#I mean he was probably right but the script was really funny

[inkher0]

I should also note these were the same guys that wanted to film a sketch with me where it was a Guantanamo Bay interrogation except they were trying to get me to say the N word, but the professor told them no because I'd get in trouble

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : FWB!Yang Jeongin x F!Reader TW : Jeongin is an extreme asshole in this ; reader is pregnant ; lots of arguing ; one of those super cool fast forward moments so I don't keep reusing the same plot ; Jeongin sort of redemption ark but it came too late ; Word Count : 2.9k Request : no, but he's the last one! A/N : The last angsty dad in the series!!! Gonna miss writing these! Also, this one is definitely getting a part 2 which will have MORE angst but a happy ending.

“That was a nice prank you pulled, bud. Had the whole group laughing.” Jeongin muttered into his phone as he walked down the halls of the JYP building. “It’s not funny to fuck around like that though. Especially not at my job. I know that you don’t really give a shit though because your job isn’t as important as mine and something like this won’t fuck up your entire life, but… Ya know, can’t really have a scandal like that going around even if it is a joke.” 

“You done yet?” You asked, trying to hide your agitation at the belittling of your job and pretty much everything that you do, doing your best to hold it together just long enough to tell him that it wasn’t a prank, that it wasn’t some joke. “I haven’t seen you in 2 weeks, and I honestly couldn’t care less about seeing you… But I needed to let you know, and you suck at answering your phone. I’m pregnant, Jeongin.” 

If this was a scripted television show, they probably would have added in the sound of a record scratching just to emphasize the way Jeongin stopped dead center of the hallway, his eyes going wide and his heart feeling like it had frozen. “No the fuck you’re not. That shit isn’t mine if you are though.” You knew that this was exactly how it would go down, you weren’t the slightest bit shocked at the disregard and downright arrogant behavior he was exhibiting right now. “I mean, you obviously sleep around, it could be anyone’s kid. Not my problem. Don’t try to stick me with that shit.” 

“It is yours. If you want to do a paternity test, fine, but I honestly don’t give a damn if you’re around anyway.” You retorted, and you heard him scoff loudly as if he didn’t believe you. “It’s not like you’d be a good father. You’re never around. We weren’t even dating.” You continued, and you could tell that he was getting pissed off by your comments, the way his tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth and he very loudly ran his hand through his hair. “I just wanted you to know that you will have a child in the world, although I’m sure this one isn’t the only one considering your track record.” 

“Have you always been this big of a bitch or is it the hormones?” He snapped, and you suppressed the chuckle that threatened to escape your pursed lips. “And I’ll have you know, I’d be a great fucking dad. I’d be there for him or her whenever they needed me. And don’t try to be a cunt and keep my kid from me either. I know you’re that type of person.” 

“Aww, baby bread sounds a little upset.” You mocked him, and you could tell he was seething, harsh breaths shooting through clenched teeth whistled through the speaker of your phone. “I thought you didn’t want to be stuck with this shit? Sounds like someone changed their mind.” 

“Fuck you. Set up the paternity test and let me know when it is. If that kid ain’t mine though… I’m fucking done with you.” Jeongin hissed, and before you could sarcastically comment back, he had hung up the phone. 

There was no doubt that the child was Jeongins though. You were quite loyal to your beneficial relationship, and while the agreement was that neither of you would catch feelings, it was kind of hard to not catch feelings. Jeongin was the biggest sweetheart behind closed doors when it was just the two of you together. Sometimes he made it feel like you were dating, but that bubble burst just as fast when he’d leave without a kiss goodbye. He didn’t have any feelings for you. You were simply there for his satisfaction and that was all. 

///

“I told you that you were the father.” You mumbled as the test results were handed to both you and Jeongin on separate papers. You didn’t need to stay in the doctor's office any longer though, you had gotten the answers that Jeongin wanted, and now you could leave. “Do with that information what you want, but I was serious when I said I didn’t need you. You don’t have to prove anything to me, and you don’t have to prove anything to the baby.” Was supposed to be the final remark as you got up and started to head out, but Jeongin was quick to follow after you. 

“You might think that I’m an asshole…” Jeongin began and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, walking faster now to try to get away from him, but it was easy for him to keep up. “Just because I don’t want to be with you doesn’t mean that I don’t want anything to do with my kid. It’s my responsibility and my right to be a part of my kid’s life. You don’t get to decide whether I can or can’t be there.” 

“Thank you, Jeongin, for that… sweet sentiment. Make sure you tell all the reporters about what a nice guy you are so that all the fans will love you more.” You spat the words at him as you, quite aggressively, pushed open the door of the office. “I’ll keep you updated. Thank you for coming out today.” You started to walk towards the bus stop, but Jeongins hand wrapped around your elbow and tugged you back towards him. “The fuck are you doing?” 

“You’re carrying my child. You’re not riding the bus.” Jeongin said it as if it should have been obvious as he walked you towards the car that he had rode in. “Get in. And let me know when all of your appointments are so that I can have someone come pick you up and take you back home.” There wasn’t any emotion when he said it, it was all very bland, as if you should have known better than to take your usual way of transportation. 

“This is ridiculous…” You mumbled as you climbed into the backseat, but deep down, you were grateful that you didn’t have to hunt for a seat on the bus like usual. You’d be able to sit comfortably, at least for the next 8 to 9 months. “I still have to take the bus to work so I can afford my appointments and everything that I need.” 

“That job isn’t safe for you in your condition.” Jeongin said, still void of emotion. “I’m going to take care of my child, and my child is currently residing in you, therefore I’m going to take care of you as well. Again, you might think that I’m an asshole, but I’m not going to let you strain yourself and potentially lose the baby. I know it would hurt you, and whether you believe me or not, I’d be upset as well.” 

Although there wasn’t a hint of kindness in his tone, the words alone were enough to show that he did care. It was hard to hate him and be mad at him when acting like this, but you knew that it wasn’t because he cared about you, it was because he cared about the baby… And truthfully, that’s all you could really ask for. “Thank you…” 

///

“Why didn’t you call me first?” Jeongin asked, having spent the better half of his morning pacing the practice room, screwing up his dances, unable to focus at all due to the fact that you didn’t contact him like you usually would. Now that he finally had a break, he was able to call you, which shouldn’t even be a thing considering you didn’t have to work anymore and he was taking care of everything. The least you could do was keep up with the scheduled calls. 

“Because I woke up this morning and things just felt a little… weird… ya know…” You sarcastically stated back, and he hated the fact that you couldn’t just be clear with him. Everything had to have just the tiniest hint of sarcasm in it. You were 8 and a half months pregnant and his worries for the baby were through the roof. He didn’t know when you’d go into labor, he didn’t know anything, and of course, you just had to be a smartass. “So I’m in the hospital-” 

“Hold up! You’re what?!” Jeongin screeched, not even waiting to hear the reasoning behind your sudden trip, he just wanted to get to where you were as soon as humanly possible to make sure his baby is okay. “I told you to stop trying to clean the damn house by yourself. That’s what I hired the maids for. I hired literally everyone that I could to make this easier on you, yet you still act like a fucking idiot. What’s wrong with the baby? Is she okay?” 

“Don’t be a dick.” You huffed, and Jeongin could faintly hear the sound of a machine beeping during the short moment of silence. “Sorry that she doesn’t work around your schedule, but your daughter decided that she wanted to come out today. So, if you feel so inclined to do so, you can come see her be born. I’m not sure how much time you have, I’m already like… I think they said 5 centimeters dilated so… better haul ass.” 

And that he was. He never thought in a million years that he’d be skipping out on practice without even saying anything to one of the guys to watch his beneficial friend give birth to the daughter that he was already devoted entirely to. It was crazy how just the prospect of being a parent made him want to be a better version of himself. “Well tell the doctors to shove a cork in there or something, at least until I make it to the hospital. I’m not missing it.” 

“Will do, buckaroo.” He could just hear the eye roll that came along with it, but then he heard the sound of your pained, labored breathing, and the beeping of the machine sped up momentarily before going back to a steady rhythm. “Just hurry the hell up, I don’t think she’s waiting for anyone. She wants out.” 

///

Raising a child was hard, being an idol and a father at the same time was hard, but coparenting with the girl that you had managed to catch legitimate feelings for over the last 6 years was even harder. How could he not fall in love with you though? Watching you with his daughter was the most strangely attractive thing he’s ever witnessed, and he regretted not asking you to just be his officially when he first found out you were pregnant. That would have saved him from the feeling of jealousy and anger that he felt when you started going out on dates. 

“I don’t know why you’re wasting so much time on these low grade losers. You could do so much better.” Jeongin called to you from the living room as he sat at the makeshift table where he was currently being served Cheetos and a Caprisun by his daughter. “None of them are good enough to even get close to my baby anyway. I feel like I should have a say in who you potentially start bringing home around her, shouldn’t I?” 

You peaked your head out from around the bedroom door and he swears, he’s never seen you look more beautiful. He hated whatever guy was lucky enough to be going out with you right now. “Coming from the biggest eff word boy in the industry… I think that’s quite hypocritical of you.” You teased, sending him the most gorgeous, heart stopping smile, even though he knew it was supposed to irritate him, it only made his stomach fill with butterflies. 

“I’ve changed my ways. The only two beautiful girls I want to spend my days with are Jeongsoo and you.” He leaned back on his hands so he could try to see through the bedroom door where you were getting ready, hoping to see some kind of reaction, even just a smile at his flirtatious attempt. Sadly, Jeongsoo wasn’t too keen on the idea of not being the center of her fathers attention, so she walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder, his gaze quickly turning to look at her sassy, cross armed stance, trying hard not to laugh. 

“Dad. You are gonna go to tea party time out if you do not play right. Do you want to go to tea party time out with Mr. Oink?” She pointed her little finger into the corner of the room where her stuffed pig was sitting staring at the corner and Jeongin quickly shook his head no. “Good. No time out for you.” She nodded her head before going back to her play kitchen. She was almost a carbon copy of you, at least in the attitude department, but he absolutely adored her and he couldn’t imagine a world where she wasn’t sassily living in it. 

“Are you sure you don’t mind babysitting her? I know you’d rather be out with the guys right now.” You said as you came out of the bedroom, the little dress that you were wearing hugged all of your curves, and while Jeongin didn’t know anything about the guy that you were going out on a date with tonight, he hated everything about him. “I’ll pay you back tonight for watching her.” 

He rolled his eyes, wanting nothing more than to get up off the floor and go over to you and grab you by the waist and kiss you, but the thought of being in tea party time out was keeping him from doing so, especially since Mr. Oink had been staring at the corner for a good hour and a half now. “You don’t have to pay me for spending time with my daughter. It’s not even considered babysitting. I think you’re forgetting that she’s literally half me.” He commented, hoping that maybe pointing out the fact that the daughter that you both loved so much was the most perfect blend of the two of you would have you second guessing going on that date. 

“Well I’ll still pay you. I think the girls you hook up with at least deserve a good dinner before they find out they’re just your friend.” You teased, but he knew that was also a jab at the way he had gotten with you. He had only taken you to McDonalds once before taking you to his bedroom, and for that, he feels like shit because you did deserve better, you still do. “He’s here. I’ll be back in an hour or two…” You said, and he absolutely despised how giddy you looked to go out and meet this stranger who was most definitely not good enough for you. 

You ran over to where your daughter was still working at her play kitchen, ruffling her hair and then bending over to press a kiss to the top of her head before telling her you love her. “Call me if he does anything weird. I’ll have a guy from security pick you up. Just let me know where you are.” Jeongin said as you headed towards the door, and while you always thought that it was simply because he didn’t want anything happening to the mother of his child, it was because he didn’t want anything to happen to you. He loved you, and every single time you walked out that door to meet someone new, he was one step closer to never being with you at all. 

The door closed behind you and he let out a heavy sigh, running his hand through his hair before taking a sip of his juice box and falling flat onto the floor. “Daaad!” Jeongsoo whined when she heard his head land against the hardwood floor. “You getting sleepy? You didn’ even finish your cheetos.” She huffed softly, the sound almost like a recording of your own voice. “Whatchu wanna do now?” She asked, and Jeongin pushed himself up off the floor, scooping her up into his arms in the process. 

“Let’s watch a movie. Get Mr. Oink out of time out real quick though, I think he feels a little sad.” Jeongsoos mouth popped open in shock as she ran over to retrieve her forgotten stuffed animal before returning to the couch and sitting next to Jeongin. “We’ll watch a movie and eat some ice cream, and then it’s time for bed, okie dokie?” She nodded her head in agreement as Jeongin flipped through the movies on the tv. 

It was a good night, he tried to remind himself of that as his daughter peacefully slept curled up against him. The movie was turned down almost completely, the only sound filling the silence was Jeongsoos soft snores. He waited for the text from you, telling him to send someone to pick you up and bring you back home to him and your little family, but it never came. He didn’t want to go out with the guys tonight, he didn’t want to meet anyone else… All he wanted was you. How perfect the night could have been if you had been here, sitting opposite of Jeongsoo, his arm draped over the back of the couch to gently run his fingers through your hair as you both focused on the movie in front of you. That would never happen though. He was too scared to ask you now, and surely there would be someone else out there that you thought was more deserving of your love than he was… And maybe you would be right… He had let you go, and now he had to sit back and pretend that it didn’t break his heart each time he’d watch you leave. 

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[namtanlovesfilm]

burnout syndrome: everything we know & my guesses

since burnout syndrome seems to be in its very early stages of development, here is what we know & certain of my plot point guesses:

while the show is written by jittirain (who wrote theory of love), it does not come from one of her novels. it will therefore be an original script made for this series.

offgun must have had some details about doing this show for about 6 months, since off has worked out very intensely almost every day since then (since p'nuchie required it for this role), and it also coincides with gun saying that off would have a six pack next year. I believe offgun had a knowledge that their next show would be more mature & sexual, which is when p'nuchie got brought in, and I believe dew arrived later as the third one in the love triangle, around the same time jittirain signed on.

p'nuchie working with offgun again is surprising considering her previous treatment by gmmtv (cutting her budget repeatedly & not promoting not me at all despite p'nuchie being a big deal director), however it is not THAT surprising since not me was by far her most popular & mainstream project, and she has always had a soft spot for gun with whom she has worked repeatedly. she also seems quite close to off.

now, for the plot: we do not know any character's name or much about them at all, which is why this project really seems to still be in its infancy. I would not expect an early 2025 release... I think this will be an end of the year release à la not me & cooking crush.

gun seems to play a poor character compared to white in not me, while off plays a rich character compared to sean in not me... it's a role reversal! gun's character seems to be the struggling artist type, and an openly queer character. he's basically yok from not me (yes I'm keeping the not me comparisons bc there's a LOT!) he's down to do any odd job for money which is how he meets off's character. he seems quite daring & confident, while also a bit introverted & in his own world.

off's character definitely has todd vibes for me (and not just bc that pool kiss scene reminded me of the first toddblack confrontation lol). he seems to be a businessman but is very shady. he is described as a "bad boy" by emi's character, and he hires gun to be his "stand-in"... but he's still in the same room, dictating everything to him?? he says he doesn't like people, but what does it mean exactly? does he have a phobia of people? then in this case, why is he going outside so easily? all of these questions will be answered once the script will be fully written imo. I think that, just like not me, the mock trailer & final show will be very different but evoke the same vibe & characters. in any case, off's character is highly intriguing, he's clearly a red flag & kind of a weirdo, and I can't wait to know more!

next we have dew's character, who is a fortune teller? probably not as a job but as a hobby? (side note, I find it funny that so many gmmtv 2025 featured fortune tellers & psychics lol.) although I feel like choosing dew for the role bc they seem to make him want to seem a soft nerd against off's character who's possessive & rough is kind of a miscast bc since dew is SO tall he just doesn't give off these kinds of vibes imo, I'm quite interested in this love triangle. both dew & gun seem to like each other, and gun's tears when dew leaves are giving SERIOUS "in love" vibes. HOWEVER, gun's character definitely has a strong attraction for off & uses him as his artistic muse... the last quote of the trailer is "if one day he has a heart... I can love him, right?" indicating that off's character has shown gun that he has no heart but gun falls for him anyways... I JUST WANNA KNOW THE BACK STORY FOR THESE CHARACTERS SO BAD BC I KNOW IT'S GONNA HIT SO HARD!!! but to get back to dew, I really wanna know where he fits into this story, because...

this is almost guaranteed to be an offgun endgame. I say almost bc there's always the possibility of it being a poly endgame but let's be for real, I don't see dewoff having any chemistry lol (though they can surprise me, I didn't think dew would have romantic chemistry with gun either!) but the fact that offgun have been a stable ship for 9 years, that they came out on stage from a different platform than dew, the positioning in the poster... and also everything in the trailer indicates that they are endgame. I'm curious to see what happens to dew then though lol, we shall see.

I'm very curious about emi's role. she obviously played gun's sister in the trainee, and now she plays his best friend so she's now the only actor who has been featured in 2 offgun shows with sing, especially back to back lol! seeing how there's only 5 characters shown for now & she was in the main actors list alongside offgundew... I think she'll have a big role, but I have no idea what it can be. in any case, I stan!

lastly for the characters, we have thor, who I'm also really intrigued by. we know he works in burnout bar but WHAT is burnout bar? why do they match random people by numbers? does everyone who comes there needs to be burned out? as a background place for the show, this bar is interesting & reminds me of the one in the jungle (which also featured off!) I wonder if we'll see off in that bar, even though it's been established as dewgun's place in the mock trailer, it's too central to the story to keep its main character out of it for the whole show. I'm hoping thor has a bigger role than just the bartender lol.

in conclusion, a lot of things are very vague about this show, which is a bit frustrating bc I WANNA KNOW MORE, but also really nice bc it means that, compared to certain other shows from gmmtv 2025, we won't be spoiled most of the story by the trailer :) also I'm betting that they will add one or two other cast members, but they haven't written the show yet so all of the characters aren't fleshed out yet. anyways, I can't wait! 💚💚💚

EDIT: turns out I have more to say lol

so I was looking at the poster closely while editing my thumbnail for my gmmtv 2025 reaction video, and I noticed something:

the whole poster is in red tones: the background, the title, the lighting in their hair... and their clothes... EXCEPT for dew's shirt.

although this is just a mock poster & once again, the show will likely evolve once the script is written, the visual story telling of this poster is extremely interesting!

dew's shirt is light blue compared to the rest of the poster which is overwhelmingly red. blue represents calm and peace, which seems in line with the little we have seen from dew's character so far.

gun's shirt is pink. in terms of value, him & dew both have lighter colored shirts, but in different families. dew's blue is a cold color while gun's pink is a warm color.

now onto off, who has a dark red shirt. in terms of value, his is completely different from both dew and gun's, which also fits the little of his character we've seen. he is called a "bad boy" and "chaos" in this trailer after all, which fits the darker red color well. however, in terms of color family, off & gun are more in line bc they're both wearing a shade of red which is a warm color. since this show will clearly hinge on their sexual desire for one another, this makes sense. and since the poster unity is in the red, which IS the color of passion, sex, and violence, it is clear that offgun are the main pairing of this show, with off's hand on gun's head while dew is only passively touching gun by being close to him.

although red is the color of violence, I don't think there will be much physical violence in this show, as the trailer didn't hint for it at all. although I wouldn't be surprised we get a scene of off & dew sparring to stay in line with the classic bl love triangle tropes. though since dew is much taller than off, I wonder how they'd make it look like a fair fight lmao.

anyways, back to the poster. by having gun & dew's clothes in the same value which is light, as well as dew snuggling to gun's heart, we can infere that gun will first like dew. after all, we meet dew before off in the trailer, and it seems to be the same for gun's character. dew is the "good guy" in this show, the one that "makes sense", where things are "easy." however, his clothes ARE in a different color family as gun's. blue is calm, but it's also cold. which is why dew seems to be able to walk away from his job with off, and more importantly, gun, in the trailer.

but for off, whose clothes are darker than gun, showing his "bad" side, he is at least in the same color family as gun's. we see in the trailer that gun has a lot of sexual desire for off, which is clear with the drawing he does of him where off's genitals are OUT and he's touching himself:

side note - I'm gonna need the full nude scene to include the moment off touches himself while gun dies in a sea of desire bc I genuinely think this will be the peak of queer cinema. yok in not me said nude drawing isn't sexual? make it. please p'nuchie, make it sexual in burnout syndrome 🙏

second side note - damn they made off's waist so snatched in that drawing, I love it 😏

ANYWAYS to conclude: we have offgun showing so much more visual cohesion in this poster, which really makes me think this will not be a full love triangle (in a poly way) but a show where the logical suitor (dew) gets overtaken by the chaotic, messy one (off.) now, how are they going to make it make sense and make us root for the bad boy? idk & I CANNOT wait!

although I do think that having dew (light blue) and off (dark red) have some sort of gay scene together WOULD make sense, and it would even more make sense that they wouldn't work bc they're literal opposites in everything, creating even more stakes in the love triangle.

that's it, I've ruled out that I don't want a poly ship or any trio scene, I want offdew having hooked up in the past & it haunting them LMAO

[onesidedradiostatic]

Obviously Angel’s time with the Vees was terrible but I gotta wonder, knowing what kind of disasters they are, did he ever bear witness to embarrassing moments that the Vees would DIE from if knowledge of it ever got out?

Did Vox ever attempt to create a shitty music AI with his own voice that churned out the most garbage songs Hell would ever hear, especially the country ones, that Angel would be asked to dance in the music videos for? Eventually the crew convinced Vox that the music was too shit to release to the public and now the audio files are locked away no one has access to (Angel has access though. He always finds a way).

And did Velvette and Valentino ever get into arguments about Val misusing slang words in his scripts and one day Angel had to wait over an hour, tied to a bed in black dress waiting for them to stop debating about the appropriate usage of the word “YEET”? Needless to say he eventually opted to just take a nap. He was already hogtied to the bed anyway.

But also, did Angel and the crew ever have to witness Vox and Val airing their sexual frustrations with each other? I’m just imagining the poor crew bearing witness to the saddest display of a sexual tension-fueled argument that always ends with them dropping the most pathetic clap backs and disses at each other and one of them storming out like it’s a really shitty soap opera.

Meanwhile Angel is wondering if maybe he should just suggest the two of them just hook up and maybe they’ll both calm the fuck down.

But then they do hook up and they still don’t calm the fuck down.

Unfortunately for Angel he now knows way too much about the intricacies of Vox’s…anatomy from Val and whenever he has to hear about it he thinks, “Can you just get me high right now? I do not wanna be sober during this, please.” Also he comes to the conclusion that Vox is terrible in bed and Valentino has shit taste.

But then Vox begins bragging in uncomfortably hilarious and pathetic detail about the “sexy” things he and Val do to the point where not only does the crew question if this counts as sexual harassment, but Angel starts contemplating if HE needs to fuck Vox to get him to calm the fuck down because apparently Val is ALSO terrible in bed when with a consenting partner, and this loser is NOT gonna learn what good sex is otherwise.

This started out as a speculation in the dumb things Angel witnessed with the Vees and it just snowballed into Angel suffering through StaticMoth’s absurd bullshit because they’re both the fucking worst.

WHAT IS THIS HELP. I mean he did live in the v tower for a while he probably has seen a good chunk of shit. tbf there is a chance he was just high a lot of the time when it came to the vees' bullshit but this is funny

[barren-heart]

The Hidden Love Story of What We Do in the Shadows: How The Internet Fell in Love with Harvey Guillen’s Guillermo de la Cruz

I think it’s fair to call this show what it is: a comedy.

The actors have said it’s themselves: the show is 50% improv, 50% script. A lot of what we see is a brilliant collaboration of talent, writing, and the actors saying the funniest thing they can say about something in that moment.

According to Harvey Guillen, some scenes would last 30 minutes each if they didn’t cut it down. That improv is what makes the show what is it: the funniest show on television.

What’s interesting about this little Shit and Fart show (affectionate), is the heart of it all: Guillermo.

Originally the show was looking for an older man to play Nandor’s familiar. The character had worked for his master for 20 years, not 10 as we see in the pilot episode.

Harvey got an audition randomly. At a wine and cheese night of a friend’s, he was invited to audition for the part. It was random, but also, it was fate.

Let me explain.

Harvey Guillen auditioning for the role of Guillermo

(I actually have the full audition tape of Harvey’s if anyone’s interested.) Link below!

Harvey didn’t “fit the part” (Harvey’s words) whatsoever of this character and decided to dress himself to look older, putting on what he calls his Harry Potter glasses and parted his hair down the middle.

The Guillermo we see in the pilot was all Harvey’s idea of what that character should be and the costuming department just ran with it. It’s also fun to point out that to those who don’t know, Harvey created Guillermo’s last name even before he knew he’d play the show’s Vampire Slayer.

I mention this because I don’t think they (showrunner, producers,etc) expected Guillermo to become such a fan favorite. Which kinda explains why his character is the punching bag of season one and why it somewhat changes as seasons go by.

I mean, we don’t even see Guillermo in this season one poster (we don’t see Colin Robinson, either. But I feel like I could write an entirely other post about that character and why I think he’s genuinely the best and most consistently written character on the show. But I won’t right now).

I think they expected Guillermo to be a one-note side kick, which is fine. Many of Harvey’s previous roles were nearly background characters (think Benedict Pickwick in The Magicians).

But, Harvey’s take on the character coupled with his talent at being both comedic and dramatic really shined through. And I think that’s where you start to see that maybe they could do more with him than just being the funny guy in the background.

I also think that’s why you start to see some threading of a more serious plot when it comes to Guillermo’s storyline because of Harvey’s range.

Who would’ve known a funny bit like being a Van Helsing descent in a house full of vampires would get you compelling scenes like the familiar fight The Night Market, Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires, and the Nandor and Guillermo fight in The Portrait?

Harvey mentioned having to train for these and wanted to do his own stunts! And he does them well!

Did they imagine Guillermo being such a badass in the pilot? Probably not. But he is and people took to it. The serious fight scenes (even with bits of comedy filtered in) really stand out in their own as excellent action scenes.

Along with badass scenes, Harvey delivered compelling emotional scenes like Guillermo’s coming out (which Harvey actually cried in as well as other cast and crew, and they had to edit it to not make it too serious), the scene he left Nandor for Celeste, and many scenes in S5’s Exit Interview.

I also think they didn’t anticipate his chemistry with Kayvan Novak. It’s brought up a lot in interviews with them and everyone can tell that they genuinely are really good friends in real life, which makes acting together on screen that much better.

(Funny enough, he was supposed to do a chemistry read with Kayvan before shooting and wasn’t able to meet him until they were on set for the pilot. )

I think in some ways, even though the show wanted it to be a funny Gaston and Lefou type relationship, Kayvan and Harvey had undeniable chemistry you couldn’t deny.

And I think that began to grow with their character’s evolving relationship. From master and servant to friends to sometimes the show and network alluding to them being in a romance (Guillermo’s drunk love confession, Marwa liking what Nandor likes, the Network making videos about shipping Nandermo).

And even Paul Simms (the one who is being grilled for That’s His Boss quote), also said “Guillermo and Nandor is the greatest love story in modern television.”

So yeah, I think originally they started the show with the intention that it was supposed to be similar to the movie that shares its name. The Nandor/Guillermo drama of Shadows the TV show would be so out of place in the movie. The whole Guillermo vampire arc, if it was movie inspired, would not be as dramatic as they have made it in the show.

Looking back to the pilot, I can see that they really tried to make it as close to the source material as possible. But I think it took off in a direction that even the creators didn’t imagine it would go. Just a silly little comedy show about silly little vampires. And don’t get me wrong, it still definitely is.

But the show has evolved. And for better or worse, Nandor and Guillermo’s relationship will be one of the most compelling things about the show and I’m curious where they are going to take it now.

I guess this turned into a bit of an Harvey Guillen appreciation post and honestly, why not? Look at that adorable face.

[puniflash]

The Fall Guy

This movie has completely taken control over my existence, so here are the little things I love most about it, in no particular order.

The triple meaning of the title.

Colt not just being the fall guy in the sense of the stunt community, but also (almost) taking the fall for Henry's murder, and falling in love with Jody so deeply he'd basically die for her.

This is so cool, and I love the english language for it.

(Also, the little fall guy in the A? Perfection.)

The long shots.

My love for one-ers is just as big as Jody's, I guess.

The opening sequence is just so perfect.

Introducing the main characters, establishing Colt's and Jody's relationship and setting high stakes from the beginning with that stunt gone wrong.

This long shot shows you exactly what kind of movie you're gonna watch, and it's probably one of my favourite opening sequences in a movie ever.

This one is so perfect, too.

Jody trying to come up with answers for everyone, and keeping everything under control amuses me and stresses me out in equal messure.

And talking from the little personal experience I have, this sequence (and the whole movie for that matter) captures the work on set so accurately. It's truly amazing.

Long shots like this take so much time and effort to coordinate, and I just love, and appreciate it so much when movies do that. It's so impressive, and so fun to watch.

The prayer hands emoji.

Tom sending Colt nothing more than a prayer hands emoji because he just doesn't care about his well-being at all.

(I mean, he is in fact responsible for Colt's accident, so it's savage but not surprising.)

And then Colt giving that prick at his valet job the exact gesture because the guy acts like an asshole, and Colt couldn't care less about his crispy fiver.

Gold.

The script credits.

This is genius, and I love everything about it!

When you pause the movie and read everthing, you can see there are actual excerpts from the movie script, just a little modified, to fit the credits.

When I saw this for the first time it totally caught me by surprise, and now it is everything I never knew I needed.

This entire conversation.

Jody asking: "Did you fall?" is so ironic, I wanna scream.

Girl, of course he fell. FOR YOU!

And Colt is so high on whatever kind of drug they spiked his drink with, it's so endlessly funny to me.

Plus the way he just can't stop himself from telling Jody how beautiful she is over and over again, while completely ignoring her concern about his wounds.

Not to mention the extended version of this with that sponge bath discussion.

(Haven't seen the extendet cut yet but saw the scene on YouTube a milion times. I die everytime for multiple reasons.)

I could watch a whole movie of them just having a conversation like this.

Bonus:

Everytime I watch this I end up questioning my sanity, cause I feel like he spontaneously gets me pregnant with whatever it is he does here.

Every. Single. Time.

The way his eyes move from her eyes to her lips?

How Jody didn't just lose her mind, and all ability to breathe right then and there is beyond me.

Split Screen.

Another conversation that is just perfect in it's entirety.

The split screen opening exactly on the middle line of that shelf in the backround is satisfying me in a way that should put me in a mental facility.

Colt and Jody being so in sync and mirroring each other during this whole conversation, even after being apart for like 18 months is so special to me.

Colt knowing her favourite movies?

Their love for each other really is a different kind of epic.

The music matching the movie.

This is pure perfection, and I will never shut up about it.

The bottle equals the promise.

The container is turning around in an uncontrollable spin.

Also:

The Song "Dead Guy On Ice" from the original soundtrack is playing right when Colt says this to Gail on the phone.

Also, also:

"I was made for loving you" being woven into so many songs of the original soundtrack, and returning over and over throughout the whole movie in different ways.

It gives me James Bond vibes, and that just makes my heart smile.

I could go on and on about how much joy this sparks in me, everytime I watch the movie. It never fails to make me smile.

Jean Claude.

Nothing to add here, he's such a bon garçon.

Also, the fact that Colt and Jody just keep him after the happenings of the film, is probably my favourite thing ever.

(And I never knew I needed to hear Ryan Gosling speak french, but apparently it's something my body and soul desired very much.)

The post-it notes.

I am OBSESSED with this. Literally the most relatable thing about Tom Ryder. I love using post-it notes for all kinds of stuff when my brain gets overwhelmed, so this is just too real.

"FIRE MASSUSE"

"PRETEND YOU WENT TO JULLIARD"

"next role: paramedic vampire"

"is it MOMOA or MAMOA"

These are cracking me up so hard, I can't.

The cockroach story.

This seriously isn't talked about enough.

Right when I thought I couldn't fall any deeper for Colt's and Jody's relationship, they hit me with this.

Just imagine Colt on all fours, trying to usher that coakroach out of the room, while Jody just sits on the bed, telling him to get it done because she wants to start their movie night.

The domesticity this story implies is killing me in the best way possible.

You're so uncoordinated.

Another thing we just don't talk about enough is this scene right at the beginning:

This is kinda blurry but he totally bumbs her head on that cabinet behind her, and all she does is laugh it off and tell him he's uncoordinated.

And I just love the thought of Colt being this super profesh stuntman, always double-checking everything to make sure it's safe to do the stunts and roll the cameras, but going back to being so adorably clumsy the second the adrenaline rush wears off.

I will never get over this.

That's my girl.

Colt reacting like this when Gail says "That's my girl." is everything to me.

It's so cute, and you know it's exactly what he thought as well, 'cause he is so freaking proud of Jody. It's just so perfect.

"You blew yourself up!"

Tom telling Colt he's supposed to be dead 'cause he blew himself up, then proceeding to blow himself up is amazing writing, and shows how much thought went into this whole thing.

This movie is so good at foreshadowing itself, and I can't get enough of it.

Bonus:

He gets three bars on his phone, and then there are three explosions errupting.

This is satisfying my brain on another level. I can't even put it into words.

Spicy margaritas

Yet another beautiful conversation, that comes full-circle in the end.

Just casually planning a trip to the beach in the middle of the film production chaos, I love that for them.

(The way Ryan says "spicy margarita" is a beautiful thing, that haunts my dreams in the best way possible.)

In conclusion

I love this movie with all my heart, and I could talk hours and hours about how amazing it is.

There's so much more I love about it, but it's just too much to fit it all in here, so these are just the small things that make it extra special for me.

Honerable mentions go to:

- Dan Tucker, master of movie quotes, and best friend Colt Seavers could ever ask for.

- Colt Seavers' coffee side quest.

- The movie lighting a Ryan Gosling sized fire under my ass, prompting me to forget about life, and get a new obsession.

[resurrectionist3]

Question for the Heretic (2024) fandom

- Spoilers for sure so be careful -

I’ve been thinking about this every since i watched the film. Everything about it, even the ending, i think i understand and have a grasp of. But there’s one thing slipping me and its been bothering me for almost a week now.

Right before Paxton and Barnes choose the door they’re going to walk through, as a final attempt at getting on Mr. Reed’s good side, Sister Paxton laughs and says “you have a beautiful house Mr. Reed. Did you build it yourself?” Or something along those lines.

Mr. Reed smiles and says “My wife built it.”

Up until this point, it’s understood that any time Mr. Reed mentions his wife, he’s lying. From the start, he was lying about having a wife and her being home with him to make the girls comfortable enough to go inside. And that leads to the blueberry pie candle that tricked the girls into thinking his “wife” was actually baking a pie. Any time his wife is mentioned, he’s lying.

So when he says that “his wife” built the house, what does that MEAN??? Surely someone had to make the house the way it was and it’s mainly implied throughout the rest of the film that Mr. Reed did all of that. I mean who else would have need for a layered torture basement, lights and locks set to timers, and a room made entirely to look like the inside of a church?? Its not like he bought it like that…

And then after going through the doors when the prophet first enters with the pie, Barnes and Paxton (and me too honestly) thought for a minute that she was Mrs. Reed. Maybe she was at one point but i feel like if that were the case, that would have been a big reveal. But Reed only ever refers to her as “The Prophet” and then of course she dies and gets quickly replaced.

Then i started to wonder whether or not he meant it figuratively. If he did have a wife once, maybe something happened to her or something she did or said in the past led him to do all his research to discover the One True Religion. So then when he says “my wife built this house”, it really means that her existence and/or past actions led him down this path, and her indirectly creating and becoming the foundation for “this house” or for his ideologies and the reasons for his actions (hopefully that makes sense).

Or maybe he was messing with them. At this point, the girls know that theres no wife. And Reed knows that they know. So is him saying “my wife built it” just a rude jab at them? Or a joke? But then whats the point of that other than to be weird and confusing (thats very on brand for him though, I cant even lie). And again, what does it mean?? Is it his way of saying “well duh obviously i built it. Who else do you think, my wife?” That would’ve been funny if he said that but he didn’t say it like that. So im inclined to believe that its not like that.

After that point with the prophet, there’s genuinely no other significant mention of a “wife” for Mr. Reed.

Another thing that struck me as odd was the constant reminder of his lie. Him drinking from the cup and mug that say “hubby” and yet no paired ones that say “wifey”. He wears a wedding ring, and i can accept that he does all of that to trick his victims. But even at the end of the film when he’s clinging to life and crawling across the basement trying to get to Sister Paxton, Mr. Reed is STILL wearing the ring. Clearly the facade has been broken, he doesn’t need to trick anyone anymore so why not take the ring off? It just feels so intentional to me for him to have it on the entire time, especially when the mention of his wife (or lack thereof) was so significant at the beginning.

As you can see, it’s been absolutely killing me. I’m probably looking way too far into it, and no one else seems to be that interested in this single line. But in a movie like this (and any A24 film to be so honest) EVERYTHING feels intentional. Especially the script. So there’s no way this just doesn’t mean anything. So if anyone has anymore insight that would really be beautiful and beneficial to my mental health because this is seriously driving me crazy.

Hey also also… why does no one have a first name in this film? Whats that about.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Episode 4! Let the unhingedness commence!

Aaaand this is why getting wasted before ropeplay is not the best idea.

Safety first, kiddos.

This house looks familiar - have we been in this interior for another series?

Love that the translators are familiar with American slang.

Fadel is just completely right, all the time. No wonder the poor dude is so tired and angry.

Poor Bison. He wants this to be real so badly.

The funny thing is, he's not actually in love yet. He just really really wants to be.

I do look forward to when all these idiots are insanely in love with each other, and acting accordingly.

Haha, one time and Style is totally hooked.

It's cute you can see he did get some of his personality from his dad.

Lol, Fadel, how's that whole "I'll fuck him once to get this over with" working out for you?

The costumer designers nailing it once again!

Lol, Style just lying back in the "take me!" pose. He wants another railing so badly.

Yeah, knew Fadel was just fucking with him. He's not ready to crack yet.

Fadel, change your gloves!!! This show and food safety, good grief.

I do like that Bison is more suspicious here. He's not stupid! Just wants love.

Oh no, is Babe getting beat up at school? Ooh, are we going to get Bison fucking up some bullies?

It feels like Bison has some first hand experience with this kind of thing at school. :(

Oh Style, you are already getting emotionally invested here.

Noooo, not the homophobic bullying. These poor babies.

The teacher? I'm not surprised, but damn. Oh please fuck this dude up.

I love them as a united front.

Before this show ends, I really need all four of them working together to take someone down.

Also still laughing about the janitor and PE teacher thing, cuz it does fit the outfits.

Ha, they brought it up again!

Beating up a pedophile with a toilet plunger, A+, no notes.

Yessss, love that Kant realizes this guy would be a repeat offender, and that beating him up isn't enough.

Oh Style... coming to the support group again is such a shitty thing to do. In character, but shitty. The man is 100% wounded pride at the moment.

Omg, dying.

There is a very different version of this show where Fadel literally has to murder this man to be left alone.

I love how First is playing Kant, where every once in a while there is just a slight hint of fear as he remembers what Bison is.

Gah, the cuteness! It doesn't matter which characters, when First & Khao get flirty, I get all giggly.

Heart-giving via burger pin, that's a new one.

Y'know I'm so used to thinking of First and Khaotung as GMMTV's top actors, but Joong is fucking blowing me away in this role. I think this is such proof of how many actors are often limited by the material they are given, and when they get the right script and director, they just soar. Joong is feasting on this material.

I do feel for Fadel, both for the loss of control, and the realization that "loudmouth dumbass" is his type.

One, this scene is amazing,

and two, I have to laugh that this is the least sexy place to be getting it on - which is of course probably why Fadel picked it, and yet he broke anyway.

Aww, I love sweet sibling moments.

Gah, having Style talk about the car just makes me think about how much Fadel's heart is going to break.

How is it that we have two men who murder people on a regular basis, and I want the two non-murdering ones to be the ones who eat all the crow later. Jojo you devious bastard.

Truth

Ha, Style's argument - "you can still jerk off, just do it with me in the room!"

Oh, is Kant finally going to tell Style?

Oooh, twist - were Fadel and Bison's parents targeted so they could be acquired, or was the murder the main plan, and the boys were a secondary prize? I mean, it was definitely Mother who was behind it, right? This guy is just a patsy?

Poor Style, as much of an annoying jerk as he is, this is a hard recontextualization of everything that he's done up to this point.

Kant, you are being such a dick to your friend! First for not telling him, and now for pressuring him to keep dating an assassin. Of course he wouldn't be able to quit Fadel anyway, but you don't know that!

And again, First nailing the uncertainty when Kant doesn't have anyone looking at him.

Oh, I am not going to survive flirty Fadel.

Well, Fadel did say he prefers being the pursuer... he's gonna get his chance.

Everything is so heightened by having two killers in the mix, Kant's ex better be careful.

Lol, Bison being all "I will get my romantic love, or you will suffer".

Rating - still unhinged, still super fun

[nobody-viii]

The Turks - Context Clues (The Kids Are Alright)

@accala posted an excellent inquisitive post about the Turks here and their motivations and to add some The Kids Are Alright: A Turks Side Story book context, imma leave this here. Couldn't find the quote I was looking for, but here's some things I found interesting. NOTE: I feel like Advent Children did the Turks a little dirty, but I really loved the banter as a kid. This book has some of the same campy shortcomings, but take it or leave it, here's what I found.

1.) The Healen Lodge from Advent Children was an R&R facility for Shinra, universally accepted as the worst one by employees. The Turks/Rufus chose it for its tactical advantages, but it also shows how far back on their heels they were. "The Shinra empire had ruled most of the world up until two short years ago, and it didn't sit right with Elena that the company president had to live in such a desolate place. Yes, medical treatment was available, security was way better away from the city, and the commute was only two hours by car; the staff could have had it much worse." - pg. 14

2.) The abandoned rec hall was being used by Shinra as a lab to convert SOLDIER stimulants into geostigma treatments. The project was Elena's idea, with the resulting medication being donated free of charge to city medical professionals and the WRO. (pp. 16-17)

3.) Reno & Rude were sent into the city to retrieve a stolen item from a teenager (read the book for details I'm too lazy to go into it), and when he started crying and shaking, Reno and Rude switched to a new script. "Aw, look. The kid's really scared." The redhead sounded sympathetic now. "That's what we came to do," the bald one pointed out. And: "Now, we put on our best tough-guys acts on the way over, so we can't just leave without roughing anyone up," said the redhead. "Our job is to teach a lesson to anyone who tries to mess with us." I was still scrambling for an explanation to give them. "Y-you mean, kill me?" was what came out instead. My voice even cracked for good measure. "That's one way to teach a lesson. But we're trying to strike a balance for Shinra, here. We want everyone to love us and maybe be a little bit scared. Killing you would have the opposite effect." (pg. 23) Reno opted to punch the kid in the face, then tell him to keep his chin up, so...balance? Sure. Shinra is, at this point, technically trying to figure out their PR while simultaneously leaning on old habits. Also, the kid calls Reno and Rude a knife and a fork and I thought that was funny.

4.) Reno is described as someone who looked like he 'turned delinquent as a teenager and never grew out of it, like those kids in the Sector Eight warehouses who I still hated and admired in equal measure.' (pg. 23)

5.) Elena roughs up one of the protagonists, but reins herself in when context is presented: She'd paid a visit intending to break Fabio's dominant arm, but when she saw him fight back to protect the child, she changed her plan. Her objective was to punish a thief, not deprive a child with geostigma of his only guardian. (pg. 47)

6.) Reno calls a doctor for the guy he roughed up. Kyrie nodded. "I figured, these guys must have phones, so I asked them to call Dr. Drake. 'Evan's in a bad way 'cause you guys beat him up,' I told them. And guess what? They said they don't know any Evan. So I lost it and said, 'Yeah, 'cause Evan's the one you whaled on when you mixed him up with Fabio. You owe him..... So then the redhead--his name's Reno--he called a doctor. Not Dr. Drake, he said, but a good one..." (pg. 55)

7.) Evan (the protagonist) is trying to work out who would be the easiest Turk to try to forge an alliance with and we get a glimpse of how the Turks are perceived by outsiders (Tseng is an unknown entity to Evan at this time): The most dangerous one was probably the lady Turk who went after Fabio. A close second would be the slab of muscle out there, Rude. Maybe the redhead Reno was more on our level. I thought back to my first impression of him--the grown-up teenage delinquent. Guys like that generally looked out for their own. A sense of solidarity. There had to be an angle I could work. (pg. 57)

8.) There's a whole scene where Evan and Kyrie try to ambush Rude. They choke him, break a chair over him, kick, scratch, the whole shebang and he just brushes himself off and manhandles them to a car (which made me laugh).

9.) Reno and Rude take the protagonists towards Healen in a truck and there's a few moments I found interesting. "So anyway..." Reno was looking at me in the rearview mirror. "Sorry about the shiner, dude. We totally did think you were Fabio. But y'know, I'm impressed you stayed mum and protected your buddy," Reno went on. "Even if you were about to piss your pants." (lol) Then, "Some of us have been slower to to adapt to the new way of doing things," Reno continued. "How many Turks are left?" asked Kyrie. "Can't tell you. That's Shinra's most closely guarded secret." "It's just you three, isn't it?" "Not telling." "But I'm right." "Yeah, you keep thinking that." (pg.63) Rude sleeps through the majority of the ride despite Reno trying to keep him awake. They talk quite a bit about Aerith, because Kyrie and Reno both knew her. Reno warns them not to get mixed up with Shinra's science department.

10.) Evan gets introduced to Rufus for the first time after believing the former president has been dead for two years and Tseng finally exists in this book for two seconds. "He's alive...?" Evan was still speaking to Reno. "I am. The decoy who took my place is not," Rufus replied. "You're a candidate for the position--and from what I can see, you'll do." Evan's jaw dropped, and he stared agape at Reno, then Rufus, then Tseng. Tseng looked down at the ground, trying to hide his laughter. Evan's description of Tseng: He looked like a Turk, too. The very definition of one, in fact. Reno and Rude both showed an awkward humanity--well, sporadically in the latter's case--but this guy was pure ice.

11.) An ill-conceived escape attempt by Evan and crew sees Rufus temporarily kidnapped, as Tseng and Elena are investigating an explosion. Reno and Rude try to stop it, but are ordered back. "Reno, stay back!" Reno obediently halted. I had expected to see fury in his eyes, but all I say was sorrow. Surprisingly, I felt a pang in my chest, too. But there was no other way. I pulled Kyrie's knife from my pocket and opened it--a sad, flimsy little blade, but it could still slice open a throat. "Hey, don't be stupid." I ignored Reno and held the knife to Rufus Shinra's neck. Then, "Reno, take Rude and check on the lab." Suddenly Rufus was giving orders. "Tell Tseng not to get involved here." "Wait, what? Boss, are you sure?!" "Don't worry. I'm as interested in staying alive as you are." Reno reluctantly descended the stairs, glancing over his shoulder almost every step. (pg. 77)

12.) Reno and Rude talk about family and have a lil tiff. "If I found out about a brother I'd never seen, I'd make way more of an effort than those two," Reno insisted. "That right?" Rude said. My colleagues are all I need. "You're not much into family, eh, Rude?" "I'm a Turk," Rude said flatly. "Coolheaded and cold-blooded." He turned and headed for the truck. "Hey, Rude. You pissed at me?" Reno called, an unabashed whine. "C'mon, man. You can't cold-zone me now. Tseng and Elena aren't answering my calls, and the boss just tells me to finish the monument. I know they're starting something awesome without us. We're outcasts! Me and you, you and me. If we don't stick together, then what?" Rude looked back. "Tseng isn't answering calls?" (pg. 94) Reno goes off several times throughout this book about how he'd act if he got the chance to meet family, which makes me wonder about him. "So how'd it feel, meeting your brother?" "I don't think it's sunk in yet." "Well, it's a process, I guess," said Reno. "But you gotta visit once in a while, you know? Then you'll get to figure each other out. Break the ice." (pg. 97)

13.) Reno and Rude are actually partially responsible for the monument in the city. This lil bit kinda gives weight to how long they've been in Shinra. Evan was one of those types who wasn't quite grounded in reality but was full of bravado. A show-off. A scared kid determined to buck people's expectations by pretending he had no fear. And if he kept it up, he was gonna do something stupid enough to get himself killed. Both Reno and Rude had known too many kids like that, from rookie Turks to infantrymen to SOLDIER operatives wet behind the ears from mako infusion tanks.

14.) Reno & Rude get amused by Kyrie treating them like they're not scary. The concern over redemption makes an appearance. "Now what?" Rude stepped closer from his vantage point. Apparently, he'd been watching the whole time. He was pretending he didn't care, but inwardly, Reno was convinced, Rude was intrigued by every act of the farce. Which only made the whole thing funnier. "She said she's hungry," said Reno. "So she's gonna grab something to eat." "It's like she's never heard of the Turks. It's almost refreshing," Rude remarked. So this is what happens when Shinra wins hearts and minds. Reno chuckled again but then remembered that the girl was still afraid of them. He'd seen the goosebumps on her arms. Her toothless threats were her way of gauging the danger he and Rude presented. Evan might trust them, but not Kyrie. Despite what Rude said, she knew what they were and what they were capable of. "You know," said Rude. "She reminds me of Aerith." "Yeah, I was thinkin' that too." Maybe helping them out will redeem us, at least a little bit, he thought. A guy can hope. (pg. 106)

15.) Shinra's resources are thin...and that chopper that ate it in AC was one of the last ones left (cue gross sobbing because in the words of a certain Puppy, Shinra makes good stuff). No one knew exactly how many helicopters the Shinra Company used to have. Within a half a year of Meteorfall, many of them had been looted. Accidents, mechanicals, and other circumstances had taken out others, and now Rufus Shinra and the Turks were left with only three. But even with so few, it was a constant battle to keep them in working order. Also, Rude has mechanical experience and is the one on repairs.

16.) A civilian points out the flaws in Reno's hopes for the future of the Turks. "Well, to be honest, maybe my opinion of you guys is changin'." Doyle looked at Reno again with a level stare. "You're up to better things." Reno couldn't help averting his eyes. Unless it came from a fellow Turk, approval tended to make him uncomfortable. "The monument and the medicine are only one step, you know. Just wait. It might take a while, but Shinra's gonna get off the ground again. Rise again, you hear?" That general idea had been floating around in his head for some time. This was the first time he'd said it aloud. "How?" Doyle scowled, his thick eyebrows lowering. Reno cursed himself for the thoughtless comment. "Can't tell you." "Yeah, I figured. But no one is going to let a violent regime lord it over them again. Not anymore. You tell your president that."

17.) Tseng and Elena bring up the notion of inviting old Turks back into the fold. "For any one person, finding it (Jenova's head) may well seem like a futile task. But there is still a nonzero chance. Either way, staying in contact with our agents and meeting regularly are essential to maintaining organizational cohesion." " But how many...?" Elena glanced around and spoke in a stage whisper. "How many former Turks can we expect to help us?" In his mind, Tseng saw the faces of the old Turks, his former subordinates. Of those, he had made contact with-- They get interrupted and Elena rushes off to investigate something. Tseng watched his operative go with a wry smile. Below the hem of her sundress, old scars marked her legs. Once you joined the Turks, you were in for life. Even those who tried to get out and build new lives could be summoned back with a single phone call. Maybe it was a cruel call to make, Tseng thought. and he sighed.

18.) Reno & Rude defy a direct order from Tseng. "Dumbass," Reno muttered. "What are you waiting for? Engage!" Tseng's command rang from the speakers. "Evan's down there," Rude answered in Reno's stead. "He's already done for," said Tseng. "Fire." "No can do," said Reno. "Reno." Tseng made his name a sharp rebuke. "He's our friend." "Fine. Let me briefly explain--" Tseng's voice abruptly cut out. "Radio trouble," Rude mumbled, his hand drifting away from the radio's master switch.

There are a lot of quirky, funny, violent, or neato moments I didn't list, so check out the book if you want more insight. Hope this gave you some headcanon fodder.

[intuitive-revelations]

Retrospective notes and what to keep an eye on after The Legend of Ruby Sunday

I started writing this while watching through a second time. While my thoughts were still a bit random and out of order, I've edited them into something that makes a bit more sense to read through.

Susan:

A little bit weird at first that Ruby asks why the Doctor doesn't recognise his own granddaughter, given that she doesn't know about regeneration yet and Susan Twist is clearly not mixed race. After thinking for a second, I realised she probably just immediately reconciled this as an adoption scenario, especially with her own family and history.

I've posted seperately about my feelings on the retcon of Susan's origins, but I am still surprised we're going this direction. I also find the wording a little bit questionable, as the Doctor makes it sound like he hasn't had children before, when he 100% did.

A Susan misdirect being linked to the word TARDIS is excellent though, given that she claimed to have come up with the word. (People freak out about what this means for her origins, but I don't see why it can't just be that she's responsible for the English acronym translation convention, which then passed on to all of human history thanks to the Doctor's travels.)

We didn't get Susan this time round, but such a massive red herring implies that RTD is planning to build up to such a thing for real, right? I assume we'll also be talking more about her next episode / in Tales of the TARDIS.

I also mentioned this in my live notes, but I quite like the Doctor's justification for not going back to Susan. It makes sense on its own, but takes on a whole new meaning in light of what happens in Big Finish (even if you do need to slightly nudge the meaning to make sense, and admittedly it still clashes with her participation in the Time War).

The Time Window and Misdirections:

Slightly put off at 'time window' being used as terminology for UNIT's tech when that's been used for actual time portals in-universe before.

Liked all the mentions of chronons though. Need to combine that and "N-dimensional time" into an actual pseudoscientific theory of time physics in Doctor Who with artron energy etc.

The Time Window is also totally how we get the Memory TARDIS, right? I'm guessing that's why the Doctor sent Ruby there, so she can escape into it (though I don't know what that will look like given Tales of the TARDIS surely won't be essential viewing). I wonder if that means the Doctor we'll see in that won't be the real one?

Super sneaky making the time window the 'secret from the Third Doctor era' that is revealed that was teased. Not a lie, but really teases something different to what we got.

Actually, in general kinda mixed feelings about the sheer level of misdirection is this story. You've got the above, all the focus on Susan, maybe the 'Beast', literally playing the Saxon theme (The Master Vainglorious). Seemingly also the thing about where people were stood on Christmas Eve… though I am going to check to see if there's something about the TARDIS / Sutekh. That being said, I'm guessing we're coming back to this, as the pointing isn't really explained yet.

RTD also said the script opened "INT. COFFEE BAR, USA - DAY, 1947" but we clearly never got such a scene. :/

On the other hand, all the playing around and subversion with anagrams was a lot of fun. Very much riffing off of DW tropes. Very funny also that UNIT would immediately pick up on the S Triad thing, given their and the Doctor's history with the Master's own aliases.

Sutekh and the Pantheon

Super intrigued by everything regarding the Pantheon in this episode. So we've got members:

Sutekh: God of Death. The Oldest One / The One Who Waits, the Mother and Father and Other of them all. The Toymaker: God of Games. The Trickster: God of Traps. Maestro: God of Music Reprobate: God of Spite. The Mara: God of Beasts. The Three-Fold Deity of Malice, Mischief, and Misery. Gods of Skin, Shame, Secrets Incensor: Gold of Disaster Incensor's Children - Doubt and Dread. Harbinger(s)

I'm probably too EU-brained, but it feels crazy putting entities like the Toymaker and the Trickster below Sutekh? They're both Eternal/Guardian level, while Sutekh is just an Osiran, powerful but ultimately ephermal. How is he 'the oldest' and the 'mother/father/other' of them all? I guess age could be partially put down to Sutekh's fate in Pyramids of Mars, but actually originating before them doesn't really make sense. I guess he could be an incarnation of a much older being, a bit like the Doctor could be?

However, I also doubt Harbinger is entirely reliable. She's clearly hyping up Sutekh's dominion, so him being the 'god of gods' may not mean much in terms of their origin.

Speaking of which... a lot of allusions to the Devil here, as I mentioned above. Chidozie finds himself in 'hell' and Carla literally calls the shape in the Time Window "the Beast". The security camera is also 66m away (funnily enough, around 73 yards). Add in Gabriel Woolf also playing the Beast in series 2, and you really do have to wonder if there's a connection. If Sutekh and the other Gods really do see him as the same entity as the Beast, then maybe he really could be the oldest of them all.

Side note: "Mother, Father and Other of them all" is great. Connecting the word 'Other' to parentage is also interesting, given we've been talking about Susan...

Going back to the Pantheon - I am now 100% convinced, after theorising before, that we've been meeting members of the Pantheon of Discord.

While there are family connections between some of them, I doubt they really are all related. They're way too distinct for that. But as a loose coalition of malicious god-like beings across the multiverse, it works. Weirdly, it is also reminiscent of some plotlines from the Tenth Doctor Titan Comics. It also feels like the direct opposite of the 'Accord' from the Leftbridge-Stewart series, which was seemingly another coalition of more benevolent deities, including the Azure Guardian. I wonder if they oppose each other?

Some of the namedrops are super interesting too. As I mentioned in my live blog, the Three-Fold deity must be connected to the Six-Fold God, even if just an imitation. Some of the names (eg. Doubt and Dread), being directly named for concepts and emotions, also brings to mind the Menti Celesti.

I also strongly suspect we're going to meet the Trickster again. RTD even foreshadowed as much when he illustrated Now We Are Six Hundred.

Big question is... when did Sutekh become connected to the TARDIS? The latest it could have happened is Wild Blue Yonder, and that would be the simplest explanation... but dialogue implies he's been attached and waiting for longer.

Again, mentioned this in my live notes, but the connection of Sutekh hiding in the "Howling Void" and appearing on UNIT scanners with contradictory information like the Dalek Void ship is an excellent connection. Especially, again, with the possible Hell connection:

RAJESH: And what's the Void? DOCTOR: The space between dimensions. There's all sorts of realities around us, different dimensions, billions of parallel universes all stacked up against each other. The Void is the space in between, containing absolutely nothing. Imagine that. Nothing. No light, no dark, no up, no down, no life, no time. Without end. My people called it the Void. The Eternals call it the Howling. But some people call it Hell.

Does this imply he attached himself to the TARDIS while it traveled through the Void? If so... when was that? Again Wild Blue Yonder is a good candidate, as the TARDIS literally reaches the edge of the universe (at least in some sort of spacetime geometry), but this could technically harken back as far as Journey's End, when the TARDIS last visited Pete's World.

A bit of me is intrigued by the description of Sutekh "whispering, delighting and seducing" the TARDIS, but nothing else indicates the TARDIS was willingly carrying him. Again another sign that Harbinger's speech may not reliable.

Remaining Mysteries

No offence to the people who were all in on the theory, of course, but I'm pretty sure the 'TV' theory is nothing. Especially after this episode. I feel like people latched onto the promo shot for this episode which looked like a TV set and confirmation bias took on from there. That being said, I am ready to eat my words if it somehow comes back to that next week!

(TBF, the TV theory obviously does have some relevance to DW in general, what with the Weeping Angels, Doctor Who exisiting in-universe, fourth wall breaks etc. I just don't think it ever had anything to do with this story.)

So Mrs Flood is confirmed to be something alien or supernatural, after the ambiguity with the Christmas 4th wall break. Simplest answer is that she's also serving Sutekh / the Pantheon, but IDK... she seems different.

Still need to know what's up with Ruby's mum too. Annoyingly, the episode makes it kinda ambiguous if she was pointing at the past Doctor (as per the flashback earlier this series) or at the present one. If the prior, I assume she was actually pointing at the TARDIS / Sutekh?

That damn "worlds with orange skies" line. It's probably nothing, right? But why did we focus on it, complete with musical sting. RTD knows that's significant. Hell, it's specifically significant to Susan, with her talking about Gallifrey in The Sensorites, and Ten recalling it in Gridlock.

Also, unless the soundtrack was lying to us, which it doesn't usually (though I guess isn't unprecendented, with the Weeping Angel theme being used in Day of the Doctor when Osgood realises the statues are disguised Zygons), maybe a Master reveal coming up some point in the future? How though, I have no idea.

[arainywriter]

this is going to probably be the longest post of my life, and i HATE getting into fandom discourse which is why i don't usually write anything about fandom discourse, but i just want to address some things about our favorite rat grinders so if you want to read, click below

as someone who loves the rat grinders as nuanced antagonists who are also teenagers, i think the rat grinders before they ever joined in on porter and jace's plan were assholes.

i think they were the quiet bullies, the mean people who you never notice until they are mean to you, the ones who seem nice and respectable up close, but talk shit about you the minute you're gone.

i think most of them (kipperlilly in particular) were looking for a reason to be bad. and i know we might not ever get this confirmation, but based off kipperlilly's file and other moments with the trg, i think it's possible this is correct.

they were assholes who needed a reason to be even bigger, more dangerous assholes and most of them took it. and yes, it was either that or be dead, but i want you to know that sometimes that's not even a question. sometimes you don't even care about the other option, you just want to rage.

i think the one time all of them or maybe some of them even thought that what they were doing could be was when lucy died. and that's when i feel bad for them. they had to lock in right there because they all had made a decision, and they all needed to continue it. that's the manipulation.

i know they are kids. they are just teenagers. i work with teens, and guys, let me tell you, some teenagers are assholes. and i don't mean say a funny mean joke asshole, i mean literally going to grow up and be a shitty person asshole. i think some of the rat grinders were those kind of teens.

did they deserve to be redeemed? i think some of them do. i think buddy has a big shot at being redeemed, and i genuinely hated that he died in the last stand and had to make that decision. i think ally is going to try if they can. i think mary ann might be redeemed.

but also, you guys have to remember that this is dnd. i don't think many of you have played dnd before, or if you have you're just really conscientious about everything you do. because as a dm who has played dnd and has made nuanced antagonists, your players are gonna straight up kill them.

brennan knows that. i'm 100% sure he knows that. this isn't scripted. the intrepid heroes aren't thinking about what the fans want every time they play. in dnd, ESPECIALLY in brennan's dnd, it's kill or be killed.

the rat grinder's weren't going to use non-lethal attacks. they were going to kill the bad kids, and they were going to be UNNATURALLY happy throughout it all. they were going to spit in their faces and roast marshmallows on their bodies. they were going to not feel guilty.

sound familiar?

i think the bad kids have been nice to the rat grinders since day one. not kind, nice. they've been polite and nice to them, not going all in until this fight. if this fight happened before the finale, i think the rat grinders would have had more time to be redeemed (ex. see Ragh in season 1 who def would have died in the finale battle if the bad kids hadn't fought him earlier). but the bad kids are stressed and done.

there is no time to be polite and nice when the world is going to end.

i know you liked these characters. i did too. i'm sad to see them go, but even when someone is nuanced and could be redeemed, the person they were a piece of shit to doesn't have to be the one to redeem them. they don't have to be the one to keep them alive and make sure they only get taken the police instead of dead. cause trg would have gone to jail.

aelwyn did. so would they.

people you've wronged don't owe you forgiveness or redemption. trg didn't wrong tbk that bad, but they made them angry, they tried to kill them, and they're probably almost close to ending the world.

i'll miss you rat grinders. you guys were perfect narrative foils, but it was always going to end like this.

now stop being absolute assholes to the intrepid heroes just cause they didn't play how you wanted.

love this fandom, and yeah, d20 get shit wrong sometimes. always make sure to critique your favorite piece of media.

but at the end of the day, this isn't your table to play dnd at. this is theirs and they are having fun. why don't you go and play as the rat grinders in your home game and give them the ending they deserve, or make fanfiction about it?

put your anger into that.

[merrinla]

Halsin and Minthara weren't always mutually exclusive

Even though you can recruit both of them, in the game it looks like a funny bug. I guess this is what's left of the original idea. It was previously planned not only letting you have them at the same time, but also that they would interact in the party like other companions.

In the audio files, you can find lines of their reactions to each other's deaths. I don't know if these are triggered or not. They are both so bugged that sometimes I can hardly tell which is the cut content and which is the bug.

It's kind of funny that Halsin would be so sad.

I recently completed Halsin's quest with Mintara in my party. In the scene by the lake, when Halsin entered the portal, Minthara said "He made it. Now let's just hope he survives what's on the other side"

Actually this is exactly the same line as Tav's.

Halsin also share many lines with Tav and other origins. Most of them are unused. But in this case the line is not only voiced by Emma Gregory (Minthara's VA), it's triggered.

There is another interesting line. In Moonrise Towers, when Ketheric punishes Mintara for a failure in the grove and sends her to the dungeon, the player can choose not to interfere and leave the location without helping her. In this case one of the characters in your party will remind you that she can be saved as a potential companion. I was wondering if Halsin would say anything. And he did. "Minthara may prove useful to us, should we wish to save her…"

This isn't cut content. This isn't new content added with patches. It's in the game since the release. And this line works. Moreover, this is his personal line.

If they implement the dialogue with an ultimatum it will be nonsense. I mean, first he suggests to save her from the Absolute as a useful ally, and then in the camp he will say that it's the right choice to kick her back under the Absolute control. It's even hard to blame the character for such contradiction. Rather, it's just a stupid limit set by the script.

Next. In Act 3 if you make one of them to go up on the clown stage, the other one will approve.

There is also an unused flag for Act 3 in the game files with the description "Orin pretended to kill Halsin during the Minthara abduction campnight." Which means in Act 3 they were both in the party.

You can see what the abduction of Mintara looks like in this video. Only instead of Halsin, Jaheira is mentioned here.

Maybe there are other confirmations that I do not know about, that they were not mutually exclusive before. But that's enough for me.

They were both not originally planned as companions. Their roles were expanded much later. Most likely, Larian didn't have time to polish their content, so scissors were used. This is why their content seems so unfinished compared to others. Except for Wyll, probably. That's why they are so buggy.

I suppose the reason they are both mutually exclusive is because it is the easiest solution when you have a deadline on the horizon. Just easiest as "it's fine for a companion to just hang out at the camp". Otherwise, you need dialogs, animations, scripts, etc. And you also need to make sure that it will work with everything else. This is time and resources. But this doesn't mean that it's impossible to fix anything later.

I faintly hope that the defenetive edition will have the option to recruit them both.

And I really hope that in the future Larian will look at the games of their colleagues from BioWare (who made the original BG). I mean games from better times than now. The companions below will show you how much they "loved" each other. Not all of them became friends in the end. But nevertheless, we saved the world. Together.

[mochiwrites]

holding an isat au in my hand because Siffrin and Grian are SO similar but Grian is so much more, impulsive, violent even. He would be so much more willing to break the script y'know? What's stopping him from killing his allies to see what happens? There's no consequences anyway right? Scar (if he's Isa in this context) will never confess, but will he if he's about to die?

Idk I've been idly thinking about this since I finished the game, fun thinking about how the dynamics would change

GOD......

it's so interesting to think about how the dynamics would change around... he'd accidentally kill one of his allies (it'd be funny if it was scar. for no reason at all) and the guilt would eat him alive. it doesn't matter, he looped back, it doesn't matter -- he tells himself over and over

I think he'd 100% be more willing to break the script. it might be one of the first things he tries to do, just to see the limit of the time loops. he'd get... so desperate to break the loops, probably a lot quicker than sif did

and scar, SOBS. he'd def confess if he's about to die for sure. it'd be. really mean if he confessed in the loop grian accidentally killed him in...

I am on a very slippery slope with this /silly

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Discussing Hide and Seek Pilot Tapes

So the Hide and Seek Pilot tapes are apparently canon too. So let's discuss. Note: I know I probably already mentioned some of these points in a previous post but I'm bringing it all up again.

First off I think "pilot" implies that these came first, before anything else. So that's where I'm gonna assume they take place in the timeline.

So here's what I notice in the first tape:

First off, Amanda and Wooly are still clearly friends at this point. Amanda and Wooly were still best friends at this point. "Right now I'm playing with my best friend Wooly." She says in a way that does not feel forced at all, like she means it.

When looking for Wooly, she says the box is a "good hiding spot" which is foreshadowing that it was supposed to be her hiding spot. More on that later.

I gotta say the art style of the storyboards after Wooly is found is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE AND MY FAV BY FAR. It's so cute!

Just look at them! Look at their little faces! I just wanna hug them!

When Wooly starts talking the song "I'm An Animal, and I Ta-" from the game's original soundtrack starts playing. It kind of feels like it was meant to be a leitmotif for Wooly. I noticed it mainly because it's one of my favorite compositions on the soundtrack heh heh... is it just me or is it a little messed up that they chose the song from when Wooly turns into a literal sheep to be his leitmotif? Is that symbolic in any way or am I just reaching? Either way I think it's pretty funny!

I didn't really understand in the music video why Wooly kept asking for it to be his turn only to get really scared when he actually got it. Now that I've rewatched the pilot tapes... I think I have a better idea about it. It's because that's the script and Wooly likes to stay on script. But that clearly doesn't mean he LIKES the script.

Also, while the scene where Wooly asks "what comes after one?" is pretty funny I also find it a bit weird. Like, does Wooly actually not know how to count? Like he could just be sticking to the script but far as I recall from being a little kid myself once (I know, shocking). Usually they'd simply ask the viewer to count with them, I don't recall any characters legitimately NOT knowing what comes after one. Like sometimes they'd say something like: "Can you help me count all these rubber duckies?" or something but I don't think I'd ever seen a show where the character simply doesn't know how to count. And I also had to watch a LOT of these type of shows with my younger siblings and cousins growing up (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is permanently SEARED into my brain thank the universe for Bluey).

So like genuine question... does Wooly actually straight up not know how to count? He even sounds really unsure the entire time he's counting like... it's just a possibility but like does he really not know? Because that would genuinely be really interesting.

Wooly calls the tree a really good hiding spot, you know cuz it's HIS hiding spot. Side note: It's really neat to see them having so much fun with this in the first tape. Like they are genuinely having a blast.

Moving on, Wooly got REALLY startled when Amanda jumped out at him. Can I make it a new headcanon that he startles easily? (TBF that's the same reaction I have whenever people try to startle me. I'm not scared, just really caught off-guard).

But what happens next is really interesting because Wooly points out that Amanda went off script and he's unsure how to feel about that. He seems really confused. It made me wonder if Wooly likes staying on script because that way you always know what's going to happen and how to react to it. Amanda was out here going off script and changing the episodes for her own amusement from the very start. Wooly also seems a lot more okay with going off script a little "as long as your having fun." but he doesn't seem to like it still.

Amanda and Wooly playing and messing around with each other as they run off screen is just so sweet! I wonder what happened to Grandma?? One of the biggest things I wonder is if this particular pilot happens before or after they get trapped. Like are they recording these lines in a recording booth? Or are they already trapped and haven't gotten their memories/awareness back yet? I think it might be option 2 just because Amanda was able to go off-script and Wooly seemed genuinely confused about it.

Anyway onto part 2!

Right off the bat Amanda seems confused and unsure about this episode.

Also I find it interesting how she hears out name and says: "Oh really I think we've met before" before getting cut off. This is yet another example of what seems to be the shows built-in censor system for when Amanda goes off-script. When she says "box" the tape glitches and says something else. It sounds like she says "tree" again. I wonder why? When the mouse clicks on the box Amanda seems uneasy. Could this be foreshadowing for Mr. Fox's death? Or does she already know he's not going to be there. Now whenever she says: "This is a good hiding spot" I think of the music video and I think Yeah, to hide a body Amanda?

Wooly still doesn't know how to count... Wooly's part isn't really different but when he says that she's not behind the tree there's this weird intense glowing from the left side of the screen. Wonder if that means something?

The only difference is now when he lifts the box he says: "You're not Amanda." Like... really Wooly I didn't notice a difference? <- sarcasm/joking.

Amanda's eye twitches when Wooly says he hopes he'll see us again soon. Then she says: "Let's play tag next time." which is obvious foreshadowing for her both not wanting to play any more hide and seek and wanting to play tag so badly. They also don't run off playing together in this ending... odd.

Anyway that's all the stuff I noticed! Hope you enjoy the post!

[munsonbrackets]

Tutor Astarion

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lHIfng6qd90 IDK why this makes me feel something, but I’m not mad about it.

Like imagine being some shitstain of a student (on purpose lowkey) and Astarion having to tutor you because he’s the best in the class, which of course he is considering he is a fucking elf. Like why wouldn’t he understand Elvish and Espruar?

And at first, you were genuinely trying to appease him. Every teacher you have ever had has told you that your pronunciation is remarkable, no matter what script you spoke. Really, your accent might actually just be the only thing preventing you from failing this class. And you might also not be failing because Astarion, top of the class (fucking showoff), is tutoring you.

Truly, they could have given you anyone else, even Halsin tried to volunteer (but he was quickly shut down by the teacher). No. Your dear teacher decided to kill two birds with one stone in a very simple manner. By teaching them how to throw. Astarion seemed to severely dislike teaching others what he had so simply been raised with and you were going to probably fail this class.

And at first, you hated it as much as he did. The sneery remarks that he made, as though he was mad at your parents for not teaching you something as simple as Espruar, you would be quick to respond in an indifferent snide comment in infernal. A language that he was, funny enough, not familiar with. Which just seemed to frustrate him even further. 

But then he corrected you, he was right with his correction, but there was still something in that snappy tone and sneering face that made your heart skip a beat.

The assignment was simple, you thought. Send a letter designated to your teacher. The letters' contents could be a memory, a short trip or a fun story you had come up with. And while you were supposed to have said ‘aerister’, a teacher, instead you accidentally said ‘ageas’, a guard.

- - -

Astarion looked at you from underneath a quirked brow and a slightly open mouth as if to ponder if you had finally gone mad or maybe to silently say ‘are you stupid?’, which obviously weren’t the words that came out of his mouth. “You wish to send this letter to your guard?”

You looked back at him with the same sneer, but also intense confusion. Did ageas mean guard? You swore you remembered it meant teacher… Astarion made no effort to tell you what ‘teacher’ was, so you spoke up instead “Obviously not! I know that ageas means guard! What I meant to say was-” You furiously scrolled a couple pages in your dictionary, trying to remember what ‘teacher’ was in Elduran, “‘aethus’.”

Astarion’s face dropped into a plain old sneer, without the look of your stupidity in his mind, and you felt a shit eating grin spread across your face. You were right, you had definitely been right-

“The word you’re looking for is ‘aerister’.” He sneers out, obvious pronunciation when he says it, so that you might repeat it. But there isn’t a moment for you to speak before Astarion snickers and speaks in a playfully condescending tone- 

“Unless you wish to send this letter to a male harper, which I won’t shame you for, it just simply isn’t the assignment.”

And you feel your heart thump. One hard heartbeat that makes all of the air in your lungs metaphorically rip out of your body, makes a tingle shimmy itself up your spine to make all of your hairs stand on edge, makes your heart feel like it has beat its last.

You could feel the muscles around your eyes spasm in small, practically unnoticeable, twitches as you quickly blurt out- 

“Aerister! Anyways, are we done now?”

Before you allow Astarion to sneer something back, you start throwing your pens into their respective places and leave quicker than you ever have. You only feel the heat of embarrassment creep up your neck after you are fully out of view of his gaze. With an exit like that, he must be just feeling…something? You didn’t feel like worrying about it and you head down the hall, heading home to figure out your own thoughts before you worry about his.

[olivia091108]

For the film

Summary:y/n and Johnny are doing a film together and are fake dating to promote the film

Word count:1.6k

Pairing:Johnny Knoxville x reader

Getting a call from the director is never good so I walk into his office to see what’s wrong. When I see that Johnny is there I’m not as worried it’s probably something about a script change. I take a seat next to Johnny and ask what’s going on

The movies coming out in 4 months and we’re trying to find a way to promote it.

“Cant you just put out billboards like everyone else?” Johnny asks

“That’s what everyone does I want to do something exciting so me and the team came up with you two pretend to date”

“What?! What do you mean”

“Just going out on dates and being seen together then the paparazzi will put out the pictures and in interviews you can say how you fell in love and once the films out your done easy”

“No one’s gonna believe that”

“Your actors just act. Speaking of we’ve wrapped for the day since we’re trying to find locations”

Me and Johnny leave his office and it’s a bit awkward to be honest because I know that we kiss for the movie but this is different it’s actually real

“Wanna come round mine and we can figure this out” Johnny’s voice snaps me out my thoughts and I nod

“I’ll be round in an hour”

“Alright see you then”

Johnny’s house was really nice it was the right size for him and inside is decorated and it’s quite clean for Johnny. He just finished getting us a takeaway from burger king and he comes back in holding two beers and hands one to me.

“Ok so i was thinking if were going to be doing interviews they will obviously ask how it happened so we should figure that out any ideas.”

“We has mind blowing sec and you couldn’t get enough of me” he says it so seriously i could barley tell if he was joking.

“No how about we were flirting on set a lot i like you you like me and we kiss and then go out on a date.”

“Boring we should go out to a club or bar and then we come outside kiss make sure paparazzi get the shot then you come back to mine.”

“What so its like a one night stand then we fall in love. I don’t think so that would only be talked about for 3 weeks tops.”

After 10 minutes the food got here and we still hadn’t decided on anything and with a couple of empty beers next to me i was getting a but tipsy

“Ok ok ok how about we get seen together doing normal co star things but it gets more girlfriend boyfriendy until like a month and a half before the films released where we confess to dating”

“Thats actually a pretty good idea fir someone whos drunk” taking extreme offence to that i start denying profusely.

“Your too drunk to drive stay here tonight”

“Thanks johnny”

“its fine doll”and he shows me to the guest bedroom and i get straight into bed with my clothes on and fall asleep straight away.

When we get to set i have a hangover its not too bad but it will be a long day. I go to the makeup department and then go to wardrobe and get into costume.

After filming a few scenes me and johnny are just hanging out by my trailer sitting on the steps to it when i see Claire trying to hide behind one of the other trailers

“You ok claire?”

“Oh yeah im great you too just keep doing that ill just be back here”shes obviously hiding something

“Claire what are you doing?”

“I got sent here to take photos of you two”

“You could have just said” i chuckle at her and turn to johnny and put hi hand on my thigh and just tell him to keel talking while i smile.we hear a few clicks of claires camrea

“You got it?”johnny asks. “Yeah thanks guys”

It was like that the rest of the week and by Friday we were front page

Johnny Knoxville and co-star y/n y/l/n are seen canoodling on set of new movie

The following week me and Johnny are seen going to eatchothers apartments and seen with eatchothers friends. It’s honestly quite funny because me and and Johnny already do this stuff.

After a month of that sort of things happening we are actually going to Hawaii to film the rest of the movie. It was about 5:45 am when i got to the airport and i was dressed in practically pjs but as soon as i got there my eyes got blinded by paparazzi and Johnny came over to me and held my hand to get me inside.

It didn’t stop there though on the plane even our director was taking photos and telling us how to pose saying things like “put your arm round her johnny” “y/n lean on him” “now pretend to fall asleep on eatchother”

Once we got to Hawaii I immediately wanted to look around ad spend time in the beach but first I had to work. We were shooting a. Scene where the whole cast was going on a tour in the rainforest but Johnnys character gets us lost from the group

It was great there were so many animals and this one monkey kept clinging onto me and during on of the takes he jumps down onto me and starts wrapping itself round me and I wanted to keep it ad once we had finished filming i didnt want to say goodbye

By the time we got back to the hotel the sun was about to set so I wanted to head to the beach and watch the sunset and go for a swim.

The sunset was beautiful and the water wasn’t too cold and I began to float on my back and swim to the bottom picking up one of those shells that you can hear the beach in

Once i resurface I see Johnny watching me and I swim over and get out the water heading over to him.

“Look what I found isnt it gorgeous”i proudly show off the shell but as the wind picks up I shiver and Johnny pulls me into his chest not even caring that I’m drenched. I look up at him and he smiles before looking back at the sunset and I wrap mr arms round his waist and lean in even more to try and warm myself up and we watch the sunset.

“I was thinking we’ve finished the film and soon we will have to show everyone that we’re dating so we should kiss” I tell him

“Now?”

“Why not it’s not like we haven’t before and anyway I see Claire hiding over there.”

I wrap my arms round his neck and lean up to kiss him slow at first and I feel his hands glide down my back to grab at my ass wich makes me smile against the kiss.

My feelings for Johnny changed after that its like every time I saw him i didn’t want to pretend ro date him I wanted to actually date him so now in every situation I foul I would convince him that we need to kiss or ho on a fare fir the paparazzi.

Me and Johnny have a collection of magazines. Every time we were published we would buy the magazine and go round one of our houses and laugh about the things they would say.

“Omg that photo is awful why would they choose that” I would complain

“You look gorgeous doll”I immediately felt butterfly’s swarm my stomach

“Your ass looks better than mine in those jeans” i point at him on the front cover

“Your tits look great” I grab the magazine and stare at the photo of us on the beach. “Omg they look huge”

But now every tine a magazine would say stuff about the two of us I wanted it to be real like him for real taking me to dinner and fur real spending the night at eatchothers houses not just as friends and fir real him kissing me.

Tonight is the premier of our movie and by next week we will break up but im just going to enjoy it while it lasts. Im wearing a black dress with a snake going down my spine and deep cut to show off my cleavage.

While in the taxi I want to confess my feelings to him before we break up so now’s the time

“Johnny I have something I have to say. I like you like more than s friend I have for a while now and I know that we were only pretending to promote the movie but the pat 4 months have been the best of my life snd I know that you probably dont care bu-

He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss and it gets cut off as the driver announces that we are here.

I walk onto the red carpet Johnny with his arm round my waist and we pose together and do some interviews before he kisses me and ive never seen more flashes in my life and I know this will make front page.

I feel like its rushed but it literally took me 4 hours so I hope you like it

-liv