#I mean I went to an urgent care like two years ago

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Oh.

I am going to the doctor on Tuesday :(

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

RTA, was Catherine treated for cancer or pre-cancer cells? Royal Reporter Rhiannon Mills wrote that "In March the princess confirmed that pre-cancerous cells had been found following abdominal surgery and that she would have to undergo a course of preventative chemotherapy." Kensington Palace never corrected that statement by Rhiannon Mills. I admire Catherine a lot but her two video statements to the public on her health left me confused so I thought I would ask you for clarification. Thanks!

Let's work through it step by step. I'll bold the timeline so if you don't care about analysis or explanation, you can scroll through quickly.

In January 2024, KP announced that Kate was undergoing a planned abdominal surgery.

Now, "planned surgery" has confused a lot of people, especially after KP announced in December 2023 that William and Kate were planning a visit to Italy at the request of the Foreign Office. If they knew Kate was having surgery in January, why did they announce the trip?

So all that "planned surgery" means is that Kate was under doctor's care for a medical condition and for whatever reason - either exploratory (e.g., she's had an issue for a long time, nothing's worked, let's open you up and see what's going on) or emergent (e.g., bloodwork came back wonky or new symptoms developed that only surgery could address) - they scheduled her for surgery.

Here's an example of planned emergent surgery. Many years ago on a Saturday afternoon, I - a professional klutz - badly hurt my ankle falling down the stairs. I went to urgent care believing it was a bad sprain, only to find out that it was actually a very bad break that most likely needed surgery to fix. Urgent Care referred me to an orthopedic surgeon. We called the orthopedic surgeon Monday morning, they fit me in Monday afternoon, and at the appointment, the orthopedic surgeon said "yeah, you really need surgery. I'm not in the OR until Thursday but my partner is operating tomorrow and he can fit you in in the morning." I said "Sign me up for tomorrow, doc." So even though the cause for my surgery was emergent, it was still a planned surgery because it was scheduled in advance.

An emergency surgery is when you're rushed to the hospital (usually an emergency room) and they roll you right into the operating room after being evaluated.

So all that said, it's likely that whatever medical issue Kate was having, the initial expectation was that her surgery would be an easy-breezy-outpatient cake with just a few days at home to rest and then back to work and onwards to Italy. Except it wasn't because KP announced Kate's recovery time was going to take a good several weeks and her and William's schedules were cleared.

At the end of March 2024, Kate announced that her condition had actually been cancerous and she was undergoing preventative chemotherapy.

Here's what she actually said: “In January, I underwent major abdominal surgery in London and at the time, it was thought that my condition was non-cancerous. The surgery was successful. However, tests after the operation found cancer had been present. My medical team therefore advised that I should undergo a course of preventative chemotherapy and I am now in the early stages of that treatment."

The read-between-the-lines is that whatever procedure Kate had done, it was totally routine and something had been removed, which was sent for biopsy, which concluded cancer was present, and further testing (most likely bloodwork and/or additional scans) determined that no other cancerous cells had been detected. And while the testing determined no other cancerous cells had been, Kate's medical team did a risk assessment and most likely they felt that there was a good risk that cancer could continue developing so they prescribed preventative chemotherapy to decrease that risk.

Now the issue is that "preventative chemotherapy" is a bit of a misnomer. The actual medical term is "adjuvant chemotherapy" ('preventative chemotherapy' is the colloquial everyman non-medical term), which is when a patient undergoes chemotherapy after a primary course of treatment to kill remaining cancer cells or to reduce the risk of cancer returning or spreading.

In Kate's case, the surgery she had in January ended up being the primary treatment to her cancer. She then underwent chemotherapy to reduce the risk of that cancer returning.

Kate's statement also revealed two other things about her condition:

That whatever Kate's initial issue was (the one that led to the surgery in the first place), the surgery addressed it and that problem was no longer afflicting her.

Preventative/adjuvant chemotherapy is a popular treatment for cancer of the breast, lung, bowel, and ovaries. Since KP and Kate both confirmed it was "abdominal surgery," we can probably safely conclude that whatever Kate's condition, it was related to her bowels/intestines.

In June 2024, Kate released a second statement about her treatment to manage everyone's expectations about her attendance at Trooping.

She said: I have been blown away by all the kind messages of support and encouragement over the last couple of months. It really has made the world of difference to William and me and has helped us both through some of the harder times. I am making good progress, but as anyone going through chemotherapy will know, there are good days and bad days. On those bad days you feel weak, tired and you have to give in to your body resting. But on the good days, when you feel stronger, you want to make the most of feeling well. My treatment is ongoing and will be for a few more months. On the days I feel well enough, it is a joy to engage with school life, spend personal time on the things that give me energy and positivity, as well as starting to do a little work from home.

I'm looking forward to attending The King's Birthday Parade this weekend with my family and hope to join a few public engagements over the summer, but equally knowing I am not out of the woods yet. I am learning how to be patient, especially with uncertainty. Taking each day as it comes, listening to my body, and allowing myself to take this much needed time to heal. Thank you so much for your continued understanding, and to all of you who have so bravely shared your stories with me.

For me, this message is very much targeted to the press and the public who may think her appearance at Trooping means everything is all good and she's back to work. I also feel like it is a very direct response to criticism that she isn't really sick if she's out and about smiling in public - and it's also probably the most direct response we've ever seen Kate give to the media since begging the paparazzi to leave her alone in her 20s.

In August 2024, Rebecca English revealed that Kate had been unwell long before January's procedure.

For me, Becky's article confirms that the January surgery was probably exploratory after other treatments didn't work.

And also for me, Becky's article is a KP-sanctioned clapback to more criticism of the "if she's well enough to go to Wimbledon, she's well enough to work" variety. I don't want to say it's a complete defense of Kate and KP's handling of her health issues (because her discussion of the Waleses' summer activities - though well-intentioned - further supports the workshy narrative that's dogged William and Kate since they married) but it does serve as a follow-up to Kate's June message about what her progress has been like and is another attempt to manage expectations about Kate's return to work.

In September 2024, Kate announced that she had completed her chemotherapy and was in a new phase of recovery and convalescence, and starting to look forward.

She said: As the summer comes to an end, I cannot tell you what a relief it is to have finally completed my chemotherapy treatment. The last nine months have been incredibly tough for us as a family...Doing what I can to stay cancer free is now my focus. Although I have finished chemotherapy, my path to healing and full recovery is long and I must continue to take each day as it comes.

Kate's use of the phrase "stay cancer free" likely means she will be under closer medical observation for the next several years. Whether that means more scans and tests to monitor her condition or medication she needed to take or substantial life changes she needs to make, all of that counts as work towards "stay[ing] cancer free". So Kate may be out of the woods as far as the initial diagnosis or emergency may go, but she still has a long road ahead of her in terms of recovery.

In fact, medical practice requires a patient to be in complete remission for five years to be considered cured of cancer so I suspect that may be what Kate is referring to, albeit in plainer non-medical language.

Shortly after Kate's statement, on September 9, 2024, Rhiannon Mills (reporting for Sky News) recapped Kate's condition.

She said: "In March the princess confirmed that pre-cancerous cells had been found following abdominal surgery and that she would have to undergo a course of preventative chemotherapy."

On November 11, 2024, Sky News republished Rhiannon's September 9th article to say "In March, the princess confirmed she was having preventative chemotherapy after cancer was found in tests."

The edit has caused conspiracy theorists all over the internet to pick up the story and begin accusing KP/Kate of faking cancer again because "pre-cancerous cells" isn't actually cancer. It's cells that could turn cancerous and even still, preventative chemotherapy is a proper course of treatment to address pre-cancerous cells.

But here's the thing. Out of everyone that was being briefed by KP and out of everyone who has access to royal and royal-adjacent circles, Rhiannon Mills is the only one to say "pre-cancerous cells." Everyone else cited Kate's own words and KP's own announcement. That's a big hint right there that Rhiannon and Sky News messed up.

And also, before KP released Kate's statement in March, others on the rota - including Bower (who specifically said this on television) - were hinting that Kate's surgery had been very serious, her condition was serious though not fatal, and the public would be shocked if we knew what they knew. That's not pre-cancerous cells.

So for me, all signs point to yes, Kate actually did have cancer. She didn't know she had cancer until whatever her surgeons removed in January 2024 was biopsied. She most likely underwent further tests after the biopsy results came back and those tests concluded cancer was no longer present but yet her doctors still advised preventative/adjuvant chemotherapy to reduce the risk of cancer returning or spreading. So that could mean that whatever additional tests Kate had done identified pre-cancerous cells or it could just mean that the doctors felt "this is the Princess of Wales, the future queen. We should give her the best treatment possible to ensure she remains healthy, which is preventative/adjuvant chemotherapy."

(Preventative precaution is the same reason Camilla had a hysterectomy in 2007; she's had several gynecological issues that could have developed into a bigger problem so rather than to "wait and see," her doctors advised hysterectomy. It really honestly is par for the course not just for women in the monarchy but for all women - and men too - who want to do everything they can to remain healthy. It’s why we get knees and hips replaced and we get cataracts removed and some women choose mastectomies despite having no diagnosis when there’s a family history of breast cancer or they have the BRCA gene, etc.)

What a lot of the conspiracy theorists and trolls are dismissing is that when you have cancer but you don't know it, you're still a cancer patient. When you have cancer and it's eradicated by whatever combination of treatments, you're still a cancer patient. When you've been diagnosed with pre-cancerous cells and your doctors prescribe preventative chemotherapy, you're still a chemotherapy patient. When you're going through a shitty time but you still show up for your family with a smile on your face because cameras are going to be there, your troubles are still there even if no one else sees it.

So I think Rhiannon Mills mispoke and no one caught it until just now when everyone was pouring over all the statements Kate has made in light of a very glamorous and normal (if you will) appearance on Saturday night while being pictured on Sunday looking tired and run-down.

But of course, YMMV.

And also, even Page Six has come to Kate's defense, saying that "Sky News correspondent Rhiannon Mills erroneously reported at the time that 'pre-cancerous cells had been found' in Middleton as opposed to the royal battling cancer." And when Page Six is defending the Waleses (considering that they're on the Sussexes' payroll), I really do lean towards Rhiannon Mills screwing up and no one catching it until the article started getting traction amongst the conspiracy theorists and trolls.

[cybiirz]

ೃ⁀➷ THE FACADE OF A PUPPETEER

Wriothesley x Fem!reader

Sypnosis : Many moons ago, you were sent to the Fortress Of Meropide for a number of crimes, ones that even criminals would name you evil for. However, even with your already busted up reputation upon entry, in a few short years, you had managed to become one of the most respected prisoners in the Fortress. Your ways were unquestioned by others, but not by the Warden himself. That is what caused you to be stuck having a tea party with the man. Although his attempt at fishing the information out of you seemed unsuccessful at first, it seems you were becoming excited to see where this would lead. But maybe there was also another operation happening, one where your true self would have to finally be revealed.

WC : 1.7K

WARNINGS : Mentions of murder, Wriothesley might be a little ooc idk, reader is manipulative, not rlly much else

A prison warden such as himself would typically be considered strict, would he not? Well, he went against those expectations, mostly. He was surprisingly a kind soul compared to many of the other guards considering the fact that he actually cared for the prisoners well being.

But there was one inmate who just constantly got under his skin. You. In all fairness, you were actually quite the intelligent woman. In the few years you had been pretty much living here, you had already managed to gain many others' trust.

That didn’t mean you were kind though, all inmates had a side of theirs with some evil intent, otherwise they wouldn’t be here. The way you had climbed the ranks seemed to be legit on the outside, but Wriothesley had become curious and did some digging of his own.

And lo and behold, the sweet lady who was too kind for her own good was one of the most deceitful people he’s ever heard of. Gaining coupons by simple pick pocketing wasn’t unheard of, but he had learnt that you were too advanced to participate in such a measly method.

No, instead you would manage to get your hands on other’s coupons through secret events. Small competitions were held that were supposedly led by different people each time. But there was always a mastermind behind the puppet. That mastermind was unknown to the public.

Every person who hosted said competitions seemed to have no links towards each other whatsoever. What no one else knew however was that they all led back to one person, and that person would be in charge of the coupons gained. It was almost like gambling, stupid people would bet their coupons and would either win or lose.

But you were not one to rig such games, goodness no. That would be diabolical. All you had was lady luck by your side. But Wriothesley didn’t buy it, for he had figured out that you practically ran the prison without people being aware. The amount of coupons had earned you respect and power, the two things that could easily become others' downfall.

Which is why he was surprised you hadn’t fallen just yet. The warden had become increasingly suspicious of your activities and would always be on the watch for you. But no matter how hard he tried, your facade of being this gentle soul was always up and about. He had to catch you some other way. Which is how you ended up here.

“Good evening, your Grace. Is this an urgent matter, because I highly doubt you would call someone into your office for a small debuckle,” You questioned the man as you finally stepped onto the floor of his office. Wriothesley sat there with one elbow propped on the arm of the chair and the other flat against the opposite arm.

“No no, nothing you need to be too worried about. Come, take a seat,” He gestured towards the chair in front of him as he stood up and made his way over to the shelf. “May I interest you in some tea?” He asked, his back facing you.

“I’ll pass unfortunately, I recently ate something from the cafeteria so i’m quite full up myself,” You politely declined his offer before taking a seat onto the cushioned stool. You crossed one leg over the other as you placed both hands into your lap.

“Suit yourself. Now, I don’t mean to waste your time here, but I would like to give you some…praise,” He commented as he began to heat up a kettle and grab a tea cup from the shelf. You raised an eyebrow.

“May I ask what for? I do not recall doing something explicitly amazing,” You replied in honest confusion. You heard him let out a chuckle as he poured the hot water into the cup and placed the bag into the liquid.

“Yes I suppose you’re right. What you have done isn’t explicit to anyone else. And it is rather impressive how fast you have managed to gain coupons here,” He took a seat, now sitting opposite you as he spread his legs to get comfier into the chair. Surprisingly, it was weirdly attractive.

“Ah yes, I consider myself astronomically lucky with the amount of coupons I have gained so far. Not to mention the friends I made along the way,” Your response was confident and bright. Just the behaviour he expected.

“Mhm, most people would call it luck as well. However, based on my observation, I would call it something different,” His eyes bore into yours as the two of you made direct eye contact.

“Oh? And what would you call it sir?” You asked in a low tone. The two of you were both aware that he was onto you, but playing along wouldn’t hurt you.

“Pure strategy. From the moment you stepped onto these grounds, you had a plan in mind. One that would immediately raise you to be a respected person which I admire. My only question is, what are the chances you could give me every step of that plan right here and now?” This caused you to become slightly bewildered. He wanted to know your plan?

“And what exactly would that gain you?” You replied. He let out another short laugh before leaning forward slightly.

“It doesn’t need to gain me anything. All I want to know about is the brain behind that beauty of yours,” His remark was shamelessly flirtatious.

“Do you believe that simple flattery will get you anywhere, warden? Do not forget, you are also a prisoner here, all you have earned is the privilege to this fortress’s budget and management. I do not think you deserve my plans. Now if you will excuse me, there is a sparring match in the Pankration Ring which I would rather not miss,” As you began to stand up and dust off your clothing, you made your way towards the steps.

But before you could even step foot onto the metal, a shadow came up behind you before a voice practically rumbled against the walls.

“I don’t believe we have finished this conversation yet,” Wriothesley’s voice was intimidating to say the least, but you immediately retracted your foot and turned your head over your shoulder before turning back to face him again.

You reached out and grabbed the loose tie of his. “Tell you what, how about you let me go and see that match that I have just been dying to experience,” You tightened the red material before patting the knot and felt part of his rough skin against your hands. “And then you can take me on a date and we continue this later under…different circumstances hm?”

Your eyes turned up to face him as you put on that innocent act. Archons, he didn’t expect your teasing to have this much effect on him. Nevertheless, he decided to go along with it.

“I’ll pick you up at 5:30 sharp. Dress pretty, I like girls who put in effort,” He brought his face closer to yours as you felt his breath just brushing your lips. The tension was so thick that you’d practically need a sword to cut through it.

“Count on it,” Your reply was short before you turned away again, making your way down the steps. Wriothesley eyed your figure down as you finally disappeared from his line of sight. Once you did, he went back to his table and picked up a document.

“(Name) (Last Name)

Convicted for first degree murder of *********, ********* and *******.

Danger : Extreme. Do not let her number of facades fool you. Lay low and do not interact, instead observe from a distance. She is evil and we sent her to the Fortress Of Meropide for you to straighten this demon out. Do not disappoint us warden.”

“So much for laying low…” Wriothesley mumbled to himself. How on earth was he going to change your ways…?

A/N : Yeahhh so it’s been about 2-3 weeks since I wrote smth so i’m very sorry for that. I don’t really know how to continue Gepard’s series but I definitely want to. If anyone wants to pitch any ideas, please do. But I am going to be occupied with a bunch of upcoming tests for the next week or two. Until then, i’ll most likely write headcannons, oneshots and maybe some short fics for whatever character you guys want. Apologies again for the long break.

[gaysullengirl]

𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞, 𝐭𝐞𝐧. i know what its like

❝ i'm tired of feeling like im fucking crazy. ❞

- lana del rey, ride

    "Reid." Hotch narrowed his eyes at him, "I apologize." Hotch continued.

"I don't." Spencer mumbled, just loud enough for Isabelle to hear, she bit her lip to stop a laugh from slipping out.

"We've heard those phrases before When we interview school shooters." Isabelle explained to the oblivious counselor.

Emily rushed into the room, "Jordan was the motive for Kyle Borden, it was revenge."

"I need to speak to the boys who made this video immediately."

"I'll check their class schedules." The counselor scrambled to his computer to find out, his face dropped immediately, "What is it?"

"None of them show up at school."

୨୧

The local police station smelled of finger printing ink and old coffee, Isabelle enjoyed the smell, it reminded her of when she was a detective for the nypd.

The team heard the familiar sound of Garcia urgently typing on her computer through the phone call, "He deleted everything but the one mpeg." She sighed.

"I'm walking Morgan through retrieving what he put in the trash, but-"

"We've got three missing kids, Garcia, we need access to Owen's E-Mail." Hotch clenched his jaw.

"The kid is tech savvy, sir, but fret not, I am tech savvier!" She exclaimed, "Is that a word? That sounds like a word, if it is a word, I am it!"

"Two alienated kids, no maternal presence, dysfunctional relationships with dominating fathers who with held love, they were made for each other." Rossi said.

Emily shook her head, "Mm, as lovers, yes, but partners in crime, no."

"There's nothing in Jordan's profile that indicates she's capable of violence, and certainly not murder."

"A new mpeg just posted to the school social networking site." Garcia breathed heavily, "He- you need to see this."

A video popped up on the screen, it was of three boys, all on their knees while their hands were on their head infront on a lake.

"It was a joke, man!" One of the boys said, "We didn't mean anything by it!" Another boy shouted, "It was 3 years ago, no one even remembers it." The last boy argued.

"I do." A voice behind the camera said.

"No, owen!" "Don't! Don't!" "Please! No-" The three boys pleaded, they were cut off by gunshots ringing out.

"Garcia, is there any way to trace the mpeg to the computer that sent it?"

୨୧

"Once you've heard the profile, you'll understand." Jj told the officers that were gathered around.

Hotch, Rossi, and Spencer went to the scene where the boys were killed and figured out Owen was collecting injustices- the perfect revenge.

"We are wasting time, Owen is here, and we should be knocking on doors." An officer argued. 

"It's not a good idea." "And why is that?" "Because Owen's watching, he's monitoring the news, right now, he thinks you think he's gone, he feels safe."

"If we start knocking on doors, he's gonna know that he's not, he's gonna feel trapped."

"Why the hell should we care about this little bastard's feelings?" Another officer chimed in.

Isabelle gritted her teeth, "We're here to help you bring in Owen Savage with minimum loss of life, the profile tells us how to do that, if all you're gonna do is bitch and complain then you can leave." She scoffed.

Spencer smiled at her, "Owen Savage fits the profile of a type of school shooter known as an injustice collector, he's trying to avenge perceived wrongs."

"If he's a school shooter, why hasn't he hit the school yet?"

"Jordan. Most of these guys are so angry and hopeless, they just want to kill as many people as possible then commit suicide." Emily explained.

"But Jordan gives him a reason to live."

Isabelle glanced at Spencer 'He gives me a reason to live.' She thought.

Isabelle hated that in so twisted way she related to Owen- she almost felt bad for him in a way.

Growing up in a small town and constantly being the outsider- no matter how hard he tried to fit in and find the acceptance of his peers he never did.

"Otherwise he's a textbook case, his life was one torment after another, his teachers gave up on him, his classmates bullied him, and his father blamed him while giving him access to guns." Spencer said.

"Given these conditions, you're actually quite fortunate." He added.

"It sounds like you're saying these victims deserved this."

"We're not, nobody deserves this." Derek said.

"But you could have prevented it." Spencer lowered his eyes at the officer.

"Reid, can I talk to you?" Hotch said, it was framed as a question but was more of a statement.

The two walked into an empty conference room only a few moments later they exited, Spencer stormed to the exit of the precinct.

Isabelle walked over to Hotch, "He's going to the Savages' residence." Hotch whispered, his eyes still focused on Spencer.

"Can I go with him?" She asked, Hotch's eyes darted to her face, profiling her.

"It's just- his room was really interesting and insightful, his mirror was painted over indicating severe self hatred-" "You can go." Hotch cut her off.

Isabelle quickly ran to the parking lot, getting into the suv parked outside.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked, "I'm going with you. Hotch said I could."

Spencer just nodded and started driving.

A few minutes into the drive he turned to Isabelle, "I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind." He admitted.

Isabelle immediately faced him, "I'm not." She lied, she wasn't just trying to convince him but herself as well.

Isabelle hated feeling crazy, when her feeling controlled her rather than her controlling them.

"I've seen the way you've been reacting this whole case." He looked to her.

"Isa, honey, I know you."

authors note!

sorry for the short chapter, next one will be longer trust🤞also i'm finally done with my school year so more consistent updates are afoot!

[secretlythepits]

Scary Halloween

My 15 year old struggled with Halloween this year. Same thing happened when my other kid was 15. He couldn’t come up with a costume because the teen side felt too old, while the kid side wanted to go trick-or-treating. He’s always had the offbeat costume everyone talks about and couldn’t just grab something easy, but also couldn’t put the effort into coming up with a cool idea. All month I nudged and was rejected. I think this is the hardest age for Halloween. 14–15, because they haven’t transitioned to adult like parties so they just feel self-conscious but sad because they want to have fun like a kid.

Anyway, I finally got him to admit he would be sad if he didn’t go 2 days ago. We threw together a pumpkin head mask and a witches hat we already had. Dressed all in black, it was pretty cool, but this kid has never worn a mask. He hardly went to any houses before he stopped. It was one of those moments that you know is a mistake (self-sabotage) but I couldn’t prevent him from making it. His older brother wouldn’t take him out with his friends, which I had pushed for (something I never do) and I think that would have helped, but I didn’t feel like it was appropriate to order him to take his brother.

Anyway, kid comes home and is dejected. My husband and I felt awful. Finally thought of an idea to save the night. Let’s watch a Halloween movie, but nothing scary because he doesn’t like scary. Ghostbusters! I’ve never seen it and neither has he. It’s surprising funny. He is eating his tiny haul of candy and we are laughing. I’m feeling so good about this because it was such a turnaround. Husband is enjoying himself too.

Then husband goes to lock the back door. He has a coughing fit, completely loses consciousness and falls, landing hip and then head on the only room in our house that has a tile floor.

So fccking scary!

Two days ago we had a fight. He was mean to me when I pushed him to go to the doctor about coughing. It felt like I got pertussis again last week, which doesn’t make sense because I just had it. Then the kids started getting that very distinctive cough. It occurred to me that perhaps the bacteria was mutating in his body since he hasn’t cleared the infection in 8 weeks. I remembered learning that it’s in immunocompromised hosts that viruses mutate during Covid. Same thing happens with bacteria.

I’ve been to 2 urgent cares this week and fought with doctors over this. Apparently they only test for pertussis at hospitals and we just have coughs that aren’t that bad, so I’m not going there. Anyway, I know the antibiotics you need so I pushed for them. I know the doctors thought of me as THAT mom, but we hardly ever have antibiotics. This was the second and third times in my children’s lives that they’ve gotten them, because I really feel in my gut that it’s pertussis.

My husband hasn’t told his doctors about how bad his cough continues to be. He’s been seeing them irregularly since the main treatment ended and he cancels two check in appointments as a waste of time. I’ve let him be in the driver’s seat. But when we got sick, I told him he really needs to let his doctors know. We can’t just endlessly get sick from him and his medical team is not aware of how bad this is. He got mad because I’m weird about health stuff. This is true, but I also find myself in unique health dilemmas, where I’m just to the side of normal and no doctor will take enough time to listen and get the whole complicated picture. It’s incredibly frustrating for me. I constantly wish Dr. House was on the case, because I need a medical expert who really wants to get to the bottom of what’s going on.

As a side note, I figured out why weird health issues happen to me. There is a perfectly clear reason if you look at my astrological chart (6th house Aquarius) but I did not bring that nugget up to him since that would have sealed the deal on me being crazy about health stuff.

The thing is, I just know I’m right about this. We have a guest coming next week and I don’t want to get her sick. My children attend a school where kids are bussed in from every high school in Miami. It would be wildly irresponsible to not try to stop the spread of a highly infectious disease that is on the rise in our community. Doctors aren’t used to treating it in teens and adults. But we have been exposed to so much coughing from my husband that it is possible that this much exposure broke through vaccinations. Our health care system is so fragmented that no doctor will see our family as the ecosystem it is. My kids had to go to a different urgent care than me because of different insurance. I am the only person seeing the whole picture.

Anyway, my husband apologized yesterday morning. It’s so hard for him to talk. He has been in a dark place with his mortality. He’s been having pains he hasn’t told me about that terrify him. Our disagreement was the outlet for so many bad feelings. He got his medical card and has been taking gummies to sleep. He feels like any time he smiles, he’s faking it. It was very sad.

That was the morning. I figured I’d bring up going to the doctor about his cough again the next day, it being Halloween and all.

Then he fell.

It wasn’t an emergency. He’s still asleep so I’ll see the bruise this morning. An odd angle of his hip took the brunt of the fall. His head didn’t seem to bother him last night.

But like, he could have just crashed his skull open if he had landed differently. How do we live with this?

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Mammal bias is certainly A Thing. It's honestly kinda gross ngl. Insofar as the fact it's easier to find suppliers of needed items, I'm lucky to only have a bird. It's so frustrating to see "pets" sections in stores and only have cat and dog* food/toys. Even pet stores like Petsmart/PetCo etc have a horribly limited section. I went to PetCo a few months ago to look for (wild) bird seed, and no shit their bird section was 2ft by 4ft. They didn't carry toys for much bigger than a cockatiel and the treats were all shit. No actual bird seed, for pet or otherwise. I'm very lucky that I've always lived rather close (under a 40 minute drive) to parrot specialty stores the whole time I've had my bird, and thank fuck he's never needed urgent medical care. I don't want to have to go through the process of going to vets, finding out they won't see a bird, and then having to find an exotic animal clinic in my area.

As a bit of a tangent but still related, it's infuriating how chain pet stores sell the most horrible bird toys. You can bet your ass that aaaaaaallllll the cat and dog toys have been certified safe, but the bird toys? Flimsy plastic everywhere, cheap bells, those STUPID MINKY HAMMOCKS* It's fucking disgusting and is setting up bird owners who don't know any better to have their birds hurt. To be fair, anyone owning any pet should do their research before hand (I'd been doing pretty constant research for two or three years before I got my cockatiel), but that's not an excuse. There's people who won't do that. And even if they did, what if someone else goes out to get something for the bird and they don't know better?

And all this from just a bird owner! Birds are one of the more common "exotic" pets! I can't imagine what it's like for someone owning a reptile, or literally anything else

*Yes, I understand it's because they're the most popular pets. that doesn't mean other pets don't exist, or that they don't deserve as much care * If you're unaware - Minky is a type of fabric, it's very short and is very soft. It's very easy for birds to get their claws stuck in this material and end up hurting themselves

I have nothing to add to this other than complete agreement as a fellow bird caretaker. It's a mess. A wholeass mess. I will simply leave this here for posterity and education.

Our birds deserve better.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Soulmate/ 2

Pairing- Hobi x Named Reader

Word count- 3.3k

Includes- Flash back, first time, fingering, oral, pussy eating, blow job, cum eating, missionary, multiple orgasm

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝BTS Masterlist 📝Hobi Masterlist

J POV

I wake up cuddled next to Hobi on his bed

I smile and take a second to look at him

At my boyfriend

He's so beautiful, hot, adorable, handsome and sexy all at the same time

And he's mine

All mine

He looks so innocent when he's sleeping

But I know he's not

He can be a bad ass when he wants to be

I found that out when we were eighteen

~Flashback~

Hobi and I are in his room goofing off, when we were supposed to be studying

"So your date with Jungkook went no where huh?"

I snort, "Nope. He was too shy to even hold my hand. He's sweet but not for me."

Jungkook was a guy in one of my classes

He's a year younger than me but he was taking advanced classes

I had a huge crush on him and I was elated when I found out he had a crush on me too

It took him two weeks to come and ask me out

We went on a date a week and a half ago

It was my first real date

Jungkook took me to eat and to a movie

He was so shy and blushed a lot

I felt bad for him

The next day at school, Jungkook told me that he had a nice time with me but that he wasn't ready for a girlfriend yet

I understood and told him it was ok

I told Hobi this and he hasn't stopped teasing me since

"You would have eaten him alive.", Hobi snickers

"Wow thanks a lot", I roll my eyes

"Seriously can any guy handle you?",he jokes

"The right one can"

"Well I'd like to meet him and tell him good luck"

Ironic that he's now the right one that can

"So there's something that you don't know", I tease him

"Yea ok. Nice try Jo."

"It happened today so how can you know?", I exclaim

He narrows his eyes, "What happened?"

"You know that hot guy Jin?", I ask

"Ah yeah, the guy you have your eye on now that Jungkook is out of the picture."

I stick my tongue out at him

"You child", he laughs

"He kissed me."

Hobi stops laughing, "He what? Why?"

"Really Hobi? Why?", I snap, "God, I'm not a troll you know."

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant why did he kiss you out of nowhere?"

"It wasn't out of nowhere. We were talking and he said he liked me and he kissed me.", I answer

"So, did you like it?", he asks

"Yea I guess. I don't have anything to compare it to."

Hobi's eyes bugged out, "That was your first kiss?"

"Um yea", I say confused

"Big bad new yorker who was sent to Korea by her mom had never kissed anyone before?", he teases

"Hey, I may have been a bad kid but I wasn't a slut", I growl, "And I can still kick your ass, so watch it."

Hobi smiles, "I'm just teasing you Jo."

"Well stop it", I say, feeling inadequate compared to him

I know he's kissed girls before so he has more experience with that than I do

We're quiet for a few minutes, as I try to quell my wounded pride

The Hobi gets up and walks to where I'm sitting

I look up at him, wondering what the hell he's doing now

He leans down and kisses me on the lips

I'm absolutely dumbfounded when he pulls away

"What was that for?", I ask

He shrugs, "Something to compare your first kiss to"

"Oh"

He smirks, then leans down and kisses me again but this time more urgently

I feel his tongue lick my lip and I open my mouth to let him in

He puts his hands around me and I pull him closer

I lay back on his bed and he goes on top of me

Hobi kisses me again and it's amazing

Well as amazing as it can be with me only kissing two guys

But Jin didn't tongue me like Hobi and honestly it turns me on so much

As we kiss, his hand reaches down and he grabs my ass

And I like it

My hands are roaming his back while his other hand grabs one of my boobs

I honestly don't care

Everything he's doing felt so good

When he starts to put his hand under my shirt, he stops

"Uh..maybe..maybe we should stop", he stutters

"Do you want to?", I ask

"Nnn..n...no.", he answers, shaking his head

"Then don't", I whisper

He looks down at me, surprised, "Are...are you sure?"

I looked him in the eyes and said, "I don't want you to stop Hoseok."

I don't know if it was what I said or if it was that I used his full name but he kisses me more passionately than before

His hand moves under my shirt and he grabs my boob while I feel something poking me in my leg

Holy shit, I made him hard

Me

Feeling that got me riled up and I feel myself wetting my underwear

I really don't want him to stop

I just go with what I'm feeling and I grab his shirt, pulling it over his head

I take a look at him, my mouth dropping

Wow

Hobi is skinny but he had muscles from dancing

He looks down at me and closes his eyes as I touch his chest, shoulders and abs

His skin is soft, so smooth, so pretty

Looking up into his beautiful brown eyes, I reach up, pull him down to me and kiss him

Hobi responds and kisses me hard, his tongue playing with mine as he reaches for my shirt

"Off", he murmurs

He stops kissing me as the shirt goes over my head but then immediately crashes his lips against mine, the shirt discarded on his floor

He holds me up against him and his other going around my back, pulling on my bra clasp

It's not coming off and he's getting frustrated

He growls pulling hard and I hear the fabric rip as he tears it off my body, throwing it behind him

Holy shit that's hot

Even though he fucked up my bra

I lay back down, his eyes roaming my body

"Wow", he breathes, trailing his hand down the tattoo on my side, "I didn't know you had this too."

I shiver under his touch, loving his fingers on my body

"It's beautiful, like you", he says

Then as if he realizes what he just said he looks away and blushes

"It's ok Hobi. I think you're beautiful too", I confess

"Yeah right"

"I'm serious. You're one of the most good looking guys I've ever seen."

He smiles and blushes again, "Thanks Jo"

He leans back down and kisses me, his hand going down to my sweatpants and stops right above it

"Don't stop", I whisper and he nods

He slides his hand down my pants and underwear

The second he touches me, I let out a moan

"Fuck", he says as he touches me, "You're so wet"

I just nod because yes I am

He puts one of his fingers inside me and I yell because of how good it feels

I feel my pussy clench hard around his fingers making him groan

He starts moving his hands and holy shit it felt amazing

He puts another finger in and I squirm under his touch

I open my eyes and see him just staring down at me, watching me react to what he's doing to me

"More Hobi.", I whisper, "More"

He takes his hand out of my pants and moves over me, his hands rapidly pulling them off me

He grabs at my panties, pulling it off slowly

Once he gets them off, he stares at me, laying naked in his bed

And I see his huge hard-on through his sweat pants

I don't know what he's gonna do and all I can do is wait

He kisses me again briefly, then sitting up, he opens my legs, leans down and licks me

"Fuck!", I scream

Hobi looks up and smirks before he lays on his stomach and goes back to licking me, his tongue running slowly up and down my pussy

Oh my fucking god

I had no idea I could feel this way

Or that Hobi could make me feel this way

I hear him moan as he continues and that gets me off more

His tongue swirls around my cunt, moving faster and faster with every pass on me

I can't help it, my hips involuntarily move up into his face

'Shit', I think, embarrassed

Until Hobi says, "Do it again"

Seriously?

But I listen and do it again

"Again"

My hips go up again as he continues to lick me all over

"Don't stop", he says, his mouth wrapping around my clit and sucking

Stars burst in my vision as intense pleasure hits me so hard

I've never felt anything like this before

I keep fucking his face, gripping his hair hard as he sucks on my clit, feeling myself building up to explode

He sucks one more time and pure euphoria hits my body as I cum for the first time

"Hobi! Fuck Hobi!, I cry, feeling his tongue move back to my hole, licking furiously

"Fuck", I hear Hobi whisper, "She tastes so good" he whispers, his tongue moving me

"Ahhhh" I moan, looking down and watching him swallow my cum

He looks so fucking hot in between my legs, I can't

My body collapses when I finish and Hobi stops

He looks up at me and smirks, then gives me one long lick before he gets up, causing me to moan again

I'm breathing heavily but I get up and I'm pulling his pants off

Once they're off I look down

"Holy shit", I blurt out staring

"Uh, what's wrong?", Hobi asks nervous

"You're fucking huge Hobi"

I've seen other guys before

In porn, when asshole guys as school used to flash me, when I got dumb dick pics I never asked for

I know that porn is unrealistic and I can't go by that

But Hobi is really big, bigger than any of those assholes who flashed me or sent me pics

"Um really?", Hobi asks shyly

"Yes Hobi. I wouldn't lie to you"

I go closer to him and kiss him

While kissing him, I slide my hand down and wrap my hand around his dick

When I touch him, he breathes in sharply

I start to move my hand and he gasps, his eyes closing

Like he did, I watch him as I move my hand up and down

I don't know what anyone else looks like but Hobi looks so beautiful with his eyes closed, head tilted back and his mouth slightly open.

I move him so that he was laying on his back and doesn't fall off the bed

That'd be bad

I start to kiss down his neck, his shoulders, his chest moving lower and lower

When I get to where I want to be, Hobi looks down at me and says "J..jjj...jo. You don't have.."

"Shhh", I tell him

Then I put my mouth on his head and suck

"Oh my god!", he yells

I start to move my head up and down taking in more of his shaft, my tongue running all over him

He groans and that turns me on again, making me wet again

I move faster, taking about half of him in my mouth and Hobi puts one of his hands in my hair, pulling

He starts moving his hips up and down with my movements

Now I know why he liked when I did that to him

It just feels so good to know that you're the reason someone is losing control

"I'm gonna cum", he yells and that just spurs me to move faster and harder

I suck on his like my life depends on it and he screams my name, as I feel his warm cum hit my tongue

"Joanne!"

I swallow as he keeps coming, so surprised at how good he tastes

Sweet, a little salty but I really like it

When he finishes, I pull off him, swallowing the rest of his load in my mouth

Jesus, he cums a lot

After a few minutes he opens his eyes and looks at me

"So good Hobi"

His eyes widen, "What?"

"You're cum. Tastes good", I repeat

"Holy fuck"

I shrug, "I know you like mine"

He nods rapidly, "Fuck, you tastes so good. I swear I haven't tasted anything that good before"

I blush, taking his compliment

"More?" he asks

"Yeah" I nod

He smiles then gets up and pushes me down on his bed, grabbing my legs and wrapping them around his waist

He positions his dick at my hole, then looks at me, "Uh...you sure"

I look him in his eyes, "Yes Hoseok. I want you in me. Now"

He smiles, then pushes in

"Fuck!", I yell in pain

It hurts and burns as he goes in

He stops, "Are you ok?"

I nod and say, "Go all the way in"

"You sure?"

"Yeah"

The faster he goes in the less it'll hurt

He slowly moves all in and I close my eyes as I feel more pain

Once he's all the way in, I tell him, "Just..just.. Hold on"

"Ok Jo. It's ok.", he says, softly running his fingers in my hair

He leans down, pressing soft kisses to my neck, his hand playing with my boob

His mouth moves down my body to my chest, kissing around my boob

The second his tongue licks my nipple, I moan, pleasure running through me

His mouth clamps around my nipple, sucking softly, the pleasure taking my mind off the pain and burning

I feel myself soaking his cock, hearing his groans that turn me on

Hobi starts to move slowly, in and out, his mouth switching to my other nipple, my hand buried in his hair

I still feel a little pain as he moves but soon pleasure over takes it and I want more of him

"Faster"

Hobi listens and starts moving faster

"It feels so good Hobi", I whimper

He lifts his face up, surprise in his eyes, "Yeah?"

I nod

"It feels amazing for me too", he says, "I want it to feel amazing for you too. Tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"Harder, faster"

"Ok"

He gets up on his knees and opens my legs wider

He starts to move faster, pounding into me

And it's incredible, so intense

My hips moved by themselves and snap up to meet his thrusts

"Better?", he pants as he keeps moving, sweat dripping from his hair onto my stomach

"Incredible", I moan, holding his sheets tightly

He gives me a genuinely happy smile and keeps going

I feel myself getting closer the harder and faster he goes into me

"H..hhh...Hobi", I whisper

Hobi grabs me under my ass and lifts me up, slamming into me faster and faster

"Cum Jo.", Hobi says

"Huh?", I manage to get out, my mind shutting from the bliss

"I want you to cum. I want to feel you cum on me and get so tight on me"

Hearing him talk like that pushes me over the edge

"Fuck Hoseok!", I scream as I do exactly what he wants, my back arching off the bed as I grab his arms, holding onto him as I cum all over him

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" he yells, "Oh god, you feels so good! Fuck"

I just moan as I keep cumming and I hear him yell my name as he does too

His cock throbs inside me, his warm cum spilling in and fuck me it feels so good

"Joanne. Fuck. Joanne."

After we finish, I fall on my back and Hobi falls on top of me, his arms around me, head on my chest

We're both sweating and breathing hard

I put my arms around Hobi, just holding him

After a little while, he looks up at me, smiles and kisses me again

"Was..was it good?", he asks shyly

"Yeah Hobi. You were amazing"

"You were too. For someone who never kissed anyone before, you seem to know what you're doing"

I laugh, "Well I don't. I just went with what I felt"

He laughs, "yeah same"

A door opens somewhere in the house and we hear, "Hoseok! Where are you?"

It's his mom

"Shit.", Hobi gasps as he gets off me

I scramble up and run getting my clothes putting them on as fast as I can both of us going back to where we were before we had sex

After we just went on as normal, not talking about what happened and just continued being best friends

Hobi was the first person I ever slept with

It was the first time for both of us and neither of us knew what we were doing

It was our first time and we both thought it was amazing

The sex was good but it was no where near as amazing as it is now

We never spoke about it again, never had sex again until two years later

Hobi was still a trainee and he was set to debut the following year

He had broken up with his girlfriend months before

I dated a guy named Jimin for a year right after high school

He was friends with my friend Tae.

Turns out he was a jerk and cheated on me the last three months of our relationship

Hobi wanted to kill him but I stopped him

I assured Hobi, that I ripped Jimin a new one

Anyway, Hobi was really stressed out and he called me for support and to help him practice his dancing

Of course I went to help him, he's my best friend.

I watched him do his dance and I told him it was amazing because it was

He seemed relieved but he was still stressed

I suggested we go get food and spend the night watching tv.

Just relaxing

He said ok and we went to his apartment

He was acting weird and I attributed it to his stress

He had a demanding schedule and I was always awed at how well he handled it

"Hobi, relax. Everything is going to be fine. Your dance is on point, your lyrics are amazing. You have nothing to worry about", I assured him

He just sat quietly next to me

Then he looked at me, leaned over so fast and kissed me

And I kissed him back

He pulls away and says "Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

I was surprised but I cut him off and said, "Don't stop"

That's all he needed to hear and he was kissing me again

We slept with each other again that night

And the next night

And the next

And this time we both knew what we were doing and it was incredible

I think it was the fourth time we were together when Hobi brought up the subject of friends with benefits

"You want to do that?", I asked

"If you want to. But yea I do."

"You do know the point of that is to just have sex, with no romantic feelings.", I said

"Yeah Jo, I know what friends with benefits is", he rolled his eyes

"Ok. I want to do this too. But under one condition", I told him

"What's that?"

"You don't fall in love with me"

We both looked at each other and burst out laughing

Once we calmed down, I said to him "But really Hobi. I have one condition."

"Ok what is it?"

"If we do this, we only sleep with each other. I'm sorry but I'm not getting any diseases in case you wanna be a man slut."

He was quiet for a minute, then nodded, "That's reasonable. Ok."

"Alright", I agreed

---------------------------

And in the beginning it really just was about sex

But then I fell in love

And unbeknownst to me, he fell in love too

[samswinchesters]

i’m like journaling you my life whenever anything happens to me. i got a horrible sinus infection and actually thought i was dying so i went to urgent care even though they never listen to me. this time it was all women staff and they actually diagnosed me and gave me antibiotics. crazy. i was sick and then felt better and went to a friends christmas/new years party and was supposed to stay for two nights in a row but the next morning i felt horrid and couldn’t breathe. so i called to be picked up and halfway home my face should’ve been normal but my face was super swollen and i was struggling to breathe. but it was new year’s eve so we weren’t sure urgent care was still open and i went the next day. and then my grandma and i were at the mall and unprompted said my face still looks swollen but like it’s gone down and i was like “what do you mean i’m still swollen” so now if i’m still swelling when the antibiotics are gone i’m going back in and there better be women only in that urgent care. also the antibiotics just feel like pills that make my tummy upset.

omgggg apologies for barely responding to this now like two weeks later but that’s soooo terrible babe 💔 a gongeous bitch like you shouldn’t Be struggling At All I’m going to kick your sinuses if they ever do that again to an oomfie like you. gosh I took antibiotics abt a month ago and they also made my tummy hurt and made me shit so many times like what gives 🙄 science ppl don’t answer that I don’t wanna know. hope you are feeling better, babe!! love reading your journal entries you send me via my inbox 👍🏽 they’re like love letters to me

[gilthairpins]

Book 2 Chapter 9: Joy Breed Sorrow, Love Breeds Fear

The flowers bloomed, withered, withered and bloomed again. A year had passed between the blooming and withering of flowers.

Zhang Qianying sent someone to call me. I quickly dried my hands and rubbed my hair with the water from the basin acting as a mirror. This is probably what it means to be disheveled, right?

As soon as I entered the room, i immediately regretted it. Zhang Qianying stood at the door to greet me respectfully. When he saw me come in, he quickly left and closed the door. Tenth and Fourteenth stood up when they saw me. Fourteenth ordered the eunuch who came with them: “guard the door”.

Fourteenth looked gloomy. He looked me up and down and then up and down. Tenth was stunned. After a while, he asked, “Why are you like this, Ruoxi?”

He rounded angrily on Fourteenth, “Didn’t you say you had everything arranged? Is this what you arranged?”

“You look like you’ve been working.” I laughed and said.

“How does Zhang Qianying treat you?” Fourteenth asked.

“He’s very caring. He turns a blind eye to my mistakes and is very kind.” I said nodding.

I have figured out Zhang Qianying’s temperament, so it’s not too difficult to deal with him. The palace has its own rules. Not to mention that Fourteenth would never interfere with the personnel changes in the palace, which would only make things difficult for me. Even if he did, who knows if Zhang Qianying would be replaced by a more difficult person?

Tenth’s expression eased a little and he pointed to a chair for me to sit. I had recovered from the shock of our first meeting, but I was suddenly startled again and I jumped up from the chair.

“What happened?”

The two looked sad and stared at me with grief, wanting to say something but stopping.

I covered my mouth in horror and murmured, “No, what happened to my sister?”

They were both stunned. Tenth said, “Your sister is fine, although she has always been weak. You know this yourself that she’s been like this for many years.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back in my seat. “You came to me with such fanfare, what happened?”

Fourteenth said slowly, “The matter is urgent, I can’t take care of so many things. Ever since the incident from two years ago, Eighth was hit hard and fell seriously ill. He’s been in a low mood, although he has recovered. His body was weak to begin with and his insides and outside are connected. Now he is sick again, this time the disease is sever. The imperial physician said… the imperial physician said…” He turned his face away and said nothing more.

My mind was a mess for a moment. I held my head up and tried to concentrate. Eighth should have lived until Yongzheng ascended the throne, so he should be fine at this time. But I was too concerned and confused. I was not sure if what I knew would happen. My heart was pounding and I tried to comfort myself. Wasn’t the prince twice deposed as I knew? Everything would still go according to history. I slowly let go of half my heart, but I suddenly felt infinitely sad. If it really went according to history, I could only escape this day, but I could escape the next day. I held my head up and closed my eyes without saying a word. After a while I asked, “What did the emperor say?”

Tenth’s face was gloomy as he answered woodenly, “Royal Father only said four words to the imperial physician ‘try your best to treat’. Later he wrote on a memorial about Eighth’s condition: ‘if the disease is cured it’s a blessing. If the poison is not completely eliminated, it will be difficult to cure with supplements.’ Later, in order to avoid bad luck, royal father ordered a seriously ill Eighth, who was not suitable for moving, to be moved into a villa near Changchun Garden, back to the prince’s mansion. Ninth objected, but royal father insisted on doing so saying…”

Fourteenth interrupted Tenth and said, “We came here specially to ask if you have anything to say or anything you want to tell us. We can pass along your message. We have pens and ink, paper and ink stone here. If you want to write a letter you can do so.”

“Did Eighth Master ask you to come?” I asked.

Fourteenth shook his head. “It was my idea while Eighth was unconscious. Tenth came here specially to see you.”

“What is your relationship with Eighth, Ruoxi? Why did Fourteenth come to inform you that he was critically ill?” Tenth asked staring at me.

I pretended not to hear and asked, “How is the mansion now? How are Eighth Fujin and my sister?”

“Since the year before last, Eighth has ignored everything. All affairs of the mansion are handled by Eighth sister in law, who is also taking care of Eighth, who is always sick.” Fourteenth said. “Now…if you see her, you will know. Because everyone in the mansion points fingers at her and Eighth is like this, she is just relying on her will to hold on. Your sister worries about you and Mynah every day, kneeling in the Buddhist temple all day long, chanting sutras and praying for blessings. I heard from the maid she cries several times a day.” He sighed.

I am now outside the circle of right and wrong, but the people I care about are… am I too selfish? I only think about how you don’t want to change your mind, but you make your loved ones are unhappy.

Tenth sighed, “I have never admired any woman, but now I admire Eighth sister in law. She really is a man among women. When Thirteenth got into trouble that day, Thirteenth’s house was in all sorts of chaos. All kinds of petty theft and robberies came out. Thirteenth Fujin had no choice but to dismiss all the servants and maids. There were hundreds of people in Eighth’s manor, inside and out, and there are farms and other properties. The situation was much more complicated than in Thirteenth’s house, but Eighth sister in law shocked everyone and there was no chaos.”

I stared at Tenth, stunned for a while. “I don’t have anything to say to the Eighth Master, and I guess he doesn’t want to hear from me.”

Tenth frowned and said nothing, while Fourteenth lowered his head and sighed. I picked up my pen and wrote:

From joy arrises sorrow, from joy arises fear; without joy there is no sorrow, where is there fear? From love comes sorrow, from love comes fear; without love there is no sorrow, where is fear? Therefore do not cling, for love and separation are suffering. If there is no love and no hate, there is no bondage.

After finishing, I gave it to Fourteenth. “Give this to my sister.”

Fourteenth took it and placed it in his pocket. Standing up he said, “Let’s go, Tenth!”

Tenth stood about to leave when I said, “No matter what Eighth’s condition is, can you send me a message in time?”

They both nodded in agreement. As the two walked out, I called to Fourteenth. He stopped and turned to look at me. Tenth glanced at us a moment and then walked out the door, closing it carefully.

“Don’t tell Tenth.” I said, walking up to him.

Fourteenth said, “I don’t need to. We’ve experienced so many ups and downs these last three or so years. Tenth is no longer the reckless man he was before. He is a man of great wisdom. Even if he understands, he won’t tell Tenth sister in law. Who would have the heart to hurt Eighth sister in law?”

Yes! How could Tenth be so considerate when faced with such a situation? We were silent and our minds instantly flew back to the scenes many years ago, glaring at Tenth as if it were yesterday.

After a while he said, “I’m leaving. Take care of yourself.”

I nodded and he turned, opened the door and left with Tenth.

I was in suspense for five days before I received word that Eighth was out of danger. I was not happy, but sad. It’s easier said than done. I told my sister I had stopped worrying, but I couldn’t fool myself. Although I was far away from them, I couldn’t let go.

Along with the message came two bits of news- good and bad. The bad was Eighth Fujin had become ill due to over work and was bedridden, while Eighth’s illness was improving. The good news was that Kangxi had ordered that the salary, which had been suspended for a year and ten months, be paid to Eighth according to his rank as a Bei’le.

The money was secondary, but it reflected Kangxi’s attitude. The news spread quickly in the palace and the people in the laundry department treated me with a bit more of a smile. I couldn’t help but sigh that the emperor’s words affected every corner of the Forbidden City, and that I still benefited from Eighth.

Where ever there are people, there are intrigues and disputes, and the laundry department was no exception. But after being by Kangxi’s side for more than ten years, what scenes haven’t I seen? Even if Zhang Qianying is shrewd, he has only honed his tricks in the laundry department after all. In my eyes, I just laughed it off. Even if the others are scheming, they are only hoping for more benefits. I don’t take the ridicule and sarcasm of outsiders to heart. Since I don’t mind, their viciousness is just in vain.

In the eyes of others, I was suffering unusually, doing menial jobs every day and having to deal with swords and guns: both open and covertly. But my heart was as calm as an ancient well, without any waves. I truly understood what the Buddhist scriptures said from the narrowest level. “From love comes worry, from love comes fear; without love there is no worry, where is the fear?” Since I didn’t care about them at all, everything they did was meaningless to me. Only the people you love can hurt you!

In December of the 56th year of Kangxi’s reign, the empress dowager died. Although this Borjigit woman from the prairie was once the empress, she was never loved by Shunzhi [Kangxi’s name prior to ascension?] Perhaps the only thing she could be thankful for was Kangxi’s filial piety to her. He wasn’t her biological son, but he treated her like his own mother and let her live out her life.

Kangxi wore white mourning clothes and cut off his braids to show his grief. We also wore white and there was white cloth on the ground and roofs, ordered by the emperor. Together with the snow, there wasn’t a single bright color in the Forbidden City.

In February of the 57th year of Kangxi’s reign, the northwest was in danger. Lazang Khan was killed and Lhasa fell, the Junggar tribe controlled the entire Tibet. News spread through the palace and everyone was talking about the war thousands of miles away. Because it was related to the integrity of the Qing Dynasty’s territory and the success of the Manchu-Mongolian alliance, which was the crucial basis of the Qing Dynasty rule.

If the Junggar tribe controlled Tibet, it would be possible to incite the Mongolian tribes to break away from the Qing Dynasty rule by using religion. So Emperor Kangxi responded quickly and ordered Seleng to lead the army to recapture Tibet. Xi’an General Elunte and minister of the interior Gong Tsewang Norbu followed to help.

Kangxi was full of confidence. With each level of influence, everyone felt that victory was just around the corner. The topic of conversation among the palace maids and eunuchs around them quickly turned to guessing when the victorious army would return to court. I shook my head and sighed. How could it be so impossibly easy?

Although I can’t remember exactly what happened in this war, and I didn’t know when it started or ended, I knew Fourteenth stood out in this war. His title of “Great General King” came from this. If Seleng and Elunte had won, wouldn’t Fourteenth have no chance to play?

Sure enough, bad news came again. Seleng went to Tibet alone in May and Elunte who lost contact with him, quickly pursued him. They only met up in Karausu in northern Tibet in July. The army of Tsewang Norbu, which was supposed to go to support, hesitated in moving forward. In addition the Mongolian princes in Qinghai broke their promise and refused to send troops to meet them. Finally, the army of Seleng and Elute were surrounded and annihilated.

The whole army was annihilated! The whole country was shocked. Not only was there fear of war in the Qing court, but some Mongolian princes in Qinghai were also frightened and unwilling to fight again. The Qing Dynasty faced the most sever situation since Galdan invaded Ulan Butong in the 29th year of Kangxi’s reign. This battle also became the most serious mistake in the history of Kangxi’s rule.

Under this urgent situation of internal and external troubles, on October 12, in the 57th year of Kangxi’s reign, Kangxi appointed Fourteenth, Prince Yinzhen, as the general of Fuyuan and granted him the title of prince by Gushan Beizichao. Dispatching troops from various routes as appropriate to annihilate Tsewang Arabtan and pacify the boarder. This was called appointment, which meant that he was responsible for the arduous task of marching into Lhasa, recovering Tibet, attacking Yili directly, and solving the Dzungar issue.

In December, Kangxi held a military ceremony for Fourteenth, which was the most grand military ceremony since the founding of the Qing Dynasty. The system of the yellow banner and the prince were used, and he was called the general king.

Beizi, Gong, and the other officials below all wore military uniforms and gathered in front of the Hall of Supreme Harmony. The kings, Bei’le, Beizi, Gong, and ministers above second rank, who were not going to war, wore python robes and gathered outside the Meridian Gate.

General Yinzhen knelt to receive the imperial seal, thanked the grace and saluted. Then he followed the imperial seal out of the Meridian Gate, rode out of Tiananmen, and went to Deshengmen. The kings, Bei’le, Beizi, Gong, and ministers above the second rank were all sent to the soldiers. General Yinzhen kowtowed and saluted and marched in a solemn manner.

At that time, everyone in court unanimously agreed that Fourteenth was the most likely successor to the throne in Kangxi’s mind and the most gloriously chapter in Fourteenth’s political life began.

When the situation in the court was favorable to Fourteenth, Ninth chose to strongly support him. The eagle killing incident may have been done by Fourteenth or not, but after weighing the pros and cons, Fourteenth must have been the more favorable choice for the original Eighth Prince Party, compared to Third and Fourth.

Ninth strongly supported Fourteenth, giving him advice in court and keeping him informed. Ninth even publicly declared for him as “extremely intelligent, talented and virtuous, and none of my brothers could compare to him”.

Kangxi also sometimes said in front of his ministers that he liked people who were honest, straightforward, and affectionate. He said, “In doing things, it is important to be honest. If you are honest, the people will obey you. If you are deceitful, who will trust you?” He believed that the nobles should open their hearts to others, why be mean? He also pointed out, “I like people who are honest, straightforward, and sincere. If I am angry, I will not let anyone know. I only value honesty.” He also boasted, “Fourteenth is the most like me!”

Fourteenth was not only supported by his brothers, but also valued by Kangxi, becoming the first among brothers. No one could match him.

Eighth returned to court and faced the fact that the former “Eighth Prince Party” had completely become the “Fourteenth Prince Party”, the lord didn’t know what his mood was [Eighth being conflicted]. At least on the surface, although he wasn’t as active as Ninth, he too supported Fourteenth. Compared to Fourth, after all, he would rather have Fourteenth on the throne.

Fourth, out of filial piety, tried his best to share Kangxi’s worries about political affairs when he was in a state of panic and his options limited, and when he wasn’t overly enthusiastic. He once again participated in the decision making of court affairs without leaving any trace.

Xiao Shunzi came to see me early in the morning and said Fourth wanted to see me. I was puzzled. I cleaned up, changed into a neat set of clothes, and went to meet him. He was standing alone in a secluded corner, his figure was solemn in the cold wind.

I walked behind him and stood quietly. He turned his head and looked me over carefully from head to toe once as if to see how I was doing.

“Do you regret it?” He asked calmly.

I turned my head and smiled at him.

He asked again, “Do you regret it?”

I stoped smiling. It was in his nature to ask such a question, and he repeated it. In this current situation, his torment must be extraordinary. He was scheming hard, but he saw the throne slipping away. And the throne wasn’t just the throne, but also Thirteenth’s fate and mine weighed heavily on his heart.

I shook my head, “No regrets!”

He pursued his lips and stared at the ground. I watched him greedily. We may not have seen each other for a year now, and every time we see each other, I always feel that he is getting thinner. There were a few wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, but his eyes were still sharp. His thin lips still tightly pursed, as if all the pain and repression could be hidden deep in this way.

I subconsciously reached out to touch his lips and whispered, “You will definitely win!” I immediately came to my senses as soon as I said this. What am I doing?! I quickly tried to withdraw my hand, but he already held it, tightly.

I stared at his dark and obscure eyes in his pale face. My heart ached and everything seemed unimportant for a moment. I shook his hand tightly.

He felt the callouses on my hands and held them both, studying them for a while. “What happened today? Do you have severe knee pain this year?”

“Fortunately the plaster that you asked Xiao Shunzi to send is very useful.” I said.

“How are you doing?” He asked.

“Very good.” I replied.

He said, “Think positively about everything and don’t overthink.”

“I know. I recite the words you gave me a few times every day. ‘Walk to the end of the water, sit and watch the clouds rise.’” I said.

“I can only give you empty words.” He said, smiling bitterly.

I held his hand and said, “And your heart!”

We both looked at each other for a while. I smiled and slowly withdrew my hand.

“Lu Wu gave birth to a daughter for Thirteenth.” He said with a smile.

“What? Really?!” I cried in surprise.

He laughed, “Can you still use this to deceive people? I’ll find a chance for you to see her later. She’s already eight months old.”

I laughed shaking my head and sighed all at once. “How can you let me see her? What’s her name?” I quickly asked.

“It’s too hard in there. The adults can bear it, but how can a child? I petitioned the emperor to let me raise her and he has agreed. She is in my house now and hasn’t been named yet. The person who brought her back said that Thirteenth and Lu Wu wanted you to name her. The emperor had already drafted a name, but on hearing this, he actually said that you can choose and report it to him. He will then give it to her in the name of the emperor.” He said.

I laughed for a long while. “No wonder you sent someone to find me! I’ll give you a name, but what do you think? What name did the emperor propose? Do you know?”

He shook his head.

I paced around and he watched me.

“Ruoxi, the emperor still cares about you, if you change your mind…”

I stopped and looked at him. “How is Bing Xin?”

“Okay. ‘A heart as pure as a jade pot’.” He said. A metaphor for Thirteenth.

“How about Yunying?” I shook my head.

He was about to nod, but I quickly rejected it.

“Now I have it! I’ll call her Cheng Huan!”

He pondered for a while and said, “If she wants to be Cheng Huan’s aunt, use this. I will definitely let Cheng Huan be your niece in the future!”

I said gently, “Yes, she will definitely be my niece and let Thirteenth enjoy the happiness of family life.”

We smiled at each other, but the smiles slowly faded. It was hard to meet and hard to leave. I quietly bowed to him and walked past him quickly. When will we meet again? Next year? The year after? I turned around to watch him. I didn’t know he had turned around to watch me. We stared at each other for a while in silence. I turned back and quickly ran away.

In September of the 59th year of Kangxi’s reign, Fourteenth- Prince Yinzhen ordered Yanxin to escort the newly appointed Dalai Lama to Tibet, where a solemn enthronement ceremony was held in Lhasa. Thus, the Tibetan rebellion, instigated by Tsewang Arabtan was completely quelled.

Emperor Kangxi ordered the erection of a monument to commemorate the event. He ordered Alanbu, a member of the imperial clan and Duke of Fuguo, to draft the imperial inscription.

After two years of fighting, Yinzhen won the full support of the Mongolian tribes in Qinghai with his outstanding diplomatic talent and practical benefits. He strictly enforced military discipline, strictly prohibited the army from disturbing the people and defrauding local officials along the way. He required soldiers to cherish livestock and save food and grass, and required officers to cherish soldiers. He dismissed Hu Xitu, a first rank official who violated military discipline and investigated him. The series of measures taken by Fourteenth, combined with his kindness and power, made him famous in Qinghai, Tibet, Gansu, and other northwestern regions.

His war stories spread back to the Forbidden City from the northwest. After a day’s work, the greatest pleasure for the girls in the laundry department was to talk about every incredible thing that had happened to Fourteenth.

The general who stood proudly in armor in front of thousands of enemy troops, the hero who’s oars and oars were wiped out in smoke while taking and laughing, the uninhibited prodigal who drank with the soldiers and talked about his thoughts in detail when he was gentle, the three sided drum with his hands when he was bold.

The handsome man who shocked all the Mongolian tribes in Qinghai became the most perfect dream, deep in the hearts of these girls. Their enthusiasm had not been swallowed up by the court, and they still had the innocence and pink reveries in their hearts.

Yanping and Chuntao had been released from the palace. Now I live in the same room with new two girls, one is 14 named Qianqian, and the other, 15 named Lingdang.

Qianqian stood on the kang and told the group of girls sitting around her a story she had repeated countless times “�� …. …Then the Mongolian princes asked the beautiful and enthusiastic Mongolian girls to come out and dance, and each of them was as beautiful as a fairy. They sang and danced endlessly, drank and had fun, but never mentioned sending troops to help. Fourteenth Master drank a large bowl of wine, walked to the reviewing platform and with a drunken feeling picked up the large drum sticks with both hands… … …”

Qianqian gestured with both hands. “Raised his hands and beat the drums. Fourteenth Master beat three large drums with his hands, beating and dancing. At that time the singing, dancing, and laughter immediately quieted down in the whole place. On the Qinghai Plateau only the drums of Fourteenth Master could be heard, resounding like thunder across the earth. Sometimes rapid, sometimes slow, sometimes high, sometimes low, but every sound passionate and heroic. At that time, tens of thousands of Qing soldiers who were sitting on the ground stood- one by one, shouting the military bugle along with the drums of Fourteenth Master. The sound spread from ground to sky, and from sky to sky, upending back to the ground. Later the Mongolian men couldn’t help but stand up one by one and shouting along with the drumbeats.”

Qianqian imagined the scene thousands of miles away with a fascinated look on her face.

“What happened next? What happened next?” The girls urged.

Qianqian sighed softly, “Later, after the song was over, for the last three hits, Fourteenth Master used both hands to break all three cowhide drums. Fourteenth Master laughed and threw away the drum sticks. He looked at the Manchu and Mongolian soldiers standing in the dark on the grassland below the stage and laughed ‘This is the song that a good man should listen to!’ He then asked the Mongolian nobles in a stern voice ‘You are the descendants of Genghis Khan, the proud and invincible Khan! Are you willing to keep your promise and abide by the agreement of our ancestors, so that your descendants will continue to graze and sing on this grassland? Or will you betray your faith and hide here, waiting to surrender to Tsewang Arabtan and hand over the grassland given to us by our ancestors?’” Qianqian stopped suddenly like a storyteller.

“What then?” A little girl gasped.

Qianqian continued, “Later, before the Mongolian princes and nobles could say anything, the soldiers around them had already burst into a huge roar: ‘We are the descendants of Genghis Khan, the Heavenly Khan! We will never admit defeat to the enemy!’ They shouted over and over again. The Mongolian dignitaries could no longer stand still. The leader of the Qinghai Eleuths, the Lobsang Danjin, picked up two bowls of wine and walked up to the platform and handed a bowl to Fourteenth Master. Facing the Manchu and Mongolian people below the stage he shouted loudly ‘We will definitely drive away the jackals!’ After that, the two swore an oath in blood, clinked their bloody bowls and drank in one gulp. They threw away wine bowls and laughed, hugging each other.”

After Qianqian finished speaking there was a long silence that stretched between the surrounding girls. They were in a daze digesting the story.

I smiled turning over and pulling the quilt tighter. I closed my eyes to sleep. Everything about Fourteenth became particularly touching after being described countless times. I would smile and listen, feeling stunned. Is this the Fourteenth I knew?

Seemingly bold and unrestrained, but full of just the right strategy: a drum beat and a few words cleverly avoided the princes and nobles who feared fighting, and pointing the spearhead directly at the entire Mongolian tribe. The oath in front of millions left the Mongolian nobles with no way out.

Fourteenth in this war was a stranger to me. Fourteenth in this legend is someone I don’t know. The images of him in my memory and the ones I had heard about are intertwined. Sometimes I even look forward to his return. I want to know what is he like now. Is the great General King, whose reputation spread all over the northwest, still the person I know?

Directly benefiting from Fourteenth’s growing influence in court, Zhang Qianying has become much more respectful towards me and has used fewer tricks. Sometimes I find it funny myself.

People inside and outside of the laundry bureau secretly laugh at ‘Ruoxi alone who supports everyone in the laundry bureau’. I don’t know how much benefit Zhang Qianying and his friends have gained from Tenth and Fourteenth.

Anyway, the small change that Fourth has given me to manage everyone is quite a lot. The women in the laundry bureau who have been released in recent years have no worries about food or clothes for the rest of their lives because of me.

Some of the money was necessary, and some was spent out of sympathy. After several years of accumulation, there wasn’t much left. It’s difficult to get rewards on weekdays. From time to time I have to pay a little to the palace maids and eunuchs above. After years of hardship in the palace, I am old when I leave the palace. It is difficult to get married. My family is poor and I can only rely on the little money I have. Since I have money, why don’t I let these poor women have a stable life?

In the 60th year of Kangxi’s reign, Fourteenth moved his army to Ganzhou, intending on taking advantage of the victory to attack Tsewang Arabtan’s lair, Yili. Due to the long distance, transportation difficulties, and difficulty in supplying food and grass, however, there was no progress for a while. In October, Fourteenth was ordered back to Beijing to report on his work.

The news that Fourteenth was coming back spread throughout the palace. The civil and military officials in court were excited, secretly wondering whether the greatest reward Kangxi would give to Fourteenth was the dragon throne.

The palace maids were also excited and everyone hoped to have the honor of seeing the hero who had only appeared in their dreams at midnight.

In November, Fourteenth returned to the Forbidden City in full honor after an absence of three years.

All the princes, civil and military officials came out of the city to welcome him. I imagined the glory of Fourteenth when he returned and a smile appeared on my face. But when I thought of Fourth standing among the crowd and witnessing the dazzlingly light, my smile turned bitter. Was he afraid? Was he afraid that the glory of this moment would overshadow him forever?

As soon as Zhang Qianying came in, the girls who were chatting and talking together dispersed and squatted down to wash clothes.

Zhang Qianying scolded, “A bunch of bastards! You are lazy when you have time!”

Everyone was silent and let him scold. He scolded for a long time before he stopped talking and walked by my side, wanting to say something. I ignored him. He stood there in silence for a long time and turned away.

On the second day, several maids rubbed clothes listlessly and one said, “We thought we would be able to see Fourteenth Master after his return to Beijing. Now we know that it depends on whether we are lucky enough to bump into him occasionally.”

The maid who spoke was quite decent looking. The little sister next to her joked, “If Fourteenth Master sees you, he might fall in love with you.”

She was so angry she used water to tease the person who made the joke.

As we were talking and laughing, Zhang Qianying walked into the courtyard. We greeted him, but he ignored us and just stood to the side respectfully. We all looked at each other in confusion. My heart suddenly skipped a beat and I was nervous for a moment.

“Tell them to go down first.” A strange voice said indifferently. As he spoke, Fourteenth dressed in casual clothes, walked lazily into the yard. His eyes and brow were full of the vicissitudes of life, but it not only did it not detract from his handsomeness, but added a bit of bewitching. His lips were tightly closed and his casual gaze at me showed a hint of inquiry and confusion.

Zhang Qianying whispered to everyone, “Why don’t you pay your respects to Fourteenth Master and leave?”

The little girls in the courtyard stared with no reaction. I lowered my head and smiled, saying, “Fourteenth Master is auspicious.”

That woke everyone up and they quickly greeted. Fourteenth ignored me, staring. I became uneasy and watched his face carefully. There was no trace of joy or anger. I suddenly realized that he was not the Fourteenth of the past!

Zhang Qianying shouted in a low voice, “Everyone, step back!”

He the left the yard first.

Fourteenth looked around lost in thought for a moment. He stared at the basin in front of me and asked slowly, “You’ve been in the laundry bureau for more than six years and I’ve proposed to the emperor three times. Once in the fifty-fifth year and fifty-sixth year. But the emperor didn’t agree. Today I am proposing to him again, asking him to treat it as a reward to me, asking him to forgive you for your many years of service. No matter how big the mistake, the suffering you endured over the years is enough. Guess what the emperor told me?”

I was shocked. He actually proposed for me? At that time, I had no idea why I angered Kangxi.

He smiled and asked, “Why? Do you dislike me so much, you’d rather wash clothes for the eunuchs here than follow me?”

I was speechless. No! It had nothing to do with you! It wasn’t a question of whether you were good or bad.

He walked up to me and raised his hand to lift my chin. “You don’t have to not talk or change the subject today. I have enough patience to wait for the answer.”

I turned my head away from his calloused and rough hand, remaining silent. I didn’t know where to start. He smiled indifferently and withdrew his hand. Walking to the side, he picked up a small stool at random. Straightening his robes he sat down, resting his arms on his knees and tilted his head back to quietly watch me.

I thought for a while before walking over to Fourteenth and squatting down. “It’s not your problem. You are very, very good! This is my own problem.”

He raised his eyebrows and motioned for me to continue. I shook my head and said, “I really don’t know what to say.”

“Then I’ll ask and you answer.” He said. I nodded helplessly.

“Do you have someone in your heart?” He asked. I hesitated to tell him. Would it be bad for Fourth?

He waited a while and smiled, “Don’t be embarrassed. You’ve already given me the answer. Is it Eighth or Fourth?”

I sighed and stood up. “Is it interesting to explore these?”

Fourteenth said, “It seems to be Fourth.” He propped his head up grinning silently. After a bit he stood up and asked, “He is living a rich idle life in a mansion while you are suffering here. Is it worth it for you to entrust your heart to him?”

I looked at him and asked, “Is it worth it for you to treat me like this?”

He narrowed his eyes and looked outside the high wall. His thoughts flew beyond the high wall of his sight and to places I couldn’t guess.

“When you risked your life to race for me that day, I decided to treat you like Thirteenth in the future. I regarded you as a friend, treated you sincerely, and did my best to protect you. Now I’ve done my best, I at least have no regrets.”

I felt much more relaxed. So that is how it was. I said, “You don’t have to do this. I did this for myself that day. You owe me nothing.”

He said, “If it weren’t for me, how could you have come to this point? If you really only care about yourself, you can just push all responsibility to me. Why take the risk of horse racing?” He retracted his gaze and stared at my face. Sighing softly he said, “You look much more haggard!”

I smiled and said, “You’ve become much more handsome.”

He stared at me a long time before asking, “Are you still unwilling to marry me?” I nodded slightly. He smiled and continued, “It’s up to you, but if you don’t want to stay here, you can always find me.”

“Thank you.” I said.

He nodded slightly and turned to leave.

“Fourteenth Master!” I called out. He stopped and stared at me. I asked, “Is there anyone guarding outside?”

“If you have to say something, just say it.” He said.

I hesitated and then approached him, “Don’t go back to the northwest.”

“It depends on the emperor’s opinion.” He said.

“Now that the Junggar tribe is doomed, you don’t necessarily have to fight again. Besides, the emperor is very kind to you now. If you are firm and you make your intentions clear, the emperor will probably listen.”

“Let’s wait and see. Marching in war is not what you think. Changing the commander in chief is even more complicated. Although the Junggar tribe suffered a heavy setback, it’s too early to say the situation is over. In the past, my father led the army to attack the Junggar twice and it took six years to defeat the Junggar. The Khan, Galdan committed suicide by poison, but less than twenty years later Galdan’s nephew, Tsewang Arabtan led his troops again and made the Qing Dynasty suffer an unprecedented humiliation of annihilation! It is not an exaggeration to say that they are the biggest threat to the Qing Dynasty. The sooner they are eliminated, the less trouble there will be in the future.” He said.

I didn’t know what to say. After a moment’s pause I said, “But the emperor is old, you…”

“The emperor and I know what is going on.” He said.

I have said all I can. After a moment of silence I said, “I have finished what I want to say.”

Fourteenth shook his head. “You spend all day thinking about these things? Don’t forget what Doctor Li advised, worry less. Avoid being anxious and fearful.”

“I remember it.” I quickly put on a big smile.

“It’s not enough to just “remember”, but to truly let go. They will worry about it, the most important thing for you is to take care of yourself.” He said solemnly. I nodded and he said helplessly, “Why don’t you learn from more from him? I meditate, chant sutras, and chat with the emperor.” I bowed my head and said nothing. He sighed and turned away.

[dyketennant]

okay re: post i just reblogged, it’s reminding me how other people i know don’t drink nearly as much water as i do (though perhaps sometimes they should since i live in one of if not the hottest cities in the u.s., been a while since i checked it) because i’m on ssri’s and thus get dehydrated way more easily. and because of that i don’t think people realize how stressful it can be to get water sometimes.

i went to a convention back in late may. here, temperatures already get up into the triple digits. and let me tell you, it was unnecessarily hard to find water once i was actually inside the convention. i think there were one or two big water coolers outside, but most people are gonna be inside because obviously it’s sunny and scolding hot outside, plus everything is happening inside anyways.

anyways, once inside, water bottles were like. $5 for a little 16-oz thing, which really isn’t going to last me long if i’m someone on ssri’s walking around in full cosplay. even then every food stand was usually a long line, which meant standing and waiting to even pay for the overpriced bottled water. if i wanted to refill my water bottle, i had to go find a little drinking fountain (they didn’t have those fountains specifically designed to refill water bottles, for some reason, in the year of our lord 2024), which were not labeled on the map or by any signage and were only located next to some of the restrooms, not all of them. and it’s a massive convention hall, too, meaning lots of walking between locations to even find water to begin with.

i cannot stress this enough: if you are hosting a convention in the hottest city in the U.S., where every year dozens if not hundreds or THOUSANDS of people die/are hospitalized from overheating and dehydration, and this is a fan convention where you know people are going to be wearing heavy costumes/layers, finding water needs to be the easiest thing on the planet. there needs to be water refill stations on every corner. people should be handing out free water bottles as i walk into the building. i should be running into so many places to get water it starts to get annoying, because the alternative is people passing out and needing first aid/urgent care at your extremely packed and busy convention, which clearly makes a fuck ton of money and should have solved this problem years ago. it’s genuinely embarrassing and inhumane to profit off of people’s need for drinking water like they do.

and this is just one specific example of this. do you know how many times i’ve been traveling/on vacation and have to spend a good amount of time on a trip worrying about where i’ll be able to fill up my water bottle? and i’m speaking from a fairly privileged position—what about unhoused people, or disabled people who physically can’t walk around and search for water like i can?

tl;dr it needs to be way easier to access clean drinking water when in public than it currently is and i’m bitter :)

[aajjks]

Days pass and Yoongi contacts you and you smile sadly because you are missing someone dearly. You sigh as you talk to him, he asked if you were alright to do the music video, and if not take as much time you need.

You smile at his understanding and state “Suga-oppa I am not really in the head game right now. I miss someone very dear to me.”

Yoongi understood and told you to not give up and keep going. You both hang up the phone as you really wanted to dial Jungkook, you wonder what’s going on.

So with a heavy heart you go to Jiah and Chaeyoung and ask them “Hey have you both seen Jungkook lately?” Your face clearly says you miss them as they look at each other and nod their head

Jiah says “Sweetheart let’s sit down, we have been meaning to tell you this.”

You heart starts to skyrocket due to them sitting you down. Chaeyoung gets you some water as you feel tears in your eyes when she says Jungkook resign to focus on his marriage with his childhood best friend and pregnancy. Your heart ached and you felt dizzy. Something felt wrong once they said that as if they are hiding something.

Jiah also says “He stalked you before he became your bodyguard. Uhm.. if you don’t believe us, go to BangPDnim because he has the pictures.”

You look at them in shock because he hasn’t scared you. He is like a friend to you, maybe something more because you may have developed something but now he has someone and he deserves to be happy.

You guys start doing your work and you felt on edge ever since this morning, why the heck do you feel like he is in danger. Mmmmm you can’t believe you are about to plan something. You go to BangPDnim and ask if you actually have a sasaeng. He shows you the pictures Jungkook took before he knew you, and you felt sick.

Debating on what you need to do, you look at him and ask if there could be a police tracker on you, for safety. You are planning to see Jungkook, because you do not believe that he would take those creepy photos.

He looked at you and handed you a tracker thinking that was a excellent and marvelous idea. You get up and go back to your regular routine. Night came quickly and you wanted to take a thirty minute nap before going outside.

In your dream you see flashes of someone being beaten and someone yelling “You should love me and not her.” Your eyes snap open at the same time your alarm went off. You right a check for one million dollars, you want to give it to Eunchae and Jungkook. Since he was a staff here you should pay your respect to them, him.

You start to walk out of the building until you see Jake look at you sternly and you look at him, and urgently tell him something is going on, and you want to pay tribute to Eunchae and Jungkook with a check to a honeymoon and their child.

The night time was quiet with you and Jake going together to see if Jungkook was out in a gas station. You feel like a stalker but right now you do not care. Jake is pulling up old records to see if Jungkook still lives at the area. You are in disguise because you want to look as normal and creepy as possible, like no one would expect you to be out here with what happened to you a year ago.

Jake was about to get your attention when you see Jungkook with his taker. You slowly walk towards them but Jake stopped you and said quietly “No, if you are thinking what I’m thinking. Then we should wait until they are home, you will need evidence of him being abused by a pregnant lady, who obviously looks crazy and dominate.”

Jake was always making sure you don’t do anything stupid, thank God for Jake. You thought as you both are in an alleyway side-eyeing the store. Jake also thought of taking a car that Jungkook wouldn’t recognize, because he knew Jungkook would feel even more creeped out.

Once they are out of the store, you both book it to this old looking truck. Jake is driving at a distance, and makes sure to never loose the car. Once you two arrive you both wait a mile away, and a good thirty minutes.

Jake knows how the cops are so he starts calling them while you are slowly getting out of the car, and of course start acting all creepy like. You look at the decorated door for St. Patrick’s day, and you knock on the door. Eunchae looking like a crazed beast answers the door.

You are not in disguise as you say “Hello, I am here to congratulate you on your marriage and your baby.” You look at her and ask “Are you ok, Mrs. Jeon Eunchae?”

You were buttering her up making her get excited, you tell her that you have a check for them, and since you were kidnapped or invited in the wedding you wanted to give them something.

Eunchae looks at the handwriting and the check and her jaw drops and she feels tears. She says “Oh oh, let us go see Kookie! I want you to give him this.”

She hands it back you and you know it is time to act like you do not care. She gives you the creeps as she leads you down to a basement, you feel like you were the one who was going to die.

Jungkook breathing heavily looks up in shock to see you and you say something that breaks his heart and makes him angry. He thought you were here for him but Eunchae’s words of you not loving him are echoing in his head.

You knew he was hurting and you had to act accordingly, so you say, “I got proposed to, Yoongi proposed and I said yes.” You smile and it reaches you eyes and then you look in his eyes and all you see is pain and that breaks your heart.

You were about to back away until you get stabbed multiple times by Eunchae saying “YOU SHOULD LOVE ME AND NOT HER! YOUR MINE MINE MINE!”

You all but backed away but Eunchae was not leaving you that is until you felt the woman being lifted off of you by a police officer.

Jake runs to you and was about to help you up until you got up yourself and looked at him signaling for him to help Jungkook. You both get him to the ambulance and reassure him “Thank you for believing I was engaged, but no I’m not. I am goal oriented not whore oriented.”

-🐣

(I am sorry, I got carried away with this one)

He cannot believe that you saved him from his evil fucking wife- jungkook feels himself falling for you all over again and it’s the best feeling in the world because he’s now safe in your territory.

Even though he’s concerned about the baby in her belly, but if she needs help and she’s gonna go to an institute of some kind she’s just done him a favor because he will be getting custody of the child after she’s done with the breast-feeding phase.. if that even allowed for people like her

He will get a lawyer to prepare the divorce papers so he can divorce her and he’s learned a lot of lessons throughout these few months that stockings, someone or being obsessed with them it’s not worth it. especially ever since he’s experienced that for himself he would never do all of that torture to you

“What? Yn.. so you’re not gonna marry that bastard rapper?? oh my God this is the best news ever!!” He cries out- even though he’s a little injured, but it doesn’t even hurt right now, because he said your smiling face, and he feels himself healing all over again.

Suddenly he wants to live again now.

“ Thank you so much for saving me. You have no idea what you have done… I couldn’t have saved myself because I would have to hurt her and she’s pregnant and I couldn’t do that..” he sighs, tears welling up in his eyes.

You are such an angel, and finally feels like you two will be together soon, even though he has a lot of explanation to do with you

“Yn… I’m sorry I just got so infatuated with you, but I didn’t know that it was going to bite me in the ass when I found out about eunchae’s obsession… I feel so bad for you, and I feel so ashamed of myself… but the truth is, I’m not scared to admit it anymore.”

He looks into your eyes.

“I’m in love with you and I always was.”

[knightwrighter]

CHAPTER-1: LET ME FIX HER HEART! {Hi, my name is Rishi, a 26 year old guy, lives in Bangalore alone in my 3 BHK flat. Being a cardiologist(some other means too),I earn a lot (owns a house and a scorpio) so you can say my life is going way better.I am independent as hell. I am unmarried and for now I have no relationship. My last relationship was 8 months ago with an mbbs girl. In short I am craving for sex for 8 months now. Two weeks ago I met a guy named Jatin,28,mechanical engineer working in an IT company.I don’t remember the company name,it was something like zotoc..He was suffering from mild palpitations and heart burn.So He came to our hospital (RMC Hospital) and I was the one treating him. But it seemed like he was more interested in me rather than in knowing the treatment.His touches and reactions seemed little awkward. Then he started asking about my income, assets etc and start flattering about me .He was a damn leech.He was continuously blabberling about his low income(he told me 35k per month).It was still a good income, isn’t it? After I gave him medicines list, not so long just digene syrup and other tablets.While leaving my ward, he asked my number. We exchanged each other numbers. Then he went way. Relaxed.}

It was 11 pm, while jerking off over a porn, I got a phone call. It was same Jatin guy. I declined. He called me again. It seemed urgent so I took the call.

A man with thrusting voice with a lot of coughing was yelling, “please help me sir, my palpitations have become severe and my chest is aching too much.”

His condition seemed too tense.

“where are you right now at this moment”I enquired him fiercely.

“At ramapuri chowk” he replied with pain.

“are you on any vehicle, could you drive it?” I asked.

“on car but can’t drive”, he replied with a slow voice with coughing.

Ramapuri chowk was near my residence .So without taking any time, I took my suitcase stuffed with important medicines and injections and drove my car as fast as possible to reach the chowk.i took the main road to avoid traffic but it was 10 km far.

After 20 minutes, When I reach there, I saw Jatin with a happy smile welcoming me,”Sir you have come.thanks!”

He was smiling and no one can say he just had palpitation attack few minutes before.

I was like, “what the fuck, man.”

“sorry sir, just a minute before you reach here, my coughing has stopped “he was apologizing like hell I care.

“since you have no problem now,I should go then, jatin ,” Man my dinner is waiting for me and I am dying from hunger because of this moron.

“wait sir, it will take time for you to return home.If you have not dinner yet why not come to my home for it, sir.By the way my home is just 2 km far.”he insisted me gently.

I was shocked for a moment. Did he read my mind or I just really speak my mind now. I was suspicious of him from a long before but my hunger made me to accept his offer. I can’t wait more.

I returned to my scorpio and followed his white coloured Hyundai for about 5 minutes . We entered in G block of Raghibar town.He stopped after crossing two streets and stopped at RIshikant Apartment. Yeah I was amazed at the apartment name.He opened his car door and show me hand.

“this is my apartment sir but my flat is at the top floor,sorry for that,”he said in a guilt smile.

“its okay”I told him. Just feed me man. Give me food!!

I was sitting on a single sofa chair in the dining room.He poured water in my glass first. Then placed two plates one for each on the sofa table. He served me aloo matar and fali sabzi along with four chappattis as well as in his plate.He sat down on the long sofa infont of me.

“life is hard for megacity citizen like here in bangalore.We didn’t even have time to have dinner before 11.00 pm. Isn’t it, sir” he started conversation. I nodded while chewing chapatti.

“you forgot the salad,Jatin,” a sweet female voice touched my ears.

I saw a woman, a beautiful fair women, a perfect figure, approaching us from the kitchen with a plate of salad in hand.She seemd to be Jatin’s Wife.

She was wearing an off shoulder short blue coloured silk nightie barely reaching her knee. It was very tight above her waist but much loose below it, a mere fan wind can easily blow her upskirt to expose her butt cheeks. Her neck and shoulder along with upper chest cleavage were well exposed for a perfect view to attract any man. Her puffed breasts were like they were fighting with the cloth to pop out. The sound of her pajib in foot while walking attracted me towards her gorgeous foot and fleshy calves. I literally haven’t seen a women sexier than her in real life.The best thing is that she was approaching towards me first not Jatin while directly looking at my eyes.

“please have my salad, doctor saheb,” she sensually said.

Man,the way she called me SAHEB just turned me on and what about MY SALAD. What the heaven! A moment before I wanna eat food but now I wanna eat something else too. She gave half salad to both of us. And sat on the single sofa chair beside me holding the empty plate on her lap.Yes buddy she sat beside me! I stared at her lap. Her nightie now slided up a little when she was placing one leg over another.She was sitting crossed leg there.I can see her fleshy shiny bare thighs. I just wanna squeeze my head between them.My dick is getting erected now.Then I looked at her hand. She was wearing many red bangles. They seemed a newly married couple.

Overall The hotty is sitting beside me!

“she is my wife Nayaki,sir” Jatin introduced her to me.

“you really look like doctor” she told me while placing her side hairs from cheek to behind her ears. I couldn’t make an eye contact with her for more than a sec yet.

“well I am a doctor, a cardiologist one. Surely I will look like one,” We both giggled and for a moment I looked at her eye. We made a deep eye contact. Now I saw her face more closely. Her seductive eyes caught me red on. Her face was pretty. A gold nosepin. A beautiful small blue bindi on forehead matching her nightie.

“that means you fixes heart,” she commented giving a pretty smile.

“by the way my colleagues call me love therapist too,” I told her while giving her a flirty smile.

“sure you are” we laughed and take a look at jatin’s face. He gave a fake smile.His eyes were filled with slight anger, we both could sensed that. It would seem weird but she seemed more interested in me rather in him otherwise she would have sat beside him not me. But who cares him. Fuck him off.

He gave a strange stare to Nayaki telling her to get up and go away but she ignored him and kept talking to me.

“my husband praises you a lot, Saheb. I hope you will fix his heart too,”

“sure I will do madam . I took care of my patient very well.,” I assured her.

She calling me SAHEB and Jatin calling me SIR makes me feel dominative even I am younger than them.i don’t know her age but she seems 1-2 years older than me. I don’t know why but it gives me pleasures in a way.Thatswhy I didn’t stop them to call me that way yet. She was surely a dominant woman, no doubt about her confidence either.

Jatin give a slight cough hinting her to get up. But she ignored him again, instead slide the glass towards him. Oh man. It was embarrassing. It surely have hurt his ego. God knows maybe she was attracted towards me! I am not that sexy person but I am more good looking and persuading than him.

“are you unmarried, doctor saheb?”,she asked me this question.

“No, I am neither married nor in a relationship right now”

“how can a man like you not married and not any girlfriend vven you are well qualified good earning doctor. My husband told me all about you”, she told me looking at me with her seductive eyes.I feel damn happy.She was praising me. What a babe!

“I have a relationship in the past but that didn’t work out. Relationships require commitments and I am not good at that.”

“ also your profession is quite busy too, sir” Jatin entered the conversation.

“yes you are right too” I replied

“I will thank to sir for my improved health too. If he had been busy with some girl, I couldn’t have treated by such brilliant doctor”, he started praising me again.

“Its too late, Nayaki, don’t you want to sleep tonight”, He said in tight voice while looking at the clock. It showed 12:30 am.

Now she cannot ignore him. She nodded in affirmation, get up and fixed her nightie and went away while giving goodnight wish, “Good night honey and doctor saheb.”There were two rooms in his flat. Both are built side by side infront of me. She went in the left room but didn’t close the door completely. I could tell she was sleeping in right side of the bed and I could see her feet too.Maybe that was on purpose.

“thankyou for dinner, Jatin, I think I should go now its pretty late.” I said while eating a last slice of cucumber.

“you are right, its pretty late , sir thatswhy please I request you to stay here tonight and you can go the next morning”, he requested me diligently.

“ No, no, don’t worry. I don’t want to disturb you further. Please let me leave.” Have to say for formalities but in reality I want to spend the night here too but with her. But he convinced me to stay here telling me ,”its not you will come here always, please let us be your’s good host,”.I could not say no then.

We both entered in the room where she was not sleeping.

“this room has AC in it. I only set one ac as there is no need for the other one, the other room has a fine cooler where she is sleeping.”he told while holding the ac remote.

“yeah, that’s good.” It was a bit hot there in the room, no fan, only the AC was there. He switched it on.i sat on the bed waiting for it cool the room. Fives minute have passed, the room was still warm. The ac might fucked up itself.

“I think maybe ac is not working well, sir.” Bastard it is not working at all.

“it has been two weeks since we used ac , maybe that’s the reason it is malfunctioned. I will do something, don’t worry.sir ”he said.

“you should, you are mechanic guy after all. But do it quickly, its hot here.”

“ yeah sure in the meantime, you can go to other room,”he told me while making a phone call.

“isn’t your wife sleeping there,”I asked him with questionable eyes. Is he a fool?

“oh,hmm, I will wake her up and you can rest on bed until I fix ac.”he told me. Again is he fool?

“no, you don’t need to wake her up, let her sleep, I can wait in the dining room.” I suggested while avoiding looking pervert.

“no sir, I can tell, you are feeling very sleepy. I will arrange a second bed there in a minute, just wait there in the room.”

“ok I go then.” I told him. While going outside the room, the doorbell has rung. Who will be there at such a time.

“it’s my neighbor, I called him to bring some equipments to fix ac.” Jatin said.I nodded at him while entering in the other room.

After I came inside, I closed the door. Yes I closed the door completely, but not locked it. Now its complete dark here but I could figure out that she was sleeping curled up like a baby humping her curvy butt up. I noticed her nightie was not covering her ass anymore it have been slipping and uplifting due to air blew by cooler exposing her bare ass to me. I cannot tell properly if she was not wearing anything beneath it but that was enough to get me a boner, that was a massive temptation, I wanna touch those huge cheeks very badly but I have to control myself. I was getting a boner already.There were no chair or anything to sit except a table on which a glass jar filled with water and some glasses were placed, I couldn’t sit on the table any way. I waited for him two minutes while standing. He surely would be busy in fixing that ac. I was so tired, I have no option so I sat on the left corner of the double bed far away from her. Ten minutes have passed he hadn’t come. I didn’t call him either. I don’t know why,I just wanna be there. Devil inside me!

Then I thought what would be the problem if I just lay down the left side, its not like my body will touch her in any case. I just lay down there. After a few minutes,I heard someone yawning.She had woken up but I was sure she didn’t notice me.She walked along the bed and stand beside me and grabbed the jar. She poured water into the glass. While drinking, she was bending to sit on the bed not knowing I was there!

She sat on my fucking lap. I could feel her plump butt over my erected dick. Within a second, she jumped and tried to cry, but I grabbed her butts to pull her but the glass had slipped out of her hand and spill all over both of our bodies. For god it hadn’t fall on the floor otherwise he could have listened.

Now her body was laid above my body. I could feel her boobs pressing against my chest. The water had already made our clothes wet and quite translucent. My hands were still on her ass. I felt that she was really not wearing anything under the nightie.There was only a single piece of cloth between her body and me. I was not feeling sleepy anymore, her face have become red which was telling me she was feeling my erected dick against her pussy. For few seconds, we were laid there like a statue and speak no words.

Her eyes were touching my eyes. There was less than a centimeter space between our lips. In the heat of moment, I kissed her, yes I kissed those voluptuous lips. I am a damn pervert. What can I do? But the feeling of heaven was for few seconds only. She pushed me down but could not escape as my hands were still grabbing her flappy butts tightly and lightly squeezing them by own. I raised my back. We were both sitting now but she was sitting on me, and now I could easily see her nipples getting hard behind the wet nightie, she quickly covered them with her hands. Trying to be modest,hn!

Out of shame I slowly pulled my hands back from her butts.I couldn’t make eye contact with her, she also put her face away from me. I could tell she was not angry but surely feeling anxiety, her deep breathes making her boobs lifting up and down.She was aroused a little. I was pulling my hands back but she holds them in the midway with her trembling hand and literally placed them on her breasts.What the heck! Yes you heard it right she placed them on those fluffy boobs. Then she looked at me with those eyes. Those craving eyes, wanting something which is not beyond my reach .That was a clear hint to go ahead.I didn’t wait a second and pushed her on bed and jumped over her body.At that time we didn’t especially me think about anything else, my brain was already numb, her also. I bite those red lips and kissed her badly, my lips over her lips, squeezing them with a brute erotic force. She didn’t resisted this time. She let her body free and just cast aside her modesty and pride for the moment. Her fingers were clasping the bedsheet very tightly while I was groping her boobs mercilessly and continuously kissing without giving a single breath.

This is not some dream, this is reality but I have to convert this moment into a dream worth watching every single night. I know she is not my women. Like hell I care.I not a person who cares about morals. She didn’t care too, didn’t she?

She was moaning but my lips were curbing the noise. I pulled down the nightie from the up and now her breasts were fully exposed.A pair of those piece of flesh were enough to lose my mind. The water spilled over the chest made them shiny.They were magnificent. Not much huge to look shaggy. I squeezed them harder and harder at each moment and kissed her harder to suppress her moans.

Now she was not really resisting at all.As I shifted my lips from her lips to her neck her mangalsutra clipped to my lips, I thought of removing it but she protested, I didn’t mind that. Then my lips clasps on the breasts and then groped them with my mouth and hands both. I placed my other hand fingers on her lips. She was sucking those fingers and I was sucking those nipples.

She was fully aroused. I lifted my torso up and remove my shirt quickly and completely pulled her nightie down and throw it away. Now I could see her full naked body. An embodiment of perfection. A body I desire. Her belly, belly button, waist, those fleshy thick thighs. I tasted every inch of her body with my tongue. But she has crossed her legs to hide her vagina.i didn’t mind that. I started licking her breasts, then belly , then pubic area, thighs and foot and return all along from foot to her lips back. She was feeling my crotch with her hands and all over her abdomen. She tried to open my pant but failed to pull down my underwear.

I took a hint, and I asked, “can I…” she nodded with a little embarrassment. I was feeling the same too but I pulled my dick out. My cock is longer and girthier than average male.She grabbed it quickly and give some sudden jerks. I moaned a little .She was more naughtier than me, man.A true bitch.I placed my hands over her thighs to push them apart to make a look at her vagina. She didn’t protested. Now she was giving me handjob and I was fingering her cunt while making a tongue to tongue kiss.

Now she seemed to me a complete different person than we were talking back. She had been silent and hasn’t speak a single word out of her mouth. All she was doing was talking with her eyes and body.She was shy, embarrassed,scared,timid,modest and at the same time promiscuous, naughty,erotic and non-resistant. She seemed a woman who wants to be dominated. I really couldn’t explain her personality. Maybe she have been acting up like this to make me feel dominative. But still the thought that I was going to screw a married women was provoking me. I stopped for a minute. She stopped licking my fingers.I shifted my eyes to right to avoid contact We didn’t speak any words.

But this time she break the silence.

“what happened?”

“is this right?” I asked her like a kid.i don’t why but I was going to cry.

“I don’t know either. Ignorence is a bliss.” Her eyes were shining like she has no regret.

She pulled my face towards her and give me deep kiss mouth to mouth while holding my head with both her hands and continuously playing with my hairs with her fingers. I was top of her still. We kissed for about two minutes. Then suddenly she pushed me aside with all of her force and jumped over me. Now she was on top of me. My hands were clasping her hands. Our fingers were gripping each other’s. They were interlocked like no force could separate them. Her torso was completely over my chest. She was sitting on my lap holding my hands looking at my eyes. Now there was no embarrassment and shyness in those eyes. My dick was still hard and pressing against her clitoris.I didn’t pushed it inside her yet. I couldn’t make the first move. She was the one who made it.

She lifted her ass and thumped over my dick.We both moaned simultaneously. Now it was all inside her. She started it. Now there is no going back. She couldn’t control herself too.She was lifting and thumping her butts against my dick while I was fucking her pussy. She was completely riding my dick. That was intense. Her bangles were making sounds too altogether. After few seconds we free our hands then I grabbed her boobs and rolled my fingers over her erected hardened nipples.She clasped my shoulder for support.Her head was in the air. We were not kissing just looking at each other weird faces while making love.

The thought of fucking Jatin’s wife while he is fixing the AC in the other room was increasing my libido and making the sex more exciting.

I have been fucking her married cunt in that position for about ten minutes. We changed the position. I grabbed her and thrashed her aside.Now she was laying down on her tummy on the bed and I hopped over top of her butts. I was facing her back and butts. Now I have perfect view of her ass. I moved my hard hands over her bubble butt while her hands were grabbing the pillows. I didn’t insert my dick in her pussy from behind, instead I played with her butts by massaging the space between the two butt cheeks with my cock. I was sliding my dick between her butts up and down.Then I was rubbing my penis against her pussy lips.I teased her few minutes.Then she begged me to insert it inside. I thrusted my dick inside her vagina with quite a force that she was yelling so she stuffed her face between the pillow to suppress her yell. I screwed her pawg ass quite well in that position. I holding her hand with force while fucking her which breaks some of her bangles, I stopped for a few seconds while she get rid of her bangles. Then we both continued.I was smashing her ass very hard.Then I grabbed her waist and raised her torso in such a way that her body and head was in hair staying straight on her elbows and knees, a perfect doggystyle position. I pounded her ass so hard that her my thighs were clapping against her butts making loud sounds. It was overwhelming for me.I thought os slapping her butts hard but considering the noise I avoided that. I fucked her in that position for quite a long time that when I stopped I busted out and fall on the bed while she remained in that position. Her butts and head were still in the mid air, trying hard to stand still on her knees and hands on bed while trying to regain her breath. After taking few breathes she busted out too. We were both lying on the back on the bed facing the room ceiling. But I didn’t cum yet.

She complimented that for me in a slow low voice,” it seems it will take a lot for me to make you cum”. I smiled at her.

“isn’t it good, I mean huge” I winked at her.

“don’t compliment yourself, but yeah sure this is huge one” her talkative behavior was returning.

She slid down her body so that her face can reach my cock. She came top over me again but this time her head was placed above my waist . She placed her hands on my thighs and gulped my dick completely inside her mouth and I placed my foot over her butts. She raised her legs from behind which still have pajib in them and continued sucking my dick without using her hands while continuously staring at my eyes.Shameless bitch was now giving me blowjob. She was giving me a complete deepthroat but slowly slowly. After a minute she pulled the dick out of her mouth and grabbed it with hands and now started licking my ball sacs while giving me handjob meanwhile I was massaging her butts with my foot. She was continouly moving her legs up and down too, I can hear those pajib sounds because of it. She moved her tongue licking my scrotum to the shaft of my dick to the tip of the penis. She licked my tip and shaft for a short time and again started blowing me up while playing with my balls with her hands. She wasn’t an amateur at all.i was looking at her pretty face stuffed with my dick sucking it whole through it.I placed my hand over head and gave it a push to thrust my dick very deep in her mouth and hold her head there while I was fucking her mouth rashly. She was choking and gagging, I overdid it, I stopped when she punched me in the thigh. She removed her dick from the mouth and while taking deep breathes, was furious over me.

“ you are a menace”

“I am really sorry for that” I apologized. I screwed it all up, man!

She laughed at me,”you are kid inside this huge body”. I didn’t understand that. But now she was becoming wildish slowly. Absolutely better than before. Such a sudden change in behavior.

“well I am a kid then let me show how childish I am.” I pulled her by arms and made her sit over me and started ramming her again.

After a few minutes, we changed position and I was lying again top of her. This is gonna be the ending point as I was about cum. I gushed my throbbing dick inside her again. This time I was fucking her faster than before. We were both making loud noises but not much loud to be escaped from the room.

“can I cum inside you” I asked her.

“no, you shouldn’t.” she told me with raised eyebrows.

I was about to cum, so I pulled my dick out and she quickly pushed her body down over the bed to make her head reached my dick.I pushed my cock inside her mouth and ejaculated it all inside her mouth. I was thinking of spreading all over the mouth but I missed the chance. Interestingly she swallowed it all and some of my semen were spilled over her cheeks that she consumed by licking it with fingers. That was all. We were both tired. Both of our bodies had become red. We both laughed for a minute but didn’t talk anything except I commented that I am blessed to fuck such a sexy woman like you, it’s a dream come true. She chuckled. We relaxed for sometime.

She switched on the lights and approached the mirror which I couldn’t see earlier. She was flaunting her naked body infront of the mirror. I came behind her and sticked my whole body behind her back in a way my dick was touching her buttocks. I was hugging her from behind while her whole body was tingling. We were standing naked there. I grabbed her boobs and she grabbed my dick behind her ass. I shifted my lips to her neck and was kissing her nape.

“You fixed my heart.” She told me while staring at the mirror. I didn’t answer anything and continued kissing her neck.

Considering Jatin’s return, we both changed our clothes quickly. Now she wore a green cotton maxi that was covering her most of the body unlike before. We sat on the bed and I was just going to say a word but jatin entered in the room.

Watching our glowing red faces he told me,” I think you two were having a great talk. By the way you can sleep in the room sir, problem have been solved.”

“so the AC has been fixed too!”I smirked at her while stepping out of bed.

“were you not sleeping, Nayaki.” Jatin enquired her.

“It would be inappropriate for a married woman like me to stay sleep in front of a strange man. Isn’t it Doctor Saheb........" She replied winking at me.

See you soon,

Wait for next chapter<2

[hlmowrer]

Week 1: Home MTC in St. George, Utah

Hello friends!  I have written for you today a report of the first week of my new missionary life.  A lot has happened in such a short week, so get comfortable.

The strangeness started as soon as I left home, on my way to St. George, Utah for online training.  I wear a name tag wherever I go, which is often a conversation starter.  The gentleman who sat next to me on the flight from Portland to Denver inquired about my destination.  He wasn't a member of the Church, but was familiar with the missionaries.  I'm learning to get used to people asking me that...nobody paid me much mind in Vancouver or Portland but as soon as I boarded the flight to Utah I realized what I was in for.  Utah is a surreal place for someone like me...I'm used to being the only one in a room who even knows what the Church is, much less the only one who cares to talk about it.  Once you set foot in Utah, it's like the whole world is in on what used to be an inside joke.  The flight attendant, several people sitting nearby, and even the ground handlers in St. George wanted to talk to me, hear where I was going, and wish me good luck.  It's really odd being a representative of something bigger than myself like that, but the encouragement is nice.

Those of you that have been around a while might know that I am cursed to get ill every time I come to this part of the country...this time was no exception.  My first day as a missionary found me spending all morning at urgent care with the world's worst sore throat.  The doctors decided it was viral, and that I just had to wait it out.  That was a week ago, and it is unchanged.  Not fun, to say the least.

As for my work, well, that has been an unparalleled experience.  I am busier than I've been in years.  I have two 3 hour classes a day, and various devotionals, study periods, and teaching appointments.  That last one took me by surprise...apparently the MTC (Missionary Training Center, for future reference) has actors that you teach twice a week to get good at teaching.  Preparing for those lessons is quite stressful at times, but I'm getting better at it.  The second one I did on Saturday actually went really well!  

There have also been an incredible amount of cool spiritual experiences.  I don't think I could keep up with this kind of work without being a missionary.  I've only been going a week, but I've already had a massive boost in spiritual peace and connection.  I have become even more confident that God wants me here, and that there is so much more I can do to strengthen my relationship with Him.  The people He has put in my path so far have been the best part...my companion (the other Elder who's with me all the time) and district (the group of 12 missionaries I go to class with and will soon bunk with) are amazing.  I mean really, we figured out by day two that we got along well but by the end of the week we were 100% convinced that God put us all together.  They're amazing.  Many of those cool spiritual experiences came in the form of what I call "perfect coincidences".  So many times did we happen to study the same random passage of scripture and feel impressed to share it, or feel impressed to make a comment that was perfect for someone else in the district to hear.  One experience on Saturday was particularly special.  We were split into breakout rooms, and were given no further instructions than "be vulnerable".  The sister I was paired with shared some struggles she had been having, and the advice I felt impressed to share was "exactly what she needed to hear".  We repeatedly had exactly the same impressions and comments for the rest of the day, to the point where it was a joke that we could read each other's minds.  I don't think I can read her mind, but I am now even more convinced that God absolutely can.  Over and over I've had peace or specially chosen words and scriptures put into my mind this week, in a way I've never experienced before.  I feel like I can't truly articulate what that's like through an email, but I wanted to share it with you anyway.  I've had confirmation I'm doing the right thing by being here, and I can't wait to find out who I'll be able to serve and how I'll be able to grow over the next two years.  These are the benefits to being focused on Jesus Christ, every day.

On Wednesday I'll travel to Provo, Utah to begin in-person training.  I have very mixed emotions about this.  Adapting to the missionary lifestyle is worth it but often exasperating and I can already feel my little introverted soul having a heart attack about never being alone and being busier than ever.  But, I absolutely cannot wait to meet my district in person or to finally be able to go to the Temple again.  I suppose if Christ could get me through the whirlwind of this week he can help me get the most out of next week too.  In any event, I know this is where I'm meant to be.  As stressful or exhausting as the mission may get, I at least can take solace in knowing I could not be doing a better thing for myself or my future.  And for me, that's a pretty dang nice thought.  I hope this coming week treats you well friends...I'm sure next week I'll have even more to share with you.

 -Elder Beren Mowrer

p.s. Almost forgot...a great little bonus of the week was getting to see my little first cousin once removed  "grandcousin" Evee and her family, who recently moved here to St. George.  She thought my name tag was cool. :)

[pushymage]

Had to spend a couple of hours at urgent care, but now I'm back at home and in a lot better shape than before. Nurses scolded me for not taking an ambulance, but I mean, two years ago when I called one I was told it would be better to go to the nearest clinic if something like that happens again and when I had the same thing happened again and I went to a clinic, I had to wait for seven hours before receiving care even after seeing two nurses and I was having the same issues as I did when I needed ambulance AND when I went to urgent care yesterday.

Yesterday, they were so nice and very quickly took my breathing issues very seriously, they wondered if I should stay there, but I wanted to go home and since my issues were (mostly) resolved with meds, they let me go, but made me promise to come back immediately if I start to feel bad again.

Anyways, I'm alright, still feeling tired and the injection site hurts a bit, but I'm stable. I have so many hospital stories I'd like to share! Mostly bad ones, but I'm glad this one ended well and the nurses & doctor were so nice. Although one of the nurses accidentally pressed the respiratory aid a little too hard against my face, almost busting my lip.

Ya boi refuses to clock out no matter what his body says. NaCl who? More like nat gonna give up! Hf what? Hot as fuck is what I say!

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Kidnapped

Bucky's not naturally a worrier. Not really, not for anyone else except a select few individuals that he dutifully kept close. And when you waltzed into his life, he found himself constantly worried about you. Everything and anything about you, he found himself completely and utterly concerned with. Eventually, he'd learned to back off a little. To trust that you were an adult and could take care of yourself. 

But today, he can't talk himself off that ledge. 

That off-putting feeling of wrongness. 

And he's getting really worried about you. You went on a mission earlier, texted him as you landed that you were going to the corner store and then you were coming right back with an hour to spare for your movie night. You were supposed to come right back.

Right back. 

And that was over two hours ago.

Now it's 6:30, and he's been anxiously waiting for you since you were supposed to meet him an hour ago for your weekly TV watching night. There's an uneasiness settling in his gut, you've never been late for you weekly tradition with him before.

It feels off, not just that you're gone. It's everything. It's that you're not texting him minute-by-minute, play-by-play. You're not calling him asking what snacks he wants even though you know that he likes those sour gummy worms you got him one time.

It's strange, and he's not one to ignore that gut feeling that's kept him alive all these years.

"Hey, has anyone seen-" Bucky starts to ask the room filled with various teammates.

"Barnes, we got a problem," Tony urgently interrupts him, nudging his head and pulling him into the conference room. "Just got an anonymous tip- thought you should see it."

"Go ahead," he says, though Tony's not really holding his attention as much as you are.

"I want you to stay calm," Tony says, clicking the link. The large screen is suddenly filled with a video of you. You, completely unconscious in some unknown location.

"When was this sent?" Bucky demands, standing up so quickly that his chair goes skidding across the floor.

"Team, I need everyone in here. Code, uh, missing teammate," Tony announces over the intercom. Though not fast enough for Bucky- within 60 seconds, most of the available team is here: Steve, Natasha, Bruce, Sam, Wanda, and Vision.

"What happened? Who's missing?" Steve asks as the last person to rush into the room.

Tony opens the link again, showing the clip of you once again. "I have an anonymous link - that's all we have so far."

"Okay, what if it was doctored?" Bruce asks. "That doesn't mean she's missing."

"Yes, it does," Bucky grits. "She went to the store two hours ago. We were supposed to meet at 5:30."

"And it's only," Bruce looks down at this watch. "6:35. She could just be late."

"It's Thursday?" Sam asks. "Golden Girls night - she wouldn't be late for that."

"That's what I said," Bucky agrees.

"We're gonna get back to the fact that you two watch Golden Girls together," Tony remarks. "But Barnes and Wilson are right. She's not responsive- her phone was turned off. I think we need to find her and find her fast."

"Okay, so where do we sta-"

That's when a new video starts loading on the screen. "What the hell?" Tony says, violently tapping buttons trying to get his technology back.

"Hello, Avengers," a masked man eerily announces. "I think I have something that belongs to you."

All the lights turn on in the room the masked man is standing in and just behind him they see you. You're being held in a large glass-like container and still completely unconscious with a large black collar around your neck.

That's when Tony gets a call from an unknown number.

"Answer it," Bucky demands.

Tony nods, picking up his phone and putting it on speakerphone. "Who is this?"

"You chose the wrong person to steal from, Avengers," the man eerily speaks like he knows they're all listening. "Now you're going to give me the artifact you stole back. Or I'll kill your pet."

"Damn it. Give her back. Give her back or so help me, God-" Bucky barks.

"You're in no position to make threats. I'll send you the coordinates. Oh, and you may want to hurry- I have a lot of fun planned for your friend."

You're engulfed in darkness, the heaviness of your limbs is finally fading. As you finally regain feeling in your limbs, you jolt to your feet. "Oh, look who is awake!" A man in front of you exclaims. "I think I'll keep this camera on- you can watch how you kill one of your own," he remarks then hangs up.

As the man moves out of frame and zooms in on you, they can see as you try to take in your surroundings. You're in a clear glass container, shackled to the bottom of it. There's a large pipe leading into the box. "What's going on?" you groggily ask.

"The Avengers have taken something of mine. In return, I've taken their little pet."

"And I'm the little pet?" you ask, pointing your finger at yourself in disbelief.

"Yes."

Your hand flies at the glass, instinctively pounding on it and trying to get a feel for the sturdiness of it.

"Ah, ah," the man tsks. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. You break the glass, if your friends decide to try any heroics- I'll press this button and kill you instantly."

"Ooooohhh," you exhale shakily, though it sounds more out of amusement than fear. "James' going to be so mad...You know he's always telling me I need to be more careful. I think this is the kind of thing he's talking about."

"This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about," Bucky shouts at the screen.

"You know she can't hear you, right?" Steve asks, putting his hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"I imagine they'll all be upset when they watch you slowly drown," the man says, sending another fresh wave of dread over Bucky.

"This containers gonna fill up with water?" you ask, pointing to the large pipe leading inside the container. "And they're watching this right now? Like you're filming this?" you question plainly, pointing at the camera.

"Correct."

You turn to look at the camera placed behind the man. You wave gleefully. "Hi, guys! Don't worry I'm okay!"

"You won't be for much longer."

And just like that ice cold water is rapidly funneling into the large glass container. You can't contain the yelp that leaves your mouth when your feet are hit with the most ice-cold water you've ever felt. It almost sends Bucky over the edge. You stick your hand out and try to channel your abilities, but it's useless. The man's head nudges to the collar on your neck, the man taunts, "You're powerless here."

"Hey, um Mr. Villain Man?" you shakily chatter. "I'm sorry I'm being rude, what's your name?"

"That's none of your concern," he hisses.

"Oh okay, I guess. It's just- the water's really cold."

"An incentive for your friends to move quickly."

"Don't worry. We'll get her back," Steve promises Bucky, who refuses to tear his eyes away from the screen.

"After she freezes to death or after she drowns?" Bucky snaps.

"Well this here- this is one of the reasons I have tracking devices on all of you. Just give me a minute and I'll find her," Tony says, already tapping away on his screen.

"Wait, what?" Steve challenged. "You have tracking devices- On all of us?"

"Of course I do. For this very reason," Tony shrugs, only half paying attention to Steve.

"How did you manage to hide tracking devices on our person?" Nat questions, slightly freaked out that Tony managed to chip her. 

"Easy. Different spots for all of you. Microscopic, you can't even tell that they're there," Tony touts.

"Well, where's her's?"

"I put it in the charm on one of her bracelets."

"Her friendship bracelets?" Sam asks.

"Yes?"

"Who the hell got a charm?" Sam demands, holding up his wrist. "And why didn't I get one?"

Everyone looks down, examining their own bracelets. Everyone except Bucky, who doesn't need to look because he knows his bracelet like the back of his hand. Just like he knows the charm hanging off of it.

"You mean this charm?" Bucky asks, lifting his arm and gently flicking it knowing it'll piss off Sam even more.

Sam's mouth drops a little and he shakes his head. "I'm not gonna lie. That hurt- that stings."

Bucky rolls his eyes and turns back to the screen. "Tony," he urges, watching the way you're already shivering, though he knows you're doing your best to put on a brave front.

"Just give me a minute," Tony hisses.

"So, we're just going to wait?" you ask, letting your eyes wander around the room.

"Yes," he man sighs in frustration.

"Soooo," you start again, kicking your foot through the cold water and making it splash around. "Do you do this a lot? Kidnap Avengers?"

"You're hardly an Avenger," the man laughs bitterly. "You could be the most powerful being on this Earth and yet you settle for being their little sidekick."

"I like working with my friends."

"Hmm...and where are you friends now? How long did it take them to realize you were gone?"

You shrug, your words coming through uneven breaths. "I don't know. But I do know, that James will scold me for this after I get out of here." You turn to the camera. "Hey, when I get back can you guys tell me if I used that word right? James likes to scold me."

Bucky looks down pinching the bridge of his nose. While the man talks to you again, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, Steve told me that James doesn't show affection like most of us. He's actually kind of grumpy, but I think he yells at me because he cares."

"Or maybe he's not as good of a friend as you think?"

You ponder that for a moment. And Bucky's heart drops, his stomach twists with the thought that you could even doubt how much he cares about you.

"Nah," you wave your hand dismissively. "I mean sometimes he's confusing. And I don't really know how much he likes me, but I know that he does."

"So naive, thinking they'd give you the time of day if you couldn't do the things you can do."

"That's not true. They're all nice to me- they're my friends," you reply defensively.

"Are you always this irritating?"

"Hey, you asked and I answered." Then you look down, the water already reaching around your knees. Your breath is shaky and you feel the freezing water all around you - so cold that it feels like it's burning you. "And according to Tony, yes I am."

"Tony," Bucky impatiently urges again. "If you don't find her in the next minute, I'm taking that artifact and I'm giving it back."

"Can you just be patient? I'm doing the best I can."

You're waist deep in water, watching as the man picks up your wallet from the same table that the camera is resting on. He flips it open and start rifling through it's contents.

"You carry a picture of the Winter Soldier, interesting," your kidnapper says holding the picture up to the camera. It's a picture of you and Bucky. The two of you are on the couch, both fast asleep, curled up into each other. What the cute little captured moment in time didn't show was that Sam had taken the picture, woken Bucky up with the shutter of the camera, and then proceeded to get chased by Bucky for taking said picture. "And one of your little friends."

"Yeah, you know for a bunch of superheroes it's really hard to get everyone still enough to take a picture."

"I got it," Tony announces. And as quickly as the words left Tony's mouth, Bucky's up out of his chair before anyone says anything else.

"Hold on, Bucky," Steve interrupts, blocking Bucky's exit. "We still need a plan. We can't just go in there gun's blazing."

"You want me to hold on?" He says gesturing to the screen, the water now reaching up to your waist.

"You heard the man, he gets a whiff of anything funny and he'll kill her. We have to be smart about this," Steve reconciles. 

"Fine," Bucky snaps. "But we figure it out on the jet."

And it takes much too long for Bucky's liking before him and Steve are standing outside of the building you're apparently being held in. He's practically vibrating with desperate anticipation, all he needs is the cue from Tony. 

"You're going to have 30 seconds to get her out," Tony says into Bucky's ear piece. "If he has a generator set up they usually take a minute before they kick in, and if he has a fail-safe set up..." 

"I get it," Bucky curtly replies. "I'll go straight to her - Steve you get the control just in case I don't get her out in time."

"Don't worry, we'll get her out."

"You've got 30 seconds. Starting...now," Tony announces, all the power in the surrounding area suddenly out.

When Bucky runs in, he runs straight to the container. Your head is completely pointed up and you're on your tiptoes trying to keep your face above water. "Don't worry. I'm going to get you out of there."

Your eyes flicker down to see Bucky standing there, swearing he's going to get you out. Then you take one last gulp of air before you're completely submerged in the container. Bucky punches the glass, once, twice, three times and nothing.

"20 seconds, Barnes."

"Will you shut up?" Bucky snaps. He takes a deep breath and with all of his strength, he punches the glass as hard as he can. Finally seeing a large crack appear, he concentrates on the very center until water is pouring out all over the floor. He pays no attention to the water pouring out and drenching him, he grabs you and picks you up in his arms. Your lips are blue, you're shivering so hard that it seems more like shaking, and you're breathing is so uneven it frightens him to his very core. "I got you. Don't worry- I got you."

"I need a blanket," he calls, running you to the jet where Tony, Bruce, and Dr. Cho are waiting for you. "Jesus, you're freezing."

"Doll, can you keep your eyes open for me? Talk to me," he says, gently stirring you.

"I'm sorry- I got kidnapped," you chatter, barely able to breathe. Your eyes flutter shut as you take in the feeling of being in Bucky's warm arms, the knowledge that you're finally safe. At least, that's what it feels like to you. Like your just giving in to the darkness, letting it soothe you. Until Bucky shakes you awake again as he runs you up the ramp and up into the small room they've got waiting you you.

"FRIDAY, vitals," you hear Tony call.

"Blood pressure and pulse are dangerously low, body temperature is down to 85 degrees," FRIDAY announces.

"Put her down, Bucky. We've got her," Bruce says, but Bucky refuses desperately wanting to hold onto you. 

"Bucky, you've got to let them work," Steve interjects, trying to pry you from Bucky's grasp. "She'll be fine, but you need to let her go."

Bucky nods and finally lets Steve lay you on the table. "I'm staying here," Bucky grunts.

"Just stay out of the way," Tony states, already completely focused on the task at hand. Bucky reluctantly takes a seat, never once taking his eyes off of you. He cranes his neck over Bruce and Tony trying to get any indication that you're going to be okay. 

And he watches...

When they cut off your favorite yellow shirt.

When they hook you up to an IV with warmed saline.

As they cover you in heated blankets. 

"She's crashing," Bruce calls. And only then does Bucky have to look away when they pull out the small crash cart and try to resuscitate you. Involuntary tears slip out of his eyes as he clutches his hair.

This can't be it, it can't be, he chants to himself.

Clear, they call the first time. Then the second. By the time he hears it the third time, he's sure he's lost you. And for the longest second of his life, he hears complete silence as they listen to the monitor you're hooked up to. Then they hear it, the sound of your heart still beating in your chest. And he's thanking God that just one time he gets to be the lucky person. That for once he doesn't have to lose.

He's next to you the entire time. Once you're stable in the hospital, he's tucked under the blanket with you. When the doctor tells him that skin to skin contact is best for warming, he does it without hesitation, though he doesn't actually take off any of your clothes. His forehead is dripping sweat with the amount of warmth surrounding the two of you and he still refuses to move an inch. Even when Sam makes fun of him for it.

And when you wake up in the hospital, the first thing you are aware of is the heat source right next to you. Without even opening your eyes, you find yourself cuddling further into it, making Bucky's heart flutter.

"Doll?" he whispers, feeling you beginning to stir.

"James," you croak, your tired eyes slowly opening.

"I'm here."

"Without a shirt on?" you quietly chuckle, feeling his bare skin against your arm.

"Sorry, they said skin to skin contact was best," he sheepishly replies, grabbing his shirt from the nightstand. 

"I didn't say I had a problem with it," you mumble, stopping his movement. He sighs in relief against your head, putting his arm around you and pulling you even closer. "You're never going to let me go to the store alone ever again, are you?"

"Not a chance."

"Okay," you peacefully hum against his bare shoulder.

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series Masterlist

[kakyoinswifey]

Hello!! I absolutely LOVE your writing! 🥺💘 the Jotaro one made my day!! <3 Would it be alright if I can request for a part 4 Jotaro comfort fic? Maybe fem reader is a bit shy about admitting her emotions and she and jotaro have these workaholic habits, if that is alright? You can write it however you’d like! Thank you!

Hi, sweetie! Thank you for your words, it means A LOT, you actually made my day. I have a weakness for Jotaro so I definitely needed to write this, thanks for the request, I hope you like it💗

I miss you — Jotaro Kujo x Reader

Again. A thousandth sigh during the last hour escaped from your lips. The afternoon that you had planned to spend with your beloved daughter and your husband had been replaced by a busy and lonely one, Jotaro had received a call from a colleague, apparently they had advanced the deadlines and needed to present an exhibition that he had not finished yet. And, even though it didn't happen often, a friend of yours asked you to review some documents from the office because your boss had requested them urgently, so you had to accept.

Meanwhile, Jolyne was playing in her room with some new toys that Joseph, Jotaro's grandfather, had given her a few days ago. You were grateful that your daughter was independent even though she was still little kid, otherwise you couldn't do both at the same time: take care of the little JoJo and work. Even when you could have the freedom to work from home, spending time with your family was getting harder and harder, schedules rarely overlapped because of the busy schedule you both had, and the last thing you wanted was to be away from the people you loved the most.

You looked up to find a small photograph that you had treasured since you got it, it showed a 10 years younger Jotaro hugging your smaller figure, snuggled next to him. The sincere smiles made you long for those years when you definitely had more free time to spend with him, but as much as you wanted, you wouldn't be able to say it out loud, much less in front of your husband.

You knew that, as much as you had, he had put a lot of effort into his studies and his work as a marine biologist, that had been his goal since he was a teenager and he had achieved it with dedication, even if it was very busy to him, he liked his job, and quite recently he had been appointed head of a fairly important investigation, which is precisely why both of you now had no time to share, but you were not selfish enough to claim some attention, especially when he seemed to enjoy it.

You moved your fingers away from that frame, you had barely realized that you had been caressing the dark-haired man's face in that picture. You yawned a bit, getting up from your seat to walk towards the door of your office. Fortunately, you had finished reading and filling out all the paperwork that night.

Your house was in deep silence, so you went to Jolyne's room to see if she was up to do any mischief so late. When you opened the door you found your daughter asleep among the stuffed animals that decorated the corner of her room. You carried her in her arms and snuggled her into her bed, giving her a warm goodnight kiss on the forehead and turning off the lights to keep them from disturbing her peaceful sleep. You thought of joining her for a moment in her bed, so you lay down next to her, looking at her peaceful face and examining her fine features and comparing them between yours and Jotaro's. It was an easy task, your girl was a beautiful and feminine image of Jotaro, almost like two drops of water but at the same time so different. Despite having wanted to distract you a little, tiredness got the best of you and you ended up giving in to sleep shortly after reaching your little conclusion, so tired that you didn't even realize that a pair of strong arms took you in them to go to your own room shared with your husband and tucked into your big roomy bed.

You didn't become aware until you felt a familiar weight on your chest, your hand lazily traveled to it and caressed the unruly strands of Jotaro's black hair. You didn't even need to open your eyes to know it was him, that habit of laying his head on you had become something important between you. It was a way of saying that he was particularly tired, he used to do it since you were in college, just in those difficult weeks when you had to take important exams, or when something extremely important had to happen. So you realized that it meant that he was stressed. Even now, he only wanted to snuggle into you to listen to your heartbeat. It was a comforting thing for him to know that you were around to support and understand him when he needed it. You smiled sleepily, letting him know you were awake thanks to him.

"I didn't want to interrupt you." He told you quietly. You shook your head, preventing his attempt to apologize. "Don't worry, tomorrow is my rest day, I'll be able to sleep a little longer if Jolyne doesn't wake up hyperactive." You tried to joke around a bit, but you heard him nod with a tired murmur. Your arms wrapped around his back as you caressed him in search of providing some comfort for your husband. "Are you okay?" You pronounced, trying to blur the dream you had to focus on him.

You waited him to mention his work, the heavy research, or his thesis he was preparing to graduate soon, you were ready to help him even if it wasn't a real big deal. "I have to travel as soon as it dawns, they prepared the conference for tomorrow afternoon and I need to be ther as soon as it's possible." You expected everything except that. "But you came back from Tokyo a few days ago, didn't you? It's supposed to take a while before they ask you to travel again."

You heard him growl under his breath, which made you feel bad, you knew he was stressed and maybe you were being annoying at the time. You sighed. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to reproach you for your work." The atmosphere tensed, or at least you felt it do so. Your fingers stopped their reassuring run over the man's broad back.

Jotaro thought you fell asleep again, so he got up to look at you for a moment, but he only met your eyes (E/C) following him intently. He knew what was on your mind, he had always been intuitive, and knowing you as well as he did only made you an open book to Kujo. His left arm rested on the soft mattress while his right hand rested on your cheek, carefully caressing your face, as if touching you too much would break you. "Something bad is happening?" He whispered, his voice was like a charm, the deadening effect he possessed could make you give in to many things, but it wasn't what he wanted. He wanted you to say what you felt. You hesitated a lot, but the aqua gaze on you with a gleam that meant she would accept what you would say convinced you, despite the embarrassment you felt about it. "I just thought we could start spending more time together, but there always seems to be something in between. Your work, mine, I guess this is starting to get overwhelming. JoJo misses you, I miss you." With each word, you felt your voice recede a little more until it disappeared into something that could barely be called a whisper.

Now it was you who rested on the muscular chest of the man, who had snuggled you there in order to have you close. It was his non-verbal way of letting you know that he also wanted your presence attached to his. His hands rested on your hips while yours wrapped around his neck. "I miss you too, Jolyne and you, and I'm the first to hate not being able to be by your side all the time. I'm sorry about this, this is not the life I promised you when we got marri-" Your index finger quickly traveled to shut him up. You leaned into him so you could look him in the face. "Don't you dare say I'm not happy by your side, Kujo."

Perhaps those words made him fall more in love with you, or the firmness with you said it while frowning so beautifully. "I love you, and that won't change even if I don't see you for a hundred years, but it's true that I wanted us to be together much more than time to barely say good morning." Being able to talk to your husband without measuring what you thought you could or didn't say felt good, especially when Jotaro kissed you afterward. His lips on yours felt like heaven itself, despite looking quite rough, when he kissed you he did it with care and affection, you knew how much he loved you every time he did it, and even though it wasn't a deep or lasting kiss, you knew it was a new promise.

"I won't let them stop me from seeing my wife or daughter again, I assure you. I'll probably give up leading these conferences or the investigations." He felt very secure of what he was saying, or at least it sounded like he was, but it wasn't what you wanted, that had been his goal since college and you would be a terrible partner if you supported that idea. Instead, you spoke again. "No, no quitting. I don't want you to leave your job and I don't want to leave mine, but we can ask for vacations, right? No one has taken days off for a long time, I don't think they'll object, and maybe we can better organize our schedules to spending more time together, would that be okay?"

Your proposal had convinced him much more than his own words, so he nodded as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "That sounds so much better." He said. That conversation had released the pressures and now the only thing you wanted was to settle on top of him and be able to sleep as much as you could.

...

When you got up from your bed, you saw Jotaro completely ready to go. You smiled a bit sad, but you returned his goodbye kiss before seeing him walk towards the front door. Just as you reached for the doorknob, he turned to you. "I have made breakfast, but I will not accept complaints about the food." A soft laugh escaped your lips, you knew how terrible he could be in the kitchen, although sometimes he managed to prepare real dishes —every time he did, they turned out to be detailed recipes that Holy taught him while they talked on the phone—. "I've also left three tickets. The Old Man wants me to travel to Morioh, I don't know where it is, but I thought the three of us could travel together, so prepare your bags, okay?" You smiled brightly, walking towards him in a hurry. "Come back soon, we really love you." You said before getting up on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. You could see him smile to himself before getting out and into the taxi that was waiting for him, while you waved goodbye in the air until he was out of sight. Despite everything, you knew that everything he did was for Jolyne's sake and yours, and you were happy about it, and you were sure that you and your family would be together again.