#I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS TO MY MAIN SDKJHKERTJKDFGK

[melody-pendras]

are the avatars of fear good at kissing?: boys edition

jon sims: listen. i love jon dearly but i really think the only appeal of kissing him would be if u were head over heels in love with him already. or if you are morosexual. which i suppose would be a prerequisite for being in love with him. 10/10 but only if you’re martin blackwood

elias bouchard/jonah magnus: i firmly believe elias sucks at kissing. “wait!” you say. “but that stupid old slut had tons of gay lovers!! the letters prove it!!” well… he had plenty of admirers, sure, but the most flirtatious thing in the letters was calling him “beloved” not anything explicitly gay such as “i enjoy kissing you” (not least because nobody with taste has ever said that to elias in their life). i think he had lot of homoerotic friendships which he never did anything about because he knows in reality he kisses like he learned it from a textbook. 1/10 i hate him

peter lukas: he is an avatar of the lonely which is literally all about isolation and in many ways is the opposite of kissing. cannot imagine he is very good at it. i think the only reason why him & elias periodically get married is bc elias knows nobody else is going to be dumb enough to believe hes a good kisser. 1/10 sorry gay people

mike crew: strikes me as being smooth/good at flirting if he wants to be, which is a plus. difficult to tell if the “electric spark” that’s happening between you is because he’s good at kissing and you’re having a good time or if it’s the terrifying eldritch powers from another world. either way i think you can count on him to leave you breathless 7/10

jared hopworth: i am not sure whether his geometry is conventional enough to really facilitate a normal kiss. this on its own wouldnt be a problem except i think he would try to steal your teeth. someone somewhere is probably still into that so 2/10 he can’t be worse than elias

trevor herbert: while he is a fun character i dont think he is great to kiss considering he is old and anyway unless youre a vampire he probably isnt interested. if he does think youre a vampire tho…. watch out 3/10

oliver banks: probably nice to kiss if youre into goths. not sure how much he is into relationships but can definitely see him as the type to do classic romance stuff like candlelit dinners or kissing in the rain. probably make sure youre in a semi isolated location so he doesnt get distracted with ominous visions. 8/10 basically the closest youll ever get to dating a sexy vampire

michael: man you guys really like to draw him as a sexy blonde twink huh? did i miss something is there any reason for that???? anyway. i think making out with him for any extended period of time would make you go numb/give you pins and needles however if youre in a public place and want to make out he can just open a door. so! pros and cons. 6/10 im scared u will all crucify me if i rate him lower