#I mean I’m still definitely watching F them reviews

[gravity-knight]

Ok so I heard there would be a continuation/season 2 of stay with me

I paid no mind because I didn’t think it would happen. But the show was great and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little happy to hear that we’d get more.

But now I’m hearing it’s been cancelled? So what is the truth? Was a season 2 ever confirmed to begin with? Is it actually cancelled? Am I late to this ‘news’?

And bad reviews for new season of Zettai BL?

😭

[marblemoonstones]

🩵 catharsis ~ chapter five

main masterlist

series masterlist

pairing: bts ot7 x reader

genre: collegestudentreader!au 

warnings: ❗️any characters in the story have nothing to do with their real life counterparts❗️f reader, reader with glasses, use of the word ‘damn’ (lol don’t know if that counts as a curse word, but i’ll still put it as a warning)

word count: ~ 3.6k

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Now that Hoseok and I aren’t completely enemies, I notice that the boys are happier. I know they’re happy that we’re getting along, and I’ll admit that I’m also happier. I no longer feel super awkward around Hoseok, and he then tells me to call him ‘Hobi.’ A giant step, if I do say so myself. 

The school year drags goes on, and I throw myself deep into piles of homework and semi-late nights. If I’m not doing homework, I lie on my bed and binge k-dramas, usually falling asleep while watching. 

It’s another normal Wednesday, and I’m walking to class when I hear a voice call out behind me, “Y/n! Wait up!”

I turn and see Jungkook and…Taehyung? What’s he doing here? I thought that he had a shoot today. He is going to showcase his new line of clothes, which he calls ‘Reflection.’ I saw a couple of his sketches and they were gorgeous formal gowns.

I turn around.

“What’s up…Tae why are you here? I thought that you had a shoot today.” 

“That’s…why…I’m…here…” Tae pants, tired from running. 

“What TaeTae here is trying to say is that yes, there is a shoot today, and yes, we need you to model in it! Our model is sick, so our first thought was you!” 

I’m shocked. Me? A model? I may not hate my appearance, but I’m still human and am insecure about being in front of a camera. 

“Me? No way. You’re funny. I can’t model!” 

“Why not? You’re gorgeous and perfect for the role.” Taehyung says, not panting anymore.

My cheeks flame, and I say quietly, “Girls with glasses can’t be models.” 

I’ve seen many different models on ads and online, and while there is diversity and inclusion, I almost never see models with glasses. (author here-I agree with this and think that there should be more models with glasses. the only celeb that I can think of is actress anna cathcart. love her so much!!) I love my glasses, but sometimes I feel like there are so many stereotypes around people with glasses. I don’t feel comfortable with contacts, so I’ve embraced the beauty of wearing glasses.

After I say this, both boys frown at my answer.

“What do you mean?” Jungkook asks me. 

“You know…there aren’t many models with glasses. I’m definitely not fit for this role. You should try to find someone else, like Hwasa.”

“But we want you, y/n. That’s why we’re here. Please won’t you come? If you absolutely don’t feel comfortable, no pressure. But we could use you.” 

I hate making quick decisions, as I like to plan out the outcomes of each choice and then decide. I guess today’s a day for being spontaneous because I cave after seeing Jungkook and Taehyung’s puppy eyes.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

They cheer. 

“Yes! C’mon, let’s go!” They start walking to the car.

I follow behind them, my class forgotten. Oh well. Today was only a review day, and I can do it online later so it’ll be fine. 

My brain starts racing, the thought of not being good enough crossing it often. I’ve never even modeled before! I have no clue what I’m doing. 

I sit in the backseat, trying to calm my nerves. Eventually we reach a grand looking building with gorgeous pillars. 

“Wow…it’s beautiful,” I marvel, staring at the vintage yet ornate detailing.

“Yeah it is…now we’ve got to go! We’re already behind schedule,” Taehyung urges. 

Us three rush inside, where there’s a grand staircase and a ballroom to the right. Both are filled with people rushing around. Stylists, hair and makeup people, producers, etc. Taehyung is talking to a woman who looks professional and serious with a headset. She nods, and then gestures for me to follow her.

“Go with Sasha! She’s my assistant and she’ll take you to hair and makeup!” 

I rush after Sasha, trying to keep up with her long strides. There’s a hair and makeup crew set up in a smaller room off into the corner. 

Sasha pops her head in and says, “Here’s the new model. Same look as planned and make it quick.” She then spins on her heel and walks away.

The stylists put me in a chair and have me take my glasses off. There are expensive makeup palettes and high-end hair products everywhere. They make quick work of me, and I try to stay as still as possible. My hair is being curled and put up in a half-up style. 

Finally, they tell me to put my glasses back on. I do, and am stunned by how I look. Deep red eyeshadow with a hint of gold sparkle and matching lip make me look sophisticated and my glasses showcase the eye makeup. My hair is bouncy from the curls and they put it into a simple half-up style with a small gold clip and pieces of my hair framing my face. I have never felt more beautiful. 

“Wow, thank you. You all did such an amazing job!” I repeat over and over to them. 

They all smile sheepishly and wave it off, saying “It’s our job!” 

Sasha comes back, and nods her approval, then rushes me off to wardrobe. The wardrobe woman put me in a stunning wine-colored dress that’s off the shoulder and has drapes of fabric around my shoulders. The waist has subtle gold detailing, and the skirt is full and loose around my gold heels (think ballgown). Gloves that match hit me slightly above the elbow, and I feel like a princess. I cannot believe that Taehyung designed this. 

Sasha comes yet again, but this time we’re going to start the shoot. As she leads me out to the grand staircase, I see Tae with a worried look on his face. But, as soon as he sees me, it melts into an awestruck smile. 

“Y/n…you look absolutely perfect. That dress was made for you!” 

“I can’t believe you designed this Tae, it’s so beautiful,” I say, smoothing my skirt down, looking at the glamorous design.

“It’s not the design but the person wearing it,” Taehyung says, still looking at me. 

“Hate to break this up, but we need to get started. Let’s get some solo shots before we include Jungkook,” Sasha interrupts. 

Jungkook? What’s he doing? Is he a model too? 

“Okay, y/n, go up to the staircase and place your hand on it and gaze out into the distance,” Taehyung orders, switching to full on director mode.

I do as he says, and try not to feel awkward as there are so many people watching and making adjustments to the hot lights and my dress. 

“Perfect…” says the photographer, taking many photos. 

“Great, now walk slowly down with your hand still on the railing and look slightly above my head with that same gaze.”

I try to do as Tae says, but he shakes his head at me. “You’re too stiff, loosen up a bit. Go up and try again.” 

I do, trying not to feel like he’s disappointed in me. After multiple tries, me getting frustrated every time we have to start over, we finally get the shots that Taehyung wants.

After what seems like forever, we move on to the next style. I change into a black ballgown with capped sleeves and more long elbow length gloves and real diamonds on the skirt. My makeup is changed to a subtle smoky eye and bright red lip. Hair now upswept in a chignon, a detailed diamond headpiece rests heavily on my head. I feel like a Hollywood starlet.

“Okay! After Jungkook’s ready, we’ll start.” 

I learned that Jungkook is going to be a model with me, as we’re going to do ‘romantic partner shots,’ which is what Sasha calls it. 

I wait impatiently, the black heels hurting my feet and my head heavy with diamonds. It’s also late afternoon now, and I just want to change and go eat. 

Jungkook finally shows, dressed in a classic tuxedo. I’ll admit, he looks like a fairytale prince. 

“Let’s go over the windows and get some shots with the sun streaming in,” Taehyung instructs. 

He then positions us in a class ‘romantic looking into each other’s eyes’ pose, with Kook’s left arm around my waist and my left hand holding the dress out slightly. 

I gulp as I stare into Jungkook’s big doe eyes. He’s so damn handsome, and I don’t feel that I deserve to be next to him. 

He winks at me, and I swear I turn into a tomato. But, we have to continue holding our gaze until finally, Taehyung says we can move on. 

The next pose is where Jungkook dips me. I’ll admit, this one is really fun to do. We have to do it may times, and each time I find myself falling harder into Jungkook’s eyes. 

Taehyung says that he has one more idea and turns on instrumental music. 

“Okay, for this last one I want you guys to waltz to the music. This will create more candid shots, so let’s start!” 

Great. There’s only one problem with that.

“Jungkook,” I hiss under my breath, “I have no clue how to waltz.” 

“I thought you were a dancer?” He asks me in a whisper. 

“I do contemporary dance! Not ballroom dancing.” I laugh nervously, wondering how we’re going to pull this off.

“Just follow my lead,” Jungkook says, starting to step with me slowly. 

I do as he says, and after stepping on his toes a couple times we fall into a rhythm. Soon the music fades away and all I can focus on is Jungkook. His handsome features, kind nature, soft smile…oh no. I like Jungkook. 

And then I stumble.

“Y/n! Are you okay?” Jungkook asks me worriedly, and I just nod, too dazed with my feelings to respond in words.

“Are you sure?” Tae asks me as well, concerned look on his face. 

“I’m fine guys, really,” I assure them. 

“Okay, well we got all the shots that we needed, so you’re both free to leave! I have to stay here for a while, though,” Taehyung says, still in director mode. 

“Don’t be so serious Tae! But you’d better come home before midnight because otherwise Joon-hyung will be mad at you,” Jungkook says, going to kiss Taheyung’s cheek. 

“Okay okay Kook. I’ll probably be back by seven tonight, so don’t worry,” Taehyung laughs, going back to the person I know. 

“Good. I love you,” Jungkook says, rubbing his nose against Tae’s. 

“Love you too my little bunny,” Taehyung teases.

“Hey! I told you not to call me that!” 

~ 

Jungkook and I change and I take off the heavy makeup, then we head home. I run my fingers through my hair, happy to have it loose and free again instead. 

But as I get into the passenger seat, I can feel myself getting irritated with my feelings. God y/n, why do you like someone who’s taken? How do you get yourself into these situations? 

“Hey y/n, you ok?” Jungkook’s voice brings me out of my thoughts. 

“Oh! Yeah I’m fine, I’m just tired from the shoot,” I say, only half-lying. 

“Yeah, the first couple shoots are pretty exhausting, but you did great for someone who’s never modeled before!” Jungkook praises.

I feel myself blush again. Why do I always blush at the most simple compliments? Oh wait, it’s because I like Jungkook. 

“Thanks Kook,” I say, trying to not feel the sweat coursing through my body.

“Joon asked us if we could pick up pizza, so I placed the order while we were at the shoot,” Jungkook explains as we start going a different route.

“Just how many pizzas did you order?” I ask, knowing that their appetites are huge. 

“Seven.” 

“Seven?” I ask, surprised. But I shouldn’t be, because I know that the boys could probably each eat their own pizza.

“Yeah, Tae won’t eat with us so everyone gets their own!” Jungkook cheers as we pull into the pizza place.

“I’m not even sure that I can eat a whole pizza,” I admit, thinking of the greasy slices.

“It’s okay, leftovers!” Jungkook exclaims. 

“Okay leftovers boy, let’s go,” I say, laughing at his enthusiasm. 

We step into the pizza place and the smell immediately makes my stomach growl. Jungkook goes to the counter and says that he has a pick-up order, and after a minute seven fresh boxes come out. I carry three and Kook carries four. 

We stack the boxes in my lap, and I can barely see over them. 

“We’re almost there y/n,” Jungkook says, chuckling at my wide-eyed expression. 

After a little bit we reach home. 

Jungkook parks then opens my door for me, taking all of the pizza boxes. 

I try to take some back but he waves me off, saying “You held them all the way home!”

Stepping through the garage door I yell out, “Pizza!” 

Namjoon immediately puts down his laptop on the coffee table and comes to help us. We set up the boxes on the counter. 

Yoongi slowly appears from the studio with Jin and Hobi comes out of the dance studio.

“Where’s Jimin?” I ask, noticing that he’s the only one missing.

“He’s upstairs I think,” Jin responds.

“I’ll go get him,” I say, starting up the stairs.

“Thanks y/n!” Joon calls.

I go straight to Jimin’s room, thinking that he’s taking a nap. 

“Jimin it’s time for-“ 

I freeze as I open the door. There, standing without a shirt on is Jimin. He has sweats on that dip dangerously low and his abs are gorgeous. He looks like an angel.

“Time for what, y/n?” Jimin asks, his voice slightly lower than normal.

“Um…time….for…” I trail off, averting my eyes. I’m turning red for the second time in one day. First Jungkook now Jimin!

“Like what you see?” Jimin asks with a smirk. 

An angel? No, he’s a devil.

“No…” I stammer out, trying to burn the image out of my mind. 

In the end, I just turn around abruptly and say in the way out, “Dinner’s ready! And please put on a shirt…” 

The last part makes him laugh as I shut the door behind me. I groan silently and put my hands on my head. This is not what I needed. Jungkook in a tux and Jimin shirtless is a double threat of hotness. 

Damn it. 

I also like Jimin. 

I can’t like both of them! This is a problem. I can’t like boys that have boyfriends! And I don’t even think that they like girls! Wait, Hwasa said that they did. Does that mean they all do? But I can’t like them! They’re strictly off limits! 

Too many questions run through my brain and somewhere in there I make a mental note to text Hwasa later and see what she says. 

I walk downstairs and bring myself to focus on the meal. Jimin’s abs-no, pizza. 

We sit down with our pizzas and Jimin comes sauntering down a minute later, now wearing a shirt. I just stare at my pizza slice. 

“Hey everyone!” He says, looking straight at me, a small smirk still on his face.

“Hi Jiminie!”

“Hey Chim.”

“Come sit down!”

He sits and we all dig in. The boys chat about their day and we eventually get to the topic of the photoshoot today. 

“Yeah, you guys should’ve seen y/n! She was such a pro even though it was her first time,” Jungkook gushes.

“That’s impressive y/n,” Yoongi says quietly amid the other compliments.

I smile and thank them.

“The dresses were so stunning. I can’t believe that Taehyung designed them,” I say, trying to divert the conversation to something else.

“Yeah, that’s our Tae. He’s always had such an eye for art. Just like Joon over here,” Hobi says, “Joon loves to go to museums for hours in the afternoon.” 

“Really? That’s cool. Who’s your favorite artist?” I ask Namjoon, surprised at hearing this.

“One of my favorites is J.M.W. Turner. His art is so beautiful and serene to look at. But I also like any kind of art, including music, fashion, etc.” Namjoon explains.

“Jin’s a cook, Yoongi’s a music producer, Jiminie and Hobi are dancers, Tae’s a fashion designer, and Kook is a cinematography major. You really found the right people!” I exclaim, thinking about how all of their careers are artistic, except maybe Namjoon’s. But, I think that teaching is also an art in its own way.

“I really did. I’m so lucky to have found them and-“

“Why am I the only one who doesn’t have a nickname?” Yoongi interrupts with a frown.

Jimin laughs at Yoongi, saying “I thought you didn’t like nicknames hyung!”

“Well…if i’m the only one without one I feel left out!” Yoongi complains.

I smile at his pout and decide to think of a nickname.

“What if I call you Yoodles?” I ask.

“Like noodles?” Jungkook asks, chortling.

“Yoodles is cute!” I argue defensively. 

“Okay, Yoodles it is,” Jin says, trying to break up the giggles and arguing currently going on.

“You’re the only one allowed to call me that, y/n,” Yoongi states, ignoring the boys’ “Hey!” “Why?” and “Not fair!”

“Sounds good Yoodles.” I try it out and see a gummy smile appear on Yoongi’s face. 

“Aww, y/n you made him smile!” Jimin teases, then sees Yoongi’s smile turn into a glare at him. 

“Now you made him mad!” I shake my head in fake disappointment. 

“Yeah Jimin, you made me mad,” Yoongi pouts cutely. 

“Alright guys, that’s enough. Just eat your pizza!” Jin complains again, although he’s looking fondly at the boys.

They comply and finish their whole pizzas. Meanwhile, I can only eat about six pieces before I feel stuffed. 

“Hey y/n, are you going to eat the rest of your pizza?” Namjoon asks me sheepishly.

“No, want my last two pieces?” I ask, giving the two slices to the beaming man.

“Thanks y/n!” His dimple pops out when he thanks me.

After doing the dishes we pile into the living room to watch a movie. Tae is home by now, tired but happy. 

Jungkook wanted to do a movie marathon, but then remembered that everyone has work/school the next day. 

Arguing over a movie takes a couple minutes, until we spin a wheel to determine who gets to choose. Jin wins so we watch Frozen. 

I look to where to sit, trying to avoid Jungkook and Jimin at any costs. The only spot that’s open is…in between Jungkook and Jimin. They must have planned this. Damn it. 

I reluctantly sink into the seat between them, trying to ignore their gazes. The movie starts, and the song at the beginning comes on.

Everything is fine for a bit, and I find myself slowly relaxing more into the cushions. Until ‘Do You Want to Build A Snowman?’ comes on. 

Jungkook suddenly leans down and starts singing the song slowly into my ear. His angelic voice is mesmerizing and I try not to shiver. I accidentally meet his gaze and my eyes widen at the look in his. Those beautiful eyes know what they’re doing. After the song he turns his attention back to the movie, satisfied with his attempt to fluster me. 

I also turn my attention back to the movie, trying to cool down from that encounter. It only semi-works because next thing I know, Jimin lays his head down on my left shoulder. His pink hair is fluffy and I can see his perfect skin shine. I swallow as Jimin starts to close his eyes, seemingly falling asleep. Great. Now I have an angel on my shoulder and the devil to my right. I stay stiff throughout the rest of the movie because of Jimin. 

After the movie finishes, the boys start to head up to bed. Jin is the first to leave, barely sparing anyone a glance as he heads upstairs. Yoongi gives me an amused smile at my situation and I roll my eyes as he too gets up. Hobi and Taehyung go together and soon it’s just me, Jungkook, Namjoon, and a sleeping Jimin. 

“Y/n, let me get Chim off of you so you can go sleep,” Namjoon says tiredly, looking at the bubblegum-haired boy on my shoulder.

“Or you could just sleep down here and not wake up Jiminie,” Jungkook suggests sneakily.

“Jungkook, you are not going to make y/n sleep down here on the couch when she has class tomorrow,” Namjoon says as sternly as he can.

“But hyung, Jimin looks so comfortable!” Jungkook whines.

I contemplate my choices. Go up to my nice bed or stay down here with Chim. I guess one night wouldn’t hurt, and Jimin looks so peaceful on my shoulder.

“I guess I can stay here tonight…” I say, eyes averted to the floor.

“Y/n, you don’t have to do that. Really. It’s okay.” Namjoon is protesting but I can see the exhaustion in his eyes.

“It’s okay Joon, just go up to bed. I’ll lay down here with Jimin and it’ll be fine for one night. Go to sleep. You have class tomorrow,” I urge Namjoon, happy to see him comply and shuffle up to bed. 

“Goodnight y/n. Sleep well,” Jungkook says as he leaves, turning off the light. 

The moonlight seeps in through the curtains and I gaze at Jimin’s serene face. I sigh softly, then gently maneuver us so that we’re both lying on the couch. Jimin stays asleep and before I close my eyes, I can’t resist giving a soft kiss to his forehead.

Goodnight Jimin. 

a/n: hey y’all, updates are probably going to be slow because i am so busy right now!! i mostly write on the weekends. much love and hope you enjoyed reading! 🫶🏼🩷

[scratchybongvt]

MASCOTS SPELLING BEE! (Sidemascots 1.10)

Starring…

THE SIDEMASCOTS!

Vinicius: Season 1! But first…

THE POLL RESULTS!

Sumi: After 24 grueling hours of voting, we recieved…

Vinicius: 5 votes!

Sumi: I was going to say 50,000 votes…

Vinicius: Stop multiplying votes for no reason!

(The candidates laughed.)

Sumi: Anyway, light up your firework! If it’s red, you’re dropped! If it’s green, you’re PICKED! It’s like a gender reveal Miga always want to do.

Vinicius: Ettie, you are…

(@crackheadfromsainsburys runs towards Ettie and hit her Phrygian cap with a baseball bat)

Crackhead: UNSELECTED!

Sumi: What?

Vinicius: Well we could have say she’s selected, but instead…

(Lights up Ettie’s firework, which reveals to be red)

Vinicius: She’s DROPPED!

Crackhead: JUSTICE!

Sumi: Ahem, Tazuni, you are…

(Tazuni lights up her firework, which is also red)

Sumi: DROPPED!

Tazuni: Us women’s World Cup mascots never get the respect we deserve mate…

Borobi: I still love you mate!

Vinicius: That Asian Unicorn (I don’t know why the locals call him that), you are…

(Saola’s firework is obviously red)

Vinicius: DROPPED!

Sumi: Just like Vietnam in their World Cup qualifying campaign.

Saola: SO IS CHINA!

Sumi: Fair point. Clyde, you are…

Clyde: Dropped, surprise, surprise… Us scots never get the respect we deserve…

Vinicius: Oh, uh… you’re right.

Sumi: Which means only La’eeb and Mandeville is remaining!

Vinicius: How about you two light up your fireworks at the same time?

(La’eeb and Mandeville stared menacingly, then lighted up their respective fireworks, which reveals one red and one green)

Sumi: Ooh… pretty.

Vinicius: Who got green?!

Mandeville: CHECK VAR, CHECK VAR!

OC IV: VAR review in progress…

La’eeb: Don’t worry, I’ve paid…

OC IV: Check complete! Mandeville is picked!

Mandeville: YES! SEE YOU AROUND, SOMEITY!

OC IV: Sorry La’eeb, you can’t bribe video assistant referees.

La’eeb: BULLSHIT!

Sumi: Uhhh, what episode are we doing?

Vinicius: Oh yeah, I almost forgot…

Mascot Spelling Bee!

With your host… Coal!

Coal: Right, rules are simple… spell a word, get a point! The mascot with the most points gets an Amazon gift card!

Wenlock: BOOOOOOOOOORING!

Coal: The mascot with the least points gets KICKED OUT THE SHOW!

Sumi: Most of them don’t have English as their first language, so if an event multiple people gets zeros, who will get eliminated?

Coal: Then we’ll do what the World Cup organizers do whenever there’s an unbreakable tie… a drawing of lots!

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOH!

Burke: I’m stealing a four leaf clover!

Vinicius: Not so fast!

(Everyone races to get their lucky charm)

Coal: Oh…

[Technical difficulties]

Vinicius

Coal: Vinicius, your word is… Phrygian Cap!

Vinicius: Phrygian cap?!

Coal: Do I need to read the definition?

Vinicius: Go on.

Coal: A wearable object on their head, formerly used by the French to show off their liberty.

Vinicius: That doesn’t help!

(Everyone laughed)

Vinicius: Alright, here I go… F…

(Coal presses the buzzer)

Vinicius: WHAT?! It has an F sound!

Coal: It’s P-H-R-Y-G-I-A-N, cap.

(Everyone laughed)

Sumi: Come on, I know what a Phrygian cap is, it’s the one Marianne wears in this painting!

Vinicius: I don’t remember Marianne wearing bras.

Sumi: No, I drew it myself. I don’t want this video to be demonetized.

(Everyone laughed)

Coal: Zero!

Sumi

Coal: Sumi, your word is… Inuksuk!

Sumi: Inuksuk?! I’m from BC! Watch and learn! I-n-u-k-s-u-k!

Coal: Correct, wow…

Sumi: Or i-n-u-k-s-h-u-k!

Coal: Also correct! Wow…

Burke: So much for someone indigenous…

Borobi: I’m indigenous too mate!

Coal: Next one, Miga is blind, apologize to her now or Mukmuk will smash you!

Sumi: it’s not a word, it’s a sentence!

Coal: Exactly! Ever since Sidemascots 1.1 you did not apologize to her for forcing her to watch your shit YouTube videos! And now it’s 1.10!

Burke: 1.1 and 1.10 is the same value.

Vinicius: Hey! We hate maths!

(Generously illustrated by @lettucecookiebrainrot7. If you want to illustrate one segment, a whole episode even, of the Sidemascots, DM me!)

(Mukmuk holds a miniature rifle)

Sumi: Woah oh… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Coal: Classic. One point!

Burke

Coal: First one, Cristiano Ronaldo!

Burke: Are you trying to piss me off? C-r-i-s-t-i-a-n-o R-o-n-a-l-d-o.

Coal: How about Brisbane Roar?

Burke: B-r-i-s-b-a-n-e R-o-a-r.

Borobi: Shit, he got over that FC25 game I’ve played with him.

Coal: How about the Atlanta Falcons?

Burke: I QUIT!

Coal: You can’t quit!

Burke: I can and I just did. COLLEGE FOOTBALL GALORE!

Coal: Two points.

Miraitowa

Coal: Miraitowa, Spell Dotonburi.

Miraitowa: In Japanese characters or romanized?

Coal: Romanized. I don’t read manga.

(Everyone laughed)

Miraitowa: D-o-t-o-n-b-u-r-i.

Coal: Correct! Next one, ahem, pronounce Aokigahara.

Burke: Come on, it’s so obvious!

Miraitowa: There is no way I’m doing something that is linked with a canceled YouTuber!

Burke: Me?

Wenlock: No, Logan Paul.

Miraitowa: I’ll take one point. That’s better than none.

Vinicius: Shit.

Wenlock

Coal: Wenlock, spell Llanfair.

Wenlock: L-l-a-n-f-a-i-r-p-w-l-l-g-w-n-g-w-l-l… oh my, it’s been a long time since I have a trip to Wales…

Coal: Fail!

Wenlock: Knew it.

Coal: Zero points!

Vinicius: Come on four-leaf clover… do your thing.

Mandeville

Coal: Welcome to the Sidemascots Mandeville!

Mandeville: Hope I won’t be as pissed as Wenlock…

Coal: Llanfair.

Mandeville: I QUIT!

Vinicius: Oh no, I think we’ll potentially have one Sidemascots member who got hired and fired on THE SAME DAY.

Wenlock: It’s like an average Premier League manager!

(Everyone laughed)

Coal: Zero.

Borobi

Coal: Borobi, your word is… Yugambeh!

Borobi: Definition please mate?

Coal: Definition: an Aboriginal Australian people of Southeast Queensland and the Northern rivers of New South Wales.

Borobi: Well according to MY dictionary, it’s an Aboriginal Aussie people who’s at the verge of extinction until Borobi saves them.

Coal: Disqualified for using the dictionary!

Everyone: BOROBI!

Borobi: Oh… sorry mate.

Coal: Zero points.

Sumi: Another name in the pot.

Tina

Coal: Tina, your word is… Manchester!

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOH!

Tina: Manchester? M-a-n-c-h-e-s-t-e-r!

Vinicius: Shit.

Coal: How about the great city of Istanbul?

Tina: I-s-t-a-n-b-u-l.

Sumi: Double shit!

Coal: How about…

Tina: Madrid?

Coal: No, Lakaka.

Tina: I QUIT!

(Everyone laughed)

Vinicius: Wait a minute, Tina, how do you get over that Istanbul PTSD?

Tina: We tied against Manchester City away from home in this season’s Champions League!

Vinicius and Sumi: Ohhhhhhh…

Sumi: Shit.

Vinicius: What about Lakaka?

Tina: Lakaka? (spits) Belgian B**ch!

Wenlock: To be honest, she isn’t the first one to be mad at Lakaka…

(Everyone laughed)

Coal: Two points.

Honohon

Coal: Whoever you are…

Honohon: Whoever I am?! Asian Games mascots are the most underrated type of mascots in the world!

(Everyone laughed)

Coal: Your word is… Mashle!

Honohon: Mashle?!

Coal: It’s a mix of One Punch Man and Harry Potter, plus a legit theme song!

Honohon: Now singing Bling-bang-bang-bling-bang-bang-bling-bang-bang-born!

Coal: What?

Honohon and Miraitowa: Bling-bang-bang-bling-bang-bang-bling-bang-bang-born!

Coal: Stop!

Honohon and Miraitowa: Bling-bang-bang-bling-bang-bang-bling-bang-bang-born! To the next, to the 1番上!

Coal: Fail!

Honohon: What?!

Coal: It’s M-a-s-h-l-e. Not Bling-bang-bang-bling-bang-bang-bling-bang-bang-born!

Honohon: Shit.

Miraitowa: Don’t worry, this game is corrupt on purpose.

Someity: What has Mirai become…

Coal: Zero!

Someity

Someity: Am I allowed to choke anyone in this studio?

Vinicius: No.

Someity: Why not? I want to choke Miraitowa.

Miraitowa: Hey! We’re still friends!

Coal: Your word is… Meat lover!

Someity: I quit!

(Everyone laughed)

Sumi: Vegans!

(Someity breaks Sumi’s neck with her telekinesis)

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOH!

Miraitowa: Too far-

(Someity breaks Mirai’s neck too)

Honohon: Are you okay, Mirai?!

Miraitowa: someone… call me… an ambulance…

Someity: YOU’RE AN AMBULANCE!

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOH!

Sumi: Mirasome fell off quickly.

Coal: Zero!

The final scores

Coal: Burke and Tina gets one Amazon gift card each!

Tina: I’m sorry- I don’t shop online, I only go to my favorite club’s merchandise store.

Burke: Me too!

Coal: Oh. Vinicius, Wenlock, Mandeville, Honohon, Borobi, and Someity all have zero!

Burke: Wenlock, Mandeville and Borobi failed despite English is their first language? Losers!

Mandeville: Hey, we got sabotaged!

Wenlock: Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

Borobi: And I pulled out a dictionary!

Coal: Which means it’s time for a drawing of lots! 6 balls in the bowl…

Mandeville: I counted and it’s 7.

Coal: Oh, 7 pots in the bowl. (Picks up one at random then opens it) The person who will get kicked out the Sidemascots is…

(Vinicius, Wenlock, Mandeville, Honohon, Borobi, and Someity crossed their fingers)

Coal: Coal!

Vinicius, Wenlock, Mandeville, Honohon, Borobi, and Someity: COAL?!

Wenlock: That’s you!

Coal: Oh really?

Vinicius, Wenlock, Mandeville, Honohon, Borobi, and Someity: REALLY!

Vinicius: Imagine being so stupid you forgot your name.

(Everyone laughed)

Borobi: Wait a minute, who put Coal’s name in the pot mate?

OC IV: Me!

Everyone: WHAT?!

OC IV: I don’t want to start another sh*t poll. Everyone are safe!

Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

OC IV: Coal, on Sidemascots’ behalf, you’re banned for the rest of the season!

Coal: Why?!

OC IV: You said “mascots recover from worse injuries”, but since then Powder and the Phryges didn’t revive! And Miga hasn’t recovered from her visual impairment!

Coal: Who are the Phryges?

OC IV: Oh. You heard nothing. (backs out)

Coal: Oh.

OC IV: Try to overturn this ban you coyote b**ch! Just so you know, we have lawyers from Manchester.

Coal: oh, bugger…

THE SIDEMASCOTS!

Vinicius: Season 1!

Sumi: Hit like, share, repost, follow, rinse and repeat!

Vinicius: If you like this and have any ridiculous ideas, email us by clicking the “Sidemascots suggestions” button on this profile’s bio NOW!

Sumi: Make sure to also check out the Zoubidians vs. the Azizans, @sashley1912’s brand new cash-in!

Vinicius: Next episode? WHO CARES!

Sumi: Set the like and subscribe buttons to cook…

Vinicius: What?

Everyone: OR YOU’RE IN THE HOOK!

(lights dim)

Vinicius: That phrase AGAIN?

Sumi: What’s wrong?

Vinicius: It’s… *sigh* never mind…

Tom: HEY, WAIT FOR M-

[booksandwords]

Exchange of Power by Tricia Owens

Series: Juxtapose City, #8 Read time: 4 Days Rating: 5/5

The quote: "Don't die," Starr murmured against his lips. "It might have been okay before, when it was only about the sex between us. But not now, Darkness. I'm in too deep to lose you now." — Calyx Starr

Warnings: Read this book with caution. There are no warnings as to the true content. The Juxtapose City series contains multiple incidents of dubious consent, murder, drug use, torture, incest, oh and the occasional light blackmail.

😵🤯😘 And we are back to wtf just happened??? There is a lot to digest from the last maybe 20% of this. Game-changing events. Moments of just why. Sex as power is nothing new to Juxtapose City but some of how it is used here is... offputting maybe. We have new antagonists with differing motives and new relationships but it is still Black and Calyx against the world. Masochistic Black is back and I'm really not sure how I feel about that. The payoff to that in a way is that we get to see Calyx, the former whore, as what is possibly the strongest ace advocate in the city. As stated sex is power so in this world it really can mean next to nothing. It is good if maybe end heavy entry, lots of arc conclusions and full stops. It feels like a hark back to the original style of the series.

I'm writing this review nearly a year after I read the book, it is going to be largely dot points. These are just things to be remembered going forward and things that I appreciated.

I want to say that this starts off in Captain Dick's head. He doesn't appear much after that. But what we do get from that time with him is incredibly important. It is an explanation of what he's been doing all this time. F***er.

The title Exchange of Power is perfect, it doesn't make sense until the end. And I promise you it will make sense at the end. And at that point, it made me so emotional.

Masochistic Black and uber-possessive Starr both appear with more frequency in this than they have for a while, Starr is a possessive creature anyway but there is a scene in this that triggers him badly. And leads to an interesting moment of character clash. In a way that is near painful to read.

This has one of Parker's visions a strong and rather terrifying one. But I'm trying to figure out the context of it given the ending of the book. It feels like it is definitely going to come back later. (Parker)

Calyx was armed with a faze whip. He wanted to wrap it around Kard's nuts and repeatedly push the button. Hell, he wanted to stand on the button. — I mean given what Kard is doing with Black I don't blame him. (Calyx)

"I want to hitch my wagon to yours. I've heard rumors on the streets about what's on the horizon and I want to make sure I'm high enough up the food chain that I can make a difference when it happens." "You're talking war." — This is a clever play, for both of them. Sundhill has done his time as the villain de jour now he gets to be a half-valuable ally. And he will make a good ally in his own way. (Black and Sundhill)

Sundhill broke the kiss again to suck on his earlobe. "Agent Starr has his hand down his pants," he whispered. Black shuddered violently. "He likes watching us." Sundhill sounded smug. Black didn't care. The thought of Starr watching him prostitute himself to the Golden Wonder both shamed him and turned him on in the dirtiest of ways. — These two and Starr have the most messed up relationship. But there are some smart language choices here, Black referring to Sundhill as the Golden Wonder. (Sundhill and Black)

"You sure as hell didn't warn me you were going to do that! Did it slip your mind that Sundhill wasn't wearing a Bliss tab? I felt every fucking second of that man's lust for you, Darkness! I felt everything he felt when he was talking about fucking your face and ordering you around. My god, I need to scrub my brain out now because of that!" — This is Starr's reaction to the moments of the quotes before. Starr wasn't jealous so much as pissed and reacting as is only normal for someone (in particular a former sex worker who enjoyed it) who is in the middle of a sexual feedback loop. (Calyx)

"I know what you're doing," Calyx sobbed against his ear. "I won't let you do it. You're not using me to punish you. I get that you hate yourself for what you did to us, but that's where this ends. I'm not letting you turn this into something even uglier." "It already is!" — Calyx has a serious possessive streak that is on full display here and Black wants his masochistic itch scratched. This is the moment in which they both break. Black is punishing himself and using Starr and his love as a weapon. (Calyx and Black)

"If you want to hurt me, then hurt me." Black held out his wrists, tight together. "Cuff me and punish me. Make me scream and cry. Make yourself feel better. I deserve it, don't I? I've brought nothing but misery and suffering to your life. You're right. You can't trust me. Every other word out of my mouth is a lie. My name is a lie. You hate that about me so get some of your own back. I'll let you." — Black wants to be punished it's that streak again. I love how Calyx in all his glory decides to punish him. It is a moment of pure power for Calyx and something that Black needed.

It wasn't sex he wanted, but connection. Sex was poor glue for holding two people together. Having fucked a few hundred people, Calyx knew this better than most. — 😆 The former whore may just be the best ace advocate in this world. (Calyx)

"How can you love me this much? How can you forgive me? I'm nothing but a monster." Calyx groaned and hugged Black tighter. "Don't ask me questions like that, okay, sweetheart? You break my fucking heart." "I think you're trying to burst mine," — This is a moment of pure love between them. It almost broke me. Black is back in his dark near self-loathing points. (Black and Calyx)

"I love you, Parker. Fuck, I don't care if we're supposed to be on opposite sides of this war. I don't even care if I have to sit in the bunker and knit sweaters for you. I just—I won't let anyone tear us apart. Tell me what I have to do to keep you with me." — Is that the first time we've heard him vocalise his emotions? Love being the most important here. They've done all but never said the words. And there is such desperation here, Jake needs Parker at this point, more than he needs oxygen. (Jake)

2nd Quote: It hit him like paint thrown at a wall: reds and purple, anger and fear; blues and grays, violence and despair— "The fuck you've got my fucking back you fucker—" —green for Calyx's eyes, black for Black who screams and screams, and charcoal, gunpowder, and smoke— "—you don't know shit, you motherfu—" —pulling at his arm as Black screams and there's icy blue and Genesis-noPhoenix-noGenesis-noPhoenix is jumping at him and the explosion is yellows and oranges and somewhere there is green, green for Calyx's eyes as Black is screaming, screaming because of the red...I wanted this in here. — Parker

[satansaidmyturnintheh3llscape]

Everything Right/Wrong with Ninjago “Rise of the Serpentine” E9: The Royal Blacksmiths

Can’t wait to get flooded with hate comments from certain platforms for some of the things I say in this. This episode is gay as hell (and so am I); change my mind. Anyways, disclaimers: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s mainly intended for comedy.

Reblog, comment, like and/or follow for more!

- Theme ✅

- Why do the spikes stop before hitting the ground? Seems counter-productive ❌

- Yeah, no. There is no way Lloyd survives all of this. The only possible explanation would be - Idk - the world keeping him alive because he needs to fulfill some divine destiny or something, but it’s not like THAT would ever happen… ❌

- Also how does Lloyd get back to the Serpentine after this? His only path is blocked off by rocks ❌

- “His name was something like Dutch… no Clutch! Clutch Powers!” I understood that reference ✅

- Idk why but I hate the way that phone looks❌

- “There’s no such thing in Ninjago…” Wu says, as if Garmadon’s never lived in Ninjago?? ❌

- Wu has a katana strapped to his back yet still chooses to fight with whatever this thing is ^ ❌

- “What? You too good for the doorbell?… Use the bell, son!” I can’t f*cking breathe ✅

- Jay simply vibing to the music ✅

- “Is this why you came?” No, they already said they were here for the research paper ❌

- The way Jay got so excited to sing💀 ✅

- Also Kai and Zane just joining by instinct ✅

- “If my ears weren’t attached to my head they’d be running away!” Jeez dude chill

- “Kai: Love the energy, hate the hair.” This is exactly what I imagine runs through the mind of your average Kai stan

- “He’s worse than Sensei Wu!” At least he gives actual advice and pointers and is direct about them. That’s more than I remember Wu doing. ❌

- “Many professionals have dare try, but it’s never been successfully completed.” Why would someone create a dance move that even they couldn’t pull off??? ❌

- “It’s cuz Twinkle Toes here couldn’t deliver the goods,” Jay is a d!ck ❌

- Also, Jay VA appreciation ✅

- “I’m starting to think we can win this thing…” You’re a group of 4 teens who have a day to train and you’re going against teams of professionals that have been practicing for probably months now. In what world do you stand a chance? ❌

- Wait, why are they practicing outside now? ❌

- “Though we live in two different worlds, I still see good in your heart brother.” I love that Wu says this mere seconds before getting punted off a cliff ✅

- Also, why did Garmadon push him? Dramatic effect? I mean it’s not out of character but it still seems excessive. ❌

- ^Why does this one building look like a LEGO figure stuck upside down? ❌

- How inconvenient of Cole to loudly explain their entire plan in this room filled with people ❌

- Also, how is Lou the only one to hear this? ❌

- Trans masc Cole is real ✅

- “I’m not going to wait around to watch you make a mockery of our family’s legacy!” Imagine telling your dad that you’re a firefighter or something and he tells you you’re a disappointment because he wanted you to become a freelance artist ❌

- ^ You know those images that “cure depression?” Well, this is the opposite ❌

- “Treble Makers?” Look, I know this probably wasn’t a Pitch Perfect reference… but I’m still gonna treat it like it is ✅

- Aaaaaaaannnnddddd v*re is canon ❌

- “I have butterflies in my stomach!” “Oh, that’s just nerves!” “No. I really do have butterflies…” “… Oookay, glad he got that out of his system.” I’m sorry but I can’t even sin this I legit can’t watch this scene without laughing ✅

- I know some people think it’s cringey but this performance scene gives me so much dopamine I can’t not win it ✅

- ^ this image ✅

- Zane moon walking ✅

- “Rawr…” Well this definitely made some fans choke on their drinks ✅

- Look, there’s nothing gay about hugging your homies after winning a talent show… BUT there IS something gay about hugging your homie while affectionately nuzzling your face into their side. Anyways, make Lava canon 2022 ✅

- Also, Jay winks at Cole? Gasp! Is Jay a lava shipper? ✅

- How convenient of Pythor to write the 0 so off-center that it makes it very easy for someone to write a 1 directly in front of it ❌

- How long was this dude’s arm?!?!?! ❌

- True potential scene ✅

- It’s cool that they won the competition and all, but I still think it would’ve been funnier and more realistic if the ninja lost completely and just stole it anyway. ❌

Sentence: *clears throat* Gayyyyyyyyyyyyyy-

[hakasims]

The Most Important Review of Every Single Marwan Kenzari Film

If you’ve seen this one about Luca, you know the drill.

Now, Marwan’s brand is a little less defined than Luca’s but I managed to find similar tropes in a lot of his films. Also, rather than copy myself and give you a redundant Marwanmeter, I decided instead to recommend which Luca character best pairs with each Marwan character for your crossover pleasure. Let’s see if we ship the same things! Some of them are crack. You’re welcome.

(all gifs again by the awesomely amazing @weardes​ who did not ask to be my gif factory but life’s a bitch)

Het zusje van Katia (2008)

Will you miss him if you blink? Kinda. They talk about him a lot but his actual screen time is like 43.7 seconds. Also can I just say... he’s supposed to be from Italy?? The boy says literally one (1) Italian word, and you’ll never guess what it is. (Obviously, it’s “bella” like there’s a chance he could’ve said anything else.)

Is he hot? Painfully hot.

Is he naked? There’s this one scene where he’s wearing the sluttiest pair of speedos I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Does his hair look great? Actually, yes. Perfect hair, perfect beard, he looks amazing.

Does he fuck? Yes, a lot - off screen, including an M/M/F threesome he presumably, probably, most definitely initiated.

Best paired with? From what I’ve gathered, this hoe ain’t loyal, so the best course of action is to find him a Luca that would benefit from a one night stand with no strings attached and wouldn’t fall in love with him. The obvious choice here is Valerio from Slam - Tutto per una ragazza. They meet, they fuck, then Giac makes his 4-hour drive back to Pisa, and they don’t see each other again until the next time he’s in Rome. Everybody’s happy, especially the two sluts in question.

De laatste dagen van Emma Blank (2009)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, absolutely.

Is he hot? Very.

Is he naked? Almost constantly.

Does his hair look great? He’s got those cute short curls, he looks so good.

Does he fuck? That’s literally why he’s there: to fuck and to die.

Best paired with? Man, I wish I had something to work with here. The only thing we know about him besides his sexual prowess is his affinity for white suits and toy helicopters. And as far as I know, those might be the exact things Fabrizio from Nina finds hot in guys. So like, why not?

Loft (2010)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character.

Is he hot? Yeah, sure.

Is he naked? There’s a scene where he’s wearing underwear and a tank top but it somehow makes him look like a kindergartener.

Does his hair look great? It looks quite nice.

Does he fuck? Yes, though I wish he didn’t.

Best paired with? Tom is a very violent person and a drug addict. He does messed up stuff to his sexual partners I’d rather he didn’t do to any of Luca’s characters. Feel free to use him for your sadistic fantasies or as a villain or whatever.

Rabat (2011)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s one of the three leads.

Is he hot? Oh yes! And cute!

Is he naked? He’s at the beach wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

Does his hair look great? He’s got this extreme undercut thing that would look ridiculous on anyone less pretty, so like no, he doesn’t have great hair, but also like it’s Marwan, you know what I mean?

Does he fuck? Before he embarks on a road trip with his friends, he has an offscreen threesome with two girls he picked up at a wedding. Slut.

Best paired with? Gabriele from Waves. They’re both sweet guys who could meet in some Tunisian port and decide to sail the Mediterranean Sea together.

Black Out (2012)

Will you miss him if you blink? Not unless your blinking is very deliberate.

Is he hot? Not really. He’s a dirty cop with a shitty moustache and oral fixation.

Is he naked? No, but I wish he was: his clothes are awful. Marwan is 29 in this movie and he looks 50!

Does his hair look great? Nope. They took Marwan’s usual short hair and made it not work somehow.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? The one thing Luca’s characters all have in common is that none of them come off as bootlickers. All of them are either too soft for such a relationship or wouldn’t waste their spit on a cop.

Wolf (2013)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? *gestures wildly at the gif*

Is he naked? He’s got quite a few shirtless scenes.

Does his hair look great? It’s nothing special but suits his character well.

Does he fuck? Oh yes.

Best paired with? Hear me out. I know that some people ship him with Fabio, but in my opinion that pair, while hot, doesn’t work. Here’s my pitch: Cesare from Non essere cattivo. The drug connection is still there, but in this case Majid’s problem-solving skills won’t fall on deaf ears. Cesare needs a daddy, ok? Majid can be a daddy when he needs to, especially when he has a soft boyfriend to care for. And Majid needs soft, not psycho.

Hartenstraat (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist once again.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? There’s that iconic scene where he’s wearing nothing but black boxer briefs and boots while carrying a tray...

Does his hair look great? He’s got Joe-like curls and looks like what every male romantic lead should aspire to look like and then cry because they all fail.

Does he fuck? There’s one very unfortunate sex scene played for laughs. I’m pretty sure he’ll need therapy afterwards. I certainly do.

Best paired with? Paolo from Il padre d’Italia. Paolo deserves the best boyfriend, and who’s better than Daan, an extremely hot man who cooks? They both have daughters, so they can talk about that, I guess, and Paolo can finally have a family. Honestly, this is so wholesome I just made myself cry.

Lucia de B. (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? For sure.

Is he hot? He’s a cop. Again. But he looks good.

Is he naked? Fully dressed, but man are his clothes ugly. Is that a cop thing?

Does his hair look great? He has slightly longer curls, which is fine and the best thing about this character.

Does he fuck? ACAB. (I know this doesn’t answer the question, I just wanted to make it clear.)

Best paired with? See my bootlicker comment from earlier. While Detective *checks notes* Ron Leeflang isn’t explicitly corrupt, he’s obviously a dick, so the best I can do here is recommend any Luca character that has ever been in trouble with the law for any fics about power imbalance you want to write but aren’t comfortable with a nice Marwan playing the villain.

Bloedlink (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Oh no, he’s there the entire time.

Is he hot? In a weird way, yes.

Is he naked? So, so, so naked. Like, leave nothing to the imagination naked.

Does his hair look great? I’d say that little rat tail is the exact opposite of great.

Does he fuck? Probably more than is good for him. I should also add that he’s canonically queer in this.

Best paired with? Rico is a pathetic loser in need of someone who’s got his life together and has a lot of experience dealing with fuckups. Enter Loris from Il mondo fino in fondo. He has a stable job and a savior complex, and with his little bro gaying it up in Chile and not needing him anymore, all he wants right now is someone to fix. I should be a fucking matchmaker in real life, for real.

Pak van mijn hart (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Undoubtedly.

Is he hot? No. The whole point of his character is to be the lesser choice compared to a guy who looks like a completely ordinary bland white dude...

Is he naked? ...so of course he isn’t naked! What, are they gonna take this poor woman, show her Marwan Kenzari’s post-Wolf body and expect her to choose her deeply mediocre ex? Please! They’re gonna dress him in the dorkiest clothes possible...

Does his hair look great? ...and make him wear the most awful wig that was clearly run over by a truck.

Does he fuck? No. As you can observe, they tried really hard to make him unfuckable, but honestly, he seems like a perfectly nice guy.

Best paired with? You know what? Mattia from La solitudine dei numeri primi is in desperate need of some sweetness and normalcy. I’m sure Richard will treat him with kindness and respect.

Collide (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character. Out of five.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? Not for a second! What’s up with American movies where people aren’t just casually walking around naked without any plot necessity???

Does his hair look great? His curls are so cute you guys! Look at them!

Does he fuck? Not explicitly.

Best paired with? Fabio from Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot. Again, the drug connection is there, but Matthias is soft enough not to butt heads with Fabio and, by the end of the movie, rich enough to satisfy his cravings for good living and fame. Also look at how good their color coordination is with those dark wine red clothes! Sometimes planets just align, okay?

Ben-Hur (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, especially if you aren’t watching the background.

Is he hot? Your usual Marwan hot.

Is he naked? No.

Does his hair look great? His typical short curls with a twist. I think the forehead area is supposed to invoke the Caesar cut? I don’t know. It looks fine when not hidden under that dumb helmet.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? A better script and a much better director. (Seriously, what is this blocking?)

The Promise (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there a decent amount in the first half of the movie and then almost completely disappears in the second half.

Is he hot? Very much, yes.

Is he naked? Unfortunately, no.

Does his hair look great? He’s got short curls again, but this time they’re fashionably styled, it’s magnificent.

Does he fuck? Oh yeah! And there’s no way he isn’t bi or pan in this. No way.

Best paired with? Roberta from L’ultimo terrestre. Listen, Emre Ogan may be a slut but he’s a gentleman, okay? He’d treat Roberta right and he’s got daddy’s cash to spare on hundreds of gorgeous white dresses for her.

The Mummy (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there, but barely.

Is he hot? Dangerously hot.

Is he naked? Not once! Instead we get a naked Tom Cruise literally no one asked for.

Does his hair look great? It’s your basic professional short hairdo.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Malik is a member of an organization tracking and destroying various monsters and historical artefacts related to them. Guido from Tutti i santi giorni speaks four languages, including Latin, and is a literature and ancient history nerd which makes him a valuable asset. Malik can fight and protect; Guido is bumbling and in need of saving. Guys, this writes itself.

What Happened to Monday (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, especially not in the third act.

Is he hot? He’s okay.

Is he naked? Very naked.

Does his hair look great? They shouldn’t have greased his curls back. He looks like another victim of Fabio Cannizzaro’s stylist. Also I wish he’d either shaved or finished growing out that beard.

Does he fuck? He fucks and he fucks good. He’ll go down on you, he’ll deflower you slowly and gently, he’ll choke you if you want him to, he’ll spoon you all night, he’ll give you emotional support, he’ll murder people for you - he’s down for whatever.

Best paired with? There’s one Luca character who needs a lot of sex and even more emotional support. Alright, most of them do, but I’m thinking of Ettore from Lasciate andare. He needs it, okay? Good dicking, good spooning, a good ear, a fine piece of ass to cry into - you get the gist. Most importantly: someone who’d love him for who he is and with whom he could relax and be himself. (Also, I see you, people comparing him to Fabio. Shame on you for sleeping on this soft boy and judging him based on his appearance.)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s kinda always present, being very French.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? No, but I’m willing to forgive that because he looks so good in his conductor uniform.

Does his hair look great? He never takes off his hat.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Mickey Miranda. They’re both murderers morally dubious characters who would look hot together. What else do you need? (Again, I see you, people who want Pierre for Roberta because he’s a “nice guy”, and I know for a fact you didn’t watch the movie. Spoilers, I guess.)

The Angel (2018)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? Oh yes.

Is he naked? Not once, but you won’t regret it because he’s wearing excellently stylish 1970s clothes.

Does his hair look great? It looks fantastic. The sideburns (not yet seen here) are a good touch.

Does he fuck? He can definitely get it, but he’s loyal to his wife.

Best paired with? As the most aesthetically coherent and fashionably hot pair in this post, Ashraf and Primo are a no-brainer. Can you imagine Primo calling him “Angel” in different contexts? When he’s being intimidating, not realizing how palpable the sexual tension between them is, and later not even hiding his arousal? Sometimes things just work because they’re hot. That’s all, folks.

Aladdin (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the main villain.

Is he hot? It’s not like he went viral for being the “hot Jafar” or anything.

Is he naked? No! Fucking thanks a lot, Disney.

Does his hair look great? He has a buzz cut under that turban but he looks good in the turban, so that’s something.

Does he fuck? It’s a Disney movie, so he doesn’t fuck - explicitly or otherwise - but he still comes off as a thirsty bitch.

Best paired with? Jafar ends the movie as a genie who’s obligated to grant his master three wishes but is enough of a petty bitch to exploit the hell out of the “gray area” and screw them over Wishmaster style. My unconventional pair for him is Lui from Ricordi? So many scenarios with distorted memories and magic-induced mindfuck. So many possibilities for awesome and messed up crossover gifsets! Don’t say I never give you guys anything.

Instinct (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s very prominent.

Is he hot? I hate myself for finding him hot but I do.

Is he naked? He’s playing basketball shirtless in one scene, shaking his sweaty boobs everywhere.

Does his hair look great? His weird mohawk-like thing is honestly terrible, but if anything can make it work, it’s Marwan’s bone structure.

Does he fuck? Um, I’m pleading the Fifth on this one for the sake of good taste.

Best paired with? Prison. A very lonely, Luca-less prison.

The Old Guard (2020)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, unless blinking in your case means sleeping through the gloriousness that is the first ever canonically gay couple in an American action film.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? Shirtless in one scene.

Does his hair look great? Soft curls courtesy of Luca Marinelli’s tireless lobbying.

Does he fuck? Not on screen, but you can just tell by the way he looks at his husband and reads impromptu poetry right to his face. And everybody knows nothing kindles the fires of passion quite like murdering homophobes together.

Best paired with? If you have to ask, you’re clearly reading this by mistake. In which case, kudos for finishing such a long and confusing post, now go watch The Old Guard and cry at the beauty that is The Immortal Marriage.

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

I loved your latest recommendation of "She loves to cook and she loves to eat"! And it got me thinking. Did you ever read something by Ebine Yamaji? I loved her Manga as a teenager so much and I think some of them might be your thing? "Love my Life" for example, which was also made into a movie as far as I remember (didn't watch the movie though). "Free Soul" is also really nice. There is also one with some really sweet short stories, but I can't remember the name. I don't really like Indigo Blue because the protagonist is bisexual and the back-and-forth between her boyfriend and her female lover is incredibly frustrating (I am allowed to say that, I am bi myself lol). So be aware that some of her stories sometimes involve men, but the two I mentioned above don't. On some review sites her art style is described as "dull and boring" but I think it's actually quite the opposite? It looks so much more like real life, real women and women I'd be attracted to, other than most yuri manga. It just feels like something a woman attracted to other women would create and I sometimes really don't get that feeling from yuri.

Oh my gosh I’m so glad you enjoyed it!! I loved it too. It was so great and it felt like such an authentic representation of an f x f relationship.

I definitely have read her work!! I think her art style is amazing.It has a very whimsical look to it. To be fair though it’s been SO long since I read them I hardly remember the plots aha. I should probably re-read them sometime.

I so get what you mean about how some Yuri manga looks though lol. I definitely love the Yuri genre but it has a bad habit of characters looking extremely anime uwu lol.

Some that are published in English that have adult characters are these one though , and I think for the most part they all look like adults ahah

- The Two Of Them Are Pretty Much Like This

- Catch These Hands

- Still Sick

- Doughnuts Under The Crescent Moon

- Pulse

- Beauty And The Beast Girl (this one might be pushing it though because it is a bit uwu aha. )

There is an autobiographical manga coming out in February by viz called The Girl That Can’t Get A Girlfriend. I think it might be right up your alley! I’m personally very excited to read the real life accounts of an actual lesbian in manga ☺️

Thank you so much for popping in! And I’m so glad again that you enjoyed it ☺️

I hope you have a wonderful day!! 💕

[ordinaryschmuck]

Walt Disney Animated Pictures Studios from Worst to Best-Part Three: The OK Films

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck! I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

And we’re continuing this worst to best ranking of the movies by Walt Disney Animated Pictures Studios. Today, we discuss the films by the studio that are simply labeled as…ok.

Not good, not bad, just…ok. These are ok movies that I’ll be likely to revisit once in a blue moon and have a good time when doing it. Like if someone were to suggest we’d sit down to watch any of these movies, I’d most likely shrug and go, “Eh, alright.” I wouldn’t object to it, but I wouldn’t really be too enthusiastic either.

Well, #40 might make me a little enthusiastic. Why? See for yourself:

#40. Melody Time-This movie's just pleasant!

It made me use the word 'pleasant!' That should tell you how good it is! Er, how ok it is, I guess Melody Time is basically a collection of shorts set to music. And before you say, "Oh, so it's like Fantasia," it isn't. This one definitely feels more geared toward younger audiences. No masterpieces or works of art in this film. It's all just cute stories with well-designed characters...and the occasionally offensive-looking Native American. But aside from that...GIGANTIC ISSUE of representation, Melody Time is still a fun watch. I don't know if I'd be willing to watch it again, but I still had a great initial viewing regardless.

#39. Make Mine Music-Huh, that's weird. This one's not even on Disney+. I wonder why.

*Watches it through...other means*

Ah, because it's forgettable. That's why.

Don't get me wrong, Make Mine Music is charming with its collection of shorts and especially with its choice of songs. It's just that out of all the other movies in Disney's catalog, it's not a movie I'd be able to remember. Loved it, but I might not have fond memories of it. Or any memories, for that matter.

(But at least there's no racist stuff in this one. So, you know, that's a plus)

#38. Dumbo-Oooooooooooooh, those racist crows. Those incredulously, uncomfortably racist crows. I mean, the workers song isn’t that great either, but there’s something much more egregious about those racist, f**king crows. Why, in the name of all that is holy, does this genuinely charming movie about learning to embrace what makes you different also have to be the same move that has racist. F**king. CROWS!?

And the thing is, everything before that is wonderful. Jumbo is up there as one of the best cartoon moms, Timothy O. Mouse is a fantastic character for how much he supports Dumbo and cheers him on, the Pink Elephants are both the best and worst kind of trip, and Dumbo is equal parts adorable and tragic. I especially love how he gets revenge on everyone that made his life hell. That'll show 'em.

I love this movie...I just don't love those f**king crows! They at least come at the end, but they're also the reason how Dumbo learns he can fly. Meaning that they're essential, and you can't really edit them out (but future versions can write them out, so that's a plus that the Dumbo reboot gets). Usually, when everything else in a film is done so well, I'm willing to look past the negatives...but that's a pretty big negative to ignore. So, I'll leave it to you. If you can stomach the racist crows, that's great. If not, then this movie will be ranked much differently for you. Thankfully, I loved everything that came before the racist crows enough to love Dumbo from the beginning only to cringe at it in the end. So...I guess that's an achievement.

#37. The Jungle Book-Admit it. You only remember this movie because of "The Bare Necessities." Which is valid. It's a charming song.

And The Jungle Book itself is also pretty charming. Each character is just so much fun and oozing with personality. Baloo and Bagheera are lovable protectors with an entertaining dynamic, and Kai and Sher-khan are devious villains with simple motivations with intense methods. Maybe the elephants, vultures, and King Louie can get on my nerves a bit, but our heroes and villains make up for it. Well, the heroes that aren't human, that is. Because despite being the protagonist, Mogli is quite the dumbass in distress at times, feeling more like a plot device for Baloo and Bagheera to look after instead of a dynamic character who can take care of himself. Plus, his reasoning for going back to the man-village, while a little understandable, is pretty weak. Like, come on. After how hard he fought to stay in the jungle, this one thing made him want to leave it all? I don't buy it.

Still, The Jungle Book's pretty good. There's some fun to be had with the characters, even if the story ends on a low note. It may not be perfect, but at least you'll bear it! HA! Bear puns...

#36. The Aristocats-It's like Disney said, "You know, we made two movies about dogs before this, why don't we make one about cats?" And they certainly made a movie about cats. And it's...cute.

It's a cute movie with plenty to enjoy. I enjoyed the kittens and how naive they acted. I enjoyed O'Malley's relationship with Dutchess and how it often feels genuine. I enjoyed that O'Malley actually likes the kittens instead of becoming that guy who would cut out the second children are involved. I enjoyed how hilariously incompetent Edgar is as a villain. And I enjoyed...basically everything else.

Except for the racist cats. I count three that are meant to represent racial stereotypes, and it's just...yikes.

Still, it's hard not to have a fun time with this movie, racist cats aside. If you're a cat person, you're going to have the time of your life.

#35. The Princess and the Frog-This movie makes me miss Disney’s hand-drawn animation for their theatrical projects. Sure, the CGI has come a long way and you’ll get an essence of hand-drawn animation every now and again, but nothing compares to the fully-animated, fluid, expressive, and wonderfully looking animation of The Princess and the Frog. And it’s a good thing that this movie looks so good, too. Because the rest of it…needs some polishing out.

Don’t get me wrong, the comedy’s solid (for the most part), Tiana and Naveen are charming characters, and Dr. Facilier is a really good villain. The good parts make up for the bad, but the major problem is the story. Or, rather, Tiana’s story. I get why Naveen is a frog, as he needs to learn a lesson of humility and how to do things for himself. But Tiana? Tiana’s whole thing was to learn to appreciate life and the people around her instead of working for every minute of every day. Why is turning her into a frog the best way to go about that? Wouldn’t she want to work harder to fix this? And how could she appreciate the people in her life when all she has is her frog boyfriend? Is this movie really suggesting that it’s better to be a frog than a human?

Ok, I know I might be reading too deep into the whole scenario. It’s just a whacky twist on the original fairytale. I shouldn’t be reading too deep into this. But half the time, it feels like Tiana is just a tool to develop Naveen rather than her own character. It’d be nice if he helped her loosen up more, but there’s not enough scenes of him teaching her to have fun than there are of Tiana teaching him. It’s a shame, really, because this movie is a blast. Like I said, there just needs to be a little more polish.

#34. Bolt-Conceptually, this movie makes no gosh dang sense. It doesn’t seem possible that Bolt is unaware that he’s in a TV show. I know, the movie’s a cartoon and it requires a suspension of disbelief, but the whole thing sounds so overly complicated that it’s just too hard to believe. For example, do you know why dogs bark at your wall? It’s not because of ghosts. It’s because they can hear and sniff something so far away that they can’t help but bark at it. With that in mind, how is it possible for Bolt not to hear or smell any camera operator or special effects specialists. Better question: If Bolt’s dumb enough to believe he’s in a TV show, how can anybody be certain they’ll know exactly what he’ll do? What if instead of bending bars apart, he goes for the super bark? Or heat vision? Even worse, what if he goes for the throat? You’d have to put Bolt down if that was the case.

So, yeah, conceptually, this movie’s a mess…but dang it, is it cute!

Seeing Bolt slowly learn how to be a dog is adorable to watch at times. And, while the concept’s iffy, there is some solid comedy that comes from Bolt learning he isn’t a superhero, added with Mittens being the straight man to his antics. Plus, if there’s anything that a movie wants to do to get on my good side, it’s to show me a dog and a cat slowly becoming best friends. It’s just that easy.

Bolt, as a concept, doesn’t do so well. But as a movie that has a handful of cute and funny moments, there could be worse things to watch.

#33. Fantasia 2000-I think this one gets a little too much hate. Is it as much of a gorgeous masterpiece as the original Fantasia? No. Does it still have some incredible animation that often takes my breath away? You better believe it does.

Sure, there are celebrities trying too hard to be funny and a whole segment dedicated to a flamingo with a yoyo, but it’s all harmless in my opinion. To criticize this movie just because it wasn’t as perfect as the original is just too harsh to me, primarily because it’s still so good despite a few things holding it back. It might never be the same as the first Fantasia, but it still has some value. To me, that’s more than enough.

#32. Treasure Planet-I really dig the sci-fi spin Treasure Planet has on the original story Treasure Island, as it lends to some unique character designs and worlds. I also enjoy a lot of the characters, with Doppler being fun, Captain Amelia being a blast, and John Silver being the best of them all. His characterization and relationship with Jim was surprisingly heartwarming, as well as it is heartbreaking with how both characters would occasionally betray each other. So, yeah, I like the world and characters…but I have some issues.

There are a lot of things in Treasure Planet that confuse me. How do the pirate ships work out in space? Why would Jim’s mother willingly let him go after such a flimsy excuse from Doppler? Why is Jim the only one who can use the map? These are all things that pay homage to the original story while keeping things moving forward, but it really leaves the head scratching.

And while some characters are good, others…aren’t. Jim screams as a try hard bad boy to leave the teen girls swooning just as much as both Morph and B.E.N. scream as over the top comedic Disney sidekicks. None of them are awful, but they weren’t doing much for me. Although, I will admit, I do love how B.E.N. is animated. Really nails making a CGI character fit into a 2D world.

Overall, Treasure Planet is a mixed bag. There are some strong points but the weak ones hold it back by a lot. The x just couldn’t mark the spot with this “treasure.”

#31. Frozen II-Frozen II…is interesting. I can admit that it’s not a great movie, but, as weird as it sounds, I still love it. Or, at the very least, I love parts of it.

Everything that is done with Elsa is outstanding, making her a much more interesting character than she was in the first movie.

The animation is, as usual, gorgeous as hell, having two awe-inspiring set pieces that left a huge smile on my face.

The songs are also wonderful…Well, Elsa’s songs, at least. “Do The Next Right Thing” is pretty good, “Some Things Never Change” is a decent opener, “Lost in the Woods” is hilarious for the wrong reasons, and “This Will All Make Sense When I’m Older” is just…no. Still, not too bad of a soundtrack to have.

I really do feel like there’s some value to be had with this movie, and I can see why it has its fans. Unfortunately, there are issues that make it less than stellar for me, personally.

It is evident that the writers had no idea what to do with Anna or Kristoph. Well, they had ideas. It’s just that there wasn’t enough time to develop Anna’s story and Kristoph’s was cut and left aside with the original concept of the film. As for tone, it does try to be a lot darker and more serious, but it just doesn’t work with Olaf in the mix. The writers try to make him work in dramatic scenes, but it feels like a swing and a miss. He really doesn’t belong in the type of movie they were trying to make.

And then there’s the worst part of the movie: It’s message. It tries to have a theme about anti-colonialism and sins of the past, but the writers just don’t follow through on the idea. The ending actually feels like a major cop-out that honestly made me frustrated after seeing it in theaters for the first time. I won’t give away how. Just trust me when I say that it really could have been done better.

Still, while this movie is a bit of a mess, my brain always goes back to those wonderful moments that made me love it. So, consider this one a guilty pleasure. It could and should have been better, but I don’t really complain much about the final product.

The same goes for the rest of this list. I guess they all could be a little better, but I’m not complaining too much in regards to the quality. I still enjoyed a lot of what I watched, even if I felt no real strong connections to them.

But strap in for tomorrow! Because we’re going from “just ok” to…good. They’re…good movies tomorrow. Not great. Just…good…It’s still a step up!

[pascalpanic]

Caffeine Rush: Chapter One / Americano

Javier Peña x f!Reader

Summary: Working a dull December morning shift, you meet a seemingly disgraced DEA agent by the name of Javier Peña.

Warnings: Language, talk of death and canon-typical Narcos violence

W/C: 2.3k

A/N: YOU GUYS i am so excited to share this story with you all!! i fuckin love Javi and coffee so this features my two favorite things! big thanks as always to my beta readers for helping me out- especially with chapter 2 (which i was stuck on for 3 weeks lol). I hope you guys enjoy! this story has some twists I don’t think y’all are gonna see coming ;) I’m planning to update this fic once a week! I just wanted to get chapter one out there :)

previous chapter || next chapter || masterlist

Americano: espresso and hot water; has a similar taste to a brewed coffee, but still darker and more caffeinated thanks to the espresso. 

Work is blissfully slow on weekdays, allowing you to putz along at your own speed. Today, however, is boring as hell. You’d had approximately seven customers since the morning rush, meaning about seven drinks to make. There weren’t even tables to clean, no customers having sat in the cozy coffeeshop. You and your coworker had joked around, swept and mopped, and cleaned the espresso machines twice each. 

At this point, with nothing else to do, you sipped your third peppermint mocha while perched atop two stacked milk crates, leafing through your worn copy of The Great Gatsby. It was a common occurrence when evening rolled around, but rarely so early in the day. Since you were the one on barista duty, Mandy kept watch for customers and allowed you to relax with your book. It was routine for the two of you. She mindlessly fusses with the product wall and the coffee grinder, cleaning everything for the third time.

The door opens and you pop up from your makeshift chair excitedly. The weather is blustery and cold, with heavy snowflakes starting to fall outside the large windows, and the man who enters is pulling his jacket tight around himself. He looks up and you quickly dodge behind the espresso machines before you can make eye contact. It’s instinctual, and you’re unsure why until your brain reminds you of the man’s face. He’s handsome, even though you got maybe a second’s look at him. Dark brown hair and a neatly trimmed mustache, eyes an even darker shade to complement his tanned skin. 

You bite your lip and grab a large ceramic mug, bringing it to the espresso machine. No one would be crazy enough to order a cold drink in this weather. Mandy takes his order and a few seconds later, his receipt pops up through the printer at your end of the shop:

Ticket 114 - 12/3/93

Name: Javier

LG-Redeye

!memo: darkroast

Javier. The name suits the man, you think to yourself and smile as you begin prepping the espresso for his drink. As you walk to Mandy’s station to fill the mug with drip coffee, she smiles and nudges your side. “Isn’t he cute?” She murmurs. You look at the printed ticket then at the coffee warmers: there’s no dark roast. 

“Very,” you giggle a little and fill the mug with light instead. He’s seated in the corner. “I call dibs,” you tease, and Mandy shakes his head. She’s married, but she knows your type, and it’s exactly the man sitting there, staring at a newspaper.

“Yeah, okay,” she shakes her head but smiles at you. “No wedding ring either. I think you should bring his drink to him instead of calling out the order.”

Staring down at the filling mug, you shake your head. “We’ll see,” you chuckle softly and return down to your end of the bar, pouring the two shots of espresso. “Javier?” You call in your barista voice, and the man lifts his head and walks to the bar.

“That’s me,” he says, a small begrudging smile on his face.

“Hi,” you chuckle and hold up the mug. “We’re out of dark roast right now, so I had to use light. Could I put some flavoring or cream or sugar in there for you?” You offer. “Otherwise, I can most definitely make you something else. An americano maybe?”

He pauses for a second. “Yeah, an americano would be great,” he nods. “What kind of flavors… are there?” he asks. 

“Oh, we have a ton,” you say enthusiastically, grabbing the syrup rack and pulling it your way. “Any of these. Hazelnut, vanilla, raspberry,” you smile, rattling off the flavors, “otherwise we also have caramel and any flavor of chocolate.”

Javier raises an eyebrow as he looks at the small display. “Never been somewhere with so many options. Could I do dark chocolate and cream?” He asks, and you nod.

“Of course,” you tell him, dumping the previous mug and grabbing another. “I’ll have that right up for you. You can head back to where you were sitting,” you inform him.

He shakes his head. “I can wait here. Save us both a trip.”

You nod. “Sure,” you say with a smile, prepping more espresso. “The redeye and americano are pretty different in caffeine though, the americano is going to have more since there’s more espresso.”

“I just need as much caffeine as I can get. Tough day ahead,” he nods. 

“I’ve been told bartenders and baristas are wonderful ears to listen,” you offer, a sweet smile on your face.

His guard has fallen like a wrecking ball through a house of cards at the way you smile. “Well, I’m with the DEA.” It feels strange, openly admitting that around here. Colombians weren’t exactly welcoming to American agents, but it felt like citizens around here saw them as some kind of superhero. 

Your eyes light. “Shouldn’t it be a fantastic day for you then?” you ask. “I mean, it’s all over the news. Escobar. Do you know the guys in the photo?” You ask with excitement in your voice.

He nods. Escobar was killed yesterday, and it’s all over the news, including the paper back at his table. “Yeah. The blonde guy in the red shirt is actually my work partner. It’s a tough day because I didn’t get to be there when it happened. I’ve been down in Colombia for years now, and they catch Escobar two days after I leave.”

The smile on your face turns to a frown. “That’s… awful,” you nod, eyes full of sadness for him. “I’m so sorry. At least it must be nice to be home?” you ask, tilting your head slightly and pouring the espresso shots into the mug.

He shakes his head. “D.C. isn’t home. I’m from Texas,” he admits, and the way he speaks finally registers as a slightly slowed speech pattern from the area. “I’m happy for Steve though. The blonde one, my partner. He deserves it. We’ve been down there for… Jesus,” he sighs and looks at the ceiling as he counts the years, “well, a while now. Couple of years. I fucked up, bad. Honestly, I think I’m up here to get fired.” 

You frown slightly as you pump the chocolate into the hot espresso and water, swirling it around with a spoon. “You worked on Escobar for years?” you ask, and Javier nods. “Well, then I personally doubt you’d be getting fired. You guys just caught him, everyone must be in a good mood. I guess it depends on how bad you fucked up,” you shrug as you tap the spoon into the sink and bend down to grab the cream.

“I… do you know who Los Pepes are?” he asks. You shake your head as you stand, pouring some cream into the steaming drink. “Well, they’re a radical group who did some crazy shit to try to weaken Escobar, and I got involved with them. I have a meeting today with the review board.”

You finally make eye contact with him, wincing for him. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound great,” you admit with a chuckle, putting the cream back in the little refrigerator beneath you. 

“It’s not.”

“It’s not necessarily why you got called up here,” you shrug and grab a saucer, putting the mug on top of it and on the bar for him to take.

“Well, I don’t know, I suppose,” he agrees and takes the drink from you.

You shrug. “Best of luck, Javier,” you tell him with a genuine smile of encouragement.

He nods, looking at your name tag attached to your apron. He murmurs your name before looking back up at your face and into your eyes. “Thank you.” He takes his drink and returns to his table, and you sigh and return to your makeshift chair in the corner. 

Mandy pulls up two crates next to you, sitting down across from you with gleaming eyes. “Did it go well? You two talked for a while,” she asks, raising her eyebrows and encouraging you to tell her more.

“A little, but just… how I would with anyone, I guess,” you shrug as you sip your mocha for a moment, drinking the last of the warm coffee. “Not like I got his number or anything.”

“He’s sitting down to drink his coffee. Go offer him a refill when he’s done.”

“That would require me to stare at him, Mandy, and I think he’d notice that,” you shake your head as you stand to make yourself a new drink. 

She stands with you, pushing the crates out of the way. “I’ll keep an eye on him for you. I’ll signal to you when he’s done or getting low on coffee, and you can bring him a refill. How does that sound?” she asks you.

You nod with a sigh. “Since you’re apparently not going to let this go, fine. I will.” 

Mandy claps her hands together excitedly. “Yay!” She sings. “Oh, will you make me a drink while you’re at it? I’ll have a-”

“Skim hazelnut latte with no foam and light whip,” you recite before she can finish her order.

“You’re a babe,” she sings and heads over to clean the tables that haven’t even been touched since she wiped them an hour ago. 

You make her drink and set it aside, then work on your own, fourth coffee. The peppermint and the coffee swirl together deliciously in the air, fitting the weather and the time of year. It’s December, and the snow outside and the warm feeling from the man across the coffee shop contrast in your heart. You sneak glances at him a couple of times, biting your lip to hold back a smile as you admire the handsome face peeking above the newspaper he reads. 

About ten minutes later, you look up from cleaning the machines to see Mandy tucked behind a wall where he can’t see her. She’s frantically waving at you, pointing towards Javier once she catches your attention. Go, she mouths excitedly, beaming at you. 

You wipe your hands on your apron and walk to where she stands. “Fine, I will, but you’re making the drinks if anyone else comes in.”

“Oh no, how will I handle it?” She asks in a deadpan, eyeing the shop that’s empty except for the two of you and Javier. “Go,” she says, giving you a light shove and giggling.

You shake your head but walk over, placing a hand lightly on the table. “Coffee’s looking low. Could I get you a refill?” you offer.

Javier looks up at you, and you feel like turning to jelly as you look into his big brown eyes, filled with confusion but also admiration. He furrows his brow, creating small creases between his eyebrows. “Uh… sure. How much is it?” he asks, reaching for his wallet and setting down the newspaper.

You put a hand on his arm, giving a gentle smile. “You need it. It’s on the shop,” you tell him.

“No, seriously, what, like $5?” he asks, but you put a hand over his. 

“No, Javier,” you chuckle lightly. “Don’t worry about it. Another americano with chocolate and cream?” you ask.

“Uh… make me whatever you like best. And bring one for yourself too.” He says, well, really asks, nodding to the empty chair across from him. “It’s not too busy to talk, is it?”

You swallow hard before you break into a grin. “No, not at all. Uh… do you like peppermint?” you ask. 

“Peppermint is good,” he says, giving you a small smile.

��Perfect,” you smile softly at him, picking up his empty mug and saucer. “We have a peppermint mocha, it’s seasonal. It’s my favorite, I’ll be right back with them,” you say, giggling softly and biting your lip as you turn and walk back to the bar. 

You’re hidden behind the espresso machines as you finally grin and giggle, and Mandy rushes to your side. “Oh my God,” she laughs happily. “He’s so hot. What were you guys talking about?”

“He asked me to sit with him,” you giggle excitedly, preparing four espresso shots. 

She nearly squeals with excitement, grabbing your arm closest to her. You scoop some chocolate chips and pour milk into a pitcher, putting it under the steam wand. “Holy shit. What has he told you so far? What’s his story?”

“Well, he said he’s a DEA agent. He’s on leave from work right now, but the guy in the red shirt in that picture of Escobar after they killed him? That’s his partner,” you tell her, letting the excitement speed your words up. “He’s been in Colombia for a couple of years working on it. Isn’t that cool?” You laugh. 

“So cool,” she nods in agreement. “And he’s so fucking cute. Girl, you need to get your ass back there before I steal him myself.”

You laugh as you pour the shots and then the steamed milk into the mugs. “I’m trying, but you holding onto one of my arms is holding me back, love,” you tease her and she breaks away. You top both mugs with a perfectly peaked whipped cream layer, then sprinkle candy cane pieces and chocolate chips on top. “Wish me luck,” you practically sing as you walk back with a mug for each of you.

Javier’s holding back a grin himself as you make the drinks. He can see your head bobbing along behind the bar, the other woman chatting with you. He’s more transfixed than you than he should allow himself to be, but all fears fade as he sees you approaching with a grin and two large, whipped cream-topped drinks.

You set the drink down in front of him and he smiles at you. “Wow. This…” he looks down at it and smiles a little. “Well, it looks sweet.”

“I have a sweet tooth,” you admit with a soft laugh and sit down, taking a sip and sighing softly. “It tastes like winter. I love it.” He nods and takes a sip too. It’s sweet, but not as bad as he expected. “I added extra espresso to yours,” you tell him, a shy smile on your face. 

“A woman after my own heart,” he chuckles and sets it down, licking the foam off of his mustache. 

You smile a little wider at that and hold back a laugh. “Did you want to talk about the meeting?” you ask him, tilting your head, your expression softening.

Javier’s already falling, and he curses himself as he looks at you. Not a thought except him. He’s already thinking of a sly way to get your number. “No, not really. I just spilled basically my entire life story to you.”

“Then you’ve had a very short and boring life. That was hardly anything. I’ve had customers come in and cry over divorces or lost family members; the whole job situation was mild,” you chuckle and admit, tracing the rim of the mug with your fingertips and staring down at the steaming drink.

“Really? You seem like a therapist and a barista in one,” he teases lightly.

“Well, I did just graduate with a Masters in psychology,” you shrug. “I just graduated with it from Georgetown. That’s why I’m here,” you tell him and look up. “Working here part-time while I decide what I want to do.”

“No shit. I did my undergrad in psych and sociology,” Javier says with a small smile, making your smile grow too. “Texas A&M though. Nothing as prestigious as Georgetown.”

“A&M isn’t anything to sneeze at,” you chuckle as you look over at him. His eyes are deep-set, deeper than they probably normally are. They’re bloodshot and hold bags beneath them. After a breath, you bite your lip and look him in the eye. “You look tired. I don’t know you normally, I understand. Maybe you shouldn’t finish this,” you tell him with a concerned smile, scooting his mug towards you. “Too much caffeine.”

“No, I need it, please,” he says, tugging it back and sipping at it again. “Just… until after this meeting. Then I’ll know what my future holds, then I can rest.”

“What time is it at?”

“5:00.”

There’s a beat of silence. “I don’t have any plans tonight,” you say gently, looking at him with a question in your eyes. “Would you like to get dinner? Talk things out, once you know what your future holds?” You offer, a soft smile and hopeful eyes. “I already know enough about you. This could be practice therapy for me,” you tease softly.

Javier thinks for a second, though he knows what the answer will be. At least pretends to think, surprised that you could hear all he had said about Los Pepes and working in Colombia and that you still offered. “I’d like that,” he nods, his voice soft when he looks at you. “I don’t know the area well. You’ll have to tell me where.”

“Do you have a car up here?” You ask him, and he shakes his head. “I can pick you up,” you offer. “Where are you staying?”

He grabs a napkin and pats his pockets for a pen. You hand him the paint pen tucked on your apron and he quickly thanks you before writing down the address to the hotel. You take the napkin and the pen and grab another napkin. “And this…” you say and write down your phone number, sliding it to him, “is where you’ll call me when you’re ready for me to come get you. Okay?” You ask.

Your voice is so soothing, Javier thinks. More than sleep or reassurance or even a hit of Escobar’s private stash or really anything could be to him right now, it’s a comfort. You must be a miracle, he thinks, some kind of blessing for something he isn’t quite sure of, but he must have done something right in the eyes of the Almighty to be here, right now, talking with you. “You know, I was raised Catholic,” he tells you and leans in a little. “I don’t know that I am anymore. But still… I think you might be an angel in disguise.”

Biting your lip, you giggle and look down. “I don’t know about that,” you chuckle as you look up at him again. “Just… right place, right time, maybe. I’ll see you tonight, okay?” you ask him, placing your hand over his and standing.

Javier nods as he looks up at you. “How should I dress?” he asks and tilts his head. His eyes are so expressive, you notice and smile a bit. They betray exactly what he’s thinking.

“Um… what you’re wearing now would be fine. A button down and jeans would work,” you tell him with a nod, patting his hand and picking up your mug. “I’ll see you then. Good luck,” you tell him with a sweet smile and retreat to the back. Javier can’t say anything in return, just sips his peppermint mocha.

Three minutes later, you return with a muffin. “Eat this. You can’t have all that caffeine and no food.”

“Thanks,” he chuckles and looks down at it. You’re gone when he looks back up, and he breaks off a piece. What a weird day. It’s only about to get weirder.

-

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[n0wornever]

Big Reputation - Luke Patterson x Reader

Can u do a luke x reader where luke pretends to be a bad student (helps with his rockstar reputation) but is actually really good at school subjects. The reader has been having trouble in a class and luke is recruited by the teacher to tutor her? 

I LOVE THIS IDEA I’M SQUEALING, THANKS ANON, I hope you like it!

“Y/N, I’m sorry...there isn’t much else I can do to help you dear,” Ms. Clementine said, staring up at the girl with wide eyes. “All my tutoring sessions are booked up for the next week or so, but I will try to definitely get you in the next time around?”

The girl nodded, sliding her test with bright red F spilled across the top back into her hands. She had failed another math test and she was certain that her mother was going to go ballistic as soon as she walked in the door and showed her the most recent mark she’d received. She really did try to focus this time, but her brain couldn’t seem to calculate the formulas correctly no matter how hard she tried. 

“The good news is, is that we still have several other homework assignments and three more tests coming up, you have a lot of time to make up your grade.”

Y/N tried to gather her burgeoning negative thoughts as she forced a smile onto her face. She held the paper to her chest as she paced quickly toward the door. As her eyes turned toward the open hallway, her path was blurred by a vision in all black. 

She recognized the boy in front of her, Luke Patterson. His band had recently made their big break and opened for a late night show at The Orpheum and ever since, the school had been buzzing about the band members. He was in three of her classes, and although he seemed very charismatic on stage, he sat pretty still in class. She did take note that his posse was absent from this course, and they were rarely ever seen away from each other. Her eyes fell to the rings resting against his knuckles that were pinched in a soft fist and his chain that rattled against his black cargo pants before her view shifted to his face. 

Luke studied her with cautious eyes, his lips pulled straight across in an emotionless gaze. She quickly pointed her attention back toward the door and started walking faster. As she finally hit the open doorframe, a voice called her back inside the room.

“Y/N, wait just a moment please.” 

She spun around on her heels, eyes falling on the teacher’s beckoning hand. She walked slowly up to her desk, keeping her distance from the brooding student that stood to her left. Ms. Clementine pointed at Luke with a smile before addressing her again.

“Y/N, you know my star student Luke Patterson... right?” 

Star student? She questioned internally. It wasn’t that she had ever thought that Luke was dumb. She took notice to how quickly he finished exams and how often people asked to be paired with him for group work, but she assumed it was always to schmooze him for tickets to the next Sunset Curve show, not to raise their grades. Luke’s lyrics were always ripe with rebellion, so the idea of the eyeliner-clad, angst-driven teen being anything more that sticking to the status quo in terms of high school academia. 

The older woman pointed between the two students, that knowing grin still laid on her face. 

“I have an idea that may help both of you,” She said as she tapped her pen against the wood desk below her.

“Y/N you do need help with raising your grades...”

Y/N shifted her weight to her other foot as she listened to her teacher talk, refusing to make eye contact with the boy she could already feel staring at her. 

“And Patterson over here needs a stellar recommendation letter to get into that ivy league program.”

The girl’s eyes shifted over to him, his falling toward the window. Ivy league? She wasn’t even sure that Luke would go to college with the band taking off. Y/N’s eyes fell onto the reddish hue that took over the boy’s neck as he continued to refrain from making eye contact. Y/N looked back over at her teacher, who shook her head at the boy before shifting her eyes back to the girl.

“So I think that it would be a perfect plan for both you and for Luke here,” The boy’s eyes fell back toward the conversation at hand. “Is for him to be your new tutor!” 

Luke opened his mouth seemingly to protest, but Ms. Clementine placed her hand up, silencing him. 

“Luke, I would be able to writing a glowing review of the extra time that you took to help a fellow student, and Y/N here could pass my class with flying colors with your assistance!” The woman clapped her hands in glee as she spoke.

Y/N’s gaze crawled over to him again. His eyes were firmly planted on the floor with his fists now tightly wound at his sides. The room went silent for a moment as neither student replied. Y/N looked back over to her teacher with pleading eyes and the older woman turned to the boy. As she was about to speak, Luke’s head perked up and he nodded. 

“Are you free at 3 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays?” 

The girl swallowed hard, unable to formulate her next thought. Instead, she simply nodded in his direction. His gaze swirled around her face for a moment before her gave her a quick smile. If she would have blinked, she’d probably had missed it. But it’s quick presence still sizzled enough to warm her cheeks.

“Cool, I’ll meet you at the library then, starting today.” 

With that he stuck his hands in his pockets and moved toward his desk. Y/N turned to the right to thank her teacher before scurrying out of the classroom. Her brain started spiraling the moment she entered the crowded hallway, her eyes searching for her best friend Grace. 

She saw the girl leaning against the stairwell in front of her, scrolling through her phone. Y/N practically ran to her friend, almost taking her down to the ground as she grabbed the girl’s arms as she reached her. Grace looked at her wide-eyed with a smirk on the left side of her face sliding forward at the nervous state Y/N presented back to her, hands. shaking at her sides as she released her grip on her. 

“What is up with you, incredible hulk,” Grace asked, rubbing up and down on her arms.

Y/N pulled her into the less rowdy side hallway in a huff. The girl pulled her taller friend behind her, leading her to the outdoor plaza in the middle of the school, Grace giggling as she trailed along. As they made it to their final destination, she leaned against the window as she crossed her arms at her chest, waiting for her best friend’s urgent answer. Y/N took a second to catch her breath before talking.

“I,” She took in breath of fresh air, pointing a finger toward her awaiting friend. “Ms. Clementine assigned a new tutor to me to help with my grades.”

Grace rolled her eyes “That’s what all this fuss is about?”  

Y/N shook her head, leaning next to her friend. She turned to face her with wide eyes.

“My tutor is, Luke Patterson.”

Grace’s mouth gaped open, staring at the girl. She pushed off the wall and walked in front of her friend. 

“You mean Sunset Curve’s Luke Patterson?” She tapped her finger against her chin. “Huh, I never took him for a scholar.”

“Me either,” Y/N whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. 

“Why are you so nervous? You two barely know each other...” Grace asked with an eyebrow raised.

Y/N sighed loudly. She knew that she barely knew him, but that’s exactly what made it so nerve-wracking. She was okay hanging out one-on-one with people she knew quite well, but the second she was left alone with a stranger she froze like an icicle in the middle of December.

“Exactly Grace! I don’t know him, you remember the last time with that group project?” 

Grace nodded, letting a little giggle escape her lips “You mean when you almost had a panic attack on Reggie’s kitchen floor because he asked you what you thought about the slideshow he created?”

“EXACTLY,” Y/N was shouting at this point, running her hands through her hair.

Grace looked at her friend with a sympathetic smile. She moved back over to the window to sit next to her, the girl’s head falling onto her shoulder. 

“It will be okay love, you can text me at any moment you’re feeling anxious, and excuse yourself to the bathroom. I’ll stick around for an hour after school just to make sure you’re alright.” 

Y/N took a deep breath, mumbling a thank you in her best friend’s direction and Grace placed a kiss on the girl’s head. 

Y/N headed over to the library exactly five minutes before three. As she walked in, she waved at the librarian that often let Grace and her avoid the cafeteria by turning a blind eye as they ate their sandwiches in between the stacks. Finding an open spot by the window, she set her bookbag on top of the empty table. She took out her textbooks and sank down, finally let herself rest against the chair.

At exactly 3 p.m., he walked in. He met her gaze with wide eyes, shaking his head at her. She tilted her head to the side as she watched him speedwalk toward her. He grabbed her book off the table and tapped against the hardwood.

“Nope, too public, come on.”

She stood up and grabbed her bag, throwing it over her shoulder, rushing to keep up with him. She followed him down the narrow corridor toward the bathrooms. She furrowed her brows in confusion as Luke turned to her. He pointed at a door on the lefthand side and then stepped forward to push it open. The small stairwell led them down to the basement where a lot of the archived newspapers and anthologies were stored. Y/N could smell the books as soon as she entered the room, letting her eyes closed as she breathed in their scent. 

Luke slammed her book down on the table near the film reading machine and smiled sheepishly at her. She moved toward the other side of the table and sat down without another word. Luke eased into the chair across from her, leaning his head against his fist resting on the table.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly.

She turned to meet his eyes, biting down on her bottom lip. “Is this where you kill me?” 

Luke’s face broke out into a full smile at that point, unable to hold back the full-blown cackle that racked through his ribs. She watched as his head fell back as he laughed, letting a small smile fall onto her lips too. As he rose to meet her eyes again, the smile stayed.

“You’re funny, huh?” 

When she didn’t answer, he spoke up again. “I don’t want people to getting the wrong idea.”

“What, that you’re a secret genius? How terrible!” 

She shrugged, pursing her lips as her shoulders rose. Luke’s jaw locked as he looked at her for another moment, a smirk rising to the right side of his face. 

The silence hung a bit too long and Y/N knew her cheeks were growing redder by the minute. She shifted her focus back to the textbook below her.

“So, where do you want to start?” 

She forced her eyes to meet his again and his regular scowl was back in rotation. He placed his pencil behind his ear, looking off into the corner of the room for a moment before holding her gaze again.

“Next week’s quiz is the last one on chapter 9, so let’s start there.” 

She nodded at him, flipping the book open and diverting her gaze to the pages of text. She heard his voice ask a question over her head.

“What’s the most difficult question for you on the last homework assignment?”

She chewed on her bottom lip, if she was honest, she’d say all of it. But she knew they only had an hour a day, three days a week. So she pulled out her marked up piece of notebook paper. She tried to hold it close to her  to hide the red from his eyes, but she knew the marker ran through the paper. She gave in and laid the paper flat on the table, and pointed to the fourth problem in the first row.”

“Probably question D, I don’t even remember her talking about this ever??” 

He leaned over her shoulder, looking at her paper. She tried not to think about the woodsy aroma of his cologne that wafted close to her as he did, trying to focus her attention the paper shaking in her hand.

“Ahhh no, that’s a tough one.” 

He leaned back over to his side, pulled out his red folder and brought out the same worksheet. She watched as he looked over his work before turning to her again. He looked over to her paper and read over the equation she had written. Y/N let her eyes gaze over to the clock on the wall, not wanting to watch as he realized how terrible she really was at math. 

“You literally made the tiniest mistake,” he said with a chuckle. 

She turned her head and looked at him, his crooked smile directed right at her. She look of confusion fell into a pout as she tilted her head at him. He pointed down at the paper and walked her through the entire problem. As they reached the end, Y/N fell back into her chair with a groan.

“You’re literally telling me I just forgot to carry the 1?” She said as she nervously gnawed at the end of her pencil. 

He squinted one eye as he braced for his next statement. “Afraid so, that seems to be the only issue with your process.”

She lifted her head to the ceiling, shaking it as she laughed angrily at herself. As her gaze fell back to the table, she saw him already looking at her with a strange look, his eyes were wide and the line across his forehead sat tensed.

“What?” She asked, letting her hands rest on the table.

“You’re a little too hard on yourself.”

That statement sent a shock through her system. His soft eyes and worried gaze was galaxies beyond what she expected Luke Patterson to be like. Her eyes fell to his hand where his fingers anxiously tapped against the table. He was waiting for her to respond. She pulled herself together, meeting his eyes again with a forced grin pulling at her lips.

“No, it’s just that....I’m just really bad at math.”

Luke peered over to her paper again and her heartbeat rose. She watched as he scanned all the bright little dots and checkmarks before returning his eyes back to her face.

“No, like a lot of this stuff is really easy to fix.” His hand moved to point at a problem. “You just get to about the middle and slip up a bit, which derails the final answer. Totally fixable, you’re on the right track.”

She shook her head at him “Why are you being so nice to me?”

He let out another laugh, eyes crinkling at the impact. “Did you expect me to be terribly mean?”

She paused for a moment, word vomit spilling out from her mouth without giving her a warning. 

“Honestly? Yeah, a little bit.”

Luke brought his elbow up to the table, letting his cheek rest inside his hand. He let a small smile spread across his face as he looked at her, biting down on his bottom lip. 

“I do love to prove people wrong, so I’m going to take your wide-eyed look of confusion as a compliment.” 

She immediately dropped her gaze, giggling down at the table. She looked back up and his eyes were on the stacks, monitoring the collection of old papers that lined the shelves. 

“You know, I don’t think it makes you less rock and roll to be good in school,” She finally said, her tone coming out in a soft whisper. “You don’t need to hide in the basement of the library.” 

His gaze pointed back at her and she immediately stiffened. She had pushed too far, she thought as she looked at his pensive face. But a smile fell onto his cheeks quickly after, sending a sigh of relief though her.

“You’re probably right,” He admitted, leaning back in his chair. “But I’m not necessarily hiding anymore with you here.”

The left side of her mouth rose as she held his gaze. The two sat in silence, staring dreamily at one another for a moment. Finally Luke broke the silence by clearing his throat and looking at toward her worksheet again. 

“Ready to try another one?”

She let her eyes fall on his side profile for a moment before responding.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” 

She waited to hear that chuckle again before looking down at the paper in front of her again. 

.

.

.

Tag list: @xplrreylo @lovesanimals , @anythingandeverythingfandom , @crybabyddl  @themaddies-obx , @lukeys-giggle , @bumbleberry-pie @kiss-themoongoodbye  @marinettepotterandplagg , @lolychu , @bathtimejish , @dasexydevitt13 @musicconversedance , @txrii  @bestdressedandstressed @daisiesforlacey  @epikskool  @bookfrog247 @carleywhittaker @princessvader15 @rudysbay @spooky-season-bitch  @kcd15  @meangirlsx @itz-jas @parkeret @writerinlearning @calamitykaty @whatever-happens-imma-stand-tall @teenwaywardasgardian @dream-a-little-bigger-x @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ 

[incorrectlumityquotes]

Why Amity fell for Luz: A Theory

Watching all the episodes of The Owl House and reviewing them brought back a lot of thoughts and feelings that I maybe forgot about. We all ship things and sometimes we do it for fun; sometimes for deeper reasons. I just started lumity because it reminded me of Diana & Akko from Little Witch Academia. I loved that show so much that I wanted more, and I thought it would be cool if Luz & Amity did something similar. I had no idea that it was going to go beyond that, so DAMN. To quote a talking science wolf, “For years we ask how, but we should ask why.” I mean, we saw how. But why? Well I can take a guess.

If we’re are going to start anywhere it’s going to be with the girl in question, Amity Blight.

As far as I know as of this typing, Amity Blight is a witchling from The Boiling Isles. She lives in Bonesboro at The Blight Manor estate with her parents and her siblings. She attends Hexside School of Magic and Demonics. Good for her.

Amity has an ambitious and competitive personality. She’s always striving to be better and be at the top of whatever she is doing. When she’s introduced in I Was a Teenage Abomination, she’s showing having great pride in being the top student in her abomination class. In Adventures in the Elements, she goes to The Knee in hopes of training to beat her siblings’ high score on the placement exam.

Amity also has a bit of a temper and gets annoyed easily. In I Was a Teenage Abomination, she sics her abominations on Willow and Luz just because she wasn’t named top student that day. In Enchanting Grom Fright, Amity snapped at the person she bumped into before realizing it was Luz. And later in the same episode, Amity beat up Hooty when he decided to get too close.

But she does have a soft sensitive side. She keeps a diary in her secret room in the library and even reads to kids in her free time. Amity also has a strong sense of integrity. She despises cheating (and cheaters) and feels guilt when she’s forced to break ties with Willow.

So why did someone like this fall for Luz of all people? (see above image)

Enter what I call my Shipping Theory of Compliments

The Shipping Theory of Compliments is that two characters would be shipped and sometimes canonically enter a romantic relationship based on their personalities complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

People like to use the image of a missing puzzle piece, but I don’t like that comparison because I think it’s a little inaccurate and I don’t like puzzles. Think of it more like the two pieces of the yin and yang coming together and then growing the circles of the opposite colors in them.

Something like that.

And it’s compliments, not opposites. When you think compliments, think more Star and Marco from Star vs the Forces of Evil. Star wants to go on a magical adventure. Marco also wants to go on a magic adventure. The difference is that Star goes in recklessly while Marco wants to plan it out a bit. They still have their adventure as oppose to Star’s opposite who wouldn’t want to go on a magical adventure. That sort of thing.

So how do Luz and Amity compliment each other?

Let’s start with that they have in common. Obvious stuff aside, they’re both training to become the best witches they can be. The difference comes that Luz is a human who has to learn magic via glyphs that she finds and Amity learns magic the “proper” way on The Boiling Isles. 

Luz and Amity are also both fans of The Good Witch Azura book series. Difference is that Luz is more open about her fandom while Amity tries to keep it a secret. Also petty thing but they’re both fan artists too, but I think Luz might be a better than Amity. But hey, her crosshatching is improving.

Luz and Amity are also (at the start of the series) both lonely people. Luz’s mom says that she doesn’t have any friends, and Amity doesn’t like her “friends.” The difference is that Luz reaches outward to ease her loneliness (being social and friendly, trying new things, etc.) while Amity reaches inward (keeping a diary, staying busy, having a secret spot, etc.). They both also use escapist fiction to ease their loneliness.

That’s all well and good, but now we get into the real speculative parts. 

...complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

When I was taking acting classes I was taught that the way you see people act is a persona based on their experiences on what it takes to survive and avoid physical, emotional and social death. So now we have to speculate based on what we were given on what emotional/social needs and wants has Amity not been getting before that she has with Luz.

First let me point you to another show called F is for Family. F is for Family is an adult animated sitcom on Netflix that follows a very dysfunctional family in the 1970s. These are legitimately bad characters, not in terms of being poorly written. What I’m saying is that these guys are assholes. But here’s where it gets interesting.

One of the characters is Kevin Murphy, the teenage son of the family. He’s a dim-witted wannabe rockstar who is always yelled at and put down by his parents throughout the entire series. However in season four Kevin meets Alice. Alice teaches Kevin that his favorite band is a big reference to Tolkien and gives him a copy of The Hobbit. They bond over their love of Lord of the Rings and get along really well. Alice calls him smart for being able to read all of Lord of the Rings over a few days and never puts him down. Even in the one time they did fight she never yelled at him or raised her voice which he found weird because he’s so used to being yelled at. Alice gave Kevin the emotional support he always wanted but never got from his family.

Using that as a backdrop, let’s go back to Amity.

Amity grew up with her parents making her do things she didn’t want to do, making choices for her. Amity wanted to be one way. Her parents wanted something else. Amity’s mother even dyes Amity’s hair green so it matches her siblings. Amity wanted to be friends with Willow. Amity’s parents wanted her to be friends with the mean kids. While Amity does work hard to be the best at what she’s doing, her parents also put pressure on her to make sure that she is at that level. 

Her siblings are another bag of awful. They constantly refer to her by an annoying nickname that I’m guessing has an embarrassing moment attached to it. They seem to live by a double standard that Amity despises. She has to work hard and follow the rules just to be accepted while they are naturally talented and break the rules with everyone still thinking that they’re perfect. 

Family is supposed to provide unconditional love except it looks like the love of the Blights is based on conditions. Nobody just likes Amity for who she is. She doesn’t have a friend.

Enter: the friendliest person she’s ever met

Amity has to struggle and work for the simplest things, even affection. Except when it comes to Luz. Luz is naturally friendly and positive. Amity doesn’t have to earn her kindness. Even when she’s bullied Luz before, Luz is always coming back with a smile. I suppose when you live life surrounded by jerks, you’ll want to hang out with the one person who’s always nice to you. Sort of.

Yes, Amity did think Luz was a bully for constantly getting her into trouble. But even at Covention and Lost in Language, Luz kept reaching out to her. This combined with Amity’s awareness of her own behavior is what convinced her to try to reach out in kind to Luz by the end of Lost in Language. “She’s trying to be nice to me, so I should try too,” I’m guessing is the mindset especially in Adventures in the Elements. And then...Luz continued to be nice to her which is kind of a big deal for Amity.

Let’s tally up what we have so far:

Luz and Amity have similar interests (The Good Witch Azura series, art, fiction, learning magic)

Luz and Amity have similar values (work ethic, disdain for cheating, protecting those closest to you, etc.)

Luz gives Amity the positivity and affection that Amity doesn’t normally get anywhere else

They still have differing personalities with Amity being more competitive and Luz having more of a live-and-let-live attitude.

Even with all these things in mind, why was Amity so scared to ask Luz to Grom?

Speculating again but my theory is that Amity wasn’t sure if Luz actually liked her or if Luz is just friendly because that’s how Luz is. Amity was scared of being rejected because she felt that maybe she was just reading the situation wrong. Luz is this ray of sunshine in her gray skies (if you’ll forgive the cliché). People like Amity always think of all the worst possibilities (I know because I do this too). Amity was probably thinking a bunch of what ifs. “What if Luz doesn’t actually like me? What if she’s just being friendly because she feels sorry for me? What if she has feelings for someone else? What if she never actually liked me? What if she’s straight?”

Luz is Amity’s first crush and it is scary as all hell to put yourself out there like that for the first time. She wasn’t expecting to get married at Grom night. She just wanted to dance with the girl she liked.

The dance at Grom was like confirmation for her that it could happen. Amity didn’t have to ask out Luz because Luz asked her. Being with Luz isn’t a pipedream. It’s a definite possibility. And we all know how she reacted to that idea.

Uh...she’ll be in her bunk.

While Luz and Amity aren’t together as of this typing, I believe it’s bound to happen. Until then, after The Lumity Trilogy, Amity knows that Luz is the girl she likes. 

tl;dr version

Amity fell for Luz because they have similar interests and values, their personalities differ in a compatible way and Luz provides Amity emotional needs and wants that she doesn’t get anywhere else.

Also, round eared girl pretty.

.

Thanks everyone for reading.

[alt-rose]

take a break | colson baker

colson baker imagine

take a break - you’re studying for the MCAT, and he reminds you of the importance of selfcare.

warnings: none? language? school stress? 

it wasn’t unusual for Colson’s living room to be a mess. from all the ragers that he’s thrown to the guys’ weekly get together, the living room was bound to be trashed. empty bottles and glasses usually littered every surface with rolling papers and ash spread thoroughly in between.

however, the mess that currently inhabited the living room was not Colson or the guys’ doing. it was yours. you had taken over the living room, claiming it as your study zone.

you were currently studying for the MCAT, which you were taking in a few weeks. Colson had been so supportive when you decided to visit him during the important time in your academic career, and you were only asking for a few hours a day to yourself so that you could study for your upcoming test. you promised that you would spend the rest of your time with him since you were spending your spring break camped out at his place and would eventually need to head back to school.

he was so proud of you, and he was incredibly impressed with your work ethic. applying to medical school was not an easy feat, and you had worked your ass off to get to where you are today, which is something that he could relate to.

so, Colson let you trash his living room. he had banished the guys from his house for the duration of your break (or at least, kept them out of your study zone), and he even cleared out when you had planned to study, usually spending his time in the studio working on his next album.

when he was gone, you spent your day drowning in study guides and practice tests. your papers were sprawled out on the living room floor as you used the coffee table as your desk. you had pens and highlighters buried within the mess. you had your textbooks cracked open to whatever page that you had frantically flipped to when you couldn’t remember something. mugs with day-old coffee and empty fruit snack pouches were abandoned on the end tables by the couch.

it was safe to say that you absolutely destroyed his living room.

--

             “I’m going to head to the studio for a few hours.”

peering up from your place on the floor, you watched as Colson zipped up his jacket and shoved his wallet and keys into his pockets.

             “text me if you need anything?” he suggested before making his way over to you, leaning down to plant a kiss on the top of your head.

             “sure,” you murmur before pulling him down to kiss his cheek.

             “don’t study too hard,” he joked, earning a stressed laugh from you.

the both of you knew that asking you not to study hard was like asking you not to breathe. both are necessary for your survival.

after he left, you decided to use the silence to your advantage, and you began to take another practice exam. that exam then turned into taking another exam when you didn’t score as well as you had hoped, and then you were spiraling.

you scoured your study guides and notes to review the material you had missed. your eyes were burning from the strain, and your head was beginning to pound. you were digging yourself a hole in your insecurities. you had broken down into tears twice now from the stress. you were dizzy and nauseous from forgetting to eat; not that you really had the stomach for it right now anyway. you don’t even remember the last time you got up to use the bathroom.

when Colson came home after 9 hours at the studio, he found you in the same position that you were in when he left. you were hunched over your books. your blue light glasses had slid down your nose, and your hair was a mess. leaving you to finish whatever you were working on, he made his way to the kitchen to clean up whatever mess that you had left him, only to find that there were no dishes in the sink. the kitchen hadn’t been touched since that morning.

             “hey,” he began as he made his way back to the living room. “did you eat anything today?”

you only hummed a response as you flipped through one of your notebooks, completely ignoring him. finding what you were looking for, you jotted a note down on one of your study guides.

             “hey,” Colson tried to get your attention once more as he took a seat on the floor across the table from you. he watched your eyes flick up to him briefly before they directed their attention back to the work in front of you. “dude.”

             “Col, give me a minute to finish this up, and I’ll talk to you then,” you snap at him as you take a few more notes.

Colson let out a sigh as he watched you go back and forth from your notebook to your textbook. he chose to sit and scroll through twitter while he waited for you to finish, but after 20 minutes had passed, he knew that you weren’t going to stop anytime soon.

             “jesus,” he muttered to himself as he put his phone down on top of some of your papers on the table. “have you taken a break at all today? have you eaten? looked out a window?”

you scoffed at him.

             “I don’t have time for breaks, Colson,” you said coldly. “I have to study because I have to take this test in a few weeks – a test, might I add, that will define my future – and I am not even remotely prepared for it. my practice scores are decreasing. I can’t remember any of this material. my notes are shit. and, I am going to fucking fail, which means I am not going to get into medical school, and all of my years of working my ass off in school will mean absolutely nothing. I cannot just take a break when I have everything at stake here.”

you both took a beat. you were taken aback by your sudden outburst. yeah, you meant every word of it, but you hadn’t meant for it to come out so harshly. and, you definitely didn’t mean to snap at Colson, who had been so supportive of your goals from the beginning. he was kind of shocked by your snappy attitude.

             “I understand,” he broke the silence. “I understand that you are really stressed, and I know that you have a lot of pressure on you. I just want to help, and I think taking an hour to eat and do something other than tear apart your notes would help.” he gently placed his hand on top of yours. “it’s late. I’m tired. you have to be tired. let’s call it a night. I’ll make you something to eat, and then you can turn your brain off for a few hours. killing yourself over this work won’t improve your scores-”

             “Colson,” you interrupted, pulling your hand away from him. “I just need to review a bit more.”

             “no,” he said sternly. “you need to rest. self-care and all that shit is just as important as studying.” he stood up from his spot on the floor, now towering over you. “come on, get up.” you gave him an annoyed look, practically telling him to F off. “no, come on, don’t give that shit. get up.”

he moved to your side of the table, and he pulled you up from the floor, despite your protests. to keep you from running back to your work, he threw you over his shoulder, and you yelped from surprise.

             “put me down,” you whine, pounding your fists on his back. “you’re being a jerk.”

Colson carried you up the stairs toward his bedroom before finally setting you down in his ensuite. you landed on your feet quite ungracefully, only for Colson to pick you back up to place you on the counter. the two of you stared at each other for a moment. you glared while Colson silently challenged you to make a run for it.

he raised an eyebrow at you once he was sure you would stay before turning to the bathtub. he turned the water on and waited for it to heat up before stopping the drain.

when he finally turned back to you, he found you slumped over with your eyes fixated on the floor, as if you were trying to micro nap while you waited. he suddenly felt less confident in leaving you to take a relaxing bath alone while he fixed you up something to eat, now knowing that you were on the verge of sleep.

gently placing a hand on your cheek, he moved to hold you close while the tub began to fill. he rested his chin on the top of your head while you tucked yourself into his chest.

             “was gonna leave you to take a bath, but I don’t want to leave you to drown in the tub if you’re going to fall asleep on me,” he murmured into your hair.

you let out a tired (and slightly loopy) laugh.

             “you might have to join me,” you murmur into his shoulder.

             “okay.”

with that, he moved to pull out two towels and dropped some fancy bath salts into the tub before finally moving to help you off the counter. he helped you slip out of your clothes before moving to undress himself, and then the two of you climbed into the tub together.

you sat with your back resting against his chest, and your head was resting against his shoulder. he let you close your eyes for a few minutes, allowing you to take a small nap. while you laid against him with your eyes closed, he gently ran a soapy washcloth against your skin to wipe away the fact that you hadn’t showered in at least two days.

             “still with me?” Colson hummed lightly.

you nodded against his chest.

          ��  “do you want me to wash your hair?”

             “yes, please.”

Colson’s heart melted at how small your voice sounded. wordlessly, he gently moved you forward so that he could rinse and wash your hair with the detachable showerhead. you rested between his knees while he ran his hands through your hair. you were seconds from falling asleep, his motions slowly luring you to sleep. once he was finished with you, he let you rest your head against his propped-up knee while he quickly rinsed and washed himself.

he watched you carefully as he moved to unplug the drain and to hang up the showerhead before gently running a hand over your cheek. you opened your eyes at his touch.

             “ready to get out?” he asked softly, only receiving a sleepy nod from you.

he got out first, quickly wrapping a towel around his waist before holding your towel out for you. you stepped into the towel and let him wrap you up. after taking a minute to dry off, Colson grabbed the robe he got for you the last time you came to visit, and he wrapped it around you after taking your towel to expertly wrap your wet hair up in it.

you sat on the bathroom counter, slowly doing your skin care routine while he took a moment to dry himself off and put on a pair of boxers.

“you okay if I go fix you up something to eat?” Colson asked from the doorway, watching you apply your moisturizer.

“I’m okay,” you give him a small smile. “thanks, Cols.”

once you were finished, you dragged yourself to his bed, still wrapped in your robe with no motivation to put your pajamas on. you curled up against the pillows, letting yourself rest your eyes for a moment, while you waited for Colson.

             “I made you a sandwich.”

you opened your eyes to find Colson kneeling on the bed next to you with a plate in his hand. you move to sit up to let him lean against the pillows next to you.

             “you’re a saint,” you laugh lightly as you lean into his side.

             “hardly a saint,” he laughed back at you as he handed you half of your sandwich while he grabbed half of his.

             “a god?” you suggest taking the sandwich from him.

             “maybe.” he raised his slice to you. “cheers.”

             “cheers,” you laugh as you bump your sandwich against his. you took a moment to take your first bite. “oooo,” you call to him covering you mouth as you finish your bite. “you’re an angel. that’s what you are?”

             “alright, you noob, knock it off,” he smiled at you. “if anyone’s an angel here, it’s you.”

             “yeah, yeah, okay, you sap,” you nod back him before taking a bite.

the two of you let a comfortable silence fall over you as you finished your sandwiches. once you were both finished, Colson placed the plate on his nightstand before turning his attention back to you, only to find you already tucked under the covers. following you, he slipped under the covers before situating himself comfortably on his pillows. he pulled you into his chest, and you rested your head on his chest.

             “thank you,” you murmur.

             “for what?” he lightly stroked your damp hair.

             “you always take care of me. I love you for that.”

             “I’ll always take care of my girl.”

you lightly ran a hand up his arm, tracing his tattoos.

             “you’re going to be a great doctor one day-”

             “Cols,” you sigh with a defeated feeling sinking into your chest.

             “I mean it,” he told you. “you’re so smart, and I know this is a really stressful time for you, and it’s really difficult for you, but I know you’re going to do great on your test. you’ve been studying nonstop for weeks. you know you’re prepared, and I know it may not feel like it because you’ve been taking so many practice tests and stuff, but I think a break would do you some good. you need a fresh start. get out of your head for a bit, you know? take a day to get out and have fun, and then you can go back to studying for the rest of the break.”

             “Cols.”

             “spend the day with me tomorrow. we can go to the beach, or we can go hiking, or shopping, or anything you want to do. let me get you out of this house.”

you let out a sigh, taking a moment to think. he wasn’t wrong. you needed to get out, and you needed a break.

             “okay,” you sigh into his chest.

             “good,” he smiled to himself as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. “now sleep.”

             “don’t have to tell me twice,” you laugh lightly before nuzzling yourself into his chest so that you weren’t putting any strain on your neck. he reached a hand up and turned off the lamp, and darkness fell on both of you. “hey Cols?”

             “hmmm?”

             “I love you.”

             “I love you too, (Y/N/N).”

.

.

.

hope you enjoyed! i took a break from some schoolwork to finish this piece. college is hard, my dudes. feel free to send requests! - rose xx

[mokuhchi-manuscripts]

Spring Troupe with an S/O Who Shares the Same Hobby

A/N: I had a ton of fun writing these. Hope y’all enjoy! I’ll eventually write these for the other troupe’s as well :)

CW(s): none

❀ Sakuya Sakuma - Theatre

Sakuya absolutely adores the fact you love theatre, as it’s such a huge passion of his

He’ll definitely ask for your help when rehearsing and memorizing lines or when practicing blocking by himself. He’ll look to you for advice at times as well whenever he’s a bit stuck.

If you’re also in theatre productions, he’ll always offer to help you with the same things and will try to give constructive criticism to you too if you ask for it

He will definitely show up to all of your performances, his theatre schedule permitting, whenever you are in a show. Doesn’t matter if you’re ensemble or the lead, he’s so incredibly proud of you and wants to cheer you on

Whenever you go to his performances he’s so grateful and swears up and down he’s performances are always a little bit better when you’re there.

Be prepared to go on theatre dates; if there’s a performance he wants to see, he’ll be sure to invite you and he hopes you’ll do the same

Sakuya looked over at you, excitement written plainly on his face. You couldn’t help but smile in response. The two of you were waiting in line to see a new theatre performance that was set to premiere that day, and you were both vibrating with excitement. Sakuya squeezed your hand and smiled at you again.

“Excited?”

“Extremely.” The line moved forward and the two of you made your way inside. As soon as you sat down and the lights began to dim, Sakuya squeezed your hand again and placed a soft kiss on the side of your face.

“Thank you for coming with me.” he whispered.

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

The fact that he can do something he loves, with someone he loves, means the absolute world to him

❀ Masumi Usui - Music

Masumi has a passion for music and the fact you do too is just another reason he loves you

He’ll definitely share his favorite CDs with you, and even make you playlists! He’ll also create special music CDs for music he recommends or just songs that remind him of you

He starts to carry earbuds on his person so you two can listen to music together no matter where you are, and if he forgets his pair he knows you most likely have your pair on you

Sometimes, when you’re spending time together, the two of you just listen to music and bask in each others presence

He’ll share a lot of alternative rock with you as it’s his favorite genre, but he’ll listen to almost anything

Even if your favorite genre isn’t his favorite, he’ll still listen to and appreciate every song you send to him

‘Hey babe!’ you texted Masumi, ‘this song reminded me of you ♡ it’s called Same Boat by LizzyMcAlpine! It’s not your usual genre but I hope you like it anyways! (Ɔ ˘⌣˘)♥(˘⌣˘ C) ‘

Masumi read the text message in his dorm, smiling to himself. He opened YouTube and typed in the title and quickly clicked a lyric video. You were right, the song was incredibly far from his favorite genre. The song was slow and soft, but somewhat pretty nonetheless.

As the song ended he opened up your text chat again. ‘I am in the same boat ♡ love you so much’ he typed out.

‘Love you too, Masumi!’ He couldn’t help but smile at his phone once more, absolutely enamored with you.

Masumi just adores the fact he share his hobby with you, and you can understand where he’s coming from when it comes to his love for music

❀ Tsuzuru Minagi - Writing

Tsuzuru finds it incredibly helpful that you also like to write, no matter if it’s script writing, poetry, non-fiction, or stories

If you do more creative writing he’ll definitely bounce ideas off of you and have you peer review some of his work to make sure it makes sense -especially since he writes a lot of his work while practically dead-. If you write more nonfiction, he may ask for help with research whenever he’s writing a historical play or anything of that such.

If you ask him to, he’ll peer edit and review your work as well. He may not always do the best job, especially if he just finished a script

Remind him to sleep and rest! You especially understand what it’s like to overwork yourself so your reminders almost mean more to him. He’ll also remind you to rest, which is quite hypocritical but he does it because he cares about you.

You were working on the final draft of your writing project when you received a phone call. The name on the screen read, ‘Tsuzuru’. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your boyfriend's name.

You answered the phone. “Hey Tsuzuru!’

“Hey! I know you’ve been working on that project lately so I just wanted to remind you to go to sleep. The project will still be there in the morning and you’ll be able to work on it better after you rest.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Tsuzuru, you’re working on a script right now, right?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll listen to your words only if you heed your own advice. You can finish the script in the morning and you’ll do better after you rest. ‘Kay?”

Tsuzuru laughed then. “Okay, I’ll try.”

“Then I’ll try as well. Love you!”

“Love you too.”

He also always hypes up your writing! He adores it so much and thinks you’re incredibly talented

❀ Itaru Chigasaki - Video Games

One of the reasons Itaru originally decided to pursue a relationship with you was because of your love for video games

He loves to recommend you games, and he’ll play any and all of the games you recommend him

You can bet you’ll have video game dates. Whether this means you backseat gaming as he uses the controller or vice versa or even playing multiplayer depends on the day.

“You have to go down!”

“No, the extra bonus isn’t here, it’s further down.”

“No no, trust me, Itaru, it’s here I’ve played this game like a bajillion times.”

“And I’ve played it a bajillion and one times.” you rolled your eyes at your boyfriend, although he couldn’t see it. He was lying on his back on the couch, and you cuddled on top of him with his arms around you as he held the controller.

“Please just at least look?” you asked.

“Fine.” You watched the playable character move out of the screen as the game faded to black. Once the game faded back in, you could see the bonus chest in the hidden room. “See! I told you!” you yelled, laughing the entire time.

“I can’t believe you proved me wrong.” he laughed too, although there was a hint of frustration in his voice. You craned your neck to kiss Itaru on the jaw.

“It’s okay, it was more of a lucky guess. Also I played this game before coming over so I could see where the hidden items were.”

Itaru will go with you to gaming stores, and will definitely use you as an excuse for being there in case he runs into a coworker. But it’s alright, as he’ll give you an apology kiss afterwards.

If you ever need help beating a game, he’ll always be there to help and give advice. And if you play gacha, he may help donate to the cause of you pulling your best boy or girl

❀ Citron - Learning New Words

Citron loves to learn new words, and if you do as well, then he’d love to learn new words with you!

He’ll definitely just flip through a dictionary with you, learning how to pronounce new words and learning their definitions

The two of you were lying on the floor of Citron’s dorm on your bellies next to each other. Between you was a dictionary.

“Letter?” you asked.

“F.”

“Alright.” You found the ‘F’ section in the dictionary and flipped to a random page, closing your eyes and pointing to a random spot.

“Fas-mill?” Citron sounded confused.

You looked at the pronunciation key. “I think it’s fac-SIH-muh-lee.”

“Oh! That makes sense. Facsimile. What does the word mean?”

“It says it means ‘an exact copy or reproduction, as of a document’. So I guess, like, whenever the director makes a copy of Tsuzuru’s scripts for you guys to memorize it’s a facsimile.”

“Oh! That makes a lot of sense. Thank you!” Citron gave you a kiss on the cheek after he finished speaking.

Sometimes your dates just consist of flipping through a dictionary and learning new words. The two of you have a lot of fun, even if others may find it odd

Sometimes he’ll tell you stories from his homeland using the new words you learned even if he doesn’t always use them correctly

❀ Chikage Utsuki - Spicy Food

Chikage is so happy someone else finally loves spicy food close to as much as he does

He may ask you for help when writing his reviews, as getting a second opinion can definitely help him at times

He’ll take you to his favorite spicy food restaurants for dates and will ask if he can order for you as he’s eaten at these restaurants so many times, he practically has their menus memorized. Because of this, he has an idea of what is good and what isn’t and you’re most likely to like

Chikage had asked if he could order your meal for you and you and you had agreed, trusting him to get you something you’d like.

A plate was soon placed in front of you and you promptly decided it looked absolutely delicious. You took a bite.

“So? How is it?”

“It’s amazing, oh my god.” you responded, your mouth still somewhat full of food.

“It’s rude to talk with your mouth full.”

“Sorry,” you replied, but your mouth still had food in it. Chikage shook his head.

“Well, I’m glad you like it. I figured you would.”

Sometimes he’ll sneak extra spice into your food- whether it’s as a ‘prank’ or not is really anyone’s guess

Sometimes, as a date, the two of you will order spicy food from a bunch of restaurants and try them all, critiquing them as if you’re professional food reviewers although you could argue Chikage kind of is

· · ─────── · ☆ · ─────── · ·

Masterlists || FaQ || Requesting Rules/Remarks

[jackrrabbit]

practice makes perfect /// Mitsuri x f!Reader (18+)

Request: Hey! I read your Shinobu NSFW thing. I was wondering if you could write a Mitsuri NSFW thing but not as intense? Like Mitsuri and her female S/o are cuddling and things get a really steamy so they start kissing and fingering each other? Please and thank you!

A/N: REPOSTING because when I posted this a few hours ago it was glitching and not showing up in tags and stuff :( sorry to anyone who has already seen it!

I love Mitsuri and I get so few f/f reqs so ty for the request 💕 Y’all know idk how to write true vanilla so this is a little more spicy (Mitsuri and reader are not in an established relationship), but I made it soft just for you anon

Summary: When the most popular girl in school offers to help you practice kissing, it’s not like you’re going to say no.

Tags/warnings: inexperienced reader, femme preppy Mitsuri, she’s a little soft dom? like just a tiny bit, mild orgasm control, fluffy smut, crushes, modern high school AU, heteronormativity, reader thinks she’s straight lmao, all characters are adults

Okay, Mitsuri isn’t just the queen bee of your school. She’s also the prettiest girl you’ve ever met. It shouldn’t be possible for a person to be that beautiful, much less fair—what was god thinking when he gave her that pink and green hair that would look clownish on anyone but her? Those thick, dark eyelashes framing eyes you feel like you could drown in? Those long, perfect legs?

(Not that you stare at her legs or something. It’s just—your school uniform skirts are kind of short, and she always wears those striped thigh-highs, and she sits next to you in senior Biology and sometimes she stretches her legs out in the aisle between your desks and flexes them while she sighs during long lectures, and seriously, her legs are perfect.)

Mitsuri is the kind of girl who gets asked out by a different guy every other day. She has a fan club. Boys write Mr. _____ Kanroji in their notebooks, circle it with hearts, and fantasize about marrying her. She has more ex-boyfriends than you have Facebook friends. So you’re really sure why, somehow, you two have become…close?

If you have to, you can trace your friendship back to that Biology class. The teacher has a bad habit of cold-calling students for answers to questions, which makes him pretty unpopular. You’ve gotten used to it over the months, deciding that rebelling is a less productive method of dealing with it than just making sure to review the textbook chapters at least twice before every class, but apparently Mitsuri isn’t quite as familiar with the material.

When the teacher calls on her (a bit vindictively, you think, probably because she’s chewing pink bubblegum and drawing cherry blossoms in the composition book she’s supposed to be taking notes in) to ask her something about determining whether an organism’s life cycle exhibits zygotic, gametic, or sporic meiosis, she just gapes blankly back at him.

You feel sorry for her. It’s always painful to watch when someone can’t answer a question in class—you might be a fairly good student, but you still sympathize with how embarrassing it is to be put on the spot like that. The teacher refuses to move on, repeating her name and prodding her until her face is flushed bright pink and her lower lip is trembling. You’re not trying to pity her, but you can’t help it, and before you can think better of it you’re writing ‘compare diploid and haploid forms’ in the corner of your notebook and surreptitiously sliding it her way.

After the class, she pulls you aside in the hallway to thank you, eyes bright, telling you you’re so smart and kind and thoughtful and wondering how come she’s never talked to you before. “What a waste! We sat next to each other all semester, and I’m only getting to know you now.”

No wonder she’s popular. Her exuberance is infectious, like her good mood is seeping into your skin from her hand wrapped around yours. Mitsuri isn’t just pretty, she’s the kind of person who makes you feel good about herself just by being near her.

You’re about 100% sure that’s the last time the two of you will talk (unless she needs help with Bio homework and decides you’re the best candidate to get answers from). But it’s not. Mitsuri insists on treating you to boba after class—you try to deny her but she refuses to hear it and you can’t say no to her when she looks at you with those pretty jade-chip eyes. You get milk tea with black tapioca pearls swimming in caramelized fried sugar; her drink is jasmine rose fruit tea with tiny cubes of green apple floating at the top. “It looks like your hair,” you tell her, motioning toward the pink-and-green drink.

“Really?” Mitsuri’s cheeks turn red, which you notice is a frequent occurrence for her. “That’s why I got it. Isn’t it cute? I love how pretty all of the drinks are at this teahouse.”

The two of you split a little matcha cake. And then a vanilla taro cake. And then Mitsuri orders sweet potato fries and gyoza and fried chicken and shrimp tempura and wow, this girl can eat. “I kind of have a big appetite,” she tells you shyly some time around her fourth order of hanami dango. “Sorry, is it weird?”

“Not at all! It’s cute,” you blurt out, and then immediately cover your mouth. Cute? Where did that come from? That’s not the kind of thing you’re supposed to be saying to a girl you barely even know, or is it? Maybe you’re overthinking this. Mitsuri is so beautiful it’s hard to think straight around her.

You’re so busy staring down at your lap and blushing that you don’t notice she’s doing the same thing.

Mitsuri seems to take that teashop date hangout as permission to pursue a full-fledged friendship with you. Before you know it, she’s inviting herself over to your house after school, dragging you to cafés and picnics to study together on the weekends, and begging you to sit with her at lunch. Her other friends don’t seem thrilled at your being her favorite new playmate, but she doesn’t mind it so you try not to, either.

Like right now. It’s a weekend, and she’s decided that her house is going to be the setting for an overnight Bio study session slash sleepover in anticipation of the test you have coming up. You’re scouring the textbook for an answer at her desk while Mitsuri lies on her stomach on her bed with her feet kicked up behind her and crossed at the ankles. Graded quizzes are spread out in an arc around her on the cotton candy-colored duvet, and the sparkly gel pen she’s using to write flash cards is poking out of the corner of her mouth. With her fair skin barely covered by a tank top and shorts, loose hair flowing over her back, and dark brows furrowed in concentration, she looks like the centerfold of a teen magazine from the 90s.

I bet guys have wet dreams about her, you think. Then you shut down that line of thinking, shut it all the way down because you’re not supposed to be thinking these things about a female friend, no matter how pretty she is or how glossy her lips look even though she’s just wearing chapstick or how good she smells (like strawberries? honey? or whatever sweet she ate last, you’re not sure). But you can’t quite tamp down the feeling that you’ve stumbled on some unbelievable luck to get close to her.

You’re not the only one having trouble focusing on your studies. “I’m done with this!” Mitsuri exclaims, throwing down her pen so it makes a stray line on the quiz she was reviewing before it bounces off the bed. “I’m so tired of studying, aren’t you? If I learn another thing about cell division my brain is going to explode. Can’t we take a break?”

“Sure, if you want to get another 43%. Didn’t your dad say he’s going to stop paying your snack food fund if you fail one more exam?”

Her pink mouth drops open. “Hey! That’s not fair, I didn’t tell you that to use it against me. Be nice.”

But after a second, Mitsuri’s pout turns into a giggle. She hooks her foot around the stem of the office chair you’re sitting in and pulls it toward the bed along with you. “Come on! Let’s talk about love. Do you have a crush?”

You roll your eyes but relent, sliding off the chair and onto the big, fluffy bed next to Mitsuri. You can always get back to reviewing after you take a short break, right? She gathers up the quizzes and notecards and dumps them unceremoniously on the nightstand by her bed to make space for you, all too eager to stop thinking about Bio.

“I don’t have a crush,” you tell her.

“Really? There’s no one you think is cute? No one you want to get to know a little better?”

Well…if that’s what she means… You glance sideways at her. There’s definitely someone you think is cute who you want to get to know better. She doesn’t have to know it’s her—not that you have a crush on her; that would be ridiculous.

If she’s going to get that excited about your potential crush, how are you supposed to tell her you don’t have one? You’ll just have to pretend, for her sake. “I guess there’s someone. I wouldn’t call it love, but…”

Long black lashes flutter up at you as Mitsuri blinks. “Oh my gosh, who is it?”

“It’s a secret,” you say quickly.

“Aww, but I wanna know who you have a crush on!” She scooches closer to you and pokes you gently in the side. “Do I know him? Is he a senior? What does he look like? What do you like about him?”

“Um yeah, you know…him. He’s a senior but you’ll never—seriously never guess who it is, so don’t even try. He’s…really good-looking, I don’t know. He has nice hair…and, um, nice legs. And he…” you trail off, wondering what you can say about your secret ‘crush’ that won’t tip Mitsuri off that you’re talking about her.

“…I like him. He talks a lot but you can tell he cares about what you’re saying when he’s listening to you. He’s kind of dreamy and self-conscious about dumb things but it just makes me like him more.”

Was that too much? Mitsuri is looking into your eyes in pure rapture, holding onto every word you say. Are you being obvious? But—no way. She’s so loved by guys that she’d never even suspect that a girl could like her too.

Not that you like her. Not like that, at least.

After a moment when you feel your heart beating so deeply that you’re sure she can hear it too, she smiles sweetly and pinches your cheek. “You’re really pretty when you’re talking about your crush, (Y/N). You look like a maiden.”

You bite your lip, not sure whether to be embarrassed or flattered. If any other girl as beautiful as Mitsuri called you pretty, you’d think they were being insincere, but she’s not like that. Her genuine affection shines through in everything she does. If you’re pretty, she’s Helen of Troy.

“What do you mean, ‘a maiden’?” you ask.

“I don’t know,” Mitsuri says, tracing invisible hearts into her bedspread with a fingertip. “You just look…innocent somehow? Like this is your first love.”

You duck down, blushing.

“Wait, really?” She sits up and easily flips you over onto your back (sometimes you forget that a decade of cheerleading has made her at least a dozen times as strong as you are) so she can blink brightly at you. “This is your first love? Ooh…”

“Is that so weird?” you ask a little defensively. “I don’t get a lot of crushes.”

“No, it’s not weird! It’s cute,” Mitsuri says. “But aren’t you nervous? What if you fall in love with him and you guys start dating and you don’t know how to do anything?”

“Do what?”

“You know. Like, kissing and stuff. Aren’t you worried that you’ll have your first kiss with him and he’ll be like, ‘oh my gosh, you can’t even kiss, I don’t like you anymore’.”

“No one would say that,” you reply, but the scenario does strike a pang of anxiousness in your heart. You’ve always been too focused on school and friends and family to bother worrying about love, but the truth is you have worried about the fact that you’re soon going to be a high school graduate who has never so much as kissed another person on the lips.

“You have no idea,” Mitsuri sighs. “Boys are so mean. But I can’t believe you haven’t had your first kiss!”

“That’s rude,” you say, wrinkling your nose.

She flaps her hands in the air frantically. “No, no I didn’t mean it like that! Sorry! I just meant I can’t believe you’ve never had a boyfriend when you’re so pretty and nice. The boy who locks you down is going to feel super lucky that he gets to take all of your firsts.”

You sit up next to Mitsuri and lean back on her cushioned headboard. “I don’t care about that. Honestly, I’d rather have some practice before I get involved with anyone.”

A beat passes. Then— “Really? You want practice?”

You shrug. “I mean, I guess? But it’s not like I can just pick up some random guy and tell him to let me practice kissing.”

Mitsuri cocks her head to the side and long pink fringe falls away from her face. “You don’t need to do that. Just practice with me.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” What, is she going to give you tips on tongue technique or something?

“…Like this,” Mitsuri says softly—and then her delicate hand is stroking up the side of your jaw and carding into your hair, tilting your head to face hers and pulling you closer. She hesitates before she makes contact, looking in your eyes as if to confirm are you okay with this? But (maybe because you’re caught off guard, maybe because you think you do need the practice, or maybe because that angelic strawberry-honey smell is way too intoxicating up close) you don’t stop her, and she leans in and completes the kiss.

It’s soft. Smells sweet. Tastes sweeter.

Mitsuri’s lips are velvety and glossy-damp moving against yours. The scent you thought was honey is really honeysuckle—there’s a fresh floral quality to the taste as her lip balm is transferred from her mouth to yours.

The kiss only lasts a few seconds, but by the time she lifts back from you your lips are tingling. You cover your mouth with your hand like a damsel from a Victorian-era novel and stare wide-eyed at her.

“How was that? Your first kiss?”

“I—um, I liked it I think?”

Mitsuri smiles at you and it’s like a ray of sunlight falling down through a break in the clouds. “Yay! I’m glad.”

The two of you sit in silence for a second, and you wonder what you’re supposed to do now. Go back to studying? You’re not sure you’re capable of that when you feel like she’s…still kissing you. It hasn’t quite hit you yet that this is your first kiss—something special, something you’ll never forget. The feeling of Mitsuri kissing you is going to be written on your heart for the rest of your life.

What have I done? you think, but it’s not condemnatory. It’s a question, maybe neutral, maybe hopeful.

“Come on, come here,” Mitsuri says. “You need a little more practice.”

And then she’s kissing you again, all the while pulling you closer, closer, into her lap. She breaks the kiss just long enough to murmur to you to open your mouth. When you do, her tongue slips in, prodding gently between your lips and sliding up against yours. It’s a weird feeling—you can’t say with certainty that it feels good, but it doesn’t feel bad, either. It feels like something you could get used to.

This kiss is longer and deeper, and Mitsuri is sighing into the place where your lips meet. The kissing sounds are both embarrassing and thrilling. You can hardly believe that you’re actually doing this, kissing Mitsuri Kanroji in her bedroom and sitting in her lap with your thighs hovering over hers because you’re scared to let yourself press any deeper into her.

By the fourth kiss, you think you’re getting the hang of this. Your fingers are laced in Mitsuri’s hair, pulling her bangs out of the way so you can see her face clearly. Her eyes are hazy and intense, a warm glow suffusing her cheeks, and her lips are reddened. The feeling of not knowing whether you like having her tongue in your mouth or not is gone. You like it. You want more of it. You could do this all day.

…But apparently Mitsuri has something else in mind. She moves back and looks at you like she’s got a secret she’s dying to tell you. Her hands slide up your thighs, almost reaching the hem of the skirt you’re wearing—it’s knee-length, comfortable and practical for the weather—but with your legs spread over hers, the fabric is bunched up at the juncture of your hips and legs, exposing your thighs to view. Mitsuri’s fingernails (manicured, short blunt French tips, pale pink with stripes of gold near the nail bed) scratch painlessly into your skin. “You learn really fast, (Y/N).”

“Thanks…” you pant out.

“Can I do a little more? Just a little. ‘Cause, I mean, I don’t know if you’ve ever done this yourself—”

Oh. Oh? Mitsuri’s hand is creeping up under your skirt.

“—but it’s really good to have some experience with this, too, before you do anything with boys.”

She’s touching your pussy through your underwear. Those pretty manicured hands are stroking you through the fabric, fingertips sliding up between your lips with practiced precision. Oh god, can she feel how wet you are? You’ve felt that dewy heat growing at your core for a while, but you didn’t think she would touch you and feel it. “Mitsuri?”

“Are you already wet?” Two soft fingers pet your clit, moving over it side to side through your panties. “Did you get wet for me?”

“Mm—mm—Mitsuri…”

“Can I touch?” She pops her chin up and kisses you on the cheek, and then again on the other cheek, the side of your mouth, your forehead, all the while rubbing your pussy.

On the sixth teasing little kiss, you gasp and kiss her fully on the lips. “…okay?”

“Good…” Mitsuri smoothly pushes your ass up so she can hook fingers under the waistband of your panties and tug them down past your hips. You shift and let her do it—it feels like her touch is too hot, sending trails of warmth over every place where your skin meets. Her touch lingers even as you awkwardly straighten out of her lap for just as long as it takes to remove your panties and deposit them gracelessly on the floor.

Are you doing this right? Even with your shirt and skirt on, you feel more exposed than you’ve ever been in front of another person. You’ve never done anything remotely like this before—how weird is it that the first person to touch you is going to be a female friend? That you’re not doing this for the right reasons (and what are the ‘right reasons’? love? intimacy? desire?), but for practice?

Mitsuri settles you back onto her lap and slowly drags your shirt up over your bra. When the undergarment is exposed, she bites her bottom lip and sucks in a breath, and you feel eternally grateful that you, by some coincidence or trick of fate, decided to wear one of your nicer bras today. She cups the side of your breasts and runs her thumbs over the lacy wine-red fabric. “Beautiful…you’re so sexy, (Y/N). I can’t believe I get you all to myself.”

Your cheeks feel hot. Maybe desire is part of the equation after all.

Leaving your shirt bunched up over your tits, Mitsuri returns to your pussy, petting over your thighs and stroking up your mound. Her index finger dabs into the wetness leaking out of you and then circles around your clit.

Around your clit, not on it. If you didn’t know better, you’d think she’s deliberately not touching the place where you want— need to be touched. Her fingers are light and fluttery, not forceful in the least but making you crave more anyway. You try not to let your hips move, but before long you’re twitching on her fingers, trying to get her to do what you want. Your hands are braced uselessly on the headboard, but you hesitantly pick up your right hand to replace hers and touch your clit properly.

She isn’t having it. Her free hand catches yours before you can do anything. “Arms around my neck,” she tells you.

It’s frustrating to be unable to touch yourself when she just keeps building and building with these little flutters, but you trust her. Mitsuri’s a lot more experienced than you are. Slowly, you wrap your arms around her neck and wind your fingers into her loose hair.

Whatever she’s doing, though, it’s working. Even if you couldn’t feel how wet you are, you’d be able to hear it, the slick sucking sounds of your cunt dampened with your arousal. You’d be humiliated by the way it’s so obvious that you’re turned on if you were cable of thinking straight. Besides, Mitsuri doesn’t mind—at least not judging by the way she’s looking at you.

“Mitsuri…Mitsuri, can you…” You don’t know how to ask her, but you need more.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” Two fingers brush over your clit again and you almost flinch, the light contact sending a spark directly through you. “Tell me what you do when you do this by yourself.”

“I…um…it’s embarrassing…”

“It’s not embarrassing.” Mitsuri lays a short peck on your cheek. “Do you know how pretty you look? I could fall in love with you right now.”

It’s not serious. It’s just the kind of thing Mitsuri says without thinking, but your heart skips a beat anyway. “Touch—a little harder…”

“Where?”

“You know where!” you tell Mitsuri, with as much bite as you can muster.

Mitsuri smiles. “Here?” She pushes a finger into your pussy and you whimper. “Or…here?”

And she’s touching your clit, rubbing over it quickly and franticly, the first direct contact you’ve had since she started. The muscles in your back tense, legs stiffening, toes curling in your fluffy white socks. “Oh— oh, oh, oh— Mitsuri…”

“Does that feel good?”

After all her teasing, it feels more than good. It’s like you’re being filled up with something, some kind of heat that her fingers are bringing out in you, and it’s about to tip over and spill out. You rock your cunt against her fingers, trying to get her to go harder—but she’s already rubbing against you so quickly that you can’t think straight.

Two fingers slip deeper into your pussy, spreading you apart and pumping your slick cunt while her palm provides sloppy stimulation to your clit. You mewl and fall forward onto her, head thrown over her shoulder, so you can feel the vibration of her soft laughter in your chest. “Do you like it? I can tell…you know, your insides are holding me really tight….”

How does she say such dirty things with that pretty mouth? You’d tell her off if you thought you could speak without moaning. “Unff…mmm…”

“I’m going to make you cum, baby,” Mitsuri hums. “You’re going to cum on my fingers, okay?”

She’s right. You’re about to tip over that edge, overflow, get off with Mitsuri fucking you with two fingers twisting and hitting your g-spot and sliding over you so deliciously that you don’t even care that all of this is wrong. “I’m— I’m cumming—“

“Uh-uh.” Mitsuri’s hand stops, still touching but no longer moving, and the heat in your pussy plateaus and then dips.

You’re so frustrated you want to scream. “Mitsuri…!”

“Can you do something for me?” She resumes the teasing movements from before, edging over your clit but not finishing it. “Tell me who you really like.”

“What?”

“I know you like me.” Her free hand, around your waist, slides up and presses her thumb into the divot between two vertebrae in your spine. “When you were talking about your crush, I know it’s me. Tell me you like me.”

“I—I don’t—“

“No, you do. You like me. Say it. Say it, and I’ll let you cum. You want to cum, don’t you? You need it? I’m going to give you what you need, so tell me you like me…”

It’s not like she’s being cruel. Mitsuri’s tone is as sweet and kind and caring as ever. Her pace is agonizingly slow and she’s right, you need it. You’re lucky your chin is resting on her shoulder because you wouldn’t be able to stand it if she saw the look on your face as you choke out, “I like…I like you, Mitsuri! I like you!”

“I like you too, (Y/N),” Mitsuri gasps, and then her fingers are moving again, rubbing your clit, making you crazy, and it’s only a second but you want it so bad that you only need a second before you— you’re— you’re falling apart—

“Mitsuri!”

Oh god. Oh god. It feels good, it feels crazy. You can’t think. You can feel the muscles in your pussy squeezing down intermittently on her fingers. She holds you still as the shocks race up through you, letting you twitch and convulse in her arms.

“See now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Mitsuri sings in your ear.

It takes you a long moment to get the strength to sit up, flopping bonelessly backward on her thighs so you can look her in the eye. “I don’t know,” you sigh finally. “Wasn’t exactly easy.”

Her eyes close when she smiles. “Don’t worry about it. You just need a little more practice.”

[bluesilksilverspurs]

So, a little intro piece to what I hope will be quite a few pieces about Nikolai. This part is SFW, but the rest will definitely most likely not be :)

F!reader x Nikolai Zinoviev

"Something planned for this evening?" His voice was cool, and unexpected. Sometimes you forgot there was even anyone else in the dim room, the quiet and the faint, still light thrown by blue screens suggesting solitude. You knew he preferred it that way. Wesker wasn't one for small talk.

Turning, you looked along the console to him. An imposing figure, all the more so since the Mansion Incident, Wesker was sitting watching you, his long fingers splayed on the arms of the leather chair.

You felt suddenly self-conscious. You weren't wearing anything risqué - you'd changed into a pair of smart black jeans, a dark blue top that suggested a hint of cleavage. The necklace at your throat sparkled silver in the light above you. But still, you felt suddenly naked, as though he could see through you, as transparent as water.

"I'm meeting a friend for dinner."

Wesker didn't say anything at first, but his fingers drummed very softly on the armrest. When you didn't elaborate, he continued.

"A friend we have in common?"

It was a question, but it came out sounding like a statement. You swallowed. Why were you nervous? You weren't doing anything wrong. Were you?

"Nikolai."

He stared at you for a beat longer, then turned his head to the bank of monitors on his left. His gloved hand tapped a few times on the keypad beside him. Your cheeks burned.

"He's a dangerous man. You should take care with the company you keep."

A nervous giggle bubbled from your lips, and you flashed a smile at him.

"Dangerous men seem to be the only company I keep these days."

Wesker smirked at you, but his gaze had drifted. His attention was already on something else. "Have fun, then."

"Thanks."

You pressed your palm against the release mechanism for the door and walked out of the darkened room, blinking in the sudden harsh glare of the corridor. White and chrome, stretching for miles, it seemed. Given how many people worked in this facility, it was strange that you barely saw anyone. Well, it wasn't strange on this particular floor. Here it was quiet, austere, the atmosphere monastic. People rarely came here, unless to deliver bad news, or receive it.

The elevator doors opened with a soft chime, and you stepped inside. There, three versions of yourself stared back at you, identical eyebrows raised in identical appraisal. You looked okay, you thought. This was a fairly balanced assessment - your inner critic might be lying dormant, but you knew it wouldn't take much to coax her out. Instead, you combed your fingers through your hair, teasing out strands on each side of your face. You'd put on a little make-up - nothing much, only a slick of mascara, really - and you tried a shaky smile. The nerves exploded in your stomach.

There was no point in asking yourself why you were nervous. Nikolai Zinoviev was a mercenary, a ruthless man who played badly with others. But he had a wry sense of humour that delighted you, an odd chivalry about him, and eyes that were surprisingly doe-like for a trained killer. You thought him tremendously handsome, but not the kind of man you would normally be attracted to (here your mind scoffed. He was rather a lot like the kind of men you were normally attracted. Your current employer being a former case in point). If you were honest, you didn't think he would be interested, not in you, nor maybe anyone else. Certainly not for anything more than a quick fuck. So it had surprised you when he asked if you'd join him tonight.

Maybe a quick fuck was all he wanted. You didn't know. It had been a long time since you'd been on any type of date at all - working as a contact for powerful men manipulating the balance of power was exhausting, time-intensive and secretive, in effect making it almost impossible to have an intimate relationship. You didn't want to lie to anyone, or present yourself as something other than you were. You knew what your job was - you were good at it, and you were loyal, which is probably why Wesker had kept you around for so long. You knew that you weren't working for the good guys, although sometimes you could see the logic in the moves that were made. It didn't matter anyway. Good, or bad, there would always be casualties, always be compromises, always deals struck and undone. The money was good, and you were respected, although sometimes you thought that might be, in part, because of who your direct boss was.

Your job was how you had met Nikolai in the first place. You wore many hats and spun many plates for Wesker, but your chief responsibility was the allocation of contracts. At your fingertips was a database of the world's mercenaries, private armies, general guns for hire. Wesker told you what he wanted, you arranged to have it done. Simple. Most of the time, a quick encrypted message was enough to a familiar contact - a straightforward job needing executed. Other times it was more complicated, and for this you would meet contacts to discuss the details, and their compensation. Sometimes they bartered for price, but not always. Not even often, really. Wesker was well-connected and had deep pockets. His contracts were sought after, not merely because of the good pay, but because of the good graces it could land a mercenary in. Wesker might be above the interpersonal politics, but you remembered who you liked to work with, and who was unreliable, or a headache.

You liked to work with Nikolai.

Reliable, efficient, handsome. What more could an agent ask for?

You had reached the front door of the building. Sometimes you wondered if people really did believe this was simply the headquarters of an international manufacturer of lab equipment. The original story had been a HR company, but it was thought too hard to explain the delivery trucks coming in and out. You did wonder what people thought about the helicopters that came and went. It didn't matter. The town was in Wesker's pocket, or rather, in the pockets of the companies that he hid behind. Dark shades hiding dark intentions.

The company car was waiting at the kerb, and you slid into the back seat. The driver pulled away smoothly, heading downtown. You wondered if this is how Wesker had known you had plans, but you couldn't begin to guess how he suspected it was Nikolai you were meeting. It didn't really matter, you supposed. You wouldn't have lied to him. You didn't lie to Wesker and get away with it. If the man wanted to know something, then he could find it out easily enough.

The lights seemed to flicker and blur as the car moved between traffic. You would be early, most likely, but you didn't mind waiting. Maybe you'd even have a drink to calm your nerves, although drinking wasn't something you tended to do. You didn't like feeling out of control.

Soon, the car was pulling up outside a small bar. Inside, you could see patrons milling about, people drinking, heads close together. You hadn't picked the venue, but you'd read favourable reviews in the local press. You thanked the driver, pressed a crisp $20 into his hand and, taking a deep breath, got out of the car.

"Ah, Miss L/n!" The Russian accent was unmistakable, smooth and dark and dizzying. You startled, and he laughed, pushing away from the wall he'd been leaning against. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

The blush that was furiously spreading across your cheeks deepened as your eyes flitted across him. He seemed impossibly tall, even though you weren't particularly short, and he was wearing a smart grey linen jacket and a pale shirt over dark trousers. Even in civilian clothes, he was intimidating, but he made you feel…. safe, somehow. You knew what he had done, what he did for a living. You knew how dangerous he could be. But you didn't feel threatened by him. You smiled.

"It's alright, I just…. Well, I'm early - it didn't occur to me that you would be early too."

"I don't like a lady to have to walk into a bar unescorted." His expression was playful, and you relaxed a little.

"And they say chivalry is dead." Linking your hand into the crook of his proffered arm, you walked into the bar with him. Were you imagining it, or were people staring? Did anyone recognise either of you? Was there anyone here doing surveillance? You shook your head a little, as though trying to shake loose the thoughts. You knew Nikolai would have already run recce here. It was fine.

"Reservation, sir?" The maitre d' asked, his tone polished and bright. Nikolai smiled at the man, and you marvelled at how personable he could appear to be. You knew about his reputation. You knew about his propensity for manipulation, for ingratiating himself with people - you knew this, and worried about it, and somehow were drawn to him anyway. Maybe you had no sense of self-preservation after all.

"Novikov."

You didn’t let your eyes leave the maitre d' and his gloved hand running his pencil down the gilt-lined book, never giving away the sleight in name.

"Ah yes, sir. Yes. Please, follow me." The man made a sweeping gesture and stepped nimbly round the varnished table, and you allowed Nikolai to lead you through the bar. There were booths in the back, curved backs, sleek tables, lined along the wall, but the maitre d' led you off to the left and through a sedate black door. Behind it, there was a staircase, lit with tiny blown-glass lamps, like little frosted irises blooming with soft light. You looked up at Nikolai through your eyelashes as he held the door open for you to go through, and you both followed the man up the stairs.

With a subtle flourish, the man opened the door at the top. The room that you walked into was not as large as the bar down stairs, but there were a small number of fine booths lining the walls. Some of them were occupied, some were empty, but your eyes were drawn to the baby grand sitting on a little plinth in the centre of the room, a tall vase frothing with lilac-coloured flowers beside it. A man in coat and tails sat there, momentarily paused to take a sip of his drink and converse with one of the patrons.

"I didn't know this place was here." You admitted, feeling strangely naïve as you slid into the booth indicated by the maitre d'. The man took your drink orders and then left, and Nikolai looked at you properly for the first time.

"You look very lovely this evening. A little nervous, perhaps, but lovely."

"You look very lovely yourself, Mr. Novikov." Your smile was flirtatious, genuine. It felt as though this was the first thing you had done in an age that wasn't work. It probably was. He laughed.

"Makes sense to keep a low profile. I doubt they'd buy my name was Jones, or Smith, though. Not with this accent."

"You know, I was kind of surprised when you asked if I'd join you tonight." Your fingers played with the edge of the heavy linen napkin, lining it neatly perpendicular to the table edge. Why was it so hard to look at him all of a sudden?

His large hand covered yours, stilling your anxious fidgeting. His skin was warm - a corresponding warmth seemed to bloom low in your belly.

"Why?"

Why, indeed. You glanced up and found his eyes intent on you, his expression intense. His thumb grazed back and forth along the underside of your wrist, the movement mesmerising, tracing the thrum of your pulse.

"I guess I just never imagined you as the kind of man who'd go out for dinner." Or be interested in me. You smiled, "I don't know why I thought you would be working 24/7. Maybe it's because I've only seen you in a work capacity til now."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Miss L/n". His smile was wolfish, sharp. That feeling in your belly made you shift in your seat, pressing your thighs tight together beneath the welcome cover of the table.

"I'll bet."

The smile on his face softened, and he let go of your hand, breaking the breathless feeling of falling, of your mind racing like a rabbit in the parts of your mind you normally kept the doors closed on.

"Let's spend this evening getting to know a few more things about each other, hm?" He raised his glass to you, and you mirrored him, shy and alive.

[hisunshiine]

—trade secrets |myg|

⟢ pairing: CEO!Yoongi x Assistant!Reader 

⟢ word count: 3.4k 

⟢ genre + warnings: coworkers to lovers au || nsfw 18+ some angast, smut, & fluff: 𝘴𝘮𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧™️; explicit sex: kissing, oral f. receiving, fingering, spanking, unprotected vaginal penetration, creampie, semi-public sex (office, bathroom)  

⟢ summary: you’ve been pining over your boss forever, but when you and he finally cross that line, it’s not exactly all hearts and rainbows. 

⟢ authors note: originally posted to twitter, i hope you enjoy!

Sat at your desk, you shuffled the papers neatly in order to staple them at the top left hand corner. The finished report was for the 2:30 PM meeting, and your boss would be needing it by 1 PM to review it for his presentation. Out of all of the assistants for the department, he trusted you the most. After several years of working for the company, you were basically Min Yoongi’s personal assistant, despite there being 3 of you to serve the 3 project managers. 

This had been a foreign concept when you had first joined the company, used to being assigned to a specific manager at your old job, but you enjoyed this set up so much more. It allowed you to help each other handle all of the tasks as a group, being more efficient. It also helped with having days off, without it impacting work since there were still 2 assistants who knew what was going on no matter what projects were being handled. But for Min Yoongi, you were his favorite. 

Of course, out of the other 2 project managers, Park Jimin and Jung Hoseok, you felt like Yoongi was your favorite too. Ever since starting, you had just gravitated towards him. He was the complete opposite of his coworkers, who were both loud and rambunctious. This didn’t mean Yoongi didn’t also get loud, on the contrary, he could definitely raise his voice, but he was typically calm and quiet, often sitting back and listening before speaking. 

You on the other hand, were definitely more like Jimin and Hoseok. You supposed this was why you liked Yoongi so much. He balanced out your wild nature, the calming flower to settle your fluttering butterfly wings on and just… rest. Not that he knew any of this. Yoongi was blind to the way that you pined after him.

“Y/N, do you have that report ready?” Yoongi’s voice, a honeyed, low sound reverberated in the space above your head, and you looked up, startled. So caught up in the daydream that always took over when you were fresh from the carbload of lunch, you felt yourself heat up as the star of the very daydream held his calloused hand out to you.

“Oh, y-yes, Yoongi-ssi, right here.”

You gathered up the report you had recently stapled and placed it in his waiting hand as he cleared his throat, nimble fingers straightening his tie. How one subtle movement could send your body into overdrive made no sense to you, but his eye contact conveyed so much more than just a look. It filled you with a heat that had nothing to do with the summer temperatures.

“Thank you… I’ll get you when it’s time for the meeting.” His free hand lightly brushed your forearm, lingering, leaving a burning sensation in its wake. You wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in his touch, a fire spreading across your body.

The meeting went off without a hitch, as you knew it would, and slowly you packed up the conference room of the equipment that had been used for the presentation. As the assistant to the project managers, you were privy to all the plans, and knew that you would be working non-stop the next few weeks to help get everything done for the managers. Their project was approved by their CEO, and you knew starting tomorrow, it would be all engines go.

Pushing the cart with the projector and company laptop back out into the hallway, you watched as the managers walked off ahead of you, headed to their separate offices—located next to each other—as you wheeled the tech cart back to the IT wing.

“Thank you so much Jungkook!” You smiled at your best friend of 8 years, who had helped you and one of the other assistants, set up the presentation slides on the new system Jimin had wanted to utilize. A tall, muscular nerd, (who also happened to be dating the other said assistant) your best friend pushed his glasses a little higher up his nose as he took the cart from you.

“Not a problem, babe. Hey.. what did Yoongi think of your skirt?” He whispered, winking at you.

“He didn’t even bat an eye. It’s pointless, Kook. He’s never gonna notice me.” You sigh, bending at the waist to lean against his desk. Your elbows braced your weight as you wiggled your hips.

“Well maybe if you did this little dance for him, he would.”

You laugh.

“No way, so I can get sent to HR for sexual harassment training? Please. That retraining video is a snooze fest.” You continue swaying side to side, more so to stretch out the kink in your lower back from sitting so long working on the presentation than anything, when Jungkook’s eyes grow impossibly bigger. He said nothing though; you assumed he’s reacting to your words about the harassment video. That is, until a voice cut through the silence.

“Y/N, u-uhm.. When you’re done with IT, can you—actually, I can, uhm, I can handle it myself.”

You had just managed to take in the sight of a shocked Min Yoongi, eyes focused on your ass as you put it on display, before he was whirling from the room, his pale porcelain skin a blotchy red.

Jungkook’s laughter cut through the embarrassed silence as you stand up, hands covering your face as you cringe internally at what had just happened. Leaving Jungkook’s office a few minutes later, you couldn’t help but smile a little bit through the mortification at the way Yoongi stuttered as he stared at your ass.

-

“Y/N, can you email me over the notes from the meeting yesterday?” 

Yoongi paused on his way out of the office at your desk, several days after the mishap in Jungkook’s IT department. He hadn’t appeared to be affected when you had seen him back on your side of the building not even 10 minutes after the incident, and had seemed rather nonplussed once you had made it back to your desk and began sorting through your tasks. Now that several days had passed, you had also gone back to acting normal. If normal consisted of the secret pining over your boss and complaining to your best friend and his girlfriend at happy hour that yet again another ploy to catch Yoongi’s eye had failed. 

“I’ll have the info emailed over to you now.”

“Thanks; I’m headed out to grab lunch, do you want anything?”

You smiled at him, shaking your head no. 

“I brought something to eat, but thank you Yoongi-ssi.”

Yoongi began to walk away towards the elevators when he stopped and turned to face you.

“Can you stay late tonight? We have our first deadline for the project and the other two girls can’t stay.” 

You felt your heart—the very one in your chest that had just started to beat faster—slow it’s rate. He had asked the other girls first, and you felt disappointment at being a last minute ask. You were confused at first as to why the other girls couldn’t stay, until you remembered that there were only two of you today anyways; the third being Jungkook’s girlfriend, and they were gone on a “baecation” to Jeju Island for the weekend.

“No problem, boss. Um, actually, can I change my mind about lunch then? I can save this for dinner.”

He nodded and you texted him your order as he walked off.

-

Time seemed to be moving so slowly, but it was already close to 11 PM. The finishing touches on the first assignment were nearly completed, and if anyone were to walk into his office, they would be able to see that it indeed appeared as if work had been happening. Your lunch turned dinner had been eaten around 6, and Yoongi had ordered takeout around 9, of which empty containers now lay abandoned on surfaces, wooden chopsticks haphazardly positioned in them. 

Papers were strewn along the mahogany desk, laid on the floor as well, and you were ready to be done with this task. Leaning over Yoongi’s shoulder, your eyes were narrow as you scanned the final document for mistakes. You braced yourself with your right forearm, left hand on the back of his computer chair. 

This close to him, you could smell his cologne, a deep musk scent with hints of a sweet vanilla like essence. His hair, ruffled by his hands so many times, looked fucked out with sprouts sticking each way. Your eyes drifted to those hands, handling the mouse and resting on the keyboard, and you licked your lips slowly. 

Everything about him was arousing you at this hour, and you wished that he would take notice of the way your blouse had appeared to unbutton more and more as time had crept by tonight. If he would just turn his head slightly to you... the way you were leaning had your breasts dangerously close to making an appearance. Your thoughts of how hot it would be for him to take you on this desk had your arousal leaking, your panties embarrassingly wet as they clung to your skin.

Letting out an intentionally soft sigh, you adjust your hand on the edge of his desk and form your lips to ask a random made up question, anything to get him to look at you, when he does exactly as you had hoped. His face, close to yours, turns to speak, but the words die in his throat as he takes you in. 

“Yoongi?” Your voice is soft, and you end his name with a bite to your bottom lip, a movement that doesn’t go unnoticed by him. You take a deep breath, knowing how your chest must look from his angle, hoping that the rise and fall would push them forward just the right amount.   

“You..” he clears his throat, eyes on your cleavage shamelessly, “—do you know what you do to me when you tease me like this?”

His eyes snap to yours, pulling a startled gasp from your throat and you stutter a response.

“T-Tease you? I—” Yoongi turned in his chair and his fingers gripped your waist as you stood abruptly.

“Yes.” 

That one word was uttered with a growl before he pulled your lips to his. The kiss was sloppy, a mess of lips fervently moving as tongues sought out the taste of each other. You were on fire, his grip pulling you down onto his lap so that you straddled him. His length strained against his pants, the feel of it twitching in time to your moans against your core. You grinded against him as your lips traveled to his neck, and he tilted his head to give you better access. 

“Do you know—fuck—just how badly you drive me crazy. These skirts, unbuttoned shirts, that fucking display in IT the other day..” his low voice panting out that you had successfully gotten to him. You pulled back, lips glossy and pupils dilated, taking in the red across his cheeks.

“That was an accident, I wasn’t trying to tease you then.”

“Just all the other times.” His eyes glinted.

“I..”

“If you wanted me to fuck you, you should’ve just asked.”

He leaned in again, arms wrapped around you as he connected your lips again. You knew you had to be messing up his pants, but neither of you seemed to care. He groaned, lifting you to stand. 

“I need to be inside of you..” He flipped you, so you faced the desk and folded you at the waist. Chest to the desk, he lifted your skirt up. “I’m over you teasing me, babe. Your turn.”

Yoongi eyed your clothed core, taking note of the wetness that clung to it, running his index finger along your slit until he found your swollen nub. Pressing on it, he traced circles, causing you to squirm. He loved seeing you like this, finally, after all the wet dreams of you, he had you like this: a sopping mess on his desk, whining for more.

He kneels, fingers gripping the edge of your panties and in a swift motion he exposes you.

“Fuck, babe, I can’t wait to fill this cunt...”

You flinch as his warm tongue glides from clit to opening, tasting you, leaving you with an unsuspecting smack to your asscheek. You wiggle, more turned on then you imagined you could be and when he groans in appreciation, you clench, needy.

“Please Yoongi, p-please fuck me.”

You hear him stand and undo his pants, whine when he dips two fingers into you and begins to fuck you with them.

“Not what I want,” you complain like the brat you are, and he chuckles darkly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be glad I prepped you.” He scissors his fingers, stretching you as your natural lubricant slickens his fingers. The sound of finger fucking would usually make you blush, but you’re too aroused by the naughtiness of it. Your boss, knuckle deep into your throbbing cunt, his handprint on your ass. 

He spits, and you hear his left hand slide up and down his hardened shaft, the sound intertwined with the squelching between your legs. 

“Fuck me, p-please,” you’re begging now, hands gripping the edge of the desk, and you push back into him when you feel the head of his cock line up with your opening.

“Patience, baby.” Yoongi dips just the tip in, shallow fucking you until you’re practically crying from the taunting stimulation.

“Yoongi, I swear to G—oh!”

Yoongi thrusts into you, and your walls suck him in, sliding him in until he bottoms out, his pelvis snug to your ass, and he groans loudly. His hands knead at your ass, pulling your cheeks apart so he can inch deeper, watching the way you wrap around him so nicely, like you were made to take his cock. He pulls out slowly before slamming his hips back into you, enjoying the way you mewl from his cock kissing your cervix. 

It’s like Yoongi transforms into a feral animal, one stroke inside of you and he’s laying on your back, arms wrapping around you to clutch at your breasts as he pistons his hips, fucking into you with all of the strength his ex-basketball playing thighs carry. You feel him bite your back, your shirt softening the blow, but you clench regardless.

“D-Do that again, sweetheart, fuck that felt so good..”

You clench repeatedly, tightening your grip on him, and he feels so good inside of you, your toes are curling, loud exhalations with every thrust; you’re so close.

“Where, uh, where can I—I’m gonna—”

“Inside me, Yoongi, fuck, fill me up, please Daddy,  I want to be full of you..”

He can feel your legs trembling, but Yoongi wants you to break first.

“Cum on my cock, baby.” Yoongi’s hand drops from your chest and it takes only a few figure eights of his finger on your cllit and you’re bursting, white behind your eyelids as you squeeze them shut. Your body tremors, euphoric sensations traveling to every inch of your body as your muscles spaz, and he’s filling you, his thick seed spurting out and overflowing from your swollen core, running down both of your thighs.

-

You and Yoongi ended up back at his place that night, fucking until Saturday afternoon. Sunday night, you checked your phone and saw a text from Yoongi.

[Yoongi-ssi]

Y/N, please don’t think I didn’t enjoy myself… but it can’t happen again. I’m sorry.

You sat there, staring at your phone rereading the message over and over. He was… rejecting you? You hadn’t even voiced to him your feelings. It wasn’t just sexual attraction to him, but after these years with him, you couldn’t help but to have fallen for him. And now that you’d had him, you were head over heels in love with him, all of him. But clearly he didn’t feel the same.

Monday at work, you were quiet, so unlike your usual self. Listening to Jungkook’s girlfriend talk about their trip to Jeju Island, you felt yourself ruminating on the text Yoongi had sent you. Like you had been all night.

“Y/N, is everything okay?” 

You turn quickly, eyes meeting the worried look of your coworker, nodding as you schooled your facial expressions into something more neutral.

“Yea, I just have a migraine. I’m gonna go talk to Yoongi, see if I can go home early.”

You made your way to Yoongi’s office. Knocking gently, his quiet voice beckoned you into the room.

“Hey, um… I think I need to go home early.”

Yoongi, who had his eyes trained on the computer monitor, looked up at you abruptly.

“Are you.. Is everything okay?” his voice was tinged with concern.

“I just.. I think I need a few days off… away from here.” Away from you. 

“Look, Y/N..” Yoongi stood up, coming over to you. He stood there, quiet, eyes taking you in. “Fuck.”

Yoongi kissed you, and you melted into his hold. His hands grasped your forearms, pulling you closer in to him.

‘This can’t happen again’, happened again. And again, and again.

Secret sex with your boss every so often became an almost everyday occurrence, in his office, in his car, in the morning before work when you woke up in his bed, and now, currently pushed up against the wall of the stall in the men’s bathroom.

Yoongi had your legs around his waist, fucking his cock up into you, one hand over your mouth to stifle the sounds escaping your mouth. He had pulled you in here after the last meeting for the project, a celebratory fuck to commence the end of this very time consuming project. Yoongi walked you towards the stall, wanting to brace you against something so he could chase his high. 

As you came, velvety walls pulsing as you rode out your high, the door to the men’s room swung open, and Yoongi disappeared into the stall just in time. He turned and sat on the lid of the toilet, still holding you tightly to him. Shuddering, the orgasm wracked your body as you could hear two guys talking faintly through the hazy post climax glow. 

“God, she’s so hot, maybe I’ll ask her out..” a voice declared, the sound of pissing filling the room. 

“Y/N would never date you,” the other voice laughed, “she’s way out of your league.” Yoongi’s arms tightened imperceptibly around you as you rested your head on his shoulder. He grips your thighs and continues to thrust into you, close to erupting.

“You know that SooHyun is thinking of asking her out. He’s way more her type than you are.” The sound of zippers quickly sounded before the rush of water as the two men washed their hands.

“Fuck, he totally has a better chance than me. Damn, he’s gonna be clapping her cheeks in no time. Guess I’ll stick to jerking it to pics of her from the Christmas party last year.” The door shut and Yoongi sped up his movements until he came, cock emptying his sticky cum inside of you.

You melt your lips with his, lazily kissing him as you settled from your orgasm.

“You and Soohyun hyung?” Yoongi asked, a twinge of jealousy coming through in his moment of weakness. 

“Hmm, I heard some of the girls saying he was thinking of asking me on a date.” You nuzzled into his neck, kissing soft pecks as he softened inside of you.

“I don’t want you to go.” His voice was barely a whisper, a gravely plea.

You sat up, facing him with a serious look on your face. 

“I mean, is there something holding me back? A reason to say no?”

“Do you, uh, do you want there to be?”

His deep Americano eyes meet yours, and you nod, not trusting yourself to speak.

“Then let me be the reason. Go out with me.”

You smile softly threading your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and causing him to shiver.

“Okay.”

-

You walk back to your office area, fingers intertwined with Yoongi’s, no longer a secret between the two of you as the office gawks at their very quiet and calm boss with the office babe, Soohyun looking a little put out that you were no longer available.