#I love reading back through my work and being damn impressed with myself and THIS is one of those moments

[spaghettiposts]

Who are some of your favourite writers here?

That's a tough one because I love A LOT of them, but here are the ones that have stuck out to me.

Firstly I'll talk about some Wanda writers:

@mionemymind: one of the most compelling writers out there. I think I have a personal bias because we're similar and share similar interests (star wars lol), they've literally written a star wars based wanda fic!!! Apart from that they have really good one shots and stories. My personal favorite one shots have to be To Be Loved Is To Be Considered, The Actress & The Geek, and my personal favorite Blood Drive.

Aside from being a writer Mionemymind is also a really great person to the community and friends, and I can't tell you how many times I've smiled because of their reblogs. Truly awesome sauce.

@targaryenmarvel: From the moment her story "Fallin all in you" came onto my feed, I was desperately hooked. Absolutely one killer of a story and I can't wait for more. Really great writing and its just so perfect, that story meant everything to me at one point <3

@fortuositywritings: I love everything about this authors writing, but my most favorite thing about their style is the humor. It's so natural and well paced, it makes me smile without fail every time. They aren't as active, and I hope they're doing amazing but if I could let this author know that their series I Said No, and Love Bug changed my writing forever, I would do it in a heartbeat. They're one of the reasons I'm writing for Wanda here today.

@ziggyzolch: I discovered their fic on ao3 first and I've got to say it has me hooked. They deal with more serious topics on series and its one of my favorite parts about their style, honestly Your Prettiness is Seeping Through has got to be hands down one of my favorite series in 2024. Amazing work and great representation to those who need it.

And lastly @wandascosmic: I haven't seen much of her until today but her new series you belong with me has quickly become so special to me that I can't help but mention her. The humor between reader and Sam is amazing, but also the interactions between reader and Wanda have my heart aching so sweetly. I feel like a leech with how quickly I've sunk into this story, you belong with me is so sweetly written and I enjoy every second of it. Amazing work.

Now for the Jenna Ortega fandom, I think I have quite a list. There's so many amazing writers out there it's crazy, I'm always so well fed by both fandoms.

I've got to start out with the legendary @cobaltperun: I binged Lost, for 2 days straight. I was HOOKED. so hooked this story got in the way of my personal life because I couldn't stay away from my phone. I love the way you write Tara and gosh did the series kill and heal me. Aside from Lost, Woe out the storm is also such a sweet story. The whole concept Raiju is so interesting to me now and damn do I love a good slow burn. Im just so deeply impressed too by their rapid request process, and how much they get done, its moving.

Another legend @letorip: First I've just got to mention, his headcannons for characters are amazing and I'm CONSTANTLY having to restrain myself from asking for more because I would only continue. I highly recommend them, they're like stories in themselves. But aside from Headcannons, my personal favorite fic of his would have to be somethin' stupid, especially part 3. The whole series is a must read and gosh do I love the writing, its so beautifully described, every inch of it.

@ajortga: every fic of hers is a fucking BANGER. there's never a fic in which I'm left dissatisfied. I love it all, eat it all. When I find her on my feed, you know I'm immediately digging in. Everything is always so fluffy and nice and just makes a girl feel better yk? I completely recommend reading Cute and Absolute, My Girl, and Bear hugs. All super fluffy and heart warming fics, its crazy <333

@persevereforahappyending: This author stabs me, kills me, brings me back to life, and then stabs me again with angst but I go back every time. Specifically to their newest series A Legacies Secret which is. So. Fucking. Good. They really cooked with that one. Every Friday like clockwork I'm checking for notifications and I'm never disappointed. Their writing style just leaves a grip on you and the plots are so clever too, they're very unique and I love them. Luck Runs Out is another great series and damn I revisit that thing once every two weeks for a reminder on what true love really is.

And lastly but not least one of my newest favorite authors of all time is @honorarysimp: Uncanny Distortion was one of the best things I ever read, the plot, whilst held similarities to scream, had such a creative own twist to the authors imagination. I absolutely loved it, Tara and Detective made my day for weeks, and then came Rumor has it and now two others hold my heart, and break it, a lot. this series feels like its gonna hurt me. But overall Honorary simp is such an underrated writer and I really hope that more people will notice you out there and give you some more well deserved attention because God damn your fics are masterfully crafted and I don't even have the words to describe how much I adore them, all I can say is that I carved a space in my heart for Detective and Lucky.

that was longer than I intended but all of these authors came from the top of my head so they mean a lot to me. Tumblr is a way better place with all of these creative souls in it and honestly I wouldn't have gotten far without all this inspiration surrounding me ❤️

[halfetirosie]

Character Ask meme- Edmond

@xenole I hope you know that you opened the floodgates, and this was going to be even longer but I forced myself to stop before I went fully off-the-rails...

♡♡♡Edmond♡♡♡

First impression

Believe it or not, my first impression of Edmond actually wasn’t good! I was like, “Damn, he’s pretty, but he’s such an asshole!” He seemed stuck-up at best and unnecessarily mean to Eiden at worst. I felt a wee bit better about him when he told Yakumo that the knights that bothered his village were being punished, but I still didn’t like him very much.

Impression now

*Deep inhale*

EVERYDAY I REPENT FOR MY PAST ACTIONS!!!!

I LOVE EDMOND AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM!!!!!

Yo. The GAP MOE. He acts all cold and professional at work, but then we find out that he’s sensitive??? And addicted to sugar??? (Literally a sweetheart!) And he’s basically an otaku that reads erotic book series in his spare time??? (SO DAMN RELATABLE????)

And it is so easy to misunderstand him if you’re only looking at the surface level. Like, yes, his general speech patterns are very rough and blunt, but that’s only because of his upbringing in nobility. He holds himself to a higher standard, but is incredibly humble.

No, really; let’s take a moment to really look at that noble upbringing of his. Aster makes it very clear that many (if not most) of the nobles of Klein are stupid, greedy, and/or corrupt in some capacity—they don’t really care about the common people. Edmond grew up surrounded by that, along with their insane amount of ettiquette, customs, and roundabout ways of speaking. It would’ve been TOO EASY for him to turn out to be a self-absorbed snob, too.

But he isn’t!!! Against all odds, Edmond grew up to be an upright man with a strong sense of justice and concern for civilians. He takes noblesse oblige seriously. He works hard everyday in everything he does; and he does A LOT. Like, A LOT a lot. His full-time job as Vice Captain, plus Clan duties, plus household duties (so that his mother doesn’t have to do any of it, even though she says she can). 

It’s no wonder, then, that he’s so goddamn repressed!!!

Sure, he’s a tsundere. But that’s only out of habit (and shyness), rather an actual reflection of his desires. He’s used to stifling that part of himself. He’s used to treating lust as shameful, because he’s afraid of lacking discipline; he doesn’t want to be like all the other trashy nobles in high society.

But through all of his intimacy rooms, Edmond is accepting himself more and more—his sexuality, his essence/magic, and his feelings. While he’s still the strict and hardworking Vice Captain, he’s finding more balance in his life.

Favorite moment

So hard to pic only one!!!

During the White Dat event, Edmond makes his awful dad-joke and looks so proud of himself, it makes me feel so endeared I can barely handle it!!!

The Tranquil Cloud intimacy rooms also hold a special place in my heart. In them, there’s a moment where Edmond deliberately slows his steps so Eiden can walk next to him. Later on in the day, Eiden accidentally finds out that Edmond was following a very specific tip from a certain book:

CUTEEEEEEE!!!! It reminds me of when you're a young kid looking up online "how to know if my crush likes me" or "how to get your crush to like you back" XD!!!

Of course, when Edmond sees Eiden reading that page (which he’d bookmarked and even underlined), he gets very embarrassed. But Eiden is very impressed, moved, and (as per usual) turned on. XD

Idea for a story

It won’t be coming out anytime soon, because there are different stories I have to work on first, but I have started on an Edmond fic! In it, while Edmond is off investigating a drug ring, he ends up raiding a greenhouse filled with plants and animals that were used to make the drugs. After the animals are inspected, those without abnormalities are released back into the wild; however, one of them returns and keeps following Edmond around! Thus, Edmond gets reverse-adopted and gains his own animal friend!

Unpopular opinion

Idk if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but I NEED more of the Edmond intimacy rooms to lean in to BDSM territory!!!

Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely ADORE the romance-heavy rooms. And there have been some rooms that feature light over-stimulation, but other than that? That one fingering scene that had Lord/Knight role-play and then (blessedly) the Elite Instructor Edmond R2 with light bondage and spanking.

But it’s not enough!!!

Come on, devs! You can’t just have Eiden point out that Ed “likes a little pain” in the first sex scene they have, and then do barely ANYTHING with it! I want to see Edmond completely lose his head! I want him to completely let go! I want him to forget his own name, dammit!!!

Favorite relationship

I love it when Yakumo is inflicted with Edmond!!! XD Edmond ruining everything he touches by drowning it in sugar, while Yakumo desperately attempts to stay calm…>:)

More seriously, Edmond’s relationship with Eiden is TOP TIER. With every event he’s featured in, all of the intimacy rooms show him falling deeper and deeper in love. It's the sweetest thing ever!!!!

Favorite headcanon

Mama’s Boy Edmond! I like to imagine that Ed’s mom (who, from what we’ve seen, is super cool) will give him completely unsolicited relationship advice, in typical mom-fashion! Like, the two of them will be causally eating lunch, and out of nowhere she’ll say something like “You know, Edmond dear, the more often someone sees you, the more fond they'll be of you. If the Grand Sorcerer sees your face every day, it’ll be easier to seduce him!” And Ed would practically shriek “Mother! How could you say something so scandalous?!?!” But then later that same day he’ll be sure to swing by Aster's mansion, an be sure to walk by Eiden's room…

[verai-marcel]

Your Hearth Is My Home (BG3 Fanfic, Astarion x Female Reader, Part 3 of ?)

Summary, Notes, Tags, & Part 1 are here.

Part 2 is here.

AO3 link is here, darling.

Chapter Word Count: 2256

Act I, Chapter 3 - The Tension

Another day passed, and another evening of Astarion wandering off while the others ate their meal.

“Doesn’t he ever eat?” Karlach asked.

“Maybe he snacks throughout the day,” you commented idly. "He certainly doesn’t like my food," you muttered after.

“Then he doesn’t have good taste,” Wyll said, giving you a smile. “For what it’s worth, I think your food is absolutely delicious.”

You beamed. Gods, you had to admit to yourself that you were a whore for praise. It was what had kept you by your former employer’s side for longer than was healthy. You shook your head of the memories. Some things were better left in the past.

While the others finished up their meals, you went to prepare the tents.

As you finished Gale’s tent, you saw him coming up to you.

“Watching you work has been an absolute pleasure,” he said with a smile. “I’ve performed great magicks, manipulated the Weave into spells that could topple castles. But you? I’ve never felt a more welcoming and warm magic. It’s like a comforting blanket I could just wrap myself in and never leave.” He leaned a bit closer to you. “I’d love to learn some of those cantrips from you. If you don’t mind sharing your secrets.”

“Sure! I’m not sure how well I can teach you, but I’ll do my best.” You were quite giddy from the fact that a wizard was asking you, a mere hearth witch, to teach him something.

“Wonderful.” He reached out, perhaps to touch your arm, but you instinctively flinched away. Noticing your reaction, he let his hand fall. “Well, have a good night,” Gale said, giving you a friendly wave of his hand instead before turning in for the night.

You stayed still for a moment, turning over two things in your head: one, wondering if you were good enough to teach a wizard, and two, berating yourself for recoiling so obviously from a friendly touch. You had sleeves and gloves on, so there was no reason for you to have done that, yet habits instilled into you as a child were hard to change. Because of your ability to feel others’ emotions through skin contact, your mother had trained you to avoid touch in general as a safeguard. You could react appropriately with forewarning, and sometimes you even brushed someone’s hand or arm on purpose to get a read on them. But there were times when you were caught off guard. 

I thought I had gotten better at that.

With your mind churning, you turned around and saw Astarion walking back to camp, watching you with a smirk.

“What?” you asked as your path crossed his on your way to the next tent. You inwardly cringed at your tone. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.

“Nothing,” said with his usual smarm. “Unless you were looking for praise from me as well.”

For a moment, a singular, split-second of a moment, you let your craving for praise show on your face before you locked it down.

But you had already revealed too much.

“Though you’d need to impress me first,” he replied, breezily walking past you toward the campfire to join the others who were still awake.

Never mind, he deserved that tone. Damn noble.

Out of spite, you neglected to cast warmth on his tent. Let him freeze for one night, see how he feels about being condescending to you tomorrow.

***

“It was awfully cold last night,” Astarion commented in the morning.

The others looked at each other, then they all looked at you.

You immediately got up, unable to stand their curious stares. “I need to check the fishing nets,” you said quickly as you stalked away toward the water.

You could hear Karlach distantly. “I thought my tent was fine.” 

Once you reached the water’s edge, you knelt down and tugged at the nets, but your mind was elsewhere. Now that you were faced with the consequences of your actions, you regretted your petty revenge. Sure, you could have lied your ass off and gotten away with it. But since you had panicked and bailed without giving a good excuse, it was pretty clear what you did, or rather, didn’t do. What would everyone think of you now?

“You didn’t run very far, little hearth witch.”

Still in the middle of your existential crisis, you immediately stood and whirled around to see Astarion walking towards you.

“Now, I would have assumed you just forgot about poor me if you had just lied about it,” he said in a tone that clearly implied that he wouldn’t have believed a damn word out of your mouth. He stepped closer, and with the water at your back, you had nowhere to go. So you stood your ground and stared at him until he was practically toe to toe with you.

“Instead,” he continued, tipping his head, “you ran away, guilt written all over your face. Whatever could I have done to warrant being singled out like this?”

Seeing his smug face brought your previously squashed annoyance bubbling to the surface. You glared as you hissed, “You held a knife to my neck!”

“But I apologized for that, and I explained myself, didn’t I?” He tipped his head the other direction, looking like a kicked puppy. “I thought we were square.”

You bit your lip. Yeah, you knew he was faking it, but regardless, you did feel guilty. A moment of petty vengeance, not just against him, but against what he represented. The nobility.

It wasn’t fair to him. You knew it wasn't a fair thing, a night of discomfort in the cold for one snarky remark that you could have just ignored. You were better than that. And you knew not all nobles were bad. There were quite a few that were good, upstanding folks. One bad experience in the past should not have soured your outlook on an entire class of people.

You swallowed. Looked up at him. Remembered that he too had his own fears and shadows. Maybe he just had a bad day. You always prided yourself on being able to consider the situation of others before acting, and to have failed in doing so stung pretty damn hard. The guilt gnawed at you until tears began to well up in your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you said sincerely. “That wasn’t fair, and… you didn’t deserve it.” Your voice had grown shaky with emotion. You hated that you sounded like a trembling kitten.

A self-satisfied grin spread on his face. “Well, I accept your apology.” 

When you continued to silently cry, he began to look uncomfortable. “I’m not mad,” he said as he looked over his shoulder, starting to look a little panicked. “It’s not a big deal. The others will think I’m a monster if they see you cry. So stop.”

You were crying more out of anger at yourself and not because of him, but you had to admit, you felt some schadenfreude from seeing him so anxious. “Say please,” you joked through your tears.

He sighed. “Fine. Please.” Then he leaned in a little closer. “Please,” he repeated, quieter, gentler.

You looked up at him, surprised by the change in his tone. “Alright,” you said, your voice still a little shaky.

Astarion smiled at you then, and your heart skipped a beat. Dammit, he sure knew how to use his attractiveness to his benefit. 

“Good girl,” he said before patting you on the head and walking away.

You touched your head where he had patted you. There had been a sense of satisfaction in his touch, but you weren’t sure if it was for you, or himself.

***

Late that night, you were awoken by the soft sounds of cloth moving around. You opened your eyes to quite the sight at the campfire, so you lay in your bedroll, feigning sleep so you could watch surreptitiously. 

It was quite the contrast to Astarion’s usual day time persona.

He was shirtless, sitting cross legged by the fire pit. His profile was lit by the slowly dying light of the campfire and the full moon, his brows furrowed in concentration as he slowly sewed together the damage on his undershirt. You could tell from the toned muscles on his bare torso that he wasn’t just eye candy. He could hold his own in a fight, and from the past couple of days, you got the idea from the others that he was a little extra gleeful when he got to stab someone.

He hissed when he pricked himself with the needle, his brow furrowing even more. He brought the shirt closer to his face, examining the tear from different directions. His movements seemed a bit slow, as if he was exhausted from the day’s activities.

Maybe if he ate my fucking food, he wouldn’t be so tired.

You shook your head of your ire and sighed. You couldn’t watch him do this any longer when you could easily fix this with your cantrip. Rolling out of your bedroll, you quietly crawled over to him.

He looked over at you and promptly looked away.

“What, come to mock my sewing skills?” he asked. His usual sass was only half-present, as if he was too drained to defend himself.

His defeated tone saddened you a bit. Looking closer, you noticed that there were mends all over, and the stitching appeared to be a bit haphazard. You reached for the shirt, only to have him suddenly yank it away.

“Don’t. Touch.”

You blinked. Then you looked at him, truly looked at him. He was frowning, his body almost curled defensively. He was holding onto his shirt like it was his only possession in the world. Under your gaze, his glare changed to a tired expression.

“What do you want,” he asked in a deadpan tone as he slumped a little.

“I just wanted to help,” you said sincerely. For all the attitude you had given him before, you didn’t hate him. It wasn’t his fault you disliked most nobles.

He tipped his head and considered your offer. Slowly he held out the shirt to you, his eyes staring into yours. “Can you fix this?” he asked in barely a whisper.

Taking it gently, you examined it in the dim light. It was hard to see, so instead you ran your hands over all of the material and realized that it wasn’t haphazard stitching. It was layers and layers of thread, as if he had carefully mended his clothes over and over again. He was a noble, wasn’t he? Couldn’t he just buy new clothes? Why would he go through the trouble of repairing something that was worn out to such an extent?

Your fingers carefully searched for what seemed to be the oldest mend. From old to new, you told yourself. Contrary to how this spell was taught, you had figured out that reversing the order would strengthen the repairs of the newer section by unraveling everything down to the core and rebuilding it anew. It was a slower, more meticulous process, but it made for a stronger repair. 

You focused closely on the fabric and began to hum. It was an old song, a song from your childhood. A song that made you think of sunlit evenings and aurora midnights that lasted but a moment, of moonlit days and months of snow. The cloth unraveled slowly, and then came back together, the old threads falling to the wayside and then woven back into the cloth as if they had always belonged there. The scars from the past make up the skin of today, so it must be incorporated back in, not discarded nor removed. At least, that was how your cantrip worked.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him leaning in closer, but you ignored him as you continued to work. It was critical to maintain the song, maintain the flow, otherwise you would have to start all over. And somehow, the importance of this was understood, since Astarion sat by quietly as you worked. You weren’t sure how long it took, but when you finished, the sun was beginning to peak over the horizon, and your throat was dry from the constant use of your voice.

Finally, you looked up and blinked. Your vision was a little blurry, but you could see Astarion looking at the shirt with awe in his expression.

He seemed far away as you handed the shirt back to him. His hands ran over the places that you had worked extra hard on, where several patches and mends had occurred, overlapping each other.

“It’s… perfect. As if it were brand new,” he murmured.

You were insightful enough to know that this shirt meant much more to him than he let on. So you quietly stood and left him to his musings.

He suddenly grabbed your hand. You were surprised to feel a deep gratitude before he let go, his expression vacillating from something softer to awkward before settling on his habitual sneer. “I suppose you’ll be wanting some coin for your trouble,” he said, his usual snarky tone returning.

You shook your head. “I just wanted to help,” you repeated, and meant it. You decided to just begin your morning chores, but not before glancing back to see him touching his shirt with a reverence that made your heart clench in sympathy.

What would make a noble cling to a simple piece of clothing so earnestly?

---------------------------

End Notes: More cantrips, more singing. Hope y’all don’t mind, as it's going to be a theme here. I re-wrote that internal monologue that Hearth Witch is having in her head while she’s standing by the water so many times, so I hope the emotions came through. Next week, the chapter that most of you are probably looking forward to - let’s get close to Astarion. Really close.

[ominous-feychild]

I have a Problem in that I love to over-explain things even when I don't need to.

Especially when I don't need to. 😭

On that note! I'm working on my introduction post again (take a guess how many times I've gone to work on it and then stopped) and I went too in-depth when I should really be focusing on making it shorter, haha.

Except... I don't want to get rid of what I've written, and still want to share it.

SOLUTION!

My Obsessions:

✦ Fantasy, horror, mystery, action, and exploration of realistic characters' reactions to the things they go through.

What I write tends to be a reflection of this. My main works are high fantasies placed in what I feel is a more realistic setting--not as in grimdark "realistic", but places that are very used to the existence of magic. Someone who's grown up in a place with magical basically-electricity shouldn't spend five pages fawning over the existence of teleporters. Maybe they'll be surprised. Maybe they'll even be impressed. But unless they have some kind of a special interest in the subject, they'll probably spend more time thinking about how convenient it'll be for them rather than how it works, what it means, and the long, long history of magic... which has been around them for their whole life.

✦ Fairy tales, mythology, and folklore

I called myself "ominous-feychild" for a reason, haha. I like horror, I love fantasy, I adore faeries, and dear god--am I in LOVE with putting them all together! In folklore, faeries weren't cute little pixies that helped everyone around them... or even tiny little pixies that annoyed everyone around them (most of the time). They were the things that went "bump" in the night, that you huddled in close with your loved ones when you thought you might've caught their attention... Or, they made you question if your sister's eyes were always that far apart. Wait, was your bedroom there before? Did... did you even have a sister??? Well, you do now. And you might want to start running.

✦ "Ye Olde History" and language

"Ye Olde" meaning "the further away from modern day, the better." I can appreciate steampunk and actually often implement it into my own writing, but I do not consider Victorian England to be old. Civilization has been tracked back to as early as 4000 BCE, and it's way too easy to google that to think history actually started when Jesus was put on the cross. (Note: I am a merciless agnostic and hate what Christianity did to our world's history. So much was erased just because some bigots thought "stupid people don't think and act exactly like me, they're clearly barbaric! Time to erase their entire culture, massacre their people, and/or destroy their creations! Empathy be damned!!!" Fuck Christianity. To any Christians reading this, I don't mean you--just your religion. But you have to admit, it really sucks.)

✦ DIVERSITY!!!

As I just alluded to, I love learning about things that are unlike me. And, even more than that, I love people feeling like they have a place they belong. I've gone most of my life feeling ostracized, I'm not just going to perpetrate that cycle myself. Besides! It gets exhausting being in echo chambers with the same-old white cishet stories all the time.

✦ Explorations of "evil-coded" characters and abilities--aka, not just showing them as evil. Show them as people (for characters) and tools (for abilities)!

This is actually kind of personal to me. Autism and other disabilities have historically most often been relegated to villains because we're somehow "worse" than everyone else. Even I fell into that trap in the past, accidentally making a villain autistic-coded before I got my diagnosis. Now, I love putting people with questionable traits, powers, and backstories on the good side while the typically "good" things end up as villains. Something something, humans want freedom and freedom is chaos, something something, order is forcing things into boxes they might not particularly fit in because "otherwise, where else would they go???"

✦ Learning!!!

This might be weird, but I have a genuine love for just learning! (Not school, just learning.) I go down rabbit holes researching things all the time--and not just for writing! Obviously two of my favorite subjects are history and language, but I also love earth science and the ways our planet regulates itself to try to maintain balance! (And then we humans screw it up but.) Even in general, I love learning about random things, so if you ever have a weird infodump you really want to share, feel free to tag me in it and I'll check it out!!!

Yeah, by the way, this is linked to my actual intro post!

Divider by @cafekitsune

[onecornerface]

the time I trolled 4chan as a fake flat earther for six hours in 2012

In July 2012, I got on 4chan and pretended to be a flat earther. I passionately argued for flat earth theory for six hours with almost no break. I kept a single thread going the whole time, getting over 400 replies. I’m not sure if I still have a PDF of the thread, but I do have some quotes from people who responded to me. Looking back over this a decade later, I am proud.

[CW: Slurs]

"There's no way you're actually this dumb. There's just no way."

"the flat earth society is one of the best trolls i've ever seen, in all those days of /b/"

"I tried some scientific research on this topic a while ago. I ordered a pizza, got two because the first was not what I ordered. I let the first dry out under a light bulb. Eventually, after a couple weeks, living creatures started populating Planet Pizza, after a while orbiting their home planet. This is proof, that the earth is flat. tl;dr Earth is a pizza, probably on a bigger pizza which probably is in a room with an even bigger pizza."

"Sir your thesis contradicts climate, you don't know what refraction is, you can't explain day and night, ebb and flow and you're also paranoid and/or outright stupid since you believe in conspiracy theory."

"You are a stupid faggot, and the whole of society would be better if you stopped breathing it's air. ...unless, of course, you're a troll. In that case, I'll award you an 8/10."

"I however, HAVE BEEN TO SPACE. Twice. I assure you, having orbited the planet many times, it is indeed a sphere. OP is an idiot, his only defense against me is 'omg gimme proof' which I can, and once given, 'u r part of the illuminatee' Ugh. Ignorant dumb ass piece of shit."

"Damn OP 9/10"

"If we dealt with this on a daily basis i would kill myself."

"Yes my jimmies are rustled, because I hate ignorant, inbred fucks like OP. Go die in a hole. Oh wait, you couldn't, you'd be scared of just falling through into space."

"10/10 OP good trolling, keeping in character and sounding legit"

"9/10 OP. My jimmies will be rustled for the whole rest of the day after reading this tripe."

"[S]ome eyebrows must be raised in the direction of the /b/ros still continuing to argue about this. Better standard should be expected from you guys, but taking away nothing from OP. Excellent work."

"If you're not a failtroll you are, by far, one of the most deluded and idiotic people I've ever seen post on /b/, which is a tremendous feat."

"9/10 for commitment"

"love this thread op 10/10 for still being here." (This was three hours in.)

">Focuses on the obscurely worded >Ignores every other point >Provides no answers About what I was expecting."

"Go hung yourself, please Humanity doesn't need such stupid people like you are"

"I'd believe someone who says the earth is flat compared to someone who claims otherwise and can't grammar correctly."

"I haven't laughed so hard at something on /b/ for a long time."

"OP, I'm not gonna bother asking you anything. I just wanted to let you know this is the best thread I have seen as long as I can remember. You truly are amazing. Good fucking job."

"nice arguments though i am in awe of your reckless faggotry and ignorance and skills of producing believable logical fallacies."

(Four hours in) "I can't believe this thread is still going. OP is the most successful troll of all time."

">Earth is flat >Every other celestial body is round >mfw 1/10"

"Great thread. You are not a troll, I saw you other times here and I knew personally a man from this society."

"holy shit 0 of fucking 10"

"Billiard balls are also flat. Isn't it obvious that they sprites?"

"10/10 OP wins"

">almost 5 hours of this shit 10/10"

"Big respect OP. OP is alpha as fuck"

"but seriously, OP is the man destroying everyone with his devasting arguments for hours huge respect man if i would suck a cock then I'd suck yours and I'd propably come before you do"

"3/10. Painfully obvious troll, yet impressive to see so many anons actually failing to make a compelling argument."

"Willy Wonka travelled around the world in 80 days, and ended up back where he started, just in time for tea. You can't explain that."

"Did you ever wonder what happened to Amelia earhart? She flew too far. Gov't shot her down past the ice wall. They obviously couldnt have her come back from that trip, she would tell everyone"

"I myself subscribe to modern rational empiricism, in accordance to which OP's arguments are absolute bullshit. And yet the attempts to challenge his unfalsifiable beliefs have proven mostly futile. A great majority of those posting in this thread have no idea why they should believe the earth is round."

"There has to be trolling here, I seriously can't believe what I am reading."

"this is beyond epic"

"I'm starting to enjoy this so i'm upping you from a 2/10 to an 8 but it ends now."

"OP is now argueing since 6 hours. This is the longest discussion I've ever seen in my life. Of ALL discussions, not only 4chan."

"arguments presented thus far by flatty: >did you personally do the experiment? no? then the results are invalid >here's my evidence; as demonstrated in this experiment someone else did also >oh; you did the experiment itself and it basically shows that the earth is round? >there's probably crazy gravity or some shit; hell if i know or >just because we can't explain every one of these phenomena and a spherical model can doesn't mean we're wrong. i'm serious you guys also >pictures lie and you should never believe them; despite mind boggling quality and quantity available for universal use online"

"Explain how we can have fat asses and tennis balls but a flat fucking earth."

"9/10 OP, well done!"

[porkcutletbowl44]

Hello again!!! Makes almost one month since the last time I read anything related to Far From Perfect (college is draining all my sanity and time) but I finally read the latest chapters and I've to say they're delightful.

The start of chapter 19 surprised me a lot since I didn't expect Kyle to be the one to help Simon while he's drowing himself in alcohol. I expected to see Johnny in this situation, but it's a pleasing surprise to see Kyle instead since I think he's a really nice character. It was also so cute and heartbreaking to see mama taking care of Simon in the hospital. It's obvious that she cares deeply about his happiness and well-being and yet he's insufferable most of the time (actually impressed that he wasn't in this chapter). Being honest I actually laughed so much while mama was helping him to undress😭 I couldn't believe it and honestly I'd laugh too if i was in her shoes because the situation is awkward to even think of.

Reading the wedding scene in chapter 20 made my eyes a bit teary (was waiting for it since you mentioned once), I really love the way you make me feel nostalgic and melancholic about mama and Simon's old dinamic before he fucked up with it. They were such a lovely couple that it makes me furious, sad and so many other things I don't know how to name that it was all throw away because he was insecure and refused to communicate before taking drastic decisions about their relationship. Now talking about my lovely man Keegan, he's the most perfect man I've ever seen😞❤. I find myself smilling at my cellphone while reading about him and Fawn interacting because they have a wonderful relation. She's a bubbly and sweet kid and he's just so carrying towards her, when he takes her to a bike ride the whole situation about Simon falls on the background and the whole thing gains a calm and light-hearted, it's just so perfect💞. I think i talk too much about my love to this man, but he's one of my favorites and it's way too hard to find good content of him in the fandom.

About the notes on chapter 21's start, I just want to say that your work makes me really happy. I'm sorry that you received hate your content and I hope you've gained motivation again to continue this wonderful series❤❤❤. Now about the chapter itself, seeing Fawn worrying about her father is one of the cutest thing in it (also them watching Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends bring me some good memories, that show was amazing). This whole chapter was sweet and sad at the same time, but mostly sweet. Fawn's game was a wonderful scene too, definely one of my favorites. It's just so good to see Keegan growing even more fond towards mama and her daughter even when he isn't even part of the family (hopefully this will change soon🙏) . Although sometimes I fell bad for him, I mean imagine falling in love with someone who still loves and misses their ex and that has recently passed through a divorce? That's tough, and I'm impressed on how well he hides his jealousy and how patient he's with mama. And when Fawn calls him "daddy" my jaw fell to the floor. Wasn't expecting that, either wass him, mama or anybody I'm really sure of that. Honestly I think that it was really just a slip up this time, but considering that Simon almost doesn't spend time witb Fawn as he used to and that Keegan is way more present now, I wouldn't be surprised if it turns into a common thing for her.

Now Ghost went back into being a completely idiot on chapter 22 damn. It was taking too long but he started saying things without thinking again, and reading this was a real rollercoaster of emotions. First of all, how dare him to suddenly show up on mama' workplace with their daughter and refer to her as his wife like he didn't absolutely destroyed her mental health with the divorce? Sorry but i'd be livid if I was in this situation (not related but her boss is actually so chill, like wdym she can take an early day off just because her family is there? I loved it). The car ride was just so overwhelming😭 first they're calmly chatting and suddenly the air is tense because of him, he definitely doesn't know how to properly formulate phrases without sounding like an ass. He's so misarable and it's delicious to see him dealing with the consequences (even tho he doesn't know how). Now Colleen, Jesus Christ she also makes me livid💔. Honestly it impresses me that even after she made his daughter scared about her mother's safety and happiness he still allowed her to be near Fawn, it's almost like he forgot with who he's living with. The most responsible adult there was mama, especially when she punched Colleen (like shshshould've done earlier). I just can't with her and Simon, they're both inresponsible and selfish in their own ways and its insufferable.

Now finally talking about everything, I really hope mama doesn't allow her daughter near that woman ever again. It's surprising that even when Simon claims to care about her and Fawn more than anything in the world he' still able to do idiot things related to them. Deeply wondering when he's going to dump that bitch because she literaly slapped his daughter, what kind of sane person does that??? Read a comment on Ao3 about everyone in this fanfiction needing therapy and they're so real about it. If i remember good mama already goes to therapy, but I highly doubt Simon does because he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions and with the variety of scenarios he can pass through, and if he really wants to get things back to what they were before the divorce, he needs to get his feelings on check. Also noticed that Fawn is more talktive in this last chapters (?) but idk, I think I might be imagining things here, althought if I'm not, I need to say that I found it wonderful. And I'm deeply hoping that mama doesn't accept any advances of Simon's part because he doesn't deserve a second chance. He's horrible for her mental health and I'm praying that she'll choose Keegan instead and finally get over her ex because she deserves better that how he treated/is treating her.

Anyways, I'm really sorry for the gigant ask but I needed to talk about this fanfiction so bad💔. Missed a lot reading your wonderful righting and seeing the lead this whole thing is getting. I wish you a wonderful week and that you keep continuing with this lovely work💞💞💞.

Oh the smile on my face reading this while eating sushi 🤭🥰🥰🥰

I'm so glad to see you in my ask box!!! And I'm so sorry to hear that college life is draining :( I'm cheering for you until it gets better!!! 🫶🏻

Everything certainly is messy! I will say right off the bat Simon is 100% done with Colleen's bullshit, he obviously cares way more for his kiddo than her so she will be letting the door hit her on the way out (for a reason I will not disclose just yet 🫥)

Simon has been doing so much reflecting and trying to navigate what the hell is going on, feeling new things for the first time is a broken rollercoaster sheesh 😬

I'm honestly debating on enabling comment moderation because there's simply too much judging based on the first few chapters when things are meant to go slow, and it's a little bit irritating because I can tell when someone reads and gets a full understanding rather than skimming and forming an incorrect assumption without going through the whole series. (Also debating on posting a very indepth Simon analysis on how his character is in the fic)

And yes! Mama does self therapy with her little journal and whatnot, and that seems to be helping (I think I'm gonna leave the poor lady alone now, depression is NOT fun :(

But now that I have everyone (at least mostly everyone) hating Simon, time to pull a little switcheroo 🤭😈

As always, I love rants, and my ask box is always open to those who want to talk about Far From Perfect 🫶🏻

[muqingapologist]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

this is such a hard question because i’ve gone through so many phases of obsessing over pieces of media in my life, and sometimes it’s really hard for me to parse which characters are lasting favorites and which are just part of that phase. but i’ll try! keep in mind, lots of sentimentality ahead…

and this is in no particular order.

1. wei wuxian (the untamed)

ok so this kind of goes along with a previous post i made discussing my feelings of the mdzs book vs. the untamed. when i first watched the untamed at the recommendation of a friend, it was so unlike anything i’d ever seen before. and wei wuxian was so unlike any protagonist i’d ever encountered before. his determination to do what’s right no matter what others do, but also not being above experiencing doubt and uncertainty about his decisions, really touched me. also of course his carefree attitude toward life is something i repeatedly try and fail to achieve myself. it might also have to do with xiao zhan’s acting choices, but he really touched me as a character. it’s hard for me to say if the wwx of the book did the same organically because i read it over a long period of time after watching the show, so im just going to count the untamed version.

2. shizuku tsukishima (whisper of the heart)

this one is probably pretty niche but allow me to give my most heartfelt recommendation of whisper of the heart, my favorite ghibli movie and one of my favorite films of all time. shizuku is the protagonist of the film. she’s a young girl, probably about 14, and so far, her life has been defined by satisfying her imagination by always reading fiction, immersing herself in stories. inspired by the love interest of the film seiji, she decides she wants to try to be a writer. the film is kind of like a slice of life over a few months of this time, and we see shizuku struggle with perfectionism and wanting to follow her dreams and inability to take criticism, etc. i rarely cry over movies but i cried at this one because i had just never felt so seen by a character. everyone please watch whisper of the heart!🙏

3. prince zuko (avatar: the last airbender)

i think 50% of the reason he’s on here is sentimentality since avatar was a show i watched so much throughout my childhood and of course again more recently with its resurgence in popularity, but also what can i say? his character arc is unmatched. i won’t rehash the details. i will say uncle iroh would probably be here instead if we knew any more about his past because he’s off-screen journey is just so fascinating to me.

4. percy jackson (percy jackson & the 12 olympians)

PURE sentimentality but ya know….also im only considering this character how he exists in the original series. he kind of lost me in heroes of olympus. but yeah percy jackson was the first character that really impacted me back when i was 9, and i think i still carry that impact to this day. i also think the original series still holds up reading it as an adult.

5. kim wexler (better call saul)

kim nation!!! reveal yourselves!! i watched better call saul a little over a year ago and damn, it’s so rare to find such interesting, well-developed, flawed within reason female characters in a tv drama like this. her intelligence and her tendency to get carried away with jimmy don’t contradict each other but work together. her emotional journey….UGH!! kim x post-prison jimmy, who else hopes?

6. xie lian (tgcf/heaven official’s blessing)

so this one is new and i’m not completely sure the deep impression will last yet, but i’ll explain. when i first read tgcf about two years ago, i kind of skimmed because it was so long, and the feelings i had toward xie lian were…not super favorable. i was kind of bored by him and….i saw him as a lesser wei wuxian. AND I WAS WRONG!!! because i reread tgcf finally a couple of months ago, no skimming, really thinking about what i was reading and now i love him. his journey from optimistic prince who had never before suffered to carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders to nearly collapsing under that weight but despite all odds, pulling through and once again finding that optimism, or at least hope. it touched me so much this time around!!! also i don’t know why i thought he was boring first time around. this guy is funny as hell! anyway, lots of lessons to apply to my own life and whatnot.

7. ninth doctor (doctor who)

guys….hear me out. notice im not saying “the doctor” because i think most of doctor who is just nonsense. but that one season with the ninth doctor (and okay i like the tenth doctor’s seasons well enough, or i did really love them. less so these days…). so much potential. so when i say he’s one of my favorite characters ever, i accept that it’s mostly the version of the doctor that lives in my head and isn’t subject to the bad writing decisions made later in the show. it’s a lot of sentimentality, but i am really fascinated by this traumatized alien guy who just lost his entire people, finding himself devolving into more violent, unforgiving tendencies, but meeting rose, jack, whoever else along the way is able to remind him of not who he was but who he could be. of course doctor who is forever ongoing though so character development can only go too far lol.

8. nozue (old-fashioned cupcake)

this is also brand new so not sure if lasting because i only just read and watched ofc, but man. this guy’s journey from being defeatist about getting older and turning 40, being afraid of trying anything new, to allowing himself to experience new things, one of those things being falling in love! his whole concept of using regret as fuel for happiness, transmitting that idea to togawa who transmits it back to nozue later!! ahhh!! so like my love for this character might actually just be love for the entire story but i can’t not mention it every five seconds rn so….

9. isabel archer (portrait of a lady)

so this is the protagonist of henry james’s portrait of a lady, which i finally finished reading last month. and gosh! well the book itself was amazing, but i was especially touched by isabel’s character, mainly because she just felt so realistic. her motivations, her goals, her shift, her sorrows, they all feel earned, creating an incredibly vivid character that i think most people can find something in there to relate to, especially other women who have always been told they are clever and imaginative and yet find themselves struggling internally to live up to those expectations.

10. natasha rostova (war and peace)

it’s been years since i read war and peace in my university freshman seminar, so it’s hard for me to speak on the details of why exactly this character is here. but also it’s no surprise because this is a character that continues to be the star of russian literature. what i can say, she’s another bright, carefree character (clearly symbolizing aspects of russian culture but even beyond that) who it’s impossible not to feel deeply connected to. she goes through some pretty life-altering stuff in war and peace (everyone listen to the musical called natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812 for those details!!) and as the reader, you just really feel for her. idk man she still stands out in my mind, but also this is also much thanks to the musical i just mentioned above.

i kind of came up with these on the spot so like…who knows how accurate this is, but i like to talk about the things i like so sue me. thank you for the question though!!

[carecrowgames]

Yazeba Read Through #5

Hey, I skipped a day as I spent it recovering from the sun trying to evaporate my brainfluids. But delightfully I am back presenting you a reading extravaganza of .. 2 pages!

So let’s get into them, with Page 19 - Characters

Once I open page 19, seeing the Grey box with half rounded edges immediately excites me, as that seems how fiction boxes are marked. I wonder if we'll see some of the other residents this time, I would be excited to see some interactions with them. If I had to put money on someone it would prob be Hey Kid, because after they just had been introduced on page 17, i find it hard to imagine either book or reader would hold out long without seeing them some more on page. Their pure existence shouts for attention. Maybe it's an interaction between Hey Kid and Parish, considering they are the only starting residents, who haven't been introduced in fiction yet.

Ok but into the first sub chapter (?): residents! I realy love the framing of yazeba being a story that revolves around the residents and this in turn being how they are defined. Defining what a resident is within the story instead of the world seems like it prevents confusion. It also just feels consistent with how the book positions its world as seen through a storytelling perspective. More than that though, it’s simply endearing, to know that these are in a way our companions on the journey with the bed and breakfast. It makes them immediately closer to me.

This is also where exchanging characters gets introduced and oh my god, the entire concept is so fun! I got a taste for it in wanderhome (buy it at its so good oh my god, buy it now on https://possumcreekgames.com/pages/wanderhome) where it is one of the features that make the npc system so impressive to me. The traits you compose them from makes exchanging feel so natural. It helps keep characters consistent and easy to get into, while allowing the player who takes them over to not feel incredibly bound to imitating exactly what the previous player of the character did with them and instead rely on their own interpretation of the trait moves to guide them.

The fact that in this book players are encouraged to do so with the main characters, to come to understand and reinterpret them together, is incredibly exciting. I wonder what is done in the character playbook design to keep up consistency, or to help work together towards a common goal with the character, and to make it intuitive to pick them up. "It gives the character room to grow in a new way" Is such a beautiful way of putting the act of exchanging them. It highlights how it adds to the story told, making it feel like a great formulation to excite readers. Hell, it makes me want to exchange which character I play with someone right now and I haven’t even seen a playbook yet, let alone played a character.

Oh Hey, it's actually Hey Kid in the fiction block! And parish! I love that the dynamic between them so far is one of patience on parishes side, it's very heart warming and I love that there doesn't seem to be principle character tension between the residents. I had somehow expected Parish to be more annoyed by Hey Kid, so this is just the most pleasant surprise.

Apart from that, hey kid seeing themselves in Gertrudes situation in a way that delights them is so... it's such a character move, it says so much about hey kids specific view of the world and their love for the b&b. It makes me yearn to see Gertrude and Hey Kid interact in another fiction block but. If they don't, damn me if I'm not motivated to do it myself in a chapter and see what happens. This is such s tier character interaction potential dropped and they haven't even interacted yet. It already makes me appreciate the strength of these fiction blocks, not just for giving guidance for play and dropping narrative hints, but for giving you moments of character interaction and interaction potential that makes you want to write a god damn coffee shop AU, which is perfect because by god are you given the framework to play one.

Next Sub Chapter: Guests! Speaking of there seemingly not being much base tension between the residents, I can’t help but notice (my brain just somehow reminded me) that I skipped past something on Page 17: the NEFARIOUS VILLAIN Rag-and-Bones. Yet another delicious breadcrumb my dopamine hungry brain would have jumped after, back to the table of contents and directly to wherever I could read more about whoever could be a foil to these wonderful people. What a delectable thing to throw into the whole vibe of Yazebas, it both fits perfectly and changes everything in a way. Like the name and whimsical grandiosity of “nefarious villain” don’t make it seem like the character would threaten the warm vibe of the bread and breakfast, but it also introduces so much new potential into the coming scenes. You can not imagine the restraint it takes to stay on my current page.

Thinking about the residents as the main cast for the Story that is Yazebas Bed and Breakfast, It makes a lot of sense to reserve the antagonistic forces for the guests. Afterall, an individual antagonistic factor might be better reserved for an episode of a cartoon instead of a mainstay for all of them. But it also opens such potential for the chapters re-playability to consider how much introducing an antagonistic guest as a tertiary character might change their whole tone and dynamic as compared to one with a sweet and helpful one. How different might a birthday for Gertrude play out when Rag and Bones has invited themselves to the party?

Now though, reading how the book itself describes guests absolutely adds an extra dimension to them. I love the idea that their fundamental feature is that they have another home. That to them, the bed and breakfast is not the center of their world, or at least not the only center. It fits so wonderfully with the way Hey Kid understands Getrude, immediately knows to see her as having become one of the people in the bed & breakfast whos world IS the b&b. The differentiation gives such an immediate way to grasp the difference between the two and understand why it’s these 6 (7) we’re focusing on.

What I absolutely didn’t expect is that you could play several guests at once. I don’t know why, reading it it just makes sense that you would, but it sounds so cool. I love the idea of grabbing a handful of ones favorite guests, those that you want to see more off, want to give a bit more screentime, feel like might add a bit to the scene and play them all! The prospect fills me with the sort of excitement I would get from looking at a box of toys knowing I could just use multiple at once. Have you ever seen a multi-launcher for mini beyblades? Amazing feeling. Remembering the size of the list of guests in the table of contents it also just makes sense. If you have a smaller playgroup, and most scenes call for 2 of the residents you would never get to play them all.

Taking care not to let playing multible guests overshadow other Players reminds me that this – playing a large assortment of side characters - is a role a GM would usually play. Thinking about it from a GM perspective, being able to use multiple Guests also feels like a move that makes sure scenes don’t feel underpopulated. I assume (bzw vaguely remember from things seen in the past) that guests are going to be less mechanically complicated then residents – likely to be closer to kin in wanderhome then a playercharacter. So I can imagine handling multiple of them is cognitively much easier to handle then for example multiple residents and therefore allows them to fill this mass of character space much better.

I think this – the way that Yazeba transforms and maps the well-known roles and relations of ttrpgs (GMs, Players, Player Characters, NPCs, Scenes and the way it’s connected through time and space) into it’s own storytelling space, is going to be very interesting to trace as we dig deeper. I find the idea fascinating that the way Guests work, might take advantage of some of the learned GM dynamics and abilities players might bring to the table, without needing to directly put itself into conversation with them.

For now I have to say: I lied to you. I’m only doing one-page afterall, because it’s gotten realy damn late as I am writing this and I can feel my thoughts getting sloppy.

See you tomorrow as i enter page 20 .. which is still on guests.

—————

you can find my other Yazeba readthrough posts under #zeebthrough!

Preorder the game on https://possumcreekgames.com/pages/yazebas-bed-breakfast

[penroseparticle]

Penrose Song of the Day, Day 34: Walang Alam by Hev Abi

I found this song through happenstance.

The other day my mom was telling me that I need to let my mind run the engine, so to speak, so that I can get it to wind down enough to let me do things. The proverbial "let the kid run in circles until he's tired enough to focus". And so I did. I closed my eyes, and just let my thoughts chase each other over and over and follow any path they wanted to until I settled down enough. It worked. I promptly forgot to do it any subsequent days.

I remember the phrase "LALAKINGS" though. Just popped into my head unbidden. I enjoy picking the threads of fate, so to speak. randomness is baked into everything, we are all on The Drunkard's Walk, sometimes going with it takes you somewhere you wouldn't get without it. So I take the time to be whimsical, or nonsensical sometimes. I impart more meaning to actions than they deserve because hey- it means something to someone, right? Why not this, why not to me?

So I did a quick Spotify search for the phrase lalakings. I had an inkling I could find something music related to it, and lo and behold, I hit upon a truly impressive playlist of some, frankly, insanely good hiphop. Shoutout Aeron Medina, if you ever read this know you have great taste.

Hev Abi was the second artist on the playlist, right after Coast Contra (Another high quality pick tbh, give them a listen).

I don't know if I would have picked Filipino Rap to be my new obsession, but I'll be damned if Walang Alam hasn't been in heavy rotation lately.

I'm no stranger to quote unquote foreign music, even in this series- Todo De Ti was featured earlier. Laisses Tomber Les Filles. I loved Telepatia when it came out. The Spark is blowing up as we speak. I'm an Ikimono Gakari Stan, I know Yelle by heart. PLEASE GO LISTEN TO TALCO, Italian Ska is the truth, weirdly. Connor Price's Globe series gave me some great hiphop artists to listen to in other countries and languages.

But strangely I haven't hit on any southeast asia, any pacific islander fare. Nothing to really

There's something so. Chill about Walang Alam. It's got credibility. I hear this and I'm like yeah. This guy is sad. He's sad in a different language which makes him EXTRA sad because i didn't even hear sad words to clue me in! He has poor wet meow meow energy via voice alone. Truly incredible.

I enjoy the acoustic approach to the song. Acoustic music is musical shorthand for more intimate, more emotional. your sound has less reach, so we know it's just for us. Maybe it hits different knowing it's private. Vulnerable.

I've been thinking a lot about sadness. How to deal with it. I feel like I can only feel my emotions incorrectly. Like some dumb ogre stomping around breaking things. I'm so angry all the time and I don't have anywhere to put it. I don't want to burden people. Lord knows I've done enough of that. But you can't hold the hurt and do anything else, I'm finding.

So how do you turn it into roses, or whatever. You talk about it right? We're hardwired to be helped by the talking. But how, and to who, and how much is too much, and hey don't forget you're intruding on their personal wellbeing by being unwell at them.

You are a tire fire, but ouroboros'd back around at myself. It won't shut off though so I'm trying to bushwhack through it. Bear with me, under construction, etc.

I think this song is the good kind of sad. Where even though no solution has been presented, something of value was gained. Reflection? Perspective? A sick single? Whatever it is, Hev Abi seems changed and resolved by the end.

The tiny pop of english at the end is a nice touch too. very "moon in japanese is different, more evocative and mystical" somehow. Like yes fellow musicians this is a big time music artist he has mainstream america appeal there's english words here. I don't know, I think the intentional choice for the last few bars to be different gives that resolved feeling mroe weight- the words literally change at the end of the song.

It's quiet. It's reflective. It's tight, too, at 3 minutes almost on the dot (Still not optimized for streams and with a full song structure, so I consider it a dub)

I don't have a lot on this one today. I wrote like 70% of this like 2 weeks ago and then just stalled out. But I finished writing something. Allegedly this is progress.

Just remember. You could be dead right now. Go listen to something you love

[justashuckingsimp]

Salty Summer

I hate Minho. His stupid walk, his stupid T-shirt, his stupid smile. Everything about him, and to think he had the nerve to start a rumor about me being obsessed with him, I couldn't be less worried about the guy. Now it's worse because this year we were in the same classes and were placed next to each other in all of them! But there is something about him, that I just can't stand in the best way..

Well that's enough for today Diary,

Y/n out.

I see Minho looking at me through the corner of my eye, I meet his gaze accidentally and he winks at me, something similar to a shiver of warmth and goosebumps spreads through me. What is happening? I never felt like this before around Minho.

"Psst Y/n" he calls me " The teacher has called your name for attendance twice now!" " Oh uhh Present!" I stutter out. Minho laughs and gives me a wink again. He comes closer and whispers in my ear " See you know you need me." I giggle "Only when I need a laugh my cute clown." I see Minho's face go red and his eyes go wide as I realize what I just said. I put my head down head down until the class is over and I could finally go home. Just as sat down in my usual seat in the bus someone plopped in next to me. I didn't have to look to see who it was.

"Hey, uh Y/n, did you wanna talk about what happened back there?"

"Why? There's nothing to talk about."

"Well you flirted with me even though you hate me.. so that's different for you."

"I said there's nothing to talk about, Minho. And why are you sitting here anyway? Where's your whole crew that you have so much fun with? Why do you have to bother me?"

We sat silently for a few minutes until he said,

"Chemistry. We have a chemistry project together."

"Oh."

It was raining by the time the bus stopped at my house, when we got off a notification came to my phone, vibrating it.

It read: "Hey sweetie, I'm going to be working until 12 tonight, but I got some pizza it should be at the house around the time you get home. Love you!"

I let us into the house with the spare keys my mom gave me and closed the door behind us. "Nice digs" said Minho impressed "Oh shut up Minho" said a voice from the kitchen, my older brother, Thomas. "Tommy boy!" Minho exclaimed "Good to see you man." Thomas and Minho had been good friends before Thomas went to college, I guess they still kept the friendship going. "Hey Tom" I said grabbing Minho's arm "Excuse us me and Minho have some Chemistry to work on." Thomas gave me a strange look but let us go up to my room anyway.

"Hey Y/n" he started when we were settled in my room "Yes?" I responded looking him in the eye for the first time since class ended. He inched closer slowly "I just wanted to say sorry, for lying to you, there's no Chemistry project and I'm surprised you didn't question me about it. I just wanted to be alone with you so I could ask you something." Of course there's no chemistry homework, it's the last day of school. How did it slip my mind? "Then ask me." I demanded.

"When. When will you realize how.. important you are to me?" he muttered. "What?" I mumbled "You're joking.. you have to be or.." I allowed myself to trail off but he finished for me.

"Or it would all make sense. Right?" he replied "Right." I muttered it almost silently. "But the real question is, Minho, when was I going to realize how important you are to me?". He looked baffled but managed to respond slyly " And how much is that?". "This much." I said quickly before pulling him into a long kiss fillled with relief and freedom as the kiss got deeper and we held each other closer.

Thomas walked in on us with a surprised but somehow knowing look on his face, wanting to say something but couldn't get any words out. "How many times have I told you to knock dickhead!"

"And how many times have I told you knocking is for pussies?"

"At least pussies can last five damn minutes!"

"Don't be such a sissy! Your pizza's downstairs!"

"Can everyone calm down!" Minho piped up.

"Oh.Mister Minho thinks he can have his first kiss with his 3 year long crush and be in charge now."

"Leave him outta this he's trying to help!"

"Fine you two are good for each other, a couple of sissies." he said dismissively as he left.

"Sorry don't listen to him, he doesn't know anything." I apologized for my older brother. He's only like this when I have guys over.

"Wow.."

"I swear if you say something about how good o a kisser I am for an everything virgin then please-" he put a finger to my lips.

"I was just going to say how I never thought we would actually get here."

"Oh yeah?" I said whiled pacing a peck on his lips "Well here we are".

The End

(If yall want a part 2 lmk)

[genericpuff]

(1) Hello, than you for your posts about Lore Olympus and for recommending the Pyrrhic_Victoria podcast. I'm a very casual reader of the series, at time going months without checking the episodes and it's fascinating how many problems just flew over my head, although I had weird impression when reading the chapter about Persephone defeating Kronos, it felt odd and off (the reporters - just... how?).

Considering you put this into 3 parts, I'll just be responding to all three in one post if that's okay! (hence the copy pastes above!)

The S2 finale was definitely where I really started to go "uhhhhhh" with the series. The trial already had me raising my eyebrows (such as the Eris reveal) but the S2 finale was where I really just started to drop off and lose the love I once had for the series.

ETA: I realize the tone of this post kinda went off but it's a hot button topic of mine that I enjoy talking about so bear with it haha Thank you for wishing me luck with Rekindled, I got big things planned ❤️❤️❤️

To address #2, I actually have a liiiittle bit of beef with that notion. As a writer, I don't think it's necessarily good form to blame the audience for failing to meet expectations. Yes, audience members can come up with some wild theories and expectations especially when it comes to serialized stories like this, but the core of the issue is that LO/Rachel doesn't manage what it sets up well at all. Even the most basic expectations for where the story is going seem to be dropped, expectations that anyone who pays an inch of attention to the series would come up with.

For example, I don't think it was too big of an ask to expect the time skip actually show more than it did. A lot of people were hyped to see Persephone be on her own, forced to do her mother's job, and live up to everything she had bragged about at the start of S2 (about how she had 'peaked' in her mother's duties) not to mention offer her an opportunity to make spring her own. There was also the theory/expectation that it would potentially lead to an actual genuine abduction, through Hades option to go to the Mortal Realm and take her "back" to the Underworld in defiance of Zeus' sentencing.

And of course, there's what happened with the Eros x Psyche myth, the return of Kronos, and the Hymn of Demeter, all of which are stories that not only had setups as far back as S1, but Rachel has butchered within the confines of LO because she wants to try and be "subversive", not realizing that being "subversive" doesn't mean completely screwing over the original meanings of these myths or writing a poorly-constructed story.

These, to me, are not wild expectations to have in the slightest for a comic that's claiming to be a retelling of the taking of Persephone. But LO is as far from being a true retelling as retellings can possibly get. It can hardly even be called fanfiction at this point.

Point is, it's up to the writer to fulfill the expectations they set, and that's a separate thing entirely from an audience setting their expectations "too high". It's not like people are asking for anything that's outside the reasonable realm of what Rachel is tackling, everything that I see people "expecting" is pretty par for the course for the stuff Rachel has noticeably set up (like the return of Kronos, for example).

I see the argument crop up a lot that people should just "lower their expectations" of LO for the sake of enjoying it, but frankly, if I were in Rachel's position, I would be downright insulted and disappointed in myself if I found out my audience had to lower their expectations of me and my work to enjoy it. I don't want an audience out of pity, I want an audience because I've put out a damn good piece of work that's earned that audience. And this isn't something that's unique to me, this is pretty much the viewpoint of every other creator I know, so if Rachel is seriously hiding behind the notion that it's her audience's 'fault' for having their expectations too high, then she's a coward, full stop. She set those expectations herself in a lot of ways, and especially by going so far as to claim LO as a 'retelling' of some of the most beloved myths in literature.

As a writer, it's disrespectful as fuck to see people come up with these kinds of arguments instead of expecting better of someone who claims to be a professional and regularly brags about their awards (which weren't even earned, they were very likely bought).

As an audience member, I shouldn't have to turn off my brain and forgo my own intelligence as a reader to enjoy someone else's work. I'd rather just stop reading it altogether and put that energy into something else far more enjoyable and worth my time.

[sophia-sol]

some of my favourite vids

lirazel expressed interest in a rec list of some of my favourite vids and I am very suggestible when it comes to rec lists so here you go! :D Unfortunately a few of the older vids that I remember fondly are no longer available online for me to share with you (the batman vid set to johnny cash's cover of hurt! the highlander vid about methos/lord byron! and more!), but there are still plenty of excellent vids up and about, and new ones worth watching keep being made!

Yes this rec list is 22 vids long, shush, I couldn't cut any of these out. I just got so emotional in the process of making this rec list at how wonderful an artform the fanvid is! It can do so many different things! It can be so powerful in such a brief space of time!

I've ordered the list below alphabetically by fandom. I go through a lot of different fandoms here!

And it was so fun too to work on practicing my skills at describing a vid and explaining what's good about it; I have many years of practice at talking about written narratives, but interpreting and talking about visual media is still a skillset that I'm not instinctively good at and don't have as much experience with. But I think I did pretty good with these vids. I hope you enjoy them!

(put behind a readmore to keep this post from being overwhelmingly long on your dash!)

1. Problem, by talitha78 Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky/Steve Look I may be totally burnt out on the MCU at this point but damn did CA:TWS have some good fanworks. This is a vid that is gleefully and wholeheartedly throwing itself into depicting Bucky through the lens of of this natalia kills song with a straight face. I still sometimes find myself singing "girl is a problem" to myself about things, because of this vid.

2. All In Together, by odessie The Great British Bake-Off, ensemble This vid encapsulates the spirit of the show (…at least, the show when it was a BBC show, before it moved to Channel 4), which is about everybody being weird, dedicated, enthusiastic, imperfect, and all in it together despite it being ostensibly a competition. "Celebrate your oddities, your art, your own insanity." YEAH. It's so cheering!

3. All We Got, by anoel The Great Gatsby, Daisy/Gatsby One of those where I've read the book but not seen the adaptation, but I feel like watching this vid gives me everything I need from seeing an adaptation of the story! Sharply edited use of the beautiful visuals; really creates the necessary feeling of high energy glitz papering over emptiness, which the book honestly doesn't do a good enough job at lol.

4. Show Me Your Teeth, by Dogstar Hieronymous Bosch's artwork, all of Bosch's weird little guys It's strange, a bit surreal, energetic. My immediate reaction when I first saw this vid was "wtf in the best way." I'm so impressed with how the vidder could make such a compelling vid out of static artwork!

5. God's Gonna Cut You Down, by sholio Highlander, Methos & Cassandra & the horsemen There were so many excellent highlander fanvids back in the day but this is one of the ones that has really stuck with me, with its perfect encapsulation of the complexities of the relationships in the "Comes a Horseman" and "Revelations 6:8" pair of episodes, paired with exactly the right song.

6. In Which Sophie Expresses Her Feelings In The Absence Of Weedkiller, by ryfkah Howl's Moving Castle, Howl/Sophie The vidder took on the challenge of using the movie's footage to make a vid about the book's version of the story, and did an incredible job! I adore this vid and how perfectly it captures Sophie and Howl and their relationship.

7. A Tune Like the End of the World, by frith_in_thorns Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, John Childermass Although I haven't seen the tv show, I have read the book it's based on a LOT, so I can more or less figure out which character is who in the visuals from context, lol. I love how good this vid is at getting the atmosphere of the story right; the atmosphere is such an important part of it!

8. Work This Body, by CherryIce Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, ensemble Just really encapsulates the sense of joy and fun that the movie is all about! I don't know what else to say about it, other than that I have rewatched this vid a ridiculous number of times and it keeps being fun. (Unfortunately the streaming version is no longer available, but it's still up for download!)

9. Let's Go (Young Men Dead), by sweetestdrain Lawrence of Arabia, Lawrence The vid that got me to finally watch the movie, and discover how the movie, despite the various critiques it's worthwhile to make of it, is a really brilliant work of art. And the vid, too, is a brilliant work of art! SO many feelings. It's got the vibes just right, of this enormous, larger-than-life story and the relentless grinding-down of everyone involved, the inevitable despairing end to everything. The way it uses juxtaposition and empty spaces! I get emotional rewatching the vid even now, 8 years after watching the movie.

10. Parachute, by thingswithwings Leverage, Eliot/Hardison/Parker I may not have ever seen the show but I've read enough fanfic to be fully on board for this ot3, and this vid depicts them in the BEST way, the way they love and trust and like and rely on each other, and the joy they have in each other! And it does a beautiful job of highlighting each of the three sides of the triangle as well as the three of them all together, too.

11. Under Pressure, by violace The Martian, ensemble It's a vid about the way so many people come together to save Mark Watney: working together, hoping together, caring together, celebrating together. Still able to touch my cynical little heart in these days of looking at the world around me in despair. Humans WANT to help each other!

12. Landsailor, by raven multifandom, ensembles The vidder describes this vid as an "ode to infrastructure" and that's like. what it is! It's about people coming together to do the hard work of building something bigger than any one of them, and it's so joyful and inspiring, tbh! I am familiar with very few of the fandoms it includes but you don't need to know them to get the gist, to follow the story being told.

13. Oh No!!! by findmeinthealps Nirvana in Fire, Prince Yu Prince Yu has a very bad time in Nirvana in Fire and I love to see it, beautifully framed from his point of view in this vid. Yes I grinned all the way through it. Sorry Prince Yu!! (not sorry.)

14. At Last, by eruthros Salt Fat Acid Heat, Samin Nosrat/food The canon is a delightful 4-episode cooking show. This vid of it is set to the most schmaltzy of old-school love songs, and it is about how much JOY both good food and good friends bring, featuring many loving shots of food plus Samin Nosrat's expressive face, and I just melt into feelings.

15. Soccer Practice, by bironic Stargate: SGA, John/Ronon A silly, delightful vid about sexual innuendo between two bros. Serious and emotional fanvids are so good but sometimes it's great to just lol.

16. Tik Tok, by MissSheenie Star Trek: TOS, ensemble It's a classic for a reason. How could I not include it? As I recall, even Kesha agrees that this vid understands her song.

17. dirty work, by voordeel-ts Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi This vidder is one of the only ones I've seen who can include pieces of the original audio into a vid in a way that actually works for me, the audio incorporated into the music in rhythm so that it all feels of one piece. Their vids are always fast and stylish, and this one is no exception, as it takes a look at Obi-Wan and his use of violence.

18. Start a War, by ifshehadwings (sophie_448) The Untamed, Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao do a lot of their worst stuff behind the scenes, out of the view of the camera, and this vid does an amazing job of bringing that forward and making it legible, focusing on the horrible things each of them do in the name of fulfilling their goals. This is also an excellent example of a vid that uses a slow song and relatively slow cuts and yet never loses its intensity and forward momentum. Hats off!

19. a love that won't sit still, by Aria The Untamed, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian Just the perfect vid of wangxian from Lan Wangji's perspective? holy shit. What DO you do with a love that won't sit still or do what it's told?! And I love the way it incorporates the pain and difficulties of Wei Wuxian's death and the years without him, leading into that last quieter gentler repeat of the chorus that slowly builds back up again.

20. Lose My Breath, by deirdre_c White Nights, Kolya/Ray Sooooo I've never actually seen White Nights BUT. This vid is such a beautiful encapsulation of a relationship between two men being told through the medium of dance. And the way all the dancing and other physicality in the video is made to feel like it belongs with the vid's song is just so seamless! The way the whole thing just feels so grounded in their bodies and the way that the two of them play off each other! I could watch it forever.

21. Such A Loser, by sandalwoodbox Yuri!!! On Ice, ensemble The show made me care so much about all the skaters, and want all of them to win, which of course is impossible. But this vid uses a joke song from a parody music duo to somehow perfectly encapsulate the way that all the characters' striving is worth celebrating, whether they win or not. Super heartwarming!

22. Never Look Away, by helcinda Yuri on Ice, Viktor/Yuuri Wow, the experience of watching this ship vid is just me making a heart-eyes face at my computer screen the whole time. Highly recommend the experience!

[rondo-of-blog]

Holy Seven Subscriptions, Batman!

So I’ve been reading a lot of comics lately. Like, a lot of comics. I’ve been going out on a limb, and honestly? It’s paid off! Yes, I’ve gotten to read solid comic book storytelling recently - and lots of it. And what do I have to show for it?

Seven different subscriptions to DC comics series, and one to a Marvel comic series. :’)

[Spoilers for various comics! If you see the title of a book you don’t wanna get spoiled on, leave!]

If you’ve been following me for the past several months, you’ve probably heard me rave about the current ongoing Catwoman comic series as it’s been written by Tini Howard. You’ve probably also heard me blab about the latest Harley Quinn series since Tini Howard took it over. Both comics are absolute delights that I’ve had a blast with, but that I’ve also talked at length about, so… won’t be going into that. Not this time, at least.

And that includes you, Betsy Braddock: Captain Britain, also written by Tini Howard!

So what does that leave us? Well, why don’t we start with Batman! Written by Chip Zdarsky. At this point I really should start expecting it, but I keep being surprised by just how dang much I’m enjoying myself with this series! It’s got action, it’s got Batman coming down from the Moon to land back on Earth, it’s got it all!

With stories as convoluted as the series has been telling, I really would’ve thought it all would’ve come unraveled several issues ago—after all, how the hell could a story take Batman to the Moon, back to Earth, into another damn dimension, rapidly jumping through several damn dimensions, and then back to whatever we call main Earth??? By doing it all very well, apparently!

Next we have Poison Ivy, which I read on the glowing recommendation of my partner in life and in love, Cluster! I spent weeks telling them I’d get around to reading it eventually, then one day this past week I went and read all 13 issues that’re out right now. And what’s there to say about them? Well…

They’re great! They’re all fucking great! I’ve never blown through 13 issues so quickly, but G. Willow Wilson had such an impressive story to tell that I couldn’t stop for anything. Pamela’s great in it, so is Harley when she eventually shows up, and so is… Batman! Didn’t know he’d be part of this series, but it works!

G. Willow Wilson is another writer, like Tini Howard, where whenever I see her write a character I just want to see her write them all the time. I dunno, if perhaps they could just hand the keys to the whole damn DC Universe to these gals I think we’d be onto something!

Besides that, Cluster and I finally said “what the hell” and read through all 9 issues that’re currently out of The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing. The verdict?

It made us laugh~

To be more specific, Matthew Rosenberg does an excellent job of making a hilarious and entertaining Joker comic series that features a metric fuck-ton of Joker in it. There’s so much of The Joker, there’s actually two men called The Joker in it!… Or three. Well, the third one was impersonating the first one. Or is it the second one?

It’s these sorts of questions that any Joker series worth its seltzer would have readers asking! I’m really glad we’ve taken a chance on this series, after spending months joking about its very silly title that doesn’t seem to actually tie into the story itself so far. We’ll see if there’s any further developments on that front later!

Last month and this month, however, I started on two brand new limited series! Limited series that I wish were ongoing series, and that I hope end up becoming ongoing series when they hopefully do ridiculously-well! I am of course referring to the latest volume of Cyborg, and Steelworks!

For Cyborg, I’m really interested to see where it goes. Morgan Hampton made known his intentions of taking Vic in a direction we’ve not seen before, ahead of issue #1’s release, and the sudden death of Vic’s father Silas proved he meant it.

While Silas died very early on in the original continuity Vic lived in, his presence after the New 52 reboot was used to great effect in David F. Walker’s Cyborg issues. Lots of work was done expanding on their fraught relationship, but it looks like we’ve closed the book on that before it could reach a happy ending… or have we???

There’s a lot to take in, a brief appearance from the Titans that made my heart swell, and overall I felt like the first issue set us up nicely for a damn good story—one that, again, I’d love to see turn into an ongoing series, but we can’t have everything all the time.

Steelworks had another strong beginning with issue #1, which came out… this month! I’d been anticipating it since its initial announcement, and Michael Dorn did not disappoint in the writing department. I’d also like to give a special shoutout to Sami Basri and Andrew Dalhouse for their contributions in the art department (line art and coloring, respectively)!

It’s not every day I get to read a comic that just looks as good as comics used to back when I was taking good comic art for granted, but Steelworks #1 is a damn good-looking comic! With art this solid, there’s nothing interrupting me from getting sucked into the story - and damn if this isn’t the beginning of a story that immediately grabbed me!

Something that’s easy to take for granted, but that not every comic manages to pull off, is telling a story that wins you over on its ideas. Maybe this is just me being picky, but I’ve read a comic or two in the past year that’ve gone really hard on the moral core of a story that I just… really can’t relate to. You’d think superhero comics wouldn’t have such a hard time being relatable to someone who doesn’t want people to spend the rest of their natural lives rotting in prison or whatnot, but you’d be surprised.

Steelworks #1 starts with a bang. With ideas that’re bold, and probably outside the realm of what people usually look for in a superhero comic, but that I can honestly sympathize with. No one comes off as a two-dimensional cardboard cutout, everyone feels real and able to be connected with at least on some level.

It’s a limited series, but if it does well enough? Who knows what could happen. In this case, I don’t know that they could’ve gotten Michael Dorn for longer than just a limited series’ run, so there are benefits to the format!

So yeah. That’s now seven subscriptions to DC comics series, to only one that Marvel’s been able to put out.

Does DC know it doesn’t have to be winning so hard at comics? It would’ve been fine if they were just putting out a couple good series here and there, which I thought they were before I gave these other series a try. Turns out, they’re really putting out some quality shit!

And I still have Superman: The Last Days of Lex Luthor to start picking up next month! Geez!

I’m a very happy camper when it comes to comics, nowadays. Right now, I only have one comic series I pick up every month that routinely and utterly disappoints me. I may end up writing about it on this blog, in lieu of tweeting, what with how its fanbase just loves to tank my mental health with threats & harassment!

Until next time!

---

By the way, you can now read the blog on my website, at https://feliciarondo.com/rondo-of-blog. Check it out! :)

[skayafair]

Ok S3 let's go *ooph*

Live impressions below (yes it's another wall of text)

Ok I still have like 1\4 of the episode to go but I just need to vent out a bit because HOLY HELL.

What the actual fuck.

I mean I do find myself being correct most the time lately since I've started to trust my gut instinct more instead of doubting every thought and idea, like I've been surprisingly in tune with The Sheridan Tapes, it still blows my mind, - or hearing nearly exact words I've typed in the latest Malevolent ep - from and about John, that was surprising, too, but I just concluded we're pretty much alike in personality so that partially explains it, I think, and HG is pretty good at depicting the characters, so I just must have caught a few hints.

But to be THIS spot on??? I mean I've just typed that long-ass post yesterday, and I WAS going to listen to the show from season 1 again first before proceeding to S3, buuut then I had to wash the dishes, and it's unbearably boring, and I didn't manage to make myself do it in more than 3 hours, my ADHD be damned. I needed something interesting to drive me, so there wasn't much choice since I've caught up with TST earlier this evening and mirror house host story wasn't very interesting to me, alas. So here I was, turning S3 on before refreshing my memory on everything that happened before.

And. I'm baffled. Positively.

The emotions are a bit too much so they don't want to get out through the bottle neck of thoughts, sorry

First of all, I laughed out loud when Beckett said Cass is no longer the team leader. Because - what??? I mean. This is rational, that's what I've typed a whole post about, it's logical and actually very reasonable and I believe is going to be beneficial for Cass as well, they need this weight off their shoulders at least formally, it's not like they are going to stop looking out for everyone.

But at the same time - WHAT???

I expected something like... toning down this whole thing a little? or something like that?.. but CERTAINLY not removing them from the post and the team altogether! My reaction was pretty much the same as team Alpha's, save for the disbelieveing laughing.

Oh, this is SUCH a great twist! I'm having the time of my life.

Firstly, I love being right. And if even a part - not the best but still sorta rational - of the show itself agrees I've read the character and their position correctly, it's a real boost. I'm very much used to not getting clues and, well, generally everything, especially about people (which includes characters as well), hence my interest in psychology, so following the writers idea by simply making conclusions that are natural for my way of thinking is. It's so validating you have no idea. don't mind me I'm trying to catch my breath here among the racing thoughts and a chaos of emoitions

Secondly, this twist was completely unexpected. While, yes, I've seen it done before - like with Shiro in VLD (although we don't talk about VLD writing in this house), it was different and not so out of blue. In the show, it's kind of a pretty obvious idea, but I didn't expect them to actually go THIS far??? That's bold! Logical, natural, but bold! Wow. So great. I positively love the team working on this podcast.

Thirdly, my mind was blown when Cass actually agreed to this in the first place (were they the one who proposed it? With their guilt and all that?). In retrospect, in a few seconds after the revelation when I had time to think it over, this made perfect sense, too, but I still didn't expect that. I guess I never noticed how much I missed the unexpected twists which weren't just because, but completely natural and logical, just another option out of several possible. This decision goes veeeerry well with Cass' character but there was always a chance the sense of duty will outweight. And, well, they are back on their feet in no time after Silas' pep talk, already talking about what's best for the team. So this expectation wasn't unreasonable, either, and got confirmed, just a bit later and in another way. I'm just giddy at this point.

And then we've got LIZZIE. Oh my goodness. It was just one twist after another, how didn't I get a mental whiplash? Who says I didn't, what a great rollercoaster. She was probably the last person I would have expected to be appointed as the team leader, although it's actually not a bad choice in a lot of ways but one. I don't think she's a natural leader, like... she can if she has to but wouldn't if she doesn't? She's not a people person. This again reminds me of VLD with Keith as the Black paladin and Shiro as the backseat driver, but, again, the writing in VLD left much to be desired and didn't explore... practically anything. So, I'm really counting on THIS show to show how it's done. So far it's been mind-blowingly great.

Considering team Alpha consists of indiviluals who generally won't take any shit from others and prefer to think for themselves first and foremost - Lizzie should do fine. She's pretty cautios and careful, more rational, but at the same time has infinite curiosity for these new worlds. Still not the most obvious choice but I believe they'll work out the dynamic between everyone somehow.

And this leadership situation is actually very interesting in a way that it's never been very conventional.

Like in my last post, when I struggled at first to understand what was Cass' role as the leader at all. Then I pinpointed it and it made sense. But they never told others what to do on the general scale - they're the heart, the emotions, the driving force, the enthusiasm, the dare.

However, Greg had a lot of authority from the get-go, too. And this is natural - he's the most experienced in dangerous situations (although not in the wild life setting) and he was actually the one responsible for everyne's safety. So we already have two people for that. Sure, Greg wasn't always taken seriously enough, but he DID have a say in their decisions.

Next, there's Silas. Not the most obvious candidate but he started supporting Cass and then, gradually, everyone, and he was the one making rounds to check on the teammates every time there was the need. The carer of the group? Sort of? And he influenced Cass' decisions more and more as the time passed. I love how it's executed! *giggles and jumps in place*

So there are three figures at the heart of everything already, and the group is small, just 6 people. 2,5 heads with well-distributed responsibilities is actually pretty good for such a number. Plus J has an indisputable authority in everything that considers physical health. This leaves only Alyx, the team's little sis everyone wants to protect and a hacker, and Lizzie.

Honestly it's the most difficult to say what her part was because with time she sort of drifted more and more away from everyone? Sure she cares for Alyx quite noticeably, discusses some decisions with Cass from time to time, but that's it. And she's the only one who's been hostile towards other team members - first it was Cassius (which was very understandable, I'd have been furious, too), then Silas, and this last beef is a total mystery to me. What's her problem with him? I'm not particularly fond of him either but uh... he's okay? And has a lot of good sides, too? Why such an open animosity? So, Lizzie became team's outcast or someone like that. Hi again Keith!

Which illustrates perfectly why I didn't expect her to be appointed as the leader. It does make sense from Yanus' perspective - she collaborated with Vincula the most before, she's calm-er than Cassius (yeah the anxiety and sensitivity aside, uh-huh, and there's impulsiveness, too, when she sees a particularly inspirational new species - is Lizzie ND or am I making things up?..), seems responsible but not that hard to knock down a peg if necessary. Meaning, easier to push to where Yanus needs team Alpha to be. Orrr that's what they probably expect.

But the decision to remove Cass from the team altogether was just... the team has already lost one of their heads - Greg. Lost tragically, this hit everyone about as hard as I imagined. Thanks for not disappointing in this department. To remove another one meant this is just a bunch of people with no center, so to put someone more easy to manipulate as one was a brilliant and soul-crashing decision. Wow, the show keeps inventing new ways to hate the higher-ups with each passing episode!

I mean, that's approxiately how Beckett should have seen this. I bet no one outside the team expected Silas to rebel :DDD The guy grew some teeth and they didn't notice, nice! Or rather Silas reminds me of the kind of people who stay silent and compliant as long as it doesn't go against their core values and beliefs personally. THEN shit hits the fan and good luck trying to psych your way out of the conflict. I think Michella in Kekkai Sensen put it the best way possible, calling her brother "a tortoise knight": he may not go forward, he can be scared to death but if something strikes the right cord, he won't back down an inch. And this is what happened. Silas provided the first angry spark because boooy was he furious (and I LIKED that a lot! Let him vent out more!), which immediately yanked everyone else out of their bewilderment after hearing the news and made them start opposing the decision as well. Yaaaay, this was SO satisfying <3

And when Lizzie chimed in. Girl I may have my doubts about what's going on with you but in that moment I clouldn't care less. THE QUEEN <3

And I'm tired of typing so I probably won't go on for much longer because the whole episode is just like that. What a banger of a season opening! I'm sort of always cautious about these because there are quite a lot of cases when after the break things change, and I don't always like the way they they go further. NOT the case here. I was listening to the most of S1 & 2 smiling all the time just because of how enjoyable and in line with what I usually like they were. To get so much more in S3 is just. Wow. I'm so happy.

Buuut I can't help mentioning the pep talk. It was beautiful. I like their interactions so much. Please let the dynamic go on like this, it's rare for me as aroace spec not to miss any links in relationship which are supposed to be romantic? Are they?.. I'm so not sure but this one feels natural to me and I'd always be glad to have this.

[callipraxia]

Books Read, May 2023

I've thought of starting a book blog before, but alas - I never have enough to say when I don't have someone to bounce off of, or at least can't figure out how to say it. Plus, I mostly read nonfiction, so...probably not the most thrilling reviews. In lieu of that...here's what I read in May.

Courting Scandal: The Rise and Fall of Jane Boleyn, Lady Rochford - James Taffe

Jane Boleyn: The True Story of the Infamous Lady Rochford - Julia Fox

Young and Damned and Fair: The Life of Catherine Howard, Fifth Wife of King Henry VIII - Gareth Russell

Inside the Tudor Court: Henry VIII and His Six Wives Through the Writings of the Spanish Ambassador Eustace Chapuys - Lauren Mackay

Wolsey: The Life of King Henry VIII's Cardinal - John Matusiak

Cardinal Wolsey - Mandell Creighton

Remembering Wolsey: A History of Commemorations and Representations - J. Patrick Hornbeck II.

The Life and Death of Thomas Wolsey Cardinal: Once Archbishop of York and Lord Chancellor of England - Sir William Cavendish

Obviously, I got 'on a tangent,' as I do sometimes. I've gathered this may have something to do with the ADHD, though not from particularly official sources, so don't quote me on that. In this case, it was partially a return to old tangents; while I'd not read the last three books on this list before, my reading journal indicates I previously went on a bit of a tangent on the subject of Cardinal Wolsey in February and March of 2021. I was also immensely pleased, in my Kindle recommendations earlier this month, to find a book on Chapuys; he was always one of those background figures in the historical fictions I read as a kid that I wished I knew more about. Gotta read his letters myself sometime, since it seems, from the Google, that they can be viewed online in English translation.

I'll give Lauren Mackay this: she's much more honest than a lot of authors are when she reached places where the information simply no longer exists, or at least hasn't been recovered yet. There was enough 'prose' to keep it interesting, but not excessive attempts to state things about the ambassador that she couldn't back up with evidence. This, I felt, was in sharp contrast to Julia Fox; I loved the descriptions of the court, the attempts to tell a story, and these things definitely have a place in history-writing, but here they were fairly blatantly...fluffy, I suppose. Now, I'm hardly one to complain of fluff, rather fond of soft things myself, but it was glaringly obvious, when she said Lady Rochford must have been thinking or feeling something, that she was essentially filling in the blanks with a story of her own devising. Sometimes the 'costume' of historicity the text wore was something it looked 'comfortable' in and sometimes it was quite obviously a poorly-researched French hood shoved awkwardly onto the head of an actress with zero knowledge of sixteenth century fashion and how to wear it, but there were always leaps from one point to another. In contrast to that, I felt that Gareth Russell balanced his reader-drawing prose fluff with his historical analysis much more adeptly when considering Catherine Howard; I've read his book more than once over the past couple of years and expect I'll read it again in years to come. I came away with no impression of James Taffe's work, alas, except that he clearly wrote his book as an exasperated rebuttal to Julia Fox; I was, unfortunately, very sleep-deprived when I read that, so I'll have to read it again sometime. My lack of sleep, however, is not why I read the rebuttal first and the book it was responding to second...even though I'd had Fox's book in my physical TBR shelves for several years and only stumbled across Taffe's the day I bought it. I'm told I've always had a tendency to do things in the wrong order and somehow make it work anyway, so why mess with a good system at this point?

As for one book being a rebuttal to another - here we come to one of my favorite things about reading history, which is to say, how often historians blatantly attack or support each other in their writing. In the last couple of chapters of Remembering Wolsey, I was irrationally delighted to see the author offer opinions on every book I read during my 2021 tangent as well as one of the ones I read this time around. It's amusing (to me) to sort of...get to know the different personalities: "hm, yes, I can see why someone would say that about Ives," or "yeah, I never did get Starkey's position on that, all things considered," or "ha, that was almost the exact same thing I said two years ago about Ridley!" It's...oddly cozy, I suppose.

Hornbeck was especially interesting as he wasn't writing about what happened - he was writing about the trends in how people have remembered what happened over the past few centuries. There were interesting thoughts on historical fiction throughout, especially near the end; that one may warrant a full independent review, if I can muster the energy to write it out. For now, however - there's all the reading I did in May.

[v171]

My year in books, 2022

It's that exciting time of year where I get to go into too much detail about all of the books I read this year, so strap in for a lot of stats observations, ranting, and not enough gushing.

This wasn't a great reading year for me. Not only did I not read as much as I would have liked (40 books compared to last years 50, and 2020's 60), but I also just didn't like as many books as I usually do.

I do a combination of pulling Goodreads books stats, The Story Graph book stats, and my own book tracking that I'll get into. Let's start high level.

Recitatif was only 19 pages?? I don't think that's right. But Oathbringer is definitely right. I think it took me over a month to finish.

I'll probably repeat myself here, but in an effort to achieve my goal of 40 books while I dragged my feet all year, I kind of loaded up on very short books. So my average book length of 334 makes sense, but would probably be a bit bigger had I had actually just picked up books I wanted to read rather than books just to pad my numbers.

Station Eleven being most shelved?? That was a bit of a surprise considering I read Oathbringer and some other literary heavy hitters like Recitatif, and the Earthsea trilogy. Least shelved being Infinite Ground perhaps makes sense. It's a niche book in a niche genre, but I really loved it. I think I would have expected some others to be a bit less popular, like The Silence or Enter The Aardvark.

Average rating of 3.5.. hmm yeah I guess. My ratings tend to be a bit weighted towards the higher stars because I simply stop reading a book when I don't like it, and I don't rate books I don't finish so I have few 1 and 2 star ratings.

Always impressed by the insanely high ratings Sanderson books get on Goodreads.

HOBOY The Poppy War, I completely forgot I read this first this year. Looking back at my review of this book, I was way too gentle and forgiving for the complete shit that it is.

I still find it interesting how my audiobook/physical divide has shifted over the years, largely due to COVID since I don't listen to them in the car anymore. But I'd have expected, working from home, I would have listened to more audiobooks while I worked. But with the shift in my kind of work, it has become harder to listen to anything while I work these days.

5 Books by Becky Chambers! Yeah that makes sense considering I pushed through her Wayfarer books and picked up the Tea Monk and Robot sequel. Damn I love her books, what a fuckin GOAT. I'm actually surprised there were so many authors on this list, I don't know that I typically read books by the same author in rapid succession, but it was my "Year of Series," so it's now wholly unexpected to have many repeat authors this year.

I would like to try to read more nonfiction next year, but we'll see. This year was supposed to be the Year of Series, and I think I did a good enough job with that, but I could have done better and I really shouldn't make promises that I don't plan on keeping to myself.

This tracks. First and foremost, I'm a SFF girly. Contemporary Fiction being 3rd I GUESS makes sense, but I tend to dump books under that genre when I'm just not quite sure how to classify them.

As expected, ratings are skewed high, but I'm still surprised about how clean of a skew it is. I do think I might have been a bit generous with some of those 4 star ratings though, I have a bad habit of feeling guilty about rating books kinda low. My 4 star rating is supposed to mean "I really liked this book," and thinking back holistically, I don't think there were a lot of books this year that I "really liked." So I'm probably just a liar.

I love these rating breakdown graphs because they really illustrate my preference for genres. I am such a slut for science fiction, I read more 5 star SF that I read books in most other genres. Also interesting to see here that I didn't seem to have a great Fantasy reading year. Mostly 1s, 2s, and 3s.

This breakdown looks like it confirms what I want to be true: that by ratings aren't really biased by book length. I like to think I allow the story to influence my attitudes alone rather than get bogged down with how long it is, unlike some people who live in the same house as me who instantly drops a star rating for every page over 100.

I like this breakdown chart too because I like to look for pattern in my attitude during the year. Doesn't look like there's a lot to observe here other than the fact that I didn't read at all in September and most of October (was traveling out of the country for half of Sept. and catching up on work in October). But again, I also didn't read as much as I usually do this year, so maybe a pattern would emerge with more data. August looks like a funny hot-and-cold month with the books being almost evenly split between 2 and 4/5 stars.

This shows a bit more about the book/page breakdown and how you can see how much I overemphasized shorter books toward the end of the year. You can basically track where I decided to pick up some epic fantasy books (January-Jade City and Poppy War, May-Oathbringer), where the pages exceed the expected number of books, and the opposite months where the number of books exceed the expected number of pages per book (April, November, December). You can basically see me panic to finish the 40 books in November/December where I was averaging 100-150 page books so I could hit my goal. I hate feeling rushed, I need to be more disciplined about it.

And that's basically it! To wrap up, here's all the books I read this year. I'll have a few more posts to make about some of the specific books I read, loved, hated, or otherwise had some strong emotions about.