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gay-otlc · 4 years ago

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Keepers Of The Chaos (Chapter 1)

The first chapter of the Tumblr KOTLC Fandom Fandom story is here!

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing

Word count: 1204

Read on AO3

Linh leans into the microphone. "Welcome to the Twins of the Chaos podcast," she says.

"Where some chaotic twins discuss our favorite show, Keepers of the Chaos," adds Tam. He tugs at his silver tipped bangs. "I'm Tam, and my sister's Linh, and today, we're going to be talking about why you should watch KOTC. Now, if you're one of our five regular listeners, you've probably already seen it, but feel free to share this with a friend or relative to convince them to watch this show!"

Smiling, Linh takes the microphone back and continues. "In this show, there's a group of very, very chaotic friends who all go to Tumblr High School together. As soon as they return after New Year's, their principal informs the school of a writing competition taking place between high schools, with other opportunities for extras like drawing or animation. Every member of the winning team gets a free scholarship to an arts school the characters all want to go to, but don't like their chances of getting in normally or paying, so they sign up. Through the nine episode season, taking place over the month of January, the characters in the writing competition start on the premise, get sidetracked, come up with some truly horrifying ideas, write some gay short stories, and, as the title promises, act very chaotic."

"Now, the writing prompt that the group has to build on is kind of... fuckin' weird," Tam says, barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "They have to write about a girl named Sophia, who's twelve years old and can read minds, who meets a teal- yes, teal- eyed boy named Finn, who tells her she's an elf. Then, she travels to the elf world, where she struggles a bit at elf school, makes friends with some other elves, learns that she is an illegal creation of a rebel group called the Dark Duck, and another rebel group- the Rarelynoticed- tries to kidnap and kill Sophia and her friend Deck. And yes, we're aware that the names are shitty but the characters in the show really get into mocking them, so that's an upside."

Linh laughs a little at the names. "There are a lot of rebels, you might have noticed," she adds.

Tam nods. "Yeah, I noticed. There are a lot of rebels because their government sucks. There's a council of twelve really old elves, and only two of them are alright, then one of those two dies, and then one of the previously bad ones turns good."

"The characters in the show were given a very detailed list of worldbuilding, plot, and character details. We don't have to read the whole thing, though- they just consult it when it's relevant."

"But writing about Sophia and the Dark Duck isn't the only plot of KOTC, thankfully. We also get to see the competitors writing Dark Duck interact with one another and have fun. It makes connections to real life events- mainly through Bernie Sanders memes, but whatever. Bernie Sanders memes are funny."

"Bernie Sanders memes are funny," says Linh, nodding seriously. "And yes. There are some romantic ships in there- like Amelia and Akki, or Shai/Lynn/Tater, but there are also close friendships, and you get to see the group bond over their shared desire to get the scholarship, and their collective love of chaos, so the more platonic aspect is definitely given screen time as well."

"Which, given how often shows center only on romance, is really great," Tam agrees.

"The show also does really incredibly with including diverse characters. Pretty much none of them are both straight and cis, and most of them are neither."

Tam grins. "Right, and no one really makes a big deal about it. They mention it when relevant, of course, and some have homophobic parents, but they have depth beyond getting the authors ally cookies or whatever. Everyone uses correct pronouns, or apologizes when they screw up, and everyone's pronouns are validated no matter how 'weird' or 'confusing' it might be."

"The show also has a lot of good religious diversity, with quite a few Jewish characters, who make sure it's very clear that they're Jewish."

"Yeah, one of the characters- Shai- starts a movement to turn all the Sophia and the Dark Duck characters Jewish as well."

"It doesn't succeed, but good job to aer for trying," Linh says, sighing sadly.

They fall silent for a little while as Tam checks their episode outline, scribbled in Linh's rather illegible handwriting. "Linh, what the fuck does this say?"

Brow furrowing, Linh asks "You can't read my handwriting?"

"No, I can't!"

She sighs. "It very clearly says 'great characters- discuss,'" she huffs.

"Yeah, no one can read your handwriting. Also, we should probably cut this out when we edit."

Linh nods. "Probably, yeah."

Tam leans in closer to the microphone and starts speaking into it again. "The competition has fifty something participants- fifty two, was it?" He looks to Linh for confirmation, who nods again. "Fifty two. But somehow, all of the characters have their own distinct personalities and stories and interests, and they're shown as complex human beings."

"Yeah, that's always been my favorite part of the show. The characters are just so interesting. Canon manages to focus on them a lot more than I would have thought possible, but it still doesn't give us all the details- since it has to balance so many people, it can't spend a long time focusing on just one- so there's a lot of room for speculation in the fandom. Some get noticeably more or less focus than others. Like, Lynn and her fiancees get kind of a lot, while I wish some of my favorite characters like Specs or Charlene got a bit more screen time. But everyone gets some, no one gets too many, and the fandom is there to fill in the gaps!"

"Yeah, and the fandom is fantastic," says Tam. "There aren't a whole lot of us, which we wish would change because the show is really great, but we're a good fandom to be in. There's not usually a lot of discourse, and there are so many talented people making content. lordofthesnuggles's theories for season two are always so detailed and logical that I lowkey suspect he writes for the show, and thehunkiestofhunkyhair makes fantastic fanart."

Snapping her fingers, Linh exclaims. "Oh, and les-biana has the best fanfictions."

Tam coughs, and mutters "Yeah, you like Biana's fanfictions."

"Oh, like you're any different with Keefe," Linh huffs.

There aren't any visuals, so no listeners of the podcast can prove Tam was blushing. "Anyway, the first- and currently only- season starts with everyone signing up for the competition, no idea what they're in for, and ended with half of them wearing sleeping masks with teal eyes painted on and the other half watching the chaos with mild amusement. It's entertaining as fuck, and very well written, so do go check it, recommend it to your friends, let Keepers of the Chaos take over the world, whatever you like."

"Thanks for listening to the Twins of the Chaos podcast, and have an amazing day!" Linh finishes, and she stops recording.

#shai types things #tumblr kotlc fandom fandom #cursing tw #shai's writing

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95jezzica · 4 years ago

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Reviewing Ducktales

Now when the last episode of Ducktales 2017 (also sometimes called the reboot in the review) has been out for a few weeks I think it’s fair game to write a longer review of what I thought about it.

[ Fair warning! ] - Everything above the ‘Read Me’ is what I would call Spoiler Free. - Everything AFTER the ‘Read Me’ contain spoilers up to the Big Finale of season 3 and the show. - This... Accidentally became fairly long review. x)

Now, let’s begin!

Like its’ predecessor from 87 the show Ducktales 2017 is a show mainly focusing on family and adventures, and it’s a fun reboot with daily adventures which can usually be watched by themselves without too much trouble, at the same time as they stay connected over the season(s).

I enjoyed it, and I love that they got to use some characters that hasn’t been used a lot in earlier animated works about the Duck families. Since it’s a show aimed towards (assumingly) younger children it’s also understandable the focus mainly lay on the Duck-kids, but it’s also a great show for us older folks and adults. (Hey, I’m Swedish. Frankly put, me NOT watching something Donald Duck related would be a bigger cause for worry than me as an adult watching it.) This is simply a show you can watch with the whole family.

However, as someone who watched the show as it aired, it was definitely hit by Disney’s weird airing schedules, and I honestly think that’s what might have hurt Ducktales the most. The changing of channels it aired on and WHEN it aired would have had a major negative impact on it and on people trying to follow, especially when Disney also decided to mess with the airing ORDER of the episodes. It doesn’t take much logic to say it made it much more difficult for Ducktales to keep their audience in the long run - especially when Disney sometimes dropped parts of a season at once and then gave no updates for months.

This isn’t as much of a problem now when all the episodes are already out, but I would still highly recommend looking up the correct watching order from one of the crew members, such as Frank. ( @suspendersofdisbelief on Tumblr.) Because to be honest I’m still not sure Disney has fixed the episode order.

Now,

Three (3) short things I didn’t enjoy as much in Ducktales 2017: - The implications some of the info within the Ducktales universe gave us. I recognize most of this info were just meant for a gag/laugh and that we were likely not meant to think too deeply about it, but at the same time I dislike some of the implications this info left.

- Major changes to some of our well-beloved characters, which sometimes almost made them feel like completely new characters rather than different takes on them.

- At times misleading trailers, promos and/or previews, making some characters seem like they would play a bigger role in the show than what’s planned. *(cough - Donald Duck - cough.) Please note this would be on Disney’s marketing team, though, and not on the writers or the crew.

Seven (7) short favorite things in Ducktales 2017:

- Huey, Dewey & Louie being given more distinct personalities. They’re not major differences/changes in the sense that the changes overrides their already established characters in other works, but rather adds to them.

- Webby. ♥ She’s very different from the old Ducktales, but while I still think she might have worked better as a new/her own character rather than ‘Webby’, I also really adore her as a character. ♥

- Creative use of existing characters in the Duck-universe which hasn’t been used as much before.

- Fun adventures with plot hints sometimes hidden in plain view and other times exploding straight in your face.

- LGBTQA+ representation. I don’t doubt Disney made it difficult for the crew to add it, so I’m happy the crew was still able to get through some.

- Clever references to comics, previous Ducktales and other Disney work.

- The animation. Simply BEAUTIFUL. The art-style took a little while to get used to, but the animation look absolutely amazing.

All together Ducktales 2017 is a fun show and is absolutely worth a watch if you want a fun show focused on adventures on family! Just keep in mind that Ducktales, despite being enjoyable for all ages, is still ultimately aimed towards children.

. Now:

> [Click on ‘Read More’ if you want to read the part with Spoilers! ] <

The following part include spoilers up to the big Finale of Ducktales. Read at your own risk.

As briefly touched on earlier a few of the characters had some major changes to their personalites and/or appearances compared to the comics and/or the previous Ducktales. Some work better (like Fenton & Darkwing) than others (Gyro & Glomgold). The majority of the time I personally I didn’t have any issues with their personalities and appearance - I love them - but ultimately I also think some would have worked better as new and original characters rather than very different takes on well-beloved characters.

Let’s take Gyro as an example. I love him as a character - but he isn’t read as Gyro to me in the rebooted Ducktales. He feels like a completely different person, vaguely looking like Gyro. A great character, but not Gyro. Another example would be the reboot’s Webby. I adore her, and I think she was a great addition, but she doesn’t read as Webby to me. In the end it’s not something deal-breaking to me though, and if you stick around you eventually get used to it. I had more issues with the implications of some of the gags we got, such as:

- No one - not even Huey, Dewey and Louie - understanding what Donald says (later with the exception of Daisy), which in-universe at best is a cruel joke to make so often and at worst just ridiculous that not even the triplets would understand the one who has raised and taken care of them from when they were eggs. Verbal communication isn’t everything, and eventually you just... learn a person’s language - spoken or otherwise. Della is Donald’s twin and Scrooge supposedly at least partly raised Donald and Della in the Ducktales reboot - so a similar case can be argued about them as well.

- A show focusing on family had Scrooge and Donald leave Fethry all alone down in the ocean for implied 4,5+ years with no visits because he was weird/annoying. You could argue that Fethry technically isn’t related to Scrooge, but that still leaves Donald and Gladstone.

- Donald’s treatment in general, honestly. He does NOT need more episodes, but Donald’s few appearances in the old DT87 worked better since he was placed in the Marine. This explained in-universe why Donald wasn’t with the kids. He left and trusted them with Scrooge, thus making Scrooge their temporary guardian/main caretaker while Donald was gone. The reboot doesn’t really give us an in-universe reason why Donald is left out from so many adventures though - and you would think he would at least have been there more during s01 before he knew the kids could handle themselves. Especially when you consider how overprotective Donald was before their adventure to Atlantis. Things like that doesn’t go away quickly, and thus Donald’s reaction during the Shadow War when the kids “disobeyed” him, while epic, didn’t feel properly built up.

Donald is (or at least was before Della came back) also supposedly still the triplets’ guardian in the reboot - not Scrooge - and yet Scrooge repeatedly went on various adventures with the kids behind Donald’s back and often treated Donald’s many valid concerns as wrong/annoying or even jokes. Hell, in season 01 Scrooge even took the kids on a dangerous adventure to Mount Neverrest during Christmas, and we don’t even get to hear a mention of where Donald is at the time. In-universe the show, intentionally or not, almost always treats Scrooge as being in the right. Donald supposedly has no reason to worry, despite how Donald has learnt from past experience that he HAS plenty of reasons to worry.

In the meantime we are left to assume Donald either just stayed at the houseboat or got something else to do during most of the adventures, as if Scrooge hasn’t learnt anything from Della’s 10+ years disappearance. Scrooge repeatedly going behind Donald’s back both in the past and present, while probably unintentionally, is portrayed as okay - because no real consequenses are shown. Scrooge’s and Donald’s 10+ year old fight is solved(?) somewhere off screen, and everything else seems to be forgiven. Their 10+ years fight isn’t really brought up again after the first episodes either, and based solely on the episodes I’m not sure Della even knows Donald raised the kids by himself, without Scrooge. At the very least it’s not discussed in the episodes.

- Webby being Scrooge’s clone, and only because of that being able to call forth the Papyrus. Honestly? Might be a nitpick, but I feel it would have been more meaningful if Webby wasn’t connected to Scrooge by blood. She could have been his truthful heir in a more spiritful sense, even if she still turned out to be a clone. (Though I have to admit part of me still thinks it’s hilarious Webby techncially being Scrooge’s daughter also makes her Della’s and Donald’s cousin, so at least there’s that.) x)

All together I still greatly enjoyed the rebooted Ducktales, and I also understand hindsight is 20/20. I very much doubt the writers intended most of the mentioned or unmentioned implications anyway, and despite some of the show’s issues it’s still a fun and great show about family and adventures. Ducktales 2017 also has an art-style with it’s own wonderful personality, and the animation is simply amazing.

We got to see plently of characters from the Duck-universe which aren’t used a lot in animated works (such as Gladstone, Fethry, the McDucks and the Caballeros) and cameos from various other shows as well (like as Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers, Darkwing Duck and Tailspin).

The biggest theme is family, and there are many different kinds of families in the reboot. To be honest I’m surprised Beakley, Scrooge or even Donald didn’t adopt Lena, but I’m also happy Lena got two wonderful dads and a sister (two sisters with Webby) after finally breaking free from Magica. There’s all kind of families in the reboot - found, built, befriended, adopted, biological and even lost familiy - and while things can go bad for a while (or even for 10+ years) things are usually solvable as long as you’re not alone and can work together.

Because after all, Family is the Biggest Adventure of All, and with that said I look forward to see whatever shows the crew might work on the future, and/or future shows in general with all of our favorite ducks.

//Jezzica.

#Ducktales #Ducktales 2017 #review #DT2017 #DT 2017 #Ducktales Review #This became very long #but I hope you guys think this was a fair review #I'll likely remember 1000s of things I wanted to say after I post this #but oh well #for now? this is good #Ducktales 2017 is a good show #♥

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xanderwithanx · 3 years ago

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Chloe does night-time diary posts on HER tumblr, so I'm going to start doing them here, sometimes. It would be nice if you read it, but, please, don't feel obligated! This is more for me to write.

(I got tired of my normal journal, I guess. It's full of bad poetry anyway. Besides, where's the thrill of losing anonymity in a physical notebook?)

I've basically been asleep and depressed for several days, because I had withdrawal after not being able to get my adhd meds. But, I got it today, and DID THINGS. (This is SO much better than before!)

Today, I went to a small café or restaurant (focused on tea) called Alice's Teacup that was Alice in Wonderland themed! My long-standing obsession with Alice in Wonderland knows no bounds. It was a really cute place. I got pumpkin pancakes, and some really good iced tea. Like... REALLY good iced tea.

Still, it seemed like the entire place was geared towards having a pot of tea and snacks with your friends, which left me a bit lonely. The person I asked couldn't come, and by the time I heard back, I was more than halfway there. Still, I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and watched Monty Python on my phone, so I still had a good time!

I dressed pretty eccentricly and effeminately all day, but, with my facial hair, I was ALWAYS coded as a man, even by people on the street! Pastels, a stupid hat, a crop top, and facial hair was a winning combination.

On my way, I was stopped by some guys soliciting for charity. I don't make a habit of stopping for strangers on the streets of Manhattan. What if it's a scam? What if I'm being pressured to buy something? What if it's a strange political rant? But, I had already taken my earbuds off, I wasn't in a hurry, and I'm terminally polite. The first guy said he liked my energy, which seemed to come from a genuine place, because I liked his too!

They were asking for donations for a breast cancer charity, the United Breast Cancer Foundation. After a discussion, it seems like the charity helps pay medical debt, medical bills, and other practical needs, which is much better than *some* others I could name. I regretted not being able to give their minimum there, as it was pretty high, but told them I'd give what I could when I got on the website.

I... did not. Money is tight, because I'm bad and irresponsible with money, even though this is more than a worthy cause. I didn't NEED to go to that tea place, and I don't NEED to spend so much money on food. Sure, I can justify it: I wanted to go to that place for so long, and it was near the college anyway! But, if I was responsible with money, you KNOW my friends direct fundraising drives would go first, worthy charities second. Still, I feel bad about it.

Then, I went to the college library, to get books to start my thesis research. I have literally been unable to go to the college itself, aside from getting my ID, so this was great! There just wasn't a reason. It was... very empty. I went to the library stacks, which was deathly quiet and deeply haunted by the old books. I half expected something to pop out at me, as I turned the stacks, but I wasn't even paranoid or anxious. It was like I was in something else's house. I was welcome, but on thin ice.

I picked up an irrelevant psychology book on the "schizophrenia problem" from the 1930s, out of morbid fascination, and quickly put it down when it threatened to shatter in my hands.

Some students walked past (which was a suprise in those monastic basement library stacks), and I added something to their conversation, in a totally natural and casual way. But, omg the poor girls, I made them jump! Luckily, I'm the least threatening person on earth, and we laughed it off.

After a lot of hunting, I got 5 out of my 10 books (for the most part)! (The rest are, sadly, online. I like to read physical copies.) Strangely, I only came in with a list to get 3 books out of 6.

Most of the books I got are about art in the AIDS crisis, which is the core of my thesis, I think, all with different value. One about exhibitions, one about the larger narrative of those gay artists, and another contradicting the larger narrative.

I also got a book about "Art and Homosexuality". Just, the parallel construction of both "art" and "homosexuality" across cultures and times, from earliest history to the modern age. It wasn't on my initial list, but I'm really excited to read it.

Finally, I got a book called "The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel", about the pain and spectacle of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance European art. I'm mainly interested in Italian Renaissance art of the crucifixion--and its masochism--for the second quarter of my thesis.

The rest are online, and Should mostly focus on Bacchus in the Italian Renaissance (especially through art) and what I call the art of "gay liberation", concurrent with the AIDS crisis (i.e. The Cockettes). These two topics make up the last half of my thesis.

I'm SO excited to get started!!

I even got to cross the college's sky-bridges! (The college is a few skyscrapers.) Still, the loneliness and novelty were kind of the same thought. Imagine if I had been here before COVID, or, if COVID hadn't happened. Who would I have been able to meet? What would the college buildings mean to me? Because, for now, they're just buildings. But, I got to see the street from above, and that was amazing!

Just walking through New York--the Upper East Side--on a cool, sunny day was beautiful. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from my place to the college (and the tea place), but it was great being able to listen to my music (a lot of They Might Be Giants on the playlist today) and see the city. You know, people, super cool old architecture being pushed out by terrible new architecture, and pigeons.

Oh my god, the pigeons. I took pictures, but none of them are good. I kept thinking about how pigeons and doves are functionally the same. We domesticated pigeons, which is why they're here, and no one is stopping to notice them? Even the ones that were splotched with pure white, like doves? There's only so many pigeons you can take until they're just white noise and a nuisance, I know, so don't think I'm blaming anyone! But it's so hard to look away from these quirky little birds.

Also, at one point my walk, I was vaping very strategicly. The mental task of searching through library stacks will do that to you, when you already have an addiction to nicotine. I made sure no one was around, and no one would be affected. I stopped on a corner next to an old, ornate Catholic church while the traffic light changed, and I almost juuled right next to a priest! I'm glad I stopped. I don't believe in Hell, but, I would have walked down there myself had I vaped at a priest. Still, the church advertised itself as LGBT+ friendly, so maybe they aren't so trigger happy on the damnation. Either way, I DIDN'T vape at a priest today, which is good.

Once I got back, I spent a few hours watching things with my amazing girlfriend Chloe, who you may know here as @cisphobiccommunistopinions. She is so beautiful, and I love her more every day, every time I see her. God, it's almost been 5 years!

I just wish I could spend more time with her. She's in Virginia, and I'm in New York. Like she said to me earlier, I'm flighty at the best of times, and, with my lack of object permanence for the digital world, I find myself not giving her the attention I deserve, or, the full connection I long to have with her. We used to live together. Luckily, someday we will live together again! All these problems won't be forever, and we can live together again.

We watched a lot of things, but we're pretty deep into Serial Experiments Lain right now. It's a postmodern anime from the 90s, and, wow, do I have no idea what's going on in it. It's about the internet, and potentially schizophrenia as well. However, I'm obsessed! One day I'll be able to crack this artistic code, and it's unreality, thematic knots, and double-meanings. I will probably understand it better on the second watch. I don't see myself in Lain, but I see my 14 year old self in her, when I had just developed schizophrenia. Her cyberpunk fate seems like it's railroaded towards tragedy, but I want to save her, even if it's silly and irrational.

I told Chloe that I was scared about spilling apple cider on my library books, and she referred to it as "The Great Apple Juice Disaster of September 11, 2021." To which I said that it was the second worst thing to happen in New York on that date. It was funnier if you were there, and also were in my brain at the time.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting some online acquaintances from the college's "Queer Srudent Union" at a Japanese Culture Fair in a park. (I do not know which park.) It emphasizes "fun"! I don't know them very well, but they're friends with the one person I know irl, so it should be good.

Tomorrow night, I should Probably head downtown to check out a gallery show by MFA (masters of fine arts) students at Hunter! After all, I was in a group project with one of them, and they're absolutely brilliant. I missed the Thursday gallery opening by a landslide, because of the aforementioned lack of adhd meds and Being Asleep, which I infinitely regret. I could have listened to all the artists and curators talk about their art and exhibition! Maybe I could have even talked with the artists and curators. But, it's best for me to go sooner, rather than later, so I don't forget. And, I REALLY want to go.

It's "This dialogue which happened to be present in all other dialogues" at the Alyssa Davis Gallery. From the email I got, "Each of these works observes a threshold of transition. [...] [These] intimations [are] of a frame of mind shared by the artists. These works perform, record, access, engage, document, and entrap, embalming the viewer within the gallery space."

sgp is a really good artist, by the way. Their work is just next-level. Be sure to check out their art, if you have a chance. Let me link their portfolio: https://saragracepowell.com/

(I highly suspect spg and the other member of my group project ghosted me afterwards, but I understand. I was really in over my head. Still, they're both really sweet and kind people, don't get it twisted!)

I ALSO really want to see The Cake Boys. They're performing at the 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn on September 26th. (It's only $15!) They're the only all drag king collective in NYC! (Are... there any Other all drag king collectives out there?) Other than the fact that a lot of them are trans or nonbinary, which I love, this show is a totally non-judgmental competition for over 40 drag kings! I've heard their shows are hilarious and unique.

I just have to wait until I have $15 to spare. I... didn't eat dinner tonight, because I'm irresponsible with my money and don't want to ask my parents for money... again. Don't worry, it's literally fine, and I don't make a habit of doing this!

Which reminds me! For my birthday, my parents gave me a gift card to Lush! I'm definitely going to Lush tomorrow, which will be great. I would describe my personality as "Lush store employee acosting you about a bath bomb demonstration", so I'll fit right in.

I also made a transition timeline, to show how much I've changed on testosterone. For the better, I hope! I really believe I'm becoming, if not Have Become, the man I was always meant to be. It's so strange to look back at who I was not too long ago, and to know the absolute pain I was in. It's also strange, in a good way, to see the man looking back at me in the selfies. I'm so much happier now! Much more candid in my pictures, at least. But, I know that I'm so much more comfortable as myself than I was even 6 months ago. It's strange. Sometimes I think to myself, "I don't pass yet; I'm not who I Need To Be yet." Then, I look at my selfie from today, and... I'm THERE. My mind just hasn't caught up with my amazing, natural, normal reality.

The end. I have to get ready for bed, (even though I could be partying on a Saturday night in the city. I'm lame.) If you actually read this, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. I hope it made you calm down tonight, like a terrible bedtime story. If you didn't read it and just skipped to the end, don't worry: you did the rational thing.

#long post #diary entry

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queenmylovely · 4 years ago

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Queen/Borhap Creator Appreciation Day

Seeing all of the love in all the posts that have come across my feed and into my notes, I am so happy that we are taking this time to appreciate one another, both creators and the people that support us alike! I think we (including me) should all take this as an opportunity to continue this kind of love and support going forward. To start, here is a list of some of my favorite creators of all types, with a bit of something that they create (if I missed anybody, know that I do absolutely appreciate you, I just have been a little absent the past weeks). Thanks again for all the love and I’m super excited to go check out some people I should be following!!!

(a lot of the fics I’m recommending are smut and therefore 18+, please respect that boundary)

Edits, etc.

@moustachefreddie does a ton of great edits, including this one that reimagines the single cover for “Time Waits for No One”

@39-ers does wonderful edits and moodboards, like this one that I think is very relevant to their url

@stardust-killer-queen and her moodboards and other edits are fantastic, I love this one’s colors sm

@cherries-n-rocknroll is fucking amazing and so is this edit from my url and this one that’s just gorgeous (and all her other stuff too)

@stoneqoldcrazy has some crazy cool moodboards especially this one! that makes the boys their colors from Hot Space (trust me if you click it it will make sense)

@ogrebattles continue to put out spectacular edits and I love my url edit so so much!

@freddie-mercurys has brilliant freddie content as well as brilliant gifs like these

@tenderbri is a seasoned curator of all tender bri things (obvs) and also posts her one edits

@drbriangay has some of the most beautiful art like this piece

@mypassionfortrash makes superb gifs of rog like this one, among other things she’s great at (like art! and fics!)

@s-k-y-w-a-l-k-e-r makes excellent gifs including this one that’s super super cool

@joemazzhello’s gifs of Joe make life so much better, exhibit A

Fics

@brianmays-hair is relatively new to me but I love everything she has put out since I followed her and this is what reeled me in

@illfoandillfie it’s no secret how much I love brigid and this is one of my favs of hers

@sonic-volcano is super sweet and writes super sweet stuff as well!

@freddiesaysalright is a prolific writer of fantastic series and this totally genius fic is one of my favs

@theborhapboysawakenedmywhatever writes terrific things and her hcs are A+, especially this one 👀

@supersonicfreddie has been someone whose writing I have enjoyed since probably the second day I started my tumblr lol and ofc I must mention the fic written for me (that sounds so narcissistic i swear lolll)

@almightygwil consistently writes outstandingly and all her writing is sensational but something about this blurb makes it necessary to be highlighted

@fallingprincess I got to get to know recently plus she writes fantastic things including this

@asphalt-cocktail’s writing is A1 and I suggest you start with this cause um amazing

@taliaphobia is the sweetest and also the cutest and also so’s her writing like this little blurb

@la-vie-en-rosuh listen LeeAnn’s a total sweetheart and am I going to keep recommending things that were written for me? Yes (but mainly bc it’s a fantastic piece of writing regardless)

@killergwil writes stuff that makes me a little insane, but in the best way humanly possible, so uh check this one out if you want to feel the same

@just-my-sickly-pride is such a fucking great writer and was such a fucking great secret valentine that wrote a fic for me (also this one changed my mind ab what john is capable of)

@laedymoon is a gorgeous person all around and her fics are as well, here’s a oneshot and here’s a series

@rogerina-is-hotter-than-me has ridiculously hot, ridiculously real writing and any of her prof!gwil pieces are amazing, but here’s a good start

@m0etenchandon’s fics are all stellar but I have a soft spot for the multi fics like this one

@a-night-at-the-0pera marvels me with her dedication to detail and ability to make me feel like i am In the story and this fic made me a period piece convert

@mrbenhardys could go on either list, but I’m including her on this one bc I love her fics so much and this one turned me on to the wonders of enemies to lovers

@anotheronebitesthedeaks has some truly fantastic stuff and must be credited with the manifestation of sugardaddy!john. This fic isn’t one of those though lol

@redspecialty writes fics that you get immersed in completely and when they’re done you have to face the harsh reality that you are not, in fact, reader, so enjoy one of my favs of hers that is also so explicit even I blush at times

@perriwiinkle is one of the first blogs I followed and this series is one of the first i read in its entirety, and I’m so glad i did

p.s. I included some writers that are not writing anymore or at the moment, which ofc is totally their choice and a valid one that we should all respect, I just wanted to highlight them bc I still love going back to their fics and would recommend anyone else doing the same

#I do love you all #oh fuck I hope all the links work #especially bc I didn't name anything lollll #its for the ~mystery~ so the creators have to click thru to see what I linked asldfaihoijdfa ignore me #ive only been moving stuff from drafts to queue so thats why it may look like ive been here but honestly not really...#anyway #queen #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #fic recs #edits #appreciate the queen creators #fandom appreciation day #appreciatethequeencreators #appreciate content creators

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themarvellouswriter · 5 years ago

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MOB!SEBASTIAN x TALL!READER

PART ONE OF THE MASTERPIECE SERIES

Warnings: Nothing that I can think of to be honest

Word Count: 1.8k

Genres: Mob!AU (Is this a genre?), mild fluff, slight slow-burn, some angst (or maybe a lot of angst)

Notes: Its my first official fic on Tumblr you guys, wish me luck! And happy reading! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“But Y/N, you promised!” “I’m sure you must have hallucinated my response. Why would I willingly promise to wear five inch heels to your bachelorette party?!” “Cause you’ve got killer legs and you always look good in heels,” pouted your best friend, Sofia, from where she was lounging on the sofa of your apartment. “I am perfectly fine wearing my very comfortable two inch ones.” “You always wear them! For me? Your only best friend, who’s getting married in a week?” You looked at Sofia’s puppy eyes and sighed. “Fine, I’ll wear them. But no dancing. I’m already a foot taller than everyone else, no need to add my ridiculous and non existent dancing skills to the mix.” “Deal!” She pressed an excited kiss to your cheek as she stood up and held up a brand new shoe box. “For my bestest and loyalest friend in the whole wide world!” Taking it from her you opened it slowly to reveal said pair of five inch heels. You had to admit, they were gorgeous. Delicate red laced straps and closed toes, just like how you liked them. You hid a smile. Sofia grinned. “I know you love them,” came her sing song voice from next to you. “Fine. Yes. Yes, I do love them.” “Lovely. Try them on!” You tried them on and stood up. Sofia squealed. “You look amazing!” You looked down at your feet and then met Sofia’s glowing smile with one of your own. “Yes, I do!” She pulled you into a tight hug, her head now barely reaching your shoulders.

Suddenly an alarm went off. “Oh, we’ll be late!” “No, you’ll be late. To your own party.” “Which you organized!” “Touché.” Sofia practically skipped into your bathroom to change her clothes. A few minutes later she stepped out wearing a sparkly champagne coloured dress with her six inch golden pumps. “Ta-da,” she said striking a pose. “Very nice. Very Charlie’s Angels of you,” you complimented her, slowly clapping. She took a deep bow. “Thank you, thank you.” You went inside the bathroom and changed out of your clothes into a similar shimmery knee length red dress. You didn’t really like short dresses because the shorter the dress the more uncomfortable you felt. You looked at yourself in the mirror and gave a slight twirl. ‘Nice’. You walked to find the rest of the party crowding your apartment. All seven of members of your party had dressed to the nines in glitter and were wearing the colors of the rainbow. Sofia liked to keep things fairly small but wild. And for her you would do anything. When everyone finished putting the final touches to their outfits, you called your hired limo for the night and set off for the craziest night of your life.

After spending the entire evening trying to keep the girls mostly sober but slightly tipsy and having fun, you were tired. As much as you were used to wearing heels and towering over people, wearing five inch ones and keeping six giggly girls on their feet was not so much fun. You felt like mother trying to keep her screaming children from screaming louder. At the last stop for the party, you headed to a quiet and mostly empty pub so that they could sober up and not have hangovers the next day. There was another small and quiet party in the corner who appeared to having a meeting of some sort. Not paying much attention to them, you left the girls in a booth in the corner, then headed to the counter to order some light snacks and water bottles. As you waited, you idly stared at the clock behind the bar. 23:47.

Most of the girls were half asleep and the others, mainly Sofia, were playing with the napkins on their table. You felt someone approach you from behind. You stiffened. “Hey,” came a low, slightly gruff voice. You turned around to meet a pair of blue grey eyes. “May I help you?” You asked politely. “Yeah, I’m Sebastian and my friends over there forced me to ask you for your number.” “And?” “And I think you’re really pretty and I would really like your number.” At that moment your order arrived. You gave the man a quick once over. He was dressed extremely well in an expensive looking navy coloured suit and his hair were kind of long and slicked back. He had a soft smile on his face which gave him a sort of puppy look and his eyes were really nice. He had day old stubble which made him look older and very nice looking, not to mention kissable, lips. Your mouth twitched. “If I see you again, then I will. Because right now, my girls need me.” You tilted your head in Sofia’s direction and stood up and you were so much taller than him. He, Sebastian, wasn’t short by any means but right now you practically towered over him. ‘Darn it’. You walked away, face flush with embarrassment, towards your table. You kept your head down the entire meal and when the limo came to drop everyone off at their place, you were the first one in.

You liked being tall. Being tall was nice. Nothing was ever too much out of reach and although you never could have fun on the monkey bars, you liked it. But sometimes being so tall made you want to scream. Why was it that you were so much taller than everyone you were interested in? And not to mention the constant jabs from everyone who looked at you funny for wearing heels. Its not like you needed them, but you wanted them instead. You liked being tall but you often wished that you were small enough to be cuddled with and picked up and swung around in a lover’s arms. And ever so often you’d feel the need for being treated like a small and fragile human instead of a tall and imposing one.

You stayed mostly quiet the entire way under the guise of being exhausted when they girls looked at you questioningly. You smiled and reassured them that you were fine. But your mind kept going back to the ridiculously good looking guy who’d asked for your number and you’d turned him down. On retrospection, maybe he was more good looking now that you were miles away. You shrugged off thoughts about him as you finally got down and helped Sofia out. You paid and thanked the driver for his services and led her in. Sofia immediately collapsed on you bed. “That was the best bachelorette party ever. I had so much fun and by the looks of your night, you had fun too!” You laughed. “It was nothing. I’m glad you had fun.” “What about tall and cute and handsome at the pub? He seemed into you.” “Oh Sofia. You know me. I have extremely high standards. Most people don’t even come close to them,” you deflected easily, knowing that Sofia would never let it go if you told her that you had chosen her over some hot guy.

You changed into your pyjamas and then coerced Sofia into hers. She was staying with you for the night since it was nearly one in the morning. After what seemed like hours of her pouting and making faces and cries of ‘I’m too hyped to sleep! I’m getting married’, you finally managed to get her in bed. After tucking her in, you lounged in your balcony, propping your feet up on the railing and gazing up at the sky. You must’ve dozed off for a while because the next thing you know there were a couple of thuds coming in from the alleyway between the buildings opposite to yours. Several flashes of light followed by a short scream which was abruptly cut off. Your curiosity got the better of you and you jumped to your feet, grabbed your phone and headed out to investigate.

Using the torch on your phone, you slowly walked towards it. Quietly you made your way inside. Two people were beating up your nice neighbour Veronica Martin, who always gave you a cupcake from her little bakery around the corner. Furious, you stepped into the light and let out an indignant yell, “Will you two jerks stop hitting her?! She’s done nothing wrong.” They gave you the once over and snorted. “This is none of your business, girlie. Run along now.” “Excuse me? If you don’t stop right this second, I’m going to call the police.” The shorter of the two stepped towards you threateningly. “Don’t make us do something you won’t like.” Veronica coughed from her place on the floor. “Leave me, its okay Y/N. I deserve this.”

You clenched your phone tighter and said, “Nobody deserves to get beaten up in the middle of the night.” “Get lost, punk. Or you’re next.” “Try me, egghead. I ain’t playing around.” “Alright, you asked for it.” The shorter one pulled out a blade and moved towards you. “Two years of college mixed martial arts, don’t fail me now,” you muttered to yourself as you ducked just as he swung his knife at you. Taking a step back, you kicked him the stomach and as he keeled over in pain, you snatched the knife from his limp fingers. “You wanna try this again, ugly?” You taunted the other one. You moved closer to Veronica’s prone form and held the blade threateningly. The other held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, we’ll go now.” He made his way slowly to where his partner was groaning in pain. “Wait, before you go.” “Huh, wha-” And you punched him the face. “That was for hurting Veronica. Now scram.” The taller looked at you, his expression a mixture of offence and surprise as he gingerly touched his cheek. After making sure that they weren’t gonna come out and surprise you, you bent over Veronica and examined her. “Oh, V, you’re hurt so bad.” Her eyes fluttered as she looked up at you. “I’m calling the hospital.” As soon as they picked up, you gave instructions on where you both were. You cradled Veronica’s head and spoke soothingly. Her eyes widened suddenly, “Y/N watch out-” Something heavy hits you on the back of your head and the next thing you know is there is a dull throbbing at the base of your skull and then darkness.

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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hi bae <3 reading that last ask i’m realizing i have no grammar? lmao

glad university is funnnn, when you said linguistics i was like 🤨 but then i googled it and it does sound interesting lmao

the too much free time part though... :( its like you expected to be thrown in and like WOO BUSY and WOO purpose (purpose may be going too far lol) but i totally get what you’re saying. ESPECIALLY when you expect to be busier and you’re not it’s like :/ ok. (& girlllll it’s fine to complain, it’s how ur feeling)

and bc of covid you have eVEN LESS STUFF TO DO, which sucks. the social part may help? even just a little bit, but maybe having some socialization.. it could be somewhat uplifting? idk gsjshsj

where i live the vaccine is for 16 and up right now but for the younger kids (12-15) it hasn’t been ✨FDA approved✨ yet so my brother is still waiting for his 🤠

okay really quick, how does drivers license work there? here you learn to drive at 16 and you can like actually drive (sometimes even alone in the car) by 17... (also burneks?)

YAYYYY GIRLLL i remember you telling me about how you haven’t seen your family in England in such a long time 🥺🥺🥺 i really hope you get to see them soon!!!! and that covid eases up so you can see them frequently again 🥺🥺🤍

i’m gonna tattoo that to my forehead “not being friends with your parents is unhealthy” EXACTLY!! the people saying that stuff are usually not close to their parents so 👀

i’ve been really busy (unfortunately imo lol) with my dance recital coming up and this singing group (which i don’t like at all) and my final tests bc of school i’m EEK but it’s a good eek i think? maybe? idk lolll, i can’t wait for everything to be over though so i can CHILL. after school however i have a missions trip in north carolina? don’t quote me on that, but yeah 🥰 i’m really excited about it bc i’ll be without my family (like on my own :)) and it’s this whole thing and i’ll get to know people and i’m gonna buy a new bathing suit that makes me look gooooood cuz i’m tryna cop a boyfriend while i’m there HAHAHAH but besides that... more acting and singing camps probably? most likely a summer job.. i don’t have any plans reallyyy set in stone but ya know (ACTUAL i do have a few things planned. but those are things i don’t want to do. so i will be ignoring them <3)

that was a long ass paragraph- but PLEASE UR RESPONSE WAS FINEEE & i love you 💓💓💖💞💘💓💞💕 literally watch me buy a ticket to germany rn

- lovely anon (or catherine? i feel that lovely anon is iconic now tho so. kinda like how i call you aria in my head not your real name lol ALSO I PROMISE IM GONNA RESPOND TO THAT REALLY SOON, it’s just really busy rn) <3

what’s wrong with tumblr i just saw this a minute ago 🥲🥲🥲🥲 they don’t want to see us together ✋🏼 but fuck them 💘

Whaksk wait wdym by you have no grammar? 😭😭hejsjs

Honestly I’m so surprised that I’m enjoying linguistics but i think since i speak english and german i’ve just always been interested in language and esp english since it’s just my second language so i was forced to learn more about the language than just words and grammar, because it’s such a big part of me and also i didn’t always have a british accent so i kind of had to... develop a british accent, and it was natural but also kind of wasn’t??? Anyway why was this one sentence like 17 lines i’m sorry

YES OMG EXACTLY and obviously i’m missing out on the whole uni experience i mean I’m introverted anyway but i don’t mind going to a party every now and then? but i haven’t talked to a single person from my uni (except in class when we had to analyse a poem or something— okay technically some of my friends go to the same uni as me but they’re all studying other stuff)

But yeah I’ll definitely try to meet my friends more often 🥺 but we all have really different schedules rn so it’s really hard to find days where we both/all are free and not too tired and yeahssjsksj but i mean.... i can pay 50% of your ticket to germany? and then we can hang out? 🥰

I think everyone over 18 can get their vaccine from Monday on so I’ll try to call (okay, my mum will call sisjsh) and see if i can get an appointment. but i think everything will be super full because previously only people over... 50?or 60? or people with like illnesses could get it and now everyone over 18 can get it??? Like that’s a lot of people who can suddenly get the vaccine sksjjs but at the same time they’re getting quicker with it (i think today over 1 million people got the vaccine???? Like i know the US probably gets wayyy more people done so idk if that sounds like nothing to you but obviously Germany is much smaller so to me that sounds like a lot???) and also one of my father’s friend’s wife (djdkdj) works at a hospital or something? And she said she’ll ask if I can get it done there so yeah 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Isksmsjjs it took me so long to figure out what burneks was, i googled it (very weird results?) and then i realised i made a typo.... yeah no idea what i was trying to say lol

So in Germany (as far as I’m aware) you can start at 17 and you can’t have your test before you’re 17 years and 6 months old (idk why) and then you’re not allowed to drive alone until you’re 18 and then you still have two years on probation(is that what it’s called?) and you’re not allowed to drink a single sip of alcohol before you’re 21 (and drive) (cause in germany you’re allowed to drink when you’re 14 (if your parents are with you and allow it), then when you’re 16 you can buy beer and wine, and when you’re 18 you can buy everything. But you’re not allowed to drink and drive (even if it’s just 0.01 promille) until you’re 21)

(Okay I just googled and I don’t think you say pro mille/per mille in english sksjsjs but like the percent (or something...) of alcohol you have in your blood (idk biology sorry) (not that you asked about drinking and driving anyway? 😭 but there you go lmaoo)

Also idk if that’s just a UK thing or you also have it in the US? But all of my relatives from England keep asking me how often I’m driving with my parents (for practice)... and in Germany that’s.... not allowed? Like in england you can get these L (Learner) plates that you can stick on the back of your car and then you can drive anytime with your parents, but in germany you can only drive with your driving instructor during a paid for and legally organised driving lesson so. Kksskaj

Yess, the good thing now is that i can go to england anytime? Because Uni is all online anyway so it’s not like i have to wait until the holidays to see my family, i really hope i’ll see them soon🥺 it was my nana’s bday today and my grandad’s a few weeks ago so i’m painting two pictures for them tomorrow and sending them as a (late) gift next week 😌 (i’ll do like an impressionist ✨field of flowers✨ (that sounds awful sksjsjsj for reference i’ll look something like this: (it’s not mine i just found it on the internet while i was looking for some inspiration

for my nana, and something with a waterfall for my grandad) (looking at it now i don’t even think that’s impressionism? Idfk i had art as my subject for my a levels (like one of my final exams) and i actually got an A 👀 but it was mainly architecture and i don’t even remember that so

Ahhh I hope it’s a good eek!! Sksjj hopefully you’ll be done with everything soon and i already know you’re gonna do really good in all of your tests😌 but still: good luck ❤️❤️❤️

Idk if it’s actually cool? But North Carolina sounds so cool to me (but honestly you could have said any state and i’d think it’s cool sksksskm) And girl I still think it’s so amazing that you just sing and dance and act and omg ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(I’m imagining us in a montage (?) like they always have in films while we’re shopping to get you a hot bathing suit😌😌 and then they always come home with like 6 shopping bags in the movies—)

This is gonna sound so dumb because who tf wants to work? But I’ve always wanted a summer job 🥲 like nothing too exhausting obviously but i’ve never earned any money by myself? I haven’t had a single job in my life (not that I’m that old and like only one of my friends has worked in her life like we’re young sksjsj) and yeah i think it would be really cool to have a summer job and earn some money 😌 but during the summer holidays (they’re only 6 weeks in germany) we’d always go to england for at least two weeks and then we’d drive to bosnia to see my dad’s family for a few days and then to croatia and then to Bosnia again sksksksms so i never had time for a summer job (obviously i’m aware that it’s a fucking privilege that i’ve never had to work and that i get to go to multiple countries during the holidays but yeah)

WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH AUSSKKSSM

Like I said I’ll pay 50% of your ticket 😌 i’ll be here stuck at home anyway, just let me know when you’re coming so i can come pick you up😌 (this emoji djskksks— but i mean it fits so i’ll use it as often as i can 😌)

Lovely anon IS iconic 😌✨ but Catherine is more than okay too🥰 so just say whatever you prefer ❤️

(And omg you never have to apologise for responding to my long ass, full-of-mistakes responses late sksjs take your time (i mean i wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t respond to some of them i talk too much anyway <3333)

#lovely anon #<3

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tigerlilyhasablog · 5 years ago

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Life During the Apocalypse

Hello darlings! Hope everyone is doing well… Hope you all are safe, healthy and not going too crazy if you are in self isolation. Since I’m stuck in the house with quite a bit of extra time, I’d like to try to blog a bit more than usual. I thought it would be kind of fun to share with you what I have been up to at home, so enjoy: The Day in the Life of a Quarantined Teen.🙃

Remote school

First for the dull stuff. My university moved to remote learning the week of March 6th, and while they originally said it would be “until further notice”, they have since announced that it will be like this for the rest of the semester. It’s definitely more boring than going to class, and I miss going to school and seeing people, but I don’t mind it that much. It’s kinda funny, ’cause I was homeschooled for most of my life, up until college, so doing this is like going back to the old days of being homeschooled. 🙂 Right now I’m actually on Spring Break, so this week I’m mainly just chillin’.

What I’ve been watching

I’ve been meaning to get Disney+ for eons now, but never got around to it. My sister and I decided that hey, what better time than now? The very first thing that we watched was High School Musical… Don’t judge me.😂 Somehow I had gone through life never having watched this iconic piece of pop culture, but I decided it was time to amend that. What can I say: it is equal amounts completely terrible and utterly amazing.

Finally watched The Mandalorian as well, which is really, genuinely good. I feel so-so about most Star Wars stuff – I don’t dislike it, but I don’t love it – but damn, I got into this show immediately. The way that they’ve made it like a Western? So good. The characters, the visuals, the storyline… 👌🏻 And yes, I would die for Baby Yoda.

Once we finished that season, we began on Agent Carter, and we just finished the first season last night. I felt so-so about it for like, the first two episodes, but after that I got really into it and like, damn, it’s really good! Two thumbs up from me.

Other than Disney, the only other thing that I’ve watched recently is The Miseducation of Cameron Post. It’s been on my want-to-watch list for a while now, and the other day my school gave me access to a site with a bunch of free films on it, one of which was this movie, which I was really excited about. Fuck, it was good. Really hit hard, Chloe Grace Moretz was incredible, as was the rest of the cast, just a really powerful story of course. I liked the indie feel of the whole thing… Sometimes you can just tell, you know? The 90s aesthetic was also great.

What I’ve been listening to

Being stuck in the house has giving me lots of opportunity to listen to music basically all of the time, so let me share some of the stuff I have been loving right now:

Conan Gray’s Kid Krow – I am really loving this album. It is packed with bops, as well as some fantastic sad-boi songs. I’ve liked Conan’s stuff for a bit now, but in a rather passive way… Now I would say that my fan-ness (not a word, I know) has been solidified.

Ed Sheeran – let me introduce you to the little underground indie artist I’ve recently discovered. Haha. It’s kinda funny that I’ve gotten so into Ed lately, cuz I mean, of course I’ve listened to his stuff for a while now. But like, I guess I’ve never delved very deep into his discography? But lately I’ve been listening to the entirety of each of his albums, and I’m a little obsessed. Guess I should have believed the hype sooner, huh?

Alec Benjamin – someone else who I’ve been into for quite a while, but who I’ve been listening to even more lately. His songs have made their way onto “Music of the Month” a couple times already, and I’ll tell you right now that he’s on there this month, too. 🙂 I don’t think he has a single bad song. I have tickets to see him in May, provided corona doesn’t fuck that up, and I’m really excited!

Lauv’s Modern Loneliness – bops. bops. bops. What else can I say? Bops.

Foster the People – ok, this band has such nostalgia for me. Torches was like, all that I listened to in like 2012/13. I hadn’t really listened to them lately, and hadn’t really explored their more recent stuff. But the other day I put on their Spotify playlist and had a dance party to them all afternoon and it made me so fucking happy.

What else I’ve been up to

Spending way too much time on the internet – gotta go ahead and get this one out of the way. I’d love to say that I’ve been super productive and learned a ton of new things and been really creative, but if I’m entirely honest, what I’ve really done is wasted a ton of time on YouTube/Tumblr/TikTok.😬

Drawing – I have gotten some stuff done though! I haven’t used this time for art as much as I’d like, but I’ve been sketching some, and also been playing around with a drawing app… I’ve always been a pencil-and-paper person, but doing it digitally is kinda fun!

My latest project? A vine compilation, of course.😂 Here is the beginnings of it:

Making music – again, not as much as I should be, but I’ve been playing the guitar and singing quite a bit. I’ve been doing it in a very relaxed, just-singing-what-i-want-to kind of way, which is nice. I guess I’ll use this opportunity to plug my Soundcloud (which I rarely post on, oops.)

Working out – I always exercise pretty regularly, but I’ve decided that this is the perfect opportunity to ramp it up a bit. My family and I have been going on walks every day, since that’s the only way we can get out, and I’ve been doing the Chloe Ting 2 Week Shred Challenge. It’s fucking tough, but I’m very excited about getting in shape.

Texting for the Bernie Sanders team – this has been fun! It’s a super-easy way to get involved in a campaign… I’d love to say I could make calls, and I hope to eventually, but it makes me really nervous. But texting is something anyone can do! Basically all campaigns have moved online, so if you have some extra time on your hands, get involved from home, either in a political campaign or something on the activism side of things! You can text, call, do stuff with social media… do it!

Catching up with friends – this one is smaller in terms of how much I’ve been doing it, but I’d just like to remind you that this is a great time to text or call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. I know I often feel weird about just contacting someone out of the blue, but in a strange time such as this I think it is the perfect opportunity to check in with someone and see how they are holding up. Even though we can’t see each other in person, we’ve got to stick together in this tough time and keep up our relationships in a long-distance fashion.

Final thoughts

Okay, that’s all for now! It’s looking like this whole situation is gonna last for a while, so maybe I’ll make another one of these in a few weeks and let you know what else I’ve been up to! I’d just like to end with a little thought: if you are stuck at home and bored and going a little stir-crazy, please remember that we are privileged to be in this situation. There are some people for whom this means that they are out of work, desperate, scared. There are others who are older or immunocompromised who know that getting the virus could be a matter of life or death. Others are not able to work from home and have no choice but to go out every day and risk getting infected. And others have been forced to go home and be quarantined with abusive family members. Even though this is tough for everyone, if your main problem is that you are bored, make sure you put it into perspective and be grateful that that is your biggest worry.

I hope that didn’t sound preachy, but I just think we have to remember that it could be a lot worse. Now, stay safe, stay healthy, and for fuck sake, don’t go out unless you have to. ❤️

#personal #blogging #self isolation #coronavirus #quarantine #my life #disney #the mandalorian #agent carter #high school musical #conan gray #ed sheeran #alec benjamin #lauv #foster the people #bernie #bernie2020 #bernie sanders

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thesunnyshow · 4 years ago

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Name: reya

Writing Blog URL(s): @chu-ni

Age: 19

Nationality: african-british

Languages: english, swahili, korean

Star Sign: libra

MBTI: enfp/entp (it always changes lol)

Favorite color: purple!

Favorite food: i really love chicken burgers

Favorite movie: princess and the frog

Favorite ice cream flavor: vanilla!!

Favorite animal: elephants

Go-to karaoke song: fancy - twice

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? caramel frappe with whipped cream, in general i prefer tea though

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? secretary general at the UN….or an author

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? making anyone agree with me and do what i want them to do

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? ancient egypt!!

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?.....no.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? neither if i could lmfao but i’d go for 100 chicken sized horses

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? the nerd who’s actually really pretty after she gets a cool makeover

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? im not sure about aliens, but i definitely believe in ghosts and spirits.

What are some small things that make your day better? when i can have moments to myself to enjoy my own company. or when someone asks me what i want to eat and they bring it for me 🥺

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? uhm…...probably the fact that i write fanfiction lol..but outside of that! i sing in the shower. and i talk to myself a lot.

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct dream currently, but in the future i want to expand to other groups!

When did you post your first piece? 17th of June 2018.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i can never write just one genre. predominantly i write fluff with a dash of angst for spice simply because i love a story that has an issue and then having that issue be resolved for a happy ending. when i started my blog i was 17, and so i said i wouldn't write smut. now that i'm older im feeling more and more comfortable writing suggestive content at the very LEAST.. so maybe in the future i might write smut, who knows? i like writing fluff because i like making people feel good, but i like adding angst to it because i feel like the contrast between the two is very *chefs kiss* to me.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i only write x readers!

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? i first got tumblr when i was 13 years old and i was a fresh kpop fan lmfao. i wanted somewhere that shared my interests. of course i discovered x reader fics on here and i was in awe, i guess of how much power writers had in contributing to fandom content and keeping readers satiated. i’d always loved to write and so i’d always wanted to start my own writing blog, and for 2 years i did write for other blogs! it wasnt until 2018 that i finally took the leap and decided to start my own, because i wanted to impact people's emotions and take them on a journey through my writing.

What inspires you to write? what inspires me….teen movies, music!! music is a big one for me, and also the books that i read. i also grew up playing otome games so the plots and writing from those influence my writing a lot.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i really enjoy writing royalty!aus as well as exes!aus. i love to do them cause they require me to build a world and with royalty aus specifically i love weaving together bits of political intrigue, or arranged marriages, etc. its so much fun!!

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? that if this world is too rough or too much, you can always escape from it. it might not be physical, but immersing yourself in a universe that's entirely different for a little while can help soothe you.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? usually i try and take breaks. the problem with that is that my breaks can go on for longer than i’d like and im trying to fix that. so my other solution is to read read read!! read as much as i can, or go back to books that i loved. ask myself what i liked about the writing, what are some parts that i thought were amazing examples of good writing - i note them down then see if i can apply that to my own work. another thing i do is take a break from writing my longer, fleshed out works and write blurbs! blurbs are a great way for me to write but not feel like its tedious because i don't have to spend as much time on them and it gets me into the groove of writing without feeling stressed out.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? my favourite piece of work is miscommunication. it took me months to write that, even after i lost all the work halfway through, and its the longest piece of work i have written so far, so its kinda like my baby. my most successful is candy jar. its also the work i owe my blog exposure to - it was the first piece i published, and it was also the first piece of writing i did in around 4 years.

Who is your favorite person to write about? i don't have much out for them, but i really enjoy exploring mark’s and jeno’s characters. they're people, but in my work i enjoy analysing them and judging how they’d act in different contexts.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? the only difference for me is that fanfiction (depending on the fandom) has some of the stuff fleshed out for you already, such as the world its in. if youre the type to write AUs then the only thing you already have is the characters - the planning, the writing, the drafting, and everything else is still the writer's responsibility. therefore there isn't much of a difference between the two for me.

What do you think makes a good story? a good story, to me, is one that takes me on a journey. it could be any genre, but i like to feel immersed and connected to the characters and the world in it. also aside from the obvious, like good grammar, a good story feels natural to read. i don't feel like skim reading half of it.

What is your writing process like? my writing process consists of me getting inspiration - usually from a song, or a film or a book ive read or a game ive played - i note down my idea and who i want the story to be about, and then bullet point the whole story, with some snippets of particular dialogue i want the reader or the other person to say at certain scenes. i then open another document ( i have a writing app on my phone, called werdsmith, so i use that!) and set a word count goal i want to hit so i can track my progress and start writing the fic, with fleshed out language and exposition. when im done (usually after a couple weeks up to a few months, depends on the length of the plan) i read through it to fix any mistakes, then i transfer it to docs so i can read it again and italicise any areas i feel need it.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? i...don't think so. mainly because the original fiction i read and would like to write for myself is predominantly fantasy, whereas the fanfic i write on my blog is usually non-idol, normal fics.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? im a SUCKER for enemies to lovers, royalty ofc, “and they were roommates”, and i think superhero aus are really cool but there isnt enough of them :( idol/you as member aus....not feeling her… also abo/werewolf/vampire aus….not feelin em

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? a LOT. a HUGE amount!! i said before how i like giving my readers somewhere where they can immerse themselves as an escape, even for a short while. hearing about how my work affected them, made them feel, makes me feel less insecure about what im writing and thus more confident to publish it.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i’d say reblogs. and also putting out more content. when i first uploaded candy jar i went to my one of my favourite writers (jaeminlore) and asked her if she'd be okay with reading it and giving feedback. to my surprise she loved it and her reblogging it to all her followers is literally what gave me a bunch of followers all of a sudden who loved what i’d written. to keep that momentum i created more and more content, and while i haven't uploaded as often as i've wanted to or written as much as i’d wanted to, i can say i have a good amount of work on my masterlist for people who are looking for more to read.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 100%. fanfic has an unfair reputation for just having bad writing and cringey fics (and i feel like this is because of the way society views the demographics who predominantly consume and create it), when in reality i feel like those who write fanfiction are extremely talented and selfless people. they're on the internet creating content for free for people to enjoy and like any other work of art they're putting time and effort into it. i think it should be respected. any form of art is going to have its good and bad sides.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? hmmm….yes. i feel it can be a way to reflect the thoughts of people and also be a way to inspire people to do more.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes. sometimes i feel like i'm forcing myself to write because i feel like if i don't then people will forget about me or they’ll forget about my blog. while what i choose to write about is for me, i feel like the speed of my writing and what im writing isn't to the quality i want it to be cause i feel like i gotta get it out for people to read.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? i've never felt that way!

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? only 2 of my friends know, and i only told them like. a week ago!

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? i wish you guys would message me more! i'm quite a sociable person, and i’d love to have regular anons who talk to me 👉🏽👈🏽

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think one common thing amongst all writers is that we write what we want to read. so don't feel like nobody's gonna read your work, cause somebody will. you gotta act like your work is top tier even if someone says it isn't - always write the best you can, and just do it! like don't even give yourself time to overthink it, write that fic, make it look pretty, upload it onto tumblr and do not be afraid to ask your favourite fic writers to read your work once its up!! i’d be happy to read and give feedback for any fic writers as well so don't feel afraid!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? ive been on here for 7 years….i grew up on this site lmfao. but i don't think i regret joining tumblr once.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? shes not very active anymore and i miss her very much but user hyuck-s was so supportive and i love her!!

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

she believed she could, so she did.

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

#@chu-ni #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 32 #nct dream

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ithinkilikeit-reactions · 5 years ago

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K-Pop life lessons (2 year old blog anniverary project)

I believe that music is something that can bring people together. I believe that the musicians we listen too and the things they create can teach us things. This goes for every genre, not just K-Pop. But there is a stigma around K-Pop of it just being men and women dancing around singing about ice cream, rainbows and happiness. It can be that, but it can be incredibly meaningfull and the artists teach us things.

Here are some things I have learned:

Monsta X , BTOB and Seventeen taught me that family isn’t just blood, it can go further than that. Your friends can become your family.

SHINee and VIXX taught me that it’s perfectly fine to go against the grain of what others do. As long as you stay yourself.

Day6 taught me that it’s okay to feel alone sometimes, but in the end you are never truly alone.

Sistar, Girl’s Generation, AOA, Mamamoo etc have taught me that it’s okay to be confident and speak my mind when I feel like I am being done wrong.

Here are some life lessons that other Kpop fans have chosen to share with me

“stray kids taught me that it's perfectly okay to be sad, depressed, or have anxiety because there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and so there's so many people just like me”

-@lysss-xo

“Super Junior taught me how to smile and laugh again after I had spent so much time barley going through the motions.”

-signed, A Shy Male ELF.

“VIXX and BTS taught me that even when you might feel down and think that nothing matters, eventually everything is going to get better.”

- @michelleherrera16

“Day6 taught me that’s it’s okay to go at my own pace and everyone can feel lonely and thats okay Stray Kids thought me that everyone feels lost at some point and going into adulthood is scary and longing to go back to the easier days is normal”

-@its-simply-me19

“BTS taught me that I can't always think about everyone else, I'm young and I have my own dreams to go after. If I need it, I'll take the time to sort my sht out. That's thanks to SUGA's 'Nevermind'. Mikrokosmos made me realize I have a reason for being here right now, and my existence does matter. These two songs had lyrics that pulled me out of suicidal thoughts i'd been dealing with for 6 years. It’s so weird that certain lyrics had that effect on me. Although I still have depression and social anxiety, I’m slowly getting over it. I’m finding myself.”

-@moonkiddionysus17

“This is pretty basic, but BTS and Got7’s Jackson are teaching me to love myself since I hate myself to my core. It’s a long road but I know I’ll get there eventually ❤️⭐️”

-@broken-scene-queens

“I know this isnt strictly what you asked butVixx and esp, Hakyeon inspire me. I see him being a leader and helping his members, vlogging, serving his country, moving out, spending time with friends and family, doing charity work in a very super low key way, being kind, gracious and just a lovely human being and it reminds me that's what I need to be. I want to inspire and carry myself with the level of maturity and grace he has.”

-anon

“Wanna One taught me the right way to life with memories, to not get stuck in the past holding onto memories crying because they're not coming back, instead I've learned to treasure memories and see them as something beautiful without pain, but with a smile on my face.”

-Anon

“VIXX and BTS showed me that there is nothing wrong with being sexually dominant and identifying as a woman -- their subby concepts gave me metaphorical wings. (my name is Coral but I don't have a tumblr I just check yours sorry)”

-Anon

“Monsta x and Dreamcatcher taught me to never give up on your dreams, no matter what anyone says, the amount of pain and heatbreak, or how long it takes. Dreamcatcher specifically taught me that it is okay to start over if what you were doing in your life did not turn out to be what you wanted. Sometimes it takes a little more time to figure yourself out before you are happy. ( Their story of how they went from Minx to Dreamcatcher really inspires me)”

-@brieflycraftycollectoruniverse

“N.flying taught me that it’s okay to be weird, out of the box, and different. Taught me how to accept my weird personality and find others that accepted it as well.”

-anon

“So for me, it was VIXX. They were my first group and they came into my life at the right time. I had hit an all time low with my depression. 'Error' distracted me from the bad in the world and it was through them that I learned that there was still beauty in the world. Their lyrics inspired and Ravi in particularly inspired with his own struggles and his outlooks on life. I don't think I would be here or at least as happy as as stable as I am if it wasn't for them.”

-Anon

“A lot of the groups have fought me the families don’t end in blood, that you can make your own if needed, mainly 17 and Victon”

-🦋 anon

“iKON, EXO, and Monsta X taught me what a real family looks like, and how to support my fam through thick and thin. The most important lesson is that family doesn't end with blood, and sometimes it doesn't even start with blood. After all, the blood from a pact with your real family will always be thicker than the water of the womb.”

-@wynnewriteshq

“Red Velvet didn't really teach me much, but they gave me a reason to smile. Wendy said this on VLIVE a little after RV's 5th anniversary: "I will always be there for you, I will be there even when you leave because you can always come back to me." (paraphrasing) It made me cry a little on the inside because I found them the summer before I started high school. It was really rough but I had their music to make me happy.”

-Anon

“Tbh I got into kpop at a crazy time I'm a young mom and I felt so out of touch with who I am. It was more than one group, but the combination of "fun thing for me " and BTS had just started the love yourself series... it meant the world to me to remind myself that the me that exists under "mom" was worth love too.”

-Anon

“Got7 taught me that it's okay to have fun while chasing your dreams and ambitions. You're not doing anything wrong while having fun cause you're still on the path you wanna go. Even if there are people that don't believe in your dreams remember that you're doing for yourself, not for them. Do what makes you happy.”

-@ahgasedaa-mark

“Blackpink taught me to be the badass woman i am today. I think without them i would still be in my shell of depression and fear. Got7 didnt teach me anything they saved my life. Their music calms me and makes me feel loved with saying how beautiful, amazing, and perfect you are in their lyrics. I know it may sound cliche but their music has helped me a lot feel beautiful and good about myself. Bts did the same. both got7 and bts had taught me that i deserve better. They became my safe space when i have panic attack. They both helped me get me out of sexually abusive relationship and helped me gain the friends i have today. I have great friends that arent toxic and a closer relationship with my mom. I even met my boyfriend because without got7 and bts words i would have never gotten out of my house, get on dating sights, and go to japan. They have helped me immensely when i used to be shut in.”

-@kpopluvwriter

“RM of BTS reminded me that I love writing poetry to express the things I can't tell anyone. TOP of BIGBANG showed me that someone with anxiety issues can still do anything. Most of all, most of the groups I love have given me a community I can trust with more than just Kpop stuff- I feel safe telling fellow Kpop stans that I'm trans and nonbinary because I've seen such a supportive and loving community here.”

-Anon

“Kpop fan culture has taught me that you will always have a friend if you need one. Also that if someone is in distress another WILL come to help. Stray Kids, Bts, Seventeen etc.: have taught me that it’s okay to love myself and that if they love me I should love myself too.”

-@skylarrae168

“Stray kids taught me to never give up no matter how long it's going to take, it's okay to take your time and that no matter what I'm going through everything is going to be okay. Bts taught me that's it's okay to not have a dream and to just do whatever makes me happy and they also taught me how to be myself...like I should be always be myself and that there is nothing 'wrong' with me...if that make sense”

-@paigsa

“Kpop has taught me a lot of things subtly over the past couple years. But the ones I can really pick out are that. It taught me how not to give up on life when things get tough but just step back. It taught me how and when to cut out toxic people from my life. It taught me that I can still do so much despite my mental health and that my mental illnesses don't define me. It's also inspired me to start drawing again after a long bout of art block.”

-@z-stitch

“Kpop as a whole has taught me to be myself, to live more creatively and not to hide anymore.”

-@harmonal

Alot of these brought me to tears and I am so glad you all decided to participate in this and I really appreciate it. Please stick with me for the years to come ♥

#ithinkilikeit-reaction blog project #apink #bts #blackpink #day6 #stray kids #exo #mamamoo #sistar #exid #clc #kpop #btob #seventeen #got7 #vixx #shinee

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mayquita · 6 years ago

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Pictures of Reality (14/16)

Happy New Year everyone! Thank you so much for all your support and for continuing to give this story a chance.

Summary: Emma Swan returns to her birthplace, Storybrooke, in search of a fresh start after a life marked by abandonment and betrayal. After a year there, she finds the stability she needed and also the possibility of learning about one of her passions, photography. Killian Jones, a former British war reporter with a tragic past, establishes himself in the same town as an instructor of photography, following in the footsteps of his best friends, the Nolans. What will happen when their paths cross? Will their common passion for photography help them heal old wounds?

Rating: M (Language, mature themes, implied sex)

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, mentions of the loss of a limb in an armed conflict.

Other ships / Characters: Although, obviously, this is a cs fic, Snowing plays a major role here, mainly David. In fact, the story contains three different points of view, those of Emma, Killian and David. Also, Henry appears in the story as Regina’s adopted son but he is not Emma’s biological son.

Beta: I’d like to express my gratitude, as always, to my beta @jarienn972 I’m aware that you have had to deal with a monster of more than 100k words and English is not my mother tongue, so I value your effort even more.

Artist / art: Go visit @imagnifika’s blog and enjoy her amazing art.

Art for the prologue/ Art for chapter 1 / Art for chapter 2 and banner / Art for chapter 3/ Art for chapters 4-5 / Art for chapters 6-7/ Art for chapter 8 / Art for chapter 10 / Art for chapter 11

Special mention to @saraswans , thank you so much for your perpetual support, for believing in me when I doubted myself and for offering ideas to make this story grow.

Don’t forget to go read and enjoy the rest of the amazing csbb stories and art.

Word count: ~ 4100 (116k total in 16 chapters)

Also on (From the beginning): Ao3 / Ffnet (Current Chapter) Ao3 / Ffnet

Tumblr: Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

What to expect from this chapter? We’ll see how the relationship between Emma and Killian develops now that there is no longer any secret between them. Besides, will Emma be able to forgive The Nolans eventually?

CHAPTER 13

Emma Swan. Storybrooke - May 6, 2018

There was something intrinsic in the fact of dating a professional photographer, any excuse was appropriate to take out the camera and portray the world through it. Whether it was walking out holding hands but stopping every few minutes to immortalize the arrival of the blossoming spring to Storybrooke. Or spending a lazy Sunday morning under the sheets of her (their) bed, taking selfies and competing for who would get the most awful grimace (he always beat her, the dork).

Other mornings, however, Killian felt an impulse of creativity that made him wake up at dawn and grab the camera to satisfy his need to make art. He always told her that she was the one to blame, that she had become his muse and source of inspiration. And that her apartment was located in one of the best places in Storybrooke, at least at that time of the day, when the sun's rays fell directly on her window and made her glow - literally — his words.

From that morning after the first time-make up night, she had learned to secretly love those days. There was no doubt that Killian had become an expert in making the most of her potential and in making her feel powerful, able to achieve whatever she set out to do, whether it was getting a good close-up in a photo or leaving all her inhibitions behind to become a sexy improvised model.

She knew that today was one of Killian's creative days when she woke up alone in bed that Sunday morning in early May.

"Good morning, love. Are you up for a photo shoot?" Killian asked from his favorite place in the room for these occasions, her (their) old armchair.

She ignored him at first, stretching arms and legs, too lazy to leave the bed just yet. Something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye though, one of his button-up shirts, the black one made of a silky fabric, hanging on the back of a chair. Suddenly, the idea of the soft fabric sliding over her naked torso was too appealing to let it pass. After all, she also had her creative side, right?

She got up right away with a new purpose in mind, grabbing the shirt on her way to the bathroom and stopping only for a second to give Killian a quick peck on the cheek. "Just wait here." She murmured as she winked at him and kept walking without waiting for his reaction.

Once in the bathroom, she put on the shirt, which by chance, matched her tiny panties in color, leaving the buttons open and the sleeves rolled up to the middle of the arm. Next, she washed her face and brushed her teeth, put on her contacts and applied a light layer of lip gloss. Finally, she brushed her hair to add an extra shine to her golden locks. Once satisfied with her reflection in the mirror, she returned to the bedroom, ready to give a show to her boyfriend.

Before climbing back to bed, she cast a sidelong glance at Killian. Seeing him that way, positioned in a corner of the bedroom, camera in hand, as if waiting for his prey, ignited a spark of lust inside her, eliminating any possible previous reluctance as she offered him what he was looking for.

She sat back on her heels with her back to him, letting the shirt slide down one of her shoulders, leaving it bare. She turned her head slightly, giving him a seductive look over that shoulder, while putting the tip of her index finger between her teeth.

"Bloody hell, woman." He growled from behind his camera, making her almost lose her pose in an attempt to prevent an incipient smirk from drawing on her lips.

She let him take a few pictures, staying in that position with only slight changes. Then, following his instructions, she tried a new posture, this time sitting in front of him, leaving the shirt open enough to reveal only a glimpse of her curves.

There was something impossibly appealing in Killian's stance, a mixture of professionalism as he helped himself, holding the camera with his stump and watching her through the lens with a clinical eye. But there was also something more primal, only revealed when his eyes slid from the visor to her body, offering her a hungry look that had the ability to make her skin tingle with anticipation. The fact that he was shirtless and that his pajama pants did nothing to hide his arousal, far from deconcentrating her in her improvised task of posing for him, caused her postures to become much more suggestive and her gaze to be much more provocative.

The photo shoot ended earlier than expected though. Before she could react, Killian was over her, capturing her mouth in a searing kiss with the ability to take her breath away. She resisted, still reluctant to finish the seduction game that she was enjoying too much.

"I wanna see those pictures." She managed to ask as she tried to reach for the camera Killian had dropped on the bed.

"Later." He mumbled pressing even more against her, his teeth playfully nipping at her bottom lip.

Her resolution began to dissolve as she held back a moan bubbling in her throat, her blood running hot and spreading a burning sensation all over her body.

Still, she tried again, distracting him with the first thing that came to mind, while she reached for the camera. "I'd like to choose one of those photos to upload to Instagram. Or maybe I'm not allowed to share photos of half-naked women either?" Although her voice came in a shaky exhale she hoped to have endowed it with enough innocence.

He raised his head looking for her gaze, the blue of his eyes almost gone. "Two things, darling. First, you are allowed to upload whatever you want to the bloody Instagram. And second, I'm really tempted to share the marvel I've got for girlfriend with the rest of the world, but I prefer to keep you to myself."

"Just for the record, you are not allowed to share photos of your naked girlfriend on Instagram. Although maybe I wouldn’t be opposed to the photo with the bare shoulder…” The diversionary maneuver was enough for her to finally grab the camera and sneak out of his arms. "It's my turn, now. So go and pose for me, Jones."

Killian's eyebrows went together in confusion, as if he had not yet processed what had just happened. When he finally seemed to realize what she was planning, his eyes widened. "You can’t be serious, love."

She stood up, moving away from his reach, holding the camera in the most professional way possible. "I assure you I am, buddy."

"Look at me, Swan." He complained through a hiss as he pointed his hand at his more than prominent tent in his pants.

"I learned from the best, professor." A spark of interest appeared in his eyes, while he gave her a predatory look. "Give me your best, Killian, and I promise you will have your reward, later." A wave of heat flowed to her core, in anticipation of what he would be able to do, as she bit her bottom lip and watched Killian through the lens.

She definitely loved her life now.

Gone were those times when she had no choice but to share her photos with herself, or when she had to settle for taking selfies or taking pictures of random people in the streets, since no one had stayed around her long enough for her to reveal her passion.

Now photography was present in practically all facets of her life, but Emma wasn't going to be the one to complain, not when the fact of living surrounded by photos implied that Killian's image was always present, even though they were physically separated at some points.

It was not that they were separated for long, really. From the moment they had made peace, resuming their relationship, she had begun to add new routines to her life, in which Killian was always included.

Now, two months later, they spent most of the nights sleeping together in her apartment. That first night of make-up sex had been the prelude to many ardent nights, full of passion, nights where they buried their inhibitions while discovering all the secrets of their bodies and the magic that they were able to create together.

The dark room of his apartment, a witness of his first kiss, now also hid the secret of insatiable encounters, the faint red light causing the flame of lust to ignite at the very moment when the door closed behind them.

But dating Killian Jones not only meant enjoying the best sex of her life, it was more, much more. If she had already fallen for him despite his stormy gaze and the burden he carried in his very soul, now that he was dropping layer after layer, revealing his true essence, Emma's feelings towards him had grown with such an intensity that she sometimes felt a kind of vertigo seizing her.

That feeling could be overwhelming at times, but she had stopped being afraid to feel and express her feelings towards others. It was as if, once she had admitted that she loved Killian (at least to herself as it was still too early to express those words aloud) the walls around her heart had finally fallen down, leaving before her a new and unexplored path, with some dangers lurking, but also full of promises.

For the first time in a long time, she could say that she felt happy, experiencing a normal life, hanging out with her friends, going out with her boyfriend, or going to double dates with the other new couple in town, Elsa and Graham. She had even begun to consider the possibility of not keeping photography as a mere hobby but of continuing to expand her knowledge in an official manner.

There was a small parcel of her heart that still remained closed though, its access almost impenetrable. Her parents. Two months later, she hadn't been able to forgive them yet, the betrayal in the form of a bleeding wound still too fresh.

That was not entirely true, she had indeed forgiven them for having given her up for adoption, even though she hadn't felt strong enough to hear the full story.

What had hurt her most had been their later behavior, the fact that, in the first place, they had taken advantage of Killian's blind loyalty to them, and also that they hadn't trusted in their own daughter to tell her the truth and would have been content to stay by her side as mere friends.

Killian had tried to bring up the subject several times, always tentatively, knowing that he shouldn’t push or he would end up getting the opposite effect.

She appreciated those attempts, she really did, because she was aware that he not only did it for his friends, but also for her because, according to him, she deserved to have all the love in the world - especially that of her own family after so many years without it. But it was as if something inside her, like a protective instinct, prevented her from taking that first step that would bring her closer to them.

But she was frankly tired of that situation, tired of the fact that each time she entered her bedroom, even if she tried to ignore it with all her strength, her gaze inevitably landed for a few seconds on the closet door that hid the box containing fragments of her past in the form of a handful of letters.

She also felt bad for Killian, for the fact that he had to compartmentalize his life in such a way that his girlfriend and his best friends —his family— didn't coincide in the same place. He had not stopped seeing them, she did not have the heart to even think about it, but he clearly proceeded with caution, afraid to say or do something in relation to them that could affect her. It was unfair to him.

Since David's visit to her apartment, she had barely met them, only on occasion had she run into them while walking down the street, or had they met by chance at Granny's, generating such an awkward situation she sometimes ended up crossing to the other side of the street to avoid them, or swallowed her food quickly in a desperate attempt to spend as little time as possible under the same roof as them.

Deep down, she was aware that it was up to her to end this situation once and for all. Sooner or later, she would have to trust them, at least to let them explain themselves. The idea of being able to add another level of normalcy to her life, including her family, was also becoming more appealing. The problem? She hadn't the faintest idea how to do it without getting even more damaged in the process.

Maybe it would be a good idea to start with small steps, such as not running away each time she met any of them.

David Nolan. Storybrooke - May 8, 2018

"How is she?" David asked Killian, knowing in advance that the answer would be the same as the one from the previous day.

"She's fine, Dave." Killian always answered like that, in an almost apologetic way. Then he would go on to tell him some small detail related to his daughter, with the simple purpose of getting him to keep her close, even if it was indirectly.

They had agreed to meet at Granny's for lunch, like every Tuesday since Killian had started the new course. In fact, Killian was busier than ever. It seemed that his talent was beginning to be recognized on this side of the ocean and more and more people were interested in learning through him everything related to the world of photography, expanding to the point that he had decided to start a free online course so that any interested person could acquire the basic knowledge. Art and talent do not understand money , it was one of his mottos, which he put into practice whenever he had the chance.

Even so, he always managed to share moments with his friends. Tuesday lunch had become a tradition added to the already existing ones, such as Sunday lunch in David's apartment, breakfast with Mary Margaret on Mondays and Thursdays and his sporadic collaborations in the newspaper.

It was evident that Killian was making great efforts to keep their relationship intact despite what happened with Emma. He couldn't be more grateful for it, but that also meant adding even more burden to the guilt he endured. His actions should not affect his friend in that way.

"She is seriously considering quitting the job and starting to study to become a journalist." Killian's voice brought him back to reality. The pride evident in the words of his friend, matching the one he felt. "You know that from what happened, her relationship with Regina has not been the same again. If she keeps the job, it's just for Henry, frankly."

"I guess it runs in her blood." David could not help but smile at the thought of his daughter following in her father's footsteps. "And as for Regina, you already know that my relationship with her has always been complicated. But she found our daughter after all, so I guess in a way, I'll always be in debt to her." He admitted, although he was still angry at her for being the one to confess the truth without caring about the consequences.

"It was Emma who found her way back to Storybrooke in the first place. Regina only offered her a way to stay." Killian replied in a harsh tone, not bothering to hide his dislike for the mayor. He did not blame him, honestly. Regina's action had caused his relationship with Emma to nearly end.

The little bells above Granny's entrance door announced the arrival of a new client, capturing the attention of both friends, who were sitting at the counter.

David's heart skipped a beat when he realized that it was Emma the one who had just arrived, as if she had somehow been summoned. When her gaze met him, she remained still for a moment, her eyes wide in surprise.

David could not prevent a sigh of resignation from escaping his lips. He was not surprised by her reaction, it had always been the same in recent weeks. He even anticipated what would happen next. She would approach Killian, murmur any excuse and leave in a few seconds.

In fact, once the initial impact was overcome, she began to walk with hesitant steps towards their position. David cast a sidelong glance at his friend, who also seemed equally surprised at her presence there. He was looking at Emma as if there were no one else in the room, though, with a special glow in his eyes that had only begun to appear since he met Emma.

She barely had time to get to their side when Killian got up and greeted her with a kiss on the lips maybe less chaste than it should be appropriate in a public place. David looked away discreetly, still uncomfortable at such public displays of affection. Killian might be his best friend, almost like a son to him, but, in spite of everything, in his eyes, Emma was still like his little girl.

"Hi guys," Emma said after separating from Killian, a small smile adorning her lips, while she offered him a shy look. "I didn't want to interrupt you, I just forgot it was Tuesday."

This is new, at least she hasn’t ignored my existence, David thought as he tried not to read too much in her reaction. She was just surprised to see them, that was it. Even so, he decided to offer her an escape route so that she would not be involved in any kind of uncomfortable situation.

"I should go..."

"No," Emma cut him off, looking back at him. "I mean... it's not necessary. It's your day together, guys. I just came to grab something to eat... It's an excuse, actually, Regina was especially picky today. I needed a break." Emma was rambling, clearly nervous about the unexpected encounter, but at least it seemed that she was doing her part to keep a civilized conversation, so he was going to grab onto that even if it was the only thing she could offer at the moment.

"I can relate, Regina may be difficult to deal with sometimes." David offered in what he hoped was a carefree tone, but even so, he held his breath, waiting for Emma's reaction.

"Just sometimes?" Killian snapped, making an exaggerated grimace of disdain, causing a chuckle on David and a giggle on Emma, who took advantage of Killian's absent-mindedness to steal one of his onion rings.

"Hey, those are mine, get your own." Killian huffed, putting his hand and prosthesis over the plate in a protective manner while making a pout, which caused a new attack of laughter from Emma.

David remained there in awe, observing the scene without even daring to participate for fear of breaking the moment. She seemed so relaxed, so happy, that he had to repress the need to take a picture and immortalize the moment for eternity, his heart thudding in his chest.

After stealing another onion ring from her boyfriend, she caught the attention of one of the waitresses to place her order and then returned to them.

"So, Killian just told me you're thinking about starting to study to become a journalist, Emma." David commented tentatively, in an attempt to make that magical moment last a little longer.

"Yeah. I'd start in September. I guess it's something I've always wanted to do, taking pictures and telling stories." She shrugged, the corners of her sides twisting upward.

"It's a good idea. You know, anything you need, you can count on us." He offered, trusting her to grasp the true meaning of his words.

"Thank you." Emma nodded, her cheeks flushed slightly, while she held his gaze for a few seconds. The moment passed soon, though, as she refocused her attention on Killian.

His friend wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close, as if he, with that simple gesture, was supporting her in some way, making her feel safe. Then Killian gave him an appreciative look, while nodding almost imperceptibly.

David was not sure that he would live long enough to thank his friend for all that he was doing for his family, making Emma happy and trying to build bridges between them. He only hoped that this was the first of many advances that would come in the future.

When Emma left a few minutes later, she turned around just before she reached the exit door, offering David a soft smile, causing the flame of hope in his heart to look brighter than ever. He couldn't wait to tell Mary Margaret.

Killian Jones. Storybrooke - May 9, 2018

Killian decided to spend the next morning locked in the darkroom developing photos, taking advantage of the fact that he had the morning off and that Emma would be working, which meant that she would not be a distraction this time.

Even so, he wasn't able to fully concentrate on the task. That room had already witnessed several amorous encounters between them although for him, the most important memory shared with her in this place would always be their first kiss.

Killian grabbed a photograph with the tweezers to extract it from the development liquid and hung it delicately on the rope he had placed for that purpose in a corner of the room. He couldn't stop his lips from drawing a smile when he observed the smiling face of Emma in that image. The memories of the previous day, when she had been relaxed for the first time in front of David came to his mind then, warming his heart.

Just when he was about to carry out the same process with the next picture, his phone started buzzing on the table. Unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, can I speak with Mr. Jones, please?" A polite, female voice asked from the other side of the phone.

"That would be me. Who is calling?" He replied cautiously while he held his breath. There was something in the woman’s tone that made him uneasy.

"I'm calling from Storybrooke's General Hospital, sir, since you were listed as one of David Nolan's emergency contacts and we haven't been able to locate his wife..."

"She is a teacher, she’s working right now." Killian cut who he supposed was a nurse off. At the same moment he had heard the word hospital, all his senses were on alert, while his heart beat frantically against his chest. "What happened?" He forced himself to ask in a controlled voice, holding the phone tightly against his ear.

"Uh, I'm afraid that Mr. Nolan has been involved in an accident. He was hit by a car..."

No.

A paralyzing panic crawled up his throat while his ears stopped working properly, preventing him from listening to the woman who was still offering him details. Swallowing hard, he forced himself to take a deep breath, letting out the air slowly through his nose in a desperate attempt to keep his composure.

"...he seems to be out of danger, but given that he has lost consciousness..."

"I'm on my way. Thanks for informing me." Killian cut the poor nurse again, feeling bad for a few seconds since she had been kind enough to him, but he could not waste more time, needed to take action before a new wave of panic gripped him.

He clenched his jaw and blocked any disturbing thoughts, burying any memory of the past that could take advantage of that moment of weakness to beat him.

Instead, he set himself a goal - pick up Mary Margaret on his way to the hospital and make sure his friend would be okay. He didn't contemplate any other option.

With that goal in mind, he grabbed his phone and wallet and left his apartment, cursing himself for not yet having been able to purchase an adapted vehicle that would allow him to get to his friend sooner. Instead, he had to literally run to school while wondering how he was going to break the news to Mary Margaret. Only at that moment did he remember that he also had to give the news to another person and his heart sank in the process. He would have to inform Emma that her father had suffered an accident.

Thanks for reading. Let me know what did you all think :)

There are only two chapters to go, the final chapter and the epilogue, so whatever happens to David, it can't be so bad, I'm not that cruel, am I? Also, Emma will read the letters, finally!

#cs ff #cs au #csbb #captain swan #captain swan ff #mayquita writes #my cs writings #pictures of reality #cs au ff #csbb 2018

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kathrynmaslow · 6 years ago

Text

Love Lies 14/15

Summary: Ever since Emma was 13, she knew she had the ability to destroy people if she wanted to, and some days, she really wanted to. After being forced to go to Greenwood Academy following a traumatizing event in her childhood that brought to the surface her ability to manipulate fire, she never thought she would be free of the place. So for nearly 10 years, she lived a solitary existence with the exception of her best friends, but that was all about to change.

Killian Jones had just been sentenced to attend the university campus at Greenwood Academy after an accident at sea caused him to be dishonorably discharged from Her Majesty’s royal Navy and lose his hand. He doesn’t know what to think about these newfound powers and what they spell for the rest of his now not-so-normal life. But a chance encounter one day has the ability to change all of that.

A story about love and redemption between two people that shows, if you have the right person beside you, you can find a light in the darkness.

Rating: M

Content Warnings: Mentions of Violence/Death, Brief mention of Childhood Abuse/Sexual Assault, Mild Sexual Content.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE/DEATH, BRIEF MENTION OF CHILDHOOD ABUSE/SEXUAL ASSULT.

Chapter Notes: We are almost at the end, One more chapter after this one! Can’t believe this experience is coming to a close. As you can probably guess we are going to be wrapping up a lot of loose ends. Just as a word of warning, the content warnings play a big role here, mainly in the flashbacks of Emma and Killian’s past, so I want to give you a heads up. The mention of childhood abuse/sexual assault is in Emma’s flash back, and I will mark it separately so that you could skip over that part if it really isn’t something that you want to read or could be triggering. As always thanks to @daveyjacobsthepotterhead for being a lovely beta reader and for @princesse-swan for all the amazing art. Check out her full story artwork for this story here!

Read on FF

Catch up on Tumblr: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen

Art by @princesse-swan here, here and here

Chapter 14

The next couple of days passed in a blur to Emma.

After David had joined her that night and drank through half a bottle of rum with her, she had finally told him about what had happened to her after the battle.

How she was locked down on the ICE block, thankful again to August for leaving her without any suppression gear so that way she would survive her time there. About her fight with Killian after she had left David and Liam the other day. The horrible things he had said to her.

Thinking back on what he actually said to her wasn’t actually that bad, but the fact that he insinuated that she had purposely done something to get herself thrown onto the ICE block was what had really set her off.

But David had been a true brother, holding her while she cried onto his shirt and listening to her while she poured her broken heart out to him.

She didn’t think that Killian had tried to hurt her on purpose, but it didn’t change the fact that he did hurt her, and she needed some time to figure herself out again before she could see him, let alone talk to him.

After that night though, she had made it her mission to go out of her way to avoid him. She made sure that she didn’t hang out with her friends any longer than necessary, at least when David was with them.

She knew that David and Killian had gotten close since she introduced them, and she didn’t want to be a friction point in their relationship either.

So she spent a lot of girls days with Ruby and Mary Margaret, who she was finally getting along with on better terms than before.

It was fine, having some longer girls days with her friends, she felt like she had been neglecting them since she started her relationship with Killian, until it wasn’t fine.

Mary Margaret and Emma were sitting in the corner of the dining commons with their text books spread out in front of them, attempting to study for Ethics again.

None of them had done poorly on that first exam earlier in the semester, but it was a class that everyone in her little friend group seemed to be struggling with.

Mary Margaret chewed on the end of her pencil nervously, her eyes flicking to Emma every couple of seconds.

She finally couldn’t take it anymore, “What?” She asked, unnecessarily harsh.

“We are just worried about you Emma.” She said, like she was trying to explain something sad to a child.

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to.” She said, turning back to her study guide.

“Things between you and Killian weren’t bad, and everything was probably blown out of proportion-” Mary Margaret started, but Emma really wasn’t in the mood to be lectured.

“Look, I really don’t want to talk about this.” Emma said, not looking up from her study guide.

“But you won’t talk to anyone about it!” Mary Margaret exclaimed, startling both herself and Emma. Emma looked at her in surprise. Seeing that she had her friends attention, Mary Margaret continued, “You won’t talk to me, you won’t talk to Ruby. David thinks he did something to offend you because you are avoiding him now too. And you sure as hell won’t talk to Killian.”

“And what would I have to talk to him about.” She asked, still in a bit of shock from her friends tirade.

“I don’t know, how about starting with the weather, and seeing where it goes from there.” Mary Margaret said, frustration clear in her voice. “I don’t know, maybe you will end up talking about your relationship, which really needs work.”

Emma stared at her friend in disbelief. She had never heard the mild mannered woman speak to any of them this way.

Mary Margaret continued, “But don’t listen to me, your friend who only has your best interests at heart. Oh no, don’t listen to me at all, because you don’t want to own up to and face what I am saying, because it hurts.”

“Yes, it does hurt, because I trusted him. I don’t trust people very often, you know this. But I trusted him, and he broke that trust. And I can’t forgive that.” Emma said.

Mary Margaret stood up and gathered her books.

“Where are you going?” Emma asked, suddenly feeling very small.

“Somewhere else. You obviously don’t want to be around anyone right now. I thought I would make your life a little easier.” She said, slinging her bag over her shoulders and walking out.

Emma watched her leave in open mouth shock.

A few people were looking in her direction as well, wondering what had happened to cause the outburst. They all looked away when they noticed Emma looking around.

Emma squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears well up unexpectedly. She wrapped her arms around the back of her head and squeezed, trying to get her emotions under control.

She didn’t like feeling this out of control.

It didn’t work, because the sobs boiled up anyway. So Emma laid her head down on the table and wept.

.o.O.o.

Killian was wandering around campus, seeing if he could stumble upon Emma along the way.

He wouldn’t go so far as to say that he was actively looking for her, but he wanted to run into her all the same.

He just didn’t know how he was going to face her after the horrible things he had said to her.

And if David had gone so far as to punch him in response to what words he so carelessly threw at her the last time they spoke, when all she was trying to do was comfort him, he deserved her avoiding him and never agreeing to talk to him ever again.

But if Killian was anything, he was still a gentleman, and he felt the need to apologize to Emma, even if it wouldn’t fix everything.

As he made his way through the library to the third floor to find a book that he needed to read for his literature class next week, his luck seemed to turn in his favor.

Emma was sitting at one of the back tables, her back to him and headphones on, drawing.

Killian took a deep breath to steady himself before he pushed through the doors leading to that section.

Deciding to forgo looking for his book first, he slowly made his way over to where she was sitting.

As he got closer, he caught a glimpse of what she was drawing over her shoulder, and it stopped him short.

It was a picture of him. Well, both of them actually.

The only spot of color on the page was a small flame in Emma’s hands, lighting up the two of them. It looked like the male figure in the painting was crouched over, with tendrils of darkness seeming to pour out of him and surround the two of them. The male’s face was turned up towards the female figure, who was bending down to shine her light on his face.

Emma’s hair, as it was clearly her in the rendering, was blowing around her on an unseen wind, the darkness weaving amongst the tresses. A small smile was gracing her face as she reached down and touched a hand to the male’s shoulder.

The darkness had moved away from that hand, pushed away by Emma’s light.

He shook his head to clear it. The drawing was mesmerizing indeed, but he needed to try and get his thoughts into order before he said something to her again that he would regret. Again.

He moved around her, giving her enough space so that she would see him around and he wouldn’t startle her.

Emma looked up at him in a bit of surprise, moving to take the headphones off her ears.

He spoke before she could say anything. “Is it alright if I join you?”

“Yeah, sure.” She said, tucking her headphones around her neck.

Killian pulled the chair out across from her and sat down.

Now that he was sitting in front of her, all of the words that he wanted to say to her evaporated from his mind. He clenched his hand around his blunted wrist and stared down at the table.

His legs began bouncing under the table with nervous energy.

He could feel Emma’s eyes on him for a long minute before she sighed and Killian heard her pull her headphones over her ears again.

He listened to the rhythmic scratch of the pencil against the paper as she drew and hummed under her breath to herself for a few minutes, before she stopped where she was at and sighed.

“Can I say something?” She asked.

He looked up to see her folding the notebook shut and setting it aside.

“I wanted to say I was sorry.” She said, looking him in the eyes.

He could feel the confusion written on his face. If anyone should have apologized it was him. He said as much.

“I won’t argue with you there, but we both said stuff that we didn’t mean and I overreacted, both times.” She said, alluding to the first time they had an argument when he forced her to try and tell him what had happened to her.

Curious, he asked “What do you mean?”

“I think it’s time I finally told you about how I started at Greenwood.”

o.O.o

Emma watched as Killian’s eyebrows shot up his forehead.

“Swan, you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do. You told me enough about what happened to you, and so much has happened between us that I, I think I do.”

He watched her expectantly.

“So, this isn’t any easy story for me to tell.” She said, wringing her hands together nervously. “Only David knows this whole story, not Mary Margaret, not Ruby. So you are going to have to give me a minute.”

“Okay. So. Um, I first discovered my powers when I was 12.” She said, closing her eyes.

She could still remember that day in such vivid details.

The curtains in her bedroom were swaying gently in the breeze coming through the windows. It was finally getting warm enough out that her mother had said they could finally start keeping the windows open and Emma had pressed the full advantage, throwing all of the windows as far open as she could.

She was sitting at her desk, practicing drawing the figurine that the art teacher at her school had given her to practice drawing people’s bodies when she first started hearing it.

It sounded like someone was stumbling through the house. Cabinets were being opened and shut, and it sounded like someone had bumped into the table in the hallway leading to her mother and stepfather’s room and knocked the picture over.

Her Mother and brother were out at his baseball game, but they had mentioned that her stepfather would be home before they were able to make it.

She had never been fond of the man who had married her free-spirited mother and chained her to his side.

It seemed to Emma like something in her mother died after she had married him.

“Papa?” She called out, opening her bedroom door and peering out towards the main house. Emma had never wanted to call him dad, he could never replace the kind hearted man who had helped raise her until he passed away 4 years ago when she was 8.

The loud, lurching steps picked up again and her stepfather appeared at the end of the hallway, leading to where hers and Sean’s rooms were.

“There’s the little bitch.” Her step-father said. Something wasn’t right.

“Your step father was an alcoholic.” Killian said, jolting her from the memory.

“A horrible one,” She responded, “but no one but Sean will acknowledge it in the family.”

He lurched unsteadily down the hallway towards her, and she stumbled back into her room. He had shown some odd behaviors towards her before, like watching her and her friends playing a little too closely while they were over at the house to the point of where mother had yelled at him to knock it off, but nothing like what was happening now.

“You always have to disrespect me in front of my friends, don’t you? Can never show me any respect or acknowledge the fact that i run this household.” He said, leaning in towards her, his reeking breath in her nose, in her mouth.

“What?” She stammered out, pushing further away from him and against her bed.

MENTION OCCURS BELOW THIS POINT

“It’s time I teach you some manners.” He said, grabbing the front of her shirt and pulling her into him.

She frantically moved to push away from him, pushing at his chest and stomach with her fists.

He was too strong though, and his fist tore through her shirt. “There you are.” He said.

Sobbing.

Emma was sobbing.

His body loomed over her as he pushed her down onto her bed, and his hands were everywhere. All over her chest, and legs and pulling at the waist of her pants.

The tears were beginning to fade as she was becoming more and more numb to what was happening to her.

But all of a sudden she felt all of the weight of his body on top of her and she was angry, she was mad that this was happening to her.

MENTION OVER, CONTINUE READING HERE.

The rage barreled through her like a storm, and she wanted to explode into a white hot ball of flame.

Then he was screaming, terrible horrible screams as flames clung to him as he shoved off of her.

They burned through his clothes and his skin started to blacken as the flames that wouldn’t go out began to consume him.

Emma was watching him in shock. She couldn’t process what was happening. She reached out for him on instinct and she noticed the flames burning around her hands. They didn’t burn her, but she could feel the heat rolling off of them.

She looked away from her hands as she heard a crash.

He was still trying to put the flames out as they continued to burn him.

He grabbed onto those beautiful curtains still swaying in the breeze and in an instant they went up in flames as her step fathers charred body slumped to the floor before the window.

Emma screamed as her entire room began to get engulfed in flames. She couldn’t make the fire in her hands stop, it just kept burning. Hot, steaming tears poured down her face. She couldn’t make it stop.

The flames began to roar around her louder.

“Emma!!!! EMMA!!!” She heard someone yell from somewhere else in the house.

Her mother came barreling into the room, but stopped and stood back when she saw the flames burning at her daughter’s hands. The charred remains of her second husband on the floor in front of the window where the curtains had been blowing in the breeze. Now ashes just floated on the wind.

Emma’s mother screamed in horror.

Horror at what she had done.

It was her brother who had inevitably pulled her from the house when her mother turned and ran from her.

“Emma.” Killian said as she came back to the present.

“I was taken to juvie the next day after they had released me from the hospital. They released me into protective custody a month later, since they didn’t know how to handle someone with my particular gifts at jail. I wasn’t volatile, I had no problem with flares, right from the start, but they didn’t know what to do with a 12 year old who had just burned her step father alive.”

Emma thought back to those days with her custody family. The father had a gift to manipulate wind, giving him the ability to smother any flames she could have possibly produced. He was a corrections officer at the prison as well, which made him the best possible match for her. He took her under her wing and they actually became fast friends during the time they spent together. The courts had relieved him of his duty at the prison to stay home and care for her. He helped her learn a bit about her powers, because no one had explained what had happened to her yet, and after getting over her fear of him in the beginning, she grew to trust and care for him. She cried when she was taken away from him. He cried watching her get dragged away from him too.

“And after a long trial, where my mother essentially disowned me from the family, I was sent here.” She finished. They figured it was the best place for her, because while she showed stunning control over such violent powers at such a young age, she had killed someone, even in self defense. And they couldn’t get around the fact that it made her High Risk, no matter what they did to try and figure something else. She was stuck until Riggans said she wasn’t.

And that would never happen.

Killian was just staring at her, an expression she couldn’t identify on his face, and it was starting to freak her out a bit.

“You don’t have to say anything.” She said, “I know it’s all kinds of fucked up, but it’s my story. And one of these days I just have to own that.”

Killian reached out with his hand and wrapped his fingers around where her left ones were drumming on the table.

He squeezed her fingers and looked at her with a soft smile on his face. “I Love You.”

o.O.o

The look on Emma’s face when he said that was something he won’t ever forget. The way her face lit up and all traces of sadness from her story drained away.

“What?” She asked, a bit of a disbelieving laugh in her voice.

“You don’t have to say anything back, in fact, I don’t expect you to say anything back. But I just thought you should know that.” He said, still holding onto her left hand.

Emma’s lips pinched together in the way that surely meant that she was going to say something, but he cut her off.

“Besides, it’s time I finally told you what happened to me as well.” He looked right into her eyes, “Fair’s fair and all.”

Emma nodded, turning her hand around so that they could better hold hands on top of the table.

He thought back, not really sure how to begin his tale.

Emma squeezed his hand and gave him an encouraging smile.

“So, you will remember I said I was a Lieutenant in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy? Right?”

She nodded in response.

“Well, at the start of last year, my ship was deployed out into the Pacific, the area around the Hawaiian Islands. We were to be doing military drills and partols with this group of ships from America’s Navy.

“A majority of the deployment went fine. Only a month or two before I arrived here, we were doing some drills out near some of the more remote Islands when we were attacked.” The day was coming back to him a bit more clearly now that he was thinking about it.

Killian was laying down in his bunk, reading a book Liam had left for him before he went on his own deployment five months before he had been shipped out here, when the first impact hit.

It had felt like some benevolent sea god had come up from the great blue deep and slammed his hands into the side of the ship, lurching starboard before righting herself quickly.

Killian had been tossed from his bunk, landing soundly on the floor in a heap of blankets as the sirens began going off, signaling the attack.

He scrambled to his feet, grabbing his rifle and handgun from where they were tucked into the corner of his room and bolted out the door. There hadn’t been any comm as to where the attack was occuring, so he followed the outflux of other officers towards the upper decks of the ship. He was one of the few who didn’t have to participate in the current drill since he had been on deck for the previous three. His commanding officer had taken notice of it and given him a leave for the rest of the week, stating that he didn’t need to over do it. They were just drills anyway.

Not anymore, he thought bitterly.

Another blast struck the ship, causing him and the few officers still on this level to stumble back into the wall as the ship rolled ominously again.

Whoever was attacking them had a lot of firepower with them.

He was up on steady feet before a majority of the others, and he pressed his advantage as he began storming through the halls, grabbing the top of the ladder with both hands and pulling himself up to the next level.

He made it up onto the main deck and took in the chaos happening in front of him.

And then they were on him. He barely ducked out of the way of someone swinging the butt of a gun towards his head and turned around, swinging his own weapon around and knocking his attacker out cold. But where one went down it seemed like 3 more appeared in his place.

Killian had never seen any kind of attack like this, not even in his lessons in the academy.

After dispatching his next 4 attackers, he pushed his way out and further onto the deck, looking to find a way to get to his post at the long guns on the far side of the deck from where he had emerged.

The fighting was too packed together for him to properly fire the rifle, so he kept it strapped over his back to try and keep it out of his way while he was fighting his way through the throng of people on the deck.

That proved to be a bit of a downfall, however when someone grabbed the rifle and used it to yank him back, forcing him onto his back onto the deck.

Killian didn’t even think, he just reacted, putting his handgun up and firing.

The body of one of the attackers collapsed next to him, apparent from his lack of proper uniform.

Scrambling up to try and avoid another such attack, he pushed past a few more officers before making it to the rail, where the fighting was a little thinner.

“That sounds like it was horrible.” Emma said, making him jump a bit.

“Yeah, it was horrible. The fighting here hadn’t been near as confusing as it had been on the deck of that ship.” He commented, grateful that she had spoken, grounding him back in the present. He squeezed her hand in thanks and continued.

Making it as best he could, he started making his way towards the bow of the boat, hoping to figure out where the attack had originated and helping in any capacity possible. Pausing his flight as two uniformed soldiers shoved an attacker overboard in front of him, he looked down the railing and out to the horizon to see if he could find any sign of the vessel that had attacked them. Seeing none, he pressed forward again.

The attacking vessel must be located on the other side of the ship, he thought to himself.

He made it around the front of the ship where the wheel was located, finally making it to his destination of one of the long guns stationed on the starboard side of the ship.

It seemed that his trip was going to be in vain though, as the metal around him in the deck gave an ominous groan.

Pausing in shock and confusion was his undoing, as the metal gave out beneath him, taking himself and three other officers down a level and crashing them into the floor beneath them.

“What in the Bloody fuck just happened.” One of the other officers next to him groaned.

Killian himself was wondering the same thing. He did a quick stock of himself to make sure he didn’t get injured in the fall.

While his head was spinning, he didn’t think that he had actually hurt himself anywhere else. As he moved to push himself up, he felt an acute twinge in his back and laid himself back down.

Damn. He thought to himself, hoping he hadn’t sustained a back injury.

What had Liam always told him about possible neck and back injuries?

Killian moved his toes in his boots experimentally, then his feet and ankles. After doing a quick check up of his legs and arms, he suspected that all he had done was pull a muscle, as everything else seemed to be functioning properly.

He opened his eyes and looked around him.

The other officers that had fallen with him were all in various states. Two were already working to push themselves up and get themselves oriented as to what was happening around them.

The other, another lieutenant that he recognized from down the hall from him wasn’t moving.

Killian pushed himself up with a groan, ignoring the twinge in his back and reached his hand out towards the other officer.

“Jenkins?” He asked, shoving on his shoulder. The other two officers turned to watch what he was doing.

Killian pushed on Jenkins shoulder again, this time with more success. He was rewarded with a groan.

One of the officers already standing rushed over, Killian noted the name and rank on his shirt. Commander Williams.

Williams stood over Jenkins and began to assess him quickly. Killian got himself fully up to his feet and pulled the rifle, which had thankfully survived the fall and was likely the cause of the twinge in his back, over his shoulder and into the crook of his arm.

He lined up with the other officer, Lieutenant-Commander Ronen, and they both began advancing down the hall, looking for whatever caused the cave in.

“Do you know what could have caused that?” He whispered to his companion.

“No clue, it almost seemed like it could have been one of those gifted blokes.” Ronen responded, turning slowly to cover Killian’s back as he cleared both directions of the fork in the hall.

“I didn’t think they allowed anyone with a gift to enlist in the Navy.” He said, letting the Lieutenant-Commander take the lead in clearing rooms.

He turned slowly to check at their back again, a strange feeling skittering down his spine.

“They don’t.” was Ronen’s response.

The hairs on the back of Killian’s neck rose.

He reached out and tapped on Ronen’s shoulder, signaling him to stop in his checking of the rooms. Something didn’t feel right. Ronen looked over his shoulder at Killian, wondering what had caused him to stop in his tracks.

Before either of them had any time to blink, the floor under them groaned and collapsed, dropping them down not one but two levels through the ship’s decks again.

The landing this time around wasn’t any better than the first time around, but Killian managed to get his feet under him when they collided with the second deck on their way down, and was able to stand and point his rifle at the mysterious man who appeared just outside the destruction.

Though, pointing a gun at someone who appeared to have the ability to manipulate metal wasn’t his brightest idea, and he dropped the rifle as soon as he noticed the barrel began warping it’s way around back to face him.

“Who are you?” Killian demanded.

The man didn’t answer him, only moving around the rubble to advance on him and Lt. Com. Ronen, who still hadn’t stirred form his place on the ground.

“Stay BACK!” He shouted, yielding a step as he moved back towards Ronen, knocking him in the shoulder purposely with his foot.

“DON’T COME ANY CLOSER.” He demanded, holding his ground as Ronen sturred beneath him.

Good.

Good that he wasn’t seriously injured.

The man stopped a distance from them, cocking his head at them and looking at both of them with an intensity that was unsettling.

Another chill skittered it’s way down Killian’s spine, but he made every effort to not show that fear to the man across from him.

“And just what can you do?” The man asked, his voice like gravel, like he hadn’t used it in a while.

Ronen’s hand wrapped around Killian’s ankle. He did his best to suppress his surprise at the sudden contact. He held as still as possible as Ronen began feeling his way around his ankle and calf, looking for the handgun that he had strapped there.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, trying to keep the man’s attention on him and off what Ronen was trying to do.

“Just what kind of gift are you hiding underneath your skin?” the man asked, his voice catching and hissing on the word skin.

Killian grew more confused, he didn’t have any idea what this madman was talking about.

He cocked his head back at him, ignoring the way that spot on his back twinged.

The man grinned, exposing a mouth full of brown, rotted out teeth. “You have no idea what you can do, can you?”

Killian felt the gun come loose from his calf, and suddenly a multitude of things happened in rapid succession.

Ronen rolled over next to him, extending the gun out in front of him.

The man in front of them extended his hand out towards Killian, as if he were reaching for something.

Killian reached to his waist and pulled the gun there, firing off a shot at the man, not knowing what he was about.

Ronen fired his gun a second later, right as something hard slammed into the middle of Killian’s back.

Killian grunted at the impact, and in an instant the world went black around him.

“It wasn’t like I had blacked out, I could still hear the world happening around me.” Killian said, coming back to the present again.

“I heard more gunshots ring out around me, and something blistering hit my hand after a few minutes. I think that was when I fully lost consciousness.”

“What happened after that?” Emma asked him quietly. Killian looked up at her, and she smiled softly at him. He quirked his lips up at her in return.

“After that I woke up in a helicopter, on my way to the Hawaiian Islands. They had done a bit for me in terms of taking care of my hand, but the Captain had determined me to be too risky to keep aboard until we made it back to the Islands ourselves. Somehow, I had blacked out the entire vessel. Even one of the smaller vessels and one of the American ships who had finally arrived to answer our distress calls gave reports that the entire vessel had disappeared into a black cloud, seeming to have disappeared into nothing, only to reappear a few minutes later.” He said, trying to think back to what the officer had told him when they landed and were able to move him to a more secure medical facility. “I had flared a few other times while I was unconscious, nothing as spectacular as the first time though. But I did succeed in darkening the infirmary several times, to the frustration of the staff working there.”

A small smile spread on his face at that thought. “Luckily for me, the Naval hospital on the main island also served to treat the gifted population of the state as well, so they were able to place me on a secure ward where they were more prepared to handle my flares while they treated my hand, or lack of it at that point. The had amputated while I was unconscious in the infirmary. hat was also when I got the notice that, as soon as I was healthy enough to endure a long travel, they were shipping me back to Britain, for my court marshall.”

His brows furrowed as he thought about everything that had happened after that.

“I didn’t know that Lieutenant Commander Ronen had died in those few minutes when everything had gone dark, and since I was the only one around besides the other mysterious gifted bloke, they had marshalled me on the charge of killing a fellow officer. Unfortunately I couldn’t prove that I hadn’t done it, and the round they recovered from him during the autopsy was fired from my gun. So they dishonorably discharged me from the Navy. That was where the real problems started though. Because they didn’t know where to send me after that.”

“Well, maybe it’s lucky they sent you here.” Emma said, her thumb brushing the back of his hand.

“I suppose, as none of the communities wanted to bring me on in the UK, and I was too old to be sent to one of the academies. Then they found out that the Americans had universities on their secure campuses and found one willing to take me on. They still hadn’t found a good way to suppress my powers while I was in custody for the marshall, and was still flaring every couple of days. There wasn’t anything that I could do to stop it, as it would happen when I would least expect it. And you Yanks had better ways of suppressing powers until you got them on a campus, so this was one of the best and safest places for them to send me.”

Killian saw her shiver, probably remember as he did the deadening power in those gloves.

“But the best thing that came out of them sending me here has to be the friends that I have made while I was here. I didn’t have many friends as I was busy doing work for the Navy. So it wasn’t all bad coming here.” He said, giving her a smile.

“No, I suppose it wasn’t,” Emma said, smiling back at him. She took his hand in both of hers and leaned over the table towards him, a searching look in her eyes.

Killian leaned forward towards her, pausing just before his lip met with hers. He needed to be sure.

Emma released a shaky breath against his lips before they finally connected.

.o.O.o.

Kissing Killian again after all the time they had spent apart from one another, making their own lives miserable thinking the other hated them, was heaven.

It was everything she had been missing and more.

It was like the first bird song of the spring, or the smell of the first campfire burning in the fall, or the first rays of sunlight breaking through the endless night of winter.

She smiled into his mouth, groaning when he pressed his lips more forcefully into hers.

Oh yeah, she had definitely missed this.

Killian’s wrist reached around the back of her neck, holding her in place as he thoroughly reclaimed her mouth.

He broke away first, both of them short of breath.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her mouth.

“I’m sorry too.” She whispered right back.

They both had said some horrible things to one another over the last few days, not intending to hurt one another and hurting each other all the same.

“Does this mean that we can try again?” She asked him, wanting to make sure that they hadn’t both destroyed this wonderful thing between them.

“I think that can be arranged.” He said, letting go of her hand to sweep her hair away from her face.

She smiled happily at him, relieved to be past this horrible bump in the road. “I love you.”

The answering smile on his face was nothing short of blinding, and Emma couldn’t have been happier.

#csbb #2018 csbb #Love Lies #My writing #emma swan #Killian Jones #Captain Swan #Emma x Killian

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