#I love making angsty implications about my OC's

[witch-sweets]

Made another practice animatic with my silly robot

Silly Billy fits her really well-

[whisperiin]

chrome is my fav but I like seeing my favs suffer a bit so 🤭 can I request an angsty to fluff one-shot (or whichever format you prefer) with chrome and a childhood friend gn!reader? (friends with feeling for each other teehee!!!) smth like reader goes missing during a mission on earth and a year later reader is found as a construct and brought back to Babylonia? emotional reunion with chrome and everything 😭🫶🏻

chrome makes me explode!!!! he has no business being so romantic.

Thank you! I adore your blog and I hope to see it grow in the future!! <3

hi anon, thanks so much you're so sweet !! i totally get you tho ... i loooove making my favs suffer teehee it's so fun ... i also really like this prompt i love love love angst to fluff !! fun fact, i actually have a wanshi smooching oc with a similar backstory !! great minds think alike (〃´𓎟`〃)

i wrote mooostly from chrome's pov since the reader got yoinked so i hope it's alright that they don't have Too much involvement, but all that aside i hope you enjoy!!

here i am (following your steps).

content warnings: implications of/vague allusions to death (you get better though)

When CHROME takes the mission report into his hands, he feels like the world has been pulled out from under his feet.

Your squadmates' faces were similarly grim — downcast eyes, lips pressed into thin lines — and no matter how hard he wanted to, he couldn't deny the truth of the matter, relayed to him in your captain's trembling apologies and Babylonia's standard typewritten font.

Your name, your rank, reported missing in action.

Chrome keeps his face carefully blank as he reads the rest of it over. Maybe he should have been there with you, he thinks. Maybe if you had one more person with you, then your squad wouldn't have had to split up, and you wouldn't have had to go alone, and —

"Thank you for letting me know," he says, a mask of fake reservation, and then he turns to leave.

There are pictures of you and him that you put up in his sleeping pod that he can't bring himself to take down, unopened gift boxes piled on top of the desk in the Strike Hawk lounge addressed to him. He thinks about how he wanted to straighten your jacket one more time before you swatted his hand away, and he wonders what you would say if he asked if you would still want to spend the rest of your life with him, like you believed you would growing up. You would always stay over for dinner, anyway, and his father already likes you — what's one more night, and one more, and one more?

It's a foolish, childish notion, but still the thought of it, the empty, gaping hole where you had once stood beside him, haunts him so.

Chrome sets the mission report face-down.

Time without you passes slowly. After each mission Chrome spends another hour searching for you, and after each mission he returns to Babylonia without even finding the slighest trace of you. Not a torn piece of your coat, your pistol, your remains — nothing to officially pronounce you dead, and precious little else to remember you by.

Sometimes, he catches himself checking in on the private comms channel he set up for the two of you. Today, too, he finds himself listening to the silence that your voice used to fill, casting his gaze off to the horizon, past devastated streets and ruined buildings —

— And then he catches a flash of something in the distance that almost eerily reminds him of you.

He doesn't waste a single moment before he gives chase, your silhouette that he was so used to seeing growing clearer and clearer with each step. Even though he might just be deluding himself, he needs to see with his own eyes that it's not you to believe it.

The silhouette turns at the sound of his footsteps and at the sight of your face, the world is pulled out from under him again.

"...Chrome?"

(How long has it been since he last heard your voice?)

"It's you," he says softly, falling from his lips like the answer to a prayer that even he can't quite believe. "...You're here."

The words bring a smile to your face — soft and bright and oh-so-familiar — and he reaches out for your hand, sliding down to hold your wrist. His fingers press against where he might feel your pulse but it's still, silent, cold, with only the same subtle thrum of electricity that sits beneath his own synthetic skin.

"I'm here," you echo, and for just a moment he sets aside all the questions running through his head.

Chrome takes another look at you, at your new metal body, at the same face he had seen every day growing up and seen in his dreams every night since you disappeared. He straightens your jacket and lets his hand rest on your shoulder for one moment, then two, waiting for you to swat his hand away.

"Chrome," you say, placing your hand over his. "Can I stay over for dinner?"

The question draws a surprised noise out of his throat, and his expression slowly melts into a smile.

"Always," he replies. "...And for however long you want to stay afterwards."

[silverefflux]

Sweaters

Chapter x + 0.5 of my König x Fem!OC fic, Rush

Fuckin chapter name. It's good as a standalone at this point LMAO

See Chapter List

Photo from Freepik

Summary: König takes a look at Kate’s closet.

C/W: MAJOR ANGST. MAJOR PLOTLINE SKIP. Established relationship, grieving, mentions of possible death, implications of violence, one pinch of racism

A/N: Chapter works fine alone, but is wayyy beyond the current position in the plotline. Sorry about the algebraic chapter number. While I still want my story in chronological order, I am mainly writing this for my enjoyment, and my mind is incapable of forcing itself to write in order right now.

As with my prior attempts to make multi-chapters in other fandoms, I can map out the whole plot almost instantly, but the writing itself of each chapter is so difficult. Enjoy (?) this sharp, angsty left turn though.

. . .

Possibility // Lykke Li

Dominik awoke lying face up, his limbs carelessly limp on their mess of a bed. It was the same position he fell asleep in. Like a corpse—hollow, lifeless—of which was the closest thing he felt like at the moment. The first thing that flooded his consciousness was a seeping ache on one side of his head. His eyelids reluctantly fluttered half-open. A boundless blur of white manifested itself into their bedroom ceiling; the same thing he last saw before his body surrendered to slumber.

Two painfully slow days have passed. Two days of tossing and turning in an untimed cycle of crying, then not crying. Not that he had a sense of time. Or a sense of being. His stomach grumbled as hunger crawled up to his throat, but no amount of food or water could answer for his soul craving his wife’s presence. No warm shower could replicate the feeling of her skin on his.

By now, the passengers’ and crew’s loved ones would have been storming Harrier Air’s headquarters for answers. He wished he had the strength to join them. He grew sick of watching the news too—it was all that everyone could talk about. There was no further lead anyway as to the plane’s whereabouts except the video that the hijacker sent to provoke the public.

“Captain down, First Officer down…”

If the shows weren't broadcasting replays of the same information, they were spewing senseless theories and tirades directed at anyone and anything. One of them pointed at Kate being “fairly new and foreign” as a possible fault. At that point, there was nothing more that Dominik wanted to do than to fling the remote control through the screen and into the commentator’s face, but instead he chose to simply turn the TV off.

He turned his head to the side and caught sight of her closet.

Her clothes are still in there. At some point I have to clean it—

Nein. Not unless they bring her body home.

A part of him wanted to believe that she was still alive. That maybe the terrorists were just exaggerating to add to their scare tactic. Or that, by some miracle, she was able to hold out for her life until rescue reached the plane. That is, if there still was a plane. Regardless, she was gone and no one knows where, and he wasn’t shying away from the possibility—the likeliness—that she wasn’t coming home and all he had left of her was her possessions.

With a grumble, he sat up and stared at the closet, then groggily paced towards it, mentally preparing himself to look at what’s inside. His fingers shakily gripped at the door handles, and the doors of the cabinet opened with a soft creak.

Her clothes were neatly kept in rows of hangers and columns of folded fabric. He ran his hands through the row of memories.

She wore this dress on our anniversary.

These were her favorite trousers to wear in-flight.

She would wear this coat over literally anything.

His hand stopped over the sleeve of a silken blouse hung in front of him. He closed his eyes as he brought the sleeve close to his face. Faint hints of Kate’s scent and her perfume immediately crept its way into him as the fabric softly rested on his cheek and nose.

For the first time in two days, he smiled.

But it was a bitter smile as a lump grew in his throat, a mere attempt to console himself over this meager replacement for human contact. When he opened his eyes, they were watering and his heart was racing, another wave of sorrow making its way. He leafed through the clothes lined up in hangers once more, this time with urgency, then slid them aside to reveal the rest of her clothes below. At the left corner, a stack of sweaters were safely folded away.

On top of the pile was her favorite—a knitted one that they bought together in Nuremberg during the holidays, already slightly worn out from being used and washed so often. If wearing it outside was deemed embarrassing, she would proudly wear it inside the house as a substitute for a t-shirt or a pajama top.

“It’s not just a Christmas sweater!” she would insist with her classic cackling laughter.

“It has Christmas tree designs, Katie. You don’t have to wear that all the time,” he would jokingly argue back.

He took the sweater out. Then the hoodie under it. Then the next one. Bunching them up together, he clutched them close to his chest and relished the small amount of comfort he found in Kate’s scent again. The wool from her favorite sweater brushed lightly at his lips as he held the clothes near, reminding him of what it was like to embrace her.

When was the last time we hugged?

After sorrow came a wave of guilt, and the joyless expression returned on his face.

I wish I gave a more proper goodbye.

I wish I had kissed her more before I left.

I wish I knew how much our fights didn’t matter.

I wish I was a better husband.

He wanted to cry, but his tears were close to running out that all he had left were the ones clinging around his lashes. That and the silent, crushing pain that felt like his demons pressing their muddy boots onto his heart and shattering it into a million pieces.

He crashed onto the pillows again, knees weakened by the agony. He rolled over to his shoulder, still desperately holding the sweaters close. If there was something Kate helped him do, it was hacking away at the walls that he put up so there was nothing but honest emotion expressed within the walls of their home. But honesty meant vulnerability, and with her gone, he was defenseless to his own grief.

Please come home.

If you really are dead, at least haunt me right now.

No tighter embrace was enough as he squeezed the sweaters even closer towards him. His head bowed into the fabrics as he winced, pleading with his own body to cry the pain out, but no tears were coming out. But there were none left. One would know they’re in a whole other level of misery when they’re begging themselves to cry for relief. All he had to grasp onto was to imagine what she would be doing if she was with him at the moment.

She would’ve snaked an arm around him and pulled herself into a cuddle, murmuring soft words of encouragement to comfort him. Her gentle hand would trace its way up his back and rest at the back of his neck, her thumb moving back and forth behind his ear.

He placed his hand where hers would’ve been.

When he opened his eyes, her face would be inches away, looking back at him. Smiling softly, wordlessly telling him things will be better, and that it’s okay for him to be this way around her.

“Damn it, Schatzi…” she would say in a long whine, “If you’re crying, I’m crying too.”

Then, still teary-eyed, they would giggle at them being absolute softies for each other behind closed doors. He would close his eyes and pull her close too, and slowly, things would become okay again.

Where are you, Kate?

Oh, how he missed those deep brown eyes of hers. He could fall into the pools of her irises, sinking into the depths of her being until the last sliver of light bid goodbye, but he wouldn’t think he was drowning. Rather, he would happily explore the mysterious abyss of her soul in that darkness.

It’s been around three months and two days since he last saw those eyes face-to-face. If only he was granted another chance to look at them again.

It’s been two days since the hijacking. There was still no sign of the plane. Its fuel could only last for so long. There were only two possibilities: that it landed somewhere undetected by radar and its navigational equipment tampered, or that it fell before it made its way to land. Dominik was afraid he knew which was more plausible.

If the plane crashed, I hope that she was unconscious or dead as it happened.

The thought of her suffering the way she did delivered the final blow to his chest as tears finally poured out again in sobs.

She didn’t have to suffer.

He knew that between the both of them, he was the one built to withstand that kind of torture. Not her. She didn’t deserve any of it. His hands clutched even more tightly at the sweaters as he cried out in torment, his mind calling out for her despite those around him convinced that she was gone, and his imagination convincing him that she was right next to him on the bed.

Es tut mir so Leid.

And the cycle starts again. He cried until he couldn’t cry anymore, tormenting himself to exhaustion until he fell back asleep.

. . .

Translation:

Es tut mir so Leid - I'm so sorry

For the algebra chapter number, the timeline skip, the spoiler, the PAIN, I am once again willing to receive a "SILVER WHAT THE FUCK" in the comments HAHAHAHAHHA love u all

[haloburns]

🐚🥤🍄

TUMBLR DIDNT NOTIFY ME THAT I HAD AN ASK ALKSLFKJS SORRY FOR THE TWO DAY WAIT

(from this post)

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

hmmm.... i like genuine surprises, like when an author updates a fic after a while, but i hated planned surprises?? like when people plan to Surprise Me with A Thing, i don't like that very much. mostly bc i hate the social expectation of formulating a response aljsdlkfjsdkjf

now in terms of writing, surprises like "oh here's a new headcanon about ur OC" that just...happen...to me while i'm writing get mixed reactions aksldjfdsk sometimes im SUPER EXCITED bc it makes xyz easier, sometimes i get irrationally angry bc DAMMIT NOW I HAVE TO CHANGE XYZ TO FIT. most of the time, tho, writing is just. surprise after surprise lmao

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

@dreamwraith is one of my FAVORITEST EVER authors, anything he writes, i will read.

@emeraldsandamethyst is another friend of mine whose works are INCREDIBLE, both funny and angsty, and GODS her smut is like. some of the best out there.

OH and anything @not-close-to-straight writes??? instantly opened and read. the fic i currently highly recommend from her is Territorial, bc HOLY SHIT vampires, but literally anything she's written i will tell people about.

i am reading a Linked Universe-related fic that i would recommend but a) i'm not dragging myself in public for that alskdjfkdjf and b) it has A Lot of Stuff that i would want to warn about before ppl jump into it. it is fucking GODS-TIER level good, and i'm in a discord with the author and some other fans and it's just...so much fun, i love that series and the discord sm. if u wanna know what it is, just dm me!

BUT WAIT ACTUALLY there is another linked universe-related series I LOVE that i will recommend: Linked Universe Townhouse AU by St0rmy it is SO FUCKING GOOD, i could talk about it all day. anything st0rmy writes, i recommend. she's a wonderful author and writes SUCH GOOD, COMPLEX CHARACTERS AND HER FIGHT SCENES???? THAT ONE FIGHT SCENE IN THE BRAVE????? OH MY GODS.

im really bad at recs, bc all knowledge of my fav fics and authors leaves my head immediately after being asked, but these are the ones on my brain currently!!

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

ohhhhhh okay, so this is a headcanon for mateo, my dp oc that i ship with danny. i wrote it out SOME in "stay for dinner?" but its full implications haven't been revealed yet, so here ya go!

mateo is a WONDERFUL liar. like. scary good at it. and its not bc he enjoys it, or whatever, but it was a coping mechanism he developed while dating this guy, santiago 'tiago'. kid was tryna be big and get in good with the gangs and dragged mateo along with him. mateo, young and naive, went along with it bc he liked tiago and he was slowly figuring out that he was attracted to danger so he didn't realize how bad it was until it was too late. after they broke up, the lying didn't necessarily go away, he just stopped doing it so often. but lying IS a skill that's needed, and he uses it when he needs to with danny (especially after his core begins to develop)

HOWEVER. he can't lie about like. petty shit?? or like when danny catches him doing something silly and calls him out (teasing) on it, he is suddenly THEE WORST LIAR ON THE PLANET (which just in turn reinforces the idea that he's a terrible liar overall to danny, which protects mateo's secrets further). danny's also oblivious, so he doesn't often catch him in a true lie. THAT is reserved for vanessa, emrys, manaia, luke, and eventually, dan. basically, everyone but danny (and nikau, poor bab) can see it alsflksjdfl

[dullweapons]

mun related ⸻ asked by @puxrlunae , @ourowndemise , @sapientiiae & anon ♡

♕ ━ which fictional characters are your favorites?

my ocs #selfcentered ✨

lol but shadow link is a long term favorite character of mine since i was 12 & i would roleplay with my friend & i was married to shadow & she was married to nico from percy jackson . it was cringe but hey thats how we got ray cause i started making ocs !!! i have the canon url for shadow & my gf wants me to rp him cause he just a silly man ....... just a little dude .....

also love ganondorf <3 he my dad <3 my father figure <3 he respect woman & is stronk & cool af but nintendo hates to give him character beyond evil man :( ww was his based era & i want it back .

outside of LOZ obviously ansem seeker of darkness slaps he sexy af & daniil from pathologic . fruity prick he's so stupid i want to kiss him .

✮ ━ top three favorite muses that you’ve played?

mostly rp ocs , we obviously have ray . hes fun af & is easy to write ! also vis ( @livingecho ) but its a little harder to write her cause she is smart & i have one brain cell sometimes .

i did rp another zelda OC which i think only amber ( @/spiritmaiden ) would really remember which is Colby Greenebay . he does have an account that's duel with his dad but he's so dark as a character cause of the theme of the family is the cycle of abuse and trauma being past down through family ( @skyloftacademy ) also debate about bringing him back but HMMMMMM

i.......i dont really rp canon muses . OTL

❤ ━ do you have any crackships for your muse?

i can't fucking make them cause ill say its crack & then it becomes seriously sweet or angsty & compelling . ill jokingly say ' lol ray x hylia ' & then the IMPLICATIONS WILL COME & ILL BE MAKING SHIP ART & LAYING IN BED AT 3AM THINKING

[mrs-dr-reid]

Said It And Meant It

(A Steve Harrington Fic)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!OC (Carrie Brown)

Summary: Carrie finally snaps and says everything she’s ever thought about Richard and Gloria Harrington when she’s invited to their house for dinner

Genre: Kinda angsty, but then it gets fluffy

Warnings: Swear words, allusions to everything the Harringtons did/didn’t do to/for Steve, implications of Richard falling under the “abusive husband” umbrella, Richard Harrington is a terrible human being and an even worse father, Gloria Harrington deserves a better husband but she’s still a sucky person and an even suckier mother, Steve is a precious baby who deserves all the love in the world, Nancy Wheeler is a great friend and a great listener

A/N: This is entirely self-indulgent and contains every single thing I want to yell at the Harringtons and force them to listen to whether they want to or not. And the GIF is most definitely Steve’s reaction once Carrie is done tearing into Dick and Gloria

Word Count: 3062

———————————————————————

Of all the things Carrie was planning on doing that day, verbally tearing Richard and Gloria Harrington brand new assholes was not on her list. She had some idea of what kind of people they were from whispers around town and offhanded comments and anecdotes from Steve that he thought were normal. Apparently, Richard Harrington never tips despite being one of the wealthiest men in Hawkins and Gloria Harrington can’t take five steps from her front door without making a snide comment about anyone. But she’d never actually met them in person. After Steve met her family for the first time, he confided in her that if he could help it, she’d never meet his parents because he didn’t want to think about what terrible things they’d say in front of her, and she agreed.

But a few weeks after that, Steve was bringing her to school and dropped it on her that his dad told him he had to “invite that girlfriend of his” over for his mother’s birthday dinner that Friday. He started profusely apologizing, but Carrie cut him off and said, “Steve, it’s okay. I’m a big girl. If I need to leave, I’ll just leave. It’s not like your parents can force you to stop seeing me, you’re almost 19 years old,” which made him nod before kissing her forehead and saying, “How on Earth did I get so lucky?”, earning Carrie’s reply of, “Your guess is as good as mine, Harrington,” as she got out of the car and the two of them walked into the high school together.

She had to admit that she was slightly nervous as she got ready on Friday, because she’d heard a lot of things about the Harringtons and most of them weren’t very kind, but she steeled herself and proclaimed out loud in her bedroom mirror, “I’ll form my own opinion about Steve’s parents. If it ends up being positive, great. If not, it’s not like I’ll be forced to be around them all the time,” nodded confidently, then grabbed her coat, her keys, and the bouquet of daisies she bought for Mrs. Harrington (most people like daisies, and she even triple checked with Steve that Mrs. Harrington wasn’t allergic to pollen or anything beforehand) before heading down the stairs and out the door of her house to her car, as she’d insisted on driving herself because if things got ugly she didn’t want to force Steve to bring her home.

Carrie pulled into the driveway of the Harrington house, took a few deep breaths, then got out of her car and marched up the front steps before ringing the doorbell. Thankfully Steve was the one who answered the door, because Carrie honestly didn’t know how she would’ve reacted if Mr. Harrington had. Steve’s face instantly broke out in a smile, and he kissed her cheek before saying, “Hey, Babe. Come on in,” and ushering her inside. He brought her into the dining room, and there they were: The Harringtons. All the people Carrie heard whispering about them around town weren’t kidding, because she couldn’t remember the last time she felt as intimidated as she did at that moment.

Steve broke her out of her thoughts by saying, “Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, Carrie Brown. Carrie, these are my parents, Richard and Gloria,” and she felt him rub her back assuringly as he did, which made her smile before she said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” and reached out a hand to shake. Richard took it and said, “And you as well. You seem like a nice, proper young lady. I’m glad Steven wasn’t exaggerating,” which made Carrie’s eyebrows scrunch skeptically for a millisecond before moving on to Gloria.

She said, “Happy Birthday, Mrs. Harrington. These are for you,” and handed her the vase of flowers, which made a small smile come to Gloria’s face before she accepted it and said, “Aren’t you a dear? Thank you. I think I’ll put these on the table,” before setting the vase in the center of the dining table. As she did so, she said, “I thought your name sounded familiar when Steven was telling us about you. Do you know a Dorothy Brown by any chance?”, so Carrie replied, “That’s my mom, ma’am,” and Gloria’s smile turned a little too saccharine to be genuine before she said, “I thought so. You act very similarly to her.”

Carrie didn’t get the chance to ask her what she meant by that before Richard clapped his hands together the way Steve always does and said, “Well, dearest, I think it’s about time we get this birthday dinner started, don’t you?”, which made Gloria’s demeanor shift from slightly smug to skittish as she said, “Of course, darling. I’ll go check the roast and see if it’s ready. It should be, but our oven’s been acting up recently,” and borderline scampered into the kitchen (in heels and a skirt no less).

Carrie noticed Steve’s mouth set into a line and his eyes soften as he watched his mother go only for them to harden again as he looked back at his father, but she didn’t say anything as the two of them sat down at the table. Richard joined right after, and Carrie fiddled with her napkin ring as she went over her first interactions with the Harringtons. She thought it was weird that Richard naturally assumed Steve was talking her up into a “nice, proper young lady”, and she also thought it was weird that Gloria was cooking her own birthday dinner (not to mention the potential subtle dig at her mother), but she just brushed it off and decided to keep an open mind about the situation.

Carrie broke the somewhat awkward silence that had settled in the room by saying, “I’m gonna go see if Mrs. Harrington needs any help,” and scurrying into the kitchen before either of the men could say anything. She poked her head through the door to see Gloria frantically spooning what looked like a pot roast out of the Crock Pot and into a serving dish, so she cleared her throat and said, “Mrs. Harrington? Do you need any help?”, which made Gloria jump slightly before she turned to see Carrie in the doorway.

She visibly relaxed and said, “Oh, Carrie, dear. You startled me. Yes, thank you. If you could bring the salad and potatoes to the table and make up a pitcher of ice water while I finish up the roast, that would be wonderful,” so Carrie nodded and grabbed the two serving bowls she pointed out before bringing them into the dining room. She set them on the table, then went right back into the kitchen and dispensed ice from the fridge into the pitcher Gloria had set on the counter before filling it with water and bringing it to the table as well, Gloria coming right behind her with the pot roast.

The two women sat down, Carrie beside Steve and Gloria across the table from Richard, and dinner began. Richard and Gloria asked Carrie the obligatory “parents meeting their kid’s partner for the first time” questions like how long have she and Steve been together, what she was planning on going to college for, what she gets up to outside of school, all that jazz, and Carrie couldn’t help but notice that Richard continuously made backhanded comments about Steve while Gloria didn’t say one thing to attempt to defend her son or reprimand her husband.

When Carrie said she was planning on going to Ball State for an elementary education degree, Richard said, “That sounds wonderful. I’m sure Steven could’ve done something like that if he had kept his grades up,” and when she said that her younger brother had his first soccer game of the season the next day, he said, “Ah, what fun. I’m sure he’s managed to win plenty of games for his team. Unfortunately, our Tigers haven’t seen a championship game yet with Steven as their captain,” and all Gloria did was stare into her glass and keep her mouth shut, which was really starting to piss Carrie off.

Eventually, Richard turned the conversation into a “Point Out Every Flaw Steve Has Lecture”, and Carrie was fighting every urge she had to flip the table. He said, “Honestly, Steven, Carrie here has a solid plan for her future, and here you are frolicking around Hawkins without a care in the world. I didn’t raise you to be so careless with things like this. When I was your age I already had a job at my firm and was working my way up to partner. You could have been like me, Son. I’m very disappointed,” and that’s where Carrie lost it.

She stood up, slammed her hands on the table, and snapped, “Oh my god, SHUT UP!”, which made all three Harringtons look at her with shocked looks on their faces. Richard said, “I beg your pardon?!”, so Carrie said, “If you really think I’m just going to sit here and listen to you demean and condescend to one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met in my life, then you’ve got another thing coming! You’re disappointed in him because he didn’t turn out exactly like you? Good! I wouldn’t have gone near him with a ten-foot pole if he ended up a smarmy dickhead like you!”, which made Richard’s jaw drop open in indignation while Steve’s eyes widened in both shock and amazement.

Carrie continued, “And to elaborate on that, he couldn’t have turned out like you. How could he? Neither of you were around enough for him to glean ANY personality traits from you! He was nine years old, and the two of you would just leave him at home ALONE?! For WEEKS at a time?! I know for a FACT that you people are rich enough to have hired some sort of nanny or housekeeper, but NO! You left your NINE-YEAR-OLD SON in this mid-century modern haunted house BY HIMSELF, and just expected him to figure out how to feed himself?! Have you lost your goddamn minds?!?! When I was nine my mother wouldn’t have been caught DEAD leaving me by myself without at least asking Mrs. Henderson to check in on me every so often,” which made Richard’s jaw set angrily while Gloria started playing with her hands in her lap.

Carrie turned her attention to her and said, “And you! Just dropping everything to follow your asshole of a husband all over the place when he had work trips? I get it, Dick Harrington can’t keep it in his pants worth any type of damn when he’s left unsupervised, but come ON! Do you really have to lean into the textbook example of a ‘neglected and abused housewife’ so hard?!”, which made Gloria shift in her seat ashamedly and continue to avoid eye contact with everyone.

Carrie still wasn’t done, and she said, “And you never ONCE attempted to get Dicky Boy over here to lay off of Steve. I counted eight separate occasions tonight alone, so I don’t even want to THINK about all the times this has happened in his life. I love your son more than anything in the world, and if I have to, I will spend the rest of my life loving him in hopes that I can make up for all of the love he deserved but never got from either of you!”, which left the dining room in stunned silence. She composed herself, said, “Thank you for the meal, Mrs. Harrington, and happy birthday again. Steve, I’ll call you tomorrow,” turned on her heel, then walked out of the dining room, grabbed her coat off the hook, and went out the front door and to her car, not once looking back to see the scene she left behind her.

Carrie didn’t fully process what had happened until she was in the Wheelers’ driveway, and when she did, she clapped both hands over her mouth and whispered, “I can’t believe I said all that. To their faces!”, completely shocked at her own behavior. She brushed it off, then got out of her car and went up to the front door and knocked. She heard Mike yell through the door, “I’M GETTING IT, MOM!!!”, and when he opened the door, he said, “Carrie? What are you doing here? And why are you all dressed up?”, so she said, “I’ll explain later, is Nancy home?”, which made him look at her skeptically before saying, “Yeah? She’s in her room. Why?”, but she didn’t answer him and just walked inside and went up the stairs to Nancy’s room.

Carrie opened Nancy’s door to find her reading a book, and she was obviously very startled to see her because the book went flying across the room as a surprised yelp escaped her mouth. Nancy noticed the distraught look on Carrie’s face and said, “Oh, dear. Come sit,” while patting her bed, so Carrie closed the door behind her and flopped onto Nancy’s bed with a slightly exaggerated groan. Nancy said, “What happened?”, so Carrie said, “I went over to Steve’s for his mom’s birthday dinner, Steve’s dad would not stop belittling Steve and his mom did nothing to stop it, and I just lost it and said so many awful things to both of them before storming out,” which earned a cringe of sympathy from Nancy.

She said, “Yeah, I never met them, but from what I’ve heard around town they aren’t very pleasant,” so Carrie replied, “Gloria is nice enough. I’m pretty sure she was about to make some sort of remark about my mother before she was interrupted, but she seems okay for the most part. She’s just completely submissive to Dick, and I’d bet any money he’s a lot worse behind closed doors. The woman cooked her own birthday dinner, how messed up is that?!”, making Nancy’s jaw drop and Carrie say, “Right?!”

Nancy said, “Okay, glossing over that, what did you say to them? I’m sure it was deserved, but what did you say?”, so Carrie took a deep breath and said, “I said I was glad that Steve didn’t turn into a smarmy dickhead like his dad, I called his mother the textbook example of a neglected and abused housewife, I insinuated that Dick would cheat on Gloria if left unsupervised which is why she always goes with him on his work trips, and I implied that the reason Steve is nothing like his parents is because neither of them were around enough for him to have any idea what they’re like since they’ve been leaving him home alone for weeks at a time since he was nine,” Nancy’s eyes widening more and more with each and every insult Carrie named.

She said, “Wow. That’s intense. And you just… left after you said all that?”, and Carrie said, “Not before I said I’d spend the rest of my life loving Steve to make up for all the love he deserved but never received from them. Oh my god, I said I love Steve,” before sitting up and burying her face in her hands. Nancy rubbed her back and said, “You are right, though. Steve deserves so much more than what he’s been given, and I’m glad you’re there for him. I know I really messed him up, but I see the way he looks at you and I know he feels the same way about you,” which made Carrie lift her head and say, “You think so?”, earning Nancy’s reply of, “I know so,” before she wrapped her up in a super tight hug.

Carrie went back to her house after thanking Nancy for listening, and it started pouring rain as she pulled into her cul de sac. She almost thought she was hallucinating because she saw Steve’s BMW in her driveway and a person that could only have been Steve sitting on her front porch. She got out of her car and said, “Steve? What are you doing here?!”, while running to her porch to escape the torrential downpour, which made him stand up and say, “I had to talk to you!”, while bringing her over to her porch swing.

They both sat down, and Steve said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t things would go that far and you’d have to hear all of that, and-…,” which made Carrie cut him off and say, “Are you seriously apologizing for your dad calling you a disappointment at the dinner table?! Steve, that isn’t normal. And you shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of stuff!”, while grabbing his hand. He was quiet for a minute, then said, “What you said before you left… did you mean it?”, while playing with her hand, so Carrie made him look at her, then said, “I said it, and I meant it. Every word. I love you, Steve Harrington, and I will spend the rest of my life giving you every bit of love that you deserve,” before pulling him closer by the collar of his shirt and kissing him.

Steve smiled against her lips, and when she pulled away, he said, “So you’re okay with never being invited to my house for dinner again?”, which made her let out a cackle before saying, “If I ever end up in the same room as your dad again, he’ll be lucky if he leaves that room with his stupid smarmy face intact,” earning a laugh from Steve before he pulled her onto his lap and pressed his lips to hers again, feeling the most love he’s ever felt in a really long time as her hands crept up into his hair and her lips parted slightly against his in a giggle.

When he pulled his lips away, Carrie said, “How much would I have to convince you to come inside and cuddle with me while watching Grease?”, which made him scoff and say, “You don’t have to, I was gonna suggest it if you didn’t,” earning a nose scrunch from her as she ushered him inside out of the rain, fully prepared to start making good on her declaration from dinner to love the crap out of her beautiful, wonderful, dumbass, perfect Steve for as long as he’d let her.

———————————————————————

Stranger Things Taglist: @leossmoonn, @boldlyvoid, @stranger-nightmare, @erin-bo-berin

Let me know in the comments if you want to be added

[sitp-recs]

My top ten twenty thirty favorite reads of 2020

Happy New Year! I’ve never read as much as I did in 2020 so yes, here’s another totally biased reclist catered to my very personal needs but hey, maybe I’ll find some taste twins around to celebrate with me🥂

Drarry:

1. 9 ½ Days by @magpiefngrl (Explicit, WIP)

Drarry on the run! I hopelessly crave good war fics and this has been an amazing ride so far. I love the tense, dangerous atmosphere and the organic slow burn feat. safe houses, domestic bliss and life-affirming fumbling in the dark.

2. A Pain of Our Choosing by @lqtraintracks (Explicit, 6k)

Peak LQT geniality under 10k, this is one of the best 8th year fics I’ve read recently, with soft broken boys healing together and hot fucked up smut as a bonus. Cathartic and nuanced with a lovely hopeful ending.

3. Between Myth and Men by @slytherco (Explicit, 16k)

A creative and contemplative fic that packs so much under 16k. Gorgeous redemption arc based on a brilliant Veritaserum concept with its implications and complications. Quietly devastating, soft, evocative, and it hurts so good. Get your tissues box ready!

4. Born Slippy by @dracoladon (Explicit, 8k)

The best clubbing fic ever. I have never read Drarry like this: their drunk voices are smooth, hilarious, quick-witted, and I wanna live inside the superior sexual tension. Excellent build up, even more excellent payoff with hot panty kink. Just thinking about it makes me salivate

5. Can’t Fight the Moonlight by sunsetmog (Mature, 16k)

Whenever you feel like reading Mpreg, this is THE fic. Absolutely heartbreaking but in a gentle way? I love these complex characters, the light-hearted dialogue and the way this story captures a disorienting but realistic mix of wonder and terror about parenthood (she says, without having ever experienced it 😂).

6. Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon by @drarrytrash (Explicit, 36k)

The best case fic I’ve read this year, so fun and charming. I’m soft for the Drarry dynamics, the tentative slow burn, the easy banter, the gentle yearning. Kudos to a perfect Ron, great OCs and an intriguing plot. The atmosphere and characters are so addictive you’ll never want this fic to end.

7. Criminal by @the-sinking-ship (Explicit, 83k)

A rich and delightful ride with A+ character development and the sexiest slow burn, feat house hunting and drunk singing Take on Me. Get your heart ready to see a posh, snarky yet hopelessly smitten Draco transforming Harry’s lonely life into something colorful and full of hope. Gorgeous characterization and delicious smut as a bonus 👏🏻

8. Far From The Tree by aideomai (Explicit, 112k)

Showstopper fic. A power combo of unique plot and aideomai’s devastating writing, this fic is a triumph, and it aches so good. I’m still hungover over the gourmet world building, the fascinating love story and the sexiest teenage smut ever written - I’ll be forever thinking of this ride and all those stunning RoR scenes...

9. In the Dark by @bixgirl1 (Explicit, WIP)

There’s no fic like this one. I still remember my jaw dropping seeing the raw and depressing apocalyptic world Bix creates here - the tense and urgent atmosphere, the angsty comfort sex, the brilliant Hermione-Narcissa subplot! I’ve declared this fic one of my all-time faves since ch 1, I don’t care if it’s still in progress 🤷🏻‍♀️

10. Inside Your Mind by @lazywonderlvnd (Explicit, 36k)

A gorgeous and introspective 8th year love story following the post-war melancholy. This is not only an amazing character study on both Harry and Draco, it also explores nuanced D/s dynamics and shines light on Goyle’s character in a refreshing and heartfelt way.

11. Kinktober 2020 series by @bonesliketambourines (Explicit, 85k)

The ultimate gourmet selection of porn with feels, providing top notch wanking material fabulous character studies and nice twists on both popular and not-so-popular smut tropes. Hot, creative and satisfying new takes packing lots of backstory and emotion! All this written in one month, wtf 👏🏻

12. Life goes not backward by @shealwaysreads (Teen and Up, 9k)

Surprising no one I can’t worship my favorite comfort fic enough; this is the softest, gentlest take on the found family trope you’ll ever see, healing food for the heart and soul. Evocative writing and an unexpected yet wholesome ending full of warmth and hope.

13. Modern Love by @tackytigerfic (Explicit, 61k)

My favorite read this year, a master class in slow burn with Muggle Draco and a brilliant Harry POV full of heart and yearning, that will take your breath away. Come and feast on the softest pining and a wholesome get together (with religious smut, I kid you not!). A Tacky’s love letter to Drarry.

14. My Hands Are Of Your Colour by @ohdrarry (Explicit, 8k)

This fic was written for my (first ever) prompt for Sudsfest and it felt like the author gazed right into my soul. The dark atmosphere, the carefully crafted backstory, the cathartic and sensual comfort sex! This is a mature, elegant and evocative hitmen love story.

15. Nice Things by aideomai (Mature, 22k)

We’ve been blessed by aideomai in 2020. This poignant 8th year tale is one of my all-time favorite reads, quiet, bittersweet and so gently cathartic. Love to see everyone bonding and healing at the gatehouse, the soft domesticity and the aching and inevitable Drarry romance. A powerful story, a gorgeous love story.

16. Teeth by @amelior8or (Explicit, 6k)

I’ve reread this fic so many times and it never fails to take my breath away. So much emotion packed in just a few words! A delicious game of push and pull and scorching intense smut, with enthusiastic consent and gut-punching lines that go from rough to tender in a second and hit my heart real sweet.

17. The Courting by the Pureblood Who Only Has Five Milligrams of Romantic Intelligence and Thinks He’s Real Smooth by @cibeewastaken (Teen and Up, 19k)

This delightful courting story made my heart swell in a way I didn’t think was possible, with a precious devoted Draco gently pining over his oblivious “beloved”. The traditional ritual is so creative and full of heart I can’t even think about it without smiling. A perfect comfort fic, warm, hilarious and genuinely sweet.

18. The Thrill of the Chase Moves in Mysterious Ways by @veelawings (Explicit, 32k)

I am so utterly charmed by this incredibly fun, engaging and creative case fic - Noella did a fantastic job recreating Ms. Fisher’s 20s vibes and the Drarry dynamics are such a treat, sexy, snarky with delicious pining. Shout-out to the fabulous ass play in ch 2 as well 😳

19. (Un)wanted by @aibidil (Explicit, 36k)

One of the most interesting and heartbreaking portrayals of Harry’s generation post-war, an honest and melancholic story with a sensitive approach to Harry’s trauma. All characters are wonderfully complex and come together while exploring the Muggle world, which filled my heart with soft nostalgia.

20. Vortex by @xanthippe74 (Teen and Up, 20k)

My very favorite soulmate story, it gives Draco a wholesome redemption arc and a chance of finally being happy after finding his place in the post-war reality. The slow burn is organic, gentle and aching, with a super interesting subplot on social politics.

Other ships under the cut:

1. A Fine Foray into Fashionable Fellatio by @wellhalesbells (Draco/Ron, Explicit, 31k)

This fic is a triumph and simply the best Dron I’ve ever read, full of heart and character. Their voices and dynamics are unbelievably spot on and the slow burn is charming, witty, scorching hot and delightfully domestic! Brilliant fic. Do not read if you’re not ready to fall into this ship.

2. Beneath a Foreign Moon by @lqtraintracks (Harry/Teddy, Explicit, 2.7k)

A quiet and fascinating shortfic exploring the student/professor taboo alongside the age gap. I’m completely obsessed with this darker take on Harry, on how he unapologetically takes what Teddy so willingly gives. A brilliant study on power dynamics and delicious smut as per LQT’s usual brand.

3. Best Man by Farbautidottir (Harry/Scorpius, Explicit, 13k)

Such a charming fic, one of the most romantic takes I’ve seen on this pairing! I love the idea of Harry and Scorp falling in love while getting things ready for Albus’ big day. The slow burn is gentle and the wedding scene is so so great - it filled me with longing and nostalgia.

4. Black Forest by bigblackdog, @ruinsplume (Harry/Sirius/Remus, Explicit, 12k)

Once again they blow my mind with a luscious and devastating approach to this triad. Harry’s POV makes my heart ache - the sexual tension is exquisite and shows how far his childhood trauma goes, and how only Sirius and Remus can give him the comfort of feeling wanted and loved. Genius and breathtaking.

5. Hopelessly Devoted To You by @writcraft (Harry/George, Explicit, 10k)

I don’t usually see George in fic so this was the most wonderful treat! A gentle love story with them connecting over musicals, mourning Fred and finding each other along the way. I love how beautifully the dialogue flows and how comfortable they are with each other.

6. In My Mind, Body and Soul by tamlane (Lily Luna/Michael Corner, Explicit, 5k)

Despite loving age gap ships, I don’t think I’d ever read this ship if it wasn’t for the intriguing concept and fabulous writing. The characters dynamics are so gripping and the atmosphere is sensual, tense and unpredictable. Not even a kiss, yet this had me shaking in anticipation.

7. Pansy, Rows, and Mutual Wanking by @violetclarity (Pansy/Hermione, Explicit, 27k)

This was my first Pansmione fic ever, and it got me completely sold on this ship. A fantastic slow burn with brilliant character development and super hot smut. Hermione’s arc is one of the best I’ve ever seen, her self-discovery journey painfully earned and moving.

8. Rebel Rebel by @teacup-tai (Sirius/Remus, Explicit, 6k)

For someone who’s not particularly into this ship, Tai got me wrapped around her finger. Sirius’ POV is gorgeous and his journey back to Remus gave me major Little Compton Street feels (a major influence here). A magical and engaging read, full of joyful wonder for life.

9. testosterone (sounds like a spell) by pauraque (Hannah/Justin, Explicit, 8k)

I don’t think I’d ever read this ship if not by this author and I’m glad I did because this gave me goosebumps. Connecting with the characters was so easy - I fell in love with trans Justin, his journey and his lasting friendship with Hannah. Bonus points for the scorching hot yet delicate smut, honest and full of understanding.

10. Where Silence Has Come to Lick Its Wounds by @p1013 (Harry/Ron/Hermione, Explicit, 2.6k)

All hail the threesome queen @p1013. This fic blew up my mind and made me fall in love with this Triad. It has a gentle, intimate atmosphere and gives off the perfect “comfort sex” vibes, soft, safe and familiar. Absolutely stunning.

[heavensickness]

heyyyy i am here to ask abt your oc, i think she's so interesting! i read your posts about her and she seems very understanding and kind, but what would get her angry in a relationship?? i wanna learn angsty details lol! only if you are comfortable with it ofc

YEEEEEEESSSS i LOVE asks abt her lmao! before making her, when asked abt my previous OCs, i would get really awkward and wouldn't be able to explain them but it's different with her. i think that's because i put a lot of details into her personality and backstory.

Her biggest issue is that she is terrified of being seen as "useless" to her most loved person and being abandoned by them. She is normally a feisty person (though she is much more calm now) but when it comes to her favorite person, she can't just protect herself or get angry when she is supposed to get angry, because the fear of not being loved anymore is greater than anything else. her self-confidence in that sense is very low and self-detrimental, which kind of reminds me of Quest in some aspects but not entirely. anyway, this is why she put up with societyboy for years, and finally being able to dump his ass for once and all was one of the hardest and most brave decisions she's made. and this is why i think that a relationship with nightowl or xyx could either be the dream relationship or a NIGHTMARE depending on their character development with no in-between possibilities, because her protection mechanism is to fawn.

To get her ANGRY to the point that she completely forgets about her understanding nature and all the years she's spent on self-control though; reminding her of the times where she used random hook-ups and other things she's done to cope in the past to humiliate/hurt her will enrage her. Or just imply the 0.0000000001% possibility that she might be cheating on you or even that she might be interested in someone else other than you, and you can say goodbye to her forever because she will take it so personally. So you think that she is a slut? That she is incapable of being loyal, and goes around fucking anyone and everyone? Even though you didn't mean that AT ALL she will take it that way because of her own complex about her younger self.

This might be surprising considering her personality, but she reacts rather quiet to being cheated on since she is used to it and like i said before, it only makes her sad rather than angry because of her low self-worth. In other words, the implication that SHE is the cheating one instead of being cheated on makes her more furious.

[plisuu]

Prompt information for @dadrunkwriting, among other things :)

Please send the full prompt (not just a number!) and pairing or character in your ask!

This Week:

Connor x Solas: 101 Ways to Say “I Love You” With Actions For the Damaged Hand Holding Pillow Talk Reasons to Cup a Face Unreal Unearth Yearning - NSFW Subtle Smut

Characters and Pairings:

My OCs:

Connor Trevelyan - Inquisitor, ex-templar, ex-tranquil, and mage. Connor is a generally stoic individual with a strong sense of duty. He has fairly anti-templar views that a re muddled by his Chantry upbringing. He's a bit dry, a bit grumpy, full of angst and internal conflict, and a total softie under all the armor. Champion spec. Close friends with Solas, Vivienne, Josephine, and Cole. Cullen rivalry/romance, Solas romance. Hinge/V poly. ㅤㅤ ㅤ Revalas Lavellan - Tal Vashoth and ex Ben-Hassarath, Revalas was raised under the Qun from infancy. After fleeing Seheron in a crisis of identity, he ended up in the Free Marches where he joined clan Lavellan and fully adopted Dalish beliefs. He works for the Inquisition as an agent under Leliana and never seems to take anything seriously. Reaver spec. Friends with the Chargers and Harding. Kitchen table poly.

Main OC Pairings:

Connor x Cullen - twin-flame, awkward idiots, rivals to begrudging co-workers to friends to lovers to exes to friends to lovers Connor x Solas - queerplatonic/romantic, deep emotional intimacy Connor x Bull - FWBs, kink-centric dynamic, "it's so complicated they outright refuse to think about the implications of their feelings" (it's not complicated, they're just stubborn) - Revalas x Bull - Two Tal-Vashoth walk into a bar but the bar is romantic feelings Revalas x Dorian - They're in looOOoOOoOoOooooove xoxo Revalas x Krem x Harding - If they're gonna get stuck on missions together all the time they may as well kiss about it

Other Pairings:

Cassandra x Solas Garrett Hawke x Cullen Garrett Hawke x Varric

Prompt Masterlist:

DA Inspired:

Codex Entry prompts DA Inspired Dialogue prompts

Angst:

Angsty Poem Prompts Betrayal One-liners Dash of Angst Dialogue Dramatic and Protective Emotionally Charged For the Damaged Angst prompts Hidden Injury prompts Hit ‘Em Where it Hurts Angst Prompts I Said Sorry Patching Up Wounds Protective prompts Secrets prompts Suspense prompts Taunting

Fluff/Comfort/Love:

100 Compliments 100 Different Kisses 101 Ways to Say “I Love You” With Actions 21 I love You's Budding Romance Domestic Fluff prompts Enemies to Friends to Lovers Fluffy Dialogue prompts F. Scott Fitzgerald prompts Hand in Hand Hands and Touch Hand Holding Height-Difference prompts Intimacy prompts Little Domestic prompts Love Confessions More Kisses Noticing/Being Noticed Oblivious Idiots in Love Physical Intimacy Pillow Talk Pining prompts Reasons to Cup a Face Soft & Sweet Sentence Starters Super Soft Intimacy Touches (both sfw & nsfw) Touching What are We Will They, Won’t They Yearning

Smut:

100 Smut prompts NSFW prompts Subtle Smut

Whump (blanket tw: torture, abuse):

101 Quick Whump Prompts 30 Very Specific Whump Prompts Angry Whumpee Difficult Recovery Prompts Make Them Kneel (tw: graphic violence) Rethink What They Said Quotes Tarot Inspired

Misc. Collections:

200 Writing prompts Hozier Lyrics Hozier Lyrics (Unreal Unearth) Micro-story starters Non-Verbal Prompts Random Sentence Starters A list of a list of prompts

[monocytogenes]

Interview with a Fic Writer

Tagged by @sleepswithvillains :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Apparently I'm up to 12 at this point lol

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 14554 (Think they're all one shots, though I do currently have something longer I'm working on)

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? So, I wrote Making Use as a fic prompt response not long after The Force Awakens came out, and I think it must've been one of a small number of Reyux fics at that time because that thing TOOK OFF. It's got 441 kudos on it and still accumulates some here and there periodically. Like, I don't even like it that much but I'm glad it makes people happy, haha.

That's followed by A Certain Comfort (Phasma/Hux, 127) and a few Batman universe fics (Locard's Principle, 86; Metaphorically, 76; Mistakes, 70.)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yeah, I try to respond to all of my commenters, though I haven't always in the past. If they leave something really excited sometimes I let it sit for a bit so I can properly match their energy.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I write a lot of angsty stuff but don't usually leave it on that note. Looking at ending alone, probably Mistakes; it's a Crane/Harley fic I wrote some years back about her coming to stay with him while still in an abusive relationship with Joker. Lots of unrequited pining there; very hurt/no comfort.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? ...This is making me realize that I don't write a lot of fics that end happily vs. things have slightly improved, I guess. I suppose Better to Be Wrecked, my SW/Quinn fic, is technically rather optimistic because it's basically a meditation on him contemplating suicide over the years and then getting treated mercifully by the woman he loves at the end, haha. Some of the stuff I wrote for Gotham (before that show went off the rails, woof) is kind of positive in outlook too.

7. Do you write crossovers? Nah, I'm more into exploring characters in the context of their own settings.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Nah, thankfully.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I've done text RP for years, and written a fair amount of smut collaboratively, but up until more recently I haven't really considered putting it into fic, lol (as @nirikeehan is wont to say--be the smut you want to see in the world!) There's the implication of it in Better to Be Wrecked and I've got something more explicit with that ship in my WIPs at the moment.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No. Fwiw, if you want to reference my OCs or worldbuilding stuff or whatever, feel free to ask.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? Don't think so. Someone recorded a read of Mistakes once, which was pretty cool.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope, but I've beta'd for Niri and I wrote a scene that's part of the backstory of her fic The Force's Will (which like, if you like Hux being smart and calculating and capable, Reylo, Poe being a badass, or at all want a take on the future after TLJ that's infinitely better than whatever the hell TROS was--read it. It's great.)

13. What’s your all time favourite ship? I can never pick one favorite, lol--honestly it's easier for me to express what ships I really don't like. For instance, having spent a lot of time in the fandom for the new trilogy, I really have zero interest in Kylux--I see their relationship as more of a complicated platonic/vaguely familial thing. (Weirdly, the ship I was probably most into with Hux was when I RPed him with a younger Leia, because they were a really incredible intellectual match for each other. I can also get behind several m/f ships with him and Hux/Poe, haha.)

I'm currently neck-deep in SWTOR and Quinn/SW is sitting in my 'favorite' slot right now, lol.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will? I have a lot of WIPs kicking around for Quinn/SW that I may or may not finish but I'd like to. There's definitely a lot of things I've got from different fandoms that I start and never complete, and I'm trying to get better about that.

15. What are your writing strengths? /checks the comments on my stuff, lol

I've been told I'm good at characterization (which like, good, because when I get into a character I'm inundating poor Niri with paragraphs of speculation about their inner lives, lol.) Honestly, the most treasured comment I got back when I was doing online RP was when I was playing a setting-native OC and was told 'he's so well-developed that I keep forgetting he's not actually part of canon'. Especially as someone who remembers a time when OCs were constantly being accused of being Mary Sues or whatever, that meant a lot.

I also think I'm pretty good at connecting ideas through the course of a fic; in one shots, I love starting with a simple notion (sometimes from the first line, e.g. "Hux was not afraid of him"; "Quinn had grown accustomed to contemplating his own death") and deconstructing/reconstructing it in different ways. A lot of the fics that influenced me early on were highly thematic and downright lyrical, so that influenced my writing quite a bit.

16. What are your writing weaknesses? As I've been writing a longer, more actiony WIP lately (my upcoming Imperial Agent fic), I've been struggling at times to find a good balance in terms of how descriptive I want to be--like, where to really move the action and where to let the characters talk and breathe. The plot's hashed out; it's just a matter of figuring out how to get from A to B, scene to scene, in part because I haven't written something super lengthy in years.

I get really particular and perfectionistic with dialogue too, sometimes; if you struggle with that as well, I find that voice-acting it to myself helps (like, literally when proofing that fic I've been doing the British accents to get the cadence right; sometimes I crack myself up when they're just perfectly sassy.)

And, you know, actually finishing stuff is a challenge, lol.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I think if it's an actual language and you're not fluent, it's best to run it past someone who is since Google Translate is Not Great much of the time. Usually I'll just indicate that the characters are speaking another language and try to represent when something comes up that doesn't have an English equivalent; you don't want to distract the reader to the point that they have to dig for footnotes but you also don't want to totally erase some of that contextual information.

I've seen this done well with an untranslatable word here or there (that, again, you can mostly deduce from context clues) and with short, subtle remarks that a character is using a familiar form of address or something. And yeah, in sci fi/fantasy stuff, I'll either do those things or repurpose slang on occasion to keep the immersion going (e.g. my Star Wars characters say the likes of 'stars forbid' or 'bantha shit' a lot as a 'they're from a different place with different belief systems' nod.)

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Lol I was writing like, shitty Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic back in elementary school and such so I guess that counts? My earliest stuff on ao3 is Batman fic; I got super into the Nolan movies years back and kind of entered the larger fandom from there.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet, but want to? Well, I've got like two different unfinished projects with Imperial Agent/Shara Jenn so I hope to grace the world with those two, lol. (She's so gooooood.)

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? There's a special place in my heart for The Incarnation of Failure. Like, there's no romance in it, it doesn't make my top 5 for hits or kudos, but it's effectively a humanizing love letter to Hux and Phasma and the First Order in general in the aftermath of TFA. I'm still sad about how their potential was squandered by the canon, but in my own mind, this fic is part of my canon.

[buckysrighthanddoll]

Envy

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader, Bucky Barnes x Savannah (OC)

Warnings: envy, jealousy, angsty implications, sexual implications (nothing actually described), fluff of course :)

A/N: So I’m fully aware that I haven’t been active on my blogs recently, and I’m sorry for that. Since the beginning of quarantine, I’ve been in a very rough family situation and had to move houses as a result. This one-shot will (hopefully) be the start of a series on the seven deadly sins; please give feedback and let me know what y’all think!

You weren’t new to the team. It was now 2018 and you were part of the original Avengers--you had fought in the Battle of New York and against Ultron. People have come and gone and died and retired; it was rarer to find someone who stayed and it was even rarer to attach to someone who was on the team.

Bucky Barnes was that rare, rare exception.

When he came along, your thoughts raced a million miles a minute. He was the Winter Soldier, after all, and you didn’t know how his recovery process was going to come along. You met him when he was in Romania--you fought him for a brief moment before he realized that you and Steve weren’t the bad guys, actually.

It was Steve’s idea to have you stay in Wakanda with him as sort of a caretaker. You had close contact with the team, even though you and Tony weren’t on the best of terms after the Accords, but you were also a hut away from Bucky. It was here where you fell for each other. Seeing him in the fragile yet strong state, the intimate moments as you both stared up at the stars, the kindred walks through the woods, it all made you fall.

Luck would have it that he fell twice as hard. You were caring and compassionate and, most importantly, patient and understanding. Growth was not linear, and you knew that. Being there for Bucky sometimes meant leaving him to his own business, but it also sometimes meant holding him while he sobs after having another nightmare.

You and Bucky had been an official couple for two years and five days. There were definite ups and downs to the relationship--Bucky was the most sincere and thoughtful man you had ever loved, but when the two of you fought, it was like hell on Earth. It could last a few hours or even a few weeks (three weeks, six days, and twenty-one hours was the current record). But, despite having a couple of massive fallouts and many, many bickers over safety during missions, you were a strong couple.

Never in the last two years had you been insecure, until she showed up. Her name was Savannah, and she was stunning in every sense of the word. Shiny chestnut hair, striking grey eyes, the perfect face, an even better body, the laugh that lit up the whole room--for fuck’s sake, even her powers were beautiful with her. She could shoot fire and water from her hands, but she did it in the way that made her seem elegant and graceful and--ugh.

Besides that, everybody on the team adored her. Steve had a crush on her, and you were pretty sure Sam did, too. Hell, even Nat seemed interested in her. The world seemed to revolve around her, and she knew that. And, lately, it seems like James Buchanan Barnes was wrapped around her perfect finger.

The insecurity started when she first moved in. Savannah was a late riser in comparison to most of the team, but that didn’t stop her from being so damn beautiful. During team breakfast, she came in twenty minutes after everybody else had sat down in a loose t-shirt and the shortest pair of shorts to ever exist on earth, and her hair was pulled back messily into a bun. Even without makeup, she was stunning.

She sat right next to Bucky with a plate half-full of food--part of her diet plan to stay in shape, you think she said (you looked at your now empty plate and couldn’t help but feel that perhaps you should also watch what you’re eating). She struck a conversation with him, and they held it for the entire meal. Rolling your eyes and making eye contact with Sam, you stood up and took your plate to the kitchen before getting down to the gym.

“New girl got your panties in a twist?” Sam asked a few minutes later. You tore your attention away from the punching bag and faced him, a scoff leaving your lips.

“Guess so.”

“You ain’t gotta be jealous,” He said, taking your hands. He takes a glove off of one of them. “Bucky loves you more than he loves his damn cereal in the morning.”

That earned a laugh from you.

You took off the other glove, and he motioned to the mat in a silent request to spar. You both worked out, and he took you down a couple of times before you were able to get the upper hand on him.

“That’s my baby,” Bucky sang as he entered the room. Your head turned toward him, looking like a Greek god in a tight shirt and workout shorts. Your eyes also caught Savannah walking in with him, but you tried your best to ignore her. “Wilson has nothing on you, sweetheart,” He adds as he comes to the edge of the mat.

“I took her down three times before you waltzed your metal ass in here,” Sam scoffed. You laughed and got up, going to the edge of the mat where your boyfriend was. He puts his hands on your hips and you reach for the back of his neck to pull him into a chaste kiss.

“You wanna go?” He asked you, nudging his head toward the mat. “I was gonna train Savannah, but I really want to lay some moves on you,” He smiles, wiggling his brows slightly.

“Oh my god, you are such a perv,” You joked, backing up to the center of the mat. “Come on, baby, show me what you got.”

It was a light spar, especially in comparison to how you normally fought each other. It was full of laughs and teasing moments, like right now. He had you pinned down, his hands wrapped around your wrists and his knees on either side of you. You glanced between his lips and eyes, and you caught him leaning in, but at the last second you flipped him over and pinned him down. He gave you a shocked look, but you just smiled up at him.

Of course, he didn’t let you win. He flipped you back over, but this time so that your face was planted against the mat. He holds your wrists behind your back and straddles your thighs, making you laugh. “Well, this reminds me of something,” You remarked.

“Dude, gross,” Sam said. Bucky got off of you and offered you a hand up, which you gladly took. “Okay, we gotta get this girl started. How about you fight (Y/N) first, Savannah?” Sam suggested. She nods her head and smiles cockily, stepping onto the mat. “No powers this time,” He tosses in.

The two of you go in circles for a moment, waiting to see who’s going to strike first. She looked confident, but you were a trained fighter in S.H.I.E.L.D., top of the recruits, and nearly beating out every single agent of experience. She had nothing on your physical fighting skills.

“You gonna fight me or are you just gonna stand there?” She taunted.

“Taunting gets you nowhere, dollface,” You smirked. You continued in another half-circle before she lunges. It was an easy dodge, just a simple side-step and kick, and she was thrown off balance. Her arms fly out to the sides to catch her balance, so you grabbed one and used it as leverage to flip her over you. Once she was on the ground, you straddled her and pretended to snap her neck, which indicated the end of the first spar. “Don’t ever let your emotions get the best of you in a fight,” You told her, getting up.

This continues for a couple more rounds, each time she gets her ass handed to her, but she does get better. Sam left by the time you both stopped fighting.

“Can’t I fight Bucky? Most of our opponents are male,” She asks, smirking slightly. It was abundantly obvious that she had a distaste for you, but it was completely reciprocated, so you weren’t bothered.

You and Bucky switch places, and she’s not doing well at all, even when Bucky goes easy on her. You could tell that she was faking being bad at fighting; she made it clear every time Bucky pinned her or straddled her and she gave him ‘the look’.

“Okay, let’s be done. I’ll get Steve to train you,” Bucky says, stepping off the mat. He gives you a side hug and a kiss to the cheek, eliciting a smile. “Do you wanna shower with me?” He asks. “We’re both pretty sweaty.”

You nod your head, choosing to ignore the death stare that Savannah was giving you.

_____

After that, you catch her trying to go after Bucky a little more. She started waking up at the same time as him and drinking coffee with him in the kitchen, she asked Tony to be placed on missions with him, she made it a point to not include you in conversations with him.

The worst part was that Bucky didn’t stop her.

It wasn’t like he was adoring the attention that he was getting from the both of you, but he most certainly wasn’t hating it, either. It almost felt like he was falling for her--you knew the signs, after all.

His laugh was a little more bubbly, his voice was a little deeper, and the body language conveyed that he was into the conversations they were having. It made your blood boil, and she knew it.

Eventually, you decided that you weren’t going to try to stop them from doing what they wanted. If he wanted to be with her, then so be it. All you had ever wanted for Bucky was for him to be happy--maybe you just didn’t make him happy anymore.

You compared yourself to her so much that any thought about you was straight negativity. You thought that you weren’t as pretty as her, and that your smile wasn’t as bright, and that she had a curvier body than yours, and that she was always so interesting and bubbly. You believed you were so boring by contrast--no powers, no unique features that you could see.

Just bland, boring, you.

“(Y/N), you good?” Steve asked, knocking on your door one day. Bucky was in the living room with Savannah and the rest of the team having a movie night, and she was sitting so unbearably close to him that you became nauseous and told him that you were just going to go to sleep.

Steve came into the room and sat on the bed beside you, making you look at him. “I’m fine,” You lied. You knew it was a lie. He knew it was a lie.

“It’s Savannah, isn’t it?” He asked.

You sighed and closed your laptop before looking back up at him. “Do you think he wants to be with her?” You asked sincerely.

“No,” Steve answers. “I think he’s happy to have a new friend, but he loves you more than he loves--”

“If you say ‘cereal in the morning’ I will chemically castrate you,” You threatened. He laughs and shakes his head.

“You know how he talks about his service days a lot? Any chance he gets, he’s talking about the good ‘ole days when he was actually charming and young?”

“Yeah, he talks about it for hours on end.”

“When he became the Winter Soldier, he didn’t feel human anymore. He thought with every fiber of his body that he was a monster and sub-human. He didn’t think he deserved to live because of all the things HYDRA made him do. But when you became official, and even to this day, he talks about you the way he talks about his service days--with pride and love. He told me that nobody can make him feel as loved and as human as you do,” Steve explains.

“But that doesn’t mean that other people can’t make him feel the same way. He’s an easy person to fall for--I’m not the only one who’s willing to sacrifice anything for him. What if she makes him happier than I do? Or what if he realizes that she’s so interesting and perfect and I’m just me.”

“Do you really think that?” Bucky’s voice asks. You snap your head up to the doorway in shock, where Bucky stood with a sweater. Steve awkwardly stands up and leaves the room, patting his best friend on the back on the way out. Bucky closes the door behind him and kneels next to you on the bed. “Sweetheart, do you really think that I’m into her?”

“It seems kind of obvious, Buck,” you sigh. “I get it. Everybody else sees that she’s beautiful and has an amazing personality. She’s amazing, and if you want her, go for her.”

“No,” Bucky says. His voice is full of emotion, stern and unwavering yet somehow soft. “(Y/N), I love you. You’re the one who has seen me at my best and my worst. You’re the one who makes me smile when I’m sad, who brings me back to reality when I’m having flashbacks and nightmares, the one who wipes my tears. You’re the one I want to marry someday and buy a house with and start a family with--whether that’s fur children, actual children, or just us, it doesn’t matter.”

“Bucky--”

“Steve was right. You make me feel human. Why are you jealous of her?”

You sighed heavily and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. “You smile so much with her, and you’re always together, and--”

“She makes me uncomfortable,” Bucky interjects. He gives a small laugh before he continues. “She’s clingy and too touchy and doesn’t know when I want to be left alone and in the moments I don’t want to be alone, she thinks that I want to be around her when I actually just want to be around you. She talks about nothing except herself and her family, and won’t let me talk about any issues I’m having. She tried to get me to kiss her tonight, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting that shit slide.”

“She did?” You asked. Bucky nodded in confirmation, which made you livid. You stood up and tried to get past him, but he wouldn’t let you. “I’m gonna beat her ass,” You sneered.

“No, baby, I’ve got it covered. I got up and grabbed your favorite sweater of mine from my room, threw it in the drier so it’s warm, and I fully intend on holding you and making sure you know that I love you. I already texted everybody in the team and asked them to never put her on missions with me or let her try to even talk to me.”

“You’re serious?”

“Dead serious, sweetheart,” Bucky smiles. He grabs the hem of your shirt and pulls it up and over your head, handing you his sweater to put on. It’s warm and it smells like him and holy shit you’re so in love. “Nothing comes between me and my baby.”

“God, you are so cheesy,” You laughed.

Bucky stands up and gets into bed with you, pulling the comforter over the both of you and pulling you into him. “You don’t have to be jealous, (Y/N/N). It’s always gonna be us.”

“Do you think I’m boring?”

“Absolutely not,” He answers. “I think that you are a perfect combination of wild and tame. You know when to have fun and laugh, but you also know how to be serious when need be. And the way you can break a man’s neck between your thighs? That’s the hottest thing I have ever witnessed.”

You bust out laughing but hold him even closer. “I love you, baby. Can we get some sleep?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” He says. He asks FRIDAY to turn off the lights and lock the door, and then he kisses your forehead before you both drift off to sleep.

_____

The next day, you actually feel rested, even though you woke up at 0430 with him (a rare occurrence nowadays). He asks if you want to go on a run with him, to which you say okay. It takes all of ten minutes for the both of you to get dressed and brush your hair and teeth.

You go out to the kitchen to grab waters for you and Bucky. Usually, nobody else is up at this hour besides Steve (who was in his room getting ready for his run as well), but today, Savannah was there as well.

“You running with us, too?” She asked, turning around with a pep in her step. Her hair bounced in its ponytail, and she looks absolutely perfect in her leggings and sports bra. You felt like you weren’t nearly as pretty in your t-shirt and sweats.

“Yeah,” You replied, trying to keep a friendly voice as you searched for the bottles you, Steve, and Bucky typically use. You find them and fill them.

“He said last week that I could join him whenever I wanted. Hope that’s okay?” She says. It’s almost like she’s testing to make sure you weren’t the jealous girlfriend.

“I don’t care,” You shrugged. “Hell, I wish the entire team would go on morning jogs.”

“Listen, I don’t want to ruin your relationship--you guys are really cute together--but I think you should know that he kissed me last night.”

You shrugged your shoulders and leaned against the counter. “If you were really concerned about not ruining my relationship, you wouldn’t try to lay the moves on him as if you’re Michael Jackson. You’re aware he’s got a girl, but that doesn’t seem to matter to you,” You responded. Your voice was shockingly calm despite how envious of her you were.

“But--”

“But nothing,” You interjected. “Not only that, but I’m not concerned about you ruining our relationship. We trust each other and we’re open about our communication. You’re not a concern to us,” You added.

“Damn straight, sweetheart,” Bucky said as he and Steve walked into the kitchen. He plants a kiss on my cheek and grabs the water bottle from me, leaning next to me on the counter. “I told you last night that I wasn’t interested. Trying to get a rise out of (Y/N) won’t work because she’s one of the most rational and open people I know.”

Savannah got so upset that steam started rolling off of her, literally. Seemed there were some downsides to being enhanced, you assumed.

“Listen, we’re sure you’ll do great on missions,” Steve said, grabbing his bottle from you. “But I don’t appreciate people who try to get between Bucky and (Y/N). Keep that in mind,” He says sternly.

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins. It’s defined as a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, quality, or luck. You most certainly felt that stupid feeling more than you cared to admit, but that was okay. Communication and being open could fix a vast majority of problems that arise. You were lucky, luckier than Savannah could ever be because you had a partner that was not afraid to talk to you about his problems; even better, he wasn’t scared to listen to your problems.

Bucky was rare, but the love you shared with him was one-of-a-kind.

[kaesaaurelia]

master whumptober 2020 list

Both for my own sanity and because I occasionally get new people dropping by, here are my 2020 planned Whumptober plotlines.  All of these are Good Omens, and they all have happy or hopeful endings, except for the last one, “bookends,” which are two self-contained but connected angsty stories, rather than one storyline.  I reserve the right to change everything if I have a better idea.

There are minor spoilers here, in that future days and themes are listed!

heavenly interrogation completed!  [ao3 link] (Aziraphale/Crowley and Michael/Ligur; mostly Crowley whump.  A lot of physical hurt/comfort and some emotional hurt/comfort.  Set in 1066.)

an agent of the adversary Day One, “Let’s Hang Out Sometime” (waking up restrained, shackled); Crowley whump.

the fun kind of hate Day Three, “My Way or the Highway” (manhandled, forced to their knees); Ligur... whump?  Explicit Michael/Ligur scene, femdom, painplay, consensual but not particularly nice relationship.

not exactly an injury Day Seven, “I’ve Got You” (enemy to caretaker); Crowley is hurt, Aziraphale comforts.  Explicit Aziraphale/Crowley scene, roleplaying/in danger of being caught.

the least dangerous game Day Seventeen, “I Did Not See That Coming” (wrongfully accused); Crowley whump.

the devil’s own luck Day Twenty, “Toto, I Have A Feeling We’re Not in Kansas Anymore” (lost, field medicine, medieval); Crowley is hurt, Aziraphale comforts.

something more serious Day Twenty-Three, “What’s a Whumpee Gotta Do to Get Some Sleep Around Here?” (exhaustion); Crowley is physically hurt and Aziraphale heals him, but also Aziraphale is worried and Crowley reassures him.  Explicit Aziraphale/Crowley scene.

2020 satanic cultists completed!  [ao3 link] (Aziraphale/Crowley; both are whumped.  Set in 2020.)

aside from the kidnapping and the satanism Day Two, “In the Hands of the Enemy” (kidnapped, collars); Aziraphale whump.  Post-Lockdown video/set in actual 2020.

i’m just here for the cult stuff Day Nine, “For the Greater Good” (ritual sacrifice); Crowley whump.

a dull knife Day Ten, “They Look So Pretty When They Bleed” (blood loss); Aziraphale whump.

as a treat Day Sixteen, “A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” (hallucinations); mutual whump.

not himself Day Twenty-One, "I Don’t Feel So Well”; Aziraphale whump.  Implied sexual content, implied dubious consent, implied xeno, threat of vore.

overpowering urge Day Twenty-Five, “I Think I’ll Just Collapse Right Here, Thanks” (disorientation); Aziraphale whump.  Sexual content, sex pollen/dubious consent, xeno, threat of vore.

nature is healing Day Twenty-Eight, “Such Wow.  Very Normal.  Many Oops.” (accidents, hunting season); no one is really whumped but Aziraphale is worn out from his ordeal.  Allusion to sexual content and xeno, implication of sex pollen, implication of offscreen violence.

ouroboros Day Thirty-Two, “Kaesa Can Write A Little Monsterfucking, As A Treat”; no whump, just sex pollen-y xeno.  Explicit.

the tower of babel completed!  [ao3 link] (Aziraphale/Crowley; also featuring the Disposable Demons, and Nisroc, a demon OC I wrote about last Whumptober.  Female-presenting Crowley -- although she’s still called Crawly at this point.  Mostly Aziraphale whump.  Set in Biblical antiquity.)

the tower Day Four, "Running Out of Time” (collapsed building, buried alive); Aziraphale whump.  Large-scale/citywide disaster.

let us go down and there confound their language Day Five, "Where Do You Think You’re Going?” (rescue, failed escape); Aziraphale whump.  Large-scale/citywide disaster, potentially screenreader-inaccessible formatting.

charades Day Eight, "Where Did Everybody Go?” (abandoned); Aziraphale whump; grief.

deals and contracts and paperwork fiddle faddle Day Eleven, “Psych 101″ (defiance); Aziraphale whump and also Nisroc whump.  Discussion of pregnancy.

signs and symbols Day Twelve, “I Think I’ve Broken Something” (broken trust); Aziraphale whump.

fire escape Day Fourteen, “Is Something Burning?” (fire); Aziraphale whump.  Body horror, being burned alive.

blackout Day Twenty-Four, “You’re Not Making Any Sense” (blindfolded, sensory deprivation); Aziraphale whump.

hellquake Day Twenty-Seven, “OK, Who Had Natural Disasters On Their 2020 Bingo Card?” (earthquake, power outage); mutual whump, I think.

fine quality copper ingots Day Twenty-Nine, "I Think I Need A Doctor” (reluctant bedrest); mutual hurt/comfort, with a cute fluffy post-canon ending. possession completed!  [ao3 link] (Aziraphale/Crowley; also featuring Beelzebub.  Mostly Aziraphale whump; some Crowley whump.  Set post-canon.)

strange symptoms Day Six, "Please” (get it out); Aziraphale whump.  Body horror, illness, brief respiratory distress, flies.

you catch more flies with vinegar Day Thirteen, "Breathe In Breathe Out”; Aziraphale whump.  Flies, body horror, respiratory distress, vomiting.

backseat driver Day Fifteen, “Into the Unknown” (possession); Aziraphale whump.

impostor Day Eighteen, “Panic! At the Disco” (paranoia); Crowley angst.

one of the classic blunders Day Twenty-Two, “Do These Tacos Taste Funny to You?” (poisoned, drugged); Crowley whump.

how get rid of flies Day Twenty-Six, “If You Thought the Head Trauma Was Bad...”; Crowley whump.

the old beelzebub bait and switch Day Thirty, “Now Where Did That Come From?” (ignoring an injury, wound reveal); Crowley whump, happy ending.

bookends completed! (Crowley + OC friendship-and-betrayal backstory, and Satan/Crowley after the War in Heaven) here’s your shining sword and spear [ao3 link] Day Nineteen, “Broken Hearts” (grief, mourning loved one, survivor’s guilt); OC whump.  Suicide mention/allusion.

the pit is prepared, the fire is made ready [ao3 link] Day Thirty-One, “Today’s Special: Torture” (experiment); Crowley whump.  Satan/Crowley, body horror, abusive relationship.

[iridescentxstars]

corrupted — final

Ctto: @chuuing​

➳ published: 04.01.20 ➳ asylum!au || monster!au || power!au || genre: dark || violence || smut || angst || rated: m ➳ pairing: kim jongin x oc (alice) ➳ summary: In different life, Jongin would have lived a good life - a happy life but this isn’t the life he lives now. His mind has been corrupted, his body working against him and his life means nothing to those experimenting on him - except for her. The one shred of hope he clings to and the one person he can’t seem to push away. ➳ warnings: implications of death, time travel, mentions of PTSD ➳ word count: 3.8k ➳ author’s note: the end is here, now I know this isn’t one of my most popular series but I am proud of this. I love the characters and the world even if it is dark and angsty - those who did read it, I hope you loved it too. This chapter has a song to be listened to whilst reading, you don’t have to of course but it does make the experience more...immersive, I guess. Thank you to all who supported this series <3

Corrupted Mini Masterlist || Prev​

I love you.

The words swirl around his mind, haunting his dreams as he tosses and turns in his sleep. It’s been three days, three days since the explosion and as much as Jongin hoped, hell, he even prayed that she survived – he was still sleeping alone in this abandoned house that Yixing found. He whimpers, the touch of her skin underneath his fingertips calling out to him as he pull the pillow closer to his chest, desperately wishing that it was Alice.

I love you.

The memory of them together in the future, together and happy, Jongin waking up next to her as she still slumbers and her face was unencumbered by the weight of the world. It was so peaceful, so sweet and Jongin couldn’t remember a time where he felt like the world wasn’t against him, where life was just… blissful. The sun warmed her face, making her hair glow like a golden halo around her head and Alice scrunched her nose up when it invaded her sleep; Jongin had chuckled, teasing her without saying a word because her mind would read it all even if she didn’t want to – even if he never meant for her to sometimes.

You’re awake.

It was rare for Jongin to be awake before her, she always teased him about it whenever he was and he, of course, would react with some crude comment or thought that would make her scoff and throw the pillow at his face.

You’re such a pervert.

Only for her, only because of her, he could have been whatever she wanted him to be. Jongin wishes he changed, grew and matured to be the man she eventually ends up with but he still lived in the moment, in the way his life was and he didn’t bother to try. If only he had tried harder, if only he had practiced when told and fuck, if only he had held her a little tighter that day instead of letting her go; could he have saved her, could he have fixed everything if he was more prepared?

If you love me, don’t ever let me go.

Tears spill onto the pillow as he cries, squeezing it tightly to his chest as he curls around it and a sob rips through him, causing the other male to lift his head in concern. He did love her, he loved her more than there were stars in the sky; Jongin loved Alice more than he ever thought he could love anyone in his life, she was all he ever wanted and he let her go – he lost her.

Come here, baby.

He allows himself for a moment to believe that her hands caress his cheeks, that her thumbs wipe the tears away as her lips press to his forehead and place soft kisses along the bridge of her nose, down to his bitten lips. For a moment, he can feel her, the way her loose blonde hair would tickle his neck when she cradled him in her lap during a bad dream; he swears he can smell the jasmine body wash she began using when he mentioned it calmed him, his finger clutch wearily at the her shirt as he buries his nose into her stomach, feeling the muscles in her abdomen tense slightly before Alice wraps him up in her embrace.

You’re safe, it’s just a bad dream.

Oh, how he wishes, how he desperately wishes that this was nothing more than a bad dream plaguing him rather than her being the reason his heart aches in his heaving chest, the reason he can’t stop replaying the moment he lost her as he watches the explosion happen and how he was helpless in saving her. Jongin wishes for the grief to fade, for the guilt to leave him and he wishes that there was something he could do to save her – to bring Alice home.

Hold on, Jongin, don’t let go.

He buries himself further into the dream, further into her as he tries to lose himself in her while he cries freely, letting out the pain of losing the love of his life as he tries to hold on to her memory with everything that he has. He won’t let go; he can’t let go. Jongin begs to whoever is listening to bring her back, begging, pleading to bring Alice home because he cannot bear this any longer. He can’t live without her, he doesn’t want to live without her because the world has dimmed since that day; it’s only been a few days but there is nothing in it anymore, the birds don’t sing, the sun doesn’t shine and even though he’s free from the shackles of his former life – he would give anything to go back and have Alice in his arms again.

Save me.

“I can’t,” he whimpers, shaking now.

Save me, Jongin.

“I can’t, I don’t know how.”

Come back to me, save me.

“I can’t!” He hollers, sitting up and throwing his pillow away from him in a fit of rage as she fades from his mind.

It takes him a moment to readjust to his surroundings, seeing the four bland, suffocating wooden walls of the house Yixing and he has been coped up inside, Jongin remembers where he is and it breaks him a little more inside as he realises that it was nothing more than a dream – his brain mocking him with thoughts of you to further throw him into his guilt.

Yixing watches silently for a moment, brain running a thousand miles per hour and fingers itching to reach out and comfort the younger man; he can feel the pain in Jongin’s chest, a very real aching in his heart, the emotional trauma creating a physical manifestation of pain that Yixing can feel but knows he cannot heal. He squints a little, watching as Jongin begins to shake and shift while crying out for Alice before his eyes widen in shock at what is happening.

He saw it before Jongin sat up, before he had woken himself from the dream that he was having, Jongin was shifting through time, unknowingly distorting where he was as he cried for her in his sleep. “Jongin,” Yixing rushes to his side before the young man puts himself into a position that he may not be able to come back from, “Jongin, look at me.” Jongin’s eyes are swollen, the once anger filled orbs now look at Yixing with more pain than he’s seen in one man. “It’ll be okay,” he tries to reassure him, knowing that he cannot guarantee such a thing but he needs Jongin regain control, “she wouldn’t want you to sit here and torture yourself.”

“I-I should have done more,” Jongin’s voice breaks, sniffing as he roughly presses the palm of his hands against his eyes as he tries to calm his breathing but the sobs keep coming as he grits his teeth, the tears falling salty on his lips and lets out choked cries of Alice’s name. “What did we do-what did we do to deserve this?” His fingers run through his hair as Jongin brings his knees up to his chin and curls within himself, tugging harshly at the roots of his unkempt hair.

Yixing doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know how to bring it up to Jongin that he literally holds the power to change the future, to bring about the future that he wants to have with her. The state he’s in, thinking about Jongin’s rash history, would only cause the man to rush in half cocked with no plan and fucking the consequences that may happen because his gift is untested and the power that he holds in his very core is unknown. Placing a hand on his shoulder, Yixing tries his best to comfort him for now, there’s not much he can do in terms of mending a broken heart but he can provide Jongin with something he desperately needs.

A friend.

When Jongin had cried himself back to sleep, Yixing goes to his desk; trying to plot things out because he needs to make sure everything is perfect before they go any further. He runs through his notes, revising everything they have learnt in the past few days of searching the site; there were no survivors that they could find, if anyone managed to escape then they haven’t been seen by the authorities. Yixing had searched the estimated area where Alice and Kyungsoo were when the explosion happened and learnt that Alice had caused it, used everything in herself to cause the gas pipes to be rupture and damaged the electrical wiring of the building to cause the place to go boom in more than one place – it would have taken a lot of energy and concentration to be able to do this much damage.

“But there were no bodies,” he runs shaky fingers over the photos he took, “there were remains everywhere but here…” With his mind trying to make sense of this, he peels flicks through the files he compiled to see if there could be a possibility if Alice was alive.

It seemed crazy, even though he wasn’t a psychologist, Yixing knew that his behaviour would be deemed as denial but there has to be something, some reason there’s a niggling at the back of his mind that they are missing something. In a world filled with people who can travel through time, control the weather and read minds, Yixing refuses to believe that Alice is dead – she can’t be.

Denial may seem to be where he is at in his grieving point but Yixing cannot, will not, accept that she’s gone. If he gives up hope, if he chooses to believe that she will never be coming back to them then what was the point in all of this? Why did he have to live? “Why did they come back for me?” He mutters to himself as the first tear that he’s shed since the explosion drops onto the paper on the desk, opening the flood gates as he tries to keep his sobs from waking Jongin.

Where would they go?

How are they going to carry on?

What the actual fuck are they meant to do?

Alice knew it all, she had the plans and loved doing the gritty work of figuring out where the players on the board should be. She had loved it ever since she was a child, being able to read minds of those around her, she always knew when to fight and when to flee while Yixing stayed back because she always told him that he needed to be safe so he can help those who might need it. It made Yixing chuckle back then, a young girl playing capture the flag with other kids in the institute and thinking that anyone would be hurt by such a game.

It always amazed him how strong she was, how determined and stubborn Alice could be because she refused to accept defeat – from the day he met her, she was a fighter.

“She would have planned for this,” he mumbles, looking at the photo once more, “she would have known that there was no escape, that if Kyungsoo went down then so did she.” Though, that wouldn’t be how she’d want it to end, not Alice – she wouldn’t give Kyungsoo the satisfaction of watching her die, even if he died too. “She must have planned for this.” He knows he’s fighting the denial, making things worse for himself and Jongin as he scours over these photos and files but he can’t escape this niggling in his gut, this voice in the back of his mind that she’s in pain, that she needs him.

He would know if she was dead, wouldn’t he? He would have sensed it, felt it, known that her life was no more – so why can’t he accept it?

Why is he so sure that she’s somewhere and in pain?

“We need to look again,” he speaks to no one in particular because the only other person is finally sound asleep, his whimpers no longer audible to Yixing’s ears. “One last look and if we can’t see anything then we’ll move on,” as best as they could though, knowing that Jongin will never truly get over it but Yixing has a plan, one that can be risky if they don’t follow everything to the letter but it’ll work, “it has to work.”

The air shifts around them, the wind seemingly foreboding as they stand in the same place they did when the explosion happened; Jongin glares down at the site before turning to Yixing, who is standing on the side and looking nervous. “Are you sure?” Jongin’s wary of this, he doesn’t quite understand why Yixing is being so precise about this and despite his stoic appearance – Jongin’s worried he’ll fuck it up.

Nodding, Yixing brings out the schematics of the Asylum, “Alice would have protected herself from the blasts but wouldn’t have countered in the fact that with the amount of energy she exerted causing it – she wouldn’t have been able to keep balance during it.” He points in a vague direction, “considering the place caved in on itself, she would have ended up here but in the basement. She has to be there, search the whole basement if you have to.” He’s very pushy with this and Jongin can tell that he’s not 100% sure that this will work.

He doesn’t need to be a mind reader to know that.

“What do I do if I find her?” Jongin begins cracking his knuckles and neck, doing his best to focus on the place and time that he needs to go to, “why can’t I grab her?”

Yixing looks more serious about this than anything Jongin has ever seen, “you are not to interact under no circumstances.” He tries to maintain his breathing, calming himself down, “we don’t know what she’s done since and who she’s interacted with since. If you grab her then you change the course of time and we don’t know what that could mean for the future.”

Now comes the other side of the coin, the question Jongin dreads to find out the answer to, “what happens if I don’t find Alice?” Yixing sighs, running a hand through his unruly hair.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly, “I really don’t know.”

Taking a deep breath, Jongin tries to focus, pushing the fear out of his heart as he feels the energy coursing through his body, the air shifting around him as he sees Alice’s face before feeling the pull and then the intense heat. Jongin coughs, holding a hand to his face as he squints around, finding himself inside the burning inferno that is the Asylum.

Alice. He calls out with his mind, knowing that he really shouldn’t but he can’t help but hope she’ll say something, give him some clue that she’s alive. Alice, where are you? Jongin knows that Yixing will be pissed if he ever finds this out but fuck, he’s a desperate man who is desperately searching for the woman he loves and Jongin will do anything it takes to find her and he can deal with the consequences later. Baby, where are you? Please! Please say something, anything!

Was that a cough?

Jongin turns in the direction of the sound, ears straining to hear anything other than the crackling of the flames that begin to petrify him as his mind is thrown back to the moment his family died. He couldn’t save them before, he was too weak, he wasn’t strong enough to save them from their doom and now, Alice is going to die because of his incompetence.

Tears begin to form in his eyes, his chest struggling to take in decent amounts of polluted air as he begins to hyperventilate and Jongin is back to being that weak little boy who teleported himself out of the burning house. I can’t do it. He shakes his head, his head reeling as he feels the flames licking at his skin and the smoke begins to burn his lungs, his eyes squinting so tight that he can barely see – not that he can with the black smoke clouding everything anyway. I’m not strong enough, Alice is going to die and its all because I wasn’t strong enough. His knees hit the floor, his palms burning on the concrete floor as he lets out a choked sob and resigns to the fact that he’s failed in protecting her – that he’s failed Alice.

A cough cuts through his detrimental thoughts, the sound of his name barely registering in his mind until it comes out a little stronger; Jongin’s head snaps in the direction of the voice, a voice he’s been missing for far too long. “Jo-Jongin,” her voice grows louder as he pushes further into the flames. His heart leaps for joy when he sees her sitting on the ground, a small bubble of her gift surrounding her enough that she’s not touched by the flames. “Wha-What are you doing here?”

Guilt ripples through him, he knows that he should lie, make it seem like he came straight after the explosion but Alice would see through it all before he even formed the words; Yixing will kick his ass for this and yet, Jongin doesn’t care one bit.

Foolish.

Reckless.

Selfish.

Words he knows that will be thrown at him but he still pushes through, fingers reaching for Alice as she lets him inside her little bubble. She’s battered and bruised, Yixing’s theory about her being thrown around seemingly true but she’s alive.

Alice is alive.

“He’s going to kill you,” her voice lacklustre and Jongin can feel her gift growing weaker as her head rolls back against the wall. “You weren’t meant to approach me, were you?” Jongin shakes his head and Alice lets out a weak laugh, an exhausted sigh escapes shortly after and dread seeps into his core as he thinks about what would happen if he didn’t take her away now. “I’ll die,” she confirms, “I can barely move, let alone hold on for much longer,” Jongin can feel the heat beginning to seep in as her gift ebbs.

“Fuck it,” Jongin mumbles, wrapping Alice up in his embrace, “we’re getting out of here. If you die here then nothing will change.” Alice doesn’t argue but she can’t say much because Jongin’s already concentrating on the point where he left and gripping her tightly as he uses more energy to pull Alice along with him.

Yixing jumps back when Jongin appears next to him; to him, Jongin just left but what he holds upon his arrival has him about to yell, he told Jongin not to engage Alice. “Wha-”

“She died,” Jongin snarls, pulling a now unconscious Alice closer to his chest, “she dies there, trapped and alone in the basement. I was not going to let her die, Yixing, I don’t give a fuck what you say, I’m not losing her again.” Any argument he had dies when he sees the look in Jongin’s eye and Yixing is reminded why these two were perfect for each other, why they seem to be the only two who managed to survive their corruption.

The unwavering strength that resides in their hearts make them stronger than most in the most extreme circumstances.

Taking a deep breath, Yixing places a hand on Alice’s heart, feeling her faint heartbeat as he tries to take away some of the injuries that she has – enough until they can get her home. “You did good, Jongin,” he speaks after a few moments, “let’s get her home.”

“Are you going to tell him?” Yixing mutters, looking at Alice who is still on bed rest even after five days. “He deserves to know.” Yixing has been working on Alice for a few hours a day since they arrived back at their humble abode, most of the injuries are nearly healed and the rest of it will be cured with good food and bed rest but this isn’t the reason why Yixing keeps a close eye on the woman he calls a sister.

Alice sighs, looking over at Jongin, sound asleep beside her as he curls into her side. “What am I meant to tell him? That I cannot guarantee Kyungsoo died and that we may be looking over our shoulders until we get out of here and find a place of our own – a place untouched by Astra’s dark history.” Her hand reaches over to brush his hair out of his eyes with a softer expression, “or that after all of this, he’s going to be a father?”

“Both,” Yixing answers, “I have plenty of contacts that will help us on our journey but he needs to know why its so urgent that we get away. If word gets out that you’re pregnant, that Kyungsoo’s experiments were a success, then that child will have a target on it’s back regardless of whether he’s alive or dead.” Alice bites her lip, not looking away from the man who risked it all to save her; Jongin hasn’t left her side since that day and Alice knows that when he finds out, he’ll never leave her side again – not even to save his own life. “I knew that one day, you’ll curb that temper of his,” Yixing chuckles softly when Alice rolls her eyes. “He needs to know and the sooner we leave this place, the better.”

“I know, I know,” she groans, swatting Yixing away because his pestering is getting too much and she’s far too tired to deal with it now, “I’ll tell him tomorrow,” there’s an unspoken word that flashes across Yixing’s mind and she shoots him a look of warning, “I will, now piss off and go to sleep. You need your sleep as much as I do.”

Walking away laughing, Yixing closes the door behind him while Alice shuffles further down in the bed until she snug in Jongin’s embrace, facing him. Who knew that this is where they would be after how things were when they first met? Alice never would have guessed that she would ever care for Jongin as deeply as she does now, she never thought that she would be carrying his child and be as close as free as she could be. The future is uncertain, not even Jongin could give them a clear view on what’s to come because it’s forever shifting and changing but one thing is for certain – that even if Kyungsoo somehow managed to survive, even if he is somewhere out there trying to find her, he’ll never ever win.

Alice will definitely make sure of that.

[thefinalexperiment]

The Final Experiment Chapter 29: Sarah

Peter Parker x OC

A/N: Another long part! Enjoy.

I will no longer be linking things on new part posts due to dumblr and the link censoring, and just to be safe from any potential image post censoring, I will also not be including covers on my stories. All previous parts can be found in my masterlist, in my bio!

Warnings: This part contains a brief mention of a knife wound and a bullet wound, implications of child abuse, and just a general angsty tone

---

                                             Many Years Ago…

        Bucky sparred with the kid, just like they’d ordered him to. He didn’t like it, but he couldn’t fight back. It was his job to train her. The whole reason they’d brought him out of storage. He had to be the one to train her, because she was his daughter. He never thought he’d have kids… Well, maybe he’d entertained the idea once, but that was so long ago. Back when… back… Back when? His memory came in pieces. He knew his name. James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. But more than that… it slipped away the harder he reached for it.

        “Stop,” a guard ordered in Russian. Bucky understood Russian now. That was another thing. He knew he didn’t used to be so good at it. Okay enough, but not fluent like this.

        He relaxed from his fighting stance, noticing the kid did the same.

        “Move on to knife combat,” came the next command.

        Bucky felt the hilt of a knife pressed into his flesh hand. This was wrong… he shouldn’t do this… But he didn’t really have a choice. The girl held a knife in her hand as well. Bucky noted that her grip was in good form. Someone had to have been teaching her in his absence. An absence that had lasted several years, so it seemed. Her once-golden hair had gained a few shades of brown, and she was taller now. Most likely, her training had been at the hands of the Foreman.

        Bucky had never met the Foreman, at least not that he could remember, but he knew his handiwork well. He’d seen the injuries that monster left all over the girl. His girl. Consequences be damned, if Bucky ever saw the Foreman, he’d tear his throat out.

        The girl surprised him when she made the first move. That was new. Probably something she’d figured out on her own. She was clever. Bucky couldn’t help but feel proud.

        Effortlessly, he sidestepped her attack, grabbing her by the arm. She quickly recovered, wrenching her arm out of his grasp with an acrobatic flip. He lunged towards her, but she danced out of the way, slipping under his reach.

        With that, she slipped under his defenses, landing her knife in the bicep of his real arm. Bucky clenched his jaw, but gave no other sign of his pain. That little move of hers left her exposed, and Bucky lashed out without thinking, his Winter Soldier instincts taking over. His knife carved a curved line from the outer side of her right collarbone to the top of her sternum. She yelped in pain, snapping Bucky out of his instinctual response. What had he done?

        Immediately, Bucky let his knife clatter to the floor, pressing his hand against the wound he’d just made. He was so focused on her, he didn’t hear what anyone was saying until a guard ordered, “Back away, Soldier, let the medics through to check.” 

        He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t. She was his daughter. He needed to take care of her.

        “No.”

        The handlers all went silent, shocked that he had denied them, no doubt.

        “What?”

        “I said no,” Bucky responded firmly. “I will take care of her. She should be shown how to care for herself should an emergency occur on a mission, yes?” Maybe they would respond to that logic.

        The guards didn’t seem very pleased with it, but the scientist relented.

        “Very well. Take her to your quarters. Just get it over with quickly.”

        Careful to keep pressure on the wound, Bucky scooped up the girl and carried her back to his “quarters”. It was really just a glorified room that served as a cell. But maybe it would give him enough privacy to talk to the girl away from prying eyes and ears…

        The guards who escorted them there tossed a first aid kit into the room, then closed and locked the door behind them.

        Bucky carefully set the girl down on his cot, then grabbed a rag with his free, metal hand. He handed to her, replacing his hand with hers.

        “Keep pressure on it,” he told her. It had been a while since they’d spoken to each other. Even then, that was mostly him giving her instructions as a trainer. Bucky found it hard to read her. She obeyed wordlessly. She had likely been conditioned to behave this way. The girl looked at him expectantly, as if awaiting his orders.

        Bucky rifled through the first aid kit for a needle and surgical thread, mulling over how to get through to her without the guards knowing. They didn’t seem abnormally smart, probably recruited for brute strength rather than critical thinking. That meant they likely only spoke Russian…

        “Do you speak English?” he murmured to the girl.

        She stared at him expressionlessly, and for a moment, Bucky feared they wouldn’t be able to communicate secretly, but then she nodded, ever so slightly.

        “Da…” she said softly. “A little. They teach me, after they take you away.”

        Bucky smiled at the sound of her voice. She had a rather thick Russian accent, but her English was pretty good.

        “Sounds to me like you’ve learned a lot.”

        She smiled just a bit.

        “Do you have a name?” Bucky asked, finally finding the supplies he needed.

        “I do not think so… But they say I will need a name, for when I am doing missions. I think they have chosen “Kaitlynn” for that name.”

        Bucky nodded slowly as he threaded the needle. He was definitely not calling her that.

        “Sounds to me like you could use a real name then… Do you mind if I give you one?”

        The girl tilted her head.

        “Do I need one?”

        Bucky almost chuckled.

        “Everybody needs a name,” he said. “Names are very important. They tell you who you are.”

        She was silent for a moment.

        “Do you have a name, Soldat?”

        Bucky almost stabbed himself with the needle.

        “I do…”

        She didn’t press him any further, but it was clear she was waiting patiently for an answer.

        “How much do you know about moms and dads, kid?” Bucky asked, changing the subject for a moment.

        The girl shrugged.

        “I have read about families. They say I must know how to pretend I am normal. To blend in.”

        Okay, he could work with that.

        “Do you know who your mom and dad are?” he asked.

        “I do not have a mom or a dad,” she said. “I may have to pretend I do someday, but I only come from HYDRA.”

        “HYDRA lies,” Bucky said softly, glancing at the door. “You do have parents.”

        She frowned, ever so slightly, the question written on her face.

        He set the needle and thread aside for a moment to gently cup her face with his real hand. He wouldn’t touch her with the other… the murder weapon.

        “I do have a name… it's James Buchanan Barnes.” He felt his throat tightening with emotion. “I don’t know who your mom is… but I’m your dad.”

        Her brown eyes searched his, searched for any hint of a lie, but seemed to find none.

        “Then… do I call you by your name? Or… children call their parents…” she trailed off.

        “You… you can call me dad if you want… but only ever when we’re alone like this, okay? They didn’t want me to tell you that. They can’t know that you know.”

        She nodded solemnly, and Bucky grabbed the solution to clean her cut, gently moving her hand aside.

        “Okay kid, this is gonna sting… You ready?”

        She nodded once more, and he began to clean the cut. To her credit, she didn’t even flinch.

        “You asked to give me a name,” she said, more like a statement than a question.

        “I did…” Bucky said. “Is that still okay?”

        “I think so…” she said. “I read that parents name their child. It only seems logical.”

        Bucky chuckled softly at her choice of words, grabbing the needle and thread. He warned her before he started to stitch the wound closed in the deepest spots.

        “Well then… let’s see here… You’re pretty tough, you know? Going through all this… Seems only right I call you Sarah, after the toughest lady I ever met.”

        “Was she your mother?” the girl - now Sarah - asked.

        Bucky smiled fondly, a pang of sadness filling his heart.

        “Nah… but she was my bet pal’s ma.”

        Just then, a thought occurred to him.

        “Say, kid-- Sarah… How old are you? Do you know when your birthday is?”

        Little Sarah shrugged.

        “I do not know “birthday,” but sometimes they come to me, tell me ‘Today, you are six. Today, you are nine.’”

        “And when did they last tell you a number?”

        She tilted her head thoughtfully, only for a second.

        “This morning… They say ‘Today, you are twelve.’”

        Bucky’s eyebrows shot up.

        “Today?” He paused, smiling a bit. “Happy birthday, kid…”

        Sarah blinked in response.

        “It just means… you’re another year older, and that’s supposed to be a good thing, an exciting thing…”

        Slowly, the tiniest smile appeared on her face.

        Bucky put the supplies away, then carefully kissed her forehead.

        “I’m gonna get you out of here, Sarah, I promise. And someday, I’ll throw you the best birthday party in the world. All the kids on the block will be jealous…”

        She didn’t seem to understand what he meant, but that was okay.

        “Hey, before we have to go back out there, can you promise me something?”

        Sarah nodded.

        “Sometimes, when these people take me away, they make me forget who I am. If that happens… can you promise to remind me?”

        She nodded again, much more solemnly.

        “I promise… Dad.”

        Bucky couldn’t stop his smile.

        “I love you, Sarah…”

        She paused, as if processing what that meant.

        “It’s okay, kid,” he said softly, “I’ll teach you about that next time.”

        Reluctantly, he stood. As much as he didn’t want to, he knocked on the door, signalling to the guards that they were finished. They opened up the door and led Sarah out. When they weren’t looking at her, just before the door was shut again, Bucky caught one last glimpse of her little smile. And that was all he needed to get him through whatever happened next.

---

        The Soldier sat on a cot in a small, dark room, shirtless and bleeding from a bullet wound in his side. He had gotten it on his last mission, but he did his job. There was a child next to him, searching through a first aid kid. The guards had shoved her in here with him.

        “Show us what he taught you,” they’d said, “And if you damage him, there will be hell to pay.”

        The Soldier said nothing, passively sitting, staring straight forward. Whenever he got stitched up, he wasn’t allowed to react. The little girl cleaned his wound. Her hands were steady, but unskilled. It was clear she was relatively new to this. The Soldier wondered why he couldn’t fix himself up. He normally did. If it was very bad, the medics did it. Never before had they sent a child to do the job.

        “Soldat?” the child asked softly.

        He gave no sign that he’d heard her.

        “Soldat,” she whispered again. “I have something to tell you.”

        The Soldier turned his passive gaze onto her. To his surprise, she didn’t shy away or shrink under the weight of his stare as others might. No, in fact, she almost smiled.

        “Names are very important, Soldat,” she continued, keeping her voice low as she started to patch his wound. “You taught me that… So now I will teach you. You say that names are important… they tell you who you are. I promised to remind you who you are if they did this to you… Before they put you in that chair, made me watch, you say ‘This is it, this is when you have to remind me, next time you see me…’ and I do not understand right away… but I think I understand now.”

        The Soldier watched her, waiting for an order somewhere in all of this.

        “You called me Sarah, after… after… your “best pal’s ma.” I think that means someone’s mother… Do you remember whose mother, Dad?”

        When she called him that, something familiar began tugging at the back of his mind.

        “Why did you call me that?” he asked, his voice cracking from disuse.

        His response seemed to make her happy.

        “Because it is who you are,” she said simply. “You are James Buchanan Barnes, and you are my father.”

        That familiar tug began to increase.

        “I’m… your…”

        He looked down at her, memories beginning to return unbidden.

        “Sarah?” Bucky asked.

        She smiled brightly.

        “Yes, papa, it is me.”

        Bucky pulled her into his arms and held her tightly.

        “What is this?” she asked, confused.

        He laughed dryly.

        “This is a hug, kid… It means I love you. Which means that you’re very, very important to me… Does that make sense?”

        Sarah smiled, slowly hugging him back, affectionately, but with all the awkwardness of a child who’d never been hugged before.

        “Yes, I think so… I like this.”

        “I like this too, kiddo,” Bucky said softly.

        “What do we do now?” Sarah asked. “Now that you remember?”

        “Now…” Bucky said, “We find a way to get out of here.”

---

        They made their plans in secret, between bouts of training and conditioning. It would have to be soon, Sarah said. She had overheard her handlers making plans about what they were going to do with her. They were discussing the possibility of sending her away, to America, for another project. Bucky couldn’t let that happen, or she’d be lost to him forever.

        HYDRA had begun to let them live in the same quarters, as a way to increase training productivity. They thought it was a good idea to have the girl shadow the Winter Soldier in order to better emulate him.

        Right now, they were curled up on the rickety cot together, making plans in the dark before they drifted off to sleep. Sarah curled close, using his human arm as a pillow, since Hydra hadn’t bothered to provide one. It was late, later than normal, and Bucky had a sudden realization.

        “Hey Sarah…”

        “Yes, papa?” she said sleepily.

        “I think it’s after midnight… you know what that means?”

        “No… what does it mean?”

        “It means… you’re thirteen today, kid. Happy birthday, Sarah.”

        He felt her smiling against his arm.

        “Thank you, dad…”

---

        That day, they woke to HYDRA guards dragging them from the room, separating them from each other, forcing them down the hall.

        That day, their plans were put to an end.

        That day, the Winter Soldier was reprogrammed more thoroughly than he had ever been before.

        That day, Sarah became Kaitlynn Grace.

---

                                                              Now

        Bucky woke with a start. Where was she? They’d taken her away, they put her in the chair…

        “Sarah,” he wheezed, looking around.

        “Bucky?” A familiar face came into view. “Hey, Bucky, it’s okay, it’s me.”

        “Steve?” Bucky tried to sit up, but Steve put a hand on his chest, stopping him. “No, Steve, you don’t understand, I gotta get to her, I gotta find Sarah, they wiped her memory, they took her to America… I gotta…” He collapsed back into the hospital bed. “Her birthday… I promised…”

        Steve seemed confused.

        “Just sleep, Buck,” he said gently, as if he were talking to a child, “I’ll help you find her when you wake up…”

        “No… No, I've got to… got to…” But his eyes were growing heavier, and the soft caress of sleep was closing in. He had no choice but to give in to the gentle embrace.

        For now.

---

A/N: So there's a bit more of Kaitlynn and Bucky's history... Bucky hadn't remembered these parts before. The real question is, does Kait remember? We shall see in the next part... Also, I've been toying with the idea of an AU series for this, like what would have happened if Bucky had managed to get her out of there, or what would have happened if Natasha had found out about Kait and raised her. Maybe someday I'll do a collection of "What If" snippets... What did you think of this new part? Be sure to let me know in the comments!

Series Tags: @shamvictoria11 @mla02 @fanficcrapforme @goodbyefornow123 @thebookisbtr @what-inspirational-name

Everything Tags: @coconutknees @hollymac79 @jordan-ia @ace-marvel-chick

[nekoabi]

Fic Masterlist!

I finally made a post version of my masterlist, which allows it to be viewed on mobile! Everything is also available on my AO3, which is also NekoAbi. 

The Five Times Patton Smiled And The One Time It Didn’t Reach His Eyes - Angsty. Romantic Royality. Romantic Prinxiety. Implied NSFW. College AU. School AUri

Admitting It - Romantic Logicality. Kiss. Sleepy boys. Terrible Title Syndrome.

Stitches -  Hurt/Comfort. Platonic Moxiety. Patton tears.

Falling For You - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logicality. Romantic Prinxiety. Platonic LAMP. One-sided (for now). Implied NSFW dreams. Implied wet dream. Swearing. Logan and Roman being know-it-all lil pieces of shit. School AU.

Planning - Platonic LAMP. Fluffy shenanigans.

Snow - Platonic LAMP. Virgil enjoys the snow. Pain mention, Self-inflicted pain.

Calm - Platonic LAMP. Its a calm day and Virgil gets introspective. Food mention.

Library - MASTERLIST! MASTERLIST (Rewrite) Library AU. All pairings, a different pairing each chapter, ending with LAMP. Cute fluff. Falling in love in different ways. Logan, head librarian. Patton, hired work. Virgil, volunteer. Roman, volunteer.

Too Close For Comfort - Past Prinxiety. Crying, Break Up. Roman is processing a break up, maybe some music can help.

Royality vs. Analogical - Romantic Royality, Romantic Analogical. Food mention, kissing. Each relationship is different; some are loud, some are quiet.

Nerdy - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logince. High School AU. Logan’s always been a lone wolf, but recently someone’s just been playing on his mind.

Fragrance of Dark Coffee - Romantic Prinxiety. Angst. Major Character Death Prior To Events. Influenced by Ace Attorney.

On the Verge of a Heartbreak - MASTERLIST! Eventual Moxiety. Angst in later chapters. School AU.

His Last Chance - Prinxiety. Angst. Implied cheating, lots of sadness.

Prompt Fill Fic Collection - University AU. Most LAMP ships. A collection of 9 prompt fill fics.

Logan’s Birthday - Written for Logan’s Birthday 2018. Platonic LAMP. Food mention, happy crying.

Tea Break -  Patton finds Roman having some issues with homework. Platonic Royality. Food mention. School AU.

Hands - Soft Logince. Roman’s frustrated by something.

Of Princes and Potions - MASTERLIST! Pining Logince. Royal Fantasy AU. Sympathetic Deceit. Mentions of war and injury. Chapter 6 involves blood, swords, knives, injury and strong anxiety attack parallels.

Rain On Me/You’re Perfect/The Way You Held My Hand/Stupid Band - School AU. Virgil is new to the school, meets a cute boy, can’t handle it. Themes of personal isolation.Chapter 3 had allusion to self-harm and talk of injury. Based off of a songs from Emo the Musical.

If I Can’t Love Her - Based off of a song of the same name. Roceit. Sympathetic Deceit. Roman hears a new singing voice, and needs to find out who it is.

Perfect - Romantic Royality. Kissing, Playfighting. Roman and Patton begin by playfighting, end up doing something they didn’t expect.

My Hero - Romantic Moceit. Kidnapping, Gangs, Violence, Fighting. Patton is kidnapped, and all he wants is for his boyfriend to come and save him... but that would never happen... right?

Ultraviolet - Logince. Past Prinxiety. Swearing, alcohol mention, past FWB relationship. Roman’s crushing on a fellow teacher and his inner performer can really help with that.

Bad Day - Implied Romantic Mox. Panic attack. Virgil has a bad day, Patton knows how to help.

Animals Know Best - Logicality. Prinxiety. Soulmate AU. Everyone has a partner animal that chooses them which not only has traits of their soulmate, but will also lead them to their soulmate. Virgil doesn’t believe in it all too much, until he can’t help but admit it.

Insomnia - Remile. Insomnia talk, mention of sleep therapy, mention of smoking. Remy’s dealing with some really bad insomnia and he’s referred to a sleep specialist. Yet the most interesting thing is the receptionist who works there...

Torn Apart - Heavy Angst with a happy ending. Lots of violence; stabbing, cutting off limbs, strangulation, choking, head injuries. Wrath is an OC of mine, he’s an angry man. Virgil sets him off. It’s a bad time.

Lullaby for a Duke - Remus mention. Based off of Lullaby for a Princess, an MLP song and animation.

Ranking Up - MASTERLIST! Splatoon Sides. Deceit and Remus are involved. 

Lies - Virgil-centric. Angst. Unhappy Ending. Suicide, Alcohol, Dangerous Driving, Car Crash, Death, Suicide (both implied and described), Implied Abusive Deceit. Based off of Lies by McFly.

This Day Aria - Villain!Deceit. Based off of the same song from MLP:FiM.

It’s (Im)possible - Roceit. “What you just asked for is impossible” and “Fuckbuddies falling in love”.

I’m Fine! - School AU. Roman’s sent to the councillor’s office against his will. Sure, he may have mentioned something in drama, but he’s fine!

Headache - No AU. Thomas has a headache and it affects where the sides reside... and to Roman more than the others.

Paint Me - Royality. Human AU. Struggling artist Roman needs some inspiration and the stranger knocking at his door is just what he needs. Based off of Paint Me from Firebringer.

To Love a Remus - Demus. No AU. Remus is an idiot, but Deceit thinks he’s hot anyway. Blood and Injury mention. Birthday fic for @doces-e--tuga

Virgil the Small Purple Emo - Moxiety. Love Makes You Grow AU. Virgil was unloved at a young age and stopped growing. A chance meeting might change his life. Secret Santa for @midnightsdarkangel (also my first and probably last attempt at GT)

Battle Bonds - No AU. Thomas is on a Pokemon kick and its affecting his imagination more than he could... well... imagine.

Theatre Technicians are basically Vampires - Vampire/Human AU. They all live in one house, work at the same place and are vampires. Angst included about their pasts which include the following: attacks, blood, talk of death, injury, scarring and attempted suicide.

Recreating - MASTERLIST! No ships. No AU. Thomas liked to watch Disney movies. That fact was one of the least surprising things about him. He could sit down and watch almost any of the Disney movies and have a wonderful time. Sometimes, scenes from those movies got stuck in his head. He never thought anything of it. 

Love on the Fly Floor - Theatre AU. Prinxiety, Roman is crushing bad on one of the flymen for the show he’s on. When his birthday rolls around, the cast and crew give him a surprise.

While The Sides Are Away, Virgil Will Play - No AU. The sides have a day out and leave Virgil at home. They don’t expect to come home to him looking... like that.

How Not to Help Your Nerd Boyfriend Find a Swimsuit - Human AU. Intrulociet. Logan needs a swimsuit. His boyfriends want to help. They are no help. Birthday fic for @cloverlyanxious/ @maeofclubsandart

Pier Pressure - Human AU. Logince/Pining Moxiety. The four go to the lake to hang out, Roman’s mad that his brother and friend are so clearly into each other but not taking the hint.

The 5 Times Patton Tripped and the 1 Time He Fell (In Love) - Human AU. 5+1 fic. Moxiety. Patton falls a lot, has done since birth. Doesn’t mean everyone’s used to it.

Remus Kidnaps You - Idk AU... mix of canon and human, maybe? No Ship. Remus kidnaps you to play with your hair. That’s about it.

Oh My God, They Were Roommates - Human/College AU. Prinxiety. Virgil meets an old friend, gets a crush on him, walks into him basically naked, freaks out. Ends happy.

Heatwave - Sides-Are-English Human AU.  There’s a heatwave. All the roommates are shedding their usual clothing for something cooler, except one.

Explainable Coincidences - Human/Teen AU. The twins explore an abandoned hotel, but they didn’t expect others to be there too.

Don’t Think Twice - Human AU. Song Fic. Roceit. It’s the happiest day of their lives, yet they still reflect on where they started from.

Keeping It Quiet - Human/Influencer AU. Prinxiety. Virgil and Roman keep their relationship quiet on social media. Not silent, just quiet.

Don’t Drink And Livestream, Especially When You’re Famous - Human/Famous AU. Platonic Roceit. Being drunk, drinking, kissing. Janus tries to help his friend get over his ex.

A Simple Mistake With A Simple Solution - Human AU. Logince. Roman messes up, Logan’s pissed. Roman makes it easy.

Skipping Ahead A Few Steps - Human AU. Logicality. Patton brings a dog home, Logan’s baffled and confused.

Oh How The Tables Have Turned... - Royal AU. Roceit, background Intrulogical. Roman’s brother likes Roman’s retainer. Roman doesn’t think he likes his brother’s. He’s wrong.

Just Like In The Fairy Tales - Semi-Fantasy/Royal AU. Royality. Patton sneaks off to his favourite place to enjoy the view.

An Apple A Day... Hurts Like A Bitch - No AU. Platonic Sides. The 5 times Janus got apples thrown at him and the 1 time he threw one at everyone else.

–

TVFH Related Stories

Pocky Day - Written for Pocky Day 2018. Shenanigans with TVFH cast and the pocky game.

Coffee Break - Virgil returns to his room and finds Reggie having problems with homework. School AU.

House Party - Roman throws a house party after a show. Mention of drunken behaviour and alcohol.

Beach Trip -  It’s hot, the gang decide to go to the beach. The night before, shenanigans ensue. Sexual implications. Relia focused.

--

FFXV Fics

Type Found - Pokemon AU. Prompto finds a Pokemon in an imperial base, saves it and plot things happen. The boys have partner pokemon.

Hair Troubles - No AU. Ignis can’t get his hair right and it’s frustrating. Prompto steps in to help.

Prompto’s Bike - Pre-Roadtrip. OT4 Chocobros. Prompto has a motorbike. The other bros really like it.

Cor’s Cooking Lesson - Pre-Roadtrip. Cor finds young Ignis attempting to cook and helps out.

[patiencetaught]

Can I ask why each of your muses needs to be a victim of abuse? I don't try to judge. I just intrigues me to know why people choose to make muses and turn them into abuse victims. What thrill do they gain from it? Or is it to get over personal things as a role player? Do you think people who got abused are more likely to write ocs that are victims of abuse? Do they choose to write it consciously?

BIG DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to come across as rude in my reply to this ask. That is not my intent, I merely want to explain why abuse is relevant and central to Jenny’s character and my portrayal of her. So, the excess of quotes at the end of this is not intended to be snarky. I genuinely want to offer support from the source material as an explanation for why my portrayal of Jenny is the way it is. 

However, before I start answering you questions, I would like to first address one major implication of this ask. I did not make Jenny, I chose her. Jennifer Honey is a character from Roald Dahl’s Matilda, who is canonically depicted as a victim of abuse verbal and physical abuse at the hands of her aunt. This is clear in Roald Dahl’s book, Danny Devito’s movie, and Minchin and Kelly’s musical. I will have several pulled quotes from each of these sources below the cut after I address the rest of this question.

I want to make one thing clear: I did not consciously or purposefully chose Jenny because of her abuse, I merely chose to write her out of a lifelong love of Matilda and a childhood adoration for Miss Honey. Her abuse is merely part of her canonically provided backstory and is a part of her that I don’t think that I could justify ignoring or leaving out of my portrayal.

Okay, so with that out of the way, I’m going to be addressing all of these questions in relation to Piper, who is my OC, who I have created to have abuse in her backstory and “turned into an abuse victim.” Her history of interrelationship violence and abuse was something that I developed over the period of time that I’ve been writing her on tumblr and was not an initial part of her character or her backstory. I simply began to wonder if her desperate need to be loved by someone might facilitate the possibility of abuse in her relationships, especially if her partner realized that he could exploit this need for love to force her to tolerate a lot more shit than she deserved to deal with. This is by no means an attempt to blame victims, but I could see Piper tolerating a lot more from her partners and writing things off as normal or not a big deal if the guy promised he loved her. Her need for love might trump her concern over the red flags in the relationship. 

This addition to her backstory did not come from a need to make her a victim of abuse, but rather came in the form of character development in regards to Piper and her experience with relationships. This was not meant to make her more edgy or angsty, it’s simply something that I felt that she would likely experience.

The main gist of this really long reply is that I DO NOT INTENTIONALLY WRITE CHARACTERS FOR THE SOLE REASON THAT THEY SUFFER ABUSE. While I do feel some protectiveness of characters who are victims of abuse, such as Beverly Marsh from Stephen King’s IT or Eleven from Stranger Things, this does not make me more likely to write them. It is mere coincidence that both characters that I’m writing right now are individuals who have suffered abuse.

I’m sorry if anything about that statement was offensive to those who have suffered abuse, it was not intended to be. Anyways, below are my citations for Jenny’s abuse.

Roald Dahl’s book doesn’t dance around the fact that Jenny suffered at the hands of her aunt:

“’What happened when you were left all alone with the aunt? Wasn’t she nice to you?’‘Nice?” Miss Honey said. “She was a demon. As soon as my father was out of the way she became a holy terror. My life was a nightmare’” (chapter 17, paragraph 40-41).

"’I don’t want to talk about it,’ Miss Honey said. ‘It’s too horrible. But in the end I became so frightened of her I used to start shaking when she came into the room. You must understand I was never a strong character like you. I was always shy and retiring’” (chapter 17, paragraph 43).

"’After my father died, when I was five and a half, she used to make me bathe myself all alone. And if she came up and thought I hadn’t washed properly she would push my head under the water and hold it there. But don’t get me started on what she used to do. That won’t help us at all’” (chapter 18, paragraph 4).

The script of Matilda, as directed by Danny Devito is slightly more subtle about the extent and the ways that Jenny was abused at the hands of her aunt:

“Jenny [about her childhood house]: A girl used to live in that house. Her life was good and happy. When she was two. her mother died. Her father was a doctor. He needed someone to look after things. He asked the mother’s stepsister to live with them. But the girl’s aunt was mean and treated her badly.“

“Trunchbull [to Jenny]: I broke your arm once before. I can do it again.”

In Kelly’s script for the musical, there are several lines that are enough to both suggest the abuse that Jenny suffered and explicitly outline it.

“Miss Trunchbull: That is because you, Miss Honey, are pathetic. [She takes a drink of water.] You are wet. You are weak” (act 2, this is said in front of her class, a deliberate attempt to undermine and humiliate her in front of her students).

“Miss Honey: I’m not strong like you, Matilda. You see, my father died when I was young. Magnus was his name. He was very kind. But, er, when he was gone, my aunt became my legal guardian. She was mean and cruel and horrible like you can hardly imagine. And when I got my job as a teacher, she suddenly presented me with a bill for looking after me all those years. She had written everything down: Every tea bag, every electricity bill, every tin of beans. And she made me sign a contract to pay her back every penny. She … She even produced a document to say that my father had given her his entire house“ (act 2, self explanatory).

“Miss Honey: I cannot say. All I know is that years of being bullied by that woman made me … pathetic! I was trapped” (act 2, said in reference to the Trunchbull and is also self explanatory)

“Miss Trunchbull: Nonsense. Miss Honey is far too soft and peachy to be good at anything. Any moron can see that” (act 2, another example of verbal put downs in front of her students).