#I love my boy and his dead welsh king

[changenamelater]

I need people to stop portraying gansey as totally socially inept in fic. I’m tempted to close the tab every time I stumble upon it

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I can understand someone not liking Gansey that much but I Can Not imagine calling him boring. Sir that’s President Freak of Clowntown right there…

[crimeronan]

alright. WHAT is a Raven Cycle. What is this story about. All this time seeing you pointed about these people, but it took me ages to figure out what the "trc" tag even stood for -- that poll you just reblogged in fact. I'm ready. Give me the pitch.

HI.

the raven cycle is a series of four books by maggie stiefvater: the raven boys, the dream thieves, blue lily lily blue, and the raven king. there is a follow-up trilogy called the dreamer trilogy made up of three books: call down the hawk, mister impossible, and greywaren.

(my 'cdth' tag is my tag for the sequel series, which i like even more than trc.)

it's a YA modern fantasy series set in a small town in rural virginia. the series focuses on a gang of five teenagers (a sixth joining in book 3/4) who are all dealing with various magic bullshit in their lives. one is looking for a dead welsh king along a ley line in the mountains of virginia, because legend says that the king can be woken and grant a wish.

the problem is that this boy, gansey, is going to die.

we know this because the one girl in the group (sorry women. there are more women in cdth i SWEAR), blue, saw his ghost on st mark's eve. which means he will die within the next year. why did she see his ghost?? because he's either her true love, or she killed him.

or, you know. both. if you're a girl who's cursed to kill your true love with a kiss. as she is.

blue does not want to kill anyone. blue also does not want gansey to be her true love. they get off on the wrong foot entirely and she decides he's the devil for a little while. blue is overall having a bad time with the world and her place in it and the fact that she's the only non-psychic person in a family of psychics, And Also She Doesn't Want To Kill Anyone.

so the question is -- for all four books -- what..... would make her kill gansey. how is gansey going to die.

gansey's three other closest friends are boys in varying states of emotional turmoil.

ronan, who is where my URL comes from, is a suicidal bipolar maniac alcoholic who spends all of his time trying to kill himself. and is also magic as fuck. and hiding it. and going out street racing with a guy who wants to eat him. and they're kind of fucking about it. they technically never fuck except like. they're kind of fucking about it

adam is a trailer trash kid paying his own way into the elite boarding school that gansey & ronan attend. his dad is physically abusive to the point of adam's life being in constant danger, but adam refuses to accept gansey's offers of help or safety, because he's determined that nobody else ever Own him.

noah is a quiet kid with a violent past that gansey cares about very deeply, getting into all of his backstory involves major book one spoilers but it is. Rough.

the plot points in the series are complicated to explain because there's a lot of mythology and strange worldbuilding and psychic bullshit and magic all going on and playing off each other. but the series is about these five kids being in a giant pseudo-polyamorous relationship and loving each other and hating each other and wanting each other and killing each other.

it has some of my favorite relationship arcs of all time in any media, ever, and also it like. taught me how to write. LOL. so if you're here from the owl house (??) or from a different fandom and you like how i talk about characters and how i write character conflicts and character arcs and character relationships....... U Get All Of That Shit In The Raven Cycle.

and that's it!

[quail-in-red]

Hiya quail! For the letter ask game how about R or U! :)

Winnnoooowww hii! 💖

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Harry and Ron 5ever! His first real and bestest friend 😭

Also my husband got me watching Doctor Who this year and I can see why everyone is nuts for Donna & 10, the friend chemistry is off the charts!!

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

In no particular order:

Richard Gansey III (The Raven Cycle) - this 17 year old boy is friends with an elderly pigeon fancier and obsessed with a 14th century Welsh king?? Love him

Draco Malfoy (HP) - what a weenie (affectionate)

Anya Forger (Spy x Family) - her child logic kills me dead, she makes the best faces, and she is hands down the best Spy x Family character

Alphabet ask game!

[georgieluz]

Juleeees, how are you? I'll go with 4, 10, 11, 21 and 28 for the "not from the US" ask set

jess! hello!! i'm not too bad, thanks! just got back from braving the rain to buy christmas jumpers (it's christmas jumper weekend at work on friday so had to go searching), how about you?

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

probably glamorgan sausage, which isn't made of actual sausage. it's made of cheese, but it's a vegetarian alternative to normal sausage. but yeah, usually made with cheese and leek.

i do also love a slice of bara brith, but specifically the one served in the restaurant at my workplace!

if we wanna be really basic then welshcakes are always a good shout and i have one every friday with a cup of tea in work!

crempogs are soo very good also!!

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

ooh okay so i don't know if it would necessarily be the most enjoyable but it's the one my friends and i used most whilst growing up and that's "cachau bant" which is a way of saying "fuck off" but if you translate it literally it's "shit away".. and then i can't not include "cont" which i imagine you can guess the translation of (we use it affectionately here though, so it's more like "alright, cont?" or "shwmae cont" when you greet your friend)

11. favourite native writer/poet?

okay, it's probably very predictable to choose dylan thomas but i do love his poems and his poetry is loved for good reason! he didn't write in cymraeg, only saesneg, but he's welsh and wrote about wales and life here, and i think the fact that he wrote in english and not welsh speaks a lot about the journey our language unfortunately went on

also r.s thomas' poems about wales are always interesting to study, in particular welsh history, which has the ending lines:

when we have finished quarrelling for crumbs under the table, or gnawing the bones of a dead culture, we will arise and greet each other in a new dawn

his other poems a welsh testament, welsh landscape, the village and sorry are all really interesting as well!

niall griffiths is a great welsh author too. his books set in aberystwyth are really really good!

oh and richard king!! both his books about music and his oral histories of wales book are 11/10!!

menna gallie's work is awesome as well, i loved 'the small mine' which explores how a fictional welsh village comes together after a mining tragedy. it focuses a lot on how women in the community deal with the loss. her other books are great too and she has a really witty writing style that i enjoy a lot

a few others: owen sheers, gillian clarke and sarah waters!

not quite relevant, but still worth a mention, is the story of the soldier-poet known as hedd wyn and the eisteddfodd of 1917!

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

ohhhh this is really hard.. does it have to be an object or can it be like just a welsh tradition or?? oH WAIT I KNOW i'd send mari lwyd up there!!! to maybe freak out all the aliens. it's one of my favourite welsh customs and traditions for christmas! this is what it looks like:

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

oh boy! it does indeed... if you wanna know how many mountains wales has, it's better to just look at this topography map

there aren't any genuinely flat areas of wales. my high school was near the top of a mountain, and my house growing up was halfway up the same one. we hated having to walk up it every morning, and yet, we still went down to the village on our lunch hour. maybe that's why we were all fucking tiny bc we trekked up a mountain twice a day.

here's one of our rivers, which we similarly have a fuck ton of

so yeah. a shit ton of rivers and a shit ton of mountains. my favourite mountains are the brecon beacons bc we used to go there so much when i was growing up. it's like a tradition for welsh people to climb there and hike there as soon as the weather gets milder!

oh wow, sorry this was SOOOO long but it was fun to talk about these things so thank you for asking!!

for this ask game!

[distance-does-not-matter]

hi. my mom bought me the first two books of the Dreamer Trilogy at Goodwill a couple weeks ago. I understand that these are adjacent/related to The Raven Cycle?? presumably based on what I've read of the first one a follow up to that series? anyway explain to me why I've read all of like two lines about this Gansey guy and yet might be mildly in love with him

GANSEY SWEEP!!!!!!! HUGE WIN FOR GANSEY ENJOYERS EVERYWHERE

he has the world’s biggest vocabulary. he’s a rich boy with too much money. he wears stupid boat shoes and polo shirts. he’s in love with his friends and would do anything for them. he has foot-in-mouth disease. he wears glasses only when he’s at home—contacts out in public. he’s obsessed with his orange car. he’s just. I’m taking him in my teeth and shaking him I love him so much. he’s obsessed with a dead Welsh king and magic. he’s insane. he’s perfectly normal. he needs to stop talking. I’d listen to him forever. he’s perfect

you get it <333

also if u enjoy him it might be worth checking out the raven cycle for him

[transmasc-wizard]

hi um can you recommend some good books for me to read?

I really wanna read smth but not sure what

yeah sure! be warned idk what you like to read so i'm just gonna rec things i personally enjoy lol

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett: a demon and an angel team up to raise the antichrist so he'll be neutral and the world won't end. However, the week of Armageddon, they realize they raised the wrong kid, and now it's a race against time to find the real antichrist before it's too late. (Urban fantasy)

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio: in their last year of a prestigious school, a friend group fractures and changes when they all silently watch one of their own die--without trying to save him. They must keep their secret if they don't want to face serious consequences, but the longer they hide, the more other secrets they reveal. (Thriller, dark academia)

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins: ok you probably know what this one is about. but if not. 24 kids are thrown into an arena to kill each other for the entertainment of the rich and powerful Capitol citizens each year, and when Katniss Everdeen takes her younger sister's place, she must constantly fight to survive. (Dystopian)

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo: six criminals work together to attempt the heist of a lifetime; kidnapping the creator of jurda parem, a drug that changes the powers of Grisha (witches), from the high-security Ice Court. (Epic fantasy, heist)

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater: Blue Sargent is cursed to kill her true love. When her psychic aunt sees her true love's future ghost, Blue is shortly thereafter pulled by said true love and his friends into a plan to find the body of a dead Welsh King, wake him up, and make him grant them a wish. it is absolutely absurd and it is my favourite book series ever (TRB is the 1st book). (Urban Fantasy)

Sal and Gabi Break the Universe by Carlos Hernandez: Sal Vidon has the power to pull things from one universe and into another. When he starts experimenting with just how far his powers can go only to accidentally begin tearing apart the universe itself, he'll need the help of Gabi Real to put things back together. Hijinks ensue. (Urban fantasy/sci fi)

Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee: Noah runs a blog that showcases trans people's romances, to prove they can get happy endings too--but when it's leaked that he made them all up, he has to quickly concoct a plan to set his own fake romance in motion to prove trans happiness in relationships is possible. Hijinks ensue, again. (romcom)

i also yell about books a lot on @nico-reads so i'm sure you could find more recs scrolling through there

[boggywitchin]

What You Can Find At A Dig: Chapter 12

---

Armel had to dig deep to find the courage to continue, “My third flaw is I’m absolutely terrified of people leaving me. Sometimes it feels like everyone I love could disappear at any moment and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” He gave a derisive snort, “I also have hard time trusting people for some reason. To trust that they like me for me or.. or that they won’t betray me in some way. I- sorry, this is stupid.” Armel began to shake his head, but Merlin was off his stool and at his side in an instant, a hand pressed against his cheek.

His gaze was unwavering, “It’s not stupid, Arthur. After everything you went through, after everything that happened. Gods, none of it, none of it, was your fault. It was mine, and I’m so so sorry.”

Merlin’s presence was overwhelming; a sudden intensity charged every word, movement, and look. Even the hand pressed against his cheek conveyed a sense of urgency.

Armel wet his lips searching Merlin’s face for an answer, “Who’s Arthur?” 

It was absolutely the wrong thing to say. Armel watched helplessly as Merlin retreated into himself, his eyes becoming unfocused as his hand fell away, looking like he would collapse any second.

“Hey, stay with me Merlin.” One hand caught him around the waist and the other pressed Merlin’s hand back to his cheek. “It’s okay, you’re okay. Look at me Merlin.” When Merlin wouldn’t look at him, Armel tried again but with more authority, “Merlin, look at me.”

Merlin’s eyes were still glazed over and his pupils blown wide, but at least he was looking at him.

He pressed their foreheads together continuing to talk Merlin through whatever memory gripped him. Armel burned with curiosity to know how this Arthur could inspire such love and such agony at the same time. What had happened to Merlin that he could privately smile when he thought of him, but then have a panic attack at the mere utterance of his name? ---

What you can find at a dig (41170 words) by Boggywitchin Chapters: 12/20 Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Armel Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Several other OC, Emrys (Merlin), Armel Griffiths Additional Tags: Archaeology, Camelot, University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Merlin Waiting for Arthur Pendragon's Return (Merlin), Sad boy Merlin, Angst, Gay Sex, Crazy Emrys, college students, Parties, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, dead mom, Slow Burn, soul mates, Wales, Magic, PTSD, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Arthur 'I can fix him' Pendragon, Armel 'I can fix him' Griffiths, OC death, everyone is bi, Marijuana Use Summary: Crazy Old Man Emrys has wandered the Welsh country side for 1500 years hoping that one day Arthur would return to him. When a university archaeology team shows up on Emrys's patch, they have amongst them a young man named Armel Griffiths, who just so happens to look exactly like the Once and Future King. When Emrys learns their site is next to the ruins of Camelot, he joins the team as Merlin in hopes to influence what they find at the dig. But as friendship between Merlin and Armel grows, he has to choose whether he can put a millennia of devotion aside and let himself truly love another or if the risk of heart break is too much.

[tell-me-your-vision]

This is one my favorite things about Gansey because it clearly depicts Gansey's clear rich white boy privilege, right? Like. All the authority figures in his life act like it's charming and endearing or just quirky because he has that privilege.

But I love it because having that rich white boy privilege is such a significant part of Gansey's character, but that's what Gansey uses that privilege for- finding a magical dead welsh king.

Something so funny about the Raven Cycle is Gansey’s unwillingness to hide the fact that he’s looking for a magical dead welsh king. Brother does not hesitate to tell anyone and everyone who will listen, and everyone just accepts it. Like yeah that’s Gansey, he’s looking for a dead welsh king to grant a wish, what a strange fellow :)

[mayihavethisdanse]

“What is this, the Dark Ages?”

Or, Arthurian themes and allusions in the Brotherhood of Steel mythos as seen in Fallout 4. (But that’s a lot of words.)

Yep. We're doing this. 

First, some obligatory caveats: there is no single Arthurian canon, just 1500 years of assorted fanfic based on the whims of whoever was writing at the time. For this extremely highbrow Tumblr meta, I have ignored most of it and drawn on my favorites. Also Wikipedia.

Also, I am not an expert in Arthurian literature (or Fallout lore, come to that), and I preemptively beg the pardon of anyone who is.

Finally, in no way am I claiming that all these parallels and thematic echoes are deliberate or even significant. In fact, I'd break it down into:

Clearly deliberate allusions, whether in or out of universe;

Probably coincidence, but could be someone deliberately capitalizing on a coincidental similarity;

Almost certainly coincidence, but fun to speculate about; annnnd

Blatant Monty Python references. (Because of course there are.)

I'll start with the big one.

Arthur Maxson, boy king and unifier

(source)

So across all the retellings and variations of King Arthur’s life story, there are a few consistent elements, particularly in his early life and rise to power. Some of these threads are echoed in the Fallout universe, specifically (and unsurprisingly) in the person of Arthur Maxson.

Both the legendary King Arthur and Arthur Maxson were born with a claim to power lying in their ancestry, both were fostered away from their families, and both proved themselves in combat at a young age. 

King Arthur united the warring kingdoms of Britain into a single entity, making them stronger against outsiders and receiving general admiration and acclaim. Arthur Maxson united the divided factions of the BoS after the events of Fallout 3 and is held in similarly high regard by his men.

The name Prydwen is a reference to the ship of the original King Arthur. Presumably, Arthur Maxson (or someone in the BoS who anticipated his promotion) christened the airship in a deliberate homage to the Arthurian myth.

King Arthur is associated with his legendary sword. I think it’s notable that Maxson’s legend is associated with a bladed weapon, too. ("He killed a DEATHCLAW with a COMBAT KNIFE!”)

Probably coincidence, but fun: the historical emperor Magnus Maximus, who pops up a lot in early Arthurian legend, was known in Welsh as... Macsen. (⌐■_■)

Round Table, but make it dieselpunk

(Continued under the cut.)

Moving away from obvious allusions and into some looser parallels:

Like the Round Table, the Brotherhood is an exclusive knightly order with its leader being the one able to open it up to his chosen few.

Like the Round Table, the BoS sees itself as defending human civilization against forces of chaos. (I’ll touch on their tech-hoarding tendencies when I get to the Grail stuff.) This idea of civilization in the face of chaos goes back to the BoS’s founding, even though the level of isolationism we see in most of the Fallout franchise is not exactly what founder Roger Maxson had in mind: “Notably, Maxson's ultimate intention was to establish the Brotherhood as an organization that works closely with people outside of the Brotherhood, as guardians of civilizations, not its gatekeepers.” (source) In a lot of ways, Arthur Maxson represents a return to his ancestor’s original ideals.

Renegade knights? Internal politics? Traitors within? We gotchu.

In both the medieval legends and in all chapters of the BoS we’ve seen, there’s a big focus on bloodlines (ew). Ironically, it’s probably Arthur Maxson’s unquestionable ancestry that allows him to be more progressive than either of his East Coast predecessors when it comes to boosting Brotherhood numbers by recruitment (even though you can still see a clear division between “born Brotherhood” and recruited soldiers, but that’s a topic for another day). Maxson sees himself as an Elder who "cares for the people"—however misguided and patronizing that attitude might be—and whatever else you might say about the guy, you can't say he doesn't believe he has a duty. Which brings us to…

Know Your Enemy: Danse as Gawain

Before I start this section, an acknowledgement of authorial bias:

Gawain, as portrayed in the Middle English poem Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, is my very favorite of King Arthur’s knights. (Other stories aren't always as flattering, but like I said at the outset: I'm sticking to the ones I like.)

That poem is my very favorite piece of medieval Arthurian literature. In this section, I'll refer to the modern English translation by Simon Armitage.

...that’s it, I have no other biases to disclose. 

What? 👀

(Art: Clive Hicks-Jenkins)

All right. So in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, you’ve got this himbo loyal knight of Arthur’s who finds himself caught up in... you know what, let me just paste in the Wikipedia summary. (The Toast, RIP, also did a pretty entertaining and more-or-less accurate recap.)

It describes how Sir Gawain, a knight of King Arthur's Round Table, accepts a challenge from a mysterious "Green Knight" who dares any knight to strike him with his axe if he will take a return blow in a year and a day. Gawain accepts and beheads him with his blow, at which the Green Knight stands up, picks up his head and reminds Gawain of the appointed time. In his struggles to keep his bargain, Gawain demonstrates chivalry and loyalty until his honour is called into question by a test involving the lord and the lady of the castle where he is a guest.

Don’t worry too much about the plot details, though; for this post, I’m more interested in the thematic parallels. The Green Knight story is full of contrasts: order vs. chaos, civilization vs. wilderness, mortal man vs. Other... but let’s start with Gawain himself. 

Some stuff to know about Gawain:

He was "as good as the purest gold, devoid of vices but virtuous and loyal". Gawain took his principles more seriously even than the rest of Arthur’s knights, not out of pride but out of humility: "I would rather drop dead than default from duty," he says. 

He’s faithful and honorable and never even tempted to betray an oath, even when offered every variety of seduction and riches, except for a single moment of weakness in a desperate desire not to be executed for random shit by powerful forces for reasons he doesn't understand.  

Even though he doesn’t really understand why he needs to die, he sticks to his oath. Gawain's one weakness is a moment of desperate, private, human desire for survival. He'll submit to the headsman’s axe if he has to, but he'd still rather live. 

Above all, Gawain is the ideal of a human man: he might be the bravest and loyal man there is, but he’s still fundamentally human.

You can probably see where I'm going with this.

A few more fun facts about Gawain that resonate with Paladin Danse’s story:

He’s got a bunch of really shitty brothers. (No comment.)

Gawain (SPOILERS!) doesn't actually end up beheaded, but he does willingly kneel for his execution and gets a cut on the throat as a reminder of his sin. And, uh, Danse can also get his throat cut! It doesn’t end as nicely but it’s, you know, a thing that can happen.

Gawain might be a really good guy, and he tries really hard to be one, but in the end he’s nothing more than that: there’s nothing supernatural about him, he has no special powers beyond his own principles and devotion. He’s just a dude doing his Best. 

Wait, why not Danselot?

Oh, that guy? Here’s the thing.

Lancelot personifies the continental ideals of courtly love that became popular in the High Middle Ages. Central to his story is the prioritization of personal relationships and romantic feelings in a way that you don’t really see in Gawain's, at least in the Green Knight tale. (Later stories hook Gawain up with an extremely delightful lady, but even that is a different flavor of romance than Lancelot's and has more to do with Gawain honoring his word and his egalitarian treatment of women (hell yeah). In the poem, Gawain is impressed by Bertilak's wife but resists her temptation; in fact, the biggest risk is not that he'll yield to her advances but that he'll be discourteous to her, i.e., violate his principles and cause dishonor to his king and his host.)

Lancelot is driven by passions over principles in a way that Gawain never really is (at least in the stories I’m talking about; later writers have committed character assassination to various degrees). Yes, you could argue that both Gawain and Lancelot betray their oaths, but Lancelot’s betrayal is never, um, blind. He knows what he’s doing and makes a deliberate choice to prioritize his love for the queen over his love for the king. It doesn’t make him a bad guy—he too is an ideal knight with one fatal flaw—but his character isn’t as comparable to Paladin Danse. 

Yeah, Gawain is (in most stories) a prince and a kinsman of Arthur’s, but he’s ultimately a native boy who doesn’t break the mold of a Knight of the Round Table. Likewise, Danse is portrayed as competent and valuable to the BoS, but not exceptional or breaking the mold of what a BoS soldier should be: he simply represents the ideal. Meanwhile, Lancelot is a foreign prince who was marked from childhood as special and fancy, and his storyline goes alllll over the place. (Much like this post.)

For example, Lancelot goes to absolutely absurd extremes to prove his devotion for no other reason than to prove it. (“I’ll do any useless humiliating thing you want. I’ll betray every oath except the one I made to you. That’s what love is!”) Gawain would never. Danse would never.

Ultimately, Gawain's tests are of his character and not of his love. And like Gawain, Danse’s devotion is to service and his principles, not to another person—even Arthur Maxson.

All that said, there are some similarities: both are beloved by Arthur, both are held up as the ideal of what a knight should be. And even if their fatal flaws are different, both make the point that no matter how good and brave and loyal they might be, no human being can be perfect. 

(Except Galahad. Who is, as a result, very boring.) 

I’ll conclude this section with a quote from someone else’s take on the Greek Knight poem:

I like Gawain. He’s not perfect, but he’s trying his best which is all any of us can do. He’s not like the other knights in the Arthurian legends who occasionally ‘accidentally’ kill women on their little adventures and then feel hard done by when they have to deal with the consequences of that. Gawain holds himself to a high standard – higher, it seems, than Arthur and his knights hold him to considering how hard they laugh when Gawain tells them how bad he feels about the whole thing.

I think Gawain is very relatable in this story. We all want to be better than we actually are.

And that, more than anything else, is Danse.

The Grail myth

What’s that? Lost relics of power? Better send some large armed men after ‘em!

The parallels to the BoS’s tech-hoarding ways are obvious enough that the games themselves lampshade them (albeit by way of Monty Python). But it also ties into the larger themes of “purity��� versus “corruption” and the BoS’s self-image as a bastion between civilization and chaos. (See Maxson's line in response to the Sole Survivor’s quip about the Dark Ages: “Judging from the state of the world, it wouldn't be a stretch to say we're living in that era again.”)

But the ultimate futility of the Grail mission is also worthy of note. The BoS might want the power of prewar tech on their side, but they’re no more to be trusted with it than any other group of human beings. No matter how they try, the “corruption” of humanity can’t be overcome as long as they’re striving to harness power for their own ends. You can only achieve power by surrendering control of it.

The death of Arthur

The nature of gameplay being what it is, it's not guaranteed that the Arthur figure will be fatally betrayed, bringing Camelot down with him—but it's not unlikely, either.

Awkward.

Some final spitballing:

Outside the Brotherhood, there are some fun parallels of the Arthur myth with the rest of Fallout 4. Betrayal by one’s own son, for example.

The key difference between the BoS and the legendary Round Table: King Arthur’s knights, for all their flaws and human weaknesses, are usually presented as unambiguous Good Guys. The BoS is... a little more ambiguous...

...but damn if they don’t think they're the good guys. 

A-ad victoriam, fellas!

[adxmparriish]

Book recs?

hi! I can absolutely give you some 🖤

if we were villains by m.l.rio — favorite book of all time, it’s dark academia with some mystery and thriller elements. seven students who study shakespeare find themselves trapped up in a murder and it’s fantastic. the prose is to die for. I can’t properly explain how much this book means to me, it literally rewired my brain chemistry.

stalking jack the ripper series by kerri maniscalco — this is a 4 book series following a couple who perform autopsies and try to solve murders. the main couple is FANTASTIC and has one of my favorite fictional men of all time. the banter and love declarations are to die for. there is also plenty of angst and gothic atmosphere, too! all around amazing series, and do NOT forget to read the novella!

the folk of the air trilogy by holly black — I will never shut the fuck up about this series. wicked boy meets monster girl in a battle for the crown of elfhame and it’s fucking phenomenal. jude and cardan are one of my favorite fictional couples but don’t go into this series expecting a full blown romance. there’s a lot of political conflict with a romance splashed in, but when you do get those moments, boy… they’re juicy. enemies to lovers done right.

the raven cycle series by maggie stiefvater — codependent teenagers love each other so much it makes me sick. that’s basically it. oh, and one of them is doomed to kill her true love when she kisses him. oh, and there’s tarot and a dead welsh king and boys who bring things back from their dreams and a magic forest and a girl with hooves and just. read this? please?

these violent delights by micah nemerever — it’s hard to explain this book accurately but two boys find themselves so deeply obsessed with each other and wrapped up in their own game and it leads to absolute insanity. this book is dark though, so be warned. definitely check trigger warnings.

six of crows duology — fantastic books set in the world of “shadow and bone” about six teenagers on a heist. you don’t HAVE to read shadow and bone first but i’d recommend it. there are slight spoilers for that trilogy and elements you may not understand if you don’t. but I love these characters so much more and this story is amazing. there’s diversity and romance and tragedy and just!!!! so much!!!

the locked tomb series — these books are IMPOSSIBLE to explain but trust me when I say they are AMAZING. it’s got necromancy and love in its purest form and complex story arcs and impossible scenarios and HUMOR, SO MUCH HUMOR, and just. I can’t recommend this series enough. I will say though, prepare to be confused a lot until the writer finally lets it all come together, because that’s just how the books are. I promise it’ll all make sense.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

alright we are BACK! last three acts let’s get it

-once again, gratuitous word changes

-pls get my kiddo out of military fatigues

-seriously though she’s such an amazing chorus i love her energy so much

-okay so i looked up this actress and according to her instagram this was her first EVER shakespeare production. how the FUCK

-NICE lighting and effects

-i continue to love this quartet of singers

-ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH

-they’re singing sweet caroline oh boy

-protect her <3

-the way she switches to mandarin because she’s scared 🥺

-katherine is also gower

-falstaff is fluellen

-Stereotype Captain Time!

-quickly is macmorris!

-“say that to my FACE, you little bitch” -not what macmorris said but what macmorris MEANT

-the governor of harfleur is on a video call

-when henry threatens the women at harfleur exeter (a woman in this production) gives him a side glance like “WHAT”

-this scene is always a LOT

-katherine and alice are boxing!

-i love them both so much

-alice playfully punches katherine in the elbow when she gets the word wrong

-this katherine is definitely DELIGHTED to be able to cuss

-“bloody england” in a french accent goes HARD

-most exciting take on the king of france’s speech ever

-fluellen’s got a little snack

-also hi subtitler why can’t you translate any of the welsh

-pistol flips fluellen off

-now montjoy has a fancy coat

-henry offers montjoy a seat beside him and montjoy takes it but not before dusting it off lol

-bardolph gets hanged onstage after montjoy leaves and henry just watched

-and that’s where they put intermission!

-haunting song to kick us off for the second half!

-chorus rocks it again

-is the dauphin sniffing cocaine?

-“MON CHEVAL EST MA MAITRESSE”

-HARRY LE ROY

-“no i’m a welshman” “OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE”

LMAO PISTOL

-go OFF williams

-yeah henry this is…not a great argument

-the way williams just casually tossed her glove at henry omg

-time for henry to have a breakdown

-more beautiful singing

-awww we only got the first bit of “o god of battles” :(

-rambures is not your lackey just because she’s a woman

-alright everyone it’s st crispin’s time

-let’s sit down and have a Moment

-say it with me: we few, we happy few, we band of brothers…

-henry groans and rolls his eyes when montjoy shows up

-henry: how many fucking times do i have to tell you i am NOT going to be ransomed

-henry made a very naughty pun on constable

-alright battle of agincourt HERE WE GO!!!

-wait is he singing the aria of the cold spirit from purcell’s king arthur? if so weird choice but okay

-clever that the sword becomes a bayonet in this staging

-kiddo went (citation needed)

-shoutout to sound and lighting and special effects y’all are POPPING OFF

-someone give exeter a hug

-rip all the kids

-except our kiddo is apparently the english herald now? at least she lived i guess

-henry just YEETED kiddo dude why

-ope it’s prisoner killing time

-everyone else: what the fuck henry

-henry just killed one himself omg

-and rip all the french prisoners

-well that broke my heart (the quartet sang while all the dead french prisoners took off their shoes and left them in the dirt. i think a few english did so too. kiddo stood there and cried and a couple soldiers tried to provide comfort)

-rare production to keep fluellen’s rambling here

-also interesting that fluellen seems to be REALLY upset with henry here

-montjoy does not have his fancy coat anymore :(

-poor montjoy needs a hug

-henry’s first reaction after learning of the victory is to go “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

-fluellen starts singing in welsh and someone shoots him a Look

-well at least we simplified the glove subplot because in full form it works very rarely

-poor williams is spiraling

-williams is so relieved she goes “oh FUCK”

-someone give williams a hug

-henry does not seem very shocked or upset by the french death totals

-they also cut the english death total down to 25??? they just omitted the reading of the four names because…reasons?

-RAGER in the english camp

-“rager over everyone our time for me to do my next speech”

-yes girlie do that mic drop

-leek scene!

-so they’re setting up for this meeting

-chorus kiddo replaces gower, presumably bc gower is also playing katherine

-who thought it would be a good idea to have fluellen and pistol work together

-fluellen is just straight up beating pistol

-fluellen is now holding a knife to his neck and making him eat chunks he spit out from the floor, which seems…a bit much

-and fluellen is now…peeing on pistol? because reasons?

-and now pistol is trying to shoot himself because of quickly’s death

-first production to actually make me feel really bad for pistol in this scene?

-the queen of france is not in this production

-katherine gets her lines, which are translated into french

-i love katherine and alice so much

-henry is HOPELESS

-GET HIM KATHERINE

-henry yells at alice for not being able to translate dude chill out

-oh he’s PISSED

-oh that was a “fuck you” kiss from katherine if i EVER saw one

-dauphin flipped off henry lol

-“zadok the priest” time

-“his england…my england…our england” ouch. the world belongs to and has ramifications for more than just the powerful, huh?

anyway, great show and great job everyone!

national theatre/donmar warehouse henry v is free for the next few days, so let’s react:

-starting off strong with this quote

-chorus immediately wins my heart

-also i want her outfit

-weird choice to just change words here and there but okay i guess

-i do miss the double meaning of “ciphers” (they replaced it with “actors”)

-chorus is apparently doubling boy

-her little wink at the audience omg

-“sweet caroline party remix” LMAO

-starting off with a scene from 1 henry iv (i think) with bardolph (who is also a woman) instead of poins?

-okay but this sweet caroline remix low key SLAPS

-“boy!” “GIRL!”

-quickly is FINE

-henry iv hal plot speedrun

-okay but that is NOT how hal found out about his dad’s death. he was there!

-love the singers

-poor hal 😭

-funeral crashers!

-also yeah that was NOT how that rejection happened

-also why are you only going to do like five lines of that speech if you’re going to do it. you can spare a couple extra minutes

-this is now the second english history production i’ve seen with the opening of monteverdi’s vespers to the blessed virgin

-the throne is a blue plastic chair lol

-THE ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY HAS A SALIC LAW POWERPOINT I REPEAT HE HAS A SALIC LAW POWERPOINT

-does not feature clip art unfortunately but STILL. OH MY GOD.

-henry is STRUGGLING

-i just need to share exeter’s face

-everyone groaning when the powerpoint continues lmao

-montjoy is also FINE

-gratuitous word changes continue

-everyone starts awkwardly laughing at the tennis balls

-montjoy’s calm side eye at “but this lies all within the will of God” omg

-great tennis balls speech

-oh so that’s where that line went

-chorus/kid is part of a training montage. isn’t the kid supposed to be like 12???

-nym is just Sad (nym is also played by the same actor as montjoy)

-what do y’all have against iceland

-pistol kisses his (arm) guns on “i am armed” lol

-kiddo yells at bardolph in mandarin

-“little body with a mighty heart” yeah that’s you chorus <3

-cambridge and scroop are played as women but still referred to with masculine titles

-british friends: is that a thing now? i’ve noticed it a couple other times too

-also bye bye henry/scroop homoeroticism i guess

-cambridge and scroop are also both very pretty (and i want cambridge’s sweater)

-henry cannot remember grey’s name for the life of him lolol

-cambridge screams “you are destroying this country!” and then tries to attack henry…and then immediately asks for mercy

-weird cut here but okay i guess

-this speech breaks my heart every time

-nym very awkwardly gives quickly a thumbs up before leaving

-okay but why are pistol and quickly low key adorable

-oh honey someone give her a hug please

-off to france!

-ooh they’re doing this scene in french!

-ooh katherine is here! and she’s fighting with her brother! she is politically savvy!

-the dauphin awkwardly greeting exeter in english lolol

-the king is just looking at the dauphin like “what the FUCK did you do”

-the dauphin took that euphemism and ran with it

-the dauphin going “bye bye” omg

-EXETER GOING “AND ENCHANTÉ” BACK AT HIM LMAO

okay i’ve got my own play to get ready for so that’s it for now but rest later, i hope!

[crimeronan]

hello. i followed you for correct leverage opinions, and have continued to do so because the vibes. impeccable. that being said, please tell me about the trc and cdth and the nightmare trauma pals and the other group

omg. okay i'll do my best

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater is the first series, you'll find a lot of quick and simple summaries of the plot with a google search. there's a girl who can't kiss anyone because she'll kill her true love with a kiss, a boy searching for a dead welsh king in virginia to give his life meaning, a lot of romping around in the woods, etc

but the heart of the story is that it's about these six teens from wildly different backgrounds (though one of them doesn't enter the scene until book 3) falling in love and being Horribly messy about it. the external plot is centered on magic but the internal arcs are all about isolation, mental illness, classism, identity, growing up, growing apart, love as a choice. most of the main cast is desperately trying to save a doomed boy who just wants to make sure all of his loved ones will be okay when he's gone

the ot6 polycule is made up of

the girl who's already grieving the doomed boy because she's seen his future ghost, trying so hard not to let anyone else in on her secret, taking on more trauma and fear by the day as the series progresses

the doomed boy himself, an achingly lonely and extremely privileged kid who wants to do the right thing but always seems to fuck up; he feels he loves everyone more than they'll ever love him

the classic scholarship kid present in any book involving a boarding school, poor with a rough home life, desperately in love with the doomed boy without believing that love actually exists, & sick with terror bc of it

the shouty fighty walking disaster who's just starting to recover from a suicide attempt; found his father's dead body and it's been all downhill from there. nasty and caustic but prone to consistent quiet kindness

the actual ghost who's dependent on magic and the love of his friends to stay corporeal, exhausted, tired of decaying and trapped in a traumatic feedback loop that he can't pull himself out of

the social chameleon who's up to his ears in double identities and the criminal underground and trauma of his own, trying to suss out whether any of the other 5 are trustworthy and whether he can use them to his own ends

all of the interpersonal relationships are STUNNING and dynamic, characters can go from enemies to friends to enemies to lovers over the course of a few books, it's all just. really good

call down the hawk is a sequel to this series, the first book in a trilogy

it's about magic as chronic illness, magic as community, magic as something that wants to kill you but could also save you; you can view all of the character arcs through different lenses of disability, & the main conflict in book 2 boils down to accommodation versus independence for chronically ill people

the nightmare trauma pals are ronan and hennessy. both of them can bring their dreams to life. both have had nightmares try to kill them for years, thanks to their unrelenting ptsd and other illness. they're intensely platonic (ronan is gay) and have all the dynamic messiness of the trc relationships, turned up to eleven

they become best friends almost instantly because of their combined ability to laugh and to call the other on their shit; they're messy because they're awful codependent freaks who are both FAR too sick to truly help the other; ronan is trying to be someone healthy for hennessy despite having no idea what that looks like, so he's making it up as he goes along; hennessy doesn't understand why everything feels awful and ronan isn't helping like he promised and also why he doesn't seem to care that their codependency hurts her

but that's just one of many complex relationships in the series -- another extremely compelling one is between hennessy and jordan, a girl who's "not real" because hennessy dreamed her, but Very Fucking Real insofar as she has interiority and her own motivations and desires and a desperate want to be free. and how hennessy keeps dragging her back because she's so afraid of having to exist without jordan taking care of her

dreamer trilogy is SIGNIFICANTLY darker and more fucked up than the raven cycle, which is why i love it the most. but if you prefer lighter media you might like trc better! also this overview barely touches on, like, anything i have to say about either series. as evidenced by.... the thousands of posts on my blog. but these are the main highlights that i'm In It for!

[cupidford]

A fic to rec for every day of January! 

517k of loveliness. I’m still catching up with all the Christmas fic that was written, so I’ll probably still have a ton of it even to rec when spring rolls around.

😍😍

Shadows at Midday by alexxphoenix42

The Cardassian empire moves in to claim the planet Bajor and lives are both disrupted and lost. The tale of one Cardassian boy and one Bajoran boy who met on a warm summer's day. ~135.5k

Take Two by Raina_at

Theatre AU. Six years ago, Sherlock, promising young actor, broke Stage Manager John's heart. Sherlock returns to the same theatre, but have they really moved on? ~23.5k

Solstice by Calais_Reno

10 years. He lost John slowly, without either of them deciding that’s what would happen. The way to come back together must be so gradual that it’s almost imperceptible. (Estranged relationship). ~7k

😍

Isosceles by SilentAuror

Sherlock is asked out by a huge celebrity. John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date... ~56.5k

It Could Be Us by JaneOfCakes

AU. John is just getting off work and goes straight to Greg's club to meet his boyfriend Jim, but the evening takes an unexpected turn when he sees Sherlock dancing. ~14k

Consulting for Christmas by ohlooktheresabee

The Louvre Museum in Paris wants to exhibit a faberge egg. Rumours of a master-thief convince Sherlock to consult on security, but he's also a bit busy trying to woo a jealous ex-army doctor. ~40k

Rupert Street by WritingOutLoud

Discharged from war and in an effort to understand his newfound queer identity, he heads to a bar one night, where he stumbles across a mysterious stranger in the midst of a murderous case. ~27.5k

Danger Nights by khorazir

An investigation of a series of strange occurrences leads John and Sherlock to the Welsh Marches, to face ghosts weird and ancient as well as close and personal. ~23.5k

😘😘

Do Not Harm by Calais_Reno

1923, Dr John Watson is on trial for the murder of his lover, Mary Morstan, a writer of popular mysteries. Sherlock sets out to prove his innocence, but finds himself infatuated. ~79k

In the New Year by stopthat

Molly has something to say. John listens. (To Sherlock.) ~2.5k

Never Trust to General Impressions by thetimemoves (WriteOut)

Five things John Watson knows for sure about Sherlock Holmes and one thing he completely misses. ~9.5k

The Subtenant by khorazir

221B is haunted. Sherlock and John set out to investigate their new subtenant and find out more than they bargained for. ~12k

😘

a few hours away by weneedtotalkaboutsherlock (Paradoxe1914)

1939. Soldier John meets Sherlock in a bar for just one night. They continue their correspondence in letters. But will John make it through the war? ~5k

Once Upon a Dream by VTsuion

ACD Victorianlock. After spending the evening watching Watson dance with a dozen some young ladies, when they return to Baker Street Holmes decides it's his turn. ~1k

Letters From My Windmill by mydogwatson

Victorian/ACD Epistolary. Holmes is away from home and bored, up until the moment he isn’t. ~1.5k

Take Two - Six Christmases by Raina_at

Theatre AU. Six Christmases in the lives of actor Sherlock and stage manager John, from their first kiss to the present day. ~5.5k

A Thousand Memories by mydogwatson

Point of One Fixed Point series. ACD/Victorian. Holmes and Watson’s courtship continues. ~1.5k

Letting Go by insistentbass

Sherlock and John pretend to be in a relationship at a club for a case. (Wall restraints / handcuffs). ~8.5k

Magnetic Field by Mouse10

Making love is a different prospect and can be full of promises, tenderness, care and comfort. ~3.5k

😊 Honorable Mentions 😊

A Slow Morning at Baker Street by 17stepstobakerstreet

Established relationship sleepy morning cuddles. ~1k

on lovers lips by simplyclockwork

Sherlock stopping john after he tries to kiss him for the first time and says really quietly “john i want you to be very sure ..." ~500

The Tarmac by Calais_Reno

There are things that need to be said. ~5.5k

Am I the Current (Tiger) King of England? by Dee_Laundry

“I had the weirdest dream last night,” John said. Seven times. ~9.5k

The Tailor of Grey Eagle Street by tweedisgood

ACD Holmes buys a new waistcoat and a mystery to go with it; Watson surprises himself. ~6.5k

two idiots, one idea by simplyclockwork

Established relationship. the time Sherlock and John simultaneously proposed to one another and Lestrade tricked them both. ~1.5k

Dogtags, A Scarf and a Coat by OnlyForward

Sherlock comes back after TRF and reveals himself to John during the proposal. But instead of punching him John takes him home to Baker Street, where they confess. ~2k

Shepherd, Joy & Blankets by insistentbass

John pulls back from a kiss. Sherlock disappears for a few days. There's a hill, and snow, and it's almost Christmas. ~6k

Hallelujah by Randomwordsonpaper

If he didn’t know better, he would’ve sworn he’d just fallen in love with a complete stranger. (Sherlock goes undercover as a busker with some carolers, John stumbles upon him and a case). ~8.5k

a pleasant surprise by simplyclockwork

Sherlock's first birthday after his return from the dead. ~3.5K

Angels We Have Heard On High by thewatsonbeekeepers

After Mary's death, Sherlock and John come to terms with their feelings for each other as they live together in Baker Street. ~15.5k

happy birthday, dear heartache by allsovacant

Sherlock comes home on his birthday two years after dismantling Moriarty's network. ~2k

[shayberri789]

He makes me so ill. Some things I'd like to add:

(I've put in a readmore because good lord did this get long. Sorry op)

Ive had a theory that those meltdowns Malory described - reliving his death during the day - is the same thing that happens to Noah when he starts to become untethered to the leyline. You know how he relives his death in bllb? I think it's the same, and I don't know if that's better or worse. I think the closer you are to the event, the more often it happens. Because somewhere in time you are always dying, and the more connected you are to that time, the more you'll relive it

I think gansey likely had been gaslighting himself for a long time about his death, before he proved to himself that magic is real. Can you imagine, Baby gansey, miraculously alive, convinced he'd died and was saved by a mythical dead king, but there's not a scratch on him? Parents who love him but are still distant, not a single real friend he can trust, no one quite sure what to do with this strange boy? Gansey, stop saying you died. Look at you. You're perfectly healthy. Magic isn't real gansey. Your imagination is getting away with you - if you'd been stung by bees, you'd be dead gansey. But you're quite alive (but I did die! 10 year old gansey says desperately.) Stop being dramatic gansey. Stop talking about this nonsense - youre making your parents look bad. Dick, this is an important meeting, please don't bring up your welsh king or imagined death tonight okay dear? People will think you're crazy. Oh look at the rich kid! Has to make up some trauma in order to be special. Go ride in your fancy car asshole and stop mocking people with real trauma

And for years.... on and on and gansey is like fuck? Did I make it up? I need to stop with this I'm causing Problems for people. I'm being over dramatic. No one believes I died. I'm not traumatised! I'm perfectly fine! Look at me! Can a traumatised person do THIS? *whips up a blinding smile*

But then why do these nightmares persist? Why is the vision so clear in my mind every time I see a bee? My therapist doesn't believe I'm telling the truth and they'd know best.

Just imagine two years of everyone and yourself gaslighting you (intentionally or not) that nothing happened. You're Perfectly Fine. You're the son of the Ganseys, boy, act like it. You're not going to get any help or sympathy if you melt down or show distress so you better hide it. Hide your fear and your anxiety because that's the only way you're Valid. The only existence you're allowed. Keep repressing it and bottling it up until it's too much and you - need a break.

A short holiday to somewhere with a leyline, I don't know. Gansey splits off from his family when he Hears the locals talking about a headless black dog wandering the fields at dusk. Gansey is 12 and he has to see this, so he goes, along with a village boy who claims he can summon the rain when he sings in the fields, and who's seen the dog more than anyone

Dusk comes, with no dog in sight, so they decide to pass the time with the boy singing. And the rain comes, and there in the distance is a headless black dog that never seems to be closer than 6 meters, but to gansey, it's enough. It's proof.

He returns home dripping wet and filled with hope (goodness dick! Did you fall into a fountain? No, I got caught in some rain, is all. What? There hasn't been any rain in this town for days.) (For once, their denial is more evidence - because that was magic rain, and for one, gansey wasn't the only one to see it)

He researches the town and learns about leylines, and it starts.

He posters his parents into holidays all over the world, to carefully chosen places so he can do more research, and soon enough he stops bothering and just goes on his own. His parents are glad hes found something to occupy himself with that aren't his delusions. In time, they forget

I think it's said that Gansey spent the most time with Mallory than anywhere else barring Henrietta. What do you think it was like, working with him? This old eccentric man, just as much an expert in leylines as Gansey has become, and he's so kind. He's the fist person to believe gansey when he tells him about his death. It's more vulnerable than gansey has been with someone in years, and it sirs between them like a weighted secret. The nightmares never stopped - maybe it was after the first few that he opened up to malory. Maybe he's not used to being able to rely on someone else. Maybe he just barely misses stepping on a bee and it's too much - years of fear and anxiety and uncertainty and being the only person who knows and believes what happened and honestly sometimes that latter one is harder to convince himself is true, but he nearly just made a repeat and malory is looking at him funny and no no he can't be weak, he can't show this affects him anymore, he has a reputation to uphold - but he's only 14. 15. He's a kid, and thats a lot of emotions and trauma to hold and press down, and he's been so fixated on this for years that his anxiety over his dear death (what COULD have happened), the stress, and the memory of what DID happen all conflates and suddenly he's relieving it, as if he had died.

Malory is alarmed of course and tries to help but what can he do? What can gansey do? And when it's over gansey cannot stand the looks he gets and the knowledge that malory saw his mask (survival mechanism) break that he feels crushed, and so he flees, and distance makes it easier to breathe

And life goes on. Gansey spends YEARS of his adolescence pretending he'd okay and he's got it down to an ART. He dates girls all over the world because his parents kept asking if he has a girlfriend yet. They never last long. He has a long distance once when he moves to Henrietta but when life gets too much, and he never really cared that much for her anyway, he breaks it off because it's easier.

And this is all just an expansion on what you've been saying so far but now I want to draw attention to that one part in trb (forgive me, I do not have my books with me so I can't quote) where gansey talks about how "his friends kept walking away from him, but he could never seem to walk away from them"

THAT gets me because - that's a 180. He's spent his life running from people. Making connections and leaving them easily. Ronan Adam and Noah are so important to him because not only did they believe him about magic, they believed him about his death (maybe it was a little harder for Adam. Maybe Adam was jealous of this second chance, because he knew that if he fucked up and his dad killed him for real, there'd be no second chances. But that's a story for another day. And I don't think hed let it show. Even if gansey is more intuitive (and anxious) than anyone knows. But it doesn't matter) and they take it as truth, simple. But what happened, in those early months, to win these boys gansey's loyalty to such a degree that he could sell his home to help them? That he would choose again and again to follow THEM (as well), to keep walking back to them when they push him away, to make him willing to die again for real for them? That he CANT BRING HIMSELF to leave, when every time before then, gansey had fled? Packed up and moved on?

And what about all the evidence that gansey's self esteem is in the gutter, but his self confidence is so pristine that no one notices that he thinks his life is worthless? That he has to prove he deserves to be alive? That he believes he DIDNT (maybe DOESNT) deserve his second chance? That he thinks he has no right to ever be upset, afraid, angry, self-pitting, depressed, traumatised? That he has no right to need help, let alone ask for it, because he has been taught to do everything himself (and isnt that just a fun house mirror to adam. Same issue, different expression. Richard gansey, army of one, oh so slowly learning that that doesnt need to be the case. But ganse, that doesnt mean you have to be the general), and in fact he has a RESPONSIBILITY to helping others? What about the fact that he doesn't think his friends would love him as much as he does them, because why would they? He's done the bare minimum. What about the fact that he doesn't think he deserves his friends, so he's blind to the loyalty they have to him? He feels like they're all walking away, but "if They (gansey) die, I (ronan) die too" "then you've killed him (ronan), Adam thought (at the prospect of taking ronan away from gansey). Adam giving up his wish for a future from glendower immediately when he realizes gansey will die. The fact that Adam, in his pov, never wants to walk away from gansey. He only wants to stand beside him, not behind him.

But gansey can't see any of this, because he doesn't know to look

And another thing that gets me is that - gansey has more masks than the Happy Mask Salesman from Majora's Mask, because he's had to shove himself so deep down and dark just to function and be accepted. But he so, so desperately wants to be known. There's so much evidence for it, but lemme list the ones I have off the top of my head:

Blue returns the journal to gansey, and it fits so perfectly in his hands, and he opens it and wants blue to see they're long acquainted, him and the journal, and he wants to show her that "this is the real me" (TRB)

When gansey goes to visit his parents, he contemplates how the Camero makes him feel on the outside how he feels on the inside. Despite all the layers, gansey wants to be himself, and he wants to show that to people. The car is an extension of that desire (TRB)

In this same scene, Gansey thinks about when he got the care and his dad said "why did he even want that car?" And his mom replied "oh, I know why." Gansey fixated on this, and even all this time later wants to ask her what she meant. Because she said something that meant she knew the real gansey, and he wants to know what that was

I think we all remember that scene in TRK when Gansey is talking to Henry in the hole, and Gansey contemplates what "gansey-like" was. How everyone thought they knew but he was always disappointed because it was surface level stuff. How delighted he was when Henry said secrets and was right, he had actually seen Gansey, and knew what gansey like was

And then at the party, I don't have any actual quotes for this but I could have sworn there was a passage where gansey muses that he felt strangely known by the Vancouver crowd

And the final point I want to bring to attention is that gansey build these masks because he had to, because no one wanted to see the broken and messy bits of gansey. But again and again, blue is the opposite. She outright hates gansey's masks. She really only starts to like him when she sees moments of genuine joy and enthusiasm in him, when he's being sincere or serious. When he starts to peel back his masks for her. How when she saw him afraid, he seemed more real to her. How she fell in love with him, just a bit, when she saw his ghost on the leyline, stripped of all pretence. How her favourite gansey is the quiet one late at night, on phone calls and phone rides, where he stops needing to pretend. That one scene in TRB, after Adam and gansey fought, and blue tells him about malory's failed ritual, and gansey makes a snarky comment and dismisses it with "ignore me, I'm being self-pitying" (which I don't think I need to comment on at this point). Blue replies '"you are being self pitying." But blue kind of liked him better that way'

Idk the fact that blue loves gansey most for the parts of himself he shut away because he'd been taught they weren't acceptable, that no one wanted to see them, that he had no right to have them let alone show them, but he is tired of masks and just wants to be known and understood, and here is blue (and noah and adam and ronan, though those are to different extents/directions) who loves him more for those parts. They're perfect for each other your honour

I'm done now but I told you I'm mentally ill for this boy. My son. My blorbo. I could say so much more about him but I'm tired now so this will have to suffice. I'm always thinking about him. He devastates me

so i'm rereading trc with my friend and we're currently on bllb and i just read chapter 30 and in it blue's asking malory what gansey used to be like before he moved to henrietta and the gansey that malory describes to blue is so different from the gansey she currently knows and i just cant stop thinking about it.

first off, malory describes gansey as "small" as in not just his height but as in gansey was young and it makes sense because at the time gansey was 15 but it just kind of does something to my heart when i think about young, small gansey trying to figure out why he's still alive.

malory then goes on to say, "He was still trying to prove that he hadn't just hallucinated. He was still quite obsessed with the event [his death] itself." gansey first died when he was 10 and to be obsessing over your death for FIVE years trying to convince others but mostly yourself that you didn't make it up that you actually died and not some part of a childs imagination it must've fucked with him so bad???

then malory tells blue exactly how obsessed gansey was with his death and was to the extent that he was always drawing bees and hornets and "Got screaming nightmares over it- he had to get his own place since I couldn't sleep with it [...] Sometimes these fits would happen in the day, too. We'd just be toddling through some riding path in Leicestershire and next thing I knew he'd be on the ground clawing his face like a mental patient." the gansey that blue currently knows doesnt act like that but this was only two years prior its fucking INSANE and it's here blue starts to think about the facade gansey had learned to throw up since he was a kid.

AND IT GETS WORSE SOMEHOW?? earlier in bllb in chapter 3, gansey talks about how he felt like running and how it had been a long time since he had felt that way. at the time it didn't make sense like wdym by that gansey but then back in chapter 30 malory tells blue how gansey just disappeared one day. left most of his bags and left without a word to anyone not even his family who then called malory to ask for gasneys whereabouts. "He picked himself up and moved on so easily, so quickly. He had done it so many times before England, Jane, and it was old hat to him."

it makes blue rethink every conversation she had with gansey previously, similarly to when adam heard gansey's voice of fear in the cave in chapter one where gansey had the panic attack because its around this book where the gangsey start to figure, as blue puts it, "It was more like the Gansey she'd seen was a partial truth."

it's so very easy to pass off ganseys insecurities and his feelings about how he should comfort other people but they shouldn't do the same for him because he's had it the easiest (his words not mine) because he himself skips over it so fast. like he'll mention something and then act like he's never thought or said it, like its something normal which really isnt and then it slowly makes sense that gansey throughout the series, starts to lose that mask (there's multiple masks but thats a conversation for another time) and the readers and the gangsey get to see what the real gansey is like instead of the bulletproof, untouchable gansey they're used to seeing.

the idea of gansey running is insane in a good way because its nothing like the gansey we know, plus paired with the fact about how young gansey has me clawing at the walls because he's just this kid desperate to prove he wasn't hallucinating, trying to find some purpose to his life before he finds it in henrietta. a kid who was still terrified of his death who relived it, screaming every night who still had panic attacks anywhere and everywhere and would end up clawing at himself because there's hornets everywhere. a kid who doesn't stay in one place too long who learns to put on an easy smile to convince everyone okay and gets so good at it that it works and people think that hes normal and okay when he's anything but.

idk pre canon gansey is something that i need to inject into my bloodstream and analyse in a lab.

[inky-duchess]

Hi! If it's not too much of a bother, could you explain what was up with the princes in the towers? I've read about it but I get so confused like, why were they in a tower, why would someone want 2 kids dead, and why do people say it was Richard III (althoug apparently it was Buckingham?). Also, sorry for any mistake, english isn't my first language

So it all began when our Himbo King, Edward IV married Elizabeth Woodville, a low ranking noblewomen. They had two sons, Edward and Richard. After Edward IV died, he named his younger brother Richard (Richard III) as Lord Protector, an action which as popular with everyone except the Woodvilles. While riding to meet the new King Edward V who was being escorted by his half brother and maternal uncle, Richard captured and imprisoned them both and took the young King into custody. This lead to Elizabeth and her daughters and her youngest son Prince Richard fleeing to Westminster Abbey to sanctuary. Richard and his Council began planning for Edward V's coronation where Prince Richard joined his brother in the Tower to await the ceremony, the event being pushed back multiple times which lead to a lot of suspicion about Richard's actions. In the end, Richard and the Privy Council declared Edward V and the other children of Elizabeth Woodville to be bastards as Edward IV may have been married before. The boys were now prisoners and the Woodvilles pushed out of power. Things were settled after all this panic, most people glad that a stablizing influence like Richard was in power. For months, people caught glimpses of the Princes in the Tower gardens but after a while nobody saw them again. This lead to speculation that the Princes were dead.

The obvious culprit was Richard III, since he had taken the throne and needed to stablize his grasp on England. Personally, I think that's very unlikely considering Richard's piety, belief in chivalry and love for his brother's memory. Not to mention it's a bad idea to start your reign killing kids, especially since your house is literally you, your son, your sickly nephew and your now bastardized nieces and nephews.

Another culprit that has been suggested some agent of the Tudors, but that's unlikely to me, at the beginning of Richard's reign, the Tudors really hadn't a snowball's chance in hell. Henry's claim was weak compared to the other players, really he had little chance of making his move then.

I think it was Buckingham, mainly because he had the most to gain. He could discredit Richard with the murder offering himself as an alternative, use Henry Tudor to weaken Richard's strength with Lancastrian and Welsh allies and then turn on Tudor when his time came. Buckingham had the opportunity, the ambition and the motive. He was playing the long game.

But I could be wrong. Perhaps I'm giving too much credit to all the suspects. We will never know and the remains found in the Tower will likely never be tested.