#I love writing but I've feeling down lately
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drdemonprince · 1 day ago
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I remember a while back you did a fun ask game where people sent in kinks and you rated how good an investment they are and it keeps popping into my mind because of how chill you were about kinks that even kinky people tend to view really negatively in the sense of ethics. I was wondering if you had any advice on how to *feel* chill in terms of my own kink ethics. I intellectually believe that fantasies can’t be immoral and that kink with other adults is moral as long as there is consent (and appropriate risk awareness).
But I am still pretty triggered on the topic when it comes up. Eg, earlier a friend told me they are cutting someone they love off for being friends with someone who “sexualizes trauma”. And yeah, that is definitely where some of my darker kinks come from—though not all. They’re entitled to that opinion and action of course! But hearing all the things they said against this person triggered me, making me feel like I’m dangerous and that it is wrong of me to interact with them going forward even though this isn’t a topic I would discuss with them anyway. Until writing this I hadn’t even considered if they are still a person I *want* to interact with given this. Though I’m sort of unclear on whether it is actually wrong of me to interact with them still.
I am working with my therapist on this. And I know it will take some time to work through. I was just wondering if you had any words of wisdom on the topic.
My thoughts are that if I had a friend who cut people off for having problematic (or in this case, just like, unsettling?) kinks, I would not feel safe around that friend. It would seem to me that they were judgemental, moralizing, and had a completely different viewpoint on how the world operated than I did, and that sooner or later they would demonize me for things I thought, fantasized about, felt, and so on. I might have sympathy if the person was a trauma survivor early in their recovery, as it's quite common for people to think in very dogmatic, black-and-white ways about morality in order to protect themselves and to be highly reactive to perceived threat. But their feelings of safety are their own business to guard over, and mine are mine, and I just wouldn't be able to get along very intimately with someone like that. I'd have to give them a wide berth until they started to get over it, if they got over it.
Recently, a friend of mine was completely ostracized from their local queer community simply for writing a piece that touched on a taboo fantasy -- a taboo fantasy they had concocted as a way to cope with some really gnarly early childhood abuse. They lost performance gigs and friends, had hate campaigns erected against them, had mobs of people threatening all their remaining friends and colleages, all based on a rumor about a piece that they never even got to perform anywhere because someone had heard it was about a taboo subject and even the IDEA of what it might be made them uncomfortable, and so they assumed my friend was condoning abuse when they were literally just describing what had already happened to them and how they found healing from it. Shit like this sucks, and it comes down most heavily against queer people, especially trans femmes, and I've seen the fear mongering ruin enough lives that I try to steer really clear of it.
My life has been so blessed by inclusion of people with really intense, taboo, stigmatized kinks into my life. I was afraid to even breathe a word of my hypnosis fetish to anybody until I was in my late 20s, because I thought it was so freakish and evil. and now I routinely talk with people about really animalistic feral fantasies, harkness rule violating monsterfucking, rape play, necro fantasies, abdl, age regression, incest roleplaying, blood, eating bodily fluids, and everything else that freaks people out but harms no living being. Even when it's not my stuff, even when it's something I might personally find a little squicky to actually be in the room with, it makes me feel seen, safe, and free to express the depths within me. I think surrounding yourself with more people like that or just consuming their stories can help a lot. And trying to find some mental distance from the people who do fear monger and get triggered. They have their reasons for feeling as they do. But that doesn't mean we have to align with their values or actions.
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milkmily · 3 days ago
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Hello <3
Could you pls write Shoko x (female) reader where reader is feeling a little insecure about her body and Shoko praises her while making out (and maybe fingering)
Ty
Yes I can 😈 also sorry it took me forever I've been busy these past months 😭
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Shoko Ieiri x Fem! Reader | Request Open :) |
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You felt horrible.
You just felt horrible about yourself.
Maybe it was the outfit you had on.
Or maybe it was because on the way to work, someone pointed out how ridiculous you looked with what you had on. It was some random people you don't even know.
Their opinion shouldn't even matter, you don't know them. Yet, it affected you so much. Honestly it was probably because you woke up in such a bad mood that their words got to you so easily. You Honestly thought your skirt looked pretty with your shirt. Your color leggings and heels matched it all. But apparently, some people don't like it. And well, their opinions mattered to you a lot.
You were soon at work, grabbing your white coat and putting it on. You were presented with Shoko who walked up to you and kissed your cheek, her gloss left on your cheek. “Morning, I got you your favorite drink.” She says as she points at the table.
You nod as you smile And start to button up the coat. She gives you a puzzled look and asks, “Why are you closing it up? Though you hated it?”
“I'm cold. The skirt isn't helping it.” A lie. Shoko hummed and said, “it isn't cold. Keep it open.” She moves her hand on top of yours to stop you. You looked at Her and sigh. She smiled as she saw your skirt and your color leggings that matched with your shirt and heels. “hey, this outfit today is cute. I like it.”
And hearing her say that made you feel good.
“Really?” You never usually say that. You either say ‘oh, I know!’ Or ‘I made this for you because I knew You'd like it’ or something else that you always say with such confidence. But today, you wanted her approval. You didn't sound as confident as you always do.
“Yeah, of course. Everything you wear is cute.” She says as she moves her hands to your hips. “why?” she asks. “What's the matter?” her tired voice asks. And you told her. You told her how in the morning you woke up late, that the hot water at your apartment had gone off so you showered with cold water, how you ran out of your favorite snack, how at the Cafe you go to to get your drink was closed, and that some random people made fun of your outfit. “And I know I shouldn't care! I know! But today they really made me feel, just- ugh. I feel horrible. Of me, of my clothes, everything of me.”
Shoko listened to everything you said. She sighs and holds your waist. “I'm sorry that happened today.” She says. “You want to take a hot bath at my place after work?” She asks and you nod. She smiles softly and cups your face, “and who cares about their opinions? You're Beautiful, you always will be. I love your cute clothes you always wear at work or when We go out.” She says as she gets closer to you.
“They Turn me on sometimes.” She admits and starts to kiss your neck. You softly sigh and hold on to her. “Really?” You ask. “Always.” She says.
The whole day at work Shoko was driving you crazy. Absolutely crazy. You could already feel how wet your panties were. You tried your best to heal anyone who walked in who needed a small healing. Satoru had come in to simply talk with Shoko about some random thing you can't even remember because all you thought about was her. How her lips would feel in that sweet spot you liked to be kissed on your neck. Her sweet words hit your ear as she squeezed and played with your nipples. You groan as you look down at Your report as you try to concentrate.
“She seems really distracted. What you do to her?” Satoru asks while grinning at the long brown haired woman. Shoko shrugs. “Nothing. Said her outfit was cute today and that was all.” She says as she sucked in her lollipop. A lollipop you had given to her yesterday that she left in the pockets of her coat. He chuckles and continues to talk about how he annoyed Nanami and about his Students.
Once the final report is done, you and Shoko sigh. “Finally!” She says as she stretches. She took her coat off and hangs it. She helps you take off yours and grabs her purse. She hands you yours and says, “I need to stop buying at the store. Is that okay?” She asks. You nod as you walked out of the infirmary room.
Shoko ended up buying one of your favorite wine brands and some snacks. once at her apartment, she had told you to go and grab the clothes you wanted as she prepared the bath. You were nervous. It isn't as if it's the first time you two have sex. You two have had it many times, even at work. On your knees, your pretty heels hitting the floor as you sucked on Shoko's clit. God, she was so stressed that day, you just wanted her to feel good. your hands on her thighs As she moans and rides your face as she came.
You grab the towel and sigh as you go into the bathroom and sit down on the stool. You washed your body and stood up to see Shoko already in the bathtub. She smiles and you dip your feet in and sit down. Shoko's eyes never leave you or your body. She smiles and wraps her arms around you as you sit down between her legs and lay your back on her chest. She breathes you in and says, “you smell nice.”
The warm water made you feel relaxed. You Honestly forgot what those people even said about you. Who gives a shit about them anyways. As you relax, Shoko's hands go under your arms and gently cup your breasts. She squeezes them as she kisses your back. “You're beautiful, you know that?” She says as she planted another kiss. “You are so beautiful.” She whispers and gently tugs your nipples. You softly moan and move your head to the side, wanting her to kiss your neck. She smiled and kissed it.
“You know.” She says in-between kisses. “You really did look cute in that short skirt and those cute colored leggings.” You shiver and whine as she slowly moves one hand down as fge other cupped your breast. “You are always somehow cute with everything you wear.” her fingers spread your lips open as she teased your clit. You whine and gasp. “I sometimes feel like you only really wear those skirts with me and with me only.” She closes your pussy lips again and squeezes them, causing you to jump.
“You were wet for me, huh?” She grins. “I saw it when you went down to pick up that pen you ‘accidently’ dropped. I saw that wet spot.” She says as her fi gets open your lips again and start to rub your clit, causing you to jump. “God, you're so hot.” She says as she bites down on your shoulder. You moan and move your his, the water slashing, some of it landing on the floor. She couldn't help But whimpers at just hearing you.
You were just so beautiful. She kisses your neck and sucked as her fingers mkve faster, causing you to hold tightly to the tub. She smiles and says, “Baby, can you have your pretty ass up?” She says. Fuck, the praises. You do as so, your ass facing her as she stood up. She smiles as she saw how wet your pussy was. She licks her fingers and rubs your wet silky folds up and down. “You are so gorgeous. You know That?” She says.
“Your pussy is so pretty too. You're all wet because of me…hmmmm.” She smiled as she kissed your ass and pushed a finger in you. You moan and turn to look up at her. her breast wet, nipples perked up. You wanted to suck and bite on them just how she likes them. You moan as you feel her finger curl up. She smiles and pulls her finger out, tasting it. “Hmm, you taste so good.” She says as she gets on one knee and kisses your ass again. She goes lower and lower to your thighs.
You shiver and moan at her kisses. She was so close to your poor Aching clit. You move your ass closer to her face and she chuckles. “Eger?” She says and licks a long string of your pussy. She moans at the taste and closes her eyes as she goes to your clit and licks it. You felt goosebumps all over your body. You close your eyes as you press yourself more on to her mouth. She moans, her moans being muffled up by your pussy. She spreads your pussy lips up as she licks to taste you. She grins as she feels your legs shake.
Shoko moves two of her fingers to your wet entrance that aches for her fingers. You moan as you feel her fingers slowly push in and out of you. And then a sharp pain is on your ass. She slapped your ass. Fuck, it felt so good. She holds your ass tight and slaps it again as she sucks your clit. She loved hearing your poor moans. Her fingers start to move fast as she thrusted them in and out of your dripping cut, your cream covering her fingers. “S-Shoko! Wait- oh my god!” You moaned as you tried to push her but she kept going. You feel like you are going to sleep the Moment you cum on her fingers and tongue. She giggles as she keeps eating you.
“Shit, You are so hot right now.” She says as she moves a hand to rub her clit. She moans as she sees how your poor legs struggled to stay up, her fingers pumping in and out of your poor wet cunt. She grins as she goes faster and you scream, cuming on her fingers. She chuckles as she sees how you squirt on her fingers. She hums and licks your cunt one last time, tasting you.
You were whining as you try to catch your breath, holding on To the tile wall. She smiled and smacked your ass, making you yelp. “You did good, babe.” She says and kisses your shoulder. “Let's get out so we can drink that wine.” She says as she give you a towel.
You two did drink the wine on the living room sofa but you couldn't Help but return the favor by eating her pussy. Her cunt dripped in your mouth as she sipped her wine and moaned. Her fingers running through your hair. You moan and look up at her. Her beautiful brown eyes looking right back at your eyes. She bites her lip and throws her head back as you suck on her clit. “Fuck, you look so beautiful.” She praises as she opens her eyes to look at you. “Eating me like this- ah fuck.” She moans and smiles. “You are always so beautiful. All mine. Fuck, you're all mine….” She moans and closes her eyes. You couldn't help but moan at her praises. You push your fingers in her as you suck and Lick her clit.
God, you felt so good. Your back arching more as she praised you. She smiles at the arch and gasps as your fingers cruel up. She nods and praises you even more. “right there baby, God, yes- you are so good- ah ah fuck yes I'm going to cum soon baby.” You loved how she talks so much during sex. Her praises and everything about her drive you crazy. She drops the wine glass on the floor, not caring if the carpet is now stained red. She tugs your hair as her feet curl. She whimpers and moans as she cupped her breast. She was so close.
Her moans soon turn into screams as she cums on your fingers. You pulled your fingers out as you licked and licked. She is so sensitive. She jumped at every lip. You smile at her as you lick your fingers clean. She smiles at you, panting. She moves her hair away from her face and says, “you did good.” And pulls you into a kiss.
Honestly, you forgot why you even felt horrible. All you thought of was how Shoko and you both looked and were.
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giggly-squiggily · 3 days ago
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oh my god yessss your requests are open!!! how about lees chigiri and reo with ler kunigami? they're both being brats so kunigami teaches them a lesson🫢🙃 have a nice day/night! ❣️
{REQUESTS ARE CLOSED! This is an old ask}
Heyo anon! Oh my goodness, I love this so much! Any chance to write Ler!Kunigami is a good day- and my darling Chigiri! Reo and him deserve all the tickles and love! I've gotcha covered, anon!
Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps):
@myreygn @cupcake-spice13 @chibisstuff @imjusthere07 @riisada @ticklish-n-stuff
“Is he meditating?”
“I think so? Rare sight huh?”
“Very. We shouldn’t bother him.”
“...Why not?”
“Hmm. Good point.”
Kunigami tried to ignore their chirping, eyes closed and breathing deeply. It was late, and his favorite way to cool down after a long workout was some good ol’ deep breathing exercises. Normally he’d do them in the workout room right after, but Bachira and Isagi were there and he was starting to feel like a third wheel.
It was only after he got comfortable in the space between their beds that he remembered why he never meditated with Reo and Chigiri.
“....Ren.” Chigiri breathed out his name, poking him in the cheek. “Hello? Are you focused?”
“Kunigami~” Reo poked his other cheek, wiggling his finger. “Don’t lose focus~”
Clenching his jaw, he tried not to smile at their efforts, for he didn’t want to encourage them. He tried humming in hopes it’d tune them out. Alas…
“Gah! Careful!” He shivered as Chigiri dragged his fingers against the back of his neck, switching to tickling.
“Whoa, whoa, Hero- you’re meditating!” The redhead laughed as he did it again, enjoying the way his boyfriend shrugged up his shoulders in defense. “You can’t speak when you meditate!”
“Yeah! You can’t laugh either!!” Reo joined in the tickling, using one finger to get him behind the ears. “Do that humming again! Hummmmmmmmmm.”
“Hu-hhmhmhmhmhmhmmhm!” The hero tried to hum, but the tickling was far too much. With a giggle, he wriggled out of reach, twisting to glare at the giddy duo. “Knock it off!”
“Oo, he’s so mad now! We better run, Chi.” Reo clapped like a delighted seal, proud of his mischief. Chigiri merely rolled over onto his back like a lazy cat, stretching out with a yawn.
“Nah, I’m not scared of him. He’s a big softie under all those hard earned muscles.” He waggled his eyebrows at his boyfriend, earning a blush across Kunigami’s cheekbones. “What’s he gonna do?”
“Oh you wanna find out, huh- that’s it! Come here!” He went to grab at them, but they scattered, leaving him falling into a now empty bed. Seconds later, he was hit by sudden  weight from behind- two weights to be exact- as he crashed into the bottom bunk. “You utter bra-ahahahhats!”
“What was that, hero? You ought to speak up!” Chigiri cooed at him, kneading his sides with nimble fingers. “I can’t understand you through all your giggling!”
“Whatcha say? We’re brats huh?” Reo teased as he carried on tickling his neck, making the ginger scrunch his shoulders up to his ears. “Unforgivable! Apologize for your disrespect!”
“Ahhahahah! Nehehehehver! Yoohohohu twohooho ouhuhuhuhght to be ahhahapohohohologizing!!” Now a funny thing about Kunigami; he was ridiculously strong. So much so that 90% of his and Chigiri’s tickle fights where he’s on the losing end are intentional. Right now; he didn’t feel like giving them the victory.
He was gonna make them remember.
“THAHAHKE THIHIHIS!” With a powerful roar, the hero rised. Chigiri yelped when he was suddenly tossed off, pulled into the blankets below. He had just enough time to watch Kunigami pull him over before fingers in his sides made him jerk and squeal. “Nohohohohohoho, hehehehehhero!”
“What? How did you-” Reo wasn’t quick enough to escape either. Dragged down with the giggling redhead, he was pushed onto his stomach with a hand vibrating into his lower back. “Noohohohohohoho! Dohoohhon’t tihihihickle me thehehehehre!”
“Well well well, how the turntables..wait.” Kunigami grinned down at his victims, relishing their bursts of laughter as he clawed at their tickle spots. “Oh okay- how the turns have tabled! Let’s go with that!”
“Thahahaht’s nohohohot eheheheven the quohohohohote! Gehahahhha, Kuihuuhuhnigahahhami!” Reo cried, clawing at the sheets as he thrashed back and forth, properly stuck. “Cohohohome on, lehehehet me uhuhup!”
“Ahehahhaa! Gehahhhahaha, pleahahhahase! Spahahhahre me, hehehehehro!” Chigiri pleaded, curling up on his side when Kunigami switched to his stomach, making his cheeks flush as red as his hair. “Ihiihihih’m yohohohohohur bohohohoyfriehehehend!”
“So you are.” Kunigami mused, giving his hip a pinch and making the redhead spazz. “And yet, you still chose to mess with me! I don’t think I can forgive such acts that easily.”
“Iihihihi’ll kihihihiiss yohohoohu!” Chigiri pleaded. “Ttwhohohhooh kihihihiisses!”
“Hmmm, tempting.” Kunigami grinned, turning to Reo- the other boy halfway out of the bed. “What about you, Reo?” He tugged him back and onto his side, digging into his ribs and making him scream. “What are you offering?”
“Ahahahhan ihihihinvihihihitatiihihon to kihihihiss my ahhahaha-AHHAHHAHAAH!” Turns out Reo’s hips were way worse than Chigiri. Delighted by this discovery, Kunigami focused his efforts on that spot alone. “COHOHOHME OHOHOHON!”
“I’m not hearing the magic words~” He mock teased, watching the pair flail and laugh about. Between Chigiri’s mouse-like squeals and Reo’s cackling swears, he could listen to this all day long. “I know you two know it- say it and I’ll stop.”
“FIHIHIHINE FIHIHINE, I’M SHAHAHHARRY!” Chigiri pleaded as his knees got attacked next, finally giving in. He was released shortly after, curling into a ball at the end of the bed as Kunigami doubled his efforts onto Reo. “Ghahahah..gihihihive in, Reheheo!”
“Nehehehhehever! I ref-UUUHUHUHUHUSE!” A hand in his armpit had the purple haired teen backtracking immediately. “FIHIHIINE FIHIIHNE SHIIHIHIT YOHOOHOHU WIN! LEHHAHAHVE ME BEHEHEHE I’M SHAHAHARRY!”
“Good. See? Was that really difficult?” Kunigami did as promised, finally ending his devious tickle attack. He stood back with his hands on his hips, satisfied by the results of his little attack. “Now you two know what’ll happen if you mess with me again.”
“Eheheh..hehehee..sleehhehep with oohohne eye ohohopen…” Reo groaned out, glaring through his residue giggles. “I’hiihhl gehhehet you bahahack. We bohoth will! Right, Chigiri? Chigiri?”
When they turned to look at the suddenly quiet redhead, they found him passed out, snoring softly against the wrinkled sheets.
“He’s like a newborn puppy.” Reo almost wheezed, grinning at the sight. “One good ‘bout of excitement and he’s out like a light- dead asleep.”
“I’m kinda jealous. Maybe I’ll try it next time I can’t sleep.” Kunigami had to agree, sharing a soft smile with the other. “Come on- it’s late. Let’s head to bed before someone comes in hollering.”
. A few moves later, Chigiri was tucked away in his bed, face in the pillows and crimson hair scattered like a halo. “I’ll expect my kisses at some point, princess. Don’t you forget.”
“Ugh, you’re so sappy I’m gonna be sick.” Reo groaned from his own bed, laughing when a pillow hit his face. “Fine fine, I’m going to bed.”
Kunigami grinned at him before turning back to Chigiri, finding him looking back at him sleepily. “Oh, did we wake you?”
Instead of answering, Chigiri gestured him down. When he was close enough, he leaned in and kissed him gently.
“That’s one for tonight.” He told him, voice barely over a whisper. “ I’ll give you the other one tomorrow.” He closed his eyes soon after, falling back to sleep with a smile.
When he eventually returned to bed, Kunigami fell asleep to the sound of his still racing heartbeat, the taste of sugar on his lips keeping him smiling through the night.
Thanks for reading!
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horrorslu7 · 2 years ago
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I'M BACK BITCHES, MISSED ME?
Also, THANK U SO MUCH FOR ALMOST 40 FOLLOWERS, it means a lot to me really.
Thank you for reading what I write and supporting me 💕
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shibaraki · 4 months ago
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I'M FREE I am finally fucking FREE this weekend, I’ll get these wips done soon I swear on my life
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bunnihearted · 23 days ago
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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lemurblog · 9 months ago
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Is it wrong that im shipping alex the lion with my oc
it's not wrong. in fact it's important, and even essential, to ship alex the lion with your oc. if it inspires you then you're on the right path
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 7 months ago
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
---
"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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suffercerebral · 1 month ago
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i wonder if my ex best friend remembers my birthday every year the way i remember hers
#haven't really thought about her in a while#hope she's well#i don't think she remembers it#i often feel like i'm leaving flowers at the graves of people from my past#lately i've been haunted by thoughts and dreams about people i used to love#and i will always love all of them#no matter how badly i got hurt in the process#a piece of me fractures off when i love someone and i wish they'd keep that piece tucked away somewhere in the closet and dust it off somet#imes. i stil have every letter#every gift every photo every silly thing i've saved over the years#and i know that no one does the same for me#i wonder what my ex did with the drawings i made them after they dumped me for their ex. were they thrown out and forgotten#or maybe did they keep them in a drawer somewhere to find a few years down the line and remember my face. my voice. my laugh#i still have the letter i started writing for them about a week before they left where i was saying i regretted not telling them i loved th#and sometimes i wonder had they seen the finished product if things would be different#my reluctance to admit my love out of fear of being forgotten results in abandonment more often than not#my girlfriend now swears the pattern isn't going to repeat but i've heard that song before and lately i haven't felt safe#and loved the way i once did. she tells me to talk to my therapist. but i don't think it's in my head. i told her if she's thinking of#leaving to just do it now and spare me the pain of love burning out slowly#and maybe she'll listen and that terrifies me#i am my own biggest burden
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arcane-vagabond · 1 year ago
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#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point#i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one#i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit#and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair#and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again#i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl#and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it#and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill#and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with#and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own#i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person#and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks#also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me#and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now#and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do#and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this#but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me#and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end#anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down
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aberooski · 6 months ago
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I love my gx winx au and I love that it's just bits and pieces of me being like oh that's fun and not having any semblance of lore or plot. It's purely contained to the character designs I've drawn for the girls.
#it will stay contained to art too it's not something I'd ever write#like I know absolutely nothing about this au of mine but I'm obsessed with it all the same#like I learn something new about it every time I've drawn something#I don't draw a lot for it yall have seen everything I've done and it's usually just a drawing of alexis cuz I love her design lol#but like I'm doing panels for it rn right? and like it's just coming together like the story of what's happening atm#and that's like the only story there actually is rn but it's just falling into place#so I can actually make something of substamce out of this tiny concept I had for a drawing I wanted to try because I had an itch and it grew#that doesn't really happen to me anymore like I haven't felt a spark like that since I wrote OUAD#nothing I've written since has felt the same#and like I said this isn't something I would write into a fic or anything it would just be too much but it's really everything to me rn#something I can come back to and dip my toe in whenever I really feel like I need a spark again and it just makes me happy#I grew up with 4kids winx club so another reason I'd never write anything for real is because I refuse to watch any other version#like I've tried I just can't do it my mind rejects any other version so I only know the universe to a point anyway and but that was my thin#it made me so happy as a kid and it still does now like those are my girls and they mean the world to me and being able to play#within that space with other characters I'm obsessed with and combine into something that miraculously works is amazing#I need to draw more stuff for this au I guess is my whole point#I need to see what other things can..... bloom....... (heh) within that space and what will just manifest before me#I need that something to make me feel that spark again because I don't want to lose it forever and I think I'm starting to find it again#life has just been knocking down over and over lately and it's destroyed so much of my mental state and honestly randomly deciding to try#and actually draw actual stuff for this au has been so healing. I almost feel lighter#it feels stupid amd silly to say but it's true#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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lucyvaleheart · 6 months ago
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noperopesaredope · 3 days ago
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Does anyone else ever feel guilty for liking pop music (particularly bubblegum pop) because it makes you feel like "a basic bitch"?
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samderella · 1 month ago
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Living with my in-laws after evacuating from a hurricane be like
I appreciate you love and want to spend time with me, but if you don't let me hide in the guest bedroom and write nonsense for five uninterrupted hours, I will scream
#water is out at my place for at least a month minimum#out-laws happily invited us to live with them and they're like oh yay Sam is here#and I'm like if I was home and dealt with this much social time in a row I would turn my phone off and not talk to anyone for three weeks#but no you expect me to hang out with you for at least a couple hours every night#and are concerned if you haven't seen me yet in a day#every time I overhear them ask my partner if I'm okay when I'm just trying to recharge my social battery it goes back down#the autistic energy drain of being perceived#now that I'm living with people other than my partner again every action I do at home has to go through a filter#is this inconsiderate? too noisy? will get in the way? am I being rude by not interacting with my hosts to the degree they desire?#am I fully clothed when I go get a snack or get high???#I've lived by myself since late 2016 and moved in with my partner in 2018#for a reason! it takes so much mental energy to be considerate to the degree I wish to be ahhhhh#anyway I'm 11000 words into the flower shop au and 5000 into chp. 5 of APNJ#post date entirely unknown as I am an introvert living with lonely extroverted parents who miss their family constantly and love me#I could go stay with mine but that would be even worse soooooo#my hurricane experience could be 1000% worse so it feels wrong to complain too much#but unfortunately I may still be driven mad if I live here for over a month#vowed never to live in this state again RIP#using this tumblr to vent because again don't feel like I can complain too much#was extremely lucky on so many accounts#but I would really like to go write smut without being concerned I'll be summoned for game night or whatever#as an extreme oversimplification and dramatized example#I miss home :(#we officially got power back today but city sent out another alert saying still no water for no idea how long#wooooo#shoutout to anyone who bothered to read this I'm using the vent as a way to amp myself to get back to writing#I've had a very emotionally complicated week and a half and even when I do get time to write I don't do it because not in right mindset#I miss May when I cackled to myself while writing terrible smut#my stuff#vent
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vitiateoriginator · 9 months ago
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I've been going thru a major creative block recently and I'm really depressed over it
#there's so much stuff I want to do but can't#I'm trying to finish some valentines adopts that I want to sell but Im struggling to finish the linearts as well as find good colors#for the characters#I've also gotta publish the next chapter of my book which is late AGAIN#but every time I open the word document to write I cannot put down anything interesting or coherent#I tried to switch to preparing some draft one shots for ockiss week but even with that I'm facing the same issues#I talked to my therapist about my creativity block and she said I just need to carve out time for myself#like. alone time where I can be creative in a way where it also doesn't feel like a chore to make things#but I don't have the ability to make that time#between work and my datemate almost constantly being around I have no way to get that#and even during the times I do get to be alone all I want to do is scroll thru tumblr and reddit or watch videos#I can't even imagine amvs to music anymore for fuck's sake!#I'm literally always fucking tired and mentally drained#I can't do the things I once loved anymore because it feels too overwhelming to put in the energy#I've tried ti meditate too to see if that would help but my brain is constantly thinking#so that doesn't help at all#and I have nobody to talk to or interest in any media to help get the creative juices flowing again#AND on top of that everyone in my life just seems set to make sure I'm as miserable as possible 24/7#ok maybe that last part is just the depressing talking but it does still feel that way#I feel so lost man. I just want to sleep for 2 months straight#sam's rants about life
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hyunebunx · 2 months ago
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⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ⏖ ’ early morning moments with skz !
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⁺ 𖹭 . genre: fluff! jisung's a tiny bit suggestive
⁺ 𖹭 . a/n: since i've done late night moments with them, i think it's only fitting i write this as well! enjoyy <33 pls let me know your thoughts by reblogging or leaving a comment <3 (inspired by some of these prompts <3)
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𝜗୧ chan 𝜗୧
You’ve been awake for a while now, snuggling and holding each other close as half of your body was on top of your boyfriend’s, almost latching onto him like a koala bear without shame. And he didn’t mind, Chan never did, content with being glued to you in every situation, hugging you so tightly like he wanted you to morph into one, the same entity kept alive by the beating of a singular heart.
“You fell asleep in the first 20 minutes of the movie last night.” You whisper, drawing random shapes on his exposed pecs, laying in the crook of his neck. Chan makes an apologetic sound before he’s interrupted by a yawn, stretching his arms above his head and letting one fall to curl around your middle. “Sorry, baby. I guess I was pretty tired.”
Tired is an understatement, and you laugh, lazily reaching for your phone on the nightstand to show him exactly what you’re talking about, with him tugging you right back to his chest when you stretch too far. There is a picture of Chan, sitting on the couch with his head thrown back and mouth open, snoring away while the movie he’s been begging you to watch together was rolling in the background.
The laugh he lets out is quieter than usual, the remains of sleep obvious in his half-closed eyes and deeper voice. “Damn, I was out like a light.”
You continue cuddling for a while before agreeing it’s time to start your day, reluctantly separating and sitting up at the end of the bed, adopting the same stance.
He’s still mumbling about something when you notice his hair sticking out in every direction, reaching out to tame the curls before stealing a kiss which only makes your boyfriend want another, and another until twenty minutes have passed and you’re still in bed, snuggling and making out like the world outside your bedroom did not exist.
𝜗୧ minho 𝜗୧
“Minho.” You whisper, tossing and turning under the blanket to face him, peering at his sleeping face. Your boyfriend was on his back, resting peacefully, unaware of the godly beauty he possessed, one people would surely go to war for, chest rising and falling rhythmically.
He doesn’t respond so, you try again. “Minho!” this time, he scrunches his nose cutely and rolls over, away from you and your antics he was too tired to be a victim of this early in the morning.
“Minho, are you awake yet?” You know what they say, third time is the charm because your boyfriend responds instantly, voice loud and clear, the opposite of your soft tone which takes you by complete surprise. “No.”
“Oh, okay.” you whisper, feeling bad for disturbing him. “Sorry.” you almost turn on your side and succumb to slumber before it hits you. Without warning, you swing a leg over his torso before rolling yourself over him to land on the other side of the bed, ignoring all his groans in protest.
“Liar!” You’re nose to nose now and Minho barely gets to open his eyes before you push his shoulder, causing him to fall on his back as you climb to straddle him. You waste no time leaning down and connecting your lips in a sweet kiss, cupping his cheeks and squeezing affectionately. As much as he wanted to complain, Minho couldn’t help but smile against your lips, body melting into the mattress while one of his veiny hands moved to rest on your exposed thigh, needing to feel more of you.
He should lie more often if this is the reward he gets.
𝜗୧ changbin 𝜗୧
“Binnie.” You’re gentle as you brush curly hair strands from his forehead, smiling when he instantly leans into your touch. “My love, I know you’re awake.”
“Then you should also know I hate waking up to an empty bed.” He pouts, eyes still closed stubbornly. With the same fond smile, you roll your eyes, hand dropping down to slowly trace his every feature, knowing he could never resist you.
“I had a good cause, I promise.” When he doesn’t budge, you reach for the tray on the nightstand and place it across his lap, over the blanket, careful his smoothie doesn’t spill over. “I made breakfast.”
Just like magic, his eyes snap open and he sits up so quickly you wonder if he got whiplash that was instantly cured by the smell of his favorite breakfast. His eyes sparkle as his gaze moves back and forth from the tray to you, so touched and grateful as he takes it all in, noticing the effort you put in so early in the morning just to cook a feast and surprise him with breakfast in bed. Nobody’s ever done something like this for him, love him so deeply and openly. Is this what being the luckiest man in the world felt like?
“I love you.” The words stumble out without second thought, eyes misty, forgetting all about being upset and giving you attitude. When you laugh, he does too, carefully leaning over the food to kiss you, the love of his life that adored him in the exact same way he adored you.
Love is the greatest gift he’s ever received and as selfish as it sounds, Changbin hopes you’ll continue loving him this way for the rest of your shared lives, that you’ll always remain by his side. He promises to continue eating your cooking even when you’re both old and grey, impaired taste and all.
𝜗୧ hyunjin 𝜗୧
The early hours of the morning found you in the arms of your beloved, sleeping away, undisturbed by the outside world and its people who were already hurrying around to get to work on time. You won’t be joining them today, nor will the man whose warmth was currently engulfing you whole, creating a safe love bubble you never wanted to burst.
Your face was buried in his chest, the soft material of his t-shirt moving with each breath he took, his heartbeat rocking you to sleep every time your eyes opened to check the time. Old habits die hard, but Hyunjin always manages to calm your racing mind even from dreamland.
Half an hour later, when the sun starts to peek through the drawn curtains, you’re awakened by tiny paws jumping on the bed, breathing and barking loudly. So much for sleeping in. Hyunjin’s eyes open with a smile, arms tightening their hold on your middle as he brings you even closer, resting his chin on top of your head while squeezing tightly. Morning cuddles were a must, even if your boyfriend’s other baby was too impatient to be let out to allow you to enjoy them to the fullest. 
“Good morning, love.” He greets you with a kiss, lingering there for the briefest moment before finally tearing himself from you, giggling down the hallway as he quickly goes to allow Kkami on the terrace.
He comes back rambling about something that happened at a schedule the other day, blinking the sleep away as he hands you a water bottle, yawning here and there. Unfortunately for him, you’re not listening, too distracted by the way his plump lips move and his husky voice, the words going in one ear and out the other as your inner monologue takes over.
“Your morning voice is so hot.” Hyunjin stops mid-sentence, momentarily taken aback before he bursts out laughing, dramatically collapsing back into bed and reaching for your hand to hold. “What?”
You nod, now sitting up against the headboard, eyes still zoned in on his pink and wet lips, enthralled. “Tell me more, baby. What did Chan do?” “He wasn’t even there!” See, not paying attention at all. But who could blame you when your boyfriend couldn’t take the hint and finally kiss you again?
𝜗୧ jisung 𝜗୧
“I had a dream about you.” Jisung perks up from his place on your chest, the TV running idly in the background, showing a random cartoon. “Was I hot?” “You cheated on me.”
He gasps dramatically but doesn’t move, too comfortable as you continue running your fingers through his freshly dyed hair, almost lulling him back to sleep. “Asshole move, dream me. Off with his head!.” 
You chuckle, kissing the top of his head and turning into a puddle once he begins leaving wet kisses on your neck, apologizing or most likely trying to distract you from how he’s been acting in your dream. It was working, because you lost your train of thought a couple of times before managing to speak again, eyes fluttering shut.
“You were very mean, actually.” Jisung hums against your neck, licking the skin before his kisses move downwards, to your collarbones, warm hands holding you down by the waist, touch burning pleasantly through your thin clothing.
“I’m sorry, baby.” He props his head up, chin resting right above your chest as his eyes bore into yours with a familiar intensity. “Please let me make it up for you.”
That’s what he says but ten minutes into making out and caressing each other’s bodies, his head falls tiredly to his previous place on your chest and you’re both out like a light, the warmth and cloudy weather of the early morning casting the spell of sleep on your forms and trapping you in bed for another three hours.
𝜗୧ felix 𝜗୧
You were not a morning person, it was a well-known fact by everyone in your life. Especially by your boyfriend who usually stayed up to keep you company, talking the hours away and giggling under the blankets until you both passed out just as the moon was retiring for the day.
So, you’re more than perplexed when one very early morning, you feel a warm hand caressing your cheek, followed by soft lips peppering feather-like kisses on every inch of your face, coaxing you awake.
“Baby,” his deep voice calls, barely above a whisper to not scare you, leaving a kiss on the corner of your mouth this time, “wake up, angel.”
You make a face, eyes still closed in protest and make to turn over, away from him until you feel the bed dip and his hand in your hair, massaging the scalp gently. Was Felix trying to wake you up or lull you back to sleep? Pretty sure he was just as confused.
When he leans down again, hovering over your face, your arms spring up and lock at the back of his neck, quickly bringing him down and bumping your noses together. You see his eyes widen, inhaling sharply as he realizes what you’re about to do and dodges your kiss last second, lips landing on his cheekbone instead.
Groggy and grumpy from being woken up this early, you pout, relaxing under his weight as his chest presses yours down. “Kiss me!” Felix chuckles and shakes his head, hands on either side of your head holding him up. “Not until you wake up and join me in the kitchen.” Once he sees you shake your own head and move to try and kiss him again, he adds. “I have a surprise!”
Now why didn’t he say so from the beginning? You release him but he doesn’t move away immediately, smiling from ear to ear before kissing your forehead and scooping you out of bed in one swift movement, strong arms under your knees as he giggles and jogs towards the kitchen, face brightening up when a smile finally graces your features.   
𝜗୧ seungmin 𝜗୧
Every single morning, Seungmin was the first to wake up without fail, reaching for you to bring your body to his chest and cuddle until you also did, just laying there since he never wanted you to wake up alone. 
That’s why when you woke up earlier than usual, with his chin resting on your shoulder and hot breath hitting your cheek, you didn’t hesitate to move around and bring the blanket further up your bodies, making sure you were both covered and comfortable among the many pillows.
“Your feet are cold.” But Seungmin doesn’t respond, legs intertwined and body still glued to yours like he never wanted to let go, couldn’t. You sneak a glance over your shoulder and find his eyes closed, long eyelashes kissing the top of his cheeks as he rested, sleeping deeply. For the first time since you’ve known him, Seungmin didn’t smile in greeting as you woke up, still sleeping soundly like it was the most normal thing in the world.
It felt a bit strange, but your heart only grew as you watched him, admiring his side profile and the peaceful look on his face, the furrow between his eyebrows absent as dreamland took care of him.
You never got the chance to do this, wake up first and let your thoughts run wild as you resist the urge to squeeze his cheeks and plant kisses all over his face, love pouring out at a dangerous pace, threatening to suffocate him at any moment. Not like Seungmin would mind, adoring you too much to not allow you to do whatever you pleased.
As careful as you can be, one of your hands trails down and intertwines your fingers, gently bringing your connected hands to your chest as you curl further into him, content with getting more cuddle time, loving every single moment.
𝜗୧ jeongin 𝜗୧
“Did you know you talk in your sleep?” You mumble into his neck, squeezing your eyes shut as you try to hide from the obnoxious sunlight that is threatening to take your lover away with the start of a new day.
Jeongin laughs, incredulous. “No way! I’ve had countless roommates and none of them have ever complained about me randomly rambling in my sleep.” He headbutts you affectionately, almost like a cat, and snuggles closer, also bothered by the sun but too lazy to get up and close the curtains he forgot about last night.
“I’m not complaining.” Looking up, you share a breath as you move to plant a small kiss on his nose, smiling when it scrunches up in fake annoyance, knowing your boyfriend loved morning cuddles as much as you did. “I actually think it’s kind of endearing.”
He rolls his eyes, big hand drawing circles on your back under the blanket, soothing you in an attempt to get you both to fall back asleep. Mornings were not his thing, and he really didn’t want to leave you, clingier than usual. The bed was so warm, and you were so soft and smelt so good, how could he ever think about leaving? Not like he’d ever admit it out loud.
“What did I say?” He chooses to entertain you, stretching his whole body before bringing the blanket over your heads and moving his arms to hug you, turning on his side so you’re face to face. You pause, momentarily mesmerized by his beauty, messy hair and puffy eyes only making him look even more adorable in your eyes. Tracing his bottom lip, he puckers them to gently kiss your finger. “I don’t know, I don’t speak gibberish.”
He groans, regretting he asked and hiding his face in his pillow. “You also snore.” “I do not!” 
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