#I mean once you see it I obviously did post this so nvm I guess; but still
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Not an American, and I despise Harris and Biden for their enabling of genocide, and Harris in particular for her role in so much institutional cruelty and misery. If I were there, I donāt think Iād vote for either if it came down to it.
At the same time, thereās a glimmer more hope for me when it comes to Palestine specifically with her than with Biden. Itās not a lot, and definitely not enough to be convinced sheād be willing to denounce Zionism or push the Democratic Party to distance themselves from the Israeli regime, though. Itās something though.
Here are my reasons why:
Biden specifically has been a huge voice of Zionism for decades. He once told Netanyahu that he was Israelās best friend in US politics. Harris does not have that degree of personal investment in Israel- Obviously, she is supported by AIPAC, but she has not entrenched herself in it like Biden did.
Sheās just not as old. Everyone I know thatās Bidenās age, smart or not, liberal or conservative and even actively leftist, take a lot of talking to in order to reconsider their stance on anything. We donāt have the ability to do that directly with Biden, as we can see from it taking weeks and personal lobbying for him to step down- Harris will probably be more receptive to adapting her stance on most issues than we could ever hope Biden to be.
I guess my overall feeling on the situation is: I wanted Biden gone; I want Harris better. I think everyone continuing to talk about Gaza, pressuring her on that, alongside her record on Native American rights, sex workers, police reform, etc has a genuine chance of affecting her policy choices as president.
So Iām holding out hope. Not hope on the way that āif Americanās just vote for her, sheāll be a good president!ā way, but in a āIf this election campaign continues the way it is, she can choose to reinvent herself and her stances on major issues that the Biden-Harris administration failed.ā way.
If she doesnāt make those choices, and chooses to stand even stronger pro-Israel, pro-cop and toe the Democratic Party line, then you can drag this post back up and we can all laugh at it together as a symptom of chronic centre-left apologism.
TL:DR: Keep criticising Harrisā record, keep condemning the Biden-Harris administrationās fucking awful treatment of Palestinians and apathy towards Sudan. I believe that doing that has an active political purpose in changing how Harris will approach things, and that keeping that open as a possibility can energise this movement even stronger.
irdk this just sounds like youve been totally sold over by harris having better optics than biden. harris being younger or not as expressive on her opinions on israel does not mean she doesnt stand by the decisions shes made. do you think she endorses the genocide by accident?
"we can laugh together" ah nvm you dont care about this. you typed this whole essay only for your reaction to a future where our president kills palestinians to be "lol guess i was wrong!" like what is the point of this. congrats on the successful ragebait ig?
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Check out my rainbow of friends!
"So, yes, I made all these awesome friends, and I realized that I have a full rainbow! Obviously, that's really amazing and perfect and I just have to show it to anyone who cares!
Nisha - @chainxdancer - is just really cool! She's strong and can fight and she's... I forgot what exactly she is but she's not human and has a tail and horns and she doesn't mind sharing her money or food with me, and if things go as planned I might be able to join her on her adventures soon to earn my own money!
Moonshot - @warriorfortamaran - uh... look. I needed to fill the orange slot, and I do know him. He's a meanie though, typical tamaranean with a side of extra-grumpy. Best you avoid him.
Yuko - @rosecoloredmuses - was so very nice to me! Despite having quite clearly caught me attempting to steal from her, she offered me some of her candies, and oh are those great! Definitely worth our encounter! We didn't have that much time together, since she had to go soon enough, but, it was really cool to meet her and I do consider us friends after this - I mean, you don't give non-friends just free food, right? - and just, I love her sweets and am absolutely convinced that she's a great person to meet!
Sirise - @siriseen - and I met on some other planet. It was really nice to have company during that exploration, and she knows so much! She's also really good at medicine and these things, so like, definitely someone that I'm glad to know! Still not quite sure what that Starfleet is that she belongs to, but, yeah, it's been really fun with her and I do hope that we'll meet again!
Minato - @dxfiedfxte - actually is not dyeing his hair, as he told me! I never thought humans had such a variety in hair-color! It does seem to be a unique thing for him, too, so I probably thought right. It's very awesome to know someone else who has a rather unique hair-color of their species! He's also been really nice to me so far and it's fun to hang out with him!
Perrine - @flusenimkopf - has helped me before with giving that karrn'k Moonshot a bit of what he deserves, even before we got to know one another! She's also not human either, and I think she doesn't know all about where she's from just like how I don't! It's just really cool to hang out with her, and I'm glad we're having some things in common! I'm also very happy to have someone that I can complain about Moonshot to and do stuff to him together with, that's really something I needed.
So yeah, they are all really amazing and awesome to know, so I absolutely suggest that you consider enriching your life by knowing them, too!"
[[This all has been presented to you by Starlight, found on this blog, @rainbowoftamaran . Below the cut you can find some OOC-stuff like credits and the likes.]]
Hello! If you do reach the cut, thank you for checking the OOC blabber behind the post, too! I've been working on this thing for a little bit now. I'm not entirely happy with it, but content enough to post it, as some sort of promo I guess. Please feel no obligation to reblog this, whether you are in this or not, I just had to do something "for Starlight" upon realizing she had the full rainbow together. (Obviously, not saying that friends are something to collect, or anything ridiculous like that, but I'm hopeful that no one of you will understand this wrongly!)
Moonshot is my own blog, as is Starlight, you can find a link to my mainblog and to my other blogs on each of these blogs' pages.
I sorta-copied the rainbow-waterfall-thingie from a copyrighted picture on some of these websites. I didn't use and just erase the watermark, I only took it as example and created my own thing based on it. I do hope that I don't need to credit for that, then - though during my search I found on these pages also pics with watermarks of others so they probably are in no place to call me out for using their pic as base.
In the next paragraph you find info of the pictures, and a little message to each mun in smaller in brackets behind the stuff.
Nisha's pic is taken from here, which was a commission as you can read in the post I linked. (-- I would've liked to not cut her body off quite as early, but these pics were the first I found on your blog outside of that one in your about and liked for this thing, and since they weren't going any further than this I had to cut it there! I do hope you like my choice of picture here and aren't disappointed or something that I didn't show more of Nisha!) Moonshot's pic is an edit, like the 2 other pictures I have of him, of a picture from Touda from Shounen Onmyouji. Yuko's pic is taken from an official picture, as far as I know, simply made transparent. (-- I do hope the picture is one that you like to see of her!) Sirise's pic is an edit of a screenshot showing Poison Ivy from that recent Harley Quinn show. (-- I gotta add that I was like so lucky that you actually mentioned a FC for Sirise of all your muses when I asked you that "random" question! I really wanted to include her but kinda didn't really want to add one actor among anime/cartoon/drawn characters, and when you then mentioned Ivy and I found a fitting appearance, I was so happy to have found a way to include her without mixing RL and animated characters! This thing here is also the reason I made this edit in the first place, but it was cool that I could kinda ask for your opinion on it beforehand through our talks xD) Minato's pic is, as far as I know, from an official source, and again just made transparent so it worked for my thing. (-- I really really tried to find the pic you're having as background in your theme, it looks pretty cool and I was intending to use that, but I couldn't locate it anywhere! So I kept searching, I first had a different pic chosen where he's like, very light blue all over - not in skin or the likes but I mean hair and suit - but that was a little too one-color for me in the end so I chose this one even though I prefer a bit more color! I do hope it's a 'normal' outfit of his and that you like my choice!) Perrine's pic is from here, which is art of the mun of the blog. I wish I could draw so well! (-- Your art is amazing and I'm glad you were alright with someone using it for a thing as long as you still are mentioned!)
Starlight's pic too is an edit, of an official art thingie of Rika Jougasaki from iDOLM@STER (I hope I wrote that right). And yes, she's supposed to be sitting on that cloud.
So, yes, I think this is all I have to say to it! I'm very glad that y'all are interacting with my little rainbow here (and perhaps my other blogs too), you're very awesome and it's an honor and delight to be your mutual and interaction-partner! Thank you!
#š Look at all the colors! š | Self Promo#š They're so cool! š | Promo#I don't know what else tag to put onto this; I don't usually tag promos with that; but I guess I should#anime tw#not sure if this really is a promo or something; maybe moreof a 'thank you' post; idk#just take it as whatever you want to take it as!#I am; like; /so/ worried over posting this or not#I mean once you see it I obviously did post this so nvm I guess; but still#if you end up not liking it or something feel free to just ignore it#and I very much do hope that I didn't; uh... cross any boundaries through making something like this#with including a group of different people and all; I sure hope that it's not like someone of you now goes 'ugh how could she include me an#d xyz in the same thing; that's so rude/wrong/whatever#please please please lemme know if something isn't alright with this for you; I can't promise I'll take down the thing but I can... idk; tr#y to change something about it; or something?#I love all our interactions so thank you for being here!#I waited with this until blorthog because what better day to post a friends-thing on than the festivity of friendship?
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The One Where Jensen Ackles Confirmed Cockles in 2016(????) No. Seriously. For real.
this is a DOOZY. strap in folks.
DISCLAIMER: this is chock full of rps. if you are against cockles/jenmish in any way, this post is not for you. however, if youāre like me, ummmmm...
alright. so. we are REALLY in it now, cockles truthers. and make no mistake, i DO NOT want to undersell the significance of what we have found on this glorious day in 2021.
BUT HEY! DISCLAIMER FIRST,Ā THOUGH IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING! do not EVER bring this to jensen and mishaās attention. do not comment disrespectful things on social media. when cons/panels start again, donāt ask them questions about it. ever!!! thatās super weird, for one thing, and for two, they wonāt give you the answer you want anyway! so, yeah. just be decent, yāall. letās continue.Ā
so my dear mutual @green-blue-heller made this post today and i promptly lost my mind. in it, they link this video:
youtube
as far as i can tell, itās from VegasCon 2016 but was only unprivated on january 24, 2020(dean winchesterās birthday??? wow ok) for some reason, and we have overlooked it until now. to whoever it was that posted it, THANK you for my reason for being and this delayed gratification five years later. anyway, letās get into it.
right off the bat, those expressions in the thumbnail kind of tell you all you need to know about what weāre venturing into. i have to thank BOTH jensen AND j*red for being ridiculously transparent. i mean...j*red purposefully avoiding eye contact with jensen and looking at the ceiling with his eyebrows raised sky high? jensen hiding his face in his hands, smiling and blushing like a fool, the misha faceā¢ & grin???
so letās break down what happens with timestamps and everything.
so! i looked up what the question was, i scoured through the entire Vegas Con video, and here it is:
āMy question is for Jensen and Jared. You guys are both happily married, and I noticed that many people had a hard time explaining how they know their significant other is the one. The one they want to spend the rest of their life with, the one that they want to be with, and so, I wanted to ask you guys, how did you know that your current- who youāre with now(audience laughter cuts the rest of the question off and itās unintelligible)ā ā¦.iām solidly guessing that the end of that question boils down to āwas the oneā. (....i...uhhhh....have some thoughts on how this question affected jensen, and i will be going into them later.)
Jared: *laughs* Jared, Jensen. When did you first meet your future ex-wives?
*both of them laugh*
Jared: Iām just kidding-I get what youāre trying to say and thank you, um...I, uh, I guess my current wife, uh-
*both laugh again*
Jensen: (sarcastically) Letās start with her.
Jared: (repeats) Letās start with her. I, uh, I...you said something kinda, uh, amazing in your question, which is that a lot of people have a tough time or a difficult time explaining to their significant others or to themselves what it is. And I guess I feel that I have no way to possibly explain it to myself or to her... I remember that I had been in a relationship and that I was single and I was like āI am not interested in getting in a relationshipā and then she and I went on a date and I was like, āI canāt go anywhere else. Iām not interested.ā So, that was kinda what, um, what started it for me *clears throat loudly* Uh. Yeah, I just feel like (searching for words) she makes me a better person-there are a lot of people that make you a better person, and so thatās not enough, I donāt think-or maybe it is, who knows-um...I donāt know, I canāt really...if I could explain, Iād be a poet.
hereās where things start to get interesting. before jared says āIf I could explain, Iād be a poet,ā Jensenās face looks like this:
stoic, thoughtful, composed. and then AFTER jared says that his face makes THIS little journey:
go watch it for yourself. this man is ridiculous. in terms of body language? he gazes up and AWAY from jared. it is a private thought, he is not sharing in jaredās joke with him, if at all. it is his own personal musings that make his face LIGHT up like that. this fool looks lovestruck!!! this fool is lovestruck!!!
now, i think it goes without saying, but there is an obvious cockles reason that springs to mind for this reaction. (hint: misha is a poet. thatās it, thatās the reason.) i donāt think jared intentionally said this with misha in mind, but jensenās thoughts IMMEDIATELY went there. whether or not this is because he was already planning on answering and hinting at his relationship with misha before jared says this, which i think he was-you can certainly see the wheels turning in jensenās head before this moment-his brain involuntarily makes the connection and it shows in his glowing smile.Ā after that remark...jensenās gone. heās whipped. and he HAS to say something about it.Ā
continuing from where we left off:
Jared: ...and I would love to be a poet.Ā (thought it would be fun to mention that at this point Jensen catches what his face did and immediately looks over to Jared and WIPES the expression of his face...but itās too late, because someone recorded it, i saw it, and now iām writing about it five years later)
Jared: But uhhā¦
Jensen:Ā (interrupting) Just tap me when you want me to take over.Ā
i think that jensen is simultaneously joking and is also more than ready to say what heās been composing in his head diligently for the last thirty or so seconds. he has made up his mind, and is now ready to drop the bomb on us.
*audience laughs, Jared playfully swats at him*
Jared: Uhā¦ *thinks in silence for a bit* Itās really difficult, itās really difficult. She makes me feel safe, she makes me feel loved. Uh...when...Iām in a position where I donāt love myself, I know she loves me, you know, um...sheās just an awesome, awesome lady.
*audience claps*
alright! so in terms of my OWN analysis for whatās happened up until this point, the conclusion i have come to is that there was something in the question that was asked that sets jensenās mind off about misha, and i think it was theĀ āthe oneā comment. if weāre putting our cockles goggles on, jensen doesnāt HAVE aĀ āthe oneā. he resents thinking like that. iām also very intuitive, and i get a sense that jensen is an honest person and canāt really tell a convincing lie. i mean...we all saw that horrible airbnb debacle, right? and his slip up when he accidentally confirms that misha woke up and said āi miss (maison)ā[which how would you know that unless you were...nvm] and became a stammering mess and had to sit down and cover his face. and that misha is always the one to take the lead when it comes to denying clothes sharing, for instance. jensen has never ONCE attempted to explain that away, because i donāt think anyone would believe him, and i think heās incapable of doing so because heās not a dishonest person and canāt lie easily. iām the same way, so to avoid telling a lie i always speak partial truths, and iām 99% sure jensen is well versed in this talent as well. oh, also, just to really land my point....we all know how he feels about the finale because he canātĀ makeĀ himself speak well on it. heāll gush about 15x18 and the PEOPLE BEHINDĀ the finale, but he has not uttered one. positive. word. about the actual finale itself. i mean, weĀ all know what he thinks about it. in his own way, he has made his rage glaringly obvious. and i think heās doing that exact thing here, where he resents the implication that daneel is the only āoneā for him, because thatās simply not true, and he canāt and wonāt lie about something like that.Ā
i watched it back again and wrote notes on jensenās body language as heās processing the question. here they are:
from 0:13 to 1:21, jensen:Ā
looks down - tenses face - searching eyes, lost in thought - jaredās comment brings him out of it but it takes a second - fidgets, adjusts clothes, looks at jared - bites the inside of his cheeks and moves tongue around his mouth(pacifying gesture) - eyes start wandering away from jared, looks down and tenses face, looks back at jared - then looks away, eyes and mind far from the panel and pondering the question itself - somewhat wistful expression, gears clearly turning in his head, lips pursed, stops reacting to what jared is saying, fingers start fidgeting, eyes have moved downward as he is lost in thought - something shifts in his brain, he looks to the ceiling, fidgets and adjusts his clothing, squints and seems to resolve an inner thought - slightly comes back down to earth with newfound resolution - and then jaredāsĀ āi would be a poetā comment happens while heās coming down from that
i mean, this obviously doesnāt necessarily mean anything huge(yet), all it shows is that this question took a lot of thinking for him. when you compare it to how jared kind of just dove in?Ā
anyway; so then jaredās done, he slaps jensenās thigh to indicate itās his turn, jensen makes THAT face you see in the thumbnail, jaredās eyebrows raise, jensen looks down and scratches his forehead, and then makes the statement of a lifetime.Ā
hereās the link for this next part
Jensen: Ummm..I kind of feel like thereās two types of peopleĀ ..uh..in regards to marriage and the, the one. Uh, itās the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then thereās those who are, you know, I donāt know, Iām scared, but Iām willing to take that leap of faith with you. And, I kind of find myself in between both of those(...types of people). And uh, and so, it can be a scary endeavour, and it can, and it will certainly have itās ups and downs, um, but I think itās a, uh, itās a bond, and itās a connection, and itās a friendship, and itās a ride, and itās a journey that, uh, if youāre willing to stick it out with one another, can be an amazing, beautiful thing and Iām glad that I picked the partner and the teammate that I have, so.
iāll give you like a second to recuperate before we dig in.Ā
letās start with both jared and jensenās body language first, because it wasnāt even the words that clued me in, it was whatever the hell was going on with jaredās face.Ā
i really wish i could gif, but i can only attempt to convey the SPEED and VIGOUR with which jared snaps his head toward jensen.Ā
these pictures are objectively hilarious because you can see the entire mental journey that jared goes on. he was aloof and kind of relaxed because he was done, itās jensenās turn now, heās surely not gonna out himself with this question right? and then jensen goes ahead and saysĀ āthere are two-ā and jared instantly zones right into jensen with a look of horror on his face, that he tries to contain, but does so unsuccessfully. that is the face of a man who is internally freaking out, thought to himselfĀ ādid he seriously just say...ā and is kind of staring at the culprit in shock and awe.
i know thatās whatās happening, because this is not the first time weāve seen him react like this to something jensen has said. the classic head whip. a few examples, just off the top of my head:
1.Ā āhe has, hasnāt he?āĀ
2.Ā āhe sounds like that in the morningāĀ āhow do you knowāĀ
3. when he whips his head around when he notices jensenās face(and instantly understands when he realizes itās misha)
so yeah, iām sure you get it by now. jared canāt really keep it off of his face. thereās no real analyzing to be done here...itās just an obvious tell on his part. thereās no real reason for him to have reacted this way if jensen was saying something inconspicuous, is there? he would have continued to just kind of space out if jensen hadnāt just said something jarringly questionable.Ā
as for jensenās body language, i canāt really tell where heās looking from either angle of both videos iāve seen. sometimes it seems like heās looking straight at jared, and maybe nods at him once, but he could also(and is most likely) looking at the fan who asked the question. i donāt think thereās anything particularly telling about his body language because i think he rehearsed his answer in his head and also, heās not shying away because heās not lying about anything. like...everything heās saying is true, so heās not going to have any tells. and itās the fact that he is TELLING THE TRUTH that is freaking jared out.
now for what he actually says. because oh my god.Ā
right off the bat, he saysĀ āi kind of feel like thereās two types of people..ā and first off, what? what does that even mean? if you think of it in terms ofĀ āthis is about daneel and only daneelā....isnāt this a realllyyyyy strange thing to start out with? objectively? the question that was asked to him wasĀ āhow did you know they were the one?ā and he goesĀ āactually thereās TWO types of peopleā ...like, jensen never answers the question at hand.Ā
and then he goesĀ āin regards to marriage and the oneā. i hope iām not the only one who noticed he said the wordsĀ āthe oneā in a resentful and kind of degrading tone? seriously, listen to it again. he seems like heās almost mocking that sentiment. i swear iām not making it up, it really sounds like that to me.Ā
and then he says ā-itās the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then thereās those who are, you know, I donāt know, Iām scared, but Iām willing to take that leap of faith with you.ā *NON TINHAT VERSION OF EVENTS* what he could mean, i guess, is he was both scared to be with daneel but also knew she was the one for him. which....ok. alright. *TINHAT BACK ON* first off, thereās absolutely no risk with daneel. thatās not a judgement, because i love her; itās just true. sheās a pretty, talented, amazing woman and they are very much in love. iām not sure what risks heās taking there. next up: pretty strange wording then, donāt you think? idk, if it were you, and you wanted to get that point across, wouldnāt you use words like āshe both scared me and i knew i wanted to be with her at the same timeā and NOT this convoluted mess of āthereās two types of people and they are both drastically different but also one and the sameā?Ā
SECOND OF ALL, as many people have pointed out.....he never uses pronouns. this is strange. jared does. jared says genās name, even. and uses āsheā and āherā. jensen never once does that, he practically refuses to do so. and yes, i fully believe it is entirely intentional.
because if you look at this phrase from a cockles lens it makes more sense then if you do not.Ā
the one that jensen knows, unequivocally, with the utmost certainty, is the one for him, no doubts, no risks; is daneel. the one that he doesnāt know about, is scared of being with, but is willing to take that leap of faith anyway; is misha. and all of a sudden the puzzle pieces fall into place.
because he goes on to sayĀ āI kind of find myself in between both of those.āĀ
he doesnāt sayĀ āi find myself in between both of those...with her.ā nope. heās just...in between. caught in the middle. of those two types of people. translation: of those two people. mish. dee.Ā
āAnd it can be a scary endeavour, and it will certainly have itās ups and downs, but I think itās a bond, and itās a connection, and itās a friendship, and itās a ride, and itās a journey...āĀ
every single one of those words can be applied to more than one person. think about it. bond(between three people). connection(between three people). friendship(between three people!!!). thereās noĀ āpartnershipā in here, which does only apply to two people.Ā
lastly,Ā āiām glad i picked the partner and the teammate that i have.ā
ok, look. you can easily say that itās just one person heās talking about here! of course you can. but this is jensen ackles weāre talking about. jensen ārock and pebbleā ackles. jensenĀ āmish. dee.ā ackles. so yes. i definitely think thatĀ āthe partner and the teammateā fall into this category. and i think daneel is the partner and misha is the teammate.Ā
to put it matter-of-factly: you simply cannot prove that this isnāt about a poly relationship. there is absolutely nothing he says that makes it obvious he is talking about one person here. because he isnāt.Ā
i just feel like, in the simplest terms, if this were about only daneel, that he would not be using these weird phrases that are half-hidden truths. just to compare, i watched another panel where pretty much the exact same question was asked, minus the whole āthe oneā debacle, and, just as i suspected, it was an entirely different answer. he talks about the moment where he knew he liked her. her, specifically. says the name daneel. gushes about her. thereās no tiptoeing and weird pronoun usage and vague terminology.Ā
tl; dr : i think he answered the question this way because there is noĀ āthe oneā in his life. and he is physically incapable of leaving misha out when talking about āthe oneā because he has TWO āthe onesā. and he wants to answer the question to the best of his best ability, but lying is unnatural to him. he will talk about daneel at length and misha at length, but i honestly to my core donāt think you could make him choose between the two. oh! and we literally had confirmation all the way back in fucking 2016, we just never paid attention until now. so......thanks, jensen?
sorry, this got super long, but i hope i warned you well enough.Ā
#helloooo cockles truthing community#my anxiety is sky-high rn bc this is so damning for them#but i mean i can't feel bad because jensen SAID those things.#anyway am i contributing to cockles lore??? god i hope so#i mean it when i say i am SWEATING#if you think i'm reaching...i know more than you#rps for ts#team dumpster mansion#cockles confirmation#cockles#jenmish#long post for ts#cockles meta#relationship spec#all that jazz#jensenxmisha#mine
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I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON HOW AMERICAN SOCIETY HANDLES MENTAL DISABILITY AND I HAVE DECIDED TO talk about it to myself on my blog at moderate volume
THOUGHT NUMBER 1!!
OK so iām pretty sure anyone whoās thought about it knows that the medical community (and other industries connected to it, like the insurance dudes), donāt consider brain-malfunction conditions to be on the same tier as other forms of healthcare, and give less priority to funding those departments, which means even if you HAVE got a bunch of medical professionals in those disciplines who DO take that ish seriously, theyāve got immediate barriers between them and the folks needing their services. which sucks.
that one i donāt have an immediate fix for, cuz i donāt think there IS an immediate fix, especially with how many more people are needing mental health treatments/evaluations these days. but you know what COULD have a nice big drastic impact on how people as a whole see mental health AND ALSO how large of a burden untreated mental health problems put on american society??
MAKE. ANNUAL. MENTAL HEALTH. EVALUATIONS. A. NORMAL. THING!!
like what parents are supposed to do with their kids and dr appointments is at least once a year, hop in the car or on the bus, and take their kid to get a physical! thats a totally normal thing people do, the idea being āeven if there wasnāt anything obviously wrong before the appointment, its just a good way to keep an eye on our childrenās health and catch problems sooner if a serious one does turn up!
well folks, that idea of monitoring oneās health preventing a lot of problems from becoming problems in the first place would also work with any and all forms of neurodivergency!! like how many people who struggle with a brain illness struggle mostly due to the fact that they werenāt prepared for it!? iām totally projecting here btw, cuz guess what happened to me even though i WAS tested as a kid!! this exact issue right here!
obviously, a lot of mental illnesses specifically canāt be counted on to show up when you're still in childhood, where once a problem is revealed its the adults around you who are supposed to take care of you and make sure youāre getting what you need. BUT!!! but but but but BUT
if you DID come down with a condition as an adult, but youād already been somewhat familiarized with what symptoms WERE IN FACT symptoms, and common treatments/solutions for said symptoms, due to having regular psychiatric checkups with a dr throughout childhood?
well, odds seems pretty good that youād be much better prepared for that condition if/when it did come along, and it would probably take less time to notice it too!
say nothing of the fact that this would do a lot to de-stigmatize mental health, cuz if u arrange ur healthcare system so it is No Longer Assuming That Neurotypicality Is The Norm, then EVERYONEāS got that knowledge too, and even for the people who havenāt got a form of neurodivergence and never will -Ā them having a similar stockpile of background knowledge and awareness of mental health as those who do have a condition will do a ton to remove the obstacles in the way of effective society-wide treatment of brain illnesses (both on the stigma side of things, and on the practical symptom-treating side)
THOUGHT NUMBER 2!!
so this party-popper of thought was specifically inspired by a post i saw but canāt find (NVM I FOUND IT :D) that listed neurotypical traits in a similar manner as autistic traits tend to be talked about - i chuckled at it and then went like hey, what if tho, what if that could actually have some practical applications?
specifically, what if that exact premise was used as a the foundation of a unit in health classes in public schools?
like i know that even if you get a health curriculum and teacher that does a fairly good job of talking about what theyāre required/allowed to talk about, there just isnāt enough time given to go into detail about a lot of important shit, and in the classes i got at least, neurodivergency vs. neurotypical-ness was one of the things not discussed (most of the ones i got focused on healthy relationships, which they did a good-but-not-great job on)
but if you had even just a couple lectures where the teachers first explain what each one is, give a few examples of neurodivergent conditions, and then follow it up with a talk outlining the neurotypical traits and explaining why/how theyāre neurotypical traits?? it could definitely have a similar effect as the theoretical benefits to Thought #1
it would potentially re-frame the lack-of-condition that is being neurotypical - like i feel like the way people see it as ānormalā and while i get how thatās the impression people end up with, i think thatās a bad way to try and categorize the different ways the human brain functions - cuz what does normal even mean??? it doesnāt really describe anything except that āthis person doesnāt seem to have anything going on with their behavior, they must be normalā which. uh. hi there high-functioning folks, how yāall doing on this fine fall afternoon?
like if iād been made aware that a lot of the stuff i did that i knew was what made me āweirdā were actually full-on SYMPTOMS that i actually shared with a ton of other people!? lemme tell you, it wouldāve made a BIG difference in how much i measured the scope my problems based on āiām weird though, so this is to be expectedā
Ā Even (or maybe especially)Ā though i didnāt actually know anybody personally with the same conditions, because hey! i didnāt know many people personally who also had asthma, but i never developed any hangups around how that affected my physical needs. why would I??! iād already met a bunch of doctors about it, gotten an inhalor for it, and knew it was a Condition and that i was far from the only kid who had it. there wasnāt any empty space in my knowledge that i was left to fill with my own assumptions, that if i was so perpetually inadequate it must just be a trait i had and there wasnāt any point in trying to logic my way out of that burden
it doesnāt seem like it would be particularly difficult to close that knowledge gap when it comes to how people look at mental illness and neurodivergency, even just by explaining whatās really going into being allistic, neurotypical, or ānormalā would go a long way towards dispelling the idea that people have absolute control over their brains and behavior, as well as just being a great way to get folks with undiagnosed going-ons in their grey matter to shake off any assumptions theyāve made about how they should look at themselves for not being normal
ok yeah, having lectures where u explain how a person is neurotypical the same way youād explain how someone is neurodivergent wonāt help people with brain conditions know which one theyāve got or what to do about it - but i feel like the greater gain here is disrupting the idea that being neurotypical or ānormalā is something that awards merit or pride.
no one whoās not-neurodivergent got that way because of something they personally achieved or did. it wasnāt a reward they received from the universe for being a Certified Good Boi, they got lucky! they didnāt do anything to personally earn a brain that functions and on the flip side of that, starting out with a brain that functions isnāt actually some form of magical protection from losing that functionality if ur good luck runs out - a lot of forms of neurodivergence arenāt ones youāre born with after all.
and even the ones that ARE, same logic applies!! autism, adhd, and other conditions arenāt metaphorical coal in ur stocking for being naughty, they just are. nobody gets a say in what stats they have at birth!! (honestly the control we have even under our own agency and mobility isnāt that influential on our circumstances a lot of the time)
basically i feel like u want to start regularly introducing the idea that the perception of ānormalā is coming out of very measurable things in peopleās brains. A perception which really just seems like another lazy way of assuming that those who have a functioning brain wonāt ever have to worry about losing that, like itās an inherent trait to you as a person or something - newflash! it aināt. your mind, personality, and behavior are not magical airy-fairy things detached from measurable factors, their roots are all held within your brain, and your brain is an organ which can get sick or damaged. Not only that, but since its a very complex organ to boot, it doesnāt take a very big change to cause big differences in functionality!!
like yeah in theory it would be great if you could explain the difficulties people with disabilities face to those with no personal stake in that, and have them have sufficient empathy to consider that as something that matters. And although Iām sure there ARE folks out there capable of that, thereās also a lot of folks out there who will let you down BIG TIME on that front, so i think another tactic to use when trying to combat ableism would be to start requiring curriculums that gives all the folks across the board a nice big sip of
#ableism is stupid in this essay i will proceed to#mental health#neurodivergency#us healthcare#altho im sure there are similar problems even in places that have universal healthcare too#honestly bi-annual mental health evals would be best#but annual ones would still be an improvement!#i guess the overall point of both of my points be that#society could eliminate a lot of its big problems rn#if it started practicing self-awareness and let go of the idea that one is supposed to be born normal#and if once u are u don't need to look into it any further#yeah it would be nice to be able to achieve a certain level of then-constant good health#like if u level up enough u never have to worry about losing the good luck u started with#but thats not realistic - even if ur born totally healthy and normal in brain and body#odds are you'll age into being disabled if u live long enough#so hope for the best but be fucking prepared for the worst methinks#oh yeah and nanny mcphee is here cuz i like her
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Title: I Get Tim a Cat Because Itās What He Deserves (oh and i guess a group chat š)
a batfam/wayne family groupchat would literally never happen in canon but it would be so fucking funny you all donāt even know, so i will do it anyways.
the chat just kinda... starts. no one know where it came from. who added them. who??? none of their emotionally stunted asses would be caught dead making making a family chat tf? why canāt any of them leave? they smash their phones and then on their laptop a notification pops up like āyouāve joined āxā groupā and theyāre stuck there. might as well use it ig, but for what???
āeveryone who is alive type āiāā no one responds so bruce spends hours trying to find out where their bodies are until he finds out everyone just had the chat on mute
āwhy isnāt alfred on hereā āhuh. alfred isnāt on here and no one knows who made the chat?ā āso whoever made it just left immediately?ā ā...ā ālol anywaysā
tim was trying to send a snap to the core four gc but accidentally sent it to the family chat and gets super embarrassed (of course this happens when everyoneās online why wouldnāt they if it makes timās life more difficult) and everyone makes fun of him. duke printed out copies and plastered them all over timās apartment while tim was out for something and tim nearly murders duke. after that no one puts the chat on mute because this was too funny.
no one actually, like, texts on a regular basis because theyāre not like other families š they only text if itās really important or someoneās dying.
thatās being said, ādick where is dogā āsend doggyā ādog?ā āsend doggyā ādick when did you get a dog?ā āSEND DOGGYā āi demand you send the dog this instantā ādog now.ā
damian breaks into dickās apartment to take a selfie with him and haley (or bitewing, haley is just shorter to type) captioned āshe is mine this is a warning to all of you. i will not hesitate if any of you low lives come near her.ā and dick is like ā??? this is my dog i canāt have anything these days, siblings take everything, manāā oh ya, everyone reacts to the haley photo with a heart. also dick only lets this shit slide with damian, if jason the problem child pulled this shit it would be on sight lmfaooo
- tim: the dog is cute but, but in photography i learned you have to crop out everything unimportant, like this *crops out damian from the photo*
- in other news, tim joined the dead bats club and now only bruce and duke are left ššŖ
bruce: check in if you are alive. *everyoneās status is online*
u donāt know about yāall, but my bruce wayne is a responsible father who keeps an eye on his kids, or at least does his best, āhas anyone seen duke? he has school and i canāt find himā āi will find him... if you give me $50.ā āi will give you the money jason just tell me where he isā jason sends a photo of himself and duke laying down on the floor eating pop tarts.
-āliterally why do you all keep coming into my apartmentā āour apartment, dickā āi pay for this apartment itās mine, i keep living in blĆ¼dhaven for a reason, god, siblings always steal everything thatās yourāsāā itās ok guys dick simultaneously has eldest daughterās syndrome and absent sibling syndrome, who is doing it like him? legend behavior. anyways, duke and jason left crumbs on the floor and dick beat them up lmao.
ācan i have moneyā ādadā (theyre sent by same person just different text) āyes cass i will sent you as much as you need, $2,000 is enough for shipping with friends?ā ādad can i have money tooā ādad can i tooā āmay i have some too dadā ādadā ādadā fhdjdjsks they only call him dad when theyāre dying, want something, or are tattling on each other, someone save him š©
ā@everyone the interviewer in the last segment asked me if we have a family chat and i have a feeling they will try to pry into my texts to see what we are texting, please actually send something so they donāt get even more nosy from our lack of communicatingā *someone sends the bee movie script*
ok but like, as time goes on they get more comfy texting each other and acting like a normal(ish) family unit that texts a little more. like tattling.
āsomeone broke the vase in the hallway and if they donāt want me to tell pennyworth who did it they will buy alfred the cat a new scratching post by nightfallā damian is so funny i love him
āHELPPVHRNXKAKā āwhatās up with jason?ā ācass is sitting on himā ālolā āi think sheās gonna break his arm fhdjdkskā āANDBSJ I HAT E YO U A LLā āwhen did you all come to the manor???ā
āšā bruce vs ālolā dick and cass vs āagdhsjakā tim and duke vs āhAā jason vs āi donāt find any of you funnyā damian
ādamian i am putting your lemon cake pop thingies in the last bottom shelf on the right, i put the code and everything in the safeā āhow often does damian even come to your apartment, dick?ā āwhenever youāre being an asshole bruceā āheās always an asshole dickhead šā āexactly š„°ā
ādad guess whatā āTIM NOOOā āremember whenā āTIM TIM TIMā āyou told duke to take the day shiftā āI WILL NEVER POST YOUR SNAP PHOTOS TO A GROUPCHAT WITH THE ENTIRE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY AGAIN!!!ā āand he agreed to if he did his school work first?ā āMERCY, MERCYā āwhat did he do, timā āfjdjxkskkz duke goes on school zoom meetings during patrol and pretends he doesnāt have a mic and camera and i was watching his helmet footage and it was so funny, the teachers just believe him when he pretends to have really bad network and can barely type in the chatā āmy teachers never trusted me that muchā āthatās because you made a kid cry once jason stfuā āwait how did u know that cassāā
āAHDBSNZKAJHFā āstfu dukeā āwhatās wrong with him where is he?ā ācain came to visitā āohhhhā āFHDJFJDJ HELLPPPXSNDā āi know youāre taking a video, you little shit, send itā āno todd come here and take one yourselfāor donāt, your presence is unwantedā āfucking bratā
āDAD DICK HIT MEā āDAD JASONāS LYINGā *bruce wayne online* (he doesnāt fucking respond fhsjskla) (is it because heās exasperated with them or crying because they called him dad even though itās a manipulation tactic or both weāll never know)
āeveryone who is alive, type in chatā *everyone is online* then bruce edits the message to say āeveryone who wants alfredās cinnamon rolls, type in chatā āi guess NO ONE wants alfredās cinnamon rolls, how sadā and the entire chat goes wild lmfao
ok uhhh letās do on a scale of 1-10 texts most vs is online the most
bruce: 6-texting, 5.9-online because he always makes an effort to text his kids to check up on them and when his kids are texting he will text as well here and there in the convo to interact with them because he never sees and interacts with them normally and he wants to do better š„². he getās minus 0.1 because of that one time jason and dick were fighting and he logged off agdhsjnz
dick: 3-texting, 3.5-online because heās the only one in this hellhole of a family that has an actual job (in this house we uphold gymnastics teacher grayson š) and sometimes he wonāt have energy to text. so. but he does make an effort when he can. heās online more than he texts because heās able to sneak looks at the fights when he has downtime during his job and wants to see the drama lmfaooo. also everything goes on in his fucking apartment for some reason, so now he gotta break up a (one sided) fight between cass and tim because someone has to be a responsible adult.
cass: 2-texting, 10-online because she watches more than she texts? sheās more content to watch whatās going on than to join in. also 8/10 sheās usually the one causing the drama that everyoneās texting about, like beating up the others, so she canāt text while beating them up. i mean she could, but she wants to put more energy in beating them up (lovingly) (cass is basically violence (loving)) and watching what everyoneās saying about her fights. sheās always online to catch a glimpse at the drama. also most of her texts are to dick to see bitewing. and ask for money.
jason: texting-8, online-4 because if cass is the one causing drama offline, jasonās causing drama online. jason wants to be chat cryptic but texts the most lmfaoooo. heās antagonizing his siblings whenever he sees them and whenever he canāt, king shit. heās online less because he deadass doesnāt care that much, heāll read the texts later if he really wants to, otherwise either duke or tim will fill him in on the drama. (ājason ur in the chat tooāā āshut up, tim, now tell me how cass beat damianās ass)
tim: texting-6.44444, online-10, see tim texts a lot just not to the family group chat lmfao, he has REAL FRIENDS š¤ uhh ya, thatās why heās online all the time, cuz heās either texting his friends or on his phone doing some shit. broke: tim stays up late working on cases, woke: tim stays up late texting his friends and playing video games over chat. tim just. interacts with his family, gets bullied by them, ya. thatās the life. also he and duke keep throwing hands because itās the family curse to beat up tim and in this essay i will discuss how dick is the superior sibling because he never tried to kill timāwait he probably pushed him down the stairs once nvm but it was totally justified, king
duke: texting-4, online-4 because he has, like, school. and daytime patrol. and is like a junior in high school and therefore has a fuck ton of homework. my boy has no time for family and he doesnāt want it because theyāre annoying, obviously š. if he wants drama heāll go into damianās room and get the drama. diy icon. heās online as much as he texts but is so fast of a reader heāll know the drama in time for the next episode of wayne family shit. most of his time online is picking fights with tim and roasting his siblings to a crisp. heās so mean, guys, legend has it that one time duke told jason that his helmet looked like a shriveled up dildo and that it could never be the gay statement he wanted it to be jason went offline for that entire day in order to cry himself to sleep. at least he got sleep (allegedly) ayyy duke the problem solver.
damian: texting-1.5, online 2 because the only time heās texting is to ask dick for photos of bitewing and to send photos of his pets back as proper payment. a negotiator ugghhh father like son. damian honestly doesnāt care about the drama he just wants to sketch bitewing (using the photos dick sent as reference) into the Family Portrait Sketchā¢ļø of the rest of the Animal Familyā¢ļø. it is an honor for damian to create such a piece, picasso the women hater quakes in his grave as such art that blows his dog shit āartā FAR out of the water is developing. anyways, he goes online for that and to throw random barbs at his siblings. like no one is online and damian just throws a ādrake is stupidā in chat and just dips. heās online more to text the other teen titans and jon because theyāre better than his dumbass family (and he texts grayson on messenger so fhdjdjsks) true chat cryptic, jason envies him
alfred: 0-texting, 10-online. huh who said that
āduke take down the tik toks, tim is cryingā
āwho has my sweatshirt??? i will kill you allā āi have it jasonā ānvm cass thatās your sweatshirt now iām sorry for being presumptuous donāt aTTACK MEā fhdjdjsks
āguys i have the day off do you want to hear when delilah said to jonathon itās so funnyā āare those the kids in your gymnastics class?ā āyaā ātell us everythingā
the bats just... love hearing drama about those kids because theyāre so dramatic. apparently alex threw a rubber ball at maya and she tackled them. wild.
time for a round of: WHO SAID IT?!?!
āhow do i make my text bold like the rest of you?ā ābruce, dick, cass, and jason at some point.
āhow do i change my screen name? please change it back to beforeā -cass when tim changed her name to āhal jordon #1 stanā (āwhat is a stanā ābruce), (āi donāt like it either change it backā ābruce after finding out what a stan is)
āwhat the fuck is a pogā ājason
āfucking ātik tokā. we used to use vine when i was a teen. i was a front line soldier of great disastersā ādick on one hand lmfao dick is so old but on the other hand holy shit you used vine??? tell us more about the battles fought
āwhat is a dilf?ā ābruce after scrolling through twitter
ok thatās all, my brain is gone.
ācass dick is turning purple get off himā āno. make him give me my scarf back.ā āoh dad thatās terrible can you send a video as evidence?ā
āGUYS I FOUND A CAT AND IT SCRATCHED ME AND IM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL BUT GUYS!!! CAT!!!ā ādrake send a photo of the cat immediatelyā lmfao bruce zooms to the hospital after that text
āGUYS THE CAT HAS AN OWNER I CANT KEEP THE CAT š„²ā āthe one time you could prove to be of use and you fail, drake.ā āwow tim, find a cat to steal without an owner next timeā ātimmy, timmy, timmy, i canāt believe youāve messed up in finding a cat againā āagain?ā āagain?ā āagain?ā āwhen i adopt a cat iām not showing any of you, i hate you allā (lmao hard version of guess who is who iāll give you a hint dick cass and bruce are the confused ones. )ok itās not hard anymore.
ādad please get me a cat š³š± haha jk š¤£š© unless ššššš„°ā anyways tim named the cat starry because of her fur-hair-thingy
āthey just so you all know steph just crashed in my apartment and i have work in the morningā āi will pick her up in the morningā āyou mean tim will, you donāt have a license, cass. anywaysā
ādick do you need help moving?ā āno, bruce, i think i can handle it, donna and wally are helping me anyways, but thank youā āmOVING???ā āOUT OF YOUR APARTMENT???ā āDICK THAT SAME APARTMENT ON 666 HELLHOLE AVENUE???ā ā...ya?ā āNOOOOOā anyways they all break into dickās new apartment when he moves in, walk around it, and then leave. they just... ya... damn, these bats...
anyways thatās all. see ya.
#dbsjxjjs the batkids just have an attachment to dickās apartment#the batkids: sir thats my emotional support apartment you canāt just move#fuck you all damian is very well versed in internet culture he just chooses to not use it#dick was around in the time of VINE. YALL.#the fact that dick is the only one with like a normal job fjsjsks#heās the only one that does his taxes too besides bruce#bruce trying his best and thatās all i will accept. i love him.#jason: wannabe cryptic vs damian: cryptic king.#cass just. beats up her brothers because she can. she deserves it too.#tim deserves nice things so i gave him a cat.#duke is so funny i love him.#heās like ātime to fuck up timās life again hehehehā#duke is literally 16? a teen? heās mean by default thats it#dc comics#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#cassandra cain#jason todd#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#featuring those damn gymnastics kids š©#mine
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Boba, please bully some of our shyer residents into posting selfies! I am dying for some Rarer Insta Content.
ok iāll try here we goĀ
@vixey-chakraborty KEEP THE COW CONTENT COMING BUT ALSO LET UR OWN NATURAL RADIANCE SHINE!!! I LOVE U PLEASE IM ASKING SO NICELY BUT ALSO VERY LOUDLY SO EVERYONE CAN HEARĀ
@rikuxnakayama sirĀ i cannot keep buying overpriced coffee from [name redacted] just for the ten seconds of eye contact we have i simply do not make enough money have pity on me and POSTĀ
@vitani-blackwell u arent really shy so i dont understand how you are not posting daily thirst traps i have seen your body and therefore seen god please RESUME REGULAR CONTENTĀ
@melody-the-unwritten typing ur username just now made me cry. :( melody i MISS YOu. melody i dont think u understand u could be miss swynlake if u wanted... this is your YEAR
@princess-ting-ting you post extremely quality pics of your fish and family jigsaw puzzles and stuff and thats valid and good plz dont stop but also you are the qin i respect in this world and i think you deserve to be told how beautiful u are jsĀ
@littlelectriceelduh ur mysterious and look like the boy my mum warned me about. plz indulge my worst desires and help me star in my very own all time low pop punk fantasyĀ
@arista-the-musical BLASPHEMY that i am tagging a triton wtf did your sisters teach u!! arista when i say that i believe if you post selfies tagged #stopglobalwarming that it could maybe inspire a movement im not even being hyperbolic i think the power is in your hands and you should use itĀ
@cinderellaashbourne HONEY PLEASE COME HOME tiana as her roommate why are you not instilling in ella the confidence needed to become a powerhouse insta mom im just saying she could build an empire off her smileĀ
@babettexdurand seeing u makes me goĀ š„ŗ š„ŗ š„ŗ š„ŗ š„ŗ š„ŗ sincerely do not think there are words...Ā
@evil--endeavors you want to be taken seriously as a business woman, totally fair! however, fourth wave feminism said stuff about idk owning ur sexuality or-- nvm dont do it for me do it for the young LESBIANS. also kick me in the face :)Ā
@one-lucky-lad small confession...i have a crush on this darling I KNOW I KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING however i am not immune to the specific charms of his beautiful blue eyes. im just saying haha what if we kissedĀ
@tink-bell tink used to post all the time but then she got her heart broken or something and i just think she needs to build up all that very valid fierce tink bell confidence she was famous for!! tink PLEASE give me the bed selfie i know you have! txt me u up ;) ? ask me to netflix and chill! also post on instagram obviously!Ā
@sanmononoke what is going on with this person real talk besides ofc being very hot as per swynlakeās hotness requirement. idk if she has an instagram. bet sheād post like feet pics and shit like that. think that we need a little bit of that spice in swynlake dont you!!!Ā
@moon-yeongjun frankly it is a crime that we are all collectively robbed of the journey that would be jun moon instagram experience. if you dont think heās hot youāre lying to yourself!! new rule every time jun posts a petition he owes us a selfie its only fair idk im once again putting tiana to the task of making that happen
@notmuchofatail heās been posting more lately but it is not enough for me. gregory eeyore is my past present and future. like im in love with him is what im saying.Ā
@a-merman-not-a-guppy stop pretending like youāre not a handsome lad its EMBARRASSING. what is the point also of designing ur own clothes if you arent putting up your wares on instagram. again this is just common sense i cannot believe im giving this immaculate advice for free.Ā
@notbad-justsungthatway again she posts decently but i think she should post more bc she is easily in the ten hottest people ever in swynlake. its a fact not an opinion and weād all feel a lot calmer if she was active daily on instagram
@pinkpearlpark the coolest of the teens!! i need her to post so she can teach ME how to post. like idk what im doing teach me the ways of being an attractive rich cool person miss park!Ā
@bucktoothed--ice-prince again idk whats going on here heās this very mysterious stranger who blew into town out of nowhere. maybe going without an instagram is the whole point but i would rather write dumb things on ur posts tbh
@trickster-knownas-pan AND A THIRD person who i know nothing about. maybe i am just nosy but also you are hot so you owe me something thats how survival of the fittest works maybe !!!!!!! i failed science three times!!!!Ā
@devyn-morey lol i know he posts a lot but obviously! obviously!Ā
@geehosaphat on the other hand martin has two posts on his instagram maybe and thats abysmal. martin you do realize youāre like. hot right. i mean it like you could be in a magazine. youāre hot. take off your shirt sometime maybe if youāre comfortable so you can flaunt it!Ā
@winndeavor again i know ur a serious business person who has a certain brand to maintain. on the other hand: you have abs. much to think about i know.Ā
@hclyghcst DISGUSTING that you could win jewel of the season or w/e and then disappear from my life. you owe me like ten selfies at this point! youāre cute kind and a good friend to people in your life! fuck im obsessed with u!!Ā
@vvinter-queen and now we shout out to her sister ANNA to help her. anna how is it that u have a moderately thriving bookstagram and yet elsa has no idea what a filter is. intervene. fix it. sheās beautiful. imagine how much ice cream u will sell.Ā
@gleamdncglow u dont have to post bc it might actually piss me off considering how pretty you are. but if you want to i guess (please please please please please please)Ā
@gabriella-marino you know whatās the best way to get to know ppl in town and make friends! yeah ur right, its thirst traps on instagram! i think youāre so cute on a serious note please tell me more about u...maybe in the captions on your thirst trap for instagram!Ā
@edwardandalasia honestly just curious how it would go if someone showed edward who is maybe suffering from some textbook case of amnesia how instagram works. you also have the best skin ive ever seen. send me ur tips. ok thank u!!!
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So I this are just a bunch of texts that I sent my cousin and I thought why not post it on Tumblr as well!
Please do not take this seriously this is just some really bad comedy. Hope you enjoy. (Also this does have swear words and I mean a lot of swear words so you have been warned.)
Ok I havenāt edit this at all so sorry for my grammar and sorry if this doesnāt make sense
So a new MLB episode came out and itās a special? Idk to be honest but here are my thoughts cause I want you to watch it! So there is a fucking new intro! It reminds me of the old Barbie movies intros not gonna lie but I guess itās kinda cool.
Ok so their flying abilities or powers or whatever look really weird and I donāt like them. Alya showing the camera back and forth gave me a headache.
Ok but Ladybugs knowing about roses and their meanings gives me fanfic vibes not gonna lie. Chat trying his best too whoo Ladybug and respecting their boundaries (which she made by the way) freaking adorable not gonna lie. Chat being flustered fuck I just realized how much I missed him. Ugh Ladybugās soft look and as soon as she leaves Chatās soft look fuck they are adorable omg. Ok Chat saying that he needs to give himself some flowers cause he is amazing. 100% agree 10/10 you deserve it. TREAT YO SELF!
Ugh definitely did not miss Marinetteās obsession with Adrien omg. Sheās really trying to lie to tikki bro youāre with her all the time. You canāt lie to her plus sheās been alive since the beginning of the universe and youāre telling me you are honestly trying to lie to her. God damnit Marinette you are such a dumbass.
LMAO THE STUDENT FILM OH MY FUCKING GOD!! THATāS SO FUNNY!
God damn I saw on tumblr people comparing Draco to Chloe and Iām like bro Draco is a meme and a great character. Chloe is a bitch who is so fucking annoying.
OMG THE TEACHER IS PREGNANT ALL SHE HAD TO SAY WAS I HAVE MEDICAL EXAMS AND I KNEW!!! FUCKKKK YESSSS A RED HEADED BABY!!!
Can you imagine there is a whole episode where the class has to take care of the baby (for whatever reason) and all of them freaking out cause this baby is too precious and Alya coming in and saving the day and being like guys calm down. Itās all good. Nino fucking going soft trying to help Alya as best as he can. Marinette and Adrien never doing this before so both of them are super flustered and nervous! God I WOULD LITERALLY KILL FOR THAT EPISODE NOW HOLY SHIT!!!
Ok damn Kim really aināt holding back like chill dude. He really just told the principal that the science teacher isnāt cool. You tell that to your friends not the fucking principal. You dumbass.
LILA IS HERE FUCK!!! God not only do I have to deal with Chloeās bullshit but Lilaās too omg. Ok idk if itās the website that Iām watching it in but their voices sound weird and I hope itās just the website and not the actual episode.
Marinette shut the fuck up ADRIEN WAS TALKING BITCH!!! YOU INTERRUPTED HIM!!! Lmao nice save Marinette talking about the film to distract everyone from the fact that you like Adrien. GOD DAMNIT ADRIENāS SOFT LOOK FUCK!!! HE LOVES HER SO MUCH BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW IT YET OMG!!! GOD DAMN!!! Lmao Lilaās face! Yeah fuck you Lila! Bitchass!
So Marinette is telling everyone that she is over Adrien. Alya isnāt falling for this bullshit! Love that. Marinette, why are you lying just ask them to help you move on. Like I can see the effort but I donāt understand why you are lying about it if you arenāt completely over him. Like bruh. ALEX REALLY SAID āNo kiddingā to when Marinette said that she was acting crazy. YES ALEX QUEEN! CALL HER OUT! Marinette saying that she just wants to be friends with him and not in love with him. (ARE WE FINALLY GETTING THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT WE ALL DESERVE HOLY SHIT IM LIVING!) Nope nvm sheās still on her bullshit. Did Alya just say that if Marinette will be ok with her and Adrien going to New York together because it may be too romantic. Like Bitch YOU GUYS LIVE IN PARIS! I'M SURE SHE WILL BE FINE!
FUCK YOU GABRIEL!! DIDNāT MISS YOU AT ALL YOU FUNKY ASS BITCH!!!
BRUH ANOTHER MIRACULOUS FOR REAL!!!
DAMN! Lmao Marinette trying to look tough thatās so funny to me! Who you trying to scare bitch cause you aināt fooling anyone. Bruh Gabriel really friendzoned Marinette for Adrien lmao! Omg I love that. Fuck. I hate Gabriel so much.
I DIDNāT KNOW KIGMA WAS GOING TO BE IN THIS EPISODE!! YAY! EW WTF DID SHE JUST KISS HIM! ARE YOU KIDDING! WAIT WHEN DID THEY GET TOGETHER!! WTF! I DONāT REMEMBER THIS!
Marinette you are so annoying. Whereās Ladybug?! SHEāS SO MUCH BETTER! HOLY SHIT ITāS LADYBUG! OK BUT THAT SCENERY LOOKS SO ROMANTIC! Wait yeah both of them are going to New York like who is going to protect the city?! Oh shit nvm Iām a dumbass hawk moth is going too. Lmao! Iām an idiot! Ok BUT THAT WEIRD BUTTON THING IS ADORABLE OMG!!! AWWW! LIKE WTF!! I WANT ONE! BRUH HOW CAN SHE NOT LIKE CHAT NOIR WTF IS WRONG WITH HER!!! GODAMNIT!
Gabriel really said Surprise bitch to Adrien lmao. Damn poor Gorilla. I canāt believe he still doesnāt have a fucking name godamnit. Lmao I love plagg. Ew god damnit fuck you GABRIEL!
OMG LUKAAAAA! Marinette fucking date him already wtf. He is literally biking your stupid ass to catch up to the bus. GOD LUKA DESERVES BETTER! Marinette you always fucking ruin the moment fuck you. Fuck you. AGAIN LUKA DESERVES BETTER! Luka honey no donāt look at her like that you deserve better. Flashback to the perks of being a wallflower quote, āWe accept the love we think we deserveā FUCK YOU BRAIN WHY YOU DO ME LIKE THIS!!
ALYA IS A TRUE FRIEND!!! Bro my friends would be laughing their ass off and making funny faces at the window instead of asking the teachers to stop the bus. HE WAS CARRYING HER SUITCASE TOO OMG! BRO LUKA HAS SOME STRONG ASS LEGS LIKE DAMN!!! Luka then says, āYou know whatās important Marinette, that this trip gives you some clarity.ā PLEASE GOD THAT SHE FALLS FOR CAT NOIR!!! PLEASE THAT SHE STARTS LIKING HIM!!! PLEASE! BITCH WHY KISS HIM ON THE CHEEK OMG WHY?! He likes you and you decide to kiss him on the cheek. Bro you are just making him fall for you more. Goddammit you are an idiot.
Bruh one look at Adrien and she becomes a tomato god damn. Am I being hard on Marinette cause she reminds me of me. NO WTF!!! Shut up! (At least Iām not a stalker or someone who gets obsessed with my crush in obnoxious ways.)
FUCK YOU CHLOE WE DIDNT WANT YOU TO COME YOU STUPID HOEEE!!!
I JUST REALIZED THIS IS A MOVIE!!! 12 minutes in and I just realized this is a movie. I AM AN IDIOT!!! God Iām so dumb lol. Ok this animation not gonna lie is kinda good.
He really yelled at Marinette in front of everybody in a plane huh. Thatās so funny. Also he sounded like such a jock like wtf was that. Lmao Alya and Nino just looking at them like yessss our ship!!! (Alya and Nino are such a mood) This movie is literally like a fucking fan fiction. Adrien, āOh yeah youāre sitting next to me!ā Marinette fucking panicking. Omg this is literally a fanfic. I canāt! I love this omg. I LOVE ALYA SO MUCH OMG!!! Did Marinette just call Adrien her husband. YOUāRE LIKE 14 SHUT UP!!! PLEASE!!! How can you confuse husband with friend. Ok this just confirms that Marinette constantly daydreams to herself and tells herself that Adrien is her husband. Girl, GIRL YOU DONāT EVEN KNOW HIM VERY WELL. SHEāS NOT EVEN IN LOVE SHEāS JUST FASCINATED WITH THE IDEA OF HIM. Ugh this is why I donāt like the idea of Marinette and Adrien or Ladybug and Adrien being together. Like she barely knows him and she counts that as love. Jesus. Lmao Gorilla has and will always ship Marinette and Adrien together. You can not change my mind.
Brooo if Marinette had a penis she would definitely have gotten a boner when Adrien fell on her. WHY IS MARINETTE LIKE THIS?! (Ok yes if my crush not that I have one but if I did I would probably do all the shit she is doing but I wouldnāt run away I would fucking just be in shock and freeze. Probably idk. THIS IS GIVING ME TO MUCH SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ACT NORMAL FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.) Did Alya just say that āNew York is the most romantic place in the world!ā AGAIN YOU LIVE IN PARIS!!! OH SHIT NVM. I paused it too soon. She continues by saying, āAfter Paris obviously.ā Ok my bad. Ok are we talking about the same New York cause New York isnāt that romantic. Then again what do I know. Marinette FUCK YOU!!! YOU COULD HAVE SAT WITH ADRIEN AND NOW YOU HAVE TO SIT WITH THE FUCKING PRINCIPLE. Lmao this is giving me fucking Spider-Man Far From Home flashbacks. Bro Adrien looks so disappointed. FUCK YOU MARINETTE! Bro gorilla is such a mood. Putting a 10 for both having a fear of flying and for needing relaxation. Wait why doesnāt he have eyebrows? I just realized that. I mean I knew but like I didnāt realize idk if that makes sense.
Dude the principal sleeping on Marinette THAT HAPPENED IN FAR FROM HOME!!! Wait a damn minute in Far From Home Peter lives in New York and goes somewhere in Europe (I forgot where) AND MARINETTE LIVES IN FRANCE AND SHE GOES TO NEW YORK!!! Not only that but these are both superhero movies and they are both in love with someone except here Marinette is trying to get over Adrien while Peter Parker was trying to win over MJ. OK SOMEONE ON THE CREATIVE TEAM LITERALLY WATCHED FAR FROM HOME AND SAID YES LETāS DO THIS BUT THE OPPOSITE. I CANāT THIS IS SO FUNNY!
AWWWW Alya and Nino sleeping on each other IS EVERYTHING!!! I SHIP THEM SO MUCH!!! IVAN AND MYLENE TOO!!! THEY REALLY WANT TO KILL ME HUH!? WAIT ROSE AND JUELKA FUCK YESSS THE GAYS ARE WINNING!!! MY MULTISHIPPER HEART CANāT TAKE THIS MUCH POWER ALL IN A MATTER OF SECONDS!!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!
Dude I literally thought she said shit for a second I WAS LIKE WHAT?! But she said shoot. I really hope thatās not toilet water on her shirt. MARINETTE YOU HAVE A NAPKIN? OR TOILET PAPER ON YOUR HAIR?! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF THERE?!
Awww the sunset is so pretty. And Adrien is going to come in 3 2 1. Right on time. Adrien, āIt's beautiful isnāt it?ā Iām expecting Marinette to say, āYeah but so are you.ā and immediately regretting afterwards. Nvm she trips on him instead. Should have seen that coming. Ok now they are looking out the window again. This frame would be so cute if she didnāt have that stupid Toilet paper in her hair. Bruh Adrien just stands next to her and doesnāt even mention the Toilet paper on her hair. Adrien be like, āYup just me and my fashionista friend Marinette looking at the window. Oh she has a piece of toilet paper in her hair. Damn must be a new trend I donāt know about. Thatās kinda sus cause I am a model but whatever she knows more about fashion then I do so itās all good.ā (Not an actual quote.) Damn Alya and Nino ship them so much. Ok but what a mood!
Adrien says, āYou're always willing to take a chance on something or someone even when no one else is.ā Yeah bruh itās because she is ladybug, I mean come on how do you not realize. Adrien really smirked at her whole shit! Adrien continues by saying, āYou got something Marinette.ā Marinette asks, āSomething?ā WAIT HOLD UP ISNāT HE DATING KAGAMI!!! WAIT IS MARINETTE A HOMEWRECKER!!! Iām kidding. Ok not really. Wait is Adrien a cheater like what?! Adrien continues by saying, āYeah there in your hair.ā He grabs the fucking piece of toilet paper. I LITERALLY FORGOT IT WAS THERE AND I BURST OUT LAUGHING!!! GOD I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!
Alya is a mood, āI canāt decide if they are the cutest people I know or the most embarrassing.ā Literally me whenever I watch Miraculous ladybug. Also this literally sounds like something fanfic Alya would say. Not canon Alya. But I really love how they let Alya say that. Good call team! Omg Nino continues with, āYeah I love Adrien but he is like a baby chick that just started cracking out of his egg he has a hard time understanding the signals people send them.ā THIS LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE A FANFIC AND I LOVE IT!!! OMG!!! I LOVE OPERATION NEW YORK OMG!!! YESSSSSSSS!!! ALYA AND NINO ARE LITERALLY OUR SAVIORS!!! GOD DAMN I LOVE THEM!!! ADRIEN HUGGED HER AWWWWW!!! I LOVE HIM!
THEREāS ANOTHER SUPER VILLAIN WTF!!! He really wants to kill the people huh. I mean he must be pure evil cause he literally is tearing the airplane apart. He really said: There's tons of people in this airplane huh. Welp I really need this technology so I guess they have to die!
DUDE WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GIRL? I canāt tell if she is a robot or a superhero! MAYBE BOTH!!! ALYA IS SUCH A SUPERHERO NERD I LOVE HER!!! OK this other girl superhero is literally captain marvel. Sheās not Majestia (idk if thatās how you spell it) nah sheās captain marvel. LMAO WHEN CAPTAIN MARVEL MAKES AN APPEARANCE IN THE MLB MOVIE AND DOESNāT HAVE THE AUDACITY TO HELP OUT PETER PARKER IN HIS FIELD TRIP!! DAMN!!! SHE REALLY SAID FUCK YOU PETER! MLB FANDOM NEEDS ME MORE THAT YOU DO!! LIKE GURL PETER IS HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN CAUSE HIS 3rd father figure died!!! Then again she is saving an airplane fool of people but Iām sure you could have made a quick stop to give Peter some advice but whatever.
God I hate the principal.
CAPTAIN MARVEL REALLY SAID I HAVE TO SAVE MY ROBOT WIFE FROM THAT BOMB!! And she fucking blew the bomb away from her face. DUDE THERE IS SO MANY NEW SUPERHEROES HOLY CRAP!!! Ok including the Captain Marvel and the robot thereās 2 more but thatās more than Paris soooooo. WAIT CAPTAIN MARVEL JUST CALLED HER ROBOT DARLING!!! I was joking, I didnāt think they were together. OK I SHIP IT! Captain Marvel, āAre you alright darling?ā (Giving me Spinderella and Netasha vibes not gonna lie) STOPPED IT TOO SOON!!! ROBOT JUST CALLED CAPTAIN MARVEL HER MOTHER!!! ABORT ABORT SHIP!!! I regret making all the comments that I just have made. So ignore them. I no longer ship them. Aw they have such a quote MOTHER AND DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP!!! They are hugging each other. Adorable.
Bruh Adrien and Marinette are talking openly to plagg and tikki like could you guys be more obvious. Like shut up.
So apparently thereās a superhero for everything in USA. Um I wish if there was USA wouldnāt be as shitty as it is now.
I love Nino and Alya, that's all Iām going to say.
Also the superheros have a code word for the French students and itās literally āthe little croissantsā I LOVE THAT OMG!!! WHO CAME UP WITH THAT CODE CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!ā
Ok turns out Robot girl can actually turn into a regular girl. SO THATāS COOL!
How is it possible that Adrien and Marinette canāt figure out how the doors work like what?! Ok why the fuck is Adrien constantly catching Marinette every time she falls. Like he isnāt even close to her and he fucking races and catches her. Right he obviously doesnāt like her. Yup I definitely believe that bullshit.
Lmao the robot girl took one look at dumbass Marinette and stupidass Adrien and said, āThose 2 are made for each other.ā Thatās so funny. Ok robot girl is friends with a girl that has some weird ass earrings (dare I say lesbian). And they both are in school so Iām pretty sure they are the same age. SO I SHIP THEM!!! Grumpy girlfriend and super happy robot girlfriend. ADORABLE!
Lmao they are already going to a party bruh. They just got off of a plane and they almost died. And youāre telling me that they arenāt slightly jet lagged or even a little tired. Bruh come on.
DAMN SABRINA IS GONNA GET A LOVE INTEREST OKKKKKKKK!!! He literally winked at her and she went bright red. DAMN GURL GET IT!!! CHLOE FUCK OFF!!! SABRINA IS GONNA GO FLIRT WITH THE GUY AND NOT BE YOUR STUPID ASSISTANT!!! FUCK YOU!!! GOD DAMNIT CHLOE, SABRINA, MARINETTE AND ALYA ARE ROOMATES BRUHHHHH!!! (And they were roommates- OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES NOT NOW BRAIN PLEASE)
Bro the teacher looks at the hallway and nods cause she notices that all the lights are off in the room and no one is talking and she leaves. And immediately all the doors open and everyone is sneaking off to the party. BROOO THIS REMINDS ME OF NHI LOL!!! So the teacher suddenly pops out and asks whatās that noise and they all go into different rooms. The teacher doesnāt notice. And of course Marinette goes into the room with Adrien but on accident, and for a second I thought she was touching his pee pee but no she was just touching his lower stomach lol. They both look at each other and Marinette gets flustered and Adrien smiles softly at her. And she immediately gets away from him and they end up in the same room as ROBOT GIRL AND HER LESBIAN GIRLFRIEND!!! Robot girl is shipping them so hard while her girlfriend is glaring at them.
HER GIRLFRIEND CAN PLAY GUITAR YESSSSS!!!
SABRINA GO TO THE PARTY PLEASE!!! DITCH CHLOE!!! FLIRT WITH THE AMERICAN!!! THE AMERICAN IS FUCKING STANDING OUTSIDE THE WINDOW!!! WAITING FOR HER OMG!!! He takes her hand AND TAKES HER TO THE ROOF PARTY!!! FUCK I SHIP THEM SO HARD!!!
Omg the dialogue in this movie is fucking amazing. Marinette says, āIs it a bird?ā Adrien, āIs it a plane?ā Sabrinaās soon to be boyfriend, āNo ITāS HOT DOG DAN!ā Like bitch why is the hot dog cart flying like wtf?! Dude is this how French people see Americans because you know what?! THAT SOUNDS about right. If USA ever gets superheroās we PROBABLY WOULD HAVE A SUPERHERO WHO SERVES FUCKING HOT DOGS!!! Damn this movie is pretty fucking realistic. The Americans are fucking thirsty for some hot dogs they literally run over Adrien and Marinette like damn ok yes a lot of Americans like hot dogs but we arenāt animals. Turns out the hot dogs are magical. ROSE LITERALLY GOT SUPER STRENGTH AND WAS ABLE TO LIFT UP IVAN!!! QUEEN!!! AW Sabrina got long ass hair like Rapunzel but itās brown for some reason.
Thereās 2 hot dogs left and Nino take initiative and pays for the hot dog and says, āNot a problem. My girl and I can have one and you 2 can have the other.ā Damn this really is a fanfic huh. Then again I doubt a fanfic would have them sharing a fucking magical hot dog. Lol! This movie is nuts. They ate the hot dogs (nvm they took a bite of the hotdog and they dropped it on the floor) and they started floating. They grab hands and they are trying not to freak out.
Meanwhile ALYA AND NINO ALL THE FUCKING GET IS THESE HIGH PITCHED VOICES LIKE BRUH. Also Nino ships them so much omg! BRUH HOT DOG DAN EVEN SHIPS THEM! I mean he doesnāt say anything he just looks at them and smiles.
Omg Alya asked Robotās girlfriend to set the mood with a song! And Robotās girlfriend is like yeah sure thing. This movie is surreal.
THE SONG IS LITERALLY THE SONG THAT THEY DANCED TOO AT CHLOEāS PARTY OMG!!! I canāt believe I remembered that.
Bruh Adrien literally just repeated what I typed. HE JUST ASKED MARINETTE IF SHE COULD DANCE WITH HIM!!! They are floating and the moon is shining bright on them (Nice job Yue; setting the scene for us I see) and he extends his hand. She starts floating backwards cause sheās freaking out (What a surprise š). He grabs her hand and brings her closer to him. WHAT FANFIC AUTHOR WAS ABLE TO GET A FUCKING HIGH BUDGET TO MAKE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE THIS DOESNT FEEL LIKE AN MLB EPISODE!!!
ALSO Marinette is looking at Adrien in a way that makes her look like a Tim burton cartoon character lol. SHE FINALLY GIVES IN AND DANCES WITH HIM IN FRONT OF THE MOON!!! (They arenāt even dancing to be honest they are literally just hugging each other really closely and spinning) BUT ITS ADORABLE SO I FORGIVE THEM!
Lmao they zoom out of the roof party and you just see in the fucking corner Kim and some other dude having a push-up contest. They showed that in the beginning when Alya, Nino, Marinette and Adrien were entering the party. I just wasnāt expecting that in this whole time Kim and the other guy still continued the push-up contest omg. (This is the first 29 minutes and my hand is tired sooo Iām not gonna write anymore)
If anyone wants me to continue I will but I doubt anybody is going to see this post so yeah! Anyway if someone actually read this PROPS TO YOU DUDE!!! HOPE I DIDNT WASTE YOUR TIME!!! HAVE A GOOD YEAR!!!
Edit: I think Robot girl and girl with weird earrings are sisters soooooo I donāt ship them anymore. (Iām honestly really confused are they siblings or not?!)
#mlb spoilers#mlb#miraculous ladybug#shit post#Marinette#marinette dupain cheng#please donāt take this seriously#this is just me messing around#adrein agreste#shit I forgot their ship names#thatās how long I havenāt been in this fandom omg#ok letās hope I donāt fuck this up#adrinette#ladrien#cat bug#is that even ladybugās and Car noirās ship name#oh shit no it isnāt#ladynoir#Nino#Alya#fuck gabe#fuck Gabriel agreste#fuck Lila
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Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World
Find Thor 1 here
Find Avengers 1 here
This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, Iām writing this on my computer where the I and U keys donāt work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.
Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki
Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction werenāt tagged sry
Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long
~ āHello Mother. Have I made you proud?ā
~ āPlease donāt make things worseā āDefine worseā
~ āI really donāt see what all the fuss is aboutā
~ āJust like youā
~ *That smile!!!!*
~ āIāve got this completely under control!ā āIs that why everythingās on fire?ā
~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: āAll yoursā
~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*
~ āI accept your surrenderā
~ āAnyone else?ā *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*
~ āPerhaps next time we should START with the big oneā
~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)
~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*
~ *Date: hi*
~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*
~ āAnd the fact that she kept sleeping with other menā āNO!ā
~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*
~ *Darcy mouthing āCuteā to Jane about Richard*
~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*
~ āIs there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of thisā
~ āThatās what I said!ā
~ āThatās what I did!ā
~ āHeās not interestedā āIām interestedā (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)
~ āHeās my intern.ā āYou have an intern?ā
~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*
~ āI have totally mastered driving in London!ā *Has not mastered it at all*
~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*
~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian āInternā*
~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didnāt wanna shout*
~ God I fucking love Darcy sheās so criminally underrated
~ āI am not getting stabbed in the name of scienceā
~ āItās okay, weāre Americans!ā āIs that supposed to make them like us?ā
~ āWeāre scientists-well I amā āThanksā
~ āThat doesnāt seem rightā
~ āI wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!ā
~ *Jane ignores Darcy*
~ āGive me your shoeā
~ āWere those the car keys?ā
~ *Ianās face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*
~ *If you have to bury so many people then youāre doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean thatās basically what Heimdall said right?)
~ āTypicalā *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*
~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*
~ āAs excuses go, its not terribleā
~ āI knowā āYou do?ā āDo what?ā
~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*
~ āUm Iām pretty sure we are getting arrestedā
~ āHowās space?ā āSpace is fineā
~ āHeās my internā¦ My internās internā
~ āHoly shit!ā (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)
~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*
~ āWe have to do that againā
~ āHelloā
~ āWhatās that?ā
~ āItās a soul forgeā *No Iām pretty sure thatās a quantum field generator*
~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*
~ āYou told your dad about me?ā
~ āIt must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and nightā
~ āPlease meet my motherā *Jane shies away from Thor*
~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is
~ Lord, heās so damn pretty
~ *Kurse being like: Lol I aināt touchinā that boy with a ten foot pole*
~ āItās as if they resent being in prisonā
~ āThereās no pleasing some creaturesā
~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*
~ āYou have my word that no harm will come to yo-ā nvm bitch die
~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*
~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odinās bs lies*
~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*
~ āWITCH!!!!ā *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*
~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*
~ *Selvig then using pencils*
~ āAny questions?ā āYeah, can I have my shoe back?ā
~ āWhatās SHIELD?ā āItās a secretā
~ *Darcyās cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*
~ āAre you sure you wouldnāt just rather punch your way out?ā
~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*
~ āMmm Brother, you look ravishingā
~ āCostumes a bit muchā
~ āSo tight!ā
~ āI can FEEL the righteousness surging!!ā
~ āHEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?ā
~ āHonor?ā
~ āPatriotism?ā
~ āGOD BLESS AMERICA!ā
~ āAt last. A little common sens-āBitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean thatās not what he said?)
~ āI thought you liked tricksā
~ āIām Loki, you may have heard of-ā SLAP
~ āThat was for New Yorkā
~ āI like herā
~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*
~ āBetray him, and Iāll kill you.ā āItās good to see you too Sifā
~ āIf you even think about betraying him-ā āYouāll kill me? Evidently there will be a lineā
~ āI thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.ā āI said how hard can it be?ā
~ āWhatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.ā āShut up Loki
~ āYou mustāve missed something.ā āI didnāt, Iām pressing every button on this thingā
~ āWell donāt hit it. Just press it, gently.ā āI aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!ā
~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*
~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*
~ āI think you missed a column.ā āShut upā
~ āWhy donāt you let me take over? Iām clearly the best pilotā
~ *Bitch Iām the one who can actually fly*
~ āOh dear. Is she dead?ā
~ *Thor knocks over a column* āNot a wordā
~ āNow theyāre following usā
~ āNow theyāre firing at usā
~ āYes thank you for the commentary Loki, itās not at all distractingā
~ āWell done, you just decapitated your grandfatherā
~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*
~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*
~ āYou lied to me. Iām impressedā
~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*
~ āFor Asgard!ā YEET
~ āNothing personal boys!ā
~ āIf it were easy, everyone would do itā
~ āAre you mad?ā āPossiblyā
~ āTADAAAā
~ āOh yeah, my father. Eric Selvigā
~ āAnd theseā āyeahā¦ thoseā
~ āHow did you find me?ā āYou were naked on televisionā
~ āI donāt get paid enough. I donāt get paid at allā
~ āWhatās happening? Birds? Birds are happening?ā
~ āAll right are you ready?ā āI amā
~ *phone rings* āItās not meā
~ āWhy are there so many shoes in here?ā
~ āIāll just text herā
~ āSo whoās Richard?ā
~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*
~ āWhere are your pants?ā āOh he says it helps him thinkā
~ āLoki is deadā āOh thank God!ā
~ āBetter get my pantsā
~ āDo you even know what these things do?ā āNoā āā¦Neither do Iā
~ āOoh get the guy with the sword!ā
~ āOopsā
~ *Ianās high-pitched scream*
~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*
~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*
~ *The two of them against windows*
~ *AAAHHH*
~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! Heās so adorable I wanna pet him so much!ā
~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*
~ āDarcy?ā āJane!ā āIan?ā āSelvig.ā
~ āMyuh Myuh!!ā
~ *Thor ends up on the subway*
~ *The girl taking 50 photos*
~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*
~ āIāve come to accept your surrenderā
~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now thatās some lovely karma right there*
~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*
~ āHe kinda committed treason on our way outā oops
~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds
Wow Iām so sorry this was so long. But guess what? Itās gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.
So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesnāt. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they āplayed together and fought togetherā for several millennia. Of course thereās not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldnāt be. The climax at the end of the movie isnāt supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. Itās supposed to be tragic that heās having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is āYouāre an amazon liar brother, always have beenā āItās good to have you backā. Thereās nothing else till the end credit scene. Thatās because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.
Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And Iām not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I canāt think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.
However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesnāt take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And Iām not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, Iād go with Thor 1. Because itās actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odinās shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that couldāve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didnāt want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.
Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that itās so long
#dr badass jane foster#anti ragnarok#anti thor ragnarok#my meta#thor the dark world#thor 2#thor#loki
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might fuck around and make a list of tonyās alters*!! right now. why not. its hard to differentiate but i could take some stabs in the dark. ok this got long so its under a cut.
mark aside (because ive said enough about him), thereās at least the two who look young, no surprise. thereās probably at least one more young one (younger, with more focus on home/family/howard trauma) but he wouldnāt be relevant to this whole... plot, anyway. but we do see one who looks to be in boarding school, so under 15, and a slightly older one who still looks ~young, i want to say 17-20ish?? and heās veryĀ ālook how fine and okay we are! our life is awesome!ā but is literally in a racing suit as if fast cars arenāt somewhere he gravitates mid breakdown. i love that for him. very in character.Ā
thereās also uhh. cave!tony, actively bandaged. he absolutely never left the cave, and wont. theres no... yknow. thereās no adjusting to that thatās a clean split kind of thing. i dont know how long 616 was in the cave but iām assuming also a couple of months?? like mcu?? more than long enough to end up with a permanent split who canāt really... i mean we all know he didnāt like. get therapy. he cant reintegrate. heās probably either the old host whoĀ ādiedā in the cave, or he split in that environment, but either way, he doesnāt make it out.Ā
thereās at least two iron man splits, the sort of... early grey one and the red&gold one are shown, and i dont know enough about early comics canon to make a guess at why theyāre distinct, exactly, but iām guessing some sort of near-death-or-actual-death event that puts a nice clean line in between them. or a team change, could be less dramatic than that? unless the grey oneās JUST the mark I, in which case nvm because the difference then is obvious. escape vs be a hero, youād need two. notably theres not a super modern iron man split shown, iām assuming once he stopped doing the secret identity thing that stopped being a split type heād need, but prior to that heād need an active, functional iron man split at all times. and heās got at least the two. (whether or not you want to call mark an iron man split... shrugs! heās not quite the same tho, since his job is not to pilot the suit, necessarily.)Ā
thereās an actively drunk one, and heās an important split, because heās obviously going to hold onto a lot of the desire to drink/etc. i know tony does theĀ ākeep a bottle nearby to figure out how bad heās doingā thing but honestly thatās also aĀ āhow close is this tonyā meter, imo. heās necessary but heās also, generally, possible to keep away. if heās holding onto the majority of that impulse itād be, honestly... well i think itād look like the way tony approaches his alcoholism actually (and the whole crown meant specifically to control, yknow, hulk, in ts:im? was also clearly aimed at this one, on tonyās end.)Ā
weāve got this very coherent seeming business-y tony also, who iād peg asĀ āThe Tony Starkā -- as in, the face, the name, the one whoāsĀ āon.ā especially in the early days when theĀ āhostā tony was drinking, having a split whos job is company things, PR things, etc, thatās going to go a long way. he seems like that, but iām stabbing in the dark. i could be missing sth obvious.Ā
weāve also got the one in eScape in ts:im who doesnāt show up on the page in im2020 but because the kid shows up in both, iām really... willing to extend this to him also. he has no reason to show up re: mark anyway but he seems coherent and specific and extremely out of time. probably an old host but cut after the alcoholism spiraled out of control? since he clearly drinks without much concern. but, fwiw, he doesnāt seem to line up totally cleanly with anyĀ ārealā time period, and was actively being manipulated by motherboard, so...? i dont know.Ā
iād argue thereās also The One Who Died In Civil War II but he wouldnāt show up in this whole convincing-mark thing because. well. heāsĀ ādead.ā like hes in there but heās Deactivated, so to speak. host change.Ā
the new tony, post-mark, is someone distinct! new host. but a shaky one so far and i think this tracks with what iāve read of iron man vol 6 also (which is only whats on MU), tony has no idea what he wants or what heās doing but heās trying a bunch of things, that are all very different from what he was doing before but also falling back on things that are familiar, like hosting big parties, even when itās incompatible with his new goals. this would track with it being a whole host-switch since pre-CWII and post-mark tony are just... not going to be the same person, imo.Ā
i am on the fence a little about if ts:im tony and IM vol6 tony are the same person or not, and i was leaning towardsĀ āyesā because i feel like ts:im tony didnāt have enough time to stabilize, like, there were too many breakdown events happening in rapid succession while mark was building up in the background. but he had a relationship with jan that was going well, he was really trying with the eScape, etc, so i want to give him that distinctness, at least, and IM vol6 tony also did the thing where he changes his appearance up a bunch, which is kind of a red flag for host changes, especially... right after the year-long interruption that was markās whole... thing.Ā
iād have to read a LOT more comics to say any more than this, because iām sure iām missing some obvious ones who should exist but arenāt present/relevant re: mark. but. here are some of my thoughts anyway!!!! tony& gives me life.Ā
#speaking of issues#*or word of your choice. headmates/system members/etc i'm using alters here because its a personal preference but i dont mean anything by i#infinite serotonin from DID tony!!!#this is a tag now i just use. repeatedly.#but its TRUE.
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episode 18 thoughts
so i decided i wanted to watch this duel all in one day, so thatās why i wasnāt around yesterday~ tomorrow is the last day of my break before starting my new job, so hopefully i can work out a new schedule for this after i get used to it.
enough about that though!! this is one of my favorite duels in all of vrains, so iām super pumped to be rewatching it! this one gets pretty heavy though, be warned lol
the episode starts out with akira explaining what heās just learned...
and man, part of the reason i love this duel so much is because of how they absolutely nailed playmakerās expressions. i wonāt go into too much detail, but iāve been in a...somewhat similar situation, where there was someone who for whatever reason believed they understood what i had gone through and should just let them handle everything, while not understanding part of my healing process was handling it myself. the idea of giving up my control over certain things was completely out of the question, and thatās part of what makes this duel was great to me. playmaker perfectly illustrates those thoughts and feelings.
iām sure iāll talk a lot about that throughout the next few posts, but iāll stop myself there for the time being lol.Ā
anyways,
this was already hinted to us, the viewers, but not to any of the characters really, so i love how shocked kusanagi is. big businesses are generally pretty shady, but the LI is obviously in a different league lol. it makes sense that he was surprised.
and hereās one of my biggest reasons for disliking akira initially. i think he does grow as a character, but to be honest with yāall, iām still not overly fond of him lol. i love his relationship with aoi, i appreciate his growth, but man.
the fact that he saw any of that data and was like,Ā ānah, better not let the kid who was used for this project see any of the data. nvm the fact that he is searching it out on his own, so clearly itās important to him, but he shouldnāt have to worry about this. i can do itā just.Ā
iāve seen a few people say that they like akira for this, and i wonāt disagree that itās a realistic way to react. but playmaker is right. he has the right to learn what he went through. why he went through it.
then we get:
itās still a bit weird to see everyone in vrains questioning this when iām so used to the concept and to the characters being used to it, lol. but itās nice to see that train of thought continued. they all have time to come to terms with it, just like we, the viewers, do. itās cool.
but then akira continues to be an idiot:
and like, honestly. i donāt think heās doing anything horrible. i donāt think heās being mean. i think heās being stupid lmao. he obviously does care, just... doesnāt know how to handle this kind of situation. heās so used to handling everything, taking care of aoi, and even in his former position he had employees that worked under him, so it makes sense. but heās not the only capable person around, and he needs to let others handle their own issues.
and also, is it any wonder why playmaker doesnāt let akira take care of it? besides all of the obvious, heās just gotten confirmation that the company he works for had something to do with the lost incident, lmao.
seriously, people knock on vrains for a lot of things, and like, you do you man. if this show wasnāt your fave, thatās cool. not everything is gonna jive with everyone and thereās nothing wrong with that!
but vrains really, really does this right. i love and will always love how it handles yusakuās trauma through the series, and i genuinely feel blessed that we got him as a ygo protag.
but on yusakuās last point, they agree to duel:
i hate to break it to you, ai, but youāre in a ygo show. you donāt really have a choice LOL
i also really love how kusanagi is handled in these eps. heās not a victim, not in the same way his brother or yusaku were involved, but he was still deeply effected. how could he not be? he basically gave up his life to become a hacker and try to figure out what happened to his brother so he could help him. he had to watch as his once sweet little brother became a shell of a person, and nothing he did could stop it.
but anyways, something sad in a different way for a sec:
i, of course, immediately thought of the final duel and how yusaku finished the duel with decode talker. that....really hurt to hear with that context lol.Ā
ow, my heart.
but at least aiās also got some non-depressing lines to break things up a little:
seriously lmao what is duelsick??? i always wondered why it bothered him so much lol
but this episode is very depressing so that didnāt last long, whoops. we get to find out next about akira and aoiās upbringing:
but hereās the thing: this is so, so different. itās why playmaker and kusanagi get so angry and lash out. i am not at all denying that what akira and aoi lived through was terrible. they had it really rough, and it clearly hurt them both and changed how they view the world and live in general.Ā
but he literally just looked through the LI files he knows at least somewhat how different these situations are, in fact, he literally says that he doesnāt know the pain playmaker endured.Ā
my own personal feelings aside, this is a great look into akiraās character. just like with his own little sister, he has a hard time relating to otherās problems. he has a hard time understanding how theyāre feeling, glancing at something and thinking he knows whatās best. itās consistent with everything weāve seen from him so far, and while it makes it easy for me to dislike him, i completely understand why people really liked him and his development.Ā
he was never a bad person. just a misguided person trying to help when he shouldnāt have, or shouldāve done differently. his heart is truly in the right place, and yusaku even acknowledges that:
and itās good to see that by the end of the series, he and aoi can finally fight together, understanding each other. and iām really happy about that.
i really do love their relationship. theyāre great siblings, even if theyāre not related by blood. itās really rare to see such caring step siblings in media, so iām really happy we got them!!
but also, talk about a smack in the face. i wonāt let this six year old be unhappy, he explains to the person who, as a six year old, was kidnapped and tortured for six months as he hides the explanation of that event from them. lmao. but this emotional investment i have is what makes this such a good duel for me! itās so high stakes, and the voice acting is so on point. i love.Ā
obviously, though, neither kusanagi nor playmaker take that very well:
i remember sitting on my couch, watching this episode for the first time, and just being blown away by this scene. itās so powerful. every time i rewatch this, i am still amazed and i can feel my heart pound lmao. itās not very often we see playmaker get this emotional, which definitely makes this impact greater, but the same for kusanagi.
heās a much more expressive character, but while heās serious about his job of helping yusaku, heās more laid back in every day situations. and even while heās on the job, he often smiles. to see that kind of character in this kind of a fury makes for a really, really big impact.
i love this. it so perfectly sums up that feeling, why someone would get so angry in this kind of situation. i could talk all day about it, but i have a few other episodes of this duel and iāve been writing this post for like 40 minutes lol
i wonder if this is also in reference to her own brother situation? i felt like that reveal... didnāt exactly come out of nowhere, most people had guessed it by the time they dueled -- as had i -- but it was definitely rushed imo. i liked their development a lot, donāt get me wrong, but i think it wouldāve been cool if sheād like... mentioned it, a few times beforehand. i suppose this could be taken that way, though i definitely hadnāt thought about it that way before haha
also, the dueling in this episode is great. i love the pacing of this duel. even without all the emotional stuff thatās done so well, i think iād still enjoy just watching this duel because itās solid all around.Ā
thatās all iāve got for this one, but iām gonna start episode 19 in just a little bit!
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Ok I need to know your thoughts about this Green Book mess
... pray for me anon XD
anyway, never mind that my general thought is that Iām really sad the mule didnāt compete this round because then itād have deserved all the awards hands down........
tldr: the fact that people are outraged is the proof that tumblr at large canāt recognize classism when it hits you in the face.
in longer words: 95% of the hot takes Iām reading are Patently False And It Shoes People Havenāt Seen That Movie.
in much longer words: counting that I havenāt seen allĀ the nominees but I did see both blakkk/lansman (which from now will be BKKK) and blackpanther and green book (and borap but that one wasnāt gonna win best movie anyway so) and I guess thatĀ is where the crux is, so, in order.
bkkk was obviouslyĀ the best movie of the lot quality speaking. in an ideal world, it wouldĀ have one. except that bkkk is a movie thatās heavilyĀ political and if yāall think that the oscars would give a prize to the heavily political movie that directly criticizes the administration in power then yāall missed the part where thatās not what happens at the oscars. last time it happened it was 1978 and the deer hunter won and I still donāt know wtf was the juryās state of grace at that point, but in 1980 they had apocalypse now in the list and kramer vs kramer won. like. guys. if you have APOCALYPSE NOW on the list and anything else wins in the major categoriesĀ then youāre a joke. and tbh it surprises me that spike l/ee is stillĀ hoping he might snag a major win thatās not for screenplay with these parameters - theyāre notĀ gonna go there. hasnāt happened sinceĀ ā78. come on;
bp was not a best movie flick. like, guys: itās not even the best mcu film around as far as Iām concerned and while it most likely deserved the technical awards..... seriously? like. if neither GB nor bkkk won then any other movie on the list had better shots than bp. I canāt even think people seriouslyĀ assume it was best movie material or ON PAR WITH BKKK as in,Ā āif bkkk doesnāt win then THAT ONE should have wonā. like, no;
now: green book was a *safe* pick in the sense that it wasnāt as heavy-handed as bkkk when it came to be political so it was the perfect choice if they wanted to go likeĀ āoh hey see we gave the award to the movie about racism without giving it to the one raising the middle finger to donald trumpā, butĀ differently from moon/light (which according to me was the most political political win of the last ten years like guys sorry that movie was nowhere near as good as people said back then and I found it incredibly overrated, and before you tell me that itās because I didnāt understand it: exactly the point. the wire is one of my fave shows ever and it tacked all the things moon/light tried toĀ except that it did it vastly better and I actually got it for how well it was written, moon/light completely failed in that sense and Iām glad if it was a good movie for the people it was directed to but it didnāt engage beyond that target imvho but never mind that) it actually tackled very wellĀ a series of issues I never see discussed in US cinema when it comes to *racism-themed* movies and I thought it was a really well-made movie that nailed a lot of things especiallyĀ when it came to how classism and racism interject themselves in the discourse and how you donāt get out of discarding one of them so easily.
specifically, with SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE under the cut SO GO AHEAD AT WILL OR NOT:
now: all the postsĀ āthis is the usual movie about the white guy who gets the black friendā already are obviously from people who havenāt seen it because they missed the basic point, as in: that the white guy is poor and uneducated and isnāt *racist* because heās a terrible person, he is out of ignorance and not knowing any better BUT at the same time heās not so narrow-minded that he doesnāt have fairly forward opinions on other -ismsĀ (see THAT REVEAL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE after which he goes likeĀ āIāve been a bouncer in most of new yorkās night clubs do you think I mind that thingā which is a thing the audience wouldnāt have thought since italian-american men from the 50s/60s notoriouslyĀ came from a fairly -PHOBIC culture in that specific sense), and that the guy being italian-american ie a *white* category that back then did notĀ have *white privilege* put him in a lowerĀ class position than the black guy;
on the other side, it was spelled that the black guyās issue was the contraryĀ in the sense that heās rich, heās cultured, he speaks five languages, heās not a stereotypeĀ and since people want stereotypes or expect them, he canāt seem to please either side and feels alienated from both, which I think is a discourse that should be way more relevant in a website where people talk all the time about people of color not being stereotypesĀ and so on;
like the entire fucking point of that movieĀ is that white guy overcomes his racism unlearning his ignoranceĀ and black guy has a few realizations about how classism works and reconnects with his heritage throughout the entire thing;
and the fact that it was the black guyĀ explaining the white guyĀ how to write the poetic love letters without grammar mistakes and got him to appreciate finer things in life while the white guy helped him get down to earth (which he plot-wise definitelyĀ needed - he was unhappy af before XD) *and* at the same time the movie never fucking forgot that skin color > money when it comes to systematical racism in the southĀ (ie the scene where they get stopped by the southern policeman and white guy punches him bc he basically told him that being italian-american was being half-the-n-word and black guy tells himĀ āyeah well I handled that my entire life you could deal with it onceā was FAIRLY DAMNED OBVIOUS even if it also showed that itās Not How Things Should Go) was imvo a very good narrative choice/balancing;
also, I was reallyĀ appreciating that scene where don asks tony (a guy who has no idea who orpheus is and thinks orpheus and eurydice is about orphans) to shorten his name because vallelunga is too difficult to pronounce and tonyās likeĀ āif the people you play for are so cultured they can learn to pronounce my name properlyā because like guys thatās a thing that happens with allĀ non-anglophone names and seeing it come from someone who hasnātĀ had an education but doesnāt want to be *made better* because that doesnāt make them unworthy and then only accepts help when he wantsĀ it and doesnāt come from a position ofĀ āyou need to look more presentableā but fromĀ āI want to make your life betterā was really fucking niceĀ excuse me, because it *did* make a point about how not being formally educated means that people are considered lesser when they shouldnāt have to fight for it, and I thought that the class-switch in there was a really great idea;
anyway nvm my specific opinions about specific scenes, the point is: green book is notĀ heavy-handed and admittedly is a lot more sugary than BKKK and has the feel-good ending that makes it palatable for easy wins, butĀ the content is fucking everything but sugaryĀ or devoid of discussing Serious Issues that I almost never see tackled in this kind of US movie and if people actually wanted to watch a movie that sees the subject counting that class relations exist, that some -isms are culturally learned and can be overcome, that money counts when weāre discussing how people are treated in the US, the *earned whiteness* concept (because tony is *white* but hasnāt *earned whiteness* and itās plenty damned obvious) and that class relations are not automatically clear-cut *especially in the US*Ā then green book is an absolutely valid choice. and like...... it wasnāt white saviorism in the sense that WHITE GUY GETS REDEEMED AND BECOMES UN-RACIST, itās about two people growing and learning from each otherĀ and the fact that tonyās racism is tied to a) upbringing while being poorĀ b) not literally knowing any betterĀ but that it doesnāt really take that much for him to see that his opinions are wrong when usually itās poor black person vs rich white person, and actually thatās why I thought calling it reverse driving miss daisy was reaaaally not getting the point, so if people actually saw the damned movie before deciding itās terrible thatād be nice;
I also think sp/ike lee was beyond rude in his, er, reactions to GBās win, but then again... listen guys I love the manās movies but since that time he went likeĀ āclint eastwood canāt make movies about charlie parkerā (??) and dismissed the italian partisansās associations complains about what he did in miracle in st. anna (a movie I didĀ actually really like but they were right about him villainizing the resistence when he could have not) with basically I DONāT CARE THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE ISSUES WITH HOW I, AN AMERICAN, DEPICTED A FAIRLY IMPORTANT PIECE OF ITALIAN HISTORY... like he needs to chill and to realize that thereās a thing called losing with grace and heās not doing it.
tldr: bkkk imvo deserved to win wayĀ more and tbqh if I was spike Iād complain about bp having gotten more awards than his movie when bp reallyĀ is the safest choice ever if we wanna talk about politics win, and I can agree that GB was a political choice, but it was notĀ a bad political choice nor a racist one andĀ actually it raised a lot of issues that Iād like to see explored more in movies because they usually arenāt. on top of that I thought mahershala aliās performance in gb was fucking stellarĀ and definitely was miles better than his part in moonlight (but like... bc he was in moonlight for TWENTY MINUTES, he was co-lead here) and Iām honestly baffled that when he won for moonlight there were gifsets everywhere and here there arenāt when this role was WAY better and more nuanced and with more to chew, never mind that again, he deserved it just for the speech under the rain I was discussing before. but like..... of course weāre all ignoring it??
also: Iām reallyĀ laughing that tumblrĀ as a whole is crying about GB winning when until two days ago bkkk was the worst thing ever because adam dr/iver starred in it and OMG OF COURSE HE WAS CHOSEN TO PLAY THE KKK MEMBER BECAUSE HE REALLY IS RACIST [lmao as if spike l/ee would work with a really racist person] and no one on this website gave a single fuck about it when it came out except for adam dr/iver fan blogsĀ but now everyone is like OMG WHY DIDNāT BKKK WIN???!!!!! like guys you didnāt care about BKKK until a day agoĀ and now Iām supposed to think you were rooting for it all along? when you all hated it because omg how dare they cast ky/lo ren in something where heās not a bad guy? like we serious? come the fuck on, no one on here cared. and the fact that if blackpanther had won no one would say BKKK not winning = UTTERMOST CRIME just says all about how a filmās quality is judged around here. bye, I said my piece.
#1#2#3#4#5#k i said i was gonna shut up but#fuck all i'm really tired of seeing people dissing gb without having seen it#bye#Anonymous#ask post
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This is the first Duggar courtship I have been excited about since Jinger and Jeremy. I think it is because John David and Abbie both have had careers and some life experience before committing to a relationship that is very likely to lead to marriage quickly.
It is something other than teenage marriage from kids who barely held it together long enough for their homeschool diploma. Also, her sisters seem very into decorating at their weddings, so we might get to see a whole different wedding, not same old same old Ms Cindy style. And I am sure at 26 y.o. she wonāt let the Duggar clan steamroll her like Kendra did who is barely out of her diapers.
YES, I read that too. @duggardataā I am sure the whole fundie tumblr wants to know what their chances are of having twins. Unfortunately I am not sure if the girls are fraternal or paternal. From the looks of it none of the girls look identical, so my guess would be fraternal same sex twins like Jer and Jed.
Edit: I found old pics and they donāt look identical, just like normal sisters, so Iād say fraternal.
(At the Bontragerās house:)
Mh.... nvm the more I look at them the more identical they look to me.... Back to square one.
Oh noā¦. letās hope they donāt feel the need to evangelize through thatā¦.btu they probably will.
OMG halfway thorugh I realized that this post will be sooo long, I am sorry I will have to shorten it. Read more below:
Imagine the dry spell he went through since the beginning of puberty. Itās astounding that he does not have to carry his blue balls in a wheelbarrow. Sorry for the mental pic LOL
I was surprised too to see him so lively and very obviously physically into her. Thatās a side he kept well hidden on CO so far.
We have yet to see a pic of Abbie wearing pants, but three of her sisters wear jeans.
I think heāll be more chill and sheāll wear pants in the not too far future with her single sisters already wearing them.
True LOL!!
I donāt think he lurks on tumblr, but IIRC more than one news outlet picket up the sentence as well and the fundies have been known to follow their stories there.
Definitely not just you:
From reddit/FJ.
IKR? It is so unusual for a Duggar bride!Ā
SAME!! OMG that would be hella refreshing! But dare I say it? I think our hopes are wasted.
Nice!! Canāt wait to see how this unfolds. I am so chuffed to see a girl with a real job in the Duggar family. Letās see how long she gets to keep it.
Ah no, I hated their dresses. I hope she gets styling advise from her younger twin sisters, Maggie especially seems quite stylish.
Abbie has 8 siblings, you can find ages and names here from an old blog entry. She was bornĀ fourth and was homeschooled with the same ATI programm as the Duggar kids. You can find out a little more about her extended family on the fundie wikia: http://fundamentalists.wikia.com/wiki/Burnett_Family and a little more about her here: http://fundamentalists.wikia.com/wiki/Abbie_Burnett
I agree, although it seemed to me that she was slightly irritated about the whole ordeal which we couldnāt blame her for. But saying that, thatās the first ever video we have seen of her, maybe thatās just her personality.
I agree, their strict rules seem even more ridiculous in their case. Well, we will probably get another honeymoon baby with the amount of desire JD had in his eyes looking at her. (Also thanks so much for your love!!) I donāt think they will ābreakā any of the usual courtship rules, maybe just stretch them like Jeremy and Jinger.
I would like to keep the double wedding theories alive please. Weāll never know, itās possible that Jana announces a courtship tomorrow. Never forget what Anna said to Joy a few years ago: Once you are over 18 you will always be only 6 months away from a wedding.
^^ Wasnāt me previous anon, I swear!!!
Here ya go:
I donāt remember, but maybe they have been talking since then!
He is probably doesnāt know what to do with himself atm.
I agree, I love that about her. She has actually some kind of independence!
Most likely he has! You need to be our spy LOL!
Right?! If you watch fundies as a hobby you really shouldnāt have a real life. Especially with them multiplying like bunnies now.
I mean I canāt tell you you are wrong but my gut says no. In the video the way he leans into her and stares with lust at her he would have to be a real good actor.
She comes from a very fundie family but she has a real job and her sisters wear pants, so she might turn out like Whit. Remember Zach and JD are very close, so maybe JD had someone like Whit in mind when he was looking for his special woman.
Yeah I think after the scandlad it needed one male Duggar to start a relationship to get the others hooked again.
YOU are obsessed? You do know you are talking to a blog owner solely dedicated to them LOL I am happy that she is older too, maturity can be worth so much in a marriage!
She grew up in the same cirles as him but the females are allowed to wear pants even before marriage. So we will see how strictly fundie she really is. I think we will be able to tell from the wedding dress.
Longest post in history I think. Jobbie, you almost broke fundie tumblr. (Annie)
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HI!!! i like to request ALL of the flowery asks! btw i LOVE ur blog and maybe u????? idk šøšø (jk i love u alot)
who is this????????/ under cut bc i get ramblyĀ
azalea: whatās one word that describes you?
lame lmao
babyās breath: what did you want to be when you were a kid?
honestly? my answerās like yours jen because i wanted to be an astronaut but also a vet and then a few years later i wanted to be something else of a whole different profession but now i know what reality is like and i have no clue what i wanna be whoops
begonia: are you a messy or clean person?
i hate seeing my desk/workspace be messy but i cant bring myself to clean it up either???? bc im lazyĀ
bleeding heart: has your heart ever been broken?
hMMMMm mmm idk i dont think so
bluebell: do you drink tea or coffee?
i drink tea more than i drink coffee but i drink water more than i drink tea i drink water like. everyday lmao obviously but i drink a lot of water its my brand now
buttercup: what are five things that make you apologetically happy?
what does this mean why is the word apologetically there i cancelled it lmao no negativity in this house
my favorite people (u know who + my friends)
when people answer my anon asks and . they respond with a long reply/seem really happy responding thats my fav fam
this is getting real anime but when i get an UR/4* from scoutingĀ
finding an anime/manga/book that perfectly suits my taste
im very tempted to just say water bc idk what else 2 sayĀ
calla: whatās your favorite book?
ive only read 3 whole books this year but i recommend all of themĀ
challenger deep - neal shusterman (i could go on about this book for days honestly its so interesting and even though its told by the same person it has two kind of perspectives because there are two settings, that didnt make sense but this book is my new favorite)
see you in the cosmos - jack cheng (i love this one too because its just so warm? made me a little emo but its really good and i love how unique it is, text type wise)
a monster calls - patrick ness (this was something i heard from my school first so i didnt know if i really wanted to get it but its actually pretty good?)Ā
carnation: what are your five most played songs?
i cant really check using the music app bc i added the songs at different timings so itll be inaccurate ill just do most played song from each band/group
again - astro (this is their best song dont @ me)
letting go - day6
all in/stuck - monsta x
death by a strawberry - dance gavin dance
check yes juliet - we the kings
chrysanthemum: what are you afraid of?
i may not b a child but im still afraid of the dark bc my imagination is wild im also afraid of bugs and disappointing others nice oh shit im also afraid of asking for things
daffodil: whatās your astrological sign?
capricornĀ
dahlia: whatās your favorite band?
this question was made for me its day6
daisy: which āfriendsā character do you relate to the most?
ive never watched friendsĀ
dandelion: are you an extrovert or an introvert?
in between!!!!!
geranium: how has your day been?
its been good!!! i managed to ask my mum 2 take me to hair place so i can get it cut finally and im working on updating my tumblr pages and doing all my tags
hydrangea: whatās your dream job?
pass
iris: whoās your celebrity crush?
pass
lavender: whatās one of the best gifts youāve ever received?
oH FUCK FAM my friends got me a kermit toy for my birthday i lvoe it 2 dEATH
lily: whatās something youāve achieved that youāre really proud of?
i got first in my class once wow amazing that was 2 years ago i wish i was as good as the me from 2 years agoĀ
marigold: what would you like to do more of, but donāt ?
well i want 2 b more hardworking but guess thats too late
morning glory: are you an early bird or a night owl?
now that school is over and i have no reason to wake up early ive become neither which is saddening because... i like waking up at 7am on weekends and doing things early but now i wake up at like 9-10am and i still sleep at 11pmĀ Ā
orchid: whatās the last movie you saw?
i really dont remember?? maybe uh guardians of the galaxy?? i dont remember who i watched it with and when but it was good actually i remember who i watched it with nvmĀ
pansy: do you believe in love at first sight?
i dont really believe in romantic love anymoreĀ
peony: what does your url mean?
chicken fetus means an egg
periwinkle: what are you thankful for?
god get ready folks im gonna go on my biggest boxy rant ever...
so boxy is my friend who ive been mutuals for over a year and our first common interest is love live and haikyuu so we had that to talk about but im bad at keeping conversations with ppl on tumblr so that ended quickly but earlier this year or late last year i made a twitter and told people on here about it and she followed me and i didnt really mind/pay attention to the stuff she posted/rted uNTIL. until that fateful day... june 25th... at like 8pm? she rted a pic of mister brian kang with dumb minion glasses on and ok maybe i do believe in love at first sight? bc wow!!!!! whos this dumbass with minion glasses and the fluffiest hair ??? so i slide into boxyās dm.. expecting an explanation and she gives me a good one saying how brians from a band (i would later find out), day6 and im not a fan of kpop, never have been.. ive only watched like some kpop mvs bc i love my friends so i expect myself to listen to them and get over them as soon as im done. boxy my friend, bless HER she sends me all of their mvs from congratulations to i smile and i watch the first one - i smile and me? i start smiling and i can feel myself getting excited because holy fuck theyre a band! they play fucking instruments??? and at this point im already whipped then i move onto how can i say and that shit blew my mind let me tell you.. so because of boxy... i get to where i am now, proudly stanning 3 groups and if it were not for her i wouldve never gotten into mx as well... boxy is just?? really important to me her impact is just that great?? so im super!! sUPER thankful for her and i dont think sheāll ever see this but boxy i love u thank u so much!! boxy gave me more than one reason to live, and not just exist?? without her i wouldve never been able to make so many (like 2 but hEY) new friends and this probably got so long idk im just really thankful for boxy thank u lord for blessing us with boxy (@/youngkwhom on twitter) (kittenma on tumblr) i hope shes happy forever and i also hope she has good days for the rest of her life?? boxy deserves it i lvoe u boxy
petunia: where were you ten years ago?
10 years ago i was like 6 probably watching pokemon or some shit and getting glasses
poinsettia: where would you like to be in ten years?
dead thanks
poppy: whatās your online persona?
i dont understad the meaning of persona but an egg??????Ā
rose: whoās the last person you spent quality time with?
all my classmates in an exam hall for 2 hours, quality time indeed
snapdragon: what are your goals?
pass
sunflower: whatās your favorite quote?
i think i had one before but i forgot so maybe it wasnt my favourite lol idk i dont have one now
tulip: if you had three wishes, what would you wish for?
for all of my favourite people to be happy forever
a good future
i want astro, mx and day6 to get an award for all of their hardwork thanks
violet: whatās one thing most people donāt know about you?
i was gonna say smth negative but lets not hm m m i? ?? ill put smth irl ppl probably dont know either uh hhh i guess?? that i eat a lot?? but also get full really quickly but then really hungry right after that idk thanks digestion
zinnia: do you believe in magic?
no ????/ idk is there any evidence that magic existsĀ
JEN !!! thank u so much for asking even tho u probably asked just to get back at me but this was still fun ask memes will never get boring bro,. i love u and i hope u have a good evening also i love ur blog too moon anon probably already told u
to anyone who actually bothered reading through this mess - thank you and i hope you have a good day/night too!!
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Haven't given y'all an update for a while so hopefully this won't be too long (its so fucking long...If you wanna scroll to the last paragraph there is a long story short )but I know some ppl feel personally invested in my love/sex life so here it goes!!Ā
Last time I was posting I was still obsessing over my neighbor and going crazy over wanting to fuck him again / wanting the time of day from him. Well, now I'm pretty much over that and for a few reasons - ya he's totally hot, like a real life babe, but he's also like the biggest asshole I've ever met and I can't even believe I was dickmatized enough to look past how badly he treats me / most women when he's not trying to fuck them. The only time he was ever "nice" to me was like the days leading up to us sleeping together and the only time after that he's been nice to me is like 2am drunk in his apartment (and not even nice just him making comments about my boobs or waist or something) but still...not really including me in conversation. Every time I see him I just try to be cordial and say what's up but he's just like "hi" and that's it. Honestly heās probably weirded out by me being into him after we fucked (bc of various social media followers, yall know i post EVERYTHING) which I guess is fair because ya... it was kinda weird. So if he's been rude to me the last month to get me over it -- it worked. Over him! He aint that great....I've definitely slept w guys w better bodies and better attitudes. Fuck him and his Connor Mcgregor tattoos lmao.
ANYWAY, so after that fiasco I went to New Orleans and had sort of a shitty time at first just because the friend I went with was on some other shit, and we weren't getting along. So I started swiping away on tinder and matched w this guy Johnny and I wasn't really into it at first but then once I got a little drunk I was like "meet me" but I actually ditched him (fell asleep for 3 hrs) anyway eventually I met him and he walks up and he's immediately x3 hotter in person than he was in any of his pictures AND he comes up with a thick Greek accent and y'all.....I love the whole (eastern...ish) harsh European accent so I was like DAMN! So we had a great time, has great sex and by the morning we were pretty amazed at how into each other we were and the connection we had both physically and emotionally was wild and we spent the next two days together basically just fucking and talking about everything ever in life and it was a really great time and I'm prtty sure he's my soulmate. We even have plans for him to come and visit me in Florida next month! So that's cool, got that little babe in my pocket. Some issues arise w the language barrier because hes not the most fluent English speaker (he's only been here for like 6 months) and I obviously don't know any Greek so it's tough buuuuuut there's that. Also, what's wild is he's only 21!!!! Which is CRAZY? Never really into guys romantically who are anywhere near as young as I am so having a connection w a 21 y/o is crazy to me. Also...he looks so young compared to the guys I'm usually with (with the exception of my neighbor who is only like 22 every guy I've been with in at least the last 6 months has been 28-48) but in 10-20 yrs when he is in his prime god damn is he gonna be a killer... he looks like the spitting image of a younger, leaner,Max Riemlet tbh (Wolfgang from sense 8)
But despite me having found my "soulmate" I still have to live a life in Saint Augustine and get laid somehow so I've just been going out, meeting people and occasionally tindering. Last night I ended up sleeping with someone who I slept w when I was 19 and it was underwhelming (AGAIN) just like it was when I was 19...he was better I guess. We watched TWO fucking movies and drank and then it literally was like 20 mins of making out and I couldn't take it and it was so late and I was like "ok can we just fuck now" and he finished in...you guessed it....less than a minute...and I was like "uh ok I hardly moved??" He was like "yeah but you were moving from the inside and talking to me and making sounds" and I was like like LOL. I mean I guess...because he did feel good for the 45 Seconds but i like tried to move my hips with him and he made me stop cause he was gonna cum and then like 10 seconds later I think all I said was "ur cock feels so good" then he was like "oh shit" and fucking busted GOD DAMN IT?? So to have sex...I can't move....and I can't talk??? Lmao ok. I rlly did feel like a 19 y/o. Luckily (or maybe unluckily?) he lives literally across the street from me so I just got dressed and went home but before I went I was like "uh do u wanna take my number?" Yknow, because he felt good for the bit and I was thinking maybe if he just gets used to me he can go longer and I'm like HOW convenient would dick right across the street be??? Because dick right upstairs obviously work out... But he like paused for a few seconds and I was like "ok nvm thanks for cuming in a minute and not even trying to give me an orgasm have fun dude" and left and then he messaged me on tinder and was like "here is my number if you wanted it I'm deleting tinder now because i cant deal with fucking peoples feelings up" and I was like HA HA HA "I'm literally chilling idk what about that could've hurt my feelings but I left my glasses there if you could put them in my mailbox that would be great" and he said some shit about how he got dumped a week ago and how it's "not a good way to get over himself" but I didn't reply and I woke up in the morning and my glasses were where I asked them to be so I guess that's good.Ā
Also, I'm back on my Mitchell bullshit. We matched on tinder and I didn't say anything because i was trying to BE STRONG but I think it was Friday night and I drunk called him and he didn't say SHIT all day then last night at like midnight before I went over to that guys house he messaged me "you rang?" and we fell into our usually rapport and then later today he texted me so now we are back to talking? Maybe? Probably not.... and if we are I already know how it's gonna go but I'm a weak bitch I know iām sorry but honestly he doesnt even hurt anymore.Ā
So yeah, that's where I'm at. Long fucking story short: I'm done w my dick head neighbor crush, I met my Greek soulmate in NOLA and miss him everyday but a future w him is next to impossible, especially bc he goes back to Greece in April and has to join the military....so I need to fill the void by getting laid and going back to the familiar rollercoaster ride of pain that is Mitchell. That's all folks.Ā
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Bi-annual state of the self
*waves* soooo if youāre new to my blog, for the past couple of years Iāve had a couple of times of year where I write/post a bit about Sad Personal Shit. At this point itās more to remind myself about how far Iāve come than actually inform other people about my state of mind. Although I guess it helps people know Iām doing okay since I hardly talk about personal stuff in public.Ā Like in previous postsĀ Iāll put most of the info under a cut to not clutter up anyoneās dash or make anyone really sad unless they wanna take a look.
As of writing this Iām doing fine (though admittedly Iāve been working on this off and on since the tail end of December and Iām like 95% sure iām done as of 1/20 hahaha nvm iām still touching up on this on 1/25). Iām probably okay when this gets posted. Well. Very likely on the lower end of okay. Iāll put in details under the cut but if anyone wants to ask questions privately Iāll answer them. Though maybe not immediately or even until late today because god knows Iāll be working to try not to think about today AND THEN Iām going to see A Dogās Purpose with my family because my youngest sister insisted on taking us to a movie thatās gonna at least make ME cry.
Um, if you donāt want to read this and/or you wanna know what to do to help me out, send me funny and/or wholesome memes and videos. I also like cute stuff involving elephants and owls and cats and snakes. Any animal really but those are like my top 4 in no real order. Oh, or puns. I love puns. Yeah lots of puns will help too cuz Iāll be able to read them to other people whoāll need a laugh or a groan.
....This is gonna be long so sorry in advance for my rambling.Ā
Anyway, on with the show.
To get this out of the way and also summarize the reason behind this post: my younger brother Benjamin killed himself on August 25, 2014. Today, January 27, 2017, would have been his 21st birthday. Itās been a bit of a ride these past couple of years to say the least even without the bullshit that was a good chunk of 2016.
So before I get asked this, no the name Benjamin or Ben or any other nickname related to it doesnāt trigger me. Iāll notice it, sure, but only in the same way anyone else with siblings would notice someone saying their siblingās name in a regular context. Same goes for anyone mentioning having a brother. Suicide or death in general as a topic in conversation or in a story doesnāt exactly trigger me, but talk about wanting to die or disappear can make me a bit anxious even if the person talking doesnāt actually mean to do anything (although admittedly some days I can handle such talk better than others). I can get really intense just because (as mentioned in at least one previous post) there was a tangible hole in the world when my brother died and I dunno what Iād do if someone I knew just suddenly left again. This doesnāt mean you canāt talk to me when youāre feeling like you need to die or disappear and you need to tell someone. BY ALL MEANS please talk to me if youāre having these kinds ofĀ feelings--keeping them inside is worse than letting them out even to someone who might try to grab your face through a computer screen in an attempt to let you know that they care about you a lot. Donāt be worried about hurting me if youāre hurting. I tend to describe my current existence as āvarying states of okayā but most of the time Iām on the better end of okay. Iāll let you know if I canāt handle things.
Oh yeah another thing: If I mentioned my brother in a conversation with someone that didnāt know about anything related to him, I always tried very very hard to use past tenses so that I wouldnāt be lying. Like āgod he used to do such and suchā or telling a story about him from when he was a kid. Mostly itās because he was a great person and I love to bring up the silly things that he did and that happened to him in his life even if I donāt necessarily want everyone I meet to know that heās dead. Also, I know a couple of people who are gonna feel really dumb because they didnāt figure this out sooner and Iām here to say that ITāS OKAY SERIOUSLY. I was only avoiding the topic because itās heavy as fuck, why would I want to dump all that on you all at once just a little while after we met I mean come on. Also as a general rule I usually donāt feel bad enough about Benās death in particular to want to broach the subject in the first place. Iāve got more pressing things to stress about and tackle first, yāknow?Ā
Obviously that isnāt to say that I donāt still feel SOMETHING even 2 and a half years later. I definitely still miss him. But itās like even if I AM having a bad day related to Benās death (like...being reminded of what age he should be as an example) I just donāt normally talk about this stuff with people Iāve only met since he died because...well, first off not everyoneās had someone close to them die. See, the thing that no one tells you about grief before you lose someone close to you is that the feelings donāt really go away. Itās more like, you get more used to missing the person that died but there are definitely times when the pain will flare up thanks to some reminder and you have to cry about it. People who havenāt lost anyone might not be able to understand or empathize when theyāve had no experience with loss.Ā And thatās fine. I donāt ever want someone to lose someone close to them just to understand how I feel FUCK no. Itās just that the barrier of experience can make the conversation immediately turn awkward from the other side not knowing what to say and me not wanting to make them uncomfortable. So, as much as possible I try to avoid that.
Secondly, mentioning Ben and how he died can sound a lot like Iām trying to grab attention. Which, I donāt want or ever intend to do. At this point in my life (to me, at least), his being dead has been solidified as fact. Which means that when I mention his death itās more like Iām saying that the sky is blue or the grass is green. Saying the words has easier and easier as timeās gone on. Not everyone will get that being able to say them at all is in fact one of the ways I know Iāve taken some steps forward in healing. So they might assume that Iām trying to gain sympathy points when all I really wanna do is talk. (Most of this is just paranoia Iām aware but itās still a valid reason.)
And thirdly...well, thereās just some things I can say candidly that not everyone is going to appreciate right away. They tend to be a mix of reminiscing about stuff my brother did or would totally do in a given situation and whatever situation I happen to be in. This can lead to morbidly funny things such as this story about a conversation my sister and I had:
(He really would pull a fucking stunt like that tho. Not to really be mean but because he was that kinda person. As an example, he would sneak into my room while I had my headphones on and scare the crap outta me just because he could and I wasnāt paying attention.)(I didnāt end up with a shittily wrapped present on my bed but that would definitely have been something)
Okay now that weāve got that extra long preamble out of the way, I can now get to how Iāve been lately.
The year and a bit after Ben died was hard, but it was easy compared to 2016 for whatever reason (even though for obvious reasons I consider 2014 to be my worst year). I was feeling more and more broken and alone as the year dragged on despite my moments of relief whenever I hung out with family or talked with my online friends or went to my grief group. On my days off of work I was often just at the house, not doing much of anything and not having any motivation to do much more than watch videos. Sure I had my good moments, but those seemed to get drowned out by how dull and repetitive life felt. Months ticked by and I was getting more and more lonely and missing the fact that my brother would have been there with me to go to places (despite knowing that he would probably have been working on my days off, the loneliness doesnāt have a set logic behind it). I donāt think I wouldāve done anything to myself (thereās no way Iād put my family through what weāve been through again) but I was fully aware that something had to be done and soon.
So one day I decided to join a private livestream of an artist Iād backed on patreon. Iād initially starting giving her money because I thought she deserved it and I didnāt really care about getting a reward for it, but one night sheād posted about doing a livestream for her patrons and I decided to see what would happen. And I had a great time. Everyone was so chill and friendly, and it was fun seeing her draw pages for her comic and talk to her patrons about all kinds of topics. So the next time she streamed, I joined that. And since then Iāve joined in on other livestreams of other artists, met new, wonderful people, joined discord servers and in general Iāve just been feeling much better about myself. And definitely less lonely. I donāt always make friends very easily but Iāve found strong platonic connections with these friends Iāve made and in a very short period of time. And I hope that Iāve helped them as much as theyāve helped me lately.
By the way just so weāre all clear in this whole long ramble: I appreciate every single one of my friends, old or new, and youāve all helped me out in different ways while Iāve been sorting myself out. Just because I might not talk to you about my feelings or issues doesnāt mean I donāt like you or Iāve suddenly stopped caring about you. If you feel like you didnāt do anything for me because I didnāt say anything about it I WANT YOU, YES YOU THE PERSON READING THIS WHO IS MY FRIEND, TO KNOW THAT YOU BEING YOU HAS HELPED ME PERIOD THE END. Really. Iām not just saying that. Everyone has contributed something thatās helped me out in recent months even if to you it was just a silly chat. Donāt think I wonāt smother you in momfriend worry and assurances and positive callouts about how good you are if you donāt believe me I STG.
2016 was a hard year for everyone. Friends of mine have gone through really hard times, politics has played havoc with everyoneās emotions, well respected and loved celebrities have died...with the dawning of this year I can only hope for the best for everyone (despite the really shitty political climate) and offer some words of advice and encouragement:Ā
You CAN move on from your very worst day. Even the one that you never, ever wanted to happen. Itās going to really suck, but you can do it. Youāll feel like youāre in the bottom of a deep ditch with no way out, but there IS a path up. Finding it is something youāre going to have to figure out on your own, but there are other people out there who can help point you in the right direction if you need them. And if you donāt need anyone you can still find your way. Just keep moving, one step at a time.Ā
Donāt worry about being āslowā in recovering. Donāt even worry if you feel like youāre never gonna recover at all.Ā
There isnāt a competition to see who can heal better/faster/stronger/ever from something traumatic.Ā
The important part is that youāre moving forward, even at what you feel like is a snailās pace because if youāre still moving and breathing youāre still alive. The objective is to stay alive for as long as possible. (Iām not saying that there wonāt ever be times when youāll break down because of your feelings as you move on. Hell Iām WELL AWARE that those points in time never really go away.)
What you need is perspective. The more time and experience you have, the better you end up being able to handle what hurt you.Ā
You might not think youāre important but I can guarantee you that if you died that people would feel your absence. It might not be the people youād have expected, but they still will feel something because youāre gone.
Be gentle with those who lost someone, but you donāt necessarily have to walk on eggshells around them. Most of the time, they just want someone to talk to about their experiences.Ā
So, if you need any more metaphors or advice or just someone to talk to Iām willing to help however I can.
Also Ben, wherever you are, I hope you have a good birthday. We all still love and miss you, but weāre doing okay. I mean. just within this past month Iāve managed to draw you fairly well so thereās something positive.Ā
So you donāt have to worry about us from wherever you are on the other side. Really. Thank you for watching over us, tho. Happy birthday.
#tw: suicide#tw: grief#discussion therof really#sad shit#rambling#my brother#benjamin#happy birthday lil bro#don't hafta read or reply if you don't want to#seriously tho i'm more than willing to talk about this stuff in pms of any sort#just is a liiiiiittle awkward to bring up in casual conversation#altho if you wanna just let me ramble about how great my bro was#I will be ALL OVER THAT SHIT#I could talk about him all day I mean it#wow this posted an hour earlier than I was intending but HEY OH WELL
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Mega rollercoaster ride
4th of March
This will probably be the longest post I have ever written. January was extremely long yet nothing much had happened. February was very very short and right now itās the 4th of March, and every else happened before today since the start of February, was a hella of ride. Everything below is as raw as I can go, meant it from the bottom of my heart.
At the start of February, everything was good except maybe my parents. My uncle cheated on my mother with another woman. And even until now, heād still refuse to leave the woman, refuse to leave this house. He says he has two hearts, one for my mother and another for the other woman. He promised to support my studies still tho.
The thing is, i donāt care whether he can support my studies or not, I donāt care right now if i have the money to go for university or not. I can wait, i can take a gap year. All I want to happen is my mumās misery to stop. To have someone to teach you how to be a person and how to love properly since you were so young, then have that same someone to cheat on their own partner, was a torture. Stop talking about honesty, about trust, about a personās good heart, when you did the total opposite. Donāt be a hypocrite please.Ā Iāve looked up to him, how he is successful in his career, how wise he can be. Then knowing he cheated, breaks apart down. So what if youāre successful in studies or career? None of it matter if you donāt have a heart to love righteously.
My own dad cheated on my mum, my mum cheated on my own dad, now my uncle cheated on my mum. Itās a vicious love cycle, loveās not real here. Loveās never real, i donāt know how am I going to be now, now that I have 3 parents who cheat on each other. How am I going to love now? Iām going to trust God on this, iām giving him the driverās seat. Take control of my love life God, you do it best and youāll hold everything in place in just the right time.
Everything was good with Nick in the start of February, even as he was in Malaysia for 2 weeks. He would call meĀ ābiiā, he would say he misses me, he wants a hug. He would ask me about my day, tell me about his day, send me regular snapchats, and he would still tell me how he felt on a day. Things started to spiral down (again), when he came back to Singapore for a short while before he go off for internship again. He came back for a week, yet for the first few days he was busy with his family. I understand that he was busy with his family, yet I hoped I could see him even for a few hours, like just 3 hours of lunch with suffice because then, I knew he was in Singapore yet I couldnāt see him when I missed him a lot. I started to feel like I was getting put on the sidelines again because not only was he busy with his family solely, he was busy meeting his friends first... So i started to get insecure.. because I thought I would be the first on his list to meet when he is finally free.. but no.. Which I why I prayed for 3 days about Nick, asking God and talking to God.
The last post I had was since the mid of February, so iāll continue on from there. And like I was saying, I decided to pray to God for 3 days, and iāll see what he has to say to me. For the first night, I prayed and it was a positive answer. In 2nd night, I asked God whether I should continue trying my best for this relationship. If yes, give me a dream of Nick. For this night, God didnāt give me a dream of Nick, just a dream. The first thought that came to me was,Ā āNo, let Me do the restā. I smiled as I thought about it. For the third night, I asked God how long my wait will be? If its a long wait, give me a dream of Nick. If my wait is not long, give me just a dream, and if I should just give up, donāt give me any dream. For this night, God gave me a dream without Nick, means my wait isnāt long, but I still got to continue to wait.Ā
For these 3 prayers, God gave me a sign. I believe it really hard on this cause I know God talks to people through dreams. God gave me a sign, which is to continue to wait because heās the guy for me, but yet donāt do anything else, let God do things for you. So I stop, I stop doing so much things already. So when he came back to Singapore for a short while, I wanted to make another set of letters for him, since he was about to finish them, yet I donāt want to make an extra effort just because iām tired.
There was this day on Monday when we say we could probably meet on Wednesday and hang out together. But we didnāt know where to go, so things were still foggy them. Then comes Tuesday, where I was busy and he was busy. He would be around my area at 5pm and I told him maybe I could see him for a while if I make it in time at 5pm at my area. That was 11am in the morning, and he brutally told meĀ ānot possibleā, then it was only on Wednesday that I found out that he was going to my area with his friend instead, whom doesnāt know that we both are talking. :( I mean, the least he could do was to tell me that he would be with this guy, then iāll understand.. Yet from 11am, he didnāt text me, didnāt snapchat me or didnāt ask me how i am for the whole day. I knew he was busy with his friends so I didnāt complain, but I knew that no matter how busy he gets, heād still snapchat me pictures of what he is doing and such things.. He was supposed to go for his martial arts at 7:30 pm but he skipped it to have more time outside with his friends. He knew that we were going out the next day, but he didnāt ask me what we were going to do on Wednesday throughout the whole day, yet he could just snapchat me at 12am, telling meĀ āGood nightā as his caption. I was so sad, cause I was really tired and I wanted to sleep, then he scolded me for not sleeping early again and accused me of using him as an excuse and say that iām scrolling around but in actual fact Iām really just waiting for him to be free so I could discuss with him about Wednesday. My heart broke was he scolded me when I already told him I was waiting for him. :ā( Time comes to 1am yet we still havent decide where to go. He got tired so he said to discuss the next morning when we wakes up.Ā
Morning comes and we havenāt got any idea on where to go. There were no nice movies, so I suggested to go for a walk at the beach or east coast, he said it was too hot and he canāt walk a lot because he injured his leg. Okay cool. So I suggest to just have a meal at 18Chefs or Greendot, and he says it was boring. Okay, till 3pm we didnāt have any plans yet. Iāve been throwing so much ideas but he rejects all. He then tells me that maybe he should skip his martial arts lesson, obviously you should cause at 3pm iām still home and doing nothing, but yet i understand that he wants to go for the class so much. So I just told him,Ā ādonāt skip la, your last few lessons before you go for internshipā. he said, yeah and that he really wanted to go. I thought that if he went, I could go Jurong to run some errands at about 7:30 pm. But during 3pm I gave up trying to think of places to go, so i just saidĀ ānvm ah i just go Jurong do my things.ā only then did he suggest for a movie, then continued to say,Ā āok nvm I meet you at Jurong for a quick mealā so thennn it started raining heavily and he said that his feet is full of plaster, cannot touch the rain else would get messy, so I said iāll meet him at the east, at Paya Lebar.Ā
I ended up seeing him only at 6pm and I swear that as he went out of the gantry, I was so. so. so. happy to see him even though what I am looking at is my greatest misery. I cried internally when I see cause Iām just so happy to see him again :ā(, i wanted to hug him as he comes closer but he walked to another direction and asked me to follow. We only had 1hour 30 mins of time together and during the whole time we were together, he didnāt hold my hands nor stand close to me or anything :(. Then he went off for his martial art lesson already. I sent him to the bus stop where he took the bus. As he queued to enter the bus, I cried again, not because I wonāt be seeing him for the next 6 months, but because I wasnāt his priority.
He could go out with his friends the previous day and could skip his martial art for them, yet he couldnāt spend his whole day of time with me and skip martial art for me. With this, I really broke down cause I now know how much I mean to him, I donāt stand a chance to be compared to his friends at all. Things were made harder for me as I thought I knew he loves me but iām not his priority, and as I thought about what God told me with the 3 prayers I had. He told me heās the right guy for me, told me to wait, but God, iām tired. I put so much effort into this relationship with Nick, but Iām not his priority.Ā
Iām exhausted, tired. I just wanna my feelings to stop, I just donāt really want to see him again cause I know iām not his priority. I stopped everything really, Iām done putting in effort, but I will still continue to wait for him God. So help me with this.Ā
I stopped sending him good morning messages when I wake up and think of him, he doesnāt do that to me at all. I stopped talking to him every hour cause I think thereās no more point. I stopped questioning myself whether is he wearing the bracelet or not, I stopped questioning myself whether he had read the letters finish. I stopped putting effort already, iām tired, but I miss him so so much. What am I doing wrong again?
ę¢ē»ļ¼å°±ę¢åæē¢ćIf youāre willing to give, you are willing to get your heart broken.
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On 1 March and 2 March, I spent the whole day making a welcome board for my sisterās wedding on 3 March. I spent the whole day of 1 March making drafts, trying out different flowers to draw, and finally making a final draft to draw on the actual board. Then on 2 March, I had some time to myself, so I used the gold adhesive foil that I bought, to cut out my name in calligraphy font, then pasting it on my phone. I kinda like it, but it wasnāt a clean cut cause I used pen knife to cut, it wasnāt that accurate, but I guess itās still nice when you look from far. Afterwards, I drew the flowers on the watercolour board, put in so much effort into it, slowly painting the flowers and as slow as I could so I do not make any much errors. I had no experience in painting on a large board, this came out just surprisingly nice, and iām extremely happy that everyone loves it!
This was the final output:
The work of my own, iām proud. My sister didnāt ask me to do this. I saw a similar board on Instagram and I thought that hey, this is something I could do for my sisterās wedding, so why not? As I do this painting, I enjoy doing it a lot, at the same time I also grieve, cause my sister is getting married. I wonāt be living under the same roof as her already, I wonāt be having someone to scold me anymore, but yet, I know deep down in my heart that she loves me a lot, that she cherish me a lot. I am very happy, and very very willing to draw this for her, is the last thing I can do for her before she actually gets married off.Ā
I remember during Chinese New Year on 17 Feb, I remember vividly what my cousins told me. They said that they asked my sister once,Ā āWho will you miss the most when you get married?ā My sister said,Ā āMy sister lor, she is a very kind girl. I love to talk to her, although she may not seem like sheās funny, but sheās actually a very funny girl.ā Wah I broke down right there when my cousins told me what my sister said to them. Iāve always thought that I wasnāt very close to my sister, even on the surface, we donāt seem very close. We donāt usually share our problems with each other, she doesnāt share her things with me, and I rarely share my things with her. Iāve always thought that our sister bond is not strong. But hearing what she said, about her missing me the most when she gets married, made me cry like a baby because I never knew I mean so much to her. This is the reason why I was so so so willing to make her a welcome poster for her wedding, because after all the things she done for me (buy me clothes, bring me places, encourage me), the least I can do for her is to make something for her, something that I used my heart to do.
On 3 March on the wedding day, I woke up 5:30 am so get ready, wore my outfit and such things to prepare for the groom to pick my sister up from our house, to leave home by 7pm because itās a Chinese wedding tradition. I offered to accompany her in the morning because I kinda wanna see my sister get ready, with her gown on and her make up done by a professional makeup artist. I have never done such things before but I finally got the chance to hehe. So we brought everything to her husband-to-beās house and got ready there. As time passes by and ready to leave, we went to the venue and I realised that my board that I made for her was placed at the entrance of the venue, with a small easel, placed on an elevated grass patch. To see my work there makes me really proud, thinking about how many people will judge my work, whether they think itās nice or not I do not care, but the most important thing was that I feel proud that the first thing people see when they enter, is a welcome poster made by the brideās sister hehe. My sister also said that sheās gonna keep the poster. :)
Then comes the afternoon when it started to rain super heavily. It rained heavily three times and the last rain was the time when I actually remembered about the poster that was placed out in the rain. I donāt know whether was there anyone who brought the poster in, then my mind started to think about the worst possibilities. Since the paint is watercolor, what if the rain caused the paint to drip down onto the bottom of the board and everything I drew before could not be seen anymore? My sister can no longer keep the poster that she said she wanted. She wonāt be able to keep the poster, sheād be disappointed and sad cause she really liked it. Then comes the self blaming, fuck, why didnāt I take responsibility of it? Itās your work, Rena, you should have thought about it the first time that it rain and should have taken it indoors. That board is your work, that board is for your sisterās wedding, that board.. is what I painted with my heart so I could give it to my sister, the whole point of this board was to give it to my sister. I was literally in a despair, reallll reallll despair.
As I left the venue to the house for little while, I took a look at the poster, hoping that nothing bad has happened to it. To my surprise, nothing bad happened. The colours just faded a little, nothing worse happen to it. I was extremely relieved, you have no idea how relieved I was, but yet I kept blaming myself, I should have taken responsibility for it, itās a gift for your sister, Rena. How could you just leave it out in the rain when you clearly know itās watercolor paint, ffs.
But eventually, Iām just glad it was okay. My board was placed at her new home, at the top of her bed, and my board is featured in the wedding montage in the first few seconds of the video. Iām extremely proud, and extremely happy that my sister loves it :) This is what happens when you put heart and soul into something to give to someone, they will always appreciate you for that.Ā
They say people only remember the bad things you did and will forget about the good things you did. I have a question, were the good things you did sincere? Did it came out from your heart? Or was it merely just for self comfort, or self dignity? People will always remember things you do for them, when they see your sincerity.Ā
On 3 March after my sisterās wedding day, I had to go collect glasses over at my ahyiās (my motherās sister) house, cause I left my sisterās glasses with her and forgot to take it back. I got there and got the glasses, along with my aunty who accompanied me. Then there my aunty was, talking to my ahyi. I was looking at their mini aquarium and I donāt know how it started, but my ahyi told me that all the yi zhangs (my motherās sistersā husbands) dote on me a lot, especially this houseās yi zhang. He dotes on me so much as if iām his own daughters, encourage me for my school.. tells me that I can do it and such things, always take the effort to ask about how my school is. I get so envious of my cousins because they have such a wonderful father who loves them so much, who provides them unconditional love, something that I never receive before - an unconditional love from a father.
Then there was my aunty talking to my ahyi about me. My aunty said that she was very happy that this houseās family have been providing me unconditional love, because she knows iāve never gotten the chance to have a complete and loving family. I teared a lot but i blinked my eyes to not cry. I canāt cry in front of them, I donāt want people to see me cry because iām in a sad state. Itās not that I donāt want sympathy for people, I just donāt want to break their heart cause they see me cry over my life.
No matter how incomplete and not loving my family is, I am always grateful for the people who stood by me and see me at my worst emotions, seeing me cry, seeing me pissed and angry, and I will always thank them for giving me support whenever I needed. Thank you. :) Youāre the kind of people who gave me the reason why I never give up of people.
The month of January and February, iām the most grateful towards my aunty. Without her, I donāt think I could pass by these 2 months easily. I had a lot of assignments to do, so busy with school iād come home after submitting my work in school. Sometimes Iād stay in school till 12am to finish up my work and submit, the longest was till 1am. Instead of scolding me, she encouraged me and told me I could do it. I was so stressed out, so tired, so lost. Sheād come to hug me and sayang me, pray for me and always tell me she loves me.Ā
I had problems with him iād also share with my aunty. Iād cry in front of her and sheād always sayang me. Sheād know when I cry at night before I sleep, sheād know when iām sad, always takes the effort to observe my emotions, and is always happy when iām happy.Ā My aunty is the most understanding woman in my family, which is why i grew up to be understanding as her too.
Right now at the brink of losing a man at home, probably our family wouldnāt be able to pay my aunty anymore, so sheāll have to go home i guess. Who knows probably even before I graduate she wonāt be with us anymore. But even if our family can no longer pay her, the least I want our family to do is to hold her till my poly graduation. Sheās the most important woman in my life - over my own mother. This is as raw as I can go, I love my aunty and iād do anything if I could just have her at my graduations and at my wedding in the future.
The older you get, the more shit you have to deal with, and the more first hand life lessons you get. Things will get harder, shittier, worse, unbearable, hopeless. Among all the heart breaks you get, remember to learn how your heart works, itās the greatest life lesson. Amidst all these emotional roller coaster, remember to learn and grow stronger from it, learn from your mistakes and change your attitude. To me, the only way youāll get through life is to, learn.Ā
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