#I love this country but I am a foreigner and I am weird

[gemstarstarlight]

Be praying for me, y’all. It’s been a rough week. Basically the job I was hoping would let me be in Korea long term said I wasn’t ready for it yet and a lot of the stuff they brought up are either anxiety things (I’m working on it), ADHD things (again, working on it, but this one’s a bit more permanent), and some personal life choices and interpretations that flow from those things (which I’m not backing down on thank you).

I’ve locked onto a Halsey song and been having it stuck in my head and that is Not A Good Sign Mental Health Wise.

[freedarick]

I am cardless starting this month. Can't pay for shit online anymore :(

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

The final part for The House of Glass! Everyone has a lot to figure out, but progress takes time. Follows from this. This was my first ever complete comic from start to finish, I hope you guys enjoyed the journey!

If you've enjoyed this comic, please consider donating to Aya Yasser, a 19 year old university student from the University of Palestine. She had to pause her studies due to attacks on Gaza. Her 55 year old father is ill and she is trying to evacuate him and her brothers.

You can find her blog @samaagaza

It's like two in the morning right now so I might be a bit incoherent, cw for discussions of racism, homophobia, biphobia, sinophobia and classism

I've really wanted to write Chang as someone who's made to be a perpetual outsider. As a Chinese person born in the UK I've always been made to feel like a foreigner no matter where I go - obviously I am a foreigner abroad but I'm also treated as such in the very country I was born and raised in. I think a lot of east Asian people can relate to being treated as a strange exotic foreigner first and a person second.

As a working class orphan he would probably have been treated as disposable by society at large too. As soon as he's rescued by Tintin in the Blue Lotus he immediately asks why Tintin bothered saving him, and in his letter to Tintin in Tintin in Tibet he writes that he's unworthy of his uncle's hopsitality. We don't get much from Chang as he doesn't make many appearances but it seems he's internalised strong feelings of a lack of self worth. Tintin may have been the first person to recognise his humanity since Chang's birth family passed.

Being queer is also very isolating at first. You're not born into a culture you can reference or make sense of your experiences initially, it's something you have to seek out. I wanted to explore learning to love yourself through others. We're all weird to some degree, we're all in this together!

I genuinely have no clue how I'd follow this up, I have ideas for future stories but I'm not sure what would follow directly from here!

[crystalflygeo]

Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Slave!Omega!Dragoness!Reader-

cw/tags: mentions of slavery and past sexual abuse on fem!reader, A/B/O dynamics, mating bites, fingering, scenting, pet names, zhongli has a knot and alpha fangs and is not afraid to use them lmao, some nip and clit stimulation ig?? emotional roller coaster ngl.

notes: So remember a loooong time ago when I held a poll and one of the options was "dragon" and it WON?? well actually it was this, (dragon READER heh) it just got WAY out of control. 5.6k words and now I wanna make it into a whole series //head in hands// anyway ye have this weird lil funky AU I poured my sweat blood and tears into (also my heart and soul) idk why I am just so attached I love it so much plsss I have ideas fot other scenes with them already aaaaaaaaa <3

Partially inspired by some of @silentmoths' fics holy shIT I LOVE DRAGON READER AND I LOVE OMEGAVERSE NOD IF YOU AGREE!!

Last but not least if y'all wanna be part of my pinglist uhh I'm making one now so :3c

Part 2 ->

Strange yellow leaves fall around you all over the courtyard…

“Fix your clothes, you have to look appealing… well, as appealing as a creature like you can be.” The voice of your Master calls out harshly, pulling and tugging at details in your outfit. It was a flimsy and silky thing, mostly see-through, rather elegant, but very revealing.

You’re used to it.

“And stop looking so miserable! You better smile and please this Alpha. He’s not just anyone, you know?”

You nod meekly, trying to hide the slight trembling on your body. This will be just another bonding attempt. Nothing else.

It will fail. Just like all the others before.

Silver chains clink and tug the collar at your neck, it shakes you back to the present as you stumble forward.

Master guides you through a maze of corridors, with sleek surfaces of dark wood, decorative lanterns and paper screens. They’re strange, covered in even stranger symbols that look nothing like the ones back in the desert. Your bare feet, used to rough hot sand, now walk along polished wood with your draconic tail dragging behind. Everything looks so lavish…

You’ve been brought all the way to Li- Liu-… Li-yue? A foreign country, to meet a potential client. Well, a client to your Master. You are just the merchandise: a dragonblood Omega. Rare, unique even, “exotic”.

But defective.

Your fists clench in nervousness. How rough will this Alpha be with you? You dread to find the answer. Alphas were cruel, ever since you remember you’ve been taught to please, be gentle, obedient and look pretty, but they were never any of those things. Alphas just took their pleasure and used your body as they wanted, usually until you were crying and screaming, begging for mercy. You just hope this Alpha would give you some pity and be quick… or give you time to rest in between attempts.

Though you had learned since long that your wishes don’t tend to come true.

What a disappointment. After I spent so much money and resources on you.

Such a waste of time, what use is there in an Omega that can’t bond?

Why do I even bother with you? You’re just good for the reproduction camp. Maybe that way you can produce another dragonblood.

This is your last chance, mutt. If you fail again, I won’t be bothering with you anymore.

You feel anxiety creeping on your chest, heart jumping to your throat as the dark thoughts invade your mind. Last chance… your last chance at bonding. At proving you’re not useless and stupid. At serving your purpose as Omega. What was happening to you was fair. You deserve to be punished and you should be grateful you have one last chance after all your failures.

You just want to… to…

Tears prickle at your eyes and you breathe in deeply, trying to contain your distress and hugging your own tail, rubbing your face on the fluffy tip.

Whatever happens today, your fate is going to be sealed.

The nest room is nice.

Like the rest of the place, it is rather elegant, dimly lit with neutral colors and wooden walls, filled with pillows and blankets that had a very subtle flowery aroma to them. Small cabinets to one side with some decorative objects on top and a full-length mirror on the other side. So much different from the barren cold stone walls and tents from the desert camps.

“Hm, pretty fancy.” Master says taking off your collar, your soft unblemished neck now on display, free from any claim. “Now…” He pulls at your hair and you wince, whining and lowering your ears on a submissive display. He wouldn’t hurt you right? You have to look pretty. “The emperor will be here shortly. Make sure to do anything and everything he wants. And you better smile, I told you.”

“E-Emperor?” You pale, eyes widening.

He scoffs and pushes you back, you stumble back into the mess of pillows. “That’s right. I don’t know why but he was very adamant to see you it seems. Perhaps he just wants the prestige of owning the last known dragonblood, hm? Another novelty for his collection, I’m sure. You should consider yourself really lucky. So…” He flashes his Alpha fangs at you with a growl and you whimper again, cowering. “I would suggest you do your best and don’t disappoint this time, he’ll pay a pretty penny for you.”

And with that he leaves, muttering something and almost slamming the strange sliding door.

And so, you’re alone.

Immediately your brain goes into overdrive. An emperor? You had been presented to various Alphas of high status before, wealthy merchants and high-ranking tribe members, but this… this was probably a whole other level.

An emperor had to have an empress, right? Someone of noble birth and high status such as himself, not a lowly sand lizard like you, with weird ears, scales, horns and a tail. Why would he want to see an Omega like you? Perhaps Master was right, he intended to keep you as a trophy in his collection, another pretty thing.

It was humiliating.

But anything was better than being doomed to the reproduction camp…

Maybe the emperor had a harem? You’ve heard of them before, some Alphas liked to boast having many Omegas bound to them. Living in this luxury, not having to worry about much anything except looking pretty and pleasing him once a while. Hell, maybe he wouldn’t even pay attention to you, you’d be just a glorified pet.

You could… do that.

Without noticing, your tail starts swaying after you, this could be a chance. Your chance. You just had to make him like you. Forget the bond. Don’t think about it. All you have to do is please him.

You start frantically arranging the sheets and pillows around, building the comfiest nest you ever had with all the extra material, scenting it with excited happy pheromones. You could do it, this was your chance.

You won’t fail this time. You’ll be pretty, obedient, submissive, the ideal Omega. You’ll let him use you to his heart’s content, sure you may be a little sore but it’ll be worth it if he chooses you. He won’t even care about the bond.

…Right?

You jolt when you hear the door slide slightly open again, your heart leaps to your throat as someone walks in.

Oh.

Is… he the emperor? … He’s handsome.

To be fully honest, you expected some fat pompous middle-aged man not this… perfect specimen of an Alpha.

Your tail sways a little with curiosity.

He looks only slightly older than you, tall, wearing elegant robes in brown and golden hues. His eyes are like a sunset: golden, warm, almost glowing. A red liner accentuating them. Long chocolate hair faded to amber at the tips. His scent was earthy and pleasant, subtle unlike most Alpha musk. Almost comforting and… familiar?

He seems to stare back at you with the same surprise, frozen for a moment, eyes slightly wide, he says something you can’t quite hear and it shakes you out of the spell. You suddenly feel a little self-conscious, curling your tail around you, ears down and resisting the urge to brush (hide) the scales at the corners of your eyes.

It occurs to you that you’ve been just staring like an idiot, you don’t know very well how to address him, nor know his foreign tongue. So, you simply lower your head in respect. “My Lord…”

You suddenly feel nervous. This is it.

You turn around, following the motions ingrained in your brain. Body splayed on the nest, arms tucked in, head down. Submissive, obedient. Your hands are shaking, you feel dizzy, heart thrumming in your chest, blood rushing in your ears.

You lift your butt just slightly, tail curling elegantly over your back, out of the way to expose the flimsy fabric covering your privates, properly presenting to the Alpha. You focus on trying to control your pheromones, letting out just whiffs of a needy sensual scent, worried of mixing in your anxiety and fear and displeasing the emperor.

You had to be pretty, enticing, compliant, and he would, h-he would…

A rather awkward cough has you tense. “There is… no need for that.”

You blink for a moment, taken aback at the rich deep baritone of his voice, so hypnotizing you almost don’t register his words. He speaks common tongue, but still, what does he mean? Isn’t this just… standard protocol for bonding? Isn’t he going to mount you?

You dare peek over your shoulder and see him sitting elegantly over his knees at the floor. He’s outside of the nest range.

He’s also slightly pink at the cheeks and pointedly avoiding looking at you.

Is this a trap? Is he testing you to see if you’ll misbehave? Your hands clench, nails digging at your palms, your breathing and heart increasing pace.

“I just want to talk, I promise.” He tries.

You hold the position.

He sighs, and then-

“Omega, relax.”

You almost squeak at the Alpha command. His voice, his will, seeps into your skin, your nerves, your very bones. You feel your muscles loosen up, tension leaving your body like a bowstring snapping and you lie on the sheets sideways.

Right right right, you’re tense, you have to be soft and pliant-

You look over at him and he’s… heading over to the little cabinets. He picks up a kettle of some kind and little cups that sit on the top, moving around calmly and elegantly as he seems to prepare something. Your head tilts and you gingerly sit up straight. Tail and ears down, curled up not unlike a wounded animal.

“Do you speak the common tongue?”

“Y-Yes!” You nod. “A little…”

“Good.”

The emperor seems… pleasant, he is calm and unguarded, so different from the cold intimidating Alphas you’ve met who like to show off, who immediately order you around. He even used an Alpha command on you but it felt… grounding. There is something equally eerie and entrancing about him and you feel yourself as much drawn to him as terrified of his imposing aura, and you couldn’t explain why. It’s a bit unsettling but also comforting at the same time.

He pours two cups and turns to you. You stiffen and he offers you one.

“Qixing tea is one of the most refined Liyue teas. It tends to be very bitter but this blend has a more pleasant taste, a little floral even. It is also said to help relax one’s mind.”

You carefully take the cup, not wanting to insult such gracious offer, though you’re utterly confused, shouldn’t you be the one serving him?

The cup is warm.

You stare at the golden liquid, small black dots sit at the bottom. This has no alcohol… right? It can’t be worse than snake wine at least.

You carefully take a sip, trying to imitate how the emperor is holding his.

It is… nice, a strong sharp taste but not bad, and very aromatic.

He’s looking at you expectantly and your tail and ears twitch. “I-It’s very good. Thank you, my Lord.”

He smiles and your heart skips a beat. “I am glad. Some say Qixing tea is for older people, but it’s frankly one of my favorites.” He stares at his cup with a somewhat nostalgic gaze, as if it brings him fond memories. “Ah, you can address me as Morax.”

You nod quietly and take another sip. Past the tea’s powerful flowery scent, you can now sense his Alpha pheromones, with him being so close and the air less tense. They’re strong but not overwhelmingly so, sharp and tantalizing, a refined foreign scent you can almost taste in the back of your throat. It stirs something in you, something warm and alluring.

“Do you know where were you born? Who are your parents?”

The question takes you by surprise for a moment as you shake out of your thoughts. Ah, he must be inquiring about your dragonblood. “I-I’m…. I’m not sure, my Lo- um… L-Lord Morax. As far as I know my mother worked at a-a heat house… no one knew who my father was and she passed away when I was very young.”

“I see… so you have no idea where you got your dragon traits from.” It was a sentence rather than a question and you shake your head meekly, taking another sip from the tea, ears lowering back.

“Apparently it could be due to recessive genes.” You once again repeat the same words you’ve heard all your life. You hate bringing attention to your dragon features, people either treat you like a rare exotic creature or a dangerous one. You didn’t know which was worse.

“Hmmm…” Lord Morax seems pensive for a moment, also drinking some of the tea. “Have you been with your caretaker for long?”

You look down. “Master has been in charge of me ever since I… p-presented as an Omega.”

“Does he treat you well?”

Your eyes widen, the question catching you completely by surprise. T-Treat you well? You are… treated like any other slave omega, if only being singled out by your draconic traits. He feeds you, he gives you clothing and education, he arranges the best matches he can for bonding, he even got you here in the first place. You owe him everything, you’re nothing without him.

So then… Why do you find yourself thinking back on all the harsh words, all the punishments, all the screaming and crying, all the… t-touches…

You gulp. “M-Master ensures I have the best living conditions and opportunities I can.” Is what you settle for.

He hums.

There is silence for a moment and lord Morax settles down his cup.

“I don’t think you’re aware of how special you are.”

Just when you thought he couldn’t surprise you anymore, he utters those words and makes your heart speed up.

Is this anxiety? Fear?

“Judging from what your Master has told me, you’re treated like quite the novelty, an exotic half-blood not unlike the Valuka Shuna or Kätzlein. Here in Liyue however those with traits like yours are called Xiānshòu.” The foreign word rolls off his tongue. His golden eyes fix on you and you freeze. “Also known as illuminated beasts. With immense power and longevity, even the half-bloods. They’re well respected and looked up to, why, some are even revered as deities...”

You? Such a fantastic creature? That can’t be…

“Seems to me like things are different in the deserts of Sumeru, however.” His eyes narrow and for the first time you notice his diamond pupils. They look like a snake’s. The same eerie glint he had a few minutes ago is back darkening the bright golden eyes. Yet, for some strange reason you don’t feel scared this time.

A shiver travels down your spine as you feel your instincts purr in delight. Protective… for some reason lord Morax is being protective of you. You don’t know why or how but you can feel it and it made your inner Omega preen inside. An Alpha wanted to protect you, care for you.

“Such a shame.” He adds, sounding almost disappointed but there is something darker underneath. Word simmering with… frustration? “You are such a lovely dragoness, worthy of every praise and prayer they’d sign in your name here.”

You’re very glad your cup rests at your lap, blushing furiously with trembling hands.

For the next few moments, he continued to ask some more questions. What you like or dislike, what you do in your free time, even something as innocuous as your favorite color. Time seemed to stretch into infinity as you grew a little more comfortable with your answers and the whole situation, as though you weren’t talking to an emperor, or even a potential master or Alpha but rather… someone who saw you for who you are.

You liked that. You liked him.

You wanted to stay with him.

You wished to-

“Alright, I think that’s enough. I will have a talk with your Master and we’ll settle things.” He stands up and dusts his attire a little.

Your breath stops.

He is leaving.

He is leaving.

Did you do something wrong? Didn’t he say he liked your appearance? Are you such a failed disgraceful omega? Your last chance at bonding. You didn’t even get to impress him. You want to call out to him, do something, anything. Panic rises in your chest, drowning you, freezing you. You can barely think, instincts screaming, begging, wailing in despair for him. This kind Alpha, this gentle, patient, imposing, majestic Alpha who’s too good for you and yet something deep inside you yearns for him…!

“I am very glad to have met you little xiānshòu.” A small smile tugs at his lips. Then, he turns and heads for the sliding doors.

So, you do the first thing that comes to your mind.

The empty cup falls from your hands, your footsteps thump loudly on the wooden floors, soft fabric clenches between your fingers.

As soft as the lips you crash yours onto.

…

It only lasts a few seconds but when you back just a little, ears low and tail curled up in apprehension, you realize what you did.

You’d kissed him, you’d kissed the emperor.

You’re shaking like a leaf, clinging to him for dear life. He stares at you with wide surprised eyes but you’d rather die right here for your insolence than live the rest of your days in regret.

His scent takes on an alluring hint to it and your inner Omega is overjoyed. Up so close it is almost irresistible. His face remains impassive, if a little tense, but you can see in his eyes something you identify very well… hunger, desire.

“Lord Morax… t-the nest… please.”

“Y-You don’t have to-”

“Please! Allow me to please you, allow me to show you…how…” You whisper against his lips, leaning in again as your eyes flutter close.

And suddenly his hands wrap around you and pull you close, cupping your face, curling at your waist, there’s something possessive in it and you feel slight vibrations as he growls deep from his chest against your mouth. But there is also something sweet, something delicate…

And for once, you want more. You want this.

How did you end up here? In the most beautiful nest you’d ever constructed, with the most handsome, kind, caring Alpha you’d ever met?

His kisses are deep and slow, completely unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. You lie on the soft sheets as he looms over you, exploring your mouth with an unhurried pace, hungry yet not forceful, letting you timidly do the same at your own pace.

This is nice…

His hands run along your body, caressing your skin through your flimsy attire. His touch curious but gentle.

“May I?” He asks, tugging at the fabric off your shoulder.

You shiver, at his voice, as the pure want in it, in his eyes, in his scent.

“Y-yes my lord…”

“Hmm…” His kisses trail down your jaw down to your neck as he starts pulling the garments off. Careful, instead of simply ripping them apart, your heart skips a beat. “If we’re going to do this, you can use my name and not just titles…”

Your top falls off and goosebumps litter your skin, nipples pebbled as one of his hands cups your breast.

“M-Morax…” You try, shakily, as if testing out the word alone on your lips.

“No, little one. Zhongli. That is my name.” He kisses down your shoulders, nipping at the skin.

“Ah!” Your tail flickers around and you purr.

You take the initiative to kiss him this time, and your hands start roaming his foreign clothes, fumbling with knots and pawing at the fabric. He chuckles at your frustrated whine. You want more, more of this feeling, more of him. To touch his skin, cover him in kisses, worship him.

(Show him what a good Omega you can be.)

No…

You want to make him feel good and please him.

Elegant fabric falls down discarded as he shakes off the layers of his top and you blink surprised. The fabric was bulky and covered up his figure. Lean but muscled, tantalizing like honey. You immediately latch onto him, nosing, scenting, nipping and kissing, feeling the faint outline of his abs and muscles twitch under your touch. He smells so good, he feels so good…

Your Omega instincts are starting to cloud your senses more and more.

Suddenly one of his hands gently squeezes a soft breast and you moan at the sudden touch “O-Oh!”

“You’re sensitive here, do you like this?” He asks, massaging your chest.

You whimper and nod frantically, tail wagging behind you. You had never been this responsive to having your chest played with, though then again, it was rare… but his sensual touches were quickly undoing you. Wetness pools at your gut and you rub your legs together.

Lord Mor- Zhongli… leans down then and something wet flicks over your nipple making you gasp, before warmth surrounds your nub. You cry out even louder. He sucks and laps at it and you instinctively tangle your hands on his hard dark hair, your legs wrapping around his waist.

You groan again, too many layers on the way.

“C-clothes… off, please!”

“As you wish, my dear dragoness.”

He continues squeezing, kissing, caressing and lapping at your skin, leaving a couple of hickeys along the way and teasing his Alpha fangs against you as his attention descends through your body once more, continuing his trail of kisses along your hip. His fingers dip down the waistband of your mesh pants and when you raise your hips to help, he pulls them down.

You’ve been naked in front of others more times than you’d like to count. But there’s something oddly intimate and special about this situation right now.

Your ears lower in apprehension, and your tail flicks by your side, resisting the urge to cover up. Lying down with your legs slightly spread around him. Already flushed, sweaty and panting.

“…You’re gorgeous.”

Huh?!

“I’m so lucky to have found you.” Zhongli nips at your hip. “So lucky that you want me too.” He kisses at your inner thigh.

Your breath hitches.

You’re the lucky one. Completely overjoyed that this Alpha likes you, desires you.

The first touch at your core has you mewling.

Zhongli strokes at your folds, still gentle, finding you soaked as your slick coats his fingers. Your body jolts and you moan “A-Ah!” He smirks against your thigh and nips there again as his fingers move in circles, teasing, testing, before moving to your clit. A finger pad stroking it just so, making your whole frame tremble, like every nerve in your body is being stimulated.

“Mngh- please!”

His fingers travel between your folds. First one sliding in rather easily, pumping steadily as you shudder in pleasure, and then two, making you writhe, bucking your hips against the touch, pushing them deeper, chasing that feeling.

Your body feels hot, too hot. Every sensation blocked except that warm wet feeling down there, in your new heaven. Your hands claw at the sheets, a pleasant fog setting in and you can feel yourself slipping into your most primal needs. But oh, oh, not like this.

You want him. Need him.

“You- y-you! please my lord!”

Something snaps in the Alpha’s eyes and Zhongli growls. Golden eyes dark, swallowed by lust and need and you whine when his fingers leave you. You vaguely hear rustling noises and before you can protest again, he pulls you up back on his lap and oh…

He’s big.

His erection stands proud between your bodies, rubbing against you and you shuffle impatiently, nuzzling against him.

Yes, yes…

Zhongli helps positioning you, gives himself a few strokes, and you feel his cockhead kiss at your entrance, you whine and stare at him rather confused. “L-Like this? B-But I have never- This is n-not how-”

He kisses your forehead, your nose, and pecks at your lips. “I can imagine this is very different from how they’ve taught you Alphas mount Omegas, but I my dear, intend to make love to you.” He whispers, hot breath fanning your cheeks as he nuzzles you, so close, so intimate. Your heart hammering wildly in your chest. “Like this you will have more control. I want you to relax, enjoy, my sweet dragoness.” He kisses at your cheek, down your jaw to your neck. “May I?”

You can feel your eyes water. No one had ever told you that. No Alpha had ever been this patient or even asked your permission before. Words die on your throat as you stare mesmerized at Zhongli. Grateful. Incredulous. Completely enamored.

You nod, and he guides you down.

It’s different like this. So much different.

You bite your lip and whine a little once you start to move, his hands hold your hips as you raise them and sink back down on his cock, inch by delicious inch. You feel… full, but warm, good. Your insides clench around him and he groans.

Oh… you could get used to this…

“Hah… ah! … m-my lord... I’m…” You feel dizzy but in a good way, your body tingles all over and it’s exhilarating, addicting.

He leans forward a bit, nosing at your collarbone, soft kisses tickle your skin and he… he’s almost purring in delight, inhaling your scent. “I told you, you can just call me by my name... Would you let me hear it?”

You buck languidly on his embrace, enjoying this…sensual experience, these new feelings and sensations. His tender closeness, his intoxicating pheromones, his deep baritone.

Him.

“Zhongli…”

His name comes out as a needy cry and he growls, Alpha pride clearly satisfied. His hands roam your body just enough to shift position and pull you even closer, hips rolling in tandem, picking up speed, his fangs grazing your shoulder.

Your head is swimming in pleasure, fuzzy like stuffed with cotton, small little “Ah… ah… ah!” moans punched out of you. You’re vaguely aware of your nails digging onto his skin but you can’t even stop yourself, you need to hold onto something, anything.  

Even your tail subconsciously curls around his ankle (and he doesn’t even seem to mind), like every cell of your body is screaming at you to hold onto him and never let go.

Zhongli’s own breathing comes out in harsh puffs and satisfied groans as he buries himself in you over and over, the sound of skin slapping on skin becomes more prominent.

And then, he hits a spot that has you seeing stars.

Your eyes snap open (when had you closed them?) Back arching as if struck by lightning and letting out a high-pitched moan. H-How did he do that?! What was that? You don’t remember ever feeling like this in previous bonding attempts.

“M-more?” You mewl in delight.

Zhongli looks at you with a satisfied smirk and it only fuels the fire in your belly.

“Gladly.”

That same wonderful feeling travels up and down your body again and again as your moans and whimpers rise in volume, calling his name over and over. Zhongli kisses you, deep and passionate. Whispers praises and sweet nothings on your flickering dragon ears. Touches you so soft and reverently. Your body feels so hot, your mind going blank, you can feel the base of his cock swelling with his knot and the familiar coil of pleasure tightening as you anticipate it, crave it, more intense and satisfying than ever before.

And just as you reach that high, his fangs sink into you.

You come with a squeal, body tensing, clinging onto him, clenching on him as he lets out a deep satisfied groan, knotting you. Wet stickiness coats your insides and thighs. And everything feels right, just right. Perfect even.

It takes a moment to come back to your senses, and it’s to Zhongli’s hands rubbing circles at your back comfortingly, while he laps and kisses at the bonding mark he left on you.

And then the high comes crashing down.

The bonding mark.

Tears well up in your eyes and start rolling down your cheeks, your tail uncoiling from him and curling around yourself protectively, ears down.

Please no… this can’t be…

Please stay…

Please.

Zhongli immediately notices your distress, in your actions and your scent, completely different altogether. His own instincts going wild at the lack of a happy sated mate scent. “Darling, what’s wrong? I’m sorry did it hurt that much? Did I… harm you in some way or did something wrong?” Oh, he sounds so genuinely concerned.

You shake your head desperately. Of course he hasn’t.

But you will.

Your body will. Betray you as always.

No bonding mark has stayed in your neck for longer than a few minutes. They all fade.

Just like the alphas that place them in you.

And then comes the anger, the guilt, the disappointment, the despair, the loneliness…

You can’t take it. Not this time.

“S-stay… please…” You sob.

Your voice sounds so broken, so weak and tiny, absolutely heart wrenching.

And Zhongli embraces you.

“I will, my dearest dragoness. I promise you.” He kisses one of your horns.

You want to believe him but you can only cry harder…

The room is dark as your eyes flutter open. It takes a few minutes to adjust and for your mind to catch up. Where are you…? You look around at the wooden walls, nestled in comfy sheets, you see some wooden cabinets and a tea set-

…!!!

You jolt awake, tumbling some pillows from your fancy nest. Your last chance at bonding. The emperor. He was leaving, and then…!

You slap a hand against the junction between neck and shoulder and feel something there, a bandage… you try to stare at it confused, though it’s impossible from the angle. And then fear consumes you. What if… it’s not there…?

Your body is still naked, though you have been covered with a thick fabric while sleeping, as it now pools at your lap, your Omega scent and that of an Alpha mixed together pleasantly, you turn around.

The Emperor. Lord Morax. Zhongli.

He sleeps peacefully by your side, on your nest, after having mated you.

He stayed.

You stare at his handsome features, fair skin, dark long hair, strong jaw, muscled arms. His lips slightly parted as he breathes evenly. So at ease.

You want to reach out and brush at his hair, touch his face, kiss him.

You want this moment to last forever.

Looking up slightly you see the large mirror, see yourself. A tiny thing, with freaky ears, horns and a tail.

It was… good, while it lasted. Almost like a dream.

Tears start falling down your cheeks again and you try to be as silent as possible as you pull and lift at the bandage in your shoulder. And there underneath it is… something?

Your fingers trace a mark, a wound, it stings and you hiss.

No way. There is no way.

Hope flutters in your chest, your stomach flips and you feel dizzy, nervous. A bonding mark? Is it real? Is it still there?

You shuffle out of the nest as fast and stealthily as you can, standing in front of the mirror. Hair a mess, eyes wide, pale in fear.

And there it is. The clear mark of an Alpha bite, still rather tender. A claim. A bond.

You start sobbing as you trace it, touch it, feel it. It must have been hours, there is no way…

It’s there, it’s there, for real. You want to laugh, to cry, you’re still nervous, scared, hopeful, happy, a million things at once.

But how? Why now?

“Hnng… darling? Are you crying again?” You stiffen as you hear the voice, deep and hoarse, laced with drowsiness. You turn and see him sit up and yawn carelessly like a rishboland tiger. Elegant and intimidating like one too with his bright golden eyes, Alpha fangs and muscled figure. Still naked as well, you note.

“T-the bonding mark… it’s still there!” You exclaim to him, gesturing to it.

“You should let it heal nicely.”

“Y-You don’t get it!” You huff. “My Lord… it’s still there! I’m bonded, I’m yours!”

He chuckles. “Rather, I would say we belong to each other, now.”

Belong to each other.

That sounds nice.

You turn back to the mirror, still staring at it, poking it with a finger softly, as if afraid it’ll disappear, as if it was an illusion, a dream.

But it’s there.

“For years… for years I thought I was doing s-something wrong, that there was something… wrong… with me…” You cry softly. “No Alpha had even bonded me…”

Suddenly you feel strong arms curl around your frame, a chin resting at your shoulder where it kisses your skin, and then brushes over the mark. It stings but you welcome it.

It means it’s real, all of this is.

Zhongli inhales, taking in your scent. “Well you see my dear, a dragonblood… a xiānshòu like you, can only be truly bonded by one of its own kind.”

The words take a moment to process, to sit on your brain, and you frown confused, staring at him from the mirror. And then your eyes widen.

Golden antlers crown his head, majestic and almost glowing, small scales appear under his striking amber eyes, the color of burnt ocher. A large tail, even bigger than yours in golden and brown hues, sways lazily behind him, before finding yours and intertwining with it, the feel is foreign but not unwelcome. Like holding hands.

You turn around so fast you almost trip if it weren’t for his hold. The dragonblood features are still there, in plain sight.

Your throat feels dry.

“You… you’re…”

He raises a finger to his lips and shushes you, then smiles. “I am yours my dear. Just as you are now mine.”

You cling to him and hide your face on his chest as you cry. Overwhelmed, relieved.

Yes, this is where you belong.

[pseudophan]

Hi! I am very very new to the Dan and Phil world. A friend of a friend had a spare ticket to their Oslo show and I went along. This was my very first Dan and Phil experience. I had heard their names, but went in completely blind after all who doesn't love a theatre trip to a foreign country. I had a wonderful time, even if I didn't really understand a lot of the backstory it was so much fun, and i thought i sort of had it worked out. I have come home and binged their content now, but the more I watch, the more confused I am. I watched the Anthony Padilla Dan interview tonight and that was the point where I thought I need help. I was advised head here, pick someone nice and avoid twitter so here I am. When I was watching the show in Oslo, it seemed to me that it was the most married unmarried couple ever, having fun together on stage, poking fun at all the crazy that they had faced together over the years, however the more I indulge in their content the more I am confused as to what is real or not. Is the whole stage couple thing just an act? Were they together but now not? Have I misunderstood the whole show? That Anthony interview Dan seemed to be saying he was very single and ready to find a man, so I am very very lost. Google was no help. I don't want to over step but after watching them perform on stage, they seemed completely infatuated and in love with each other and in recent videos i watched. It is all very confusing. Whatever they are, they know how to put on a show. They have a new fan in me, albeit a slightly confused one. Hope you don't think I am overstepping.

first of all, that's an insane introduction to dan and phil and i love it. i was also at the oslo show! it was a good one

as for your question, well you see the thing is dan howell is chronically full of shit. that time period was a bit weird and he was a bit annoying and he had this "single and ready to mingle" bit going, god knows why cause it wasn't very believable, but.. idk, i think perhaps it was a mix of just that fitting his brand of "comedian" better and him desperately wanting to get away from the Dan And Phil label, but because he couldn't ever fully commit to it it just fell flat imo. like you can't be on youtube and on stage claiming you're single and wanna fuck around while also appearing in your boyfriend's videos acting married as fuck, it just doesn't work. and please no one start up that godforsaken open relationship debate again cause it's just not relevant, he wasn't selling open relationship he was selling single lol, at least in that anthony interview

but like all that said i don't really think he was trying to sell it to the phannies or any of his most hardcore fans, and i think that's exactly why he was willing to appear in phil's videos still showing a completely different, much more real, side of himself. the whole Single Dan On The Prowl thing was for himself and for random people who happened to be watching, more casual members of the audience

there's a looot more to be said about dan and the way he wants to be viewed, he talks about it himself a bit in the new show but you probably don't remember it that well if you saw it as an outsider like it's hardly the most memorable part of.. all of that haha, but basically to answer your question: dan's just kinda like that sometimes. you get used to it. or maybe you won't have to since he seems ready to finally maybe potentially possibly drop some of the pretence and just.... be. or he'll change his mind again and be back to bullshitting in a few months you honestly never know with that guy

but yeah dan in that era... grain of salt is all. it's just a persona and a desperate plea to be viewed as something, anything other than Dan From Dan And Phil. it's just kind of hard to get away from that when the other half of your double act is also your life partner, you know?

[squeakintothevoid]

Exmormon thoughts on the Book of Mormon Musical:

The whole thing was spectacularly irreverent

*does some googling* oh its written by the creators of south park, that makes sense

The bright and cheery forced smiles of the missionaries are accurate

The set is amazing, with it looking like an lds temple and everything. The backdrop with the clouds and the planets even looks like the giant murals they have in the temple visitors centers

I love the salt lake city backdrop with the mormon temple right in the middle surrounded by the more obvious corporations like McDonald's and stuff. Did you know the LDS church owns a mall in the same city? It even has a little river going through it

The spooky mormon hell dream sequence was the best thing i've ever witnessed. Especially as somebody who really did get guilt-fueled nightmares, albeit not as theatrical and hellish lol

Seeing the cups of coffee dancing in hell alongside Jeffrey Dahmer and Adolf Hitler was the best, my favorite moment

The song about turning off your uncomfortable/unapproved thoughts was also amazing. The actual phrase commonly used is putting the thought "on your shelf" to set it aside to think about later. There's literally a song they teach to toddlers about never frowning because nobody likes it and making yourself smile instead.

Hearing people crack up about things you used to believe sucks but finally you are surrounded by people who agree that this is ridiculous rather than people who think you are the crazy one for doubting

Mormons don't actually think Jesus was blond but they do think he visited America and most of the art makes him look northern European

Mormons don't really believe in a traditional hell or that Jesus hates you for sinning, but the level of guilt is still the same. Like that might as well be the case because your eternal afterlife is still at stake.

The "I Am Africa" song is so on point. Missionaries go to a foreign country and really do start wearing their traditional clothes and keep speaking the language even after coming home as if they really are part of the culture now

I was not expecting to see punk rock Darth Vader or Yoda or lieutenant Uhura or Sam and Frodo.

When Elder Price said "fuck," that was a blessed moment

I'm so glad I never actually went on a mission and could only relate so much. But that dedication to following all the rules in the missionary handbook is REAL and not even as intense as they portrayed it at times. The religious scrupulosity OCD is like no other. Like it's not unheard of for a missionary to keep working on their mission even if their mom or someone died while they were away.

There are still so many weird things about growing up mormon that they didn't even touch on. Like heaven being an MLM, multiple levels and everything.

Thanks for the read, feel free to ask any questions if you're curious because I like complaining about mormonism lol

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 4 [PART 2]

I wonder how long he's been standing there. Did he come an hour early? 20 minutes early? Just standing there, doing nothing...

Dios mio... la creatura!

Something very weird happened with the Eni queen/leader. In s2, her cape and hands were like this because she was sitting, in this season — it's just part of her design. Did nobody check this stuff? Am I going insane thinking this is an error? Did she look bad when her cape was down? What the fuck is happening?

Once again, something very silly is happening with Sufokia, if they have an empress and a king. My headcanon to fix it is "the king is a consort-king" or something.

(*sobs in Ankama, or, really, 89% of all media, not understanding that whoever marries the ruler of the nation is a [insert title]-consort, and does not have as much political power or the right of succession* *Hysterically convulses in "99% of all Queens were Queen-consorts, and the title itself, by default, usually means a consort. For this reason, female rulers (rare non-consort Queens who came to throne due to lack of male princes) typically named their husbands "Princes" and not "Kings", because the title king always implies a higher degree of power than a queen; therefore, it might be reasonable to assume, that in this fantasy setting, a Ruling Empress's husband might be called a king for this reason* *Foams at mouth because Ankama just forgot they mentioed Sufokia having a king and I'm trying to cope. badly*)

Also since I'm on this tangent already, YES, this means that Sadida rules of throne succession are:

1. extremely easy for outsiders to abuse (say what you will, but "the spouse inherits the throne" is a BADDD rule to combat conquest by foreign nations, there's a reason it was children or blood-relatives of the ruler, besides patriarchy/divine right of kings/whatever — the spouse is an outsider. All it takes is a princess, who is Wonderful at poisoning, being married off to a foreign nation and whoopsie-daisy, their country is now Her country, and therefore her Family's country),

2. it's unrealistic,

3. probably just bad writing for the sake of drama.

If you're curious why I know all this shit.......... I have a blorbo in a different fandom, and his entire thing is that he was married into a royal family and then tortured by his queen wife in a sort of gender-bent Henry VIII arrangement (except he was kept alive against his will and there was no divorce or church splits). God bless that blorbo for making me learn.

These Huppermages were repurposed from the movie concept art, btw.

I find it quite interesting, that Joris has the authority to be present here...

My personal theory/headcanon is that he is their mediator, and they just call him to their meetings so that, instead of yelling at each other and declaring wars, they can talk to him (and therefore, yell only at him and declare no wars).

Ugh, once again, I am not entirely fond of the English subs. First the translation error about the brotherhood of forgotten/tofu, and now they are making Joris say this spring chicken thing...

It doesn't fit his character and reads weird. Just leave it as "I'm not that young", like in the original. It's more fitting for Joris to speak in negative sentences ("I am not young") than in affirmative ones ("I am old") because he is not fond of stating direct facts about himself and his life... besides the fact that he's standing in front of multiple world leaders.

[kicks my legs cutely thinking about the fact that Joris, older than every king and queen in this place, and fully convinced of his excellence and wisdom and heroism, has been forced to bow down to them for his entire life despite hating at 90% of them for their political decision] I love his commitment to being the protagonist of an 18th century Russian novel about being doomed by the narrative.

Also, kinda wild. You'd think that during Ogrest's chaos they'd— actually I think everyone was too dead to hold meetings during that, nvm.

I wonder what they would do, if the maker of the eyes wouldn't reply. Just stand there? Or is this speech more of a formality — something he always says, in the lead-up to the meeting?

(I am once again reminding you, this blog is LITERALLY about overthinking crepinjurgen lore! Ankama gave no shit while writing this. I'm just doing this for fun.)

He's so unimpressed. Probably still trying to gauge what the fuck is going on.

THE LITTLE SMILE— he's trying to suppress it so hard in the first screenshot here. He's probably glad that Yugo seems to be in good spirits about what's happening, even if he himself is still quite worried.

His expression here is a beautiful mix of "PLEASE DON'T FUCK THIS UP" and "it is a canon event, I cannot intervene"

Literally, Joris's expressions at this moment should be analyzed frame by frame. You can feel the desperation. He now understands that there is a high possibility they are fucked. Because his bestie (who is always right) is an impulsive 20-something year old boy who knows nothing about politics or what people can do, and his mom is a god, and the leaders of the world aren't going to like whatever the fuck is going on, and he KNOWS what they might do, and what might happen, and oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck—

"Yugo :) perhaps you shuoild :) um. :) ease them into it. :).... :("

He's trying to keep smiling, so hard. It's crazy.

Joris has lived through the huppermage genocide. He knows people don't need that much of a reason to begin killing. He understands precisely just how fragile the position that Yugo and his people are in. He understands his own place in the pecking order, too — he isn't going to act like Yugo's friend if these people are watching.

And neither Yugo, not any other Eliatrope is able to understand this. There are cruelties in this world that they are fundamentally unable to grasp without having truly been seeped in it before.

Like, what is he even to do here, to make Yugo understand how bad the situation is. All he can do is stand there looking haunted, while receiving unprecedented amounts of psychic damage.

If I was Joris at this point, I would simply pull out a flask of whiskey and a cigarette. The political situation has now gone completely unfixable. There is no going back, now that she has said these two lines.

Someone native to the World of Twelve and old enough to understand politics would know how bad this sounds. But to her, these are good things. Of course they are, since she knows what is good and what isn't, and everyone in her world has always accepted those things as good.

Basically: the conflict between WoT and Eliatropes is that a nation of people from a world of teletubbies-level conflict, — with no bigotry or nations or poverty or hunger or theft or inequality, or ulterior motives, — has been added to a "game of thrones" type society with no explanation. And now they are all forced to try and understand one another.

If I was Joris at this moment, I would simply shoot myself in the temple with a gun. If things were bad before, they are horrible now. She is talking to world leaders as her children. It might have been alright even with Eliatropes, but these people aren't Eliatropes.

DO I EVEN NEED TO COMMENT ON HOW BAD THIS IS? IN A WORLD WHERE COLONIALISM, RACISM, SUBJUGATION, AND SLAVERY ARE REAL? IS SHE ON CRACK?

I would give anythign to see Joris's expressions as she's saying these things. I think he should be trembling. Staring vacantly into space.

To someone from a world of violence, a world with "no violence" seems like a world where violence is hidden, and enacted to stop them from voicing their disagreement with the status quo.

Tot has described this as a sort of conflict between the modern world approaches to society — and named China and America as examples of what he was inspired by, while writing Eliatrope.

I will not get into detail on my feelings on it (China is often extremely criticized in the west for things every country in the world does due to racism)

But this might point us towards the fact that the world of Eliatropes wasn't as free of conflict as the show portrays it to be, and it was, in fact, Just A Society, with all that entails. In which case, things get morally morally gray... might explain why, in the earlier drafts of the season, she was meant to be the main antagonist — and why it was decided against.

(Is that maybe why Qilby is so embittered — his experiences were silenced, and he was made to suck it up, only confiding in Shinonome? She does constantly shut up Yugo and Qilby, not letting them speak up about their grudges against each other to keep the peace— [I am quickly silenced by tangent police])

[thatdeadaquarius]

Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language

I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD

It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech

Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))

So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??

But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly

It goes smth like:

So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.

Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 

Lookin’ at you Kazuha.

.

And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 

Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating

And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.

And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)

Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)

And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech

..

…

...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.

Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact

Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply

So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature

 .

(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)

(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)

____

So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",

And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 

And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."

You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."

Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."

You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 

.

And it just keeps happening, lol

.

(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)

.

Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning

.

...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??

You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 

Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao

.

(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)

.

You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 

lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)

.

Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)

ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??

(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)

.

Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.

.

It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit

Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.

You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀

.

Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,

Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,

It got so old so fast.

.

(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")

.

On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things

(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)

And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 

They're amazed and oh, 

you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 

(Bad examples include:

Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"

You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 

*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard

JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!

Thanks for reading this rambling!!

Or send in asks abt this 👀

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Hi 😊

I just scrolled bit your blog and from all discussions I've got inspired and wanted to ask question: Who would seriously date foreigners like non Asians? Because yes many Koreans have foreigner kink and idols too. As I'm someone who's always dated foreigners and avoided homies lol I find it funny they are opposite of me. I find it super limiting only wanting to marry from your own country personally it's such enriching and beautiful experience. Should we start with Enhypen? But if you are interested maybe you might do Txt or Ateez. I think little peak with hard truths would be fun or super offensive to us 🤣 Either way should be interesting.

Thank you! Loving your energy and blog 🤩

Okay, finally getting to see this lol This has been on my radar for a while, but girlie is busy. So, interesting question. Let's see what I get.

Heeseung Yes, but I do feel it is more for sexual purposes. I think he finds them very sexy and attractive and beautiful.

Jay Yes, if the opportunity present itself, it may happen on a whim, out of nowhere. They would need to emotionally be invested and in it for the long haul or patient with his busy schedule, so yeah, he doesn't care.

Jake Not really, this energy and cards are confusing af and I have no patience to decipher this. I am going with a no here. I am getting no indication he is into it with these cards.

Sunghoon Yes, he is a bit carefree, he is open to it. But they need to come from money and be successful in their own right. This boy is consistent lol

Sunoo Yes, but for sexual purposes, basically one-night stands for him, but it could develop into more, so for it to happen, it would be in a whim and could develop into something more lol It wouldn't be something he plans out and he has to be sexually attracted to them.

Jungwon I think he would, but may not be confident to do it, he may feel he will just get disappointed and regret it, this energy is weird dude. He would be cautious to proceed. He may rather not make the effort. He rather not deal with the mental struggle of it, like it is too mentally tasking to date a foreigner/non-asian.

Ni-Ki Yeah, but honestly, he prefers being single to be honest. So, it doesn't matter lol

This surprised me, I was expecting most, if not all to give me a no lol Maybe traveling a lot has opened them up to the possibility.

[phoenixyfriend]

The way that a person's individual experiences of diaspora into the West can color their interpretation of three Jedi's collective and individual responses to outsiders asking about their planet of origin.

Oh my god I just. This is going to be very American-immigrant of me but listen.

The inherent trauma of being raised as part of a diaspora population without a fixed, concentrated community in an area that strives to have you conform and assimilate, bleaching yourself of all cultural roots. The desperation to cling to a home, an origin, because of how untethered the average White person is, in places like the US and Canada and Australia, so if you have any knowledge of a Home Country you cling to it. That kneejerk "I am not one of you, I may pass as 'normal' but I am foreign, I am Other, I am not you" that exists for those of us who immigrated young but were raised in the Home Culture, inasmuch as our parents could manage.

Many Americans cannot fathom the idea of not taking pride in Where You Come From. So many are unmoored in that sense, and substitute pride in their City or State, with cultural histories that are so much shorter. So many can't process the idea that balancing Where You Come From with Where You Are as anything other than an act of survival in the face of violence, because for so many, that Pride In Cultural Background is something that was stripped away generations ago, willingly or not.

(I can't speak for all, especially not non-white folks, but I'm sure there are related-but-different takes.)

So the idea that the Jedi can prioritize "I am a Jedi" over "I am from This Specific Planet" and it not be an act of violence or survival is unfathomable to people who cling so strongly to things like... dna ancestry tests and the barest fragments of what they can collect.

And I'm obviously coming at this from the perspective of someone who loves the Jedi, who fully believes in their specific messages and ideals, who trusts that they do do their best to keep their members tethered to their home cultures (Ahsoka's hunt on Shili, Barriss and Luminara's tattoos, Depa's piercings), but that the Jedi still prioritize "I am a Jedi" as their culture.

But. I think that, a lot of the time, when I see a Jedi take offense to "okay, but where are you from?" questions in fic, it hits a weird button to me, because... there are definitely real-world communities for whom that's a hot-button question, an insult, an act of racism, of Othering. Whereas my experience has always been excitement to share that no, I'm not from here, thank you for asking. Thank you for noticing that my name is Not This.

Is it different for human Jedi than it is for twi'leks? For Jedi of the galactic majority instead of an oppressed class? To what extent does a fic writer's relationship with the experience of diaspora impact this aspect of the Jedi, and how they react to other's questions of their origins?

(Please engage in good faith and be polite, thank you.)

[milf-n-dilf-dippin-dots]

This is maybe the best news ive ever received in terms of me perceiving them, but very bad news for my insomnia which will now be propelled by researching cowboys.

I drop this like a flyer in the street and run away

[kindlespark]

The experience of being Chinese diaspora but only knowing English as a first language is universal and insane. I love that babel toys around with that feeling a lot.

Not to mention the feeling of both being ashamed of not knowing and also that weird feeling of offense that it's an expectation for you to know but then you're like wait- why do I feel offended that someone would think I would know Chinese and the answer IS racism - but it's also like do I have biases or embarrassment that one would think I know Chinese? That I'm Chinese, that I would fall into the stereotype of what they think of me. And then it's this horrific feeling of not wanting to be made fun of, but not wanting to be ashamed, and wanting to know it for legitimate cultural reasons, but not wanting to be pointed at as a spectacle if you do know it. And this is the insanity of living around mostly white folk.

There's a tragedy to being cut off from language that is so important to culture, and how much of that are you allowed to claim when you're made a stranger to it. And then it's an infinite loop of self doubt, awareness of racism, and insanity.

for sure! diaspora of colour face the kind of racialisation from both in our communities and out of them where our languages and our cultures/existences as poc are entwined. we're foreign. whereas european diaspora don't get the same judgment for not knowing french/german etc. but there also is privilege in living in an english-speaking country with your native language being english; poc with accents from their home countries are racialised significantly more

like all asian diaspora art majors i have a lot of old angsty writing about not belonging anywhere and not knowing my language and the shame and alienation that comes with it. im also diaspora of a diaspora; my parents are chinese-malaysian, and now we're in australia. it's easy to feel like a watered-down version of my cultures, or to feel like i'm made out of things that i am Not. not to even mention how being queer factors into that lmaoooo

for me it was easy to be like, if you have to spend time learning your own culture, is it really yours? but the answer is yes! like rereading my old writing makes me giggle a bit because since then i've spent more time with asian diaspora here, seeking out queer asian communities, reaching out to my family outside of australia, learning chinese. it's incredibly healing. in the scene where robin first meets ramy, babel captures that feeling of your walls going down when you meet another poc so unbelievably well. it's why i don't take the romanticism of it as a soulmate-ism on robin or ramy's part (even though it is also because they're gay). i've felt that feeling a thousand times! asian diasporic culture isn't any less authentic, it's its own thing. you're not alone anon!

[fuckingfandomfreak]

Bro I saw that you said Arthur was in the right to kill that king in s4 (I forgot his name) and YESSSS omg everyone is always like it was wrong but I can never see how and I was starting to go crazy.

Genuinely, that episode irks me like nothing else. It drives me fucking CRAZY. Like it’s a perfectly good episode that I can’t enjoy bc it MAKES NO SENSE. I feel gaslit

Not even just bc im an Arthur girlie (but I am), but bc everyone fucking acted like executing the other king was a crazy decision that started a war. The show had me agreeing with AGRAVAINE 🤮🤢

Like just genuinely, from a normal perspective, King Carleon INVADED Camelot (not even the borders but deep into Camelot; they said in the episode) and took territory. That’s an act of war. Everyone in that episode (and eventually Arthur) acts like Arthur started a war, but Carleon did. You can’t invade another country and just expect the king to let you go. That’s crazy!!! It makes no sense 😭

And you got everyone telling Arthur that he shouldn’t murder a man in cold blood and that’s not like him, and then Annis calling Arthur a coward for executing her husband, and suddenly it’s Arthur’s fault there’s a war. When Carleon invaded another country and just expected to get off with a wrist slap????

Arthur was even better than he should’ve been about it. Carleon had to either secede land to Arthur as punishment for invading Arthur’s land multiple times (they mentioned Carleon kept taking border towns but this time was different bc this was little in the center of the country) or lose his head. And Carleon decided to lose his head, and everyone was up Arthur’s ass being like “Carleon would never agree to those terms. This is just an excuse to behead him,” and expect us to feel bad for CARLEON???

Like too bad, so sad, don’t invade other countries. Why was agravaine the only one speaking common sense?? Arthur had to be harsh with him bc Arthur kept sparing Carleon before and Carleon kept invading. And Arthur letting Carleon go with a slap on the wrist would’ve just shown every other king that he was a bitch, and they could keep invading Camelot until they succeed without any repercussions. Yes, Arthur should’ve killed Carleon. Obviously, Queen Annis was going to retaliate, but that’s not his fault. He didn’t start this. Carleon did.

It’s this weird thing that the show does where they have like zero tolerance for war, but they just makes everyone look like idiots. I love a good anti-war message, but the show wasn’t going for that. It just had stupid lessons. Like the multiple times some foreign king was going something shady, and Merlin went crazy trying to fix what they were doing while also keeping it a secret bc if Arthur or Uther found out, they would’ve started a war.

But a foreign king deliberately sabotaging a peace treaty bc he wanted two kings at the peace treaty to fight so that he could profit from the destruction is an act of war. It’s stupid to me not to tell anybody bc now Camelot just has an untrustworthy and shady ally.

[mask131]

So you want to know about Oz! (6)

The "Oz" world is definitively one of the big slices of American culture, and yet it has managed to reach many countries outside of the USA!

For example, Japan. The Wizard of Oz is one of the several American works of fiction that were brought over to the Nippon world and that Japanese folks took quite a liking to! As a result it regularly pops up there alongside more European "foreign classics" like Alice in Wonderland or the Grimm fairytales.

The first Japanese Oz adaptation I know of was an animated movie created in 1982 by Toho, adapting The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

It was one of the two most famous anime adaptations of the Oz books. The other I talked about before: 1986's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz series, which is to this day one of the most complete Oz adaptations ever made for screen. Indeed, this anime doesn't just cover "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz", but also "The Marvelous Land of Oz", "Ozma of Oz" and "The Emerald City of Oz". In fact, when I first got a DVD of the series as a kid I was VERY confused as to why suddenly there were all these weird events and characters comng out of nowhere, since I was only aware of the very first book.

[Looking at these animes allows one to notice several big cultural changes from American to Japan. For example, these adaptations have a tendency to give a purplish-skin to the Wicked Witch of the West, as opposed to the greenish skin of the Witch in American media... And it reflects how in Japanese visuals purple is the color most associated with toxic products, radioactivity and poison, whereas it is "green" the venomous and radioactive color in American media]

There is a second series that is more... unique to say the least. 1991's The Wonderful Galaxy of Oz (Space Oz no Bouken), which is a retelling of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz... but in space! We are not in the early 1900s but in 2060, "New Kansas" is actually a planet, Oz an ENTIRE NEW GALAXY, and the quest for the "Brain, Heart, Courage" becomes a quest for magical crystals of "Love, Wisdom and Courage" to fend off an intergalatic invasion... Yeah that's very Japanese for you.

Adaptations of "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" also appeared from time to time as individual episodes in fairytale anthologies series - from 1976's Manga sekai mukashi Banashi, to 1993's World Fairy Tale Series, passing by a stand-alone OVA from (1983 I believe?).

Outside of animes, the world of Oz notably had great success in the domain of Japanese video games.

Most people today are familiar with the game "The Wizard of Oz: Beyond the Yellow Brick Road", which was originally released in 2008 under the strange name... "Riz-Zoawd?". And which is ... quite loosely adapted from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. (You don't have one wicked witch to defeat but four seasonal witches to fight ; the magical shoes are given to Dorothy by the Wizard of Oz who summoned her to the land, etc...)

And while it is not available anymore, there was this app game that was quite talked about and documented online. It was a dating sim part of the "Shall we date?" line: Oz+ Shall we date?

A dating simulation taking place after the events of the novel, but in a world where Dorothy's companions became pretty young human men, and the Land of Oz doesn't have four Witches but four Warlocks... And this game actually had, surprisingly, quite a lot of Oz lore to it! I will definitively say that it was a precursor of future games like "Twisted Wonderland", in the idea of an "actually serious at worldbuilding genderbent game".

There are a few others but I unfortunately cannot fnd them back for now... Oh well!

And while I am at it, this is NOT a Japanese work, this is a Korean manhwa, but I think it still deserves a mention: "Dorosi" (published in English as "Dorothy of Oz") which is a very interesting reinterpretation of The Wizard of Oz as a sci-fi/science-fantasy series (the Witches are not witches, but hyper-advanced scientists delving into robotics, genetics and other sci-fi technology; a lot of the characters are just mutants or equiped with android-prosthetics, etc, etc...)

[freakroth]

Young Love [chapter 1]

This is a chuuya x reader x dazai fanfic! yay>_<

Btw Y/N is afab Non-binary and uses They/them

Also Finnish Y/N 😼

I suck at writing fanfics but i'm trying best and if you wanna read the chapers i've made so far then they are on my wattpad:D

https://www.wattpad.com/user/Luka_LL

______________________________________________________________

~Y/N POV:~

Finally, after 13 long hours i'm finally in Japan to start my new life! it feels so good to finally get to start a new life away from my family and old friends or more like classmates since i can't think of any of them as friends anymore.

As i step out of the airport i sit down on a bench outside and call for a taxi to come and get me. as i wait for my taxi, i scroll through old pictures of me and my classmates, "..why can't i just be happy like i was back then..?" i mumble to myself.

after about 20 minutes the taxi comes and i go inside it.

"To (college name) please" i say in Japanese to the taxi driver and he starts driving.

while on the way i admirer the city of Yokohama.

"are you a foreigner?" the taxi driver asks me "ah, yes i am" i answer him "this is actually my first time traveling outside of Europa" i say.

"are you European?" the taxi driver asks me "yeah, i'm from Finland"(or whatever country your from) i answer him, and the driver only nods and keeps driving me.

When we get to the college i thank him and pay "bye have a good day!" the driver says before driving of.

"..i'm all on my own now.." i mumble to myself again as i start walking inside the building. while i walk to the principles office i see some people whispering to each other and i'm guessing they are talking about how i look so different from them, it wouldn't be the first time.

while in my thoughts i accidentally bump into someone "oh sorry.." i say, and hear the person huff "whatever" they say and walk way. 'what the fuck did i do' i think to myself. i watch as the ginger haired boy walks over to some other boy with brunet hair thats much taller then him 'that must be his friend or something' i think to myself again.

when i get to the principles office i knock on the door and wait.

"come in!" i hear a woman say from the inside.

"You must be Y/N! am i right?" she asks in a happy voice "uh.. yeah i am" i say back "you must be nervous" she says to me in a calm voice while i keep quiet "theres no need to worry, you'll fit in just fine" she says. 'yeah right, there were just some students back talking me, and i made someone mad, i'm defiantly gonna fit in' i think to myself "..okay.." i say

After she tells me about all of my classes she gives me the keys to my dorm "just know you're gonna have two room mates!" she says as i leave the room.

'Room number 567? that means its on the 5th floor..' i think to myself and start walking to the elevator.

theres a note on the elevator door that says 'out of order' 'great, just my lucky day' i think and start walking up the stairs.

once at the top i start panting a lot "jeez.. that was harder then i thought.." i say to myself.

"543.. 544.. 545.." i look at all of the doors trying to find my own. "here it is!" i say while i start to unlock the door.

"DAZAI WHERE THE FUCK IS MY HAIR BRUSH!?!?" is the first thing i hear when i open the door 'oh lord' "calm down dear, its just a hair brush" says the same brunet from earlier while getting choked by the ginger 'what did i just walk in on' "this is kinda kinky not gonna lie-" the brunet says before the ginger lets go of him. "perv.." mumbles the ginger before he sees me.

"who the fuck are you?" he asks and i freeze "oh! i think thats our new room mate chuuya!" the brunet says excitedly "oh yeah, we were getting a new room mate, thats why we had to clean the guest room" the ginger says in a bit calmer voice now.

i study the boys features carefully.. they are quite pretty both of them, the brunet boy has bandages covering his arm, legs and neck, weird.. the ginger boy has some cute freckles covering his face and one blue and one brown eye. 

"you just gonna stand there like an idiot or introduce yourself to us?" the ginger asks in an annoyed tone. 

"a-ah! i-i'm Y/N..!" 'FUCK WHY DID I HAVE TO START STUTTERING RIGHT NOW!?' i think while dying inside.

"i'm guessing you aren't from Japan, right?" the brunet asks.

"..yeah.. i'm Finnish.." i say.

"i can tell" the ginger says.

'what the fuck is that supposed to mean!?' 

"chuuya, i'm pretty sure thats offensive to say" the brunet says. "HUH!?" the ginger seems shocked. 

"by the way i'm Dazai Osamu" the brunet says " and this here is my boyfriend, Chuuya Nakahara!" he say happily. 

"you shouldn't say that we are boyfriends to them! what if they are homophobic, dumbass!?" Chuuya say in a more irritated voice.

"..its fine.. i'm also a part of the community.." i say an they just look at me. i start to feel pretty weird and think that they are jugging me. i feel like i want to cry but i hold it in as to not make a fool out of myself.

"follow me and i'll show you your room!" Dazai says happily and grabs my hand. i flinch a bit at the contact but don't do anything to not seem like a bother.

"heres your new room!" he says and pushes me into the room closing the door 'finally he left me alone,..' i think while looking around the room, its quite big, probably bigger then my old room back.. home.. i feel sad thinking about my "home".. it never really felt like a home or a safe place for me.. all i can remember are bad times from when my parents yelled at me and said they were gonna hit me.

i wipe a tear that was running down my cheek and start unpacking my stuff.

"..this is gonna be a long night.." i sigh.

(authors note: i'll try to update this as much as i can since i'm busy with school stuff:) there might be a bit of smut in the next chapter;

Please don't steal this (nobody is gonna do that anyway) and i won't post the next chapter for a while so just read it on my wattpad. it might take me like months to post more chapters since i might forget lol) 

[clownprincehoeshi]

Parallel Hearts - Chapter 1

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. Maybe you finally have your shot at love and happiness. Or not.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Pairing: fem reader x idol Jungkook fem reader x idol Mingyu fem reader x idol Hoshi

Warnings: Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Harrassment-Stalking-Death mentions-Cheating

Word count: 4620

This is my first time writing, I hope there are no big mistakes in the text, I am also not a native english speaker. This is chapter 1 from a series of chapters that will be about more idols. The story starts sometime in 2022. Enjoy!

Next chapter

Masterlist

Why does it have to rain today of all days? Is this how this city is welcoming me? Am I not wanted here? Well, you’re stuck with me now, city! I’m not going back to my shitty town and my shitty life. This is a new beginning. Y/N said, as she stacks some boxes on the floor of her new home in Seoul.

She moved here today, after she was offered a new job at an advertising company. She thought she needs a big change in her life. It’s not like her life in her country back in Europe was interesting. Yeah, she had a couple of really good friends there, and her sister, but that was it. She’s not interested in dating or having a man, she’d rather spend her free time on her hobbies and on herself.

One of her hobbies being kpop. She got into it when covid struck and she had to spend her time inside. Weeks and weeks of working from home and spending her entire free time at home, so she needed to find new ways to entertain herself. That’s how kpop came into her life. It was also a period in her life when she felt lonely, because she just ended a 2 year relationship. She put a lot into it, and let’s say she was more than disappointed when the guy told her out of nowhere that their relationship isn’t going anywhere. But that’s life, and she had to move on.

Now, this is like a new start for her, but she will focus on work and making herself happy. Starting a new life in a new country isn’t easy, but her luck is starting to change when she meets her new coworkers. Most of them are Korean, but there are also some foreigners that immediately try to talk to her and get to know her. She’s not a very open and social person, so it’s hard for her to open up and be all friendly with strangers. But Hana from work notices this about Y/N so she will make it her mission to befriend Y/N and make her feel at home. Hana knows how it must feel, she’s been in her shows when she moved to Seoul from Busan.

Hana: I think me and Y/N will be good friends, she seems genuine, so I’m going to invite her to have lunch with me today.

Maddy: Go ahead. I think she seems pretty arrogant to me.

Hana: Stop judging before you actually talk to the person, geez.

Maddy: Whatever, you do you.

So here you are, having lunch with this girl with bright brown eyes, named Hana who just seems so nice. It makes you want to be friendly and nice back. But you’re curious as why is she being like this with you, so you ask.

Y/N: Soooo… I don’t want you to think I am being rude or anything, but I am curious about why you approached me.

Hana: Well, I also moved from a different city like 2 years ago, and I know things must feel weird for you now.

Y/N: Yeah, it does feel weird. And I am not the most social person. I am a little concerned about how people will see me and if I will make any friends here.

Hana: Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be here, we can be friends. Deal?

Y/N: Deal.

Hana: Stick around me and you’ll end up with a lot of friends. You could say I’m pretty popular.

Then she winks cutely at you, smiling.

In these weeks that you have grown to know Hana, you have learned that she’s is indeed popular, she’s sweet, kind, had a ton of friends and acquaintances. She’s so cool, you think to yourself. Also, thank god she’s into stuff that you too like, for instance kpop. You haven’t met that many people that are into it. Strange, you think.

It’s Friday evening and a text from Hana pops up on your phone screen.

Hana banana: Y/N, I think it’s time

Y/N: Time for what, silly?

Hana banana: For you to meet some of my friends

Y/N: But I met your friends?

Hana banana: Naah, these are other friends that I haven’t told you about

Y/N: Ok?

Hana banana: But I needed to be sure about you

Y/N: What you mean?

Y/N: Hana?

Y/N: Hana banana?

But she didn’t reply that night. She called you the next day, saying she wants to come over to talk about her friends. Was she hung over from last night? How much did she have to drink? Was she drunk now? Did she drink first thing in the morning? What’s with the mystery? You scratched your head as you loaded the washing machine. You’re waken from your thoughts by the doorbell. Hana must be here. You open the door and she’s storming inside, with a big grin on her face.

Hana: Ok, here you are

Y/N: Yeah, I should be here, it’s my house. Are you drunk? Where did you disappear last night?

Hana: I was with my friends and I told them about you, so they got curious and told me to bring you next time I meet them.

Y/N: And are they like spies or something? What’s with the mystery? Are they aliens?

Hana: I was thinking to prank you and just not tell you who they were and see your face when you meet them, but it would not be fair. But you need to look your best if you’ll meet them

Y/N: It’s not like I look like shit when we go out

Hana: Y/N, come on. Sometimes you dress like a homeless person

Y/N: That’s how I like it?

Hana: Nooo, you need to look your best for this one

Y/N: I think the fuck not. Not dressing up for no man

Hana: It’s Jungkook. You’re going to meet Jungkook, bitch. He’s one of my friends. And all the 97 line.  Jaehyun is my cousin and sometimes he invites me to their dinners and hangouts with the other guys

Now… in your head there were conflicting thoughts. First thought was that this was a lie, there is no way in hell that the universe was so kind to you after all the shit you’re been trough in your life. She must be saying this to prank you, But what a stupid prank this is. Nobody should play games with you when it comes to your ult bias, JK. What is she thinking?

Y/N: You trying to die today?

You’re starting to get all red, you can feel it. You’re starting to get hot and angry. Angry at her for being such a pain in the ass. She knows you don’t like this type of shit, why is she doing this?

Hana: I am not lying!!! Look

As she takes her phone out her bag, she starts to show you photos and videos of her with the guys. Them, eating, drinking, taking night strolls, car rides, laughing, having fun

Remember that first thought? Scratch that. Those other thoughts? Irrelevant. Now you’re only thought was that one tik tok where Sponge Bob was putting on a maid outfit.

You grab Hana’s hands, look her in the eye and quiet sets between you two. You stay like that for a few moments. Then tears are forming in your eyes and they start to roll down your cheeks that are not a dark shade of pink, because you got angry before you got excited. You cry. You ugly cry.

Hana: What the fuck? Why you crying?

Y/N: What am I going to weaaaaaar?

What you’re going to wear. That was your fucking concern. Really? Well, duh!!! It’s Jungkook. He’ll see you. You. Why and how you’ve gotten so lucky, you don’t know. And the rest of the day you’re a ball of nerves, because you will see him tomorrow.

You can barely sleep that night. As usual, you spend your late hours in bed, watching Run BTS and Jungkook reels until you fall asleep. At 6 AM. You think you’re crazy and you will look like shit tomorrow. This is not the time to say I don’t give a shit how I look, I’m not going to look perfect for any man. But he’s not just any man, is he? No no. He’s the perfect man, you’re ideal man. How is he not everyone’s ideal man?

The next day you make sure to eat properly, to take extra care of your hair and skin, because you only got 4 hours of sleep last night. Thanks, Instagram for making reels a thing.

It’s 5 PM and Hana will be here any minute to pick you up. You’re feeling like shit. You feel like throwing up or shitting your pants, you don’t know which. You call you bff who’s back in your hometown. You’’re sure she’s awake, she’s a night person like you.

Y/N: Wifey, what am I going to do? What if I do something stupid in front of him? Should I just not open my mouth at all?

Bff: What? No, wtf! I mean, I know you’ll be weird and all, but just relax. Just be yourself, maybe try not to look like you trying to kill people, you know.

Y/N: Great talk!

Hana texts you she is downstairs. You grab your bag, check yourself in the mirror and leave your apartment. When you get into Hana’s car she starts whistling

Hana: Yooo, you looking for a girlfriend? I’m single.

You slap her shoulders and start blushing. But you know you’re mostly blushing because you know who you’re going to meet. But what if he’s not going to come? What if something happens and he can’t come? Shit! I wanna put my head into sand right now.

You arrive at the place you’re going to have dinner and drinks. You’re not much of a drinker, never been. In fact, you hate pretty much any taste of alcohol. It’s just not for you and your sensitive tasting buds. And you never try to drink just to please the people around you. No, you don’t care about that. So you won’t drink tonight either, unless they have something sweet. You like sweet alcohol, it’s tasty.

Hana walks in front of you, arriving to a private room and opens the door. You hear voices inside and your stomach shrinks into a little grain of sand. Oh god, I’m going to die!

She greets the people inside, everyone sounding friendly and nice, but then she moves. You were trying to hide behind her, but you’re been revealed now. You bow, greeting everyone. You’re so shy that you can’t even look them in the eye. At least not for more than 0,00001 seconds. You could be an octopus with how fast you feel your face changes color from normal to red. But you love octopuses, you find them cute. Your mind flies to octopuses when you’re meeting Jungkook. WTF. Focus!

Jungkook’s POV

You’re already at your second drink and you feel just a tiny tipsy. You hear the door opening and there is Hana. Oh, this means her new friends must be with her. But you can’t see the friend. You were about to ask about her, but then Hana moved from the way and there she was. Was she hiding behind Hana? That’s hilarious. She must be nervous, cute.

But when you see her, it’s like everything slows down. Like in those movies when the main character appears, looking all cool, and everyone is starring. This is how it felt. How can anyone be this attractive? Have I been drinking too much? I just had one glass, the hell. First thing you notice it’s her hair, because she was kind of looking down at first, then she bowed and her long, golden hair moved towards her face like the softest silk. You notice her big bright eyes, the way they avoided yours and that shy smile. She had a beautiful smile. She was wearing a cute short dress, revealing her shoulders and legs. Well, wow is all that you could say. Good thing nobody heard you. You hope.

Y/N’s POV

Hana points you to sit between her and Jaehyun. There is another girl there, and you find out it’s Eunwoo’s girlfriend. Wow, it must be crazy hard for them to hide their relationship from the public. I don’t really envy that, though. I wonder if Jungkook has a girl too. Jaehyun hands you the menu and tells you to pick whatever you like and he’ll order for you. What a gentleman, you think.

Y/N: Oh oh, beer and sprite.

Jaehyun: Interesting combo, never tried it.

Jungkook: Never to late to try new things.

He says that, while sipping from his glass, looking at you with hooded eyes.

Shit! Why are you doing that, Jungkook? I am weak! Stop with those eyes!!

You’re so happy when you mix your beer and sprite in your little glass and take a sip. The day got better and you feel like you can do this. Whenever you have your favorite stuff around, you feel more like home and it gives you confidence. Like your favorite drink, or food you like, or a song you love, or a doggo.

You’re pretty quiet, but that’s just you. You’re a die hard introvert and you take time to feel comfortable around new people. You’re happy thought that nobody says annoying stuff like “oh, you’re so quiet”, “You don’t talk?” and other shit strangers say to you when they first meet you. It annoys you to the Moon and back that some people are so unaware that not everyone is like them, extroverted, outgoing, super social, loud.

Sometimes, when you’re in a mood to put those types of people in their place, you fight back with “why are you so loud? Why do you talk so much?”. They get pissy, but you don’t care. You like your little bubble and you let only your people inside, the ones that care to understand.

You’ve had already 2 glasses of beer-sprite and a glass of strawberry soju. It’s sweet, you like this one. You feel a little social by this point, but still super shy to look at Jungkook. And what’s worse is that he’s just across the table, right in front of you. You need to look left or right to avoid his eyes. You only look his way when you’re sure he’s doing something and has his head turned away from you. But the alcohol is fucking with your eyes, so at some point and you think about admiring him a little more and you look. You look straight into his big eyes, because guess what. He was already looking at you. Good thing you’re sitting, because your knees become jelly. You do the unthinkable and for once in your life you don’t move your eyes. You keep them on him. And he keeps his eyes on you. What’s going on? Why is he looking at me? What do I do? Do I have something on my face? On god no, I must have something on my face, shit.

You must feel brave today, because you ask him:

Y/N: What’s wrong, do I have something on my face?

But you’re dead serious and while touching your face. He giggles

Jungkook: No no, you’re good. Sorry, I think I was starring too hard.

He takes another sip of his drink, while saying “cute” in a low voice, but you heard it and it made you blush. You felt like a big ball of lava right now. The Jungkook thinks you’re cute. The universe must be joking right now, making fun of you. Is this a dream? Have I hit my head one day and I’ve been in this dream since? When did your life become this? You were never a lucky person and it feels weird.

You observe Mingyu in the corner of your eye, kind of like trying to start a conversation with you. You don’t know much about him, you just know he’s Jungkook’s friend and he’s also in a band, but that’s about it. He starts to fiddle in his seat, you feel his eyes on you.

Hana: What’s with you, Mingyu? You seem a little agitated.

Mingyu: Oh, nothing. Just trying to hop into the conversation you’re having with your friend. I’ve heard something about going to a concert next week?

Hana: Yeah, I want to introduce Y/N to the kpop concert life, she hasn’t been to any so far and I think that’s wack.

Mingyu: You really must go, you’ll love it. What show you’re going to?

Hana: Ateez, we love them. You know I have a thing for Mingi.

You push her shoulder a little, knowing what she’s thinking right now, because you know your friend has a dirty mind.

Y/N: Girl, behave, not in front of my beer.

Mingyu: Oh, so who’s your Ateez bias then, Y/N?

Y/N: Yeosang. You answer shily.

Mingyu: Really now. And why is he your bias?

You feel Jungkook’s eyes on you and a rush of heat runs through your body.

Y/N: Well, I like his personality. He’s introverted and shy, has a great sense of humor, and he’s hot but at the same time really cute and adorable.

Mingyu nods like he’s in agreement, and then he’s asking the craziest question.

Mingyu: Who’s your bias in BTS?

You choke and you feel like you don’t know what words are. What’s speaking?

Y/N: I won’t tell you, since Jungkook is here. It feels weird

Mingyu: Oh, come oooon! Pleaaase?

Jungkook: Dude, it doesn’t matter. She’s right. I am here. Maybe you’ll find out another time when I’m not here.

Ugh, your savior. How can he be more perfect? He saved you when you were feeling awkward.

Mingyu: Damn, was just trying to make the night more interesting. Sorry, guys.

He says with a pout, the others teasing him. He seems like a big puppy. He’s so tall but so tiny at the same time.

The food is here. You let them order whatever they wanted, you had no idea what to choose. You just knew you don’t anything too spicy or weird. You can’t wait to eat, because you feel fucking hungry. You’re not something to shy away from eating, and even eating a lot. So you start with some soup, then some steak and all kind of grilled stuff. You just love Korean food, so tasty and filled with different flavors. You wish your best friend was here with you. You think to yourself that this is the happiest you’ve ever been. Eating delicious food and being in the same room with your ult bias. What could be better than this?

Well it could be better than this, but that’s another story, something you fantasize about when you’re alone.

Jungkook and Mingyu, seeing as you enjoy the food, the offer to help you with the meat. They put it on the grill and cook it for you, then put it on your plate.

Hana: Wow, guys, you’ve never done that for me. What’s this, now? Acting nice for the new girl?

Mingyu: She has been nice to us, you’re mean.

Jungkook starts to laugh, because he knows Hana always teases and bullies Mingyu. They all tease him and they do it because he never gets upset, he’s just that nice and soft for his friends and everyone loves him for that.

Mingyu, being the extroverted guy that he is, tries to find out more about you, so he goes crazy with the questions. He’s also had a few glasses, so you answer all his curiosities.

Mingyu: So, Y/N, tell me.

Y/N: Yes, Mingyu?

A pinch of pink appears on his cheeks, hearing his name on your lips, sounding so pretty.

Mingyu: Well, how did you end up in Seoul, why this city?

Y/N: Umm, long story, but to make it short, I have been a fan of Korean cinema, then started watching dramas too, then I thought I want to learn the language because it sounded so interesting. I already knew English pretty well, Spanish, and a little of French and german, so I wanted something different. Then stuff happened in my personal life and I needed a big change, so my boos from back home told me about this job opportunity in Seoul, since she knew I spoke the language already. I didn’t think about it, I just booked a flight and here I am.

Jungkook: Your Korean is really good, though and you know so many other languages, wow. You’re really smart.

Y/N: Oh, thank you.

Now you feel yourself blushing again, but what’s new.

Mingyu: Do you have a boyfriend?

You almost choked on your food. This man.

Hana: You have no shame today, Gyu.

Mingyu: Hey, we’re just getting to know each other here, we’re practically friends now. Right, Y/N?

Y/N: Umm, I guess?

Jungkook: So?

You look at Jungkook, trying to figure out what he’s trying to say. But all he does is lay back on his seat and manspread, with a grin on his face. You feel like going crazy. He knows what he’s doing. Does he know he’s my bias? Could he? Maybe he reads minds. Oh, I hope not!!!

Y/N: What?

Jungkook: Do you have a boyfriend?

Y/N: Oh!! I don’t, no.

Mingyu: Why not? If that’s not too much to ask.

Hana: Oh, this is going to be good.

She knows your life story and your history with guys and relationships, so she knows you have a lot to say about this.

Y/N: You really want to know? I can give a formal short answer or a genuine longer answer. Which one is it?

Jungkook: Long answer.

The whole room is now looking at you, curious about what you have to say. People are always curious about this type of stuff. You are too, you have to admit. And not in the Oh, I like gossip type of way, but you like to hear about other people’s love stories and why they didn’t work out.

Y/N: I don’t trust men. I used to. Big mistake, because whenever I put my trust in one, I would get disappointed again. My last relationship was a disaster. I felt used, like he came into my life, promised the world, then after he got what he needed, he left. I invested so much time, energy, feelings into it and all I got was emptiness. I tried dating a few times after that, but everything felt so shallow. Nobody with real good intentions. Everyone felt so fake, so I stopped everything. Why waste my time on people that don’t care about me? No. And you know what? Unless some guy shows up, really doing everything to show me he’s a real person with real feelings and not some stupid cardboard box, then I might consider giving him a chance. I’m just happier alone.

Hana: Mingyu wouldn’t know about that, he’s got a new girl every other month.

Everyone starts to giggle and you’re surprised but not really, because he’s a really attractive guy. And he seems to have it all.

Mingyu: Wow, you say such nice things about me, Hana. You’re just the best.

You laugh, you find him funny and charismatic. No wonder he’s getting so many girls.

Jungkook: Guys, come on, leave my man alone. He’s not that slutty. He’s just overly friendly and excited so he can give the wrong impression.

Mingyu gives a proud smile, hearing his bestie taking his side. Finally, someone takes his side, he thinks.

Y/N: But what about you guys, how hard is it to have a romantic life in your situation?

Mingyu pouts, Jungkook tilts his head and looks like he’s thinking, Jaehyun shrugs.

Eunwoo: In my case, all I can say is that it’s really difficult. You put your career on the line, but when you meet someone you really like, you can’t just ignore the feelings. You can’t live just for your work, you’re not a machine.

Mingyu: It fucking sucks, I barely have time for a romantic life. Things are getting really intense at work lately and I need to be there for me and for my members.

You look at Jungkook, who’s taking a soju shot, waiting for him to give a response too. You really want to know, it burns you to know.

He realizes you are waiting for him to say something, so he tries to change the subject.

Jungkook: Let’s do shots before we end this night?

And the hands you a glass of shot, you drink it, looking at him. He’s avoiding your eyes for the rest of the night and it’s not long until you all need to leave. The restaurant is closing, it’s past midnight and tomorrow it’s a work day. Shit, you have so much work to do tomorrow and here you are, a little drunk., wondering why Jungkook didn’t answer your question and why he didn’t look at you the rest of the time.

You all give your goodbyes and the guys are telling you how glad they are to have met you and that they will see you next time. You feel Jungkook’s eyes burning into your skull, and when you turn to him you catch him starring so you give him a little smile with a “goodnight”. He bows and smiles then turns and walks with Mingyu to the direction where a car is waiting for them.

You felt sadness. Sadness because this night was over, because you thought that you were weird and they didn’t like you. Shit, you met your bias of biases and you’re glad you didn’t shit yourself when he looked in your direction. You felt a little proud of yourself for not acting like a crazy fan. You always thought that if you met any of your favorite artists, you would just be quiet and act normal, trying to not make them feel uncomfortable. That’s what everyone should do, right?

You’re also trying really hard not to be too delulu right now, after meeting him. You can’t wait to tell your bestie about it, too bad she’s sleeping at this hour, must be really early in the morning there. Oh well, I’ll just take a shower and go to sleep. Who knows, maybe the universe is starting to like me and I will see him again.

Next morning you wake up all sweaty and worked up. You had a sex dream about Jungkook. Damn, it felt so real, wtf. Stupid brain, let me function today! You arrive at the office and you find Hana waiting at your desk, two cups of hot cocoa. She known you hate coffee, and what else could you drink on a cold march morning?

Hana: I figured you’ll be a little hungover, we had a lot to drink. Well, me. You were lightweight.

Y/N: Ugh, you’re a life saver. Thanks for the cocoa, I love it.

Hana: So what did you think?

Y/N: About last night?

Hana: Duh! Did you feel weird or it was fun? Want me to get a signed photocard from JK?

Y/N: Nooo, I would feel so embarrassed. But I really enjoyed it. They seem like normal people, though Jungkook is a little reserved. So mysterious, no?

Hana: Hm, maybe because you were there. He was a little more quiet last night though, but so were you. I could see you two being a couple.

Y/N: Omg, stop! I’m not that delulu, girl.

Hana: You never know.