#I love how there's no rhyme or reason as to which character gets their last name in my tags....

[riding-the-sunset-bird]

I'm still riding a high from Baxter Week last month so I just wanted to gush about how much I adore Baxter and his DLC! No specific rhyme or reason, but it is a nice break from my usual dives into the code!

Also, I won't be saying anything negative about Cove nor Derek; I don't need nor want to do that. I'll be comparing them to Baxter, but only for contrast/showing the skillfully written differences between them (example: Cove does [x] and Baxter does [y] to account for multiple player preferences).

(might go without saying, but there will be spoilers for basically his entire DLC)

The Background

I actually had no interest in Baxter when my MC first met him in the game. He was fine, I was neutral, but what it came down to was that I was one of Those People who just wanted time with Cove and excluded others (if it's not obvious, I always got a cold Cove unless I used the Cove Creator).

That all changed, funnily enough, during the Cove Wedding DLC. On a whim, I agreed to let Baxter give my MC dance lessons and prodded him on his disappearance after Step 3. Getting a hint of Baxter's underlying problems piqued my interest and I'd had the Baxter DLC downloaded before I even hit the reception!

After the Cove Wedding DLC was over, I rolled back to a save right before Soiree and got to romancing.

Zero regrets.

The Setup

As a character, Baxter is so beautifully designed as both a contrast to Cove and someone to fill out the gaps that Cove and Derek leave. He also completes the "comfort level" of love interests that I had in my head, where the MC can be whatever they want but each guy seems to have a particular comfort level themselves (Cove being Nervous, Derek being more Relaxed, and Baxter being Direct).

When if comes to their actual engagement through the family, Baxter has only brief mentions of his parents, Cove's story is partly connected to his parents whilst still giving focus to one-on-one time, and Derek's family is front-and-center to his conflict. It's all about how much time a player wants to invest in the character versus the time they want to spend with others.

Likewise, Baxter's route features a relationship that ends and gets back together again, Cove's route is a relationship where he and the MC always live close to each other, and Derek's route is a long-distance relationship past Step 2 and before Step 4.

Baxter's undeniably a controversial character, I imagine due to possibly being based on the "playboy" type, which tends to be someone who flirts with anyone they find attractive whether the recipient likes it or not, won't take "no" for an answer, and lies to their dates that they're serious about them when they actually don't care for them at all.

The game cleverly subverts this right out of the gate when Baxter first meets Cove and the MC. Baxter does find the two attractive and initially flirts with the both of them (a great start to confirming that he's pan), but backs off and apologizes the moment he notices that Cove is uncomfortable. He adds as well that he wouldn't mind having a summer fling, but that it's not his core reason for wanting to get to know and spend time with them.

So already, the player is made aware that he's forward but considerate, takes Cove's discomfort more seriously than even the usual residents of Sunset Bird (who enjoy teasing him into embarrassment), and has non-serious flings with a priority on simply having fun connections over the course of his time with them.

He, like Cove, will only propose a relationship with the MC in Step 3 if the MC expresses interest first (the only difference being that the MC expresses the interest in Cove to "the game" while talking to Lee, whereas the MC expresses interest in Baxter by talking to Baxter directly).

This gives the MC a powerful opportunity, as Baxter is a character that the player has the most options in interacting with. He begins as a total stranger, similar to Cove, and the player can decide whether he stays that way or becomes more than that. Even down to the optional moments he appears in, the MC only has to interact with him in Hang and Late Shift, both of which lets them avoid further interaction by going home early and rejecting his invitation to his house/telling him not to come to their workplace respectively. The only mandatory instances of seeing him are the Step 3 intro, a brief goodbye in the ending, Hang, and the very beginning of Late Shift.

Whether it be strangers, friends, friends that fell in love after they met again, a friendship or fling that started well and ended horribly, a fling that turned into genuine feelings in the end, or two people that love each other all the way through, Baxter's route can do it all. In Step 4 as well, the MC can choose to be calm, professional, upset, or angry about seeing Baxter again, which all lead to different conversations/narration with him, and the end of Step 3 makes him the only love interest where there can be a technical "break up."

This is also a rare occasion where the MC, due to Cove not being a fan of Baxter, can form a relationship outside of their normal range. Baxter doesn't live in Sunset Bird and isn't connected to anyone the MC knows - neither Cove's nor the MC's friends and family - at the time of meeting him, fitting the narrative of the MC starting to look at things beyond their little neighborhood and even the people they're close with. It can be further emphasized in Soiree where the MC starts to gain a bit of independence and can end up dancing with a younger Baxter, foreshadowing that little peek into the wider world from a mysterious stranger who's there and then gone.

Something else that's fascinating is that Baxter, due to him leaving at the end of Step 3 and meeting the MC again during Step 4, is the only love interest where players see virtually all of the MC's interactions with him. It does leave out the gaps that Cove and Derek have that can be neatly filled with headcanons, but that ultimately depends on what the player prefers. Point being is that the MC's experiences are the player's experiences when it comes to Baxter: whatever time they spend with him, the player also spends with him.

So already, the setup for Baxter and his route are really strong for me, but the content of his DLC isn't limited to just him.

The Content

Baxter's DLC introduces a total of two new characters and extra content for Terry and Miranda, both of which were absolutely welcomed by me. I was hyper-focused on Cove in the base game, but the Baxter DLC made me appreciate the other characters more.

Even the moms, who already got plenty of screen time, are shown to be rather nosy and gossip-y in Sightseeing (something not showcased overly until then), which ends up being the perfect encouragement towards the MC learning more about Baxter. Then, if the MC meets the requirements and agrees to Baxter's fling, Noelani in particular is stunned into silence. If the MC was upset with Baxter over what happened, then both moms will show a rare coldness to him as well.

These are all things one would miss out on with other interests, due to how the whirlwind relationship and drama in Baxter's route are designed.

Then there's Terry, who becomes Baxter's friend more directly in the DLC whether Baxter is convinced of that or not, and is given more to do in every best way. Baxter's version of Hang allows for more focus on Terry's relationship with Miranda, partly with more hints towards his crush on her but also seeing Terry interact with someone who's "like him." Cove and Miranda are described as "shy" and the MC can be equally as much, allowing for new facets of Terry's character to come through by Baxter's being there.

Even after Baxter goes no contact and Step 4 makes the shift to focus on his relationship with the MC, Terry's friendship with him isn't forgotten: Baxter laments that Terry isn't calling him by his affectionate nickname for him anymore.

Terry getting attention from being Baxter's friend doesn't exclude Miranda from getting any either; far from it. If anything, she gets more than Terry, both with an expansion on her family in the form of her brother (and eventual brother-in-law) plus a moment dedicated to giving her a birthday party. As if that weren't enough, she gets a mini-plot in Step 4 concerning her relationship with Terry and her role in his life.

Seeing more of Terry and Miranda was in every way a case of "thing I didn't know I needed until I had it." Maybe it was the Cove tunnel vision that persisted for so long, but when I first got to re-experience Terry and Miranda in Baxter's version of Hang, it was great and I was so happy any time they were on-screen.

They aren't given extra time just for the sake of it either; they're expertly woven into the overarching story of Step 3 and the themes of Step 4.

Step 3 centers on adulthood with the MC and their friends growing up and having to face the fear of growing apart. The step already does a good job at keeping that a focus, but Planning expands on it in a way that feels almost criminal not to have in the base game. The already high stakes feel even higher when put up against the last birthday party they'll be able to plan before everyone goes off on their own.

Then, Step 4 balances Terry putting forth so much effort for Miranda with her worrying that she's not doing enough for him. She doesn't need to worry, obviously (Terry loves her for every reason), but with Step 4 focusing so much on relationships, self-reflection, and trying to make up for past mistakes (both real and perceived), it's just a cherry on top of an already fantastic story.

Meanwhile, Jude and Scott, despite only appearing for Step 4, are easily some of my favorite characters in the game. They're adorable, they can be sweet with not just Miranda but the MC too (the player has the option for the MC to see them like honorary family/big brothers), and the way the groom's cake ultimately ties into helping bring Baxter and the MC closer again while serving as a callback to Planning is perfection. One may think little of Miranda's initial mention of them (probably assuming that it's just a little bit of character introduction to show that she has family who has things going on), but it all comes together in the end.

The DLC additionally has a potential bonus (depending on player preference) in that it is benefited by most other DLCs. The other DLCs are not required to enjoy it, but they add that little bit of extra flavor.

The Step 2 DLC adds Birthday and Soiree. Birthday is Miranda's birthday party when she's fourteen and before she officially becomes the MC's friend, meaning you get the development of seeing the difference in the MC's and Cove's investment in her party then versus now, as well as how her taste in parties has grown. Soiree allows the MC to possibly meet Baxter earlier than Step 3 and add to the "fate"/"destiny" angle if the player so desires.

The Step 3 DLC obviously allows for more Baxter in general with Boating and Late Shift, the former showing a much needed reaction from Lee if the MC is dating him at the time. It's also a good "starter DLC" for people who aren't sure about Baxter, allowing them to choose to interact with him if they want to get to know him more (as I mentioned before).

Derek's DLC lets the player meet Baxter in a different way during Soiree, something that can be brought back up with Derek in Step 3 and then again in Step 4 (to which he'll joke about the MC's meetings with Baxter in five year increments).

Even Cove's Wedding DLC can have advantage, bringing a soft conclusion to Baxter's story for those who don't want to play Baxter's Step 4 but still care for him, and/or something more dramatic following how he ends off Step 3 with the MC.

So one doesn't just get Baxter content; there's quality content from others and it can be further added to with other DLCs.

Not that the Baxter content isn't worth it all by itself either because I adore this man.

The Man

I'm a simple woman. Give me an intelligent man with simultaneously zero braincells and I am in.

I don't even like "playboy" type characters normally, but Baxter is actually charming and tries to make things clear to the MC from the beginning. He falters during the Step 3 ending but not because he was trying to keep it a secret; he genuinely didn't expect the MC to try to press him and deemed himself unworthy of their company.

I'd seen more than enough of rich boy plots where the rich boy is a perfect do-no-wrong type and it's everyone else's problem that they don't like him. Baxter, however, is a flawed character who not everyone is going to like (which is absolutely 100% fine and valid) and him being rich is not just something that influenced his self-esteem but also what he ultimately gives up despite having relied on that financial safety net for his whole life, showing a deeper sense of awareness as he got older.

I don't normally like fate/destiny stories either, as they often feel as though they're taking agency from one or both characters involved (in terms of forcing them to love/be in a relationship with each other), but Baxter's route isn't like that. It's the player's choice to have that dance in Soiree (which they can just as easily turn down), their choice to form a closer relationship with Baxter outside of the disinterested Cove, and their choice to choose Baxter's Step 4 when they have already one guaranteed "safe" option in Cove's Step 4 and a potential other "safe" choice in Derek's Step 4 if they have Derek's DLC.

The player is the fate, which coincidentally went into my first playthrough, as my MC was initially designed for Cove yet ended up being perfect for Baxter.

Baxter is so absolutely delightful and absolutely stupid at the same time. From his openness to be questioned by the MC followed by this assumption that he's like a stranger to them (meanwhile the MC and Cove being best friends/crushes right out of the gate if the player so chooses), to him talking about the play he and the MC go to while not seeing the obvious parallel to his own issues, to openly admitting that he doesn't want to leave the MC while making the decision himself to go no contact.

He unconvincingly uses the cupcakes as an excuse to not get more intimate with MC, he wants so badly to spend time with the MC that he's willing to risk letting them see him in his useless morning state (and is surprised when it goes wrong, at least in his mind), and tries to convince himself to not stay attached to the MC during Step 4 despite being unable to help constantly reminiscing on their time together.

At his core, he's a funny, charismatic sweetheart who wants to be loved, to be touched, to have someone in his life (even just a friend) that he can make happy, but his upbringing and deep-seeded insecurities make him cynical to the idea of being in a genuine relationship with someone. This causes him to constantly sabotage himself before he can make any progress. It's why he can prefer flings: he can use his money to make a passionate, pleasant time with his temporary partner, but not so long that he feels they'll find something disappointing in him.

Low-risk, high-reward.

This, of course, ultimately backfires by the end of Step 3, and it's perfectly structured to set him up for Step 4. The brilliant foreshadowing of him being skilled with planning events in a pinch, to Jude and Scott's long-distance relationship and Baxter claiming that they won't stay together, to Baxter insisting that it's unlikely for he and the MC to meet again (made funnier if they'd already met again before, if the MC saw him in Soiree), then Step 4 hitting where he's not only a wedding planner planning Jude and Scott's wedding, but accidentally/unconsciously putting himself into situations where he's "stuck" with the MC.

That starting instant where Baxter reacts to the MC in the restaurant, initially shocked and then having to bring himself back into a professional persona, apologizing for his immature self but sticking to only focusing on the wedding?

Not just a wonderfully-written hint to the player as to what they're in for, but very much a "I'm not stuck in here with you, you're stuck in here with me," situation. It's all about making Baxter as uncomfortable as possible so he can reflect, flying in the face of his thought that he could control everything and project what he thought about himself onto others. He can give advice to other people, but refuses to give the same to himself because he held himself to an impossible standard.

Once he finally figures that out, he's feels extremely guilty and apologetic towards the MC and everyone else. Him unloading all of his emotional baggage and work to do better is so satisfying after seeing it affect him in key moments like Drinks, Planning, the Step 3 ending, and finally Step 4. Underneath the facade he (weakly) attempts to put up for himself is a teasing gentleman who hates mornings, wants to see everyone around him be happy, and feels blessed just to simply have a relationship with the MC (real or temporary).

This isn't even talking about Baxter's perspective from a meta standpoint, adding layers on top of what's already there in the canon and adding even further when considering Baxter's appearance in the sidequel Our Life: Now & Forever.

The MC can learn in Sightseeing that Baxter had a crush on a kid who was doing ballet lessons while he did ballroom. Those who know anything about Now & Forever know that this is kid is Qiu, who's one of the two potential love interests there. Naturally, Baxter wouldn't have had a chance with them, as the only person Qiu can possibly fall for is the Now & Forever MC.

Baxter confesses in Step 4 that he's naturally drawn to the people who are "wanted by everyone else," which translates to Qiu (who is widely popular during Now & Forever's Step 1) and the MC (who is liked by most characters in the game and automatically crushed on by at least Derek). In the Cove Wedding DLC specifically, he adds that he is simply someone whereas Cove is the one.

Because here's the thing: in the eyes of the base game, he's not wrong. Cove is the game's focus, taking an active role in every step and being the first that the MC meets out of the potential love interests. He's the only love interest in the base game and his Step 4 is not just free, but the default.

Meanwhile, Baxter is just someone. He's a person who shows up in Sunset Bird for a single step - only showing up thrice - and then is entirely gone without his own Step 4. His DLC costs more than any of Cove's Step DLCs and the player already knows Cove, already has spent two steps with him, thus has far less incentive to get Baxter's DLC over Cove's own Step DLCs.

Then, despite Baxter appearing once in Cove's Step 2 DLC and twice in Cove's Step 3 DLC, most players won't experience the former (either due to focusing on Cove or not wanting to dance) and Baxter can be largely excluded in the latter if he happened to leave a bad first impression on the player.

And let's take it a step further. While Derek, like Baxter, doesn't have a Wedding DLC like Cove does, Derek can get into a marriage pact with the MC as early as Step 2, he can be dating the MC throughout nearly all of his Step 4, and the MC can agree to them moving in together before the ending.

Baxter has none of that. His DLC's story is steeped in drama and the earliest the MC can properly get together with him is after the wedding. There's no chance at a proposal (such as what can happen with Cove's Step 4, where they MC can date and then propose within an equally short timespan), no opportunity to move in with him, nothing.

He takes time, work, and actual money to get into a relationship with, whether platonic or romantic. It's a level of investment that not everyone would be willing to put in for someone, especially when only one Step 4 can be chosen out of the whole bunch.

Baxter's insecurities come from a very real place. His parents treated him like a child, all while expecting him to behave like someone their age, and they deliberately picked a town for him to go to that was near the ocean he feared (where it was unlikely for there to be people his age around) to keep him in check. In his mind, he's "broken" and incapable of being with anyone long-term.

Furthering that, there's a joke he makes about "being too late" if the MC and Cove are in a relationship by the time he appears, back when he wouldn't have considered himself a worthy partner anyway (also a bit of out-of-universe humor over how the MC couldn't get together with him whether they wanted to or not, due to being unable to break up with Cove). Despite that, he's pleased as punch to see the MC dating/married to Cove and hopes the best for them regardless of his potential attraction.

Baxter puts forth so much effort to try and make the MC's last summer in Sunset Bird memorable with the thought that he won't be seeing them ever again. The potential relationship he can have with them is the most stable he's ever had and it scares him when they make him feel wanted and important. All the while, he's convinced that the MC's friends and family are "better" than him and he'll only bore the MC if he remains in contact with them.

With his DLC, the MC - the player - get to prove him wrong: an MC who is liked by everyone and loved by up to three different interests, but end up choosing him in the end. Cove and Derek are "easy" and the MC has undoubtedly spent more time with them in comparison to Baxter - who would feel that either guy could make the MC happier than he could - but they have the chance to show that he is the one that makes them happy.

Baxter is so absolutely amazed to be in a relationship with the MC that he willingly takes in all the shocked reactions and potential backlash from everyone else due to his five years of going no contact. He's regretful when he finds himself back in old habits and eager not just to message the MC multiple times per day after they return home, but also to take time off to go visit them after his Step 4 is over.

I think that makes for an incredibly special experience: to have someone who comes last out of the three possibilities, doubts his true potential, and eventually realizes how misguided he is. It's not about who got the most time with the MC, or who got "dibs" on meeting them first, or what can be accomplished the quickest in their time with them.

It's about the MC forming a bond with someone, picking him despite the difficulties/limitations because they love him that much, the work he's willing to put into it in return, and finally the happiness that comes out of it.

For those reasons and even more, the Baxter DLC is by far my favorite.

[melliotwrites]

Why was Anthony’s part in I Breath In, You Breath Out changed from his little “Do you love him or just what his last name implies?” to him not coming in till the end?

Good question! The new B-section in I Breathe in, You Breathe Out is a callback to Hao's I Want Song (which of course nobody knows because it wasn't part of the reading, but the reprise is meant to underscore Hao's character development -- he goes from wanting to avoid the past and not get too attached to any one place in his first song, to caring deeply about Józef and the ranch and wanting them to know him in what is basically his last song.)

Someone in the rehearsal process (maybe our director? I forget) pointed out to me that it is super rude for Anthony to intrude upon Hao recounting all his sweet memories with his boyfriend by asking if he really loves him. I think part of this adjustment process was that I didn't realize how powerful the I Don't Know You Anymore + I Breathe In, You Breathe Out double-whammy was until I saw them performed. Hao is really Going Through It™ at this point in the show -- the last thing we want to hear is Anthony questioning whether or not Józef is in love with him, or whether Hao loves Józef. It came across as insensitive at best and funny at worst, which is not where we wanted to land in that moment.

I did love "Do you love him or just what his last name implies?", but it felt a little overwritten for the moment -- I decided it was a kill your darlings situation. A lot of this overall reshaping of the Ghost Story script was sublimating themes that were explicit in our first draft to make the story smoother (and make the piece more complex and interesting!) We know the musical is about race and identity, but when a character says "Well, how does your race and identity play into that?" it means the story... collapses, for lack of a better word. I sometimes liken it to seeing the edge of a metal skeleton through a beautiful fabric creature-- yeah, I know the writers have a message they want to give me, but I also want to believe that they didn't and I figured it out all by myself. This is what "overwritten" means to me -- written defensively and awkwardly, to prevent misunderstanding, instead of as a complicated, delicate compact between the writer and the audience, assuming good intent on both sides.

So, the main impetus behind that edit was to make that moment a little more soft, subtle, and gentle. Sure, Anthony is doubting whether Joey likes him (and whether he likes Joey,) but we thought if he didn't ask those questions directly, he can have a more complex relationship to the past couple than just "figuring out what love is." Now, seeing Hao regret not discussing his past with Józef allows him to realize he's avoiding the same thing with Joey -- and that he might not have as much time as he thinks to figure out if he loves him. The similarities between their relationships, pointed out in the final verse, allows Anthony to believe Joey loves him -- but the B-section tells him what he has to do about it, and encourages him to test that love (and be ok with walking away if Joey can't handle him being honest about his cultural background.) This take on that moment also lead more neatly into The Ballad of Jimmy July, which didn't exist before.

There were also some minor lyrical things I never felt were quite perfect in the last B-section; I didn't want to be misunderstood to be endorsing the opinion that Only People In Love Can Have Sex with the "feels like a chore" line; obviously consenting adults should be able to have sex with whoever they want, and one kind isn't better or worse than the other. And for some reason rhyming "stew" and "you" always bothered me -- the reason "stew" was in there at all is to adapt a Chinese idiom (basically "those in love can survive on water alone"), but it always felt awkward to me, especially for its important placement as the second-to-last line in the B-section. Sorry for getting granular with it, haha! Writing lyrics is hard and one detail can fix or topple a whole song. Hope that's interesting!

~Mel

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 1

Summary: June Maxwell, football star. Ben Chilwell, ex football player and tv pundit. Life had broken her heart (figuratively) and his (quite literally). But when they were together, their pieces became whole.

Author's note: Finally found the inspiration to write another story with Ben! I was expecting to start posting it while surronded but lots of new content, but his hamstring had other plans 😔 So I hope that at least it helps you miss him a bit less. It is another enemies to lovers story (kind of), I am sucker for those 😅 The character of Vittoria, one of June friends and teammates, is completely made up, but all the other players mentioned are based in real people. Hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

"I can't believe we are starting another season already. It feels like yesterday when we were playing our last game!"

"This summer has completely flown by. What do you think, June?"

"Uh?" she said.

"You weren't listening to us, were you?" Vittoria laughed.

"She probably was busy texting her hot dj" Lauren smirked. "Where is he now? Ibiza? Las Vegas?"

"He actually is in London."

"What?" both Lauren and Vittoria said at the same time.

"He's visiting his family and wanted to meet, but since we are playing in Liverpool and he is leaving tomorrow…" June shrugged. 

"That's what happens when you date someone famous" Lauren laughed.

"We are not… Son of a bitch!"

"Hey, I'm trying to nap!" one of their teammates complained from the other side of the plane.

"Sorry!" June said. "But I can't believe what I just read."

"What did the dj do?"

"Him? Nothing. It's Mr. Chilwell. He says I don't deserve to be one of the captains!"

"Oh my God, June. Why do you keep paying attention to him?" Vittoria said, rolling her eyes.

"Because I can't understand why he is so obsessed with me."

"I've always thought he is in love with you."

"What?" June laughed.

"I think he is in love with you but has to be mean on camera because if he praises you, people will notice and he will never see the end of it" Lauren explained.

"Ben Chilwell in love with me? Please."

"Think about it. It makes sense" she shrugged.

"No, it doesn't."

"It does for me" Lauren shrugged again. "And you would make such a cute couple... Even your last names rhyme. Maxwell and Chilwell" Lauren smiled.

"You've gone mad."

"Oh, c'mon. I haven't forgotten about the huge crush you had on him when we all were at the academy."

"Every girl had a crush on him, to be honest" Vittoria pointed out.

Benjamin Chilwell, Ben, Chilly. He had been one of Chelsea's most promising players, making it to the first team when he was 18 and becoming one of the captains at 21. But everything ended when he was just 23 and diagnosed with a heart problem. Playing football on a professional level was over for him, but he discovered he could still be part of that world as a pundit. He knew the sport, how to speak, and had the looks to be on tv because he happened to be stupidly handsome. He had been the crush of so many over the years for a reason. 

"Yes, everyone was in love with him. You included. And now you are two hot and successful adults obsessed with the other" Lauren said.

"I'm not obsessed with him. He is with me" June protested.

"Ok, fine. Maybe he is more obsessed with you. But his reviews are the first you always check and the ones that matter the most to you. There must be a reason behind that."

"That I don't get it! Have I done something to him?"

"Being talented, beautiful and simply amazing, which makes it easy to fall in love with you."

"He… urgh. This is the most pointless conversation ever." 

"If you say so…" 

"It is. Ben isn't in love with me, and I'm not in love with him, Lauren" June insisted.

"Then what is it, uh?"

"Maybe he's jealous because you have everything he wanted" Vittoria said.

Like him, June had grown up in Chelsea's academy, and even though she was a couple of years younger, their careers had followed a similar path. She made it to the first team at a very young age, being called by the national team not long after. She had become the star of both teams, winning individual awards right and left, the most important brands being interested in signing her as an ambassador. She was a star. And this season, she would be Chelsea's first captain, which to her was one of the biggest honours.

"See? That makes more sense" June said. "But still…"

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Ok, girls. Let's do this!" June cheered up her teammates before going into the pitch to do their warm-up. As she stepped out, she couldn't help but look to her left, to where the tv set was. To where he was. "Ok, focus" she said to herself. She was there to play football, to win. Not to think about a certain pundit.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"There goes June Maxwell. If she scores this penalty, it'll be a hat-trick for Chelsea's captain. She gets ready… and goal! What an extraordinary penalty by Maxwell." 

"No goalkeeper could have stopped that" Jacob said.

"If the goalkeeper had been better positioned, it would have not been that easy."

"Oh, Chilly" Andrew laughed. "New season but you haven't changed a bit."

"Pretty sure that her 1, 2, 3 and that smile at the camera was directed towards you" Jacob chuckled.

"What she should do is care about playing football, not what I say" Ben replied, his eyes focused on the replay of her celebration and the big smile on her face.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Lauren, what the fuck?" June said while reading the things her teammates had written on the ball from the game.

"What?" she shrugged.

"May this be the first hat-trick of many this season. Suck it, Chilwell."

"C'mon, June. You were thinking about him when you did the penalty celebration."

"I wasn't."

"You were. It was a beautiful fuck you."

"It… urgh."

"If it bothers you it's because you know it is true!" Lauren laughed.

And she wasn't wrong. June always gave everything on the pitch and tried to play her best, but she had been extra motivated that day. She wanted to show Chilwell how wrong he was about her, that she deserved to be Chelsea's captain, to lead the team. When the ball had gone in after that penalty, her first thought had been for him. And she had the feeling it would not be the last time that season…

[i-smoke-chapstick]

I was grazing through the jervis x reader tag when I stumbled across your account. I read over your rules and what fandoms(characters) you write for and was wondering if I could either get headcanons or just a story, whichever is easier, if Jervis tetch (Benedict Samuel’s version) spotting fem or gn reader who has dwarfism( and if you’re not sure with writing this, it can just be a really short reader), hanging about with Jim (Either can be Jim’s sibling or close friend up to you) and is instantly just “😍🫣”. This can be during the breakout episode with the j squad. He starts trying to get close to them without getting arrested by Jim, leaving rhyme like letters for them, flowers, etc. Reader takes the letters to Jim who instantly knows who it is cause who else rhymes like that? Reader is then unsure about Jervis’s actions, thinking they aren’t real feelings since he is technically mad and messed up in the head and they are hella shy and insecure for obvious reasons.

I just realized I’m reflecting a little here. Sorry 💀. Basically I have dwarfism and it’s lovely to read others interpretations on people who have it. Not just readers who are short but actually have the disability.

You can either continue from here or cut it to an ending btw. Sfw or NSFW is both fine with me. Thank ya tons! And I’ll understand if ya can’t or just don’t want too!

'WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW,

-GOTHAM!JERVIS TETCH X DWARF!READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Jervis is intrigued, obsessed, and very deeply in love.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!jervis x dwarf!female reader. Anon who sent this- thank you for entrusting me!! I absolutely love obsessed Jervis teehee. warning for pretty obsessive behavior. (jer has no sense of boundaries)

♫ “Tonight, you're mine completely. / Can I believe the magic of your sighs?” Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? by Amy Winehouse

You've heard the whispers from Jim. He's been freaking the fuck out, for lack of better words. Not just one mad man on the loose- but three. You tell him there's a mad men on the loose every other day...it's Gotham. He just sighs.

Three of the big bads escaped Arkham last night- only one of which who you'd met personally a few months back. Though, you remember it like it was yesterday.

You were in the GCPD with Gordan and Harvey when it happened. You typically avoided the place- the guys there were assholes. You heard all the same comments before, about how you looked. Thank god for Harvey and Jim- especially Harvey, who had chewed a cadet out for laughing.

Jim had holed himself up with a girl named Alice Tetch. He had advised you came to the GCPD that day, horrible idea, you had to admit. "It's for your own protection." He said, but had left you out of the interrogation room by yourself.

You facepalmed as you watched the officers do there work awkwardly. Every now and again you'd catch one staring and you'd grimace.

It came to a head when you heard a strange circus-like music playing. And then your jaw dropped when two wrestlers stood up on the desks, followed by the loud intercom of a voice overhead.

"Ladies and gentlemen! It is with great excitement that we welcome you to our show..."

And then a cop fell from the top floor and splat on Harvey's desk. Yep. Great idea Jim.

You felt yourself shaking- watching the scene unfold before you in chaos and horror. You backed up into the door- unable to move or run.

Suddenly- turning to your left, a man came into your vision. You had to look up to see him; tall and dark with a top hat.

He cocked his head as he looked down on you, eyebrows pulled together. You swallowed, and after a beat of silence, a strange smile broke out on his face.

He seemed to be studying you, paused in his movements.

"Hello." He greeted, curtly. It was as though he was making a mental note of you. Before you knew it, you were being pushed to the side- and made his way right into the interrogation room.

You feared for Jim, but he always had it handled. So...you ran towards a back exit and booked it.

Your luck would have it that now, in the present, Jervis Tetch (that's what you eventually learned his name was) was fiending for a new obsession. That just happened to be you.

The Arkham breakout happened just earlier last night, and you've found numerous letters, flowers, even an antique pocket watch, and light blue dress tailored to your size. Every where you went in your day-to-day a gift was tastefully and subtly placed.

"With every beat, my soul's unrest,

In dreams of you, I am obsessed,

In Gotham's night, you're my desire,

My precious door-mouse, in this world of fire."

Okay- well, a bit cheesy. The letters read...interesting poems. You found it strangely flattering.

You hadn't figured who it was until you begrudgingly went back to the GCPD to tell Jim- who gaped at you. At first, he was hellbent that this was Jervis trying to lure you in, kill you as punishment for the whole Alice situation.

You too found the whole situation confusing. But as the days continued to go by with more and more and more unique gifts and oddly heartfelt poems, it was getting a tad too real.

No, Jervis was most definitely infatuated with you.

Now, you're in your apartment. And you hear a gentle knock at the door.

You open a single latch, allowing you to peak out the creak before letting the visitor in.

You have to look up once again to see him, and you're blood runs both cold and hot and the man. He must stand at least two feet taller than you- looking deep into your eyes with the smile of a gentleman.

"May I come in?" He chirps, gleefully. Against your better judgement, you step away from the door, standing on your toes to unlock it.

He makes his way in, hands clasped together. He scans your apartment, noting his gifts strewn about. Even the flowers he bought you in a vase. His smile widens.

"Hello, my dear." He turns to you, happily. "I see you've gotten my gifts."

"Um, yeah." You manage to speak, sucking your teeth and fidgeting. Before you know it, one of your small hands is being engulfed by his own. He kneels down before you, so you're on the same level.

"Well?" He prompts, squeezing your hand gently. "What do you think, my dear door-mouse?"

"They were....really nice, actually." You speak- and flinch out of his hold. His brows furrow when you do this.

The first thing to run through his mind is that you don't reciprocate the feelings of infatuation. That's how Alice was. He wouldn't have any qualms hypnotizing you, that's for sure. But it would be nice to be appreciated.

You can tell by the offended look on his face what he's thinking, and rush to explain.

"No, no! I...I loved them. I guess, I'm just not sure why you're interested in me?" You nod to yourself. Not just referencing your disability- but your lack of any real conversation with the man.

His face lights up again in understanding.

"Ah! Trivial, my dear. On the contrary, I find you maddeningly lovely." He speaks- and forces his hand onto yours again.

All you can do is nod- a million thoughts racing in your head. You're sure he's crazy, but you find it...kind of nice.

He's incredibly handsy, sitting on his knees in front of you, manhandling you a bit. Before you know it, he's pulling you into him, spouting words of affirmation and nuzzling into you like a cat.

Briefly, you think of what Jim might have to say if he finds out about this and tense.

You realize this is just the beginning.

[bleachbleachbleach]

8/12 - 8/18/2024

I wrote a version of Renji 11 what is at this point several years ago (RIP me), and have since just been throwing random stuff/required additions into that Note with no rhyme nor reason, so it took over two hours this week just to sort it all out. But! It is sorted!

Modern-era Renji 11 consists of 3 new scenes and 3 already-existing scenes. I wrote 1.5 of the new scenes. As far as how well I think this Chapter is going, I dunno. As a narrator, Renji’s kind of like, oh hey, here’s a thought I had. And here’s another one! Which feels legit but I’m not sure if it allows the reader to understand which pieces of information are actually important for following the narrative.

You know those reblog memes that like, ask people to identify hallmarks of your writing? The concept is fun, but it wouldn't work in practice because 0.02% of anyone who might see that post would have any familiarity with my writing. SO. I WILL SIMPLY TELL YOU. My hallmarks are that I love an interstice—love having things that should be on the cutting room floor not on the cutting room floor—but am also a firm believer in stories not needing to have every scene the characters experience to exist on the page. This combination means there’s a good chance that actually relevant, defining scenes simply do not exist and only the interstitial nonsense does. I think in certain stories this can be a real thing that works. I think it can also have the effect of nothing hanging together, making any sense, or meaning anything, without certain bits of key information/certain scenes that I simply did not include because they exist in my head and therefore exist everywhere right. I think that’s where this chapter is.

Maybe the remaining 1.5 new scenes will help ameliorate that, but I feel like that’s asking a lot of them. And then, theoretically, you’d think fixing the existing scenes would go more quickly than writing from scratch, but I don’t know that they will. Because the story leading up to this point has changed enough that the characters are in very different headspaces and perceptions of each other than they were when I first wrote those scenes. Well, that’s not true—Kensei and Renji are in a very different place with each other. Renji and Hitsugaya need to have the exact same conversation but, you know… better. And FRANKLY, I do not know whether entirely overhauling Kensei and Renji will be harder or easier than merely line-editing Hitsugaya and Renji. =_=;;

I’d really like to finish Renji 11 by the end of next week, and then take some time to finish out the revisions on Rukias 7 and 10, which are the most related to Renji 11. Then I’d like to go back to do final line edits on Chapters 4, 5, and 8 before heading into the big mess of revision that is Hisagi 9, because those revisions will be most related to Hitsugaya 12.

I’m not anticipating getting much done in September, because I have a major work deadline September 30th, and the rest of autumn will probably be kind of garbage, too, and I probably won't exist. But I would love to finish Part II (so, Chapters 12 and 13) by December. Well, speaking honestly, my original hope was that I would finish Part II by May, but here it is, August, and I am still working on Chapter 11. So: I would LOVE to finish Part II by December.

—

I did a low-res mockup of the fic banner several months ago (okay, this might have been last November). I pulled out some high-res assets to work with on Friday and played around with a new design I thought was fun, but it turns out design-wise the old mockup looks much more polished. Or it would, if I were using higher-quality materials. XD So I’ll probably go back to the old design. The only reason to continue with the new one is that it reflects the clusterfuck spirit of everything that happens in this fic, but I kind of like the way the old banner puts a pretty bow on the clusterfuck lurking beneath the surface. Maybe I’ll solicit opinions once I’ve made a more serious mockup of the first version.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

for the director's commentary game - I had a lot of fun catching the Portal references in On a Bright Day, Next Week (I actually went and replayed part of Portal 2 bc it made me miss the game, and then laughed at "well they definitely didn't win a Nobel prize for being immune to neurotoxin" bit even more bc I imagined Ed saying it as well). so! were there any references that were particularly fun to put in? and at what point did you realize the fic was going somewhere different than a more direct Portal AU? I loved the much deserved happy ending and healing ❤️

Ooh, thank you so much! On a Bright Day, Next Week is easily one of my favorite things I've ever shared.

I'm glad you mention that line, because Ed's version of it was I think the very first game reference that I put into the first draft outline! All of Ed's lines that mirrored GLaDOS' were very fun to consider just because of the differences in their characters - a surprising amount of them worked very well or at least rhymed, simply because Ed in this fic has such a a powerful undercurrant of anger about what's been done to him. Quite a few of Izzy's lines in his last chapter were adapted from the song at the end of Portal 2, which was very fun to work in because when GLaDOS says them it's with this sort of deeply bittersweet irony but with Izzy the same lines easily read more as a profound lack of self-awareness. I think it works really well!

As for when I realized how different the fic was going to be from Portal...I think that was about as soon as I started really daydreaming about getting it together, before I'd even started on the roughest rough outline! I often play the first Portal game when I just want to play a video game and want something quick, and I was thinking "I bet you could make an AU out of this," and about as soon as I started imagining Ed in the GLaDOS role I knew I wanted it to be different. Initially, I was thinking about Stede as a very direct Chell analog, but that just didn't seem very compelling to me, especially since I knew I was already going to have to make this a very character-driven story to make up for having to translate a puzzle-platformer game into a longfic. When I started thinking about what other reasons Stede could have for being there, that's what really started to tie everything together, I think. And I knew from the jump that they'd more than earned their happy ending!

Ask for director's commentary on a fic!

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Why hello,Hera here. I saw your Carmilla ramble and just wanted to say that I 100% agree. However,I feel like she makes sense somehow? Let me explain! We clearly see her as this respectable (yes,Velvette stay put) fairly modest woman, but I surmise that's a clear “don't judge a book by it’s cover” type of thing. And..yes,I would put photos but I cannot do that in anon...anyway.

Let's look at her. She is PERFECTLY portrayed as a hypocrite. Yes. Obviously there were some..character writing issues to say the least but she IS a hypocrite. Not just because she sells weapons; what does a hypocrite do? Say stuff and do otherwise, to their own advantage. She does everything she does to save her daughters and herself, saying to not cause war but outright attacking Vaggie AS SHE SET FOOT inside her chambers. She couldn't care less about other sinners,and that's WHY she sells weapons. She's a bad person, she sells guns to make other sinners outright attack eachother. Why? To bring more Sales of course. If you know you're in danger then..let's just say, wouldn't you sell your soul for some security? People have sold them for far less after all.

Secondly, notice how she's outright manipulating Vaggie,maybe Zestial even? She does absolutely NOT care about them. The only thing she has ever done for Zestial for all I remember in the show was stop Velvette from causing problems during the meeting,and when she felt like she was losing control over it — as someone manipulative would do — she shuts her down sending her away. She understood she f-cked up and TO NOT RUIN HER FACADE she literally admitted everything just to keep the strings stretched thin. And that's the thing about the final stretch: It can keep stretching for however long she wishes it to. After keeping it from people you must either speak up about it or let the situation fall into the hands of fate which isn't really reccomended when you're trying to guilt-trip someone with a heart wrenching Song,no?

ABOUT SONGS CAN WE PLEASE SPEAK ABOUT OUT FOR LOVE? that song is absolutely screaming: “I didn't tell you this for my own advantage but I'm trying to distract you by telling you to fight for who you love yes whoo totally cohesive with what the main trope is!”.

Last and probably least, we take english as the official and outmost canon language in which the show is written. However, in certain translations DURING the overlord meeting — more specifically while velvette sang respectless — she said “I warn you that sooner or later you will pay for it, If it were up to me I would kick you out of here!”. Now, I know this is probably to actually make it rhyme but IT'S NOT JUST THAT. Because if we take a little more objective view we understand that she is exactly the type to be so aggressive. She sells weapons,attacks Vaggie, Stays behind closed doors when she could've HELPED her, and look at what information she actively chose to withold versus what she said up until out for love? . Think about it,She cares for herself and for her daughters..which brings me up to the first point.

Now, you're probably right and she's Just badly written but THERE'S STILL HOPE! I hope-

Ah you are certainly onto something. I also noticed that she basically confirmed Velvette's words by shutting down the meeting just to not ay it directly. Like, it was a terrible choice. She's obviously not as strong and wise as she poses if one (1) loud lady was able to disarm her so quickly. She's as short tempered as Vox or Val considering that Vaggie she attacked for no reason. I honestly agree with everything that you've written because it makes sense. I'm sure her being just a hypocrite wouldn't bother me that much if it wasn't for the way the show frames her. I can't really describe it I feel like it insists, I should see her in a positive light. That's not the case with any other Overlord. Even Rosie is explicitly shown to be profit-driven and manipulative (don't get me wrong, I would die for this woman but she basically told Charlie "here's how you can convince my people to die for your cause without telling them that they will probably die"). But Carmilla is just fierce, protective, supportive and reasonable. Dunno, I hope they will fix her somehow in season 2 since she's probably not going anywhere.

[abcwordsurge]

hello my good friend mx surge! what kind of music do you like/prefer, genre-wise? got any favorite songs? and then can i get some favorite lyrics? smile! and. tell me what characters/stuff the lyrics make you think of if you'd like to go that far! doesn't have to be any characters I'd know about or even any at all. i am Curious <- all /nf! do as much as you like. i love asking questions and hearing your thoughts 🫡🫡 —marley

hello my wonderful friend marley! eeee I love talking about music. this is gonna be a long one

(disclaimer: I am admittedly Very Bad at genres, so I'm gonna give you artists and maybe you can decide for yourself what genres they are)

AJR is a big one, I could talk for days about AJR. they're one of the only bands I've been to a concert for (very very good concert, very fun, very dramatic, highly recommend, they are clearly showmen, not just musicians, and that makes for entertaining shows). I'm unironically following someone on tumblr who posts ONLY AJR stuff because every time I see the name "AJR" it's like a visceral reaction that makes me grin. ooh, also Twenty One Pilots. I love then. looking forward to their new album

I listen to a lot of broadway. some of my favorites are Be More Chill, Mean Girls, Six, and Titanic the Musical, just to name a few. I love seeing live shows especially- I saw Something Rotten not too long ago, and the Nick was BRILLIANT it. was, admittedly, a high school production, but nonetheless. he danced a lot, even unchoreographed dancing in the background, just like, vibing, and it was so obvious that he was just having a good time and enjoyed being there (the actor, that is, not the character) and I just liked watching him

oh, and Sleeping at Last! I first discovered them by their Atlas: Enneagram album, because I'm a nerd and adore personality tests (I'm an INTP and a 5 in case anyone was wondering), but I've been slowly absorbing the rest of their music, and it's all so beautiful

favorite songs... hm. I can't not say "2085," the closer to AJR's most recent album, and perhaps the most emotionally devastating song they have released as of yet (which is really saying something). best lyrics from that song are undoubtedly the last bit, where they say "you gotta get better, you've all that I got," then it gets softer and the lyrics change to "I gotta get better, I'm all that I've got." HEARTBREAKING /pos. I mean, I like that part enough that I wrote a whole fic inspired by it. one of my very few angst fics. "All That I've Got," a Minnesconsin fic (link here if you're curious). by the way, the first song of that album, "Maybe Man," is also a banger, highly recommend

I love "96000" from "In the Heights" (I think it's only in the movie version, not the musical version? not 100% sure though). ooh this song makes me crazy. this song... ok. I can't talk about this song without being a bit weird about it, but stick with me. this song always makes me think of the people on the Titanic. I read a book once with fictionalized versions of a few of the Titanic's officers and crew members, and once I was listening to this song and when it got to Sonny's verse, all I could think about was how exactly it matched fifth officer Harold Lowe's vibes. it's not really the lyrics, but several of the verses just remind me of various crew members' vibes. and it's. it's just a great song

"Air Catcher" by TOP. that's another wonderful song. always makes me think of Iowa to Wisconsin, for no particular reason. best lyric is "I don't believe in talking just to breathe," which is an idea that always appealed to me

Tyler Joseph is a BRILLIANT lyricist, actually. other great lyrics by him:

"our words are loud but now I'm talking action" (Neon Gravestones)

"for us to think is to be alive / and I will try with every rhyme / to come across like I am dying / to let you know you need to try to think" (Car Radio)

"death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit" (Heavydirtysoul)

"haunted by a couple big mistakes / she covers all the dents with the way she decorates" (Redecorate)

"like an "I love you" / that isn't words / like a song he wrote that's never heard" (Shy Away)

I love "despair" by leo. always makes me think of florida talking to loui (in a queerplatonic way, of course). another great floui song is "Tightrope" from The Greatest Showman, but I picture this one as loui to florida

holy moly this is even longer than expected. I'll leave you with this for now. you've probably gotten a good grasp of my taste by now haha. thank you sm for the ask, I had a delightful time answering :D

[thequietesthing]

since everyone is giving their two cents about the new taylor swift album, i’ll also do the same (it’s more like ten cents cause it’s very long sorry)

first of all, this album (i’m talking about ttpd: the anthology with all 31 songs) can be truly appreciated once you hear it at least twice with the lyrics right in front of you. the reason for this, imo, is pretty simple; the first thought i had while listening to this the first time (and be mindful of the fact that my mind was huddled with sleep bc it was very early) is that it sounds like a diary, more than any other of her previous albums. which is why, i think, that the people that don’t particularly like it may never have kept a personal diary in their life. and i’m not talking about gratitude journals, i’m talking about “teenage petulance” written words, with anger, resentment, hope, love and sadness. which would very well explain the lack of “storyline” that i’ve seen people complain about, in the sense that she doesn’t create stories within her songs but only verbose imaginaries. when you write in your diary you use metaphors, analogies and periphrasis but since it’s something raw and yours you don’t need to craft a story about it because the diary it’s something you write for yourself, so you don’t need to make the effort of making something “pretty” as it’s not supposed to be read by anyone else. it often feels like an unending river flow of messy words because that it’s how writing your own feelings looks like. also the fact that she often reports pieces of dialogue she imagines hearing or that someone actually said it’s a very typical trait of diary entries.

second of all, the games of assigning which song to who can be fun for like the first two hours but then it gets very freaking boring. if you don’t understand that everything that she writes she writes about how she feels and about how other people make her feel you have not been paying attention. she is the main character; if the issue for you is whether that song is written for that person instead of another, you are giving more importance to secondary/recurring roles than to her. these are her words, her story. and i’m not saying it’s not fun ok, catching references to ex-boyfriends or other people, but you can’t, and you shouldn’t, make an entire album that she wrote about her personal intimate experiences about someone else.

to circle back to the lyrics, i think that this album may be one of her best works. they are smart on both a linguistic and metaphorical level. as someone who deeply enjoys english as a language i always have the time of my life listening to her albums and her choice of association of words, themes and rhymes.

a last point regarding the tunes. i am by far the last person that knows anything about music, you give me a pretty tune and i usually like it regardless of where is from (cue my very eclectic music tastes) so when everyone said that all the music sounded alike i was like uhmm. when i heard it a second time (guys the key it’s really in this!!!) i was like no they are different from one another. but also, and this may be a little far fetched so feel free to disagree but it’s what i perceived, is that in this album she may have put much more effort in the lyrics than in the music. not always obvs she is a musician after all, but i think that the turning point here, the thing that she wants us to pay attention to, are the lyrics (also why it’s called tortured poets department and not tortured musicians department :))

to sum everything up, i really really enjoyed this album when i listened to it the first time but i’m appreciating her skills and understanding her lyrics more the second time around. it’s an album that has to be let marinate, like a sauce, otherwise is gonna taste a bit acidic. anywho this is just my opinion, i just needed to tell it to someone and the irl people in my life are not willing to listen, so people of tumblr you are the unfortunate recipients of my two cents on ttpd :)

[gamequoteshowdown]

Quote 1: "They all helped me realize that... the 'prince charming' I was seeking for so long was actually a princess, and she wasn't as far off as I thought." - Shannon LaFae, Heart Fragment, Book 2: Belief Fragments

Quote 2: "We do not have much connection, you and I. Still, this encounter feels special. I hope you won't mind if i think of you as a friend" - Solanum, Outer Wilds

Propaganda

Quote 1: IT'S CUTE. IT'S QUEER. IT'S GAY. IT'S ABOUT HER BEST FRIEND SHE HAS KNOWN FOR 10 YEARS. Shannon LaFae is one of the most well-written characters in a well-written series. Her route is so realistic character and emotion-wise. It is angsty and romantic as hell and it will make you feel ALL the feels. The thing about Shannon is that she acknowledges all of her past relationships with ex-boyfriends and she knows that they have helped her grow as a person. SHANNON YOU ARE BEST GIRL !!! - Submitter

Quote 2:

The whole game centers around the Nomai and their sudden deaths. A whole species wiped out in an instant without rhyme or reason to reach Sol you have to go through the same tests and trials a Nomai would've taken to reach adulthood. All the while you're learning about these long dead people and how much they loved and lost. The echo they leave on the story is massive and is entirely through the writing on walls or logs they left behind. You hear about the couple separated by miles of space not knowing if the other survived. But they're dead. You follow the path the young of the dead once walked. There is a quantum moon that appears and disappears randomly landing on which is the goal of the trials. You learn what the dead once learned and are able to get onto the shifting moon and head to the place these people once worshipped. You've spent hours learning about them. You've spent hours reading the words of ghosts. Against all odds as you approach the place of worship. someone is THERE. A single Nomai who had traveled to the quantum moon to complete her trials just as the entire Nomai population was wiped. The quantum moon exists in several different states- Sol's corpse can be found on every single one but the final one where she lives. She is Schrodinger's Nomai and the only one left. You can speak to her by combining images together. The language gap is too big for proper communication. You combine the images of her and yourself. She has never met you. You have met her ghost hundreds of times. She is stained on the ruins of her people. She is their last whisper of their existence.Your people walk in the massive footprints they left behind and here you are finally meeting them. What is this meeting but special?I have 60 hours in this game. 60 hours of reaching out to the stars and learning of the pain and happiness and grief of the Nomai. What else could describe that relationship; if not 'Friend'? Anyways all this to say i let out the WILDEST sound when i saw Sol. Its dozens of hours thinking youll never meet them than BAM Sol comes into view. I cried when she called me friend. It rlly is a culmination of the whole game and the story of the Nomai - @the-silver-vessel, written in tags of first round

[masterjedilenawrites]

So I really love all your headcanons, but I'm definitely like you, I love a happy/soft ending! I know you're taking a break, but when you have time, might you try some hcs for 212th boys Waxer, Wooley, Boil, and Gregor please oh please? Maybe pet names for their s/o or how they are in love? Maybe some nsfw like their reaction to lingerie or fave position? No rush at all! You're amazing and I hope you're having a marvelous day!

May my friend! I held on to this one because I liked the challenge of exploring some lesser-known characters! Thanks for waiting. Let's see what you think of these...

(18+ only below the cut, please and thank you...)

Waxer: When this guy is in love, it's obvious to anyone within a 20 foot radius. He wears his heart on his sleeve and wastes no time in confessing his feelings as soon as he's aware of them. He's not one for pet names, he would rather use their actual name. It is what represents who they are as a person, and just hearing it makes him tingle pleasantly all over. He gets a kick out of any lingerie; if his partner thought he was touchy-feely before, now he really won't be able to keep his hands to himself. He's also pretty versatile with positions, so long as his hands are free to caress, squeeze, and fondle, he's into it.

Wooley: This one is very trusting and often "falls in love" without meaning to. His brothers know to keep an eye on things and help him figure out which ones are more helpless crushes, and which one is actually the one. After that, they let him loose, knowing his loyalty and passion will carry the relationship from there. He tries out many pet names, often blending their name into something silly but sweet. Bonus points for anything that rhymes. He is adventurous in the bedroom, always eager to please and try something new. He reacts to anything his partner wears with little heart eyes, but he's especially a sucker for plunging necklines and see-through fabrics (total boob/chest guy).

Boil: He is a little hesitant to fall in love. He is very cautious when trying new things and would much prefer to be wooed than do the wooing. He won't purposefully string them along but he does take his time in making the decision on whether or not to pursue something. He wants his relationships to be meaningful and long-lasting. He'll settle on just one pet name, something that is unique to them or their relationship that no one else could use. He gets flustered any time he sees his partner in underwear; lingerie renders him speechless. Especially if it's a sexy color like red or black. And he 100% loves to be sat on - his face or his lap.

Gregor: He develops his feelings in private and chooses to express them through actions. He's not shy. It's more of, he's in no rush to spring a confession onto anyone. He will patiently take care of them and wait for any signs that they appreciate his devotion before he makes further advances. He will settle on pet names like my dear and my love, he thinks they sound old-fashioned and he gets a kick out of that for some reason. In the bedroom, he is very relaxed, he will have fun or make love depending on the mood of his partner. He loves lingerie that draws attention to specific parts of their body, like teasing cut-outs or structured bodices.

~ ~ ~

Everything Tag (NSFW): @damerondala, @dangerousstrawberrypie, @harleyevanstan, @justanothersadperson93, @misogirl828, @itsagrimm, @theroguesully, @clonesimp, @techie-bear

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[danglovely]

Is there any rhyme or reason to how the deaths are portrayed in the Future Arc opening? I have theories.

Kyoko being hung seems like a reference to her leaning into her NG code. Most hangings aren't voluntary and her "death" wasn't either. She did choose Makoto over herself. Why all the extra blood though? ALSO YOUR BLOOD IS SUPPOSED TO BE PURPLE.

Asahina's stab to the belly is foreshadowing Monaca's trick. It wants you to believe it's real. That one is easy.

Sonosuke dies by NG Code in a betrayal to Ruruka. He appears to be getting set on fire in the opening. I've seen speculation to this referencing Jesus's and Joan of Arc's martyrdoms. This one is tenuous other than being crucified on a giant metal cross because, blacksmith.

Seiko is impaled by a lot of hypodermic needles. She's the Ultimate Pharmacist. Moving on.

Sakakura is cut in half and there isn't any blood. Really clear: he's being killed by Munakata's katana. Less clear: maybe there's some foreshadowing to his impending amputation.

Tengan is wrapped up in wiring and appears to be getting electrocuted. I dunno Mr. Mastermind, is that a hint that you're pulling Monokuma's strings? I doubt it.

Ruruka is frozen and shattered to pieces. She's kind of a complicated character and she ends up choosing her own life over those of her best friend and the person she loves. She dies trying to convince herself that she's going to be fine and that it's going to be easy to replace what she has lost. The poet in me wants to make some connections to the coldness of her actions or how she has to break herself by the end of the game, but it could equally just be random.

Bandai appears to be covered in blood, though my first instinct was it's actually indicating blood poisoning because he's the first one to go out via NG Code. I really do think that's what it was aiming for.

Gekkogahara is cut in half vertically. There is no blood and she appears to be hollow. I've always assumed this is to foreshadow that Monaca is posing as her.

Yasuhiro is wrapped in thorny vines. He's an interesting inclusion because he's the only one that doesn't actually participate in Monokuma Hunter despite being included in the opener.

Chisa looks like her wrist is cut and there are boxcutters in the background. Obviously this indicates her suicide and it isn't surprising as the dark realization of DR3 is that she was lost a long time before anybody ever knew she was. The interesting thing is that her blood looks like it's coming from the bangle, which could be because her actions aren't really her fault.

Gozu is wrapped in chains. I think this is meant to invoke his actual death, despite it being chains instead of cables.

Mitarai is impaled by arrows. He survives the series, so this one is curious. The only reference to arrows through the rest of Danganronpa is in Mukuro's trial in Trigger Happy Havoc. Byakuya speculates that they were tied together with duct tape and used as a blunt object to knock her out. I've seen it posed that this is a reference to Tengan's chuusen and shows that he's being targeted. I heavily doubt it.

Koichi is wrapped up at his wrists, thighs, and ankles. A bandage is covering his eyes and mouth. He sacrifices himself to save Kyoko by triggering his NG Code. It seems like his hat, tie, shoes, and flask are bagged up. I like to think that's because Kyoko is present for his death, as she would be the only one focused on preserving evidence.

Last off we get Munakata and Makoto shooting themselves in the head. They're paired because they represent the directions the Future Foundation can go and their suicides are an obvious clue to the true nature of the killer in Monokuma Hunter.

[greypetrel]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @theluckywizard for the tag! It's been fun to compile :3

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 6

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 356,534 (from last October. It's higher since I haven't upload a lot of ficlets I wrote here, oops)(But! it's my AO3 birthday, yeeeeh!)

3. what fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, there's a crossover with LOTR/Silmarillion. I don't know if I'll ever write anything solely on Tolkien lore, I tend to reason per OCs in stories and I feel slightly bad in treating other's characters as my own.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? - Home Was Never On The Ground (CullenxLavellan, long fic)(also known as Monster Fic) - She of Many Names (CullenxLavellan, a Dragon Age and LOTR - crossover) - The Night Before First Day (Some CullenxLavellan but very on the sidelines. it's Solas acting as Santa. And it rhymes.) - One For the Road (FenrisxLavellan, Angst is over 9000, 2 chapters.) - Death and All of His Friends (HawkexMerrillxIsabela, I'll get on with it but everything is on hold because I want to get Monster fic done before the year ends)

5. do you respond to comments? Oh yes, of course! Jumping on my seat and being very happy about it. I'm wordy, so chances are that comments will be answered with more lore.

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Death and All of His Friends, right now.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The Night Before First Day.

8. do you get hate on fics? Not that I know of. The worst hate I got in the fandom were some assholes who commented on an adoribull fanart here on Tumblr. I didn't want to learn how to say "F*ggot" in Russian, but I did. They didn't expect me to understand and reply in Russian, and they never got back.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? … Tried to. I'm self-conscious about my writing, so it never got posted. I don't know if it ever will. It was just to see if I could, but for now I'd rather keep it personal.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes! I love making connections between things and fiction and see similarities and who inspired some others. I have She of Many Names, which is a Dragon Age with Lord of the Rings crossover. There's some Silmarillion, but as long as highlighting characters background goes. A person on Instagram commented on one artwork of my Lavellan (miss cinnamon "I cry if you tell me that there are kittens under the rain" roll) asking me if she was Sauron. I laughed so art imagining her as an evil overlady that I HAD TO write it. "It's all a big misunderstanding".

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't, but I'd love to!

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship? You'll pry HawkexMerrillxIsabela from my cold, dead hands. HawkexFenris has the best ANGST. FaramirxEowyn. Been there since I was 10, will probably die on that hill. I see the fascination of Solavellan, but Cullavellan is there above, of course. And, MaharielxMorrigan. I am surely forgetting something, but it's one case of "I am asked what's my favourite movie and suddenly my brain thinks we never saw ONE movie in our life".

OH OH OH EnjolrasxGrantaire. I SAID IT.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I have another chapter half blorted down for One For the Road but I'm not feeling it. It's sliding towards a triangle and it's losing all the appeal to me.

16. what are your writing strengths? Oh shit, that's difficult ahahahahahah. As above, I'm self conscious about my prose. I'll try, tho.

Dialogue (been writing my own comics for years, those are just dialogue. I have exercise on that, ahahahah)

… angsty, emotional scenes?

People crying. watches Aisling

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Language and mispellings. English is not my first language, and as every person who speaks more than one, I have a very confused brain. I re-read my own writing again but there's always something missing. I also tend to write prose without a precise plan: I started writing fanfiction after YEARS of not writing prose after some comments that caught me in a moment when I was particularly fragile and convinced me my prose was never going to be ok. In order to ease me back into it, I started writing Monster Fic purposefully without a plan of action or a plotline not to stress myself too much and convince my brain it's just a hobby to relax. It worked, but in long fics I prefer having plans, I read it again and I think it shows that there's little planning ahead. When synthesis ability was being distributed, I was trying to pet a dog.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Uh, English not being my first language counts? xD Beside that: I wrote some SIMPLE lines in wannabe-Latin, some words here and there in French. If it's something long, tho, I'm against it. Personal preference, I'd rather have my readers understand what's being said if it's important, rather than showing that I know more than one language. Personal preference, I also tend not to like movies that are all done in dead languages that nobody speaks, with subtitle. Glad the writer can master ancient Latin, here's a cookie, now what.

19. first fandom you wrote for? … Inuyasha in middle school. I drew small comics for my friends over it. And, I drew a parody comic of the Iliad in my first year of high school, which is the first fandom with a COMPLETED fic.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written? … Still with the difficult questions AHAHAHAHAHAH. These two because I got to use friends' blorbos and I was so nervous but also had the best of times: - Three Cards Trick [ Maria Hawke becomes the official third Science Sibling. They adopt a skeleton. ] - Saving Grace [ Aisling as a companion for Kerry Hawke in DA2. She refuses to pay for elfroot, but will find a way to acquire "some" from the Templars. ]

- Could be Worse. [ Mahariel, Morrigan, and Aisling becomes Ghost Hunters in modern time New York. It should have been a scam. ] I live for quotations and it set my head on fire and it's yet another modern AU I'll get back to sooner or later.

- Death and all of His Friends. [ Raina Hawke, human disaster but mildly successfull trash raccoon, fucks up royally at the end of Act 2.] Originally prompted by salsedine but I'm linking the polished AO3 version. Raina Hawke won the lottery of having issues similar to mine, and writing her has always some form of therapy. But I did it, I like the three parts, and I completed it and posted it anyway.

- Not the Years but the Mileage. [ Booby traps in the Temple of Mythal. Cullen breaks stuff that should be in a museum. ] And this one because again, quotings. Arbor Wilds (that mission is flawed, but the environment? Not.). And that piece of dialogue where Aisling can't talk and Cullen just understands her mumbling.

- Something Fishy. [ Raina and Garrett Hawke, loyal knights at the court of the Red King of Amaranthine, gets sent on a... Fishy mission.] This was probably the funniest to write, and nothing. I thrive in angst or in absurd crack fics, and this by now is my peak crack.

... I wrote for years and I hope it was remotely interesting.

TAGGING BACK: @shivunin @ndostairlyrium @heniareth @oxygenforthewicked @rosella-writes @scribbledquillz @star--nymph @zenstrike and YOU who are reading.

[jovianjournal]

March 2024

Should i just do one big post for novels and comics at the same time? Anyway, here's the novels i read in march, mostly SFF plus one romcom

Uprooted -- Naomi Novik, French translation by Benjamin Kuntzer

A young woman is sent to the local wizard's tower as a yearly tribute (or something like that) where she learns magic and try to discover why the forest is being weird. Very long and frankly a little boring, i had pretty high expectations and i was a bit disappointed. At first it seemed right up my alley, there were some blue beard, dark fantasy vibes... that kind of went nowhere tbh. most of the characters are extremely annoying (although i did like Agniezka as a protagonist! and her friend Kasia. it could have been gay... it should have been gay!!) and the plot felt stretched out for no reason. But i did enjoy the old folk tale aesthetic, the magic system based around rhymes was beautiful.

*

A Study in Drowning -- Ava Reid

A college student is sent to a crumbling mansion by the sea for an architecture project, alongside her academic rival, mystery ensues. The vibes were perfect, the rising sea, the damp air, the raging storm, water everywhere. I have one complain tho: I spent the Whole Goddamn Book SCREAMING at the characters "why aren't you checking this One Thing???" and as soon as they did check this one thing the mystery was resolved. so that was a little annoying.

Overall I really liked this book, i'd recommend it if you're into Dark Academia, A House as A Character, and metaphors about sexist and sexual violence. Also the writing is really pretty! i want to read other books by this author.

*

The Mars House -- Natasha Pulley

disclaimer: i love Natasha Pulley So. Much. she is probably my fav author currently, and i am very aware that she tends to always write the same book, but listen : i am autistic and i like knowing what im getting into and knowing that im going to like a story before investing the time in it.

That Being Said, i have two and a half pages of notes in my journal that boil down to "i didn't like this book as much as i hoped :/". This is a sci-fi story about immigration and xenophobia where one of the main character is a martian right-wing politician and also there's some Gender Stuff in martian society that felt a little terfy? (which is weird bc basically in this book Martian society has Abolished Gender). I still adored this book! i'd wholeheartedly recommend it! the writing is spectacular, i loved the characters, the worldbuilding is super interesting, there's fun tragic irony where you know what's going on while the characters don't, there's fricking Mammoths. Read it, and then read The Watchmaker of FIligree Street, and then read the Kingdoms, and then read all of her other books.

*

Ariah -- B. R. Sanders

I don't know how to describe this book. A 400-page character study about a Pretty Annoying Guy? I think i picked it up bc i was looking for books with polyam relationships and that's why i powered all the way through it. I actually don't remember much about the plot. It's a high fantasy story, the main character has mind powers he has trouble controlling, he's kind of a dick to his lovers, every time something important happens the narration completely glosses over it. Reading over my notes, i did like the last part of the story, and the happy end felt deserved. don't have much more to say.

*

Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake -- Alexis Hall

Alexis Hall is another one of my comfort authors, im slowly getting through their bibliography. this one was okay! it's a great british bake off fan fiction, it was fun (but not as good as the Stucky fanfic). good banter, tropey plot. averages to and okay book.

[thephantomcasebook]

Dude, I saw your rant on another site about how much stuff got changed in the "Dance of the Dragons" canon from the last time you read it.

Bro ...

BRO!

You're mad now at all the shit that got changed? You should see "Rise of the Dragon" illustrated book that just came out.

He changed it again!

Now, not only does Criston not die trying to rescue Alicent. But he changed it so now Aemond and Helaena don't even die on the same day.

What the fuck?!

Why can't he just stick to what he wrote the first time?

Ugh, that's it.

You got me started!

I'm started now!

Batten Down the Hatches!

CONTEXT!

After a deluge of people accusing me of 'making stuff up' and 'writing fanfiction' ... finally some old trusted friends from the "Game of Thrones" fandom days messaged me and said simply:

"Matt, you're not wrong. But neither are the douches ... that shit isn't in there anymore."

And I was confused.

So your boy went down to the rich people's "Target" and purchased the updated, tie in, version of "Fire & Blood" to see what got changed.

...

turns out ... EVERYTHING!

Everything's fucking different now.

First of all, now there's no ambiguity of if Alicent was actually in love with Criston. There isn't a mystery of if Criston was really Rhaenyra's friend or if he was just doing his job. No more rumors of a secret Criston and Alicent affair on the side (Yes - fuck you - that shit was in there! I ain't crazy!)

The entire relationship is now boiled down to Pro Rhaenyra maester said that Ser Criston wanted to runaway and Rhaenyra said gross! And Mushroom said that Criston said 'Begone thot!' and Rhaeynra immediately went and jumped Ser Strong till she break boned.

The whole - Queen Alicent brought Ser Criston back into her confidence with open arms and he was forever seen with the Queen's favor in Tourney and Battle - is fucking nowhere to be found anymore.

There's now almost an entire page defending Daemon's creepy relationship with Nettles and if he did or didn't fuck her. When, in the original it just says that - yeah, he probably fucked her - Rhaenyra was big mad, he didn't care. Now, Martin has gone back and wrote some meta lawyer shit about the philosophy of their relationship and how she was some perfect fucking successor to Daemon's coolness and that, no, their relationship was actually beautiful.

Also, Nettles was fourteen fucking years old! Now she's at the age of consent in most countries and states in America.

The timeline is all fucked up. There was a rhyme and structure to the war! Now, it's all weirdly mixed up and things happen at the same time for no reason. like King's Landing now falls to the rioters ... before the second Battle of Tumblestone? The moment that Rhaenyra abandoned the city and the dragons died - Daeron would be racing in to take the city and rescue Alicent! He wouldn't even think about it, he'd just go!

Oh and, don't even get me started on the retroactive Daeron retcon!

They not only took out the whole bit about Daeron being Alicent's sworn shield and his rivalry with Larys Strong. But now they legitimized what was clearly the Maester taking liberties with his history in which the subtext was clear that Daeron was the commander of the Southern Army. Now, there's only the part about him being young and indecisive as a leader. When in the original text it was obvious that the Maester was simply retroactively rewriting history to biggen-up the Hightowers who were loyal to Aerys when the book was being written .

Gone now is the passages where no one wanted Daeron Targaryen smoke. That he was an incredibly dangerous fighter and extremely brave. Not only that but with removing his beef with Larys and tampering down of his hated rivalry with Hugh Hammer there also goes the biggest part of his character. He was the readers' evil detector. All the people that Daeron had feuds with were genuinely evil people - some of the most evil in the entire book. Which was supposed to show you that this guy was the best of both sides.

Listen, if two of the evillest people in the book - Hugh Hammer and Larys Strong - hated Daeron's guts and were afraid of him ... what the fuck does that say about Daeron as a character and who he is as a person?

There's entire scene where Daeron and Hugh Hammer - the biggest and baddest dude in all of the Seven Kingdoms with the biggest dragon in the world - are arguing. And Daeron throws a goblet in the dude's face for claiming that Aegon ain't shit and that he - being a Targaryen Bastard and rider of Vermithor - should be king instead. Hugh Hammer, bodybuilder physic, goes at him for the bloody nose. And Daeron doesn't back down, he squares up to this giant ass mutha'fucker and looks him dead-ass in the eye without flinching.

Hugh Hammer, rider of "The Bronze Terror" actually backs down when going eye to eye with Daeron "The Daring" Targaryen. Imagine a dude as big as a professional wrestler - like "The Rock" sized dude - with roid rages issues and is a brutal rapist and murderer and he blinks first at this seventeen year old Knight who just wants his mommy back?

That's straight Alpha shit right there!

Now, in the new tie in version, Daeron just throws wine in his face, they take out the straight alpha shit of backing Hulk Hogan down, and basically just cut to the part where Hugh Hammer storms out. Then, they cut out the anticipation and build up of this coming duel between them and instead sub in this secret Illuminati murder meeting that Daeron wasn't even at.

Now, you're telling me there's a new book out and he's changed it again?! That they're even changing Aemond and Helaena dying on the same day? And Criston isn't even dying to rescue Alicent anymore? That was crucial to his entire character arc! He dies for his queen! The woman he loves and worships as a saint!

Criston Cole is the opposite of Daemon! When Alys tempts him, he says no and stays true to his vows and Alicent! When Daemon is tempted by Nettles, he can't bend her over fast enough! Daemon abandons his wife and children to run off with an underage girl! Criston dies trying to get back to the woman he loves!

That's the contrast!

Rhaenyra ignored all the rules, got everything she wanted, and it turned out to be empty!

Alicent sacrificed everything for duty and she found loyalty, devotion, and love from those around her!

Ugh ...

I'm so annoyed.

What the fuck is point in reading any of this shit if Martin is just gonna continue to change it?

At this point, I'm just gonna wait for Season 2 ... that'll be the only canon I'm gonna adhere by.

[domini-porter]

hi there I'm new here and I really really like your fic but I was wondering: is there a reason why you don't always use subjects in your sentences? it's kinda cool it's like a thing that makes it stand out that it's one of your stories when it's like that, but I wondered if it was like, stylistic, or if there's some other reason?

Oh ho HO, my day of reckoning has ARRIVED. I was (actually, truly, sincerely) tip-tapping last night and going through and adjusting (ie, removing) subjects from various sentences and wondering if anyone else noticed, and how they felt.

It’s a few things! First, yes, it’s just a constant quirk of my writing style, and it’s what I tend to default to. I find excising subjects helps keep individual units of text (sentences, phrases, etc) more propulsive; I tend to write in long, dense chunks—I also text and talk that way—and while you can pry my beloved triple emphasis from my cold, dead, still-clawing hands, subjects are the easiest thing for me to cut so I can maintain at least some sense of pacing and movement.

Two! I write almost exclusively about lesbians, and there are a lot of scenes where people who use the same pronouns aren’t doing a lot of direct address (with words 😉) and using “she [x]” gets super-confusing, and I find it personally extremely irritating and immersion-breaking when characters constantly use each others’ names as a tool for the writer or reader to keep the action in a scene comprehensible. So I try to find news ways of making sentences; restructuring, shifting information to dialogue, etc. Since I’ve been writing ladies in love for so long, one of my default ways of maintaining clarity is, uh . . . making it seem like it would be less clear? by which I mean training myself away from subjects.

Three (prob most relevant): I was trained up as a poet and experimental fiction writer. Even though I’ve shifted to long-form fiction, those little quirks and habits and preferences are awfully hard to break; maybe a more reasonable and realistic possibility is that I just never learned how to write . . . normal? I’m absolute shit at grammar because as a poet/experimental writer, grammar is more like another tool (like word choice, line breaks, rhyming, etc) than a standard, and even if that’s not necessarily ideal on the standardization front, I have a piece of paper saying I’m a master of writing in my own weird style, which I’m sure didn’t help the ol’ creative ego.

Three (A): When I was in grad school, one of the instructors (a very well-respected poet and editor) did a whole lecture on his hatred of the word “it” and while that’s not exactly what you’re asking, he instilled in me an aversion to using the word “it” in favor of more specific language, which sometimes means sparser language. That talk burrowed into my brain and has remained there, hissing but what is ‘it’ for the past fifteen years.

Also I really like Cormac McCarthy.

Anyway, I’m glad you think it’s cool! I also think it’s kind of cool. Fun and zippy or breathless and intense. Hopefully not too distracting!!