#I may do art dumps once in a while

[gonergoat]

Town of Salem 2 art dump + [My Protag in Arcane Odyssey] Cherie art practice

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

you had me at 'hello'

the sequel to daddy all along

pairing: dbf! leon x f! reader

cw: alcoholism, p in v, masturbation, oral sex

word count: 10k

a/n: "when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" <3 (quote from when harry met sally, title from jerry maguire)

thank you to @thevirgincherry for your feedback!

Leon remembers when you used to call him on the phone as a child. You’d interrupt his work, and Hunnigan would tell him to hang up, but he’d ignore her for a few minutes. You were too important. You’d pace around the living room, telling him about your day at school, what you did at recess with your friends and the art project you’re working on. He loved to hear about it. Most days, it was the only good news he’d get.

It pained him to hang up, but he promised you he’d call to say goodnight, and he did. Even when he drank, he stepped outside the bar and tried his best not to slur his words.

“Do you have a daughter?” A woman he’d go home with would ask.

“No,” he’d say, but it felt like it.

When FaceTime was invented, it became your favorite activity. Leon would pay extra for an international phone plan and for wifi in every hotel room, so he could talk to you. He kicked a woman out of bed once to speak to you. He never saw her again and hasn’t thought of her since.

“It’s an important thing for work,” he told the woman.

She knew he was lying when she heard a little girl’s voice on the other end while she was putting her clothes back on. He didn’t bat an eye at her expression - confusion, distaste, bitterness, who cares? Not Leon.

You’re his favorite girl, the only girl he’s ever cared about.

The morning after your 21st, Leon gently shrugged you off him. He washed his face in the mirror, hoping to wipe away the previous night’s mistakes, but he was still the same old Leon. A fuck-up, an idiot, a pervert who slept with a girl he’d known since she was a baby.

When you woke up, he was in the shower. You’d go on to ask him if he jerked off, and he’d say no, but he did. It wasn’t lust, it was procrastination - five more minutes before he’d have to face you. He tried to think about Ada with one hand on the wall and the other on his dick. Your name slipped out when he came, and it felt like another violation, in addition to lying and then cumming down the drain with your shampoo bottles - the ones containing the sweet scent of you - scrutinizing him.

A long time ago, Leon promised he’d never lie to you. It was the one promise he’d kept - until that morning when he told you ‘something important came up, and he had to leave ASAP’.

You could see it in his eyes, but you took out your anger on your father, who deserved it more after he came home that afternoon with an obvious hangover. You screamed at him until he told you to go upstairs. You were already on your way.

Leon only knew how to deal with his problems in three ways: call his therapist, drink, or fuck. That day it was either drink or fuck because there was no way he could tell his therapist that his mental crisis was caused by fucking his friend’s daughter, a girl who was decades younger than him. It wasn’t an illegal act, but he still felt like he deserved to have the cops called on him. I should get the death penalty, he thought. Unfortunately, capital punishment was not allowed in D.C., but Leon considered the fact that his actions may have been heinous enough for him to be granted an exception. 

He decided on alcohol. He went to the ABC store, bought a handle of whiskey, got home, and dumped it down the kitchen sink. Nope. He promised everyone he was done with that. His therapist, Hunnigan, Claire, Chris, himself, and most importantly, you. He promised you.

Sex it was, then. He never promised anyone he’d be celibate. Leon was well over 40, so he didn’t use Tinder - though he had heard of it. He looked through his contacts list like a little black book, and his thumb hovered over a few names. He debated and picked Claire. Another idiotic decision.

“Hello?” Her voice already sounded suspicious. He didn’t call Claire on the phone often. They usually stuck to emails and texts.  

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m okay, Leon. Why are you calling?”

“I just wanted to talk. Do I need another reason?”

“Are you drunk?”

“No.”

There was a long pause until she said,“If I promise not to bring it up again, will you admit that you’re trying to get me to hook up with you?”

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Goodbye, Leon.” She hung up on him. He should’ve expected it. He texted her an apology later, which she accepted.

Soon after, before he could make another mistake, he received a text from a number he hadn't saved. “Are you in D.C.?” It read.

“Who is this?”

“A.W.” She wouldn’t even sign her full name - didn’t want a paper trail. Classic Ada.

“Yeah, I’m home right now.”

“I’ll be there in an hour or so. I have some things to finish up.”

“K” Leon texted and left the door unlocked.

He knew it was her by the click of her heels.

“In the bedroom,” he called.

“Perfect,” she said when she reached the threshold, “Nice of you to be ready for me.”

He shrugged and smiled because he was tired and had been in that position for hours, but he’d pretend like he’d done her a favor by getting down to a pair of sweatpants before she arrived.

She worked on getting out of her dress. “Not going to help?” she asked, annoyed.

“Thought you could do it yourself,” he said, teasing her.

“Thought you treated your guests nicely.”

“I’m about to.” And he did. At least, nice enough. They didn’t talk during sex because they never do. They’d worked out the logistics of their arrangement long ago. It was a pretty sweet deal, especially since there were never any condoms involved. Leon didn’t mind paying the 40 or so for Plan B in the morning. He couldn’t give less of a fuck what the cashier at the pharmacy thought of him. 

“Can I talk to you?” he asked after round two. He used to have more stamina. 

“About what?” She was slightly more interested and less suspicious than Claire was when he’d called her earlier that night.

“I need advice.”

“That’s new. I’m flattered.”

“You know that girl, my friend’s daughter?”

“The one you’re always gushing about? She’s practically your daughter.”

Yeah, you really were his little girl, considering even Ada had heard about you from Leon. 

“Don’t say that.” His defensiveness was a confession in and of itself.

“You slept with her,” she said, matter–of-factly.

“How’d you know that?”

“I can see the guilt in your eyes. She’s an adult, right?”

“Yeah, just turned 21.”

“Okay. Nothing illegal, then. Just… an interesting situation.”

“Yeah, I fucked things up pretty bad.”

She hummed in agreement. There was no pity, but no ridicule either. She cared enough not to laugh at his idiocy.

“What do you want me to say?” she asked.

“Whatever you’re thinking.”

“Either be with her or don’t. Don’t string her along.”

“You’re one to talk,” he mumbled. He wanted the remark to pass through the air as a bit of his dry wit and not his eternal bitterness.

“I’m not stringing you along. You know that this is all we’re ever going to be.”

“That’s what I told her.” 

“But she’s 21. You’re much older, and if you can’t wrap your pretty little head around this arrangement yet, then…” 

He was 21 when he met Ada. And she broke his heart without giving him any reason to think whatever they had was more than a kiss. Ironic. He wondered if she knew the way she was playing with his head at the time. He’d always liked to believe she had a good heart, it was just deep, deep, deep down under all the layers of mystique and her cold disposition.

He was supposed to be the good man, the hero, a beacon of morality, of all things just. But he was on Ada’s level now. Ada the heartbreaker.  

“Can you just tell me what to do?” He asked, pissed off at his own indecision. 

“Why? So you can blame me later when you don’t like the choice you make?”

She knew him well. He stayed silent. 

“I’m not going to be your scapegoat,” she said.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thank you for your honesty.”

She laughed - almost, but it was genuine amusement because, despite it all, she did care. People never really stop caring do they? She left in the morning and didn’t need an excuse, not like Leon did with you.

You told yourself you wouldn’t call, but weeks went by, and you hadn’t heard anything. You were wondering if was alive at that point. And you missed him. So you called.

His phone vibrated on the bedside table; he picked it up, looked at the caller ID, and saw your name. A part of him still got that same warm, fuzzy feeling that he always felt when you called, and the other part was full of dread and guilt.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” you said.

There was a lull. Dead air, not peaceful silence. 

“How are you?”

“I’m okay. How are you?”

“Doin’ fine.” It was a lie. You missed him too much to be considered “fine.”

Your hands should not have been traveling downward, but they were. They had a mind of their own that lived between your thighs. You couldn’t help the fact that his groggy voice made you ache.

“What are you doing right now?” You suppressed the urge to ask him what he was wearing and where he was. You imagined him sprawled out in bed, naked and ready for you.

“Nothing. I was lying in bed, nodding off when you called.” He wasn’t nodding off, but he was in bed, mind filled with memories and stress per usual.

“Sorry to interrupt your relaxation, then.”

“It’s no big deal.”

He told himself that he’d keep one hand on the phone and the other fidgeting with whatever he could find so as not to reach any lower than his waistline. But there was something about your voice, the way you were talking - it was different than usual. He was probably just imagining things, but it sounded like you were touching yourself.

He was getting hard already, and it was distracting. He had to do something about it. It was either jerk off to the sound of your voice or think about something horrific and grotesque to make his dick go soft. He spent enough time thinking about dead bodies and parasites, so he indulged himself and decided to worry about the consequences later. It’s not like you’d know anyway. Leon could be stealthy.

“What are you up to?” he asked.

“Calling you.” Your little laugh was light and airy, and maybe he wasn’t just imagining things. It was the voice you used when you asked him, so coquettish, to kiss you.

You thought you heard him moving around, and then he dropped the phone. He was trying to hold the phone between his ear and his shoulder while taking his pants off.

“Sorry. Dropped you,” he said when he retrieved the phone.

“How’d you do that? It just slipped out of your hands?”

Fuck. She caught on quick. Too smart for her own good. 

“Guess so.” He didn’t have an excuse. All of the blood that was supposed to be in his brain was in his cock, which was now painfully hard.

“What have you been doing these past weeks?”

“Work mostly.” Thinking about you. I can’t get you off my mind, no matter how many other women I sleep with.

“Anything fun?” your question felt pointed even though it wasn’t.

“A little bit.”

“Like what?”

“Some things should stay a secret. I’ll tell you when you’re older.” He would never tell you about his escapades with Ada.

You thought you knew what he meant. You couldn’t decide whether to be jealous or not. You were too focused on remembering what he looked like during sex, and it was a glorious sight. Someone should paint him, sculpt him, anything to preserve his beauty, you thought. It was worthy of a new renaissance. 

“Have you been up to anything fun?” he asked, not sure whether he wanted to hear about any of your sexual escapades or not.

“No. Just lounging around the house mostly.”

“Hangin’ with your dad?”

“Can we not talk about dad right now?” Your dad really kills the mood.

“Are you guys not in a good place?”

“It’s not that, I just don’t wanna think about him right now. I’d rather think about you.”

The words came out more suggestive than you intended. You could hear his breath hitch, and it might have been arousal, or it might have been surprise, but he knows.

“Oh? You’re thinking about me?”

“What else would I be thinking about?”

“I don’t know.”

He coughed to hide a groan that wanted to leave his mouth while you were biting your lip to hold back any moans.

“Leon…” you said, and it was the same voice you used to call him daddy the night he found out what it felt like to be inside you. 

“Uh-huh?”

“How do you feel about me?”

I love you. “You know how I feel about you. I think you’re great. You’re a great girl.”

“A good girl?”

Fuck it. He’ll take the bait. “Yes, you’re a good girl.”

“Even now?” He could hear your pouty lips and dewy eyes. He could see the image of you coming undone beneath him. Angelic, soft, heavenly, ineffably so. 

“Why wouldn’t you be? Are you up to something… naughty?”

“Maybe. It depends. Are you?”

He didn’t answer because you both knew that you were in the same state - naked and needy.

“Where are you?” he asked.

“In bed.”

“What are you wearing?”

“Your shirt.”

The one he left there. It only aroused him more. It was a white t-shirt, and the fabric was thin enough that if Leon were there, he’d get a peek of your nipples hardening through the fabric. He could slip his hands under your shirt and play with your tits. He could, if only things were different.

“What else?”

“Nothing.”

Nothing. You are naughty.

“Nothing?”

“Are you wearing clothes?”

“Barely.”

“Why did you drop the phone before? Taking your dick out?” You were so flippant and crass that it should’ve sounded ridiculous, but Leon was too hard to care. 

“Might have been.”

“Did I catch you while you were already jerking off or…?” Or was it me?

“No, I wasn’t when I picked up.”

“But you are now.” It was not a question.

He took a deep breath. “I’ll admit it, as long as you admit you’re touching yourself too.”

“I am.”

“Is that why you called?”

“No, I wanted to check on you.” It was true. At least, in your conscious mind, but maybe your subconscious always knew that you wanted to do this.

“And what? You like my voice that much?”

“Yeah.”

Leon closed his eyes and allowed it to happen, giving himself this one little sin because he’d been good for so long, more than good - heroic.

“What are you thinking about, baby?”

“You, Daddy. I told you.”

Daddy? Jesus Christ. Leon was sure he was pushing his luck with God. He was getting more than he deserved in this bargain. Honestly, he never deserved anything you gave him. You were so perfect and he felt like he was ruining you. 

“Be specific, princess.”

“I wish you were touching me.”

“Yeah? How so?”

“I want your fingers inside me.”

“My fingers, huh?”

“No, more than that. I want your mouth, too. I want all of you.”

Your voice faltered mid-sentence like you were getting closer to your peak, but by the end of your statement, your confidence overrode anything else. You didn’t just want his fingers, his mouth, his dick; you wanted all of him. You wanted his fucking heart and soul.

“You have me.”

“I want you here, inside me.”

He needed to be inside you. Fuck his dignity, fuck his sensibility, fuck his morality. He needed to feel your warmth around him again.

“I want that too.”

“Did it feel good for you? Did you like the way it felt with me?”

You were begging for a yes, and it was easy for him to give it to you. The truth is easy.

“The best. You’re the best I’ve ever had.”

“You’re lying.”

“I wish I was lying, princess.”

“Leon,” you whined, and it didn’t matter that you weren’t physically there; the sound reverberated through his dick, and he was dangerously close.

“I know,” he said, “Me too.”

“Can I? Please?” You didn’t have to ask, but it was hot when you did.

Leon wanted to make you beg, but he needed you to come first, and if he heard you say please again, he’d risk coming before you - no, he would come before you. He was already teetering on the edge.

“Come for me,” he said.

And you did. You were muffling your moans with your hand over your mouth, but you were close enough to the phone that Leon could hear it. He was lucky he was alone because he didn’t hold back when he moaned out your name. He shouldn’t have done that at all, though. Just another tally to add to the endless list of sins.

“Thank you,” you said.

“Don’t mention it,” he said, meaning it two-fold. Please do not mention this.

“Am I going to see you again?”

“Yes, you’ll see me again.”

I’m never going to leave you, and you know it.

The next time you two saw each other, Leon picked you up from the hospital. You were not the patient, thank God. It was your dad. Drunk driving accident. Leon was more pissed than anything else.

The nurse asked if they should call your mom, and you laughed. Dare you to try, you wanted to say. They understood.

“Is there someone you can call?” They could see the loneliness behind your stoic facade.

“I can try.”

You called Leon.

“Hey,” he answered, not knowing his nonchalance was inappropriate for the circumstances.

You didn’t cry when you drove to the hospital. You’ve been your father’s emergency contact since you turned 18. Your heart was beating out of your chest, but no tears fell. You didn’t break until you heard Leon’s voice.

“I need you,” you cried into the phone.

If it weren’t for your tone, he’d think you meant, “I need you in my bed,” maybe even, “I need you inside me.”

But you were crying. He could hear the tears before they’d fallen.

“Where are you?” He masked his panic with sternness.

“Hospital,” you managed to say through your sniffles.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Leon was already grabbing his keys and jacket, imagining the worst.

“It’s not me, it’s dad.”

Leon was only slightly relieved. He doesn’t want your father dead, but you’re his girl; you can’t die on him.

“I’ll be right there.”

Leon didn’t drive fast, he drove safely. 

“Name?” The woman working at the front desk asked.

“Leon Kennedy.”

“Relationship to the patient.”

“A friend. His daughter called me. I’m here to come get her.” He knew they’d want more of an answer than ‘friend’, and he was more than just a friend. He spoke with such conviction as if it were his right to be there as if they had to let him see you.

You didn’t talk on the way home - not to your house, but to Leon’s apartment. You insisted. You couldn’t be in that house, and Leon knew precisely why. 

It was over a decade ago. You were at least 6 or 7, but no more than 10. It was one of those things that Leon tried to forget.

You called him on the landline and gripped the phone with both hands, slippery with sweat.

“Leon, I need you.” He swore he could hear a whispered ‘help’ at the end of your sentence, or maybe it was just his instinct.

Thank God you called his cell. He talked to you while he drove.

“What’s going on, sweetheart?”

“Dad. I don’t know what happened.”

“Is he okay?”

“No. He’s in the kitchen. On the floor. He’s not moving.”

“Is he breathing?”

“I think so.”

“Did you call 911?”

“No, I called you.”

I can be your father figure, your guardian, or the one who tucks you in at night, but I am not a paramedic.

“You need to call 911. Tell them what you told me.”

And you did. Leon got there after the ambulance arrived.

“Sir,” they stopped him before he could enter the front door, “we’re dealing with an emergency. We need you to wait out here.”

“I can’t.” He brushed them off and called your name. You came flying out the front door.

“Who are you?” One of them asked.

“Leon,” he said because that was the only answer.

He slept on your bedroom floor that night.

No, he didn’t sleep. He watched you sleep, constantly checking to see if you were breathing.

“I can sleep on the couch,” Leon offered.

“No,” you said.

“No? I don’t have a guest room.”

“I wanna sleep in your bed with you.”

Do you want to sleep with me? Absolutely not.

He raised an eyebrow, not daring to say the words aloud lest he put them into your mind.

They were already there, and you both knew it.

“Not like that. I just don’t wanna be alone. And I don’t think you wanna sleep on the floor.”

“No funny business.” He held out his pinky finger for you to take.

“No funny business. Serious business only.” You took his pinky and cracked a smile that mimicked the one he was holding back. You shouldn’t be laughing at a time like this, but you have to if you want to avoid crying.

Leon let you wear his clothes to sleep because you didn’t bring a change of clothes. You didn’t stop at home. It wasn’t the same as last time.

He was about to turn off the lamp on his bedside table when you said, “Leon?”

He turned to see you lying on your side, facing him.

“Yeah?”

“One kiss?”

“I thought I said no funny business.”

“I’m not trying to be funny at all.”

“I know,” he breathed the words into your mouth as he accepted his fate.

You gripped his shirt for dear life and wrapped one leg around his hip. He expected your tongue to be in his mouth and your hands in his pants soon. But he was wrong. It didn’t go any further than that. Your lips left his, but you never entirely pulled away. You clung to him.

“I just want to feel loved,” you whispered, answering questions he didn’t have the words to ask.

“You are,” he said confidently.

You fell asleep on his chest. This time, he did sleep because he could feel your steady breathing. 

You found him in the kitchen, making breakfast in the morning.

“I have good news,” he said.

“Pancakes?”

“No. I mean - yes, if you want, but that’s not what I meant. Your dad’s awake.”

“Really?”

“Really. You wanna stop by your house on our way over to the hospital? For a change of clothes.”

“I can’t wear this?”

“I don’t think the hospital staff would appreciate you not wearing pants.”

“Why not? They make everyone wear those little hospital gowns anyway.”

“You’re not the patient. Plus, I think your dad would prefer you in pants, too.”

His expression told more than he was willing to say. He’ll think we had sex. We didn’t. But we did.

“I was kidding.”

“I know you were.”

“I’d like to see you in one of those hospital gowns.”

“I hope you never have to.”

“We could play doctor and patient.”

He turned to face you, mouth agape in surprise but holding back his laughter.

“If we did - which we won’t,” he held out a finger as he spoke, “you would be the patient.” Joking is a slippery slope.

Your dad went to rehab. Finally, it was a win in everyone’s book. Leon moved into your guest room during the months that your dad was away. It wouldn’t be fair to leave you alone when your life had been shaken up like that. Leon made it clear from the beginning that you would be sleeping in separate beds. He loved you, but not like that.

“You don’t wanna do it again?” You asked one night.

“Do what again?” Leon was tired from work. You were used to seeing the good version of him. He can’t hide behind the facade of the happy-go-lucky, charming guy 24/7.

“Have sex,” you said, making sure to enunciate, “with me.”

“No. We’re not doing it again.”

“Why? You said it was the best ever.”

“Why? Because this,” Leon gestured between the two of you, “cannot get more complicated than it is. I cannot take care of you and fuck you at the same time.”

You’d never seen him get so serious. Even on your 21st, when you were flirting with him, and he tried to brush you off, he was still being playful, still willing to let you try to win him over.

Your lips parted, but no words came out. You stood still until Leon grabbed the remote control and un-paused the TV. Then, you turned on your heels and walked upstairs. You put yourself to bed that night.

You hadn’t realized the possibility that you were anything but an angel in Leon’s eyes. You were a burden to your father, a bigger burden to your mother - enough that she packed her bags and left, but being a burden to Leon - you’d never imagined it. Maybe he was just strong enough to carry the weight of you. Maybe your problems were too heavy for him now.

You didn’t cry. The wells had dried up. You cried them out over your parents. There weren’t any left for Leon. You fell asleep to the sound of the fan overhead.

You and Leon didn’t speak about it. He wanted to say, “I’m sorry for talking to you that way,” but he didn’t want to open the door for you to proposition him again. Maybe you’d just forget, he hoped.

Leon continued to be distant, and you had no one else you could talk to the way you did with him. You had no one but a few friends from high school who were home from college. You loved them, but you couldn’t relate to them a lot of the time. You knew they would accept you if you talked to them about your dad and his situation, but it always felt like there was some sort of wall between you and the rest of the world. One that was never there between you and Leon. Sometimes your dad managed to break through it, too. Sometimes.

As your father progressed in his recovery, you allowed yourself to let optimism back into your life. You went to visit him one weekend and ate lunch out in the yard.

“How’s Leon?”

“He’s fine, I think.”

Your father could see your attempt to evade further discussion.

“Is that it? You used to talk about Leon all the time when you were a kid,” your dad smiled as he spoke, “I’d come home, and you were always blabbing on about ‘Leon, Leon, Leon’.”

“Not much to blab about. He’s just Leon.”

Your dad accepted whatever you were willing to say and whatever you weren’t. He asked you about your friends, too. You’d spoken to him over the phone, and for the first time in a long time, he’d remembered what you spoke about. You didn’t have to retell the same stories because he was sober now. Your dad was drunk so often you thought you hated him, but sitting next to him on that sunny afternoon, you remembered why you loved your dad. He didn’t mention the tear that slipped down your cheek when he pulled back from his goodbye hug. He just gave you an extra “Love you, Kiddo” with a smile before sending you off.

Leon lived in your guest room, but emotionally, he was miles away. He had always been a workaholic, but it felt like he managed to spend even more time at the office than usual. One afternoon, when Leon was at work and you were sulking in your room, you got a call. 

Leon used to schedule his lunch breaks around you. When you were in middle school, struggling to make friends, you sat at a picnic table out in the courtyard on the phone with Leon. You cried on your first day. Your voice shook with every word, “I can’t do this.”

“You can do this.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you’re you. You’re my girl.”

You told the mean girls who bullied you that you were talking to your boyfriend who went to a different school and they were stupid enough to buy it. Leon made you promise to stop, threatening to spill your little secret. 

One time, you went to the nurse after having a shitty third period, and subsequently getting cornered by the worst of the bully clique. They told you that you had to call your parents if needed to go home or you had to go back to class. You called Leon and lied, saying you felt too sick. He knew you were lying and he didn’t have to call you out on it for you to see that you’d been caught. You climbed into the passenger seat and he flashed you a look.

“So, what’s really going on?”

You dished out the gossip over milkshakes. You sang Sheryl Crow on the drive from the Burger King drive thru to the pond just far enough away from the school.

“This is a one time deal,” he said, “or Hunnigan will take the stick out of her ass and make me into a kebab with it.”

You laughed so hard that vanilla milkshake came out of your nose. At your expense, Leon laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes.

“You better not tell your dad about this either,” he said.

You pinky promised on it.

Middle school was long gone, but the days of you needing him were not. He was the one to break first. He needed you, too, it seemed. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, princess. I have an important question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“There’s a thing I have to go to for work… that I completely forgot about until Hunnigan reminded me… it’s an event with a bunch of diplomats and shit - point is, they’re sending me as the rep for the DSO and I need a date.”

“What’s your question?”

“Will you be my date?”

“When is it?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow? How formal is it?”

“Black tie-ish, maybe, I guess. I don’t know that much about dress codes. Hunnigan usually helps me with this.”

“I don’t have anything that formal.”

“That’s why I’m giving you advanced notice. So you can get something.”

Fuck it. “Okay,” you said. 

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll be home early tonight and we can figure out the plan for tomorrow.”

You were not Leon’s girlfriend, not his wife, not his daughter, but you were his date for the night. 

This wasn’t the first time you and Leon had danced together. He’d gone to a father-daughter dance with you when you were in kindergarten. Back then, you wore a little pink dress, cheap tulle fabric, and a tiara atop your head. Tonight, your gold dress was form-fitting around the hips with a tailored hem so you could dance without tripping over your feet. It didn’t quite brush the floor, the fabric stayed clean. The slit halfway up your thigh could only be seen when you moved. The classiest tease.

“Dance with me?” you asked with your hand out as an invitation, already inching towards the dance floor.

He thought about it for a good moment, and with an eye roll, he took your hand.

“For you,” he said.

It felt like prom night, in the awkward ‘where are we supposed to put our hands’ way. There was a novelty about it. Your arms around his neck and his carefully placed at your waist, no lower. You swayed back and forth, and Leon felt at peace for the first time in a long time. There was no pressure to be the father you never had and no expectation of the two of you sleeping together. It was just you, beautiful as ever, smiling as you swayed back and forth in time like you’d practiced.

“Did you take dance classes?” you asked him.

“No, why?” he asked.

“You dance effortlessly.”

“It’s not hard. You’re doing it too.”

“But you’re leading.”

“It’s simple,” he says, counting each step 1-2-3-4, slowly leading you through a box step.

Your smile made Leon smile. You made him giddy like no one else.

“Can you twirl me?” you asked because you knew he could unless he’d somehow forgotten how to in the years since he’d done it when you were a little girl.

“Of course,” he said with an unwavering grin as he spun you around, and to your surprise - and delight - he dipped you, too. He even dared to press a kiss to your cheek when he pulled you back up.

I love you. It was on the tip of your tongue, but you kept your mouth closed. Your smile said enough.

You and Leon made the mistake of getting tipsy on champagne, but the open bar was too tempting for either of you to refuse.

“I usually leave these things early,” Leon said to you around midnight. 

“You usually don’t invite me.”

“I should more often because you are a great dance partner.” It became effortless once you got the hang of it, so you both danced until your feet hurt, and then you danced a little more. 

“I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my dancing because I’ll probably never walk again after tonight,” you said, leaning onto him for support, “I need to get these shoes off.”

Wait until we get home, he tried to say, but what came out was, “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?”

Leon had complimented you a thousand times. This should not have felt so novel. You were always his pretty princess, right? But his smile was not light and playful like it usually was with you. The look on his face was so sincere. The redness rising in his cheeks was the confession. It was real. 

“Should we go home?” You asked, secretly hoping you could get him to crawl in bed with you when you got there. 

“We have to wait until one of us sobers up enough to drive unless you want to get a cab…” he said, “or, we could get a room.”

Leon’s face lit up, almost like he was proud of himself for coming up with the idea - a little giddy about it, too. 

You had an even better idea to accompany his genius plan. “Can you hold the glasses while I get us a bottle?” You whispered. 

“What?” He whispered back. 

“Here.” You thrust your champagne flute at him after you down what was in it. “I’m going to go grab us something.”

“Wait,” Leon said, stopping you. 

“It’s not like they’re going to miss it.”

“I didn’t say ‘no’, I said, ‘wait’. Let me book us a room first. Then, we'll come back to conduct your little ‘operation’.”

Leon made mistakes, but he wasn’t completely careless. He flashed you two room keys a few moments later. 

“Take this,” he said, handing you one, “and go up to the fourth floor, room 405, take the glasses. I’ll get the bottle.”

You nodded and snuck out. You were lucky that no one was in the elevator to catch you with stolen goods since you didn’t have a jacket or a big enough purse to hide them in. You opened the door to find a lovely room with only one bed for the both of you to share. 

“Perfect,” you said to yourself. You stepped out of your shoes and slipped off your dress. You were down to only a thong, no bra. Seducing Leon was a secondary motive. You really just wanted to get out of your clothes. 

You covered yourself with the sheets before Leon walked in. You wanted it to be a surprise, and you were freezing your ass off. He swallowed hard when he saw your dress pooled on the floor. 

“So?” He asked, holding up the bottle. “Want me to do the honors?”

“Yes, please.”

He poured one glass for each of you and said, “A toast?”

You nodded and held up your glass, giving him the go ahead. 

He hesitated. “A toast to you,” he said, “for being the prettiest girl in every room.”

You clinked glasses with him and tried not to look too emotional. 

“Like Celine and Jesse, right?”

“Hm?”

“Stealing the champagne. In Before Sunrise they steal a bottle of wine and wine glasses.”

“Yeah, I forgot about that. I think I’m Celine and you’re Jesse, though.”

“You do? Why?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I have.”

You put your glass on the bedside table while Leon took off his shoes and his jacket. He left his glass sitting on the dresser next to the TV. Every rational part of his mind would be telling him not to do this, but they had all been lulled to sleep by the alcohol. 

He didn’t climb into bed next to you. He leaned over and kissed you. It was better than you remembered. You reached out and pulled him in again when he pulled away to take a breath. This time he didn’t argue, he leaned into the kiss. It was more passionate than the last time you’d done this. 

Leon murmured something about taking his pants off and you made no effort to stop him. The room was quiet minus the clinking sound of his belt buckle and then the pop of a button and the pulling of a zipper. You’d seen Leon’s dick before. You were eager to see it again, and yet, waited patiently while you watched him undress. His calloused hands ran down his torso, taking his shirt off button by button. He hung up his clothes in the closet, though he’d send them to the dry cleaners regardless. He wasn’t sexy, hot, DILF-ish. He was beautiful. You pretended you were watching your husband take off his suit after a long day at work. A familiar man, one you’d chosen to lie down next to every night. You longed for that choice. 

He returned to you in nothing but his underwear, matching you in his state of undress. 

“Wanna let me in?” He asked. 

You lifted the covers. When he got under the sheets, he lay down on his side facing you. Your bodies drifted closer to each other until your skin was touching his. His lips were on yours again. You weren’t sure whether or not to ask. You didn’t want to shatter the delicate moment. 

His hands roamed your body, ending up on your waist. 

“Can I touch you?” you asked. 

“Mhm,” he said. Not a reluctant yes, but a guilty one. If he didn’t say it, maybe it wasn’t so bad. 

He watched as you palmed him through the fabric of his underwear. His breath hitched, and you asked, “Can I go down on you?”

He didn’t respond at first. “Please?” You asked. 

“Yeah,” he said. His gaze was hazy and warm despite his icy blue eyes. He changed his position so that you could be on top of him. You kissed down his stomach, making your way down to the v-line of his hips. He pulled the covers down before you could dip your head below them. You thought it was a courtesy. So you could breathe. 

He said, “I wanna see you.”

You were slightly nervous for your performance, but he looked pleased with the show by the time you’d gotten his dick out of his pants. You licked a stripe up the side while you looked into his eyes. He rubbed your cheek and smiled. 

You took him into your mouth, slowly easing yourself down so as not to gag. You couldn’t go all the way down, but he didn’t mind at all. He was focused on trying to keep his eyes from closing and his head from lolling back. 

His breath was ragged and his hands ran through your hair. He didn’t dare move his hips. 

“Fuck,” he said, “C’mere.”

It was clear he was getting close. He pulled you up so that you were on top of him, your noses touching. He asked in a whisper, “Do you wanna do this?”

He was nervous. You could hear it in his voice. You’d had sex before. It wasn’t your first time doing this with each other. But, it was your first time making love. Something Leon hadn’t done in so many years it felt brand new to him, too. 

You nodded and he swiftly flipped you over, so he was on top. He was going to take care of you. He always took care of you. That was the one thing that never changed between the two of you.

He kissed you with such a passion that every other kiss you’d shared before that was put to shame. Every time he touched you, he did so with reverence. The last time you were naked and entangled, it was morally dubious at best, a cardinal sin at worst. This was something holy.

He slipped your thong down your thighs and you kicked it off, letting it disappear somewhere in the sheets. He’d peeled back the final layer that stood between your skin and his. Leon paused. Everything paused. All that was left was your heavy breathing, matching his, and the thrum of your heartbeat, hard, but steady in your chest. Sure of its own existence more than ever at that moment. Leon ran his hands over your entire body, making sure to learn the way every atom made up your physical form. He understood you more than ever when his hands grazed your inner thighs. Your breath hitched when he brushed his fingertips over your clit. 

Then, he began to finger you, getting you ready for him - which didn’t take very long. 

You felt the head of his cock prodding at your entrance, and he asked, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

It took you a moment, but you realized what he meant: I don’t have a condom. 

“Yeah,” you said, confidently as the thought of feeling him inside you without any barrier made you more aroused. 

He began with slow thrusts. He kept his body close to yours. He didn’t increase his speed, but you could feel him deeper inside you. When he was finally fully encased by your warmth, he groaned. You could feel his cock pulsate and it made you moan. He never pulled all the way out, he stayed deep inside you for as long as he could, rocking his hips slowly. You wished for your bodies to melt into one. This was the closest you’d ever get. 

It didn’t make you scream or cry or swear, but your breath quickened and your legs trembled. You got close to the edge faster than the last time. It took all of Leon’s willpower not to come when you did. You didn’t warn him, though he saw it coming. You arched your back and dragged your nails down his back. You could apologize later if you even remembered. He pulled out just in time to paint your thighs with thick white ropes.

There was the briefest moment of clarity. The duality of ‘this was a mistake’ and ‘I love you’ was at the forefront of both your minds. 

“Don’t think about it,” your eyes said when he returned with a wet washcloth to wipe you down. 

He got into bed beside you and pulled you close. 

You didn’t talk about that night, but things got marginally better. In some ways, it was like the sex had smoothed things over. You noticed the creases forming next to Leon’s eyes when he smiled at you - it wasn’t forced anymore. But that was all it was. When you brushed up against him in the kitchen, he walked past you, not thinking anything about it. You wanted his arms encircling your waist, his face in your neck, pressing kisses to your skin. Since that night, your thoughts were filled with wedding bands, baby clothes, watching Leon get dressed every morning from your shared bed. You wondered sometimes how well he remembered that night in the hotel. His credit card sure did. 

You started spending time with friends. You needed to get out of the house before you made yourself crazy. When you did go out, you stayed out late, and Leon gave you the typical “if you’re going to drink, don’t drive,” which was all too pertinent given your dad’s situation.

You didn’t drink that night, so you did drive home. Your friend had a family obligation the next day - oh, what it would be like to have one of those, you thought. 

You got home around midnight after having been out since the afternoon. You walked inside, took off your shoes, and planned to go to your room until you heard rustling coming from the living room. You walked into the living room, your living room, your father’s living room, to see Leon balls-deep in some woman you’d never seen before.

With messy hair falling upon his forehead and sweat beading on his brow, Leon locked eyes with you. The mystery woman was facing away. You could only see her brown hair on the throw pillow and her legs wrapped around Leon’s hips. You bolted upstairs, worried you’d be physically ill if you stayed in that room for one second longer.

This time, you did cry - after screaming into your pillow. This was worse than leaving you. There was no contract between the two of you about being with other people; rather, he’d specifically told you to find someone else the first time you’d had sex. It was a one time thing. But it was a one time thing that happened twice, more than twice if you count the time over the phone. Every act of love you shared, no matter how right it felt, was still a broken promise, still a foolish decision, just kicking more dents into your fragile relationship.

This was the greatest violation in all of human history. You wanted to tattle to your father, but what would that do? Yeah, fucking on his couch would get Leon a read of the riot act, but to truly explain the severity, the double backstabbing that he’d done, you’d have to tell your father that you’d slept with Leon. And you sure as hell weren’t going to tell him about that.

There was a knock at your bedroom door.

“Go away,” you yelled.

“Open up,” Leon called back.

“Go tell that to the stupid whore downstairs! I don’t want you anymore!”

She can have my sloppy seconds, you thought. But, in reality, weren’t you having someone’s sloppy seconds the whole time? Leon was your first, your only, but you were a notch in his bedpost.

Leon could scold you about calling the woman a whore, but he didn’t. “She’s gone. I kicked her out.”

“Pumped and dumped her, too?” Just like you did with me, Leon. Only you can’t leave physically.

“Excuse me?”

“Come and go, blow your load, and hit the road; how else would you like me to say it?”

“Open the door,” he said again, but you could hear the smile forming on his face. At least you were funny, even if you couldn’t be good enough for the true once-in-a-lifetime love you wanted from him. 

You opened the door, dressed in your PJs, which consisted of a tank top and a pair of panties. He didn’t deserve to look at you like that. You covered yourself with the door.

“What do you want, Leon?”

“To apologize.”

“For what?”

“For having sex in the living room.”

“Why?”

“You know why. All of the reasons why.”

He knew you about as well as you knew yourself. He knew all the ‘whys’ even if he couldn’t verbalize them.

You remember when you were little and got in trouble for a stupid thing you did as a child. You disobeyed Leon in some way - secretly ate a cookie while he wasn’t looking, snuck out of your room to watch TV, messed with his paperwork, etc. You drew him an ‘I’m sorry’ card in crayon.

He wasn’t going to pull out the crayons.

“What can I do to apologize to you?”

“Nothing. There’s nothing. It’s all wrong. It’s all gone. Everything.” Everything we were, everything we could’ve been.

When you were a little girl, you thought you were going to marry Leon. He and your dad both thought it was funny, so you had a fake wedding ceremony. It was innocent at the time. You had ring pops instead of wedding bands, and he kissed you on the cheek, not the lips.

You were going to be ‘Mrs. Kennedy’. Your brain persisted, and Leon only solidified the idea in your mind when he took your virginity. It was the last piece of you that you held from him. He had your soul but never your body. Now, he had that, too. You had an old t-shirt of his and tainted memories. Nothing more.

“What do you mean?” He asked. There was a partial understanding. Everything between the two of you was always going to be different. He’d warned you before you had sex with him. But there was more to it than that.

“I just saw you with that woman. I can never unsee that.”

“You’ve seen me naked before, and you know I’ve had sex with other women.”

And I promised you nothing.

“But, it’s like, you’re totally different now.” You gestured vaguely at his body, something that now held more meaning, a complex layer of disgust covering him.

“How?” I’m the same man I’ve always been.

“Not to me.”

He sighed and held the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

“I think you see me as someone I’m not, someone I’ve never been.”

“That’s not true. You’ve always been good to me.”

“But you only know what I show you.”

“So you’re a dick to everyone else? You’re a fucking asshole every moment I’m not in the room with you?”

“I don’t think I’m that bad, but I’m not anyone’s knight in shining armor.”

“You were mine.”

“No, I wasn’t. You thought I was. I didn’t want you to see the bad parts of me. I still don’t. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Goodnight,” you said and closed the door in his face.

There was nothing you could do to forget. You felt something you’d never felt before. You wanted your mom - a woman you had no memory of, someone you’d never known. She left when you were a baby, but your dad never talked badly about her. His words were rare but had a nostalgic sweetness. You’d heard Leon say a few nice things about her over the years, too. You had a picture of her in a drawer in your bedroom. You pulled it out and looked at a face almost identical to yours. You wished, in some way, that both your father and Leon had left with her. Surely she wasn’t perfect - in fact, you should resent her for leaving, but you’d never heard anything to taint your image of her. She was just a woman who made a bad choice once, but you weren’t attached enough to be angry, and no one had cracked the facade you put up around her image. If you had her phone number, you’d call.

Leon was in the next room over, and somehow, he was further away than her and more absorbed in mystery. 

Your dad came home. He came home sober with suitcases in hand, holding his arms out for you. You ran into them. You sobbed harder than you ever had. Happy tears flowed easier than sad tears. There wasn’t anything holding you back from crying.

Your dad’s hand held the back of your head while you buried your head in his chest. You ate dinner at the kitchen table together. You felt lost without Leon. He left your house, you stayed, and yet it felt like you’d woken up in a completely different place than the one you’d fallen asleep in. It wasn’t bad, just different. You wished there was a way to put all of the parts of your life together. You’d have to put super glue on mismatched puzzle pieces. It would always be a futile effort. You had Leon, you have dad, you’ll probably never have mom. 

“What are you thinking about?” Your dad’s voice called you back to the present. 

“Nothing,” you said, faking a smile. 

“What are you really thinking about?”

“Mom,” you said. You were, you always got stuck when you thought about her because you were trying to imagine a woman who was a stranger to you. 

“Mom? Why?” You expected him to be somber, maybe bitter even, but he was intrigued, it seemed. 

“She’s been on my mind recently. I’ve been thinking about you, my dad, my parent, and- and I don’t want to sound greedy because I’m lucky to have you here, but I wish there was more than just us.”

“You’ve got Leon,” he offered. 

You scoffed, waving it away with your hand. “Don’t bring up Leon right now.”

“Is there drama between the two of you?”

“No, I wouldn’t call it ‘drama’.” 

It’s way, way worse than that, you thought.

“You’ll get over it, he’ll get over it. It always works itself out.”

“Who are you and what did you do with my dad? What’s with all this optimism?” You playfully nudged his shoulder. 

“What can I say? This whole therapy thing has given me a new outlook on life.”

He paused before taking on a more serious tone. “And, a near-death experience gave me a new appreciation for life. I didn’t care much about my own life. I could take it or leave it.”

“Dad…” You couldn’t find the right words. 

“No, no, let me finish: you are important to me.” He put his hand on your shoulder and locked eyes with you. “I remember going in and out of consciousness the day of the accident, and seeing your face. I hate to see you cry like that. I didn’t realize how much the things I do affect you.”

You raised an eyebrow. I’m your child, you thought, how would it not affect me?

“I’m serious. It sounds stupid. I was being selfish, and I always knew that, but I didn’t realize how much you needed me. You had Leon, and you always liked him better anyway. I figured you didn’t mind being left alone with him sometimes.”

“I don’t mind seeing Leon, but I still need my dad.”

“I know. I was making excuses for my own behavior. I know it’s a little late to say it, but I want to be a good father.”

“Better late than never. Better than mom…”

“No,” he said, “you don’t know your mother’s reasons for leaving. It wasn’t you. She loved you.”

“She left because of you.” You were blunt with him. You usually were. 

“She couldn’t take the drinking problem, my constant working. If she could’ve taken you with her, I think she would have.”

“If she wanted to, she would have.”

“No, babies are expensive, and I was always the breadwinner. I think she hoped it would be a wake-up call and I would get better. She thought it was the right choice for you.”

You sighed and tried not to roll your eyes. You wished he’d get angry at her for leaving. Shouldn’t that be easy? Shouldn’t that be right? Whatever, you thought, maybe he’s like you - good at making peace with people leaving. 

“I know it wasn’t due to my parenting, but you turned out pretty darn great.”

“I’m kind of a disaster, actually.”

“Blame the ‘disaster’ parts of yourself on me. You’re kind, you’re funny, you’re smart-”

“I’m not that smart, trust me.”

I’m such an idiot. You have no idea. 

“I’m not going to ask because somehow I feel like whatever you’re up to, it’s something I don’t want to hear about. Just promise me you’ll be safe, okay?”

“I promise. As long as you promise, too.” You held out your pinky. 

“Promise,” he said, interlocking his pinky finger with yours. 

You let yourself believe him. You decided to take a dose of his optimism, irrational as it seemed. At least let yourself fantasize, right? You’ve got something. Maybe not everything, but something. Maybe not Leon, but you’ve got dad, and isn’t that what you wanted the whole time? 

That same night, Leon went out with a woman he’d been casually talking to - it was time to move on from you, at least in the romantic way. 

You’d always have some sort of bond.

Leon sat through dinner, dissecting his steak out of boredom. It wasn’t worth the price. He could cook a better one himself. The woman sitting across from him was talking about something, but he wasn’t quite sure what due to the fact that he wasn’t listening. 

“Leon?” She said, irritated. 

“Yeah?” He said with the least fake-looking smile he could muster. 

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, why? What did I miss?”

“I asked you-”

“-have you seen the movie ‘Before Sunrise’?”

“Yeah? I never really understood the hype.”

“What? It’s a great movie. The sequel is great, too.”

“I didn’t see it.”

“You should. Maybe it’s unrealistic to think about that once in a lifetime love, but don’t you think we should try to find that? No matter how irrational it seems?”

“You do realize you’re on a date right now, and you’re talking about love and romance like it’s this lofty, unattainable concept.”

“I see your point.”

The waiter comes by with the check and Leon thanks him, and thanks God silently, too. 

“I don’t think you’re ever going to find it if you can’t even pay attention to a woman. I like you, Leon, and I’d ask you to come home with me, but-”

Leon knew he shouldn’t see you again, but when he got his credit card out of his wallet to pay for dinner, he saw your picture. He’d always kept it there. He’d change the photo about once a year and keep the others in his bedside drawer. It’s a picture of you in your cap and gown. He was so proud of you; he is so proud of you. He loved you then; he loves you now. The problem is that he’s falling in love with you now. It’s not just familial; it’s not lust, either.

He thought about When Harry Met Sally, which is your third favorite movie after Jerry Maguire and Before Sunrise. The woman asked him if he wanted to take this back to her place, and he was barely paying attention when he said ‘no.’ He gave her a half-assed excuse and dumped tic-tacs in his mouth so he didn’t have wine on his breath because he knew you hate the taste of red wine. He wasn’t drunk, though. If he were, he wouldn’t drive. Leon’s an idiot, Leon’s a fuck-up, but Leon knows he’s a shitty driver. He won’t risk his life on his way to you. This isn’t a tragedy, he hoped.

He forgot your dad was probably home, but fuck it. If he’s really in love, he’ll confess it in public.

“I’m in love with you,” he said when you opened the door. It wasn’t ‘Hello’. You couldn’t say, ‘You had me at hello’ because he began with, ‘I’m in love with you.’

You stared at him long enough that he started fumbling through apologies and excuses. You didn’t say anything. You pulled him into a kiss, which was to say what he should’ve known all along.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

[micahulrichdraws]

i was saving up for a tattoo but ur answer to that ask where u mention the stuff that goes into ink made me go down a rabbit hole and now i think i wont be getting a tattoo until ink is regulated... aside from the ink being full of stuff i know im allergic to my family is very cancer prone and im reading that tattoo ink may have a correlation with increased skin cancer risk. i feel like this should be talked about more. feeling sad about it but im glad u mentioned something about it otherwise i wouldnt have known

Yeah, as someone who's allergic to everything, has eczema, and a family history of cancer, I feel that. If you have a good artist whom is open to using inks that are either carcinogen-free or at least better tolerated it's not the end of the world, and I never want to discourage someone from doing something they want to do, especially art-related! That being said, I had some similar asks so I'm gonna use yours as a quick info-dump, so I apologize in advance!

I do want to be VERY clear: this is NOT a 'tattoos bad' wall of text, it's a 'art good but hold businesses and individuals accountable because right now everything is a trust system' wall of text. Everyone I know and love has tattoos, I just happen to be an artist who was pulled into the industry fairly out-of-the-blue 8 years ago, and have gotten to learn the intimate ins-and-outs of it because of that. This isn't ragebait, and it is strictly my reasons as to why I feel that the industry could benefit from some regulation and standardized education now that it is a very, very mainstream industry that the majority of individuals in my age range engage with but aren't privy to the details on. If you love tattoos, great! If you don't love tattoos, great! If you're an experienced professional in the industry, this is all stuff you've probably bounced off of once or twice, and can understand why it's frustrating.

The tattoo industry sorta has had one foot in the super lax, counterculture boat while also having the other one solidly in the corporate, capitalist yacht. While the studies that come out of the industry relating cancer risk to the ink content always stick strictly to skin cancer risk being 'negligible', it's important to note that the ink isn't going into your skin - it's going into the fatty tissue below the skin. The ink breaks down in that tissue over time, and gets filtered out by your body - the contents of the ink aren't on the top of the skin, they're being filtered through your other organs or pushed up to your skin. (I know this is an ultra-super-simplified version of what happens, but I don't want to give everyone a migraine with details.) I work with a ton of inks, paints, and pigments, and the pigments that are used in some inks aren't stuff I'd willingly handle with my bare hands, but I'm paranoid about that stuff. However,I absolutely wouldn't eat any of the pigments that are used in the creation of the ink used for tattoos, and none of it is stuff that I'd want in my liver or kidneys. I have a parent who's had cancer for 10+ years, so it's a pet topic of mine that I've had the opportunity to discuss with professionals whom work in the industry. The few times I've gotten to chat about inks used in tattoos, the response is the same as the public PR team's response. The standard on-record response is to cite skin cancer risks, and when asked about other types of cancer, specifically liver/kidney/reproductive, often it is deflected to some version of 'our customers are risk takers who live life on the edge, and don't conform to societal norms, and that demographic always has a higher rate of cancer.' The reality is that they intentionally don't test for that, because best case is the optics that they were selling something that they weren't that confident in, and the worst case response is a wall of lawsuits. Obviously, all that sounds ominous and shit, and while I doubt there's anything massive hidden there, my problem is that the corporate side regulates itself, which in the history of everything has never ended in ethical decisions and only ones that increase profit margins. When pressured, however, companies will lean into the 'it's tattoos man, don't be a downer' - but these are large, industrial corporations, not the dude down the street making art out of their garage. They have the money to test their own products and choose not to.

The other half of the problem is that foot in the pseudo-counterculture, lax, independent artist culture. There's no barriers to entry, minimal qualifications required, and so you can have people who have no business putting permanent ink on folks doing just that, en masse. Tattoos became a major fashion thing in the last 10 years, so we saw an explosion of tattoo studios with literally no experience in the industry kicking out tattoos. These same folks don't have experience in the arts (in a lot of cases) so they'll lift someone else's work as theirs to get a sale, which leads to someone having a design that may be associated with a group they do not wish to be associated with (IE: ultra-nationalist found out that his reaper design was from some ACAB shit I made, and he was not thrilled, even though I thought it was hilarious.) Additionally, a lot of the more questionable studios engage in super controversial sales tactics pressuring clients to move forward on projects when they aren't 100% comfortable (ie: you don't get to see the tattoo until you're in the chair, strictly to save time as to maximize profit on a permanent work of art, and to avoid your client changing their mind.) Back when I was starting out, a lot of the freelance work I received was coming up with designs to help fix those botched jobs, while sending folks to a credible artist, so I had the unfortunate experience of hearing every nightmare story ever. However, like any market that was opening up to big mainstream cashflow, the market ended up flooded so the skill of the average tattoo artist fell like a brick. Only in the last 6 months has the bubble popped with a ton of studios have had trouble staying afloat because the industry reached critical mass. I literally have more options in tattoo studio within a 10 block radius than grocery stores. Mind you, I'm talking about the large group of studios that engage with these practices, and that does in no way mean that I am specifically talking about your studio or your artist. If you work in the industry, you know the folks I'm talking about, and I'm so sorry they make your job so much harder.

This all comes together into a major shitstorm: under-qualified individuals offering a subpar product driving down prices, shoving out the actual qualified professionals, while operating in a legal gray area. Combined with the industrial ink companies that aren't keen on giving straight answers about the contents of their product leaves the entire industry in an absolutely dogwater spot, getting the worst of both worlds. This is not touching on the disgusting potential abuse of power that some individuals choose to take advantage of within these situations. With literally any small amount of regulation, the entire art form would be infinitely easier to get for individuals without having to do a background check on the entire operation. I hope that answers some questions, and I apologize for any typos in my incomprehensible wall of text!

[brightgoat]

Hey hi! I’ve been an avid follower of yours for awhile for your Pucci art but, this green child au has me hooked more and more lately! Your art is stunning by the way, thank you for posting!! The final metamorphosis panel has me excited for the next installment you share ngl.

Anyways, I was wondering if I could ask a few things about it? Specifically, what has happened after O-moon came into the picture, and the buildup to part 13 and 14? Of course if you wish to keep things vague or don’t know, there’s no need to answer! I’m just curious.

When did Jotaro get alerted to the incident and decided to finally come around? Did he encounter Pucci first or Jolyne? After the revelations that O-moon revealed to Jolyne, how did her perceptions of her father and Pucci shift? Did Jolyne ever figure out what Pucci was most likely about to do to FF while they were cornered by him? Have you thought about how Weather Report factors into this AU at all (since he’s probably in prison at this point)?

Sorry for the bombardment, and again no pressure to answer these if you don’t wish to!

- Kimera

Greetings! Thank you very much for the compliment, hope the payoff to that comic was satisfying haha

So, I wanna keep things vague with this AU, telling the main story beats through images and short comics- not only cuz I like it that way but also cuz... I haven't decided a lot of the details hahaha-

Answering this via lore dump, hope you like reading, this can be just one of many ways it could've happened:

I imagined that while Pucci and Jolyne were out getting souls, Jotaro was studying whatever is left of Dio's followers, and eventually tracks down Pucci, and travels to the US. Perhaps he finds out Pucci has been tutoring Jolyne from Jolyne's mum (who knows maybe they reconnected).

Oh and yes, Jolyne's mum knows abt Pucci, but of course not who he really is.

During this, Jolyne has awakened the Green Baby and fused with it. Jotaro may even sense that something is wrong through their family psychic bond thing.

Jotaro, realizing Pucci is a step ahead of him by already taking in his own daughter, tracks Pucci down to the church and confronts him there, sparing no time and going straight to beating answers out of him, where's Jolyne, what happened to her, what's your plan etc.

I had this thought, that once Jolyne fuses with the green baby, she inherits a bit of Dio's knowledge, and it helps her realise she's been getting used by Pucci all along. Not only that, she inherits the will to go to Heaven, and it drives her to complete the plan, she's strung along by fate now.

Now obviously she feels betrayed by Pucci, but still sympathetic to him, and rescues him from Jotaro. She's conflicted, she's angry, the only reason both Pucci and Jotaro reached out was because of some bigger-than-her plot, and not because of herself. She doesn't know how much of what Pucci gave her was genuine or because of her use to him.

(had this idea for a scene that right after Jolyne rescues Pucci, all three of them are still in church and Pucci realises she's transformed, he yells for her to stay still so he can get Whitesnake to take whatever's inside her out, but as soon as Whitesnake reaches out, a hand bursts out, he thinks it's Stone Free and suddenly JUMPSCARE O-Moon jumps out at him and the reversed-gravity throws everyone away from her-)

The only friend she has left is FF, and yes she finds out what Pucci did to them, furthering her anger. So she drags FF along with her, they are eachothers' only allies here, and although FF doesn't fully understand what's happening to Jolyne, they'll stay by her side (cue the uhhhh 'oh jolyne gave me so many memories and memories make up my intellect so i owe her yadda yadda-')

Aaaaand as for Weather, yeah mf's still in prison lmao I haven't thought too much about him. I wanted this to focus on Jolyne and Pucci, though if I did turn this AU into an entire actual story, Weather would probably come up at some point. God knows how though lmao-

[demphix]

Fuck it we ball: Charif Master Post

So a little while ago I made a Deltarune secret boss based on this dialogue from Rudy in Chapter 1

So I took this design I originally posted on December 24th, 2023 that I wasn't using at all and reworked her to fit the new idea

And here's the first sketch dump I did of her to get my ideas a little more ordered (originally posted June 6th, 2024)

Most of what I could say is already just kinda said in the sketch dump (though I'll admit it is kinda badly organized), but I should say the two defeat quotes near the bottom right aren't too in line with what I wanna do with her now so uhhh Ignore Them. And ignore the original music titles those also got changed

Speaking of the music, after posting that art I started working on her songs and their cover arts for YouTube and Bandlab. (All uploaded on June 11th, 2024)

Edit (August 7th, 2024): THESE ARE BEING REMASTERED. THE NEW VERSIONS WILL BE ADDED BELOW AS THEY ARE FINISHED.

(As stated before these are also on my YouTube channel in a playlist. Here's the link to it: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWcBEk8qiFhUEMeydinegtXnklzvRqYfg&si=ZzYex2g-dzL-qeDv)

And after all that there was one other sketch dump I've done, which was posted on June 14th, 2024.

Once again, most of the stuff I could say is already in the sketch dump (though there's a lot more joke drawings than the first), but if there are any questions feel free to send an ask my way

Edit (July 15, 2024): I ended up changing Charif's boss arena to something in line with the carnival theming of Spamton and Jevil and designing a main boss for the chapter, so I felt I should add that here.

Another Charif Sketch Dump with a whole Two important things. This was originally posted on July 7th.

Edit (July 29th, 2024): I made an additional theme for Vesper. Felt it should be here too since she's so tied to Charif.

Here have this too since I haven't drawn her much

Edit (August 7th, 2024): I made a plot guide for her! I could've conveyed some things better, but I hope it works for what it is.

Edit (August 17th, 2024): plot guide part 3.

Edit (August 28th, 2024): plot guide part 4: the one where I'm worried I was too mean to her

Edit (September 2nd, 2024): I remastered her themes! All tracks but "PRAYERS & PLEAS" (V2) were posted on September 2nd, with "PRAYERS & PLEAS" (V2) originally being posted August 7th.

You can find a post with all of them here, because I can't fit them all in one post. I may just make a new master post when the cover art is done tbh.

And here's the cover art for PRAYERS & PLEAS V2! I'll add the rest as they're made.

[sseatherny]

I THINK HE KNOWS

📷 05 — I'll be in your care

You find yourself waking up earlier than usual. Your mind is immediately consumed by thoughts of everything that may unfold later in the day. You couldn't help but feel excited. After almost 3 years of pining, you're finally given a chance to talk to Sae.

As you rushed to get ready, you noticed that you were putting in extra effort into fixing yourself. For some unexplained reason, you felt the need to look your best. Shaking your head, you looked at your reflection in the mirror and whispered, “I'm only doing this for the project.”

Upon your arrival at school, you spot Bachira and Rin, with Rin seemingly getting annoyed by Bachira's antics. You approach the duo and pat them both on the back, prompting Bachira to tease you, asking you why you aren't wearing a wedding gown. Just as you were planning to respond, your alarm goes off, causing you to feel embarrassed.

Quickly shutting off the alarm, you hear Bachira let out a laugh. “Pfft, dreamy jazz, huh?”

You glared at him, and Rin sighed, watching the both of you. “How mature,” he thought. He checks his watch and says that it's time for class.

“I'll see you later.” He waves goodbye before heading off, leaving you with Bachira, who is still laughing.

[ 📷 ` ]

As the lecture came to a close, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. You had just endured a grueling 4-hour lecture, and you were eager for a break. As you were about to bury your head in your arms, your phone vibrated with a message from Rin.

“Who is it?” Bachira asked out of curiosity, tilting his head.

“It's Rin. He wants to meet us outside,” you replied as you began packing your things.

Bachira didn't ask any more questions and soon followed suit, packing up his things as well.

While the two of you were making your way out of the room, Rin was waiting for you outside. Already looking impatient. He began to walk before you even had the chance to say something.

“Where are we going, Rin?” You asked as you tried to catch up with him.

“I thought you wanted to talk with Sae?” Rin answered, furrowing his brows. Upon hearing his response, you froze in your spot, feeling nervous and excited all at once. Bachira, who noticed your nervousness, made an attempt to lighten the mood.

“You look like you're about to take a dump, lol,” He said, trying to make you laugh.

Of course, it didn't work.

“Shut up, you're not helping,” you glared.

After walking for over 15 minutes, Rin stopped and looked at you.

“Ready?” He asked. You gave him a thumbs up and tried to force a smile. Rin didn't say anything and just walked towards the door of Sae's class, which, luckily, was open.

Shidou, who was zoning out, saw the younger Itoshi outside, causing him to tap the older Itoshi's shoulder, getting his attention.

“What?” Sae replied, looking irritated.

“Your brother is outside,” Shidou answered, pointing at Rin. Upon seeing Rin, Sae stood up nearly immediately and walked towards him.

“Someone wants to talk to you,” Rin said to his brother.

“It's not a fan that's going to confess their love to you. Don't worry,” Rin added before turning to you, nodding his head, and signaling you to start talking to Sae.

“Hi! My name is Yn, and I'm a student in Ms. Rosedale's art class. We've been tasked with finding a model for our final project, and Ms. Rosedale suggested that you would be perfect for the job. So I was wondering if you'd be interested in being my model for the project. No pressure, of course! Feel free to decline if you're not interested. I completely understand.” You speak politely, forcing yourself to not smile like an idiot while speaking to Sae.

“Is it right now?” He asks as you finish speaking.

“Oh, no, no. It doesn't have to be right now,” you replied, shaking your head.

The student model asked several more questions about the project before finally nodding.

“Alright then. I'll be in your care. I look forward to working with you, Yn.”

SUMMARY. After being assigned the task of finding a model for a project, you, a student photographer, have to face the challenging task of approaching and persuading Itoshi Sae, whom you have a crush on, to be your model. Working with Sae is a huge opportunity to add a renowned name to your portfolio. The pressure and responsibility are real, but so is the chance to achieve something great.

MASTERLIST :: PREV :: NEXT

🏷️ TAGLIST. @hioriyosgf @melon-garden @asmosdearest @kaitfae @kiopanxp @marvelisttea @nhularin @91ed0 @kascar-chronicle @celestair @saesofficialwife @hellothere9597 @nymphsdomain @saeskiss @karmatiz @msameikanevaeh @pinksodacan @fabitheraven @scaraslover @yyoichisgirl @tamimemo @chaosinanutshell @lilactaro @kaiserkisser @arxliana @neiiuna @wheresmysoulidk @dcvilxswish @seikaitoshi @kalopsiaame

NOTE If your @ is in italics, it means that I can't tag you. :⁠-⁠(

[soapyghostie]

Hii! If it's okay, may I request some fluff with the Huntress? Maybe her comforting the reader during a thunderstorm or the two of them baking together, I don't mind the specifics. Just some Huntress fluff to take me out of the dumps.

If not that's totally okay! Hope you have a wonderful day/night!

Another Anna request! Also, this was the last request that’s been sitting in my inbox for such a long time! 🥳 Now I can get started on all the recent requests! Whenever that will be… 👀

The Huntress/Anna

One stormy night in the Entity’s realm, Anna finds you huddled in a corner, visibly shaken by the thunder. Without a word, she wraps you in the warmth of one of her homemade fleece blankets. The blanket becomes a shield against the storm, both literally and figuratively. The soft fur lining and the scent of pine offer a sense of security as Anna holds you close. 

Anna hums a gentle tune, a lullaby from her homeland, as the thunder rumbles outside. The melody, combined with the rhythmic tapping of the rain, lulls you into a peaceful embrace. In the intermittent flashes of lightning, Anna’s usually stern face softens. Her eyes, briefly illuminated, reveal a depth of understanding and care, assuring you that you’re not alone. 

Without uttering a word, Anna whispers comforting assurances in your ear, her deep voice a soothing contrast to the turmoil outside. A reminder, even in the darkest moments, she is there for you. The steady thump of Anna’s heart acts as a grounding force. You find peace in the fact that, amidst the chaos, there is a heartbeat – a connection to something real. 

Once you are calm enough, Anna will bring you into the kitchen and pull out a collection of ingredients from her cabinets. Then Anna dons a makeshift apron from a torn piece of fabric, ready to do some baking. She just hopes that baking will make you happy and occupied as it makes her. She just wants you to get your mind off the storm. 

Anna watches as you fumble with the ingredients, amusement glinting in her eye. You struggle as you mismatched ingredients, trying to make a delicious treat from scratch without any instructions. 

Anna, surprisingly knowledgeable in the culinary arts, whispers secret tips from her homeland as you mix ingredients. Once you are satisfied with your mixture, you pour it in a pan to slide it into Anna’s makeshift oven, fueled by the Entity’s dark energy, that bakes your creation to perfection. The sweet aroma of your treat fills the air, momentarily masking the oppressive scent of the fog. 

As you wait for your dessert to bake, Anna presents a small, chipped teacup from her personal collection of salvaged items. She pours you and her a cup of tea. While sipping tea together, you find comfort in each other's presence and the sound of the oven ticking to almost completion.  

Anna rummages through her collection, finding a tatter quilt she fashioned from collected scraps. As you wrap yourself in its warmth, you notice the remnants of her past – pieces that tell a silent story of battles fought and hardships endured.  

The baking session extends into the night, it only by the flickering of candles around. In the soft glow, Anna shares rare glimpses of her life before the Entity. As the storm subsides, Anna offers a rare smile, a promise that even in the darkest moments, there is a tomorrow. 

[loupy-mongoose]

Well, I've stockpiled quite a few fun things drawn, so might as well dump it! :3

I was reminded that I 'd wanted to draw Randy with the babies--including babby Lav--in his turtleneck collar. So I did!

Rosie doesn't get to now, but she may not ever outgrow it. XD

I also did the nana peel one. XD

She'll eat the peel, but they still smell pretty sweet. XD

I got the idea to try designing a Mew based on my favorite Zelda enemy, the majestic Helmaroc King!

I ended up feeling mixed on the first and so far only attempt at it. I changed some things because I'm a huge stickler for keeping Mews in certain palette ranges. X3

For the fluff study I did a little bit ago, I once decided to turn on all the line arts while they were in the same spot on the canvas. The result is glorious~

A little Momo that I sketched for the size thing. :3

Something I drew for @phlurrii, because we don't yet know yet how Meau will react to Deca's appearance.

And finally, some Akoyas!

Since I started drawing her this way, it's been tickling a memory of what I think is a character from my childhood, but I can't quite place what she's reminding me of. I want to say it's likely an animated character, probably 2D. Mrs. Brisby comes to mind, bit it's not quite right.

Nice to do a dump not caused by art block for once. :3

[soulcatdoodles]

Just wanted to say that I stumbled across your art today and I LOVE IFOR AND I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM PLEASE

( your art is absolutely amazing )

THANK YOUUUU I’m so happy that you’re interested in ifor 😭💖 Allow me to dump their lore here:

Once upon a time an ancient, nameless skykid made friends with a moth. That moth asked them, “what’s your name?” They pondered a moment, then replied, “I forgot”. The moth, somewhat dense, inquired in a confused voice: “Iforgot? What an odd name. I’ll just call you Ifor”.

Seasons passed. Long after said moth had grown up, sacrificed countless lifetimes, and eventually faded into nothingness, another moth lit that weary skykid’s candle and asked, “what’s your name?” That skykid answered after a brief moment: “You can call me Ifor.”

Ifor is a gratitude kid, and has been around for countless seasons. While most skykids of their age have long since faded into nothingness, they somehow never managed to. And so, they pass their time by seeking thrill wherever they can - anything to impede the boredom, be it dodging krills, purposefully getting krilled, exploring out of bounds, worshipping AURORA, or half-heartedly following along the seasons.

They own a vast collection of cosmetics, and often are seen passing their time by switching up their look. Most often though, they wear their signature tattered dark robe with black boots (halloween pants), and sometimes season of duet’s sleeveless grey pants. Their cape is that of a manta they hunted themselves, and it serves to attract krill’s attention. The krill horn they carry on their back is also used to summon krills. Quite often though, they carry a musical instrument (such as the e-guitar, violin, or piano) in its stead. They’ve had ample time to practice various instruments to perfection.

Due to the constant negative energy surrounding them, and the countless amount of times they’ve lost their light, darkness has started growing on their body. It recedes and progresses like the tide, but most often it can be found on their head and face. Everytime they get reborn, their darkness is cleansed, but their darkness can also wither and die when they experience positive emotions. Positive emotions always come from forming bonds with moths, but it’s only a matter of time before the moth fades and their darkness grows back stronger.

Morally they are ambivalent, their mood changing unpredictably. They will often help redirect krills from other skykids by taking it head on, but sometimes will also lead a krill over to target another skykid just for the sake of it.

Currently, ifor is quite happy as they’ve made some new friends. Only time will tell if these will stay, but ifor has a feeling that at least one of them might. Said skykid is my irl partner’s character, and I very much enjoy drawing ifor with some of the ice melting from their demeanor (soft blushing ifor is my new obsession)

I hope this satisfies your curiosity! Ifor is probably the oc with the most lore I’ve made so far, besides my last skykid oc from like 2020, but i feel much more personally connected to Ifor because I based them off of my own playstyle of the game.

I’ve been playing sky since its release in July 2019, and I’ve had phases where I’ve gotten so tired of it, but just couldn’t quit for real cause of all the time and money I’d spent on it and all the fond memories I’d made (plus the game is just so pretty). I wanted to imagine how those feelings would translate to the character I’m playing as - I imagine they’d be amplified by a lot, so me wanting to quit the game became my skykid wanting to quit life, essentially. Fun stuff, fun stuff. And I do love to be the krill bait when doing wasteland quests with other ppl, so that part is pretty accurate too. And I’m also absolutely in love with the aurora concert and her music in general.

The only inaccurate part may be the “practicing to perfection” - I definitely know my way around the in game instrument mechanics but I’m no where near as good as some of those sky musicians out there hahaha, I do enjoy playing it though.

If anyone read this far then wow, amazing, I love you, hand in marriage please?? Hope you enjoyed my ramblings, @ the like 2 ppl who got this far

First image by me

Second by mfxdraws https://www.instagram.com/mfxdraws/

Third by kxrmaou https://www.instagram.com/kxrmaou/

Fourth directly from sky

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hi! May I request a scenario with reader, who's really sweet and nice, but also knows martial arts and can protect themselves/somebody pretty well with sir Pentious?

Sir Pentious x kind!reader who knows martial arts

my body hurts so bad hisshiss im still recovering from my first proper workout from the other day, at the time of writing this, its been like.. 3 days since hisshiss notes: reader can be seen as a sinner or hellborn, reader is GN, admin doesnt know much about martial arts admittedly CWs: canon typical violence

fell in love with your personality and fell even deeper with your strength

hes well aware that you can protect both him and yourself but thats not going to stop him from trying to return the same energy- even if hes not always successful

generally though he lets you do your thing if you tell him to hang back while you fight off anyone with ill intent

hes cheering you on from the sidelines, as well as giving you quick warnings when someone is approaching you behind

it.. sometimes draws attention to him thus putting him in danger once more

patches you up on the event you get hurt during these fights, so so caring and doting on you the entire time, bleeding into your recover as well

you make him feel... nice... youre kind, and understanding, and you can tell hes more open to talking about his interests and thoughts than when hes surrounded by other company

talks a lot, you dont have to pry it out of him, hes more than happy to info dump on you without shame

listens to you, though! he loves everything about you so hes going to be sure you have a chance to talk to

watches you with this lovestruck look in his eyes whenever youre doing yuore own thing separate from him

[steamberrystudio]

19/11/2023

Hey everyone! Time for the bi-weekly tumblr update for Steamberry stuffs!

Summary

Finished writing all routes up through the end of chapter 9

Started working on editing for now

Added in-game achievements

Received some new BG art

Ramble

Okay, so writing-wise, I wrote Yren's content up through the end of chapter 9. Also revamped my end-route summaries for Yren and Raif.

The current word count is 426,000 words.

But I decided to hold off on finishing the endings for the four remaining routes. The main reason for this is that I have planned a lot of early-story changes that are going to shift the trajectory of the route endings. And I was really struggling with how to construct the route endings with those planned changes in a more nebulous state.

I usually try to avoid working out of order because I find it is not conducive to forward progress. But there are some points when you have to break the rules and go back to make important edits because you need them there in order to be able to move forward.

I'm kind of at that point.

So I decided I would fully edit Asher's route, which will allow me to inject all those planned changes into the story which will make it much easier to construct endings that call back to that earlier foreshadowing.

So writing-wise, that's what I've been doing this week. I am currently up to Chapter 6 in the edit (which means I'm a little less than half through the route).

Other Stuff:

I have received new BGs of course. Those are coming in at a fairly steady rate of 1.5 - 2 weeks each.

I also have decided to add in-game achievements to WSC. I've been thinking about it for a while but putting it off since I know that one more screen (like an achievements gallery) means more tweaks to the UI. But I finally sucked it up and did it anyway.

I've also been playing with a colour slider for Wil's sprite. I'm not going to go into detail about it here because I've talked about it more in depth on Patreon and will continue to post most of the details there.

But the idea is that instead of choosing from 3 skin tones and 2 hair colours, there would be colour sliders allowing for a much greater range of selection. One of the big concerns with colour sliders is whether or not the recolours can be made to look as good as recolouring manually - which has always been why I've stayed away from them. 

The more complex shading styles have always struggled with colour sliders. But a developer friend - Feniks - has made a really cool and dynamic shader that actually can recreate even painterly or non-outlined art styles with incredible accuracy.

Using a slider is really useful because it increases the variations the player gets while *reducing* my work load. Instead of having to recolour manually, I would actually only need to colour everything once in grey scale.

Of course, it's not as easy as just dumping in the code and art. It requires some experimentation and learning but right now it is looking like I will be able to make it work. So I may be able to show off some examples in the future.

Screenshots:

None this time...

Upcoming Weeks:

I am currently editing Chapter 6 of asher/common routes and there are some pretty substantial edits I have to make.

It's always tricky to estimate what I will get done editing wise because editing does not flow at a more or less even pace like writing. Chapter 5, 6, and 7 had (and will have) major updates and changes so it may take a while to get through them. Though I'm already through with Ch 5. So...that's one of three.

Anyway.

And I'm also working on the GS lore book, still (LoL. 🙃). Someone today reminded me that I still need to go through all the deleted content to see if anything is salvageable for the lore book too.

😭

Thank you so much to that person (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. And you need to answer for your crimes, my friend.) 👀

[leonenjoyer69]

Not sure if you have much left in you But- *Ramble Card* You will be bombarded at least one more time, By me. Today. Right now.

AFTER WEEKS THE RAMBLE GODS HAVE ALLOWED ME TO ANSWER THIS, SO I PRESENT A LORE DROP FOR WHOLE JEKYLL, MY LITTLE GUY HARRY, BC I'VE BEEN NEGLECTING HIM 💔💔 SO!!! LONG RAMBLE/INFO DUMP UNDER THE CUT >:3

OKAY SO, WHOLE JEKYLL, RIGHT? HARRY? MY LITTLE GUY? Basically a combined/whole (wow how well I named him) Jekyll (technincally he IS the original Jekyll, but yeah) with more steps and extra trauma 🥰 originally he was just gonna stay trapped in the mind and such, but hey, with everything going on in the comic rn I think he can totally break out, and the wonderful @lesbianturrets (ILY CHARLIE) keeps inadvertently giving me such great ideas! (Also I may have made art of Harry gaining control on a whim, ill share that once it's done >:3)

Yeah, he eventually gains control (sometime during chapter 15, probably after Jekyll recouncils with Frankenstein, bc that kinda breaks the mind Frankenstein-- just like what happened to Mind Lanyon-- and then a transformation happens where Harry, Among the Mindscape that's been collapsing for days, is finally able to get control.) Said transformation happens and from the mirror Jekyll tells Hyde to "give it a rest already because there's nothing that he can do" and then Hyde pops up in the mirror beside him and is basically like "mf that ain't me!!" (Man I really wanna draw this) Cue confusion and more chaos because then who is in control right now? Meanwhile, a body that looks MOSTLY like Jekyll is freaking tf out, mumbling in Scots and trying to get his bearings bc holy shit he's real again. Jekyll and Hyde both try to talk to this guy but he's completely ignoring them, and after a bit of trying to regain control, Jekyll and Hyde eventually dip into the Mindscape to discuss things and figure out who tf that is.

Meanwhile, now that Harry is in control, he's gotta deal with everything going on. Lanyon shows up and begins trying to get in, to which Harry pleads (with his scots accent, further concerning Lanyon) for him not to come in, and that everything's alright. Once Lanyon does get in, Harry has to use the excuse of a potion falling on him to explain his hair and eyes. Harry's forced to go out and deescalate and fix everything, jumpy and paranoid af. (Bonus points, after fixing everything and finally being able to "settle down" for the day he apologizes profusely to Lanyon about leaving him and shit.) Harry's main goal now is to keep control (he avoids sleeping as much as he can, though Lanyon certainly has something to say and do about that) and find a way to reverse the formula, which he'll probably try to get help with from Frankenstein.

Also!! While Harry's real and in control, he can still vaguely see the strings, but no one else can. They're basically an illusion, like the nightmare creatures (which he still has to deal with, though he's somewhat more used to them) and he can still feel them tug and such, but can resist the pulling. When Jekyll and/or Hyde fight really hard for control, Harry's heart also goes crazy, like Jekylls did during the exhibition. ADDITIONALLY, Harry is also VERY sensitive to physical sensations, since he's been trapped in the mind so long with most all feeling numbed, he's practically hypersensitive now. (Bonus points, he seeks out physical contact a lot from Lanyon, since it brings him an all-encompasing warmth and somewhat calms him, LET THEM BE HAPPY AND GAY!!)

In the Mindscape, Jekyll and Hyde probably find Harry's journal(s) and figure out that they're BOTH incomplete pieces, and that this "Harry" is their whole version. Like, you know how you can delete a path on a computer and it won't know how to get to that file any more, despite it still being there? And you have to physically tell it again where it is? Yeah, Well the path to Jekylls whole, completed state has been reestablished.

Anyways, they'll probably fight or talk for a while, wander around the Mindscape looking for ways to get out/gain control again (bonus points if they let the nightmares out again) (more bonus points if Jekyll finds his silly whiteboard again and starts doing his little thing, while Hyde groans and complains the whole time).

Eventually they do get back to the consciousness and are able to hang out in mirrors and such again. Harry actually talks to them this time bc he's alone, about what, you may ask? Idk lmao. Harry's already mostly fixed things for the day and is pouring over research books again, pages of messy writing already covering the table. Probably tells them that he intends on reversing the potion because he can't keep living trapped, split into two halves that won't stop fighting.

Anyways!!!! Thank you for the ramble card teehee, just took me literal weeks to think of something to ramble about 💀💀 BUT!! IF ANYONE WANTS TO ASK ANYTHING SPECIFIC ABOUT HARRY (OR ELIAS) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T HESITATE, I LOVE MY BABIES AND I NEED TO STOP NEGLECTING THEM <333

[a-la-sante-du-progres]

A list of Les Mis headcanons I have because of fanon characterizations. I tried to keep out things that are suggested in canon or in adaptations. So:

-Les Amis are anticapitalist and they believe there is a class war. In the novel they look like radical republican -EDIT: I mean pro Republic and obviously NOT the American Republican- and socialdemocratic more than real socialists (except for Bahorel probably) but the fandom made them totally red and I embrace this headcanon.

-Jean Valjean will be saved and will never be estranged from his daughter. His last plot doesn't exist in none of my headcanons and I'm glad the fandom ignored it as well. They have a strong and healthy relationship. Marius will respect that or he will fuck off.

-Javert can and will be saved

-Reincarnation for every character.

-R is an artist. In the brick he dumped Art but I share the fanon vision of Grantaire being very fond of every art in canon era and also doing graphic design in modern era. He can be bitter about it tho.

-R is actually helpful once in a while.

-R IS NOT a misogynist in modern AUs and is also friend with several women. Musichetta is a good match, because if his closeness with JB, but also Irma and Floreal, subverting the canon dynamics. Eponine too. He's smart and he thinks a lot about systemic oppression so I agree he would be sympathetic to women in 2023. BUT I don't overlook R's misogyny in canon era.

-Grantaire and Eponine would get along very well, especially if the age gap was eliminated in AUs.

-Jehan has a gender non conforming style. Long hair for sure but also traditionally feminine clothing in his wardrobe, like skirts.

-Enjolras cares about Grantaire. This one may seem born in adaptations but imho fanworks got to it before musical productions.

-Courferre

-Eponine, Cosette, Musichetta are relevant in modern AU ABC plots.

-I love bi Cosette! Zero hints in the novel but it would be neat.

-If the scenario hasn't to be strictly canon compliant, Les Amis survive, take a while to heal and then they reprise the struggle.

[nerdythebard]

#60: Susano'o-no-Mikoto, God of the Summer Storms

Welcome back, Gods and Goddesses!

This anonymous request brings us face to face with the mighty Susano'o, Japanese God of Storms and Sea. Susano'o, wild and impetuous, became a wandering hero after his banishment from the divine realms and created several kinds of plants and crops (and many, many descendants) while on his travels across Japan. Let's see what this short-tempered troublemaker can bring to your game.

Next Time: Reluctantly, I have to accept this one... Because I am Nerdy the Bard of the D&D Library... and I am burdened with Glorious Purpose.

Now then, let's see what do we need to focus on:

A MIGHTY STORM: Heh heh... old SMITE jokes are great. Anyway, yes, we need to have some connection to the raging storms, hurricanes, and the seas. Their destructive power shall serve us.

An even mightier Sword: While we embody the raging power of a storm, we are also a skilled and peerless warrior god. We are, in fact, the bone of our sword (love you, Grailfinders!) and it is the extension of ourselves.

Gotta Go Fast: Mobility will be important for us, as the God of Storms and a wandering warrior. We need to be able to position ourselves to face any danger.

---

Normally, I'd use my usual trick and make a god we're building an Aasimar (as I did with his sister, Amaterasu -> see HERE). This time, however, I want to play around a little, so let's make Susano'o an Air Genasi. Going by the guidelines from Mordenkeinen's Monsters of the Multiverse, we get a +2 and a +1 to two abilities of our choice (Dexterity and Strength respectively), our movement speed is just slightly better at 35 feet per round, we get 60 feet of Darkvision, we are able to hold our breath indefinitely if not incapacitated (effectively gaining resistance to gaseous attacks and ability to remain underwater forever) and are resistant to lightning damage. Thanks to the Mingle with the Wind feature, we also gain the Shocking Grasp cantrip and some other spells in the future.

What better for a banished god than a redemption as a Folk Hero. We gain proficiency in Animal Handling (poor horses) and Survival, as well as one type of artisan's tools and land vehicles. We also gain the Rustic Hospitality feature; the pathetic mortals kind common folk may offer us their kindness on occasion and provide with shelter, food, or perhaps the latest gossip. They may also shield us from danger, although it's unlikely they'd risk their lives for a stranger right away. Although...

ABILITY SCORES

We will start with Dexterity on this one. We strike fast, we strike often. As a being of heavens, we also boast a divine Constitution. Finally, we need to strike with the power of the storm, so we're also investing in Strength.

Charisma will be next, we have enough to intimidate the weak and trick a giant demon snake. Intelligence will be on the lower end, and we're dumping Wisdom - we are definitely not thinking about the consequences of our actions.

CLASS

This one had a few options, but I decided that the best balance between Susano'o's divine abilities and his swordsmanship would be to make him a Fighter start-to-finish. Fighters get a d10 as their Hit Dice, [10 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points, proficiencies with light armour, medium armour, heavy armour, shields, simple weapons, and martial weapons. We can see Susano'o wear some armguards in the art, but since we cannot get just those in the game, we're going to start him without any armour. And we will give him a longsword that you can reflavour visually as a katana. Our saving throws are Strength and Constitution, and we get to choose two class skills from the list (Athletics and Intimidation).

Level 1: We begin by choosing our Fighting Style. For this, we shall take the Dueling style, which lets us add a +2 to our damage roll when we wield a weapon in one hand and nothing in the others. We also get Second Wind, which we can use as a bonus action once per short or long rest in order to heal [1d10 + our Fighter level] Hit Points.

Level 2: Thanks to Action Surge, we can now take one additional Action during our turn in combat. We can do so once per short or long rest.

Level 3: We choose our subclass, our Martial Archetype. Susano'o is a warrior first and foremost, but due to his divine heritage he also displays some supernatural abilities; therefore, we shall make him an Eldritch Knight.

From now on, we get access to Spellcasting. Intelligence is our casting ability, and we know cantrips and regular spells. We start with two cantrips (Gust and Sword Burst) and threee 1st-level spells, two of which must be either from the Abjuration or Evocation school of magic; we'll take Mage Armour, Thunderwave, and Disguise Self). From our Air Genasi race, we also get Feather Fall.

We also make our sword truly mighty by developing Weapon Bond. From now on, we cannot be disarmed unless we're incapacitated or allow so. Additionally, as a bonus action, we can summon our sword to our side from whenever it is as long as it is on the same plane of existence as us. We can Bond two weapons at once (giving us now a full set of samurai swords).

Level 4: We get our first Ability Score Improvement where we upgrade our Strength by both points. We also get another spell (Fog Cloud).

Level 5: At this level we get Extra Attack. From now on, during a single Attack action we can strike twice. We also get our final Air Genasi spell: Levitate.

Level 6: Time for another ASI. Let's raise our Strength and Wisdom by one.

Level 7: At this level we get another subclass feature. With War Magic, if we cast a cantrip as our Action, we can make one weapon attack as a Bonus Action. We also unlock 2nd-level spell here; we can grab Magic Weapon to recover some of our lost divinity.

Level 8: Time for another ASI. Let's raise both Strength and Dexterity for that nice 18 on both, and pick up another 2nd-level spell: Warding Wind.

Level 9: We gain the Indomitable feat. We are now able to re-roll one failed saving throw. We must, however, use the new result even if it's worse than the original one.

Level 10: Halfway through the build and we're getting another subclass feature. With Eldritch Strike we can now place a cut on our enemy that makes them vulnerable to magic; when we hit a creature with our melee weapon, it has disadvantage on the saving throw of the next spell we cast before the end of our next turn. With that, we can now pick a new 2nd-level spell: Shatter, which will force a Consitution saving throw.

We also get another cantrip; let's take True Strike that will synthesize nicely with our War Magic subclass feature.

Level 11: Here, we get an upgrade to our Extra Attack. From now on, whenever we Attack we can make a total of three strikes per turn (six if we decide to take Action Surge). We also get another spell, See Invisibiliy, to always find our enemies.

Level 12: Another ASI. This time, we shall cap our Dexterity into 20, which will increase our AC and Initiative bonus to make sure we get the first strike before anyone else.

Level 13: Our Indomitable can now be used twice per long rest. Additionally, we finally unlock 3rd-level spells. Let's grab Call Lightning to become the Thunder Bringer (yes, EPIC the Musical released a new Saga and it is awesome!)

Level 14: Time for another ASI. Let's cap our Strength to 20 for that divine striking power. But what's power without more mobility, so for our next 3rd-level spell, let's grab Thunder Step.

Level 15: For our final subclass feature, we shall get Arcane Charge. After using our Action Surge, we can now teleport to an unoccupied space within 30 feet of us. With that, and our last choice, we can now cover quite a lot of distance whether in combat or outside of it.

Level 16: With the next ASI, we will actually bump up our Constitution and Charisma by one point each. We also get another spell. Here, let's pick Pulse Wave and flavour it as a sheer wind pressure coming from our sword slashes.

Level 17: We get a few upgrades to our fighting mechanics. We can now use Indomitable three times per long rest, and we can use Action Surge twice per short or long rest.

Level 18: For our final subclass feature, we get Improved War Magic; this lets us make a weapon attack as a Bonus Action if we use our Action to cast a spell.

Level 19: For the final ASI of the build, we will round off our Constitution and Charisma to nice even numbers. Here is where we unlock 4th-level spells, however we will keep to the previous level in order to grab Lightning Bolt.

Level 20: As our capstone we are Fighter 20, which gives us improved Extra Attack. During a single Attack, we can now unleash up to four strikes. For our final spell, let's grab Tidal Wave to create the ultimate storm.

---

And that's Susano'o-no-Mikoto, the wild god of storms. Let's see what we came up with:

First and foremost, we're a combat beast. Plenty of attacks, both physical and magical, maximum score for both Strength and Dexterity, solid Speed; we're clearly a frontline fighter. Mobility and Crowd Control is our strongest tactic here.

Our unarmoured AC is 15 (18 with Mage Armour), we have a +5 to our Initiative, and the average of 211 Hit Points.

Unfortunately, though a solid build, we cannot do a lot outside of combat. We don't have a lot of skill proficiency and out mental ability scores are pretty weak; we need to procure some sort of item that will help us not being mind controlled. My personal recommendation: the Mindguard Crown from Phandelver and Below: The Shattered Obelisk.

---

And that's it. As promised, we're back my dears. As penitance, I shall work on the next build right away, so keep watch!

-Nerdy out!

[causenessus]

fic authors self rec! ♡ when you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. let’s spread the self-love ♡

I WAS GONNA SAVE THIS TOMORROW BUT I KEEP SEEING OTHERS AND IT'S REALLY REALLY MOTIVATING ME <33 (although i don't think i have five other moots to send this to bc idk who else has done it or had it sent to them...)

HAVE I EVEN WRITTEN FIVE THINGS?? I DEF DO NOT POST A LOT OF ONESHOTS 😭

love notes | suna rintarou

OBVIOUSLY MY NUMBER ONE!!! the premise of the smau is so so important to me <3 i love art so much and graffiti just feels so in character for suna?? and he's such a loverboy?? and the photography plot has just really opened my eyes to the amount of time and effort that goes into the profession!!! oh my god i always think about all the lyrics i picked out <3 and just suna and yn dancing around their problems but still flirting with each other some of my fav chapters definitely have to be chapter 3 and 9 (i have been this 🤏 close to reblogging chapter 9 and just saying paragraph 8 like a thousand times. i wrote that entire little excerpt on a tramway in nyc on the way to roosevelt island) <3 my life while i was writing love notes was really nice and this smau is just so so important to me and i was so happy that others also enjoyed it omg i need to stop yapping <3

try again | sakusa kiyoomi

one of my favorites bc it's basically a self insert 😭😭 it's honestly helped me realize so much about myself and is such a comfort fic for me!! i've read a few fics that seem to capture this feeling of like looking back on a time long ago, which is sort of like fond nostalgia? sort of like if you were married and think back to how you married your spouse, or sitting on a rooftop with your best friend and thinking about how you guys were in your younger days if that makes sense. i love that feeling of it being like your reading a story that happened some time ago, and isn't happening currently, and that's what try again feels like to me. the therapist-client dynamic and messy characters is so important to me, AND U GUYS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF SELF INDULGENCE TRAUMA DUMP IS COMING SOON <3 (sorry this sounds so aggressive omg)

see you at the altar | suna rintarou

one of my fav fav drabbles!! it was so sweet and once again just suna being a lover boy is so important to me!! it warms my heart just thinking about being his love and aa <3

new grounds | kageyama tobio

literally sparked my love for kageyama!! and this felt like my first actual smau and i'm still very proud of it and in love with it <3 like it was so cozy and all good vibes!! super self indulgent for me writing about a reader in technical theatre and the friend groups and everything we're so special to me <3 i get so many sort of like just big childhood friend groups vibes from this fic lowk i think i may have to look into making moodboards for it...not to mention how much @cr4yolaas' night shift smau is inspiring me... (shameless plug)(ALSO RYE I HAVE TO SEND THIS ASK TO U!! I NEED TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SELF RECCS AND THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR OWN FICS <33 I WILL BE IN YOUR INBOX SOON!!)

cold kisses | kozume kenma

life was also lowk a little enjoyable while writing this smau!! like i remember running around fighting for my life the day of prom because i was trying to get ready AND post a chapter of cold kisses <3 i spent so many nights in a cafe writing this smau, i remember the exact seat of the cafe i was sitting in while outlining the smau, i remember working at my last job on dish, and having to stop and pull out my phone to write down ideas, and my manager passing me by and giving me a weird look <3 sorry i guess i associate times in my life a lot with my works although i think that's kind of cool!! i also loved the entire premise of this smau ofc <3 all sparked by how much figure skating tiktok inspired me <3

[dearcauti0n]

INTRO POST UPDATE :]

OKAY, Heyo, I'm Lu! [ He/They ] 🎉

I'm an artist, and this account is mostly based on animal jam lore + au !! #phantoms&fireflies

This au is helped by @xhajimehaywirex !!! Great artist as well!

For animal jam based things, I love the lore we get once in a while, I love to search up and plan, write, and draw the concepts for each thing I find.

Been an AJ user since 2011-12 which ever year that was

I used to play both AJ Classic and AJPW; but I don't have a laptop for classic anymore so shucks !

I also do other art things such as different fandoms and original stuff, so you may see some of that on here too:] (cookie run, Skyrim, horror games, sometimes creepy pastas)

Other Art Dump Platforms:

Instagram - @dearcauti0n

TikTok - @dearcauti0n

Have an oc of mine - Goobie the fox :]