#I mean good thing too I don't think the world can handle a lot of agent zeros. but it's very comforting to be in that headspace with him
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pa-pa-plasma · 2 months ago
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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vaguely-concerned · 16 hours ago
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I am for sure inextricably mariana trench deep in dragon age brain right now and not coming out any time soon, but some part of my mind and my heart is also always thinking about agent 'where's blue? is blue okay? *passes the fuck out gently smoking from all his circuits post-force lightning*' zero
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kaijutegu · 11 months ago
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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views
Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:
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That is not what a happy gator looks like.
That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.
Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.
Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)
So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!
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Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.
How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!
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Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.
For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?
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Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.
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By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.
Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:
It is doing a threat display.
It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.
It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)
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It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.
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There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.
In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.
It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)
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Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator
So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.
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Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)
Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.
As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.
Why Should I Listen To You?
Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?
Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!
But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.
Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:
Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets
The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt
Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk
Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet
Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang
Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)
Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson
Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul
Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.
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hwnglx · 21 days ago
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pick a pile - what makes you beautiful? (detailed)
hello dear reader! let's take a look into what makes you so uniquely beautiful. breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. this is a very specific reading, so it's likely that not every message will speak to everyone. remember to take what resonates, and leave what doesn't. 𓆩♡𓆪
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✰ pile 1 ✰
so, this pile definitely gave me the biggest boss vibes. you have very strong energy, with so much major arcana in my spread. i can tell you are not someone to be messed with. (also kinda feel like you might parent or coddle the other piles lmao)
your beauty lies not only within your immense strength, but also in your ability to stand over situations which can appear very dark and difficult on the outside. i do believe you come with your own struggles, insecurities, doubts and fears which don't seem to always find their way to the surface; but you deal with them in such a graceful and impressive way. i can feel some people being in genuine awe of how you handle trials and tribulations. i do think you've been through certain things which have given you thicker skin. now, you know what you want and need in life, you're aware of your potential and what you can do, so even if a situation presents itself in which you find yourself in self-doubt, you believe in the power of hard work and consistency.
you don't seem like the type to dwell on your problems for too long or allow yourself to drown in self-pity, but moreso like a person who feels this desire to work on whatever troubles you. let's say if a situation presents itself to you, in which circumstances seem unfavourable; rather than complaining or remaining stuck in this hopeless place, you'll likely be the type to think about how you can change and work on your own attitude and mindset instead, in order to come out the other side in a stronger manner. you put a lot of importance into remaining confident and keeping a grip on your self-belief. since you see that as the best version of yourself. you appear to be very mature; even if your age is still young, you seem to have a wise soul and an impressingly reliable, as well as responsible nature. maybe you had to grow up quickly, you just give off this energy of someone who had to learn how to be responsible in life very early on.
considering i got both, the emperor and the empress for you, i think a lot of your beauty also lies in your duality. you're likely to have this balance of both feminine and masculine qualities inside of you. you seem to be the type of person who can be assertive, more self-centered and individualistic in some ways, like you do think it's important to focus on yourself in order to find fulfilment in this world. however this doesn't distinguish the compassionate heart you carry for other people. you're someone with an empathetic and kind nature, someone who wants to take care of the people you love.
you could make a very good parent, actually. i think you balance this sense of responsibility, dependability and solidity, with a nurturing heart, a soft and gentle core. you might be the case of someone with a hard shell but soft interior. i feel like you're the type to root for the underdog. someone who takes people under their wing, protects them from external influences. like you'd take a bullet for the people you cherish. (i do think you might be more selective in that aspect though, like you do have your boundaries straight, and wouldn't just throw your hand in the fire for anyone)
this is a random message i got; some of you also might be on the curvier side when it comes to your bodily built, and it makes you very very beautiful. like i can tell that some of pile 1's bodies are bangin! like yes sir or ma'am, go rock that bod with confidence!
another very beautiful thing about you; you do not fear getting your hands dirty. meaning, you're willing to put in the necessary hard work in life. like “if i have to personally run up this hill for several hours straight, then so be it, as long as i finally get to the top!” you aren't someone who will shy away from bearing burdens and heavy weights on your back, you understand the need to hustle in order to succeed. you can feel this need to improve yourself, put in the required effort to keep getting better at everything you do in life. not just for yourself, but also the people around you. you want to be a comfortable and stable figure in your loved one's lives.
i keep feeling like you're just this person people can lean on with no second thought; someone who will have their back no matter what. very loyal, dedicated and passionate energy within you. i'd personally love to be your friend, like i'd feel pretty lucky! i feel like you're the friend who keeps their promises, who's okay with running errands for others. you'd get things done for someone if they're unable to do so; like e.g. picking your friends up and driving them random places. maybe you're the friend at the party who holds themselves back from drinking in order to be the responsible one making sure everyone gets back home safely. you just seem to have this devotion to the ones you love, and wanting to make them feel safe, as well as cared for. you might also be a huge hype man in their lives, always cheering them on and lighting up any dark place they find themselves in. you have such bright and inspirational energy!
you carry this beautiful balance of; focusing on your own interests, ambitions, desires and goals, but also remaining considerate and caring towards the special people in your life.
✰ pile 2 ✰
oh my gawd, this pile is super cute. so, you immediately strike me as someone very independent and freedom-loving. you love to have your own space, and being able to just do whatever you want, whenever you want. i feel like you just have this very contagious and bright energy, where people might trust you to make the best out of every situation you're in. you seem like a big risk-taker, someone who doesn't fear the concept of change, and isn't afraid of starting all over again if you feel like that's necessary. you're so beautiful, in the way of just being down and ready to do things others might shy away from. you might be the person who will drag your friend out the dark and quiet room and tell them to get out, enjoy the beautiful sun on your skin, connect with mother nature, appreciate the smaller things in life and find happiness in them, because that's where true fulfilment lies. there is this very philosophical and poetic side to you. i keep feeling like you might have significant neptune/jupiter/mercury aspects.. i can just see you running through the blooming fields in this almost movie-like way. (random but do you like ghibli movies? you just give me ghibli character vibes, especially kiki's delivery service 🥹 i love that movie, it's so comforting)
you're beautiful in the way where.. you easily see beauty in the world. you seem so easily excitable, and count all the blessings you have in life. i feel like you're the type to find something positive in everything and everyone. random, but you might love photography, and taking pictures of almost everything around you, just because you can see art in anything or any place. you love exploring new places, new cultures, understanding and learning about people or things completely different to what you're used to. you might like to travel, because you enjoy this thought of getting insight into entirely new lifestyles. you're very open-minded.
you aren't worried about leaving toxic people or situations behind if you feel like they just keep you in a negative place. it's kinda giving been there done that. i think you consciously reject negativity now because you're not at that same place anymore, and especially don't want to be anymore. you're so overly protective of your peace now, because you had to deal with so many tribulations, and took so much on the chin from life in order to get to this place of inner peace. you don't allow anyone to take it away from you anymore.
you also don't seem afraid to completely transform. maybe you even enjoy transforming yourself physically, like you love reinventing yourself and can find your identity in things like your fashion. you enjoy expressing your unique nature in that way. i also just feel like you're such a pleasure to be around, people likely just enjoy your presence because it makes them feel like everything will be okay. did anyone ever tell you about how your presence is therapeutic to them? if not, some people might think that without openly expressing it.
i do think you can be very emotional too, which is another beautiful trait of yours. you might be the type to tear up rather easily, i think your interior is very squishy and sweet. you wear your heart on your sleeve in this beautiful and special way. you not being afraid to express your emotions (although sometimes they can just take over you unintentionally lmao dw i relate..) makes you so extraordinary, it gives you this unique light and glow. don't ever lose grip on this wonderful side of you. don't ever feel ashamed of it, and don't allow anyone to make you think you're anything but beautiful for your passion! i feel like you genuinely care about the world, and everything that it involves. your energy is just so pure and innocent in a way, even if you yourself don't see yourself that way. your intentions and heart read as very sweet.
in addition, your beauty lies in your ability to see opportunity of growth in whatever life throws at you. like pile 1, i do believe you have had to deal with your fair share of challenges in life, but this lead to you being able to see how.. even situations that might look awful from an outsiders perspective, can serve you as a learning lesson. “what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.”
again, you're just so philosophical! i feel like we could just sit down together and discuss life for hours, in such a deep and intriguing manner. you seem to have a lot of understanding of the different complexities of life, just because you've experienced a lot of situations in which you had to adapt or adjust. so there's this natural know-how here, it's almost like you're not scared of life's upheavals anymore. you didn't let it discourage you at the time, so best believe it will not bring you down at this point in time. you're so youthful and almost childlike in spirit, but carry a deep sense of knowledge about life. like some other people might turn all bitter if they went through what you have been through, but you remained soft and sweet in this harsh world, which is such a beautiful trait to have! i sincerely applaud you, and hope you can never lose this truly wonderful spark inside of you.
✰ pile 3 ✰
oh, this pile seems so genuinely nice, but i can sense some struggle here too.. first of all, you read as a very humble and down to earth person. like i truly can't sense a single ounce of arrogance inside of you. you feel like you're an eternal student of life, continuously learning with every experience, and growing endlessly. you give off this energy of someone who's always so eager to expand your skills and knowledge on things. especially if you get hooked on something like a fun hobby, you're just so ambitious and approach the learning process with this modest, but determined attitude. you seem quite capable of dealing with constructive criticism, and take it as a way to further better yourself. like yes tell me what i did wrong, so i can improve. definitely a very hard-working and earnest energy within you.
you're so beautiful, because you live and lead with this sense of compassion and acceptance inside of you. you seem to have high emotional intelligence; as well as a lot of empathy for others. you're the type of person to.. hold this cup filled with love, in a crowd full of people fighting each other. while other people are overly competitive and at each other's throats to win over the other, you seem like the one who prefers seeing everyone as equally worthy of praise, equally lovable, equally deserving of respect. i truly don't see you enjoying to put yourself above others, simply because you don't see why you would want to. like i don't think you fully understand this need to argue and cause problems with others, it irks you.
you even might put other people's needs above yours almost naturally, it seems to come very easy to you. (did some of you grow up with a lot of siblings? i feel like there's this natural tendency to supress not only your own desires, but also your own emotions a lot.. i feel like you might've found yourself in plenty of situations where you needed to swallow your pride, bite your tongue, ignore your own emotions or grant others chances you yourself might've wanted.) you might be the type to politely hold the door open for people even though your arm hurts, offer the seat to the elderly even though you yourself are exhausted, allow your friend to grab the opportunity although you might need it just as much.
i do feel like you're quite peace-loving, and don't enjoy arguments at all. you seem excellent at approaching conflicts and problems in, not only this calm and collected manner, but also with this diplomatic and tender sense of understanding towards all parties. do you have any major libra placements? i can sense this beautifully non-judgemental energy in you, where you always seek harmony, no matter what situation you find yourself in. you also just seem balanced in general, and like not much can tick you off. some people might even ask you “how are you always so calm?” although i feel like you can experience feelings quite intensely once they take over you (i feel like you might cry a lot when you're on your own..) you just don't enjoy openly displaying your emotions, and might have problems expressing them outwardly. again, i keep feeling like this likely stems from a deeply rooted place, maybe you've just naturally aquired this mechanism within you, where you shut off your emotions and internalize them a lot.
you might put a lot of thought into how others view you, might dislike the thought of anyone looking at you as overly dramatic. you also seem pretty perfectionistic, especially in closely managing the way you're perceived by people, or the way you treat people. you might often fear doing them wrong, or overstepping any boundaries. i can sense an avoidance of expressing or asserting yourself strongly again here, because you just don't want anyone to feel like you're doing too much. (i know this is a reading that focuses more on positives, but spirit is telling me this selflessness in you makes you immensely beautiful.. maybe you even have a lot of egocentric people around you, therefore your kindness just stands out even more. don't lose that sincere heart you have for others, however; you need to listen to what you yourself want more as well <3 learn to balance these two sides in you out, because if not, others might take advantage of you)
i do think though, that a lot of this calmness might be a result of your maturity. it's interesting because on the one hand you can feel like the young student who still believes they have so much to learn from life, but at the same time, you do have a lot of valuable advice to give to people, just because you might relate to a lot of the things others go through. you seem amazing at putting yourself in someone else's shoes, i can feel people thinking you're a great listener.
i just feel like your unique beauty lies in this gentle, pleasant and mild energy you bring to the table. you'd be the type of person i could tell my deepest darkest secrets to comfortably, and i feel like you wouldn't mutter a word to anybody. like your friends probably can tell you the wildest sht they've done, without any embarrassment. or call you at any given moment, and you'd be there to listen to their angry rants or rages, and just take it all in quietly.
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lionizingheathen · 3 months ago
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umm face riding with harry?? pleaseee
Yeah, no problem
Harry Potter x fem!reader
Warnings: Smut, oral sex reader receiving, face riding
"You should ride my face." You choked on your own breath for a moment before looking over at your boyfriend, who was tossing around an old ball like he hadn't just said something so forward... He'd gotten more forward after the war, after he was done with all the uncertainty and chaos but Merlin, you'd never be used to it.
"Pardon me?" You asked, your voice breaking over the words as he grinned over at you, seeming equal parts eager and concerned, like he was worried he'd said something wrong, which was not at all the case.
"You... Sorry, is that not something you're interested in?" He asked, tossing the ball aside as he turned towards you, resting his hand on your thigh. You cleared your throat, squeezing your thighs together as you felt your cunt throb at his touch.... Of course you wanted to ride his face, who wouldn't?
"No, i mean... Of course it is I just didn't expect you to be so candid... most people don't just say 'you should ride my face', they beat around the bush a little." You said, feeling a little shaky as you looked at him. All he did was sit up and nod a little, clearing his throat as he pulled his hand away from you.
You missed his touch the second it was gone.
"Normally I would too but I... I've been thinking about it a lot." "About you a lot, and I just... Please ride my face?"
"What if I crush you?" You asked, a question that you knew was stupid the second you looked at his face and saw his confused expression - you hadn't meant to confuse him, all you were saying was what if you fucking killed him? You'd be killing the savior of the wizarding world, that sounded like a terrible thing!
"Huh?" He asked, and you sighed, throwing your hands up before you covered your face with them, embarrassed that you were even thinking about that.
You wanted to disappear.
"I don't want to smother you! That would be mortifying." You said, your tone coming out far more defensive than you had intended. Harry chuckled, shaking his head as he looked at you, clearly not even slightly worried about that.
"I'm a big boy, Y/N. I can handle myself." He laid on his back, gesturing you over with a wide smile. "Now c'mere... Ride my face." You snorted, rolling your eyes even as you sat up.
Eager boy.
"I never said yes." He paused then, looking at you expectantly.
"Well...?" He asked, trailing off as you sighed, nodding before you slipped your panties off, seeing the hungry expression on his face.
Down, boy.
"If we do this, and you can't breathe-." He cut you off, waving you off like your concerns for his health were unimportant, but in your opinion they were very important... He needed to listen.
"Obviously I will tell you, now come here, I can't wait much longer." He insisted, and you chuckled, shaking your head even as you swung your thigh over his head, positioning your cunt over his face, pausing before you settled down.
"You're so needy." You said, and he nodded, looking up without any shame... God, he wasn't paying attention to a single word out of your mouth, was he?
"Only because you're fit as hell." He mumbled, bringing his hands up so that he could use his thumbs to spread you open. God, don't stare... "That's like... Part of it." You snorted, shaking your head.
Cute.
"Part of it? Very eloquent, Potter." You said, and he rolled his eyes, finally meeting yours before he spoke.
"Shut up."
"Funny, pretty sure you'll be the one doing-." He pulled you down suddenly, making you let out a gasp as he lapped his tongue over your cunt. You gripped onto the headboard and sighed. "That... Bloody hell..." You mumbled, feeling his fingers dig into your thighs as he buried his tongue inside you, his nose bumping against your clit as you moved your cunt against him.
Oh god...
"Mmm..." Your head was already fucking spinning and he'd hardly even started.
"Oh, that feels... So good." Glasses. "Your glasses, hold on... Hold on, Harry." You breathed, and he groaned when he pulled away, looking at you like you'd committed a crime against him.
Relax, pretty boy.
"I don't care-." You cut him off and carefully removed them from his face, shaking your head. It was cute that he was so eager, but the last thing you needed was any looks from anyone if he showed up to work tomorrow with broken glasses.
"I do. I don't want to explain why there's tape on them tomorrow." You said, and he snorted, shaking his head like it was a non-issue was he wrapped his arms around your thighs.
"I know how to fix my glasses, Y/N." Obviously, but you didn't want to give him a reason why he had to do that... You weren't really in the market of making someone blind.
"Either way." You set them on the nightstand before settling over him again. "There. Now you can go." You said, and he rolled his eyes, but nodded at you.
"Thank you." Perfect.
"So polite..." He lapped his tongue over you frantically, like he was trying to map your cunt and remember each and every fold, every inch from taste alone... God, was there anything he wasn't good at? "Just like that, yes, just like that." You whined, feeling his tongue trace over your clit.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
"Mmm... Suck my clit, good boy..." You mumbled, grinding down on his face with a sigh, feeling shivers through your whole body... It was no wonder he was good at this, he was already great at giving head and that was something you knew.
"Look so perfect under me... I..." You gasped, feeling a hand leave your thigh, but you didn't think much of it, you were too lost in the feeling of his tongue against you, how he sucked on your clit and moaned like he was in heaven.
Fuck...
"Harry... Please..." You weren't even sure what you were asking for, all you knew was that your orgasm was coming fast, and Harry was too lost in his own world to notice... Or he didn't care and intended to work you right past it, which wouldn't surprise you.
"Close... Getting close." You whined, and Harry nodded under you, letting out a whimper of his own, but you weren't sure why... Hell, you couldn't bring yourself to care, all you knew was that you were gonna cum, and Harry wanted you to.
Really, that was all it took to send you over the edge as you shivered against his face, reaching down to tug his hair as you let out long moans of his name... Fuck, you were seeing stars, and he was not stopping.
"Shitshitshit..." You slumped against the wall, shivering as his tongue continued to move before you slipped off of him and gently pried his face from between your legs, wiping his mouth with your thumb. "Jesus Christ, Potter." You mumbled, watching as he quickly sat up, walking away from you.
Huh?
"What?" He asked, sounding worried, and you were quick to shake your head. All you meant by that was that he made you feel so fucking good.
He reappeared and you grinned, shaking your head as you sat up to meet him with a kiss.
"Nothing... You are marvelous, sweet boy." You said, ruffling your fingers through his hair with a sigh as he spread your legs, carefully cleaning between them with a soft smile, leaving a kiss just above your cunt.
"Did that feel good?" He asked, and you nodded. Obviously that felt good, you would've told him if it hadn't felt good... But it was still nice that he asked.
He was the only guy you'd been with you ever bothered to.
"That felt so good..." You breathed, looking at him with a wide smile as he settled down beside you again. "Did you enjoy yourself?"
"Mhm... Plenty." He mumbled, and you furrowed your brows before it dawned on you. He'd cum while going down on you.
Fuck, that was hot.
"Oh." You breathed, feeling your cunt throb as you thought about just how turned on he must've been. He must've taken that for disgust, because he cleared his throat and looked away from you, taking a deep breath.
"Sorry if that's off-putting you're just... really hot." He mumbled, and you shook your head, wetting your lips as you looked back at his face, placing your hand against his cheek.
There was nothing wrong with him being excited while you were doing that, or with him handling himself... Your only regret was that it hadn't been your hands.
Next time it would be.
"That's so sexy, honestly." He let out a breath of relief as you dew him in for a long, lingering kiss, resting your foreheads against each other when you pulled away. "Though next time... Let me handle it, okay?" You asked, and he nodded eagerly, smiling widely as he pulled back from you.
Cutie.
"Absolutely." You chuckled, leaning in to kiss him again before speaking.
He just... Demanded it. Something in the way that Harry James Potter existed demanded affection.
"Amazing." You tucked against his chest, listening to the soft hum of his voice and the sound of his heartbeat as you let yourself relax, the serene moment filling your every thought.
Perfection.
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yesimwriting · 29 days ago
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Study Break
a/n halloween drabble <333 i wrote this while kind of sad so if it's bad that's why <3
Summary: Final-girl verse fic!! You want to catch up on homework before Halloween, unfortunately your best friends have other plans
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Whoever decided to make October one of the most academically crucial months of the year was definitely not a teenage girl.
You sigh, attention shifting away from your textbook and towards the fabric hanging on your closet's door handle. The dress, a pale pink thing that you'll definitely regret wearing the second the late-fall chill settles over the night, is the main part of your costume. A costume the world may never see if you don't finish studying for your history test.
The thought of the totally unacceptable brings you back to reality. You turn your head, forcing yourself to reread a passage on the Treaty of Paris.
After familiarizing yourself with some familiar names, you pick up an orange highlighter--which is the closest you've come to being seasonally festive--as your study mix CD begins to play a new song. The soft notes that make up the intro are cut off by a sharp click.
It's not horrifying, but you can feel your back straighten out of instinct. Your back presses into your desk's chair. You turn your head slowly.
The door to your bedroom is open, but there's nothing to be scared of in the doorway. "Guys."
Stu grins at the recognition. "Your mom let us in." He moves his hand away from your CD player before letting his arm fall to his side. "We wanted to scare you."
Despite knowing better, you let the corner of your mouth pull itself upwards. "Well then I'm completely terrified."
"Good." Stu steps further into your room, approaching your dresser. He picks up a tube of lip gloss you keep forgetting to reunite with the rest of your makeup. "Festive." He twists the tube's lid--back and forth, almost fully off and almost fully on. "Now let's keep that up and go."
You blink. Stu's sudden shifts don't surprise you as much as they used to, but you still haven't figured out how to keep up. "Go?"
Billy straightens, his body shifting away from the doorway. "The movie theatre's playing the first Halloween."
Oh. It's the kind of thing you'd usually love to be invited to. "It sounds fun," you keep your voice light, doing your best to keep your tone enthusiastic enough to convey that you do want to go without coming off as overly chipper, "But there's this history test on Friday."
Stu stills, his fingers pausing against the lipgloss tube. You tap your nails against your knee. There's objectively nothing wrong with what you've said--the three of you didn't have any pre-established plans and they didn't even call ahead to ask if you were free. But saying 'no' to them almost always makes something in your stomach knot. It's not guilt exactly, but it's an uneasy enough feeling that you do your best to avoid it.
"Yeah, your mom mentioned something." Billy steps forward.
You frown at the thought of your mom making you sound a lot lamer than you really are. You're too old to be embarrassed by your study habits, but it doesn't mean you need them advertised. "Yeah?"
"She said to see if we have better luck pulling your head out of that textbook than she did." For a second, you think Billy might be smiling, but he turns his head too quickly for you to be sure. You narrow your eyes at him as he approaches your CD player. He presses play, letting the next song on your CD finally start.
An uncomfortable warmth begins to crawl up your neck. "I..." You busy yourself with placing the cap back onto your highlighter. "I have a schedule."
Stu walks towards your bed. He sits down with a much too heavy sigh. "You always have a schedule."
"Not true."
Your defense is immediately countered, "Kind of true."
You twist in your seat, neck craning in an attempt to look at Billy. He briefly holds your stare before letting his chin dip downwards, his eyes focusing on your floor. "You guys are being dramatic, I just want to do good on this one test."
"Come on." Stu's pulled your fluffy pillow onto his lap. "You study more than anyone I know." He drags his nails against the pillow, flattening tufts of synthetic hair. "You're gonna be fine."
With a sigh, you turn your attention back to your open textbook. You have been reviewing the first few units for days now... "I just..." You don't know how to make it make sense. You know that you study and that you try and that realistically you're not going to permanently damage your GPA, but it's not easy to let go of. "Worry, I guess."
Stu lifts his head. "Then you need someone to distract you." He combs his fingers through the pillow's fluff. "You don't want to end up like Jack."
It only takes you a second to realize that he's talking about the Shining. You fight against a smile, pressing your lips together in an attempt to seem neutral. "Pretty sure he had other things going on."
"Actually," Billy starts, "I think in the original draft it was a history test that drove him crazy."
"Very funny." With a sigh, you push your seat back, moving to stand, "Let's play it safe and not risk it."
Stu grins, moving your pillow off of your lap before standing. He's next to you before you can even think to step away from your desk. "You should always listen to us, babe." He places a hand on your shoulder. "We know best."
You roll your eyes at the comment, but let him guide you forward anyway. "Don't start."
"Ignore him." Billy pauses your music before stepping towards the door. "He bought Halloween candy today and he's already had more than half the bag."
You're not surprised. "Makes sense."
Something sharp presses into your shoulder--the pressure just pointed enough to be noticeable. Did he just--"Stu!" You turn your head towards Billy. "He pinched me."
Billy turns just enough to glare at Stu. "Really?"
"She's being dramatic." As if to prove his point, Stu makes a show of smoothing his hand against your shoulder. "And you can't let her get away with everything just because she's pretty."
You're used to Stu's compliments, but this one was sudden and indirect enough to take you by surprise. You're too distracted by the warmth crawling up your neck to say anything.
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absolutechaosss · 4 months ago
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Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is how elves are shown to handle grief and trauma and how that relates to Mithruns character.
The Canaries care for Mithrun is mostly well intentioned. They legitimately like him! But it is also kind of terrible at times? Most of their care is focused on the Bare Minimum that keeps him alive and his care and comfort isn't really considered because well...to them, he's not capable of understanding it anymore.
We know this because Kabru is assigned as his care taker and Lycion comments that his hair is shinier. This means even in the stressful survival situation of the dungeon with Kabrus terrible cooking and scavenged meals, he is physically healthier than he was with the canaries.
I think it's relevant Kabru was the one to care for Mithrun this way and the one eventually realize he can be capable of new desire because Kabru is intimately familiar with how elves treat trauma. Not only was he a traumatized child but I think the most important parallel here is actually Rin.
If you haven't read her section in the Adventurers Bible, Rin is also a sole survivor of a tragic event and was taken into elven custody. She is catatonic and deeply deeply traumatized. And the elves handle it *terribly*. She's treated as goods or as an animal and she's shown to be unresponsive and not able to speak. Her recovery is directly linked to her meeting Kabru when he's brought in to help her.
Rin and Mithrun are opposites in elven society. Rin is barely a person, Mithrun isn't only an elf, but a prestigious and wealthy one. But both are survivors of horrific circumstances that hurt their ability to care for themselves and perform daily activities. And for both, it's pretty clear that it was assumed that this would become their fixed state, one where care and gentleness was pointless, because they had lost the faculties to process it.
Anyway I guess I wonder if years later when Kabru hears Mithruns story and how his condition is incurable and thus denies him personhood he thought of his. I wonder how much more quickly Mithrun may have been able to adapt to his circumstances if he wasn't told he was "broken". To me at least, Mithrun was always able to react to new things and adapt, but if everyone in the world is acting like you're basically dead and unable to ever do anything than be a weapon again yeah why wouldn't you assume that. No, I don't think Mithrun will ever be back to his former self and have all his desires back but he is able to carve out space for himself so quickly with Kabru, compared to his extensive and leas effective initial recovery with the elves. Perhaps this too is an area where their lifespans hinder them as they assume 20 years is a totally normal recovery period so why would they need to try more.
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monstersflashlight · 3 months ago
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Hiiii love!! Can i rq a male human x giantess reader? Where the human keeps trying to go after reader but she keeps brushing him off because she's afraid she'll crush him until he takes control and fucks her really good and shows her he can handle it :3 i love your blog and i even follow you secondary blog just in case hehe 💗
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Hi anons! Thank you for your compliments, it means a whole lot 🥰🥰🥰 So, I mixed both requests bc I think they fit so well, so it's not exactly giant reader, but I think this is good, hope you like it!
(Dragoness x male!reader)
Your dragon girlfriend won't fuck you. And you are salty about it.
You know it's because she's concerned and she doesn't want to risk your life for an orgasm... But you want to. You would risk all to be inside her, to feel her giant body against yours, to be surrounded by her completely. You'd gladly give your life to fuck her nice and slow, fast and hard... Any way she let you do it. You dream about it. You are constantly thinking about it. Every time she's on your field of vision, you are more than ready to throw yourself at her and climb her like a tree. (Or more like a dragon.) Your thirsty thoughts consume your every thought and you can't get enough of it. Or her.
But she still says no.
So you research and ask around. And then some more research. It takes you a while, but when the answer to all your prayers appears, you think you could cry of happiness. The solution comes in the form of a special potion, some dark magic that you know you shouldn't perform unsupervised, but you do it either way. If you can make her pussy human sized maintaining her perfect giant form, bet your ass you are going to do it. You can fuck her and she won't swallow you whole, she won't kill you in the middle of it. It could work. It will work.
You prepare the potion, half distracted thinking about all the ways you want to fuck her. All the things you want to do to her if she allows it. You are desperate and leaking by the time you have the big bowl filled with some sparkly slimy substance. You offer it to her, explaining (more or less) what it would do, telling her it will make you two compatible in bed.
You think she's going to refuse... but she doesn't.
She agrees in such an eager manner that you are vibrating out of your skin with anticipation. She's so eager that she almost knocks the bowl and throws all your effort down the drain. But she gets to drink it... and then you wait.
It takes a while, but not too long after she's panting and moaning softly, her body shaking as she strips. You watch her mesmerized, her big dragoness genitals turning little and approachable, your mouth salivating just thinking about tasting her in all the ways you want to. She nods when the process is done, you can see her pussy glistening and your cock answers with a twitch.
You don't give her a heads up before you are in front of her, kneeling over her pussy. You lick her eagerly, licking and sucking and inhaling so deeply you feel her monster musk permeate your every fiber. It's intoxicating in the best way possible. Her tail is thrashing, her wings twitching, and at some point she groans so loud that you see a flame escape her open lips. It turns you on so much you are leaking profusely.
She pushes you away then, almost throwing you against the wall as you chuckle. She lays on her back and pulls you back to her with her tail. She insists on you being on top, still worried she's going to crush you. You agree, not caring about the position as long as you can fuck her properly.
The second you are inside of her you feel like the world is right again, like everything you did in your life lead you to that exact moment. You are in heaven. You fuck her with abandon as she groans and cries out, flames burning the walls as she enjoys everything you're doing to her.
Your first orgasm together is so great you lose yourself in her, releasing all you have inside of her as your body sags against her abdomen, completely spent. She chuckles and groans when you pull out, his body shivering under you and making you moan in response.
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.
you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.
please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.
could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.
i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.
i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.
but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.
you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.
here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.
for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.
i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.
happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.
it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.
these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.
there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam
recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.
but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.
and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.
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two-white-butterflies · 3 months ago
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when he goes down on me
Description: A struggling accounting student meets a successful lawyer. A relationship blossoms. With a few social media excerpts.
Pairing: thranduil/reader
Warnings: age-gap
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There was a saying around the school - only the accountings get the accountings. While all the students from the other majors were out partying and dancing until their heels hurt from jumping, the accountings were stuck memorizing business terms and calculating debits and credits until their fingers hurt from routinely tapping their calculators. It was a figurative hell on earth.
And you have always been fond of burning.
It was seldom to see you attend a party, but miraculously your schedule cleared up and there weren't any quizzes or lectures in the vicinity. "Are you already missing the comforts of Harvard?" your father teases and you crack a smile. "God, don't remind me of studying." You groaned while slumping on the leather couch.
You've almost forgotten about the comforts of your childhood home after being surrounded by flashing white lights and empty cans of redbull, comfort wasn't exactly in your vocabulary. "I'm just saying; you ditched school to attend the neighborhood gathering and you are cooped up in this humid living room, avoiding everyone who wants to talk to you." He emphasizes, encouraging you to come out.
"Please, those people saw me grow up. I hardly think that I'm missing out." You reasoned, returning your attention back to your cellphone. "- all they ever talk about is me getting married, or at least having a boyfriend." You added while scrolling past a TikTok video about some random guy bashing Crumbl cookies.
The people in your parent's close circle were typical upper-echelon folks whose only means of communicating with some 20+ year old is asking them about marriage. Of course, your usual reply would be that you are not seeing anyone and they'd blink at you like fucking reptiles. They can't fathom the idea that a young, intelligent and relatively good-looking (not ugly) woman still didn't have a husband.
It did make you happy that they found you interesting enough to have a husband but it was infuriating that being married was the only thing they cared about you. They belonged to a different time, you tell yourself before your mind drifts back into TikTok.
"We have a new neighbor, he's a good fellow but he's a little too young for our crowd. I don't think that he's old enough to relate to Geert's Hoover Deluxe jokes. You should talk to him, you've always had magic with your words." He encourages, and a sigh escapes your mouth. "Dad, I'm not talking to one of your golf buddies." You groaned. Maybe it was a mistake coming here.
You still needed to study for the licensure test, that test was something that you could not fail. It was the first step to your CPA to Lawyer plot-line, if you are unable to handle the pressure of the licensure exam then maybe you aren't equipped with Law School. Then, maybe you should just drop out and become a stay-at-home daughter like your other friend, Magnolia.
"He's a lawyer. He handled that case that you were fixated on, the one with the ballerina and her father. Of course, he defended the ballerina." He did his best to remember your teenage ramblings about Oonagh, the ballerina, and her treacherous ex-husband, Gilbert. "What?" You pry your attention away from your mobile phone. Johnson v Johnson was the court case that began your fascination with law, and the guy who defended Oonagh Johnson was in the same house as you! Goddamn.
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Thranduil wanted to let the ground consume him whole. He's spent a lot of time with businessmen and world-leaders alike but BBQ with his neighbors was a different type of embarrassment. He couldn't relate to them in matters of American life or farming, and he honestly doesn't know enough about the outsourcing industry to make a decent connection with these folks.
Of course, he could relate to their wives about perfume, but he doesn't want to be that cunt who talks to random people's wives. He seriously wanted to go home, but then he sees a figure in his periphery. A woman with amazing hair, walking towards him and suddenly everything was happening in slow motion.
She takes a step, her hair moves along with her, the wind is her willing assistant and her lips turned upwards. A smile. Is she looking at me? He tries to hide the fact that he was looking over his shoulder. Maybe she's looking at someone behind me? He thinks, but then again, there was no one standing beside him, save the rose bush.
"Hey," you greet him and suddenly he finds himself leaning back into his true self. The confident defense attorney who charms everyone that he speaks to. "Hey?" He raises an eyebrow, as if he's teasing you. "My dad told me that you were the one who defended Oonagh Johnson back in 2012." You opened your mouth to speak.
Always straightforward. Time is gold.
"Yes, it was a terrible thing what happened to her." He breaths. The case seemingly close to his heart just like this case was to you. "I know that it sounds a little creepy but that is my favorite case in the history of the world. I was thirteen years old-" you rambled and he releases a breath that he was unaware that he was holding.
Thirteen years old in 2012. I feel so old. He muses.
"- I didn't know what I wanted to be, and then I saw you and Oonagh on the news. I knew then that I wanted to be in the same spot as you, defending women, minorities, children. I knew then that I wanted to give what was due. Justice." You finished rambling, he notices that smile on your face.
It reminded him of himself back in his rookie days, that hopeless glimmer in your eyes mirroring back to all the years before him. Some dreams remain dreams, and others turn into goals. "Well, that case is close to my heart. I don't think I've ever told anyone about this before but my mother was a victim of domestic abuse, her father was not a good man, and when I defended Oonagh, I felt some sort of retribution..." He pauses. I shouldn't tell this to a stranger.
"It is a different kind of power that you feel when you do something right. Yes, it is every citizen's right to defend themselves in the court of law whether or not they are guilty or innocent, but I think that you'll realize this when you do become a lawyer. It feels like a breath of relief when you bring true justice to the innocents." He continues. A feeling that feels so far from me now.
"Yeah, I don't know how I'll deal with choosing cases when I'm an actual lawyer but my dad says that I don't have to think about that until after I actually pass the bar." You chuckled nervously. He pries his attention away from his current woes, "Oh, are you studying law right now?" He inquired, his body leaning closer to yours.
"Oh no, I'm studying Accounting right now. It's my pre-law course." You informed, and he slowly finds himself respecting you. "I wish that I did something cool like that, my pre-law was Polsci and I wouldn't recommend it even to my worst enemy." He chuckles, his conscience floating away and instead is focused on you.
The shining starlight that has come to guide him away from this existential crisis. "I've heard a lot of things about that major. Some people say that it doesn't really equip you in law school, but the Polsci majors that I know are such cool people." You smiled, only beginning to realize that the man standing in front of you was h o t.
Hot with a capital 'H'.
He had a cleanly shaven face, and beautiful golden blonde hair that seriously rivaled those of the Targaryens that you watch on HBO. (You are still stuck in Season 5 of GOT due to being on studying jail.)
"That major did not help me in law school. It gave me an overview but law school is ultimately a different demon." He warns, staring deep into your eyes. She looks good, he thinks. "Well, hopefully if I pass next year I'll be able to apply for law school. Are there any universities that you recommend?" You ask and he ponders.
"I finished my degree in Harvard-"
"Fuck," you interrupted him. "No, I'm sorry." You gasp.
"I study in Harvard right now. It's just I found it - I don't know." You mentally cringe, accepting the fact that you've let go of your chance with dating this hot lawyer man. "It's alright, I was gonna say to not study in Harvard. Stanford is much better. I've found really formidable opponents who finished their degree in Stanford." He smiles, finding your quirks to be adorable.
It is not everyday that a woman walks into his life and talks about his best case to date, and then laugh about stupid stupid things. "The food isn't really that great to be honest," you mumbled. "Some things never change." He mused. "Oh wait, I'm sorry. I haven't introduced myself. I'm Y/N Saint." You offer your hand to shake and he takes it.
"Thranduil Greenwood." He smiles while shaking your hand. He lets go of it, and then remembers. "Daniel's your father?" He asks. "Yeah, but he's not really my biological father, he adopted me when he married my mom." You provided a bit of a background information.
He tries to make the conversation longer, in the hopes that you wouldn't walk away from him or that you'd leave at least an email or a number or a facebook profile so that he'll have some way of communicating with you. "He's a nice guy." He compliments.
"He's more than nice," you smile.
Suddenly, your phone rings. "Oh damn, sorry. I really have to catch a plane, but it was so nice talking to you attorney. Um, do you have a phone or anything. I'd love to keep in touch." You turn the alarm off, and focus your attention back to him. He unlocks his iphone and hands it to you. You glance at his wallpaper. "It's my son." he answers, not bothering to hide that fact about him.
"You have a wife?" You tired to keep your tone nonchalant, but it comes out jealous and icky. "No, his mother left when he was born. Funny enough, I couldn't blame her anyways. I was twenty, she was nineteen and she had an art degree." He jests and you try your best to find an instagram app on his phone.
How old is this man anyways? All he had on his phone was whatsapp, imessage, a few apps that were there when you buy the phone, and then two different email apps (email for apple and gmail.) Which made you want to laugh at him, as it was adorable, but you decide to open his notes app. "I don't have any social media except for instagram so I'll just write my username down and hopefully you do have an Instagram at home." Your voice turns nervous at the end.
There was a 50/50 chance that Thranduil had an instagram. "Goodbye, it was nice talking to you." You greet, handing him his phone, but before he could reply - you sprint away.
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yournamesaint: mornings like these...
liked by 891 others
>comments
ingridhorstefe: the type of thing u see before going to bed - yournamesaint: chug redbull and the bed becomes a theory - ingridhorstefe: id reply something smart abt management theory but my brain is fcking fried
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"Thank you for helping me set up an Instagram account, Tauriel." Thranduil thanks his intern before taking a sip of his coffee. "I don't think that you should post anything for legal reasons, but I already fixed your profile and privated your account. I also told everyone in the firm to follow you, Legolas says he'll only follow you after you get 10 followers so everyone won't think that he's following a bot." Tauriel continues, and Thranduil has no idea what those words mean.
"It is about time that I enter the realm social media. I mean, it is one thing to not have social media but Atty. Elros has an instagram and he's literally fifty something." Thranduil jokes. "I did tell you to sign up, which reminds me, you should follow Atty. Alfred." Tauriel presses the 'follow' button on his screen.
"As much as I hate Atty. Elros he has an amazing feed." He jokes again, and Tauriel nods agreeing with him. "He's actually an excellent photographer, I've heard a story about him actually. I heard that he wanted to be a photographer at first but then had a change of heart because his twin brother became a neurosurgeon..." Tauriel informs.
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greenwoodlaw_ has requested to follow you
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yournamesaint wants to call you.
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"Hello," he greets seeing your face on the other end of the line. "Hey, I'm surprised to see you with an instagram. I mean I'm not stalking you or anything, it just says 'new' on your profile." You found yourself explaining to him, and he responds with a laugh. "Tauriel, my staff, helped me make this account. I figured that it was about time that I make one, I mean even the old lawyers in the neighboring firm have their own social medias." His big eyebrows merged together.
"I was about to give you my phone number yesterday but I remembered that I didn't have a line. I wouldn't be able to call you or reply to the text messages." You reply uneasily. Your father has pestered you about getting a line since the moment you bought your phone, but you shook him off saying that no one texts or calls people in their mobile number anymore. You were wrong.
"I didn't really bother paying for that since it's a distraction." You settle your phone on the desk in front of you, not bothering to adjust it to an angle that'll make you look better. There is no use fighting against what you really look like. "I understand. Shouldn't you be studying?" He asks and you shake your head.
"I'm free, miraculously, but I'll start on some reviewers in an hour. Better safe than sorry." You inform.
"You must always be on your feet." He says.
"You sound a lot like my professor." You teased. "- but thank you for the advise, I shall use it well." You add.
Tauriel walks inside of his office, carrying a stack of files. "Oh, it looks like you've got a lot of work to do." You smile. Tauriel raises an eyebrow but he gives her a glance telling her not to ask any questions. "I guess this is goodbye. I'll call you again tomorrow."
"Goodbye,"
"Bye."
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161 notes · View notes
bellestarot · 5 months ago
Text
Pick a pile
July 2024 Predictions
♡ Take your time to choose.
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✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Pile I
What do I need to know about the month of July?
Pile number 1, The month of July will be a time when you will be very focused on your work or a project you started and will finish during this month. You will learn more about working in a group and will also be making new friends.
You will be tested in dealing with your emotions and ambitions, as not everything you want will come when you desire. So, you will learn to wait and not make hasty decisions about various situations that may be related to work or personal life, but it will be a test of your patience.
How will my love life be this month?
"Dancing Queen" by ABBA started playing in my head when I asked about your love life in July. You might be going through a rejection or a relationship that didn't work out. Or you may still be hurt by what happened in the past after a breakup.
But I have good news: when you manage to move on and understand that you have many opportunities and possibilities to find love again, your life will work out. I see you happy, I see this song playing in the places you go. Pain and loneliness may be part of the process, but they cannot last too long. So, you will get through this and will be able to move on because I see that there are people and stories to be written about love in your life again.
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What is the best path to financial success this month?
The best path to financial success is to have patience. I see that this pile is for people who sometimes don't handle frustration very well, and this could be a test so that better things can come and things can get right in your life.
Maybe you have gone through a difficult situation financially or in your career, something that hurt you, but the cards here ask that you do not lose hope, do not lose your dreams and ambitions—they are still there.
Perhaps you have lost people you were working with for a long time, and they are now distant or have been laid off. But I want you to understand that things will improve. I see that it is an acceptable pain, but you have to let go for new things to come, new opportunities are on the way.
What health precautions should I take this month?
You need to exercise more and take care of your entire body. You should go for walks, runs, and also drink more water. Eat healthy foods such as fruits like melon and banana. Improve your diet to enhance your health.
What spiritual or practical advice can I follow to grow during this period?
What I see here spiritually is that you should leave where you are and explore the world, getting to know new places and learn every day to balance your emotions and your logic without letting one outweigh the other.
⊲ Ⅱ ⊳
Pile II
What do I need to know about the month of July?
In pile number 2, July will be about this: You'll be speaking more, I mean saying exactly what you want to say. You'll work a lot on your throat chakra, and you'll manage to express what bothers you, what you want to change, and your feelings about a certain situation. So, the situation will be resolved.
Right now it might seem pending in your head, but it will be resolved, and you'll see that the effort you're putting into any situation will be very worthwhile, you'll mature and learn a lot during this month of July.
What will my love life be like this month?
Maybe some people won't identify with the romantic situation in pile 2 during July. But I see something ending here, I see ego clashes, I see narcissism being exposed, and I see that neither side is winning this battle; both are losing, and these two people will go their separate ways.
Perhaps this applies to a relationship that is already heading towards wear and tear or not. But I see that other people are also involved in this relationship's turbulence. I'm not sure of their exact role, maybe friends or relatives, but I think these people are there, and I see that with a broken heart for some reason that I can't identify, you'll prefer to be alone.
You'll want solitude, you won't want to seek out someone at this moment; it's not your focus, it's not what you want.
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What is the best path to financial success this month?
I see that you have a very relevant position in your job. I see that during July, you'll be able to work well, balancing your tasks and projects; you'll be able to profit a lot from it. Maybe you have your own investment, so I see that you'll be working with other people, and you'll be able to achieve your goals. It might take a while in terms of waiting for results, but I see these results coming, and you and the people you trust in your work environment will achieve something very positive. I see celebration, I see you reclaiming your power.
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What health precautions should I take this month?
I get a message to take care of your back. Maybe you have scoliosis or need more comfortable and adaptable beds for your back situation, so I see that you need to pay more attention to this area of your body.
What spiritual or practical advice can I follow to grow during this period?
Continue to empower yourself, be the woman you want to be and that you inspire. Be open to new relationships; there are people genuinely interested in you. Be open to meetings and going out with new people.
And it's okay to rest from time to time.
⊲ Ⅱ ⊳
Pile III
What do I need to know about the month of July?
During the month of July, it will be emphasized that you need to have fun and be yourself 100%. This will manifest in various ways in your life.
How will my love life be this month?
In July, you will be increasingly open to meeting new people. I see many romantic interests and relationships you might have with some people. You will be stepping out of your comfort zone and available to meet different people. One could be someone your age or younger, and another could be someone more responsible, with serious intentions of having a serious relationship with you.
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What is the best path to financial success this month?
Pile 3 If you are looking for a job, I have to inform you that this opportunity will arrive during the month of July. I see you getting this job quite quickly, on a day you least expect it, and you will be very happy with this opportunity.
If you are already employed, I have to inform you that both your career and your finances will bring positive news. You will stand out more at work. You will get more attention for your projects, and I see many of the things you are planning being realized.
What precautions should I take with my health this month?
Maybe you have many insecurities regarding your appearance, or perhaps you have many fast thoughts and need to seek therapeutic help from a psychologist to work on this. I see that you might type a lot, maybe work with typing, and have many tasks to do. The tarot is asking you to pay attention to these areas, both mental and some physical, related to your daily life.
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What spiritual or practical advice can I follow to grow during this period?
You should have fun. Pay attention to your emotions and mental health. If you feel it is affecting you, seek help to better work through some memories from the past.
⊲ Ⅱ ⊳
Pile IV
What do I need to know about the month of July?
The month of July will reveal much about your relationships, whether romantic, friendships, or professional connections, and how you handle them with strength.
How will my love life be this month?
If you intend to have a serious relationship with someone, it is likely to happen. I see that you think seriously about dating someone before deciding on a date, especially if the person is younger or appears very mature. Moving forward in this manner might lead you to someone quite different. This person could be your ideal partner, and it seems like you both will be completely in love. I see this as a lasting and happy relationship where this person will help you grow and mature together.
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What is the best path to financial success this month?
In July, you will be surrounded by others in your career or while managing your finances. You have a sweet and emotional disposition, which can be positive for your career, but sometimes you need to be firm and speak more sternly to be heard. Your efforts will be rewarded in the end, although you might be distancing yourself from a colleague due to something they said that hurt you. However, this won't be a major issue in your career this month.
What health precautions should I take this month?
If you exercise and take care of your health, this will bring positive results in July. Continuing with your health routines will significantly improve your well-being. Overall, the advice is more about maintaining your current practices rather than making major changes, except perhaps moderating your alcohol intake. The outlook is generally positive.
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What spiritual or practical advice should I follow to grow during this period?
You should assert yourself more. You may take a trip soon, and you will eventually have the family you dream of with your loved one. However, be cautious of people around you, especially at work, who may have bad intentions. They might withhold important information or propose partnerships that could result in financial losses. Pay attention to a male figure around you.
We made it to the end! Thanks for joining in on this tarot reading for July. Here's hoping it's all good vibes and we tackle any hurdles stress-free.😆☺️😘
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bonny-kookoo · 1 year ago
Note
Does someone older JK spoil the OC sometimes? Like surprise her with something which he considerd to be nothing it would mean so much to her?
Oh he does, ALL the time! Warnings for a bit of angst, beginnings of a panic attack but Kook handles it well
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"...we can go there again, maybe before new year's if I can get a table on short notice." He simply says as he drives you both back to his place, radio playing quietly in the background.
You're still a little overwhelmed.
He does things like this a lot- expensive dinner dates in restaurants he either knows or wants to try out, randomly buying you clothes or jewelry he finds online and deems pretty, or he just changes things in his house to adjust it more towards you and your preferences. Like the pillows in his bedroom, the by now multiple pairs of thick socks for your cold feet, or the baking supplies he bought for you now stacking up in his kitchen.
It's things like that you're not used to. In the past, it has always been you who needed to adjust and do things for your partner- not the other way around. So now, you feel almost guilty whenever he does something- like a bank account draining, slowly going further and further into the negatives, red numbers piling up and making you anxious as to when he'll want it all payed back.
"Did you not like it?" He wonders, taking your silence as a sign of discomfort as he pulls up on the expressway. "You don't have to lie." He chuckles, reaching out to hold your hand.
"No, it's not that." You deny, letting him warm up your cold fingers. "It's just.. it was a little expensive, no?" You wonder, and he shrugs.
"Was it? To be honest, I don't think it was considering what we ate." He just brushes off. "I've been to steak restaurants that were a lot more expensive and half the quality. And the service was great too, so I didn't mind." Jungkook explains, and it's now that you realize once again that you and him live in quite different worlds. Or at least, used to.
For him, money isn't an issue. He's made and is making enough of it to live comfortably, he doesn't have to really worry about running out of it anytime soon, even if his company was to go bankrupt next week. And he's also got enough saved up, has invested with good tactics in mind, so it's really no wonder he doesn't see a problem in spending the amount that he does.
But you aren't used to that. You have been living paycheck to paycheck with barely anything left over at the end of the month, needing your bonus desperately as to not fall behind on any payments you have to make regularly. You've lost your apartment before, had to sleep at friend's places to get by, and even ate only at the company cafeteria to save money usually spent on groceries. All of this feels almost excessive, and you also worry.
What if Jungkook starts spending too much on you? He shouldn't fall into a habit of mindlessly throwing money out.
"What's on your mind, darling?" He wonders, lifting your hand to kiss the back of it, before he changes lanes.
"I just.." you fidget a little. Jungkook isn't a bad guy. He won't get mad. He won't scold you. You won't have to endure being lectured for the rest of the ride- you know all this, and yet again, the past haunts you and makes your breathing pick up as you begin to chew on your lip.
Suddenly, you realize he's pulling up to a gas station, parking on the side. He gets out to get something from the backseat, before he walks around the car to open the passenger door where you sit, unbuckling your seatbelt. "Here." he offers the bottle of water, having opened the cap for you. "Put your legs out like that- there we go. Breathe baby." He gently tells you, squatting down a bit to make himself look smaller. "Take your time."
You feel embarrassed. How do you explain to him that you were feeling like a kid about to confess a bad grade just now?
"We can keep it a one-in-a-month thing, maybe, if that makes you more comfortable." He proposes. "I didn't take into account that it might be overwhelming to you- I'm sorry." He apologizes, but you shake your head, looking down at your knees.
"I just.." You mumble, unsure how to really explain. "I feel.. back then, you know.." You sigh, having trouble finding the proper words. "Talking in the car makes me.. anxious." You admit. "Because you know, when you get mad.. I can't escape.." You say. "I can't get away from it."
Jungkook kindly takes the bottle away from you to put it on the backseat again, before he's back in front of you.
"Thanks for telling me. I had an idea it might be that, but I wasn't sure." Jungkook says, hands on your knees. "I promise you I'm not mad. And I'm in no position to be mad at you for having opinions or personal taste that might differs from mine. We're two different people-" He chuckles. "-of course we'll have different views on things."
"But I really liked the dinner too." You say. "I just.. I don't want you to start.. spending so much money on me to the point of, I don't know, losing sight of it." You confess. "And maybe, we should keep stuff like this a bit rare? So it doesn't become routine. I want to keep it special.." You say. "I'm not.. I don't really know much about this stuff, because I never had enough money to go to these fancy places, and get designer clothes, or plan vacations in different countries and all that. I feel.. stupid sometimes?" You spill, making him lean his head a bit to the side. "Like, what if you one day take me to a company gathering or something, and someone asks me something and I can't answer or I say something dumb-" You rant. "-or maybe you won't ever take me because I'm too young? Maybe Eve is right and I'm not really the kind of-"
"Baby, darling, stop-" He chuckles, pushing your shoulders back a bit to look at him. "-take a good breath. You're panicking." He worries a little, but tries hard to stay composed as to not make you spiral any further. "Eve is wrong. If you're okay with this, of course I'll take you to company events. Why wouldn't I show off such a beautiful women at my side? I'd never pass up a chance to make those stuck up geezers jealous." He jokes, making your crack up a little. "Let's keep the dinners to special occasions. Keep it special, like you said." He offers, holding your hands now. "And I'm also.. the fact that you worry about me makes me feel.. very special." he chuckles. "I appreciate you looking out for me."
"I always look out for you.." You mumble. "..I just don't want to overstep any lines. You know. Since you're older than me-"
"Just because I'm older doesn't automatically mean that I know everything better." He reassures you. "Our age gap has nothing to do with any sort of power balance. Please don't think you can't speak your mind just because I was born earlier than you."
"..okay." You nod, and he leans forward to peck your lips, before he closes the door for you after you pull your legs back in and buckle your seatbelt, him getting back into the driver's seat to do the same.
"You know.." he starts, as he pulls out of the gas station to continue the drive back home. "..I'm really falling in love with you." He chuckles, dimples of his cheeks showing with how hard he smiles.
"Huh?" You wonder, taken aback by the sudden confession.
"I mean it." He nods. "I really am."
"I'm glad then." You admit. "..cause I am too." You admit, making him grin before he reaches over to hold your hand again.
Knowing that he really won't ever let you go again.
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girlgenius1111 · 1 year ago
Text
i could change up my body and change up my face
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arsenal x platonic young reader
warnings: this discusses an eating disorder. this is based off my experience; everyone's are different.
You thought you were doing the right thing. The healthy thing. You'd always been a more muscular player, and it hadn't really bothered you. Football players varied in size; it didn't mean anything for how good you were. You debuted for Arsenal at only 18, and people had a lot to say; most of it you could handle. The comments on your weight, on how if you were smaller, you'd be faster, better, were what caused the problems.
It spiraled quickly; one day you were skipping dessert, and the next you were skipping entire meals. It was hard to balance: eating enough that you didn't feel like you were going to pass out on the pitch, but not so much that you could barely look at yourself in the mirror. Evidently, it was harder than you thought. You only managed it a few weeks before people began to catch on that something was up.
Your teammates had noticed that your behavior was off recently. You were less talkative, and you saw everyone outside of training a lot less. A few of them had discussed it, and had decided to keep an eye on you, see if things got worse.
When you passed out during training, everyone thought you were joking. It had recently become a popular prank; you and Kyra pretending to be hurt, scaring everyone, before popping back up. It was a bit of a boy who cried wolf situation: when you went down, a few people glanced over, but thought you were kidding, especially because no one had been near you. It was a hot day, though, and you'd barely eaten. You were lightheaded before you got out on the pitch, but once training began it only got worse.
You managed to last through the first part of the scrimmage, before you had to stop, putting your hands on your knees and breathing hard. Black spots dotted out your vision, and the world spun gently around you. You though you heard Katie make a joke about you already being winded, but you were falling to the ground.
In fairness to your teammates, it only took about 10 seconds before they realized something was actually wrong. Katie and Lia watched you go down, and something about it just looked wrong; you crumpled too easily for it to have been on purpose. Swearing, they both rushed to your side, rolling you onto your back.
"Fuck. Medics!" Katie called, kneeling down beside you.
"Hey, y/n, can you hear me?" Lia called, lightly tapping your cheek. Your eyes were shut, and you were completely limp on the ground. At her prompting, though, you groaned, shifting slightly and opening your eyes. Both girls sighed in relief. You blinked up at them in confusion. Why were you on the ground? You tried to sit up, but both girls stopped you.
"No, stay here, we need to make sure everything's alright," Lia said, as the physios finally arrived. A small crowd had gathered around you and your cheeks flushed red at that realization. You'd messed up. No one was going to let it go that you'd passed out. None of your protective, caring, overbearing teammates would let it go until they knew why this had happened. And they couldn't know: if they knew, they'd make you stop.
That was really all you could think about: how possibly you were going to play this off. As they got you up, after you blatantly refused a stretcher, and walked you slowly into one of the medical rooms, your mind was flashing from excuse to excuse.
"What are you feeling?" John, the head physio, asked, once you'd settled on the exam table. He was looking at you carefully, as if he could see right through you; it was incredibly unnerving.
"Just a little dizzy, I don't think I drank enough water," you replied. John looked at you searchingly for a minute, before asking another question.
"Did you eat breakfast today?" he questioned, eyes not leaving yours. It was the way he asked; not what did you eat, but did you eat, that told you that you were caught. You knew they'd notice that you'd lost weight, you all had to do weigh ins to correctly meal plan. You just hadn't noticed a difference, and assumed there wasn't much of one. But the way that John was looking at you, it must have been more than you thought. Enough that they'd noted it, and enough that they seemed to know what they were dealing with.
"Yeah of course," you lied. He could tell.
"I'm gonna step out for a minute, alright?" With that, he headed out of the door, leaving you to stress in the room. You didn't know where he was going, and it terrified you that he could come back and blindside you with anything at any moment.
You heard voices in the hall, and prepared yourself for an onslaught of different physios, and maybe the club psychologist. You weren't really sure what your plan was, and you didn't have anytime to settle on one before the door was opening.
It wasn't John, or a different physio. Not the club psychologist either. It was Leah and Katie, both walking into the room with incredibly worried looks on their faces. Briefly, you thanked god that Kim was out; she had this specific look she gave, and whenever you got it from her, you told her whatever you had previously been trying to hide. The odds of being able to lie to Leah and Katie weren't great, but better than if Kim had been there too.
"Using me to slack of training, McCabe?" you tried to joke. Neither girl cracked a smile.
"We talked to John. Do you want to tell us what's going on?" Leah responded, ignoring your comment.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I just got dehydrated, I'm fine." Apparently, you'd decided to play dumb. A strategy you weren't so sure of as you tried to hold eye contact with Leah.
The blonde sighed, taking a seat in one of the chair in the room. Katie remained standing, arms crossed over her chest. You were expecting tough love; harsh words that told you to get your shit together. You weren't expecting Leah's voice to soften, for her to look at you like you were fragile.
"Y/n, we want to help you."
"I don't need help with anything," you insisted.
"Then why have you lost a significant amount of weight in the past 3 weeks? Why did you just pass out on the pitch? And why haven't we seen you at any team dinners recently?" Katie replied. Her expression was hard, but you knew it was masking her worry.
You didn't know what to respond to that, honestly. You'd been expecting them to tiptoe around the issue for a while, try to get you to admit to it. In the back of your mind, you wondered if maybe you weren't in trouble. Maybe what you'd done was wrong, was bad, but it didn't mean they were mad at you, like you'd expected.
"Listen kiddo, we know there's a problem. There isn't anything you can say that will make us think there isn't."
"I don't know what to tell you. There isn't anything going on. It's not on me if you guys are seeing things that aren't there," you replied, crossing your arms. Both girls sighed, and exchanged looks.
"Okay, y/n, if that's how you want to play it. If everything is fine, you can come over for dinner with me and Lia tonight." Leah told you.
"I can't-" you began.
"Be there at 6," she interrupted, her tone leaving absolutely no room for argument.
-----
You took a seat at the table, putting your hands underneath to hide how much they were shaking. You really didn't want to be here, but there was literally no way to get out of it. If you didn't show, you expected Leah, Lia, Katie, and probably half the team to show up to your house. You didn't want to draw anymore attention to the issue that you already had, so you just needed to get through this dinner, eat the food, and go home.
How hard could it be?
"We made your favorite," Leah told you, setting down a full plate in front of you.
"We?" Lia questioned, smirking at the other woman.
"Okay, Lia made your favorite, I sat nearby and kept morale up." You only weakly smiled in response, your attention still on the seemingly massive amount of food in front of you. If they noticed, they left it, taking seats on either side of you.
They kept the conversation going, with you contributing very little. Instead, you pushed the food around your plate, taking bites every so often. You weren't saying anything, forcing every bite down your throat. Lia and Leah watched you carefully, seeing the way every time you brought the fork to your mouth, you looked like you were in pain.
You could have done this meal normally. It was just that you'd had to eat lunch with the team after training, and the food in front of you was food that had practically haunted your nightmares in the last few weeks.
By the time you'd gotten halfway done with your plate, you were close to tears. The conversation had died out, and the older women were watching you as the fork shook in your hand.
"Y/n," Leah said softly, placing her hand over yours to stop it from trembling.
You let out a deep exhale, putting your face in your hands.
"I'm sorry," you said, voice muffled. You felt horrible. Truly, completely, horrible. All you could think about was the calories you'd consumed, and the fact that there was literally no way for you to deny this anymore. It was terrifying; the recognition from the others that you had a problem made it all the more real to you.
A hand was on your arm, pulling you away from the table. You went with it, standing and following Leah out of the kitchen. She led you to the couch, sitting down in the armchair across from you. Lia came in too, placing a glass of water on the table, before sitting down on the next to you. You were staring intently at the rug, following the pattern in it across the floor, instead of looking at either of the other people in the room.
"You don't need to apologize, y/n. You're not in trouble, and we're not mad at you." Leah stated cautiously. You remained quiet. "Can you tell me when this started?"
You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking for a minute.
"Neither of us are going to judge you for anything you tell us. And we aren't going to tell anyone what you say, as long as you let us get you help," Lia promised, and you found yourself looking up at her, blinking back tears. Her face was open, kind, and you felt yourself opening your mouth and beginning to talk.
"It's only been like a month."
"Did something happen that caused it?" Lia questioned.
“I'm not really even sure what happened. I know I shouldn't read comments on social media but I did and I couldn't stop and all of a sudden..." you trailed off.
Both girls sat in silence for a minute, clearly thinking hard about what they wanted to say.
"We'll talk to the club psychologist, and we'll get you in therapy. We'll get you better, and everything will be fine," Leah said, trying to project confidence. You knew she was just trying to help; outline a plan for you, let you know that there was a fix.
It wasn't that easy, though. The way she said it, like it was just a matter of going to therapy, and then it would be all better, made you inexplicably angry. Clearly, she didn't understand how hard this would be.
"It's not that fucking simple Leah," you said bitingly, and both girls looked at you in surprise.
"Y/n, I know it's not-"
"No, you can't just say that. List out 2 steps and make it seem like it'll be easy. It's going to be impossible, and I don't even want to-" you cut yourself off, jaw snapping shut.
"You don't even want to what, y/n?" Lia asked, eyebrows pinched in confusion.
"I don't want to stop. I don't think I can, I don't think I'm strong enough," you said, voice cracking over the last few words. Just as quickly as it had arrived, your anger had disappeared, leaving your eyes stinging with tears.
Before you knew what was happening, Leah was crossing the space in between you, sitting down on your other side, and pulling you into a bone crushing hug. The force of it knocked the air out of you slightly, leaving you to hold tightly to the stability that Leah brought.
"I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't mean to make it sound like it would be easy; I know it won't be," she paused. "Alright, I don't know what it will be like, because I haven't gone through this, but I promise you, you are strong enough to get better.
"And you don't have to do it alone; we'll be here, whatever you need," Lia cut in from your other side, sounding earnest. They wanted to help, so badly. It shouldn't have surprised you, how much they cared, but it did. It always did.
-----
Lia had told the truth. Every member of the team, even if they didn't know exactly what was going on, helped you in some way.
Leah and Lia had you over for dinner most nights; their support was silent, but there all the same. They didn't make a big deal of it if you finished your meal, or if you didn't. They trusted that you were trying.
Katie took your phone one day, wordlessly grabbing it out of your hands and disappearing. When she came back with it, you found the comments on all your posts limited to people you followed.
Alessia ate lunch with you, every day, no matter how long it took. She talked to you to, about her experience, but never made you feel like you had to tell her anything in return. It helped more than you could express, knowing that you weren't alone, that someone knew what you were going through.
Viv grocery shopped for you, when she figured out it was something you struggled with. She always bought too much, but she always gave you options. When things started to get easier, Viv still took you grocery shopping. It was her way of checking in without making you talk, seeing how you were doing by how overwhelmed you got.
You were partially right; it wasn't easy, but you were strong enough. And when you weren't feeling like you were, your teammates stepped up and were strong where you weren't. You could do it, you could recover. You weren't sure if you would have been able to by yourself, but it didn't matter, because you weren't.
-----
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grison-in-space · 12 days ago
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Hi fellow neuroscientist and animal behavior observer! What's up? It's a weird ass time to be a scientist in the US right now. Like there's the doom and despair taking up most of my brain but also I have a lab presentation in 1.5 weeks and my committee meeting two weeks after that. How do you make yourself focus on lab/science stuff?
I'm so sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you; I've been rotating this ask in my mind for over a week now. I hope your lab presentation went well, and I hope your committee meeting does, too. Bear in mind that I am reeling as much as anyone else, but... well, I have had a lot of things happen during my academic career, and I have had some practice with this by now. I was displaced from my home three or four times during grad school, and all but once that was because of climate change related flooding. (I actually cannot remember offhand. That kind of thing fucks with your ability to reckon in chronological time, which is why no one has been able to work out how years work since 2020 at latest.) I did my PhD in Texas, too, which gave me some exciting experiences around campus violence and guns.
But maybe the biggest thing for me is that I started grad school in 2012, right in time for the government sequester of 2013. That was the year Patty Brennan (of corkscrew duck penis fame) published an article in Animal Behaviour laying out helpful tips in case your research is targeted as "wasteful spending" by members of Congress seeking to reduce scientific funding. Brennan's work legitimately is groundbreaking--I started out close enough to her field to be able to say that almost no one was looking at vaginal anatomy when she started and she's really driven the field of reproductive conflict forward by systematically looking at methods by which females exert "cryptic choice" to control their own reproductive futures. But it sounds silly at first blush in a sound bite, so she immediately became a target when her work went viral. And that paper came out a decade ago, and we are no better than when we started.
I've gotten pretty good at working through grief and fear, and I've tangled with burnout more than once. So how do you handle it when everything is overwhelming and frightening?
You sketch out the work you can do, and you do it as best you can. Same as anyone else.
Here's the thing. You're a budding scholar. Whatever your field is, you probably know more about it than anyone who isn't a scholar in your field already, and you care about broader justice or you wouldn't be asking me this. This makes you a precious potential resource for whatever activist cause is nearest and dearest to your heart. You are placed, as a person whose career is focused on the pursuit of knowledge, in a position of great authority. Yes, even as a PhD student, although I do agree that having the PhD makes the things you say even more impactful. But you'd be surprised how far even just "PhD student" can go when you're making a stand.
You are a valuable voice when it comes to the intersection of your expertise and your community--and by that, I don't just mean your discipline and your geographical location; I mean your lived experiences and your identities too. If you burn out, your voice and effort may be completely irreplaceable. So make sure you don't burn out, but don't waste your potential to speak out, either. You can do that by working out what your "beat" is: pick one to two things you care really deeply about working on in the world, that you want to make better, and focus on those. Use your authority to make changes.
Currently, my "beat" is focused on disability justice (especially in terms of neurodivergence) and sex/gender, because those are communities I am part of and that I think deeply about. My work there can take a lot of forms: shoving hard on the pernicious medical thought process that tends to conceptualize disorder and disease as a deviation from a uniform functional population; pointing out the complexity inherent in sex differences and sex itself; building relationships with disabled academics to make networks for one another so that we can better support trainees as well as ourselves building alliances between disability justice scholars and researchers tackling these topics with an eye towards integrating the comments and interests of disabled people into the field of study that theoretically focuses on us. These are topics that tie into my research interests (context dependence, decisionmaking, strategy, developmental plasticity, etc) but also into my sense of justice and the communities in which I spend my life as an autistic queer butch.
Think about the things you care most about making better, and think about how those things intersect with your research interests. Is there a bathroom bill you could write a deposition for explaining how complicated sex actually is? A local news reporter who could use a scientist talking about the long term climate impacts of the new fracking project up the road? A new policy on immigrant familial separation that is going to lead to kids with major attachment issues down the line and increase the odds of terrible outcomes? Creative ways to send promising undergrads from underrepresented backgrounds on for new opportunities if you live in a state where DEI initiatives have been banned? (Man, that was an exhausting conversation to have with the North Carolina folks at my last conference. And the Floridians.) Where will your voice carry the most weight for the amount of energy you allocate to it?
Here's my best stab at practical advice for junior trainees:
Figure out what your limit for practical engagement is and defend it viciously. The thing about being in academia, and about having the PhD for that matter, is that it gives you a lot of leverage for speaking authoritatively about problems in your field and in your community. This, too, can be a form of activism and shaping the world. But if that's the weapon you are making out of your career, you can't also be an effective organizer on the ground for eight different local causes. You can't do everything at once, so pick a limited subset of things to focus on and work on those. Like academia, public impact will suck you dry if you let it, so you have to set boundaries and you have to be clear with yourself about that.
As always with research, your topic should be something you're interested in. Apply your priorities as a human being to your research. Move your project in directions you really care about and which are aligned with your values. Talk with your mentors about how you pitch that to other scientists in your field, of course, but if you're really shaken and scared by the political climate... well, better to apply that to your work than to not be able or interested in focusing on the work at all.
Look for things to celebrate and militantly celebrate them, even if it feels silly. You submitted a manuscript? Make a special dinner. You survived your committee meeting? Meet up with a couple of friends for coffee and cheering. You need things to cheer about, and your job is not going to naturally provide them, so lay out things you can celebrate and celebrate them even if you don't feel like you really achieved anything. (Your PI should help with this, but a lot of them don't. If your PI is absentee, try to find labmates or colleagues to celebrate when you can.) Joy and pride fuel us to keep going; make sure you are feeding them. You do not need money to make this happen, either: there are inexpensive ways to make things feel special, even if your stipend doesn't stretch nearly far enough.
Especially if your lab isn't full of people in your corner, make some friends who feel the same way you do about your "beat". Fellow activists (or just people who care) about your biggest priority are a great choice. Back in the day, I would have exhorted you to join Twitter to build that network; these days, I think most everyone is on Bluesky or Mastodon. You need people who get you and who are in your corner, and you need people who don't have power over your career to help you weather it when the storms rise.
People in the midst of despair don't know the future, either. There will be victories to come moving forward. It will be impossible to imagine them as you are today. The future is murky and uncertain, and you never know what battles you can win until you pitch them. Don't let anyone tell you a battle has been lost until you fight it, and don't make the mistake of thinking that what you do today doesn't matter intensely.
Life is iterative: it always starts from what you do today, and small aggregate decisions have a lot more power over the whole than any individual large one. If you don't like the direction you're going, you can always change direction for a while and see where you go. The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago; the second best time is now.
Find ways to take breaks completely from the political situation. Currently, I have just gotten into Minecraft for the first time, and I am playing a lot of stupid pixelated escapism games. You have to have time to recharge yourself away from all of it. Whatever that looks like to you is good enough. I need, personally, to get back into going for long walks in the woods; that one is one of my old reliable helpful ways to think without getting overwhelmed about it.
So. I don't know if anything has gotten better or worse for you over the last couple of weeks, but I hope for better for you. As for me... well, it's probably time to go back to my grant. We're short on funding going into this mess and who knows if the grant I'm writing for an explicitly DEI-oriented program will survive the coming hammer blows long enough to get it in. Even if it doesn't, I have a couple of book pitches I'll write up and a couple of suggestions for jobs along the way I can take. I can always redirect my effort to a new direction.
Take care of yourselves, friends.
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bigfan-fanfic · 1 month ago
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The Things I Do For You (Male!Reader x Josh Washington)
@inhumanshadows Josh Washington introduces his bf to his friends and sisters at the lodge.
Set of course in an alternate universe where Josh's therapy went far better and the prank never happened!
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His sisters are literally the nicest people in the world, it seems. Hannah's the one with the glasses, you remember.
Both of them were so happy to finally meet you, and instantly treat you like one of the family.
"Josh has been... so much happier lately. So... thank you. For being there for him, cause he tends to clam up around us." Beth smiles.
You grin back at her. "He's been there for me, too. We're a good team."
"That's good."
"You'll need it up here." Hannah says cryptically. Beth just rolls her eyes.
"No drama, Han. This weekend is about Josh and Y/N. Okay?"
Hannah sighs, then smiles. "You're right. I'm sorry."
It feels like some sort of choice has been made, but by then, Josh has returned and mischievously pulled you into a kiss from behind.
He grins at you. "Howdy, pilgrim." He drawls in a terrible cowboy voice.
You push him away lightly. "How dare you. Kissing me the coward's way."
"Well, allow me to try again." He winks, then moves to your front to kiss you again. Hannah mimes a gagging motion, and Beth smacks her arm.
"The others should be arriving soon. Should we just all just hang around and not say anything about Y/N until they freak out?" Hannah asks mischievously.
"You mean gaslight them out of meeting my boyfriend?" Josh laughs. "You up for it, Y/N?"
"Nah, I'm not much for pranks. Besides, you couldn't keep your hands off me for that long."
"Guilty."
Beth chuckles at your easy banter, but then the twins freeze when you look over at Josh. "Did you get your meds yet, babe? I think I heard your alarm go off."
"Oh, shit, you're right!" Josh's eyes widen and he goes to grab them.
Beth looks at you. "Wow. He used to get really sensitive about that."
"He knows I'm looking out for him, and we're just trying to work together on it."
"Well, I'm glad." Hannah grins.
The others arrive, and Josh lets the twins handle the greetings, because he took you down to the boiler to get the hot water working so you could make some tea.
"So, my friends... some of 'em can be a little... hard to handle sometimes. But deep down, we're all in a little love fest." Josh chuckles.
You nod. "They're pranksters, eh?"
"Yeah. I know you don't like em all that much, so I'll try to let em know you're not about practical jokes."
"Thanks." you smile, kissing his cheek.
An impatient text from Hannah recalls you both up from a make-out session in the basement
Emily and her boyfriend Mike are the first to arrive, having given Beth's best friend Sam a ride.
Mike shoots you some finger guns, and Sam offers a hug. Emily seems a little more reserved, but offers you a warm greeting. She makes a little joke about you finally teaching Josh some manners, and offers you some advice.
"Make sure you train them early." She winks. "These boys don't know their heads from a hole in the ground, but they learn quick. First rule: Emily is always right. Second rule, Mike?"
Mike gives her a mock-pout. "Nothing else matters because Emily is always right."
She gives you a little shrug as if to say "See?" before sauntering off.
Jess, Ashley, Matt, and Chris come next, having carpooled, Jess shows off her braided pigtails, claiming she let Ashley braid them in the car. Matt high-fives Josh and lets you know he's "totally supportive of the LGBT community, you know?"
Chris pretends to stand off with you. "So, you're the other man, huh?"
Jess giggles. "I always knew you two had a thing, Chris!"
"What? I meant, like, platonic versus romantic and-"
"Chris is jelly!" She sings, and Chris chases after her as she chants it through the lodge.
"I hope you're doing okay. Lots of meetings all at once - I'd be freaking out." Ashley chuckles, and shakes your hand.
It's lucky you're there - it's one of the last times here at the lodge for them before they all go off to college and start the next phase of their lives.
You suspect that had they not all been on their best behavior out of support to their friend, someone would've caused some huge drama.
But as it is, Josh refuses to drink cause it messes with his meds, so Mike and Chris decide to polish off a bottle in his honor - meaning Mike passes out with Chris halfway into the night and thus instead of Hannah making a move and Emily and Jess starting a retaliatory prank, the group has more of a chill game night vibe.
Josh gets clingy when the sun goes down and demands cuddles.
"The things I do for you," you playfully sigh, and the two of you settle under a blanket in front of the TV.
The gang easily pivots to putting on a movie and falling asleep, the snow falling peacefully outside.
And far across the mountain, the ancient things remain contained, another year kept at bay.
You never do get back up to the lodge. But even if a lot of Josh's friends move on after that, his sisters become your lifelong friends, and you know that Josh and you are gonna be something good...
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petew21-blog · 6 months ago
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Teen wolf - Alpha needs his pack Part 2.
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Hey, y'all already know who we are right? We're like two of the most popular guys at school. Or maybe the coolest. Or... ok forget I said that. We are just bestfriends, by day we do normal shirt together by some nights Scott is doing his wolf stuff and I try to help out as much as I can.
But recently sometihng has changed. Scott started to act more dominant. We spoke less and less. He is so focused on the pack and the dangers that might come, but that's not how Scott usually is. Also, what happened to Theo? He is always ten steps behind Scott like some sort of a servant and he even keeps looking at me. But not with his self-centered I AM BETTER THAN YOU look, but now he looks like he wants to tell me sometihng, like he is being punished. I'll try to talk to him, since Scott is distancing himself from me now. HE EVEN GOT A TATTOO. Without me! We were talking getting one and he didn't wait for me. Ok, maybe my dad would be against it, but I would resist. Maybe, for a while. Ok, I wouldn't dare, but you know. He could have said something.
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I think I was getting really desperate. My best friend is not talking to me, everyone else would think the way that I do. I knew If I were in his pack he couldn't ignore me. But if my dad found out I was bitten someday, he would flip. Or maybe I would too. The first transformation must be horrible. Which is why I contacted one witch. She is not evil, but doesn't work for free. And I still didn't have an idea how to get Scott to talk to me, but she would know what to do. Wouldn't she?
We met up in the forest. She brough a box with her with all sorts of potions and equipment. She was a middle aged, very beautiful woman, nice hair, leather jacket.
"Hey. You're not the witch from Snow White I was expecting."
"Money" she said annoyed after my joke
I handed her the money. And started nervously: "Haha, sorry about that. I just get nervous handling illegal stuff in the dark with strangers. Not like I would do that, like ever. Not like drugs or anything. I don't do drugs..."
"You talk too much." She handed me a small vial of liquid. As I observed the vial, she touched my hand. "Do you even know, there's some magic in you? Are you so blind to everything around you, you don't even see whats in you?"
"I am a wizard?"
"No. You have some magic, but you're weak." she started packing her things and getting ready to leave.
"Wait, you didn't tell me what to do."
"Drink it to get close to who you want." she said mysteriously.
What does that even mean? I drank the whole vial and she just smiled at me. I hope that's a good sign. A smile from a witch. Sure
Suddenly a noise echoed through the forrest. That sounded like a howl. The witch was already running away from me.
In a minute Derek appeared behind me. "What the hell are you doing here?"
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I was really surprised to see him, but also not. The wolves always protect the Beacon Hills so if there was a creature tresspassing, they would know. I tried to sound confident. "Well I could be asking you the same thing"
"Do you even know that the Dread doctors are in Beacon Hills?! Has no one told you they pose a threat, Stiles?!? They want to get to Scott and you are parading in a forrest doing god knows what."
"I was just... on a midnight walk. It's very healthy actually. You should try sometimes. But I guess you run a lot around the town during the night. Right. Anyway..."
"Stiles, shut the fuck up and let's go."
He touched my arm and then my whole world flipped. It must have happened really fast, but for us it felt like ages. I even think I saw Derek's aura? soul? I don't know. But those things switched places in our bodies. They positioned themself and after that I opened my eyes again.
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I saw myself. Myself from Derek's eyes. As I looked down I saw Derek's muscles. Oh man, he's gonna kill me now.
"Stiles?!?" the expression of my face changed from my usual friendly approach to the one I might have had maybe the last time playing a video game. I didn't even know my face could do this.
"Yesss?" whoa. Did that vibrating manly voice just come out of me? That's so hot. I have to calm down before Derek notices I am not that mad about the situation as he is.
"What exactly have you been doing here? And I need you to tell me everything." haha. My body looks so funny when he's trying to look angry.
I told him how I felt about Scott, how the witch took the money and gave me the vial and how I drank it.
He laughed of frustration. "You fuckin' idiot. Don't you get it?"
"Get what?"
"The Dread Doctors were planning to swap you and Scott. You were suppose to go meet him after this, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Well of course. Our little stiles feels intimidated by Scott new ball drop and wants to be close, just to endanger the whole town in doing so. What would you do if you swapped with him? Would you manage being the Alpha? HUH? No, right. Didn't think so."
"Sorry, this wasn't the plan."
"Oh I know it wasn't. And it sure wasn't my plan to spend the evening fucking myself."
"WHAT?! WHAT do you mean?! Why should I.... YOU...WHAT?"
"Every magical thing has a twist. And maybe from every cheesy freaky friday movie you watch, you might understand, that the people that swap have to get close somehow, make up. They always have to 'learn a lesson', 'try to walk in each others shoes', but they all take the long way. The fastest way to swap is to know how the other one FEELS."
"Derek, I... I don't know if I want this."
"Well I sure as don't want this kid, but we don't have a choice now, do we? Now, get on your knees. I got places to be."
He came close to me and started unzipping my jeans.
"Hey that's my dick!"
"No, it's mine now. And if you don't want it to be like this forever, which I really don't, then SUCK IT!"
I have to say, that seeing my own body being so dominant was in some ways really hot. I lowered myself.
"I have never seen it from this angle. It looks really nice."
"Stiles. SUCK IT!"
I didn't want to bee yelled at anymore, but Derek's body seemed to react to it slightly. I liked the shaft first, grabbing the lower part of my dick and positioned my mouth over it. My beard over my lips slightly scratching the head of my dick seemed to cause sensation to him. I pushed the dick more and more. Damn, almost no gag reflex. Convenient. My dick is real nice I gotta say. Striaght, slightly hairy, nice balls. It's not one of the biggest out there, but it's not bad in the mouth.
I accelerated. He started moaning. I used my right hand to jerk the lower half and blow the top. I think I'm getting good at this. Maybe cause Derek now put his hand in my hair to hold onto something.
"So you like it huh?"
"DON'T STOP!"
I got back to it, accelerating even more until streams of cum released into my mouth. I swallowed.
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"So? When do you think we're gonna swap?" I asked him
He hyperventilated from the orgasm. "I... I thought this would work actually."
"Well maybe we gotta fuck for real. Let's go to my place. My dad's on duty now.
We entered my room. I could see the post nut clarity in his eyes. Post nut clarity and desperation. Nothing I haven't seen before on my own face.
"Ok, Derek. The lube is in the drawers. There is a completely new one. I haven't had a chance to use it. Guess I still won't be the first one using it. Hahah."
"What do you mean?"
"You just came. My body isn't used to cum two times a in an hour, So if you can't do the math, I'll do it for you."
"We'll wait until your body's dick gets hard." he said indifferently
A wave of anger swept over me
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"Listen here, Derek. You suggested this and I followed. Now it's your turn to obey and do what I tell you. You don't want to be stuck like this and these are your methods. So we're gonna fuck. And I will be on top. Understand?"
He just nodded. I could see the fear in his eyes. But also excitement. And what I really didn't expect a tent formed in his jeans. That little fucker likes to be dominated. He's just hiding it behind this facade.
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I was horny, hell yeah I was. And I also wanted to enjoy being this buff for just a few minutes. I did some pull ups. It went so easily. His body is so amazing. Maybe I should hit the gym after we go back.
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Derek just sat shirtless on the bed, watching me lift myself up and down.
I got near him. The sweat drops rolling over my muscles. I took his hand and positioned it on my belt. He unbuckled it. SHIIIT this dick is huge. No wonder when Derek is such a masculine man.
"SUCK IT!" I said just as he said before. Only now, my voice was more manlier than his. He obeyed me, he wanted me to feel good and ge was doing such a great job. I thrusted my hips into his mouth as he was sucking. He choked many time. My body's gag reflex made it worse for him. Take that, that's for before
I took off my pants and he took off his. He turned around and got in position for me to enter him. I took the lube, put some on my hand, then his ass. Then on my new dick. Fuck, it's my first time jerking his dick. And it feels so good. I don't think I want to swap. But if I get my hands on the vial, I could swap with anyone. It would be cool to know what it's like to be Theo. He has a beautiful body.
My mind got back from daydreaming to fucking again. My hard pulsating dick in my hand ready over my hairy ass. I pushed, slowly, gently. I waited for him to get used to it. He moaned like a little bitch. While I waited for him to enjoy the pain I grabbed his dick. He was just as hard as I was. I took my other hand and grabbed him under his neck and took him close to me. My other hand still on his dick, jerking him, my own dick thrusting into him. He moaned. I kissed his neck and bit him a bit. I could feel my wolf teeth come out. But no, not the time
I accelerated. Thrusting more into him and jerking him twice as before. He wasn't moaninf, he was screaming out of pleasure now. And then it hit. Both of us. Be came at the same time. I came into him and ha came all over my bed. We panted, my dick still inside of him slowly getting flacid.
I pulled out. Laying myself down and he did so next to me on the bed.
"Well, that didn't work."
We just looked at each other, both wondering what we were gonna do.
But hey, atleast I get to be part of the pack with Scott now.
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A story from inbox that skipped a few others: Maybe a second part of the new alpha where stiles hires some witch to make him and derek swap bodies in order to improve the pack. Maybe even derek had a kink with being smaller and loves the new reality.
Sorry for taking so long, but don't worry. Your story is coming
Part 1:
Part 3:
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