#I love the Hee-Hos' lost comment

[rustyvanburace]

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

Love in The Big City Part 3 - Notes from A Reader

Note 1: What's in a Name?

Names play a big role in Part 3 of Love in the Big City, in no small part because Part 3 is the section which gives its own name, "Love in the Big City", to the book itself.

Immediately this marks Part 3 out as important, as the potential birthplace of this whole story, as the potential reason Young picked up his pen to spill his whole story to the world, as the potential reason the fictional Love in the Big City exists in the first place.

Something in this section is important, something in this section holds weight, something in this section holds the heart of the book in its hands.

And that something is Gyu-Ho.

Gyu-Ho and the love Young finally found with him in the big city of Seoul.

And here we have another name. Gyu-Ho is the second named character in the book, with the first being Jae-Hee, and that certainly doesn't read as a coincidence.

It could be argued that Gyu-Ho and Jae-Hee are the only 2 named characters because they are the only ones in the story who aren't smothered in some form of guilt or self-loathing, the only ones who are openly themselves but, for me, that doesn't quite fit (the T-ara's are given nicknames and it certainly seems like they are more openly themselves than anyone else in the book). Instead to me, feels like a sign of significance, a sign of just how important they were to the Young that is written about and how important they still are to the Young that did the writing.

Everyone else is either replaceable (Young's flings and acquaintances) or the source of a relationship that brought pain he'd rather leave behind (Eomma and Hyung). But Jae-Hee was the first person in who he found a home and Gyu-Ho was the second, and in naming them he affords them more significance than he affords himself in his own story. These are the two people who shaped him for the better, so they deserve to be acknowledged as such.

Note 1.5: You

Alongside the fact that Gyu-Ho one of the only named characters in the book, there is another reason I think his character is the impetus for the entire story that came before and that is the moments when Young doesn't call him by his name but instead calls him... you.

The majority of Love in the Big City is written in the first person with Young occasionally addressing us, the reader, directly as he comments on the events of his life. The tone is conversational and intimate, as one would address a friend or a diary.

And then, at the start of Part 3 something slips.

The "you" Young is addressing isn't us, the reader, any more. It's Gyu-Ho:

"But you, your sideburns curved into your beard...." p 133.

"Your tongue, which was as warm as your gaze...." p 133.

"Yes. to tell you the truth now, after all that has happened since. I wasn't that drunk that night." p. 133.

The tone changes from conversational to reverent, from lightly personal to intimate, from wryly removed to loaded with shared history. It doesn't happen every time, it doesn't happen consistently, but it happens and, quite frankly, I love it.

"Ah, this is who Young is writing for."

That's what those moments felt like to me, like Young had slipped as he revisited moments loaded with emotions and they had spilled onto the page, no longer a story for faceless readers but a love letter to a lost love, an attempt to speak to him once more.

It's one of the most loaded writing decisions I've come across in quite some time and the layers it adds to the section, to the book are amazing for something so seemingly inconsequentially small.

So what's in a name? A whole damn lot, but there's even more in that small word you.

[insanelyadd]

If the song fits it fits, regardless of possible embarrassment. Anyway, lets hear what songs you put together, and what your reasons are!

Oh ho ho, you just gave me a chance to talk about music, hee hee hoo hoo.

Okay so I'll start with the playlist I made for the Collector, as a heads up note about all of these playlists, I am far from done, so while they're all short right now, I will be getting around to adding more.

Through Glass by Stone Sour -

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass Don't know how much time has passed All I know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head How do you feel? That is the question But I forget you don't expect an easy answer When something like a soul becomes initialized And folded up like paper dolls and little notes You can't expect a bit of hope So while you're outside looking in Describing what you see Remember what you're staring at is me (...) How much is real? So much to question An epidemic of the mannequins Contaminating everything We thought came from the heart It never did right from the start Just listen to the noises (Null and void instead of voices) Before you tell yourself It's just a different scene Remember it's just different from what you've seen (...) And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah

I cannot stress enough that these are the actual lyrics and I did not move them around or anything, all I did was remove the repeating verses/choruses. This song came out in 2006. An absolute shoe-in to be used in AMVs for this little guy except it's a rock song from 2006 and not an indie-pop song from the last five years and it's also not popular.

I was doing my usual thing like a week or two ago where I go through a bunch of songs I heard on the radio when I was in elementary school and as I was relistening to this song I felt like I had lost my mind. I remember relating to this song a lot when I was little kid because the song is about being lonely, and I think the Collector would relate to it too. More kids should listen to rock music from the 2000s because I am deluded* and think a lot of it is good. Music critics tremble before me when they try to say nu metal is bad and I just say "Nah".

(*Yes I do have psychosis and have delusions for realsies, I can use this word)

After this it's all under the cut because this post will end up being long because I fucking love talking about lyrics and the fun little picture shows my brain makes when I hear a song that fits a character. if you don't feel like reading the Archivists playlist discussion be happy knowing I summed all of them up in one picture:

No Lullaby by Siames -

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home? Where's the love when you were left on your own? So alone

The most relevant lyrics in the song are the chorus because the verses on this song are super abstract, like more than their other songs that I've heard. Final lines of the song are the above lines but instead of "so alone" it says "Who says you're on your own?" which feels like how their arc concludes in the show.

All the Best by Siames -

Let's play pretend now Don't be afraid, no Stop being worried this could be the way We are what we made up Ready for a new start Follow your dreams no other way will be that great And I'll keep searching for all the best Picture yourself in a rocket and believe you can be anything you want The meaning of our actions feeds the power of attraction, let it flow Just let it flow It's right under our noses Going through our minds With passion and devotion (with passion and devotion) Your light can be our sun

I feel the lyrics here are pretty self-explanatory. Since the band is Argentinian I'm going to forgive any wonkyness in the lyrics.

Steal My Sunshine by LEN -

Genuinely the lyrics for this song are very abstract but apparently it was written when the brother and sister of the group were having a fight. Though I think the lines "And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, So I missed a million miles of fun" are pretty good. Also it sort of just sounds like a song he would like.

Island In The Sun by Wheezer -

On an island in the sun We'll be playing and having fun And it makes me feel so fine I can't control my brain We'll run away together We'll spend some time forever We'll never feel bad anymore

Escapism, sun motif, easy pick for the Collector. Plus the song itself has this sort of fun, laid back up-beatness to it.

Kids by MGMT -

You were a child, crawling on your knees toward it Making momma so proud But your voice is too loud We like to watch you laughing You pick the insects off plants No time to think of consequences Control yourself Take only what you need from it A family of trees wanting To be haunted (...) The memories fade like looking through a fogged mirror Decision to decisions are made and not bought But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot, I guess not

I made a whole AMV for the Collector and King set to this song, it's a perfect fit, if I were to post all the relevant lyrics I would probably end up posting the whole song. Actually fuck it I'll post them anyways for everyone who's never heard this song.

Fine by Lemon Demon - (the sped up version)

Light is on the way, we'll be having a fun time It's such a lovely day, we should pocket the sunshine And never give it back, even if there's a heat wave We're stalling on the track, it will just be a close shave I know (I know) That in a snap, all the birds will sing I know (I know) I'm full of crap, but still Everything works out nice in the end The sun will marry the moon It'll be fine Why don't we sit back, mellow again And have a nice afternoon? It'll be fine

I feel like this is a fun song for them. Once again sun and moon imagery in the song, outwardly cheerful and bouncy in that way, but menacing at the same time.

GRRRLS by Aviva - (specifically the version that's a Collector animatic)

I can't explain it better than the video explains itself, so here's a link

Best of You by Foo Fighters -

I've got another confession to make I'm your fool Everyone's got their chains to break Holding you Were you born to resist or be abused? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best The best of you?

I think it fits thematically with the Collector breaking free from the cycle of abuse he was subjected to.

When I'm Gone by 3 Doors Down -

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone Everything I am and everything in me Wants to be the one you wanted me to be I'll never let you down even if I could I'd give up everything if only for your good So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there So love me when I'm gone Love me when I'm gone But when your education x-ray cannot see under my skin I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends Been roaming through this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone And part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone

Most annoying thing on the face of the earth when you're making playlists for child characters or siblings with terrible relationships is probably that every goddamn song you find where the lyrics are vague enough to be interpreted as a familial relationship and not romantic was probably still originally written to be romantic *strangles amatonormativity with my bare fucking hands for an hour straight*

So anyways in this context the song is about the Collector trying to reconcile their feelings about their family being shitty with their want to connect and love people and be comforted by the familiar.

Now for the playlists for the Archivists. I encourage you to look at the scroll bar on your screen. I will not judge you for looking at it and deciding you've read enough, especially since my Archivists (anyone's Archivists really) are totally made up and are basically OCs inhabiting a hole left by canon. I still have fun with them tho.

Penumbra first because she has the shortest playlist (Sorry Penny it's hard to find songs about being stressed by raising your younger siblings and being emotionally and mentally drained by stress)

Help! by The Beatles -

So much younger than today (I never need) I never needed anybody's help in any way (Now) but now these days are gone (these days are gone) I'm not so self assured (And now I find) now I find I've changed my mind And opened up the doors (...) In oh so many ways (My independ-) my independence seems to vanish in the haze (But) but every now and then (now and then) I feel so insecure

Once again on closer inspection of the lyrics I think this is AGAIN about romance. I choose to ignore it. I Do Not See It. I'm taking the implications out back and shooting them. Mainly I chose this song because it was kind of funny for everyone's playlists to be songs from the last 30 years mostly and Penny is out here like "I relate to this Beatles song which is a literal cry for help" someone save this woman (nonbinary).

Stressed Out by twenty one pilots -

Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it if I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it, I'd probably only sell one

*putting on a very serious face* She's stressed, she yearns for the nostalgia of when she wasn't responsible for so many things. The part about making money means nothing because I don't think Collectors participate in any economy because it's implied they don't need to eat and they could probably just magic up whatever they want/need.

Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine -

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind You can't carry it with you if you want to survive And I never wanted anything from you Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

She wants to stop being so stressed out all the time but I think if she suddenly stopped experiencing it she would probably explode. Girl needs a therapist so badly. And a vacation. I like this song because when I looked up the meaning it was like "Bad days will end and things will get better one day" and the lyrics describe the incoming happiness as graphically fatal and terrifying in its approach like being hit by a fucking train in the first two lines of the song.

D.A.N.C.E. by Justice -

No need to analyze the lyrics here, I think she would just genuinely like this song and dance to it, though I think part of it is that there's a little bit of desperation in the way it's sung, like "please dance you have to dance or you will die" which is probably how she would feel if she was given time to relax like "oh wow this has never happened before, am I supposed to be afraid?"

Next I'll do Crescent because why not. "Birth" order, sure. Also Crescent's songs should be fairly easy to explain

The Pretender by Foo Fighters -

Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend Keep you in the dark And so it all began Send in your skeletons Sing as their bones go marching in again They need you buried deep The secrets that you keep are ever ready Are you ready? (...) What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays? You're the pretender What if I say I will never surrender? I'm the voice inside your head You refuse to hear I'm the face that you have to face Mirroring your stare I'm what's left, I'm what's right I'm the enemy I'm the hand that'll take you down Bring you to your knees So, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend

I mean. She's a liar, a pretender, she's keeping a secret (having their parent taken away) from her siblings. He's an evil bastard. This explanation will be the standard response to most songs in this playlist but maybe from different angles.

Dangerous by Big Data ft Joywave -

Nobody's listening when we're alone Nobody's listening, there's nobody listening, No one can hear us when we're alone No one can hear us, no, no one can hear us And I've gotta get out of here Sink down, into the dark Keep on running I've gotta get out of here (Keep on running) Sink down, into the dark You understand, they got a plan for us I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous It must be fate, I found a place for us I bet you didn't know someone could love you this much

A little bit uncharacteristically paranoid for Crescent tbh, but the song is fucking awesome and even though the most fitting part of the song is only one line "I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous" it is sung in this sort of taunting way that really has enough threatening intent to be perfect for him.

Miss Murder by AFI -

With just a look, they shook And heavens bowed before him Simply a look can break your heart The stars that pierce the sky He left them all behind We're left to wonder why He left us all behind

After reading the lyrics I have a suspicion they aren't what 10 year old me interpreted them to be about. That's alright. I can imagine the verses are about all the times Crescent has made cults to worship her (I have a HC that Collectors primarily do this as a means of acquiring samples from all the planets they visit because it's easier to convince the most advanced life on the planet that you are a god who demands tribute and getting them to mobilize for you VS going around finding all the animals and plants and whatever else yourself).

I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters -

I've got to hand it to you You've played by all the same rules It takes the truth to fool me And now you've made me angry I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

Did I tell you guys??? Did I mention??? Crescent likes to kill people???? Most interesting part of this choice is how the truth will fool him, which is true. If she believes something that isn't true about you and makes the wrong assumptions based on that it's better for you in the long run, though continued exposure to her increases the chances that he'll eventually realize he made the wrong guess and then he'll get Very Mad about it.

Breezeblocks by alt-J -

No lyrical analysis because yeah they don't really fit but I like the song for the vibe, mainly the ending, though that sort of repetitive mania isn't really in line with how I characterize Crescent. I personally love it, this song triggers my mania sometimes and it's great.

Lone Digger by Caravan Palace -

Another one where it's less about how I write the character and more about what I think she'd like to listen or dance to. I think she would enjoy the frantic energy of the song.

You're Gonna Go Far Kid by Offspring -

Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time And turning all against the one is an art that's hard to teach Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd And as you step back into line, a mob jumps to their feet (...) With a thousand lies and a good disguise Hit 'em right between the eyes Hit 'em right between the eyes When you walk away, nothing more to say See the lightning in your eyes See 'em running for their lives Slowly out of line, and drifting closer in your sight So play it out, I'm wide awake, it's a scene about me There's something in your way and now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want, well, it's all because of me

I feel like the picture here is clear, liar, manipulative, doesn't show her true face so she's always in disguise (metaphorically), the implication of murder/fighting. *slaps the hood of this song* This baby can fit so many of Crescent's worst qualities in it.

I Get It by CheVelle -

So you say you're ignored, as it is Well, give us your sad, sad trip You're right, I get it It all makes sense, you're the perfect person So bright, so wrong Let's all live in your imaginary life Assumed it's whether We're right, or wrong We're doomed and there's plenty for all How dare you catch me counting? How dare you call at all? How dare you call this suffering? How dare you call at all?

Crescent's inner monologue if either of the Twins voice their concerns about anything. Someone needs to hit him with a car.

Annihilation by A Perfect Circle -

It's your choice, your choice, your choice, your choice, Peace or annihilation

This song I think is originally about the American military industrial complex and nuclear war. So anyways for my dumb little OC's playlist this is basically the choice they give the people of the planets they visit if they start to get hostile. "Hey, I know things are tense but have you considered that I will boil your oceans and burn your world to ash if you don't choose to be nice?" Obviously it's also another instance of the song only really having one or two lines that strongly fit the vibe but you see the vision?

You're Going Down by Sick Puppies -

Define your meaning of war To me, it's what we do when we're bored I feel the heat comin' off of the blacktop And it makes me want it more Because I'm hyped up, out of control If it's a fight, I'm ready to go I wouldn't put my money on the other guy If you know what I know that I know (...) This is hardly worth fighting for But it's the little petty shit that I can't ignore When my fist hits your face and your face hits the floor It'll be a long time comin' Bet you got the message now 'Cause I was never goin' Yeah, you're the one that's going down

Oh hey one thing I haven't said about Crescent yet is she sometimes beats the shit out of her siblings (mainly Solari who instigates it on purpose even though she knows she'll lose because it's worth it to them to get under his skin). Well when I say "beats the shit out of them" I mean it more like Crescent can get a single good solid hit in and it knocks Solari down and the fight is over. Solari has never actually been mad enough to push their luck into a full-on brawl with Crescent. If Solari actually, for real, wants to fight him then she duels him with magic instead because it's an even match-up.

Next up I'll do Solari

She also has You're Going Down, but intended from the opposite perspective, while Crescent is the singer, Solari is the listener.

The Red by CheVelle -

The red Well, it filters through So lay down The threat is real When his sight Goes red again Seeing red again Seeing red again

You might be wondering, is this another song from Solari's perspective about Crescent? No. Solari gets so mad she basically loses all control of herself, hence the destruction of property she does. If they ever got actually mad enough to actually fight Crescent for real with their hands, she would be a very dirty fighter. She sees Crescent on her missions visiting the worlds of mortals. She's watched him fight for thousands of years. Crescent has never seen Solari fight with their hands. She might not be as physically strong as he is but she would be able to have the advantage of Crescent not knowing what to expect. Plus if Satellite is there and something has made their twin THAT mad then they would join in too.

Headstrong by Trapt -

Conclusions manifest Your first impressions got to be your very best I see you're full of shit and that's alright That's how you play, I guess you get through every night Well, now that's over I see your fantasy You wanna make it a reality paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads, yeah Well, now that's over I see your motives inside Decisions to hide Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on any one I know that you are wrong Headstrong, we're headstrong

Solari's mind when they're about to start shit with Crescent again. Unrelated I saw the band was marked red on my screen earlier and I was like "???" for a half second before remembering the lead singer is a dipshit loser who whines on twitter and facebook because I guess he has nothing better to do. May the miserable cretin never chart again.

Oh No! by Marina -

I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, oh! One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart Maybe it is all a test 'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best

We've come to the portion of the playlist where Solari is consumed by guilt and regret. It's actually not separated like that, I'm just saying these lines speak to how she wants to change who she is as a person because she realizes she doesn't like who she currently is. Not that Penumbra or Crescent would know she's trying to get better, because Solari doesn't respect either of them and does not put in effort into improving herself for them, she's doing it for her little brother, the Collector. Even if she never gets to see them again.

Bother by Stone Sour -

Wish I was too dead to cry My self-affliction fades Stones to throw at my creator Masochists to which I cater You don't need to bother I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on I won't let go 'til it bleeds Wish I was too dead to care If indeed I cared at all Never had a voice to protest So you fed me shit to digest I wish I had a reason My flaws are open season For this, I gave up trying One good turn deserves my dying

I did mention they are being eaten alive by guilt and regrets right? This is for when Solari is having a bad time in her head.

Riot by Three Days Grace -

If you feel so empty So used up, so let down If you feel so angry So ripped off, so stepped on You're not the only one refusing to back down You're not the only one, so get up Let's start a riot A riot Let's start a riot

Solari is ready and back to being angry. They totally would incite a riot if they felt like they had a good enough reason to start one.

Fine Again by Seether -

And I am aware now Of how everything's gonna be fine One day, too late, I'm in Hell I am prepared now Seems everyone's gonna be fine One day, too late, just as well I feel a dream in me expire And there's no one left to blame it on I hear you label me a liar 'Cause I can't seem to get this through

Just kidding it's Solari Emo Hours again. The only line in the song that doesn't really apply are the lines about staying sober because I HC that there isn't really any chemical that has any effect on Collectors like that. Anyways this is Solari being like "Wow the two older siblings were able to just go back to pretending everything is fine after getting rid of our baby sibling what the fuck."

These next three songs Solari shares with Satellite so I'll talk about why I chose them for both.

Send the Pain Below by CheVelle -

I liked having hurt So send the pain below Where I need it You used to beg me to take care of things And smile at the thought of me failing But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below Much like suffocating Much like suffocating (...) You used to run me away all while laughing Then cry about the fact 'til I returned But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below

This is a bit messy but whenever the lines say "You did this" that's a perspective shift for the line from the twins' perspective to The Collector. Basically another song about the twins regretting being shitheads to their baby brother.

Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park -

Memories consume Like opening the wound I'm picking me apart again You all assume I'm safe here in my room Unless I try to start again I don't want to be the one The battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize That I'm the one confused I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright So, I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'm going to assume some of this song is about some type of addiction. I'm disregarding that. Anyways the part about behavioral issues and not knowing why you act the way you do does align with the twins, and I mentioned it previously with Solari, about her trying to get better for the Collector, if he ever returns, but the same applies to Satellite. Though Satellite is at least attempting to practice this with Penumbra and Crescent. It's kind of difficult because they're so afraid of both of them, and Crescent avoids talking to them whenever he's actually around.

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men -

I don't like walking around this old and empty house So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear The stairs creak as you sleep It's keeping me awake It's the house telling you to close your eyes And some days I can't even dress myself It's killing me to see you this way 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore There's an old voice in my head That's holding me back Well, tell her that I miss our little talks Soon it will be over and buried with our past We used to play outside when we were young And full of life and full of love Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore Don't listen to a word I say (Hey) The screams all sound the same (Hey) And though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore You're gone, gone, gone away I watched you disappear All that's left is a ghost of you Now we're torn, torn, torn apart There's nothing we can do Just let me go, we'll meet again soon Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around I'll see you when I fall asleep

Yeah it's basically the full song. Once again the lyrics were vague and I had to dig around to find out it was written with romance in mind but I am sending my fucking mind beams out and blowing that up. Anyways tell me this couldn't be about Satellite and Solari's guilt for how they treated their little sibling and the last verse here where they "watched you disappear" is about when the Collector was imprisoned, and the torn apart bit is how they feel about their family. I might not identify as asexual anymore (further testing necessary I'll get back to you all on this if it turns out to be true) but I am still going to be fucking grabbing songwriters in my mouth and violently shaking them. Please can you just write complex interesting relationships into songs without being "OH YEAH IT'S ROMANCE" man there's other types of love. Please. I am on my fucking hands and knees.

*double checks playlist* Oh shit Fine Again by Seether is also on Satellite's playlist. Same explanation applies. Don't feel like moving shit around and adding accommodations in the existing text, I've been working on this for four hours because I have severe ADHD and I am dogshit at prioritizing anything.

If you get this far comment on the post about my brave stance that if a candle smells good enough I would eat it. It hasn't happened yet but my toasted coconut s'more candle tempts me every fucking time I smell it.

Anyways now it's Just Satellite

Unwell by Matchbox Twenty -

Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be, me

Fun fact I actually listen to this song when I feel like I might be about to have a bout of existential terror or some other flavor of mental breakdown and singing along to it calms me down. Obviously, Satellite would be able to relate about feeling gripped by a nebulous madness that Changes You when it hits. I actually have an idea for what I might have unintentionally gave them. Like. This is buried deep enough no one will hit it.

Anyways like a few days after I wrote my fucking long ass post about the Archivists and Collector's relationships and related HC and shit I began wondering. "Am I Autistic??" Asked a friend who is autistic and has ADHD at the same time (like what I would have if the answer to this wonder is yes) and she gave me some things to read about it and I was like "oh my fucking god this is literally all me." and then, because I'm some type of menace freak and I reread my posts that I like frequently, I reread my post about the Archivists and shit and I was like "Ah fuck are they all autistic??? I knew I couldn't write neurotypical people because I have literally never been one but seriously??????"

Point is: I might be autistic. Mentioning it here and now because it seems like getting an actual diagnosis is going to be a huge fucking pain in the ass and won't happen for months. And I might have made the Archivists all autistic or probably other slivers of my various other mental illnesses because I am physically incapable writing a neurotypical person. Circling around to what started this tangent: Satellite absolutely has autistic meltdowns. I don't know if ADHD people get meltdowns like how I imagine Satellite gets them, but they are modeled after My Own experiences with having meltdowns. So anyways back to music analysis in relation to my dumbass little OCs.

Bound For The Floor by Local H -

Born to be down I've learned all my lessons before now Born to be down I think you'll get used to it And you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic And you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic (...) Born to be down I think that I've said this before now Born to be down What good is confidence?

I've actually always related this song to mental illness, ever since I was a kid, I always associated the song with the struggles of growing up neurodivergent and how it beats you down and you learn to accept it and live with it.

Words As Weapons by Seether -

All I really want is something beautiful to say Keep me locked up in your broken mind I keep searchin', never been able to find a Light behind your dead eyes Not anything at all You keep living in your own lie, ever-deceitful and ever-unfaithful Keep me guessin', keep me terrified Take everything from my world (...) Keep me dumb, keep me paralyzed Why try swimming? I'm drowning in fables You're not that saint that you externalize You're not anything at all It's oh-so playful when you demonize To spit out the hateful, you're willing and able Words are weapons I'd be terrified You're nothing in my world

Now a song for how Satellite feels about Crescent. Once again, about a person who lies and projects a self that isn't true to who they really are, and the singer is terrified of them, which fits because that's how Satellite feels about their older brother. Crescent is physically strong and gifted with weapons but her best weapon is her charisma and charm and how she uses it to manipulate people.

Keep Talking by Pink Floyd -

There's a silence surrounding me I can't seem to think straight I sit in the corner And no one can bother me I think I should speak now (why won't you talk to me?) I can't seem to speak now (you never talk to me) My words won't come out right (what are you thinking?) I feel like I'm drowning (what are you feeling?) I'm feeling weak now (why won't you talk to me?) But I can't show my weakness (you never talk to me) I sometimes wonder (what are you thinking?) Where do we go from here (what are you feeling?) I feel like I'm drowning (You never talk to me) you know I can't breathe now (What are you thinking?) We're going nowhere (What are you feeling?) We're going nowhere (Why won't you talk to me?) (You never talk to me) (What are you thinking?) (Where do we go from here?)

Now I saved this one for last even though it was literally the first song I ever started associating with Satellite because I think it really fits them. I think this is what it's like from their perspective when they have a meltdown. I don't really know how else to describe it so I guess I'll break this down line by line because sunk cost fallacy at this point why not.

"There's a silence surrounding me" in my own experience with meltdowns, which is what Satellite's are based off of, I find that all the blood rushes to my ears and I sort of lose the ability to recognize sound?

"I can't seem to think straight" probably self-explanatory but in my experience I stop having coherent thought and kind of only think in impulses.

"I sit in the corner, and no one can bother me," though this wasn't always the case (like when you're a child experiencing this you don't really understand what is even happening, and you develop this later in like when it's more like "ah this shit again") you will typically try to remove yourself from the situation that is causing you the distress that makes you have a meltdown in the first place.

"I think I should speak now, I can't seem to speak now, My words won't come out right" this could either be interpreted as a meltdown where you just shut down and stop talking or a meltdown where you fucking scream, I tended to have ones where I would just scream, but that might be because when I get the other way I end up crying silently instead so I might have filed those moments away as just normal "I am sad" moments?

"I feel like I'm drowning" meltdowns can be overwhelming, and when I'm overwhelmed I tend to stop my feet and flail my arms and sort of contort myself because?? I don't know. It feels like I'm trying to escape my own body honestly. Drowning in myself.

"I'm feeling weak now, but I can't show my weakness" this shit is fucking humiliating to have happen in public and around other people man, it sucks ass.

So anyways that is my ridiculously long ass post about music and my little bastards (and baby, the Collector is only baby) that I spent FIVE HOURS writing. I am going to go wash my hands because Bad Texture, drink some water, and then get floor time which is time where I lie face down on my floor and pretend to be a dead body.

[askaceattorney]

Dear Anonymous,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Hee-ho! Hee-ho! Hee-ho! Hee-ha! Hee-ha!

Co-Mod: Heeheeheehohohohohahahahahahaha!!! Is this a Luke Atmey impression contest or something?

Chief Mod Edgeworth: .....

have you never seen Persona 5 Strikers?

Co-Mod: Ah! No, I haven't. Thanks for the clarification.

Mod Zieks: What the hell is a persona, and why are they on strike?

Mod Gregson: Strikers is better than base Persona 5, I will not budge on this.

(Referenced Link)

Co-Mod: Looks interesting. A friend of mine got me into Power Rangers, which I found to be a lot more interesting than I expected for a kid's show, so I can imagine the same being true for this show. That being said, I probably won't have the time to watch it for a while, so that's all the feedback I can give for now.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Miraz van Nohrr,

Chief Mod Edgeworth:

Have you tried commenting through your computer or safari? See if those work. You will find it right here:

Dear Dawsongfg,

Co-Mod: Congratulations! Meanwhile, I have a cat (or rather, my parents do) that likes to drool on me and everything I own. As much as I love cats, nothing in this world will ever convince me to own one. Not one that drools, anyway.

Mod Gregson: I've got two cats! One is approaching 15 years and is still healthy and playful, one is 6 years old and is a grumpy old lady who refuses to let the older cat befriend her. Mod Zieks: I do as well! We all have our own little gremlins in our life. Mine is also a cat, a little tortie named Charlie. I love her, and she is just the silliest little thing.

Dear Jeffrey,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Congratulations on the new puppy.

Sorry about the loss of Dylan. I also lost my pet while she was getting spayed. I hope things go well for your new pet.

Co-Mod: Wait... You're saying that's not a real-life Scooby-Doo?

Just kidding. I'm glad he's been a help to you. My family went through a similar experience when our cat died by falling out of a tree during a storm. We missed having a cat in the house so much that we had to get a new one, so we did. Much like Dylan, she's not the same as our previous cat, but still a great source of joy for us.

Mod Gregson: I'm sorry for the loss of your puppy; I know that can be pretty tough. But I'm glad you've found a new friend and family member to help fill the void!

Mod Zieks: Congratulations on the puppy, and I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.

Dear Anonymous,

Chief Mod Edgeworth:

Who knows? Though, that would be weird in my opinion.

Mod Gregson: Am I the only one who finds this a lot funnier than it should be? Imagining Turnabout Trump or Turnabout Succession but the only change is "Kristopher Gavin" is cracking me up. Yes, this is my sense of humor.

Mod Zieks: Based, but not my kind of based. Then again, mixing dreams and ace attorney brought us 'Country Gavin' (@doctorsiren)

Dear Anonymous,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Miles Edgeworth and Kazuma Asogi! What do you mean Mia or Klavier have better boobs?

Mod Gregson: Neither, I'm more of a legs gal!

Mod Zieks: It's a tie between Max Galactica from the circus cases and Miles Edgeworth.

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Uh-huh and you didn't send me a few previous anonymous letters under different names with the same fakemail.com or the oh so obvious Hotti letters with the same style of writing as you under different emails after sending this mod letter.

Mod Gregson: Oh, I have special words for you later. :)

Dear Miraz van Nohrr,

Chief Mod Edgeworth:

I've visited other states, but not countries. If I did, I'd likely go to Mexico, since my grandparents live at the border. Too bad I need a Passport.

Co-Mod: I visited Matamoros, Mexico once. From what I remember, it was just like being in the U.S., but with everyone speaking Spanish, everything being written in Spanish, and Mexican food tasting like Mexican food (not the Americanized version). Overall, it was pretty enjoyable.

Mod Gregson: I was born in Costa Rica, actually! Moved to the States when I was a young'un. I've gone back there a few times, and... I didn't really like it, but I apparently went to one of the worse parts of it, so maybe I can't judge? Mod Zieks: I've actually never gone out of my home state, and I'd like to change that someday. Preferably, moving from the States and going to the UK. Since their gender-affirming care is paid for by their universal healthcare, and their firearms laws aren't as loose.

- The Mods

[eunsjisoo]

the one i’ve been missing

☆drama: weightlifting fairy kim bok joo 

☆word count: 1.8k

☆genre: fluff and slight angst 

☆a/n: happy holidays @missyriver​!! (and sorry that this is so late). i hope you had a good year, and i hope you enjoy this short piece of holiday fluff (that is slightly angsty). this is lowkey inspired by the little mix song.

Bok Chicken was bustling with festive energy, the sounds of laughter, bickering and music filling the air. Bok Joo couldn’t help but feel at home as she looked around the restaurant. She watched with a fond smile on her lips as her father and uncle bickered over the stove, arguing over who was better at cooking. She watched Seon Ok, Nan Hee and Tae Kwon huddled in the corner, chatting and laughing at Tae Kwon antics. Even Joon Hyung’s family was there, cooing over Jae Yi and Ah Young’s baby girl and admiring the trophies and photos of Bok Joo from her childhood. For the first time in months, she was back home with her family.

But there was one person missing, and try as she might to ignore it, Bok Joo couldn’t help but feel his absence. It had been at least 2 weeks since she had last seen him in person. Between their training and competition schedules, they barely got to see each other. When she was in Korea, he would be on the other side of the world competing in a competition, and vice versa. Sure, they spoke to each other on a daily basis, and even video called each other when they missed each other too much, but it wasn’t the same as actually being together. This had been the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other face to face and boy, did she miss him.

“Bok Joo-yah?”

Bok Joo shook herself out of her thoughts, looking up from her glass to see who had called her.

Nan Hee looked at her, with her usual happy virus smile on her face. “Are you ok? You’ve been quiet all night. It’s unlike you.”

Bok Joo pushed the brightest smile she could muster on her face, “Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be ok?”

Nan Hee smiled softly, knowing that Bok Joo was putting on a brave face, so she grabbed Bok Joo’s hand, “Ok, come join us then. Tae Kwon thinks he can beat Seon Ok in a drinking competition.”

“Why does he bother?” Bok Joo laughed, “She beats him at every challenge he makes.”

Nan Hee laughed along with her, as they walked over to the couple. “I don’t know, maybe he just wants to win against her once.”

“She should just let him win.” Bok Joo said, shaking her head with a smile on her face as she watched the couple line up their shot and beer glasses. 

“Seon Ok would never do that.” Nan Hee said, as she grabbed the soju and beer bottles from the fridge and placed it on the table. 

Tae Kwon looked up from pouring soju into the shot glasses, as the two women came to their table. “By the way, when is Jung Joon Hyung coming? He’s going to miss watching me beat Seon Ok.” 

“Yah!” Seon Ok and Nan Hee yelled in unison, both turning to look at Bok Joo. 

“It’s ok, girls.” Bok Joo pushed a smile onto her face, and turned to Tae Kwon, “His flight is delayed, so he probably won’t be here until tomorrow.” 

“Ah, sorry.” Tae Kwon rubbed his arm, after Seon Ok had hit him. “I’m sure he’ll be here as soon as he can be.”

“Yah, yah, yah, let’s just start this competition.” Seon Ok said, pushing her boyfriend towards the drinks.

“Ok! Let’s start.” Tae Kwon said, in his usual hyper tone. “Nan Hee, you count down.”

As Nan Hee counted down, Bok Joo couldn’t help but get caught up in the fun of watching the couple competing against each other. She cheered at the top of her lungs with Nan Hee as Seon Ok moved onto her 2nd drink, while Tae Kwon was still on his first drink. Her stomach hurt from laughing so hard when Seon Ok finished her last drink and started doing her victory dance around her boyfriend. Even though he had lost, Tae Kwon looked like he was having the time of his life, as he watched his girlfriend dance around him with a smug smile. 

Once Seon Ok had settled down, she wrapped her arm around Tae Kwon’s shoulder, and said, “Face it, you can’t beat any of us three at drinking.” 

“Ok, ok, I accept that. You three are the queens of drinking, and I will never get to your level.” Tae Kwon jokingly bows down to them. 

The three girls looked at each other with smug smiles. “Swag,” they chorused, making their signature arm movement as they said it. 

After a while of chatting with her friends, Bok Joo saw her dad wave her over. She excused herself and walked over to him. “Bok Joo-yah, can you go outside and get the present I left in the motorbike compartment?”

Bok Joo raised her eyebrows, “What present did you get?”

“It’s a surprise, please get it for me. I need to look after your uncle, otherwise he will burn everything.”

“I heard that. I’m a better cook than you, hyung.”

Bok Joo’s dad rolled his eyes, “According to who?”

“My girlfriend,” Dae Ho smiled, with a lovestruck expression on his face. Bok Joo shared a look with her dad, both cringing from her uncle’s expression. 

“I’m going now.” Bok Joo grabbed a jacket from the hook, and made her way to the front door. 

She stopped outside the door, pulling the jacket closer to her body. The snow crunched under her shoes, as she made her way to where the motorbike was parked. As she opened the compartment at the back of the bike, she felt arms around her waist, causing her to jump and elbow her attacker.

“Oof, yah, it’s just me.” Bok Joo whipped around to see Joon Hyung hunched over, clutching his stomach. 

She stared at him in shock. “Yah, you said you won’t be here until tomorrow.” 

Joon Hyung stood up slowly, as he recovered from the pain of being elbowed by his weightlifter wife,  a bright smile gracing his lips as he took in her appearance. 

“I wanted to surprise you.” Joon Hyung wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to his chest. He nuzzled into her neck, taking a deep breath as he said, “I missed you.”

Bok Joo smiled, deciding to let go of her annoyance and bask in the moment of being with her husband. “Me too. But you should know better than to scare me like that.”

Joon Hyung pulled away slightly, to look at Bok Joo with a sheepish expression. “Sorry. I must have lost my mind because of the jet lag and hunger.”

Bok Joo giggled, shaking her head. “That’s ok. Let’s go inside and get you some food.”

Bok Joo pulled away from him, and grabbed his gloved hand. As she pulled him towards the door, he couldn’t help himself from saying, “I love you.”

“You should be glad that I love you, otherwise I would have killed you for surprising me like that.”

The two of them dusted the snow off of their jackets, and hung them on the hook, before entering the restaurant. As soon as everyone noticed Joon Hyung trailing behind Bok Joo, they all yelled out in surprise, and rushed to greet and hug him. Bok Joo stood next to him as he hugged each of his family and she couldn’t help but feel like her family was finally complete. A warm feeling settled in her stomach as she watched him carry his niece for the first time, her tiny body completely enveloped his long arms. He would be such a good father, she thought to herself, as she saw the adoration in his eyes when he looked at the child in his arms. Next were their friends, and she laughed as Tae Kwon teasingly punched Joon Hyung for not telling him about his surprise. But her laughter stopped as soon as her friends decided to tease her about how “devastated” she was that Joon Hyung wasn’t going to be there for Christmas.

“Yah, what are you saying? I wasn’t devastated.” Bok Joo defended herself, “I was just a bit sad.”

“But you’re happy now, right, Chubs?” Joon Hyung asked, with a teasing smile on his face.

Bok Joo glared at him, playfully, “no, not at all.”

Before he could make another comment, Bok Joo’s dad interrupted, “Ok everyone sit down, the food is ready.”

Everyone took their seat, and looked in awe at the food the Kim brothers were bringing out, and as soon as everything was set, they all dug into the food.The sounds of laughter and chopsticks hitting against plates filled the restaurant, as everyone caught up with each other, and reminisced about past memories. By the time the plates were cleared, everyone was blissfully full and some were even bordering on drunk. Bok Joo rested her head on Joon Hyung’s shoulder as Nan Hee interrogated Seok Ok and Tae Kwon about their relationship, which they had kept a secret from the rest of the group until a few months ago.

 “Did you know about their relationship, Joon Hyung?”

Bok Joo raised her head slightly to look at Joon Hyung, raising her eyebrow at him. He better not have known and kept it from her.

“I didn’t know, I swear.” 

Bok Joo narrowed her eyes, as she looked for any sign that he was lying. When she was satisfied, she put her head back on his shoulder, and wrapped her arm around his. Joon Hyung held her hand, interlocking their fingers, as Nan Hee turned back to their traitorous friends. Though it wasn’t like Joon Hyung and Bok Joo could hold it against them, since they also kept their relationship a secret. But considering the crap their friends gave them when they found out about their relationship, Bok Joo felt like she should tease Seon Ok and Tae Kwon just as much as they teased her. 

“I thought that we agreed that we won’t keep our relationships a secret from each other, especially after what you said when you found out about my relationship.” Bok Joo sighed dramatically, winking at Nan Hee discreetly, who wholeheartedly joined in on Bok Joo’s teasing. 

 Bok Joo laughed at Seon Ok’s exasperated expression, and she could feel Joon Hyung laugh along with her. He turned his head slightly, to whisper, “Should we make them buy us food like they did to us? Let’s drain Tae Kwon’s bank account.” 

Bok Joo giggled and nodded, “They deserve it.”

Bok Joo looked up, and she felt her heart swell as she locked eyes with Joon Hyung. How he could still make her swoon like a high schooler, after they had been together for years, was a mystery to her. But, boy did she love that feeling: the feeling of home. Because that was what he was to her. Her home. And now that she was home, she didn’t want to leave.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Hari going after his s/o who initially runs away because they didn’t want to be a bother to him and get in the way of his job, but wind up getting kidnapped by some villains and beaten. Hari has to find his love and protect and save them! :3

"You mean you let them leave just like that and with this-this-" Hari angrily took off the note out of his hoodie and almost shove it into the guard's face. "This fUCKING BULLSHIT?!"

"I-I-"

"Chrono. Sit down." Overhaul's nonchalantly spoke as Hari could only take one breath in and out before sitting on the couch, clenching the letter on his grip as a form to discount all he had been feeling.

By god up above, you were NEVER a bother to him! Why did you have to leave dammit?! His job was demanding, sure, but he thought things were good! Weren't they..? He had been trying so hard to take as many breaks as he could to not make you feel that way.

But Chisaki had been requesting his help with the girl too much... too much to the point he couldn't even spend quality time with you like he promise he would.

Now, him and Kai were discussing the problem right after that he had barged on Chisaki's office, almost begging him for help... but as always, the bastard remained that stoic face and did things calmly.

Suddenly the phone started to ring it and for a miracle Chisaki was the one to answer it. He remained with the same expression before changing a look at Hari, who for some reason didn't like it one bit.

"They got your partner Chrono." His blood ram cold at hearing's his friend words.

"What..?" He breathed out, standing up abruptly.

"No, I don't think I will get on a agreement. Is not any useful this anyway." He spoke numbly and Kurono felt a vein of his almost popping out.

"Overhaul!" He shouted ass Kai hang up the phone with an annoyed sigh. "What the hell?!"

"Those are some enemies of ours. We have to be careful or else is the end for the Hassaikai." He spoke on a manner of fact tone of voice, looking up at the man he interlocked his fingers together. "Your partner maybe get hurt bit they will leave, Mimic is probably-"

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" The man slammed his hands on Kai's desk, scaring the poor newbie as Kai glared daggers at him.

"Back. Off. From my table, Chrono." He growled th words as Kurono gritted his teeth.

"Listen here you spoiled son of a bastard. I deal with your shit ALL day. I've been your friend for years. I am loyal to the Hassaikai ever since I joined in. I accepted helping you on that plan with the master's granddaughter, but when i need a fucking break or aome help to save the person I love YOU DONT EVEN LIFT A DAMN FINGER?!" He shouted as Kai blinked in amisement at Kurono's outburst.

".. I knew it. This all relationship thing is getting conteol over your emotions." He furrowed his eyebrows in anger and disgust at Hati, who only laughed sarcastically before flipping him off for the first time in many years.

"You wanna know what? This is part of your fault KAI." He used the name Chisaki had abandonent, knwing that this would get to him, especially when he took off his glives while lifying up from his chair in anger. "I dont have time for this. Deal with my disrespect later you fucking traitor." He cursed under his breath before storming out of the room.

"If (Y/n) get hurt I will mever forgive myself for it!" He talked kore to himself as he searched for Irinaka as fast as he could.

~

"Your boss doesn't seem much found of you." The main head of the gang spoke on a mocking tone as he had a knife on your throat.

You couldn't care less... all that had been passing through your head was Kurono.. the man you loved so much to the point of abandoned him because of his work, how much he was loyal to the Shie Hassaikai... you couldn't just get in his way... especially when you were just a, what Overhaul would say, distraction...

"I wonder what would happen if... had a little fun?" The man spoke wickedly as you scoffed at him.

"Fuck off."

"Oh! A feisty one!" Another voice spoke from behind you before you flinched at those two hands grabbing your shoulders "I like that!"

Before you even could think of asking for help, a gunshoot was hearf by all of the members. You quickly covered your ears and kneenes on the floor before you saw a familiar white arrow cut one of the guys arms.

"Hari..!" you said almost in a whisper and the said saviour jumped from the roof, shootonh everyone with a cold face. One man tried to grab him from behind but Kurono merely lifted his fist up, punching the man from behind by one motion before he looked over his shoulder at the man and tsked in disgust before shooting him merciless.

A man grabbed you and aimed a gun at your head, tremblingly as Chrono stopped on his tracks.

"You're Overhaul's right hand man?! Back the fuck off before I shoot them!"

Chrono merely lifted his chin up with a face of disgust, the action being sexy as hell for you to handle it, before he spoke again.

"Three seconds. Three seconds for you to back off before I do something that you will sirely regret." Hee lifted his hand up, holding three of his fingers. "One."

"Hari!" You whined at feeling the gun being pressed on your temple harder.

"Two.."

"Fuck off dude! Im not jo-" in one quick movement, Hari cut his face with his hair before running after you and holding you close to his chest.

"Three." He growled before he covered your eyes and ahoot the guy more then necessary...

After the loud sounds were done you whimpered his name as he let go of the gun to cup your cheeks.

"Never leave again." He sighed as he touched forehead with you "God I thought I lost you for real (Y/n)..."

"Im so sorry!" You cried, holding his hands as you looked at him "I-I just didn't want to stay in y-your way a-and-" you sobbed as Haro shook his head several times as he cupped your cheek, carresing it with his thumb.

"How can you get in my way if you are my life already dummy?" He asked in a breathless laugh as he peppered your face in kisses.

You giggled at the gesture before freezing at hearing a 'click' and Kurono got tense, immediately craddling you pn his chest and arms.

"Ha..ha!" The bloddied man aimed right at you "The Shie Hassaikai has always been a PAIN on MY ASS!" He laughed maniacly as Kurono cleched his jaw. "Now! Would you look at that! Im about to kill one of the most precious members and their lover! How cute!"

Although when the man put his finger on trigger. the rest of his body exploded almost everywhere in that shed while Kai, with a face of disgust and an outstretched naked hand, stood behind the huddle of what was once a man.

"Chisaki?" He said almost in disbelief as he relaxed his grip on you.

"The things you said back there are still on my mind, just for you know block head." He said nonchantly as he put his glove back on. "We needed to solve this problem with calm and extrategy despite the dangers of it. You were never a pacience one though." He growled as Kurono looked at him and smirked.

"Thanks. Chisaki."

"Don't call me that." He growled and turned around, walking out of that place "You're on cleaning duty tommory... son of a bitch." He laughed at his comment before je called your name at the door frame.

"I'm relieved you're okay." He said uncharacteristically soft as he mad ehis way out and your eyes widened.

"So he doesn't hate me then?" You said almost in disbelief as Hati snorted, still hugging you.

"Guess he is just jealous that i got a beauty liek yourself."

You two walked out of that place, Hari never letting go of you for once.

Version of pregnant S/o:

"Uh... Hari?"

"Hm?"

"You read the whole letter?" You asked almost in embarrassment as he mad w a more less signal with his hand. "Then... you know why I have been feeling nauseaus this past few days?"

"Uh. No, actually we should really ho see a doctor and-" he let out a confused noise as you stopped and brought his hand to rest on your belly as you looked up at him with shiny eyes.

"It won't be necessary... daddy." You giggled at his confusion before a few seconds his eyes widened as he looked down at your belly then back at you several times.

"Oh fuck.." he said breathless before starting ti laugh "Oh fuck!" He scooped you up, hand son your waist as he kissed your lips fervently "HOLY SHIT IM A DAD?!"

"Yep!" You giggled as he kissed you more while holding you up before looking at the direction Overhaul left.

"YO! KAI! YOU'RE AN UNCLE NOW! For the second time..."

You laughed as you heard Kai on distance shouting to your boyfriend to "fuck off".

[iloveseung-gi]

The Legend of the Blue Sea:

I FINALLY GET TO SEE THIS!!

I’ve heard so much about this series, but no one had it available, until now, on Viki. I love Lee Min-Ho! I’m watching episode 0 (?) which is a synopsis (?) of the series. I think that is what it is. Hopefully it won’t ruin the story for me.

05/12/2021: OK, this series is starting out much different than I expected. 15 min into the first episode, I am in love with Min-Ho’s character. And to my surprise, Lee Hee-Joon and Sung Dong-Il are in it. AND Min-Ho speaks ENGLISH!! ENGLISH!! He sounds soooooo cute🥰 and he speaks English very well. (Why am I so surprised?? He does everything well!) I loved the homage to Bruce Lee (🙏 Thank you) - this actress, Jun Ji-Hyun, is too cute herself 🥰. ***I am forcing myself to turn off this program so I can work in 4 hrs. - it’s 2:30 in the morning. I’m loving this series so much it’s hard to let go… 💤����

🥱 05/13/2021: I literally laugh out loud at Min-Ho’s cocky ass character. The characters I’ve seen him play have been serious, responsible, manly man roles (swords; hand to hand battles), but this character is just.....fun. Other than the swindling, I feel that this is probably Min-Ho’s true nature - no acting necessary. I am truly enjoying seeing him in a different light. Now I totally know why people vote this series as their #1 favorite Min-Ho series!!

05/13/2021: Awesome! Kudos for the homage to “The Grudge” (episode 5)- now I have the heebie jeebies!

05/29/2021: The youngest of the swindling trio is played by Shin Won-Ho who is absolutely adorable. I love the angry looks he gives MinHo’s character when MinHo makes comments about being with the mermaid - WonHo is so cute, he looks like an angry kitten, totally harmless. Earlier in the series MinHo’s character thought the mermaid was liking and seeing another guy, so he was putting this guy down - he’s a loser and a user and he lies and he’s cheap, etc., but she, of course, was talking about the things he had done for her. In this episode (11) he just figured it out and was, at first, angry and embarrassed, but he quickly realized she liked him, no one else. The story is really starting to take shape. Joon-Jae is having dreams of a previous life and he has begun to hear Shim Cheong’s true, inner voice. He’s also beginning to remember the memories she had taken away. And He’s had just mere misses of seeing his mother who works in the home of the girl that’s chasing after him. We also just found out his stepmother is a “Black Widow” (she kills her husbands and Joon-Jae’s dad is next.) It’s getting interesting!

LATER SAME DAY: episode 11 is really funny. Now that Joon-Jae can hear her thoughts, it’s making him batty...lol. She is very naive and questions every thing in her thoughts, coming up with some funny ideas and explanations. He totally hears it all and on several occasions he almost gives it away that he was hearing her (hearing her means he has fallen in love with her).

Updated 06/04/2021: So with all of the action and faster paced series I’ve been watching, I kinda lost sight of this series. Well tonight I am back. And since Joon-Jae can hear Shim Cheong’s inner thoughts, it’s becoming super funny. The scene I just saw was Joon-Jae telling Cheong ‘not to think about anything, get lots of rest…. I’m begging 🙏 you’! (He can’t sleep 😴 for hearing her and she worries all night. 😂) Joon-Jae got hypnotised and discovered how he and Cheong dies in their past lives. They were murdered by Ma Dae-Young. Ma Dae-Young has been causing havoc because he, too, is dreaming of his past life. Knowing mermaids are real, he has actually kidnapped Cheong, but before he could get her in water, she frightened him away. She told him “if you know mermaids are real, then you must know what happens when a human touches a mermaid ���.

LATER: I am on episode 18 and it is a tearjerker 😭. Joon-Jae was a little too late, so his father died. The “Black Widow” gave her husband a tea made with the purple petals of the “Stepmother’s Curse” flowers. Once it’s ingested, the victim has a heart attack, so it is deemed a death by natural causes. And the murderer goes on his or her merry way. MinHo did an exceptional job of showing how devastated he was…..I cried with him 😭.

06/05/2021 UPDATE: Well, the story has come to an end, and it ended really, really well. The stepmother and her son was finally proven to be guilty of the murder of Joon-Jae’s father. but as the arrests were being done, the stepbrother was able to get an officer’s gun and he shot at Joon-Jae, but Cheong jumped in the way and was hit in the back by the bullet. Given her extraordinary powers of healing she was able to get over the surgery very quickly. But her heart was starting to hurt and she knew she had to go back to the sea. She wiped the memories of everybody that she was associated with and for three years was gone, but she finally returned and to her shock Joon-Jae remembered her. During their time together he was writing a journal of events of the days and to not forget her he was reading the journal which was helping him keep the memories.

The three con artists actually begin to work legitimate jobs. Joon-Jae becomes a prosecutor. He buys a house next to the sea and requests that he be assigned the job in that area. He and Cheong are together and at the end it even shows her pregnant. It was the perfect ending 👏.

[bangwoolofbangtan]

How BTS and Its ARMY Could Change the Music Industry

By Rebecca Davis

It was just a year ago that BTS’ Love Yourself: Speak Yourself tour was selling out stadiums all over the world. Each night of the 20-date trek, which grossed $116 million, a total of nearly a million ticket buyers around the planet witnessed a thumping opening liturgy at the top of the K-pop band’s set in the form of the song “Dionysus.”

As flames shot up from the stage, seven figures emerged in supplicant white amid Greek columns and a long altar. Rapper RM (full name: Kim Nam-joon) led the way, twirling the staff of the titular mythical deity, as group mates Jin (Kim Seok-jin), SUGA (Min Yoon-gi), j-hope (Jung Ho-seok), Jimin (Park Ji-min), V (Kim Tae-hyung) and Jung Kook (Jeon Jung-kook) flanked him in a display of choreographed precision. The crowd, reaching peak pandemonium in a night full of deafening screams, made willing maenads and satyrs, transported by the band’s presence. An anthem about rebirth and self-discovery through the ecstatic collective experience of music was received as intended — as if from the gods.

Idol worship is by no means a new concept in pop music — remember John Lennon’s provocative statement in 1966 that the Beatles were “more popular than Jesus”? — but there’s something about BTS that turns fandom up to 11. The global brigade of BTS acolytes is collectively known by the acronym ARMY, short for Adorable Representative MC for Youth, a moniker chosen by Big Hit Entertainment, the company that launched the band. ARMY comprises the lion’s share of a Twitter audience that’s 29.2 million followers strong, more than triple that of any other K-pop group, and growing daily. BTS’ Instagram presence of 30.6 million followers (also rising rapidly), is trailed closely only by YG Entertainment’s Blackpink, at 29.3 million.

“It is because ARMY exists that we exist,” Jin says.

To understand the scope of BTS Inc.: An influential 2018 study by the Hyundai Research Institute estimated that the ripple effects from the boy band’s ecosystem contribute roughly $4.9 billion annually to South Korea’s GDP, on track to generate more value over 10 years than the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. The study gauged that in 2017, one in 13 visitors to the country came for BTS-related pilgrimages. That ratio may soon be growing. Spotify has reported a 300% spike in new listeners to the group since the Aug. 21 release of “Dynamite,” BTS’ first all-English single.

The BTS boom has also driven Big Hit to launch an IPO in October projected to raise some $811 million. (Each BTS member will be awarded shares worth approximately $8 million.) Of Big Hit’s revenue in 2019, 97.4% was generated by BTS, including $130 million worth of T-shirts, cosmetics, dolls and other merchandise.

The numbers are no accident. The South Korean government began investing strategically in the arts and the digital economy to help steer the country out of the 1997 Asian financial crisis. On the heels of “Parasite” sweeping the Oscars, the worldwide success of BTS may be another sign to the West that Seoul might be the center of a new force in creative production.

Big Hit, and the K-pop music bus­iness in general, have proved just how much a band, and a company, can prosper through a direct-to-consumer relationship, driven by digital platforms and dedicated apps with lots of behind-the-scenes content that keeps fans emotionally involved. It’s engagement on a scale that no Western artist has ever achieved, despite decades of radio promotion and the best retail strategy.

For the global music industry, the band’s success has meant a serious rethink of how a record company — in BTS’ case, Sony Music’s Columbia Records, which distributes the group’s music in the U.S. (though the band is not signed to the label) — builds and maintains a fan base. You could almost look at it as a collaborative arrangement: As music is being made in real time, decision-makers and strategists at Big Hit and Columbia are taking in and processing the comments and views of ARMY and pivoting accordingly.

“It creates a self-sustaining engine that, eventually, becomes hits perpetuating more hits,” says Neil Jacobson, a former president of Geffen Records who runs Hallwood, a talent agency for producers and songwriters. “A label wants that fan connection happening all the time so that they can consistently release and promote music. But in the past, there had always been intermediaries that labels had to talk to in order to manifest exposure. Now, there is a mechanism for an artist to speak directly to their fans. That didn’t exist before, and it has turbocharged the process.”

It’s all led to this “Dynamite” mo­ment: The single has sold nearly 700,000 adjusted song units since its release — good for a gold record certification by the RIAA. The song is quickly becoming the band’s biggest radio hit to date (without a featured artist, it’s worth noting), and represents a significant breakout beyond its core audience. After that, will Grammys follow?

“They check all the boxes,” says Jenna Andrews, the vocal producer on “Dynamite” who also serves as an executive at Sony’s Records label. “I’ve never seen anything like BTS in terms of singing and dancing. This is just an indication of what’s yet to come. They’re going to take over the world.”

Kathryn Lofton, Yale University professor of religious and American studies and author of the book “Consuming Religion,” says that the bond BTS has with its ARMY is different from the typical singer-fan connection because “BTS’ driving commitment is to their relationship to the fan group, to the manufacturing of their communal joy for you to participate in.” It’s why she views BTS as “a religious project; they are seeking to make a togetherness that you can’t stop wanting to be a part of.”

Lofton also makes a point of distinguishing ARMY from the groupies associated with Beatlemania. Sure, BTS fans know the hagiography and backstory of each member, but everything about the band’s output prioritizes the collective over the individual.

The band itself has certainly leaned into the comparison with the Fab Four. For instance, it re-created the iconic moment of the Beatles’ 1964 debut at the Ed Sullivan Theater last May on “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” — in a black-and-white segment that showed the K-pop band performing as mop tops in tailored suits.

But while John, Paul, George and Ringo had spotlight moments of their own, both within and outside the band — songs they wrote individually, causes they took up personally — with BTS, it’s all for one all the time. Unlike many other groups, the members share single, collective Twitter and Instagram accounts, and release even solo material through their shared channel. Accomplishments are never spoken of as belonging to any one group member but rather as the work of the team (and, of course, ARMY). In their videos, they often begin in solo shots but end up together.

This all strays from the typical tropes of Western boy bands including New Edition and ’N Sync, which have all proffered “star” frontmen. The thinking for decades had been that a record company would be lucky to have one breakout solo career among the bunch.

But BTS’ selfless approach didn’t happen randomly: The group was envisioned as a collective to heal the alienation that ails us in the digital age. Its name — “BTS” stands for Beyond the Scene — is an invitation to fans to join them offstage via almost daily video content featuring moments in their intimate if immaculately curated private lives on YouTube, Twitter and Big Hit app Weverse.

In 2011, Big Hit’s revenues from its then-main acts, Lim Jeong-hee and boy band 2AM, were plummeting. As the shadow of bankruptcy loomed, Bang Si-hyuk, now chairman, and Lenzo Yoon, global CEO, felt the company needed a total revamp. They stopped all normal work for months and called on employees to perform market research instead, seeking a new vision and formula.

Bang describes the conclusion they reached in a recent Harvard Business School case study of the firm written by Anita Elberse and Lizzy Woodham: “You would think that with the development of digital technology, people can come together more easily, but we found that it is actually more likely that people will feel more isolated. And so we need to find a way to help them, inspire them and heal them.”

Reflecting on the choice to develop a group that satiated this need, Yoon says in the study: “I think back then in 2011, with the conclusions we drew, we found the wild ginseng, as we say in Korea.”

On “Dynamite,” Big Hit worked with Columbia to further cultivate that ginseng. Pitched by Jacobson to label chairman Ron Perry, who guided and essentially A&R’d the song, worked to radio by Columbia executive VP and head of promotion Peter Gray (who has broken hits for Dua Lipa, Kelly Clarkson and Kings of Leon), and all overseen and informed by the years of management savvy of Big Hit, it’s the kind of artist development that was a music business calling card and that has lost its place in the fast-paced world of digital releases.

Radio exposure is not considered as impactful in Korea as it is in the U.S., notes RM, and so BTS — “maybe naively” — didn’t hit the ground in the U.S. thinking, ‘What can boost our airplay?’” the last time around. Still, RM notes that the band has “100% trust” in Columbia, Big Hit and the greater BTS community. “ARMY and the label are all trying their best,” he says, recounting how in the band’s early days, fans would send bouquets to radio DJs to get their songs on the air.

“Our goal is to try to show ourselves, expose ourselves to ARMY as much as possible,” adds Jin. “There are a lot of platforms now.”

In some ways, BTS’ ARMY has grown into its own force and brought the group along for the ride. In the world of K-pop, the expectation is that entertainers stay far away from politics, but as the genre has grown more global, it has begun to reach a transnational cohort to whom matters of social justice are top of mind.

When Variety broke the news on June 6 that BTS and Big Hit had donated $1 million to Black Lives Matter, BTS fans quickly flocked to #Match­AMillion through a link sent out by the fan charity Twitter account @OneInAnARMY. They hit the financial target in just 25 hours.

Erika Overton, a 40-year-old Georgia resident and one of the co-founders of the account, says of the experience: “It was one of the craziest nights I’ve ever seen. I was on Twitter all night. We were refreshing the page every couple of minutes, going, ‘Oh, my God …’” Witnessing ARMY’s U.S. battalion bring the message of Black Lives Matter to fans in other parts of the world who were unfamiliar with the movement was a “big educational moment that was really, really beautiful to see,” says Overton, who is African American.

What Overton saw was facilitated by networks of fan translators who also turn Big Hit’s Korean content into dozens of languages. Other ARMY groups provide counseling or tutoring services, invent themed recipes or write informational threads on everything from the history of the music industry and how charts work to Jungian philosophy, which deeply informs the BTS albums.

Some fan accounts have even become registered nonprofits, with dozens of administrators spread around the world putting in nearly full-time work on top of their day jobs.

In addition to Black Lives Matter, BTS this year donated $1 million to Crew Nation, a Live Nation campaign to support live entertainment personnel impacted by the coronavirus pandemic. And it has continued its campaign with UNICEF to end child violence. But the band members are reticent to take on the role of global activists. “I don’t consider ourselves as political,” says Suga. “We aren’t trying to send out some grandiose message. We would never see ARMY as a conduit for our voice or our opinion. ARMY speaks their own initiatives, and we always respect their opinions, as we respect any other person’s.”

RM, on the other hand, keeps the door open for a kind of apolitical politics based more on actions than words: “We are not political figures, but as they say, everything is political eventually. Even a pebble can be political.”

The scale of its influence is not something that the group takes lightly. “Our [‘Dynamite’] video has seen 80 million, almost 90 million views in just a day. In a way, that’s very weighty — and almost frightening,” RM told Variety the day after its debut, explaining that the balancing act is often one of how to juggle the burdens of being both role models and artists.

Some Korean scholars feel that BTS’ statement in support of BLM shows how ARMY is actually out ahead of Big Hit, spontaneously enacting its own initiatives to which the company must then respond. “Big Hit thinks they can create a company-dominated [approach to] fandom, but fans are agents doing only what they want, not what they don’t want,” says ethnomusicologist Kim Jungwon of Yonsei University in Seoul. For Kim, the fluidity of ARMY’s unplanned, collective responses “is the possible answer to BTS’ success.”

Candace Epps-Robertson, an ARMY member and assistant professor of rhetoric at the University of North Carolina, says the affirmational content of the group’s lyrics and videos may sound simple, but lay the groundwork for millions of fans to learn to engage critically with each other and develop a transcultural sense of global citizenship. “The message of ‘you, yourself, are enough, and you should love who you are and start with that — I think people miss how radical that can actually be,” she says. “We can’t overlook the power of that as an invitation to people to be part of this community.”

The Grammys, where BTS is eligible for record of the year, among other categories (nomination ballots for the 2021 awards, slated to air Jan. 31, went out on Sept. 28), provide a chance for the group to gain industry recognition as a mainstream contender, not just a K-pop act.

Asked why the Grammys matter so much to them, Suga seems to bristle a bit at the question. “I grew up watching American award shows, so obviously we all know and I know the importance of the Grammys,” he says. “It’s a dream anyone working in music has.”

RM says having the goal of a Grammy, an industry-voted award, “motivates us to work harder. As Suga said, if you are in music, the Grammy Awards are something that you cannot help but to look toward and set as an eventual goal.”

BTS’ global influence will soon collide with national duty, and a Grammy Award or three could help maintain its momentum. The band members all have to participate in Korea’s mandatory military service by the age of 28 — and four of them are within two years of that threshold. “Big Hit really wants to target the Grammys before [the members] go into the army,” says an industry source privy to the company’s marketing plans, adding that, from Big Hit’s perspective, it would be best for business if the boys all perform their service at the same time.

The group renewed its contract with Big Hit in 2018, which commits the members to another seven years with the firm, but the army service issue could knock off two years within that time span. A company statement ahead of Big Hit’s IPO shows that Jin, the oldest group member (he’ll be 28 in December), must conscript by 2022 even if he gets an extension of the draft deadline. The statement discloses that plans to prerecord content to be released over the course of any army tenure are being discussed.

South Korea officially changed its rules in July to allow draftees access to once-banned cellphones on weeknights and weekends, meaning BTS could theoretically continue some interaction with fans. However, the taking of photos, video or audio recordings remains prohibited. (Historically, most Korean celebs have fallen silent during their service.)

Soldiering aside, with the push from Big Hit’s IPO, multiple TV appearances — including an ongoing weeklong takeover of “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” — the chart success of “Dynamite” and growing Grammy buzz, BTS is poised to make some serious noise this fall, which is saying a lot for a group known to shake the decibel scale with a wave or a wink. But perhaps the most significant measure of its ascent is underscored by the frequent speculation of the band’s place in a new moment for the music industry.

“What would it mean not just to include the sound of Korea in the annals of world music, but to actually propose that the South Korean sound is the next chapter?” posits Yale’s Lofton. “What if BTS are actually the next Beatles?”

©variety.com

[luckycheesefoodie321]

I have no recollection of this existing but here it is...straight from the cave that is my drafts...a review on You’re All Surrounded...

YALL...I GOT SOME SH*T TO SAY ABOUT THAT ENDING!!! AND THE SHOW OVERALL SO SPOILERS AND LONG POST

Ok first of all:

This DORKUS MCBEAN MR LEGENDARY DETECTIVE IDIOT BOX...came to the final fight with a FRIGGEN BB GUN AND A STRAW HAT!!!! Why were you in a straw hat Seo Pan Seok??? And a friggen B.B. gun??? The boi bursts in with his gotdang BB gun to a situation where the main baddie has his gun pointed right at Dae Gu’s head with Dae Gu yelling at main baddie to shoot bc he’s already live-streamed everything and main baddie was gonna go to jail anyway...but when asked about how and when he got there, this idiot box just makes a weird noncommittal “I dunno” sorta grunt and shrugs??? Dammit I love him but this idiot. Glad he’s enjoying life as a local police.

AND THEN:

(I legit can’t find any other gif of this dude but CREDITS TO THE OWNER)

CHA TAE HO CONTINUES TO PROVE HE’S THE BEST FRIGGEN CHARACTER:

The dude is loud and abrasive and aggressive and a n g e r y like all the time and believes Team 3 has such bad luck he tried to exorcise them with red beans...but when the Chief gets run over by a truck and he hears that it was attempted murder; does he bat a f*cking eye?!?! NO HE IMMEDIATELY STEPS TF UP WITH HIS BUSTED FOOT AND ALL AND OFFERS TO HELP THE INVESTIGATION AND SUPPORT TEAM 3 NO MATTER WHAT

Seriously what happened to Im Won Hee during filming that busted his toe??? They brushed it off as his superstitions regarding how bad luck the Criminal Investigations Department was

He sent off Pan Seok with a small charm baggy of red beans for luck. If that ain’t love idk what is

THEN OF COURSE THE MAIN ORDER OF THE DAY:

That scene. Those who’ve watched know what I’m talking about. It was so goddamn powerful and the acting delivery was actually incredible. Go Ara conveying every inch of Su Seon’s desperation as she struggles to get back to Dae Gu, declaring her love and demanding he stay alive. And then Lee Seung Gi, he didn’t say a friggen word but his facials and his body language all screamed with Dae Gu’s agony, watching the woman he loves be dragged away as she’s saying she loves him, and just desperately wanting to go to her but knowing he can’t bc he still has a job to finish. If Su Seon hadn’t been there, begging him to stay alive, who knows if he would have gone ahead with shooting himself, or actually allowed the main baddie to kill him...the look on his face when he was bargaining with the Assemblyman showed that he was prepared to follow through bc the footage was live-streaming anyhow, so even if he had died, he knew that Yoo Moon Bae would be caught...but seeing how desperate Su Seon was and hearing those words may have pushed him to see through the mission alive...it was a great scene. I think, despite more focus being on the mystery plot, the slowly growing admiration, affection and then romance between Su Seon and Dae Gu’s was nicely developed. Could’ve been better but the romance wasn’t the focus so I can forgive that. We got an incredible intense scene showcasing just how great their love has developed as compensation so I’m cool with that.

NOW TO COMMENT ON THE FRIGGEN SQUAD DYNAMICS:

I lovvvve me a good ensemble. Especially “reverse harem” types with the one girl and a bunch of dudes. (Though there were 2 other strong women figures but I’ll get to them in a bit). Su Seon wasn’t the main main character, so it’s not the typical reverse harem ensemble where it all revolves around the one girl, but that being said, I got a nice taste of it during the arc where Su Seon’s mom got attacked and all her boys stepped UP. Su Seon was in distress and all her boys were there to take down the problem no matter the cost or the opponent. This was during the period where Dae Gu’s affection and crush was levelling up to genuine romantic feelings too so even better. Best was when the mum called the boys her sons and subsequently ignored the fact that she had an actual son who never visited to check up on his mom??? But anyway, when they all just quietly watch over Su Seon while she cries in the dark, and get outraged just looking at the bruises on her mom’s face??? Ugh yes. And this is just where Su Seon was the focus. When Dae Gu got attacked and his true identity and past revealed and everyone was just doting on him and helping him without smothering him and then the same thing when Tae Il got stabbed and he told them about his brother and family. And the genuine camaraderie between them felt so natural, teasing Dae Gu about being the youngest among them, hanging out and eating ice cream together, and convincing Su Seon’s mom she lived with them, and drinking together, and helping Su Seon move out of her tent. Of course the two dads of the Rookie Squad can’t be forgotten, always there as guiding influences despite the rocky start. Detective Lee and Pan Seok unashamed to dish out the compliments on Su Seon’s looks. And Pan Seok’s reactions every time he saw Dae Gu and Su Seon kiss. Ughh yes squad was real and I loved it.

oh apparently I was gonna discuss the two women??? but it’s been too long sooo: one was a badass detective who was head of Missing Persons...but she was kinda defined by her relationship to Pan Seok looking back...but they did well in establishing her character...that said she got in the way of my boy Tae Il being the true queer I wished he was...but alas no...his brother was, and it brought about a really dark reflection on the reality of the lgbt+ community when they come out to their families...but then the brother dies???? I’m not down...what happened to his husband???

but anyway, the detective lady was great but not a main sooo...and I can’t remember the story as well now being quite a while since I watched the show...the other strong female figure was the captain (???) who was also a pseudo-antagonist...I liked that she was morally ambiguous and also a woman in power but lame she was still subject to the whims of some asshole male politician...but this leaned into the overall message of how women can be treated in the workforce, and society in general, and that’s what she had been fight for and had gotten lost along the way...

idk what else to say bc again this was a post from months ago soooo:

CHA TAE HO FOR THE WIN!!!

[gwynne-fics]

Pictures

walking

Rachel opened the door to Eun-Sang and Young-Do and tried not to laugh at their disappointment that she was not holding Hye-Rim. She obsessively went through their connections and was pleased to see that the one connecting the two of them was stronger than the last time she saw them, but incredibly sad to see the pain in Eun-Sang’s connection to her mother.

“Did something happen?” she asked while they removed their shoes. Young-Do kept his hand on Eun-Sang’s back as they walked into Rachel’s home.

“My mother wants to replace me,” Eun-Sang said bitterly. “I know she doesn’t like my rebellion right now but she’s being cruel.”

“It is not a rebellion to demand respect.” Rachel took her hand and led her over to the couch. “Eun-Sang, unless she’s willing to change her parenting, in twenty-five years, she will have the same problem all over again when your sibling fights against her control. And you are irreplaceable.”

Eun-Sang laid her head into Rachel’s lap and quietly cried while Rachel stroked her hair. She looked at Young-Do with concern and he sighed. He ran his hand over his mouth and looked troubled as well.

“Her mother is forcing her to be the president of the vaccine subsidiary. She forged Eun-Sang’s signature on the documents and gave her all of the shares. She is setting her up to fail.”

“We won’t let that happen.” Rachel made Eun-Sang lift her head so she could meet her eyes. “I promise you. We won’t let that happen. Why didn’t Kang Ji-Hyuk warn you? I’m going to call my mother.” She pulled out her cell phone and Mother answered on the first ring. She explained what had happened without accusing her boy toy of being useless. It was not easy. Mother was quiet for a few moments.

“I will look into this. I will give Eun-Sung Hee-Jin for a month until we find her someone suitable. I will have her text Eun-Sang her information by tonight.”

“You didn’t know?” Rachel felt more shocked about that then Mother relinquishing her beloved Hee-Jin.

“I can’t know everything, Rachel.” It was a tad defensive.

“I’m sorry. You just always know everything.”

“Hee-Nam has been tailing Ji-Hyuk this last week. I wouldn’t put it past her to test his loyalty. But as my relationship with Ji-Hyuk is more equal than it appears, I don’t have complete control over him. He told me Eun-Sang’s lesson today went well. That is all I cared about at the time.” Rachel could tell Mother was clenching her jaw. It never occurred to her that Mother might be emotionally attached to Kang Ji-Hyuk and that this news could hurt her.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I thought your true love was Yoon Jae-Ho.”

“I don’t believe in true love. I will come by tomorrow to visit Hye-Rim.” She hung up and Rachel tried not to sigh. Young-Do just looked amused as Eun-Sang wiped her face.

“I think that’s the weirdest conversation we’ve ever had.” Rachel set her phone down and pulled out her handkerchief to help her sister clean her face.

“I want to believe that if he knew, Ji-Hyuk would’ve warned me today at the animal shelter. He had ample opportunity and he’s been supportive so far. If your mother is right and my mother is testing him then...then he must believe I can do this as well. He was my favorite guardian and I want to believe...I want to believe in somebody. There has been enough betrayal.”

“I agree,” Rachel said even though the look on Young-Do’s face said he wasn’t ruling it out. She caught him glowering and tilted her head at him. He tried to change the subject.

“Where is Hye-Rim?”

“With Hyo-Shin. They’ll be back soon. Bo-Na is giving him a crash course in his first job and she had something happen where she needed Hye-Rim to be cute around her. Hye-Rim wanted to go with her father. That’s normal.” Young-Do made another face and she chose to misinterpret it. “I know you’re just using my daughter to soothe your crankiness the way you did with me when we were children. Let her relax or you’ll wear her out.”

He flushed but didn’t argue with her. “Let’s go look at the backyard.”

“Wait,” Rachel said as a detail hit her. “You’re adopting a pet?” Young-Do and Eun-Sang exchanged a look that included a small smile. “You found an animal that doesn’t react to your aura?”

“Yes,” Young-Do said with a slight flush. “He’s a puppy. We can’t take him home yet because he’s too young. Eun-Sang practiced healing on him today. We’re going to call him Cerberus.”

“He ran right up to Young-Do and just wanted to be with him. It’s going to be a few weeks before we can bring him home. We’d like to see how he’ll do with Hye-Rim.”

Rachel wrinkled her nose but nodded. “I will talk to Hyo-Shin. I don’t know how he feels about animals. But if that puppy was excited to be around Young-Do, then it is a special puppy and you should get him.”

The three of them went outside and Rachel took a step back to watch her brother and his wife fall into talking about turning her backyard into a fairy garden for Hye-Rim. It was a delight to watch their connection as they shared something together that they both loved. Hyo-Shin and Hye-Rim returned while Eun-Sang made Young-Do pull out his tablet and began brainstorming.

Hyo-Shin put his arm around her waist and kissed her temple. Hye-Rim was dozing against his shoulder and Rachel smiled as she smoothed back her hair from her forehead. “She’s getting too big to carry.”

“I don’t mind. My back does, but I don’t.” That made Rachel smile and Hyo-Shin kissed her forehead again. She liked his tender affections. There had been more recently and she clung to them because he had started to lose his guilt and return to his past confidence. She laid her head against his shoulder when he started playing with the ends of her hair.

“They might get a puppy. Are you okay with Hye-Rim being around a puppy?”

“That might be good for her.” Rachel tried not to show her surprise that he agreed so easily. She thought he would forever naturally be at odds whatever Young-Do brought into their lives. “I thought animals didn’t like...people like him.”

“They normally don’t. They went to an animal shelter today for Eun-Sang’s training and found a puppy that liked him. He’s always wanted a dog so I’m happy for him. My mother doesn’t like animals.”

“What about you?”

“A daughter is enough work for me.” Hye-Rim heard her and lifted her head with a sleepy pout. “You can pout when you can walk and are potty trained, pretty Hye-Rim.” Her little girl just yawned and then looked over at Eun-Sang and Young-Do. She started making grabby hands at them and dove to the grass when Hyo-Shin didn’t move fast enough. He carefully got her to the ground and they expected her to crawl over to her aunt and uncle.

But instead, Hye-Rim pushed herself up on her feet, and with more dexterity than Rachel expected walked carefully over to Young-Do and Eun-Sang. Her brother and his wife were too enthralled in what they were doing to notice Hye-Rim until she tugged on Young-Do’s pants and plopped onto her bum with a giggle.

Rachel tried not to gape at her as Hyo-Shin had rushed to pull out his phone and record the moment. She held his free hand with tears in her eyes at the milestone they got to share together. Hye-Rim had been rolling over, scooting, and nearly crawling when he got out of prison.

Young-Do picked Hye-Rim up and she happily began punching his hand. Eun-Sang looked back at Rachel and tilted her head. “Did we just miss her walking for the first time?”

Rachel nodded and quickly wiped her eyes as she and Hyo-Shin crossed the yard to join them. Hye-Rim had a proud little grin on her face. “She’s been fighting me whenever I practice with her. She does like her secrets.”

“She likes being exceptional,” Hyo-Shim murmured as he poked their daughter’s cheek. “I was like that. I didn’t talk until I could be perfect at it. So I looked like I skipped steps sometimes. My mother loved to brag about it.” He kept his gaze focused on Hye-Rim and Rachel could tell he was uncomfortable sharing such personal information around Young-Do. She was glad he did though. She was proud of him for trying for her. “We love to brag about you.”

Hye-Rim gave an adorable, bashful grin before she covered her face with her hands.

“How is Bo-Na?” Young-Do asked after a few moments of just watching Hye-Rim be cute for them. “Rachel said she’s having a rough day.”

“She didn’t go into it in detail and I’m about to become her employee,” Hyo-Shin said as he took Hye-Rim from Young-Do. “But I think something happened with her birth mother and husband. She very angrily ate cheesecake at the café we went to.”

“I failed her,” Rachel said sadly. “Her mother was able to hide her connection from me. I assume she was able to fool our mother as well. And you know how Bo-Na can get some times.” Young-Do sighed and when he raised his eyebrows at Rachel, she nodded. “I think she would really appreciate a call from you.”

They had a nice evening together and Rachel tried not to get lost in watching Hyo-Shin socialize with her loved ones. She was proud of him and Young-Do for at least pretending to get along with no snide comments. Eun-Sang gave her a hug and kissed her cheek before they left.

“It will be easy to grow a garden here,” she said. “There is so much genuine love.”

Rachel kept that sentiment close as she and Hyo-Shin got ready for bed. She caught him staring hard in the direction of the nursery and laughed when he turned back to her with a determined expression.

“What is it?”

“I think she’s asleep. She can’t interrupt if she’s asleep.”

“Interrupt?”

“We haven’t had a lot of opportunities lately. I don’t want us to get out of the habit. I might also be worried what Cha Eun-Sang thinks when she looks at us. She’s stopped my heart before and I do not want to relive that experience. Besides, I think we’re getting better.”

Hyo-Shin took her hand and kissed her gently. Rachel laughed when he lifted his head a few moments later and listened for Hye-Rim’s giggles. When they didn’t come, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

“We are getting better.”

[specsnsarcasm]

The Affair - “402″

Watching "The Affair":

Cole

Oooooh! Tension! Something must have just gone down btw Noah and Cole. Tbc...

Can I just say how extremely happy it makes me that the kid from Noah's story (Anton) is on their “guy's trip” to find Alison? I'm way happier than I should be! Lol. I guess it's because it kind of means he's not being used as a prop in just one story, but is one of the gang?

It's a "Cole" episode! (Yay!)

Grandpa? Who tf is he calling "grandpa"? This dude looks like a straight-up villain from an 80's movie, and about 40 himself. Ppl in glass houses...

Omg, the scene with the police officer was so tense! I hate that some people get to use their privilege to get out of these types of situations. Cuz it sure as hell doesn’t work for everyone. 👀👀👀

Aw, Catalina is so cute and bashful when speaking Mandarin!

JJ is left handed (twinsies!)

So here's my problem with last season: EVERYTHING ended up in sex. PTSD/Depression? Sex. Drug addiction? Sex. A damn cold? Sure! Sex it on up! It led characters to end up in bed together again, which felt inauthentic and rather insulting. Look — I get that people have sex. (Couldn't be me, but I hear tell...lol). I get that it can be comforting. But not every scenario calls for it. Especially not the urgent 'I need you now', banging on the kitchen counter kind. Sometimes when people are feeling vulnerable or want to be close, non-sexual forms of intimacy are enough!

Oh, no. Cole, baby, don't do it! Don't get drunk and belligerent and make a scene.

*Phew* crisis averted.

You hate wearing a suit and tie? Awww, poor baby. (Grow the f^ck up!)

Oh, NO! He did NOT just say that to his wife. Boi! if you don't-

Luiza’s speech about the fear and helplessness of being undocumented is absolutely heartbreaking! And this is happening to so many people in the U.S. right now! Sadly, with the current... political climate (*SIGH*) it's only going to get worse. Immigration reform now.

Girl, I said the same thing about him whining about the tie. Tell him!

Holy sh*t! Is that guy on the beach just casually smoking crack? Cuz...

Aw, poor baby. You wanna be 20 and a free spirit, and smoke weed and drink beer on the beach, and f^ck that cute blonde chick and have no responsibilities? Too. fucking. bad. You have a wife. A kid. And a business. You are 40!!! I reiterate: GROW. THE FUCK. UP. (So help me, Pacey Cole! Do NOT make me dislike you!)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA they drew on his face! They robbed him too? Man, those guys are dicks! The way they were talking, they’ll probably jack his rare surfbordt too! 

(Rubbing alcohol to remove permanent marker, dude! Not soap and water!)

I’m glad they’re laughing about gun violence. HA. HA. HA. Wouldn’t it be wild if she accidentally shot him rn? Cuz lulz, amIright? (What was he really going to do tho, I ask you!?)

It irritates me that both Noah AND Cole's version of Alison is a flighty, spacey, hippy chick, decorating the scene (like a manic pixie dream girl). She carries profound sadness, depth and has her own life. This illustrates how men often don't see women as complex, independently-motivated beings.

Alison

Oooooh! He touched her shoulder! (*tee hee*)

Yo! Dude got his head smashed tf in! Wasn’t that a little excessive? I mean- sure, he's a creep, but the guy lost his kid and is suffering from PTSD.

Great. Is Alison going to fall in love with her "saviour" now?

Wait- how did the guy get in, anyway? I thought the husband locked the door?

What did Alison’s patient hope to achieve by telling her husband what Alison said, if she had no intention of leaving him? And then she has the nerve to look all wounded at Alison as though she’s betrayed her trust!??!? Girlfriend just got choked tf out! Your husband is going through some things but at some point, you have to be real!  

Ben seems pretty healthy, mature and stable. Or at least trying (pretty cute too).

Cole, Noah, and this new guy? Alison? lol. Okay. 👀👀. Meanwhile, me: over here, single AF!

The way Jodie said “yes” to leaving the car light on reminds me of that fire-starting girl.

Dang, Ben Cruz! The way he asked her out was really smooth! Points! (Although, Skype? Really?)

Thoughts:

It’s interesting that in Cole’s version of events, the “kids” from the beach made him look like an old man when they drew on his face, whereas in Alison’s version, it was dicks and glasses and whiskers or whatever. It emphasizes that the “grandpa” comment and Cole's fears about getting older, and not wanting to become part of the establishment, are what resonated most with him. Also, it’s *really* cool that they took the time to make two different versions of the face marker. The show does this quite a bit. Attention to detail is what makes it so good!

Next week preview: Oh no! Dr. Vik seems really sick! Like... the kind of sick you don’t get better from. HO-BOY! 

[solified-chanyeol-lover]

Missing 9 - by Solifiedjaporeanist21

Rating: Mature

Main Members: Lee Yeol (Chanyeol EXO) x (Y/N) (Reader/You)

Pairings: Lee Yeol (Chanyeol) x Reader (You), Seo Joon Oh (Jung Kyung Ho) x Ra Bong Hee (Baek Jin Hee), Choi Tae Ho (Choi Tae Joon) x Ha Ji Ah (Lee Sun Bin)

Words: 3,886

Warnings: Character Death, Language, Heavy Angst, Explicit Death Scenes, Plot Twists.

Summary: Based on the TV show Missing Nine. Yet instead of nine survivors there are ten. I truthfully did not enjoy the ending so this is my take on how it should have gone.

(A/N): This is my version of the show and how the reader (you) would react to the tense situation of the plane crash. In this they will remain on the island longer than four months.

This idea is mine completely, though the plot belongs to the original writers so credit rightfully goes to them.

However I do focus in the reader and Yeol's POV but eventually I will switch to the others if needed. Mainly on Ra Bong Hee since she tells what happened on the island.

Main Survivors:

(Y/N) (Age 20): Youngest of the group. Yeol's girlfriend and co-composer. Among all only the Dreamers know of (Y/N) and Yeol's relationship. Holds a shocking secret. (Will be revealed in chapter 4).

Lee Yeol (Age 23): Former member of Dreamers. Solo-artist and song writer. (Y/N)'s protective boyfriend.

Joon Oh (Age 28): Leader of Dreamers. Leader of the survivors. Ra Bong Hee's love interest.

Ra Bong Hee (Age 26): Witness. Only survivor. Joon Oh's stylist and love Interest.

Choi Tae Ho (Age 27): Former member of Dreamers. Notable actor. Carries a conservative nature. Ha Ji Ah's boyfriend.

Ha Ji Ah (Age 26): Rising actor. Choi Tae Ho's girlfriend. Close friend of Lee Yeol and (Y/N).

Hwang Jae Gook (Age 27): President of Legend Entertainment.

Jung Ki Joon (Age 39): Joon Oh's loyal manager. Only one that knows of Ji Ah's condition.

Tae Hang Ho (Age 36): Jae Gook's secretary. Head of Legend Entertainment.

Yoon So Hee (Age 25): Top actress.

…

I stirred awake, furrowing my brows in pain, feeling a massive tightness around my lungs that grew threatening. I opened my eyes to figure out why, only to be surrounded by dark blue horizons. Immediately I gasp, feeling myself choking on the water that entered my mouth. I hissed, closing it soon after to save what little breath I had left.

Frantically I swayed my arms up, kicking my feet to reach the light of the surface above my head, but as I grew near the liquid in my chest felt as though it was weighting me down, Before I hadn’t realized how far away from the surface I was.

In the end I kept swimming in hopes of survival, but as my oxygen begin to deplete so did my vision. Clearly my body was losing its energy to move and I grasp above me with what strength I had left, longing for the air that seemed so far away.

Misfortune was on my side however as my consciousness begins to fade at a rapid pace and I start to see the darkness. ‘No, no I can’t die, not now, not with him…’ Painful thoughts roam my brain and as much as I wanted to rid of them, couldn’t. Gradually I begun to sink, my body growing limp from exhaustion. I choked on the water, grabbing ahold of my neck in one last ditch effort of salvation. A silent scream escaping my lips at the thought of my demise.

Its quiet for a what felt like a eternity before I finally hear it. “(Y/N)!” Someone was calling my name, the water beneath their feet splashing as they frantically run through the heavy water towards me. However, when there is no sign of the alledged person I think that maybe I’m hallucinating.

I cough in agony, my eyes growing heavy and tired. I really only wanted to close them for a second, though a second ended up two, then three, then four. Eventually withstanding was futile and I fell still, my last breath finally leaving my body. When all seemed lost a hand grabs mine, pulling me up into their arms, as they hurriedly rush to the surface.

My ears rang when I finally got out of the water, the dim light of sky outside my eyelids bright. Land envelopes my back, my savior hastily rushing to wake me out of my state, to rid of all the water in my lungs. And as much as I wanted to say something, knew I couldn’t. My throat just felt so dry and constricted. It was as though I was half asleep. I could hear and feel almost everything though my body was numb. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, I felt lifeless. And maybe I was.

Essentially my hearing returns and I pick up the groggling sound of my rescuer. It was faded and hollow but I could still make out what they were saying. “C'mon (Y/N), wake up…” There’s tears in their voice, I notice. They sounded just as scared as I was. “Don’t die on me, please wake up!” I swore that I’ve heard this voice before.

The pressure subdues as I felt their lips on mine, filling my lungs with lost air. Only then do I begin to feel my forgotten strength returning. I tried to gasp, to breathe in the air but the water that I swallowed was clogging what I tried to get in. After a couple more tries I finally managed, coughing up the liquid. Turning on my side, I spit up the water, gagging violently as it came up, the burn scorching my throat.

Regaining my sanity I looked up towards the voice that cries my name, easily recognizing it now. “(Y/N), are you okay. Talk to me baby, please.” I met the eyes of my beloved, my voice broken as I muttered his name. “Yeol.”

Instinctively my boyfriend pulls me into his embrace, letting out a sigh of graditude. “Don’t scare me like that Jagiya, I thought I lost you.” I returned his gesture, my heart warming at his words. When he pulls away I get a good look of him, furrowing my brows. “Baby your face, you’re so beaten up.” I pointed out horrid, gingerly cupping his cheek in my shaken palms. Yeol circles my hand with his own, guiding me up from the cold ground.

My boyfriend hisses when i lean on his side, and only now do i realize just how fucked up he really was. Yeol grips his left arm in pain, explaining that he was fine. I shake my head at his protest. “No, you’re not, your arm is most likely broken.”

Yeol rests his hands on my shoulders and i knew if i wasnt as short as i was he’d most possibly be hurting from it. “I’m fine really, I’m far more concerned about you.” I sighed. “What am i going to do about you? You’re bleeding and broken yet you’re worried about me?” Yeol nods and i cant help but gawk in his cuteness. “Well if i were to be honest ive been better, however physical wise I’m alright.”

“That’s a relief, i never felt so scared in my life, i thought i lost you.”

I look around us weary. “You think we were the only ones that survived?” I wasn’t too enthused about the subject but i could rightly deny it either.

Yeol grabs my hand, “Let’s go find out then, Jagiya?” Though surprised by his sudden rush of energy i merely nodded, following behind him.

Flashback: On the plane.

“Wow, this is nice. You got it made, baby.” Yeol chuckles at my amazement, watching as I turn in circles to capture every inch of the plane. “It sure is, isn’t, President Hwang sure went all out for this. And what do you mean I have it made, you’re just as important as me. You’re my personal co-composer, half the lyrics of my songs are yours too, you know?” I grabbed my boyfriends arm, “I know, but still I don’t sing or anything like you do. You’re far more talented.”

Yeol pulls me forward, into his arms, his lips far too close for comfort. I feel my heart beat speed up. “What are you talking about, you too are talented, but only I’m allowed to see just how.” I gasped in shock, pushing him away. “Shhhh! Yeol, there are people who can hear you.” I cover my face with my hands, embarrassed at the comment.

“Its nothing to be embarrassed about, Jagiya.” My boyfriend murmurs. Walking back over to me. Lightly he pushes me back, my bosy hitting something. I look only to find out it wasn’t a wall like i assumed but the bathroom counter. Without hesitation Yeol lifts me up on it, placing himself between my spread legs. “We shouldn’t be doing this, baby, someone could find us.”

He holds me against his chest, tracing his fingertips down my spine, forcing sparks of excitement throughout my body. “I doubt it, everyone is doing their own business, besides this might be the last time I can hold you like this. You know when we land we have to go back to a professional relationship.”

I wrinkle my nose in distaste, wrapping my arms around his waist, my head on his chest. “I wish we didn’t have to. I love you Yeol, I love you so so much and I hate not being able to express it outside the studio. I want more than anything to be boyfriend and girlfriend, not boss and co worker.” I let out a shuttering breath, listening to the steady breathing of my boyfriend.

Yeol rests his chin atop of my head. “Don’t worry (Y/N), I’ll make it up to you I promise. One day we won’t have to be so secretive about our relationship.”

I smile. “You better, I work my ass off to please you, whether it be sex or composing.” I paused meeting his eyes. “Of course not that I mind.” Yeol grins, running his thumb across my cheek before he places his lips on mine. I giggled, acknowledging his endearment, kissing him back, my arms around his neck.

Yeol helps me down from the counter once our kiss ends, my mind hazy and clouded with pleasure. “C'mon (Y/N), lets go see what everyone else is doing.”

I nod too speechless to even make words.

“Let’s have a toast, everyone, to celebrate this wondrous occasion.” President Hwang announces, holding up a bottle of wine.

Standing next to my boyfriend I noticed that Joon Oh wasn’t around. “Where’s Joon Oh?” I asked, tugging on my boyfriends sleeve. “Um…” He looks around, “I don’t know, must be with Bong Hee.”

“Ji Ah I found this bittersweet recipe and I instantly thought of you,” Ji Ah just laughs, accepting it. “Just a little, please.”

“(Y/N), how about you?” I look over, eyes wide. I nervously chuckle. “Uh…no thank you, water will be fine with me, thanks.” I say holding up my glass. President Hwang notices my discomfort, but says nothing regarding it. Thankfully. Luckily Joon Oh comes in, knocking the awkwardness of the situation over to him.

“Hyung!” Yeol greets, waving him over. Joon Oh just throws a nod standing himself right next to my boyfriend. “Where have you been?” Joon Oh begins to say but Hwang interrupts. “Here you go Yeol.” Yeol smiles politely, accepting the offer, disregarding the disrespect.

I watched everyone with mild interest, sipping down my water. It was somewhat peaceful I guess. Well until Joon Oh spoke. “President Hwang I’d like a drink as well,” Hwang just looks at him, hastily bringing his attention to my boyfriend instead, purpously ignoring Joon Oh. “You’ve been working on it for a year, right? You should mark all the music charts in no time.”

I felt bad for Joon Oh, my boyfriend told me what had happened with Jae Hyun but he never really went into details, maybe because it was too hard for him too. I personally never pryed nor would I judge. “I’ve written many songs, too.” Joon Oh beams, and he has too, Yeol listens to them the majority of the time, and they were really good too.

Hwang smiles “Is that so?” He lets out a deep breath, turning back to my boyfriend. “Can you play your new song?” My boyfriend visibly hesitates looking at me then to Joon Oh almost though he was asking our permission. He smiles, nodding. “Okay, I’ll play it.”

Hwang smiles, Joon Oh too as my boyfriend readies his song. I knew what it was, but I doubt those smiles of theres will stay once he shows. I leaned on Yeol’s side, looking up at him with my supportive smile. He knew what I were trying to do and it makes him confident that they will to.

“Next is Tae Ho.” President Hwang reaches for his glass. “How are you?” Tae Ho looks up, “I’m a leading actor, so please get me a new stylist.” I could easily tell that the comment was directed to Joon Oh personally.

“Arent you close with Jeong Yoon Gi? Do you want Jeong Yoon Gi? I’ll hire him for you. Its not a big deal.” Hwang suggest. “Once Tae Ho gets the lead the bad reputaion of dreamers that you all had in the past will all be lost forever. I bet once you sign a new contract and release a album it’ll be a good gift to your fans.” Yeol and Joon Oh stop their actions, looking up at his words, pain of the thought written all over their faces.

Ji Ah and Manager Ki Joon exchange glances, uncomfortable with the whole tense subject. “President Hwang, the song is ready.” Yeol speaks up. Hwang excitedly claps. “Okay let’s hear it.” My boyfriend looks at me with a worried smile and I nod, resting my hand on his arm. Yeol presses the song on his playlist, watching everyones faces intently and how they immediately grow dark; especially Joon Oh’s.

“It sounds similar to that jerk’s song, doesn’t it?” Everyone grew silent, the memory seemingly clouding them. There was a massive amount of dread in the air and it made even me feel distraught. I grip the sleeve of Yeol’s sweater harder, not too welcoming of the looks they were giving my boyfriend. Of course Yeol was persistent and ignored their dirty looks. “Its not the album’s main song is it?”

Without hesitation Yeol nods. “I’m thinking about it.” Joon Oh immediately looks his way. “Yeol.” He pleads. “I’m sorry, Hyung. It’s the least we can do to remember him.”

Joon Oh shakes his head. “President Hwang.” He throws him a pained fake smile. “Please escuse me.” I furrowed my brows, watching his retreat, this wasn’t how I envisioned this to happen. Suddenly the plane shifts and the waiter who comes bearing one’s drink spills it on Joon Oh. He lets out a exasperated breath, though he doesn’t yell at her and just passes by, removing his wet coat.

Yeol sighs heavily, watching as his best friend leaves without explanation or hearing him out. He looks down, sadness in his eyes. Regrettably I feel bad. “Go talk to him.” This was the least I could do, it was partly my choice too.

I honestly couldn’t bear to see him this torn, not when all he wanted to do is remember someone dear. Yeol smiles, leaning down placing a light kiss upon my cheek. “I will, thanks Jagiya.” Hastily he follows after Joon Oh.

“Passengers this is your captain speaking, we’re crossing a zone of turbulence.” I look up at the voice. “Please return to your seats. And please keep your seat belts fastened.”

I sighed when the intercom shuts off, saying fuck it and chase after him. I wouldn’t ever be able to forgive myself if they got into a fight.

It didn’t take long before I hear Yeol’s voice. “I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings, Hyung. Don’t misunderstand.” Joon Oh paces against the room, catching glaces at him every now and then. The bewilderment was clear on his face. “Why? Why did you do it? Why did you write a song like that?” My boyfriend sighs, looking from him to the floor, contemplating if whether he should tell him or not.

“Yeol. Just tell him.” We all look towards the newcomer. Tae Ho pushing past me rudely, making his way through. “Ugh asshole.” I muttered, under my breath, sitting myself down next to them. “That song. You wrote it,” Tae Ho smile was devious, could tell he was doing everything in his power to blame Joon Oh. Causally he plays with the leader’s suit, “-to make Joon Oh live with the guilt for the rest of his life, right?”

It was quite, unbearably quiet and as much as i wanted to open my mouth and tell them that my Yeol didn’t write that song to make Joon Oh suffer, couldn’t. It just wasn’t in my place. I stand up, my hasty actions making me wobble from the turbulance. We all watched the chandelier rock back and forth from the plane’s sudden rising, the lights flashing dim. A rush of anxiety builds up inside me. This atmosphere was extremely dangerous.

“Tae Ho that’s enough, you’re drunk.” Tae Ho swings his hand, stopping Yeol in his tracks, yelling in his face. “Cut it out! Did I say something wrong? Why did we disband?” He stops himself, laughing. Rephrasing himself he says, glaring at Joon Oh. “Why did we get disbanded? Whose fault was it?” Quickly my boyfriend buts in, not liking his tone. “Tae Ho, let’s talk about this another time, please.”

Joon Oh stops him, matching his tone. “No, its okay. So…what is it that you want to say?” Tae Ho scoffs, a grin rising on his face in disbelief, pushing him aside as he walks to the bar. He reaches for a strawberry. “I heard you’re tagging along on this trip to extend your contract.” He pops the fruit in his mouth. “And you’re mooching off the company to release a album. And for what, to write a new song?” Yeol visibly fliches, not entirety loving Tae Ho’s point. “Do you think just anyone can write a song? You just love leeching on people don’t you? You’ll never seize to amaze me.”

Yeol finally gets fed up with and he reaches for his arm, putting him back in his place. “You’re out of line!” Tae Ho angrily rips out of the others hold. “I’m not! Have you forgotten what this jerk did to us? He killed a person! Jae Hyun died because of this scum, Seo Joon Oh.”

“Stop! Enough! This has gone too far!” I couldn’t stand to watch this anymore, friends shouldn’t ever fight like this. “Shut up bitch, what do you know!” “Tae Ho! Don’t-” “Yeol I advise you to keep your women in line, one day that pretty little mouth of hers will get her killed.”

I just cross my arms. I wasn’t scared of this jerk. “Enough is enough! You guys are brothers yet your fighting, get a grip.” Tae Ho scoffs, walking over towards me but Yeol grabs his wrist, “I said don’t!”

The turbulence was getter rougher now, just what was going on outside. “All passengers on the plane, please stay seated.”

“You know you’re girlfriend is almost as cocky as mine, too bad her mouth overshowers her beauty. Unlike Ji Ah she is full of beauty.”

Yeol opens his mouth in regards to the hateful comment but Ji Ah comes barging in, stopping him short. “What the hell are you guys doing!? You better sit down, now!” We didn’t bother asking why and just did as she demanded, we all holding onto something. “Whats going on?” What wrong?“ Questions filled the air now and as much as none were answered I had a feeling we all really knew deep down.

I watch worriedly as Joon Oh stares eyes wide out the window, his mouth agape with shock. “I said sit down!” Ji Ah screams. The plane shakes again and I hold onto the railing tightly, closing my eyes in terror. “Just what is wrong with this plane!” I hear Joon Oh yell. “Sit down already, fuck!” I could sense the fear in Ji Ah’s voice and to comfort her I carefully scoot over towards her, wrapping my arm around her shaken shoulders. “Ji Ah, we’ll be okay.”

“What is happening!” I cry out. “This is happening because there is a unwelcomed guest on board.” Joon Oh let’s Tae Ho’s comment slide, looking over towards us. “Ji Ah grab onto to something!” “Where are the seat belts!” Yeol asks frightened. “There are no seat belts, here!” Ji Ah waves her arm around. “Just stay seated!”

“Stop overreacting! The plane won’t crash!” Tae Oh raises his voice over everyone else’s. You watch horrified as the chandelier swings around, the weight bounding to fail if the turbulence continued. “Guys sit up straight and hold on tight!” “Mind your own business, Joon Oh! This is your fault! If you wasn’t on the plane none of this would be happening!”

Joon Oh looks over towards me and Ji Ah. “Girls please hold onto something!” “What do you think we’re doing.” Ji Ah was beginning to cry and my grip tightens around her. “Stop that you idiot! (Y/N), why is she acting crazy!” Ji Ah screams and Joon Oh grabs a nearby pillow, throwing it at her. “Be quiet!”

All of a sudden the plane goes down, throwing us us all across the room. “Holy shit!” Help!“ "Hey seriously.” We all began to panic and me and Ji Ah end up behind the couch. I pick up Yeol’s voice crying my name while Joon Oh screams Ji Ah’s. Tae Ho yells after Yeol when he scurries through the shaking to get to us. I was starting to lose my control of the situation. And Ji Ah wasn’t waking up.

When my boyfriend reaches us he hastily looks up and down my body, making sure I was okay, pressing his hands against my cheeks. “Jagiya are you okay?” I nodded terrified, eyes wide. I look over. “But Ji Ah…” He brings his attention to her next, shaking her in hopes of waking her.“Ji Ah wake up! Wake up!” She’s out cold.

I look up to see Joon Oh grab a pillow. Glancing up I notice the light above us was loosening. I grab my boyfriends shoulder and before he could register what was going on Joon Oh runs over to us, sheilding the glass light with the peice of furniture. “Ji Ah, fuck open your eyes!” He shouts, seeing that no one was hurt.

I could hear the screams of the other passengers and my heart raced with fear. Without any warning the plane dove into a dive, breaking the chandelier above the bar completely, throwing us all again. I moaned in pain when my head hitting the window. I rushed to grab onto something, holding for dear life, catching the cries of Yeol saying my name. Everything in the room was in disarray, and with Joon Oh on the floor it couldn’t be safe for him. “Hyung!” My boyfriend shouts, gripping onto the seats.

I screamed when the plane flew to the ground faster, the impact harsh against our bodies. I could hear everyone screaming in panic and tears stung my eyes. “What is going on!? If this is a prank its not funny!?” Tae Ho manages to get out, his voice strained from fear.

“Ji Ah!” Unexpectedly Manager Ki Joon comes running in, catching her state on the floor. “I got injured.” I hear her say weakly and Manager Ki Joon cries her name, holding her close.

Joon Oh rolls on the floor, attempting to grab onto something but the plane was shaking too much he couldn’t get a good grip. Yeol looses his own and falls to the ground. On reflex I move over towards him, holding him to my chest. “What’s going on, seriously!” “Ji Ah!!”

My boyfriend helps me up, guilding my hand to the railing behind the seat. He wasn’t too far behind as he hovers above me, his hands beside my own, hanging on with what strength he had left.

Joon Oh too finally grabs onto something and we all look out the windows of the plane, our reactions the exact same. What we see will never leave us and I hear Yeol scream above me, terrified at the sight.

Blue.

Blue is what we saw and believe me that was enough. We all knew what it was.

This was the end.

Impact was harsh as it struck us, knocking everyone around, giving us whiplash, our backs and sides hitting the flying debris of the broken plane. I hissed as one hit me and before I knew it that was all I remembered before I blacked out. The muffed screams, the sounds of water splashing throughout the plane, echoed in my head. They all seemed like a distant dream one we wished would wake from but instead it was our tragic nightmare.

…

Ending Notes:

It’s a lot shorter than I anticipated but I hope it reaches expectations. I really tried my best to make it as good and suspenseful as the show. I got inspirated while watching it and I really couldn’t help but get another pairing in there. With Chanyeol being my UB I said why not.

Let me know what you guys think in the comments, it would really mean a lot to me. Also let me know if I should add more or need to be more detailed. This is a experiment for me and while this may only be a rough draft I might go back and add more depending on your feedback.

Lastly this story has no relation to EXO, none of the members are once mentioned nor do they show, It is only tagged under it because of Chanyeol.

Thank you all for reading.