#I mean all my hobbies are too straining for my wrists as well as my day job but knitting is straight up f u

[chornayadrakoshig]

Maybe I'll finally learn how to knit this year huh? On the fourth attempt?

[nctsjiho]

Your Fault

warnings: strong language, consumption of alchol, mention of death without actual death, very much angst

era: July 7th 2021

❀ NCT 127's 5th anniversary isn't a day to celebrate and be happy for everyone

To Doyoung:

“Happy 5th anniversary oppa!”

“I hope you and the boys are having a great time <3”

JiHo stared at her phone intently waiting for the “sent” at the bottom of her screen to turn into “read”. She had been staring at her phone like that for nearly an hour, yet nothing changed. The girl knew that the boys were busy, but somewhere she hoped that she’d hear from them. Besides the short “wished you could be with us” message she had received the evening before from Taeyong she hadn’t heard from anyone else. Of course JiHo was aware that the boys were busy, but was it a crime to feel left out and maybe want a phone call or something more than a “wished you could be with us” from anyone?

And so JiHo continued to stare at her phone, everything on the small screen getting progressively more blurry as time went on. Her eyes were straining, one almost pressed shut, the other slowly going cross-side. Her right hand, which wasn’t holding the phone, reached out to the glass bottle on her desk. A quick shake letting her know it was empty. So she reached for the other one, opening it skilfully with one hand – like she did with the other two bottles now empty on her desk – and bringing it up to her lips. “Must be nice hm~ Being an idol or whatever…”

“I’m glad you came over.” Sihyun, JiHo’s Esteem manager that lives with her, said as she grabbed the boy’s coat off his shoulders. The piece of clothing, along with his hair, slightly damp caused by the light drizzle outside. “JiHo’s been a bit sensitive and doesn’t let me in her room. She doesn’t want to talk to me at all.” Jaemin watched the woman’s face full of worry. He gave her a small reassuring smile and then glanced at the door leading to JiHo’s room. “I’ll try to talk to her.” Thanking Jaemin, Sihyun then excused herself, telling him she had to run some late night errands.

Not knowing what was happening behind the closed door of the bedroom, Jaemin knocked a few times. “Unnie~ Just leave me- leave me alone.” JiHo hiccupped between her words, her speech sounding a bit slurred. She had been drinking? JiHo?

Without a second thought Jaemin pushed the door open. A jumbled mess of protests escaped JiHo’s lips, but she froze in her chair as soon as her eyes locked with Jaemin. “What… are you doing here?” She muttered to the best of her abilities. “Coming to check up on you.” He neared the girl and poked at the bottles and the mess on her desk. “Clearly you need it.” His tone sounded very much disappointed and for a split second JiHo felt her heart ache, but she quickly turned defensive. “I do not!”

A sigh escaped deep from Jaemin’s chest and he pulled JiHo to sit on the edge of her bed next to him. “Since when do you drink?” It was quiet for a bit. JiHo looked at the bottle of the alcoholic beverage in her hand, swirling it around by circling her wrist and then started to giggle to herself. “A new hobby?” She turned to Jaemin, a big smile on her lips – however Jaemin could see the sadness behind it easily. “It’s fun. Feeling… Nothing! I can barely feel my… my lips.” Her body swayed from side to side prompting Jaemin to grab her by her shoulders and hold her in place. “It’s fun until you wake up with a hangover tomorrow.” He scoffed. “Can’t get a hangover if I don’t sleep.” She said, before turning to her desk. She then pointed at the box of another 9 bottles of alcohol next to it on the floor. “Or if I don’t stop drinking.” She grinned.

“Yah! What’s wrong with you?” Jaemin’s patience ran dry quickly. He just felt so furious seeing how badly JiHo was treating her own body. She never drank and now she was planning to drink 12 bottles of alcohol? Drinking herself straight into the hospital, and if it weren’t for Jaemin being here, maybe straight into her own grave. “This is strong alcohol! For all I know you can’t even handle it, so what made you decide to drink now huh?” He yelled, anger only rising watching the girl just stare at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Those same eyes turned to look at her laptop, located on the desk she sat at earlier. The NCT 127 online fanmeeting being streamed, muted.

Of course Jaemin knew it was NCT 127’s 5th anniversary, he knew it must’ve affected JiHo in some way, even if she kept insisting she was going to be fine and was happy for the boys. She even said that she wasn’t “part of the group since debut, so it wouldn’t even be my 5th anniversary” and everyone just had to nod and smile.

“Is that a reason to potentially drink yourself to death?” Jaemin poked her side – maybe a bit too harsh – to gain her attention again; she seemed to be zoning out every few seconds. “What else was I supposed to do? I’m tired of keeping things in.” She sneered at him and it was almost as if she didn’t drink anything. She sounded much more coherent than just a minute earlier. “Aren’t you doing just that though? Drinking on your own. Not letting Sihyun noona in? We keep telling you to talk to us, yet all you do is keep things in. The hyungs even took you out to do stuff and get your mind off things yet you get home and do the thing you always do.”

JiHo felt every drop of alcohol leave her system as she heard the somewhat condescending tone in her friend’s voice. “What the fuck? So this is my fault-“ “Kinda, yes! You just sit here feeling sorry for yourself while everyone is worried over you! We’re your friends for a reason JiHo. There are so many people who care for you, just start fucking talking when you feel down like this.”

The blood inside of JiHo’s veins started to boil and at the same time she felt tears pricking behind her eyes. “You think it’s that easy? What am I supposed to say? That I feel upset that I can’t be with 127 now? Okay. Then what about it? Me telling you this won’t change shit!” “At least you should stop lying and stop telling everyone you’re fine when you’re not! Why do you continue keeping things a secret from everyone?” Both JiHo and Jaemin’s chest rose and fell at a rapid pace. “But I guess you’re good at that anyway.” He added in a mumble.

Once the words registered in JiHo’s mind, the bottle that started to hover towards her lips was quickly forgotten. “What do you mean by that?” Jaemin just shrugged his shoulders and turned his gaze away from JiHo. “Jaemin? What do-“ “You were supposed to debut in 2016 with NCT U?” JiHo’s eyes widened and she pushed herself to stand up. “How’d you know-“ “Then they asked you to debut in 127? Also with us… In Dream?” “How do you know?” Was the only thing JiHo could say.

“Does it matter?” Jaemin yelled, standing up as well. “Why do you continue to keep secrets from us? Do you not trust us? Is that why you sit here alone? Drinking and crying alone.” The boy watched as JiHo stood in front of him wordlessly. He could see how his words were affecting her, but he wanted to be selfish for once. He wanted to let JiHo know how frustrating things were for him and his friends. He was well aware of how JiHo had her own worries and hardships, but if she never wanted to confide in anyone, then he was allowed to be mad right?

The only sound filling the room was both of their ragged breathing and the occasional shift from one foot to the other. The silence was almost deafening, a ringing shooting up JiHo’s clouded mind making her feel like she was going to lose it any second now. Her friend sending hurtful glares her way didn’t help ease the growing pain either.

“You’re right. I could’ve debuted in 2016, what about it?” JiHo whispered, afraid that her talking too loud would send surges of pain into her brain. “Why did you hide it from us? Why didn’t you say yes back then?” Jaemin interrogated her. “There was no reason to tell you if it didn’t happen. I didn’t debut so telling you I could’ve wouldn’t change a thing. I’m not in Dream, I didn’t debut in U and clearly now, I’m not in 127 either. Jaemin… It doesn’t matter anymore…” JiHo’s voice stayed as calm as possible.

“How long have you known Jaemin?” JiHo spoke up again as Jaemin didn’t say anything. She felt the tension grow exponentially, the pressure on her body and more noticeably her head increasing and bothering her more as well. “I heard it during that last meeting you had with Yebin noona and Mister Lee Soo Man…” JiHo let out a small chuckle, shaking her head in disbelief. “I guess we’re eavesdropping and keeping secrets from me as well.”

She brought the glass bottle still in her hands to her lips, throwing her head back, to down as much of the liquid as possible. Before she could finish it all in one go, Jaemin gripped the bottle and pulled it away from her. “It’s not the same, JiHo!”

The liquid rushed from between JiHo’s lips, making a wet patch on her grey sweatpants. She could feel her throat and lungs burning as she coughed, caused by the alcohol going down her windpipe instead.

Jaemin watched her with concern painting his features, his hand slowly caressing her back hoping it would ease her violent coughs. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He whispered and JiHo gave him a small nod as her body calmed down.

The two 00 liners stayed like that for a while, with Jaemin’s eyes burning at the back of JiHo’s downturned head. Even after JiHo’s body stopped shaking violently, Jaemin’s concern continued to grow. It was only when he noticed the drops, which only could be tears, fall onto her sweatpants and create even more wet spots, that he decided to step in.

Jaemin’s hand securely gripped JiHo’s shoulder and he pulled her up to face him. A gasp left the boy’s mouth as he watched large tears spill from his friend’s eyes. “Ji…” It proved incredibly difficult to speak when he was faced with a situation he wasn’t ready to deal with. Maybe Jaemin shouldn’t have confronted her the way he did. Maybe acting like everything was fine wouldn’t have caused him to witness JiHo at possibly the worst she has felt.

It became a full minute of Jaemin staring into JiHo’s pain- and tear-filled eyes, feeling like he could drown in them himself, before a loud pained sob brought him to reality. The sudden jolt of JiHo’s body forward made Jaemin act quickly and pulled the girl into his chest. His hand, just as quickly, found its way into JiHo’s slightly tangled hair.

“I’m… sor- so sorry.” JiHo sobbed into his chest, tears soaking through even the thicker material of the boy’s jumper. Jaemin could feel his sweater start to stick against his chest, yet what felt more uncomfortable than the damp piece of clothing was the feeling of JiHo’s body shaking in his hold.

As best as he could, Jaemin tried to soothe JiHo. Almost like taking care of a crying toddler, he swayed the girl from side to side. His lips were pressed against the shell of JiHo’s ear as Jaemin whispered affirmations into her skin. “Don’t apologise... Stop apologising.”

“I’m only bringing the team down-” “Shh JiHo. Stop that.” He told her, as his fingers continued to comb through her hair, slowly and carefully detangling it along the way. JiHo pressed her eyes tighter as even more tears spilled from her cheeks and pushed herself closer into Jaemin’s grasp.

Mouth agape, a sob that was building up in his own chest was threatening to fall from Jaemin’s own lips. “You don’t deserve any of this JiHo, you only deserve the best.” JiHo only shook her head, but didn’t dare to speak again. “You do... You really do.”

The night in the capital of South-Korea was never really that dark. Lights always seemed to find their way past the pulled back blinds of any building that wasn’t directly blocked by another one due to bad city planning. So even during the darkest time of day, even when all the lights inside have been dimmed, somehow, it was still light enough to see inside.

So when Jaemin pulled back to look at JiHo’s face, her eyes still tightly pressed shut - which pained him immensely - Jaemin could see the light reflecting off of her wet cheeks.

Feeling two hands being placed on her burning cheeks, JiHo finally decided to open her eyes again. A few more tears rolled over her cheeks onto Jaemin’s thumbs, but luckily no new ones seemed to form. “I’m sorry for everything, all this drama. It’s my fault.” Jaemin shook his head and pulled the girl back, this time to hide his own tears that were starting to form. “Please stop apologising, it’s not your fault.”

“But-” JiHo sighed, her arms found their way around Jaemin’s small waist. “I hate that it’s always about me. I don’t want to be this cliche ‘emotional girl with so many problems and everyone has to pay attention to her problems’. I don’t want that. I don’t want to burden you guys with that, but I also don’t want that kind of attention. I know people already hate me for being in a boy’s group. I don’t want my stupid problems to be the only thing that people assiociate me with NCT.”

“Your problems are not stupid JiHo. And though I understand what you’re saying, I think it’s worse to keep it in. If anything, keeping it in just makes us worry about you more and may get you more attention. JiHo I know things suck right now, and I can’t imagine how you’re feeling with everything going on right now, but… Please just talk to us when things are bothering you. We all love you.”

At those last words JiHo loudly sniffled back some stray tears. She pressed herself into Jaemin’s warm embrace and softly nodded her head. “From now on I will. I promise. And…” JiHo looked up at Jaemin, sending him a small smile that he gratefully reciprocated. “I love you guys too. You’re all I have here and that’s enough to make me stay.”

Jaemin’s hand resumed with his previous ministrations. A deep sigh left his lips as he rested his head atop of JiHo’s. “Everything will be just fine.” Jaemin pressed a kiss against JiHo’s hair. “As long as we stay together everything will be just fine.”

[stardancerluv]

A Bad Day

Summary: You’re having a bad, Roman is having a bad day.

Warning: Knife!play, Dommy!Roman

You were sketching at your easel working on a new desk for Two-Face. It was truly labor of art. It had to make both sides of him happy. This was your seventh draft. You had not liked anything you had come up with yet.

The buzzer bounced off the wall of your studio. That alone is one reason why you were really considering Roman’s offer. Your studio would be nice and quiet, well except when he’d be angry. The idea made you smirk. Damn, he really could be hot when he was angry.

Walking over to the door, you straightened your ponytail. Opening the door you were greeted by a pleasant enough guy. “Yes?”

“Delivery, for a Miss Y/L/N?”

“Oh! Yes! I almost forgot. Let me open the big door.”

“Certainly.”

Finally, your new fabrics had arrived. You were so excited. Pushing the button the door began to clank and squeak as it rolled back, then it stopped.

“Seriously?” you muttered.

You pushed the other button. It screeched closed. Pacing for a moment, you took a breath. Going back over you pushed the button again. It didn’t budge.

“Oh my god.” You muttered.

You opened the side door again, leaving it open you went over to where the guy waited.

“It’s not budging, I’m sorry.”

“No worries.”

Together with some heaving and a few grunts, you managed to get all your bolts of fabric into your studio.

You leaned against the wall to catch your breath.

He took his hat off and wiped his brow. “If you’re gonna date someone like Roman Sionis you should at least have him pay for the upkeep of your hobbies.”

You stopped leaning. “What did you say?” You plastered a smile and took a step closer to where he stood.

“He should be supporting his girls’ hobbies more. The other one at least he showcases by letting her perform on Friday nights. You haven’t redone the look of his club, have you?”

Your heart stilled and the anger began to burn. “First of, Dinah is a girl he rescued from the streets. She loves to sing so he lets her.” You stepped closer. “I am his only girl. And this,” You gestured to your studio. “This is mine, I did it for years before I even knew who he was. So it’s not a fucking hobby.”

“Well damn. Looks like his mouth is rubbing off on you. Not such a sweet little artist, are you?” He took a step closer and easily cast a shadow over you.

“You know, I was grateful that we got that done so fast and was going to give you a tip for your troubles. But you just lost that. And I will make sure you can never step foot into Roman’s club.”

The man chuckled. “I don’t need your damn charity. And we’ll see about that, he probably wouldn’t take kindly knowing you now decide who goes in and out of his club.” And then he left.

You were so angry, you could taste it. You practically ran to where you kept your phone.

You opened a text to Roman... But then thought better of it. You still needed to make peace with Zsasz.

To Knifeboy: Can you send a driver to pick me up at my studio, please?

You should change his tag, but at the moment you found it still really funny so it was going to stay.

Knifeboy: Are you ok???

To Knifeboy: Yes! Just in no mood to try and get a taxi to the penthouse.

Knifeboy: Roman’s busy

To Knifeboy: I am coming to unwind in the hot tub.

Knifeboy: All right. See you shortly.

To Knifeboy: You’re coming?”

Knifeboy: Yes.

You swallowed.

To Knifeboy: All right.

******

You grabbed your purse. You stuffed your bathing suit into your bag. You already had a few things there. That was all you needed.

Knifeboy: Here.

To Knifeboy: All right.

He was already leaning against the car smoking a cigarette, when you came out. You knew Roman would only let him do that in the alleyway so you took a little longer locking up.

Seeing you, he took a long drag and flicked it away.

“Oh, you didn’t have to.”

He exhaled towards the sky. “It’s all right.” He went and held the door to the back of the rolls open for you.

“Zsasz, it’s ok. I can ride in front with you.”

His eyes narrowed. “Boss won’t like that.”

You shrugged. “Listen, it’s ok. I really don’t want to be chauffeured by you.”

His eyes really narrowed then and his mouth became a grim line.

“Not like that.” You sighed, trying to not rain your anger on him. You swallowed. “You may be Roman’s right-hand man but you don’t have or well, I don’t know. Right now, I’d rather you not.”

He shrugged. “All right, just don’t tell Roman. He’s already in a mood.”

So he wasn’t having a good day either. You knew to try and avoid. Both of you annoyed at the least probably wasn’t good.

“Seriously?”

“He wants his princess- I mean, girl treated right.”

You finally slid into the front seat. You looked at Zsasz, as he settled behind the wheel. “He calls me princess?”

Zsasz looked like he got caught for a moment. He pressed his lips together. “Sometimes.”

It warmed your heart, you were going to have to talk to Roman about that.

“Well no worries, I won’t say anything.” You just remembered then, you wanted to turn on your voicemail and not be bothered for the rest of the day.

“Knifeboy?” Zsasz then started the car and began heading back.

You instantly flushed and looked over. “Umm, yes.” You looked away and then back at him. “I’m sorry.”

A short laugh came from him. It was followed by a smile you only saw when him and Roman toasted to a good acquisition. “It’s not a lie, well I’m a man but I do like my knives.” He smirked and eased into the traffic.

“True.” Well, you didn’t know how much he did. You knew he always had one. So you changed it.

“I changed it.” You held up your screen.

He chuckled again, still something you were not used to. “Better.”

“Yeah.” You smiled.

*****

He pulled into the alley. “Damn, wait I probably should have gone into the garage.”

“Wait a sec.” You unbuckled and threw your bag into the back seat. Easily you moved and managed to climb into the back.

“Did you really just do that?”

“Yup.” You shrugged. “I know how much he likes to look down from that one window.”

“He does.” Zsasz got out then and went around and opened the door.

“Thank you.” You smiled brightly.

“Nah, thank you.”

******

Your anger was still churning in your stomach but today perhaps things would be the beginning of things being better between the two of you.

******

The elevator dinged and distantly, you heard Roman bellowing into the phone. Sometimes you wished you could do that too. Well, actually you had a little and that felt good. But it wasn’t good enough.

“Hobby.” You muttered, rolling your eyes. Stretching, reaching as high as you could, a content sigh came from you as you walked into the bedroom. Quickly you shed your shorts and t-shirt, you left them on your side of the bed. You slipped on your bathing suit. You smiled when you caught sight of how cute the ruffles and polka dots looked.

You went over to the bar and poured yourself a drink. You drank it. You poured yourself another one.

“What are you doing here?”

Your heart lifted, but the edge made you pause. You closed your eyes and then opened them.

Turning, you smiled. It felt so fake so you dropped it. You never wanted to be fake to Roman. “Hi.” You said softly. “I was having a bad day.” You drew closer, despite seeing the strain in his face.

“Oh.” The rasp remained but it had turned flat. Inwardly, that made you wince.

His eyes were dark, there was barely any blue. A shadow kissed his face, you honestly wished your lips were. His inky black hair was immaculate and so were his shirt and slacks. Glancing down, you noticed his gloves matched. He must have been out and came back already. You looked back up at him.

“So I came over to soak in the hot tub.” You shrugged. “Maybe drag you away from the assholes of Gotham.” You finally smiled as you added that bit a little more brightly. “Want me to make you a drink?”

“Yes.”

You smiled and nodded. You went around the bar and sizing up how he looked and acted, you knew what he needed. at least you hoped you did.

You grabbed a few ice cubes and let them clink into the glass. Grabbing his favorite scotch you poured two drinks worth. Standing up, you turned and gasped. He was right there.

“Oop!” You made a soft sound as you saw him right there. You held the drink out to him. “Here you go.” His gloved fingers grazed yours as he took the glass.

He took a sip. “Those assholes is what gives us, me all this.”

You swallowed, correcting himself felt like a slap across the face. Not something you needed at the moment, especially after the delivery man. Though you knew it was true. His family didn’t give him shit. He was the one who created and maintained his slice of Gotham.

He gestured to you. “Gave me you.” His lips curled as he finished his scotch.

That made you feel cheap.

He had promised that being his girl, could be rough, even unpleasant at times, but he would never make you feel cheap. He had managed to finally do that. Your anger finally erupted.

“That’s not fucking true and you know it.” You looked him right in the eye. But then you looked away. This is not what you wanted, you brushed past him and went back to the bedroom.

Gloved fingers wrapped around your arm and turned you around. “Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving.” You wiggle free, and sat down on the edge of the bed. Twisting, you reached for your shirt.

“No, you’re not.”

You turned back. “I’m not?”

He nodded.

“Well, for the first time since we’ve known each other, you managed to make me feel cheap. And Roman, today was not a good day to do that.” You swallowed, actually saying it made it hurt more.

“You’re not cheap.”

Sometimes you were surprised by his strength. Moments later, you found yourself in the middle of the bed and you were under him. You wiggled, unsuccessfully.

“Stop.”

You did. In your anger and hurt that churned, arousal began to blossom. Which made your anger stronger but it also made your need for him grow.

He grabbed your wrists and held them above your head. You could not bite back the moan that came from deep within you.

His lips twitched. “What I meant was," His voice was tight. It was as if he could cough at any moment. You knew he was not one to ever want to explain himself. "It’s because I deal with those assholes, I can supply a place where you can come to hide and I can take care of you.”

“Oh.”

You moaned for real then, when his lips met yours. His crisp aftershave and the taste of the scotch on his lips made you shake. You felt him smirk and pull back.

“There’s my baby.” His other hand took ahold of your wrist.

You wiggled. “Roman.” You whimpered. You flexed your fingers, they tingled. You wanted to touch him.

“Don’t move…”

The sound of metal scraping metal filled the room. You watched as he had brought a knife from his slacks pocket and opened it. The blade was bared.

“Now if you move I might nick you, and that is something I don’t want to do.”

You nodded. “Ok.”

The look in his eyes, the way he straddled you, the gloves and now the knife. Desperately, you wanted to rub up against him. The taste and feel of the kiss was still fresh. You wanted to do much more.

He cut the middle of your bikini top, your arousal for him was already evident there. Your nipples were erect and dying to feel his lips, the shadow on his cheeks. Honestly anything at this point but they wanted attention. Finally he let go of your wrists and he cut each side of the bottom. Moving and tugging he freed you of it. He gestured to the top. “Get rid of that.”

You did. Now you were completely naked under him. You watched as he closed the knife and tossed it away.

He grabbed your wrists, sliding them above you again. It pulled a whimper from you. His lips once again consumed anything else you could have thought of. He moved against you, it almost immediately made you open your legs to him. His hard-on was right up against his slacks.

“That’s my good girl.” He said against your lips.

“Please.” You could taste how much you wanted him.

He cocked his head to the side. “Please what?”

You gave him a look. “Daddy.” You squirmed under him, as he then pulled off his t-shirt.

“What? I know what I need, but you? I need you to tell me.”

Daddy,” You finally said breathless. “Fuck me.”

“That’s what I needed to hear.”

He moved and as he braced himself above you, he easily freed himself. He slid very easily into you, a moan that sounded like him calling you baby, finally poured from his lips.

You wrapped yourself around him with ease. You gave yourself up to the sensations, you surrendered yourself to him. You melted under him as you both moved together, as you wrapped your arms around him. His lips, his scruff, how he felt sliding in and out made sounds just pour out of you in pure abandon. It wasn’t long before your body tightened, you were already so close.

You kissed him and arched against him, as you felt yourself on the cusp of cumming.

“Daddy, please.” You met his now stormy blue eyes.

“Cum for me, baby. Daddy wants to feel it, daddy wants to hear it.”

You did. You shook, your grasp tightened. You clung onto him. “Daddy...” You moaned.

His kiss was hungry, wanton. “Baby.” He rasped in the most wonderful way. And then you felt as he came hard in you. Feeling it made you actually cum again. It shook you and brought you even closer to him.

“That’s my baby.” He was out of breath.

You loved feeling that hot breath of his on your body.

******

“Perhaps, we should fuck more often when we’re angry.” He chuckled when you nudged him. Just his words alone made your desire for him blossom all over again.

You smiled though. “Not a bad idea.” And you shared a kiss. As you looked at him, the edge his anger gave him was not there. It was the Roman you only ever saw when it was just the two of you. It made your heart swell. “Though as your princess...” you met his eyes playfully. “Yeah, Zsasz let that slip.” You explained.

“Well, you are. You are my princess. I love protecting you and taking care of you.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” You nestled close. As you felt and heard his heart beat, you closed your eyes.

******

“That’s him.”

Hours later sitting beside him in the club, you were dressed in a sweet dress he had decided to surprise you with. You felt so good. You felt as bubbly as your drink.

Roman gestured and Zsasz came over. “Grab that guy. Scare him but keep him for me. I want to talk to him later.”

You grabbed Roman’s arm. “Roman?”

He looked down at you. One side of his mouth twitched up. “What? No one talks to my princess like that.” And he looked at Zsasz.

Who then had a touch of unease hit his face. “It’s all right. It’s not a lie.” He told him.

“He’ll know never to treat you or anyone else like that again.”

“Whatever you think is best. I had told him he wouldn’t be welcome here.”

He rose an eyebrow. “Did you?”

You nodded.

“Good, he isn’t. Zsasz, get him out right now. No waiting. I want him to know I back up what she said. I’ll be there in a few hours.”

You smiled, as you watched Zsasz grab him.

You looked up at Roman. “I will always take care of you.”

“Oh, Roman.” You reached up loving the feel of his scruffy cheek and you gave him a soft kiss. Which you were happy he reciprocated. He usually wasn’t one to do big shows of affection, but at that moment it was just the two of you.

@spn-obsessed-dean @vintagemichelle91 @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @ewamode @zodiyack @angel98624 @frenchgirlinlondon @emyliabernstein @thepeachreads @nebulastarr @itsknife2meetu @omghappilyuniquebouquetlove @poe-kadot26 @babydoll97-blog1 @hazel-nuss @vcat55 @feelthemadnessinside @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @starwarsslytherin @professionalclown @chogisss @shantellorraine @xxinvisiblexx @blondekel77 @saphic-stories @drarrylov3r @i-cant-hear-you16 @deadlymistress24 @yesqueenofthelight @generallj @thebeckyjolene @blackmasque @mrskenobi19

[smiting-finger]

alive, and back on my usual nonsense

So after getting preoccupied with other things and temporarily falling off the face of the planet (for like an entire year ಥωಥ), I was thinking about the kdrama Mr. Queen (which I've been meaning to watch), and the Chinese novel it was based on (太子妃升职记, which I read a few years ago and very much enjoyed), and this popped out--

Wei Wuxian’s first thought is that there seem to be an awful lot of female voices around, for a bedroom inhabited by two men. Did he drink too much last night? It wouldn’t be the first time he’s overindulged on a trip to the town and woken up in a strange place the next morning, but that kind of problem has been cropping up a lot less frequently now that he has Lan Zhan around to ferry him home.

(Sometimes literally, on his back. His broad, strong--)

But perhaps Lan Zhan had gotten drunk, too? In which case, Wei Wuxian should consider them lucky to have woken up surrounded by people, rather than chickens, rabbits or, notably, on one occasion, mounds of resentful cabbages.

The chatter around him continues, pitched high with youth and - is that anxiety? It's interspersed with the odd interjection from what sounds like one (calmer, if more exasperated) older woman and a man. Probably not a nunnery, he decides. Perhaps the back rooms of a pleasure house? Although, if that’s the case, this amount of excitement over a mere two men is honestly a little excessive.

He reaches out tentatively, but pats all the way across the mattress to the edge without finding his usual bedfellow. A much less tentative venture towards the other side produces similar results.

Hm.

Wei Wuxian cracks open an eye and heaves himself upright, absent-mindedly scratching at his (unusually soft - as much as he hates to admit it, maybe Nie Huaisang has a point about drinking less and training more) side and squinting into the too-bright light until the person-shaped blur in front of him sharpens into focus.

“Niang niang!” a complete stranger cries tearfully, clutching at the sleeve of his other arm. “You’re awake! Thank Heavens, you’re awake! Physician Liu, quick, quick!”

A cushion is produced from somewhere and thrust expectantly between Wei Wuxian and the elderly man sitting at his bedside.

He sighs. It’s probably not worth fighting.

Wei Wuxian smacks his upturned wrist onto the unusually lavish brocade and is only a little surprised when it’s covered by a cloth before the physician reaches to take it.

(Do they think he’s diseased?)

((Is he diseased?!))

(((Is that why Lan Zhan isn’t here?)))

He looks at the row of young girls (+ 1 matron) kneeling along the wall to his left, dressed identically to the first and also now beginning to prostrate themselves and wail about “Niang niang!” and blessings and deserving to die.

Not a pleasure house, then.

He looks around at the rest of the richly-furnished room and its intricately-carved wooden furniture, the wealth of jade carvings and the obscene amount of gold that's gilding … everything (so shiny). The opulence of it all would put even Jin Guangshan to shame.

So, not a nunnery either.

He looks down at the small hands, delicate wrists and - he clutches one abruptly just to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him - breasts of the body that he certainly was not inhabiting yesterday.

“Well,” he says aloud, unable to stop himself from wincing at the high, soft voice that emerges despite fully expecting it. “It’s not the first time this has happened.”

===

Two days, one diagnosis of shock-induced memory loss and some discreet enquiries (as well as some indiscreet enquiries) later, this is what he knows about his situation:

He’s the main consort (unfavoured) of the crown prince of whatever place he’s landed in;

Three days ago, following a disagreement with one Consort Yun (favoured, main competitor for husband’s affections);

In the course of this disagreement, both women somehow fell into a palace lake and mostly-drowned;

Consort Yun (admittedly quite pretty) was revived at the scene, but Wei Wuxian took a full day to “miraculously” recover;

Angered by the unseemly behaviour of her daughters-in-law, particularly upon learning that the Crown Princess’s first act upon waking was to stumble upon a chance meeting between the Crown Prince and Consort Yun in one of the pleasure gardens and bodily throw herself between them (a tactical error on Wei Wuxian’s part. He’d been trying to throw himself over the battlements to freedom, but he’d gotten lost and scaled the wrong wall), the Empress (Crown Prince’s political opponent, not particularly fond of either consort) grounded both of them to their respective residences for a month, with no visitors allowed.

Which brings him to his current position, feeding the fish in his personal pond as an excuse to be alone. Not truly alone - he shoots a pointed glance at the maids watching anxiously from the other side of the courtyard - because he’s apparently a “suicide risk” now (and honestly, yes, he’d meant to throw himself off that roof, but he hadn’t meant to die - it’s simply that this new body’s cultivation level is not what he’s come to expect even from Mo Xuanyu’s modest abilities), but alone enough to start planning his next move.

Direct escape is out - he didn’t have a plan for what to do once he’d gotten out anyway, and honestly he’s better-resourced for finding out how he got here in the Palace than anywhere else, so it’s no great loss.

“What do you think, Master Fish?” Wei Wuxian asks a gold and black spotted koi with particularly sage-looking whiskers. “Shall I just stay here for the time being?”

It’s not a terrible place to be for the time being, he must admit, throwing more food into the water and watching the fish swarm. Being grounded, he’s at no risk from the Crown Prince’s amorous attentions for a month (a salute of gratitude to the Empress for the inadvertent protection). And thanks to Consort Yun and her voluptuous figure (and if the Crown Prince is more partial to that than the Zhao Feiyan style of willowy fragility that Wei Wuxian seems to have inherited, who can honestly blame him?), he’s at no great risk from them after that, either (a salute of gratitude to the unknowing sister-in-arms, taking one - and hopefully a great many more after that - for the team).

According to his maid (sleeve-clutcher extraordinaire, who even now is boring two holes into his skull with her woeful gaze from across the way while he does nothing more suspicious than scatter another handful of feed towards some latercomer fish), the body he’s inhabiting comes from a powerful military lineage. In particular, her father is (was?) a powerful general who currently commands more than half the nation’s military forces and has the absolute trust of the Emperor. So that more or less keeps him safe from the machinations of the majority of the nest of vipers in this palatial cesspit.

That just leaves the Empress, who - if his servants and the smuggled letters from the Original Goods’s mother (a salute of gratitude to the worthy woman for spelling it out so that even such an interloper as he can understand) are anything to go by - would definitely kill him to damage the Crown Prince’s political standing or throw any sort of roadblock in the way of him from becoming Emperor.

Less immediately - if his secret informants are anything to go by (a salute of gratitude to the resourceful host for cultivating such a valuable resource if not her dantian) - it also leaves the Crown Prince, who, upon cementing his power as Emperor, would also definitely kill his current Crown Princess in order to wedge his beloved Consort Yun into the Empress role.

Really, the only road to any sort of security for someone in his position is to raise the next Imperial heir, outlive the Original Goods’s faithless husband and become the Empress Dowager.

Hopefully Wei Wuxian will be long gone by then, but if leaving means the Original Goods will return (from … Mo Xuanyu’s body? The Ether? Or???) - well, he doesn’t want to repay her hospitality by leaving her house in a mess, so to speak. So he’ll try to set her on that career path, if he can.

But that’s an aspirational goal. First, he has to not-die before he can find out how to get himself home.

And find out how to get himself home.

If getting himself home is even possible.

Wei Wuxian dumps the rest of the fish food in the water and yells.

(It startles the maids, the fish and the poor eunuch the Crown Prince has sent as a spy into falling out of the tree he’s been hiding in and into the prickly bushes below.)

===

The problem with “staying for the time being” is … well, how interminably boring it is. The approved list of hobbies for an Imperial consort seems to consist of: eating (but not too much), sleeping (but not too much), embroidery (which he can’t do), reading (but only texts on female virtue and the occasional terrible novel), playing music (but not the flute), conversing with his maids (who are very sweet, but are all like, 12) and walking in the gardens (which he’s not allowed to do).

Honestly, it’s no wonder all the consorts turn to scheming and murder.

It only takes a week of confinement for him to snap and sneak himself out for a nighttime adventure, setting off to explore the grounds and see … a night-blooming flower, a ghost, a rat, he’ll take pretty much anything at this point.

In the end, he finds none of these things, but the walking is still pretty nice, and he even hears the faint sounds of a guqin wafting over from one of the other consorts’ residences. (He should probably learn who lives where at some point, but it’s not exactly a priority. What’s he going to do with the information when he can only visit during the nighttime? Peep?) When Wei Wuxian wanders closer, the notes resolve themselves into the familiar strains of Flowing Waters, and his breath catches on a sudden surge of longing to hear the same song, played by a different set of fingers.

(First played on a familiar guqin and then, later, accompanied by soft humming between soft, worn sheets, played across the edges of Wei Wuxian’s ribs, along the dip of his spine, and finally lower, into--)

((Is Lan Zhan thinking about him?))

(((Is Lan Zhan looking for him?)))

Stumbling blindly on, he’s so caught up in missing Lan Zhan that he misses the first few stanzas of the next piece, and it isn’t until the music starts to rise in a familiar refrain that he freezes.

He knows that song.

He’s one of the only two people who know that song, which is in fact how he got caught out the last time he found himself in a farce of an identity charade, by the only other person who knows that song, who must be - who must be -

Lan Zhan, his blood sings in his ears as he takes off in a dead run towards the source of the playing. Up ahead of him, small courtyard glows softly with the light of the only burning lamp in their vicinity. Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan-

He scrambles up the wall with the ease of a lifetime’s practice, using bloody-minded determination to make up for the lack of muscle memory.

“Lan Zhan,” he yelps, forgetting to whisper in his excitement as he flings himself over the top and into the branches of a convenient, wall-side tree. “Lan Zhan, it’s me, I-”

This is, naturally, when his foot slips. He manages to catch hold of a branch, but his tender hands and puny wrists, unused to holding up anything heavier than a chicken leg, fail to maintain their hold through his weight, and he tumbles down the trunk into a sad puddle of fabric on the ground.

“Lan Zhan,” he gasps, fighting to untangle himself from the ridiculous train that, admittedly, made a considerable contribution to cushioning his fall. He clambers up onto his hands and knees--

--and looks straight into the wide-eyed stare of Consort Yun.

===

“I cannot believe,” Wei Wuxian growls, palming the ample softness of one exposed breast with one hand, while shoving the other deeper into the many (too many) layers of fabric between them and between Lan Zhan’s splayed legs, “that after everything that’s happened, you’re still taller than me.”

Lan Zhan huffs a laugh that turns quickly into a moan, and Wei Wuxian swallows it, smothers Lan Zhan’s gasping breaths with his own parted lips and sucks them greedily down even as he coaxes out more with twisting fingers here, another tug to Lan Zhan’s poor, abused nipple there.

He slides his fingers back between slick folds and then upwards again, pushing in and out in a few languid strokes before curling them to make Lan Zhan arch harder against the wall behind him, tilt his head back and expose a beautifully vulnerable stretch of neck to Wei Wuxian's teeth.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan murmurs, and his voice is different, the shape of his lips is different, but the way Wei Wuxian’s name fits inside his mouth (tender, beloved), the way he tucks the flyaway strands of hair behind Wei Wuxian’s ear, the look in his eyes when their gazes meet (warm, open, knowing) are the same, same, same.

===

===

I am entirely too lazy to write the rest of it, but afterwards they regroup and it turns out LWJ has been in this world for exactly one more day than WWX, having woken up in Consort Yun’s body when she was “revived”. Consort Yun is the daughter of a high-ranking Minister in the Treasury or something, so Lan Zhan been using his new position as the daughter of a ~scholarly family~ to build a reputation for being really into Buddhist scripture, and eventually he’s going to request to be allowed to go to a nearby Temple to attain some virtuous brownie points for the Imperial family via prayer as his penitence.

That there’s also an elderly monk living there who’s got a reputation for being super good with the divine mysteries and spiritual lore about curses and whatnot is totally immaterial, if Lan Zhan happens to run into that guy, it’ll be a total coincidence, yeah.

So WWX also starts on the divine penitence route, and if everyone thinks it’s because the Crown Princess refuses to be outdone by Consort Yun, then even better, and two weeks into confinement they wear the Empress down into letting them make the trip, and when they get there, turns out the monk is Nie Huaisang.

(NHS: “OH THANK GOD, I’ve done the research but the lynchpin of this mess is definitely somewhere in the Palace and I could not for the life of me figure out a way to get in.”

WWX: “That's nice, but seriously, how come you got to stay a man?”

NHS: “My friend, I may be a man, but my balls are currently swinging somewhere around my ankles.”

WWX: “...show me.”

And LWJ is like “NO.” except WWX can tell by the look in his eye that he sort of wants to see, too).

So they return to the Palace and WWX whirls into one of their morning audiences with the Empress, distraught about a ~dream from the ancestors~ where they warned him about disrupted ley lines or accumulated resentment or an offended minor god that needs investigation by someone, and “How convenient, because we met just the guy!” And the Empress looks like she was Done Five Years Ago, but the Empress Dowager, who’s old and doddery, is like “oh no, you must bring him!” and the Empress mutters “to fucking what, offend some major gods and really do the job properly?” and that’s how they find out the Empress is Jiang Cheng.

In the meantime, the confinement edict expires and WWX+LWJ are allowed to return to their regular programming, which means that as the legal wife, WWX can continuously summon LWJ to his residence for increasingly tenuous and spurious reasons. The best thing is, it’s not even out of character for the Crown Princess, who used to regularly summon Consort Yun to subject her to not-so-veiled barbs and petty torments. So WWX summons LWJ, and then immediately expels both their entourages from the room, instructing that no one is to enter on pain of death.

So LWJ’s maids are gnashing their teeth helplessly while all sorts of piteous moans, pained gasps and the occasional scream emanate from behind the closed door, and when their mistress finally emerges there are no marks on her body, but she’s weak-kneed and having trouble walking straight, so who knows what kind of terrible tortures the Crown Princess has visited upon her.

The Crown Prince obviously hears about this, so he bursts in one day without warning, only to find the two sitting together, the Crown princess’s arms around Consort Yun’s waist, her cheek pillowed on one heaving bosom, and although she’s smiling besottedly at him now, he could have sworn that he felt killing intent being directed at him only a second ago? And to tell the truth, he’s not really in love Consort Yun either, it’s all an act to keep the two consorts (and their families) pitted in a power struggle against each other until he can finally outmanoeuvre the Empress and cement his position as heir to the throne (and also to protect his actual favourite, a third consort who’s a nondescript nobody with no political backing). So the fact that “It was all a misunderstanding, we’re friends now,” his Crown Princess says sweetly (and did she … rub her cheek against his Consort’s chest? Must be his imagination) is not the worst thing (at least neither of them/their families can be enlisted by the Empress in support of her son, and if they’re caught up with Being Besties, then at least they’re not bullying his actual favourite), but for some reason he still feels kind of … threatened? Like someone’s making moves on his wife, which is absurd because they’re both his wives, but the vibes he gets from the first one in particular are kind of … off?

In any case, the crew solve the mystery, find the lynchpin object (which turns out to be a jade dildo belonging to one of the Emperor’s favoured consorts because of course it is), and wake up in their real bodies, in their real world, to a very apologetic hermit-inventor-cultivator whose property they stumbled onto while pursuing a resentful beast. Turns out they triggered the glamour/enchantment/psychic maze world he created as a security system because, “I just didn’t want to risk people getting into my stuff, you know? I’ve got some things that could be very dangerous in the wrong hands”. WWX is like “oh yeah, for sure” and JC is like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR SURE? HOW IS THIS AN UNDERSTANDABLE RESPONSE, IF YOU’RE AFRAID PEOPLE WILL TOUCH YOUR SHIT THEN JUST ENCHANT SOME FUCKING WARRIOR GOLEMS LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.”

[luxuriq]

Cold | Alpha!Hanzo & Alpha!Genji

> NS/FW warning < | > NON-CON WARNING <

Part 2 [coming soon]

Summary: On a cold night, an Omega takes shelter in a garden shed of a mighty estate. Little does she know that the owners are still awake.

Words: 5,123

A/N: Why is it that some of my fav kinks have to be popular in a fanfic trope that I generally dislike. (ノωヽ) Anyways, this is my first attempt at writing abo, let me know how I did. c:

❀ — ❀  — ❀

The sky was heavy with clouds, the moon and the stars hidden, making the night appear much darker. The sound of rain falling and the rustling of leaves blocked out any other noises. Her breath fogged – it was unusually cold for late spring.

She pulled her coat tighter around herself as she ran down the empty street, hugging the wall fence like a shadow. She tried to suppress the shudders, but her clothes were almost entirely soaked through and the chill of the night was becoming really sharp. Moreover, the rain was getting stronger. She had to find shelter soon or risk hypothermia.

A batch of trees materialized out of the darkness ahead of her. Their branches reached over the wall fence, entwining with branches of the trees on the other side of the wall. That sparked an idea in her head. She’d been following this fence for a while now and she knew that the main compound building of this estate was all the way on the other side. Meaning this area here had to be a backyard. Hopefully, the owners were keen on gardening and had some kind of a shed back there.

She adjusted her backpack straps a little and swung onto one of the lower branches. The wood was slippery and her fingers almost numb from the cold so it was slow going, but she eventually managed to reach the height of the wall and peek over it. She strained her eyes to see through the dark of the deserted garden and— there! Luck was on her side. There was indeed a shed at the end of a gravel path coming from the direction of a huge mansion that was a pretty safe distance away.

She was well aware of the fact that this was risky. But her body was aching from the cold and there was a very slim chance of some rich and pretentious owner of this mansion deciding to garden at such a late hour on a rainy night. And the low trees with easy to reach branches on the estate’s side of the fence would provide a great escape route should anything go wrong.

She climbed down the branch, over the wide wall fence and dropped down into the garden. She silently landed in a crouch and sneaked through the neatly cut bushes and small trees towards the shed, ignoring the lingering feeling of dread. Her life was risky enough just because of the way she was born – there was really no need of increasing that risk by taking shelter in a garden that most certainly belonged to a powerful Alpha. And yet here she was, freezing cold and in desperate need to get dry.

After she slipped through the door, finally protected from the wind and downpour that just began, she only felt relief. Therefore, she needed a moment to process what she was seeing. There were some gardening tools in one corner, but most of the shed was filled with archery targets, bows, arrows and wooden swords.

A new wave of anxiety flooded her, but she tried to reason with it. Kyudo and kenjutsu were quite popular, especially among more traditionally oriented people. Maybe their hobby wasn’t gardening, but archery and sword-fighting – it didn’t really matter. All of these things are better performed during the day and when it’s  not raining, so no reason for anyone to come in here during the night. And tomorrow, she will be gone before sunrise.

She picked the far corner where she was hidden behind some archery targets that conveniently obstructed the view. Taking off her wet coat, she hung it to the back of one of the targets, where it could hopefully dry until tomorrow. The hoodie underneath was mostly dry, as well as a small blanket in her waterproof backpack. Her jeans were a different matter, cold wet stains uncomfortable against her skin, but she decided against taking them off. It felt too much like exposing herself.

She dug into her backpack again, pulling out a small bottle and a bar of chocolate. She took a sip of her home-made concoction, completely unaffected by the taste that once made her gag and the burning sensation down her throat. She was just glad it worked as well as it did – her nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing heats were a thing of the past, which meant she was in control of her body at all times, and although some Alpha might still sniff her out … well, she never stayed in one place long enough for that to happen. She wasn’t exactly sure about all of the side-effects of her home-made suppressants, but the recipe she based it on might have warned about bad things happening to one’s reproduction organs if used without break. Maybe that was the reason she used it so excessively. She refused to let whatever twisted fate that made her what she was define her life even more. Like being completely out of control once a month wasn’t enough, she would not have any Alpha – or anyone else for that matter – control her for the rest of the time when she was sane enough. She refused to be someone’s private pup factory.

And so she took one more little sip, silently cheering to possible infertility, and then stuffed her mouth full of chocolate. Pulling the blanket over her, she curled into a ball, adjusting her position on the floor in an attempt to find the most comfortable one.

She barely managed to close her eyes when she heard the sound that immediately flung her into a state of panic.

Footsteps. Getting closer.

As quickly as she could, she freed herself from the blanket cocoon and tugged on her dark coat. She pressed herself against one of the targets, fishing a knife out of the inner pocket of her coat. She didn’t have to wait long for the door of the shed to slid open.

“Man, what a downpour!”

It was a man’s voice. She gripped her knife tighter.

She couldn’t see what he was doing, but there was a sound of wood clattering (maybe the practice swords colliding?) while he was humming a catchy tune. She stayed behind her cover completely still, although everything in her head was screaming to either fight or run. Her knuckles were turning white from the tight grip she had on the handle of her knife and she prayed to whatever deity that might be listening for the man to go away.

Then the humming stopped. She held her breath. There was no sound of the door closing. What was he doing? Her eyes frantically searched for an escape route.

The footsteps – slower this time – heading towards the back of the shed.

Her body was tense as a bowstring, ready to leap at whatever came around the line of targets. Briefly, she realized that her hands were shaking.

A man appeared before her, his short green hair drenched in rain or sweat she couldn’t tell. She didn’t pay much attention to his appearance because as soon as the stench of an Alpha filled her nose, she flung herself at him like a feral cat. Her knife connected, cutting down his forearm, and he let out a surprised yelp. Almost at the same time, his other hand reached after her and she stabbed her knife in the direction it was coming from. He pulled away just in time to avoid the blade, taking a step back and crashing into some gardening tools.

With his hands finally at his sides, she leapt away from him, but in a different direction than the one she charged from – towards the door, towards freedom.

“Don’t try to follow me,” she snarled, her knife still pointed at the man as she retreated towards the door.

The green-haired Alpha was just staring at her like he couldn’t quite process what was happening.

She took another step back, already feeling the breeze coming through the open door. Almost there. A smile was threatening to surface and she had to bite her lip to keep it under control. Her wide eyes were reflecting a mix of panic, terror and a manic feeling of being victorious, which made for quite a terrifying sight.

And then her back bumped into something hard, stopping her dead in her tracks. Her heart sank. She was almost too afraid to turn around and face the new threat.

“What is the cause of this commotion?” came a deep voice from behind her.

The decision was made in a split second. She swiftly spun around and stabbed at whoever was standing behind her. A hand caught her wrist and held it in an iron grip, forcing her to drop her weapon. She slowly looked up into a pair of cold, dark eyes.

She wanted to scream in despair, but she was completely frozen by his watchful gaze. His Alpha scent was both haunting and intoxicating, and she resented her body for betraying her so easily.

“An intruder,” the newcomer said in an icy tone. “You will be punished for trespassing.”

He inhaled deeply through his nose and blinked. He leaned a little closer and sniffed the air again.

“What is it, brother?” the other one asked, taking a step closer and sniffing the air as well.

His eyes suddenly turned predatory, “Oh. Is that ...”

“Luck favours us, Genji. We must go and tell Father to cease the negotiations immediately. A stray Omega just waltzed right into our home. For free.” The dark-haired Alpha in front of her was watching her intently.

“Wait, you mean we can’t have her right now?” the green-hair – Genji – asked, staring at his brother in disbelief. “It’s been so long since we last touched an Omega! C’mon, Hanzo! You know Father doesn’t like to be disturbed during the night. We can tell him tomorrow and in the meantime, get acquainted with our new little Omega here.”

Hanzo thought for a second, then nodded. “We have to make sure she is worthy of carrying an heir to the Shimada clan.”

They were talking about her like she wasn’t even there, like she was just some object free for them to take. That’s what pissed her off about Alphas the most. And before she could think it all through, she punched Hanzo in the face.

He moved just enough for her to miss his nose, her fist connecting with his cheekbone instead. The grip on her wrist loosened up a little and she tried to yank it free.

It didn’t work, however. He gripped her even tighter with both hands, fury flashing in his eyes.

“How dare you,” he growled.

“Let go of me,” she demanded, but her shaky voice betrayed her.

“Omegas were made to be claimed by the Alphas. It’s in your nature,” Hanzo was saying through his gritted teeth as he hoisted her up and threw her over his shoulder.

She kicked her feet and banged at his muscular back with her fists, “In my nature my ass!”

“We are doing you a favour. You have gone completely feral without a proper Alpha to take care of you. Once we knot you, you will calm down,” Hanzo continued and started walking away from the shed.

“Let me go!” she screamed again and again, but the dark-haired Alpha was deaf to her pleas.

“Well, at least she’s got spirit. I think she will be perfect for us,” Genji commented in a light conversational tone as he trailed behind his brother and the Omega. “This late-night training session really paid off, isn’t that right, Hanzo?”

~

She didn’t see much of her surroundings as the Alphas navigated through the estate, her vision blurred by the tears of despair. A sound of doors sliding open and then she was falling. A rather comfortable futon eased her landing and she quickly scrambled onto all fours and looked around.

They brought her into a smaller tatami room, traditionally decorated and mostly empty. The sheets smelled faintly of flowers – more importantly, they didn’t smell like any of the Alphas, which meant that this was probably a guest bedroom or something similar. And there was only one escape route: through the door blocked by both of the Alphas.

She didn’t want to just sit on the futon and be an easy target, but she also didn’t want to back away. Where to? Being caught in a corner seemed even less appealing.

Before she could really commit to anything, Hanzo was crouching beside her, tugging her coat off her. She pulled her arms closer to her body, glaring at him in defiance.

“Cooperate or I will cut the clothes off your body,” the dark-haired Alpha growled.

She felt that Alpha growl all the way down in the pit of her stomach, her Omega instincts slowly awakening. At that moment, she hated herself, her body for responding to what she did not want and the twisted fate that made her this pathetic, submissive creature. Finding a nice Alpha mate who would take care of their Omega? That was just some fairytale bullshit. All Alphas were assholes, thinking they owned every Omega they came across. There were no happy endings for the ones like her in this world.

Her body was screaming to submit to the Alpha in front of her and yet she continued to scowl at him, her arms crossed over her chest.

Suddenly, Genji appeared on the other side of her, crouching down and caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers. She jerked away from him, surprised by the gentle gesture.

Hanzo took advantage of the distraction and grabbed the hem of her hoodie, pulling it up. She quickly put her hands down, keeping them pressed to her body and refusing to let him lift the fabric. But then Genji grabbed her wrists and with combined strengths, they unceremoniously stripped her of her clothes.

She shivered as the cold air enveloped her bare skin, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. As she moved, the feeling of slickness between her legs became more apparent and it was mortifying. Wide-eyed, she stared at the Alphas, waiting for them to pounce. Hanzo was watching her with a focus of a predator, despite in the middle of taking off his clothes. Genji was also maintaining eye-contact with her as he brought something to his nose, inhaling deeply. She recognized the bunched-up fabric as her underwear and she grimaced.

“Your scent is delicious, Omega,” he purred as he dropped the fabric and began stripping his clothes as well.

Hanzo was way ahead of him – already naked and advancing on her. Her gaze involuntarily trailed down his muscular body and to the hand stroking his almost fully erect Alpha cock. This was the first time she was seeing one in person and it made her both terrified and wanting. Even in this state, it was already bigger than any of the silicone replacements she had been using to ease her heats.

“Brother, wait,” Genji said, placing his hand onto Hanzo’s shoulder.

For some reason, a little spark of hope that he will stop this horrible thing and let her go appeared in her head.

“I found the Omega,” he continued in a rather neutral voice. “It is only fair that I get to breed her first.”

“And I caught the Omega,” Hanzo growled at him. “If it were only you, she would have gotten away.”

Dismissing him, the dark-haired Alpha turned to face her again.

“Open your legs, little Omega. I can smell your arousal,” he growled, but it was a different kind of a sound, one that made her core throb.

She tightened her grip around her legs, glaring at him with silent hatred.

His face darkened. With no warning whatsoever, he grabbed her ankles and pulled her legs towards him, making her fall onto her back. As an immediate response, she started kicking and flailing her arms.

“Let go of me!” she screamed, trying to aim her kicks at his face but with little success.

Hanzo held her ankles in a painfully strong grip, no signs of it letting up. The hopelessness of the situation was demoralising, but she didn’t stop squirming in his grip. He lifted his hands, pulling her legs up and in turn bringing her body closer. She twisted around as best as she could and gripped the futon in the final attempt to escape.

Another pair of hands gripped her wrists, forcing her to let go and flipped her back around. She knew it was Genji who now had her hands pinned down to the ground above her head, could see the flash of his green hair as he moved into a better position, towering above her.

“Hush, little Omega,” the younger Alpha purred. “We’ll make you feel real good, I promise.”

She looked at Hanzo with tears in her eyes. There was no way she could escape them.

“Please,” she sobbed, finally going limp in their hands.

Begging was her last resort – not that she had any hopes for it.

Silently, Hanzo gripped her ankles in one hand, using the other to guide his hefty cock to her weeping cunt.

“Please, I don’t want this,” she whispered, the image of the Alpha in front of her blurred due to her tears.

“Your body is telling me otherwise,” Hanzo said in a low voice. “Begging me to fill you, to breed you, give you the knot it so desperately wants.”

The head of his cock pressed against her slick folds. Her whole body tensed up in both anticipation and fear. She closed her eyes, the thought of watching him do this to her unbearable. She wanted it to hurt, she wanted her body to hate it. But when Hanzo’s girth finally entered her tight channel – the penetration practically effortless due to how wet she was, it was anything but painful.

The way his cock filled her up, reaching deep and stretching her walls so perfectly, was better than anything she’d ever used during her past heats. Another wave of pleasure raked through her body as Hanzo thrust into her again, her body reacting in a completely opposite way than her mind. She tried to hold on to that little bit of sanity she had left, tried to convince her body that this was not what she wanted; and yet, her pussy clenched down on the Alpha’s cock like her life depended on it, her back arching as every snap of his hips sent a sweet sensation through her body.

“No,” she whimpered quietly.

Hanzo changed his grip again, holding her by the back of her knees and keeping her legs slightly spread apart up in the air. This position gave him more access and he immediately set a punishing pace. His cock suddenly felt thicker and more filling, especially around the base, teasing her tight entrance even more intensely … With horror, she realized that his knot was already forming and she was fairly certain Hanzo wouldn’t be pulling out.

As an automatic reaction accompanying her urge to get away, she started wriggling in his grip again, which resulted in a situation quite the opposite of what she wanted. The Omega responding seemed to motivate Hanzo even further and he started pounding into her even more ferociously. She could only cry out and she wasn’t even sure if it was in protest or pleasure.

She barely even noticed Genji adjusting his hold on her wrists, now doing it with only one hand.

With his free hand, he gently petted her head and murmured soothingly, “You’re taking him so well, Omega. You’ll be perfect for us.”

She jerked away from him, startled by the tenderness of his touch.

“If you promise you will not kick, I will touch you. You would like that, wouldn’t you, Omega? Me playing with your clit while I breed you and make you come,” Hanzo purred, seemingly unaffected by how fast he was thrusting into her.

Her body screamed for some attention on that part of her body; wanted it, craved the high it will bring.

Mustering up all of her resolve and courage, she spat in his face, “I don’t want you to touch me. Anywhere. At all.”

She had thought he would be pissed, had mentally prepared for it and was willing to accept the consequences. However, the dark-haired Alpha only chuckled darkly, his thrusts suddenly slowing down to powerful snaps of his hips all the way in and all the way out. His knot had grown and was now harshly pushing and tugging at her cunt every time he moved, sending little jolts of pleasure through her body.

“Oh, I will enjoy breaking you into submission, my feisty little Omega.”

Hanzo leaned down and pressed his nose against her neck, humming appreciatively. His beard felt all prickly against her sweaty skin and she grimaced. He inhaled her scent again and licked her neck.

She wanted to scream in frustration, but the breathy sound that left her mouth was something entirely different. Hanzo ripped his half-formed knot out of her and she sobbed in a mix of pain and pleasure. Against all odds, she hoped it wouldn’t fit back in, but she had a hunch Hanzo will make it fit. He rammed back into her, knot and all, the tip of his cock hitting her cervix and making her yelp.

Suddenly, Hanzo yanked her up and flipped her onto her stomach, his cock staying buried deep inside of her. She tried to crawl away, but his firm chest pressed against her back, squishing her against the futon. His hips were moving in a slow rock. Her eyes widened in panic as his knot swelled to its final size, stretching her cunt to its limits. She choked out a quiet moan.

The feeling of being this full, this stretched out couldn’t compare to anything she had ever felt before. And beyond all the pleasure, the fear, the throbbing of her tight walls, there was a sense of completion, a sense of accomplishing something she was supposed to do. It was a dreadful feeling.

Hanzo’s loud moan pulled her out of her thoughts and in the next moment, there was an explosion of warmth in her belly as he painted her walls with his thick Alpha cum. A shudder ran down her spine, a more primal side finally taking over and relishing the feeling of this powerful Alpha breeding her so well. She arched her back, her cunt squeezing down on his knot, wanting more.

Hanzo let out a quiet grunt and rolled to his side, pulling her with him. Pushing his legs in-between hers, he kept them spread open while his hand dived straight for her core.

“Milk my knot. Beg me to give you more,” he growled.

When the rough pads of his fingers finally made contact with her sensitive nub, her body ignited in pleasure. It was due to both: Hanzo expertly playing with her clit and that delicious, hefty knot stretching her walls to oblivion. She barely even noticed Genji lying down next to them. He lazily tugged at his pre-come-dripping dick, watching his brother force an orgasm out of the Omega with interest.

It didn’t take long before she was writhing in his arms as waves of pleasure hit her like a storm – suddenly and strong. Too strong. Her pussy clamped down on Hanzo’s cock, making him groan and buck his hips as he released the final drops of his seed into her womb.  She mewled quietly at this peculiar feeling of fullness in her belly, something she has never experienced before.

As the high calmed down, she sagged against the Alpha’s body and closed her eyes. Hanzo silently rearranged her limbs so that she was lying in a fetal position with his hand resting over her belly. It was the middle of the night, she was exhausted, well-bred and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep. And when she woke up, maybe this nightmare would be over.

Her eyes snapped open. She was tied to an Alpha who she did not know, who did not ask if she wanted this, who was most likely intending to keep her after he kidnapped her; and then there was another Alpha who was waiting to have his go with her and was guilty of all the same things. She felt like she was going to throw up.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed until Hanzo’s knot finally dissipated. She stubbornly kept her eyes closed throughout the whole waiting period, not only to make it more bearable but also to ignore the green-haired Alpha lying beside her, giving her the hungriest eyes she had ever seen.

When Hanzo finally pulled out, a copious amount of his thick cum flowed out of her spent cunt. But it was no time for celebrations. Hanzo’s hands hadn’t even left her body yet when she was yanked out of his grasp with ease.

She was on her back again, in the same position as before, but this time with Genji on top of her.

“Finally you’re mine, sweet Omega,” he purred into her ear.

At least she got the big bad out of the way first. Genji seemed nicer compared to his brother, gentler even.

“I wanted to make our first mating special and long,” he continued, “but my dear brother took his time, torturing me with the view. I’m afraid I won’t be able to last very long.”

He pushed back her legs, almost folding her in half. Wasting no time, he pressed the tip of his cock against her entrance. Thanks to her and Hanzo’s mixed fluids, it slipped in smoothly and with a lewd squelch accompanying it. Immediately, he thrust all the way in, making her gasp in surprise.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” Genji moaned.

Holding her hands above her head, he practically lay down on top of her, keeping her legs spread with his body. There was no warm-up, just a brutal pace right from the beginning. She saw stars every time his massive Alpha cock hit her cervix, but not in a pleasant way. And yet there was some twisted pleasure coming from the fact that he was so close to her womb.

His knot had already started forming – he wasn’t lying about this being a quick session. And yet Genji fucked like it wasn’t even there, pushing it in and out of her sensitive pussy like a madman. She squirmed underneath him, crying out repeatedly.

“I love how you sing for me,” Genji purred.

He nuzzled her neck, inhaling deeply. Then his teeth grazed her skin and she froze. An Alpha knotting her was definitely bad, but Alpha’s teeth anywhere near her neck was a lot worse.

“I would love to make you mine,” he hummed. “A little bite is all it takes...”

“Watch it,” Hanzo interrupted him with a hiss.

She glanced to the side. Hanzo was lounging on the futon some distance away from them, showing off his naked body with no particular care. It was almost like he had been taking a nap until his brother’s words woke him up and now he was glaring daggers at Genji through half-lidded eyes.

Genji didn’t pay much attention to the other Alpha. He only chuckled lowly, dangerously.

“Maybe Father will let you pick your mate. I wonder who you would choose.”

He brought his hand up to her neck and slowly pressed down. Her eyes widened and she started wriggling underneath him in panic. That made Genji chuckle and he pressed down on her neck even more, not enough to completely cut the air off, but enough to make her struggle.

“Don’t,” she wheezed, her hand gripping his wrist. “Please.”

Genji leaned in, his mouth open slightly as if mimicking her; the corners of his lips curled upward in a devilish grin. He was watching her with interest as he squeezed her neck more firmly, effectively cutting off her airways. She opened and closed her mouth like a fish on the land, her eyes wide with terror. She had thought Hanzo was the worse one; that he was the brute. But Genji was even worse, manipulating her into a fake sense of security and then fucking her just as ruthlessly.

The green-haired Alpha let out a breathy chuckle and whispered, “You’re squeezing down on my cock like crazy. I think you might actually be enjoying this.”

Just when her vision started to get a bit blurry, he released his hold on her neck and she sucked in a lungful of air. And yet the relief was short-lived. Genji’s knot had grown considerably, had gotten almost too big to fit in, so when he rammed it in, the mix of pain and pleasure made her gasp.

He moaned loudly, shamelessly, his hips continuing to rock against her despite his knot already locking in. It made her toes curl and she found herself walking right on the edge of another climax. His hips only stilled when he was ready to add to the mess inside of her, filling her up with his thick seed to the point of where she thought she might burst.

Genji ground his hips against her a bit longer, determined to give her everything he had; and in doing so, he managed to push her off the edge again. She moaned when a shock of pleasure ran through her body, sparks dancing in her vision, her fingers digging into the futon. The reaction was purely physical, but the high was so intense that she completely forgot about the reality of the situation, her brain kicking back into primal mode again. And with her mind clouded from all of the different sensations, she simply found it very satisfying – being full of Alpha cum like this.

Genji eventually rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him. She was exhausted, her womb full of rich Alpha seed, her pussy still gripping a solid knot; she didn’t put up much of a fight. Her head was resting against his chest and she was able to hear his heartbeat, still going a bit faster than normal. His hand found its way to her lower back, his thumb caressing her skin soothingly.

“You did so well, sweet Omega,” the green-haired Alpha purred lazily. “You will be an irreplaceable addition to the Shimada clan.”

A hum of agreement came from somewhere in Hanzo’s direction.

His words caused a shiver to run down her spine, her blood suddenly turning to ice. This nightmare was only just beginning. Despite the proximity of Genji’s body, she suddenly felt really cold.

❀

[tokoyamisstuff]

Protector - Bucky x Reader

Synopsis: Your boyfriend Bucky Barnes has his own ways of supporting your musical career.

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Bullying

Words: ~4000

A/N: I think this is a good opportunity to tell you that you can always reach out to me, no matter what. If you guys are experiencing any kind of emotional distress, don't hesitate to text me 24/7!

You are not alone. You are loved. You deserve better!💌

Some mornings, Bucky would feel like a bag of bricks when waking up. Most of the time he’d just laugh it off as being “a hundred year old man, after all.”

And today was no different.

He groaned when he felt the phantom pain kicking in, involuntarily waking him up before the sun even rose. The metal plates in his arm turned as he cracked his bones, trying to get his body to listen to him.

After getting the sand out of his eyes, your boyfriend finally turned around - just to be disappointed when he found your bedplace to be empty again.

He knew exactly where you are.

Well, morning cuddles with you were almost impossible due to the strict training schedule you put upon yourself.

It was kinda sad, since you were the only reason Bucky was able to sleep soundly again, without being interrupted by hellish nightmares. Yet you were already up way earlier than a goddamn elite soldier.

To not disturb you, Bucky would stagger to the bathroom first, taking a shower as he heared the “Moonlight Sonata” echoing through the whole house.

When you were playing, your boyfriend couldn’t help but to at least hum the melody, no matter when. His silent voice turned into a loud whistling as he enjoyed a hot shower, before striding to the kitchen.

His enhanced hearing allowed him to experience music in a whole new way - and goddamn it, the way you produced pure art on this piano was unlike anything he had ever heared.

The pace, the rythm, the fact that you never missed one note let alone emphasize the right tones...

Everything was simply perfection.

Especially the way you gave old classics your own twist. It was admirable to have such talent, he thought.

He used his super-soldier powers to sneak up to you playing way too often, as he did today, leaning to the doorframe which led to the living toom, munching on a cereal bar to reveal himself.

For some reason, you didn’t like him or anyone else to listen to you play, humbly stating that you were still way too bad to have any audience.

And that was the one thing bothering him as he scanned your face: You didn’t seem like you were enjoying it at all.

Quite the opposite, actually. The only thing he could see was a tired, strained musician.

Well, artists were always stressed. They were special persons, after all. It was hard to understand them fully, as they often didn’t even understand themselves.

“Music is the art of self-discovery” you once told him, almost tempting him to learn an instrument himself.

And your music was the most soothing thing that ever graced his ear, so shouldn’t you be enjoying it, too?

Today, you didn’t even seem to notice him, that was just how invested you were in your work.

Well, it wasn’t simply a hobby. It was your dream. And he knew just how hard you were working on it ever since you were a child.

Bucky was eager to support you in any way possible, giving you what you needed and trying not to be all too clingy. You needed space sometimes, no matter how much it pained him.

“Good morning, babycakes” he hummed loving, interrupting your trance. James would put his arms around you from behind, quickly pressing a kiss in your hair. “Up so early again, I see?”

Eventually your stony expression would falter and you gave in to his touch, leaning against his bulky chest as you blinked rapidly between still narrowed eyes. A weak “Hi...” was all that escaped your lips.

“You look tired. How long have you been up?”

Things would only get worse the closer that certain date would come “I’m still not good enough…” you stammered, elbows leaning on the tiles and releasing a horrifying sound. “Far away from acceptable, even…”

You already snapped out of it, forgetting your exhaustion and getting ready to start again - but Bucky would softly grab your wrist, putting his other hand under your chin so you would finally look at him.

“Doll, you know that’s not right. You’re amazing! Everyone says so!”

“What would they know.” You instantly regretting that sentence. He meant your friends, after all. “I-I mean, it’s nice and all, but they aren’t professionals. And Thomas says-”

“Shh.” Bucky began to rub small circles on your back until he got to your stiffened neck, carefully massaging it. Your voice sounded so full of self-hatred that even Bucky had to swallow.

As much as he knew you valued his opinion, Thomas was top notch. Anyone elses opinion meant very little in comparison with the best teacher in New York.

He had trained many of the biggest pianists in the world, and you dreamed so very dearly to become one of them.

Bucky was good at reading people, and he had that feeling from the very beginning: That your teacher was an asshole.

But every time he tried to find out more about your lessons with him you’d completely block his attempts or defend that guy.

“He’s my only chance to become better than myself. And he even planned that gig for me. I owe him!”

James bit his cheek until he felt blood coming- Fuck it. He knew just how important that concert was for you and your career. And he’d be damned if he ruined it by being overly protective.

But it was putting a stroll on his heart, too, seeing you that way even though he thought you to deserve nothing but happiness.  

Since you helped him to accept his past and love himself again - through loving and helping others. Through loving you, to be precize.

And now he was here, helpless at how to assist you in that time of need.

Right now, he didn’t feel like a hero in the slightest.

So he simply shuffled down on the seat next to you, clumsily starting to play a part of “For Elise”.

That whole time through, you wouldn’t move a muscle as you stared at his big hands with an open mouth. It wasn’t really what one would call well played, but it was a surprise nonetheless.

“Where-”

“My parents” he already started explaining, “They were never quite fond of me becoming a soldier. Considering everything that happened, I should’ve probably listened to them.”

He chuckled, shyly and dumbly as he’d always do when he made a joke that dark, and your glare changed into a compassionate one. Buck didn’t like you pitying him, but he knew it was to no avail.

You’d always care about him. And that wasn’t so bad, after all. He was a lucky man.

“Well, they wanted me to learn something else than the way of hurting and killing people. Bringing them joy, you know? Be sophisticated.” He shrugged, then kept on as his fingers ghosted over the tiles, then wandering to your knee to squeeze the flesh of your leg.

“It was great to impress woman, hehe.” You weren’t really fond when he was talking about his time as a womanizer, yet you loved seeing him reminisce in easier, happier times. “I may be a lunk, but I have one or two asses up my sleeve. I never liked playing at all, but now...It’s the only way to feel connected to my parents. My heritage.”

“Darling...” you sniffled, weakly snuggling up to his chest just to feel his fastened heartbeat. When he put his strong arms around you, it was like all the problems of the world couldn’t affect you any more.

You felt safe.

“Never doubt yourself again” he demanded, silently whispering into your ear after an eternity of enjoying this closeness in complete silence.

With him, you were finally able to relax. And it didn’t take you long until your body gave in, falling asleep as he gently stroked your head and covered you in the most tender kisses.

“I love you, Y/N. And I’m very proud of you.”

...

It was already noon when you awokened, much to your surprise in your bed. Seems like Bucky carried you there.

For a moment, a wide smile stretched over your face as you took in his scent that was present in the sheets.

“Fuck!”

Bucky knew what was going on before you even got downstairs.

“I’m way too late!” you yelled at him, running around in only your underwear, carrying a huge pile of clothes and make-up to the bathroom to get ready. “Why didn’t you wake me up?!”

Your boyfriend did nothing but chuckle at how easily irritated you got when you were stressed, then facing the stove again when you locked the bathroom door behind you.

Loud music jammed out of the radio, and before the song was even finished, you took a seat, being all ready. “You cooked?”

“Everything for you, doll.” When he turned around, Buck was wearing a huge ‘Kiss the Cook’-apron, making you almost choke at your drink out of laughter. “Well, if that isn’t a cliché.”

“A man from the 40′s doing the housework is a cliché?” he mocked as he placed your favourite food on the table, gifting you the most heartwarming smile. “Well, I want to help you wherever I can.”

“You’re simply the best!” you told him between munching quickly, “Sorry that we don’t get to spend much time together, lately.”

“I enjoy every minute, doll. Even if I just listen to you play. As long as I fall asleep next to you, I couldn’t be happier.”

God, he was so sweet all the time. It only caused your guilt to skyrocket.

As soon as the concert was over, you would gift him that holiday on Tenerife as you had planned to! Just the two of you, all alone on a romantic trip, sipping drinks at the beach...

You really needed a time off.

“Lost in thoughts again?”

“No. But I need to go now.” You were already standing up after having devoured that lovely prepared meal in record time, putting on your boots and jacket.

“Doll, you know I can simply drop you out the-”

“Never!” you blurted out, then quite embarassed getting a hold of yourself. “I-I mean it’s fine. You have other things to do, right?”

Of course he had not. It wasn’t even a fifteen minute ride from here. But he didn’t want to pry, so he just sat there with crossed arms, sighing deeply.

“Fine. But I get my goodbye-kiss, right?”

Racing towards him to peck his whole face, hoping it would suffer for the time you were away, you murmured “Love you” and rushed out of the door as quickly as always, leaving the love of your life alone with all of his worries.

Little did you know that the master spy had a plan of his own:

Today, he was gonna find out.

...

“Can’t you do anything fucking right?!”

You flinched at Thomas words, but kept on playing the best you knew how. He dramatically threw his hands into the air, cussing under his breath.

It hadn’t even be three minutes until his first outburst, even though you only played “Flight of the Bumblebee” as a warmup - and in a pace that would even make the composer envious.

But after so many months training, you were already quite used to his ragefits.

“You play this as slow as a snail, for fucks sake!” he added, only making you more nervous with every step he came closer.

“Did I allow you to stop?!” your teacher yelled, slamming his balled fists onto the wooden piano. “Can’t you even do the basics? God…”

You quickly rubbed your face and started all over, wondering why he took you as apprentice in the first place.

If you were that bad, why would he make you play in front of a great audience this Saturday?

But well, you were just too kind-hearted and naive. You thought this was just his method of motivating his pupils to become even better.

“You look terrible. Aren’t you embarassed?! How can I present you to my colleagues if you look like a homeless? Shit!”

He was kinda right. You took the firs things in your wardrobe so you wouldn’t get too late. Thomas hated it, and you were afraid of the punishment And then the messy hair and dark rings under your eyes...

“I’m just a litte sleep deprived” you explained calmly. “I trained the whole night, so-”

Thomas bursting laughter interrupted you, and he’d even wipe a tear out of his face while doing so. “You trained yourself?”

His voice became more grim now, and he got so close that the stinging smell of his aftershave tainted your nose. “Do you think you can train on your own? You’re nothing without me! Get that in your head!”

Your eyes widened with fear when he opened your bag, puling out some scribbles. “And this! Don’t think I didn’t notice you were composing on your own.”

“Plea-” The words dissolved into nothing but a whimper when you saw Thomas ripping apart all of your attempts, everything you’ve worked so proudly on. And he didn’t even read or listened to them...

“You think you’re some hot shit, huh? I told you to stick to the fucking notes! No one wants to hear your version to old classics of the greatest!”

Pressing himself against the piano, he said “I heard you even have a boyfriend. What poor being has to spend his time with you? Or is he a freak, like you?”

Right now, the image of Bucky in your head was the only thing that kept you sane.

“Yeah” you sniffled, even managing to crack a smile when you remembered how uplifting and supportive he was all this time. “He is a freak. The best kind of.”

A loud noise snapped you out of it.

It took you a while to realize what had just happened, but the burning sensation on your cheek, heat rising in the skin told the whole story.

Thomas had slapped you.

“Get that stupid grin out of your face!” He wouldn’t even apologize. It never stopped, wouldn’t it? And you were too weak to fight back, the only thing you were able to do was holding back the tears who were already collecting in the rim of your eyes. “We’re not in kindergarden! Get yourself together!”

"Stop. It. Right. Now…” a menacing but familiar voice called out from the back.

Oh no.

It was Bucky.

“Babe!” you blurted out, running right to him as he was nearing your teacher with firm steps. “H-how much di-did you hear?”

“Enough” he muttered under heavy breaths, shooting an icy glare to Thomas who was still ranting on about how your boyfriend got in here and starting to insult both of you.

His mechanical arm was well hidden under his fabric, yet even if he wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore, you could feel how he air around him had changed.

This was dangerous.

You needed to de-escaalate this situation - otherwise there’d be a disaster.

“Please.”

Your voice was more than enough to calm him down. But he didn’t understand why you would still protect this cheap excuse of a man.

His eyes wandered down to your shivering from, grabbing on his shirt and whispering “You promised me...Never again.”

Bucky gnarled his teeth, still clenching and unclenching his fists, thinking about how he wouldn’t even need weapons to give that guy what he deserved.

But he couldn’t do this to you.

If that was your wish, it’d be his command.

“Let’s just go home, okay?” You cupped his cheeks in your hands, softly brushing his lips with yours to make him calm down. “Don’t become a monster again. Not because of me. I couldn’t live with that.”

Those words really hit his heart like a bullet never could.

“Allright.” His voice was still dark and gruffed, almost as if he was about to cry at any moment.

He gulped harshly, to remove the lump out of his throat, squeezing your small hand way too hard when the two of you turned around and left - but it was alright. You could bear with it.

Thomas had no idea what kind of wrath he just put on himself, neither what had happened just now. Yet it was in his nature to say more than good for him, so he kept on pouring oil in the fire.

“Yeah, and you never need to come back here, you maniacs!”

One last time, without you noticing because you were too busy crying, Bucky turned around to look at your teacher. And the look in his eyes told him everything he needed to know, pulling shivers down his spine.

This wasn’t over. The last word had not yet been spoken.

…

After the two of you made your way home, you would finally tell him the whole story: About the bullying, the abuse - the violence.

And Bucky felt like the worst partner that had ever been.

How could he not have noticed?

No - it was way worse than that.

He did notice. He knew the entire time, yet he turned a blind eye to the situation at hand.

Why hasn’t he tried to find out?

It was so obvious now. All of your reactions, the excuses. The bruises on your body, telling him you had tripped.

How you cried yourself to sleep sometimes, telling him it was just the stress.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. So sorry...” Tears pattered down his face as he watched your sleeping form, covering you in the blanket.

One last time, he would brush your cheek, placing a kiss on the very same spot before he disappeared.

Because he had a mission that couldn’t be delayed.

It wasn’t all that late, but already dark, due to it being winter. And Bucky couldn’t help to remember how often you ‘forgot your jacket’ after your lessons, walking home in the freezing cold. Was that another one of his punishments?

That man would have to suffer. He’d finish him, take him down for good, he-

No. He promised you: No crimes, no murder - and as tempting as it was, no torture either.

The way to Thomas music school wasn’t that long, but Bucky sure took his time, kicking every stone while pondering just how he could make that bastard pay for what he had done to you.

Not once it came to his mind that you could’ve cheated on him, yet he always wondered why you wouldn’t take him to those piano lessons.

Now he knew, and it was hard to bear with it.

Because you were experiencing horrifying things this whole time, while he was enjoying himself in the safety of your shared home.

That was inexcusable, for him as weil as for Thomas.

Meanwhile, Thomas was the last one in the building, having carefully put together the ripped pages.

“Incredible. Magnificent!” he was talking to himself, playing some of the notes you had written. “One masterpiece after another. If I lable them as my own, that’ll be my second breakthrough after so many years of not producing anything!”

Bucky huffed. It was obvious that your teacher was just envious of you already being more talented than he ever was.

“That stupid bitch is so easily to control. I’ll-”

At that very second, Thomas felt a blade being pressed to his neck, already cutting the first, thin skin layer. He was standing in front of a giant mirror, making him able to see his own blood slowly dripping down his skin.

He began to hyperventilate, trying to grab the arms of his attacker - but to no avail.

While Thomas was struggling, James could see himself in the mirror. It was the first time in years hat he was fully geared, even wearing his muffle again.

You were right. The person in the mirror wasn’t him.

Yet it was a part of him. His dark side.

And he could control it. To do the right thing.

“Move, and I will kill you. Make a sound, and I will kill you. Try to fight or fool me, and I will kill you.”

Oh, he could basically see how that man was almost pissing himself, and he had to keep himself from laughing about it. Yet he kept a straight face, seeing how Thomas listened to every of his commands.

All of a sudden, it was all quiet. Thomas wouldn’t even flinch or cry.

“If you understood what I just said, slowly close your eyes.” And so he did, sweating heavily.

“Not all that mighty now, huh? Do you know who I am? If you do, open them again.”

Thomas was a piece of shit, obviously, but he wasn’t stupid. So he wouldn’t do anything.

“Good” Bucky grumbled, balling a fist in the mans hair. “Since you have no idea just what I am. Now listen: You���ve never seen me. You won’t go to he police. You won’t talk about this at all. No one can help you.”

“Wh-what do you-” Smack. One of his teeth flew as soon as Buckys metal backhand hit his cheek.

“I didn’t allow you to speak, pig. I wanted to wipe that obnoxious grin out of your face, you trash. Or should I cut off your hands, so you can never play again?”

His blade was gliding over Thomas body, leaving marks everywhere. “I should make you as ugly on the outside as you are inside...” He wanted to scream in pure terror, but his survival instinct kicked in, telling him to stay silent. Yet his heart was racing so loudly against his chest that it could be heared from afar.

“Anyway: I promise you, I’ll find you anywhere on this world and make you wish you were dead. Not even god will help you, then.”

Bucky threw the whimpering man to the ground, slamming his combat boot just an inch away from his face, leaving that man a shaking and screaming mess.

“Never show your filthy face to us ever again.”

...

It was the night of your concert, and you were as nervous as never before.

Ever since that day, Thomas had disappeared into nothingness, but Bucky assured you that he was alive. You just knew he had something to do with this - but you trusted him.

He was your protector, after all. And you were already feeling guilty enough for not telling him. It took you forever to convince him that he had done nothing wrong.

Just your luck that the descendants of Buckys old piano teacher were still leading that school, welcoming you with open arms.

Finally, your passion for music was enjoyable again. Life was so much easier after you had opened up to Bucky. Something like that would never happen ever again.

“I am so proud of you, Y/N.”

His words gave you strength and confidence. And when the curtain dropped, you felt as if you had been born ready.

All of your friends were sitting in the first row, with Bucky already clapping before you even started, a giant pack of roses on his lap to throw in your direction later.

He was simply baffled by the way you looked in that formal wear, beautiful as always. But the most important thing: You finally looked happy again. Relaxed, content with yourself and everything else.

Sitting down in front of that magnificent piano, you felt everyones glares being stuck on your every move. Calmly sipping on a glass of water, you cleared your throat.

“The following song I composed myself.”

Everyone was curious about what song you would’ve chosen for your great debut.

“I wrote it for the most important person in my life.” At that moment, Buckys and your eyes met, and you felt yourself melting at his passion.

That was for him. For everything you’ve gone through and experienced together.

And everything that would happen in the future you shared.

“I love you.”

As you began to play your song, fingers dancing over the tiles, you tried to pour all the love you felt for this man into your music, honoring his very existence and the fact that he came into your life.

He was your muse.

And you meant everything to him.

_______

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[split-n-splice]

Some Drakgo silliness set during the episode "Partners." 1700k

[ FFn | Ao3 ]

Practice Makes Perfect

Drakken had just been zapped with enough voltage to make the lights flicker. The electricity must have played tricks on his brain with how fast he announced his newest plan. One critical look from Shego told him what she thought of it.

“You don’t think I can be charming?”

“I didn’t say a word,” she dismissed.

“You’ll see, Shego. The Doctor is making a house call.” He watched her whole body cringe at his playful purr for emphasis.

“Ugh, can you not do that?” she snipped over her shoulder, lip raised in disgust.

“Not do what? Get electrocuted?” He snorted and turned back to the genomic sequencer. “I’d love to.”

“You’re not going to charm anyone with that, Dr. D,” Shego went on criticizing. “It’s so – so—” A peek back at her, and he could see she was grasping for words. It appeared she let it go with a sigh and a slouch back in her seat.

“It’s not like I have a lot of practice,” he grumbled bitterly to himself, cheeks flushing behind a layer of ash. “I’ve been busy with more important things than honing the craft.”

“Well, get practice.”

“Oh, and how do you propose I do that?” Drakken shot back, turning to her with a fist on his hip. He almost wavered when she stood as he spoke. “And since when are you such the expert? I don’t have time to catch a single’s cruise—”

Instead of stalking out of the lab to escape his griping, Shego paced right up in front of him and stood with her arms crossed.

He faltered. “W-what?”

She studied him. “For starters, you’re not exactly addressing me like a gentleman would a lady.”

Being accused of ungentlemanly behavior struck a chord, plucking at some forgotten lesson he’d learned as a boy. Drakken blinked and straightened his spine as if scolded to quit slouching. He cleared his throat to clear it of some of the harshness there and ventured, “How’s this?”

Her frown lessened. “It’s a start,” she decided.

When Shego unfolded her arms and stepped away, Drakken’s hand snapped out to snatch her by the wrist. “Now, wait a second, Shego,” he ordered. “I pay you to assist me, don’t I? I may need a woman’s touch—,” his eyes popped wide and he corrected himself, blurting, “—opinion! If I’m going to pull this off.”

Shego arched an eyebrow at him and shook him off as she took a step back. Drakken swore he was sweating bullets as she sized him up, and held onto his breath of relief when she shrugged and said, “Alright, Casanova. Show me what we’re workin’ with.” She cracked a smile of twisted amusement. “Charm me.” Was she mocking or was she serious?

Either way, Drakken blanched. What was he thinking, asking her for help? He took a nervous step away, wiping his sweaty face off on his sleeve but unknowingly smearing soot around instead. Failing to self-soothe, he smoothed his crispy hair back again and swallowed the cotton in his mouth before shooting a pair of finger guns at Shego and forcing a lopsided smile. “Come here often?” he asked, voice strained and throat tight. He cringed on his own behalf but didn’t give her the satisfaction of berating himself yet.

Shego groaned and covered her eyes. She took a moment, lips pressed into a tight line as she breathed deep through her nose to steel herself. Finally she sighed, “Oy, you are hopeless.” She may have called him hopeless, but she didn’t walk away from him in his time of need – even if it looked like she wanted to. He supposed the opportunity poke fun at an especially tender spot was worth her own suffering. “Try starting with a hi,” she advised.

Fists balled and huffing in exasperation, Drakken barely suppressed the urge to stomp away to find something to distract himself from his subpar performance as a charmer. He cleared his throat, gulped again, and took a long stride toward her, one hand behind his back and another outstretched as he gave a courteous bow. “Hello,” he enunciated as clearly and kindly as he could stomach, and waited with his mouth hanging open for anything else to follow. Nothing did. A nervous smile meddled with his act and he stood straight again, snickering as he admitted, “I don’t know what to say after that.”

To his surprise, Shego was hiding her own snicker behind her hand. “Oh, Doctor,” she said, so sweet and lofty he was sure his ears deceived him. He almost jerked away when she reached out to walk her fingers up his shoulder to find a comfortable place to grab on, pinky out as far as it would go. “Your thick luxurious eyebrow has me bewitched. You should wiggle it again.” She was really playing it up with the bat of her lashes – which didn’t help with the nervous stuttering of his heart.

Reflexively, he quirked his brow at the suggestion, and jerked his head out of reach when she mockingly traced a thumb over it.

“No, really,” she whispered, barely suppressing a laugh. “You should wiggle it. It’s freaking hilarious.”

Why he obliged to fuel her mockery was anyone’s guess. Shego burst out with a very unladylike laugh, striking her head into his chest once before shoving away and smothering her grin. “Cut!” she announced to the lab, signaling a T to no one with her hands for a time out. “Cut, cut, cut. Let’s start from the top.” A deep breath and she regained her composure.

Drakken stood baffled. If Shego was in the mood for a good joke, and being the funny guy was what worked to charm her – he grimaced at the idea of being made the joke. But earning the honor of getting a smile and a snort was too good an opportunity to pass.

“Of course, my dear,” he said, heaping on the flattery and charm as heavily as he could. “Where were we?”

Shego scoffed lightly and rolled her eyes. “You were about to sweep me off my feet with one of your famous ladykiller moves.”

“Right,” muttered Drakken, stroking his chin as one such avenue came to mind. Taking a page from his cousin’s book with his own twist, he closed the distance between them and took his sidekick by the hand before she could dodge his grasp. Out of the blue, he saw fit to ask, “You like salsa?”

Confusion crossed her face. “On tacos,” she blurted, but before she could ask how salsa was relevant to the mock practice, he raised her hand above her, twirling her into his arms. Thankfully Shego recognized what was happening – and Drakken was beyond relieved she played along nicely and kept her glow out of it – as he rolled her out like a whip before pulling her back with another dizzying twirl. He barely caught her small smirk at the childish familiarity.

The moment he swooped over to dip her, she latched onto him like a cat out of reflex to stop herself from falling, yelping a quick panicked, “Yo, watch it!”

“Oh, I’m only doing what you told me to,” crooned Dr. Drakken as smoothly as he could. It helped he was a little smug about it. “I swept you off your feet, didn’t I?”

The realization in her eyes gave way to amusement as she snickered, still held below him. She raised a hand to her forehead, humoring him, “You’ve done it, Doc. I’ve been swooned.”

He lost his composure. Seeing Shego letting some short-lived past in the high school drama club show through was too much for him. It didn’t help when she snorted and gave a wholehearted laugh and became a deadweight in his arms, mistakenly letting go of him completely. Her collapse and contagious laughing fit brought him down in short time, crashing to his knees and landing awkwardly over her before he rolled away and curled up to hold his stomach as he guffawed and wheezed for air.

Swooning Shego. That was laughable. And him? Pulling off charming a woman? He couldn’t even charm women for the sake of human nature, much less when something bigger like world domination depended on it.

His chest ached, and not so much because of the laughter.

He was hopeless.

Shego reigned it in first, catching her breath as she sat up behind him. “Alright, alright,” she said, still stifling her laughter and patting his shoulder. “Let’s just hurry up and get this over with, Prince Charming.”

Drakken sucked in another shuddering wheeze and pawed away tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I’ll just have to take my chances,” he decided as he picked himself up. “And hope I get lucky.”

“It’d take a lot of that for you to get lucky,” scoffed Shego, reaching out to smooth back a frayed end of his hair, still frizzled from the electric shock. The crude amusement in her eye almost eased the undue ache in his chest. She showed him the soot on the fingertips of her green glove and added, “You’ve got some cleaning up to do first, ladykiller, and I don’t mean your act.”

Drakken grunted in agreement, hopeful there was enough ash left to hide his flushed cheeks.

As he lead the way out of the lab, barely one step ahead of her, he gave a pensive hum and cast a curious glance back at Shego, the unpredictable woman still smirking down at the floor as the humor faded. “You should come to salsa class with me,” he said before he could actually think it through. “I think we’d have a lot of fun. A couple of the henchmen attend too, and—”

Cutting him off with a light scoff and roll of her eyes, Shego shut him down. “Hey, I’m cool with dancing, but I’m not getting roped into another one of your lame hobbies with you, Dr. D.”

He grunted again. “You don’t know what you’re missing,” he said with a lilt and flap of his hand as he took a big step ahead. For now, he let it go.

After all, he had to get his head in the game if he wanted to prove once and for all he had game.

[wisteriamoons]

Pinky Promise AU

Summary: Kotoha Lives AU! This is called the Pinky Promise AU. In a oneshot I wrote called “Pinky Promise,” Kotoha managed to escape Douma’s cult and live in a Wisteria House with an older woman named Himari. Shinjuro and a group of demon slayers stay one night a month later and Kotoha is given a final push to become a demon slayer and, eventually, a Pillar. You can just refer to this summary or feel free to look up “pinky promise au” tag on my blog(Lowkey scared to link it as ya’know posts with links tend to not show up in tags) 

Also if you are not fully caught up on the manga DO NOT PRESS ON unless you don’t mind spoilers!!

-Kotoha spends five years training in an undetermined breath at first, however, she finds it hard and wants something to fit her own feelings, so she makes her own breath style; Bell Breathing

-Inspired by the one-hundred and eight rings of the nearby Buddist bell on New Years Eve, she decides to make the style. She wants to inspire people like bells do, with a balanced form set and sweet, comforting sounds 

-Kotoha took to the bell motif seriously, even making a bracelet of small suzu bells and wearing it around her dominant wrist. The balls inside that make the bells ring are removable, making stealth missions easier

-Kotoha’s Nichirin Blade is colored a sort of pastel shade of yellow, and has aesthetic-only empty bell shells tied with a red ribbon on the end of the hilt. The guard is bell-shaped, naturally. 

-Her blade forager was in fact Haganezuka, being one of the few people who stuck around even with his more rather… extreme personality. She’s one of his first clients, and they have a fairly close friendship-- she always has mitarashi dango for him when he visits or when she visits. She hasn’t broken her blade thus far

-Her uniform is the usual one but with a under-the-knee-length skirt like Kanao’s. She wears yellow tabi with zori underneath. She has a dark blue haori with yellow/white suzu bell designs all over it. She also wears her hair in a tight bun with a comb kinzashi with purple flowers and blue ribbon--she considers it a good luck charm. She also wears a bird masquerade mask and a cloth to wrap her hair in to cover her identity when on slaying missions, because,

-Kotoha is mainly into undercover and stealth missions due to her flexibility and natural beauty, making her fit in just about anywhere. She wears a kimono and more plain haori when out on such missions. No one suspects such a beautiful and gentle woman! 

-Inosuke loves the sound of bells while growing up ‘cause they remind him heavily of his mother. He starts collecting various bells at the age of seven, keeping them in his room in the Hashibira Estate. Tanjiro finds this sweet while Zenitsu laughs at him for being so rough yet has such a soft hobby. Inosuke might’ve whacked him a couple times because of this

-Kotoha is a mother first, demon slayer second. Never changes, even after she becomes a Pillar

-Speaking of which, it only takes her up to a year to become a Pillar. She kept on insisting to take jobs, so her demon count rose very quickly. She also mastered Total Concentration within weeks with Himari and her mentor’s help

-Her and Inosuke have a very very close familial bond. They tell each other almost everything with no hesitance and do many things together. They might have one argument every few months, but it’s usually over something silly and it’s resolved quickly

-Hell, Kotoha even offered to teach him Bell Breathing but he refused, having already started to develop his own technique (which would be obviously Beast Breathing)

-Kotoha is without a doubt one of if not the first Pillar to trust Nezuko. She trusts her son unwaveringly with every vein in her body, and if he trusts her, then she does too

-Because of her Pillar status, her Estate is close to the Butterfly Estate and she has a close relationship with the Kocho sisters. She cares a lot for them, and mothered them a lot, seeing them also as daughters she never had

-She also has a close relationship with the Rengoku family, Shinjuro being an older brother to her and Ruka like a sister, and Kyojuro and Senjuro being nephews. Though they also saw her a second mother on occasion. Shinjuro helps Kotoha get used to being a Pillar and gave her advice before his wife’s death and subsequent alcoholism. Their relationship becomes strained after this, for obvious reasons

-On a lighter note, this means Inosuke is much closer to Kyojuro and Senjuro, having grown up with them, he sees them as brothers--making Kyojuro’s death a little more harder :)

-Speaking upon Inosuke, Inosuke has his original personality and abilities intact, but with more… class?

-He still likes to be competitive and has a stupidly high temper, but he’s also not constantly headbutting people and has slight more consideration of others. Also doesn’t have his boar head, and wears the normal demon slaying uniform (though has a habit of discarding the upper layer, and usually doesn’t wear a haori unless it’s winter). Still dumb as rocks though

-He also still prefers his swords chipped, but his original swords being chipped was from training too much with normal swords and found that when they’re chipped they cut better to him (plus lets be real he likes how they look) When he deliberately chips his new ones Kotoha does scold him for it for disrespecting his sword and sword maker, though admittedly found it just a tiny bit amusing

-He also adored animals as a child, finding boars especially to be really cool and studied their movements a lot along with other animals, which influenced him in many, many ways

-Inosuke can’t help but perhaps sometimes feel a little inferior compared to his mother. Don’t get me wrong, he loves her with every goddamn breath and won’t hesitate to tell her, but sometimes he feels he can’t match her skill. Kotoha tries to treat him equally but sometimes her constant mothering and protectiveness can be grating

-Kotoha holds a heavy grudge against Douma for basically fucking with her, and it only grows deeper after Kanae’s death. She’s in on Shinobu’s poisoning plan, and while she’s against it she knows she can’t stop Shinobu. Makes Shinobu’s death hard on Kotoha because she knows she should’ve been more assertive, but also knows it was what Shinobu wanted

-Inosuke still has a tight platonic bond with Shinobu, though he sees her more of a sister than a mother for obvious reasons. He also has a soft spot for Kanao, and while she’s older than him he still treats her like a little sister anyway. He was probably the first person she met around her age after being adopted into the Kocho family. Inosuke wasn’t too close to Kanae, but was also saddened and angry after her passing by a demon’s hands

-Inosuke is also on pretty decent terms with the little sister trio (they like to play with his hair, he lets them while he eats usually), though has a sort of tough relationship with Aoi since they both tend to clash heads. A bit of a crumb for you AoIno(?) shippers, but the two are on decently friendly terms, finding each other tolerable enough, they’re just both stubborn

-Kotoha also never tells Inosuke, at least not at first, why they lived in a Wisteria House and why Himari wasn’t his real grandma despite thinking she was. She fears it might bring him trauma or nightmares, big plus she doesn’t want him going after Douma

-It was a slight bit of a hassle for Inosuke to make his mother agree to making him a demon slayer too; she was obviously worried for his safety, but eventually wore down, but made him promise he try to be as careful as possible. This is obviously not followed through for many reasons, but we already know them so I won’t go into too much detail

-Treats pretty much almost everyone younger than her like her children in some way, shape, or form. She’s a heavy mother figure to everyone and wears this with pride (even if she sometimes doesn’t realize it)

-In fact, Zenitsu, Kyojuro, and Mitsuri are big offenders on accidentally calling her mom. It’s less accidental for Kyojuro as he knows he sees her as a mother and has been doing it ever since they met (‘cause children do that, it’s just grown to be a habit at this point, and plus Ruka never minded so it doesn’t bother him) though he’s more likely to call her “Aunt Koto” around others by now

-She’s close to Mitsuri and they sometimes swap feminine advice and cook together, and Mitsuri isn’t as embarrassed by calling her mom now than she was the first time she did. They have a tight bond and Kotoha sees her as the daughter she never had, exchanging secrets as well

-Zenitsu has an unclear past, so I hc that his parents were probably neglectful or died by the time of his debt. So, Kotoha becomes the mother figure he hasn’t had/never had in a long time. He def didn’t realize it at first and became heavily flustered and mortified. Kotoha found it adorable. Inosuke isn’t a big fan of this btw aksjasj but he tolerates it a little more as time goes on

-Zenitsu has had such a big helping of respect women juice because of Kotoha that he is less flirtatious and weird about girls, though his love for Nezuko doesn’t waver in the slightest 

-Tanjiro also sees her as a mother, heavily reminding him of his own mother in fact. He respects her a lot, and even has platonic affection for her, especially after she so quickly accepts Nezuko despite her hate against demons

-She smells like freshly baked bread and flowers, and has a calming presence. She has a sweet sound to her, like suzu bells, as Zenitsu puts it

-Also she teaches Tanjiro how to properly take care of Nezuko’s hair and the like so Nezuko’s hair isn’t always a rat’s nest when they come back to the Estates

-Nezuko, speaking of, like Tamayo sees Kotoha as her own mother. Thus, Nezuko always feels calm around her and lets her wash her clothes and brush her hair

-Sanemi and Genya have subconscious drawings towards her, as the pattern keeps going, they see a lot of their own mom in her. While neither of them have called her mom ‘cause it’s painful to even think about, there’s no doubt they’ve had fleeting thoughts about her being a mom to them

-Muichiro also subconsciously sees her as a mother, with his memories gone he has no qualms about it but he doesn’t let it slip out loud. Likes it when she brushes his hair though. After his memories begin to return he doesn’t regret thinking of her as a mother

-Giyuu doesn’t have many maternal feelings, finding her protective nature to be a bit overwhelming, however he doesn’t hate her. In fact, Kotoha doesn’t hate him at all and loves him a lot. I think maybe he might see his sister in her a little actually

-Uzui has zero maternal feelings towards her as well, in fact he probably flirted with her a little. Nothing huge or meaningful, just harmless, it’s who he is. She never really realized it anyway, seeing him as just being nice, and cared enough but not enough to see him as a son. Saw her techniques as flamboyant, of course, and she was saddened by his departure from the Pillars

-Obanai feels a little… indifferent? Towards her? Like, he doesn’t hate her, but I don’t think he’d quite see her as a mother figure either. He does admire her drive though, and she cares about him enough to make them good partners in combat if need be

-Gyomei doesn’t have maternal feelings towards her either, since they’re extremely close in age, same for Kotoha. But he still does also admire her, tbh I can see them being more like just good friends and confidants. Being the two oldest Pillars they have much in common

-Kotoha and Ubuyashiki have a typical follower/leader relationship, considering he’s much younger than her she doesn’t see him as a father figure, but she does admire him a lot and is extremely loyal to him. She also finds his kids to be adorable and is friendly with his wife (Edit: I realize Kotoha most likely met him when he was 13-14, so yeah, def doesn’t see him as a father figure or anything. Probably thought he was adorable too aksjaksj)

-You want to face off both mother and son? Don’t.

-Seriously, don’t. 

-You’ll regret it.

-See, they’re both ferociously protective of each other, and bounce off each other so well it’s fuckin bonkers! They go hand-in-hand, easily matching their breaths and everything. They’re like a machine together in battle. When they’re on their own they do well but when they’re together they do exceptionally. It’s both amazing and downright terrifying

-Need advice? Need a shoulder to cry on? Kotoha has your back

-Also, at least once a month all Pillars and any visiting demon slayers are invited to a feast at Kotoha’s, cooked by the woman herself and occasionally with the help of Mitsuri and Shinobu. The Ubuyashiki’s are always invited, but they never really make it. It’s still one night without any worry, just bonding time and fun, and that’s what matters

-Mother and son constantly write each other letters when apart, no matter how many miles are in between them, and give them to their crow to deliver. If one party doesn’t reply after the given time, the other is instantly going to look for them no matter what

-Also, I hc that Inosuke has ADHD and social anxiety. Kotoha is very patient with him and helps him through the daily struggles they bring, and he’s so grateful for this. 

-While I don’t have any ships in mind for this au (except perhaps KanTan and ZenNezu, maybe AoIno if you squint), if anyone wants to take this au and mold it to their own ship (within reason--if I find you use this au to ship pedo/incest I will find you) I give you full permission. However, if you find yourself shipping Kotoha with anyone, I would like to note that she has a few walls put up due to the abuse she suffered, and it isn’t too easy for her to fall in love

Bell Breathing and it’s Techniques/Forms

-Bell Breathing involves a lot of speed, along with agility and grace. Kotoha became more flexible and obviously more quicker, along with some muscle. It involves many parries, quick strikes and counters.

-Kotoha developed this with her newly gained strength and her natural swiftness in mind, along with her warm personality

-There are currently six forms, three mainly defense and three offense. 

-First Form: Voided Ringing- The user steps out of range of an attack before replacing it with their sword, slashing in an upwards motion at whatever the enemy was about to attack with

-Second Form: Suzu Dance- The user advances on their opponent slashing their blade in swift, shallow motions, aiming mainly for the arms 

-Third Form: Crotal Advance- The user blocks their entire body with their blade, using all their strength, and then they twist the blade to slash whatever is attacking them

-Fourth Form: Chiming Deflection- The user deflects attacks in a circular motion with quick succession

-Fifth Form: Quiet Ringing in Winter- Much like Blessed Rain after the Drought, this move is used when an enemy surrenders, making it a swift and painless death, making a soft sound like jingle bells during Christmas--or, rather, like suzu bells during a Kagura dance

-Sixth Form: The Death Bell Tolls- The user goes as fast as possible, quite like they’re dancing around their opponent and then strike from the air, going straight for the neck in one swift round motion, making a sound like the ringing of a bell 

Extra: I made Bell Breathing without one breath in mind as I researched different sword techniques and looked at all the breathing styles, and while I’ve been leaning towards Wind, Thunder/Sound or Water, but if anyone has an idea I’m open to hearing it

[purplesurveys]

1063

survey by pinkchocolate

Have you done any of the same things as me this year? (2020 edition)

Planned a shopping spree with a friend?

Visited a shopping centre/mall? Malls are extremely commonplace here and honestly they already serve as the main tourist attractions if you find yourself in Manila, which is why Manila has never been a popular tourist destination itself (foreign tourists usually head to neighboring provinces, which is smart on their end). I’ve been to malls at least 20-30 times this year, but that’s only because of the pandemic. I probably go close to 50-70 times in a normal year.

Had lunch with a friend? Yeah I caught lunch with Angela a couple times at the start of the year. I had a one-photo-a-day gimmick on Instagram, and I’m pretty sure I have a photo of her in there during one of our lunch dates.

Ordered pizza at a restaurant? Again, at the start of the year. Gab and I loved Italian restaurants so we definitely ordered pizza several times.

Been in a department store? I needed to briefly enter one a couple of weeks ago to look for gift wrappers.

Bought pretty new lingerie?

Had coffee with a friend? Yeah Gab and I had study dates at coffee shops every single week. Now, obviously, I just take myself.

Bought DVDs?

Had a cold?

Bought toiletries as a gift for someone else?

Had dinner in a restaurant with your family? Yeah I’m fairly certain we did this at least a couple of times between January and early March. The last time I dined in anywhere was a month ago, but I was only with my parents and my siblings didn’t come along.

Had one of your kitchen appliances break? Our plumbing is a little fucked in general and sometimes we’ll have minor leaks on the floor. My dad’s knives have also gotten a bit dull, so I got him a new knife set for Christmas. But no damage to appliances.

Watched a movie at the cinema?

Struggled for food when the panic buying began? We struggled in that it was a bitch to enter the groceries at first. My dad did the grocieries for us during that time and that was back when they strictly enforced the number of people allowed in the supermarket at one time; and no matter how early he queued, there was always already a line that got there before him. He’d wait around three hours and once he was finally let in, a bunch of alleys or sections in the grocery would already be empty or at least close to becoming empty. We never went hungry or had to skip meals or anything like that, but I do remember having to make do with lesser-known brands we never used before because sometimes those would be the only options left at the grocery.

Wanted to hug a friend, but didn't because you had to social distance? I hugged Angela when I saw her a couple of days ago, and I also hugged Gab when we were still together. 

Felt afraid of Covid? My fears over it have tamed over the year, to be honest; but I’m still wary, of course. I hate it when people stand near me and I follow the safety protocols everywhere I go.

Felt afraid to leave the house? Only during the peak of the virus, from March to around May or June. Nowadays I kinda have to go out every now and then for the sake of my sanity.

Deliberately avoided watching the news because it made you feel upset? I mean I took up journ lol so I always watch the news, no matter how upsetting it can get. The one and only time I remember asking my sister to switch the channel was when there was a report on animal abuse.

Had to cancel plans for your birthday? I didn’t have plans for it in the first place, or at least I didn’t have the chance to make them yet, so I’m glad there was nothing to cancel.

Spent your birthday at home? This was the only choice I had. My birthday fell on the most serious and strictest phase of the quarantine, and this was back when nothing was open yet.

Collected a parcel from your doorstep? Online shopping is a norm for me now, lol. I used to not trust it, but now I probably buy at least one item a week.

Eaten an entire box of chocolates in one day? I don’t even like chocolate that much. That sounds so uncomfortably sweet.

Drank fruit flavoured cider?

Eaten birthday cake? Sure, we had cake for my mom’s, my aunt’s, and my cousin’s/godson’s birthdays.

Had a grandparent move into long-term care? My remaining grandparents are all fortunately still very healthy.

Kept a journal of your thoughts and feelings during lockdown? This is technically it, whether’s there’s a lockdown or not. I tried starting a journal after my breakup, but I couldn’t keep it up because my wrist strains easily from handwriting now, hahaha. I find that doing surveys suffice.

Had distressing dreams/nightmares related to the pandemic? No, but about other pressing events in my life.

Felt concerned about your financial situation? Not mine but my family’s.

Returned to a social platform that you took a break from? I left Facebook for a few months after the breakup. I’m back on it again because I had missed the memes, but I also want to permanently delete that account for good, open a new one, and just add the people I want to keep having in my circle. Like I love Gabie’s family to death but I don’t see the point in being Facebook friends with them still, and it actually feels kinda awkward now still seeing them on my list. Idk. We’ll see. I might keep my account or start a new one altogether.

Missed a past hobby or interest? I mean I missed going to malls and bars and going out with my friends, if that counts as an interest. I had to do much less of that this year.

Started a new hobby? I started doing embroidery about a month ago, and a few days ago I started working out. My body is as sore as all fuck, but at least it makes me feel good about myself. For the new year, I also plan on starting a skincare routine after 22 years of not doing anything with my face lol and maybeeee start experimenting with coffee and buy different kinds of beans just because?? Idk, I have a lot of cute hobbies planned out for next year haha I’m excited to see how it goes.

Joined some new Facebook groups? Both for work and personal purposes, yep.

Made some new friends online? I definitely like that I’ve become closer and more familiar with the survey community here. I feel like I barely interacted with anyone pre-Covid, when real life was still a bit more hectic and when it was more difficult to find time to relax and sit down and read everyone’s answers. I also became friends with Justine, Angel, and Bianca when I started as an intern at my workplace.

Felt annoyed because you saw someone without a mask? Everyone wears a mask in public, and there are always people assigned to monitor and lightly scold those stubborn enough to take their masks off. So this isn’t the case, but what I do find annoying is when people stand or walk too close to you. Just last week at the grocery this lady was close enough to be breathing down my neck when I was lining up at the cashier; being non-confrontational for the most part, it felt like being in the deepest pit of hell.

Felt like people were staring at you when you wore a mask? I feel like people are more likely to stare at people who DON’T have a mask. 

Bought new stationery? My sister has tons of stationery in her room for whatever reason; when I need one to write short notes or letters, I just ask for some from her. 

Video-called your extended family and friends? For sure. We did this a lot especially during the earlier parts of the year.

Written a letter to someone you missed?

Disagreed with the behaviour of a friend?

Felt surprised when someone wanted to be your friend? No one directly said it to me; but as an intern on my first day of the job, it was a really pleasant surprise to find that the co-interns I was going to be with weren’t boring, unemotional cogs who just aimed to do work. They were HILARIOUS from the get-go, was confused as fuck about work, and I could see they just wanted to make our tiny intern family a close-knit and happy group, to which I gladly agreed and went along with.

Bought a new pair of shoes? I got new shoes meant for my first job interview, but I haven’t gotten any brand new sneakers in a while :(

Replaced some toiletries that you ran out of during lockdown? I guess? Toiletries are necessities, so.

Bought some new books? I read new ones, but I didn’t buy them. Some I saw copies of on the internet; one was given as a gift to me.

Bought new cosmetics? I don’t use those.

Received a belated birthday present?

Received a present from a friend overseas?

Discovered a new author that you liked?

Felt like you were drifting away from people you were once close to? *A person. Yeah, well.

Found out that someone you knew had contracted Covid?  She’s a mutual friend from my high school days. We aren’t close but we’ve kept in touch by still following each other on social media. She wrote about her experience with Covid on a blog entry.

Realised you had formed a deep connection with someone? I got a lot closer with Andi both because we had to work together for our thesis and because they were there for me, unconditionally and untiringly, when I was coping with my breakup and was in rough shape.

Worried about the financial situation of someone close to you? Of my family, like I said, yes. We had to sell the Vitara because the money that pours into the household monthly isn’t enough to keep paying for it. To be fair, that car was a very big impulse buy by my dad, so we didn’t and don’t feel too bad about losing it hahaha. 

Let your guard down to someone? I don’t think so. I was on red alert this year since Gab increasingly broke my trust.

Had an issue with something on social media? Yeah, but I don’t want to get into it. That was such a long time ago and is so irrelevant now.

Felt disconnected from others? I deliberately did so three months ago, so much so that I had acquaintances I barely talked to since graduating talk to Andi and ask where I’ve been.

Changed your internet provider? We’ve had the same one for like 8-9 years now. It works pretty okay for five people who stream videos all day, so we haven’t felt the need to switch.

Felt fortunate/thankful? I mean I’m here, scar-less, and happy with myself on December 31, 2020, right?

Tried some new foods that you enjoyed? Baked sushi is so fucking good.

Re-read a book that you loved? Crazy Is My Superpower by AJ Mendez (aka my favorite girl wrestler, AJ Lee) is always a good read to come back to.

[landeg]

31 Days of Apex: A Retrospection

I participated in the incredible #31DaysOfApex challenge hosted on Twitter, where fans created new content for every day of July based on a one-word prompt. I’ve signed up for/started lots of similar challenges in the past but always ended up having to drop out or trail off before the end... but this time, I managed to complete something for every day of the challenge!

My only goal was to make something by each day’s deadline, and it was a really interesting exercise both in technical skill and also in my management of not only my time, but my expectations and energy. Below, I go into more detail behind each piece.

To preface; the beginning of this challenge coincided with the beginning of a new personal time-management exercise where, for 5/7 days a week, I would only go on the computer at night. Combined with the deadline, this had an interesting effect on my time management and the quality of certain pieces.

Day 1 - Memory

From the start, I wanted to use the challenge as an opportunity to do more studies and to push myself wherever possible. This was the first piece I did and I had more time to work on it, so I used it as a digital painting study. I still think it’s a strong piece and it’s probably my favourite of the month. Symbolically, this character’s backstory doesn’t match up with her own memories, so the idea is she’s missing information she can’t quite place or remember, and this both scares and comforts her.

Day 2 - Blood

Another digital painting and lighting study that didn’t work out as well as the first, mostly due to time constraints meaning I couldn’t scrap it and start again. While I don’t like how it turned out, I did learn a lot. The character on the right is a field medic, and my intent was to show the calm after a successful rescue.

Day 3 - Mercy

Some days I relied more on the humour of a piece’s concept than the skill of its execution, though I also liked how this piece turned out artistically. After two days of intense studies, though, this was very quick and easy for me to turn out as it relied on existing skills.

Day 4 - Prize

This one thankfully came together very quickly, which I credit to the two previous painting studies making it much easier to achieve what I wanted. The character is searching for the disembodied head of the man who killed her parents, who is now acting as a robot, hence the vaguely half-machine-half-human silhouette in her hand.

Day 5 - Family

Another quick, simple illustration under a time crunch. The character framed by the nameless foreground figures has no memory of herself or her family.

Day 6 - Noise

For some pieces where I was under a time crunch, I experimented in an opposite direction; instead of studies, I played loosely with different techniques/brushes/etc to see what came out. This was a lineless style I ended up employing a lot when short on time. The piece pictured here was just one of four alternate colourways, presented in a pop-art style. The character is almost always depicted with thick coverings over her ears, so I thought she might be sensitive to auditory overload. This particular piece was retweeted by the character’s voice actress!

Day 7 - Mask

More relying on humour for lack of time/a better idea. A fun experiment in colour, though.

Day 8 - Healing

Another technically “easy” piece but with a stronger concept. It was actually pretty hard to get the reflection & condensation elements balanced right. The character pictured has a narrative thread relating to an old ex he has trouble moving on from.

Day 9 - Weapon

While obviously another joke, and made to be finished quickly, it was surprisingly difficult to get the duct tape and knife to read clearly without over-cluttering the lineless image. This little ‘bot is a drone used by one of the playable characters to hack areas of the map; it’s not NORMALLY an offensive weapon. This image was promo’d in a video stream by the character’s voice actor!

Day 10 - Truth

I only had less than an hour to finish this one by the deadline, but I still tried to experiment with silhouette and colour. It was surprisingly hard to get the interior silhouette to be legible. The outer silhouette is a playable character (not easily readible unless you’re familiar with his design) and the inner silhouette is his sister, whose disappearance he is trying to investigate.

Day 11 - Shield

A fun, self-indulgent one. Had a blast simplifying the game’s characters down into little caricatures. The character in the centre has abilities related to shields and protection, so many other people were drawing him for the prompt; I wanted to try and flip it, so I picked other characters he would be friendly with, and picked a non-lethal, lighthearted setting.

Day 12 - Ruins

Short on time so did a quick lighting study. A recent game plot has changed one of the areas of the map, submerging it in water and leaving it to “ruin”.

Day 13 - Hero

Another painting study. Really didn’t like how this one turned out, but had to turn in something, and I did learn a lot in the process. If I’d had more time I probably would’ve scrapped it and started again. This characters had recently been revealed to have been manipulated by another character who used gas-based offenses, whom she admired.

Day 14 - Rest

I was going to be away from mt computer until after the deadline, so I decided to make a traditional piece. I ended up enjoying it so much I tried to take the time to do a few more traditional pieces later. This piece was sort of a comedy of errors; I had to do it while I was out, and the pen I had brought with me to ink my sketch ran out, so I had to make do with a blue ballpoint pen, and I was missing several colours of coloured pencil. I think the finished piece reflects how rushed it was, and it did’t meet my concept, but I do still like it.

Day 15 - Skull

Another quick one but I wanted to experiment with a different line style. Wanted a sort of “graffiti” effect. One of this character’s skins includes a skull-shaped mask.

Day 16 - Growth

Extremely quick play on words because I didn’t have the time to work on anything meaningful and couldn’t think of anything better!

Day 17 - Home

Another traditional piece, this time by choice and with more time. Markers. It looks extremely like some janky art school homework on 2 point perspective because it extremely is. Perspective and backgrounds are very difficult for me - they just don’t “click” - but I had a lot of fun with this one. I kept my mistakes intact because I didn’t want to edit it too much. A lot about the technical perspective is wrong, but I think I achieved the “mood” I wanted. This location is a bar owned by one of the player characters where many of the other characters are shown to meet.

Day 18 - Sky

Very happy with how this one turned out, even though there are still lots of problems. Markers again. There’s a lot I would fix next time, and I think technically it’s lacking, but there are some specific areas I feel happy to have achieved, such as the almost brushed texture of the curved metal above his shoulder and the values of the shadow/reflections on the underside of the head piece. I’m also happy with how I was able to draw from my shoulder rather than my wrist when inking the curved lines, something I struggle with.

Day 19 - Target

An experiment in pushing the lineless style I’d already been playing with for a stronger likeness. The pose and expression in this could both be pushed more but I like the result. This character had just learned that one of the other players, whom she had trusted, was actually sharing her secrets with her enemy, and she didn’t know which one it was.

Day 20 - Friendship

I had this one concepted from when I first looked over the prompts. It was a fun challenge trying to simplify all the elements into the lineless, blocky style while being legible. This character has a strained relationship with one of his friends, and finally pushed her too far with his selfishness, and she now no longer responds to him.

Day 21 - Scar

Quick joke. This character was introduced briefly as a red herring for another character before being killed off. He was stabbed through the chest by another character’s hand, hence the scar pattern.

Day 22 - Dream

I wasn’t sure about this one while I was making it but I ended up liking how it turned out. I wanted to capture the character’s robotic legs bent at an unnaturally straight 90 degrees, like a Barbie doll. The flat background and lighting make it feel like an indoor stage. The little “electric sheep” are inspired by iDogs.

Day 23 - Meal

After a few days of not having time to really spend on any piece, it was fun to get to spend time on concepting and composing this. I always admired these kinds of watercolour-like food illustrations and this is the first time I’ve had any success in creating one myself. I concepted and sketched out the individual items traditionally before working out the composition within the box digitally. Each food item/utensil is inspired by the different characters’ design elements. Only two of the now-current characters are excluded due to plot reasons. In particular, I like how one of the character’s dome-shaped shields acts as the base and cover of the box.

Day 24 - Hobby

Wasn’t a fan of how this one turned out. I think the likeness is a bit off, and his facial anatomy is skewed. But I also like how the general composition, tone, and bee turned out. This character’s concept art originally imagined them as a beekeeper who would use smoke to fight.

Day 25 - Fear

An incredibly rushed piece that I intended to go back in and add more detail to, similar to day 4, but I actually took a step back and decided I liked the blocky, flat-colour version. This character is the youngest of four, all of whom are MIA or worse, along with his father, and his mother is losing her memory. He’s talking to her through a handheld holographic device. This piece gained more traction, most likely thanks to the subject matter since this is a popular character.

Day 26 - Holiday

I didn’t want to do a religious holiday like Christmas or Easter. A lot of other people also interpreted the prompt as a vacation, but I had already done a sort of “beach vacation” piece for day 11, so I instead went for a “public holiday” and chose NYE/NYD. This was fairly quick but the lighting was an interesting experiment. I knew this one wouldn’t be as popular because it wasn’t as “flattering” but I personally really like it. The girl on the left is kind of goofy and completely un-self-conscious and I think it’s captured here.

Day 27 - Music

Really didn’t like how this one turned out. I don’t think the likeness is good at all, the lighting is poor, and the gold detailing feels lazy. But I liked other elements, such as the pose and the clothing.

Day 28 - Treasure

This is my least favourite of the entire month, but I also had the least time available to work on it before the deadline so I had no opportunity to scrap it and start over, which I sorely wanted to do. The likeness is terrible, but more than that the base anatomy is off, the pose is stiff, and the lighting/colours are cheap. I wish I could’ve done better by this character; but, I am glad I had something finished at all.

Day 29 - Skin

This was probably my third attempt at this picture and I’m still not happy with it, but again, I had to finish something. I almost considered scrapping the concept entirely and choosing something easier but ended up seeing it through. The concept itself is actually recycled from an older piece of mine for an entirely different fandom, because I didn’t think I did it justice then, either. Would still like to revisit this concept with this character and take more time.

Day 30 - Trust

After a few days of feeling really dissatisfied and uncomfortable with the art I’d been making, I finally more time to dedicate to a piece, and I’m overall happy with how this one turned out. I decided to go for a different medium entirely with pixel art, which also gave me the opportunity to try and animate it. I started off confident and then started to get worried towards the end, but all the elements came together when I added the portal colour effects. This is an alternate reality version of one of the player characters, who appears through a portal and allows that character to escape the facility she’s being kept in, encouraging them to trust the “voices” she hears which are actually versions of herself trying to help her. This piece was retweeted by the official Apex Legends Twitter account!

Day 31 - Freestyle

I had this planned out early in the challenge and I’m really, really happy with how it turned out. It’s probably tied with my favourite along with the very first piece (how fitting). I was worried about how I was going to capture the movement without over-complicating the lineart, having so many people in one image, etc. before I realised the focus was entirely on gesture, and then everything clicked. I went for a thicker brush, which forced me to conserve my lines, and tried to simplify each character down to the bare minimum needed to recognise them. They’re also all wearing new non-canonical outfits so I used their familiar colour schemes for the same purpose. It’s not perfect, but I love it, and it’s everything I’d hoped I’d be able to end the challenge on.

I really, really enjoyed the entire month and the way it tied in with my new time management schedule. It gave me some achievable short-term goals which added up to this long-term achievement I can now look back on; I learned a lot both about balancing my energy and about technical skills, I found ways to stay motivated, and most importantly I learned to not get caught up on the individual slip-ups and pieces I didn’t like as much and to instead focus on the bigger picture. Thank you to everyone involved in organising and supporting this event! I found so many other incredible fanartists, writers, and content creators through this challenge and I can’t wait to see the bonus content released over August!

[trying-write-fanfics]

OverhaulXreader part 23

Time went on. Gramps got a granddaughter. He stayed away though due to the strained relationship. He still had Kai. Y/n would come over here and there, and even cooked for gramps sometimes.

The add-on bakery was stressful to say the least. Y/n was working double time for the restaurant and starting the bakery. Menu, ingredients, advertising, permits, inspections, and management were all struggling. Those were the problems Y/n was trying to control. Then there was villain activity which was also stressing her out. They were just people using their quirks and destroying buildings and stealing. Organized crime was a lot less annoying, they didn’t involve civilians like Y/n. Sometimes she had to take a different route home or wait for subways to get repaired. Witness reports also took up her time.

Though her least favorite was the hostage situation. Mainly because all she wanted to do was cash a check out to have a fun weekend with friends on a holiday. Some villain who has never robbed a back shot the ceiling and told everyone to get down.

“I need a hostage-you” the villain pointed at her.

He grabbed her by the wrist and held the gun to her throat. She had mixed feelings, one being scared, the other being done with life. There was no easy day and she was a little done with life.

“C'mon this way.” The man said.

How did these situations happen? Sometimes she wishes she was a zombie detective or at least had a cool quirk to defend herself. Her mind was nowhere near where her actual body was.

“Maybe after this you and I could go on a date, I got money.” The man said.

“Yeah, we’re gonna tell our grandkids that grandpa went to jail for shooting grandma at the bank?” She sassily said.

“You didn’t have to be such a-“

A police officer took them out like an American football player. Her shoulder popped when the three hit the floor.

Luckily Y/n was going to a hot spring resort with some girl friends. They were from the choir group, but the ones they were around her age. She however bought her own separate room. They gossiped, laughed, and truly relaxed in the communal spring. It was all nice and she felt the stress melting away. In a robe she went to her hotel bed and just laid on it. She let her legs hang off the side. The phone rang and it was her non labeled love.

“Saw you were on the news.” Kai said on the other side without a hello.

“I can’t even cash a check without someone rubbing their damn quirks or guns in my face.” She groaned .

“Come over tonight. I got you a bottle of wine.”

“Sorry handsome, I’m at a resort this weekend.”

“You’re what?”

“Girls from my choir group thought it would be fun to sit in a hot spring together.”

“Did you get naked with those old ladies?”

“No younger girls joined my group awhile back.”

“You know you’re sitting in your own filth in those baths.”

“Good thing I couldn’t come over this weekend.” She told him.

“You could shower in my shower.” He offered.

“Is that your attempt at foreplay?”

“I can try can’t I?”

“I do miss you.” She told him, making sure the air was clear.

“What day are you coming back?”

“Why, you miss me?”

“I haven’t seen you since your period incident.” He told her.

“Work has been hard. Sometimes I wish I was just a housewife without any kids. Like maybe I have hobbies like I garden and I smile and wave at people and it’s enough contribution to society.” She rambled.

“You know-“

“I don’t mean it Kai. I’d be so bored. I’d have to have like a small army of kids to be the same amount of work as this bakery.”

“So when can I see you again?”

“I’ll let you know after the trip. I've been working overtime last month.” She whined.

“I’ll be waiting for you. Are you fine with the whole hostage situation that happened?”

It was weird hearing Kai being emotionally worried.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams angel.”

Y/n had a nice time and the weekend ended. Some of her choir friends joined her to clean the new

Bakery. They bought the building, and now they had to clean it.

“So, you seeing anyone Y/n? My brother was kinda interested at the last concert.”

“Uh-yeah I am.”

“Ooh a boyfriend?”

“No...he’s uh.”

“So you’re not seeing anyone or you’re talking about….” her friend trailed off.

“Is he a lame ass no labels type of guy? Y/n you’re so hard working you deserve someone who wants to give it their all!” Her other friend said.

“It’s not like that, we just haven’t talked about that.” She tried to explain.

“Wait are you like that? I never took you for someone so casual, Y/n.”

“It’s not like that.”

The subject died down, but Y/n couldn’t stop thinking about what her and Kai were. He called her his angel, but never his girlfriend. After the hard work, the girls started drinking, and not thinking, Y/n took the subway to the main compound. She was looking for Kai. She knocked the door over a million times and Pops answered.

“Y/n, what are you doing here, it’s the middle of the night?”

“Oh my god, I’m looking for Kai and looking back at it I should have just texted or called or, something instead of showing up, but I really wanna talk to him, is he here? I saw a dead rat on the subway.” She drunkly rambled.

“Kai should be home soon, why not wait with me.”

“Okay.” She started crying because that’s just how drunk she was.

The two sat at couches as they tried to play shogi. Instead Pops let her pretend to know what she was doing as she talked.

“I just don’t know Pops, what are Kai and I? He’s so cute and he’s so nice to me, but he doesn’t even want me talking to his crew. God every time I talk about him I make him sound like a hip hop rapper.” She sobbed.

“Well when he gets here you can ask him, but I promise you, Kai likes you very much.” Pops promised.

“Yeah? When he gets old is he gonna own a koi pond and just feed the fish all day?” Y/n asked.

“I’m not sure.”

“I’m in a choir group to make friends and there’s a bunch of old ladies, maybe you might want to meet them if you’re not seeing anyone. I know you lost your wife to cancer.” She was still sobbing but Pops wasn’t judging. “And I told them that if they don’t find anyone at the retirement home I’ll take them clubbing and I’m not ready for clubbing with anyone.”

“Kai won’t make you go clubbing.”

“He’s such a prince, you raised him right.”

The front door unlocked and the awkward situation for Pops to be over. It was not the man of the hour, but instead Chrono.

“Oh my god, it’s you, the guy who bought a gun from my mom.” She was still sobbing.

“You don’t remember my name?” Chrono asked.

“No, I’m drunk and conflicted about so many things.”

“Chrono why not keep Y/n company, I’m old and tired”.

“Goodnight pops.” Y/n said like a person.

“This situation keeps happening. You drunk, me sober.”

“Oh my god, where is Kai?”

“He is taking care of some final things, I thought I would leave some paper work here.”

“Does he talk about me?”

“No because he told us not to talk about you, remember that?”

“I don’t even remember your name, and want me to remember things. Does he even like me?”

“Yes. That is an easy one.”

“You think he thinks I’m cute.”

“I would bet money on that.”

“I saw a dead rat on the subway and I thought that was an omen for my death and Kai showing up to my funeral saying he’s my friend and my mom is gonna be like damn wish he would have said more because she knows on the down low him and I are you know…”

“Wait you think Kai is gonna speak at your funeral.”

“He’s gotta be a leader. He’d be like Y/n was sufficient at cooking and she made people smile, her only downfall was having periods.”

“I’m sure he knows that periods are inevitable.”

“You were friends with him after I left, you there when school gave him the puberty talk? We’re they honest?” Y/n asked.

“Let’s call him to make sure he knows the truth about periods.”

“No, I’m too drunk to make phone calls.”

“But not too drunk to go to someone’s house?”

“I just feel like if I explained my system, you wouldn’t understand.”

“I would travel with you.”

“Girls trip!” She sang. “But on the real real, I don’t know if you could handle my thunder I love hotel rooms and pools.”

“Is that a-“

“Oh my god, that wasn’t sexual.”

Kai came through the door, he was stressed that the meeting took longer than intended and he didn’t understand why they had as many questions as they did, unless they were undercover cops. He found Y/n and Chrono sitting in the front room. She looked a little disheveled.

[rosecorcoranwrites]

Non-Writing Advice for Weary Writers

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

To all you good writerly girls and boys (and the bad ones, I suppose), I offer this advice. Not writing advice, though. That's overplayed. No, I offer good, sound advice to make your life easier, which will, in turn, make your writing better.

1) Don’t worry about “making it”.

What does “making it” even mean? Landing an agent? Being published? Being a best seller? And what is “it”? A novel? A published novel? Life as a professional writer? I think that we’re all in this writing game for different reasons, but mainly for the love of it—by which I mean writing. We don’t set out to “make it” profitable or marketable, because we don’t write for the profit or for the market. We write for us. You write for you. Are you writing? Then you’ve made something, and that’s good enough.

2) Go outside.

Sunlight, even indirect sunlight, helps you process Vitamin D, which lets you absorb calcium from your food, and calcium does all sorts of things for your bones and muscles and blood and heart. Thus, being outside is good for your body. It’s also good for your soul. Feeling the wind, listening to the birds, watching insects and spiders go about their tiny business. Remember that you, too, are a creature of this world, not just a mind and a set of hands for typing on a keyboard. Going outside can be a way to take a break from writing, or can be part of writing itself, a way to anchor yourself in reality. Try it yourself. At least open the window curtains! It’s a big wide real world out there, and it’s good for all of us: bugs, spiders, and writers included.

3) Be kind to your past self.

So many writers call their old writing “cringey” and mock their previous interests, but why? You wouldn’t mock some teenager you just met for their enthusiasm and excitement over writing, no matter how edgy or over the top or clichéd it may be. When I read teenaged writing, including my own, I see un-jaded passion, unfettered opinions, and honesty. I also see young writers learning their craft. You were young once, too, excited about your story without worrying if it was silly or stilted. Now, you’re probably a little older, a little wiser, and have a little more finesse. But you wouldn’t be here now without your teenaged self’s first attempts. Be kind—be grateful—to that past you.

4) Don’t idolize famous authors.

If a best-selling author’s advice resonates with you, follow it. If it sounds like a lot of nonsense, don’t. Take everything with a grain of salt. First off, people have different writing styles, and most writing advice does not fit most styles or genres. Secondly, being famous doesn’t actually make one a great writer (E. L. James springs readily to mind). And some authors are simply too big for their britches. Stephen King once tweeted, “Here are 2 phrases you must NEVER use: ‘for a long moment’ and ‘for some reason.’ Find another way!” This from the man who not only wrote a scene where 11-year-olds have an orgy in a sewer, but who presented it as a good thing. Because that wasn’t one of the two things one must never write, I guess? For some reason, people still take this chucklehead seriously.

5) Defrag you brain.

If you’ve been mulling over the same plot hole for two weeks straight, try doing something unrelated to writing. This can be hiking, shopping, playing video games, reading books, or whatever. Let your mind wander. If it wanders to your story, let it, but don’t force it to do anything. Let it make whatever connections it wants. Your story will thank you later.

6) Defrag your body.

Sit up straight with your screen at a proper height so your head is not bent downward. Take up a physical hobby, like crafting, acting, cooking, woodworking, or lifting weight. Move your limbs and your hands. Stretch daily. Your body will thank you later.

7) Be kind to your future self.

Keep track of old notes and old drafts so you don’t have to hunt them down. Set reasonable and realistic deadlines and goals so you don’t feel bad for not meeting pie-in-the-sky ones. Be aware of upcoming, non-writing obligations that might prevent you from meeting a goal and push the deadline forward so you don’t feel the need to rush.

8) Don’t call your work garbage.

…or trash, or “the worst”, or anything like that. First of all, realize that a first draft is not a final draft; all the pretty, polished writing you’ve seen from other writers has gone through rewrites and edits. Secondly, realize that humility is not the same as self-hatred. It’s fine to not boast and brag about your work, but it’s not helpful—to you or other writers—to denigrate it. It makes writers who aren’t as good as you feel bad (“Gosh, if they think theirs is trash, mine must be a dumpster fire!”), makes writers who are better than you feel awkward (“Are they… fishing for compliments, or…”), and makes you no better as a writer for having said it.

9) Ask for help.

If you’re struggling with a scene, talk it out with someone. If you’re too busy to update the next section of a story, tell your audience. If your wrists or neck or back hurt when you’re typing, see a doctor to see if there’s something you can do to minimize the strain on your body. It’s okay to ask people for help. More importantly, it’s okay to admit that you’re struggling. It’s ok to take breaks, and naps, and time. You’re nobody’s slave, not even your own. If you’re suffering, chances are your writing is, too. Ask for help when you need it.

10) Be kind to yourself.

The golden rule is to treat others as you treat yourself, but that only works if you treat yourself well. It’s almost a new year—a new decade—so why not start it out right? Look at all the writing you’ve done, and be proud of it. If you can master the art of kindness, to others and yourself, you’re going to have a great new year.

See you in 2020!

[grayson-dolans-dangly-earring]

Bible Study (E.D.)

THIS IS SO SMUTTY PLEASE BE AWARE OF THAT ALSO IM SORRY IF ITS NOT THAT GOOD OR THERE ARE SOME ERRORS IM NOT WELL VERSED IN CHURCH RELATED THINGS SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME ILY ❤️

@e-g-d-8 @hexagonaldolans @dolanswhore @deluxedolans @hmmmethan

ETHAN’S POV

My parents last ditch effort at making me a normal respectable teen was bible study. It’s a well known fact that my parents were bible thumpers and it irritated them to no end that my life goal was to be the exact opposite. My twin brother Grayson and I were both against our parents strict rules but Grayson obeyed most of them just to shut them up. I however, relished in making people squirm and pissing off my parents was my favorite hobby. I only agreed to bible study because it was either that or get a job, and an after school shift at the diner would really cramp my style.

I flicked my cigarette into the parking lot and crushed it with my boot before making my way to the door of the church. Once inside the building I followed the posted signs that directed me to the bible study room in the basement. Folding chairs were arranged in a circle and a few other teens were already there when I walked through the door. Heads turned and voices quieted as they all noticed me. I had quite the reputation at school so the people here already knew who I was and what I’d done and they seemed afraid of me. Good. That’s the way I liked it.

I found a seat and the rest of the group did the same. It was still quiet and I was not enjoying being gawked at, so when the door swung open and everyone’s attention shifted I was grateful. Until I saw her. The girl who entered the room was none other than Y/n Y/l/n, the local pastor’s daughter. I’d seen her around school before but only in small glimpses as she was usually hurrying away from wherever I was. Now, I could see her fully and up close. She made her way to a long table against the back wall of the room to set up some pamphlets.

She had a skirt on that was just a touch too short to be as modest as I’m sure her father would have preferred, her blouse was tight and I could see the buttons straining just a bit and she had a cardigan over top to keep the attention off her amazing tits. She could do whatever she wanted to hide them but I could tell what was underneath. She had wedge heels on that made her legs look amazing and I made a mental note that she was clearly not a girl who enjoyed wearing stockings. Her hair was thrown up into a messy bun on the top of her head and strands poked out all over the place, framing her face. Her glasses were thick rimmed and sliding down the bridge of her nose and she had to push them up with a delicate finger. A gold cross necklace hung around her neck and she fiddled with it often. Her lips were soft and pillowy and pink, and when she sucked the lower one into her mouth while trying to concentrate on her pamphlet set up, I almost came in my jeans. Fuck, my pants were so tight and all I wanted was to throw her over my shoulder and carry her out of here. I swore to myself that I’d go to this meeting and then never return but if she was gonna be here, I might have to stick around.

READER’S POV

Ethan Dolan was sitting in my class. He was sitting in my fucking bible study class. Why on earth do strange things always happen to ME?! How was I supposed to concentrate? Ethan Dolan was sex on legs and I don’t know if you know this but, as the pastor’s daughter I’m expected to steer clear of boys like that. But god he makes it so hard to do that. I continued setting up the back table and took a deep breath before turning to face the group.

Ethan had a smirk plastered to his gorgeous face like he had x-ray vision or something and could see through my clothes. My eyes scanned the group for an open chair but there wasn’t one as no one had prepared for another person to join us. “You can sit right here if you’re looking for a seat babydoll.” Ethan’s gruff voice rumbled from across the circle. I turned my gaze on him and watched as he ran his big hands up and down his thighs, grinning like the cheshire cat. “N-no thank you Ethan! But that does bring me to this weeks t-topic! Okay!” I managed to stammer while setting up a chair for myself. “This week’s topic is abstinence, chastity, and virginity. Now it’s okay if you’ve already lost your virginity. Yes, it’s a sin but if you ask for God’s forgiveness and vow to never do it again until you’re married, you will be pure again.” I recited from my father’s usual speech from mass. “Don’t really think I can un-ring that bell if you know what I mean.” Ethan’s voice sounded from across the circle. My breath caught in my chest and I swallowed down my nervousness. “Ethan, you can still be pure if that’s something that interests you.” I said. I decided to be a little daring and ask him a question. “Why don’t you tell us what's stopping you from having your virginity reclaimed by God?” I crossed my legs and waited for his response.

ETHANS POV

That little vixen. She really was egging me on! I was shocked she had the nerve to ask me what she did. But I wasn’t about to lose this little game we started playing, trying to push each other over the edge. “Uh, hard to say, exactly. Sex has always felt, I don't know, good, you know? I mean, really, really good. So what's the big deal, right? I mean what’s not to love about sex? There's the touching and the feeling all of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body, the two of us moving together, pressing and pulling...grinding. Then you hit that sweet spot, and everything just builds and builds and builds until it all just...explodes.” I said, clearing my throat. The girls in the group looked starstruck and the boys looked jealous. I noticed Y/n’s breathing had sped up and she was crushing the pamphlet in her hand. She quickly uncrossed and crossed her legs and I could tell I had gotten to her because when she uncrossed her legs, I could see up her skirt and a wet patch was just barely visible on her baby pink panties. I was fucking rock hard in my jeans and I wanted her more than anything. Everyone else in the room faded away when I locked eyes with her. God I’d give anything to fuck her right in this room in front of everyone.

READERS POV

Ethan’s little speech had quite the effect on me. I was extremely warm and dizzy. If sex was really as good as the way he described it, how could it be a sin?! Whatever. It wasn’t my job to question the Lord and his rules, so I brushed him off as well as I could and continued with the class.

After about an hour I dismissed the group and everyone made their way out of the basement, Ethan included. When my group ended it was usually around 7 pm and I was the only one left in the building so locking up was my job. I felt like I should say a prayer and confess my sinful thoughts before leaving so I made my way upstairs to the chapel. The lights were dim so I didn’t see the Ethan sitting in the back pew and I went to kneel in front of the altar. “Dear God, please forgive me for my impure thoughts and please protect me from the temptation that is Ethan Dolan. Amen.” I whispered. “Oh so I’m a temptation now?” a deep voice rumbled from behind me. I attempted to turn around quickly but just ended up further embarrassing myself by falling on my ass. My face was burning with guilt and I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him, and I feared that if I did look at him, I’d do whatever he asked.

ETHANS POV

I couldn’t help but grin as she stared down at my boots. I knew she wanted me now and she knew that she’d made a mistake letting her true desires slip. I reached out a hand and brushed her cheek and lifted her face. “Look at me Y/n. Come on baby. Look at me. Look at Daddy.” I said, catching her attention. Her eyes met mine and I swear to God my knees buckled. I ran my thumb over her lower lip and tugged on it just a little. She locked eyes with me as she sucked my thumb into her mouth. She looked so innocent and the thought of being the one to fuck her brains out was so so exciting. Was it wrong to tempt her and reel her in this way? Maybe. Did I care? No.

“Oh sweetheart, you look so beautiful. But you’d look so much better with my dick in your mouth don’t ya think?”

READERS POV

I must have died and gone to heaven. That could be the only explanation for this situation. Ethan Dolan wanted me and all reasonable thought had floated out of my brain. He wanted me to suck him off and that’s exactly what I was going to do.

My hands scrambled to pull his belt free and unbutton his jeans and he reached down to grab my wrists. “Baby slow down. We’ve got all night. I promise.” Ethan chuckled above me. “I-i I’ve n-never done this before.” I whispered, looking at him. His big hand cradled my chin before he spoke, “Oh baby, I know. But I’m gonna teach you.” He unbuckled his belt and pulled it free from the loops of his jeans. He then unbuttoned them, pushing them to pool around his ankles. He then grabbed my hand, pressing it to the front of him. I could feel his member pulsing beneath his black calvin klein boxers and it excited me. I gently pulled them down to join his jeans and his length sprang up, finally free from its confines. All I could do was stare. It was so big and intimidating but my mouth watered with anticipation.

“Open up beautiful.” Ethan gently urged and I did as I was told. He fed his cock into my mouth inch by inch and I moaned at the taste.

ETHANS POV

She was taking my cock like a champ and if I wasn’t so caught up in the pleasure, I would have been shocked. She started sucking on her own and bobbing her head back and forth, slowly but surely. “God damn sweetheart. Yeah just like that. You’re doing so good for me baby. So so good. Ugh fuck yes.” I moaned, my hand coming up to cup the back of her head. I managed to pry my eyes open to look down at her and the sight was beautiful. “Come on baby. Remember what I said? Look at Daddy.” I groaned. Y/n looked up at my through her this lashes and I could see tears welling up in her eyes. She looked so fucking pretty. “Okay take me in as far as you can...yup just like that baby, just like that…now try to swallow.” I instructed her. She did what I said and a litany of curses spilled from my lips as her throat constricted around me. I began sliding in and out of her mouth at a quick pace and she did her best to accommodate my speed. “Yes! Fuck yes! Good girl...oh god…” I cried. I was a panting mess and I couldn’t bring myself to give a shit. I withdrew myself from her mouth and she sucked in a large lungful of air, throatfuck spit gathered at the corners of her mouth. God she was so fucking sexy. “Get up baby. Come on.” I demanded. Once she stood, I pulled her body flush with mine, kissing her full on the mouth. My hand reached down slowly to lift her skirt and I ran a finger over her soaked panties. She hissed at the contact and I grinned against her lips.

READERS POV

He was touching me in my most intimate place and I was shocked that the sparks flying between us didn’t catch the whole church on fire. Oh. My. God. We’re in a church! My father’s church! What is wrong with me?! Ethan’s lips trailed down my neck, making me shiver. “Sweetheart I wanna fuck you over one of these church pews. Is that okay? Huh? Do you want that? Tell Daddy what you want.” His honey sweet voice whispered in my ear. I couldn’t lie, I did want him to fuck me. I didn’t even care that we were in a church anymore. I wanted him and he wanted me and I wasn’t about to stop this. I nodded before whispering back “Daddy, I want whatever you want.” He groaned and his hands that were resting on my hips, gripped my flesh tight before he grabbed his discarded belt and led me to a pew. Ethan spun me around so my back was facing him and he ran a hand down my spine signaling me to lean forward. He pulled the zipper down on the back of my skirt until it fell away. I heard the click of him opening his pocket knife and I shivered as the cold blade came in contact with my skin. In a swift motion he cut away my panties and I looked over my shoulder in shock. He grinned at me, shoving my torn panties in his jacket pocket. “A momento baby. They’re mine now.” He smirked and delivered a smack to my right ass cheek. I moaned and let my head fall forward. “Are you ready for me sweetheart?” He asked, just to be sure I wanted this. I bit my lip and shook my head yes. He slapped his dick against my clit a few times making me gasp and clench around nothing. “Please…” I moaned. “Well since ya asked so pretty…” He murmured before lining himself up and sliding in to the hilt.

I couldn’t help it, I just screamed. It felt so damn good having him inside me and the pent up need from the teasing all night completely masked the pain that should have occurred. Ethan stilled inside me, making what seemed like a choking sound. “I just...I uh...I’ve-fuck…I’ve never been with a girl this tight before. Jesus Christ. I uh, I just need a second.” He said through clenched teeth. I smirked to myself and wiggled my ass, giggling a bit after hearing him hiss.

ETHANS POV

Her pussy was like a fucking vice around me. I didn’t want to embarrass myself by cumming so soon so I had to take a second to collect myself. She was so warm and wet inside. She let it slip that she was on birth control during sharing time in group so I didn’t use a condom. This was the first time I’d ever been inside someone raw and it was amazing. I could feel everything, every ridge, every pulse.

After a few moments I began to pull out and Y/n whined. beneath me. I pulled out and pushed back in over and over at a slow but steady pace, all the while she moaned and whimpered below me. “Faster…” She cried. Her wish was my command so I planted my hands on her hips and began to slam in and out of her slick channel. My hips slapped against her ass and the sound echoed through the church like some kind of sick depraved hymn. “Oh my god! Yes Ethan yes! Please don’t stop!” Y/n moaned, slumped forward over the pew. Her hands gripped the bench seat and her knuckles turned white from how tight she was holding on. I had been fucking her so hard, her hair had fallen out of her bun and was now waving around her face. My left hand gathered her hair into a makeshift ponytail and yanked her head back while my right hand slithered between her legs to rub her clit. She tightened around me and I gasped at the feeling.

READERS POV

Between the stinging of my scalp where Ethan was yanking my hair, and the immense pleasure of him rubbing my clit while thrusting into me, had me in a fog of bliss. He used my hair to pull me backwards so his chest was against my back and his teeth sank into my shoulder. I cried out and I could feel the coil of heat in my belly tightening. “You’re doing so well sweetheart. You’re so perfect for me. Ughhhh yes. I’m close. Cum for me baby. Cum for Daddy.” He growled in my ear. After hearing his words I exploded around him, juices flowing down my thighs and all over him. My legs felt so weak but I was determined to stay upright until he came. “Oh fuck! You’re squeezing me so tight! I’m gonna cum! Can I come inside you baby? Please?” Ethan begged. He sounded so sweet I just couldn’t say no. I nodded yes and moments later I felt the hot splash of his seed inside me. It felt so good to share something like this with someone. The warmth spread all over my body and as he jerked inside of my with the aftershocks, he hit my g-spot, triggering another orgasm for me. Tears spilled down my face at the overwhelming pleasure and I felt him wipe them away. Ethan pulled out of me slowly and laid down on the seat of the pew, pulling me on top of him. I laid there in comfortable silence as he stroked my hair. “You did so good for me baby. I’m so proud of you. You feelin okay?” He asked. “Yes I’m good. I’m more than good. That was…amazing.” I sighed. “I think we should keep doing this Y/n. I’ve never been with someone that makes me feel the way you do. The chemistry between us is insane don’t you think?” He asked in a serious tone. “It is. I’ve never been so open and willing to bear myself to anyone else. I’d love to keep seeing you Ethan.” I murmured into his chest. “Come on baby. Let’s get outta here.” Ethan said sitting up. “Wait! I have to go erase the tape in the security office before anyone sees us fucking in the chapel! Oh my god I forgot about the cameras!” I shrieked. Ethan’s laugh reverberated through the room before he spoke, saying “Don’t erase it. I’ll take it with me. I’m gonna be replaying this night in my head over and over again for a while anyway. I’d like to have video evidence that this isn’t a dream.”

THE END

[oliviersk]

yoyoyo wassup peeps its moosh back w another muse. i rlly couldn’t resist ik ugh but!! anyways here’s olivier, she’s my bby pls show her some love yes. here is a link to her full bio but there’s a tl;dr under the cut as well as wanted connects!

✧･ﾟ(   apate + moon gayoung + cismale   ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !!  have you seen (   olivier kang  ) around ? (   she  ) have/has been in kaos for (   three months   ). the (   twenty three   ) is a/an (   socialite/classical musician   ) from (   paris, france   ). people say they can be (  calculating   ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be (   eloquent   ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of (   the waft of perfume when you walk into a department store, perfectly manicured nails, and black waves cascading down one’s shoulder   ).  ･ﾟ✧  (  penned by moosh, 21+, est, no preference  ).

aesthetics.

STATS

name: olivier kang age: twenty three gender/pronouns: cisfemale & she/her orientation: bisexual & demiromantic ethnicity: korean nationality: french height: 5′6″ eye color: brown hair color: black languages: korean, french, & english class: upper

HISTORY/SUMMARY

tw: child abuse, suicide attempt, and death.

her family is honestly a mess. she grew up with mostly female figures in her life. no dad, uncle, grandpa, none. grew up insanely rich as well. was always silenced as a kid and placed into a mold. she figured out pretty quickly to behave and shut up or face the consequences. family was quite controlling and olivier wasn’t allowed to grow into her own person. while she never got along with her mother, she cried and cried at her funeral ( olivier was 12 at the time ). her grandmother didn’t really like it and rebuked her for losing her composure. attempted suicide at around 17 and as punishment, her grandmother did not allow her to attend her dream school in america ( which she had gotten accepted into ), but made her attend a closer college, with her chauffeur shuttling her back and forth ( 2 hours ) right after classes so she could keep a close eye on her. her grandmother soon falls when crimes from years ago service and sufficient evidence is obtained for a trial and olivier, finally free, chooses to do something for herself for the first time in her life, and moves to kaos.

PERSONALITY

like everyone, olivier has two different aspects of herself, one for the public and one for the ones who know the deepest parts of her.

she’s very eloquent, not only in her word choice but also her voice ( she’s gotten many compliments on now soothing and gentle it sounds ). doesn’t smile too easily, but doesn’t mean that its always genuine when you receive one. there’s something almost ethereal about her presence, as if she’s not fully there or she could be gone with one gust of wind. there’s a sweet, gentle, but firm aspect of her that confuses most people. they don’t know whether to relax or tighten up around her. 

underneath all the sugar and spice, she’s much more sinister, cunning, and calculating than the eye lets on. a sweet tone can be taken on when shredding someone down, complete with a sugary smile. setting up the pieces and watching the world tear itself down is one of her favorite past times. her tone is sweet while the most vicious words leave her mouth, with anger never manifesting physically besides the trembling of her fingers. she’s come too far to let petty emotions get the better of her. 

further underneath is a girl who’s truly terrified of the world. it’s never been kind to her, and she can’t blame it, as she’s never put forth good energy. the lack of structure she’s facing now that her grandmother is gone is freeing, but completely terrifying, like being dropped in the middle of the ocean with no sense of direction. with her life in her own hands, she has no idea what to do with it, and it frightens her to her core. it’s probably why she lashes out and likes to watch as people ruin themselves. in a weird way, it makes her feel less lonely, which is why she’s drawn to disorder.

ik her personality is like all out of wack pls lmk if its confusing!!!

HEADCANONS

hates hates hates nicknames. call her olivier or don’t talk to her at all. ( sihyun is the only exception to this rule but he still receives death glares ).

while she did live in paris, her first language and the language most frequently spoken at home was korean, so she is most comfortable in korean, though french and english were taught to her by a young age as well.

out of all the things she hated doing as a kid, violin and piano are the only hobbies that really stuck around. she still practices on the daily and a lot of activities have to be thought over twice because strain off her fingers/wrists is very important.

dabbled in drugs and such in high school ( abroad ). while it allowed her to alleviated the stress she didn’t like the fact that it took bodily control away from her, so never did it too often.

has anxiety that flares up from time to time in forms of attacks ( big and small ) so she takes medication for it, but not many people know.

going off of that, she sometimes has attacks when thinking about her future. it’s not what lies ahead that frightens her but the lack of structure she now has due to the absence of her grandmother. the security that had been there, no matter how restraining, now makes her feel like shes drowning in endless possibilities and its too much for her to swallow sometimes.

majored in classical literature and classical music. its one of the easiest conversation starters because she could go on and on for hours about old, dead writers.

isn’t one for pastries but she absolutely loves fruit tarts. it’s the only sugary thing she’ll let herself eat.

her hair is surprisingly naturally brown but she dyes it black because she thinks it suits her better.

has a ring from her mother that she wears around her neck. has a very odd relationship with her mother, and is still coming to terms with it.

completely scrapped her house before she moved to kaos. removed everything and sold the land. has left her job running the company and literally everything behind except her inheritance and the money she received while on the job + the house. it’s enough money to last her a lifetime but finds herself bored in kaos with nothing to do,  so she’s begun giving lessons ( sparingly ). sight sees a lot but is thinking of taking on a role in the orchestra in town sooner or later.

always smell like chanel no 5.

loves taking baths. bubbles, wine, classical music, candles, and herself ( or maybe someone to share the fun with ).

isn’t vegan but eats meat sparingly, mostly because she usually doesn’t like the texture or taste of most meats.

literally never curses. you can usually tell how angry she is if a curse manages to slip past.

enjoys writing poetry but its mostly just for her. a leather bound book filled with her work lays on her desk every night, but they are often tear soaked and unable to fully comprehend unless you know who she truly is.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

first love ( female ). def have some ideas for this so lmk. plot heavy.

someone she teaches piano/violin to

someone from back home who knew her before and doesn’t like her. maybe boarding school buddies from middle/high school?

someone she “gets along with” and is using for some reason

her old money squad from back home. they’re lowkey kinda fake to each other but also kinda mean

was really close friends but had a falling out ( prolly cause she did something shady or something she thought was the best for them but it wasn’t. may or may not regret it ).

somebody her grandmother set up for her to date ( male )

there was one night during one event where olivier really hit it off with this person. they snuck out of the event and roamed around the city in formal attire, ate pizza at a local place, etc. etc. but it was a a year or two ago n they never exchanged numbers. now theyre both in kaos.

someone who has a crush on her but wont tell for some reason. or maybe they will tell. maybe she knows and shes playing dumb or maybe she genuinely doesn’t.

on a similar note, someone tryna get her to smash. she doesn’t sleep around at all, finds it undignified, but this person’s determined to get to bone.

people who have seen the real her and hate her for that reason. on the flip side, people who have seen the real her and still stick around for some reason.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Between a Rock and a Hard Place (baon)

Summary: Stretch isn't much of a climber, but then, it sort of depends on what he's climbing.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, 

Notes: Eventually I will get to what I am supposed to be writing. In the meantime, please enjoy some fluff. 

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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~~*~~

Stretch was fairly lightweight for all of his height. His bones were slim, not having years of fighting and LV to increase their density. It made it easy to lift and carry him whenever the opportunity arose, and Edge indulged himself whenever possible. Having Stretch in his arms was always a pleasure.

It did not mean that having that weight flung on him unexpectedly wasn’t a shock and he’d learned to brace himself whenever he heard familiar footsteps rapidly approaching.

Like today. A bare minute after he walked through the door, Edge staggered forward a step as Stretch attached himself to his back like a burr, arms slung around his neck and all that slight weight suddenly his to support.

“babe!” Gleefully, and loudly, in his audial canal. Edge automatically reached back to brace him while Stretch made a fair attempt at climbing him like a particularly bony tree. He caught Stretch’s legs behind the knee, boosting him up until he was draped over Edge in a gangly sort of piggyback.

“You’re going to send us both to the ground one of these days doing this,” Edge said warningly.

“pfft, whatever, you love it.” The heat of his breath against Edge’s cervical vertebrae, followed by slim fingertips tracing the curves made him shiver, and Edge tightened his grip in a fruitless attempt to keep Stretch still. “besides, whatever goes up, must come down, and you like it when i go down. okay, so, what do you have going on tonight?”

The non-sequitur took him a moment to catch. Trying to follow Stretch’s train of thought was often more like a roller coaster than a subway. He considered the question as he kicked the door shut behind him, carrying Stretch through the living room. Tonight he’d been planning on catching up on paperwork, finishing a couple outstanding projects, and outlining his schedule for the next week. He could do that.

Edge shifted Stretch’s weight until he could lean his own head back enough to give him a strained kiss. “What did you have in mind?”

“ooh, i found something for you, babe. this place just opened and I think it'd fit you right up your alley.”

"It would fit my what?" Edge asked, bemused.

“up your alley, down your gloves, whatever, it would fit. we got this flyer today, check it out!” Stretch squirmed his delightful way down as quickly as he’d climbed up, despite Edge’s attempts to keep hold of him, and pulled a wrinkled piece of paper out of his hoodie pocket. It was an advertisement for the grand opening of an indoor rock-climbing facility.

While he read the flyer, Stretch waited impatiently, bouncing on his toes with an excited grin firmly in place.

It was a relief to see. He was looking much better today than he had he night before. Perhaps he’d managed to sleep in this morning after Edge went into work. They’d met for lunch that afternoon and Stretch had been very much his normal self; the shadows beneath his sockets were softer and he chatted with his normal bright enthusiasm. Whatever experiment he’d done with San and Alphys seemed to have put him in a good mood and Edge would happily sacrifice his evening to keep him that way.

“I’m interested,” Edge said at last. “But this doesn’t seem to be your kind of event.”

Stretch only rolled his eye lights. “oh, yeah, because watching your bad ass scaling the mighty walls is gonna be soooo rough. tragic, really, dunno how i’ll survive. you wanna go?”

“All right,” Edge said thoughtfully. “Why not?” It would be good for him to go anyway, and judge how Monster-friendly the facility was. “Let me change, you brat, and we’ll head out."

“can i watch that, too?” Stretch leered, his slender fingers already trying to sneak beneath Edge’s suit coat.

“Only if you want to put this off until tomorrow night.”

“okay, yeah, good point,” Stretch sprawled out on the sofa instead. “hurry up, baby love, let’s get this show on the road.”

It was Edge’s turn to roll his eye lights, but he did as he was told and went upstairs. If this turned out well, he could justify it as testing out the facilities for the Embassy and besides, Stretch was excited to go.

That was more than worth his time.

~~*~~

Stretch tended to be a good judge of business and people. Since they’d come to the surface, he’d sniffed out many of the places on the Embassy list of Monster-friendly businesses and his skills did not fail him today.

Despite the building being packed with eager new climbers, the employees were flawlessly welcoming, almost excited when they came in.

Edge paid the required entrance fees for them both, adding on a starter package for himself that included training on the basics. Both of them accepted their wrist bands and Edge began to herd Stretch through the turnstile, only for him to resist, suddenly straining to look behind them.

“oooooh, gonna win me a medal, babe?” Stretch pointed at a rack behind the counter where dozens of little medals hung. The ribbons ran a kaleidoscope of colors and each medal declared its bearer’s level of skill, from novice to expert.

“I believe I can live without a trinket,” Edge said dryly, ignoring Stretch’s pouting disappointment. “If you want one, you can earn it.”

“Hey, there!” Came from behind them and Edge turned to see a smiling Human coming up to them. He was almost as tall as Edge and wearing a Staff t-shirt. “I’m the owner here, Maxwell Fleming.”

“Hello,” Edge said warily. Some of his concerns faded as the Human held out a hand to shake and Edge did, keeping his grip gentle. It could be difficult to gauge at times how much pressure was comfortable for Humans. “My name is Edge and this is Stretch.”

“hiya,” Stretch grinned, waggling his fingers in greeting.

“Really nice to meet you.” The Human jerked his head a little for them to follow and Edge did, Stretch trailing at his heels. “Look, I’ll be honest, you two are my first Monster guests, and we really want our facility to be welcoming to everyone. Would you mind if I handled your training?”

“Of course not,” Edge said, a bit surprised but not displeased. If this Human were being honest with him and the rest of the evening went well, he’d put in a quick-track for background checks through security and get them an official door sticker.

Stretch made a face and stuck his hands in his pockets, backing away. “yeaaaaaah, you two have fun. i’m gonna go find my sittin’ place. nice to meet you, max.” Stretch shuffled down to the small cafeteria in one corner. It had a good view of the walls and therefore, gave Edge a good view of him when he sat.

“Exertion isn’t exactly his preference," Edge said, dryly. "I believe he’d abandon walking if the universe would agree to come to him.”

Maxwell laughed easily, “Hey, no problem. Let’s get you kitted out to start, okay?”

~~*~~

As much as Edge enjoyed his morning run, he admitted he wouldn’t mind exchanging it for this rock climbing from time to time.

Max spent plenty of time with him and whether that was normal, or whether dollar signs dancing in his head at the thought of other Monsters getting interested in his facility, Edge did not know, but either way, it was well appreciated.

Rock climbing turned out to be excellent exercise and Edge quickly worked his way up through the difficulty levels. There were plenty of Humans here as well, but other than a few double takes, no one paid him any mind.

It’s was exactly what he wanted for the Monster community. To be so commonplace, they were barely noticed.

An hour in and he was pleasantly exhausted, waiting for a last turn at one of the expert levels. He kept a half an eye on Stretch, who was content to entertain himself with the vending machines and his cell phone, frequently snapping pictures whenever Edge was climbing. That he kept looking at his phone and giggling was a fair sign that Edge should avoid social media for the next couple of days.

Max caught him looking once, a thoughtful expression crossing his face.

“Think your—" Edge waited in amusement as Max visibly chose and discarded several assumptions before settling on “—friend would like to give it a go? One time, on the house.”

“If you can get my husband to try this, I’ll have the Embassy give you a public endorsement,” Edge told him dryly. He waited on a reaction to that information, distrustful of the supposed ‘morals’ that some Humans claimed as an excuse for being cruel.

Max only nodded thoughtfully, and surely the dollar signs waltzing in his head were changing over to the tango. “Let me give it a shot.”

He strode over with determination, Edge trailing behind in a jangle of carabiners and gear.

“Hey, buddy!” Max said cheerily.

Stretch was in the process of unwrapping a sucker from his pile of vending machine contraband. He froze as Max loomed over him, offering a slow, "um, hi?"

“Saw you watching your husband over there. He’s pretty good, right?”

“in many ways,” Stretch said warily. Years of dealing with his brother left Stretch prepared for traps of any sort and caution when one loomed on the horizon was almost second nature to him.

“Well, I was thinking,“ Max said, “I know this isn’t really your thing, so, what do you normally do for fun?”

Stretch only shrugged. “i’m real big on napping.”

“Ha, yeah,” Max laughed, perhaps a little too heartily. “No one tells you that when you get older, napping becomes a hobby, am I right?”

“yes, they do.” Stretch popped the sucker into his mouth and said around the stick. “because i just told you that’s what i do.”

Edge only stood there, watching his own personal pain in the ass in action with no little amusement. He thought he could hear Max’s teeth grinding from here.

“Uh huh,” Max rubbed a hand on the back of his head. “Well, listen, like I said, I know this isn’t your thing, but why not give it a try?”

“because i would literally rather sell a limb on ebay?”

Max seemed to realize failure was in sight and tried a different tact. “Okay, so napping is your hobby, what do you and your husband do together.”

“sex,” Stretch told him blandly.

If Stretch was hoping a little Human prudishness would put Max off, he was underestimating the drive of a salesman in his stride. “Sex is a hobby for most married couples. What else do you two do?”

Stretch raised a brow bone. “you want a list?”

“Nope. What I want is you on a wall,” Max said, abandoning subtly for bluntness.

Stretch leaned far back in his chair, wobbling on two legs as he gave Edge a dark, suspicious look. “he put you up to this?”

“I did not,” Edge called. There was no point in trying for an innocent expression, Edge had never had the knack.

“He did not,” Max agreed. “But he didn’t say no, either, and I think he’d like it if you tried. I bet he’d get a thrill out of seeing you do this with him. We get a lot of couples who do climbing together. Probably make him happy to have something to share with you.”

That struck a vulnerable chord and perhaps no one else would be able to tell that Stretch was wavering. He let his chair drop back to the floor with a clatter, his eye lights flicking to the climbing walls and back.

"You can try an easy one,” Max coaxed. “It's good exercise, and it's perfectly safe."

Stretch turned those wide, imploring sockets to Edge, who only raised a brow bone at him in a silent warning that no rescue would be forthcoming. Not that he liked the idea of Stretch doing anything that might get him hurt, but there were plenty of safety precautions. If he wanted to try, he could try.

If.

The amount of grudging Stretch was giving off as he stood was almost a physical aura. “i guess maybe—“

“Great!” Max said heartily. Perhaps he’d had some training in Monster protocols because he didn’t attempt to touch Stretch, instead waving his hands to guide him as if he were bringing a particularly reluctant plane in for landing. “Come on, you’re gonna love it!”

~~*~~

A half hour later and love did not seem to be the word Stretch was feeling for his current activity and if he said the ones that were more accurate, Edge would be scolding him for using that language in front of children.

He normally wasn't one for taking many pictures; that was firmly Stretch's domain. But the sight of his husband's lanky form trussed up in the safety harness, staring out sullenly from beneath a bright green helmet, was one he wanted to treasure for years to come.

Max led them to one of the beginner walls, extending some twenty feet up and covered with brightly colored handholds. Stretch gave the wall next to it, one meant for children ten and under, a longing glance before stared up the designated one dubiously. "you want me to crawl up that?”

"Don't worry, this is a nice, easy wall,” Max said reassuringly. “And I'm gonna spot you. See this?" He gave the harness Stretch was wearing a firm tug and from his expression, it was a little tight in the pelvic region. "You get stuck or start to fall? I've got you."

If his speech was meant to inspire confidence, it fell well short of topping off Stretch's mental cup. He stayed where he was, staring up, even as Max took his place with the belay rope.

Stretch turned that dubious expression in Edge’s direction. "you really think i should try this?"

“At least once,” Edge told him, amused, “it was your idea to come here.”

“i was here to check out the scenery, not to join the cast,” Stretch muttered. He squared his shoulders and nodded firmly. “okay, then.”

"Really?" Edge would have guessed Stretch would beg off by now. Certainly he had no trouble making his desires known, often with great volume.

"yeah, sure,” Stretch shrugged. “why not, live free or die young, let's carpe some fucking diem or whatever that shit is. max?”

“Yeah, I’m ready for you, buddy!” Max called to him, rope firmly in hand.

Stretch still didn’t move, shuffling his shoes, his laces very recently and firmly tied by Edge. "so, let me see if i got this straight. the goal is to get to the top of the wall, right?"

"Right,” Max agreed. He pointed upward. “There's a bell you can ring at the top.”

"and if i get to the top of the wall, will you two let me sit and watch the rest of the time?"

Edge would have been content to allow him to do that even if he didn't, just for being willing to try. "Of course--" the moment the words left his mouth he realized his mistake. "Wait!"

Too late. Edge sighed in exasperation as Max yelped and scrambled back from the suddenly empty platform.

"hiiiiii!" Stretch peered over the ledge, grinning smugly down from the top. He sat down with his legs dangling, waggling his fingers at them.

"That's cheating!" Edge called up. Other Humans were staring now with wide eyes and Edge groaned inwardly. Not exactly one of the more unobtrusive ways introduce Monsters to Humans.

"you said i had to get to the top of the wall," Stretch called down gleefully. He reached out and tapped a finger against the bell, the hollow ting of it ringing down to them. "i'm up!"

"You didn't climb anything!"

"climbing was not specified. only 'top' and 'wall' and in both those areas, i am a completest." He teleported back down, grinning cheekily at his own cleverness. "i did it, do i get a medal?"

Edge supposed it was good for their marriage that it was entirely too difficult to stay irritated with him in the face of such glee, even as smug as it was.

Max seemed to agree. He recovered admirably from his shock of seeing his newest client vanish and now simply looked amused. "Sure, I’ll get you a medal.”

He went behind the counter, bypassing the medals and ribbons hanging on the wall behind him. Instead, he rummaged through a box until he finally pulled something out triumphantly.

"Here you go!" He held it up, carrying it to Stretch and presenting it with mock ceremony. It was gaudy, gold-tinted piece of plastic on a cheap red, white, and blue ribbon and Stretch laughed delightedly as he looked at inscription. One side had a cartoonish hand giving a thumbs up and the other said 'participant.'

"i really think this emphasizes the deeper meaning behind my climb," Stretch said. He settled it over his head with solemnly. "babe, take a picture, i need to immortalize my contribution for participants everywhere.”

He did, while Stretch posed majestically, still wearing his harness, and the Humans around them all laughed and clapped. In no time he was chatting with many of them, several of whom seemed to know him from Twitter.

Picture taken, Edge only stood back and watched as yet another group of Humans fell beneath his husband’s charm. Honestly, Edge couldn't say if it would be the greatest or worst of ideas for Stretch to work for the Embassy. It was probably best that he wasn't interested. Max came to stand next to him, watching in bemusement.

“I’ll speak to our PR department tomorrow,” Edge told him quietly, “but if he is talking about you on his Twitter, I expect you’ll see an increase in business.”

“Nice. He’s a funny guy, isn’t he,” Max grinned and yes, Edge would be happy to push for speedy background checks. “I’ll get you some free passes, too. From now on, he doesn’t need an extra entrance fee, if he promises to stay in the café.”

“I’m sure that’s a bargain he’d agree with.”

Edge managed one last climb before dragging Stretch away from his audience. It was later than he’d expected to stay, the sun already going down, and from the way Stretch was dragging a bit, almost swaying on his feet, it was well past time to go home. One morning of sleeping in wouldn’t be enough if he was running on a sleep deficit.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Edge asked. Not that he didn’t know the answer. Stretch was still wearing his medal and he fingered it absently.

“yeah, but i think i’ll stick to climbing you, babe. you’re about as high as i like to get.”

“Yes, you have a difficult enough time keeping your feet on the ground.” Whatever flirtatious jibe Stretch came up with dissolved beneath a jaw-cracking yawn. Stretch shifted to lean his head against Edge’s shoulder, snuggling against him as well as the seat belt allowed. It made driving more difficult, but not much.

He was asleep in record time, leaning more heavily against Edge and when they got home, Edge fully expected to have to carry him into the house. Through their front doors and up the stairs to settle him into their bed and truth be told, Edge was looking forward to it.

He would gladly take any excuse to hold Stretch in his arms.

-finis-

[flatfootmonster]

First Dates

Hannibal

I dealt with the interview as politely as I could muster. The director’s IQ  was dusted much too lightly for him to detect any of the slights I had laced through my responses. But then, my ambiguous words and actions are only to amuse my own self in a world full of the maddeningly mundane. He was both of those things.

The building that I was filmed in is across the street from the restaurant. The set that I was in was, what I can only presume, their idea of a romantic setting; a red backdrop with the shape of a heart centered on it and vases overfilled with red roses. There is no depth of thought evident, but then what did I expect? This is a show for the general population; they enjoy the easy and the obvious.

I make my way across the cobbled street and towards the clear glass door of the restaurant because this is what I have been instructed to do. I am nothing if I am not courteous. That is what I want them to see so naturally they will.

Easy and obvious.

My date waits within, and I start to wonder whether this person will have anything of interest about themselves. Most people do not. They display the same behaviors I can analyse with no difficulty; I can predict their next move or what their next choice of subject will be and usually with a high level of accuracy.

There is a silver lining in every conundrum, however, and in this—whatever this being presents—I could choose to have this individual over for dinner at mine after tonight. I can feel myself smiling at my own pun—that's a bad habit, I’m aware; it is not generally accepted to laugh at one's own jokes. But when there is no one else to share your cannibalistic tendencies, there’s no harm in appreciating your own wit.

The surface of the door is cold against my palm as I push into the restaurant and the host greets me with a very wide, white, smile that is meant to be as warm as the air that hits me. He is bald and bearded and I suppose he imagines he is currently in trend. I smirk as I consider how he undoubtedly perceives himself as exceedingly edgy. I imagine he received a beard home-care kit for Christmas from an overbearing mother or girlfriend—both serving the same purpose in this scenario, and probably many others—and decided to make it his hobby. My expression is considered positive, it would seems, as the man ducks his head in welcome.

“Good Evening, Doctor Lecter.”

No, I decide that this one I like. He at least has the decency to get my title correct, unlike the director. Reminding myself of that small, oily man almost returns me to the recipe I was considering might accompany part of his anatomy on a latter date. Instead, I put that particular thought on hold and extend my hand out to the man I have decided won’t go on my naughty list.

“Good Evening,” I announce.

Interestingly, my eyes seem to be tracing the silhouettes of diners, trying to discern which one I will be paired with. Noticing their peculiar and spontaneous activity, I train them on the hosts jovial features. “Unfortunately I do not yet know your name.” His grip in mine is relaxed, but not like a dead fish. There really is nothing worse than a weak handshake.

“Oh, I'm not your date,” I resist the urge to narrow my eyes. Of course I don't think he is my date. Absurd notion when he is clearly standing behind the host stand, menus displayed before him. Does he believe I gave myself the title of Doctor?

He is quickly slipping out of my favor but I don’t correct him on his misstep; my person suit is firmly secured. I raise my eyebrows and cock my head, patiently waiting for him to elaborate. He looks flustered now, an awkward half smile on his face. “He's at the bar.”

The smile I return is thin but easily bought; easy and obvious. “Many thanks, Monsieur Anonymous.”

The smells of the restaurant surround me; it is neither outstanding nor offensive. The bar area is particularly strong in scent—to me at least—of the various alcoholic cocktails that have been spilled over the years. I can smell him before I really see him: woodsy, unique and completely out of place. There is most definitely a hint of dog. Despite the latter, I smile. He may be the only thing I have found interesting during this whole experience so far.

As I draw near to the form that is quite literally propping up the bar, I pause to admire his backside. It would be delightful in a manner of circumstances, and not simply for carving. But I frown as I absorb his dress sense, although it completely corroborates with his out of place scent. His shirt is plaid, rolled to his sleeves and wrinkled from slouching at some point in a chair. He is nervous and warm, I can see it from the way his finger is dragging around his collar, loosening it from around his neck, and the ruddy color of the skin at his nape. His trousers are olive in color and, if I'm not mistaken, they are a smart variation of cargo pants— if that isn’t an oxymoron in itself. Either he has dressed like this to convey a message purposefully, or he is completely out of his depth in a whole number of categories. Overall, it's quite an endearing first impression.

A deer caught in the headlights.

“I believe that you might be waiting for me.” I have to strain against the will of my cheek muscles that desire to pull my smile wider. I am not sure of the result, although I realize he is none the wiser. My arrival made the man jump so forcefully that half of his whisky is trickling down his forearm and spattered on the bar surface. One more scent for that distressing bouquet. “I didn't mean to startle you.”

“You didn’t,” he mutters absentmindedly. I’m wholly convinced that he is unaware of the lie that just came out of his mouth.

“I'm Hannibal.” I manage to hide my mirth and decide not to hold my hand out; he is quite preoccupied with a napkin and his damp wrist. He doesn’t seem to want to release his drink anymore than he wants to meet my eyes.

“Hi,” he mumbles into his chest, “I was waiting… but that's the point—the deal.” he elaborates those last two words as though I am thanking him for waiting and he is letting me know there is no need. It is not meant rudely, he is self denigrating. “I'm Will.”

His eyes are safely secured behind lenses that look too thin to have any function. The dark frame slips down his nose due to a light sheen of perspiration on his marble-like skin. He doesn't seem to notice their descent, blue orbs frantically bouncing around the room before they settle on me for a brief moment. That's when he realizes he's looking at me over the top of his glasses and uses a finger to push them up his nose as his eyes drop to the knot in my tie. Then he mumbles an apology, his hand desperately scrambling across the bar for support. The glass is still clutched his hand. The sudden flummoxed motion all took perhaps five seconds but, for that brief electrifying moment that he allowed his pupils to meet my own, I feel a firmness; a hidden strength buried beneath isolation and frustration.

Will is altogether peculiar and I find I like him.

“There’s no need to apologize. Should we find a table? The floor might be a little firmer when seated.” I add a smile as well as a soft lilt to my voice so he knows the jest is not meaning to harm, but all he does is repeat my name as though it's a memory. I surprise myself by the small twist of something deep within me; a spark somewhere in dark depths that has never seen a visitor. There’s an echo, an answer, a hunger clawing itself through the bleakness.

I push the urge to dissect myself away because I have a strong feeling that trying to discern the sensation would be like throwing a pebble into that immeasurable cavern and holding my breath, waiting to hear the noise of its fall being broken. By water, rock, foliage, bone, soft tissue…

And for a moment I am uncharacteristically caught off balance and my forehead tightens in a frown. Two of my fingertips push against the tacky wooden bar-top; a fortitude I never need. The sound of Will clearing his throat brings me back together as he realizes I asked a question. He is too lost in his own castaway nature to consciously notice the falter in my posture for that moment. Or so I assume. Maybe he is aware of the glitch in time and space that seemed to affect the both of us in this moment of collision.

I may have to eat him yet.

“Sure… you decide.” His arm made a wide gesture to the room, that I might not know where the tables were. But I know that’s not his intentions, his movements are sprung by tightly coiled nerves. “There are some booths in the corner.” His fingers finally leave the glass and he wipes his palms down over his stomach. I wonder how much damper they have become since I introduced myself?

“Would you like to sit at a booth, Will?” He blinks at the question, trying to unravel how his gesture backfired so quickly.

“Oh, no, I didn't mean that's where I wanted to sit. I was just pointing it out; I noticed while I was waiting.” He looks around the room almost in surprise of his surroundings. As if he can’t quite figure out how he got here, or this was not what he had expected happen . Truth be told, I can relate; this was not at all what I expected to find.

“If you were going to pick where to sit, would you choose a booth?” The man fingers his jaw, tips pass over his stubble making a sound that sends static electricity skating over my skin. The collar on my own shirt seems tighter now.

“Yes.” Will makes the admission and he sounds defeated in being given what he wants. That is intriguing. I begin to ponder what other things and experiences he denies himself…  

“A booth it is.”