#I mean I’m stuck on detective Conan right now and while it owns my heart

[letstrywritingmaybe]

Is it just cause I’m moving or have I lost all sense of time? Like I’m still reeling over BTR and I don’t even like boy bands (yes I did add Boyfriend to my nostalgia playlist) and 5sos is the artist of the month on tumblr? (They were really good live btdubs and again I don’t like boy bands but I could totally get into them. I’m biased towards songs they worked on with my lord and savior Ryan Tedder though. But She Looks So Perfect is a banger) Taylor is releasing a new album when I’m low key still in the lover era? Hugh Jackman is gonna be Wolverine again? I’m finally excited about marvel again! Which leads me to doing flufftober for romanogers? Seriously what year am I in.

[altumvidetur]

Kaishin Fic Recs

Previously: Haikyuu!! Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I’ve decided to split it in a series of posts, and, well, when it comes to DCMK, I have one major OTP. So here’s enough Kaishin to keep you entertained for a year:

The Dwelling Night, by proser132

Three shot. KaiShin. Brief moments were all they had, but dwelling on dreams is sometimes enough.

In Theory, by orphan_account

Kaito's got a whole list of cheesy and awful pickup lines to use on Shinichi.

(Un)fortunately for him, Shinichi's got just as many to throw back.

As You Wish, by orphan_account

Shinichi hasn't been doing a very good job of pretending he isn't hiding something from Kaito, and Kaito is more than determined to find out what it is -- even if it means asking everyone the detective knows in order to do so.

He just wants to know what all the boxes are for.

you’re the reason i come home, by LunaDarkside

Shinichi comes home after a two-week investigation in New York. Kaito could not be more thrilled.

Lovesick, by DragonSorceress22

"You know what I want? I want a fic where Kaito sends out a heist notice but then he gets sick but he can't NOT go. I guess it could go the other way too, where Conan solves a heist notice but then he gets sick but he can't NOT go. I want to read that fic." "There's tons of fics like that..." And now there's one more.

whispers and nicks and all these tricks, by LunaDarkside

In which there is sex pollen at a heist, and Kaito and Shinichi end up in the same room. Coincidentally enough.

Be Real, by DragonSorceress22

This, KID thought, was what someone reaching their limit looked like.

a study in scarlette, by kittebasu

There are people who want to live forever, and then there is Shinichi, who just wants to live a little longer than this.

wait a minute (so you’re not just losing the dress), by LunaDarkside

Everything is overwhelmingly good. And then Kaito has to go and say it.

“I’ve never done this before,” he mumbles mindlessly against the pliant softness of Shinichi’s lips, and everything immediately stops.

“Wait, what?” Shinichi jerks upwards, eyes wide.

Or, neither Shinichi nor Kaito has any experience, but they make do.

The printer’s a lie, by OrphanText

In which Kuroba has an annoying printer, a very good looking (and mildly terrifying) RA, and general bad ideas up his sleeves (but it works out in the end).

The Alcohol Test, by DragonSorceress22

When your rival-turned-best-friend is a phantom thief who has recently reached legal drinking age, there’s really only one responsible way to approach the matter. Spreadsheets.

Getting Off Track, by solomonara

The easiest way to find out what someone wants is to ask them, so of course neither Shinichi nor Kaito KID is going to do that. (OR: In which Shinichi and Kaito KID take turns falling into each other's arms.)

Wouldn’t Change A Thing, by BlackKatJinx

“Don't you get tired of it?”

“'It'?” He asks.

“Stealing.”

By Any Other Name, by AngelicSentinel

the one where you don’t know your soulmate until you hear them say your name.

Snowed In, by DragonSorceress22

Shinichi and Kaito are exceptionally bad at quiet nights at home.

Go Out With a Bang (Since We’re to Wilt Anyway), by KXL

Love can be cruel, and painful, but Kaito knew that already. Maybe he's just a masochist.

take in another breath (get closer), by Melomaniac

He paused on the threshold of the door between the pseudo-corridor and the seating area, and faintly corrected himself. Not as alone as he thought. Not as alone at all.

Sat by himself, with his chin resting on his hand, an arm loosely propped on the small table, an explosion of paper and assorted important looking documents in front of him, flask of (presumably) coffee held to his lips, was Kudou Shinichi, whose eyes had met Kaito’s when he walked into the carriage, had widened, and hadn’t looked away since.

In which there is a late night (or an early morning), a train, copious amounts of flirting, a phone, a name, and a stolen heart.

Last Day Again, by Phantoms_Echo

(Summary by me: Groundhog Day!AU with Kaito becoming more and more unhinged as he desperately tries to break the time loop he’s stuck in.)

Net Force, by LunaDarkside

Ran decides it's high time for Shinichi and Kaito to get together. Awkward matchmaking ensues.

Of Corset Hurts, by KXL

Shinichi and Kaito are both pretty much done with the situation, though for somewhat different reasons. Both reasons involve overly long dresses to some degree.

Ace up Their Sleeves, by Procrastination_Sensation

Summary by me: Soulmates!AU in which seeing your soulmark in someone else (your soulmate) causes debilitating pain until the two of you kiss.

Murder by Cremation, by KXL

Capturing the lawless monsters who ate people after burning them up was, apparently, the easy part.

Halloween Heist, by Phantoms_Echo

Because Halloween Scavenger Hunt doesn't sound as nice.

Trick or Treat, Tantei-kun! Up for a little Halloween game? I’ve left clues all over town. Find them all, you’ll get a treat. Fail to find them in time, you’ll get a trick. Good luck, Tantei-kun. -Kaitou KID

the suffering of fools, by AngelicSentinel

It's Las Vegas; the lights are bright, the liquor is flowing, and Ran married someone other than Shinichi. He just wants to drown his sorrows, but a half-familiar face steals his drink.

♠ ♦ ♣ ♥ Case Files, by AngelicSentinel

Solving life's little mysteries, one at a time.

one-shots in the suffering of fools universe

A Study in Trust, by Calculatrice

Conan swallows anger and condemnation and, for the very first time, gives Kaitou KID the benefit of the doubt. ________________

In which Conan constantly has to revise what he thinks of a certain thief, and is frankly getting pretty sick of feeling like his subconscious is already ahead of him.

Jacket, by Calculatrice

He turns to look at KID, grimacing as his overlong sleeves swish around him.

“It doesn’t exactly fit me,” he frowns as he points out the obvious. “Does this do anything for you?”

Kiss and tell., by DragonSorceress22

Shinichi might have gotten a little ahead of himself. And KID. Luckily, Hakuba has a level head and a soft spot for lovesick genius-idiots.

the goat one-shot, by helloimtrash

They're family now.

Interrogation, by Calculatrice

Admittedly, there are many things Kaito could probably be blamed for, but pulling Shinichi into the nearest empty hallway to kiss him senseless isn’t one of them.

So It Goes, by Calculatrice

It goes like this.

(In which Murphy’s Law isn’t much of a law - more something to be gleefully stomped on.)

Mii Plaza, by Calculatrice and helloimtrash

“Okay,” Kaito grins as the opening notes of Wii Sports ring out. “Are you ready for defeat?”

“Can’t we just play Mario Kart,” Shinichi frowns, crossing his legs as he watches Kaito push the coffee table out of the way. “It’s like, one in the morning.”

The Forensics of Falling, by LunaDarkside

[FF.Net Link] When fans of world-famous magician and actor Kuroba Kaito begin turning up dead, Inspector Kudou Shinichi is put on the case.

the toxicology of trust, by LunaDarkside

World-famous magician and actor Kuroba Kaito and the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Force's star inspector Kudou Shinichi finally get some much-needed time off. Or they would, if there wasn't a killer on their cruise.

(sequel to The Forensics of Falling)

On Familiarity, by lastdream

No one had ever known Kaito quite like Shinichi did, and Kaito wasn't sure he could take it.

Lies and the Art of Relaxation, by DragonSorceress22

Shinichi is stressed and Kaito is a liar. Business as usual.

And Again, by Calculatrice

It’s late, late in the night, and while on another night they may have been awake and neck-deep in plans, or perhaps delirious and making silly conversation, tonight he and Kaito are both curled in bed.

the only bed worth sleeping, by LunaDarkside

Kaito's not a detective, but he's pretty sure there's no logical explanation for Shinichi's disappearance from his apartment. Or for the cat that's shown up in his kitchen.

Magic Eight Ball, by Rikkamaru

Shinichi chases Kaitou Kid into the Blue Parrot thinking he's injured.

(For the Kaishin Discord, which made a "challenge" that a few people took up.)

swing for the fences, by LunaDarkside

"How to Fall in Love with Kudou Shinichi (Featuring Pink Panties, Dead Bodies, and Ill-Advised Bets): A Comprehensive and Kind of Embarrassing Guide" by Kuroba Kaito.

In The Soul, by Calculatrice

Shinichi ferries souls from the shores of the living to those of the dead, so they may pass safely on to an eternal afterlife. It’s really not a difficult concept, and definitely not one he thought could be wilfully ignored, but Kuroba Kaito obviously didn’t get the memo.

even miracles, by LunaDarkside

“No, Mother,” Shinichi says pleasantly. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to host a dinner party to find me a wife.”

bros before, by LunaDarkside

Shinichi needs a fake date for his parents' vow renewal ceremony. Naturally, he asks his best friend, Hattori. 

maybe I was going too fast, by Ann1215

A year after Kaito faces off Conan, who'd figured out his identity, he comes across Kudou Shinichi during their first year of university.

Trouble is, Kudou has no idea who Kaito is.

swear i’ll never leave again, by Ann1215

When Kaito eventually grows tired of his mother's relentless matchmaking tendencies, he ropes Shinichi into tricking everyone they know and love that they're both engaged. To each other. And it's easy enough, because all they have to do is:

1. Don't lie to each other. 2. Don't tell anyone about their plan. 3. Don't fall in love with each other.

At least, it was supposed to be easy.

(See you) Next Illusion!, by PhantomsEcho

Collections of Oneshots too long to fit in Next Conan Hint.

beneath a waxing moon, by kittebasu

The man stares at him, and then shakes his head, messy hair shaking with it. “Car trouble, Detective?” The way his lips curl around the word ‘detective’ strikes Shinichi as strange, eerily familiar, and Shinichi almost has to physically shake the feeling away before he can reply.

“Engine’s making a weird noise,” Shinichi says, and then his thoughts catch up with alacrity, his muscles tensing all at once. “What makes you think I’m a detective?”

“Police tags on your car,” the man replies, grin growing wider. “Plus this is a Camry from the nineties. No one drives those but police, these days, and regular officers drive patrol cars.” He leans forward a little, gloved hands circling his helmet and lowering it slightly to his handlebars for extra balance. “Far from undercover, if you know what you’re looking for.”

The cloud cover shifts, revealing the gorgeous full moon, and the light catches the man just right, surrounding him in a pearly glow and putting his face in shadow. “And you know what you’re looking for?”

broken glass, by jadedgalaxies

KID presses Shinichi into the wall, covering his mouth with a gloved hand and shushing him quietly. Shinichi’s heart thrums. KID isn’t looking at him but every part of KID that is pressed against Shinichi is electrified. Even amidst the circumstances that led to this moment, KID’s heartbeat is steady under Shinichi’s trembling fingers. His hair tickles Shinichi’s nose, his scent sweet and overpowering. KID is warm, alive, thrilling. Shinichi’s face warms.

In this moment, beneath the pale moonlight, helping KID evade arrest, detective Kudou Shinichi realizes he’s in love with the Phantom Thief, Kaitou KID. And he probably has been for a long time.

-

Shinichi realizes he's in love with Kaitou KID and that's just the beginning.

Owned and Never More Free, by Curry Jolokia

Kaitou Kid is uncatchable. Except for this.

about a love that glows, by LunaDarkside

The good news is that it’s not an overt time limit on his life, and it’s not anything parasitic. It’s not a life-force drainer, or a bad luck charm, or a magnet for unfortunate circumstances. It’s not going to bother him in day-to-day life.

The bad news is that if Shinichi falls in love with someone, he’ll die. And they’ll die.

(There is no good news, really.)

the empty vault of night, by AngelicSentinel

Shinichi offers Kid a gift. For a price.

Sound of Silence, by Cesela

His return to being Kudou Shinichi was not everything he had hoped for, not with Ran moving on, a limp and a shattered soul as he struggles with the return to normalcy. And then there’s the neighbour with a soft smile slowly battering down his walls. Kaishin / Shinkai

A Case Closed Carol, by solomonara

With apologies to Charles Dickens. Shinichi is working way too hard and has zero time for Christmas or anything else, really. But a rather unlikely source is about to put him back on track...

where villains spend the weekend, by aishiteita

A former teen sleuth enlists a should-be-retired-thief's help to slap ennui in the face.

(Alternatively, a study in motives.)

always ends in a hazy shower scene, by LunaDarkside

Shinichi didn’t mean to shack up with an internationally wanted thief.

[fishoutofcamelot]

(for the ask thing) any book/tv show/movie/song recommendations?

BRO! I heckin got you man! Now, I’m gonna skip the song and book recommendation bit because that sorta thing isn’t really my scene. BUT! In terms of TV? My rec list is like a mile long. I’m gonna include a read-more line, actually. 

BBC Merlin: You know I had to put this on the list. But the fact that you’re on my blog means you’ve probably watched this one, so I won’t go into detail about it. Available on Netflix

Mob Psycho 100: Just a cute, sweet story about a bunch of psychic kids trying to kill each other. A story with this much fighting has no right to be so wholesome. Mob is just a good boy, he doesn’t deserve all this! Fair warning, its messages about identity, self love, and growth WILL make you feel Emotions. Available on various anime pirating websites

Red vs Blue: The found family game is SO strong in this one. By far the best found family plot/dynamic I have ever and will ever experience. The characters are all so solid, yknow? Like it took me three rewatches to understand the plot, but I didn’t even care because I loved the characters SO MUCH. It’s also really, really funny (although some of the jokes have aged a bit poorly tbh). Basically about a bunch of space marines who goof off and accidentally dismantle corrupt governments along the way. Available on Youtube

Supernatural: Is it cringey? Yeah. Does the fandom suck? Also yeah. Is Destiel overrated? BIG yeah. But it’s got monsters, magic, family, and a plot that doesn’t revolve around romance - and really, what more could you ask for? And sure, a lot of people don’t really like the later seasons, but idk I actually prefer them. Season 15 has me THRIVING. I mean come on - character vs author?! Fighting the guy who literally wrote you into existence because he doesn’t want to give your story a happy ending?! Say what you will about Supernatural, but it’s one of the most imaginative shows I’ve ever seen. Available on Netflix

Avatar the Last Airbender: You like stellar animation, intricate worldbuilding/magicbuilding, and a perspective on war that is surprisingly mature for a kids show? Check it out. This show is without a doubt one of the best animated series of all time. Go on. Watch it. It’ll change your life. Available on Netflix

The Umbrella Academy: Time-travelling assassins. Superheroes. Ghosts. Talking monkeys. Murder mysteries. Baller soundtracks. This show will never give you what you expect. I don’t even think I could properly describe it to you. Available on Netflix

Detective Conan: An anime. It’s about a teen detective - think Nancy Drew but bloodier - who witnesses a crime and is fed an experimental poison in order to keep him from telling anyone. But instead of killing him, the poison turns him into a 6-year-old. So now he’s got to solve crimes and take down a criminal organization while in the body of a child. Naturally, shenanigans ensue. Fair warning, the main character becomes a bit of a Mary Sue in later episodes, but the first 300 or so are pretty fun. A few episodes are available on Netflix, but not any of the good ones. You’ll need an anime pirating website for that

Knives Out: My favourite movie ever, of all time. It’s a murder mystery that both subverts and pays homage to its parent genre in all the right places. It’s funny, it’s intelligent, and has a spectacular ending! Although I do wish the fandom would stop being so horny for Ransom, I mean he’s literally racist...No clue where you can find this tbh, I saw it in theatres

Derry Girls: Now I’m not normally a big fan of realistic fiction/sitcom stuff. Despite how funny they are, I’ve not even watched The Office or Parks and Rec because that normal daily life stuff just doesn’t peak my interest. And yet, somehow this story about a group of Irish high schoolers just has me enthralled. Very funny, very well-written, give it a watch. Available on Netflix

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Another anime. Phenomenal animation? Check. Fascinating plot and characters? Check. Detailed magic system that gets my lore-obsessed heart fluttering? Big heckin check. So basically two kids try to use Fantasy Science to bring their mom back to life, only the experiment fails and has some pretty nasty consequences - one boy loses his arm and leg, while the other loses his entire body and has his soul bound to a suit of armour. Now they gotta go through government conspiracies, ethical dilemmas, and Daddy Issues to try and get their bodies back. Available on Netflix

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Yet another anime. I know, I know, I’m a nerd, get over it. This show doesn’t have a complex plot or even complex characters, tbh, but what it does have is some amazing humour. It’s extremely funny, and it’s also just a nice show to kick back and relax to. Basically this guy who’s so op that he could rewrite the laws of reality on a whim is stuck dealing with relationship drama in high school despite being very, very asexual and very, very tired. Mostly he just uses his powers to avoid people and eat junk food, which is honestly a mood. Available on Netflix

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Honestly I’d recommend almost anything that’s Scooby Doo-related because that was my childhood obsession. I used to have like 20 of the movies on DVD before my mom gave them all away. To this day I still love Scooby Doo, and watch it whenever I get the chance. But if you ask any SD fan, they’ll probably tell you that Mystery Incorporated is the best, most intelligent, most creative installment in the franchise. And they’re right (although I do wish there was less relationship drama...) Available on Netflix

Evil Genius: This is a documentary series about the Collar Bomb Robbery. Now, despite what the above list might indicate, I actually watch a LOT of documentaries, and if I were here to recommend all of them then we would be here all day. Not really ‘funny’ like the other entries on this list, it’s actually rather tragic, but definitely a cerebral viewing experience. Available on Netflix

Screwball: Now this is a documentary that IS funny. It’s about drug scandals in baseball. But the dramatic scene re-enactments are done with child actors that are all wearing fake beards and pretending to be drug dealers. It’s not only a fascinating subject, but it’s got amazing editing and visuals that have me in awe. Available on Netflix

Behind the Curve: Yet another documentary. This one’s about the rise of the Flat Earth movement. You’ll spend most of the time on the verge of having a stroke because of how stupid it all is. Available on Netflix

The Movies That Made Us: Okay okay okay last documentary on the list I swear. This one’s exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a series talking about the behind-the-scenes production of iconic movies like Home Alone and Ghostbusters. I eagerly await the second season. Available on Netflix

Monster Factory: If you’re familiar with the McElroy brothers and their brand of humour, you’ll love this. Griffin and Justin team up to make the most disturbing avatars they can create using video game character creators. The origins of the Final Pam meme. If I had a shirt with a quote from Monster Factory on it, I’d die a happy man. Available on Youtube

Baman Piderman: The dumbest show I have ever watched, but it’s so adorable and stupid and I love it so much. It doesn’t really have a plot, but later episodes allude to the presence of one and I’m upset because there are so many mysteries/questions hinted at and we’ll never get answers because it’s been abandoned. PLEASE watch it. Available on Youtube

Stranger Things: Okay, season 2 was a bit of a let-down imo, but season 1 was ICONIC and the Scoops Troop subplot in season 3 deserved its own freakin spinoff. I’m not joking. I didn’t even like s3 all that much, but the only reason it’s my favourite is because the Scoops Troop plot was so great. People call this show ‘horror’ but I don’t think it’s scary enough for that, although it is admittedly kinda spooky. If you like 80s nostalgia and the horror aesthetic, then I’d give it a watch (Do it for Scoops Troop. Do it for Robin). Available on Netflix

Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart: Despite my overwhelming love for this film, I’ll be the first to admit it’s kinda mediocre. The plot is weird and the romance feels forced, but despite its flaws it manages to be one of my favourite movies. Mostly I just like it for the unique concept and beautiful ending. Also the music is off the par man. Probably because the writer/producer of the movie was the lead singer for a French band called Dionysus (what? I do my research). Available on Netflix

Wakfu: I haven’t seen past season 3, but so far it’s pretty good. You go in thinking it’s just a wholesome action/adventure show about a kid who can create portals - but then it just. Sucks you in. From its bopping theme song to its fantastic found family to the unique worldbuilding, you very quickly fall in love with it. It’s got a cool plot and also talking dragons, and it doesn’t get better than that. Available on Netflix

Mystery Skulls Animated: Technically not a TV show so much as it is a series of animated music videos with a plot, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the greatest things of all time. It’s basically Scooby Doo but if Shaggy got possessed by a demon and killed Fred, causing Fred to become a ghost hellbent on revenge-killing Shaggy in return. And if Scooby was an ancient Japanese spirit that bit off Shaggy’s arm, forcing him to wear a metal prosthetic. Yeah, MSA is wild. It’s only got three videos out so far, with a fourth one coming out this October, but there’s already so much lore! Available on Youtube

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared: Ah yes, yet another cringey entry on this list. But you know what? Cringe culture is dead!!! And despite its fandom being...like that...DHMIS really is a cool show. Think if Sesame Street was like haunted or something. The episodes about creativity and telling time remain the most unsettling, imo. Definitely worth a watch. Available on Youtube

Inanimate Insanity: Oh boy. Am I seriously recommending you dip your little fingies into the object fandom? Yes. Yes I am. This show is so obscure it makes freakin Detective Conan look popular. At its core it’s a parody of Total Drama Island and Survivor but with anthropomorphized inanimate objects as characters (hence the name). Season 2 is actually really, really good and surprisingly competent. You just gotta get through season 1 first. Available on Youtube

The X-Files: Wow, a live action series on this list? Who woulda thought??? But seriously, this show is really fun. Memes and jokes aside, I love it. Scully and Mulder are fun characters with great chemistry (both platonic and romantic), the Lone Horsemen are hilarious, and every episode is a unique adventure into the most creative acid trips the human mind could conceive of. Phenomenal from start to finish (if you ignore the last season). I have no clue where you would watch this. Pirate it, probably

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Two idiots investigate cold cases and haunted locales while being utter dumbasses about it. You know the “hey demons it’s be ya boi” meme? That came from these guys. Available on Youtube

Kingdom: Ngl, I didn’t go into this expecting zombies. Or for it to take place during Korean feudalism, for that matter. But mediocre dubbing aside, this show has such a clever concept. It takes the zombie apocalypse genre and gives refreshing, unique twists to old tropes that they feel like something new. Seo-bi is my wife and she deserves all the love and appreciation in the world, and those are just Facts. Available on Netflix

My Hero Academia: Superhero high school anime. I personally am not a fan of later episodes/arcs, but the first three seasons are pretty dang good. Diverse, colourful ensemble cast that you easily grow to adore, interesting commentary on disability (although I’m not qualified to give any actual takes on that), and a school curriculum that makes me very, very concerned for the wellbeing of these children. Plus all the superpowers - aka ‘quirks’ - are super imaginative and, well, quirky! I just wish people would stop shipping the main character with his childhood bully...You’ll need to pirate this one too lmao

Danny Phantom: The highlight of this show is its ‘phandom’, because unlike someone (*cough* Butch Hartman), we’re not a bunch of cowards. It’s about a guy who messes around with his parents’ lab stuff and accidentally acquires the ability to die! Well, half-die. He can turn into a ghost and fight other ghosts. Although the show never explores the existential, traumatic fallout of being kinda-sorta-dead, the potential for something deep and emotional is there. Plus there is a LOT of accidental subtext for a Big LGBT+ Metaphor. So much so that the Trans Danny theory is basically canon. Uhhh not available on Netflix anymore so it’s time to whip out your pirate hat, matey

And there you have it! Like I said, I have a lot of TV recommendations. And I just KNOW I’m forgetting a ton, but this is already really long so we’ll have to cut off here. 

Thanks for the ask! <3

[theroseandcrown]

The Rose & Crown: Chapter Five

Rating: M Chapters: 5/24

Summary: Clara and the Doctor find themselves on the trail of the mystery surrounding their memory loss. What will they find when they follow the clues?

Read this story on another platform: Archive of Our Own Fan Fiction WattPad

Clara had always been impressed by the selection of clothing available to her in the ship’s wardrobe. The items she found in there consisted of such created by the TARDIS herself or those that had been left behind by the Doctor’s previous companions. Either way, they excelled in their knowledge of well-fashioned taste when it came to providing her with disguises to accompany him on his travels. Whether it be the year nineteen hundred or forty thousand, the old gal certainly knew how to treat a girl. Although, this time she may have outdone herself a bit. Having searched for quite some time through the ever-changing, ever relocating closet, her heart jumped when she saw the dress. Champagne in colour, the floor-length fabric was entirely embroidered with tiny sparkling silver patterned jewels from the modestly draped straps over her shoulders to the tips of her clear heeled shoes. Gazing at her finished form in the mirror, the dress seemed to embrace her with an ethereal glow. A part of her shook the thought that a particular dress of this nature might be too fashionable for a girl such as her. She exited the wardrobe and headed for the control room where the Doctor told her to meet him. Hesitating for only a moment to regain her confidence, she lifted her skirt above her shoes and climbed the metal staircase towards the heart of the TARDIS.

“Finally!” the Doctor exclaimed after hearing her soft footsteps approaching from behind. “You’ve been down there nearly an hour!” He spun around to face her. “What on Earth took you so-?” And then he saw her, truly saw her. Her presence in the room suddenly cleared him of all thought and speech. He had travelled with her an uncountable amount of times. From the past to the future and beyond even that. And yet, she always remained the same Clara to him no matter what version of her he was with. Always his impossible girl. There was no one else he would rather have by his side. He cared for her more deeply than he would ever dare to admit. All the dangers he put her through, all the incidences in which he thought he’d lost her had been more unbearable each time. He fought to keep the feelings he had for her from himself and anyone they ever encountered together from the moment he first laid eyes upon her in his previous form. He felt that somewhere buried deep inside his stubbornness, she would never accept him in this body as she did with his last. This furrowed old man he had become could never compete with the love she still carried in her heart for his younger self. It was better this way. Emotions are dangerous. There were far too many enemies in the universe willing to take advantage of a weakness so great.

Something inside of him was freed from its forgotten place as she approached him, a feeling he thought he would never have for anyone else. He couldn’t tear himself away from her magnificent grace. She could light up every star in the sky or power an entire world with just the look in her eyes at that moment. He could feel the electricity emanating through the air in the palms of his hands. The deafening silence in the room could only be tamed by the delicate sound of her shoes tapping along the metal flooring. He watched her approach until she was but an arm’s length in front of him. “You look, uh…” were the only words he could manage.

“Is it too much?”

“No, um-”

“It’s too much, isn’t it,” she responded nervously, beginning to feel foolish.

“No, no! Well, I mean, it’s not bad. For a girl who can’t even tie a tie correctly. But I suppose the dress will have to do,” he humoured her in an attempt to maintain a hold over his emotions.

“Thanks.” She knew that was the closest to a compliment as she was going to get. She noticed he’d taken the time to groom himself in her absence. A characteristic he hadn’t seemed to have adopted very often in this body, if at all. And yet, something about the way he looked in his tuxedo warmed her from within as if she were standing beside an open flame during the dead of winter. All the anger she felt earlier in the day and the past several weeks had melted away leaving no trace of its former existence. The warm feeling inside of her began to grow more intense as she stepped closer, their shoes nearly touching. “I could say the same about you,” she pointed out, slowly reaching up to straighten his tie.

He watched her every move. His hearts raced at the sensation of her fingers grazing along the outside of his collared shirt. He gazed down at the top of her head as she perfected his slightly skewed necktie. The closer she was to him, the more he could feel the electricity making its way throughout his body. There was something different about her, something he hadn’t noticed before. Not strange, per se, a rather enjoyable feeling actually. A warmth about her. He felt the tiny hairs on his arms rise underneath the sleeves of his jacket. A very faint, almost entirely unnoticeable connection to his telepathic abilities could be detected. Is she somehow reading my mind?

“Well!” He nervously pulled away from her grasp and quickly moved to the console. He feared he may have endured her closeness for too long. If she had been reading his mind, there was no doubt he might have let some thoughts slip by he shouldn’t have. Trying to distract himself, he made a few adjustments to the computer. “Shall we?” he asked, extending a hand towards her. He could sense her reluctance, possibly having to do with the day’s previous conflict between them. The look of uncertainty in her eyes. He knew he had tampered with her trust in him. There was only one way to make it right. “Clara Oswald, I would be deeply honoured if you would accompany me as... my date,” he requested, offering a bent arm for her to accept if it pleased her. Clara smiled. The same smile that drove him into the deepest parts of his sanity. Accepting his offer, she interlocked her arm in his and prepared to be transported to the next adventure. Matching her smile with his own, he pulled down on the lever and sent the time machine to its instructed coordinates.

Prima Nova

The TARDIS materialized into the medium-sized vacant room. The door opened and the Doctor poked his head out from within to examine their new surroundings. Once it was decidedly safe, he exited the box as Clara followed closely behind.

“Well, this is exciting!” She took hold of his arm with her own. The anticipation of what was out there sent a sense of thrill throughout her body. Each time they encountered the unknown together, there was always a feeling of excitement mixed with a small amount of fear of what they might come across. But this time felt different. Being with him made her truly feel like a part of his life again. “It’s as if we’re solving our own mystery! Just the lot of us. Like Sherlock Holmes!”

“Yes, well, if only Sir Conan Doyle had known the true identity of whom he really based his main character on, I’d bet he would’ve looked a little more green, and had scales, and was actually a woman,” he replied, remembering his past adventures with Vastra, Jenny, and Strax. Back when he felt the universe didn’t need him to be the Doctor anymore. Back when he had given up all hope. “Besides, their mysteries were nothing but child’s play in comparison to what I’ve seen in my lifetime. Imagine the pair of them encountering an army of Cybermen back in their day. What a great story that would have been to tell the kiddies.”

They approached the extraordinarily large double doors to the room in which they were standing. They were over a storey in height and several arm lengths wide. A questioning look appeared on his face as he took out his sonic-screwdriver and attempted to scan the door. Other than being made of wood, in which the screwdriver lacked in its abilities, there was nothing he would usually be concerned about. Except that these doors appeared brand new as if they had just been installed, unlike the other walls in the room or the ancient relics hosted inside of it.

“Doctor? What is it?” Her grip on him tightened with concern.

“This door. It’s unusually large for a room this size, don’t you think?”

“Maybe they’re just really tall people?” She couldn’t help the smile that formed.

Frowning at her humour, he placed his ear to the wood and listened for any sounds. Glancing towards her, he opened the door. The light from the other side brightly filled the space all around them. In the next room, they could see hundreds of well-dressed normal-sized people chatting and mingling amongst each other while oblivious to their entrance. Shutting the door behind them, he led her into the crowd to blend in as if they had been there all along. “Now remember,” he warned, continuing to lead her through the mixed mass of aliens. “We’re here to find out what happened to us, not to dilly-dally. No distractions. Look for anything you might remember.”

Clara frowned. All these people enjoying themselves and she was stuck with the Time Lord, Slayer of Fun. Doing as he asked, her eyes scanned the room for anything that would jog her memory. She didn’t recognize any of the other guests nor the room they were in. Nothing out of the ordinary, besides being surrounded by aliens of course. However, she supposed that to them it was she who was the alien. She noticed a strange object hanging from the ceiling high above the guests�� heads. An orb-like structure encased in shaded glass. “What’s that?” she asked, pointing upwards.

“Brain scanner,” he responded, having already noticed it the second they entered the lobby. “It detects ill-intent.”

“What would they need a brain scanner for at a party?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

She could feel him pulling her towards the next room where they were greeted by a well-dressed man of a species she was not familiar with. He stood eagerly behind a host’s station. A badge clung just below his lapel were inscribed with the words Xarbanka, Maître D’.

“Ah! Mr and Mrs Smith!” he addressed them, extending a scaled hand towards the Doctor. “So good to see you again! Mrs Smith, you look absolutely stunning this evening!” He returned his attention to the Doctor. “Better keep a good eye on her tonight, sir!” he boasted with a friendly smile.

“Will do,” he replied, trying to keep the thought of having no memory of this man at rest.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” the man added, retrieving a lightweight box from inside the station. “This arrived earlier today with strict instructions to deliver to you personally upon your arrival.”

“For me?” The Doctor raised a questioning brow. “Who sent it?”

“They didn’t say. It was accompanied by this.” The man pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to him.

Taking the note, he opened it to observe its message. For Mr Smith, from a friend. Glancing towards the Maître D’, he placed the note inside his pocket and released the clip holding the small box shut before hesitantly opening the lid. Inside were two identical pairs of what appeared to be ordinary reading glasses. Upon examination, he found nothing peculiar about them. Removing them from their case, he promptly placed them into his jacket pocket and nodded his gratitude towards the man. Turning to Clara, he noticed she was experiencing the same confusion as he. “Well, shall we head for the refreshments, dear?” A smile formed on his face as he played along with his new role. They parted ways with the man and headed towards the entrance of the next room where the sound of live music was heard playing.

“That was a bit strange,” she whispered. “Were you expecting a package here?”

“No, which means whoever sent it must have known we were going to be here at this exact moment.”

“So, Mr Smith, eh?” She tried to hold back her laughter. “They get a lot of caretakers to come to these things, do they?”

“And, apparently, their wives,” he teased.

“Hmm, Mrs Clara Smith. Doesn’t sound all that bad. Better than Mrs The Doctor. Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.” She let out a small laugh.

“My, aren’t we chipper this evening,” he noted, addressing her sudden adjustment in mood from earlier. The more they immersed themselves into their surroundings, the brighter she had become. He could feel the happiness resounding inside of her now seeping into him. “To what do I owe this new change? Surely you haven’t forgiven me for everything already,” he prodded, yet remained hopeful the answer would be, ‘Yes.’

“I dunno.” Clara thought about it. It was as if she didn’t even remember being so cross with him. As if it happened ages ago. Whatever feelings she felt before had been replaced by something else, something warmer. Something she wasn’t so sure she had control of. Whatever it was, she liked it. She liked the way she felt around him now more than ever. The thoughts and feelings she still clung to of his last form were slowly being replaced by his new one. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. You’re here now,” she added. As they entered the next room, her grip on him tightened. “Doctor!” she nearly gasped his name. “I’ve been here before. I remember this room from my dream.” She looked around the structure to observe the walls and flooring. It was the same as the nightmare she experienced right before the spectre attacked her. It sent shivers down her spine seeing this place again. Her eyes searched the room for the ghosts she had seen before only to find it was vacant of them. Even the people were different from those in her vision.

“Do you recognize anyone?” he asked, taking in all the details they might have been missing.

“No, you?”

“Nothing.” He strained to discover a clue, anything that might jog his memory of having been there before. He noticed a second scanner atop the ceiling and assumed there was one in each room.

As Clara examined the unfamiliar faces, she couldn’t help but wonder it if was possible they had been wrong. That there wasn’t anything there to find. Had they come all this way for nothing? She continued to observe the guests paired with their partners and dancing to the rhythm of the music. So carefree, so unaware of anything out of the ordinary. Just simply dancing and enjoying the company of one another. Feeling safer, for the moment, she turned to him. “Would you care to dance?”

“Good thinking! Blend in, gather details. Surely one of these people holds the key to our memory!”

Shaking her head, she smiled and determined that he would always be the same old Doctor to her no matter how hard she tried to tame him. A part of her loved that about him and wouldn’t change it for anything.

He took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. Facing her, he realized how long it had been since he had done this even if it were to simply gather data. Trying to recall exactly where he was supposed to put his hands and who was supposed to lead, he decided to go with his instincts instead. Under any other circumstances, he would have felt the flutter of his hearts beating. But this time, something about her was different. She placed the palm of her hand in his, the other wrapped around his back to which he mirrored. As he held her hand, he felt an overwhelming sense of emotion as he detected the vast amount of electricity emanating from her soft delicate fingers entwined in his own. He tried to hide his concern and concentrate on his objective, finding those responsible for all of this. Yet he couldn’t keep his mind focused on anything else. What was different about her? What was he missing? Stay focused, Doctor. Don’t lose yourself in her eyes. You are here for a reason. His mind teetered between studying the room and her gaze. He could feel her pulse in the palm of his hand, though it was strangely foreign. Far too fast to be her own. It’s nothing, she’s just excited. You mustn’t get distracted.

He could feel his muscles tense as her body drew close to his. Her head rested on his shoulder. The hand he claimed around her back found its way to her waist while the other held onto hers firmly. The same warmth he felt before in the TARDIS began to rise within him. The electricity from her hand deepened as if it were connecting to every fibre in his body. What is she doing to me, he wondered? Trying his hardest to stay on task, he began to distract his senses with observation. He counted the tiles on the floor, the number of beverages being passed around, anything even remotely relevant to their reason for being there. He noticed a few of the guests had their attention turned towards them. Did he know them? Did they know him? Could they be involved or was he just feeling paranoid? Before he lost himself in her arms, he attempted to de-escalate the intensity of their embrace. “I feel we are being watched,” he finally spoke, breaking the silence of the moment.

“By who?” she asked, slowly lifting her head off his shoulder.

“Usurians, behind you.”

“What’s a Usurian?” She started to look in their direction.

“Don’t turn around!” he ordered quietly, closely monitoring the other guests as he waited for just the right moment. Seizing the opportunity, he spun her around to the rhythm of the music. His dominant hand retained its grasp on hers as her back became flushed up against him. His other hand slid across her front and held her midsection firmly, pulling her even closer. He ignored the small gasp that escaped her lips. “There, just in front of you,” he whispered into her ear. “Do you recognize them?”

Clara, trying to swallow the surprise that overtook her from his sudden intimacy, glanced in the direction of which he was speaking. “No, I don’t think so.” She hardly even looked at the suspected guests, being too distracted by his closeness. Her free hand found its way to his and placed it gently atop his own. She could feel herself breathing more heavily as he applied pressure to her abdomen.

The Doctor, not ready to eliminate the Usurians as possible suspects, scanned the room again looking for more clues. Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, a powerful surge swept through him originating from the hand resting securely upon Clara’s body. A telepathic connection he hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was so unbelievably strong, it pulled him out of his reality entirely.

He opened his eyes to find himself in an undetermined space, relocated from where he last stood as if he had been teleported. Darkness had formed all around him. Am I dreaming?  Far off in the distance, he saw a small light. Approaching slowly, he shielded his eyes from the intense glow emanating from it. As he drew closer, more finite details of its existence began to occupy the void surrounding him. Light particles circulated from its main source. The closer he stepped, the more he could hear it trying to speak to him. He heard the sound of its heart beating faintly, then louder until it beat like a drum deep in his soul. Yet there was something different about it. Something only he would be able to feel. There were two. Two distinct heartbeats originating from the same source. No, it can’t be! How is this possible?! He found himself being drawn to its life force, unable to stop himself from stepping closer until he could nearly reach it. The light burned his eyes yet he could not look away. His hand reached out, ready to succumb to its will, until his fingers made their first contact with it. Then there was a flash of light.

The Doctor opened his eyes once again, gasping and breathing heavily. He searched his surroundings thoroughly. He was back in the ballroom. His hand was still clenched around Clara’s as the other pressed her tightly against him from behind. Panic came over him. He quickly released himself from her and stepped away as the music came to an end. He saw her turn to face him, her eyes conveyed worry and concern for her friend. He couldn’t shake the vision in his head of what he saw, for what he feared was happening inside of her. He tried to even conceive of the possibility. His mind raced, his hearts beat rapidly in his chest. No, this isn’t possible!  Yet everything he knew and felt was pointing to only one answer, that his Clara was with child.

“Doctor?” She stepped closer only to watch him step even farther away. His eyes were wide with fright. “Doctor, what is it? What’s wrong?”

His mind burst and flooded with a thousand thoughts as if it were a shattering dam. So many questions, so little answers. It all started to make sense and didn’t at the same time. The electricity and warmth he felt just being around her, a warmth he thought to be the deep feelings he carried for her, was, in reality, the tangible emotions of the life form growing inside of her. Emotions they now shared. If Clara was upset, the child would imitate her distress. When she became elated, so would the child. And if she were to experience pain or suffering...

“I-I’m not sure.” He kept his distance. The words he wanted to say were lost under miles of thought. She came closer, the look of fear on her face as she did when they were in real danger. He couldn’t move, not because of the couples dancing all around him and trapping him where he was, but because his legs would not allow him to. As she stood in front of him, her hand reached for his. “Don’t,” he stopped her firmly. He couldn’t bear their touch again. Not now. Not when his mind needed to repair itself of its malfunction. They stood in unbearable silence, the music having long since ended as the musicians adjusted their pages for the next set. “I think I’ve had quite enough dancing for one evening,” he told her, trying to keep the worry off his face.

Clara was confused and mildly hurt. Had she done something wrong? Why was he so flustered, she wondered? The music started to sound again yet neither one of them yielded their positions on the floor. She hardly even noticed the young man approaching her side.

“Excuse me, Miss?” the man addressed her.

She turned to him, nearly forgetting the Doctor’s strange behaviour. She was taken aback by his youthful features. Not young enough to be a boy but certainly not too old either. He appeared human, but so did many others who either were or simply used a type of cloaking device to possibly hide their true race from potential enemies.

“I was just wondering,” he continued shyly, “if you would do me the honour of sharing this dance with me. If it pleases you.” He looked towards the Doctor. “Of course, that is if you do not mind, sir?”

“Well, actually,” he started, trying not to show his infuriated demeanour over the sudden interruption between them. “We were just about to-”

“I’d love to.” She took the arm of the young man.

“Clara, we really should be going,” he insisted, attempting to lure her back to him.

“I’ll only be a minute! I’m sure you can ‘handle things in my stead,’” she replied, turning his own words against him.

Impossible woman! The Doctor attempted to remain unaltered by her unexpected leave of him. He removed himself from the crowd and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms in disapproval as he watched them from a distance. He could see the young man take her into his arms and pull her close to his chest. She appeared to be somewhat taken with him, laughing and smiling in his direction. He could feel himself becoming jealous but tried to ignore it. Of course she would feel an attraction, just look at him! He’s everything I’m not; young and handsome. While compared to him, I’m nothing but a frustrated emotionless old man.

He attempted to distract himself by continuing to observe the room around them. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe they were too late. Or just maybe there was nothing there for them to find. But why the brain scanners? What could be so crucial there to require them? And even more importantly, who sent him the glasses? Who had known he was going to be there on this exact night? His eyes drew back to his companion. The young man’s hand had found its way to her waist, her head rested just slight of his lapel. “Will this song never end?!” he mumbled to himself.

As he continued to watch them, he couldn’t help but think of the child developing inside of her. Was she aware of its presence? Could she feel it within her or was it simply too early to detect? The dreaded thought of how it came to be was secondary to his greatest concern, that the child was of Gallifreyan decent. The list of possible fathers was too short to deny being responsible for any part of it. But how had this happened? There must be some sort of an explanation, he thought. The song finally ended and the young pair made their way towards the refreshments.

“May I offer you something? Some champagne perhaps?” asked the young man.

“That would be lovely, thank you.” She watched him head towards the bar to attract the attention of the bartender.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” she heard the voice of the Doctor say behind her. Rolling her eyes, she turned around to face him. “My my, what a lovely couple you two are!” he added.

“Doctor,” she replied, now slightly annoyed with him.

“How old is he? Twelve? Thirteen? Ages, not my area.”

Ignoring his jealous comments, she decided to change the subject. “Did you find anything?”

“Oh, I thought we were here to dance and party!” Behind her, he saw the young man returning with two filled glasses in his hands. “And drink!”

“Champagne, for the lady,” the young man offered, handing her a glass.

“Thank you.” Accepting the glass from him, she raised it to toast the gentlemen.

“That other one must be for me then?” the Doctor asked the boy, his temper getting the better of him.

“Doctor!” she hushed him, lightly smacking his arm. “Behave.”

He watched her bring the glass to her lips. A sudden unexplainable protectiveness came over him as he removed the drink from her hand before she could take a sip. “No, I don’t think so. We wouldn’t want you to get all sloshy.” He handed the drink back to the young man. “Don’t let her appearance fool you. She’s a terrible drunk. Absolutely the worst! Now, if you’ll excuse us.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her away from the confused man.

“That was incredibly rude,” she scolded.

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll forget all about you. Plenty of other sultry girls here to choose from.” He felt her rip her arm away from his grasp. Surprised, he turned around to see her face. He could only describe the look of shock and hurt in her eyes.

“Is that what you think of me then?” she asked as tears started to form at the brim of her eyes.

“No, of course not.” He realized he had let his jealousy take control of him. “Clara, I need to speak with you,” he implored, extending a hand towards her apologetically. After a moment, she wiped the tears from her eyes and took his hand. He took her to a less crowded area of the room and made sure there was no one listening in. He looked into her eyes, still damp from tears. He didn’t even know what to say or how to begin. He brushed the loosened hairs from her face and wiped the remaining tear still clinging to her cheek. “Clara, I-” he stopped himself and ran his fingers through his hair. Why is this so difficult? Just tell her! He sighed heavily and regained his thoughts. “Clara, I need to tell you something.” She did not reply, only gazed into his eyes awaiting his next words which only made it harder for him to speak. At last, he found the courage to tell her the truth. “This may be difficult for you to understand right now, but you… you’re-”

“Welcome guests to the Prima Nova Biannual Charity Auction Ball!” a woman suddenly shouted from the top of the stairs. The guests cheered and clapped at her entrance.

The Doctor was frozen in thought by the interruption. He knew that voice. It sent a cold chill of unavoidable fear down his spine. There was only one person he knew of who had power over him such as that. He glanced towards the sound of her voice hoping he was very wrong about the thoughts invading his mind.

“I’ll be your host this evening,” she continued, descending the stairs. “But you may call me... the Mistress.”

[balancingdiet]

Tabula Rasa

Detective Conan & Magic Kaito Characters: Shinichi/Kaito Words: 3100 ish Chapter: (1) … (17) (18) (19)

Shinichi always finds his neighbour weird. But he didn’t expect to find his neighbour lying on a patch of grass and donned in Kaitou Kid’s costume, too.

Shinichi had experienced a fair share of pain—both physically and emotionally—to understand how some of them could feel familiar. But he never knew pain could be nostalgic too.

The sudden, sharp pain hit between Shinichi’s brows again.

It came in a set of three, a cooing sound, and then another...

Shinichi opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was white, but it wasn’t the culprit that was pecking his forehead. Tamago, or whoever that dove was, had flown away once Shinichi stirred and woke up, and the whiteness he saw was the rumpled bedsheet he had laid his head and accidentally fell asleep on.

Shinichi straightened away from the side of the bed and on his chair, and it was only after a second then he registered Kaito’s bed was empty. 

Widening his eyes, Shinichi spun around in his seat, and he found relief when he saw Kaito standing on the balcony (his navy blue shirt camouflaged him well against the dark sky, but his white pants exposed him bright). He was facing the street and dangling his bandaged hands over the railing.

When Kaito fainted in his arms, Shinichi thought of bringing him to the couch in the living room, like what he did during that incident long, long time ago. But he decided to carry Kaito up to the bedroom, thinking it would be a better place to rest for him. Turns out, the clock on the wall now showed an hour before dawn, meaning Kaito woke up not long after he fainted. 

And what a plot twist, it was Shinichi that rested instead.

Shinichi stood up from the chair, not realising the existence of the blanket over his shoulder until it fell off and pooled on the floor. He stared at it for a moment longer than necessary before picking the blanket up and looking at Kaito’s back again.

He didn’t feel as though he deserved this.

Shinichi placed the blanket back on the bed. And now that he could properly look instead of fussing over Kaito’s comfort and tending to his hands previously, he noticed the bed was small. Or rather, it was small because of how sparse Kaito's bedroom was; there was nothing much, besides the bed, a corner desk, and a wardrobe.

To think that Kaito had make this home permanent… The first floor definitely fooled Shinichi well. 

Tentatively, Shinichi walked to the balcony and slid the glass door aside. It was breezy, and the moisture in the air smelt thicker than Shinichi last remembered when he first arrived home. 

”You’re awake,” Kaito said as a greeting.

Shinichi closed the balcony door shut and approached the railing. “Same back at you.”

“You snored.”

This was the last thing he expected the conversation to start with. Shinichi scowled. “I did not.”

Kaito laughed. “You don’t need to feel embarrassed. Your snore is pretty soft anyway.” 

"Don’t change the subject," was what Shinichi wanted to rebuke, but he pursed his lips, unable to form any words as he continued to stare at the side of Kaito’s face.

There was no subject, or anything, for Shinichi to say in the first place—

“How much do you know?” Kaito suddenly said as he continued to face the dark streets below.

“...What?”

Kaito pulled out one of the fragments of the shattered red gem from his pocket, which Shinichi had gathered from the backyard and placed them all on Kaito's desk. 

“For starters,” Kaito said as he fiddled the shard with dull interest. “Do you believe there’s a gem that can shed tears of immortality?” 

Immortality?

Shinichi stared.

For someone who once shrunk by ten years of age, it was hard for Shinichi to say he didn’t believe it, even if he didn’t want to. But in this context and from the way Kaito asked, he wasn’t sure what the correct answer should be.

“Maybe,” Shinichi said instead.

Kaito squeezed the shard in his fist before pounding it over the railing. Shinichi winced.

“To be honest, I don’t,” Kaito said. “But if I don’t, I don’t have anything else to pin on for all the sacrifices that had been made.”

From Kaito's reactions and the evidence in his hand, it was clear all the countless heists Kaitou Kid had done wasn’t to obtain this so-called tears of immortality, but to destroy it. 

But why?

And what sacrifices?

As though Kaito read Shinichi’s thoughts, he spoke, “Kuroba Toichi, my dad, was the first Kaitou Kid.” 

Shinichi widened his eyes.

“He died at the hands of the people who were seeking for this same gem, but I didn’t know anything back then. I’d thought he died due to a magic accident.” Kaito cleared his throat. “And so, the first Kaitou Kid disappeared from the surface of the Earth.”

It wasn’t hard for Shinichi to construct the timeline calculations in his head, and his heart swelled at the realisation of another horror in Kaito’s past. 

He was only eight.

“Years later, I found a secret basement that my dad left behind. I didn’t think much of the consequences but only wanted answers, so I decided to be the ghost of the Phantom Thief.”

“…Why are you suddenly telling me all these?” 

Kaito tilted his head. “After all that earlier commotion, I figured you'd want to know.”

Shinichi hesitated. “But not at the expense of your feelings.”

Kaito chuckled, yet nothing about his laughter sounded real to Shinichi at all. “It’s okay,” he said.

”How is this okay?” Shinichi wanted to yell back, but all the thoughts and words and sorrows of the entire moment were stuck as a lump in his throat. What’s more, this was just the start of Kaito’s past. How could Shinichi, much less Kaito, be able to bear it if they continued to delve deeper into it?

And about Aoko…?

Kaito regarded Shinichi for a while. “It seems as if you know something.”

Shinichi inadvertently glanced away, only proving Kaito’s suspicion right.

“Back to my first question.” Kaito turned around to lean his back against the railings. “How much do you know?” 

Shinichi pursed his lips.

“Tell me,” Kaito urged.

“…I happened to chance upon a few things and made my own guesses.”

“What are they?”

As the wind started to pick up and howl in the originally silent night, Shinichi reluctantly explained the things he thought he would carry to his grave—about Kaito’s unconscious apology to a person named Aoko, the hospital conversation, and the blue rose he found in front of the clock tower. But it wasn’t just unravelling Kaito’s secrets that made Shinichi horrible; having to see the weight pressing down on Kaito’s shoulders as he continued made everything much worse.

By the end of everything, Kaito finally nodded. “As expected of the Detective of the East, you’re right,” he said. “Aoko… She died three years ago.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“I know.” Kaito raised a hand. “Just let me bring some humour into this conversation, can you?”

Shinichi returned a wry smile. It seemed the least he could do.

“Those people you mentioned earlier,” Shinichi began. “Are they some kind of organization?”

Kaito nodded as he pocketed the shard back into his pocket in silence.

“Are you pissed because you were expecting my answer to be… something exciting? Like, maybe someone from a deadly, criminal organization was hunting me down because I’m a threat to their secret plot?”

So it wasn’t just a taunt Kaito made back then. There were some truth in there too.

“The organization—"

“Done and dusted like yours,” Kaito said. “In fact, I believe it was led by a member that worked under the Black Organization you destroyed. Everything slowly fell apart after you finished them.”

Shinichi said nothing, still struggling to get his feelings towards Kaito’s response straight. There was relief for another end of a criminal organization, but there were some things that didn’t make sense—like why Kaitou Kid still existed if everything was over—and also the guilt, that if Shinichi had brought the BO down sooner…

“About Aoko.” Shinichi swallowed, not sure if it was right to call her name like this. “Did she die in the hands of the same people who killed your father? Before their downfall?”

Something flickered in Kaito’s eyes; it was so brief, yet impactful enough to send even more guilt towards Shinichi’s way.

“It was before, but no, it wasn’t because of them,” Kaito said, and he raised his head to stare at the sky above them. There was a heavy pause, then he added, in a lower tone: “She died because of me.”

What?

“Since Aoko was young, her mother hadn’t been the best of health,” Kaito continued looking at the sky. “Just a few months after her family moved into my neighbourhood, her mother fell ill and had to be admitted into the hospital. Aoko visited her every day of the week, and I accompanied her several times. But after battling the illness for a year, Aoko’s mother passed away.

“Years later after we reached the eligible age, she signed up for a volunteering program in the hospital. And I followed too. Since then, it became our weekend thing; I would perform magic performance for the patients and visitors and she was my assistant. But everything changed after I started becoming Kaitou Kid.

“Life got busier for me, but I still managed to squeeze in some time to attend at least two sessions a month. Aoko obviously noticed the changes, but rather than questioning me about it, she was still grateful.” Kaito suddenly gave a bitter laugh. “She was always grateful.”

Shinichi nodded understandingly.

Kaito continued, “But things changed even drastically after those men that killed my father confronted me, while revealing they were searching for Pandora—the alias of that immortality stone. Since then I started planning and focusing on stealing gems. While hoping to find Pandora first, it was also to lure them out so I could bring them down easier.

“A year or so later, I discovered a rumour that said the Pandora was in Japan. I tripled my heists' activity and worked like hell to find it, and as a result, I’d severely neglected Aoko and missed all the volunteering sessions I should have gone.

“Then, on the night of my heist, which was also the night when Aoko went to the hospital to volunteer, a fire broke out at one of the facilities.” Kaito glanced at Shinichi. ”I’m not sure if you remember or know, but it was on the news.”

Shinichi frowned. “The hospital you invited me to?”

Kaito nodded.

“I… I don’t recall.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to.” Kaito licked his lips and took a deep breath. “Well, a fire broke out, but…” 

“...”

“But, sh— she...”

“She didn’t make it out in time,” Shinichi whispered, finishing the sentence Kaito had trouble completing. 

After a long while, Kaito nodded again. But he wasn’t exactly calm. 

He was simply… gone.

Shinichi parted his lips, ready to explain how the fire was an accident, and that it wasn’t Kaito’s fault. But as Shinichi took a breath to speak that, he knew Kaito had probably heard those words over a thousand of times, and beyond that, they weren’t the things Kaito needed at the moment.

So all Shinichi did was raising a hand and reached out for Kaito’s shoulder, giving it a light pat.

But that pat was like a wrecking ball, because the next thing Shinichi realized, tears welled up in Kaito’s eyes, like a gush of water bursting out from behind the broken glass walls. 

And those waves surged Shinichi, sending him in a swirl of his own tsunami too.

“The gem I stolen that night wasn’t even fucking Pandora, and those scums didn’t appear during that heist either,” Kaito choked out before pressing the palms of his bandaged hands into his face. “So in exchange for that wasted night, Aoko died.”

Shinichi felt a sting in an eye before rubbing it away. 

“Maybe she was lost on the floor. Or maybe she was trapped behind some damn door. But one thing I know for sure was if I wasn’t doing some fucking heist that night and was there with her for the volunteering session, she wouldn’t have died,” Kaito continued to blabber, “I couldn’t save my dad the last time, but I believe I could have saved Aoko.”

“Kaito—”

“And what else?” Kaito interrupted as he swung his arms back to his side, showing his slightly swollen eyes. “Oh, yeah. Sometimes when I’m flying, I’d see a vision of the burning hospital. I usually could control it, but on the night you found me, I had to stab myself in order to gain back my senses and flight control because the panic attack was too overwhelming—”

All of the sudden, Kaito grabbed the front of his blue shirt and heaved. 

Shinichi held onto Kaito’s elbow. “Hey, are you okay?” 

"I’m good.” Kaito sniffed and afforded a quick, reassuring smile before his face grew serious again. “Do you remember the time you told me to take a break? I actually did before, for two years.”

“The period you suddenly disappeared,” Shinichi said.

“Yeah. I stopped being Kaitou Kid after their downfall, but... I didn't think it was enough to account for the sacrifices.” Kaito patted a hand over his pocket. “Pandora owed me this much.”

Sacrifices...  

“Did Aoko know you’re Kaitou Kid?” The words rolled out of Shinichi's tongue.

During the seconds as Kaito mulled over the question, Shinichi started to panic, wondering if it was a wrong thing to ask. But before he could retract his statement, Kaito left the railing and walked back into the bedroom.

Shinichi followed, closing the glass door behind him.

By his desk, Kaito pulled out the first drawer and took out a blue notebook. He caressed the cover with a form of gentleness that Shinichi never seen him had before—not even when handling those million-dollars’ worth gems he’d shone under the moonlight after his heists. 

Then, Kaito passed the book to Shinichi.

Shinichi tentatively accepted it. “What is this?”

“See for yourself.”

Suspicious, Shinichi flipped to a random page.

Dear Diary, Today, Kaito and I went to Tropical Land. I know I should at least be a little bit happier—

Widened eyes, Shinichi shut the book and snapped his head back at Kaito. “This is Aoko’s diary?”

Kaito nodded. “Her dad, Inspector Nakamori, gave it to me.”

“Inspector Nakamori?” Shinichi froze once he realized the connection. “Isn’t he the head of the Kaitou Kid Task Force?”

“He was,” Kaito clarified. 

Shinichi had to take a moment before the words sunk in. "They were related..."

Kaito gave a half-smile. “Life’s just so funny sometimes.”

“Then…”

“He’s now retired from the Force and helping his brother with the ski resort business in Niigata,” Kaito said. “After Aoko’s death, I told him everything; it’s the least I could do.”

“What did he say?”

Kaito chuckled, though it sounded hoarse at the end. “He told me I should get on with my life.”

But it didn’t work out, Shinichi’s silent words hung in the air.

“Then, before he moved, he found the diary and gave it to me, hoping I could find closure or something," Kaito added.

That didn’t work out either, Shinichi thought bitterly again.

Shinichi fumbled with the book. It was light, yet weighted heavy with the history of Kaito and Aoko’s life journey together, at least till the point when the fire took her away…

“I don’t think I have the rights to read it,” Shinichi eventually said.

“You were mentioned in there though.” 

Shinichi blinked. “What?”

“Edogawa Conan, the Kid-Killer.” Kaito smiled, and there was finally a tint of genuine brightness in his eyes. “You were her idol.”

Shinichi scratched a finger on his temple. “Um…”

“Actually, I think you two could’ve been pretty good friends; Both of you are quite similar—Always all about justice, fun to tease, and Tamago...” Kaito’s voice broke off a little. “Tamago loves... loved her too.” 

Shinichi swallowed, staring at the diary in his hand. “I wish I could meet her," he said, with all the truth he could ever put in a sentence. He looked up at Kaito. “Is there... anything else I can do?”

“No. You’d done more than half of my job when you took down the Black Organization.” A tug pulled at Kaito's lips as he rubbed a thumb over the other bandaged hand. “Besides, you’ve been... a very good distraction...for me.”

Shinichi wondered if he could agree the same.

A low rumble came from the outside, and through the view of the balcony glass door, Shinichi could see the trees swaying in the distant. 

“You should go before the rain pours,” Kaito said.

“Are you sure you want me to read this?” Shinichi asked again, lifting the diary.

“The truth is, I’m rather tired right now.” Kaito popped the second button of his blue shirt and slumped onto the bed. “It'll probably answer the remaining questions you have.”

In all honesty, Shinichi was never intent on needing an answer, but if Kaito wanted him to have it, he really had no reason to go against his wishes. He held the book to his chest.

“Do you want me to stay—”

“If it’s for any other circumstances, I would say yes.” Kaito grinned, though barely passing the mark. “But for now I want to be alone.”

“Ok.” Shinichi nodded. “I’ll go.”

“Thanks.”

Shinichi turned towards the door.

“He told me I should forgive you, that’s how I can lessen my pain.”

He wrapped a hand around the knob.

”And you. Only if you know I forgive you, then it will lessen yours.”

(Then what if the only person who could forgive you, was no longer around?)

“Tabula Rasa.”

Opening the door, Shinichi took one last glance back, watching as Kaito wearily climbed under his covers. 

“You know... there’s a difference between hiding and starting anew.”

Shinichi still hadn’t figured out which one fitted Kaito more, but at least for now, he knew Kaito wanted to be alone.

Closing the door behind him, Shinichi left for his own home.

[alma-berry]

Kit’s secret fire message #8

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

-

vjewfa  sxvjish  qk  hqw  awfvy  cjgrj

(luminous)

-

Kit was arrested mid motion, his black duffle bag hung limply on his left shoulder, half open. He didn’t even notice the three pairs of socks that fell from it, nor his favorite grey shirt which was threatening to follow.

The fire message felt odd between his trembling fingers, like a foreign object, like he never in his life held a piece of paper.

Kit looked at the neatly written letters as if they were holding the answers to every single question he ever asked.. That might as well be true, he thought, if he was right in believing the message was sent by.. Ty.

Ty, just his name sent shivers down his spine, and the memory of the silver of his eyes, crackling with the reflection of the campfire near lake lynn, made Kit’s knees buckle. He dropped his bag on the floor and sent for the wall near him, steadying his legs and his heartbeat.

It’s been over a month since Ty answered Kit’s goodbye with a single “Don’t”, and Kit didn’t know how to respond to it.

The third drawer of his desk was littered with dozens of crumpled letters, heaps of poems that never felt like the right thing to say. On his defense, he never wanted to say the right thing - he just wanted to say what he felt.

Kit went from one emotion to the next in the blink of an eye; the utmost joy of knowing Ty didn’t want him to stay away filled him for a solid week until he realized how unfair it was. He exposed every single beat of his heart, presented it to Ty in the hope he will answer his feelings, or just answer at all.. and all he had to say was “Don’t”?

Then again, Ty never used five words, let alone a full sentence, when he could use one. Kit knew that, and it wasn’t fair of him to expect Ty, who he knew didn’t feel the same about him, to give away his feelings (or the lack of them) after Kit had left him the way he did.

But still, he needed more. When he finally had enough of trying to phrase himself correctly and sent his last poem, tear stricken and drenched in sweat, he fell to his bed and knew that whatever Ty answered, if he even did, Kit had given every last drop of emotion he had in him.

That night was the coldest he could ever remember, as cold as the blinking eye of a demon.

Kit stared at the six words, if they could even be described as words, and wondered what they meant. Was it a joke? No, he thought. Ty wouldn’t do that. Perhaps it was a test. A code. Yes, Kit’s heart leaped. It must be a code. And Ty had given him the clue to decipher it. luminous.

Kit remembered that day in the Los Angeles institute’s library, when they were planning a trip to the shadow market to try and collect ingredients for the spell that was supposed to bring Livvy back. A familiar ache settled itself in Kit’s chest, the same ache that bore Livvy’s name, her mischievous smile, her deep ocean blue-green eyes.

“Ah, Watson,” said Ty. “You may not yourself be luminous, but you are an extraordinary conductor of light.”

Kit’s lips rose just a little as he remembered the words of his own Sherlock.

Not my Sherlock, he started to scolded himself, before he paused. Sherlock. That’s the key.

Kit grabbed the fire message, ran out of the room and headed towards the library, where the only computer, used mostly by him, was installed.

As he made his way through the narrow corridors he heard Jem’s soft voice calling after him.

“Kit? Are you getting ready? The portal will be opening soon”.

Right. Portal. The usual trip to the London institute.

“Yeah I’m almost ready, just need to look something up first” he called and entered the brightly lit room.

The library of the Carstairs manor in Devon was one of Kit’s favorite rooms. There was a feel to it that spoke of endless possibilities, of knowledge Kit could choose to acquire, and not forced to.

He learned, in his time with Jem and Tessa, that his knowledge of the shadow world wasn’t as basic as he thought.. but nevertheless, he wanted to know more. He wanted with all his might to understand these people, these Shadowhunters that he was now supposed to be one of. He wanted to be.

He was scared, at first, that the fact that he is not living with active shadowhunters would mean his training and education will be less than what they could have been, if he lived in a regular institute, or with a regular shadowhunters family. But he couldn’t have been more wrong. Both of his adoptive parents probably knew more about shadowhunters history than any living, active shadowhunter there is. And Jem, as it turned out, was a great warrior. You didn’t think he’d be one, being 150 years old and all, but he was.. and besides, he had Jace.

Kit grinned, thinking about his cousin always made him want to be better. After he skipped the phase in which he was terrified by every little thing Jace had asked him to do (like jump off a tree with nothing to catch him) and actually started doing it, he found that his very annoying distant relative was.. actually a solid tutor.

Kit became better at being a shadowhunter than he ever thought he could be, and he knew that it was thanks to his family.

He did have to go every once in a while to the London institute, though. There were tests he had to take if he wanted the clave to recognize him as an active shadowhunter. That was the reason they were headed there right now.

Kit clicked franticly on the computer’s power button, willing it to start faster. As soon as it did, he opened the browser and searched for the only name that made sense - Arthur Conan Doyle.

He knew the code to decipher Ty’s message must be something to do with the author of his favorite books, so he wrote down every significant and insignificant detail he could find on a stranded piece of paper that he found at the near desk, just as Jem entered the room.

Kit hastily pocketed the two pieces of paper and turned to face him.

“I know, I know. Let me just get my bag..”

Jem looked at him suspiciously but with clear fondness in his eyes. “Just hurry up, Kit.. the portal will open any minute now.. and you know how Evelyn gets when you’re late”, he smirked.

Kit loved it when Jem smirked, it was so out of character for him.

“Yeah yeah, she’ll make me eat some of Bridget’s porridge”, he mumbled, the taste of the sticky goo still fresh in his memory.

“I wonder when did she got so bad at cooking. She was pretty good when I was young” Jem mused out loud.

The truth was, Bridget always gave Kit the creeps. And the fact that she was probably the most ancient thing in that institute didn’t help to improve her image, nor her cooking, as it happened.

“Where’s Tessa and Min? I want to say goodbye before we leave..” Kit stared around him, a bit disappointed that his favorite little monster didn’t come to see him out.

“Tessa just gotten her to sleep, she was running around all morning, trying to skin Church alive”.

Kit burst out laughing “That’s my girl. Plus, he could use the exercise. He wasn’t this lumpy back in LA…”

Kit felt the air catching at his throat as the flood of unwanted memories washed over him.

The beach, Ty’s beautiful fingers against the cat’s grey fur, and Kit’s clenched heart.

Jem eyed him knowingly and patted on his back. “You’re right, son. We shall buy some low fat tuna for him before we return”.

The shimmering lines of the portal had formed in front of them, and without look back, they walked through it.

—

“It is highly rude of you, you know” Jessamine declared.

“hmm? What is?” Kit answered absentmindedly.

“You hardly come to visit me anymore, and now that you have, you pay me no attention! As if I’m not even there!”

Kit have her his most dazzling smile “Well, you are a ghost, you know…”

Jessamine exclaimed as if terribly insulted. “Exactly! I’m.. bored! There’s no one here to talk to!” Kit’s grin widened, “Jessy, even if every occupant of this institute could see you, they still wouldn’t be much of a conversationalists” Jessy eyed him with disdain “As I said - rude. What is it that you’re doing, anyway?”

Kit was sprawled on the floor of the London institute’s library, scribbling simultaneously on five pieces of paper.

“I’m trying to decipher a code” he said with a troubled look.

“A code? Shadowhunters write in codes now?” She sighed “I’m far too old for these sort of things”.

Kit’s laugh felt forced even to his own ears “Not all shadowhunters.. just this one. And I’m not sure I’m making much of a progress with it anyway. I’ve read my fair share of detective novels, mind you.. and I can’t figure out how I’m supposed to crack this..”

Jessamine leaned over him, no- through him, to examine the fire message, and Kit felt as if his insides were suddenly soaked with icy water.

“Hey! Who's the rude one now?” Jessamine gave him a pointed look that made her delicate features resemble Evelyn’s.

“It looks rather complicated. In my days we would just lock our secrets in a safe and be done with it. Why do you modern people have to complicate everything?”

She really did look like Evelyn now, Kit thought, as the meaning of Jessamine’s words dawned on him. Lock their secrets.. Lock.

Kit knew locks, he knew them very well, in fact. He could pick most locks in under thirty seconds, even the complicated ones, those with a code combination. And all of a sudden, Kit knew exactly what he should do.

“It’s like a combination lock! I just need to move the letters backwards alphabetically according to the numbers on the key!”

Kit’s heart was racing, he had it! He was sure of it.

“The key? It’s a piece of paper, Christopher, not a safe, if you hadn’t noticed”

Kit’s hands were trembling and he felt as if his heart was stuck in the middle of his throat.

“A key to crack the code, Jessy. Look, he sent me a clue. Luminous. It’s from Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes was written by Arthur Conan Doyle. Now, it has to be a number. I have his date of birth, death, when Sherlock was first published.. It can even be the birth date of Sherlock himself but that one is inconclusive. He wouldn’t have used something that is not a solid fact. Right?”

He looked up at Jessamine, who stared at him as if every word he just said was in mandarin. Kit knew a little mandarin, but not enough to make a whole speech. “Nevermind, I’ll try the date of birth”.

Jessamine gave him a long, peculiar look and said “Hurry up, Kit. Jem, Evelyn and miss Mendoza are nearly done with their meeting. If you wish to know what young mr. Blackthorn had written, you must hurry”.

Kit stared at her, completely astonished.

“How.. how do you know I was talking about Ty?” Jessamine gave him a wry smile and started towards the door, “I may not know much about locks or codes, Christopher, but I know about broken hearts,” her voice was soft, and Kit felt it like a faint whisper against his skin, “...and I know you”.

For a few moments, Kit just sat there. His head felt like a beehive of thoughts, bombarding one another with fears anger, confusion and excitement, until one thought became coherent - I can solve Ty’s message.

He slowly places the heavy parchment in front of him, the torn paper with Conan Doyle’s information already in his hand. He began with copying Ty’s message, and under each letter he wrote the numbers of Conan Doyle’s date of birth, again and again, until every letter had its own number. Then he started counting the letters backwards, according to the number underneath it.

V became T, J became H, and so he continued until the first word was completed- Theres.

Kit’s heart was pounding so hard that all sounds around him were momentarily muted. He didn’t hear the scratching noise his pen made on the paper or the soft tapping of the rain on the milky white windows.

He continued to the next word; S became an N, X - O, V - T, J - H, I - I, S - N, H - G.

Nothing. There’s nothing.

Kit’s heart sank. He feared what he would find next. There’s nothing I can say to you? There’s nothing I want from you? There’s nothing between us? But none of those options fit the number of the letters left to decipher, and he felt too anxious to guess any longer.

He took a deep breath and continued. He didn’t pause as the letters formed themselves into a full sentence, didn’t dare to read until the whole sentence was written in front of him, black on white. And if there was any doubt left in Kit’s heart that it was Ty’s message, it had vanished completely.

There’s nothing if you aren’t there

[attemptingthoughtfulness]

...this is worthless, I’m rambling and procrastinating. Sorry ‘bout that.

(minor spoilers for Naruto and Detective Conan as well as major spoilers for Magic Kaito and... Avengers Endgame?)

I’m procrastinating, don’t mind me. And during that time of procrastination I have been watching a show I used to watch when I was like 12 or 13, so it’s been a while. And even though that show has some obvious flaws - flaws I will be writing about in a bit - it find myself liking it. So why?

Magic Kaito is a spin-off show of the much bigger Detective Conan anime, which was actually my first anime ever and one of the few memories I have from age 0-4. I actually went onto the wiki and looked up the episode, which was a lot harder than you can imagine: episode 282 which features (for that show anyway) rather graphic imagery of a bloody corpse and like blood in showers and stuff. I don’t know if I just randomly watched the most traumatizing episodes of animes or - which is far more likely - I just remember them darker thant they were but the Naruto episode right afterwards was the one where Gaara tries to murder Lee at the Chunin exams which is also a rather dark episode. (I know, it doesn’t really matter but that was season 3 episode 58 of the original Naruto series). I bet you could find out the exact day and station that I was watching because there’s virtually no way those two episodes would ever follow each other more than once.

I guess that’s not what it’s really about but Detective Conan was probably one of the core animes I watched when I was younger because it was well known and free online. It was also the one that got me into doing QCs for subtitles (funny story, since I had been a QC for a while and seen the really bad mistakes some translators did, I actually applied for the “job” of a translator, that was mere months before I wrote my Cambridge Certificate exam which I, not to brag, passed with C2, and I had been rejected, which probably fed into my fear of rejection but is also  very funny retrospectively.)

I don’t like Detective Conan that much, it’s a fun episodic detective story that has a very, very thin overarching plot and is probably only ever end when the writers don’t have ideas for crimes anymore. And Magic Kaito suffers from its bigger sibling immensely. In case you don’t know, and I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t, Magic Kaito tells the story of a character that occasionally appears in Detective Conan - a thief who is also a magician (which is quite frankly the best pairing I have ever seen, it’s such a good idea!). Kaito is the son of one of the biggest magicians ever who gets killed in a mysterious accident. One day he finds out that his dad was the thief in the moonlight Kaito Kid and murdered by a mysterious organization - who he now tries to lure out of hiding to protect his father’s legacy and put them in jail.. or something? I mean, there is some revenge fantasy implied, but he’s also like 17 and it’s a children’s anime, so he probably doesn’t want to kill them. Anyway, the way he does it is dressing himself up as Kaito Kid to attract those criminals. And that’s the entire premise of a 24 episodes anime.

Before we get into anything, here some in-universe lore that has been stuck in my mind since 13. My favourite thing about Kid is that his name was also “master thief 1412″, the number being the police file number, but if you write the numbers in a certain way it looks like the word “Kid”, a name given him by Shinichi Kudo’s father (meaning Conan’s father). And both Conan’s and Kaito’s fathers knew each other and were aquantances that respected each other? Like, Conan’s mom went to Kaito’s dad for acting training and stuff which is how his dad figured out that he was Kaito Kid. And when her training ended Conan’s dad gave her a card to give Kaito’s dad with an exclaimationpoint - which was an answer to a card he had previously given him with a question mark. Excuse me if my speech is unclear, I am just nostalgic.

Okay, let’s get started: the series suffers from weak characters and the introduction of too many ideas. That’s it. To get the first thing out of the way: if you make an anime about a spin off character and the main character of the main show keeps showing up that means you don’t trust your spin off to stand on its own feet. I love appearances of in universe characters of other shows, I love the MCU, but imagine if Iron Man kept popping up in Jessica Jones. I mean, he can’t because he’s dead but still. Or Aang keept being part of The Legend of Korra. From 24 episodes, Conan/Shinichi is a major character in 4 of them and is also kinda important in another one. That does not really speak of confidence about your series’ characters which is fair considering it got rebooted. Also, every episode starts with Kaito Kid “opening commentary” the episode before the curtain opens and the actual thing starts - and it also ends with Kid shortly commenting on it and bowing in the end which more often than not features the phrase “I will keep entertaining you if you wish so.”, which is a kinda funny meta commentary of the creator’s being painfully aware of their situation.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, there are really good scenes and funny moments; the one that made me laugh was when Kid hasn’t stolen anything for like three months and since Kaito still goes to high school his friend is kinda disappointed and he thinks: “Who do you think I am? A weekly manga magazine?”, which is already funny but literally a few miliseconds afterwards his friend goes: “Oh, I know why he hasn’t stolen anything for so long! He’s dead!” and he falls off his chair. These jokes wouldn’t be fun on their own but their close proximity to each other makes them work so well. I’m like 70% sure this happened to Gosho Aoyama at some point Over all there is a lot of very good imagery, the magic tricks and heists are fun and often times we have parallel’s, call backs and very well fitting juxtapositions, but over all there’s just a bunch of not-great going on, which I will list now:

1. The Jukebox and the Poker Face: The entire show is also framed by this jukebox Kaito’s dad has left him which has 24 disk and an appendix playing some advice that is tangentially related to the episode. And what more often than not gets repeated is that “he should not forget his poker face”, which, yeah, seems like generally good advice for a magician but... why? It doesn’t serve narrative purpose at all. There is no theme or deeper meaning in the show? The idea of a poker face doesn’t even gets touched on outside of the first episode? Like, otherwise he never breaks his pokerface and there’s like no tension between his real self and the poker face which might as well be a metaphor for Kaito vs. his thief persona. I dunno, am I reading too much into this - why poker face?! Further more, because the jukebox only has 25 audio tracks in total and they play every time Kaito is up to a heist, it kinda feels like he doesn’t do anything in between the episodes? Like, if he listens to that juke box chronologically, which seemed implied, he has only gone to like 25 heists in total which.. is fine for real life statistics but doesn’t really make sense since there is no sense of time in that universe and it just feels like he’s done a lot more?

2. Magic: Yupp, in a universe with a magician reliant on smart tricks and improvisation like a magician on stage there are witches with actual magic. There is actual magic introduced to a world that has previously never had magic before and, believe it or not, magic has no purpose at all. Actually, it does kinda come up in three episodes and they do some really fun stuff the first time with the idea that an illusionist wants to trick and entertain an audience, change their hearts which has different if not more value than actual magic changing the people themselves. Really cool stuff. Would be a shame if the writers wouldn’t know how to go from there and it never comes up again.

3. Super weak as fuck characters outside of Kaito: There are, in total six characters that are not Conan which switch up being the focus of an episode. The witch that practises afor mentioned actual magic is this archetype of a seductress who uses love spells to make boys like her and because her magic doesn’t work on Kaito Kid, she’s like super into him. First, she wants to kill him because she detests his trickery but then she just kinda wants to bang him? And that’s her entire character. Then there is a detective. I didn’t even bother learning his name because he’s the “main challenge” for the first episode he appears and then just kinda stands next to the police officer occasionally to drop observations for exposition or tell Kid something he doesn’t know. I mean, you cannot introduce another high school detective into a universe that whose main character is literally a high school detective. It was as if Jessica Jones kept having Iron Man and another random play boy billionaire with a weird robot suit. There just hast to be a better character than that? Make it a very smart police officer, just anything else. It feels like most of the characters are mostly window dressing and there is just no emotional arc to them whatsoever - they’re treated like most side characters that get shown something by Kaito Kid, have a change of heart and never appear again - with the exception that they are on screen. Constantly. Doing nothing at all.

4.The last two episodes: They’re probably the worst. So, there is this “new magician-thief in town and his name is Kaito Corbeau” and he’s kind of the antithesis of Kaito Kid, dressing in the same suit but in black and probably like a joke on the fact that Kaito Kid is a magician who uses doves which are white and crows are black? I mean, it’s fun but the mirror doesn’t really work that much because the words “Kid” and “Corbeau” don’t mirror each other and Kaito Kid rarely uses doves. But I get the point, A for effort, I guess. Anyway, so. Corbeau who looks suspiciously much like Kaito’s dad and apparently knows something about his death, then challenges Kaito to a duel of thieves also being a magician asks him to solve the mistery of how he will steal some precious gem. By the end of the first episode of the two-parter, Corbeau has stolen the gem and Kaito walks home wondering how he did it. As he comes home the lights of his house are turned on, which is weird since he lives alone because his dad is dead and his mother is always travelling the world. But that unexpected visitor turns out to be his mother and my first reaction was... really? No, they would not be doing such a stupid thing, right? Nah, that’s probably a red herring. No way she’s Corbeau. (Spoiler: she’s Corbeau.) And she asks him “if he really wants to do this? If he doesn’t want to become a magician in Vegas or anything?”, which is a reasonable question from a mother: do you really want to be a thief and hunt some criminals who might as well kill you like your da? But it’s also kind of a stupid one because it is absolutely reasonable that he definitely wants to do that and that there is no grain of doubt in his mind that he does. And that is ultimately the problem of the last two episodes: they’re about testing Kid’s commitment which fails on a bunch of levels. The first one being: there is never a struggle on the side of Kid at all. He never doubts himself, Corbeau isn’t even that big of a challenge, considering he has been regularly challenged by genius high school detectives who seem to be the smartest demographic ever, an actual witch, a serial killer+thief, another differen thief and this shady organization that killed his dad. There is no escalation, no actual struggle against all odds making him question his motivations which - he doesn’t even think for longer than a second about his mother’s questions which is why, when Corbeau tells him around the end that it was all to test his commitment, it could have been substituted for literally anything else.

However, that’s not my real problem with that: Kaito Kid is a necessity, not an identity. There is no need for a commitment towards the figure of Kaito Kid because the moment that criminal organization is caught, there is no need for the mantle of Kaito Kid anymore. This whole idea of commitment of character falls apart because Kid is not a superhero. He’s not taking up a huge and never ending task that is going to take forever - Kaito could very well become a big magician in Vegas afterwards, these things are not mutually exclusive which is why that question kinda backfires and makes his mom look bad because she doubts him for no reason whatsoever? Also, Kaito is literally still in high school and 17, they somehow came up with something less rational than having him dress up as a magician at night and hunting criminals by having him drop out of high school and become a magician in Las fucking Vegas with 17. And I get that it’s the last episode and you wanna end it on a heroic note but that didn’t work at all.

(next morning thoughts: I think I kinda understand the underlying problem of those two episodes now, let me, like the show itself compare it to his bigger brother - Detective Conan. There is no similar episode to test the main character’s strength of mind, but his parents often times wonder and ask him if he really wants to do this considering he nearly died the first time, and that is genuine care and if it wasn’t a better idea to let the police handle it; Conan always answers that he needs to keep doing it. However, these kinds of episodes would actually work with Conan as the main character because for one, his parent’s reasoning is way more sensical and two: he’s inherently human. Yeah, he is super smart and knows a bunch of weird shit that helps him solving crimes, but detectives are humans and they never pretend to be otherwise. I’m not saying magicians aren’t humans, the idea of supernatural things that is beautiful and quite literally casts a spell over us, to be willingly tricked into a world where the impossible is possible is a very human thing. Magicians just aren’t, they’re entertainers and try to exceed our reality, to be exceptional and - to be not human. That’s why the show always has him being cocky and witty, rarely struggling more than a bit with a heist, because he needs to. At this point his poker face has quite literally become his entire character.)

I know, I have been rambling, what I wanted to say is: despite all of this I don’t dislike the show. And in a way it suffers from the same Detective Conan problem of having selfcontained stories but an obligation to connect them to each other, weakening the entire thing. And I don’t know why I like it so much, because I like it more than anything reasonable would justify me to. And this is kinda what I need to find out. I’m very tired now and I have three days to work on my paper and I should go to sleep. If you expected a satisfying conclusion to this whole affair: welcome to Magic Kaito and I’m sorry.

[jaroslavlewis]

The Same Old You: What If

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Title: The Same Old You

Chapter 4: What if

Author: Jaroslav Lewis

Fandom: Detective Conan

Pairing: ShinRan with slight KazuHei

Summary: Time has passed for them to believe that they have changed only for them to realize that some things haven't. Some things just don't.

Chapter Summary: The millions of questions in their head trigger a solid conclusion.

Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan and any of Gosho Aoyama's characters. I simply borrow them when I'm bored.

Also you guys may want to check these out for reference and more visuals:

Heiji and Kazuha’s Wedding Theme: https://chicvintagebrides.com/mint-peach-wedding-inspiration/

Ran’s Gown: https://www.lunss.com/gallery/peach-pink-thigh-high-slit-v-neck-a-line-long-prom-gown-1234.html

Guests dressed to kill fill the glamorous wedding venue of the wide and intricately decorated function room of a five-star hotel in Nankai. Heiji and Kazuha's friends and relatives are all seated in an orderly fashion while the soft, wedding music fills the room. From the back of the aisle, behind a divider, the members of the entourage stand. Men and women wearing themed outfits of peach and mint green are all getting lined up by the wedding planner accordingly and by partners in time for the entrance.

Heiji is in his sleek black tux, with a mint green tie wrapped around his neck and a peach rose clipped on his lapel. He keeps pacing back and forth while his parents are in line and are standing behind him.

Shinichi, noticing Heiji's fidgetiness, gets out of the line to give his friend a pat on the back and wish him good luck on the ceremony.

"Nervous?" Shinichi asks. Heiji turns to him with a worried smile.

"Yeah. Kind of. What if she runs out on me? We bickered even while planning the wedding." Heiji says, laughing half-heartedly as he scratches the back of his head. Shinichi shakes his head.

"She won't because if she would, she would've done it years ago." Shinichi chuckles teasingly. Heiji darts a glare at him.

"Are you trying to make me feel better or are you just insulting me?" Heiji asks with an annoyed tone

"Ah. You know what I mean." Shinichi replies raising his arms in surrender. Just then, the wedding planner claps her hands to get everyone's attention.

"Ok, everyone in your places! We are about to begin!" She announces, looking at all the entourage members to check if they are all set. She notices that Shinichi is not in his place. She comes to steal him away from the groom.

"Kudo-san, please go back to your place. And where is your partner?" She says, dragging him all the way to the back of the line.

"Ah. But, Miura-san, I don't have a partner." Shinichi reasons out. Miura-san is about to fret when all of a sudden, a familiar face enters the wedding hall premises. She is wearing a spaghetti-strapped, peach long gown with a low v-neckline and a long slit on the right side that stops far up her thigh. Her hair is in a loose French-braided updo with bangs framing her face. She smiles as she meets Miura-san.

"The bride is all-set, Miura-san." She informs as she approaches her.

"Hai, Mouri-san." Miura responds, before turning to Shinichi. "Kudo-san, she is your partner, okay? Now get to your places because we are about to begin."

Miura practically shoves the maid of honor to the best man. Shinichi is stunned as he turns to Ran, taking in the sight of her lovely presence before him. It his first time seeing her since the party. There is still an awkwardness lingering between them that he badly wants to get rid of.

So, he gives her a sincere smile as he looks at her and offers her his arm, to hold on to as they walk. She stares at him, hesitating at first.

"Hey. I don't bite." He says and she smiles, wrapping her arms around his arm. Suddenly, Shinichi remembers the events from their school trip together in Kyoto, when they visited the Monoyama Palace. He recalls the feeling of her arms clinging onto him when she was scared of the bloody ceiling. He finds himself thinking the same thing as he did, years ago…

'Perhaps, this is too much…'

The line starts to move as Heiji and his parents start walking. The principal sponsors follow and then the bridesmaids with the groomsmen. Shinichi and Ran tail as it slowly moves in sync with the music. He steals a glance at her and she notices so she returns his gaze.

"You look… nice…" He says. He wants to say beautiful but for some reason he is too afraid to say so. Nevertheless, she smiles at his compliment.

"You don't look so bad yourself…" She comments, keeping her cool when deep down her heart is screaming in her chest. Marveling at how handsome he looks and how perfectly his outfit fits him.

They continue to walk together until they are the next to parade down the aisle. Ran feels her legs wobble with every step. Even when she is used to wearing heels, her knees shake with nervousness and anxiety as she feels the people's eyes glued on her. It is also not helping that Shinichi is the one walking with her. Her hold on him tightens and Shinichi notices her stiffness.

"Relax. You're doing great." He mumbles so only she can hear. "Just a few more steps, and it's over…"

Ran gives him a small nod and they continue walking together down the aisle, smiling at Heiji who is standing just by the end, waiting for his bride. With a few more steps, they reach the end. They both can't help but feel tinge of disappointment and longing as they pull away from each other to walk to their opposite sides. Coldness lingers at the absence of each other's hold.

Then Kazuha enters and everyone turns their heads to her as she walks with both of her parents escorting her. She looks radiant in her princess-bride cut, off-shouldered, sweet heart neckline wedding dress. She has a thin veil clipped to her hair that is tied in a very neat bun.

Heiji watches her as she inches closer and closer to him. There is a big smile on his face as he waits for her. She smiles back at him as her eyes meet his. It doesn't take long until she reaches him. Her parents leave her with Heiji who takes her hand in his and together they step on the platform. Heiji helps her with her dress as they face the officiant.

The guests sit and the officiant begins with the intro, followed by a lecture on the sacredness of marriage and the importance of love and commitment.

After which, he proceeds with the rites. Shinichi and Ran leave their seats and walk towards the platform to stand next to the groom and the bride. The ring bearer who happens to be Kazuha's nephew from her cousin, brings the rings up front, handing them over to Shinichi and Ran who hold on to each while they wait for Kazuha and Heiji to speak their vows.

Kazuha begins with hers as soon as she takes a card handed over to her by Ran. She holds it with shaky hands.

"Heiji, you and I go way back to being stuck, handcuffed together as kids, not knowing that this day would come. It's ironic how back then, all we wanted was to be unstuck from each other and now, we're choosing to spend the rest of our lives together. I know we bicker a lot, mostly about the pettiest things. But at the end of the day, you'll always be that person I want to bicker with, that person I want to share my omamori with, that person I'll choose to love no matter the circumstance." Kazuha says, tears of joy brimming in her eyes as she meets Heiji's gaze.

By Kazuha's side, Ran is discreetly wiping the little tears at the corner of her eyes. She quickly steals a glance at Shinichi who is watching the couple before him but immediately shifts his attention to her once he feels her gaze on him. She looks away instantly, avoiding to meet his cerulean eyes but she feels his stare on her, lingering and not looking away even as Heiji starts saying his vows. Unlike Kazuha, he doesn't have any cue cards with him because he wants his to be spontaneous and it is only there, right on the spot that he is able to figure out the right words to say to her.

"Kazuha, for so many years I've been dragging you into a lot of trouble case by case and even as kids just like you said." Heiji begins, chuckling at the thought of their mischievous adventures throughout the years. As he continues, his expression changes into a soft, fond and loving one as he looks into her light green eyes, watching her focusing her attention to him attentively as he speaks. "But out of all those troublesome moments we've had together, there is one memory at the back of my head that I know, would always hold to be special to me. When we were seventeen, you and I almost fell off a cliff together. The branch I was holding on to was breaking and you, in an attempt to save me, wounded my hand with a sharp arrow. But much to your surprise, I didn't let go and I promised you that I wouldn't. Now, here we are, ten years later alive and well. I on the other hand, have a scar on my hand to remind myself of that memory and of that promise that up to this day, I'm choosing to keep."

Shinichi's ears remain with Heiji despite his eyes staying on Ran all through out. He wonders about the promises he could have kept with her, had the situation been different. It is not long after she finally meets his gaze, unable to withstand the burning feeling of his eyes on her.

Sapphires meet Amethysts as their heads are both filled with what ifs.

The couple exchange their I do's and both of them barely pay attention. It is only when it is time for them to hand over the rings that they are able to snap out of their reverie about each other. Heiji and Kazuha share a chaste kiss in front of the altar. The crowd applauds them and so do Shinichi and Ran with their minds hazy with nostalgic thoughts.

The merriment continues at the reception where the guests feast on the delicious buffet banquet while waiting for the program to begin. It is not long after the host of the party, Ichirou, who happens to be one of Heiji's peers in his Kendo Team, taps the mic to begin with the program. He calls over the best man to give a speech.

Shinichi stands from his seat, wiping his lips with a napkin and then taking his glass of champagne while he walks over to the platform, standing next to the mic stand.

The guests focus their attention to him, some of them murmuring amongst themselves, about how they recognize him. Members of the police force who are familiar and whom he and Heiji have worked with talk about how long they haven't seen him and how it's nice for him to be back.

Shinichi clears his throat and raises his glass. He gives everyone a charming smile that makes most of the single women at the event swoon.

"Hey. I'm guessing you all know me for being the other corpse magnet besides the groom." He begins awkwardly, thinking to himself how badly he hates introductions but he continues on. "But today, I'm just Hattori's best man and I plan to stay that way unless anyone of you plans to commit a murder and ruin tonight's festivities…"

The crowd chuckles at his wittiness and dry sense of humor. Kazuha eyes at Heiji, remembering how back in the day, he, for some odd reason and maybe because of pure bad luck, would always, always end up catching a sudden murder case no matter where he goes and even more so when he and Shinichi are together.

From the round table where Shinichi is seated, Sonoko nudges at Ran grinning at her knowingly as she takes a sip of champagne. Ran on the other hand smiles, reminiscing the old days about how Kazuha and her have complained and made jokes about Shinichi and Heiji being cursed. She remembers to thank the heavens, because for the past few days since the two have reunited, nothing of such circumstance has happened.

"Hattori and I have been through a lot, pretty much life and death situations. He can be a big mess, a pain in the ass for the matter, but I can trust him with my life." Shinichi goes on with his speech, making eye contact with the audience as he stands in a calm and collected, manner, looking so regal in his grey tux, just being all genuine and casual as he holds on to his glass. "Anyway, ten years ago, I would have never imagined myself being good friends with this guy. How we met wasn't exactly an ideal way to meet a friend. Hattori regarded me as his rival. Heck he even flew all the way to Tokyo to see if I really am worth comparing to him. He's so impulsive with cases, with everything! But Kazuha-chan was the exception."

Shinichi snickers, glancing at Heiji knowingly and then at Kazuha who smiles at him and then at Heiji.

"I remember, when we were in high school, you went on and about, book after book, website after website, trying to find the perfect place, the perfect event you could take her to, so that you could stage your confession perfectly. Then it's as if the gods don't will it, something bad always happens and ruins the occasion so you had to start over again, and again, plenty of times actually."

Shinichi laughs shaking his head at the memory. From his seat, Heiji scratches his head in a shy manner while Kazuha gushes at him teasingly.

"Then time came and unexpectedly, you blurted out a confession in a place you weren't planning to do so. I remember you giving me a phone call while I was all night studying, catching up with my lessons. At first, I thought you were gonna bother me with another case you ran into in Osaka but you went on for hours, ranting about how you, out of impulse had just confessed to Kazuha-chan on the most unromantic place in the world, how all your plans practically were just flushed down the drain because of what had happened. You were so frustrated about it. You told me, Kazuha-chan deserved all the great things. She deserved the world and you blew it. Then I told you that sometimes, it doesn't matter where it happens or how it happens because sometimes you just have to let things flow naturally. Sometimes, the memories that last a life time are the ones that come unplanned, unexpected." His eyes instinctively search for Ran among the crowd and finds her looking at him with a sad smile on her face, clearly understanding what he meant as her thoughts briefly drift to a memory of his confession in London how everything happened so spontaneously how his eyes showed pure, overflowing emotions when he grabbed her hand and told her how he truly feels.

Then he breaks eye contact with her to look at Heiji and Kazuha. He grins and raises his glass at his two friends. "And not that I'm bragging or saying I told you so, but I guess, I was right, wasn't I? because look at where you guys are now. Congratulations!"

The crowd raises their glasses and he drink the champagne in a few gulps before going back to his seat, walking so smoothly after the impressive toast he made. The crowd applauds him and Ran suddenly feels butterflies surround her stomach. She can't help but marvel at how nice his speech was and how confident he stood in the crowd. Shinichi was always good with words and with carrying himself in front of an audience. Though she can be just as confident she thinks that there is just no way she could match up to his performance.

But Ran stands up from her seat just as he sits down, just in time for the host to call for the maid of honor to come up the platform for her speech. She calms her nerves and tells herself that she can do it, after all delivering a speech is a lot easier than defending a client in court. It should be a piece of cake for her.

Ran smiles at the crowd in an ever so charming way as she raises her glass. She stands gracefully in her silver, strap on high heels, looking elegant that some of the groomsmen couldn't help but be mesmerized by her presence.

"Good evening everyone. I'm Mouri Ran I've been friends with the bride and the groom for a long time now." She chirps in the most adorable manner. She then takes a deep breath and begins with her speech. "When Kazuha-chan and I first met, we got off on the wrong foot because she thought I was trying to make a pass at Hattori-kun…"

There is a collective gasp among the guests. Kazuha an Heiji laugh hard at the old silly memory. Shinichi shakes his head, smirking and remembering how well Ran handled the situation.

"You were so mean to me!" Ran says to Kazuha who continues to laugh.

"That's how I show affection!" Kazuha replies, winking at Ran who shakes her head and then turns to the crowd again to continue with her speech.

"Anyway, it's pretty ironic how right now, I'm standing here today as her maid of honor. We've come a long way and I guess I'm just happy for her and deeply honored to have witnessed their journey together, all those nights I've spent listening to her talk about Hattori-kun for hours whether it's about something sweet he did for her or about something he did that pissed her off, all those trips I spent with them, most of the time, third wheeling, enduring long hours listening to them bicker about the pettiest things…"

The crowd nods in agreement, chuckling knowingly at how likely Ran's statement was.

"With all things said, I have to say that I could never imagine anyone else being more perfect for them." She says, reaching the conclusion part. "They say not everyone gets to marry their great love…"

For a moment her eyes instinctively find Shinichi's in the audience and she immediately breaks their gaze turning to Heiji and Kazuha with a sincere smile on her face. "So I'm relieved and really glad that you guys are marrying yours. Congratulations and I love you both…"

Ran takes a sip of her champagne before approaching Heiji and Kazuha for a hug. She returns to her designated table, sitting right next to Shinichi who is still taken aback by what she said during her speech.

He remains silent. His palms sweating as he thinks hard as if contemplating if it is right to give meaning to what she had just said.

'Not everyone gets to marry their great love…'

Her words ring in his ears as he turns to her with a slight frown on his face as if he wants to say some sort of counter attack to her statement but he doesn't. She then turns to face him as soon as she feels his gaze on her. They don't say anything.

Beside Ran, Sonoko and Sera are starting to notice the tension between them. Sera nudges at Sonoko as if telling her to create some sort of diversion.

Soon enough Ichirou grabs everyone's attention for the next part of the program. He calls on single ladies and single men up front for it is already time for the most awaited bouquet and garter toss.

Sonoko squeals excitedly, standing up to drag and shove Ran and Sera to force them to join. The two whine but are left with no choice as they are surrounded and trapped by a crowd of single ladies who are up to participate in the bouquet toss ever so enthusiastically.

Sonoko comes back to her seat with a triumphant smirk before taking notice of Shinichi who is left sitting with an uninterested look on his face.

"You're not gonna go?" Sonoko asks, rolling her eyes in an annoyed manner.

Shinichi shrugs as he plays with his champagne glass. Just then, one of the groomsmen who happens to be Heiji's highschool friend, tugs on one of the guests whom Shinichi assumes is close friends with Heiji as well.

"Dude, this is just a waste of time. Most of the ladies there are just our classmates when we were in Kaiho." The guest says in a bored manner.

"The pretty maid of honor is joining. Might be our chance to score…" The groomsman says, mischievously.

Shinichi's ears perk up at the subtle mention of Ran. His eyebrows furrow and all of a sudden, he jolts from his seat, standing up rather aggressively, ready to make a beeline up front. Sonoko takes notice of his sudden reaction.

"Changed your mind?" She points out, teasingly.

"On second thought, I'm single so might as well." Shinichi reasons out. There is a hint of defensiveness in his tone before he rushes to the front, joining the group of single men who are playing for the garter toss. Behind him are the two guys, still talking.

"What are the odds that she's gonna get it anyway?" One of them asks hopelessly.

Shinichi smirks knowingly, formulating a solid deduction in his head. He knows that Ran will be very competitive with the bouquet toss, recalling the time when she went to a wedding with her father (and Conan) and she whined about not being able to get the bouquet. Shinichi is well-aware about how much of a sucker Ran is for cheesy things such as those.

Furthermore, he analyzes Ran's place and where she is standing. She is pretty near the front and other than that, her arms are pretty long to reach for the bouquet. If Kazuha is to just throw it at the right direction, she would definitely be able to catch it. Not to mention that she also has good body coordination, balance and attentiveness. So, her chances of getting the bouquet are pretty damn high.

Ichirou gathers up the girls to begin with the bouquet toss. Kazuha stands right in front of them, holding the bridal bouquet of peach roses, accentuated with baby's breath. The girls in their dresses watch Kazuha anticipatingly.

Ichirouo counts slowly from one to three and soon Kazuha swings her arms up to the back, letting go of the bouquet until it shoots up in the air, flying high enough until in descends down to the crowd of ladies reaching for it.

Then it lands on the grip of a lucky, not to mention, very well-coordinated young lady who stands out from the crowd, looking like a goddess in her elegant evening wear. Her eyes widen in shock and her lips curve into a smile at her victory.

She squeals in delight while the rest of the girls let out a disappointed sigh as they turn to leave and go back to their seats. From beside her, Sera gives her a congratulatory pat on the back before leaving to sit next to Sonoko on their table.

As the sea of single ladies dissipate, Ichirou approaches the triumphant young lady. Kazuha on the other hand, giggles excitedly, happy that it is her who caught it. She claps her hands and cheers her on as if saying, "It's about time!"

"Looks like the maid of honor might be next in line with the bride." The host comments into the microphone. "So, Mouri-san, do you see anyone from our group of gentlemen whom you are rooting for tonight?"

Ran blushes as she scans the crowd of men she barely knows until she finds him among them, the only one she knows, the only one she'll probably be comfortable with but also not so. Her heart is torn. She loves his familiarity but she knows it's also dangerous for her. For both of them…

Ichirou waits for an answer from her and holds the microphone up to her chin so she can reply for everyone to hear.

"I don't know. May the best man win, I guess…" She says in attempt to be unbiased, not knowing the little unintended pun in her statement that could be well twisted by everyone and by most of her peers who know about their past.

From the crowd of garter toss participants, he stands with cheeks red as a tomato from what he just heard. He tries to avoid giving it too much meaning. He is well-aware that it isn't what she meant, but his imagination messes with his head and pumps adrenaline up to his stream.

Then he imagines a white lacy garter going up to her thigh and what else could make such moment better if he were the one to put it on her?

'That's it.' He tells himself, his game face is on. 'I should win. I'm gonna win.'

It takes seconds for Ran to realize the gravity of her statement and as expected, Sonoko, Sera as well as Heiji and Kazuha are already misinterpreting what she had just said. Ran opens her mouth, in an attempt to take back her words but it is already too late. The host is able to catch on very quickly.

"The best man, you mean, Kudo-san?" He teases. Ran's face turns a deeper shade of red.

"That's not what I meant!" She denies defensively but Ichirou ignores her and carries on.

"Ah you heard that, Kudo-san! You got an advantage here! But of course, don't underestimate these men of the west that you are competing against." Ichirou reminds, jokingly.

The guests react and join with the teasing while Ichirou gathers up the men to get ready for their part of the game. He also helps Heiji and Kazuha set up at the center, grabbing a chair for Kazuha to sit on while Heiji does his business with the garter.

An upbeat, sensual, RNB music plays. The crowd cheers for the newly-wedded couple. Heiji kneels in front of Kazuha who sits staring down at him, her face flushing crimson red as he lightly hoists the skirt of her wedding dress up to her thighs, his fingers brushing through her soft fair skin as he reveals a white lacy, bridal garter wrapped around her right thigh. She lifts her leg just slightly to give him better access as he leans down, pressing his lips against the skin of her thigh, taking the thin fabric between his teeth.

The crowd squeals and so does Kazuha who covers her blushing face with her two hands as Heiji tugs on the fabric, bringing it down until he is able to take it off of her. He fixes her skirt, to cover her legs again he stands to give her a soft kiss on the lips and then pulls away. Raising the bridal garter in the air. Kazuha then stands, giving her seat to Ran. She pats Ran's shoulder encouragingly. Ran responds with a shy smile.

The crowd hollers as Heiji prepares to toss the garter to the group of hopeful men. He lightly stretches it and then releases it, catapulting high in the air.

Shinichi's eyes follow intensely as it descends, preparing his body to move, to push anyone if he has to. Men behind him push and reach of it. Then in falls on the ground and Shinichi strides, sliding even on the floor to swiftly retrieve it before any of his opponents do.

He stands up, dusting his tux and raises it triumphantly in the air with a big grin on his face. Heiji is shocked but clearly pleased as he gives Shinichi two thumbs up before giving the floor to him. From her seat, Ran finds herself sighing in relief unable to register what was bound to happen next.

All around Shinichi, the men disperse, sighing defeatedly as they all head to their respective seats. He is left standing right in front of Ran who is sitting still, holding Kazuha's bouquet.

Just then Ichirou approaches them, stealing the show. He claps his hands, clearly impressed by the turn of events.

"Well, this seems very interesting." Ichirou said smirking teasingly at the two. Ran keeps her head down as her hold on the bouquet tightens. Shinichi casually places his hands in his pockets, grinning sheepishly.

"Looks like Mouri-san's wish was well granted. Also, Kudo-san seems to have really fought for his place there." Ichirou added, eliciting a reaction from the audience. Most of the guests who know about the two's controversial past murmur amongst themselves. These people being members of the police force who are very familiar with Ran's father, the notorious sleeping detective, Mouri Kogoro and have worked with both Shinichi and Heiji.

"Ah well…" Shinichi says, scratching his head awkwardly.

Ichirou being the attentive host, senses something going on with the two's body language and with the reaction of the people especially with Heiji and Kazuha's who are just nearby, snickering.

"I sense a little something-something between you two…" Ichirou further teases, prompting another reaction from the audience. Shinichi and Ran both raise their hands and mumble an incoherent denial of the fact when among the guests a tipsy Sonoko stands, wobbling as she tries to maintain her posture.

"They're exes!" She hollers, her voice echoing in the whole venue. Ran wants to scream and scold her but she remains silent, turning pale, in her seat with her mouth running dry. Suddenly she wishes she could just disappear in thin air.

'That Sonoko…' Shinichi thinks to himself, leaving a mental note to come for her later when the party's over.

Ichirou gives the two an intrigued stare, nodding as if to say, "I see…" He clears his throat to proceed with the rest of the program.

"Well I hope this doesn't make the two of you uncomfortable." He says with a concerned look on his face. Shinichi shrugs.

"I can take one for the team." He assures, turning to Ran as if to ask for permission from her. Ran on the other hand, raises an eyebrow at him, thinking that he is challenging her. She cracks her neck to the side and then stretches her arms, still holding the bouquet with her right hand.

"Bring it on, tantei-san." She says provokingly, earning a startled expression from Shinichi. She turns to Ichirou to assure him, "We're in good terms by the way. So, it's okay…"

"Okay so let's begin and hope that this little game helps old feelings resurface, ne?" Ichirou says, jokingly.

Both Shinichi and Ran flinch at the statement, feeling their hearts throb against their chests. The loud music boosts from the speakers and they both wonder if the loud base is the one causing such.

Shinichi nods. He glances at Ran and then kneels down, gently reaching for her right foot in an embellished, strappy, silver high-heeled shoe. He gently slips the white lacy bridal garter up to her ankle and pauses.

"May I?" He asks in a soft tone, almost inaudible for Ran to hear because of the loudness of the music. Ran nods approvingly and Shinichi gently parts fabric of her peach dress's skirt, right where the slit is, revealing the soft, smooth skin of her long, well-toned right leg.

Shinichi gulps at the sight and bites his lips. Ran turns a deep shade of red as she observes his body language, her grip on the bouquet tightening with every slow second the passes.

He goes down and takes the light fabric of the garter between his teeth, gently tugging at it so that he could pull it up and higher, his lips and teeth making light contact with her soft, smooth skin. Ran watches intensely as he goes higher. She feels his lips brush against her inner thigh. Goosebumps creep to her skin and shivers run down her spine as she feels his lips against her, curving into a smirk.

Shinichi's heart swells with pride, amazed with how well he still knows her body and how smoothly he is able to slide the garter up to her thigh. By the time he is finished, Ran already has the bouquet of flowers up to her chin to hide her blushing face and her lips which she bit out of restraint. She then exhales as he pulls away from her, unaware that she has been holding her breath the whole time his lips were making contact with her sensitive skin.

He lightly adjusts the delicate fabric of her dress, back in its original flow, hiding her exposed skin. He looks up at her and smiles. Once again, their eyes meet and they both feel as if they are the only ones in the room.

Then the crowd cheers, waking them from their reverie. Shinichi stands and so does she. Ichirou cheers into the microphone.

"Let's give it up for the best man and the maid of honor for giving us a good show!"

The two glance and smile at each other, wondering if the events really are just but a mere show for both of them.

The best man and the maid of honor stand from a distance, watching the bride and the groom dance to a sweet melody on a platform. The crowd cheers. He smiles and so does she. Together, along with the rest of the guests, they raise their glasses.

Shinichi takes a sip from his glass of champagne. From his peripheral vision, he notices Ran doing the same. He sets the glass down the table and he continues watching Heiji and Kazuha, arms around each other, looking at each other eye to eye with happiness painted on their faces.

For a moment, his mind drifts somewhere else. He imagines himself in Hattori's place and Ran in Kazuha's. He sees Ran all dolled up in an embellished, lace and tulle, V-neck, A-line wedding dress, the same dress he saw her in a few days back. She smiles as she looks up at him and his sapphire eyes meet her amethysts. The world seems to stop and then…

"Do you think…" He says absentmindedly, still in his dreamland.

'We'll ever be like them?'

His words soon falter into silence as soon as he realizes what he was about to say. He purses his lips and shakes his head. Perhaps it was the alcohol talking. He'll never understand. He peers over to his side, at Ran who is still focused on Heiji and Kazuha while they dance away to dreamland as if they are in their own world. She has a sad smile on her face. He holds his breath as he prays, she did not hear him.

But it is already too late.

"We'll never be like them…" She says, sighing with remorse, answering his implied question. She turns to glance at him, at his tall frame. Even when she is in heels, Shinichi is still taller than her.

Shinichi in turn, avoids her gaze and awkwardly places his hands in his pockets. He nods and sighs with the same amount of remorse as she had just done.

'She's not yours. Not anymore… ' He says in his head as a reminder. His heart breaks.

The music shifts into an upbeat one and the guests cheer once again, they gather around the dance floor to join the bride and the groom. Ran turns away to leave. Shinichi follows her, he almost loses her in the crowd.

And then he finds her sitting by the bar, finishing off her glass of champagne. He steps closer to her just behind her, admiring the view of her exposed back as she is wearing an elegant, backless, peach-colored dress. He admires how beautifully it compliments her skin and her frame.

He hesitates to approach her but then she rotates the stool, turning to face him. She crosses her legs, exposing the fair skin of her right leg since her dress has a long, revealing slit.

He catches a glimpse of the white lacy garter that he put on her earlier during the traditional bouquet and garter toss game. He remembers the feeling of her soft smooth skin against his lips.

Ran catches him staring at her exposed skin. She modestly pulls the fabric to cover herself. She blushes and so does he.

She clears her throat and pats the stool next to her, inviting him to sit and so he does.

"Gin on the rocks." He tells the bartender who proceeds to fix his drink.

Ran glances at him strangely he turns to her as he feels her gaze at him. He smiles. She doesn't need to ask. He could tell by the look of her face what she is thinking.

"It was a defense mechanism. I started drinking the cocktails that resembled their names to get over the trauma after what happened…" He explained and Ran nods.

The bartender sets down Shinichi's drink and Shinichi takes it in his hand he looks at the glass as he lightly shakes the liquid and ice inside.

"It makes me think that I'm in control of them…" He says before bringing the glass up to his lips, taking a gulp of the alcoholic drink.

Ran finds herself staring at him. Her eyes dart at his lips and she remembers how they felt against her skin, when he was pulling the garter up to her thigh using his teeth. Then she stares at his Adam's apple, moving as he gulps. She absentmindedly bites her lips but she snaps out from her reverie when he sets the glass down, making a sound as it makes contact with the table. He winces at the bitter after taste. Ran sets aside her champagne and then avoids his gaze. They stay silent, not knowing what to say to each other.

"The night is young… Let's dance…" He says impulsively and Ran gapes at him, bewildered. Shinichi chuckles at her reaction.

"Dancing with your ex? Don't you think it's weird?" She asks, bringing the glass of champagne to her lips but not drinking anything from it instead, she stains the rim of the glass with her lipstick.

"But I'm not dancing with my ex." He says, taking her free hand and the sudden contact sends shivers down her spine. She turns her attention to him and looks at his cerulean eyes. Suddenly she remembers how easily she could get lost in them. "I'm dancing with my childhood friend…"

He smiles and so does she. He stands up and she does too. Her dress flows freely against her frame, accentuating her perfect body figure in a modest but sexy way. Shinichi couldn't help but feel mesmerized as he pauses for a moment to look at her before he lightly drags her along with him. Ran's champagne glass soon lays forgotten by the bar as they head towards the dance floor. Suddenly the upbeat music shifts into a soft one as if on cue. Couples start to slow dance and then Shinichi and Ran feel awkward again. Feelings resurface and they continue to repress them.

Ran looks around and then turns to Shinichi. She has a hesitant look on her face. Her eyes are filled with anxiety and so many questions are going through her head. Shinichi feels his heart racing but he gives her an assuring smile.

"Just one song. A couple of minutes and it's over…" He promises her. She nods.

Shinichi guides her hands to his shoulders before he wraps his arms around her waist. His fingers graze the exposed skin of her back. She flinches at his touch but she comfortably wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

She looks at him and silently admires how handsome he is in his gray tux. Unknown to her he is doing the same, savoring the moment, thinking about how lovely she looks in her peach dress and done-up hair.

Then he remembers he only has roughly three minutes, four or five at the most to hold her. So, he pulls her closer to him and rests his chin on her shoulder. She is taken aback by his actions but she doesn't push him away instead she returns his embrace and steadies her breath as she feels him breathing against her neck.

They continue to lightly sway to the rhythm, listening to the music but mostly thinking to themselves how they could only wish for time to stop for a moment or maybe for the song to go on longer…

To go on forever.

The bridge of the song comes and Shinichi, unable to control himself, lowers his head just a little so that his lips would meet her exposed shoulder. Shivers run down Ran's spine and she heaves a soft sigh. He leaves soft kisses against her shoulder, tracing up to her jawline and then to the crook of her neck, then to her cheek. Her hands travel from the small of his back and then up to brush her fingers gently against his dark brown hair.

Shinichi pauses just a millimeter away from Ran's face. His lips almost touching hers. She could literally breathe in his breath that smelled of Gin and… peppermint, quite an odd combination.

Then the last note of the piano instrumental plays and fades into silence. Ran snaps back and Shinichi wakes into reality.

"So, that's one song… Time's up." She says in a tone almost inaudible for him to hear and she gives him a half-hearted smile. She steps away from his embrace and he abruptly feels her warmth leaving him.

Then she turns around and walks away, leaving him alone, his feet stuck to the floor as he was startled by what just happened. He shakes his head regretfully and sighs.

'Damn it. What have I done? '

He watches her back as she walks away. The farther she goes, the smaller she looks from where he is standing. Soon she disappears among the crowd. He is left alone thinking to himself if he is allowing for her to walk away from him again.

His heart throbs painfully at the thought. There is a part of him that wants to give her space. All the events that happened are probably too much for her and for both of them. Maybe he needs space too, but it hits him, how long they have been running away and holding back. He is leaving in two days. It took him ten years to see her. How much long will it take for him to see her again and moreover is he willing to let things just end in such way.

He feels it deep with in him.

There is still something there.

Over ten years, a lot has happened. He has changed and he is certain she has too. Maybe they both have but somehow, oddly enough their feelings still haven't.

And it may not make sense to some. Heck, it doesn't make sense to him and probably to both of them and maybe that's the reason why they both keep running away.

But maybe that's just how it is.

Maybe that's just how it's suppose to be.

Him and her…

So, he doesn't give it much further thought. He moves and strides until he catches sight of her, by the door leaving the function hall. He quickens his pace until he is out running, catching up to her by the empty halls. He startles her as he grabs her by the arm, making her turn her to face him.

"Shinichi!" She gasps at the sudden contact and the feeling of his strong grip against her elbow. Suddenly, the scenario feels all too familiar.

"Ran, don't run out on me like that…" He says, huffing a breath as he lets go of her arm, only to place both of his hands on her bare shoulders, pulling her closer to him. Ran places her hands on his chest, putting a distance between them. Her eyes are filled with worry as she meets his intense gaze.

"Shinichi please…" She begs, her push becomes hard, but he doesn't budge and instead his hold on her tightens. She keeps her voice calm. "Let's not get too carried away."

"So, what if we do get carried away? What's wrong with that?" He asks bluntly, catching her off guard. She stops pushing and his hold on her loosens.

She pauses for a brief moment and then she shakes her head.

"Let's stop. All this, it's just temporary. We're-" She takes a second to find the right words. "We're just caught up in the heat of the moment. It'll die down once this ends."

"No, it won't." He retorts, stubbornly shaking his head. "If it's us, it won't. With you and me, it's never off the table and you know that!"

Suddenly, Ran can't believe her ears. Her mouth is agape with surprise at how bold and quite unreasonable he is being.

"For god's sake, Shinichi. You're leaving in two days!" She tells him, raising her tone at him to remind him sternly about the reality that is to happen.

"Then I'll do something about it!" He answers in a heartbeat, clearly not giving it much thought, which causes Ran to become even more furious with him than she already is.

"And what exactly would you do, huh?!" She contests, hoping that he will come into his senses. After all, he is supposed to be the smarter one.

But maybe he just isn't anymore.

"I'll… I''ll stay." He says. His eyes are intensely looking at her, clear with resolve. She is blown-away by his sudden decision and impractical impulsiveness that he has chosen.

"What?" Her eyebrows furrow at his statement, giving him a chance to think about what he had just said and take it back while he still can. But he doesn't.

"I'll stay. I'll go back to Tokyo, with you." He adds instead and it sends her off the edge.

"Don't be stupid! Your life is in New York! You can't just throw away everything else just for this." She reasons out and she has a clear point. He is aware of it but it drives him crazy-furious and frustrated. He wonders why she always has to be right and he knows at that moment she is but it makes him so angry.

Maybe it is immature of him, maybe she is right but to him, it isn't just that.

And he knows no matter what, she'll always, always give way to others, thinking about their well-being over hers, choosing what's best for them instead of what she truly wants.

She is so kind. Too kind. He loves her for that but in a way, he also hates it about her. How she priorities others before herself, how she is always thinking about his needs and belittling herself because she thinks his dreams are bigger than her.

And maybe he is wrong but there is no in the hell way that she is just that.

Because to him, she is so much more.

She is bigger than anything else, bigger than New York.

She is everything.

Everything.

"Damn it Ran! Can you be selfish, just this once!" He bursts. "I don't have to be a damn detective to tell. I feel it. And I know you feel it too."

He pauses to steel his nerve and to steady his voice that is raising by the minute that they are pushing and pulling at each other.

"Tell me you want me to stay… And I'll stay…" He says, with a tone much softer than his out bursts. The silence lingers between them and her expression softens. He lets go of her shoulders, taking her hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to press a soft kiss on her knuckles before placing it on his chest, to make her feel his heart beating so rapidly just for her. He looks her in the eye, his gaze pleading.

He waits for an answer and she lingers, opening her mouth to say something but it takes a while before she does.

She knows deep in her heart that she so badly wants him to stay. But…

There is always a 'but'.

"I… I can't. I'm sorry." She says, taking her hand from his grip. Shrugging off his hold and turning her heel to walk away from him, this time successfully as she leaves him standing startled and quite heart-broken and distraught by her answer.

He sits on a chair in his small hotel room, thinking about the events earlier as he twirls his glass of Paikaru. On the table near him sits a bottle of the alcohol with a card indicating that it is given to him by Hattori.

He shakes his head and flinches as he remembers what had just transpired between him and Ran. Suddenly he feels stupid. He brings the glass up to his lips and gulps it all down his throat, feeling the burning sensation flow through, the bitter aftertaste lingers. He hates it, but he pours more anyway, as if it is gonna solve his problem and undo what he did and what he said earlier, maybe forget about it at the very least.

But he thinks about her still. His thoughts become hazy as the alcohol starts to kick in and mess with his system. He loosens his tie to breathe as the heat spreads across his whole body. He isn't drunk but he is at the very least, tipsy.

He wonders about what is about to happen, given the confrontation that happened. He concludes that things have gone much worse now. Ran would probably never have the heart to forgive him and it sucks because he just ruined everything.

Ran would never talk to him again and he is leaving in two days with her, mad at him. He realizes that he should have just left it at that. It is already good enough that they are friends, why did he have to ask for more?

And now this is what he gets for not being contented. It took him ten years to come back and see her again who knows how long till he returns after flying back and if he'll ever patch things up with her.

He is about to gulp down another round of Paikaru when a knock wakes him to his senses, disturbing him from his moment of remorse. He rolls his eyes, annoyed and stands up, practically dragging himself to the entrance of his hotel room, turning the knob and opening his door violently, thinking that is probably just one of his friends being bothersome.

"Now's not a good time-

He begins but is immediately cut off as he finds her outside, still in her beautiful dress. He blinks about twice, questioning his senses, thinking that he is already too drunk that he is seeing things he isn't supposed to see, but she stays there. Her cheeks stained with a faint blush as she looks him in the eye.

"What are you doing here?" He asks. There isn't any contempt in his tone. It is just a mere question because after what had just happened, he is sure as hell that she would never want to see him again, but she is there.

She steels her nerve as she thinks of a reply.

"I'm being selfish. Like you told me to." She finally says, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him close. Shinichi is unable to process her words as she closes the very little distance between them and smashes her lips against his, taking them in a very rough, very heated kiss. His eyes widen in shock, startled by her actions and sudden boldness, but it doesn't take him much time to think as his mind is hazy with the feeling of her, the taste of her. He lets himself drown in her, shutting his senses as he responds and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her close as he tilts his head and brushes his lips against hers, slipping his tongue into her mouth which she opens just enough to grant him access. He tastes the faint bitter taste of Vermouth, the sweetness of Maraschino cherries and her all combined in something so intoxicating and addictive it makes him want more.

She steps forward and he steps back without breaking the kiss. The door closes behind them. He holds her body against him even more closely as if it were possible.

He is sure. This time around, he is never gonna let her go.

AN. So here it is! Sorry it took a while. I was so busy with work lately that I haven't had the time to post this on time with the schedule that I planned. So, thank you so much for waiting. I've received lots of words of encouragement and it really means a lot to me that you guys are patiently waiting. Anyway, there are about only two or three more chapters until this fic ends and I would just like to warn you guys, (IDK if it's not obvious for y'all) but the next chapter is gonna contain lemon. Ahhh. I'm excited and at the same time nervous about it. Really hoping to post the next update soon.

Also, for those who are reading on FF/AO3, what do you guys prefer, should the lemon chap be included in this compilation, thereby making this one Rated-M as a whole fic or should be in a separate post so that that chapter alone will be the only one that's Rated-M and the rest of this fic will remain to be Rated-T?

What do you guys prefer? Tell me what you think.

Thank you so much and see ya on my next update!

~J

Fanfiction.net link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13195514/4/The-Same-Old-You AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17626277/chapters/42683639

NEXT CHAPTER

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Grimoire of Zero 10 - 11 | Royal Tutor 11 - 12 (FINAL) | Kado 10 | Boku no Hero Academia 25 | Tsukigakirei 10 - 11...plus summer 2017 anticipated anime.

Just gonna put this here so it gets more attention while it’s open.-> http://www.strawpoll.me/13311671

Grimoire of Zero 10

Geez, the staff pulled a Kado 0 - 1 on us here…i.e. the ending of one ep is the same as the opening of the next ep. It’s just to a lesser extent than Kado did.

Seriously, who is Him??? They still haven’t told us!

Welp, there’s my answer. It was too obvious to centre a 12 episode series around, I would’ve given a plot point like that about…3 or 4 eps, tops.

Grimoire of Zero 11

The thing about this show is that you can just turn your brain off and watch along. It’s a tad slow, but enjoyable and that’s why I’ve stuck with it.

LOL, I understand what it’s like to have “messy, wormlike handwriting”…

I don’t believe a wisp of that karate chop, Holdem. The hand was at the wrong angle.

Finally, the show gets funny again. There’s the Zero we know.

I love the sense of scale the animators have demonstrated with the spells. Just saying that before I have no more chances to.

Ooh! Oh, that man. I actually side with Holdem on this one, he deserved that punch.

“I-“ – Ooh, at that moment I got completely engrossed in the cliffhanger. Normally shows don’t cut off in the middle of a sentence, do they?

Royal Tutor 11

I can’t believe they forcibly took Gregor. Isn’t there some kind of legal offence for-oh wait. That’s called kidnapping. (partially sarcastic)

I’ve always found it interesting that the princes have to refer to the king as such, rather than “dad”. That seems to be a problem in every single piece of media you get about royalty, although these guys have a conscious sort of “I am no longer the king, but your father” (and vice versa) switch which is controlled by Viktor.

Oh, so it’s basically all the Dickensian stuff you get in Oliver Twist…(I haven’t read it, but you know how it is with classics *rolls eyes*).

Heine’s movements are believable, but there’s some suspension of belief needed for Viktor’s (because he faints a little too fast, I think).

Welp, this ain’t quite crying material, but I can tell there was a “climax” where the audience was expected to cry. Knowing this is anime-only material keeps my eyes dry, I guess. However, knowing that Heine’s resigned as Royal Tutor really made my heart drop…after all, this is the second last episode, and I’ve really had fun watching these princes and their diminuitive tutor.

Royal Tutor 12

Bruno really likes Gendo poses, doesn’t he?

Heine’s voice is great for a noob VA. It really sells the character.

I always thought “hai-neh” was a weird pronunciation, but that’s what it says in the katakana.

Seeing Heine tell others their strengths really makes me feel like I’m missing them already, in a good way. I’m not tearing up yet, but it’s real heartwarming and I know if I were in the same situation, I’d cry too.

“Goodbye” isn’t quite “excuse me”, but I guess it works context-wise.

This is one of those shows where “show, don’t tell” works well and I think the show’s nailed it for the most part.

University degrees don’t necessrily make good tutors. Any student knows that, especially in uni.

I can see why even the author cried at this now, even though I’m still not crying.

W-Who’s that? With the dark hair? Eins???

Ah, there’s my answer. It was indeed Eins. Why does he have dark hair???

Welp, there’s one finale for the spring season over. The anime staff really couldn’t have done too much about Eins, though, which sucks. Come back another time for a different show, ‘kay?

Kado 10

I’m in that weird stage where I want to like Kado, but because everyone’s jumped ship, I won’t want to like it either…what a weird thing peer pressure is. *feels like crying*

I feel like I’m in Superhero Project (one of my stories) where protag Keisuke wakes up in a white expansive room to be trained in his powers. Only this time, they gave the room fractals.

Interesting. It’s like an alien LINE convo.

Sarasouju tree…apparently, it’s this thing. Commonly known as “sal”. I’ve never heard of it, though.

“Humans are ephermeal creatures.” – You remind me of Haibara (Detective Conan).

“There’re guns everywhere in America!” – LOL, that sure ain’t the truth, as much as America has gun problems.

Let’s play another common anime game. It’s called “Spot the Main Character from their Hair Colour”.

(SPOILERS for White Parasite from now on!) zaShunina’s still teetering on “cuckoo” from his facial expressions here. It’s sad, because I wanted him to be mysterious and beautiful like La Luna forever...that’s why I killed La Luna off!

*sigh* Okay, evil mastermind pretender, put your hands back on and please just negotiate like you wanted to in the beginning. (*on the brink of tears* Hey, I realised something. I keep making comparisons to White Parasite, but people find it confusing. By making those comparisons, I seem to have almost jinxed Kado to be this way.)

*crying because Shindo* La Luna’s force of living was the goodwill that it used to create its powers. Does that mean the anisotropic run off trust in the same way? (By the way, please don’t resurrect Shindo. That would break the laws of reality as we know it – even anisotropic laws.) (end spoilers)

Welp, I guess not. B-But, my dreams just got ruined by Saraka kissing Shindo (although the Kado tag spoilered it for me anyway)…

Pffffft. Okkkkkkay, Captain Shang, hold up!

Shindo’s angry face at Saraka wearing his shirt had me dying. He really is Captain Shang.

Kado. You were so beautiful at first. I placed my faith in you. B-But you changed, and now all I can do is see you through as you become a cliché fest I could have easily created with my own hands. In fact, I did create a Kado with my own hands - White Parasite. So I am the one to blame…I will have to see this through as I have seen through White Parasite.

Boku no Hero Academia 25

Well, that certainly threw me for a loop. Between two forces of roughly even power, it’s unpredictable who’ll win, but the ability to humanise a character comes with weaknesses. I know that already, as a writer and reader of hero stories.

All Might is such a fatherly type. I don’t think I could write a character like him – both OP yet grounded at the same time.

Plus Ultra!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, the woman with red streaks is his…aunty? Sister? I’m not sure at all.

Aw, this Shouto segment was just too good. I’m worried about Iida though, because from the Stain stuff I’ve seen floating around, he will not take the defeat of his bro lightly. Also, amazarashi is coming in the next part of BnHA! I loved Speed to Masatsu, so it’s good to meet him again here.

Tsukigakirei 10

“An Encouragement of Learning” is a Fukuzawa work.

From Kawagoe to Chiba it really is about 2 hrs. Look.

Oh great. Bad CGI people strike again…

Monzenyokocho.

Did Hira have kawaii eyes just as the other people thrust trash at him?

Imokoi is a Kawagoe specialty involving…wait for it…sweet potatoes. That’s why the sweet potato mascot makes sense.

My eyes!!!!!!!! Bad CGI people stand out more in night scenes (compared to day scenes, of course).

Toki no Kane, apparently also known as the Bell of Time.

The “game” in question, that rock paper scissors, was probably a batsu (penalty) game.

I guess I should’ve guessed Kotarou would’ve gotten angry at Hira eventually. I just didn’t think it would be now.

That shot of Kotarou walking down the street looked a little awkward because it looked like he was walking on a flat surface when it’s actually slanted.

It’s not just my video, is it? Akane’s crying got sped up and that pulled me out of what was meant to be an immersive scene.

Chotto matte means “wait a bit”, but I feel like “I’ll be right there” is warping the meaning a lil’ too much.

Well, I never expected this show to portray anger. It pulled Kotarou’s anger off really well.

I never thought I’d see the day where Kotarou would rely on the potato mascot, either. I like a show that goes out of its way to be unpredictable like this. Too bad it came a little too late in the game.

Tsukigakirei is all about following the heart and not necessarily the mind, so this is a pefect way to show it.

Oh! That was another good unexpected thing, but then they’ve been teasing that since the fireworks. Too bad they kept part of Kotarou’s face hidden right after it.

This end of ep LINE convo is about a couple that can’t sleep, so one of them starts talking about their part time job…then it gets cut off.

Oh, so that’s how Sakura is related to the main events…okay.

Tsukigakirei 11

“To decide that I’m hopeless before I even begin is nothing but laziness.” - Wise words, Dazai.

Were there always two potato mascots at the top of 13.70? I think one appeared there when Kotarou first received his, actually, although I’m not bothered to look…

The people aren’t CGI now…or I’ve somehow gotten used to them…? Either way, they’ve stepped up their animation game (in exchange for ep 12 being late, according to a note on the CR page).

That’s a cute jumper, Akane.

The fact Kotarou changes his message is something I can relate with. Even one forum post can take hours to type, even though time is always never on my side.

What’s that purple thing on the onigiri plate? A pickled plum? No, those are red…

A “root for the underdog” story is a classic, so I can see why Roman’s rooting for Kotarou.

Hahaha…yeah, let’s just sat I can’t understand the science for the life of me and leave it at that. That stuff’s chemistry, I haven’t touched it since I was 14 or 15.

The stuff about circles appears to be on segments, equal angles and so on (you know how you find the angle of a triangle based on where it is in a circle? Yeah, stuff like that).

Oh yeah, I never thought this but…Kawagoe Seminar. It’s named like Sailor Moon’s Crystal Seminar, and for good reason – both are cram schools.

There’s a grade score near Kotarou’s wrist, so understandably he got an A in Japanese.

Parents aren’t like that, Kotarou. They don’t always hope for your failure, they just hope you’ll do well in life…says someone whose parents have aways supported them.

Instead of having CGI people moving, they’ve finally done 2D people. However, the tradeoff is that now the people are not moving, which is just as weird if not even weirder.

“PoPo” is such a weird name for a shop, LOL.

No wait, I take part of my comment about 2D people back. There is still CGI, it’s just less prononced now they’ve bothered to put in 2D background people as well.

That scarf goes well with his outfit…says someone who sucks at coordinating outfits.

Why not just talk with her when you’re ready, Kotarou? If The Royal Tutor taught me anything, it’s that it’s always good to talk things over if you can’t understand each other.

Aitai can mean “want to meet”(like you’re meant to do to make the fish a heart), but the ai is in hiragana (so it doesn’t mean anything) and the kanji for tai used means “red snapper”. As in, the fish.

There’s a lot of ganbaru (try your hardest) used in this ep, and Kotarou says benkyouganbaresou in this “Sorry it didn’t turn out so great” convo. The nuance is therefore lost in the translated version, “I feel like I’m ready to study again starting tomorrow”, although I can’t suggest a better alternative.

Yeah, Kotarou’s mother is right. If you have a normal sleep schedule, you’re able to work better, despite how great it may be to sleep in.

I get easily lost on public transport, so I understand the vibe Kotarou’s parents are giving off.

This ep’s ED LINE convo is two people (one’s a guy, the other I don’t know the gender of) talking about studying and, at the start of the convo, the guy’s mother being angry. At the end of the convo it turns out the guy’s notebook was blank (and that’s the punchline to the convo).

Well, I’ll confirm my lineup for summer here and now. Licensing’s already being doled out as we speak so some of the lineup’s set in stone already. In order of hype:

Definite hype:

Boku no Hero Academia 2* (carryover)

Katsugeki Touken Ranbu*

Reflection*

Nana Maru San Batsu

Kaito x Ansa (already binged Nazotokine to prepare)

Nobunaga no Shinobi ~ Ise to Kanegasaki-hen ~* (see below, carryover)

Medium - low hype:

Vatican Kiseki Chousakan

Princess Principal 

Jikan no Shihaisha (seen the first chapter or so of the manga)

Isekai Shokudou* 

18if

Youkai Apato

Clione no Akari

Konbini Kareshi

Zannen Onna

Asterisks mean licensing’s been confirmed already for me as of this post - I’ve asterisked anything confirmed to be by CR this season, because that’s likely to be worldwide bar Asia. Katsugeki is the only known show out of the asterisks that isn’t a CR stream. 

Funi’s opened up its services to my region (due to the CR x Funi merger), I could probably watch 18if there, but 1) I feel like Funi doesn’t have a good enough player, and 2) I feel like it’ll show up on a service that has a better player.

You’ll notice Nobunaga no Shinobi, a carryover from the last season I previously didn’t care for, is on the list. I was looking at YouTube videos of people’s favourite OPs and I fell in love with Shirayuki (by Renka, it’s the OP for the current season) recently, so I binged the existing content in one day. However, it being a short series means it’s not eligible for simulcast commentary and I’ll have to make a separate ranking for short series once I make my year-end rankings (to include ~ Ise to Kanegasaki-hen ~, and because watching Kenka Bancho Otome has screwed my rankings over enough as it is). After all, my 2016 ranking policy was “a show I saw at least once over in 2016 and had at least one seasonal entry in 2016″, which if applied to this year would make Nobunaga no Shinobi eligible, but it would be unfair to pit it against any shows with standard 24 min eps.

[balancingdiet]

Tabula Rasa

Detective Conan & Magic Kaito Characters: Shinichi/Kaito Words: 3100 ish Chapter: (1) … (18) (19) (20)

Shinichi always finds his neighbour weird. But he didn’t expect to find his neighbour lying on a patch of grass and donned in Kaitou Kid’s costume, too.

Dear Diary,                24 Dec

Hello! Before I start, let me first introduce myself. My name is Aoko, and I like to cook and volunteer at the hospital. There’s always this sense of accomplishment whenever people enjoy my cooking and company, and it makes me happy when they are happy!

What else... Oh, I haven’t thought of what I want to be when I grow up, but I do have lots of inspirations around. First of all, my dad is a Police Inspector! And Kaito, my childhood friend/neighbour is an amazing magician! Both Keiko and Sayaka, my close friends in high school, aspire to be a baker! Yuna too, wants to be a vet.

Ok, I think I’m starting to drift away from the main topic... Anyway, this notebook was a gift from Kaito. Or not. He said he got it as a complimentary item for some stuff that he bought online... But well, the fact that he even thought of me is already pretty sweet.

I originally wanted to use this book to do my homework, but Keiko suggested writing a diary with it, so I shall give it a go! Let’s see how long this diary-keeping thing will last (^-^)v

-

Dear Diary,               4 Jan

Bakaito got a cold today.

Okay. Let me rephrase that.

Kaito got a cold today.

Well, I guess he doesn’t deserve to be called Bakaito when it was sort of my fault that he became sick... But he’s so stupid! Yesterday, I told him I needed help because I sprained my ankle at the supermarket, and he came WITHOUT HIS COAT. It was such a long way home! What was he thinking??

But yeah... so now we’re both stuck at home. Me with a sprained ankle and him with a fever... I guess I can't see Kaito's ice skating fails any time soon! (≧∀≦)

 -

Dear Diary,               22 Jan

Today, Kaito and I went to volunteer at the hospital.

We found out that Mika-chan’s dad passed away last night.

This is so horrible... Mika-chan loved her dad so much.

When I heard the news, I couldn't control myself and had to cry in the bathroom while Kaito started the magic show on his own.

I felt bad. The atmosphere wasn't great and Kaito wasn't in his best condition either, yet he still put on a smile the entire time.

Ended up, his performance cheered me up too.

I don't know what I'd do if Kaito wasn't there.

 -

Dear Diary,               1 Feb

( •̀ω•́ )σ ( •̀ω•́ )σ ( •̀ω•́ )σ

KAITOU KID SUCKS

KAITOU KID!!!!

SUCKS!!!

( •̀ω•́ )σ ( •̀ω•́ )σ ( •̀ω•́ )σ

 -

Dear Diary,               28 Apr

It’s been a few months since Kaitou Kid returned.

I never like him, and will never understand why everyone treats him like a celebrity either. But now... I think I should start viewing this from another perspective.

Since Kid first disappeared, and also mom’s death... I rarely see dad ever energised for anything. But after Kid returned, he's so much more motivated to go to work now. Speaking of which, dad was on his way out to the office before I went to school this morning. He even agreed when I suggested to make and deliver him bento dinner. He never wanted them the last time, just because...

But even though I’ve decided this MAY be the best for dad, that DOESN’T mean I will EVER tolerate Kid’s criminal ways!! Dad is definitely gonna catch him in the end, and by then, let’s see if he can still walk around in his costume!!

Seriously though, what’s with his hat.

He looks stupid.

(」ﾟﾛﾟ)｣

 -

Dear Diary,               18 May

Today, Kaito and I went to Tropical Land.

I know I should at least be a bit happier when I had so much fun, but I still feel a little bad... especially when the reason why I asked Kaito out in the first place was because I thought he was Kaitou Kid! Or at least that was what my dad thought. 

But in the end, I’m glad Kaito proved my dad and I wrong.

How can he be Kaitou Kid anyway?

I think I owe Kaito more than just an ice cream treat for ever doubting him. Maybe I should ask him out to Tropical Land again properly next time. And then we’ll have real loads of fun!

 -

Dear Diary,               30 May

EDOGAWA CONAN THE KID KILLER IS MY NEW IDOL!!!

I have no idea who this kid is, but he’s really, really smart and cute! And comparing to all the Kid’s fans out there, I can’t believe it’s A CHILD that knows what’s right and wrong...

Hakuba-kun always uses the right words to irritate Bakaito, but I think the name “Edogawa Conan” has more effect on him. If I could get an autograph... I think it would be the best thing to use to tease Kaito and his stupid obsession with Kaitou Kid! (｀▽´)

 -

Dear Diary,               21 June

Today is Kaito’s birthday!!

I used to always buy him magic crafts and gadgets from our local bookstore, but now that he has the capabilities to make his own tricks, it’s a definite no-no! I considered bringing him to his favourite Ramen store, but I figured it’d be the easiest to just ask what he wanted to do or eat instead.

Guess what was his answer?

He said he wanted me to teach him how to cook fried rice.

I was like what?? That’s it? And he said yeah. So we spent the entire day getting the ingredients at the supermarket before going over to my house. It was easy and Kaito got the steps fast, but... silly Kaito. I mean... if he ever wants to eat it, he can tell me and I can always cook it for him.

But oh well! It’s nice to know Kaito wants to learn something else besides magic tricks. I had fun teaching him anyway. And I believe he had fun too!

As long as he’s happy, I think that’s all that really matters.

----

“Kudo-kun!”

Shinichi shut the notebook and turned, watching as Takagi walked to close their distance on the rooftop. Keeping the book inside the pocket of his suit jacket, Shinichi greeted back.

“I thought you’re taking a break.” Takagi gestured to Shinichi’s suit once he stood beside him. “Turns out you’re reading your notes? For a case?”

“No, it’s not anything related to work.” Shinichi afforded a smile, but there was just so much his lips could move as his heart squeezed at the thought of Kaito.

Takagi nodded understandingly and said nothing more, which Shinichi couldn't be any more thankful for. “Anyway, I’m not sure if anyone told you since you missed this morning’s debrief, but a new division is on its way.”

“Yeah, Inspector Megure did tell me,” Shinichi said.

“I’m so glad things are going back to normal for us again.” Takagi heaved out a relief sigh after a long stretch. “And maybe by then, you can also focus on what’s worrying you all these while.”

Shinichi blinked. “...What?”

Takagi raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been worrying about something, or someone, haven’t you?”

"Um..."

“I may be wrong, and I’m sorry if I am. It’s just that I noticed some similar things in you that I had whenever I worried for Miwako-san.” Takagi scratched the back of his head. “I hope things are okay for you.”

“...Thank you.” Shinichi turned and looked over the view beyond the roof. “Anyway, you’re not wrong. There’s someone I’ve been worrying about recently.”

And that was all Shinichi could say.

It wasn't just for the sake of Kaito’s privacy or identity. The truth was, Shinichi had no idea what to do besides worrying. And this was the first time he felt so, so useless in this entire decade of his life.

He pressed a hand over his suit, feeling the bulge from the notebook.

“Then I hope things will work out for that person too...” Takagi’s voice trailed off as his brows furrowed in concern. “Actually, is he or she someone I know? I’ll be more than glad to help if I can.”

“No, you don’t know him... but he did knock you out disguise as you before,” Shinichi muttered at the end.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Shinichi smiled. “Thanks for your concern. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Takagi slapped a hand over Shinichi’s back. “We’re a team after all.”

---- 

Dear Diary,               16 July

Kaito has been pretty busy lately. And tired. Yes. Definitely tired.

I thought it was related to his track-and-field club and went to ask Chihaya-chan, but she said there wasn’t any recent competition lately. In fact... Kaito hasn’t been an active member since many months ago.

I then asked Kaito a few times about it, but he always deflected my questions and started talking about other things. And that is ALWAYS his habit. Guess what, BAKAITO??? The more you try to avoid, the more obvious it becomes! <(｀^´)>

I'm so frustrated at him, but you know what’s even more frustrating? It’s the way he never fails to make me want to forgive him in the end even though I should have stayed angry at him longer. Always giving me those pretty roses and placating me with Tamago...

So SO FRUSTRATING!!

 -

Dear Diary,               11 Aug

Kaito fell asleep in class again.

It’s not like I’m worried for his grades when he never needed to pay attention in class to score well (;¬_¬) What I’m worried about is his health.

I’ve already given up asking why and what he is exactly busy with, but I’m afraid he’d started stressing himself to attend the volunteering sessions with me, just because he doesn’t want me to worry...

I’m grateful, and forever will be, for those days when he accompanied me to visit my mom and even signing up for the volunteering program just for me. I’m really, really grateful for all he has done and all that he is doing now, but what I want is to be able to help Kaito, to lift whatever burden he is carrying... And what I want even more is for him to trust me. Trust me enough so that I can do all those things I want to do for him...

Just... ugh.

Stupid, stupid Bakaito...

 -

Dear Diary,               9 Sep

Today is my birthday.

We didn't have school and Keiko asked why I didn’t take the opportunity to hold a party, but to be honest, it slipped my mind. I had been so busy with homework and worrying about... well, yeah.

Dad has work, but he wished me early in the morning before he went. Keiko, Sayaka and Yuna came over to my house and baked a cake for me. Everyone in the hospital helped to celebrate too when I went to volunteer in the evening. Kanna-chan even made a bracelet as a gift! Having a party or not, I still feel extra loved today.

As for Kaito... he had wished me in the morning through a text, but I didn’t see him all day. He must be busy.

It’s fine anyway. There’s always next year.

.

.

OH my god. Bakaito CAME.

Guess how did he do it?! He had climbed up to my balcony and scared the hell out of me! AND HE STILL HAD THE CHEEKS TO SAY HE WAS 12 MINUTES EARLY. He must be some monkey in his past life! ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ

He then asked me to follow him to his backyard. Like, seriously, he could have called or texted me on the phone instead of climbing up to my balcony... but beside the point, I followed while he led the way.

And turns out this Kaito... He had cultivated a bush of blue roses as a gift for my birthday.

Oh boy... It is really, really beautiful!!!! And I think I must be so overwhelmed that I just... sort of pounced onto him as a form of...thanks. (//∀//)

I called it a hug, and he called it an attempted murder.

Then with only 3 minutes left, he sang me a birthday song with Wasabi and Curry sitting on his shoulders while Tamago sat on his head. I think I hadn’t laughed that hard since ages.

And I think I hadn’t seen Kaito looked so bright and cheery for a long time.

He told me to make a wish afterwards. But to be honest, I don’t think I needed one.

At that point of time, I felt as though all my wishes had already come true.

 -

Dear Diary,               1 Nov

With the way Bakaito has been handling his life, I knew he will fall sick sooner or later...

He’s now down with a cold and a fever and has been missing from school for three days.

I was so tempted to tell him a ‘I told you so,’ when I dropped by his house for a visit, but I rather Kaito get well soon than to jinx him any further. He kept on drifting in and out of his sleep too, and it pained me when I saw him like that.

I stayed till dinner time and had to force feed him the porridge I cooked, while convincing him that I DID NOT put any fish in it for about 90 times. He seemed to care more about the non-existent fish than his fever and the medicines he hadn’t eaten. Silly Bakaito.

Maybe I should visit him tomorrow again.

 -

Dear Diary,               2 Nov

Today, Kaito got admitted to the hospital. He’s getting proper treatment, but he’s still sick, which is why it’s getting worrisome. This is the first time he’s been sick for so long.

And luckily Jii-chan was around... Or I don’t know what to do alone...

- 

Dear Diary,               3 Nov

Kaito Kaitojis Kaito iskasit

Kaito is Kaitou Kid.

The portrait of his dad in his room... I thought it was just an ordinary portrait. I thought...

I’ve thought so many things.

I just wanted to pack Kaito’s clothes. I don’t know why I heard a sound behind the portrait. I don’t know why I decided to give it a push. I don’t know why the portrait could flip.

I don’t know why I ended up in another room.

I... don’t know.

In the end, I had to lie to Jii-chan that I had something urgent and couldn’t bring Kaito’s clothes.

I can’t face Kaito.

I just can’t.

But then... What should I do now?

- 

Dear Diary,               6 Nov

Kaito is well.

That’s all that mattered for now.

 -

Dear Diary,               7 Nov

THIS BAKAITO. DID HE SERIOUSLY SEND A HEIST NOTE RIGHT AFTER HE RECOVERED?!

WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO HIMSELF.

 -

Dear Diary,               10 Nov

It’s been a long time since I went to Kid’s heist.

Tonight’s loot was a golden sapphire, and it was held inside a museum of a very, very wealthy man... And thanks to dad, I got into the museum and avoided being squashed by the crowd that were cheering outside, but I wasn’t allowed to hang out at the main area. I went to the security room instead.

The heist lasted around ten minutes, which was quite typical, based on what I heard from dad. Blackout. Smoke bombs. Escape. But for that ten minutes, dad had spent the entire day with the Task Force and the owner, just to prep enough to take down Kid.

And as for Kaito... he probably used hours and hours to plan, hours and hours to prepare, and hours and hours to do all of everything for this... and yet after a day or two, he would return the loot back in great condition...

Why?

I can’t figure Kaito out . Or Kaitou Kid. All these things... they don’t make sense. And if I can’t understand, I can’t find any reason to forgive Kaito.

But I want to.

I really want to.

Why is he making it hard for me to do so?

 -

Dear Diary,               14 Nov

What should I do?

 -

Dear Diary,               16 Nov

What should I do?

 -

Dear Diary,               20 Nov

What should I do?

 -

Dear Diary,               22 Nov

What should I do?

 -

Dear Diary,               28 Nov

At the rate Kaito is sending his heist notes, I’m pretty sure he’s going to fall sick again, what’s more the weather is getting really cold soon... How does Kaitou Kid keep himself warm in his costume? And that hat... it’s just ridiculous.

Everything is ridiculous...

Maybe I should have made a wish when Kaito asked me to on my birthday.

Maybe I should have told him how I feel.

Maybe.

I don’t know anymore.

 -

Dear Diary,               24 Dec

This diary is one year old now.

How time flies so fast...

Oh, and it’s Christmas tomorrow too. Keiko had invited me to her house to celebrate, and I think I’m going to go.

It’s the only place I could go.

 -

Dear Diary,               18 Jan

During the volunteering session today, Kanna-chan told me she missed Kaito and his magic shows.

It’s good to know I’m not the only one too.

But even though I feel that every single day, being told about it by someone else caught me off guard, and I didn’t really know how to response. So I just... told her he will drop by soon...

I think Kanna-chan wasn't convinced though, which isn't strange. I mean... I'm never a great liar after all. But it's ironic how Kaito hasn't seen through the things I've been hiding from him until now.

 ----

Shinichi reached the last written page of the book.

(But it wasn’t the end. In fact, there wasn’t an end.)

He brushed a finger at the bottom of the page, feeling the creases caused by the countless blotches of dried, water stains...

Shinichi closed the book.

Of course he knew better, but it was easier, and nicer, to think it was simply water and nothing else.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Kado 12 (FINAL) | Katsugeki Touken Ranbu 1 | Battle Girl High School 1 | Keppeki Danshi! Aoyama-kun 1 | Youkai Apato 1 | Isekai Shokudou 1

Kado 12 (FINAL)

Shunina in 2D looks creepy as all get out…

I believe what zaShunina wants to get at is that we have reasoning and intelligence…which is half of what some people have feared about this show all along. The “humans are special” preach.

Gonno finally has a point of purpose, which is great.

I’m laughing. It really is Yandere zaShunina, LOL!

Funny thing zaShunina uses the words “way of living”. The characters that make up Shindo’s surname (真道) mean “true way”.

I have the feeling zaShunina can’t actually cry, and he’s faking it.

“…I’ve been meaning to punch you myself.” – In short, Kado really is just a shonen battle series in disguise.

zaShunina’s face makes me wanna cry. That’s the second time this season’s climaxes have attempted to bring me to tears…

Oh well, at least I got my broman-Huh? Shindo’s heart got torn out?! ewfefl/…

Hey, look. Origami bird in the anisotropic. I still want to know how to make one, dangit!

*wants to cry again* Shun-kun? You mean…Hanamori? This 16 year old is another Saraka?

*howling with laughter, but still at the brink of tears* Please, please stop making me ship Saraka and Shindo, since I never shipped them anyway. However, the biggest laugh this season was zaShunina’s many many expressions of rage, that probably beat out even that woman from the Emperor’s New Groove, LOL (Yzma).

Seeing old Hanamori – every single darned shot of him – makes me wanna cry. Plus, Yukika as a baby had a Takoyaki Cat bundle, haha.

*White Parasite spoilers!* A-Ah! So “White Parasite” really was an omen for where this show would go! zaShunina got defeated by his own power, just like La Luna, but zaShunina basically gained the range of expressions of a human, unlike Luna, who was killed off early. Ah…that’s sad. I predicted exactly where this would go without having even seen the show. *end spoilers*

*as the titlecard appears* I-I don’t get it…but wait, there’s more. Keep watching, people.

Chotto ittekimasu means “Out for a little bit”, which isn’t quite the same as “back later”, but I’ll take it.

W-Wah? It’s over…? Well, suffice to say, I was amazed beyond my imagining, so that’s great on an entertainment level (plus I laughed way too hard at Kado). However, the fact I ended up predicting a show I hadn’t even seen yet means it will have to get marked down appropriately.

Katsugeki Touken Ranbu 1

Finally, we’ve gotten to one of the big attractions of the season – I’m a fan of Touken Ranbu, so while seeing my boys animated in Hanamaru was a treat, fall 2016 was a bottleneck in the commentaries. Katsugeki needs to go above and beyond to take one of the 4 slots open to normal-form shows (BnHA’s already taken one slot).

It may be bleak (it’s kinda murky, colours-wise), but it’s…beautiful!!! (My precious Kane-san has properly come to life!) The star effect with the blood is a nice touch.

My memory’s a lil’ rusty because I haven’t played TR for a few months, but the things in the box are koban.

This thing’s like Kado in that it would make a great movie. I envy the people who get to see this in the highest possible res on a big screen…(“My anime club should seriously screen this!” is what I’m saying.)

Interestingly, they’ve chosen Kane-san, so this doesn’t accurately depict a player’s normal route through the game. Either that or this saniwa doesn’t want to sacrifice their starter on this mission. I know how precious my first Kashuu was to me, but I broke him because I was being too reckless…

The saniwa in this is a girl, so the subber who called the saniwa “he” hasn’t looked into the promo material much.

TR’s party limit is six, so this saniwa’s a real noob. (Not that I can say anything – I haven’t passed the Kiwame map yet!)

So Konnosuke can function as Google, LOL. That’s new, I never thought of that pesky fox in that way.

I bet because the Saniwa knew these were swords under the same master, she saw the shipping potential, LOL. Or maybe it’s because the two work well as a pair…

This looks a lot like the starting movie that DMM put in about one year after I started on TR. I bet that’s specifically what they were aiming for, so that’s perfect.

Ooh! What a controversial choice, to put a representation of the saniwa into the show! I wonder why they did such a thing, though?

Judging by this lineup, I’d say Mutsu was this saniwa’s starter. (I’d really like to analyse this saniwa’s choices and drops, as a fellow TR player.) Then again, if I knew the name of the era, then I’d get a better sense of this player’s capability (and judge whether I can really call them a noob or not, LOL).

Dangit, Saniwa! You have Tsuru and Mikazuki (two swords I currently don’t have)! I’m jealous of you!

That’s real cute and nostalgic, to put the preview like a recollection. A fine choice indeed, ufotable.

Kunihiro says specifically he has to try his hardest to not fail, which is slightly different to what the subs say.

Interesting. The words Kane-san uses for “tense” are “[Kunihiro] puts too much energy into his shoulders”.

Well, it’s pretty safe to say this is a keeper between hype and an almost-perfect performance for what I’d expect from a TR adaption. I’m just wondering, if all my hype shows go to commentary…what will my final one be? I planned to watch 14 shows from this season, Amazon axed a few and I added a few more based on ANN so the fight for the final spot may easily be the hardest one in the history of this commentary.

Battle Girl High School 1

Yet another anime I have come to not because I genuinely am hyped for it, but because it’s the satisfaction of seeing “how the bad fall”, if you get what I mean. Also, it’s a magical girl show – it’s basically Hina Logi all over again.

Every magical girl show does that “prophetic dream” stuff, I swear. It’s why I avoid that trope like the plague as a beginning.

Notice the title’s ganbari is in katakana…which isn’t how it’s normally done, mind you.

I’m so darned confused already…so. Girls. Battles. High School. *<-shamelessly ripped from ads I saw around my streaming service) Suddenly, idols…then Irous…? The idols know the high school girls? Wah?

There are only adult dudes here, which means this is probably for adult or teenage dudes…no wonder I feel so desensitised to this, haha.

That…may have been the most uninspired magical girl transformation I have ever seen! Grah! If you’re going to do an anime on magical girls, at least bother with the transformations! Both the CGI and the idol performance are lackluster, too, but maybe that’s because I muted this show (to not have to deal with my normal gripes for anime girl voices).

The video’s panning so fast over these girls I can only barely make out each one’s face! I have very good eyesight, thank you very much!

I swear there’s at least one battle the staff of this show haven’t shown us, which would really inform us about the rest of the show if we did see it. Proper storytelling is a must in any show or any entertainment medium!

Bad CGI doesn’t look like “real danger” to me, lady.

By the by, Fortissimo (ff) means “loud”. Therefore if I mute the show, ff loses all purpose, so to speak.

Okay. Girls, battles, high school, idols, magical girls and now yuri subtext. This show can’t pick one thing and deal with it appropriately, and in the genre of “magical girl” where even the weakest effort is more balanced than some other genre shows, not balancing smaller aspects of the genre to achieve the right payoff is just sad.

A training scene would have probably eased us in better than what the show actually did…just sayin’. It’s boring, but getting the groundwork correct is necessary if you want to have people pay attention to your story. Plus, girls, please…don’t do the derpy run with arms stuck on the side of your chest. No real girl runs like that.

*checks up the show* Oh, it’s based on a smartphone game! That should explain the large cast!

Whoa! These eyecatches are a little TMI. BWH measurements are for the dudes who watch for PLOT, but dream job? Yeah, for a card game, TMI.

Lemme guess…these PC/shogi gals will recruit Subaru, Miki and Haruka. As much as I’d say I’d like to side with the PC and shogi girls though, I can’t feel a reason to like ‘em at all. They’re not characterised enough for me to care about them.

What’s up with the red on that replanting girl’s hair?

That cut between Ms President in Chinese library and the magical girl battle really confused me for a second there.

I don’t get how Urara’s microphone/staff works…

When I checked up this show earlier, it said Sugitan was the teacher in glasses here. It disappoints me that his name is saddled on to something so confusing.

Now that I squint at the eye designs, these guys are trying to be Love Live. Knowing how popular that is just makes this pale in comprison all the more, even though I actively dislike Love Live.

It’s an unsaid rule of battling that whoever strikes first loses. Just sayin’.

There’s no precedent for how well these girls performed in the past, so a flashback would’ve done well this ep.

I knew hooded person was a girl (there are no boys in this show), but I didn’t know what her intentions were. Even knowing what they were made it really obvious this show was subpar, because she has little to no intentions at all at the moment.

They introduce another girl to fill up an already full cast? Yeah, nah.

…Yeah, that’s a clean drop. The magical girl outfits are the only good looking things about this.

Keppeki Danshi! Aoyama-kun 1

This is an odd choice for me, but I’m just waiting for shows (other than Katsugeki) to come on to the scene…Then again, I played soccer (because I was forced to do a sport at one point, and Detective Conan has a soccer aspect to it). I’m not up to snuff on soccer rules, but…*shrugs*

I think they’re trying to get a Sakamoto vibe going here. So far, it isn’t working…

LOL. “Team Aoyama”, indeed.

The chibi face thing is reminiscent of Royal Tutor. Royal Tutor’s style is more jarring, but it works in that show’s favour more.

So what glasses man is saying is that if Aoyama were Lady Macbeth, he’d hate himself too much…ouch.

The butt guy is weird…

The soccer ball “…” worked well. Yhe artstyle for this one is clean and fairly attractive too, which works in its favour. (However, unless you like dudes in soccer uniforms or that one guy in the OP with the abs, then…yeah, this ain’t hottie territory.)

“Richie Rich”? I’m not sure that was in the Japanese, but okay.

Miwa’s great, man. Best coach I think I’ll ever see in a show like this, and that’s ‘cos I haven’t seen many of these sports shows.

Wowee, keppeki has some nasty-looking kanji! Fun facts: The zai in Kaoru’s surname is the same as in zaibatsu, and bocchan is “young master” (as used by, say, a butler to a distinguished family’s child – it’s used to Suguro in Blue Exorcist, as he’s part of a high ranking religious family).

Umm…what’s the name of the guy who got rejected by his girlfriend Anya in YOI? Georgi! This rich kid who wants to steal away Aoyama looks like Georgi!

I…don’t think I’ve ever heard a person being called a “scrub” prior to this. Apparently, it’s old fashioned slang, which is why the word suits Takechi.

Zaizen = Kamina (Gurren Lagann)??? They certainly have the “hot blooded” bit down pat.

Yeah…Takechi. I’m with Aoyama on this one. I like abs, but not yours.

The CGI is bad, but more well integrated than, say, Battle Girl’s Irous...es? Irous? (I dunno about the plural on that.)

As I said before, I’m not up to scratch on soccer terms. So a nutmeg was a “through the legs” kick (apparently known in Japanese as “crotch punching”, LOL!) and a rabona is the crossing leg thing Aoyama did.

One touch. (Chorus in back: ONE PUNCH!)

Uh, I think the ab brandish and “treasure” emphasis was a Japanese pun, but I have the volume off so I can’t tell.

Marking.

That sky shot was be-a-u-ti-ful! That is, before the soccer cleat got in the way of it…

I have the feeling Aoyama came for the white uniform?...I dunno why, though. White is hard to keep clean.

D-Does the number 10 have any special significance? *checks it up* Yeah, it does.

Oh man, Takechi talks to his abs (as well as to his friends)? This guy is becoming the death knell for this show. I know it’s meant to be funny, but it’s even weirder than the butt guy, and that says something.

The…toilet? That was one joke that was absolutely not worth the payoff.

I don’t get this Hajime no Ippo style…or maybe, because this is a comedy manga, they’re making a homage to the Hajime no Ippo style as a parody. Ahh, that makes sense now!

I’m gonna drop this. Not because it’s bad, mind you – it’s because I get confused between soccer and football (I’m from a place where “soccer” and “football” are different things), plus I don’t get soccer injokes.

Youkai Apato 1

I call this “Youkai Apato” because its full name is too long to remember…haha. This is here because of Morose Mononokean, which didn’t do too badly last year. I thought Yushi was butt ugly, but hopefully something’ll make my stay worth it.

I’m not a person who wants to become a businessman, but hey, if you can sell me the businessman life (or the youkai life) with this show, I’ll be all set!

Who dis (dude with the long hair in OP that looks like Hase)? I want him, even though I mistook him for Hase at first.

The –sou in Kotobuki-sou means “villa” or something like that. That’s why the word for “summer house” isn’t “summer house” in katakana, but rather two kanji that represent a “separate villa”…I guess…?

Scratch the Morose Mononokean references, this is more Kamisama Kiss.

I’ve noticed Maeda Realty’s second last and third last kanji are kanji for “movement” and “not” respectively…so I find the Japanese name for it, however it’s pronounced, really ironic (because Yushi wants to move, so to speak, but moving house as a verb would be hikkosu in Japanese).

Reimei Isshiki seems to be an exclusive to this show, so hopefully this show will use its author character well (knew he’d be a speaking character judging from how he needed voice credits). By the by, based on how Yushi describes Isshiki, it seems this author’s a lot like the one for Goat’s Egg (Tokyo Ghoul).

*screams incoherently* Can’t I have my fantasy of Yushi not being a darned harem protag? The way he acts around Akine, I ain’t getting it, even though my fantasy is the truth!

What an adorable dango. It’s got a rice grain texture on it (normally dango don’t have that, as you can see here).

These round blue birds I keep seeing in this show are so cute!

I applaud whoever made the backgrounds for this show. Dang, they are good.

A bath in the basement doesn’t sound too good for ventilation purposes, but that’s just speaking out of practicality. This is anime, we can get people having baths in jacuzzis on rooftops for all we care…

The landlord kinda looks like the creatures from ep 1 of Flip Flappers! Yipes!

These birds are too gosh darn adorable! *fangirl screams*

The zombie really wasn’t much of a threat…

Ooh, there’s a guy I like (redhead in ED)! I want him, too! B-But long-haired Hase…I want…

Well, it seems like long-haired Hase’ll be here next ep, so I’ll keep the show for now. If it gets a lil’ too much with the stating the obvious, then it’ll go on the drop pile.

Isekai Shokudou 1

I just ate, so…I’m not gonna be drooling here, am I? Just by the name it sure seems I will be. Well, why am I here? It seems Re:Creators is not the only reverse isekai happening this season, and because Amazon, I have to settle with this instead.

The font around the titlecard seems to be katakana, just flipped/reflected for some characters.

Seishu is apparently another name for sake.

I love how they don’t need names - they just call each other the names of the food they’re eating.

Wait, if these guys come from fantasy worlds, then they have to pay with fantasy currency, right? That’s problematic…as anyone who’s stuck overseas with their home country’s money will tell you.

Oh gosh…the boob jiggle was completely unnecessary…

I presume the contents of the pot was more beef stew, but I can’t be sure until I’ve been shown it. Why do I always feel like there will be something more suspenseful or action-like in this? Because of the fight about what suits white rice best?...Yeah, that’s probably it.

What is “knight’s sauce”???

I thought Aletta was a centaur, like Himeno (of this season’s A Centaur’s Worries). Turns out she’s a demon…

I may not be an expert on food (I watch Masterchef for the drama, LOL), so I’ll need Google to find out what corn potage is…There’s a great description of corn potage here, if you’re not familiar with it.

If I could understand more about the chef, then maybe I’d be behind this show a bit more. There’s always the backstory of the chef involved in these shows, since cooking, like anime, is a personal experience.

What’s that on the right of the tomatoes?

The breakfast special is called “morning” in katakana, which…I’ve never heard of until now. I thought “baiking = buffet” was the weirdest Japanese food concept I’d ever come across, prior to this…

I think they’re trying to go the moe route with Aletta. Moe never worked on me, people. Remember that.

14 hours on one day? I guess that’s not so demanding for a full time job, but I was a bit alarmed by it for a second since I’ve only ever dealt with part time jobs, haha. Well, it’s like the chef said – it must be pretty rough for Aletta if she’s not used to it.

Gratuitous shower scene irks me a little. A show like this should focus on what it does best and not something more or something less. I mean, this time it makes sense in context, but fanservice ruined Izetta and Matoi for me previously…so this is a bad sign.

LOL, men’s body wash…or shampoo…or something. Couldn’t really read it.

Where did this outfit come from? Is there an existing staff member that’s the same size as Aletta?

I feel like they shouldn’t have cut out Aletta’s training day. That way, there would’ve been more love for Aletta – which is what the staff seem to want. Sure, it would’ve shoved some other things out of the way, but Aletta seems like a main character, so…

My instinct says this is a dish best binged and devoured with actual food, so let’s go with that. I’m quite open to dropping it though, because it has somewhat skewed priorities in a few places.