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utterlyhopeful-fics · 5 years ago

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Broken Edges- Part 4

This is my version of fluff so enjoy it while it lasts! I wish I could apologize for the cliffhanger but it was so much fun to write...Who do you think is with our dear Y/N?

Catch up HERE

Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: language, kidnap, flangst (if you squint)

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“What the hell are you doin on the floor, pal?” Bucky’s voice sounded foggy as the message transmitted to Steve’s sensitive ears. He couldn’t hear anything above the high-pitched ring vibrating through his canals and taste the blood from biting the inside of his cheek. He was frozen, not in fear, but shame, humiliation, and unexplainable uncertainty.

Steven Grant Rogers was officially the world’s biggest fuck up. Usually he could talk his way out of any troubling situation merely with his persuasive smile and easy-going personality, but Y/N destroyed him with her ingenuously quick tipped words. Steve kept thinking about the despondent look in her eyes before she abruptly slammed the door in his face. It was guaranteed to torment him not only during his waking hours but without question in the lingering night terrors yet to come.

Out of the blue, a large hand lingered upon his shoulder before the intruder cautiously shook him alerting him of the stranger’s very close proximity; “Steve, everything alright man?” It was Bucky. The only other person in this god forsaken building that probably didn’t want him flayed alive…at least not yet.

“Can I uh, ask why you are on the ground?”

Still stunned from his previous interaction with Y/N; he had no other choice but to man up to what he’d done. The words were like molting lava ready to escape a treacherous terrain but he reverted to simplistic quacking getting to the meat of the breakup. All confidence disappearing, Steve murmured;

“She dumped me.”

Steve felt Bucky’s grasp tighten against his right shoulder, giving him a hard pat for good measure before proceeding onward; “Well, she was pretty upset when I saw her this morning. That girl talks in code majority of the time so I didn’t really get the full story. I guess it didn’t end well based off the dumbfounded expression etched onto your face right now, hmm?”

Rapidly turning his head to meet another set of familiar baby blues, Steve no longer had control of what spewed from his lips at that very moment; “You don’t know shit, Bucky. I thought you were on my side.”

Exasperated, Bucky refuted back quicker than lightning; “Hey man, don’t take your frustrations out on me. I’ll always be on your side but I also have no freaking idea what really is going. So, please enlighten me to what the hell is exactly happening.”

Grunting, Steve no longer saw any point to hiding his demons. Sooner or later, the entire team would know how much of a dick he truly was. Might as well get ahead of the game.

“I slept with Nat. I made a colossal lapse in judgment and carelessly shattered Y/N. That’s what happened.”

Bucky backed away from his friend, unaware of how to process the information he was given. Thinking back to his earlier conversation with Y/N, Bucky finally started to connect the dots and align the context clues. The wheels in his mind rotated on full speed wondering just how Captain America found himself in such a predicament. He tapped his knee in hopes of getting the super soldier up and out of the hallway so they could continue this discussion in private. He definitely needed the gaps filled in for him even if he had to twist his best friend’s arm. Bucky was determined to get to the bottom of this.

�� Y/N’s POV:

The cooling sensation of the door felt wonderful against Y/N’s tense back muscles. Her head clonked against the surface reminding her that she indeed had just kicked Steve Rogers out of her sight, and it felt fucking superb. She sauntered towards her bed faceplanting into an array of cush pillows aligning her headboard. Y/N wasn’t much for history but at that exact moment she felt like an amazon warrior; powerful and assertive. Throughout history, falling in love never got an easy reputation. Lives destroyed, homes ruined, families broken due to people’s selfish belief in the power of love. No one dared speak of its real consequences caged in the darkest corners of humanity. Awaiting the broken hearted like thorny vines on a rose bush; enticing from afar luring in its prey before singe-handedly attacking in the name of devoted adoration. That was certainly one way to lure the gullible and weak minded.

She was neither, at least not anymore. Y/N rolled over gazing at her ceiling. For once the pressure in her chest dissipated, oxygen flowing into her airways. She was able to breath for the first time in months. She should’ve done this sooner. Y/N was now beginning to understand who her knight in shining armor truly was…the woman she had always been. Thinking back on Steve’s trepidation, Y/N spotted that her problem was she allowed herself to be wanted so badly, she couldn’t tell it wasn’t love at all. Initially noticing the beautiful wrapping paper that entailed her gift before understanding who really was layered within Steve Rogers.

Y/N didn’t let herself off the hook that easily. It takes two to tango when dancing with the devil and she eagerly obliged him. She settled for his pretentious impression of friendship permitting it to linger towards sex because she wanted him. Revenge was far too personal but vengeance, vengeance was cunning, detrimental, and brought a sickening grin to Y/N’s rosy lips.

So long to the girl who was sweet and simple. Y/N refused to be what people tell her to be. That Y/N was long dead. But, before she could concoct her masterplan her brain swam mindlessly begging for sleep, her lids weighed heavily as Y/N found her eyes closing and her surroundings go black.

When Y/N awoke, her bones ached in a lethargic manner and she was in desperate demand of vodka; the perfect numbing agent. Her limbs riddled from stress; she stretched, a loud yawn escaping its way out. It was then Y/N realized she wasn’t alone in her room. Impossible. After giving Steve the boot, she had made sure Jarvis had secured all locks and rejected all wandering guests.

A calm red glow caught her attention in the corner of her room. Wanda. Though intrusive, Wanda’s company was pacifically soothing and exactly what Y/N yearned for.

Wanda watched intuitively staring in Y/N’s direction unwillingly to break the peaceful calm.

“Wanda, I’m not blind. I can clearly see you creeping in the corner.”

Wanda sassed back at rapid fire; “Oh my god, she speaks! Wow, for a second I thought you were dead.”

A giggle passed Y/N’s lips, it felt refreshing to laugh; “I thought you read minds. Didn’t you get the memo I’m in mourning?”

Clearly amused, Wanda accepted Y/N’s bait; “Hmm, who died?”

Y/N bit the inside of her lip thinking twice before speaking; “The old Y/N. She’s dead and gone.”

“Interesting. And who is gracing my presence as we speak?”

“A badass bitch who no longer has a filter to deal with Captain America’s bullshit. That’s who.”

Instinctively, Wanda blushed unable to stop her powers from intruding upon Y/N’s thoughts.

“I’m sooo sorry, Y/N. I freaking slipped and please believe me when I say I didn’t mean to…”

Wanda neared her bed sitting at the corners edge, not to close but just enough. Knowing her darkest fruition finally felt quite liberating even if she hated to admit it. Of course, Y/N was irritated that Wanda unintentionally read her most secretive thoughts, she couldn’t fathom being mad at her friend for trying to help.

“I can’t believe him! Out of all people and Nat knew how you felt about him? I’m all about keeping the peace…but this is unacceptable.”

A breath whooshed through Y/N’s chest as she gathered herself; “You’re telling me…Steve almost said he loved me before I stopped him. There were so many things I wanted to tell him. But honestly, I hated knowing he’d been inside of her…given her such an intimate part of himself. Please tell me I’m not crazy?”

Y/N hated bringing Wanda, the idealistic middle (wo)man into this brass situation, but the white elephant in the room needed to be addressed at some point or another.

“Я понимаю мою любовь.” (I understand my love)

“я чувствую себя таким разбитым” (I feel so broken)

“You don’t have to explain. I literally…. get it. I just want to punch him in that rightful nose of his. Jesus! That man is infuriating.”

“He wasn’t always that way. Trust me.”

“But you love hi—”

“No….: Shaking her head in vast disagreement. “No. No. No. Please don’t say that, please.”

“…if you insist Y/N. I’m on your side regardless but I’m also bipartisan if Stark asks.”

Y/N couldn’t deny the inevitable; “Thank you…. Thank you for being a friend, Wanda.”

------

Y/N’s resounding feelings were more than Wanda could handle without alcohol’s boost of influence. So, she stupidly made her way towards Tony’s lounge promising Wanda they’d catch up later. Nothing better than a little peace and quiet Y/N prayed, banking on its abandoned state.

Upon entrance, Y/N’s mouth watered, her throat parched as she appreciated the overly stocked bar Stark was so keen on maintaining. Vodka soda with extra lime was her main pick of poison. She reveled in the slow burn down into her lungs, she moaned with pleasure.

This was exactly what the doctor ordered. Y/N started to worry about being left alone with her thoughts for too long would be a bad thing, or a more challenging way of figuring her shit out.

Of course, Tony chose the finest of leather couches who’s price she probably didn’t dare guess. Y/N fell right into its cushiony heaven trying to not spill her drink in the process. She brought the chilled glass to her lips before gulping the remainder of the iced beverage no longer in existence. With her heels kicked up and feelings at bay for the meantime, Y/N briefly closed her eyes welcoming the darkness.

An enigmatic voice came out of the corner like a ghost lingering in the shadows, startling Y/N.

“Y/N. So very nice to see you again.”

A voice morphed from her very own nightmares.

“Hail Hydra моя милая богиня” (my sweet girl).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: @kaithezaftig @awesomefanficlover @marvelfansworld @sergeantjbuckybarnes @hista-girl @calwitch @silent-loucidity@flightofthefantasies @lovely-geek @shannon124 @hulksmashin-bannerpackin@siren-queen03 @heyiamthatbitch @bake-motherfucka-bake @girls-inred @kielemarie @donner5822 @sophiria @iluvsumbucky @xstevenat

#steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #steve rogers imagine #marvel #marvel imagine #fanfic #my writing #broken edges #fanfiction #steve rogers x reader angst #avengers imagine #avengers #mcu

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aisleb · 5 years ago

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tearlessrain · 6 years ago

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time to subject myself to Dracula: The Dark Prince, aka another bad movie starring another dude from black sails. this time with 100% less horny on main because my only real motivation for watching it is it truly looks to be a whole new caliber of horrible and I have to see it.

witness my standards for incomprehensibly bad movies being raised prohibitively high in every way imaginable under the cut

I seriously doubt that.

this was made in 2013 by the way, not 1994 as the graphic design of that logo might suggest

oh good, once again we’re opening with an exposition narrator. except this time it’s a woman and she has less vocal inflection and emotional investment than an amazon echo.

I feel like she’s gonna tell me to turn left in 800ft

it feels like a dragon age epilogue, but just. worse.

WE ARE WATCHING A TRULY HIGH QUALITY MOVIE TONIGHT MY FRIENDS

I can’t even describe how bad this is, you really need the sound. that’s where the true lack of quality shines through. siri’s depressed sister is talking about pre-vampire dracula’s epic feats in battle to more weird sepia dioramas and the dying soldiers sound like they hired muppets to voice them

HOLY WIG BATMAN

also this dude is obnoxiously jovial considering he’s supposed to be dracula, even if this is pre-vampire

oh no dracula’s advisors, who all wear black hooded robes and scowl ominously, have betrayed him and killed his wife, how unexpected

someone drew these, looked at them, and thought “yeah that’s good enough to go in the final movie”

the characters are speaking both english and what I assume is... romanian or something? transylvanian? it’s not spanish or welsh I can tell you that much. anyway there are no subtitles and also no rhyme or reason to which they’re speaking at any given time so I hope I’m not missing anything important. probably not.

so like... they killed his wife, yes. and he went on a murderfest in what appears to be a church in revenge, makes sense. now a dude who... I think maybe he’s supposed to be a priest or something? but he wasn’t speaking english so I can’t be sure, then a voice over said “I have killed for god, the hand that fought for him will now be turned against him” but I’m unclear on who was speaking. this movie is an absolute clusterfuck and we aren’t even five minutes in yet. this is still the prologue.

now zombie alexa claims dracula was cursed with immortality “in punishment for his defiance” but I’m still not sure... what defiance. he killed the dudes who murdered his wife and that’s somehow not okay despite his apparent status as a war hero, a designation that implies a LOT of killing has already happened?

fucking finally, the title screen. usually a prologue clarifies what a movie is about but I went in thinking I knew and now have absolutely no idea what I’m watching.

a carriage drawn by friesians is rolling through a misty forest with wolf howling sound bites playing at random in the background to vaguely urgent music, now this is what I’m here to see.

nevermind the carriage is too slow so they’re leaving it because that’s a thing people do (?????)

“Lady Arwen, we cannot delay”

seriously though everyone’s mumbling so much I can’t understand them much better than when they were speaking whatever the other language was

BOOTLEG XENA RIDES AGAIN

but this time she’s accompanied by esme. we don’t know who esme is yet either.

there she goes

and now the knights are being attacked by hilarious squeaky goblin things? who I guess are led by this power rangers villain with, again, an unintentionally hilarious voice. it’s like a bad batman impression.

with every minute that passes I become less certain of what I’m actually watching.

they’re looking for the “light bringer” and telepathically overseen by the world’s most halfassed lestat dracula

they’ve also got some random prisoners in a cage wagon

okay the prisoners are being taken to dracula’s castle and I’m sorry for such an image-heavy post but I NEED you to understand the community theater level of set design/quality we’re dealing with here

“what is that?” cardboard and mod podge is my guess

so far the only thing esme has done is fall off her horse and be knocked unconscious, and now a Roving Band of Misogynists has appeared to harass Bootleg Xena 3.0 in the most generic way possible (the words “what ‘ave we got ‘ere” accompanied by a chorus of malicious cackling and some whistles have been spoken)

oooh no the ringleader of the Roving Misogynists has been given a name, and it’s ~Lucien~. I have a horrible feeling that I’m about to bear witness to the worst romantic subplot in the history of cinema.

oh for... I thought at least bootleg xena 3.0 would be a Strong Female Character and fight them off, but she just rapped lucien on the head with her sword and then they stole her very important box and left as obnoxiously as they came

OH NO SHE’S ASKING TO GO WITH THEM, SOMEHOW THAT’S HER PLAN I THINK I’M RIGHT SHE’S GONNA HOOK UP WITH LUCIEN AND IT’S GOING TO BE HORRIBLE.

“trust me” she says to esme, who, wisely, obviously does not.

I appreciate the timely thunderclap every single time the castle comes on screen

who the fuck are you, did you wander onto the wrong movie set

nope okay they’re not gonna explain that shot at all we’re just moving on to a shot of a weird angel shadow doing slow flamenco moves on the ceiling while ominously gurgling, and the prisoners being led into the throne room

“what’s happening to us?” I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE SAME THING, PRISONER #3

oh never mind that guy from before wasn’t a priest, he is remfield, chancellor of this kingdom, which means the last scene he was in makes even less sense

AKSLDGHJFGAKDLFJGHKAJGHFDKLFDS;GJokay so. remfield introduced himself then said “I will see that your needs are tended to.” then dracula in his new white contacts gets up from his shadowy throne, circumnavigates the cluster of prisoners, sniffs them dramatically, and walks back to his throne. remfield then says, “come, I will see that your needs are tended to” because proofreading is for COWARDS

now remfield is... literally giving the prisoners a tour of the castle and going on the “oh you’re our guests and many pleasures and adventures await you” speech and somehow the prisoners are accepting this despite the fact that they were just carted in on a barred wagon in shackles and got sniffed by a bad alucard cosplayer. they have a fucking harpist.

seriously, who the fuck are you

she’s just been twirling around in the background of this entire scene for no discernible reason no matter what rooms they go into

what the hell am I watching

yeah they’re just going for that incredibly suspicious food and also seem weirdly okay with the ambient clusters of scantily clad lesbians no one will explain okay they deserve whatever happens to them

WHOA TITS apparently this movie is a different rating than I thought

remfield: the newcomers have settled in

dracula: I d o n ‘ t l i k e s t r a n g e r s

then why pray tell have you brought them directly into your home in chains. I cannot stress enough how avoidable this situation was for you my dude

“just think sire, once the light bringer is in your possession no one need die again” “except those who defy me” [ominous chime as the angel shadow on the ceiling continues its sensuous flamenco dance]

meanwhile in the misty blue filter forest of eternal night, some guy in a tricorn finds a gold amulet that I think bootleg xena 3.0 dropped, and the power ranger villain rides menacingly in a random direction for a few seconds

I’m still waiting on whether this masterful display of cinematic calvinball has any cohesive story to it.

ah joy and we’re back to The Non-Adventures of Xena 3.0, Esme, and the Roving Misogynists

as an aside, I’m not calling her that just to be dumb, I’m calling her that because they still haven’t given her a name even though her sidekick got one in the first five minutes

they’ve opened the box and revealed... the light bringer, which is a wooden staff. because it is not shiny gold, the roving misogynists regard it with confounded disgrunglement and scoff at xena 3.0′s insistence that it can defeat dracula

these guys sound like what an eleven year old thinks gangs of ne’er-do-wells sound like. like cartoon weasels, if the weasels were also mediocre pirates who have heard of women, conceptually, but never seen one. like goblins in a pre-written D&D campaign run by a slightly overwhelmed first time DM.

HUR DUR WALKING STICK NOT TREASURE, WOMAN DUMB

it’s what cain used to slay abel, apparently. given that zombie alexa mentioned that dracula is the descendent of abel, this leaves us with the terrifying implication that someone did put at least some vestige of effort into writing this movie.

oh good she’s finally gonna fight lucien

no she failed again. please someone just punch the shit out of lucien so he’ll stop.

NO WHY ARE YOU MAKING OUT STOP IT GOD HAVE SOME STANDARDS WOMAN. STOP PLAYING FLOATY ROMANTIC MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND THEY ARE LITERALLY STILL STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ENTIRE BAND OF ROVING MISOGYNISTS

I thought it might at least be a trick but no she is actually, genuinely starstruck over this profoundly mediocre olde-timey frat boy who called her “sweetheart” while she was trying to explain to him why the ancient dracula-defeating relic was important.

this guy.

we did it boys, we found a worse love story than twilight

also I just. I wish I could convey with words the way the roving misogynists react to every single thing lucien and sometimes xena 3.0 says like the world’s worst greek chorus in a literally neverending stream

lucien (post makeout and xena 3.0 explaining again that the relic is ancient and powerful and they’ve searched for ages to find it): well we may not be knights but we can respect that

[cacophony of rowdy but understated agreement]

lucien: what do you think boys, should we give it back?

[assorted grumbles of assent]

xena 3.0: hm, a thief with a conscience

[gruff mercenary-esque chuckling]

lucien: maybe even a heart

[chorus of “ooooooOOOooh”s and some whistles]

it just goes on like that in every scene they happen to be physically adjacent to, they never shut up but also never actually contribute or say anything meaningful

ah, the mysterious leonardo has appeared. I think he was the one they were trying to take the light bringer to so that’s handy

“what is happening here? what is this flirtation?? is this the people to share your sacred secrets with???” - leonardo, the only remotely rational person in the entire movie

oh he is schooling these idiots, finally someone with sense. it’s bouncing right off of lucien, but at least he’s saying it.

“the scourge” - leonardo

“scourge!” “scourge!?” “scourge?” “hrgghhg??” “hrrm...” - the roving misogynists

power ranger villain and his squeaking goblins vs leonardo, the most useless female leads of all time, and the roving misogynists. who will win.

not the people watching this movie, I can tell you that much.

oh no, the lightbringer isn’t working. this will do nothing to convince the roving misogynists that it isn’t a walking stick

oop, wilhelm scream

oh no lucien has picked up the light bringer

goddamn it he’s the chosen one isn’t he

yep he activated the stick and now we all have to suffer

oh xena 3.0′s coming for power ranger villain maybe she’ll actually do something

nope she bounced off him and now he’s grabbed her and hauled her onto his horse

“you’re coming with me” he says in his weird batman voice, to make sure the audience can tell that he is in fact taking her with him

and esme has yelled “no” to make sure we remember that she’s in the movie

wait what the. did lucien just yell “xena” is that her actual name what the fuck. what the fuck. I had to have misheard that. okay I can’t tell what he’s saying for sure but someone’s bound to say her name again at some point in the movie so I’ll revisit that.

and on that note, I think I’ll end here, because there ended up being a LOT more to unpack in this movie than I expected, it’s after midnight, and I’m tired.

tomorrow, we follow lucien as he presumably goes to save some lady he wildly disrespected and then made out with one time whose name may or may not actually be xena, and hopefully figure out what the hell is even going on with dracula, remfield, and their castle full of artfully strewn half naked harpist lesbians and dancing ceiling shadows. because right now I really don’t have time to unpack all that, and I have a feeling it will only get worse.

#this is #a masterpiece #no description of mine can hope to do it justice #hypnotically incomprehensible #tearless liveblogs

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 7 years ago

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Tall Drink of Water

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Tall!Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N is tired of towering over men.

Word Count: 3,581 [Post-Civil War] - One Shot

-- I wrote Bucky as though he’s made a lot of progress in his recovery, mentally and emotionally. He’s a lot more confident here than my other one-shots and fics. Hope you don’t mind.

Bucky still hated going out in public. But when the team had an opportunity to extend their time in New York City through the weekend, he stayed out of nostalgia. He missed Brooklyn, especially when he got stuck too long at the compound upstate. However, he could’ve overlooked the sentimentality to his home city if he knew that going to a club was part of the deal.

They’d been in town for an important meeting with various government officials. Most of the Avengers didn’t speak, but it was important for them to attend and show support. Bucky always despised being paraded around like a trophy. For him it felt more like he was the problem child of their twisted family. A lot of the public still hated him for his past.

It was a strange transition from going to press conferences and meetings to a fancy club that had a line outside, stretching to the length of an entire city block.

Tony was like a god at these places. The man never looked more in his element.

Bucky didn’t know what to think when Nat said this was a toned down version of Stark. Apparently, before Pepper, he was even more of a party boy.

Luckily they were in somewhat of a VIP area, giving Bucky the space he needed from a room full of strangers. He held a drink in his hand and looked down at the dancing below. He couldn’t get drunk without the help of Thor’s crazy alien drinks. Bucky just mostly used drinks as a prop to fit in.

The lights in the club were making him tense. The bass of the music was starting to give him a headache. Anything that weakened his situational awareness and observational skills irritated him.

Natasha and Steve had made their way to Bucky and stood on either side of him now. Steve looked just as miserable as he was, but he hid it better from the others. While Bucky had a face of murder, Steve just looked uncomfortable.

Nat, however, could adapt to any situation. Whether she wanted to be here or not, no one would ever be able to tell.

“Did you see that Y/N’s here?” Natasha asked quietly.

Bucky’s body tensed at the name. “That so?” If it was anyone other than Steve and Nat, his feigned boredom would actually be convincing.

Y/N was one of the few agents that Fury had practically raised. Natasha was fond of her even though their age gap kept their training mostly separate. Y/N worked for SHIELD and was one of the few that Fury still trusted after the attack on D.C. Every once in awhile, she would work with the Avengers on certain missions.

Originally, Bucky was shocked when Natasha told him Y/N was trained in espionage, her specialty being seduction. When he first met Y/N, she seemed so innocent and sweet. She introduced himself with the most cheerful smile. He struggled to imagine Y/N using and manipulating her body and charm to take down the enemy. Nat said Y/N could only handle her job if she was a master of compartmentalizing her life, which was why she seemed so normal in her personal life. “She’s visiting some old gal pals of hers.” Nat added with a knowing smirk and pointed below.

Bucky couldn’t help but let a shy smirk slip across his lips. Y/N was easy to spot in the crowd of dancers and drinkers.

Beside her beauty, intelligence, and strength… there was one thing that made Y/N stick out even more: Her statuesque height.

Y/N looked like a supermodel, with legs for days that somehow still moved with the grace of a ballerina and the speed of an olympic track star.

Bucky didn’t get to see her at the Avengers compound all that often, unfortunately. But he always smirked at the sight of Y/N towering over the majority of male agents.

Y/N was just barely shorter than Bucky and Steve. Some days it seemed like she was the exact same height as the two super-soldiers. Whenever she had a conversation with them, it was eye-to-eye.

However, Bucky swore she was always wearing heels when she wasn’t training. They were never the short ones either. The shoes made her stand out even more, putting her well over 6’2 on most days.

Bucky frowned when he took in the scene around Y/N. She was with four of her girl friends. They were all being chatted up by guys…except for Y/N. She seemed to be invisible to them. Bucky couldn’t decide if he felt relief for not having to deal with the jealousy or if he felt bad that the most beautiful woman in the club wasn’t being worshipped for the goddess she was. “Why aren’t any of them talking to her?” Steve asked out loud as if he had been reading Bucky’s mind.

“Have you seen her?” Nat answered.

“Yes. She’s beautiful.” Bucky retorted without thinking. He winced, knowing he just outed himself.

But Nat smirked knowingly. Of course she was already aware of Bucky’s crush. “Easy, tiger.” She purred.

“What did you mean?” Steve brought them back to the original question.

“Y/N’s intimidating.”

“What?” Steve looked at her, genuinely confused by what she was saying. He’d always respected Y/N for the amazing agent she was and the kind friend she’d become to the Avengers. If he had his way, he would already have her recruited to the team full-time.

“Y/N is basically an Amazon. She’s taller than the majority of men. It doesn’t help that along with her height, she’s also drop-dead-gorgeous and brilliant. Men cower at her feet.” Nat took a sip of her drink, amusing mostly herself with her dramatic description.

“Men are idiots.” Steve scoffs at the ridiculousness of it all.

“She looks miserable.” Bucky mumbled.

And she did. Y/N could only handle being ignored for so long. She just wanted to hang out with her friends. It’d been so long since she got to see them and now she’d been exiled from the conversation because her friends were more desirable.

Bucky threw back his drink and started walking to the stairs when he saw Y/N excuse herself and make her way to the bar.

“Think he’s finally making his move?” Steve asked Nat as they watched Bucky move down the stairs, leaving the VIP area.

“He better be.” Nat smirked. This would be her entertainment for the night.

Bucky watched as Y/N strutted to the bar as if she were on a runway. Even with her height, she was rocking thigh high boots with quite the heel. Men watched her with intimidation. Women eyed her long legs with envy. Bucky knew to other people, it would seem like a compliment. But he could only imagine it would be annoying that people only acknowledged her for the genetic makeup she was given. She probably felt like a circus act when crowds gawked at her like that.

Y/N leaned on the bar, waiting patiently for a bartender to notice her.

Bucky watched for a little too long because a slimy older man took advantage of the empty spot beside her at the bar. He had to be 20 years older than her and seemed like the rich man type, trying to lure in young and beautiful women for all the wrong reasons.

Plus, Bucky didn’t appreciate the intrusive way the man’s eyes kept looking Y/N up and down like she was prey.

There was no way Y/N was oblivious to the man’s presence. But she completely ignored him. Bucky decided he wanted to watch the interaction, fully knowing Y/N could kill this man in 50 ways without anyone in the bar ever even seeing. She didn’t need any saving.

“You’re a tall woman.” Out of all the opening lines he could have used, and the man just had to go with that one.

She raised an eyebrow and observed him. “And you’re old.”

He scoffed, but managed to hide any hurt caused from her statement.

“Oh, so were we not just making obvious observations about each other?” Y/N toyed brutally.

He ignored her sass and leaned in closer. “You must be a model, right?”

Y/N looked down at him, using her height to emasculate him. “No.” Her voice was cold and even. If she had a dollar for every time the few brave men that hit on her used that as their pickup line…

“Are you lying? I was just at fashion week and I swear you look so familiar. What agency manages you? Ford? IMG? Elite?”

Bucky smiled when Y/N blatantly rolled her eyes at him.

The bartender finally brought over Y/n’s order, which to Bucky’s amusement was two shots of tequila.

“I told you, I’m not a model.” Y/N could not sound more bored as she sprinkled salt onto her hand.

“Is one of those shots for me, sweetheart?” The guy was unfazed by her blatant disinterest.

Y/N threw one back, not even wincing from the burn. “No,” she responded. Then snatched the second one, drinking it too.

The man was either an idiot or insane, but he leaned even closer and attempted to whisper in Y/N’s ear.

It drove Bucky crazy that he couldn’t hear it. But he assumed from the man’s face that he was saying something disgusting and sexual to her.

Y/N remained composed and raised an eyebrow at the man when he finally pulled away. “Oh, it’s my legs your interested in?” She smirked evilly. “These legs? They’ve killed at least two dozen men. They’re stronger than they look. When I say kill, I don’t mean it as an expression. It’s a move called a flying head scissor takedown. If you do it right, the impact and twisting motion actually breaks the victim’s neck…instantly killing them.” At this point, the man was no longer entertained. His face had gone pale and he finally realized that Y/N’s bored act was actually the calm demeanor of an assassin.

Mumbling something Bucky couldn’t understand, the man escaped into the crowd.

Y/N had the audacity to smile at the reaction. But she knew she had to return to her friends now. Even if she was invisible to the men fighting for their attention, she couldn’t hide forever.

Hips swaying seductively, she took a few steps away from the bar and suddenly spotted Bucky.

“Sergeant Barnes!” The way her face lit up with the warmest smile, it was like she was a completely different person than the woman that just threatened a man’s life.

“When are you going to start calling me Bucky?” He asked.

She slammed her palm to her forehead like an adorable dork. “I’m sorry. I know. You’ve asked me like a million times. I’m sorry, Bucky.”

“It’s fine.” He smiled. “So that was rather entertaining.”

Y/N’s eyes widened and he swore she blushed. “Oh…god, that’s so embarrassing.”

“More like badass and hilarious.” Bucky chuckled. “He got what he deserved. And It was a terrifying reminder not to get on your bad side, doll.”

Y/N couldn’t help but smirk at his nickname.

“It’s nice to see a familiar face. This night is… Well, yeah. Never mind.”

“Not having a good time either?” He offered. She shrugged. “You and me both.”

“I gotta be honest,” Y/N laughed. “I never thought I’d run into you at a place like this.”

Bucky pointed to the VIP section. She instantly recognized Steve and Nat talking to each other and other Avengers or agents. “Trust me. It wasn’t my decision.”

Just as she was about to say something, a group of man passed by Y/N. They rubbed against her side unnecessarily. There was plenty of space to move by without touching her. One had a little too much liquid courage and turned around once he got by. He looked Y/N up and down before whistling.

“Is the WNBA in town?” His friends chuckled before dragging him further into the club.

Y/N rolled her eyes before she glanced at Bucky. But he wasn’t looking back at her. Instead, he was glaring after the man like he was about to murder him.

“Bucky?” She grabbed his attention gently. Her voice made his rage disappear for a brief second. “It’s not worth it. Believe me.”

He realized he was about to lose his time with her. She was trying to return to her friends.

Maybe it was seeing Y/N only getting the worst type of attention from men. Or that she clearly felt a weird mix of being undesirable and a fetish fulfillment. Or maybe it was how beautiful she looked, the few inches she had on him meaning nothing. But Bucky felt a surge of bravery he could never muster before.

“Y/N…Do you want to get out of here?” He asked her with a hopeful glow in his blue eyes. She looked taken aback. “There’s this dive bar not too far away. It’s quiet and dingy. People don’t bother me there.”

Y/N was about to say she wish she could, but she had to go back to her friends. However when she glanced over in their direction, she saw that they were still talking to the same group of guys. Clearly they were interested.

She turned back around to face him. “Actually I would love to get the hell out of here.”

“Do you need to say bye to your friends?” He asked carefully.

“No. They won’t miss me.” She smiled at his thoughtfulness.

Bucky loved seeing Y/N visibly relax when they grabbed two stools at the bar he’d mentioned. There wasn’t a crowd and no one even acknowledged their presence. Classic rock had replaced the heavy bass of EDM music from the club.

For the first time in awhile, Bucky felt like his old self. The charming and flirtatious James Buchanan Barnes was brought out of hiding. It surprise him just as much as Y/N. He’d forgotten how good it felt to genuinely make a woman laugh, especially when it was her.

Neither of them knew how much time had passed. But they had been talking for quite some time and laughing even more. Bucky watched Y/N carefully while she took a sip of her drink.

“Can I ask you a… ugh… delicate question?” He finally had the courage to bring it up now that they’d grown so comfortable.

“Oh god. Please don’t ask how tall I am.” She groaned with a laugh. But the way her body tensed, it was obvious she half expected him to.

“Don’t insult me. I can accurately predict a person’s height and weight within the first 15 seconds of seeing them.” Bucky teased.

“Oh really?” Y/N rolled her eyes. Then she started discretely pointing out random patrons in the bar and Bucky would give his estimates. The game was innocent and hilarious. Eventually Y/N had to stop from laughing so hard.

“Alright. Alright. What were you actually going to ask me though?” She urged.

“You don’t seem to like when people only see your height.” Bucky was treading carefully. “So why do you wear heels every chance you get?”

Y/N gave him a smirk, appreciating how mindful he was being.

She took in a deep breath and wondered where to start.

“When I first started training, I was only 18. They made me wear heels 24/7. If walking, running, and fighting in them wasn’t second nature to me, I never would’ve made it. There’s a reason only women have truly mastered the art of seduction. I take the most feminine things, the things men obsess over in a woman and I use it all against them.”

Now Y/N looked down at her thigh high boots and lifted her right leg slightly. “They make me feel like myself. They’re a part of me.” Then she smiled mischievously. “Plus, it’s a good way to weed out the men who are easily emasculated.”

But the amusement ended when she thought of something else. “Sometimes I just wish my height wasn’t the first and only thing people noticed about me. Doesn’t help with dating either.”

Bucky shook his head. “I’m still struggling to believe that, doll.”

“Come on, Bucky! I know you saw me with my friends tonight. It’s ironic really, my job is to seduce targets. And I’m really fucking good at it. But when I’m in my own life, just being myself… I’m invisible to men.”

“You’ve never been invisible to me.” Bucky wanted to kick himself. It was too much, too son. He probably freaked her out now.

Y/N’s eyes just widened at his confession. But they didn’t look scared. Instead, she looked flattered and her cheeks blushed the prettiest shade of pink he’d ever seen.

“You forget that my best friend used to feel that way too.”

She nodded and smiled timidly. How could she forget about Steve?

“Y/N?” He surprised her with how gentle his voice sounded. “Would-Would you want to do this again some time?”

“Really?” She had a hard time believing that the infamous Bucky Barnes wanted to hang out with her.

He squinted. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

She took in a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

“Do I need to explain myself?” Bucky asked blithely.

Y/N giggled a little. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

Bucky took a sip of beer and shook his head at her inability to see the truth. “I’ve kind of been in love with you for awhile, doll. To be more specific, since you beat the crap out of that recruit after he said something rude about me during training.”

Y/N jaw dropped slightly.

He laughed at her reaction and added, “You thought I didn’t see it. But I did.”

For once in her life, Y/N didn’t know what to say to a man.

She knew how to manipulate, tell them what they wanted to hear, get them to do what she wanted. But this was her. This was her real life. And no man had ever surprised her like this before.

Bucky continued. “I just have to say this… because I think you need to hear it.” His blue eyes stared her down and he gripped her hand. “Don’t let any man make you think you’re anything less than beautiful… height and everything. Taller than him or not, if you love him and he loves you, screw what everyone else thinks.”

He paid for their drinks and got up from the stool. “I’m not saying this because I want to take you out on a date. But if you agreed to, I’d probably be the happiest man in the world.” He threw on his leather jacket. “I’m telling you because you should never make yourself smaller for anyone.”

Y/N was stunned into silence. There was no training that could have made her predict such a speech.

But Bucky misinterpreted her quiet shock as a polite refusal.

His streak of courage had ended now.

He looked down at his shoes bashfully. “I…I had a lot of fun with you tonight, Y/N.”

Then he started to walk away, not wanting to force Y/N to deny him verbally.

The sight of Bucky fleeing finally broke Y/N out of her daze. “Bucky, wait!” She jumped up after him. Even with the heeled boots, she caught up with him easily and with utter grace.

“You didn’t even let me give you an answer.” She scolded. His brow furrowed. “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

HIs jaw dropped slightly.

“Is it your turn to be surprised now?” Y/N nudged with a grin. “I don’t beat people up for just anyone, Bucky.” She admitted, remembering the day Bucky was referencing. One of the young and overconfident recruits had muttered something about Bucky being a terrorist and a traitor. It was purposefully loud enough for Bucky to hear. But the Winter Soldier was used to those things happening every once in awhile and chose to ignore it. Y/N, however, didn’t take the same higher ground.

“Apparently, the feelings are mutual. And I find it infuriating that your the one man I can’t seem to read. Otherwise I would’ve saved us a lot of time and done this…”

Combing her right hand through his shaggy hair, Y/N brought Bucky’s face to her and crashed her lips against his. Y/N couldn’t deny that she loved not having to dip or tilt her neck to find Bucky’s kiss. They were equals.

Bucky had to overcome his initial shock before his body responded. Was he dreaming? This all seemed too good to be true. But he’d be damned if he didn’t live it up before he woke up.

Bucky gripped her waist and his lips fought for control of the kiss. Y/N didn’t seem to mind his initiative one bit.

Eventually they had to pull away to catch their breath.

“Jesus, doll.” Bucky sighed through a love struck smirk.

“I figured it would take the edge off for the next date.” “I’ll say…” Bucky laughed. But he wasn’t quite done kissing her yet.

So as a tall girl, constantly reading fics where authors emphasize how tiny and short Y/N is gets real old. And after the reception of my past post , I decided to do something about it.

I was thinking about writing a Steve Rogers x Tall!Reader one too. But we’ll see how this one goes first.

HERE IT IS: Society Says

#marvel fic #tall reader #tall!reader insert #bucky x tall!reader #bucky barnes x tall!reader #bucky x tall reader #bucky x tall!fem!reader #bucky fluff #bucky x tall female reader #tall girls #marvel tall girls #bucky one shot

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italicwatches · 6 years ago

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Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online - Episode 06

I should probably watch some anime today. It’s Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online, episode 06! Here we GO!

-It’s February 11th, just a bit after the Squad Jam. And LLENN is in GGO, down in the cash shop where THEY HAVE A NEW P90 IN STOCK FUCK YEAHHHHHHH! P-chan, daughter of P-chan, is born! LLENN loves her submachine guns so much. It’s a wholesome love between a woman and her gun.

-And hey, there’s Eva! What’s the Boss doing in a place like this?

-Opening! You know, sidenote, I’m wondering if GGO has some level of self-identity thing going on. Like, it’s one thing that Karen and Saki each happened to get a form that matched who they wanted to be…But the entire team of tiny girls who wish they were bigger and got more respect, waking up in GGO as tall, buff amazons? On top of Karen, who wants to be cute and adorable and the little spoon, waking up as literally the smallest size the system allows? That feels a little too unlikely to just be the odds.

-The 15th. It’s the post-credits from episode one, as the whole of Saki’s crew is there watching the highlights from Karen’s performance in the Squad Jam, and seeing just how much crazy shit she pulled off before they fought her. You’re a MONSTER, Karen-san! A total BADASS!

-Karen is still trying to properly hook this gaggle of adorable schoolgirls she’s somehow befriended, to the terrifying amazons who pushed her to the brink. Saki is all huffy about how Karen is still kind of scared of Eva. Well what about Sophie, huh? Look at their gunner, she’s huge!

-Yeah but she has a gentler demeanor, as we start getting connections. So, Saki is Eva. Kana, with the bob cut, is Sophie. Mi, the blonde, has the sharpshooter Toma, and has learned to drive stick because she’s been overseas. The one with those cutesy rounded eyebrows, Shiori, is Roza the other heavy-gunner. Their second sniper is Moe, who is deeply embarrassed about how she puts on such cool airs in the game. And then there’s Risa, who is Tanya the scout, the closest to anyone’s real self…But still tall and muscled, just the sleek muscles of a runner.

-So that’s the whole gang! By schoolday, they are but the humble high school rhythmic gymnastics club. But by night, they are a vicious crew…And they’re here to talk strategy. They want to walk through the entire encounter and figure out where they dropped the ball! They’re in your care, Karen-san!

-Episode 06! “SAO Loser”

-Also they devour the snacks she gives them because they are, after all, athletic teenagers. And it turns out they’ve only known each other since last April, when they all joined the club…And they were fucking terrible. It’s actually why they got into VR gaming, to learn to communicate physically and sync up properly…After their coach got fed up and quit on them.

-As for why GGO? IT was the fact that it was so different, so far out of their usual context, that they could start from zero and not the outright negative position they were in with their actual sports. A crisp, clear goal, that they all knew they knew nothing about accomplishing. And of course, it’s just plain a good game, so they got super hooked on it!

-Which is why now they’ve got to push for victory in the next proper Squad Jam! What about rhythmic gymnastics…? That too. BUT ESPECIALLY GGO. Now, will you be in the next one?!

-Karen’s…Not so sure. This was kind of sprung on her. She’s not gonna say no, but she can’t say yes. And she doesn’t even know if M will keep playing, let alone want to team up with her again going forward…

-…Saki is sad now. But eventually, they’re all ready to head out, and Karen’s got to get ready for her big trip back to her parents’ place for spring break. Saki is still sad about not having a LLENN to war against in the inevitable next Squad Jam.

-The 24th. Karen’s back in her hometown, out with Miyu, and kind of wishing neither of those things were the case judging by the look on her face. Miyu keeps taking photos of her new look and she saw the highlight reel of you and that M guy! You kicked ASS! Tell her everything, everything! What made you want to split up from M? That was BANANAS!

-So Miyu learns everything…And yeah this Pito chick sounds like a nutter. Just make sure she never knows your meatspace identity and you’ll be fine. Oh, hey, this karaoke bar has some new Elsa songs! You wanna do one? Miyu’s gonna do one. They are gonna get that next set of concert tickets!

-A few days later, Karen’s on the plane back home, and gets a promo email saying that the second Squad Jam has just been announced for early April.

-Sidenote, these things don’t make any sense. Like, look, it was…fifteen teams to start, right? That means the absolute maximum player count in a single Squad Jam is 90 people, holding the 2-6 size limit. Both of the major battle royale centric games right now, PUBG and especially Fortnite (but especially Bart) can rack up a hundred players in…about 30 seconds, give or take. Even in their own squad modes, from what I’ve seen it doesn’t take more than a few minutes to get into a match, tops.

-Now, okay, that’s on an American game audience, with something that uses heavy amounts of cross-play and can be played on an incredible variety of devices. So I will freely admit it’s not a 1:1 comparison to VR. But unless the Japanese server only has a couple thousand people on it, tops, getting 30-90 people into a match shouldn’t be the kind of thing so huge it only happens once every few months…Because if it is, how the hell is the game able to keep running and pay for what I have to imagine would be much better servers than an ordinary FPS, to deal with the immense amount of data a full-dive VR player would be sending?

-I know I’m overthinking it, and they’re getting the feel of gaming right. It’s just…I don’t know. Kind of weird the way they’re trying to make the Squad Jams, as an entire concept, into these big Events when that’s not how this shit works. Anyways, it’s another personal sponsorship, with some fine tuned rules, and any of the top four teams are pre-seeded if they choose to enter.

-Oh, and then Saki emailed Karen immediately because WOOOOO SECOND SQUAD JAM! Also, her message is full of more emojis and text emoticons than I think I’ve ever seen in one place. Also Saki wants to eat her treats again so please invite them over sometime soon. …Shit, that kid is blunt.

-When Karen gets back to her place, she finds a guy waiting for her who gets WAYYYY too close and it’s M. So that removes one possibility I had. And now she’s twice freaked out because how the fuck did he find her? Can they go somewhere private to talk about that? Because shit’s gotten Real.

-And that’s how they end up in a little cafe area in the apartment building, I think? Hard to say. But, bluntly, M has to admit that he has no proof of any of his claims, but there’s some shit you need to know. Also, he gives a real name, one Asougi Goushi. Goushi is RIGHT UP ON HER and begging for her help because people’s lives are, for real, on the line.

-His, and Pito’s. …Oh fuck me, what is Pito doing. She’s insane, and they both know it. She’s going to participate, and form a team…And in real life, she said she intends to kill herself if she doesn’t take the gold. But not until she confirms his death.

-Karen would like off this ride now please. This is ludicrous and you should go to the police.

-But…Well, here’s the deal. You know the SAO Incident, right? Thousands of people locked in, forced to fight for their lives. Pito…Wasn’t in that group. She was a beta tester, and became obsessed with the game. On launch day, something came up. She had to delay her entrance into it for just a few hours…Enough for the lockdown to happen, and SAO to become a sealed bubble she couldn’t enter.

-She watched it all on the news. She watched everyone else go through the greatest crucible of their lives. And it broke her. That she lost her shot at entering that crucible, turned her inside out. To have a chance to burn her life out in battle…Ever since VR games became popular again, she’s been throwing every spare moment she had into them. But they don’t satisfy her yearning for the void.

-For a little while, though, things were…stable. Until the SAO Incident was solved, and the survivors started talking. Pito had to confront her ‘lost opportunity’, and learned about the player killers, who committed genuine murder inside the world of SAO. Most of the deaths, outside of those first few chaotic days, were in fact from player killers or from self-defense against them.

-Other sidenote, I don’t know if it’s just one of those Manga Things where shit gets enshrined and used and reused because it’s an easily understood story path, but Japanese gaming culture seems to have this really different attitude towards PvP and attacking other players in general.

-And Pito…Pito envied them. Their chance to put their lives on the line, to kill or be killed. To be them or to strike them down. That’s how fucking insane Pito is!

-Things weren’t so bad when she was burning of steam in GGO…But then she missed the Squad Jam, the first big script-changer event! And it’s caused a relapse. …So she’s going to try and turn Squad Jam 2: Gunfire Boogaloo into a death game. Yes, yes! So again. Why not the cops or professionals.

-…He can’t. Pito’s too important to him. If he goes to the police or psychiatrists, she’ll be killed, jailed or put in a psychiatric ward, and if they try to lock her up she’ll find a way to kill herself. She’d die, and not before destroying herself in the eyes of all the people who rely on her.

-…This is over her pay grade, man. She can’t help you here.

-KABEDON

-Goushi corners her up with the very important move that is Kaibedon, and look. He, loves, Pito! That’s why he has to find a way for this to end in her survival, so he can get her back to center! Karen’s first kabedon, and it’s to hear a guy confess his love for someone else. This is bullshit.

-So they end up sitting back down, with Goushi drinking black coffee, which he hates, but he drinks it because Pito likes it. …Dude just have a sweet drink and mellow. So, okay, talk it out. What’s your plan and why aren’t you scared like when she had P-chan aimed at your damn head?

-Because his real fear isn’t death…It’s leaving Pito behind without him there to keep her grounded. Say he dies. Hell, say Pito kills him. Then…Then what. What if she doesn’t have the will to kill herself? What if she tries for suicide by cop, or worse, what if she breaks down and her resolve cracks entirely? She’d be destroyed. She wouldn’t even have the dignity of death, she’d have a hollow life.

-And okay, explain in very small words how Karen’s supposed to help.

-Enter the SJ 2, face Pito, and defeat her in battle!

-…WHAT?!

-You are the one person who she will accept a defeat from. She made that promise to you! If you defeat her honestly, and if she knows it’s an honest fight…She’ll be stuck to her promise. She’ll have to stay alive, so she can meet you. And that’ll give him time, to pull her back to center and out of this relapse state.

-…This is insane. This is ludicrous. But…If it’s the only option on the board…Guess she’s entering.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Karen’s back in bed, and now has Goushi’s personal email as a way to talk…But Karen needs someone to enter with. Who the hell can LLENN rely…on…Miyu! MIYU SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP! …Miyu is so fucking down. They’re gonna rage, Karen!

I guess SAO’s gonna SAO, huh. Gotta be honest, I would’ve enjoyed this more without the death game angle. But oh well, let’s try and enjoy ourselves next time, in episode SIX of SAO Alt: GGO! Wait for it!

#where I watch #recap #anime #sword art online #gun gale online #sao alternative

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epochxp · 3 years ago

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The Eastern Front, A Wargamer’s Retrospective

A Soviet Officer leads his troops forward, 1942 | Russia Beyond

A little over 80 years ago, 3.8 million Axis military personnel crashed across the Soviet frontier in a bid to succeed where Napoleon failed. The aim of Operation Barbarossa was simple: crush the Soviet Union by the first snows. Fortunately, this failed and resulted in a titanic struggle along a 1,800-mile front for four years. It only truly ended when the Soviet army raised the red flag over the shattered shell of the Reichstag on May 2nd, 1945. During the conflict, the Soviets lost 27 million people, military and civilian. It was a war without pause or pity on either side as two dictators fought it out in some of the most monumental battles the world has seen. Places like Dubno, Kharkiv, Kursk, Stalingrad, and Berlin have become synonymous with some of the worst fighting of the Second World War.

But as much as the Eastern Front encompassed a pitiless crescendo of violence that also played an unfortunate center stage to atrocity and death, it’s also a hell of a tableau for wargamers who are into World War II. Is there a bit of a moral quandary? There is, and I’d be foolish not to acknowledge it, but I will also say this. The moral thing to do in such cases is to acknowledge it happened and be aware of it in your gaming. Don’t glorify it and honor the victims. But at the same time, don’t be afraid to game it. We can’t learn from history unless we’re willing to work with it, clear-eyed and knowledgeable. I am of Russian-Jewish extraction myself, and yes, I have quite of bit of Eastern Front wargaming paraphernalia.

With that, I have some Eastern Front board games and computer games I recommend. Are they the ENTIRE Eastern front experience? Nope. Like many of the major engagements of the Second World War, the Eastern front has spawned a lot of books and wargames.

Board and Computer Wargames

Board Game Geek

I played the heck out of this game in my twenties, and when I found a copy cheap at a hobby shop auction, I snapped it up like a penguin does mackerel. It’s got all the joys of a Standard Combat Series (SCS) game, and while I admit the 2nd edition is better, I happen to have a weakness for the 1st edition myself. Call it nostalgia. It reflects the limits of the Soviets in 1942 (they had some issues advancing as far and as fast as they did when they launched Operation Uranus) and a competent German player can do a lot better than Von Paulus did. The SCS is awesome as it comes with a standard set of rules that bridges all the games in the series and then game-specific rules to cover special case stuff unique to a game in the series. I own quite a few SCS games, and they’re my favorite MMP titles. The rules are solid, make sense, and play fast.

The best part, the 1st edition is cheap to come by. 2nd edition, not so much. I do wish MMP would reprint this, but they did do Storm Over Stalingrad, so perhaps I should give this a try. It’s a bit more like the old Avalon Hill Turning Point: Stalingrad.

As for a VASSAL module, it’s only available for 2nd edition, but at least it’s available.

Board Game Geek

This one is as tense a game as I have ever played. I mean, this one does come down to the last turn. GMT has a masterpiece in Backhand Blow. It’s easy to play and very hard to master, especially as the Germans are operating on a knife’s edge for most of the conflict. I love the 3CI points system. It really does a good job of limiting your options while reflecting the difficulties both sides had coordinating the actual battle in 1943. I really do love this game, and I lucked out finding it at a Congress of Gamers event a few years ago for a real steal.

The best part is the game is available for some pretty reasonable prices on Board Game Geek and has a VASSAL module.

Board Game Geek

I am not usually someone to trumpet the Tactical Combat Series (TCS). While I like the detail and gameplay, I am not nuts about the order system. You practically have to write an operations order before you begin play. Yeah, I know there are people out there who love that sort of thing. Hey, whatever floats your boat. I do like the fact that the orders you write are often invalidated by circumstance, and you must improvise like real commanders.

I rather like MMPs approach to series rules, though, and it works well here. Plus, in my “Jason likes gonzo subjects” column, the game is centered around one of the most vicious battles involving the Spanish “Blue Division.” As casualties mounted for the Germans in the east, they tried to internationalize the war as a “crusade against communism.” To varying degrees, it worked, and many volunteer legions joined the Wehrmacht and Waffen-SS. To be honest, and feel free to correct me, this is the first wargame I’ve seen with these guys.

I’ve played the game once, and it is a tough slog for both sides. Both sides have good troops, and it’s in marshy terrain near Lake Ladoga, so it’s a real close-range barn burner. It took a friend and me a week to finish it, but it was one of those wargaming journeys that made it worth it. The game does an exceptionally good job of reflecting German and Soviet doctrines. If you want a playable monster game about a little-known action on the Eastern front, find this one.

Sadly it’s a bit hard to find on Board Game Geek, but when you find it, you can get it for a reasonable price. There’s also a VASSAL module, which will do a lot to make life easier.

Amazon

Told you I’d slip a computer game in there! Slitherine put out in my mind one of the best operational games I’ve played in a while. It’s also one of the best computer games on Barbarossa, bar none. The game is fairly simple on its surface, with pretty cookie-cutter movement and attacks over a very nicely implemented map. The live combat results are a nice touch. What makes this game special is the ability to work with your subordinates and superiors. Every decision you make is going to make someone happy …and tick someone else off. This is especially so for the Germans, who have a ton of competing personalities. You also have to pay attention to logistics, and woe be the commander who ignores things like rail infrastructure and captured Soviet trucks!

The Soviet AI is good, makes you fight, and does a better job of avoiding encirclements than the real Soviet army did in 1941. I haven’t actually played the Soviets yet, but I’ve been told by other players that your main worry is not to screw up too badly that Stalin shoots you.

I really can’t say enough nice things about this game. I keep coming back to play it again and again, and to me, that’s the mark of a good computer game. If you don’t have it? I’d get it. It doesn’t need a high-end PC to run, and it does a lot in a very capable package. It’s currently available on Steam for $16.49, which is a real steal for this game.

Conclusion

The Eastern front is a huge tableau to wargame on, with titanic battles that have written their name across history. There really is something for everyone here. I do hope this article has been an inspiration for you to dip your toes into this tableau. As always, Good Gaming, Everyone.

At Epoch XP, we specialize in creating compelling narratives and provide research to give your game the kind of details that engage your players and create a resonant world they want to spend time in. If you are interested in learning more about our gaming research services, you can browse Epoch XP's service on our parent site, SJR Research.

(This article is credited to Jason Weiser. Jason is a long-time wargamer with published works in the Journal of the Society of Twentieth Century Wargamers; Miniature Wargames Magazine; and Wargames, Strategy, and Soldier.)

#Wargame Battles #wargames #wargamers #historical games

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themyskira · 7 years ago

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Amazons Attack! - part 3

The story so far: Wonder Woman got a day job doing more or less the same thing she does in her regular job, except in disguise. Circe kidnapped “Diana Prince’s” sexual harasser partner, Tom Tresser, for reasons. Wonder Woman saved him, but was then arrested by the Department of Metahuman Affairs, who located her via a tracking device in a uniform that Tom was blatantly not wearing at any point in the story.

Now Wondy is being held to ransom in a secret bunker, her release contingent on her handing over the schematics to the Amazons’ Purple Death Ray -- a secret she has no access to nor any way of acquiring, as Themyscira is out of reach to all -- and Circe is preparing to resurrect Hippolyta, who doesn’t deserve this shit.

Part 3: Wonder Woman #8 -- Jodi Picoult (writer) and Terry Dodson (artist)

Diana’s still imprisoned in a high-tech cell in some DOMA sub-basement, while her two assigned guards gossip about her.

“Check her out — the chick’s freakin’ nuts!” says Guard #1. Diana is not doing anything particularly nutty. In fact, she’s not doing anything. She’s just sitting in the cell and looking depressed, as one might be after being wrongfully imprisoned, tortured and held to ransom for a WMD. To Guard #1, this is apparently evidence that she thinks she’s better than everyone else.

“She just wants to be free, man,” says Guard #2, and is it just me or do they sound like they’re talking about an agitated whale in a too-small enclosure?

Guard #1 responds with an incoherent ramble about how nobody in society is free, and we’ve all gotta work to pay the damn bills and go home to our wives every damn night, so “that crazy broad” had just better come to terms with the fact that she’s no better than the rest of us. Guard #1 clearly has some issues of his own to work through.

In Themyscira, Circe has exhumed Hippolyta’s corpse and resurrected her. All the Amazons are shocked and confused, despite the fact that they all saw Circe arrive at Hippolyta’s grave last issue and obliquely announce that she was going to restore Polly to life. So basically the rest of that last issue’s encounter went like…

Circe tells the Amazons that Diana has been imprisoned by the US government.

The audience is informed that, for this performance of “Amazons Attack!”, the role of Hippolyta will be played by a bloodthirsty, irrational man-hating harpy.

“It is always the same with the world of Man. What they don’t understand, they fear. And what they fear, the try to tame. To them, my daughter is the enemy… and enemies must be crushed. If it is war that they want… it’s war they will get.”

More clumsy wording here: When Polly says “enemies must be crushed”, she’s clearly referring to the Americans. But the previous sentence identifies Diana as “the [Americans’] enemy”, making it… kinda sound like she’s saying Diana must be crushed.

Tom, for some reason, has decided to return to the wannabe villains bar from last issue — this time to have a drink and complain to the bartender about how shit his partner is. Diana isn’t answering his phone calls, and Tom complains that “she probably can’t figure out how”.

How did they even pitch this guy as Diana’s new love interest? ‘He’s a complainy misogynist, she’s Wonder Woman in disguise! Together, they fight crime!’

Tom is called back into work. Even though the Department of Metahuman Affairs has plenty of perfectly serviceable offices and meeting rooms, he meets Steel in a deserted parking lot under the cover of darkness, as though he’s bloody Deep Throat or something. He’s even wearing sunglasses. In the middle of the night.

Steel tells him that the Wonder Woman case is closed, it’s out of DOMA’s hands, and the reason Tom hasn’t been able to contact his partner is that she’s been reassigned. Which, btw, so has Tom. He’s expected in Maine tomorrow.

Despite Tom’s well-evidenced lack of basic deductive skills, he manages to peg that something a little weird is going on here. Some particularly overwrought dialogue ensues.

Tom: I feel something yanking on my puppet strings, that’s all. Steel: Puppet strings? Ha— what does that feel like? Tom: Hard to say… Like an angel having its wings torn off. Steel: You’re no angel, Tom. Tom: People change.

Throughout this two-page scene, Tom delivers a voiceover in narration boxes. There’s no good reason that this should be here. It’s an abrupt and slightly jarring inclusion — the only narration boxes up till this point have been Diana’s — and the only narrative function it serves is to cover for the shortcomings of Picoult’s scripting by outright stating Tom’s motivations and feelings towards Diana.

They call me Nemesis. As I’ve recently been reminded, my name means ‘enemy’… […] but in naming Wonder Woman the ‘enemy’, they’ve crossed the line. To me, Wonder Woman’s synonymous with everything good about this cruddy world. She saved me, and I’m just one of many. And as for my own name… I’m about to live up to it.

Basically, Tom believes Wondy is synonymous with all that is good, and this is the driving factor that leads him to turn on his boss and colleagues and side with a supposed enemy of the state.

This seems like a good time for a quick review of Tom’s complete history of interactions with and conversations about Wonder Woman up to this point.

Complained about missing a chance to see Wonder Woman in the flesh because “I bet she looked hot”

Bought a Wonder Woman action figure to masturbate to give to his possibly-fictional “niece”

Acknowledged that Wonder Woman was a hero, but that it didn’t matter whether she’d done anything wrong because “it’s our job” to arrest her

Upon meeting Wonder Woman, peppered her with wildly inappropriate, objectifying remarks, including describing his sex dreams about her, speculating on what it would be like to fuck her in mid-air and asking her about her sex life

Told Wonder Woman he wished he could work with her instead of his shitty partner, who is secretly Wonder Woman

Throughout the first two issues, Tom treats Wondy primarily as an object of lust. There’s a recognition of the good she does, but he’s more interested in her banging body than anything else. The one compliment he does pay her is an unwitting insult, because it’s tied to his largely irrational hatred of her alter ego. He loves the sexual fantasy of Wonder Woman, but can’t stand the bespectacled, pant-suit-wearing Diana Prince (especially when she dares bark out orders).

So this deep admiration for Wondy as a force for good in an ugly world — this belief that will drive all of his actions in this story going forward — has come completely out of the blue. It’s introduced only in the precise moment when Tom first decides to act on it. That is shitty, shitty writing.

Circe drops into Diana’s cell for a quick ‘you’re not so different, you and I’.

“You just don’t see how similar we are. Humans are afraid of us. We’re outsiders — we’re powerful women — and what we fight for is hidden beneath the blood on our hands.”

So, you fight for… your… hands? Your skin? Your… fingernails…? What—

Okay, no, I think what she’s trying to say is that people don’t see the lives Diana’s saved, only the bodies she’s left in her wake. Which, dude. Come on. You’re an evil sorceress who’s razed entire kingdoms and turns people into animals for funsies, but Diana snaps one measly neck and suddenly you’re calling her Lady Macbeth?

(yes, really.)

Circe says they’re both fighting for what they love. Then she immediately contradicts herself and says that only she is fighting for what she loves -- no matter what it takes -- whereas Diana is only fighting for good out of a sense of general obligation to be good.

Diana says that there is such thing as Right and Wrong, and that these things are distinct and immovable concepts, and that on its own makes me want to set this whole damn comic on fire, but then Circe takes it upon herself to give Diana a primer in moral relativism. Circe. Fucking Circe has a more thoughtful and nuanced understanding of ethics and morality in this book than Wonder Woman, what the flipping friggity fuck.

Circe says that it was once considered moral to own slaves, and “what’s considered right today could be wrong tomorrow”; Diana is skeptical.

Circe ends, as incomprehensibly as she began, by declaring that “love and murder are the only things that matter. They’re what it means to be human”, and therefore she will always be more human than Diana.

Tom uses his vaguely-defined master-of-disguise technology to impersonate Sarge Steel and break Diana out of her cell. She doesn’t trust him, since the last time the last time she saw him he was being congratulated for helping to apprehend Wonder Woman. Despite the fact that these congratulations were accompanied by a look of shock on Tom’s face and the revelation that he’d been tracked without his knowledge through a locator chip in a uniform he was not currently wearing -- something Diana also witnessed.

But, see, she has to be mad at him, because otherwise we couldn’t get that good old stock standard ‘here’s your lasso - ask me anything’/‘nah, I guess I’ll just trust you instead’ scene.

Armed DOMA agents arrive on the scene, and Diana does what we’ve all been wanting to do since Tom Tresser first stepped into this comic.

Diana: Tom, listen… Tom: You don’t have to say it… I know you must really love me right now. [Diana decks him]

It’s a fakeout, of course, so that when she escapes with him in tow, he looks like a hostage rather than a willing accomplice.

Speaking of escape — Diana’s free of her cell, but she’s still a good hundred feet beneath the earth in a secure bunker, with hundreds of DOMA agents between her and the exit. Fighting her way out of this one’s going to be a real—

—oh.

Or she could just punch her way through a hundred feet of solid rock, I guess.

Meanwhile:

The Amazons throw spears and shoot flaming arrows at things, and the biggest military force in the world pisses its pants at this terrifying display of Bronze Age weaponry. Nothing in the extensive training and experience of these elite fighting men and women has ever equipped them to deal with the horrors of women with pointy sticks!

“We’re no match for their firepower! We need help down here!”

Steel calls in the JLA and Circe swans around gloating because, gasp, the two of them are working together.

Diana’s reached the sewers. Tom has come to and, naturally, he’s found something to complain about — namely, the fact that she punched him.

Diana’s costume is pretty ripped up, so she asks Tom if he has a sewing kit. Because even though she’s just been illegally imprisoned, tortured and held to ransom by somebody claiming to answer to the President of the United States — somebody who, even now, is sending dozens of agents out after her — modesty is her first priority. Really.

All Tom has is some epoxy adhesive. Diana, evidently deciding that the risk of severely burning herself is preferable to the risk of exposing some skin, decides to use the epoxy to mend her costume while she’s still wearing it. But first, she asks Tom to close his eyes.

We’ve all seen some version of this scene before. You know what happens next.

Diana: Your eyes are closed, right? Tom: Uh… right. Clearly you Amazons have a lot to be insecure about aesthetically. Diana: It’s not a matter of insecurity… It’s a matter of… decency. Tom: [ogling her] I’ll tell you what’s decent. That birthmark on your— Diana: You’re a pig, you know that?! Tom: Well, you, coincidentally, are a pain in the same place you’ve got that birthmark!

Gee, I’m glad Tom Tresser thinks Wonder Woman is the lone bastion of goodness in the world. I’d hate to see how he’d treat a woman he didn’t respect so highly.

The argument is interrupted by an explosion, which of course results in Diana throwing Tom out of the way and…

A second ago they were having an argument sparked by Tom yet again disrespecting her personal boundaries and treating her like a sex object, and now suddenly she’s super turned on. Wonderful.

They decide to investigate the explosion. Flying out of the sewers, they find the city on fire and the Lincoln Memorial in ruins. And standing at the centre of the rubble is, of course, Hippolyta.

#when shamazons attack #comics talk

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frediedem-blog · 7 years ago

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elizas-writing · 7 years ago

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Movie Reviews: Justice League

So it finally comes to this. After many films that ranged from okay to complete trash with only one universally accepted success, the DC Extended Universe released Justice League. There was a lot going against this movie with how many duds that came out before and a post-production hell which changed up a lot of the story, especially when Zack Snyder left due to a family tragedy and Joss Whedon took the reigns.

The end result? It’s... good. There are still annoying things which hold me back from really liking it, but I’m more optimistic on the stuff that is done well cause it feels like DC is finally getting on track in making a great comic book movie universe.

Some spoilers to be discussed as I find they are important to explain my ambivalence towards this movie (though... to be honest, if you haven’t predicted the obvious, I’m not sure what else to tell you).

After the death of Superman, the world is left vulnerable to mysterious alien attacks. But the one that threatens to destroy the Earth is the terrifying Steppenwolf, who tried to conquer the planet once before with powerful objects called the Mother Boxes, and he hopes to find the Boxes again to finish what he started. This quickly gains attention of Bruce Wayne (Batman) and Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) as they finally decide to contact the metahumans from Lex Luthor’s files and form a team to stop Steppenwolf. Things get a little messy at first to persuade the likes of Arthur Curry (Aquaman), Barry Allen (Flash), and Victor Stone (Cyborg) to help them save the world, but they eventually come together for the good of the world, and set plans in motion to get the Mother Boxes before Steppenwolf can.

It definitely seems like a busy film with the introduction of three new characters without any origin stories. But surprisingly, they’re still well-developed and very likable without needing a super detailed origin story. Barry and Victor have very short and simplistic backgrounds which really don’t require entire movies to develop. You can very easily pick up on the dialogue and character interactions what their lives are like, and honestly that’s all you need. And it works well with these two given that they got their powers by accident with Barry getting struck by lightning and gaining superhuman speed and Victor dying in an explosion and being brought back to life with cybernetic enhancements.

Ezra Miller is perfect at bringing out the young adult wide-eyed awkwardness of Barry Allen. Despite his questionable life choices, especially using his speed for petty crimes, he does have a heart of gold and making ends meet to get through school to eventually help his imprisoned father. He’s not cut out to be a hero like Batman and Wonder Woman, but he learns to adjust over time and be a valuable member of the team.

Victor, as played by Ray Fisher, comes across as the brooding loner who wants nothing to do with the world, but you totally understand the complex situation he’s in. Not only did he feel like his father should have let him die, but now he has so much information at his fingertips he can barely handle, and it grows every day. And given all the crap Superman went through, who’s to say anyone wouldn’t respond to him with fear? But he’s not a total stick in the mud as he spends more time with the others and opens up and starts to accept himself, cybernetic enhancements and all.

I think the only hero who could have probably done well with an origin story before Justice League would definitely be Aquaman. He’s great to watch (not just as eye candy), and you can tell Jason Mamoa is having a lot of fun being a badass. There are brief mentions of his backstory, but I think it would be nice to see more detail in how he got to where he is. It would make more sense as his arc continues in Justice League, and he finally assumes his proper role as an Atlantean protecting the Earth. I know he’s gonna get a solo film soon, so maybe they’ll address it more then, but it would have been nice to see before making the giant ensemble film.

When I heard Joss Whedon was writing the screenplay and took over post-production after Snyder left, I was incredibly worried. Not just cause I’m not a fan of Whedon’s writing (though that certainly doesn’t help), but I was worried he was going to make this way too much like Avengers and just copy the same stuff he did before. While the story is eerily similar to the first Avengers movie (though when have DC an Marvel not copied from each other, even before film) and there’s a lot of Whedon’s comedic one-liners, it doesn’t really feel like it’s totally copying Avengers.

While Steppenwolf doesn’t have a lot of character development, there is a solid motivation, and the Justice League doesn’t deal with too much silly drama about their differences-- they really try to stay focused at the task at hand whenever they’re on screen. And the film, surprisingly for a DCEU film, moves at a faster pace than normal and doesn’t drag. It’s only two hours! And even though it feels like they skipped some origin stories, they did their damnedest to be sure all the characters and relationships got the proper development so you would care what happens to them. There’s more comedy than usual, but not so much that it feels like a comedy-action flick like a typical Marvel film-- it stays more grounded in the action and drama. And there’s still at least one or two of the typical Zack Snyder big speech moments but they don’t take up too much time, and the story is allowed to be simplistic and just let characters speak normally.

That being said, I did mention there are annoying parts which still bug the hell out of me.

First off, the Amazons show way more midriff than I remember, and you can tell they did not keep the same costume designers. Cause less armor means less likelihood of death, I guess. It doesn’t even look like they tried to keep similar designs.

A lot of the special effects are hit-and-miss and sometimes look way too fake. Stuff like Flash’s scenes are done really well, hell, superhuman speed in comic book movies is always fun to watch. But there were a lot of times where it looks like it should belong in a video game, not a high budget Hollywood film. It really gets hard to be sucked in when I can obviously tell when it’s a 3D model and not the actor.

They also made Batman a giant dick and tried to create conflict between him and Wonder Woman because she basically vanished after Steve Trevor died. Cool Whedon, just couldn’t get your hands on Wonder Woman and not have a man criticize her for having feelings for the first person she ever loved romantically. And let’s be real, Batman of all people is the last one who has any right to criticize Wonder Woman given that a recurring joke around his character is mimicking him screaming “My parents are dead!!” That and in this universe he also lost Jason Todd. Holy shit dude, you should know better than this! I know it gets resolved and everyone else points out Batman went too far, but it was tension that wasn’t needed to begin with.

But even more annoying than that is the big “spoiler”: Superman is brought back to life. Again, if you didn’t see this coming even though he was in almost all of the marketing, I don’t know what to tell you. I give them credit they actually try to give him some character this go around, and he doesn’t distract too much from the new characters, but it tracks back to my biggest problem: We still have to remember Batman v Superman. They had one chance to do the Death of Superman, they did it way too soon before I could even start liking the guy, and I felt nothing. They only just started DCEU, of course they can’t have Justice League if Superman stays dead, therefore he’s going to be brought back to life anyway. Had BvS not come out before this or they at least delayed the Death of Superman, I would honestly love Justice League so much more. But all the dumb choices in that movie are constantly lingering in my head as I watch Justice League and it’s super distracting. There’s no way they can fix it unless they wanted to start their movie universe from scratch.

Also is no one else around the world going to question how Clark Kent and Superman are miraculously alive and not connect the dots that they’re the same person? No? Well, I’m sure there’s going to be an extended version with at least an hour of unused footage where that major plot hole will be explained.

I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked given DCEU’s track run of films. I think trying to not create a disaster like BvS is such a low bar to accomplish now, and they somewhat learned from their mistakes. But I still really liked everything else. I loved the new characters, a superhero team that’s mostly functional, and an easy story to follow that’s well-paced. In many respects, they’re finally getting on par with MCU and will probably only go up from here, and I think I’ll be more excited now to see DCEU films. But it’s not enough to undo the damage of their previous films, and they are stuck with this universe. The annoying parts I mentioned are really annoying, but everything else is too damn good to miss out.

If you’re even the slightest curious to see how Justice League turned out, I guarantee you’ll get a few good things out of it. You just gotta be willing to sit through a little more bullshit. Check it out, form your own opinion, and enjoy some great action.

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mst3kproject · 7 years ago

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1108: The Loves of Hercules

I kinda miss the shorts and the black and white films in the new series, but I was happy to see a Hercules movie in the lineup! It feels like MST3K getting back to its roots. This is a particularly awful Hercules movie, too, short on feats of strength and long on romantic melodrama – and never once does Herc bend prison bars or pretend to drink a love potion! Get with the program, movie. Along with napping, those are his defining acts!

An encampment of some sort is attacked by the Ecalian army, who proceed to slaughter everybody there including Hercules' wife Megara. Hercules naturally goes looking to have a few words with the King of Ecalia about this, but when he arrives at the city he learns that the man is already dead. If he wants vengeance, it will have to be against the king's daughter, Deianira. Obviously Herc's not gonna take revenge against a girl for something she didn't even do – instead, he immediately falls in love with her, only to learn a few days later that she's already promised to a man named Achillo.

Herc leaves Ecalia in a huff, and after slaying a hydra even cheaper than the dragon in The Magic Sword, he arrives in the land of the Amazons. Their queen, Hippolyta, drinks a potion that makes her look like Deianira in order to win Hercules' heart. He is surprisingly okay with this, and fully prepared to stay with her until she gets sick of him and turns him into a tree... but then he learns that the real Deianira is about to be forced to marry her father's killer.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting here going, “Megara? The redhead who died in the opening scene? Remember her? Anybody?” Apparently not.

When a female character is killed off so that her death can spur a male character to action, this is colloquially known as 'fridging', after the time Alexandra DeWitt was killed and stuffed into a fridge just to piss off her boyfriend, Green Lantern Kyle Rayner. Among non-hack writers it is generally frowned upon as both sexist (implying that women's lives are important only insofar as they matter to men) and lazy (there are better, less cliché ways to motivate your character). This movie's treatment of Megara is one of the purest examples I've ever seen. She is introduced only so that she can be killed, and killed only to make Hercules go to Ecalia, where he promptly forgets all about her when he meets Deianira. Megara has served her entire purpose in the first couple of minutes, and is never mentioned again. One wonders why they bothered paying an actress to play the part. If she's gonna be that irrelevant, why even show her on screen?

This movie claims be be about The Loves of Hercules, but the fact that it forgets about Megara the moment Hercules meets Deianira makes it seem doubtful that he actually loves either of them. If Megara were so dear to him, surely he would grieve for her a while, rather than immediately wanting to run off with her killer's daughter. And if he didn't love Megara, to whom he had apparently been married for some time, why should we believe he loves Deianira? He barely knows Deianira... it seems like there's a lot more lust going on there than love, especially when he's so willing to accept Deianira's double in Hippolyta. We get a Hercules who seems to blunder from woman to woman without a lasting attachment to any of them.

This is the biggest problem with The Loves of Hercules, but it's a long way from the only one. There's also Mickey Hargitay. I've seen Mickey Hargitay in a couple of films before – besides this one, he was the detective in Lady Frankenstein and Anderson in Bloody Pit of Horror (god, I've seen a lot of terrible movies). I kind of want to say he was better in those, but now that I think about it I'm pretty sure he was dubbed in both so it's actually quite hard to gague his performance. It's better than in the non-MST3K Loves of Hercules I watched, which was a re-dub in which all the characters were stoic and British. He does a lot of Dull Surprise™ and postures like he's in a silent film. His 'feats of strength' do not communicate impressive power – he just looks like a guy struggling to balance a prop tree.

Nor does it help that in comparison with Steve Reeves and Alan Steele, he makes for a relatively skinny and baby-faced Hercules. Hargitay was 1955's Mr. Universe, and he's certainly in admirable shape, but he's just not up to 'demigod' levels. He looks like the Hercules Ryan Gosling would have grown up into. Apparently Hargitay got the role because the studio wanted Jayne Mansfield, and she would only agree to be in the movie if Hargitay, her husband, played Hercules.

Then there's the monsters. Amusingly crummy monsters are stock-in-trade for a Hercules movie, usually realized by people in ridiculous costumes. The Loves of Hercules is rather ambitious here. Rather than giving us a distinctly un-threatening lion or a guy in a lizard-man suit who clearly can't see anything, we get a full-scale three-headed dragon standing in for the Lernaean Hydra! It is significantly uglier and less mobile than its Russian cousin in The Sword and the Dragon, and looks kind of like one of the animatronics from Disney's Jungle Cruise ride. It's laugh-out-loud obvious how careful the actors are being not to damage it.

These movies are never very faithful to the source material, so it shouldn't bother me that their 'hydra' bears only the faintest resemblance to its mythological inspiration... but it does. The hydra is my favourite of Hercules' twelve labors – it's some kind of reptilian monster that Hercules tried to defeat by cutting off its head, only to find that multiple (usually three) heads grew back from each stump. This makes it an excellent metaphor for a problem that needs to be addressed at its source rather than just having its symptoms brushed under the rug, but it also serves to make a point that most of these movies ignore: Hercules isn't stupid.

The hydra was a monster Hercules could not defeat by brute strength alone – he had to use his strength in a smart way. In the myth, he burned the neck stumps so that they couldn't heal, then dipped his arrows in the hydra's venom to make them extra-deadly to all the monsters he'd have to fight later. The Disney version actually kept the spirit of this idea even as they changed the ending. Without a torch on hand, Hercules instead brings down a cliff on top of the hydra, trapping it under tons of rock that he can escape from, but it can't. This is sort of the inverse of my point from a few reviews back about brains and hands: brains aren't much good without strength to do the work, but strength also isn't much good without a brain to direct it. By making the hydra a creature Hercules can just stab to death, the episode loses all its meaning.

A lot is also lost from our impression of Hercules' intelligence, which wasn't exactly riding high anyway after he seems unable to remember more than one woman at a time.

Finally, of course, there's The Loves of Hercules' other monster and supreme What The Fuck moment, the Totally Random Sasquatch. It was only on the second viewing that I realized this was supposed to be the 'monster Alcyone' the peasants mentioned rustling their cattle. When describing him to Hercules and Deianira before the stampede, they call Alcyone a thief before they call him a monster, and use the word 'monster' in such a way that it seems like a metaphorical description of a human thug, rather than a literal one of Bigfoot. With the cattle stampede and everything that follows to distract me, I'd forgotten all about Alcyone by the time we actually met him, and the sudden arrival of an ape-man seemed to come completely out of the blue.

In fact, even after realizing the connection, this is a weird, weird moment. What is Alcyone even supposed to be? The closest thing I can come up with to Bigfoot in standard Greek mythology is a satyr, but Alcyone is even less satyr-like than Torgo. The writer Hanno the Navigator referred to a tribe of savage ape-men who supposedly lived around Sierra Leone, which he says the natives called gorillai (yes, this is where we get the word), but that's a long way from Greece and the story is fairly obscure. As far as I can tell, Alcyone is exactly what Jonah and the bots first took him for: a totally random Sasquatch. Between him, Cry Wilderness, Om the Caveman, and Gulfax the Poodle-Wookiee, I think we can officially dub Season 11 the Bigfoot Season.

As long as I'm here, 'Alcyone' is a girl's name in Greek. It refers to a type of bird.

The Loves of Hercules is pretty competently made in most respects. Even with some of the shortcomings in the casting, acting, and effects, it could have fallen into the 'hokey but charming' category, if only it hadn't forgotten about Megara. The way she simply ceases to exist, as if women are like shirts and you can just pick a new one when you lose the old (or something similar if the one you originally wanted is no longer available), gives a very poor impression of both Hercules and the writers and makes it difficult to really get into the romances that follow. In a film about the loves of Hercules, that's a fatal mistake.

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seirathemoonfairy · 7 years ago

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How I’d write the treatment for part I of the Dream arc movies

There’s been a lot of controversy over turning the Dream arc into a film duology. I think people’s biggest concerns is how they’ll handle the first half of the manga which deals with a lot of character development for the cast, especially the Inners.

I actually think there’s potential for the movies to be a better adaptation than past Crystal seasons. But it NEEDS to do the following in order for the movies to be any good:

- The first film needs to at least be 90 minutes and the second film should be somewhere between 100-110 minutes.

- It needs to stop adapting the manga panel by panel. In order for this movie to be a good adaption, it needs to be able to rearrange scenes, simplify scenes and streamline the story w/o cutting scenes. Below I will show exactly how the movies can achieve this without losing too much from the manga.

- Crystal especially needs a new writer now as the current one has zero experience writing for movies and at this point Crystal cannot be taking any more risks with inexperienced staff.

- Copying pasting the manga will not work for a movie, at all. But that doesn’t mean the story needs to be changed either.

For fun, I wrote my own treatment for Part I. These are just reflective of my own tastes and probably will end up nothing like the actual movie… But I just thought It’d be fun to imagine and to show it’s not impossible to turn the Dream arc into 2 movies.

Part I begins with a shot of the Sun slowly being eclipsed by the new moon. In the background we hear a narration of Chibiusa’s letter to her mom announcing that she’s going to return to the 30th Century. We see a quick montage of the finale of the Death Busters arc – Saturn defeating Pharaoh 90, Usagi as Neo Queen Serenity reviving the planet, baby Hotaru, the girls in their high school uniforms, etc. Once the Sun is completely eclipsed, we cut to Usagi and Chibiusa who hear the sound of a bell. They turn around and see Pegasus who calls out to them and then vanishes.

Cut to Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako also watching the eclipse and discussing their own dreams.

While Usagi and Chibiusa have a (comical) fight over whom Pegasus was referring to as “maiden,” Mamoru says he also saw Pegasus. Moreover, a strange ship with haunting circus music playing descends down into Juuban.

With all of the crowds in the park, it’s impossible for Chibiusa to go back to the 30th Century. Suddenly, a colorful flier floating in the wind gets stuck onto Usagi’s face. It says “Dead Moon Circus” Grand Opening.

TITLE: Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Crystal the Movie – Part I: Eclipse Dream

Opening Credits:

The opening credits is a montage similar to the ‘90s Sailor Moon movies. A new catchy song plays in the background while Usagi, Chibiusa and Mamoru look around the Dead Moon Circus shops. We see Ami and the others at the shopping district too, Rei peers suspiciously at everything, while Minako and Makoto goof off. The OP ends with Mamoru buying the Kaleidoscopes for Chibiusa and Usagi.

After the credits, we go straight to Mamoru’s apartment. This scene plays out exactly like in the manga. Usagi and Chibiusa argue whether it’s better being a child or being an adult. Chibiusa tells a story about the new moon. Blah blah blah.

We get a quick introduction of the Dead Moon villains and the Amazones Quartet.

Chibiusa dreams about meeting Pegasus and flying over Juuban and notices that the part occupied by the circus is abnormally pitch black. She wakes up and decides to leave for the 30th Century on her own.

After Chibiusa realizes her space-time key does not work, a tiger escapes the Dead Moon Circus and becomes possessed by the Lemures and attacks people in Juuban.

Usagi and Chibiusa transform into Super Sailor Moon/Chibimoon without the grails and it’s gorgeous and animated by Shida. Chibiusa summons Pegasus with her bell and he transforms their kaleidoscopes into weapons. They use “Moon Gorgeous Meditation” – which is beautifully animated taking some cues from the original ‘90s anime, but with brand new choreography and just the two girls flying around with lots of colors. The attack drives out the Lemures and heals the tiger, but suddenly a blue orb surrounds the animal and floats away.

During this time Mamoru appeared as Tuxedo Kamen but feels a pain in his chest.

PallaPalla appears and uses her orb to switch Usagi and Chibiusa’s ages.

The next few scenes play out almost exactly like the manga. Everyone meets Ami’s mom at the hospital. Teen!Chibiusa goes back to Usagi’s house (I don’t know if I’d want Ikuko to appear in this movie considering her VA recently passed away). She talks with Pegasus who reveals a curse has been placed on her. Chibi-Usagi stays with Mamoru who is ill in bed. Chibiusa goes back to Mamoru’s apartment, but decides to not interrupt their “moment.”

This is where the film starts to depart with the manga’s sequence of events.

After we get that scene with teen!Chibiusa on a swing, Lemures appear and start attacking random civilians. Pegasus leaps out of Mamoru’s mirror (just like in the manga) only this time he lets Mamoru and Usagi know that the enemy is attacking once again. Usagi finds Chibiusa transform together (no stock footage this time as their ages were switched) which reverses PallaPalla’s spell. Sailor Moon uses “Moon Gorgeous Meditation” and defeats the Lemures.

Chibi Moon then realizes that Usagi is the maiden Pegasus is searching for and runs off crying until Pegasus kisses her and transforms into Helios.

Back at the Circus, Zirconia chides the Quartet for failing and mentions Queen Nehellenia. Devising a new plan, the quartet use their orbs to transform a fish, a hawk, and the tiger that was previously defeated by Sailor Moon and Chibi Moon into Fisheye, Hawk’s Eye and Tiger’s Eye.

That night, Chibiusa thinks about her encounter with Pegasus and her kiss with Helios. Usagi asks if she wants to visit Mamoru’s apartment, but Chibiusa says no… Much to Usagi’s shock. Chibiusa decides that she’s going to ask Makoto advice the next day.

The next half of the film switches gears from focusing on Chibiusa to the Inners.

The girls hang out after school and discuss the Dead Moon Circus. Rei is reading a book on shrine management. The cats appear and announce that they all are going to investigate the Dead Moon Circus tomorrow. The girls then part ways.

Makoto bumps into Chibiusa on her to way to her apartment and they decide to make dinner together. Visiting the grocery story, they meet Hawk’s Eye who is disguised as a merchant looking for exotic spices. Hawk’s Eye reveals they own a herb shop located within the Dead Moon Circus and they are doing market research. They give Makoto “Amazon stone rings” as a present, telling her to come visit their shop anytime. Outside of the supermarket, Makoto, while wearing one of the rings, thinks about her dream of opening her own store and her “secret” dream of being just like Haruka and Michiru.

Cut to the Hikawa Shrine, the sun is setting and Rei is closing shop. Rei sees a broken piece of arrow and we get a flashback of her attending archery club and not being able to focus. She plays fetch with Phobos and Deimos with the broken arrow. Flashback to Rei meeting Phobos and Deimos as a young child. (Note: I’d like to see Grandfather Hino in this scene, but without him appearing in Crystal S1, I have a feeling he’s going to be cut out.).

Night time, and we’re now at Ami’s apartment. She is researching the Dead Moon Circus on her computer thinks about Setsuna. Ami’s mom appears and she gives her a postcard from her father which has a picture of an exotic fish.

I think you guys see what I’m doing here… I’ve basically rearranged all of the scenes from the Inners’ chapters.

That night, Chibiusa stops by Mamoru’s apartment after dinner and gives her one of the rings she got from Hawk’s Eye.

Chibiusa runs into Usagi outside of his apartment. Usagi tells Chibiusa that she’s concerned about Mamoru –flashback to Usagi talking to Mamoru who acts a bit strangely towards her and Usagi noticing blood on her hand. Usagi doesn’t want to bother him as he’s trying to get rest and get better.

At the circus, Hawk’s Eye, Fisheye and Tiger’s Eye sit at a bar together and examine photos of Ami, Rei and Makoto as an homage to the ‘90s anime.

The next day, Usagi, Chibiusa, Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako (w/o Mamoru) go to the Dead Moon Circus to investigate. They split up. Usagi, Chibiusa and Minako go to see the performance together. Ami goes to an aquarium, Rei visits the mirror house and Makoto decides on meeting Hawk’s Eye at the herb shop.

Usagi, Chibiusa and Minako are in a trance while watching the Quartet perform.

While at the aquarium, Ami notices an an exotic fish looks exactly like the one on the postcard her father sent her. Suddenly, the reflections of the glass starts to show illusions of her mom with another man and then Usagi, Mamoru and Chibiusa together, claiming they don’t need anyone else. The glass shatters as the fish transforms into Fisheye as water floods the place and swallows up Ami.

In the mirror house, Rei sees an illusion of herself as a child. This scene plays out just like the manga out with minimal differences (Except Tiger’s Eye does not turn back into a tiger). Phobos and Deimos circle above the tent.

Makoto visits the herb shop and meets with Hawk’s Eye. Hawk’s Eye makes tea for Mako, and under the influence of the ring she reveals to Hawk’s Eye that she feels like she’s been putting off her dream. Hawk’s Eye reveals his true form and attacks Mako-chan. I think everyone’s see the pattern here….

Just when the Trio seems to have the upper hand with Ami, Rei and Makoto - their respective Sailor Power Guardians (Phobos and Deimos for Rei) appear to save them. Each of the Sailor Power Guardians (and the human crows) give the girls a pep talk and their Sailor Crystals appear almost simultaneously. Ami, Rei and Makoto shout out their transformation via split screen and we get brand new beautiful transformations for each of them.

After transforming, the Trio summon the girls into some dark dimension for a 3 vs. 3 fight. We get an incredibly dynamic fight scene where the girls use their old attacks all in real-time, but despite their power the Trio still have an advantage. The three then remember the Outers and hear their voices. Mercury summons her harp and uses ‘Mercury Aqua Mirage’ to freeze Fish Eye. Mars fires her arrow and impales Tiger’s Eye and Jupiter using her Oak Leaves throws bolts of thunder at Hawk’s Eye. The animation of the new attacks are like a blend between stock and real-time. The trio are annihilated in a big explosion with Mercury, Mars and Jupiter in some kind of badass pose.

Cut to, Usagi, Chibiusa and Minako watching the performance and suddenly Chibiusa’s bell reacting. The girls realize that Mamoru might be in trouble and the two run off to his apartment. Usagi and Chibiusa arrived already transformed and defeat the Lemures.

Back at the circus, Minako runs into Ami, Rei and Makoto who reveal they were able to transform into their super forms again. Rei asks Minako if she was able to powerup as well. Minako realizes she’s the only one who can’t transform.

The movie then adapts the rest of Venus Dream almost panel by panel and ends with the (literal) cliffhanger of Minako hanging from a cliff and Artemis being squashed by a big boulder.

After the end credits, we see a shot of the Outers’ new home foreshadowing the second movie “Part II: Eternal Dream.”

I’ve only decided to do a write-up for Part I as I think the first half of the Dream arc is perhaps the most challenging to adapt into film because it’s more episodic. The back half of the story takes place in a single day which would fit the movie format easily.

#sailor moon crystal #dream arc

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cdrforea · 5 years ago

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Bose Soundbar 500 Review: Elegance Above All Else

New Post has been published on https://bestedevices.com/bose-soundbar-500-review-elegance-above-all-else.html

Bose Soundbar 500 Review: Elegance Above All Else

"The Bose Soundbar 500 is an elegant and slim choice for a balanced home theater sound."

Clear and balanced sound

Choice of Google Assistant or Alexa

Intuitive, solid app

AirPlay 2 included

No subwoofer leads to a lack of punch

No free HDMI inputs

There are few companies that operate minimalism and “coolness” in the same stratosphere as Apple. Bose has become one of them in recent years. After relegating to professional pilot equipment and infomercial CD players, Bose has recently been renamed to become one of the more stylish and experimental brands in the audio field. The company's latest soundbars, including the Bose Soundbar 500, are prime examples.

Cool, of course, costs a lot and the Soundbar 500 doesn't cost that cool $ 550. For this, you get a tight system with Wi-Fi connection, duel smart assistants and other modern functions, but no free HDMI inputs and not even a wireless subwoofer. Still, the sound is so clear and the style so clean that it's an enticing package for the minimalist set.

Nice looking sandwich

The Soundbar 500 sets a minimalist accent right from the start. The packaging is tightly packed and contains everything you need, including an HDMI cable for connection. a blunt, rubberized remote control with batteries; and a strange little halo that looks like headphones without the “phones” part (more on that later).

When you take the bar out of the box, you'll see a remarkably slim and compact black sound bar that's only two inches tall and less than 32 inches long. Matte plates on the top and bottom meet a rounded metal grill in the middle, making it look a bit like a licorice-flavored ice cream sandwich – in a good way. Behind the grille are three oval, forward-facing drivers in the middle, flanked by side-firing drivers that are arranged at an angle to extend the sound stage beyond the short profile of the bar. The entire package is comfortable to hold and is elegantly designed, as you would expect from Bose.

On the back there is a small bass connector on one side and a storage compartment in the middle with a mix of standard and less standard inputs. In keeping with the minimalist theme, the Soundbar 500, which is limited to digital optical and HDMI ARC inputs for the TV connection, does not have many connection options. There is also an Ethernet jack for Wi-Fi and Bluetooth streaming.

A remarkably slim and compact sound plate.

In addition to the power cord input, there are three connectors that are only intended for Bose products. They enable the connection of Boses Adaptiq Halo (the headphone thing mentioned above) to match the bar to your room as well as an IR repeater and a subwoofer (both sold separately).

The sub-entrance is a nice addition, but Bose charges an additional $ 350 to add one. Since there is no standard connector, you can't just pin an old subwoofer cabinet around you lying around. Bose also sells two satellite speakers for a full surround setup, but that's an additional $ 300, bringing the total to an astonishing $ 1,200. For this price, you get a complete Dolby Atmos system from several brands and almost two of the 5.1.4-channel Atmos systems SB36514-G6 from Vizio.

Another complaint that needs to be added is the lack of free HDMI inputs. This means that the connection using the preferred HDMI-ARC method, while simplifying setup and control, puts a strain on a valuable HDMI connection on your TV. This is a minimalism for a mistake in my book, as is the lack of high definition Dolby or DTS processing codecs in the Soundbar 500, with only Dolby Digital supported.

In contrast, the Yamaha-enabled YAS-209 is equipped with a subwoofer, Amazon Alexa, and a second HDMI connection for less money.

Setup and interface: all about this app

With such a deceptively simple looking device, you could skip the manual and simply connect the power supply and the included cable to the HDMI ARC input on your TV. However, you will miss the instructions to download the Bose Music app, which is essential for Wi-Fi connection and voice assistant setup. If you skipped like me, you may not be able to connect to your network without turning the bar off and on again. You have been warned.

As soon as the app is installed and the bar is connected, an Apple-like string motif is output when switched on, followed by the flashing glimmer of the only form of an onboard display on the Soundbar 500: an LED beam that looks strikingly like the red one that covers the bonnet touched down by Michael Knights (also known as The Hoff & # 39; s) legendary black Firebird.

As the app guides you through the setup, two warning words: First, the bar may need to be updated for a long time. Second, if you use Google Assistant through Amazon Alexa as your voice assistant of choice, make sure you have the latest Google Assistant app. Otherwise, Bose's music app won't find your bar at all.

The word that best defines this bar is musicality.

You will then need some time to put on the Bose Adaptiq crown and play music chairs in your sitting area while the bar is automatically tuned to your room.

The lack of an integrated display or controls in the Soundbar 500 (except for an important mute of the microphone and an on / off button on the top) seems to be limiting, but functions and controls are handled by the Bose Music app and the rubberized remote control well processed. By connecting to HDMI ARC, you can not only control volume and power supply with your TV remote control, but also display a volume indicator directly on your TV screen.

With the app, you can program up to six streaming presets, customize the EQ and other features, control other Bose Smart speakers, and more. However, you won't find any EQ modes like sports or film, and you'll only find the basics on the remote, such as power, volume, and input switching. This is also a minimalist machine.

Alexa and the Goog

With Alexa and Google Assistant, you can easily control basic commands with just your voice. It's nice to have a selection here. Voice commands include volume control, mute and streaming playback from apps like Spotify, Tune-In and others (but without Apple Music). The onboard microphones work quite well even at high volume and wake up the thin white beam so you know the bar is listening. Of course you can also ask about the weather, set timers etc. A missing function that I would have liked to have is the possibility to change entries.

performance

Rich, crisp and brilliantly sophisticated sound are hallmarks of the popular Bose product range, and the Soundbar 500 is another prime example. Perhaps the word that best defines this bar is musicality. I'm not just talking about music playback either. The bar's musical note extends to everything you play.

This applies in particular to dialogue. The melodic sound signature of the Soundbar 500 permeates every voice that graces the screen, whether it's the resonance reverberation of T & # 39; s voice when he wakes up in his ancestor's country in Black Panther, or the subtleties of voices in sitcoms like The Office or Seinfeld, where the characteristics of each speaker are distributed in a floral collage from timbres to their voices.

As you can imagine, the music reproduction is also impressive, with butter-like piano, clear and warm acoustic guitar and percussion that is played with a touch of paper that fits my ears exactly. While the bar occasionally exchanges some organic aroma in the upper mid-range and treble for a better processed, sharper clip when striking instruments, it never turns into sibilance and ensures a satisfactory journey through your favorite music.

Speaking of streaming: I preferred to use my Spotify app directly through the Bose app because when adding Spotify Bose asked for everything but my birth certificate and needed access to practically all of the account information. Fortunately, Spotify Connect worked just fine, and there is also AirPlay 2 for Apple Music that can easily bypass Bose Music and Bluetooth.

Honestly, the bar just can't keep up when it gets big.

The biggest mistake with the Soundbar 500 is the lack of a real bass hit. Given the lack of a subwoofer, this is not surprising, but the thin frame of the bar makes it particularly difficult to generate lower frequencies – unfortunately, physics (for the most part) must be adhered to. The midbass pumps up to do solid work and light up music like The Weeknds Starboy, but when it comes to down-and-dirty bass, it's a no-go.

Honestly, the bar just can't keep up when things get big. It charges a healthy dose of compression to avoid distortion and renders bombastic action scenes.

For example, the rotas of Silva's attack helicopter ring sweetly at Skyfall's last showdown, but the explosion of the war machine when it hits the Scottish mansion feels very thin. The same applies to the giant rhinos in the great battle of Black Panther, whose hooves are crushed into a dimensionless rumble as they head towards their enemies. In comparison, the YAS-209 from Yamaha offers a powerful blow in both scenes that rumbles the walls and brings the action home.

With the Soundbar 500 there are many wonderful moments to discover, especially in your rock or acoustic music catalog. However, you need to add a sub to achieve the boom. And that costs you.

Our opinion

Bose's small and elegant Soundbar 500 is a cute way to liven up your favorite TV shows and music playlists. The detail and clarity surpass most bars in their price range, and with Amazon Alexa or Google Assistant there are many ways to get hands-free. But if you're looking for something to rumble your sofa in the heat of the moment, you have to pay.

Is there a better alternative?

Yes. The Samsung MS-650 may not be as clear or detailed, but thanks to a larger bass pressure in a similar single-bar design, it offers more balance between the registers at a lower price – even though it has a much larger profile.

If you're looking for a better-charged bar at an even cheaper price, the Yamaha $ 350 YAS-209 offers solid performance across all frequencies, greater punch, and countless features like virtual surround thanks to a wireless subwoofer and an additional HDMI input.

How long it will take?

The Soundbar 500 is a simple bar that is very well built and should be a good companion for your TV for the foreseeable future.

Should you buy it

If you're a minimalist listener – and don't like action films – yes. The Soundbar 500 is undoubtedly an expensive bar, but it also has a sexy design, modern features, and a well-designed user interface that matches detailed sound, just as you would expect from Bose. That means you can get a lot more punch for less from people like Yamaha, Samsung, Klipsch and others.

Editor's recommendations

#Bose #Elegance #Review #Soundbar #Product Reviews

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 5 years ago

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Rookie Military and law enforcement

You in this lifetime may be a rookie

But your reincarnation experiences do make you elite.

Not much different than i am... I have amnesia yet I can almost always jump in the game at any time... Depending on circumstances...

So we have trust in an emergency you will handle every thing absolutely proper.

Your level is just crowd control and you're paired with more this life experience in your rotation teams which means in a moment of doubt your back is watched.

Yet your ability to watch your Team's back is also of high quality

We have that entire area marked off including air so any one enters that zone they will all be marked immediately.

So its no hand to hand marking. You will know exactly the quality of people there.

So, you'll have hospital grade DNA4U and you'll spot check the perimeter of the outside of the games. Because i said the town people will flock and so we need to know who is there

I promised their absolute safety. And so you see a red X enter you are back up to 2 other teams if you are a rookie.

So your DNA4U random testing to show the people their grade of hospital care for curiosity sakes is a gift to those that came to support. So you will see a slight change in them after their test is complete. In their beauty.

"Its not fair if we are all ugly and suddenly beautiful and the rest of you all aren't" i was told

"So you want to make us all ugly?" I would tease him.

So what happens is we magic make them mutant upon DNA4U. Once they leave their seats if they have children with them They become beautiful. Or if the child wants to remain in harmony then the family will remain mutant looking for the remainder of the day.

They can stay mutant for up to 42 hours before their beauty changes.

Kind of a beauty and the beast effect. Where they are both beauty and the beast.

People at home can log into DNA4U app and hit a special button to become mutant. The world gets 1 chance to be mutant for 42 hours.

It is painless. It is about harmony and love.

It is the "Be A Freak Like Me Campaign"

So take photos and post on social media with the hashtag freak or I am a freak like me or be a freak like me. Or there is a list of mutant hashtags that will be applied to this post. Thank you trees.

I hope in your hearts and minds you see the beauty in our underground beasts and you love that yet you understand the underlying cause of the Mutant changes in yourself

It ks a gift from me which for you regulars provokes excitement and fun.

But you must understand while you won't suffer pain or humiliation or fear the others have

So when you do mutate Your emotions will be controlled. It will guide your mind. While your body changes information is downloaded into your soul.

You will have 2 hours when you lay down to sleep of watching the people that look just like you being tortured to be created to look that way.

It is educational and created by love and guidance so if someone frets and has uncontrolled anxiety -- it doesn't stop but you get additional time with s hologram of me or Alex or one of our mutated victims where heart to heart matters are discussed and you will get a hug and a kiss on the top of your head. Even if yoh do not panic an hour after you will get hologram time to settle your soul and every one gets hugs.

Realize your soulmate gets the same video you do. Same hologram. So we will actually talk about your relationships. Trees will be there live while the holograms are not but computer like generated with wisdom so they should be able to apply to your life and mind perfectly.

Those with dead soulmates and have children will have the option of obtaining them in your Shrek like state.

So those of you that don't feel pretty enough or worthy enough... "No I'm too ugly" or "no I need to lose weight" you won't feel that any more. Not at all. Ever again. I will mutate Your brain/mind/feelings forever as a request from our beloved mutants down below.

So you can save your mutant change for Halloween or a random prank day whatever it may be. Of course all those are fun and you'll have an "I activated mutant changes in me" screen popup in your phones so people don't attack you in fear you are in alien. The screens are interactive so a screen shot cannot be used. It will show in the notification bar. When it is opened the phone will auto lock and so you can show anyone without fear your phone privacy can be viewed. So it will stay in the notification bar until your change is complete. Then after you'll have a beautification notification bar.

Some of us will change dramatically. Some of us won't. We will go back to ancient times where Alex and i had our first life type of beauty. Which means you will look exactly as you did in your first life.

We will have scheduled skin changes for holidays and such but your body and face will remain the same for eternity.

I spoke of when we go to outer space and we have gems and such..

We may not have the skin color changes in tanning beds.. I don't recall. I did that post from memory so updates weren't involved. Pretty sure we have something similar that was more simple.

Lets just keep it as a surprise for now. Its not important in today's education.

But we will have gems as i stated when we go to the moon. And tv bellies.

Anna wished that everyone felt like she did. Hated and loved and beauty and non. Vain and ruthless and childish and angry wanting revenge.

And so you all will.

Obviously the time is ready since you all failed.

Hopefully they alone can save the world since the rest of you so called professionals do not have that ability.

Y'all know I'm gonna throw that in your face quite often so get used to the truth.

I'm not judging I'm not shaming its a mother fucking fact and the facts I do not like. So you need to accept who you are and you've done to continue the destruction of your planet.

Those that felt it was right to save evil or Matt Hagan and other famous evil will have up to 4 hours of viewing true torture of Innocent lives.

It is a movie in your mind you cannot turn off nor sleep through or run away from. It starts with them living life in the 1700s simple rural or simple city life. Them being abducted. Then mutilated.

There are a few different versions... For different levels of understanding and fear.

And your soulmate will be there. So if one of you is worse you'll know by the extreme video you will see.

You cannot avoid this for up to one week after if you choose not to mutate you can choose to see the video at your leisure. If you refuse. You will be forced to on Good Friday. You have no choice.

Every one in the world must understand there are no choices. There are rules you must follow.

I have allowed you to make mistakes.

This is your repercussion.

It is not a punishment. It will stimulate your mental and soul growth. You will cry. You will scream. You will feel like a victim yourself likely. You will get mad.

You will need to KEEP SELF CONTROL

Do not get up and throw shit. Do not get up and beat your kid or husband or wife. Just sit there and watch and grow. If you become overly violent and you cannot have self control you will be paralyzed.

It won't hurt. And you will go back to normal after you take a nap. I've been through the paralyzation process over 5 times. I didn't like it at first but then it became comforting.

Self control

Compassion for others

Your responsibility to keep this Eaerth safe.

You've all failed more than once. You were all here this entire time being reincarnated over and over.

That is why this is so severe.

Basically I'm beating knowledge into you. Taking you and shaking you and kicking you until you fucking get it. It is abuse.

But you abused me. You abused earth by not trying to help this last month but encouraging to kill evil in social media.

So you will know why. This is from me not from them.

I fucking got pissed off because Amazon is so dumb. 54,000 idiots thought they could rule better.

Obviously you cannot.

No one else can and i will prove that to you.

So get yourself together and recognize who the fuck you are and who the fuck I am.

What the fuck you're doing.

Because you don't want to piss me off in the future when I have full powers.

That i can guarantee you.

So for some it will be an enjoyable experience full of warm hearted sadness. And joy. And hope and bliss and cheer. Anger at a sustainable level reserved for future use of revenge. Estimated 72% will enjoy this calm experience. That doesnt feel like control but a valued experience. Which is what it should feel. Like s gift.

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thesinglesjukebox · 5 years ago

Video

youtube

CARDI B - PRESS

[6.00]

"Cardi don't need more press", apparently, but surely a little coverage from her favourite independent singles blog can't hurt...

Katherine St Asaph: I'm sure I'll change my mind after hearing her next splashy pop feature, but absolutely relentless Cardi might be my favorite Cardi. [8]

Andy Hutchins: Pugilism is one of Cardi's fortes, and keyboard savants Slade Da Monsta and Key Wane outfit her with some stunning ring-walk music on "Press," with plinking alien transmission synths and a squashed organ that befit their flyweight champ. And when the snares start rattling, this sounds like a wonderful inversion of the Lex Luger trap sound that stomped so a thousand imitators could walk, run, slouch, and so forth. But Cardi's not really going anywhere, exactly, just shadowboxing the same targets and talking the same shit as ever, and the gunshot sounds that punctuate the hook are distressingly generic for a song that strives to be more. A better prelude than entrée. [5]

Alfred Soto: On realizing that Cardi wasn't covering Paul McCartney's burbling High Reagan wonder, I settled for a manifesto no different in its sanctimony than comparable efforts released from Elvis Costello and Madonna to New Kids on the Block and The Smiths, even if it's more exuberant in its vituperative spirit. Like "Money," "Press" entertains the troops with the artist's tried-and-true while she prepares for the next phase -- if she's got one. This time 'round I savor the pronunciation of "ding DOOOOONG" and a vocal attack that's like a pistol, ahem, pressed into your gut. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: This is so ugly and unmusical that it turns those seeming disadvantages into strengths -- the fact that you're listening at all translates into an argument for Cardi's magnetism. "Press" is not likely to have the same earwormy quality of Cardi's prior hits -- I don't think sorority girls will be rapping along to it a year and a half on from its release -- but it's certainly a memorable work of pop mythmaking. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: The indomitable largeness of the production prompts Cardi to up the ante in order to be heard, with the result being that this sounds more like a losing struggle for dominance than a haughty proclamation of one. It's as if she's in a shouting match with the beat itself, and it makes this record sound oddly insular despite its outward-facing subject matter. The parts where the beat drops out are placed seemingly haphazardly throughout, without the satisfying build-up that's needed in order to make the release enjoyable. The only thing here that remotely qualifies as "subtle" is when she briefly imitates Offset's flow, which should maybe serve as a warning sign of diminishing returns ahead. [3]

Iris Xie: Cardi B, I'm convinced that you could murder me anytime, and I'll die gladly and willingly. However, if I was the subject of "Press," I should know that whatever I did definitely deserved receiving her ire, and whoever Cardi B is pissed about should fucking run for their life. The opening bars sound like slowed-down mutations of The Nightmare on Elm Street, It, and The Twilight Zone theme songs, followed quickly by crouching beats and hostile snare drums as merciful warnings. Cardi B only gives you a few brief seconds before, whoops, you've been sent to another dimension. It is a joy to witness this, because in "Bodak Yellow," her easygoing, sexy, infectious demeanor thinly veils her coiled, simmering preparedness to smash faces to the ground. There is no such buffer in "Press." Other people talk a big game, but Cardi B has a playful-but-forceful presence that is deeply in tune with her desire to never suffer disrespect and to know exactly where to hit them with all of her abandon. Her attempts aren't always successful; the chorus surprisingly needs a slightly deeper mockery and a bit more variance in its cadence to match the ugly venom of the verses, which diminishes a song whose short runtime means every line is a valuable currency. Fortunately, this misstep is quickly smoothed over with the final burst of "pop up, guess who, bitch?" that blends her presence with the twofold horrors of jump scares and gunshots. Still, she hasn't always been this daring; her 2016 track "I Gotta Hurt You" shows hesitation, where the tiny bit of malice gets hidden by goofy EDM trappings. Here though, Cardi B's wit chameleons to reflect that danger, with the lyric "ding dong! must be the whip that I ordered" displaying her keenness to Amazon Prime whoever disrespects her. (Also unintentionally, this line may be prime as a new meme, utterly destined for queers on Twitter ready to spring "she has a big strap" and "please step on me" references.) Her last repeat of "press, press, press" at the end is more successful in expressing a sly mockery that dissolves into a careless apathy. As for me, I've been craving songs that exhibit a willingness to play, exert power, and dive into dangerous, malicious moods, like f(x)'s "Red Light", because since I've been looking for better examples of art willing to fully tap into its dark side, I've noticed how often potentially great songs tiptoe that edge but never make the leap. Case in point, "Press," even with its faults, is what I wished TSwift did with "Look What You Made Me Do." There, our maligned heroine needed to stop hiding behind the goofy melodies, lyrics, and passivity in order to assert her glorious potential as a full-blown Dark!Taylor. Both stars have such incisive intelligence and are terrifying in their precise perception, but Cardi B is willing to do what Taylor didn't and takes her punchback at the press all the way to the edge -- making better art for it. Her readiness to be that candid, combined with her skill, makes Cardi B a standout. She reminds us that, often, there's literally nothing to lose beside ourselves in expressing our honest feelings, and that it's worth the risk, as long as you do the work (and edit afterward.) So, to those hesitant, what the hell are you worried about? [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Cardi B #rap #hip hop #music #music review #writing

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pinksfuckers · 6 years ago

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SEO Hacks You Need to Know Now

Search engine optimization (SEO), a subset of search engine marketing techniques, is the process of enhancing the volume and quality associated with traffic to a web web site from search engines via "natural" ("organic" or "algorithmic") search outcomes. UX is now being focused simply by many among the core SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategies, and it definitely performs an important part in maintaining your articles in top position because lesser bounce rate offers a very positive impact upon SEO of the website. The first keywords in order to Google are guide to SEO with regard to 2018” or SEO guide 2018”. Where I educate you about content marketing, long-tail keywords, and Shopify SEO technique. Among the particular misconception about SEO is that will it will depend on composing the number of keywords a particular time. Your SEO web page title is the title that will is displayed online search outcomes. For the local SEO content strategy in order to be successful focusing on your own local audience and providing true value towards the people within your local area is important not just to local brand name recognition, prominence, and relevance yet also higher pagerank, increased reliability and overall improved user knowledge and conversions. Google, much to the shock of every SEO pro, is usually not obsessed with making the lives more challenging, but rather, will be obsessed with providing their customers with the best user knowledge possible. These links will help a person rank in the Google-maps, plus will also work to assist your business website show upward in the organic search outcomes, if you have your on-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION (what you do and where) set up correctly. With all that said…SEO remains all about content plus links. The SEO content creating strategies are implementing new key phrases, that could make a even more conventional tone. Strengthening the particular brand of a company will be also one of the best SEO trends for 2018. Therefore, Backlink is one the particular nearly all significant in the list associated with ‘SEO trends 2018'. The greatest way to get ahead associated with the personalisation is to create sure that your SEO great enough to rank highly around the traditional ranking system. Keep in mind that will likes and shares and responses on social media posts that will url to you will count with regard to SEO purposes as backlinks. I would just like in order to add that now link making SEO techniques are becoming even more popularity than the traditional back-link. SEO stands with regard to Seo and explains the procedure of getting visibility, authority plus recognition of all websites, internet pages, blog posts by Internet Search engines like google like as Google, Bing, Yahoo that will takes of 92% of company. It appears that with YouTube every funnel is quite popular(as in big) in a given Niche, a person can almost throw out the large chunk of the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION On page off page optimizations, ect, and the video can rank up on page one(also in Google search)…. Links gained in this particular manner are 100% ‘nofollow' plus transfer no SEO juice, which usually makes this method a true waste of time. Within the current post we may be looking specifically at Off-Page SEO and some of the particular most effective ways to raise your page rankings on lookup engines. Backlinks were always one of many initiatives in SEO, but Google provides become a lot stricter upon what qualifies as a high quality backlink. One of the particular biggest trends in SEO within 2018 will be the ongoing expansion of the Knowledge Chart and the growth of Showcased Snippets. SEO Wise Links can automatically link key phrases and phrases in your content and comments with corresponding articles, pages, categories and tags upon your blog. Search engine optimisation strategies and SEO best procedures that were once effective final year may not be helpful today. Because of this, SEOs increasingly adopt sped up mobile pages and optimize the particular user experience for mobile: through page load time for a person to navigation, information architecture, plus design. Get into your competitor's URL into the particular SEMRush search bar and likely to be provided with a listing of SEO keywords, along along with their rankings and traffic. Your own SEO strategy should think regarding how people consume visual content material and the enhancements in just how search engines like google come back results. Content is key yet content alone is no much longer king; content, context, and importance will drive performance of content material and digital marketing, and SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is part although not full package. Though it's not really certain that social networking links straight support SEO delete word, solid social media presence indirectly provide many benefits to brands. These SEO Tendencies of 2018 are ruling the particular digital world. The particular better you get at SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, the more traffic - plus much more leads - most likely likely to attract with time. Cloacking is the kind of black hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, used to present the content material on the webpage to the particular search engine spiders, it provide a different content that the particular user browse in search. They can program a negative SEO attack, delivering a lot of spammy hyperlinks to your website. Many web-content creators concentrate on optimizing various aspect associated with their SEO in areas like as local search, academic research, image search, video search, plus news search among others, which usually involves the information seen simply by search engines, as well because, website visitors. There are various free equipment such as Pro Rank System and SEO Book Rank Band that will help you discover potential longtail keywords. Making use of an SEO advertising campaign can allow you to boost your own rankings via popular search terms that may in turn generate more visitors to your site. I just began concentrating on perfect on-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION techniques, I did some errors inside my previous articles which We have to update now, I actually never used my keyword within first 100 words in just about all my articles and not focused on LSI keywords. Furthermore important to understand that will SEO is already changing plus as we move towards the particular year 2018 only focusing upon organic opportunities should not end up being your ultimate goal, instead along with the evolution search engines generally there are multiple opportunities to enhance your site rankings. When you talk about search ranking in SEO, you're talking about the position of the content on search results pages (SERPs). Simply by following the SEO best methods, an online marketer can spot content on top of some other similar topics. In 2018, SEO entrepreneurs need to up their sport and shift their focus past rank and towards revenue. Google, Bing, plus Yahoo have been the well-known search engines that were recommended to make SEO decisions simply by professionals. Very first, you need to understand exactly how local SEO differs from normal SEO for businesses that depend on customers from all more than the world. Long tail keywords may be very profitable to your own SEO strategy and narrow lower on the needs of particular customers by using descriptive lengthy tail keywords which can end up being very useful to improve traffic. One of the particular most important parts of the particular SEO is creating unique from SEO 2019 Slide ease with proper keywords. I predict the particular biggest SEO trend in 2018 will be companies and people diving into video as the particular written content space gets even more competitive. But there are usually some affordable SEO trends that you may use in 2018 to position your page in Google. Another more modern post is simply titled How to Write for SEO” Advice includes writing from a customer's perspective, forgetting in regards to the hoary idea of keyword density, creating supplemental content for your site and much more. Naturally, the tendencies in SEO strategies vary significantly and rather rapidly, making this essential for marketers to maintain track from the necessary modifications that need to be created to improve user experience. Their full thoughts are usually catalogued in our annual e-book The eBook, titled ‘The Best Explained SEO in 2018: fifty Insiders on the Future associated with Search, ' provides detailed information about many methods from GDRP to Amazon . com Alexa. 2018 is almost all about getting the victory, exactly where the SEO success will not really depend on how you control and optimize your website regarding Google, rather, Google will today search for the technical specifications, which are simple but should. The particular user experience reaches the primary of your SEO strategy. It will become helpful if you share a few on-page SEO tips and just how to perform a keyword study. Is actually important that you think associated with your SEO strategy and targets if you map out all associated with your other internet marketing programs, as they can help enhance your engine optimization with small to no extra effort, apart from some creative thinking. Essential, whenever building links, SEOs focus not really on building any links. It also helps in quicker indexing, which supports boost your own search ranking and drive even more traffic to your website plus as such, if you need to ace the SEO video game in 2018 then implementation associated with AMP is very important. Which was the description but if we follow the particular SEO Trends then it will be considered to be among the particular ranking factors. In the digital advertising world, naturally, this fast-growing trend means that marketers must create new ways to tailor their own SEO strategies to optimize intended for voice search. It's furthermore important to realize that SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is not the only method to show on top associated with search engines. Semantic Research: Further fortifying the importance of this sort of content material creation strategy, as well since the SEO advantages it may translate into, it's essential in order to comprehend Google's recent focus upon something many known as semantic search. Being amongst the leading digital marketing experts, we now have researched more than them and selects few that will will surely have a weighty weightage as SEO 2018. While not really applicable to everyone, if a person have a physical store or even simply want more local web site traffic, local SEO can provide you a nice boost. When asked about the essential cost of an average package deal for SEO services, 60 reactions from 100+ participants including SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION companies and experts were obtained with exact price range billed by them for 10 key phrases per month including on-page marketing & off-page activities like content material marketing and social media marketing and advertising. Notice, with old school SEO”, the particular name of the game grew to become all about long-tail keywords. It will improve your own SEO over multiple engines simply by bringing a hike into your own SERPs. In brief, content and links will nevertheless be the foundation of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION in 2018. Technical SEO is heading to be one of the particular major SEO trends in 2018. one. When you publish an SEO-optimized video on YouTube, you increase your visibility in Google as the whole. While I nevertheless see this trend in have fun with with many enterprises still within the midst of their electronic transformation, the convergence in the particular MarTech space is creating numerous synergies and opportunities and this particular should be seen as a good welcome development for brands plus agencies who are looking intended for an edge when it comes to their SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION driven content marketing or outreach strategies. SEO, or even search engine optimization, is the particular process of improving your web site in a way that enables users find your company even more easily in search results. Is there any program code or something which can assist because I want it intended for my promotion business not regarding the seo. (promotion business circumstance to affiliate links) Anyone may help to find a ideal code with any of the particular techniques like iFrames, or any kind of other will be really really useful. I must declare your talk about techniques and research based factors are really helping to improved SEO back linking. Although We asked about online marketing methods, nearly every marketing practitioner We reached out to mentioned SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION being crucial aspect of expanding either their businesses or their particular clients. 5. Implementing SEO methods enables you to gain useful knowledge of keywords used simply by your potential clients to discover the services or products a person offer. As a marketing strategy regarding increasing a site's relevance, SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION considers how search algorithms function and what people search with regard to. If you've examine from the beginning, you realize that links are a essential SEO ranking factor. I believe that will these types of trends may gradually force us to use the broad view in online marketing and advertising, in contrast to merely look at, regarding instance, SEO. Plus that is local SEO which usually has different ranking factors (Google My Business, citations, reviews). If a person have a brick-and-mortar business, a person need a local SEO technique to ensure people will discover you. Basically, concentrate on the particular things you can control, such as on-page SEO, content quality, web design, social media footprint, and general user experience. This technique may also be referred to as SEO content” or SEO copywriting”. By associating a website with a Search engines My Business profile, getting evaluations that are positive, and distributing to local online directories, nearby businesses can see success within the local SEO realm. A single of the top SEO tendencies is optimizing a site in order to hopefully have the content obtain featured. With no Local SEO campaign, you cannot anticipate to rank highly in Google's search results pages. Simpy put, to prepare intended for AI in SEO 2018, make sure that you develop content that will is valuable, indepth, relevant plus engaging. As Google continues in order to refine its enigmatic search criteria to deliver users probably the most appropriate results, SEO professionals and commentators across the globe have used note of the growing quantity of SEO trends and techniques that are poised to end up being the future of SEO. While that won't get resolved in 2018, we need incorporate the SEO team alongside additional marketing, both paid and possessed initiatives. It does not really take essence of SEO today and another of the most notable ranking factors Google uses in this point. Ranking for seo tips” is a bit easier (medium tail keyword). In addition, lookup engine optimization is infusing key word focus and SEO best procedures across other digital marketing stations, including social, paid, display, plus PR to create optimal outcomes and benefit. Are usually you wondering if keywords is usually going to be crucial in order to SEO in 2018? I think the particular biggest SEO trends in 2018 are the personalization of lookup engine results, featured snippets, cellular first indexing and voice lookup. Backlinks are usually still the most significant component of SEO, but it is usually not concerning the number of inbound links you build it really is usually about creating high-quality backlinks. Mobile responsiveness, page load velocity, image optimization are really great for a site UX. Furthermore, checking and fixing broken hyperlinks, 404 error are good exercise of on-page SEO. Sensing that people were misusing the liberty given to all of them, Google came up with their particular Panda Algorithm and a Penguin update that began penalizing internet sites using such Black Hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategies. Links will carry on to be one of the particular leading SEO components if a person want to rank well within 2018. Understand how to write articles, understand how to write some basic HTML, and the the pretty basic principles of SEO, and you could make money online using SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION and article promotion to obtain your web page (you just need one from each website) listed on Page #1 associated with Google (forget Yahoo and the particular rest) and you will obtain loads of traffic to that will web page. Stat to: seventy two percent of SEOs believe inbound links are a significant ranking aspect, which is surprisingly low. Within order to help you obtain on top of SEO intended for 2018, I'll cover two places here: the trends to view out for and the equipment to take advantage of this particular year. SEO is used as the description for a person, somebody that does search engine optimisation as a job, and because a verb I'm going in order to internet search engine optimize this particular website”. Google takes very serious argument to such Black Hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION techniques. And when you have the handle on that, it's period to optimize your site with regard to the new SEO trends that will I outlined with this guide. Research from Intellectual SEO and others shows the relationship between search rankings plus social signals. SEO content is a mixture of keywords and keyword key phrases. A big component of the internet marketers believe that online marketing is restricted to SEO, SMO & SEARCH ENGINE MARKETING, where in fact, a lot associated with other online marketing strategies possess previously arrived at the finish of 2016 and several of all of them are still coming since the particular beginning of 2017. Today, a person are going to know the best SEO techniques that will assist improve your website's optimization (and traffic) remarkably. Ranking nowadays has more to do along with meaningful and useful content compared to SEO voodoo link crazy backlinking techniques and spending your period on keyword density and additional technical items. HubSpot's SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION tools make it easy in order to quickly track your organic research traffic with a few ticks. I believed it as simple as a good example to illustrate an element of onpage SEO or ‘rank modification', that's white hat, fully Google friendly and not, actually going to cause you the issue with Google. Enhancing your site's on-page SEO and creating or upgrading content to be the greatest result for its target key phrases, knowing to link back in order to your most significant product web pages. A good illustration of White Hat SEO would certainly be a focus on acquiring quality backlinks from related sources that will Details deem credible. Ranking signals all circulation together to help SEO internet marketers create awesomeness. Keyword research is the preliminary step in an ecommerce SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION campaign. Ranking today provides more to do with significant and useful content than SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION voodoo link crazy linking strategies and spending your time upon keyword density as well as other technical products. SEO is increasing findability, user experience, and wedding by making certain content plus messaging is aligned and arranged based on the language that will potential customers and visitors are usually most often using to explain the products, solutions, services or even information that a website is usually providing. With a couple of correct best WordPress SEO procedures you can really see the nice little boost both within SERPs and Google Picture Search. For this reason whenever these people plan to expand their web business; they quickly need in order to take the help of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION optimization services. First, understand that schema markup is one of the almost all effective, least used parts associated with SEO today Schema are generally brief snippets of data that will can give extra information in order to search users and search motors like google. Plus 2018, making your website cellular friendly is the biggest craze in SEO. When we talk about SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION or Local SEO, most companies limit it to Google. A successful SEO technique in 2018 will gravitate in the direction of mobile-friendly websites, content material relevance, brand and relationship advancement. Based upon the previous point, SEOs can think about various landing web pages with proper keywords, meta labels and the overall website framework from the SEO perspective. RankBrain can force a much closer examination of user experience, and SEOs will need to monitor jump rate and average time upon page much more closely compared to they have previously. We all concentrated around the keyword-based aspect associated with all the SEO tools that will included the capabilities, because gowns where most business users can primarily focus. Hence, it's essential to keep track of every Google algorithm change to enhance rankings, organic website traffic plus finally boost SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION.

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