#I mean look at that frame u just know galaxy punch is going to go HARD

[dbphantom]

Garp when that one kid he was asked to take care of is being executed in front of him

Garp when some kid he just thought was neat is in danger

[squadlessgeek]

Title: When He Sees Me

Summary: human au ; logan is nervous and overthinking when roman sets him up on a blind date. based on the song “When He Sees Me” from Waitress, and this wonderful animatic by @voidsides / @artfromthevoid

Warnings: 

Word count: 2,435

Pairings: Logicality (Logan x Patton) and background Prinxiety (Virgil x Roman)

Tag List: (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed) Tag List: (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed) @monikastec @persepinecone @horsesquid @sassyandmessy @ilivetoexist @lizaelsparrow @galaxy-warping @insanityandimperfection @sander-fander-sides  @swlotakulady34 @llamaavocado @applecannibal @helloisthisusernametaken @wildhorsewolf @justanotherpurplebutterfly @beautifully-terribly @awkward-avocado-of-death​ @ab-artist​ @toujours-fidele​ @an-awkward-gay​ @anaveragegay​ @gingergiraffe101​ @i-just-punched-malfoy​ @musikasworld​ @constantstateoftired

Read it on AO3

The ringing in Logan’s ears almost drowned out the excited giggling from Roman, the amused snickers from Virgil. Almost. He blinked a few times, shook his head, even pressed the tip of a fingernail into the pad of his thumb hard enough to hurt, hoping to wake up from some sort of awful dream. None of the above worked.

“I’m sorry, you what?” He asked finally, brows drawn together and staring Roman down like he’d just dealt the worst betrayal in the history of their friendship.

Roman raised a hand to his face and laughed behind it. He lounged carelessly on their sectional sofa, his boyfriend of three years, Virgil, settled in beside him. The three had been roommates since college, and while being the third wheel was occasionally awkward and undesirable for Logan, they were his best and only friends, and it just made more sense to keep their living situation the same throughout the years; economically, of course.

“I set you up! He’s so cute, Lo, look!” Roman tried to show Logan a picture of the mystery man, but Logan brushed him aside. He looked to Virgil for help, who only shrugged.

“It’s just a date,” Virgil said from behind the screen of his phone. Logan gawked at him. The most apprehensive, cautious person Logan has ever known, somehow calm about the situation. Of all people, Logan would’ve expected Virgil to understand.

Logan took a deep breath and adjusted his glasses, turning towards the staircase that led to the bedrooms upstairs. “I’m not going,” he said. Roman complained loudly, hopping up from his seat to follow his roommate upstairs. “End of discussion. You can’t just— I don’t understand what the thought process behind this decision was.”

“He’s cute, and single! See, you two have so much in common already.” Logan rolled his eyes and stopped at the top of the stairs, turning to look at Roman. “I swear, you’ll like him. Even if you don’t work out romantically, you two could still be adorable as friends. Plus... I think he’d be good for you.” 

Logan squinted down at Roman, the gears turning in his head as he tried to figure out what that could mean. “Good for me?”

“You know what I mean. You need to get out more, meet new people. You seriously smell like an old, wet book. That’s not even an insult, it’s just the truth. Right? Back me up, V.”

“I’m not part of this,” Virgil called from the couch.

“Whatever,” Roman continued. “In any case, you should go.” He reached for Logan’s hand, who only resisted a little while Roman tugged him back downstairs. “I know you’re scared, but—“

“Scared?” At the bottom of the stairs once again, Logan pulled his hand away from Roman, shaking his head. “Please. I’m not scared.” Roman raised an eyebrow at him, the corner of his lip twitching up into a skeptical smile. “I’m not! It’s just— you don’t really know him, right? You only recently met him. He could be dangerous. He could be unstable, he could turn out to be some stalker with psychopathic tendencies, he could be anyone!” As Logan rambled on, he paced around the living room, only working himself up even more. Roman kept trying to interject, and Virgil, now interested, opted for watching this scene play out rather than keeping his eyes glued to his phone.

“Lo, he’s sweet—“

“What if we sit at a booth and he wants to sit beside me instead of across? What if he talks too much, or too quickly, and I’m not interested in what he has to say, or worse, I can’t understand what he’s saying at all? What if he asks me too many questions, tries to pry into my personal life before I even know him? There are so many things— you don’t understand, he could prefer Coke instead of Pepsi, he could eat Oreos the wrong way, he could prefer the movie over the book, he could drink his coffee with way too much sugar. Oh, my god, he could be colorblind! How untrustworthy is that?!”

Logan only stopped his tangent once he actually looked at the expressions on his friends’ faces. They looked at him like he might explode, like he was crazy, and it made his entire body tense.

“So,” Roman cautioned, “You’re scared.”

There was a beat of silence as Logan pushed his hair back, regained his composure. And yet his voice cracked the slightest bit as he breathed, “Terrified.”

Admitting his fears was never his strong suit. Admitting anything, really, was quite a feat he was not too familiar with. He let himself sink onto the other end of the sectional, removing his glasses briefly to rub at his face. Virgil sat forward in his seat and placed a tentative hand on Logan’s knee.

“I’m just being cautious,” Logan sighed, sure that Virgil was going to comment on how crazy he was acting.

“I know,” was what he said instead. Logan looked up at him, meeting his eyes, watching that familiarly hesitant smile. “But I don’t think you’re afraid that you’ll hate him. I think you’re afraid that you’ll like him.”

Logan felt his face grow warm and averted his gaze to the carpet, Roman "Oooh”-ing dramatically from the other side of the couch. He quieted with a sharp look from Logan, but the words still hung heavy in his mind. He was afraid of so many things, mostly of the unknown. Of what he could never be sure about. Of ifs and buts and maybes. And this whole thing was chock full of the unknown. But maybe, facing his fears wouldn’t be so bad, because in a way, it would calm them. At least he could be sure.

“There is probably one thing you should know,” Roman said, snapping Logan out of his thoughts. “Patton is colorblind.”

And so the unknown becomes the known.

And in a way, it’s comforting.

Roman According to him he’s wearing a baby blue sweater and overalls. Cute. He’s got round glasses and just an absolute mess of freckles, and he literally lights up a room when he walks in - you can’t miss him. 10:22am

Virgil we told him you would probably be the only person on the whole block wearing a tie. he’s excited that you both wear glasses. good luck lo. u got this. 10:28am

Logan sighed to himself as he scanned the messages in the group chat the three of them shared. He decided against correcting Roman on his incorrect use of the word “literally,” and instead put his phone on silent and tucked it back into his pocket. He didn’t want to come across as rude if it went off in the middle of this... interaction. He preferred not to call it a date. Calling it a date made it real in a way that Logan would rather avoid for now. Just until he knew more.

When it was his turn in line, he ordered a coffee, sixteen ounces, black. As the barista rang him up and took his card, he decided that this was ridiculous. He shouldn’t have come. He should have stayed at home, made his own coffee, gotten some work done. Instead he decided to spend the day standing in a cafe full of people nothing like him, for a stranger that might not even show up. A stranger who might be wrong for him in so many ways, who might not be worth the anxiety of an ordeal like this.

He could have Roman apologize for him, and it would be fine, everything would go back to normal and he would never have to think about the colorblind stranger again. He had more to lose from staying than he did from leaving. He thanked the barista as she handed him his cup, and turned back to the door with full intention of going home.

But then he understood what Roman meant.

Just as he turned toward the door, someone else walked through it. His eyes, behind round wire frames, held a mix of hope and nerves, and didn’t try to hide the fact that they were looking for something in particular. Freckles dusted his cheeks and the bridge of his nose; if one were to focus they would notice that the little dots continued down his neck and beneath his sweater. Baby blue. Accompanied with white overalls.

You can’t miss him.

Logan’s stomach twisted, especially as the nervous and hopeful eyes landed on him. Too late. As he walked towards Logan, the latter panicked. He could slip past him, quickly walk out, get into his car, and leave. Or he could pretend to be someone else, despite the description his friends provided. Logan? Who’s he? Never heard of him.

And yet.

“Hi! Are you Logan? I like your tie.”

He found himself answering, “Yes. Thank you.” He managed to recover enough to extend his free hand, blinking away the initial shock from seeing him. “Patton, right?”

The handshake was accepted, though not before Patton gave him a funny look, like it was an odd greeting. Had he already somehow messed up? But he was smiling, in a way that was almost painfully genuine, so evidently things weren’t starting off too poorly. “That’s me! Should we pick out a table?” Logan let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. Table, not a booth. Good start. Logan preferred plain chairs over booths any day.

“Yes, let’s. Are you going to order anything?” He asked, gesturing to the counter where he’d gotten his coffee. Patton shook his head and held up a reusable cup that would have matched the shade of his sweater if it weren’t for the countless stickers decorating it. The contents looked very chocolatey.

“I brought my own!” he said, as he picked a table and sat down, Logan following his lead. “It’s just a milkshake; caffeine has the opposite effect on me, makes me tired.” Okay, while sugary milkshakes in the morning were a questionable dietary choice at best, at least his coffee order wasn’t some complicated, elaborate, unhealthy thing. “So, I’ve heard lots about you from Roman,” Patton said, sitting cross-legged in his chair. It didn’t look comfortable. Logan felt himself break into a cold sweat, wondering what his roommate would have said about him.

“Oh?” He tried his best to sound casual, collected.

“Only good things, don’t worry. Well… Sort of. I mean, you know Roman, he can make everything out to be way more dramatic than it actually is.”

Logan nodded at that, sighing to himself. The amount of insects he’s had to let outside in order to quiet Roman’s shrieking… “Well, what sort of things did he tell you?”

Patton twirled his straw between two fingers, his eyebrows drawing together as he recalled the information. Every expression he made was very pronounced, like he wore every emotion and thought out on his sleeve. Logan couldn’t believe Roman would see these two people, entirely opposite of each other, and think that they would be completely compatible for one another. “Um… well he said you’re very focused, and stubborn. And smart. Very smart. And that you know the answer to just about any random question you could think of.”

Logan couldn’t help his small twitch of a smile. Roman called him smart. And the last statement was true enough; he could recall several late nights when he’d get a knock on his bedroom door and Roman or Virgil would poke their head in, ready to ask some inane question. One of his favorites was when Virgil asked if bees sneeze. They don’t, by the way. They lack noses, as well as mouths and lungs. “He also said that you were nervous about this date,” Patton continued, before sipping his milkshake with an amused glint in his eyes. Logan stiffened. “It’s okay! I was pretty nervous too. It’s been a while since my last date, so…” He trailed off as Logan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Patton’s confession of his own nerves should have helped to calm Logan’s, but it didn’t. 

“I… don’t tend to do anything that may come with a high risk,” he said. “With things like this, there’s so much unknown. And I’m much more comfortable sticking with things I already know. If I’m completely candid, I almost didn’t come. And I almost left before you arrived.”

While Patton so far had worn most of his emotions in his expression, now there seemed to be something he was hiding, though not very well. Logan could tell by the small, forced smile, and the way he looked down at his cup, that what Logan admitted had stung in one way or another.

“It’s nothing personal,” Logan said quickly, for some reason eager to reassure him in a way that he usually never cared to do with anyone else. “Roman probably told you that I appreciate new information, I like to learn as much as I can. Well, I was… nervous… because of the unknown. Because I didn’t know anything about you. But I think… I think I’m willing to learn.” Patton’s genuine smile had returned, at least a little bit, and his eyes flitted down to the table. Logan followed his gaze and saw that he had subconsciously rested his hand on top of Patton’s while he spoke. Warmth flooded into his face and he pulled his hand back, apologizing softly.

Patton giggled, the most musical sound Logan ever heard. “It’s okay. I liked it.”

His happiness was infectious; Logan definitely understood what Roman meant about lighting up a room.

And, worse, he understood what Virgil meant the night before. I think you’re afraid that you’ll like him. Facing one fear means facing a hundred more, each more terrifying than the last. If Patton had been unlikeable from the moment they met, Logan would have walked out of that cafe having lost nothing. But instead, he left feeling as if he’d gained something.

And everything that could be gained, could also be lost.

Before they parted ways, they exchanged information. Their phone numbers, and Logan had also given Patton the link to his blog, since the latter grew excited when it was mentioned, and insisted on reading it. No one had ever been excited to read his blog before.

Just as Logan arrived back at the apartment and pulled his phone from his pocket to unsilence it, a new notification from a new contact was displayed on the screen.

Patton When can I see you again? 12:02pm

[zukoscomet]

The Two Day Job

A/N: Chapter One of a Rebelcaptain fic, starring the entirety of Rogue One, because I, too, like to torture myself. Enjoy :)

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” 

Jyn Andor-Erso’s brow creased as she and Cassian stepped into the hangar. It was a few hours before dawn, the sky still a dark blanket, punched with stars, stained with the arms of the galaxy around them. 

The Yavin 4 hangar wasn’t much of a testament to the Rebellion days. Only a few ships remained anchored here. Most of the vessels that hadn’t been damaged or destroyed in the fighting had been integrated into the Republic’s military. Many of Yavin’s rebels had shared a similar fate. Not Jyn and Cassian though. Alone together, as they walked through the cavern, footsteps echoing in unison. They’d both had a share in war and it had been more than a fair one. 

As far as the galaxy knew, they were retired, but peace had to be maintained and there was no one better to do it than them. 

Jyn ground to a halt at Cassian’s question. She took a step infront of him and leant against the cockpit of an X-wing, the light of the neighbouring moons gleaming in her eyes.

“Okay with what?” 

Cassian gave Jyn a look, as though his meaning had been perfectly clear. “Me going on this mission.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with you going on this mission?” Jyn frowned. 

“Because,” He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. “Because you’re . . well-”

“Pregnant?” Jyn interjected, raising an amused eyebrow as her husband stuttered out his words. “It’s not news to me, Cassian.”

“And I would hope so by now, too,” Cassian smirked, shooting a pointed stare at her swollen abdomen. 

Cassian could never have imagined that he would one day become a parent. If he was honest, he had planned to die fighting the Empire since his own father had been gunned down before his very eyes. Something quick and heroic had been the dream scenario. But he survived. And so did Jyn Erso, the woman who didn’t hesitate to run into the line of fire to save a stranger’s child. The woman who hungered to be loved, wanted by someone, just for being her truest self.

Technically, the pregnancy was an accident, but there was a margin of deliberate error. Jyn didn’t take her contraceptive when she should of. Cassian was a little less careful than usual. 

The Empire was gone. People were allowed to be excited about starting families. Even battered war veterans like them.

Jyn studied Cassian for a moment as he shifted into the light from an overhead lamp. His hair had grown longer and his stubble thicker. He still cut a recognisable figure from the Rebellion era, but the hard lines of him had softened a little. Jyn might even call them laugh lines. He would get more of them in the coming years, undoubtedly.

“So what if I’m pregnant? You’ve done plenty of missions in the last eight months with no ‘is this okay?’” 

“This is different,” Cassian took a step closer, resting his hands on her hips.

“I thought you said it was reconnaissance.” 

“It is just reconnaissance. Some ex-Empire officer that Senator Organa is interested in. It’s no big deal, but,” Cassian took a deep breath. “The baby’s going to be born soon.”

She stared at him incredulously. “Soon as in over three weeks away. You’re on a two day job.”

“It could happen, Jyn,” Cassian glanced down at her stomach protruding between them with something that resembled suspicion. “I’d never forgive myself if I missed it.”

Jyn couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’ll be fine. Go and do this job for the senator, then it’s over.”

“But, Jyn-”

Jyn didn’t let him get any further. She lunged forward and pressed her lips against his, a centre of warmth in the cold throes of night. His words fell away into the darkness. Jyn would be damned if she didn’t seize her last moment of closeness with him, even if she’d be reunited with him in only days. His scent filled her nostrils; leather, grease and lemon soap and something that was indescribably Cassian. 

Cassian leaned into Jyn with beautiful familiarity, hands roving around her back as he pressed her against the the frame of the X-wing. For better, for worse, he would miss her, too, like a part of himself was missing. Cassian and Jyn were like crutches for an injured leg. One needed the other to walk strongly.

They created their own little bubble of eternity, right there and then, but it was inevitably broken by a sharp, sardonic voice.

“Cassian, stop fraternising with Jyn and get on the ship, or else we’ll all be late.” K-2SO sighed like a disappointed parent, appearing from behind a large cargo ship.

“Hi, guys.” Bodhi Rook poked his head around the corner, at K-2′s side, giving them an awkward wave. 

They jumped away from one another at the sudden interruption, although Cassian’s arm remained tightly wound around Jyn’s waist. 

“I’ll be there in a minute, Kay.” Cassian flushed, bowing his head to avoid looking his droid or Bodhi in the eyes. Having someone intrude on them was hardly new, but Cassian could never overcome the plaguing embarrassment. 

Jyn, however, had no shame. “Fraternising? I’ll have you know, droid, we’re married.”

“I know. I was there,” K-2′s eyes swiveled between them. “I’ve been with him longer than you.” he said peevishly before stalking away towards Cassian’s old U-wing, awaiting them near the hangar doors.

Jyn snorted, muttering under her breath. “Only I could marry a man with a jealous droid on hand.”

K-2SO stopped dead in his tracks, but did not deign to turn around.

“I am not jealous of you, Jyn Andor-Erso.” came his reply in his customary, affronted tone.

Cassian muffled himself with the sleeve of his jumper but it was wasted as Jyn and Bodhi laughed brazenly, the chuckles bouncing off the walls as though to haunt K-2 before he disappeared into the U-wing.

“So,” Bodhi started when the trio managed to stop their peels of giggling. “Ready to go to Geonosis, Cassian?”

He shared a brief look with Jyn before she smiled. “Get out of here, Captain,” She squeezed his hand comfortingly. “But before you do.”

Jyn reached into her pocket and revealed the kyber crystal, hanging from its old leather strap. Cassian wasn’t surprised to see it, she carried the jewel with her everywhere. It was, after all, the last reminder of a mother that had been taken from her far too soon. Hence why he was stunned when she pushed the gem into his own hand.

“I want you to have it. For good luck.” Jyn said firmly, shutting down the protests before they even left his mind as she slid the necklace over his head.

“Be safe, Cassian.”

Cassian nodded as he ran his fingers over the cool surface of the crystal, nestled against his collarbone. “I love you, Jyn.”

Bodhi slunk off back around the corner as K-2 fired up the engine of the U-wing that almost seemed to groan at the prospect of the long trip through hyperspace. Cassian planted a final kiss on her knuckles before he turned towards the ship. 

As the hull door closed behind him, Jyn murmured to the ears of no one but herself:

“I love you, too.” 

[insert-witty-comment]

Welcome back to the madhouse.Last time on Hawkins Book Club, we learned that Nichols was personally watched over by God, UFO stealth systems can be foiled by college students, aliens can’t design a functional user interface for shit, the Star Wars galaxy is real, furry aliens exist, there’s an intergalactic empire trying to take over Earth, the majority of alien abductions are actually carried out by the government, a floppy disk can contain enough data to reprogram the human brain, there’s a whole bunch of souls of abused kids just floating around and swapping bodies with each other, the CIA is really bad at assassinations, you can find your destination by bleeding all over a map, you can buy your own isolation tank from a commercial supplier, Eleven was a complete pansy who should have punched out the Demogorgon (according to Moon), UFOs were intentionally designed to look like a 3D vagina, aliens are avid gamers, Nichols lives within driving distance of me and God is a Stranger Things fan.That said, we are now at the 1997 book The Black Sun: Montauk’s Nazi-Tibetan Connection. The Order of the Black Sun, as you may recall, was the magical cult in which high-ranking Nazis tried to time travel by screwing each other in a mass orgy while this guy watched, so prepare yourself.Once again, the Prelude is back, and basically recaps the previous books, but with one addition;“In the wake of all this, Long Island experience the horrible tragedy of TWA Flight 800 where hundreds of individuals died as the result of an unexplained in-flight mishap. Although many theories have been put forward, the media refuses to seriously investigate the most probable cause of the situation;Structural failure?“a particle beam emitted from a Brookhaven Labs facility which activated a nuclear missile.…That works too, I guess. So basically those books is going to be all about those dastardly Nazis.The Introduction finally explains what “Synchronicity” is;“Synchronicity is called the fabric of time because it is the principle by which we recognize or know the phenomenon of time. If different actions are aligned and intercede within one frame of reference, they are said to synchronize… What is not so obvious is that people, places and things can also manifest beyond the laws of probability. Synchronicity, but its very nature, enables us to make associations that we might otherwise pass by.”This is genuinely kind of an interesting idea. Moon then reaffirms that the Nazis will be the focus.Chapter 1 retells the story of how a Nazi U-boat landed at Montauk with significant amount of treasure to bury, and how the crew went on to become barbers in Queens. Prior to that, a significant amount of U-boats were spotted by Montauk residents in the water that the US military never fired upon. Moon concludes that his meant the Nazis had access to Camp Hero through an underground dock. He goes on to talk about the German Bund Nazi supporters that had a large camp right next door to the Brookhaven National Laboratory. Apparently these Nazis also conducted “Bon meetings”, which connected to an ancient Tibetan animistic religion which were closely monitored by the FBI.Chapter 2 begins with a woman named Cindy contacting Nichols and Moon, claiming that her husband worked at Camp Hero. She showed them blueprints of the base’s underground and told them that the base was still being used. Specifically, Cindy’s husband was once of three mechanics working at the Camp… to maintain the lawn mowers. I guess even time-traveling Neo-Nazis want to make sure their grass is perfectly mowed in front of their secret base. Immediately after that conversation, her husband was fired the next day. A bit later, Cindy also told the duo about several Bigfoot sightings around Montauk, which Moon interprets as being another connection to Tibet via the Yeti. Soon after that, Cindy’s father called and revealed the following information;“He can stick his finger into a live electric circuit and feel no shock. An hour later, he could shake someone’s hand and they are liable to receive the shock. I decided to meet the man.”Well, with info like that, who wouldn’t? “Max” then reveals that he was fascinated with UFOs since he was a boy, and in fact literally built his own working flying saucer.“Max claims to have travelled around the United States in his home built UFO with eight women. They would travel the countryside looking for luminous spots on mountains where they hoped to find gold. Some of these spots proved to be false leads, but many precious metals were found, processed and sold for a considerable profit. The money was split between him and the eight women.”….Yeah…..This book…..So because of this, the military hired Max and he was stationed at Camp Hero to serve as a courier. He reveals that the Nazis did indeed visit the base several times. He also states that when a UFO crashed in Amagansett in 1995, the military approached him and asked if he wanted it. When he declined, they took it away themselves. He also attended the Bon meetings, which “were held to tell people what they could say and couldn’t say or tell people what they could and could not do.”“Obviously the people at these meetings were tied into a completely different reality… It sounds like an Aryan race outpost that was halfway between this dimension and another.”Moving on.Chapter 3 kicks off with a discussion of the infamous “Birth of a Nation,” you know the film that portrayed the Ku Klux Klan as the saviors of the white race. Well, this film reveals that founder of the KKK was a man named (big shock) Ben Cameron, and the film was semi-endorsed by President Woodrow Wilson. Moon also states that the Klan’s emblem was identical to a symbol revered by both the Montauketts and Crowley’s gang.“The book I read further stated that the Klan decided to put ‘meaningless occult symbols’ on their garments. This is a whitewash if ever their[sic] was one. One has to wonder if the writer was personally deluded, deliberately misleading or just making up his own mind.”Pot, meet kettle. I’m sure you’ll get along nicely.“The Klan was obviously using magic for its own purposes. The inner meanings were for initiates only.”Obviously. The name synchronicities continue;“All of this took on an even more profound meaning when I received a letter from a woman who said that her mother knew both Ewen Cameron, once the head of the CIA’s MK-Ultra mind control project, and also Alexander Duncan Cameron Sr., the father of the same Duncan Cameron featured in ‘The Montauk Project’.Well, well, we finally have a link between the Montauk Project and MKUltra. So it turns out that my previous hypothesis was incorrect, and in reality Ewen Cameron is Martin Brenner.“Ewen Cameron has been written up in several un-biased books as one of the most evil monsters to inhabit the corridors of the noble profession of psychiatry. His systematic torture of patients through what he called ‘psychic driving’ is well documented. It is well documented. It is a system whereby one’s own words, particularly of a traumatic content, are repeated over and over on a tape loop which plays continuously on a tape recorder. Combined with various forms of mental stress and deprivation, psychic driving is designed to make one totally lose one’s marbles. This aspect of Cameron’s work was done in conjunction with the CIA. Most of it took place at the Allan Memorial Institute in Montreal, Canada, where he employed many former Nazis. The CIA settled out of court with several people who were tortured by Cameron while he was working under the auspices of the agency.”Fascinating, but then the woman who’s giving Moon all of this information drops a massive bombshell on us;“She also told me that her mother had very esoteric understandings about time travel and had mothered a child with Ewen Cameron.”Oh yeah, Season 2 theorists rejoice. You might want to hedge your bets on this side. Moon comes into contact with this woman who is described as lucid, but suffering from PTSD. She reveals the following;“Her birth was carefully planned, and she was considered to be reincarnation of Innana, the Sumerian goddess…. Anna’s family is of pure Aryan lineage and is traceable beyond Germany.”….Okay. So apparently the ancient Sumerian Aryans were “enlightened and positive”, but became corrupt, and infiltrated every secret organization on Earth; the Knights Templar, the Illuminati, the Freemasons and everything else. These people are called “the Controllers”. Cameron was one of these people and believed that she was the incarnation of Innana, whose energy he could harness as power. To guarantee this, the Cameron lineage was kept pure since the beginning of time all in order to establish a New World Order composed of Aryans. He may have also been involved with sending Rudolf Hess traveling through time and met with John F. Kennedy’s parents.“At affairs like these, Ewen would put on a show. Women from various programs would attend to the men’s sexual desires. Ewen would arrange sexual partners and engage in what could perhaps be best described as the perverted occultism of the rich and powerful.”Well, now we know where Jack got the urge to go on his infamous sexual endeavors from.“Anna was personally quite traumatized by her association with Ewen Cameron. Consequently she began to study psychology to understand his pathology. She says he was overtly homophobic but also a latent homosexual. He amused himself by brutalizing young men as well as women. Ewen was well aware that Anna hated him, but he was gleeful about this because he knew no one would ever believe her over him.”Charming. Anna then describes that the intent of these Controllers was to afflict their subjects with Multiple Personality Disorder, with one personality serving as the blank, programmable one and the other acting as a cover.“Studies on MPD show that these individuals have an IQ above the normal range, a great amount of creativity and above average psychic abilities. It is also true that if you split a personality, the pineal gland will activate and the person can become psychic. The element of possession also comes into play as one is prone to pulling in exterior forces when being tortured. These forces will usually manifest as a beast of demon. Once MPD is achieved, further programming can be achieved by what is now known as Stockholm syndrome. This is when a victim bonds with his or her captor or controller.”That explains why the Demogorgon was attracted to Eleven. Anna also participated in out-of-body experiences and time travel as well. She also has scars on her lungs identical to that of Duncan Cameron, and the chapter ends claiming that Ewen Cameron’s death was faked and he worked for a foreign intelligence agency and Hubbard was a goddamn hero for calling him out on his horribleness and of course, lots of sex magick was involved.In Chapter 4… wait a minute.I just realized that Moon completely forgot to actually talk about the child in question. Seriously, he mentioned her (I’m going to assume she’s a girl for obvious reasons) twice and then never spoke of her again, instead electing to focus on her mother and his favorite subject; sex magick. Maybe Chapter 4 will explain this?Eh… not really. It basically states that the Camerons’ genetics give them a greater ability to travel between dimensions. Moon speaks with two Celtic shamans named Cameron who elaborate on this.Chapter 5 talks about the “Kennedy Connection”. A friend of Moon’s named Claudette says that she was raped by a German scientist who was connected to the Nazis in the 1950s, and ended up marrying him due to the social mores against giving birth while unwed. He frequently disappeared when they went to Montauk on vacation. Also;“The most bizarre story she had to tell was this German scientist’s dealings with the late Robert F. Kennedy. She said that while Kennedy was Attorney General, he would sometimes visit their house Queens. He always showed up in a limousine. The driver would wait outside while Booby came in the house. These visits were typified by her husband retrieving LSD sugar cubes from the refrigerator which he and Booby would consume and go ‘tripping’.Ah, the good old days, when the Attorney General could go off to trip out with a Nazi rapist and no one would care. Now it’s all “Russian collaboration” this and “Election hacking” that.Moon then goes off on a bizarre tangent when he claims that JFK Jr. was bisexual. He spends a large amount of writing trying to prove this and comes to the conclusion that the only thing that connects this to the Project is that JFK Jr. rented a house next to Camp Hero. Also;“Arnold Schwarzenegger, the poster boy of Aryan genetics also married into the Kennedy clan. He is the star of ‘Total Recall’, a movie that used a device similar to the Montauk Chair as its main theme. His psychic signature has literally been blasted over America’s air waves by nature of his tremendous stardom.”Uh-huh. I have no idea why Moon is so obsessed with linking Total Recall to Montauk, but let's just move on. Moon then describes how Joseph Kennedy Sr. had pro-Nazi leanings in the 1930s and appointed a Nazi sympathizer named Tyler Kent to manage confidential telegrams between Churchill, Kennedy and Roosevelt. Scotland Yard ultimately arrested Kent when they found that he was hiding telegrams in his apartment and Kennedy disavowed connection to him. Finally, a Scottish genealogy book ended up genetically linking the Kennedys to the Camerons.“This book said that both families trace their roots to the Scottish Isle of Skye, the isle of witches. Perhaps the Kennedy mystique of Camelot is real magick at work and not just a media illusion. All of you know that if JFK Jr. was ever nominated for president, he would be elected on the female vote alone. There is also a frenzy people feel about electing a Kennedy. It is magick.”This book….Chapter 6 discusses the Teutonics. It essentially claims that the Teutonics were involved with Egypt due to similarities between Norse and Egyptian mythology. The Vikings tapped into magical powers via runes as well, and the Nazis continued this belief. This is because the Celtic and German people have a sort of sacredness in their blood. Hitler was able to harness this old pagan power that was suppressed by the “ruling clergy” to convince the country to go to war.Chapter 7 talks about Lion Gardiner. He was a part of the Dutch “House of Orange” and had “royal blood”. In addition, every European king traced back to the Sumerian “gods” (aka aliens) who mated with human women, hence their special bloodline. There’s a brief history about the House of Orange that I’ll skip over for the sake of brevity.Chapter 8 covers some of Gardiner’s escapades on Long Island. In 1658 a guy named Samuel Parsons visited his friend’s wife Elizabeth Howell. She handed her newborn baby over to Parsons, started singing a Psalm, and started screaming about a witch, as one does. When her dad Gardiner came over she stated that she saw a “black thing” at the foot of her bed. She clarified that this thing was a shadow or something conjured by the Gardiners’ servant Goody Garlick. Over time, Elizabeth began to fall seriously ill and continued to claim that Garlick was bewitching her with pins. Eventually she died, and Garlick was put on trial for witchcraft. The “evidence” was that she dispensed herbs, owned a black cat, acted as a wet nurse for children and used “counter-magic” to help Gardiner with his animals. She was defended by her husband and Gardiner himself, and managed to get her off. This apparently heralded in “an era of black magic practices on Long Island which still exist to the present day.”Chapter 7 is titled “Project Paperclip and the Hamills”. The former was an Allied plan to save Nazi scientists and war criminals for their own use, and the latter was the family of a Muppet Show guest.“Since I have known Preston, people close to him have disputed his contention that he even knew Mark Hamill. I have asked Preston’s father about this. He remembers Mark as a young boy who cleaned up leaves from their backyard.”…..No, I’m still not convinced; you’re going to need more than that. Regardless, multiple people claiming to have a connection to Hamill have contacted Moon, but most of them disappeared shortly thereafter. In 1992, Nichols ran into Hamill in a Long Island mall, and that actor mentioned that he was prohibited from speaking to Moon. He also said that he was working on a sequel to the Philadelphia Experiment movie that was backed by the government.“When the movie was released, Doug Curtis was listed on the credits and, lo and behold, the Executive Producer was a man by the name of Mark Levinson. This seems to be an obvious play on the name ‘Mark’ and the ‘Levinson time equations’ mentioned in ‘The Montauk Project: Experiments in Time’. It was as if Mark was rubbing it in our faces.”Okay, this I can believe.“Shortly after this time period, it was reported on ‘CBS This Morning’ that when virtually all the homes in a section of Malibu burned during the brush fires, Mark Hamill’s house was miraculously saved. He appeared for a brief minute or two and said he did an occult Indian ritual which preserved his house.”Alrighty then. Also, seeing as how Hamill looked rather different in later years due to plastic surgery from a car accident, Moon begins to speculate that the Mark hanging around now is actually a body double. Moon points out that this accident did occur while the Montauk Project was in full swing. He then starts saying that Mark’s father was a Lt. Col. James Hamill who was an integral part of Operation Paperclip, specifically the acquisition of the V-2 rocket team. The “evidence” for this is that Mark’s father was stated to work in Navy intelligence and the Lt. Col. Hamill looked much like him and was old enough to be his father. This segways into the next chapter.So Moon was contacted by the German publisher of his books, Jan von Helsing. Von Helsing claimed that he was born psychic “from a mother who could read spirits” and his father was involved in psychic research. Despite this, he didn’t care much for the paranormal and became involved with the “punk rock music scene”, until a skinhead of all people told him that he saw Helsing’s aura and that his “crown chakra was not function properly”. This bizarrely helpful skinhead convinced Helsing to stop taking drugs alcohol and, um… meat, which somehow resulted in him falling into a one and a half week coma, during which he saw visions of “pyramids and domed houses.” Later, he met an aura reader, who claimed that Helsing was involved in time travel, and a part of his soul is stuck in another time. He then went on to meet Cameron’s half-brother Al Bielek who informed him that he was one of only eighteen people on the planet who had a “triple aura”, all of whom came from another universe as it was being destroyed. Their souls or whatever emerged to begin a rebirth and rebuilding process. According to Helsing, himself, Bielek, Cameron, Nichols, Moon and of course Mark Hamill are part of this special group. Cameron added that people have seven layers of information that manifest in a double lattice structure. People with triple auras have three of these things. Anyway;“The idea that triple aura individuals come from another universe is paralleled in Duncan’s own readings. Duncan sometimes referred to 637 people who came in from the Old Universe. There is an even further synchronicity at work here because Duncan’s psychic memories parallel the Star Wars movies almost to a tee.”Oh, we’re back to this.“There is a lot more information yet to come forth with regard to the whole subject of Star Wars. Preston Nichols was involved with the sound production and has publicly claimed in lectures that psychics were used to project into the filming so that people would come and see the movie several times.”………….….“The Star Wars series itself was based upon George Lucas’s ‘Journal of the Will’. Although it has not been publically released, this journal contained the dreams and inspirations of Lucas, a man who is reported to have lived at Montauk. The use of the word ‘will’ is a distinct parallel to Aleister Crowley’s concept of the will. When one unleashes the will, whether is through George Lucas or any other individual, the truth has a way of coming forth. The truth we are concerned about, lest anybody wonder, is unlocking the secrets of time.”……………………..“It seems clear that both Duncan and George Lucas were pulling from the same source. When we consider that Mark Hamill was once a roommate of Duncan, a childhood friend of Preston, and eventually became the brother-in-law of George Lucas, there is less room for speculation. There was an active but unseen influence working on all of them. It seems that Hamill, Lucas and Preston (who worked as a sound engineer for these movies) all contributed to remind the population at large of its ancient legacy and predicament.”I….I’m at a complete loss for words right now, so let’s just move on. Chapter 11 is just a long description about how secret societies and the government are suppressing Helsing’s work which has something to do with the Aryans and the Jews and I don’t know let’s keep moving.Chapter 12 starts off by claiming that Steven Spielberg is involved in this whole mess too due to making Raiders of the Lost Ark and Close Encounters of the Third Kind which revealed some of the truth about Nazis and aliens, respectively. Apparently a couple of people gave him copies of the first book. What follows is a colossal amount of horseshit over the course of several chapters that will try to break down here;*Dr. Felix Kersten was the personal doctor of SS commander Heinrich Himmler, who in fact did not want to actually murder every single Jewish person on Earth, and is essentially portrayed as a somewhat sympathetic figure instead of the utter fucking monster he was.*Hitler suffered from syphilis and his mental state was decaying rapidly, and was constantly being shot up with drugs by a “Dr. Morell”.*There was an art dealer who looked exactly like Hitler who was involved with Montauk in the 1960s and the Soviets might have covered up his escape. Also, Hitler might have had literal clones made of him.*Otto Skorzeny was a complete badass and managed to find a hidden Cathar treasure and later went on his own adventures after the war.*The Kaaba in Mecca was part of the Great Pyramid’s original capstone and was given to Abraham by Tahuti, Muhammad derived his “power” from the Great Pyramid as a result and was nurtured and supported by “the Goddess”, Allah is apparently more feminine than masculine in reality.*The Cameron family is literally the lineage of Christ. Also, Montauk was part of Thule, which was the capital of the mythical land of Hyperborea (“That’s what the Greeks called Iceland, you know”). Thule itself was the source of all life on Earth. Seeing as how the Earth geometrically forms out a void, Thule is the center of this void and is thus the titular “Black Sun”. Also, “SS” does not stand for Schutzstaffel, but instead it stands for Schwarze Sonne, meaning “Black Sun”. Thulium is also a “psychic gas”, which aliens require in order to survive on Earth. A whole bunch of “Thulists” met at an Artic base called Point 103 in 1945 to get in telepathic contact with a mystical source “at the center of positive forces on the planets”, called the “Manisolas” which are bio-machines that are manifestations of the morphogenetic grid.*Vrihl is still in play and is described as a magical force “set in motion by orgasm for the purpose of invoking beings from the ‘Outside’”. These beings are called the “Onoma”, the “deepest archetypes of the subconscious and are said to be the keys to evoking the Elder Gods or Forgotten Ones”, which in turn inspired H. P. Lovecraft. The Nazis tried to use it for this purpose meaning that this book is seriously claiming that the Third Reich tried to summon the Demogorgon from the Upside-Down. I’m not quite sure what to feel about that. Also, they used Vril to make flying saucersPutting the brakes on, we arrive at Chapter 22. So the guy in charge of the Nazi Vril project, Dr. Viktor Schauberger, fled to America after the war and was recruited by Brookhaven National Laboratory. There, he created the Cosmotron, a large particle accelerator. However, when he found out that his supervisors were planning on using it to manipulate the grid, he managed to break out of his contract and returned to Germany, where he died a few days later.Speaking of which, Chapter 23 goes into more detail about the Nazi flight from Germany after the war. So essentially the I.G. Farben Corporation worked to move scientists, equipment and money to neutral countries. Farben was responsible for providing the Zyklon B gas for the concentration camps and future Pope John Paul II sold it for them in his youth. The United States government gave them support before the war in exchange for chemical warfare research, but they were investigated after the war. One of the members of Farben was a man named Leo T. Crowley who also running the FDIC and was in charge of all enemy property confiscated during the war. Regardless, the investigation ruined Farber.“Today, I. G. Farben exists but only as a shadow of its former self. That it survives at all is puzzling. I can only guess that it is some sort of weird PR ploy whereby holocaust victims can make claims against it. Perhaps the real goal is to simply haunt the Jews. On the other hand, there may be latent hopes to rekindle the company under the rise of a new Reich.”…..Sure. Oh, and also an SS General named Reinhard Gehlen helped form the CIA and staffed it with some former SS agents.Chapter 24 talks about the Nazi shenanigans in Antarctica. So apparently Hitler decided that Antarctic would be a great place for a secret base called “Neuschwabenland” and sent a navy detachment down there in 1938. This is where the Spear of Destiny was hidden after the war and there might be a Nazi UFO base down there guarding the entrance to the Hollow Earth.Chapter 25 continues an investigation of the National Archives, which revealed that the OSS went to Tibet for reconnaissance purposes that ended up with the agents giving the Tibetans a large radio transmitter. Apparently the trip was actually meant to find traces of the prior Nazi expedition, which segways into Chapter 26. These expeditions were led by a Dr. Ernst Schafer of the Ahnenerbe for studying the Tibetan political and religious practices, specifically their sexual practices.“On his expeditions, Tibetans were filmed having intimate sex in public, the pictures of which included a fifteen year old girl masturbating in public on a bridge beam.”And you thought Jonathan Byers was a mildly creepy voyeur. Anyway, the Tibetans handed over their 108-volume sacred script to the Nazis, which were later taken by the Soviets. Chapter 27 then claims that five days before Hitler “allegedly” shot himself, the Soviets found six Tibetans lying dead in a ritual circle in the cellar of a Berlin building, one of which was wearing green gloves. Apparently this guy advised Hitler for whatever reason, along with a whole bunch of other occultists. Chapter 28 expands on this by stating that the Bon religion is based on the Black Sun and the mysterious “Goddess”. Moon then proceeds to bash Buddhism for a bit, claiming that it was based upon a patriarchal system. Also, Shangri La is a real thing. There’s a whole discussion about the Bon magick that continues through Chapter 29. Chapter 30 discusses the Shensi Pyramids again, and the Nazi expeditions to Tibet to retrieve magical tablets that would teach them how to obtain a “powerful consciousness”, and had a mining operation meant to dig up a substance vital to this goal. Chapter 31 confirms that the Nazis did indeed go looking for the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail, just like in Indiana Jones. The Romans seized them at first from the Middle East, before the Visigoths took them in the Sack of Rome, and taken to a cave where they were rediscovered by Otto Skorzeny’s commandos. Some of the treasure was dumped in a salt mine and the rest went to Himmler. Somehow the Ark ended up in Ethopia. Chapter 32 talks a bit about magical “White Gold and Occultum”, which was contained in the Ark.Chapter 33 expands on this by claiming that an alien “Blue Race” produced royal bloodlines. Chapter 34 describes Napoleon’s life a bit and states that he used Occultum, which was found in mummies. Chapter 35 talks about Crowley some more and his contact with an entity called LAM, which is linked to the blueprint room Moon mentioned in the previous book.“Magicians in the past have referred to that blueprint room as R’lyeh, a region which contains the sleeping or hidden god Cthulu… All of the gods within R’lyeh are known as the Forgotten Ones which is another name for the Elder Gods or Elder Race. This can be extended as well to the Blue Race.”So Lovecraft was right all along, who knew? Also, Atlantis relied upon an addiction to a phosphorus substance called “Zro”, which allowed them to achieve a higher state of being.Finally, we reach the Epilogue which matter-of-factly states that Prescott Bush, (the father of President George Bush Sr.) literally stole Geronimo’s skull with the Skull and Bones society. Why? So they could eat the residual Occultum residing in the bones of course! This practice apparently continued at Montauk. Moon ends the book with one final exclamation that the Black Sun is the source of creation;“Today, it has come into full view for the world to see. The powers of creation can be accessed by any free soul who wishes to reach for them. The Black Sun is alive and kicking and is no longer reserved for those who would perpetrate evil against man or life. It breathes the fire of life and love. It is the hidden god, Mon, talking. In this sense, it is also the ultimate synchronicity in terms of puns. It is MON-TALK!”And with that God-awful pun out of the way, Moon presents one final Author’s Note warning the readers to stay away from people claiming to sell white gold, with one guy in particular managing to scam a whopping ten thousand idiots.“New Age people are now being targeted for all sorts of scams, particularly in the financial arena. As the Romans used to say ‘Caveat emptor’(buyer beware).“But you can totally trust me guys! Buy my next book!”And with that, we finish Montauk’s Nazi-Tibetan Connection. What did we learn? Well, we learned that there’s a pretty good chance that Brenner may be Eleven’s actual father if we go upon this. Also, we never found out about the child herself in all of this by the way. I guess that’s something to look forward to, right? Also, both the Cthulu Mythos and the Star Wars galaxy are real.Join me next week on Hawkins Book Club and we’ll take a look at Montauk: The Alien Connection.Thanks for reading, and Stay Strange.The Montauk Project: Experiments in Time OverviewMontauk Revisited: Adventures in Synchronicity OverviewPyramids of Montauk: Explorations in Consciousness OverviewEncounter in the Pleiades: An Inside Look at UFOs Overview via /r/StrangerThings