#I love this eldritch twink man

[crispy-dib]

I’m a huge fan of the idea I made up of Papierwaite becoming one with Yog Sothoth (Soggoth teehee) after 305 because I’m fucking insane, so have concepts of that

I love my Sam and Max au guys, it’s called The Astral Toys, you should ask me about it because I’m so normal about-

[deafmangoes]

I'm not a shipper by nature, just putting that out there. But, uh, Dungeon Meshi does things to me.

Anyway, I've shared my Farcille thoughts, so now to blabber about a different popular ship: Labru. The Hot Mess. The Disaster Couple.

Firstly let's talk about the -bru part of the ship. Kabru is a neurotic little twink with PTSD and anxiety. I don't think that's in any sort of doubt. He exudes an entirely false confidence to hide his crippling self-hatred and survivor's guilt. For some reason, this makes him incredibly attractive to nearly everyone he encounters. Rin has the traditional tsundere crush, his whole party firmly believes in him (more than reflects his actual abilities), the ninjas blush when he smiles at them, even dead-hearted Mithrun warms up to him over time. The omakes take this even further: his landlord cleans his room for him, Dia's fiancé breaks down in tears when talking to him, and Holm's sister clearly wants to get it.

Kabru's not blind to any of this. He weaponises it, really. He's manipulative to an artform! Then he meets Laios. The Monsterfucker.

Laios' sexuality is not immediately clear from the manga. He definitely has a little flame for Marcille - between his awkwardness over touching her, his succubus taking her form, his illusion memory of her focusing on her power and strength - it's not love, I don't think it's even a crush, it's just that "boy sits across the table and stares intently at you" sort of feeling.

He doesn't show any direct interest in men but dearly desires their companionship. He practically kidnaps Shuro and - even though he struggles with Kabru's name at first - takes a liking to him instantly.

So do they make a good ship? Hell no, they're fucking awful together, but it works. Kabru just natually slithers in as advisor, and Laios is more than happy to have someone take all that off his plate. If there's anything there, I think it's one-sided from Kabru, and whatever feelings he has for Laios are based in his total confusion over how Laios just... survives. He finds him fascinating. Intriguing. Possibly sexually. If everyone else is an open book, Laios is the eldritch tome he cannot decipher and will burn him if he touches it. You can see why this ship seems to naturally arise from the canon.

But from Laios' point of view, I think he's... sort of homoerotic asexual? His feelings towards Marcille are more like a fascination with the exotic and monstrous (because she's Not A Tall-Man, and he doesn't want to be one), but his interactions with male companions are much more open and affectionate, even if he's a bit oblivious about it. I think he'd openly appreciate Kabru but wouldn't realise they were in a relationship until literally at the altar.

As another user put it: Laios is a human fascinated with monsters and wants to be one. Kabru sees himself as a monster and is fascinated with humans. They definitely compelement eachother.

[horsegirlwithnoname]

i love this white boy, this stupid twink

he likes naps and poison

you take a naptime poison better than he can and he freaks and picks a fight with you, which he immediately loses, then he just lies there crying and calling himself kitten.

His willingness to throw hands over St Trina is just so funny like boy no you belong on a Sugar Daddy's arm, you should be snorting K out of eldritch orifices, instead you're rocking up to one of the scariest people in your entire plane of existence and throwing hands because it turns out they're sleepier than you.

New innovations in sad wet little man. A truly transcendent poor little meow meow.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

READ 70 PAGES OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK WITH WHICH I HAVE HOMOEROTIC TENSION AS WE KNOW

WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE HOMOEROTIC RIVALRY BETWEEN ME AND MY COPY OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK. WE KNOW. IT STARES AT ME, I STARE BACK, IT DARES ME TO READ IT AND FALL IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY MORE, I REFUSE. WE PUT THE UST IN LUST ETC.

BUT TODAY/YESTERDAY (RIP SLEEP SCHEDULE) SINCE I WASNT ON TUMBLR, I READ TILL PAGE 70 OF THE BOOK (TILL THE PART CALLED WEDNESDAY) AND GOD FUCKING DAMN. I READ IT LISTENING TO AN AZIRAPHALE BOOKSHOP AMBIENCE AND WITH CHOPIN PLAYING AND CANDLES LIT. ANYWAY. THINGS THAT HAVE STUCK OUT TO ME:

Crowley. Just everything about Crowley. God I love him. I fucking love him. This is why I avoid reading the book. I'm such a slut for Crowley. It's manageable on the show when I know it's an actor. But WORDS CROWLEY? WORDS CROWLEY IS REAL. I AM SO IN LOVE.

Aziraphale has perfectly manicured hands. I'm pretty sure this has been mentioned three times in the first 70 pages. Three times at minimum. I forget how twink he is in the show (idk how) but man the book does NOT let you forget and I love that.

Crowley absent-mindedly sank a duck. Aziraphale called him my dear (fanfic authors everywhere: write that down write that motherfucking shit down it's better than porn). Crowley un-sunk the duck. The duck was cross.

CROWLEY DID I MENTIONED CROWLEY OH MY BABY FANCIED THE JAMES BOND DECALS HE WANTED TO LISTEN TO VIVALDI COZ THEY WERE SO STRESSED AFTER RECEIVING THE ANTICHRIST THEY LOVE GOLDEN GIRLS (I LOOKED IT UP AND OH CROWLEY) THEY DRANK FOR A WEEK AFTER SEEING THE SPANISH INQUISITION THEY OMG.

THE DRUNK SCENE. I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THE DOLPHINS CONVERSATION. OMG THESE TWO FUCKING FOOLS I ADORE THEM.

Crowley IN THAT SCENE AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT SCENE HOLY SHIT. CROWLEY JUST LISTING OFF ALL THE THINGS SHE KNOWS AZIRAPHALE LOVES.

AND OMG. The CONVOLUTED FUCKING METAPHOR CROWLEY COMES UP WITH INVOLVING A LITTLE BIRD FLYING TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE AND PECKING A MOUNTAIN AND COMING BACK AND DOING IT ON LOOP. FOR WHAT? JUST TO SAY THAT WHEN THE MOUNTAIN WAS GONE, HEAVEN WOULD STILL BE PLAYING THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

As usual just like me Crowley shot himself in the foot with that metaphor. Because AZIRAPHALE, THE LEGEND, STARTS SAYING THE BIRD MUST BE IMMORTAL FOR THAT, AND THEN SAYS NO ACTUALLY THE BIRD IS BEING CARRIED IN A SPACESHIP AND THE DESCENDANTS EMERGE FROM THE SPACESHIP and poor crowley is saying SO THE BIRD REACHES THE MOUNTAIN and azi excitedly says IN THE SPACESHIP and AAAAAAAAA-

Anyway right yes sorry what were we doing oh right the book.

Anathema is so adorable as a kid what a little brat holy shit I love her. I want to see all her homework written in Middle English. I want to know which teacher finally summoned the balls to correct it.

NEWT MON CHERI HE'S SO EXCITED ABOUT ONLY DESTROYING THE HOUSE'S POWER CIRCUIT WITH HIS EXPERIMENT. Because apparently last time he fucking caused a power outage in the whole block. Or county. We stan an optimist (no one talk to me about Crowley being an optimist I will go feral and rip your larynx out).

THE THIRD BABY DID NOT WIN PRIZES FOR TROPICAL FISH. THIS IS LIKE THE ENDING OF VILETTE WHEN CHARLOTTE BRONTE GOT GUILTTRIPPED BY HER DAD INTO WRITING IT AS AN OPEN ENDING BUT WE ALL KNOW IT'S A TRAGEDY FUCK ME.

CROWLEY THE PRAY THAT HE DOESN'T IT SOUNDS SO SUAVE IN THE SHOW BUT IN THE BOOK IT LITERALLY SAYS "AND FLEES". THE CHAOTIC ANXIOUS MOTHERFUCKER MAKES A RUN FOR IT.

AZIRAPHALE FUCKING GLOWERING AT CUSTOMERS AND SCARING THEM AWAY USING EVERY MEANS SHORT OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IM DEAD THAT LITTLE BASTARD PEAK CROSS INTROVERT ELDRITCH MONSTER ENERGY.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR ADAM TO ENTER (WELL AS A NOT BABY) AHAH.

I HOPE WARLOCK IS OKAY.

CROWLEY BEING DESCRIBED AS A YOUNG MAN DOES THINGS TO ME. AS DO THE DARK HAIR AND GOOD CHEEKBONES. DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT DOING WEIRD THINGS WITH HIS TONGUE. I AM A SLUT FOR HER. IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS I REMEMBER WHY IM GREYACE AND NOT ENTIRELY ASEXUAL. IT'S CROWLEY.

I LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKES LIKE I DON'T EVEN GET SOME BUT THE DRY TONE IS HILARIOUS. LIKE HOW BOTH WARLOCK'S HEAVENLY AND HELLISH TUTORS READ FROM THE BOOK OF REVELATION. AND THE CUTTING COMMENTARY LIKE HOW THE DOWLINGS' SECRET AGENTS WERE TRAINED TO REACT TO WOMEN IN LONG ROBES. OR THE POLITICAL COMEDY WITH ALL THE CULTURAL ATTACHES AT ST JAMES. IT MAKES ME AMUSED EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO CONTEXT. I WISH I UNDERSTOOD THEM MORE.

SORRY WHY AM I YELLING ABOUT THIS BEFORE 6 IN THE MORNING FUCK I FORGOT MY SLEEP MEDS NO WONDER IM STILL AWAKE AND HYPER ALSO CROWLEY ALSO AZI ALSO ADAM I HOPE MY LITTLE PLANTS MAKE IT.

WHEN IM DONE READING THE BOOK I WANNA REREAD IT OUT LOUD TO MY THREE LITTLE PLANTS TO MAKE THEM GROW HAPPY AND KNOW WHOM THEY WERE NAMED AFTER.

[magicsodabubbles]

I love that the Billford dynamic always kind of read to me as “this tired old man and his malicious eldritch twink ex-situationship who’s been haunting him since the 70’s” and now it’s CANON

[alexandraisyes]

No pressure if you don't want to, but Kill Code ship ratings? I already know Solar Flare and Sun get a good positive rating with him... and (old) Moon probably gets a interesting rating since fictional toxicity is fun~

KILLCODE BELOVED OUGH I LOVE KC AND HE NEEDS KISSES. He's literally been shipped with basically EVERYONE by me and my friend group like we are insane about this eldritch man

Killcode x Solar Flare: 100 Stars - THEY ARE THE SHIP THEY ARE THE HYPERFIXATION THEY ARE THE ULTIMATE HUSBANDS THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEY WILL GET FUCKING MARRIED BECAUSE SOLAR FLARE IS SO DEVOTED TO HIM

Killcode x Sun: 5 Stars - HE LOVES HIM AND HES GOING TO FUCKING MAKE SURE HE KNOWS THAT HE IS LOVED AND THEY ARE SO SWEET AND WHOLESOME (and completely fucking feral bc KC doesn't give a shit about personal space, modesty, or privacy)

Killcode x Moon: 5 Stars - God the angst potential I love exploiting them. Moon was willing to do whatever it took to get KC under control and it left both of them with a lot of trauma every time

Killcode x Nexus: 4 Stars - They could and would be so wholesome like. Ough. I can't even explain it because I have so many different ideas but-

Killcode x Earth: 4 Stars - I was gonna say two stars again like I did on the earth ships but THEN I REMEMBERED MY RAMBLES AND IM LIKE HOLY SHIT NO I DID THEM SO DIRTY BECAUSE KILLCODE WOULD MARRY THAT WOMAN IN A HEARTBEAT

Killcode x Monty: 0 Stars - I have them paired for specifically one AU AND ITS NOT A GOOD PAIRING

Killcode x OG Computer: 5 Stars - No one who doesn't know the RESET AU understands this but they're so everything to me

Killcode x Ruin: 4 Stars - My friends really like them, and I have an AU where they're best friends (with benefits) so I also like them.

Killcode x Foxy: 4 Stars - Pls pls pls someone see the vision

Killcode x Miku: 2 Stars - He chose death over her

Killcode x Golden Freddy: 3 Stars - Old man yaoi real? Real.

Killcode x Glamrock Freddy: 4 Stars - Bearcode. I'm telling you. It's gonna be big and it's gonna be great and I'm gonna explode

Killcode x Solar (Nice Eclipse): 3 Stars - I'm still so curious about the logic behind this and so intrigued I wanna knowww

Killcode x Lunar: 4 Stars - No one understands my need for them they are so canon in Twisted Celestials and they mean everything to me they're silly little eldritch creatures and they're so curious about each other (they're also so canon to me for my bm and kc QPR AU where they're a couple of feral cats fr). Tall massive gentle giant x tiny little angry twink how the fuck can you not love it

Killcode x Helios (Dark Sun): 4 Stars - This could be so twisted and toxic and Helios could encourage him to be evil again I'm-

Killcode x Nyx (Evil Lunar): 5 Stars - His big guard dog that will tear his enemies to shreds and always come back at his call

Killcode x Gaia (Evil Earth): 2 Stars - She's the kind of person he hates to be honest. He'd kill her with no remorse.

Killcode x Crescent (Solar's Moon): 5 Stars - No one understands I have a MIGHTY NEED that has arisen from RESET AU. They're so so so ough I need them and I need them now he's KC's little mate he's so fucking playful and a little fucked up in the head but KC loves him anyways and jakl;fsdj;a

Killcode x Kronos (Lord Eclipse): 4 Stars - Objectively correct

Killcode x Crius (Servant Sun): 5 Stars - A SWEET LITTLE SUN FOR HIM TO DOTE ON AND LOVE AND KISS IM-

Killcode x Styx (Lord Lunar): 5 Stars - Thoughts about how possessive Styx seemed to be he would ask Killcode to stay so sweetly and of course Killcode would say yes (Styx is so fucking lonely bro KC feels so much sympathy)

Killcode x Moros (Servant Eclipse): 3 Stars - I am so intrigued but also I think Moros is too devoted to his Lord

Killcode x Icarus (Star Holder Freddy): 5 Stars - Bearcode but the bear is traumatized and that makes it better

Killcode x Eos (Lonely Sun): 5 Stars - ANOTHER SWEET SHY LITTLE SUN FOR HIM TO LOVE IM EXPLODING

Killcode x Khonsu (Feral Moon): 5 Stars - KC can fix him

Killcode x Angel (Solar's Sun): 5 Stars - ANOTHER SWEE-

[azuredragoonterra]

Alright fuckers time for the most cursed shit you've read today.

Sonic characters replacing the Berserk cast.

Its litterally just Berserk but instead the characters are Sonic dudes. Fuck my brain for coming up with this.

(Also to clarify, I'm not trying to draw meaningful parallels between the characters here, I'm just tossing them into the fiction blender and setting it to 10)

Alright so Guts=Shadow is so fucking obvious I don't even have to say it. Who the fuck else is gonna be that angsty and tragic.

This means logically we need to make Griffith=Sonic. It might hard to imagine the blue blur in such a villainous role, but like, he's pretty hard-lined about his ideals of freedom and independence. I could see him wanting to build a kingdom outta that. (Also he was voiced by Jason Griffith like c'mon this shit writes itself)

Casca=Amy is probabaly hella controversial but hear me out. She needs to idolize Sonic but still be able to form a strong emotional connection to Shadow. Take the badass leader role she took up in the IDW resistance/restoration and she fits like a glove. (Before you ask, I'm not writing this to ship shadamy, I'm just sick in the head.)

Ok so Rickert has gotta be Tails right? Like we've got our little inventor fox, idolizes Sonic, but ultimately has to find his own strength. Oh and can you imagine the slap?! Oblitetate that blue twink you funky lil fox!

Nearly forgot Puck! Initially I thought all the elves would just be Chao but then I realized... he's Chip from Sonic Unleashed. Chip as Puck is nearly 1 to 1 honestly.

E-123 Omega can be Zodd, why not. Big murder man who wants a good fight...

Shit wait maybe he should be Zavok... fuck that makes so much sense...

The Godhand are all just gonna be various eldritch super sonic bosses. Chaos, Iblis, Dark Gaia, etc. Make Void=Infinite for bonus irony points in the name.

The idea of evil is The End

Femto will be played by Neo Metal Sonic. I love the idea that Griffiths transformation made him cold, inhuman, not himself. While still obviously being who he always was underneath. Also keeps with the rest of the godhand being final bosses. Jumping forward a bit, I think when he reincarnates he oughta appear as super sonic constantly.

Ok we got the ever-green characters outta the way let's get granular.

The band of the hawk as Sonic bitches

So I don't wanna put too many iconic characters in the band and the actually relevant characters are sparce so real quick...

Corkus can be Fang/Nack. Cus he's a weasley little bitch (affectionate)

To that end let's keep team Hooligan connected and have Pippin be Bark the polar bear.

Gaston as Bean? Dude I got nothing gaston was kinda just there

Judeau however? Espio. Knife throwing.

While we're in the golden age...

Minister foss is Orbot

Charlotte's uncle, the guy Guts assassinates? Dr. Starline

Queen of Midland... Rouge? I deadass have nothing else for Rouge.

You can probabaly guess who the king and Charlotte are but they are at the bottom of the list for dramatic / comical /gross out effect.

Guts JRPG party as Sonic bozos.

Farnese shall be Blaze. They've got an affinity for fire, confidence issues, noble status, and a religious affiliation (blaze as guardian of the Sol emeralds, close enough)

Serpico is definitely Silver then. His close relationship to Farnese/Blaze as well as somewhat whimsical attitude all line up well. And Silver's telekinesis lines up well with Serpico's eventual wind powers.

Speaking of religious affiliations, Azan can be Knuckles! Hes goofy but strong and devoted to his cause.

Isidro has gotta be Charmy Bee. No not JUST because hes an annoying little shit... also cus his bee stinger subs in well for a dagger.

Shireke is gonna be Cream the Rabit. Mostly this is an in-joke on Creams high power in gameplay, and it also let's her elf Comapnion be played by Cheese the Chao.

By extension to the above. Flora ends up being Vanilia. I ALMOST decided skullknight would he vector just to continue the milf-hunter crocodile joke but came up with something better.

Ok if you've survived this far let's get into the dumb shit cus ohhh I've got some dumb shit.

SkullKnight is Big the Cat. I want all of his ominous warnings in the dopeyist voice possible. Also when he pops his helmet open to eat a Behliet (chaos emerald) it turns out it's actually just froggy in there.

Eggman is the King of Midland, SAGE is Charlotte. I'm sorry for all of the mental images this may have conjured.

Speaking of awful mental images, Gambino is Gerald Robotnik tortured over the death of his Granddaughter Maria when she caught the plague after taking in Shadow. This of all things is the one thing my brain automatically re-writes to make less weird. They ain't fucking.

That said? Gerald did make a deal... a transaction one might call it, with a certain Black Doom in sonic itself... I'm not elaborating yall can figure it out, yuck.

Elaine, aka broken Casca, is mid 2000s Amy when she had no good character traits. (Except elaine is still somehow like a million times better.)

The moonlight boy is a sonic Chao

[magicalgirlagency]

Opinions on pizzahead(pizza tower true final boss)?

At this rate, y'all are gonna ask me about every single little thing about either Pizza Tower or Amphibia, huh?

I like the chaotic and playful energy that this fruity freak has. It adds a lot of impact on the surprise of the second phase. I guess you can say it is indeed... unexpected.

I like to think I'm funny.

Apparently, he's also kinda like a lesser eldritch deity? As in he not only hijacked the tower (Gerome and John are its true guardians), but used magic to split John into many pieces to sustain each and every level (the final John Pillar in The Crumbling Tower of Pizza is the REAL one) and that's the reason why there are hidden treasure doors in each of them, with Gerome being the key to unlock these doors?!

How the fuck this nonsensical and asinine (affectionate) game has actual lore?!?

But for some reason, all of that reality-bending magic mumbo-jumbo wasn't enough to stop a fat, balding, middle-aged and greasy italian man fueled by anxiety and rage, and I find this ultra hilarious?! This old-timey twink just got his shit rocked by an italian bear and was then disposed of by a ressurrected John, Team Rocket style?! And I absolutely love it and I'll cherish this information forever and ever?!?

Also, this remix of Unexpectancy, Part 2 FUCKS immensely:

[kyeterna]

Very long post explaining whether i could win in a fight against (a portion of) my oc's or not.

Every iteration of my sona Kyeterna (even the csmp ones): I am getting my ass beat, especially by Mordei, next-

Renacinis: I would never raise a hand against this angel, even if held at gunpoint

Jau: I am sent to the ER

Emi: I can probably beat that nerd. Maybe.

Katsuo: Yes.

Dom: I am beating that twink up, they have no chances against me

Damon: In terms of pure physical strength, I think we would be equal, so hard to tell. And the fact that he is smart and annoying could swing the favour either way.

Ropho: I could NEVER hit a child, even if it is a robot. So I am getting my ass beat.

Nannybot: I am losing. 100%

Veronica: I would never raise my hand against a woman. No don't look at the previous nor the following entries-

Nick: Can I beat a 27 year old tired salaryman? I mean to be fair I could probably just intimidate him by my glare, I have done that to a man twice his age and size

Cassidy: her? yeah. The eldritch being that follows her around? NO.

Savantha: I would love her to beat me up. But she wouldn't do it. She's too kind. But she could. I would love her to. But she w-

Carrots: that kid is giving me rabies during the fight. Could i defeat them? Sure, but with all those bites I am definitely contracting a disease so who is the real winner here.

Noxatra: I am destroying her. Even if she uses magic I am so destroying her both mentally and physically. Bro's built like a twig, I will snap her in half

Irene Chronidi Star Team: I am so losing. It's so over.

Yvhris: I think I could take her. But she is sooo cute, I'd rather just hug her

K.A. (Universe Building Tutorial): Hahah she has no chance of winning against me

Dennis (UniBTut): a close call, but he does defeat me in the end.

Kali (UniBTut): I would gladly do it.

Gondeil Aspirations

Caroline: I am so dead

Rei: I lose, but we could become great friends in the process so do I really lose?

Leo: I wanna say I would beat his ass but no, I am losing unless he decides to be too silly and gets himself into an accident mid fight, defeating himself.

Mary: I am so dead

actually I am losing against all the characters in Gondeil Aspirations there is no point in continuing this list-

Impossible Wish

Ikaros: in the beginning of the story? Yeah. By the end? NOOOOOOOOOO

Iliana: I am lucky if I even survive all the burns I am getting

Syphos: in a physical fight absolutely, but he would find a way to put me in tons of debt to loansharks without my knowledge so like I am losing in life.

Claire: I am so beating her ass, nerd.

Charis: I am NOT surviving those burns

Shindag: I die from a heart attack before the fight even starts because of how intimidating he is

Search Party of Four

Dimitra: I AM DEFEATING THIS NERD GLORIOUSLY

Kassandra: I am leaning towards no, mostly because she could probably compell me to give up and then she'd punch me, knocking me out

Roza: She will break bones of mine

Lucy: I am running towards her to throw the first punch. From a car passing by, a banana peel is thrown right in front of my feet. "That is weird" I think and widen my step just enough as to not step on it. Little did I know that right where i was about to step was a puddle of oil on marble. My foot slips, I lose my balance and do a split. That damages my muscles as I am not flexible enough. The sudden surge of pain causes me to faint, hitting my head on a very conveniently placed glass box, causing it to break and cut my face badly. Lucy has not moved at all from the beginning, as she is watching me terrified.

Ioanna: I win

Clients from Hell:

I will be 100 emoji with you, I am beating the asses of every single human lawyer there. I stand no chance against any angel or demon. I rest my case

Exokosmoi:

I can probably beat those two nerds (<- a fool)

Cards Swords and Cups:

If magic is allowed to be used, I lose, if not, I can beat everyone there. Ok maybe not Helen, she is kind a physically strong... But like Marjorie has no chance against these hands.

[altblock-tm]

Give me a cursed alphabet of OC lore.

Let it be known that all of this is come up off the top of my head and will likely be very crackheaded but. oh boy.

Ass: It doesn't happen often but sometimes I have characters that are caked up. CEO (the gal in my pfp) happens to be one of them

Bastard: My villain OCs. Notably Thirio, Assourdi, and Bi.

Cringefail: Outlander. He's dramatic and proud and petty but I love to shake him like a wet rag

Demon: Plenty of OCs! Like previously, the Outlander. Also Dr. Kruger and Rynne have been demonically influenced... though I might change the lore on that.

Eldritch: A good amount of OCs are eldritch gods. Thirio, Nova, Attakai and many more.

Flirtatious: since I'm an aroace loser I don't have many flirty OCs, but Zerie kinda hits the mark

Girlboss: Not my OC but SHOUTOUT TO @corrupted-tale's character Pix. She's my honorary blorbo and 100% is a girlboss

Hairless: LIKE TO SLAP NOVA'S BALD HEAD REBLOG TO SLAP THIRIO'S BALD HEAD

Introverted: So many of them. Zerie is introverted around people he doesn't know well

Jacked up: Hare looks like a twink but he's actually pretty muscular

Kissable: robot tv head OC Dislan is so so nice. give him a lil' smooch.

Laid-back: Zerie's chill most of the time!!! Most. of the time.

Maidenless: THIRIO GETS NO BITCHES

Nameless: Switch lost his true name :)

Optimistic: Benji!! lil' guy has so much hope for the world. you go dude.

Paranormal: How could I not mention the ghost mama Jaide? She's nice despite being very much dead

Queer: Literally all of them. It's not even intentional. The asexual radiation gets to them

Rizzed up: Suza knows how to flirt, if given the chance.

Short: I project on my OCs so a lot of them are short like me. Rynne and my sonas especially

Testosterone: Quint is an absolute himbo of a Man. what does he look like? Man. like. Man shaped. I'm not sure how best to describe it. He's just a Man.

Underrated: Narrator and Brittlebrine, some of my newer ones. I need to think about them more.

Vanilla extract

Wise: Nova was well-renowned to be the wisest and kindest being out there. Before he died y'know.

Xosi: Xosi's just an actual oc. best boy. I also need to think about him.

Yassified: Hare gets progressively more and more confused about his gender throughout his arc and gets some nice clothes at the end

Zestful: Levi, as a little kid, was a little bundle of energy! Before he died y'know.

[eonian-nightmare]

XD inserting sexy man info for friend. Prepare for rant xD (Love you) (there's 2 parts to this)

Firstly, cecil isnt human.

Thats where i think the confusion has come between fandoms. The human design is a fandom interpretation, we do not have a Canon design. All descriptors we have of cecil point him to being a very non human entity. And I think that's why the voters laughed and started going He's therefore in comedic sense the most iconic sexyman, because technically we have no idea what he looks like. It's why the picture voting for him in the poll was just the show logo.

The fandom interpretation of his tho, how does that compete?

Well, that does depict him as somewhat humanoid, but id say in the same sense of most monsters. He's seen as a reflection, the literal mirrored image of another character, he's also often depicted with 3 eyes, engulfed in tentacles and covered in tattoos. Not really conventionally attractive

Secondly, from my understanding, tumblr sexyman, its not so much about not being sexy, its about not being what normal people find attractive.

Lets face it, tumblr is full of kinky bastards, and every sexy man has a large following who generally believe they're attractive. I'll use Jonah Magnus/Elias bouchard as an example, since I know my friends are aware of his infamy.

Elias is the biggest known sexyman in the TMA fandom. But like cecil he doesn't have a Canon look. We can draw Elias completely humanoid Or we can draw him full monster mode, covered in eyeballs, floating in the pupil of the watcher, etc. But regardless, people simp over him. But it's not because of his physical description. Tbh, if Elias wasn't revealed to be the villian/ an eldritch being, he probably wouldn't be on the list. Because he'd just be a normal old man ceo, And tumblr doesn't find that sexy.

But he got added to the list because of how he's represented, and the fact that normal people don't find him sexy. But we still have the fandom simp over him, we still find his voice very attractive, we find his powers and monster for attractive. But normal people wouldn't.

But these characters are still sexy, even if not to some.

Hence my point of the rant, just like Elias, both Sans and Cecil wouldn't be considered sexy by normal people. Sans is a literally skeleton, and cecil is an immortal eye being consumed by tentcles. None are sexy in their own right, but their fandoms have made them sexy. You can find equal amount of monsterf*cking p*rn about both of them, same as slash fiction, and just erotic art.

The erotic side of it is very occ, and it's hard to see that behaviour existing in Universe, but the fan on description is what drives it.

Elias is a boring ass ceo in Canon, but the fandom made him a twink. The oncler is hardly a fashion diva/ sex icon, but the fandom made him that way etc.

Anyway, imma stop typing cause I'm going on a tangents. But I hope it sheds some light on why cecil is being treated how he is.

"Cecil isn't a Tumblr sexyman"

Do you know any fucking Tumblr history?

Welcome to Night Vale was supposed to perform at Dashcon. They were one of the first fandoms on Tumblr, appearing with The Oncler and Bill Cipher. Cecil is canonically gay with a HUSBAND. He was the first character to have the eye motif. Almost all the art had him with fucking tentacles. He is iconic.

Also, have you heard his voice? That man is sexy as fuck.

[linddzz]

Pitch Black for the ask meme bc I'm forever on my rotg bullshit

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character: THE OG! THE BASTARD THAT STARTED IT ALL! My first fanfic was because I didn’t like how anyone else was writing him at the time. He is still probably one of my favorite villain characters tbh. He’s got the classic Bad Guy vibe with evil laughs and a killin aesthetic but just adding all the potential for ancient eldritch personification of fear in the shadows???? Chefs kiss. So much cool shit was done with him in fandom because of that. But he’s also a goofy fuck??? He tells stupid jokes and he sasses and we must never forget the prancing around on the globe like a big fucking nerd.  And then the angst potential. The reveal that he’s also a lonely miserable motherfucker who is largely acting up to get attention and make people notice him. He’s manipulative but I like interpreting him as also being fully sincere and never really lying because that makes it so much more interesting.  Later learning about the book Kozmotis backstory??? Making Pitch into the end result of a formerly noble hero character being taken over and fully corrupted by cosmic darkness??? AMAZING. INCREDIBLE. EXACTLY MY SHIT.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Jack Frost. (Who uh, just to be clear for newer kids, bc of his voice I always took as “twink who died between 18 and 25″ since if I remember right no one could find an official age for movie Jack??) I mean, you got the Cold and Dark dynamic that even Pitch tries to appeal to. You can also go into fun often has a bit of fear going on. They’re two immortals who know what it’s like to be totally ignored, overlooked, and invisible while being increasingly desperate for some sort of recognition. They can take each other in a fight and GOD I always loved Pitches legit batshit GLEE when Jack hands his ass to him and hes all like OH YEAH SHIT GOT INTERESTING AGAIN. I also am a person who loves me some unhealthy obsession in my fiction ships and Pitch immediately going “IF YOURE NOT GONNA BE MY FRIEND YOU’RE GONNA BE NO ONES FRIEND!!!!” just made my Hot Problematique Content senses perk right the fuck up. Scissor Sisters “I Cant Decide” is MY SONG for them ok like they just got that MOOD. Even in my more uh, mutal and balanced version of them (aka Evil Boyfriends) I see any relationship with Pitch getting full on codependent and obsessive and contentious. But even with all Dark Vibes there’s that fun aspect to them both! There is so much potential for stupid shenanigans and jokes and mischievous idiocy right alongside the dark nightmare shit and god I love that dichotomy.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him and Sandman have a two-sides-of-the-same-coin balance dynamic that is so great to explore. I also have an AU where Pitch is less Absolute Villain and more of a like, weird asshole antagonist who is still Part of Their World and anyway him and Toothiana get together to have tea parties where they talk shit and act like passive aggressive PTA mom frienemies.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Fandom made him too nice. Just. In general. I also got a lot of flack in the height of fandom for saying that without a LOONNNGGGG redemption arc and likely a bit of reverting back to Kozmotis, Pitch as he is in the movie isn’t really made for “healthy and wholesome romantic relationship”

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I only kinda read the books but man i would KILL for that Kozmotis backstory presented as an adult sci-fi/fairytale. Give me space fantasy and noble knights and really digging into that “how much of the old man is in there still” nightmare potential.

my OTP: I pretty much put my blackice manifesto right up there already

my cross over ship: Shrug

a headcanon fact: Pitch doesn’t remember his old life but his personality is pretty much unchanged, but twisted up. He still sometimes gets set off and almost triggered by things that hit on Kozmotis trauma, but he has no idea why and those instances freak him out a little bit. He dances around a lot and if he wasn’t so fucked up by his growing isolation and need for vengeance he would probably be a great non-evil overall harmless antagonist who just likes stirring shit up for shits and giggles and (other peoples) screams.

[creepyimagines]

Me Rating the Creepypasta's and Marble Hornets Characters based on Fan Interpretation and content of character

《《 Because im original like that. Long-ish post warning.

Lemme know if you want a part 2 bc I can't do all the popular creepypasta's in one post》》

Jeff the Killer~ 6/10

Buff asshole who you wished you hated. Got some style to him, longer hair you dont see often. Interpreted as punk rock and I love that. -4 points for being emo

BEN Drowned~ 8/10

Love this boy. I love Legend of Zelda, especially Majora's mask, but that has nothing to do with this rating scale. He's always drawn and written as a punk-y gamer and lemme tell you when I said "mood" I meant "kin". But yeah glitchy aesthetic, cool ass tunic, and a short king. -2 points for age discourse :/

Eyeless Jack~ 9/10

Demon man go brrrr

but in all honesty, I can't find much wrong with him. Loner wolf style but medical genius, has some humor, but the tongue headcanons get weird. Love his mask though. Blue is his color. Also, "bUfF deMon mAn tAke mE by tHe hANd leAd ME to The lAnd-"

Laughing Jack~ 2/10

Bastard clown. Do not like. Not a fan. Im sorry all the clown simps for follow me. Keeps 2 points for being a weird and pretty original character all around. His goth clown aesthetic is pretty killer but I Do Not Like.

Jane the Killer~ 11/10

Crispy, iconic lesbian out for revenge. I cannot and will not go into more detail because she's perfect the way she is. Next.

Nina the Killer~ 4/10

We do be loving simps, but she's just a bit.... Eh. I love how the fandom reclaimed her and I absolutely adore her scene aesthetic, I just cannot get over the whole Jeff Simp thing. so -6 points for bad taste

Slender~ 8/10

Tired eldritch father trying to keep his homicidal kids alive. He tries his best and he hates his job. -2 points for not having a "Best Boss D A D" Mug.

Im not bothering with the other slender brothers sorry

⚠️MARBLE HORNETS SPOILERS⚠️

The Operator~ 5/10

Not exactly slendy in the sense you'd think but the more Marble Hornets centered fandoms interpretation of him. I personally like him as he's a force of nature that has no care of human emotions or lives. He is manipulative and power hungry. A good villian. -5 points choosing Alex to corrupt.

Alex~ 8/10

Craft bastard. I like his character for a few reasons. None of which I'll get into now but might later some other time. Fandom portrays him as some kind of mastermind and I love that no matter what. -2 points for incel vibes

[Lolol THE funniest thing to me is Joseph canonically saying, "Ah yeah, Alex fucks." on a stream]

Tim~ 10/10

College dude with PTSD just trying to have a normal life. He never got the ending he DESERVED but the fandom is merciful and so many fix-it fics exist. Tim is absolutely 100% a wonderful character.

Masky~ -100/10

WHAT HAPPENED DURING THAT TIME WHEN EVERYONE COLLECTIVELY WENT "OH YEAH HED A TWINK" AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING???

Brian~ 3/10

Hes baby but everyone likes to forget that he's also bastard who can and has taken Alex down. He might not have been in co-con but he buff boy.

Hoodie~ 5/10

[siezure mention TW]

Bastard man who everyone loves. But the more cp part of the fandom is like "UwU he's quiet shy boy" forgetting that yeah he almost shot Alex and yeah he broke into Tim's home to steal his pills and watch him seize, knowing it would happen. But I digress. Still a complicated character that I do like.

Jay~ 8/10

My analysis on him is too extensive, excuse me while I go die. -2 for being dead but also Skully?

[melody-pendras]

are the avatars of fear good at kissing?: boys edition

jon sims: listen. i love jon dearly but i really think the only appeal of kissing him would be if u were head over heels in love with him already. or if you are morosexual. which i suppose would be a prerequisite for being in love with him. 10/10 but only if you’re martin blackwood

elias bouchard/jonah magnus: i firmly believe elias sucks at kissing. “wait!” you say. “but that stupid old slut had tons of gay lovers!! the letters prove it!!” well… he had plenty of admirers, sure, but the most flirtatious thing in the letters was calling him “beloved” not anything explicitly gay such as “i enjoy kissing you” (not least because nobody with taste has ever said that to elias in their life). i think he had lot of homoerotic friendships which he never did anything about because he knows in reality he kisses like he learned it from a textbook. 1/10 i hate him

peter lukas: he is an avatar of the lonely which is literally all about isolation and in many ways is the opposite of kissing. cannot imagine he is very good at it. i think the only reason why him & elias periodically get married is bc elias knows nobody else is going to be dumb enough to believe hes a good kisser. 1/10 sorry gay people

mike crew: strikes me as being smooth/good at flirting if he wants to be, which is a plus. difficult to tell if the “electric spark” that’s happening between you is because he’s good at kissing and you’re having a good time or if it’s the terrifying eldritch powers from another world. either way i think you can count on him to leave you breathless 7/10

jared hopworth: i am not sure whether his geometry is conventional enough to really facilitate a normal kiss. this on its own wouldnt be a problem except i think he would try to steal your teeth. someone somewhere is probably still into that so 2/10 he can’t be worse than elias

trevor herbert: while he is a fun character i dont think he is great to kiss considering he is old and anyway unless youre a vampire he probably isnt interested. if he does think youre a vampire tho…. watch out 3/10

oliver banks: probably nice to kiss if youre into goths. not sure how much he is into relationships but can definitely see him as the type to do classic romance stuff like candlelit dinners or kissing in the rain. probably make sure youre in a semi isolated location so he doesnt get distracted with ominous visions. 8/10 basically the closest youll ever get to dating a sexy vampire

michael: man you guys really like to draw him as a sexy blonde twink huh? did i miss something is there any reason for that???? anyway. i think making out with him for any extended period of time would make you go numb/give you pins and needles however if youre in a public place and want to make out he can just open a door. so! pros and cons. 6/10 im scared u will all crucify me if i rate him lower

[rarepears]

#man#i've been thinking about this for a while#like a WHILE#damian doesn't know if he should hate or love jinwoo (the moment jinwoo whips out his animal!shadows he's gone)#tim is actually the last one to realize what's going on and he only realizes something is very wrong when damian is actually nice to him#ofc it wasn't 'his' damian. tim maybe hasn't slept for several days now but he knows there is something world ending wrong when-#-his little brother is actually and genuinely nice to him#cass is just vibing. she likes her new siblings (alternate and shadow ones)#duke tries not to think too much about it and just vibes with the whole thing. he's happy that bruce is happy#jason still tried to wrap his head around the fact that bruce is dating someone who doesn't hesitate to kill (but then he realizes that-#-jinwoo also can resurrect people which is basically a loophole in bruce's 'no killing' rule and can't help but question his sanity)#jason: and they call me the crazy one in this family#jinwoo is just glad that bruce and his kids like him and his kids. he has heard horror stories about step fathers and step families#man...#never have i ever loved crossovers more#bruce x jinwoo >>> via @arkhammaid

(Joker as one of Sung Jinwoo's summons... and Bruce's kids just have to learn how to deal with that fact. Plus the Joker is one of Beru's shadow buddies.

At least this means they can kill the Joker as many times as they want without Bruce being unhappy about killing?

For that matter, Sung Jinwoo ignores Bruce's "no killing" rule - guy never cared about such morals in the first place, lets be real - and gets around Bruce's upset by making them shadow summons, so they aren't really dead, right?)

Wow, that's a lot of tags... But there's more awesome tags to share:

#I'm now picturing Bruce's dimension league and kids panicking about him being missing#working hard to get him back#only for him to show up late worh starbucks a husband and clones of his kids#also imagine bruce putting trackers on everyone like this is an invasion of privacy but i can justify it for their safety#meanwhile sjw puts dozens of shaodw soldiers on their shadows without even blinking#they really are made for each other lol#omg beru would look at the mansion like this is what im talking about my liege#a proper fortification#alfred is too dignified to complain about the smell or mess or to show it#but on the inside he's probably dying#how fast do you think the joker dies? cause like he looks wrong at sjws family 1 time and boom gone#red hood eat your heart out#all his careful plans out the window because some asian twink is an eldritch abomination#i wonder what the social media of both dimensions think#do they ship it or are they jealous? or both via @caranmerya

Imagine the media - Is this Bruce Wayne's midlife crisis? Marries young Asian twink that looks like he could have been a kpop idol? Conspiracy theory that Bruce Wayne married a single dad in hopes of adopting more kids? Plus theories about how single dad hooked up with a billionaire for the Money and maybe this guy had the brilliant plan all along by adopting all the kids that match Bruce's criteria (black hair, blue eyes).

Hm, does Sung Jinwoo have a Damian? In that world, did Talia even get Bruce's DNA for a kid? Or did she aim straight for Sung Jinwoo (and failed)? What's even up with Ra here? Is Igris going "oopsie" when Ra is found dead?

Bruce's kids are just shocked and overwhelmed at just How Bad With tech their counterparts are. They are like "WTF" and cannot comprehend such a thing.

Sung Jinwoo's kids have a lot more diverse experiences - lots of extracurriculars, traveling around the world (and galaxy cough) to go sightseeing with their dad, and more. They don't really have much free time to be gaming or being on the internet - there's so many cooler things to do.

This is like internet addicted kids meeting... normal kids.

Things are weird.

[More in #where in Batman stumbles upon a universe where Sung Jinwoo adopted his kids AU]

It’s Thanksgiving! So in the spirit of American thanksgiving, I would like to thank @arkhammaid for being such an awesome friend and mutual and give another plotbunny to you:

Batman gets thrown into another dimension...

And in this dimension, all his children were adopted by another rich black hair man who saves the world on a weekly basis. What's even stranger is that this billionaire is not someone he's familiar with at all.

He doesn't know how to feel about this. Why isn't this world's version of Bruce Wayne aka Batman their father? What happened? But that's not so important questions to ask. What is more important is making sure that this unknown male is treating this dimension's version of his kids well.

And thus begins Batman's (futile) attempts to stalk one Sung Jinwoo while he waits for JLA to find him and beam him back to his home dimension.

[glowstickk]

i wish to know... about your zimverse ocs... they seem pretty neat...

anon u GOT IT i’ve been wanting to talk abt the gang for so long!!!!! when i saw this ask i lost my marbles!!! knowin that someone is actually interested in these guys makes me so happy!!! so!! here they are!!!  also!! apologies that it took me so long to actually answer, i wanted to be able to say all of the lore for lizzie (who hadn’t had her chara arc in rp at the time) and by the time i got her arc done i ran flat outta spoons nbfkgb,, but i got my spoons back and whipped up a few lil pictures to go with this so hopefully that makes up for it!!! oki here we go!! under a cut because talking about five separate charas is gonna get long ndfjkv

ZAPPELINE VOLTAIRE

she/he/they | genderfluid | somewhere between 25-37 y/o zap is basically my main character! she used to be a scientist who worked on interdimensional research, more specifically what the theoretical effects of interdimensional travel/portals would be on the human body and the safety of all of that. at one point the lab she worked at lost funding, but she decided to fuck around there before it got demolished because why not! she did a few experiments on herself, including changing her natural hair color and making it so that she could see an extra color. the latter of which did not work out entirely as planned, because the rods in her eyes didn’t grow in quite right. so! now she has red-green colorblindness in her right eye, and something similar to tritanomaly in her left, which is why she wears those funky glasses!

gonna be honest, i’m still working on a way to properly explain the next bit without it getting super boring or incomprehensible, but tdlr the new colors corresponds to a wavelengths that interdimensional rifts emit, so now she can see interdimensional rifts! she noodles out a way to build an interdimensional portal using some leftover notes from one of her co-workers, and jumps through! she ended up getting too excited about the portal and forgets to make sure it’s stable, and it ends up collapsing the second she gets through. so now she’s stuck in the multiverse! fun! after a bit of dimension-hopping, mad science, and the entire plot of polychrome (a game concept im workin on!!), she lands herself in zimcon!

SPARKPLUG VOLTAIRE

he/they | nonbinary | 5 y/o

sparkplug was originally built by zap to be her impulse control! this did not work! for context, zap used to be a really shitty supervillain before zimcon, so i kinda made sparkplug to be her sidekick/henchman? but in the way that’s like, supervillain is really nice and respectful to their “underlings” and basically treats them as equals and as friends, because i love that trope so fucking much. the original joke was “haha the supervillain has pack-bonded with the box!” but then the box turned into a kid and well! here we are. eventually after just. existing for a while they developed their own personality, and pretty much just became a regular kid! they arrived at zimcon as a box, but later on they end up asking zap for an astroboy-style body! as of writing this they haven’t gotten it yet, but that’s just because the rp’s kinda on pause right now. i do wanna say tho i have a special lil bit of art for it ready that hopefully yall will enjoy!!

ELIZABETH VOLTAIRE

she/her | cis (ew) | 4 years younger than zap

god just. i hate elizabeth! i really do. she’s another version of zap who is basically just an evil boomer who can’t even be fun or dramatic about it. in polychrome, she takes over as the big bad of the game. i feel like she works a lot better in polychrome just because that’s what she was made for, tbh. she and zap used to work together at one point, but due to a lot of arguing, many disagreements and some other Events(tm), started hating each other. she’s literally no fun at all and i can’t really expand upon her all that much without going into spoilers territory so that’s about it for her.

LIZZIE VOLTAIRE

she/they | trans gal | 745-748 y/o

lizzie is a ghost! she’s an alternate version of zap that died before she could ever leave her home dimension. after she died, she was quite literally chained to her death spot for over 700 years. when she died though, she was given a contract that said she could be freed if she got someone to sign it, the person signing it would be able to have her do whatever they want, but once she finished the task she could be free. if the person signing felt that she wasn’t doing a good enough job, they could rip up the contract and she’d be sent back to her death spot. it sounds bad, but it was all she had so she tried her best to get someone to sign! unfortunately though, in the few months where there were still people around, she hadn’t been able to figure out how to get herself to be visible again. just before she figured that out, the world underwent some kind of apocalypse, and all the people were wiped out. so she had no choice but to just kinda sit there and vibe for 700 years.

that is until elizabeth came along! liz signs her contract, and lizzie starts working as a henchman for her. the elizabeth arc happens (which is basically elizabeth helps lizzie possess zap and tells her to erase the con members’ memories, she does this, people are pissed, lizzie gets knocked out of zap’s body, zap dies, comes back, and beats the shit out of elizabeth and later sacrifices her to a crab) and liz decides to send her back for not doing a good enough job. so she goes back to her death spot, and after a night’s stay makes a deal with an eldritch blonde twink to gain her freedom.

REGINALD SPECTER

he/him | agender | a few thousand years probably (boomer)

bastard!! bastard man!! reggie is the one responsible for lizzie’s (and a few other peoples’) death(s). he has a job in the underworld which is basically just “take care of this huge monster that eats parts of people’s identity.” he found that feeding it souls worked best, so instead of finding lost souls he just decided it’d be easier to get some new ones. in order to kill people without getting caught, he disguises all his murders as accidents. lizzie’s happened to be a falling stage light that hit her on the head real hard. it’s not a cool or fun death and it makes her real mad ndjvkdf

lizzie was left there for so long because reggie pretty much just forgot about her. he left her the contract to give her some form of hope, which would keep her from fading away completely, but she was chained there so he could come back when he remembered. when liz signed her contract he got some sort of notice about it, and decided to come back to lizzie later for some shits and giggles. when they met up, he told her if she could find a soul to trade he’d give her her freedom. she accepts, and picks zap to trade, hoping that getting rid of her would help her earn liz’s approval (it didn’t). zap gets sent to this weird hell maze, and when a few others get in the way they get sent there too. lizzie eventually gets talked down from sending more and more people to the hell maze, and she lets them out. she’s tired of hurting people, and wants to give helping others a try! at the moment, reggie isn’t aware that lizzie let them out of the maze (and thus, isn’t gonna give him a soul to trade). if he finds out it’ll be bad, but for now she’s just vibing and trying her best to be nice!

reggie’s very much inspired by hate and dial from tpoh, and a lot of lizzie’s story is inspired by my personal theories on blondie/rgb’s death!! its basically “how many tpoh references can i cram into this: the arc.” it’s unbelievable the amount of shit i was allowed to get away with with nobody calling me out nfjdkvsf

aaaand that’s kinda it!!! i tried my best to make this short and readable, i wrote up something else earlier that was a LOT longer and im much more happy with this version. and if something i said doesn’t make sense or anyone wants to ask anything about these guys or polychrome id be more than happy to answer!!!! thank you so much for reading!!!! <3!!