#I love how squishy I am actually I’m just trying to eat more vegetables!!

[talesfromthebandgeekmafia]

YouTube please I’m just trying to get more into cooking & have more substantive nutrition in my mornings than a granola bar & my ADHD meds stop trying to give me an eating disorder

[merryfortune]

Flower Power

Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Ship: Huntara/Perfuma

Word Count:  3,272

Tags: Post Canon, Slight Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Pansexual Perfuma

   Something strange was beginning to happen around Huntara.

   Flowers were beginning to bloom where she stood and lingered too long, she could swear that if she thoughtlessly used her hands to talk, the plants around her would bob and move with the way she moved.

   But, surely not right?

   Magic was not her forte at all but she supposed that if stars could return to the night sky, along side the moons and clouds, then maybe it was possible that she was, quite literally, a late bloomer when it came to magic. It helped that this new found affinity she had with plants seemed to coincide with when her dominion, the Crimson Waste transformed from a hinterland to a beautiful and burgeoning metropolis. And yes, that was correct, it was still her dominion even though the peoples of it, scarred and roguish, were beginning to reconnect with the outside society they had shunned and they had crowned Huntara their regent.

   She was their leader, not their queen and certainly not their princess. She was Huntara of the Crimson Waste - and yes, it was still called the Crimson Waste even though it was no longer how it had been for a millenia. Scorched red sand and a hopeless place. All sandy valleys of death and the lost with a harsh sun and foreboding conditions which made it impossible to thrive. Now that magic, all magic, had returned to Etheria from its core, the Crimson Waste had been renewed as an ecosystem. There were oases, real and genuine, in the sands which now teemed with all sorts of insectoid life and the like.

   Plants, too, apparently. Not just cacti but there were a few other, desert hardy things which had begun to spring up and bloom in the Crimson Waste and these strange things, with huge mottled petals, had a definite preference for popping up wherever Huntara was and she was in a lot of places. As leader, her people - her subjects, if she could be so bold and it felt awful, for once, to be that bold - had a lot of need and want for her opinions and she was a woman of the people. She wanted to be there. On the ground, helping. A strange difference from fighting but it felt good to do good.

   But she couldn’t ignore herself. She needed a little bit of help as well. And she knew exactly who to ask to get it. 

   Perfuma had received her with open arms - and then closed ones. She was a hugger after all. Huntara stiffened at the reception of such affection but she didn’t revile it. That would be rude and she was a leader now. Huntara had to be this new thing called “polite” and Perfuma made it easy. She was such a goody two shoes sweetie after all and despite it all, Huntara was a softie so she indulged but patting the top of Perfuma’s head as her skinny little arms tried their darned best to squeeze the life out of Huntara. 

   When she finally let go, Perfuma had to take a very deep breath. Only for her arms to fling back again and she beamed, so big and wide and proud. 

   “Welcome to Plumeria, Huntara, Princess of the Crimson Waste!” Perfuma bellowed so cheerfully.

   “Hold on, hold on, I ain’t no princess, princess.” Huntara scowled as she corrected Perfuma.

   Perfuma looked up at her, all innocently confounded. “Oh, my apologies,” she said, her hands shrinking in on herself, her dress crinkling, “I had received word that the Crimson Waste had made you their leader and since your efforts have been to reconnect the Crimson Waste to the rest of Etheria, I assumed that a new kingdom had been… reborn.”

   “Your right on those counts, I can’t blame you fer gettin’ your wires crossed… but I ain’t no princess.” Huntara said only to turn uncharacteristically ginger. “But I guess that’s why I’m here. Strange things are happenin’ and I figured you might know a thing or two. You’re the one with the green thumb. Not me, mine’re, uh, purple.”

   Perfuma giggled but she nodded. “Here, allow me to show you to my inner sanctum, we can talk there in private.”

   “Much obliged, flower girl.” Huntara smiled weakly.

   Plumeria was a very beautiful place. That was an objective fact. It was verdant and lush, easygoing and relaxed. 

   Huntara found it weirdly fitting that she would come here again. She had been part of an invasion which had hassled Plumeria a long, long time ago, when she was in the Horde. Returning from that outpost in Plumeria had been the catalyst that Huntara needed to desert the Horde. Seeing its wealth and bounty had made her yearn for more than what she got at the Horde. She didn’t deserve to eat grey ration bars when there were real fruits and vegetables out there. She didn’t deserve to only know hatred and misery if there was genuine love out there; of course, she came to convince herself that a coward like her, on the run from the biggest and most terrifying force in Etheria would never be truly deserving of such things so she ended up in the Crimson Waste. 

   But now, she was back and that felt oddly right.

   Perfuma had them settled down by the shade of some overhanging linen strewn about in the trees and on pillows with a small, wooden table by their side. A servant appeared and offered them tea and other light refreshments, some of which were tiny in size. Perfuma pecked at a few and then drank from her cup of tea.

   “Rose petal,” she said, a fanciful sigh escaping her lips, “my absolute favourite blend, it’s divine.”

   Huntara awkwardly accepted. The social customs outside the Crimson Waste were egregious to her but to be courteous, she drank some. It was hot, but not too hot for her mouth, and okay. Not her favourite.

   “So, what does bring you to Plumeria? You mentioned that you wanted my counsel for an important matter but were evasive over the communications… I’ve been shivering in anticipation for your arrival.” Perfuma rambled.

   “I feel like I’m going crazy but… but I think I have magic now, the same as yours.” Huntara stiltedly replied.

   Her eyes were far off into the distance, she sat, cross legged, and away from Perfuma. Anything to avoid her gaze. It was too intense and not in the way that Huntara could usually bear the brunt of because Perfuma’s intensity was very, very sparkly for lack of a better word and right now, she was incredibly sparkly even by her measures.

   She gasped, eyes widening, “No… way!” she exclaimed.

   “I-I’m not certain. I just think its possible, when She-Ra rejuvenated Etheria with a thousand years’ worth of stored magic that I absorbed some of it since I am, er, the leader of the Crimson Waste and, for whatever reason, leaders on this planet generally tend to be, uh, gifted. So to speak. With magic.”

   Hunata stared at her hands. They were not the hands of someone who ought to excel at magic or even have the rare privilege of practising it in any way, shape, or form. All the sorcerers that Huntara had the pleasure of meeting had these tiny, soft hands which were dainty and squishy. Perfuma’s hands were a fantastic example of Huntara’s observation, for instance. The only exception she could think of to such delicacy was Scorpia, but her heart and mind were plenty soft and squishy to make up for the fact that she had pincers.

   “O-M-G!” Perfuma squealed. “We could be flower power buddies! Doesn’t that sound awesome?”

   Huntara growled. “I told you.” she all but snapped. “I don’t know for certain. Maybe I’m just seeing things.” She huffed through her nose, a hot exhale. “It could be coincidence or whatever.”

   “I think we should at least try.” Perfuma gushed. “I believe in you.”

   Huntara stiffened. Perfuma’s words were so saccharine but so sincere as well. She huffed again, more defeated this time. 

   “Yes,” she supposed, “I guess we could try.”

   That word had become the bane of an entire inter-galactic empire. Maybe it could become the boon between a princess with confirmed flower powers and a totally not princess with unconfirmed flower powers. 

   “Here, let me come closer to help.” Perfuma said and she rocketed to her feet.

   She pranced about only to plop down next to Huntara. They were knee to knee, nudging up against each other. Perfuma held onto her ankles and leaned back, her hair falling back behind her and she looked at the sky. Huntara wondered if she ought to do the same so, she did. She tilted her head back and through the foliage of the trees above, she saw scant traces of the big blue sky.

   “Huntara, dearest, I want you to think about your happy place.” Perfuma said. “We are going to do a spot of meditating. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

   “Uh, I guess. Told you, flower girl, not really my thing.” Huntara said, gruffly reminding her.

   “But plant based magic is my thing and I want you to unlock your inner Plumerian so we can get to the bottom of this whole thing you're experiencing. It's scary and exciting, don’t you think?”

   “Uh, yea-” Huntara interrupted herself with a cough. She was Huntara of the Crimson Waste. The strongest being in the Crimson Waste. She wasn’t wishy-washy or the like, she was of the toughest resolve. Or so she would damn well remind herself. “Yes. It is.” She was still staring at what could be glimpsed of the sky through the dense forest. They both were.

   “I was taken to the Heart-Blossom all the time as a baby, by my parents, so I could receive its blessing but the earliest I actually remember being taken to the Heart-Blossom was the day I activated my connection with it and I used my powers, my magic, for the first time.” There was a nostalgic sound to Perfuma’s voice but it was tinged with something else. Something more bittersweet. “I was so excited but it was so scary. My mouth opened, my eyes glazed over - or so I’m told - and I just became an unstable conduit for the Runestone’s powers… I hurt a lot of people that day. Friends, family, both…”

   Huntara looked away from the sky and unthinkingly, she reached out. Her fingers grazed Perfuma’s upper arm in some scant attempt to comfort her. She looked down from the sky as well and met Huntara’s gaze. It was saturated with concern for her.

   “No one died that day but my parents still had some of the injuries I accidentally inflicted that day on them. My Mother and my Guardian… but they never blamed me. They helped me understand my powers and control them. I want to help you do the same since… since I think you're the same. You're scared by these new things but they are so, so rewarding when reined in correctly. That’s what makes it exciting. I have the utmost faith in you, Huntara, so believe in yourself. Let’s do it. We can do it.” Perfuma rambled. There were tears in her eyes.

   “Yeah, we can.” Huntara grunted.

   She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing. Perfuma guided them both through the meditation. Huntara tried to focus on Perfuma’s voice and Perfuma’s voice alone but it was so difficult. Incredibly difficult as Plumeria was so alive. The wind sang in the branches of the trees; birds flew and flapped about; people came and went merrily as they pleased. There was so much to listen to but Huntara endured even though something as simple as sitting down and clearing her mind was strangely difficult for her.

   But Perfuma was soon more than satisfied with how Huntara did, ending the guided meditation after a minute or two, Huntara didn’t count and she had to control herself not to, she spoke again: “How do you feel?” Her voice was light and airy.

   “Focused.” Huntara elected to reply. She could think of dozens of disparaging or self deprecating replies but at the very least, she owed Perfuma something constructive, even downright positive.

   “Excellent. Open your eyes.” Perfuma ordered her, her words beginning to tumble with her excitable nature. She wanted to confirm Huntara’s magic powers more than she did.

   Swallowing, Huntara obeyed. She opened her left eye and then the right, only to be immediately dazzled by how bright the sunlight here was. It was a gentle sunlight, though but she still had to squint ahead.

   “I think you can do it. No, I know you can do it. Try and use your powers, Huntara. Please.” Perfuma told her next. It felt inciting but not like an order. Strange.

   Huntara took a breath and she stared at the ground, drilling a hole between the plush blades of grass around her. 

   “You can do it. Visualise a flower. Any flower you like and make it grow.” Perfuma encouraged her. 

   Huntara growled as she tried to follow through on Perfuma’s encouragement of her but it was very difficult. Her muscles visibly strained, her cheeks flushed, as she put all her might and power into trying to make one, teeny-tiny flower. Her efforts in vain, elicited something like sympathy from Perfuma.

   She reached out to her and her fingers caressed Huntara’s thick forearms. Her touch was surprisingly cool. Or maybe Huntara burned too hot but either way, she was soothed by how Perfuma’s fingertips ghosted over her leathery skin and Huntara breathed a bit more easily. And when she stopped trying so hard, lulled by Perfuma’s quiet encouragement, it happened.

   Magic happened.

   Before their very eyes, a flower managed to raise itself up and out of the grass, nigh out of nowhere. It was feeble and quite battered looking but as its petals, pink with white trims and golden middles, unfurled, it had an air of grace and resilience. It seemed to respond to how Huntara held her hand out to it, as though it wanted to be pet by her hands.

   Huntara’s jaw slackened and when it popped back into place, it turned into a grin. Gawky and toothy but an ecstatic grin all the same. Beside her, Perfuma squealed with joy - a helluva lot more than what Huntara had. She hugged Huntara from side on, snuggling into her rock-hard side and beaming as well.

   “You did it.” Perfuma cheered.

   “Y-Yeah, I did. I’m not goin’ crazy. I’m magic.” Huntara sounded breathless.

   “Yes, you are. You are very magical, my beautiful desert rose.” Perfuma told her, her voice husky.

   “You are very bold, flower girl.” Huntara half-warned her, she caressed Perfuma’s narrow face and tilted it upwards towards. Her arms slackened but Perfuma was very handsy, they remained nestled on Huntara’s hulking legs now.

   Perfuma giggled. “I’m about to get much bolder.”

   “Oh?” Huntara was intrigued; her brow quirked.

   “In my eyes, you are Princess Huntara of the Crimson Waste and I propose that the Crimson Waste becomes a vassal territory of Plumeria. I believe we have a lot in common.” Perfuma said and she seemed all too cocky, fluttering her long, blonde eyelashes and Huntara couldn’t be mad. She wanted to be but she was charmed by the strength that Perfuma was exhibiting instead.

   “That is bold.” Huntara agreed.

   “So, what do you think?” Perfuma asked.

   “I think I would prefer to be Huntara, Strongest of the Crimson Waste, brilliant and dashing leader, partner state to Plumeria and that’s it.” Huntara bargained, voice dropping low and even flirtatious.

   Perfuma giggled, she reached up and toyed with the jagged fluff of the collar on Huntara’s jacket.

   “How about… partner to the Princess and acting Queen of Plumeria?” Perfuma asked.

   “That’s a bit more up my alley, flower girl.” Huntara said and she caressed Perfuma’s chin gently and leaned in.

   Completely oblivious to such a signal, Perfuma squealed: “Ooh, it’s so exciting! We’re going to be in cahoots! I’ve never been in cahoots with someone before- and oh my gosh, you are trying to kiss me now aren’t you?”

   Huntara laughed as she poked Perfuma’s cheek with her thumb, stroking it backwards.

   “Ayup.” she grunted.

   “Please do that, thank you.” Perfuma smiled.

   “Sounds good, flower girl.” Huntara said.

   She leaned in and their lips connected. Perfuma giggled through the kiss, it reverberated on Huntara’s lips and she didn’t dislike it at all, as annoying as it was, and in fact liked it quite a bit. Still, it was more a kiss of lip to teeth but Huntara didn’t mind much as she there was so much joy in how Perfuma reacted to being kissed. So, Huntara kept at it, more than happily. Perfuma’s mouth was sweet with the taste of tea and the other confections which she had been snacking on. It was nice. Best of all, she didn’t mind one bit that Huntara had such big teeth jutting out her mouth, it seemed she even relished how they nudged up against her face as Huntara kissed her.

   Perfuma sighed when Huntara, regrettably, pulled back. They both had to breathe, after all. Perfuma giggled an awkward and overjoyed giggle. It was painfully shrill on Huntara’s ears but luckily for Perfuma, Huntara was endeared to such a raucous noise for one reason or another.

   “To a long and prosperous union between Plumeria and the Crimson Waste.” Perfuma said.

   “Sure thing, short-stack.” Huntara replied, bearing a cocky smile of her own.

   Perfuma smiled back, eyes closed, lashes fluttering and when she opened them, they were brimming so happy. Her hand swept aside and she plucked the flower from the ground, the one which Huntara had managed to make rise up from nothingness. 

   “Ooh, a plumeria.” Perfuma gasped as she half-heartedly examined the flower, twirling it between her slender fingers.

   “Heh, yeah, whaddya know, it is.” Huntara replied, pretending that she was any good at identifying flowers outside of what was edible and what would poison you.

   “A good omen, I think. Most fortuitous.” Perfuma nodded sagely. “Hey, may I press this flower for you? I want you to keep it, a memento of the first time using your powers on purpose.”

   “I’d like that, kiddo.” Huntara said and she petted the top of Perfuma’s head. Her hair was so tightly bound back over the crown of it and fed into that big, fluffy ponytail of hers. It was nice.

   Perfuma laughed and playfully swatted Huntara’s large hand away from her. She got up, her petalled skirt shaking and shimmying about as she dusted herself down.

   “I’ll be right back,” Perfuma said, “and when I do come back, I’d like it a lot if you let me help you practice your magic some more.”

   “I’d like that a lot too, flower girl.” Huntara replied, something of a contented sigh escaping her mouth as she leaned back, one arm planted to the ground to prop her up.

   Perfuma squealed excitedly again and Huntara cringed but if Perfuma was happy, she was happy. Simple as that. Perfuma hurried off and Huntara very much decided she liked to see that girl go; that halter drop on her back was very nice. But what was nicer, was how she treated Huntara. Felt weirdly good to be worthy of commemorative knickknacks and kisses. She couldn’t help but look forward to future lessons, speaking strictly as a liaison from the Crimson Waste, not their princess, merely their leader and liaison, both romantic and official to the Princess and acting Queen of Plumeria, of course.

[costello-music-cr]

the bright lights are fading away, it’s not such a beautiful day

It was a disgustingly beautiful day. The sun was too bright, the birds were too loud, and Caleb was really regretting getting out of his bedroll that morning. He thought he would be fine, it should have passed long ago. But he was never that lucky.

Caleb falls ill while on the road and Beau, Jester, and Nott are the best bros.

Link to AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21080333

So I’ve fallen hard into the Critical Role Fandom. I just finished episode 34 as I’m posting this, so this is set in some nebulous time around then. I also won’t be doing the full whumptober, so this is my meager offering to that. 

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there was a faintly floral scent in the air. The Mighty Nein had nowhere pressing to be, and nothing pressing to do. It was all in all a lovely morning for every member of the group, except for Caleb.

He had been fine the night before, he had had no trouble setting up the hut for everyone and Caduceus was a far better cook than anyone else in the group, providing a surprisingly delicious dinner.  

The others were already up when Caleb sluggishly came to that morning. The first thing he noticed was that he was still incredibly tired despite the full nights rest and that his head hurt. It was clearly going to be one of those days so he thought nothing more of it as Nott prodded his side.

“Caleb, hey Caleb. Are you awake?” she said. Shifting a little Caleb groaned and responded.

“Ja, ja I’m awake,” he said as he turned to face her. His voice was a little rougher than normal, but he had just woken up so neither of them thought anything of it.  

“Great. Caddy has breakfast ready and once you’re done we’re good to go,” she said grinning down at him.

Sitting up he could see Beau and Jester sitting by Caduceus, who was prodding something on the small cook fire. The smell tomatoes and something else he couldn’t identify sizzling in the pan wafted over to him with the realisation that he wasn’t that hungry. Frowning slightly he started rolling up his bedroll and putting his things together, ignoring the gentle thudding in his head.

“Caaayleb! Good morning!” Jester called to him, her mouth full, as he put his pack in the cart.

“Guten Morgen,” he grunted back at her.

Jester giggled at him, holding up a plate to him as he join her by the fire.

“Here Cayleb we saved some breakfast for you. You slept really late,” she said pushing the plate at him.

The smell was almost overpowering as he took the plate from her. His stomach turned faintly and he realised he was really not hungry. His frown deepened as he poked at the bread and various vegetables that Caduceus had uncannily gathered the day before. They didn’t have anywhere pressing to be but there was still a good day’s travel before they made it to the next town. He’d travelled on an empty stomach enough times to not want to do it again so he nibbled at whatever seemed the least offensive to him, as the others finished packing up their nights campsite. While he slowly made his way through his breakfast Nott came back and sat next to him as Caduceus started putting out the fire. He could only make a small dent in it before he couldn’t eat anymore.

“Do you want this Nott? I am not so hungry this morning,” he offered. Nott’s hand twitched as her face fell slightly.

“Are you ok Caleb? You seem little off this morning,” she said, concern bleeding through her voice. Caleb gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Ja, I’m ok Nott. Just a bit of a headache but I’ll be fine,” he replied, pushing the plate at her.

“Are you sure. You didn’t eat much. If you’re not feeling well we don’t have to leave yet,” she said in a rush.

“Nein, we don’t have to do that. I’ll be ok. Don’t worry Nott. It’s not that bad. I’ll eat more later,” he hastily tried to reassure her. She looked slightly sceptical but accepted it by wolfing down what remained of Caleb’s meal.

“I’m sorry Mr Caleb. I just put out the fire. But if you want I can relight it and make you some tea that will help,” Caduceus interjected quietly. Caleb flushed, regretting that he even opened his mouth in the first place.

“That’s really not necessary, I’m fine. It’s not that bad really. I’ll be fine in an hour or so,” Caleb replied, preparing to make a hasty retreat from this conversation. Caduceus didn’t say anything else as he eyed the wizard up and down, noting the slightly too pale skin and slight rasp in his voice.

“Alright then,” he replied.

xxx

It was a disgustingly beautiful day.  The sun was too bright, the birds were too loud, and Caleb was really regretting getting out of his bedroll that morning. What had started as a bit of a headache and faint nausea was morphing as the day dragged on into a blinding headache, a dry sore throat, and a faint general achiness. The sun was bright but it wasn’t warm, the wind was cold, and no matter what he did Caleb could not get warm. Which was a direct contrast to his head which felt like it was on fire. He had never been more grateful for the cart. He didn’t even want to imagine how miserable having to walk, or even ride, would be.

Nott was sitting in the front of the cart with Caduceus while Jester and Fjord were riding the horses. That only left Beau in the cart with him. He was doing his best to ignore both her and his headache by attempting to read, with only the occasional jolt of the cart distracting him. The morning was dragging by agonisingly slowly. Despite his best hopes his headache had not abated at all and focusing on his books was getting hard. The dry ache in his throat was periodically irritating him.

“What’s up with you?” Beau broke the silence after a few hours of travelling. He looked up to find her staring at him intently.

“Nothing. I’m fine. Why,” his answered her, his voice was rougher then he wanted it to be. Beau lifted an eyebrow at that.

“Ok,” she replied. “Do you want some water or something? You clearing your throat is starting to get real annoying.”

“Ah,” he replied. He couldn’t deny that one. “I’m good. I have a water skin here thanks Beau.”

“Well maybe you should drink it or something,” she replied.    

He grunted in response before pointedly taking a drink and returning to silence.  He returned to his reading for a few more minutes before giving up on being productive. Putting his book away with a small shiver he snapped his fingers and called Frumpkin to him. Frumpkin mewled at him as he jumped up onto his lap, kneading at him before curling up. Focusing on patting Frumpkin he briefly allowed himself to feel terrible. His head was pounding, the thought of talking was unbearable, he was shaking slightly and he was weirdly cold.

He probably had a fever. Nothing too bad he thought, but it was the easiest explanation for the brand of bad he felt. It was enough to make him feel terrible, but not enough for him to ask either of his friends for healing. It wasn’t bad enough to ask them to use up a spell slot they might desperately need later on. Not on him. Not for this.

The cart seemed to be jolting more than usual now, sending pulses of pain through his head.

“You know, you can just take a nap or something,” Beau spoke up again, after restraining herself for an impressive five minutes and 25 seconds. Caleb blinked and looked over at her, absentmindedly continue to pat Frumpkin.

“Huh?”

“I don’t know man. You kind of look like shit and it’s bumming me out,” she continued, floundering out of her depth.

Caleb didn’t look her in the eye. “I’m ok Beauregard, your concern is touching though. This isn’t anything I can’t handle,” he replied, his voice still rough. Beau’s eye twitched.

“Whatever dude. Just trying to be nice,” she replied gruffly.

Caleb hands traced over his books as he contemplated studying them again. His hands were shaking, along with the rest of him, which did not help his head at all. A pillow landing on his lap on top of Frumpkin (who jumped off his lap to glare at Beau) startled him out of his thoughts. Beau was rummaging around their packs and pulling out a couple of bedrolls. She didn’t say anything as she threw them at him too with a glare. Also without saying a word, and with a badly suppressed shiver, Caleb unrolled the bedroll Beau had thrown at him. Whatever faults he had pride was not one of them and a blanket would do wonders to stop the cold wind biting him. His friends already thought he was squishy anyway, and if they didn’t mind the cold then that was on them.

Getting as comfortable as he could in the now padded corner of the cart Caleb dosed for a while, initially aware of the time passing and never falling fully asleep. Frumpkin quickly stopped glaring at Beau and came up to curl by his side. Caleb could have sworn he didn’t actually fall asleep but one moment he knew it was around 1 o’clock, and the next Frumpkin had moved up to cuddle into his arms and it was definitely much later in the afternoon. He did not feel much better, his head still pounding and his throat much worse. Between Frumpkin in his arms and the blanket on top of him he felt that he should be much warmer, but he still felt vaguely chilled. His head was hot and it was clear his fever had not broken. The cart felt like it was still moving underneath him and he could sense that there were more people in the back of the cart then before. It felt like Nott was sitting at his feet, the small goblin girl was easy for him to recognise. And his other companions were not usually the most quiet or subtle.

“Ohhh, that’s so cute,” Jester squealed in what she thought was a quiet voice. She must have just jumped onto the back of the cart, delighted by the scene of the sleeping wizard cuddling his cat before her. “Frumpkin you are such a good cat.”

Caleb was immediately grateful that Frumpkin paid Jester no attention and so didn’t encourage her, not moving while curled up in his arms. He didn’t feel like opening his eyes yet, hoping that Jester and whoever else was back here would leave him alone.

“Isn’t Frumpkin cute Nott?” she whispered loudly. Nott grunted in response but was much more respectfully quiet.

Jester shuffled next to him, putting her hand on his forehead. Usually Jester ran warmer than he did, as Tieflings often did. But her hand was neither warm nor cool to him, which confirmed the fever he thought he had.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Beau was not wrong he is warm. Well not warm to me but usually you’re all cooler and he’s not cool to me right now so he must be warm. Poor Cayleb! He mustn’t be feeling well,” she rambled as she retracted her hand.

“I thought something was wrong this morning but he said he was ok. He’s usually right so I thought he’d be ok,” Nott replied sadly. Caleb frowned at that.

“Caleb, are you awake? Cause if you are and you’re not feeling any better I’m going to try to heal you ok?” Jester said in her lilting voice, shaking his shoulder gently. Caleb opened his eyes to acknowledge her.

“Ja, I’m awake,” he croaked out, his voice evidently had deteriorated in the few hours since his conversation with Beau.

“Ooh Caleb, you don’t sound so good,” Jester cried as he sat up. “You don’t look so good either.”  

Caleb frowned, wanting to deny it but it was getting harder to do so. Sitting up he looked around the cart, Nott was indeed sitting at his feet, with Caduceus sitting on the other side quietly observing. Beau had left the back of the cart and only Fjord was at the front of the cart. Jester was kneeling next to him, her Traveller symbol ready in her hand.

“Ja, but I’ll be ok Jester,” he replied as an attempt at a protest. Frumpkin shot him a look and jumped onto his lap. Jester frowned at his response.

“Don’t be silly Caleb,” she said as she started to concentrate on her healing spell. “I’m going try to heal you now ok.” It was not a question as her hands started glowing their customary green. The wave of healing magic that went through him felt good for half a second, but did nothing to help.  

“How do you feel now Caleb?” she glanced over him, frowning a little as she took in his still pale face and the slight tremors going through his shoulders and hands. He didn’t get a chance to reassure her. “Oh, that didn’t work did it?”

“Nein,” he agreed, rubbing his head.

“Is there anything we can help you with Mr Caleb?” Caduceus spoke up. “Healing may not work but I’m sure I have some herbs here that might,” he started rummaging through his bag.  “You have a fever, headache. Is there anything else?” he asked with his low calming voice, shooting him a pointed look.

“My throats a little sore,” Caleb admitted hoarsely. Caduceus hummed in response.

“Ok. I have something that can help with that,” he said as he got off the cart. Looking down Caleb finally noticed that the cart was still and there was the remanets of a meal around a small cook fire that Caduceus was heading towards.

Nott climbed up next to him and didn’t say anything as she settled beside him. Caleb looked back down at Frumpkin and zoned out for a moment.

“Here, drink this. It might not taste too nice but it will definitely help,” Caduceus came back up to the cart, holding out a mug. Next to him Nott rubbed his shoulder to get his attention. With a sigh Caleb took it and started to drink it. It wasn’t the most awful taste in the world, but it also wasn’t the most pleasant. It was warm and soothing at least, and he had nothing to lose by drinking it. Caduceus smiled at him as he started drinking and went back to clean up the fire.  

“Are you alright to continue Caleb?” Nott asked, obviously concerned.

“Ja, ja. You didn’t need to stop on my behalf,” he replied.

“Ok. Well we should be too far from the next town anyway. So you can go back to sleep if you really want,” she said. Taking the mug back from him as he finished it. Caleb nodded and curled back up under the blanket with Frumpkin, whatever medicinal herbs Caduceus had put in starting to take effect.  

xxx

He had never been more grateful to see a tavern in his life. The rest of the afternoon had passed in a haze of half dosing and an acute awareness of everything that hurt. The sun was just setting as they passed through the gates of the small town. Nott had remained next to him for the rest of the afternoon with Jester, who was trying to be comforting by dramatically reading Tusk Love out loud. She was quiet enough that he could tune her out in intervals.

He didn’t pay much attention as Beau and Fjord asked a couple of passer-by’s where the nearest and/or best inns were. The town was small enough that it only took a few minutes to get to the place that had been pointed out. Once the cart came to a stop Caleb opened his eyes and sat up. Nott gave him a toothy, reassuring smile.

“We’re here Caleb,” she said, pointing to the inn to the left of them.

Caduceus was at the edge of the cart and was offering a hand to help Caleb off the cart.

“You really need to eat something Mr Caleb. I’m sure you’d rather continue sleeping but you’ll be better for it I promise,” Caduceus said as he put a gentle hand on Caleb’s shoulder, to lead him into the tavern like he was seeing through Frumpkin’s eyes. Caduceus frowned at the irregular trembling he could feel off the uncomfortably warm shoulder beneath him.

“Ja, ok,” Caleb mumbled, allowing himself to be lead inside.

He was hoping that the interior of the building would offer a warm relief but while it was a bit warmer inside it wasn’t the wave of warmth he’d been hoping for. Caduceus steered him towards a table by the fire as Beau and Nott headed over to the bar.

“I’m sorry you’re feeling sick Caleb and I’m sorry we couldn’t heal you,” Jester said as she slid onto the bench on his other side. “But I’m sure you’ll feel real better real soon.” Caleb nodded, not wanting to speak anymore then he had to.

Caleb allowed the chatter of the rest of the Nein to wash over him as they joined them at the table. Nott periodically tried to get him to eat some stew once their meal arrived, with less and less success. His shivers were getting stronger despite his proximity to the fire. His head was still aching, his thoughts were getting hazier, and his entire body was starting to ache and throb. He hadn’t been feeling well all day, but sitting in the tavern he started to feel worse by the minute. He lost the thread of conversation as he stared at the pattern on the table. His eyes feverishly following the swirls and stains in the wood.  Fatigue was crashing down on him and although he’d spent most of the day napping in the cart the need to lie down again was slowly becoming more and more overwhelming. He couldn’t pin point the exact moment it happened but he eventually realised that he felt beyond awful and that his temperature had probably risen.

Next to him Jester shifted and for the second time that day he felt her hand on his forehead. It was cool against the fire in his head and something about that seemed wrong to him. She hissed at the heat she found under her hand, not use to her companions being warmer than her.  

“Cayleb, are you ok? You feel really warm now,” she said quietly. The chatter around the table faded. Caleb continued tracing the patterns with his eyes, but gave a slight nod in acknowledgment.

“Caleb?” Nott asked hesitantly from his other side.

He turned to look at her, his vision tunnelling around her.

“I. I think I just need to lie down. I don’t feel so good,” Caleb muttered.

“Oh. Well we have a few rooms for tonight. We can take you upstairs that’s no problem,” Jester said as she slipped off the bench. She helped steady him as he stumbled to his feet with Nott beside him. He didn’t hear Caduceus mutter something about finding some hot water for tea or Fjord and Beau awkwardly telling him to feel better. He could barely focus on Jester leading him to the stairs and up to the second floor.

The rooms were small but comfortable. There were two beds with a nightstand between them. On one side was a small chair and a dressing table, and a chest of drawers next to the door.  Someone had already bought their stuff off the cart and into the room. Caleb ignored all of this as he collapsed onto the nearest bed. Nott prodded him to sit up to help him take off his coat and shoes. The shoes he didn’t resist but gave a stronger shiver when she tried to pry the coat off him.

“Caleb, you’ll be more comfortable without all this on,” she said tugging gently on his coat again.

“Es ist kalt, cold Nott,” he mumbled half in Zemnian.

“There’s another blanket here if you want it Cayleb,” Jester said as she went to the other bed and started stripping it. Too tired to fight her anymore Caleb allowed Nott to remove his coat and book holster.

“I’ll put these right here, ok Caleb” she said as she put the books on the nightstand next to the bed, making sure they were in his line of sight. Jester threw the spare blanket on top of him and Frumpkin jumped up next to him again. He meowed at him before curling up at his side.

Caduceus quietly entered the room at some point, holding a steaming mug of tea.

“Hello Mr Caleb, can you drink this for me before going to sleep?” he asked gently.

Jester and Caduceus had left him and Nott to their own devices not long after Caleb managed to choke down half of the mug of tea. Nott had settled onto the other bed to keep an eye on him, and Caleb fell asleep within seconds of lying down again.

xxx

The night was dark and quiet. Caleb jolted awake, unsure of how long he’d been asleep. Glancing around the room he could see that Nott still had the lamp on, which was confusing since it had to be early in the morning.

“Was. Wie spät ist es,” he mumbled, looking around the room. Nott was by his side in a moment.

“Caleb? Are you ok?” she asked, putting a hand to his forehead. He blinked at her. “You’re still really warm,” she added, obviously concerned.

“Wie,” he cleared his throat and switched back to Common. “How long have I been asleep?” he asked, voice rough and broken. It felt like an eternity since he’d fallen asleep, but the fever was messing with his impeccable perception of time.

“It’s only been a couple of hours at most Caleb,” she said gently. “Are you feeling any better?”

He blinked back at her. That didn’t seem right.

When he didn’t respond she grabbed the glass of water Caduceus had left on the bedside table and wordlessly offered it to him. He blinked at her once more and took a drink.

“I don’t feel so good Nott,” he answered at last, still shivering slightly. She hummed indistinctly at that as he closed his eyes and huddled back down in the bed.

Nott turned the lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. Caleb relaxed marginally with the increased darkness easing his headache. Nott climbed up onto the bed and sat next to Caleb leaning against the headboard on the side Frumpkin was not. Caleb muttered something indistinct in Zemnian as she settled next to him.

“It’s alright Caleb, go back to sleep,” she said, patting his head slowly. Under her hand Caleb relaxed marginally again, the coolness of her small hand providing some relief. Once again Caleb fell asleep.  

[kingofthewilderwest]

TMI expression of my emotions below. [replies fine; *NO* reblogs]

I’m beyond the point of being able to take care of myself, and it’s been that way for years. I used to function fine living on my own, with a few quirky mistakes here and there (some friends may remember the Saga of the 3 month old Popcorn on the Floor). But now I legitimately can’t handle caring for myself in the most ESSENTIAL “keep this human running” tasks. 

Food? The refrigerator has lots of mold. I’m smart enough to subsist off things that can be microwaved (frozen vegetables, baked potatoes, etc.), done on stove top (canned soups, rice), or eaten right away (celery and peanut butter). But it means imbalanced meals with little protein and often turns into too much junk food (because it requires no cooking) ...which gives me no energy to function, obviously. And I can’t cook well, so even when I do have energy to prepare a meal, it tastes bland at best - where’s the payoff? It often turns into me skipping meals because... I’m bad at keeping food stocked - no energy to shop for food - or I feel depressed, exacerbated by the vicious cycle of no food-given energy in the first place.

Cleaning? The apartment is terrifyingly messy. Nothing is sanitary, not even the shower. I can’t access my own bed because my bedroom is piled with objects that haven’t been put away. I often trip over things. I’ll reuse dishes and clothes instead of washing. If I have an upbeat day and I clean, I’ll get part of the problem squared away, but never enough to make this place neat enough to function and be maintained. Yeah yeah, peck away a little at a time and keep it maintained, I know that’s supposed to be the trick, but it ain’t happening no matter what I do. And if a place I live in isn’t neat, it makes me feel more depressed and fidgety and unable to think clearly.

Sleeping? Well. My sleep schedule is always in flux. Currently, I’m sleeping from about 8 AM to 5 PM on a given day. Soooo I get no sunlight, either, and I’m not awake during hours when other people are awake or when most stores are open.

Physical health? Well, let’s say that I’m on several prescriptions, but because my brain is so FOGGED UP and I can’t think clearly anymore (I had such a sharp brain until my mid 20s dammit???)... and because my house is a mess... I constantly forget my pills, have no clue what they are, and am never consistent with them. The last time I took pain medication pills, I was in a desperate amount of pain, and I ummmm... overdosed pretty badly and found myself vomiting on the floor shaking for nine hours. (I LEARNED MY LESSON I AM NOT TAKING OVER PRESCRIPTION AMOUNT AGAIN). I also don’t think I’m on the right meds, either, so even if I were taking them, I don’t know how much I’d be helping myself. Let’s just say that I’m drastically overdue for asking for a diagnosis on bipolar. I want to visit a doctor, get this squared away, get help for this... but that would involve so many steps to find a doctor (I just switched health insurance), transfer my medical records, schedule an appointment, be awake at the right hours to get there, have extra money to pay for potential treatments, and lots of other steps. Which I don’t have the energy to do. Nowhere close.

Socialization? [laughter] Oh dear. Between living alone in an apartment (but I really do function better living alone because I’m such an introvert who needs My Space), living in a city where none of my friends live (most people are about 30 minutes to 2 hours away), and working remotely... I get VERY little physical social interaction.

At this point in time, I’m pretty lonely, but I’m so deprived of spoons that about the best I can do is exist in the same room as someone else. Big social events aren’t going to help me and are often too overwhelming for me to even consider attending. The little things are all I have energy for, but I need them. I want to exist in a room with someone else badly; another person in the area makes me work better, think clearer, feel happier, and express affection to them. I want nothing more than to physically curl up with someone and feel them and be with them and secure with them and listening to them and sympathizing with them and laughing with them or falling asleep on their shoulder. Can I be held? Please? Touch deprivation... yeah of course that’s going on.

Since I have so little energy, I often get behind on work. Which means that, when I *do* have energy, I have to prioritize making money. I live by myself in my own apartment; if I don’t got the money, I don’t got a place to live. And if I don’t do my job consistently, I’m at more risk for losing my job, duh. I expend ALL my existing energy on work. I don’t have time for anything else (food, hygiene, fixing my sleep schedule, socialization). It’s practical to focus my attention on the most important thing: making an income. Everything else will collapse if I don’t work.

Basic human needs are NOT being met for me anywhere. Food, cleanliness, human interactions, medical shit... I am objectively not taking care of myself. And I’m not a fucking irresponsible person who can’t handle large loads of things. This asshat graduated with four college degrees (including a graduate degree) and several minors in four years with Highest Honors in Phi Beta Kappa while working several jobs and even teaching a college course at one point - that sure as hell wasn’t lack of discipline that got me there. Sure, I’ve always been lazier on some things like cooking (I hate cooking, I’m so **BAD** at cooking, YOU eat my cooking and see if you like it). And sure, before I left for college, living with family helped me live fuller because I wasn’t taking care of me myself and I with no backup. But no period of my life was anywhere near the brain-muddled, helpless disaster zone I am now, unable to do anything ANYWHERE.

I’ve asked for help. My parents have done a lot, I’m infinitely grateful, but exactly because of that, I don’t want to put any more on them. They’re empty nesters; they don’t deserve to have this weird bag of bones they raised for nearly two decades and spent a fuckton of money on... crawl back needing nannying. As far as my friends? Either it’s people long-distance who express concerns (but can’t do what I need most because of the distance), or it’s people close-by who say they’ll do something... and NEVER follow through.

I get that we all have spoon issues. Sometimes you don’t have the energy to talk to me. Sometimes you don’t have the energy to come down and visit me, or have me visit you. But if you hear me say I need help, and say you’d like to help... and then never contact me again even when I try to contact you... because you’re so sparse replying to me... then nothing helps. Spoon issues make communication more difficult. I get that. I have that problem, too. But friendships cannot be maintained and cannot be meaningful unless you interact. I get people saying “We should hang out” or “I’d like to help” and nothing ever gets done. I’m not saying this out of the selfish “help ME help ME” - or to guilt-trip people into helping me because that’d be jackshit wrong... it’s just - if we’re all doing friendships like this, we’re just going to perpetuate loneliness and unfulfilled interactions, aren’t we??? I know lots of lonely people affected by shit like this. We need to get better about this.

Of course some of it’s on me. I have trust issues where I think that even very well-meaning loving people aren’t going to make a difference because I doubt they’ll understand me enough to get what I actually need helped. I’m a logic-oriented person and lots of my friends, precious and pure and glorious sweethearts as they are, think in more emotional ways. And I’ve noticed logic-oriented and emotion-oriented people get encouraged different ways. So I never get the help that works for my brain and needs? Not to be dismissive of the kind words people give because they do want to help, but it just feels like I’m the odd one out that they don’t understand how to help, so I’m stuck at being “unhelped”? Or people telling me, “Just appreciate what they’re trying to do because they’re helping as they can!” But it... but it DOESN’T help me!

Lots of ways people try to verbally encourage fall flat to me. “I believe in you!” changes nothing; what you think of me doesn’t make me magically able to actually do it, for fuck’s sake. The point is I can’t do it, and even if I could, you thinking I could doesn’t change shit or make the problem less difficult. Heck, “You can do it!” just makes it sound like people don’t understand and acknowledge how hard this is for me. I know other people get encouraged by things like that, but for me it’s just rubbing salt in the wound. “Things will get better!” is objectively false; life is a neutral force in how it progresses; sometimes it does get better and sometimes it doesn’t. Overly squishy stuff is too coddling and actually annoying to me. Advice tends to come off as people not having processed what I’m actually going through and telling me shit I know better than they do. I know what I need and I try to communicate it humbly because I believe communication is important to good interactions with friends, and I try to listen to others to know how I can best help them in their struggles... but it just seems like there aren’t the right people in my life to be able to get the help I objectively need. I don’t mean it to sound dismissive or selfish... I really don’t... I will be the first to jump on listening and helping to friends... I always want to be there for my friends and help THEM... and it took me years to even open up to people and admit I needed help because I didn’t want to burden them...

I’m just LEGITIMATELY stuck and in a hole I can’t get out of myself. 

If I forced myself to a near-point of breaking in exhaustion every day, I possibly could do it myself... and there’s something to say about us being determined and surviving through tough times by taking that teeth-gritting step... but I don’t feel the payoff in that, as I’m pretty depressed a lot and don’t feel like my life is going anywhere meaningful. It’s a flaw but I don’t have that determination to stick through a fuckton of really really hard life changes to climb out of this hole myself. 

It’s just... everything is a tangle. I can’t solve one issue without dealing with the other issues simultaneously. Cleaning the house to make my head clearer involves me having enough energy to clean in the first place, and the time off of work to be able to afford a cleaning day. Having enough energy to do work and then clean means eating better. Eating better means having a clean enough place to cook and store food... and more energy. Having more energy means... well... you get the point. They’re all so knotted together I can’t untie this myself in my current state of mind.

It’s pathetic, really. I know that if I had more motivation, I could potentially climb my way out of this. It’d be hard work and it’d be taskmastering, especially without taking significant work time off, but the end result would be TOTALLY worth it. I can call myself out on this lack of choice too. The most successful parts of my life were those in which I cracked down on myself and disciplined myself and got shit done. I should be doing that here, too, but I’m not. I’m letting it continue to fester for half of my days. But I keep telling myself, “It’s okay, you’ll get to laundry tomorrow, you NEED to do work to pay bills,” and such as it is, then I never get this taken care of. I keep telling myself, “You can afford to sleep in after your exhaustion, even though that means prolonging the sleep schedule fix again.” I am culpable for my own problems, too. I’m not blaming myself. I’m not guilting myself. I don’t feel blame or guilt or self-hate or anything; most else might be shit, but my self-confidence is fine. I just acknowledge this problem for what it is.

Until I get these problems solved, everything else is muted. My mental processing, muted. My ability to help all my friends with all their problems, limited. The community service and church involvement I want to get back to. My desires to work on an original novel. My desire to save up money to someday afford a house. My desire to be able to get out more and make meaningful memories with friends. All that. Instead I’m stuck in this limbo of too-tired-to-work or must-work-before-tired-again and whoops-didn’t-take-care-of-myself-today-again-huhhh.

Anyway. Rant ended. For now. 

I just really really really really really want help with this mental health struggling. And I really really really want another human to Be There and non-lonely me.

[spectrumscribe]

Okay, I just thought of this since I only actually got around to watching the other rottmnt episodes yesterday but like since they look like they'd love it (well at least Raph and Mikey) maybe have the turts spend a night with April dressing up all cute and like putting on makeup and nail polish (Maybe with them wearing old big clothes April found or owns? Or after acquiring a whole bunch of clothes through whatever means). (Mikey and Raph just really loved dressing up and I loved it too)

this one was too cute a prompt to pass on. and congrats on joining the brand new rottmnt fandom! we’re growing in numbers with every day that the proper release date draws closer. :3c

“It’s making my eyes itchy.”

“Shh, you look great. Now- keep holding still, I have tocurl them.”

“Is it gonna hurt?”

“Not if you hold still.”

“Those look like they’re going to hurt me.”

“They won’t, promise.”

“You sure?”

“I’ve used them on myself, Leo. They don’t hurt.”

Leo’s lips stay in a bracing grimace though, rigid all overwith tension as April gently curls the fake eyelashes. She giggles at howscared her friend is, considering that Leo walks around with a giant sword mostdays and has faced plenty scarier than makeup tools. He’s a total dork, justlike Mikey, who is watching the process with wide eyes; leaning on his armsover the side of the bed, looking up at the both of them.

“Soooo… does ithurt?” he asks, poking Leo’s leg.

“Nnnnooo…?” Leo says slowly, blinking as April takes awaythe curler. He’s still grimacing. “Still super itchy, though.” He blinks rapidly,testing out the lashes. “God, how do humans livewith hair on their faces like this?”

“Haha, you look so weird, Leo. I wanna go next.”

“I think I might stick with eyeliner, April,” Leo says,touching the tips of the lashes. April smacks his hand away before he canunstick the glue.

“Take a look before you decide,” April says, holding up acircular desk mirror. Leo takes the mirror from her, examining himself in it ashe turns his head side to side. The thick black eyelashes stand out against thestreaks of red markings on his face, accentuated further by the eyeliner they’dalready applied earlier; before April convinced Leo to give eyelashes a go.

“I look… soweird,” Leo says after a moment. “Turtles really aren’t supposed to have hairon their faces. It’s… kinda a nice-weird, though? Itchy, but nice.”

“My turn,” Mikeyproclaims, clambering onto the bed and shoving Leo out of the way. He percheson the comforter with an expectant expression, eager as anything. Leo grumblesand unscrunches himself from between Mikey and the wall, climbing off the endof the bed and getting some space.

“Can I have the reallythick ones? They’re glittery,” Mikey asks, pointing at the costume eyelashesApril saved from Halloween one year. “If I’m gonna have itchy eyes, I wanna getmy money’s worth out of things.”

“Sure thing, hon,” April says, opening the packet. Mikey isless fidgety than Leo had been, probably by virtue of having seen his bigbrother go through the experience first. April’s started to realize that aslong as at least one of the brothers has done something before the rest, theother three will gladly follow lead. Even if whatever they’re doing is a badidea.

They also, sometimes, feel more comfortable doing somethingafter April’s done it first. That factmakes a strange squishy spot of warmth in her chest. Her relationship with thebrothers has really started to feel closer the past months; easy andcomfortable.

April doesn’t have any blood siblings, so in a way, it’s beena novel experience having the brothers in her life. More and more, they… feellike actual little brothers to her. Sitting here in her room, her small makeup bagspread across the bed and having spent the past half hour delicately painting eachother’s faces- it feels familial and warm in a way, like they’ve doneit a hundred times before. And that’s proof enough of how close April’s gottenwith the brothers.

The appreciative noises Mikey makes to himself when he getsthe mirror, after the job is done, makes April smile fondly. “I feel like abird of paradise,” Mikey says, fluttering his new eyelashes.

“You definitely look like one,” Leo says from the floor,having moved into the same spot Mikey had been. He laughs when Mikey winksexaggeratedly, still showing off his new look.

April uncurls her legs, sighing in relief as blood flowsback into. “Aight, I’ve been sitting too long. Up, up. I gotta check if theother two haven’t made the microwave sentient yet anyway.”

Her friends do as she asks, getting out of the way andfollowing April from her room. There’s no smoke coming from the kitchen, orsounds of laser blasts, which April is steadily becoming familiar with viafriendship with Donnie- but there isthe sound of someone lecturing someone else with a frustrated tone.

“Do you see this? It’s a vegetable. You have a mouthful ofcanines. You don’t like vegetables.Carnivores do not eat carrots.”

Mayhem’s crickety voice responds with a rolling chirp.

“You. Are a carnivore. I aman omnivore. I eat carrots. You eat meat. I saw you inhale fivehamburgers in one sitting just last week. Go steal someone’s fastfood and leave my carrots alone.”

“Oh my gosh,” Mikey giggles. Leo is laughing into his palm,and April feels herself grinning. As they come into the kitchen, Donnie isstanding in front of the counter with his hands on his hips, sans his battleshell in a rare instance of vulnerability limited to only specificcircumstances. IE: spending time with his family and April in a safe setting.

Mayhem sitting in front of the scowling turtle, tailflicking back and forth playfully as they give an innocent look. There’s acollection of chewed on and spat back out carrots littering the counter aroundtheir paws.

“Are you berating my pet, Donnie? Seriously?” April laughs.

“They keep stealing the snacks,” Donnie accuses flatly,pointing at Mayhem. “They are. A thief.”

“Ohhh, and such a cutelittle thief,” April coos, coming over and petting Mayhem. They purr like alittle engine, chirping as she squishes their cheeks and scratches their big ears.

“You’re biased,” Donnie scoffs.

“They do keep my feet warm at night,” April admits happily.Leo and Mikey both ignore Donnie’s disgust with the veggie snatcher, joiningApril in giving Mayhem the attention they’ve probably been trying to get.

“Guys?” Raph asks from the next room over. “Hey, there’s afew good movies on Netflix and I dunno which-” Raph’s shell scrapes the wall ashe tries to squeeze through the doorway, and he cringes and cuts off. “Oh,shit, shit- April, I’m really sorry.”

April sees the damage done, a deep gouge into the whiteframe along with a few other smaller scratches. She just sighs, picking upMayhem and cradling the strange little creature. “It’s alright, Raph. It’snothing my cousins haven’t done already- or me, too, actually. I got up to someserious shenanigans as a kid.”

“I either bump my head or I hit the wall; your home is so tiny,April,” Raph complains, though he still looks deeply apologetic. April noticedfrom the get-go how careful her large friend has been in her home. Despite the excitementabout April’s parents being away for the weekend and the five of them gettingto hang out here, April suspects Raph is actually fairly uncomfortable movingaround in such a small, breakable space. Thus, his expression of regret and howhe’s holding all his limbs close to himself.

“It’s cool, no worries. They probably won’t even noticeanother scratch,” April promises, handing Raph Mayhem for a cuddle. Now thatthe two of them have gotten warmed up to one another, they get along just fine.After the third time Mayhem attacked Raph- back when the little creature firstcame to them- they’d come up with the hypothesis that Mayhem was mistaking Raphfor the big muscly monster guys that’d been chasing them. Some treats, a calmspace, and Raph sitting down instead of standing over them fixed that easily.

Mayhem purrs contently in Raph’s arms, easing the slightdiscomfort that’d been in his expression. Donnie, through the conversation, hasdrafted his two younger siblings for busboy services, and is sending all theirmovie snacks into the living room.

“Nice lashes,” Raph says to Mikey and Leo as they pass.

“Nice hat,” they chorus back, and Raph grins, still pleasedwith his wide sunhat. When the brothers had first arrived, they’d stumbledacross the bags of clothing donations April’s parents have been collecting fora community event. Raph, for obvious reasons, hadn’t fit a single piece ofclothing.

While the other three had been playing dress up, and while Aprilhurriedly bullshitted an essay so they could really start the fun, Raph had saton the couch and tried not to act too disappointed about being left out. Donnie,who’d been sporting a nice work jumpsuit and ill-fitting rain boots at thetime, was the one who fixed that.

“It suits you,” he’d said with purposeful kindness, placingthe sunhat on his brother’s head. It hadn’t been a beat later and Mikey and Leooffered the wealth of chunky necklaces in addition; finding a way to includetheir oldest brother in the dress up game.

Raph put the necklaces back in the end, but hasn’t takenthat hat off since it was put on his head. April has a feeling she’ll just giveit to him permanently, because Raph keeps touching its brim with a happy littlegrin.

“Can we watch this one?” Mikey asks, selecting an animatedmovie from the trending section. “It dropped like, yesterday, and I didn’t geta chance to watch it yet.”

“I saw the trailer, it looks decent,” Leo says, floppingonto the couch next to Mikey. April takes the third cushion of couch, while Donnietakes the loveseat. Raph sits on the floor, leaning carefully against the armof Donnie’s chair, so he doesn’t rip the fabric of it.

“What’s it about?” Raph asks.

“The future and robots and a generic rebel girl,” Donnie replies.“From the looks of things, at least. It’s pretty obvious from the title card.”

“What? I sent you a link, Don,” Leo says, vaguelydisgruntled. “You didn’t watch it?”

Donnie shrugs. “You send me a lot of links, Leon. I can’tclick on them all and keep up with myprojects.”

Mikey pats Leo’s shoulder as his brother sulks momentarily. “I’lljust play the trailer right now for everyone, ‘n’ then we can decide if wewanna watch.”

“No!” Donnie abruptlyshouts, lunging at Mayhem on the coffee table. He unsuccessfully picks them upand drops them on the floor in order to save the carrots, as Mayhem canteleport and tends to ignore people trying to put them where they don’t want tobe.

The trailer starts playing as Donnie tries again to shooMayhem off his carrots, only for the creature to teleport out of reach and landin April’s lap. Purring and holding a baby carrot in their mouth. Donniemutters, “I give up,” and slumps into his loveseat as his brother laugh at him.

“You are a very bad baby,” April tells them seriously, thoughshe’s smiling indulgently. They just chirrup in a distinctly unrepentant wayand spits their chewed carrot on the carpet. She’ll have to clean that uplater.

April scritches their ears with a roll of her eyes, settlinginto the squish of being on the couch with Leo and Mikey; ready for the nexthalf of their hangout night.

Commission info & Kofi link.

[dorkyungsoowrites]

Spontaneous Attraction Ch. 16

Pairings: Kyungsoo x You, Past Chanyeol x You

Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut | Ambiguous AU

Warnings: None

Word Count: 5.4k

Description: You should have known things were too calm. You could see a storm cresting your way.

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The rest of the morning went by in a blur. You finished showering faster than you would have liked. What was satisfying was seeing the brightly colored petal on Kyungsoo's collarbone as he dried his hair with a towel. You liked the way it contrasted with his tan skin, and knowing you were the only two who would know it was there. Once he saw the time reality clicked in and the lazy morning was no more. Both of you got dressed and he ate a quick breakfast while you finished getting ready. When you came out he gave you a piece of toast you would have to eat on your way out the door.

After your morning lessons you went back to the apartment to eat and get your practice in before afternoon lessons. You were amused to find Kyungsoo had forgotten his glasses on your nightstand. They had to be important to have considering they helped him see better. You knew he could get along without them, but it would be more of a hassle, and you weren't sure the next time you would see him was. So you came up with a plan. A sort of half-formed, not totally thought out, shadow of a shell of a plan. Really it was deciding to deliver his glasses, but you didn't want that to be your only reason, thus the sort of plan. You were used to winging it. You literally made a living off of it sometimes playing improv at music gigs. Driving the path you remember taking a few weeks ago after taking a last minute stop, you found your way to where Kyungsoo worked. As far as you knew he was there most of the time. Unfortunately you forgot you needed a code to get in the building, and not wanting to spoil the surprise, called the first member to show up in your contact list.

"Hello?" You spoke tentatively when the call connected. "It's Y/N. I don't know if you remem--"

"Of course!" the chipper voice cut in. "What's up?"

"I wanted to surprise Kyungsoo, but I forgot I couldn't get in the building alone. Is it okay if you let me in? Or at least come get what I brought? I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Hey guys, I'll be right back!" he yelled away from the receiver to someone in the background. He replaced the phone next to his ear to talk to you. A door shut on his end. "What kind of surprise?"

"Mostly food, but I didn't forget about you guys either." There was an audible gasp.

"You brought us food? You are seriously the best." An elevator dinged. "Like actually the coolest. I didn't ask by the way you're in the parking deck right?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Awesome. It's like you have psychic powers. We just finished dance practice and I'm starving."

"They're more like snacks, but I'm glad I'm not interrupting your work."

"Free food is free food," he declared. "I'm almost there. Are you at the door?"

"Yup."

"See you in a second." He hung up the call. You waited with two flimsy plastic bags and not a minute later the door swung open. The boy beamed over at you, dark hair sticking to his forehead in damp clumps, sweat still dripping down his temple. A towel was around his neck, but he had yet to change out of his practice clothes because the baggy shirt was practically drenched, finishing off with basketball shorts and sneakers.

"Hey Baekhyun," you smiled back, stepping inside the building. His lanky arms came around you and hugged you tightly.

"I'm so happy to see you again."

"Me or the food?" He chuckled next to your ear.

"Both." Baekhyun pulled away and started leading you back the way he came. "How have you been?"

"Good, thanks. You?"

"Same as ever. Sehun showed us all that video of your concert. That was amazing. I haven't seen a performance like that since I was a kid. I wish I had gone with them." You both climbed on the elevator. He wiped his face with the towel after pressing the correct button.

"Sehun filmed the concert?"

"You didn't know?"

"First I'm hearing of it. Did he film the whole thing?" He nodded. "I should ask him if he can make a copy for me."

"I'm sure he will." You caught his hand trying to open one of the bags you held and yanked them out of his reach. "Aw come on," he whined. "You're about to give them to us soon."

"Then one more minute won't kill you."

"Pretty please?" He stuck out his lower lip and widened his eyes, hands clasped together in front of him. You rolled your eyes.

"That is so not the type of begging that works on me, but you have squishy cheeks," you replied. "It's cute." You poked one side of his face. His pout disappeared, swatting your hand away.

"I'll rub my squishy, sweaty cheeks all over your face," he threatened lamely. You laughed. The sweat didn't bother you to be honest. He had just been dancing for who knows how long; probably the whole morning. That was going to happen. The elevator opened. Like a switch had been flipped Baekhyun straightened and led you down several hallways silently. A few stray employees breezed past you. As long as you kept a respectable distance they acted like you were invisible. Finally you reached the right door and he let you in, closing it after following you.

Eight pairs of eyes flew to look at you. They were all dressed about the same as Baekhyun with minor alterations. A few wore sweats instead of shorts, and some had tank tops or had already cooled enough to put on a hoodie. Jongin and a guy you hadn't met yet wore beanies. Chanyeol startled a little just from not expecting you. One person jumped ten feet in the air because he was in the middle of changing. Jongin fumbled with his shirt, holding it to his chest while his face gradually got redder. You waved and greeted them while walking closer.

"Hey guys, it's good to see you again." Jongdae pushed Jongin's spare shirt in his face and he quickly pulled it over his head.

"Surprise!" Baekhyun cheered, running up behind you. Chanyeol sighed tiredly.

"What did you do this time, Baek?"

"Actually," you cut in. The group gathered around you. Minseok polished off a water bottle. "This was my idea. I thought I would surprise you." You extended one bag out in their general direction.

"Oh," Junmyeon replied and took it from you. "Thank you." A grin stretched his lips when he opened it, voice conveying more excitement. "Wow, this is perfect right now. Thank you." Baekhyun went to him and peeked in the bag.

"What is it? What is it? Whoo!" He pulled out a strawberry popsicle then leapt at you, almost tackling you in a hug. "Thanks babe!" He jokingly pecked your cheek before taking a few steps away and tearing open the packaging. You wiped your face of the spit and/or sweat he left behind. You didn't care to think about it too much. You decided to address the room while more people crowded around Junmyeon.

"I didn't know what you all liked so I just bought a bunch of different kinds of ice cream. Although there's a fudge one in there somewhere for Chanyeol."

"Got it!" Minseok announced and tossed it to the tall boy across the way. Kyungsoo made his way to you.

"Hey," you said in a softer voice, hoping the mild ruckus beside you while eight people argued over which frozen treat they wanted most drowned out your conversation. Producing your original purpose from your pocket, he chuckled. Kyungsoo slid them on his face. "You forgot your glasses this morning. I figured they were important, but I didn't want to come without a better excuse so." You gestured with your head. "Plus they deserve it. You work all the time. I also brought you this." He took the second bag from your hands and looked inside. "Don't lie," you teased and nudged his arm. "You were a little jealous that I cooked my roommate her work lunch." He smiled affectionately after seeing the plastic containers filled with sauteed vegetables, mushrooms, chicken and rice. "It's one of the few things I can cook so it's simple, but--" You were silenced by him pressing his lips to your cheek. He was gone as soon as he came, but the effect was still the same; you shut up. Glancing around, no one seemed to notice, or didn't care. The exchange was so quick you could have fooled yourself into thinking it didn't happen.

"Thank you. I love it." Kyungsoo flashed you another brilliant smile. "I'll enjoy it as soon as I can." He reached a hand out and hooked two fingers in the collar of your shirt, pulling it aside so he could see the fresh mark of color he left on you. His thumb ghosted over the abused skin, smile simmering to a smirk. He stepped closer, mouth inches from yours. "First I think I'll have something sweeter. You know how weak I am to the taste of sugar." You bit your lip. He knew. He knew how it would affect you and he loved that he could frustrate you so easily. He enjoyed knowing you were left wanting him. Kyungsoo glanced at your lips, tongue peeking out to wet his own, then turned and walked over to pick from the last dregs of slowly melting treats Junmyeon dangled from his fingertips like nothing happened. You took a steadying breath before scanning the room. Some of them had collapsed leaning against the mirrored wall with the rest hovering behind Junmyeon in the middle. Sehun caught your gaze and waved you over. Standing in a circle was Sehun, you, Minseok, Jongdae and the person you hadn't recognized. All with their chosen desserts.

"Hey you're not blonde anymore," you observed. Sehun pushed his hair back. You weren't sure if it was close to his natural color, but it had been dyed a dark brown.

"Yeah, but I think I'm gonna go back to a more fun color soon."

"Like what?"

"Maybe pink?"

"That does sound fun. Maybe I'll dye mine too."

"Oh, right. You didn't get to meet Yixing the last time we hung out," he spoke like he almost forgot. The ninth member waved shyly and bowed his head in greeting. The jet black hair falling over his forehead from under his beanie, thick lips and sharp jawline made him look more like a model than a singer. Then again the same argument could be made for all of them.

"It's very nice to meet you," he spoke in a gentle, wispy voice.

"It's a pleasure meeting you too finally," you replied with a kind smile. "I'm Y/N. He said your name was Yixing?" He nodded once. "That's a nice name. So are you a singer or a rapper?"

"Singer."

"And a dope ass dancer," Sehun added.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to dinner last time. They told me what happened. It sounded fun."

"Don't worry about it. You're here now. If I remember correctly I was told you would really love my party story." That made a grin crack his shy mask open, chuckling lowly.

"They told me that, too. I can't believe you set a lawn on fire."

"Not on purpose," you countered. "Do you also play the piano then?"

"Yes, and guitar."

"Nice. You're very talented." He averted his eyes and thanked you. You looked up at Sehun. "Before I forget, Baekhyun said you recorded my concert. Do you mind making me a copy so I can hear it?"

"Sure. Give me some time though. We're really busy this next week."

"No rush. I really appreciate it." He leaned his arm on your shoulder, really rubbing in how tall he was. "You guys didn't get in too much trouble for coming did you?"

"Just a lecture this time. How was your girls night out?"

"Wonderful," you scoffed and rolled your eyes. "We hardly danced before my roommate decided she was done for the night. I think we would've been better off going to dinner with you."

"Well that's obvious. I'm the best company there is. Have you met me? I'm more charming than a prince."

"Maybe we can try again sometime Mr. Humble?" you teased.

"Your boyfriend won't get jealous?" he smiled brightly.

"He can come, too. Kind of like a double date." You watched carefully for his reaction to the suggestion. He blinked rapidly, stammering slightly.

"O-oh? A date? Are you sure she would l-like that?" Just as you thought; Sehun was all bark and no bite. It was perfect. You could already picture the endless banter between the two of them, but since his shyness ultimately would kick in he would go at her pace.

"If that makes you uncomfortable it can just be us."

"Uh no. No of course not. Why would I have a problem with that?"

"How hot is your roommate to get Sehun nervous like this?" Minseok chuckled.

"I'm not nervous," the tall boy snapped. "I just didn't think she was interested in knowing us, that's all. She dragged you out of there pretty quickly."

"That had nothing to do with you," you told him. "She thought you were polite, and she really liked your laugh."

"Sehun? Polite? Did you not talk?" Minseok jabbed again. You ignored him and spoke up before Sehun could say anything back.

"Think about it. Invite others if you want. It was only a suggestion." The oldest member went to your other side and put a hand on your shoulder. He opened his mouth to speak, but you only half heard over the stinging where his fingers held you. They were directly over the bruises and his hands were shockingly strong.

"So when are we going to be invited back to your place? You did promise you would cook next time."

"I'll look into it," you answered. You relaxed after his fingers let up, hand resting limp instead. "If you guys can tell me a time that would be best my schedule is flexible."

"I'm really looking forward to it." Taking a step back, both boys let you go.

"I should probably get going."

"Why?" Jongdae piped up, whining. He looked genuinely upset. His lips were stained bright red from the popsicle he was almost finished with. It gave you pause.

"I practice everyday too, you know," you replied.

"Why can't you do it later? We like when you visit us." You cocked your head.

"I...could I guess, but you're at work technically. I shouldn't be here."

"What's going on?" Baekhyun jumped in.

"Y/N wants to leave us," Minseok pouted, much like the younger had before in the elevator. His eyes were even bigger and he batted his eyelashes.

"But you just got here! Stay? Please?"

"I really wanted to invite you to lunch," Jongdae added. Still in that petulant tone. You broke down easily, giggling at the way his voice slid up and down in pitch dramatically when talking. Seeing him so disappointed made you want to get him to smile again. You had to resist the sudden strong urge to comfort him. You failed.

"I'm sorry, Jongdae," you cooed. "I'll stay and eat with you."

"So acting cute doesn't work, but whining like a child does?" Baekhyun asked, slightly annoyed.

"He's not a child," you defended, taking the few steps to stand by Jongdae. You looped your arm through his, hugging to his side. "And he didn't have to act cute. He is cute. Like a cat that needs attention."

"You don't find that extremely annoying?"

"It makes me want to take care of him. Why? Does Baekkie need extra love too?" At your teasing he closed off. It would seem you struck a chord too close to the chest with that one. Turning your attention to Jongdae, his cheeks were dusted pink. "You still want to go to lunch?" He glanced between you and Baekhyun before nodding.

"We can just bring back something from the cafeteria though since you can't stay long."

"Sounds great. Ready to go?" He bit off the last of his frozen treat and hummed his agreement. "Anyone else is free to join us." Kyungsoo strolled over, and you released Jongdae's arm.

"Why not," Sehun shrugged. "Let me get something." He bolted to the wall where a mixed pile of their things were strewn.

"Are you coming?" Kyungsoo didn't answer right away. In one hand was the lunch you made. In the other was a half eaten cone. His tongue dipped inside, using it to scoop ice cream up and into his mouth. You watched as some of the cream got on the corner of his mouth, adams apple bobbing when he swallowed. He wiped away the excess with the pad of his thumb, pushing his lower lip out. He put the digit between his lips and sucked it clean. A person should not look that erotic eating ice cream. It was incredible how a simple look or action from Kyungsoo would have your heart hammering in your chest.

"Y/N?" You whipped around to see Jongin. He had actually come over with Kyungsoo. You shook your head clear so you could focus. Kyungsoo smirked beside you and bit off a big chunk of cone to chew on casually.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry about earlier," he said nervously, wringing his hands together. You tilted your head.

"What happened earlier?"

"Uh, y-you walked in and I...I'm sorry. I didn't expect you."

"Oh, you being shirtless?" You scoffed. "Don't apologize for that. It's just your body. Everyone has one. You shouldn't be embarrassed about that."

"Oh...okay," he replied slightly stunned. "I guess I'm used to a different reaction."

"Different how?" He rubbed the back of his neck, not meeting your eyes and mumbled,

"Fans screaming, I guess. I just wanted to make sure I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Oh," you exhaled. "Well now I feel dumb. I'm sorry for even asking. I forget sometimes. I guess I don't think about it as being a big deal, but not everyone is that way. My roommate always had her anatomy and physiology books around in college, and she still shows me people she's worked on sometimes so it's just...it doesn't matter to me. I mean, good for you that you're fit and all. I'm glad you're healthy, but it's just a torso, you know? I don't understand people who get worked up over it."

"Wait," Sehun cut in. He had returned with a dress shirt over his normal one, but didn't button it. "You forget sometimes? Have you still never looked up any of our songs?"

"Of course I have," you answered. Then added sheepishly, "a few of them."

"Which ones? Did you see the music video?"

"No. Definitely not the music video. I made sure to only see lyric videos."

"So? What did you think?" Most of them were looking at you by then, eager for your opinion. You assumed they only cared because you had been professionally trained in music. They had tons of fans, you were sure, so they knew they were good. You tucked hair behind your ear.

"I only listened to the ones that people said you either composed or wrote yourself. It wasn't a huge spread, but I enjoyed them. Actually, I did listen to two songs not written by you. "What if" and "My Answer". The first one I really only liked for the lyrics. The backtrack was pretty generic synth which is fine since you're a pop group. The other I liked the piano. It was very empty orchestration, but it pulled the focus to your voices and the sentiment behind it which I think made it more emotional. Your voices are all really nice." You smiled bashfully at the various grins that earned. "They all blend together very well, and I'll admit to getting a little emotional while hearing some of the cluster chords you used. I know logically you all told me you're singers, but it still amazed me how beautiful all of you sounded."

"So which was your favorite?" Baekhyun questioned you. You didn't hesitate to answer,

"Oh, 'Promise', by far. The lyrics and the composition were heartwrenching. I actually got chills with Jongdae's high note at the end of the bridge. I'm not even sure if it was falsetto, but you could hear the back space in your voice really clearly which was impressive. I guess your the groups go-to descant guy. If I had to critique something it would be that that run would've been the perfect spot to modulate up a half step." Somewhere in the room you heard someone whisper,

"Told you so."

"You could really feel the love that was put into that song. It had a lot of soul to it, and the way it ended? Amazing. No resolution, strings and piano, that effect that made it sound like the music was being closed off suddenly? I really love that song."

"But you didn't listen to more?"

"I don't..." You started over. "I'd rather stay away from that stuff."

"That stuff?"

"Idol stuff," you elaborated. "I don't want to see your stage personas. It feels wrong somehow. I'm very proud of all of you; you're extremely talented and hard working, and I admire that. It's just, I know you as you and it's weird to see otherwise. If that makes sense."

"I guess," Sehun agreed. The others nodded and mumbled similar things.

"Chanyeol," you called to divert topics. The tall boy looked over at you. "You haven't said much. You're coming to eat with us right?"

"Uh yeah. Sure." You made a sweeping gesture with your arm.

"Lead the way." His returning smile was awkward and forced.

A group of you went down to get food and returned to eat away from the hordes of other employees. Everyone except Minseok formed a circle on the floor. He had disappeared at some point. You were sandwiched between Kyungsoo and Jongdae. You had only gotten a piece of fruit and some instant noodles while the other members got more substantial meals. Spotty conversations picked up to fill the silences between eating. You sifted through your mind for a decent conversation starter while slurping up some over-salted noodles. The main goal being to have a relaxed conversation with Chanyeol at the least. He hardly spoke to you still, and when he did it was awkward and clipped. It was like he was afraid of talking to you. Afraid of saying the wrong thing you would understand, but avoiding you all together was starting to take its toll. Until the night with the misguided kiss he had been fun and bright and joyful. You missed your friend. You missed having that relationship where outsiders could mistake you for siblings because you were so close. Not only in the sense of friendship, but also demeanor. You liked the same things, laughed at the same lame jokes. When you were still kids you even had some of the same mannerisms. You were nostalgic for his company. You wished he still barged in to your apartment to watch a movie like he lived there with you. It was an odd feeling of homesickness. It was difficult to pinpoint why you still craved his attention, but there he was sitting a few feet away and you couldn't help wanting him to close the distance. Even if it was a simple joke or inquiring about your work. You just wanted your friend back. He was one of the only ones you had. One of the few strings that tied you to a world outside of your work. Cut them all and you would be back where you were at the beginning of college, every thought consumed with music in one way or another, isolated and overwhelmed. It wasn't until your first roommate dropped out and you found your current one that you were forced out of your loneliness to experience the world. She pushed you like Chanyeol used to and prevented you from burning out. Those experiences reflected in how you played because you were feeling a wider spectrum of what it was to live, and could convey that to audiences no matter what music it was. It molded you into the person you became. Your friends made you into a better person. Without Chanyeol, even though you were only reunited for a few months before things went south, it felt like something vital had gone missing.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a hand on the small of your back. The light touch made you shiver and look up from your food. Kyungsoo held up a piece of chicken pinched in his chopsticks. You opened your mouth without thinking about it, and he fed you the morsel of meat. He smiled gently as you chewed. It was delicious, but considering it was one of three dishes you knew how to cook--therefore had cooked hundreds of times--it had better be decent. Kyungsoo's hand left to pick up the container holding the stir-fry you made and continued eating. The small gesture had your cheeks feeling warmer. Every time you thought you were understanding him better he did something like that. Always without explanation. It was infuriating and wonderful never knowing what he was thinking. Granted that morning he had confirmed thinking something similar about you so after he went back to eating you brushed it off as best you could. Ever since you entered the practice room he had been trying to fluster you. You were certain he was doing it on purpose, and you wouldn't give yourself away too much. If he knew how easily he could wrap you around his finger you didn't want to imagine how much he would tease you. It was bad enough knowing yourself if he wanted to pull you aside and fuck you at work you would probably give in embarrassingly easily. Letting him know that? He would probably pull you aside just to get you to beg then leave. He had a crazy amount of self control. When he did something it was thought out and performed with intent. Pretty much your opposite in that regard. You went with spontaneous gut feelings and took things as they came afterward in a way that made others think you were more assured than you were. Together you were a good balance, challenging eachother to be more.

"Ah shit," Junmyeon exclaimed across the circle, staring at his phone. He glanced your way while typing. "Sorry, Minseok just texted saying the manager wants some of us to see him before going back to practice. Something about the photos tomorrow." He got to his feet and shoved his phone in his pocket. "Baekhyun, Jongin, Jongdae, come on. When we come back the rest of you should go check in just in case so there's no confusion."

"We're never gonna get time to spend with Y/N," Jongdae complained. "It's not fair Kyungsoo can see her whenever he wants."

"I'm sure he sees plenty of her too," Chanyeol grumbled under his breath. You still heard it though, and you swallowed down your irritation. No one else had picked up on his words. The four members who were summoned shoveled in big mouthfuls of food before standing to follow Junmyeon.

"Hey," you called. You caught Jongdae's wrist. Once he looked down at you you let go. "You guys know I'm only a text away right? Unless I have rehearsals or a concert I'm free at night. I'm always more than happy to have you over for movies or something."

"That's very generous," he replied. He was much more serious. "But I was just complaining about now. We couldn't steal you from Kyungsoo like that."

"Steal me?"

"Your time," Baekhyun explained. "We hardly get time alone to date. We don't want to keep you from being together. Why did you think we were so happy to see you today?"

"That's really sweet and thoughtful of you guys."

"Says the woman who just surprised us with ice cream and cooked Kyungsoo lunch," Yixing threw over with a smirk.

"Come on, guys," Junmyeon insisted. Baekhyun gave you a quick, slightly awkward hug, then sprinted across the room, the four boys saying their thanks and farewells. When they were gone the room was much quieter. You looked between Chanyeol and Sehun.

"So that's why I haven't seen much of you guys?"

"And we stay busy," the youngest provided. "Why do you think I dragged Chanyeol to your concert with us? You should just come eat lunch with us every day."

"I don't know about that," you laughed nervously. Chanyeol was sulking, eyebrows furrowed, refusing to look at you. "I'm usually working and I'm obviously just getting in the way now."

"How?" Yixing questioned, mouth half full.

"Well, because..."

"It would really lift our spirits," Sehun told you.

"Your schedules are almost always erratic," you refused. "And I'm sure you don't need me to distract you."

"Baekhyun feels the same way, I know it. I think he actually listens to you. And Jongin's finally talking to your face."

"Leave her alone, Sehun," Chanyeol cut in dryly. Your gaze darted to the tall rapper. He was annoyed. Well, he had been the entire time you ate, but now he was speaking up. He picked at his last crumbs of food, glaring at his plate. "If she said no then the answer is no. She has a life outside of us."

"Not much of one," you joked. "But thanks for understanding." His response was a short hum. Only enough to acknowledge he heard you. "Chanyeol, are you...are you okay? You've been acting weird since I got here." His hand curled into a fist then opened again, words clipped when answering,

"Fine. Don't worry about me."

"But you are worrying me. Did something happen?"

"Like you actually care," he spat. You felt his words like a slap across the face. He shoved his empty plate to the side where they decided to make a trash pile to pick up later, the bag that had ice cream in it their receptacle.

"Of course I care, Chanyeol. I hate seeing people upset. Especially when those people are my friends. I'm just trying to find a way to help--"

"Well stop it," he seethed. Chanyeol sounded huskier. His voice trembled in his throat. You knew that tone. He was either about to explode in anger or break down in tears. Funny how often those two emotions went together. He got to his feet, and you noticed his hands were shaking as well. His eyes met yours only for a second, but it was long enough to see the pain lying there; the flaring embers. You prepared yourself for his outlash, knowing when he got worked up his ferocity brought forward a darker side to the typically gentle giant. You would let him yell at you until he had drawn all the poison from inside him out. He normally bottled his anger, and when he was clearing his system he would spew venomous words until he burned himself out. Usually there's a grain of truth, but when he snaps he can't seem to control his tongue and small annoyances pile into monumental wrongs. Hiding his expression beneath his bangs, he gestured violently to add emphasis to his raised voice. "And for fucks sake you're not even trying to be subtle, Soo. Get a room if you can't keep your hands off her for one goddamn minute. I'm sick of watching you drool over her every fucking time you see her. We get it. Go fuck her in your own time."

"Whoa there," Sehun tried to calm. It didn't work. Chanyeol got louder, preventing Sehun from speaking anymore.

"No! I'm done with it! I'm done with this! I'm going back to work!" He turned on his heels. You panicked. You couldn't just let him go stew in his anger alone. There was more bothering him, but you felt helpless to do more than call after him. He yanked the door to the room open and threw a hateful, "stay the fuck away from me," over his shoulder.

Then he was gone.

[evakfanficsrecs]

Hello, babes!

Another month has passed (how the hell did that even happen?!) and I’m finally here with a new, pretty darn long masterpost with recs of all the Evak fics I’ve recently enjoyed! As you can imagine, I’ve read quite a few of them in the span of one month, so when I say this is a long one... it really is a long one. That being said, I hope you guys enjoy! 

As always, the list is divided into oneshots and chaptered fics. My personal favorites are tagged with a “★”. Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “✓”.

*

ONESHOTS:

The Balloon Intervention by lovelycarcass ★ Summary: uni!au; “Dropping hints,” Elias repeats incredulously. “This guy is about as subtle as a bull in a china shop. His crush was just painfully oblivious.” “Can you believe he’d emptied the fucking tissue dispenser just to get his attention?” Mutta snorts. Or, Even wants to get Isak's attention and the Balloon Squad decide to take matters into their own hands.

give it to the person you love by Joana789 Summary: Sometimes Isak thinks Even’s laugh is brighter than the sun.

Someday You Will Find Me Caught Beneath a Landslide by Alliesana Summary: neighbors!au; Isak's neighbor plays his guitar every night. Isak falls asleep to it every night until he doesn't.

I’m Not That Innocent by quickwitlips & walkthetalk ★ Summary: There’s a Halloween party coming up. Eva’s convinced Isak to do a matching costume with her, because no one else will. It’s Britney, bitch.

du og jeg for alltid by Sabiduria Summary: "Are you seriously going to make me sleep on the couch because I beat you in FIFA?!" Isak doesn't like to lose.

yearn to live my love by mauede Summary: “Hi,” Isak repeats, and his warm breath fans out over Even’s cheek. “Hi, baby.” Isak’s cheeks flush, and he glances down at Even’s lips, chasing the sound. Baby. * In which Isak really likes kissing Even and Even likes it quite a lot, too.

Join Me? by bashfulisak Summary: Eskild drags Isak out to a club for his 18th birthday and despite Isak's negative thoughts about how the night is going to go, it doesn't go too bad. Especially when he meets a good looking guy in the restroom.

he might give you a look by dobriks Summary: It's for him, those raviolis, it's calling him (or maybe it's just his hunger that's making him imagine things, but whatever) and Isak's stomach is grumbling in anticipation as he extends his hand to grab it– But meets something human shaped instead of feeling the plastic material beneath his fingertips. First of all, what the fuck.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley ★ Summary: After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger. 

Ring On It by TotallyTinkerbell Summary: roommates!au; Isak's room is the biggest mystery of the kollektiv, and only the guys that Isak hooks up with from time to time, get to see it. Needless to say, Even is jealous.

The Notebook by TotallyTinkerbell ★ Summary: Even notices Isak at the library and gets terribly distracted from the studying that he is meant to do. His notebook slowly fills itself with drawings of the boy rather than with his history notes. Even knows he should just go up to his crush, it’s a crush there is no point denying that, and say hi. 

let me whisper in your ear by grinsekaetzchen (Part 2 of the ‘our favorite parts are what we’ll keep’ series) ★ Summary: In which some of the cast of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ go to Stockholm Comic Con, the fans are loud and Isak manages to find a bit of quiet in-between all that.

You Think You Can Be Quiet, Baby? by Victory4 Summary: Isak think's he'll win a little sexual competition between him and Even, and discovers how truly wrong he is.

Inbox: (1) New Email by eiqhties Summary: A story about falling back in love, one tweet, instagram post and email at a time. 

and when it comes to eating peaches by Misscaitlin_g Summary: Isak moves from his seat, straddles Even’s lap, and whispers in his ear, “I want to lie back on those pillows and for you to lick me all night long.” Or, Isak is spoiled and Even gives him whatever he wants.

let's get physical by cosetties (Part 2 of you better work, bitch series) ★ Summary: Even can't handle yoga at all, but mostly, he can't handle Isak doing yoga in those godforsaken leggings. Maybe his plan to take things slow enough to romance Isak properly didn't take into account Isak himself.

love comes knocking by tarjeiandhenrik Summary: There's a really cute boy living a floor above Isak's flat and throwing up is usually not Isak's ideal first meet but well.

The Same Morning by GayaIsANerd Summary: Morning softness. * The same morning, through both eyes.

You call the shots, babe. by kaleidxscope Summary: uniau; Who the fuck plays an Arctic Monkeys' song at a party? Or: Isak and Even meet on a party and the soundtrack is just on top.

that's what friends are for by dobriks Summary: Even is desperate, Isak likes him, and Jonas listens to both of them rant about each other to him.

Everytime I look into your eyes I feel it by candysky Summary: Isak wasn’t even trying to hide the lust swimming in his eyes at the sight of his boyfriend looking almost criminally hot in his James Dean biker avatar. (Or, A one shot of an eventful day in the lives of Isak and Even where Even surprises Isak by riding up on a Harley, prompting a spontaneous road trip that takes them to interesting places.)

checking (you) out by everythingislove (narrylife) Summary: After being dumped via text, Isak goes on a late night run to the grocery store for some breakup comfort foods. Even is the cute clerk who happens to be working the checkout line.

when it's good by mikaeloboukhal Summary: Life with Even is good. Until it's not.

i was busy thinkin' bout boys (not like i had a choice) by Behindthecities Summary: In which Isak realizes he likes boys, falls for boys, and then ultimately loves a boy (and the boy loves him back). * A character study inspired by "Boys" by Charli XCX.

Tattoo by 6xqb9u004n Summary: Even gets a tattoo.

Blah Blah Blah by 6xqb9u004n Summary: Eskild finds Isak blackout drunk at a gay bar at 2am.

4 times the promises made to isak were broken + 1 time it wasn't by mellowgay Summary: Or, Isak gets in an accident and Even is his doctor.

Right in Front of My Salad by cuteandtwisted ★ Summary: "Let me guess. You're the type of guy who eats salad," said Isak. "Among other things," Even winked. * Or Isak doesn't believe in love until he meets the new cashier at the supermarket who makes him realize that vegetables aren't actually that bad.

feelings that i adore by thekardemomme ★ Summary: neighbors!au; Isak loves Even’s dog, and Even loves Isak. Turns out it’s more mutual than they think.

Peep Show by riyku Summary: This might be the kinkiest thing Isak's ever done, the only kinky thing he's ever done, but he's committed to it by now, and screw it, he's gonna give this guy something worth watching.

the privilege of being yours by toboldlyfly ★ Summary: “You said my nose was cute and squishy!” Isak replies, pouting. “You’re right, I lied. Your nose is the squishiest, and it’s gorgeous. It’s my most favourite thing about you.” Even touches the tip of Isak’s nose, pushing it left and right. He laughs at the face of annoyance Isak is probably making. He always did say that grumpy and pouty Isak was the one he enjoyed the most. * Or, Isak and Even spend a morning in bed together laughing, kissing and falling in love all over again (but what's new about that).

Car fears by sanameskini Summary: What starts with Even trying to calm Isak down after freaking out in the car, ends with Even confessing his own fears.

baby take your teeth out by yellowcurtainss Summary: Isak gets his wisdom teeth removed. Cuddles, cursing, and chaos ensue.

The Brotherhood of the Traveling Crucifixion Shirt by 6xqb9u004n Summary: Eskild had no idea who the hottie in the bathroom was, but he was pretty sure the guy was wearing his shirt. - Eskild meets Even during 3x05.

kjærlighet by thekardemomme ★ Summary: Love letters or suicide notes. (Alternatively: Even finds a love letter Isak wrote to him.)

i feel your energy rushing through me by babygayisak Summary: Isak and Even are soft in a bed on a Sunday afternoon.

The Parking Lot from Hell by dear_ida Summary: Isak loses both his boyfriend and their car in the mall parking lot. Even thinks it's funny. Isak thinks he can suck his own dick.

Baby's First Pride by 6xqb9u004n Summary: “So does this mean you’re ‘gay-gay’ now?” - Eskild helps Isak get ready for his first Pride Parade.

A Glimmer Of Hope Like An Exhale Of Smoke by CupcakeCait Summary: What happened after Isak and Even were caught kissing in the pool.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts ★ Summary: childhood friends!au & neighbors!au; “Um, Even?” “Yeah?” “Do friends kiss other friends?” Isak asked. Even looked amused again. “Sometimes." Or, the AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Can I? by AifaSkam ★ Summary: “Why did you want to get a live portrait?” “Actually, my friends kind of dared me to do it.” says Isak."if you don't want it, can I keep it?"

I call'em as I see'em...But Sometimes I Don't See So Well by HazyCosmicJive Summary: uni!au, Hate to Love!au & roommates!au; Isak just wants to study, he doesn't want a new roommate who walks around naked all the time and constantly tests his patience.

Take Me As I Am by givemesumaurgravy ★ Summary: “I’ve seen you watching me, you know,” Isak breathes as he pauses to bite Even’s shoulder, earning a small gasp from Even. Even groans, low and throaty as Isak runs his tongue over the broken skin. “I’ve seen you staring at me as I coach your daughter. And then today, I noticed you not being able to take your eyes off me while we played on the field,” Isak teases, his tongue lapping up stray droplets that pool on Even’s clavicle. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” “You’re just… so pretty,” Even says through a hitch in his breath as Isak’s fingers brush over his nipples. * Or, the one in which Isak is the coach of Even’s daughter’s football team and Even likes Isak’s bum. One day there’s a parent football game and Isak, just maybe, starts hitting on Even and, just maybe, Even gives in.

i don’t believe in yoga by rose02 Summary: Even Bech Næsheim runs and teaches at Under Vann yoga studio, and Isak Valtersen lost a bet to which the punishment was to go to a yoga class in hot pink yoga pants. Needless to say, this will be an interesting class. Featuring a flustered Isak, and a slightly bitter Even.

Oh baby, let me kiss you by Loveevak Summary: Isak has a crush on Even and gets a chance to sit next to him as an audience at a singing competition in their school.

New Year's Minute by killercatchy Summary: soulmates!au; Alternate universe where you have a timestamp of when you’ll meet your soulmate. The first minute of every year, you spend in your soulmates body. * When Isak is invited to a new years party with the rest of the boys, he hesitates at first. With a timestamp like his, staying home is always the safer option.

And you use it only for me by Skamisako ★ Summary: “Just wait ‘till I tell you how wrong you were about this, Isak!” Even sing-songs making Isak blink a couple of times and then smile bashfully, looking down at his phone again.Even grins to no one in particular as he pushes through the door and decides that making Isak blush will definitely be his favorite hobby from now on. OR: Isak works at a bookstore and Even can't stop buying ridiculous books to make him blush.

i'm not a twink i'm a TWUNK by lovedisak Summary: “What?” Isak interrupts. “Mh?” “I’m a what?” “Oh, a twink is like a young little gay-“ “Yes, I know what a twink is,” Isak rolls his eyes. “Oh,” Eskild goes back to his gingerbread cookie. “Then why did you ask?”

makin' me a mess by itjustkindahappened Summary: fake dating!au; The boy gives him a look of alarm, making a weak attempt at drawing his hand back, but Isak keeps holding it convulsively as he looks pleadingly into the stranger’s eyes. “Listen, this is super humiliating for me but I’m currently getting stood up on a date and my ex is a waiter here and he’s already been walking past my table too many times and looked far too satisfied for it to be casual so can you please just—pretend to be my date or something? I’ll pay for dinner and everything, I’m really sorry about this, I just—please?”

Ready For Those Flashing Lights by ultimatelawrence ★ Summary: It was meant to be harmless: taking a sneak photo of a hot stranger to send to Eva. Expect it's not so harmless when the flash is on.

last night by bbyfruit ★ Summary: fake dating!au; Alright, so Isak is pretty used to waking up hungover in the middle of the afternoon, especially at this point in his seventeen years of living. He’s also pretty used to waking up in Jonas’s bed, usually with Jonas curled up beside him, light that comes in through Jonas’s window and hits Isak right in the face. What he’s not used to is Jonas’s arm slung over his hip and no memory of what the fuck got them to this point.

Hopeless by waitineedaname Summary: fake dating!au; There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust. He was hopeless.

first dates by princevaltersen Summary: fake dating!au; Isak asks Even to be his fake date to an engagement party.

might become my lover, for real by evamohns Summary: fake dating!au; It’s Even who finally does it, hooks his finger around Isak’s before turning his hand over and nudging at Isak’s palm with his until they’re holding hands, Isak flexes his fingers in the grasp – still looking at the floor.

Shower Me With... Beer? by EvensDramaticShenanigans Summary: “Um, what… what are you doing?” Isak finally managed to splutter out, his eyebrows furrowed, nose scrunched up in confusion.Tall Handsome Stranger paused, his hands stilled around the bunched-up fabric by Isak’s armpits, his stomach now on full display. “Taking your shirt off,” the boy responded as if it were the simplest, most casual sentence that ever left his lips, as if those four words spoken in that smooth, low voice didn’t stir up a whole swarm of butterflies in Isak’s stomach and send a rush of blood south. “It’s drenched- which is my fault, really sorry, I definitely wasn’t looking where I was going- but I’m pretty sure if it’s not already completely uncomfortable, it will be soon if you keep wearing it.”

time isn’t wasted (if you’re getting wasted) by thekardemomme Summary: Isak is the best at holding his liquor, and the best at flirting with hot guys at parties.

respect my existence, if not expect my resistance by kosektivet Summary: A lot changes in a year, for example: Eva finally came out, Eskild got a boyfriend and Isak takes pride in himself now. * Or, a Pride Parade little au thingy.

Even. by bashfulisak Summary: Jonas drags Isak to a party and he meets a good looking third-year named Even.

Bigsby the Matchmaking Cat by smilexdarling Summary: Even owes his future love life with a grumpy kitten-man to a grumpy actual-cat.

Of Missed Classes and Campus Cafes by HazyCosmicJive ★ Summary: uni!au; Isak started the day knowing it was just going to worse. He looked like shit and he felt like shit and then he goes and crashes, no literally crashes, into the most attractive boy he's ever seen, yet the boy doesn't seem so upset about the event .Isak is a hot mess, and Even is just hot.

Imagine Redux by fandomlimb Summary: Even usually has no problem singing in public. He enjoys it, enjoys how karaoke can bring a whole crowded room together, allow strangers to let their guards down and shout at the top of their lungs in off-key unison. But when from the periphery of his vision he sees the door to the bar swing open—letting a beam of sunlight into the room, illuminating the figures of his five ex-best friends—his normally steady voice fails him.

it all works out in time by Valariia Summary: Based on a Humans Of New York story. Isak meets a pretty boy in a club under some unusual circumstances.

Privileged Information by champagneleftie Summary: Valtersen, Isak Valtersen, has been assigned to stake out Even Bech Næsheim. It doesn't quite go according to plan.

love doctor by princevaltersen Summary: co-workers!au; “Looking through Tinder and rating guys in the paediatric unit is definitely something that you shouldn’t be doing at work.”

The Powerhouse of the Cell by colazitron Summary: It's odd, being at Sana's when she and Isak aren't quite friends, but Isak may have found a reason to repeat the experience in Sana's brother's gorgeous friend.

i'm yours by princevaltersen Summary: “I love you, Even. You are the best thing in my life.”

No Flirting in the Science Lab by smilexdarling Summary: co-workers!au; Isak and Even fall in love at school, but this time, they're the teachers.

hurra for deg by colazitron Summary: Isak is a bit off when he and Even join their friends in the park. Sana notices. Or: an episode tag of sorts to Isak and Sana's talk on the bench, and Even and Isak's encounter with a bigot on Isak's birthday.

Why can't forever start today? by skambition ★ Summary: “Since when are you wearing rings?” Jonas pointed to Isak’s left ring finger. “Um,” Isak looked down at his hand, moving his thumb over the simple white gold ring, and couldn’t help but smile, “I actually have something to tell you guys.” “What, did you get married or something?” Magnus blurted out, bursting into laughter with the rest of the guys.

Let's Fall in Love Tonight by smilexdarling Summary: Jonas and Eva aren't the only ones with that loving feeling at their wedding. Who knew donuts and dancing could be so potent?

do you like or like, like me? by cosetties ★ Summary: Isak is totally down for supporting Jonas through the whole liking boys thing, but it's a little hard when that boy is Even.

just a little bit out of my limit by theyellowcurtains Summary: co-workers!au; Isak is pissed about where he got placed for work experience, that is until he meets his fine ass supervisor.

you make my face red and my heart beat by empty_venom Summary: childhood friends!au; Alternatively: 4 Times Isak Asks Even About Hickeys (+1 Time They Get Their Shit Together).

dear, don't you be nervous by chasingflower Summary: fake dating!au; Sometimes, Isak wishes he could just keep his mouth shut. It would solve a lot of his problems. (Or, Isak tells Eskild that he's dating Even, the boy he likes, but hasn't said any more than ten words to. It's not the best situation.)

thoughts of unruly curls and plush lips by reasoniwantyoutostay Summary: Isak and Even get consumed by thoughts of each other before meeting up for the Halloween pre-game. AKA What happened before 21:21.

Can't We Be Sweethearts? by HazyCosmicJive Summary: co-workers!au; In which Isak and Even work at a summer carnival together.

i could not want you more than i did right then by chasingflower ★ Summary: “Isak?” Even calls, sounding faintly amused. Isak groans again in response, and he hears muffled snickering by the door frame. “Any particular reason that you’re on my bed?” Isak groans again. "I’m not moving.” Even moves and sits at the end of his bed, gaze fixed on Isak’s face. “But, as I’ve said, it’s my bed.” “My day was fucked, Even,” Isak whines, and rolls over to give Even a pout. “I’m tired and I don’t want to move. It’s my bed now.”

what a glorious feeling by colazitron Summary: Supposedly kissing in the rain is only good in movies. Isak thinks that's more to do with your partner than the rain.

Oral Fixation by sensualstalker Summary: "He let his fingers wander over Even's cheek bones. He was watching out the window trying to remember what type of clouds he was seeing when he felt a warm sensation on his fingertip. He glanced down and found Even's lips wrapped around it, eyes still closed. When Isak stopped breathing, Even's eyes rolled open and turned to stare up at Isak. He opened, letting Isak take his finger back and now both jaws were gaping." * Or Isak wants to try something new and Even is totally down for it.

Notes by bashfulisak Summary: Even writes Isak little notes for him to see every morning while he has work-and sometimes, roles change.

i guess we should get a room by highpraises ★ Summary: “Jesus, what’s gotten into you?” Even mumbles against Isak’s lips. “Hopefully you will.” * Isak and Even are horrible hosts and friends.

sweet taste of love by toboldlyfly ★ Summary: They're both meme-lords, but this turns Isak on a little. Even likes to make inappropriate noises in public; Isak is chill about this on most days. There is neglect of ice cream, boys in love and sweet sugary kisses.

Nourishing Courage by colazitron Summary: childhood friends!au; Isak somehow finds himself part of the revue and Even helps him practice.

In the Eye of the Beholder by HazyCosmicJive ★ Summary: fake dating!au; After weeks of Even using him as a 'muse' and refusing to let him see it Isak is attending Even's first art exhibit. And to make it all worse he's going as his fake boyfriend, which wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't hopelessly in love with him.

Woo Me With Your Words by obscurial Summary: coffee shop!au; It’s not very often that Isak finds the confidence within himself to approach a handsome guy in a café. (A coffee shop au in which Even is Isak's favourite author.)

this room and everything in it by thekardemomme Summary: Even’s loved Isak for about as long as they’ve been together. It hasn’t been that long, but it’s everything, and Even needs to say it.

Morning Activities by bashfulisak ★ Summary: Even wants his coffee - Isak is sorta in his way - but Isak makes an offer.

The Kitchen Cupboards by dear_ida Summary: Even has a thing about leaving cupboard doors open. Isak thinks it's cute. They dance a bit.

fundamentals of being a wannabe creative media and communication person by greitnok Summary: A glimpse of pretentious film student Even and his supportive (questionable at times) but grumpy boyfriend Isak's daily lives.

it's kind of a funny story by dobriks Summary: "This is so weird" the guy said in an apologetic tone, "But– I, hm, can I use your bathroom?" "What?"

Boys In Photographs by stories_and_dreams ★ Summary: Isak and Even are mesmerized by the beautiful boy they see in Eva's photographs.

For next day will a stranger bring by lovelycarcass Summary: coffee shop!au; On Tuesdays, without fail, Isak's first customer orders a drink at the café, gives a name and leaves. He never uses the same name twice.

His, forever by TeaHouseMoon Summary: "What are you hungry for, then?" Even stares back. "You. I'm hungry for you."

Come and paint the world with me tonight by LostInAdmiration ★ Summary: fake dating!au; "If he had been smart and sober enough to say no, he wouldn’t be stood in a church he definitely shouldn’t be in, wearing a suit that was far too tight and a rainbow coloured bow-tie."

the time it took by Joana789 ★ Summary: Isak kept looking at him, kept seeing what it was like to be proud. What it was like to be yourself. Or Five people who taught Isak how to love.

CHAPTERED:

latching onto you by Behindthecities ★ Summary: fake dating!au; In which model!Isak and director!Even get caught drunkenly making out with each other by the paparazzi at the club and the only solution to it is to pretend to be each other’s boyfriends.

Date? by frenc Summary: Even has a date on Sunday. And he asks his best friend Isak for help.

All We Do by milk_o_vich Summary: The boy – who Isak had never seen before – was beautiful. Isak had often seen boys and thought that they looked hot; thought about kissing them or hooking up with them; had seen his fair share of porn to know that he liked looking at boys and liked fantasising about them. But he’d never seen a boy and thought he looked beautiful before. A.k.a. an au where Even is a penetrator and Isak meets him in his first year at Nissen.

Cut and Rewind by allyasavedtheday ★ ✓ Summary: “Now. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself?” Even swallows around the bitter tang in his throat and settles for the shortest version of his medical history that he can possibly pin down. “I’m bipolar. I was diagnosed with depression first when I was seventeen since the symptoms were more noticeable. But in February of last year I got my proper diagnosis after I had a major manic episode. One of the biggest triggers was my struggle with my sexuality. I slipped into a severe depressive episode afterwards and missed so much school that I ended up dropping out.” He recites it like lines from a script, like if he’s detached enough the words won’t really be about him. It doesn’t make them any easier to push out though. * Season 4 from Even’s point of view.

and it falls just where it needs to be by mmxii Summary: summer camp!au & co-workers!au; He’s only been back for seven minutes, but Isak is already so done. Or an au where Isak works at a campsite and there’s suddenly a new guy joining their team. Featuring a completely chill Isak, a suspiciously quiet cat, and a three-year-old asking way too many difficult questions.

Not Everything Is About You by HazyCosmicJive Summary: Hate to Love!au & roommates/neighbors!au; Isak hates his neighbor. He's loud, he's inconsiderate, and he's loud. When he finally gets a well deserved break from his obnoxious neighbor, somehow the asshole ends up flooding his entire apartment. He doesn't want to do it, but with nowhere else to go he ends up taking the guy's offer up and staying with him until his apartment is useable again.

Viva Las Vegas by ahana Summary: They say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Of course, with Isak’s luck, what happens in Vegas kicks his ass and follows him back to Oslo.

If You Don't Love Me, Don't Tell Me by quickwitlips Summary: uni!au & Hate to Love!au; Even's two sided personality is what drives Isak's hatred towards him. An asshole frat boy at night while he parties, then a top student by day who charms everyone with his bright smile. Except, Isak doesn't believe that Even has any good intentions.

You're a different kind of new by LostInAdmiration ★ ✓ Summary: "But that still didn’t explain why Even was currently standing in a crowded house with the boy of his dreams pressed up against his side and a girl stood in front of them, looking bewildered as Isak told the girl excitedly how he and Even had met." (Even has had a hopeless crush on Isak for months now, but has never been brave enough to talk to him. Luckily, Isak decides to make the first move by rescuing Even from unwanted attention at a party.)

Not A Chance by bashfulisak Summary: Isak and Even don't know much about each other - but while in the cafeteria, they can't keep their eyes off each other and eventually they can't keep their hands off, either.

relax, i've got you by thekalk ★ Summary: childhood friends!au; "Isak’s too proud to admit it out loud but his ankle is actually in pain ‒ it's nothing too bad but it definitely is hurting. Fortunately, Even plays along and pretends that he didn’t see Isak’s pained expression for Isak’s ‒ or more likely his pride’s ‒ sake and instead he leans down and presses a light kiss on the exposed skin on his ankle. Isak freezes at the touch of Even’s lips on his skin. This is definitely something new in their friendship." Or: a childhood best friends AU where Isak is oblivious and Even has a catchphrase.

helium hearts (we're on fire) by itjustkindahappened Summary: 10 Things I Hate About You!AU. Eva enrolls at Hartvig Nissens VGS in Oslo and falls headfirst for the popular and pretty Vilde Lien. Vilde, however, is not allowed to date until Isak—her sarcastic, misantropic introvert of a step brother—does. Together with her new group of friends, Eva comes up with a plan to set Isak up with the school's rumor-ridden bad boy Even Bech Næsheim so she can take her crush out. Featuring stargazing, parties, and endless pining.

Kiss Me Through the Phone by babenaesheim Summary: wrong number!au; He's been having a rough day, okay? His teacher yelled at him for 20 minutes straight in front of the entire class, his friends cancelled yet again, he got another detention, and he's so fucking horny. He hasn't gotten laid in a good few weeks and that's considered a dry spell for Isak.So yeah, it may be pathetic of him, but when he pulled up the guy he hooked up withs number from a month ago, he has no shame sending him a little text after ghosting him. Attached was quite a raunchy photo, you could say. * Wrong number AU where Isak is bored and hits up an old hook up. Turns out it's not who he was thinking.

Lights, Camera, Action by Sabeley ★ ✓ Summary: Isak is a porn star. Even is the sexually frustrated director that has to film him.

Snapback Glam by AltEr1212 Summary: Eskild is a postgraduate media and communications student at UIO. Even is a third year media and communications student at UIO. Even is friends with Eskild and has a class with him. Isak is Eskild's flat mate and first year bio chem major at UIO. Eskild convinces Isak to be his makeup model for his new beauty guru youtube channel. This leads Isak on a journey of being his true self and discovering his great love, Even.

Therefore I Am by smokeshop ★ Summary: uni!au; The one thing Isak wants is to move on from his high school mistakes. Even spends his time pining after a boy who will never like him back. The last thing either of them expect is to wind up in bed together, but that's exactly what happens.

To Share in Castle Walls by boxesofflowers & Eeyoreneedsahug Summary: royalty!au; Isak is still the heir to the throne of one of the most powerful nations in the world, only now it looks like he might actually live to see his reign. It’s still overwhelming, but now his boyfriend (Even, the one that makes him smile) helps keep him afloat. The problem(s)? Isak is more of a mess than he thought. And so is his country. * Sequel to Headed Straight for the Castle. 

Rentboy by carmenG Summary: Isak met Even through rentboy.com. He quickly learned that Even wasn't really a rentboy. Little did he know that his perfect boyfriend is also the future owner of Nasheim Corp., which is about to buy the Valtersens, his family business. A story about love and hate, misunderstandings and communications.

You Were My Sweetest Downfall by givemesumaurgravy Summary: Every morning, Isak reads through the twenty or so pages of medical reports and articles about him and the ‘accident’, and then he’ll get to that final page that reads: “Don’t forget him, please, please don’t forget him.” And below these words scribbled hastily in his own writing, is a picture of a young, lanky, blonde boy with piercing eyes and dimples smiling at him like he’s the best thing in the world. Under the picture are seven words that never cease to break Isak’s heart every morning all over again. “This is Even, and you love him.”

is it gravity, or are we falling in love? by mellux Summary: coffee shop!au & co-workers!au; Isak works at a coffee shop. There's two things he loves about the morning shift: 1, how beautiful the city is when it's sleeping and 2, avoiding the hot guy who he happens to have a crush on. Until one faithful day, he has no choice but to work with his crush.

Strangers by mehsarah Summary: Even creates a temporary home in a motel room for a stranger. Isak is lost and broken and doesn't know what to think of the stranger who is his new roommate.

lost lullabies by ourlovelybones Summary: Isak meets Even in the laundry room of his best friend’s apartment, yelling at the dryer with barely a kroner to his name, at 2 in the morning. He finally returns back to his apartment, it’s 11:59 and he’s in love. Or the how-to guide for "how to stop my heart from breaking over someone who was never mine".

Baby Got Back(Stroke) by koolranchkidz Summary: swimming!au; AU Where Even's the top swimmer on his last season, and Isak's the dark horse who's just been bumped up an age group and is ready to give Even a run for his money.

Blood vs. Water by bri_ness Summary: Survivor!au; In which Snakesak plays Survivor.

Wish You Were Mine by cuteandtwisted ★ Summary: “You’re after my heart, aren’t you?” said Even, leaning against the bar counter. “I thought we had already established that,” Isak smiled. Or Even is Isak's favorite bartender and there's some mutual pining involved.

Crystal Dust by Liolny Summary: soulmates!au & uni!au; “Right. Some advice for the future -” His eyes were glinting with something that could almost be described as playfulness but nonetheless screamed mystery. “Since I’m assuming you’re not some kind of MARVEL character” he paused “- looking through my head to see that clock,” he continued, pointing a thump over his shoulder, “is probably not gonna happen. I’m also sure your MacBook is more than capable of informing you about the time.” Isak was startled to say the least. He also just so happened to be the last person to be mocked by anybody, no less some arrogant prick, who thought he could just be smug in Isak’s face without consequences. Or: Even Bech Næsheim is a mystery and apparently there is no way in hell that he could be Isak's soulmate.

Strip My Fears Away by wtfidekgtfo Summary: Even has finally found a job after desperate searches. He has accepted the offer to be a bartender at a strip club. He's only new there, but apparently he isn't the only one...

i fall to pieces when im with you by Valariia Summary: In which Mikael insists on getting a third roommate, Even has a crush, and Isak is a beautiful nerd.

your hand in mine by ourheartsintertwined Summary: Isak's nothing but a rich kid with one too many maids, a bitchy attitude, and a spoiled way of living. Even is a drug dealer who's been raised in the hood his whole life, has one too many tattoos and owns a motorcycle. One day, they cross paths. And the rest, well, that's something.

Let‘s Pretend by wematch Summary: fake dating!au; Isak has been trying to get rid of Emma for weeks, luckily for him Even has a plan.

Heaven In Hiding by intothewind ★ Summary: Isak is the preacher's son and Even comes to town looking like every one of the seven sins. Or: the small town, football, preacher's son au.

Honest, Can You See My Soul? by poetichomo Summary: “Yousef has a friend who’s a cuddler.” And if Isak was confused before, he’s beyond confused now. “What does that even mean?” “He’s a professional cuddler. It helps him make a little money on top of his coffee shop job. I could give him your number?” Yousef looks so sincere, but the sleep deprivation combined with the ridiculous proposal have Isak speechless. “He’s serious, Isak. And Even’s nice, you’d probably like him.” Isak thinks he sees a small smirk on her face, but isn’t sure. “If this is some elaborate plan to fuck with me while I’m emotionally compromised, just know that I don’t appreciate it.” Sana laughs. “Nei, Isabel. We’re not messing with you. Just wait, this is going to be better than anything Jonas and Eva could have come up with, I promise.” “Fine, sure. I’ll try it.” * OR a Professional Cuddler AU.

Thin Walls by night_in_hell ★ Summary: neighbors!au; 'It wasn't as though Even was really accustomed to the telltale signs of crying, but- yeah he was accustomed to the telltale signs of crying. He played with the idea that it was just a movie playing too loudly next door, or perhaps he yearned for it to be, hoped it wouldn't be someone suffering in the dead of night, but the scene would've been so long, and there was no actor that talented, no one that could wholly fake those sobs.' Or Even and Isak are neighbors and some thin walls bring the two together in ways neither really could've expected.

Boy with a Basket of Fruit by Fxckxxp ★ ✓ Summary: Isak is a third-year architecture student studying abroad in Rome, Italy when he meets Even—a triple major and a triple threat. He’s handsome. He’s smart. And he’s charming as hell with the right amount of weird mixed in. Isak’s intrigued, but he doesn’t want to like him—he actually came to Rome to quite literally run away from his relationship problems back home. But the heart wants what the heart wants, even if Isak attempts to ignore it. He tries to listen to the universe. It’s throwing all the signs to just stay away right in his face, but for some reason, it’s also throwing him right into Even’s arms at every turn. So he tortures himself. He doesn’t make a move. They can be just friends, after all. Until they can’t.

I'll Wait For You by photographer_of_thoughts ✓ Summary: "I'll wait until you're ready," Even said, but Isak didn't know if he would ever be ready. The AU in which Isak and Even didn't get a chance to save each other at Nissen. But time is a funny thing.

If only. by GH1999 Summary: co-workers!au; Isak fucked up. Totally, completely, royally screwed up. His application for an internship should have been sent two days ago. The university of Oslo had sent him an email, asking whether he had already applied, and if not, that he could not continue at UiO. Or: Isak starts teaching at the Hartvig Nissen School and finds that he has a very handsome co-worker.

Blanket Fort Gospel by Sabeley ★ ✓ Summary: childhood friends!au;  Isak Valtersen met the love of his life when he was eleven years old. It was a truth he had long tried to deny, but it was the truth nevertheless.

Solo by iceandfire Summary: uni!au & secret admirer!au; Isak and Even meet in slightly different circumstances, but a lot of things stay exactly the same.

Don't Hold Your Breath by bechvaltersen Summary: Isak hates how he feels about Even, knows it could possibly ruin his friendship forever if he was to ever find out. But he doesn't ever wonder, what if Even feels the same?

the price of starting over by smalltownmotel Summary: neighbors!au & co-workers!au; Even lives above Isak. Isak hates loud noises. Even loves throwing loud parties.

It's getting hot in here by suckmyboardbxtch ✓ Summary: AU in which Isak is drooling over a hot Even, who is working out at the gym with the Balloon-Squad. 

snapshots of a scattered heart by chevythunder Summary: roommates!au; Isak knows he's being thought of as nothing other than roommate, friend and listener. He's fine with it. He is.

We Found the Stars by Sabeley ★ ✓ Summary: Each year, Isak's father, a world renowned screenwriter, invites one promising young filmmaker to spend the summer in Italy with him and his family. It had never been anything more than a nuisance to Isak—until the arrival of Even Bech Næsheim. Suddenly, Isak finds himself drawn into a whirlwind summer romance that will change his life forever. Or a modern Call Me by Your Name AU.

The boy next door by Zabn Summary: neighors!au; Isak looks at Jonas, hoping the blush has already disappeared from his cheeks, he nervously scratches his neck. Fuck, did Jonas notice that he was staring at his new neighbor? “Are you daydreaming or what? I asked if there's someone new moving in.” Jonas laughs a little and nods towards the neighbor house.

+ All the fics featured in our Skam Fic Rec Week post under my name!

–A

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Kawaii Box Nov 17

Hello, welcome to another review.... I’m sick again. Or should I say, still sick? Because I don’t think the cold bug actually ever left- he just went on a temporary break.

Well that and it’s probably because on Sunday night we went to the Christmas Lights fair in the country and it was very chilly out.

Anyhoo, here we are now ( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/ I hope you enjoy the review! But before that I want to remind any new Cuties, you can hover the cursor over images to make them easier to see. 

Kawaii Thanksgiving Parade!

First up is this cute bag by Kanahei, featuring the recently popular Usagi and Piske, a bunny and bird duo with simple but comedic features. The fabric is very soft, and features two string pulls, along with Piske and Usagi sewn on with some words above them. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s an ultra-soft bag; I really want to cuddle it :3 Which I did, and it felt amazing~

The sewn on details are really nice and smooth, and this bag is a decent size so I feel like it could be pretty useful too. I was able to fit in all of my essentials with no problem (and I have many). I also like how it came in this plastic bag, which will keep it protected from getting dirty.

It might just be me, but the draw-strings seem a little cheap in comparison to the rest of the bag. This fabric (from past experiences) tends to weaken or thin over time, and I sort of wish they matched the rest of the bag. While it might not be obvious in the image, it’s painfully obvious in real life that it does not go with the bag at all.

I’m just going to point out right now that I don’t know if this is official or fake. I know a few people are accusing Kawaii Box of fake products and have shown me some pretty convincing evidence. But I want to believe Kawaii Box wouldn’t be trying to rip people off knowingly.... I try to remain impartial on the subject.

Anyway, this is a Techi Techi Gomarachi Plush. Gomarachi is this adorable seal by Amuse. He has tons of merchandise, and there’s even a Japanese DS/3DS game for him. It looks really cute and I considered buying it when I saw it ♥

I got Gomarachi, as you can see by this checklist picture. I really like the two girl seals though, so I kind of wish I got one of them. But they are all really cute and squishy marshmallows~

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ 

It’s really cute... but it’s a little cheap. Again the picture fails to do my description any justice. It’s soft and bouncy, but it has that “cheap fluff filling“ I noticed in a few other plush toys that don’t seem to do as well as others I’ve gotten from other crate brands.

I also noticed its face is slanted （・□・；） Nothing lines up proportionate wise except for its 3 mouth. Not even the muzzle. It’s not super noticeable, so I’m not sure this was intentional or not. It’s paws/hands/flippers aren’t evenly stuffed either, and there’s a loose string by its muzzle as well...

Here’s an adorable pair befitting of the image on the included card I showed you on top of the page. A Rain Boot Ink Pen, and a Let’s Go Mini Notebook.

How adorable is this pen?? It’s so cute! It has a cute little animal face on it, and a small platform piece where the heel of the boot is. The tip of the pen is fine and has a tiny plastic bit over it to keep the ink from making a mess.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s a very simple pen, and while the cap is adorable... I wish it was a little bit more decorative? It’s literally a plain grey stick with a cutesy cap. But the cap is capable of sticking on both sides, which is another good quality since I worry about losing the caps if I can’t put them on the pen’s top.

The only thing that has me confused is the way the heel of the boot is shaped/designed, I feel like it is meant to stand. But it can’t, because I tried it on a few different surfaces and either I have it on the wrong one, or I gave a strange decision choice too much credit. It would have been cool if it could have stood though!

To go with the pen is this sweet little pink notebook featuring a small girl with cherries, a simple border, and writing that says Let’s Go!! and Accompany growth. The inside is very plain, featuring lined pages with a small section for a title, name, and date. I has 80 pages in it.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I love it’s simple and cheery design x3 It’s very sweet, and I like how it’s in this protective translucent cover- which not only gives it some support (something that’s kind of bugged me with over notebooks I got in these boxes), but once you finish using it you could probably find a replacement to slide in it’s place.

If you’ve been reading this blog for even a short time, you can probably recall that I LOVE hair accessories!

Especially cutesy hair clips like these Harajuku Food Hair Clips. They go perfect with some past colorful drink-type Harajuku pins I got from from Kawaii Box ♥ I believe this is some peanut butter, toast, and... ketchup?

I won’t criticize accuracy in spelling (buteer, instead of butter), but as much as I love pink, I’m not actually sure if that is ketchup or something else. For all I know it’s lemon sauce!

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

（。＞ω＜）。

I. ADORE. These.

Not only are they kawaii, but the clip pieces they used are pretty cute too, and they seem to work fairly easily without too much force. The last time I got cute hair clips they were extremely loose (I had to glue them back on before I even got a chance to wear them), so I thought this would be a repeat of that. I was delightfully surprised to see it wasn’t- and I can’t wait to use them with my pins!

As usual we can look forward to some cute stickers! This month we get two sets, including the Twinkle Jewel Seal Deco Diamonds, sparkling gem-like stickers that you can use for deco purposes.

I love these, I’m obsessed with gems and shiny things, and hearts. I can’t wait to actually find something to deco with them now, although I still have the other set I got from my first Kawaii Box, which was a colorful set full of different shapes. 

The other sticker sheet is full of Gudetama! Who lately I find is gathering more and more steam where I live. Not that I’m complaining- who doesn’t love this cute lazy egg? Especially when he’s getting into trouble and playing with other foods x3

The background of the stickers are see-through too, which I like.

Ratings:  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

They’re both stickers, one is deco purpose, the other is for whatever. I don’t have any issues with these, so I really don’t have anything to remark upon either. 

Our last item for this box is a little bag of Kasugai Chibi Vege Ramune Candies.

I eat vegetables, but not often, and I’m very picky with them. I was expecting these to taste like vegetables- so I admit, I waited until I had to get pictures before trying them.

Also, according to the bag this is supposed to be a really good candy for those with food allergies. It has no egg, grains, seeds, peanut, shell fish, crab, and something that looks like milk/dairy.

Of course I am wondering what’s in this- but I can’t translate what’s written on the back.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I love candies like these, and once in your mouth they melt into softened mounds. In terms of taste... I can’t exactly identify what they are. I think the pinkish-purple is on the grape side, while the white seem to have a very faint lemonish taste... but I don’t think it’s lemon.

Weirdly they smell like soy sauce rice snacks I’ve eaten in the past o_o I don’t hate the smell, and thankfully they don’t taste like that because while I love soy sauced rice snacks I’m not sure how it would be in candy form...

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content -  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  I liked everything essentially. Nothing really wowed me though, which seems to be a running gag for me by now. That’s kind of bad, but sometimes it happens, especially with how predictable this box has become lately. For the price we paid I feel like we got just about our money’s worth. 

Quality -   ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  Everything is perfectly fine- I was very happy with the hair clips especially. But tiny details made it a little... meh? Like the odd plush, and that plain pen and it’s weird heel.

Theme - ♥ Um... I’m starting to think there isn’t mean to be a theme. At least some times. Like the message said THANKSGIVING, but the design on the front depicts a rainy season picture... None of the items really screamed any sort of apparent theme either. But I do like how the images on the items listing match the items we got. Sometimes they don’t.

Total Rank: 10 out of 15 Cuties. Um... this one only barely did better then the previous one. I do like it, but the box has become so predictable it doesn’t really offer much surprise at the time. They do change the contents, and if I really had to request anything I’d say, “please include squishies again“ or “go back to including DIY candy“, which they stopped doing a while back. I think they did it to save a buck or two, but I could be wrong.

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Kanahei Bag - I really didn’t think this would be my top choice initially. But I fell in love with it’s really soft texture and feel. It’s amazing~

2. Harajuku Hair Clips - Odd color choices or not, I can’t deny how fun and cute they look. I’m really excited to star using them!

3. Gomarachi Plush - He’s so sweet looking, even if he is a little lop-sided~

4. Mini Notebook -  I love it’s soft and simple design on the front.

5. Twinkle Jewel Seal Deco Diamonds - I’m a sucker for hearts, gems, and pink things~

6. Vege Ramune Candies - The packaging is fun with the doggies wide-opened mouth :D

7. Gudetama Stickers - They are cute and funny to look at. I always smile when I see Gudetama :3

8. Rain Boot Pen - Pretty sure this is the plainest pen we got yet. The cap is cute but it’s not enough to save the rest of it.

Okay, so that will be it for this review. I know I didn’t really have too much to remark upon regarding some items. I found myself feeling indifferent/neutral about the box in general.

I still have 2 or 3 November boxes remaining, and while I usually save Tokyo Treat for last I might do it next. I did open a couple of things last week when I intended to get to the review but that didn’t happen.

Until next time, stay cute!

[cosmosogler]

today i got almost everything done!

my mother woke me up at about 5:45, and then again at 6:20. i was super angry. then my brother and sister were in both the upstairs bathrooms so i had to go all the way downstairs and across the house just to go to the bathroom before i went back to sleep.

i dreamed that i was getting annoyed with a conspiracy theorist. “video games are downloading scientific theories into your brain!!!” it was the science that scared them apparently. and the computers. the person wasn’t even present, i was just hearing their voice as i played dream mario, which is only slightly like nintendo mario. i told the voice that video games are just another way to tell a story. i pulled a children’s book out of somewhere, i think it was “goodnight moon” actually. except the cover was wrong. but i was telling the voice that there wasn’t nothin wrong with telling a cute or simple story.

sometimes the story is “i got really good at jumping over hills and across floating spinners and on turtles.”

i only put on the snooze for five minutes because i really, REALLY didn’t want to get up with less than like seven and a half hours of sleep. i got up anyway and showered. i didn’t get to spend long in the shower though... i really need to shave but i haven’t had much time at all the last five, seven days. i shower every other day since it’s a little better for your hair and skin...

anyway as i was heading out to go to therapy dad decided to start asking me to do some chores. i sort of started one, i let eve outside, but i seriously didn’t have time to wait for her to take a sunbath and let her back in. then someone (not naming names, because i’m not 100% sure) decided to park their car in a way that made it impossible for me to pull out of the garage. so i had to go back inside, get that car’s key, move it to the other side of the driveway, go back inside to drop off that key, and then i could get in “my” car and get going. then people on the freeway kept cutting me off without using their turn signals and also were generally going below the speed limit so i would have to stand on the brakes. this happened more than once. then i almost hit someone trying to get over to the exit because as i passed them apparently they sped up while passing through my blind spot so they were farther up than i thought they would be when i started changing lanes. cool!!!!!!!!

in individual therapy i brought up a bunch of emotional problems i had started to explore a little bit in group therapy. i ended up talking for the whole 45 minutes straight basically. like, my therapist asked a few questions, and reassured me a few times, but it was like a huge information dump so hopefully in the coming weeks i can start addressing each problem individually. i also got my semester refund paperwork sorted out with her. i’ll be able to pick it up next week. i mostly focused on how none of my problems feel “big enough” unless they are unsolvable since i really didn’t get to talk about it in group yesterday. i said one thing that i kind of liked though. i said “i feel like if i didn’t have so many problems, i wouldn’t have so many problems.” 

what i meant to say was “if i didn’t have so many mental and personality problems, i wouldn’t have so many life problems,” but the vagueness was silly enough that my therapist made a face and laughed. i said i didn’t know what to focus on first and she said “you’re already working on everything.” i had listed the multiple projects i am trying to keep up with therapy wise... i dunno. i feel like if i can get over that big “problems have to be impossible” hurdle things will start feeling a little more manageable and i’ll be able to make progress more quickly.

guess i gotta spend more time thinking about that. i’ll keep you posted as things come up.

after that i picked up my paperwork from my physician’s office since i was on that side of town and got the number for the radiology lab that wants to do the last test. when i got home i shoved some leftovers in the microwave and called the lab and scheduled my “hida scan,” which is a gall bladder test i guess where they put a bunch of glowing stuff through your digestive system and see if it goes through normally. the scheduler said it normally takes two hours unless they find something, in which case it will take longer. luckily my next therapy appointment is 4 hours after my procedure... i hope that will give enough time. i will have to let her know. i definitely wouldn’t be able to do it on a group therapy day and the lady seemed pretty keen on doing it as soon as possible. and i can’t do it in the afternoon in case it goes long and dad isn’t able to get to work.

so 8 am next tuesday it is.

so i had my ravioli and went upstairs and then after a short break i watched the iron giant with oz. the movie is even better than i remembered. then we talked about physics stuff while i worked on gathering study materials with my classmates. i had a great time, and i hope oz did too. it felt nice to do an activity with someone that took up all our attention, so i didn’t have to, like, feel self conscious about not baring my soul or something.

i think when asher gets back i will talk to him about maybe spending an afternoon at the pottery lounge thing by the amc. it’s not cheap, but last time i checked i didn’t think it was too expensive at least. and i still have the ceramic dog i painted like 15 years ago so the stuff lasts. basically you pick out a little ceramic statue and you get to paint it using a selection from like 200 different shades. and i think you can stay as long as it takes to paint it. the smaller stuff wasn’t too bad cost-wise.

got sidetracked. after i hung up with oz and got all my emails and google docs in order i went and got groceries for mom. she was making quesadillas for dinner. i unfortunately had to pay for them with my own money, and it felt weird buying meat after all these years. but i guess i buy dog treats often enough that it’s not really, like, a compromise of my morals or something. i noticed that the dogs really went wild over the chicken strips i bought last time, so i tried to expand to “turducken.” (spoiler: they loved those too.)

so i dropped off the vegetables and stuff with mom, checked on the cactus mouse, and watched a couple of the videos i had loaded up while talking to oz. i try not to spend too much time reading or watching videos while talking to people because i get super focused on what i’m looking at and don’t hear what they say any more haha.

then i went downstairs and had my veggie quesadilla. it was... ok. i was still a little hungry afterward, but i also felt kind of ill so i didn’t want to eat any more. eating with mom was the WORST. she breathes loud and chews with her mouth open so it’s just a constant avalanche of awful squishy mouth noises. it made me so angry and annoyed that i think that’s what made me sick more than the food. i kind of abruptly stood up and put my plate away and took the dogs outside after trying out the new treats. i tried to play fetch with wiley but he was having none of it today. which is very odd... maybe it was just too hot for him to want to run around. 

i have been experiencing kind of horrible pain between my shoulder blades. i’m pretty sure it’s not my bra pinching anything because it’s way above the strap... probably a pinched nerve. i tried stretching my arms and shoulders and that seemed to help a lot, so i’m thinking i slept in a bad position.

then i went back upstairs and whined to myself about my therapy homework. i did more “self care” research and added a few more posts to my queue. and i talked with some discord guys a little bit. then i caught up on my self esteem journal and picked out one of my “short term goals” from my hospital-issued treatment plan. i used that as a base to expand on for my goal worksheet. i finished all that around 11 so then i got started on the owl picture for 40 minutes or so. now i am 35 minutes into my journal entry, which puts me at a comfortable time to finish up and try to sleep. i got another 10 minutes before i hit my target “get ready for bed” time.

my group mates and therapist expressed interest when i let slip that i like to draw on monday. the therapist asked what i draw. i wasn’t sure how to answer... “furries” isn’t really something i wanted to get into. and i haven’t drawn my own characters except for a reference for one of the art trades in a long time. i suppose i should post the uncolored version of that since i scanned it in and haven’t worked on it with the tablet yet.

so i just said “characters and people.” i like landscapes, but i have trouble spending enough time on them to really get into the details. i’m hoping the coloring pages will help loosen up my patience so i might start feeling like spending a million hours on one picture again. it’s been a couple years since i did anything complicated.

i’m thinking about maybe taking my sketch book... but i don’t want to spend a lot of time on explaining what the picture is of when i have more urgent things to work on.

tomorrow i have more things to do! i NEED to work on the welcome packet for ufl. i need to scan in a bunch of stuff, like my immunization records and my doctors’ notes for my refund file. i need to send an email to the preliminary test coordinator to figure out how to proceed with my studying... i need to know how much to panic about this. then after group therapy i need to drop off my sister’s old prescriptions at the police station. that won’t take too long. if i got energy i’d like to organize my desk and maybe also tidy up my room a little bit. write some things down to put in the jar. then i will work on my self esteem journal, continue reading through the self care resources i’ve got open in a million tabs, and work on the coloring page a little bit. that sounds good. and at some point i need to write my 1- to 2-paragraph essay for the refund. and also i gotta email my apartment complex about stuff like the bed size and some cupboard dimensions and whether there’s a microwave and stuff like that. some of those things i’m pretty sure i can just look up somewhere.

i think i can manage those things. the student orientation videos might have to wait until thursday but i can compile the paperwork and read the faqs and stuff. none of these tasks take long by themselves. so as long as i remember to take little breaks and stay motivated i think i can get it done and not have to worry about it so much any more.

ok, it is 12:30, which is only 5 minutes after my target time! i’m gonna do the daily pokemon stuff for 2-3 minutes and then get ready for bed. gotta practice giving myself credit for reaching/working on goals and stuff, even when i don’t want to.

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Tokyo Treat Dec 18

Ironically, I just filled out a survey the other day about this box. Changes will probably be coming to it, but not for a handful of boxes yet considering how far behind I am. If the box does change, I just help I like it~

Meanwhile I still haven’t gotten my delivery. As of tomorrow it’ll have been two weeks since it sent.

“Everyone’s favorite time of year is finally here! The holidays have begun and cheer is flowing throughout the air. It is time to be generous to those around you, give and receive gifts, and to enjoy a good time with those dear to you. With that in mind, we curated a fun holiday Santa’s Snacks box so that you can share a relaxing time snacking on fun holiday themed Japanese snacks with friends and family. We hope you enjoy all the many snacks inspired by Japanese holiday culture and that this month’s snack box warms your heart during this holiday season. Who will you be sharing your snacks this month with? Whomever it is, we hope you have a great holiday!“

So because of pictures, I didn’t include the Lucky Treat or prize pics. The Lucky Treat is entirely Crayon Shin-chan dedicated (I’m not a big fan of that series so I don’t really mind not getting this one...) while the prizes are Vocaloid based. Those I’d have loved to get.

The book also features an article on Christmas traditions in Japan (like ordering KFC), and one on onsen.

Fanta Mango Jelly Drink & DIY

As usual I’ll be covering the DIY in a new topic- only because I do have a handful of pictures and a few choice words...

Okay, so our first item is a jellied, mango Fanta drink. It might be a little strange to have in December, but right now when it’s June it couldn’t be better timing!

Each can is 68kcal, which I think is pretty nice because with it being full of jelly it’s bound to fill you up a bit more than a normal drink would, and if you happen to be weight conscious or don’t want a big meal it could be a good addition to the meal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I feel like if you like mango you’ll love this, but there’s a small chance if you don’t like mango you might still like it. Whatever you do do not smell it >3< maybe it’s just me, but as much as I like mango it always stinks. It’ll taste good but the smell is very unpleasant.

Texture is another thing to take into mind because this drink has it. If you don’t like gelatinous things this might not be something you would consider trying. I love jelly textures though :P

Salty Green Pea Mini Chips & Vegetable Potato Sticks

Next up are two semi-healthy vegetable themed savory snacks! The share pack item are the bags of potato sticks by Calbee, Each bag is only 44kcal and packed with 9 vegetables! You can even see bits of them in each stick.

These I’m pretty sure I’ve had before, but I don’t really remember so i will be rating them just to make sure.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

The flavor is light but it’s there, it doesn’t really taste like one specific vegetable though. It kind of reminds me of a very light, non-breath threatening sour cream and onion. They have a medium-crisp.

Our next item are these mini chips by Bourbon, in salted pea flavor. Every 37 grams (which might be the entire bag) is 1 serving, for a total of 207kcal.

It’s hard to tell in the pic, but they kind of have a faint green coloring.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I didn’t really like these when I first tried them, I didn’t taste anything but some salt. However, the more of them you eat the more the flavor comes through, but oddly they don’t really taste like peas to me (I hate peas so it’s not a big deal), they make me think more of pistachio.

Apple Chocobi & Bourbon Strawberry Chocolate Chips

Okay, you can probably tell by now that Bourbon is kinda featured a lot in the box. Not a big deal though cause they got a lot of variety :3

Our first item in this pic is the Apple-flavored Chocobi. I admit I’m not a huge fan of these, usually because they go stale before I can finish them and they’re too sweet in my opinion. But I do like to try new flavors, and I love apples so I decided to remain open minded about this one.

These are made from apples all the way in Nagano Japan, and this set includes some cute, Crayon Shin-chan stickers in various locations in Japan.The one I got is Kagoshima.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I was very surprised by how tasty these are~ They are sweet but not cloyingly, and they actually taste like real apples, but they kind of remind me of cereal too.

For now, I think these might be my favorite (or at least liked) chocobi :3

Our next item I was very excited to try! I love strawberry chocolate, and chocolate-covered chips are usually-always delicious~

Each pack is 199kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

They pretty much taste like their name “chips covered in strawberry chocolate“, with a hint of salt. It makes me think of eating McDonalds fries with strawberry milk or ice cream actually, but they are delicious!

The flavor might be a bit odd, but I really think it’s good. I want to keep eating them~

Kumamon White Sesame Cracker

Our next item is a dense white sesame cracker, I think it also has a very light glaze and broken up pieces of nut in it. It kind of looks like something you would give a bird doesn’t it?

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I thought it was kind of yummy, I love sesame seeds. But I also feel like I taste a bit of peanut, which I hate. I also didn’t like how dry it left my mouth after eating it. It’s also a little bitter, and sweet.

I feel like this is an “acquired“ item, because I gave a piece of it to my mom and she dislikes sesame seeds. Now, I’ve given her mochi with sesame seeds and she doesn’t seem to hate them, but this she didn’t like at all.

See, it’s unique things like this I wish they gave us more often. Maybe more rice-based products?

Melon Bread Cookies & Burnt Caramel Taiyaki

Next up we have two sweet items, first up being a small cookie based on Melon Pan (bread that resembles a melon. Only some of them actually taste like melon though).

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

I’d say the melon-flavoring is a medium-high in rating, and I think the cookie might be shortbread. I thought it was nice for a bite sized cookie.

The larger item on the side is inspired by a Taiyaki (fish-shaped pancake-like treats filled with cream, jam, or chocolate). This is a popular snack item by meito and is flavored burnt caramel, these specific taiyaki are made from wafer with air popped chocolate inside~!

This specific flavor is 87kcal, and they have a handful of different flavors. As of now, I’ve tried two or three (soon to be four hint hint) of these, they’re so good.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

The black color might look a bit scary at first (or not, I like black so I thought it was kind of fun), but oddly to me it actually smells and tastes a lot like brown sugar and pancakes, I love caramel but I thought this tasted amazing!

I would highly recommend trying this, or any of the others if you can find them!

Bubbly Cola Ramune Candy & Tomato & Cherry Gummies

Okay so... one of these items I was extremely dreading to try. Wanna guess which one?

Our first item here is the cola candy inspired by a real pop. If the picture doesn’t imply anything, this is very foamy. I noticed when sucking on it, the foaming is very slow, and the candy has a teensy bit of sourness. But when you bite into it, it will foam a huge amount! It filled my entire mouth!

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

As I say all the time, I love cola (I’m even drinking coke as I write this) so I really like getting to try the unique cola-flavored Japanese candies. I think these were really fun, and each pack actually has 3 of them in it so these would be a fun candy to share with friends or to give someone if you wanted to play a cute little prank on them ;p

The next item meanwhile... I was terrified of it. It’s our Kinosei (health snack) is a bag of these tomato and cherry gummies. They contain a blend of natural collagen and lycopene to increase ones natural beauty. They also lower blood pressure, refresh the skin, and help ones heart. It’s also naturally refreshing.

Each bag is 94kcal. They are squishy-soft and jelly-like on the inside. They smell strongly of ketchup and sweetness.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I kid you not, each time I smell these I cringe. I HATE tomatoes, but ironically I really like ketchup. Because of this, I was honestly afraid of this, the only reason I tried it was because I figured “it can’t be any worse than that Takoyaki ramune right?“

They’re actually not bad though; I was shook! I can’t really explain the flavor though, it’s like a cross between cherries and the acidicness of ketchup. Does that make sense? They’re have a neutral sweetness to them, and they actually are kind of refreshing. 

A few years ago I saw tomato jelly (basically a jelly tomato) on cold noodles during the summer and thought “what a strange concept“, but now I feel like I understand it a little more...

Bourbon Sylveine Chocolate Cake

To go with the holiday box, of course they had to include a holiday staple- that being a delicious cake! Everyone has a cake on Christmas in Japan, along with the KFC or home-cooked meal. Like a few other items this cake is by the brand Bourbon.

Each cake (or box, I’m not sure) is 102kcal. There are six cakes in total, so you could essentially use this as a dessert for a meal if you wanted :3 The cake is a soft, creamy yellow with thin sections of cream between the layers, and it is covered in chocolate and topped with something. I’m not sure what it is, but it reminds me of a raisin in taste and feel.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

These are delicious- they’re a lot like little snack cakes you can buy at the grocery store, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if these are the Japanese version of them.

The cakes are very soft and squishable, but not soft enough that they can’t be eaten in your hands if you really wanted or had to. But the chocolate is super-melty and a little bit bitter in taste.

I don’t get to have fancy cakes as much as I would like to (nor can I make them just yet...), I couldn’t help but feel fancy eating these cuties~

Oh, and I did share them with my family, don’t worry.

Takoyaki Umaibo & Christmas Pizza Poteko

I was pleasantly delighted by the variety of savory items we got, and surprised too. Our last time items are also savory :D including an Umaibo I’m not going to review because I’ve already had it. 

I will say that I think it’s delicious though- way better than the horrible takoyaki Ramune drink. It doesn’t taste fishy, but I honestly can’t think of how to describe the flavor either. It’s covered in seasoning, and it seems to have a very thin, saucy layer or glaze, matching the sauce Takoyaki is usually covered in.

The last item, which I will review because it’s new is an item we get all the time, Poteko rings. You’ve seen these several times on here, but again, when we have a new flavor I’m more likely to be open-minded, and I was kind of curious because we hardly get pizza-inspired snacks.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

They strongly smell like cheese, but I actually didn’t taste pizza at all. To me (my mom agreed but my dad took some time to agree as well), it tastes like a McDonalds cheeseburger!

Like an exact cheeseburger from McDonalds. Bun, burger, cheese, ketchup, pickle and all. It’s very delicious, but it kind of made me wonder if they make burger flavored snacks...

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. I loved everything! There was also a nice change in that we had a LOT of savory items, and I thought they did well in terms of item variety. There was a bit of each thing.

Theme - 1.5 out of 5. Sadly I thought they did decently with this before, but this year was really lacking. I could feel the spirit on Christmas with the box, but if I didn’t know it was a Christmas box and didn’t get the one item with a Christmas wrapper I wouldn’t have been able to tell it was Christmas themed.

Total Rank: 9 out of 10. An awesome box, one of the best to have gotten I thought. All they had to do was focus more on the Christmas theme they were going for and I think it could have been a perfect 10.

♥ Cutie’s Scale of Yummy ♥

1. Burnt Caramel Taiyaki - Like I said, I’m not sure it tasted like caramel. But I really liked it! If I see it online I’ll definitely be buying it, I just hope the next one I get tastes as good, if not better~

2. Chocolate Cake - I’m glad we got six of these because they are very delicious~ My dad and I loved them, but my mom was less receptive since it reminded her of dark chocolate. 

3. Strawberry chocolate chips - I like em, what more can i say :D

4. Takoyaki Umaibo - I may not be able to describe the flavor well but this one is a winner!

5. Mango Jelly Drink - I really liked this, but as I already warned- try not to smell mango items. They will either smell delicious, or like feet. 

6. Cola Candy - I love cola, I love pop, I think fizzy candy is fun to try; I was a little surprised they were kind of sour though.

7. Apple Chocobi - Again, I was surprised by how much I actually liked these. Only because I’ve never been into Chocobi that much. They don’t taste bad, but I gotta remember to eat these before they go south (stale).

8. Pizza Poteko - I’m still convinced they taste like cheeseburgers, but they are good :P

9. Tomato & Cherry Gummies - I was really surprised by these!  

10. Melon Bread Cookie - It was okay. I like melon, but for some reason I’m not too into melon-flavored baked goods. I love melon candy and drinks.

11. Potato Sticks - They don’t have a huge amount of taste but I still like them enough. I like the texture too.

12. Peas Mini Chips -  They weren’t bad, I just like other items more. 

13. Sesame Cracker - I really did like it, but I wasn’t too crazy about the desert left in my mouth after eating it... 

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Tokyo Treat May 2017

Here we go Cuties, the second official crate beneath the “rebranding” of Tokyo Treat! I loved this crate to begin with, but the fact it’s grown BIGGER and comes much sooner only made me much more excited~

This months theme is.... Spring Fever ♥

After I started to write this, it occurred to me that I forgot to take the pictures of the Lucky Treat items, as well as the Prize Items of the month, so I’ll cover this really quick for anyone curious:

The prize items include a Totoro Bud Vase and Totoro Watering Can, along with the 3-month subscription. The runner-ups gain 1-month subscription and a Totoro mug ♥ Meanwhile, Lucky Treat included a variety of Miku Hatsune goods, tokyo milk treats, apparel, Pikachu plushes, two mario items, and a full gachapon set!

As usual I start with the items I don’t eat/use in the post. That includes the Hana Kappa DIY Gummy Kit, which I will cover in a separate post and am very excited to get to because this is another one I wanted to try and just never bought yet. With it is the little trinket/toy item of the month: a Calimero Mobile Phone Strap. These little guys are special, because they are exclusive to specific Japan souvenir shops. There was 4 possible styles to get and they are about 3.5 mm in height. It’s cute, but I do have to admit that I won’t be using it on my phone. It’s just not what I’m into, so I’d rather keep him as a collectable item.

The one item from this pic I will review is the drink however, a Nectar Peach & Cherry Blossom Juice. A special edition Fujiya Nectar drink made from white peach puree and embedded with the extract from a cherry blossom flower. Also, you are warned to shake well before opening, and if anyone is curious, it has 170 calories. So in terms of the healthiness scale, it’s about the same level as drinking a pepsi.

In terms of flavor, it’s... strange. It smelled so familiar to me, it took me a few minutes to register why that was. It smells, and tastes a little like the Sakura Mochi Tirol Choco, I tried a few months back. Upon first sip I find myself repelled from it, but as the flowery taste fades, you’re left with a peach-cherry fruity taste, which is pleasant. I also like how smooth the drink itself is, although I’m not sure I actually like the drink itself. 3 out of 5.

As usual, I enjoy trying to group together my items. So here we have the 2 kitkat sets and pocky. You may notice the mess in the center of the plate- which is the result of trying to make the Baked KitKat - Butter Cookie. I’d like to point out that it looked right when I turned off the toaster oven, but it took me so long to get to it... it burnt and fell apart when I tried to remove it.

For anyone curious, it did taste good despite that. It does contain 0.17% alchohol though, and is a total of 64 calories. They do taste like a butter cookie though, and the taste gets a bit stronger the more you eat. I’m not really sure how I prefer these, given the one I ate was fairly charred in comparison to the non-baked one.The texture is a little grainy, but I assume it’s for that baking feature. 3.5 out of 5.  

Next is the KitKat Winter Edition Everyday Luxury. They come in a variety of chocolate, and white chocolate, and each are adorned with almonds and cranberry. Also note that the white has 38 calories, while the regular has 39. The white chocolate also contains 0.36% alchohol and is scented like rum.

The black kitkat is a little bitter in taste, but with the crunch of almond and cranberry, it tastes pretty decent. The white chocolate one meanwhile, I noticed you pretty much just taste the almond and cranberry, but I don’t hate it. I give the both/set 4 out of 5.

Lastly is the Pocky Mild Milk Cocoa, a brand new pocky recently released boasting the lack of artificial-anything. There are 136 calories in the little box, and as you can see, the sticks are chocolate as well. The taste is light and lacks artificial sweetness, but it isn’t actually bad. As much as I love sweets, sometimes it’s nice to have something toned down. 3.5 out of 5.

I hope you didn’t think we were done with the chocolate yet, cause this is part 2  ♥ I’ll start with something most of us Cuties know well. The Taiyaki Chocolate Monoka. A wafer snack that I have had a few times on this blog (the previous one was a panda shape, the time before that it was a square with a One Piece sticker). The outside wafer itself is thin and cripsy, while the airy chocolate inside is so light ♥ definitely 5 out of 5. Meanwhile, the 7stick pack included in the Dagashi is very similar, but the chocolate flavor is somewhat bitter, but I like it, 4 out of 5.

Following this, we also got a little box of Doraemon Chocolate Snack, celebrating the upcoming release of Doraemon’s latest movie at 112.4 calories. Right away this reminded me of cereal, and they suggest you can eat it as is, or after chilling it in the fridge. It still reminds me of cereal, although it tastes a little better than most chocolate cereal. I still have some left and noticed it also tastes like the caramel corn product I reviewed a few times on the blog. It isn’t bad, but the longer you keep them, the more stale they taste. Again like cereal :D 4 out of 5. They’re okay.

Next are two unique items (as well as the two items I wasn’t sure how I felt about after eating). First is the Melonpan Mini-Cookies, based on what else, Melon Bread. They definitely taste like melon, and while I like Melon, I didn’t like these cookies much... I’m not really sure why, but I could just barely finish the first one. After that I didn’t want anymore. 2.5 out of 5.

Next is the very unique Waraku No Sato Yokan, which is a treat made from red bean paste, sugar, and agar. They have been around for a long time now and can be eaten with green tea, or even found with nuts or fruit in them sometimes. It has 167 calories in it. It pretty much tastes like a jelly cube with a bean texture. It is very soft too, and I loved squishing it ♥ 3.5 out of 5.

Now, after the rich, savory treats I thought it’d be best to head to the sweeter, mostly-softer sweets ♥ I’ll start with the item I didn’t like too much, that being the Green Apple flavored lollipop candy, part of the Dagashi set. It’s a cute little spiraled ring pop you can play with and eat. I’m not sure you can tell, but in the picture I have it on my pinky finger. I really like lollipops, but this is pretty much artificial green apple coated sugar. 3 out of 5.

Following the green lollipop, we have the green GOTCHI Kiwi Gummy. A chewy gummy of 162 calories with a sour sugar coating. I really like these! I can’t say its entirely accurate to the flavor of a real kiwi, but it isn’t that far off? 4 out of 5.

Lastly is the ultra-cute Shake Shake Yogurty Fruit Gummies ♥ What makes these popular is that you can eat them as is, or put them in the pack and add the yogurt powder provided with it. Either way they’re delicious! They come in orange, strawberry (which the booklet says is apple), and pineapple, and I admit the texture is a little odd, they feel dried out, but squishy. But I really like their taste, especially with the yogurt powder (which tastes like most Japanese yogurt flavored things). 5 out of 5!

(If you want to see more of these then don’t worry, I got another pack of it in my Kawaii Box~)

We’re approaching the last few items now Cuties, First is the Sankaku Crackers, a cute little tray of triangle, flavored crackers that taste like a garden/vegetable blend flavor of cracker or chip, which I actually really like despite how much I dislike regular vegetables. They’re also soft and generally pleasant to snack on. 4.5 out of 5. 

Also from the Dagashi pack is the Chibeans, these ultra-cute little green crispy snacks that look like bean pods ♥ They’re so cute, I almost didn’t want to eat them (for the first ten minutes or so, then I got over it). Their taste is unique, but... pretty much what you would expect from it? I’m not even sure how to describe it. 5 out of 5 though.

Last in this picture is the Baby Star Panmen Olive & Salt Flavor, a noodle snack made from bread dough. I suppose I kinda get that salt flavor, but I can’t say I notice the olive very much. Even my mom, who hates olives ended up enjoying it. To me, I was reminded a little of the chicken broth in cheap ramen cups. They’re actually soft too, which I like because it’s easier on my mouth. 4.5 out of 5.

Now, here we are at our final item of the blog! Yet another umaibo, whose flavor I actually don’t know. Mayonnaise and shrimp are shown on the wrapper though, and it pretty much tastes like that. As usual, Umaibo manages to surprise me and win me over. I like the taste of mayonnaise, but I’m not big on sea-food (unless you count sushi), but the flavoring on this is light enough that it didn’t bother me at all. 4.5 out of 5.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Quality - 4 out of 5. Everything was fine, and I found myself pretty much liking everything in some manner, but I also gave most items a mid-low ranking. So...

Content - 3.5 out of 5. There is a theme (as mentioned above), but I’m not sure how well it was followed. I did enjoy the products, but usually when they put effort into the themes they normally do very well. I can’t say I really felt Spring in this.

Total Rank: 7.5 out of 10 Cuties! I didn’t like this one as much as I did the past box, but I did enjoy it a great deal. I’m kinda hoping we get a little more variety, or at least a closer theme match next time. 

♥ Cutie’s Scale of Yummy ♥

(While writing this review I had a terrible migraine, because of this I decided not to include the usual CSoY. I apologize to anyone who might actually read them, but working with head pain is not fun.) Okay Cuties, that does it for this review! Until next time, stay cute!