#I love this and also it reminds me of the sign on a back road I often take that just says

[absurdthirst]

Fucking Fungus {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: SEX POLLEN, dub con, post apocalyptic world, scavenging, guilt, shame, desire, Joel having a bad attitude, mentions of periods, rough sex, neediness, unprotected sex, cream pie

Comments: Coming across Wymore, NE, you hoped to find some much needed supplies for the coming winter but you find that the fungus has mutated in dangerous and frightening ways. Needing to insure that there are more hosts to infect in a very basic kind of way.

🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉Happy Birthday @storiesofthefandomlovers!!!! I love you and hope you have the best damn day! In thotty tradition, here is a sex pollen to celebrate another year around the sun!🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉

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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

The world has changed in the past twenty years. None of it for the betterment of humanity. The crunch of the dried leaves grinds under your boots and your head rotates left and then right as you watch, listen. Waiting for any sign of life or more importantly, danger. The weight of your rifle is heavy in your hands, although you hold it down, unassuming but ready to be lifted at a second’s notice. 

“I don’t know why you don’t just hook it over your shoulder.” Ellie snorts, her backpack bouncing slightly on her back from the steps that seem so unencumbered by worry. Why should she worry when there are two fully armed adults on either side of her. Her own personal guard in a manner of speaking. “There hasn’t been anything out here for daaaaaays.” She drags the word out like it's the most horrible thing in the world that it’s been peaceful. 

Joel snorts, rolling his eyes as you glance over at him and then look back out at the surrounding terrain. “Yeah, that’s why we are on guard.” He grunts, even though his own rifle is on his shoulder. His hand gripped the shoulder sling loosely but he had only just put it up there half an hour ago after you had taken your turn relaxing as much as you can. “it’s too fucking quiet.” 

He’s right. After the disasters that had been Kansas City, you had tried to avoid major cities, but even in the small towns, you had come across plenty of cordyceps and clickers. You hate the clickers with a passion.

The isolation can account for a lot of the silence. Miles stretching between remnants of civilization. The crumbling buildings and overgrown roads give the entire midwest a sense of peace. It’s unnerving. 

Your grip adjusts, head rolling around your shoulders slightly to try to loosen the knot that builds up in your shoulders after so long. The weight of your pack isn’t as heavy as it should be, the rations not exactly filling since you had to escape that one clicker in Du Bois, Nebraska. Your pack had been ripped and most of the food you had been carrying was lost. 

You glance over at Joel, noticing the way his shoulders seem to hang, almost a reflection of the way you feel. “We need to risk a larger town.” You murmur quietly, knowing that his first instinct will be to argue with you. You stumble slightly over a rock and hiss when you feel the hole in the sole of your boots. 

“Too dangerous.” Joel snorts, shaking his head even as he watches you regain your footing. “I’ve got some duct tape in my bag.” He reminds you, knowing that you should probably reinforce that shoe before you lose the sole all together. 

“It’s not just shoes.” You protest, trying to ignore the way that Ellie groans obnoxiously loud and stomps her foot. 

“Come on, man!” She throws her own arguments into the ring. “I need tampons! We could find them if there was jack shit out here, but there’s not. Do you want me to attract wild animals?” She presses, glaring at Joel who looks equal parts horrified and unconvinced. She cracks an evil grin. “Circling us in the wild as I just leave behind a trail of blood? Aaaaand tears.” She adds, lifting her brows. “Periods are really emotional things.” 

Biting your lip to keep from snorting, you watch as Joel; normally stoic, no bullshit Joel, can’t seem to string together the words to respond. His eyes slide over to you, almost pleading with you to say something. 

Your brows lift in question and he twitches slightly, his dark eyes unhappy with you not immediately jumping in to save him. “We could use the food if we can find any.” You rationalize, smirking when his brows pinch together and he looks like he had just been betrayed. 

“Clean underwear!” Ellie adds. “Or….cleaner. And a heavier fucking coat.” She shivers slightly and you can see that is the moment when Joel caves. He acts like a prick most of the time, but he’s got a soft spot for the kid. He won’t admit, maybe not even to himself, but he looks over at the faded and nearly rusted out sign. 

You continue walking, not pressing any more and you can hear the grumbling thoughts that are rolling through Joel’s mind. The now half hearted protests about why this is such a bad idea but you wait for the sigh. 

Almost even with the sign is when it comes, heavy and it sounds almost pained. Like he is going against everything he believes in. “Stop.” He huffs, shuffling to pull his bag off his back and kneeling down with a groan and the small pops of fifty plus year old knees. Unzipping the pocket where he keeps the Atlas and flips the worn pages to Nebraska. Glancing back at the road behind you and then at the sign before looking at the map. Tracing the route that you had already traveled before looking ahead at the towns that were on highway 77. 

Ellie doesn’t say a word but she practically bounces on her toes as she waits for his decision. You know that he’s going to agree, it’s just a matter of which town he chooses. He knows the truth of the situation. Winter is going to come quicker than any of you want, your food supply is low, you could probably all use a new set of boots, and all of you would kill for a halfway decent musty mattress to sleep on. Four walls and a hopefully non-leaking roof over your heads would be the icing on the cake. 

“Wymore is coming up in fifty-eight miles.” He taps the map and looks up at you to see what you think. 

Ellie shuffles slightly and instead of grinning, you crane your neck to look at the map yourself. “It looks like it’s bigger than the last few towns, but at least it’s not like we are running into Lincoln.” You hum before you nod. “I say we try.”

“Yessssss!” The teenager pumps her fist in excitement and she grins when Joel rolls his eyes. You’ve noticed that like any normal teenager, her favorite activity is annoying any kind of parental unit and pushing boundaries. This applies to Joel whether or not he likes it. “I want to find another joke book too.” 

Joel groans but you just turn around, grinning yourself as Joel mumbles under his breath, stuffing the map back in his pack and zipping it up. Joel and Ellie are alike in a lot of ways, especially their penchant for mumbling. 

You resist the urge to offer him a hand up, knowing he will be even more pissy if you do. For someone who complains about being older, he gets downright grouchy when he’s reminded of that same fact. “Well then, the quicker we get there, the quicker we don’t have to hear ‘are we there yet?’.” You snort, making Ellie grin shamelessly as she shrugs, knowing she will do exactly that. 

“So let’s get going.” She doesn’t wait for anyone, just setting off down the road and leaving the two of you to catch up with her. 

****

It takes you nearly three days to get to Wymore. All of you are tired, but Joel is the one who barely sleeps, even when you force him to lay down. It’s as if he cannot stop trying to protect Ellie, and also you, long enough for him to rest. He gets upset when he has to sleep, staying up until he is nodding off. The coffee supply has been exhausted and it’s probably a good thing. He would drink it all day to the point where his hands would shake from too much caffeine. Still he just wouldn’t trust you to make sure that no one snuck up on you for a few hours until he was past the point of being useless. 

The first signs of the town are a welcomed relief but it’s also an added source of tension. Each mile that you had traveled had added to the fear that this might be the time that you fail. That something goes wrong and someone else dies. The road here has not been easy and the losses have weighed heavily on all of you. Joel still won’t even mention Tess and you hate it when you wake up in the early morning hours to find him staring down at the broken face of his watch with a look that breaks your heart. 

Every approach into a new area can mean danger, either from the clickers or from humans and honestly you don’t know which one you fear more. Your gun is back in your hand, the weight of it familiar and comforting as you pass the first gas station, the windows busted out and dried fungus clinging to the building. 

“Fuck.” You hiss, uneasy at the presence of the fungal vines, even if they look like they aren’t active.

“I wonder why it looks pink.” Ellie frowns as she squints at the building. “It’s usually an ugly brown color, right?” She looks towards Joel for confirmation, but he’s busy frowning at the building himself. 

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea.” If the cordyceps have spread this far out of town then there’s a possibility there are still active branches closer to the supplies that you are looking for. 

“Come on man.” Ellie groans, kicking a dirt clod. “There’s nothing for miles. It’s probably all dead.” 

You know that Ellie is probably right, but it’s a risk. You bite your lip, looking over at Joel. “Why don’t we sweep the town and we can see?” You ask, knowing that if everything is dead, you could desperately use the rest. Cordyceps rarely return en masse when the vines have withered and died. It could be a safe place to recharge and for Joel to sleep for more than ten minutes at a time. 

You’ve stopped walking as you talk, Joel looking around as he contemplates your alternatives. To be honest, there aren’t many and both of you know it. Not without a lot of backtracking which none of you want to do. 

Joel sighs and you know that he’s going to agree. He turns to Ellie. “Don’t fucking touch anything until we say it’s alright.” He points at her for good measure, as if his finger would impress the importance of his words. “Got it?” 

“Got it.” She huffs. “Jesus, you act like we haven’t done this before.” You roll your eyes and look away, knowing you shouldn’t encourage her right now. 

It takes hours to make your way into the center of town. Not because you are blocked by clickers or avoiding humans, it’s because you are stocking up. It’s like the fungus took over this town and just let it rot. Nothing inside the first few blocks of town is disturbed. No looting has been done here, plenty of supplies to be had. 

Both you and Joel have been cautious but slowly optimistic as you’ve found boots and heavy jackets, gloves and hats. A new pair of clothes have been rolled into everyone’s bags and you’ve even grabbed another pack to fill with the mylar sealed packs of camping food from the sporting goods store. It was a miracle that nothing had been ransacked, but it makes you wonder exactly what the fuck happened here. Did the army sweep through and round up all the residents right away? It would make sense, but then why were there dead spores of the fungus here? You haven’t seen one body so far and it makes you nervous. 

“This place is a fucking gold mine.” Ellie grins like a kid in a candy store, perhaps because you’ve actually found candy and she has been sucking on the jolly ranchers until the top of her mouth is raw. “Now we just need to find a place to sleep. I want my own room.” 

Glancing over at Joel, you expect him to immediately tell her no, but he doesn’t say a word. Continuing to look around like he is expecting a clicker to pop out from the doorway of the local McDonald’s, now completely covered in that strange pink fungus. It’s like he doesn’t even hear her as he frowns at the building. 

She takes that as approval and immediately starts talking about how she’s going to spread out. Making you snort when she talks about sitting in her underwear for an hour. There hasn’t been a lot of privacy out here on the road, so you can understand that desire. 

“Joel.” You murmur his name softly, knowing that the best thing you can do is to find the motel and get settled down for the night before the sun sets. Even if this town is as safe as it appears on the surface, you would rather not be fumbling around in the dark . He doesn’t look over at you, still staring at the overgrown building as if it’s holding the secret. Maybe it reminds him of the Boston Museum, ominously covered with the tentacles of the fungus and the horrors that you had found inside it. “Joel!”

“What?” His head whips around, body tense as he’s ripped out of his thoughts. Relaxing when he finds you and Ellie staring at him. “We need to find the motel.” You remind him, nodding towards the sun getting lower in the sky. “I think we could all use a good night’s sleep.” 

He stares at you for a moment, his eyes searing your face, looking for some hidden meaning beneath your words before he glances over at an eager Ellie. “Yeah, sure.” He agrees, adjusting his rifle to sling it onto his shoulder and adjusts his now much heavier pack on his back. “Probably on the other side of the main drag.” 

His new boots thump against the cracked pavement. The roads leading deeper into the town is the guide towards what will hopefully be a comfortable bed and at least eight hours of sleep. 

Your own new boots feel pretty good, but maybe a day or so here, going through supplies and really making sure that you can take on the coming winter would be a good thing. Allowing you to break in the shoes without blisters. You’ll have to talk about it with Joel after Ellie sequesters herself for the night. 

It’s about another fifteen minutes before you get to the small motel that looks like it will be a good place to spend the night. Half the building is covered in another large cluster of the fungus, the pink hue looking particularly bright in the fading sun. 

“We’ll get some keys.” It will be better than breaking down doors, especially since the motel wasn’t equipped with the keycards that the high end hotels had started switching to before society came crashing down. 

The bad news is that the motel doesn’t have any adjoining rooms, so Joel and Ellie get into a small spat about her having her own room, Ellie eventually winning after promising that she will block the door with a dresser and he’s allowed to sweep the room before she locks herself in. Half the building is so overtaken by the vivid pink fungus that you swear looks like a big splat of bubblegum thrown over the walls. 

She doesn’t even want to have dinner with you and Joel, making the man go through the room and then telling you both goodnight and shutting the door in your face. Making you laugh as Joel frowns at the door, rethinking this entire situation. 

“Well, you can have a room to yourself too.” You offer, smirking as he cuts his eyes towards you. You know that Joel would rather everyone sleep where he can keep his eyes on them, so you getting privacy is off the table. 

“Shut up.” Joel grunts, walking down towards the next room and kicking it open, watchful even though you’ve both already been in the room and deposited your bags. It’s a nice room, two double beds so each one of you can stretch out and relax. 

You laugh quietly and decide to walk down the railing towards the portion of the building that has been overtaken by the fungus. Your curiosity about this variant is finally getting the best of you and you want to get a better look at it. 

It’s thick. The tendril that is draped over the metal railing of the second floor, wrapping around it and up the support column. You bite your lip, tilting your head when you see the withered remnants of some kind of flower. What kind of fungus sprouts flowers?

You jump when something touches your back, whirling around to find Joel behind you, holding his hands up. He smirks at you, his eyes crinkling in amusement. “Fuck you.” You hiss, narrowing your eyes and he huffs. “What are you doing?” He asks. 

Turning back towards the fungus, you sigh. “This is different from any other kind I’ve ever seen.” You comment, stepping closer to it only to feel Joel reach for your arm to pull you back. “It’s dried out.” You remind him, jerking your head towards the husk of the cordyceps. “Have you ever seen anything like this?” You know that he spent a lot of time sneaking out of the Boston QZ, it’s possible he had seen it before. 

He grunts, relaxing his hold on you and he shuffles slightly closer, looking at the flower buds that extend from the tendrils. His own suspicions about anything fungus related is deep, but it’s dried. “I haven’t.” He admits after a moment, narrowing his eyes slightly and trying to think if there is any reason why this pink coloring has the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. 

“So it’s something new.” You bite your lip and lean in, feeling the disapproval radiate off of Joel in hot waves but you ignore him. Tilting your head and reaching out to touch one of the dried flowers. 

“Don’t-”

The second your finger touches the wilted bloom, it bursts open, spurting you and Joel behind you in a cloud of pink dust. You gasp, holding your breath but there’s no hope for not inhaling the pollen. 

“Fuck!” Joel coughs, shaking his head and backing up so quickly he hits the side of the building and reaches out to drag you away from the lingering cloud of dust and starts to practically beat it off the two of you. “We need- we need-” He leans over and starts coughing, obviously having inhaled just as much of it as you had. 

“We’re okay.” You gasp, shaking your head and brushing the dust off your clothes. “We- it’s dead. Right?” You hate that you are asking that, but you hadn’t expected that from a dried out fungus.

“It- we should clean up.” Joel blinks, the pollen making his eyes itch and that has to be the cause of the rush of heat that slides over him. It’s just adrenaline. Fear. Anything that would scare both of you would make the slight nip in the air disappear and make you feel like your skin is superheated.

The water is gravity fed. The large cisterns on the roof are still full and while it’s not warm, perhaps a cold shower might be better right now. Joel drags you both to the room and locks the door, although he doesn’t push a dresser in front of it in case Ellie needs you in the night. 

In the bathroom, you are shaking as you start to strip down, worrying about how stupid you just were and if you completely fucked yourself. The anxious fear covering the way your skin seems to burn and feel so sensitive to everything. Shuddering when your hand brushes over your thigh as you push your jeans down and kick them off before you pull your shirt over your head and remove your bra. 

Clean up. Get the pollen off your skin and cool down. Your body seems to be working on overdrive. Your nipple hard under the cold water and instead of gasping in shock, you moan softly. Enjoying the sensation and reaching for the bar of soap that is still wrapped in plastic. 

Hurry up, hurry up. Joel paces around the room, his hands curled into fists. Practically sweating even though the air is cool as the sun sets. His body feels like it’s on fire, like he is battling a sickness. 

Over and over again, he goes through the symptoms of the infection of the cordyceps, there’s no veining, he’s stopped and checked his eyes and reflection in the peeling mirror about twenty times in the five minutes you’ve been in the bathroom. And he doesn’t fucking think the fungus makes his cock harder than a fucking rock in his jeans. 

He’s not thought about sex in months. Nothing beyond fleeting moments of attraction to you that he swiftly buries under guilt and responsibility. Normally, it is when you’re bent over and your ass is presented to him in such a way that he thinks about sinking into you from behind, or when your shirt pulls tight over your breasts and he imagines cupping them in his hands as you sit on his cock. Immediately dismissed and ignored as he reminds himself of how he had failed Tess, he doesn’t deserve to find warmth and comfort in your arms. 

Now, it’s all he can think about. The urge to palm his cock makes his fingers twitch and he almost moves his hand over his crotch before he flinches back to reality and tries to examine his face in the mirror again, wondering if his eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep or if he is infected. 

Scrubbing your body is nearly painful, wanting to stop and touch yourself, but you can’t. You need to get this done and get out so Joel can shower. Still, despite the cold water, you feel like you are on fire when you shut off the water and realize that you didn’t bring your bag into the bathroom. You will have to go out there in nothing because you can’t put those clothes back on. Not until they have been washed. 

Moderately dry, you hear Joel bang on the door. “Hurry up.” He growls, making you clench your thighs together at the raspy tone and hating how it spears through you. You know Joel isn’t interested in you, hasn’t ever looked at you like that and the crush that you had on the man had been buried deep. 

“I’m done.” You don’t have a chance to be embarrassed as you open the door and Joel practically shoves past you into the bathroom and slams it behind him. “Fuck.” Your annoyance cools the heat for a moment, but it’s only temporary. 

The water is icy, but still, Joel curls his hands into fists against the shower wall. He’s fucking hard. Harder than he had probably ever been in his entire life, even when he was a horny teenager and would have fucked anyone who let him between their thighs. He’s not felt like this ever. The need to touch himself builds to the point where his hips are rocking into thin air against the spray of the water. Want clawing up his throat and pooling in his stomach in a heavy knot. 

You don’t dress, you can’t. Crawling under the covers of one of the beds, you listen to Joel groan in the bathroom, it’s muted over the sound of the shower but it’s sexy. All of his sounds are sexy, from the low grunts he gives when he’s stiff and sore, to the huffs and groans of annoyance. It’s all sexy to you. The rasp of his voice when he’s not spoken for a few hours. 

Closing your eyes, it’s easy to give in, to let your hands drift over your skin. He’s not here, you can take care of this frantic need that is swirling inside you. You just need to slide your hand between your thighs and ease it. It wouldn’t take much more than a few swipes of your fingers against your pulsing and aching clit. 

Trying to fight it, you concentrate on your breathing, in and out. Inhaling slowly and holding it so you can exhale when the burn in your lungs tells you that you’ve reached your limit. It helps, but not much. Not when you’re imagining Joel in his shower. Touching him. Being free to touch him and having his hands on your body in return. 

Your hands slip over your breasts, squeezing them hard enough to moan softly and your legs shift to press together. Clenching around nothing and wishing that you were full while your hands start to move down over your stomach. 

The first touch is almost a relief, your entire core quivering as your fingers press against your clit. It’s overwhelming and not enough. You need more, fingertips pressing and rubbing around the puffed up bundle of nerves. You’re already soaked and can feel it dripping down your slit. 

Spurred on by that insatiable need, you slide your fingers around your entrance and start to press them inside. Biting your lip to keep yourself from moaning. Imagining that it’s more, that it’s a cock that is starting to break you open and fill that void that is aching. 

You are so caught up in the bliss of that first stretch of your fingers that you don’t hear the shower turn off. The quiet curses coming from the bathroom are muffled by the rush of blood in your ears, the feeling of relief coursing through your nerves and taking over. You don’t hear the click of the lock and the turn of the handle. The door opening doesn't even register as you plant your heels on the bed and push your hips up, needing to get your fingers deeper, not quite reaching the spot inside you that craves fullness. 

You don’t hear him until he chokes out a sound that is pained and low, like he’s injured. Your eyes pop open as you lurch up off the bed, your fingers ripping themselves out of your cunt hard enough to make you whimper. Fixed on Joel’s towel draped body, tented over his waist. 

“Joel, I-” “Fuuuuuck.” He growls, his eyes closing and his hands bunches into fists, one holding his towel and the other by his side. “I’ve tried to not think about you, about touching you.” His words are rasped out, strained against his vocal cords. “I’ve goddamn beat into my brain that you aren’t to be thought about this way and now, I can’t stop.” His stomach clenches and his body twitches as he struggles to keep still. 

Your chest heaves and you see his eyes drop down to your uncovered tits. His jaw clenching and his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he swallows. “I - I need to touch myself.” You admit breathlessly. “I - it hurts so bad and I need something inside me.” 

Joel groans again, shuddering so violently that you can see him shake from where you are. “I’ve jerked off in the shower twice and it's still hard.” He drops the towel, revealing his hard and leaking cock, making you whimper at the sight and clench around nothing. “I think that- that we- that the flower-” “I don’t care.” You moan, shaking your head and crawling to your knees and shuffling forward. Showing him all of you and so goddamn desperate to touch him that you think you are about to explode. “Touch me, Joel. Fuck, touch me, please.” You beg, your hands on your own body. “We-” He shakes his head and his face changes, morphs into pain.

“Fuck me.” You hiss, watching as his resolve breaks. His cock bounces as he lunges for you, hard and swift, driving you back to the bed with a bounce. Almost as if he is attacking you. 

He’s not gentle. His mouth finding yours in a harsh kiss, your permission unleashing the coils of restraint that he had tried to put on himself. His grip bruises as he hauls you up the bed and settles between your thighs. 

You’ve always attributed Joel with rough gentleness. The type of man who would make you ache and then hold you close. Groaning in pleasure when you find out that is exactly what Joel Miller is like. His hands spreading your thighs with a desperation that proves he is just as afflicted by this fungal pollen as you are. His cock hard and pressing against your folds as he rocks his hips forward to line up. Almost unable to find the hole with his eagerness to sink into you. 

“Joel, hurry.” Your hands shake, holding onto him and urging him closer to you, frantic with need now that you know that you are going to have him inside you. 

“Goddamn, I’m trying.” He hisses, hating to let you go so he can take his cock in hand. Rocking into his own grip as he shuttles his hips forward. “I’m fuckin’ trying, sweetheart.” 

You whimper when you finally feel him pressing against your entrance, choking out a sound of need that is animalistic. Only to cry out in bliss as he pushes inside you without another delay. 

He groans, eyes cinched shut as he slides inside you to the hilt, burying himself in your heat and feeling that coil in his stomach tighten even more now that your walls are around him. Immediately starting to move just as soon as he fills you, driving by that need and burning in his very veins. 

It’s exquisite, the pain and pleasure blending and fusing in your stomach, nerves alight and responding to every small movement. You can’t get enough of him, you need more. Wrapping  your legs around his hips, you rise to meet his harsh thrusts. Clenching down around him every time he hits that spot deep inside you that you couldn’t reach with your fingers. 

He shouldn’t be inside you, he shouldn’t be touching you, but now that he is, he can’t stop. Turning his head, he presses his lips to yours and slides his tongue into your mouth. Needing more. Kissing you like he had imagined a thousand times before. Giving into every urge he has had since the day he met you and repressed before right now. Snapping his hips forward sharply and pulling every groan out of your mouth to swallow down. 

Every thrust makes it better, eases that burning in your core, your cunt slick and squelching every time he drives into you. He absorbs every sound you make, almost greedy for them. His hips jarring as they slam into you. Rocking you both up the bed. 

“Oh god,” breaking away from the kiss, you moan into his ear. Closing your eyes as he pants and puffs while he fucks you. “So deep, so deep, Joel.” Your nails drag down his back, making him hiss in pleasure and pain. 

“Shit.” He groans your name, lost in the rhythm of his thrusts and the building pressure. “You needed this?” He growls, making you clench down around him hard and whimper his name. “Yessss.” You agree, nodding against the pillow. “Needed it so bad.” 

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight.” He huffs, burying his face against your neck. Continuing to pound into you, and not letting up even though his back is screaming in pain. His body won’t let him do anything but rock his hips. Driven by a need that overrides everything else. 

His words make you burn, making you even more desperate for him. Your hips rock up and legs tightening around his waist even more. Loving how his cock stretches you out and scrubs against every nerve in your cunt. Lighting up your body until you are gasping on the edge of that much needed orgasm. 

Every plunge into your body brings him closer to cumming, desperate to feel that emptiness, that wrung out filling once he has filled you. He shouldn’t cum inside you, he knows that, but he’s not going to be able to stop himself. He can barely pull back enough to rock his hips back into you. 

His arms have banded around you, holding you into place as he fucks you. Deep and primal, as if he is trying to fuse the two of you into one. His cock punches into the depths of your body that you never imagined anyone reaching, but he touches it with ease. Your body pulsing with that need to come apart. 

“So close, I’m so close, baby.” You whine, body starting to tremble underneath him. “So close.” Your nails dig into his shoulder, grounding yourself to him in desperation. “Joel.” 

“I gotcha.” He groans, eyes closed and his breath fanning against your skin. “I’mma take good care of you, sweetheart.” He promises. “You’re gonna cum all over my cock, ain’t cha? Just like you wanted.” 

His words throw you over the edge, that need built up so tight inside you that it busts on the next thrust. Lights careen and collide behind your eyes, bright and beautiful as your whole body ignites into pleasure like you’ve never experienced before. Crying out loudly and soaking  him in a wave of your juices. Cumming harder than you ever have before. 

Joel growls your name, his hips stuttering as you come apart around you. Unable to hold back any longer. He buries himself deep into your hot passage and paints your walls with sticks ropes of his seed. Panting against your lips as he empties himself body and perhaps his very soul into you. 

Both of you pant, relieved and exhausted from the pure exertion of need as you had taken from each other. Joel presses into you, trying to catch his breath, but the fire is still burning low in his belly, his cock still not softening as it twitches inside you. 

“Oh fuck.” You feel that same desire still curling in your stomach, not satisfied by the intensity of the orgasm that you are still coming down from. “Joel-” 

He huffs and shakes his head. “Don’t-” he presses his lips to your again, body screaming as he starts to move again. “Shhhhhh.” 

The need still burns and both of you are still locked in its fiery grip, not yet free from the desire that washed over you from a burst of pollen. 

****

“What the fuck man, open the door!” The thudding on the door finally penetrates the bone deep sleep you had finally fallen into. You don’t know how many time Joel fucked you, or how many times he had spend himself inside you as you blearily open your eyes. 

Joel grunts, slowly opening his own eyes and unwinding himself from the tangled together position that you had passed out in. The knocking on the door keeps on. “Joel!” Your name is also shouted, Ellie starting to sound somewhat panicked when neither one of you is immediately opening the door. 

“Fuck! I’m coming.” He drags the top blanket off the bed and wraps it around his waist before flinging the door opened to blink into the harshness of the sun. “What?” He growls roughly, making Ellie’s eyes blow wide with shock.

“Holy shit, what happened to you?” She demands, pushing into the room and stopping short when she sees you sitting up in the only bed that has been disturbed, the sheet anchored beneath your armpits. “Oh shit, you fucked.” She gasps, turning and shooting Joel an impressed grin. “Way to go, old man, you made a move.” Her grin quickly turns into an expression of mild disgust when she realizes that she’s congratulating you two on having sex. “Uh, I’m gonna go now.” She huffs, wrinkling her nose and pinching it. “It smells in here.” Waving her hand in front of her face, she darts back out the door and Joel just stands there for a moment before he rolls his eyes and goes to shut the door before he thinks better of it. Sticking his head out of the room, he shouts after Ellie. “Stay away from the fucking fungus!” 

You snort, grinning to yourself as your body starts to ache. Fucking fungus indeed. 

[hellishjoel]

off to the races

6.3k / dbf!joel x f!reader

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4

series summary: You and your parents rent a lakeside cabin, Joel and Sarah Miller are your neighbors. You’re all grown up, and you’ll do anything to prove to Joel you’re a woman now. 

warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), NO OUTBREAK, neighbor!joel, age gap (reader is in their early 20’s while Joel is in his 40’s), alcohol consumption, slight daddy issues lol, cursing, use of pet names, dominant!joel, maybe a lil brat tamer!joel, oral sex (m receiving), a lil praise kink, a lil degradation kink, facial, etc. you know ;)

A/N: needed to get cool slutty daddy out of my system. He’s just a Lana coded man!! I plan on turning this into a series, I hope it get's some love! let me know what you think by sending me an ask!

Your desperate eyes met his, trying to gauge what he thought. You hated how you looked like you wanted him so bad. He was your neighbor, your friend’s dad, but you wanted him to be something for you too.  “I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doin-”  His words made your chest go tight and your eyes filled with pure horror. What have you done?! “But you need to be the one to walk away, because I don’t think I can.”

Summers in Danbury were what you looked forward to all year long when you were younger. You would love the long drive to the lakeside cabin, swimming in the dazzling blue water all day, and catching fireflies at night before ending it with roasting s'mores over the campfire. 

Now, all Danbury reminded you of were your parents stripping your feeling of independence as soon as you stepped in their embrace and the lack of cell service. 

It wasn’t all that bad, though. Who were you to complain about an all-expense paid vacation on the water? Your parents were fine, you just graduated from university, everything was just.. good. It almost made you a little bored, thinking about the impending summer. 

The warm sun’s kiss on your skin was a welcomed greeting after spending the past 9 months away at school out of state, your eyes twinkling below your sunglasses as you stepped out of the car. It was good to be back in Texas.

“Look, there she is!” Your dad cooed as he was eager to point out the sign that sat beside the entrance of the cabin that read ‘Life is Better at the Cabin’. Cheesy. It wasn’t your choice of decor since it was just a rental property, but still. You also despised the ‘The Secret Ingredient is Always Love’ sign in the kitchen. 

You plopped your bags down at the end of your bed, the one just down the hall from your parents, quick to plug in your phone charger though it made little difference with your lack of a strong signal. 

You turned your head to the window, seeing an old, beaten pickup truck turn onto gravel, a small smile peaking on your lips. 

“Hey, look who it is!” Your dad cheered eagerly from the living room, appearing to also be gazing out the window at the sight coming down the road and pulling into the house next to yours. 

The truck in question belonged to Joel Miller and his daughter, Sarah. Sarah had been your close friend each and every summer since you were little. You two were attached at the hip once your family started vacationing here, despite her being a fair five years younger. You two got along nonetheless. 

You stepped outside to greet them, as your mother and father were already out doing, your face lighting up as Sarah made a b-line to your embrace. “Oh my god! Look at you!” She praised, her eyes lighting up at your appearance. 

You two didn’t get the chance to spend the past few summers together due to business with school or internships on your part, so her surprise in seeing you a few years grown up was warranted. 

“Look at me? Look at you!” You said through punched lungs as she hugged you so tight you were losing your breath. 

If you thought Sarah’s tight hug was bad, you weren’t prepared to see what was waiting on the other side of the pickup truck. 

Your lips parted at the sight of Joel Miller. He was sort of… handsome. Was that wrong to think that? I mean, he was so much older than you, someone’s dad, Sarah’s dad. You tried not to let your eyes linger for too long but his voice pitched into the conversation and you had been caught. 

“Hey, Skids.” Ugh. That dreaded nickname you had yet to wear off. “Haven’t seen you these past few summers. Happy to be done with school?” Joel’s southern drawl was a shock to your system after being up in the Midwest for school. 

He was tall and rugged, so unkempt. His hair was tousled everywhere and his beard was growing with salt and pepper stippling through the landscape of his jawline. He looked hot, the faint glisten and stain of sweat marking the collar of his shirt and at the sides of his biceps. 

You blinked a few times before a graceful smile fluttered on your lips.

“Hi, Mr. Miller.” You gently cooed. What? If he could call you by that horrid nickname he had given you when you were barely ten, you could call him by his surname. Your eyes caught his own shift, his jaw twitching at his name being called like that. It was just his name after all, right? 

“Joel.” He corrected with a raised eyebrow, your eyes finally dragging themselves away from his handsome character as they turned to your parents, who were obsessing over Sarah. She was about to go into her senior year of high school, so of course, they had all of the basic questions to ask her. Are you taking any advanced classes? Are you still on the swim team? Do you know where you want to go to college?

You tried to look interested, but you could still feel Joel’s gravitating stare in your direction. 

You were just imagining things, right? He was looking one foot over, to Sarah and your family. Except he wasn’t. You know because you snuck a casual glance over to him, and he was still on you. His gaze alone made a shiver travel up your spine. 

While Sarah and your parents were nestled in their own world of conversation, you take a few subtle steps away and join him by his truck. It still felt warm, the engine relaxing after a good drive in the Texas heat. 

“You need a new truck. She looks like she’s on her deathbed.” You point out, the one corner of his mouth tugging up as he kept his eye on Sarah and your folks with his arms crossed in front of his broad chest. 

“She’s just fine.” He retorts nonchalantly. You hated that about him. You could never figure out what he was thinking, unpredictable but not exactly chaotic. 

“She?” You asked with raised eyebrows. “I always knew you had a special woman in your life. Didn’t know she was so old, though.” You egged him on, your favorite pastime in the summers; Grinding the gears of an old man who had a bigger attitude than you most days. 

“You still have quite the mouth on you. Glad to see that hasn’t changed.” Joel said sarcastically as he pushed himself off the front of the truck with his hip, his head nodding off to the side in a silent way of telling you to follow him. You watched as he pulled down the tailgate, rust screeching until it stopped with a generous thump. 

“Supposed to be Sarah helping me with this, but since she’s busy being Miss Danbury, you can help me.” He said as he pointed to some firewood and other bigger pieces of wood in varying sizes. 

“What do you plan on doing with all this wood anyway? I think the Amazon is looking for it.” You huffed but climbed up into the back of the truck bed without him asking you to. His protective hand instinctively guided your hip for stability, and you felt a rush of air pump through your lungs. “Thanks.” You murmur before you start reaching for stacks you could handle. 

“Sarah wanted to throw y'all a bonfire with it being your first day back for the summer or what have you.” Before you could stop yourself, you were already cooing at him as you jumped down from the tailgate, watching as Joel gave a tight face of annoyance. Don’t do that, you’re gonna get yourself hurt. 

It took Joel all of two seconds to grab two of the larger cut pieces, throwing each of them onto his shoulders. You couldn’t help but stare at his biceps that cradled the wood, the tan skin and muscles popping out of the dark green t-shirt he wore. Focus, focus, focus, focus, focusfocusfocus. 

“And the bigger pieces? What are those for?” You asked out of sheer curiosity now once he threw them down in the back of his lawn, the sight of your parents and Sarah long gone. 

He shrugged and shook his head, his hands on his hips as a layer of sweat started to build up around his hairline. “Just carvin’ projects. The rest can be used for scrap lumber around the lake properties.” His head finally turned to look at you, his eyes raking you up and down for a moment before nodding to your lake house rental. “Doin’ property maintenance over the summer on the houses ‘round here.”

“So if we need maintenance, we call you now?” You asked with a dubious face, to which he nodded. 

This man never stopped. It made sense, you supposed. You reflected on the summers in the past, knowing Joel to manage his own contracting business and picking up odd jobs around town. You remember one summer, he redid the flooring of an old bakery in town and then built custom shelves for the loaves of bread and bagels. Another summer, he repaved people’s driveways with blacktop. He was a laborer, a blue-collar man through and through. 

“That’s right, Skids.” The nickname made you scowl at him again, but you wouldn’t mind seeing Joel Miller laid under your kitchen sink or repairing the window in your bedroom so it could finally let in some fresh air. Frankly, you just wouldn’t mind seeing Joel Miller. 

After Joel reclaimed his daughter from your parents with a snarky yet subtle, Thanks for all your help, kiddo to Sarah, he said goodbye to you and your family as everyone parted ways back to their own homes. 

-

You were tired from the drive, but you didn’t lack attendance to the bonfire Sarah was putting together specifically for you in a welcome back to Danbury! sort of celebration. She invited the other nearby neighbors, so by the time you finally joined, it was packed with people sitting around the fire. People who lived on the lake loved a good party, anything with beer to keep them occupied. 

It was a lot of talking and bottles clinking, marshmallows on sticks, and a crackling fire blazing at the center of everyone. You weren’t one for beer but Sarah insisted on feeding you bottle after bottle. 

She liked sharing secrets with you, away from her dad. She considered you someone she could tell anything to. And you felt the same way. So not more than half an hour later, you two were giggling and sitting on the tailgate of Joel’s old pickup truck when you saw him start to saunter over.  You saw him coming first, snatching Sarah’s bottle out of her hand and taking a sharp inhale as you hid away your own. Sarah’s secret, right? 

“Dad,” she playfully whined when he came over to bust their little party. 

He was silent for a moment before he looked at the dwindling flames. “Fire’s gettin’ low.” He pointed out, looking between the two of you.

His face was lit up in a mix of gold hue from the fire and silver from the moon. His face had this intensity, a bucked-out jawline, cheekbone, and nose. It was like he was carved from stone. 

Sarah was silent, not wanting to leave behind her friends at the bonfire to shuffle over more wood. You softly nodded as you took a swig of her beer bottle in your hand before setting it down once you hopped off the truck bed. 

“I can help.” You offered. Joel looked down at you hesitantly, sneaking a glance to where your parents sat around the growing circle of people.

“Yeah.. yeah, ‘lright.” Joel said as the two of you walked off to the dividing line on his property, the wood you had dropped carelessly earlier in the day now in a neat stack. You certainly weren’t drunk, but slamming Sarah’s beer along with the other ones she ushered you before was now messing with your head, the edges of your vision a little fuzzy, especially in the dark since the glow of the bonfire was at such a distance. 

Before you knew it, you were stacking the wood into your arms, too much maybe. Joel called out your name in a warning tone. 

“No, I got it! See?” You tried to reason with a cocky smile as he shook his head. 

“You don’t like to listen.” He gruffly said as he started picking up the smaller pieces as they fell out of your arms. 

You couldn’t help the playful scoff that left your lips, still insistent on stacking more in your arms, going as far as tucking some in your elbows but all they did was drop at your feet once you went to reach for more. 

“Stop bein’ so damn difficult.” He piped up again as he snagged your wrist, halting your movements. 

“Yeah? I thought you liked difficult women.” Your words were fast like a whip, your eyes challenging his own as the two of you shared unnecessarily long eye contact. 

“Drop-- the wood. Stop bein’ a-” 

“A what?” You challenged. The distance between you two suddenly felt like it was becoming air-tight, his eyes narrowing on yours as his features hardened. He didn’t look mad, lord knows you’d never want to actually make Joel Miller mad. He just looked-- provoked. 

“A brat.” He finally bit, your teeth clenching at the name. The shock of it all made your arms finally burst open like a dam breaching with water, all of them falling to your feet as you let out an involuntary squeal. God, you did not want him to hear that noise leave you like that. 

You finally tugged away your wrist from his hand, your eyes leaving his daggered gaze to examine your palm that had a decent size splinter plunged into the center of it. 

“Shit,” You swore, feeling whatever heat you had left in your body pooling to your stringing finger. 

You heard Joel let out a debated sigh before he took you by your wrist, much more gentle this time, and tried to bring it up closer to his eyes to examine it. 

“Can’t see for shit out here.” He grumbled. You couldn’t see it either but you could feel right where it spread searing pain through the rest of your hand. 

“I got some tweezers in my workshop, I’ll get it out.” Joel offered as he started walking a few paces but you let out an involuntary whimper at the sound of him taking it out. 

“You don’t want that to get infected, do you?” He asked with a true voice of reason, to which you let out a sigh of agreement and followed him to his workshop.

You had only been inside Joel’s workshop a handful of times. You remember once your dad dragged you over so he could talk to Joel about his truck, and you had to wait there and wait there until they finished gabbing. Another time was when you explored it on your own, your eyes fascinated by the little world he surrounded himself in. It wasn’t all wood like you’d expect it to be. He had old guns mounted on the wall, ladders hung up in the rafters, and dusty old fishing plaques that made you disgusted at the sight. It housed his tools, the same ones he had been using for years. He knew where they were by heart, not even looking when he reached for something. Everything had its place, down to the tweezers he immediately found in an old little toolbox. 

“Here,” he said as he pointed to an old metal stool as tall as your waist. You sat down on the cold metal, a little hiss of discomfort leaving you as he sighed. “Always somethin’.” Joel shook his head and offered you a spare dusty blanket, shaking your head. 

“Just-- fix my hand. Please.” You said as you displayed your palm to him, now seeing it in the light for the first time. Okay.. it didn’t actually look as bad as it felt. Joel actually smiled as he looked at the tiny sliver shoved into the skin. 

“..Might have to amputate it.” He said with a half-serious tone, as joking as Joel could sound. But there was a little glint in his eye, one of satisfaction from his own joke.  

“Joel Miller has a sense of humor? I’m surprised. And pleasantly delighted.” You teased as he huffed and shook his head, the smile that graced his lips already came and gone. Sort of. He just looked down at your hand so you couldn’t directly see it anymore. 

It took you until now to see that he changed out of his dark green shirt from this afternoon and into an old 80’s rock band shirt with a worn dark navy flannel over it. He must have showered after laboring in the Texas heat. The thought made your stomach churn in excitement. 

You shivered at how cold you felt all of a sudden, no longer by the warm fire and on this damn metal stool. You shifted uncomfortably on it, cursing yourself for wearing jean shorts. 

Joel let out an exasperated sigh as he stood up straighter and shoved off his flannel, your eyes softening at the sight. 

“You want me to take tweezers to your hand but you keep... shiftin’ around. Stand up.” He directed, and this time you didn’t debate with him. You hopped off the metal stool and he laid down the flannel. It was a nice gesture and you were grateful. You hoped the goosebumps were from the temperature, not how close he was. 

Joel pulled up another metal stool so he could steady himself, reeling himself in as close as he could and holding your palm open in his as his eyes squinted a little bit. 

You felt frozen in place, your lips parting as you slowly looked down to one of his knees that parted between your own legs. Fuck. You weren’t sure if it was the little buzz of beer still in your system but something drove you to have enough courage to gently lay your hand just above his kneecap. 

His eyes flicked up to yours, trying to read what was behind your thought process right now. He looked so confident, you feared you looked all shifty. 

You could feel the worn denim of his jeans under your palm but underneath, he was warm. He was as hot as a furnace as your body craved it. 

“The sliver.” You pointed back out, your voice smaller since you two were in such close proximity. You watched his chest heave as he took a deep breath, grumbling something under his breath before he focused back to his initial task. 

You pursed your lips as you both watched and felt the tweezers line up to the red and irritated skin, his movements precise and patient until you watched him clench the tool closed. 

You let out an involuntary breath of both relief and anticipation, just wanting it out already. 

“Hold on, just gotta make sure I..” Joel’s voice trailed off as he slowly pulled the tiny sliver from your palm, an uncomfortable whine leaving the back of your throat. 

His thigh twitched under your palm at the sound, not even realizing your hand had sunk higher up his jean-clad thigh. 

“Got it.” He finally said, swiping the tip of the tweezer on the table to display the nasty little piece of wood that had caused you all this grief. You let out a breath through your nostrils and nodded. 

“Thank God, no amputation.” You joked, to which he awarded you a small smile. 

“I’ll call the surgeon and tell ‘em to turn around. We’re good here.” Joel said as he gently released your wrist. You watched his features carefully, seeing his lips part as he glanced down to his leg that your hand still held for balance. 

“What’er you doin’?” He finally asked, his voice dropping an octave at the question. Shit. 

Don’t read this wrong, or this will be the most awkward interaction you and Joel have had to date. This is worse than when he saw you fall out of the inner tube while boating, worse than when some kid tripped you at the town barbeque, worse than when you fell off Sarah’s scooter so hard that he gave you the nickname Skids. 

“Woah, Skids! Better slow down!” God, that was so many years ago. His chuckle still echoed in your ears.

Now you were older, you were a woman. You had long legs and glowing skin, and a smile that knocked guy’s out of the fuckin’ park! But he was older too, older than you, younger than your dad but god, not by much. You were so close to him, you could inhale the distant smell of the bonfire, the one he probably made instead of Sarah. He also smelled like an old spice deodorant and fucking cigarettes. 

He was stingy, and greasy, and hot, and Joel. 

Your years of anticipation thinking about him like this was over. 

You bit down on your lower lip, your mind was foggy with the rushing in your heart,  feeling your ears pound and your palm still seared. He was a head taller than you while you sat together, and before you could stop yourself, you were leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his pulse. 

Your lips lingered around his neck for a moment, the sensitive skin of your mouth feeling beard stubble and tasting distant cologne. Your breath fanned over the skin, clammy but sweet with his sweat. 

He didn’t stop you, his eyes merely watching you carefully. 

“What’er you doin’?” He asked again, but this time, his words sounded more-- goading. Do it, I know you won’t. You’re chicken shit. If you know what you want, do it. 

Your heart raced as you nearly leaped off the stool, closing the distance between you two as you stood between his legs. Your hand moved higher on his thigh, so close that you were nearly touching the leather of his belt. Your mouth returned to the sweet spot of his pulse while your injured hand reached up to the opposite side of his neck to gently hold him there. 

“Joel,” you whispered his name breathlessly, asking him for more, feeling his head drop down beside yours. You feared you embarrassed yourself, he wasn’t reciprocating, he wasn’t--

The thoughts brewing in your head bubbled down to a boil as his firm arm wrapped itself low around your waist, keeping you to his front as he pulled down to look at you with a stern look on his face.. You were so fucked. 

Your desperate eyes met his, trying to gauge what he thought. You hated how you looked like you wanted him so bad. He was your neighbor, your friend’s dad, but you wanted him to be something for you too. 

“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doin-” 

His words made your chest go tight and your eyes filled with pure horror. What have you done?!

“But you need to be the one to walk away, because I don’t think I can.”

His words surprised you. He didn’t think he could walk away from you right now? Holy shit. 

Your heart was pumping so hard under his watchful gaze, seeing his eyes look from yours to your parted lips. But he didn’t kiss you, you don’t think you would let him. It felt too intimate. You just didn’t want another boring summer in Danbury and you were determined to have a fling. 

Who knew it would be with Joel Miller. But you wanted him. 

Your brave hands took him by the chest of his shirt, your mouth moving to his jawline as you balanced the tightrope of kissing and nibbling on the skin before your hands moved south to find his belt buckle. 

His legs naturally parted for you, catching a brief smirk on his lips as you took control of the situation. 

“Dirty girl goin’ right for my fuckin’ cock.” He whispered against the shell of your ear, a desperate nod leaving you while your cheek involuntarily rubbed against the stubble of his beard. You didn’t know he talked like that.

You initiated more space for yourself, nudging the inside of his thighs with your own legs as you had his back up against his drafting table with you no longer on his side but standing in front of him. 

Your quick fingers desperately undid his belt, feeling the old leather under your fingers. You didn’t have the balls to look at him and frankly, you were afraid you would lose your nerve if you did. 

His hands were encouraging for your nervous system, firm palms planted into your hips and even going as far as to squeeze the flesh that sat under your jean shorts. His body warmed you up, his eyes admiring you as you plucked open the button on his jeans. 

You pushed your tongue against your cheek in concentration, all of a sudden desperate at the thought of having him in your mouth. You dragged down the zipper, the relaxed denim exposing the black briefs he wore underneath that hugged his tan hips. 

You slowly sunk to your knees before him, as if you were worshiping a God. Maybe you were, it was Joel Miller, after all.

“This what you were learnin’ off at school?” Joel belittled, your head doing a few quick nods as a flush stained your cheeks. God. Something about Joel calling you a slut had you in a tailspin. You couldn’t wait anymore. 

Your fingers delicately felt over the impressive growth that his briefs held down, biting down on your bottom lip as you let your pointer finger make the outline of his girth. 

He let out an audible grunt at the action, his jaw jutted out, and his eyes filled with lust. “Lemme see that pretty mouth.” He practically purred, your chest rising and falling in anticipation as you slowly opened your mouth for him. You felt the intrusion of his thumb, a guttural moan leaving your throat as your big eyes stayed on his. He pinched at the inside of your cheek for a moment, your eyes twinging closed and opening back up with twinkling tears on the brim of flowing. 

“Good girl, keep that mouth open for me.” He encouraged as he pushed two fingers past your lips, testing you. And you were more than willing to accept his little challenge. His fingers pushed on the back of your tongue, feeling your lips graze all the way to his knuckle as you worked on breathing through the feeling of his fingers shoved down your throat. 

You were determined for him not to get the best of you, to prove how you had some experience under your belt. Your tongue willingly swirled around his digits, humming softly as you suckled. Now it was his turn to look like he was ready to fold. You felt him swell in your hand, the hand still stroking over his erection in his briefs. 

He ripped back his fingers, leaving them with a pop to your lips. Holy shit. You took a few deep breaths and swallowed, blinking back the tears that his fingers provoked from going so far down. 

“Damn, baby, look so pretty down on your knees for me. Don’t make me wait ‘ny longer.” Joel’s breaths were heavy, his southern drawl exaggerated in his lust-filled state. 

A proud smirk laced on your lips, his eyes on you as he watched you pry down the material of his briefs, watching as he lightly lifted his hips off the stool and using the drafting table behind him as leverage to let his jeans and boxers rest comfortably around the top of his thighs. What you had been craving slapped eagerly into the palm of your uninjured hand, an unexpected little moan leaving you. 

You studied his cock with anticipation, the glowing pinkish-red tip glistening with pre-cum from all the anticipation. He was generous in size, he would be the biggest you had ever taken. He was just… grown. You let out a satisfied little mmm, smirking up at him as your fist wrapped delicately around the base as you pumped over just the bottom half of him. 

Your hand came up to push some hair behind your ear but Joel was quick to handle that for you, stroking the stray pieces back behind your ear and then planting his palm right on the top side of your head. He tried to guide you closer but you just continued to smirk at him, a desperate grunt leaving the back of his throat. 

“Don’t play with me, kitten.” The nickname had you fawning, much better than the other nickname he had given you in the past. Maybe this new one would replace the old, the girl he dismissed before now a woman whose attention he craved. 

You guided his tip to gently tap at your flattened tongue, using his base to guide him until you generously wrapped your mouth around his leaking head. He let out a satisfied hiss which made you smirk, knowing you were the one making him dance on the line between pain and pleasure. 

You let out an involuntary mewl as the fist he had made in the back of your hair forced you further down his rigid member, feeling wet tears threatening to spill over your waterline as his tip nudged against the back of your throat. He said not to play with him and you disobeyed. 

Your palms flattened to the front of his thighs as you pushed yourself off of him, gasping for air as you swallowed the mixture of your spit and his leakage that clogged your throat. 

“So fuckin’ pretty chokin’ on me like that, such a pretty face.” He sneered, referring to your teary eyes. But the compliment made you blush and the choking and sobbing was all of a sudden worth it for the praise. 

After that, you craved to take all of him just like he wanted. Your head worked in subtle bobs, taking inch by inch of him at a time. Sometimes his hand in your hair guided you, allowing you to take him with confidence as he let out disgusting groans and low moans. 

Your gluck, gluck, glucks filled the shed, hot pants leaving your mouth around him but not willing to let your head up. Trails of your saliva attached themselves from his balls to your lips, the sight being a trophy for your hard earned deep throating. He was already so close, you couldn’t bear not to taste the prize you had worked so hard for. 

All of a sudden, Joel stood up from his seat at the drafting table and you couldn’t help but show a look of disappointment. You thought he was done, going to leave you like a mess on the floor with bruises on your knees from the cold concrete and your slobbery mouth feeling his loss. 

Your wet eyelashes fluttered as he returned to fist the hair at the top of your head and angled your face upward, watching as his other hand yanked on his member. The sight made your jaw drop. 

“Where do you want me to finish?” His words were pained, stretched thin as he tried to hold out for an answer from you. But you wanted him to finish, you wanted to watch his face contort from the wake of his orgasm that you helped create. 

“Mmm,” you hummed out as you purposefully prolonged his finish, watching as his chest puffed and his skin grew rosy from the heat flooding his body. Your cockiness was punished by a tighter grip in your hair, yanking your head closer to his shaft to force a real answer out of you. Your scalp stung but only a smile was on your face. 

“You wanna cum on my face, Mr. Miller?” You asked in the most innocent tone you could muster, your mouth parting at the sight of him. He looked heavenly. The glow from his shed lights made him appear as if he had an angelic glow. But you knew he was hellish, nothing close to an angel. 

Joel let out a scoffy little grunt at your question, a wicked smile gracing his lips as his hooded eyes slowly fell completely closed as the shock of his orgasm coursed through his body. 

You eagerly watched and you hated how hungry you knew you looked right now. You licked your lips, eager for his taste, eager to make the Joel Miller cum. You were desperate. 

His cock began twitching in his hand, watching as he methodically yanked out his own orgasm. His eyes lazily glanced between his shaft and to your large eyes, slowly smirking at the sight of you holding out for him. 

“Let me see that tongue, darlin’.” His words were breathy, just on the edge of no return. You obeyed, dropping your jaw and flashing him your tongue as you fluttered your eyelashes. At the sight alone, he finished himself off with eager grunts and short moans, you swore one of them was your name. 

His hot cum landed on your face, your eyes closing in satisfaction with a cocky smile. Most landed on your tongue, a few piping hot white strands splattered like paint on your cheeks and nose. All the air in your lungs left you as he tapped his pulsing tip eagerly against your tongue, watching with his jaw slack as he let the rest pool onto your tongue and down your throat. 

You swallowed knowing he was watching, his hand in your hair relaxing. He tasted better than you expected, a new craving. 

Instead of fisting your strands, he started stroking them away from your messy face, praising you as he tucked himself back into his pants.

Both no longer in the hot fantasy you swore you imagined once, you tried to collect yourselves. You shakily stood up from the ground, your knees cold from the concrete. You wipe off any dust or dirt they may have collected, sneaking glances at Joel as he fastened his belt around his waist once more and popping the button of his jeans back into place. 

You glanced around for a tissue, your back to him as you cleaned up your face. Oh my god, you were wiping Joel Miller’s cum off your fucking face.  As the two of you pieced yourselves back together, he reached for his discarded flannel that he had given you still resting on the metal chair you previously abandoned before settling between his legs. 

“Said you were cold. Take it.” He said as he fisted some of the material and looked at you expectantly. You sighed before gently taking the material and wrapping yourself in its warmth. 

As he placed a bandaid on your palm to cover your futile wound, you admired the flannel in all of its unknown beauty. 

It was one of his older ones, you sort of felt bad because you could only assume it was one of his favorites. It adorned a few minor holes and rips, some of which were badly stitched back together in an attempt to salvage it for another few years. Despite its appearance, you melted into it because it smelled like him. It smelled smoky like his cigarettes or maybe that was just the residual smoke from the bonfire. As you walked outside, you could smell it clearer.

Sandalwood with a hint of cinnamon, you wondered what cologne he used. 

Your head was lost in thought as you began to wander back towards the bonfire, a sharp clearing of his throat bringing you back to your senses. You whipped around, seeing as he pointed to the stray wood you had dropped from earlier.

“Oh-” you said bashfully as you returned to the pile with him, both of you knelt down picking up stray pieces. Once you started piling the wood in your arms again, he let out a short chuckle from deep inside him as he held your wrist from stacking more. 

“That’s enough for now, just go.” You liked seeing his face lit up like that, knowing you were the cause of it being even better. 

“Okay, Mr. Miller.” You cooed quietly, his face hardening at the name of adoration you had given him. 

“Okay, Skids. I’ll be seein’ you.” He said with a tight nod of his head, his eyes directing you back to the fire. You set down the firewood by the rocks surrounding it as a barrier, clearing your throat as you returned to the tailgate. You could still taste his cum on your tongue. 

No one seemed to notice your trip taking unexpectedly longer than necessary. Your parents were both swaying their heads and laughing, empty bottles by the legs of their folding lawn chairs to explain their obvious lack of awareness. 

Sarah had joined up with other friends in your absence, but you didn’t mind. 

You finally had a moment to reflect on what had just taken place in Joel’s shed. You let your vacation house neighbor cum in your mouth. Your older, stoic, stubborn ass of a neighbor. 

As if on cue, Joel returned to the side of his truck with his body leaning against the tailgate. His jean-clad hip lightly grazed your thigh, glancing over to see him offering you a beer. 

“Since you’re all grown up now.” He said with a little spark behind his eyes. You nodded and took the opened beer with a growing smile. 

“Cheers.” He offered as he held out his bottle to clink with yours. 

“Cheers to another summer in Danbury.” You tell him. 

He cocked his eyebrow and glanced over to you one more time before he focused his eyes on the growing fire. 

“This one ain’t quite like the rest.” It almost sounded like a promise from him. You hoped it was. Because you were wearing his flannel and you were on his knees for him tonight, you wondered what experience of Joel could offer you this summer. 

---

read part 2 - dark paradise!

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[raya-hunter01]

Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 6

Roman X OC(Kara)

Jey Uso X OC (Tia)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy

Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.

What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?

Six Months Later

Pensacola, Fl

Roman's House

That’s it….Ten years and it’s over just by signing some papers," I said as my mom sat beside me while I looked at a copy of the divorce papers.

“Roman, you messed up and what you did was unforgivable. This is all that should matter to you right now,” my mother said placing Logan in my arms as I sat her on my lap.

Her little smile as she put her tiny fist in her mouth made my heart smile.

 “I know princess, granny needs to hurry up your bottle, don’t she?” I said chuckling as she laughed at the sounds coming out of her mouth as I gently bounced her on my lap.

“Granny only got two hands and she’s coming.”

“I’m just kidding Ma, I’m happy you here and don’t know what I’d do without you and Ma Rebecca. I just hoped that Kara and I could have work things out, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“Son, I’mma need you to snap outta this because this little girl needs her father, and she needs you focused on her. She already ain’t got a damn mama if we keeping it real,” my mom said cutting me deep with her words, but it was true.

I had got Tia transferred to Raw to get her outta my hair, which has been a godsend. She sees Logan whenever the mood hits or she needs something. She still won’t sign over her rights…

“I am focused on her. I’ve gotten my schedule lighter. She going to start traveling with me..I got that part mama; I just need Kara now.”

“Roman! Kara is not going to help you raise a baby that is not only a reminder that you betrayed her, but its mother is her sister! Now you starting to scare me with your delusion. It’s over son and you set this all in motion…

"Mama, I know-"

"Deal with it and figure out a way to get that fool to sign over her rights. Hell, call your lawyer back and tell him you want to go for full custody and don’t give her no money,” she said, giving me Logan's bottle before leaving the room without another word.

“I guess it’s just us, huh, baby girl?” I asked feeding her as she gripped my hand greedily sucking her bottle

Taking my mother’s advice, after feeding Loogan and burping her, I quickly shot my lawyer a text to go ahead with getting Tia served.

Hopefully, he could get it done today before she leaves out for Raw later on today.

After laying Logan down I went on Instagram and saw Jey had posted a live and had pinned it to his page. Being nosey, I clicked on it and instantly wished I didn’t.

Jey was filming the highway, the road almost seemed deserted the Boston skyline in view. I knew it well from the few times I had visited Kara.

As I was about to get off, I heard a familiar laugh as Piece of my love by Guy began playing in the background.

“It's 5 am, we out here Boston! What ya’ll know bout ridin’ round the city, listening to dat good old school music, just vibin’ wit yo’ people,” he said turning the camera on Kara who was driving and dancing in her seat.

“You can have a piece of my love,” she softly sang shooting Jey a quick glance with a smile when she saw he was recording her.  

“It’s waiting for you,” Jey said slyly finishing the lyric without missing a beat as Kara laughed and turned her attention back to the road shaking her head.  

“You ain’t ready for this Mr. Fatu,” Kara muttered under her breath as I growled.

“A’ight now, you know I stay ready,” he said chuckling, turning around showing Trin asleep with her head in Jimmy’s lap. “What’s up ya’ll,” Jimmy said nodding his head to the music.

Damn, I kinda miss the days of my cousins and I traveling and just vibin' without a care. It made the time go by and if I’m honest I missed them all.

“We’re almost there,” I heard Kara say as Jey flipped the camera to show his face. “A’ight, we out ya’ll, we gettin' ready to turn it in. Been a long ass flight, and we bout to all get some sleep,” he said abruptly ending the live.

“Motherfucker,” I whispered trying not to disturb Logan as she slept.

He just won’t give up, what right did he have even being in the car with her? A car I paid for…Sleeping in the house I’m paid for…

Damn, why couldn’t he stay away from her?

---

Kara’s Condo

Boston, MA

Kara’s Pov

“Jey, if you ask me one more time if I really want to come tonight I’mma slap the fuck outta you,” I said as he held his hands up in surrender.

“Aye, I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I know Tia gon’ be there,” he said as I shook my head.

“I’m going to watch your Raw debut, I ain’t worried about Tia and whatever drama she got going on,” I said reassuring him as he gave me a hug.

“I’ll see you later,” he whispered giving me a kiss on the cheek

“Ya’ll drive safe, I’ll see you in a bit,” I said as he picked up his bag, heading for the door.

“Sis, you comin’ right?” he asked as Trin smiled.

“Yes, I wouldn’t miss it. I’ll ride with Kara over there,” she said as he gave her a thumbs up before leaving.

“He’s such a goof, should have seen him in the car rental place,” Trin said as I laughed pouring us a glass of wine.

“Trin, he means well, don’t do him like that,” I said as she chuckled.

“I know he does and look at you defending your man.”

“He isn’t my man Trin.”

“You know I can’t wait for ya’ll to finally get together. Especially since you’ve already test drove the merchandise.” Trin said as I coughed, almost spitting out my wine as she laughed.

“I can’t believe you,” I coughed as she shrugged her shoulders.

“Aye, just calling it like I see it. You were riding him like you were at the rodeo weren’t you?”

“It was good too…Ugh, see, I hate I even told you. Now I’m thinking about it,” I laughed as Trin sipped on her wine unbothered.

“I’m just sayin’ if you need that itch scratched, Jey’s a willing participant.”

“Trin, in all seriousness though, I’m just trying to focus on getting back to me right now. I got a lot of shit to process before I even think about being somebody’s girlfriend.”

“I get it, you don’t want to take that energy and resentment into a new relationship,” Trin said as sighed in relief, someone finally got what I had been trying to say.

“Speaking of Roman, these the divorce papers, huh,” Trin said picking up the stack of papers off the table.

“Yep, it’s a done deal. I can breathe now,” I said sitting next to her and sipping on my glass of wine.

Roman and I went through therapy as suggested by our lawyers. It was terrible but I made it through. Roman was upset that I still wanted to go through with the divorce, but he didn’t contest it anymore.

“I can’t believe he sent you flowers,” Trin said reaching over to look at the note that was attached to the bouquet of red and white roses.

“Thank you for trying, I know I didn’t deserve it. Just know I will always love you and I’m always here. Maybe we can be friends someday -Roman.”

“Damn……Do you think you’ll ever forgive him?” Trin asked as I sighed putting down my glass.

“I think I forgave him the moment he broke down and cried in therapy about what happened. The more he talked, the more I realized at first, he was a victim in Tia’s game.”

“I can see that, but what about after the first time?”

“That’s where he has to take accountability, he made some choices that he’s going to have to deal with the consequences of and it’s no longer my problem,” I said as Trin nodded in understanding.

“Now…Tia on the other hand, I’m avoiding that bitch like the plague tonight. I don’t want to go to jail,” I said as Trin laughed.

“I feel you cause even though I got bail money you too cute for jail,” she said as I held up my glass and we toasted.

“Here’s to Jey and a night of celebration,” I said honestly happy for the first time in a long time.

I was going to see Jey tonight and for tonight none of the drama with Tia mattered. This was about Jey and his new beginnings as a singles wrestler.

-----

Monday Night Raw

Jey’s POV

“Man, I can’t believe I’m here,” I said nervously pacing as Jimmy shook his head at me.

“Aye, calm down and enjoy this moment. You gon’ be fine,” he said as I saw Tia coming over.

“Ah hell,” I whispered as Jimmy turned around chuckled. “You already know she gon’ try you.” Jimmy whispered as I rubbed the back of my neck.

“Man, I ain’t got time for this shit,” I whispered as Tia smiled walking past Jimmy as if he wasn’t there. “Well hello to you too, Tia,” he said as she shot him a sly smile before turning back to me.

“Hey, Jey long time no see,” she said with a flirty smile.

“You just really have you no shame,” Jimmy asked as she rolled her eyes at him.

“I’m just talking to him, no harm in that,” she whispered as I looked at her in disbelief.

“Jimmy, give us a minute, Uce,” I said as he got up and left us alone.

“Jey, I just thought since you’re going to be on the Raw brand we could catch up some time,” Tia said as I looked at her like she was crazy.

“Uh, I don’t even like you like that,” I said as she walked closer.

“I’m just trying to welcome you to Raw, I know it gets lonely on the road. Maybe we could reconnect and make some magic happen,” she said touching my chest as I backed away.

“Tia, I think you need help…Like mental help, your obsession with Kara and the people she loves ain’t normal,” I said trying to wrap my brain around how crazy she was.

“I’m not worried about her, I know I’m the better woman and you know it too,” she said trying to put my arms around her as I backed away with my hands in the air.

“Look, don’t ever try me like dat ever again. You know I love Kara and unlike Roman I’m hip to your bullshit. Stay away from me and Kara,” I said as she frowned.

“Kara don’t love you, if she did, ya’ll would have been together years ago,” Tia said spitefully with a smirk.

“Tia tend to your own business, and be a mom to your child. You know the one who hasn’t heard from you in months while you parade on this show and in the streets like a cat in heat,” I said as the smirk fell from her face.

“I have settled that with her father and it’s none of your concern. Still, Kara’s lap log I see,” Tia said as I chuckled.

“Still jealous of your sister, I see,” I said as she slapped me.

“Tia…… Get some help,” I said taking myself out of the situation and walking away from her. “Jey! I’ll see you soon, the road gets lonely!” she yelled as I kept walking.

I needed to get ready for the show and I didn’t have time for her craziness.

“Hey, what was all of that Jey?” Tom, who was one of the higher ups asked, stopping me before I got to my dressing room.

Great, the last thing I needed was him taking this back to Paul causing an issue. I just got here and didn’t need no drama.

“Uh, just some personal stuff, but I took care of it,” I said as he nodded. “Well, that was really unprofessional how she was acting. That was sexual harassment.”

“Look, I gotta get ready for the show. It’s all good Uce, I took care of it” I said trying to get him to drop the subject, but I knew by the look on his face it wasn’t going to be the last I heard about it.

---

Monday Night Raw

Kara’s POV

“Mom, you don’t have to throw me a party,” I said as Trin, and I pulled into the building.

“Sweetie, you got accepted back into medical school. We are celebrating and that’s final,” she said as Trin smiled.

“You know we game for barbecue, yo’ daddy can throw down. I’ll get Jimmy to do that Samoan dish you like too,” Trin added.

“The one with the pineapple chicken?” I asked as Trin nodded… “Oh, I’m there,” I said as Trin, and my mom laughed.

“Thanks for the reinforcements Trin. Sweetie, Logan will be here on Friday, but if you’re uncomfortable Janice can get her,” my mom said as I sighed.

“Mama, I will be fine. I know it’s your weekend to have Logan I wouldn’t do that,” I said as the line got quiet.

“I don’t want you to be overwhelmed baby,” my mom said as I gave Trin a small smile.

“It’s ok mom, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“Enjoy the show baby, and I’ll see you Thursday, love you.”

“Love you too mom,” I said, hanging up and taking a deep breath.

“You know it’s ok to not be ok,” Trin said as I parked the car.

“I’m ok…I just don’t see myself being heavily involved in Logan’s life. Does that make me a terrible person?” I asked as Trin looked at me with a sad smile.

“No, it makes you a person that has been hurt and your feelings are valid, but I also know you.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means if that baby needed anything you would make sure she had it,” Trin said as I bit my lower lip trying not to cry.

“I would, but I don’t see myself babysitting and doing all the other auntie stuff, it would be a constant reminder of everything,” I said as Trin nodded.

“Maybe as time passes you will feel different,” Trin said as we walked towards the talent entrance.

“I don’t think so Trin, even though she’s not to blame for what her parents did.” I said as Trin showed her ID and we got our passes from security.

“Well, let’s just enjoy tonight and worry about everything else later,” Trin said as we headed inside to get ready for the show.

“You won’t hear no complaints from me,” I said happy we could just go enjoy the show. No more Roman, Tia, or Logan talk.

------

Monday Night Raw

Jey’s POV

Man, the crowd is on fire and rocking, but it’s only one face I’m looking for right now and I can’t find her. Finally, after Sami left the ring, I spotted Kara in the third row wearing my hoodie.

Trin was beside her in a ball cap and her reading glasses, I had to give it to them they blended in well with the crowd. I’m glad too because the last thing I wanted was someone to take pictures of them and posting it online.

I can see the headlines now “Roman Reigns ex-wife attends Raw with TNA superstar Trinity.”

Getting out of the ring I signaled for Kara to head backstage as she nodded and whispered to Trin.

Once I saw them grab their things, I slowly made my way up the ramp. Everything was finally sinking in as the crowd continued to sing my music and I wanted to take it all in.

Tonight is something I will never forget, giving them one final wave I went backstage into gorilla and was met with a round of applause.

“Welcome to Raw Uce!” Cody said giving me a hug.

“Thanks, man I’m glad to be here, Uce,” I said looking around for Kara but didn’t see her. Where are they? I know they had their passes.

“Hey, don’t freak out, they made it back. Kara just didn’t want people in ya’ll business. Go down the hall and make a right, she’s there waiting for you,” Cody said as I smiled.

“Aye, good lookin’ out Uce,” I said shaking his hand before going to find Kara.

 Rounding the corner, there she was leaning up against the wall with her hands in her pockets.

“How did I do?” I asked as she looked at me with a smile, running towards me and jumping in my arms as I held her close.

“Amazing, I’m so proud of you,” she whispered against my ear as I sighed holding her tighter.

“Thank you for ridin’ wit me and believin’ in me.”

“E le aunoa ma le faavavau” she said as felt my heart swell.

“Always and forever,” I said as she looked at me with a shy smile.

Our moment was short lived as I saw Jimmy and Trin heading towards us. “Aye, that was awesome Uce,” Jimmy said as put Kara down and Trin came over to give me a hug.

“Alright now brother-in-law. That’s what I’m talking about.”

“Thanks, sis,” I said watching Kara as Jimmy put his arm around her as she welcomed his embrace, leaning her head against him.

 Releasing Trin from my embrace I saw a look of confusion pass Kara’s face for a second before she tried to play it off.

I looked over my shoulder and there in the corner hiding behind the curtain was Tia.

She was watching Kara like a hawk, almost envious. Something was wrong. Something wasn’t clicking in Tia’s head.

“She just won’t get the hint, huh?” Jimmy asked as I shook my head signaling for him to shut up.

“Get the hint about what?” Kara asked as I lightly pushed Jimmy.

“I handled it, why you even had to bring it up,” I hissed as he shook his head.

“Look at that fool over there staring at us, does it look like she understood what you said,” Jimmy countered as I sighed.

“I handled it, Uce.”

“Uh, can somebody tell us what’s going on?” Trin asked as Kara looked at me.

“Look, Tia came on to me, I shut it down, we exchanged some words and that was it,” I said as Kara chuckled, shaking her head at Trin, who seemed nervous.

“Now, remember what we talked about earlier Kara,” Trin said as Kara looked at her with a smile.

“Oh, I remember, I’m just gon’ go holla at her for a minute…. Excuse me,” Kara said walking towards Tia who was smirking.

“Kara it ain’t worth it,” I said as she walked up to Tia. “Hey sis, long time no see, it’s been about what…Six months,” Tia said with a smile.

Kara’s POV

“Yea, it has, and I see your still up to the same bullshit,” I said wanting to smack the smirk off her face.

“What? I just offered Jey a good time, the road can be stressful, especially on the man. You know that better than anyone right?” Tia asked as I chuckled at her lame attempt to rile me up.

“You should know by now offering your services to taken men never works out in your favor though, does it? I mean you get so desperate you let men call you by their wives names while they fuck you.” I said not caring who knew at this point.

“Damn…You get down like that Tia?” Jimmy asked as Trin sighed. “Jurdy, I’ll fill you in later, be quiet," she whispered as Tia had the nerve to look embarrassed.

“He’ll come to me…They all come to-”

“Look, I’mma keep it short and sweet because I don’t have time for your games.”

“Oou lil sis is hot because she knows if I want Jey, I could take him.” Tia said as I chuckled as I felt Jey behind me.

 “Keep your distance, Tia,” I said as she rolled her eyes.

“Oh, please,” she muttered as I felt the urge to knock her ass out.

 “Tia! Come near him again, and that last ass whoopin’ I gave you will feel like a walk in the park…Try me.” I hissed as Jey gently grabbed my hand unclenching my fist.

“Kara, let’s go” Jey said as I refused to move. “I look forward to it,” Tia taunted as Jey shook his head trying to put a little distance between me and Tia.

“Man, gon’ wit dat bullshit, Tia. You done did enough now,” Jey said as I stepped into her space as she nervously bit her lip.

“I’mma stomp yo’ ass in the ground, keep coming at me like you crazy.”

“Aye, Tia, I know you a couple chocolate chips short of a cookie, but you better find you something safe to do. That ain’t the move baby girl,” Jimmy said as Tia growled.

“I hate you bitch!”

“Hate….Nah, you love me….Love me so much you wanna be me and apparently want every dick that’s ever been inside me too,” I said casually as Jey cleared his throat putting his arm around my waist trying to hold me back.

“Been inside you! Twin, you done hit the homie and ain’t said shit!” Jimmy exclaimed as Trin sighed.

 “Jurdy, read the room, keep up, and shut the hell up,” she said as Jimmy got quiet.

“You nasty bitch!” Tia shouted as I smirked at her. “Nah, that would be you and your sour-ass pussy,” I said, as Jey pulled me close steering me away from Tia.

“A’ight, let’s go ma. We need to talk,” Jey said as I looked back at Tia as a stagehand approached her.

“Tia, bossman wants to see you,” he said as Tia plastered on a smile following him.

“I’ll see you soon Jey,” she laughed as I tried to get out of Jey’s embrace.

“Fuckin’ parasite,” I hissed as Jey pulled me into his locker room, locking the door behind us.

“Are you done?” he asked as I rolled my eyes irritated as hell.

“No…..She always is up to something, I just don’t understand,” I said as Jey took off his black jacket, tossing it on the couch.

Damn, he looked fine as hell…Focus Kara, you're mad right now.

“Don’t let it bother you, the stuff she doin’, it don’t even matter.”

“What do you mean it don’t matter? “I asked as a look of determination adorned his handsome face as he slowly came towards me, almost like a lion stalking its prey.

“You ain’t slick, you know what you be doing wit ya chest and tattoos all out,” I said as he laughed. “I'm serious, you can stay over there, sir.”  His smile making it hard for me to stay angry.

“I ain’t doin’ nothing,” he whispered closing the distance between us as I tried to remain strong.

 “Yes, you are, Jey,” I whispered, feeling like my heart race as he caressed my face with his hands. Closing my eyes, I felt the tension leaving my body simply from his touch.

“I’mma need you to realize something important,” he said as I melted even further into his touch.

“What do I need to realize?” I asked, his lips dangerously close to mine. “I only want you; I’ve always only wanted you,” he whispered our lips meeting in a searing kiss.

It had been six months since the last time our lips touched and the

Feeling lightheaded I clung to him as our tongues fought for dominance, with Jey winning in the end as I whimpered in need.

He had me Feenin’ for more as we reluctantly parted to catch our breaths.

“Kara, you ain’t gotta worry about Tia, I ain’t Roman. I ain’t jeopardizing being with you for nobody,” Jey said reassuring me as I nodded.

I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that until now.

“Jey, I don’t want you to feel obligated to do all this. Visting me every week, being there-” I started as he cut me off with a gentle kiss.

“When you’re ready, I’m ready. I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” he whispered wiping my tears I didn’t even know had fallen.

“You ain’t gotta cry no more, I got you….Until my last breath, I got you.”

“I know,” I whispered leaning against his chest enjoying being wrapped up in his arms.

Damn her..Damn me for allowing Tia to rile me up. I was making strides, but everything still had me fucked up.

Damn Tia and Roman for that matter….

“Do you want to go out with us to eat?” Jey asked as I chuckled looking at him. “Nah, ya’ll can go eat, I got to finish an assignment. Someone had me chauffeuring them around this morning before daylight, even had to take them at a rental this afternoon,” I joked as he laughed.

“Aye, we said thank you. But real talk, tomorrow I wanna take you out and spend some time wit you before we leave out on Wednesday,” he said as I smiled, actually looking forward to it.

“I’mma hold you to that,” I whispered, ignoring my vibrating phone in my back pocket.

-----

Kara’s Condo

Roman’s POV

“Pick up the phone Kara,” I muttered dialing her once again as it goes to voicemail.

“It’s your girl Kara, I’m busy so leave your message at the beep and I’ll get back with you.”

“Kara, just please call me back..I..I need to see you.”

Ending the call, I dialed her right back but this time it went straight to voicemail.

“Did you just ignore my call? Are you with him?…..You are…. Your with Jey ain’t you? Is he kissin on you?......Is he holdin’ you like I used too, dickin’ you down like me. Hmm….Hmm…..Answer the damn phone Kara!” I yelled, hanging up trying to calm myself down.

I tried to wait, but she playin’…Pulling out my spare key to her condo I let myself in.

Did she know I had a key? No…. But that is beside the point.

I felt resentful as I took in how she had the house decorated so welcoming.

“My beautiful family tree,” I muttered reading the letters above the painted tree on the wall of the living room. Pictures of her parents, her brother, even pictures of her and Jey throughout the years. Hell, Jimmy and Trin made the family tree wall.

“I can’t believe this shit,” I hissed, walking into Kara’s bedroom, getting even more pissed seeing Jey’s bag beside her bed.

“In my fucking house,” I muttered looking around the room.

That live from Jey rattled me so much this morning, I charted my jet this evening and flew straight here.

He really been in here, layin’ in this bed with Kara…My Kara…. I don’t give a damn what no divorce papers say…She’s still mine.

I needed to know how deep this shit was getting between Kara and Jey and I needed to know now.

Fucking him one time to get back at me is one thing but actually being in a relationship with him is taking shit too far.

 Hearing the door open, I sat in the chair by the bed. I didn’t care who was with her, we were going to talk.

“I’m fine Jey, I just got inside,” she said as I snarled. “I’m going to shower and finish up my assignment. Just bring me back a fry and a ginger ale. I’m not that hungry, it’s late.”

“Really? Oh, he just Mr. perfect, huh. Doin’ late night ginger ale runs,” I seethed quietly hearing the happiness in Kara’s voice.

“Ok I’ll see ya’ll in a few,” she said, ending the call as I heard her moving around the hall.

“That man,” I heard her sigh as I felt the jealousy within me burning deep.

I had to stifle a groan as she opened the door and I saw she had taken off her shirt. “What tha shit!” Kara screamed, covering herself with her shirt as I stood up.

“Kara, where you been?” I asked as she looked at me in confusion. Almost like she thought she was hallucinating.

“What the hell are you doing in my house Roman?!” Kara yelled turning on the light.

“I wanted to see how your little visit with my cousin was goin’ but you ain’t answered my question. Where you been, because Raw ended about two hours ago?” I asked, walking towards Kara as she put her shirt back on.

“First of all, who da fuck do you think you are! We’re divorced, where I am and who I’m with is none of your damn concern. Now how did you get in here?!” Kara yelled pissed off as I scoffed.

“I had this made before the landlord gave you the keys. I mean did you really think, I was gon’ let you be out here and not check in on you.” I said as she reached for the keys, but I put it back in my pocket.

Kara’s POV

“This ain’t checkin’ in, this is stalking. You shouldn’t be here at all! Give me the keys Roman!” I yelled, still in shock I had found him in my bedroom, sitting in here like a fuckin’ serial killer.

“Have you slept with Jey since that night?” Roman asked as I looked at him like he was crazy.

“That is none of your business, give me the key, Roman!” I yelled as he ignored me.

“Not until you tell me, then I’ll give it to you.”

“Have you been drinking?” I asked, smelling the alcohol on his breath as he came a little closer.

“I ain’t drunk, I am in control Kara. I got this shit, I only had a brandy on the plane.”

“I can’t tell you flew from Pensacola to Boston to ask if I’m fucking your cousin,” I said as he rolled his eyes.

“Are you fuckin’ him, it’s a simple question?!” Roman yelled as I sighed rubbing my temples.

“Answer me, Kara.”

“Do you see a ring on my finger..No you don’t because I am single. You made sure I became single when you stuck your dick in my sister and got her pregnant!” I screamed as Roman came even closer.

“Are you fucking Jey? It’s either yes or no Kara.”

“It’s none of your business, just give me the keys and leave Roman.”

“Just answer the question, Kara!” Roman screamed as I looked at him like he was crazy.

“Roman, I’mma need you to calm do-”

“I have tried and tried to get back together wit you and this is the thanks I get!  You out here with him in MY HOUSE that I’M PAYIN’ for!” Roman ranted as something inside me flipped.

“It’s MY HOUSE and I don’t owe you shit! Get out!.....Now Roman!”

His arrogant stance as he refused to move pissed me off even more. He really thinks he can control me..

“I ain’t leavin’ till you answer me,” he said as I nodded in understanding.

“Ok, I see I’mma have to remind you with who you dealin’ wit,” I said leaving the room.

“Where you goin’ Kara, I aint done talkin’ to you,” Roman said walking behind me as I went into the kitchen.

“I told you to get out, but you trippin’. You trippin’ hard but let me help you out, let me get on your level,” I said reaching in the drawer pulling out my large chef’s knife as Roman growled in frustration, but backed up a little.

“Really, so you gon’ stab me Kara?” he asked as I pointed the knife in his direction.

“Roman I promise you, we gon’ be on an episode of The First 48 if you don’t leave the keys and get outta my damn house!” I screamed as he sighed, reaching in his pocket putting the keys on the counter.

“Kara, we need to talk about Je-”

“I don’t want to talk to you…I want you out!” I cried as Roman sighed, turning around to leave. A wave of relief washing over me as I heard the door close.

Trying to control my tears I tried to take a few deep breaths as I looked at the keys on the counter.

He really had keys made to my house and came in here trying to tell me what to do.

Another reason I didn’t want his money everyone was advising me to take. He thinks he owns me.

“Definitely getting the locks changed,” I whispered heading to lock the front door, stumbling back in shock seeing Roman with his hands up in the air being held at gunpoint by Tia.

“Oh, hey sis, come on in and join the party, I mean you are the guest of honor after all,” Tia said as Roman looked back at me. His remorseful gaze pierced my soul as she smiled, pointing the gun at me.

"Oh, my God."

Taglist:

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[jolapeno]

come away with me and we'll kiss

javier peña x f!reader | one shot from late night texts world

you don't need to have read the series, but it helps - this one shot is set during the epilogue 🩷 chapter warnings: a photo booth, two idiots, javi realising how much he loves you, while also unable to keep his hands to himself. illusions and briefest of mentions of smut, but no actual ✨ wordcount: 1.9k.

an: BONUS CHAPTER. this wasn't planned at all but i saw @babyispunk's insanely amazing photo booth pic for Javi, and i had to write this little ode to it (hope you do not mind, lovely) biggest thanks to @guyfieriii who not only held my hand with this but also chose the title. ily.

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

don’t forget tomorrow im taking you out for the day

You sure you told me this? 

good job I reminded you then

Javi, I am pretty sure I’d have remembered this. Are you sure you told me?

positive 

Javi hadn’t told you. 

The idea only came to him that week. You all curled up against him, asleep—your fingers on his chest—his hand placed right over yours. 

The minutes had been ticking down until his alarm would do its usual thing of disturbing the morning. Interrupting the time he got to just be, when he could lie here with your weight and warmth against him. 

That’s when his eyes landed on the photo frame with the photo strip, sitting on top, in the centre of the drawers the two of you now share. The strip of four photos captured from that week. 

For the past week, he’d thought of nothing but your two’s fast-approaching first anniversary. That week which had changed his life, the one where he’d had a taste of the life he lives now. 

From speaking to some of the people in town, it hadn’t taken much effort to learn where the closest one was. It all aligned, everything falling perfectly into place—all working out. 

On the morning of it all, the day even began the same as it had done when the two of you were in that hotel room. The tips of his fingers strumming up and down your back, your chest flush with his—all tangled in his arms, sheets barely keeping in place as your lips kissed the air with his name, the sound of yours leaving his mouth coated in grunts and hisses. 

It deviated after. The two of you shared a shower, with you sneaking out of the bathroom undetected to get dressed, leaving him to enact the next part of his plan: wearing the pink shirt. 

Stealing it back from your things had taken planning—discreet misdirections, his former skills in the DEA coming into use. He was just grateful it still fastened because even if he did more physical work now than he used to, Javi still wasn’t DEA fit. He was happy, for one—secondly, home-cooked meals were more a norm now than when he was over in Colombia. 

You said nothing if you thought anything when he met you on the porch. Not even when the two of you hit the road, hands smoothing down your dress as you turn the radio, focused, eyes glued, and head slightly tilted.

Fuck, you were gorgeous.

You always were. Always have been. Even way before, when all he had of you was words on his phone screen, you have been amazing to him. 

“So, whatcha’ thinking about?” you say, leaning back as the radio hums—the plucking of a guitar filling the journey as you look at him. 

Taking his hand from the wheel, he placed it on your knee—bare skin meeting his palm. “That I’m looking forward to taking you out of this dress when we get back.”

“No, you weren’t, you tease.”

He snorts, squeezing your knee. “Trust me, cariño. Most, if not all of the time, I am thinking about how I can get you out of your clothing.”

Your laugh fills the vehicle, feeling your eyes on him as the two of you pass the sign welcoming you into the city. 

“Think you need a hobby if you’ve got time for all that thinking, baby.”

“I’m busy enough.”  

Humming, he smiles as you rest your head on him. The scent of your perfume hitting his nose, recognising it instantly—the one he bought you, wrist tilted to his nose in the shop as you sprayed bottle after bottle until you landed on this one. 

The one, as you said, made his eyes widen. It wasn’t the only body reaction the scent now made happen. Least of all, when your hand was on his thigh, fingers sliding up and down his dark-wash jeans. 

“Te ves muy guapo, Javi—even in my shirt.” 

Snorting, he looked at you, finding your eyes already on him, waiting, a smirk slid up into your cheek that made it near impossible not to pull you close and kiss you. But he’d have time.

Plenty of it. 

Thankful he recognised the sign for the place he needed, when you were still none the wiser. Your brain not even catching on when he pulled into the arcade parking lot, your face still looking up at him, peering—studying every inch of him, as though you never get the chance to. Not that he could complain, he does the same whenever he gets the chance, too. 

By the time he’d come to let you out your side of the truck, your door was already open—smoothing down your summer dress. Taking your hand in his. “So, let me explain.” 

“You found us a photo booth.” 

Looping his fingers through, tightening his hold, he pressed a kiss to your cheek—both for being too fucking smart and also because fuck, you got him. “I found us a photo booth, cariño. C’mon.” 

Hidden in the back, there it was. Tucked away, it’s interestingly the one place in the arcade relatively quiet of people. The red curtain open, your hand practically dragging him—even if it was he who planned it—before stopping at the doorway, turning to him. Before your mouth even opens, he knows what you’re going to say, his hand already digging in his pocket, pulling out the money he knew would be needed. 

“We should think of poses,” you say, sliding in next to him, as you draw the curtain. 

His eyes glanced, taking in how it was a floor-to-ceiling one—more discreet, private. Even if the sounds of bells, cheers and loud music still made their way through it to your two’s space. 

“Unless you just want to recreate the last one?”

Handing you the money, he wraps his arm around you, fingers on your waist. Needing you to be close as he suggests you kiss his cheek, something sweet, innocent. Your smile twitches before you nod, doing your thing with the money and hitting the button to get it going. 

It’s only when he feels you twist towards him, his fingers sliding the strap of your dress up, that he realises how amazing the last year has been, and yet, while he feels the same as when he first met you, he also feels so much more—more than he ever thought possible after all the things he’d done and seen. 

Because, even now, you still make his heart skip a beat as you move closer like that first week. Make his cheeks warm as your lips ghost over his cheek. 

He knows the seconds are ticking down, both all set in place as the booth counts down, but he can feel the edges of his mouth bucking under the happiness you provide, it almost making him want to grin.

And he does—just after the flash. 

Something rising in him, desperate to ignite. It explodes inside him like fireworks; the feeling is born from the ash of who he used to be, spreading itself through him to add more weight to the person he now feels he can be because of you. 

His gratitude for it being pressed to your lips as the plan for chosen poses goes out the window, twisting his own body, a sudden need flooding through him just to have you close, pressed against him. His fingers slid around the base of your neck, kissing you desperately, hungrily. 

Javi tastes the mint from brushing your teeth, the warmth of your breath—and even if he gets to kiss you all the time now, it still blows him away. Because it’s you—you and him. 

Your lips part, inviting him in closer as the softest whimper escapes as his thumb and index squeeze your neck, wrist flush with your collarbone, as he crashes his mouth to yours—slanting, swallowing whatever you’ll give him. Lost in it, how you feel against him, how your thighs have spread just for him. The flash illuminates the space, his smile growing, pressing another to you, and another. 

It becomes a dance, a sudden know of what to do as he moves again. 

Giving his back to the camera, Javi buries his face into your neck as he hears you whimper his name—blissed out at the feeling of your hand in his hair, pulling, tugging as his fingers snake under your dress. A laugh falling, more in disbelief than anything, a whispered ‘we shouldn’t’ that he’s quick to swallow. 

Because he should—the two of you should. 

He couldn’t think of something more beautiful, more perfect to be captured and framed in your two’s room than you coming undone for him. That thought cruises through him, blood pounding in his ears, as he brushes over soft, warm skin before his thumb presses over the lace between your legs, feeling the sudden growing wet patch spreading across your underwear. Your laugh stolen, thieved, all twisted into a moan that made his smile grow as he rolled the tip of his tongue over that spot on your neck. The one which he knows has your eyes all lust-blown, just as the flash explodes white around the two of you as you moan his name.

His. 

A sound he collects whenever he can. Bottles it. Stores it on a shelf inside of him that used to be empty. That could never be filled by any vice he had picked up, but now it is all easily full of you. The happiness you bring, the comfort, 

And he knows he has seconds—if that. 

Sliding up, shifting the fabric from between your legs as he feels it. He’ll never tire of it, the proof that you want him—over and over. Your fingers find his chin at the last second, lifting him to stare as his fingers coat themselves in how much you need him. 

You saying it, beating him to it. Robbing him of it—not that he cares.

“Happy one-year anniversary, baby.”

In a way, he wishes his back wasn’t to the camera as his hand slides back to resting on your thigh. Because now he suddenly wants the chance to see how he looks as he hears the words. Imagining it from the effect it has on him; how each letter coats him, heals him. 

Instead, he whispers them back. Enjoys a front-row seat to watching the impact they have on you, now just wishing the camera is good enough to capture the shimmer in your eyes, the look of adoration, the thinnest crease between your brows he knows he mirrors. 

Because it’s you, it’s him. 

The two of you frozen like that, a sea of other words silently being shared—your hand reaching up, cupping his cheek, thumb stroking his skin, just like you always do as the machine begins to churn, preparing and readying the photos for the two of you.

“Thank you for bringing us here,” you add, only when the machine quietens.

Nodding, he swallows. “You’re welcome. I… I didn’t know you were an exhibitionist, cariño.”

Your eyes narrow, lips pursing before you smirk. “If you were a smart man, you’d put more money into the machine and finish what you started.” 

Javi does.

Because of course he fucking does. 

Haphazardly stuffing what he can into it before he’s pulled by his collar, his lips crashing against yours. 

AN: Halloween one shot of this pairing will still be up on the 31st. I've just missed them so goddamn much.

[lemonlover1110]

𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝

Toji Fushiguro

[Chapter 4] Car Ride

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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Chapter Warnings: Angst, Talks of Abortion

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Toji tries to hand you the bouquet of flowers, but you don’t take them from his hands. Your eyes linger on them, and while it’s a beautiful arrangement, you don’t want to take them. For some reason, you feel that if you take them, he’ll believe you’re accepting to try and work things out which you aren’t willing to do. Even though maybe you should.

You turn your head when you see Shiu drive off, and you roll your eyes. Toji clears his throat and he assures you, “I’ll drive you home.”

“I have to buy a mattress.” You inform him, and he slowly nods his head. He doesn’t mind, you guess. You still can’t help but ask the question, “What about your job?”

“I can leave early, it doesn’t matter.” He responds, and you sigh. Suddenly he can leave early but when you begged to have a date night, he was always busy. He’s putting in so much effort now, effort that he should’ve put in before you decided you were going to leave. “Do you wanna go do that now? We can talk while we go shopping for that.”

“I guess…” You search around to see if you find Shiu’s car in the distance. You don’t really want to talk to Toji, but you also have no other way to go home other than by walking or taxi. Plus you need his help right now. You look around to find his car, and you find it a long way down the road. 

You begin to walk to his car, and he follows behind, running so he can open the door for you. You don’t thank him when he does, you just get in the passenger seat, and you side eye him when he doesn’t shut the door. He throws the flowers on your lap and when he shuts the door, you toss them to the backseat. When he gets into the driver’s seat he asks, “Why don’t you want the flowers?”

“What’s the point of them? Aren’t we getting divorced?” You respond, and he tries to take a deep breath. He turns on the car and pulls out of his parking spot, driving somewhere. You know this route, and it’s not where he’s supposed to take you. You don’t speak about it, it’s your own fault. You weren’t seriously expecting Toji of all people to be cooperative, were you?

“Shiu told me you got a nice little apartment…” He speaks up when he stops at a red light. You hum in response, not really trying to engage in a conversation. You lean your head back, resting it and shutting your eyes. You just want this to be over. Never in your life did you expect to dread being in a car next to Toji. The love of your life sits next to you, and you can’t wait to get out. To run and never have to see him again.

You open your eyes and see that you’re not driving back to Toji’s apartment. He’s taking a detour. At least you won’t have to take a taxi. Your eyes shift to him, his eyes are focused on the road. His hands clench the steering wheel while he bites down on his lip. His eyes finally glance at you, and you avert your gaze to the road that’s in front of you. “So um… What do you do?”

“Nothing cool.” You answer. You hear him exhale. Maybe he’ll stop asking dumb questions to fill up the silence. You’ve gotten accustomed to a quiet car ride, every time that you tried to speak up you’d be shot down. You don’t understand why he’s trying to change now– He already signed the papers. 

“Will you still show up for Megumi?” He asks, and you take a moment to think about it. Should you really? Toji constantly reminded you that you weren’t Megumi’s mother in any way, why should you try? But even then, you and Megumi grew close and formed a bond. Megumi shouldn’t have to pay for his father’s mistakes. You don’t give him a definitive answer though, simply an,

“I’ll try.”

“Why are you like this? Can’t you see that I’m trying?” He finally snaps, making you scoff. You cross your arms, debating if this is even worth engaging. He just wants a reaction out of you. Something that is longer than two words. “I’m just thinking that you wanted a divorce because you’re seeing someone else. If you actually loved me, you would at least try to work this out.”

He succeeds. He gets the reaction that he wants. You’re seething with his words and you yell, “I’ve been the only one trying this entire marriage, Toji! Not even these past two years, our entire relationship! Do you think I just came to this decision overnight? Do you think just a couple days of you trying will make up for five years of your neglect? It’s funny that you’re the one talking about cheating when you–”

“Here you go again with the same fucking shit! That happened years ago and you don’t let me forget. You should’ve just left me then!” He raises his voice as well, frustrated with this whole situation.

“Then why the fuck are you so upset that I’m leaving you now? Tell me, Toji. Like this you won’t have to hear me complain about it!” You respond, and he has to pull over into a plaza to park. It’s best if you get out here and call a taxi. You’ll order a mattress online, and sleep on the floor for the time being. When he puts the car in park and the doors unlock, and just as you’re about to open the car door, he locks them. You hate his car because his side is the only one that has controls to lock and unlock the car.

“That was years ago… I’m trying to become a better man, please. Give me a chance.” He sounds vulnerable, and part of you wants to comfort him. You love him more than anything and anyone, you’re willing to work it out. But for your sake… And for your baby’s sake, you have to leave Toji. He claims that he’ll be better but he won’t. 

“How long will it take for you to go back to being him? The same man that couldn’t even care to share how his day was when I asked him. You claimed that you’d change a couple times, Toji. You did change for a couple of days, but you always went back to your cold demeanor.” Your voice is breaking, and you can’t afford to start crying in front of him. You won’t let him see you so weak again, “I’ve seen the way you looked at her, and I want someone to look at me the same way. I deserve that. I know that you can’t be that same man for me, and I’ve come to respect that. The same way I want you to respect me leaving. I don’t want you to reach out to me just for the sole purpose of getting back together. We need time apart.”

He runs a hand through his hair, trying to think of what he’s going to say next. He won’t admit that he’s at fault for all of this. Toji shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He tries to be rational– To be the mature adult that he’s supposed to be. He takes a deep breath before speaking. “I’m going to unlock the doors. If you get out of the car, I won’t talk to you ever again. All I can say is good luck in your life.”

“That’s not possible.” You mutter, but he hears it loud and clear. Are you insinuating that he’s a weak man? That’s what he’s hearing at the very least, and Toji hates it.

“What are you trying to say? Are you saying that I’ll come crawling back to you? That you’re irreplaceable or something like that, because I have some news for you–” He raises his voice and you feel the tears well up in your eyes. You swallow the lump that comes to your throat before you yell,

“I’m pregnant, Toji! That’s what I’m trying to say, I’m pregnant.” You watch him as his eyes go wide, his breath getting caught up. You’re waiting for him to say the worst, knowing that he doesn’t want this. “I don’t need your help though. I’ll be fine. If you don’t want a part in any of this, then when I exit the car, you’ll be dead to me the same way I’ll be dead to you.”

A smile comes to his face, and you feel sick. You know he isn’t happy that he’s having a baby. You want to fool yourself into thinking that he is, but you know he’s not. He doesn’t care about that. He’s just thinking about– He grabs your hands and brings them up to his lips, kissing them gently before he puts them around his face. “Please stay. For our baby.”

He’s thinking about trapping you. Like this you won’t leave his side. He’s not thinking about all the what ifs and the struggles that come with pregnancy and a child. He doesn’t want this for the right reasons, and you hate it. His face inches closer to yours, and he’s about to kiss you but you pull away.

“Open the car door.” You tell him, your voice stern. His brows furrow.

“We have to talk about this.” He says, and you shake your head. You have to take a deep breath so he doesn’t hear your voice. You don’t want him to hear you on the verge of tears even though your watery eyes are the dead give away.

“No, you think that I’m going to stay with you because I’m pregnant. But I’m not. I don’t have to rely on you.” You respond. 

“Why don’t you just get an abortion then?” He asks, and that’s when the tears that are in your eyes fall. He bites his tongue, quickly regretting the words that just left his lips. “I mean… If you’re so set on being alone, do you really want to have my baby? You know that means we’re stuck together in a sense.”

“No it doesn’t.” You wipe away the tears that managed to escape. You try to reach over to unlock the car door, and when you manage to unlock it, he doesn’t waste a second to lock it back up. He pushes your hand away. “Just forget that I told you anything. You don’t want another kid, and I’m not forcing you to be a father. I can be a mother by myself.”

“For how long have you known?” He questions, and you take a deep breath.

“I just found out.” You confess. 

“And you decided that you’re going to be a single mother? Do you know how fucking hard it is to raise a child by yourself? You haven’t even thought about it for a day.” He points out. You bite down on your lip and think about what you’ll say next.

“I mean… I handled all of Megumi’s issues myself even when I wasn’t supposed to be a parent. And I got used to the idea that if I ended up pregnant, you’d end up leaving. So I don’t really need to think about it more.” You share, and he scoffs.

“You really think I would just leave you?” He questions and you stay silent. That’s his response. “I would’ve never done that to you.”

“I don’t know Toji, you made it clear that the idea of having kids with me was a nightmare and that you only had money and time for Megumi.” You remind him, and Toji finds himself speechless. You sigh. You really hate this. “I’m telling you because it’s my duty. If you want to come around, great. If you don’t, also great. Me and my baby will do just fine.”

“It’s my baby too.” He says. “I guess… You should do whatever you think it’s best. But if we’re not getting back together, you should get an abortion.”

“I’m not doing that, Toji. I’ve always wanted a baby, and this is my chance.” You respond, even though part of you agrees with him. “Just… Let me out.”

“I’m getting you that mattress and then taking you home.” He replies. You take a deep breath watching as he switches the gear to drive. “Then we’re going to talk about this.”

[loveswrites]

Rainy Road Part 2

Rainy Road Part 2 Poly Cullens x Reader

Time it took me: A while can't even lie

Word count: 1501

To anon: There will be a part 3 ofc my loves

Love <3

Cold. Cold was all you felt. It had been 3 months since The Cullens left. From that night on forward you felt like time was paused for you but was still going on for everyone else. The seasons change and the leaves fall. All you can see is that rainy road from that night. Bella was no different. When your mates left, so did hers. You never thought Alice would do something like that to Bella. But then again you never thought any of the Cullens would do something like that to you. Everything went against your better judgment. 

Charlie has tried to get you and Bella to go out more, talk more, eat more. The eating part was more so pointed towards you. When you woke up from that night you felt fine until all your memories came rushing back. When you did you woke up in a hospital. You had hoped and prayed that the doctor that would walk through that door was Carilse. But he never came. He never showed. That broke you more than having a broken arm ever could. You didn’t know what to do. Carilse was only ever concerned about your health. Being the amazing doctor he is. And his love for you only amplified his push for you to stay healthy. 

So you did the only thing you could do. 

You went on a hunger strike. For two weeks straight you wouldn’t eat anything other than the spoonful of food Charlie would practically shove down your throat. He would beg and plead for you to eat something. He didn’t care what it was. You thought starving yourself would bring him back. Would bring them back. It didn’t. No sign of them was ever found. That hurt you more. They really didn’t care. Everything they said was true. Those months you spent loving them, understanding them, caring for them. Meant nothing to them.

You couldn’t sleep most nights, and when you did they were full of nightmares. The hateful words they said to you that night rang through your head. The voices were so loud you’d wake up screaming in terror. This was hard for Charlie. If it wasn't Bellas screams waking up the whole house it was you. No one had gotten a good night's rest since that night and it was really showing. Charlie would get caught falling asleep on the job whenever he was at work, He'd fall asleep mid dinner, etc. That made you feel bad. You couldn't hide your pain even if you tried. You couldn't like and say you were fine. Your eyes tell a thousand truths.. That's something you always told Edward whenever you caught him being closed off.

You could always read him like a book. Not that night though. 

It was late or early in the morning you should say. You wouldn't know you didn't go to sleep last night. You couldn't. You watched the sunrise as much as it could behind the gloomy clouds. The sound of rain hitting your bedroom window brung tears to your eyes. That sound only reminded you what happened that night. But it also let you know that what happened was real. Not just a traumatic nightmare or dream. 

It was the weekend so you were free to do whatever you wanted. Yay, you thought dryly to yourself. A knock coming from your bedroom door  brung you out of your thoughts. As it opened Charlie peeked his head in.

"You alright in here?" He asked.

You shrugged your shoulders in response. You've never been so not alright in your life. Everyone knew that.

"How'd you sleep? I didn't hear anything last night.." Charlie said walking into your room.

"I didn't sleep." Your voice reeked of never ending tears. You felt like an overflowing river. Or more so you felt that you were drowning in that river.

"Oh.." He said. And even looking out the window you knew he was scratching the back of his head.

"Your mom called." He stated.

"Okay." You said plainly as your voice cracked.

"She wants you and Bella to come visit her for a while in-"

"No thanks." You cut him off sitting up to face him but not before wiping the tears off your face. 

"You're not well. You're worse than Bella. You're going. You haven't left your room since I don't even remember when. You're worrying me." Charlie stressed out.

"I- that would make me worse." You said trying to think of something to say other than just kill me.

"You need to go out, have fun like you used to. Seth called his worried about you too he says you guys haven't talked in months. Why don't you hang out with him?" Charlie suggested.

"Sure." That was the last thing you wanted to do.

"Great! I'll tell him you're on your way over." Charlie said before he made his way out of your room. When you heard your door close you sat up.

You were irritated by the events of this whole thing. You didn’t want to go see Seth. You didn’t want to go see anybody. You barely even wanted to look at yourself. You don’t even remember the last time you looked at yourself. The last time you saw Seth was that night.

Everyone told you that Seth was the one who found you that night, you wished he didn’t. You had wished he left you in the middle of that road to die like the family who swerved to avoid hitting you did. No one would let you go see the family or try to go say sorry. You were hysterical. You couldn’t even form a simple sentence to the doctor when they would ask you “Where does it hurt the most?” And all you could do was point to your heart and gasp for air. 

After 10 minutes of laying there in your bed contemplating if this life was really truly worth living you got out of your bed. Walking in the hallway you were faced with Bella who looked as horrible as you felt. She was dressed and she had her bag over her shoulder. 

“Where are you going?” You asked. You don’t hear her leave her room unless Charlie calls you both down for breakfast and dinner. 

“Charlie.” Bella said and that was all it took for you to know that he gave you both the ultimatum. Either get better here or go home with mom.  

“Who he'd make you go see.” You were kinda curious.

“Anyone really, I chose Jessica though.” She spoke softly.

“What about you?” She questioned back.

“Seth.” You both shared a look and both shook your head and parted ways.

The front door closed the same time you closed the bathroom door.

Looking in the mirror for the first time in a long time you couldn’t help but look back and see yourself as a widow. You were never married to your mates but in some way it felt like that was an unspoken marriage to begin with. Sighing you spent a long, much needed hour in the bathroom. And when you walked out you felt like a new woman with a shiny broken heart. You got dressed and after another hour you were off to Seths. 

As you drove the car Carlisle bought you for your birthday you fought yourself to not get lost in your own thoughts. Why didn’t he take the car? They took Bella’s radio but not my car? Maybe that would be something too big to not notice being gone? Before you knew it you were at Seth’s place. No matter how slow you drove you got here too fast in your head. You couldn’t express how much you didn’t want to be here but here you were. Letting out another breath you got out of the car and before you slammed your door shut the door to the cabin opened. 

Turning around you saw Seth walking out with a smile on his face. Giving him a soft smile you closed your car door and walked up to him closing the distance. 

“Hey.” He said smiling.

“Hi Seth.” You said softly. 

“I missed you.” He said pulling you in for a hug. You tensed at the physical affection. He always hugged you when you saw each other. But it seemed all too much today. You found yourself holding back your tears immediately when you hugged him back. He wasn’t who you wanted to hold, to touch.. 

Pulling away after a while you sneezed and quickly wiped your eyes. 

“So what do you wanna do?” you asked. 

“We can watch some movies and order food if you want?” He said.

“Sure I guess that would be fine.” You replied softly. Seth smiled and you both started walking towards the cabin. Your social battery was already on hell. You had no clue how you were going to get through this. 

[buccini555]

𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 - 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩

♡ What would it be like to have a secret relationship with one of the city's most dangerous gangsters?

♡ H e a d c a n o n s/I m a g i n e s .ᐟ .ᐟ

♡ 𝑭𝒕. Ran Haitani

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨 . 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨 . 𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨 . 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 . 𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 ♡ . 𝐊𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞 . 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢

tw: amost none, but, excessive jealousy mention and control/manipulation mention

𝗥𝗮𝗻 𝗛𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗶: Ran isn't very sociable when he's in a bad mood, but as soon as he saw you pass by him, He can't deny that he was interested in you, Ran's the flirtatious type so he immediately went to start some conversation with you, Ran knew that ge wouldn't be able to forget you after the first time, so he wanted to repeat the dose by maintaining a secret relationship with you.

He is somewhat detached and often doesn't seem to care, even so, he cares a lot about you, even if he denies it, he truly loves you, Ran is jealous, ends up often being controlling, he ends up wanting to take over he takes control of his life and becomes easily enraged when he feels that you are not treating him exclusively, the tall one likes attention, thus demanding a lot of your precious time.

A few months into your relationship, he invited you to live with him in a large, extremely well-decorated house, even though he intended to keep your relationship a secret, Ran is very discreet about it, even so, he rarely ends up taking you on dates outside from home, you usually go to the mall together, especially to stores, Ran loves the fact that she can choose your clothes and is meticulous in the way you chooses to dress you just to please him visually.

Not everything is sweet in your relationship, Ran makes a point of reminding you how dangerous he can be every time you argue and you think about leaving, sometimes he even shows some signs of aggression towards you even though he's calm most of the time, another fact about Ran is that he often ends up being extremely demanding, he wants you to have the perfect relationship but often doesn't even make an effort to achieve that goal, he just keeps you a secret for safety's sake, but, secretly, it's also out of jealousy, he doesn't want other guys to know who his one and only is.

tw: pet names (honey, baby, babygirl, dollface, sweet, hottie), car in sex mention, sex in public place, unprotected sex, words like (bitch, slut and others like), creampie, pregnancy mention(?), cigarette use

That night alone in your house, Ran had committed to taking you to dinner after another tedious meeting at Bonten's, later, as soon as the older Haitani returned to your home, he felt admired as soon as he entered the living room door with you the waiting dressed in a black dress covered by an overcoat that he had bought you last week, Ran gave you a kiss and soon after went to take a shower, ending up not taking long to return to the room where you were still anxiously waiting for him to the date in night.

"You look so beautiful, honey, were you waiting for me?" He questions, looking you up and down, passing the tip of his tongue over his own lips, leaving aside the suit he was carrying on his arm to hug you.

"Yes, baby." You replied as he cupped your face to kiss his cheek. "You're perfect, my princess, queen..." Smiling again, Ran exclaimed right away. "C'mon, sweetie?" You questioned, looking into the taller man's eyes. "C'mon, sunshine." Holding your hand and kissing it subtly, he gently held your arm and took you to his new car that was already on the street.

The place was a bit far away, Ran preferred to take you to more distant places, so they soon ended up taking some kind of road, the weather wasn't as cold that night as you thought, so he ended up taking off his coat and the kept in the back seat of the car, meanwhile, you can notice Ran watching you from the corner of his eye a few times, your dress was really short and with a little cleavage, so, drawing the taller's attention, the wind blew through your hair as you watched him drive intently.

"C'mon, honey, tell me what you want in that pretty dress." Ran said laughing as she increased the speed of his newest luxury car.

You smiled back, placing your hand on his thigh and squeezing it subtly. "What do you want, Ran?" Looking at him, you questioned.

"What do you think? I definitely want my future wife, preferably, on top of me." He responded in a serious tone, stopping the car on a shoulder on the side of the road where there was little lighting. "You're a pervert..." Laughing, you said in a low tone.

"You already know what to do, don't you my princess?" As soon as the car was parked, you unbuckled yourself and climbed on top of Ran who soon covered your mouth, sealing your lips with a warm kiss, you could feel his member through the tailored pants he was wearing at the moment, doing so you become even more euphoric.

"Don't play with your boss, babygirl." Holding you even closer to him, he slapped you on the ass while pressing your hips into his lap, then Ran wasted no time and lifted your dress, keeping your underwear visible while you were still kissing him, then he put on your panties aside, opening his pants soon after.

"A-are you sure you want to do this here, R-ran? Isn't it... Dangerous?" Feeling how excited Ran remained, you exclaimed, trying to contain your emotions slight noises that you let out.

"I need to fuck right now, fuck if it's dangerous or not, have you forgotten who I am baby?" Ran laughed, slowly lifting his hips and fitting his member inside her without thinking twice. "That tight pussy... Fuck." He said amidst a brief sigh.

"I'll fuck you wherever I want, you know that." Holding your waist while you sat on him, Ran said, also trying to contain the light sighs that he eventually let out, so he ended up keeping your mouth busy with a kiss, holding your hair while you went up and down on his dick and also forcing your hand even more and hips, making you feel him inside you completely.

"I-I can't take it." Holding the taller man's shoulders, you said with your face flushed, each thrust made your intimacy become numb amidst so much eminent pleasure received.

"Be a good bitch, fuck it." Ran just put her hand over your mouth, making you shut up in that instant and made you end up going even faster and putting more force into each sit.

"You didn't ask me to fuck you, huh lil slut?" Ran questioned with a whisper in his ear, making his body shiver.

"N-now... Hold on, my little whore, hold on tight like a good whore." Commenting on his speech, Ran grabbed his hair again, throwing it back slightly and leaving his reddened face visible in front of his eyes.

"You want to cum on my dick, don't you dollface? Tell me, Mmm?" While masturbating you slowly, Ran questioned looking into your eyes.

"R-ran... F-fuck" You shook your head in affirmation, intensifying the act even more.

"Cum for me, c'mon, cum for me, my fucking hottie." Licking his own lips again, he said, Ran was also overcome by lust, it wouldn't take long for him to reach his limit, even so, he wanted to go faster just to test the limits of his body.

"R-ran, please, please..." Moving your hips back and forth, you couldn't take the pleasure anymore, you just felt your intimacy soaking with each movement.

"S-shit, babygirl, you drive me fucking crazy." Ran said tilting her head back.

"Fuck me completely, Ran" Soon after, you responded.

"You're insatiable, aren't you?" He looked you up and down, watching every movement of your body, no longer able to contain his excitement.

"If you don't get off me I'm going to fill you up, bitch..." Panting, Ran exclaimed.

You continued, keeping the taller man's speech uninhibited. "I told you to fuck me completely, Haitani."

"...Disgraceful bitch." Before finally reaching your limit and dumping all that hot liquid inside and deep inside you, Ran spoke.

After that, you remained on top of him for a moment, you were both exhausted after that sex, so Ran just wanted to drive home slowly.

"If we have a son, at least he will be beautiful like me, don't you think?" Opening the window and lighting a cigarette while you faced the passenger seat, Ran said jokingly. "Fuck you, Ran." Sullenly, you responded immediately. "...I'd rather fuck you." Taking a drag of cigarette, he told you in a testing tone.

[miaclemeverett]

amazon standing lamp - using drugs and sex and other unhealthy distractions and coping mechanisms to deal with losing people you love out of your own fault. the top-heavy amazon standing lamp part is a really old wilbur joke (back in 2020 he joked about naming a song this) and it also reminds me of how (i think it was him?) he once said that he moves house so often that he loses so many belongings and only has a few things left that he cares about, i think this pairs really well in the song how the artificial meaningless things are all that remain

mine / yours - the breakdown of a relationship, seeing the warning signs and the things you take for granted assuming a person will stay with you forever despite it all

around the pomegranate - this song reminds me a lot of "since i saw vienna", when a place (california in this song) becomes so married to a person that it serves as a source of comfort and nostalgia for when things were simple and happier. being on the road you can never set down roots and people come and go from your life

i don't think it will ever end - he lives life in front of millions of people (chat in this song) watching his every move, like an actor he either has to play the part he's made for himself or isolate himself from this audience, it's a repetitive cycle that sends him downhill

glass chalet - back in the dark days of 2021 i remember wilbur would always joke (SLASH SERIOUS) about quitting streaming and disappearing off the face of the planet for years without a single word. VERY HEALTHY MINDSET exhibited right here in this song

melatonin 130 - I LOVE 100 GECS!! but in all seriousness the constant reminder that you have mental illness/anxiety your entire life and you can only cope with it, that it impairs you even when you should be happy cus obviously you're living out what you thought was your dream and everyone else thinks you should be on top of the world duh!

oh distant you - JUST KILL ME. your sister was right but WORSE!!!!!!!! again you take for granted that someone will stick with you forever and only after it's over realizing that you can't fill the hole where they were. and again we're back on fixating on who is the villain in this narrative

eulogy - your sister was right but worse 2, this song focuses on the whispers (good and bad) leftover from a relationship. harkening back to screensaver where he says that the subject in talking about their relationship basically makes him sound like hitler, and your sister was right where he talks about the warning signs the subject should have seen, this squarely places the blame on him

dropshipped cat shirt - I LOVE 100 GECS!!! but anyway the grueling day-to-day of being on the move, singing to people who adore you and make up a version of you in their head, latching onto unhealthy coping mechanisms to keep going, you have everything you ever needed and wanted but you're bored out of your mind

the median - short but sweet! as i said earlier, wilbur always has to play a part, and this audience projects their version of himself as the truth

trying not to think about it - I KNOW I PUT DAMN NEAR THE WHOLE SONG DOWN HERE BUT LISTEN. again realizing how much you take for granted the assumption that someone will stick with you forever. wilbur has mentioned before how as a hypochondriac, he's never taken seriously by doctors whenever he doesn't feel well. also this idea of romance and love as something just for the aesthetic, not as something that gives you stability and meaning but realizing that it can be that for you until its too late.

10 week rule - who got him pregnant?? but in all seriousness i think this can be read as a way of turning a new page, but obviously its not as simple as just getting rid of something unwanted

[6lostgirl6]

Can you please do a Dracula fic for me where it is modern times and you are Dracula’s mate. He sees you and immediately knows what/who you are to him. He goes about trying to court you but he does it in the same way you would way back when. You find it cute and sweet, seeing as how most guys put minimal effort in and just wanna get in your pants. Basically you guys fall in love and he tells you what/who he is, you obviously accept it, and maybe ends with you asking him to turn you. Which he’s obviously gonna do.

Thank you. 🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️

Chivalry Is Undead

Pairing: Modern!Vladislaus Dracula x Fem!Reader

TW: Dracula haunted by your death, blood mention, dead bodies mentioned, reincarnation, mentions of past life, Dracula hissing at you, turning.

There was only one moment in time in which Vladislaus Dracula was able to find a sense of true happiness in his life. This was the time he felt like he was truly a human being rather than a monster, a tyrant. The time in which he still had you, his long lost wife.

Now, centuries later, he was considering taking a trip across the world to ease the pain of losing the only thing he had ever truly loved and felt that he could never recover from. The trip from Romania to America was rough, staying in the cargo hold of a boat until they reached land. By the time he was able to step out, the entire crew was lifeless and drained of all blood.

A few days after he arrived in the city, he decided to explore the area and get to know the city a little better.

It was impossible not to notice how out of place the vampire Lord stood in the crowd. He was dressed in clothes that would remind people of the Victorian era. It didn’t help that he was the only one to carry an umbrella during the day without a sign of rain. However, he also caught the attention of multiple women, none of which interested him. His beloved wife held a special place in his heart, there was no room for any other.

After walking for a while, he was suddenly hit with a very peculiar scent in the air. Dracula paused in his steps, his eyes widening as he took in the sweet aroma. His undead heart would have skipped a beat if he were human.

He could smell the scent of his beloved.

He hastened his steps, effortlessly pushing through the crowd as he did so. He wasn't going to let any disgusting human get in the way of him finding his lost love. He paused again, standing in the spot where the sweet aroma was at its strongest.

Suddenly, he widened his eyes in shock as he looked across the busy street and a rare smile appeared on his face. His pupils began to dilate as he stared across the street. There you were, standing near the crosswalk with a device in your hand that he remembered was a cellphone.

He couldn't imagine anything more beautiful than you; the exact image of the beloved he lost so long ago. The sensation of moving towards you itched in his body. He was tempted to forget about the traffic in front of him and just appear before you. It was your touch, your presence, and your entire being that once soothed his tyrannical soul. He missed you and desperately wanted you back in his arms and that is exactly what he'll do.

You were watching something on your phone, waiting for the pedestrian signal to change so you and a small crowd of people could cross the road. Soon, the pedestrian signal turned green, allowing you and the small crowd to begin walking across safely. After crossing the road, you went to walk down the sidewalk when you suddenly bumped into what seemed like a brick wall, causing you to drop your phone. 

With the stranger's quick reflexes, he was able to grab your phone before it could land on the pavement.

“Apologies, Miss...” He said, his voice was deep with a Romanian accent, handing out the device towards you.

"Thank you so much." You said with a sheepish smile, taking your phone back from the handsome stranger. "I'm really sorry, I should have been paying better attention."

Damn, even her voice is the same...

He waved his hand towards you dismissing your apology with a friendly smile. "No, do not apologize, the fault is mine. Might I ask your name?" He asked with curiosity.

You found him awfully charming and you gave your name out instantly. "What's your name?" You asked, just as curious about the handsome stranger. In that moment, the stranger took your hand not holding your phone and pressed a kiss upon your knuckles. You felt your heart skip a beat. 

“What a gorgeous name…” He muttered, staring into your eyes. 

Dracula’s keen hearing was able to sense your nervousness and your immediate attraction to him. His mind was hazy and fangs aching to make their claim upon your delicate throat. To claim you as his mate so he would never lose you again. "You may call me Vlad, my dear, I have traveled all the way from Transylvania for sight-seeing." 

“You’ve come a long way…” You uttered, your gazes were still locked on one another, unable to break the connection between you both. 

“I have, but I believe the agonizing trip was well-worth it, to see true beauty such as yourself.” He commented, smirking a little when he noticed the warmth flooding your cheeks. “I was exploring the city, but it would be lovely to have someone like you accompanying me. Would you like that?” 

Your eyes softened, giving a smile from his charm, he was quite different from the other men you would see around the city. It warmed your heart to have a man show genuine interest in you and want to merely spend time with you. “I would love that.” 

Dracula felt relieved as his eyes softened from your acceptance. He held his arm out and you quickly wrapped your arm around his own, elbows linked together. It was very old-fashioned you can admit, but you couldn’t help but prefer it. However, you couldn’t place it, but the gesture was oddly familiar, as if he’s done this with you before. 

Your relationship with Vlad has been going well for a few months now and you are happier than you have ever been. Since becoming his unofficial tour guide, you have spent almost every day with him. You have even been on a few dates with him, unable to resist his sweet nature and silver tongue. Dates that consisted of fine restaurants and extravagant tours of the city that you had never had the opportunity to experience before. However, you noticed that Vlad was very vague when it came to specifics about himself. In particular, he was not interested in discussing his past, his finances, or his methods of obtaining them and his need for carrying an umbrella everywhere. When you asked him why, he mentioned it was because he had a rare skin condition that would become irritated if exposed to direct sunlight.

Despite his mysterious behavior, you still found him extremely charming and you noticed that you were starting to grow intense feelings for him. However, as your relationship developed and your feelings grew, you began having dreams, strange dreams. More like nightmares because you would always dream about ancient times where you and Vlad were once married where the dream would end with your impending doom, you were never given details of your ultimate demise.

You never bothered to tell Vlad, not wanting to push him away or make him think you were crazy because you dreamt that you were his wife in some past life, you never wanted to ruin your chances with him. For instance, you were going on another date with him tonight, deciding that you both would meet each other in an extravagant park that was quite a distance from the city.

After getting into your car and making the drive away from the city, you arrived in the parking lot near the entrance of the park. Glancing outside your window, you turned off the engine before stepping out onto the concrete. It was just after dusk and the skies were starting to become darker as the minutes moved on. After locking your car, you headed over to the entrance and looked around. 

Part of you disliked Vlad not having a cellphone, due to him hating technology, but you had no way of getting a hold of him should you ever needed him or his location. Checking the time on your phone, you sighed as you were about to put it away. You were becoming a little anxious that you might have been stood up.

“Looking for something?” A pleasant voice whispered in your ear, thick Romanian accent sending shivers down your spine. 

You jolted slightly, gasping as you turned towards the person. Standing behind you with an amused smirk was Vlad, seemingly entertained by your reaction. You rolled your eyes and playfully smacked his arm, knowing that it wouldn’t hurt him. “You scared me!” You exclaimed, a teasing smile plastered on your face. 

“I apologize, my sweet.” Vlad replied, staring intently into your eyes. He thought it was delectable how scared you became, even if it only lasted for a meer moment. He was dressed in black with a thick overcoat. “It’s rude to scare the lady that captured my heart.” He continued, reaching out to take your hand in his own. He couldn’t resist touching you.

You felt your cheeks grow a little warm, gripping his hand as you both entered the park, enjoying the scenery. However, you were still a little distracted from the dreams you’ve been having. Usually, you were able to ignore it until you went home where you could reflect after your dates with Vlad. Now though, your mind was constantly replaying the dreams in a loop. You didn't notice how distant you became the more the date went on, getting lost in your own head.

Dracula noticed you were more quiet than usual, opting to replying in short answers or needing him to repeat himself. Dracula may have been old, but he understood when someone is thinking about something, something very important.

He stopped you both when you appeared next to a fountain, turning towards you and taking both of your hands in his own. "What bothers you so, my sweet?" He asked, concern evident in his gaze.

"I'm sorry..." You muttered, a little embarrassed from your behavior. "I've just been thinking about some things."

"Like what? Does something trouble you?" He questioned, squeezing your hands. Everything was feeling very familiar again, and you were starting to feel a little weird.

"I've been having...strange dreams lately. Dreams that seem very real and like I've been there before. But it's impossible, right? Dreaming about something that's never happened?" You explained, but it only left you asking questions.

Dracula swore his heart jumped to his throat. Could this mean you were starting to remember your past life with him? Was his mere presence and time spent with you the answer to getting you back?

"What do you dream about?" He stepped closer, his gaze refusing to leave your own. "What is it, my sweet?" He was eager to hear your answer.

"It's really stupid, it's like we've met before? The dreams start with us being married during an ancient time and the dream ends with me dying in some way and leaving you behind...the dream never gives me answers though..." You explained, voice low. "But, we were really happy and I woke up crying sometimes."

"It's because it was real..." Dracula replied, his eyes soft and if he could, tears would have been gathering in his own eyes. "It was real, my sweet..."

"But that's impossible, Vlad." You stated, a little confused from his reaction. "Past lives don't exist and even if you were alive during that time, you would be dead right now."

Dracula sighed, before looking around. He didn't sense anyone else in the vicinity, meaning that the both of you were completely alone. For once in his immortal life; he felt nervous, nervous for your reaction.

"Come, my sweet," Leading you by the hand, you both walked over to the fountain, sitting down on the stone structure. "There is something we must discuss."

"Vlad...this isn't because of my dreams, right? It's okay if you think it's weird..." You started before Vlad politely cut you off, showing his hand.

"My darling, the dreams you've been experiencing are very much real. Centuries ago, you were the love of my life and we were once married. My pride, arrogance, and selfish desires caused me to lose you forever. However..." He gripped your hand tightly. "I have you once more, in this life. I've been given a second chance at happiness my darling, with you." He explained, he didn't want to beat around the bush.

You stared at him, slightly in shock from his explanation. Your mind was going a mile a minute, and crazy as you may seem, part of you believed him. However, the logical part of your mind screamed at you to wake up. If it were true, how is Vlad here?

"Then how are you even alive, Vlad?" You questioned, looking into his eyes.

"Because...I am a monster, my darling." He hesitated before continuing, "I am Count Vladislaus Dracula and I am a vampire."

"W-What?" You asked, standing up and backing away a little. Not allowing you to escape from him again, Dracula stood up and closed the distance between you both once more. He towered over you, his intense gaze staring into your own. "Vlad, that's not-"

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true." He stated, grabbing your hand.

"Vlad, this is such a stupid j-"

Suddenly, Vlad appeared in front of your face, hissing down at you with glowing eyes, fangs protruding from his gums and jaw slightly unhinged like a snake. His face was monstrous and for the first time, you were scared of him. You screamed in fear, struggling to remove yourself from his grip as he wrapped his arm around your waist, gripping your wrist with his other hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The monstrous face of Vlad returned to normal, pulling you close as tears gathered in your eyes, trying hard not to sob into his chest. He felt horrible that he had to show you this way, but he didn't know how else to convince you he was telling the truth. "You needed to see, darling, I'm sorry for scaring you." He caressed your hair.

You sniffled, your face pressed against his chest as Vlad continued caressing you, trying to calm you down. His monstrous face tormented your mind, however your heart was screaming that you needed to hear him out.

"M-My dreams..." You pulled away slightly, looking up at him as he moved a free hand to caress your cheek, wiping away stray tears from your skin. "W-We were really married...?"

He gave you a small smile, before nodding his head. "Yes, my sweet, but now we are given a second chance. This time, I will do everything in my power to protect you and keep you with me forever." He promised.

"But you can't..." You replied sadly. Vlad was a vampire, an immortal creature that would continue living for many more centuries, while you could die at any moment. You felt your heart breaking, knowing that even though you had a second chance, you would still lose him.

Unless...

"Unless you change me..." You mentioned, causing Vlad to look into your eyes with an unreadable expression. However, you didn't realize how much Dracula wanted to sink his teeth into your throat and change you right this second. However, he maintained himself as you continued speaking.

"Is that what you want, my darling?" He asked, pulling you close as his other hand moved to cup your other cheek. "Do you wish to become mine eternally?"

"Yes." You answered, wrapping your around his neck which made him want to purr from your affectionate touch. "Yes, I want to become your wife once more."

Without another word and breaking your gazes, he wrapped an arm around your waist before dipping you slightly. From this position, all you could see was the face of your former lover and the stars above.

"Your wish is my command." He uttered, before leaning down, which made you close your eyes instinctively.

You were bracing yourself, awaiting for the pain that would engulf you when Vlad would sink his fangs into your neck. The pain that would ultimately change your life forever. However, that never happened as you felt the man of your literal dreams pressing his lips against your own. You gasped slightly, the kiss between you two quickly becoming passionate.

Dracula couldn't hold back the pleased growl rumbling from his chest. The ability to finally have you in his arms again and tasting your sweetness through the kiss almost made him lose control. However, he wanted to make the change romantic and less painful.

Behind your closed eyes, more memories were revealed like a record player and you felt tears swell into your eyes once more. You remembered everything and your heart shattered, knowing how much pain your husband has been through since your departure.

Reluctantly, Dracula pulled away from the kiss, staring down at you with a pleased smile. Your heart was frantically beating against your chest and the way you were staring up at him made him feel an intense longing. "Are you ready, my darling?"

"Always for you, my king." You uttered in Romanian, your eyes full of devotion locking onto his own.

Dracula's instincts were going mayhem as his eyes widened, hearing those sweet Romanian words fall from your lips, uttering a name that you once called him centuries ago. He missed you so much, and he finally found you, he finally had his beloved wife once more.

"My queen..." He replied in Romanian, smirking down at you as his fangs extended.

Next thing you knew, was the excruciating pain in your neck as the love of your life sunk his fangs deep within your throat before you lost consciousness.

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Taglist: Comment to be added!!

@prettywhenibleed @ghoulgeousimmaculate @britany1997 @scaramantica

[pepperonidk]

Let it Snow || h.js

pairing: joshua hong x f!reader warnings: FLUFF, also this is a very christmas centered , Joshua + reader are both teachers, but it doesn't really come up often word count: 9.1k summary: what does it feel like to be loved by Joshua Hong? It feels like coming home.

a/n: MERRY CHRISTMAS!! this is the first thing I've written since I moved to Korea so y'all be nice lol. this is so self indulgent there's barely even a plot. It's just fluff.

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“So I really don’t understand why we can’t just take one car.” 

You looked up from your computer to find the teacher-next-door Mr. Hong had made himself comfortable, perched on the edge of your desk with a sandwich in his hand. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes with a sigh as you turned back to the lesson plan on your screen.

“I’m just saying,” he continued as he took another bite. “We’re going to the same place, and with gas prices like this, I just think it’s the most logical solution.” You already knew he was looking at you with an eyebrow, waiting for your imminent rebuttal before he presented his own. It was always like this with him, every conversation a game of tug-of-war, and most of the time Joshua had a way of drawing you to his side. Regardless, it never stopped you from playing along.

You pushed back from your desk, swiveling the chair a bit to get a better look at him. “What about car space?” You began. “My car is too small to hold us and our luggage and gifts.” You fight to keep a poker face as Joshua beams at you with his infamous smile. Since first getting hired two years ago to be a third grade teacher you’ve heard countless coworkers and parents walk down your hallway, excitedly chattering about that exact smile. While it wasn’t uncommon to see Joshua smiling (especially for his own third grade class), it did feel special that right now, you were a private audience to it. The idea made your heart flutter.

“So glad you mentioned that,” he offered you a grape from his lunch box. “I was just thinking that my brand new, spacious, 5-seater SUV with ample trunk space and leg room needed to be taken on a road trip.” You took the grape as you mimed considering his response. Honestly, it was a good idea, but admittedly, there was also some satisfaction to be found in pretending to be reluctant.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you thought of another excuse before Joshua interrupted your thoughts. “Can’t think of anything else, can you?” He raised an eyebrow as you rolled your eyes in response.

“Okay, I admit,” you looked up to see Joshua’s face light up. “It’s a pretty good idea.” 

“So that’s a yes?” He asked, finally hopping off your desk and offering you one last grape as the sound of students approaching reminded you that lunch time for teachers was never long enough.

“It’s a yes, Mr. Hong,” you replied, grabbing the grape from his outstretched hand just as you heard an excited squeal. Two third graders were standing at the door, with just the perfect incriminating view of your hand in Joshua’s. You quickly pulled your hand back, like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, not even taking the grape.

As if unfazed by their whispers, Joshua raised an eyebrow in amusement as he decided to pop the grape in his mouth before heading toward the door where the two girls continued to giggle about the scene. “I’ll see you later,” he said to you as he headed for his own classroom. “Have a good class, kids! Be nice to your teacher, it’s the holidays.”

You couldn’t fight the smile on your face as he walked out, even as your kids rushed to your table. “Did Mr. Hong finally ask you to marry him?” One excited child asked. By now, there was a small crowd gathering to find out the details.

“Marry him?” You asked in surprise. “Why would he ask me that?” You stood from your desk and motioned for them to go sit down at their desks, which they obeyed, but the giddy smiles on their faces was a sign that the conversation was not yet over.

“Because he loves you, duh,” A voice called out from the back. “All old people have to get married when they love someone.”

“Yeah,” a chorus of agreement followed. “We’ve been waiting all year for it.”

The sting of being called old by a room of 9 year olds was drowned out by the way your heart fluttered at the idea of being loved by Joshua Hong. You weren’t even dating, unfortunately, but every so often he’d make a snide flirty comment or put a hand on your back and you’d find yourself wondering, what if?

You and Joshua had first met in high school when he was your group leader for your freshman orientation. He was a senior in need of volunteer hours and although he was kind and helpful, he was more interested in talking to the other group leaders than becoming buddy-buddy with awkward freshmen. Once the school year officially started, it quickly became obvious that he and his friends were wildly popular at school, at the center of every social circle. Although you had a few friends in common, you were still on the outskirts of their circle.

It wasn’t that you were particularly invisible, but the number of times you had spoken to Joshua Hong could be counted on one hand. The first time was during orientation, when he asked your name for the sign-in sheet. You’ll never forget the butterflies you felt when you saw him smile for the first time. He spoke to you again later that day, when you were sitting beside a boy named Chan and neither of you were really talking to each other. You noted the way Chan lit up in relief at Joshua’s presence. 

“Chan!” Joshua called to him before turning his attention to you. “I see you’ve met my neighbor, Chan.”

You waved awkwardly to the boy next to you. “Chan, this is…” Joshua trailed off with a sheepish smile, and a hand reaching to the back of his neck. You filled the silence with your name, feeling heat in your cheeks, embarrassed. Chan must have noticed because he introduced himself once more before realizing you already knew his name. There was a sense of relief in knowing he was just nervous too. “Go easy on him,” Joshua joked. “Chan doesn’t know how to talk to girls yet.” Before Chan could retort, Joshua had walked away, leaving you with the boy who’d become your best friend for the years to come.

The third time was at Joshua’s graduation party that Chan had begged you to accompany him to. You didn’t really know anyone there, although you recognized most of the boys from Joshua’s somewhat large friend group. You were relieved to find you and Chan’s other friends, Seungkwan and Hansol. They were sophomores from his health class, and were really easy to hang out with. The party was more fun after finding them. You didn’t run into the host of honor until you had taken a break from a riveting game of truth or dare to grab a soda from inside the house. Joshua was in the kitchen, seemingly taking a break as well, and didn’t notice you come in until you opened the fridge. When he finally turned to you with a smile, you swore you could have fallen to your knees in embarrassment. The words that came out of his mouth… devastating to say the least.

“Hey,” he began. “You’re Chan’s friend right? I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Joshua.”  You hoped he couldn’t see the heat rise to your cheeks or the way your own smile faltered. Thankful that no one else was around, you took his outstretched hand in a handshake and introduced yourself to him for the third time. You didn’t really see him again after that, and honestly, that was more favorable than having to introduce yourself to him for a fourth time.

However years later, in the hallways of another school there he was again. He was a few inches taller, his taste in fashion better, but his smile was the same as it was years before. The vice principal was in the middle of showing you your classroom roster when a knock on the door caught both of your attention.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Hong,” your vice principal greeted him. Standing at the door was a blast from the past, and with him came the butterflies you thought you left behind in the musty halls of high school. “This is the new third grade teacher,” she introduced, but before she could get your name out, Joshua had beaten her to it. He remembered your name. Her eyebrow raised in interest. “Do you know each other?”

“Yeah,” you replied. “We went to high school together.” You really hoped no one noticed how warm your face suddenly felt at the surprise of not only seeing him again, but also remembering your name.

“Is that so?” She asked and Joshua nodded with a smile. “In that case, Mr. Hong, you can finish up this tour right? I have a date to get to.”

Joshua gave a salute before taking her place beside you, close enough to smell the cologne he was using. A definite step up from high school Joshua’s usual Axe body spray. “Have a good time,” he called to her as she left. “Now, let me tell you all about which kids to watch out for.”

From the beginning, Joshua had become not only a mentor of sorts, but somehow your best friend as well, and everyone knew. Or at least, they had their own ideas about what he was to you. The third graders in front of you currently were no exception.

“So is Mr. Hong going to be your husband now?” The question snapped you out of your thoughts and you dismissed it with a laugh.

“No,” you laughed, turning to write a math problem on the board. “We’re just going to visit our families together for Christmas break.” Honestly, you really didn’t need to be defending yourself to anyone, but you knew your kids were so curious, and who were you to deny them that?

The class erupted into a chorus of disappointed “aw”s and “boo”s that made you chuckle. “Okay, okay,” you attempted to settle the class. “Enough of that, we have other problems to solve,” you continued as you pointed to the question on the board. 

By the end of the day, you were exhausted. After making sure all of your students were sent home safely, you walked back to your classroom and plopped into your desk chair with a sigh, thankful that it was the last day of the semester. While wrapping up a few emails on your computer, you heard a knock at the wall next to you. Two quick knocks and one just a bit later. You smiled to yourself, and responded with the same knock. You and Joshua had a secret knock, a sort of code to let each other know that the other’s presence was needed. You got up from your desk to open the door where Joshua was already waiting outside his own.

“Tired?” He asked, and you nodded back with a sigh. “It’s all that sugar. I keep telling the librarians to stop offering them candy canes before it’s time to go home.” 

You laughed at his frustration. “I love those kids,” you began. “But I am so glad I won’t have to see them for three weeks.”

“Me too,” he agreed. “Unless, you know, one of them is also visiting home and happens to be in the same 10 mile radius as us.” 

You groaned at the idea. “Shua, don’t even joke like that.” You stepped closer to him to playfully push him, at which he dramatically winced and reached a hand over his heart.

“It’s just so fun to annoy you,” he began. “You make this cute little face that looks like a pack of squirrels just moved into your brain.” He reached a hand to tap a finger in between where your brows had furrowed together.

You rolled your eyes at him. “It’s only funny until it’s true. Then you have a 9 year old shadow trying to follow you around everywhere.”

Joshua put his hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay. You got me there.” He let out a small sigh before continuing. “Should I come over tonight to help you pack?”

“Don’t you need to pack?” You asked him as he shook his head.

“I finished last night,” he assured you. “Figured you’d probably wait until today to start.”

“You know me so well, don’t you?” you smiled up at him as he nodded.

“I like to think so.” He smiled at you in return, although it felt much softer than his usual smiles.

Joshua arrived promptly at 6 p.m. with a knock at your door and takeout from your favorite Chinese restaurant around the corner. A quick look through the peephole showed a smiling Joshua dressed in his old and worn college hoodie, one that you’ve borrowed and worn enough times that it sparked a dating rumor at work, his duffel bag,  and his plaid pajama pants. You were wearing your own matching pair. The smell of the chicken was enough to entice you to open the door. Upon entering your apartment and kicking off his beat up white sneakers and dropping his duffel, he set down the bag of food on the counter and flopped down on the couch, laying down and grabbing the remote to press play on the show you had paused.

“Hello to you too,” you chuckled. “Make yourself at home, I guess.” You grabbed a box filled with noodles and a pair of chopsticks before walking over to the couch. As if on instinct, Joshua lifted his legs, allowing you to find a spot before lowering them back over your lap.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Joshua teased back. “Can you pass me the popcorn?”

“Here,” you rolled your eyes as you handed him the bowl of popcorn. “I thought you were coming over to help me pack?”

Joshua popped a handful of kernels into his mouth before replying which made you grimace. “I’m emotional support.”

“What would I even need emotional support for?” you questioned. “We’re only packing for a few dsays. I’ll just bring a few outfits and –”

You were interrupted by the sound of Joshua clearing his throat and swinging his legs off of your lap so he could sit upright and face you. “Remember last year, you said the same thing and still forgot to bring an outfit for that charity gala your parents throw every year?”

You nodded in defeat and let out a groan as you stood to go to your bedroom closet, to find a dress. You pulled two out, your trusty black dress that you’ve worn to a few of your parents’ galas and a newer red dress that you’d been saving for just the right occasion. After walking back outside, you held them both up for Joshua, who had now moved on from the popcorn and began eating at your noodles. “Which one should I bring?” you asked. “I know I wear this one every year, but I love it and then there’s also this –”

“Definitely the red one,” Joshua interrupted you, nearly choking on a mouthful of tofu to get his sentence out. “No more questions.” You couldn’t tell if his face was red from nearly choking on tofu or the idea of seeing you in the dress.

You shrugged and nodded as you slid the material off the hanger and unceremoniously dropped it into your suitcase, along with all the other outfits that were already packed. For the next half hour, it was relatively quiet in your apartment. The sound of Home Alone seemed to be the only break from the silence aside from the quiet chuckle Joshua would let out throughout the movie. These were your favorite moments with Joshua. School days were busy and loud, so much running around that when you did see him, it was in breathless “hey”s and rushed waves in the hallways. But in the warm glow of the fairy lights that adorned your living room wall and the stillness of it all, Joshua looked ethereal. If you had told yourself at 14 that the boy who barely even knew your name would not only be your friend, but even have a drawer of his own clothes at your apartment, you probably would laugh. 

“What’s got you laughing?” Joshua asked, turning his head towards you. You didn’t even realize that you had chuckled aloud.

“Just…thinking, I suppose,” you answered him.

“Is that so?” He asked, moving to sit up and leaning forward on his knees in exaggerated interest. “Better share with the class, then.” 

You thought about asking if he remembers the first time you met him, but decided to save it for another day. The quiet peace you had built up in this moment was much too delicate for an awkward question like that. So instead you told him you remembered a stupid Tik Tok that Chan had sent you earlier that day and Joshua’s face lit up in excitement.

He grabbed his phone and sat down next to you, knees touching yours. “Why don’t we give him a call?” He suggested. “He doesn’t even know I’m coming home this Christmas. I told him I was thinking of going overseas for the break.” He pulled up his number and hit the video call button and Chan answered  almost immediately. Joshua held the phone to make sure you’re both in frame as he greeted him. “Hey Chan!”

“My two favorite teachers,” Chan smiled. “What’s up?” The sound of a dog barking and multiple people engaged in conversation in the back gave the hint that Chan was already back home with his family. 

“I have something to tell you,” Joshua whispered conspiratorially. He leaned forward toward the camera, but before he could get a word out –

“You guys are getting married,” Chan blurted out excitedly and Joshua nearly dropped his phone. Why does everyone jump to that idea first, you thought to yourself.

Joshua was flabbergasted. “What? No that’s not–”

“You’re finally dating, aren’t you?” Chan guesses again, wagging an accusatory finger at Joshua. “I’ve always known–”

“No,” Joshua stopped him. It wasn’t often that you saw him turn so bright red, so you relished the moment. “We– I– I’m coming home for the holidays, is what I was trying to tell you.”

“Oh,” Chan dragged out awkwardly. “Why didn’t you just lead with that?”

“You literally didn’t even give me a chance,” Joshua was exasperated. He passed the phone to you while he stood up to grab a drink and put away the leftover food.

You greeted Chan again. “Channie, I miss you.”

Joshua called out to you from the kitchen. “Ouch, how come you’re never that excited to see me?”

“She sees you every single day,” Chan answered instead. “Let me have my best friend back.”

“Aw,” you began. “Don’t worry Chan, you’re still my best friend.”

“And what am I?” Joshua pouted as he returned from the kitchen.

“A leech at most,” you teased, causing Chan to chuckle. “You showed up just to watch my movies and eat all my snacks.” Joshua rolled his eyes but resumed his original position beside you anyway. He could never really be annoyed at you.

“So when are you guys going to head over here?” Chan asked. “Most of the guys are already here and are already planning to do something after the gala.”

“We’re headed out first thing tomorrow morning,” Joshua answered. “We’re only staying for the week.”

“Make sure you pack your warmest clothes,” Chan advised. “It’s supposed to be colder than usual this week.” You mimed a salute to Chan and Joshua nodded in response. “Okay, I’ll see you both tomorrow then!” Chan exclaimed before saying a quick goodbye, accidentally cutting himself off in the process.

Joshua set his phone down and you could still see the echoes of pink on his cheeks from Chan’s remark earlier. “I’m uh…” he began, getting up from his spot and still avoiding looking you in the eyes. “I’m gonna go get ready for bed. Is your extra blanket still in the hall closet?” 

“Yeah,” you responded. “Wake me up later?” 

He smiled at you from the bathroom door. “Of course,” he assured you. “Good night.”

“Good morning, sunshine,” you heard a voice cut through your dreams. Joshua was sitting beside you in bed, shaking you gently. The room was still dark and you wondered if you slept any more than four hours. “It’s 5 a.m.,” Joshua told you, as if he knew what you were thinking. “It’s early, but I wanted to beat the traffic.” 

You rubbed your eyes as you sat up. Joshua was already dressed. Well, dressed for a road trip. He was still wearing the same hoodie from last night, but traded his plaid pajamas for a pair of black sweatpants, and a white baseball cap sat on his hair that was growing out much too fast. “Good morning,” you yawned. You reached up to brush the bangs that were sticking out from under his hat away from his eyes. He chuckled softly, and you were glad that any awkwardness he might have felt last night was gone.

“I already put your suitcase in the car,” he announced as he watched you get up and head to the restroom to change and get ready for the day. “Everything is ready. Well, except you.” 

You popped your head out of the restroom to roll your eyes on him before returning. He walked out of the hallway and headed toward the kitchen. “I’ll make us some coffee,” he called loud enough for you to hear.

When you were finally out of the bathroom, dressed similarly to Joshua in a sweater and sweatpants, you were greeted to the smell of coffee and your favorite pastries from the bakery downstairs. Joshua was sitting at the counter, sipping from his favorite of your mugs – a misshapen Snoopy mug that you had found on one of your many thrift shop trips together. The sight was all too familiar to you and made it much too easy to pretend that this was what it looked like to be in love with and loved by the man across from you.

“You ready?” he asked, handing you your pastries, still in the bag and still warm, and the coffee that he had put into one of your travel mugs. You took one sip and savored the ratio of sugar and cream that Joshua had perfected when it came to you, and nodded at him in reply. After going through your mental checklist of last minute things to turn off and unplug, the two of you finally made it out the door.

“Do you still have that playlist we made last year on that work trip?” You asked as you entered Joshua’s car which was still cold after spending the night in the guest parking spot at your complex.

Joshua handed you his phone which he had plugged into the car. “Duh, it should be pinned,” he said as he fiddled with the many buttons on his car dashboard. You almost sighed as you felt the growing  warmth of his heated seats. I’d marry him right now for his car, you thought to yourself as you put the playlist on and handed Joshua the phone. He plotted the address of your childhood home and you two were set for the next few hours.

Not long after leaving the apartment, the sky began to slip out of its indigo hues and into a cozy blend of pinks and oranges that could fool anyone into thinking it wasn’t freezing outside. The sun was beginning to rise over the horizon, casting a warm glow onto Joshua’s face and as he reached up to grab his sunglasses, he caught your gaze.

“Take a picture,” he teased. “It’ll last longer.” He had his sunglasses on, but it didn’t do much to hide that he was looking at you through his peripheral. You pulled out your phone.

“I will, actually,” you started taking pictures, capturing Joshua’s laughter. He’s so pretty like this, you thought to yourself as you continued to take candid shots of him. “These are definitely instagram worthy,” you told him.

“Send them to me later,” he requested.

“Mmmm… you’ll have to earn them,” you smiled and tucked your phone away. You pulled your sweatshirt sleeves down over your palms as you began to yawn. 

“You can nap, you know?” Joshua assured, taking a quick glance at you. “We still have a ways to go.” 

You shook your head. “I don’t want you to drive alone,” you told him. “Plus, it’s too bright out anyway.”

Joshua let out a sigh before reaching up to pull off his cap which he then placed on your head instead, pulling the front down to cover your eyes from the brunt of the sunlight. “You should really find better excuses if you’re gonna keep arguing with me,” he joked. “Now sleep, I’ll wake you if I need anything.”

“Oh Joshy,” you started. “When will you learn that I never give in easily?” Despite your arguments, you were already drifting off.

“Trust me,” you heard him say softly. “I know it all too well.”

When you finally woke up, it took your eyes a bit to adjust to the brightness of the day. You reached up to pull down the hat over your eyes, only to find that in its place was the weight of Joshua’s head on top of yours and you had accidentally slapped him right in the face.

“Well good morning to you too,” Joshua yawned, leaning off of you. “We’re here by the way.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?” You leaned back toward your seat and away from the center console where you and Joshua’s arms were practically entwined.

“I felt bad that you only had like 3 hours of sleep, and I guess I dozed off waiting for you to wake up.” He shrugged as if it was the most casual and normal thing to do. It most definitely was not normal. Scanning your surroundings, you saw that you were parked in front of your home. “Are you ready?” Joshua asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you replied with a sigh.

The two of you walked out of the car with your luggage in hand, only for Joshua to do a double take in front of your parents’ driveway. “That’s so funny,” Joshua chuckled to himself. “That looks like my mom’s car.”

It was indeed Joshua’s mom’s car.

Apparently, both of your moms had become best friends in the last year, after Joshua’s mom volunteered to help out with the gala last Christmas. The next few hours were filled with countless childhood stories being shared about you and Joshua, leaving you both flustered and embarrassed. It turned out that before Joshua Hong was a high school heartthrob, he was a goofy little boy who dressed up as Shrek every single halloween without fail. 

Eventually, when both women had exhausted their memories, they shooed the two of you away to the living room so they could finalize details for tomorrow night’s gala. There wasn’t anything good on TV, so you and Joshua mostly sat together, quietly scrolling through your phones. When Joshua’s mom came in, neither of you even noticed until she remarked, “Don’t you two look cozy?” 

You were laying down with your legs swung over Joshua’s lap and a blanket on top of both of you. You were cozy, but your cheeks flushed at the teasing tone of her remark. You sat up and scooched an appropriate distance away from Joshua who laughed quietly. His cheeks weren’t red at all. “Oh, don’t mind me,” his mom dismissed, grabbing a vase from the coffee table and retreating out of the living room. “As you were, lovebirds.” From the kitchen, you could hear them in a fit of stifled laughter.

You looked at Joshua who was fighting his own laughter as he waited for you to resume your position close to him. He could tell you were hesitating and cut through your thoughts. “It’s warmer under the blanket,” he coaxed you back to him.

When the doorbell rang and Chan’s voice cut through to the living room, you and Joshua both looked at each other with a sigh of relief. Boredom was creeping in quickly, and Chan offered the promise of something to do to break from the monotony of being in your childhood home. The two of you stood up to meet him at the door and offered for him to come into the house.

“No, that’s okay,” he dismissed. “I was on my way to meet the guys when I saw your car and thought I’d come and see if the two of you wanted to come along.” You were already slipping on your shoes and coat before he said anything else.

“Whatever you’re doing, I’m in,” you agreed, tying your scarf around your neck. Joshua was doing the same already.

“I haven’t even –” Chan tried to continue, but the two of you were already pushing past him, waving goodbye to your moms.

“I call shotgun,” you called out as you walked toward Chan’s car. Joshua pouted but stood at the back passenger’s door anyway. 

It wasn’t until Chan was already in the car that you finally asked where he was taking you. “The guys wanted to meet up at the parking lot of the high school,” he explained.

“As a teacher,” Joshua began, leaning forward between you and Chan’s seats. “I don’t condone loitering on school grounds after hours. As a former high school delinquent myself though, I just hope Hansol brought snacks.”

“As fun as that sounds,” Chan chuckled. “I think Seungcheol and Seungkwan wanted to play soccer on the field.”

Sure enough, when you arrived at your old school, you could hear the boys yelling from the field before you even got out of the car. It was a familiar sight, and a wave of nostalgia came over you as you and Chan trailed behind Joshua on your way to the field. 

“Remember when you would beg me and Seungkwan to watch our soccer practices?” Chan nudged you.

You rolled your eyes back at him. “I was really interested in soccer, okay?” you defended. You were lying and Chan definitely knew it. You only used to come to his games and practices to watch Joshua play. In your years of high school, however, you never actually learned anything more about the sport.

“Right,” Chan said. “Name a soccer position. Any soccer position. Besides the goalie.”

“Uh,” you hesitated. “Okay fine, I had ulterior motives, but shut up.” Your face suddenly felt hot and you hoped that Joshua didn’t hear your conversation. Chan laughed as he watched you walk away from him.

When you arrived on the field, it seemed that most of the other dozen or so members of Joshua and Chan’s friend group were already engrossed in the middle of a game. You slipped into the bleachers beside Jeonghan, who was snacking on a banana. Jeonghan was Joshua’s partner in crime in high school. Because of your shared literature class, you had spoken to him a bit more than Joshua or his other friends in high school. He gave you a slight nod in acknowledgement before offering you one as well.

“Hey, long time no see,” he greeted you. “Did you and Josh just get here?”

“Yeah,” you replied, accepting the banana. “About an hour ago. No soccer for you today?”

“Not today,” he shook his head. “I hurt my ankle at work, so I guess I’m up here with you today.”

“I can’t promise I’ll be as entertaining as whatever’s happening down there,” You gestured down to the field where the boys had briefly paused to attempt a weird trending dance Joshua had learned from his students. 

“I’m sure you will be,” Jeonghan said with a smirk.

“That almost sounded threatening, Jeonghan.”

“Nah,” Jeonghan wrapped an arm around you. “I just have a few questions for you, and I’m sure your answers will be entertaining. For me, anyway.”

You immediately knew where this was headed. Jeonghan was the only other person, besides Chan, Hansol, and Seungkwan that knew of your crush on Joshua. The only difference was that he had somehow figured it out on his own, rather than you admitting it to him. He confronted you on a day like this, at one of the soccer practices. He plopped down beside you during their break and asked bluntly, “So when are you gonna tell ol’ twinkly eyes you like him?”

You had sworn Jeonghan to secrecy, which he of course agreed to. “Why would I tell him myself, when I can be in on the secret instead?” he had said. Even in all of the times you’ve seen him since that day, he’s kept his word. Now here you are yet again on the bleachers about to answer the same question. 

Knowing you didn’t have much of a choice, you let out a sigh. “Go ahead.”

“Great,” Jeonghan beamed. “First one, when are you gonna tell ol’ twinkly eyes you like him?” You threw your head back at his question. How does he remember that? You thought to yourself.

“Never, most likely,” you answered. Jeonghan shook his head in disappointment. “What?”

“That’s such a boring answer,” Jeonghan chastised. “Why don’t you tell him?”

“Because I like being his friend,” you shrugged. “What we have right now is nice.”

Jeonghan snorted a laugh. “Seriously?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked loudly, causing Joshua to turn up at you from the field in concern. You smiled and waved to him, appeasing him as he turned back to the game.

Jeonghan put his hands on your shoulders, squeezing as if massaging you. “Relax,” he shushed. “It’s just… you guys are basically in a relationship already.” 

“No we’re not,” you argued.

“Oh please,” Jeonghan scoffed. “Half the time Joshua picks up my facetime calls, he’s in your apartment or you’re in his. He has a drawer full of shirts that he’s set aside for you at his place, and I’m sure you have one at yours. Do you know how many times he’s left a night out early so he can come see you instead? And if he doesn’t leave, he’s ordering a meal to your place to make sure you have something to eat. It’s a relationship, you’re just both too scared to say it.” 

For once, you were speechless, and for the second time, Jeonghan had hit the nail right on the head. What were you and Joshua? Just friends don’t do the things you do… but also, if he wanted to be something more, why wouldn’t he just ask? And if he didn’t ask… well should you even be doing these things anymore?

“You know I’m teasing you, right?” Jeonghan continued, seeing the way your skin began to pale in panic. “Well mostly. I do think you guys are just a semantic definition away from dating, but you don’t have to say anything to him if you’re not ready.” You let out a sigh. “Thanks, Hannie.” 

“No problem,” he said. “Just think about it okay?” It looked like the boys were wrapping up their game, and Jeonghan chuckled as he watched Joshua immediately search for your eyes as he grabbed a bottle of water. 

Jeonghan leaned over in a whisper. “I’ve never seen him look at someone like that. I call him starry eyes for a reason.” Before you could reply, he stood to meet the other boys while Joshua came bounding up the bleachers to replace him.

“You okay?” he asked as you nodded your head in reply. “Are you sure? Jeonghan can be a bit much.”

“Yeah,” you chuckled. “You ready to go?”

“Well,” he began, eyes trailing to the boys who were all grabbing their stuff. “The guys wanna go get waffles at the diner, but if you’re down, we can walk there together. I know a bit of a shortcut.” You nodded and the two of you said your goodbyes to the group. 

Instead of walking back to the parking lot, Joshua led you down a small alleyway between the gymnasium and the soccer field. The gap was narrow and dark, especially with the sun beginning to set, and Joshua reached behind him to grab your hand. If you hadn’t just spoken with Jeonghan, you would have felt butterflies, but instead you just felt a bit guilty.

“Joshua,” you called out. “This feels sketchy.”

“Oh, it definitely is,” he replied, and you could hear the smile in his voice. “This is how I used to sneak off campus way back in the day.” It wasn’t long until you were finally in a clearing, and you paused to catch your breath. Small spaces were not fun.

“You know,” you began. “I had heard you skipped class but I never really believed it.”

“It’s such a shame we weren’t best friends back then,” Joshua laughed. “I could’ve been a bad influence on you so much earlier on.”

“I can’t believe the district trusts you to educate our future leaders,” you teased. 

“I’m reformed,” Joshua defended.

“Sure,” you rolled your eyes. As you continued walking, you found yourself speaking before you realized what you were asking. “Do you think we could’ve been friends in high school the way we are now?”

“No,” Joshua replied quickly. “I’m a firm believer that things happen when they’re supposed to happen. Plus, you were too good for me.” He looked over at you with a gentle smile. It wasn’t really the answer you expected to hear, but how can you feel hurt when he smiles at you like that?

“Oh,” you uttered. “Too good for you?” you felt yourself blush at his words.

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “You were kind, smart, and cute. I was smart too, but a bit of a slacker, as you can see.” Cute? He called you cute, you thought to yourself. 

“Well what about now?” The two of you had stopped at a small park. You weren’t too far from the restaurant, but it was obvious you were both holding onto the opportunity to be away from the chaotic energy that tends to follow a group of 13 boys.

“Well,” Joshua began, leading you to sit beside in the swing next to his. “You’re still smart and kind, and I’m less of a slacker.”

“What about cute?” you asked, expecting him to tease you. “Am I still that?”

Joshua shook his head before looking at you with a kind of softness you hadn’t seen before. It was as if you were something delicate he was holding in his hands and he was afraid that you would shatter with any pressure. “You’re beautiful,” he breathed out the words in a whisper. If the breeze had picked up any more, his words would have been carried away with it.

For a second, you couldn’t say anything. Joshua had complimented you many times before but it was always in silly comments or in teasing jokes. This, however, was none of the above. It felt like a confession, almost, like something he’d been wanting to say for much too long. It just felt different, but the good kind of different. The kind that feels like a door is opening, slowly.

The sun was setting behind him, coating his face in swathes of warmth and you couldn’t help but think the same about him. You had seen him in the sunrise and now with the sunset, and you thought to yourself, If only I could start and end every day with him like this. And so, you decided, it was time to reach for something new, even if it came with the risk of losing what you had now. Hoping for a Christmas miracle, you finally whispered back to him.

“Joshua,” you began. Even in the disappearing daylight, Joshua’s eyes twinkled away, anticipating what you had to say. “I think I… I think I–”

The sound of a car honking turned both of your attention to the source – Jeonghan’s car filled with too many people who were all waving at the two of you. “Hurry up, lovebirds! We’re starving,” Mingyu called from the passenger’s side as they sped away. 

The moment was gone, but as you looked at Joshua, he gazed at you with the same fondness as before. He stood up and offered a hand out to you, helping you up. “Let’s…” he began with a sigh. “Let’s try this again tomorrow, okay?” 

Your hand still in his, he gave it a squeeze before letting it go.

The next day, you woke up to the sight of blinding sun bouncing off the snow blanketed streets. It was refreshing to be able to wake up well past noon in your childhood bedroom to the sound of your parents listening to Christmas music downstairs. It all felt so familiar, just like you never left.

However, what did shock you, was finding Joshua at the kitchen counter, helping your parents make Christmas cookies. He was still in his pajamas and his hair was still messy, but he was laughing along as your dad butchered all the words to “Frosty the Snowman.” No one had noticed you coming down the stairs, and you appreciated the chance to observe the scene quietly. Joshua just seemed to fit in every aspect of your life so perfectly, and it almost made you regret the years you had spent pining from a distance. But Joshua was right, things happen when they’re meant to.

Finally deciding to make your presence known, you walked to the fridge to grab a glass of orange juice before sitting at the counter, across from where Joshua was adding the finishing touches to a gingerbread man.

“Morning,” you greeted him. “I see my parents have taken you hostage.”

Joshua laughed as your dad responded. “Not true, he chose to come here with his mother, so the labor was implied.” You looked around, Joshua’s mom was nowhere in sight.

“Where is Mrs. Hong anyway?” you asked.

“She went to the gala venue to start with the decorations,” Joshua answered. “Told me to be productive here.”

“Why didn’t anyone wake me?” you questioned. “I could have helped.”

Your parents and Joshua all shared a laugh. “Oh honey,” Joshua cooed. “We tried.” You blushed at the nickname. He dusted his hands off against the apron he was wearing before pulling his phone out to show you the evidence. He had taken a video of him trying to wake you up.

The video showed you sprawled across the bed like a starfish, and as Joshua tried to shake you to wake you up, you swatted his hand away. Even though he wasn’t in the frame, you could hear the smile in his voice. He would never let you forget that he had this video. You hid your face in embarrassment.

“Anyway,” your mom said. “We’re just wrapping up, so you two can go ahead and get ready.”

“I didn’t bring any of my stuff with me so I’ll head home,” Joshua explained as he untied his apron. “I’ll swing by around 6 to come get you?” he asked.

“That’s perfect,” you smiled at him as he nodded and helped your mom place the last of the cookies into a box, ready to be taken to the venue. “What about you guys?” you asked your parents.

“We’re going to the venue now,” your mom explained. “We’ll be getting ready there after setting everything up.” You watched from the counter as your dad and Joshua picked up all of the boxes of desserts and carefully walked to the door to load them in the car. You called out a goodbye to them as you went back up to your room to get ready.

When the doorbell finally rang, it was 5:50 p.m. and you were still not ready. Your makeup was halfway done and your hair was still in a mess of rollers on top of your head. “You’re early,” you exclaimed as you opened the door to an elegantly dressed, hair perfectly coiffed, cologne scented Joshua. “Wow, you look…”

He smirked at you as he held out a flower that he was holding. A single white blossom. “Handsome? Hot? Like heaven on legs? An angel?” he teased.

“Beautiful,” you finished. Joshua looked surprised and with his hair slicked back, you could see the tips of his ears turn a shade of red.

“That’s my line,” he recovered. 

“Not yet, I’m not,” you laughed, shaking your head as you let him into the house. He stepped in, but stopped in front of you.

“You always are,” he said again in that same tone from last night. The kind that made you go weak in the knees and made you wish time would pause for just a little bit, long enough for you to memorize the freckles on his face and find constellations in his eyes. Then he smiled, and you remembered how you looked, not even close to ready, but he still smiled at you like that, and you let yourself think, this what it looks like when Joshua Hong loves you.

You almost left the house just like that. It wouldn’t matter how you actually dressed, because you felt beautiful. But, who would you be if you weren’t constantly trying to beat Joshua Hong at his own games? So you snapped out of your haze and finished getting ready, and the look he gave you as you finally came back down the stairs indeed felt like a victory.

“Cat got your tongue, Hong?” you teased. Now in your heels, you were nearly eye level with him. His cheeks had turned pink and instead of replying, he shook his head and laughed. 

“I suddenly feel underdressed,” he joked, offering you the flower he had earlier. Before you could reach out to grab it, however, he reached out and tucked it behind your ear. “I know it’ll fall out, but I couldn’t find a corsage or anything.”

“A corsage?” you questioned. “Are you taking me to the prom, Joshua?”

“Just humor me,” he offered his elbow out to you. “It’s what I should’ve done in high school.”

The gala was in full swing when the two of you finally arrived. A band was playing jazzy renditions of Christmas carols, couples were on the dance floor, and everyone was dressed to the nines in shades of red, green, and gold. Joshua’s friends were split into two tables near the back, but before the two of you headed towards them, Joshua pulled you away to the buffet table.

“Hungry?” you asked Joshua with a teasing smile.

“Not really,” he admitted but grabbed a cookie anyway. “I just wanted you to myself for a little bit longer.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” you questioned. 

“I just know that as soon as we walk over there,” Joshua pointed to the table where the boys were all gathered around Chan, Seungcheol, and Mingyu having a water bottle flipping contest. “Either Jeonghan or Chan is gonna steal you away and I won’t be able to see you until the night is over.” He took a bite of his cookie.

“And what a loss that would be,” you joked. You grabbed a cup of punch and a cookie as well. “Did you make this one? It looks very Joshy.”

“Yes I did,” he nodded. “And yes, it would be a loss. Save me a dance?” He held his hand up, raising his pinky to yours for a pinky promise.

“Always,” you affirmed, crossing your pinky with his.

Sure enough, as soon as you sat down at your seat, Jeonghan and Chan both were pulling you right back up. Joshua shot you a knowing look and mouthed “Told you,” as you were dragged toward the dance floor.

The band began to play an upbeat Christmas song, loud and brassy. Jeonghan twirled you around as he spoke, loudly for you to hear over the music. “Took you long enough,” he joked.

“What do you mean?” you asked with a laugh.

“We were placing bets on how long Joshua would try to keep you away from us,” Chan answered, doing some dance that did not fit the vibe of the song. It was quite endearing how well the boys knew each other.

“Did you finally get to talk to him?” Jeonghan asked. The middle of the dance floor was a very odd place to be having this conversation, but yet so fitting for the two boys with you.

“Well we were kind of getting to it last night,” you confessed. “Until we were rudely interrupted by a gaggle of impatient and hungry men.”

“Oh we thought you guys were already making out,” Chan announced. By now he was just going through decades of trendy dance moves. He was on the mashed potato now.

“What? No,” you were thankful that it was a bit dark in the ballroom, they couldn’t see the blush on your face. “We were just talking.”

“Lame,” Jeonghan booed, dragging the word out and giving you a thumbs down.

“I thought you wanted me to talk to him,” you questioned.

“Yeah, talk about something juicy,” he retorted. “If you didn’t confess, and there was no kissing, you were just being lame and I don’t care.”

“Well how am I supposed to talk to him if I’m dancing with you fools?” You rolled your eyes. The tempo began to slow as the band began the Christmas Waltz.

“Oh, perfect,” Chan mused as he and Jeonghan shared a mischievous look. Before you could stop them, they had already run back to the table and grabbed a confused looking Joshua who was halfway to taking a bite of his cookie. Once they returned, they shoved him towards you, and he nearly fell to the floor on top of you, but caught his momentum by resting his hands on your shoulders.

You took a step back in recoil, blinking in surprise. Joshua repositioned himself so one hand was at your waist, drawing you in, and his other hand held yours against his chest. “Hey,” he smiled.

“Hey,” you breathed out. He was close enough to you that you could smell the cinnamon in his cologne. 

“I guess I was wrong about those two,” Joshua laughed. “Remind me to thank them later.”

“Will do,” you laughed. “But, maybe don’t thank them too much. We have an audience.” You nodded towards the table where at least half of the boys had their phones out, taking videos of the two of you and giving a thumbs up. You leaned your forehead against Joshua’s shoulder in attempt to hide from the attention.

“Ignore them,” he chuckled, giving your hand a squeeze. “This is one of my favorite Christmas songs,” he announced and began singing along quietly. You tried not to wince at the way his breath tickled against your ear in a private serenade.

It’s that time of year,

When the world falls in love.

You pulled back to look at him, his eyes reflecting the light from the disco ball and his face lit up in the dim glow of the strings of Christmas lights. You found yourself leaning in before you could find a reason not to. When your lips finally met his, it felt like coming home. Like the ending of a melody you’ve been chasing your whole life, the answer to a question you’ve been asking since you met him. He was smiling when you pulled away. 

“I love you,” he said so easily as if he'd been saying it to you his whole life. 

Your mouth opened, as if to say something, but no words came out. Joshua smiled softly down at you. “There is absolutely no way you can argue your way out of this one,” he teased. 

“I wasn’t going to argue,” you defended yourself. “I was just… you beat me to it.” 

“Well,” he leaned down to press a kiss against your temple. “You’ll have plenty of chances to beat me to it from now on.” 

From the side of your vision, you could see Jeonghan, Chan and the others silently cheering the two of you on. Joshua rolled his eyes at them before leaning back in to kiss you. “Might as well give them something to cheer for,” he breathed against your lips.

This, you thought, this whole time, I have known exactly what it feels like to love Joshua Hong. Loving him feels like coming home.

It wasn’t until the day after, when the boys were back at the field playing soccer that you finally got to ask Joshua the one question you’d been dying to ask him since your first day of work with him. He decided to sit out from the game and watch from the bleachers with you instead.

Your arm was looped through his and your head was resting on his shoulder. Your entwined hands were resting on his knee and it was comfortable.

“Oh hey,” you cut through the silence. “Do you remember the first time we met?” 

“Duh,” Joshua replied. “We met at my graduation party, where Chan brought you as his date. Look where that got him though.” He laughed and you could feel it. When you sat up and pulled your arm out of his, he looked at you in concern.

“That’s not where we met,” you bit your lip as you broke the news to him.

“What do you mean?” Joshua argued. “I remember it clear as day. Chan told me he was bringing a girl from school, and I made fun of him for it. Then you walked into the kitchen looking for a soda, and that’s when we met.”

“No…” you began. “We met at my freshman orientation.” Joshua looked confused as you continued. “You were my orientation leader, and you introduced me to Chan.”

Joshua’s face paled in embarrassment and he buried his head in your shoulder with a groan. You patted his back, and couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped your lips.

“I don’t even remember meeting my own girlfriend,” he groaned in disappointment. 

“It’s fine, Shua,” you assured him. “You made up for it anyway.”

“How?” he questioned, finally looking up at you with a pout.

“When you remembered my name that day you walked into my classroom.”

[ladyveronikawrites]

In Your Eyes I See City Lights

Nicholas Ruffilo & Gender Neutral Reader

A little treat for @deathblacksmoke Blurb inspired from this moodboard Just a lot of fluff, please enjoy💛 word count: 667

It’s been one hell of a work week for you, and all you want to do is collapse on the sofa and snuggle up with your boyfriend. You toss your bag on the floor, and just as you are about to slip out of your shoes, Nick hands you your favorite pair of sneakers and his jacket—the same denim jacket he wore on your first date all those years ago. 

“Where are w-” A slender tattooed finger pressed against your lips silences you, but you take his outstretched hand instead. 

“Let me show you.” 

As the cool autumnal air breezes past you, you wrap his jacket tighter around yourself. Hands entwined Nick leads you down the sidewalk into the city. The car lights glow against the remaining puddles on the asphalt. It’s been rainy and cloudy for days now and at times, now more than ever you miss the sun. The dark cold winter days on the east coast are looming. Fresh air in your lungs and your love by your side was just what you needed. Snuggling up against him, he finally breaks the comforting silence. “Almost there, my love.”

Looking over at him, his stunning blue-grey eyes light up and you follow his gaze to the new cafe. There’s an old traffic light lit up green when you walk into the cafe, damp sneakers squeaking along the concrete floor. You take it all the sights, the industrial metal chairs at the counter, road signs decorating the crisp white walls, and the fairy lights hanging from the open glass-paned garage door. “This used to be a motorcycle shop,” Nick says lowly into your ear as your attention returns to him. 

“What did you order us?” you ask as Nick uncurls himself from your embrace. “For you a Vietnamese cold brew and a Thai bubble tea for me.” He grins handing you your drink and clinks your plastic cups together. 

“Dork.”

“I know,” he says proudly. “And you love it.” He leans down to press a tender kiss to your lips. 

“I do.” You smile back at him.

“C’mon.” He links elbows with you and leads you to your next destination. 

Your drinks have long been finished by the time you stroll into the bar. You haven’t been here since the band had their first gig all those years ago. The band has skyrocketed in popularity recently and it makes you dizzy just thinking about it. But Nicky has always stayed the same; the quiet gentleman that opens all your door to the rowdy nerd when his character dies in a video game. He’s always creating and looking at the world around him for inspiration. When he’s home from tour or the tattoo shop he spends his time with you and his cats. 

“Thank you,” you say reaching for his hands across the table. In the dim light of night, his eyes reflect the moon. He looks at your hands before lacing his fingers between yours. 

“Of course, doll. I know you’ve been working a lot these past few weeks and I am so proud of you, but you also need to take care of yourself.” He smiles softly at you as you take in his words, sometimes you feel like you don’t deserve his kindness and generosity especially when you’ve been so worn down.

A gentle squeeze of your hands pulls you from your spiraling thoughts. 

“You know that I love you, right?” His cheeks flush a little and he suddenly gets shy when you look up at him. Like he still needs to pinch himself to remind him that you are real and that he is still the luckiest guy on earth to get to spend every day with you.

“Yeah, I know.” You squeeze him back wishing you could punch him in the arm for getting sappy. But you know it's sincere. And you need the reminder too, that despite how crazy life can get that he still loves you. 

“I love you too.”

tysm for reading 💜 dividers @saradika-graphics

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[john-get-the-salt]

Coincidences w/ Ted Lasso

Imagine: A series of seemingly random coincidences lead you to meet a dashingly handsome football coach.

Contains: ted pining hardcore, small age-gap, fem!reader who is a singer, mentions of roy x keeley

Warnings: none

The first coincidence was Rebecca deciding she needed to work on her delegation skills, leading her to give Keeley the job of finding a performer of some sort for the annual AFC Richmond charity gala. The young woman preened at the task, and coincidentally knew exactly who she had to have.

You hadn't seen Keeley in nearly a year by that point. As a semi-popular American singer heading your very own world tour, you had little free time. But the two of you had kept in contact, calling and texting all the time. You met her a few years back on a shoot for a magazine spread on you and your music, by pure coincidence. She was the sweetest thing and you two became fast friends, despite you being a few years older than her. You had a lot in common and were very similar people.

Which was why, when she reached out with her proposal, you didn't hesitate to agree. In all honestly, you admitted to her, you'd been looking for a reason to relocate to England for a while now. Queue coincidence. It was your favorite place you'd ever been- and you'd been around a lot. You were also tired of life on the road. You were getting older, entering your late 30's, and you'd gained a strong desire to settle in one place and work more on writing/producing.

Keely was over the moon with the news, and jumped right into planning. Though the gala was still months away she did not hesitate to help you find a nice flat in the Richmond suburbs, as well as help with all of the other troublesome tasks that came with moving across the pond.

And just like that, your event of coincidences finally lined up.

-

It didn't come as a surprise that when you stepped off your plane and into the London airport, Keely was standing there with a big WELCOME sign.

Upon spotting her you immediately rushed over to give her a big hug. "It's so good to see you!"

"You as well,” she gushed. "Listen, I know you just got in and are probably exhausted, but the team is absolutely gasping to meet you."

"As long as I'm fed first, I'm in."

"Deal."

-

A few hours later Keely was parking the car at the AFC Richmond field house/office building. She had indeed fed you and let you change out of your comfy travel clothes. You were now in jeans and a nice top, as the two of you planned to go out after meeting everyone.

"I don't know why I'm nervous," you said with a little chuckle as you followed your friend in. "I think I just want all your friends to like me."

"Oh babes, do not even worry about that. They're going to love you. And you and Rebecca will get on like a house fire, I'm sure of it."

Ultimately you trusted Keeley, so you shoved down your nerves as you followed her down the hall and towards your destination. She knocked on a door labeled locker room, and only entered after someone called out the all clear.

"Hi everyone," she chirped. "This is one of my dear old friends.” She's just moved to Richmond and is going to be performing at the charity gala for us!"

You waved at everyone, smiling kindly. "Hi y'all, it's nice to finally meet the people Keeley never shuts up about."

"Oi!"

A rumble of chuckles echoed through the room of people.

Kee, once she finished glaring at you, introduced the team and then the coaches, Lasso, Beard, and Kent. Roy, who you'd actually met once before, gave you a friendly nod while Beard saluted you. Then Lasso....Lasso just stared.

He couldn't help it.

It wasn't as if Ted had never seen a pretty woman before. Heck, Rebecca was stunning and he worked with her nearly everyday. But you.....you were something else entirely. You were make-his-knees-go weak, heart-stopping, drop-dead gorgeous. He had to remind himself, with a gulp, who you were. You were a semi-famous star, who would never in a million years go for little ole him. Not to mention he was nearly 7 years your senior.

That didn't stop him from appreciating the jeans you were wearing, which did nothing to hide the curves and swell of your hips and behind, and the top that showed-ehem-a generous amount of cleavage. He gulped again. He was so fucked.

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am." He finally managed to spit out, tipping his ball cap. "Welcome to Richmond. Is that a bit of a midwestern drawl I hear?”

You smiled sweetly, ignoring Keely's gaze as it burned into the side of your head. "It is, Ohio born and bred. And thank you, Coach."

"Oh Ted's just fine."

"Alright, Ted."

Holy mother of god his name sounded angelic coming from your lips, Ted thought.

Holy mother of god Keeley hadn't mentioned how hot the head coach was, you thought.

"We were just planning on going out to get some drinks if you lot want to join? Surely you must be done with practice by now?" Keeley looked to the coaches.

"I don't know, we still had a couple more formations to work on," Roy said with a frown, causing the team to groan.

"Oh come on, the sun's proper setting and the days nearly over. It'll be fun," Keely begged, giving Roy her very best puppy dog eyes.

"Come ooon," you joined in, batting your eyelashes at Coach Lasso. "I need someone to teach me darts.....and the tab'll be on me."

The boys perked up, knowing that was an offer their coaches couldn't turn down.

"Well that's mighty kind of you, though i'd sooner shave off my own mustache before I let you pay for all the drinks. But I do suppose I could pass along my darts expertise."

The team cheered, high fiving and hooping. You and Keeley joined in, exchanging excited grins.

"We'll meet you lovely ladies there, sound good?"

"Sounds like a plan, stan."

Roy snorted. "God, you sound just like him."

You flushed as Lasso shot you a beaming smile, before grabbing Keely's arm. "Come on, let's go."

She obliged, blowing Roy a kiss before steering you out of the lockerroom and back outside.

"Soooooo" she trailed off as you two climbed back into the car and headed for the bar.

"Go on, out with it."

"When were you going to tell me you had a thing for football coaches?'

"I didn't realize I had a thing for football coaches until I saw that fine man. Please tell me he's single? Otherwise I'm going to have to seriously re-evaluate my morals and stance on home wrecking."

"As single as single can be."

"Perfect."

-

You laid on the charm later that night as you hung out with the team and their coaches. True to his word, Ted taught you darts and refused to let you pay for a single drink of his. He may not have relented, but you did insist everyone else put their drinks on your tab.

When he asked why, you just shrugged and told him you had more money than you knew what to do with, so you liked to spend it on other people. You didn't say it to brag or to make him feel bad, it was just the truth. It was matter of fact.

And fuck did Ted think that was hot.

The two of you chatted about anything and everything, from your time growing up to stumbling through adulthood. You had a great time, and everyone was incredibly kind and welcoming.

Unfortunately after that night the team got busy and you threw yourself into preparing for the gala. Kee had been right, of course. You and Rebecca got along incredibly well, and when she noticed you had an eye for details she invited you to be included in the planning on the finer details of the nights entertainment. The lights, the band, the set-up, all meticulously planned. You saw the coaches and members of the team in passing, never having more than a few minutes to chat. But that didn't deter Ted, who took every opportunity to talk to you and ask about the move and the writing and if you needed help with anything.

The quick chats were nice, but all of the ongoing work meant you didn't have the opportunity to really hang out with the team or coaches again until the night of the gala itself.

-

Keeley and Rebecca had taken you dress shopping beforehand and helped you pick out an exquisite gown.

It was the perfect shade of dark blue, covered in sequins that caught the light and shone like stars in the midnight sky. The strap-less bodice and floor-length skirts left you feeling elegant and beautiful, and with matching jeweled gloves you felt like a symphony.

With your hair up, makeup on, and carefully tied into your dress; you were ready.

You arrived to the venue after most of the crowds, through a back entrance. The idea was that no one would lay eyes on you until your performance, then after which you would be free to roam and enjoy the rest of the evening. Rebecca and Keeley were in a group chat on your phone, swapping updates, and you shot them a quick message to let them know you'd. A few moments later the two found you backstage, each in their own stunning gown.

"Holy fuck," Keeley screeched the moment she set her eyes on you. "I knew you were going to look good but you look unreal, babe. Ted is going to want to rip that dress right off of you when he sees it."

“Keeley!"

Rebecca just laughed, used to Keeley's antics. "She's right though, you do look magnificent."

"Oh listen to you two, have you looked in any mirrors tonight? You both look hot."

"Enough about us. How are you feeling about the performance?"

"Honestly I thought I was going to feel nervous, but I'm just excited and antsy to get it done with so I can come hang out with you guys."

"Oh I'm sure. Ted's already cornered me once, asking where you were and when you would be coming," Keeley said, giggling like a school girl. "I told him you'd save him a dance."

"Keeley, what am I going to do with you?"

"After tonight I have a feeling you're going to thank me."

You were spared from any more of your friends teasing when one of the backstage managers came up to the three of you, letting you know you were to be on stage in 10.

"Well, that's my cue." Rebecca straightened up her dress. "I'm on to give a little speech and introduce you ." She gave you and Keeley kisses on the cheeks before leaving, promising she'd find you both afterwards.

"I'm gonna’ find my seat now too, I wanna be able to watch Ted the entire time you're on stage."

Despite everything racing through your head, you laughed. "Oh I love you Kee."

"I love you too babe. Good luck, I know you're gonna kill it aye?" She gave you a final thumbs up before hurrying off, leaving you alone.

You were quickly ushered to the stage wing, where you could watch as Rebecca thanked everyone for the attendance and donations. Perhaps at some point earlier in your career you would have felt nervous before a gig like this. But being on a stage and singing felt like home to you now, it was like second nature. You knew you were good and you were proud of that.

"Now I have the absolute joy of welcoming our guest of honor tonight. Not only did she agree to come and perform for us, but she also surprised us with a generous donation to jump start one of our new community programs. I'll let her tell you a bit about it herself, so please join me in welcoming her to the stage!"

Applause erupted as you were given the green light and you stepped out onto the stage. You didn't flinch when the lights hit you, nor when the eyes of everyone in the room landed on you. You smiled brightly, accepting the microphone from Rebecca. As you stared out into the crowd you quickly found Keely and the team, all sat at a table together. They waved and cheered and gave you thumbs ups.

"Thank you very much for that introduction Rebecca. I promise I won't take up too much of your time, I just wanted to give my sincere appreciation to Rebecca and Keeley, Ted and his team, and everyone else here for making me feel so welcome. Richmond has become my home, and I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many new friends. I am also incredibly excited to be helping launch a new school program, in partnership with AFC Richmond, to provide under-funded schools with equipment and support to help kids participate in sports and other extra curricular activities, including performing arts."

The crowd erupted once again, loud whistles coming from one table in particular. You flushed under the extra attention, pausing before you spoke again. "I'm sure Rebecca and the others will be coming forward with lots of details about all of that soon, but in the meantime I think I should get to what I know best."

Rebecca winked at you, taking a final bow before exiting the side of the stage. You set the mic in the stand already positioned at the front of the stage as the lights changed and the curtains raised on the band who'd been set up and waiting behind it. As the beginning notes of a song started, you closed your eyes and let yourself get lost in the music.

You sang your heart out, to some of your post popular hits and a few of the ones that meant the most to you. You shamelessly stared and smiled at your friends as you sang, giving Ted a wink as he watched, his mouth agape. You floated across that stage in your gown like you were amongst the stars and god with Ted looking at you like that, you could have sworn you were.

You finished the final note of your final song and stared, breathlessly, out at the crowd as the applause began suddenly and all of once. Your friends were on their feet, screaming so loud their throats would surely hurt the next morning. And there was Ted, eyes crinkled from smiling so hard, looking at you as if you were the only people in the entire room.

The applause continued, even as you took a bow and exited the stage. Your chest was still heaving, lungs trying to play catch up. You gratefully accepted a cup of water from some assistant, taking gulps of the cool liquid to soothe your throat.

"Sir I greatly respect you for doing your job, but I'm afraid I must insist that I speak with her."

You set down your water, turning to find the source of commotion. When you found it, you nearly choked on your own spit. Ted was standing nose to nose with a security guard, trying to get into the backstage area that was roped off.

"Now I don't like to raise my voice, but I'm about to get madder than a hornet's nest if you don't let me-"

"Ted!" You called out.

He looked up, meeting your eyes, and his posture immediately relaxed.

"It’s okay, he can come back."

The security guard nodded, unclipping the rope.

Ted slid past him, tipping his head. "Thank you kind sir, I hope you can forgive any threat I may had said in the heat of the moment. I-"

"Ted," you called again in warning, hoping he would just stop before the guard actually kicked him out.

"And I'm walking away." He finally got the hint, turning away from the guard with pink cheeks and walking towards you. You met him halfway, one hand holding onto your skirts so you didn't trip.

"I'm sorry about that sweetheart, I just had to see you and I wasn't about to let one guard-"

You grabbed ahold of the front of Ted's suit and pulled him in, capturing his lips with yours. He froze in surprise for a moment before relaxing into you. His mustache tickled in the best way, stubble gently scratching your skin. One hand came up to cradle your cheek, the other wrapping around your waist to pull you against him. Your hands moved up through his hair, scratching his scalp gently with your nails.

You pulled away at the last possible second, lungs screaming for air, though Ted's arm around you didn't let you get far. You stared at one another, chests heaving in sync, noses just a hair apart.

"Are you sure?" He said softly. "I'm not one of those young, athletic boys who would be lucky to have you."

You could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the desire fighting with the hesitation.

You reached up, fingertips gently dancing over his cheek as you stared unabashedly into his eyes. "Ted, you are the sweetest and most genuine man I have ever met. You are so fucking handsome, and every time you look at me with those kind eyes it feels like fireworks are going off inside my chest. And I mean, have you seen your ass in those uniform khakis?"

That succeeded in making him laugh, and the worry in his eyes eased.

"I don't care what anyone else thinks, and I have never been more sure. I want you. If you'll have me."

Then he was kissing you again, this time taking the lead, wrapping both arms around your waist so he could lift you off your feet and spin your around. You smiled into his lips, unable to keep from laughing as he pulled back just far enough to look into your eyes again.

"I'll have you for the rest of my life if you let me, darlin’. I've been waiting so damn long for you."

"And I you."

He couldn't help it, looking down at you he leaned in to peck you quickly-then again-then again, leaving you breathless every time.

"Come on sweetheart, I think we've got some team bets to settle."

You laughed again, cheeks sore from smiling as Ted settled an arm around your waist and led you back out towards the gala. "No way, tell me the team didn't bet on whether we would get together."

"Oh no....they bet on when we would get together."

"Your team is full of cheeky little shits."

"Yeah, well they're about to become our cheeky little shits."

He paused at the edge of the room, looking out to where the team was impatiently waiting for his return and then back to you.

"Ready?"

You knew what Ted was doing, giving you one last opportunity to change your mind or go running for the hills. But you did neither. A series of coincidences may have brought you two together, but you knew know it was meant to happen this way. So you grabbed one of Ted’s hands, kissing his knuckles before interlocking your fingers with his.

"Ready."

[coffeesleep-ooc]

Binghe nicknames

Today im reflecting in LBH’s nicknames, like, SQQ’s nicknames for him, fandom nicknames for him and SQH’s nicknames for him

why you ask? Because my brain is full of sv brainworms, that’s all

Now, this may have some inconsistencies bc it’s what I believe and im by no means chinese…let’s start with the most common ones to name a small Binghe

We have things like bingbing, binghe, white lotus, little sheep and bunhe. The first two look fairly straightforward no? From what ive seen, in chinese using a character of a person’s name repeatedly like this denotes a cutesy way of calling them, and calling someone by their name alone (as long as it has enough characters for that) is a sign of being close. LBH obviously loves SQQ calling him Binghe, nobody else gets that privilege! Even NYY calls him A-Luo and not Binghe, even though that is another way to denote closeness, I don’t believe its the same for him!

let’s go with bunhe, this is (as far as i know, do correct me if im wrong) a fandom’s name for the lil guy, im guessing it came from the english part of the fandom since its a play on his name and in chinese the term for bun would be bao/baozi(?) depending on the type of bun so it wouldn’t be as cute to call him baohe(?) sounds like another person entirely lol

but! Bun makes you think of a round white and soft ball, safe and sweet, unless you are of course, not chinese like me and at first you thought of a golden brownish ball of hot bread, which would work anyways bc freshly made bread it’s delicious and soft. Anyways, i kinda prefer the chinese imagery of bun for this dumb reason ill present to you: Bunhe is a soft round baby, you can nom his cheeks and squeeze him and call him only to see him following cutely! Its the best! But also, when you break the surface you reveal there’s a spicy filling that will leave your mouth stinging and your stomach warm and content, the problem is though, that your white little bao is now in pieces and you can’t reconstruct it, the white surface has been stained with the spicy red from hell and the bitterness of betrayal…but the sweet exterior is still there and it has shifted to become a delicious dish filled with the flavor of home.

am i getting too lost?

lets go back to nicknames! SY gives him the nicknames of little white lotus and little sheep. The second one is pretty self-explanatory, LBH follows him around everywhere like sheep tend to do (also, this is why little duckling also works) but! The consensus in the fandom is that he has curly hair right? Well, imagine a little boy with fluffy hair following you around and trying to help you with everything? It’s impossible not to want to pat his head and squeeze him, so little sheep it is.

now, i’ve seen that sv fandom uses white lotus a lot! SY himself uses it if I remember correctly, but i feel like sometimes we forget where it truly comes from and what SQQ is saying when he calls LBH that, its true that LBH is like a flower, whilting or flourishing on command like SQQ is his sun, his earth and his water. But from other novels i’ve read, I’ve realized that calling someone a white lotus is not necessarily a compliment! In chinese slang a white lotus is someone that looks pure and kind, respectful and pretty, just like the lotus flower peacefully and beautifully resting on a pond, but it also tells us that such a person has a hidden agenda, a hidden side to their personality just like the lotus has roots in the dirt, underwater where we can’t see, its growing and taking advantage of the nutrients of the deepest parts of the earth, so it’s someone “muddy” and “dirty” that presents themselves kind, pure and innocent!

Which means- that SQQ is calling LBH this to remind himself that even though this cute lil boy is obedient and sweet now, he will (in SQQ’s mind at least) torture him and show his true colors later on the road, after he has been utterly betrayed. I quite like this nickname because of how innocent it looks at first, and how sweetly SQQ is usually portrayed while calling LBH this, but he actually knows deep down that he is possibly playing with fire, and even so, he chooses to care and to ahow love to LBH -sobs-

LBH post canon ends up with a lot of trauma, attachment issues and insecurities, and SQQ calling him white lotus shows that he knew about LBH’s bad sides since the beginning. BUT. He. Doesn’t. Communicate. That!!!!! This dumbass!!!! (Affectionate)

Now, there’s also the nicknames SQQ-SQH use to differentiate the Binghes, and i find it incredibly funny too. There’s Bingge (Bing from his name and Ge from older brother), not only called older brother bc he is the original, but also because he is ruthless and cool beyond expectations (we see in the extras, that he is very intelligent and cunning, but equally as shizun starved smhw) he is strong and much more serious and bitter than his counterpart, not to mention the sheer number of women he has (which, as stallion power fantasy, would make him “more manly” but that’s another topic), so, older brother it is!

Sv LBH is usually called Binghe or even ‘my son’ by SQH, which i find hilarious bc SQQ hates it, he doesn’t want to acknowledge SQH as LBH’s father even if he is the creator. This is obviously a running joke but it makea me think of SQQ then accusing SQH of also marrying his own son (MBJ) which would be extremely funny and SQH would be mortified.

anyways, LBH is also calles Bingmei (Bing for his name and mei for little sister) and this is where it gets interesting, because they clearly could have chosen didi (little brother) but didn’t! And this reinforces the comedic role of LBH, he isn’t just a gay protagonist, he is a gay protagonist that - following the advise of his (unknown) creator/shishu - acts like a total maiden throwing a massive tantrum to get SQQ’s attention, he cries like a little girl, he tugs on SQQ’s sleeve with big watery eyes and becomes his housewife. Not only that, but his insecurities are exaggerated by his acting and it gives the impression of him having a massive maiden heart that will die dramatically if her husband doesn’t pay attention to her 25/7 (no, the 5 is not a typo), and it’s true that he has a maiden heart, but he can live without the 25/7 attention, he is just that dramatic. And obviously lets not forget about the picture of a previously ruthless stallion protagonist in the transmigrators’ minds actually turning into this kind of person that acts frail and cute for his husband, it’s just too much for them, and so, he gets called little sister, like a spoiled younger sister, the apple of her parent’s eye. Honestly when i first read that nickname I couldn’t stop laughing for a long while.

finally im going to babble about LBH’s nicknames for himself, we have, this disciple and this husband which are very contradictory but funny when used together. This disciple is not a special title or anything, because for LBH, he is *not* someone that should be special in any way, he just wants to be special to SQQ, who he adores and admires and wants to always protect. Many ppl call themselves ‘this disciple’ to address SQQ, its a way to denote their status and their willingness to be taught by him, to have a familial relationship outside of blood. Now, this is important to LBH bc he feels like he belongs somewhere calling himself this, especially bc he had no home before, and after when he was part of the peak he was singled out as special but in a bad way, so I believe that he just wants to belong somewhere, to a home. Later on, its also important to him because its a reassurance that SQQ still recognizes him as his family. This disciple, for SQQ is like a threat, but for LBH is a way of asking ‘do you still want me?’ ‘Do you see im the same person you shared your home with?’ And that SQQ doesn’t dare reclaim him at first hurts him bc he yearns to go back to being his disciple, cared for and protected under his master’s sleeve. But LBH also wants more than that if he can have it, and this is when the abandonment issues kick again. He calls himself ‘this husband’ in tears, because he got what he wanted and what he was sure he didn’t deserve for being himself, it’s again, a reassurance of his position in SQQ’s live and in his heart, it means he has the power to *stay*, which is the most important thing for him.

Ill finish here bc im getting mushy and weepy and i need to write and read more fic, thanks for coming to read my babbles and do tell me if there’s something or some nickname i missed and you want it studied too! 💖

[readyforthegarden]

kait my beloved! i saw your prompts earlier and then forgot to send one, but allie's just reminded me, so i came here to request "peppering small kisses all over their face to wake them" with jakey pleaseeeee 🥰

we know he's a giggler as much as he tries to be serious all the time, and the thought of quiet little morning voice giggles almost just sent me to the hospital

okay i'm back with these prompts!!!! thank you for your patience pj my love!! i hope you enjoy!!

It had been a long week, and you were so ready to be home. Your mother had decided to put your childhood home up for sale, citing the lawn care and general maintenance was becoming to much for her to do alone as she got older. Instead, she had found a nice condo, where everything would be taken care of for her. You'd flown back to your home state to help her pack and clean out the house.

Your boyfriend, Jake, had wanted to go with you, however his own schedule had been full of studio time and rehearsals before he and his brothers went back on the road in a few weeks. You made do with facetiming almost every night, or talking on the phone. You were usually fine being without him for stretches of time. You had to be, knowing your work would keep you from joining him on tour a lot, and during album cycles he'd be busy. But there was something about the emotional time you were having, packing up memories from your childhood, or setting them out for a garage sale or into a donation box. It made you crave the comfort of your partner, the reassurance that even through the changes that were happening, he was going to be steadfast.

You hadn't told him you changed your flight to an earlier one. Jake was supposed to pick you up from the airport at one-thirty in the afternoon, but your mom had been settled into her condo for a few days, and there wasn't anymore reason for you to stay. You'd opted for an uber back to your home, the sun just starting to rise as you arrived. You were thankful the uber driver got out to help you get your bag out of the trunk, it being heavier with a few extras from your home.

Rolling it up to your front door, you fished your keys out of your bag and quietly unlocked it. There was a fifty/fifty chance that either Jake was still awake putzing around the house, or he was in bed, dead to the world. You had fallen asleep on the phone with him last night, listening to him talk about at restaurant Sam had taken him to, that he was exited to take you to try. But that didn't mean Jake had fallen asleep.

The house was quiet, still dim with just the early morning sun starting to creep in. You could hear the faint hum of your fan on upstairs, meaning Jake was indeed in bed. You left your suitcase and bags at the door after locking it again and kicking off your shoes, nearly tip-toeing across the foyer and making your way upstairs. Pushing open the door to your bedroom, you were hit with the cool air in there, the fan blowing on you as it swiveled. Jake was tangled up in the bedding, his dark hair splayed across the pillow. As you stepped closer, you saw his phone clutched in his hand, a sign he also fell asleep while on the phone with you, no doubt listening to your breathing on the other end of the line to fall asleep himself.

Softly, you climbed into the bed, smiling at your love and how serene he seemed while sleeping, his mouth parted slightly. Jake's round face was always something you found so sweet, so handsome. His cheeks were the perfect place to leave kisses, other than his lips. You couldn't help yourself, you'd missed him too much. Leaning forward, you pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his cheek.

One turned into to two, and then suddenly you were raining soft kisses all over Jake's face, feeling him start to wake underneath you. As his body stretched, his chest rumbled with deep giggles, turning his face so you could get the side that had been resting on the pillow.

"Well good morning honey," he chuckled as his arms encircled you, rolling over so you were on top of him. You mumbled out a good morning reply between smooches, making sure to get every square millimeter of his face. Jake continued his laughter as you kept going. "I missed you too,"

"I'm sorry," you sat up, brushing the hair out of your face as you gazed down at him and caught your breath. "I just needed to kiss you, I missed you so bad." Jake raised a hand, sliding it under your hair and around the back of your neck, gently guiding you down for a sweet, slow kiss on the lips.

"You booked an earlier flight just to come home and shower me with affection?" he asked, a playful smirk on his lips. You shrugged with a small nod.

"And what if I did?"

"I'd say that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me." Jake smiled sleepily. "Now, why don't you change into your pajamas, crawl back into this bed, and cuddle with me until it's a decent hour to be awake?"

"That sounds perfect." you climbed off him, and moved to your dresser, taking off your plane clothes and changing into one of Jake's old t-shirts and a pair of your sleep shorts before crawling back into bed, snuggling up into Jake's side, catching up on some much needed sleep.

[bellysoupset]

It's @lisupanddown with a MINI fic request - we haven't seen any motion sickness lately, and I'd love a little, loving drabble with sick Leo and caretaker Jon in a situation where they have to travel, and maybe Jon was in charge of bringing the anti-nausea meds and forgot, and feels so guilty about it because they both know Leo's going to get sick and there's no way to avoid it. Would love to see the onset of the nausea - throat bobbing, swallowing, Jonah hovering and trying to do his doctor best to help while cursing himself for forgetting the meds. And Leo both feeling so sick, but also trying to comfort Jonah because hey, mistakes happen (maybe he can start out being annoyed or stressed or prickly, but realizes eventually that that's not helping the situation). Okay, so this is awfully specific and detailed, lol.

Oh my god, Lis, this is noooot little 🙈. But I'll try anyway.

---------------------

"I'm so excited I'm almost vibrating out of my skin," Leo said, as soon as Jonah pulled over in front of his work building. They were all heading down to Doveport, or rather, just outside of it.

Vince, the overtly friendly person he was, had already stricken up a friendship with one of the older teachers, who just so happened to have a cabin by the lake and was more than happy to rent it out for the weekend for a decent fee.

It was just the weekend, so in order to better utilize their time, Jonah and Leo were leaving straight after work on a Friday. It was court day, so Leo didn't even have time to pack, trusting Jon to do it for him.

Besides, it was just two days away, even if he forgot something like extra underwear, it would be fine, right?

Jonah was drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove, completely relaxed, even if he looked pretty tired himself after working all day and with four hours of road ahead of them.

Jon was in the best mood Leo had ever seen him lately, all smiley and soft, probably due to his sister visiting and everything falling into place as his controlling ass had planned. He was overdue a cranky moment, Leo thought with a snort, leaning his head back and planning on napping for his half of the trip as the passenger.

No such thing. The minute they were out of the city and into the open road, Leo felt a pressure between his ears, as if someone was squeezing his head. He let out a sigh, opening his eyes and focusing them on the horizon, immediately recognizing the initial signs of motion sickness.

"We should've carpooled," Leo said, just because their comfortable silence was turning into anything but, given the weird pressure in his head, "there's no reason for all of us to drive separately."

"Wendy left during lunch," Jonah reminded him, unbothered, "and I'm not sharing a car with Luke and Bell, they drive me insane."

"Uhm," Leo rubbed a hand over his face and let out yet another sigh when staring at the sun setting ahead of them didn't help at all, "where did you put the dramamine?"

"Already?" Jonah groaned, "it's in your backpack, backseat, front pocket."

"Already," Leo nodded, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning around to grab the blue backpack. He sat back down on his seat and opened the front zipper, only to frown. Some minty bubblegum, a folded plastic bag, his phone charger... "it's not here."

"Of course it is, search better," Jon rolled his eyes, lowering his window so he could rest an elbow on the windowsil and his head on his hand, yawning, "I brought my fishing gear."

"I didn't even know you had that," Leo mumbled, removing all the contents from the front pocket and glaring at the empty space. No pills. He unzipped the other pockets, now feeling much more urgent as glancing down to search for the meds was making his nausea worse, "it's not here. You didn't pack the freaking meds, Jon."

Jonah frowned, looking away from the road, then switching his hands on the steering whell, so he could shove his right one inside the backpack Leo had already inspected, fully believing his boyfriend had done a poor job of it.

Then he cursed, "oh shit, I'm sorry, Leo- Maybe it's in my bag?"

Leo groaned, covering his face with his hands and rubbing vigoriously as if that was going to help the uncomfortable sloshing in his belly. The thought of his lunch flashed in front of his eyes and Leo swallowed in thickly, turning around once more in order to exchange bags.

It was to no avail, Jonah hadn't brought the meds.

"Fucking hell, Jon," Leo said, grabbing the plastic bag he had iniatially seen and opening it on his lap. He leaned back, breathing through his mouth and rolling down his window, hoping the cool air was going to help some.

"There's a rest stop in one hour," Jonah said in a strained voice, clearly feeling guilty, "I think they have a pharmacy. Can you hold on that long?"

Leo raised a hand and shook it from side to side in order to indicate he wasn't sure. He didn't dare speak, pressing his lips in a thin line as overly sweet saliva started to flood his mouth.

He gulped down, then startled as he felt Jon taking his hand in his, "What-"

"It's a pressure point," the other man answered, keeping his eyes on the road, "maybe it'll help...?"

"Uhm," Leo gulped down when he tried to answer, only to feel his stomach rocket up his throat. He felt cold sweat start to collect over his upper lip, glueing the baby hairs to his nape, "god..."

"Do you want me to pull over?" Jonah sounded every bit as if Leo had told him they'd need to put down the family dog. Leo ignored him, pulling his hand from Jon's hold and grabbing at the plastic bag, bringing it up to his mouth.

Vaguely he could hear his boyfriend saying something else, but Leo ignored him, spitting inside the bag. His mouth felt terrible. He had eaten risotto for lunch and the next weak heave was just spit and some fucking grains that got stuck in his throat and caused him to gag loudly.

The car swerved and Leo groaned, planting a sweaty hand to the dashboard as he felt his head swim. With the bag half open, Leo let out a sick burp, that turned frothy and disgusting at the end-

"Here," Jonah grabbed the other side of the bag since he had let go and moved it up to Leo's mouth, "I got you-"

"Gon'besick," Leo slurred, "pullovr," his words were sticking together, eyes tearing up as yet another wave of hot nausea washed over him, causing his stomach to clench again, "Jon pull over-"

"I did, baby," Jonah's soft hand suddenly was on his forehead, helping Leo support it, and the blonde leaned heavily against the touch, gagging again, "deep breaths, this will pass ina moment."

He forced a breath through his nose, straightening up and dizzily grabbing the door handle, pushing it open.

"Leo, wait-" Jon said, but it was to no avail, as the other man stumbled out of the car and immediately fell down on his knees on the grass, heaving and bringing up a gush of vomit all over the grass.

"God-" Leo whined, coughing to clear up his throat and wiping at the micro tears that had slipped out. His stomach still felt uneasy, but puking had helped some, so had standing on the ground and no longer feeling claustrophobic inside the car. He forced up a burp and it brought up a little dribble of spit and liquidy vomit, then Leo fell back on his heels, startling when his back met Jonah's arms.

"I got you," his boyfriend said, sounding terribly worried and guilty, "you done?"

"Think- think so," Leo interrupted himself with a sour burp and shivered at the taste, "help me up."

Jonah didn't need to be told twice. Now getting a better bearing of their surroundings, Leo could tell his boyfriend was pale as well, how much was sympathy nausea, how much was his nervous stomach Leo didn't know.

"You good?" He rasped, as Jon helped him towards the car. Instead of going inside, Leo collapsed against the hood and happily took the water bottle Jonah retrieved from the backseat.

"If I'm good?" Jon scoffed, stepping aside so Leo could swirl the water in his mouth and spit it on the grass. At least the headlights were not illuminating the mess on the ground just a couple feet ahead, "I'm fucking peachy, you're the one puking."

"I'm okay," Leo rubbed a hand over his stomach, pressing on it and bringing up a little burp that he blew out under his breath, "just give me a minute."

"I'm really sorry," Jonah sighed, stepping closer, "do you wanna lie in the back? Or I can drop you at the nearest gas station, then grab the meds in the rest stop and com-"

"Don't be ridiculous," Leo rolled his eyes, leaning in and planting his forehead to Jon's shoulder, "really, it's just carsickness, it's not like I'm dying. Give me a minute."

Jonah let out a scoff, but hugged him closer, planting a hand on Leo's back and rubbing up and down, "I'm sorry-"

"Please, shut up about it," Leo whined, sinking into Jon's warmth and trying to gather up courage to get back inside the car, "it's fine."

He could almost hear Jon's retort, but at least he didn't say it out loud.

Leo breathed in, measuredly, until the nausea receeded almost completely. He wasn't looking forward to the next hour until the stop, but at least it was just one more hour or so.

He straightened up, "switch with me, let me drive."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Leo nodded, "and stop kicking yourself over it, it's fine."

"I'll make it up to you," Jonah promised, getting in the passenger side. Leo got in the driver one, fiddling with the seat.

"Oh, yeah, you better. I want breakfast in bed tomorrow morning," he teased lightly, even if the mere thought of food made his stomach churn.

Jon opened a relieved smile at the teasing, "deal, breakfast and head, how about?"

"Sounds lovely," Leo snorted, starting up the car.

[visibleclosedeyes]

ᴇᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟ ᴄᴀᴘᴛɪᴠᴇ

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ : ᴋʜᴀᴇɴʀɪ'ᴀʜ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪꜱ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ ᴄᴀᴘᴛɪᴠᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴏʀᴀx ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴛᴀᴄʟʏꜱᴍ

(ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪꜱ ꜰᴇᴍ)

There is strength in stone and pillars and the archon of geo element, without a doubt, inhibited this characteristic. And then there’s her, a little something of the sinners and stars that he has no business meddling with. Zhongli cannot sweep it out of the way like how he normally sweeps his godhood under the floorboard—her eyes are clear blue, clearer than the purest water on the brightest day in Liyue, and the star stitches pupils constantly remind him of her true origin. 

“Kneel before me,” he commands, a voice that usually was calm is now filled with the darkest excitement. As sick as it sounds, it made him feel so…excited like he was still in the Archon war. It has nothing logically to do with each other but it makes him remind of his…domineering days. So she kneels, the little sinner is on her knees the instant the divine has commanded—her eyes glittering with humiliated pride, pleasure, and hatred from submission. Morax reaches for one of her tresses that is getting in the way of seeing her face fully, her eyes twitch slightly when he tugs it behind her ear. 

“You like to deny it, but you also enjoy this as much as I do, don’t you?” Morax asks a question that isn’t meant to be answered. Not by her anyway. 

She scoffs and rolls her eyes in such an obvious into the oblivion

“Do what you have to do, and be done with it,” the kneeling Khaenri’ahn sneers, if he isn’t the one standing directly in front and above her, he would think that she is having an upper hand. She didn’t though, not before and after he leveled Khaenri’ah to the ground back to cinder that is. 

Morax grabs her hair with harsh force, making her yelp out involuntarily as she resists her head from being craned up by him but her little resistance was over as soon as it started when she realized that the geo archon would not hesitate to snap her neck in half if he got annoyed enough. So she conceits; awaits whatever fate would dictate. She is at the end of the road of resistance.

Morax feels bad. Yet, he reasons with himself that she is better by his side—the geo archon than struggling outside in the world which shares no love for Khaenri’ahn. Sometimes, however, he reasons to himself that this needs to be done for the greater good of Teyvat because she IS a danger; she IS a sinner who will only bring misery to everyone else including her. Sometimes, only when needed, Morax will lock his lover away as punishment and protection—he will see her eyes, the blue flame in her star-stitched eyes flickering with ancient rage. 

Morax presses his rough thumb onto her lips full of cracks and dryness; he takes a mental note to bring her some remedy balm in the future. 

“You didn’t drink as much water as you should’ve, don’t you ?” The man scolds her as if he is her disappointed father finding out his daughter has neglected herself. Oh, does it make her feel sick to the core because her real father is dead right in the pillars and rubbles that collapsed because of Morax himself? And besides that, the god has been using her body for his pleasure, according to the contract she signed ‘consensually’ to save her fucking life. 

“ It’s none of your business, and stop…talking to me like you’re my father. It’s fucking sick,” her bright blue eyes look away right at the windows. Distracting herself from his face with the Liyue early morning scenery; even in her foulest mood, she cannot deny the beauty that the Liyue landscape has to offer. 

The godling doesn’t answer. He only offers her his quiet snickering. 

“ Oh? What makes you think I sound like that? Maybe this is just one of your fantasies?” The geo archon answer is in jest but it cuts as sharp as a White Tassel into the heart. But before she could retaliate, he cut her off with another blow.

“Might as well just be your father. Have you ever taken care of yourself without my command? Did you dehydrate on purpose? You know the curse of immortality includes suicide too,” 

She knows this very well but that doesn’t mean she won’t try. Suicide was on a few first times she tried but it was nothing but curious experiments for her. And what did they say about Khaenri’ahn and experiments? 

The surrendered Khaenri’ahn feels his touch on her forearm, then his rough hand moves down and down until it can be found on her hip. Disgust—that is the emotion she feels at the end of her stomach. In a situation like this; suicide to seek solace and freedom from death is preferable, oh only if any of those deadly methods work. 

“Consider this—the alternative is being tortured for eternity, offering your body to me for eternity is a much more preferable choice” Morax speaks as his other hand, probably a dominant one, reaches for her neck from behind. He pushes her back flat against him.

“Choice? A choice between what and what?” She spits each of her words with great resentment. Maybe for a regular mortal; living a regular lifespan; capable of getting regular death, then killing herself might actually be a viable choice. He doesn’t understand that, oh no he doesn’t; for even the gods too can succumb to death. No, he has to know—he IS the god of contracts, he would have enough intellect to understand such a thing. She can smell him; it’s actually not something she expected from the geo archon when she first met him—her expectation of odor is something akin to wet dirt and rock but Morax smells like a flower, a scent which she as a Khaenri’ahn never experienced before. 

She understands why the geo archon would wish to hold her captive. After all, she is just like any of her compatriots—sinners in the eyes of the ‘great divine’ Celestia. Yes, it would be perfectly rational if Morax kept her so he could just torture her for eternity. But that’s not how he treated her—Morax treated her well enough but then, like today, he would just use her body for his pleasure. There is no way to run from his grasp, she might not get him now but they have time for eternity…so what’s the hurry?