#I made this like two to three years ago better late than never because then it can become a birthday gift again

[tandembicycles]

@jakesisland birthday, tsuyu time

[websterss]

SECOND CHANCE — TYLER HARRISON

SUMMARY: Let’s pretend the group survives because Tyler finds out his ex-girlfriend had his baby, so Tyler decides to stay.

WARNING(S): angst, fluff, mentions of pregnancy, back-and-forth banter

WORD COUNT: 6,603

PAIRING: Tyler Harrison x fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Don't ask me where this idea came from, I don't know either. Feedback is always welcomed! <3

MASTERLIST

“Y/n?” You paused mid-step as you slowly turned around to garner the attention of Kay. You thanked the vendor and placed the meal inside your bag. Her curly hair wasn’t hard to miss amongst the colony.

“Kay…hi.” You offer her a small grin.

“Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in so long. What’s it been like three years.” You didn’t mind the hug she gave you as she stepped forward.

“Four actually.” You grin with a faint laugh patting her back gently. You can’t stand to bear a second of the awkward silence so you continue. Asking the dreaded question Kay had hoped to hear from you to report back to her brother when she returned home. “H-How is…everyone? Navarro? Bjorn?…Tyler? Yeah, what’s he been up to lately?” You pocket your hands into your coat.

“Miserable, lost without you.” You roll your eyes at her exaggerated confession. “It’s true!” Her grin widens. “He can’t shut up about you not since you broke up.”

“Sure…” You hum in genuine curiosity.

“He misses you. We all do…” You give her a faint smile, it not entirely reaching your eyes.

“When’s the last time you’ve seen Rain?” Thoughts of how her and Tyler had a small thing going flooded your mind. “I haven’t seen her since I left.”

“Rain?”

“Yeah?” You nod.

“I haven’t seen Rain since her parents died.”

“Oh…that's awful.” You gape in shock. “I hadn’t known.” You muttered.

“We didn’t either till the news spread. News around here travels fast.”

“Hopefully not too fast.” You breathe a laugh.

Kay stood back watching how your posture used to be better and how your comfort showed itself amongst the people. You had never shied away from anything apart from public speaking, looking at you now was like staring at your ghost. A hollow version of what she knew you to truly be like. For her, for Kay, news traveled at lightning speed, and you try to play it off as though motherhood doesn’t define your entire being at the moment. Kay was well aware of the secret you thought you did well to keep.

“How is she?” You don’t even look at her to try and understand what she means by ‘she’. You knew you had caught sight of her curly locks all those years ago when you picked Jup up from her lessons. You close your eyes, a heavy weighted sigh leaves you as you fight the urge to cry out.

“I assumed it was you. No one else stands and lingers like a creepy stalker.” You muster a faint laugh.

“Would it have made any difference then, from now, knowing about her?”

“No.” You look off to the side. Watching as the hustle and bustle of your colony’s people flowed and moved. “I still wouldn’t have told you…or him.”

“I think you should.” Kay suggests.

“I think you need to stay out of my business Kay.” You try and shove past her, but she doesn't let up easy.

"Y/n-" She grabs you by your arm.

"He left!" You whip around in her face. "He left, Kay. He was scared to be more and he walked away and got with Rain. I don't hold anything against her for it. She'd be stupid not to fall in love with him...I fell in love with him...and yet I was stuck trying to survive and eat for two on this stupid mining colonization." Your facade falling. “She’s three Kay…She'll never get to see the sun.” Your arms fall against your sides in a slump.

"Then come with us...we have a plan. Tyler has a plan!" Kay pleaded. "But you have to tell him. You have to tell him about her!"

"I don't think I can Kay, not now at least. I got to go!"

"No wait we can figure this all-"

"Kay, I got to go." You pleaded, then took off. Knowing it was never good to leave Jup on her own. She knew to stay, but even then, if you took longer than usual, she'd wake up and begin to wonder where you were.

-

You had pushed through your shelter's door with a huff as your frantic mind gazed at the empty cot. "Jup baby, I'm here!" You call out to her.

"Who goes 'dere?" You whip around. The voice was far from intimidating as the high-pitched tone suddenly appeared from under a sheet on your small dining table meant for two, and two only.

You emit a sigh of relief as you lower yourself to her eye level. You tilt your head at her weapon of choice. A spoon...

"Do okay?" She wonders as she peers past your shoulder. You had taught her in a manner of speaking that only her three-year-old mind could come to grasp and knowing your baby girl she was quick to catch on. Your heart melts at the anticipation behind her eyes. The braved expression she held for you, but it was her eyes, ones you wouldn't dare admit to Kay that you missed, that gave Jup away. Where she tried to be fearless, she was still just your baby, fear hidden behind those brown eyes– like his.

"Just like we practiced..." You haul her up into your arms and press a greeting onto her cheek. "How was your nap?"

"Good..." She murmurs.

"Yeah? That's good. Hey, guess what I brought?" You gasp enthusiastically. "I got us breakfast and dinner for this whole week!" You cheer, bouncing her on your hip. She brings her hands together and claps in excitement. "Maybe, next week we can score ourselves a rare steak. Heard those are hard to come by." You set her down and begin to unpack your bag with the food you were able to trade for scraps and material you had.

While you worked, Jup sat on your bed and began to play with her stuffed toy, a black bear made up from scraps of fabric and stuffed with leftovers of some pants that no longer fit. Jup's long dark hair is tied into a messy ponytail as she mumbles to herself quietly. You smile at her playing mindlessly.

You move around your small kitchen keeping one eye on her and the shadows of those that pass your shelter. You would wonder if Tyler would show up on one random night, knocking. You'd open the door and his gaze would meet yours then slowly meet that of the little girl whose hair and eyes reflected his own. You knew you'd never truly be able to get away from him. From the inevitable introduction of a father meeting his daughter for the first time. You just hoped that if the time ever did call for it. He wouldn't hate you for it like he does fiercely in your dreams.

After a little while, it's almost time to eat, so you go over to Jup and scoop her off of the bed. "Hey little lady, you hungry yet?" You ask her as she nods her head, her messy hair bobbing with her movement. You kiss her head and set her down in her seat at the small table. You give her a little portion of her dinner and a tall cup of water, then you take your seat. You sit in silence. Small sounds of chewing as she does her best to reach the tabletop. You offer her a smile as you poke at another stale cauliflower. It wasn't the best but there was more to complain about than the food on Jackson Star.

Jup begins to drink from her cup, but her interest is piqued when suddenly there's a knock at the door. She takes a small sip as she places the cup carefully back on the table, and looks to you for reassurance.

You were slightly taken aback. You hadn't been expecting anyone. For the most part, the only person who ever came to your door was your neighbor, Sue, she lent you stuff she thinks you'd find useful for you and little Juniper. But the knock sounded different. Heavier. You glance down at Jup then haul her up the seat. You tense hearing another knock before you make up your mind and decide the small closet is your safest bet. You set her down and go to close the door behind you. "Baby, you stay right here and stay quiet, I'll see who it is, okay?" You tell her as you slowly begin to stand up.

With one last glance at her, you close the door behind you. Another knock rings out and you take a small, deep breath in. Though another glance at the table you hastily store her leftovers away on the kitchen counter.

You walk over to the metal hatch door and unlatch it slowly. It opens with a small creak, revealing not your neighbor, nor an unfamiliar face, but Tyler. Your heart feels as though it's about to give out in your chest. You were frozen in place as you took in the sight of him. He never seemed to stray from the whole dark, tall, and handsome stereotype. It almost made you want to laugh, but you kept still as your hand gripped the door handle. "Ty?"

Tyler breathes out at the sight of you. How lovely you are. How beautiful you are. He never stopped reminding you how you'd always find ways to render him breathless. Albeit, it'd get him a punch or two in the shoulder but he would have complimented you over and over if it allowed him to see you smile once more. How he wished for it now, seeing your weary-eyed expression. You were breaking his heart and all you had barely done was look at him and call him 'Ty' after four years.

He didn't know quite how to approach you now. The look he earned from you was one of exhaustion. He could hardly read you, but he'd be damned if he didn't try. Not only was the thought of talking to you after so long terrifying, but the thought of messing it up terrified him further. "Hey." He mumbled through his thick accent, his eyes scanning how you had the door only slightly open. "Mind if I come in?"

Tyler almost grimaced seeing how you had closed the door an inch more, limiting the space between you both. He knew then and there the forward approach had been the wrong approach, especially when it came to you. You instantly put your walls up around you. He could see it from your tensed-up shoulders that you wanted to get him out of here as fast as you could.

The silence was loud between both of you. He wanted to say something. Maybe a compliment would get you to crack, but he wouldn't take the risk. He wouldn't risk scaring you off. Tyler's eyes had a look in them that showed his desperation to keep you from shutting the door in his face. He wouldn't hold it against you if you did. He could tell you wouldn't let him in. "Y/n-" He began.

"What are you doing here, Tyler?"

He almost visibly winces at the tone of your strained voice. He looks past you, into your home. Tyler's gaze lands on the small table with only one setting and his heart sinks. You notice his look and your grip tightens on the door. He couldn't help it. He had to ask. "Are you…alone right now?"

He almost visibly winces at the tone of your strained voice. He looks past you, into your home. Tyler's gaze lands on the small table with only one setting and his heart sinks. You notice his look and your grip tightens on the door. He couldn't help it. He had to ask. "Are you…alone right now?"

The look on your face doesn't waver. You know exactly where he's going with the question, yet you can't bring yourself to shut the door. You're frozen, but you refuse to answer him. It takes everything in you to keep your cool. You bite the inside of your cheek and avert your gaze.

He had wanted to say so much to you. To apologize for the way he had left you and treated you. To tell you he had missed you and to see you again without the fear of you shutting him out. But he found it hard to find all the words that he wanted to say. "Y/n, let me in." He stepped over the threshold as your hand shot out to stop his entry.

"Y/n-"

"What did Kay tell you?" You asked with grit in your voice. "I haven't seen your face in four years, why now? What the hell did she tell you?" You shove against his chest.

Tyler catches your arm as you shove him, he's holding it between you. He's taken by surprise by your reaction to him showing up. He looks down at you with his widened eyes as he tries to come up with the words. "She didn't- Y/n, just stop." He grabs hold of your wrists, stopping you from pushing against his hold. "I just want to talk to you. Just let me talk to you." Tyler pleads. He was scared. The anger you're releasing was almost unexpected but not unwelcome. Anger was something he could deal with. Anything was better than silence from you.

"Don't lie to me, Tyler." You say through gritted teeth, trying to pull your arm back to yourself. "Why are you here all of a sudden, huh?"

"Huh?" You go to shove him again. He grabs your wrists and uses his strength to shove you against the wall next to your door, pinning both of your arms on either side of your head. You look over in time to see him kick close your door. The slam drowning out your heavy breathing. Tyler looms over you, his chest rising and falling.

The air between you is thick and charged as he keeps you held against the wall. His chest was flush against yours and he held your wrists over your head as he stared down at you. You watched his gaze move from your eyes which burned into his own. He's staring at your heaving chest, the curve of your collarbone before he looks back down at your face. His own heart was pounding, so loud it almost drowned out the sound of your own. You could only hear one another's heavy breathing.

"Get out…" You slump back against the wall.

Tyler's expression falters. He doesn't listen, of course. No, he only grips your wrists tighter in response as he leans in closer. His body pushes against yours more until there's almost no space between you both. "No." He says to your request, his voice is heavy and deep. There's a desperation in his tone. "I'm not leaving till you talk to me." His lips are close to yours and he doesn't miss how your eyes lower to glance at them. "Only if you talk to me."

"The nerve you have to show your face now-" You begin to give it to him.

He takes it as he keeps you pinned to the wall. He almost flinches at the harshness in your voice, but he doesn't say anything about it. This was nothing new. Tyler always seemed to love it when you gave him an earful. He enjoyed seeing the frustration in your eyes, how your lips would get in a pout. He watched as you opened your mouth again only he spoke before you could voice your opinion. "Just shut up for a second and listen to me damn it!"

That shuts you up for him. He almost smirks but catches himself, though you can see him almost enjoying the look of annoyance in your eyes. He didn't miss the way your eyes once again glanced down at his parted lips. "No more yelling. Just listen." Tyler mutters, his head moving slightly closer.

"You're yelling though…" You furrow your brows at him.

He almost chuckles, almost. How stubborn you still were. But he was trying to be serious with you for once. He lifts his hold around your wrists, his nose almost touching yours. "Because you're being stubborn-headed." He lets his voice soften as he looks at you.

"I think you're just being a gigantic dick."

Tyler raises an eyebrow at you now. He almost wanted to laugh at you. What he does instead is tighten his grip on you again as he stares down at you. "And you're being a pain in my arse." He responds to you with a huff. "Always have been, always will be."

"Tyler…what did Kay say to you?"

That stops him and his cocky demeanor suddenly falters. Tyler is silent for a moment, his lips in a straight line as he refuses to meet your gaze. "She said…" He begins to say but almost feels ashamed to tell you. "She said that I have-"

"Mommy…do good?"

Too engrossed by each other you had forgotten about the small human you had tucked away from sight. Her voice was small and curious. You look past Tyler, your eyes instantly falling onto Juniper.

You almost gasped, as did Tyler as both of your heads snapped to look at Jup in the moment of surprise. She was standing by the small little counter you had, still holding her stuffed bear tight in her grip. The sight of her causes Tyler to slowly step back away from you, his eyes are widened in disbelief.

"-a daughter." He freezes, and his shoulders drop as does your heart at the sight of Jup who was supposed to stay hidden, and in that moment Tyler looks back over at you. He watches you as he sees the guilt wash over your features.

You grimace as you go over and haul her up into your arms. Her head laid against your shoulder, clinging to her bear in her little hands.

"Ty, this is Juniper. Your daughter."

Tyler's mind went a mile a minute as he took in the sight of the little girl staring at him from the safety of your arms. He could see the guilt in your eyes, almost as though you were caught doing something you weren't meant to be doing. He looks down at his daughter, her messy black locks and big dark eyes. The girl was a mini version of himself. Apart from her ears, smile, and nose. She was his.

"I almost tore a new one into Kay after she got home and told me. Almost didn't believe her." His laugh fainted. "All this time?"

You had gotten her tray of food and sat her down on her chair. Juniper obliged but still kept a cautious eye on the random man in her home. "Tyler, you didn't want this." You gesture between you both. "You wanted an out, so I let you go."

Tyler couldn’t take his eyes off of the little girl. His daughter. He couldn’t believe it. He knew Kay was never one to lie about something so big, but to see it right before his eyes was a completely different story. “You could’ve told me.” He said, more quietly than he thought possible.

"You would have stayed for her. When I needed you to stay because of her, and because of me. But you didn't want anything serious, and I wasn't gonna sit by and watch you stay for a baby, not when you couldn't even look me in the eye anymore."

Those words hit him hard, almost like a punch in the gut. He wanted to defend himself. You were right. He couldn't deny that you were. He had wanted freedom, he wanted off this colony, a new life. No strings attached. But now standing there, he wasn't so sure anymore. He could've had so much more than what he had settled for. He had pushed you away and ran because he was scared of something real. And as he looked at his daughter, he could see the proof of his cowardice.

“You should have told me,” Tyler repeated, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He looked back at you. “I had a right to know.”

"No Ty, you didn't. Not then." You deny.

"And why not??" Tyler's voice rises. He couldn't believe it. He had a daughter this whole time. He had gotten you pregnant and ran away and you hid that fact from him for almost four years. “You decided that on your own.” He retorted back. Tyler took a step forward, his hands went to his pocket, in a desperate attempt to look indifferent. He watched as you sat down beside Jup, running a hand along her messy hair. "I should have been a part of her life. I should have been with you- Y/n, I had a right to know about her, damn it.”

"You left me. You gave me no other choice." You peer up at him through watered eyes. "I needed you…"

“And I needed space goddamn it.” Tyler snapped. He took a step back, as though to distance himself from you. But when he saw the tears in your eyes, something inside him ached. He wanted to walk over and comfort you, but he didn’t. He stood there like a jackass, watching you fight back tears. “I just needed time to think…I couldn’t breathe when I was with you. You overwhelmed me.” He admits, his shoulders slumped.

"Oh…" Your voice dies down at his words. You muster a nod before you look over at Jup watching the scene unfold before her.

She was watching with big curious eyes, taking in the atmosphere of this new man that was in her home. Tyler could see the similarities between himself in the little girl. How she looked and moved, it was as though he was looking at a reflection of himself in the small child. He watched as you smiled at her, reassuring her that everything was fine.

Tyler’s breath gets stuck in his chest as he watches how you are with his daughter. The two of you looked and moved naturally together. And here he was raising his voice wondering if she thought the worst of him. He notices your change in demeanor and suddenly, he’s kicking himself. He hadn’t meant for it to come out that way. He hadn’t meant for those words to be backhanded. But they were and he hurt you once more.

"I'm sorry." You glance up at him as he starts. "That came out wrong, I didn't mean for it to. Heat of the moment…" He palms his face. Tyler sighs his mind and heart racing. He’s hurt you by saying that. He hadn't meant it in that way, but he knew how it sounded. “Y/n, that’s not what I meant.”

"Yeah, but you still said it Tyler. Such a shitty thing to say too!"

“Yeah, I did and I’m sorry, okay.” He lets out a frustrated sigh as he runs his hands along his face again. It was frustrating. It was all so damn frustrating. Everything about this was. He was frustrated for hurting you, for saying those words and he was frustrated for having a daughter that he should have known about years ago. “Damn it-“ He mumbles, shaking his head.

"You know the more you keep swearing in front of our kid, the more bad habits she'll be likely to pick up."

That shuts him up.

Tyler lets out a huff as he looks down at his daughter. He takes a few steps towards you and Jup. He’s watching you, how you caress back her hair and keep her reassured as you try to act like everything is normal. He stops to stand beside her. He looks down at her, taking in the details of her face now that he’s up close to her. He smiles softly for her, hoping to appear as less of a threat to her.

"You're still a jackass..." You mutter under your breath, but the smirk that grows on his lips tells you he heard you loud and clear.

He snorts softly at that, unable to deny it. Tyler doesn’t hesitate to lean down and whisper a response back to you. “And you’re still the love of my life.”

You still. Frozen from the shock and complete obscurity of his words.

Tyler grins at your reaction. He straightens up, hands back in his pockets. His eyes are almost mischievous as he watches you falter. “Perhaps I should have kept that to myself.” He teases.

"Yeah, that might've been wiser." You huff with a laugh.

“Yeah, I’ve never been one to make smart decisions.” Tyler chuckles. He leans himself against the table, keeping his eyes on you. He’s watching how you still have a hand on top of Jup’s messy hair as a reassuring touch. He nods his head at the sight. “She looks like me, but it’s your ears.” He teases. "You're smile and nose."

"Well thank god, it wasn't your ears."

"Hey, what's wrong with my ears?" He says as he puts a hand over his heart, the other one goes to his ear and acts offended by your statement.

You feign a grimace.

Tyler huffs under his breath at your expression. "Oh, real mature." He grumbles as he crosses his arms, a pout visible on his face. "You never had a problem with my ears before."

You surrender.

Tyler grins at the sight, watching you throw in the towel. He takes his hands from his chest and ear, leaning himself down again so he gets close to you.

“I do mean it though. You are and always have been the love of my life."

"I'm a loss in your life, Tyler." You correct.

His head almost snaps back in disbelief at your statement. Tyler shakes his head. "No, you have never been a loss to me. You are- you have only ever been the best part of my life. I just-" He pauses as he suddenly feels himself get frustrated with himself all over again. "Damn it, can you just stop putting words in my mouth, and listen to the fact that I never stopped loving you! Even when I left to train. Even when we were over. I never stopped."

"Tyler this is crazy-"

"No this isn't crazy!" Tyler snaps again, but his tone quickly deflates as he looks to make sure that Jup hasn't heard him. He takes a breath as he runs a hand over his hair again in frustration. "It’s not. You're everything I want. Everything I have ever wanted. You're the light of my life, and I can’t let you go again. I have spent so many years miserable that-"

"Kay did mention that." He gave you a look. "Sorry."

"-I was never happy when I was away from you, I didn't know how miserable I truly was until I left."

"It's not that easy for me. Tyler, you just told me a few minutes ago that you couldn't breathe around me, that I overwhelmed you. Make it make sense!"

"You do overwhelm me, damn it!" Tyler snaps again, he stands straight now, and he can feel a rush of adrenaline suddenly running through his body. "You make my heart race a million miles a minute. You're the only person who can piss me off and make me feel like a damn fool in love. You don't take my shit and make me want to kiss you every time we've argued. You make me feel so much all at once and sometimes I can't handle it. But I don't want to feel numb anymore! I didn't know what I had until I lost it. Until I lost you. No one else makes me feel that…god not even Rain."

"Oh god...Tyler." You ran a hand down your face.

Tyler sighs as he watches you, seeing your expression change yet again. "I got my second chance right here with you. With Juniper. Us."

You tilt your head hearing his words. "Ty…"

Tyler reaches over and grabs your hand, it surprises you by the sudden touch. He gently pulls you back up to your feet, getting you to stand in front of him. He’s got a tight grip on your hand like if he lets go you might disappear. "I want us. I want you. I want you and our kid and I-" He struggles for the right words that he so desperately wants to say. "I want this family more than anything."

"You do?"

Tyler can hear the uncertainty in your voice. He hates it. He reaches up and cups your face with his hand, forcing you to look at him directly. He gazes into your eyes, almost pleading for you to see that he’s being sincere. "Yes," He answers simply, quietly. He leans in, resting his head against yours. "I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life."

"Tyler if you leave us, I will never forgive you-"

"I won’t." He exclaims. He’s gripping your hand in his like a vice. "I’m not leaving. Not this time. I made that mistake before, you’re not getting rid of me." He gently presses his forehead against yours. He’s looking at you carefully. "…do you believe me? Do you trust me?"

Your faint nod had him relaxing.

Tyler lets out a relieved sigh at your nod. He’s got all of this energy, adrenaline, and fear coursing through his body and it takes all of it to not just grab you and kiss you. Instead, he just pulls you against him and wraps his arms around you, holding you tight. He closes his eyes as he buries his face in your hair, pressing kisses into your skin.

You wrap your arms around him and inhale his scent. Your hug only lasts so long when Juniper has you both pulling away again. "Mommy."

You can both hear her soft voice and when you and Tyler pull away from each other, you see that little Jup has come to stand beside you both. Her bear and now a picture you were all too familiar with in her hands. She’s looking up at you with her big brown eyes, and her messy hair. She tugs on your shirt with a soft pout of her lips.

"What do you have there baby? Is this for me?" You haul her up into your arms. Tyler lingers behind you, watching your interactions.

Jup happily climbs up into your arms and she is careful of the picture she’s holding as she tucks her face into your neck. She’s still holding onto it tightly between her little hands as she mumbles something against your skin, but her words are muffled. She pulls back slightly so she can hold up the picture to you.

Tyler registers what is it before you can turn it over. "You kept it."

Your eyes are now fixated on the picture in your hands. It’s the picture you had taken the day you found out you were pregnant with Jup. Your hair was done, and you dawned one of your nicer shirts. Both you and Tyler were looking at each other while his arms were wrapped around your waist and his chin was resting against your shoulder. He had kept the picture in the inside pocket of his jacket for a while. Now you held onto it.

In the picture, the essence of your happiness had been captured. It was one of the happiest days you had ever felt. The month that followed after that day. You tried to forget it ever happened.

Yes, you had kept it. You’d kept it under yours and Jup's cot all these years.

"You gave it to me remember."

"I would've thought you'd thrown it out by now."

You were both silent for what felt like an eternity as you looked down at the picture, running your thumb over your faces.

"No, I couldn't." You admit, softly. "It meant too much to throw away. Besides, it's the closest thing I got to an ultrasound around here." You shrug.

Jup peers out of your neck as she watches the two of you talk, still not quite registering who this man is. “Who?” She says, with her head at a tilt.

"Jup this is Tyler, Tyler…He's your-" You peer up at him not knowing what to officially label him as.

Tyler clears his throat as he’s suddenly put on the spot. He looks at her, seeing how she looks at him with such curiosity. He feels his heart suddenly flutter again when he hears the word your, like some sort of proof of belonging.

“I’m your dad,” He answers confidently, smiling softly at her and her messy head of hair. "Your daddy." His accent coming through. "I'm here to stay if you'll have me. If your mommy will have me." He peers cheekily into your eyes, where you have to fight the urge to roll your own.

"What do you think Jup. Should we let him stay?"

Jup’s eyes go wide at the question and her interest is perked by the sudden proposal. Her head suddenly pops away from your neck as she looks at you and she nods her head, with her messy hair flailing. It was a rather eager nod on her part. "Yes!"

"Yeah?" Tyler's grin widens.

Jup nods her head. "Yes!" She confirms again, more excitedly this time. She's looking down at Tyler with those big brown eyes, and she's got a smile on her face. Tyler leans in and pecks her curls, grinning from ear to ear, knowing he has her approval. "Looks like I'm sticking around then, Jup's orders," He replies, meeting your gaze.

"Guess so, soldier."

"Guess so." Tyler repeats back, with that damn smirk of his. He can’t take his eyes off you. He’s watching you like you’re something he's finally got to have again. It makes his heart clench.

Tyler takes you by surprise when he’s suddenly close enough to touch you. He brings his hand to your neck, cupping it in the palm of his large hands as he leans in, using the leverage to pull you into him. His lips are on yours in an instant, firm and eager against your mouth. Your surprised gasp has your mouth open to his and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

You use one of your hands to pull him closer.

Tyler pulls away, breathing heavily against your lips. "I've been wanting to do that since you opened the door." His chuckle makes your grin widen.

"So stupid…" You shake your head.

Tyler lets out a huff as he grins. He cups the side of your face with his hand, resting his forehead against yours. “Damn you. You drive me mad, woman.”

"Yeah? Well, you're gonna have to get used to it around here."

"I think I'll manage. I'm tougher than I look." Tyler grins as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. He's close enough that you can hear his accent through his words as he peers into your eyes.

"No, you're not…"

"No?" Tyler’s eyes were narrow as he picked up a bit of a teasing tone in your voice. "Oh, it's like that then, is it?" He says as he raises an eyebrow. "You hear this Jup, your mum says I'm not tough." He feigns hurt.

"Tuff." Jup repeats back to him. "Tuff, tuff, tuff."

Tyler grins. "That's right, Jup." He says as he gently reaches out and boops her nose with his finger, earning a little giggle out of her and the sound makes his heart warm.

"Please don't encourage her. She doesn't need to learn bad habits from her dad."

"Oh come on, she’s not going to pick up my bad habits…" Tyler glances between you and her. "Besides, she already has your cautiousness, so it's too late."

"Well, I'd rather that than have her watch your macho tough guy act unfold. Jackson Star knows I've seen enough of it."

Tyler huffs. "It’s not macho. It’s called having a backbone." He snaps back, with a tone that you know is more playful than serious. "I’m teaching my daughter to be strong."

"I think you mean thick-headed, excuse me it's time for her bedtime." You walk around him to get her settled onto the cot.

"Hey! I'm not thick-headed." Tyler protests as he gives you a look of disbelief. He glances over at Jup who is sitting quietly in your arms and suddenly he looks concerned. “W-Wait, bedtime? How early does she sleep?”

"Tyler, It's a quarter past eleven." You gesture to the hologram clock on the small counter. Tyler turns to look at it.

He blinks. "It’s that late already?" He exclaims in disbelief as he looks from you to the clock and back again. 

“Quarter past eleven. No wonder she’s so tired,” He muses as he looks back over Jup. Sure enough, your daughter is fighting to keep her eyes open, and her head is slowly drooping against your shoulder. "Damn, I guess I didn’t realize we had been talking for that long."

You shift her so that her head is on the pillow you share. "I put her down early, but you showed so I really couldn't at the moment. The best I could do is get her to eat her meal."

Tyler steps to your side as he watches you gently arrange her on the cot. He can’t help but smile as he watches you make sure Jup is comfortable before you give her a soft kiss on her forehead. “She’s a big girl.” He muses, softly, as he watches her little head fall back against the pillow and the even little puffs of her breath.

"I wouldn't say that. She still needs mommy to tuck her in."

Tyler glances at you as he grins. He lets out a huff of a laugh. “I’m guessing she inherited that from you, huh?” He teases. "Does mommy need daddy to tuck her in?"

"No." You huff with a laugh, shoving his shoulder.

Tyler laughs as he rubs his shoulder. “Ow.” Despite it being a very soft shove. He glances down at you, his eyes scanning over your features. "You are just as stubborn as I remember you being. I'm telling you, love." He muses as he steps closer to you, using his height to try and intimidate you.

"Just like you remember?" You hum.

"Yeah…" Tyler slowly nods as he takes another step closer to you. He stands in front of you, and you have to have your head tilted back to look up at him. "Just like I remember. Stubborn. And beautiful. A deadly combination, I’m telling you."

"I'm glad you came." You admit. Tyler’s smile softens at your words. He reaches down and takes your hand in his, squeezing it.

“I’m sorry I took so long.” He apologizes, softly.

"Took you about four years...but who's counting." You shrug.

Tyler rubs the back of his neck embarrassed. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m sorry it took me a while to get my head out of my own arse." He glances at you, looking sheepish. “I’m here now, though. I’m not going anywhere else.”

"Good, 'cause if you do. I’ll throw you into outer space." You lean in and peck his lips for a sweet kiss.

“Oh, I don’t doubt you would.” A deep chuckle rumbles through his chest.

[kyaroscuro]

All About You

Maybe it's all about you when your youth is filled with each other's names and your heart has never changed. That's what Juyeon finds out when he falls in love with his best friend.

pairing : bff!juyeon x gn!reader (+bf to ex!sunwoo) genre : fluff, bestfriends to lovers, slow burn, slight angst but happy ending warnings : swearing/cursing, sex jokes, implied sex, mention of burnout, alcohol consumption, heartbreak, pet names (sweetheart, good girl, pretty, baby) notes : it's been a long road but i'm happy to introduce y'all to my baby! i've been (and still am) obsessed with juyeon since the zeneration 2 concert and i guess i've had a lot to write about him... i hope you'll find out the few references i've managed to sneak in! enjoy ✧.* shout out to my dear @winterchimez for proofreading and helping me during the whole writing process, you were a great help <3 words count : 13745

No one ever told you how relationships work. So when you fell in love with your best friend Juyeon at 16, you felt a little helpless. Should he be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Was it wrong to lean on him when he welcomed you into his arms for a movie night? Eventually those feelings faded as you both started dating, and you wondered if it was even true love. Maybe the 16-year-old teenager you were was just attracted to the idea of being close to another soul, mentally and physically.

Maybe yes.

The only thing you know right now at 24, is that the feelings you had for Juyeon back then were nothing compared to the ones you have for Sunwoo today. The attention and love he gives you makes everyone jealous. Even Juyeon himself.

If he wanted to take you out to dinner, you would turn him down because you already had plans with Sunwoo. Arcade, karaoke, late night walks, picnics, fancy restaurants or fast food, you’re always together. Sometimes when you feel like staying in, Juyeon would show up, hoping to watch a movie like the good old days. But he’s met with Sunwoo at the door and doesn’t have the energy to see you being all lovey-dovey.

He knows better than to be a third wheel. As much as he understands the time you spend with your boyfriend, he can’t help but feel jealous and left out. You’re not trying to make him feel that way, you just needed Sunwoo’s presence.

The two of you met in your 3rd year of thesis. He was actually the student under your supervision for his end-of-studies internship. You obviously spent six months seeing each other and working together – in the lab, the library, cafes and even at home. You both grew closer in no time, and that’s only fair given the fact that Sunwoo is a living comedian. You don’t think you would have made it through the whole editing process without his support.

The funniest thing he had ever done was that he was proofreading your work while you did the same for his. Sure enough, you both graduated with the help from one another and a couple of kisses were shared.

From Juyeon’s point of view, those six months felt like an eternity. He had a girlfriend at the time and couldn’t really go out with you. You were both busy for different reasons, but still tried to see each other once a week. But when you did see each other, you always talked about Sunwoo and he talked about his girlfriend. That’s what your lives were made of, but it was a little heartbreaking that you were best friends who only talked about your partners.

“How’s the job hunt going?” He asked at one of your meetings.

“Great actually, I felt like giving up, but I didn’t endure those three years to throw it all away, did I? Sunwoo helped me a lot, he’s my lifesaver.”

Juyeon felt like throwing up, as if his heart had been stepped on the moment he heard those words, and he didn’t know why.

“What about you?” You asked him, cutting his train of thought.

Oh, he knew you were talking about his own job, which he quit a few months ago (more like he’s on a break because he’s burned out). But it’s not like he has to tell you; he doesn’t have the guts to anyway. He thinks you would be sad and angry with him, when all you really want is for him to be happy. And he’s also upset that he’s had to give up on his dream job because it was affecting his health. Thankfully, his boss has been kind enough to give him a chance to rest up for now. Maybe all he needs to keep going is your reassurance?

“We broke up.” He says quietly, looking down at his hands.

“I’m so sorry Juyo, aren’t you too sad?” You say as you reach out to him.

“To be honest, I am.” He admits, looking up at you, a small smile forms on his lips. “It was a mutual agreement, but I feel like I screwed it up. She said I needed to think about my own needs and wants.”

“And what do you want?”

“To spend time with you.” He says straightforwardly.

Your cheeks flushed at his sudden comment. Has he always been so honest?

“I’m free tomorrow if you’re fine with that? Sunwoo is going out with his band.” You say, eager to spend more time with him. “Oh, and Juyo; you should know that I will always make time for you. You’re a big part of my life and I care about you more than anyone else so please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything. I’m just one call away.”

“I know that but I always seem to bother you.” He says, a little ashamed to think so.

“You don’t. What makes you think that?” You frown at his words, wondering if he actually meant them. “You have no idea how much I look forward to our weekly meetings! It keeps me going during the week, I swear, ask Sunwoo he only hears about you.”

“Oh,” he responded, feeling delighted with your words.

“Yes Juyo, I miss you a lot.” You gasped shyly, suddenly very focused on your hot cup.

“I miss you even more.” He looks for your eyes with a hint of fondness that you don’t notice, even when you raise your head to tell him,

“So tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” he smiles, pleased to see you smile back with the same touch of affection.

When you think about it, you don’t understand how it is possible to break up with Lee Juyeon. You didn’t really know the girl he was dating, you never met her, you only saw her face in a picture once. But you do know your best friend, and he’s not the type to break someone’s heart. He would fight for the person he loves, even if it doesn’t work out. Juyeon is love personified. So how can you reject him?

Woo ☼ (3)

Sweetheart I miss you

When are you coming back home

I have a present for you

What kind of present?

Me ;)

OMW

Juyo <3 (1)

Thanks for today, I can’t wait for tomorrow. Pick you up at 10?

Will be pretty and ready!

Always pretty but ready? I’m looking forward to it

As soon as you read his message, your heart began to thump real loud and your cheeks immediately flushed red. Who are you and what have you done to Juyeon? When did he become so flirty? Or maybe he has always been like this and you never cared before. But why do you even care now? 

When you were 16, you remember vividly how he kissed your hand goodbye because he was a gentleman and you were a darling. Everyone at school made fun of you for being so old-fashioned, but little did they know that you liked it. Eventually, when you turned 17, he dropped the act and started kissing your forehead instead. It was a hundred per cent worse. Your cheeks turned pink every time you thought about it and people were calling you out for being highkey on PDA and asking you to spare the singles.

Maybe then he was always this flirty.

It didn’t matter much to you because it was puppy love. The first man you ever loved. Until Sunwoo came into the picture.

“How was your date sweetheart?” You laugh into the kiss he greets you with.

“Pretty good, I think I’m developing feelings, I don’t know, he’s just so sweet and- Ouch Sunwoo!” You yelped, surprised by his sudden, somewhat erotic gesture.

“What?” He giggles innocently.

“You didn’t have to pin me against the wall, did you?” You ask rhetorically, knowing full well what his answer will be.

“I did,” his sparkling eyes turn to onyx, his tongue runs over his lips and his gaze travels up and down your body as he answers.

“Yeah?” You whisper, aroused by his deep voice.

“Yes.”

His plump lips are all over yours in an instant, taking your breath away. To deepen the kiss and emphasise his need to be closer, he grabs your legs so you can wrap them around his waist and welcome him in. Your arms wrap around his neck as you yield, kissing him back with passion and love. He doesn’t let go until you’re both out of breath, and then he kisses you again and again like a madman. Eventually, you’re so lost in the pleasure of his kisses that when you feel him nipping at your neck, you push him away, panting.

“I understand that Juyeon is your best friend,” he says with a heavy voice. “But you can’t joke about dating another man.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to answer as he runs his tongue over your lips before kissing you lazily. You stick out your tongue, waiting for him to resume his kiss. He chuckles at your behaviour but kisses you nonetheless.

“Good girl hm, are you hungry?” He utters with lustful and honey dripping eyes.

“Let’s take this into the bedroom then.” At his promise to take you to heaven, you nod eagerly, excited to see what he has planned for you.

You don’t quite remember what happened after that, too lost in lust and love. You felt the kisses on your forehead and the caresses in your hair before he left the bed.

Suddenly, nothing. All you felt was emptiness.

You turn to check your phone when you yelp in pain because your back hurts. Your man was a beast last night.

Wait.

9:30am?

You hurriedly get out of bed, taking in your dishevelled appearance and the hickeys Sunwoo had the courtesy to leave on your body. You’re ashamed to go out like this, because you know that you have little to no time to cover them up.

More importantly, Juyeon will notice them. It’s not that you cared about exposing your sex life, you have a lot of fun with Sunwoo and he’s the greatest in and out of bed. But for Juyeon to see you in such a vulnerable way? It does something to you and you can’t figure out why.

You never talked about your sex life with Juyeon although you are best friends; you two are kind of secretive. Sure, there were times when you complained that your exes were terrible kissers or that dates were horrible. But when it comes to any form of intimacy, it was out of the books. You both never joked about kinks, never asked about turn-ons. Yet, you shared your very first kiss with Juyeon when you were 16.

It was a bit messy and hilarious because you had no idea what you were doing. You remember how when he dropped you off after school or after a playdate, he had this cute habit of kissing your hand goodbye. It was also at that age when you started going to parties – a party between friends, no alcohol, maybe just some cheap beer that tasted like grass. But that was fun and it was also the time when you were introduced to love, through couples and kisses.

Love has always been a foreign language to you. You know for a fact that love is what your parents share with each other, through physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts but also through struggles.

But you also know that the person you’re closest to doing those things is Juyeon. You both were always cuddling, fighting over movies or places to eat. You both would also cheer, support and reassure each other.

You both would always have each other on your minds, sending texts, calling or buying sweet things. It’s only fair that you thought you were in love with him, isn’t it?

And that faithful night, at your birthday party, he thought it would be a great idea to carry you and run around in circles until he lost his balance and fell with you laying on top of him. You didn’t know what was going through his mind, but you saw flames in his starry eyes, and then he pecked at your lips. He brushed it off by pulling you up and wishing you a happy birthday but your heart was racing and so was his.

“Sorry Ju, I woke up late, I didn’t want to keep you waiting,” you pout as you reached his car, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank god your prettiness makes up for lost time,” he jokingly hugs you, his hands laying a little low on your waist. “But you have to take responsibility for making me wait.”

“Juyeon! It’s been 5 minutes you can’t blame me for the delay!” You wriggle into his embrace and put your head in the crook of his neck, a little embarrassed but wanting to be close to him.

“I can, and that’s exactly what I’m doing,” he whistles, taking you out of his arms to observe the love bites on your fair skin. “Maybe you’d be on time if you hadn’t had so much fun last night.”

“Y-Yeah, I walked into a trap,” you stammered, speechless.

“The kind of trap you can’t refuse, I bet.”

And he opens the passenger door before giving you his hand to help you get in. You look at his hand and then straight into his eyes to understand where that confidence comes from, but he just smiles and nods.

“Come on, we have much to do before the carriage turns into a pumpkin.” He smiles and fights with the wind to tuck a wild strand of hair behind your ear.

Spending time with Juyeon is one of the things you adore the most in the world. You were so used to spending your days with him when you were teenagers that you almost forgot what it was like. The princess treatment, the cafe dates, the shopping and giving opinions on outfits, the restaurants. Now that you’re all grown up, reliving those moments feels a little bit odd but great. After all, you’re the same people who dance to the music in every corner shop and laugh at every silly move you make.

Going out with Juyeon is also all about treats and gifts. You have this implicit rule that when you’re out and about, you’re encouraged to pay in turns – be it at the restaurants, bars or for desserts. And of course, he pleases you more often than you please him, but you tend to buy more things related to him – matching items or clothes that reflect his style.

“Look at this cute bracelet! We should get it to celebrate our 10 years offriendship,” you beamed, slipping the bracelet around his wrist without a word of protest to see how it looks.

“But it’s paired with a promise ring?” He comments, in case you haven’t noticed and had a change of heart.

“Then we can get the ring in another 10 years,” you giggle and squeeze his hand to reassure him that this is what you want.

Happy with your little joke, you went to the cashier to buy the bracelets. But it sparked something within Juyeon’s heart. He may be slow to understand, but you don’t have to tell him twice. You consider him to be your significant other. That’s what a promise ring means.

After all, you wanted to commit yourself to him for the rest of your life. You’re his best friend and that should be normal. It is normal to stick by each other’s side. But why is his heart missing a beat?

If you ask Juyeon about his relationship with you, he would describe it as “enchanting”. You’re the most important thing to him. Ever since he bumped into you in 3rd grade, you two have been inseparable. But there’s something that’s always bothered him.

In the beginning, he thought it was because you were the only one that he was really close to. He didn’t look at you any differently. But every time you smiled, he felt a twist in his stomach. Then he made it his goal to make you blush and to kiss your hand. It was thrilling to see you all flustered by his own actions.

He grew up and unfortunately that feeling never went away. In the end, he thought that maybe it was just the hormones. A 16-year-old boy needs to get to know his body and its needs. That’s what he did. Eventually the feelings vanished, but the uncomfortable feeling stayed. Even when he was with his ex.

He’s well aware that you are in a relationship with Sunwoo and that the two of you are in love. He’s never been happier for you. After all the people who have taken advantage of you, you deserve someone positive. Someone who will be there for you and will make you feel loved and truly fall in love. Like Sunwoo.

And yet, he doesn’t know why he’s so attracted to you. He needs to explore his feelings. At least to understand them. Even if it costs him.

“How about a drink?” He asks as the sun is about to go down.

“No, you need to drive safely.” You flinched, clearly against the idea of losing him in such a stupid way.

“What about my place? You know I have this amazing balcony overlooking the sea.” He offers in return with a smirk.

“Deal,” you say with gleaming eyes.

You love Juyeon’s apartment; it has a soft and romantic atmosphere and it’s even more beautiful when the sun goes down. The many plants he has turn a warm orange with the colours of the sky and you swear, it’s so beautiful, like a haven of peace.

“Red or white?” He asks, holding the two bottles out for you.

“Anything’s fine, choose for me please Juyo,” you sing-song, happy to share this moment with him.

While you are setting up his balcony table with candles and wine glasses, he returns with a red bottle and appetisers. He gestures for you to sit on the bean bag and pour the wine like a real chef. You whistle, impressed by his newfound skill. Furthermore, it wouldn’t be Juyeon if he didn’t do a little dance to make you laugh before handing you your glass.

Now that he’s seated, you allow yourself to take in your surroundings. It’s quiet, but you can hear the faint music coming from the living room speakers. Juyeon has never liked the silence, so he always needs to have some kind of background music to feel comfortable. He says it calms him down, especially when he’s nervous, and you have to agree with that.

But does that mean that he was nervous right now?

He never needed music with you, as he always said your voice was his own melody – the harmony he couldn’t get enough of. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, pulling you out of your reverie.

You nod, knowing exactly what he means, and reach out to take his hand. He intertwines your fingers and, in the pink-orange hues of the sky you catch yourself blushing. You risk a glance to see him starring absent-mindedly into space and you seize the opportunity to stare him down.

His bangs, usually on his forehead are pushed back, giving him a more mature and sexy look. His eyes, in a beautiful crescent shape, shine with the intensity of the stars. His pretty nose sits up on his face, like a trophy ready to be claimed. And his lips. They’re curled into a gentle smile.

Without a care in the world, he runs his tongue over them and opens them as if he wanted to speak. But no sound comes out, except for the tongue he’s now biting. Suddenly, as if he was aware that you are looking at him, he turns to meet your gaze. Truth be told, you weren’t very discreet. His dark eyes hold yours, then move to your lips, and you see the faint beginnings of a smirk on his lips before he bursts into laughter. 

“Like what you see?” He points out, all smug.

That fucker.

You slapped him playfully before you realised you were biting your lips. Yet, he still looks at you as if you were the one who hung the stars in the sky and shone in their place.

All of a sudden, his eyes turn mischievous and you find yourself in his arms as he leads you into the living room. He turns up the music, grabs the camera, puts on a pair of framed glasses and starts dancing. You joined him, because there is no world in which you wouldn’t follow Juyeon. You dance like you’re in a club, grab the wine bottle and shout the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Juyeon films you through the mirror and you play along, you’re the model, he’s the artist. Until he puts the camera in a corner to film the both of you and starts to dance an old choreo that you both did. You smile broadly and the night goes by like this. In between drinking and dancing.

At some point, you find yourselves taking a stroll, jumping and dancing around poles. Oh, but you’re not drunk! Juyeon took out his camera and kept filming you, laughing. The man was hyping you up, the street was your runway! And even though it was a little embarrassing, you had a lot of fun. Trust Juyeon to make you feel the best!

Around midnight, you were eating ice cream in the nearest park when your phone screen lit up with a call.

Woo ☼.

Oh, no. You forgot to inform him you were going out with yesterday’s activities.

“Babyyyyy,” he whines, sounding tired, “where you aaaat.”

“At Juyeon’s, we-“ You’re cut off as Juyeon steals your phone, brushing against your hands a little too long.

“Sorry,” he hiccups, “is it all right if we keep each other company for the night? I can’t drive right now.” Juyeon tries to apologise but is cut short by Sunwoo.

“Had a fun night I see?”

You can feel his anger rising from the way his voice drops an octave. Sunwoo has always been jealous of Juyeon. When you got together, he was very insecure at first, knowing that you had a male best friend and seeing you spend so much time with him. It took some time, but the trust you’ve built up has overcome that awful feeling.

You still have to reassure him sometimes, and that’s okay because Juyeon is your best friend and Sunwoo is your boyfriend. You love them both in different ways. You talked about it with Juyeon and later he got jealous because you spent all your time with Sunwoo on your trip to comfort him. It wasn’t easy, but they learnt to trust you. Along the way, you may have convinced yourself that everything would be fine.

“Sunny, baby, I’m sorry I didn’t inform you. I will sleep at Juyeon’s and be back first thing in the morning before you wake up,” you say in a soft voice, trying to soothe him.

“I’m sorry too,” he voices out, letting out a breath lost in his own emotions, “I panicked when I didn’t see you at home. But I’m glad you’re all right.”

“I know,” you sighed, glancing at Juyeon, “I’m in good hands, I promise.”

“Hurry back, I miss my goodnight kiss already.” He replies, seemingly content with the current arrangement.

“Will be there in no time,” you giggled.

“I love you,” he answers, a smile blooming in his voice.

“I love you too.”

He hangs up just as he called, smiley, which makes you beam in return. However, when you turn to face Juyeon he’s anything but smiling. In his frowning eyes you decipher a sombre mood. Something in complete contrast to the joy you shared tonight. You reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls it back before you can do so.

“We should head back, it’s getting late.” He says firmly.

Your heart breaks at his words. Without giving him a chance, you cupped his face, forcing him to look at you. The hurt look in his eyes makes your heart swell. You scan him to see if he wants to answer, but he avoids you. You’re so close and yet so far away. You feel like throwing up, because your best friend never acted like this around you. He never once avoided you nor stopped talking to you. Thus, you did the only thing you can think of.

You hugged him, as tightly as you can.

You feel his heart pounding and wonder if it’s from the unknown emotions he’s carrying or from your physical touch. You put your hand on his broad chest to feel his heartbeat and plant a kiss on it to reassure him. It stirs something in Juyeon and he hugs you back so tightly you think you’ll lose your breath. He holds you in his arms for what seems like an eternity, your head nestled in the crook of his neck. But you don’t complain, you felt safe.

You stay there, in the warm embrace that contrasts with the cool of the night, squeezing him a little tighter when you hear passers-by whistling lovingly at you. When he lets go, you can see the faint pink colour that tints his cheeks, brought out by the street lights. But little did you know that you have the same colours on your face, if not stronger?

“You okay?” You ask as you rub small circles on his back.

“Yes I am,” he lies openly in a husky voice, “I’m okay.”

Juyeon is fucked. Completely screwed. He’s absolutely, unquestionably and sincerely in love with you.

He has been for quite some time, now that he thinks about it. But he never admitted it. That damned twist in his gut that never left his mind, he knows where it comes from now.

In order to cope with his newfound feelings he lets you use the bathroom first while he changes the sheets and tidies up the living room. He’s floating, not sure if he will ever get a wink of sleep. Especially if you both sleep in the same bed. Because to you, he’s just your best friend, the one you’ve slept with countless times. No strings attached.

He can’t imagine you in his arms, nor can he look forward to waking up by your side. You’re not his.

“Juyo?” Your tired voice echoes from the corridor. “C-Can I get some clothes?”

Oh. That doesn’t mean anything. You have always shared clothes. Then why was he so excited to see you in them? Right, because he’s madly in love with you and knows you will look ravishing in his big shirt. Also because sharing clothes is such an intimate thing couples do. If he lends you his current pyjamas because they have his scent on them, you couldn’t blame him. He’s just a man.

“Are you coming?” You inquire, walking towards him.

It’s worse than anything he’d ever imagined. The shirt is definitely too big for you going down one shoulder, showing the beginning of your chest and reaching halfway up your thighs. What’s more, your pretty thighs are covered by the shorts that rises up when you sit next to him. He looks away, embarrassed to be staring at you.

“I will sleep on the couch, don’t worry about me.”

“No way,” you retorted with little energy left, “your bed is big enough for both of us.”

He’s been acting strange today. First he was feeling all overconfident, then flirtatious, followed by anger, and now shyness and embarrassment. You take a piece of the blanket lying on his lap and you stretch your legs out on the sofa, letting your head fall on his shoulder. Sleep can wait, Juyeon can’t.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Don’t lie to me.” You ask, breathing softly into his ear.

“No,” he shudders, with a faraway look in his eyes, “I’m not okay and I don’t know how to get through this.”

“What’s wrong Juyo? Do you want to talk about it?” You pause to gauge his reaction. “Is it about your ex?”

“More or less,” he breathes out. “The breakup wasn’t that bad, like I said, it was a mutual decision. It’s just- when you started dating Sunwoo I was so happy for you, happy that you found someone who was worthy of your love and loved you the right way. And I thought I would be happy if I found that special someone, I longed for it. But I ended up in different relationships throughout the year, never lasting more than two months. And that’s ok, maybe they weren’t the right person for me, maybe it wasn’t the right time, maybe this, maybe that. I really thought I was going to be happy and I ended up getting my heart broken every time. As much as I believe now that I don’t deserve to be loved. I think I went into my last relationship in that state of mind, and I think she felt it too. Hard not to, is it? We had long talks and great times together; I think I really liked her. And I know she liked me back, I’m just not ready to be in an exclusive relationship right now.”

And everything he said is true, he’s more than happy for you and he thought he would be happy. But he can’t be happy in a relationship that isn’t with you.

“There’s also something I’ve never told you,” he continues, sniggering at the absurdity of his reasoning. “Something I should have told you a long time ago, it doesn’t make me proud, and it sort of reflects why my love life was so messed up. I can’t say it’s the only reason, but it played a big part in my mental health.”

You want to cry so badly, he has endured it all alone and it must have weighed heavily on him. At this point, you’re just waiting to speak and respond but every word that comes out of his beautiful mouth leaves you speechless. You’re such a bad friend that you’ve never noticed the way his eyes get dark and gloomy, or how he cancels your plans at the last minute because he’s got something else planned. When in fact it was sadness overload. Sure everyone has their own coping mechanisms, you wish you could have been there for him, but here you were Juyeon letting you in and you’re here to stay.

“It’s been two months since I was diagnosed with burnout and stopped working. It started off as something mild when I came home more exhausted than usual. I thought I wasn’t getting enough sleep but then I started to feel mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. It was hard to concentrate on my daily tasks and you know how much I love my job? I felt like I was going to die because I couldn’t even have fun doing what I love. Going out with you, my friends or my ex felt great, but I wasn’t as invested as I used to be.” He pauses to catch his breath and swallow back the tears.

“Don’t get me wrong, today was absolutely perfect and I was hyped, I still am. Today felt like going back to when we were sixteen and I loved it. I’m actually starting to feel better. The break up helped a lot because it was taking a toll on my mental health. I know I said I liked her and I did, but I couldn’t help but feel unwanted. Even when she was riding me,” he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

“And it hurts that I didn’t have the guts to talk to you about it because I was afraid of how you would react. Like, hello, I’m taking a break from work because I feel like shit? And I would really like to get your approval so that I can move on. Because you mean everything to me,” he ends shyly.

“Juyeon,” you say in a soft and caring voice, “you mean the world to me too.”

You continued. “You mean the whole world to me and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I could come up with something, but it wouldn’t make up for what you’ve been through. You are strong, stronger than anyone. It’s so hard to keep your head above water that I’m proud of you for speaking up and even stopping work. Because focusing on your health is the most important thing. Situation and money may go but I will always stay. I’m so proud of you, proud of who you are and who you’re becoming. You’ll never stop growing and I’ll be there every step of the way, watching you blossom and be happy.”

“And I know you feel like you’ll never be happy,” you resumed, holding his hand. “The only thing I can say is, as hard as it seems, everything you live makes you stronger. Even more beautiful. There’s someone in this world waiting patiently for you, to love you properly, to make you feel loved and wanted. You’re an exceptional person, Juyeon. By that I mean you go above and beyond the call of duty, you give your total support and care, you show up when something’s wrong and I bet you’re an even more protective lover. We did everything together, cried, laughed, smiled, loved. My youth was filled with you and I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t happy because you were and are always by my side.”

“Today was the best time I’ve had in weeks, and that’s because I am with you. We danced, a lot. And you know how dancing has always been our escape,” you paused as you saw the first hint of a smile creep across his face as you continued. “I saw your smile, it was genuine and you were so beautiful. It may have been hard, you’ve been hard on yourself, but today the man I saw was happy. I’m happy because you’re happy, and I’m sad when you’re sad. We are one Juyeon, and I want you to know that I’m here for you, always.”

Long before you have finished speaking, he has taken you in his arms. His embrace is not heavy, but you can feel the weight on his shoulders lighten. You have so many feelings for him, they all blend together and you don’t seem to feel the butterflies in your stomach or the fire he has lit in your heart.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he confesses.

“And what would I be without you?”

Your head rests on his chest and he’s suddenly afraid you can hear his heart beating. You’re so beautiful, your tired eyes fighting sleep and your lashes fluttering. His shirt slipped off your shoulder as he held you in his arms and the permanent smile on your face makes him completely weak. He could kiss you right now. If only you were single.

“Let’s go to sleep, hm?” He caresses your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Together?” You cracked yet another smile.

“Together,” he grins from ear to ear.

Your arms find their way around his neck and you bend your head to make an implicit request. His hands go around your waist and below your knees before he stands up and carries you bridal style. You both laugh at the absurdity of the situation, but also blushed at the romantic gesture. He sets you down on (what his brain calls) your side of the bed and plants a kiss on your forehead.

He then goes through his nightly routine before coming back to you, wrapped in the covers, fast asleep. His heart is about to explode. Now that he is aware of his feelings, he is overwhelmed by the love he has been repressing. He slides in next to you and holds back from embracing you. And if you happen to get close and make your way into his arms, he’ll be delighted to hold you tight.

“Sleep well Starlight, I love you,” he mumbles, kissing your hair.

“I love you more Juyo.”

Waking up the next morning wasn’t as awkward as Juyeon might have thought after the pseudo-confession you heard. He woke up first when he felt you shift in his arms. Because yes, you ended up in his arms, face against his torso. He tried not to make a big deal out of it, calming his breathing and enjoying the warmth of your body. Absentmindedly, his hand caresses your tangled hair, smoothing it and slowly waking you from your slumber.

“Good morning Starlight,” he says, honey dripping from his hoarse voice. “Slept well?”

“Like a baby, you?” You yawned, looking up from his chest.

“Even better than a baby.” He doesn’t want to let you go, once you’re out of his bedroom he’ll have to go back to his little miserable life without your starlight to light it up.

“Shall we take you home? Your boyfriend might get impatient,” he laughs, remembering the events of the previous night.

“Well, he’ll have to wait until I’m full from breakfast! I know someone who makes pancakes to die for,” you winked as you get out of his clothes and disappear into the bathroom.

You know you said you’d be back before he wakes up, and you want to. You miss him. But being in Juyeon’s arms, feeling the regular beat of his heart, makes you feel at home. You don’t want to end what you both have now.

You eat breakfast in relatively silence, except when Juyeon tries to flip the pancakes in the frying pan only to have one stick to the wall. And you watch him adoringly from where you sit, trying to make up for his silliness.

In the end, you leave his apartment in no time at all, dreading your return to your own home. Even though you know that Sunwoo is patiently waiting for you. The last two days you spent with Juyeon were out of time, it was an enchanted interlude and the return to real life suddenly seems very difficult.

He drops you off in front of the building, not without kissing you on the cheek and saying goodbye for the last time. You try not to think of it as a date night as you head for the front door but he’s quick to say “We’re not done yet, you’ll see me more often now” he chimed as he watches you smile and gets in.

The smile doesn’t leave your face until you turn the key in the lock and come face to face with Sunwoo, smiling from head to toe. He takes you in his arms and spins you around before planting kisses all over your face.

“Sunny,” you giggled, “please.”

“But I missed you,” you press a kiss to his lips as he answers, and you feel him smile through it.

“I’m sorry I overreacted, you know I get scared easily, but I shouldn’t take it out on you when you haven’t done anything,” he apologised, bowing his head.

“No, it’s my fault too,” you shake your head. “We had a crazy night and when I woke up you were gone. I was also late and didn’t want to keep him waiting.”

“You know that I’m jealous of Juyeon, right? He might be your best friend, but he might see you as more than that. You can’t say you didn’t want him to wait, because what, you’re willing to make me wait like yesterday but not him? It’s unfair, because you always end up prioritising him.” He bellows, frustrated.

“Sunwoo please,” you begged. “Sunwoo, listen to me, please.” He takes a step back, feeling his anger rising.

“To say what? That you needed to be with him? That he needs you? Bullshit, look me in the eye and tell me he doesn’t have feelings for you!” He shouts in a pissed off rage.

He goes back into the living room and you follow him to see him pacing back and forth. You can tell he’s furious. He always gets angry when you mention Juyeon and it pisses you off. You can’t even spend a day with your best friend because he gets jealous? You’ve been together long enough to think he’s finally understood that he’s the one you love. But as displeased as you are, you’ll never stop telling him and reminding him that you love him. Because couples fight, because he’s insecure and because you care.

“You might as well develop feelings for him!” He spits vociferously.

“He broke up with his girlfriend and lost his job,” you drop, tired of this pointless battle. “So yes, he needed me. And yes, I needed to be with him. I feel like an absolutely shitty friend because I’ve been sitting in his company for weeks and I didn’t even notice that his heart was being broken to pieces. You can shout at me as much as you want Sunwoo, but you’re the one I love. Juyeon may need me again in the future and I’ll be there for him, but at the end of the day I love you and only you.”

“You’re lying. T-There’s no way he…“ He tries to take your hand but you step back, annoyed.

“Have I ever lie to you, Sunwoo?”

The sheepish and upset look on his face is enough to tell you that he’s blaming himself. So you lead him over to the sofa and tell him everything, from the break-up to his exhaustion, which means burnout, but leave out the private details. It’s a lot to take in, and you wonder if he’ll ever believe you. Why would you lie about something so important?

You love Sunwoo, you really do. But you can’t help but be a little irritated by his behaviour. You feel terrible for even thinking and feeling this way, but Juyeon is your best friend! What was wrong with that? What doesn’t he understand about the word “best friend”? You sighed as you take him in your arms and stroke his back, both to calm him down and to ease your own mind. You hold each other for a while, for as long as your hearts desire, but your minds wander to Juyeon. You miss him and you wonder what he’s up to, when you’ll see each other again. Another sigh escapes your lips and Sunwoo looks at you questioningly.

“Movie?” You ask, trying to divert your attention from Juyeon.

“It’s 11,” he chuckles, finally at peace.

“Yeah, so? We can order pizzas and spend the day at home?” You kiss his hand with doe eyes.

“Sounds like a fabulous idea,” he quickly grabs his phone to place an order, “same as usual?”

“I’m feeling adventurous today, so pick whatever you like!”

You hear your own phone buzzing as he focuses on the app again. And obviously it’s the boy of all the arguments, the one who’s been on your mind since you got home and who seems to be distracting you a lot.

Juyo <3 (1)

I miss ya, whatcha doing?

Thinking about u

That ain’t possible

Whyyyy

Because I’m thinking about you

“Who are you talking to with that smiley face?” Sunwoo asks, tilting his head.

“Changmin, he’s talking about the person he met and he seems so in love.”

It's a half-hearted lie, because Changmin told you about the person he recently met, but also because if you say Juyeon's name right now, civil war will break out.

Juyo <3

Oh yeah, prove it?

Seconds later, your phone rings with an incoming call from Juyeon.

Juyo <3

JUYEON YOU CAN’T DO THIS

YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

Aw pretty’s scared by a sudden phone call?

Actually…

You take a second to answer, pondering if it’s a good idea to tell him about your couple’s conflict. Especially when he’s the one causing it.

Juyo <3 (1)

Am I disturbing you?

You always turn my world upside down

Same goes for you Starlight ;)

So?

I had a fight with Sunwoo

Nothing bad, we already made up

But it’s becoming a recurring thing, and I hate it

Have you talked about it?

That it’s getting hard for you?

Yes and no

We always talk about it, set limits and make up but weeks later it’s as if the conversation never happened

As much as I love him I’m tired Ju

No, you don’t have the right to say you’re tired, because that would mean you’re ready to give up on your relationship for a few fights?

I’m afraid that’s not a valid reason

And I know you’re not the type to give up on someone you love

So take matters into your own hands, spend the day with him and make out ffs

Yeah, haha, you’re right

We’ll eat pizzas and watch a film, that’ll definitely help

And I’ll see if he’s nice enough to make out with him

I can be good for you instead ;)

Yah! You’re losing points Lee Juyeon!

I’m only aiming for the 10s sorry!

Right in the bull’s eye

Which is my heart yes

GTG JUYO

TTYL I LOVE YOU

<3

And I love you more <3

You saw his message through the notification, which you cowardly rejected, but that didn’t stop you from smiling. The conversation had to end quickly, as you were venturing into uncharted territory that doesn't leave you impassive. Besides, Sunwoo was getting suspicious of your big smile.

And he’s right, because what the hell was that? You’re such a coward whose heart beats a hundred miles an hour. He’s definitely winning points, but you’ll never admit it, and to what end? Your heart doesn’t know yet.

On the contrary, Juyeon’s heart beats wildly at your bravery. He doesn’t want to flirt despite his growing feelings, but you leave the door open too wide for him not to come in.

You’re still his best friend, so if you ever need advice or a listening ear, he’ll be there. Like that horrible joke about making out, he hated it. But he knew that it would make you laugh and feel better, because he knows you better than anyone else.

So why can’t he read your feelings? You're not usually so cryptic for no reason, he's sure of that. Yet the changes in your heart can be seen gradually: your sweet words, as well as the ambiguous ones, all carry a special and deep meaning. You’re a book Juyeon is dying to read, but you’re not descriptive enough for him to decipher just yet.

Sunwoo used to read you easily, but he’s not sure of anything anymore. He knows that you love him, that your love language consists of words of affirmation and that you never stop reminding him of it. And yet his insecurities always get the best of him and you end up fighting. The truth is, he’s afraid. You’ve always spent a lot of time with Juyeon and that’s fair, you’ve known each other for almost ten years. But shouldn’t you make up for that time with your one-year boyfriend?

He knows he can’t restrict you or your outings, that would be a dick move and he’s not a dick. You have lots of boy friends and he’s okay with that, but Juyeon? Juyeon annoys him. He seems too perfect to be true:  his looks, his gentle and romantic nature. He’s in a one-sided competition because Juyeon couldn’t care less. Or so he thought until now.

Halfway through the film, you're cuddled up in his arms, laughing, when his phone vibrates. Why on earth is Juyeon texting him?

Juyeon (1)

I just wanted to apologise for yesterday. This is not a valid reason, but I wanted to keep my best friend to myself for a while. I’m sorry if that hurt you.

Apology accepted. We’re adults and you’re defo not the one to blame but I appreciate it.

Thanks man

It cost Juyeon a lot to send that message. But in his place, he would have been furious if the situation had happened to him. So he toned it down, to ease the tension and make you feel better. But he’d do it again any time; anything to spend time with you.

And that’s exactly what happened in the weeks that followed.

You spent the whole week with Sunwoo after your meeting with Juyeon, going with him to his band rehearsals, shopping for clothes, accessories or window shopping, going on dates to the cinema, the park and restaurants. You did everything with him.

But that didn’t stop you from texting Juyeon every day. Sometimes he was the one who initiated the conversation, and other times you had to spam him to ask his opinion on the latest clothes you bought or because you missed him. Your weekly outings have also become two or three times a week, and you often meet up on his balcony for a night of dancing and drinks.

Everything is done with respect for your relationship, but you feel his hands on you longer than necessary, always within limits and sometimes in places that make you blush. For an example, he would place them on your hips, and you would be a fool to say that his little touches did not make your heart flutter. When he opens the door for you, when he orders for you without asking and never makes a mistake, or even when he gives you presents that you’ve looked at with envy. He’s so observant and attentive that causes butterflies in your stomach. The more time you spend with him, the more you can’t deny the attraction you feel.

He makes you feel like you are 16 again.

He kisses your forehead, cheek or hand when he drops you off. He holds your hand so you don’t get lost in the crowd. Even if it’s just an excuse, you let him because deep down you want him to.

And you hated yourself for it. You feel so guilty about Sunwoo. Yes, Juyeon may be a little more enterprising than usual, but he hasn’t changed his ways. You’re the one who reacts to harmless words and lazy touches. But your heart hasn’t changed. You love Sunwoo. Those feelings for Juyeon aren’t real. It is an attraction that arises because you spend all your time together, because he’s handsome and cares for you.

You’re not… in love with him.

Isn’t that right?

“Sweetheart, I bought fried chicken on the way home!” Sunwoo says one day after his rehearsal.

“Oh Sunny, you don’t know how much I’ve been craving it,” you clap, looking forward to devouring it. “Thank you.”

“Can I get a hug for being the most awesome boyfriend ever?” He asks sweetly.

“Oh you do,” you giggle, jumping into his arms.

“I love you,” he kisses your nose.

“Me too,” you reply, tiptoeing to kiss his forehead.

“Sunnyyyy,” you call out his name on a Friday afternoon. “Can I go out for the night with Kev, Minnie, Chani and Ju?”

“Sure! Don’t come back too late hm? And be careful.”

“Yes! I’ve got the four horsemen of the apocalypse to look after me and myself!” You laughed.

“Have fun Sweetheart, I love you,” he whispers, kissing your forehead.

“Me toooo Sunny,” you smiled.

And yet, as he does his best to be there for you, to shower you with love and care, you notice that your interactions are gradually diminishing. He’s not the problem but you are. Just like yesterday, you’ve been exchanging messages and at the end of all your conversations you have this cute habit of saying I love you. Except this time, you haven’t replied. You liked his message and replied with a heart.

But that’s not the only case, because you catch yourself not saying “I love you” back when you talk to him. Yet you’re still physically and intimately close. It’s as if you’re giving yourself to him in order to compensate for the emotional changes that you’re going through. And then what? You won’t even be able to kiss him? Hold his hand? Be intimate? You felt terrible, and this has been going on for months.

Perhaps the best (or worst) thing to do is to talk to him about it.

“Sunny? Can we talk?” You say out of the blue one morning.

“Yes baby, tell me?” He replies as he comes out of the bathroom, shirtless.

“Get dressed first,” you giggle.

“Why, don’t you like what you see?” He pouts, crossing his arms to emphasise his torso and you look away, ashamed to be turned on when you’re about to break his heart.

“Oh I do, but you’re distracting me from the point!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs as he pulls on a t-shirt, “is it better now?”

“Yes, thank you,” you sigh.

“Are you okay?” He asks suddenly, sensing your discomfort. “You know you can tell me anything, I’m here for you.”

“Sunwoo, I-“ you take his hand in yours for support. “You need to know that I love you, it has never changed and it will never change, the feelings I have for you are very much real and I cherish them as much as I cherish you.”

“You’re not breaking up, are you? Because I won’t let you.” His eyes are shining now and you want to go back in time. You want to erase everything that has happened in the last two and a half months, the growing romantic feelings and the hurt.

“Sunwoo, I’m not breaking up with you, you’re the person I care about the most in the world, I would never let you down. And I hate myself for what I’m about to say.” You take a deep breath and as you do you know he’s figured it out and tears start to roll down his sweet face.

“I- fell in love with Juyeon,” you drop your head in shame.

You don't have the courage to look up and see the disappointment on his face, but you force yourself to. And when you finally did, his reaction catches you by surprise. It was obviously pain and sorrow, but also resilience?

“May I ask, how?” His voice is low, almost a murmur, but his eyes search yours for the truth.

“I- don’t know, it just happened.”

“Come on, you don’t just fall in love with another man by accident,” he laughs sarcastically.

“And yet I did!” You raise your voice in annoyance. “I didn’t choose it Sunwoo. And I would go back in time if I could!”

He takes a minute to consider your words, to decide whether or not you’re telling the truth. You didn’t expect this conversation to be easy, but he doesn’t make it any easier for you. You expected him to be in denial, to yell at you and cry. Instead he went straight towards the acceptance stage and he had this heartless look on his face. You knew you deserved it because he’s right; you don’t fall in love with another man by chance.

“Does he know? That you-“ he struggles to find the words, but you let him, because it has been hard for you too. You’re in love with your best friend, and you’ve probably been in love with him since you were 16. “That you love him?”

“No, oh god no!” You panic, finally thinking of the consequences, “I wanted to tell you first because I love you and I owe you the truth.”

“But you intend to tell him?” He worries and suddenly you feel like you’re talking to your best friend, the same conversation you had before you started dating Sunwoo.

“No Sunwoo, it was never a question of telling him or not. Yes, I love Juyeon romantically, but you’re my boyfriend. And I’m not trying to fool myself by saying that I still love you, I love you. And I love Juyeon too, but I’m not going to do anything with it.”

“You’re silly,” he chuckles affectionately. “Within the two months since our fight, I’ve watched you for a long time baby. I observed your body movements, your facial expressions and your words, hoping that it was all temporary and that we’d come out of it stronger together. But all I saw was love, but towards someone else. You came home giddy, eyes full of stars. Sometimes even in a frenzy of exaltation from which I found it hard to pull you out, because knowing that you were happy made me happy. So I won’t say that I knew it, but I sensed it. And I know that you love me, I have never doubted it and I don’t doubt it now. But you love him silly. Perhaps even more than you love me. I’m not mad at you, I saw you falling for him, I just ignored the signs. And I know you didn’t choose it, nor did you want to break my heart. Your love for him is stronger and I can hear it. Thank you for telling me, it must have cost you a lot.”

You start to cry, because what else can you do but cry? You love him and it hurts you to hear him say that you love someone stronger. But he’s right. No matter how much you try to deny it, you love Juyeon unconditionally.

“Why,” you cry out.

“Why what baby,” he takes you in his arms, guiding your head in the crook of his neck and your tears start to soak his t-shirt.

“I’m pretty sure I broke your heart and stomped on it, so why aren’t you mad at me? Why are you taking it so well? I don’t understand. I feel like shit and you’re too perfect?”

“You have no idea of the pain, anger and emptiness I feel right now, I’m far from perfect,” his voice falters as he tries to hold back his tears, “but I can’t take it out on you, even though you deserve it, because you didn’t want it? Also because I didn’t speak when I realised you were drifting away. I know you blame yourself, and yes, I am heartbroken, I can’t wait to cry but I don’t want to make you sadder than you already are.”

“I don’t deserve you Sunny, I’m sorry, I love you to the moon and back,” you smile shyly.

“And I love you just as much, thank you for the love that doesn’t make me feel lonely,” he smiles back as he rubs your back in slow motions. “Can I kiss you? One last time?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

When his lips touch yours, it has never felt better. The kiss is a little salty because you have both been crying, but also sweet. It is your last kiss and you devour each other’s lips as if it were the first, not wanting to part. You quickly run out of air, but he presses his lips to yours to convey his feelings one last time and you smile, knowingly, as you kiss him back.

“You should go to him,” he says, lips swollen and eyes puffy.

“Yes, to be with my best friend. And you should call Eric for the same reason,” you sobbed, and he giggles.

“Coward,” he laughs, “but I will.”

“And Sunwoo,” you start again. “I would never do anything without your approval.”

“Thank you,” he replies, touched and aware of the feelings you will always have for him. “For everything, but especially for being with me.”

“I should be the one thanking you, my lifesaver,” you kissed his cheek as you take his hand in yours. “Let’s remain good friends, in the future.”

“Absolutely, if I ever get over you,” he laughs in a reassuring way.

You know that the joke is just his way of breaking the tension, so you laugh it off, saying that he should, and you imitated a knife at your throat as a warning, which makes him laugh heartily. Then, your heart sinks at the sound of you no longer being the recipient. Yes you fell in love with someone else, and it will be just as hard to get over him. But you have Juyeon, and he’s your rock.

Juyo <3

Juyo can I come over?

Sure, is something wrong?

These three words are enough to turn your heart upside down. He’s always been thoughtful, and now that you’ve accepted your feelings, you feel butterflies swirling in your tummy.

Juyo <3

Sunwoo and I broke up

I’ll pick you up in 5

Yes pls, drive safely

He pulls up in the parking lot exactly 5 minutes after his message, just like he said. You rush down the stairs, too eager to melt into his arms to wait for the lift. He doesn’t have time to get out of the car before you throw yourself on him, crying. Tears of separation and heartbreak, and tears of joy when you see him again because you know you love him.

“I’m here,” he whispers in a panicked voice, probably not expecting you so soon and in such a state. “I’m right here, let it out.”

And you do, the feelings you’ve been burying for 2 months are just waiting to be expressed. You cry until your body aches from lack of air and your eyes are dry. Finally, you shiver and regret having gone out so quickly without covering up. But Juyeon is just as quick to pull the jacket he was wearing over your shoulders and you hum happily as his scent washes over you.

“Let’s go home?” He caresses your hair tenderly.

You’re amazed that he doesn’t ask any questions, he just stands by you and supports you through this difficult ordeal that he knows only too well. And the truth is, he’s even sad for you. No matter how much he loves you, you’re the definition of love to him. For you to break up with Sunwoo, for whatever reason, doesn’t make any sense. It’s not his place to ask if you don’t tell him first, so he just holds your hand on the way back, and when he has to let go to change gear, he makes sure he puts it back on your thigh.

This makes you blush like a tomato, how dare he put his big hand on your thigh, almost completely covering it whole. You’re pretty sure your feelings are written all over your face, but he mistakes your blushing for embarrassment, when in fact it’s just romantic stimulation. You look up to see if his hand placement has any effect on him, only to find that he is blushing as well. Being as dense as he is, you mistook his shyness for embarrassment.

You two definitely make quite the pair.

“Make yourself at home Starlight,” he says as he opens the front door, never stopping to hold your hand.

You step inside as he tells you to and try to take off your shoes, planning to curl up on the sofa under the blanket while you wait for him and his hugs. But he had other ideas as he grabs your wrist to pull you closer, pinning you between him and the newly closed front door. Your surprise translates into a gasp that becomes a choke as he drops to one knee. Your heart pounds in your chest at the way he looks at you, worshipping you. Without warning, he bends down to untie your shoelaces, still smiling and even a little mischievous.

“What?” He smiles proudly. “Can’t I look after my Starlight?”

You open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out, too surprised by his playful tone.

“Cat got your tongue?” He sticks out his tongue as he stands up.

“Yes, you got it!” You slap him gently as a reward for nervousness.

“Not in my mouth though…” He whispers so quietly you almost don’t hear it, and that earns him another slap, only he steps back to avoid your blow and you stumble and fall on top of him.

“I guess it will be easier to carry you now,” he chuckles, kissing your forehead.

He puts his arms under your knees and around your waist and you squeal as he lifts you up, bridal style. This man will be the death of you. Oh, how you would kiss him if you weren’t so heartbroken and hadn’t just broken up. And he would kiss you just as much. You’re both madly in love and it shows.

He wraps you in a blanket as he lays you down on the sofa before kissing your forehead for the umpteenth time. Then he goes into the kitchen and fetches your favourite foods, drinks and desserts, which he sets out on the coffee table. You were surprised by the homemade dishes, as if he’d made them with a special purpose in mind. But he doesn’t say a word or make a comment, he just slips under your blanket when he’s done and hugs you, breathing in your scent.

You stay in each other’s arms for a while, not saying a word, just enjoying your hearts beating in unison. It feels heavenly, relaxing and you can almost feel yourself coming back to life. If Sunwoo was your lifesaver, Juyeon is your guardian angel. He is always looking out for you and giving you his utmost special care, just like right now, for no particular reason (even if there is one now).

He doesn’t pry, he just waits for you to speak while he grabs the remote to put on the latest show you’ve started together and feeds you. You’re quite grateful for the little comments he makes during the show, distracting you from the truth: the burning love you have for him that consumes you. In the end, you tell him that you still love Sunwoo, but that your recent incessant arguments have taken their toll on you.

That, against all odds, you’ve spilt up properly. And that it will be a while before you move on, but that the door is not closed. You made sure to emphasise this part, because what if there’s a small chance that Sunwoo was right and Juyeon is a fool in love with you? You’re not ready yet, but when the time comes, you want to confess your love to him and live out the childhood romance you’ve always dreamed of, until death do you part.

The next few of weeks passed in a blur, and you have basically settled into Juyeon’s apartment – going back and forth to your house to pick up your things and put them in his closets. Your shoes sits nicely in the new shoe rack he bought for you to go out together, and your toothbrush sits proudly next to Juyeon’s. You even have matching ones. Oh, and Juyeon can finally happily say that you’ve got your side of the bed, with your cute belongings on the bedside table and a picture of the two of you at 16 in a frame.

In fact, you slowly become a domestic couple-like going grocery shopping together and going on so-called dates. Life with Juyeon is easy. Whether you go out at dawn or dusk, he’s always with you, matching your pace and holding your hand from the streetlights to the dancing starlight. When you saw your hands touching and your steps overlapping, it reminds you of your first encounter and the fluttering of your heart. How you shyly looked at him, only to see him already looking at you lovingly, red on his cheeks. That cold winter you spent together was actually the warmest moment of Juyeon’s life, and that day might have been the day you hid a present for each other in your sleeve.

Even more slowly, your relationship with Juyeon develops as the months go by. It was hard not for it to blossom, considering the fact that you live together and that you absolutely do everything together, but it’s happening. Juyeon has started to walk around bare chest when he gets out of the shower and sometimes! He even goes to bed naked, with just his pyjama pants hanging low on his hips.

Of course, you get to snuggle up against his warm chest and cuddle to sleep. When it comes to sleeping, you don’t even try to fall asleep on your own side of the bed anymore because you always wake up in each other’s arms. You have definitely grown closer and closer in just a few months.

Your touches with one another have become more sensual and romantic and your words more flirtatious. You wear his clothes more often than usual, sometimes getting out of bed in just his t-shirt and underwear, awakening certain feelings within him. From time to time, he dares to put his hands under your (his) t-shirt and kiss your forehead tenderly, for lack of being able to kiss your lips sensually and make you his, right when you wake up.

“All pretty for me hm?” He said the first time you went to sleep in this garment. “You know I’m just a man.”

And if you sat on his hips to cuddle him afterwards, maybe the message got through. Maybe a little too much, given that a few minutes later he pretended to be in a hurry and the water ran for a long time. He’s just a man.

Yes, your man.

Another time, when you were out shopping at the mall, people addressed you as a couple and you didn’t mind, oh no. Perhaps it was the smiley eye contact you made, or the way he held you in his arms and you leaned into him, almost as if you were going to kiss, that gave it away. At least, that’s what gave Sunwoo, who was watching you nearby, the courage to send you a message.

Woo ☼ (1)

Hi, hello! I saw you at the mall with Juyeon, can we talk? I’m with Changmin, we can ditch them together?

Hi Sunny!!! Sure we can, the cafe nearby?

Juyeon was a little reluctant to leave you alone with Sunwoo due to the countless nights you spent crying and the difficulty you had opening up (not to mention your blossoming love for Juyeon) but he quickly gave up because he knew you wanted it and he was happy to spend time with Changmin. Juyeon is the love of your life and you can’t pretend that he isn’t anymore.

“Hi Sweetheart, I saw you left your shopping bags with your man,” he laughs and you kick him under the table so as not to draw attention to yourself.

“Stop that Kim Sunwoo!” You whine.

“Stop what? Calling you sweetheart or calling him your man?”

“Both!” You laugh embarrassed and shy.

“How are you?” He changes the subject after one last laugh and you’re happy to see that he hasn’t changed, he’s still as playful and lively as ever.

“I’m fine, nothing has really changed since our last messages. I told you I got my dream job, so Juyeon and I are treating ourselves with my first salary. Oh, and Juyeon has also found a new job he’s really enjoying. Hence, the reason why we’re out shopping.” You went on to rave about your everyday life, happy to share this new chapter with him, whom you still love very much, just not romantically anymore.

“You must love him a lot,” he says softly, almost as if he were muttering to himself. “It’s cute, you’re cute, I’m happy for you.” And you don’t answer, curious to hear what he’s going to say next.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past six months,” he begins. “Thank you for always reaching out to me and not ghosting me despite the break-up, it meant a lot to me. Being away from you has been hard. I will not lie. But it also taught me that I was too dependent on you and it felt great to spend time by myself and with our friends. I got news from them and saw that you were doing well, as anyone going through a break-up would be. And it made me realise that, if you were fine, I should be fine, even if it was just a facade, that somehow the sadness would pass.”

You nod to let him know you’re listening and that you’re on the same wavelength as him.

“And it did,” he whispers almost happily, as if the weight he was carrying close to his heart has been lifted. “I thought I would love you for the rest of my life, but then I met someone.” You gasp at his words and tear up a little.

“It came as a blessing, without me even looking for it, and I can say that I’m happy now. So when I saw you so happy on Juyeon’s arm, looking at him lovingly like he hung the stars in the sky I thought: “Ah, you’re really on cloud nine with him”. I shouldn’t hold you back from your happiness. You have my blessing, not that you need it but date him, kiss him, make love and live happily ever after.” To emphasise his words, he squeezes your hand which he has started to hold somewhere in his monologue, and kisses it.

You swear you didn’t want to cry, and Juyeon will probably be worried to see your swollen eyes, but how can you remain impassive in the face of so much love? It’s true, you held back and would have kissed Juyeon if it wasn’t for Sunwoo. But now you’ll both be happy.

You chatted for quite a while, enjoying your reunion as friends, learning more about the person he had met and ranting about your life with Juyeon, when he appeared before you with Changmin, impatient to get you back. You missed him. How did you manage to live without Juyeon so far? Ecstatic, you jump into his arms and bid your goodbyes promising to meet again soon. As you walk away, Juyeon’s phone beeps and he just shrugs at the message in his inbox with a smile. Then he ruffles your hair, earning a pout from you that he kisses away at the corner of your lips. You wonder what the message was, but the kiss is definitely more important.

Sunwoo (1)

I’ve seen the way you look at each other, it’s full of love. Give it a shot!

Yes, there will be many more kisses now.

And here you are today, on Juyeon’s couch, enjoying your home date for the tenth anniversary of your friendship, with Sunwoo’s blessing in the back of your mind. You spent the day cooking together, sweet and savoury, having fun with the shapes of the cakes and pizzas (hearts and dicks like the children you are), playing games, dancing and listening to music in a good-natured atmosphere.

Today’s a day to celebrate your friendship. Yes friendship, when all you want to do is kiss him senseless. Maybe confessing today is not such a bad idea. Especially when you see him coming out of the shower in all his glory, beads of water running down his naked torso, hair tousled and wet, tongue running over his lips sensuously as he looks you straight in the eye, ready to pounce on you. Oh, and, his cinnamoroll pyjama pants, low on his hips and revealing the Apollo belt of his abs, make you smile as much as it turns you on.

Juyeon takes his place between your legs, smiling, his hot muscular back resting on your chest as he lays his head back on your shoulder, dampening your matching melody pyjamas. He chuckles as he turns his head to see you gawping. His big veiny hand that had been squeezing your thigh flies to your cheek, turning your flushed face towards him so he can kiss the pout at the corner of your lips. His beautiful lips linger a little longer on your neck, but you welcome his touch with open arms and lean into his embrace.

His eyes are full of stars when he rises from your embrace to grab the remote and turn on your series. But he remains seated between your legs, unconsciously resting a hand on your knee to preserve the intimacy you’re so immersed in. You help him on with his t-shirt, not without kissing his shoulder first, making him shiver. And your hands take the opportunity to wander down his torso to his waist, making him smirk as well. You become more and more adventurous, he loves it and can’t wait to run his lips all over your body, discovering all of it.

You place a kiss on the crown on his hair and when you notice that it’s already dry, an idea crosses your mind. Juyeon’s focus is back on the show, so much so that he can barely feel your hands playing with his hair. You give him a rather pleasant massage, moving down to the small of his chest, across his neck and up into his hair, twisting it between your fingers.

“How does it feel?” You murmured in a hushed tone.

“Heavenly,” he moans.

The tension is palpable as you continue your services, your hearts beating wildly, almost as one. He takes one of your hands in his to kiss it, the attention making you blush, before replacing it in his hair and nodding for you to continue. So you undertake one of the most romantic acts of love in your eyes, braiding his hair. Strand by strand, your fingers caress the edges of his face. The braids come undone as quickly as they are made, but he smiles broadly as he touches them, feeling butterflies in his stomach and his heart beating erratically.

“I could see our everyday life like this,” you whisper in his ear. “Together.”

Juyeon, who had been purring at your display of affection, becomes still when he hears your words. He slowly turns to face you with the most charming smile and tenderly takes your hand to place it on his chest, where his heart burns with love. The fire in his eyes burns inexorably, lighting up his already sunny face, unable to leave him. You’re captivated by this intensity and he doesn’t look away, also in love with your sparkling eyes, even when he reaches out to grab a little box that has always been right in front of your eyes. Yes, his love has always been on display. You were just too slow to catch on.

But you get it now. You’re two fools in love.

“You know how our youth is filled with each other’s names?” He says, voice a little hoarse and heart beating fast under your palm. “Well, my heart has never changed, I’ve always wanted to be with you. You are my breath of fresh air, the warmth that keeps me going through the winter, and the words I’m about to tell you will never melt away. My everything is all about you, it has always been about you.” He pauses to take a deep breath and kisses the palm of your hand, which he then links with his own, intertwining your fingers.

“I love you,” he sighs with love and happiness. “I love you so much that I was reading my destiny inside your eyes without even knowing it.” The flame of love he has carried all these years dances in his eyes, making him irresistible and captivating. Your heart is pounding in your chest as you wait for his question, palpitations he feels through your bound hands.

“Would you be mine?” His gaze, dropping to your lips then back to your eyes, is determined as he opens the velvet box to reveal two rings. Not just any rings, the matching promise rings to the bracelets you bought months ago. The ones on your wrists that you’ve never taken off.

As if on cue, as a sign of future commitment, he kisses your left ring finger and places the ring on your right with such tenderness that you almost cry. No, you’re pretty sure tears are rolling down your face because he puts his thumb under your eyes to gently wipe away the tears and kisses the salty drops that have run down your cheeks, close to your lips. With that, you mirror his actions by kissing the ring, his left ring finger and placing it on his right finger with a dazzling smile, as an unspeakable promise – that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together.

“I have always been yours. I love you Juyeon, so much that I’m going crazy.”

Even now, after confessing his feelings and hearing yours, he remains respectful and lets you make the first move with a victorious smile. You grin, feeling the cool material of the ring on your cheek as he cups your face in his hand, reminding you that this is all real and that he loves you.

And he does.

So you finally lean in, closing the gap between you to rest your lips on his. It was meant to be a soft and quick peck, but he captures your body and deepens the kiss, years of longing and wanting not to be wasted, leaving you breathless. His lips search yours every time you pull away, not wanting to let go, intoxicated by your lips and this new closeness. If you spend the rest of the evening making out and exploring each other, no one will say a word. Not even your neighbours.

Ah, you’ve never been in love and wanted to be with anyone as much as you do with him, and this since you were 16.

[inklore]

roadside delight

premise: joel should have known you'd be trouble when he found you on the side of the highway. he should have known you'd taste so fucking sweet too.

pairing: joel miller x (f)reader

word count: 1.1k

contents: hitch hiking, set in the late sixties to seventies but please read it however you'd like, unprotected piv, tiny bit of degradation, dirty talk, threats of coming inside, age gap if you want it to be one but i didn't specify, marking.

note: i actually wouldn't mind writing more from this down the road because i love this concept and i'm forever loving this old man.

haunted hoedown day four.

If Joel Miller had been told this morning that he would end up with a stranger bent against the seat of his old pickup, a moaning mess, and begging him to do filthy things to her: he would have told you to fuck off. 

Would have scowled at them and moved on with his day because he had no interest in whatever nonsense they would have been spewing to him. 

But here he was, this pretty thing moaning into the worn cushion of his seats, your shorts sitting on the floor of his pickup. Your nails gripping his wrist as his fingers dig into your hip as he fucks you hard. 

His name on your lips sounding better than it should, coming from someone he just picked up three hours ago. 

He should have known, just by the look of you. 

Your shorts shorter than any pair he’s ever seen, a leather bag over one arm, the other arm bare and lifted with your thumb held out into the air. The sweetest smile he’s seen in the whole state of California—which he was happily driving out of. 

A happy exit you too were excited to make as he, possibly against his better judgment, pulled over and let you hop up in his truck. Throwing your bag to the floor, the trusting grin on your face making him happy he picked you up and not some fornate creep. 

You were headed to New York. 

“I’m sick of the heat,” you said, trying to start a casual conversation with him. Joel’s habit of being off putting and quiet went unphased by you as you talked his ear off. 

But something told him there was more to the story. 

More about why you were leaving California. Why you were in such a rush to get out that climbing into the car with a complete stranger seemed like more of a promise than it did to just wait and take a bus. The safer option out of the two. 

It wasn’t his business to know unless you wanted to tell him, so Joel did what he did best and didn’t pry. Left it as was and listened to you talk, his eyes softening slightly when you sang along to the radio and his throat tightening when his gaze moved along your exposed thighs. The lack of neckline of your shirt making him grip the steering wheel a little harder to reign himself in. 

Coming off like a creep, let alone ogling a woman, was not his forte. He had been raised with a little more gentlemanly dna inside of him. 

Maybe it was the heat or the way you talked to him as if you'd known him for years instead of less than an hour, or maybe it was the way you knew every song on the radio, the station that never changed in his truck. The station that served him the best comfort and reminded him of home. 

You were a rare breed to him. 

“You ain’t got nowhere to stay?” He had asked you after you had disclosed to him all to eagerly about your big dreams in the big apple, and the lack of real plan you had to achieve them. Flying on hopes and dreams and the hundred dollars you had in your bag. 

“Nope,” you said with a smile. A smile that both made Joel uneasy and his own lips twitch. 

“You ain’t got no one waiting for you? Lookin’ for you?” 

“Why?” Your brows raised playfully, “you got other plans for me?” The scoff that left Joel made you laugh before your tone turned serious, looking out the window as you spoke. “No one’s looking for me or waiting.” you sigh, “you ever been so sick of listening to what people tell you to do? They know what's  best, and they know what you should do because it benefits them. It’s not even for your own wellbeing; they’re just trying to be saints. To live through you. To control you. I was just so sick of it. So, I just woke up one day and said, fuck it, and I left.” 

“No better way to find yourself than on the side of the highway.” Joel joked drly, and the reaction he got out of you was one he thinks if he had to hear over every state line he would have zero complaints about it. 

“And here I thought you were some uptight old man.”

“And here I thought you were trouble.” 

“Who said I’m not?” You smirked, gave him the smallest of winks that made him grin. “Troubles fun.” 

That’s why Joel should have known then. 

Should have known when he saw you on the side of the road.

When you jumped into his truck.

When you had him questioning himself.

He should have known you’d feel so good.

“Do you like when I touch you like this? I can keep going if you want me to.” You had said when you reached over and rubbed his growing erection through his jeans. Your mouth soon found itself wrapped around his cock before he pulled off the road, no longer being able to control himself.

He should have known you’d sound fucking sweet saying his name as he fucked you. 

“Is this what you do? Stand on the side of the road waiting for strange men to pick you up and fuck you, huh?” Joel’s words are low grunts murmured into your neck, a hand curving around your shoulder to give him better leverage. “Like a little fuckin’ siren.” His teeth graze the nape of your neck as he bites and sucks at the skin there. Leaving you with something to remember him by. A mark on you the way you’re leaving it on him. 

Your pussy clenches around his cock. Your moans and whimpers settling in the pit of his groin, that has his pleasure building and building. That makes him fuck you harder when you cry out for more. 

“Yes.” 

“It’s a good thing I pulled over then, fell into your little trap, and gave this pussy what it needed. I deserve a thank you for being so kind.” Your moan is muffled by the seat, your head attempts a nod as your body trembles against him. “I deserve to come in this pussy as much as I want. Get my fill before I leave you to find the next sorry asshole.” Joel grunts, curses under his breath as he holds your ass flush against his pelvis, lifting your hips to a new angle to fuck harder into your tightness. 

“Or maybe I’ll just keep you. Take you home with me and use you as my lil’ fuck toy, would’ya like that? To be used every day the way you deserve?”

[madamechrissy]

♡ Time after Time ♡

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ CEO! Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Just sexual tension in this chap hehe, more explicit as we go. Gojo is really a dick at first FYI

♡ ♡ Word Count ♡ ♡ 4.2k

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ Satoru Gojo is your boss And you've been his head assistant for over two years now. You do everything for him, including and not limited to cleaning his messes, picking out his clothes, and writing his speeches. Sixteen hour days... night calls... You are tired of being overworked and at his beck and call. You decide you are going to put in your two weeks notice. He is shocked, and wants to try to keep you, because you're the best. But you know better. Right? . You really wanna fucking quit. You also wanna fuck him. Also, fuck him.

A/N (Kinda has 'two weeks notice' vibes a bit! No use of y/n.) Fully finished. This was my first gojo fic so maybe a Lil less put together than my current ones

Masterlist-

Chapter 1

You looked up at him from your desk. You were tired, so damn tired. You needed a fucking break, a long one. Your mind wanders to that vacation away from Tokyo that will never happen, not because you don’t have vacation days or money. Nope, it was  because you work far too fucking much, twelve to sixteen hour days sometimes. For him, your damn boss, Satoru Gojo.

Always asking you to stay late, always running his errands, saving his ass, covering for him. Writing speeches, making presentations, finding him dates even. When Gojo wanted something, he got it, and it didn't matter if it ruined every plan you ever had, you had to get it done for him.

He ran casinos, owned a hotel, a nightclub, you name it, Satoru Gojo owned it. He’d inherited some from his family but mostly he was self made. Even the tower you worked in, Kamo Tower, was one of the best in the city. Everything Gojo touched seemed to turn to gold, or better yet platinum.

You had been so excited two years ago to be his intern, then ecstatic when you quickly moved up the ranks to be his head assistant. You made good money, enough to send home to your family and take care of them too. But you literally were constantly at that man's beck and call.

Your tired eyes lower as you rest your chin on your hand for a moment, for even last night at two am you'd had to run to his fucking rescue.

You were asleep, but the phone never stops fucking buzzing.

Dick boss: I need you.

You: no.

Dick boss: triple OT pay?

You: fuck. What is it?

Dick Boss: I'm in a bit of a bind…

The bind? Three passed out naked women in his bed, and a room destroyed, that he needed to get fixed so he could sleep. Yeah.

The night before? Well he had urgently needed you to pick out his outfit for his soiree, he was too coked out to pick apparently. And Gojo Satoru had so many three piece suits, ties and shoes, it was actually disgusting.

Nanami Kento walks up to you, overworked from his own boss in the building, a trait you two share as head assistants. He hands you a cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup, with your name written on it in sharpie, clearly from one of the coffee shops nearby. If you had time to have a fucking life you would have flirted with him, for sure. Maybe he would have, too?

Dirty blonde and handsome, his suit stretched across his muscles just so… and fuck if he didn’t look like he needed a damn vacation too.

“Long night?” Kento asked, grabbing you out of your thoughts, an amused and tired expression on his face. You sigh, nodding.

“Thank you for the coffee. I owe ya one.” You let the sweet liquid hit your lips, eyes peering to Gojo's office. There was some lady in there, pretty as fuck in some crazy attempt at business stripper, but he for some reason was scowling at you. What, you dared to sip coffee and not work for two minutes?

“Not at all. Happy birthday.” 

“Shit that’s today?” You teased, but you did know.

“We don’t really get birthdays.”

“Haha no we don’t. But thank you!”

“Of course. Take care of yourself okay? Gojo is… ugh.” Nanami looked disgusted as he shook his head, pushing up his fancy glasses. You couldn’t help but giggle at that as Nanami walked off.

Your phone rings, because of course Gojo can't just come to you, you must go to him. Your eyes roll.

“Yes, Sir?” You answer the phone, tapping your glittery manicured nails on your desk, the one treat you gave yourself.

“My office.” That silken command may have excited most women, shit, most human beings, but it was a source of annoyance for you.

“Coming.”

You sighed, hanging up the phone and sipping your coffee. The office coffee usually went cold daily with the amount of shit you had to do. You smooth down your dress, adjusting the buckle of your belt just a tad before walking towards the giant glass office.

Gojo’s office had floor to ceiling windows surrounding it that had a ridiculous view of the cityscape below. You all were on the top floor of Kamo Tower, after all. The air was filled with a faint scent, woodsy and fresh, a signature fragrance that lingered in the space, distinctive to Gojo.

As you enter, you see Gojo himself reclining casually in a lavish chair, his signature Gucci sunglasses on, covering those ridiculous blue eyes. Which you honestly appreciated because he made shit hard to focus, even after two years of working as his assistant.

“Sir?” You stand there cautiously, thinking of just putting in your notice then and fucking there, like that dream you had in your two hours of sleep.

“Status update on my meetings?”

“I sent you them all.” He smirked, arrogant. You grit your teeth. “You have two meetings today, Sir, one for the new hotel partnership, then you have a meeting with Mr. Suguru about your casino. And of course, you have your event tonight.”

“Speaking of that, I need you to come with me tonight for the charity ball.” You sigh, shutting the door behind you, resting your aching head against it.

“I asked for tonight off.” You murmur, and Gojo scoffs, grinning, damn fangs like some vampire glinting from the sun that beamed in. He stands, stretching his long elegant limbs, before he walks closer to you, making the scent of him waft through your senses.

“I'll pay you well. Plus you’ll be going as my date for the event, not going to make you actually work. You'll get to relax and shit. Drinks and food.”

“As your date?” You blink, pursing your lips.

“I know, it’s kinda a dream scenario.” He laughed at his own joke, a habit he certainly had.

“Since when does CEO Satoru need a date? Especially me . I can just arrange you a date like I always do.”

“It's a delicate partnership and I need someone who is smart. Not eye candy. I need you, law school girl. Plus you’re American, and a lot of the people there are too. So it’s a no brainer.” You sighed, the comment about eye candy biting.

Men hit on you pretty frequently, any time you weren’t working, which you could not say was very often. But of course Gojo banged models on the regular, and you had no time to look like a model, you barely had time to slap on some mascara and concealer every day to hide how tired you were.

“So you don't need anyone pretty… is what you're saying.”

He pauses then, frowning at you. “You're very pretty.” He'd never said that. He'd barely complimented your work. You catch your breath; looking up at him, curious how he had gotten just an inch away.

“‘Not eye candy.’”

“We'll no, you dress kinda boring… like business and shit. Not sexy at all. I mean I’ve never seen you not in a business dress unless it’s at night and I call you, then you wear pajama shorts and shit?”

You snort. “I would dress up if I had a life. All I do is work.”

“Exactly, that’s what I mean by not ‘eye candy’. How you dress, not your looks. But I'll make sure your outfit looks killer, no need to thank me.” Gojo winks at you, lowering his shades, those insane cerulean eyes making you overheat against your will. Big and glittering with silver, the irises the prettiest blue that the earth could scarcely recreate. Eyes that made anyone do anything he wanted.

You were almost immune to that by now.

“It's my fucking birthday and you want me to do overtime?” You demand, and frowns with those full lips.

“Birthday?” Gojo looks confused, as if you should not have one of them, for it’s inconvenient.

“Yeah. Twenty-sixth.”

He evaluates you. “Why did I think you were like twenty two?”

“I’m not sure. If I was I wouldn’t even have my law degree yet, baby face maybe. But it’s my third birthday here, and you never give me the day off. I will absolutely not put in OT.”

“What, you have plans, hot shot?” Gojo chuckles, his tone mocking.

No. Sure don't. “Yep.” You lie. He knows.

“Cancel em.” He shakes a hand dismissively and you scowl.

“No.” You cross your arms under your breasts, and his gaze darts down for the briefest of moments.

“No?” No one turned Gojo down. No one ever told the gorgeous CEO no. His six foot four frame hunched as he placed an arm on one side of you, peering down, frown still on his handsome features. You bravely glare back up at him.

“No. Gojo, I'm really exhausted, and I just want to have fun and actually relax for my birthday.”

“Have fun with me. And make killer money. Win win.”

“That's work. Not fun.”

“Hmm.” He tilts your chin up with his long fingers, making you peer up at him, surprised at the contact. “I'll make it fun. Promise. Then I'll give you the day off tomorrow. Deal?”

“I could find you a smart American girl? Eye candy too.”

“You're my best, though, I need you.”

Bastard.

“Ugh. Fine.”

He grins, and you catch a breath as he backs away. “Good. I'll have the outfit brought to your apartment later? I’m assuming you don’t have anything fancy enough for this one.”

“Probably not. Fine. Need my size?”

His eyes are drinking you in as he smirks. “You think I haven’t gathered your size by now?” Your cheeks overheat. Though you’re used to him, at the end of the day you still had a damn vagina, and it reacted to him. He chuckled deeply, turning away and waving a hand. “You're dismissed.”

Just like that, your birthday night was just work. Work for Gojo.

***

“Can’t wait to put in my two weeks ugh.” You grumble to yourself as you finish up your makeup, for once having fun with it. If you had to work your birthday you would absolutely look gorgeous for it. Lashes, winged liner, red lips.

The dress he had ordered laid in a satin box on your white day bed. You sigh, opening it finally, and you blink rapidly as you look at the gown encased in baby blue and white tissue paper, the colors of Gojo himself. You gently pulled out the gown and most of your irritation died off.

Black and decked with sequins, it glittered in the light, it was a velvety fabric, as soft as a caress. As you slid it on it glided over your curves, accentuating the nip at your waist, the arch of your hips. The neckline plunged ridiculously low, revealing a generous amount of cleavage that you typically kept under wraps at work. You wonder how Gojo knew you had just so much up top…

Pervert is what he was.

Pervert with killer taste.

The dress had a slit that went dangerously up one of your well toned thighs, exposing nearly all of one leg, while the rest of the dress hit the floor. It was if he truly knew every measurement you had, for the dress could not have hit any better. Those damn analyzing eyes of his…

You spun to look at the back of the dress, which dipped daringly as well, exposing an expanse of skin, from shoulder blades down to the dimples on your lower back. You rummage through your little cherry wood jewelry box, eyeing to see what would work with the dress. Luckily, everything went well with black, so you snatched up a pretty silver cross necklace and earrings.

A text pops up, and you read it.

Dick Boss: Waiting out front in the car.

You: Just a few.

You slip on your shoes and spritz some body spray on, your favorite from Victoria’s Secret you save for special things, then slide on a pair of black heeled boots, contemplating putting on underwear. Did it matter what kind? It wasn’t like you’d had any dick since like college at this point. And you definitely weren’t fucking Gojo, since neither of you were interested.

You because you saw the girls he fucked. Him because… you weren’t ‘arm candy’. Or a dumb ass bimbo. Sometimes you wished you were, since they seemed sweet and happy in life, while you drowned.

Dick Boss: I’m waiting…”

Fucking Gojo. Ugh. You decide to slide on some lacy boy shorts, just in case that slit did go too high you’d have some coverage. Peeking one last time at the mirror, you had to admit you looked beautiful. You text Gojo.

You: Coming now.

You locked up and headed down the stairs of the apartment building, and there was Kiyotaka, Gojo’s driver, opening the door of the black limo for you. Kiyotaka, who somehow was your age now. That boggled your mind more than Nanami. Gojo wore people out, very clearly, but even you had it easier than Kiyotaka.

“My lady.” He said sweetly, and you smiled at him, sliding in, and there Gojo was across from you, long arms spread across the backs of the seat, his head rested back so that his throat was exposed. His head snapped down, and he looked right at you, no sunglasses, only those eyes. His lips parted, and you tensed, prepared for some lewd comment or rude one.

He blinked those white spiky lashes, arms sliding down as Kiyotaka shut the door, gaze taking you in ever so slowly, as if he had all the time in the world. You felt yourself holding your breath as it lazily traveled down and back up your body, clutching your little black evening bag tightly.

“You look…” He trailed off, shaking his head a bit.

“Thank you for the dress.” You cut him off. He exhaled, nodding.

“Of course. Consider it my birthday gift. You look… really fucking hot.”

You giggled at that. Not beautiful or breathtaking. But you’d take it. “Thank you, the dress is so beautiful.”

“Your body is that banging and you hide it like that?” He was somehow right next to you now, and you shiver a bit at the nearness. “I should reprimand you.”

You roll your eyes. “I can’t dress like this at work.”

“You sure the fuck can. I’m the boss, I say so.” His fingertips trailed down your shoulder, and it sent tingles through your body. Why was he so close? “I’m buying you a new wardrobe.”

“The fuck you are. I like to be professional, unlike you.” You smack his hand off errantly, and your bare shoulder grew cold without the touch.

“You do really look good.” You took in his outfit, a black tux, which fit his slim muscles perfectly. It was some shit Bruce Wayne would wear. Maybe Gojo was some super hero or villain. It would fit.

“You do too. You always do.”

“I know.” He winked at you, leaning forward to snatch up champagne and pop it, pouring you both glasses. You took one, letting the bubbles tickle your nose, taking a sip of the sweet drink, moaning softly and shutting your eyes.

“Delicious.” You lick your lower lip and find him a breath away. You don’t move, but you’re frozen, confused as he looks at you like he never has. “Satoru?”

“Are you really thinking of quitting?” He asked softly. You have never seen Gojo like this.

“How did you know?”

“I know everything, baby girl.” He gently runs his long fingers through your hair, a rare frown on his lips.

“Baby girl? The fuck, Satoru. Yes I was thinking of it, an seducing me is not going to change my mind. Is that the point of this?” You demand, irritated, and against your better judgement, fucking horny. His eyes study your own seriously.

“If that was my intention, you’d damn sure know.” Each word was bit out, distinctive, and his hand tightened in your hair, far too strong, yanking your head back. You scowl up at him, your hands clenched into fists.

“Oh, would I?” You challenged him, notching your chin up a bit. He laughed but it was without humor.

“How many women have you heard me fuck in my office? How many have you had to send home? You think I don’t know how to fuck the shit out of you if I wanted to. You wouldn’t even be able to walk.”

Gojo’s whisper was against your lips, and you could taste whiskey on his breath, mixed with his mints he constantly sucked on. He wasn’t touching you, but he was so close you could feel him…

“I won’t fuck you though, so what’s the point of even joking about it. You don’t want me anyway. Not your type.” He snorted, and one of his big hands came to your waist, touching the bare skin of your back and wreaking havoc on every sense you’ve ever had.

“You know my type?” You nod. His thumb brushed under your breast, an action that made the peaks of your breasts tighten, aching against the sequined gown. Damn if his gaze didn’t drop down. You cursed yourself. “The women who entertain me aren’t necessarily my type.”

“Hmm.” It grew difficult to focus. You sip your champagne, leaning back a bit, but Gojo’s grip stays. “It doesn’t matter. You’re talking out of your ass. Too much cocaine tonight?”

His grip tightened, and it made you gasp, looking up at his darkened eyes in the dim light of the limo. “I haven’t had any. I’m just pretty fucking irritated my best assistant wants to leave. You’re ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful!” You snort at that, tossing back the champagne and grabbing at his hand, his wrist, trying to get him off of you. “How the fuck, Satoru? I literally do everything for you!”

“And I pay you damn good!”

“I know. I’d rather be broke somewhere than do sixteen hour days. It’s my damn birthday and here I am!”

“As if you really had plans. You have no friends and no life.”

“Bullshit.” You grit your teeth, shoving at his hard chest. “That’s because I have no damn time! You think I wouldn’t have a boyfriend or something by now?”

“Maybe that’s your problem, why you’re so bitchy and stuck up all the damn time. You need to get fucked good.”

You slapped him then. Slapped your Boss. Slapped Satoru Gojo.

His hand caught your wrist, brutally squeezing, pale cheek just hinted with pink from your mark.

“Ring a little true?”

“I can get fucked if I want.” You yank your hand back.

“I didn’t say that. Clearly you can get fucked. It’s just you don’t even want to and you blame it on my hours, as if you were the type.”

“I’d fuck Nanami Kento if I had any damn time.” Gojo’s eyes widened at that, and his grip on your waist became brutal. “Yep. Sure would. He’s built as fuck, oh and he remembered my birthday. If either of us had time I sure would. So does that answer it for you?”

Gojo bared his teeth at her, a little blue vein in his temple popping out. Your heart beats in your chest, brutally, the thudding loud in your ears. “You… would fuck… Nanami… Kento?”

Each of his words were forced through his teeth.

Ah, you made him mad.

Good.

“Who wouldn’t? He’s hot.” You try to shrug casually.

“Out of anyone in the office?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Including me.”

You open your mouth to say yes, but you know it’s not fucking true. Of course you’d have fucked Gojo, if he wasn’t a dick boss, if he was just a dude…

Look at him.

“Cat got your tongue?” His free hand caught your chin, forcing your gaze to his piercing one. You gulp, licking your lips.

“No.”

“No, what?” His voice was a wicked caress.

“No… not including you. Goddammit. Is that what you want to hear? That I’m not blind? Of course you’re attractive, and you know it, stupid!”

He scoffed. “You’re childish.”

“You!” You shoved at him again, and he let you go, grabbing your glass and refilling it, watching you like a hawk. “It changes nothing. I am planning to leave. I will find a replacement, someone even better than me.”

“There is no one better.” He sounded sincere, a rare thing for Gojo, emotion cracking in his voice as he downed his own glass.

“You think fucking me will keep me as your damn assistant?”

“It’s worth a shot. I’m the best fuck there is.” He shrugged, some of that casual demeanor coming back, and you wanted to yell at your body for its reaction.

“It won’t happen.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“You’re my boss!”

“But you’re leaving.”

“I…”

“Hmm? You seem at a loss for words.” You scowl, looking out the window as the lights flickered by.

“Are we there yet?”

“Childish.”

“Says you!”

“You need a good orgasm. Or ten. Get you to be less of a stuck up nag.”

“I do not! And I am not!”

“You do, and you are.”

“I orgasm plenty, thanks!” You felt your body on fire at that, and Gojo couldn’t look more satisfied, like the Cheshire fucking cat, the grin as wide as it could go, running his hand through his silken white locks.

“Oh, do tell.” He practically purred.

“Cut the shit, Satoru. You’ve never talked like this in the years I’ve worked with you, where the fuck do you get off?”

“I get off in women. Or on them.” He shrugged, enjoying your open mouth, once again lost for words.

“You know I did not mean that!”

“Where do you get off? On a dildo maybe.” You blinked, eyebrows low in a scowl, wanting to hit him again. “No, don’t look the type. Maybe a rose toy. Hmm… or just these little things.” Gojo lifted your hand, already small but ridiculously small in his own, swallowed by him. “They don’t hit deep enough, do they?” His whisper shook you to your core.

You burned, breathless, as he held out his own hand to yours, fingers so fucking long they rivaled the length of a dude’s dick. Likely larger than the couple of dude’s in college, which was about all of your experience. He grinned as you stared on, palm hot and hard against your own.

“I… you…” You wanted to cuss him out. Quit right then.

You also wanted his fingers in you.

“I could get you off, put you in a good mood. We don’t have to have sex for that.” His hand took your own, putting your hand by your heat, between your thighs.

“Why… are you…act- acting like this?” You managed to breathe out, but you had no energy to move away from him, or shove his hand off. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you’d love to ride your frustration out on him.

“Maybe I realize how much I need you to stay as my assistant.” Gojo’s supple lips kiss down your jaw, firm but delicate, as his hand brutally grabs yours and shoves it against yourself, moaning in your ear. “Is my assistant already hot for me? Are you that easy to get wet?”

“Fuck off.”

It’s a whisper. You want it. And you hate him. You hate that your pussy is pulsing against your joined fingers through the barrier of your panties, that the moan in your ear made you wonder what he sounded like when he came. Gojo slid his own finger against your panties, pausing, moaning again, pulling back to look at you.

He was gorgeous.

Your chest rose and fell with your breath.

“Fuck.” He whispered, and something was just different. You saw Gojo with women, always so self assured. But something seemed surprised, vulnerable, when his long finger pressed against the damp sticky fabric, just grazing your clit. You arched your hips up, and his fingertip ran up slightly, pressing more, and Gojo’s lips were just a breath away…

“We’re here, Sir, my Lady.”

Fuck.

You two shot apart, and you struggled to catch your breath, adjusting your dress, gulping down one more glass for good measure. Gojo adjusted his pants, not even looking at you, clearing his throat. You cursed as you saw his tie.

“You can’t tie a tie for shit, Satoru.” You leaned over to him, pulling it apart gently and re-tying it. You noticed his Adam's apple bob up and down. He was quiet. Satoru Gojo, quiet. “There.”

“Thanks.” He said gruffly, and your eyes met.

What the fuck just happened?

Kiyotaka opened the door, exposing them to some cool night air, and you got out, curious just how the fuck this birthday night was going to go.

Chapter 2

Completed fic on ao3, will post chaps on here as well

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55424137/chapters/140629990

[hcsiqs]

| begin again

• pairing: kk arnold x fem!reader

• summary: based on taylor swifts ‘begin again’

• warnings: readers height is specified, use of y/n

Took a deep breath in the mirror

He didn’t like it when I wore high heels

but I do

You stood in front of the full length mirror, turning to the side to see the back of the dress you were wearing. As you did your boyfriend walked into the room and you gave him a small smile through the mirror before his eyes dropped to the heels that you had put on.

“You can’t wear those,” he stated as he fixed his tie behind you.

It wasn’t even that you were super tall, you stood at the average height, your boyfriend on the other hand was slightly below average and hated when you made him appear shorter than he was.

“Why not? I like them,” you frowned as you turned around to face him.

“I don’t. Change,” his voice was full of annoyance as he spoke to you before he disappeared into the bathroom leaving you to yourself once again.

Your eyes dropped down to the heels you were wearing that you had bought specifically for tonight. You had been saving up your money so you would be able to wear them, but you hadn’t taken into consideration that he would be butt hurt by them.

So, you reluctantly changed your heels for a pair of flats and looked back into the mirror. It just wasn’t the same.

“Much better, baby. You ready?” your boyfriend asked as he walked out of the bathroom and wrapped his arms around your waist, his chin resting on top of your head. You just nodded your head before the two of you left to go for prom.

Turn the lock and put my headphones on

He always said he didn’t get this song

But I do, I do

As the two of you made your way through the house with both your parents snapping photos to capture your prom night, you could feel the tension of your relationship rising.

It had been like this for several weeks now, but with prom around the corner neither of you wanted to have to find a new date, especially after being together for three years now.

But once you made it out of the way of your parents you both got into his car and you immediately went to grab the aux to play your favorite song, but he took the cord back quickly.

“I don’t like that song. Listen to it in your headphones,” he grabbed the headphones out of the consul and handed them over to you. Because of how different y’all’s music taste was he always kept headphones so you both could listen to your respective songs.

“Shouldn’t we be like present in the moment? I won’t even play the song, I promise,” you had your head turned as you spoke to him, almost trying to get your relationship back to where it was two years ago.

“I don’t give a fuck about being present, Y/N. Just wanna get this shit over with.”

Walked in expecting you’d be late

But you got here early and you stand and wave

I walk to you

As you exited your car you could feel the nerves building your stomach. You and KK have never hung out alone, it was usually after a big win and the two of you both ended up at the same after party. And someone how the two of you always ended up together the entire night, flirting back and forth, so when she asked you out you weren’t completely surprised.

You had never been on a date with a girl before, which was only adding to your nerves. After your high school relationship ended you realized that maybe guys weren’t it for you, and when you met KK you felt yourself being more attracted to her day by day.

Because of your nerves you had gotten to the restaurant early, not expecting KK to already be there, but when you started walking to the front doors you saw her standing there with her phone in hand waiting for you. You felt yourself let out a breath you weren’t even aware you were holding as you looked at her, and just then she lifted her head up with the smile on her face that you had been thinking about for days and now and she waved at you.

You walked a little bit faster until you were stood in front of her, a smile on your lips. “Hi,” you looked up at her feeling your heart literally flutter.

“Holy,” she dragged her hand down the bottom of her face as tried to find a word to describe how amazing you looked, “You look so beautiful.”

“So do you,” you giggled before she pointed her hand to the door asking if you wanted to go inside.

You pull my chair out and help me in

And you don’t know how nice that is

But I do

The two of you walked behind the hostess, KK’s hand lingering on the small of your back as she guided you between all the tables. And when you arrived at your table you immediately went to pull your own chair out by KK swatted your hand away, “Nuh-uh,” she shook her head before pulling it out and motioning for you to sit down.

“Thank you,” you replied quietly, feeling your heartbeat sky rocket. No one had ever done these simple little things for you and you really didn’t know how to even react.

“I’d never let my girl pull her own chair out,” KK smiled as she sat down across from you.

“Your girl, huh?” you tried holding back your smile as you cocked your head slightly.

“When this is the best date of your life you won’t be questioning it,” she replied, as her hand found yours across the table.

But you throw your head back laughing like a little kid

I think it’s strange you think I’m funny

Cause he never did

And KK was right, it was the best date of your life. She seemed interested in even the boring parts of your life and she brought up little things you had told to her in your past conversations.

Then when you told funny stories, she actually laughed, something your ex had never done no matter how you told it to him.

“It was like I was talking to a brick wall!” you laughed, your cheeks hurting from how much you were smiling.

“I bet!” KK laughed running her hand down her face as she shook her head.

I’ve been spending the last eight months

Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe

As the date ended and she walked you to your car you couldn’t believe you had waited this long to go out with her. It was like you had found your person. The one person that understands you inside and out.

“Shut me up if I’ve read this wrong or whatever, but I would really like to go out again,” you told her a smile on your lips as you leaned against the door of your car.

“I’d like that too,” she smiled walking towards you, her hands finding a place on your hips. “Is it ok if I kiss you?” her voice lowered to more of a whisper as her finger tips moved against the back of your dress.

“Please,” you smiled and one of her hands came up to cup your cheek as she pulled you in, her lips gently placed against your own.

You could’ve sworn that you felt your heart literally explode in that very moment. You never wanted to stop kissing her and feeling her touch, it was everything you had ever dreamed of it.

And then it hit you. This is what actually liking someone is like.

I watched it begin again

[reidsdimples]

Accidental Baby Genius | Part 2

Based on the request from part 1

You tell Spencer about his child, years later.

Fluff/angst/no smut 🖤 🧸

Enjoy some AI renderings of Reid’s son 🫶🏻

3.5 Years later

“Mommy!” Your son raises his arms when you walk in the door. He hugs you tight around the neck.

“Roman,” you sigh and hold him for a minute. You push away the gnawing realization that’s been plaguing you for months.

He looks up at you with big brown eyes and sweeps his wavy brown locks from his face. You put your hand in his hair and mess it all up again and he laughs. Even his laugh- the way his face contorts- it’s so achingly familiar.

The cut of his jaw as he approaches three years old is becoming more pronounced. You can’t unsee it in him, Spencer Reid is his father. And if his looks weren’t enough of a convincer-

“Rome read me three Dr Seuss books and The Very Hungry Caterpillar today,” your sister informs you,

“Four!” He pouts.

Your two year old was reading at a fucking first grade level if not higher. You sigh, in awe of him.

A familiar heartache seizes you. Spencer has no idea that this amazing little boy is his son.

“I think it’s time,” you shake your head and inform your sister.

“I think so too,” she agrees.

Roman as back to his spot on the floor, building a Lego set of the Star Wars star destroyer which is huge and you can’t figure out how to build. But he’s over half done and you can watch him move around and articulate how to do it all day long.

You noticed about a week ago that he’s started to lick his bottom lip when he’s thinking, or bite it when he’s nervous. It’s not a trait he got from you.

In fact the only thing he seemed to get from you was his nose and ears but the jury was still out on that one. It’s like you birthed a mini Spencer Reid.

“Hey Romi,” you call him by his nickname and wave him over.

“Do you remember how you asked me about your dad?”

“Uhuhh,” he uses his palm to brush his hair back with his hands which are too big for him.

“How would you like to meet him?” He turns in your arms and lights up.

“Does he like reading?”

“He does,” you answer and fight back tears.

“What about counting, because I can count all the way to five thousand,” he starts talking faster when he’s excited.

“I think so,” you caress his small face and kiss his forehead.

—

“I didn’t know if this was still your number,” you say when Spencer answers his phone.

“I’ve had it for years, what’s up?” He seems distracted and you don’t want to do this over the phone.

“Can we talk… in person,” you ask.

“Sure?” He hasn’t spoken to you since about a month after you left the team so abruptly.

“How’s lunch tomorrow?” You ask.

“I thought you moved?” He presses.

“My sister and I moved to DC last month, I’m working at the pentagon now,” you inform him.

“Wow, okay,” you hear shuffling in the background. “Let’s do pizza, you still like Ray’s?” He asks because you two ate there all the time.

“Yeah, how about 1230?”

“Sounds good, see you then,” he hangs up.

Your sister takes your shaking hand but you calm yourself by looking at your beautiful boy.

You think Spencer will want to be a dad, you think he’s mentioned it before. Especially with how absent his father was. But you’re nervous and unsure. He would have every right to be angry with you, Roman was almost three. But it’s better late than never right?

-

“Spencer,” you beam nervously and he hugs you. He seems taller, his hair seems curlier, and he’s got some facial hair. He looks… matured. You wonder what he’s been through, what he’s seen with the BAU since you last saw him.

“Y/N, how are you?” He asks.

“Good, I’m good,” you guys sit outside and make idle chat about work.

You fall into easy conversation over pepperoni pizza and he laughs about some joke your coworker made about Aristotle.

“You said you needed to talk to me?” He crosses his legs and pushes his hair back with his palm(just like Roman does.)

“Spencer…” you shake your head and look down at your lap. Your throat tightens and it all comes down to this moment.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He leans forward and drops his pizza.

“I’m so sorry,” you don’t expect to cry but you do. He drags the metal outdoor chair closer to you and touches your shoulder:

“Sorry for what? What’s going on?” He seems worried.

“I didn’t just leave the BAU for a new position,” you sigh and wipe your eyes. You turn in your chair towards him and pull your knees to your chest.

His brows are furrowed, full and dark just like your sons.

“I got pregnant,” you huff out a shaky breath.

He slides his chair back. You can’t look at him.

“What are you saying?” His voice is low.

“This is Roman,” you slide your phone across the table towards him. Your lock screen is a picture of your son staring at the camera as though he’s far beyond his years.

Spencer inspects it, his eyes scanning the photo frantically.

“That- he…” and then a tear falls down his face. “Do you have more pictures?”

You take your phone and give him your camera roll.

He swipes for a while, he’s biting his lip, his eyes bloodshot.

“He looks just like me,” he whispers a broken whisper and sits back down.

“I know,” you can hardly speak.

“How long have you known he was mine?” He doesn’t sound angry, just… sad.

“I’ve suspected it for a while, he started talking a year ago and… he’s just so smart. Sickeningly so…”

“He could talk at 1?”

“Spencer he can read books and do math at 2 and a half. I could kid myself on his looks for the first year or so of his life but…” you grab his hand and squeeze. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why did you leave? Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” He asks and looks up at you.

“Because… you had just lost Maeve and there was a chance that the baby wouldn’t be yours and I didn’t want to make things harder on you,” you sniffle.

He rubs at his eye like he used to do when he got a headache.

“Why tell me now?” He asks.

“He asks about his daddy. And now that I know for a fact who that is… you deserve to know.”

“Daddy,” he whispers and his voice cracks as he looks at a photo of Roman as a baby baby.

“He’s even wearing…” he points at the picture.

“My sister was trying to make a point,” you smile softly.

He laughs a little at that.

“Do you want to meet him? You don’t have to. You never have to…”

“Of course I do,” he stops you.

“I don’t want anything from you. That’s not why I’m telling you this,” you assure him. “You can be as involved or not involved as you want.”

“Y/N, he’s my son. I want him to know me and I want to know him,” now he’s squeezing your hand. You nod, you’re relieved.

——

“Okay, are you ready?” You ask your son the next day.

“Yes!” He holds up his toy train that he brought his dad to the park.

You spot Spencer at a picnic table in the shade and pick up your son. The wind blows his hair around as you approach. Spencer stands, his eyes lighting up as he beholds Roman.

“Spencer Reid, this is Roman Jacob Reid,” you say proudly.

“Hi,” he smiles and waves at Roman who you stand on the table.

“I got you a train. It has my name on it, see. R-O-M-A-N,” he points at the letters. Spencer lets out an amazed huff and takes the red engine.

“It’s perfect!” He exaggerates.

“I’m changing his last name tomorrow,” you whisper to Spencer. “If that’s okay.”

“That would be amazing,” he smiles down at you.

“Okay stand back,” Roman pushes Spencer away from the table. “I’m going to show mommy that you’re strong because I’m strong and if I’m a superhero you’re a superhero!”

Spencer glances at you and has no idea what he means but then Roman jumps off of the table towards Spencer in a giant leap with a howling laugh. Spencer doesn’t miss a beat and catches him swiftly with the biggest smile of his face.

“See mommy! Strong! Now I know he’s my daddy for sure!” Roman exclaims.

“Romi be gentle with him,” you warn.

“Romi,” Spencer whispers as he tries out the nickname.

“Mommy says you’re a special agent, are you a spy? Like double oh seven?” Roman asks absentmindedly as he places the train into Spencer’s shoulder and moves it back and forth. He’s sitting on the table in front of his dad who looks like the world just fell in his lap. Your heart feels so full.

“Maybe, what do you know about 007?” He grins at his son.

“Some stuff,” he shrugs.

“I do know magic,” Spencer informs him.

“But magic isn’t real!” Roman swats his dad’s chest.

“No?” Spencer pinches Romans ear. “So you always have a quarter in there?”

“Woah!” Roman stands on the table in awe. “Do it again!”

“What about this? Is this yours?” He reaches towards his other ear and brings out a lollipop.

“It is now,” he giggles and snatches it. “Thank you,” he hugs Spencer around the neck.

Spencer looks at you and you’ve never seen him like this. He seems content, amazed, like he’s finally found a puzzle he can’t solve. You’re hugging Roman’s stuffed bear to your chest as you watch them.

“Thank you,” Spencer whispers to you and hugs Roman again. “Now let’s go get some ice cream,” Spencer says.

“Uh-oh you said the magic word,” you taunt as Roman squeals in excitement.

“I wanna be on your back,” Roman tells Spencer who obliges. He wraps his arms around Spencer’s neck, his legs around his waist while Spencer supports his legs.

He follows you to the ice cream shop across from the park. You think for the first time in a while, that everything just might be okay.

“Would it be weird for me to thank you?” You ask Spencer.

“Thank me for what?” He asks and licks his ice cream cone. Roman is in your lap, gently picking singular sprinkles off of his ice cream and eating them first. Like always.

“For him,” you hug him gently and kiss his head. Roman doesn’t react, too lost in his ice cream.

“You carried him, birth him, and raised him on your own until now. I should be thanking you. You’re incredible,” he stares into your eyes. Your heart skips a beat and you look away.

“Let’s just say we’re both grateful for him,” you smile. “I never knew, where you stood on children. If you ever wanted them.”

“Children bring such a light into our lives, especially people like us who work in the dark all of the times they remind us of wonder and innocence and show us compassion and patience. In their presence we are given the opportunity to rediscover the joy in simple moments, the thrill of exploration, and the power of unconditional love. I’ve always wanted children,” he explains.

You don’t know why you had any doubts about him.

“Well, they can be trying too,” you look down at your perfect child. “So I hear,” you shrug and both of you laugh.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

say whatever you feel,

be wherever you are

Word Count - 3k roughly

Author's Note - I felt this need to write some Jack fluff since I'm been writing a lot of Jack being a complete idiot asshole lately. Thank you always for reading

Warnings - I truly can't think any

Summary - Y/N was a very social butterfly, she was blunt and witty. Not a single person that knows her would describe her as shy. But when it came to her expressing her emotions, she was definitely more reserved. Or three times Jack shows her that it isn't scary to show how happy he is, and the one time she shows him her own happiness.

Masterlist

Growing up you were never one of those people that felt as if they could show the world their every thought on their face. Maybe it was your personality in general or how you grew up, but you never showed how you felt to the entire world around you.Some people would describe you as shy for this, but you weren’t shy you were in fact a very blunt, witty person. It’s just for whatever reason you never let anyone know how a situation unfolding in front of you made you feel. It’s almost like you were always watching everyone else somehow seeing how they were responding and then reacting. Especially when it came to showing pure happiness, this feeling of carefree happiness and being lost in the moment of it. That entire idea was foreign to you.

Jack didn’t mind that you were closed off in showing your feelings to the world. He knew that you kept that part of yourself hidden from the world. A part of him actually found it like a small victory when he was able to have you act dumb with him even if it was within the private walls of your apartment. Jack wasn’t as dumb when it came to emotions as people in the media viewed him. Everyone thought of him as someone who was just a cocky little asshole who was nothing more than a hot head on and off the ice. But that was furthest from the truth, Jack was the first boy that showed you that the little moments in life could truly be some of your happiest fondest moments. Jack learned from you that sometimes not displaying all of your cards was actually better because when you were completely emotionally raw with someone it meant so much more. Jack knew you loved him with everything you had, and he loved that he was one of the only people on Earth to truly witness you being your truly carefree self. He loved how through each time you joined him in being completely carefree and happy. He felt like he was able to learn this whole new side to you even though you’ve been dating for months at this point. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It doesn’t matter where we are I’m happy with you:

Jack loved spending time with you, he actually was obsessed with spending every available second you both had free together. But due to the roadies schedule this year being insane he was about to go away for almost two weeks exactly. Since you guys started talking three months ago you haven’t spent that much time apart. The only problem was that you had a list of probably 10 ‘absolutely can’t procaste anything or my life will actually fall apart errands’ that had to get done today before your work week started tomorrow. But Jack left tomorrow morning and wouldn’t be back for two weeks. 

Jack knew that if you weren’t able to do your errands that you would probably spiral all week due to feeling behind. He also knew even though you would never admit it out loud, that you were already having anxiety about how attached Jacks’ presence you were already and how hard this first roadie would be. Thus how he came up with what he felt was his most brilliant idea in months. Luke and Quinn didn’t agree in the groupchat and called him a simp and asked how Jack became whipped so badly and quickly. Jack decided to ignore his brother’s and facetime with you to tell you his idea. You answered immediately even though you were in the middle of making sure you didn’t forget anything before leaving your place to hop in your car.

“Hi bubs, what's up? I’m in the middle of something right now.” Jack can hear the anxiety rising in your voice and can hear you being distant on the phone due to it.

“Hi baby… I have an idea.'' It's hard for Jack to hide the excitement in his voice. His smile drops a little as he hears you sigh deeply, knowing that you're probably snatching your voice a little annoyed.

“Jack, I told you I need to get all these errands done so that I’m ready for next week. Which I would have already done if you hadn’t spent the last 3 days at my place insisting we don’t need to leave the bedroom except for snacks and gatorade.” Jack can hear you continue to shuffle around in the background, probably slipping on some shoes and throwing a jacket on. 

“Yes.. which was fun but we don’t need to talk about that. Anyway, that’s actually why I’m calling you, let's have a car date.” you can practically hear the smile you know is radiating off his face right now announcing his idea to you. 

“A car date?” you shyly ask.

“Yes, a car date. We can get fast food, blast the best music, and I can drive you around and we will complete all your errands. But we also get to spend time together.” Jak rumbles off his plan and you can tell that he isn’t as confident as he once was.

“okay.” you say shyly smiling at the idea. 

“Perfect. Pick you up in 10.” he rushes out as he hangs up. 

That Sunday you spend eating way too much snacks from gas stations, fast food and having your own little karotake sessions. As Jack drives you around town one hand on the wheel the other switching between your thigh and hand. He can’t help the warm feeling in his chest as he leans over and sees a small smile on your face. 

“It doesn’t matter what we're doing, I’m happy when I’m with you.” he breaths out, and you can’t help but turn back to him as you let his words sink in. Jack knew that you probably wouldn’t respond. But when he felt you give his hand a squeeze he brought it up to his mouth to give it a soft kiss. Neither of you say anything else about it, moving on to scream singing to the next song that belts out from the speakers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am happiest when your attention is on me:

Jack and you were on an impromptu date night in Manhattan, deciding that it would be nice to go to the city for the night. As you are leaving the restaurant knowing that the night is coming to an end but not wanting it to. Jack offers to go on a walk for a little bit and maybe find some dessert. Spending time walking hand in hand, you couldn’t help but have a small smile on your face. But then you felt the never ending buzz of your phone knowing that someone was obviously trying to get in contact with you. Reductively, you reach into your back pocket to grab your phone, finding about fifthteen texts in the last 3 minutes from your cousin. Apparently, she was freaking out about something that happened in the family groupchat. Naturally, you slowed your walking pace to try and read all the messages. At first Jack was fine with you being a little distracting but then when you completely stopped walking. But once you got distracted and stopped walking completely Jack tried his hardest to be patient. But Jack isn’t really known for being the most patient guy or being good at staying still for long. “Who’s on the phone baby?” at the sound of his voice, you glance up.

“Oh it’s my cousin they’re telling me about what happened the family groupchat.” Once you see Jack nod, you return your attention to your phone. After a few more minutes Jack’s done waiting and wants to continue their walk.Due to his quick reflexes he quickly picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder and grabbing your phone in the process. 

Immediately you start laughing, hitting his back. In the most demanding voice you can muster in the middle of your laughing fit you scream. “JACK let me down! Give me back my phone!” He knew you weren’t mad at him so he decided to push the limit with how far he could go with this as he started walking down the sidewalk.

“Nope, not till I’m done texting them telling them that you're busy with your amazing hot boyfriend. And that your boyfriend demands your attention because another minute longer he might cry.” Jack shifts your weight slightly and you can tell that he really is typing on your phone. 

“Jack stop! I’ll give you my full attention, I promise.” as you continue to laugh while you hear Jack hum in agreement. 

“Okay sent. Now I can let you down.” You can feel Jack’s arms tighten as he lightly lets you down, both of your breathing speeding up due to how close your faces are when your feet finally touch the ground. 

“You said you're always happy with me.” you mumbled.

“I am but I’m only happiest when I have your attention.” he whispers, his eyes flicking between lips and your eyes. As if he was asking if he could kiss you in the moment, you slowly snake your arms around his neck and reach up to kiss him softly. 

As you pull away you can’t help your smartass response “you're such an attention whore Jackey. But I love you for it.” As you stay in his embrace a little longer, completely forgetting about your cousin and whatever family drama it was. Simply just allowing yourself to be lost in this moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am happy with you because when I’m with I can block everything out:

Jack truly wasn’t afraid of his mind being quick witted, being loud or being too sarcastic. He wasn’t someone who was known for being shy about his personality. Especially when  he would go out with you somewhere and it would be like his body transformed into someone new. Someone who wasn’t afraid to scream at the top of their lungs just how happy they were that you were his and he was yours. Someone who truly felt happiest with you in their arms,

Tonight was no different for Jack at the lakehouse. He was so happy that you were able to get a long weekend off and come visit him in Michigan. As per usual for the summer house, there were people everywhere, From Luke’s old Michigan teammates, to some of Quinn’s teammates, to friends they grew up with on the lake, to Jack’s friends from when he played on the USA Hockey team. If Jack had to guess there were probably about thirty people right now inside his house  or outside at the bonfire. After spending the day with friends he was able to retreat to a lawn chair close enough to the fire to feel the warmth but far away enough that it's not insanely loud. Jack and you weren’t able to spend much of the party together sadly, due to the girlfriends of the boys pulling you away. It was nice to be welcomed but you were definitely missing Jack after having to meet so many people, you were feeling your social battery dying. As you exited the house, looking for Jack you were thrilled to see Jack not surrounded by people and just talking to Cole in some lawn chairs closer to the lake. 

Quickly you felt yourself heading towards your boyfriend, very much just wanting to be in his arms away from everyone else. He quickly caught your eyes as you walked up and you could feel yourself blush as his smile grew seeing you. “Hi baby!” Once you were in arms reach, making grabby hands at you pulling yourself down into his lap. Your back was leaning against one of the arm rests of the chair. One leg between Jack’s legs, the other swinging over the other arm rest. Your arms quickly circling around Jack’s neck trying to pull him closer to you. Usually you don’t show this level of PDA in front of people you don’t know and you literally met Cole four hours prior to this. Jack tightened his arms around you, nervous something was wrong. “Heyy babyy.. you okay?” he whispers as your face digs deeper into his neck. You shook your head yes and Jack took that as an answer, and continued to talk to Cole. Lightly rubbing your one his hands up and down your calf that was hanging over the chair. His other tightly holding your hip to make sure you won’t fall. His thumb under your hoodie slowly creases the top of your hip. He continued talking to Cole like nothing happened and Cole knew Jack well enough to know not to chirp either of you in the moment or he would have to look for a new place to sleep tonight. 

After a while Cole mentioned something about needing a refill and made his way back to the rest of the party. Jack knew that when you were ready to rejoin the world and be ready to talk to him you would. In the meantime he watched drunk people dancing to some soft country music softly singing along only loud enough for you to hear. You lightly smiled as you whispered “your lucky you didn’t go into the music industry because you are way off tone Jackey.” as you slowly move your head from his neck to his chest. 

“What I’m offended! I am a great singer.” you could hear the sarcasm clear as day on his voice. It still didn’t stop your small laugh as one of your hands went to play with the stings of his hoodie. He couldn’t help but ask if you were okay again though “did something happen or are you just tired pretty girl?” His hand on your calf went to your hand that wasn’t playing with his hoodie and held your hand in your lap. 

“Social battery.” you mumble sort of embarrassed that as an extraverted your social battery seemed to run out quicker than others. It didn’t slip past you that Jack’s hand gave you a squeeze as a form of comfort. “I just wanted to be held.” you let out the words before you even realize. Jack can’t help but lean down and kiss your forehead, knowing that you wanted to change the subject and he let you. After a half hour you can’t help but feel Jack’s head shake to the rhythm of the music. “You want to dance don’t you?” but Jack could tell by your voice that you weren’t feeling up to being around so many drunk people who were too drunk to know personal space boundaries. 

“We don’t have to baby, it’s okay.” He says making eye contact with you so you know how serious he’s being. 

“No it’s okay we can if you, I know how happy dancing makes you” as you start to shift to get off his lap, his hands tighten their grip on you.

“No Y/N.” As he reaches to cup your face with his hand, “I don’t want to dance. I like how happy I am right here with you, cause you block out all the noise. I am being here with you in my arms” As he leans in to kiss you deeply. “Okay?” he asks in a questioning tone making sure you understand what he’s saying. 

“Okay Rowdy.” as you lean further into his embrace. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can be the real you with me:

Suddenly you were back in your apartment, the season was in full swing. It was hard at times but you were slowly getting used to your apartment door becoming a revolving door due to Jack’s schedule. Jack started spending more nights at your place then his only because he said he missed being with you as much due to all the back to back roadies the Devils’ have had this month. At some point tonight Jack was supposed to come home and you physically felt your body shaking of energy at the thought. Craving something sweet you decided to make some brownies and figured that you could have them with dinner. Since you knew Jack was coming over you decided to make them gluten free so he didn’t feel terrible about eating them and breaking his diet a little. 

Your text to Jack has still been left unanswered about what time he’s coming home today but you knew he was busy finishing up with the media team. As you entered the kitchen you turned on spotify and connected it to your bluetooth speaker, randomly shuffling your playlist. After washing your hands you got everything out and started making the brownies. As you were standing there making brownies listening to Revival by Zach Brynn came on. Slowly you felt yourself softly singing to the song, giggling as you remembered Jack singing this song to you all those months ago at the lakehouse. Slowly you felt your voice sing louder and as the song got louder and Zach kept singing about how he feels reborn. Slowly you started jumping and twirling around to the lyrics. You're not sure if the music is too loud or just being stuck in your own world. Next thing you know you feel arms sneak around you, and slowly move against you. At first your body froze, scared, until you felt Jack’s voice. “Hi babygirl, i missed you.” Slowly you let yourself continue to get lost in the song. Both allowing yourselves to get lost in the song and kitchen dancing. After the song slowly came to an end, you felt yourself slowly stop dancing but neither of you pulled away yet.

“Hi Jackey, welcome home” you whisper looking up at him, as the next song slowly starts playing in the background. 

“Hey” he softly mumbles as he leans down and softly kisses your lips, no rush at all for anything more just pure love in the moment. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t stop dancing when I came up behind you.” he admits softly.

You shrug your shoulders “I don’t know, I guess I can be my real self around you, I’m not scared of showing you my emotions.” As you hear yourself admit this out loud you realize just how big of a deal this really is not only for yourself ,but  for Jack and your relationship.

“God I love you, but I really love when you let yourself be happy baby.” he admits, dipping his head down to steal another kiss. 

[chaoticharrington]

Chapter One: Professor Harrington and Mr. Munson

***THERE WILL BE LOTS SMUT 18+ CONTENT EVENTUALLY SO MINORS THIS IS NOT A SPACE FOR YOU, MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED,IF YOU DONT HAVE AN AGE IN YOUR BIO I WILL LIKELY ASSUME YOU'RE A MINOR AND BLOCK. DM FOR ANY QUESTIONS THANKS!<3***

Pairing: Professor! Steve Harrington x Best Friends Dad! Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Not much...YET.. lots of smutty smutt smutt to come. Vague mention of depression/ bad childhood/anxiety , mention of drug use/ cigarette smoking, Eddie and Steve being hot, Reader is in their mid 20s and Eddie and Steve are early to mid 40s

Summary: Reader moves to the one and only Hawkins, Indiana and meets her sexy new sociology professor and realizes she might have a crush on her best friends dad..oops

Authors Note: Hi folks!!! this is so nerve wracking i've never really properly written for either of these characters before except in my head and reading lots and lots of smut! I really hope you guys like it, i'm really excited for what's to come for this series, I haven't thought of a name for it yet so i'm just going to go chapter by chapter but its gonna be a fucking wild ride so buckle your seat belts :) 4k words (Also older Eddie pic by the lovely @eddiemunsons-missingnipple )

**Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five**

(banners and headers by @cafekitsune)

Were you doing the right thing? Could you do this on your own? What if you failed?

Your head filled with doubt now that your dreams you’ve had since you graduated high school were now coming to fruition. You saved up all the money you could, working odd jobs for a few years after high school to have enough money to get out of your hometown and into a good college states away.

You shake away all the negative thoughts, no. This had to work you were going to make sure it worked. This is your new start, to create your own life. It had to be better than back home, where no one gave a shit about you and your own parents didn’t care enough to stick around after you graduated high school, not that they were the most involved parents to begin with anyways. Even the friends you had back home were just party related or friends of friends, you were always on the outside looking in, never properly fitting anywhere. The only reason you decided to move specifically to Hawkins was because your only real friend, Violet, that you’ve had since you were 12 had moved here 10 years ago and you’d made a pact long ago that if you ever got out of that town, you’d follow her here.

You pinch your fingers to the bridge of your nose, willing the thought of your parents and back home to go back into the little dark corner of your brain. You can’t breakdown now, not right before your first class, how pathetic would that be?

“Focus focus focus, come on you got this.” you muttered quietly to yourself over and over until the anxiety subsided. You take a deep breath, willing your lungs to fill with air to cool down your buzzing insides. You look in your car mirror to make sure your makeup still looked good and fidgeted with your clothes.

You were never one to obsess over your appearance by any means, but you really wanted to make a good first impression. You had your hair pulled up into a butterfly clip and had on your favorite dress a pair of black tights and your trusty Dr. Martens. With one final look in the mirror, you sigh and grab your bookbag and get out of your car. You look on your phone to triple check that you were in the right place, the last thing you needed was to be lost or even worse late to your first class.

You’d only moved into your apartment off campus the day before so you haven’t had time to look around the town or get used to your surroundings yet. You noted that your car didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Your car was a few years old and was always something of an insecurity for you. But most of the cars that filled the almost completely full parking lot were older or used cars, which put you at ease. You head into the Humanities and Social Sciences building and check for a fourth time, Sociology 101 room E142 Professor Harrington.

The room is much bigger than you thought, chairs and desks circling the podium at the front of the room. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the room was only half full of other stressed out looking students preparing for their day ahead. You decide to pick a seat towards the middle of the room to not look too eager.

As you’re getting your laptop and books out of your bookbag you hear footsteps walking into the room and the girls behind you immediately start giggling and whispering to each other. You look to see where they’re looking hoping they aren’t making fun of you, you see them biting their lips and looking at the front of the class. You follow their eyeline and your breath hitches.

Where your sociology professor should be standing is an Adonis, he has thick honey brown hair, peppered with grey, that frame his handsome face. His skin impossibly sun kissed like he’d just come back from a tropical island and not living in Hawkins, Indiana. He smiles nervously at the class; his smile is warmer than the sun despite his nervousness, warming you from the inside out. He’s wearing a white button down covered by a navy blue sweater, a pair of grey slacks and black high top converse.

“Ahoy folks! Are you guys ready to set sail on this vast ocean called Sociology with me? I’ll be your Captain Professor Harrington!” he claps his hands, his eyes waiting and hoping for a response.

The girls behind you giggle and a few other students around the room follow suit, he sighs contently. He goes onto explaining the syllabus and assignments for this semester. The class flies by, he’s easy to listen and pay attention to, sure his looks help but he seems genuinely interested in what he’s teaching. Which is a breath of fresh air, you diligently take notes, making sure not to miss anything. Before you know it, class is over and people start packing up their things.

“Oh class before I forget, if any of you are commuters, come get a parking pass from me unless you want a ticket.” he announces to the class, most of the class you assume living in the dorms hurry out of the room.

“Because not only are we charging students tuition we are also charging students just to park on campus, capitalism at its finest folks,” he snorts, shakes his head, and walks to his desk leaning against it.

After finally putting all your things away and checking where your next class is you head up to him. Just being near him makes your heart beat a million miles a minute, like your unworthy of being in his presence let alone so close to him.

He smiles warmer and wider as you stand in front of him, “Hey what can I do ya for?” he asks brightly.

“Oh, uh, I just need a parking pass if that’s okay,” you say quietly.

“More than okay my dear!” he declared. You blush at his words while he picks around in his desk drawer for a parking pass. His nose scrunches up in frustration as the digging becomes hastier and more urgent.

“I coulda swore I put em in here… or did I leave them in my office?... shit,” he breathes.

You giggle at his disorganization, and he looks up at you embarrassed, you wondered how a man who looks like how he does could ever be embarrassed about anything. The girls who sit behind you would agree.

“I promise I’m not usually this discombobulated.. just uh first days always come sooner than I think.” he chuckles

You nod knowingly at him “No worries I can always get it tomorrow or something.” you say waving his worries off.

He looks up at you through his glasses relieved “Really? That- that would be amazing. I would go grab them from my office, but I don’t think I have enough time to before my next class.” He studies you for a second like he’s actually looking at you for the first time.

“What’s your name again hun?” he says casually, as he opens his computer and types on his keyboard.

Your heart flutters at the continued use of nicknames, you take a second to study him again before you respond. He’s hunched over his desk, typing and clicking away on his computer like he’s searching for something. His eyes crinkled at the edges with age, memories of many days smiling and being in the sun. You notice his freckles that adorn his face and neck that you couldn’t see during class. If you had it your way, you’d take your time to count them all to try and make sense of his godly beauty. And his hands.. his hands look so strong effortlessly gliding across his keyboard.

You must have taken too long to answer because he looks up at you expectantly and raises his eyebrow and smirks. You shake your head slightly trying to regain your composure.

“S-sorry first day jitters, my heads a bit scrambled,” you confess to him. You tell him your name quickly, you hoped that your cheeks didn’t look as red as they felt.

His eyes softened a bit and nodded and continued to type on his computer for a couple more seconds before turning to you again.

“I emailed campus security to let them know that it’s my fault you don’t have a pass and if they do give you a ticket just bring it to me and I’ll sort it out for you, okay?” he states and steps away from his computer to face you again.

“Oh wow thank you so much Mr. Harrington, I really appreciate it!” you chirp

His face scrunches up at the name, and chuckles, some of his honey brown hair falling in front of his face, his hand ready to catch them and put the strands back in place. You were mesmerized.

“Uh Mr. Harrington is my father, call me Steve er Professor Harrington works to if you don’t want to be on a first name basis.” He says kindly

“Oh well thank you regardless…Steve.” his name sounds foreign but good on your tongue. You stare at your shoes and then realize that you’ve been in here looking at your professor for far too long.

What the fuck were you thinking? He probably thinks you’re insane but is too nice to say so.

“Ya of course,” he dismisses you easily.

“Anyways I don’t wanna keep you, have a good day,” you apologize.

"You too Y/N,” he calls, as you head out the door, glad that your back is to him so he can’t see you blush again just because he said your first name.

“Get it the fuck together.” you mutter to yourself as you walk aimlessly out of his classroom.

The rest of the day goes without a hitch, you find yourself actually excited for the upcoming topics in your classes. You’ve never given yourself the opportunity to properly nerd out about the things you’re interested in.

You finally get back to your car after all your classes and groan at the sight of a ticket stuck onto your windshield.

“Fuck…” you whine

Too tired to get it taken care of today you drive home and plop on your bed. Even though your classes were super interesting, it was very mentally draining. Extra draining because you’ve tried to force your brain to focus on classes and not think about your sexy sociology professor.

Was he this nice to all his students? Did you catch him eyeing you up while you were talking or were your eyes playing tricks on you? You keep trying to reassure yourself he is just really nice. But his hands… his smile…

You groan and rub your hands against your face trying to shake all the whirling thoughts out of your head. You force yourself to think about literally anything else, then your tummy rumbles. You haven’t had time to grocery shop considering you had just moved in yesterday and your fridge was completely empty except for some bottles of water and condiments.

Your phone buzzes next to you on your bed, you open it and smile.

“BITCHHHH I MISS U COME OVER! You’ve been in Hawkins over 24 hours & ive gotten radio silence from u! ur presence is being requested in the munson household immediately!

P.S Bring food my dad is starving me over here”

“At your service m’lady, cheeseburgers good?” you respond quickly

“ur a life saver babe<3”

Your mind drifts away from your professor and the ticket that is burning a hole in your bookbag. This place already feels more like home than any time you’ve ever spent where you were born. You missed your best friend so much. Violet Munson has been your ride or die best friend for as long as you can remember. You two became friends when you were sitting alone in the lunch room one day and she came and sat right down next to you and you two have been inseparable ever since… that is until her dad decided to move her back to Hawkins to be closer to family after the divorce right before freshman year. You had been crushed getting your best friend ripped away from you like that, but then you guys made the pack to get out of dodge when you could, and now you’re here… in Hawkins,Indiana.

You change into comfy clothes and grab some cheeseburgers, fries, and onion rings from the only burger joint in town and headed over to the Munson residence. You’ve never actually been to her house before because your parents never allowed you to visit after she moved away, so you two mostly kept in contact over constant texts and lots of facetiming.

Pulling up to her house you were more nervous than you thought, you hadn’t seen her in so long and hoped things wouldn’t be awkward. You turned off the ignition, grabbed the food, and went to open your door when you heard a scream come from the front of the house. You lift your eyes to see your best friend jumping up and down on the front porch in her pajamas. Violet had long bright purple hair and thick black eyeliner, kind eyes, a wide smile, and an infectious laugh.

“YOU’RE HERE YOU’RE REALLY FUCKING HERE HOLY SHIT!”

You laughed and dropped all the food in the front seat of your car and ran to meet her in the middle of her lawn and tackled her to the ground. You hugged her tight, squeezing your eyes together wishing the tears at the corner of your eyes to go away.

“Vi I missed you so fucking much.” you whisper

“Awe babe I missed you too.” she shares

You both get up off the grass and you grab the food and head inside. You set the food down in front of the tv like you used to do when she lived closer to you. You sit down on the couch and while she grabs plates. You sigh deeper into the couch, everything was just picking up exactly where you two had left off, you were gonna be okay. You smile quietly to yourself and then head to the kitchen to help her bring everything into the living room. You decide to watch a new horror movie that just came out, the two of you always bonding over everything creepy and spooky. You let Violet tell you about her partner Quinn, who she met a few years ago and was head over heels in love with.

Then the front doorknob jingled, and you heard the familiar thud of heavy boots.

“Ho- holy shit is that Y/N?!”

You turn to face the familiar voice at the door. “Hey Mr. Munson, long time no see!” you breathe.

Fuckk… when did Vi’s dad get so... hot?... what the hell is wrong with you today? First your sociology professor and now your best friends DAD?!

He grins widely at you just like his daughter, he shrugs out of his boots and walks into the living room.

“I got you a cheeseburger on my way over, still like double meat and cheese on your burger?” you question.

Mr. Munson puts a hand over his heart and falls into the love seat next to the tv.

“You remembered, I’m touched sweetheart.” he beamed.

“oh yeah no problem at all!” you blush.

“Well I’ll let you guys catchup, don’t need me harshing the vibes, Vi’s been nonstop talking about you coming to Hawkins  a month!” he chattered

Out of the corner of your eye you see Violet roll her eyes at her father.

“Dad no one fucking says “harshing the vibes” anymore or at all, you’re aging yourself old man,” she chortles

Mr. Munson chuckles and puts his hands up in the air in surrender “Alright alright I’m leaving, if you guys need anything I’ll be in the garage. Thanks again for the burger Y/N!” he says kindly holding up the burger in one of his large tattooed hands.

You beam up at him happy to help, and this time you get a good look at your best friends dad. He’s aged so much better than you could ever imagine a man with Mr. Munsons lifestyle to ever age, the expression aged like fine wine captures it perfectly.

His brown hair still wild and curly as its always been but tied up into a low bun at the base of his neck. Only difference is the now visible little grey streaks that run through random curls. He has more laugh lines at the side of his mouth and the corners of his eyes. Still wearing his normal garb, black jeans with loads of rips, a band tee with a leather jacket. His chocolate brown eyes still full of mischief and debauchery. His nose ring ever present but you spy a few more additions to his tattoo collection, specifically a new neck tattoo and a few more on his hands.

Fuck his hands… wait you have to answer him. Answer him before it’s weird that you’ve been staring at him so long.. you’re really on a fucking roll today.

“It was my pleasure Mr. Munson really,” you gush.

He gives you a wink that goes straight to your core and vibrates in your bones and heads to the garage.

Violet didn’t seem to notice how flushed you were, eyes still on the screen, interjecting at random times when a scene looks to fake or when the blood splattering doesn’t look real enough.

After the movie the two of you head upstairs to Vi’s room, she wanted to show you her new additions to her every growing crystal collection and a few polaroid pictures of her and her partner.

“They literally make me feel like a princess I feel so lucky, for our 3 year anniversary they gave me these black tourmaline pentagram earrings, aren’t they so cute?!”

Your heart fills with warmth, Violet has always been loud and unique, you are so happy for her that she found someone who accepts her for who she is and loves her for it.

“That’s really sweet Vi, i'm so happy you have them, and that they treat you so well,” you grin.

“Thanks… what about you though? You’ve always been very singular… looking to change that any time soon? You deserve to be happy babe, even if it just means getting laid you deserve to get some. You’re a fucking catch dude” ,she compliments

“I mean you know I had a thing with Dylan for awhile before he got back with his girlfriend...” you murmur

“Oh COME ON, you know that’s not what I mean, not some assholes rebound!” she insists

“Vi I don’t have a line down the block like you used to have, you’ve got that whole hot sexy goth girl shit going on, I’m just me.” you babble and point to your gorgeous best friend

“What about Tom? You were with Tom for a long time what happened with him?” she asks obliviously.

“Fuckin cheated on me,” you sigh. Re-living your lack of romantic endeavors to your very not single best friend being up there in the top 10 most pathetic things to date.

“Oh fuck that guy, how fucking dare he!” she sneers while she tries to light the perfectly wrapped blunt in her hand.

“Shit I think my lighters dead, can you go ask my dad if he has an extra?”

You nod and head downstairs and search for the door that leads to the garage, finally you find the door you’re looking for and the image in front of you almost makes you audibly gasp.

Mr. Munson has a cigarette between his lips hes strumming along to some metal song that he’s humming the tune to, occasionally sucking in smoke and blowing out the side of his mouth. His head bobbing to the tune of the song completely in his own world. He’s beautiful.

You look at the way his fingers move to the beat and strum the strings on his guitar, mesmerized by how pretty they are. You can see all the calloses on his hands from all of the years of playing.

Your hand moves without thinking and knocks on the side of the garage door, getting Mr. Munsons attention.

“Oh shit, hey honey, ya need something?" He questions

“oh yeah sorry, Vi’s lighter ran out, and we were trying to light a blunt, you got an extra?” You ask.

Growing up, Mr. Munson had always been the more laid back between Violets two parents, letting her test the waters herself allowing more than the normal parent would. But as long as she was being safe and not doing any hard drugs he was mostly lenient with her. Not that it mattered much now that she’s grown.

“Uh yeah I probably got one around here somewhere, come pop a squat while I look.” he gestures to the chair beside him.

Your legs wobble while you move into the garage, it smelled so uniquely of him. His leather jacket draped over the back of his chair, smoke in the air, and metal music playing lowly in the background.

His space made you feel at home, the garage door was open so you could see the sun setting in the sky, and the metal music is weirdly comforting. You find yourself tapping your feet to the beat.

Eddie went to his truck looking for an extra lighter and your eyes wander to his guitar. You can tell he really cares about it, its clean, the strings look freshly changed, and recently polished.

“Oh yeah she’s a beaut isn’t she?" He observes proudly, leaning against his car with a new found lighter in hand.

“Yeah really pretty Mr. Munson,” you remark.

He smiles at you, “Here ya go, I don’t know how much juice is left in it.” He hands you the lighter, for the few seconds your hands connect you see how much bigger his hands are than yours, it almost makes you topple over in your chair.

“Thanks,” you reply. You grab the lighter with your hand and put it in your pocket and push out of the chair headed back into the house.

“Were you always this shy?” he asks inquisitively.

You turn around to face him confused by his question, you never really considered yourself shy, it just takes some time for you to come out of your shell.

“Shy?” you reply. fidgeting with a loose string on your sweatpants, your lips in a fine line.

“Yeah..you just seem.. shy or sad maybe, you doin okay?” he presses

You sigh hard trying to find the right words to explain the last few years and what would be appropriate to share with your best friends dad. “I’m fine really, just a long few days.” you share and smile to try and make it convincing.

He clicks his tongue and you know that he doesn’t believe you, your heart sinks. You never want to put your sadness or hurt onto anyone else, you’re a big girl and you can handle it on your own. You change the subject to the empty beer glass on the table in front of him, “Need another beer?” you ask

“Read my mind darlin, thanks,” he replies.

You head to the kitchen to grab him his beer and head back to the garage to bring it to him. When you get back he’s back at it strumming on his guitar in his own world, you wish for a second maybe you could just sit in his little world with him, it’s quiet and peaceful, no thinking required. You set the beer on the table and turn to head back upstairs.

“Hey Y/N, if you need anything or even just to talk I’m around, I know I’m not Violet, but if you need another friendly face, I’m here.” he smiles warmly at you.

Your heart melts, of course he’s the sweetest man in the whole world. “Thank you Mr. Munson that really means a lot,” you blush. Thankful to have one more person in this town on your side.

You close the door behind you and rush back upstairs hoping Violet doesn’t notice how long you’ve been gone. You hear voices and giggling on the other side of the door,

She’s on the phone with Quinn.

“She’s returned! Come here I want you to meet Quinn!” she exclaims. You breathe out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, no excuse necessary. Your friendship with Violet has always easier than breathing. You spend the rest of the night smoking weed and talking on the phone with her partner, glad to have the distraction from your recent interaction with her dad.

Did he really mean what he said? Or was he also just being nice? I guess he kind of has to be nice to me, being his daughters best friend. Plus he’s so out of my league, a man like him would never go for a girl like me, right?

Only time will tell.

No Pressure Tags!: (Just tagging some mutuals I thought might enjoy!) ** If you wanna be tagged in the next fic lemme know**

@untitled74745 @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @munsonology @lesservillain @tlclick73 @dukesmebby @cozyquinn @rowanswriting @succubusmunson @teddyeyeseddie @lofaewrites @chaoticmunsons @ryan-waddell11

[bloatedandalone04]

In The Way I Need You | Part 10

Series Masterlist

➪in which you start your first shift at jess’ after leaving clay’s house in tears, and a confrontation at work leaves you feeling a lot worse than before.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.5k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Clay watched you flee his house with tears in your eyes, and he couldn’t even question you on it before you were gone, your body covered back up by your dress from last night instead of his shirt. 

He had no idea what happened in the three minutes he left you alone for, but apparently it was a lot. Only a few seconds passed by the time he made it to the front door to go after you, but when he looked outside, you were long gone. 

You said you weren’t feeling well and that you needed air, but he was still confused as to why you didn’t let him take care of you. If you weren’t feeling up for that second date, then he would’ve happily let you lay in his bed all day until you felt better, but you fled before he could even offer that to you. 

What happened? 

His brows furrowed as he closed the door loudly and made his way back up to his room, planning on calling you, or at least texting you, as soon as he located his phone. 

But as soon as he entered his room, that plan slipped his mind as his gaze narrowed onto the framed picture that was placed on his still unmade bed. Clay felt his heart drop as he neared the photo, a sick feeling creeping up his throat as he realized who it was of. 

Clay picked up the picture of him and Sam that was taken on their wedding day, and he couldn’t even recognize the version of himself in the photo. It felt like so long ago, and he knew he was a very different person now. 

The guy in the picture was a lovesick fool who missed every single warning sign and red flag Sam gave out. His twenty two year old self felt like a stranger now since he had been forced to grow up so quickly after Joey was born and Sam left him.

He wanted to laugh, because the second things had gotten good with you, Sam fucked it up for him without actually being there. 

Where did you even find this picture? He couldn’t remember where he had put it after tearing his room apart of anything that reminded him of her, so what were the odds that you had found it?

Clay looked around and noticed one of the drawers in his dresser was open a bit, and when he pulled it open and saw an unfolded blue shirt thrown in there, he knew that was where you discovered it. 

This was the drawer Clay barely went into as it was full of all his old tees he used to wear when he was in his late teens and early twenties. They were his vintage and graphic shirts, and the ones he didn’t wear often, so he truly didn’t remember putting the picture in there since he hadn’t opened the drawer in quite a while. 

“Fuck,” he muttered as he picked up the shirt and and looked down at the photo. No wonder you suddenly didn’t feel good, Clay was beginning to feel sick, too, as he stared down at the smiles on his and Sam’s faces. 

Young, dumb and naive Clay. How stupid can you be?

With a groan, he tossed the shirt onto his bed before turning the frame over and practically ripping the back of it off. He pulled the photo from the glass and tossed the frame aside, too, and without a second thought, he ripped it into countless pieces. 

He knew he wouldn’t have been able to do that before he met you, but now that he’d had a glimpse of what life looks like with you, he never wanted to go back. He hadn’t even thought about Sam at all since he left her that final voicemail, and he hated the fact that you must think that he still loves her. 

But that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

The only part of her that he loves is the one he shares with her. The one that brought you and him together. His son; someone who he doesn’t even consider hers anymore. 

Joey isn’t Sam’s. He never was. She brought him into the world, and then she abandoned him. No mother does that to their child. 

As far as Clay was concerned, Joey was all his. 

He throws the pieces of the picture into the garbage bin beside the dresser before looking around for his phone. He finds it on his nightstand next to his alarm clock with your sticky note on it, and his heart ached even more. 

Without wasting a second, he picks his phone up and calls you. He sits down on his messy bed and tugs at his equally messy hair as it rings and rings, and he knows you probably won’t answer him for at least a few hours.

You were upset, and rightfully so. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry,” he started when he was met with your voicemail, and he would’ve laughed at the fact that he is leaving someone else another pointless voicemail, but you weren’t just someone, and nothing was pointless when it came to you. “I didn’t realize I still had pictures with her around, and I hate that you found that. I swear, I would’ve never told you to grab some of my clothes if I remembered that it was in there. It wouldn’t even be in there anymore.”

He felt stupid calling you like this, but he needed you to know as soon as possible that he was over Sam and that she was no longer in the picture. 

“Sam doesn’t mean anything to me. All she is…she’s just the person who helped bring my son into the world. That’s it,” he was rambling now and felt his chest tighten. It hurt a bit, and it felt like he was straining his heart, so he knew he needed to end the call and calm himself down. “I’m sorry. Please, call me back.”

He hung up after that and tossed his phone onto the bed before sitting down and running his hands through his hair. 

How did he always manage to fuck things up? It was going great, you trusted him enough to let him pick you up after a night out, and your second date was a mere few minutes away from happening when you left in tears. Ones that he caused, more or less. 

-

You were embarrassed as you turned off your phone, declining Clay’s second call to you since you left his house crying.

Sam was stunning, and now that you knew what she looked like, you could see the similarities her and Joey share. 

You felt like an idiot and you were humiliated and feeling so insecure right now. A million doubts ran through your head and left it hurting, and your unrelenting tears definitely didn’t help. 

Once you were home, you completely shut yourself off from everything and tried to focus on preparing for your first shift at Jess’ cafe. You wanted to check your phone and even wanted to see what Clay had said in his texts, but you also needed some time away from all that.

So you didn’t turn your phone on for the rest of the night, and by the time you entered Jess’ the next day, you still hadn’t powered it on. You didn’t have much time to use your phone as Jess would be starting your training any minute now, but you still didn’t want to completely cut Clay off. You decided that much after a whole day had passed. 

You turn your phone on and click on his contact, but before you could read one of the four texts he sent you, Jess calls your name, and you have to put your phone away and begin training. 

Around an hour passes before Jess allows you to continue your shift without her hovering over your shoulder. You had just taken your first order when your new coworker moved to get started on it. “Oh, you don’t have to do it for me,” you wave him off. “How am I supposed to learn if I don’t actually make the drinks?”

He just shakes his head with a grin, “The guy you took the order from is a regular,” he says. “Trust me; it’s best if I make his drink. If you mess it up even a little bit, he’ll ruin your whole day.”

“Okay,” you laugh and decide to let him take this one as you begin to wipe away the messy counter. “Good looking out.”

He smiled over at you as he made the drink and gave it to the guy you took the order from, his glare turning into a content smile as he sipped on it. “See? Told you,” he mumbled and you just shook your head, setting the cloth aside and beginning to change the coffee filters. “I’m Miles, by the way.”

You look over and see that he held his hand out to you. “Y/n,” you say and shake his hand. “I’m new, clearly.”

“I can see that,” he nodded and braced his elbows against the counter. “You new to the city, too?”

“Um, kind of,” you answer and wipe your hands on your brown apron. “I’ve been here for about a month now. Still getting used to all of it.”

Miles nods in understanding, giving you a boyish smile afterwards. He was cute, but not nearly cute enough to get your mind off Clay. Miles looked to be around your age, or maybe a bit older, and he had dark brown hair that covered his forehead, and from what you could tell, his eyes were a deep green. “Yeah, the city isn’t for everyone,”

You furrow your brows then laugh. “Oh, no, I’m not…I love it here so far,” you further explain. “It is a lot to take in, though.”

“Ah,” he nodded again and gestured to the customer on his side of the counter, politely pausing your conversation as he began taking the girl’s order.

You smile at him and turn to your side, and your breath gets caught in your throat when you meet Clay’s pretty blue eyes as he enters the shop. He briefly smiles but it falters as he nears the counter, guilt swimming in his gaze as he places his hands against the marble. “Hi,”

“Hi,” you whisper back and try to distract yourself by cleaning a nearby mug. An awkward silence fell over the two of you, and you hated every second of it. It was never awkward with Clay, and the sudden change had your face heating up as you avoided eye contact with him. “Um, do you want a coffee? Or a pastry?”

Clay sucked in a breath and shook his head. “No, I just,” he trailed off and you hesitantly met his eyes again. “I wanted to see you. Wish you luck, you know, on your first shift.” 

He was dressed in what you think is his work attire - though it looked just as formal as his usual clothing - and your heart swelled a bit at the fact that he stopped by before work so he could talk to you, even though it was a bit out of the way from what you knew about where his job location is. 

“Oh,” you say quietly and want nothing more than to throw your arms around him and kiss him right then and there. He was so sweet, you hated how tense things were between you right now. “That’s…nice, Clay. Thank you.” 

Clay smiled at you but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. You wondered if he felt as miserable as you did, then you remembered you hadn’t actually read his texts, so you really had no idea on how he was feeling right now. “Yeah,” he murmured and his eyes held so much longing, you felt your own burn a bit. It looked like he wanted to ask you something, but he didn’t and instead said, “I don’t know if you read my messages or listened to my voicemail, but…I’m sorry about yesterday. If I had known…”

You tear your eyes away from his and bite down on your lip. “Yeah, I um…haven’t gotten around to checking my phone,” you confess and grip onto the edge of the counter as you feel your face begin to heat up. Glancing to your right, you can see Miles eyeing the two of you with a poorly hidden look of judgment on his face, and you could only hope he didn’t bring this up later.

Clay stayed silent and nodded. “Oh,” he said quietly and it somehow made you feel even worse. “That’s okay. Just, whenever you get the chance…I miss you.” 

You bite down harder until you were sure you were about to make your lip bleed before looking up at him. You wanted to say it back, but you were still hurt and a bit stubborn and your emotions were a mess right now. “Do you need me to watch Joey later?” 

His face falls a bit and he steps away from the counter. “Yeah, if you’re able to. If not I can call my-”

“No, I can,” you say quickly and give him a tight smile. “I’ll see you later then.”

Clay swallows hard and nods, giving you a so clearly forced smile and making your heart ache even more. “See you later,” he rasped and turned around, leaving the shop without another glance at you.

As soon as he was gone, you blew out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and turned your back to the rest of the shop as you pulled out your phone. It was nearly dead as you didn’t bother plugging it in last night, and you were seriously regretting that now as you finally allowed yourself to read Clay’s messages. 

8:09 AM

Clay Beresford: I’m so sorry you found that, I swear I didn’t know I still had pictures of her and I around.

8:43 AM

Clay Beresford: Sam is not in our lives anymore, I promise. I care about you so much, and so does Joey. Please call me back.

1:19 PM

Clay Beresford: I understand that you need time, and I’ll give you as much as you need. Just know that she means nothing to me anymore, and she hasn’t for a long time now. 

9:21 PM

Clay Beresford: Joey missed you today, we both did. I know you have your first shift as Jess’ tomorrow, but are you still able to pick him up from school after? I’m sorry again, Y/n. I never wanted to hurt you. 

He’d been trying to apologize and explain ever since you left. 

You felt your eyes sting again, and you brought your phone up to your ear after clicking on the voicemail. “Everything okay?” Miles asks as he hands a freshly made drink to a girl. His voice sounded a bit humorous, and you furrowed your brows at it but couldn’t call him out on it before Clay’s frantic voice met your ear.

Your lip was hurting now as you had gone back to biting it while you listened to his voicemail, and by the time it was over, you were sure you could taste a hint of metal on your tongue. “Fuck,��� you whispered as you typed out a text to him with shaky fingers. 

Miles coughed loudly next to you, and you lifted your gaze and glared at him. “I take it you and that rich guy are close?” He laughed and leaned against the counter with his arms crossed. “Or maybe you were but not anymore. He looked like a kicked puppy walking out of here, poor guy. But he’s not poor, right? He looks like he probably owns his own business or something.”

“Shut up,” you say before you could think it through. Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth to quickly apologize, but Miles just scoffs. 

“Oh, come on. A guy like that has no business coming into a place like this. I bet he could buy this whole street if he wanted to, then he’d own us,” Miles continued and you forget your task of texting Clay back in order to defend him from your coworkers petty assumptions. 

“And what if he could? What if he did? What would you do about it, Miles?” You ask with annoyance lacing your tone. You weren’t sure why he felt the need to assume all this stuff about Clay when he had no idea what he was actually like. 

“I’d quit,” Miles answered with a shrug. “I don’t need some rich prick holding anything above my head.”

You drop your phone onto the counter loudly and move towards him. “Shut the hell up,” 

Miles laughs again and it only irritates you further. “Make me,” he muttered. “Christ, Y/n, you don’t believe guys like that actually care about people like us, do you?”

“People like us?” 

“Yeah,” he grunted. “Poor people. We don’t need the rich pitying us when they have it all at their-”

“Shut up,” you nearly yell and then realize you were literally in the middle of your first shift and getting into a heated argument with your new coworker you only shared one brief conversation with before this. The patrons looked over at you with wide eyes and quiet laughs, and you felt embarrassed for the second time this week. 

You couldn’t say anything else, and neither could Miles, as Jess came in from the back room and glared at the two of you. “What is going on?” 

Miles just raised his hands and turned back to another customer. “You hired a spaz, Jess,” 

You opened your mouth to give him a witty remark, but Jess reached out and grabbed your wrist. “Hey,” she said and pulled you with her into the storage room. “What’s going on? You were doing great when I left you, and now I find you yelling at my best worker?”

You let out a surprised laugh, “He’s your best?” Jess raises a brow at you and you sigh before looking down at the floor. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she said, slightly frustrated as she crossed her arms. “Just tell me what happened. Why were you and Miles arguing?” 

You huff and meet her gaze. “You know that boyfriend I told you about at that bar? Well, him and I got into a fight or…something, and he came into the shop today and apologized and I stupidly pushed him away and I guess Miles decided he should assume all these things about him and I couldn’t just stand there and take it,” you explained as plainly as you could, not wanting your boss to completely know what’s been going on in your personal life. “I know it’s a dumb reason, but I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry, Jess, I promise I’m not like that all the time. I just got mad.”

Jess pursed her lips and nodded, her hard gaze dropping a bit. “So I missed seeing just how cute your boyfriend supposedly is?” She teased, lightening the mood and making you huff out a quiet laugh. 

“He’s very cute,” you repeated your words from a couple nights ago, and you were reminded of the way Clay came out and picked you up before taking you back to his house and taking care of you. “Things are messy right now, and I’m sorry I allowed it to be brought into my work life. What happened with Miles won’t happen again.” 

You shifted the conversation back to a more serious one, and you could tell Jess appreciated it by the way she smiled and nodded at you. “You better not,” she said sternly. “Because I like you, Y/n, and I want you to have a real chance here. Okay?”

Nodding quickly, straighten yourself out. “Okay,”

“Good, now get back out there,”

A few hours later, you successfully made it through your first shift and were currently listening to Joey ramble on about what he did at school in the backseat of Rick’s car. 

You were nearly back to Clay’s place when Joey shifted and tugged at his backpack from its place on the floor. You reach over and help him, and once he grabs a piece of paper from it, you let it gently drop back down as Joey leans against the seat again. “I made this today,” he said and held the paper out to you. 

Taking it from him, you’re once again almost in tears as you look at the drawing. Joey was getting better at drawing and coloring with each passing day, and his attention to detail at his young age was extremely impressive. This drawing was of you, Clay and Joey, with you being in the middle this time and the Beresford boys on either side of you. “Wow,” you say quietly, meeting Rick’s gaze in the rear view mirror. “You’re quite the little artist, huh, babe?”

Rick gave you a knowing look as Joey said, “Daddy and I like it when you’re at our house. You make things better,”

And then you were on the verge of tears for the second time today.

-

@evilnight07 @espinathena-17

[redrose10]

I hope this is okay! This one was requested for Yoongi, Namjoon, or Hobi and I went with Yoongi.

#4 I should’ve told you a long time ago

#23 We have to be quiet

Warnings: Angst, swearing, Teen pregnancy

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You felt like you’d just seen a ghost. The man standing in front of you being the same man that broke your heart fifteen years ago when he decided his career was more important than you or your relationship.

“Hi Y/N, sorry to just show up announced. I was back in the area and thought I’d stop by.”, he smiled a familiar heart stopping smile.

Against your better judgement you invited him in. Once the coffee was finished brewing you put two cups down on the table before taking a seat across from him.

“Okay Yoongi, how did you find me and what do you want?”, you spat.

He was a little taken back by your cold attitude, “I got your address from Mia. I just wanted to see you. Make sure you’re doing okay. It’s been a while.” You made a mental note to scold your best friend the next time you saw her.

“Well you can see I’m okay so finish your coffee and go. I’m sure you’ve got a hotel room full of women and booze waiting for you.”

“Seriously Y/N? That’s how you’re going to talk to me? Even after all these years.”, he questioned.

After breaking up with you and once his career took off Yoongi became somewhat of a hard partying womanizer. Always being photographed with a different woman every night or stumbling out of random clubs if he wasn’t thrown out. He’s been married three times, but claims only one was legit and the other two were just drunken mistakes. Sometimes you were glad he let you go. Maybe he did you a favor after all.

“I’m sorry Yoongi. It’s just late and I’ve worked all day. I wasn’t expecting company, especially not you.”, you said.

“I understand. I won’t stay long. I just wanted to check on you and finally apologize for everything.”

Before you could respond you heard the front door open and shut and soon after your teenage daughter appeared in the kitchen.

“How was work baby?”, you asked trying to calm your nerves and appear normal.

“Ugh well I’m covered in grease and pizza sauce, but I’m another day closer to affording a car.”, she replied grabbing a drink out of the refrigerator.

“That’s right Anna. You know the deal, I’ll match however much you come up with so the more you save the better of a car you can get.”

“Alright well then get ready because I want to have a similar one to the Porsche that is currently parked in the drive way.”, she chuckled before looking at Yoongi with wide eyes.

“Anna this is an old friend of mine. His name is Yoongi. And Yoongi this is my daughter Anna.”

Yoongi curiously looked her over before giving her a wave. Anna politely said goodbye before mumbling something about needed to scrub the pizza grease off and running upstairs.

“How old is she?”, Yoongi immediately questioned.

“She is about 15 years old.”, you cringed because you already knew what he was thinking.

“Mmhm I see. And her father is…?”

You nodded, “Her father is sitting at this kitchen table right now.”

He jumped back until he was flush against the wall, “What the fuck Y/N? What the fuck? All these years? All these years and you never once thought to tell me you gave birth to our daughter? To my daughter?!”

Just as fast you ran to him placing your hand over his mouth, “We have to be quiet. She doesn’t know about you or us. Let’s go upstairs and talk.”

He nodded as you took his hand leading him towards your bedroom where you could make sure the door was closed and locked.

Once inside you heard Yoongi laugh. “What is so funny?”, you questioned.

“Oh I don’t know. I guess because the last time you snuck me up to your room it ended with you getting pregnant and me not finding out about for fifteen years.”, he hissed.

Your blood started boiling, “Look, I should’ve told you a long time ago. I admit that. But you’re the one that broke up with me without even asking what I wanted.“

“Because I wanted to protect you. I knew I couldn’t give you the relationship you deserved with how much time and energy I had to put in my music. We weren’t even adults yet. I was young and dumb and didn’t know how to handle all the changes.”

“Maybe I would’ve been okay with that. Maybe I would’ve been okay with what little you could give me instead of nothing at all.”, you whispered hearing your voice become unsteady.

Yoongi still knowing you well knew that was a telltale sign that you were about to cry so he sat down on the bed and pulled you down next to him while while running soothing circles on your back.

“Did you know you were pregnant the day I broke up with you?”, his voice cracking at the end.

Too scared to speak you nodded your head.

“So why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve taken care of you, both of you.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you. After you told me that you got an offer from a record label and were moving to the city to pursue your career I didn’t want to be the reason you gave that up. You were so close to achieving your dreams and a girlfriend and a baby would have only made it harder.”

He ran his hands over his face in frustration and maybe a little anger, “Fuck Y/N, I can’t believe you’ve been doing this along all these years. How could you hide this from me?”

“It wasn’t bad. My parents helped when they could. I have friends. We’ve been doing okay.”

“She’s beautiful.”, he said after a while causing you to giggle, “Of course she is. She looks like you in a wig.”

You continued, “She’s really smart and kind. She’s so thoughtful. She has a big interest in music. Just like her father. She’s a big fan too. She’s probably freaking out in her room right now. I don’t know how she kept it together downstairs. ”

He smiled at the thought.

The room fell into an awkward silence after that.

“Well I better get back to my hotel. It’s really late. Maybe I can come back and get to know her more. If that’s okay with both of you.”, he said standing up.

“Yoongi wait!”, you leaned forward to stop him, “Um what if you spent the night? You can have breakfast with us in the morning and we can talk about everything. The three of us.”

He nodded and crawled back into bed making sure to leave a comfortable space between the two of you but reaching for your hand to let you know it’ll all work out in the end.

[lamamasjamas]

Love at First Sight: A Complication (3/9)

A/n: LOL LOL LOL, continuation of the first pregnancy. Again, if you read this before uhm... no ☺. I changed some minor things. I already liked this part so it was fun to reread and revise.

Warning: Dark!Din, Dub-con smut, breeding/pregnancy kink, very heavy with the kinks in this one, Stockholm Syndrome, dark fic!!!

Love at First Sight Masterlist

You watched Din from the kitchen, washing dishes as you were softly reclined against a rocking chair. He gathered enough credits for it after a few bounties off world, he said it was to help you relax, to help you feel better.

You glare from where he stood, drying his hands on a towel at the side of the sink and turning to you slowly with a warm smile. You couldn’t help but think he looked smug.

His eyes roam over your form that you kept hidden with a blanket. His gaze stays on your belly.

You wince as you shift, trying to find a method to have the least amount of pressure on your back. The pain has been building up for months. It was hard to find relief now so late in your pregnancy.

You were slightly overdue. He wasn’t as worried as you and you were practically trying to get him to do something about it since the first few days the complication occurred.

You’ve been begging him to see a doctor for the past month before your due date, but he denied, stating that he knew a lot about pregnancy and birth and that he was practically prepared for anything. You were a bit frightened when he came to you with a vial of pills and tablets one day, claiming they were vitamins.

He said he asked a physician for them but you had a feeling the barrel of his blaster did most of the persuasion. Especially since you only went to the doctor once to confirm your pregnancy and Din refused whatever they wanted to prescribe you, even denying them the chance to talk to you in private and to schedule another appointment.

You didn’t think it was healthy being cooped up in a ship for most of your pregnancy. Ever since he took you, you’ve been idly waiting for him to return each and every day from his missions. You had nothing to do, nothing to think about except him, him, him.

And the child. But taking care of the green baby was more effort than it was before. It used to be a reprieve. A solace. But he stays the same age. He was fifty and he still toddled like a three year old.

He constantly needed attention and care. He’d wander and get himself hurt if you weren’t vigilant. You often wonder if the mandalorian knew he subjected you to constantly be a mother. If you were stuck with him for the rest of your life that is…

That may have been his plan after all.

Din stays longer because of your restrictions in mobility as the child inside of you grew. It makes you feel suffocated. Although everything does at this point.

He moves towards you and you think you would have liked it if he had his armor on. It made him seem less human. As if his depravity was justified.

Your hands shake when he pulls you up from your seat carefully. You’ve been on the verge of crying lately, one because you physically were exhausted and two because he refuses to take you to a doctor or even a midwife often causing you to shun his advances tries for conversation.

He guides you to the bedroom and you pass by the nursery, slightly peeking inside to hear the soft snores of Grogu bundled up in his blankets. Your hand goes to your stomach as you stop for a moment watching the rise and fall of his breaths.

To think soon there would be two little noises of gurgles and giggles in the house. You almost laugh at the predicament. You would have never thought you would be here months ago.

A part of you believed that you would have travelled the galaxy before settling down. You glance at the mad beside you. Maybe in another life, one where he was normal, where he was sane… you would have travelled the universe together, willingly had a family together.

Dins hand puts pressure on your back and you groan. The bedroom seemed like a good idea now, you wanted to lay down. Dins heavy steps creak against the wood as you shuffle to bed, reaching out for the blankets and attempting to crawl to your side of the bed.

He chuckles as you struggle to get comfortable, rearranging and moving things around and then sighing again when it didn’t look or work right. He stops and his face falls when he could see the tears drop against the pillows below you, making the covers darken.

His hands roam frantically over you, finding nothing physically wrong. He frowns and smooths a hand over your head and face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks panicked, his words short and quiet. You sniffle. You couldn’t help but start to ramble.

“I’m so tired and I feel heavy and I need to see someone, something might be wrong with the baby, with me, I just-“

He stops you, holding your hands gently.

“Hey, hey, we’ll go tomorrow, yeah?” His voice was shaky. He was desperate to placate you.

Your tears stop and you calm instantly. He narrows his eyes suspiciously.

“Okay,” you respond and lay on your side. You really were worried, and scared. You also wanted to go outside. It was a chance to see the world again before you inevitably had to hide in your wooden spacious cottage.

He wrapped you up tightly in winter clothes. He said it was cold when you started to complain, and he was right, but he didn’t have to know that as you stepped out into the snow your teeth clacked slightly before you willed them to stop.

The planet was covered in a soft blanket of white. The homes expelling fumes from their heaters and fire places. You’ve never experienced snow in your home world.

You stared at the open door suddenly feeling nervous to get to know this new village.

The 'trip' was going to be to Grogu's school, since you've never seen it, and straight to the local midwife's home.

Grogu was wearing his mittens and his boots, and you gushed over him when he huffed and puffed from Din putting a hood over his head, protecting his sensitive ears.

You couldn't bend down to pick him up, but Din brought him to your arms and he stopped his whines considerably. Your mobility was further restricted from the fur lined coat placed on top of your shawls.

The sheer amount of clothes you were enveloped in made you look hearty, rather than expectant.

As you shed your layers once entering Grogu's classroom, you still felt as big as before, especially as everyone started to crowd and lean over to watch as the mandalorian carried your coats for you. You sigh, watching as Grogu twaddles off to his friends, giggling and happy.

Everyone was surprised by your presence. They’ve never seen you before, except for the time you arrived a few months back, your stomach was still small, at least smaller, and only a select few were able to catch a glimpse of you if ever when you were out of the house to get some air.

Still, your cottage was located further away from the others. It was bigger as well, with plenty of land around it. Din cared for privacy and only the neighbors were able to keep up with your outdoor appearances.

Rumors spread quickly of the Mandalorian and his “wife”. They thought he was very protective of his family by the way he scoped everyone out the first few days he brought his son to school, almost cold in his demeanor when he asked about the classrooms and their policies.

Din had gone momentarily to speak to a teacher assistant. A droid. You’ve learned of his distaste for droids early on. He keeps you far from them if he can.

He leads the assistant to the side as they try to greet you. Your mouth opens in a polite greeting but Din’s sharp tone cuts the droid off midway.

For a moment you stood there, suddenly feeling your heart beat rapidly in a mix of embarrassment and anxiety.

Many of the parents approached you, asking which child was yours. You pointed towards Grogu, and they gawked, looking to the Mandalorian and wondering what he looked like under the helmet.

They initially thought you were the green one. Now they were wondering if it was him.

As many of the parents chuckled softly and began to pull you into a group of gossipers, your nerves died down.

You appreciated being talked to, maker knows how long it had been since you’ve interacted with anyone.

You gasp when they ask to touch your stomach and you’re suddenly pulled back into a cold and hard chest. Some swooned at the protectiveness and some looked at you in pity, especially when he stared down at the parents talking to you.

You rolled your eyes. They took it as you showing your annoyed fondness towards his actions.

——————————

The walk to the midwife was short, and you didn't have to wait long to be admitted into her makeshift office.

You appreciated the padded chairs and the homey feeling inside. The warm brown walls and the vibrant plants inside made you feel safe. But the midwife, not much older than you, watches in amusement.

Din complains when she orders you to undress quickly after shaking your hand, not yet being told the problem but looking smug as she puts on her gloves.

Your eyes blink up at him pleadingly as you start to shrug your many layers off and she pats on a medical table located further into her cottage. Her warm smile invites you onto the table easily. He sighs loudly, passing over his blaster at his waist pointedly before leaning against the wall next to the doorframe outside.

She rolls her eyes before closing the door softly.

"Very protective, hm?" she mutters cheekily. You nod, your cheeks burning in embarrassment.

"When was your last check up?"

She sits in front of you, a rolling chair whose creaking wheels make your eyes shift.

"Eight months ago."

Her brows furrow slightly before relaxing again.

"You're really far along, sweetheart," she scolds softly.

You wanted to cry. You felt guilt build up in your stomach, even if it wasn't entirely your fault. Her eyes glance from her notepad to you and she pauses at your anxious state. Your hands shake as you place them over your stomach.

"I think I'm o-overdue..." you stutter worriedly. Her brows shoot up and you start to panic, your eyes start to water, and your breathing picks up. She shushes you gently, her eyes glancing towards the door.

"I'm going to do a checkup for you, okay?"

You breathe in deeply and exhale. Nodding along to the instruction to calm.

The checkup took about an hour, Din was practically pacing outside of the door by the time you came out, smiling tightly and fully dressed again.

The midwife sat you both in her office, which seemed almost comically small for Din's bulking form.

"The baby is fine," you both sigh in relief and she smiles at you, she turns to Din, "I performed a membrane sweep on your wife-"

"I'm not his wife," you interrupt quickly, fiddling with your fingers over your bump. He turns to you in slow silence, obviously irked by your comment. She stares between you both, clearing her throat and continuing.

"Like I was saying, I performed a membrane sweep on her and-"

"What is that?" he demands.

She sighs deeply, maintaining her smile with a strain.

"It's a technique where we take the amniotic membrane off by sweeping over the cervix. Helps her body know that she’s ready."

He nods as if he understood. You sigh.

"The success of the procedure isn’t certain. I suggest other methods of inducing labor as well."

She smiles cheekily as she leans her elbows on her desk, Pressing her hands over her chin and grinning fully at your confusion.

"Of course, the most enjoyable method is to have sex, but there are other methods."

You tense, Din shifts in his seat, watching as she writes down on her notepad and rips the sheet off loudly.

Before she pushed you both out of her door she winked.

He was relatively silent on the walk home and you were buzzing, practically bouncing on your feet as he started opening the door.

He was expecting you to jump him the moment he took off his helmet and you started shedding your coats to the floor. But he was shocked at the way you practically ran, more like waddled, to the kitchen, taking out ingredients for spicy stew.

You didn't even notice him walk out the door to pick up the kid from school, too busy pacing around the house and eating fruit.

During dinner you breathed in and out your mouth wide open, pouring water down your throat from the excess amount of spice you put in your own serving. He shook his head gently at your antics, especially when you went to sleep without even looking in his direction.

——————————

It's been two days; the membrane sweep did not work, and you were getting antsy. You've checked off every single thing off the list, except for the ones that needed a certain partner.

You were getting antsy, your hands were constantly on your belly, almost pushing down as if that would make the baby come out.

The house was warm, Grogu was playing in the common area, gurgling half mumbled numbers as he pushed building blocks and toy ships one by one.

For a brief moment you imagine a baby next to him, a human baby. Brown hair, brown eyes. Playing along.

You brush the window curtains open, the slight chill of the glass migrating to your cheeks. You shiver as you see the image in front of you.

You watch Din's deft fingers work over the panels of his ship, hyper focused on the way they flexed against the metal and the way they gripped tools.

Sparks flew, illuminating his armor and helmet. He grunts in irritation when a weld didn’t come out as well as he’d liked.

He turns. His hands making their way to his hips as he watches you back.

You retreat further into the house when he quirks his head in question of your stare. The moment he entered the household he was met with you waiting at the table for him, food ready at the table and steaming.

Dinner was relatively silent; you were unfocused, and you ate mechanically. You hurried to the bedroom the moment you finished and placed your plate in the sink.

You take a yawning Grogu from his seat and hurriedly strode to the nursery.

He sighs, getting up to wash.

He stood in the hallway, dishes done and left to dry in the rack, watching his son sleep peacefully. The crib next to his empty and half of the room vacant. He sighs, wishing the baby would come soon.

There were two separate bedrooms apart from the main bedroom, each big enough to accommodate two or three children. Grogu had chosen his little siblings toys. The color of the walls.

He was just as excited.

"Din, I need your help," you shout from your bedroom. He comes in immediately.

"What happened?" he shouts back, looking frantically throughout the room.

You were in the bathroom; he ran towards you only to see you in your underwear twisting and turning in front of a mirror.

"Why did you take me?" you ask, tracing over the trimming of lace lining your panties. Your ass looks incredible as you pulled up the waistband over your hips, it bounces as you poke at it, wincing when the cellulite emphasizes over the lighting.

You sigh, looking towards him in a heady stare. He walks over to you, envelopes you in his arms and sighs as you turn your face away from his chest.

"I love you."

"Do you? I don't think you can fall in love so quickly-"

"Well, I did," he says shortly.

You sigh, his hands smooth over your abdomen and you stop his hand, watching him through the mirror intently.

Something was wrong with him, he knew. You drove him to do things he wouldn't do otherwise. It was as if the moment he saw you, something was triggered in his brain. He couldn't function without you now, he would get angry, depressed, demoralized.

You were a necessity now.

"Would you fuck me, Din?" you ask innocently. He shivers at the way your eyes lift lazily up to meet his in the mirror.

You lead his hands under your underwear grinding against his palm as he cups your mound.

His fingers get sucked into your cunt and you sigh. You rest your head against his shoulder.

"Please..." you beg. A quiet okay was said behind your ear and your feet shuffle in anticipation.

His hand quickens and his fingers work you over slowly and firmly. It was as if you were being rocked by a wave, back and forth his palm connects with your clit, rubbing it firmly and then sliding across it, letting it go and doing it over and over again.

You gnaw on your lip, you could feel heat build within you ever so slowly, so gently that you sigh in content. The pain and throbbing of your body was soon forgotten as he led you to the bed, his fingers gliding over your folds and moving to your opening mouth languidly.

You suck his fingers as he laid on the mattress pulling you on top of him. He imagines your sucking motions to be akin to your lips around him, you look into his eyes deeply as your tongue swirls over his digits. He groans, slowly pulling away from your lips and trailing his fingers over your neck and towards your breasts, cupping underneath them and making your eyes roll up.

His chest was firm underneath your hands as you closed your eyes and moved your hips to an invisible rhythm.

The next morning, he would finally notice the red marks marring his skin, as he glances towards you, watching him as you pull the sheets up to your breasts, covering them in an innocence he knew was a farce.

His cock bumps against your cervix repeatedly, and you speed up, feeling him open you up each time your hips met.

You whine when your thighs start to cramp from your desperate movements.

"I-I can't -"

He flips you making sure you bounced and landed carefully on top of the sheets and pillows.

"You want it hard or soft."

You moan.

“Hard. Please.”

He has you with your back against his chest, your legs spread wide as he spears his cock into you quickly. You gasp with each thrust, arching your back against him as he sucks bruises against the tender skin of your neck.

His hips plop against your ass loudly, you had to cover your mouth from the feeling of your slick running down towards his thighs and making you slide easier against him.

You feel pure pleasure, almost as if your body is renewed and numbed down to a form in which pain doesn’t exist. You cum harder than you ever had before in your life and as you fall limply against the sheets, your belly atop a comfy pillow placed under you by Din, you sleep instantly.

He was convinced he made you pass out and for a second he worries, almost sliding his cock out of you before you whined, gripping his hand and pulling him so that his arm would wrap around you, effectively forcing him to stay put.

You shivered when you felt him shove himself deeper inside of you because of the proximity. Eventually when you were deep in sleep, which hasn’t happened in a long time, he pulled out, his seed and your slick rushing out of you.

You woke up that day feeling better than ever, albeit a little sore, but you don’t think you’ve felt that much relief in a while.

As you sit up you groan, the weight of your bump finally getting to you. You look to your side seeing the outline of his half erect cock through the sheets and hold your breath.

He woke up with his cock in your mouth, already hard as you climbed on top of him and started grinding.

He was elated at the fact that you were initiating this. It made him feel as if he was wanted, as if he had a purpose.

You couldn’t agree more as his thick cock stretched you that morning, making you see stars and replacing the aches in your body with pangs of intense pleasure.

——————————

It felt good to be fucked. It felt good for him to tire you out and to sleep from satisfied exhaustion. So, you did it each and every night until you would inevitably go into labor.

It had gotten to the point where you didn’t even worry about how overdue you were, you just wanted the excuse to have him inside of you all of the time.

He was feral for it. He loved your body; it was so plush and swollen and his. The fact that anyone from the outside, when you make him take you out for walks to aid in your predicament, could see that you were carrying his baby made him want to ravish you then and there.

You would often have mothers come up to you now, saying that you were going to have a big baby, and that they would probably be as strong as their father. It made him keen.

The whole village knew you belonged to him, especially as you stuck to his side and huddled for warmth from the heavy winds and the freezing air and especially as you hold his son as if your own, close against your chest as if you haven’t seen him for years even though he was just a walk down a path the whole day.

Everyone thought you were a happy family. They thought that when you wrapped your arm around his you were cherishing your time together, you were, in a way, it was just that you only wanted his cock. He usually took that as a signal to hurry up home, especially when your hands started to wander over his chest plate, supposedly wiping off dust or snow from his armor.

A big and happy family is all he wanted. He was just missing a member at the moment.

——————————

“Fuck, Din, h-harder.”

It's been three days so far. The midwife said you were dilated 1 centimeter. It only made you more desperate for his cum.

Sperm softens the cervix, and a soft cervix prompts dilation.

"I can't-" he groans, holding your hips still and leaning away.

"Please-" You press your ass against his crotch, pressing him deeper into you and making yourself gasp out against the pillows, your drool accumulates and spreads against the pillowcase, prompting you to lick your lips.

"We're so close..." you say pleadingly.

He squeezes your waist, stilling you from bouncing your hips against him.

"Close to what?"

"Our baby," you whine.

You knew him well. You knew what made him tick, and how well you could manipulate your way for something you wanted. That being, getting plowed into the mattress, with the bonus of speeding up the process of labor.

Your voice echoes in his head. Our. You usually referred to them as yours, because you're carrying them and you're going to be the one taking care of them. So you thought.

Also, because you didn't want him, at all and in any form, out of sexual pleasure.

He twitches and you swear you hear him growl. A shiver runs down your spine and you push him further.

"I want to give you a baby. Don't you want me to?" you murmur moaning and whiny, mimicking the women in holos usually seen in your same position.

Your hand moves under the swell of your belly, making you wince from the uncomfortable position and connect with your clit. You circle your hips, feeling him start to thrust lightly against you.

"You can put another in me after..."

His fingers meet yours and rub with you. You almost scoff against the pillow from his sudden eagerness, but your breath catches from a particularly hard thrust.

"I'll give you as many children as you want," you blurt out as you feel your body heat up quickly. You didn't have a filter anymore, your mind was shrouded in the feeling he was giving you, in the need to reach completion.

"Please- I want to expand- mph, our clan-"

He hushes you, thrusting into you with precision and pushing you into the sheets below careful to not put pressure on your stomach. You didn't even notice that he turned you over, your back hit the mattress, his hands pinning you beneath him. His mouth glides along the valley of your tits.

His tongue slides over to your swollen and dark nipple, helping him engulf your fatty tissue into his mouth. He sucks in pulses.

He lifts your ass in the air, pressing himself as deep as he could go before pulling out and thrusting in again. His pelvis slides against your clit each time his cock meets your cervix.

You come apart with a tremble and a high-pitched whine. He groans into your breast, sucking until your milk coats the inside of his mouth. Your back slowly lowers back into the soft blankets and he holds himself up, his head buried in your breasts.

You sigh, pressing your hands against his hair as the pressure on your chest was being relieved. His cock was pulsing in time with his suckles.

Your nails were scratching behind his head, caressing his brown locks and smoothing a thumb over his cheekbone.

He came with a long groan, still inside of you, when you tug on his locks after he bit you lightly.

He lifts his head, his eyes search your own blissed out ones, half lowered and drowsy. When he kisses you, you respond back sensually, slowly and as if you meant it.

It stung him.

The only way he could get you to show him affection was if you were in a state of euphoria and not your complete self. You grumble as his lips start to part yours.

"I'm tired," you mumble. He chuckles, nodding his head, helping you shrug some pillows under yourself and placing his body behind you. You hum as you press your head against the pillow.

His lips meet your earlobe and you smile lightly, still in a daze. You pause when he speaks, lowly.

"I will get you swollen again. I know you; you seem to forget that. I know your using me to get off, but any words said to me are a promise."

Despite yourself and despite everything else you clench around him, a quiet moan escaping you as he presses himself against your back and slid back into you slowly.

The very next day the contractions hit, he carried you to the midwife across town and you met a very beautiful, yet slimy, chubby baby.

Your eyes softened when he first handled her with gentle care, as if she were made of glass. He smiled, almost grinned, when she gurgled and moved her head from side to side, looking for you.

You forced your hands to stop shaking when you gently cradled her to your chest. Staring into her eyes as they opened slowly, you truly started to believe it wasn’t unbelievable he fell in love with you so quickly.

A/n: Reblogs and Comments much appreciated lol. 🥰❤️ mwah! 💋

[seiya234]

happy tauniversary

this post is kind of late, because i was out with my kid all day at the corn maze.

a lot has changed since we started TAU

ten years ago I had been in maryland all of two months. my then-fiancee and i had moved from texas, where we both had lived our entire lives. i was not only planning our wedding (in texas!) but i was also starting my ph.d.

to say that i had a lot going on would be a huge understatement.

i had just gotten into gravity falls via tumblr- shout out to whoever made a gif set from 'the hand that rocks the mabel'- when i ran across zoey's original two to three posts. to this day i couldn't entirely tell you why my brain seized on this au, other than it did and it immediately went into hyperfocus mode.

before TAU, i hadn't really written any fanfic except for some discworld au and some drabbles here and there. but a post about future niblings really inspired me and before i knew it i was writing.

i started messaging @zillychu a LOT and god bless their heart they humored me and answered back. after about a month of accumulated posts they created the blog and began to mod it with @homebeccer and @ghostfiish . There was a brief period where @zillychu was thinking about stepping back from the blog and because i was an extremely over eager beaver, i practically kicked down the door of their inbox and begged to be a mod.

the rest, as they say, is history.

i had absolutely zero idea that this would last ten years. when i joined, i had no idea that we'd have a skype channel and then two (two!) discords, that there would be a wiki, that there would be fanvids and tiktoks and cosplay and of course the literal terabytes of fic and art.

to this day, it still thrills me to no end that y'all make art and fic of my OCs. never in my wildest dreams as a tiny baby weeb would i have ever thought that THAT would be a possibility.

a lot has changed for me in these ten years. i got married. i recently got divorced. i had a baby, and now that baby is a big girl and in kindergarten. it took dont-ask-how-long but i finally got the ph.d and now shamelessly introduce myself as Dr. Seiya everywhere i go.

and i made friends. @haberdashing and @avafalls from our early days (hey habby and avagator!) @skia-oura sent me a beautiful baby kimono from their home in Japan and I still have the beautiful log and flower arrangement @oreramar made me one christmas. (the hot chocolate is long gone lol) i've enjoyed so very deeply getting to know @toothpastecanyon, @feferipeixes and @avespecora (sorry i missed the eclipse!) i almost got detained at the canadian border for @marypsue (spoiler alert, don't tell canadian immigration you're staying with a friend from the internet but you don't know their home address)

the blog almost got deleted. we've had mods come and go as life happens and moves on. the blog is old enough i've been able to see trends happen, and characters become popular, fade away... then coming roaring back again. i've personally told the mods two times that i was stepping back from the blog For Real For Real (for real this time) because life was catching up to me and I just wasn't as in to it as I used to be only to come slinking back like the dirty liar I am. i see in your notes all the time that you all have been reading this since you were tweenagers which ngl does make me feel the cold breath of the grave on my mid-thirties back but also warms my heart.

@transcendence-au changed my life, and for the better.

thank you @zillychu for making a random one off hc post that exploded into something i don't think you could have ever predicted.

and thank you all (yes, you. you in the back. i like your shirt.) for your support and your love.

[genshingarbage]

So, uh, this is just some mindless drabble type stuff that sprouted for my sheer love for Al-haitham lmao, not me with the C1 Al-haitham whaaaaaaat??? Lmaoooo, but yea, this is just pure smut for the sake of smut, so uuuhh? Yea, enjoy, I guess? Lol also fair warning, in my mind Al-haitham is only cold and distant at work and to those he doesn't really trust, with those he trusts he's a giant sweet goofy teddy lmaooooooooo - Mod Diluc

My Business Not Yours.

||NSFW||

Al-haitham x Reader / Smut / One-Shot

The voices inside saying to turn tail and run, not to bother the man, leave him be and that you're just going to annoy him, after all he had stopped showing up at the Akademiya for a while now, and you had already clued in as to why; it was no secret, to you anyways, of the man he shared his home with, how close they seemed to be too. Where ever Al-haitham was in that building, Kaveh was right behind him, as if joint to hip.

You swallowed down the thick lump that was in your dry throat, nervously tugging at the bottom of your shirt that hugged around your body, your skin paling as the thoughts in the back of your mind began to grow increasingly louder the closer you got toward Al-haithams home.

Of course you liked Kaveh, pray he don't misunderstand! He's never done you any ill, and not once has he been rude or dismissive of you, whenever you use to visit he was so chatty and engaging toward you, it almost could've been mistaken for him enjoying anyone's company other than his own boyfriend's. Because they were boyfriends, they had to be. It just made sense in your mind.

But it didn't stop the little pain that nestled into your heart everytime you thought on it for too long, whether you wanted to admit it or not, you had fallen for Al-haitham, pathetically hard might you add. It wasn't your intention too, of course not, The Scribe was merely tutoring you as the Akademiya were low on staff as of late. He always kept discussions, work related, and professional.

Until as of recently, that is however, roughly two months ago, if you were to try conjure an estimation exactly of when he suddenly became a little more informal toward you, making jokes, asking more personal questions, ones that were on the level of what friends would ask. And with this sudden change of behaviour spiked a change in your way of seeing him, feeling for him.

You originally thought he was single, for he'd never mentioned the existence of Kaveh before, not for the entirety of the year you've known him. But he was if anything, a private man, kept to himself on almost everything and anything, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to you when he asked you round one evening for a few drinks, and some light chatter, to suddenly be introduced to this man who unbeknownst to you, and the rest of Sumeru City it would seem, had been settled here for some time now, in Al-haithams home.

But surprise you, it did, and you'd be lying if you didn't have to choke down the raw disappointment and heartache that swelled within upon the realisation as you smiled politely and introduced yourself to Kaveh. But still, you didn't blame him, of course not. You weren't entitled to Al-haitham in any sense of the word. The man can love who he wants, and Kaveh was a charming man to boot, not to mention friendly and sweet. You just got your hopes up is all, silly of you to do so in hindsight now, but what can you do? You're only human.

Still, it had been three weeks since Al-haitham had last been seen by anyone from the Akademiya, and that was unbefitting to The Scribe, other students and colleagues began to chat and spread rumours that he'd chucked his role in, but you knew better, no way in all of Teyvat would he quit his job, one, not unless for immensely good reason, and two, not without showing face and telling you, you hoped...

That is why you now stood here, hand clenched tightly around a case of yours, and his favourite alcohol shipped all the way from Mondstadt, the type you both enjoy when chatting the night away and killing time, knuckles whitened from your tightening grip as your other hand, clenched in a fist raised up toward the expertly designed door. Nerves gnawing away at your sanity and the burning desire to give up on it all and go home, but despite all the sirens going off in your nervous brain, your hand subconsciously knocked all the same.

Knock, knock, knock.

Nothing.

...nothing.

......still nothing.

Was he not home? It would be just your luck, after all, that he be out the one day, the exact time you come by to visit.

Knock, knock-

You jumped slightly as the door suddenly clicked opened. You hadn't heard him approach from within. How silent must he have been?

"Hello Al-" your voice died down in its happy greeting instantly, at what you saw before you.

Al-haitham hung against the door, drowsy, silver hair dishevelled, eyelids half closed, clothes wrinkled and... exposing parts he probably wasn't aware of, or by the lack of enthusiasm on his face, didn't care of.

"...Haitham" your meek voice finished your greeting that had partially died on your tongue.

He sniffed casually as his eyes opened more, revealing those oddly coloured pupils you could fall for again, and again, as he clocked it was you, his demeanour relaxing instantly he lazily turned and began to walk away from the door he now left open.

"Y/N, what brings you here." He asked in a monotone voice, though it didn't sound like a question, more so a statement.

You took it upon yourself to warily step inside his darkened home, closing the door gently behind you. Glancing around, you softly sighed. You'd feared this outcome. He'd been dumped, hadn't he? It's the only reasonable excuse as to why he's been absent, and now being here, seeing him so hopeless looking. Kaveh would've greeted you by now, but as you expected, the blonde never revealed himself.

"You've uh, been absent for some time, I grew worried is all Al." You continued to glance about realising; Kaveh's paintings and various other decorations were gone. Almost all that was him had disappeared without a trace. Your heart ached, not just for Al-haitham but also yourself, for you'd began to grow a bond with him too, seeing him as a dear friend.

"How thoughtful." He merely spat out, laced with nothing but sarcasm, his mood was sour, and it filled the place with tension. He slumped down on the stool in his kitchen that faced his island in the middle, resting his chin boredly in his palm, which was propped up by his elbow on the hard surface. His eyes darting to you and then to your hand.

"For me?" He questioned properly this time, albeit in a muttered tone, making you draw your attention back to him. Seeing his eyes on the dandelion wine case in your hand, you blushed softly at your forgetfulness.

"O-oh yes! Sorry, I thought maybe we could, uhm, I don't know, chat, I guess? And catch up." You hated how timid you sounded, but it was natural for you to be so around him at this point. He was intimidating even when he was not trying to be.

"Chat?" He mused lowly before huffing aloud, "Sure, haven't seen you in weeks. It would be nice to know how you've been, at least." He finished. You blushed harder at his confession, but he paid it no mind for his eyes were already off you and glancing ahead of him, at, nothingness, blankly.

You made your way around the kitchen island and placed the case down. You were nervous around him, sure, but once in is home, you found it second nature manoeuvring around and making yourself busy. Grabbing some glasses and pulling one of the bottles out, popping the cork off and steadily pouring the glasses out with the beverages. It just felt right and easy to go around his home and have it feel like it was part of you now.

Once filled you slid the glass across the surface to his open palmed hand, he gripped it and began to sip it instantly, it concerned you how fast he was consuming the liquid, but you'd just decided to keep a silent eye on him for now. Taking a small sip yourself, you tried to seem natural with the questions you had bubbling at the surface, wanting to ask them for minutes now; "So... Kaveh?"

"Gone." Short, curt. You expected that response.

"As in?" You replied.

"As in, not coming back." He finished.

You nodded to his words, swirling the glass in your hand as the other rest against the kitchen surface, before adding; "Am I allowed to know why?"

"Disagreement." Elusive again, he clearly didn't wanna talk about it, and you weren't in any position to press further either.

"I see..." You stated flatly, "I'm sorry." You felt obligated to say it, but his solemn look as he nodded slowly in appreciation to your care made you realise why it felt like an obligation in the beginning.

He held out the now empty glass, a silent request for a refill, so you did, placing the bottle back down once finished. He bought the glass back, but this time, he took a more tame sip before placing it down.

"How's work?" He suddenly questioned.

"Boring." You scoffed softly, to which he chuckled gently in response. It felt nice to hear him make that sound, even if it was only briefly.

"You meeting the deadlines?" He continued.

"Of course, I had you as my tutor for a year, remember?" You jested.

His brow furrowed as he sat up properly now to look you in the eye, "what you mean, had?"

The question caught you off guard because, in all honesty, you hadn't realised you'd used past tense. You looked up at him now, your eyes no longer transfixed on the coloured liquid swirling in your glass, gaze locked with his expectant look.

"I- well, uh, I just, people have been talking-"

"Saying what." He demanded.

"Well, that, uh, uhmm, well... that you've chucked the position of Scribe in, that you uh... aren't coming back to The Akademiya..." You finished shakily as if a student being interrogated by her teacher.

He let a sigh draw out his mouth slowly as he shook his head, eyes scanning up to the ceiling of his house as he muttered below exhausted breath; "Archons have mercy."

You stood there unsure what to say next as he just huffed out at nothing before feeling his gaze on you again, the weight felt instantly by you, your eyes shooting back to him to focus now.

"I'm just taking a small vacation Y/N, don't listen to them idiots when it comes to anything to do with me." He stated before taking another sip of his drink.

You nodded, affirming your understanding to his words as you chuckled; "I had a feeling you wouldn't quit your job over a break up anyway." You let out a soft laugh as you took a large sip of your own drink in hand.

His eyes nearly popped from his head at your words, however, as he set his glass down and stood from his stool now; "a what? I'm sorry? Did you say breakup?" The disbelief in his tone had you taken aback again, your tongue really was running loose right now wasn't it? You had a right mind to cut it out.

"I- I," you stuttered, unsure where to take the sentence formulating in your mouth now.

"Y/N... did you think me and Kaveh were..." he looked at you, brow quirked up in utter disbelief still.

You placed your glass down and sheepishly nodded your head as you scratched the back of your neck awkwardly.

You expected him to shout, to yell, but instead, he let out a boisterous laugh, guttural too. It rose from the truthfully deepest parts of his chest. You couldn't help but chuckle slightly yourself, seeing him laugh so giddily, it was contagious.

The tears swelled in his eyes and threatened to spill as he laughed so hard from your assumption before finally wiping his eyes and sighing aloud, coming down from his high.

"Y/N!" He said loudly but not in an angry way more of 'I can't believe you' joking kinda way, "I'm not gay?! What on earth gave you that idea?" He snickered again, his lips curving up into a wide smile. You opened your mouth but quickly shut it, wanting to save grace and not make yourself more of a fool.

"I- well, I don't know! Maybe the fact you had a man living in your home in secrecy for one! Sheesh, you can't blame me for thinking you two were an item. You bickered like an old married couple every time I came around to visit archons sake!" You lifted your hands in a gesture akin to 'help me out here'.

However, his smile faded when the realisation of the fact Kaveh had come back into play hit him, and you mentally yelled at yourself again for ruining the mood.

"I'm sor-" you instinctively went to apologise as the sad face he now had hurt your heart so desperately, but he waved his hand, dismissing your words.

"No, it's alright, don't be sorry, it's funny you assumed we were together, but no, we are just g- we were just good friends." He smiled at you as if to be reassuring to him saying he's alright, but the look of brokenness didn't help him in that effort. "We hadn't seen eye to eye for a while, and it was only a matter of time before, well, this," his hand gestured to the lack of Kaveh's decorations and designs, and presence "finally happened." He sighed, reaching for his glass again and taking another large swig.

You remained silent for what could you possibly say right now that would be of any comfort? He'd lost a once dear friend, and you'd now realised you'd lost a blossoming friendship too, and it stung you bad, so you could only imagine how much it hurt for him. The way he downed his drink made you happy you'd bought it in the first place, though you wasn't one to agree with drowning sorrows with alcohol. It helped every now and then, at least.

You stretched out, allowing a loud huff to leave yourself and effectively kill the silence that had begun to drown the room in tension; "Come, no more sad talk, let's take the drinks to the sofa and have some catch up time, I've missed my drinking buddy." You smiled warmly, and he simply smiled and nodded back.

-

The night quickly went by with you both talking about work, discoveries you'd made, ideas he'd been sitting on, interests and further hobbies you'd both decided to reveal to one another, reminiscing on past funny moments when working together, joint dislike towards certain colleagues and disagreeing with many of The Akademiya's methods in pursuit of knowledge.

It was moments like this that made your heart swell harder and reminded you why you'd begun to fall for him in the first place. You both clicked together over every little detail. You either complimented each other perfectly with your agreements on matters or delicately accentuated your differences in debates on others. Either way, you were both puzzle pieces that perfectly placed together in any jigsaw.

From both yours and his humour to your hobbies and interests, it didn't matter. You just enjoyed the company of each other over everything, you were comforted in his presence, and he was comforted in yours. There was no need for further questions or desperate attempts to create conversational topics, they fell from you both so naturally, and even more so once the alcohol had finally began to take root in your mind and his.

Cut to fifty-seven minutes later, and you're both closer with one another than how you'd oringally started out tonight, figuratively and literally. The jokes becoming more daring with underlining tones you couldn't quite take as anything more than flirtatious banter right now, and your tongue becoming even more looser than before.

-

You couldn't stop laughing, not with how Al-haithams drunken impersonation of one of your more annoying work colleagues was so spot on! Right down to the way he always flicks his hair as if he's a famous scientist known world wide.

"Pffthahahaha!" Your tears fell from your eyes freely as you couldn't stop laughing. You'd broken into such a giggle fit it even caught Al-haitham in the midst of it beginning to wheeze himself, you both sat on his sofa, the light basking you in a relaxing glow as the nightsky had claimed territory above Teyvat outside now.

You tapped his knee gently pleading for a time-out to catch your breath, though he'd stopped impersonating a full minute ago now and so you both were just clutching your stomachs and wheezing like two utter mad men as the alcohol sent a pleasant buzz down your spine.

Once the laughing had finally begun to die down, you found yourself just staring at him, your head cocked to the side and resting in your palm as it pressed against the back of the sofa. He breathed in deeply to regain some slight composure before looking at you, cocking his head playfully at you now.

A small smile crept onto your lips uncontrollably, and your words fell effortlessly from you; "you're just a big goof ya know that?"

He gasped mockingly as he turned to place his glass down on the small coffee table stowed away at the side of his sofas' arm rest. Turning his attention back to you, "so rude Y/N."

You giggled, rolling your eyes, your other hand loosely holding the glass at a slight angle, the wine inside close to spilling out if you were to tip it anymore so; "No, honestly, I use to be so afraid of you, worried I'd make you unhappy with my work, or you'd not even bother to grace me with your attention ever. You came off so cold and distant..."

He began to nudge himself closer to you, subconsciously maybe, but you weren't finding it anywhere in yourself to complain right now.

"That so?" He drawled out in a smile, "makes sense, I suppose, I do tend to keep everyone at arms length. Can't trust people that well from The Akademiya, even so-called colleagues." He finished slowly. His eyes locked with yours, "Why'd you stick around if I was so unwelcoming?" He questioned.

You shrugged as you broke the joint gaze to bend round and place your own glass down now, feeling your mind become ever so slightly dizzy you had little foresight left, which gave you the reasonable reaction of putting the glass out of harms way, turning back round you noticed Al-haitham had moved even closer now, and the proximity had began to make butterflies flutter in your stomach ever so slightly, but the alcohol made good distraction of said feelings.

His eyes searched yours for something. You were unsure of what, but they were definitely searching and searching deeply, too. Neither of you spoke now as your eyes were lost in one another, till he finally broke the silence; "I wanna kiss you." It was sudden, and so crystal clear you couldn't even pretend to have not heard it. Your cheeks burned as you suddenly felt hot and entirely trapped by him. Your throat ran dry all too quickly, and you swallowed down a lump that had begun to form; "i-... okay..." is all your drunken mind could respond with, for it seemed much easier to follow your hearts wants and desires now that you'd drowned yourself into intoxication.

He shuffled closer slowly, his eyes burning into yours before dropping to your lips, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip subconsciously, your mind was moving at a thousand miles a second right now, but the only thought that stuck out from all the rest was how unbelievably sexy he looked right now, as the redness dusted over his cheeks became more visible, and the slight huffs of his breath became more audible, as the air grew hotter and more tense as he drew in closer, his arm spreading over you to lock his fingers into the armrest beside you, effectively caging you in, his other hand cupping your cheek softly but firmly, angling your chin just right and then-

A relaxed sigh escaped your mouth only to be swallowed by his own as his lips pressed gently into yours, his tongue seeking permission to enter inside your mouth, to which you eagerly granted him, your eyes had closed instantly upon the feel of his lips meeting yours, and he slowly closed his eyes a few seconds after, the kiss now deepening as his tongue danced around yours and laid claim to your mouth with his dominance.

You felt your mind going light and fuzzy now, the kiss drifting you further into a dreamlike buzz. You so hopefully wished to never wake if it were just a dream all along. The breathing that exited both your noses were louder than usual as the intensity of the kiss grew more feverish, the wheeze of your lungs be pushed to their limit began to sting, and it must've been doing the same to the scholar above you as he then slowly, albeit it reluctantly, removed his lips from yours.

The string of saliva that connected both your lips snapped once he took a somewhat bated shaky inhale, his eyes never leaving yours once you'd finally reopened your eyes to catch your own breath. His thumb absentmindedly began to stroke sweet circles against your jawline and cheek, and you found yourself happily pressing further into his touches.

"How long?" He questioned, though his voice was more hoarse and rough now.

You looked into his eyes, knowing what he meant instantly, for you could see the same want spread across his face that you were also clearly painted with too.

"Several months now." You replied, honestly.

Still looking at you he began to manoeuvre you both softly, guiding you down, back pressed against the sofa chair, him now looming above you, the light that lay suspended in the air from his living room ceiling being blocked from directly shining in your eyes by Al-haithams towering figure above you now.

"Is your assumption of my relationship with Kaveh the reason I've been getting zero response from you with my advances?" He asked earnestly. His eyes make you feel naked with how intensely they stare at your every detail.

"I... I suppose so, yes." Your mind couldn't think straight anymore. You were in such a proactive position with the man you'd had a burning desire for months for now caging above you, alcohol having now also dammed your senses and sunken your defence, and he was interrogating you? When your mind clearly hungered for something else right now.

He chuckled softly as if it was all a big joke the world had been playing on him from the start. He lowered his face abruptly and placed warm, open-mouthed kissed against your neck and the juncture between where your neck and shoulder connect, eliciting a breathy moan from your numbing body.

"You nosy little minx," he began to gruff the words out through intakes of air between his onslaught of sensational wet kisses that marked all over your neck and shoulders, his hand gripping the top of your shirt to lazily pull it further down to reveal more skin for him to revel in. "That was my business, not yours," he nipped at a specific soft spot on your neck that made you hitch your breath under his magnifying pleasure. "Because of your sniffing around, you conjured up false accusations, and it cost me," you began to pant harder as his kisses grew more heated and possessive in their nature to mark up your skin and lay claim to you.

"Al-...mmhaahh- Al-haitham," your voice was soft, barely above a whisper as you shakily moaned his name out, a plea, a beg, you wasn't sure what, but your instincts could only give you strength to say that one word, however as he hungrily bit down on your neck you couldn't stifle the proper moan that slipped from your lips this time.

"Make more of those noises for me," he sounded drunk on his lust, and you were in the same ship as him, his lips and tongue were made by the devil, they had to of been, to elicit such sinful sounds from your very own mouth. His fingers clutched tightly on your shirts fabric. It was only a cheap, flimsy thing you'd thrown on in your haste to come see him today, "this, is in the way," he practically snarled the words out as a loud tearing sound echoed throughout the spacious living room, a blush burning at your cheeks now as you felt the temperature change, you hadn't worn a bra either-

"Temptress." He stated in a frenzied manner as he dipped his head down past your neck now, you cried out in sheer overwhelming pleasure as his hot mouth encased round your nipple, sucking on it fervently, his tongue flicking it around between the clasp of his teeth inside. Your hands slipped through silver locks, so silky to the touch, you giggled to yourself inside, as depressed as he was, he always made sure he was well pampered, such a pretty boy.

Your eyes closed as you got swallowed up to all the burning sensations that engulfed your body right now, his tongue, lips, teeth made sure to bite, kiss and suck any and all flesh that held his attention, while his hands left delicious squeezes and gropes all over your thighs, slipping underneath your arching behind to properly feel your rear too, he made sure to leave no part of you undiscovered by him.

"Tried so damn hard," he continued to growl hoarse and roughly as he bit against your fleshy mounds that were now glistening in slight sweat, "to make you realise my obvious want for you," he panted heavily as he began to shuffle about again, your body too weak and overwhelmed to resist anything he'd do to you now, but as you felt your legs being lifted and the feel of your pants being roughly pulled down you mewled in excitement as to what's to come.

Though your mind was hazy with the thick fog of arousal as the room slowly began to permeate with that smell of sex, your hands slid up his body, squeezing into his firm muscles on his arms, your mouth watering slightly as you took into consideration the sculptured frame of perfection that hungrily stripped you as if you were the marvel to behold here.

"Feeble Scholar, my a-ass." You breathed out to which he once having finally thrown your pants on the floor bent back down closer to your mouth to properly hear, "what was that?" He panted out his request, his face so flushed with his burning desire for you. "Yo... you can't blame me for having... doubts, how could I have ever expected to... engg... have a chance with you? You're so... perfect." You confessed your insecurity to the whole ordeal that had been burning at the back of your mind since the moment you began to pine after him, alcohol really was a dangerous thing you'd drunkenly realised.

He sat up, an almost flustered amusement painting his face as he lulled his head back, lazily running a hand through his silver hair, looking as if in thought, before sniffing in sharply through his nose and lowering his head back down to burn his gaze back into yours. You suddenly felt that naked feeling again, and it wasn't because you were in nothing but your dampening panties underneath him, no, it was that look he gave again, as he burned every detail of you into him, as if blinking would make you disappear so he wouldn't dare too.

"I won't be held responsible for this," he muttered out as you felt a tug at your waist and then heard another snapping sound. You gasped about to voice a complaint over one of your favourite panties now being ruined, but instead, you choked on your words and hiccuped a moan out instead. His long fingers deftly shoved into your now soaking entrance, two push inside which caused you to shudder hard under him and writhe around, his grip on your hip kept you in place however, bruises were sure to show tomorrow from his hold.

He began to scissor you open in an expertly way that left you speechless and mewling with delight, his thumb pressed against your clit and stimulated it simultaneously with quick and fast circular motions, your eyes beginning to water as your body wracked with pleasure as if small sparks of electrocution ran through your very veins, the heat pooling below rapidly now. "Heh, that's it, keep singing for me Y/N, keep," he began to spread his two fingers wider inside you, stretching you open deliciously past your normal limits, "making, those, faces." every word he gruffly barked out with that hot underlining tone of lust was accentuated with the spread of fingers lodged deep inside you.

You felt your climax barrelling into you so suddenly, the way your body tensed under him, your eyes rolling back as you cried out, the gush of your own slick and juices coating his fingers and hand, dribbling down to his wrist, he merely smirked as he watched you unravel beneath him, a gift for himself, so beautiful and alluring, he continued to scissor and thrust his fingers slowly inside you as you rode down from your incredible high.

He then leaned down beginning to pant harder, he sounded out of breath, much like how you sounded right now too, your face flushed red from cheeks to nose and ear tips, he wore the same expression, both of you intoxicated by far more than just alcohol. You had so many thoughts and words wishing to be voiced aloud but you found them dying on your tongue with every attempt, the sensations causing too many shudders and delectable thrums of ecstasy up your spine.

It wasn't long at all till his mouth was on yours again, another hot, sloppy make out between you both, tongues twirling with each other as air was squeezed from your lungs, teeth clattering in the transaction but it meant nothing to you, feeling him on you like this, devouring you, it felt good, so good, and so right, you submitted yourself wholly to him and he could sense it in the way your body relaxed and fell pliant beneath him as he continued to domineer the stinging hot kiss between you both, a muffled groan leaving his throat only to be swallowed hungrily by you in return.

"w-want you..." you whimpered softly while catching your breath.

"You're gonna have me." he concluded as he sat up and swiftly removed his tight emerald green vest that often left nothing to the imagination of his amazing physique.

You hesitantly lifted your hand up, the intrusive thoughts of wanting to explore every crevice of his skin, every ridged bump along his six pack down to the sharply carved V-line that disappeared beneath his unbelievably tight trousers. But your hand stilled, as if worried or more so, undeserving to feel such a beautiful being like him. He merely scoffed incredulously to your hesitancy, gripping your hand firmly and placing it flat against his abs, your cheeks flaring red as he guided your hand along those said tempting ridges and bumps, feeling the divine skin underneath you.

"We are past shyness of touch dear, stop looking at me with such hunger, and start actually acting on it," he chuckled in a far too sexy way above you as he knelt between your legs that were now hung either side his own legs. His hair a cute mess, his lips wet from your constant need to suck the air from one another, his eyes glossy and coated over with soul damning lust.

You let your hand continue to explore his abs before slowly sliding up and over his pecs, across his toned chest, he truly was stunning, so well built, he lies when he says he doesn't work out, no one gets a shape this godly without putting effort in, but you would reprimand him for lying later, now is worship time, your other hand began to join you in its neediness to explore him and he chuckled airy like toward you, his brow raising in amusement making him look like a smug god before you, "You really like what you see huh?"

You scoffed with the first sign of confidence you'd had since this whole crumbled down fiasco transpired, "Wouldn't you if you was faced with such an unremarkably sexy person?" you quipped back, he then swiftly gripped your hands and bought them to his lips, soft gentle kisses pressing into them as his eyes locked with yours once again, a smile pressing into your hand from his lips as the hot breath fanned against them as he spoke, "I am." is all he rebutted back at you before guiding your hands up and above your head, locking them together with one of his own, his strong fingers clasping round your wrists.

You blushed hard at his compliment, suddenly he has such a way with words, so suave and smooth out of nowhere, you were use to the cold distancing from before, and then the goofy and sarcastic man after, but this new side of him was just as welcome as all the ones you'd seen before, any side of him you would accept as part of him, just as you knew any side of you yet to be revealed would be seen no differently by him.

You blinked the tears away that swelled in your eyes from the overwhelming insanity of all that was taking place currently, sniffing softly as you tried to regain composure, the buzz of the dandelion wine and the heady scent of sex clouding your judgement so easily, your focus was redirected down south sharply however, when you heard the sound of his zipper ringing out, your throat suddenly felt too dry as you swallowed in anticipation.

You didn't even notice the cocky smirk on his lips as he watched your shining eyes focus solely on his fingers under his trousers away from your prying sight, he couldn't deny the desperation frothing inside him to feel your walls clenching around him however, so in one swift movement he pulled the front of his trousers down and with it the spring of his nearing eight inch cock bounced out in all its well trimmed glory.

Your eyes bulged wide at the sight, Archons he was massive! ...was, ...was he gonna be able to fit inside you? Suddenly you wasn't so sure as you looked at the pretty shaped pink head weeping plentiful of its precum, the thick girth and more than generous length, so heavy it was that even with how hard he was to the thought of taking you, the blood pumping down south couldn't properly lift the darn thing, it stood straight out and drooped ever so slightly.

"Holy fuck Al, you're ma-massive." You choked your words out with little care of modesty, you were worried and impressed, and you wasn't gonna deny it to him. He laughed, properly, full of warmth and genuine amusement, it gave you that giddy feeling again to see his sweet smile with no filters. "Relax Y/N, if you don't think you're up to it-" he was being polite, you knew that, but the look in his eyes was obvious, and you also knew he didn't mean it, he wanted you, bad, and you're anything but a liar, your mind could hardly even catch up to your current thoughts as you blurted out shamelessly, "No, fuck me-"

He squeezed your wrists in his grip tighter, to the point that you'd almost forgotten he still had them caged above your head, his eyes simmering into a darker shade as his lust consumed him, his expression looking ravenous and hungry now, "Thank fuck you didn't say no, I need you, so fucking bad," he snarled the words out beside your ear to which you mewled at as you felt his thickness now rubbing against your slick covered walls, your hole clenching around nothing in desperation to feel full.

Just as his head began to prod and poke at your entrance, sending tiny shivers rippling all over your muscles, for some reason, completely lost to you, your mind thought about the condition of his clearly expensive furniture. "W-wait! Your s-sofa..." your voice was so unsteady now, words became harder and harder to force out, you just wanted to make animalistic sounds of pleasure, pleasure he kept sinking you further into. He shook his head as his hand released over yours and placed firmly beside your head, the other now on the other side too, caged beneath him once more, just how you'd grown to like it apparently. Your hands reflexively shooting out as your hands dug into his muscular arms, flexing beneath your squeezing fingers, you squeezed tightly, trying to ground yourself to him, to anything, just, to feel as if you wasn't drowning, but oh, you were.

"May come as, a haaah... surprise to you, Y/N," his voice strained as he began to push his thick girth deeper, and deeper inside you, spearing your insides and stretching you unfathomably around him, your juices spurting out in unbelievable amounts, coating his cock in a shiny layer of slick as it continued to bury deeper inside you, your voice gone entirely now, replaced with heavy pants, whines and mewls, your brain frying all that's coherent. "But I don't give, a shit, about my sofa, ahhh f-fuck meeeerrngh, right now." he snapped his hips forward suddenly to finish bottoming out inside you fully, your stomach looking slightly bulged to his sex driven mind, but he could just be high on endorphins right now.

Upon feeling his tip press and kiss against your cervix it forced a combined moan from the pair of you, you'd never felt so fucking full, you'd only had sex a handful of times, but you didn't need to be a slut to realise no cock would ever have this man beat, he remained still, his thick veined cock lodged deep inside your spasming and tight walls, his eyes fluttering shut as he sucked a breath in harshly trying to steady his control, "fucking...hell Y-Y/N, you're so bloody tight mmnph.." you panted heavily, your tongue lulling out as you did, he couldn't help but to lean down and kiss you with a searing hot passion, your fucked out expression did something wild to him and if he had any less self restrain you'd be fifty-shades fucked out your fucking mind right now.

Your tongues danced with each other in nothing but a messy exchange of saliva, muffled moans and whines at his testing little thrusts, short and slow, but he was so deep that he was already making you see stars, you pulled away to breath once again, your lips shiny from your messy and continuous make out sessions, "well sorry, but did i-it ever occur to you, you're too f-fucking deep," you hissed as he suddenly rolled his hips into you causing him to rub and press against several of your sweet spots, your shuddering and spasming causing him to shudder as well, both of you cursing to high Celestia and back in unison as he then breathily chuckled against your ear, "nah, you can take more feisty thing," he mused.

Before you could question what he meant though he began to thrust fully into you now, slow but continuous and deep, your eyes squeezed shut as you began to moan loudly with wild abandon, he had no neighbours anyway so what'd you care? "S-see? taking me so well, good girl, haah." his voice was deep, strained, rough and hoarse, everything and all things that make him sexy to you at any given time, he was all in one at this exact moment, and his praising made your mind go fluffy and flash white behind your eyes, he realised it instantly with the way he almost came from your sudden squeezing and sucking from your ever so tight fluttering walls.

"ahh, fuuucckk, you like that baby? mmh?" he tilted his head as he sat up, his hips flushed against yours still, but now knelt between you sitting up he could probably admire the picturesque form you currently were in, sinfully gorgeous with how thoroughly fucked out your face was, your eyes half open, filled with lust and want, your cheeks red, your skin glistening with more sweat, panting and mewling, you were utterly divine to him right now, he laid his hand flat against your stomach slowly, pressing the bulge that he could certainly conclude was actually there now.

The way he pressed down on your stomach made you stutter out a sobbed moan, he was making you feel more full if that were even possible, he pressed against his own cock that was wedged so deeply inside you now, "mmh, I never did realise, just how... small you were, fuck, compared to me Y/N." he bit his lip harshly and you somehow found the energy to chuckle, though you were becoming rapidly more lightheaded, "telling me you have a size kink now, h-huh?" he smirked at your jab as he rolled his hips roughly against you again, causing your eyes to roll back and let out a wanton moan, "what was that, my little good girl." You mewled in response to the praise, the pet name if you will, your walls fluttering vigorously around his length again causing him to bite his lip once more to remain composed before beginning to trust at a steady pace now.

You couldn't believe you both were just idly revealing kinks while he was actively impaling you. But like you'd come to accept, opening up to him really was easier than breathing at this point. And breathing was suddenly becoming harder for you too, with how he continued to spread you open, rearrange your organs and insides to mould into the perfect sleeve for his cock, and his cock alone, he was burning his girth, his length, him, inside you fully, and you knew you weren't gonna forget the feelings he gave to you, and you didn't want too.

Your eyes had closed what, ten minutes ago, twenty? …forty? You really wasn't sure, but his pace hadn't let up, the battering of your poor insides was starting to ache you, you'd already came again and he'd just thrusted you through it into utter overstimulation, his lips trailing your neck, your shoulders, nibbling your ear, marking your chest, overstimulation was clearly another one of kinks, but with the way your tears spilled so gratefully and the delicious burn of your battered inside built you quickly to another encroaching climax, maybe... you were also into over stimulation, hmm.

"Fuck... Y/N, sorry but, I'm close..." if you were able to form anything of coherent audibility right now you would tell him to shut the fuck up with the whole 'sorry' sorry for what? Idiot. If he thought he was under performing right now... he needed a serious talking to, but as you felt his cock begin to twitch wildly so deep inside and the way he showed no signs of slowing down or pulling out, you started to realise why he may have said sorry...

"w-ahh wait, wa-wait, Al...mmhp, Al, you aren't s-seriously going to, to..." he shook his head as he pressed himself down onto you, his chest pressing against yours, your breasts rubbing against his chest as his hand flatly laid over your mouth, so big it was his fingers had to part to let your nose have an airway to breath through as your eyes widened to your sudden forced silence, "shhh, be a good girl, take it, take it all Y/N, Mmph...," he rolled his hips before beginning to rut into you, his hand sliding between your bodies and hurriedly swirling circled motions against your swollen clit and with that your eyes rolled back as he sent you over into another blissed out orgasm that flashed your sights white and your hearing just ringing out.

"Ahh fuuuck, yes, just like that baby, just like that, keep cumming on my cock you slut." you couldn't say anything, even your moans were muffled into near silence, your harsh breaths through your nose as your head went fuzzy and utterly fried from overstimulation now to the point of being fucked dumb, your nails scratching down his back leaving marks, eliciting a sharp hiss and growl from Al-Haitham as he continued to rut hard into you, "f-fuck, I'm cumming baby, I'm cumming, take it, take it a-all, arrghhh!" his head lulled back as he groaned out and then you felt it, spurt after spurt of hot thick ropes of his cum painting and smearing your insides, filling you to the brim, the squelching of your ridiculously soaked and battered entrance around his throbbing and twitching cock, hungrily your insides sucked and milked his balls dry till his shallowed thrusts into you and the twitching of his cock had nothing left to give.

He dropped down onto you, careful not to fully crush you under his weight, both of you panting heavily as he slid his hand from your over your mouth up into your hair, softly petting your scalp, the affectionate gesture made a warm swelling feeling inside you, that or you know, the bucket load of his cum and cock still deeply buried inside you. It was only once the haziness began to leave and you were left post thoughts after sex that you began to chuckle before breaking into a fit of laughter, his eyes had closed from exhaustion, but opened slowly to your laughing fit, chuckling himself and lifting his head softly before the contagious laughter caught him too, causing him to break out laughing as well while dropping his forehead against yours, both of your eyes watering with joy filled tears and overwhelming emotions.

Once the laugher died down and you were both now just sniffling with slight chuckles his eyes sunk downward then back up into yours, "Darn, the sofa's ruined now." he snorted to which you giggled at childishly, then the silence took over fully and you both lay together, eyes locked on one another once again, "I like you too Y/N." He boyishly smiled at you to which you rolled your eyes before a smile couldn't help but form too, "I would hope so" you returned.

-

After your pillow talk to one another you both got up and cleaned the mess up as best you could, he offered you first shower to clean yourself but you decided it was easier to just shower and clean together, you both continued to chat and joke, somewhat naughtily in your washing up time, but managed to come out of it actually clean. You didn't further discuss his prior feelings toward his ex-friend, it was his business not yours after all, though it saddened you to think you may never see Kaveh again, people come and go unfortunately, and in all honesty, no one knows what the future holds do they? Optimism is best suited in these saddening times to keep one going, and you wanted him to remain positive, you wanted to help relieve some of his sorrow and tension and you felt the mood had finally lifted and unbelievable progress had been made, the man you'd been crushing so hard for, reciprocated your feelings fully and it left you warm and fuzzy whenever you thought about it.

You stayed the night, to which more less than innocent things took place in his bedroom with you, no surprise there, he had amazing stamina and recovery time you'd thoroughly figured out during this endeavour. But the next morning you ate breakfast with him and continued to bask in the comfort of just being around him, to which he fully and equally returned the mutuality of. But alas, you did have work back at The Akademiya, so with a chaste farewell kiss you bid him goodbye till the next time you had time to come see him, assuming he still wasn't ready to come back just yet, which you were fine with, at least you had closure to his absence and could tell your colleagues to shut up with their bickering and rumour spreading.

-

The sun was rising bright above Teyvat as you were inside Al-Haithams office giving it a quick clean over, it was growing dusty from the lack of attention it had received for weeks now, it had been a couple days since you and him, took the next step in both of yours relationship, so to speak, and you couldn't help but already be missing him, did it make you petty? Probably, but at least you felt somewhat closer to him in here, in his office, and the excuse of spring cleaning kept everyone's suspicions at bay.

"Missing me so much already are we?" His voice came from behind you suddenly, causing you to jump near out your skin, whipping round fast eyes wide before resting your hand on your chest calming your nerves, "Archons Al, don't sneak up on me like that."

He quirked his brow as he set down some various documents and paperwork onto his desk turning to you, "Me? You're the one skulking about my office stalker." he squinted his eyes in challenge but you knew better than to raise to it, "Am not." or so you thought.

He smiled as he glanced around realising you had been cleaning his office during his absence, "Thank you though, honestly, for taking care of things while I was too busy moping." He turned back to his papers beginning to organise them in order of projects in dire need of attention on top, with the less urgent ones beneath.

"Well, everyone needs their time and space Al, even the amazing Scribe." you smiled warmly as you finished the left over areas that needed cleaning, gasping softly when you felt hands suddenly squeeze your hips and spin you back around, your hands dropping the cloth as they rested quickly atop his broad and firm shoulders, meeting met face to face with Al who stared down at you, your cheeks flushed red, you were in public was he mad?!

"Al?! Not here you mad man!" You whisper yelled to him trying your best to have a serious and scolding expression but he merely chuckled an kissed the tip of your nose lovingly, "Whatever happens between us in this office, is of no concern to others." he flatly stated as he began to trail kisses down your neck, your core beginning to pool with heated arousal and neediness for the man against you, a sigh of content seeping from your lips as your eyes fluttered softly, "What do you plan to do to me in here AL..." your voice was soft and laced with nerving excitement and anticipation.

He lifted his head to let his eyes capture yours once more, his breath hot against your lips as he whispered seductively, "That's my business, not yours."

[ghostlygeto]

elevator | james wilson

pairing: james wilson x fem!reader

warnings: more selfship! it’s all i write basically hehe, forced proximity, reader is referred to w she/her, reader is snippy and wilson is awkward, no romance just awkwardness, reading panics a little cos in small space, wilson comforts her, HAPPY ENDING :D but not romance. house’s shenanigans. not proof read….

word count: 2.1k

it was simple. walk from the morgue to the elevator, get off on the first floor, go to your car. at least it should be that easy. though for some reason this was always the hardest part of your day. it was the time you’re the most likely to see wilson, which made it the hardest.

you checked your phone, the time reading 10:07pm. technically he should be home by now. he usually tried to get all his things done and leave by 7:45pm. at least he used to. you hadn’t spoken to him in ages, not since the night you called him crying. but that was close to a year and a half ago now, maybe even two. you tried not to keep track, you realized after awhile that it caused more harm than good.

regardless, you make your way toward the elevator. first before you can leave you have to stop by house’s office, as he requested an autopsy report on one of the bodies recently brought down (why didn’t he do it himself you would never understand) and requested it be hand delivered, of course. you weren’t sure when you started giving in to his obscene requests and dealing with his sub-par personality again but you had, and unfortunately you weren’t hating it.

in a way it brought a sense of normalcy back. as much as you may hate to admit it.

“house,” you pushed his office door open, a little surprised to still see him here. “here’s the autopsy report you asked for.” you held up the folder and set it down on his desk. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

“yep. tomorrow.” house raised his eyebrows and gave a fake smile, “have a good night!” there was something hidden in his tone, but you chose to ignore that for the time being. it didn’t matter now, you were going home. that is what mattered right now.

you turned your back to him, trying not to overthink the way that house was talking. you had known house long enough to know that most of the time he had ulterior motives. rarely did they include you, but you knew better than to think you were safe.

you pushed the elevator button to take you to the main floor, sighing as you heard footsteps behind you. because of course you couldn’t just ride the elevator on your own. the universe just didn’t work that way, not for you.

the elevator doors opened and it wasn’t until you pushed the lobby button that you saw the other person in the elevator.

“wilson,” you nod your head, forcing a smile as a greeting. the elevator ride would be two minutes, max. but god the idea of having to stand here with him for even that long made your stomach churn.

it’s not like it was your first time seeing him in three years. you work in the same building; even if he is on the fifth floor and you’re in the basement there are moments of overlap. catching glimpses of each other in the corner of your eyes or seeing each other in the cafeteria. but it was your frist time being in such close quarters to each other as soon as the doors closed you felt like you were suffocating. it was miserable.

wilson didn’t say anything in response. you didn’t turn to look at him, but you can imagine that he had his brows furrowed trying to figure out what you were doing on the fifth floor and what he could say to you to make things feel less tense. the answer to the second question was nothing.

“it’s late, what are you-” wilson’s sentence was cut off by the shake of the elevator stopping. both of your eyes shot up to the screen that showed what floor you were on, but it just flashed it’s lights at you.

great. of course the elevator decided to get stuck right now, at 10pm, when you were alone with wilson.

“are you serious,” you grumbled, hitting the door with the palm of your hand a few times before repeatedly pressing the lobby button. “of course this would happen. just my luck.” you rested your forehead on the cool metal, trying to calm yourself down. this was fine. everything is fine.

“i’m sure whatever the issue is they’ll have fixed soon.” wilson attempted to comfort you, knowing you already hate elevators as-is. he couldn’t have known that his words were only going to make you feel worse, the very sound of his voice making your stomach churn.

“right.” you nodded, correcting your posture and moving away from the door. the two of you stood in silence for two minutes before you gave in and sat down, putting your head between your knees.

wilson watched you carefully, clearing his throat and beginning to speak as he did so. “so, y/n. how- how have things been?”

“i’d prefer if you call me l/n,” you answer quickly, “things have been fine. i’m fine.” you could see the way he frowned from the corner of your eye when you asked him to call you by your last name. you didn’t want to have conversation, and you didn’t want him to treat you like a friend. because you were coworkers. nothing more, nothing less.

“don’t be that way,” he sighed, leaning against the opposite elevator wall and sinking to the ground. “you’re seriously going to make me call you by your last name?”

“why would you call me anything else?” you ask, tone harsher than intended. why were you being this way? maybe it was a defense mechanism, “you don’t call house greg, and he’s your best friend. i don’t see why you’d call me anything other than l/n. we’re coworkers.”

coworkers. that drew a scoff from wilson, “coworkers? that’s how you want to describe us?” wilson looked away from you for a second before running a hand through his hair. “i guess not talking for close to three years does take us back to square one. you’re right.”

“don’t do that,” you sneer, looking at him to meet his questioning gaze. “don’t say the you’re right thing to me. you only say that when you have something else to say. if you’re thinking something, just say it, wilson.”

wilson looked at you bewildered for a second before laughing, “jeez, you really still know me that well?” he shook his head, “i don’t think time can turn us back into coworkers, is all. i don’t think we’ll ever be back to just that.”

“strangers, then?” you offer, uncharacteristically cold. maybe you’d been spending too much time around dead people to remember how to socialize properly. or worse, too much time with house.

“quit being like that.” he shook his head at you, “just because we haven’t spoke doesn’t erase all our history as friends and…” he fell silent for a second before clearing his throat again. “beside the point, we aren’t strangers or just coworkers and you know that, l/n.”

you wanted to argue with him more, but you didn’t have it in you. not when you felt like the walls were shrinking with every breath you took. “fine.” you didn’t say anything else for a few seconds before speaking up again. “how’s your wife?”

wilson stiffened. bad, then.

“we actually never got married. she decided a few months before the wedding that she couldn’t handle being married to a man who is at work so much.” wilson rolled his eyes, “as if she didn’t have all the time in the world to decide that. had to wait until we were about to get married, right? how are things with your boyfriend?”

“i broke up with him shortly after…” you paused, knowing that the answer was shortly after the phonecall you two shared god knows how long ago. “i told my therapist about him, and she said that i should be with people who make me happy. not miserable. so i broke up with him.”

“i see.” wilson nodded, picking up on the fact that you were keeping part of the information from him. it didn’t matter, though, it wasn’t really his business. aside from the fact that he still cared about you, he had no reason to push for more details. “good for you, then.”

silence overcame the two of you once again, looking at the clock on your phone in hopes that it would somehow make the elevator magically work again.

it didn’t.

“it’s been ten minutes,” you groan, “what is taking them so long? you don’t think we’re like…stuck stuck do you?” you looked over at him, panic filled eyes as the thought sneaks its way into your head.

“why, you have somewhere important to be?” he raised an eyebrow before getting serious. “no, if we were stuck stuck i think cuddy would’ve called one of us by now. probably just an issue with something electrical. we’ll be out of here soon.”

you sigh, resting your cheek on your knee. “i have no one to be other than my bed it’s just…” you wonder if saying this is the right thing, but it seemed there was nothing better to do than to talk to each other. “being around you is hard. i feel like i’m going to explode. i want to explode.” you look at him, the slightly bewildered look making a smile creep up on you. “and making stupid small talk is killing me. it’s hard to be normal around you because i’m not sure what normal should be with us.”

wilson paused for a second. to be honest, he also didn’t know what normal was supposed to be between the two of you. but he wanted you to be comfortable with him. at the very least he wanted to be friends again. “i don’t know either. but we won’t know until we try, right? even if we have to relearn what normal means for us. we can do it. i’m- i’m willing to try. for you.”

“quit looking at me like that,” you roll your eyes a little, almost laughing as he feigns offense. “i suppose, maybe, i’d be willing to try and relearn. for you.”

a smile broke out on wilson’s face as his shoulders dropped, relief clear in his eyes. “things’ll be good. being friends will be good.” he sounded like he was trying to assure both of you (because he was) of the fact.

it seemed on cue that as you two made amends, the elevator started working again. you both sighed happily and stood from your places on the floor, relieved to be out of the metal death trap.

“i’m never getting in another elevator,” you mumbled, dusting any debris off your lab coat as the door opened. “i’ll see you soon, james.” you waved to him, quickly making your way out of the building and to your car. you passed house on the way, silently wondering how long he had been waiting in the lobby for wilson.

“so,” house tapped his cane against the ground as he approached wilson, watching you walk away. “how’d it go in there?”

“you had something to do with the elevator?” wilson wanted to be surprised, but at this point he was so used to house’s antics that he should’ve guessed it from the start. “you are unbelievable. you know she hates small spaces, you could’ve caused her serious issues-”

“but you were there with her. she would’ve been fine.” house rolled his eyes as the two of them started walking, “i was tired of both of you moping around. it was clear neither of you were going to make the effort, so i did it for you.”

wilson looked to his older friend bewildered, “you did something for the better of two other people? and you don’t get anything out of it? jeez, if i didn’t know any better i’d say you were a clone.”

“i am a clone,” house replied quickly, “and i do get something out of it. i get to be done hearing your longing sighs as you watch her walk past, and i get to stop seeing her stupid pouty eyes when she sees you in the cafeteria.” he paused, “do you want to get something to eat?”

“sure, house.” wilson accepted the offer, despite knowing he’d probably be the one to pay. “whatever you say.”

comments, reblogs, nd likes appreciated!!

[bellysoupset]

Carsickness?

Leo was bouncing his leg up and down as they waited for Bella and Luke to get out of the house. He was trying to keep an upbeat attitude, after all Jonah was already cranky enough for both of them, but it was hard when those two idiots seemed to always be late for everything.

"How are you gonna run for mayor if you cannot make it to a 9 AM appointment, Luke?" Leo groaned, as they finally walked out, Lucas bouncing on his feet, while Bella trailed after him with a tired demeanor.

"I'm running for mayor?" Luke frowned, jumping the last two steps and messing up Leo's hair, causing the blonde to shove him off with a scoff.

"Give it five years," Leo grumbled, while Jonah simply huffed, arms crossed to his chest and leaning against his car.

"Twenty three minutes," Jon said through his teeth, leveling Lucas with a glare, then Bella as well for good measure, "you two said you'd be waiting for us, twenty three minutes ago."

"Oh my, you're going to die because you waited twenty minutes?" Lucas rolled his eyes, "you're the one who invited us, if you don't want us-"

"Actually, I invited Bella," Leo cleared up, feeling a smidge of amusement over his annoyance that matched his boyfriend's. If there was one thing they could agree on was that being late was terrible.

Luke made a wounded face, all but pouting and stumbling into place, "Ah... You don't want me to go...?"

Well, shit.

More often than not they could joke and all be sarcastic and mean and it barely registered, but in truth the last thing that Leo wanted was to hurt his friends. He let out a sigh, "I didn't say that."

"God, you guys are so mushy," Bella groaned, planting a hand on her husband's back and shoving him forward, "get in the car, Atwood."

It was all the incentive they needed and they got the party on the road. Leo was driving, for once, because he really didn't want to go pick up his new car feeling carsick and woozy. Jonah was still in a shitty mood, but he had retrieved JD from her cat carrier box and was petting her, a clear tell his mood would be looking up soon enough. And Luke wouldn't shut the fuck up.

He was like a little kid, or rather, a puppy trapped in the backseat of their car that was far too small for him. Bella was leaning against the door, curled up slightly and watching him with a fond smile on, not seeming bothered by the fact he didn't seem able to stand still.

Leo wondered if he had that same type of stupid love struck look on when he looked at Jonah, because for all Bella wanted to upkeep her bitchface, she was clearly smitten to hell and back.

"Do you guys wanna stop for breakfast?" Luke pushed his face slightly against the window as they drove by a side of the road restaurant.

"Our appointment is at 10h30 AM" Jonah reminded them, "no stopping."

"Can we turn music on?"

"No."

"You're gonna remove that stick from your ass or...?" Lucas rolled his eyes, sliding his had in between seats so he could pet JD, only for Jonah to turn his body away, shielding the cat.

Leo caught Bella's eyes in the rearview mirror and she was grinning like mad, leaning to whisper in his ear, "they're never beating the sibling allegations."

Leo snorted at the thought, glancing at Jonah once more and the frankly very similar jawline he had with Luke... Whatever. They had enough family drama without needing to turn their group into a full blown soap opera with paternity reveals and what not.

The shop they were headed to was in Portland and not the best area of the town, hence why Leo had asked Bella to tag along. If there was one person in their friend group that he trusted with mechanics it was Bell, and even more so to kick the ass of anyone trying to scam him.

The opportunity had just been too good to pass up, a beautiful white SUV that had Leo already imagining himself inside of it like a prince and better yet, that fit the price he had set for himself. Of course Jonah had bitched and moaned about getting a second hand car, but he could bitch and moan all he wanted, Leo wanted to pay for his own car thank you very much.

Again, if there was anyone who understood that, it was Bella and her Jurassic car, that was older than both their ages combined.

"Uhm, Leo," Bella poked his shoulder, "can you pull over? Over there," she pointed over his shoulder to a quiet street in a bit of a broke down neighborhood. No, he did not want to pull over Jon's fancy BMW, but he did anyway.

"What's wrong?" Lucas asked, who had successfully managed to pspspsp JD to rest her little head in his hand, turning to look at his wife.

"Just a second," Bella mumbled, pushing his had away from her waist when Luke tried to hold her, and opening the door.

She circled the car and Leo frowned, looking at Jon with a puzzled expression, "what the hell...?" in the rearview mirror he saw Bella brace against the trunk, taking deep, measured breaths... Then bend down and disappear from view.

"What the fuck!?" Leo echoed his incredulity, throwing his own door open just in time to hear her retching, half muffled by Luke's exaggerated, "BELL!"

Leo got out as well, while Jon kept his ass planted inside, but threw open his door, carefully moving JD back to her carrier.

As soon as Leo rounded the back, he found Bella almost down to her knees, coughing. She was holding on the back of the car with one hand, while the other one was trying - and sort of failing - to keep back her hair. There was a small puddle of vomit, but nothing much.

"Why didn't you say you were feeling sick, baby?!" Lucas skipped down to his knees, grabbing her and starting to rub her back, causing Bella to let out an annoyed groan.

"I'm fine..." She panted, eyes squeezed shut and breathing slowly through her mouth. Leo raised his eyebrows, not sure if he was impressed by her ability to lie in face of the evidence or not.

"Did you get carsick?" he asked, sidestepping the mess and Bella shook her head, blowing out a small burp and leaning more forward. Luke planted a hand on her forehead, supporting her head as her stomach, appearing thanks to her crop top, heaved once more.

Leo cringed in sympathy and returned to the car, where Jonah had a queasy frown on, "no," Leo knelt on the seat, poking his fiancé, "no bitching at her for getting sick, be nice."

"I'm not a dog," Jonah barked at him and JD meowed, sounding offended just like her owner. Leo snorted, grabbing a water bottle in the glovebox and showing his tongue to his cat.

"Stop siding with him, little miss, he doesn't even give you extra snacks," Leo whispered, then walked back to the back, where Bella was trying and failing to cough up more of last night's dinner.

"Shh," Luke held her hair back now, deciding to make himself useful, and was rubbing her back with the other hand, "deep breaths, baby."

"Shut- Shut up," Bella groaned, gulping down nauseously. She lifted up her head to look at Leo, "I'm sorry..." her throat bobbed dangerously, "just give me a minute."

"No, take your time," Leo frowned, "don't worry about the appointment, the guy can wait ten minutes."

The irony of his words, when they had been bitching about waiting just an hour before, was not lost on Leo and he opened a smile. Bella offered him a little queasy smirk, before groaning, "oh god-" and heaving again, managing to bring up a mouthful of brightly colored stuff against the tarmac.

A gruesome sight, really. Leo's disgust probably showed on his face, because Luke glared over Bella's head, "go away," he said roughly and Leo jumped, spooked.

"Sorry, I- I'm gonna give you some privacy, sorry-" he walked backwards to the driver's side and entered, feeling a stab of guilt. He didn't mean to make Bella self conscious, hopefully this was just Luke being insane...

"Is she alright?" Jon asked, glancing at the rearview mirror. They couldn't see much, just Luke rubbing his wife's back and Bella's bending down with another heave, "that was out of nowhere."

"It's this stupid stanced car," Leo grumbled, crossing his arms, "I wouldn't survive 10 minutes in the back."

"My car is not stanced," Jon wrinkled his nose, offended, "it's just a sports car."

"The back is cramped."

"Luke was fine and he's twice her size," Jonah pointed out, then perked up as the couple in question walked back to the car.

Bella collapsed inside, holding the water bottle to her face, appreciating the cool surface. Her voice was all raspy as she said, "sorry, guys," she gulped down, "don't know what happened."

"Carsickness is a bitch," Leo volunteered, then nearly laughed as he saw Luke trying to fix Bella's top and her shoving his hand away and hissing, "stop fussing, I'm fine."

"Hold on," Leo turned up the A/C to the max, knowing it'd help and Bella let out a small relieved sigh. She opened her eyes, seeming to be coming back to her former self, then unscrewed the cap of the water bottle, taking a sip.

"Let's go?"

"You don't want us to wait a minute?" Luke frowned, stroking her cheek despite Bella's previous shoves, "just so your stomach settles?"

"It's plenty settled," she cleared her throat, taking a bigger gulp, "c'moooon, I'm not dying. Let's go, we're getting blondie a new car today."

And sure, she was all show and badass attitude, but Bella did look better. Her paleness was fading quickly and she no longer was gulping down nervously. Nevertheless, Leo kept an eye on her, just in case.

The mechanic wasn't far out, but the guy smelled like beer and immediately assumed Bella and Leo were together, since they were the first to enter. How the guy hadn't clocked him as gay was beyond Leo, but he bit his tongue and said nothing as the mildly homophobic man continued to chat up Bella as if she was the airhead wife who called the shots of their relationship with pouts and whines.

"It's a nice car, right ma'am?" the man opened the driver's door for Bella, adjusting the seat, "gonna impress all your friends, it's a head turner."

"I know, right?" Bella's voice was up a whole note to a chilling degree and Leo opened a huge smile at her cheerleader tone, "Leo, sweetheart, look at the automatic panel..."

"Its got a blindspot detector," the mechanic continued to prattle on, "it's keyless and-" he clicked on a button, opening the trunk, "a huge trunk for all sorts of groceries."

"A big trunk, Leo!" Bella squealed and Leo had to press his lips not to laugh, "he loves it, if you know what I mean," she winked and the man nodded in approval, letting his eyes go down Bell's body, completely missing the double meaning.

"Yes, ma'am, he's a lucky man," he said patting the leather seat, "the backseat is spacious, you wanna check it?"

"Absolutely," Bella jumped from the driver's seat so she could climb in the back.

Leo took the chance since they were both preoccupied, so he could look back to where Luke and Jon were waiting at the doors of the garage, both silently shaking with giggles. Jonah's face was an entire shade darker with a blush and he looked close to tears from the effort of holding back laughter.

"Can we take a look under the hood, Keith?" Bella asked and the man eagerly approved.

"Of course, darling, c'mere-" he opened the hood, then did nothing, gesturing around, "as you see, it's all in order-"

"Battery is not original," Bella's voice was now back to its own normal tone and the man seemed startled, "neither is the painting, the car used to be orange," she pointed a detail, "and-" she started unscrewing something that was totally beyond Leo's knowledge, then turned around and grabbed a metal rod from one of the mechanic benches, cleaning it and shoving it inside the compartment she had just unscrewed, "this oil is from the last century, he'll need to get this changed ASAP. You're gonna reduce the price of that, of course- Did you change out the radiator? Why?"

Keith looked like he had just seen a magic trick and his brain was trying and failing to figure it out. He spluttered a bit, so Bella planted her hands on her hips, "Keith?"

In the end, Leo got two thousand bucks off the price he had originally planned to pay, as well as a whole wheel, that they gracefully put in the really large trunk.

They drove out separately now, Leo and Bella in the new vehicle, and Jon, Luke and JD in Jonah's car, "I kinda miss having keys," Leo pouted, "I was gonna get a cute keychain."

"You can still get one for your house keys," Bella smiled, leaning in to squeeze his arm, "and for the emergency car keys."

"I guess," he couldn't stop smiling, "at least now you're not gonna be carsick on the drive back. I'm sorry, we should've thought Jonah's car was cramped as hell and taken Luke's-"

"I wasn't carsick," Bella shrugged, lowering her window and smiling as Jon zoomed past them, honking for good measure. It was probably Luke driving.

"No?"

"Nah, felt off since I woke up," her cheeks turned pink, hand sliding to her stomach in a fond manner... And Leo nearly drove his brand new (sorta) car straight into a lamp post.

"Bella?!"

"No," she shook her head, then paused, "I don't know, don't think so," Bella bit down her lip, seeming hesitant for the first time all day, all the brilliant confidence he had seen before vanishing in a puff, "don't tell anyone, not that there's anything to tell, just-"

"Does Luke-" his mouth was really dry now and his heart was hammering, as if Leo was the father of Bella's hypothetical baby. She shrugged, uncomfortable.

"Please don't say anything," she looked away, "like I said, it's probably not it."

"Ah," Leo's head was spinning now and he stopped at a red light, catching up with Luke and Jonah. The window lowered and Jonah poked his head out, sunglasses on and whistling.

"Hey handsome!" he yelled and Leo lowered his window, but he was really off his game now, "can I have your number!?"

He chuckled weakly, while Bella leaned over him, "fuck off, he's taken, Jonah!" she said brightly, squeezing Leo's arm so he'd get himself together, "suuuuch a lucky guy to land a beautiful woman like me, Keith said so!"

Jonah cackled, raising a middle finger and lowered his sunglasses, a lopsided smile on as he caught Leo's eyes, "race you home?" Luke made the BMW roar.

Bella scoffed, patting Leo's shoulder, "c'mon, blondie, get your shit together. Your car is cooler than Jon's prehistoric BMW!" she shouted the last line and Jonah continued to laugh.

"Can't hear you over the noise of you LOSING!"

Leo shook his head, catching Bella's eyes and then squeezed her hand in his, forcing up a smile and turning to her, "put your seatbelt on, Bell," then to Jonah, leaning out of his window as well, "eat dust, motherfucker."

All he heard was Jonah saying, "crush 'em," to Luke before the lights turned green.