#I love how the format of this came out ! It’s meant to sort of look like a face card in a pack of cards

[mertensia]

” Is this just our secret ? “

Love love looove what these two are plotting this season, I cannot wait to see how it plays out !!

Alt version under the cut !

[atlabeth]

mine forever

request from @nghtwngs

pairing: nikolai lantsov x fem!tidemaker reader

a/n: SO sorry for posting this early and having to delete 💀 i was formatting and didnt realize i was not saving it as a draft lmao. but thank you for sending this in love!!! and PLEASEE send in as much nikolai as you want i miss writing for him so much

wc: 1.4k

warning(s): hurt/comfort. reader is insecure, nikolai is the sweetest as usual

join in on my 3k celebration!!

“You’re avoiding me.” 

Your eyes didn’t move away from the horizon when you heard Nikolai’s voice, though you felt your muscles tense. 

“Clearly not well enough,” you remarked. “Seeing as you found me.” 

“You know I’ll always find you,” Nikolai murmured. “But that means little if you will not talk to me.” 

Of course you were not talking to him. You did not know how to talk to him—not when you so clearly didn’t understand the issue plaguing you. 

All you’d ever known was the life of a Grisha. You were tested when you were young, revealed to be a Tidemaker, and whisked away to the Little Palace, where you’d been honing your abilities ever since. You rebelled against the one thing you knew, joined the side of the Sun Summoner, and now you were in the midst of a war for the very survival of your people. 

There were so few Tidemakers left after the Darkling’s massacre, which meant Alina and Nikolai were counting on you more than ever in their fight to reclaim Ravka. 

But when you needed your powers most, they disappeared. 

You— you just didn’t understand, because it didn’t make sense. You’d spent years studying the Small Science and how to wield it, how to manipulate the water around you no matter how miniscule. 

This was not merzost. You had never tampered with the way of the world, never attempted to bastardize the abilities you’d been granted.

Like called to like. There was a part of you that connected to the water, that allowed you the affinity for all of this.  

You had just… lost it. For no apparent reason. 

“There is nothing to talk about,” you stated simply. The cold of the railing shocked your fingers as you set your hand down, but you welcomed any sort of feeling. 

“Do not be ridiculous,” Nikolai said wryly. He came out onto the balcony and stopped beside you. You could see him looking at you through your peripherals, could feel his intent gaze. “Nobody avoids me unless they have a reason.”

You huffed a bitter laugh. “I certainly have a reason, moi tsarevich.”

“So we’ve gone back to titles?” Nikolai’s lips quirked up. “Shall I start referring to you as Grisha? Tidemaker, even?”

You scoffed. “That would be inaccurate.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “We’ve reached the root of the problem.”

“We hardly did anything,” you said. “Do you talk just to hear the sound of your own voice?”

“I do, as a matter of fact,” Nikolai said. “But you should know your scornful words have no effect when I’m aware of your true feelings.”

“If you are aware of my true feelings, you should know I would like to be left alone.” 

“You want to be left alone because you feel useless without your power,” he said. “Any man worth their salt would not fall to that, and fortunately, I’m worth quite a lot.” 

You finally turned to look at Nikolai, though you could not muster the full force of your anger when you did. He had that slight smile still, the glint in his eyes, and all you could think was that you didn't even deserve this kindness. 

“Because I am,” you said. 

He shook his head. “You are not. Far from useless, actually.” 

“You served in the First Army, didn’t you?” 

“I hardly see how that’s relevant—” 

“Just answer my question.” 

“...Yes,” he said. “I was infantry. The 22nd Regiment.” 

“And if you had lost the ability to shoot a gun, would you be allowed to stay on the front lines?” 

Nikolai shook his head. “I will not participate in hypotheticals to help you feel worse.” 

“Because you know it’s true.” You looked back out at the horizon—the sun was steadily setting. “I have no place here anymore.” 

He said your name with a slight huff. “That is not true.” 

“I’m not Grisha anymore!” you exclaimed as you whirled back to face him. “The only reason I have ever gotten anywhere— the only reason I am here, the only reason I ever met you in the first place— it is all because of my power.” You pulled your jacket tighter around yourself in the wake of a cold wind. The material was noticeably thinner than your kefta, but you could not bring yourself to wear it anymore. “I’m useless now. To— to Ravka, to the Second Army— to you.” 

His brows furrowed. “You are not useless to Ravka— and you could never be useless to me.” You averted your eyes, unable to meet the full weight of his softened gaze, and his frown deepened. “That’s what this is about then? 

“Don’t act like it’s so ridiculous,” you muttered. 

Nikolai had the nerve to laugh, and you glared at him. He held up his hands in defense, but he could not fully bite back his smile. 

“I apologize, lapushka, but I did not even consider that as an option for why you were so upset.” 

Nikolai took your hands in his, hands that had been the key to your power the entire life, that were failing you, and he held them like nothing else in the world mattered. “Do you know how absurd the thought of me not loving you is?” 

You glanced away, but Nikolai gently cupped your chin with a few fingers and tilted you back to meet his eyes. 

“Because it is,” he continued, letting his hand fall back down to grasp yours. “I love you with everything in me. I love you because you are you—not because of your powers. Not because you are Grisha.” 

“Who am I if I am not Grisha?” Your voice came out as little more than a whisper, near a desperate plea. You’d never felt weaker, never felt smaller. The only thing you’d known all your life had been ripped away from you, and you felt as if you’d been shoved into an endless void. 

Nikolai said your name softly as he squeezed your hands. “You are a soldier of great renown. A revolutionary on the right side of history. The most loyal friend someone can have. And lest you somehow manage to forget it, you are the woman I love.”

“You deserve better than—” you swallowed the lump in your throat. “—than some broken, failed Grisha.”

“You are not broken,” Nikolai murmured, and he never looked away from your eyes as he lifted your hand to press a kiss to the back of it. “We are merely on… a different path.” 

“A different path,” you repeated, and you could not help your wry laugh. 

“Yes,” he nodded. “And we will go down every step of it together. Do you understand that?” 

Nikolai fought for everything he had, despite his standing as a Lantsov. He was a soldier on the front lines, he rose through the ranks on the sea under a pseudonym, and now he was clawing his way through useless formalities in order to take back the throne that he deserved. 

And here you were—someone who was given everything because of some power inside you. And now you didn’t even have that. 

It just did not seem right. It did not make sense. For a man as powerful as Nikolai to stick by your side despite such a misgiving. 

“If you don’t, that is alright.” Nikolai shrugged. “I will just have to spend extra time showing you how much I revere your very being.” 

“Nikolai,” you murmured, and his grip on your hands tightened. 

“I cannot pretend to understand what you are going through,” he said. “I cannot lose what you have lost because I’ve never had it in the first place. But I can promise you wholeheartedly that we will figure out what is wrong. Together.” 

“And what if we don’t?” you asked. You couldn’t help it. 

“Then nothing will change,” Nikolai vowed. “Milaya, nothing can tear me away from you, whether you are Grisha or not. Do you understand that?” 

A part of you still could not. Who were you if you were not of use? 

But when you met Nikolai’s eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes that seemed to glow with the sunset, full of softness and admiration and love, you found that you could start to.

You may not have believed in yourself, but Nikolai did. And that had to mean something.  

“I’m beginning to,” you murmured. 

“Good,” he said, and his lips quirked into a smile. “But fear not, milaya. I hold enough love for you inside of me for the both of us in the meantime.” 

[spooklies]

Hay I loved your Yandere platonic Jason Todd HC could you please do more maybe with a friend with powers or something

# Control - Platonic Yandere Jason Todd & GN!Reader

♡ ... › He needed to keep control over them if he wanted to survive, unaware of the control he’s lose in the process.

— Written in HC Format

♡ ... › Warning(s) - Mild physical abuse. Child endangerment.

– It started with them taking pity, and then things began to escalate as she was forced to make a choice. Put her trust in this stranger in an act of selflessness, or make the smart choice and live selfishly? 

The rain was unrelenting that night in the streets of Crime Alley, and for Jason that meant it was a battle for not only food and water but for warmth as well. He’d made a home of sorts out of the material he could find lying around the dumpsters but because the material to begin with was as flimsy as they come, he ended up getting soaked anyway. 

So there he was, shivering beneath a cardboard box like some abandoned kitten, feeling more pathetic than at any other moment of his life. Each desperate gulp for moisture was akin to what he’d imagine eating gravel was like, dry and sharp. He couldn’t stop his thoughts from pondering the pros and cons of drinking out of a nearby puddle. If it meant surviving then he’d suck up what was left of his pride and do what he had to do. And as his thoughts continued to stray further into the pits of desperation, a shadow was suddenly cast over his form.

The cardboard box that had begun to drip and tear from the weight of the water was suddenly lightened, moving up with the growing cloud of water before being forced away somewhere else. Jason was mesmerized by the way the water had moved so unnaturally, and just as he was beginning to question who and what had done that, they’d stepped up and crouched in front of him, asking if he wanted them to dry their clothes for him as well with a wary look on their face.

It was obvious to him that they didn’t want to, so why bother offering in the first place?

At first, Jason glared, all the skepticism mustered into that look alone, but building trust came easy when they offered him an endless supply of clean water that came straight from the source above. He should decline, putting himself in a position where he was reliant on someone else for survival was never a good idea. But he was desperate, that much he could admit. And in his desperation, he made the choice to put his trust in someone else for the first time in a awhile just as they did the same for him. 

– After that night, Jason understood the importance of trust and how you could easily die without it.

His new friend explained to him that same night that their ability to manipulate water was meant to be a secret, and that if it got out then they would be in serious trouble. Jason listened intently, playing the part of the sympathetic friend as they stupidly told him something he could very well use against him if he so needed to.

They made it so easy. He almost felt bad, almost.

“And if that were to happen, then we wouldn’t be able to see each other again, right?” Jason had asked, the reality of losing this source of sustenance causing him to panic mildly. He kept all his thoughts and emotions reined in, aware that their partnership was still in the beginning stages. Fragile, and easily shattered if he didn’t play his cards right.

His friend nodded, nothing but seriousness in those eyes of theirs. “Let’s make a deal,” They held out their pinky, and that had Jason hesitating. Deals are what get you killed, it's what ultimately got his father killed, and it’s what could bring him down the same path if he wasn’t careful. “I’ll help you, that means anything related to water issues, and you help me by keeping my secret, deal?”

Jason thought it over for a few minutes, trying to think of all the ways this deal could backfire on him, but after realizing this would provide him more benefits than cons, he held his pinky and wrapped it around theirs. He made sure to give them his best smile, quickly understanding that all of this would be way easier than he had originally anticipated.

“Deal, but we have to know where each other is at all times, okay?” They nodded, their shoulders relaxing as he wrapped his pinky around theirs. It wouldn’t be good if they found someone else possibly better than he was to take care of their needs, that would mean he lost a good source of survival.

He needed control. And if there’s anything the lousy adults in his life taught him, it was that the best way to gain it was through emotional means.

Unbeknownst to him, his plan would backfire in the most unexpected way possible. 

– In the following years, the two of them became inseparable.

They’d both kept their promises to each other with a few unsaid rules being thrown into the mix. After they’d promised to always be where Jason was nearby or aware of, they would often get scolded whenever they’d wandered too far, or too close to someone that was on Jason’s danger list.

“I thought I told you to stay where I could see you?” Jason had a vice-like grip on their wrist, teetering on the edge of pain. It was getting harder for him to become aware of his growing strength as he got older, so they didn’t blame him whenever he accidentally caused a bruise or two.

Nothing could compare to what they’d been through with people much older and bigger than he was. And it wasn’t like he was doing it on purpose, so it was easy to ignore and play off his actions. 

“I just wanted to pet that cat…” It felt like a reasonable enough response when they’d initially thought it, but saying it aloud made their face heat up in embarrassment. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, we’re going back to our place,” His tone left no room for argument, not that they would dare. Especially not when he all but dragged them through the streets by their wrist.

– If someone ever bothered his friend, now referred to as his best friend, then he’d make sure that person would suffer.

When Jason finally became aware of the strength he contained it was… scary to watch first hand. They’d been too fearful to step in and stop Jason from throwing those last punches, but the stinging pain on their face was a reminder of why Jason had gone as far as he had.

After Jason was finished he turned to his friend, a relieved smile on his face at seeing his best friend now safe and out of harm's way. A notion he made sure was possible as the person beneath him took their final breaths. 

“I think… I think we should head back before it starts to rain, yeah?” He wiped the specks of blood off his face in a manner that was inappropriately nonchalant considering what had just happened. He stood himself off the corpse and moved so he was instead standing in front of his best friend, those same hands that had just taken a life now gently brushing against the side of their face that stung with the pain of their newfound bruise.

He was scowling, but they understood it wasn’t directed at them. “That fucking bastard,” He mumbled, and then louder asked, “Did he hit you anywhere else?” 

They swallowed, a heavy feeling in their chest. “No…” Jason’s hand moved to theirs as he easily interlocked their fingers. He was shaking, the movement only being noticeable due to their almost unmoving state. The contrast in their demeanors was like night to day, something they chose to focus on as he brought them back to their place.

– One night, Jason disappeared. And he didn’t come back for a while.

They had begun to fear the worst, thinking their best friend was lying on the street somewhere dead after picking a fight with the wrong person. Their fear had prevented them from leaving the building Jason had called theirs, hunger and for the first time thirst wearing them down as each day passed.

But they knew Jason wouldn’t want them to stay wasting away in their lonesome, he’d want the exact opposite of that. So after years of relying entirely on Jason for their survival, they left the house and thus began a new chapter in their life.

– And then, after almost a month of radio silence, came a brightly colored vigilante.

They had been getting ready for bed when they heard the distinct squeak of a window pulling open from not too far away. Immediately their heart spiked with anxiety, the worst scenarios coming to mind as they readied themselves for a fight, only to hesitate upon seeing a kid their age wearing brightly colored clothes they’d only seen a few times upon glancing at a discarded newspaper.

“Robin?” They questioned, startling back when the colorful boy practically jumped towards them and embraced them. The water from the cup they’d left on the floor flew up and wrapped itself around Robin’s neck in a noose of sorts, just short of strangling the stranger if he were to start harming them.

But… nothing like that ever happened. They hesitated, and the collar they’d made dispersed and made itself at home in the fabrics of Robin’s uniform.

“I’m sorry… I’m so so sorry,” Robin kept repeating apologies, and the longer he spoke the more that familiarity snapped into place. They felt tears well up in their eyes, their arms finally rising to wrap themselves around Robin as they began crying. “I didn’t want to be gone for as long as I was, but now I’m back!”

They hiccuped back a sob. Was this real? Has their best friend really been okay all this time?

“I thought… I thought you were dead!” They sobbed, Robin sniffled, but he wasn’t crying nearly as much as they were.

“No, no, nothing like that! I was so worried when I couldn’t see you, but I’m here now and I can finally take you with me!”

Their confusion drowned out any happiness the reunion brought them.

“What? Jason, where have you been? And what do you mean you’re taking me somewhere?” They weren’t sure where this sudden ball of unease came from, but the longer they stood there next to Robin– no, Jason, the stronger that feeling grew. 

Everything about the boy in front of them was different. And usually, different means danger. 

And so, they spent the next few hours catching up, all of their questions being answered in ways that made their suspicion out to be unreasonable. Were they overthinking things again? Jason always told them that they tended to do that. So was this truly any different? 

– Leaving the home they’d made together was difficult for more reasons than one.

Life all at once was suddenly moving way too fast for their liking. They’d assumed the worst of their best friend and thought him dead, and after spending a month regaining their independence they were losing all of that progress all over again with his return.

They should be happy, which they are, but it felt as if they were losing something else important to them right as they’d gained something back. A constant state of losing and gaining, but they struggled to comprehend which they wanted more, and which would benefit them the most in the end.

“Jason, what if I wanted to stay here?” It was completely hypothetical, but they regretted it almost as fast as they’d said it.

A beat of silence, a sense of dread filling them that they tried their best to keep from showing as Jason stared at them with an unnatural looking smile.

“No, you made a promise, remember?” Their eyes widened as they remembered what it was he was referring to. That pinky promise from the day they first met, a deal they had proposed in their desperation for a connection that didn’t originate from an adult wanting to take advantage of them. 

Jason wrapped his hands around theirs, a slight tremble in the gesture that they weren’t sure who it came from. 

“Plus, where we’re going you can learn how to use your powers without worrying so much about keeping it a secret! Doesn’t that sound nice?”

They… supposed that did. And if it’s Jason, then they can put their trust in him. Right?

[theamberwriter]

The Perfect Blend

Modern!Alpha!Levi Ackerman x Omega!GN!Reader || Tea Shop AU

Word count: 6.3k

So this is the first fic I’ve written in a while, and I cannot remember the last time I actually watched AoT. But my thirst for Levi can never be tamed. I hope this does him some justice. Also, I’m on my iPad. So the formatting may be a little weird.

Companion Art: [1] [2]

☕️📚

The Stem and Spine was the shiney new bookstore/tea shop opening on the corner on Prescott and Main. It seemed like ages since anyone had tried opening a store there. It was such a quaint spot. The historical building had detailed moldings, uneven red bricks, and chipped, dark blue paint. Six large, angled windows gave a panoramic view out to the bustling streets in your little college town.

It was the perfect spot to stop, drink tea, and people watch.

You were looking forward to opening day. You’d spent months crawling through every bookshop, online and in person, as well as every thrift shop trying to find one specific book. No one seemed to know of it’s existence. So you were silently begging the universe to cut you a break and let this new bookshop carry what you were looking for.

You’d only recently discovered their grand opening. An awkward omega gave you a flier. They were handing them out as people were leaving the grocery store. You were really excited, but maybe that was your inner bookworm talking.

Since the shop was right down the road, you decided to walk there on opening morning. You weren’t really expecting any sort of crowd. All of the college kids had gone home for the summer, so the streets had emptied out some. You enjoyed how quiet the summers were. So the long, winding line leading from the door of Stem and Spine was definitely a surprise.

You didn’t need to look for the book that badly. You could come in a month or so when things had died down some. You were going to head back home when you heard the people by you talking:

“I heard the guy running this place is hot as fuck,” said one.

“Did you hear what that girl in our study group said?” asked the other. The first shook their head. “Apparently his scent is like, super strong.”

The friend grinned, running their tongue over their teeth. “I can‘t wait to find out.”

Oh no, you mentally groaned then took a nice deep breath. The scents came one right after the other. A mangled mash up of pheromones. This line was almost entirely betas and omegas. And they were here for that alpha. You were never going to be able to shop there at this rate! As an omega yourself, you just knew they all would come from miles around until this guy was claimed.

You decided it was better to queue up, then maybe you’d actually get a chance to set foot inside. You waited for hours. You were sure those ahead of you would linger as long as possible and try to make an impression. That meant everyone had to stand in line longer.

By the time employees came down the line and told people they were closing for the night, your feet were killing you and your phone battery was nearly dead. All day and you’d only gotten a quarter of the way to the door! You could still see the spot you’d started from. A few people tried to get rowdy, complaining it was unfair that they’d been waiting all day. But their steam fizzled when employees threatened to call the police.

For two weeks, you checked the line for Stem and Spine. Day after day the line seemed to get longer. You saw a lot of returning faces, they must’ve been desperate. You even saw a handful of people getting escorted out by police! You also heard more and more rumors about what everyone was lining up for.

I heard he’s one of those hot, stoic types. I’d love to break him.

I heard that if you’re a beta or omega, just the guy’s scent is enough to make you jizz in your pants.

I heard he doesn’t like needy omegas, good thing I’m not like the others.

I heard he’s starting an entire harem - I’d love to be a part of that!

This is my eighth time going. I swear, I’m on the verge of making him my mate!

The rumors went on and on, getting more and more absurd. You wondered what this guy was really like, if he was really worth all of this. You weren’t interested, you just wanted a book! If anything, this was annoying. You figured it was probably annoying for him too, especially if he just wanted to do his job and not have to worry about anyone throwing themselves at him.

Finally, on a Sunday afternoon, you were able to set foot in Stem and Spine. It was quiet. No three block long line in sight. Sure, it was still busy but these people actually wanted books. They were all glued to the shelves, actually talking about books, and showing each other covers.

Inside was better than you’d imagined it. Everything was cream, gold, crimson, and navy blue. In one half was the tea shop. There were shelves of tea and accessories that lined the walls; loose leaf, prepackaged, diffusers, tea pots, honey sticks, spoon rests. As well as a long barista counter that had a large chalkboard and sizable drink list that was nothing but tea. There were a small handful of metal tables and chairs, and you remembered seeing some outside with umbrellas as well.

The other half of the store was the bookshop. There was row after row of books. Mostly fiction from your first glance. There were also displays for local authors and a shelf of new arrivals. You couldn’t wait to spend the day combing through. The entire vibe was cozy and the scent of jasmine wafting around was relaxing. You did wonder, however, how you were able to get in. Had the alpha been claimed? You didn’t smell anything overwhelming.

“Aaawwww, what do you mean he’s not here?!” You heard a girl whine. You were just starting on the second row of books.

“Mr. Ackerman isn’t here,” said the employee, irritation clear in their voice. “And no, I don’t know if he’ll be back today.”

The girl groaned loudly, but you didn’t hear her complain anymore. You figured she must’ve left. You wondered if she was the one who’d managed multiple visits.

“This has really gotten out of hand,” you heard the employee down the aisle say. They’d been stocking more books. “Great for sales, though.”

“That bad?” you asked. The employee looked at you, she looked tired. Her name tag read Mikasa.

“You have no idea,” she sighed. “I like working here. Levi is my cousin and a great boss, but these fangirls have just been too much. You’d think the fact that he ignores them would be a turn off. But they just keep coming.”

You didn’t realize you’d spent your whole afternoon in Stem and Spine until Mikasa came around to give you a five minute heads up. You were disappointed you didn’t find what you were looking for. But you still managed to find a couple hidden gems you were excited about. Maybe what you wanted was just too obscure.

You brought your books to the counter. As they rang you up, you noticed a clip board with a paper that read What Books Would You Like to See at Stem and Spine? Under that was a long list of handwritten titles and author names. You quickly scribbled down the book you were looking for. At least now there was a chance for it to appear.

Over the next month, you managed two visits to Stem and Spine every week. You and the employees actually started to recognize each other. You also started to see titles you recognized from the list. The mysterious Mr. Ackerman, however, still managed to escape your sight. Every time you went, there was a small posse outside just trying to grab a whiff.

It wasn’t until your first visit of the following month that you finally laid eyes on him. You’d just finished a series and were looking to start a new one. So you wandered over to the new arrivals section. You’d been there about half an hour when a heavy wave of lavender hit you. It filled your head, murking up your thoughts. You figured this had to be him, and the rumors were true - his scent was another beast entirely.

You shook your head to focus your thoughts. You liked this store, so this was something you were going to have to get used to if you wanted to keep shopping there. But you were also extremely concerned - if he was here, then that long line and hoard of omegas and betas would be too. You wanted to leave, but you were stuck between two books with money only for one.

You probably should’ve noticed the scent getting stronger. But you were so focused on reviewing the synopsis on both and thumbing through that you were oblivious. You didn’t wake from your stupor until there was a flutter of movement beside you. You glanced to your left to see a dark haired man in a white collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He set down the few boxes he was carrying.

This man, you realized, was where the lavender wall had come from. This was the infamous Levi Ackerman, owner of Stem and Spine. Mikasa had told you a bit about him in previous weeks. You liked talking to her whenever you came in.

“It’s rude to stare,” he said in a surprising tenor. His back was still to you. You cursed under your breath and turned back to the shelf. That was one way to embarrass yourself. You began musing between the books in your hands again.

After a long moment of silence, a voice said, “I’d pick the one in your right hand.”

You looked over to meet a bored pair of silver eyes. “What?”

“I’ve read them both. The book in your right hand was far more interesting.”

“Oh cool,” you said slowly. “Thanks. I would’ve been here for ages.”

You quickly placed the other one back in its place and scuttled away. You were just going to have to take his word for it. You didn’t want to hover anymore than you had. At the front, they packaged up your book and you were swiftly out the door.

Levi had been right, the book was very good and you were excited that there were four more books to follow with a movie planned. The next time you tried to go to Stem and Spine it was packed again. There was a line down the block and you just didn’t have the time to wait. Your shift at work started soon, and all you’d wanted to do was thank him for the recommendation.

You decided to head straight to work instead. Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long to see the bookstore owner again. The wall of lavender hit you before you saw him. You watched everyone around you turn to stare. It didn’t seem to phase him in the least.

Levi came to the counter and briefly talked with your coworker, who couldn’t seem to keep a straight face. When they disappeared to look for someone, Levi waited at the counter. This was probably going to be weird, but you really did want to thank him for helping you find a new series you absolutely loved.

“Hey,” you started, the book in your hand. He glanced at you briefly. “I, uh. You probably don’t remember me, but you recommended this book to me last week. And I, uh, I just wanted to say thank you. It was really good.”

“I told you it was better,” he stated. “I remember the other one you had - the author writes shit. It doesn’t have any good character development and there were a few glaring plot holes.”

“Oh, that’s good to know - I’ll definitely take that off my reading list.” You laughed awkwardly, carefully tucking the book away in your bag. “I was, uh, I was going to stop by the shop earlier. See if you were there - so I could thank you. But that line was just - woo!”

“I’m going to have to do something about that.” You weren’t sure if that was directed at you, but Levi seemed lost in thought.

Your coworker soon came back with someone in tow. They talked for a minute and then Levi and his intoxicating scent were gone. Afterwards, your coworker could not shut up about him. There was no way you were going to tell them about the bookshop.

In the days that followed, the line to get into the shop shrunk. But there was a continuous crowd that flurried around. A few employees you recognized seemed to be doing crowd control.

“I don’t care that you want to see him,” said one. “You don’t actually want a book or tea! It’s clogging up the shop.”

So Levi was doing something about the outrageous line. You were looking forward to being able to shop there again. The employees inside seemed less stressed when you went in and, at least, you weren’t brushing shoulders with anyone.

“Hey, [Name]!” Mikasa called as she spied you. She waved from her spot at the book counter where she was talking with Levi. You waved back at her, accidentally met Levi’s eyes, and then shuffled off into the book aisle to grab the next installment of the series.

You paid for your book, then went over to the tea shop. You didn’t know much about tea, but you figured you might as well start trying the different blends. There was a small display set up that recommended different teas for certain books. Like a nice citrusy Lady Grey to go with Pride and Prejudice.

“I don’t think that tea pairs with your book.”

You knew that voice. You turned to find Levi there with you, hovering, observing as you skimmed through the tea bags. You looked down at the pouch of English Breakfast Tea in your hand.

“You don’t think so?”

“You’ll want a black currant tea.” Levi reached just above your head and pulled down a paper bag with a raven on it. “I’m partial to this one.”

You took the bag, turning it over in your hand. You put the original pouch you grabbed back. Awkwardly, you smiled at him. “Uh, thanks. Guess I’ll go pay for this then.”

You weren’t sure what to make of it, it was probably nothing. But this encounter left you with a strange feeling. There were a few more like that to follow too.

“You’ll want a different tea for that,” he said as you picked up the third book.

“I can’t just make the black currant one?” you asked, baffled.

“Each book has a flavor that it pairs with. This one is more of a mint. If you pick wrong, you'll ruin the whole damn experience.” Levi turned the full power of his eyes on you. You were frozen under them. “Just like each person has their scent. Each scent has something that pairs nicely with it. For example, mine is lavender, yours is more of a sage. The two go well together.”

“Oh,” was all you could manage. That was the first time you felt the little flutter in your chest.

Every time you went to Stem and Spine to purchase a book Levi was there over your shoulder. He’d direct you to whichever tea he felt best went with it. He even started talking about the nuances in the flavors. How the aromatics helped, which shape of tea bag was optimal, ideally how long to steep it for. You became very knowledgeable about tea in the following visits. You were sure you'd be an expert by the time you went to pick up the last book in the series he showed you. But nowhere near as knowledgeable as Levi.

The next time you went, you saw Mikasa at the counter speaking with Levi.

"You can have the days off. Just fill out the request form," Levi said as you walked up to them.

"You're going on vacation soon, Mikasa?" you asked.

She turned her eyes to you. "My mate is going into his rut soon. I always make sure to take those days off to help him with his nest or anything else he needs."

You smiled at her. "That's really thoughtful, Mikasa. I hope, if I find someone, that they're like you."

She raised an eyebrow. "You don't have a mate?"

"No." You shook your head and shrugged.

You could've sworn you caught Mikasa giving Levi a nudge and a sharp look. Levi gave her a brief glare back. Then his eyes turned to you, his gaze relaxed.

"Why?" he asked.

You laughed humorlessly. "No one's ever really stuck around or I broke up with them. One guy tried to get me to sell my book collection. He said that they were just a waste of time and money. So I decided that he was a waste of my time. There's nothing worse than someone who doesn't understand your hobbies."

Levi said nothing but hummed in response.

"Do you have a mate out there in this big wide world, Levi?" you asked.

"No," he spat curtly.

You didn't mean to gape, but you couldn't deny you were shocked. "Really?"

"What?"

"I'm just surprised, ya know? With your strong scent and how handsome you are... I just figured by now someone would have come along. That's all."

Levi looked away from you. "My scent is more trouble than it's worth. All it does is draw shitty little brats."

You chuckled. "I can see that, considering the long line the first month you guys were open. I also noticed the growing wall of banned people. – Well I just came in to grab something really fast before work. My shift starts soon."

The college students were starting back up for the autumn semester. The streets began to fill up with cars of fresh faces, new dreams, and overstuffed suitcases. You had a feeling there'd be a new influx of people at Stem and Spine.

The hunch was correct.

Before you knew it, the store was once again filled wall to wall with people seeking Levi's attention. He seemed increasingly agitated every time you saw him. Then he once again disappeared for a few weeks, causing the crowds to thin.

“I heard the author is writing the final installment,” Mikasa said as she rang you up. “It’s supposed to be out in a few months.”

“Really? I thought this was the last book?” You raised an eyebrow. You weren’t upset, just surprised. The story felt like it could easily be wrapped up in one book. You hoped it wasn’t going to be one of those strangling the plot lines scenarios, where the whole series goes down in flames right at the end.

“Nope, one more.” Mikasa shook her head. “I’m sure Levi will be upset.”

“Does he really like this series?”

“No.”

You met her with a curious gaze. Her eyes gave you nothing in return. You’d never really noticed how similar she and Levi looked until then. Both with silky black hair and unwavering grey eyes.

"I don't smell him around today. I take it he's still in hiding? I guess I'm on my own to find a tea, then," you laughed.

Mikasa handed you your bag, it was brown paper with a dark red book and tea leaf stamped onto it. You had a small collection you kept folded under your sink and used for various things.

"Hey, before you go," Mikasa started. "I'd like to consider us friends."

You nodded and smiled at her. "I'd like to think so."

"So then would you like to hang out when I'm not working? I was thinking about going to see the movie for this, it comes out soon. Would you like to go? I'll buy the tickets."

"That'd be awesome! I can pay you back."

Mikasa laughed, then waved her hand dismissively. "It's no issue, don't worry about it. Give me your number, and we can pick a date."

You exchanged numbers then wandered over to the teashop. You were only a little upset to be tea shopping alone. You were so used to having company. You wondered what type of tea Levi would recommend. You had to admit, you were starting to look forward to your shopping visits more knowing he was there. You were happier to see him than Mikasa most days. You were grateful for your newly formed friendship, so it made you feel a bit guilty. But you couldn’t deny that there was something soothing about listening to Levi’s passion for tea.

You thumbed through the pages of the book. Skimming without trying to spoil anything for yourself. You were just trying to get the feel. What flavor would this book be? Something dark and fruity, like a black currant? Or something a little lighter, more classic like the mint? You settled on an orange bergamot, this would have to work. You paid and then walked over to your job.

About half way through your shift, a familiar tsunami of lavender smacked you in the face. Levi strode casually through the lobby looking bored as ever. He had a bag in his hand. You wondered if he’d been out shopping. You met his gaze, immediately diverting your own back to your paperwork.

“Mikasa said you were in the shop today,” he said, the scent rolling off of him was strange and heavy.

You looked up, getting sucked into those silver pools. “Yeah, I came to get the next book in the series. I figured you were still keeping your distance. - Did you need my help with something? Did you need John again?”

“I wanted to make sure you didn’t pick a shitty tea.”

You scrutinized his face. It held absolutely nothing. He really came all this way to ask what tea you picked? Well, it was just the next street over. But he still had to go out of his way to see you. He didn’t have to do that. Your heart fluttered.

“I skimmed through, but I’m not sure I picked the right one.” You handed over the bag of tea you bought.

Levi rolled his eyes. “Tech, don’t spoil it for yourself, idiot.”

He took the bag, examining it thoroughly. He considered the ingredients for a long moment. You could practically see the cogs turning in his mind. Finally Levi handed it back over to you.

“Interesting choice,” he started. “But it works. I’m impressed.”

“Thanks, I really tried to put your lessons into practice,” you laughed. There was a long stretch of silence. “I suppose you’re probably going back to Stem and Spine, I won’t keep you any longer. But I appreciate you stopping by, I didn’t think you remembered that I worked here.”

Levi stood a moment longer, then placed the bag he’d been carrying on the counter. It was from his store. “I brought this in case you picked wrong. - I’d still like you to have it.”

You stood. “No, I couldn’t -”

“I insist.”

“At least let me lay you for it. Or exchange it for the one I bought!”

Levi was already walking away. “Just take the fucking thing. I picked it out for you.”

Then Levi was gone, but his lavender scent still swam in your head. You took the bag from the counter, peering in to inspect its contents. You were so curious what he picked. You pulled out a white bag of loose leaf tea with a rose stamped on it in pink. The name read The Start of Something Sweet, it was made with strawberries and rose. You couldn’t help but smile a bit to yourself.

Later that night you made yourself a cup using what you remembered of Levi’s impromptu tea lessons. You couldn’t keep the little smile off your face. Not even as you talked with Mikasa about your movie plans. You picked a date two Saturdays away. You were really excited, you could only hope that the movie did any sort of justice.

A few days later, you made another trip to Levi’s store. It was restock day. As usual, you beelined for the new arrivals section. You were disheartened to find your requested book had still not made an appearance. You groaned. Maybe they couldn’t find a distributor either. That’d be just your luck.

“Looking for anything in particular?” Mikasa asked, stopping beside you. “You look disappointed.”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I’ve been on the hunt for this one book and no one has it. I’ve checked everywhere! I even put it on your recommendations list when you first opened. It’s just getting annoying at this point.”

“Maybe I can track it down for you and get you a rush order?”

You smiled at her gratefully. “You’d do that for me?”

Mikasa shrugged. “It’s no problem. I don’t see why not. What’s Levi going to do? Fire me?”

“Sweet, thank you so much! I’ll text you what I’m looking for.”

“Hey, I’m actually about to go on break. Do you want to go get something to eat with me? You have off today, right?”

You agreed and hovered by the counter while Mikasa grabbed her things from the back. You chatted idly with a few of the other employees. They were complaining about how busy it’s been since school was back in session. You hadn’t been surprised, of course. They did build the town around the university after all.

Once the scent of lavender began wafting in, everyone became tense. You noticed something was off. It was sharper and so sweet it was almost bitter and very dense and heavy. Levi stalked in, looking irritated. He gave a sharp glare to his employees, but didn’t say anything. Instead marching through the door that said employees only on it.

“Something must’ve happened,” said one of the employees you were talking to. “He was in a good mood this morning.”

You wanted to go after him. In fact, your feet even began to pull in his direction on their own. But you stopped yourself, embarrassed. Tea aside - you didn’t know him all that well, after all. The last thing he’d probably wanted was a random omega tailing after him.

You had a thought, a reflection of something he told you - a book and a good cup of tea always made his mood better. He told you in passing, he probably didn’t even remember saying it. You knew you’d seen your favorite book somewhere in the store. With any luck, it was one he hadn’t read. You swept through the shelves, quickly finding it, then went to find a matching tea. You’d already had one in mind. Mikasa emerged just as the cashier was packing it all up for you. You had them wrap it in brown paper.

“Did you find something after all?” she asked.

You felt warm. Did it get hot all the sudden? You looked guiltily at the items in your hands.

“Actually,” you started awkwardly. “These are for Levi.”

“Levi?”

“Yeah, he seemed pretty mad when he came through a few minutes ago. Could you - I don’t know - could you give these to him for me?”

“I think it would be better if you gave them to him yourself, he’s still here.”

Mikasa didn’t give you much of a choice as she steered you towards the door he’d gone through. She forcefully shoved you down a small hallway and into Levi’s office. He was furious when he heard the door open. The sharp scent was even thicker in here, nearly suffocating. But you couldn’t help your overwhelming urge to calm him.

“[Name],” Levi grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes were shut tight. “I know you can fucking read, the sign says employees only.”

“They have something for you, don’t be an asshole,” snapped Mikasa.

You thought you heard Levi mutter brat under his breath. He looked up at you, eyeing the items in your hands curiously. You smiled a bit. Avoiding his gaze, you admired how neat his desk was. You were sure, if you had a ruler, that everything would be evenly spaced apart.

“You seemed upset when you came in,” you said, swallowing thickly. “I remembered what you said and thought maybe a book and some tea would help? This one’s my favorite and I picked something that I thought went with it. - I promise I paid for it.”

You placed the items on his desk and slowly backed away. You tried to slip away now that your peace offering had been given. Mikasa, however, wouldn’t let you leave. Levi picked up the book, turning it over his hands. He studied the cover and read the synopsis. Finally, after a long minute, he hummed and turned back to you.

“I haven’t read this one,” Levi said. You stifled a sigh of relief. “You make interesting choices in tea, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you said quickly and Mikasa finally let you out the door.

Mikasa didn’t bring up the incident over lunch. You, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about it. Why did you do that? It was incredibly impulsive, but also inappropriate. That was basically the equivalent of screaming out how much he made your heart race and your palms sweat.

You tried not to dwell on it. But over the course of the week, you found yourself reflecting. You had hoped, more than you realized, that he would like what you brought him. You wanted his approval, not just his thanks. But you hadn’t been able to find the time to stop by the store and see if he’d read it. You’d been too busy with work, along with some plans with friends.

The next time you saw Levi was at your work again. He came bearing another bag. You were worried your coworkers would start getting the wrong idea. An alpha giving an omega gifts - how must that have looked to them? Then again, it was awfully presumptuous to think that the bag was for you.

But you were certain that Levi would never court you. Did you want him to, even? You hadn’t put much thought into the idea. But you didn’t hate the thought of getting to know him better. All you knew was what little he’d revealed in your chats while you picked out books and tea. Along with a little of what Mikasa had told you.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” you joked as Levi stepped up to the counter.

There was a certain air about him today. Maybe it was the way he’d slicked his hair back neatly. Or how starched the collar on his shirt was where it came out of his camel colored vest. He even seemed a touch more rested than usual.

Levi placed a bag on the counter. “This is for you.”

You couldn’t stop the sound of delight that came out of your mouth as you took the book out of the bag. It was finally, finally in your hands. After countless hours of fruitless searching, the damn book was finally in your hand.

“Holy shit,” you cried. “You found it! How much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house this time.” Levi reached in and pulled a small brown pouch out of the bag. He smirked, which sent a chill down your spine. “Cinnamon, something spicy to go with that dirty fucking shit you’re reading.”

You froze mid celebration, oh shit. It was indeed a book with a good chunk of smut in it. Your friend had let you borrow her copy, that’s the only reason you knew about the book in the first place.

“You read it?” your voice came out hoarse.

Levi clicked his tongue. “The important parts, to figure out which blend would go along with it. It’s no wonder you couldn’t find it, no self respecting bookshop carries porn.”

“It’s not porn!”

You were not expecting him to read it. But of course he would only read the spicy scenes. No context to the story or anything else. You were devastated.

“Mhm.” It did not sound like he believed you. With that, Levi turned and began to walk away. He called over his shoulder to have a good day, followed by the pet name they used in the book.

You felt warm all over, tingles chasing from head to toe. You stared after him until he was gone. Then you sat flustered in your seat with your cheek against the cool desk. You could feel a scream burning in the back of your throat. You were so glad there was a half wall so no one could see you.

When you finally got up the nerve to crack open the book you found an envelope. Your name was written in beautiful cursive on the back. Cautiously, you cut it open. Inside was money and a little note in the same scrawl.

I won’t hold this against you. I know your entire taste in literature isn’t trash. Here’s money back for the stuff you gave me. I can see why it’s your favorite.

L. Ackerman

PS. Don’t even fucking think about trying to give the money back.

It was a short note, but it was enough to bring that flutter back. You couldn’t help reading it over and over again.

Before you knew it, movie day was finally upon you. You dressed casually and were so excited that you got to the theater an hour before it started. There was no Mikasa in sight, so you sat on a bench and read. You didn’t start to worry until there was only fifteen minutes before the movie began and she was still nowhere to be seen. Not even a text.

You: Hey, just checking if you’re close by.

Mikasa: Sorry, I’m not going to be able to make it. Enjoy the movie, you’ll have to tell me what I missed.

You groaned. You did not want to see this movie on your own. Though, you supposed it wasn’t so bad. Lots of people went by themselves. You’d just been looking forward to some bonding time with your new friend.

“So this is what that little brat was up to,” said a voice behind you. You turned to find no other than Levi. His scent was just beginning to wrap you up in a field of flowers. He had two travel cups with him, and looked as attractive as ever. No white collared shirt today. That was replaced by casual clothes and tight fitting jeans.

“Mikasa?” you asked, forcing yourself to look away.

He rolled his eyes. “I should’ve known, she didn’t even read the damn thing.”

You stood in silence for a moment. You had to wonder if this was as weird for him as it was for you. You had to admit, you did not see this coming. You could only wonder if he was disappointed to see you there.

You cleared your throat. “Look, you don’t have to watch it with me. We can sit in separate rows -“

“Don’t be stupid. Here.” Levi held out a cup to you. “You didn’t get to read the first book with anything. - Let’s go see if they fucked our shit up.”

Levi grabbed your wrist, tugging towards the direction of your theater. Your skin tingled where he touched you. You weren’t surprised by the amount of stares, but each set of eyes you passed was still unnerving. You were glad to be in your seats where it’d be harder for them.

“I heard they’re already filming the next one,” Levi stated after a few moments. He wasn’t looking at you. He concentrated almost too hard on the screen, you thought he was going to bore holes into it. “We should go see it together when it comes out. Maybe grab dinner beforehand.”

“Like…a date?” you asked. It slipped out before you could stop yourself.

“What the hell else?”

You paused for a moment, twisting to look at him. You couldn’t figure out if he was serious or not. His cheeks gained a flush of pink. You smiled at him, then settled back into your seat.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

Levi nodded, but didn’t say anything else as the lights went down. Somewhere through the night, in the tension of the dark theater, your hand ended up enveloped in his.

In the morning Stem and Spine was your first stop. You were there as soon as they opened. Mikasa was doing the opening drawer. You watched as Levi went up and slammed his hand down on the counter. She didn’t so much as flinch.

“Oi,” he said. Mikasa looked up at him. “What the hell was that stunt you pulled yesterday?”

You walked up behind him. “Yeah, you did miss one hell of a movie.”

“I don’t know why you’re both so annoyed, it seems my plan worked,” she said bored, not even bothering to look up from the cash she was counting.

“How did you know we wouldn’t just walk out of the theater and not watch the movie together?” you asked.

“You both like that series too much. Besides, Levi may know a lot about tea, but he’s also stupid. He never does anything for himself. So while he may not have realized what he was feeling, we all could see it. He just needed a little push. And so did you, [Name]. I knew you liked Levi.”

“I never actually told you that, though. I never told anyone.”

“You didn’t have to. You could smell it in the air when you were around each other. Like a call and response. You two were perfect and you couldn’t even see it. I knew from the first day you walked into the shop.”

Levi took your hand. “Don’t look so fucking smug.”

Mikasa laughed as Levi took you to his office. As soon as you stepped in Levi shut the door behind you. He gave you a swift kiss on the cheek as he went to his desk.

“She’s right you know,” he started, intentionally avoiding looking at you. “We are the perfect blend.”

You couldn’t help but wholeheartedly agree.

[radioisntdead]

I don't mean to be dramatic, but the degree to which I need to know what Velvette does to shy singer reader the next day verges on pathological.

Good evening my dear! You are so real for that, I hope you enjoy!

Don't go wasting your emotion

Velvette x reader

Warnings: Power inbalance, things get wonky at the end because I was sleep deprived while writing, kinda trying out a format no idea if that's obvious or not.

Part two to this

Song used

Velvette took pride in her accomplishments,

she had a strong hold on hell's fashion industry, she had a HUGE following on all social media platforms, she was the youngest overlord, she was the self-proclaimed backbone of the Vee's, if she wanted something she would get it.

And what was something she wanted?

You! How unfortunate, or fortunate depending how you look at it.

"I wasn't jealous before we met,"

After your little stunt of practically serenading her and teasing her with the act of an almost kiss, the Vee became rather enamored with you.

Imagine her delight when you came into work the next day fully prepared to get a sort of revenge on you, although you were in a complete different outfit then the one you wore the night before, gone was the striking red and pink two piece, you now wore a muted green cardigan, blouse and some business casual work pants, the complete opposite of the night before.

If she hadn't seen you that night she might've have a tough time believing it was you.

"Now, every woman I see is a potential threat,"

Velvette kept tabs on you throughout the morning waiting for the right moment to corner you.

Unfortunately the morning was busy since a certain moth that should've gotten taken out by exorcists ages ago had another temper tantrum and wrecked havoc upon her floor, tearing apart a few models.

And that meant it took longer then she would've liked to talk to you.

"And I'm possessive, it isn't nice,"

She was extra snippy with everyone who interacted with you, her poor assistant who just needed to give you a run down on what clothes to pack and transport to a shoot next week got absolutely flamed, a coworker that held the door open for you was almost fired, another coworker that accidentally tripped you and apologized was fired.

"You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice,"

Finally right before the clock stuck noon she managed to catch you alone, you were at your desk writing something down.

"But now it isn't true,"

You let out a squeak as your chair, with you in it, was spun around.

Velvette stared down at you.

"Now everything is new,"

You were a complete and utter fool to think she wouldn't recognize you, and now you were paying the price for your foolery.

"And all I've learned has overturned,"

Cold panic filled you, immediately assuming she wanted to end your afterlife, you managed to duck under her arm, slide out of your chair and what I can only describe as a sad attempt at an army crawl mixed with an undignified shimmy but it got you free.

Temporarily anyways.

"I beg of you,"

Velvette quickly caught you pinning you against a wall, your eyes darted around as you felt her fingers gently hold your chin like you had done to her the night before.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

She leaned in.

"Lay all your love on me,"

And planted a kiss right on your pretty lips.

"It was like shooting a sitting duck,"

That kiss is what sealed your fate, because from that day Velvette began showing clear favoritism for you.

"A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck,"

Coming to visit you whenever she had free time, or on your breaks, demanding that you go on lunch dates with her.

"I still don't know what you've done with me,"

She somehow found your awkward demeanor to be rather charming, sure it would be nice for you to ditch the whole timid thing but that wasn't a deal breaker, perhaps within time you'd become that confident person she saw on stage that managed to completely and utterly enamour her full-time.

"A grown-up woman should never fall so easily,"

Velvette showed up for each and every one of your performances, causing a racket in order to show up if needed.

She personally designed clothes for you to wear during your club performances, making sure they fit you perfectly and that they were flexible enough that you could move around with ease.

"I feel a kind of fear,"

It sent tingles down her spine whenever you got on stage and switched from the timid little thing you were normally into someone beaming of pure confidence, she loved when you would blow kisses or anything of the like to her from your place on stage.

"When I don't have you near,"

She would film your shows and post them over her socials, often posting pictures of the two of you, particularly with her arm wrapped around you in some way, she quite liked having her arm wrapped around your waist.

"Unsatisfied, I skip my pride,"

Velvette would often take you out on all types of dates, her favorites were shopping ones, she could spoil you with anything your little heart so desired, or at least she could try too, you had a way of uno reversing her and paying for her instead.

Thank goodness you got paid for your little singing performances because you'd be screwed otherwise.

"I beg you dear,"

Was there a large power inbalance between the two of you, as not only an overlord and an average sinner but as Employee and Boss.

Yes, yes there was.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

But did Velvette care about that at all?

"Lay all your love on me,"

No she didn't give a shit.

But your coworkers did!

"Don't go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me,"

You weren't naive towards the whispers and pointed or concerned looks directed towards you, you were pretty sure some of your co-workers and friends had a mock funeral for you.

Velvette quite liked you and she refused to let you leave.

"I've had a few little love affairs,"

Sure she had a couple of flings here and there, both when she was alive and after she died, but no one was quite like you, timid and awkward in the daylight and a shining ball of confidence in the night.

Like hell's version of Hannah Montana or a werewolf.

"They didn't last very long, and they've been pretty scarce,"

It went without saying that Velvette was a very jealous woman, she was never one for sharing

Not clothes, not items, and especially not you!

"I used to think that was sensible,"

Sure she technically shared things with the other Vee's like living space, utilities, employees that weren't you.

"It makes the truth even more incomprehensible,"

She didn't like that whenever you performed on stage others looked at you with such lust and desire that it would make the radio demon himself run away with disgust.

"'Cause everything is new,"

She made a point to post pictures of the two of you, together, usually with her hand, arm, leg or something of hers on top of you, just to show all of hell that you belonged to her.

She had you in her sinstagram bio and everything.

And she made you put her in your sinstagram bio despite you barely using the media.

"And everything is you,"

Brushing over that, Your relationship with her was filled with rather sweet moments.

"And all I've learned has overturned,"

She made matching outfits for the two of you, mostly tailoring to her own styles and colors as opposed to yours, it's not her fault she liked seeing you in her colors!

"What can I do,"

She practically moved you into the Vee's tower, making sure you were no more then a three minute walk away.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

Valentino once asked if he could borrow you for a film, saying that you could be a star, after all some people had a thing for dorks like you!

"Lay all your love on me,"

She ended up chasing him down with a fork.

"Don't go sharing your devotion,"

And ended up posting a few videos of his little temper tantrums much to Vox's chagrin, that was not good for the Vee's reputation!

"Lay all your love on me,"

But it did make a point to the other two Vees that you were off limits, Although Vox did try to get you to agree to sing a jingle for a product of his.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

You were back at that same club you managed to seduce Velvette at, singing another song you enjoyed while alive.

"Lay all your love on me,"

You wore a sparkling pink outfit, heart motifs were evident on it, Velvette stared at you from across the club with pride.

Look at you! Singing your heart out while wearing one of her outfits.

"Don't go sharing your devotion,"

You leaned against the mic stand, half lidded eyes on her.

"Lay all your love on me,"

She had taken to keeping a safe distance away from the stage during your performances, not wishing for a repeat of your nimble fingers under her chin as you sang to her.

She'd rather keep that in private.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

you blew a kiss at her.

"Lay all your love on me."

What Velvette wanted, she got.

And she got you, and you supposed you had her as well, who would've thought that performance of yours would've resulted in this?

Good evening folks! My apologies for this being delayed! I hope you enjoyed it! Also as the song was selected per the poll and this one won, y'all picked good because the other two of the other options were going to be angsty, anywho!

as per usual thank you for tuning in! Hope you tune in tomorrow for Wednesday angst with a certain Angel!

[snek-panini]

The last of my Binderary books, #10 and #11, are here! This is The Mathematical Improbability of Reaching the Stars by cassieoh and D20Owlbear and it is another very long fic that I had to split into two volumes. It's a wonderful Good Omens human!AU with believable relationship development and very likeable OCs. I like to go into summaries at this point in my binding posts but I have trouble pinpointing the reason I like this one so much. It's just compelling and I like spending time with these characters. It reads like an original story and yet it's undeniably a GO fic. I don't know how else to phrase it.

I had a major disappointment with the bind, though. As you can no doubt see in the photos above, there was major glue leakage when I did the htv and it ruined my book cloth. That's a homemade paper-backed cloth and it's this wonderful textured green fabric (I think it's polyester but it's shiny and lightweight) but it did not like that silver foil htv At All. Really sad that it turned out like that. The silver leaves were also an absolute nightmare to weed. So many teeny tiny pieces, and I had to do four of them. I stand by the design, it's very pretty and I still think it fits the book, but I have got to find another option for putting titles on homemade cloth. I've done five of them now and I have this issue every time.

More photos under the cut! It is still a very pretty set, even with the cover issues.

You can see the fabric texture really well on the backs, and there's no glue issue there either. Part of me wishes I'd left the front covers blank like the backs. I love how the spines turned out; that's black faux leather and it always takes htv like a champ. I like how I did the titles here too. I really wanted them on the spines but it's such a long title that I'd have had to scrunch it down really small to make it fit. Weeding tiny text is always a pain and it limits the fonts you can use and still be legible, but splitting it up like this? Love it. Looks so good on my shelf.

Silver foiled edges! I had trouble getting the foil to stick, like always, but I ended up sort of layering it over the unstuck parts and got this kind of patchy look that I love. Handmade double core endbands, and this is one of the most complex patterns I've done in endbands so far. I love them and think they came out really beautiful.

The endpapers are this beautiful chiyogami leaf pattern. I bought these for this fic before I'd even started typesetting it because I knew they'd be perfect. Chiyogami is my favorite thing to use for endpapers lately, I love it so much.

I went really simple on the typeset here. It's a contemporary story, as opposed to a lot of the historical and fantastical ones I tend to bind, and I thought the sleek typeset suited it. I'm not as in love with the title page as I could be but I do like it. It's about the text, not the flourishes, once you get into the meat of the story.

One fun typesetting thing I was able to do with this one happened in the headers and footers. Usually I do page numbers at the bottom, author's name on the top left and title on the top right, but the combination of two authors and a really long title meant the headers got really unwieldy. They were too long and bled into the body text. So I split them up like this, and I love it! Looks so sleek. I've been looking for an excuse to do it like this again on other typesets but it hasn't fit anything yet.

And that's that! I asked for author permission for these but never heard back, so I hope they're both ok with what I did. I'm overall pleased with the results (and in love with parts of it) and I know what I still need to work on.

This is the last of my Binderary books! 11 is too many! I'm never doing that many books in a month again! Now I've got everything posted I feel like I can move on to new projects, though it may be a bit before I have any new books to post. I've got a format experiment in mind.

[butterflywithsass]

The good, the bad, and the ineffable omens. What makes Good Omens special.

I'm not very good at making posts on here so sorry if the formatting sucks. It's the anniversary of season two, and thinking back on everything, it's incredible how much has happened since it came out. I might get a bit long-winded, so if that's not your thing, just scroll on by. I'm just gonna take a look at why I love Good Omens, why I love the Good Omens fandom, and what the future holds for all of us who love this story.

I guess you could say I'm a bit of a new fan. I watched the first season in 2019. I liked it but I didn't really think about it until I heard it was getting a second season, and I decided to watch it again.

This second watch came at a very strange time in my life. I'd left my very introverted homeschool life behind to go to an art school in another state. I was studying creative writing, and just beginning to dream that I might be an actual writer someday. I've always gotten intensely invested in stories, a part of my ADHD that I've always struggled with. I find a story, and it consumes my soul. I have difficulty expressing emotions in real life, so stories have been an outlet for me to feel things in the persona of a character. It's this incredible power that makes me love storytelling so much. I could go on and on about the beauty of this, but that will get a bit to much so I'll move on. Mah point is...

whenever I would get really invested in a story, my parents would indulge me, but would always feel the need to mention, "You know it's not real, right?"

Anyway, for the first time, I was away from home and I could really indulge in stories without the pressure to disconnect from it to avoid the judgment of my family. For the first time, I could just be in love with a story.

A lot happened during the first year away from home, not all of which is relevant, but around this time I started owning up to my identity as bisexual. Being at an art school meant I was surrounded by queer people from all backgrounds, not all of them had the same support I did, and I witnessed secondhand as my friends went through the pain of having homophobic families who would control what art they made and who they spent time with, threatening to withdraw them from the school if they used certain names or pronouns. It was common for my friends to have a sort of shorthand code for when it was safe to use their preferred name or pronoun. Some came from very religious households, and so religion had been linked very closely to repression.

Good Omens came at a time when I was stretching my wings both in my identity as a person and as a writer and has informed what I write about ever since. As a writer, my work often focuses on themes such as fate and free will, religion and passion, divinity and humanity, and apocalyptic images. Additionally, Good Omens encouraged me to embrace comedy in my writing and to explore the absurd and whimsical. It helped me let go of the vice that held me back from writing things I thought weren't intellectual enough, or weren't creative enough.

I also became aware of the people behind the show, and of course, I grew to admire Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. I admired how Neil Gaiman seemingly defied the inevitable fate of obscure and unsuccessful writers. To me, Neil Gaiman was an example of how writers could actually make it out there in the world. Terry Pratchett, I admit, took less of an interest in because he had been long dead before I became acquainted with Good Omens, and I mistakenly gave Neil Gaiman more credit for the tv show. If you want to know more about why I saw "mistakenly," check out @vidavalor where they talk about the other writers on the show and how much they contributed. It's really quite eye-opening and it gives me hope that the show can continue well enough without Gaimen.

I also grew to become a fan of David Tennent and Micheal Sheen. And when I say a fan of David Tennent, I mean a BIG fan. The Good Omens to Doctor Who pipeline is so f*cking steep I felt like Crowley during the fall. Not just Who, though, I watched stuff like Taking Over the Asylum, Einstein and Eddington, Around the World in 80 Days, Broadchurch, Jessica Jones, Escape Artist, f*king Single Father lol. I even got into Shakespeare because of David Tennent.

The love displayed by the actors for Good Omens feels truly special. Micheal Sheen's devotion to the story shines through in everything he says about it, and David Tennent, though not originally a fan, seems to have grown more and more fond of the story. I think it's not a reach of our imagination to say that the story has become very special to both of them, even more so than to us.

It's rare to see actors treat their roles as more than just a job. The occasional publicity stunt and press tour interviews aside, the roles actors take seldom stick with them, and I think it's a testament to the power of Good Omens that this is not the case for Micheal and David.

Season 2 came out of course, and we all know how that went down. I was has heartbroken as everyone else by the final 15, but I never had any doubt that the story was destined to have a happy ending.

Unlike some shows, where the story likes to flirt with tragedy to keep viewers hooked, Good Omens is not that kind of show. Amidst the pathos and drama of the Christian/Apocalypse setting, with literal heaven and hell involved, the story is relatively clean. I enjoy some Ineffible Husbands spicy fanfiction of course, but I'm glad that Good Omens has remained relatively kid-friendly. Queer themes are so often included only in "adult media," paired with dark themes and often explicit moments making them inaccessible to kids and cementing the idea that Queerness is inherently inappropriate. While Good Omens has the occasional adult reference such as Madam Tracy's side gig as a dominatrix or the 'seamstress,' they are veiled enough to pass. Even the sex scene with Anathama and Newt is comic enough that it can hardly be classified as one. As for heaven and hell, it would be easy to try and stress the darkness of hell through plenty of disturbing subtexts and the brutality of heaven, but here the show errs towards comedy, portraying both sides as corporate systems -- both funny and much more relatable evil than torture or traumatic scenes. It's easier to understand rude co-workers, degrading comments, overbearing bosses and endless paperwork than it is to understand the sources of our perception of good and evil.

Putting Adam Young as the center of the story of season one focuses the entire narrative. At the end of the day, Good Omens is about the ineffable nature of humanity defying all odds (or gods) betting against it. It's a humanist story, showing us that no matter how much the forces of good or evil might like to influence us, whatever we do will up to us.

This theme is constantly referenced, from Crowley's habit of taking credit for anything evil humans do and claiming it was his idea, to Aziraphale's constant assertions that humans are inherently good. It's exemplified by the baby swap disaster, which is a microcosm of this theme. No matter how much the powers above and below might scheme, they're plans generally end up being irrelevant to the choices of humans.

It's why Crowley and Aziraphale love humans so much. Humans are a guide for them, showing them how they can be more than just good and evil, and on our side, it's a hopeful thought to have, that the powers of good and evil looking down on us, instead of judging us, might actually have fallen in love with us along the way. It shows us that we are allowed to love ourselves.

The love that Aziraphale and Crowley have for each other is also at the heart of this story. While it has been discussed at length, it's for good reason. Because we all need a good love story. Amidst the uncertainty and ceaseless change, there is a constant, unbreaking bond between Crowley and Aziraphale-- steady as the revolution of the cosmos. Nothing in the scope of space and time is certain, but this is. We know that because we've seen it. Good Omens manages to create a love story on both a personal and an archetypal scale. On one level, this is a love story between two people from different worlds finding something familiar in each other. It's got the drama of starcrossed love, the steadiness of an age-old love, still with the butterflies of new feelings. As a queer love story, the hope in it is even more important.

Crowley and Aziraphale have all the qualities of two characters that are doomed by the narrative, and as much as I love those types of stories, this is a story about hope and it demands a happy ending. After all, if those two idiots can't get a happy ending, what hope do the rest of us have?

All this is to say, that while the final 15 was shattering emotionally, and still is, I never once doubted that all would be well eventually.

The recent accusations against Neil Gaiman came as a shock to me. I admittedly didn't know all that much about him as a person, but I looked up to him as a writer, as I said. The more that is revealed, the more truthful they become. I hoped that these allegations would end up as a big misunderstanding, and I questioned the timing just after David Tennent was attacked online for his support of the lgbtq community. However, the more information about Gaimen comes to light, the less it looks like a mistake.

This leaves us in a difficult position. It is not selfish to worry about the future of Good Omens. It is not foolish to be surprised. It is not naive to feel betrayed. It would be easy to come to the conclusion that 'no one should be trusted,' or to feel that the whole story has been tainted. It's so easy to write off the whole story as 'ethically complicated' so you don't have to examine your feelings critically. It's easy to 'boycott,' something so you don't have to deal with it, as if by not engaging with it, it's not real. I would urge you not to do this. boycotting a story is not as simple as just refusing to buy a product. Stories are part of culture and identity, to a certain extent, the person you are hurting the most is yourself.

There's a reason I spent so long describing why Good Omens is such an incredibly powerful story, because Neil Gaiman's actions negate none of that. The meaning of Good Omens is not dependent on the actions of the author. A truth is still true, even from the mouth of a liar.

Before I loved Good Omens, I loved Harry Potter. Despite JK Rowling's general shittiness, Harry Potter has brought goodness to people's lives, and even though some themes in the story ought to be examined more critically, the joy and comfort those stories brought also cannot be ignored. I was ten when I started reading Harry Potter. I was too young to grasp the homophonic or anti-semetic undertones in the story, and ironically, Harry Potter taught me to by an ally before I even knew I was queer. Before reading Harry Potter, I didn't know what gay was. After hearing Dumbledore was 'gay,' I did a google search and looked up the term in a dictionary. I remember my thoughts being, "you can do that?" and then, "why are people so upset?"

The point of this Harry Potter tangent is to say that while the intentions of the author may influence a story, the author ultimately can't control the effect the story will have on others. Once it is published, a significant part of it no longer belongs to them. They can't control what messages other people find in it, and they lose the right to decide what messages are true or not. If Neil Gaimen were to say today that Good Omens is all a very complicated metaphor for masturbation, that announcement would mean zilch.

Additionally, Neil Gaiman isn't even the only author! You don't have to give him all that credit to start with. Once again, refer to @vidavalor for info on the other amazing people who may have had a bigger hand in writing our favorite moments that we thought.

The Good Omens fandom has taught me not to be ashamed for loving a fictional story. I've been in the Lotr, Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Marvel, Sherlock, and countless other fandoms, and I can easily say that Good Omens is the most supportive, the most accepting, the most decent online fan community I've found.

We can hang in there. We've loved Good Omens since the book came out, we've loved Good Omens since before I was born, and we loved it even when we lost Terry Pratchett. We loved Good Omens when we thought there would never be a show, and when we thought one season was all there would be. Good Omens has so many kind and talented people behind it and so much love for it. Neil Gaimen will not sink us now. He doesn't have that much power.

@davidtennantgenderenvy also has a video on this that is very thoughtful.

[ezwezz]

GIRLY PLEASE MAKE A YUNJIN X FEMREADER FIC w angst n cheating 🙏🙏🙏

why do you want me to hurt you bby!? gonna be sobbing while writing this

also! i'm sort of winging it with the format and scenario so hopefully it's adequate enough

'i love you'

parings: huh yunjin x fem!reader warnings: cheating, ANGST words: 1k

"i love you more than anything, y/n, no matter what."

yunjin's words from last summer were replaying over and over inside your head. you didn't know what warranted the sentimental flashback, it was just a normal tuesday night spent laying alone, staring into the darkness looming above you. perhaps you just needed the comfort.

you hadn't seen yunjin for 1 month now. the throbbing inside your heart had dulled down and you were left with a familiar emptiness spattered with the occasional 'i miss you baby' or 'sorry for not replying, i've been so busy :('.

you knew yunjin's career came with extortionate sacrifice on both ends, but loving her was all you needed. you'd loved her for two years now, despite the constant hurt of her absence.

"i love you more than anything....no matter what." you whispered the sentence. she'd looked so beautiful while saying it- her earnest brown eyes and furrowed brows as she gently cupped your face, the warmth of her body against yours. it was a fleetingly perfect moment, nothing could compare. you wondered if yunjin thought about it as much as you these days.

---

incoming call: yunijn

"y/n?"

"hey jen, everything okay?"

"baby listen, no matter what you see or what you hear, you have to trust me, i love you. never forget that."

"i love you too...but why are you saying this? has something happened?"

there was silence on the other end of the line. you knew something was wrong and it made your heart pound at an unsteady pace.

"yunjin...what did you do?" your voice sounded small.

"i'm sorry..." there was a quiet sob on the other end of the line, and you immediately knew. in that moment, your entire world came crashing down. everything you'd sacrificed for the woman you loved submerged you, drowned you, it tore you apart.

"i'm not going to ask for your forgiveness..." yunjin's voice drifted into the background as your mind swirled into a messy flurry of emotion. you struggled to comprehend what this meant, grappling with your own feelings, trying to figure out exactly how you felt.

"i'll talk to you later jen." you whispered before ending the call and allowing the tears to cascade down your cheeks. she couldn't even be there to face you herself, you resented her for being able to throw away your relationship like it was nothing.

---

sure enough, you awoke from an almost sleepless night to see every news feed headlining a picture of yunjin kissing an unknown girl outside a club. you switched your phone off, unable to answer any messages reaching out to you with condolences.

reality was a hard truth to face, and the reality of the situation was gouging into you. you never wanted to see her again, to hear her name or her songs.

"i love you more than anything, y/n, no matter what."

you scoffed as the words stung in your head like a venomous bite.

incoming call: yunjin

you immediately switched your phone to airplane mode.

---

the remainder of le sserafim's tour was shrouded with controversy and despite putting on a brave face, the guilt and heartbreak was eating away at yunjin.

you knew their tour was nearing its end, so of course you'd already packed up all your stuff from your shared apartment with yunjin and moved in with a nearby relative. you didn't know whether it made you a coward, avoiding yunjin like this, but you knew you wouldn't be able to face her before taking time to heal. there was the occasional mention of her that crossed your newsfeed, but you made sure to ignore each one, never taking the time to indulge in reopening fresh wounds.

you were home alone when you heard a knock at the front door. it was unusual considering deliveries were never scheduled for this time and you weren't expecting anyone, so you answered the door with caution, opening it just a crack.

"y/n?"

fuck.

you immediately closed the door, scolding your previous fears of creepy men as anything would've been better than this.

"y/n please, just hear me out." a muffled voice begged.

"whatever you're going to say is pointless. i don't want to hear it."

"i understand that but...i think we both need the clarity."

"i really don't need anything from you right now."

"please just open the door, then i promise i'll leave you alone."

"jen- yunjin...this hurts so fucking much. i've spent the past few weeks trying to erase you from my memory and now you're here, expecting me to just...let you near me again. you ruined everything." you could hear yunjin begin to cry softly, as were you.

"i know." she choked through tears. "i know nothing will change what happened and it's killing me y/n. i don't know what to do...i love you so much, you mean the world to me. i don't go a day without missing you and wanting to be near you. i know it's over between us, but please just let me say goodbye properly."

you had nothing to say to her, but you opened the door anyway. it was an impulsive decision fuelled by a fleeting sense of longing for your love, but you immediately regretted it when you laid your eyes on the fresh face that would eternally haunt you. you didn't have time to process the overwhelming surge of emotion before tender arms enveloped your body and held you in an excruciating embrace.

"let me go." you sobbed, not wanting this bittersweet familiarity. but she only held you tighter, her body trembling.

"i love you."

"don't you dare say that, not after..."

"i love you so much. i'll never stop loving you y/n."

"shut up jen, please just leave me alone." you finally succeeded in pushing the woman away, it was like tearing off a bandaid.

her face was streaked with tears and it looked as if she had lost weight. you can't have looked much better.

"i don't want you to forgive me, because you deserve better, you deserve so much more than me. but never forget that i'll always love you, even if our worlds never collide again. i'll always be waiting for you."

and as she began to retreat with her eyes locked onto yours, she uttered one last sentence: "i love you more than anything, y/n, no matter what."

then yunjin turned away from you, not once looking back.

no other sentence could ever torment you as much as that one. but little did you know, it would replay over and over in yunjin's head as she lay alone, staring into the darkness looming above.

[annaphoenix1994]

The Way a Cowboy Should

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

»»-------¤-------««

Four days in the saddle can have a toll on a man, but not a true cowboy like Bud Dutton. Simon admired him - how the man never complained, how he always had a quick wit about the different situations before him, how he never ceased to tell a joke when the time was right, and how honorable he was with anything he did. With dusk approaching, the group was becoming restless after being fueled by beans and coffee and in desperate desire of a shower and a warm bed to sleep in. 

Even with all of these desires arising on everyone's mind, nobody - even Baler - found the time to complain about it. "Baler?" Simon directed, getting his attention. "Go put that cow back in line." 

"Um... H-How do I do that?" 

"Ride up on her left flank and guide her back into the herd!" 

"O-Okay!" Baler nodded, nudging his horse into a lope as he kept his eye on the cow, using his horse to guide the cow back into the herd, looking back towards Simon with the hopes of approval, a big smile smearing across his face after realizing he had done something new. "I want to chase another one!" 

"That time will come, lad," Simon shouted. "Get back in formation!" 

Laughs. Genuine, happy laughs were exchanged between the men - and Teeter - as they herded the two-hundred head of cattle through the valley, eager to get them to Lick Creek to lay over for the night before making their way back to the ranch, each eager to return home to the loved ones waiting for them. With every dusk and dawn, Kiera never failed to slip into Simon's mind, the thought of her greeting him with a warm smile and yearning kiss followed by constant admiring of their children. It never bloody gets old, he thought. I can't wait for her to be my wife. 

After nightfall came, it was roughly eleven o'clock before the group got the cattle and horses settled in for the night, Simon settling under a nearby tree to shield him from the morning sun when it arose. Sitting with his back against the bark, he crossed his ankles as he scrolled through the photos of Kiera and his children on his phone, wishing he could be granted with a bar of service to send a quick I love you text message, grimacing as he didn't have the privilege he had wished for. 

"One day, you'll be glad to not have that little box beeping at you every twenty minutes." Bud chuckled, his saddle landing next to Simon before he slowly took a seat next to him. 

"You're still awake, old man?" Simon chuckled, watching Bud take a seat next to him before reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out two cigars. 

Bud reached one over to him, "I invite you sir to celebrate another drive." 

"I better not. Kiera would kill me-"

"Why'd you think I brought these cigars for a trip she wasn't on?" Bud chuckled. "Eva threatens to kill me every time she smells the smoke on me, but she don't. I quite like makin' her mad sometimes," He admitted while both of them chuckled. "She's cute when she's mad." 

"You and me both, sir. I quite like making your daughter mad sometimes," Simon admitted. "On minor things, though-"

"No need to explain," He chuckled. "I know what you mean. You still planning on that honeymoon you were telling me about?" 

Simon smirked, "Yeah. I just want to give her something extravagant - something she had never done before. I figured what better way to do it than for our honeymoon." 

"Well, you know Eva and I will be more than happy to watch the kids for you," Bud smiled, nudging Simon's elbow with his. "I quite envy you - I'd never been able to dress up in period clothing." 

"Me either, but her favorite show is Peaky Blinders and there's a sort of convention in Birmingham and I know she'd love to dress up in that time period. And I meant to tell you, but I never could get you away from earshot of her - there's a ship coming back to the states that sponsors the convention, so we'll be coming back to the states in that time period so to speak." 

"She'd love that. I don't know what Squeaky Blinders is, but I'm sure she'd love it."

Simon chuckled at Bud's misunderstanding, "I'm quite excited for it too."

"Well, I have something I want to give you," Bud said, puffing a cloud of cigar smoke as he reached into his coat pocket. "Consider it as a wedding gift for future use." 

Simon furrowed his brows as he fondled with the two pieces of folded paper between his fingers, taking a few moments before he opened the folded papers. 

A land deed with a handwritten note:

"I know, it's a lot to take in," Bud snickered. "But don't get all sentimental... I've done shed my tears when I wrote it." 

"Sir, I- I truly don't know what to say-"

"Your reaction is enough, son," Bud assured him with a smile, clasping his free hand on Simon's shoulder. "I've been chompin' at the bit to give this letter to you, but I figured now is the right time." 

"What makes you say that?" 

Simon saw that Bud had something on his mind, like he knew he had to give the deed to him soon but chose not to pester him about it. "I just... Felt like I needed to give it to you before the wedding."

"I-Well, thank you, sir. Really. I don't know how I can top what you've done with this place." 

"Your kids, Simon. They are what makes this ranch a home."

Simon smirked, "You sure it's not past your bedtime?" 

"My bedtime is when I'm dead'n gone, buddy." 

The men chuckled, Simon shaking his head as he tucked away Bud's gift within the confines of the breast pocket of his jacket, his gaze turning to Bud when he saw him splay a wool blanket over his legs. "How'd you tote a blanket up here, old man?"

"I traded out my slicker and I gambled it wouldn't rain. I think I gambled right!" 

"You know, I've come to believe perfection only lives in little moments, ya know? Can't be sustained over hours, just instances - little wisps of time. Then the world becomes imperfect again. This day damn near proved me wrong." 

"And to think I didn't think you'd be sentimental," Bud snickered. "But, if it wasn't perfect, it was damn near close." 

"Yeah, damn close indeed." Simon replied, he and Bud sharing a laugh.

"A former British S.A.S sittin' on the side of a mountain in Wyoming with his old goat of a father-in-law, sleepin' with his boots on after tellin' me at one point he'd never step foot in America - Damn, this world may have a chance yet." Bud poked as he laid down against his saddle. 

"You keep your head up in that saddle, old man. I don't need to listen to your snoring. I hear it enough lying next to Kiera at night." 

Bud laughed, "Where do ya think she gets it from? Her dear old daddy. Thank the good Lord she didn't get her looks from me!" 

"She still would've been perfect enough for me." 

"Wise words, son. Wise words." 

Simon chuckled, "Just like Kiera has told me before: if you can't sleep through a man's snoring or hers, you're not tired enough." 

"I remember tellin' her that when she was a little girl. She'd always complain about my snorin' when we went on cattle drives." 

"I bet she was a little savage growing up, yeah?" 

"Buddy, you have no idea! You better hope that little girl of yours doesn't have a spittin' image of her attitude!" 

"I have a feeling she will be," Simon smirked. "I've already prepared myself for it." 

"Good man," Bud yawned. "I'll see you on the other side." 

"I'll see you on the other side, mate. Goodnight." Simon chuckled, oblivious to what Bud actually meant. 

"Goodnight. Keep forgettin' you're a Brit." He teased. 

"Hopefully my kids learn my accent." 

"Let's argue about this in the morning." He snickered. 

"Sounds like a plan to argue over tea." 

»»-------¤-------««

Simon awoke once he sensed the sun arise, sitting up and running a free hand through his hair before putting back on his hat. He looked over at Bud, seeing his mouth agape and his eyes closed peacefully. Considering it was still somewhat dark with minor light from the morning sun, Simon decided to leave him be knowing that the old man deserved his rest. 

"Looks like I slept through your snoring, old man." He chuckled to himself before walking towards the high line to saddle up his horse, surprised that he saw Baler with Johnny and Teeter, each doing the same. 

"I don't mind working for less than minimum wage, but these mornings with no-coffee rubbish..." Johnny complained, his voice hoarse with exhaustion. 

"It's cowboy shit, baby." Teeter giggled. 

"It'll just make it taste that much better once you get down the hill, Soap Sud." Baler snickered. 

"There you go, mate. Drink up some of that cowboy wisdom!" Simon chimed, his face decorated with a smirk as he joined them, patting his horse on the neck with his free hand while his saddle and pad occupied his other. 

"Just one peaceful morning without you poking at me would be great, L.T." 

"Unfortunately for you, that'll never happen." 

"Where's grandpa?" 

"He's still asleep. I figured I'd let him sleep in since all we have to do is ride back to the ranch." 

"Woah, stone cold Simon has a heart?" Teeter poked. 

"It's a cold one, but it's soft for ones he respects." Johnny answered for him. 

"Ain't that the truth." 

"Alright, now I know who's in charge of cooking breakfast." 

"Who?" 

"You, lad."

"Why?" Baler scoffed. 

"Because you're the first one to have your horse saddled and already talking your shite. Go on." 

The teen huffed, slumping his shoulders as he made his way towards the small fire, sitting on a nearby log as he prepared to heat a can of beans for breakfast. I can't wait to eat mom's breakfast tomorrow, he thought. 

"Father of the year, eh?" Johnny teased. "Looks like you have him all under control." 

"I don't know about that, but we've come a long way that's for sure." 

»»-------¤-------««

Once the morning sun shone across the Wyoming landscape, Simon took notice that Bud hadn't joined them for their late breakfast. Staying on foot, he led his horse towards the tree that he and Bud slept under the night before, seeing him in the same position since he last saw him. "I know it's our day to ride home, but we can get there sooner if you wake up, mate." 

Once he got closer, his playful smirk faded into a frown once he saw the purple and light blue haze that took over his complexion. 

Bud had passed away. 

Sighing heavily through his nose, he looked down at his feet, unaware that a tear had slipped down his cheek. "Well, I couldn't have thought of a better death for you even if you paid me," He sighed. "Sir, I know what you meant when you said you'd see me on the other side. I just hope you're waiting for me with a cigar and a glass of whiskey." 

"Dad! You coming?" Baler shouted from less than a hundred feet away, riding his horse closer to him and stopping once he realized what had happened. "Oh, shit. W-What do we do?" 

"Go get the satellite phone from Teeter. We're not leaving until he is taken care of." 

"Yes, sir." 

»»-------¤-------««

Several hours later, Simon, Johnny, Baler, and Teeter arrived back to the ranch, Baler taking Simon's horse to settle them in while Simon was left to deliver the news to Eva and Kiera, his heart breaking at the thought of what he was to say when the time came.

He forced a smile when he watched Eva stand to her feet after seeing him approach from the porch, a warm and welcoming smile splaying across her face. "Come back in one piece I see!" She smiled. "How are you, sweetheart?" 

"I'm well, thank you," He breathed, welcoming her embrace. "I wouldn't stand too close, I probably don't smell too good." 

"Honey, I can't count on my little old fingers how many times I've smelled Bud with cologne. I'm used to the smell of a man who's been laying in the dirt and sleeping against leather," She giggled, reaching up to wipe a streak of dirt from Simon's cheek. "I figured he would've walked up with you? Did he get caught up talking again?" She smiled. 

Simon sighed, "Where's Kiera?" 

"She went into town with Kristen. They took the kids. Something about going for lunch. She said she tried to text you-"

"No, no, that's okay. I didn't have service the entire time," Simon shook his head. "I-I need to tell you something, I-"

Simon's heart broke when he watched Eva's usual and cheerful face fall into a frown. "Wh-? Si-Simon?" 

She watched him shake his head, avoiding eye contact with her as she slowly put together the pieces. "I'm so sorry, love-"

"-How?" She began to cry, her knees buckling from under her as Simon hastily reached out to catch her, helping her sit on the nearby chair while he rested on one knee in front of her, his frame nearly towering over her as she sat, letting her cling to his coat while she cried, providing a comforting and empathetic embrace for his mother-in-law. 

"Like a cowboy should," He sighed. "His head on his saddle, looking up at the stars, and having a humorous conversation with a friend. He closed his eyes and passed in his sleep." 

He held Eva close as she wept, letting her use the collar of his coat to wipe her tears, "I sure hope that conversation was with you, Simon. He spoke so highly of you." 

"I know," He assured her. "We even had a cigar." 

"I'm not surprised," She forced a playful tone. "I smelled it on you before you even said anything."

"He mentioned he always liked to pick at you and make you mad." 

"That he did," She sniffled. "I can't lie and say I enjoyed that stupid little smirk he did when I'd get irritated with him." 

"I saw it every day, love." 

[its-dean]

I’ve been posting on other online platforms about Fossil Fighters for a long time now, and most who are familiar with what I share know that a lot of my content has a heavy focus on original vivosaur ideas. With these vivosaurs I come up with, as well as the stats I create to go with them, I notice that there are often people questioning whether what I come up with would be balanced or not from a gameplay standpoint.

As I’ve gone on with developing this unique vision for my vivosaurs, I’ve also slowly refined my idea of Fossil Battles entirely. All of us are aware that both the original Fossil Fighters and Fossil Fighters Champions don’t have the best balancing in the world. There are certain cast members and even a few core game mechanics that allow so many otherwise memorable characters to fall to the wayside, and with the stats I was coming up with I was only further encouraging that type of hostile environment. The more I worried about whether something I was coming up with would feel realistic or balanced the more I considered the fact that the formula itself may have been broken in the first place.

There have been others in the community that have projected their own ideas of how to change things up regarding gameplay, things like adding new elements or even having customizable skills. Because the series felt like it had ended so suddenly there's become so much to dream for in a potential sequel. These are the people that inspired me to attempt something similar myself back when I was making my vivosaur last year. It inspired me to take a step back with my thinking and ultimately led to me creating a total re-imagining of the classic battle system we all know and love. 

That's the thing, the games may not be perfectly balanced, but I always find how these games work to be something that's just inherently fun in a very unique way. Above everything else, with this project I wanted the new system I was creating to still have the "feel" of having a good old-fashioned Fossil Battle. These games have incredible potential for an interesting competitive landscape, just if only some of those unbalanced mechanics were to be adjusted. This is what I strive to achieve the most with my ideas: an environment where every vivosaur has something practical to them, a format where you CAN win using your favorite vivosaurs. The only thing that should stop you is how well thought-out and unique of a strategy you can come up with.

Fossil Fighters Odyssey is a personal project of mine that I've technically been working on for over half a decade now. Still, I think it's most important to stress the fact that everything I come up with and will be talking about in this post is for fun. This shouldn't explicitly be seen as a vehicle for a potential fan game, I make these things for my own enjoyment and have no plans or obligations to turn any of these ideas into tangible content in the future. We all can pretty unanimously agree that it’s fun to dream about a theoretical continuation of this franchise, especially because of how it felt like it came to such an abrupt halt in a way none of us were really ready for. This project is simply meant to represent the changes I'd most want to see if that were to ever somehow happen, and that vision of mine simply might not appeal to your individual preferences.

But now moving to the fun stuff itself. I strive to be as in-depth as possible when taking into account how I would rework the gameplay, taking a comprehensive look at the entire series. To keep things feeling familiar while also feeling like an "evolution" of sorts, I found it most compelling to try and utilize standout mechanics from all three of the previous games. Yes, that includes Frontier because, while I can't defend its battle system as a whole, I do think there are some features it introduced that can really enhance potential team building and strategy (mainly referring to the boost system it uses).

Since there are far too many changes to cover in a text post, I created a PowerPoint to explain everything in a more presentable and organized way. The link to it can be found directly below this paragraph, with the presentation being separated in order of different areas of discussion, from how vivosaurs have changed to the differences in the battle system to new and altered abilities and so much more! Plus, attached to this post are the stat sheets for every single vivosaur, #1-300. My own vivosaurs as well as the 10 unique vivosaurs from Frontier are included in the lineup, and all the vivosaurs you're already familiar with have received numerous changes and enhancements to their skill sets so that they can thrive in this new Fossil Battling format.

Link to the PowerPoint (in case the picture quality is too poor to be able to read on this website)

FFO Mechanics.pptx

Link to all 300 vivosaurs and their stat sheets:

FFO All Vivosaurs.pptx

(Disclaimer: not all of the vivosaurs have artwork to correspond with their dino medals, but those will be hopefully trickling out down the line in the future.)

To round things out, I definitely want to thank the people that have already been supporting me and the things I create these past few years elsewhere. Without the level of the recognition and approval I see from the people who always respond to what I make, I definitely never would've come this far with developing my ideas. You guys are the ones who've been enjoying these things, from vivosaurs to characters to the overarching story I hope to one day be able to share with you all. I owe it to you for allowing myself to become as invested in my favorite series as I now am. And hey, depending on how people react to what I have here I may make another post outlining the more creative story and character elements I have in mind… 

Thank you to everyone who's been there for all this time, as well as anyone willing to read through everything I've been able to put together here, this project never could've been completed without you all for me to share it with.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The Owl House Pilot

Huh. Never thought I’d get to do this again, but oh well.

Salutations, random people on the internet! I’m an Ordinary Schmuck! I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

And, above all else, I LOVE talking about The Owl House. I have an entire masterpost dedicated to talking about every single episode of the show and I’m halfway through a six-part review discussing everything that I love about it (Part Four's coming when it’s done. Let’s say…late June. Early July at the latest). I figured that after I’d finished that whole deal, I wouldn’t have anything left to talk about when it came to this series. Then, out of nowhere, the show’s original pilot leaked online…Sort of. It’s just an animatic with the show’s original voice cast voicing MOST of the lines, but it’s very much the pilot episode. It’s just not a finished product and I won’t share a link because I don’t think it’s exactly…legal. BUT I will at least share my thoughts about it because, well…Look at my blog. The Owl House has become the BIG THING that I obsess over for a reason and I love that I got to see what’s basically an alternate version of the show that I love. What do I mean?

Well, a pilot is MUCH different from a first episode. Where the first episode is meant to sell the show to the audience, a pilot is meant to sell it to a STUDIO. It can happen at any point of the story or act as the show’s first episode. Just as long as it shows off the characters, concepts, and tone, a studio can look at it, greenlight it, and allow the show to continue, BUT with some extra notes. Sometimes, those notes can change the rest of the series where others can keep the pilot good enough to stay canon. Some best examples off the top of my head are the pilots for Regular Show and Rick and Morty. You can tell that not much changed from the pilots of those shows and what was initially pitched, but there are clear changes in tone, animation, and even personality. Skips sounds a little more illiterate and Benson being more informed of the consequences of something as simple as rock, paper, scissors in the Regular Show pilot and Rick is noticeably more reckless and unprepared for situations in the Rick and Morty pilot. Nothing is set in stone with a pilot episode, even the ones that are canon. For the case of The Owl House, it’s pilot is no exception. A lot of it is just the same as “A Lying Witch and A Warden” at least in terms of plot and themes, but there are so many changes that show off what the series COULD HAVE been instead of what it was. How different? Well, let’s go through it all.

But real quick, I’m not going to do the “Like/Dislike” format I’ve done for previous reviews. Instead, I’m going to look through this pilot, note the changes it has, and share my thoughts on them. There’s also going to be a few spoilers to what happens in this pilot, so if you haven’t checked it out then I suggest giving it a watch wherever you can find it. It really is interesting to get a peak into what’s basically an alternate version of my favorite show.

With that said, let’s get into it.

Some Things Stayed the Same: Like I said, it’s basically an altered version of “A Lying Witch and A Warden.” The plot is that Eda uses Luz to get King back his “crown of power,” with some bits and pieces carrying over. Certain jokes that must have been too funny to get rid of, specific lines of dialogue that hit just the right notes, and some aspects of the characters’ personalities being just the same, proving that they're already perfect the way they are. It’s the changes, however, that makes for something more interesting. For one…

There’s More of an Emphasis on Comedy: As much as I love The Owl House, I’ll always admit that humor isn't its strong suit. It CAN be funny, really funny. But the jokes don’t land as well as something as Gravity Falls or Amphibia. I can say that a part of that could be because Dana Terrace wanted a more serious show, and we definitely get a sense of how serious it could be later in the series. Here, in the pilot, it definitely seems like there was more of an attempt to make the show comedic. King’s crown isn’t in a warden’s cell held within a magical barrier that only a human can get through. It’s in a Principal’s high school, locked in a human locker that Eda and King treat as something devious. Amity’s friends aren’t preppy mean girls who seem like they could cause conflict to Luz and her friends. They’re characters used for jokes who are amazed by Luz standing up to Lilith. There’s less of an edge and more of a lean towards cutesy fun, waiting until the very end to reveal something heavy. To me, it makes the pilot feel MORE like a Gravity Falls clone than the final product. Because while Gravity Falls has its serious moments, it makes it clear that it was a comedy first, both in the pilot and final product. Any moment of heart or drama was overshadowed by one hilarious joke after the other. Now, “A Lying Witch and A Warden” had a lot of jokes too, but there were also these moments that hinted at something more. You have the oppressive looking prison, the grand beam of light hiding human collectibles, a crazy chase from a threatening looking warden. And yes, the reveal that Warden Wrath was trying to go out with Eda was hilarious, but a warden who tortures a prisoner for speaking her truth gives a hint of how dark this world can be. Meanwhile, a principal sending a student to demon detention feels more like a joke, exaggerating how strict some principals can be.

And keep in mind, I’m not complaining about the pilot leaning more towards comedy. I actually laughed a lot more with it than I did with “A Lying Witch and A Warden.” I’m just trying to explain how the tone is definitely going for something different than the full series. It might have that darker twist in the end, but even that is nothing more than a surprise. I'll get into why later, but while it has darker implications, it doesn't detract from the fun times to be had. Not by much. From what I can gather from the pilot, it’s definitely going for a series with goofy, fun adventures with a bit of heart to it. It’s just missing that personal touch that’s in The Owl House. One good example of how?

There’s Not Even a MENTION of Camila: Before you say anything, this has nothing to do with me being Camila’s number one fan, to the point where I almost made a side-blog dedicated to her (I really should get on that, though…)

I bring up this change because Camila grounds the story in “A Lying Witch and A Warden.” She draws Luz close to reality and is the first thing that comes to Luz’s mind when in real danger, saying, “If I die, my mom will kill me!” More than that, though, Camila is the one real connection Luz has to the human realm. She has no friends nor adventures, but Luz always has Camila, with even the first episode hinting that. So when Luz starts getting herself into trouble or choosing to lie and stay in the Boiling Isles, it lets the audience get ready for the inevitable drama that could unfold when Luz finally tells Camila everything. By removing Camila, though, the anticipation of Luz telling her mom goes away with her. At least, it tells ME that there’s less of a worry about Luz basically running away from home. Either this version of the show is holding off from that for a future episode or that Luz and Camila’s relationship isn’t close enough where it matters. This is speculation, of course, but I still stand by that a sense of something personal with Luz is lost for the sake of having fun and epic fantasy adventures with entertaining characters. It’s still good and entertaining, and the pilot does offer something else that’s personal, but it’s not the same as The Owl House we all fell in love with. Though, it’s notable that our main cast stayed the same.

Luz, Eda, and King: Overall, I’d say that these three, personality wise, didn’t change much. King’s probably the least altered, being the exact same character he was in Season One aside from MAYBE having a design change (It’s hard to tell through storyboards). As for Luz and Eda, they’re more or less the same. There’s a BIG change with Eda (That I’ll get to later), but her devil-may-care attitude is very much the same, as well as her snark and soft nature towards Luz and King. It’s her magic that gets the real boost, being able to do more like teleport across the Isles and turn into a…softer version of the Owl Beast at will. It’s pretty cool to see the power that this alternate Owl Lady has. And then there’s Luz, who’s still the lovable weirdo we all know. Though, this version seems a lot more dim and I’m not really a fan. How does she mistakenly give a book report in geometry class? How did it take seeing Amity’s witch ears to realize that she belonged in the demon realm? Luz had her dumb moments in the show too, but not to this extent. There was still a sense of maturity and cognitive understanding that made Luz feel like someone that seemed weird but intelligent enough to think herself out of a situation. This Luz seems more weird and focused on using brute force on a problem. In a way, it makes Pilot!Luz more of an…emotionally driven Star Butterfly. A fun and capable character, but not the same kind I had made several posts and reviews talking about how much I love/personally connected to her. But, comparatively, I guess it IS the most minor change that could be done to this character. Now let’s move onto BIGGER changes.

The Boiling Isles: The look and feel of the Isles remains the same, but the fact that it’s more connected to the Human Realm is intriguing. From what I can tell, the Demon Realm treats traveling to the Human Realm like it’s going to a new country. You visit, make some memories, and, for some, send your children over to be a foreign exchange student of sorts. Except that racism seems to be encouraged in this regard as the demons and witches don’t see humans worth breathing the same air as them. And some think it’s more than okay to hunt down and kill if one human trespasses into their realm. And the reason for THAT is implied to be Belos’ doing. Er, I mean–*Checks the leaked pitch bible*--Emperor Pupa? Uh…I’ll just stick with Belos. 

And that’s extra fascinating to me because Belos being a witch hunter was a major twist that spoke VOLUMES of the kind of people he represents. To find out that this version is more anti-human makes me curious of what kind of angle the show would have taken. Would Belos have been your bare-bones fantasy villain or would the writers find a different way to tackle his symbolism? And is the reason why the Demon Realm is more open up to the Human Realm because he hopes witches and demons can report about their enemies for a possible invasion? There’s no way to know for sure because that version of the story will never come to be, but it’s interesting to think of all the things we COULD have gotten. The same goes for other characters.

Amity: To think, Amity was considered important enough to be included in the original pitch pilot alongside our main trio. It makes sense. Dana Terrace has gone on record in saying that Luz and Amity’s relationship was something she wanted from the get go, so it’s smart to establish it as quickly as possible. Though the route they take is definitely different. Instead of being enemies to lovers, Lumity, in the original pitch, went for the friends to lovers trope…kind of.

Luz, in this version, is someone so desperate for positive attention and respect that she latches onto the first person in school that was nice to her. Except that Amity was looking for some quiet and just so happened to look like she was supporting Luz when telling everyone to leave her alone. It was an act of kindness, but not one done in generosity. It still meant the world to Luz, though, making her go ALL IN with friendship. Only to be a little too forward and creeped Amity out to the point where she was polite enough to say “Thank you,” but you could see the desperation in her eyes to be anywhere but next to Luz. Yet Luz doesn’t see that. She’s still too focused that someone was actually nice to her that she blindly follows Amity into a new world just to return a weird looking passport. Because Amity’s Luz’s friend now and friends do nice things to each other. Only for Amity to accidentally reveal that she couldn’t care less for Luz and shatter her hopes and dreams in one fell swoop.

In a weird way, I’d say Luz and Amity are off on a better first impression here than in the original series. There’s no attempted dissections or witch’s duels. Just…Amity trying to be polite in Luz’s presence only to act like your typical mean girl when she THINKS Luz isn’t around. Tossing away the drawing is harsh for sure, but here’s the interesting thing: Amity didn’t know she was talking to Luz at that moment. She didn’t even get rid of the drawing until someone drew (haha) attention to it. If anything, it’s worth noting that Amity still kept the drawing on her. Almost like, despite being weirded out by Luz, Amity felt as though the drawing WAS cute and only got rid of it when she thought someone would question her for having it. Can’t have that Little Miss Perfect status shatter over something some human gave her.

Am I reaching as a Lumity shipper? Oh, most certainly yes. But we all know the inevitable conclusion between these two. We know where they’re headed. Dana has been pretty adamant about wanting it from the start and this pilot sets the groundwork well. Knowing where these two will end up, it’s easy to make connections and hypothesize what means what. Plus, look at the face of shock and amazement on Amity’s face when she sees Luz standing up to Lilith. That looks like a girl who’s…feeling things for this human weirdo. They’re not off to a ROARING start, but I can see how things could improve between Luz and Amity. And who knows, maybe this version of these two might end up dating sooner with how quickly they seem interested in each other. Again, am I reaching? Most definitely, but I went without any new Lumity content for over a year so LET ME REACH!

The point I’m trying to make is that this version of Amity definitely seems a lot more chill and polite at the start, even though it’s likely she still has issues of even being FRIENDS with a human. But not everyone starts off polite.

Lilith: Crazy to think that Lilith started out as…basically a one-off villain like Warden Wrath. At least, that’s what I gathered from the pilot. The pitch bible hints that there COULD be more to her, but at the same time she gets sent to a fire dimension and loses a hand. That’s one-off villain energy if I’ve ever seen it. But if she is meant to be something more, I would love to see what differences could come of her being the headmaster of Hexside instead of Bump and how she could either develop into someone better through Luz’s influence as a student or regress into someone worse as she makes Luz’s school life a living hell. Whatever could come from her, it was kind of fun seeing Lilith act as more of a threat with her…out of nowhere ability to turn into a bat monster. It’s a pretty cool design and I love that it was brought out due to Eda’s constant pestering, proving that Lilith is still the same insecure nut that I love. And it is pretty great that this pilot confirmed that Lilith really did dye her hair to look more serious. You CAN’T tell me that’s not why the Lilith we know ditched the curly red hair.

But that’s about it when it comes to changes towards characters and locations. Let’s talk about the potential differences in the ongoing story.

Luz Stays Trapped Instead of Choosing to Stay: I mean, technically she chose to stay by breaking that key for no reason, but that’s more of a consequence of not thinking things through. She didn’t NEED to break the key, Luz could have just as easily pulled it out. Instead, she kicked the dang thing, leaving herself trapped in this new world. And it’s here that I would like to once again point out how this makes Pilot!Luz different and what’s lost by not including Camila. The Luz WE know would have been more careful. She always felt like someone who fought smarter, not harder, even in that first episode. Luz didn’t fight Wrath head on, she rallied a prison riot that distracted him long enough for her to hit a firework ball into his mouth. She’s intelligent and resourceful, where this one…kind of is? It was smart to send Lilith to the fire dimension, but again, not a great plan to break the key. Plus, without Camila, this doesn’t feel like as big of a deal as it could have been. Camila was the first person in Luz’s mind as she destroyed the portal door in the Season One finale. In the pilot, with no Camila, it feels like a non-sacrifice or even that big of a deal. She’s stuck, sure, but Luz doesn’t really seem to care that much. She feels happy being with Eda and King and doesn’t seem to be in that big of a rush to get home. Plus, it’s not exactly complicated to get back. There was a whole line of portal doors in the beginning that Luz could potentially sneak through and there’s not yet an established cannon that makes it seem like getting a new key would be difficult or even complicated. Once more, it gives the impression that this version of The Owl House would be focused less on personal stakes and more like giving Luz that fantasy adventure she’s always been craving for. It would make for a fun show, but not the SAME show. However, it is worth noting that there could be some potential drama. Especially for one twist that was a JOLT to my system.

EDA WORKS FOR THE EMPEROR?!: WHAT?!

I’ll admit, I feel like the reason why this is so shocking is because of the Eda I know and the Emperor I learned to fear. I mean, Eda, the woman who would sooner eat her own fist before even CONSIDERING helping Belos, even before the witch hunter business, was originally meant to HELP him. Of all the changes that the series could have made, this was by far the biggest. Everything that I thought to be constant turned out to be a lie and I was NOT prepared for it!

But again, the reason why I got that big of a reaction is because it goes against everything I knew about Eda. If this was my first introduction to her, it’d be less of a shocking twist and more of a…hook. Like how Invincible’s first episode (Don’t watch if you’re a baby) ends with a character you THOUGHT you could trust doing this intensely dark thing. The rest of the season is leading you to figure out WHY this was done and how the other characters would react, making you want to see more as the show inevitably leads up to this big conclusion that changes everything you once knew. The same applies here, with the reveal making me wonder why Eda would do this, how long she’s been doing it, how it will affect her relationship with Luz, and whether or not it’d be an easy fix. And much like the ending of Invincible’s first episode (Seriously, NOT meant for babies), this hook makes me interested in wanting to see what comes next. Except I never will know because that came from a version of The Owl House that will never exist.

The pilot is interesting because it shows me what The Owl House COULD have been. I wouldn’t say that it’s better than what we got or even that it’s a better first impression than “A Lying Witch and A Warden.” It’s definitely FUNNIER, I’ll give it that, but it doesn’t make the original pitch better, it makes it different. Everything looks the same and sounds the same, but the overall feel of this pilot makes it something that would have had a different story, tone, and ideas on how to develop these characters. Would I have liked it? Absolutely. It seems like a fun time. But that doesn’t mean I like the show we got any less. This was more like…getting a peek into an alternate universe where a show I already love would have been vastly different. And after over a year without any new Owl House content aside from stuff that fans have made, this was a very pleasant surprise that leaves me excited for the NEW fan content that springs from all this.

But that’s enough talking about a show that could have been made. Time to get back to a series that came into existence and I still love so much. See you all then as you all milk this gift that the internet has given you.

[morskisir]

i'm really curious why you dislike the comics? /genq /nm

ooooh the dreaded question. i can get really passionate about this (i care too much) so i'm going to be as brief and simple as i can. i'm aware many people enjoy the comics and that's fine. /gen you do you. like i said; i care too much

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: we have no clue how much time or dedication was given to the comics by valve; the poor writing isn't necessarily the fault of the writers and i have no personal beef with them! with that said, old man yells at cloud /ref under read more/keep reading.

the two main gripes i have with the comics are lack of planning and tone problems.

as i already said, the lack of planning- and therefore the poor writing- does not mean the comic team was incompetent (the art is quite good a lot of the time, actually), but this does mean it severely hurts the quality of the comics themselves. it's clear they aren't sure where they're taking this (as evident by whatever the fuck is going on with helen) and what the story is even supposed to mean. the tone goes hand in hand with the poor planning; the comics aren't sure whether they want to be purely comical and action-focused or a DARK comedy; having serious moments and themes in the story.

in the end, the serious moments come off as either manipulative (iykyk. i am not getting angry about this for 40 minutes again) or as if they're being made fun of (cough cough sniper).

they also struggle to really build up those moments, so sometimes it feels as if they just came out of nowhere. it's really jarring.

there's also just. not a lot of conflict between the main cast?? there isn't a lot of pressure put on pauling from the mercs via questioning her actions, etc. (we only slightly get this from spy. but like once) (i get that it's to show how much trust they have in her but, really? not a single thing?) (this could build up to like. a "grand betrayal" sort of thing but yknow. they didnt think about the build up to anything)

this is why i think making it JUST the RED team really hurts the story- they already have set dynamics and don't need to develop or sort through any conflicts they have with one another. medic only has conflict with sniper of all people. MEDIC. who went to join another team which was actively hunting his previous one.

the comics introduce conflict and new dynamics by straight up making up new characters?? as much as i love zhanna- she was primarily put into the story just to be soldier's love interest and have a fun dynamic with him.... i'm so sorry miss.

they could've done that with demo btw?? since demo and soldier are supposed to be friends?? unless actually the team differences DO matter (which the comics do not make clear at all, engie is randomly blue while the rest are red. okay. why? wouldn't you like to know.) so red soldier and red demo dont bounce off of eachother as much as blu soldier and red demo do.

i'm not formatting this at all but remember the poor planning? ahem. sniper timeline. why did you make him barely 30. i will fucking kill you he was always clearly meant to be, look, and sound like an old man. its in his concept art its in how he talks. raghghgh

they keep giving themselves problems by adding new characters cause then the main fucking mercs who people adore get no time for themselves (demo, pyro, scout, engie) they're just kinda......there. it sucks. but it's what we got, i guess. just how canon the comics are is questionable- but i don't care if they are.

it's free real estate i'm doing my own thing!!!!!!!!!!! fuck around find out!!!!! be gay do crime!!!!!!! *gets arrested by valve for tampering with copyrighted material*

anyways, after all that negativity; shoutout to the only stuff i enjoyed from the comics: pauling, heavy, the art. goob byeeeeeeee

[theredrenard]

Fic Title Ideas

I spent a good chunk of time sorting through my Spotify for fic title inspiration, and compiled a list of lyrics + their sources/links under the cut.

Fair warning, I did come up with these with a certain ship in mind so they’re specifically tailored to what was going through my mind at the time.

Enjoy, and keep being creative! 💛

Format: Lyric/Title "Song Title" Artist (Spotify link to song)

This list will be periodically updated as I find new lyrics

🌟.•*💫*•⭐️*~•.🌙.•~*⭐️•*💫*•.🌟

Can an angel fall past Hell? (Lived a life meant for someone else)

“Man Eater” Rivals (x)

No way out (You gave me light)

“On Accident” Nico Collins (x)

I swear (I only fell for you on accident)

“On Accident” Nico Collins (x)

Days like these, you wanna get away (Close our eyes, pretend we’re miles away)

“Thelma + Louise” Bastille (x)

They say that love is forever (Your forever is all that I need)

“Scene One - James Dean & Aubrey Hepburn” Sleeping With Sirens (x)

All my life I’ve been on my own (I used the light to guide me home)

“Stockholm Syndrome” One Direction (x)

You know what I’m thinking (See it in your eyes)

“Die for you” The Weeknd (x)

Open your eyes and see (The way our horizons meet)

“All of the stars” Ed Sheeran (x)

How do you fall in love? (Harder than a bullet could hit you)

“River” BRKN LOVE (x)

I know we only just met (So why do I feel invested?)

“Telephone” Waterparks (x)

I can be your best bet (Future favorite regret)

“Telephone” Waterparks (x)

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day (You got me in a spin but everything is a-okay)

“I Believe in a Thing Called Love” The Darkness (x)

My heart's in overdrive (You're behind the steering wheel)

“I Believe in a Thing Called Love” The Darkness (x)

A piece of you between my teeth (Keep me as a memory)

“Your Name” Artio (x)

So why do I still wake up, two in the morning (Cold sweat, screamin' your name)

“Why do I” Set It Off (x)

Screamin' my lungs out for you, not afraid to face it (I need you more than I want to)

“Shameless” Camila Cabello (x)

So many mornings I woke up confused (In my dreams, I do anything I want to you)

“Shameless” Camila Cabello (x)

There’s no hurry (Don’t you worry)

“Your man” Josh Turner (x)

I think I like you (Maybe more than I should)

“I think I like you” The Band CAMINO (x)

All my nights taste like gold (When I'm with you it's like everything glows)

“Waking up slow” Gabrielle Aplin (x)

I could rearrange (Would you do the same?)

“Waking up slow” Gabrielle Aplin (x)

It's like I never had a doubt (I love you like the sun came out)

“Waking up slow” Gabrielle Aplin (x)

I never thought I needed saving (I was right where I should be)

“What have I done” Dermot Kennedy (x)

Ever since the other night I've been thinking (About the way you smile golden)

“What have I done” Dermot Kennedy (x)

We were running in the dark (We were following our hearts)

“Falling Apart” Michael Schulte (x)

No grave can hold my body down (I’ll crawl home to [him]) *

“Work Song” Hozier (x)

*this lyric was changed from ‘her’ to ‘him’ to suit the ship I had in mind

If the Lord don't forgive me, I'd still have my baby (And my babe would have me)

“Work Song” Hozier (x)

I'm lost without you (A broken clock without you)

“Soft” Babygirl (x)

The world is ugly (But you're beautiful to me)

“The world is ugly” My Chemical Romance (x)

Blood on my shirt (Heart in my hand)

“Teeth” 5 Seconds of Summer (x)

I wish you were here (Won't you fall for me?)

“Fall for Me” Sleep Token (x)

I am yours to the end (Won't you fall for me?)

“Fall for Me” Sleep Token (x)

I don't wanna look at anything else (Now that I saw you)

“Daylight” Taylor Swift (x)

I don't wanna think of anything else (Now that I thought of you)

“Daylight” Taylor Swift (x)

Now that I saw you (I can never look away)

“Daylight” Taylor Swift (x)

I know l'm not the perfect lover (I can tell you love her)

“Lover” Plot Twist ft. Rose & Kennedy (x)

There's a space inside my mind (Where I keep on missing you)

“Missing You” The Vamps (x)

[icology]

I think it’s pretty well established in many Team ICO fan circles, and there’s even a great post about it here on Tumblr by @frabjousvonniche, but for those unaware, the NTSC-U copy of ICO for the PS2 is a little undercooked. It was released in September of 2001 as the result of a shipping deadline that Ueda’s team couldn’t afford to miss. But frankly, ICO was not finished by that time and would not be sold to the Japanese market until December of that year.

For this reason, one can consider the NTSC-U copy to be a beta version of the title. But what it lacks in polish, it makes up for by providing insights. Rare is the opportunity for fans to have easy access to a completed game at different phases of development. And seeing the differences between these versions can show a lot about both the design process and what order the game may have been coded in.

But the strangest and smallest detail of differences, which really freaks me out on some level, becomes apparent when Yorda is taken into the void by Shadows. In the final game, Shadow Creatures are eliminated all at once by the same magic wave that turns you to stone and initiates the Game Over. This is already a little unsettling as a form of their dismissal, but they disappear like smoke, like you would expect of them.

This is not quite the case in the US version. When Shadows are eliminated by this magic wave, their disappearance is marked by a sudden, blurry red particle effect.

And this only occurs in this one specific scenario. No other means of defeating the Shadows can reproduce this.

I have a clip from ICO Speedrunner, Sanchopanda, to help demonstrate. It probably won’t work in the Tumblr ask format, but having the link should be enough. It occurs around 22 seconds in:

I’m all for interpreting this red particle effect in whatever way you want, but I can’t really shake from my mind the potential that it’s blood. And even further, I can’t shake questions of why that would only appear in this instance, and for what reason.

Maybe the confusion of the matter is the very reason this didn’t make it to the final release but it was clearly intentional and meant to signify something that at least one dev had in mind.

It’s intriguing, to say the least.

Tumblr ate your link but I went for a dive and I think this might be the clip you're talking about! The little red particles are visible and they do look like blood! Funny that when you defeat the armored soldiers in The Last Guardian, you can also observe a similar thing if you knock them down and rip off their helmets (which we can observe in this clip, for example). For both types of enemies, the sight of it is a bit bizarre, because they're supposed to be almost intangible little creatures, but that makes it feel like you actually hurt them.

It feels strange, almost like when you defeat the shadow kids that were sacrificed before Ico. I wonder if every shadow in the games is sentient or if there's some sort of robot/zombie like quality for the enemies where they just follow orders and don't feel any real pain.

Speaking of things that ended up being undercooked on the NTSC-U version due to the deadline... we also have the infamous Ico North American cover art. The one we all know and love was hand painted by Ueda himself, based on a Giorgio de Chirico piece titled "The Nostalgia of the Infinite". Much like the game, it wasn't ready when it came out in the US, so they were stuck with this eye sore that's odd enough to make you question whether you just picked up a bootleg copy. Who the heck is that kid?

The team actually talked about this in the bonus interview for the Ico/SOTC PS3 remaster and it made for a pretty funny moment which you can watch here.

(also... the Megaman cover they talk about is WAY worse. At least Ico's doesn't look like nightmare fuel and wow, how did I end up rambling this much? I'm gonna shut up now hahaha)

[arecomicsevengood]

TRIP REPORT: SPX 2023

I went down to the Small Press Expo in Bethesda, Maryland this past Sunday. While I lived in Baltimore for a number of years, and it was essentially a local show, this is the first time I've been since moving to Philly in 2019. It took a year (or two?) off on account of COVID. I don't have much to say about the show itself, I enjoyed walking around talking to people, I probably didn't see all the stuff I would've liked, I'm not really in a good place to judge trends. I missed some people I would've liked to have met, like Drew Lerman, who left before I got there. He won an Ignatz though, and good for him. I do believe that the thing about SPX and the Ignatzes is that everyone essentially occupies very different spheres of interest and sets of influences. As I walked around, seeing little cards on people's comics saying they were nominated for an Ignatz, I would ask them if they had heard of or were familiar with the thing that won, they almost never were.

At the one panel discussion I attended, about drawing detailed backgrounds as a way of of establishing worldbuilding, Rosemary Valero-O'Connell cited Taiyo Matsumoto's approach as an influence, and as I sat in the audience thinking "Yes! Let's talk more about that!" everyone else on stage, quite reasonably, talked about their own influences instead - which for Daria Tessler, who I came to see, included Mark Beyer and Jim Woodring. The panel was generally good and interesting, and it's not meant as a slight to the moderator Rob Clough to point out that the best questions came during the Q+A from the audience. One member asked the question, how do you handle tonal shifts when you are using detailed visuals for plot purposes, and everyone agreed that that at emotional climaxes or at moments of more interiority they reduce the level of background detail.

Daria Tessler was the artist I was most excited to meet of anyone at the fest. Since my local shop, Partners And Son, is on top of it, I had already read her newest comic, volume 2 of Cagelessness, which absolutely rules, and so I had to shell out the big bucks for a copy of her fully-silkscreened book Dust, that uses multi-color collages as a backdrop for the cowboy characters who, in Cagelessness, move through ornately designed drawn worlds. Her work is beautiful, another high point of the panel discussion was her talking about how Marc Bell calls the tiny details cluttering up the backgrounds of his comics "chicken fat," and while Clough cited the term as originating from Will Elder, Tessler described chicken fat as "what you put in the soup to make it taste better, if you're not vegan," perfectly capturing what makes these artists work such a delicious meal for the eyes.

A similar "I already have all of these" experience was behind my purchase of Tales Of Old Snake Creek, by Drew Lerman, which collects his anthology contributions from recent years and adds watercolor to them. I love these comics in their original formats but I'm not going to say no to the convenience of this, which is also printed at a size larger than the digests in which some things ran.

Shout-out to Bread Tarleton, who pointed out to me the Paradise Systems table, where everything looked good and lavish, but what I picked up was Cry by Yan Cong. I believe Paradise Systems to be a reprinter of self-published comics from China. Cry features cartoony figures in a charcoal textured world, and follows a man having a sexual experience with a prostitute with a weird visual punchline.

Adam Szym directed me to the Strangers Fanzine table, where I picked up Shony Glassware 2 by Manning Coe, which is in some ways probably the sort of zine a lot of people go to SPX to get. Pretty funny stuff, maybe Ben Jones influenced, by a 26-year-old who lives in Osaka. Drawing himself in a Beat Happening shirt but with a bio where he talks about listening to 100 Gecs, there is a definite vibe at work here and while I don't remember the price point of this one I feel like it had to be cheap because it's that kind of comic. If you're ordering the new printing of Bhanu Pratap's Dear Mother from Strangers and want something else that's not too genre-y make sure you throw this in there.

Adam Szym's Their Use Continues is a horror short about the current trend towards reviving dead actors as CGI phantoms in movies currently in the news. Feels nice and relevant, I think I would've liked this to be a little bit bigger (it's printed digest size) and hi-res. Adam uses some digital collage elements for backgrounds and borders that I mostly felt was making the book smaller and fuzzier still.

I nonetheless liked it better than another horror comic I picked up, issue 1 ofJenna Cha and Lonnie Nadler's The Sickness, published by Uncivilized. Both people are more mainstream-comics, which I think is fine, but this does something I really associate with the dumbest kind of attitude that can be present in horror stuff, the kind of tonal miscalculation the comics I like avoid: Presenting a mid-century American setting where characters nonetheless are using a high degree of vulgar language, of a sort that would be stylized and off-putting if it were depicting the modern era but really just completely pulls me out of something set in the past. The second printing changes the color palette on the cover in a way that makes the drawing better, but this is not the sort of thing I would recommend anyone track down, which is sad, because it's likely far more readily available than anything I liked.

Tim Lane's Happy Hour In America 1, from a few years ago, was available at the Fantagraphics table. Presumably because Tim was signing, but I never saw him. I haven't read the big books collecting his short stories, but I like his contributions to anthologies. He's a guy who can really draw, in a way that you don't often see at small press shows, or that feels more appreciated by a mainstream-comics crowd. If his stories aren't as psychotically involved on a plot level as Mack White, he's nonetheless interesting as like a Gen X'er talking about American masculinity and what animates it. I would gladly read it in single issue comics format, though I missed these the first time because it wasn't what I felt I was in the mood for.

Another thing I picked up as a half-off copy of David B's Incidents In The Night, volume 2, from Uncivilized. I think volume 1 did pretty well, and is now sold out, but now that that's unavailable, volume 2 is a harder sell. David B is one of those dudes, like Joann Sfar or Christophe Blain, that got the big bookstore push like fifteen years ago but now no one wants to put out their books in the U.S. David B is also a guy, like GIpi, who had a comic put out by the Ignatz line Fantagraphics had. I bought issue 1 of Babel at the time and didn't care for it, and would've told you I didn't iike David B's work. But lately I've been tracking down books in the Ignatz line I skipped the first time (along with the First Second books of Gipi and Sfar from roughly the same time) and enjoying them, and this fits into that trend as well. A pretty involving plot, involving booksellers, the occult, criminal organizations. I both want to track down a copy of volume 1 and am frustrated that the volume 3 advertised at the end of this book was never translated into English.

Yasmeen Abediford's Death Bloom won an Ignatz, for best minicomic. All of the Ignatz awards are really ill-defined categories, and this is one is a $25 risograph thing, which to me seems like it should exist in a different category than cheapo xerox stuff, but whatever. Anyway, I believe Abediford will also be in the new issue of Freak, which I have seen Instagram posts indicating contributors got an advance copy of but have yet to be for sale online. Abediford is from the Bay Area, but this book was printed by Lucky Pocket Press, based in Baltimore, but from people who either moved there or didn't have the press going until after I left there. They sold me the comic in a little printed bag, which included a family tree for their little mascot guy, citing the "onion peow guy" as "(father, deceased)" and "(comics legend)," which is interesting to me insofar as I don't think of any of the Peow stuff as being interesting to me, though I'm happy it found its audience and made a mark. I don't really get this one either but whatever, I'll reread it tos ee if my opinion changes.

I would also put the output of publisher Silver Sprocket in a similar category to Peow - Not for me, seems like it's for younger people, in a way that dominates SPX as it's currently constituted. I have the deepest sympathies for them not being able to dominate SPX this year though, due to a misplaced/inaccessible pallet of books that they didn't get until halfway through Sunday. They had flown out Leo Fox from England, to debut his new book Prokaryote Season. I had seen Fox's stuff on Twitter last year and thought it looked good/interesting, but was also frustrated by the fact that he had apparently released a comic that was only for sale for 24 hours - maybe a way to create demand so that people actually order a thing, but in an artificial scarcity kind of way I resent. Anyway, I bought one of his self-published things, My Body Unspooling, and yeah I think it looks really cool and interesting, though the approach taken, a sort of simple narrative about the notion of the self rather than something that seems interested in having characters interact is again the kind of trend I blanch at in work made by people younger than me. I nonetheless liked the comic, and thought it was cool, and am going to read his book soon.

I bought issue 9 of Mike Centeno's Futile from the Radiator Comics distro booth. It is explicitly labeled as No Previous Readin' Necessary, so while there were two older issues of Futile at the table, printed at smaller dimensions, I didn't pick them up. This was cool, a mostly black and white (but with pages in the middle in color) comic about a musician taking mushrooms . It looks great on a flipthrough, though Audra Stang, working the table, tried to close the center-spread of my flipthrough so that the burst into full-color I was admiring didn't spoil the story's progression and surprises. Format and cartooning kinda reminded me of Nate Doyle's series Crooked Teeth. (Nate had a larger-formatted barbarian fantasy comic available from Strangers Fanzine, which I passed on.)

I also bought Beth Heinly's Girls Named Meghan from her, though Heinly is Philly-based and I've had plenty of chances to pick it up before. It's a memoir of her teenage years, growing up in Delaware County, which is where I went to high school, and the friendships she had that veered into rebellion and her apprehensions about being around people more "troubled" than she was. It is basically black and white but there's little red-pencil edits throughout, like maybe the wrong PDF was sent to the printer or something, sourced from a file where she was noting what she wanted to fix. I don't think of the other copies I have seen were like this though. Again, I think this is the sort of self-published autobio thing that many people go to SPX to find. I can see the places there this could be stronger or more impactful but there is still a fine sense for who all the characters were, and what the era was like.

I got a few other things but this is all I have read so far, at this moment when I felt like writing. Andrew White gave me a copy of the new Yearly, and a name I recognized from his writing for The Comics Journal, Henry Chamberlain, gave me a copy of his book George's Run, a biography of a Twilight Zone writer published by Rutgers University Press. I also got issue 3 of a comic called Cat Scratch Fever by a woman named Emily Zullo, and Soumya Dhulekar's Flash Valley. Both of these are in the classic digest sized minicomic format with black and white throughout, though Dhulekar opted for a a cardstock cover. This is the sort of thing I am most happy to buy from a stranger at a show and basically not even care about the quality as long as the price is right, though of course the price for both of these is higher than it used to be. I also bought and haven't yet read Leo Fox's Prokaryote Season, the theoretical "book of the show," although another contender for that title, the collection of Liam Cobb comics, What Awaits Them, looked great but I will pick it up when it comes into my local shop.

[ipsen]

Two Meals, Three Years Late

Some good old-fashioned prequel business for Holometabolism. It’s been on my mind for quite some time, and this is the product of that. I also wanted to dive a bit into how my version of Kaneki came to be since, honestly, he’s wildly out of character there.

If you haven’t read Holometabolism, don’t worry! The only thing I really changed that you need to know for this oneshot is that Kaneki and Eto dated during that two-ish week period between Kanou’s lab and the Owl Suppression Operation and unfortunately fell in love. “Exes to Lovers” is a trope I wanted to explore with them.

Cross-posted on AO3, if you want more varied formatting.

Enjoy!

July 20th.

Two and a half months since the Tsukiyama Extermination Operation. Two and a half months since Haise died. Two and a half months since Kaneki dedicated himself to his new path. His true path. His only path, ever since he was born into a world that refused to let him know happiness.

He would be selfish. He would die.

And he would be loved.

But first, he had to deal with the thing sitting across from him.

A grotesque creature in the shape of a woman stirred the straw in her iced coffee, humming a nonsensical tune just to irritate him. She was dressed in a burgundy turtleneck sweater, a long cream skirt, black tights, and navy flats. Her fern colored hair, normally untamed in a wild sort of wolf cut, was tied back into a bun at the base of her neck, but as he looked closer, it was more like the beginning of a bun, and the creature had given up halfway and left it unfinished.

He stared at her as she sampled her iced coffee, his gloved hands curled into fists on the table. The worst part about this, even worse than the factors dragging him through the parlor doors and into his seat, was that she was early for the first time.

July 20th, in this parlor, and at this time.

The traitor. The liar. The king.

Reminiscence. Resignation. Regret.

“I didn’t think you’d show up,” Takatsuki— Eto, now that he knew— commented, sarcastically or otherwise, pulling the thin stretch of silence between them and snapping it. Her fingers dangled over the takoyaki she had ordered, but she didn’t take any.

Kaneki merely scoffed. “It was on a whim. I didn’t do it for you, I—”

“You’re looking for me. I’m aware.” She smiled at him, but it was her fake one: an offensive caricature of the real thing, practiced to perfection. “You want something.”

That was true enough. It wasn’t anything she specifically knew that he was interested in— he had had enough of her despicable lies to last a lifetime— but rather what she was. She was the One-Eyed Owl, the founder of Aogiri, and his ticket into Cochlea. If he could get Furuta assigned to his investigation, Kaneki could put his last job in motion and put her in her place. See how she liked being strung along for once.

“I actually have a proposal I think you’ll like.” Eto leaned closer now, close enough that he could plainly see the ridges of her irises.

He glared into them, as if he could pierce them and pry them apart with only his mind. And he knew that she knew; she always did. He hated it.

“Now that we’re both ‘out in the open’, so to speak, let’s promise not to lie to each other any more, hm?”

That creepy sort of grin on her face, the kind that made you feel like you were being picked apart under a microscope, or the kind that was too rigid to be real, was gone. In its place was the smile he liked the least: the one that once made his stomach flip, because it made him believe he meant anything to her.

“And what makes you think I’ll agree?” he asked, and she took a moment to pop one of the takoyaki balls into her mouth with a toothpick.

“You’re as tired of our games as I am.” Her chewing was grating on his ears, not to mention the stench. “So I figured—”

“Swallow.”

She only laughed. “Focusing on the wrong things as always, dear. It’s a little frustrating sometimes.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, but you are frustrating.” She stabbed another takoyaki ball before she had even finished the first, and waved it in front of him. Nauseating. “For all your smarts, you know surprisingly little.”

He scoffed again. “I know everything I need.”

“No you don’t.” She sipped her drink. “You basically know nothing.”

“And you don’t?” As soon as he said it, he regretted it. Of course Eto knew more.

She glanced up, that scrutinizing smile back on her face. “What do you know about the investigation of the Non-Killing Owl?”

Kaneki’s eyes narrowed. She wanted something, that much was clear. Unfortunately, the only way to learn what that something was was to play her game. But what if it was a trap? He was an Assistant Special Investigator now, and he wasn’t ignorant to the whispers about the Black Reaper.

She might want something in return, like his knowledge of CCG affairs, then use it for Aogiri’s benefit. Not that he particularly cared, but any moves she made without his knowing could be problematic.

“I’m here to help you,” she claimed, reading his mind as if nothing had changed. As if saying it aloud would make it true. “Because I like you.”

“You don’t know the meaning of the word,” he spat.

She giggled and set her drink aside, lacing her fingers together. That was how he knew she was listening. “Isn’t it nice to tell the truth? To cut out the fat and get what you want? You’re in such a rush these days.”

He squinted at her, but she had a point. The sooner, the better. He had no way of knowing when Hinami was going to be disposed of; once the Tree was gone, she would be too.

Fine.

“An investigation determined that the Non-Killing Owl was hiding at Anteiku,” he answered her previous question.

Eto didn’t miss a beat. “After he appeared once, in the 11th ward, nine months prior?”

He paused to consider. Kuzen hadn’t made a single move in ten years, when he received his wound from Arima. And then, he suddenly infiltrated the 11th ward, where Aogiri was.

Where Kaneki was.

Then, the Owl Suppression Operation was—

“Kaneki.”

Eto’s voice, soft enough to kill, jolted him out of his thoughts. And the way she was looking at him— Concern? Disgust?— the image of the king in his head wasn’t supposed to look like that.

“Anteiku liked to keep its head down. Let the dice fall where they were.”

“They valued peace,” he countered, meeting her challenge.

“They valued complacency,” she fired back, the bite he was familiar with back in her tone. “Survival, if I’m being generous. There’s a difference.”

“It’s better than what Aogiri does.” Troublemakers, other ghouls had called them. Pot stirrers who achieved little more than inconveniencing the masses. Meaningless.

Eto arched her brow, and he saw disappointment flash across her face. Good. “Answer me this, then: is gagging on poison every day ‘peace’? Is experiencing unending nausea, just for the sake of not being seen, ‘peace’?” She pushed her plate of takoyaki aside. “If you ask me, it just seems unfair. Cowardly, even. Take your barista friend, for example— the Kirishima girl. She ate human food, right?”

How did she—

“Ayato let it slip once.” For once, she revealed her source. “And how did that work for her? She became weak; you and I both know she wouldn’t have survived the Operation.”

Kaneki glared, but said nothing. Eto couldn’t possibly understand Touka, not when she could freely partake in human food as a natural hybrid. She couldn’t possibly know the drive required to gag down human food for the sake of experiencing a microcosm of a normal life as a ghoul.

“You know better than anyone that to protect someone, you need strength. Who was she protecting by forcing trash through her system? By making such dramatic concessions at the cost of her wellbeing?” She ate the last takoyaki ball and swallowed. “Who really wins in the end?”

She waited for a response, but only got silence in return. Because Kaneki knew she was right. It wasn’t fair for Touka— or any ghoul, really— to have to hide their true selves from everyone else. It wasn’t fair to have to be hurt in order to live and die, to simulate living a cushy, privileged life like a human.

Eto tilted her head, studying him for one reason or another. “Hey, are you free tonight?”

Lost in his own thoughts, Kaneki slipped and made a mistake. “What do you want?”

“There’s something I want to show you.” It was that terrible smile again.

It was fine; accompanying her was a part of being able to predict what she would do next. “What is it?”

That was all.

“Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise, would I?” She chuckled and stood up. “If you’re coming, then I’ll see you at the Children’s Forest. It’s rather empty at night.”

She was talking about the one in the 20th ward. The Nerima Children’s Forest. It was an intentional callback to that night. She had helped him, in hindsight; there weren’t a lot of Doves standing in his way as he fought his way toward Anteiku.

And the look she had given him that night. Restraint. Desire. A thousand words unsaid. It was like looking in a mirror, thinking back on it.

“Bring your mask,” Eto said, turning toward the door. “And a change of clothes.”

Kaneki furrowed his brow, but he filed the information away anyway. He watched her leave, and when she passed the window by their booth, she glanced at him through the glass and smirked.

It was only then that he realized she hadn’t paid for her food.

—

Kaneki found her beneath a tree, on a swing made of her kagune, with her legs dangling just above the ground in her bandaged attire. She’d acquired a new burgundy cloak to use, after she’d left him her old one atop the Lunatic Eclipse.

“You actually showed up,” was the first thing she said, and he couldn’t read her expression behind her mask. “Interesting choice of attire.”

He didn’t have much in the way of clothing— it seemed so meaningless, given his plans— but he did manage to throw together dark gray shorts, a pair of old sneakers Haise got for his birthday, and a black sweater with the cuffs cut off. And, of course, Uta’s mask.

“Here.” Eto tossed a cloak at him. “To blend in.”

Kaneki caught it and examined the fabric. “This is Aogiri’s,” he said.

She nodded. “Follow me.”

His eyes narrowed, but he did so. She was taking him to one of the bases, he figured that much. But for what reason? What did she have to gain from showing him, an investigator, something like that? Was this an ambush? Was she going to try to kill him here?

… No. No, she wouldn’t. If she did, she’d have done so at the top of that building. She let him win. There was no situation in which he took down the One-Eyed Owl by himself, especially when on Haise’s favorite RC suppressants.

What was her goal?

She led him out of the forest and into the abandoned part of the city, then scaled a building with practiced ease. He followed, using his kagune to follow.

“You’re so messy,” she commented when he reached the top, glancing at the broken cement left in his wake.

“You’re one to talk,” he muttered back, remembering how she wrote directly on her books for annotations and folded their pages for bookmarks. ‘Personalization’, she called it.

Eto giggled, and continued onward, with Kaneki not far behind.

As they leapt from building to building, he noticed something. They kept passing Aogiri bases the CCG had already cleaned out. The CCG was really efficient when it wanted to be, he thought, as he watched Eto slow down.

She stopped in front of a rusted iron door situated atop the cracked foundation of its building.

“We’re here,” she announced. “Play nice, okay?”

She took his silence as agreement, and led him inside. There, he saw— ghouls. Aogiri ghouls, with their masks off. But not the foot soldiers he was used to seeing. These were families. Parents and children. Civilians.

Eto led him through the hallways of this old place, the only source of light being flickering troffers in need of a bulb change. Few of them looked up, but the ones that did occasionally recognized him.

“Eyepatch…”

“Is that…?”

“The Eyepatch ghoul?”

Kaneki tried to keep to himself and ignore the whispers, following Eto without a word. But every turn they made, there were more whispers, more civilians, more ghouls with gaunt faces that couldn’t stand up to a single Rank 3 investigator. In other words, weak. In other words, helpless.

Eto stopped in front of a certain ghoul, one in front of a small stack of coolers, presumably filled with food. “Hey,” she said.

They turned and saw her. “M-Ms. Eto? What’re you doing here?”

“I heard there were some liars hiding here.”

They hung their head. “Y-Yes… Some of the guards got fed up with the situation and have started killing civilians here. We’ve managed to track their location, but the Doves might already be aware of them…”

Kaneki grimaced against the leather of his mask. Ghouls who killed indiscriminately were the scum of the earth. But ‘started’? Did Aogiri have a policy against hunting human civilians?

Eto tapped her chin, thinking for a moment. “Tatara’s already made preparations for refugees on the main base. Make sure everyone’s packed in case the Doves do come. Leave behind anyone who fights them.”

“And the traitors?” the ghoul asked.

“Me and him will take care of them.” She turned her head toward Kaneki, and he knew she was smiling. “They can’t be allowed to roam free.”

He met her gaze for a brief moment before nodding at the ghoul.

They warily nodded back. “Alright, I’ll let the others know. But… just you two?”

“He’s actually quite strong.” As if to make her point, she rapped her knuckles on his arm. Kaneki was grateful his mask was covering his face. “Nice and solid.”

The ghoul swallowed, but gave the location of the traitors, then went to spread the news. Eto sighed once they were out of earshot.

“Shall we?”

—

The traitors were small fry compared to the likes of them. Eto and Kaneki made short work of them, hardly a scratch to regenerate by the end of it. The pair of them now sat atop the building, a fresh pile of corpses between them to sample.

“It’s too bad there were no Doves,” Eto said, ripping an arm off a corpse in one clean motion. “Could’ve been useful to feed the others.”

“I thought you said we shouldn’t lie to each other,” Kaneki replied, tearing open one of the backs and exposing its withering kakuhou. “You don’t actually care about them, do you?”

She chuckled. “It’s true I don’t particularly care for idiots, but they’re a part of my organization. It’s my responsibility to look out for them, especially when they can’t do it themselves. Whether or not I like it is irrelevant.”

She reached up with her other hand to pull off the bandages wrapped around her face. As she did, her hair fell over her shoulders in large clumps to frame her face.

He stared a bit longer than he should before chowing down. Though he was now used to the rotten taste of the meat, it still took some amount of willpower not to gag on reflex.

“Does Aogiri only sustain itself on investigators?” he asked, wiping blood from his mouth.

“We do our best,” she answered, rolling a finger between her teeth. “You already know most of our recruits are outed ghouls. It’s a good method of policing their eating habits. There are, of course, hiccups in the system, but it typically keeps the members focused on our actual targets.”

He hummed, then asked the question weighing on his mind for years now. “Was Yamori a ‘hiccup’, then?”

She paused and swallowed. “Oh, right. I forgot about him.”

He waited for her to continue, watching how she raised her thumb to her lips and sucked on the blood there. She was attractive like that, in a twisted sort of way, and he hated himself for thinking it.

“He was disobedient, and a coward,” she stated. “He got too comfortable within the confines of his own little world, and he died for it. He was a weakling who thought breaking his toys made him strong.”

It was the answer Kaneki was afraid of most.

“… I see,” was all he said.

The rest of the meal was spent in silence, besides the sounds of chewing, swallowing, and the screams of his own thoughts. When they were done, Eto took him back to the Aogiri hideout and reported a successful eradication to the one watching over it.

Then, like how lightning flashes for only a moment, she was gone, and Kaneki was left alone.

There was a full moon tonight, isolated due to the light pollution of the city. Kaneki stared up at it from an opening in the building. Offhandedly, he wondered how the moon would look with stars accompanying it, and if it would be beautiful. But to wonder about what could not be was meaningless.

He remembered certain words, heard so long ago now, from someone who was likely dead.

(“This world is wrong, and it’s you monsters that are distorting it!”)

That wasn’t right. He knew that much. Ghoul, human— both descriptors were useless when addressing the term ‘monster’. Monsters were not born: they were created. And environments created more than any womb.

(“If the world is wrong, then it’s because it’s being distorted by everything inside it.”)

That wasn’t right either. These kids, these families… Were they distorting the world? If they were, it was because they wanted to keep on living. Then, was the desire to live the same as the desire to sin? Life was a series of taking and being taken from, in unpredictable amounts— he was intimately familiar with the concept— but was that inherently wrong?

He glanced about the hideout, knowing that Eto was somewhere watching him, even if he couldn’t see her.

She was Sen Takatsuki. She wrote with vagueness, hidden strength, and unbridled rage for the only world she would ever exist in. Whenever her work was discussed, there were always multiple conflicting interpretations, like branches of a tree infinitely extending and splitting and extending again. She encouraged the spread of knowledge and thought, no matter how strange it was, so long as it was free.

Kaneki observed one of the families— two children and their father— sharing meat. It wasn’t even a full human body; at best, it was about as much as an arm or a leg. He watched the father, a gaunt and skinny man, split the meat in half and give it to both the children. And yet he was smiling.

A world for ghouls… A world where they didn’t have to suffer unending nausea just to blend in, just to turn eyes away from them. A world where the thin tightrope so many of them walked was instead a comfortable floor to roam about. A world where there was peace. Where there was freedom.

That was Aogiri’s goal.

That was Eto’s goal.

(…)

He shook his head. It was pointless to think about it now, to regret the choices he had made to finally reach this conclusion. He had already made his decision; he couldn’t afford to get distracted by petty things beyond his control.

Yet, after he left the hideout, when he felt her eyes on his back, he paused. How was she looking at him, he wondered.

He tried to imagine her. Her small form that barely came up to his shoulders. Her pale face, which, once, was ghosted by a shade of pink the one time he dared to pick something off her cheek. Her verdant eyes, sparkling mysteriously whenever they pointed in his direction. And her hair, so shockingly soft and voluminous, much like the pages she filled with words.

And the more he imagined her, the more difficult it became to think that such a person— the one person as scorned by the world as him, the one person who really looked at him— could ever not value life. Not value purpose. Not value peace, no matter how bloody the road to it became.

Because deep down, Kaneki wished for peace as well.

And it made him shudder.

— End

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