#I mean I have no idea what the movie is about except Ana de armas said they’re having threesomes

[bbyboybucket]

A movie about them being in a threesome is the wildest crossover for me

[milarvela]

Daddies and Fetuses

Also known as Blonde. Not much about being a blonde in the movie, as far as I can recall, except for the women laughing at Marilyn being a fake one. Plenty of daddies and fetuses. Would’ve been a much more accurate title. Anyway, I finally watched it. Not nearly as bad as I thought it’d be based on the trailer and some reviews. That said, my expectations were the lowest.

Kind of disappointed it wasn’t unintentionally funny, as far as Ana de Armas’ acting is concerned. I mean, how many times can you laugh at breathless whispering before it gets boring? Both the laughing and the listening. I expected hilariously OTT mannerisms but whatever. I felt nothing for her character, no joy (there was laughter too, unlike many reviews say), no compassion, not much anything. Probably the combination of the voice and what was said, as well as the fragmental story are to be blamed.

The dialogue really was even worse than de Armas’ annoying way of speaking. It was corny. Ridiculously so. Kind of weirded out by reviews that said the characters spoke very little. That’s not true. It’s just that they spoke utter trite.

The worst thing about the movie was the way it was made. I know nothing of the technicalities and no doubt fancy names for the stuff but it looked like somebody had for the first time ever tried film-making and decided to experiment with all the “artistic” stuff they could think of, such as fast-forwarding, slow motion, making the picture sort of wavy (that was funny though), alternating between black & white and colour, distorting men’s mouths (lol)... You know, very basic stuff that surely nobody can call sophisticated or artistic (hence the quotes) unless something clever is done with them. Nothing clever was done with any of them in this movie. Oh, there was also animation. Starry sperm. That wasn’t artistic either. Though maybe the end credits were the most artistic thing there was. Only stars there, no sperm in sight.

As for the much advertised and disapproved sex and nudity, maybe I saw some tame version. Sure, lots of de Armas’ breasts but once you’ve seen them (goes for all breasts of course) the novelty wears off. It did. No point to it either. The threesome? Meh. The rapes? Didn’t see any. Early on, there was some producer fucking her all of a sudden but since she just took it, I assume it was a fair exchange: a fuck for a role. Later on, JFK was telling her to not be shy, so she gave him a hilarious blowjob. Hilarious because I was watching the screen laughing at the thickness of whatever she was supposedly sucking, until I realised it was her hand I saw; they were not showing anything while trying to show something. Which appears to be difficult.

That whole thing with JFK was the worst part of the movie. Not because of the blowjob, just because it was the most boring part. I did laugh at the caption (had those on, not really part of the movie) when she was peeing (no idea why that needed to be shown). It said: urinating forcefully. Um, okay? The other men (husbands) were as could be expected, I guess. Violence towards her was mostly just heard. Well, there was Norma’s mother trying to drown her, which I think was the only slightly uncomfortable scene in the whole thing.

There was some attempt at engaging story-telling when Marilyn’s relationship with the Juniors was depicted. Fictional relationship, as far as I know. Still, an attempt was made.

Anyways, back to Daddies and Fetuses. Not a fan of the way the movie handled the so-called daddy issues. What was the point with the letters, for example? To demonstrate how stupid and gullible Marilyn had to be? The fetuses were a joke. As I said earlier, couldn’t feel any sympathy for her. I’m assuming I was meant to, while images of fetuses were shown repeatedly, a doctor was peeking through her private parts, she was screaming when having last minute regrets, the fetuses were talking etc. It was all very bizarre and kind of funny, not the least bit discreet or tasteful of course. But if the idea was to shock, it didn’t succeed.

Same goes for the whole movie. Much ado about nothing.

[krokodile]

i’m so bored.

a vigilante - with this, olivia wilde transitions from “that dead-eyed lady from house/the lesbian from the oc” to someone i actively seek out because i’ve come to expect stellar performances and interesting projects.  i’m not entirely comfortable with that.  she’s amazing in this.  solid concept, but by the end i was really waiting for it to end.

knives out - SUCH a fun ride, with the exception of maybe 15-20 minutes in the middle that lost me a bit.  christopher plummer continues to be the ultimate badass, ana de arma is SO FUCKING ADORABLE, and the whole supporting cast is on point.  even the most minor roles are written and acted well.  

birds of prey - i mean, comic book movies aren’t my thing, but i had a feeling this one would mesh with my sense of humor, and it did.  i came to have a good time, and i did.  not much to say about it.

don’t let go - i’m so glad storm reid’s career is picking up.  immensely talented young lady who deserves so much better than that adaptation of a wrinkle in time.  i don’t think i’ve seen david oyelowo before, but he’s clearly fucking great at what he does.  movie itself was kinda whatever, but the leads absolutely crush it.  (just looked him up, apparently he was in the cloverfield paradox, which i did see but barely remember.)

wrinkles the clown - i wanted to love this so badly, but it was really clear that they didn’t have enough material for a feature-length documentary and were really stretching.  

the hunt - centrist satire never works for me.  betty gilpin’s performance was great, and emma roberts’s small appearance had me on the floor.  loved amy madigan and reid birney’s brief roles as well.  but that was about it.  really felt like it had nothing of value to say.  can’t say i agree with the people who found it misogynistic, but that may just be because i didn’t think it was worth thinking too deeply about.

the turning - sucked.  good cast couldn’t make up for a godawful script.

the poughkeepsie tapes - they tried so hard to cram every disturbing, edgy thing they could think of into this, and it ended up totally losing me because of it.  sometimes less is more.  love the idea of a serial killer who deliberately designs each kill to appear to have been done by not just different people, but people who match completely differing profiles, and there was one scene that was really affecting, but for the most part i was rolling my eyes a bit.  not awful but i feel like it could’ve been something great with a bit of editing.

little joe - of all the movies to make pretentious, they went with this one?!  how can a movie like this be absolutely no fun at all??