#I make a time commitment and I forgot to put this in my queue.....

[eventually27]

Kit fanfic where reader takes the blame for him in the asylum and gets punished? Thanks :)

Absolutely! I hope you enjoy it. I didn't have much time but I hope it's OK. Xx

Protection..

*warnings, abuse, pain, punishment, foul language*

You sat playing noughts and crosses. You're pretty sure it was your 100th game of the afternoon, just like it was the 100th time that darn song was played in the common room, over and over and over again, that song haunted your dreams, you heard it even when it wasn't playing.

" Well, it looks like I've won again." Kit laughed. He was the only thing that got you through the day. You thought about seeing his face to get you through each night. Together, you made this place more bareable, if that's what you could call it. Kit lit you a cigarette and passed it to you, "thanks, Kit." You gave him a smile, and he gave you a wink in return, "Any time, darlin, " Oh how you loved hearing him call you that. You had been here for a year, well it felt like 10, Kit had arrived halfway through, he was a mess when he arrived, because he lost his wife, not only that but they say he killed her, he says he didn't and you believe him. He never talks about the ungodly things he saw that night, but his screams from his nightmares are enough for you to understand, he is like you and you aren't like the people in here, you don't belong here, you aren't evil people, you arnt cold hearted killers. You breathed out the smoke from your lungs, and your thoughts were interrupted by the doors smashing open and the music coming to an abrupt stop. You knew this wasn't a good thing, Sister Jude would only stop the music if someone was in trouble and trouble meant punishment.

Sister Jude didn't believe in mental illness. She thought it was a fashionable explanation for sin. She truly believed that the abuse and punishments (the long lists of punishments) were carried out in the name of salvation. Her twisted mind really believed what she was doing was good. You often thought she must enjoy torturing as she did it so much, everyone dreded her presence, because with that, she bought fear.

"Quiet now, line yourselves up, someone here as committed a misdeed," she hissed, the sound of her feet walking up and down the queue of you all echoed through your ears, She stopped in front of Kit and then infront of you, "you two in my office " she screamed, you could see the fear in Kits eyes, it poured out of them, he had suffered to much pain from Sister Jude because of the story he told her about the night his wife was killed, she tried to beat his beleifs out of him. You wondered what it was that had happened. What misdeeds have been committed? And that's when your mind shot back to this morning.

"There is no one I'd rather roll dough with," Kit laughed. You worked together every other morning, making bread rolls. You savoured this time, time away from the music, time away from everybody else. You laughed and joked, for this time working, you forgot, you forgot where you were, you forgot about everything that had happened and things nearly felt normal. "You'd think after all this time you'd be better at it, Kit,' you joked playfully, hitting him and wiping flour on his apron, " Oh darlin my talents are in other places" he winked pulling you up against him and pressing his lips against yours, it felt as if your surroundings disappeared. You pictured yourself kissing him in a house you both just bought, boxes everywhere. The only worries you had were paint colours and carpets. Kit went to lift you up onto the countertop, but your passion was ended by the sound of him knocking off the tray of bread rolls you had just prepared. They were all over the floor and ruined. You both froze. "Oh no, what have I done?" he whispered. It wasn't the bread rolls that brought him so much concern it was the punishment that would follow the discovery. " We are going to have to hide them, put the others in the oven, and get rid of the evidence," you said, before you knew it you were both trying to stuff the rolls into the bin, right at the bottom moving past all the other rubbish, in hopes no one would notice, you both thought it might just work.

But here you were, both being led into the office of the torturer that was Sister Jude. It obviously didn't work. You looked at Kit as you both walked through the office door. He looked towards the cupboard, which held the pain eflicting canes. It was as if just by looking at it all that all the pain had felt in his life came flashing back, he was petrified. "Now you both know why you are here. You were the ones in the kitchen this morning. It seems you can not resist sin, and evil must be met with evil, " she said, with a grin. " So, which one of you was it? Or was it both of you?" She demanded answers. You knew you had to do this, Kit didn't deserve any more pain. You didn't want him to feel any more pain, the look on his face. You knew he would break if he felt the cane against his skin once more. Kit cleared his throat and was about to speak. You knew he would admit what he had done. He wasn't a liar, he always admitted his wrongs, but before he could, you yelled, "It was me sister, I knocked the rolls off, it had nothing to do with Kit, It happened as he was mopping the floors, he wasn't even close to them, I decided to hide them and lie to you", you tried not to look at Kits face but only Sister Judes, you wanted her to beleive you more than anything. "Hmmm, is this true, Kit? Or is Y/N trying to help you?" She said, standing right in front of his face. He didn't speak. He must have been unsure what to say. "I see, well, for your discretion, I will leave it up to you to pick which cane I will use on your friend," she laughed, unlocking the cupboard to reveal several canes starting from small and ending in extra large. "Sister, don't use any. Use one on me instead, " Kit shouted as he watched Sister Jude run her fingers along the line of canes. " So you not only refuse to answer me, but now you try to tell me how to do my job, hmm? You will sit back and watch me use a cane of my choice on your special friend, " she stopped her finger on the largest cane. You knew she was enjoying this, you looked at Kit and he mouthed the words sorry, you could see tears in his eyes, but you knew it wasnt his fault, and the truth is you would take the wrath of all of those canes if it meant he didn't have to.

"Now, I hope this will teach you a lesson, and you will think back to this before you do such things. Maybe this will teach you not to accept the sins of others, " Sister Jude snapped while pointing the desk. You knew what you had to do. You bent over the desk and lifted up your clothing to expose your back, also exposing the scars from previous torturing, the scars you had hidden from Kit. You couldn't see his face, but you knew he could see them. You braced yourself for what was going to happen, you pressed your lips together as tight as you could, you didn't want to let out a scream, you didn't want Kit to feel anyworse than he did already. You closed your eyes and listened as Sister Judes footsteps got closer to you. You heard the leather slap against her hand, the sound burnt your ears. The suspense made it worse. The wait before you were struck, you try your best to take yourself to a happy place, picturing your earlier images of you and Kit surrounded by moving boxes, It's the only thing that could help distract you.

*smack*

You felt the piping hot burn of the leather spread across your back. It hurt more over your scars. You managed to keep any signs of pain in for kits' sake, Sister Jude must not have liked that because you were sure she tried her best to get you to scream, the next 5 beatings stung more and more, your eyes were filled with tears, you couldnt help but whimper in pain, you felt on fire, your skin felt open and raw, you knew you had one more, then it would be over, you didn't think you could take one more but you had to try.

*smack*

You let out a scream, you tried to fight it but it was impossible, you could hear Kit telling Sister Jude to stop, you could hear the upset in his voice. "That's enough now Y/N, I hope you've learnt your lesson, and that you will not return to sin" she spoke these words with happiness across her face, happiness for the pain she had just caused. You tried to stand, but the pain was unbearable as your spine tried to bend straight. You felt the hands of Kit pull your clothing down to cover you up. He placed his arms around you to walk you out of the room. You looked up at him and could see his eyes were filled with tears, " Let's go, darlin," he whispered. You could feel the pain in his voice. It stung just as much as the leather.

Kit called out for Lana to get some water and something to wipe you with, "Let me clean you up, let me have a look at you" he whispered still unable to get his words out properly, he sat you down on the chair and took you in his arms, he kissed you on the forhead and asked "why did you do that? You didn't deserve that. You did nothing wrong, " you replied."No, you didn't deserve that, Kit. You've been through enough. I couldn't bare to see you in any more pain. Seeing you in pain would have been much worse than what I have just endured. " You took your hand and placed it on Kits face and said,"I'd do it a million times over to save you. "

[drdtfuitgumies]

season 1 summary: may 2024

i've hit 30 situations! this summary is mainly for my personal documentation (i like documenting stuff), but i thought i'd post this in the blog too just in case anyone else was interested!

STATISTICS

to the surprise of absolutely no one, whit got first place, appearing eight times throughout may 2024! however, his first place is because of a technicality, since i counted the pinned post for this season. otherwise he'd tie with second place and our recently crowned "invasive species", arei, who appeared seven times. i know i encouraged you people to let her commit crimes, but it appears i have underestimated the fandom because there's STILL people telling her to steal even MORE stuff in the inbox. third place is charles, appearing five times, three of which happened in the span of five days. bullying him (and making arei and whit bully him) is really fun though!

also, i think now is a good time to talk about how i "plan" out the situations. i try to draw at least one situation a day as a "warmup" before i draw... Other Stuff, and i try to stock up at least a week's worth of doodles, just in case i become unavailable for whatever reason. i also try my Absolute Best to ensure that everyone* appears at least twice a month, whether by picking requests wildly out of order or taking matters to my own hands through the original situations, though a bias for whit really can't be avoided...

*mai and monotv are excluded from this "rule", though i bring out monotv often when i need a casualty. take arei and whit stacking things and arei and j playing mario kart, for example!

PERSONAL FAVORITES (in chronological order)

1) Motivational words from Min

I still consider this one of my greatest creations in my mortal life. maybe i should reblog this on main everytime i procrastinate on something. i'm sure there will be always someone who needs the encouragement

2) Charles holds Eden's yuri manga hostage

this headcanon sucker punched me on what was a normal afternoon, but i'm glad i realized it to this world... even though i barely read new stuff in the first place, let alone yuri. maybe one day i'll find something that caters to my oddly specific tastes, but for now i'll enjoy the yaoi vs yuri memes from afar and let those more qualified than me to verify how true himejoshi eden and himedanshi charles are

3) A regular "PMD Club" meeting

i am an autotroph and need to create one oddly specific self-indulgent situation per month to sustain myself and the joy i have for drawing. i promise this Will happen again. i might even outright sneak in some of my aus, out of context...!

4) Arei steals Charles' goggles

it really says a lot about me as a person that my personal favorites are mostly unserious shitposts, but i've been meaning to draw arei bullying charles with the nerd emoji since... a few months ago, i think? some of the situations are prompts i've always wanted to draw, but am too lazy to do in my "proper" style

THE POWER OF HINDSIGHT

sometimes i think of adding punchlines in the situations, or fix errors after i've put them in the queue, but forget to actually. do them.

after arei stole david's hairclips, emovid's debut would've been something along the lines of arei freeing him from his stage persona by taking away his hairclips. but i forgor.

monotv's body had the wrong colors this one time, but i have since decided that arei got paid by the real monotv to murder a bootleg / defect monotv

as i've mentioned in the tags, teruko on a llama at the machu picchu was supposed to be posted in ace yaps and levi listens' place, but i did an Oopsie and forgot to adjust the queue properly. out of the ~10 posts i had queued up that time, i got insanely lucky that the teruko doodle was the one that got delayed, since i forgot to draw her bandage. ultimate lucky student moment

also as i've mentioned in the tags, if my wii was still working i would've attempted to recreate an actual screenshot of j and arei playing mario kart wii

arei would've have had more time to steal even more things before i put her in jail, but i decided to give her a break this month. i assure you, she will return with a Vengeance.

OTHER REMARKS

i've gotten so, so used to drawing whit and arei. i haven't quite gotten the hang of everyone else yet, though i can draw xander, eden, and charles pretty consistently. hardest to draw is hu, but that's mainly because i can't draw straight hair

i kinda wanna add a subtle pattern to the background…? even just a grid would be fine. also thinking of changing the background color every now and then

i'd like to make an animation one day. it's definitely going to be a shitpost and a very unserious situation, but i'd like to make an animation one day

i expected struggling to catch up with requests, but i genuinely didn't expect about two new requests a day?? i really thought i had to pad out the days with more of my original situations, but i'm actually glad i have such a big selection of requests with a decent variety. Aside from arei's many, many crimes.

if you're still here... thank you so, so much! for reading until the end and entertaining my side project! i've never been a particularly "active" artist and tend to lurk more often than not, but seeing the same people regularly come and leave little comments in their reblogs does something to my heart that i didn't think could ever happen. even seeing new people excites me, because i think this is the smallest fandom i've ever been in? i hope i can keep this blog going…!

[citrus-cactus]

Creative Goals/Camp Digimonth Goals & Progress (January 15)

We're halfway through @campdigimonth! And there was a goal I realized I forgot to declare. WHOOPS! Fixed now!

Goals are split between “things I will put on Tumblr when they’re done” (aka, fandom stuff), and “things I will be keeping to myself” (because they will eventually have my real name associated with them).

Fandom stuff:

Finish one (1) piece for Survive Week. Status: Done. Been working diligently away at it all week, and as of yesterday I can finally say I’m done. Yay!! I’ll be posting it at the end of the month.

Repopulate the Haru blog queue. Status: 60% complete. This is the goal I forgot about! The queue is dangerously low, oh noes! I have uh… 99 screenshots for Episode 51 to upload, tag, and start captioning before the end of this week! 0_o

Personal stuff:

Create one (1) Secret Personal Project (SPP) drawing per week. UM! Well. Between the Survive thing taking longer than I meant to and making progress on the Surprise Goal, I…. did not make time for SPP this week (orz). But I should be able to get four of them done by the end of the month, so it all averages out. Status: 1/4 complete

I was going to add a stretch goal of finishing a second Survive piece, but since I’m behind on SPP, I’ll hold off on committing to that until I get back on track.

[treesap-blogs]

Happy Saturday! Here’s a review of “The Outlaws Scarlett And Browne” by Jonathan Shroud!

Hello, Tumblrians! Whilst we may not be nearing our 20th Tumblr Review yet (although the combined superpowers of my depression and my ADHD may get us alarmingly close to that goal in a short period of time if I don’t exercise restraint and stick with the 3 books per week thing), it is a special occasion nonetheless! This marks my 13th review! I don’t know if any of you guys know this, but 13 is my favorite number!!! (I like the supernatural/superstitious connotations with it. Mysterious!) (and partially out of spite, I like to think of it as lucky. Not that we’ll need that for this review, anyhow.)

Anyhow! Time for my personal favorite section, presumably your least favorite: 💫Book Backstory Time💫, the segment in which I explain how I encountered a book, a la Blob Of Text On A Recipe Before The Actual Recipe! I found out about it from Mellowkotto’s stories on Instagram, particularly when they talked about the bank robbery scene at the beginning. For some reason that was enough to sell it to me(which is so funny, because they just talked about liking Scarlett), and I ended up talking about the book to my mom because I’d put it on my notes app TBR. Didn’t catch onto why she asked at least twice or thrice for the title despite her only reading nonfiction books, but she messaged my mildly rich grandfather who gets my brother and I annual Christmas gifts, and swear I remember I opened up a December 2021 Christmas present to find it inside! (Goodreads lists a different release date for that?! Maybe it’s just the UK version or something, I live in the U.S. and it probably was put out at a different time. Plus, my copy has a different cover than the one I put under my “Read” folder/shelf.) I read the first fifty or so pages that night by the light of a Skittles-scented candle, and got to 100 or so by the end of winter before being a little burnt out and stopping. That was before I had a consistent reading schedule, though! Once I got one in 2022, I read a bit further until I forgot about it in my reading queue that was full of library books(literally the only reason I read fast haha), until I basically cleared that up this year and finished it! So it has technically taken me over a year to read this book. Lovely.

The Outlaws Scarlett And Browne is the first in a trilogy(only 2 books are out at the moment), following young adult crook Scarlett McCain. She’s on the run after committing a bank heist(which is slightly unusual for her because the stakes brought on by being chased by the law after just robbing a small bank are weirdly high?), and whilst doing so she encounters a boy around her age named Albert Browne. How did he end up the only remaining person in a bus that got completely totaled? Scarlett doesn’t know. But he tags along, and whilst they flee from the law through the woods, it seems like Albert’s hiding a lot of things from her. Is he a threat? Is he as he seems? What even is he hiding that makes officials so eager to catch him, and why is he wanted? Again, Scarlett doesn’t know. But she’s about to find out when they hesitantly form an alliance of sorts that develops into a friendship.

To be honest, I knew nothing about Jonathan Stroud until I picked up this book. Lockwood & Co., while not being his debut series, was by far his most popular (and no longer has a niche audience now that the Netflix series is out), and that’s kind of all I knew about? Ghost stuff and teens. And before that there was a different series that flipped magical realm morals on their head, and got him in the public eye(Barthemius, was it called? Some distinctly European fantasy name like that). So that set a lot of peoples’ expectations for this book very high, and many believed it didn’t deliver on that because it wasn’t as strong or original as some of his other works. I can’t comment on it that much, as I have no other works of his I can go off of, but I do think the overall world just doesn’t stick out for me.

Firstly! The plot, while interesting, didn’t really have anything I was all too surprised by. It felt like other things I’d find in other novels: a heavy reliance on “biological perfection” and the extreme lengths went to preserve that(albeit they were barely shown for this book, only mentioned frequently and remaining a looming threat), futuristic European setting (divided England was an interesting concept though, and London being split up into the islands for the refugees to inhabit), guy with secret dangerous powers that are probably enough for the FMC to worry about if their motives are unclear. (Here though, Maroon’s dynamic—the ship name for Albert and Scarlett, get it because scarlet and brown(e) make maroon—is left up to interpretation as to whether it’s strictly platonic, or a romantic thing, something worth nothing because that last bit is usually something an FMC is drawn to in a romantic subplot.) It was also simultaneously the first and not the first fantasy dystopia-ish novel I’ve read?! (I started it a year before The Belles, but finished it afterwards.)

With that said, though, there was one welcome change of pace I enjoyed: the lack of gender stereotypes with our main characters? While Scarlett faces some sexism during the book, her femininity isn’t used as a way to paint her out to be “less than”, nor is she automatically reduced to a “Not Like Other Girls” archetype by putting other women down for being “too girly”(something that might happen, with an action heroine written by a straight male author). Albert was also one of my favorites!! He’s unashamedly that person who posts about “haters being jealous of his childlike wonder”(please don’t take this literally it’s a meme reference, social media does not exist in TOSAB lmao), but then he..sometimes kills people too lmao?!?! Morally reprehensible ones, granted, but he’s still doing it with his volatile abilities and it does get suspicious the sheer number of foes trying to track him down(which is due to his abilities, he can make things go ka-bloom if he gets too scared, and he can also read minds without the tiring emotional outtake). I loved his duality as it was humorous at times, and that he was written to be more like a young adult than a stereotypically “guyish” or “manly” deuteragonist. 

(Shoutout to Joe though, for trusting Albert with Ettie because he’s good with kids, even though he has abilities that could accidentally kill her, and not trusting Scarlett with her because she’s not good with kids even though she’s just some powerless person who’d have to put physical effort into harming Ettie lmao. Saw a reader point out the irony in that, though it was funny in hindsight.)

Him and Scarlett were solid protagonists, too! It took a bit for Scarlett to warm up to Albert, but by the end of the book they cared a lot about each other, and it was sweet to see that both in how glad they were the other person was still alive, and how Albert took a page out of Scarlett’s book and was inspired to stand up against Dr Calloway(the scientist who’d been abusing him for years). (Heck, the two even decided to briefly take care of their companion’s granddaughter together! The moment in that sketchy building where they’re trying to calm down Ettie and lead her back to the boat so she doesn’t get eaten by monsters is my favorite part.) They also had distinctive personalities, which contrasted in a way that made their dynamic interesting. Their banter was interesting! (I giggled a few times but Scarlett definitely went a bit too far in some of her insults before she warmed up to Albert, like..girlie was out of left field once in the book particularly, and I think people who’ve read it will know when💀)

Anyways. Conclusion is, I thought this book was okay. Had I not been brought here by a pre-established Shroudverse fan, I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much! About 1/3rd through, I relied on the guidance of My Chemical Romance’s music in order to give me motivation to reach the halfway point. Perhaps Shroud’s other books are stronger in themes and plot, but at least the characters stuck. (I’ll give that to him, he can write MC dynamics well.)

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars. (This rating’s a versatile one, I’ve realized? Some 3 star books are mediocre, others are enjoyable but lack a few things to make them amazing.)

~Paz, signing off!

(Book content/trigger warnings: Some instances of physical/emotional abuse,  frequent mentions of ableism and slavery(the latter is not racial and isn’t described on page), general violence like guns and a bit of blood, sexism/misogyny.)

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

I posted 743 times in 2022

That's 533 more posts than 2021!

110 posts created (15%)

633 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@eeliabwrites

@heartxshaped-bruises

@fromxbeginningxtoxend

@vodkatoniic

@quotemadness

I tagged 741 of my posts in 2022

#[queue] - 340 posts

#character inspiration | alex smite - 144 posts

#ooc - 101 posts

#eeliabwrites - 56 posts

#inspiration - 50 posts

#sylwia&carter - 50 posts

#quotes - 45 posts

#character inspiration | sylwia - 40 posts

#character inspiration | danny brightside - 30 posts

#character inspiration | absinthe moon - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 89 characters

#[alex talks in his sleep a lot; so it's not unusual for him to wake up spouting nonsense]

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

       For very nearly a decade now, legal agencies had been avoided, backgrounds repainted, and the general feeling that they, apart from from a small group of people were unknown, lay undisturbed. So what made the bastard tailing them so goddamn special? Absinthe had picked them up at that greasy Chinese restaurant Frank loved so dearly. And from there, they had let the other follow them across the city. Avoiding shortcuts, unlit alleys, anything that could throw them off from the abandoned office building .  .  . The view was perfect, and true to form, the curtains were open next door.

       Three, two one- The shot rang briefly as the body of a man they didn’t know but inevitably disliked fell onto the carpet. As far as they’d ever been able to tell, if someone was willing to pay a reasonable sum for your death, you had it coming.

       Smaller sums would have indicated a lack of .  .  . How should we put this, care? Commitment? Any exorbitant amount was sure to have political ties.

       Absinthe took a breath. Now they needed to leave.

       “If you’re going to be here anyway,” Absinthe said to the individual in the back. “you may as well ride shotgun. And put on your seat-belt.”

@heartxshaped-bruises​​

7 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

#4

       So .  .  . He was right. Alex tapped his fingers against his knee rapidly. He thought if you squinted, that you could tell him and Sarah were related. They were, weren’t they? He was in a rabbit hole now, and honestly? It wasn’t as much fun as he imagined. “I’m a nosy little shit who spends too much time stalking people online.” Hence a collection of people with his face who were all leading different lives. “But how did you find out?” In both senses he supposed.

       There were a lot of questions, and probably a limited number of answers. How different were they? How different was he? The thought of being one of a set didn’t sit well with him, even if a small, self-betraying part of him liked the idea of having a big family. It was too optimistic to be realistic. He should have known that by now. Things in his life did not have a habit of working out.

       “Uh, I’m not sure if you already know or I introduced myself and I forgot, because that happens sometimes, but I’m Alex.”

@cxmewhxtmxy​

12 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#3

Pink hair fell in front of her face, dresses shifting between the racks until Carter came up beside her, holding up a rather distasteful thing. “Why did you even ask me to come if that’s what you want me to wear?” Carter could hire someone in that case! She was not interested! Sylwia shook her head. “Never mind. I’ll look on my own. If you still want me to come with you, you know where to find me.”

Why she extended an open invitation to Carter, she had no idea. The time and effort alone, that she’d put into getting ready did not make it worth it. Sylwia sighed, running her hands down the front of the dress. Supposedly Carter was coming to pick her up. He still needed a date .  .  . If he stood her up, there was always the bar close to the apartments. They had burgers and pool, and sometimes they had karaoke. So they advertised. Sylwia had never been in. “This is ridiculous!” Sylwia muttered to herself, touching up her hair so it looked just right. She barely knew what a gala was. It was a formal occasion, something out of a fairy tale. It was something to be suspicious of, since she didn’t know what to expect. Excited might have been a decent word for it a few minutes ago, but nerves were beginning to tie knots in her stomach.

Was it too late to back out? Just turn off all the lights and sit in her room like the old days? Sylwia leaned against the wall, picking at her lace sleeves as gently as she could. She was trying to branch out. Be a better person. But did this really count? Being Carter’s date? Was that better now?

A car horn honked outside. That was her!

Hopefully.

Maybe.

Sylwia grabbed her phone and her apartment key, walking down and getting into the car without looking at Carter .  .  . She was holding her phone so tightly her knuckles were turning white. “Well?” She finally asked, looking up at the other. “What do you think?” Did she look alright, or was he going to drop her off to hire someone in a slutty dress?

@eeliabwrites​

25 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

#2

I feel very small. I don't understand. I have so much courage, fire, energy, for many things, yet I get so hurt, so wounded by small things.

Anais Nin, Nearer the Moon: The Previously Unpublished Execpurgated Diary, 1937-1939

28 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“Love is dead.” She didn’t want it to die, but inevitably, the roses wilted and the fire burned. “Whatever people say love is now . . .” Sylwia shook her head.

43 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rovingotter]

If Asha really had not realized or put together that Magnifico was intentionally keeping people's wishes that they entrusted him with (and then forgot what they even were) fully committed to never ever granting them to those people, then no one in Rosas is likely to have realized. And this would count as a betrayal of trust by a ruler to his subjects AND a form of theft by deception/fraud.

I guess this is the crux of our disagreement.

For one thing I'd just consider it unrealistic that no one in Rosas has put two and two together and realized there's a possibility that their wish might not be granted. Is that not a question anyone has asked before deciding to live here? And the movie's writing also seems confused as to whether Asha herself has realized this before her interview with Magnifico.

I guess when there are writing issues of this caliber it becomes kind of difficult to examine the various characters' morality because it's hard to separate their actions from problems with the writing, but...again, Rosas' citizens are fully aware that they forget once they give their wish, this is common knowledge, and Asha's narration in the opening makes it clear that she's aware that only some wishes ("the good and the worthy") get granted, and she seems okay with this. But then in the confrontation scene she acts as though she's realizing it for the first time and that this information was deliberately kept from her.

I've heard takes that Magnifico doesn't outright lie so much as gloss over the terms and conditions of the bargain with his subjects, but I guess I'm still kind of puzzled as to which "terms and conditions" he's glossing over. Just the statistical improbability of any given wish being granted? Given that everyone knows how frequently/infrequently wishes get granted, clinging to the blind conviction that their wish is going to be deemed one of the "good and worthy" and that it'll quickly rise to the top of the queue seems like self-deception and willful ignorance more than anything. I guess you could say that they buy into this system out of desperation because they're refugees who just need a place to live, which would make Magnifico more exploitative, and would also make sense. But that's not what we're shown. We're shown tourists shopping around for a new home, asking questions and getting straightforward answers, then saying, "Forget without regret? That sounds swell! I'll give my wish!"

And the movie is not very critical of the citizens of Rosas for making the conscious choice to put their dreams in someone else's hands and then passively wait for them to come true. (Which would not even be an inherently bad choice if they were at peace with the idea that it might never be granted and willing to make that tradeoff to live in Rosas...but again, the writing seems confused as to how aware they are of this and how much they accept it.) The closest we come to that is Sabino saying "I should never have given this to Magnifico." But there's really no exploration of that, no deeper dive.

The movie seems like it's trying to grapple with the nature of authoritarian systems and why they're appealing to some people, the impulses for safety and security that push those people toward surrendering control over their own autonomy to a kind of parental figure who promises to handle all the difficult stuff. But in the end it doesn't feel like a critique or examination of authoritarianism. Instead, Magnifico himself, the individual, is presented as the entire problem, and once he's defeated it's like, "Okay, we got rid of the bad apple, now everything is automatically good again. No need to examine anything else." (And yeah, also the wishes have been freed but it didn't really feel like anyone has learned anything.)

That type of "kill/defeat the one evildoer" conflict works for earlier Disney movies where the entire problem really is created by one baddie, but here I think the movie's writers bit off more moral complexity than they could chew. Magnifico doesn't kidnap anyone. He and Amaya settle in Rosas and just put the word out that they're granting wishes for "the good and worthy," and people voluntarily flock to them and enter their wishes into the wish lottery.

And because no one learns anything at the end, because the blame is all externalized onto Magnifico for "deceiving" them (and because the revolution basically happens overnight and is mainly instigated by one person), I suspect these people have not grown and not genuinely embraced autonomy; they will just shift to expecting Amaya and Asha to fulfill all their dreams for them.

I mean, the evil book, the power it grants him, and his altered mental state/addiction is all the result of his own conscious decision he made when feeling unappreciated, undermined, and desparate for a quick fix, so that's still on him.

It's a poor decision, but characters can make bad decisions (even bad decisions motivated by genuine flaws) without being villainous. Paranoia, impulsiveness, feeling underappreciated and angry and desperate, etc. are all things that can push someone to make such a choice, but in addition to harming others it's also a self-destructive choice. With Scar, Ursula, etc. their villainous actions are all part of a master plan. It's all calculated. Magnifico, on the other hand, is spiraling out of control. He does things that are plainly not in his own interest, because the more rational part of his mind knows that the book is going to consume him, and his emotions overwhelm that knowledge.

How accountable people are when they make decisions under these conditions, when their prefrontal cortex is not cortexing properly, is a complicated question. I don't think it's one the movie was prepared to engage with at all.

The comparison to Gaston is an interesting one; I actually was thinking of Gaston the other day and why his arch worked better. I think the key difference is that Gaston is not really given any moments of earnest emotion and vulnerability in the earlier half of the movie. With Magnifico there's the scene where Amaya talks him down from the book, but also (even more significant, I think) there's the moment of connection with Asha where they bond over their shared loss and then he makes a decision to show her the wishes...a moment of genuine vulnerability and risk on his part, since it's established that he almost never lets anyone see the wishes. Plus the warmth he shows during "At All Costs" where he seems to genuinely believe that he's protecting something important by keeping them here (or at least, he's fully convinced himself of that). And the whole thing with his previous homeland being destroyed and that being the motivation for creating Rosas...like, Gaston got none of that.

Reportedly (I never saw it) the live action Beauty and the Beast tried to tack on a traumatic backstory for Gaston but it felt out of place because that was never what he was about. He was a big fish in a small pond who developed an inflated sense of his own importance, and that was all he needed, motive-wise.

The movie just muddied his motivation by having the earlier scene where he's talked down from it by Amaya and seems sincerely thankful to her for it, so it didn't seem like a whole lot changed between that point and when he does unseal the book in the midst of a comically self-obsessed villain song.

What changed was that he looked to his people (as Amaya advised) and they started asking a lot of questions, which made him agitated and amplified his sense that he was losing control of his little perfect world. The movie had already established that he's easily riled when people start questioning or criticizing him (as evidenced by him losing his temper with Asha) and at that point he was also additionally agitated by the flash of mysterious light that he believed represented a warning or a threat, so I didn't find that particular turn of events hard to believe. (And after that point he was under the magic's influence so of course he's acting like a different character.) He gets triggered, basically.

Which, again, demonstrates why it's a bad idea for a single person to have that much control and why there need to be checks and balances...but again, I think the message should have been that the power structure and the seductive nature of authoritarianism rather than Magnifico himself was the actual problem.

Possibly I'm biased because I'm not the biggest fan of punitive justice systems to begin with. But that's why I think him simply losing his crown, rather than "imprisoned for eternity," feels like a more appropriate ending. (Also it shouldn't have ended with Rosas still being a monarchy and Asha still having magic powers.)

Edited to add: It's kind of interesting that I've seen some takes that say Magnifico represents capitalism (or even specifically of Disney, the corporation...though I doubt they would consciously criticize themselves in that way) and other takes claiming he represents socialism. I could sort of see the case for either but I think mostly we just weren't supposed to think about it this hard or take the premise this seriously.

Wish and King Magnifico?

Ever since the trailer dropped, I’ve been seeing more and more people coming to King Magnifico’s defense about his wish granting, and it’s honestly really weird to me given that he is a literal villain. Like the do-an-evil-laugh-in-the-dark-while-casting-a-forbidden-green-spell kind of villain.

Like I’m fully aware that not every wish needs to come true, and that the world would descend into chaos if everyone got what they wanted, BUT Asha just doesn’t seem the type to be selfish in wishing. I feel like she’ll learn early on that Star’s wish magic has limits

This was more than likely the intention of the design team; having a villain wear white will subconsciously convince your audience that he’s not utterly and entirely evil. That, and also he’s hot. No wonder everyone’s giving him the benefit of the doubt.

I just wish that they alluded to more of the plot in the trailer. They should’ve shown the part that tells us that the wishes are erased from the wisher’s mind if they are not granted immediately and instead sent to the tower; it seems rather cruel to keep a piece of one’s memory away from them. Asha’s grandfather’s 100th birthday is also a subplot of the movie, and she learns that one of his wishes has long since been neglected in the palace walls. The knowledge of these two things act as the catalyst in her confrontation of King Magnifico. She more than likely wants the people of Rosas to just live freely with the memories of their wishes, instead of keeping them in a tower.

[crazyfreckledginger]

Jason Todd x Reader - “In The Pale Moonlight”

After a one night stand, Jason doesn’t seem to be able to get his mind off you. Desperate to get you out of his head, he hesitantly agrees to go to Wayne Enterprise with his brothers for work, as a response to scrutiny from the general public. What happens when the person he was trying to erase from his memory pops right back into his life?

Requested by anon and on Wattpad: “Can I request one where reader and one of the boys are dating but they act like they still trying to get each other so they flirt a lot and stuff even if everyone knows they’re together”/ 

“And other one where the reader is feeling herself and singing “Meet me in the pale moonlight” by Lana Del Rey in front of one of batboys and they’re like wow she cute and kiss the readeeeeeer (they’re dating and they’re teenagers)THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU 💕” /

“haha well I have another which was that the reader is harley and Bruce's kid and she meets  batboys but jason since she knew before she left  for the first time since she was away for wayne industries business meetings”

A/N: I hope you guys don’t mind that I tweaked it a little since these requests don’t have alot of depth individually!

“I’m just here for a drink.” the girl smiled politely even though she was extremely uncomfortable. 

“I am too, can I have it with you?”

“Oh for crying out loud leave her alone, don’t be such a creep.” The man at the end of the counter groaned.

“Mind your business.” the creep gritted his teeth.

“Your disgusting aura is polluting my drink so it makes it my business.” (Y/N) watched as he stood up and walked towards the pair. Now that he was closer, the woman could see how attractive he was up close, stunning eyes, sharp jaw, tall and a streak of dyed white hair, “Fuck off will you?” 

“Who do you think you are?” 

“Sorry, I forgot a world, fuck off please.” The stranger shot the man a terrifying glare and without another word, the man studded away, like a dog with its tail between his legs. 

“Thank you mister, but if he laid a hand on me I would have sucker punched him.” 

“Mister huh?” he smirked, sitting beside her. 

“Well what’s your name then?” 

“Jason, pleasure to meet you.” 

****

“This is your place?” she hummed, fingers running through his soft hair as his lips trailed down her neck, pulling her legs around his hips.

“Mmh hmm,” 

“You rich or something?” the woman breathed out as he sucked on her skin. 

“Something like that,” he murmured, pulling away to tease her lips with his. Jason stared deeply into her eyes.

“What are you waiting for, lover boy? You brought me here.” (Y/N)’s arms hung loosely on his shoulders, occasionally touching the back of his head.

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, hooking his hands under her legs and carrying her to his bedroom.

****

Glancing at her side to the soft breathing of the naked man beside her, she shuffled, stretching and yawning. What a night, she tried moving her legs but winced, what a night indeed. 

“Good morning princess,” his morning voice was incredibly attractive as his arm slid around her waist, pulling her flush against him.

“Mmh, good morning,” the woman squirmed in his grip as he nipped at her ear teasingly with his teeth, “what time is it?”

“You have someplace to be?” he murmured, hand caressing her naked hip.

“Yeah, I have work.”

“On a Saturday?” 

“Self employed.” 

“Nice!” 

****

A month or so later, Jason was frustratedly sitting in the meeting room, chewing on his lip in boredom as Bruce brought all of them to a meeting at Wayne Enterprise for less scrutiny from the public eye. 

“The person we will be working on for the new design is going to arrive soon so I need you all on your best behaviour.” He glared at all the boys. 

“Yeah yeah, can we just get on with it so I can leave?” The second oldest rolled his eyes. 

“Mr Wayne?” as if on queue, the person knocked on the one-way privacy film that covered every window of the room, the blurred figure waiting patiently on the other side. 

With a last scolding glance to everyone, Bruce strutted over, opening the door and smiling.

“Good morning Mr Wayne.” the woman greeted with a polite smile.

Jason’s eyes widened, and stayed that way even when he made eye contact with the girl. She responded with the same reaction, but quickly regained her composure and greeted the other boys. 

“Oh hey (Y/N),” Dick waved to his roommate, “you look great.” He flirted.

“...Um hey,” she greeted hesitantly, feeling a little uncomfortable with his usual ways in the professional setting.

“Shall we get down to business.” Bruce glared at his eldest son.

****

“You don’t have to act so grumpy.” Jason rolled his eyes as they finally arrived at their hotel in Europe after an excruciatingly long flight. 

“I’m tired, I need sleep.” Not wanting to address the elephant in the room, especially when she was this exhausted, she scurried to the bathroom to slip into comfortable pyjamas and landed right into bed, “I’m having this conversation tomorrow, good night.” 

The next day came quickly and (Y/N) opened her eyes reluctantly, wanting to melt in the comfortable double bed she was in. Discreetly, she peeked at the double bed facing her diagonally. 

The woman frowned, it was empty.

“I’m right here.” the man voiced from behind her as he exited the bathroom.

“Jason!” she screeched, “what the hell! Don’t creep up on people!” 

“Well don’t try to spy on people when they are sleeping!” he threw his damp towel to her.

“Ewwwww!” she grimaced.

“Chill, I was drying my hair with that.” he walked towards his bed, and she only now noticed that he was naked -- with a towel around his waist obviously. Steam was emitting from his skin as it glistened still.

With warm ears, she pulled the covers over her face, eyes peeking out discreetly.

“We’ve seen each other completely naked, I don’t see what the problem is, if you’re going to look, be shameless,” he moved his butt from left to right teasingly, “you can see this regularly if you want,” he chuckled.

With a sigh, she buried herself under the covers. 

“I haven’t changed my mind Jason, I’m sorry, I’m not interested in commitment at the moment.” 

She felt a weight on the bed and hesitantly took a peep out. Jason was laying on her bed, shirtless but with some underwear on.

“At least give me the benefit of the doubt for this trip.” he gave her the puppy eyes. Eying him suspiciously, she sighed.

“Alright, fine, don’t disappoint.”

****

A few months or so later into the relationship with Jason and gotten closer to his younger brothers, (Y/N) slipped on a comfortable T-shirt, watching herself in the mirror as she tidied her hair a bit and examined the hickey on her neck.

Swaying lightly from side to side to the song that was stuck in her head, she hummed softly to herself, setting out her clothes for the day.

“You don't have to give me anything

Just put your sweet kiss kiss on my lips now baby”

Walking back to the mirror, deciding on whether or not jewelry was necessary, the woman continued.

“Think about you almost all the time, all the time and-”

 “I love you so much baby,” he breathed out from the other side of the room. 

“Hmm?” she glanced in the mirror. 

“Keep singing~” 

“No,” she stuck her tongue out playfully, “are you ready?”

“Do we have to go?” Jason whined, marching up to her, slapping her ass and squeezing it before hugging her from behind, nuzzling her hair, his warm skin against her.

“Baby of course we do, we have to hide the fact that we’re together, plus they are fun, we’re all friends here.” she rubbed her butt against his hips and he bit her ear. 

“No teasing,” he whispered in her ear, turning her around and pushing her against the dresser, “or else.” 

“Or else?” the woman chuckled, “but seriously though,” her hands cupped his cheeks as he stared at her lips, “we can’t act like a couple, it’s unprofessional,” 

“Technically I don’t work at the company,” 

“And the person I’m working with is your dad.”

“Adoptive, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Just a coffee, maybe a lunch, and then we can come straight home.” 

“Mmh, okay,” he pouted, holding her tightly as she kissed his lips and pulled away. “You sing beautifully, please do it more for me.” he pouted. She chuckled, shaking her head slightly in embarrassment.

“Put a shirt on and let’s get ready, I don’t want to be late!” (Y/N) ushered, “and the sooner you’re out of here, the less anxious I’ll be that your brother unexpectedly enters his own home and sees you in it.”

When they were ready, at a somewhat reasonable time, they drove there as quickly and responsibly as possible.

“Why is your hand still on my thigh?!” (Y/N) jumped once she realised he had discreetly snaked his hand back on her thigh when he was parking the car on the side of the road, in a surprising proximity. Slapping his hand away and giving him a look, the woman slipped out of the car and walked up the stairs, ringing on the bell.

Jason scurried up beside her, slapping her butt playfully before pushing the door open. 

“Hey guys!” she grinned, not having the time to scold her boyfriend once again as she was greeted with welcoming smiles. 

“How have you been?” Dick teased, having seen her just yesterday.

After playful banter, and not-so-playful for the brothers, over a nice hot drink, a new topic came up.

“How was the party yesterday (Y/N)?” Jason inquired, knowing fully well about it but trying to seem inconspicuous, “I hope no one stole your heart, that’s for me!” … or not.

She paused, giving him an unimpressed look, reluctant to answer “It was great, and no.” 

“No what?” he smirked. Her cheeks burned, she did not like being put on the spot to lie, especially since this was incredibly unnecessary.

“No one did anything.” 

“To who-”

“This is embarrassing, we know you two are a couple,” Damian nearly gagged. 

“Huh?” (Y/N) turned to him, feeling her soul leave her body.

“How do you know?” Jason looked at him.

“It’s been a while.” Dick chuckled.

“We been knew 💅,” Tim rolled his eyes.

“Someone left someone’s underwear in an awkwardly obvious place when I came around… and you slapped her butt before you came in here, everyone saw it.” Dick explained, watching his brother.

“OH MY GOD, JASON!” 

“I didn’t- wait, how do you know that it’s her underwear???”

The eldest’s expression fell and he blushed. 

“I might have um-” 

“He accidentally came in when I was packing my bag to leave for the business meeting in France okay?” the woman spluttered. 

“You did WHAT?”

Comments, votes and feedback improve motivation, writing and publishing, so it is in your best interest to leave some! :)  

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Tagging: @lumifuer​ @ijustwantmyshipstobehappy​ @plethora-of-things @xlatinaaxx​ @lostnliterature @batette​ @schweeeppess​ @gearsinice​ @mizmahlia​ @tina8009 @disa​ @caswinchester2000​ @brooklynalpha​  @jason-todd-squad @vix360​

[chuckbass-love]

Johnny smut#4

Hello lovely anon. Thank you so much for this request, again, i’m sorry for the long wait but i didn’t want to write this when i didn’t have much motivation and then have it turn out any less than perfect. I hope it’s worth the wait for you and that you enjoy it.

Also a lil A/N for everyone: To everyone who has requested, i’m gonna get back on it and try and get at least 2 or 3 out per week if possible. I lost motivation for a hot minute but i’m back. I love you all so much. Also, part 7 to only love can hurt like this will be up sometime in the next week or so. I’m still working on it but i already can’t wait for you all to read.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Johnny Storm x Fem!Reader

Prompt #4: “You’d better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught”

Warning: Smut, explicit content, sexual intercourse, hair pulling, choking, mouth covering and swearing. 18+

Word Count: 5,160

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @mcustarks go check them out❤️

Best Friends Brother

As your eyes glance around the beautiful garden filled with white chairs either side of the aisle with flower arrangements all the way to the alter. You can’t help but feel utterly enchanted by the scene, it’s stunning. However, you’re in the wrong place right now, Sue specifically asked you to meet her out back to help her get ready but as soon as you turnaround to head there, you bump into Johnny of all people.

To put it simply, Johnny isn’t exactly your favourite person and you’re not his either. Well, that’s a lie. When around others you don’t get along, you don’t hate each other you just don’t really have much to say since he’s always so cocky and you’re his older sisters best friend. But behind closed doors, the sexual chemistry is off the charts and you’ve spent too many nights tangled up in his sheets to count on two hands.

No one knows about your late night rendezvous though, especially Sue. And she can never find out. It would hurt her. You’re her best friend and Johnny is her little brother. So it’s a secret and it will always remain one.

“Wow” his lips curl up into a genuine smile as his eyes take in your figure in the floor length  dark purple bridesmaid dress you have on “you look, great” he says as he tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth, clearly unable to stop those dirty thoughts running wild in his head.

“Just great?” you ask, brow raising slightly before you chuckle and move to walk past him but he grabs your arm just in time to stop you from going anywhere “not just great, but gorgeous. In fact if this wasn’t my sisters wedding then i’d say you were the best looking one here” he turns his head in your direction, his dreamy blue eyes meeting yours, both filled with lust and need. But you can’t do this here. Today is Sue and Reed’s day.

“Johnny” you whisper lazily, the feel of his skin on yours makes you shiver with desire for him to fill you up, kiss you and make you cum around his cock multiple times but that will have to wait. You really need to snap out of this. So you do, you blink and look back up at him before slowly pulling away from “Sue needs me now, i have to go” and just like that he’s behind you, watching as you walk away. Mostly just to watch the way your ass moves in that dress. You can’t say you blame him though, your ass does look good.

The second you step foot indoors you hear Sue moaning about anything and everything to who sounds like Alicia.

“Your saviour is here” you announce and Sue turns around, beaming at you and you can’t help but stare at her. She looks absolutely breathtaking and her dress is the most beautiful you’ve ever seen. She looks just like a princess.  Alicia then leaves to go and check on Ben, leaving you two to it.

“Sue, you look amazing” tears brim in your eyes, drowning out your vision, she spots it immediately, rushing to hand you a tissue “don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. You’ll ruin your makeup”

You take it from her, dabbing underneath your eyes before taking the eyeliner from her to re do what couldn’t be saved in time “i can’t believe you’re finally getting your big day” you finish zipping up her dress before helping her out with her veil.

“Well i’ve waited long enough” she laughs as you finish up and you turn her round so she can look at herself in the mirror.

“Now, i just need to finish my make-up. Help a girl out?”

You don’t even bother to respond, instead you start helping, picking up her bag of products. Her foundation is done so it’s just her eye makeup and lipstick that’s left to do. You go with a nice subtle smokey eye with a little silver glitter on top. Then to finish it off you apply some nude lip gloss to her lips before leaving her to do her own mascara, you would hate to mess it up after all.

“Oh i forgot to check with you, is Johnny outside?”

Even the mention of his name has an obvious effect on your body and it’s something you’ve never been able to control but instead of letting it show, you put your poker face on, clearing your throat and mumbling a quick “yes” and thank god she doesn’t catch on or say anything. You must have hid it well.

“Right, ladies the guests are arriving now and Reed is helping them all to their seats so are you ready?” Johnny pokes his head into the room and Sue nods, letting out a deep breath.

He glances at you before Sue walks over to him to make their way to the other room in which she’s going to be leaving out of to walk down the aisle, leaving you standing there sighing.

Guess it’s time for you to take your own place too. You follow closely behind them and then you and Alicia wait for your queue to go, she goes first, then you. Flowers in hand, smiling around at all of the guests, every one of them dressed up in bright colours, wedding hats galore. And as you take your place next to Alicia at the side of the alter, you watch your best friend walk down the aisle with pride. She means the world to you and if there’s one person who’s the most deserving of happiness, it’s her.

Reed wipes away tears as she stands next to him and you feel your heart melting, more tears forming. Johnny watches you from across the way, wiping your own tears of joy before his focus shifts to the vows.

Sometimes he gets urges to ask you out on a date but as quickly as those urges form, they fade. There’s not a chance in hell of you saying yes to him and he knows it. He’s just a hookup and he’s no stranger to half platonic relationships. He’s never particularly been one for commitment anyway but something about you changes his mind. Since you’ve been Sue’s best friend for god knows how long now, he’s watched many guys come and go in and out of your life. He’s watched and even listened to the many times Sue has held you whilst you cried and to tell the truth, he’s never been able to fathom why anyone would ever want to hurt you. Why anyone would ever cheat or leave you. He always had the biggest crush on you and it’s never left. 

Hence why one day he made a move, giving you his best cheesy pick up line at a party Sue threw one weekend. But you ignored him, it was only 2 hours into the party and you weren’t drunk enough to be taking him seriously. However, multiple drinks and shots later, he tried his luck again, and he hit the jackpot. You took him up on his offer. Whilst Sue was in the other room trying to clean up after her guests, you were in Johnny’s room, stripping off in-between heated open mouthed kisses.

It’s pretty obvious where that lead and the next day, you were so mad at yourself for letting it get that far. You cursed alcohol and your stupid brain as you quickly re dressed, repulsed at yourself and your actions. That’s when Johnny shot up, trying his best to make you stay, shutting the door as you tried to open it and standing in the way. You made eye contact with the player and he kissed you. You can’t recall anything else other than feeling captivated by him. His lips moved in sync with yours like they were always made to touch and you couldn’t control the way your body yearned for more.

And the rest is history. Since then you’ve been late night texting and meeting up whenever you could to hook up. Johnny eventually got his own apartment too which only lead to more often than not, the pair of you fucking like rabbits.

It hasn’t just been hookups though, as much as you’d love to lie and pretend that it doesn’t mean a thing, it does. You like Johnny, of course you do. He’s actually the only guy that’s ever been able to make you cum. The only guy who isn’t completely selfish in bed. He makes it all about you, every dam time and you feel torn when it comes to him. A huge part of you knows the two of you feel something deeper and more than just sex. You feel something more intimate. It’s definitely not love but it could be, one day.

Before you know it, you’re ripped from your Johnny themed thoughts as everyone starts cheering and clapping. You join in, watching Reed kiss Sue passionately before the two of them walk back up the aisle. You, Alicia, Johnny and Ben all follow behind with the guests joining in.

The reception is just inside and as soon as you all enter, the music begins. The real old school music. You’re The One That I Want from Grease. The DJ really has a way of luring everyone onto the dance floor right away. Usually at weddings, everyone sits down drinking and chilling before the buffet food comes out but not this wedding.

Sue grabs your hand and the two of you re enact the classic Sandy and Danny scene, overly dramatic though of course and unbeknownst to you, Johnny is watching your every move, unable to stop himself grinning like a cheshire cat. It’s very clear you’re having the time of your life and all he wants is to be able to dance with you.

Once the song is over, you walk around the room to look for the table that you’re going to be sitting at until you hear “over here” and you know that voice anywhere. You turn around to find Johnny sat down, a large glass of wine next to his beer. He ordered for you? Why?

“You’re next to me, hope that’s okay” he stands up, helping you into your chair and tucking it in for you before taking his seat again and sliding the glass of wine to you.

“White wine is still your favourite, right?” nerves fill his voice as he keeps his eyes locked on you “yes, it is. You remembered. Thank you” you waste no time in taking a big gulp of it, you can practically feel yourself getting aroused just by sitting next to the man and to think you’re going to have to deal with it the whole day is torture.

You press your thighs together, trying your hardest to stop whatever is happening in its tracks.

“You not going to dance some more?” he asks, sitting back in his chair, one arm draped round the back of yours “maybe in a minute, i’m still recovering from the first one” you giggle nervously, scared of being seen with him. Sure, you were put with him by Sue herself but what if your farce comes apart now, after all, he is being nice to you and the resting bitch face is missing instead a happy expression has taken its place.

Maybe no one will notice since it’s Sue’s big day, that could be the excuse you use if anyone says anything but then again, why should you care to make excuses? If you enjoy his company that shouldn’t be an issue. Maybe Sue won’t care. She’s always wanted Johnny to settle down with someone nice and you’re nice, right? She’s also wanted you to find someone too. But her best friend and brother getting together probably isn’t what she had in mind.

The song Crazy In Love by Beyonce comes on and Sue practically summons you to the dance floor, so you down the rest of your wine before you rush over to join her. Skipping the regular moves, you and Sue both start dancing like it’s just the two of you. No move off limits as you both grind your hips in circles, shaking your asses and laughing your heads off. She is the only person in this world that can make you laugh like that and you feel incredibly lucky to have her and to be here for her big day.

As your moves get more risqué you catch Johnny adjusting his cock in his dress trousers before drinking more of his beer.

The tension is building within you and you’ve never had to fight temptation so much in the whole year that you two have been doing this. You’re usually very good at waiting and making him wait for it but right now, it’s too hard. The next song that comes on is Check On It by Beyonce, again.

The more of the song that you dance to, you notice the lyrics surprisingly match your situation and a wave of confidence drenches you like rain.

If you got it flaunt it, boy I know you want it While I turn around you watch me check up on it Oh you watchin me shake it, I see it in ya face Ya can't take it, it's blazin’, you watch me in amazement

You continue to show off your best assets, making sure you tease and wind him up more before you make any kind of move which is what you usually do. Any time the two of you fool around, you make him wait and earn it, but it’s one of many reasons why he loves hooking up with you, you’re not easy, you know your worth and you’re 100% worth the wait.

The song finishes leaving yourself and Sue breathless almost. Reed stalks closer, handing his bride a drink and you head over to the bar to get another for yourself before sitting back down again. The buffet will be available soon and you’re desperate for something to eat. Peckish isn’t the word.

“Hello again” Johnny beams and you sip some more wine, a rather big sip yet again before you respond “hello. Are you gonna sit here the whole night?” you question with genuine curiosity, he only really danced a little when the Grease song was on but that’s about it and you aren’t oblivious to the other women checking him out.

“No i intend to dance i just need to be drunk enough for it first”

“I see, maybe then one of those lovely ladies will get a chance to dance with you” you say, observing one in particular who has been staring non stop.

“Please, i’d rather dance with you”

Your heart skips a beat and dare you say it, your vagina develops one. He’s such a sweet talker.

“You looked good out there, y’know” he motions towards the dance floor as if you didn’t already clock on to what he meant and you can’t deny the way your cheeks start to heat up as you thank him shyly.

That’s when he leans closer to your ear, his arm round the back of your chair again as he rasps “and that ass of yours in this dress, baby you got me so hard” his breath fans your neck as he returns to his normal sitting position but he doesn’t miss the way your breath hitches at the dirty comment. He knows all too well the effect he has on you and you know the effect you have on him.

In the past all it’s taken for him is for you to bite your lip and stare him down for him to get hard before. You’re his weakness.

Before you can even go to respond to him though, he clears his throat, tapping away on his phone as he stands up “anyway, if you’ll excuse me, nature calls” he slips his phone back into his pocket, walking away towards the toilets which just so happens to be right behind the DJ.

Your phone buzzes and you check to see a message from him ‘You coming?’ the text reads.

And that alone is enough for you to choke on your own saliva. You quickly sip your drink before standing up yourself and making your way over to the mens toilets. Thank God no one saw you.

“Johnny” you whisper yell until one of the cubicle doors opens, the bigger one at the end. He winks at you as he appears in the doorway and you strut over to him, allowing him to pull you in and lock the door. Your body is flush against his as he starts to kiss your collarbone first. If Johnny is anything it’s a man who loves to savour the moment. He hates quickies and loves to take his time with you.

You’re obviously not the first woman to fall victim to his touch but you’re the only one right now and you’re glad that he’s had experience, it’s clearly made him all the more sensational  in the bedroom.

“Oh” you throw your head back on a quiet moan, hoping not to be too loud despite music blasting outside making it impossible for anyone to hear you.

“Every time you dance, you drive me crazy. Shaking that perfect ass of yours in this dress, making me want you so bad” his lips hover over your sweet spot, his breath fanning it just like it did before.

You wrap your arms loosely round his neck as your back arches and his lips attack your neck like a man possessed, everything about this moment should feel wrong and yet it feels so right. The thought crosses your mind that everyone is out there dancing and most likely eating now all while Johnny is playing with your dress, lifting it up to reveal the new panties that you brought for today. Purple lace to match your dress.

“Oh baby” he groans, tugging on his bottom lip at the sight as his fingers wonder down and slip inside. His cold palm cups your sex making you shiver in surprise before he makes you forget all about it by spinning you around so that you’re pressed against the wall. Caged in by his muscular body as he towers over you.

He presses a chaste kiss to the back of your neck and heat starts to rise to your cheeks, you can’t contain the flustered feeling that fills you. He’s always had a way of being so dominant and stealing all control from you in an instant, since you’re so used to the roles being reversed in your life, he was more than into changing that. And to tell the truth, it’s one of the many reasons that you keep coming back. He pushes you out of your comfort zone in more ways than one.

His fingers play with the flimsy material of your new panties, grazing over your clit multiple times until you’re poking your ass out into his hand. “Someones keen, huh?” his low, raspy and taunting chuckle fills your ear sending shivers up and down your spine and causing goosebumps to form all over your hungry body.

“Please, Johnny” you beg pathetically, once again pushing back against his hand in hopes that he’ll get a move on and touch your properly. Which of course he does. You know he can never resist your charm. All the more reason why he’s slipping your panties to the side now so that his fingers can circle your arousal covered hole, almost dipping into your honey pot but holding back.

“Beg for it” he growls, taking your right earlobe between his teeth and biting down lightly “beg like the good girl i know you are” he continues and you gasp before breathing out a quick plea “p-please touch me Johnny, i need it” as your hands find purchase on the wall.

The feel of his knee spreading your legs apart gets you all the more excited for what’s the come and that’s when he gives you all that you’ve been craving, slipping two thick digits inside of you, coating them in your juices as they hit that spongy spot. He’s never had much trouble when it comes to finding your weak spots, he knows your body inside and out at this point and there’s not a time where you don’t cum when you’re with him.

“That good baby? My fingers getting that little cunt ready for my cock”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head in reaction to the pure filth leaving his not so innocent mouth and just as you go to let out a near enough pornographic style moan, throwing your head back too, the restroom door opens making you stop yourself. Footsteps make their way to one of the cubicles that just so happens to be next to the one your in.

Johnny then takes it upon himself to pull his drenched fingers out of you, reaching his hand in front of your face and shoving them into your mouth for you to suck on, using his free hand to undo his belt and now you know that you’re done for. You know exactly what he’s about to do. His cock rests at your entrance, staying there for a second before he slides in. Your walls welcome him in the best way, wrapping around his cock as he splits you open, stretching you beautifully yet again just like he does every time. The all too familiar feeling consumes you.

“You’d better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught” he mutters in hushed tones, switching it up so that his hand is fully covering your mouth, suffocating you as he drags his cock along your warm velvety walls deliciously. Obviously you don’t want to get caught but right now the anticipation of what could happen is enough to make you clamp down around him, earning a hiss.

A noise that obviously catches the attention of whomever is next door to your cubicle since the unsuspecting gentleman speaks up “are you okay in there, man?” shit. It’s Ben. You feel a wave of shame wash over you as Johnny picks his pace up slowly “yeah, everything's fine” he chirps, as if he has all the time in the world to converse when he’s buried balls deep inside of you.

“If you say so” Ben responds before flushing, washing his hands and then leaving the room. Now it’s just the two of you again. Johnny takes full advantage of the alone time by pushing you right up against the wall, your cheek squished against the tiles, his calloused hands splaying across your ass cheeks now and spreading them apart. Only so he can take a good look at the way he disappears into your tight chanel with ease.

“Doing so well baby, taking this cock like a fucking pro” he grunts, wrapping his hand around your neck and pulling your head back with the help of his other hand grabbing a fistful of your hair at the scalp but keeping your whole body pressed into the wall.

Sinful moans escape your mouth and at this point you’re way past the point of caring or trying to be quiet. Unless someone walks in then you’re going to let go and revel in the feel of him. The way his body traps you in makes your clit pulsate, you love being manhandled and you always have but only by him.

Anyone that takes even so much as a look at Johnny, they think ‘player’ and they’d be right but they’d also think he’d never be the type of man to be as filthy as he is in reality. Not only has he got a foul mouth on him but he’s kinky not to mention skilful in more areas than one. Dick and tongue game on point as well as those magical digits of his and the way they dance across your sex both delicately and brutally all at the same time.

You’re certainly not complaining though. 

“Fuck, Johnny” your back arches even more so than it was before as you shakily cry out his name with the kind of want that only he can spur on “what is it baby?”

“Don’t stop, i’m so close” you whimper desperately.

His pace is now rendering on animalistic as he fucks you into the wall with such vigor, wanting nothing more than to feel you come undone all over his cock, something he’ll never grow tired of.

“Come on then baby, give it to me” he eggs you on, keeping one hand wrapped around your neck still, tightening as the seconds tick by whilst his other hand smacks down on your exposed ass cheek, making it wobble a little which earns him a satisfied hum.

The two of you go crazy with you pushing back to meet his thrusts and him spanking your ass, both of you hungry for that release.

All of a sudden though the blaring music coming from outside stops. Making you panic. Johnny on the other hand is so close to reaching his peak and he knows you are too, so he doesn’t bother to stop.

But you hear the faint laughs of the wedding guests before what sounds like the DJ addressing everyone. Fuck. This better not be the speeches. You had one planned and so did Johnny.

He continues to fuck into you, grunting, growling and panting in your ear, driving you closer and closer to that edge. You can feel the coil twisting and turning in your stomach, on the verge of snapping at any second and you don’t think you’ll be able to hold back the noises when it happens.

“Gonna make you cream all over this cock baby and best believe i’ll be filling this sweet cunt up with my cum”

You rest your hand over his around your neck as your whole body starts to shake. You clench around his cock some more and just as you can taste the orgasm, the addition of his fingers pressing down on your clit push you off the edge and your head drops back onto his shoulder. The music starts up again, allowing you to really enjoy this. Your mouth hangs open whilst you scrunch your eyes closed, seeing stars as you fall into a pit of ecstasy. You can feel your legs shaking and threatening to give way but luckily for you Johnny moves his hands to your waist, wrapping around you so he can hold you up whilst he comes close to reaching his own end.

“Fuckkkkk, squeezing me so good baby”

You do it again for good measure and sure enough, he twitches inside of you, his hot cum painting your walls just like he said and a fucked out spent smile forms on your face making him laugh when he sees.

He rides the two of you through your highs before his thrusts come to a halt and he slowly pulls out. He then grabs some tissues, dropping to his knees and pressing yet another chaste kiss to your clit this time before cleaning you up. He can see that you’re struggling to stand so the second he’s done he rises to his feet, pulling you flush against him and then proceeding to push you up against the wall.

The two of you stare deep into each others eyes for a couple seconds, both of your chests rising and falling as you try to normalise your breathing. That was certainly an adventurous, dangerous and thrilling experience, one that you won’t be rushing to partake in again anytime soon. But it was amazing to say the least. The way he’s looking at you right now makes you want to throw caution to the wind and kiss him. So you do. You crash your lips to his, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck and as expected, he kisses back. His grip tightens on your hips, pulling you even closer if that’s even possible.

“What was that for?” he asks as you come up for air and you shrug, not even sure of what it was yourself. But all you know is you like him and this isn’t just some fling to you, some form of messing around until the two of you get bored. There is a genuine connection there, one that you can’t wait to explore some more.

“I don’t even know” you giggle, pecking his lips again.

Silence falls upon the two of you before he finally blurts out “go out with me” as if he’s telling you rather than asking.

“What?” you furrow your brows in confusion.

“Go out with me, on a date”

“I thought Johnny Storm didn’t do dates” you quip back, raising your brows with a smirk to match “i don’t but i’d like to try if it’s with you” and that alone warms your heart. The same heart that’s been crushed and broken so many times before and it’s almost like he’s mending it. Not that you’re complaining.

You take no longer than a second to think before you’re agreeing and kissing him some more. That’s when the music stops and you both look at each other.

He quickly zips up his pants, doing his belt up again and shrugging his jacket back on before turning back to you. With you both now looking decent again, you get him to check your makeup, he wipes the stray bits of mascara that smudged before kissing your forehead.

He lets you leave first whilst he waits an appropriate 2 minutes before he heads out too. No one suspected a thing and now it’s time for the speeches.

This is definitely going to be a wedding to remember...

---------------------

Me and all my hoe personalities after writing this one: 

General Tags: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @dummiesshort @cevans-fics @americasass91 @toni9 @aaliferous @bradfordmyworld @thereisa8ella @kaminorogers @yassspose @randomsevans 

Just Chris & His Characters Tags: @onetwo3000 @persephonequeenofthedead @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @rynabarnesrogers @princess-evans-addict @stxvercgersslut @chris-evanslover @bval-1 @thejemersoninferno @denisemarieangelina @janeyboo @evansphnx12 @whxre4cevans

LMK if you wanna be added to my tag list...

[zhanyes]

19 days pandemic version / living together headcannons

I just want to imagine the boys living together because let’s be honest it’s going to be so chaotic but they deserve each other’s company

P.s. I know nothing about how China dealt with the pandemic so this is purely self-indulgent

- When the lockdown happened they were all at He Tian’s for a sleepover so they were forced to stay there for a few weeks until everything settled

- Mo guanshan kicked up a fuss over it but was actually just worried about his mom being left alone at home

Mo guanshan, already taking note of what to put in the pantry: “THE FUCK YOU MEAN WE’RE STAYING HERE?! NO!”

- Zheng xi is surprisingly okay with staying at He Tian’s for the time being, Jian yi says it’s because He tian has a ps5 (He’s not wrong)

-Mo Guanshan lost all respect for Zhengxi when he said “It could be fun.”

- Both Zhengxi and Guanshan’s parents agreed that they should stay for a bit just to be safe

- Jian yi is a panic buyer and with He Tian’s money they bought enough food to feed an army

- He forgot to buy necessities and Guanshan wacked his ass

Mo guanshan looking at the 9 full plastic bags of groceries: “You’re telling me OUT OF ALL OF THIS, you didn’t buy a single toothbrush?”

Jian yi, a dumbass: “I didn’t know we were having toothbrush for dinner?”

Mo guanshan brandishing a knife out of thin air: “Come ‘ere I’ll show you what's for dinner.”

- He tian is a menace in the grocery store, he’s bought about 4 pots, 2 pans, a new dish set AND knives set, 6 new mugs of different colors (Yellow for jian yi, blue for zhengxi, red for guanshan and black for him; the other two just looked nice) and a dozen of scented candles

Zheng xi, trying to keep Guanshan from committing murder in a grocery: “Why did you do this?”

He tian: “They were in sale! Buy one-take-one!”

Mo guanshan: “WHY WOULD YOU BUY 4 POTS OF THE SAME SIZE?!”

- They make it out of the store and Guanshan vows to never let jian yi and he tian do groceries

- Guanshan mostly cooks for everyone and Zhengxi helps out but jian yi is surprisingly a decent cook???

- He needs to be supervised tho because his attention span is limited to 5 seconds and he’ll forget he was boiling water

- He tian canonically can not cook. He is BANNED from the kitchen after he put sake in a pan thinking it was water

- He tian has 2 guestrooms in his apartment but he locks the other one and assigned Zhan Zhengxi and Jian yi to the other room

- Mo guanshan forces his way into Zhanyi’s room and He tian follows. That’s how all of them ended up sleeping in a single guestroom on the floor with mattresses stacked and pushed together

- Zhengxi introduces them to anime and Jian yi’s favorite genre is surprisingly action with a lot of fighting scenes and Mo guanshan (and He tian) likes slice-of-life

- He tian and Jian yi strays away from animes and movies related to the mafia and Zhengxi and Guanshan never asks, it’s an unspoken rule that those types of stuff are banned

- They have game nights because Jian yi thinks bonding is key to make their friendship last longer (and to avoid having anyone murdered)

- Every board game turns into a disaster. There’s no exception.

The boys playing monopoly:

Jian yi: “THAT WAS MINE YOU DICK! I WAS SAVING UP MONEY TO BUY IT!”

He tian: “Have you tried not being poor? No? Well that’s too bad.”

Zhengxi, is safe in jail and has the most land: “Lmao losers.”

The boys playing uno:

Mo guanshan: “Don’t do it…”

He Tian: “I’m sorry Mo this is the only way”

Mo guanshan: “No please you can find another way…”

He tian: “Goodbye, my love *puts a plus 4 down* Uno.”

Mo guanshan: *unintelligible noises of a loser* 

Playing scrabble:

Jian yi: “The fuck you mean gorjeus isn’t a word? That’s what I am.”

He tian: “You’re right, that's what you are. An absolute idiot.”

Chess:

Mo Guanshan to He tian: “You might be smart and winning but I have the power of violence and nothing is stopping me from flipping this table over.”

Word guessing game:

Jian yi: “It’s loud, annoying, depended and cries a lot.”

Zhengxi, guessing the word baby: “Is this you?��

Jian yi: “I- okay yeah that’s valid.”

- Zhengxi is very observant, he knows Jian yi well enough to know when he’s having anxieties about the pandemic, he knows when Guanshan needs some time alone, and when He tian is getting too lost in negative thoughts. He does what he can to help

- His bonding moments with Guanshan consists of listening to pop music and staying quiet

- The apartment is almost always alive and noisy, whether it’s Jian yi suggesting another game or Guanshan screaming about something, He tian takes joy in the fact that he’s with people he cares about

- He’s thankful for the noise after living in silence all alone for a long time. Jian yi knows the feeling of going home to an empty apartment and vows to visit more often with Zhengxi once this is all over (and drag Guanshan along assuming he’s not here already)

- Over time He tian smiles and laughs become a lot more genuine. Once, He tian laughed loudly at something Mo guanshan did and the only thing he can think of is, “Oh shit, happiness looks good on him.”

- Queue gay panic to Jian yi

Mo guanshan: “WHAT IS THIS?!”

Jian yi, remembering He tian doing the same thing yesterday: “Natural selection.”

- Jian yi loves all of them, really, but sometimes he feels claustrophobic from being kept inside for so long

- Zhan Zhengxi always notices, and he would sneak Jian yi up to the rooftop and they would stay there for a while so they can look at the stars, the city lights and Jian yi can breathe easier

- During those times, He tian relishes the alone time he gets with Guanshan, sometimes they talk and banter, but sometimes they just stay quiet and secretly enjoy each other’s presence (they steal glances at each other when they think the other isn’t looking)

- They grew so used to living with each other that they developed a shower schedule and Zhengxi wakes up the same time as Guanshan to help prepare breakfast

- He tian and Jian yi tends to wake up a little later and Jian yi gravitates closer for warmth so they end up cuddling until they’re forced to get up and eat

- Zhengxi takes a picture of them and sends it to their group chat

- He tian has hundreds of pictures of him and Mo, just Mo, the group, Zhengxi and Jian yi, and a lot more stolen shots that he keeps in a separate album in his phone

- He prints out his favorites, hangs them around the bedroom and frames some of them to put it in the living room. None of the other boys have the heart to take them down after seeing how happy He tian looks every time he sees the pictures

- Jian yi asks He tian to share the pictures to him too, he doesn’t print it out but he uses one of the pictures of all of them together as his lockscreen (his wallpaper is a stolen picture of him and Zhengxi He tian took when they were stargazing on the rooftop)

- When everything settles down enough for them to go home, they’re actually reluctant to go

- Still, Mo Guanshan and Zhengxi go home to their families. Jian yi stays with He tian since he knew his mom wasn’t at home anyway, at least this way they’ll both have company

- Guanshan claims (loudly) that he’s glad to get away from them but still video calls with them everyday anyway

Mo Guanshan, in the videocall for the nth time: “I’m SO GLAD. Those were the WORST weeks of my life.”

The others, hearing the same lie for the nth time: “Mhm. Whatever you say, Mo.”

- They have discord sleepovers because they all miss sleeping in the same room with each other (they never mention it but everyone knows)

- Mo Guanshan cooks meals for more than him and his mom and have it delivered to He tian’s and Zhan Zhengxi’s. When asked he claims it’s just leftovers

- Zhan Zhengxi’s body clock is fucked, he grew too used to waking up early so he just went with it and helps his mom prepare breakfast

- They all silently agree that they wouldn’t mind living with each other again in the future (again none of them ever mentions it but everyone is aware)

[sulfurousdreamscapes]

I held the dress against my clone and I watched it draped against her body. Its straight, blue lines and asymmetrical cuts made it look particularly modern. Not quite something an old woman like me would wear, but my clone would look cute in it.

"We'll get this one for you,: I said. "Other than that, I've already shown you the kind of clothes I like."

"Yes, you have. You like the darker ones, with the uncommon hemlines and long sleeves, but also..."

I waved my hand at her to quiet her. She frowned at that, which was a good sign. It's what I would've done.

"Nao lives nearby, so we're going to go drop by at her studio. It's just down the street." I checked my watch during the shopping queue. When we reached the counter, I put the clothes up and turned to my clone.

"Which card?" I asked her, showing her my debit card, two credit cards, and a membership card for a bookshop.

She picked the grey debit card. I smiled. The cashier slid the card through and then offered the card machine for me to enter the PIN on. I slid it towards my clone.

"Well?"

My clone squinted at the machine and lightly tapped her fingertip on the glass counter. The woman in the queue behind groaned. She had an impatient son with her, shifting his feet all the time.

"Don't tell me you forgot my PIN already," I said. "It's not even difficult!"

I do well under pressure, so my clone had to learn that too. She punched four digits into the machine and hit the green button. We watched the LCD screen cycle through messages before asking for the PIN again.

I sighed. "You're hopeless." Entering the correct PIN, I slid the machine back to the cashier and watched the bill get printed out.

Outside the shop, we strolled under the reddening trees while a bunch of kids raced on their bicycles on the street, and a couple of aged women sat on a stoop and high-fived each other.

"Are you feeling upset?" I asked my clone.

She looked at me. The response was even better than a verbal answer, so I grinned, and that just seemed to piss her off more.

"I would be upset too. I'm making sure you react the same way as me. I need you to think the same way as me, do you understand?"

She nodded, slowly, tiredly.

"You won't believe how much I've spent to have you made. Every detail has been accounted for. You're going to be my legacy."

This time, she looked at me as she nodded, but she didn't seem committed. I wasn't committed when I was that old either, so there was a lot I could relate with.

"After I'm gone, you'll be my name, my face, my very person. My friends, family, work, everyone will know you as me. I need you to co-operate with me. This is what you do—the same thing I do."

This time, she spoke up. "Are you a clone too?"

I frowned at her. "What a horrid question. Of course not."

She shook her head and looked away, pensive and quiet. I was like that when I was young, too. It almost made me proud to see her like that.

[libermachinae]

Night Shift

Also on AO3! Summary: Prowl and Jetfire analyze leads on a Decepticon smuggling operation, working together late into the night trying to find the missing connections. A sleep deprived slip of the tongue leads Prowl to revisiting old choices. Word Count: 2146

---

Prowl didn’t keep track of his chronometer this late in the night. Morning was inevitable, and he knew he could rely on a burst of messages from Orion to let him know when it had arrived. As such, he had no idea what hour it was when Jetfire broke through the productive silence.

“How did you come up with these predictions?” Jetfire asked. Worst of all, he was speaking with his mouth full, apparently too incensed by Prowl’s logic train to be bothered with common decency. “Every gun you’ve pulled in has been running on fumes; I’ve had to scrape the insides of the barrels just to figure out what they’re fueled on.”

The impressive thing about Jetfire was that even as a voice over the comms, he sounded like the biggest bot in the room. It wasn’t just that his voice was deep; Orion, who wasn’t that much taller than Prowl, had a voice you could feel through the floor panels. It was something about the way Jetfire talked, deliberate and straightforward, rarely stuttering even when caught off-guard. It was refreshing.

“I’ve outlined the logic process in my report. I won’t be repeating it,” Prowl said, scrolling back through his files.

“What are they teaching in the enforcer academy that reports don’t need to communicate anything?” Jetfire grumbled

It would be a reasonable estimate to say they spent 50% of these near nightly calls complaining about their targets, their coworkers, and the administration, and another 40% about each other. Prowl sat through them strictly as a matter of convenience, being a faster mode of communication than the intermittent data bursts preferred by the sanctioned enforcer agencies.

Having someone at the other end of the line also assisted the rust sticks and nucleon microcubes in staving off recharge protocols.

“It’s as I explained to Tumbler: it communicates everything I intended it to.” Ideally, very little to anyone who couldn’t have worked it out themselves. That way, the important information stayed with those who could actually use it, and the rest—

“Who’s Tumbler?”

Prowl lost his train of thought as the rest of his processor caught up to what the .5% he reserved for conversation had said. He froze, rust stick halfway to his mouth.

“No one,” he said.

“Okay.” Jetfire drew out the word. “Did he buy that line?”

No, of course not. Tumbler was always relentless about that sort of thing. His curiosity and drive could have lent to the makings of a detective or captain if he’d dedicated them more often to investigations and less on critiquing Prowl.

“He was young and failed to grasp the necessity of efficiency in our line of work.” Prowl had tried to be patient, but he’d been young too, and Tumbler was the first partner he’d had who would listen to him. Even if it was just to argue that Prowl’s opaque writing was the cause of their inefficiency.

“Hmph.”

Jetfire liked to intersperse their conversations with meaningless noises, and although Prowl needed more samples before he was certain of his explanation, he believed they meant Jetfire didn’t agree with something he’d said but was ending the discussion prematurely. It was illogical, leaving a matter unsettled for which a solution existed, but normally Prowl’s priority queues were ordered such that work came before ideological disagreements.

“What?” he asked, finally setting down the rust stick.

“You’re normally terrible with names,” Jetfire said without hesitation. “I’m just trying to imagine what a bot would have to be like to leave that much of an impression on you.”

“He was talented,” Prowl admitted.

“Do you keep in touch?”

“No.” Prowl straightened his back and flared his sensory panels, ready to move on. “It was not a practical partnership. Being together diminished our respective abilities and prevented us from fulfilling our responsibilities. It was for the betterment—”

“Hey, hold on, Prowl,” Jetfire said, his rolling voice enough to draw Prowl up short. “I know that you—but, you know what that sounds like, right?”

Prowl frowned, immediately recognizing Jetfire’s social theory tone.

“Pragmatism,” he said. “We can’t have everything we want in an ordered society. I—we did what Cybertron needed of us.”

“By disposing of a part of yourself?”

Tumbler hadn’t liked that explanation either.

“We weren’t conjunx.” And for very good reason. There were more important things in life than feelings or fleeting commitments, and it was idealists like Jetfire who—

“Just because it didn’t have a name doesn’t mean it wasn’t important.”

Prowl’s thoughts stumbled. He hadn’t expected Jetfire to say that, not because it was out of character but because he was right. That was the exact sentiment Prowl had tried to put to words maybe half a dozen times and now it was being turned on him like a spotlight.

“There are things that should never be sacrificed,” Jetfire went on. Prowl felt his silhouette thrown into sharp relief. “Things we’re worse off for letting go of.” He paused. “A while ago, I was made an offer: instant entry to the academies. No exams, no fees. Everything I’d ever wanted. In return, though, I would’ve had to give up my wings. My… sponsor, I guess, knew I had the processor for science, just not the frame. They asked for me to give up one part of myself to let the rest go free.”

Prowl shook his helm, leaning away from the speaker. Jetfire’s tone was the same one he occasionally used with Bumblebee. With Prowl, he was hard edges and warning lights. They weren’t this for each other. They didn’t do this.

“You were nearly the victim of a scam,” he said, searching blindly for familiar ground.

“I’m sure it seems that way,” Jetfire said, unperturbed. “Do you get it, though? Giving up any one piece would’ve meant tacit agreement with the Functionists, that I wasn’t fit to do my work in any form but what they prescribed. Even if I’d told myself it was for Cybertron, it really would’ve been a sacrifice in their honor, and nothing would ever be worth that.”

Prowl wasn’t entirely obtuse. He understood what Jetfire was saying, but he couldn’t afford to hear it, not with everything he had already done and the plans he had yet to set in motion. Maybe Jetfire had found a way to live that allowed him to maintain his idealistic commitments, but most mechanisms weren’t so lucky. Everyone had to give up something.

“And now you’re here, working on behalf of the Senate,” Prowl said, just to prove that point.

Jetfire made his noise again.

“Right, I forgot,” he said. Annoyed or frustrated: the usual feelings they brought out in each other. “Waste of time. Forget I said anything.”

Prowl wouldn’t, but he also wasn’t going to give Jetfire an excuse to keep pontificating.

It would have been a waste of their time, anyhow, because however sincere Jetfire was in his admission, Prowl had never understood the hypocrisy of bots who would claim to reject Functionism while maintaining an almost fanatical devotion to their frames. In some intangible sense, maybe he did enjoy the opportunity to go for a long drive, but he couldn’t imagine himself grieving his tires for their own sake. He tried to compare it to what he had felt when Tumbler had said going to Kaon was a selfish, pretentious idea and immediately recoiled.

“Results are exactly what I told you,” Jetfire said. Prowl realized he hadn’t gotten any work done in the last several kliks. “Not nearly the concentration of materials to support your theory the Decepticons have contacts in Uraya, and a few that will probably trace back to Kaon, like everything else.”

“I’d like to see for myself,” Prowl said, standing. He didn’t often get this badly distracted, and it was easy to pin it on the state of his desk: used energon cubes and wrappers from the cheap snacks he kept fueled on littered the spaces he should have been using for case notes and displays. When was the last time he’d cleaned?

“Really?” Jetfire asked. “The data’s pretty clear.”

“Humor me.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing?”

Neither said goodbye before they hung up: another of their customs.

Prowl cleared the mess into the trash. Exhaustion was nibbling at his processor like a corrosive. Another couple shots would get him through his morning meetings, and then a regular midday fueling would carry him over until he could recharge properly in the evening. Before that, though, the day had to begin, an event he discovered was closer than he’d expected when he stepped outside and saw the horizon just tilting toward the pale blue of an oncoming dawn.

The air was gentle, the pleasant cool that foreshadowed a blistering day. Jetfire was a dot over the Rodion skyline. Prowl glanced up at the few stars that could punch through the light pollution and was reminded, suddenly, of the time he and Tumbler had discussed getting a little patch of metal out on the Tungsten Moors. The barren sparkfields had felt nonetheless fertile with possibilities, and they had gotten hung up on whether it would be more practical to live in a house with two stories or just one. It had been a fantasy, nothing more; even on their joint income, it would have taken millions of years to save up. But there had been something, if not fulfilling, thrilling about it, making plans that didn’t hinge on work or promotions.

He wondered if Tumbler remembered that conversation.

Jetfire’s slow approach gave Prowl time to dwell while keeping an idle optic on his teammate. There was nothing spectacular about Jetfire’s flying: Prowl had worked with and chased down fliers who were faster, more maneuverable, and flashier in every way. But there was something resolute and sure about the way Jetfire coasted, a steadiness that Prowl would have appreciated sooner if he’d noticed it, his thoughts of Tumbler and past mistakes and pointless sacrifice sliding away as he watched Jetfire’s flight.

Jetfire’s flying was beautiful, in its own way. Its understatement reminded Prowl of his own assembly line colors, but with an underlying confidence that left Prowl feeling inadequate. Though technically strong, his power was limited to what he could siphon off Orion and their other high-level contacts. He’d experienced a taste of the real thing under Sentinel, but that had been an especially tenuous connection, liable to snap had he ever tugged too hard. Jetfire’s power was all his own. Not overwhelming, not enough to make the changes Cybertron needed. Incomparable, really, to what Prowl had wielded. But it radiated from the tips of his wings to the burn of his thrusters, self-realized, without reservation or concession.

Prowl’s tac net pinged him with the results for a problem he hadn’t realized he’d plugged in: 50% Prowl should have been strong enough to find another way, 50% choosing Tumbler would have made him stronger.

A perfect 50-50 meant his systems were badly in need of defrag. He cleared the cache and set his tac net to reboot, shaking his helm to dispel the resulting vertigo as Jetfire landed on the steps below him. Prowl waited patiently for him to complete his mode switch, taking two steps back so they would be at optic level with each other.

“Pleasant flight?” he asked.

“Wouldn’t trade it for anything,” Jetfire said with a smugness that allowed Prowl to scoff as he motioned for the datapad.

Jetfire handed it over. Prowl knew he was being watched as he powered it on and reviewed its contents, but he took his time, using Jetfire’s results to run through a few warm up calculations as his tac net came back online.

“You didn’t check for copper fluoride,” he commented.

“No,” Jetfire said slowly, “because it wasn’t one of the compounds we were investigating.”

“Run the tests again.” Prowl tried to return the datapad, but Jetfire refused to take it. “The chances we would find evidence of materials native to the Urayan region were always slim to none. However, the old blackmarket pipeline between Kaon and Yuss ran directly underneath the city. Does that make more sense?”

Prowl saw the moment Jetfire finally saw the case as he did, a knotted web of deceptions meant to dissuade even the most seasoned detective from untangling its core. Jetfire took the datapad from Prowl and stowed it, though the hard look in his optics did not waver.

“Could’ve said that from the beginning,” Jetfire griped.

Prowl didn’t bother to respond. What was done was done. Talking so much about the past was a waste of time neither of them could afford, because for all that it might have mattered, nothing they said could change any of it. All they had was the future, and the possibility of starting each day stronger than they had the one before.

[writing-with-olive]

(very) short-term goal setting tip

So by very short term goal, what I mean is more of things you want to accomplish in a given day or few hours, or the small chunks of much larger goals.

Here's the tip:

Give yourself easy outs.

"But doesn't that just make it easier to give up?"

NOPE!

Here's the thing. It can be really hard to commit to something that's big and daunting and difficult. It's a lot easier to commit to something easier.

You are far more likely to give up if you're looking at an hour of something unpleasant. But say... five minutes? You can do five minutes. And once you've finished those five minutes, well, two minutes on top of that isn't too bad might as well. And so on.

And if you do have to take one of those easy outs instead of doing the whole thing? You still made progress. You can build on that tomorrow.

Here's how I set up these little outs.

First thing to remember: they're frequent but not constant. Basically, once you get started on a stretch, you have to finish it. but the finish point is in relatively easy grasp at all times.

For example, I'm working on building up my running stamina. To do that, I run on a small loop I've set up along the street I live on. It's about a tenth of a mile, and ends like fifteen feet away from the door. Basically each time I get around, I ask myself, "can I do another?" More and more often, the answer is yes, because i'm only tacking on a tenth of a mile and then if I want I can be done and go inside.

Or, with writing, I use 4thewords.com (my referral code is S2XSR15522 if you want to sign up and try it out) where I queue up monsters to fight by writing words. If I stop writing before I finish the wordcount for that monster, then I lose the battle. I hate losing, so I keep writing. I often pick little monsters and fight a lot of them, so I can get high wordcounts, but can stop every 50-150 words or so.

Second thing to remember: each "block" should be just as easy to start and end as it is to continue. In other words, when you get to one of your outs, you should be able to end right there, or keep going, without any extra steps attached. Same with starting - when it occurs to you to do the thing, you should be able to start within a few minutes tops. This helps to reduce mental resistance because (a) you have less time to change your mind before you get started, and (b) you know that if you change your mind AFTER you get started, you can stop in short order, so there's little risk to starting.

Continuing with the running example, that loop that I mentioned starts/ends mere steps from my front door. This means as soon as I feel like running, I put on my shoes and go outside and boom, I'm doing it. And if it turns out I forgot to drink enough water or something, then after I finish that first lap, then I can come right back in and remedy that.

For writing, when I want to start, it's as easy as going to my 4thewords tab and clicking "start fight." When I'm done, I turn off auto-start, so that I only have to finish the monster I'm currently battling, and then I can switch to something else.

Third thing to remember: It can be helpful to set up outs both at good and inconvenient stopping points. This is an entirely motivational thing, but if you get to an out, but it would feel so much better to get to that point two outs later, where you get to a round number of repetitions, or passed a personal record, or whatever, then you're going to build up momentum, and possibly even surpass those points, all while being able to stop pretty much whenever as a means to keep the pressure off.

With my running, I really like it when the number of laps I do is a multiple of 3 or 5, or greater than my personal record. So if I get to an out that isn't one of those, then it's like, yes I could stop, but if I do one more, then it will be So Much Cooler.

For writing, I like getting over certain wordcounts in a day, or getting to certain plotpoints/scenes/chapters. So if I realize any one of those are close, of course I'm going to fight just a couple monsters to get to them (plus I get more loot that way - bonus!)

In conclusion...

The idea of this approach is about taking out the emotional risk of starting a project. You can go as far as you want, and quantify how far you're going, while still being able to stop whenever you need to. For me at least, that's often enough to get me to go farther than I would otherwise.

[the-wlw-cafe]

Supercorptober - Day 8: Beach

Read it on ao3 here!

The human had strong arms, a loud, unrestrained laugh and kind, blue eyes. Lena had been watching her from afar, quickly darting beneath the foam of the waves should those deep blue eyes flicker too close. She lived alone, as far as Lena could tell, in the old cottage balanced precariously on the cliff overlooking the ocean, spiting the force of its harsh waves crashing against it for generations. Other humans dropped by frequently, humans Lena presumed to be her clan as they didn’t look much alike but touched and talked with the familiarity of kin. Most of the time she  spent alone, however, standing out on the cliff by her easel, committing the facets of her home to paper. Sometimes, she’d spend hours out there, and occasionally she’d get so lost in thought hours would pass between the masterful strokes of her brush, until a sudden rain shower sent her scrambling to pack up her artwork. Her name is Kara.

Yes, Lena thought, this one will do.

She couldn’t put it off any longer. Desperation and hunger had driven her into the darker waters a day ago, where her brother’s lackeys were already out on the prowl for her. The second Lex had come to power in her clan he’d made sure to remove all those who had a claim for clan leadership, no matter how miniscule, and in his paranoia he must have put a price on her coat, as if she’d ever come back. As if there was anything there for her.

I don’t miss it, she told herself as the currents carried the tunes of singing whales to her ears, miles away, barely audible, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t!

She waited until the moon has long since dipped below the horizon, until the rest of Kara’s clan had said their goodbyes and the stench of their engines no longer lay in the air like a suffocating blanket. Then, she rose from the sea, her legs still unsure, her coat, silver and dotted in darker spots glinting in the moonlight, and made her way to the cottage. The air already burned in her lungs as she followed the path that lead to Kara’s front door, but she supposed she had ample time left to until the pain would turn debilitating enough to force her back into the water. There was still a light on in one of the rooms, and the sound of soft humming reached Lena’s ears. She was not following a particular melody, but it’s soft and domestic in a way that made Lena smile despite herself. She took one last look at the ocean, the waves crashing against the shores with such fervour that she could feel the drops land on her face whenever they reached particularly high, then she raised her hand to knock against the front door. The humming stopped in an instant, replaced with the sound of footsteps thundering down a creaky stairway before the door was wrenched open.

“Don’t tell me you forgot your keys again, Alex”, she began, only to trail off, wide eyed, when she took in Lena’s form. Her mouth opened and closed, much like an anchovy. The wind picked up with a violent howl, and Lena couldn’t suppress a shiver, the bare skin not covered by the coat loosely draped over her shoulders wet and freezing. At least the sight of Lena shivering in the night seemed to shake Kara out of her paralysis.

“Oh my gosh!” she squeaked. “Come in, you’ll freeze to death!”

The blonde reached out to her, as if to usher her inside, but changed her mind before she could touch her, her arm now awkwardly outstretched waiting for Lena to enter. Lena gave her a grateful smile and made her way inside. It was warmer there, embers glowing in the fireplace, but the air was much dryer than outside, making Lena heave and cough, her body bending under the force of it, tears springing to her eyes. Her head was spinning, she reached forward blindly to find something, anything to hold onto. A steady hand found her, held her upright, another brushing her hair back while she continued to cough. When it finally subsided, Lena looked up through wet strands of inky hair and saw worry clearly etched into the human’s face. For all the stories she’d heard about cruel humans trapping her kind and binding them to the land, this one didn’t seem like the worst choice to be stuck with.

Then again, as her history with Lex had shown, maybe Lena wasn’t the best judge of character.

“Thank you”, she croaked, her voice rough as dry sand.

“You need to get out of your wet clothes”, Kara said, still touching her back in a gesture that would have been comforting if her words hadn’t reminded Lena of what she was here to do. She could still hear the waves steadily breaking against the rocks outside, calling her back to a home she was about to forsake. She took a final breath, closed her eyes, and stepped out of her coat, making a show of draping it over the back of one of the chairs arranged around the dinner table. A choked sound from Kara caught her attention, and when Lena turned to face her she found that the human had turned around, staring pointedly at the wall.

“Right, yes”, she stuttered, “I’ll just...go and get you some of my clothes to wear. They’ll be a bit big on you, but they’re warm and dry and I’ll just...go now.”

She stumbled up the stairs, still refusing to look at Lena, and fled to what she presumed was her room. Now left to her own devices, Lena had a tentative around the room. Kara’s clan had left it quite a mess, tableware and other knick-knacks strewn around, a considerable mountain of what seemed to be leftover food piled up on the counter. It was food completely foreign to Lena, who was used to the fish and seal they hunted and the occasional plundered nest of sea-fowl should the season allow it. Yet the smell of it was so strange and enticing, and as if on queue her stomach gave a mighty growl reminding her how famished she was. Her feet had carried her towards the leftovers before she even knew it. She picked one of them up, a crispy golden-brown exterior smelling deliciously aromatic and still faintly of the sea. She took a careful nibble, and when a litany of tastes exploded across her tongue she indulged herself and took a bigger bite, then a second, and a third…

“Um”, said Kara from behind her in a high-pitched voice. Lena froze with one of the morsels halfway to her mouth, sudden panic flooding her system at the thought of how the human might react when she discovered her stealing her food, only to find Kara similarly paralysed, one hand clapped over her eyes, a deep red flush on her cheeks. “I have your clothes right here, why don’t you go ahead and change in the bathroom, it’s right down the hall.”

Lena took the neatly folded clothes from her hand, stifling a giggle at how the human stood there, eyes shut so tightly it made her nose scrunch up in a frankly adorable way, and made her way to the bathroom, suddenly self-conscious about the wet footprints she left behind. The human garments were downright flimsy compared to her heavy coat, but they were warm and dry and smelled fresh like a gust of spring wind. Lena spent a few seconds pressing them to her nose and inhaling the scent before finally putting them on.

When she returned her eyes immediately flickered over to where she’d left her coat, and she was surprised to find it still hanging there. Then again, this human probably didn’t want to be caught in the act of hiding it, waiting instead for Lena to be asleep. She found Kara sitting on a soft armchair at the fireplace, waving at her and gesturing for her to sit down at the armchair directly across. Lena did, enjoying the feeling of sinking into the plush surface.

“Here”, Kara said, pressing a steaming mug of a light brown, sweet smelling liquid into her hands, “this should warm you right up.”

Lena held the mug with both hands, pressing it close to her chest and drawing her knees up under her chin. It felt like one of the volcanic vents Lena had seen on a visit to the Deep Clans, only it could fit in her hands. At Kara’s encouraging smile, she took a small sip, eyes never leaving the human. She seemed nervous, as if preparing herself for a difficult conversation. The moment came when Lena had drank half of her mug, and Kara hesitantly asked:

“Are you...okay?”

Lena cocked her head to the side, waiting for her to elaborate.

“I mean, do you need me to call anyone? Family, friends or...oh shoot, I never even asked if you are hurt! Are you hurt? Do you want me to call an ambulance for you?”

Lena smiled, shaking her head.

“No, thank you. You’ve already been very kind to me”, she said, softly, her eyes trained on the floor in a perfect impression of the sort of naive, demure girls that got themselves caught and bound by humans in the stories she’d been told since she was a child.

Kara furrowed her brow, creating a deep crinkle on her forehead.

“Are you sure? Because I’ll help you, no matter what.”

Of course you would. Of course you’d do anything to make me stay, to give you enough time to steal my coat and hide it. The words burned on Lena’s tongue like bitter bile, but she swallowed them back down. Instead she smiled meekly, playing along.

“I’ve already imposed on you so much, and I understand if it’s too much to ask, but might I stay here for the night?”

“Of course”, Kara said. “I don’t have a guest room, but you can take my bed – I’ll take the couch, don’t worry!”

Lena finished her sweet drink to hide her scowl at how obvious the human’s attempts to separate her from her coat were.

“Thank you”, she said, putting the empty mug on the table in front of her and standing up. She just wanted to get it over with before she had another chance to change her mind.

“Wait!” Kara called after her, making Lena stop in her tracks. “If you need anything, anything at all, you can ask me, okay?” She sounded so sincere, and her impossibly blue eyes were almost pleading.

“Lena”, she answered after a short while. At Kara’s bewildered expression, she added: “If I am to stay here, you should at least know my name.”

A bright smile spread over Kara’s face in response. “It’s nice to meet you, Lena. I’m Kara.”

Lena acknowledged Kara with a nod of her head and a tired smile of her own.

“Goodnight, Kara.”

She lay awake in the soft embrace of Kara’s sheets, making as little sound as possible, listening for any rummaging, the front door opening maybe, but all she could hear was the sound of tableware being put away and eventually Kara’s quiet humming, which lulled her to sleep.

She woke to a searing pain in her chest, her lungs burning with every laboured breath she tried to force into them. She rolled off of the bed in a blind panic, the pain bringing tears to her eyes and blurring her vision. But how could that be? Why did it still hurt if she had a keeper? She stumbled down the stairs, eyes wild, darting to the chair where she’d left her coat – it was gone. Then why did it hurt so much?

Kara lay sprawled across the couch, asleep through the commotion, the fire had long since died down, and -

Ah. The chair stood there, next to the fire, in order to get it to dry faster. Lena couldn’t expend much thought to the significance of the action, as she was hit with another coughing fit, and as she pulled the hand from her mouth it came away red and wet. She grabbed her coat and stormed out of the front door, leaving it wide open behind her. Blindly she let her legs carry her towards the sound of the roiling ocean, crawling the last steps before she finally slipped beneath the water’s surface, the cool liquid filling her lungs and soothing the stabbing pain.

She found the spear in the late afternoon, wedged too tightly into a crevice in the stony reefs to have been forgotten there. Around it’s shaft a patchy brown coat lazily floated on the currents. She knew who it belonged to, Adam, a young member of her clan. She’d known him, she’d even been fond of him, which is why he now served as a warning to her. The shallows were no longer safe.

She was back at Kara’s door the same night, carrying the clothes she’d thoughtlessly taken from her house, sopping wet but neatly folded. There was no humming this time, but she could hear Kara all but sprinting to the door the second her first knock rang out. Maybe she needed further encouragement to keep her, maybe she truly hadn’t wanted to force Lena to stay against her will. She hung her coat by the door this time, next to Kara’s worn jacket. It’s yours if you want it.

“I was worried when you left before I got up last night”, Kara said, after she’d given her another change of clothes.

“I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”

The words were spoken with a tenderness so profound Lena couldn’t help but believe her.

“Do you want to join me for dinner?”, Kara asked, the hopeful upturn to her voice unmistakable. “I accidentally made way too much pasta and it would be a shame if it went to waste.”

Lena was ravenous, the shallows providing little to no food for her, especially now that she had to lay low because Lex’ hunters were constantly on the lookout for her. She gladly took place at the table where she found a plate already set for her. She was too hungry to care about how she gorged herself on the food offered to her.

“Why did you come here, Lena?”

Lena was suddenly glad she had her mouth full with human food, chewing and swallowing afforded her some time to think about her answer.

“I had a fallout with my family”, she eventually settled on. It was as close to the truth as she dared to venture. Not everyone would willingly harbour a fugitive.

“Did they kick you out?”

“Something like that.”

“Geez, Lena, I’m so sorry. That’s awful! If you want to, I can call some of my friends to see if they could help you find your feet again. I’m pretty sure Alex and Kelly are about to move in together, I bet they’ll let you sleep in the spare apartment until you find your feet.” Kara beamed at her, so excited to have found a way to help her, but the thought of being further away from the ocean made her lungs ache in protest. The demure I wouldn’t want to impose was already on Lena’s tongue, but she decided against it.

“No”, she stated firmly. “I appreciate all you’ve done, and if you want me to leave you in peace I understand, and I will honour your wishes, but this isn’t the right step for me.”

Kara sunk into herself with a sigh. “If you’re sure. And if you change your mind, you can always -”

“I am sure.” There was a certain finality to her words, and the rest of the dinner passed in a tense silence.

“Do you still want to spend the night here?” Kara asked in a small voice after she’d finished her plate.

“If you’ll still have me.” Lena wasn’t sure of it, not after her outburst. She didn’t regret it, far from it, it needed to be said. But a part of her feared that if Lena deviated too much from the script set by the cautionary tales she grew up with, Kara would no longer want to keep her. Under normal circumstances she’d have said good riddance and left it at that, not wasting a single tear on a person who didn’t want her for her authentic self, if with Kara she weren’t also ridding herself of the one chance at safety she had.

“Always”, Kara replied without a second of hesitation, reaching out to take Lena’s icy hands in her own warm palms and giving them a gentle squeeze.

She woke to the same burning pain and her coat draped over the chair by the fireplace. This time, there was a little plastic box balanced on top of it, containing bread and eggs and crispy strips of bacon that already made Lena’s mouth water, and on top of it a crude approximation of a smiling face next to the words breakfast is important. Lena was overcome with a sudden wave of affection for Kara that almost made her knees buckle, and pushed the excruciating sensation out of her mind for just a second.

She kept coming back, because where else would she go? And every time, infuriatingly so, Lena would find her coat in the exact same spot by the fireplace. She became more brazen with each night she spent in the house, going from hanging her coat next to Kara’s to stowing it away in her wardrobe to throwing it on the floor directly in front of her room, because no matter how much it pained her to see the coat, her very own fur, lying discarded in the dust, she was running out of ideas in order to make Kara notice it. In time, it started feeling less like courtesy on Kara’s part and more like rejection. And that would be fine, Lena would be fine, if Kara didn’t also do things like let her gaze flicker to her lips in conversation too many times for it to be a coincidence, if she didn’t blush a bright scarlet whenever the coat slipped off Lena’s body, and if she didn’t do such intimate things as to show Lena her art room with all her completed works. Nearly all of them were studies of the ocean, each with such attention to detail and lighting Lena almost believed she was seeing it through the eyes of someone who loved it as ardently as herself. She also caught a glimpse of some black and white drawings, detailed studies of a harsh jawline and a familiar pattern of freckles trailing down a throat. That was all she could recognize before Kara had all but thrown herself over her works in order to block them from view, rambling about them not being ready yet.  Lena would have an easier time accepting Kara’s rejection if she didn’t do things like invite her to join sister’s night.

“Not that you’re my sister, it’s just that you’re here every night, and I really like having you here, and I don’t know if you have anywhere else to go, so feel free to stop by! Alex won’t mind, in fact, she really wants to meet you after all I’ve told her about you.”

“I appreciate the invitation, I truly do, but I’d rather not”, Lena said and tried not to take the hurt look in Kara’s eyes to close to heart. She didn’t tell Kara the reason for her reluctance, as she feared it might upset her further: She didn’t know her, and she didn’t trust a stranger around her coat. Oh, is that so? A cold voice in the back of her head sneered. I thought you wanted to be bound to the land.

She knew the answer, of course, she knew it clear as day: She wasn’t Kara. And Lena wanted no-one but Kara.

She ended up crashing sister’s night anyway, but not of her own volition. It was in fact the tip of the spear that had broken off in her flesh somewhere around her hip. She was bleeding heavily and couldn’t get her hands to stop shaking to take it out, even after the actual danger had long since passed as she made it onto land to escape the hunting party of four that had found her. By the time she reached the cottage her coat was drenched in blood, and it was dripping down her bare leg. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was Kara’s overjoyed expression upon seeing Lena at the door morph into one of abject horror, then she could feel her legs giving out from beneath her.

What happened next was a blur to her, she thought she saw Kara carry her coat upstairs as her sister, Alex, all efficiency and professionalism, moved her to the couch. She remembers a searing pain as they removed the jagged tip of the spear from inside her, the horrible burn of the disinfectant and through it all Kara, holding her steady, stroking her hair and murmuring soothing words as she drifted in and out of consciousness, and long after Alex had left.

When Lena came to again, the deep cut in her side had been sown shut, and Kara was still holding her, humming gently, her lips so close to her she could feel her breath ghosting over the shell of her ear. She wanted, needed them closer.

“You can kiss me, y’know?”, she slurred, her voice thick.

The humming abruptly stopped, as did the hand playing with her hair.

“Don’t tell me you don’t want to. You have at least five separate studies of my lips hidden in your room.”

“I don’t want to take advantage of you. You’re in a vulnerable position and-”

“I want you to kiss me. Don’t make me beg, darling”, she muttered, turning to face the blonde and gritting her teeth against the sting of her wound.

Lena extended a hand and caressed Kara’s jaw as the blonde blinked rapidly, as if to wake herself up from a dream. She followed the line of her jaw to the back of her head, where her fingers splayed in blonde tresses and pulled her down, down to her lips.

Kara kissed her impossibly, almost frustratingly gently, her strong hands holding her as softly as a baby bird, as if she would break if she applied the slightest amount of force. Eventually, when she had to break away for air, her lips trailed over her jaw, to her cheeks, to the shell of her ear and down her neck as she seemed to be possessed by the need to kiss every inch of Lena’s skin that was in reach. It was only when Lena felt the wetness drip against her collarbone when she realized that Kara was crying.

“I wish you didn’t have to go”, she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

Lena cupped her cheeks with both her hands, inclining her head upwards, forcing teary blue eyes to meet her green ones.

“It’s up to you, my darling.”

“But it isn’t!” Kara cried out, immediately quieting down after her outburst, placing an apologetic kiss on the freckle on her throat. Lena wanted to grab her shoulders then, to shake some sense into her, but she was so, so tired, and the world was rapidly fading to black.

She found a cave system near the cottage which only flooded during the high tide, leaving her with just enough stale water over the day as to not suffocate. It should buy her at least a few more days of time.

Eventually, they would find her. It was only a matter of when.

“Your coat is so soft”, Kara breathed, her voice awed as her fingers traced through the soft fur. She swallowed.

“May I take it off?”

“Gods, yes, finally!” Lena hissed, prompting a chuckle from Kara.

“Be patient”, she laughed. “I want to take my time with this.”

She was tortuously thorough in her exploration, pushing the coat of her shoulders inch by agonizing inch and trailing hot kisses on Lena’s icy skin whenever more was revealed, until it finally slid to the ground and Kara bent down to pick it up. Lena closed her eyes. If she opened them again and the coat was out of her direct line of sight she’d consider it hidden, she just wanted Kara to keep her, why wouldn’t she just keep her?

“Lena, look!” Kara exclaimed, and out of instinct Lena opened her eyes again.

“Our coats are spooning!” Kara gushed, pointing to Lena’s coat which she had draped over the old grey sweater jacket she wore around the house on her desk chair, grinning proudly. Lena just glared at her, and grabbed her stupid muscular shoulders to crash her stupid pretty lips into hers, pulling her onto the stupid bed.

As Lena drearily watched the crabs scuttle over the algae-covered rocks in her cave she cursed her stupid heart for loving a person who didn’t want to keep her.

The next night, Kara barely made it through hello before Lena had slipped off her coat and pushed it against her chest.

“Take it!” she growled.

“Lena, I don’t-”

“Are you just going to string me along forever?” she accused, hating the way tears were already welling up in her eyes.

“You’ll kiss me, you’ll fuck me, you’ll tell me you love me but you won’t keep me! So just take my coat and hide it and bind me to you!”

“Oh, Lena”, Kara breathed, a barrage of emotions flickering across her face within seconds: confusion, hurt, concern, and something Lena didn’t dare name love, no matter what Kara promised her. “Lena, I’d never force you to stay.”

“But I want you to!”

“No!”

It was the first time Kara had shouted at her. She’d become exasperated, sure, but she’d never tried to shout her down. Instinctively, Lena flinched backwards. Kara’s eyes widened in shock.

“I’m sorry”, she said, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. But I don’t know how to make you see that I can’t take your coat, I can’t take your choice away. If you want to leave, if it is now, or tomorrow, or fifteen years from now, it’s your decision. And if you want to stay, it’s your decision as well. I will never take it away from you. You have to be the one to make that choice.”

“But I want to stay! I want to live here with you, looking out over the ocean, I want to spend lazy mornings with you and doze in the sun on the three days of the year it actually shines, and I want you to introduce me to your people and I want to utterly embarrass them and you and probably myself to by being as sickeningly in love as I am with you, I want to stay with you until we’re old and grey and this whole cliff finally crumbles into the ocean!”

The words had come spilling out of her like a flash flood, and she had to take a deep breath at the end of her speech. She was properly crying now, but she also felt better than before, lighter, as if a weight had been lifted of her chest, an actual, physical weight. She took another breath and then there was clarity, so sudden and intense she had to sit down: It didn’t hurt. The constant ache that had accompanied her every breath on land had faded into nothingness.

“Kara”, she breathed, and as the blonde bent down to take her hand her skin didn’t feel almost scalding in contrast to Lena’s icy cold skin anymore, just pleasant warmth on warmth.

“Kara...I’m staying. I’ve made my choice, and I’m staying with you.”

Lena’s coat now hangs next to the door again, ready to be taken should Lena ever so desire. It’s been years now, decades even, and she’d never even entertained the thought for a second, bit every now and then her eyes flicker over to it, and every time it reminds her:

She made the right choice.

[archadianskies]

Whumptober Day 20

Lost  → excerpt from ch4 of the RK-YK500s (After a sudden mysterious autoimmune illness befalls the RK series, they are temporarily housed in YK500 units while a cure is found.)

Whumptober Masterlist | 20/31 of RK900 short stories

↳ on Ao3

Tags: Age Regression/De-Aging × Kid Fic ×Post-Pacifist Best Ending × Hurt/Comfort × Father-Son Relationship × Gavin Reed Being an Asshole 

Ronan sits in the front seat of Detective Reed’s car and looks out the window as they leave the apartment complex. It’s starting to lighten up outside, the sun finally starting to fill the city and banish the dark of night. It snowed all last night and everything is buried under a blanket of white. He thinks it’s very pretty.

“Come on.” Detective Reed jerks his head as he parks the car at Starbucks. Ronan unclasps his seatbelt and opens the door, shoes crunching in the snow as he hurries after him. A blast of warm air hits him as they enter the cafe, and he sticks close to Detective Reed’s side as the man joins the queue for the counter. 

“Aww Reed who’s this little guy?” The barista grins down at him. “D’you want a hot chocolate? Hot milk?”

“No thank you, I’ve had my breakfast.” Ronan answers, and the barista laughs delightedly. 

“I’m just stuck with him for a while.” Detective Reed rolls his eyes. “I’ll get the usual but make it a venti. Fuckin’ briefing at work this morning.”

“Hey, language!” They chide, and Ronan’s not sure why. He knows what expletives are and how they’re used for extra emphasis. They wait at the other end of the counter for Detective Reed’s coffee, and once acquired, they head back to the car. 

“Ah shit!” He curses just as he’s about to unlock the vehicle. “Fuck! I left it on the- ah shit.” Turning to him, he points down the road. “Ok listen I have to go home and grab something. Precinct’s that way, you might as well head over while I go back.”

“You want me to walk to Central Station?” Ronan blinks, frowning as he sets the objective. 

“It’s like ten minutes walk that way, c’mon, we’ve done this a million times now.” Detective Reed unlocks the car and gets into the driver’s seat. “Tell the Captain I’ll be right there. I won’t be long.” He shuts the door and backs out of the customer parking bay and Ronan is alone.

He knows where Detroit City Police Central Station is: 1301 3rd Avenue, Detroit. It is, on average, about a ten minute walk from his current location. It is not a difficult objective to complete only Ronan’s unsure why Detective Reed said they’d done it a million times now which can’t be possible because Ronan doesn’t remember ever coming here. Well. He can do this. Calculating the route isn’t so hard when he puts in the starting location as the Starbucks address and the destination as Central Station. Ten minutes walk and then he will have achieved his objection. It’s not so hard! Is it? 

He feels his stress levels starting to rise and he doesn’t know why because there shouldn’t be anything to stress him out.  More and more citizens are out and about; there’s a lot of people and some of them are looking at him as he walks down the street. Down this street and then turn left at the end. Easy. Only...it’s not? And he doesn’t know why it should be easy but isn’t. He clenches his hands and it feels wrong not to have Connor to hold onto, or even Hank. It feels lonely and scary and Detective Reed isn’t here and there’s no one he knows and there’s no one to hold onto and-! His face is wet and he can’t breathe properly and his stress levels are climbing higher and higher and he wants Connor! He wants Connor to hold his hand! Or Hank! Everything is too loud and big and scary and Ronan hates it, he hates it, he wants to be inside with The Void and his aeroplane pyjamas that are soft and warm and he doesn’t want to be out here alone!

“Hey are you okay?” A woman asks him gently and Ronan looks up at her and can’t see her face properly because his eyes are wet. “Oh sweetheart, where are your parents?”

“C-c-” he hiccups and tries again. “Central Station!”

“Central-” she pauses, then nods. “The police station! Did your parents teach you that for when you get lost? What a clever boy you are.” She’s dressed like a businesswoman with a long coat, and she removes her scarf to wrap it around his neck. “Come on, I’ll take you there.”

It doesn’t feel like ten minutes, it doesn’t feel easy, it feels so long and horrible and Ronan cries and rubs his eyes and tries not to be so loud because a nice lady is going out of her way to help him complete a stupidly simple objective. She coos at him sympathetically, squeezing his hand and rubbing it with her thumb and reassuring him that it’s alright, it’s just up ahead. 

*~*~*

Hank scratches his beard and glances at his phone again. Reed’s late. At least he had the good grace to tell someone he’s running late, so Hank can’t really fault him for that. He glances over to where Connor is sitting in his usual chair, sipping on one of those android caprisuns. He let him choose what he wanted to wear today, and the boy chose a white turtleneck with a denim jacket lined in shearling. He even tied one set of shoelaces all by himself after Hank tied the other one. Hank manages to resist reaching over to muss his curls, but only just.

“Sorry, sorry! Forgot my fucking badge on the counter.” Reed announces as he hurries through the security gates, coffee in hand. “Figured I’d need it if we’re questioning people.” 

“Alright, come on.” Jeffrey waves them over. “About time.”

“Where’s Ronan?” Hank looks behind him, expecting to see the boy toddle in like a duckling. 

“Oh, he’s not here yet?” Reed looks at his desk. “Huh.”

“...Why would he be here?” Hank asks slowly, and a nauseous wave roils in his stomach as Reed shrugs. 

“Because I sent him here?” Reed answers matter of factly. “Precinct’s what, a ten minute walk from Starbucks? I thought it’d be better if he headed here while I doubled back.”

There’s an uncomfortable beat of silence and Hank’s own face of horror is mirrored by everyone else in the bullpen. 

“You left a fucking child-”

“Reed why the fuck-”

“Gavin he’s six-”

Everyone erupts all at once and Hank reaches him first, and Reed’s lucky he put his coffee down a second before Hank grabs him by the lapels and gives him a violent shake.

“I’m going to fucking skin you alive Gavin Reed, you absolutely fucking fuckwit!” He bellows, and the murder must be in his eyes because Reed looks like he’s about to turn tail and bolt.

“Why are you making a big deal over this he’s a fucking android!”

“He’s a six year old android!” Hank yells, shaking him again. “You left him on the street! All by himself! Would you leave a child out on their own in public?!”

“But he’s an android why couldn’t he have made it back on his own?!”

“Because he’s a six year old android!” Hank slams him against one of the boards, pure rage in his veins. “You better get the fuck out of this office and find that boy or so help me god Gavin Reed I will end you!”

“Lieutenant, if I may.” It’s Beth, one of the android receptionists. She waves him over. “A kind citizen just dropped Ronan off. He’s with Stephanie right now.”

He drops Gavin and rushes to reception, and there’s Stephanie crouched under her desk comforting a crying Ronan and Hank’s anger vanishes in an instant. He shrugs off his jacket and drops to one knee to wrap it around Ronan, gathering the boy into his arms.

“I didn’t complete my objective! I couldn’t do it!” The boy cries into his shoulder, little body wracked with sobs. “I’m meant to do it by myself!”

“It’s okay kiddo, no one’s mad, no one’s mad I promise.” Hank hushes him, rubbing his back as he squeezes him close. “It’s okay, you’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“I didn’t complete my mission!” Ronan hiccups, clinging to Hank like a lifeline and Hank makes a mental note to skin Gavin with a butterknife later. “Detective Reed told me-”

“Detective Reed is a-” deep breath, sharp inhale. “-unused to caring for YK500s. He gave you a mission meant for older androids, not little children.”

“But it was easy, he said-”

“It doesn’t matter what he said.” Hank spits, and the boy stiffens in his hold. He sighs heavily and presses a kiss into his hair before he can stop himself. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re here, and you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry.” Ronan mumbles, and Hank pulls away just far enough he can look him in the eyes.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Ronan, do you understand?” He wipes the boy’s tears away with his thumb. “You’ve done nothing wrong, absolutely nothing.”

Swallowing thickly, the boy sniffles back the last of his tears and manages a nod. He rubs his eyes before leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Hank’s neck again. 

“There there, I’ve got you kiddo.” He soothes, standing up and simply carrying him into the bullpen. He avoids looking at Reed because he knows the moment he lays eyes on him he’ll fly into a fit of rage and murder may be committed. “I have to go and talk to Captain Fowler and do some work, but Connor will be right here with you.”

He glances over and Tina quickly wheels Ronan’s chair over to Connor’s desk, and Hank gently lowers the boy to sit. Reluctantly untangling his hold on him, Hank smoothes the boy’s hair back and thumbs away the last of his errant tears.

“Connor, you’ll look after your brother won’t you?”

“Yes Hank!” Connor nods eagerly, already reaching across to hold his hand. Ronan’s lower lip trembles for a moment, before he steels himself and squeezes Connor’s hand. “Ronan, you must replenish your fluids! Here, have one of mine.” With his other hand, Connor plucks out another pouch from his backpack propped on his desk. “I’m going to let go so I can put the straw in, okay?”

“Okay.” Ronan sniffles as he nods, and Connor pokes the straw into the pouch before offering it to his brother. 

“Here you go.” Ronan takes it with one hand and seeks Connor’s hand with his other, big grey eyes still glassy with barely restrained tears. Leaning over, Hank gives them both a kiss to the crown of their heads, nosey colleagues be damned before following Tina into Fowler’s office.

[ohnoyoonoh]

PREVIEW of PHILIA & EROS

author -; @ohnoyoonoh​

genre. au -; highschool au, based on/inspired by the movie. the half of it. coming of age.

pairing -; lee jeno x oc, huang renjun x oc, jeno x oc x renjun, renjun x jeno (ish)

synopsis -; a story of where someone asks a writer to write them a love letter for the girl they like except the writer likes this girl, too. it's an adventure of lessons in friendship and first love with renjun, jeno, and hwayoung in the town of dalgleish, oregon.

author’s note -; sneak peek into my upcoming story with jeno and renjun. i was actually very passionate in this story. this is the first story in a while that will be tagged with networks, yayyy lol lmk if you wanna be part of the taglist

warnings -; love triangle, strong language, minor bullying, whole story includes touches on sexuality, touches on sex but not committed, underage drinking and drug use, mention of minor character death (renjun’s mom), kissing, long ass story lemme tell you that

word count -; (preview) 4.8k and it’s only the beginning

Love. Love certainly comes in different forms. According to C.S. Lewis, there are four types that people focus on: Storge, Philia, Eros, and Agape. Omitting agape as many do not believe in the Christian faith, the other three simply play a role in everyone’s upbringing whether they notice the existence of these loves in their life or not. Following the words of Lewis, we would be obliged to love every single day without a choice whether it’s to us or seeing it with others. We see love wherever we go. But in this society, do we really know what love is? Love is not as straightforward as we thought it would be unlike adding and subtracting in math. Love is strange but whatever the perspective by the person, it could also be the most beautiful thing in the world.

And that is not how you write a world-class essay to make you pass an honors class.

Huang Renjun began to press the backspace of the conclusion to the last essay he needed to write for the English class. It wasn’t his essay that he was writing but one that was in his queue of his homework services. The list was stacked with requests of the take on C.S. Lewis’s Four Loves for Mrs. Lee’s Junior English Honors class, but the teacher could care less that the students cheated in the class in the peewee town of Dalgleish in the state of Oregon.

Dalgleish didn’t have much except for the Pretty Douglas Fir trees decorated around the boundaries of the town. It was fitting as the Dalgleish basically meant green field. There weren’t many open fields but looking at the town from above, the amount of trees make it look like a green space. That was one of the things that Renjun enjoyed seeing, the nature that the town offered. It was calming, least to say. Losing himself into the natura was a good getaway from the extensive labor he needed to do to support him and his family. His family consisted of his father and younger sister, Mei. His mother passed away due to breast cancer when Renjun was thirteen and Mei was ten.

That was the reason why he started his business of the homework services, but it also extended into adding more part time jobs to continue a decent salary for a high school student. His father never asked him to do any of these jobs because he never wanted to overwork Rejnun and his sister during high school. He wanted to make sure that they could focus primarily on their school work and occasional side jobs to include in their résumés and transcripts. Though due to the passing of his wife, he wasn’t able to commit to his computer science career and waived off the successful path to enter a minimum wage job.

Renjun understood the reason for his father’s lack of working, which is why he stepped up a little more than a teenager should carry on their shoulders. He loved his family too much to not do so. Which is why, he was checking off the list of names on his queue for the homework that needed to be handed that day.

Zhong Chenle

Eleanor Lee

Amie Quill

Wong Yukhei

Eugene Mills and the list going on.

He calculated the amount that was due and the total, making sure that no one paid him less. He didn’t mind if someone paid more, as it would be beneficial to any extra expenses that needed to be paid off. “$20 per essay, mm.. $200. That should be enough to cover the water bill and the groceries.”

Mei nodded, writing the total on the sticky notes that littered all over the mirrored wall. The wall full of sticky notes for the week logging any needed tasks to be finished. Wherever there weren’t any sticky notes were old pictures of the family and memories in their upbringing or new polaroid pictures of Renjun and Mei. It was a nice reminder of the moments that were captured in the midst of the hard every days.

“Hey, uh, Renjun, I was wondering if I could go to homecoming?” Mei questioned, breaking the silence as Renjun revised the to-do lists while editing his own essay. He forgot to do so since the amount of requests to do their homework was unbelievable. The only downside of the homework service was that everyone requests last minute. “Renjun.”

“Sorry, I forgot to do my homework,” he snapped his head up, letting his sister know that she had his undivided attention. Mostly. “Uh, what did you ask?”

“I was just asking if I could go to homecoming, I’ll even work extra hours to pay for my dress. I’ll even pick up some of the homework in your requests,” Mei pleaded, not verbally but through her eyes. Renjun stared at her, wondering if she was serious. It wasn’t uncommon for freshmen to attend high school events, especially someone like his sister. Mei was and still is the type of person to enjoy the events that school offers. It was the perfect opportunity to spend time with her friends and escape the hours of working. That was what Renjun recalled during their late night talks as they pleated the dumplings for their lunches for the rest of the week.

“Renjun, stop spacing out,” Mei shook his shoulder, seeing if it would wake him up out of his trance.

“Uh, yeah yeah. You can help me with some of the homework and take over my shift for the next two days at the library, is that okay?” Renjun offered. He knew he would have felt bad if he said no. Knowing his sister, she would either give up on working and not get a new dress, or give up working and not going to homecoming all together.

Mei agreed, nodding her head profusely and quickly embracing her brother. Renjun stood there, reluctantly wrapping his arms around her. Mei rarely showed affection to him which is why he seemed so surprised at the actions. Nonetheless, he appreciated the love. God. Love. Love. Love. His essay. His eyes widened, releasing from the grasp of his sister, “Crap, I need to finish the last paragraph of my essay.”

The sound of the alarm ringing through the kitchen, notifying the Huang siblings that it was time for them to head to school. Renjun groaned, wanting to bang his head against the wall. He shoved the folder with the homeworks that he finished inside of his backpack while tossing Mei her lunch. He grabbed the pen that hung off of the wall, checking off the sticky note that was made a week before to remind him of the work to do. Renjun rechecked everything once more to be certain that he hadn’t skipped over anything. Assuring himself that he didn’t miss anything, he grabbed the keys of his dad’s car and made his way out the door. Before exiting the house, his dad seemed to be missing from his usual spot on the couch but knew he was home due to his shoes still at the door.

“Mei, is dad still home?” Renjun questioned as he sat on the floor to put his shoes on. Mei turned around to face her brother and nodded, “He’s taking a shower and already made his food.”

Renjun nodded, slinging his backpack over his shoulders to adjust the straps as he wore it, “Are you ready to go?”

“I’ve been ready, I don’t know about you,” Mei sarcastically retorted. Renjun scoffed, standing up and opening the door to allow his sister to go out first. As they walked outside to get to the car, Renjun playfully kicked her leg causing her to quickly turn around to punch him. He quickly ran to the car to escape her wrath.

“Alright, I’ll see you later. Don’t forget your shift at the library,” the male informed his sister as they both entered the school. Mei groaned but nodded, saying goodbye to her brother as she parted ways to join her friends. Now, Renjun was stuck to being a high class loner for the rest of the day. He never made any friends, well ones that didn’t last long. Though he was content with that. It was better than having ones that would backstab you or talk behind your back. For being a small town, Dalgleish didn’t have much to offer with people. So, people created their own drama. Luckily in all of the Huang siblings’ time in Dalgleish, they never had any mentions of being in drama. They only were the butt of the joke of their low-class dad, but Mei and Renjun never paid attention, so the joke died before it was even alive. That belonged to the top of the hierarchy in their school. But, Renjun could care less about them and rather focused on his studies and jobs.

“Here is yours and Chenle’s homework,” Renjun flipped through the countless essays in the folder, handing Lucas the needed homework.

“Ahh, thanks, let me send you the money now. I’m also paying for Chenle’s, just in case you wonder why there’s extra,” Lucas pulled his phone out to send the money through the Venmo app.

Feeling his phone buzz, Renjun took his phone out to check that the amount was correct. Confirming that it was right, well it was actually over. Chenle and Lucas were always kind enough to pay extra. They always said it was just for the hard work that he gives since they were his first customers and the growth of the services. “Thanks, Lucas.”

Lucas smiled before heading his way for his class. After he left, Renjun continued to make his way to all of the students that needed their work for the day. He scheduled different locations and times around the school to make sure that his contraband work wasn’t known to the faculty of the school. The only one who knew was their English and Physics teachers. Mrs. Lee and Dr. Jean.

Mrs. Lee immediately knew that the essays by the students in her class weren’t written that perfectly. The growth from one essay to another seemed to be developed overnight. Not trying to question her students, they were bright but most that had the perfect scored work weren’t the brightest. Knowing this, Mrs. Lee found out after give and take, she realized that the work was by Renjun. To let him know that she knew, she asked to conference with him after class. The only thing that Renjun grasped from the conversation is that she blatantly called her students stupid when it came to essays. Renjun agreed but defended them that they were smart in other areas and needed to strengthen their levels in the writing department.

And for Dr. Jean, he just didn’t care.

“So, who’d you write for this time? I just don’t wanna read the essays to waste my time to give them A’s,” Mrs. Lee sat in her chair, sipping on her cup of coffee as she watched Renjun pack his stuff up so he could attend his next class.

He dismissed his teacher’s comment, placing his essay on her desk, “I’ll give you a list later. Oh, I also need a recommendation from my favorite teacher.” He smiled, setting a blank recommendation letter for the college he’s applying to on her desk.

He watched her scan over the document, only for her face to scrunch up in disgust. He reflected her expression with his own face, confused as to why she looked repulsed, “What is it now?”

“I don’t know, you could have chosen a better school with your grades and get in,” she tossed the paper into her neat stack before grabbing the essays and shelving it.

Renjun shrugged, knowing that the reason is that he was afraid to leave his sister and dad. More so, his sister. He didn’t want to leave all of the responsibilities to his sister. To delve even farther, the responsibility of taking care of their father. He wasn’t sure if Mei was ready to do it. A lot of people may wonder why he even thinks of his father, but his dad was still family. Their dad may not be in the best state and not pulling his weight as the head of the family, but he still worked every so often. Their dad was lucky enough to be friends with the owner of his job, and the owner understood the hardships that he was going through. The consequence of his lack in effort fell on his children.

“I just think it would be better if you attend some other college, maybe, I don’t know,” Mrs. Lee retrieved another document on a clipboard, handing it to him.

He grabbed the clipboard, wondering what it was. An application to University of Oregon. He laughed, tearing his eyes away from it to look out the window. She’s still trying to do this. He gave the clipboard back, “I can’t go to this university. It’s not even that good.”

“It was good to me,” Mrs. Lee gave him a hall pass on a sticky note before waving him off to allow him to get to his next class.

“Well, I’m passing and staying in the best town in the world,” he waved as he walked out of the class.

Renjun pondered on the idea of leaving Dalgleish, but would it be the right decision. Everything he needed was right here. There could be a great job opportunity when he graduates from the community college. Well somewhere and that somewhere is not in Dalgleish. He was going to have to move out of the town one way or another if he wanted to pursue his dream of becoming a computer scientist. Maybe, he could find a way to come back to Dalgleish, opening a company would be beneficial. That was settled on a maybe. For now, all he needed to do was pass junior year and move onto senior year.

Making his way inside of the physics classroom, he showed the pass to Dr. Jean, only for it to be dismissed. He took his seat next to the window in the back. With the lack of care that his teacher had in the class, Renjun worked on the next requests of his services.

“Renjun, you’re working with Isabelle,” his teacher declared. Renjun picked up his head so fast, wondering as to why there’s suddenly a project. He was always informed beforehand in the beginning of the semester of what’s to come, but he came to realize Dr. Jean was the best teacher at coming up with random projects. Renjun just nodded, clearing his backpack from the chair next to him allowing Isabelle to sit it in.

Isabelle gave him a head bow, greeting him, ��Hi. I’m Isabelle but you could just call me Hwayoung. You probably already knew that. I can’t believe Dr. Jean still calls me Isabelle, probably because he can’t pronounce half of our names.”

Renjun chuckled, shutting his computer off to place back in his backpack. He picked two of the copies of the paper before tossing the extra copies inside of the extra copy bucket that was behind him. He handed the paper to Hwayoung before reading the document. Seeing it was the project, his mouth contorted to a form of disappointment in finding the surprise assignment. The project didn’t even have anything to do with physics but basically getting to know your partner and put it in a PowerPoint. He didn’t know if he wanted to cry or laugh. He glanced in Hwayoung’s direction: Pretty. Pretty. Popular.

Choi Hwayoung. The ideal girl that anyone could ask for. She was nice and smart. She was one of the pretty girls of the school, and everyone knew that. Renjun liked her when he joined the Model UN team, and she was also on it. He thought that she was also smart when she stood her ground during the time of Model UN. He wished he could have stayed longer as he enjoyed it, but his sister wasn’t all that capable when he had to leave for a competition once. Despite thinking the basic reasons for him liking her, he liked how she smiled and her dimples just protruded. Her eyes were full of life when debating. How she spun her pen between her fingers when she was in focus. Renjun, tone your feelings down.

Now, he wasn’t sure if he still liked her due to the lack of attention he gave his own feelings.

“Oh right, my name is Renjun,” he whispered as Dr. Jean ranted on another go of the conspiracy theories of the Illuminati and Beyoncé . His teacher always made the time in class go by faster or slower depending on how dedicated he is to the conspiracy topic. Some were more interesting than others. He looked over to her writing, “I think you knew that already.”

“Yeah, I did. You were on the Model UN team but left, you were really good at what you did,” Hwayoung complimented him. He smiled, nodding as his way of accepting the praise.

The small talk ceased as the bell rang for dismissal, he collected his items and shoved them into his backpack. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, “I’ll do the project and turn it in when it’s finished.”

“But this is a two person project. I am not asking for your homework service to come in play here,” Hwayoung turned to look at him. “Maybe, we could just actually do it together. Unless you don’t want to because you’re uncomfortable to do that which then do the project by yourself, just text me if you need anything.”

With that, she smiled and left. Renjun watched her leave the classroom. That was a first. Typically any project with partners left Renjun to do the work all by himself, which he didn’t mind. Most complain that they had to do it by themselves, but he enjoyed the easy A without the others messing it up.

The final school bell rang, but Renjun was already in the car, waiting for his sister. He hummed to the music, tapping to the tunes of Ariana Grande’s Dangerous Woman album. His head turned to the door opening, and his sister joined him in the car already singing the song. Renjun turned down the volume, “Ready?”

She nodded while buckling up her seatbelt. Renjun placed the car in reverse, only for a student to be waving a paper trying to get his attention. He wasn’t paying attention, trying to get Mei to work on time was his priority.

As he continued to reverse the car, he still hadn’t noticed the student until Mei tugged on his jacket. He slammed on the breaks, finally seeing the student waving the paper around in the rear-view mirror. He almost ran over him. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to come to a compromise in his head that he almost committed homicide by accident, “What the hell?”

The male student walked around from the rear of the car before going around to the driver’s side. He knocked on Renjun’s window before Renjun rolled the window, “Why were you in my way?”

“You almost killed me. Shouldn’t you feel a little empathetic?” The student smiled with a teasing tone in his voice.

“If you have nothing important, I will be going now,” Renjun put the car in drive, starting to press on the acceleration pedal. He still wanted to know what the student wanted, but it was probably just another order for homework help. “If you want me to do your homework, find my number and text me.”

“I want you to help me write a love letter. I read your essay for Lucas, and it was really good,” the student requested, holding the note out. Renjun slammed on the brakes once again, but this time, Mei slapped her brother in the shoulder for the discomfort of their backs hitting the seats so harshly. He looked at her with an apologetic expression before his gaze turned back to the student.

The student held the note at the window, which Renjun started to read.

Dear Choi Hwayoung.

The first three words were enough for Renjun to decide if he was going to help this fool or not. He shoved the letter back into the hands of the requester, “Nope, I’m not writing a love letter to Hwayo- to her.”

“Oh, to who?” Mei pitched in. Love always made people curious, well more nosy. Then, the ideas of who ends up with who just turned into a big mess. Renjun certainly didn’t want to help someone out that wanted to create a love letter. Plus if he was the recipient of a love letter, he hoped it wasn’t made by someone that didn’t have feelings for the person. Or in Renjun’s case, written by the person’s personal feelings. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be genuine. Artificial. Unauthentic. Fake. Love isn’t supposed to be any of those things if a person wants to make it work.

“No one, Mei.” Renjun answered before he turned back to the student, “Have a good day.” He rolled the windows back up and continued to drive away to his priority. He looked in the mirror once more to find the student sulking with his head down. He chuckled. That’s so pathetic.

“Hey, you could have totally picked that request up. That was Lee Jeno,” Mei tapped away on her phone as she informed him of who the student was. Renjun scoffed, but he also was unsure why the name of the student is relevant. Customers are customers. There’s no needed relationship as it’s based on monetary and satisfaction of getting work done. Mei looked at her brother who stayed silent, and she was sure that he had no clue who Jeno was. She raised her eyebrow, “Do you not know who Lee Jeno is?”

“Do I care? Mm.. Not really,” he didn’t really care about who Jeno was. He rarely cared about any of the people in the school, as they weren’t his business. He wanted to stay out of anyone’s mouths as much as possible. Renjun thought of who Jeno was because he did sound familiar. They lived in a small town, so everyone knew most of each other. Dalgleish compromised mostly of East Asians, but nonetheless it still had a good variety of other ethnicities. It shouldn’t be hard to think of who Jeno was. Ah, he’s the boy who used to live four houses down when they were younger before the downfall of the Huangs came about. Jeno would try to invite them to play often with the other kids in the neighborhood, but Renjun was shy at the time, and Mei wasn’t the one who enjoyed company. Though that did start to change as they grew older. Renjun wasn’t shy, just liked to keep to himself to stay out of trouble, and Mei enjoys the energy with people.

“Jeno is the star student of the school, more like the perfect Asian kid. He plays the violin, ping-pong captain, forward for soccer, and is part of A Honor Roll,” Mei listed all of the things that Jeno specialized in. Renjun listened but wasn’t in awe of the achievements that Jeno had. Most of the kids in the school participated in those activities, differing in sports and academics. Everyone had their own skill set to show off, which made Jeno not any different from the student body.

“Okay, what does that have to do with me?” Renjun questioned, stopping at the red light. He wasn’t sure what his sister was making in her brain. She was most likely going to lose track of where she was heading to prove a point.

“Plus, he banks and his parents have this IT company in California. So if you help him, he could probably get you to return in favor by getting you an internship,” Mei added onto her tracks. She sure did make a point. That was a first. Renjun surely could land a job if he gets an internship, but he didn’t want to use someone like that. He wanted to do it on his own.

“Yeah, no. I refuse to do that,” Renjun pressed his foot down on the gas pedal, accelerating the car as the light switched to green.

“How come? It’s a good opportunity, I’m just saying,” Mei said as she shuffled around in her seat, adjusting her jacket.

“Well, I don’t want to use someone like that. I want to get there on my own, no matter how hard it is. I have a plan to get there,” Renjun answered. He arranged his future’s timeline, coming up with the desired plan. He thought of Plan B, just in case the first one didn’t work. Then, he had his safety plans just in case nothing of his wants couldn’t come to reality.

Mei answered with a hum. Renjun was glad that she didn’t continue the conversation. He parked next to the curb in front of the library and turned off the engine. He decided to study at the library. He didn’t have much to do today other than making dinner and finishing the rest of the requests that he didn’t assign to his sister. Plus, the library offered free food and beverages to their workers. And, who doesn’t like free food?

“Your shift ends at 7, which is perfect. I’ll be in my usual section, working and studying if you need anything,” Renjun said as he left his sister as they entered the downtown library. He walked towards the Japanese literature section, quietly greeting some of the regular goers that he recognized. Living in Dalgleish, he picked up quite a few languages. He was surrounded by multiple ethnicities who differed in languages and to benefit the elderly who weren’t comfortable using English, he thought it would be nice to learn their native language. Plus, there were foreigners who came frequently to visit the town. It was like a tourist attraction, sometimes. Even if there wasn’t anything to see in the town.

Renjun was only fluent in Mandarin Chinese and Korean, but he was conversational in other languages like Cantonese and Japanese. He tried to make the effort, plus his world geography class had an extra credit opportunity to explore languages. Despite not seeming to be a people person at school, Renjun was able to converse easily with others when he was out and about. He often got teased by his sister for it because he always said he was not a people person.

He placed his belongings on the ground, unpacking his laptop, and plugging the charger in the outlet to refuel the laptop’s battery. Putting his earphones in to enjoy his music, he bopped his head a little to the beats. Renjun checked his list if he had any new requests. He wanted to know if Jeno asked for one with his love letter. That’s so stupid. Love letters are supposed to be personal. He’s such a dumbass.

“Hey.” came out of nowhere. Renjun jerked in his chair a little, even if he had earphones, he didn’t blast it just in case someone asked him about anything in the library. He still was a worker there, even if he wasn’t working. He thrived off of a busy schedule. He didn’t thrive off on being startled.

He whipped his head to the person who peeked over his shoulder, almost throwing his hands around if it wasn’t in a public place or at least a library. He saw the same boy from earlier, only this time in neater clothes. Jeno was wearing his athletic warm-ups when he was at the school. Renjun just blinked his eyes before shaking his head and getting back to his laptop, “You’re in a library, look through some books for inspiration for your love letter. Good luck to you and bye.”

“Oh come on, I’m not the best at words and expressing my feelings. Can you just at least read it and revise?” Jeno asked, moving a chair from another table to sit with Renjun. The ping-pong star received hushes from those around him, causing both Renjun and Jeno to have apologetic looks to them.

Renjun shook his head, “No. No way.”

“I’ll pay you extra from what your highest price is. I’ll pay you even more for authenticity,” Jeno pulled his phone out. Renjun peeked over at Jeno’s screen to see his website page with the costs of the homework papers. He thought about the extra costs. He possibly could buy his sister’s dress for homecoming, so she could keep her money from work and spend it on makeup and other necessities to get ready for school events. It was a good idea, but Renjun wasn’t the best at even expressing feelings and whatnot.

“I’ll give you $100 for this one letter,” Jeno offered.

“Alright, sold.”

[oinkawater]

the day you said goodnight | four months ago - oikawa tooru

- in which oikawa tries to figure out how your relationship got to the point where it is now.

pairing: oikawa x reader

taglist: @avylee (comment to be added)

notes: i only had one person on the taglist LMAO but here i am!!!

122 days ago

Oikawa pushes the door open, immediately greeted by the warmth that the cafe is providing. The cafe is busy - there’s a queue at the cash register, people scattered all over trying to find seats and chatter coming in from all directions.

It doesn’t take him long to find the face he’s searching for. It’s not that difficult because he’s seen that face every single day since he was a kid. His voice is very distinct as well and he knew where to look the moment he heard his name.

Iwaizumi immediately pulls him in for a hug the moment he arrives at the table. Once he’s seated back in his seat, Oikawa quickly notices you sitting next to his best friend with a small smile. “Remember the girl I was telling you about that’s in the same dorm building as you?” Iwaizumi starts, “this is her.”

“Hi,” she greets him with a small nod from where she sat. “I’m (y/n). Hajime’s talked a lot about you. Like a lot.”

Oikawa chuckles hesitantly, but softly. “I sure hope the impression you have of me is a good one.”

They spent the evening laughing and chatting. It’s crazy that both of you were at so many places at the same time but never came across each other until Iwaizumi had brought it up while he was on the phone one night.

“I’ll see you around,” Oikawa smiles, giving you a polite nod before he turns to Iwaizumi to give him another hug. “It’s nice seeing you again. Before you go, how about we grab dinner again?”

“Count on it,” Iwaizumi cheers, “but you’re paying because I am the one leaving.”

Iwaizumi puts an arm around you as you turn away. You wave at Oikawa one last time and beam at him. “Have a good evening!”

Oikawa freezes, in the middle of the busy sidewalk outside of the cafe he’d just exited merely minutes ago. The dormant butterflies in his stomach came alive again and he’s feeling warmer than he ever has the whole time he’s been inside.

The contrasting cold wind that Tokyo had to offer him didn’t even bother him anymore. He already knows - he’s smitten with you.

116 days ago

Iwaizumi has just left the city. He’d hopped on a train and took off, back to continue his normalcy of going to university just like Oikawa. You were there to send him off as well.

“Are you going home?” Oikawa starts, turning to tilt his head at you. When you nod, he continues walking next you. Which shocks you because he’s supposed to go the other direction. “Let me walk you home. You know Iwa-chan won’t let me hear the end of it.”

“He’s just protective,” you dismiss his concern with a wave and a soft laugh. “And you don’t have to. It’s okay.”

Oikawa could not stop thinking about you during the past couple of days since he first met you. He couldn’t forget the way you smiled at him and how you laughed at every single one of his jokes.

“It’s okay, I’ve got somewhere to go to in your area, anyway.” False. He just wants to potentially get to know you better. Hell, there’s even a chance that Iwaizumi will tell him off but he’s ready to take his chances with it. “So, how’s college? Any clubs you’ve joined?”

“No, I didn’t even try,” you shrug, “I’m working to pay for the apartment I’ve been staying in. I’m totally not on a scholarship. Unlike you. How’d you get so good at volleyball, anyway?”

The walk to your apartment building didn’t feel as long as it should have. The 20-minute walk she took only felt like 10 minutes. You talked about a lot of things, usually just about school and surface-level things. Nothing too serious and it bums him that you won’t open up to him more.

You abruptly stop and tap Oikawa’s shoulder. You gesture to the tall, pasty white building behind you. “This is my apartment building,” you beam at him. “Thanks for walking me home, Oikawa-kun. I’ll see you at school.”

“Actually, if you don’t mind, do you wanna grab dinner some time?”

110 days ago

Video calling has been a night time routine for the both of you. For the past 3 days since you had dinner together. It started with a simple question he needed help with for his class and suddenly you’re always calling each other at night.

“Hear me out, right?” You start, holding up your hands to the camera to keep him quiet, “why is it any different if you see me in my underwear? It’s exactly the same as seeing me in a bikini.”

“I can’t say I’ve never thought of that,” Oikawa admits, tilting his head as he stares off at his wall.

This argument sparked up when you mentioned that you wanted to change your shirt. The drastic difference in temperature from the outside and your apartment is enough to make you change out of your two layers. You simply took off your shirt without moving away from the camera or at least covering or turning it off.

“But it’s different! Underwear with all that lacy shit it has going on,” Oikawa sighs. Suddenly, the image of you mere seconds ago in your underwear flashes and it makes his cheeks turn red. Redder than you’ve ever seen them. “Underwear is just different.”

He looks back at the screen of his laptop, flinching slightly when your face has covered up the entirety of his device. You scrunch up your nose and narrow your eyes down to a squint. “Why are you all red?”

“Am I?” He has every reason to be red. He’s known you almost a week and a half and he’s already seen you in your underwear. Usually it takes him at least a month.

You giggle, pulling away with a playful grin. “I’ve got to go make dinner than tuck myself in,” you explain softly. “Your assignment’s all good, right? Just call me if you have another question.”

Oikawa nods. The words he had to say were all stuck in his throat - bunching up into a lump. All he manages to say to you is: “I’ll call you.”

102 days ago

“It’s a school night,” you mutter, shoving Oikawa back with an eye roll. “And it’s freezing out here - I don’t know how you got me out of my apartment.”

“It’s just my charm,” Oikawa laughs, shoving his hands into his pockets. He stopped at the entrance of your apartment building and towers over you.

He couldn’t fall asleep at all - his thoughts about his first competition in college consumed him all night. He texted you and you were up. So he picked you up and walked around with you.

You snarl at him and turn to glance at your building for a moment.

The air between the two of you suddenly got thicker. Maybe it’s the calmness of 3AM that’s making him feel like this. The brief idea that you might be feeling him too is lingering, but he can’t bear the rejection if he’s wrong.

“Thanks for paying for my hot chocolate,” you say in a sigh, “I forgot to grab my wallet on the way out of the door.”

“It’s no problem. I asked you to come out, anyway,” he says in a low voice, taking a step towards you. He’s very cautious about this. It can end in two ways and he’s not particularly fond of the ending where Iwaizumi beats his ass. “So, lunch tomorrow, right?”

You can’t utter a response. You’re looking up at him and just realised how brown his eyes are. Even in the dark of the night, they just shined so bright. 

Suddenly his body is on auto-pilot. You’ve grabbed his shirt and yanked him down into you, pressing your lips against his. He doesn’t even have time to think about it - he just tries to pull you closer into his body.

When you abruptly pull away, he feels his heart drop. You lick your lips and nod, “yeah, lunch at 12:30. See you tomorrow.”

96 days ago

Oikawa lies back in his bed, staring at his ceiling. He’s conflicted. You haven’t brought up the fact that you kissed him a few days ago. If he knew any better, he would have thought that you think it was just a mistake.

He might just be reading too much into the situation. Perhaps you just got too caught up in the moment and that’s why you did what you did.

You haven’t called each other at night since then. He’s overthinking circumstances. Did he lose you? Is Iwaizumi already in a train on the way to Tokyo to beat him to a pulp?

His phone buzzes, making him scramble up from his position and snatch his phone from the floor next to him. His lips stretch at the notification with your name and quickly opens it.

‘i just got home from work,, i’ll text you later okay’

He texts you back with a simple ‘okay’ and goes back to staring at his ceiling. He doesn’t know how long he waited for you, but eventually he fell asleep at some point in the night.

You never texted him later that night.

93 days ago

“I’m tired,” you huff, patting his chest then rolling to lie on your back. You sit up and grab your phone from his bedside table and start to scroll through your phone.

Oikawa nods and sits up as well, checking his phone for a brief moment before returning all his attention on you. “Do you want anything to eat? I have leftovers from what I ordered in for lunch.”

“Just a cup of water for me, please,” you mutter, flashing him a wide smile. You don’t even look up from your phone - you just continue to text your friends with a small smile. He can’t help but wonder if you’re talking about him. “Thank you.”

He nods and picks a stray shirt from his floor. He can’t believe you’re on his bed right now, in your underwear. It all happened a week ago when you admitted to him that you like him. 

Well, not exactly that. Your exact words would be: “I don’t know if I like you, but I feel something for you. You’re a great guy.”

He’ll take it as it is.

The catch is that you don’t think you’re ready for anything serious right now. With school and the fact that you’re working almost every day and night, you told him that you just didn’t think that committing is something you can do right now. Especially not with the baggage of your messy breakup that just happened not too long ago.

He has to respect that. He’s got his fair share of trauma for his last relationship in high school as well.

When he comes back to the room, you’re already coddled up in his sheets and unconscious. His lips spread into a grin and he just places the cup of water on the table on your side of his bed.