#I love painting but also there’s now paint everywhere. I will never recover
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Slay the Princess Art submission!!!
#I messed up on the eye like five times#I don’t know why I did it last on a black background#i really enjoy this#I love painting but also there’s now paint everywhere. I will never recover#I spent hours on those feathers only to smudge white paint on them and I was never more anguished.#slay the princess#stp#the long quiet#painting#art#<3#:)
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ARCTIC MONKEYS 25/06/23
okay now that i've had some time to (slightly) emotionally and physically recover from yesterday, i need to flail about the highlights:
1) meeting one of my absolute favourite humans who i would never have got to know if it hadn't been for this little corner of tumblr - and then getting to share the excitement/nerves/elation/exhaustion rollercoaster of seeing am with them was just - there aren't even words for it. so special 💖
2) learning how to navigate rain ponchos
3) impulse buying too much merch (but also not regretting it. the glasgow tour poster is going to be the first thing going on my wall in my new flat)
4) the mirrorball starting to twirl just before they all came onstage and sending the colours of the afternoon sun everywhere
5) the sheer rush of the moment they all walked onstage together (also that was pretty much the only time i got to glimpse nick and matt at all 💔 from where i was standing i could mostly only see alex and jamie)
6) seeing alex a few metres away in real life after months of looking at his beautiful, dorky little expressions in photos/videos was surreal in the best possible way- there's just something so different about the way you get a sense of someone's energy when you're in the same space with them?? and as someone who's endlessly interested in people, i'm fascinated by how alex simultaneously gives off really reserved, self-contained vibes at the same time as being such a dynamic and captivating performer - like he’s so good at tapping into emotions without letting them be a door into how he’s actually feeling (if that makes any sense, my post-gig brain is not very articulate) i guess that all very much makes sense with all the stuff he's said about personas/performing, but it was still so interesting to get to really feel that sense of his presence in live time. he's definitely very much in control but in a very understated kind of way
7) a bunch of birds circling overhead on one side of the crowd, alex seeing them and dramatically declaring 'release the rest of the birds'
8) me and the lovely human i went with turning to each other with expressions of sheer joy when the opening bars of crying lightning were played (and don't sit down. and four stars. and arabella. and - you get the picture. getting to share the sheer delight of your favourite songs being played is just the loveliest feeling 💗)
9) alex doing a quirky little 'ha ha' laugh in the middle of body paint
10) mirrorball coinciding with the most beautiful pink dusk and half moon just above the stage, and getting to witness alex’s piano playing at the start of it
11) body paint. just. body paint. i think my soul left my body.
12) how much energy and enthusiasm alex seemed to have throughout the set - especially after the last week or so it was just the loveliest thing to see him messing about and having fun. and his voice sounded SO good. how anyone manages to sing like that (let alone sound like that less than a week after cancelling shows due to laryngitis) is an absolute mystery to me
13) alex's theatrical hand gestures for crying lightning (the one for gobstopper was a particular favourite)
14) hearing 505 when dusk has just fallen and you can see the smudged moon behind the deep indigo clouds is the only way anyone should ever hear 505
15) alex and matt having a giggle about something mid set
16) obviously i was aware of how stupidly talented they all are - but there's something about seeing it unfold in front of you in real time that makes it really hit you. the sound wasn't great where i was for some of the time so i don't feel like i got the best audio sense of everything, but i was just so struck in particular by matt on the drums and also alex with his guitar playing. i feel like when i'm just listening to their records i'm so busy listening to alex's voice that i forget how incredible a guitar player he is and - wow. just. yeah. it honestly took my breath away.
17) getting the distinct impression that it provides alex with a sense of amusement to deliberately do that thing where he sings the lyrics at slightly different speeds to trip the crowd up
18) even though i ended up being in significant pain for the second half of the set and had to go find somewhere a little further back where i could lean against the railings (chronic pain conditions and standing for 6+ hours apparently isn't the best mix), nothing could dull how magical it was hearing all the tracks from the car that they played closer to the end. standing there in the dusk and feeling so much about everything is something i'll never forget. it truly brought home to me so poignantly everything about why am's music means so much to me and how much love i have for them 💜
19) being in the exact line of direction alex blew kisses to at the end
20) the hazy post-gig walking in the dark under lit up green trees with the lovely human i went with and our conversations about am and creativity and the courage of sharing music 💖
#i'm honestly still processing the fact that it really happened#it was amazing#though i'm trying not to be frustrated with myself for my chronic pain kicking in when they were on#i had a couple of songs where i was like 'why can't i just enjoy this like a normal person'#but then the music took over and brought me back to myself#so yes#i wish i'd been feeling amazing for all of it#but it was still amazing even if i wasn't feeling amazing for every second of it#and i'm so so happy i went and got to share it with such an amazing human#💜#i’ve been swinging between riding a high and post gig blues all day so forgive me if any of this is incoherent#also#i know these photos are blurry as hell but i’d still appreciate it if people don’t repost them without my permission#arctic monkeys#alex turner#matt helders#jamie cook#nick o'malley#am glasgow 2023#lulu posts
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FFXIV Write day 28 - Deleterious
WoLG'raha - Toxic edition Middle of Endwalker
Deleterious : harmful often in a subtle or unexpected way
———————
My inspiration.
That’s what he had been called, once, and then a few more times after. Sometimes he would stare at the source of those words from afar, look at him smile and be a bit shy, do his best to try to fit with what he considers some of the best people he could’ve found.
Heroes all of them.
And then those crimson eyes find him, and he can’t stand his devoted look, the amount of love and admiration he finds within that gaze.
So he grumbles and walks away.
————
It is never lost on him how G’raha yearns to accompany him everywhere, how he is always ready for anything as long as he goes along.
Sometimes he wonders what would it take for the other man to realize that he is not what he pictures, what he refuses to see, what he keeps painting over with his idealistic dreams and a hundred years of idealization — he never ends up acting on those impulses because he does not want to hurt him.
Far from it.
Which is more the reason why every single interaction with him kills him inside, slowly.
——————
They fight — a lot.
It all started because of a passing comment while he was recovering still, another scolding, a joking one and yet it had been the last straw.
Screaming came, and then unsaid grievances came, yelling and grabbing each other with the need to make the other understand and stop being so fucking stupid.
And there’s no hiding it, as much as he wants to run away from the truth, he knows the reality — as much as he hates how their relationship seems to advance, he knows he does nothing to stop it. Because he likes this.
It hurts.
Every word of devotion, the willingness to die for him, the readiness to claim he is a Hero. The pressure that he is the inspiration, the reason G’raha endured for a hundred years, and yet he cannot be, truly, what the other man wants and needs. He is not the Hero who died fighting, he is not the Hero who had songs and myths made for him in a distant cold and bleak future.
He is just himself.
And when he finds G’raha again, after yet another fight — he wants to yell at him, be angry, demand that he stop putting him on a pedestal he doesn’t want to be. To stop looking at him like he has answers to everything, like he can stop whatever the world, the fate, the entire Universe throws at them.
“…You’re a fucking idiot.” The Warrior of Light can’t stop himself and he makes G’raha wince and then frown, but before he can even complain, Brucie has already grabbed him by the clothes.
There’s a hug, so tight, using way too much strength to the point he worries he may hurt G’raha but…but… “You’re my idiot, though…so I guess this is just my lot now…”
The other miqo’te sighs, his eyes are closed and he hugs his inspiration back, “One day you could try to not attack me on sight…”
“…That is never going to happen, and you know that…I love you, but you’re infuriating, and annoying. And…” G’raha pushes Brucie away, softly. “What?”
“…You’re also an idiot.”
They both stare at each other, and then they laugh softly, because this is stupid. This is childish to a point — and unhealthy. They don’t talk about their actual issues, they don’t touch the root of the problem.
They just accept that they both use the other, as much as the other might want to deny or claim that…well, that was never the intention. But somehow they work. They fit. They’re not fine and it will be a long time before they’re fine — and maybe, that day…
They can truly love the other for who they are and not the shadow of what they yearn for.
#ffxivwrite2024#my writing: ffxiv#Collection: Brucie WoL#Story Tag: Toxic G'rahaWoL#Behold how to cats are idiots#:) they're not getting better anytime soon
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4, 28, and 61 for the Tav ask game? I'm especially interested in her reaction to Auntie Ethel considering her background with hags
[ weeps into the void - thank you for these ones, I loved fleshing these thoughts out; overly verbose answers below the cut 💜 ]
4. Is there a reason why your Tav starts out at level 1?
Straight up fear, my dude; Mavis is so scared that [REDACTED] is potentially in danger after seeing them in her scrying mirror with a mindflayer, and then the additional stress of the Nautiloid experience with seeing that made her live with one of her worst fears - becoming useless and forgetting everything she worked to avoid.
She is nervous and skittish on the Nautiloid - she's trying not to have a panic attack until she runs into Lae'zel, whose straightforward attitude in the face of danger eases her fears some; but like an artist putting too much pressure on themselves experiencing skill regression, she has to ease back into everything and spends a lot of time rereading old journals to calm her mind and reassure herself that she is still competent and just needs to keep going.
28. What does your Tav think of Auntie Ethel? What do they tell Mayrina?
Immediate gut feeling that something is off, but tries to keep it to herself in hopes that she is overthinking things due to stress and plays nice initially to be cautious given what she has experienced - especially after speaking with Pandirna and removing the curse on her.
Attempting to save face with Ethel when meeting Mayrina's brothers, Mavis takes her side in the argument and knocks the brothers out - she knows the distraught drive to save a loved one too well. But when the illusion finally falls and she meets Ethel again, Mavis is... defensive, to say the least, and overly protective of Mayrina despite her pleas. But she also knows that she can't outsmart Ethel and is extremely hesitant to go after her when she takes Mayrina, only proceeding after she thinks about her brothers trying to do it themselves once they recover.
Mavis wants to kill Ethel, almost desperately; she wants to take out all of her frustration and grief on her, but knows that it's never that easy to get rid of someone like her, and she doesn't want the fear of a vengeful hag looming over her - not right now.
She begrudgingly spares the hag for the sake of Mayrina, and firmly tells Mayrina to be careful before giving her the wand for Connor; when encountered again in the city, Mavis knocks Ethel out and cuts Vanra from her stomach to save her - despite the Hag's Bane remaining in her bag, unused - before finally finishing Ethel for good.
She is tired, cranky, and wants a nap real bad, but also feels a weight lifted off her - she sleeps like the dead that night.
61. How does your Tav feel about Baldur's Gate? Is it their home? Is it their first time in the city?
Mavis did not grow up in Baldur's Gate, but had heard plenty from listening to her mother talk about it in stories and song while living in Silverymoon in her youth. Mavis had been making her way towards Baldur's Gate (albeit not very efficiently, since she continuously went off course to follow any wild leads and rumors of forgotten or weird magic incidents or to find a new book) because she believed that surely, eventually, [REDACTED] would end up Halfway to Everywhere, just like they said in their childhood.
Mavis does bump into [REDACTED] at the Circus of the Last Days shortly after they had just completed the Test of Love with Zethino, both them and their companion adorned with face paint; Mavis and [REDACTED] are both too invested in their conversations with their companions to see each other before they colide together, causing Mavis to lose her footing and tumble down - when [REDACTED] offers a hand down to help her up, they apologize saying "I hope I didn't break anything of yours" and Mavis is quick to shake it off and take their hand without thought.
[REDACTED] makes a comment about really liking her keyhole ring and jokes that "it better not be cursed - I hate curses" as they pull her up - when Mavis hears that and finally sees that it's [REDACTED] as she meets their eye, she nervously mumbles that "sometimes curses aren't so bad" and apologizes for not paying attention before letting them carry on their way. Gale makes a comment that they sure seem colorful and fun, but he would never be caught dead in face paint like that; Mavis laughs, looks back to them and says "yeah, they seem happy" before taking Gale's hand and continuing with "and that sounds like a challenge to me" as they walk on to do their own Test of Love.
Once she makes it into the city, she is... Homesick, perhaps is the best way to put it. She enjoys parts of the city, and parts of the people, but seeing it in the state it was in with what she had learned on her journey overall tarnished it a bit; Mavis does appreciate their resilience nevertheless, and later seeing [REDACTED] and their companion laughing over drinks at a tavern after the city is safe again makes her appreciate the city in a different way - it's not perfect and it's not what she imagined as a kid, but it certainly does bring people together in remarkable and unexpected ways and truly is Halfway to Everywhere.
Mavis does not talk to [REDACTED] in the tavern, but does finally tell Gale who they are as she shares some Silverymoon Blue that she had been keeping safe for a special occasion with him while they celebrate; Gale laughs and says that Mavis may have a type, and she feigns taking offense as she tells him that "all the best breakthroughs start with a rough blueprint" before kissing him and leaving the tavern together, leaving her scrying mirror necklace on the table at the tavern.
BONUS: enjoy a lil personal favorite track to enjoy with question 61's answer 💜
#ask game#baldur's gate oc#baldur's gate tav#bg3 oc#bg3 tav#mavis lytte#maeve lysse#wisdom check#ask
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Demon Bride Ch35 When In Rome- Or A Demon Dimension
(Warnings!!: Mentioning of death, illnesses, suicide, killing and abandonment in Akaza's backstory. ALSO DB Akaza's backstory is changed slightly to fit the au surroundings more.)
"You're really sure you can walk by yourself? You fainted for a few minutes." A blue tipped hand gently held your head, concern in those golden blue eyes. "Are you sure you don't need a doctor? Or want me to carry you? Or some water-"
"Akaza. I'm perfectly fine now. As long as you don't push me into your chest again."
"Is that it? Did I accidentally smother you making you lose air?! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I forget my own strength sometimes."
"You didn't squeeze the air out of me so calm down.. Although you might've smothered me a bit."
You had thankfully survived your 'death by abs' encounter Akaza gave you you, although it did take you a few minutes to recover but now you were here standing with the last remains of red fading away from your face as you dusted yourself off and took a giant breath before turning back to the one green eyed demon who never stopped smiling in that spoiled-suck up smug 'i think I'm better than you' way. His old features made him look much older than Akaza but not as old as Mr. Hantengu. He looked to be maybe in his late forties if you had to go by human years. He bowed to you again never losing that greesy smile.
"I don't believe I had a chance to introduce myself."
"No." You shook your head no. "You haven't. Who are you?"
A proud hand pressed against his chest. "I am Kakski. The head caretaker and supervisor of the Kizuki Dwell and the man who makes sure every inch of this magnificent place is run smoothly. And just let me say that it is so lovely to finally have a proper resident to care for again." He sighed in tired form. "So far our only occupant has been Mr. Hantengu but it can be rather difficult to deal with him."
You gained a surprise look. "Mr. Hantengu is here?"
"He was brought here by Lord Muzan's orders to live out the rest of his days in comfort retirement," Akaza explained making you look at him. "Only the Twelve Kizuki and their immediate family are allowed to stay here. Since there's no one to take care of him at home anymore with all his sons busy, the Master thought it was best to move the old man here for better care." His eyes narrowed. "That being said, I Hope you've been treating your elders with the proper respect."
Kakski made an audible gulp smiling nervously at the frowning Lord before him. "O-O-Of course we have. N-N-Nothing but the best for our Lords' families!"
"I should hope so. I'd hate to see what would happen if his sons or the Master found out any of the former Kizuki weren't getting the proper respect they deserved. Hmm. In fact, while I'm here I might as well see Hantengu and congratulate him on his retirement."
"N-N-Now?! Ah! I mean of course!" He bowed deeply to Akaza. "I would be delighted to escort you inside. P-Please follow me."
You blinked at Kakski turning to gesture you all inside and only started walking after Akaza went in and disappeared through the door with Rui shimmying I'm behind him. You slowly followed inside and paused. Your eyes widened. Your head shook and you blinked again at what you saw.
Oh my gods...
If Kyogai's mansion was classy and if the sanctuary at the Entertainment District was fancy then this layout beat both of them out of the running by being ABSOLUTELY HIGH CLASS ROYALTY. Everywhere your teeny eyes looked it was like they had been dipped in liquid gold and saw only a king's luxury of a home here. Tall halls polished so much it left literal long reflections of you in every wooden surface. Paintings so big they were at least three humans long and one human tall depicting the most beautiful scenes captured expertly in paint. Random furniture made of the darkest wood carved with patterns into every inch of it. Vases made of procelyn infused with jewelers. Chandeliers of pure gold. Rugs handwoven by weavers with such skill you thought they were paintings laying on the perfectly polished floors. Your jaw dropped and eyes nearly popped out of your skull at at least ten men and women stood on each side of the hallway before bowing in perfect sink with smiles plastered on all their faces. But what shocked you the most was how beautifully dressed they all were.
The women (with all different demonic features ranging from horns to wings and everything in-between) were all dressed up in beautifully patterned silk kimonos in every bright color of the rainbow, and hair and make up done up in the skill of an Oiran. The men weren't as dolled up as the ladies but they all looked fairly strong, fit, and all wore matching silk black robes so smooth not even a wrinkle was present.
''Welcome Lord and Lady," they all spoke at once in that bow and big smiles.
You were astonished to say the least before you slowly looked back to Kakski and noticed a yellow skinned old woman of similar age stood next to him in matching clothing but still filled up like the other women. "Who are these people? Are they related to the Kizuki too?"
Kakski laughed making you frown. "Oh my Lady. You have such a sense of humor. Of course they don't live here. These fine young men and women are just a small handful of the servants who will serve you here."
Your eyes widened looking between this old couple and the other demons. "These people are servants?! ALL OF THEM?!"
"Of course! But only a handful of our staff is here. There's many others who're busy working right now."
"What exactly do these people do?" Apply make up? Gospel? Oh don't say they were all concubines of some kind!
"Oh the usual. Cook, clean, serve whomever stays here, some even clean the pools of water and feed the koi-"
"They cook and clean while dressed beautifully as if they were attending a ball?"
Kakski paused for a moment before a grateful look passed over him and he pressed a hand to his chest. "You think our staff is beautiful?! Why that's such an honor to hear from the first Lady we've had here in three thousand years!" His one eye closed in pride. "Yes. Our staff takes pride in how EVERYTHING looks perfect here. The floors, the pools, and even including ourselves. Nothing but the best FOR the best. Our looks should match our work."
"But isn't that a little unorthodox? Working in such fancy attire?"
"But of course. All of our staff are from noble family lines, it's a great honor to be able to work here so close to the Kizuki." He proudly held up a hand. "Not only that but they are all highly educated in reading, writing, maths, and human culture! So they should have no problem interacting with you."
What were you? Some kind of alien?! You supposed he meant that as some kind of comfort but it came off as more of a brag. "Who's the woman next to you?"
"This lovely woman is my beautiful wife Yoko~," Kakski purred and just stared in a loving way at the woman next to him, "She's the head maid you know.~ And gets lovelier every single day I bask in her presence.~ My daughter takes after her you know.~"
"Kakski, stop. You're embarrassing the both of us," she chided with a small push to the man's chest but she didn't stop smiling. "You're wasting their time on your rambling as well."
"Forgive me. I couldn't help but introduce them to the most beautiful woman since our first Queen.~" You didn't know whether to feel happy that this skeezy demon had at least one good thing to say about him or feel annoyed at the whole situation. "But you are right. I'm getting too distracted. I'll happily escort Lord Akaza to Former Lord Hantengu's dwelling. In the meantime I'm sure my wife would be happy to show Lady Y/n here to her room." He then bowed. "If you would please follow us."
You glanced in question at Akaza who just nodded back. "Go ahead. I'll be back to check on you in a little while."
With nothing else to do right now you'd follow this Yoko person and see what was in store for you.
"Follow me, My Lady," the older woman spoke with a bow. Her tone was less greasy but it still held that suck up element to it which made you frown as she turned and began stepping down the corridor and with a final look at Akaza you followed.
Rui followed behind toddling along with his arms full of the knick knacks you dropped. It felt very strange to you walking past the rows of men and women that still smiled at you. The strange arrangement of this place was so baffling to you and you just stepped in here. They had noblemen and women as servants to other noblemen and women. It was so strange to you but you supposed this was more of that cultural difference between humans and demons. You only began to see more royal like halls littering ever direction you took and it ...
You turned your nose up at all of it.
What was the literal point of all of this? The fancy things that sparkled and shined were only just that, things to be looked at and admired. It held no real value unless you sold it and made money for use. What was wrong with just a small house in the country side, maybe a small garden, with just maybe a few animals to keep you company. Maybe you'd even settle down and have a small family of your own once you're done traveling and seeing everything you wanted too see. Of course you'd have to figure out what to do about this entire demon fiance situation.... You'd ask to talk with that Muzan guy and his wife. If you spoke to him about your feelings he'd have to call the whole thing off, and with his wife there he wouldn't be able to get around the topic.
...Hmm. You wondered how exactly you could call off all of these engagements? You could probably return these 'gifts' back to everyone and tell them no but there was a few problems with that plan. The first being that even IF you told them you didn't want to be married or courted that might not stop them from trying anyways. You remembered when you were very blunt and honest with Kaigaku and he still insisted on making you wear the magatama charm as a courting gift and still refused to let you go easily. On top of that both Kyogai and Akaza gave you gifts too despite agreeing to not wanting to court you either. Perhaps if you just spoke to Muzan's wife? She seemed like a very sensible person . You were sure she'd be able to straighten things out. The question was how were you going to get her attention?
"Oof!" You bumped right into Yoko when she stopped and Rui bumped right behind you blinking.
She only smiled at you. "We're here, Lady Y/n." She gestured to the shiny polished sliding door. "Won't you please come in? We've been preparing it for days hearing about your arrival days ago."
"Oh, swell," you mumbled deadpanned.
Still Yoko smiled at you grabbing the door. "Don't worry. We've ensured that the room was nothing but comfortable with you in mind. Come." With that she slid the door right open.
You stared. Rui stared peeking around your legs. Yoko smiled proudly at herself.
.....What the hell was THIS?!
You face dropped as the first thing you saw was a giant vanity complete with a giant mirror and stacked with make up and at least eight different perfume bottles. Instantly you felt yourself groan and cringing at just the memory of that stuff caking your face. Next to that was an extremely lacy pink colored futon and surrounding the room around those two things were just..well...Hmm. What was the best way to describe all this??
Overly exaggeratedly girly.
Seriously?! How could one room have ten vases of flowers, such frilly decor, and enough bright colors to outshine a rainbow?! You could only stare at it before furrowing your brow and you couldn't help but think that this room would be better fitted for someone like Mitsuri or that Oiran you saw.
".....You must have the wrong room. There's no way THIS is mine."
"Oh but believe me it is!," Yoko insisted walking inside, "I understand you must not be used to such things. Here you have everything a young lady of your status could ever need! The bathroom is just through that door there." She gestured to a door on the opposite side of the wall. "Ooh. And here we have my favorite part of any ladies room." She excited cooed before just walking over to another door and pulling it back to reveal clothing. LOTS OF CLOTHING. So much it looked like it would spill out of the closet at any moment. "We didn't know your exact size so we just gathered various things but there's so much for you to chose from. So many gorgeous shoes and dresses to chose from."
You stared. War flashbacks of being squeezed into too tight shoes so tight they literally hurt when you even stood and forced into so many layers of clothing you felt like you were inside a volcano and make up so sticky that your face felt like it was clay clung onto your face and your hair pinned up so tight it hurt your scalp passed through your mind. And your eyes widened.
"So what do you think? It's absolutely delightful isn't it?"
"........I need a major change in rooms. NOW."
And that's how you were taken to a much LESS eyesore of a room and was fitted with still fancy but less of a nightmarish eyesore. It was about as fancy as the room you stayed in at the red light district but that was ok. Currently you were quite content with the room which just so happened to have a connecting room for Rui to have his own space. Although right now he chose to lean against your back sitting down and reading a book in his hands.
"I don't understand. I've never seen a woman who turned down every luxury she could ever want so fast." You paid no mind to the demon staring unbelieving at you. "Denying yourself of so much."
"I prefer simple clothes like the one I'm wearing right now. Not to say I don't appreciate all your hard work, but I just prefer things my own style," you explained calmly. The small pile of 'gifts' right beside you. You'd even taken off the sash and necklaces tied around you added to the pile. "Also I don't need or even want servants to dress me up in the morning. Im more than capable of doing that myself."
"But-"
"No butts. Butts are for sitting on." You sent a frown her way. "Do you even know how disturbing it is to sleep and then wake up to a total stranger in your room? Furthermore do you know how much creepier it is for that stranger to try to bath you and dress you up like you're a doll?" You gave a shudder. "Im a grown woman and I can take care of those things myself." Rui tapped you on the back and you gave him a look as well. "..And I didn't want anyone invading Rui's privacy as well. He can look after himself mostly and I'm going to be right here if he needs anything else."
Yoko slapped a hand to her cheek. "You don't want ANY servants?"
"Well.... I'll still need someone to clean our rooms and bring us food but that's all we'll need you all to do." You waved a hand at her. "If I need anything else I'll ask someone for it."
Yoko looked about ready to faint but was stopped when loud footsteps approached the open door and a moment later a large figure appeared. "You've only been here for a few hours and already you're causing such a stir up." Yoko jumped and everyone turned to Akaza standing in the doorway looking amused. "The servants are already in shock at your refusal of so many gifts."
"Akaza!" "Father!"
Rui was first to respond to the tall demon by standing up and running up to the grinning man, grabbing at and tugging his pants leg. "I have an entire room to myself. We can share the space so Mother can have her own courters."
It made Akaza chuckle and pat his head. "That's nice of you to offer but I can't stay for long. I'll have to go take care of some of Kokushibo's duties since he'll be extra busy. That'll be all you can leave us now." Yoko only nodded before walking away.
"How's Mr. Hantengu?"
Akaza nodded. "He's doing just fine. They're treating him well enough, although he keeps asking for his children. *sigh* What a mess everything is. It'll take a while to clean everything up."
"Is it that bad?"
"No. Worse." He counted on his fingers. "There's the rebuilding of the Tsuzumi Mansion, AND we have to clear out all the trees in the Yokai Forest that was destroyed in the fight between those assholes and Kaigaku. And then once all the dead trees ARE cleared we have to replant new ones to replace the damaged ones. Then there's the matter of the responsibilities."
"What responsibilities?"
He groaned allowing his shoulders to drop. "Kokushibo will be too busy with everything else for his regular duties, so until he's able to finish it, I'll be responsible for all of the things he'd usually do. Which means I won't be around to help you for a long while."
Your face dropped at this and so did Rui's. "What? That's not fair!"
He shrugged. "It's the way of the Kizuki, but that's not the reason why I'm here. May I come in and talk to you?" Oh right. Akaza wouldn't come into any women's room without direct permission. That's why he still stood outside the doorway. So you nodded and he stepped in, tail sliding the door behind him. "Thank you. I understand if this is very sudden. B-But I wanted to make my intentions clear." You only watched as he kneeled to sit on his knees in front of you. Rui patted along, looked over Akaza.... before sitting in the same position Akaza did. He noticed the pile of 'gifts' right next to him, plucking out the pink beaded anklet of his he gifted you as a necklace. "I see you've seen my gift. ...What do you think of it?"
You blinked glancing at his legs to notice the missing anklet from his right leg. "...I think it's very beautiful and very nice of you to give to me, but I thought we agreed that I didn't really ask you to marry me and it was all a misunderstanding.''
"We did agree on that, and I know you really didn't ask me to marry you at all."
"Then why did you give me your anklet? Was it just to make the others back away?"
"Well...I did do that as a way to protect Rui and yourself, but there's another reason for it." You jumped and your eyes widened as his hand gently grabbed one of yours and a sheen of pink spread across his face. "The second reason is because....I-I love you, Y/n. I love you, and I've never felt this way since Koyuki."
"Koyuki?" What was 'Koyuki'? Was that a name? Who's name was that? "Who's Koyuki?"
"She is my ex fiance." Your eyes widened and blinked surprised at him. "There's no need to worry. She's....been deceased for quite some time now." Golden blue eyes looked towards the side and his ears dropped at the mention of her and the increased squeeze of your hand had you knowing he tensed up some. "... That's..what I wanted you to know."
"Akaza...I'm so sorry." Your hand squeezed his back and you leaned your head to the right to try to look at his face but that only resulted in him squeezing his eyes shut. "What happened?' He was eerily quiet and didn't move to which you grew more concerned. Perhaps it was too touchy a subject. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. You don't have to tell me anything."
He still remained quiet but slowly spoke. "If...I tell you-" he still didn't look up or open his eyes, but gave a shaky exhale that shook his entire body. "... I'll have to reveal a part of myself to you that would scare you away...and...I don't want to lose someone else important to me."
"I can handle it, and I promise I won't judge you for anything, Akaza. I always keep my promises but that choice is completely up to you. I won't force you to tell me anything unless you want to."
He still remained silent and just sat there for a moment. "....I wasn't meant to be a demon."
You blinked. "What?"
"I wasn't meant to be human. My mother was demon, but my father...was a human." He finally opened his eyes and looked at your confused eyes. "Heh..Of course you would be confused. Let me explain. Demons and humans are never meant to have children together. Whenever they do have a child together it always results in human children. Only one percent of those children are actually born demon....I guess I'm a part of that percent."
Well you were surprised by that biology lesson. Did Akaza feel guilty about being born the way he was?
"My mother passed away long before I could even walk as an infant," he continued making you jump back to him, "But...I don't really remember my father taking care of me." His brows furrowed in a way that made him look like he tried to remember something that wasn't there. "For as long as I could remember it had always been me taking care of him. ...Maybe that's why I can't remember any childhood."
"Was he very old?"
He jolted blinking at what you said. "Huh? Oh..N-No. It was actually the opposite of that. He was...always very sick. I couldn't always afford the medicine he desperately needed. Too many people and not enough money to go around... That's how I got myself in so much trouble. In order to get any medicine for him I had resorted myself to stealing. Which ... wasn't a good idea in hindsight." A free hand rubbed his neck ashamed. "A demon child stealing didn't really help with my reputation of looking monstrous...I must've shamed my father so much thinking back on it."
"Oh, Akaza. I don't think he would've. I can't say that what you did was a good thing, but it was the only way you could get what your father needed. I don't think any father would be ashamed of their son trying to help him."
"Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know... Maybe it was too much stress for him. Maybe he couldn't take being sick anymore. Maybe I did shame him too much. But, for whatever reason, he took his own life." You leaned back a bit wide eyed as Akaza once again looked down at his lap guiltily. "I'm... ashamed of what I became after that. You see..If they didn't think I was monster before, they sure did after. In my rage and grief my stupid younger self picked many fights, I nearly killed many people, it was only when Koyuki's father stopped me did my senseless rage end."
Rui felt himself getting tired and his eyes closing. It's been a long day for him and it was getting harder and harder for him to stay awake.
"Is that...how you met her?"
He slowly nodded before giving a sad chuckle. "It's really funny now looking back on that moment. I must've looked absolutely scary to everyone being a demon and fighting everyone left and right. Then this cheery man comes along all smiles and takes me down in under ten minutes. I'd give anything to see my younger me's dumb face in that moment. He's... actually the one who took me in and gave me a job, and a home, and what purpose I could have. And..." You watched him immediately blush and look away embarrassed. "Gods...I wished you could've met her. She was so .. beautiful. She was the kindest, softest woman I've ever met. She didn't even seem to mind my appearance...AH!! STUPID!!" He slapped himself making you blink and Rui sit up again blinking sleepily. "Here I am wanting to court you and I speak of another woman! How shameful of me."
You blinked...then you giggled at his obvious blushing face making him flush a deeper pink. "Not at all. I think you're really cute when you talk about your family. I really like Koyuki already." You smiled wider. "She sounds like such a beautiful woman. No wonder you fell in love with her."
Your words only turned the deeper pink to a shade of red before he swallowed and frowned again. "Yes...From there he trained me as his own and, for a while, life was...better. Not perfect but better. You see...Koyuki much like my father was very sick for most of her life, but I never once complained. She was worth the effort I soon found out. I had everything a man could want. It was actually Koyuki's father who had the idea of engaging us and passing on his dojo to me once he retired.....I never should've left them alone."
That grim look of his was back and your smile slowly faded. "...Akaza?"
"...They were poisoned. Murdered." His free hand cracked the bones inside as a fist formed and veins popped up all along his arms. A hiss escaped his throat as his his fangs grit together. "I HATE them. I still hate every single one of them. They took them both away from me."
"Them? Them who?"
"A rival dojo at the time. They were the ones who poisoned the water supply. T-That's how they took her from me." The grip tightened up as he tensed up more. The chest rising up and down faster with slightly heavier breaths. "Everything I ever had...all of it was just...gone." Don't cry don't cry don't cry. "And I killed them. One by one. They dropped like flies. All of them. I made them suffer for everything they did. If the innocent couldn't have life then neither could they. I killed them!....I-I....killed them..." Fluffy pink lashes welding up with tears looked at your stunned face. "....I killed them...Y/n... I'm a murderer and I..I don't think I could hide that from you." His chest heaved. A small little figure snored happily away pressed into his soft side. It's his fault that the kid was here. "...It's my fault. All of it..and it's my fault he's here. It's my fault he's fatherless." A free hand reached up to cover his eyes. "I killed him."
"Who?"
He choked. "Rui's Father. Im responsible for his death." A sob finally choked from his throat. "I-....I have nothing to say that would make that fact ok."
Purple eyes widened. "Akaza."
"I know..I shouldn't cry-"
"What? No!" He was surprised by the strength that freed your hand from his but .ore shocked at the hands that grabbed his cheeks. You had to stand in order to look him in the eyes with a stern look. "You should be able to cry. You went through so much heartbreak and got so much stress built up on your shoulders already. Who wouldn't cry if they lost so many people you loved? I would be concerned if you didn't cry."
Shiny tears clung to that pretty pale skin as he stared at you. Fluffy eyelashes almost losing their fluffiness from the water. "I'm a..man... we're not supposed to-"
"Bullshit! Crying doesn't make you less of a man. People cry for all kinds of reasons. Some people get so stressed out or frustrated they cry. Some people cry because they're so scared they can't help it. Others cry in anger or when they get something in their eyes. Some people can cry crocodile tears even." He nearly sobbed as a thumb wiped away one tear coming from his eyes. "But a lot of times... People cry when they're sad or heartbroken. And why shouldn't they? It's healthy and good to cry every so often. For men and women. And you know what...I like you when you cry." He blinked as another hand wiped as his cheek. "I like you when you smile too. Or when you get angry. Or flustered. Or when you're sad. Showing so much makes you so strong. So don't be afraid to cry, especially for someone you loved to much. I would NEVER think of you as anything less than who you really are for that." You made to clarify firmly. "I love that about you. I love you for you. So go ahead and cry."
At first he didn't react...just sat there on his knees looking up at you for a moment before his lips quivered and eyes crinkled up. Leaning forward, the Upper Moon Three pushed his face into the green cloth of a kimono, two arms wrapped around the torso of the woman in front of him. And the muffled sobs of the demon echoed throughout the room from Akaza's heaving lungs. Two smaller hands soothed the crying running along his hair and upper back. It could be a small gesture but to him..it meant so much. Slowly minute after minute passed and slowly, slowly things calmed down. The heaving stopped. The sobs stopped. The tears even stopped. But the grip on her like a lifeline remained. Until the head looked back up as two soft hands placed themselves back on those cheeks.
"Y/n.."
A face closed in. Purple eyes widened in shock. And a small seal of love was proven. And a promise was mumbled from his kiss.
"I promise you I will protect you. I will be the best father I can be for Rui." Golden blue eyes narrowed. His hug increasing slightly. "And I promise you...I don't plan on losing more people I love so easily.''
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#demon bride#daki#douma#douma x reader#hantengu#hantengu x reader#hantengu clones#rui ayaki#enmu x reader#enmu#kokushibo#kokushibo x reader#kyogai x reader#kyogai#kaigaku#kaigaku x reader#akaza x reader#akaza#gyutaro x reader#gyutaro#karaku x reader#Karaku#aizetsu#sekido#zohakuten#urogi#urogi x reader
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Breaking down the comics: Starting the Collection (Issue 3)
Moon Knight, Issue #3: Midnight Means Murder.
Written by Doug Moench and drawn by Bill Sienkiewicz
YES. BACK IN IT WITH BILL AND DOUG!
I don’t know WHY I didn’t do this one in my first plans? Why the hell did I skip Midnight man? I covered his return, but his initial issue? I can’t explain past me to you.
So here we are, back at the beginning. Issue number three! And we see Moon Knight’s FIRST big deal. It’s his first big villain (I don’t count Bushman. I’ll explain that later) that also reoccurs.
The title page?
We open on a splash of the Daily Bugel.
And boy howdy is thi creative or what? And what makes me even happier? You can actually read the paper! You'll have to pardon me as I take you through it. I love when writers actually take the time to put something worth while in little newspaper clippings like this.
Saturday, May 3 1980. A nice picture of Moon Knight beating up two bank robbers and a mystery picture of someone robbing a museum.
"They even list Doub Moench as the "Staff Writer" and give photographer credit to Bill Sienkiewicz.
"ANOTHER LUNA NIGHT. "
"The third national bank was robbed last night, but only up to a point.
That point was roughly three steps beyond the entrance of the defiled bank, located at the southwest corner of Madison Avenue and 89th Street, where the two armed desperadoes were abruptly assailed by a silver and black hurricane named Moon Knight.
As far as the costumed vigilante is concerned, the hurricane analogy is more than apt. According to the sole eyewitness, the admittedly groggy night watchman (who had been struck on the head by ne of the would-be thieves), "The guy just seemed to come out of the sky like some kind of silver ghost, and then the two robbers were on the pavement. I never seen nothing like it before."
As for the battered thugs (whose names are being withheld pending further investigation), one supposes they never knew what hit them. Long before the police arrived the Moon Knight had vanished, leaving behind only his silver crescent-dart 'calling card'--with the foiled thieves and recovered loot in the care of the night watchman. When this writer last checked the blotter, the two new prisoners were still peacefully dreaming of sweet green and all it can buy. A rude awakening of striped shadows and iron bars awaits them.
And speaking of shadows, Manhattanites have never been more spooked by them, despite the relentless presence of the Moon Knight, if not the police. This was the 23rd night of New York's latest uninterrupted crime wave. And although Moon Knight has figured prominently (and spectacularly) in 19 of the past 23 nights, the jet nad silver whirlwind has yet to tangle with the most celebrated miscreant currently about town--he who has been dubbed "the Midnight Man," a thief with taste and the fall to appease it nightly in all the better parts of an outraged town. Even a hurricane, it seems, cannot strike everywhere. Even so, nor can one turn back the tide of the inevitable. Like the moon and midnight, these two mysterious men go together. And sooner or later, one suspects walking through the plastered shadows of this nighted city, their paths are destined to cross, and clash. It is only a matter of time, measured by the darkness between midnights."
He certainly does play up Moon Knight a lot, doesn't he? Doug is just so super proud of his boy.
And it also reminds me that Moon Knight's outfit was originally silver, not white. It was supposed to give him a leg-up against the werewolf, Jack Russel.
The other article "Midnight Man Strikes Again" talks about 'the connoisseur art thief' that has burgled a rare Monet oil painting. He has also been taunting the police by mail. The latest note being a taunt to anyone that dares try to stop him, "including that gaudy buffoon Moon Knight," Especially "now that I've amply demonstrated that the police are no match for my cunning or finesse."
ANYWAYS. I thought it was a good title page.
We open on Moon Knight stopping a Saturday night mugging.
I also love how Moon Knight insults people. “Turkey”.
We continue on, Midnights of missing art.
We also see Moon Knight stopping various other crimes.
"Tuesday morning at Grant Mansion--where one man lives under many names... Steven Grant, Marc Spector, Jake Lockley, and Moon Knight, among others."
We find Steven working out with Marlene.
"Morning, Delilah."
"Nedda will have breakfast ready in twenty minutes."
"Okay, Marlene--Just let me hit the bag a few minutes and then I'll take my steam bath."
"As you wish, Steven... But in case you haven't noticed, I'm waiting with bated breath. Who are you today?"
"Huh?"
"What clothes do you want?"
"Oh--Give me Lockley's."
"Why Lockley?"
"Thought I'd sniff out a little scandal, and Lockley's got the best nose--or at least the best connections."
Ahh... Issue 3. Absolute denial country.
Look at this man. He goes from prim proper Steven Grant to complete Jake Lockley in the comfort of his own home. It's...It's beautiful.
"And so, at breakfast..."
LOOK AT THIS MAN. (He doesn’t get his trademark mustache till a later issue).
Jake, where are you manners? How are you sitting like that?
I also adore how Jake always addresses Marlene as “Lady”. Like he refuses to acknowledge that they are an item. She’s just a lady that he has to live with because Marc and Steven have an eye for her.
And look at poor Nedda in the background.
Anyways, Marlene calls Jake on wanting to go after the Midnight man.
"You can't bluff me, Mister--You're going after this 'Midnight Man'."
"He's goading me Marlene, playing Jack the Ripper with these taunting letters in the paper."
"But he's NOT the ripper--He's just a common, if clever thief."
"So who ever claimed thieves were beneath me, Lady?"
"That's not what I mean. I just worry sometimes. You're too eager to accept challenges.
Besides, have you forgotten the charity bash you're hosting tonight? There's plenty to do around here as Steven Grant."
"I'll be back in time. How long does it take to shuck Lockley's rags and shrug into Grant's tux?
And don't worry about me so much---You're forgetting who I am."
Oh? And WHO are you, Jake buddy? (I prod because at this point Jake has not figured out who he is. Early Moon Knight was in so much denial).
"It's easy to do, dear Steven--Excuse me, dear JAKE. You've got so many different names, identities, and moods, even YOU forget who you are half the time."
DING DING. See. Marlene gets it. She hates it and pretends she doesn't... But she does get it. I get frustrated with Marlene with the amount rejection Marlene has over the whole system. She has her mind set on the whole "He's a mess but I can fix him" thing. ANd in her mind, fixing him is making Steven the only person in that head and settling down with her.
What does Jake have to say about that?
"Makes life interesting, Lady--Too boring being just one character. Maybe I should've been an actor. After all, all life's a stage."
Jake my buddy my pal my good friend Jake…
1980s everyone…
Outside the mansion we find Samules, the butler. He's got Jake's cab ready for him.
"Really, sir, don't you think this...ah, vehicle could use a washing once in a--"
"Part of my disguise, Samules, the dirt is--Gotta look like a real New York cabbie in a real new york cab."
"Very well, sir--But I do wish you'd make up your mind one of these days. Polish the mercedes and peel the cab's paint--Press the suit and rumble the jeans--Oh dear."
Poor Samules.
Jake tells him to go alert Frenchie to give the chopper a once-over.
Samules heads up to the roof to meet with Frenchie.
He finds the chopper alone with no Frenchie in sight.
I miss Samules.
I love that he makes the helicopter go "vroom vroom".
And I love that Frenchie thinks this is cute and calls him the "Daring air-ace".
He offers Samuels a 'little...ride'
"Certainly not! It... It's undignified for a man of my...My--"
"Oui, Samuels. I understand. But we can all dream, no?"
....And in re-reading this I am faced with the fact that this could 100% have all been euphemisms and Frenchie legit hitting on Samuels. I doubt very much Moench wrote it that way on purpose... But then again... He was very sneaky and found ways to get away with things that were 'forbidden' to put in comics at this time...
(Marvel Editor and Chief at the time, Shooter, was notoriously homophobic and banned the portrayal of gay characters in the comics. Doug and many other writers had a HUGE problem with this.)
We find outselves next at Gena's! Jake's got a box as he heads on in.
"After cruisin' all day with no luck, guess it's time to try old reliable..."
"Hey, Gena--How's the kids?"
He always asks her about the kids. Always.
Jake turns to Crawley and hands him the box.
If you’ll excuse me… I’m going to go sob and hug 1980s Moench Jake Lockley. I’ve missed him so much.
He knows his people and he loves his people.
Crawley dishes it out to Jake.
He hasn't heard anything but there are some guys over at the pool hall across the way that might know more.
Crawley escorts Jake over and they get the cold shoulder from the gys. They claim they haven't heard anything and get a little menacing about it.
Jake tells them that "if anyone has a memory attack, I'll be out in the alley in fifteen minutes."
He slips out, leaving Crawley to talk to the guys alone.
They ask Crawley if Jake's a cop.
"Certainly NOT. I keep company in a higher social stratum than THAT."
He tells them Jake pays very well for good info and it would do them good to get in with that standing.
The guys head outside with intent to rob Jake.
Unfortunately for them, someone else is waiting.
Moon Knight says don’t rob Jake. That’s rude.
Moon Knight asks nicely where the Midnight man fences his loot.
The remaining conscious man tells him that Midnight Man DOESN'T fence it. He keeps it!
"B-But the word is... He... He's gonna take you on tonight..."
He thanks the man for the info.
I must say... No one really appreciates that Moon Knight really does have a witty sense of humor. He amuses himself and he's just a goof.
Jake rushes back to Steven’s party.
"You're late, Steven--Or is it still Jake?" Marlene greets them back at the mansion.
"Nope---Jake Lockley has just retired for the evening, my dear Marlene. As of right now, I'm Steven Grant, prominent multi-millionaire and suave host of charity fund-raisers."
"Then hurry and get dressed, Schizo."
Yeah.... That's Marlene. I've said it before, but at this point in age, D.I.D was not widely known about and didn't really have a diagnosis or name. MPD (multiple Personality DIsorder) was also not really clarified at that time and everything was still classified under the all encompassing branch of "Schizophrenia". ...However, Schizo had become an insult used to describe anyone with any unpleasant or abnormal behavior.
Marlene continues to chastise him telling him that the guests will be arriving and "Chances are they'd appreciate a brief appearance by the host."
Narration: "Steven Grant suppresses a Lockley grin... Gaining full control of his new Persona some thirty minutes later..."
I love this. Jake's got a sense of humor and is playful and mischievous. The idea of upsetting Marlene and missing the shindig all together appeals to Jake. He hates these fancy parties. And it takes 30 minutes for Steven to do a full switch out. This is actually a fantastic approach to DID and is probably the most accurate portrayal in Moon Knight you're going to get.
At the party, Marlene introduces Steven to the people.
"And now if I may have your attention, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to present the host of the benefit, and the best boss I've ever had--indeed, the best of many bosses I've got right NOW--Steven Grant."
Clever Marlene.
Steven certainly didn't miss that little jab.
"Flirty with danger, aren't you, darling?"
Steven gives a very very short speech then starts to mingle.
He meets up with one Anton Mogart (that name should ring a bell or two).
He offers Steven his card. He's an art collector. He asks to speak to Steven privately.
Steven has a few paintings but admits to be just a dabbler of art. "One must do something with one's money and walls, and somehow---George Washington wallpaper is just a trifle gauche."
LOL Steven...
Mogart admits he's a bit worried, and this is why he wanted to speak to Steven.
"I understand an acquaintance of yours happens to be a soldier-of-fortune named Marc Spector, who contracts for certain...ah, dangerous undertakings."
"You've done your homework, Mogart. What sort of contract do you have in mind?"
"Protecting some paintings from imminent theft--by the Midnight Man. The fee would be, let us say, $100,000. These canvases, you see, are valuable."
Mogart claims to have gotten a direct letter from the Midnight Man saying that he was coming for his paintings tonight.
Steven agrees, saying "Spector owes me a favor. I'll subcontract the job in his behalf--"
Steven even tells him that he doesn't want cash, but would like a new piece of art for his wall where there is an empty space. (this will come back later)
Steven heads back to the Gala and tells Marlene that he needs to go. She protests but he tells her "I just got invited to a better party. Fill in for me."
Frenchie….What are you reading. What is this ‘action’ you are talking about?
They head to Anton Mogart's home in Jersey. Frenchie asks if it's a trap.
Moon Knight notes it might be worse than a trap.
Once they reach the house, he jumps from the copter and sneaks into the house through the window (for once he doesn't crash through it and I am sad to not have to add a tally to my chart).
And we are treated to one of my favorite renditions of Moon Knight ever.
The lights come on and Midnight Man is there waiting for him.
While Midnight Man had no fear of the police, he did worry that Moon Knight would stop him sooner or later, so he decided to force his hand and make it sooner.
Pulling out a gun, he intends to kill Moon Knight so he can carry on with his robberies.
Moon Knight flings his truncheon at the light, plunging them into darkness.
He hides in the shadows (not easy to do when you have an outfit made out of SILVER) and then wails on Midnight Man a little.
Which... To be fair to Midnight Man, heis a thief and NOT a fighter.
Then again…
LOL Moon Knight really?
They get off the elevator and Mogart pulls a dagger.
They crash out the window (this does not count for dramatic window crash because they are leaving and Moon Knight didn't make this choice.)
He slips on glass and ends up on the ground as usual. He spends a lot of time on the ground.
Mogart takes advantage and prepares to stab him when…
Marlene shows up randomly to straight up murder a dude.
Moon Knight tries to save him but Mogart plunges to the water below.
“That really wasn’t necessary, Marlene–I would have stopped him. Besides, I rather liked the man… He was….Refreshingly psychotic.”
This is what I love about Moon Knight and is something that continues throughout the Moench run and even pops up in later runs then comes back in MacKay’s run.
Moon Knight genuinely grows attached to his villains. He cares about them and enjoys them. We see this again in Stained Glass Scarlet. In other runs, he tends to pick small time villains and just harass the hell out of them (See Eightball in MacKay’s run). They aren’t big time hitters. They barely muster enough gusto to be considered villains. Yet he comes after them as if they were big time villains. He even enjoys it. And you know what? I think it actually helps them. He knows their real names. He knows their trademarks. He recognises them right off the bat. They know Moon Knight’s watching them. They consider robbing a bank but see Moon Knight’s shadow and go “Nawh.” and go home.
You know what else? He treats them with respect. Where as say, Wolverine, wouldn’t bat an eye and waste time on such small petty crooks. But Moon Knight does because he CARES. He cares about the people he’s helping, about doing a good job…
And about the villain. And like with Eightball, sometimes we see that Villain come around and change their lives and do good. Bringing good back into the world.
So why did he like Mogart? Mogart was honest. He did what he did because he was greedy and wanted to possess things. He wanted to possess beautiful things. He didn’t hurt anyone, though his risks were getting bigger and bigger and were starting to lead to someone getting hurt. He also had a huge ego and did it all for the thrill.
Marlene urges them to leave before the cops arrive but Moon Knight takes his time.
Epilogue:
We see Marlene and Steven going to the art museum. Suddenly, Marlene recognizes some of the pieces.
The three pictures from before. It’s sort of funny that any time Steven does make large donations that aren’t about just money, he always puts Marc’s name there. The money? That’s Steven. Steven made the money and Steven will organize charities and events. But Marc? Marc’s going to be the one to add to art museums, open soup kitchens, or donate park benches. Is it Marc trying to make up for the things he’s done? Or is it Steven trying to remind Marc that there are good things that can be done in the world that aren’t always about breaking a nose?
They head back to Grant Mansion.
Marlene is still confused as to why he gave away the pictures.
"I learned a lesson from Mogart--Collecting does bad things to the blood. Besides, there's still too much of vagabond Spector in my blood, too little of Collector Grant."
Marlene asks what he'll do with the blank spot on the wall.
Steven notes that the police dragged the river and never found a body. No body no death. It’s nice that the comics acknowledge that now and then.
He's hung up Mogart's opera cape.
"He'll be back for it someday--He's too much the collector to let it remain at large."
Marlene tells him that she thinks he's right.
"You see, my gun has always fired a trifle wide. And with you and Mogart struggling so close together, I couldn't trust it with anything but... Rubber bullets."
And Mogart DOES return in a later issue and take his cape back.
But for now, we end the issue!
And you know what? This was a refreshing issue. It’s the start of Moon Knight’s love of his house of villains. We see an early introduction to Marc, Jake, and Steven starting to dance around one another, we see Marlene not only do her thing of rescuing Moon Knight, but of being the one to struggle to keep their life together. It’s amazing to look back at the start after running through backwards (why do I always do things backwards? Why does it always work?).
I miss the old classic villains. They've made a point to kill them off over the years. They were dubbed to be too boring or over used or silly. But they had a certain nostalgia to them. Something he knew what to expect and I think they brought comfort to Moon Knight.
"Refreshingly Psychotic." He liked his neurotic villains. Weird and unique and somehow also sad and alone. Perhaps he saw a bit of himself in them. A path that he knows he could have taken. Can you imagine if Marc Spector had become a villain?
#Moon Knight#Moon Knight comics#Analyzing the comics#Mogart#Marc Spector#Steven Grant#Jake Lockley#Marlene Alraune#Back at it again#Almost done you guys#I'm so sad#I don't want it to end
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Please guys let me show you this incredible song that reminds me of bakudeku and their relationship through the years.
Take My Hand - 5SOS
A painted heart on the sidewalk
A bleeding sun on the silver screen
Starting by this, I can totally imagine Katsuki in front of everyone showing up his amazing shape, the amazing person and future hero he is, sweating comfort in front of the spotlights. A bleeding sun. He is literally the greatest, he lights everyone by their eyes until they're burning of passion inside their heart. And Izuku fell, platonically or romantically, in love for him ages ago, and their road to greatness is full of signs that show his affection. He writes everywhere he can how he loves him, how he's fantastic, beautiful, brilliant, amazing.
I feel my ego when I talk
Lost myself in the in between
He really did this. There was a time, in Katsuki's life, in which he couldn't hear a single word from anyone. There was him and him only. He was the most important person in his own life. He lost himself. He lost everything. He surrounded himself with people who could praise him, and left behind Izuku, the only one who praised him so much at the point he wanted to be like Katsuki. And he didn't want to share it. Or maybe was he scared? And for what? It's a matter of fact that he left him behind, he treated him really bad.
Lustful eyes filled with love now
Sending in every calvalry
There was some malice in what he did back in middle school. Something horrible, something he soon regretted in the yuuei age. Something they're still recovering from. Something he doesn't want to happen ever again.
A few more souls on the bus now
Now they're not even alone anymore. Izuku has his own friends, and Katsuki has his own friends too. They're travelling together directed to something unknown, and still, they're together. A few more souls on the bus now. Because Izuku and Katsuki never left that bus in ages, and I think they never will.
Shut my eyes right at seventeen
Always hits me
I'm always shifting
Shut his eyes at a specific age. Seventeen are the age in which young adult are still discovering the world, too young, too dumb, to know things like love (~cit. Ghost Of You, 5SOS). He was so dumb he decided to be blind in front of everything. And when he'll be older, he'll think about those times in which he was just an annoying brat and will think about all the steps he took in order to be better. "Always hits me. I'm always shifting."
Told myself maybe someday
I'd fall down from the centerpiece
He knew this wouldn't have lasted forever. There would have been a time in which he would have to fight in order to stay in the first place. Yuuei is that challenging place where he would grow up and finally be a man, and a hero. Not that kind of jerk he used to be.
I treat my mind like an ashtray
I owe you an apology
His bad habits are falling apart. He's a new person. He's mature, serious, kind in his own way. Even to Izuku. He shows him some appreciation, he helps him, he let him help Katsuki himself. And he knows it, the time has come. When Izuku leaves yuuei, he discovers how he's omportant to him. Katsuki's brain was always full of bullshit he left there, stupid thoughts that hardly needs to be a real hero. And when his ideas are clear, and when Izuku is in front of him, those words fall down.
"I'm sorry, Izuku."
Breaking plans on a sunday
With myself maybe make some peace
I forgot every birthday
It was hard to say it. Three words, during a well-done speech in front of everyone to show his real emotions. It took time. It took a plan. It took courage. But he did it. It was so important. He couldn't leave that scene as if it was nothing important. He changed: and now showing real affection and support was more important. it's a fact that Katsuki never gave a single shit about anyone. It's a saying, that he forgot everyone's birthday in that dark age also known as middle school.
Open-eyed right at twenty-three
Always hits me, that
I'm always shifting
He's mature. He's a hero. He can't fall behind. He's changing. There is nothing more than this. So stop criticising him for what he did as a brat. Look at all this character development. I think it is important. Really important. It always hits me, too, how people shift during their existence.
Pick apart all of the pieces, well, I'm running out of time
Iron out all of the crisis and just hang it out to dry
Shallow hearts for shallow minds
That ache to be alive
You fall apart and redefine
What keeps you up at night
I guess this is, just, everything it took Katsuki to finally accept his changes. Isn't it unbelievable, what runs through someone's mind while he's thinking, while he's changing? How they're able to stay up all night and think, and to do it the following night, as the previous one? Do you really think he locked himself in his bedroom at 8pm just to sleep?
Oh, take my hand
Now and forever
Where I stand
Just as you're losing yourself again, look in the mirror
I really believe this is what he told himself numberless times. "When you're losing yourself again, look in the mirror. Look who you are. Think about who you were, and where it led you. Now, look what you are, and think about where you're about to find peace." He always reminds himself of those hands. He always reminds himself of his hand. Izuku will never be left behind.
Take my hand, now and forever
Where I stand, how can you live and let die?
Young man, look at the mirror
Take my hand, and don't you ever let go
Don't you ever let go
I hope this is what they told themselves at Izuku's rescue. So poetic, so romantic, so lovely. They will never leave each other's side.
#Spotify#5sos5#boku no hero academia#bnha#bakugo katsuki#bkdk canon#bkdk soulmates#rescue#take my hand#midoriya izuku#thoughts
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DISCLAIMER: First part: I can’t write anymore, I’m not ready to talk about this fully yet, but it’s a start.
March 06, 8 years ago
We arrive at your typical two-story, single-family, tan, stucco house in southern California. It’s where the party begins tonight, and the place is jumping. I’ve never experienced parties like this one in my adult life because I skipped out on university. There are people everywhere, white noise of chatter and laughter.
I’m 5’4”, about 125 lbs give or take. My hair is naturally ashy brown; as of late I bleach it blonde. The mother fucker always pulls red, so the blonde is never white, but yellow. I envy the blonde who can get the perfect white bleach colour. She looks like Charlize Theron; I look like someone uncomfortable in their own self-image, so she dyes her hair to be something else entirely. My eyes are a piercing pale green. Something unique in dominant-Hispanic San Diego. It’s odd being a young, hot, girl sometimes. When you show up somewhere with a large crowd the first thing that pops in your head is,
“Will everyone think I’m hot?”
This isn’t a thought because I’m conceded, maybe a little, but because that’s what guys do.
“Nice, man.”
“You’re a lucky man, dude.”
So, who’s the best-in-show tonight, I wonder. I don’t know anybody here; it’s just meeting new person after new person. My husband tells me about the guys briefly and then we come to a gathering like this, and I put the face with the name. After tonight, I’ll likely never see these guys again. My husband is going to pilot school in the military. It’s very prestigious. The likelihood of these guys passing the course and becoming lifelong friends is slim. He’ll pass, though. He passes everything. I’ve met one of the other girls once. She’s sweet, pretty, nice. All the things. She also is two months out from a stint in the hospital recovering from her extensive eating disorder.
People have overshared with me since I’ve hit puberty and have been able to have an adult conversation; it’s something that was always so puzzling to me. I don’t know why people confide in me. They do it all the time. People tell me shit they shouldn’t. Deep, dark, mortifying secrets at will. It’s insane. I must have a face you can trust. People divulge their word-vomit and wait for an answer from me. Seeking advice about their intimate struggles. It’s ironic, because I’m pretty good at giving advice, but I’m a mental head case my fucking self. She sits and talks to me about her problems, and I zone out for a moment thinking, “this girl would not be telling me these things if she saw my wrist right now... I don’t know, maybe she would. People love to feel related to. You mutilate yourself? I gag myself! Let’s be best friends!” I guess a part of me feels happy that people find me comforting so goddamn quickly. But the irony is side-splitting.
“So, what do you think about it?” She asks me with biggest look of concern painted on her face.
“Honestly girl, I think you should just let it ride. Do your best to stay mindful.” This is my go-to answer when I zone out lately. I walk over to one of the guys next to a cooler, “Would you care if grabbed one of those drinks?”
Of course I get one, I’m fucking hot and these guys are all in the military. Their girlfriends are out of town at a constant rate and their balls are probably the size of lemons. So, anything to interact with a pretty female will be thrilling. He’s handsome. Tall, clean and cut from bootcamp. But all I’m thinking about is the fact that I’ve starved myself all day waiting for my husband to get off work. I took three of my Trazadone before this get together, and how hard that means this drink is going to hit me in 15 minutes because I’ve stacked the fucking deck, baby. No food, pills, booze.
I’ve never really been a pill girl. I never did the painkillers that everyone got hooked on in our hometown. These are prescribed by my doctor. I have been going to since I was born. Every year since I’ve been sixteen, I’ve been clinically anxious and depressed. Suicidal for a brief period when I was fourteen, terrified of death, terrified to be alone with myself. Bizarre, dark, thoughts at a constant rate. “What if I go insane and kill myself?” It started when a kid I grew up with died. We were ten, and the same age. He got hit by a truck on his four-wheeler. It was the first time that mortality was ever real when I was a kid. I thought, wow, God really does take some of earlier than he’s supposed to.
Then, three years later, at my little cousin’s birthday party, I spoke with a kid we went to school with. A week later, he suffocated with a bag over his head. I guess that’s the source of all the crazy death thoughts when I was fourteen. Now, I’m too chicken-shit to think about ever ending my own life. Not to mention I’m Pentecostal. I’ll definitely go to Hell if I go out like that. These teenage dirt-bag moments are the reason that I’ve been on seven different mood stabilizers over the last four years. More irony, mood stabilizer, I’ve never been more unstable.
I will never forget how scary the realization was that life was so fragile. And it scared me to death.
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A Thousand Battles (A Modern!Ivar AU)
A Modern!Ivar x F OC (Julietta Lothbrok)
Warnings - Language. This chapter might be triggering for people who are affected by descriptions of rough sex and sexual assault.
Synopsis - Julietta wakes up with no memory of her life or her husband, Ivar. Will it ever return? Does she want it to?
Word Count - 4111
This is for @blackseapearl 400 follower trope challenge. I asked for Amnesia :)
Shout Outs - A massive shout out to @blackseapearl and @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie for beta reading, ironing out all the mistakes and the motivation to keep going with it. Special hugs to @blackseapearl for talking through the ending with me and giving me some much needed inspiration and the wonderful moodboard.
This fic kicked (and is still kicking!) my ass, I’ve never had such a hard time with motivation as I have writing this long-ass bitch so I hope you enjoy it :)
It’s also LOOOOOOOONNNGGGGGGGG….. and I’m only the tiniest bit sorry about that!
Tag List - Let me know if you want on or off :) @smears-and-spots @punkrocknpearls @youbloodymadgenius @momowhoo @zuxiezendler @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @ivar-s-my-brat-tamer @pieces-by-me @heavenly1927 @berryonasummerevening @synnersaint @out-of-the-box-and-into-alchemy @petite-hime @serasvictoria @mimiiinspace @itsmysticalmystery @lonewolf471 @mylifeisactuallyamess @draculasbride-blog @love-all-things-writing @southernbe @redhead7799 @kaybee87 @ivarlover @ivarhoegh @idgafiamallthefandoms @darkphoenix5037 @profoundtyrantharmony @snarling-through-our-smiles @crazyunsexycool @xceafh @bragisrunes@noway4u @batmandallyboy @complicatedbutrare @readsalot73 @meandmycherrytree @ivarsgard
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
CHAPTER 4
Julietta is sitting in her studio in front of her easel painting the view from their expansive window, he sees her leaning into it, trying to get the correct detailing on the snow capped mountains. She is wearing a chunky cream jumper and black yoga pants. New clothes, much more relaxed than the clothes she used to wear.
He knows she isn’t wearing a bra because her jumper has slipped off her shoulder, her skin, now bronzed from days spent recovering around the pool. His eyes travel all over her, admiring her: the curve of her neck, the roundness of her shoulder, the smoothness of her skin.
He misses being with her, being intimate with her. It’s been months and months, but he is being patient with her. They haven’t even kissed more than some pecks here and there, although she is becoming more affectionate with him, more loving, but the physical side of their relationship hasn't returned.
He’s noticed her eyes on him sometimes, when she thinks she is being subtle but she isn’t; he can see her attraction growing for him, but he isn’t pushing the subject. She needs to get there in her own time.
She hasn’t heard him come in the front door, she hasn’t looked around or flashed her usual beaming smile at him. He doesn’t disturb her, he leans against the door frame watching his wife engrossed in her favourite hobby.
She starts to hum a song and it makes Ivar’s stomach flip over. He listens for another minute to be sure.
“Hello, love,” he interrupts her softly.
She looks back at him and cracks out her beautiful smile at him. “Ivar, I missed you. Come and tell me if you think this painting is rubbish.” She turns back to her easel.
“Liet, what song are you humming?” he asks gently.
“Ummm, Fleetwood Mac.”
“Everywhere.” He says quietly and she glances back at him.
“Yes, Everywhere.”
His heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest when she says she knows what she is singing. That is no coincidence, it’s confirmation to him that her memories are still in there, somewhere, and not lost forever.
She turns back to her painting and he crosses the room to stand closely behind her. He runs his finger from just beneath her earlobe all the way down her neck and over her silky shoulder.
He watches her skin raise with goosebumps and he hears a tiniest hint of a whimper leave her. “Why that song, love?” He can hear his own voice, tight and strained, and when she looks around at the moment he feels tears fall.
She jumps up from her stool and wraps her arms around him, pulling him in tight. “Ivar, what’s wrong?”
He doesn’t speak for a few beats, he buries his head into her neck enjoying the feeling of her fingers running through his hair. “That’s our song, Liet. That was our first dance song.”
Pulling away quickly they stare at each other and he can see the wheels turning in her brain. Trying to find a memory, cling to it and pull it to the forefront.
“It is?” she asks excitedly. “It's been stuck in my head for days. It’s a beautiful song.” She looks out of the window. “I wish we had a video of our wedding,” she says wistfully.
He does too.
-------------------------------------
Her thoughts have been preoccupied all afternoon, desperately trying to retrieve any memories at all since their wedding song has somehow managed to find its way out.
She flicks through their wedding photos, scrutinising every little detail but she admits defeat and puts them away.
Ivar is lounging on their comfy sofa when she walks into their living room and she is struck by an idea.
“Ivar, I’ve had an idea. Come here for me,” she beckons him over. “If my brain is being a twat then we will just have to recreate some of our memories won’t we?
He reaches her and she slides her arms up over his shoulders. “Alexa,” she calls to the device in the corner, “Play Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac.” Not taking her eyes off him, she starts to smile broadly.
“What are you doing?” he chuckles and narrows his eyes at her.
“I don’t remember our first dance so let’s recreate it now. Will you dance with me, husband?”
His smile could brighten the darkest day when she calls him that. “Husband…that’s the first time you’ve called me that and I really like it. You really want to dance here?”
“Yes. Hold me tighter.” They start to sway together, his arms around her waist, her arms encircling his neck, cheek to cheek.
They dance slowly, she can feel his heartbeat hammering through his shirt.
There are feelings growing within her, she can’t deny it now. They have been there for a while now, a sexual tension, not so much a spark as a towering inferno of attraction. She has been watching him discreetly as he moves around the house, the way his arms muscles tense when he leans on his crutch, the exposed skin of his stomach when he reaches for something high. She’s been less discreet when he gets out of the shower, towel wrapped around his middle, practically salivating at the sight of chest, stomach, and the muscles of his back. Her eyes have been following him around and if he’s noticed he hasn’t said anything.
She's been holding back but as he holds her tight - his hard body pressing against hers and the smell of his skin in her nose - she can’t for the life of her think why. It’s then that she realises that her decision is made.
She pulls her face from his neck slowly, letting his eyes focus on her before bumping his nose with hers. She tilts her head to the side slightly and connects her lips to his, slipping her tongue into his mouth.
The moan that escapes him will live in her brain forever like the sweetest song she’s ever heard. The passion between them builds quickly as their mouths stay joined, tongues languidly exploring each other. His hand slowly travels down to her ass and he pulls her into his hard dick.
She makes another decision.
When their song ends and they are left swaying in silence she breaks away from him and his mouth chases hers. “Ivar, do you want to have sex?” His face is a fascinating mix of shock and pure hopefulness that she finds absolutely adorable.
“What? Yes! Only if you want to. My Gods I’ve missed you. Are you sure?” He fumbles for words; clearly the offer was very unexpected.
“I am. I’ve been so horny for a few weeks,” her voice is tinged with the faintest hint of a whine. “I want you.”
He closes his eyes and she sees his breathing get quicker. “Say it again,” he asks, his voice low.
“I want you to fuck me, Ivar,” she tells him boldly, trying not to let embarrassment get the better of her.
His mouth is on hers again suddenly; he’s kissing the life out of her as his hands weave into her hair, he tugs her head to the side and leaves a trail of hot, wet kisses down her long neck and onto her exposed shoulder, making her moan quietly.
“Bedroom,” he demands, his voice thick with lust.
She nods and follows him down the hall. As she closes the door behind them she sees him reach the remote control and push the button to close the curtains.
“We can’t have them open? It’s so dark here when they are closed. It’s not the landscapers' day today, so no one will see us.”
The expression on his face is confusing to her: he looks shocked and a little baffled. “We can close them if you’d prefer, Ivar.”
“No… I… would like them open, only if you would?”
She nods again. “Open.”
He pushes the button on the remote and they open again, and she walks into his space. She begins to kiss him again, undoing the buttons on his shirt, pushing it off his muscled shoulders and arms, discarding it on the floor.
She is waiting for him to move but he seems rooted to the spot, hands not moving from her waist.
“Don’t you want to undress me?” she asks in a small voice.
It seems like her question is the nudge he needed to push him into action and he peels her clothes off so slowly, as if savouring every second. He takes everything off her except her black underwear. She wishes she knew this was going to happen; she’s got a drawer full of sexy underwear and she’s in plain cotton panties.
“Can I touch you?” His eyes are on her chest, hungry, wanting her. He is making her feel like the sexiest woman in the world and she hasn’t even thought about her scars.
“You better fucking had or I think I might spontaneously combust,” she laughs.
His hands are on her chest first, gently squeezing and pinching her hard nipples making her breath hitch. One hand moves down over her stomach and she feels his fingers slide under the band of her underwear, travelling down and onto her pussy. She knows what he must be feeling, she’s so turned on she’s sure he’s feeling the sticky mess he’s created.
“Oh fucking hell, love.” He kisses her roughly and she gasps as his fingers drive into her over and over again.
Her hips are rolling into his hand, fucking herself on his fingers. She whimpers at the feeling. She needs more.
As if reading her thoughts, he pulls his hand away. “Get on the bed,” he commands her, and she’s starting to get an idea of who is in charge in the bedroom.
“Take the underwear off.” He sits on the edge of the bed, away from her undoing his braces. Then he removes his trousers and boxers, taking them off in one movement. He turns towards her and uses his upper body to pull himself up over her, pushing one of her legs up roughly, allowing him space to settle between. He starts to kiss her hard.
Reaching between their bodies, she strokes his dick, and the size of him makes her smile into his mouth.
“Yeah? Do you like the way I feel?” he murmurs.
She nods quickly and is so desperate to feel him inside of her that she doesn’t question when one of his arms easily flips her onto her stomach and her right leg is pushed up.
She feels him line himself up and he pushes into her so quickly that a yell of shock and pain leaves her. She turns her head to tell him to be gentler but his hand is on the back of her neck, pinning her down into the pillow so she can’t move. He starts to fuck her too hard and too rough, calling her disgusting names, and she feels the sting of tears in her eyes.
“Iv.. Ivar... stop.” He carries on. “STOP IT!” she screams.
She twists around and drives an elbow into his ribs, wriggling away to the other side of the bed before turning to face him, tears streaming down her face.
When he sees her expression his own falls, eyes wide. “Baby, what is it? What’s wrong?” He drags himself to close the space between them, holding his side, but she recoils, bringing her knees up to her chest and his face loses all colour. “Julietta, talk to me. What’s wrong?”
The fact that he is so clueless makes her see red. “What’s wrong?! Too rough! That was too fucking rough. You didn’t give me any warning, just shoved your dick straight in me. It hurt, Ivar! I didn’t like you pinning me down like that, or those names! What the hell? I’m your wife, not some fucking whore you are paying!” She wipes her tears with the back of her hand.
He looks like he’s been slapped hard in the face. “No. Jesus no, I don’t think that. That’s how you like it, baby. Or how you used to like it. Oh Gods, I’m so sorry, Liet. That’s how we’ve always done it, baby, I promise! We should have talked about it before we did this. Forgive me, please.” He reaches for her but she flinches before she can catch herself. She sees his heart break right in front of her. “Please. Julietta, I’m so sorry. Gods, I feel like I’ve just forced myself on you. Is that how you feel?”
His face, his words, break her heart in turn, like it did his. “No, Ivar. I don’t feel like you forced yourself on me but I didn’t like that. There was no love in that, just… harshness. Is that how you like to have sex, because I don’t think that’s how I like it. Is that really what we used to do together?” she asks quietly.
“Baby… I… we used to do it like that…” he turns away again.
“Don’t move away, be honest with me. Is that how we had sex?” She can hear the disbelief in her voice. She adjusts her tone, she needs the truth. “Ivar, tell me. Is that what we used to do together?”
“Yes, love. From the very beginning.” His voice softens, and he creeps a little closer. “This was how you liked it. You’ve never liked face-to-face sex, you didn’t like the lights on. I asked why in the beginning but you never gave me a proper answer…I asked if someone had hurt you, but you always told me no and I believed you. I figured it was just your preference. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think, muscle memory kicked in I think. Oh Gods, I'm so sorry.” He covers his face and turns away from her.
She believes him. She can feel his guilt and regret radiating off him in waves, filling the air between them, wrapping around them like barbed wire. She crawls slowly across the bed and settles on her knees behind him, sliding her arms around his middle, her chin coming to rest on his shoulder. She peppers soft, light kisses over his skin, hoping it will alleviate some of the negativity that’s taken up space inside him. She knows she needs to give him some slack, Gods knows he’s given her enough these past few months.
“Ivar, when we have sex I want to see your face and I want you to see mine. Maybe that rougher stuff will come later, when I’m more comfortable with you. I’m so nervous, Ivar.. I want there to be a connection between us, sexual trust. I don’t want to feel like a fucking blow up doll being banged senseless, no feelings at all. Okay?” she asks firmly, running her hands up and down his arms, kissing his skin again. “For me, this is our first time.”
He sniffs and wipes his face, nodding strongly. “I’m sorry,” he leans his head against hers and she kisses his cheek.
“Please, don’t apologise anymore” she whispers. “It’s a process, my whole fucking life right now is just trying to figure things out, this is just another process to get through. Please don't dwell on this, or it will get stuck and that will be the end of us. We can’t have that. I can’t have that. Okay?”
He doesn’t answer her; instead, he tries to change the subject. “Let’s get dressed. I will make you some food.” He goes to get up, but she stops him.
“Ivar. Look at me.” She cups his beautiful face, turning it towards her own so he can see her pleading eyes. “I don’t want food. I want to have sex with you, I want to learn what gets you off, and what gets me off. I’m so ready, I really want to, I just didn’t like it that way. But as long as we can talk about it and can agree on some boundaries, I really don’t want to do anything but feel your skin on mine, feel you inside of me” She lies back on the pillows, letting her legs fall open. “Come here.” The sight of his face as he turns around and catches sight of her fills her with powerful lust. “I want you to go down on me, make me cum with your mouth. Do you like that?”
His eyes fly to hers, wider than dinner plates. “That’s what you want?” He huffs an excited laugh through his nose. “Really? You would never let me. You said you weren’t into it. Are you sure? I’ve always really wanted to,” he asks with his eyes glued to her pussy.
“I…think I’m sure. I will tell you if I don’t like it. I'm certain I do though.” She lets her legs fall open a little more. “You’ve never gone down on me? Have I…ever given you a blow job?”
“No, you don’t – you didn’t – like to do that. I’ve always wondered if it was because you didn’t like the look of my legs, the feel of them, and that’s why you wouldn’t, why you always wanted to have sex in the dark. I just never felt like I could ask you to…you know. Scared of the answer, I suppose,” he says with a shrug and his eyes firmly on the bed.
“It’s not that. Your legs are not an issue for me at all. I promise you,They are just your legs,” she tells him simply. “Lay down, I will go down on you and see how I feel.”
“Later, baby.” His eyes are back on her pussy, pupils blown dark. “I’ve been fantasising about how you taste for years, how you would look with my tongue on you, what noises I can get you to make with my mouth…”
He is over her in one swift movement, kissing her hard, before he starts to travel south. “Tell me if at any point you are uncomfortable, promise me.” Teasing every inch of her skin, he nips at her gently, kissing and licking everywhere but where she wants him to be.
She nods breathlessly. He leaves tiny kisses over the scar on her thigh, before running his tongue up the soft skin, higher and higher until she can feel his hot breath on her wet pussy.
“Ivar, please,” she gasps. He catches her eye, raises an eyebrow and she nods her permission to him.
He flattens his tongue and drags it softly across her dripping entrance, up over her clit. The moans that leave both of them mirror each other, his grip on her hips tight, her head pushing hard into the pillow and her face tipped up to the ceiling. He repeats his movement until she is mewling at his touch.
“My Gods you taste better than I ever imagined, keep making those noises for me, let it all out, love.” He focuses his tongue on her swollen bundle of nerves, her hands buried in his hair, hips rolling into his tongue.
“My Gods.. oh fuck,” she repeats like a broken record until she falls silent, breath held and he pushes her over the edge into a loud, shaking orgasm much quicker than either of them anticipated.
He stays between her legs, not touching her until she stops moaning. When he crawls back over her, her cheeks are red and her pupils are dark, wider than he’s ever seen them.
“Liet, I think this is the most beautiful you've ever looked.” He kisses her and she starts to giggle into his mouth.
“That was amazing! Just amazing. I definitely like it. I don’t know what was wrong with the old me, but that was fucking amazing and I want you to do it to me at least once a day!” They both dissolve into laughter.
“Julietta, I need to fuck you. Please, love? I will be gentle. I promise.” She gives him a naughty little smile and grabs his hard dick, lining him up.
“Slowly at first, okay?” she tells him, watching him intently.
He nods and drops his forehead onto hers as he slowly moves his hips, pushing inside of her, steadily. His eyes only leave hers briefly as the flutter shut at the sensation. Once he is fully seated inside her, he starts to move slowly, leisurely, and she revels in the pleasure she is giving him.
“Okay, baby? Keep talking to me,” he encourages her quietly, the tip of his nose gently bumping hers.
“Feels so good. I’m good. Don’t stop, bit faster.” Her nails rake softly across his shoulder as she clings to him, wrapping her legs around his waist, feet locked behind him.
“Baby, let me just…” he reaches to the left and grabs a pillow, “put this under your ass, it will be a good angle for you.”
He’s not wrong. When he starts to move again he drags across the heavenly spot inside her and she breaks out into a flush across her chest and face, her moans get lower, more guttural.
“Ivar...” she pants out, eyes on his.
“I know baby,, I can see it on your face. Let it go, Liet.” His encouraging words are enough and she starts to orgasm burying her face into his shoulder.
When she feels his hips falter she pulls away from his neck, eager to watch him reach his peak, and she knows in that moment she wants to watch this for the rest of her life.
They lay together, breathless, her limbs wrapped around him, not loosened at all. Neither can bear to let the other go, so Ivar turns his face into her cheek, kissing her over and over.
“That was amazing, I think we both needed that release, huh?” she purrs into his shoulder, giving him a playful bite, in turns he nuzzles into her neck making her giggle.
“I fucking know I did, baby!” he laughs.
Suddenly she goes stiff under him and she faces him quickly.
“SHIT! Ivar, am I on birth control?!”
“Yes, you have that bar thing in your arm. It’s ok, calm down.”
“Ugh, thank Gods. I need to use the restroom. I remember UTI’s and no thank you.”
She considers putting a robe in to walk back to the bed but he’s made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world so she doesn’t bother.
“Stop,” his voice is firm and demanding.
She stops dead in her tracks, frozen. “What?”
His eyes run all over her, brows knitted together. “Nothing, baby. I just wanted to look at you naked.” His face blooms and he starts to laugh as she skips towards the bed, jumps at him and starts to give him playful hits all over.
“Little pervert!”
-------------------------------------
They don’t leave the bed for the rest of the night. She goes down on him and doesn’t understand why she didn’t like it before. The power over him, the way his face looks as she teases him is absolutely intoxicating.
“Ivar, tell me more about our sex life before.”
He grimaces at her request. “Are you sure? You know how sorry I am about earlier today, right?”
She rolls her eyes, “no more apologising. Yes I think I want to know. Shit, were we into anything freaky?” she asks apprehensively.
“Nothing like that, love. The sex was always the same, you facing away from me. You liked me to be rough, it took a bit of getting used to on my part the first few times. I have to say, being able to watch your face, the pleasure I gave you, watching you come, you letting me taste you… tonight is the best sex we’ve ever had, apart for the first time, that was a little more like this. You were more… guarded before. I never felt like you fully gave yourself to me.” He sees her face fall, and he backpedals quickly. “The sex wasn’t bad, don’t think that. It was just… different to today.”
She nods slowly, letting his words settle in her brain and her questions start coming. “I wonder if something happened to me, something sexually, something I should be glad I can’t remember. What if it did and then I get my memory back and we lose this? This connection.” She panics now, the thought of losing this new aspect of their relationship scares her.
He pulls her into his arms and runs his hand over her hair. “We don’t know anything. When your memory comes back we will deal with anything we need to, we won’t go back to how it was, love. As long as we talk about everything we will be perfect. Now, let me make you cum again,” he says, throwing the covers of them both and diving straight between her legs, her squeals of delight filling the room.
Chapter 5
#vikings#MODERN VIKINGS#vikings au#vikings fic#vikings fandom#vikings fanfic#ivar#ivar the boneless#ivar the boneless x reader#ivar ragnarsson#vikings ivar#ivar fanfic#ivar imagine#ivar lothbrok#modern!ivar x ofc#Modern!AU#modern hvitserk#modern!ivar x reader#modern ivar#vikings modern au#modern ubbe#ubbe ragnarsson#ivar ragnarsson x ofc#Hvitserk Ragnarsson#ragnar lothbrok#modern!ubbe#ubbe lothbrok#ivar x ofc#ivar the boneless x ofc#OFC
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hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^
RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!
FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino
WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe
A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖
NARUTO
you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?
yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling
its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???
definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)
holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.
asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village
jiraiya was so proud of him T-T
comes up with the WORST pickup lines
they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost
has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere
it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him
you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea
concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong
he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,
“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”
you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.
SAKURA
100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you
they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???
writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror
“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”
her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would
does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again
like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair
her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats
ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.
eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters
loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly
but she especially loves chihuahuas
they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself
dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails
she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3
SHIKAMARU
this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.
is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.
it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him
tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭
just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again
hates checkers, loves chess
“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara
i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling
like that’s his hidden talent
can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm
speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue
like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it
he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible
wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.
thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at
you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day
plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)
INO
teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair
like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair
sakura was just fuming in the sidelines
“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”
yeah, ino 🙄
the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr
ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy
also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not
and definitely judges you for your sign 😣
“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”
makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower
only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)
one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff
also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes
also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands
can play a badass flute solo. period.
CHOJI
would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus
he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY
he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??
whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food
“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”
“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”
he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!
asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles
it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D
he really likes crayons!!!!
like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them
he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.
definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town
he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies
i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk
like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH
he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3
NEJI
he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.
just cucumber
like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah
it’s mellow and cool, just like him!
speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials
it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well
seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.
i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why
like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye
CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows
who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute
he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul
he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T
also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you
LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.
i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature
he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna
it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶
ROCK LEE
100% milly rocks everywhere
gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing
“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”
they also dab together. a lot
DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.
definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party
he’s mad skilled at it too
headspins and windmills galore
challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him
lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back
naruto obliged, and he STILL lost
RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T
i feel like his favorite subject is science
not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS
definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair
but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time
created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day
and it was actually working
girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face
he was so abashed at the sudden attention
heck, it even worked on sakura
“oi, lee-san!”
“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”
her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder
“hey... lee-san?”
“what is it?”
“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”
legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.
TENTEN
has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast
it’s like a superpower
like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting
naruto is so jealous.
she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things
taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them
she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool
made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them
i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes
LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds
like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!
hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs
she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan
sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this
but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)
KIBA
kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not
like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect
you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house
it’s pure artwork
i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭
kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.
he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO
he just wallowed there... in shame...
also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!
he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence
not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost
okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!
seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7
it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning
10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️
HINATA
always smells like lavender soap. always
also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things
oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)
everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters
and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭
naruto goes BALLISTIC over them
she lets him have all of them <3
tennis girl!!! tennis girl.
all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet
but she has a KILLER serve
and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)
she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance
i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies
she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional
also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!
color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane
everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^
SHINO
shino is SO easy to prank
“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*
“eyemaster bait. that is because—”
even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE
tried his hand at writing haikus
here’s his best one so far:
“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame
VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect
praise it, pls
had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid
and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.
he loves the little chitters of the different bugs
he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room
collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)
HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says
“my ants”
if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3
#naruto#naruto x reader#naruto headcanons#naruto imagines#naruto uzumaki#sakura headcanons#shikamaru headcanons#ino yamanaka#choji akimichi#kiba headcanons#kiba inuzuka#hinata hyuuga#hinata hyuga#shino aburame#neji headcanons#neji hyuuga#rock lee#kiba imagines#shikamaru imagines#hc
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Wingless
Hello! So this was the fic I've been working on, and I just wanted to quickly say this is an AU-based fic (Kinda).
WARNING MANGA SPOILERS
So I understand what's going on in the manga, but I started this fic when Keigo was injured. so I wrote a fic about how Keigo and you would deal with him losing both his wings and a part of himself.
this story contains manga spoilers, as well as warnings of mental and physical abuse (kind of), hurt to comfort, mentions of Depression, blood, someone gets glass stuck in their hand, and therapy.
no pronouns are given to the reader. Word count: 7k
. . .
You practically ran through the hospital, not listening to the nurses and doctors as they told you to slow your pace. Your mind only screamed out for him, screaming for him to be alive, for him to just be okay. You could hear your heart thumping hard against your chest, tears spilling down your cheeks.
As you ran near his room, a doctor finally managed to stop you.
“Please, calm down! He’s in this room but I can not allow you in if you act like this. You will only stress my patient out more, and we have just managed to sedate him.” the doctor held out his hands as he spoke, trying to calm you.
Although, it clearly wasn’t working. Your eyes only shone more with brimming tears, your hands shook as the doctor spoke.
After a few minutes of you catching your breath and calming yourself down, the doctor told you that you were able to see him.
You felt as if your whole body was on fire as you walked through the doors to his hospital room.
The window that overlooked the city gave an impressive view (if it wasn’t in a hospital, you probably would have stopped and looked down at the city below). The bathroom, you could see, was on your left. There was even a vanity and a television in the room as well.
But you really didn’t have time to look around, your eyes were already focused on the man that lay on the hospital bed.
Machines were hooked up to him, tubes ran out of his skin every witch way. He was flipped on his stomach to accommodate his wings or lack thereof. Bandages covered almost every area you could see, the blood on them was minimal, yet they looked new, meaning they had been changed.
You rushed to his side, stopping only when the line of his IV almost collide with your foot.
“Keigo,” you said it so lightly you were afraid only you could even hear it.
But Keigo’s eyes shot open, looking up at you, “...Y/N?”
God, his voice was a raspy mess, it sounded as though it wasn’t even his.
If you could, you would break down right then and there. Crying over him, telling him you were there for him, that you would always be there for him, no matter the hardships he was sure to overcome. You wanted desperately to hold him, to whisper love-filled words to him, to wipe away the pain you knew he was feeling.
But you didn’t, you couldn’t.
You knew you had to be strong for him in that moment, and for all the moments yet to come. You knew that what was going to happen to you two would not be easy.
So you couldn’t cry, no matter how much you wanted to.
You lightly stroked his cheek, “I’m here Kei, I’m right here. I won't leave you.”
Silent tears ran down his face as he spoke, his voice cracking, “I’m sorry.”
----
After what happened with Dabi Toya, the commission tried their best to cover everything up, telling the public that Dabi had to be wrong. But the public eye was persistent.
The truth was out, there was nothing you or Keigo could do to stop it. Everyone knew about his name, his father, and what he had done to Twice, as well as the fact that he had lost to Dabi. You knew it would be hard for him to come back to that.
The media had always been a bit ruthless when it came to Keigo, but now, it was up by tenfold. They talked about how they believed that Keigo was not worthy of his hero title. A false hero they called him.
And Keigo?
Luckily, he didn’t hear very much of it. You made sure of that. You wanted him to rest, to let what had happened wash over him little by little, and you knew if he heard what the news had been saying about him, that he might never recover.
When Keigo was a bit more stable, he still rarely talked.
His eyes didn’t shine like they used to, his face, once so uplifting and beautiful, was marred with a long scar that he had on his face.
But no matter what, you stayed with him, no matter what, you would be by his side.
But seeing Keigo like this? It was unbearable.
He would only eat if you were there to persuade him, he would only look at you if you practically begged him to.
You knew it was a selfish want, you knew it was, but you wanted your Keigo back. You wanted the man who held you in his arms, telling you he would fly to the moon and back if it meant you would give him your love. You wanted the man that stopped at nothing to protect others, you wanted the man that smiled when the going got tough, you wanted Keigo.
But you had to accept that this was Keigo.
And you wouldn’t leave him, you couldn’t. He was always there for you when you needed him most, and you weren’t going to do the same.
After what had happened with Keigo, the commission thought it would be best to send him away, let the media storm die down, letting him also take time to heal his wings.
You had to fight them in order to come as well. At first, they told you that Hawks should just be concerned with getting his wings back and becoming “hero ready”.
You should have known. You knew, of course, that the HPSC was corrupted, but you didn’t think they were heartless. Yet, you were proven wrong.
You wished they could understand, you wished everyone could understand. Keigo was so loving and kind, you just wished people would understand that about him. What Keigo had to do to Twice… you knew he didn’t want to kill him, Keigo wasn’t like that. He didn’t take pleaser in violence, all he wanted was to see others happy.
And it made your blood boil that the higher up’s couldn’t understand.
You told them how Keigo needed someone to be his caretaker, and you would be the best candidate. You knew he wouldn’t object, you told them that you would work for free, seeing as he and you had been dating, as well as living together for the last few years.
Finally, with a lot of persuading, they agreed.
They sent you and Keigo to a remote location near the shores of Japan, seeing as they wanted Keigo to not remember the effects of the fight, and thought the best course of action was to send him so far out that he would have nothing to remind him of, “The Incident”.
The house was a small little thing, a lot smaller than what you and Keigo were used to at least.
It was close to the ocean, giving it a more country feeling rather than the city vibe you and Keigo used to live in. The smell of the ocean hit you full force when you two arrived, the salty, yet homie smell was a nice difference to the fullness of the air of the city.
The home had a total of seven rooms, all on the same floor.
The master bedroom had enough space, it fit a bed, a vanity, and a closet as well as a connection to the master bathroom. The walls were painted a low white, you wouldn’t call it cream however that was the closest rendition. The floors were all wood, you could feel the sand beneath your feet, you had a feeling the stuff would get everywhere.
There were three bathrooms, a guest room, a living room, and a kitchen.
The whole house honestly just felt...nice.
The floors felt grainy against your feet, but it felt weirdly cozy, kind of like how a beach house should feel. The carpeting was a bit musty for your taste, you had a feeling that would be your first project to do with the house. The couch was a bit too firm, you expected that, but still, it just needed to be worn in. The kitchen wasn’t big, but for two people, it would do.
You spent the first week moving in, all by yourself.
Keigo would only stay in bed, looking out the window, in some far-off world he was in.
You wanted to cry when you would walk into the master bedroom and see him upright on the mattress, not doing or saying anything, just staring, a shell of the man you once knew.
It made your heart clench though, normally, Keigo would always be the first to lend a helping hand, that was just his nature, to want to help. But this, this was something that broke you even more.
-----
The first few weeks were rough.
Not hard, just rough.
The only way you could even describe Keigo was just numb.
His eyes were sunken, his hair a tattered mess. His face was droopy, the once perfect-looking man now sat alone in bed, looking as though he was almost near death.
And his scar.
It served as a perfect reminder of what had happened, a symbol of the pain Keigo had gone through. You knew what he felt when he saw it, you knew what he was probably thinking when he looked in the mirror to have the long stripe of red and pink looking back at him.
Yet, you pretended not to notice.
He would barely say anything to you, choosing instead, to be silent.
For the first few days, it was hard to get him out of bed, hard for him to even eat anything.
On most days you found yourself sitting alone when you ate, going on walks by yourself on the sandy beach, watching TV all alone.
You missed him, it was hard not to. But you knew that this was hardest on Keigo, so of course, you let him have all the time he needed. Letting him sulk and wallow in his self-pity, letting his feelings shroud him. You felt as though you had to, he had every right to feel this way.
But it was hard.
It was hard having Keigo sleep in the master bedroom while you slept all alone in the guest, it was hard to be so silent in the house, it was hard living with someone who was basically a ghost.
One day though, you found him crying.
You quickly ran over to him, scared that he had somehow hurt himself. But he didn’t, nothing had happened to him.
But he sat straight up in his bed, shaking like he was cold, his hands wrapped around something you couldn’t see.
“Keigo, honey?” you asked carefully as you stepped into the room, “Is everything ok hun?”
But it was like he couldn’t even hear you, whatever he was holding, it certainly had his attention.
You walked slowly over to him, reaching out to him, like he was a wounded animal, “Keigo? What is it?”
Finally, you managed to see what it was.
It was a picture of him, of him with his beautiful red wings, smiling at the camera in his hero outfit, with one hand giving a thumbs up and the other around your waist.
In comparison to the picture, you could barely tell it was Keigo anymore. With his sunken eyes and hollow cheekbones, the scar is a stripe of change.
“Keigo I-” you took a deep breath, what were you supposed to even say? How could you even console him? How could you help ease his pain?
You couldn’t.
So you just held him, held him in your arms, trying to hide your tears from him, so he wouldn’t see you hurting as well.
. . .
But one day, when you were sitting on the porch of your borrowed home, watching the waves hit the sandy beach below, watching the sun as it hit the horizon.
It was bitter-sweet, you were all alone, watching the beautiful sight without anyone to share it with.
You sighed, contemplating whether or not to go back inside, but then... Keigo came.
It startled you, you weren’t expecting him to come off his bed, much less to see you.
He sat down in the nice little chair that was right next to you.
He didn’t say anything for a good few moments, but then, all of a sudden he spoke.
“The ocean looks really pretty, I like...I like being here with you.”
You were shocked, to say the least. Keigo had barely acknowledged your presence during this time, he hadn’t spoken to you at all during these few weeks. So to hear him say that...
You damn near cried.
You had been holding in your anxiousness and, overall, depression of not having Keigo back to his regular self. It was hard, that much was certain, but still, he was going through such a difficult time, you had to be there for him.
You quickly brushed the tear that had feel from your eye, “I-I like being here with you too.”
----
After that, things were...different.
Keigo was a bit more clingy, although, maybe you should say protective.
You would go out on your walks and would come home to him being upset, asking where you were, and fussing about you going out.
“Well, what if something happened? Just stay here.”
You asked the doctors about that, they told you how some patients latched on to certain things or people after a traumatic event, most of the time clinging desperately to what they felt was the only thing they had left.
They told you his newfound desire to be near you could be a sign of him getting worse, or it could be a sign he was getting better.
The doctor told you it was much more likely that Keigo needed something to hang on to, a sort of attachment. And again, they told you Keigo needed to see a therapist, he had so much trauma after the battle that you probably wouldn’t be able to handle it.
You knew that you should listen and that you probably couldn’t deal with Keigo all on your own. But still, you wanted to move at Keigo's pace, and you knew he needed time.
. . .
The first night you and Keigo spent in the same bed after what had happened was...strange.
Although you two lived in the same little beach house for a month now, you two haven't slept next to one another, you weren’t sure Keigo was ready just yet.
And yet, he was the one who asked you.
It happened on a normal day, while you were making dinner when Keigo spoke.
“Hey...Y/N..” you turned back to him, giving him your full attention, “Could we….could we try sleeping together? I know...I know it’s been some time but-”
“Yes!” you hastily accepted, “I mean...only if you want to.”
And so, you found yourself curled up next to Keigo, feeling him cuddled up to you, which was nice of course, but his body felt stiff like it didn’t want to be close to you.
The whole experience was… different. Normally, Keigo would wrap his arms around you, holding you against him, holding you securely and tightly, like you knew he wouldn’t let you go.
But this, this was different, but you should have expected that by now. You should have known that, now, it was so unlikely that you would ever see the old version of Keigo again.
And then it was there again, that slap of guilt, that pang of hurt at your own thought. How could you think that? Keigo was hurting, and you were upset that he was in pain?
You bit your lip, quietly willing yourself not to cry.
------
Keigo’s mood swings would happen randomly, with no merit at all.
One moment, he was blindly looking at the TV, the next he would be offering to help with dinner, then the next he was screaming at you to add more pepper to the onions.
When his first outburst happened, you blamed yourself.
You had left Keigo for what only seemed like a moment, going outside to feel the air on your face, wanting to just get out of the stuffy little cottage.
You were just watching from the porch when you heard it.
The sound of glass shattering.
You whipped your head to the sound, to find it coming from inside.
You rushed inside, running towards the kitchen.
“Keigo!” you cried out.
You stopped at the doorway to the kitchen, looking down at Keigo on the floor.
A glass of some sort had broken in Keigo’s hand, from what you could tell. It seemed like he had gotten some of it stuck in his hand, blood dripped onto the floor, sticking to the hardwood floor.
Keigo just stared, his eyes the most lively you’ve seen them in weeks. He didn’t say anything, didn’t even acknowledge your presence, just staring at his hand, looking at the blood as it dripped...dripped...dripped.
And then, he screamed.
It was so loud and so unexpected you quickly covered your ears, trying to block out the head-splitting sound.
When you finally regained your composure, you rushed down to Keigo's side, trying your best to help him.
But Keigo shoved you away.
“No! Stop! Go away! I-I don’t wanna hurt anymore! Stop it, leave me alone!” he scooted away from you, holding out his palms, trying to make you leave.
But you wouldn’t.
Slowly, you spoke, “Keigo, I need to help you, ok? I’m not here to hurt you, baby, I’m Y/N, I love you.”
You inched closer and closer as Keigo hiccuped and sniffed.
“Stop it! Don’t c-come any closer!”
You stilled, only for a moment. Then, you moved forward again.
“Honey, I have to clean your wound, please baby.”
Keigo’s breath still raged, but he let you come closer.
Before you even looked at the wound on his hand, you gave him a light kiss on the cheek. Keigo was shocked, flinching a bit at first.
You carefully picked up his hand, observing it lightly. The glass pricked his hand, but the overall damage wasn’t all that bad, it might have been worse if you hadn’t rushed to him.
You took a deep breath, “Keigo, I’m gonna need to remove the glass-”
But Keigo cut you off, “No no no no no, please. Please, I don’t wanna get hurt again. Please.”
“Keigo,” you stroked your cheek lightly, “it’s ok, it’s me, it’s Y/N.”
You purse your lips, thinking for a moment, “Remember when I got that splinter from the hardwood at that crummy hot spring? And remember how you had to pull it out? And remember how scared I was?”
He thought for a moment as if the memory was buried deep inside him, a lifetime ago. He nodded, tears still running down his face.
“It’s gonna be like that, ok? Quick, and I’ll be right there with you, just like you were for me.”
After a moment, Keigo nodded.
You made quick work of the glass, helping Keigo through the little whimpers and hiccups he let out.
Keigo was never like this before, never fighting over glass in his hand, he was a hero, he dealt with pain daily. But this Keigo was beyond damaged. He was ripped in half, put through more pain than you would ever understand, the mental strain of that had to be so much, it had to weigh on him.
The thought only made your resolve stronger, only made your need to see Keigo get better that much more secure.
After you had bandaged his hand, kissing his knuckles and wrist softly in order to calm him down, you noticed how exhausted he was.
“Do you wanna go and take a nap, Kei?”
He nodded.
You walked him to the room, helping him to bed.
You planted a small kiss on his lips before moving away to leave.
But Keigo caught the fabric of your shirt, pulling on it lightly, “Wait.”
You turned back to face him, “Yeah. what's up Kei?”
“Um, could you...join me?”
Your body perked up. This was one of the first times he had seemed...needy for contact with you. Sure, he still slept next to you, but you figured that was mainly due to some comfortability. But the way Keigo was looking at you right now? His eyes softened with desperation, his body, while still heavy with drowsiness, had enough strength to pull you to him. He seemed to genuinely want you to stay.
You smiled, a real, genuine smile, “Of course I can Keigo.”
You slid into the spot next to him, and Keigo had his arms immediately around your waist, pulling you flush against him. His face nuzzled softly into your neck, his whole body trapping you in a needed embrace.
You played with his hair, giving yourself a mental note that you needed to wash it and brush it out later.
That's when you heard the sniffling in your neck.
“Kei,” you said gently, “what’s wrong?”
It took a few labored breaths for Keigo to respond, “I’m sorry.”
At first, you were confused. What did Keigo have to be sorry about? He had done nothing wrong to you, he hadn’t said anything bad to you, the most he had really done was worry you. But he continued.
“I’m sorry for being so weak, for letting myself get like this, it’s all my fault. And I’m sorry I’m a burden for you, I know how much you loved me, how much you loved being with a strong hero,” he took another shaky breath before continuing, “But I can't. I can’t do it anymore. It hurts so bad. And now, no one wants me. I’m a failure, they’re right,” Keigo squeezed you tighter as if you would leave him too, “I’m a false hero. I failed everyone, the commission, my friends, Tokoyami. And you,” he looked back up at you, “why are you even here? I’m useless now, why can’t you see that? Why won’t you just leave? It would be better for you.”
You hadn’t even realized you had been crying before you felt how shaky your voice was, “No. Keigo that’s not true, I love-”
But he cut you off, “No!” he bolted upright, “Stop it! Stop it Y/N! I’m not who you love, that Keigo is dead and gone, look at me! I’m a shell of who he was, I’m the failure he left behind! Christ Y/N, I fucking broke down because I had fucking glass in my hand!”
He cupped his ears, seemingly trying to block out some sort of noise that you couldn’t even hear. Rocking back and forth lightly, his bandaged hand squeezing hard on his left ear.
“Keigo stop it,” you tried to get his hand away, “you're going to hurt yourself!”
After fighting him for a moment, you finally got him to put his hands down. You pulled him to you, placing his head on your chest as you calmed him down.
“Kei,” you said after a long stretch of silence, “I love you, and I’m not leaving you.”
Keigo hiccuped, “B-but.”
You shushed him, “No but’s. I’m here to stay, it’ll be hard, I know that, but I can’t leave you.”
For the first time in God now’s how long, Keigo reached up and kissed you.
It wasn’t a light, small little peck either, it was a sloppy, desired-filled kiss. You were shocked at first, seeing as how he was yelling at you a second ago, but you let yourself indulge a bit. You craved Keigo, missed his lips, his strong, protective hands that run up your body, you just missed him really.
Your hand moved down to his chest, pulling him deeper. His hands grabbed onto your hips, pulling you more in.
His teeth clashed against yours, and maybe it was because you two haven't done this in so long, or it was because neither of you cared.
You couldn’t help but let out a small moan as Keigo pushed more against you, pushing you near the head of the bed.
After a few moments of the kiss, you pulled away.
“Please,” Keigo whispered lightly, “Please don’t leave me.”
------
After that, the situation with you and Keigo became so much more complicated.
Keigo would become so irritable, that you had to stand outside for hours just for him to calm down.
But the worst was when he acted so apologetic afterward, saying his, “I’m sorry”’s over and over again, sputtering about how he would, “do better.”
Of course, you felt like absolute shit, wanting to scream, to cry, to leave even. But you couldn’t. Keigo was in so much pain, you had to be strong now, you had to be there for him like he had been for you. You shoved down your tears, fighting the urge to scream and cry, waiting out your feelings.
Was it a bad coping mechanism? Yes. But you already felt so useless, you didn’t want to be a burden too.
For a while, you had hoped that he would help himself get better, you had hoped that he really was trying to get better and understand how to help himself more, but as time went on, you saw how naive you were.
You realized that Keigo was almost beyond repair, some days he would be silently upset, not talking or saying anything. While others you could hear it in his voice.
While some days you came into your shared room to see him curled up on the bed, crying and whimpering. And then there was you, unable to help, unable to tell him how, “it would be ok,” how, “I’m here for you, Kei.”
Because you knew he wouldn’t listen.
And yet, he would never yell at you, never scream or degrade you, he would only seem to be mad at...himself.
Yet, it was strange, because he seemed to grow more and more protective of you.
If you were to leave the house, he would become upset, saying how; “You could have gotten hurt, next time either take me with you or stay...please.”
It was strange how he always asked, how he never demanded.
But today, today was different.
You had noticed that Keigo was especially irritable, so you decided to just stay out of his way. Deciding to work on meal prep, because of Keigo’s accident the doctors told you to watch his meals carefully, making sure he eats a well-balanced meal each and every day.
Maybe Keigo would calm down, maybe today could still be ok, maybe you could salvage the day and make it a good one.
But that was before the broadcast.
. . .
You were outside that day, watching as the sun showned on the ocean.
You wished silently that Keigo could have enough strength to come out and see it with you. Yet, you didn’t push him.
Keigo, on the other hand, was watching some TV. Well, "watch" was a strong word. Keigo’s eyes were far off again, You never asked him what he was thinking about, but you knew it had to be something but what happened.
As you watch the waves crash against the shore, and the sun slowly sets, that's when it happened.
The broadcast.
At first, the broadcast was only just a news reporter talking about how; “us as a society must look forward, through these dark times.” Talking about the loss of certain Hero’s and civilians alike.
but the segment right after that, that's what sent Hawks into his spiral.
“And now, what has happened to the pro hero known as Hawks? And I posed a question to all of our viewers out there, should he be forgiven? Can a man who ruthlessly killed someone, even a villain, be considered a hero?”
You weren't there when the news reporter posed the question, you were only there for the aftermath.
At first, Keigo was in shock, and then, his outburst happened.
It was the worst outburst since the accident. He was screaming, yelling, hitting anything, he just needed some way to get his anger out.
When you heard the commotion, you immediately ran inside, worried that something may have hurt him. But as you went inside, you realized that there was nothing wrong, at least not from what you could see. But to Keigo, everything was wrong.
When you came in, all you could hear was yelling, “What was it all for?! I just...I just wanted to help!”
You were stunted into silence, only being able to watch from afar.
It was like you couldn’t move, your body glued down to the floor, unable to help Keigo.
And then, he hit the TV, hard.
And that's when you finally spoke.
“Keigo stop!”
You rushed forward, grabbing his arm from hitting the wall.
You latched on to him, “Keigo please, please honey just calm-”
But it was too late, and before you knew what was happening, Keigo had thrown you on the ground.
You landed on your hands, cushioning your fall, but that didn’t mean it hurt.
For a moment, everything was still, everything was silent. Keigo wasn’t yelling, he wasn't screaming, and when you looked back up, the only thing you saw was true horror and guilt.
You panted lightly, your eyes blown wide as you stared back up at Keigo.
“...Y/N-”
What was he to say?
He didn’t know.
“K-Keigo,” you were at a complete loss for words.
After a few more minutes, you stood back up. You took one, shaky breath, before you spoke.
“Keigo, I’m sorry. I-I...I can’t do this right now. It’s just… this is all too much for me right now. I think I need to clear my head.”
You moved past him, not even looking him in the eye. How could you? Your mind was a mess, a thousand thoughts jumbled through your brain.
You opened the door quickly, taking your car keys before you left, refusing to look back.
----
The ocean waves looked stunning in the sunlight, it might have been the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
At least, you would have if the tears in your eyes weren’t blocking out your vision.
And your head wouldn’t stop spinning. Was Keigo ok? Should you go back? Could you even go back? What would you even say to him?
No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself that leaving Keigo behind was for the best, that you two just needed to be away from each other, you felt like your heart was being slowly stabbed through with needles, one for every second away.
You sniffed, wiping away your tears with the back of your palm.
There had to be a way Keigo could get better, some way you could help. But every thought eluded you, how could you help someone so far gone?
You thought back to the doctor's suggestion of getting a therapist, maybe it was time. Keigo was getting too out of hand for you, and as much as you loved him, you knew that this was hurting him as much as you.
A sigh escaped your lips, why did this have to be so difficult?
And that thought came to you again.
Why couldn’t he just be himself again?
You shivered at your own selfish, hurtful thoughts. Keigo was still him, he just needed help, and thinking about how much you wanted the old him back wasn’t going to help him or you. And it wasn’t fair either, to expect that after what happened he would just be fine.
You knew you would always be there for him, but you supposed you didn’t think it would be this hard.
You placed your face in your hands.
How the hell could you help him? You felt as though Keigo was on the edge of a mountain, and you were the only thing he could grab onto, but now, he was pulling you down with him.
A small, shaky sigh escaped you.
Crunch, crunch.
Footsteps. Fast approaching, almost running.
You cocked your head up, preparing to be kicked off whoever's land that you were on (considering how you just decided to drive to the middle of nowhere).
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought that this was public-”
But you stopped mid-sentence.
There stood Keigo, tears streamed down his cheeks, his panting breaths and sweat glistening from his body must have meant he came all the way out here on foot.
Your eyes widened in surprise, but before you could get a word in, Keigo had bent down to you.
“Are you hurt?”
You shook your head, still in shock, “N-no.”
He sighed, but his face concentrated like he was thinking too hard, “I’m sorry.” and then, a long, silent pause, “I don’t...I don’t know what else to say.”
“...I don’t either,” you looked back up at him again. “You could have really hurt me, and I just don’t know how to deal with all this. I don’t know how to deal with...you.”
Keigo flinched, the implications of your words stung.
“It’s just...I want to be there for you, I really do, but it’s so hard,” you looked down tears threatening to escape, “I love you s-so much, b-but,” a silent hiccup went through you, “I don’t know how to help anymore.”
Keigo stayed silent, his words trapped under his tongue. He also didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to help himself too, but he knew deep down he couldn’t. He didn’t know how. But he hated what he was doing to you, he hated what he was making you go through.
“Keigo,” he looked back up at you, “Do you still love me?”
Keigo stared wide-eyed back to you, his words at a loss. “I- of course, I do Y/N-”
“Then why don’t you say it?”
He paused, “...What do you mean?”
You sighed, “Have you noticed that ever since what happened, you’ve not been able to say ‘I love you,' to me? Because I have. Each morning I wake up, and I always say, ‘good morning Kei, I love you,’ and you never say it back. It feels like I’m just invisible to you. I don’t want to look at you as something to fix, or as something to make me feel miserable, but I can’t live with someone who just sees me like a ghost.”
It took a while before Keigo finally responded.
“I don’t see you as a ghost,” he said, his voice as low as a whisper, “it’s that I see me as the ghost. I lost...I lost a big part of me in that fight.”
Subconsciously, he reaches back to his used-to-be wings, his fingers flinching when nothing is there.
“Keigo, you are not your wings.”
“How can you say that when everything I was...was built off of them?”
You leaned forward, a hand placed lightly on his cheek, “Your wings did not build our relationship, we did. And we still have each other. Your wings were never the reason I loved you, your wings were always just a part of you, they were never you.”
Keigo looked back at you, placing a hand on top of yours. After a few, dragged-out moments, Keigo leaned into you. But not before whispering lightly on your lips, “I do love you, Y/N.”
. . .
Things were hard, but they were better.
It had been three weeks since the accident that happened with you and Keigo. He agreed to go to a therapist, after what happened with you two, he wanted to get help.
What neither you nor he expected though, was for his therapist to also recommend you get help as well.
In his words; “After understanding the stress that Mr. Takami has gone through, as well the details that he has shared with me, I believe that it is necessary for you to also have some sort of mental treatment. Keigo was not in the right state of mind for a very long time, and you were the only person here to look after him. I believe you first need to talk about your problems separately and then move on to couples therapy. Some of the actions Mr. Takami has put you through may have had negative effects on your psyche.”
Although that was a shock to you, Keigo visibly became more saddened after that.
After the conversation with the therapist, Keigo even offered to move out of your shared room.
“If- if you’re uncomfortable with me being here, I can take the spare room.”
You only shook your head no, saying, “I’m not uncomfortable sleeping next to you, Kei, we’re in this together.”
And you were.
Keigo went to his therapist, as did you. At first, you weren’t sure, seeing as Keigo and you would see the same person and how that may make a conflict of interest, but he assured you that Keigo dealt with trauma relating to his fight, as did you of course, but your trauma and anxiety was more based upon him.
So, you made it work.
After a while of one-on-one counseling, you moved to couples therapy.
It was hard, mostly for Keigo, because he didn’t want to admit to himself, or you, that he had hurt you as much as he did.
So, you opened first.
You talked about how scared you were of losing Keigo, not just physically but mentally, how it hurt you that some days he wouldn’t talk to you. You even opened up about missing the old him.
It seemed like when you first opened your mouth, everything just came pouring out.
And so, after you explained your side, slowly, Keigo started to explain his.
He explained how he didn’t want to hurt you, but how he just couldn’t help himself in that moment. He felt like everyone was turning on him, abandoning him, he thought it was only a matter of time before you. And he couldn’t handle how that thought chased him, his mind just became so jumbled and uncertain.
But he wanted to get better, to show you the man you deserved.
Soon, you came to realize how your relationship would never be the same since that day, how you had lost a part of Keigo, and how Keigo had lost a part of himself. And that part, that part split you two, like a deep cut, and now you two had to sew it back together, and you both knew it would be hard.
Losing that part of your life took time, it took practice and understanding, it took watching Keigo wake up in a nightmare, watching as he screamed and all you could do was hush him and stroke his cheek softly as you told him how you were there, even as tears slipped down your cheeks as well.
But you let them, you let yourself show him that you were sharing the pain, that you were together in this.
Keigo was hurting, you knew that, but as your therapist told you; “You are grieving, grieving for that Keigo that died in that battle, and not only are you grieving, you are also trying your best to take care of someone who was already so broken that now they might as well be shards of the vase they once were.”
But that didn’t stop you from explaining how you felt selfish and terrible, how you felt like you were a bad person for feeling upset, for wanting Keigo to go back to you.
After each therapy session, you two would go out and sit on the porch, not doing or saying anything, because you both realized you had said plenty before.
. . .
After a year since then, things had gotten significantly better.
Keigo and you understood the inner workings of your relationship, not only that, you both understand each other a lot better. Understanding how you both needed one another, how you two could only grow to help each other.
Almost a year has passed since the incident with Dabi, a year since Keigo “lost” his wings.
But his wings were back, and he was back.
Although, maybe not fully.
Keigo was almost like a different vision of himself, a more, down to earth, real version of who he was.
Maybe, it was the person he always was, but just never could show it.
With you, he was the most caring he’s ever been.
Watching as you fell asleep in his arms, creasing your body oh-so-perfectly as he kissed you deeply, his sing-song praises in your ear. He loved you so much.
And you, you helped him grow as well. Being there for him, watching him, helping him.
You never left him, you carried out your promise to yourself, keeping him with you no matter what. You loved him so much, and you were so happy to see how he healed.
And here you both were, Watching as the sunset, as the ocean waves tied down, the sun Illuminating the water passing over.
You watched as Keigo’s eyes lit up in the bright light, his scar’s still reflecting the hard past that he's been through, and yet, reminding you how lucky you are.
At that moment you leaned in, giving him a light peck on his cheek.
Keigo turned to you, before laughing, “Why did you do that?"
"Because... I just realized how lucky I am to have you. Thank you, Keigo.”
"There's no need to thank me, dove," he said, kissing you as well "I'll always love you, and I always will be thankful that I have you as well."
#bnha#bnha hawks#mha#hawks#mha keigo takami#hawks x reader#keigo takami#hawks x y/n#takami keigo x reader#bnha keigo#keigo x reader#keigo x y/n#mha keigo x reader#mha x reader#hurt to comfort#x readers#hawks imagine#fanfic hawks
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Stripes the 50 year old tiger
This will be a longer post, because it’s all about the details, and there was a lot of going back and forth with photos and emails to get Stripes and his stripes just right. So be sure you’re comfy when you sit down to read it. :-)
***************
Stripes person first wrote to me back in December about her tiger, Stripes, and his companion RedEye the snake. Both were starting to feel their age, but as she said,
“ As you can see Stripes is in the most need of repairs. Personally, I’m guessing that a full recovering is needed, but I’m certainly no expert and will follow your advice. Here are some pics which show Stripes fur disappearing and soon he will be bald. Amazingly he has no damage that I can find. His ears need some stuffing, but they have never been tall, firm standing Teddy Bear ears.”
Here are the diagnosis photos she sent:
As you can see, his belly section was pretty good, but his furry parts were wearing and fading. His person really wanted his fur recovered, in an orangier rather than tanner fur, and she opted for him to have a spa too.
Here he is in his bubble bath:
Once he was dry, he got restuffed and of course, got a heart with a bit of his original stuffing. Here’s his heart being made:
Then it was time to choose furs. As some of you know who’ve been reading for a while, usually with tigers we use a solid fur of the preferred background color, then add the stripes by hand afterwards. Here were the best fur options:
His person opted for the orangier, furrier one.
Stripes got recovered, and some smaller wounds on his belly were sewn. Then, it was time for hand striping. I did some basic striping, and then sent photos for feedback:
His person’s first response was:
Beth, you’ve made me cry at work. I’m absolutely over the moon with Stripes new look!!! Holy cats he’s looking beautiful!! You are AMAZING!
But I was asking for striping feedback, and she happily provided it:
The stripes. Thank you for being so conservative. :) I would like to add some more stripes. I’ve included an updated pic that shows where I would like some stripes added.
Tail: Could you put 2 stripes in a ring pattern around the tail? They continue the black spots you started. I also noticed with other Gund tigers that the ring was painted at a slight angle or sprayed as 2 “halves”, not a straight ring that looked like a raccoon’s tail. (pics) I know that there was more black at the tip of the tail, but I don’t think the whole tip was black.
Back Leg: I’ve continued your 3 spots into stripes.
Body: I’ve added 2 stripes, but if you will notice stripe #2 is in the shape of a ‘V”. (I remember this detail as a child) The stripes do NOT have to line up with the fabric underneath. They didn’t before. :D
Face: I’ve added a short stripe above Stripes’ right eye. This detail always gave him a slight serious look without being mean. (not a lot of slant to the line, if any) I have always loved this detail about him. And I’ve elongated the stripe on his forhead.
Beth, I’m pretty sure we will be adding some more stripes to the back, especially his head but I thought we might tackle this bit first.
She closed with:
Again, I just absolutely can’t thank you enough for your beautiful and loving work on my best friend. I have been showing people the before and after pics for the last 5 hours. I’m so happy!!!
So back to drawing stripes on Stripes I went. Here are the next batch of photos:
Stripes person was thrilled:
Stripes looks spectacular!! I mean he is just awesome with the stripes that you’ve filled out.
She wanted just one more stripe. She sent a photo, but it was in another format, so I won’t put it here, but she also described what she wanted very well:
So I just have 1 more stripe for you. If you look at my pic, you will see that I’ve drawn a line over the small black dot that is on his forehead. In the last pic you sent me you can still see that it’s just a spot and not a stripe. Could you lengthen that spot into a stripe for me?
Please note the position. When you are seated facing Stripes, this stripe includes/starts at the black spot and runs towards the right. You have a pretty stripe that’s higher on the head already placed on the left so this one goes off to the right and is the same length as that one.
Adjustment made, I sent another photo (you can see the printout with her line instruction next to him):
Her response:
Perfection Achieved! I’m so so happy!!!! How many exclamation points can I put in an email to show you how perfect Stripes is!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So Stripes got packed up and headed home to a grateful human and snake. Here he is at home with his pal, RedEye:
His person was soooo happy! She wrote a very long thank you, with a history of Stripes and RedEye, and I don’t want to edit it, so I’m copying it entirely here for you to read. But you can skip it if you want and just know she was happy!
Hi Beth,
Sit back and relax. This may be a little bit of a long happy read. :D Please feel free to use any content or pics from my emails for your blog.
I waited anxiously for Stripes to arrive. Yes, my husband signed for the box and I couldn’t wait to get home!
And so the moment has arrived. I brought Stripes best friend Redeye in from the bedroom to help me open the package. We open, I close my eyes dig in past the packing peanuts and pull out our best friend. Oh My Goodness! He is beautiful! bright! and colorful! He practically glows! I see his face. Yes, yes! It’s Stripes! I see the same face I’ve gazed into and loved for 50 years. And that’s when the tears start. Crying, mouth open in shock but my husband says he’s never seen me happier. ..After many long years, I can finally cuddle my friend again.
Beth you have given me back something I thought I would never have again. I love Stripes so, but I couldn’t, didn’t dare to pet him or cuddle him. I had to be so gentle, so afraid that I was doing more damage to him. But now all that is over! I can sleep with my buddy by my side. I can take him on vacations again! I’m tearing up just writing this. I can’t express my joy…absolute joy over the work you have done. Stripes looks like a beautiful and bright toy again. Thank you Beth. Thank you so very much.
…And I’ll be sending Redeye to you some time in February. I’ll be sure to email you first to start the process.
And here’s a little history about Stripes. Stripes was a Christmas present in 1969. I have always loved tigers and I was in deep love the moment I saw him. He has enjoyed play tea parties with me, and watched drive-in movies sitting in the back window. He has looked over the candy hauls that I collected during Halloween and been in a beautiful oak tree during the crisp dry autumn. (Carefully placed on a towel, but he needed to experience a tree. He is a tiger after all.) He has been with me in Japan for a year and traveled all over the US northwest looking out of a train window. And he has done all these things with Redeye by his side.
--But let’s face the facts, in the last few years my friend was disappearing before my eyes. There was good fortune that his seams were okay but the fur was coming off. His stripes were completely gone in areas. He was looking more yellow everywhere. And I dared only to pat him. That’s when I began to search for help to restore my friend and so I found Realms of Gold on the internet.
Beth has been wonderful, corresponding with emails and working out details by sending pictures back and forth. She listened to my input and was absolutely amazing at applying the stripes in the right places. We actually discussed exactly where to put them. :D I trust Beth’s skills so much that I will be sending Stripes best friend Redeye along soon. He was amazed and so happy with Stripes look, that he can’t wait to go to Realms of Gold!
Okay Beth, this may be a little serious but I wanted to express my honest feelings, and let you know why this has been so important to me.
With my 2 stuffed animals loosing hair and looking tired a sobering thought occurred to me. If something happened to me, what would happen to them? We have no children to give them to. We can’t donate them because being so worn out, no one would take them. And the thought that they might end up in a garbage bin was too much. Of course for me, my goal was to pet, play and enjoy them again. That goes without saying. But now, seeing Stripes beautiful bright colors, I am happy and secure in knowing that years from now, I can donate or will him to a children’s home where he will continue to be loved. (I have several friends who grew up in orphanages and we think it’s a wonderful idea.)
Thank you so much Beth!!!!!!
I don’t know about all of you, but that made me smile all day. :-)
#stuffed animal repair#stuffed animal hospital#stuffed animal cleaning#stuffed animals#tigers#tiger#stuffed animal tiger#toy tiger
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I wish we discussed italian daniel more!!!!!!
Oh my god you know I love Italian Daniel!!! And Italian Daniel who’s really pompous about it too. Like you meet him for the first time and within the first 5 minutes of talking to him, he’s already told you all about his Italian heritage and where in Italy his family’s originally from. And it’s just like, “Okay king thanks for that, but I didn’t need to know about your entire family tree, can we please talk about something else?”
It’s a cornerstone of his personality too. Daniel grew up bilingual because of his dad so he can speak Italian fluently, which he does with Lucille all the time when they’re together. It’s a way of remembering his father, but it also means he can talk about people (Johnny) openly without them realising. And he has a habit, when he gets angry or emotional, of slipping between English and Italian without realising it.
He also loves cooking Italian food and is really snooty about any kind of fast-food Italian. He makes his own bread and pasta from scratch, and he stocks his pantry with the most eye-wateringly expensive Italian wines, vinaigrettes, peppers, olives, you name it. This means he refuses to take the kids to Olive Garden because he thinks it’s a disgrace to Italian cuisine. He won’t even let them order pizza on the weekends. Instead he insists on making pizza himself from scratch, which admittedly tastes amazing, but sometimes Amanda and the kids just want something easy! And they can’t have it!! One night Daniel finds a pizza box in Sam’s room after she comes home from hanging out with friends and Daniel’s so offended it takes him the entire weekend to recover.
And maybe if Daniel had grown up during the High Renaissance he would have been the muse of artists and his visage would have been painted in churches and castles across Italy. But instead he grew up in New Jersey and couldn’t be coddled, he had to be tough and scrappy to survive. But with his cross necklace glimmering against his collarbone, and his thick hair and creamy skin, people’s eyes would still catch on him as he ran down the street. Especially when he moved to the Valley and felt like a misfit in the sea of blonde, blue-eyed kids. He was like something unknown, almost too wild and pretty to look at head on. He stood out everywhere he went, like a swoony boy from a painting. At least until he opened his mouth and said something ridiculous in his husky voice. And people realised, oh he’s not an angel, he just looks like one.
In his 20s, after graduating from college, Daniel also went to Italy and spent a summer there to reconnect with his roots. It’s there that he learned all about fine art and the difference between the grapes in Italian wine and how to ride an unbridled horse. And while he was there, standing out because of how American he was, like a modern soul in a renaissance angel body, he had a reckless, wild affair with an older man. It’s something he never tells anyone about when he goes back to America, but every now and then Daniel will read the man's old letters, or look at the sketches the man made of him, the nude ones where Daniel’s in the bath or sitting outside against a Tuscan sunset, and feel nostalgic. It was just a summer fling but it was the first time Daniel has ever felt truly desired by someone, and the sunlit, syrupy weeks he spent in the man’s bed and in his studio seem like something from a dream, especially now, in his 50s, when he has a wife and children. But sometimes he looks at the young Daniel LaRusso in these drawings and thinks, wow, that was really me.
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Leporina venatio
leporina venatio (latin): rabbit hunt
Summary: You’ve cleaned it. You’ve groomed it. You’ve run your fingers through it - time to get around to wear it. Tobirama’s fur collar has got to be the number one prize - except he’d never actually let you adorn it. You’ll just have to help yourself to it a little bit differently, no? I COULDN’T RESIST... In response to the lovely headcanons @cafeinthemoon! Go check them out!
Warnings: the fact I really suck at comedy? And slightly suggestive tones in the end. SFW, though, don’t worry!
~3.200k words Read on AO3!
He opened his eyes lazily. The sun was already filtering warmly through the window and with a content sigh he reached over to - Empty. Tobirama turned over to find your side of the bed vacant - cold, even. He huffed. Now he couldn’t deny being slightly miffed that you’d rather rise on your own than spend a few precious moments with him, awake, in bed - as you used to, on your off-duty days; but being the man he was, there must be a reason behind all this. Maybe you had prepared breakfast, received an urgent message… a multitude of logical reasons were plausible.
He still was annoyed. Those were your shared off days, after all. Precious and few inbetween. With a shake of his head and sigh he rose to get dressed in his dark casual attire. His scarlet gaze swept the room for any clues regarding your departure. At the very least he expected you to leave some kind of message behind for him to find - if you really did leave without any hint at all? However he came up short. Leaving the bedroom and entering the narrow hall, he found there was no smell of fresh food being cooked either, which ruled out the breakfast option. Tobirama’s heart sank a little. So much for a calm day off, then.
Quietly, as a last resort he tentatively called out - “Y/n?”
No answer. Closing his eyes momentarily he sent out a weak pulse of chakra and tuned into his sensor skills to see if you were anywhere nearby, but none of the signatures belonged to you. Opening his eyes again, he stemmed his palms to his hips and frowned deeply. Had you actually left just like that?
Suddenly, his gaze widened as a more sinister thought occurred to him.
Had something happened to you?
His frown deepened. Should he check the hospital - should he -
Then he noticed it. The door of your shared armoury - really, the small room in which you both kept your weapons, armor and other items for combat and missions was slightly agape. His eyes narrowed to tiny slits. That door was always closed. He stalked over cautiously, nudged the door open - then he saw it. All the puzzle pieces fell into place immediately.
His ultramarine battle gear, polished. Shining.
His white fur collar - missing.
“Why, you…”, he muttered, no, snarled. For a moment the world was red and hot ire burned inside of him - then he gazed through the window, huffing.
He whipped around on his heels and stalked out of the house. Already, he channeled his chakra to let his sensor skills fan out in search of you.
You wanted to hide from him, an extremely skilled sensor?
Game on.
_________
Your neck and shoulders were comfortably warm. It was spring, so the temperatures were rising indeed, but not quite there yet - though it did make you wonder how Tobirama handled this in summer. Occasionally you’d tilt your head to the side to nuzzle into the warmth of the white fur that adorned your shoulders, inhaling the scent of your husband.
With a snicker, you thought about how he’d wake up to you - and his precious floof - missing.
Honestly, this was a godly prank, or so you’d like to think. Waltzing through Konoha, wearing what obvious was Tobirama’s trademark piece of attire was bound to turn a few select heads - and it did. You even happened to meet Madara - who had regarded you with a fine smirk. He understood immediately, of course - the fact Tobirama wouldn’t part willingly with this and was somewhere else, royally pissed off.
“Does he know yet?”, the Uchiha clan leader mused darkly, a glint to his obsidian eyes.
You blinked innocently, putting a slender finger to pursed lips. “Do you hear him yelling and ripping it off me?”
He merely gave a low laugh and waved goodbye, going on his merry way.
As you did yourself. You weren’t stupid, of course. Stealing Tobirama’s fur collar was one thing. Hiding with it for a prolonged amount of time was another - by now he’d be awake, have figured everything out and probably even be using shadow clones to look for you.
His sensor skills were an extremely unfair advantage in this game.
Which was another reason you kept to the broad public - the more chakra signatures were around you, the more difficult it’d be for him to discern yours. Really, it’d just buy you a little bit more time - and dignity. Tobirama wouldn’t make a scene to recover his most prized possession in front of the entire village.
You hoped, at least.
It was just in front of a flower shop when you spotted him - his silvery hair would always stand out, just like the three red facial markings he used paint on. He was down the road, way off; however his stare might as well have been a kunai flying in your direction for how enraged it was.
You gave a cheeky grin, waved at him and entered the shop without looking back to see his face become contorted by a furious scowl.
Inside the shop were a handful of customers and the keeper of course, who you approached politely. “Hello, might I take a look around? I’m looking for a little surprise for my husband and your display had me enraptured, really.” Your tone was honey-sweet, you almost felt guilty knowing what would follow in here.
The man blinked, blushing a little. “O-oh, sure, go ahead,” waving you towards his sortiment with a bright smile.
You made a mental note to buy some flowers from this poor fellow later.
____
Tobirama couldn’t believe his own eyes.
Not only had he located you amidst the bustling streets - it was a quite busy morning - but every single aspect of the situation fuelled his fury more. Obviously - obviously - you had been mingling in an effort to make tracking you down with his sensor skills more difficult (How pathetic - he’d know your chakra’s signature between a thousand, always), but you actually also had the gall to stare him in the eye once he found you, grin at him and, by all that is holy, waltz away.
With his fur collar on.
He wasn’t a conceited man nor did he care for appearances, but frankly a part of him quite liked the idea of you wearing it (for a short time, anyway) - your scent on it, the idea of it being warm by your body’s warmth -
But this was his fur collar! And he hadn’t given you permission to saunter around with it in public like some - some - look-alike? Furiously he stalked over to the shop you had just entered, paying no attention to what was being sold there exactly. People made way for him simply for how he walked - likely his expression helped with that bit too - but he didn’t care. This game was over, now.
Inside, his scarlet gaze locks with yours immediately and his eyes narrow to tiny slits. “Y/n,” he sternly calls as though his voice was a weapon - a threat he’d make good on.
The shop’s owner turned his head, mouth slightly agape when recognition settled into his expression.
You weren’t fazed the slightest, of course. That grin of yours was as cheeky as ever and had he been slightly more prepared - had this not been about his fur collar - maybe, maybe he’d have found it funny. A little bit.
But as it was, he didn't. Not the slightest. Nope.
“Tobirama!”, you waved, “There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you before, dear, I’m glad you found me now.”
He was sure at this point his face became as red as three red streaks of paint that adorned it. The shop owner ducked behind his counter a little. “It wasn’t all that difficult, Y/n, with that outfit you’re brandishing right now, you know.” The tone of his voice was subzero, but quiet. He took a few measured steps towards you.
Your smile didn’t falter the slightest. “It’s lovely, isn’t it?” You tilted your head slightly to rub your cheek over the fluffy white fur, closing your eyes to inhale the scent again.
Tobirama took a sharp breath and his eyes widened slightly as that motion alone did something else to him. His fists balled though. “Shall we, then? We got a lot more to do today.” He extended his hand for you to take, taking another measured step towards you. If you weren’t going to take his hand, he’d simply take your arm or make body contact somehow else to use his hiraishin seal and end this prank.
Unfortunately - of course - you were too smart for that. Your loving ministrations to the floof ceased immediately as an attentive eye caught his hand nearing you; your lips formed a wicked smile. “Sure - go ahead, Tobi. I’ll be right along, I promised Mito to stop by and - oh, I needed to buy something else, too.”
Tobirama nostrils flared and his gaze narrowed to tiny slits. Momentarily his jaws clenched so hard it hurt, but he raised his chin as he identified this for what this was. Defiance. And the proverbial gauntlet being thrown down again. “Then let’s go together, shall we?” He raised his hand to casually lay it on your shoulder as he stood by your side - as wife and husband would -
But you pranced to the side nimbly and towards the door before he could do so much as lay a finger on you or get within arm’s reach. “Wonderful! This will be fun. I’ll be back later, mister, your flowers are delightful!”, waving the shop owner goodbye, you already were out of the shop.
Tobirama’s hand dropped to his side, his hands balled into fists again. Darkly he stared after you. So this is how we’re going to do this. Not sparing the shop owner a second glance he was out before you could slip out of his sight again.
________
With no small amount of satisfaction you were sauntering down the main street of Konoha again, ignoring the ominous presence that was following you. The look on Tobirama’s face had been priceless. Unfortunately you had a problem now: he literally only needed to graze your skin now to whisk you away to your shared home.
Then the un-fun part of this prank would begin. You’d have to find a way to pacify him before that because right now, you knew he was royally pissed only.
Still. It was fun to watch, once in a while. And you really loved this lovely floof.
His low timbre reached your ears again, nearer than you expected. Already, you sped up your playful gait, throwing a glance over your shoulder. “Enjoying yourself?” He inquired darkly.
If looks could kill, you might drop dead now. There were honest shadows cast over his face from how enraged he was. But - and this was most important - he was far enough away still. You smiled cheekily again. “Quite a lot.”
His voice became chilly again. “You realise this is no match for my hiraishin?”
You giggled. “Yeah, I’d be in real trouble if you ever used it.” To accentuate your statement, you picked up your pace a little bit more. By now you were quite close to running.
Tobirama gave a low growl in response and answered by picking up his speed, too. The way the two of you walked must look comical by now. Not like you cared - and Tobirama seemed fixated on his goal now.
Truth be told, you needed a plan. Another shop would just strain his patience more - and that trick was old. Reaching a familiar destination - like Hashirama’s house - was dangerous. Tobirama might unleash his fury there or simply grab you and really haul you away. Briefly you considered seeking out Madara - but the fun would stop right there, or the probability of an actual incident was too high.
That left you with one option.
Within the blink of an eye, you bolted into a sidealley.
_______
Tobirama skidded to a halt for just a moment as you ran - right down into the narrow alley to your right. Snarling, he began the pursuit - gloves off now. If you actually thought you could outpace the fastest shinobi alive, you had another thing coming.
Though you weren’t exactly holding back either - nor were you a sluggish person. Your footwork had always been nimble and in the small streets it was possible to zigzag past narrow corners, under clothes lines and down even more narrow alleys that barely deserved the name.
He had to be careful. This was not some panicked move, this had been a calculated decision of yours. Quite possibly you had more planned. His best option remained to stay as close as he could - no, get close enough to touch you and teleport home.
His increasing fury didn’t help maintain focus, though. All he did see was his white fur collar trail in front of him and away, alongside the endlessly amused laughter of his wife.
Were he not so frustrated, he might find the challenge entertaining. Enjoyable. Perhaps he did, right now.
Nonsense, this was ridiculous! He had better things to do than running after you like some schoolboy!
Just as you turned around yet another corner he lunged forward for you to narrowly miss his grabbing hand - so narrow he could still feel the air draft of your movement as you had to dance to the side in order to avoid capture.
“Ahaha!”, you giggled, “It seems you got to be faster, dear husband!” - and with a literal twirl you were on your merry way again.
That did it.
_______
After your very narrow escape, you had turned yet another corner - quite frankly you were surprised Tobirama hadn’t shouted anything back. There are no people in these alleys; and by now you expected him to be frothing by the mouth or something. Instead he actually lost a few meters on you - hah.
Then you frowned.
That was quaint, actually. Had he stopped for some reason? You spurred yourself to greater speeds but nonetheless you couldn’t deny the tiny shiver down your spine. Your husband was an extremely intelligent man and the fact he had hatched some plan that had required him to stand still even for just a second - that didn’t sit well with you.
You had to change your tactic, again.
But quite frankly you were running out of options at this point. A disguise was out of question due to his sensor capabilities - back on the main road, maybe?
You took another quick turn-
Only to be slammed into the ground by a tall, silver-haired man. With a yelp, you rolled forward to ease the incoming fall as you lost all balance due to your speed, but your assailant was quick as well - before you could gain your footing again, he used the weight of his body to tackle you. You managed to roll on your back to identify the attacker as - who else could it be - Tobirama.
“How?!”, you breathed, incredulously, but already, you raised your legs to kick out viciously to shake him off; though he was faster.
With a low huff he seized your wrists simply and dragged you up with him - damn it all. This was as good as over now. After a short scuffle he had wrestled your arms behind your back and turned you around to face down the alley, where the answer was coming from.
Another Tobirama was striding down towards you. He clapped his hands, once twice, lazily. The smirk in his voice was unmistakable. “Well done. Shall we go home, dear?”
You struggled still against the shadow clone that held your arms wrenched behind your back, scrunching your nose and huffing. “That was low, Tobi. I thought we were having a fair chase here,” you moped.
He finally stood in before you, arms crossed in front of his chest. His eyebrows rose lazily. “I was chasing you. Apologies for not reading the rules, you didn’t leave any behind.” He sounded entirely unimpressed now, but there was a certain glint in his scarlet gaze as he stared his quarry - you - down. You were unsure if it was fury or plain annoyance.
Your lips formed a pout. “At least make your clone disappear now. You won.”
He didn’t move an inch. In fact, his clone reinforced his grip, earning him indignant “Hey!” from you. Tobirama only blinked, gaze never leaving you. “Do you think I’m stupid? You’re going to bolt the moment I release you.”
You click your tongue in feigned hurt. “Ouch? Please, have some faith, husband. I lost a fair chase, I’m a good sport.”
“You just called it unfair, my dear.” He cocked an eyebrow, unimpressed.
You just stared at him for another moment after he had called your rather obvious bluff. Finally, you bit your lower lip and attempted a little bit of a smirk again. “Come on, Tobi. You did enjoy yourself a little.” He still didn’t move an inch. His intense gaze simply kept mustering you, only narrowing ever so slightly. “We’re going home now.”
Instantly reality twisted and a familiar lurch later you were in your bedroom, Tobirama right in front of you. The clone was gone - he must’ve released it the moment it had teleported you. In a swift motion he backed you up closer to the nearest wall, closer and closer - until you felt your back make contact with the wall. Defiantly, you crossed your arms in front of your chest.
“Well, go ahead then. Take the floof back.” At the very least, you were surprised he hadn’t been shouting or something. Remembering his face when he initially had spotted you, you’d been rather sure you were in for something.
Right now? Right now the scarlet gaze of his was near liquid, ablaze but narrow nonetheless. His jaw was working and slowly, he put a hand to the wall next to your head. “Hm,” he gave a low hum that rolled right off his tongue.
You raised an eyebrow. Was he going to prank you now? “If you’re waiting for me to give it back, no can do. I’m rather attached to this. Literally.” You smirked again, confidently, turning your head slightly to nuzzle the soft fur again for a moment.
From the corner of your eye you saw his throat move as he swallowed heavily, his eyes widening slightly. He was staring you down like a hawk now. Silence stretched for a few moments before - “Maybe I quite enjoy the sights right now, actually.” His baritone voice had taken on a sultry tone now and his free hand moved up to first ruffle through his fur, then trail up your neck and cup your cheek tenderly.
Your eyebrows climbed up. So that was what that look had been about. You leaned into his touch a little and couldn’t help but smile gently, looking up at him. Right then you wanted to lose yourself in that intense gaze of his. “Then ... I’ll wear it a bit longer?” you murmured headily, quietly.
He took another small step closer until his body almost touched yours, his fresh breath hitting your face as he seemed to ponder the notion for a moment. The hand next to your face slipped down to linger between the soft fur and your neck alike, his thumb stroking your skin gently. For a moment all he did was caressing you, pinning you with gaze; no marvelling you.
“A tiny bit…”, he finally murmured, then a fine smirk formed - and his voice turned stern. “But you’re not going to leave this house. With my collar on. Ever again.”
You rolled your eyes.
This was still Tobirama, after all.
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Hi!! Could I perhaps request LQR baby-sitting A-Yu and A-Lan for the renouncement verse? Thanks, love you <333
(brief author’s note: please please reblog if you can, since that’s how we get prompts for future chapters!)
Lan Qiren’s nephews keep overworking themselves.
This wouldn’t be a bad thing if they hadn’t been doing it for the last several years, but it’s beginning to wear on them. Xichen’s eyes are always red and swollen from writing letters by candlelight, and Lan Qiren doesn’t remember the last time he saw Wangji without trade reports in his arms and spit-up milk on his robes, so he finally puts his foot down and decides to give all three of them a break in early autumn.
“Xichen, go take a soak in the hot springs,” he orders, sweeping into the hanshi and shoving everything on Lan Xichen’s desk up one of his sleeves. “Now.”
Lan Xichen is so exhausted that he tries to paint a line of calligraphy onto the expensive wood of his writing table. “Shufu?”
“You heard me,” Lan Qiren scolds. “Go on! I’ll finish the petition forms by tomorrow.”
Somewhat bewildered, Lan Xichen ambles out through the hanshi’s back door and splashes into the hot spring, leaving Lan Qiren to march down to the jingshi and confiscate all of Wangji’s trade contracts. He also confiscates baby A-Lan, who is lying in Lan Wangji’s lap and trying to eat his jade pendant.
“What are you doing?” Wangji asks, watching him tug the rest of his letters out of Wei Ying’s hands and stuff those up his sleeves, too. “Uncle?”
“You and Wei Ying need a rest,” he announces. “I am taking your work to the meishi, and I am also taking your children. Do not come to fetch them until sunset.”
And with that, he straps Wei Shuilan to his chest and takes Lan Yu by the hand, bundling them off to his own residence before their parents have time to do much more than blink at him in confusion.
“Huh,” Wei Wuxian says, after he leaves. “I think your uncle has a point, actually. Let’s go to bed, Lan Zhan.”
__
When Lan Qiren gets back to the meishi, he settles A-Lan down for a nap and gives Xiao-Yu a snack and some silver puzzle rings to improve his hand-eye coordination. “It almost reminds me of the old days,” he sighs, as Shuilan kicks her chubby little feet before falling asleep with her thumb in her mouth. “Even if Wangji never went down for naps without a fuss.”
Lan Qiren was nineteen when he became acting sect leader, and he was also nineteen when he received custody of Xichen: not coincidentally, because the clan hoped that taking charge of the sect would prevent him from raising his nephew and allow one of them to take over his care instead. But Lan Qiren was nothing if not stubborn, so Lan Huan went with him everywhere—to meetings, discussion conferences, and even the odd wedding now and then, and was generally such an amiable baby that he adjusted to his uncle’s fraught travelling schedule without a fuss. In fact, the first time Lan Huan met Jiang Yanli had been during a week-long cultivation event at Lotus Pier, yawning in a sling on Lan Qiren’s back while Jiang Yanli napped on Jiang Fengmian’s chest, and Jiang Fengmian had even mentioned the possibility of a betrothal between the two babies when they were older.
“My wife wants to contract an engagement between Xiao-Li and a son born to her sworn sister, but Jin-zongzhu and Jin-furen have not yet had a child,” Jiang-zongzhu had sighed, letting his daughter’s little fingers wrap around his. He looked heartbroken at the mere thought of parting from her, Lan Qiren remembers—which was probably why he named her yan li, to hate separation, because Jiang Yanli’s premature birth nearly stole her away from her parents the moment she entered the world.
“Lanling is closer to Gusu than Yunmeng,” Lan Qiren pointed out. Yunmeng Jiang would make an excellent alliance by marriage, and he was fairly certain at the time that Jiang Yanli would grow up to resemble her mild-mannered father rather than her hot-tempered mother. He was right, of course, since Jiang-guniang took after Jiang Fengmian in both looks and character, but contracting a betrothal with her for Xichen would have done both of them a disservice—because Xichen could never have loved her as she would have wanted to be loved, and he could never have given her children, either.
“Shugong?” a little voice says at Lan Qiren’s elbow, distracting him from the possibility of a world where Lan Huan married Jiang Yanli and crippled Lanling Jin’s influence after the Sunshot Campaign. “Xiao-Yu is done with the puzzle. I have another one?”
“Already?” Lan Qiren asks. This is yet another trait Xiaohui inherited from Wei Wuxian despite not being related to him, and Lan Qiren feels his heart swell with pride at his great-nephew’s intelligence. “Then you may play with the wooden blocks on that shelf, and see how high you can build your tower without letting it fall over.”
Xiao-Yu settles down on the hearthrug to stack up the fine-carved building blocks, and Lan Qiren goes through his nephew’s papers in peace for another hour before A-Lan wakes up from her nap and wails for her milk at the top of her lungs.
“Do not cry,” Lan Qiren soothes, securing the child in her swaddle before heating a bottle with a warming talisman. “Here is your supper, and your xiongzhang is there on the mat.”
He has to keep A-Lan in his arms after that, since his tiny great-niece is so used to being held that putting her down would break her little heart; and Lan Qiren would rather die than let go of her, because he dearly misses holding his nephews, and not so long ago he was certain he would never have the chance to hold a baby again.
And then, as if cuddling A-Lan to his chest wasn’t wonderful enough, Xiao-Yu pulls one of Wangji’s old picture books out of Lan Qiren’s storage trunk and runs over to sit in his lap, pushing the trade contracts aside and replacing them with the fable of the magic lotus lantern.
“Shugong, read to Xiao-Yu?” the little boy begs, snuggling into Lan Qiren’s overgown next to his cooing baby sister. “A-Die likes this story best.”
Of course he does, Lan Qiren thinks, as he flips the cover open and starts to read. The tale of the magic lotus lantern was written about a child whose mother was stolen away from him, taken back to the heavens by force when her godly brother discovered the magic lantern that illuminated her way to the mortal world—and for a while Wangji believed that his mother was like the immortal Sanshengmu, who loved a human man and had a child with him before returning to the realm she came from. Sanshengmu’s story ended with her being reunited with her husband and son, and the little Wangji never gave up hope that his own mother might come back in much the same way, even after he was old enough to stop believing in fairy stories.
“Why did they fight?” Xiao-Yu asks, leaning closer to see the picture of the goddess’s lover with his brush and scroll. “That’s against the rules!”
“Sometimes people who love one another fight because they cannot understand their feelings,” Lan Qiren tells him, tapping the point of his soft button nose. “So it was with Sanshengmu and Liu Yanchang-gongzi, and when he awoke, she revealed her true identity, and explained why she sent a rainstorm to plague him after she read his poem.
“Both apologized profusely. Days went by, and Liu Yanchang finally recovered. By then the goddess and the scholar had fallen deeply in love, and marriage naturally ensued. Encouraged by Goddess Sanshengmu, Liu Yanchang continued with his journey to the capital to take the imperial examination, and months later, the goddess gave birth to their son, whom she named Chenxiang.
“At the same time, the goddess’s celestial family had learned about her marriage to an earthly man. Her brother, known as Divine Erlang, found his unruly sister and demanded that she renounce her new family and return with him to their heavenly home, but Sanshengmu refused, and battled him with the power of her magical lotus lantern…”
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“I want to paint a portrait of this,” Wei Wuxian whispers, when he and Lan Zhan creep into the meishi after sunset to find Lan Qiren fast asleep on the floor, with A-Lan snoozing on his chest and Xiao-Yu curled up in the crook of his arm. “They’re so sweet, Lan Zhan!”
“Mm,” Lan Zhan murmurs, his eyes softening as he looks at the open book on his uncle’s desk. Lan Qiren clearly just finished reading it before he fell asleep, because the book is open to the very last picture; a color painting of a goddess embracing a youth and an older man with a lotus-shaped lantern hanging at the crook of her elbow. “Bring a blanket and a pillow, Wei Ying. We should let them sleep.”
(Lan Qiren often finds himself toting his little great-nephew and niece around the Cloud Recesses after that, and Xiao-Yu’s favorite place to play in his parents’ absence is always the house where his shugong lives.)
#wangxian#mo dao zu shi#my fic#wangxian arranged marriage au#renouncement verse#lan qiren#lan xiaohui#wei shuilan
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Home: Chapter eight
azriel x reader (acotar)
summary: (y/n) is a daughter of Persephone, still recovering from the trauma of her fall into Tartarus and doesn’t have time for a stupid, handsome, annoying, stunning, injured man. But now they’re stuck together in the middle of nowhere and there only chance of getting home is if she can heal him, and fast.
warnings: big spoilers for mark of Athena and house of Hades, also for the acotar series, eventual smut, blood, PTSD, graphic descriptions of violence, injuries and torture, enemies to lovers so az is a bit of a dick to start, swearing
word count: 1.6k
a/n: ahhh this is the last part and I’m kinda sad but at the same time I don’t want to drag it out, I also have a new idea for a dorian x reader so it’s a good thing to finsih one but am still sad. I hope you enjoy I made it extra fluffy (also had a cheeky wee hint back to the first part)
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You were sat in front of a large mirror, taking in your appearance as you listened to the noise downstairs, the hustle and sounds of people speaking as they rushed about in preparation a sharp contrast to the silence of your and Azriel’s shared room. The girl looking back at you in the mirror was beautiful. Her hair was pinned up, revealing a long neck adorned with a simple necklace your lover had gifted you. Your skin was clear as well, any blemishes you had, any scarring from acne you had picked at, was gone, replaced by dewy, glowing skin. In fact everything about you seemed to glow, your hair was shinier, your skin had a new ethereal sense about it, and you looked more like your mother than you ever had before.
You heard a clatter of plates downstairs and bit your lip with a slight smile, running your hands over you dress. It was baby pink, as you had commented that white may be a little on the nose, with a deep V-neck and white and pink flowers trailing down the heavy skirt, you had picked it out with the help of Feyre and Mor who had dragged you out shopping, giggling when you had stared in shock at the sheer number of dresses you only believed existed on Pinterest. You reached over the vanity and picked up the delicate gold dangling earrings that you had ‘bought’ (Azriel had technically bought them but you certainly paid him back) and put them on, gazing wistfully at your now pointed ears.
So much had changed so quickly. Azriel’s family were extremely welcoming, instantly treating you like they had known you forever. You became incredibly close with Cassian and Nesta, much to Azriel’s amusement, as you bonded over books with Nesta and a general love of Azriel with Cassian. Nesta was officially sold on you when she finished ‘Call Me by Your Name’ the day you gave it to her, the two of you discussing it all night as you made promises to find a way to show her the movie. Rhysand and Mor treated you like a sister, the three of you soon teasing each other, Amren genuinely laughing when you let loose your more creative insults. The only one who seemed reserved at first was Elain, but soon the two of you were spending hours in the garden as you taught her about the different needs that different plants had and how to grow them most effectively.
Azriel had never been more in love. He already knew you were mates but now that it was official, and possible, he felt like he was on cloud nine. He was in love with how quickly you feel asleep in his arms. The way you lit up when talking about your passions, hands moving widely. He was in love with the way your eyes sparkled constantly now, only rarely being overcome with shadows, ones that he had learned to help dispel, you were laughing more and had even started showing your back again. When you went to the House of Wind to train with Cassian and Azriel one summer afternoon you had removed your top, leaving you in a simple sports bra, not missing the mix of pride and desire in Azriel’s eyes as you continued your exercises.
“Can I ask what happened?” Nesta had asked late that day, Feyre looking up from her book, Nyx cradled in one arm. You had explained, and after, when you expected to be pushed away, Feyre had simply passed Nyx to Nesta and wrapped her arms around you, holding you for a long while, even when the Illyrians entered the room. When she pulled away you noticed the tears in her eyes and offered her a small smile, as she whispered to you.
“You’re with your family now, nothing like that will ever happen again.” And then you were crying too.
Now you were sat in your low-back dress with your hair up, scars on display for anyone to see. You had been woken at nine am by an excited chorus of fae women and all but shoved into a bath, your hair washed, and skin scrubbed until you felt new-born. You had been brought a strong, dark coffee and some honeyed toast as you sat soaking in the bath, your friends moving about outside tidying your room and fishing out everything you needed, before you were pulled from the bath and forced to dry. When you had walked back into the room, you found Mor wiggling her eyebrows as she passed you a bag which, on further inspection, you found contained an intricate set of baby blue lingerie making you laugh loudly as you thumbed the material. They had then crowded you, Nesta drying and styling your hair as Feyre did your face, treating it alike one of her beautiful paintings, Elain painting and filing your nails as Amren and Mor sat sipping on champagne, both donned in beautiful, dark silk dresses, as they discussed the day ahead. You felt alike a princess when they were done and had commented as much, gaining you a glass of champagne and a comment on how you looked like one too. However they soon left, claiming there was much to sort out downstairs and that they had no faith in the boys to get it sorted.
Now you were sat alone, your gaze had moved to outside your window where light snow had started falling. You stood and moved the open window, perching on the ledge, smiling when a robin landed next to you, flying to rest in your palm, it’s ruby coloured breast not making you flinch. You still had nightmares as you were still part god and probably always would have the dreams you had grown used to; however you were making progress.
“If you’re planning on running away that ledge is too high,” You smiled as you heard his voice, turning to see your beautiful mate smiling at you.
“Maybe Cassian can come and fly me out,” you challenged,
“Ha, ha.” He deadpanned and you giggled, standing to wrap yourself in his arms,
“In my world it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the service,” you whispered into his chest,
“This technically isn’t a wedding,”
“That’s a fair point,” you muttered, and he smiled down at you,
“It would be a shame to deprive me of this sight, you look beautiful princess,” he spun you out of his arms and you giggled, making his heart swell with love.
“It would, wouldn’t it?”
“C’mon, we should go soon, Cassian’s already crying,” you laughed and grabbed his hand as he pulled you along and down the stairs. You gasped when you reached the bottom, there were flowers everywhere, the whole room transformed into a fairy wonderland that made you feel giddy. You smiled when you saw that Cassian was in fact, already tearing up as he stood to greet you, complementing you and thanking you for making his brother so happy, you had laughed and shoved him away in your emotional state, not wanting to cry so early, as you moved to the sink in the room that was spraying a fine mist of water, creating a rainbow.
“Oh Iris, Goddess of the Rainbow, show me Nico Di Angelo, Camp half blood.” You threw in a golden drachma, the image wavered before revealing your friends and family on the other side, waving, and sending greetings. The inner circle came over and you all conversed for a while before Azriel was rather impatiently tugging on your hand and you moved onto the ceremony, with just your found families present. Having been raised mortal you insisted on exchanging rings, and Azriel was completely happy to oblige, obsessed with the feeling of pushing the ring onto your finger and kissing you, having someone that was wholly his, and who he was completely devoted to.
The rest of the day was spent curled under Azriel’s arm, sipping cocktails, and laughing as you were told all the most embarrassing things the inner circle could dig up. You ate delicious food and laughed with your friends, you heart aching at how naturally this happiness came to you now as you gazed at the man you loved.
You stood outside, breathing in the fresh air, and enjoying the slight chill that came through the thin shawl you had wrapped around you shoulders. Soon you felt a familiar hand press into your hip, pulling you into his side tightly. You looked up at him, still in wonder of how you landed such a beautiful man.
He caught your gaze, brushing a snowflake of your cheek and grabbing your hand, pressing a light kiss into the palm. “Penny for your thoughts?” He asked, gaze so full of love that tears welled up in your eyes.
“I’m just so glad you got stabbed,” you muttered, and he laughed before you continued, “I’m serious, I don’t know where I’d be if we hadn’t met, but you are everything to me and I’m so glad we pushed through, I’m so glad we fought to be together.”
“I love you.” He whispered into your hair as he pulled you in tightly, his scarred hands moving over your scarred back as you sighed, content.
“I love you.” You replied, pulling away and watching as a red admiral butterfly landed on a nearby poppy.
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