#I love how I said I’d crank out like four more of these but I am lying liar who lies

[awzominator]

Bringer of hope, of change, of the promise of a new day burning bright on the horizon

[slippinmickeys]

Totality

Fiona made me write an eclipse fic.

Scully gently shut the door behind her, the crisp blue duffle with leather handles in her grip; the go-bag she always left in her car, just in case. It had been a just-in case, Mulder had to admit. They’d had to fly to Idaho with no time to pack, and had worked a grueling five days straight on a series of local murders with only enough time to catch maybe four hours of sleep a night and pop into a shabby JC Penneys once for more underwear. They were both overworked, overtired, and their suits–of which each of them only had two–were overworn; ripe with the scents of stale sweat and stale coffee and stale eau de morgue. 

Scully looked weary as she handed over the bag to where Mulder stood in front of their rental car’s open trunk. 

“How far away is the airport again?” she asked, squinting up at him as he deposited her bag next to his and slammed the trunk closed. 

“Only about an hour,” he answered, mentally girding himself for what he was about to tell her. “But, I uh,” he went on, “pushed back our flights to this evening.”

Her posture visibly slumped. “You…what?” 

Mulder bit his lip, hoping he hadn’t made a horrible miscalculation. He knew she wanted nothing more than to get home, slide into a hot bath and pull the covers over her head for three straight days. She’d certainly earned it. 

“Hop in the car,” he said, moving to the driver’s side door. “I have a surprise.”

He was exhausted himself, his nerves shot. He was running on caffeine and cortisol, his skeleton rattling with every step. But this…she would like this. He was sure of it. 

“Mulder,” she said wearily, a whine in her voice that he’d rarely had the opportunity to hear. But she said nothing more and reluctantly dropped into the passenger seat, leaning her head against the headrest and rolling it to look at him beseechingly after she’d clicked her seat belt on. 

Mulder turned the ignition and the sedan growled to life under them. 

“It’s a good surprise,” he assured her. 

She only sighed, and they bumped out of the hotel parking lot and onto town’s main drag, the sun shining on the shabby line of depressing suburbia. Ten minutes and five stop lights later, Mulder pulled into the mostly empty parking lot of a dying mall, the tires popping over stray gravel and broken glass. He cranked the wheel and the car swung over the cracked asphalt in front of a defunct Frederick & Nelson, turning in a reflex angle and stopping when the sun shone in full through the windshield. He killed the engine. 

Scully opened her mouth to say something, but he reached into the inner pocket of his suit coat and pulled out a couple scraps of cardboard, handing one over before she could voice a complaint. 

It took her a moment to register what he was handing her. 

“Eclipse glasses?” she said, sitting up a little in her seat. 

Mulder had found the black polymer lenses next to the cash register at a local coffee shop that morning, the bespectacled co-ed working it disinterestedly telling him he could have two pairs for a dollar. 

The upcoming eclipse had been in the news recently, but he’d mostly ignored it–back east it would only be partial at best, the path of totality only hitting the Pacific Northwest and parts of Canada. Four murders and a rough case later, he hadn’t given it another thought. Until that morning in the coffee shop. 

“We’re in the path of totality here,” he explained. “We’ll only get it for about a minute and ten seconds according to the local newspaper, but I thought you might like to see it.”

A look Mulder couldn’t read crossed over her face and he swallowed.

“The next full eclipse over North America won’t be until 2017,” he went on nervously. “I can probably change the tickets back if you-”

Scully reached out and put a warm hand on his arm, cutting him off. 

“I’d love to see it,” she said delicately. “Thank you.”

Despite the dark smudges under her eyes, the soft smile she gave him quieted any lingering apprehension about his decision, and he gave her a smile back. 

“I figured we could get on the hood, lean against the windshield,” he said.

“What time does it start?” she asked, popping her wrist out from her sleeve to look at her watch. 

“In about five minutes,” he grinned. 

Scully fingered the glasses and then opened her car door. Energized, Mulder did the same. 

“I ask you to avert your eyes,” he said drolly, putting a hand on the warm hood of the car before awkwardly lumbering his way on top of it, the metal plane thumping loudly under him as it dented to accommodate his weight and then popped back into place. 

Scully, opting to watch, looked on primly. 

Once he was settled, he held out a hand. 

“Milady,” he said, and she settled her warm palm onto his, grabbing on while she put a foot on top of the tire and dexterously swung herself up next to him. 

“Nimble,” he complimented her, reluctantly letting go of her hand. 

She shrugged and leaned back gingerly against the windshield, mindful of the smear of desiccated bugs across the face of it. 

“Here, wait,” Mulder said. He sat up quickly and peeled off his suit coat, rolling it into a ball to tuck behind her head, pillow-like. 

“Thanks,” she said quietly. 

“Don’t mention it.” 

Mulder could feel something ineffable pass between them. He coughed once awkwardly, and then pressed his eclipse glasses to his face, the sharp cardboard edge digging into the skin behind his ear. 

“How do I look?” he asked. 

“Like a dork,” Scully said, delicately donning her own, in, Mulder hoped, solidarity. 

She looked nothing like a dork, Mulder thought, eyeing the sharp lines of her face. She looked like a space girl, sleek and silver, an otherworldly beauty. 

He cleared his throat. “So do you.”

Scully’s face was tilted to the sky and he turned to follow her gaze. 

“It’s starting,” she said, her voice a little irreverent. 

Mulder looked at the sun, dark through polymer lenses of the protective eyewear. The moon was just beginning to edge itself in front of its celestial sister; incremental, pendulous. 

Lacking the pillow he’d given Scully, he raised his arms up and bent his elbows, resting his head back against cupped hands. Beside him, Scully breathed serenely.  He caught a whiff of his fusty clothing and hoped his jacket had fared better in the olfactory department than his shirt. 

They were silent for long minutes, watching the gradual procession of moon across sun. The day was bright but began to take on a verging luminosity, and Mulder raised his glasses up to take a look at the dark shadow of the car under them, which took on an off-putting sharpness against the dusty asphalt. 

“What do you think ancient peoples made of solar eclipses?” came Scully’s voice, a little dreamy. “What must they have thought?”

It was an invitation to oratory. A small gift. Mulder smiled. 

“Cultures throughout the world had wildly different theories,” he said, and Scully turned her head towards him, her eyes hidden behind the dark lenses. “Most of them, obviously, wildly incorrect.” Despite the fact that he couldn’t see her eyes, her look was encouraging. 

“The sun being devoured was popular,” he went on. “From the Norse mythology of Sköll,” at this she smiled. “To Asian cultures like in Java and Vietnam that variously had creatures or monsters swallowing the sun. It was commonly held in ancient China that a celestial dragon attacked and devoured it. Here in the Northwest, the Pomo people’s name for a solar eclipse is ‘Sun got bit by a bear.’”

The bear, Mulder mused, was widening its jaw. It was getting gradually darker, and he could feel the temperature start to dip. He put his glasses back on and looked back at the sun. 

“The Inca and Ancient Greek believed eclipses were a sign of a wrathful and unhappy god.”

Scully hummed. “The word ‘eclipse’ comes from the Greek word meaning ‘abandonment.’”

“Right,” Mulder said, “though I think I prefer mythologies of a more solicitous nature.”

Scully raised her glasses to give him a look. “Solicitous?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Mulder couldn’t help his grin. “In Australian oral traditions, the moon falls in love with the sun and chases her across the sky. If caught, the sun plunges the world into darkness. Medicine men recite magical chants to combat the evil omen. In German mythology, the sun and the moon are married. One rules the day while the other the night. When the moon is lonely, he’s drawn to his bride and they come together to create a solar eclipse.”

She looked at him frankly. “You know a weird amount about eclipses.”

“I like to impress you.”

“Is this why you were so late getting back to the hotel this morning? Research? My coffee was cold.”

“But are you impressed?”

“I wasn’t impressed by the coffee…”

Mulder gave her a long look, the odd light turning her hair a hazy copper wool.

“I like the German one best,” she finally said, plunking her glasses back on and leaning back to gaze at the sky. 

“Me too,” Mulder said. 

More long minutes of silence between them with the occasional car whooshing past on the roadway. Mall security drove by them slowly and Mulder gave the rent-a-cop a small salute. It was impossible to see Scully with the glasses on, so he kept taking them off. 

“You’re going to permanently burn your macula,” Scully said from beside him, not taking her eyes off the welkin of the heavens above them. 

He ran his eyes over the brushstroke of freckles on her nose. She was goddess-like; as luminous as a star. If he was the moon, he’d chase her through the sky, too. 

“You lose enough photoreceptors you won’t pass your next firearms recertification.”

He was tempted to tell her that in all the years he’d known her, her shine hadn’t damaged anything but his poor, lonely heart, but pulled his glasses back down and looked to the sun. It was nearly covered.

He sighed and felt her hand reach for his. His heart beat hard once against his sternum. 

“You can take them off during the totality,” she said, squeezing. “And should. It’s supposed to be incredible.”

“You ever seen it?” He asked her quietly. She was still holding onto his hand. 

“I missed the one in ‘79.”

“Me too,” he said. 

Around them, the air had taken on a distinct chill and the light shining down had grown metallic. Next to the car, in the long shadows of the trees along the edge of the mall driveway appeared little crescents. The colors on the mall’s signage dimmed and brightened. Mulder sat up and pulled his glasses off and blinked, shaking his head. The world felt odd, he couldn’t properly adjust his vision. It felt decidedly like the moment after someone takes your picture with a bright flash.

Scully still held his hand and squeezed it. 

“It’s called the Purkinje effect,” she said calmly, pulling off her own glasses with her other hand, and looking around with a wondrous smile. “As we near totality and the light dims, our eyes transition from photopic vision–which uses the retina’s cone cells to deliver full colors and fine detail–toward scotopic night vision, which relies on rod cells to detect objects in low light. When the light’s intensity dims in an eclipse, colors with longer wavelengths like red will look darker as the cones become less active. But rods are sensitive to shorter blue-green wavelengths, and those colors will appear to shine. It’s not just you. It’s the rod and cone cells in your eyes trying to make sense of the sudden dimness.”

Scully put her glasses back on and looked up at the eclipse. Mulder felt a surge of something so like love that his eyes burned. 

Scully pulled in a sudden inhale of breath. 

“The totality,” she said, pulling off her glasses and gazing up. “It’s starting.”

Mulder raised his eyes to the heavens. The world was dusk-like, the stars in the top of the dome of the heavens were winking on. In the bushes nearby, crickets began to chirp. 

The eclipse itself was like nothing he’d seen before outside of a big budget movie. The moon was utter blackness, but along the upper edge of the eclipsed sun was a hot pink half-ring that erupted into a single bring spot along the edge of the moon’s shadow like the diamond in a giant engagement ring formed by the rest of the sun’s atmosphere.

And then the flaming plasma of corona as the moon reached complete totality. Second contact. It was a living thing. Streams of white light danced around the ring of the black moon. Scully gasped in pleasure and Mulder couldn’t help but exclaim: “Wow!”

He pulled his eyes from the eclipse itself and looked around. Along the entire horizon, all 360 degrees of it, was in full, brilliant sunset. Everything else was the darkness of post golden-hour. He turned toward his partner and locked eyes with her. Her smile was brilliant, and she held his gaze for only a moment before canting her face back to the eclipse itself. 

“This is incredible,” she said breathlessly. 

He had found, as the years of their partnership wound on, that their job turned them into ecstatics, subject to mystical experiences. This was perhaps the most transcendent of them all. He would remember the moment forever. 

 “It is,” he agreed. 

A sharp flash, and Scully squeezed his hand. 

“Third contact,” she said. “Put your glasses back on.”

He did as she asked, and they leaned back and watched in silence as the moon continued its journey, as the sky relit and the nighttime animals calmed, as the world came back to itself. 

Eventually, Scully sat up. The light was still odd, seeming to come almost from inside her, and she lowered her glasses and leaned in to him. For a heady, divine moment, Mulder thought she was about to kiss him, but instead she pressed her cool lips to his cheek, her hair falling down to brush along the skin of his jaw. 

“Thank you, Mulder,” she said, and then straightened, the cool air rushing to fill the space she’d just been. 

“You’re welcome, Scully,” he said, his voice a little rough. He lowered his glasses slowly and watched her slide off the hood of the car, watched her stretch and smile to herself; a Mona Lisa grin gently stretching the planes of a face with the same faultless symmetry of the celestial bodies sliding across the sky.

[chimini3]

MAKEUP THE BREAK UP

Park Jimin | Chapter 1

SERIES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Park Jimin x OC

Synopsis: What happens when Park Jimin’s biggest what if comes back into his life? His friendly neighbor, childhood best friend, high school lover, and now his makeup artist?! Amidst the 2020 outbreak, the last thing he needed was Seong Areum making his heart skip a beat and fill his stomach with air. What will he do when unspoken words threaten to slip past his tongue? Would he take the chance of ruining a healing past? Or would he let her slip away once more and let himself get lost in the lights?

Warnings: just me not knowing how to write how children act, inaccurate timeline (I’m pretty sure Jimin said the toilet incident happened when he was 5 but in here its when he’s 10), not beta read

Word Count: 7.4k words

The Years I Knew You

[2000]

“Eumi, Aaron! Come here!” My mother called and I cranked my neck from the makeup kit I was applying on my life-size Barbie head.

I walked out of the room I shared with my older brother before looking towards the hallway to the living room, my eyes meeting my older brother’s as he waited for me to catch up with him before we both showed our presence to our mother.

“Yes, Eomma?” I answered as we synchronously peaked our heads out of the doorway to see the guests that sat on the living room couch.

“Aaron, Areum, meet our neighbors the Parks!” My mother smiled widely as we walked towards her to be in a better view for the family.

Two parents who seemed the same age as my parents and two boys who also seemed to be roughly the same age as me though younger than my brother.

“Hello there! These are my two boys, Jimin and JiHyun!” The mother smiled brightly at me and my brother and I sent her a soft smile back before greeting the two boys a smile too.

“The Park’s are going to eat dinner here, so why don’t you four play in your room while we get the food ready.” My mother ushered the four of us to the hallway and my brother led the way to our bedroom as the two boys seemed to have their own conversation from behind me.

“Woah! Dragon Ball comics!”

I turned to the two boys as the younger one of the two had his jaw dropped and both of them looked at my brother’s comic collection wide-eyed.

“Yeah, my dad collected them before and gave them to me!” My brother smiled brightly as the younger boy quickly walked towards my brother and closer to the wooden bookcase with the collection of comics.

I can see the older one glance at me first before also walking towards my brother as they started talking about the comic series.

“You guys like comics?” My seven year old brother asked as he seemed to enjoy the same interest as the boys younger than him.

“Yeah! Appa said he’d let us join Taekwondo when we’re older.” The older one spoke proudly as it was now my brother’s turn to show his adoring wide eyes.

I smiled at the boys standing on one side of the room near the bookshelf as I walked back to my side of the room and sat on the floor to continue my game of Barbie makeup.

I articulately placed the shimmery pinks and purples on the eyelids of my life size barbie head. I treated her as though she was one of my Eomma’s salon customers.

Usually when my brother had school and my Appa had work at the construction site, then I’d accompany my Eomma to the salon she worked at down the street. I’d watch her and her colleagues turn black hair to rainbows like magic, color nails with paint, and the best part was that they would also apply colorful crayons to the eyelids and lips of their client to make them pretty and look like fairies.

I loved the salon, though I rarely go there now as I started going to kindergarten last year.

“Woah, Barb-bee!”

I saw the younger Park before I heard him speak. His hands flew towards the perfectly combed hair of my Barbie head before he flung it around in the air.

I heard myself shriek as I looked in horror at my beautiful Barbie head getting messed up and dented at some areas. I tried to pull the doll away from the younger Park's hands but the struggle only made it worse.

I can hear a yell of ‘stop’ before the younger park finally lets go of my Barbie head doll after flinging it across the room.

I didn’t even make an attempt to walk towards it as I slumped my body further into the carpeted floor. Salty tears slipped past my eyelids as I sat defeated.

“JiHyun! Look what you did! Say sorry to Noona.”

I heard the older Park scold the younger as Aaron picked up the doll and turned his back to obstruct my view of him trying to fix it.

“Say sorry, go on.”

“Sawrey noon-ah.”

His baby teeth showed as he tried to apologize.

I felt one last tear slide down my cheek before wiping it away. The boy only looked a year younger than me so he was probably still learning how to be kind to others in kindergarten, like how I learned it last year. I remember it being very difficult to know when I was in the wrong, especially when I didn’t mean to do things that hurt someone else’s feelings, so I understand that the younger must’ve not meant to do it.

“It’s okay. I forgive you. Just don’t do it again, okay?” I sent a soft smile to the younger Park as his arms went to wrap around my neck. He started leaning his weight on me to stand up from the floor and I almost toppled over from his weight though thankfully the older Park had already helped his younger brother stand up and take most of the weight off me.

“What happened here? We heard screaming.” The Park Ahjumma stood at the door with furrowed brows as the four of us looked towards her.

“Eomma, JiHyun broke Areum ssi’s doll.” The older Park snitched as the woman came inside the room and took the younger Park in her arms.

“I think it's time for JiHyun ssi to eat his dinner.” The woman cooed before walking out the door.

My brother placed a still-dented and broken Barbie head doll on the floor in front of me as he sent me a sad smile.

“Sorry Eumi ah, I tried to fix it. I’ll ask Appa to see how we can fix it, or if he can fix it.” Aaron acted on his idea of fixing the situation quickly as he soon walked out the room in search of our father.

I looked at my wrecked Barbie doll in front of me. Her supposed straight blonde hair was sticking out in different directions, and the small braids that I learned to do on her hair were missing and were replaced with chunks of flesh-colored plastic and holes where the strands should’ve been. Her toy makeup was smudged, and her face had dents where the younger Park’s fingers pressed too hard and when she collided against the brown wood instead of the carpeted floor.

“I’m really sorry about JiHyun. He just turned three so he’s still learning to not touch other people’s stuff.” The older Park that I now know is named Jimin apologized.

“It’s okay, I also just learned about it last year. I understand.” I sent him a smile though a slight frown remained on his lips.

“How old are you?” He asked randomly.

“I’m four! How about you, Jimin?” I smiled as I waved my four fingers at him.

“I’m five. I thought I had to call you noona.” He laughed though I didn’t really understand what he meant by ‘noona’. My name wasn’t noona. I was Areum. Seong Areum.

He must’ve noticed my lack of response as he spoke again with another topic on his tongue.

“I can’t fix your doll, but if you want then you can do your makeup on me.”

He was hesitant at speaking his idea of making the situation better for me though I smiled at his idea and turned to face him as he read my expression and sat down on the carpet beside me.

I turned to the toy vanity table I had and took the glittery pink comb and started to run it through his short black hair. I even had to stand up and squat to properly comb out the top and sides of his head.

Once I thought it was thoroughly combed I started picking out strands from in front of his head and tried to separate them into three parts to twist them together like Eomma taught me to do braids though his hair was too short to twist into the pattern I wanted. His hair was so short in fact that it didn’t even cover his forehead like the bangs I had in front of my forehead. The hair behind his head also wasn’t as long as the hair that reached my shoulders. His hair was weird and not like my Barbie.

“Jimin… I can’t braid your hair.” I frowned as he turned his head to look up at me and his eyes squinted to the point of disappearing because of how big his smile was.

“Of course Areum! I have shorter hair.” He giggled and I couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

[2002]

“Jiminie look! I have a baby sister, like you now!” I smiled brightly as I saw the Park brothers enter my mother’s hospital room.

My father greeted both parents whilst Jimin and JiHyun quickly dodged the adults and walked towards the hospital crib that kept the newest Seong member.

“No, not like me. You have a baby sister now, I have a baby brother.” Jimin corrected me as we both looked at the baby in the crib whilst our parents talked.

“She looks like me in my old pictures!” JiHyun piped up and I was taken by surprise at how much he progressed from the three weeks where I couldn’t see the Park brothers.

“No, she looks like Eumi.” Jimin corrected his brother.

“See how much bigger her eyes are, and she already has a mole on her nose like the mole on Eumi’s nose and Aaron’s chin.” Jimin added and I suddenly felt a sense of unexplainable embarrassment from having moles on my skin. Though Jimin was always an observative one and so he quickly added on what he meant.

“Moles are cute. It makes your face memorable. I like your moles Eumi. I like your face too, it’s very pretty so don’t worry.” Jimin hugged me and I hugged him back.

“Her name is Ahnna. Seong Ahnna. Do you want to hold her?” Aaron came up behind us with little warning as we turned to look at him, though in my peripheral vision, I can see JiHyun losing interest and going over to his parents.

“I am holding her, look.” I smiled as I reached my hand out to hold my baby sister’s hand.

“No, I meant to carry her!” Aaron looked annoyed though took my lack of quick response as a yes and called our father over.

“Appa! Eumi and Jimin want to hold Ahnna!”

The rest of the adults looked towards our direction as our father sent me a soft smile.

“What?! I— Eumi wants to hold Ahnna! I’ll jus—-just watch.” Jimin slowly backed away though one look at the slight frown face and he seemed to have a change of mind.

“Come on Minie! I can’t carry a baby alone!”

Jimin sighed loudly before nodding to me and coming up next to my side on the crib. He’s always like this. For some reason, I always end up getting what I wanted when it involves him.

“You won’t carry her, Eumi. I’ll just lay her on your lap.

My father gestured for both me and Jimin to sit on the sofa beside him. I hesitantly sat down as Jimin sat down beside me, big eyes doubting his participation.

“Jimin, have you carried JiHyun when he was a baby?” My father asked as he stood up and carefully picked up baby Ahnna in his arms.

“Yes, I did when I was two.”

“Well then, this should be easier for you since you’re all grown up now. How old are you now?”

I could see a new confidence arise from Jimin’s face as he turned to me with a small smile.

“I’m seven now. Let’s not worry Eumi. If you can’t carry Ahnna alone then I’ll be here to share the weight with you. We’re strong now because six and seven are bigger than two!” His smile grew to one of his signature smiles. Teethy and made his eyes curve into crescent moons, the one that is so contagious that I can’t help myself but show my toothy smile too.

“Slowly.” My mother warned, though I can see her reach for her phone, though Jimin’s mom already thought ahead and offered to take a picture for her instead.

My father lowered baby Ahnna down to the sofa and onto our laps. I tensed under her weight though my father guided my left hand to support the head. When my father let go it wasn’t as heavy nor scary as I thought. Ahnna was calm as she was wrapped in her pink blanket.

I looked towards Jimin, careful to not move the rest of my body.

“You okay?” Jimin asked as his right hand rested on Ahnna’s foot.

“Yeah.”

My answer was short as I was interrupted by a yawn from the baby. I placed a finger on my lips as I looked at Jimin first before looking at the rest of the people in the room.

“Shhh. Baby Ahnna is sleepy.” I warned them as bright smiles lit up across the adults and Aaron.

I continued to watch Ahnna slowly succumb to sleep as the adults started going back to their conversations though I knew my dad was keeping an eye on me and the baby.

“Jimin.”

“Yes, Areum?” He answered without missing a beat.

“This is so cool! I’m going to be the best older sister I can be!” I smiled as I turned to him.

“You already are!” He smiled back.

The Park’s stayed at the hospital longer than I expected. I was growing more restless and tired these days, so imagine my surprise when I woke up and saw Jimin asleep on the sofa with me. Aaron was nowhere to be seen along with Appa, but JiHyun and Jimin’s parents were still here along with JiHyun who was sitting on his mother’s lap on the other sofa whilst watching the cartoons that played on the TV.

“We can’t support three kids like this.”

I heard my mom sound defeated as I stayed still to not wake up Jimin.

“What are you planning to do?” Jimin’s mother asked.

“Juwon has family in America. We’re thinking that it would be better if he goes out with Aaron since he’s turning ten next year and I’ll be left to focus on taking care of Areum and Ahnna.” My mother explained.

I didn’t fully understand it. I heard America is a place far-far away. One of my classmates, Eunji, is from America. She said her grandpa went there first to work hard for his family in Daegu then their whole family went to America where she was born. However, they all came back to Busan because they missed their home.

If Appa and Aaron are going to America then wouldn’t they miss home too?

I don’t get it.

But I didn’t need to ask any more questions as less than a month after baby Ahnna was born, my parents explained to me and Aaron about the decisions they made.

Appa goes to America first before bringing Aaron with him a month later, after he is finished with Year 4 so that Aaron gets to study abroad. They even proposed the idea of all of us moving to America once everything was settled, but I didn’t want to move. That would mean that I had to leave my friends, my school, my toys, Jimin, and the Parks.

But my parents were left with no choice, they said. Appa was offered this job by his boss since their construction company was going to close and Eomma said that her job at a salon wouldn’t be enough for us.

I cried.

I cried because I was lonely. I felt alone.

Aaron had gone to America and I had the room all to myself but I still didn’t dare to move anything on Aaron’s side of the room. Eomma was busy with Ahnna. Ahnna gets sick often so I was usually left with the Parks, but I didn’t play with Jimin and JiHyun much. Jimin was busy with studying hard, he was one of the smartest students in the school! JiHyun was preoccupied with his Kindergarten activities.

Tonight was a night when Eomma called to say that she was staying with Ahnna at the hospital, so I was going to sleep with the Parks. Thankfully it was a weekend so they wouldn’t have to go through the hassle of preparing all three of us for school.

“Areum, you’ll sleep in Jimin and JiHyun’s room. Is that okay for you?” Jimin’s mom crouched down in front of me as we stood in the hallway in front of Jimin and JiHyun’s room.

I nodded as I hugged my soft brown teddy bear.

“Jimin! JiHyun!” The woman called as she opened the door for me to enter the boy’s room.

It was almost identical to Aaron and my room. Though it wasn’t a surprise as the units in the apartment were all identical, but it still hurts to see such a lively room shared by two siblings and I had no one to share such a spacious room for one me.

“Share JiHyun’s bed ya? Areum will sleep on Jimin’s bed.” The woman’s authoritative voice made the boy's nod synchronously.

Jimin moved his bright blue blanket off his bed and placed it on top of JiHyun’s bed. I walked towards Jimin’s bed and placed my teddy bear on his deep chocolate-colored sheets.

“Here’s an extra blanket we have.” Jimin spoke up whilst going to the drawer and pulling out a striped beige and brown blanket. He placed it neatly folded on the end of the bed before a cheeky smile crept up his lips.

“Wanna play tag?” Jimin smiled at me and although I wanted to rest, there was no way I could say no to his grin.

“You’re it!”

Jimin and JiHyun ran across the room as I chased behind them. My worries slipped to the back of my mind as I tagged JiHyun and immediately ran back towards the corner of the room Jimin was at.

The youngest Park with a determined face came running at us and Jimin and I went in two different directions leaving JiHyun the power on who he’d chased down, and to make it fair he had to chase Jimin around.

“JiHyun! Let’s form an alliance! Go for Areum!” Jimin ran around screaming before tumbling down to the carpet where Jihyun tagged him and ran back to the furthest corner of the room.

“Eumi, here I come!” Jimin warned before going straight in my direction.

It felt like I was running laps like the runners I see on TV by how much energy I exerted in running around the room a good two and a half times. I’m pretty sure Jimin had the power to simply chase the slower JiHyun, but his chase for me was never ending.

“Ohh Areum! I know you’re getting tired!” Jimin taunted, and I couldn’t deny it as I grew breathless the more steps I took. My eyes settled on Jimin's bed and the blanket that lay neatly folded in it. I had one last idea to keep Jimin off my tail.

I ran towards the bed and grabbed the blanket as I simultaneously laid down. I could see Jimin approaching the bed at full speed though I was quick enough to cover my whole body in the striped blanket.

I giggled as I felt him collide with the mattress. An exasperated sigh left him before I felt his hands starting to tickle my sides along with smaller hands that I could only assume was JiHyun.

“Stop cheating!” Jimin tried to pull down the blanket but I held it up securely and sooner than later I could feel Jimin’s body collapse beside me on the mattress and JiHyun whining a ‘no fair’ before walking to his own bed with toys still laid out in it.

We both looked exhausted as I lifted the blanket off me to see him. Sweat laced our skins but it didn’t matter when we had the brightest smiles on our face.

“I know it’s hard for you right now… but I’m always here for you Areum. Me, Eomma, Appa, and JiHyun. We’re always here.” Jimin spoke in a soft tone that made sure I knew it was genuine. A tone I’ve never heard before but it made my whole body wash with a sense of calm and assurance. It was weird, but it felt nice after everything that has happened.

[2005]

A freak accident was what it was.

We were simply playing catch and JiHyun happened to trap both me and Jimin at the end of the hallway. I screamed the idea before I even thought about it and both me and Jimin pushed on the door towards their bathroom.

Was the door stuck? Was something blocking it from opening? Or were we too engulfed in our game to realize that we both pushed on the door yet never twisted the knob? We were children of course we had to act our age, right? I was the first to realize our mistake so I twisted the knob in perfect synchronization as we both pushed at the door. The wood creaked as it violently wide open.

I guess Jimin had looked back to see JiHyun sprinting towards us for a second. Though that second where he pushed against the door and looked back at JiHyun had caused dire consequences.

Perhaps if he was looking at how the door opened then he would’ve stopped pushing against it, but what if he hadn’t stopped quickly enough? He would’ve had to deal with more damage. Though if he had stopped pushing then it was most probably going to be me who launched forward towards the toilet.

Cue our ride to the hospital.

My mother had immediately scolded me for being so careless. They had already told us to stop playing tag inside the house, but it was raining outside and the rush of playing inside had more thrill. What were we supposed to do?

However, I truly did feel awful when I saw Jimin sitting on a hospital bed in the emergency room. The side of his face swollen and his right eye closed from a gash on his eyelid.

I wanted to apologize, it was my idea after all. My thoughts ran wild in my mind and the hectic environment of the emergency room was certainly not helping. I wonder how Jimin felt? If I was overwhelmed from this alone then how did he feel especially with his injury on top of that.

“This really looks like it would need stitches. The gash is pretty deep and we need to make sure that it heals properly so that the eyelid can still do its job.” The attending doctor said and I involuntarily let out a shuddered breath, too loud for the person that was part to blame for the accident happening.

“Areum, go stay at the waiting area.” Jimin spoke as he looked at me with an expression I’ve never seen rest on his face.

Was he angry?

I mean, I’d be angry too if the person who suggested an idea that made me injure myself was still in my sight at the hospital.

Was he in pain?

What if the gash was really deep and it did damage to his eye? Was he going blind? What if it didn’t heal properly? Will he still have both his precious eyes intact? I wouldn’t forgive myself if there were any long lasting scars or defects.

“JiHyun too. It’s very crowded here.” Jimin spoke again as he noticed I hadn’t moved an inch from where I stood at the end of the hospital bed.

I nodded in defeat. Jimin’s Appa walked with me and JiHyun towards the waiting room. We sat down along with other people, it was much quieter and calmer in the waiting room though the thoughts in my mind still ran miles. I can hear JiHyun talking about their taekwondo session and suddenly more thoughts came to my mind.

What if Jimin wouldn’t be able to do taekwondo anymore? What if he couldn’t be their batch’s valedictorian anymore? He worked so hard last year and he’s still managing to achieve top results now. What if I ruined that for him? Would his fellow classmen allow him to be their class president again if he couldn’t see out of his right eye? Will he still have his signature smile with his cheeks rising, jaw stretching, smile lines showing, and perfect crescent eyes—

“Areum? Jimin’s finished, let’s get going now.” Jimin’s father and JiHyun stood over me as I absentmindedly stood up with them.

Was the wait that short or was I so occupied in my head that I hadn’t realized how much time had passed by?

I saw Jimin and Jimin’s mother walk away from the hospital desk and the ride back home in their family sedan was silently deafening. The radio wasn’t even on so all that occupied the silence was the other cars on the road and the blinking of the car signals when we needed to make a turn.

Jimin’s parents hadn’t said anything and if they did then we were out of the conversation. JiHyun was practically falling asleep leaning onto the car window and Jimin had his eyes locked on his window so I never saw the fixed damage to his face.

“Mi Jeong ah! Have dinner at our apartment tonight! You’ve been at the hospital for hours, come eat my Samgyetang!” My mother invited the Parks into our apartment and the Parks politely declined though it was that type of ‘no’ the adults do when they wanted to seem independent of help though always end up saying yes if asked the question twice. It’s like they only say no so that they are persuaded to say yes.

Nevertheless, the Park’s entered our apartment one by one. Jimin still kept his head down though from what I could see, his jaw swelling lessened and had colored his skin a tint of red with a few scratches.

We sat at the dining table as dishes clattered and mouths chewed. I didn’t have much of an appetite and from what I saw Jimin had only sipped soup as he often clenched his fist when he took a bite of chicken.

“Let’s see the damage Jimin ah.” My mother spoke up as Jimin kept his head down.

“Come on Jimin, it's not that bad. The doctor said the swelling and bruising will heal in a few weeks time, and we’ll come back for check ups regularly to check if his eye is healing well. Eight stitches should be barely visible when it’s fully healed.” Jimin’s mother explained with a soft smile.

Jimin lifted up his head and moved his hair around though the side of his face was visible enough to see the extent of his injury. His right eye was swollen and was shut close to show the eight stitches he had.

It looked painful and I couldn’t imagine myself in that pain much less placing him in that pain.

I stood up and excused myself to my room as the adults were now openly chatting and JiHyun had occupied himself in my three year old sister’s presence.

“Areum.”

I heard Jimin close the door of my room though I kept my eyes on the Math homework I had on my desk. Jimin liked Math. I would have asked him to help me on this homework like how I try to help him with History as he despised my favorite subject, but it felt wrong to ask when he was practically walking around with one eye.

“Areum.”

He sounded closer now. Damned his nimble dancing and martial arts coded legs that move in silence.

God, Jimin loved to sing and dance. How would he do both when he only had one eye?

I felt needles behind my eyes and I had to force myself to look up to the ceiling so as to somehow bring the tears back inside my eyes and not drip down on my cheeks. I was aware that it was a weird thing to do. Usually when you feel like crying then you’d keep your head down, but for some reason it felt more right for me to look up. Gravity acts as some source of help as it pushes tears back into me.

I looked back down to my math homework and I could see my fingers trembling.

“Areum, don’t cry.” His voice was ever so soft as he sat on the bed beside my desk.

I forced a glance at his direction and I saw the scratches on the side of his face again. His posture looked sad and weak. His hair is messy and his right eye swollen. He had an ice pack on his hand though he rested it on my bed.

Seeing his state in front of me had forced the tears out of me and he immediately stood up and went to hug me. My homework was long forgotten as I basked in his embrace. I just wanted him to forgive me.

“I’m sorry.” I merely whispered but Jimin only hugged me tighter.

“It’s not your fault, and I’m not that hurt.”

“You— you can’t even see out of your right eye!” I placed space between us to stare back at the stitched eyelids.

“Once it’s healed then it’ll be back to normal, like nothing had ever happened.” He said as if it was that easy. A soft smile graced his features as his right hand went to tuck a few strands of my hair. His fingertips were cold from holding the ice pack but it didn’t bother me.

“Your taekwondo? Can you still do Kendo? Don’t you have your quarterly exams coming? Won’t being class president stress your eye?”

He threw his head back as a chuckle left his lips. It was ironic. He should be the one worried yet he acted like this was a normal occurrence.

“Areum. A scar on my eye won’t stop me from achieving what I want. It’s just like every other injury I’ve had before.” Jimin reassured me though something still nagged at the back of my mind.

“Seriously. Get that frown off your face, it doesn’t look good on you. This is going to heal perfectly fine and I’ll have both of my eyes staring at you by next week.” His tone was light-hearted as he made his left eye widen as he said he’d be keeping an eye on me.

I smiled and his signature smile came back to his face, though only one eye made its crescent shape.

“Your eye better get well soon. I liked your pretty eye smile.”

It was true. Jimin’s eye smiles were the best. Eyes turned into moons and his smile lines and corner dimples would show along with his teeth. It just radiated a different sense of comfort.

“Eye smile?”

“Yeah.” I turned back to face the homework on my desk as Jimin still stood beside me.

“What does that mean?”

“When you smile your eyes smile with you, hence the name ‘eye smile’ obviously.” I shook my head as he chuckled whilst leaning into my desk.

“So sassy.”

“I’m only sassy because no one can help me with my math homework.” I molded my lips into a line as I barely understood the lesson assigned to us.

I always hated when we were assigned to study a topic we haven’t been taught yet to present in class. It makes the teacher’s completely useless, but I can’t argue against the system.

“Are you forgetting that you have this friend that is top of his class and loves Math?” He sounded offended as I looked up at him with a brow raised.

“Yeah, well that friend is currently half blind. He should probably rest and put some ice on his eye.”

Jimin laughed as he went to grab the ice pack from the bed and went back to his position beside me though this time holding an ice pack to his right eye.

“Your friend probably can’t rest when he sees you struggling with Math.” He played along and I could only shake my head.

I took a stool and placed it beside me before I offered him a seat. That was the night that Jimin had taught me all about 2D shapes and the properties of a quadrilateral with one eye, and yet the following morning I still got to lead my team to present and understand the lesson perfectly. I’ll never understand how Jimin does it.

[2010]

“Aish, Jimin ah turn that down!” I scolded as Jimin only sent me a funny teasing face with squinted eyes and puckered lips as he held a microphone in one hand.

“Areumi, stop being a killjoy~~” He sang in his high pitched yet controlled voice as a beat sang from the newly bought karaoke machine.

“Why does Areum get an exception in calling you an honorific, hyung? I’m your brother!” JiHyun whined from his spot on the floor.

“Exactly. You’re my brother, so you have to respect me—“

“Yeah yeah. How is Areum noona exempted from that?” JiHyun cut his older brother off with a repeat of his question.

“Areum is a year younger only, so it isn’t a big deal to me.” Jimin shrugged as he turned back to the television to scroll through the catalog of karaoke songs installed.

“Noona, can I just call you by your name?” JiHyun asked as I took my eyes off the magazine on my lap to look back at the younger boy.

I’ve grown fond of them. I can’t see my life without both of them and their parents. They were a second family to me. Someone I could lean on when troubles arose in our family. Questions like my future in South Korea, Aaron’s future in America, Ahnna’s future. Will we get to go to America and finally spend more time with each other other than the holidays.

I did get to go to America already. Aaron and Appa have a stable life in their studio apartment, though Appa says that we needed to wait a little more to go there, Eomma is growing impatient though. I wouldn’t blame her. We’ve been waiting for eight years, though I wasn’t too elated to leave permanently.

I loved home. I loved our family apartment. I loved school. I loved my friends, and I loved the Parks.

I couldn’t possibly survive without them.

“Yeah sure. You can call me however you like, JiHyun.” I smiled as the younger smiled warmly back at me.

“Could you stop reading that book and sing with me, Eumi!” Jimin whined as I moved my eyes to look up at him. A cute exaggerated pout playing on his lips as I shook my head a ‘no’.

“Ugh! Killjoy!”

I laughed as he turned his back on me sassily before working the remote to keep scrolling through the new released songs.

“What are you reading about anyways? Why is it more important than me?”

I giggled as I heard a genuine pout on his voice though I couldn't confirm it as he kept his back to me.

“What I’m reading about is not as important as you, Jimin.” I reassured with a roll of my eyes that he couldn’t see before continuing.

“I’m just learning English… You are so dher—drah— dramatic.” I spoke the end of my sentence in the English vocabulary I’ve learned, though it was quite difficult to pronounce the longer words.

JiHyun looked back at me with a raise of his brow as Jimin kept his gaze on the television.

“Why English?”

“It’s the universal language first and foremost. It would be great to understand a few English phrases too and Aaron speaks it fluently the last time we saw each other on Christmas. I can tell it felt strange to him to go back to speaking straight Korean.”

JiHyun slowly nodded as his focus on the comic he was holding faltered.

“How is Aaron hyung and Mister Seong?” JiHyun asked.

“They’re doing well. Aaron has a lot of American friends, so it was difficult to understand what they were saying, but I can tell he was enjoying America.”

“Hyung should adjust to you though. He shouldn’t forget to speak his own language just because he’s away.” Jimin spoke sternly. A reaction I didn’t expect from him.

“When is Hyung coming back anyways? It’s been what? Almost ten years? Ahnna is already eight!” JiHyun looked at me expectantly though I didn’t have the answer.

I just shrugged as JiHyun nodded and chewed on his cheek before turning back to close the comic he had in front of him.

“Hyung, pick a song already will you!” JiHyun lightened the air by adding a chuckle as Jimin continued to keep his back to us and scrolled faster through the catalog. I was surprised he hadn’t reached the end yet.

“Ah! Perfect song!” Jimin spoke as he selected the song ‘Only Look At Me’ by Taeyang. A song I frequently hear Jimin hum took our walks towards school.

“Add some dancing too! Let’s see if your after school Just Dance Academy lessons have been worth it.” JiHyun challenged as Jimin turned to face us with a playful smirk and a face that showed that he was ready to give us a performance of a lifetime.

“Eh.” The music started as Jimin looked as though he had channeled his inner soul.

“It’s been on my mind for a while.” Jimin spoke the English with little mistakes and I tried to hide how taken aback I was from hearing him speak English in a setting other than helping with homework.

“Gotta get this off my chest.”

He pointed to his chest before synchronizing his words with how he pointed his hand as if he actually had physically taken something off his chest.

“Before… it’s too late.”

The timbre played before he finished his sentence as the songs melody followed in a lower volume.

Jimin scrunched his face before bringing his free hand back to his chest and bowing down to look at the floor. His face was hidden by his black hair though he kept the microphone close to his lips.

Jimin always had a great voice. It was only enhanced in recent years when he started acknowledging it and properly advancing it through voice practice though in his journey of singing he found dance.

Dance was definitely where Jimin belonged. His body moved with such fluidity, it felt as though he was totally in control of everything. That’s why he had also started going to Just Dance Academy after classes. Sometimes me and JiHyun would tag along too. Their classes would start at five in the afternoon, just giving us enough time to commute to their studio, and end at seven where we would commute back home. His days of dancing and Kendo would alternate throughout the week, though he specifically scheduled two hours of dance in the morning of Saturdays before spending the rest of the weekends at home with us. He claims that weekends were for family though we pushed him to go do what he wants to do as Saturdays are the days where he can go to Dance without being too tired from school.

I can tell Jimin loved to dance. He has loved Kendo and Taekwondo ever since we’ve met. Both him and JiHyun were always so passionate about it, that’s why they had both entered taekwondo and Kendo, but the look in Jimin’s eyes when doing martial arts versus the look he had when dancing was completely different. There was a different type of sparkle. One that I can only assume was filled with passion.

Jimin breathed heavily as he bowed curtsy style when the song stopped and the machine processed his score.

“Bravo! That was incredible Jiminie!” I clapped loudly as he smiled at me with sweat on his forehead and rose tinted cheeks.

Not only did he score relatively high and sang perfectly well without the lyrics’ help, but he also danced a complex mixture of modern and contemporary dance. And despite the occasional heavy breathing, he actually managed to perform like a true performer.

“Ahh! I should’ve recorded that and sent it to Jessica!” JiHyun pulled out his white 2008 Samsung i640 with a teasing glace at his older brother.

Jimin glanced at his brother wide eyed as he walked towards the space on the sofa beside me, kicking his younger brother who sat on the floor below me before he let himself collapse on the sofa.

“Jessica who?” I asked, curiosity sparked by the mention of a name.

“Kim Jessica. Jimin’s crush oooooohhh!” JiHyun teased, as I raised a brow at Jimin to see if it was true, and if it was then why hadn’t I been informed?

“Stop JiHyun. I don’t like her.” Jimin continued to keep his eyes closed whilst leaning on the back pillows of the sofa.

“Yeah right! Just confess hyung. You’re graduating soon anyway.” JiHyun pushed, though it only made the older more irritated as Jimin threw a kick on the back of JiHyun to shut him up.

“Kim Jessica? The girl from Seoul?” I asked as Jessica was actually quite a common name in our middle school.

Jimin opened his eyes to meet mine and his expression was unreadable, though remnants of exhaustion were obvious. Sweat still on his skin though this time he looked at me with furrowed brows that were pushed slightly together and a scrunched forehead.

“Yes Areum, that’s her! Half the guys like her already hyung. Why would you waste your time admiring her from afar when she’s probably entertaining a lot of boys already?” JiHyun asked and this time Jimin sat up on the couch to properly push JiHyun onto the coffee table to shut him up.

“Ow.” JiHyun whined as he faced his older brother with an angry look though it was equally reciprocated as they got into some silent staring competition.

“Eumi yah, it’s already eight in the evening and I have to go to a friend’s dinner party. Get back to the apartment and take care of Ahnna.” Eomma spoke from the Park’s apartment front door with no warning though Jimin’s mother seemed to have expected her to come through.

“Dasom ah, Areumi and Ahnna can sleep over if they’d like. I don’t want you to leave them alone in the apartment late at night.” Jimin’s mother suggested a slight smile took over my lips.

“Oh, I don’t want them to cause trouble—“

“Nonsense Ahjumma! We’d love to have Areumi and Ahnna over! We can watch the Hulk movie before going to bed!” Jimin butted in, losing the staring competition against JiHyun as he assured my mother that they seriously didn’t mind us sleeping over for the night especially since it was a Saturday anyways.

“Okay… Go get a bag with your stuff, Eumi.” My mother agreed as she sent a thankful smile to Jimin’s mother.

“We’ll set up the room to fit all of us!” Jimin stood up as he started to drag JiHyun with him though Mrs.Park stopped the boys.

“Bring your mattresses to the living room. Why don’t you sleep here with the TV and board games.” She suggested, as all it would need to fit two mattresses in the living room would be to move the wooden coffee table and to push the sofa back up against the wall.

Jimin and I connected eyes as the pure excitement of a sleepover overloaded us. As strange as it sounds, in our years of close friendship we barely get to have sleepovers.

Yes, we stayed in each other’s houses and rooms up until ungodly hours playing games, doing homework, and simply having fun in each other’s company but we rarely actually slept in each other’s apartments. Our parents would argue on why it was necessary to sleepover when our apartments were merely five doors apart. We guessed that they didn’t understand the concept of sleepovers.

This was going to be an amazing night!

[rhcenyra]

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE (2013)

“Maybe I’d think that, too, Caesar,” says Peeta bitterly, “if it weren’t for the baby.”

There. He’s done it again. Dropped a bomb that wipes out the efforts of every tribute who came before him. Well, maybe not. Maybe this year he has only lit the fuse on a bomb that the victors themselves have been building. Hoping someone would be able to detonate it. Perhaps thinking it would be me in my bridal gown. Not knowing how much I rely on Cinna’s talents, whereas Peeta needs nothing more than his wits.

As the bomb explodes, it sends accusations of injustice and barbarism and cruelty flying out in every direction. Even the most Capitol-loving, Games-hungry, bloodthirsty person out there can’t ignore, at least for a moment, how horrific the whole thing is.

I am pregnant.

The audience can’t absorb the news right away. It has to strike them and sink in and be confirmed by other voices before they begin to sound like a herd of wounded animals, moaning, shrieking, calling for help. And me? I know my face is projected in a tight close-up on the screen, but I don’t make any effort to hide it. Because for a moment, even I am working through what Peeta has said. Isn’t it the thing I dreaded most about the wedding, about the future—the loss of my children to the Games? And it could be true now, couldn’t it? If I hadn’t spent my life building up layers of defenses until I recoil at even the suggestion of marriage or a family?

Caesar can’t rein in the crowd again, not even when the buzzer sounds. Peeta nods his good-bye and comes back to his seat without any more conversation. I can see Caesar’s lips moving, but the place is in total chaos and I can’t hear a word. Only the blast of the anthem, cranked up so loud I can feel it vibrating through my bones, lets us know where we stand in the program. I automatically rise and, as I do, I sense Peeta reaching out for me. Tears run down his face as I take his hand. How real are the tears? Is this an acknowledgment that he has been stalked by the same fears that I have? That every victor has? Every parent in every district in Panem?

I look back to the crowd, but the faces of Rue’s mother and father swim before my eyes. Their sorrow. Their loss. I turn spontaneously to Chaff and offer my hand. I feel my fingers close around the stump that now completes his arm and hold fast.

And then it happens. Up and down the row, the victors begin to join hands. Some right away, like the morphlings, or Wiress and Beetee. Others unsure but caught up in the demands of those around them, like Brutus and Enobaria. By the time the anthem plays its final strains, all twenty-four of us stand in one unbroken line in what must be the first public show of unity among the districts since the Dark Days. You can see the realization of this as the screens begin to pop into blackness. It’s too late, though. In the confusion they didn’t cut us off in time. Everyone has seen.

There’s disorder on the stage now, too, as the lights go out and we’re left to stumble back into the Training Center. I’ve lost hold of Chaff, but Peeta guides me into an elevator. Finnick and Johanna try to join us, but a harried Peacekeeper blocks their way and we shoot upward alone.

The moment we step off the elevator, Peeta grips my shoulders. “There isn’t much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?”

“Nothing,” I say. It was a big leap to take without my okay, but I’m just as glad I didn’t know, didn’t have time to second-guess him, to let any guilt over Gale detract from how I really feel about what Peeta did. Which is empowered.

Somewhere, very far off, is a place called District 12, where my mother and sister and friends will have to deal with the fallout from this night. Just a brief hovercraft ride away is an arena where, tomorrow, Peeta and I and the other tributes will face our own form of punishment. But even if all of us meet terrible ends, something happened on that stage tonight that can’t be undone. We victors staged our own uprising, and maybe, just maybe, the Capitol won’t be able to contain this one.

[danakin-skywalker]

Four Knocks (Sam Kiszka Imagine)

Content Warning: mentions of drugging

Taglist: @flowervanfleet​ @weightofdreams-gvf​ @sierraahhhh​ @theweightofstardust​ @samkiszkabreakmyback​ @prettyintopeerpressure​ @greta-flanveet​ @fosterkidwiththebrokenjaw​ @the-chaotic-cow​ @tlexx​ @screechesincoherently​ @garagebandvanfleet​ @gretavanhoney​ @stardustdanny​ @joshysgf​ @cowboysamkiszka​ @lightmyluv​ @fleetsonfire​ @maykiszka​ @moonlightanthem​ and potentially you, just lmk!

yo when did half my taglist deactivate omg

Anonymous Request: okay i LOVE your angsty fics i wont lie ….. so if ur taking reqs… i was thinking something along the lines of like sam / character are childhood bffs with secret crushes on each other (everyone knows but them sorta situation) and maybe she goes out with someone and it upsets sam but the date goes horrible (maybe its a bad situation idc) and sam has to come to the rescue. idk i trust you … i’d love to read whatever you cook up!

(A/N): Lol guess who’s back! Sorry for taking an unannounced two month writing break, I haven’t been feeling super inspired lately to be quite honest. And I’m maybe about to start a new job so I can’t really say with upmost confidence that I’m “back” all the way, but I woke up to this request in my ask box this morning and coincidentally it aligns with a half-developed idea I’ve been playing around with for the last few weeks. To be fair, several people have posted fics with plots somewhat similar to this one (in which Y/N gets drugged at a bar), but I wanted to tweak the situation so that none of the boys are actually at said bar with her, but instead need to come to her rescue. This just so happens to align perfectly with this prompt so here I am, cranking it out for you. Just like old times (six months ago).

I hope you enjoy!!

also extra thank you to @vetaglanfeet​ and @joshysgf​ for looking this over for me before I posted :) love u both dearly

*********************************

Four Knocks

It was becoming abundantly clear that Sam was not going to be helpful this afternoon.

You had invited your childhood best friend Sam over to help you prepare for a date with Matthew, the guy you’d been casually running into and flirting with for months.

You were over by your closet rifling through clothes while Sam laid flopped over on your bed, paying more attention to an old Guinness World Records book he found on your bookshelf.

“Sam, please, can you at least pretend to care? Which looks better!” You held up two dresses, one pink and floral and the other a more subdued olive green color.

Sam’s eyes flitted up from the book to briefly scan the dresses, before moving up to glare at your own eyes. “Why are you so freaked out about this anyway? You know how to dress yourself, you don’t need my opinion.” He mumbled.

You groaned and threw a hanger at him. “Because I want to look nice, Samuel! I want him to think I’m pretty and maybe consider taking me on more dates! Lord knows nobody else is asking me.”

Sam rolled his eyes and propped himself up on his elbow, his cropped hair falling into his face as he tilted his head at you. You couldn’t help but take a moment to take in his current state. He was wearing a big white crewneck sweatshirt- one you might have suspected he stole from Josh if it hadn’t been so roomy on him. The stark white only served to deepen his dark features as his brown eyes trailed over the two dresses you were holding up.

You’d be lying to yourself if you tried to say you’d never had any feelings for Sam that extended past friendship. Frankly, you’d been pining after him for almost as long as you could remember. Before you even knew what it meant. But Sam never wavered. He was always just… Sam. Never going further than his normal, tirelessly supportive and happy-go-lucky self that he’d always been around you. At some point, you decided to try and accept that he would never feel the same and look outward to new romantic opportunities.

That’s where you stumbled upon Matthew. He was a guy who you’d run into at your favorite bar every so often. He always offered to buy you drinks and when you’d let him, he’d butter you up and ask when you were gonna let him take you out. It was flattering, and it made your heart leap to feel desired. He was pretty good looking too, who were you to turn down such an opportunity?So, last weekend you decided to finally take him up on his offer.

“You’re really getting your panties all in a twist for some guy from a bar who you barely know?”

You were brought back to reality by Sam’s snarky comment, and you felt your brows knitting together at his tone. “Yeah, Sam. I am. Are you alright with that?” You shot back sarcastically, dropping your arms that were holding up the dresses.

Sam watched as you turned back toward the mirror, taking turns holding up each dress against your body. He heaved a sigh and got up, “Go with the green one. It brings out your eyes. I’m gonna head out but good luck tonight.”

His voice was defeated but you were too preoccupied with his first sentence and pre-date jitters to notice. “Thank you! I’ll let you know how it goes!”

From down the hall, Sam opened the door and mumbled to himself, “Please fucking don’t,” mimicking your tone to himself as he left your apartment. 

.

You stumbled your way into the restaurant bathroom, slamming the door shut and fumbling with the lock as your body slid onto the floor. Your head was spinning and the room almost seemed like it was too. You rested your back against the door as you heaved a deep breath, thankful that this wasn’t a multiple-person bathroom with stalls. You took a moment to remember what you came in there for, before looking down at your phone in your hand.

You blinked and suddenly you were calling Sam.

“Y/N?” Sam answered, confusion evident in his tone. “Shouldn’t you be on your date?”

You opened your mouth to speak and were surprised by how much effort it took to string together a sentence. “I aaaam on a date! You know that! Listen, I’m in a bit of a… a bit of a situation here and I thought to myself. Self, this situation calls for Sam. So I called you!”

There was a brief pause before Sam spoke again, a bit more warily this time. “Y/N, you sound fucking wasted. What, have you two been slamming shots?”

You shook your head, forgetting that Sam couldn’t see you. “No but that’s the situation! I just had a glass of red wine! I think he,” You took a break to hiccup, “I think he might’ve put somethin in my drink.”

Immediately you heard shuffling on Sam’s end. “Where are you?” He asked.

You shrugged to yourself, looking around at the bathroom in front of you. “Well right now I’m in the bathroom, because I don’t think he would’ve liked me calling up another dude during our date. That’s, like, rude, ya know?”

You could just barely hear the sound of Sam getting into his car and starting it. “You know what, Y/N, I think that was a good choice but not for the reason you just gave. I think this guy deserves a little rudeness. Do you remember what restaurant he took you to?”

You sat for a second, humming to yourself in thought. “I don’t remember the name. It’s the Italian place a few blocks from the bar I always met him at. He said he lives near here, comes all the time.”

Sam scoffed, “Figures. Look, you stay in that bathroom. I’m on my way over, okay? I’m gonna get there and knock four times so you know it’s me. Don’t open the door for anyone else, you got that?”

You smiled to yourself at the thought of seeing Sam, awareness quickly slipping through your fingers. “Four knocks! Can’t wait to see you! You know, I wish you had asked me on this date instead of him. You wouldn’t have done this to me.”

There was silence for a moment, and you briefly thought Sam had hung up, until you heard a deep sigh from the other line. “No, Y/N, I sure as hell wouldn’t have. Just please try to stay awake until I get there, okay?”

You held your hand up to your head in salute, again forgetting he cannot see you. “Aye aye, captain!”

Sam let out a humorless chuckle before actually hanging up. You let your phone fall to your side and leaned your head back against the door, fighting the drugs in your system that willed your eyes to close.

They did flutter shut for a moment before being startled back open by two loud knocks on the door.

“Y/N? You alright in there? It’s been a little while.” You sat back up a bit straighter at the sound of Matthew’s voice behind the door, reminding you that you weren’t safe yet.

“I’m okay, no worries! Just give me a few minutes.” You called out, trying your best to sound strong and put-together as your consciousness faded by the second.

You sat there, waiting anxiously for Sam for what felt like an hour but was more likely 10 minutes. Your doped-up brain filtered out the restaurant noise behind the door, even when it picked up a bit after a few minutes.

Finally, you were greeted by four clear knocks on your door.

Using more effort than you were expecting, you raised your hand to open the door. Your eyes met Sam’s face for a fleeting moment before they rolled back into your head, sleep finally taking over.

.

The next morning, you woke up tucked into your bed with your dress still on. You turned your head to look at your bedside clock and your head pounded in response. Suddenly, vague details of the night prior started flooding back, doing nothing to ease the dull ache in your head. You were relieved to see that you had made it home and woken up with your clothes intact, but there were large gaps of time you couldn’t remember from your night out.

And that scared the shit out of you.

You managed to muster up enough strength to reach over and check your phone, shocking yourself to see that it’s after noon.

You checked for outward calls and texts from the night before, even the Uber app to try and piece together how you made it home. All you could find was the single outward call to Sam. Maybe he would have answers.

You redialed him and placed the phone up to your ear, only to jump when you heard it ring from your living room. Sam’s here?

There was some shuffling behind your door as you heard the call get declined in your ear, immediately followed by the gentle knocking and opening of your bedroom door.

Four gentle knocks.

You watched as Sam’s timid frame entered your room and sat on the edge of your bed. His eyes were filled with worry and it made you sick to your stomach.

“Sam, what happened last night?”

He sighed and looked down at his hands. “How much do you remember?”

You shook your head, eyes scanning past him to try and piece together your evening. “Well, I remember when I got there. He seemed nice enough, a little forward like usual but nothing too crazy. We were just talking and…” Your brows knit as your memory started to get fuzzy. “I don’t understand, why don’t I remember anything else?”

You turned and looked back at Sam and were taken aback by the heartbroken look on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but paused and first took hold of your hand closest to him, establishing a firm grip before speaking.

“He, um… He laced your drink with date rape drugs. I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t look at you but he was forced to see in his peripheral the way your face fell in realization.

“So that’s why… Oh my God…” Your free hand flew up to cover your mouth as tears pricked at your eyes. You instinctually moved to pull your legs closer to yourself and Sam loosened his grip on your hand to let you move that as well. But you tightened your grip in response, in desperate need of his gentle grounding in this situation.

“But I… How did you… It doesn’t make any sense, Sam. It wasn’t even a bad date!” You were close to hysterics trying to piece together the logic of the situation, and Sam wasn’t willing to let you sit there and drive yourself crazy.

He scooted a bit closer to brush the hair out of your face with the hand that wasn’t holding yours. “You locked yourself in the bathroom and called me before you lost consciousness. I was able to find the restaurant and get that piece of shit taken out in a cop car. God, he was waiting for you right outside the bathroom door, too. Luckily, you stayed awake long enough to unlock the door for me. But, fuck it was hard just watching you go limp after that.”

Sam inched closer and you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his shoulder, tears now silently streaming down your face and threatening Sam’s eyes as well.

“I carried you out and drove you home. And I just, I couldn’t leave you here. Not like this. I couldn’t let you wake up alone and confused or godforbid you woke up and remembered, I-“

You lifted your head up to meet Sam’s gaze when you noticed his watery voice start rambling. You reached a hand up to cup his cheek and he leaned into the touch. “Thank you, Sam. I don’t… think I could ever thank you enough. I don’t even know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t picked up that phone.” Your words sank in for yourself as you spoke them, and you pulled your hand away from Sam’s to wrap your arms around him and pull him tightly against you.

He gently pulled you into his lap and held you close, sniffling to himself. “You don’t need to thank me for anything. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, I would. I just really hate that you were put in that situation to begin with.” He rested his chin on top of your head that was pressed against his chest.

You had so many thoughts swimming through your head. Possibilities. Newfound fears. About a million questions, but one stood out from the rest. “Why did he do that?” You mumbled, burying your mouth and nose in the fabric of Sam’s sweatshirt and inhaling the comforting warmth.

Sam heaved a deep, shaky breath. “I… I don’t know. He’s a sick, disgusting man who thinks he can take whatever he wants from this world.” His hands started moving against you, one making warm sweeping strokes up and down your back while the other lightly pet your hair. “He should have never even had the opportunity to get near you, I don’t know what I would’ve done if he succeeded. I wanted to kill him when I saw him standing outside that bathroom.”

“Why didn’t you?” Your question was muffled by the fabric you were nuzzled into, but his chest shook with a quick laugh.

“I’d still like to, but I couldn’t. You needed me.” He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your temple, which made your heart flutter. He’s never done that before.

Sam seemed to notice at the same time, as he froze in place for a moment before quickly darting his head back to where it rested before on top of yours.

You both sat still for a few moments, trying to calm down and sit with what was just spoken. Eventually, Sam murmured, “How do you feel?”

You almost scoffed until you realized he was just checking in on you. “I feel… disgusting. I feel used and taken advantage of and I hate it.” Your arms pulled tighter against Sam to punctuate your last statement.

You could feel Sam shake his head as you spoke, and when you finished he retracted his arms to pull your face out from his chest so you could look at him. “Y/N, you have to understand that none of this happened by any fault of yours. You are no worse a person because of it and you are still every bit as beautiful as you were when I left here yesterday. I know you don’t feel that way right now but I just need you to trust me.”

Your eyes searched his for any semblance of lying and you found none. “You think I’m beautiful, Sam?” You asked, hope dripping from your tone of voice.

Sam’s eyes widened for a split second as he realized what he had just said, but as he saw the affection in your eyes he felt at ease doubling down. “I think you’re very beautiful. The most beautiful. That should’ve been me taking you out on that date.”

Your heart was racing at his words, completely unaware that you had voiced essentially the same sentiments to him the night before during the phone call. “You still can.” You whispered out, a blush spreading across your face.

Sam smiled down at you and placed a long kiss onto your forehead. “You know what? I just might. You deserve a re-do. Except this time, you’ll be treated the way you deserve.”

You beamed up at him and nuzzled your head back into his chest, missing the warmth and safety. Sam’s arms wrapped back around you and the two of you sat together contentedly. Sam’s hands were about to continue rubbing soothing strokes across your back when he stopped them, instead opting to point two of his fingers and tap them lightly against your back.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four times.

You smiled against him in memory, surprising even yourself with your ability to see tenderness in such a painful memory.

And you reached one of your hands up his back to give four clear taps back.

[aching-tummies]

If I was your partner...I'd want to catch you after a long, long day of misfortune forced you to go without breakfast, or lunch, and you've missed your usual dinnertime by at least a couple hours. You finally get home with your empty belly rumbling VERY audibly; pressing your arm against your tummy as you close the door behind you does nothing to silence the furious growls. You'd collapse on the couch next to me and quickly start trying to soothe your starving tummy with rubs, softly whimpering as your belly clenches tighter and tighter...so I'd pull in you up to sit on my lap and rest my hands on yours. I'd love to just feel the intense churning grumbles and powerful starved roars against our hands, as well as hear them, before even considering feeding you~

After a while, I'd start teasing you about how hungry you'd have to be by then, occasionally squeezing and poking your whining tummy to draw out harsher rumbles and make you moan and plead for me to make something to eat, or at least some kind of snack, but for a while I would just play with your empty belly, kneading in circles to make it more active...make it clench and twist harder. I'd see just how long you could last before I finally get up and make something for you...and even then once you started eating I would keep rubbing and "massaging" your guts, causing the cacophony to grow even louder and more insistent; begging for more despite how quickly you'd be stuffing your face.

"...You finally get home with your empty belly rumbling VERY audibly; pressing your arm against your tummy as you close the door behind you does nothing to silence the furious growls..."

I step into our home quietly, trying not to make too much noise and disturb anything. Also, I'm kind of embarrassed about my tummy. Skipping one meal, maybe two...yeah, must've been busy...but all three mealtimes? Only an idiot would let themselves get this hungry. Though...to be honest...after lunchtime came and went I kind of saw this as something I wanted. The gnawing ache started to tickle my kinky side just a little. I wanted this. I wanted to see how long I could endure...to see how long I could let myself enjoy the active squirming and clenching of my guts.

Trying to focus on work was next to impossible as I my attention was constantly tugged toward the state of my hollow guts with each and every cramp and growl. I nearly caved on the way home. The bus stop is next to a burger joint and I could smell the heavenly scent of salt and grease in the air...but the bus was just pulling into my stop as I neared and I didn't want to wait however long for the next one...so home without food it was. The ride back was excruciating. The scents from the burger joint had stimulated my appetite and my tummy was snarling and growling throughout the whole ride. The cramps were cranked up to eleven with the newly awoken appetite and it hurt a lot. Thank heavens the other passengers all had their headphones in. I set my bag on my lap and was squeezing my empty tummy the whole way, trying to calm it out of fear that it would embarrass me in public. I couldn't help but let out a few soft moans because it hurt so much.

I'm kind of apprehensive about letting you in on the state of my starving tummy. Like a dog with a toy or something, a part of me wants to keep this gnawing feeling to myself to enjoy. An audible growl triggered by my arm pressing into my stomach as I bend over to set my bag down foils that though. There's no way you didn't hear that.

I'm in the hallway that has our front door on one end and the couch you're perched on at the other--literally two sides of an echo chamber. You'd have to be completely deaf not to hear that grumble and we both know you're keenly attuned to even the subtlest noises from my tummy. Also, you were expecting my starving state. You knew I skipped out on breakfast because my alarm failed to wake me in time to catch breakfast and my bus to work. I texted you after having missed lunch by a matter of hours, sharing a bit about the state of my neglected innards...and you had promised to have dinner waiting whenever I managed to come home.

"...You'd collapse on the couch next to me and quickly start trying to soothe your starving tummy with rubs, softly whimpering as your belly clenches tighter and tighter..."

"Babe? Y-you said in the text that you'd have dinner ready...ouch...w-when are we e-eating? Ugh…ow…m-my tummy really hurts…’m so hungry…"

"...so I'd pull in you up to sit on my lap and rest my hands on yours. I'd love to just feel the intense churning grumbles and powerful starved roars against our hands..."

"Y-you w-wanna--you wanna get into *that*? Now? Ugh...fine...b-but I really need to eat some time tonight. My tummy *really* hurts; I'm not going to be able to sleep like this. Babe? Are you listening to me?"

Clearly, you're not. You are completely transfixed on my tummy. Your hands have taken over on my stomach, somehow having pushed mine aside to lay directly over my achingly empty tummy. Your palms press into my midriff, jostling my digestive organs and stimulating my appetite just as the fast-food joint had done. I didn't think it was possible, but what you've done actually hurts more than the smell of food did at the bus stop. It was a gradual clenching and the growls sort of built up slowly and naturally on the bus. Under your undulating ministrations the cramps are forced into a head faster than they'd form on their own. Premature growls and grumbles are being squeezed into resounding throughout my hollow innards. Your palms create a cacophony of growls all over my guts--interrupting each other, flowing and crashing into each other. Dear gosh it hurts. My guts feel like they are liquifying. It feels like my gastric acids have burned through every which way in the hunt for sustenance and your palms are causing the burning mess to spread. Clearly, you’re an agent of hunger and want it to succeed in devouring my innards.

"Aaahh...OUCH! N-Not there...ugh...ow...t-that hurts...d-don't p-oke...ow...i-it's really t-tight there...y-yeah...i-it's cramping there...n-NO! D-don't squeeze it! Please...it...HURTS!"

My protests fall on deaf ears--what a time for you to choose to be selectively deaf, acutely aware of every noise from my guts but your brain not really caring to register a word out of my mouth. It's fine. We have safe-words. One word and all of this stops and you'll bring out the dinner you're hiding from me.

"Ugh...fine. We can play for a little while--but I'm watching the 11'o clock news. There was an incident on the transit lines and I want to know what it was that caused me to hug my grumbling tummy for an extra forty minutes on the way home as the bus took a HUGE detour."

"...After a while, I'd start teasing you about how hungry you'd have to be by then, occasionally squeezing and poking your whining tummy to draw out harsher rumbles and make you moan..."

"Shh...babe, I'm try'na watch the news—Yeah, I know I’m hungry. You know it. I know it. Shut up. It's ON!"

Your fingers push into a hunger pang reaching its climax and I swear its retaliation for shushing you as rudely as I am. I can’t help it. I’m irritable. The hunger pangs are intensifying. I like my news. I like to be informed and I have a personal stake in the news story on right now. It’s hard to focus when my tummy is straining in a cramp and it’s impossible to hear the guy on the T.V. when your “massage” is causing the growls to grow in intensity, duration, and volume. Of course you have the remote too.

"Ugh...really, babe? Now? Welp, that was the story I wanted to listen to."

I’d love to stay upset at you, but my stomach lets out a long, impassioned groan and my throat soon joins it as I moan around a building cramp, curling over your hand pressed into my belly. I forget my foiled news as my entire world shrinks to the sensation reverberating in my abdomen. Hollow is an understatement. I feel like a large hole has opened inside of me and everything is being pulled into it. You grin and press your hand deeper, intensifying the hunger pang.

"...I would just play with your empty belly, kneading in circles to make it more active...make it clench and twist harder. I'd see just how long you could last..."

In my head I’m thinking that I want to draw the line at midnight or something. I want to go to bed at a reasonable hour—after all, I’ve still got a full shift tomorrow too. I can’t seem to focus on the thought long enough to voice it though. You mentioned something about wanting to see how long I can stick this out for. I haven’t eaten in more than twenty-four hours. You know that. I’d love to shove that fact in your face but the way you say it in that teasing, seductive way of yours makes me see this as a challenge. On top of it all, it’s been a stressful week. We haven’t seen much of each other and both of us are starved for tummy-kink because we haven’t had a chance to indulge in far too long.

“Ergh…b-babe…y-you’re making it worse. I-It hurts.”

You know exactly what you’re doing and you revel in it as I squirm in your lap, trying to force your hand to leave some of the more tender areas of my stomach alone. We’ve done this enough times for you to know which areas of my digestive system are especially sensitive in whatever state I am in. You know exactly where to put your hands and where to push and squeeze to over-stimulate my stomach. You know exactly what buttons to push to get me to the peak of the hunger pangs and to prolong that moment and freeze my tummy in the most painful part of it all…before letting it go and causing a very audible grumble.

The rumbles from my stomach aren’t just audible, but totally palpable too. With the frequency of the growls you’ve managed to inflict I honestly feel like I swallowed a vibrator or something and it is now going to town in my guts. You feel every vibration and every cramp under your palm.

“…I finally get up and make something for you...and even then once you started eating I would keep rubbing and "massaging" your guts, causing the cacophony to grow even louder and more insistent; begging for more despite how quickly you'd be stuffing your face.”

We’ve done this long enough for you to know what I am thinking. You know I have a full shift tomorrow and you know I’m exhausted. As much as we’d both love to continue our fun, it’s so late that it is early now and if I don’t get to bed in an hour or two I’m going to be tackling a full shift with next to no sleep.

We eat on the couch with me sitting between your legs. We’re lounging across the couch so I’m actually reclined against your front. Your hands are still on my tummy as I eat. Occasionally, you grip my hand that holds the utensil and bring it to my lips, impatient that I’m taking so long to eat. I’m worried about a couple of things: too much and too fast.

I was starving, so I basically inhaled the first half of my plate. I slowed down for the second because my stomach was flipping at the sudden influx of food. There’s a dull ache in my stomach that’s the telltale sign of a bad night of indigestion for me. You only started this utensil-pushing when I started in on the second half at a noticeably slower pace than the first.

My stomach is still audible, but for a very different reason. I’m not full (yet), but if I manage to finish the whole plate I will be. I wonder if my stomach capacity shrank after more than twenty-four hours without food. My tummy feels really packed now and there is still food on the plate.

“Ugh…babe…slow down. M-my tummy’s starting to hurt…y-yeah…i-it was hurting before too…b-but now…ugh…I-I don’t want to get sick. I don’t want to have an upset tummy…I-I just…I just want to sleep tonight…”

Your “massage” churns up my stomach contents. It both upsets things and soothes at the same time. It’s an odd feeling. I feel like a laundry machine or something with how active your hands have made my guts. I can feel everything swirling around inside me and it’s slightly nauseating.

Eventually, we head to bed, me lugging my almost-stuffed tummy as though I’m hoisting a bowling ball. I let out a sharp belch as I flop onto the bed, the movement jostling my guts enough to make me moan. There’s too much pressure in my tummy. I lie back and rub at it with lethargic movements. You’re not here, likely getting ready for bed.

I feel the bed dip announcing your arrival. The movement disrupts the swirling churning in my guts and I let out a moan around a wet belch as my stomach burbles in warning.

“G’night.” You call out, intending on going straight to sleep. My hand snaps out and I grip your wrist, startling you. There’s silence as I gasp around a pocket of gas that seems to be struggling to pick an end of my esophagus. As it passes, I glare at you. My burbling stomach is the only noise in the otherwise quiet bedroom.

“Oh no—you’re not getting of that easy.” I gesture to my slightly distended stomach. “I can’t sleep like this. It. Hurts. You caused this. You’re going to fix it. I’m exhausted. I went from achingly empty to basically nauseatingly stuffed thanks to you. I’m going to sleep and I do not want to wake up to an upset tummy tomorrow morning—so *you’re* going to stay up and fix this.” I bring your hand to my grumbling belly.

You grin. So many possibilities. You could refuse and let me suffer all night. You could have some more fun with my stomach at the other extreme and keep us both up. You could do as I ask, but where’s the fun in that? Maybe I’ll end up sleeping through my alarm again…or you’ll just go ahead and shut it off/alter it so that we can repeat all of this again tomorrow…’cuz damn if that wasn’t fun.

[olivyh]

TWST FAMILY HCS PT 1) Heartslabyul

Riddle:

-We all know his mother’s personality (cough cough garbage), but I think that she acts that way behind closed doors and is professional and cares a lot about her public appearance, which is why Riddle was so nervous to come out about the things shes done.

-I think his mother is a little taller than him, maybe 5’5, 5’6. Shoulder length red hair thats almost always tied back in some way.

-I think he gets his short gene from his father, who I think acts like the king of hearts from Alice in Wonderland, but less stuttery and more on the timid side. I don’t think he and Riddle talk much aside from when they have to be in the same room as one another

Trey:

-I picture Mama Clover being on the shorter and more heavyset side, with lighter green hair (with grey streaks because managing a popular bakery and watching over her children has to take a toll) and dark brown eyes (you know the kind that makes people look like baby deer?) I think she’s quieter and kind, giving out free cookies to kids who might have a tighter budget or who couldn’t get what they want. Despite that, she’d be on the stricter side when it comes to her children, making sure they don’t eat too many sweets or hurt themselves in the kitchen

-Papa Clover is on the more carefree side. He’s the one who mostly runs the kitchen of the bakery. I like to think he’s an artist (bc designing cakes is IMPOSSIBLY HARD) and often sketches his wife and kids when he has the time (theres an old sketch of mama clover rocking baby trey still hanging in their hallway). He’s where Trey gets his prankster side from, often spraying the kids with the hose from the sink or clapping flour all over them

-Trey’s younger brothers, who I like to think are twins like tweedle dee and tweedle dum, act just like them. They’re mischievous and love to hear stories from all over the place, often interrupting one another when they they to retell their own. They’re likely somewhere around ten-twelve, since I think their parents would have wanted time with just Trey before having more. The two are practically inseparable, except in the kitchen. The kitchen turns into a war zone whenever the two are involved, and often Trey or his mother have to step in. They inherited their mother’s green hair and brown eyes.

-Baby sister Clover is the baby of the family, ranging at four to five years old. I think she’s the one who’s most like Trey personality wise, often acting like a “mini-mom” to her older brothers. She’s stubborn, and knows how to use her cuteness to her advantage. I mean, how can anyone turn down her with her baby fave and eyes made bigger by her comically large glasses (are they even hers???)

Cater:

-Papa Diamond: An oldie at heart. Has no idea how technology works and often struggles with basic phone protocol. He tries to get involved with his children and their fast paced life, helping Cater and his sisters with whatever trend they need hik for. No matter what, he’s their biggest fan and will print out his favorite pictures of them from their magicams. I think he had brown-ish hair before it all turned grey due to having to raise three children on his own (including two Cater-like personalities). I’d say he’s on the taller and more heavyset side.

-Oldest sister Diamond: The straight laced and mature one. She tries to act like shes so much older than she is, and insists that her decision to major in photography is not at all based off those pictures of magicam models. She does partake in teasing her younger brother when she can, though, critiquing him on his angles and choice of filter (she really wants to help him grow his magicam account but is afraid to say it without hiding it behind teasing). She has bright orange hair that she often wears up, though when it’s down it goes all the way down her back. She’s also taller (5’7-5’8 ish)

-Second oldest sister: The wild card. She is a social butterfly much like her younger brother, but cranked up to a ten. She is impulsive which ends up in a lot of late night tears with her sister while Cater tries to fix her failed bangs (“they made it look so easy online!”). She often sneaks out to take walks through the nearby city at night, thriving in the busy streets and the bright lights. She takes pictures to show Cater so they can go to the small spots she finds in the morning (even though all her photos turn out blurry or smudged- she got the gene from her father). She has short chopped orange hair, that often has little accessories or chunks dyed different colors.

Deuce:

-Mama Spade: The love of my life, the apple of my eye, the sun to my moon, Mama Spade. The sweetest woman you will ever meet, always looking out for her son and his friends. Even when he was hanging with a bad crowd, when one of his friends needed a place to stay because something happened at home she was the first to take them in. She seems like the kind of person to love animals (despite being upset about not being able to take care of one), and often sends Deuce small magicam posts about animals doing cute things. He got his love of chickens from her. She is probably around 5’4, and has the same coloring as Deuce, with dark blue hair that goes down her back (with a few grey streaks, making her hair look like the sky with shooting stars) (god i love her and she’s not even shown in game)

Ace:

-Papa Trappola: A gruff man, who stands at the same height as his son. He’s like one of those men you meet outside a 7-11 and they’ll tell you their life story for a slushie. Definitely has had a rebellious youth that shaped him to be a little rougher, which got him in trouble, but otherwise deeply cares for his wife and children (even though he shows it in weird ways- like when one of them mentions they like a certain food he’ll drop a whole container of it on their beds and leave, acting like he doesn’t know where it came from) He definitely looks like Giulia’s (i butchered that) dad from Luca.

Mama Trappola: Remember what I said about Luca? Yeah, she looks like Luca’s mom in human form. She’s a stern and strict woman, often scolding her boys and husband for bickering. She’s not afraid to speak her mind and can and will snap at anyone who threatens any of her boys (it’s terrifying to see a short, stout redheaded woman charging at you). She’s very affectionate when she’s not scolding them, often smothering her sons in hugs and kisses, making obnoxious noises while doing it.

-Big brother Trappola: Cockier than Ace by a mile, and won’t hesitate to be blunt about whatever’s on his mind. If you want the truth, he’ll give it and then some. He’s a lot more level headed than his brother, brushing off arguments and snide comments like it’s nothing. He’s a very talented magician, serving as a role model for his younger brother. He looks the exact same as Ace but with hair that is kept more neat and being a few inches taller, almost at the six ft line

[chuckbass-love]

56 and 100 with andy or steve plss

Hellooo lovely. First of all thank you for the request and i’m sorry for the long wait. I was taking a break from requests to work on the multiple series that i’ve got going on but i’m back now and i hope this is worth the wait. Secondly, i chose Andy for this and i really hope you love it.

Prompt #100: “Call me selfish, but i don’t ever want anyone else to touch you”

Prompt #56: “Come sit on my face, let me show you how much i missed you”

Disclaimer: My work is not to be translated or to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Andy Barber x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Jealousy, fluff, smut, oral sex ( f receiving), language and ass grabbing. 18+ guys

Word Count: 2,861

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @lovingpostit go check them out💜

I’ll Show You

It’s been one hell of a day at work today and all you want now is just to cuddle up on the couch next to Andy, a glass of wine in hand and some random movie that he’s been dying to watch all week on the TV. To tell the truth you don’t even care what movie it is, all that matters is that he’s next to you, holding your body close to his with his cologne filling up your senses and intoxicating you. Oh and lots of kisses are also a must.

You could honestly spend forever in his company and it’s been that way since you first met, you’ve always been drawn to each other like magnets, to put it in the most cliche way possible. But it suits the two of you because you’re both introverted and home bodies. So any time you get where you can just sit together and enjoy each others company, you take it no questions asked.

This week has surprisingly dragged, probably due to all of the clients you’ve had. Your calendar has quite literally been chock a block full not to mention the severity of the things your clients unload onto you. It’s been tough. But you got into this business because you can’t help but help people and you knew the second you started on your journey to becoming a therapist that it was never going to be easy. Nothing good ever comes easy. But you don’t mind that, you’ve never shied away from a challenge before and your brains are just another thing added onto a long list that Andy keeps of why he fell in love with you.

That along with your heart of gold.

On the drive home you decide to turn the radio volume up a little more than usual, you need something to keep you going until you can run into the arms of your love and as Led Zeppelin comes onto the radio, you know you picked the right day to crank the volume up. What a band.

----------------------

Andy is just making his way out of his own office and down to the parking lot to drive home himself. He’s usually home before you but tonight he had to clear up a couple things before he got to leave and much like your career, his is also never stress free, but he loves it too much to give it up.

As you park your car you notice Andy’s isn’t here yet which isn’t unusual, you know he’s most likely had to stay behind a little later so you decide that you’ll be the one to start cooking dinner ready for when he arrives. You step out of your car and head to the back seat to retrieve your bag along with your jacket from this morning before strutting up to your front door. But before you can even put the key in the lock, your neighbour Ian jogs over, calling your name to catch your attention.

“Ian, hi” you beam, greeting him with a friendly smile, one which he returns gladly.

“Y/N, me and Julie were just talking and since i’m taking the boys out golfing tomorrow, she’ll have a spare coupon for the spa, if you’re interested in joining her”

You have been rather tense lately and since it’s Saturday tomorrow, you’re not gonna pass up such a wonderful opportunity to relieve the tension building and the knots forming all over your back.

“Sure, that would be great. What time?”

“11” he responds simply and you nod your head rather enthusiastically.

He places his hand on yours as he smiles from ear to ear “brilliant, she’ll be over at half ten then just to be safe. Have a nice evening” and with that he walks away just as Andy is walking towards you with a not so cheery look on his face. Must have been a tough day at work for him too.

“Hi handsome, what’s with the pouty face?” you tease as you let the two of you into your shared house but he doesn’t seem to be laughing at your not so funny joke.

“Andy?” you press him for some kind of response even if it’s a nod or mumbling, you’d rather something than to be blanked by him but to no avail.

He just shrugs his coat off, hooking it onto the coat rack before slipping his shoes off and placing them in the shoe holder. And since he doesn’t seem to be responding any time soon, you do the same before padding into the kitchen to have a look at what you have in the refrigerator and the cupboards to cook for dinner. You eventually settle on a simple dish, mac n cheese. It doesn’t take too long to cook and that’s exactly what you need seeing as you’re starving.

You take one of the many pots and pour some water in it before setting it on the stove on a medium heat to boil whilst you change into something a little comfier.

As soon as you enter your shared bedroom you see Andy making his way into the closet too and when you walk in he turns his head to see you staring right back at him, confusion all over your face.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, hoping that this time he might actually tell you rather than acting like you didn’t open your mouth “what did Ian want?” is all he says and it’s all he needs to say for you to know just why he’s acting off with you.

Ian and Julie have lived opposite you ever since you moved in and you automatically got along, all four of you. They’d get a babysitter for their children and you’d double date every now and then but those fun times were interrupted when Andy insisted that Ian had a thing for you. Although you tried to convince him that it wasn’t true and he was just paranoid, you couldn’t help but notice the evidence too. The way Ian would look at you and hold his stare a little too long, the way he’d flirt without you realising it at the time and obviously today, the way he had his hand on yours. Andy must have taken one look at that and assumed the worst.

“He asked if i’d go to the spa tomorrow with Julie, i said yes, why?” you have to be sure though, although you’re assuming now, you want him to be able to tell you what’s got him so bitter.

“I don’t trust him” he mutters as he finishes changing into some sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

“He’s harmless Andy”

“I saw the way he was with you just now, touching you and giving you that shit eating grin, he knew what he was doing”

“Andy, whatever he thinks of me, i don’t care. I’m with you for a reason, can you just trust me”

“It’s not that i don’t trust you” he snaps

“Except it seems that way”

You hold off on changing for now, deciding that storming off childishly is the better option. Once you’re back downstairs you then place the pasta into the now boiling water, making sure to turn the heat up one more too.

“Why can’t you just see things from my perspective here?” he wonders out loud as he leans on the kitchen counter, catching your attention. The way his hands are in his pockets and his shoulders are hunched over, it makes you feel bad for even getting mad at him. Sure jealousy isn’t great but when he gets so worried about other men stealing you away you can’t help but realise just how much he loves you. He loves you so much that the thought of you leaving breaks him let alone if you were to actually go.

But he doesn’t have to worry about that and you’ve told him plenty of times.

“It’s not that i don’t see things from your perspective, it’s the fact that there’s no telling you. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be without you yet you’re too caught up with Ian having a little crush to notice that”

“Yeah well call me selfish Y/N, but i don’t ever want anyone else to touch you let alone flirt”

Instead of fighting back against him you step closer and wrap your arms around him as you stand on your tip toes and just as your lips touch his, his hands grip your face gently.

His grip tightens the more you kiss him and when you slip your tongue in, he loses all control. His hands dance all over your body, leaving no spot untouched. Goosebumps form all over as the kiss heats up, the pasta long forgotten on the stove as you’re too busy being ravished by your man.

“Someone’s very possessive” you mock, smirking a little into the kiss before he kisses you so hard it knocks the air from your lungs and when you pull away you’re gasping.

Your breathing hitches as he rests his forehead to yours, his handsome face inches away from yours and all you want to do is just claim his lips, just like you did seconds before. You can’t get enough of him.

However, he beats you to it, gripping your chin aggressively as he bites down on your bottom lip with need. You pull him closer by wrapping your arms around his neck loosely to which he happily obliges.

“Is that a problem?” he asks, raising his brows at you as you struggle to regain control of your breathing, you simply shake your head no in response, half expecting it to end here. But he has other plans.

“Good” he starts, slowly walking into the lounge leaving you stood there confused. So you decide to follow, only to find him laying down on the couch with his eyes trained on you.

“Now, why don’t you come sit on my face, let me show you how much i missed you today”

Your heart skips a beat as you watch him smile afterwards, you can’t quite believe that he’s all yours.

Without another second left to pass, you head over to him and begin to straddle his waist. He quickly takes control, moving you further up until you’re hovering above his chest.

Large calloused hands grip the hem of your skirt, slowly pushing it up to expose your laced black panties. Andy can’t help but choke on air as he sets his eyes on your panty clad mound. But rather than waste time, he starts to devour you over the lace before eventually slipping them to the side and feasting on you like a man starved.

The sensation causes you to throw your head back and practically scream due to how good it feels. His tongue on you like this will never get old, it’ll always be one of the best things in life, one that you’ll continue to enjoy for many years to come. The way his skilful tongue glides over your puffy folds with such precision before he eventually latches on to your bundle of nerves, it’s almost too much to bare and you can feel the coil tightening already with every suck and lick.

And when he slurps on you as he drinks the juices that pour from your fountain you’re unable to stop your hips from moving on their own accord and before you know it, you’re grinding yourself on him desperately as he lays there taking it like the greedy man he’s always going to be for you.

For him, you’re it. You’re the one and you always have been since he first met you.

After Laurie he didn’t expect to ever want another woman again until you came along. You rocked his world, turned it upside down and since then, he’s been hooked. He’s obsessed with the taste of you, the smell of you, the sight of you and the sound of you. You ignite a fire within him, alert all of his senses and turn his whole body into gooseflesh. Just the way he loves.

He flickers his eyelashes before looking up at you as his hands make their way to your perfectly shaped ass so that he can dig his claws into the soft skin of your round globes, causing you to keen for more.

The sounds your making should have alerted the neighbours by now but even if they do, Andy doesn’t care. He just loves the music you make as you arch your back, still riding his tongue as he pushes it further into your tight and wet hole.

“Please, Andy” you cry out, reaching down to run your fingers through his fluffy hair, you’re desperate now, even more so.

“Hm?” he mumbles, the noise vibrating onto your pussy “i’m gonna cum” you breathe out heavily, trying to gain control over the situation but failing miserably. 

Andy rests his hands on your hips, stilling the movements before diving back in for more. He swirls his tongue around your folds once again before ultimately settling his plump lips around your pulsating clit and sucking like his life depends on it.

You can’t hold back anymore, the sinful moans are enough to make him cum too without you even so much as touching him.

And with one final suck and two of his fingers massaging your folds, you cum with a frantic sob. Your body launches forward and he pulls you down so that you’re laying on top of him.

He strokes your back delicately, soothing your shaking body. He can feel your legs jolting every couple of seconds.

Eventually you get off of him and attempt to stand up but of course, you fail miserably.

“So, how was that?” he rasps, chuckling simultaneously

“Perfect, oh and i missed you too today” you smile and he eventually stands up as you slouch down.

“Good, now just let me finish the job then we can order takeout” he says, causing you to furrow your brows but the unasked questions have their answer once he gets on his knees on the floor between your legs and dives right back in.

You shiver a little, your pussy is still trying to recover but he just can’t get enough. His tongue laps at the cum still spilling out of you, making sure that every last drop is inside of his mouth before swallowing it all.

“Now i’m done” he quips and you sit up a little, pulling him closer to you so you can get a taste of yourself on his tongue. Once he slips it into your mouth you can’t help but get carried away, until the door knocks, disturbing you from your peaceful and romantic moment.

You stand up to go and answer it, quickly sorting out your appearance in the hallway mirror before you open it. It’s Ian.

“Ian, hi... again” you giggle nervously as you turn to see Andy’s face change from content to angry in seconds. He practically jumps up off the couch to join you at the door, his beard still damp with your arousal.

You watch as Andy stares the poor man down before wiping at his face.

“I was just stopping by to let you know that Julie wants to leave at 10 instead, you know because of traffic and all” you can practically smell anxiety on him and Andy notices it too.

“Sure, that works for me” you say before the situation turns awkward.

You glance over at Andy who is just stood there watching him intently but he’s coming off rather intimidating.

“Anyway, we’re about to order takeout Ian so we have to go” Andy adds in before snaking his arm around you waist and pulling you closer to him, you follow Ians eyes as he looks down at your skirt and you can only hope Andy didn’t spot that but judging by the change in his breathing, he did.

Shortly after Andy bids Ian goodbye and as he’s walking off, you’re still in the doorway.

You turn to your jealous boyfriend and tut, resting your hands on your hips but he soon disbands your serious facial expression as he smacks your bum which causes you to squeal.

“Andy”

“Let’s get you to bed so i can really show you how much i missed you” he kicks the door shut as he picks you up to carry you to your shared bedroom and you just know you have a long night ahead of you.

-----------

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[atlafan]

Office Neighbors - Part Four

a/n: alright, the angst in this is...ANGSTY, so please be careful lmao, I think the smut and fluff makes up for it though, but you tell me. enjoy! (reblogs and feedback are helpful!) (not proofread, I’m sorry) 

warnings: fluff, angst, smut

words: 17K

masterpost

You were in a large t-shirt, underwear, and a pair of socks, getting your things packed for the conference. Harry would be picking you up around eight to hit the road for New York so you wanted to make sure you weren’t scrambling in the morning. You had your A/C cranked as you were running around so you wouldn’t be sweaty before bed.

The buzzer for your door goes off, and a shock goes through your system. You look out the window towards the street and you see Harry’s car lit up by the street light. You rush over to your door to buzz him in. You don’t even have time to consider putting something cuter on by the time he’s coming in through your door.

“Harry, what are y-“

He drops a small bag he brought with him, and pushes you up against the wall crashing his lips to yours. His hands drag down your hips and to your thighs to hoist you up. You instantly wrap your legs around his waist and tug at his hair.

“Wh-what’s happening?” You breathe.

“I didn’t want it to happen at the hotel.”

“What?” He gives you an almost pained look. “Oh!” You look down at yourself. “I looked so much cuter for you the other day, though.”

“I can’t tell you how cute I think you look right now. Can I please take you to your bedroom?”

“Yes.” You kiss on his neck while he walks you down the hall to your bedroom. “I want you so bad, Harry.”

“I know, I want you too, I was being silly the other night.” He gets you onto your bed and kicks his shoes off before settling on top of you. “I want this…with you.”

“Me too.” You arch up to kiss him.

“You’re okay with all this? Me being here right now?”

“Yes, Harry.” You reach for the hem of your shirt and lift it off, revealing your breasts to him.

“Do you have condoms?” He says as he licks over one of nipples.

“Y-yeah, in my bathroom.”

He hums his response as he kisses down your stomach. Everything felt hazy. When he looks up at you to speak, a buzzing sound comes out of his mouth.

“Huh?”

Your eyes flutter open to the sound of your alarm, and you nearly start crying from anger.

“Oh, for the love God!” You groan as you kick your blankets back.

It had been a couple of days since you were intimate with Harry. He called you the next morning to see how you were, ever the gentleman. He had a chance to see Andy before the conference, so he took it, not that you blamed him, but you were sort of hoping he’d come by and rail you.

You take a very quick shower, and make sure your things are together before he comes to pick you up. You had been up late getting everything packed, and clearly the stress from that had gone into your dream, and dream Harry came to relieve you of that stress. You just wish the real Harry would. Not that the other night wasn’t amazing, because it was, you were just sort of hoping to fully have sex with him. You understood him and you didn’t at the same time. What was the difference between having his dick in your mouth or having it in your vagina? You knew have sex was serious, and he probably had to be careful about who he got into relationships with because of his son, but he’s known you almost a year…doesn’t he trust you?

You’re taken from your thoughts when you hear your buzzer. You perk up a bit, and grab your backpack, and rolling luggage, and head out the door. Harry’s waiting outside his car with his trunk open. He looked really handsome. He was wearing a pair of light blue shorts, a white t-shirt, and a pair of sunglasses.

“Morning!” He says. “Got coffee and a breakfast sandwich for you in the car, I stopped off at Dunks.”

“Thanks, you’re the best.” You kiss him on the cheek and he puts your luggage in the trunk. You keep your backpack with you in case there’s anything you may need.

“So, it’ll be roughly four and half hours. We can stop anytime you want, don’t be afraid to speak up.”

“Do you…drive through the city often?”

“Not really, why?”

“Well…it’s just…do you mind if I do the first half of the drive? I’d like to gets us through Boston.”

“We don’t need to go that way. We’re going to take 93 to 293 and go through Manchester, and then eventually we’ll switch to 95, no need to go through Boston at all, love.”

“Oh…alright then.” You get the passenger seat and buckle up. He gets in the driver’s side, and pulls onto the street.

“That’s not to say you can’t drive, we can take turns. Or I can drive there and you can drive back, it doesn’t matter to me.”

“I just…sometimes I get road rage and I can be sort of a back seat driver, especially when it comes to driving in the city, but if we’re not going through Boston we shouldn’t have a problem.”

“Don’t forget, I do go to London quite a bit, people drive like wankers out there just the same, so I know what I’m doing.” He smirks at you.

“Mhm.” You nudge him.

“Did you sleep well? I feel like I never sleep well before big outings like this, no idea why.”

“Yeah, um, I slept alright.” Your face flushes a little as you remember your very vivid dream. “Slept like a rock, really.” You clear your throat. “What did you do with Andy?”

“I took him up to the cabin for some alone time. Went kayaking, made a little fire, it was fun.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Yeah, he says hello by the way.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.”

“He asked a lot of questions about you, he’s so nosey.” Harry chuckles.

“Probably just wants to make sure you’re not going out with a crazy person.” You laugh and open up your breakfast sandwich. You take a bite, and then have a sip of coffee. “Thanks again for breakfast, so nice of you.”

“Oh, don’t even worry about it. I have a little cooler in the back seat as well with other snacks if you get hungry.”

“Gee, thanks, Daddy, did you pack capri-suns? Those are my favorite.” You grin at him as you tease him.

“Make fun all you want, but when you get hungry or thirsty, you’re gonna be happy I prepared.” He side eyes you. “I have a tough time taking my dad hat off sometimes, alright?”

“No, no, it’s nice that you think ahead. I appreciate it.” You put your hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze. “You just make it very easy to tease you sometimes.”

“Glad I can be a source of entertainment for you.”

“Hey, someone has to be on this long ass ride.”

“Long ass ride.” He chuckles.

“Yeah, it’s mad long.” You say as you look out the window.

“Mad long kid.” He says in a horrible Boston accent and you slowly turn to face him.

“Was that supposed to be me?” You laugh. “I don’t think you want to play the accent game, pal.”

“I think it’s cute when you let it out a little. I think you said ‘wicked’ in one of the classes I observed and I had to try not to laugh, or like any time you say ‘pissed’.”

“Everyone uses those words! It’s not like I’m sitting there going, ‘that’s wicked pissah, guy’, give me some credit.”

“See, again, I just think it’s cute.” He smiles. “Say more super-Boston words, what’s another good one?”

“Umm, god, I don’t know.” You giggle. “Is dungaree one?”

“What in the fuck is a dungaree?” He laughs.

“It’s another way to say blue jeans.” You laugh. “My parents and grandparents used to say it all the time. I don’t know if it’s a Boston thing though. Umm, spuckie is like a sub sandwich…sort of an East Boston thing though, so not everyone says it.”

“I notice you dropping your R’s a lot towards the end of the day. You don’t really have much of an accent otherwise.”

“I sort of trained myself not to have one because it’s fucking annoying. You sound like a moron. I think it just comes out more when I’m tired.” You shrug. “Do you mind if I connect my phone to the Bluetooth? Listening to NPR the entire time doesn’t sound like fun…”

“Not into morning radio, huh? Sure, you can just use my phone since I have the GPS going.” He grabs it out of the cup holder and unlocks it for you.

“Thanks.” You go into Spotify and slightly snoop at his Daily Mixes. You didn’t listen to a lot of the same stuff, but you did some similarities.

“Anything but top-40 is fine with me.”

“Don’t like pop?”

“No, I do, I just hate listening to the same shit that’s always on the radio.”

“Fair enough.”

“Put on…put on music you would have listened to in college or something.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to expose myself like that!” You giggle. “I listened to a lot of degrading RnB.”

“Ha!” He shakes his head. “Please, find a playlist and put it on, I’m dying to know.”

“Alright.” You find a playlist with RnB songs from the later 2000’s and figure that will suffice. Rude Boy by Rihanna plays first, a great start. “Ugh, love this song.” You say and put his phone down.

“This is what you’d party to?”

“Sometimes.” You shrug. “It’s just a good song in general. I like Rihanna…do you?”

“She’s not bad.” He shrugs. “I probably wouldn’t let Andy listen to her.”

“Oh, but that’s half the fun! Being a kid and listening to really inappropriate music in your room, pretending like you know what they’re talking about. Used to do it all the time with Eminem.”

“Same here, actually.” He chuckles. You sing softly to yourself and he smiles. “Don’t be afraid to belt it out, I sing in the car all the time.”

“Really? Because you haven’t done it once since I’ve known you.”

“Good point.” He turns the music up and sings along with the chorus and you start laughing. “Come on, Y/N!”

You start singing with him, and that continues on a lot throughout most of the car ride. Around the halfway point, you stop at a rest area to use the bathroom and freshen up. You both grab a slice of pizza for an early lunch, and then head back to the car.

“Do you want me to drive, Har?”

“No, I’m fine…unless I’m making you car sick…”

“No! I just didn’t know if you needed a break.”

“I’m really all set, but thanks.” He pecks your lips quickly and then you both get into the car. “What do you feel like listening to now?”

“You pick.” You smile.

“No I want you to…I like knowing what you’re into…” He blushes.

“Do you like rock music at all? My mom used to listen to all those 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s bands. Might be night to take a break from the profanity.” You chuckle.

“Rock works for me.”

“Eddie Money?”

“Crank it.”

You both giggle and you put on some music. You feel like the two of you have been putting on a concert, and it’s been so much fun.

//

You arrive at the hotel for the conference, and head right into the garage to park it. Harry gets a ticket that he’ll be able to get validated inside. He helps you with your things, and then you both head inside to check in.

“Harry Styles.” He says to the woman at the desk. You go to the person to her.

“Ah, Dr. Styles, great to have you for the CMT conference. Did you take a ticket for the garage?”

“Yes, here it is, thanks.” She takes it and stamps it.

“Right, and you’ll be here three days, correct?”

“Yes.”

She types on her keyboard and makes some rapid clicks.

“Alright, you’ll be on the twenty-fifth floor, here are two room keys, Wi-Fi is included, and there’s complimentary breakfast every morning.”

“Wonderful, thank you so much.” He looks at you and steps back to wait until you’re given everything. “What floor are you on?” He asks as you both head to the elevator.

“The twentieth, you?”

“Twenty-fifth…I think they gave me a suite or something.”

“Oo, fancy.” You smile. “I asked for a room with two beds so I wouldn’t be shoved into a closet sized room.”

“Smart.”

You both head into the elevator, and Harry follows you out once you’re on your floor. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“I just wanna get you in your room in case there are any creeps watching through their peep holes.”

“Harry…I’ve been to a hotel alone before.”

“I’m sure you have…it’s just for my own peace of mind, humor me?”

“Alright.” You shrug. You key in and he comes in with you. “Still tight, but definitely more floor space with two beds.” You hoist your luggage on top of one of the beds and sit down on the other. “I think I’m gonna relax, get settled for a bit, but do you wanna get dinner later? We could just go to the hotel bar.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Wouldn’t mind a quick nap, honestly.” He yawns. “See you soon.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead before heading out.

You end up falling asleep for a bit, and then you put on a bit of a nicer outfit for dinner. Harry tells you he’ll meet you outside your room for dinner. He looked a lot nicer too.

“Hey.” You smile and hug him.

“Hey.” He kisses the top of your head, and holds your hand on your way to the elevator.

“Are you happy you get your presentation over with tomorrow?”

“Oh, definitely. Then I’ll be able to enjoy the rest of it.” You both find a spot at the bar and order a couple of drinks while you look over the menu. “Did you want to split something? I’m not starving.”

“Me neither, yeah, that sounds good.” You furrow your brows at the menu and gasp. “Har! They have vegan Buffalo wings, can we please get that?!”

“Yeah, that sounds like it’ll really hit the spot.”

“And curly fries, gotta have curly fries.”

“Agreed.” He smiles.

You both order the food and clink your cocktail glasses once they come to you. The Buffalo wings really did hit the spot because you both scarfed the down.

“I wonder if we’ll run into anyone we know here. I’ve been to this conference once before, but it was a couple of years ago.”

“We all sort of go to different ones, like, our faculty. Plus, not a lot of people go to ones in the summer because they don’t want to think about work, but I like it. I feel like it keeps me fresh for the school year, you know?”

“Mhm.” You smile and just listen to him talk for a little bit. Harry was so incredibly intelligent, and you always liked listening his thoughts on things.

After a couple of drinks you both decide to call it a night since Harry would need to be up early in the morning to prepare for his presentation. He walks you to your room, just as he did earlier.

“Well…goodnight.” He says.

“Did you want to come in?” You nod towards your door.

“I do…but…I probably shouldn’t. I need to get to sleep…”

“Okay.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s really okay, I don’t wanna be the reason you’re tired tomorrow.” You wink at him and peck his cheek. “See you for breakfast?”

“Definitely.” He smiles and waits for you to go inside before walking back to the elevator.

//

You wake up feeling refreshed the next morning. You take a quick shower, and put on a pair of grey slacks paired with a pink blouse and navy blazer. You liked looking nicer at these types of things. You put your hair up into your buns, just so you still looked a little fun, and head down to breakfast with your laptop bag slung over your shoulder. Your jaw nearly drops when you see Harry down at the breakfast restaurant. He was wearing a suit…you had never seen him in one before. It was brown, and he was wearing a purple button up underneath it.

“Y/N!” He snaps you out of your trance as he waves you over.

“Hey.”

“Morning.” He smiles and kisses you quickly. “You look nice.”

“Thanks…so do you, I mean…you look…so handsome.”

“Oh, stop.” He swats a hand at you. “It’s just dress pants and a matching jacket.”

“No…it’s more than that. I mean, look at all the other people. Blue or black slacks, white button ups. You’re very fashion forward.”

“You’re just now realizing? Well, how nice of you to come out from under your rock.” He winks at you, and you put your bag down so you can go up to the buffet with him.

“Yours it at ten, right?”

“Yup. Which session are you going to first?”

“There’s a working session about advising that I wanna go to, just to get some tips since I’m advising this year.”

“That’s a great idea.”

“What about you?”

“I’m not going to anything this morning, just so I can focus. I’m gonna practice my presentation again.”

“I’m excited to see all of your data. I hope more schools will see they should be offering wellness courses.”

//

Your first session was extremely eye opening for you. You head to bathroom quick, and then go to where Harry’s lecture will be. You weren’t sure where to sit. You knew he hated when people sat in the back of his class, so you knew not to sit all the way in the back.  You decide on the fourth row. Not too far back, but not right up front either. You didn’t want to make him nervous. Seats were filling in here and there, which you were happy to see. Harry loved an audience.

“Y/N, is that you?”

“Dr. Pierce!” You gasp and stand up to hug your old friend.

“Please, you know you can just call me Arthur.” He chuckles.

“Old habits, would you like to sit with me?”

“Not saving it for anyone else?”

“No, the person I would be is going to be presenting.”

“Ah!” He says, sitting down next to you. “You know Dr. Styles?”

“I do, we’re colleagues actually. Office neighbors, in fact.”

“Good for you, he’s very bright. I’ve read a lot of his work, it’s refreshing.” He looks you up and down. “You look wonderful, your new institution is treating you well?”

“Very well! Thank you.” You smile. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“You’re just saying that.” He runs a hand through his hair. “This kids today are turning my hair white.” He laughs. “That’s why I wanted to check this out. Maybe if I can find a way to make them less stressed, I’ll be less stressed.”

“You’ve definitely come to the right place, Harry is the king of no stress.”

Harry could see the audience filing in from behind a curtain. He smiles when he sees you, and then squints when he sees you speaking with the man next to you. It was clear you knew each other and it wasn’t some stranger sparking up a conversation. He could tell because you nudged him after he made you laugh, something you would only do with a friend. He sighs and pushes his glasses up his nose. He can hear himself being introduced, and then he walks out. The room claps and he nods his head once he’s at the lectern. He was given a lapel mic to wear so everyone could hear him, and a remote to turn his slides. This was he could easily walk around the stage.

“Good morning everyone, I hope you enjoyed your first sessions…or an extremely long breakfast, whichever.” He shrugs and the crowd laughs. “I’m Dr. Harry Styles, and I’m so happy you’ve decided to spend your time with me this morning.”

You smile as he says this. You remember him saying this to his wellness class when you observed it. He said it to them everyone morning.

“I say this to my students every time we meet because even though, much like you, they’ve paid to be there, they still have to make the choice to get up and come to class.” He changes his slide. “I teach a class called Communication, Media, and Wellness, it’s just one of the few I teach, and I only offer it at eight in the morning.” He hears some people make comments and he grins. “My attendance rate is one-hundred percent throughout the semester, wanna know how I do it?” He changes the slide, and shows a picture of his classroom with students, desks in a circle, heads down on the desks. “We take the first ten to fifteen minutes to meditate, and then we do the same with the last five minutes. I give them time to settle in and clear their minds. Some fall asleep, some work on their breathing, and some just listen to me speak.” He changes his slide. “We talk about a lot of things in this class. We talk about what we see on the news, social media, and everything in between. We talk about how those things make us feel. We talk about tactics to help ease our anxiety, and if I’m noticing a particular energy, we break out the yoga mats and do some stretching.” He changes the slide again. “Students today are anxious about everything. They’ve grown up during some really tough times, never truly feeling safe. I’m here to help them learn how to cope.”

Harry goes over some data he’s collected over the last few years. He sends surveys to his previous students every semester until they graduate, and then twice again after they graduate. Everyone that’s taken his class thus far has graduated, and those that haven’t graduated yet all had high GPA’s. He shows comparisons of their GPA before the class (it’s only offered to sophomores and up right now), and their GPA after taking the class. There were only improvements.

“These students are able to take what they’ve learned with me and apply it in other classrooms and in their lives outside the classroom. The biggest thing I explain to them is to not be on their phones before bed, to not even watch TV really. It’s too stimulating, and sometimes it causes anxiety and then you can’t fall asleep.” He changes the slide and the crowd laughs. It was a picture of students presenting Harry with a sign that says ‘NO SCREEN BEFORE BED’. “This group made me this because I must have said it a hundred times that semester. I keep it hung up in my office.” He changes the slide to show students in their place of work after graduation. “Many of the results I got from my graduated students are that they’ve taken things with them. I have students have fallen in love with reading before bed, or they listen to a podcast, or use some type of app that tells them a story at night to help them fall asleep. They they’re able to wake up refreshed and ready for the day. Many of them even wake up and mediate to help them really become alert.” He changes the slide again to a picture of him giving a yoga lesson outside on the quad. “I know this may seem silly, but it really does help these students. Offering a class for credit on this allows them to already build it into their schedule, rather than offering classes at the gym that they really have no obligation or incentive to go to. This is a CM course, but it also counts towards our school’s general education requirement. We call it a Wellness Connection, so any student can take this course. I’ve had such a mix of students take this course, and they’ve all come out better for it. Offering something like this in today’s age is extremely important for our students who are facing so many hardships. I hope you’ll consider implementing some of this into your classrooms.” He looks out to everyone and smiles. “Thank you.”

Everyone claps, and someone else comes out and tell everyone that there’s about fifteen minutes for questions. Harry gets a few and is able to answer them best he can. Once it’s all done he takes a deep breath and sits on the stage. He knew some people would want to come up to him afterwards.

“Will I see you later?” Arthur says to you as you both stand up.

“I’m not sure…I doubt we’ll be at all of the same sessions.”

“Maybe at the bar later then?”

“Maybe.” You smile. “If not…it was really good to see you.”

“You too.” He hugs you again. Harry sees this and furrows his brows.

You grab your things and walk over to him.

“Excuse me, Dr. Styles, I have a question.” You grin.

“And what might that be?” He says, taking his suit jacket off and rolling his sleeve ups.

“How are you so incredible?”

“Y/N.”

“I mean it! I was floored. What incredible data, and it’s all true! It’s all things we notice in our classrooms. I really need to implement that no screen thing into my own life, to be fair I tend to read on my phone, but-“ You realize how fast you’re talking when he raises his eyebrows at you. “Sorry…just a little excited.”

“I’m glad you got a lot out of it.” He smiles. “Who, uh, who was that guy you were sitting with?” He asks as you both walk out of the room.

“What guy? Oh! That was Dr. Pierce, he teaches at my previous institution. It was a nice surprise to see him. He spoke really highly of you too. He said he’s read a lot of your work, which is incredible because I’ve never once heard him say he likes anyone’s work but his own.” You laugh.

“Was he one of your professors?”

“Not necessarily…he was, um, a colleague…” You blush slightly. “I’m headed to the session on…what?”

“Was he the professor you-“

“Harry, now really isn’t the time, okay?” You say quietly. “It was before you and I even knew each other, it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter when you were sitting with him.” He frowns.

“He’s just a friend.”

“A friend that you-“

“Not the time.” You snap. “You’re not my boyfriend, check yourself.” You huff and walk away from him so you’re not late for your next session.

His mouth falls open, silence coming from him when he tries to call after you. He shakes his head and heads to his next session.

You were so pissed you skipped lunch and went for a walk outside instead. You were barely able to concentrate during your session, and you didn’t answer any of Harry’s texts. Were you acting childish? Maybe, but you hated when men got like this. What the fuck did it matter if that was the professor you slept with? It was so long ago, and the two of you were friends. You didn’t want to sleep with anyone but Harry, couldn’t he see that?

By the end of the say you had calmed down, and you finally answer his text. He had asked you to come up to his room before dinner so you could talk. You knock on his door and he lets you in. He had changed into a pair of jeans a t-shirt, you were in still in your nice clothes.

“Harry, I-“

“Let’s get something straight.” He cuts you off, and you’re a little shocked by his tone. “You were right earlier, I’m not your boyfriend. In fact, I think it would be too soon for a label like that considering it’s only been about a month since we started all this.” He steps closer to you as you had backed away when he started talking. “But what I am is the person that you’re seeing, right? I’m the one who had their head between your legs just a few nights ago, so I don’t wanna hear it. It’s a stupid fucking word that people use to put some type of seriousness on their relationship, and I’ve never really understood it. You’re either with a person or you’re not, plain and simple.” He looks at you. “You acted like a fucking teenager earlier, you realize that right?”

“I was upset.”

“So you ignored me? You said something purposefully hurtful and then walked away? Is this how you handle things? You don’t like when someone says something to you that you don’t like so you shut down?”

“I didn’t shut down! We’re at a fucking conference and you were starting something with me that I told you wasn’t the time to start. We each had a session to get to! Unlike you, I paid to come here, Harry.”

“You still acted like-“

“Do you know much you disrespected me back there? Do you even care? There I was, amazed by you, and all you could care about was the fact that I used to sleep with someone, and I was polite to them. He asked me when he’d see me again and I totally brushed him off because I came here with you and I wanna spend my time with you!”

“You don’t even think it’s a little weird that a guy that much older than you wanted to sleep with you?”

“That’s society! Older men like younger girls, what can I say? Is it sickening at times? Sure! But at the time, when I was twenty-three, I wanted it. I was attracted to him, we got along really well, and I made a move, okay? Me, I made the first move.”

“He should have told you no.”

“But he didn’t! I rode that dick for an entire semester, and then summer happened, and he went across the country to go on sabbatical. It was a brief stint, okay?”

“You’re being vulgar.” He shakes his head.

“That shouldn’t be new to you. You’ve been out with Janette and I enough times to know how I talk. You’re making a big deal out of nothing, and for what? Are you jealous? Is that it? He’s fucked me and you haven’t?”

“I’m not jealous of that.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not jealous of anything, I just didn’t like watching you flirt with him from backstage.”

“I wasn’t…” Your eyes start to water. “I wasn’t flirting with him…I was just being nice…cordial.” You blink a few tears away. “I…need to go, I’ve lost my appetite.” You brush by him as you walk towards the door.

“Y/N.” He sighs. “Don’t go, we can work this out.”

“You basically just said having sex with me wasn’t anything special, so…yeah, I’m leaving.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You said you weren’t jealous of it!”

“Because I’m not! It would be a stupid thing to be jealous over. I may not have fucked you with my prick, but I got in there, I made you orgasm – twice! My main problem-“

“Well, I hope you enjoyed getting in there because it’s not happening again.” You were livid now. “Here I was, putting you on a pedestal for so long, but you’re just like every other guy. You’re an asshole!” You huff and turn towards the door again. “And if I’m acting like a teenager, then that makes you the tallest fucking baby I’ve ever seen in my life!” You leave and slam his door shut.

//

“You said what to her?!”

“Don’t yell at me! I called for help, Paige, not-“

“No, no, I will yell at you. Where do you even get off getting upset that she was talking to an old colleague?”

“I told you, they used to hook up, and he’s like fifteen years older than her, it’s gross, and I see it as him taking advantage of a young girl.”

“Harry…” Paige sighs. “It doesn’t matter how you see it, it’s how she sees it. She clearly didn’t think anything was wrong with it at the time, you can’t get mad at her for it. It was before you even knew each other. Ugh, this is just like when you punched Ryan Green at that party when you saw him talking to me.”

“Because he was the guy that dated you before me! He shouldn’t have been talking to you in the first place, he knew we were going out.”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s about trust, and not jumping to conclusions. I don’t think I had ever been so mad at you.”

“Yeah…but…you forgave me…”

“And nine months later we got Andy, I know, I know.” She sighs. “You said some real hurtful shit to her. What happened to deep breaths before speaking?”

“I couldn’t help it…”

“You and your green eyed monster.”

“I have to apologize…I feel terrible. I put up a front, and it was like I had no control over anything I was saying. What if she doesn’t want to date me anymore?”

“Then it looks like you’ll have a really awkward drive home in a couple of days.”

“Not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be, that’s the reality you’re facing. Now, from what you told me she said…it sounds like you both have some sorry’s to say. I agree she shouldn’t have ignored you all day, but maybe she just needed to cool off.”

“True…fuck, I really hope I didn’t fuck this.”

“You won’t know until you go down there and talk to her. Bring a peace offering, she’s got a sweet tooth, right?”

//

Harry taps on your door with one hand, and a boxed Oreo cheesecake in the other. You were in your pj’s already, just a large t-shirt and shorts. You sigh when you see him through the peep hole. You open the door, but only enough for the chain to stay latched.

“Hi.” You say softly.

“Can I come in?” He says just as softly. “I know it doesn’t make up for anything, but I brought cheesecake…”

“What kind?”

“Oreo.”

You close the door and at first he feels defeated, but he hears you slide the latch and you open the door all the way, letting him in.

“Thanks.” He hands the box and the plastic fork to you. He sits down on one of the beds, and you sit across from him, taking a bite.

“Is this from downstairs?”

“No, I went one of the restaurants close by and got it.”

“Oh…thank you…it’s delicious…”

“Good.” You take another bite and set it aside. “You’ve been crying?” Your eyes were red and puffy.

“Balled my eyes out, actually.”

“I’m sorry, I feel terrible.”

“So do I.”

“It was my fault…I did disrespect you, and I lied…I was jealous. I know I have no control over anyone you’ve slept with previously, I just didn’t think I’d be in the same room as them with you acting all buddy-buddy. Why should a guy like that have the privilege of knowing you?”

“Why should you?” You scoff.

“Touché.” He smirks. “Suppose I don’t really deserve that privilege right now.”

“I didn’t know you could say such hurtful things to someone…is that how you are when you’re angry?”

“Not when I’m angry, but…I’ve sort of always had this problem with jealousy. I’ve tried everything to work on it. Believe it or not, I’m way better than I used to be. One time I punched one of Paige’s ex-boyfriend’s right in the face because he was talking to her at a party.”

“Yeah? And how’d she handle that?”

“Um…” His face flushes. “Well…she has her own issues so…uh…well…we got Andy out of it, let’s just leave it at that.”

“Aggression isn’t exactly a turn on for me. I don’t like macho guys who need to assert their dominance like that.” You look down. “I’m sorry I ignored you all day, I’m sure that didn’t feel good, and you probably didn’t like seeing how bratty I can be.” You sigh. “And I cried more so because…I don’t want this to be over, and…-“

“I don’t want it to be over either…it’s barely started.”

“Were you really just trying to look out for me?”

“It was a mix of that and being jealous. I mean…I can’t wrap my head around a forty-one year old guy being able to rock your shit.”

“Harry.” You chuckle. “He was in his late thirties at the time, give him some credit. Besides, who said I was getting my shit rocked? Maybe I was rocking his.” You smirk.

“Y/N.” Harry sighs and lets his head fall back.

“You need to know something, you’re, like, all I think about.”

“Really?” He looks at you again.

“Yeah…I don’t want anyone else, I don’t even know who else I could want, honestly.”

“I really am sorry for how I acted earlier.”

“Me too.” You bite your bottom lip. “But…I don’t wanna be spoken to like that again. I’m not your kid, Har.”

“I know that.” He says defensively.

“You, like, had your dad voice on.”

“I was just speaking sternly so you’d take me seriously.”

“I felt like I was getting a lecture from my father, I don’t need that from you. I think if something goes wrong we need to try to find a way to properly talk about it. It’s not just on you, it’s on me too, obviously. It’s something we can both work on.”

“Okay.”

“Do you wanna get cozy and split the rest of this with me?”

“Thought you’d never ask.” He perks up.

Harry kicks his shoes off and gets on the bed with you. You had some random movie on the TV, and you cutely feed him bites of the cheesecake off your fork.

“Just so you know, sweets can’t buy my affection.”

“It was a peace offering.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah…Paige gave me the idea.”

“What?” Your eyes grow wide. “Harry, you told her we had a fight?!”

“I had no one else to call for help!” He pouts. “Please don’t be mad.”

“I don’t want her knowing anything bad about me…I her want her to trust me with Andy.”

“She does.” He shrugs.

“She does?”

“Yeah…because I trust you.”

“Oh…well, I don’t want you running to her every time we have a disagreement.”

“Well, I was thinking this could be the only one we have.” You laugh at that and so does he. “Sorry, she’s still, like, my best friend, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to call my sister about this.”

“And notice…I’m not all jealous because you’re best friends with your ex.”

“It’s a little different, I’ve got a kid with her.”

“Most people I know who are divorced with kids aren’t as nice to each other.”

“We’re not divorced, we never got married, didn’t I tell you that? Maybe that’s why we don’t hate each other, nothing on paper that legally needed to be divided up.”

“Oh yeah…you did mention that once I think.” You set the box aside since there were only crumbs left, and look up at him. “I think I prefer when we disagree as colleagues better. I feel exhausted.”

“Same here.” He chuckles. “It’s also been a really long day. I should let you get to sleep.”

“Can’t sleep now, I just had all that sugar!” You laugh and crawl into his lap. You sigh as he starts to rub your back. “Can we just stay like this for a little while?”

“I’d like that.”

You nuzzle into his chest, and he rests his chin on the top of your head. You hear him take his glasses off and you look up at him again. You both slowly lean in, lips ghosting over each other, and then you’re kissing softly and slowly.

“Mm, you taste like Oreos.” He smiles against you and then bites down on your bottom lip, sucking it gently. You groan into him and he holds you closer.

“Please.” You breathe. “Can we-“

“I’d like to wait until we get home if that’s alright…we have another day of sessions, and then we’re heading back…we’ll get back late…and I might too tired to even get back to my place, so…”

“So then you’d have to come up to mine, just to be on the safe side.”

“Exactly.” He grins. You groan and then give him a lip smacking kiss.

“Okay, get out of my room.”

He laughs at you and you get off of him. He kisses you again before leaving. He was going to be the death of you.

//

Things were much better the next day. You both even went to some similar sessions. Luckily, Dr. Pierce was nowhere to be found, so you didn’t run into him. You both decide to skip the awards ceremony since it was mostly for board members anyways so you could hit the road.

“Alright, I’m driving.” You say. “You good with that?”

“Go for it.” He hands you the keys and you get into the driver’s seat.

You didn’t lie when you said you had road rage. Harry nearly had a heart attack every two seconds watching you weave in and out of lanes as you got out of the city.

“Get out of the left lane you fucking asshole!” You yell. “Look at this guy, can you believe it?” You look at Harry. “Let’s go!” You yell before he can say anything.

“Babe! Babe, relax, there’s no rush.” He says, putting his hand on your thigh.

“Wh-what?” Your features soften.

“I know you’re eager to get back, but let’s get there in one piece, yeah?”

“I…” You look at him quickly and then back to the road. “Yeah.” You swallow. Had he not realized that was the first time he called you babe? “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He chuckles. “Didn’t realize how badly you wanted to fuck me.” He smirks.

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes as he gives your thigh a squeeze. “You just called me babe…”

“I know.” He nods. “Is that alright?”

“Yes.”

He leans over the console to kiss your cheek and then he sits back. He was really glad nothing got too fucked up between you. He liked you so much, he wanted to keep seeing where this was going.

//

It was dark by the time you pulled up to your apartment. You had stopped off at the same rest area and had a quick bite. You were sort of shocked that Harry let you drive the whole way, maybe he was saving his energy. You turn the car off and swallow.

“So…you’re coming up?”

“You want me to?”

“Yes.”

He nods and you both get out of the car. He opens the trunk to grab yours and his bags and then he locks the car. He follows you up to your apartment.

“If I could just have a second to go, um, freshen up…feel free to use the hall bath if you need it.” You were blushing, perhaps a little flustered at the prospect of what was to come. He simply nods at you before going to use the other bathroom.

You rush into your own bathroom with your things. You weren’t sure what you should do. Should you bother with a fresh pair of underwear? It was only going to come off…was Harry the type to even care about that sort of thing? Something tells you probably not. So, you just freshen up your deodorant, and put on a little perfume before going back out. He was bent over one of his bags putting his glasses away. You come up to him and slide your hand up his back. He stands up straight and looks down at you.

“You want this?” He asks softly.

“I want you, Harry…”

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to you. Your lips find his and his hands find your hips. He nibbles on your bottom lip, getting a soft moan from you. One of your hands slides up to his hair as he starts walking you back into your room. You both get on the bed and he hovers over you.

“I had a dream sort of like this the other night.” You smile up at him and he smiles back.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, but I’m already liking this better.”

“Why’s that?” He asks as he takes his shirt off.

“Because this is real and not something I can wake up from.” You run your hands up and down his torso and it sends a shiver up his spine.

He tugs at the hem of your shirt and you sit up so he can take it off. He immediately unhooks your bra to let your breasts free and attaches his hands to them. As he leans back down to kiss you, your hands work to undo his jeans, and you toe them down his legs so he can kick them off. He kisses down your chest, licking over both of your nipples, sucking on one, before kissing his way down your stomach. He undoes your shorts and tugs them down your legs, leaving you in your underwear. It wasn’t your sexiest pair, but he didn’t seem to really care as he started kissing you over them. Your hips buck up. No one had ever really done that to you before. You watch as he watches the wet spot become more damp and he presses his thumb into it. He looks up at you when he hears you gasp.

“I know, you want these to come off, right?”

“Please, Harry.”

He nods and hooks his fingers into your underwear to drag them down your legs. Once you’re fully naked before him he licks his lips like you’re a buffet ready to be devoured.

“There’s something I’d like to do…if you felt comfortable with it.” He says and your eyes light up. You were sort of hoping he was a little freaky.

“What?” You bite your bottom lip in anticipation.

“I’d like to eat you out from behind, can I do that?”

Okay, not as freaky as you thought, but definitely not something guys offered to do often.

“Sure.” You shrug, and roll over onto your stomach. You get up on your knees and elbows and look back at him.

He comes closer to you, holding you close as he kisses on the back of your neck. He works his way down your back, biting you occasionally to get you a little riled up. He bites into your left ass cheek and you grunt. You feel him spread you apart, and you buck forward when you feel his tongue slide between you folds.

“Stay still for me.” He says as he grips your hips, diving back in for more.

You grip at your blankets as you feel his tongue sliding up and down your slit. He adjusts you a little so he can briefly suck on your clit. You moan out when he does so, not wanting him to stop, but he does. His tongue enters you, going in and out, only briefly. You feel his fingers start to rub on your clit as his tongue slides back on your slit, back further, and up to your other hole. Your eyes widen when you feel his tongue there, he doesn’t enter you this way, but he was certainly getting a good lick. You couldn’t find it in you to care because his fingers were sliding into your cunt.

“Oh, fuck.” You groan as he pumps them in and out of you.

You couldn’t remember ever feeling so stimulated before, everything he was doing felt incredible. His tongue stays lapping around your other whole while his fingers fuck you from behind, his thumb rubbing circles into your clit.

“Oh my god, Harry.” You moan. He grunts against you, not letting up for a second.

Your body starts to feel warm all over, and you feel your stomach start to tighten. Your breathing is getting heavier, and you could feel sweat forming on your forehead. He was getting in so deep with just his fingers, and what he was doing with his tongue was sending you.

“H-Harry, I’m gonnaaaa-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you come around his fingers.

He retracts them and brings his tongue back around your folds to lick you clean. He sucks his fingers into his mouth as you slowly turn around to face him. You were shocked.

“Good?” He smirks.

You grin and tackle him down onto the bed, pinning him down and crashing your mouth to his. You sponge kisses to his jaw and neck and down his chest. He groans when you start grinding over his still covered cock.

“I think these should come off now, don’t you?” You say, already tugging at the band of his boxers.

“Yeah.” He lifts his hips to help you as you tug them the rest of the way down. Just as you’re inching your way down his body he grips your hips and pulls you back up.

“What are you doing?”

“M’not done with you yet.” Yup, he was definitely resting up in the car earlier. You get the gist and raise yourself over his mouth, and lower yourself so his tongue can be on you again.

“Fuck.” You breathe as he sucks on your clit.

You reach behind you to pump his hard dick, and he bucks up into your hand. You use your other hand to tug at his hair. He was moaning against you from the way you were jerking him off and it just added to the sensation on your core. His tongue slips inside you and you essentially start riding it.

“Fuck! Oh my god.” You groan. No one had fucked you like this in a very long time, and he hadn’t even put his dick into yet.

You have to use both hands to grip at your headboard when he starts sucking on your clit again, and slips two of his fingers inside you from behind. You were a mess above him, crying out and whining about how good it felt. You release onto his tongue and he sucks on you until you’ve ridden it out completely. You slowly get off of him and sink down onto the bed. You look at each other for a moment.

“You’re wild.” You chuckle.

“I told you…I can get a little excited.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead. “Do you have any condoms handy? Mine are all packed away…”

“You packed some?” You look up at him with wide eyes.

“Well…I just wanted to be prepared in case anything happened…and then I went fucked it so-“

“Hey.” You cup his jaw. “It’s all good now, okay?” He leans into your touch and kisses your palm.

“Okay.”

“I keep them in the bathroom, just give me one second.” You get up and wobble slightly. Your legs felt like jelly after all that. You rummage through your cabinet below the sink and grab a few…just in case.

“How come you keep ‘em in there?” He asks as you come back out.

“I…don’t need them as often and I keep other things in my night tables.” You shrug and get back on the bed.

He cups your cheeks and brings you back down to him to kiss you. You hand him one of the condoms and toss the others on the night table. You lay on your back and lick your lips as he rolls it on.

“Is this the only form of birth control you use?” He asks as he shuffles to hover over you.

“Yeah…I got off the pill last year.”

“Oh, how come?”

“I just didn’t like the way it made me feel.” You clear your throat. It was the truth, but you also got off it so that if you met someone and got serious you would have an easier time getting pregnant when the time came, but you certainly weren’t going to say that to him. “Is it okay that we use condoms?”

“Yeah, I don’t care, I just don’t know if we had a backup is all.”

He slots his lips over yours and opens your legs up. He runs his fingers over your slit to make sure you’re still wet. He looks down to line himself up with you, and you push his hair away so he can see better.

“You sure?” He asks.

“Yes, Harry.”

He smiles at you and slowly start to push in. Your mouth falls open at the feeling. He was thick, obviously, but holy shit. Not only is he really good at eating out, but his dick felt amazing. How any woman could have ever let him go was beyond you. He grunts once he’s all the way inside you. He gives you a second and then he starts to thrust in and out of you. He props himself up with one arm, and uses the other to hook under one of your legs to drive in a little deeper.

“Oh! That feels good.” You moan as your head rolls back. Your nails dig into his biceps.

“Yeah? Like feeling me this deep? You feel so good, Y/N.” He says into your ear and it makes your eyes roll into the back of your head.

“God, keep talking.” You tug at his hair.

“Could barely concentrate during my presentation the other day.” He says between kissing on your neck and shoulder. “You looked so beautiful.”

“Your confidence up there was so sexy, I was about ready to find a closet or something to blow you in afterwards.”

“Jesus.”

“Would you have liked that? If I just tugged in you somewhere discrete and made you feel good?”

“Yes.” He grunts. He sits up and puts both of your legs over his shoulders and fucks into your hard and fast.

You look up at him wide eyed and reach to scratch at his stomach before your hand lands on your clit. You rub circles into yourself as you both continue making eye contact. With each thrust you could tell he was looking for your g-spot, watching your features to see what feels good. When he hits it you gasp.

“Ha! Right there?”

“Yes, keep doing that, I’m close.” You whine and rub yourself faster.

“Should make you wait, you already had two, greedy.”

“Don’t be mean.” You pout. “Please, Har?”

He grins at you and continues to hit the spot over and over. He could feel you tightening and squeezing around him. You definitely were close.

“Oh! Oh my god! Harry, Harry!” Your back arches and squeeze around him especially hard. When you become too sensitive you pull your hand away from yourself. You thought he wouldn’t be much longer but there he was…rocking in and out of you.

He comes closer to you, burying his face in your neck, slow, precise thrusts. You dig your nails into his ass and he groans. Alright, he liked feeling your nails, this was something you knew for sure now.

“Can I get on top?” You nearly beg.

“Yeah.” He breathes.

He pulls out of you carefully and gets on his back. You swing a leg over him and sink down with ease. You raise and lower on him until you get a groove going. His hands slide up to your breasts and he kneads them. You were surprised he was letting you just ride him and that he wasn’t thrusting up into you, but you appreciated having the control. His hands move your hips and ass, squeezing at different locations. You smirk down at him.

“Can’t decide where I wanna touch you most.” He admits.

“Wanna feel you all over.”

His hands move up to your back and he pulls you down to him so your chests are flush together. He bends his legs at the knee and digs his feet into your bed so he could thrust into you, moving you up and down on him. You kiss on his neck and move to his mouth as you grind on him. You both were moving in sync, and you were getting the best friction against your clit. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to come again, having never had four in one go, but you both were up to the challenge. He moves you faster and faster on him. You have to detach your lips to breathe when you start panting.

“Shit!” You cry out when you feel your release. You rest your head on his chest, and gives you a moment to regain yourself before pulling out. “You…you didn’t come yet.”

“I know, we’re not done.” Your eyes widen at him. “Don’t tell me you’re tired, babe.” He smirks.

“Nope.” You shake your head and grin. “Gimme all you got.”

He flips you onto your stomach, and has you lay flat as he slides in, almost his full weight on top of you. You almost sigh with relief because this was something you had been craving for what felt like ages. Just feeling him full on you, almost crushing you, but in the best possible way. He rocks in and out of you slowly and kisses on your neck and shoulders. It was needy at first, but now things just felt sensual. You feel a little bad he can’t really feel how soaked you are around him.

He slides an arm under your chest to grip one of your breasts, and his other hand snakes just under your pelvis. You gasp when you feel his fingers on your clit. You were overly sensitive now. He was just pressing down, not moving, and applying pressure. His hips move in circles and your mouth falls open. He was really stretching you out now. Your hips move with him, and he starts moaning softly.

“Love feeling you like this.” He says into your ear.

“Me too.” You whimper. Now his fingers rub circles into your clit with same motion as both of your hips, big and slow. “Harry.”

“Shh, I know you’ve got one more in you. This time we’re gonna do it together, how does that sound?”

“Sounds good.” You groan.

Between his breath in your ear, his fingers on your clit, his other fingers tweaking your nipple, and his cock working wonders inside you, you had no idea how you hadn’t melted into a puddle on your bed and evaporated into thin air.

“H-Harry, I-“ You squeeze around him and he bites hard on your shoulder.

This sends you over the edge you cry out loudly. You practically scream his name, which helps him meet his own end. It was so hot, you could feel his come through the condom. He kisses down your back as he pulls out, and you wince.

“Sorry.” He mumbles as he gets off your bed. “M’just gonna take care of this in the bathroom.”

“Be my guest.” You breathe. You push yourself up and waddle to the hall bath. Your shit hadn’t be rocked quite like that in a long time, if ever.

When you come back into your room he was grabbing a fresh pair of boxers from his bag and sliding them up his legs. His glasses were back on his face, and he was rummaging for his toothbrush.

“You have toothpaste I can use?” He asks, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

“Mhm.” You nearly squeak. Your voice was hoarse. “Just let me do my thing and then it’s all yours.” You sounded like you had gravel in your throat it made him beam at you.

Harry goes into the bathroom after you, and you throw a large t-shirt on and get into bed. You were nervous, a guy hadn’t stayed over with you in this apartment yet. And you had been living there a year! He comes out and slides into bed with you.

“It’s alright I’m staying?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You’re as stiff as a board.” He chuckles. “Here I was thinking I loosened you up.”

“Harry.” You breathe. “Please, I’m exhausted.” He laughs at that and leans over to turn your light off. He pulls you to lay on his chest.

“You don’t do this often, do you?”

“No…I get nervous sleeping next to people.”

“Why?”

“Because, like, what if I roll over too much and wake you up, or snore, or talk in my sleep, or what if I…don’t look cute when I wake up.”

“Y/N.” Harry laughs. “You’re talking about things that all people do, it’s okay.”

“I also really like to get wrapped up in my blankets…like a burrito.” You mumble the last part.

“Well, you know I like holding onto something, so why don’t I be your burrito tonight?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, let me wrap you up, we’ll get all snug.”

You smile and peck his lips before turning over. He spoons you nice and tight to him, his limbs slung over yours, blankets cozy around the both of you. You sigh happily.

“This is nice.” You whisper.

“I agree.” He whispers back.

“You…have a lot of stamina.”

“Surprised?”

“A little.” You chuckle. “Good surprise though.”

“Did you like everything I did?”

“Yes, very much.”

“Even the stuff at the beginning.”

“I was very surprised by that, but it felt good with everything else you were doing.”

“Good, so you weren’t freaked out?”

“Nope.” You adjust closer to him. “I’m pretty open to trying things. I would have told you if I didn’t like something.”

“Everything just felt right with you.” He nuzzles his face into the back of your head.

“I feel the same way.”

Everything would be different now, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. You had never connected physically like that with someone before. You were falling for him, hard, to say the least.

//

You wake up just as you did the night you went camping with Harry. His body pressed close to yours, and his breath on the back of your neck. You could hear light snores coming from him. The clock on your bed side table reads 9:30. You sigh and adjust against him, hoping to maybe fall back asleep. His arm pulls you closer to him, and you turn onto your back to look up at him. He blinks a few times before looking down at you. He smiles and opens his mouth to speak, and as if on cue, his phone starts buzzing.

“It’s Andy.” There’s a slight sigh. “Do you mind if I take it?”

“No, go ahead.” You giggle. That kid sure had impeccable timing.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Dad!”

“Hi, buddy, why you calling so early?” He knuckles at one of his eyes and sits up.

“Says the guy that gets up before sunrise every day.” Andy scoffs. “How was New York, did your presentation go well?”

“It was good, yeah, a lot of people showed up, I was surprised. Got asked some good questions.”

“Did Y/N come?”

“She sure did.” Your jaw drops and you smack Harry’s chest. He chuckles softly.

“So, is she your girlfriend yet, or what?”

Harry’s face loses all color and he clears his throat.

“Uhhh, I don’t know yet, um, could I call you later, Andy?”

“Why, are you busy?”

“A little.”

“Doing what?”

“I’m just tired, we got back late last night, and then…I didn’t fall asleep until later. Not really awake enough for a full conversation.”

“Fine.” He sighs. “Call me later, love you.”

“Love you too.” Harry puts his phone down and looks at you. “Sorry, he doesn’t understand how this stuff works…”

“What stuff?”

“Like…dating timeframes. You know how kids are, they think you go out on one date and that makes someone your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“Labels really scare you, huh?” You sit up and look at him, covering your upper half with the blanket.

“No, that’s not it, I just don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured.” Your features soften at that.

He was right, it had only been a month, it was probably a little soon to rush into the boyfriend/girlfriend label. You shuffle over to sit in his lap, and you lay your head on his shoulder. He holds you close and rubs your back. You start laughing.

“What?”

“I can’t believe you said that to him.”

“Oh, he didn’t pick up on the innuendo, s’fine.” He kisses the top of your head. “Sleep alright?”

“Mhm, did you?”

“Yeah, like you a lot better than my body pillow.” You both laugh at his dumb joke. “What are you doing today?”

“Hmm.” You look up at him. “Laundry for sure, grocery shopping…I’ve got some reading to catch up on, you?”

“Bout the same. Could we have a shower and some breakfast? Then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“That sounds great.” You kiss his cheek. “But no hanky panky in there, I’m throbbing and not in a good way.”

“Sorry.” His cheeks grow red.

“No! It’s okay, I just...you had me all over the place, and your dick is really big. Not complaining at all, it was just a lot all at once.”

“I…may have been a little excited.”

“No skin off my nose, I’d rather have it like that anyways.” You kiss his nose and get off of him. You extend your hand out and lead him to the bathroom to start your shower.

//

“You bitch! You can’t just say he spent the night and not give me details!” Janette says over FaceTime later that evening. “I’ve missed everything!”

“When you get back we can go out for drinks. I don’t think he’d like it very much if I spilled the beans. I’m not sure what we’re telling people…if we’re telling people.”

“It’s been about a month, right? You could tell people you’re seeing someone.”

“Other than my brother you’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Please, just tell me this…did you go to sleep happy?”

“Very.” You smirk and she squeals.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“I miss you too.”

//

A few days pass, and you end up going to Boston for your birthday. You and Harry have spoken, of course, but you haven’t been able to see each other. He was really bummed because he wanted to take you out to dinner.

“Can I take you out for a night on the town when you get back?”

“I’d like that.”

Harry was one of the sweetest guys you had ever dated, and you felt really lucky. Your parents and brother and Julian were all taking you out for dinner at one of your favorite Chinese food places in the city.

“How was New York, honey?” Your mom asks.

“It was great! I learned a lot. I’m really glad I went, there were so many good sessions.”

“And you went with one of your colleagues?” Your dad asks.

“Mhm.” You say, sipping your drink. You and Phil make eyes at each other and you swallow hard. “We’re…well, we’re sort of seeing each other.”

“Oh?” Your mom gasps and then she smiles. “Where the hell is he then? You didn’t invite him o your birthday dinner?”

“Mum…it’s a bit soon for him to meet the family, it’s only been a little over a month since we’ve started going out.”

“How long have you known him?” Your dad asks.

“Almost a year. He’s my office neighbor, so we’ve been friends a while.”

“Well, I’m just tickled pink! It’s been ages since you’ve had a boyfriend.” Your mom beams.

“He’s not my boyfriend, not officially, anyways. We’re just dating, seeing how it goes.”

“What’s the problem? He should want to snatch you up.” Your dad says.

“He needs to be really selective with who he gets serious…he sort of has a kid…” You mumble.

“A kid?!” They both say.

“How old is this man?” Your mom asks.

“Only thirty-two, Phil’s age.”

“How old is the kid? Must be young.” Your dad says.

“He’s eleven, actually…they had him young. I’ve met his mom, she’s really nice. She has a serious boyfriend who has a daughter. Harry’s son’s name is Andy, and he’s very sweet.”

“So, you’ve met him?” Your mom asks.

“Oh, sure. Harry has to bring him to work sometimes. I’ve gone hiking with them too.”

“Yeah, Y/N went camping overnight with them.” Phil says with a grin. “Think that was when he finally had the balls to ask her out. Shared a tent and everything.”

“I’m never telling you anything ever again.” You groan.

“I think next time we come up for a visit we should meet this man. I mean, you really want to get involved with someone with a kid in middle school? What if things get really serious, and then you find out he doesn’t wanna deal with having a baby again? I know it’s your choice, but you’ve always said you wanted a baby, I don’t want you wasting your time with someone who won’t give that to you.” Your mom says.

“Wow, a lecture on my birthday, what a gift.”

“We just want to make-“ Your dad starts but you cut him off.

“Look, I get I’m the baby of this family, but I’m not stupid, I know what I’m doing. It’s taken me a year to open my eyes and heart up to him, and I can’t believe the time I already wasted not being with him. He’s…he’s amazing, and kind, and exactly what I want in a guy. If things get more serious then I’m sure the topic of babies will come up, and we’ll talk about it then. I’ll let you meet him when I think it’s time, not when you do.” You huff. “Now, can we please enjoy this lo mein? It’s delicious.”

Phil invites you to spend the night at his place after dinner, which you’re thankful for. You didn’t want to be lectured anymore. Just as you’re crawling into bed you get a FaceTime request from Harry.

“Hey!” You say a little too excitedly.

“Hey, birthday girl. Have I said happy birthday enough times to you today? How about one more: happy birthday, Y/N.” You bite your bottom lip as you smile.

“Thank you, Harry. You’re so sweet.”

“I can’t wait to see you, I think you’ll like what I have planned.”

“I can’t wait too.”

“Andy made you a card, I saw him today and he gave it to me to give to you.”

“Aw, he’s so cute. He’ll be home with you pretty soon, huh?”

“Yeah, couple more weeks.”

“Listen, um…I sort of told my parents about us tonight…I hope that’s alright.”

“You did?” He perks up.

“Yeah, they wanna meet you soon, is that weird?”

“I don’t know, is it weird that my mum and sister are dying to video chat with you?”

“You told them about me?” You swoon.

“Course I did…a little while ago, when I was still keeping how I felt to myself…think it was after Andy’s birthday party.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“You’re so cute, Harry.” You smile. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Noah asked me to lunch…for some reason. Should be interesting. What about you?”

“Phil’s cooking for me all day to try out some new recipes.”

“Lucky duck.” You giggle at that.

“I’m tired so I’m gonna go to sleep, but I’m really happy you called. It’s nice to see your face.”

“It’s nice to see yours too. See you in a couple days.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

//

Harry met Noah at a casual seafood place for lunch. They sat outside, and both ordered a beer with their lunches.

“So…not that I don’t like hanging out, but usually we do it with the kids around. What’s this all about?”

“Getting right to it, huh?” Noah chuckles. “Well…I guess, how do you feel about me, H?”

“How do I feel about you?” Harry laughs. “Well, if I were a prick I’d say you annoy me because you’re the guy fucking the mother of my kid, but I’m not so I won’t say that.” He smirks as Noah’s face falls. “Jesus, relax, mate, I’m teasing. I like you, obviously. You’re good to Andy, and to Paige.”

“You scared me for a second there.” He clears his throat. “We all have a nice thing going, this blended family thing.”

“Yeah, I’d say it’s all working out as well as it can.”

“Paige and I have been together for three years now, and we live together, and Rachel loves her to pieces, Andy too.” Harry hums his response and takes a sip of his beer. “We’ve chatted a bit, I know what she wants, so…I’m planning to propose next week.” Harry nearly chokes on his drink just as the waitress comes over with his food. “Sorry…”

“No, uh, no, uh, you just caught me by surprise.” He clears his throat. “Why are you telling me this? You want my blessing or something?”

“Sort of…look, after my wife, well…” He tears up slightly. “I never thought I’d fall in love again, and I love Paige so much. She’s been a great mother figure to Rach, not that I would let her forget her actual mother. If I’m going to be Andy’s step-dad, I wanna make sure his actual dad is okay with it.”

“Y-yeah, I’m okay with it.” Suddenly the food he was starving for made him feel sick. “Um, thanks for letting me know.”

“Of course!”

“Have you talked with her father?”

“God no.” He scoffs. “Would rather ask for forgiveness instead of permission with him. Besides, I think your blessing would mean more to her than his. I know how much she cares about you still, H.”

“Right.”

Harry does his best to make it through his lunch, but he gets most of it wrapped up, assuring Noah he just wasn’t that hungry. When he gets home, and puts his food in the fridge, he grips the counter and starts crying. He wasn’t sure what suddenly came over him, but there he was, alone in his kitchen, sobbing. It wasn’t that he wanted to be with Paige in that way, it just felt like a kick to the gut. He knew she would say yes to Noah, but she had said no to him. She didn’t love him enough to stay. She loved Noah more than him. Harry had you now, sure, but what if you’d never love him, or if you did, would you love him enough to stick it out?

//

You were very excited for your night out with Harry. You weren’t sure where he was taking you for dinner, but you wanted to look nice, so you go with a black dress that flows around your thighs. Your hair is down and wavy, and your make up is just on point tonight.

Harry: I’m here

You’re a little surprised that he didn’t ring your buzzer like he’s been doing, but you shrug it off. You’re even more surprised that he’s sitting in his car. Since you started dating he’s been waiting for you outside. You open the car door and get in.

“Hi.” You say brightly and kiss his cheek.

“Hey.” He gives you a soft smile.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, why?”

“No reason…”

He pulls onto the street and heads towards the local movie theater that wasn’t really used for normal movies. It was a place for live bands, dinner and a show, sometimes they’d show old black and white films and someone would come to play the piano live, that sort of thing.

“We’re going to the Flying Elephant?” You ask excitedly.

“Yeah, I thought it would be fun to eat and listen to some music.” He mutters.

He was off, you could tell he was trying to seem happy and excited, but something was definitely wrong. What could have happened in the last twenty-four hours? Your eyes widen you remember he had lunch with Noah yesterday, did they get into an argument?

Harry parks the car, and this time he opens the door for you like he usually would. He gives you a peck on the lips and smiles.

“You look really nice.” He says.

“Thank you.” You smile.

He leads you inside and one of the workers scans the tickets he got for the show. You follow him up to the small balcony where your table was. You had never been to an event at the Flying Elephant, but you had mentioned a couple of times that you would like to, so you thought this was very thoughtful.

“What kind of music is it tonight?”

“Jazz I think, but, like, the fun kind, big band style.”

“Oh, fun!”

A waiter comes over with your favorite bottle of white, two glasses, and a basket of bread. He says he’ll be back soon to take your order. Harry had clearly planned a lot of this out, so what was his problem?

“Got your favorite.” He smiles as you clink your glasses. “Happy birthday.”

“I see that, thank you, Harry.” You each take a sip, and then look at the menu. “Oh! They have a tofu marsala, that sounds nice.”

“I’ve had that here before, it’s really good.”

The waiter comes back and you both end up ordering the same thing. You take another sip of your wine and look around at the other people filling in. Harry’s quiet more than usual, so you decide to speak up.

“How was your lunch with Noah yesterday?”

“Huh? Oh…um, it was good.” He shrugs. “Nothing really to report.”

“So, did he just wanna hang out or something?”

“Yeah.”

“Harry…” You reach across the table and take his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Are you sure everything’s okay? We didn’t need to come tonight if something’s going on…”

“No! No, everything’s fine…I’m just in a funk I guess, I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with you, but I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Alright.” You sigh.

“I’m glad we’re here tonight, together.”

“Are you nervous about classes starting soon?”

“No.” He chuckles. “That’s, like, the least of my worries right now. Really, it’s fine, I’m just in my head about something stupid.”

“Well…if you feel like talking about it I’m here for you.” You smile softly.

“Thanks.” He gives you’re a hand a squeeze.

Luckily when your food comes out the music starts, and the tension breaks a bit. The band sounded incredible, and you both were having a wonderful time. A couple of the performers told jokes between sets, which had everyone in the audience hollering. Harry had the waiter bring a cupcake over to your table with a little candle in it for dessert. Birthdays weren’t really a bid deal to you, but it meant so much that he put so much effort in. You blow your candle out and split the cupcake with him.

“That was so much fun, thank you so much.”

“I’m glad you had a good time, babe.” He puts his hand on your thigh as he drives you back home.

You relax a little at the pet name. You desperately wanted to know what was bothering him, but you didn’t want to push him since he said he didn’t want to talk about it. He pulls up to your building and turns the car off with a sigh.

“If you don’t feel like coming up you don’t have to…”

“No, I want to. I wanna spend time with you.” He smiles and gets out of the car, and opens your door for you.

“Can I get you anything?” You ask as you get into your place.

“Just a glass of water would be great.” He says, sitting down on the couch. You fill a glass for the both of you and him his when you come to sit with him. “Thanks.” He says as he takes a sip.

“The band sounded great, I’d like to do that again sometime.”

“Definitely. They show film festivals there sometimes too. I usually give my classes extra credit if they go.”

“Fun! I love a good film festival, what do they show?”

“All of the shorts nominated for Oscars usually. All of the animated ones too, it’s great. Although, usually they’re all really somber for whatever reason.”

“People probably figure sadness will get them the nom.” You roll your eyes. “I think it takes more skill to make someone laugh, but that’s just me.”

“A lot of the comedies I’ve seen have had some of the darkest or saddest moments.”

“That’s what I’m saying! Comedies can be really gut-wrenching.” You sip your water and set it down on the coffee table. He does the same, but twiddles his thumbs.

“Har, you’re killing me.”

“Why?”

“Because something’s wrong and you’re making me nervous.”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with you…”

“I know, but you’re here with me now, and you’re not all the way here. Just talk to me, please?”

“I…it’s stupid.”

“It’s not if it’s making you feel bad.” You put your hand on his shoulder. “Whatever it is you can tell me.”

“At lunch yesterday Noah told me that he’s going to propose to Paige. He invited me out to get basically get my blessing or some shit.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Apparently they’ve spoken about it, so she’s going to say yes, which is good, they make a great couple.”

“So…what’s the problem?”

He looks at you, eyes glossy.

“I don’t know.” He whispers and shakes his head.

“Are you…sad that things are going to be so official between them?”

“Maybe…I mean, I don’t want her in that way, you have to know that, Y/N. I’m not sad because I’m in love with her or anything, those feelings have long since left, but…it just sucks, like, it’s just a reminder that I wasn’t worth sticking it out for or something. It brings back to such a shitty time in my life, you know?”

“Oh, Harry.” You rub at his back. “I’m so sorry…”

“it didn’t work for a reason, we were both really young, and she…she told me she wasn’t in love with me anymore, for whatever reason, I mean Andy was a total accident, I don’t know if she and I would have lasted with or without him. It’s not like we were a perfect match. I think we were always better as friends, but I was stubborn about it. When we hooked up those few times after things ended, that was me going to her, not her coming to me. I was so lost, you know? Look at me, it’s been over ten years, and it feel likes it happened yesterday all over again.” He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I get it, this is a big change that’s going to happen.” You chew your bottom lip. “I had a high school sweetheart, the kind that I thought I was going to be with forever and marry and have kids with. But when it came time for us to go to college we ended it to give ourselves some freedom. Well, about a month into school I go on Facebook and see he’s in a relationship with this girl that he had started talking to over the summer while we were still together. It crushed me. Now he’s married to her or whatever. It sucks when you thought you were someone’s number one, and it turns out you weren’t…but I also believe that things happen for a reason. I wasn’t meant to be with him, and maybe you weren’t meant to be with Paige. I think we all go through things on journeys that lead us to the person we’re supposed to be with.” He looks at you and blinks. “Sorry, I hate when I’m feeling like shit and someone tries to use their own story to relate because we all know that doesn’t do anyone any good, and I know I could never really know the feelings involved with having a kid with someone, but-“

He cups your cheeks and brings you close to him. He slots his mouth over yours and your eyes flutter closed. He gently sucks on your bottom lip and you groan into him. He lets go of you and smooths some hair away from your face.

“Thank you.” He smiles. “What you said did make me feel better.”

“Your feelings are valid, Harry, don’t discount them. I know it’s sort of awkward to talk to me about, but I don’t want you to feel like you’re going this alone.”

“The more I talk about it, I just feel silly. I’m happy for them, truthfully. He just sort of sprung it on me, but it all makes sense now looking back on it, like, why he’d wanna meet up alone.”

“Pretty respectful of him, not everyone would check in with the ex.”

“I know, it was really kind of him to consider my feelings. I’m sorry it put me in such a funk, I hope I didn’t ruin our evening.”

“You didn’t, it was really nice. Clearly you put a lot of effort in.” You cup his cheek and rub your thumb over his cheekbone. You peck at his lip and smile. “I think I’m too full to do anything, but if you wanna stay and cuddle…”

“I’d like that.” He smiles. “Sure you don’t mind?”

“No, I want you here. We can get cozy, watch a little TV, and pass out.”

“That sounds amazing.”

//

A couple of days later.

Andy stood there inside with Rachel watching through the glass door as Noah got down on one knee and proposed to Paige. He grimaced as he heard her squeal and nod her head yes as he slipped the ring on her finger.

“Can you believe it?! Now we’ll really be brother and sister.” Rachel beams at Andy before running outside to congratulate the two.

Paige looks around and frowns when she sees Andy walk away from the glass and further into the house.

“I’m gonna go talk to him, one second.” She says to Noah and Rachel. She goes upstairs and taps on his door before entering. “Hey.”

“Hi.” He was sitting on his bed hugging a pillow to his chest. Harry used to do the same thing. She sighs at the sight, and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on? You’re not happy for me?”

“I just don’t understand how all of this works.”

“How what works, honey?”

“Being in love. You didn’t wanna marry Dad, but you wanna marry Noah? What’s wrong with Dad?”

“Oh, Andy, nothing’s wrong with Dad. I love Dad, but…we were so young when we had you and-“

“You say that like you were sixteen, you were twenty-two mom, almost twenty-three, it’s not that young.”

“When you get to be that age maybe you’ll see that it is actually a really young age to have a baby.”

“Whatever.”

“Andy.” She sighs. “I don’t really know how to explain it, I just didn’t see a future with your Dad. I didn’t wanna be the wife of a college professor. At the time, Dad put his studies over everything and I just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I became resentful, and I fell out of love with him. I wanted something else. Noah and I have a much better connection. Dad and I are good friends, which is great and helpful when it comes to you, but I haven’t seen him as anything more in a long time. Did you think we were going to get together?”

“No, I knew you and Noah would end up getting married, I just didn’t think so soon.”

“It’s a big change, I know…but really not a lot is going to change. He’s just gonna be my husband instead of my boyfriend.”

“He’s gonna be my step-dad.”

“Sure, but you can still just call him Noah. He doesn’t expect you to call him Dad or anything.”

“Good, because Dad is who I call Dad.” He huffs. “Rachel refers to you as Mum sometimes.”

“Does that bother you?”

“It doesn’t bother you?!”

“No…I told she could call me whatever she wants. I don’t mind it. I mean…I am sort like a mom to her. Is this why you like living with Dad more? You think we’re becoming a family without you?”

“No.” He mumbles. “I like being in school with Brandon…and Dad…like, Dad knows how to do my hair the way I like, and he takes me on fun trips, and he helps me with my homework.”

“I help you with your homework.”

“Yeah, but you’re not a teacher. He knows how to explain things to me better than you, and as much as I’ve liked swimming all the time, it’s boring just going to the lake every day. I’ve barely been hiking this summer.”

“You could have told me, I would have had Dad come get you for a weekend.”

“Yeah, just for a weekend. I hate going back and forth, Mum, I hate it so much. I just wanna live in one place.”

“Well, I’m sorry, that’s just not an option. I’d miss you too much. I missed you so much last year only seeing you on weekends.”

“Yeah? How do you think Dad felt before I got to live with him?”

“Andy, don’t speak to me like that. I’m trying to-“

“Well, stop. Just stop trying.” Tears well up in his eyes. “I wanna go home now, I don’t wanna stay here for another two weeks, I wanna go home now.” Tears were streaming down his cheeks.

“Honey…I don’t know if Dad can-“

“Then call him.” He wipes tears from his eyes. “I don’t wanna be here anymore.” He looks away from Paige and it breaks her heart.

She wasn’t sure what to do. Should just give in and let him do his thing, or should she just give him what he wants. She didn’t want him to resent her, or make him think he was held hostage here.

“Okay, I’ll call your father.”

She stands up and leaves the room. She goes downstairs where Noah and Rachel are.

“Where’s Andy? I thought we could all go get ice cream to celebrate.”

“Andy wants to go home, I need to call Harry.” She grabs her phone off the counter and goes down the hall to the office.

You and Harry were out for a walk by the river to watch the sunset. It was really romantic. You had stopped to kiss each other when he felt the buzzing in his pocket. He sighs and rests his forehead against yours as he fishes his phone out of his pocket.

“It’s Paige, do you mind, babe?”

“No, go ahead.”

“Thanks.” He swipes to take the call. “Hello?”

“Hi.” She sniffles.

“Hi…um, are you alright?”

“No.” She swallows. “Andy wants to go home, to your home. He doesn’t want to wait two more weeks.”

“What happened? Is he alright?”

“He…he’s not happy with me. Um, Noah proposed…and I said yes.”

“Congratulations.” He says it sincerely, but he rolls his eyes.

“Thanks.” She sighs. “Andy and Rachel saw from inside the house, and he went right up to his room, and then he started saying all these things, and then he started crying and now I’m crying, and I…I don’t know what to do Harry, he hates me!”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“It’s like he doesn’t want me to be his mom anymore. He doesn’t want me.”

“He wants you, he just…might not want everything else.”

“That’s not fair. I deserve to be happy too. Ugh, you should have heard him. ‘Dad’s better at helping with homework. Dad takes me on fun trips’. I felt like a piece of shit.”

“You do plenty of fun things with him. He’s just…it’s a lot that’s changing.”

“Not really. The living situation is staying the same, I’ll just have a husband instead of a boyfriend. God, I wonder if he’s scared I’ll want another baby…”

“I mean…do you?”

“No! One was plenty, I’m too old.”

“You’re only thirty-four.”

“The store’s closed.”

“Okay, Paige.” Harry rolls his eyes again. You find a bench to sit down at to give him a little more privacy. “What do you want me to do, do you want me to come get him?”

“I guess so, I’m not gonna make him stay here if he doesn’t wanna be here, but I can’t not see him, Harry. We have to keep the weekend arrangements.”

“And we will. Maybe once he’s with me for a bit he’ll calm down. He’s a preteen now, maybe his hormones are starting to act up.” He runs a hand through his hair and looks over at you. “I can be there in like forty minutes, tell him to get his shit together. He’s gonna get a stern talking to, I can tell you that much.”

“Don’t angry with him.” She sniffles again.

“I can’t have him making you cry.”

“But he was crying, and-“

“You just got engaged, he could have acted better. He’s too old to be acting like that. I’ll be there soon.”

“Thank you, Harry.”

He sighs and comes over to you.

“I’m so sorry, I have to go pick up Andy, do you mind if we go?”

“Of course!”

You and Harry jump into his car and make your way to Paige’s house. When he pulls up he leaves the car running.

“Do you mind just waiting here a moment?”

“Not at all.” You smile and he nods.

He goes up to the front door and rings the bell. The door flies open and Andy practically flings himself onto Harry.

“Start putting your things in the trunk, I need to speak with your mother.”

“About what?”

“Andy.”

“Great, so you’re mad at me to?!”

“No one’s mad at you.” Paige says as she comes into view.

“Go put your things in the trunk, and then come back into the house the three of us are gonna have a chat.”

“Here, I’ll-“

“Let him do it, he wants to come home so bad, he can load his shit up.” Harry huffs and goes inside.

Andy was stunned, but he does as his dad says. When he opens the trunk he grins.

“Hi, Y/N!”

You turn around and give him a smile. A smile that says it’s good to see him, but he better not lollygag. Once Andy gets all of his things in the car, he goes inside and down to the office where Harry and Paige were waiting for him. Harry was leaning against the desk with his arms crossed, and Paige was sitting on the couch.

“I’m very disappointed in you.” Harry starts. “Your mum just got engaged, and you couldn’t even say congrats?”

“Right, because you look thrilled.” Andy scoffs. Harry and Paige look at each other and then back to Andy.

“You better check your attitude, or you’re gonna wish you were staying here. You can’t run from your problems, Andy. I’m glad you’re coming home, but it doesn’t change anything. Mum’s still marrying Noah. He’s gonna be your step-dad, and Rachel’s gonna be your step-sister. That’s just the way of it.”

“Noah loves you, Andy, and so does Rachel. I don’t understand, I mean, it’s been three years…”

“He’s not my dad, and she’s not my sister.” He huffs, crossing his own arms. “I don’t love them.” He could feel tears forming in his eyes again.

“I think…” Harry starts. “Maybe it’s time you start seeing Dr. Gardner again.”

“No!”

“Andy, you clearly have things going on that you can’t articulate to us, maybe talking to someone else could help.”

“I agree with Dad.” Paige speaks up.

“Of course you do, you’re always quick to pass me off so I don’t have to disturb your perfect life!”

“You said you wanted to go to Dad’s!” She stands up. “What did you want me to do, say no?”

“I don’t know! Even when I said I wanted to live with him you just let it happen!”

“Because you put up a fight when I even thought about saying no!”

“Whatever, I like living with him better anyways. I had the best year at school I’ve had in a long time, I have way better friends, and I can actually have a conversation with him.” He hands ball into fists. “I…I…I ha-“

“Don’t, Andy.” Harry interjects. “If you say that, there’s no taking it back.”

“God, fuck this!” Andy storms out of the room. Noah had taken Rachel for ice cream, so luckily they weren’t witnessing any of this.

“Andy!” Paige and Harry say at the same time.

“Hey!” Harry grabs Andy’s arms. He tries to yank it free, but Harry’s much stronger. “We don’t speak like that, do you understand me?”

“Stop talking to me like I’m a baby!”

“Then stop acting like one!”

“Harry.” Paige says. “Stop yelling at him. It’s not going to solve anything. Andy, you can’t speak like that to us, it’s not right. Dad and I have been breaking our backs trying to do everything we can to make you happy. We haven’t asked for much in return. I really want to marry Noah, but I won’t if it makes you that upset.”

“What?” Andy’s features soften and Harry lets go of him.

“I won’t marry him if it upsets you that much.”

“Paige…” Harry says.

“But…then you’d be unhappy, Mum.” Andy says. “I don’t want that.”

“We should have talked more about what it would mean if he and I got engaged and all that, I’m sorry I didn’t include you in those conversations.”

“I’m just confused about a lot right now…” Andy looks away. “I’m sorry for how I acted…it’s great that he wants to marry you.” He looks at Harry. “Can I still come home with you?”

“Yes.” Harry sighs. “Go get in the car, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Andy gives his mother a hug quickly, which surprises her, and then out the door he goes. Harry and Paige look at each other.

“What else do you think is going on with him?” Harry asks.

“I have no idea. I wish I did. I try to talk with him, get him to open up, but he’s very selective.”

“I’ll see if I can have a more relaxed chat with him. He’s only going into sixth grade, he shouldn’t be this moody.”

“Let me know when he wants to come back next…”

“I will. I’m sorry he spoiled everything.”

“He didn’t, they’re bringing me back a big old sundae, and I’m gonna stuff my face.” She smiles. “Look.” She holds the ring up. “Got my style just right.”

“It’s beautiful.” He smiles. “You know, Noah had a chat with me about all this, wanted my blessing and everything.”

“Really?” Her eyebrows raise. “Well, thank you for telling him it was okay.” She says facetiously. “Do you know if he spoke to my father?”

“He did not.”

“Good.” They both laugh. “Thank you…I don’t know how I’d handle him without you sometimes.”

“What are co-parents for?” He hugs her. “I’ll call you in a couple days, yeah?”

“Sounds good.”

Harry comes out to the car where you and Andy were sitting in an awkward silence.

“Sorry bout that.” Harry says as he buckles up.

“No worries.” You smile.

“Do you mind if I drop you at your place, need to have some alone time with that one.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Harry looks in the backseat, and sees Andy with his chin resting in his palm. He sighs and faces forward again. He pulls onto the street, and makes his way home. Harry drops you off, and walks you to your door.

“I’m sorry about all this.”

“Hey, it comes with the territory.” You shrug. “Shit happens.”

“I’ll have less time to spend with you sooner than I thought…”

“Harry, don’t worry about me. Once school starts we’ll see each other every day. We’ll make time for date nights later, go take care of things with him. Seems like he really needs you right now.”

Harry kisses your cheek and gets back in the car. It’s silent until they get home. This time he helps Andy with his things. Once it’s all settled, they both sit in his room to chat. They each sit crisscross, holding pillows to their chests.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Harry says softly. “I know there’s gotta be more to all this.”

“There is.” He sighs. “It’s just…I feel like everyone around me is finding their true love.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mom has Noah, you have Y/N now, and…Brandon, ugh, Brandon started dating this girl Molly…she’s in our class, and they go to the same camp, and he told me they, like, kissed, and…now I feel like he’s never gonna make time for me anymore. I always thought relationships were for adults…I didn’t know he liked girls…I don’t like girls like that…not yet anyways.”

“Oh, Andy…it’s okay that you don’t like anyone yet, and this Molly girl isn’t Brandon’s true love. Odds are they won’t last long. You’re only eleven.”

“When he called me to tell me he was so excited he had his first kiss…and I felt…sick.”

“Sick?”

“Yeah, like, my stomach felt weird like I was going to throw up, and my chest started to hurt. I thought it was my asthma, so I took my inhaler, but it didn’t help.” Harry’s eyes grow wide. Andy was describing heartbreak.

“What did you say to him when he told you?”

“I told him that it was cool or whatever…but that was a lie.”

“It made you feel achy, huh?”

“Yeah, but I don’t really know why…”

“That’s okay, you don’t need to have it all figured out right now.”

“But what if when I see him next he wants to talk about her, or he wants to invite her everywhere?”

“You just need to tell him that you’re not comfortable with it, and that you’d prefer the one on one time. If he’s really your friend he’ll understand.”

“I just wish I knew what was wrong with me.” He starts sniffling. “I hate that I’ve been so mean to mum, I feel like I’ve been taking things out on her, and I know I hurt her today.” He starts crying, and Harry pulls him into his chest.

“Come here.” Harry lays him down with him, letting Andy cry into him and so he could cuddle him easier. Arms wrapped around him tight. “When you feel up to it you can call her to apologize.”

“She must hate me.” He hiccups.

“She doesn’t, I promise.”

“I don’t want her to know about why I’ve been upset.”

“Okay, it can stay between us.” Harry rubs Andy’s back with one hand and scratches his scalp with the other. “When does Brandon get back from camp?”

“In a few days.”

“Is that why you wanted to come back here? So you could see each other?”

“And because I missed you.” He snuggles further into Harry, and it nearly breaks his heart. He couldn’t remember the last time his son let him hold him like this.

“I missed you too.”

“Are things with Y/N going well? I feel bad, I know I messed up your date.”

“Things are good, and it’s okay. We were just out for a walk by the river, nothing special.”

“Is she your girlfriend yet?” Andy yawns. Poor kid’s had a long day.

“Not exactly, but soon I think.”

Harry lays with Andy until he’s in a deep sleep. He goes to his own room and texts Paige that Andy will call her tomorrow to talk some things through. Just as he’s about to put his phone down your name pops up.

You: I know it’s none of my business, but I hope Andy’s alright…is he?

Harry: thanks for checking in, he’s doing fine. We had a good talk, he even let me lay with him a bit. Poor kid felt bad about cutting our date short

You: you’ve raised such a sweet boy, honestly

Harry: maybe you could join us for dinner here some night, I think he’d like that

You: I’d love to, just name the night and I’m there

Harry sighs happily. Other women he’s dated in the past always thought it was cute he had a kid at first, but none of them ever understood that Andy came first. You were so cool about it, and he adored you even more for checking in.

Harry: hey…I like you a lot

You: hey…I like you a lot too

[ilcaeryx]

Cascade [Gojo Satoru/Reader]

Summary: Satoru picks you up after a wild night in Tokyo’s party districts. While he’s dying to be more than your close friend, he won’t act until he’s certain you want him, too.

Tags: Gojo Satoru/Reader, Cute, Fluff, Humor, Slight angst, Nightlife, Pining, Pre-relationship

Word Count: Almost 2k

Author’s Note: Feels good to complete something. I listened to The Rose’s cover of ILYSB while writing this.

---

Gojo Satoru’s 1AM drive to one of Tokyo’s nightlife district was strictly for serious business. While he would fit into the crowd of youthful people enjoying the neon stinging their eyes and body contact with at least four strangers at all times, he had zero intentions on partying. Indeed, his sole mission was to retrieve a package – that package being you.

Lulled into rumination by the car engines constant humming, Satoru pondered about your occupation of his mind. Even though his days were busy, he would associate the concept of you with quite literally anything. Bickering with the higher ups? He could envision himself cranking up the drama as he told you the story, smiling smugly inwards at you cooking him comfort food to soothe ‘his stressful day’. Whenever something hilarious or crazy happened, he would automatically think ‘I’ll tell Y/N this later’. One would expect it would annoy him but it was not the case; Satoru was entertained by his daily fantasies, very much enthralled by the walking-on-clouds-feeling his body would produce during his mental escapades. If one Y/N thought equalled one endorphin molecule, he was experiencing a cascade.

His first thought after awakening every morning was your face between his palms, his fingers frigid against your temples. If things between you two ever developed, one day your face would be his first experience that day, every day for the rest of his life. Right now, Satoru would pin your relationship as close friends. As much as he would overinterpret your behaviour towards him, he was quite certain you were not interested in discovering whatever else could unfold between the two of you. Not yet, his positive inner self protested. Maybe never, his negative inner self retorted.

Despite his conflicting emotions, he gathered himself up into a presentable version of himself while he walked to the nightclub your friend had mentioned. Your safety was his number one priority right now, regardless if you were into him romantically or not.

~~~

“Text me when you’re home!” you yelled over the pulsating music, bidding your friend farewell by blowing her a kiss. In a dramatic motion, she caught the invisible kiss in her palm and clutched it against her chest.

“I will! Stay safe, bitch!” she screeched back before submerging into the human current outside the club, her cursed energy swashing to and fro like a solar flare.

Even though his evening had been a cozy movie-night in his bedroom, Satoru’s limbs felt heavy from looking at you. With your shoulders drooping and hands massaging your left thigh, you were finally punished from dancing non-stop all evening. Indeed, your hair clung to your forehead, neck and upper arms, intermingling with the shining perspiration on your skin. Nevertheless, you seemed to relish in whatever banger was playing inside as you were gently swaying side to side.

“I know what you’re thinking,” you said, pre-emptively shushing him with your index finger in the air. “But I’ll take a shower once I’m home.”

“I was actually thinking that I should’ve brought a towel, considering that your sweat’ll soak the car seat,” he said and tucked some slick strands away from your face. Your mortified look cracked him up. “It’s fine, I’ll lend you my jacket.”

“Your expensive-ass jacket? Thanks, I’d rather freeze to death.”

He rolled back his shoulders as he slid his jacked halfway down his back, hands still in his pockets. A little disappointment tinged his tongue. “Are you sure? I warmed it up just for you.”

“Yeah, stop stripping and let’s get the hell out of here.” You smacked his back with an open hand, pushing him onwards. “God, I can’t wait until we get home. I’m so tired. Are we going to your place?”

Let’s not read into anything, Satoru thought. ‘Anything’ meant both your off-hand comment about his place and the fact that your hand remained steady on his back even after you two joined the crowd. Physical closeness wasn’t anything new between you but the context provided another layer of complexity to read into. Suddenly, being the completely sober adult in charge seemed like too heavy a responsibility for him...

Without meaning to, his back tensed up. “No, you weirdo. You can sleep off the alcohol in your own bed.”

You either weren’t bothered by his tenseness or you didn’t notice, as you shifted your hand around his waist. You carefully leaned against his arm. “Sounds boring. Don’t you want to talk all night?”

Like always, your presence burned his arm, enough that he was unable to feel the strangers he bumped into on his other side. This was a sign, right? Or were you flirting as a friend? In the past, he had people confess their ‘love’ for him and apparently they thought his teasing and touching meant he fancied them. Being extremely lovable wasn’t easy, especially not when any platonic affection could be re-constructed as romantic by the other part. You, too, were extremely lovable and affectionate… Had he been in your shoes, this proximity wouldn’t have had any romantic subtext. But unlike him, you had a good personality… This could be the night you two finally spoke about whatever was between you two.

Or the night where you lose a friend because of your stupidity, his negativity brought up.

It had a point. Yeah, you were a good person and a terrific friend – he’d be an idiot if he lost you. Compared to his co-workers and allies, you were awfully soft; he liked how you doted on him, even when he was a pain in the ass. If you rejected him now, your dynamic wouldn’t be the same and his life would be much harder for it.

“We can talk later today,” he said, his arm automatically shooting out to stop an accidental elbow-right-into-your-chest-accident. He settled his arm around your shoulder after giving the guy the evil guy through his glasses. Watch your limbs, man.!

“That was close,” you said, sighing. “Thank you, Satoru! I’m sorry about having to call you out this late, by the way. Did I wake up you?”

He both cursed and rejoiced on the inside now that you changed subject. “Couldn’t be helped that your friend had an emergency. Next time, try to wake me up later for an early breakfast instead.”

“Next time, you’re coming with us.”

His lips faltered slightly, smile not feeling as genuine. He adjusted the collar on his jacket to hide it. “To the nightclub?”

Your index finger jabbed into his side accusingly. “Anywhere! Last time we hung out was… uh…”

This was the first time in a few weeks you two had spoken in person by yourselves. As you both mostly met together with your friends, you tended to invite him whenever the gang planned something. He admitted to himself that he often declined because he only wanted your company, but you never offered to join him instead. Whenever he invited you out, you’d be perfectly alright with hanging out just the two of you, though.

“Two weeks ago?” He squinted into the lights of an incoming car. “It’s because of work but-“

“I’m not a hikikomori, you bastard – I’ve got a job too, but I’ll make time for you, you know?”

You’d make time for anyone, Satoru thought, somewhat discouraged.

The crowd thinned out as you entered the parking lot, though the place was jam-packed with cars. Both of you remained quiet as you passed by couples on the way to Satoru’s car. When you detached yourself from his side, he rustled your hair. You stood on your tippy-toes to return the favour, messing up his hair worse than he did yours. He liked seeing you struggle to reach his head, so he didn’t mind.

“I missed you, scarecrow,” you said, pinching his cheek. He elongated his smile to feel one knuckle touch his lips. “What is the gremlin and scarecrow duo without the scarecrow?”

~~~

Slumped against the window, you were peaceful the entire ride home. Every so often, Satoru would catch a glimpse of your sleepy face and his heart would clam up. He made the right decision in picking you up, even though he aged weeks in those twenty minutes you two had spoken. Your interactions followed a pattern: he’d look forward to meeting you, creating fantasies and expectations of what could be; when you were with him, he would attempt not to ruin your current friendship to the point where he’d feel sick; and whenever you two parted, he’d overindulge in his memories. In two days, he’d be prepared to undergo this rollercoaster once again.

He drove into your street and called your name.

You immediately woke up and looked outside. “What time is it?”

“Almost 2AM…” he exhaled deeply, hands falling into his lap. He still had to drive home, so he’d be in bed in 30 minutes.

“Everything hurts,” you said, bending forward to readjust your high heels. “My legs are killing me… I won’t be able to walk tomorrow. I’m not sure I can walk now.”

He understood what the lilting tone at the end of your sentence meant and with great effort he stepped out of the car. Your giddiness as he opened the car-door on your side was intoxicating, as was the feeling of seeing you stretch your arms towards his neck. He cradled one arm below your thighs and one behind your back.

“Watch your head,” you chided softly into his ear, covering the top of his head as he carried you out of the car.

“Gimme keys.” Satoru leaned slightly backwards to account for your weight as you handed him the key to your apartment. With your bare arms against his neck, he would be surprised if you didn’t notice how his pulse rose.

Your apartment door opened and he stepped into darkness, shutting it behind his back.

“Excuse me,” he mumbled, heading for your bedroom with his shoes on. Your teeny apartment had a teeny bedroom with a single sized bed.

“Say, Satoru,” you said, your cheek pressed below his ear, “are you sure you don’t want to stay and talk?”

“Just go to sleep, Y/N.” Satoru leaned over your bed to carefully lay you down. Your grip on his neck loosened and he thought you’d comply until you kissed his neck, his soul almost as soft as your lips.

“What about now?” you asked and released your arms, falling onto your bed. Your hair spilled around you, a gloria around your tired face. “I’ll let you sleep in my bed, if you want to.”

Honestly, he wanted this. Everything he’d thought of earlier this night could become true if he gave in, which was insane enough to send his head swimming. He’d endure this cramped bed for you, even with his feet being colder than hell and his back aching from sleeping on his side. Gojo Satoru was more than ready.

However, he did not want this to backfire. What if you were simply too horny, lonely, exhausted or intoxicated to consider the consequences right now?

You rolled towards the wall, leaning on your side. Your eyelids fluttered weakly, your exhaustion almost overtaking your body and yet you found enough strength to pat the empty space beside you. “See, there’s space. I’ll always leave space for you.”

Ah, fuck it.

Satoru’s personality was bad; his attitude was self-indulgent; his morality was concrete grey; and his discipline when it came to you near non-existent. If you awoke tomorrow and found that you had fallen asleep with the love of your life – then great, you were both on the same page. If he had completely misunderstood your intentions, he would absolutely bullshit his way out of trouble, like he always did. Whatever, everything’d be alright someday.

---

If you enjoyed this, give me a like/follow/reblog/comment/scream into the void. I hope everyone had a good New Year and let’s hope that 2021 is kind.

Started this 22/11/2020, finished 10/01/2021.

[shes-ghostface]

May I get The Legion but they befriend a really loving and caring survivor who basically becomes the groups mom/big sister?

This is such a precious ask 🤍 I can certainly try! I’ve never done one like this so I’m sorry if it’s not what you were hoping for! 🤍

You had just awoke yet again from that damn black mist that surrounds you before a trial. As you looked around, you noticed you were at Ormond. It was freezing and you instantly regretted not bringing your jacket.

‘Isn’t this the place that Jeff said some teenagers hang out at?’ You thought to yourself as you walked through the snow, hearing it slightly crunch under every step as you approached the resort building. As you reached the inside you could hear the slight crackling of a fire, you hadn’t seen any other survivors as of yet so you went to check it out, if there’s warmth anywhere in this place at least one of them has gotta be there, right?

Right you were, you seen the silhouette of somebody sitting in front of the flames, but you couldn’t make out who it was yet as they had their back to you and their hood up. They were male, that much you could make out but you didn’t remember seeing any of the survivors putting a hoodie on when you were all preparing for your trial. You shrugged your shoulders and gathered it wasn’t that big of a deal.

You approached the hooded figure, preparing to sit down next to them. “Cold day huh?” He asks, with a slight laugh. “Yeah, I wish I’d brought my jacket. This place is always cold, but I don’t mind it. It beats the humid and clammy farm.” You reply, looking over at him to see his reaction. He just laughs, “Yeah, I like the cold. Been accustomed to it for years.” He states. You look at his face, trying to pinpoint if you had ever seen him before, you really couldn’t remember this guy but he gave off a good vibe so you decided to chat a little longer, considering there was no killer nearby as of yet.

“Have you seen who the killer is yet? I haven’t seen or heard them or the other two survivors.” You ask, trying to get another conversation going. “No idea, maybe it’s a stealth killer and the other two are just playing passive.” He replies, to which you ask “Maybe, well I’m gonna try get this gen done, you can help me if you’d like? Or you can go try find the other two see if they need help with anything?” He looks up at you with a smirk, “I’ll go find the other two, see you soon.”

Before you could even reply he was vaulting through one of the windows. ‘What a strange guy’ you thought to yourself as you started to work on the resorts generator. You couldn’t stop thinking about who that guy was and why you couldn’t remember him. When you got back to the campfire you would have to try find him and get to know him better, he seemed pretty cool after all.

Before you could even keep the thoughts running through your mind, the generator roared to life. You must have been that lost in thought you didn’t even notice two of your other survivors had been mori’d. “Was I really that deep in thought? I need to find that guy before it’s too late.” You said to yourself, there was only 2 generators left to pop so one of the other survivors had been cranking gens, you hoped it was that new guy. Hopefully you can both escape together, you kept saying to yourself as you stepped back out into the skin biting blizzard outside.

As you were heading towards the killer shack to one of the last gens, you heard a scream, but it was a woman’s. You turned fast on your heel, sprinting towards where it came from. As you reached the area your heart started to race and even in this teeth chattering cold, your skin was getting clammy, the killer was close.

You heard the mori happening just on the other side of the wall as you stepped back through the doorway into the resort, you couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be? Could it? As you peered around the corner, you saw the same hooded figure from earlier getting up from the ground and wiping the blood from his knife onto his leather jacket. You let out a gasp, you couldn’t help it. The shock was too much, he whipped his eyes towards you and you stumbled back, right into the reception counter of the resort.

“It was you? All along? Why didn’t you just kill me earlier, back at the fire?” You asked, in an angry but anxious tone. He let out a smug laugh under his weird smiling mask. “Because, you’re the only survivor who didn’t just run from me. You actually had a conversation with me, some days I just don’t wanna kill you know? Killers have off days too. It was nice to just be normal, even if it was only for a brief time.” He replies.

You look at him, he doesn’t look like he’s going to harm you any time soon. You let your guard down slightly, hoping not to regret it. “So what now? Are you gonna kill me?” You ask him, to which he takes his mask off, shaking his head. “No, I won’t kill you. You seem cool, and I’d actually like to talk to you some more. And I think the others would too, they keep asking for another person to hang with us.” You look at him with a slight frown, “Others? There’s more of you?” You ask him, to which he laughs and replies “Just trust me, meet me here after the trial, around 6pm. I’ll introduce you to the group, the hatch is just outside. If you’re not there within 10 minutes then I’ll get the message.” You were about to reply but before you could, he sprinted away. You had never seen a killer run so fast. Your mind was going a hundred miles per hour, ‘the others’ kept playing over and over in your mind, they must be the teenagers that Jeff had told you about. You soon made it to the hatch and off you went, back to the campfire.

As you arrived, the other survivors weren’t around. The majority of them must be in other trials and the ones that were in your previous trial were probably healing up near the river. So off you went, it was already 5:30pm so by the time you reached the Ormond realm it would be nearing 6pm.

It felt like hours that you were walking through the gloomy damp woods, until you felt that blustery air nipping at your skin once again. You were close. It was just after 6pm, as you neared the Ormond Resort entrance you seen him. The hooded guy, you still don’t know his name. ‘I gotta ask for it as soon as possible. Who doesn’t ask someone’s name straight away?’ You thought to yourself, rolling your eyes.

“You’re finally here!” You hear him shout, he actually seems excited about this. It was nice, a lot of the time the rest of the survivors are all doom and gloom because of trials and how bad they’ve been hurt. It was heartwarming to hear someone actually happy for once. You approached him with a smile, “Yeah! I’m here, what’s your name? I’m sorry I didn’t ask earlier, I don’t know why I didn’t.” He laughs, “The names Frank, now let’s get inside and meet the others.” He says as he motions his arms towards the doorway, you step in and the heat hits you instantly. You hear faint music getting louder the further inside you get, it’s that song called ‘Heads Will Roll’. You hadn’t heard that song in years.. You look to Frank and he’s already in front of you, motioning you to go into the main part of the resort with the fireplace from earlier.

As you step in you see three people, one girl has blonde hair, shaven on one side and looks quite tall, by her body language she seems really confident. The other girl has pink hair and looks slightly shorter, by the way she’s standing she seems timid. The guy had his hood up but you could make out a slight goatee and is about the same height as Frank, by the looks of him he seems the most chill one. You look to Frank, studying him. He had deep brown eyes and brown hair, with a neck tattoo. ‘Who did that? Is he even of age to get a tattoo?’ You thought to yourself.

Frank suddenly snaps you out of your daze, he tells you the groups names. You learn that the tall girl is Julie, the pink haired girl is Susie and the hooded guy is Joey. Before you can even introduce yourself you hear Frank shout “So guys this is who I was telling you about!” All three look over to you, you smile and before you can say hello, Julie shouts “Hey newbie, nice to finally meet you. Come over here and chill with us, we got snacks and drinks if you want any. Just help yourself!” As you’re walking towards them, Susie approaches you coyly. “Hey, it’s nice to meet you! I hope we don’t seem too intimidating, we just don’t get a lot of compan-“ before she can finish her sentence, Joey comes over and puts his arms around you both, leading you to the seating area, “Nice to meet you man! Come sit, I’m in charge of the boombox so if you have any requests come to me and I’ll look through our tapes to see if we have it!” Joey boasts.

You couldn’t believe how nice they all were, it was so different to being sat back at the survivors camp. As you sat down you grabbed a can of soda, looking at all four of them being all hyper and chatty. Julie asked if you were okay to play truth or dare, to which you accepted and thankfully so. You learned a lot about the group, who you now know as ‘The Legion’ due to you asking what the graffiti at the top of the stairs was. You also learned that Frank had a rough family life before the realm, so he sees The Legion as his only family. Julie is the hairstylist and tattooist, she told you that if you wanted a new look she’s your girl. Joey is the musician and fitness fanatic, if you want to tone up or get really fit he’s gonna be the one to help you. And you learned Susie is the medic and beauty girl. She takes care of all the wounds and can make you look like a 10, even in the entities realm.

You noticed Frank was drinking quite a lot, he started to get even louder than he was to begin with but then he suddenly crashed down on the sofa next to Joey and all four of you looked at him. He let out a sigh, “No one is ever nice to us. It’s always us four who are seen as the outcasts because we’re so young and rowdy. The other killers find us annoying and the survivors just think they can be toxic to us during trials. It gets lonely here, I wanted to bring you here so you could see we’re just like anyone else. We’re just trying to get through everyday without pissing the entity off.” You look at him, he looks really down about this. Susie starts to fidget and adds, “We don’t get a lot of company, it’s like now that you’re here a hole has been filled. I know it’s only been a few hours but we don’t get any visitors and it means the world to us that you even want to stay in the first place.” Joey and Julie don’t say anything, they just look at you wide eyed, with smiles. Like children looking to their parent for reassurance. “Well you guys know if I didn’t want to be here I’d already be gone, I love chilling with you all. It’s so different than having to deal with the low mood back at survivor camp, I’d come here every day if I could.” You tell them, to which all their faces light up. Before any of them can say anything, you hear the clock chime 11pm.

You were having that much of a good time with them you didn’t notice how late it was, if you stayed past midnight the entity would punish both the killers and survivors who broke the rule.

“I have to go guys, it’s getting late.” You state, standing up out of your seat next to Susie. “Damn it’s that time already?” Joey asks. “Time flies when you’re having fun so they say.” Julie adds, Susie gets up and gives you a hug goodbye, “You’ll come back won’t you? It’s been awesome having you around, even just for a few hours.” You hug her back and smile, “Of course I’ll be back.”

You say goodbye to the other three, to which they all give you a hug and tell you that they can’t wait for the next time you all hang out.

Months went on and every single day you went to visit The Legion, every day that passed, you spent less and less time at the survivor camp. To which you didn’t miss at all.

Most days consisted of you all hanging around the resort fire, playing boards games and truth or dare. You always talked about your trials, mainly about which survivors didn’t make it and what killers you juked.

Other days you would watch Julie give Frank some new tattoos and watch him grit his teeth in pain if she pressed a little too hard, on purpose that is. Every time she did it she had a smirk on her face, your time with Julie was always chill. You would always gossip about killers and survivors whilst doing each other’s hair and she would ask you advice on what to do to catch survivors who are looping her and other times she would ask you for relationship advice. She would often show you her new sketches of her tattoo ideas, she was an amazing artist. She told you her dream job before the realm was to be a tattoo artist, so in the realm she uses Frank as her canvas. She would always show her true feelings to you after a few hours of talking, she knew she could cry around you because you wouldn’t judge her on anything. And if she got too sad you would always make her favourite drink, which was Monster Energy mixed with rum. You really didn’t see the appeal but she always appreciated it and drank it within 5 minutes and always seemed to pick up after that and a sisterly hug from you. After the first week of hanging out with Julie, she gave you one of her earrings to keep. She said that maybe it would help you have more confidence in trials by reminding you that no matter what happens, she is always there and will have your back.

Your time with Frank is always therapeutic in a weird way, if he isn’t getting tattooed he’s wrecking some part of the resort just because he can. He let’s you join in and get your anger of toxic trials out by letting you break snowboards and set them alight, or throw his knife at targets and slice at the dummy’s that are out in the ‘garden’ area of the resort. You can always vent to Frank and he can always vent to you, nothing is hidden between the two of you. He often talks about how he would have loved to have been a stuntman for movies back in the normal world because he lives for the adrenaline rush of things. You both also know each other’s crushes inside the realm and often joke about who you ship one another with the most. He always pairs you with your least favourite killer and to be snarky you always pair him with the survivors who loop him the most. You also race each other around the resort to try prove who’s the fastest, you have the classic sibling rivalry with Frank. He’s like the little brother you never thought you would have in the realm and you both live to annoy one another. The keepsake Frank gave you was one of his old band tees that doesn’t fit him anymore, it was a Hollywood Undead tee. He always blasted them from his Walkman, soon as you neared his room to you could hear one of their songs coming through his headphones. To which you would rip it off his head and startle him.

You never stop laughing with Joey, he is such a joker and always knows how to cheer you up after a rough trial. After a while he put all your favourite songs on a mixtape that he made for you, to which he wrote ‘Big Sis’ with a heart next to it on the label. You have no idea how he got the songs in the realm but you both jammed out all day to it. He fixed up his old cassette player for you so that you could take it back to the survivor camp and play it, he had to show you how to use it of course. You were used to CD players and MP3’s. He also helps you out when it comes to trials by letting you train with him, he taught you how to loop killers for longer by chasing you to build both his and your stamina up. He told you that if he could’ve stayed in the normal world, he would have trained to be a professional boxer to compete in the Olympics. Joey is a softie, he talks to you about anything and everything. He often talks about his past and his family, saying how much he misses them and wonders if they still think of him. You always reassure him by telling him they could never forget a guy like him, but he has his new family here with you and the other three. If he gets too upset you always have his favourite snack to pull out of your pocket and give to him. Joey LOVES food, you learned that when you went to clear his room out whilst he was on a trial and you found tons of empty chocolate bar wrappers and potato chip packets in his top drawer. You and Joey often arm wrestle and it gets super competitive, whoever wins gets to be the boombox DJ the night after.

Susie looks up to you a lot, as she’s healing your wounds after trials she always asks how you can be so strong, especially when it comes to facing killers and getting hurt. The most she gets hurt is from pallet stuns and slight punctures for decisive strikes, when you come back you have holes from the hook piercing through you and slashes all over your body. She finds it hardest when you come back after getting mori’d, especially by Kazan... She never had a big sister before the entities realm. She told you she has always wanted one and you were everything she ever needed in a sister. Susie is the most emotional of the five of you, she often comes back from trials and cries on your shoulder about toxic survivors whilst you rub her back. To cheer her up you tell her she can give you a makeover and that you will do hers in return. Susie is really pretty, if the entity didn’t take her she would have been the beauty queen of her high school for sure. She told you she would have been a beautician if she hadn’t been taken. This often makes her sad too but you get her back to her cheerful self when you ask her to do a certain makeup look on you. She loves that you like her makeup styles, it gives her the confidence she needs. Susie was always making something in her room, one time you went to see her and seen that she was making some kind of bracelet. She noticed you in the doorway and ushered you in. “It’s almost ready! Me and the other three have one already, it’s a friendship bracelet! I made it your favourite colour.” She snipped the last few strands away and placed it on your wrist. As you lifted it to your face to study it, you noticed it had your initials engraved on the small metal plaque and underneath your initials it had ‘The Legion’. They truly did see you as one of them now and it was so heartwarming for you. “Thank you Susie! It’s absolutely beautiful, I’ll never take it off.” Susies face lit up, her huge smile revealing her braces.

If any killers are too brutal with you, you best believe these four will mess with them by taking things from their realms or hiding their weapons so they’re late for trials and get punished by the entity. Frank and Julie are the aggressive ones so a lot of the time they go to fight the killers and often lose, especially if it’s Michael or Kazan. You always know when they’ve had a fight because when you reach the resort you see the bloodstains in the snow leading to the doorway. If you get there in time you always help Susie tend to their wounds and thankfully, due to the miraculous healing speed in the realm, they’re back to normal within an hour.

Anytime you’re around the survivor camp you always get snide comments about how you’re a traitor, these same survivors always screw you over in trials by using diversion near you and not getting you off the hook. You always tell The Legion which survivors do this and every trial that they go against those survivors, they tunnel and mori them to make them suffer and hate the trial even more.

You also won’t ever help the survivors that are toxic to The Legion during trials. You will make sure the killer knows where they are by fast vaulting around them and you will never attempt to get them off of the hook.

If you go against any of The Legion, they always let you get hatch at the end of the trial and you purposely don’t do generators just to give them more time to find the other survivors. It gets them good treatment from the entity.

No one messes with you or any of The Legion and gets away with it. Having a family in the realm was something you never thought you would have, but with Frank, Julie, Susie and Joey, you have never felt more at home.

I hope this was okay! I’m sorry it was really late too, I’ve been dealing with a loss but I’m finally starting to feel okay again! Thank you for the ask, I really appreciate it! 🤍

[sparkkeyper]

Variations on a Theme

I’ve been working on this one for a while and finally managed to finish it up for the Ace Omens discord prompt - Dancing.

The music I had on repeat while writing the second half was “So Close” from Enchanted. I like to imagine the record they end up with is one of those piano-only arrangements of it.

Also, you can’t tell me that Crowley didn’t jam to every Top 40 since music charts were invented.

(Now on AO3!)

---------------------------

"You mean you've only danced the gavotte?"

Crowley's sunglasses were barely hanging on to his nose as it was, what with the both of them being several drinks into their first bottle of the night. It didn't take many to banish the glasses these days, not when the pair of them were nestled comfortably in the back room of the bookshop, the failed Armageddon several weeks behind them. The demon stared incredulously over the tinted lenses as Aziraphale straightened from where he had begun to slouch with his wine.

"And why is that such a surprise? Angels don't usually dance at all."

"Yeah but you're not a 'usually' angel, you're you!" Crowley waved a hand wildly but did his glasses the mercy of setting them on the end table before they could fall. "You like the...the singing and the harmonizing and stuff. Humans have been moving to music since the Beginning and you really never, ever wanted to learn?"

"I did learn," the angel pointed out.

"Never wanted to learn more than the one?" Crowley amended. "Just the one in six thousand years?"

"It just didn't strike me as something I wanted to try," Aziraphale shrugged and refilled his wine glass. "The humans seemed to enjoy it sure enough, but it looked like such a hassle to attempt."

"A hassle!" Crowley threw his head back and grabbed his hair, and goodness did Aziraphale love to watch him wax dramatic when embroiled in a topic he was passionate about. "Dancing a hassle! Dancing a ha- It's not a job, angel, it's for fun!"

"Yes but in order for one to dance well, one must put in a certain amount of work."

"It's not about dancing well, it's about letting loose." Crowley rolled his eyes, stalking over to the angel's record collection next to the gramophone. "Unless you're in a professional stage company, you're not required to dance well."

"Somehow that sentiment isn't the least bit surprising coming from you."

"Oi, I'll have you know I'm an excellent dancer even though I'm not required to be. Come on, there's got to be something in here you can dance to."

"I don't know the proper steps to anything else."

"Bah, steps!" Crowley waved him off. "Don't need steps. Just make it up."

"I most certainly cannot."

"You most certainly can so. Oh for Satan's sake-" Crowley gave up his hunt and snapped, materializing a record in the gramophone and giving the handle a few solid cranks. "There we go!" His shoulders began moving to a heavy clapping beat that had definitely never been released on 78.

He turned back to Aziraphale, a grin on his face as his hips twitched to the music. "No steps, see? Just freestyle it. Come on, off the sofa, let's see it."

"This hit, that ice cold,

Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold,

This one for them hood girls,

Them good girls, straight masterpieces-"

He made a get-up gesture and Aziraphale rose uncertainly. "I really don't think I know what to do with this-"

"Don't have to, that's the best part. Just move to the beat. "

Aziraphale tried to imitate his friend, he really did, but there was no pattern to follow. One moment the movement was in Crowley's shoulders, the next it was in his hips, and now his feet were acting out a stomp-like rhythm on the carpet. It was a fascinating thing to watch, how dancing seemed to take over his entire corporation. With the gavotte, one's back remained quite straight. There was a level of control and skill to it that Aziraphale had greatly enjoyed: maintaining some parts of yourself in position while moving others. But with Crowley's dancing, the entire line of his body twisted and flowed. A movement that started in his neck might end in an arm, or maybe it would travel up one leg and come back down the other. He made it look effortless, like it took no thought at all.

"I'm too hot! Hot damn!

Call the police and the fireman.

I'm too hot! Hot damn!

Make a dragon wanna retire, man-"

The demon's eyes flicked over his stilted attempts to copy the motions and Aziraphale watched him bite back a smirk. "No, angel?"

"Perhaps it's this century's music - goodness, there's not much melody, is there? - but I really don't understand this sort of dancing."

"Not much to understand, really, but here. We'll step it back a few decades." He snapped again and a new record appeared in his hand, which was quickly swapped out for the one on the gramophone.

Crowley snapped his fingers to the beat, hips moving in time. "Oh, don't give me that look. You can't possibly dislike Bill Haley and His Comets."

"One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock.

Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, rock.

Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, rock.

We're gonna rock! Around! The clock tonight!

Put your glad rags on and join me, hon',

We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one-"

"It's not that I dislike it..." Aziraphale did his best to imitate the hip thing, and the demon's stifled snort told him exactly how unsuccessful he was at it. "I just don't...connect with this style of dance, I suppose. That's the only way I know how to put it."

"So try your own style. It's not a right and wrong, it's just whatever motion speaks to you." Crowley threw his torso into a shimmy and goodness, what were his knees even doing? Aziraphale gave up trying to copy any of it.

"That's just it! Motions don't 'speak to me'. Dancing isn't...isn't...aimlessly gyrating! It's about form and style - about using form and style to bring the music to life. There's a language to it the same way there's a language to literature. Every kick and dip and bow means something and it's all spoken into being through movement! But there needs to be a form in order for that to happen."

"No no, that's the problem! That's so limiting! So much of the universe is already made up of forms and rules!" Crowley threw his hands up to encompass the heavens. "Laws and etiquette and physics, everywhere! Inescapable! Dancing is freedom! Music is emotion distilled down into pure audio form precisely so you can do what you want with it! How does it make you feel? What does it make you want? You take it and you process it and you feel it and move however it moves you! It's speaking, yes, but in a way no one else has control over! The thing about dancing is you get to be purely you, no matter what anybody else wants."

"I already am me," Aziraphale insisted. "And I like knowing what movement comes next. I like having straightforward expectations to fulfill. That's what's satisfying - completing the steps and knowing you've gotten them right!"

The moment stretched out between them as they both let this soak in. Somewhere along the way, the gramophone had made the executive decision to go silent.

"Certainly can't fault you for that," Crowley said slowly. "Preferring a solid plan. Expectations outlined and all. It's very you."

"Nor, I suppose, could I fault you for preferring more freedom in your movement. You've always had a penchant for finding new ways to express yourself. What with the clothes and the hair and all." Aziraphale fidgeted with the corner of his waistcoat absently. "It suits you, it really does. But not me. If that were my only option, I'd rather not dance at all." He shook himself with a tiny smile and sat back in his armchair. "Ah well. I had a good run with the gavotte, anyway. Got a few good decades out of it."

Crowley pursed his lips for a few moments, then switched the record again to fill the room with a smooth piano. "Can't have that, though, can we? One dance goes out of style and you're done? I don't think so. Come on, angel, get back up." He made a come-here motion until Aziraphale stood again.

"Look, I'm really not-"

"You want defined steps? I'll give you defined steps."

Aziraphale paused, considering. "What sort is it?"

"Easy one. Simple, can use it for a lot of dances. Waltz, foxtrot, all kinds of things."

Aziraphale chewed on his lip. He wasn't anxious to make a fool of himself stumbling over a completely unfamiliar style. But goodness, he missed dancing.

Crowley held out a hand to him. It was a hesitant thing, far enough out to be an offering but close enough in to be passed off as a casual gesture if it went unaccepted.

Aziraphale braced himself and accepted it. "Right. So how does this work?"

"Easy. Here, I'll lead. So you just - hand here... Other hand here..." Crowley positioned Aziraphale's right hand on his shoulder and loosely grasped his left. They stood like that together for a moment, a good distance apart so the angel could look down at his shoes. "And I step like this..." Crowley moved one foot forward. "So you step backwards to match me. Go on, then."

Aziraphale stepped as instructed.

"Right. And then I move here -" His other foot came forward and to the side - "And yours comes back and over along the same route. Yep. Now feet together, like they were at the start. Good?"

Aziraphale made certain he had his balance and nodded.

"Good. Now I step back, like you did, and you come forward this time... No no, leave your other foot there. Right. Now bring your other foot forward as mine comes back and over. Just stepping in a big square, that's all we're doing. And feet back at the start. Make sense?"

Aziraphale pulled in a deep breath. "Simple enough in theory."

"Here, we'll try it again. Back-two. Side-two. Forward-two. Side-two...that's right. Now we just add a bit of a turn to it and that's all it is. Like this... Back-two, side-two-"

Aziraphale clutched at him as they worked their way around the room to the music. (The furniture wisely backed itself up to give them space, twisting physics occasionally to avoid being tripped over.) The problem wasn't the steps, exactly. It was combining the steps with everything else: holding tight to Crowley to keep his balance while still trying to keep enough distance to give his legs room to work, figuring out which foot to have his weight on and when, incorporating the dratted turn into the rest of it, moving precisely in time with Crowley so that they didn't step on each other.

Humans had so many pieces to keep track of. So many parts moving a specific distance at the same time. He'd been in this corporation for thousands of years and usually had an excellent handle on how it operated, but that only made new movement patterns more difficult to master. It took so much work for him to commit such things to muscle memory. Each misstep threw his rhythm off and dammit, there, he was so close to overbalancing them both -

But Crowley kept him in place.

Crowley's palm rested just under his right shoulder blade, guiding the motion of his body through space. Holding him so steady even when he felt himself floundering. Wasn't that always the way? he thought distantly, eyes trained on his feet. Even after stepping repeatedly on the demon's toes (and heels, and instep, and in one spectacular fumble the back of his left knee) Crowley was a solid anchor keeping him upright.

Dancing of any variety did not come naturally to Aziraphale. Angels were built to be sturdy, immovable. It had taken him ages to make any headway at all with the gavotte. But Crowley didn't seem to mind. He chuckled a bit when Aziraphale stepped too early. He murmured advice, a smile on his lips. And his eyes sparkled. Goodness, how they sparkled.

Letting the music wash over him, Aziraphale put his trust in Crowley. Let the demon guide him here in their own little circle. Slowly, slowly, he was getting the hang of the steps - treading on toes less at any rate. It was nice, dancing like this, it really was...

And then Crowley spun him.

He didn't realize what was happening until it was practically over. The motion of Crowley's arm coming up and turning guided his whole body smoothly around and he clicked back into place against the demon like he was never meant to be anywhere else.

Aziraphale's feet faltered to a stop, eyes wide and all steps forgotten.

Crowley froze with him. "Too much?" he asked quietly.

"I - I..." Aziraphale felt like he was still spinning, heart beating entirely too fast. "I don't..."

"Too much," Crowley answered himself, releasing his hold and taking a step back. "Thought I might try mixing it up, but I misjudged. Won't do it again."

"Mixing it...oh. Of course." Aziraphale looked down at the space between them. It was barely two feet but it suddenly seemed so much farther. "This is holding you back, isn't it? This repetitive step. You'd much rather be improvising."

"I...well I didn't say that..."

"Like you said before. You'd prefer to let the music move you rather than be limited to a predetermined pattern. I can understand that even if I can't relate. You shouldn't be beholden to this."

"It's good," Crowley blurted out, making the angel pause. "For music like this. The down-tempo, largo stuff. This is a good way to dance to it. I like it." He swallowed hard and tried for a nonchalant shrug. "I mean, don't ask me to dance like this to Uptown Funk but for this style it's...y'know. It's good."

"Right. Good." Aziraphale fidgeted, hands feeling incredibly empty. "I admit, I'm very much out of my depth here. Angels don't... I don't know what I'm doing.”

"We can stop. No sense pushing it."

"I didn't say... I'll get used to it."

"You don't have to get used to anything you don't want to." Crowley made to step back but Aziraphale, in an instant of panic, stepped forward after him.

"I want to!"

Silence stretched between them, broken only by the soft piano. Crowley stood frozen, as though his next movement required the most careful consideration of his life.

Aziraphale steeled himself and raised his hands back to their dancing positions. "Please."

The demon looked over the two of them and very hesitantly replaced his hands, as though doing so might scare the angel off.

They stood there for a long time. Not moving, just holding on to each other with the breathless tension of men on the gallows, waiting for the trap door to open beneath them.

Aziraphale pulled in a deep, steadying breath. "I'm afraid it's going to take a long time for me to get this right. All of this. I'm not very good at this sort of thing when I don't know the steps."

"Take all the time you need," Crowley replied softly. "I'm just sort of making it up as I go, honestly."

"It might be very long. I can't improvise as easily as you can."

"I wouldn't expect you to." The demon tightened his grip ever so slightly and Aziraphale suddenly couldn't conceive of pulling away. "No spinning, promise."

"I - I didn't say that." Fingers itched to trace a familiar nervous pattern - straighten bowtie, adjust waistcoat. They tightened in Crowley's hands instead. "Just...warn me before you do. Let me prepare."

"I can do that, yeah." The demon held him so carefully, as though giving him every chance to break away, and started them off into their pattern once more.

The hesitant grip grew more sure with each rotation around the room, and it was impossible to tell if it was one or both of them. Each successful round of the sequence made Aziraphale feel a little bolder. It was the reassurance of a task set and completed: the very ancient satisfaction of expectations met. That desire had been ingrained in his bones since bones were invented and in a way it calmed him. There was so much he suddenly felt unprepared for but at least he could do this. 

He wasn’t successful every time, of course. He still fumbled, still trod on snakeskin shoes. But the guiding hand was back under his shoulder blade and God, did it make a world of difference. It stayed with him through each failed attempt and carried him through to try again. Any wrong positioning of his legs seemed less important when he was sure Crowley would keep him where he needed to be. 

He could see the tension draining from the demon as well. The sense that he was holding something fragile and afraid to break it was melting slowly back into the confident strides Aziraphale had seen from the start. The lines of motion flowed through him the way they had earlier, though more predictably at present. He was still amazing to watch, all moving lines and sharp joints. Aziraphale blamed more than one stagger on it.

"All right if I spin you?"

The angel braced himself. "All right."

"'Kay. Three, two-" Crowley twirled him again and for a single, dazzling moment it felt like flying. It felt free and easy and the most natural thing in the world -

And then he stumbled over his own feet coming back in and nearly collapsed against the demon's chest and drat, now he'd lost all the steps-

"Forward-two, right-two, back-two, you've got it, come on, forward-two -"

Aziraphale clung to the instructions and managed to get back on track within an eight-count, concentrating fiercely on the movements of their feet together.

"That's what I'm talking about. Look at you. Angel dancing something other than the gavotte. Who would have thought, eh?"

"Who indeed." There was a warm fluttering in his chest. So much to keep track of with these human bodies.

He was still going to need a lot of time and a lot of practice. He had a feeling there was a lot of unknown territory ahead regarding the two of them.

But he had Crowley to keep him steady. So they’d be all right.

[beels-burger-babe]

I Love Him (Chapter One -DRAFT)

***S-So um...I felt bad for not having any Obey Me content to give you guys tonight, and instead thought th-that maybe instead of nothing you would like a sneak peek at my novel that I have previously mentioned, I Love Him.

What I'm showing you is the current draft of the first chapter. I haven't really touched it in a few months but um...I-I hope you like it?)***

Chapter One

“Bullocks”

Arthur Howell glared at the closed sign hanging on the door in front of him. Up until this point, his grocery run had been fairly pleasant, but now he supposed he’d have to find another place to buy his baked goods until the owners reopened in February.

A fantastic start to 1958. Arthur thought bitterly to himself as he shivered in the cold winter air.

Arthur looked around for a solution to his dilemma, but all his eyes found were more of the grey, stoned streets of central London and its citizens. He sighed and ran a hand through his slicked blond hair in frustration when a subtle scent reached his nose.

Wisps of fragrant pastries and other confections danced in the air, standing out against the usual perfume of damp fog and pollution. In a split decision, Arthur quickly began to follow the scent.

It was only after five minutes of walking did a rose-shaped, white sign hanging off a two-story apartment come into his view. In a hand-painted, feminine font it read “Blooming Confections.”

A small bell went off above his head as he entered, and he nearly ran into a group of giggling schoolgirls, each with a freshly baked biscuit in hand. Arthur narrowed his eyebrows at them and then took in his surroundings; his eyes widened as he did.

The room was well lit and seemed to emanate a warm welcoming glow that bounced off its cream-coloured walls. A few people sat conversing peacefully; they all had gentle smiles on their faces as they enjoyed whichever treat they had ordered. The smell of delicate pastries and sweetbreads swirled in harmony with the scent of brewed coffee and the faintest traces of the herbs hanging to dry over the front counter. Arthur stood in awe. How had he never heard of this little slice of heaven before?

Arthur heard a door close. A man in a polo shirt and navy apron came out from the back to stand behind the cash register. He wiped flour-covered hands on a cloth before flicking it onto his shoulder and looking up. The cashier’s chestnut eyes met Arthur’s hazel ones.

“Welcome to Blooming Confections. How can we help you today?”

Arthur stared, and he stared, and he said nothing. A single spiral of brunette curls rested just off-center of the cashier’s forehead. The light from the window to their right created the illusion of a copper halo framing his head. The man quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head ever so slightly. Arthur cleared his throat and forced his attention to the chalkboard menu behind the cashier, as though he hadn’t decided his order yet.

Which was not true. Arthur needed two loaves of white bread and nothing more.

It had been a ritual of sorts ever since he had turned sixteen and gained the ability to travel on his own. Every second Friday, Arthur would wake up, be served breakfast by the family servants, and then ignore whatever tasks his father may have set upon him to go downtown and fetch some groceries; included in those groceries were always two loaves of white bread. However, that bit of information had been replaced with all kinds of thoughts about the cute cashier in front of him.

By God, this man was adorable.

“First time?” Arthur’s attention snapped back to the other man as his cheeks flushed at the man’s words. He must have misheard him. This stranger couldn’t be implying such a thing in public, could he? The cashier simply smiled at him patiently. “It can be overwhelming. I mean, there are seven kinds of bread and four of them look the same. How’s a bloke supposed to tell them apart?” The man turned to a display case to the left of him attached to the front counter, and Arthur’s shoulder slumped in a mix of relief and embarrassment at the clarification. “That is if you’re here for bread. Could I interest you in a white or brown loaf?” He gestured to where the two sat in the case, “Though you could always be looking for sweets. We’ve all kinds, so just take a look, see what you like and let me know when you’re ready.”

Arthur stuffed his hands in his pockets and stiffly nodded. He had officially decided that no, he would not be leaving with just two loaves of bread. That would mean that this experience would be over much too quickly. He didn’t even know the cashier’s name yet. “I’m afraid that I can’t quite make up my mind. Any recommendations, sir?” He tried to ask politely.

The man scoffed slightly. “No need to call me sir. I’m Charles. My mother, Rose Davies, and I run this bakery.” Charles’s chin rose slightly and stared at Arthur as though daring him to mock the statement. Arthur quirked an eyebrow at his defensive state.

In hopes of getting the man to ease up, Arthur offered him a smile. “Then I must compliment you on the fine establishment you run, Mr. Davies. I’m Arthur, by the way. Arthur Howell.”

Arthur could only watch as the baker’s eyes widened at the surname and he took note of the expensive suit that Arthur wore. Arthur had no doubt that Charles realized exactly who the man in front of him was; the Arthur Howell, son of Anita and Edmund Howell and, therefore, heir of Howell Corporation. The conglomerate business was hugely successful, though his father held the reputation of a cold shark who did what he pleased without regard towards others. As a result, those in the lower classes, his father’s victims more often than not, tended to hold disdain towards the Howell name.

The young Howell tensed and prepared himself to be insulted or shouted at, but found himself pleasantly surprised as the baker merely grinned at him. “Thank you, Mr. Howell. Now, what can I help you with?”

Arthur was shocked to find a ball of warmth growing within him at the stranger’s acceptance and distracted himself by kneeling in front of the display case. “Did you help bake these?”

Charles nodded, “I bake the first batch of everything in the morning before Mum takes over. I’d rather be in the kitchen all day, but she claims that it’s better for business if I’m at the front counter. Never quite understood what she meant by that.”

Arthur knew; she meant that her son was fit and that those school girls he had run into on the way in were probably here to get a peek at the cashier’s toned biceps more than anything else. Mrs. Rose Davies was a very smart woman.

Charles shook his head and looked back at Arthur, “But you had asked about recommendations, yes?” Arthur nodded as Charles leaned onto the top of the display case to see what was all there. “Well, I personally love the banana muffins. They’re not too sweet, but just enough to end any cravings. They were my favourite when I was a kid, but I haven’t tried any in a little bit. Ever since I started baking regularly, I’ve kind of formed a disdain for all sweets. I’ll have some from time to time, but otherwise-” He trailed off as he met Arthur’s stare and blushed. “Oh Lord, I’m rambling. Sorry.”

Arthur shrugged, “No worries. I’ll take one of the muffins as well as two loaves of white bread.” He chuckled at the man as he thought over what had been said. “A baker that doesn’t enjoy the things that he bakes?” Charles paused for a moment, as he carefully placed the food into paper bags, then nodded. Arthur laughed; a rich deep sound that seemed to draw Charles’s gaze. “You really are special, Mr. Davies, you know that?”

The baker frowned as he led Arthur to the register. “Not really. Sugar simply grows tiring when you’re around it all day. That’s all.” He punched the information into the machine and cranked the side handle until a ding was heard. “That’ll be twenty-six pence, please.”

Arthur gave him half a pound and held up a hand when Charles went to fetch the change. “Keep it. This is an amazing establishment you have here. Your service was excellent.”

Charles blinked at him as Arthur began to collect his bags. “Sir, that’s nearly double your total. I really can’t accept this much.”

Without taking the change Arthur began to walk away from the counter. “And yet, I insist.” He grinned playfully at the confused baker. “I’ll see you again, Mr. Davies.”

“Al-Alright then. Come again!” Charles called out almost unsure but could do nothing more as Arthur left the building much more satisfied than he had entered

****HOPE YOU ENJOYED OKAY BYE - B****

[yee-fxcking-haw]

What Happens Next?

A/N: Y'ALL I FUCKIN DID IT I FINISHED THE DAMN FIC. So I definitely bit off more than I could chew by making my first fic a multipart with so much fucking emotion and such a busy plot but lol we did it! Thank you to everyone who has read the story and asked to be tagged and sent me kind words I love y'all so damn much.

Warnings/Rating: 18+ explicit content, very soft romantic smut, unprotected sex, almost a blowjob, James finishes inside the reader. A lot of fluffy love making petty much a great time.

Summary: In the sixth and final chapter of this series, James and you finally figure your shit out. You have to stop running from each other, what you have is far too brilliant...

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Part Five

Playlist

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Part Six

Annie's Diner

"I'm a nurse! I'm a nurse, let me see him!" A soft voice calls out over your shoulder. James' head turns towards the voice, his eyes fluttering back open.

"James?" You ask urgently.

"Relax doll, I was just restin' my eyes for a second. Fightin' off assholes is hard work."

He slowly raises to brace himself on his elbows, wincing a little while he does.

The nurse comes around and drops to her knees on the other side of him. She's a pretty little thing with honey colored hair and bright brown eyes.

"Just give us one second dear, I'm certain he's alright I just need to check for a concussion."

You don't answer, you just nod and get up to turn to the small crowd that's begun to disperse, seemingly disappointed with the lack of action.

This is an opportunity for you to finally take a deep breath and process everything that's happene. Air fills your lungs, shoulders rising and tensing for a moment. You release and let your posture fall back down, letting yourself portray outwardly how drained you feel inside. You've gone from hating James and being terrified of him, to being saved by him, to understanding him to… what now? If everything he's said is true, then everything that happened between you two is just as meaningful as it was before prom. Although, misunderstanding or not, it still hurt like hell. You should be more cautious, right? You shouldn't just run back into his arms like everything's fine, even though it is.

You turn to look back at him, long legs sprawled on the pavement while the alleged nurse checks his pulse and his pupils. He's joking about something, you can tell by the way his eyebrows are sitting higher and the lopsided smile on his face. He's propped up on his elbows, strong arms straining against his shirt. The image sends you back to the afternoon that changed it all, you remember his solid body collapsing onto your lap in a dramatic display of feigned illness. Your lips twitch into a small smile at the thought. You shake your head and walk back towards them.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you look worried about me doll." He jests, the nurse turns to glance at you and smiles fondly.

"Your fella is just fine dear, try and keep him on a shorter leash next time." She chuckles as she stands and dusts off her pretty green skirt, James follows, wincing as he stands.

You feel your cheeks heat up at the implication that James is yours, while he wears a very satisfied smirk at the idea. You swallow thickly and give her a silent nod. James thanks her sweetly for checking him, she says something back to him but you've completely zoned out. Her comment has senr you into a state of utter confusion. Is he your fella? No, you never established that. He did call you his girl though, so that would make him your fella. On top of that, what happened on the roof after Coney Island doesn't just happen between friends, not even friends with benefits. The way he held you so tightly, the way he littered kisses down your spine. Those aren't things you share with someone that doesn't belong to you.

The nurse politely ducks away to go back into the diner with the rest of the onlookers. Leaving you and James to stand alone in the dimly lit parking lot. His jaw looks much worse for wear, the skin is so angry and red. He'll definitely have a bruise, an ugly one at that. James lets out a long sigh, staring down at you with those big blue eyes. Despite it all, the idiot is still smiling. You scowl up at him, you cross your arms and lean to one side, refusing to let him crack you.

"You mad at me?" He asks timidly, he gives you an exaggerated pout while he lifts a hand to tuck some hair behind your ear.

You don't say a word. Of course you're mad at him. He scared you half to death, all for what? Just so he could feel like the tough guy? To prove a point to you? To prove a point to himself? He must have known the fight would end with him beat or worse and he has gall to ask if you're mad?

"Hey." He breathes, his hand comes to rest under your chin so he can tilt your face up with his knuckles. The gesture makes your heart flutter wildly.

"I get it, that was stupid, could've gotten hurt much worse and all that." He says, his eyes are gentle and attentive.

You huff and blink up at him, waiting for the rest of his explanation.

"He just- he came in there talkin' all that shit about you bein' his. It pissed me off is all, you're not his. You're not really anybody's- I mean, I'd like to make you mine- but not in the way he meant. I don't want to own you, I wanna love you, doll. I wanna keep you safe and make you laugh and get my ass beat in skee ball and do all that other cheesy crap. I know I fucked up so badly, but baby please-"

He doesn't get a chance to finish his little rant, the second he calls you baby your hands fly to the sides of his face. As it always does with him, your body moves separate from your mind. You smash your lips into his and you feel his hands settle on your waist, clutching you like you're going to float away at any second. That same baffling electricity thrums through your body as your lips move against each other. The rhythm of the kiss is like an echo of the one you shared on the roof. It has the same tide like push and pull, each of you giving and taking from each other in perfect unison. His lips are soft and urgent against yours, his grip solid and grounding. His hands slide towards each other behind you so his arms can find their home around your waist. The feeling makes you sigh against his lips. After months of being without this feeling, after only having it once, all you've done is want it back and now you have it again.

The kiss only breaks so you can both breathe, foreheads still pressed together, wanting to stay as connected as possible. He smiles down at you, it's a beautiful dopey grin. The look he's giving you makes a shiver run up your spine.

"You wanna go skinny dipping?" You ask, absolutely shocked at your own words.

What the hell? Did Molly fucking possess you? He scoffs and ducks down so his eyes are level with yours.

"Do I wanna what?!" He starts cracking up, and you can't help but join him, the absurdity of it all getting to you.

You can't help but think why the hell not. After all of this, all the confusion and the hurt, you two deserve a night like you shared months ago. Maybe you're an idiot, maybe you're only acting based on an emotional response to what James has done for you tonight. But fucking hell, why not just put it all behind you and live a little? James wants to be yours, he wants you to be his. You need to just let it be and stop fighting the way you both keep hurtling towards each other. So yeah, you want to go skinny dipping. It's the most impulsive, idiotic thing you can think of, and you've always wanted to try it.

"I think you know my answer." He chuckles.

"Let go then." You say quickly, turning on your heels so you can head to the truck before you change your mind.

"Woah kid wait up." He calls out to you while he laughs as he follows.

You reach the truck and swing the door open so you can hop in, he scrambles in as you frantically shove the keys in and crank it into gear.

"Hey." His soft voice snaps you out of your manic state. Your eyes dark to his and you feel your breathing slow down some.

"How 'bout we save the skinny dipping for another time?" He asks, voice soft and steady.

You just nod, becoming aware of how hard you were trying to be light-hearted and fun to mask how overwhelmed you're feeling.

"We don't have to move so fast, doll. We did last time and it didn't go so well, I don't wanna mess up this time." He says, his silvery eyes don't leave yours for a second.

Your head moves up and down silently again, you pull some air into your lungs slowly. He's right. You're trying too hard to make everything ok again. You just want to feel like you did on the roof, you want to be free of all the shit that's happened. James has a point though, you've both learned what happens when things move too quick for you both to keep track of it all. You have to be careful with it this time. Careful and boring are often mistakingly paired together, but not with James. It's undeniable that what you have with him is irreplaceable, which makes it all the more critical that you both handle this like it's made of glass.

"So, what do you want to do?" Your voice is so small, almost unrecognizable.

"I want to dance with you." He states, making your heart soar.

"Like, back at the dance hall?" You ask, the stress evident in your voice.

"God no, we can go to my house." He says it like it's obvious.

"Won't your family mind?" The idea of meeting them now makes you extremely anxious. It would be rather awkward to show up to meet his mother for the first time while he's wearing a shiner you half gave him.

"My Ma and my sister are at my aunt's house." He explains, his voice is laced with a tentative tone.

"Oh…" You exhale gently, understanding the situation.

"Only if you want to, I promise I'll behave." His tone shifts to something slightly taunting.

You can't help but smile, he's always quite the charmer.

"What fun would that be?" You chuckle, "Take me home, Bucky."

The nickname makes him smile in the most dazzling way, it stays glued to his face almost the whole way to his house.

James' House

You pull up to the front of an adorable little white house. It's very sweet looking, very simple and quaint. As the engine dies you glance over at James, he's looking at the house with a very solemn, spaced out gaze. Instinctively, you reach out and grab his hand, sliding your fingers between his own.

"I know…" You say as gently as you can. It's his dad, you know because you wear that look far too often. James just nods slowly, closing his eyes for a moment. You don't dare speak again, you just hold his hand. You don't need to say anything, you don't ever want people to say anything when you have the same feeling. All you can do is sit and understand him. Your chest fills with a horrible ache at the sight, but you're also filled with a strange relief. You aren't alone, and he isn't either. You have each other, you know each other, you get to love each other.

He lets the air fall out of his chest, face softening as he does.

"Thank you, doll." His eyes meet yours and he offers you a weak smile.

"Let's go inside." He says. He walks around to help you out of the truck, offering his hand like a gentleman. You want to slap it away out of instinct, but tonight is different.

He helps you down then wraps his hand around yours as he leads you up the sidewalk.

Before he opens the door he presses a kiss on the side of your head. It's quick and soft, and very different from the way he's kissed you before. Every other time it's felt like he prepared for it, and you had time to brace for it. This time it feels like he's used to doing it, like it's a natural thing.

The house is exactly what you would anticipate the home of a widow to look like. Decorated with lace doilies, soft blankets draped on the couch, and delicate lamps that cast a fuzzy yellow haze over the room. The living room is right off of the front door, and the kitchen is just an extension of it. A cute little staircase is on the left wall leading up to what you can only imagine is an equally quaint upstairs.

James walks confidently into his home, straight for the record player. As he fiddles with it you wander over to the fireplace. The mantle is littered in beautiful family photos, just like at your house. His father is in many of them, kissing his mom, holding a young James on his shoulder, cradling a baby you assume must be James' sister. He was handsome like James, but their faces aren't identical, you can see where his face is a balance of the two individuals. Your chest burns with remorse, knowing that these pictures serve as the only thing they have left of the man they all loved so well.

You startle just a little when James wraps his arms around your waist from behind, but relax when he presses a kiss into the side of your neck.

"It's alright, doll." He mumbles. You don't know if he says it for you or for him, but it doesn't matter. You let yourself sink further into the comfort of being known so well by James.

The music pops into existence, a gentle rhythm fills the room. The song is made of soft trumpets and strings, it's a beautiful, romantic melody. Something you would expect old lovers to sway to in their living room. You and James have the lovers part down, you just need to grow old and have your own living room. Is that even in the cards for you two? You sure as hell hope it is. You remember your realization on the roof that night, thinking about how if love isn't like what you two have, you don't want to love at all.

The feeling suffocates you as he spins you around in his arms. His eyes see right through you as his hands find their home on your waist while your arms slide around his neck.

"I love you doll, I never stopped." He breathes with an urgent look in his eyes.

He starts to sway with you around the living room as you gaze up at him completely dumbfounded. Of course he loves you, and you love him. Yes, you have so much left to learn about each other, but my God has James stolen your heart. Ever since you two left that classroom, you've been consuming each other's thoughts. You've been willing yourselves to try and understand the electricity that sparks between you. It's been so fucking messy, but now that you're in his arms again, dancing like an old married couple, you finally understand it all.

"I love you too…" You say it so softly it's almost not heard, but James catches it.

That dazzling smile spreads across his face, it's contagious nature making your own lips split into a grin.

"Would my outstanding skills in the bedroom have anything to do with that?" He says with a sickly sweet voice.

"James!" You laugh and slap his arm. He throws his head back to let out a playful laugh, the sound sets off a swarm of butterflies in your stomach.

"I wouldn't know what your skills are like in the bedroom anyway, I only know what they're like on a roof." You joke.

"We could change that." He says, his voice taking on a much lower tone.

You both freeze and stare into each other's eyes. The air around you feels so thick and the room starts to blur a little, everything except James.

Then you're on each other. Your lips crash together and your hands snag whatever they can. You let out a whiney noise from the back of your throat, which only spurs James on more. His hand grabs at your waist and he licks at your bottom lip. His actions inspire a wonderful heat to settle in your stomach, the feeling gives you confidence you've never felt before. You slide your hands up his chest to grasp his collar, silently begging him to come closer. The two of you break for air for only a second, eyes glued to each other as you pant and try to comprehend the fire growing between you.

"What are you waiting for, Bucky?" You tease.

A wild look spreads in his eyes and a wide grin overtakes his handsome face. Before you can make another witty comment, James brings his strong hands to the backs of your thighs and hoists you up so you can wrap your legs around him. You let out a shocked giggle but gladly welcome his choice to hold you like this. Now level with his face, you throw your arms around his shoulders and place a chaste kiss on the tip of his nose. He wrinkles his face dramatically and let's out a low chuckle.

"I'm gonna drive you wild, doll." He responds with all the confidence in the world.

Of course, his words make your chest ache with desire, your thighs involuntarily squeeze him a little tighter. With the natural push and pull that you two have, his body responds to your actions without thought. He lets his hands slide up to hold your thighs dangerously close to the swell of your ass, fire spreading to your center as he does.

"That's some big talk." You mumble, blinking at him slowly.

"It sure is." His eyes wander down to your lips, not even a second passes before you're on each other again. He damn near kisses the breath out of your lungs this time, his soft, skilled lips make you head spin and all you can do is hold on tight.

"Can I take you to my room?" He asks against your lips. His voice has a gentle, begging tone to it that makes you shiver.

"Please." You sigh as you let your hands slide into the soft hair on the back of his head. He kisses you hard and walks blindly up the stairs, then he's kicking the door open to what you can only assume is his room. You feel your body falling then feel your back meet a soft mattress. Bucky settles easily between your legs and your heart races when you feel how hard he is already. His hot mouth is on your neck instantly, painting your skin with needy kisses.

"Can I take this off of you?" He mumbles while he pulls at the fabric of your dress.

You can't help but giggle at his enthusiasm.

"Gettin' right into it, huh?" You say.

He brings his hand up so he can hold your face and run his thumb across your cheek bone. His eyes are soft but determined as he studies your face.

"I don't wanna waste any more time." He says simply, the phrase is loaded with months of longing. His confession dazzles you, leaving you laying there with no idea how to breathe. All you can do is nod in understanding and revel in the feeling of his wet kisses against your neck again. He gently hikes your dress up to your waist, then quickly brings his hands back down so he can run them up your thighs. His hands settle on your hips, thumbs pressing on the bones so he can pin you down slightly as he rolls his hips against your center.

Your hands instinctively claw at his broad back as a hiss leaves your lips.

"Let me get on top." You sigh, completely shocking yourself with your boldness.

You feel him smile against your collar bone before his hands glide up to hold your waist. He flips you both over with ease, granting you your wish without argument. You catch your breath as you settle on his lap, hands splayed across his chest.

"I'm all yours, doll." His eyes fall down your body sinfully, making your chest seize up and your legs squeeze around him.

You lean down to capture his lips in yours again, sighing contentedly when he moves against you like he did when you kissed for the first time on the roof.

"I missed you." You mutter against his mouth.

"Let's make up for that, yeah?" He replies quickly as he moves to pull your dress over your head. You lift your arms and let him undress you as you sit back. Soon the dress is out of the way and his warm hands are holding your waist again, thumbs brushing up and down against your skin. You become suddenly ashamed of your lackluster underwear and you feel your cheeks heat up as you watch James' eyes skate down your figure. As if he senses you unease, he sits up and snakes his arms around your waist. He presses a delicate kiss into the swell of each of your breasts as you card your fingers through his hair.

"You're so perfect." He whispers against your skin.

"Can I take this off?" He asks, bringing his thumbs up to hook his fingers around your bra straps.

Somehow, everything about this feels even more innocent than the first time you two made love. Maybe it's the knowledge that you don't have to show off, talk dirty, or have all the hot moves in order to impress each other. You're both just enchanted by the presence of one another. Finally, you're both able to just be together. There's no fear of what people will say about you in school tomorrow, no terrifying rumor hanging over your head. Just you and James, able to lose yourselves completely in this wonderful moment you've found.

You carefully undress each other, leaving tender kisses on any newly exposed skin, whispering sweet nothings as well as declarations of devotion. You cherish every second that passes as you explore each other's bodies again. Soon you're both fully exposed to each other, your hands grasp desperately at his shoulder as soon as you feel his erect length graze your core. You think back to how his lips felt between your legs, and you immediately want to repay the favor. You slink down his body until you settle between his legs. His abs tense as you slide your palms up his muscular thighs.

You know Bucky is big, especially after last time, but being face to face with his dick makes you realize his size is genuinely intimidating. He looks beautiful like this, all flushed and hard. His tip is a pretty shade of dark pink, similar to his lips, and there's a small bead of precum leaking out of his slit. The sight makes you clench your thighs and lick your lips.

"See somethin' you like?" He teases.

"I sure do." You flirt back, wasting no time in wrapping your hand around his length to give him one slow pump. He throws his head back with as you bring your lips to his tip and give it a chaste kiss.

"Tell me if I do something wrong, please." You say, the tremble in your voice revealing just how nervous you really are.

James shoots up instantly, grabbing the wrist of the hand that's around his dick while the other comes up to cup your face. His thumb slides across your cheek bone affectionately as he stares at you with his kind blue eyes.

"Doll, if you're not ready for that, don't do it." His voice is like rich hot chocolate, spreading through your body and warming every nerve.

"But, last time you- I figure I owed you…" It makes sense in your head, but by the look he gives you it doesn't make any sense to him.

"Baby," He breathes out, leaning in to kiss your forehead, "Come here."

With gentle hands he pulls you into his lap so you can straddle him while he takes your face in his hands, gazing up at you with intensity.

"Anything I do for you, is because I want to. You don't owe me a damn thing. If you're ever not ready for something you tell me, and we can talk about it, ok?" His voice has a hint of urgency to it, like he can't stress the words enough.

You nod silently as you try to understand the man beneath you. Your brain desperately claws through your vocabulary to find the words to best describe the beautiful human being you've fallen for. All you can come up with is something terribly insufficient, but incredibly accurate. He's kind. He's a "heart if gold" kind of guy. Under the charm, the handsome face, the quick witted humor, James Barnes is the kindest person you've ever met.

Your lips are on his before he can say anything else, following that involuntary reaction you've developed whenever you're around him. He kisses you back as fiercely as you kiss him, heavy breaths falling from his mouth as you work against one another. You can't help but whimper when you feel the hot skin of his dick slide along your drenched core.

"Make love to me, James, please-" You beg against his lips.

All he can manage is a moan against your mouth as he reaches down between you to grab himself so he can get lined up at your entrance. He opens his mouth to say something, but it's stolen from him as you inch down to slide the tip in. A beautiful, lustful sigh leaves his puffy lips as you do. It's still a harsh stretch for your walls, but this time you can anticipate it and welcome it. Slowly, you descend until he's in you completely. As soon as he's bottomed out you lean your forehead on his shoulder and let out a pitiful whine.

"You ok, doll?" He asks, nudging his nose against your jaw.

"I'm good, you're just so big…" You sigh. His grip on your waist tightens and you feel him twitch inside you.

"Careful sweetheart, don't want this ego getting any bigger." He teases, earning an airy giggle from you.

You brace yourself by holding his shoulders, rolling your hips tentatively. He kisses your neck when you do so and slides his arms around your waist, so you must be doing something right. You mimic the movement with a little more confidence this time. You can't help but bring your head up and send James a nervous glance, and he's more than willing to reassure you.

"That's good baby, that feels good." He says with a voice like honey as he skates his lips across your neck.

His praising words make your insides melt, spurring you on as you keep rolling against him. The way the soft skin of his dick moves against your soaked walls in euphoric. Your hands cling to each other, lips kiss where the can, short breaths fall from your mouth. All of it creates a truly beautiful atmosphere. It's nothing like the urgent, frantic mood you had last time. This doesn't feel like two teenagers who can't wait to see somebody naked for the first time. This feels like two people who want to be uncovered by each other.

His hands slide so he can spread his palms across your damp back and you shiver from the feather soft intimacy of the motion. Your forehead falls against his and your eyes lock.

"You're incredible." You sigh as brilliant sparks of pleasure start to build in your core.

You slowly build the pace of your hips until you're rocking against him with a rhythm that makes his nails claw at your back as he groans and pants. He's so deep inside you, reaching and rubbing against every sweet spot you have.

"Fuck- that's perfect doll- so fucking perfect." His voice has climbed in pitch slightly, he sounds almost whiney.

Your head falls to his shoulder, you shove your mouth against his collarbone in an attempt to muffle a pitiful sob as it shakes your abdomen. The feelings are all so fucking intense, your eyes screw shut as your walls start to flutter. Your chest aches as your head spins, completely incapable of comprehending all of the sensations drowning you in this moment.

"James- James I'm gonna-" Your words are cut off completely as one of his strong arms easily cradles you so he can flip you onto your back. You hit the mattress and he doesn't give you a single second to catch your breath before he's rocking his hips against yours.

"Fucking hell." You huff out as he plants his hands on either side of your head so he can bare down even more when he thrusts.

"I wanna see you, wanna see that pretty face." Both of you moan uncontrollably when you spread your legs even more to give him better access. Soon he's hitting some rapturous spot deep within you, setting off every nerve in your body.

Tears gather in your eyes and it takes every ounce of self control you have to not succumb to the desire to start crying beneath him. His body is moving so beautifully above you, every muscle working to give you everything he has. Your eyes burn with the tears you refuse to let fall as you pull your bottom lip into your mouth to keep another sob caged inside you.

"Baby, don't hide anything." He says with a broken voice as he drops to his elbows so he can bring his face closer to your own.

"Cry if you need to, I got you." He punctuates his sentence with a stunning moan, and it absolutely breaks you. Your body trembles as you finally release all the emotion you've been suppressing. Your back arches and you finally let the tears cascade down the sides of your face. The sight of you falling apart beneath him, so fragile and overstimulated, it motivates him even more. His pace increases as he chants nonsense phrases of adoration to you.

He tells you how beautiful you are, how tight you feel, how good you are for him. All while your entire body quakes for him and his magnificent pace. You don't want to say his thrusts are hard, that word seems so utterly insufficient for how he's making love to you right now. His movements are committed, he fills you up with every push in and leaves you wanting so much more every time he draws back out.

"Baby you feel so good- fuck- please don't stop." You beg him as your cunt starts to pulse around him again, body edging towards that blinding release.

"No fuckin' way, I'm never gonna stop." He pants while his thick eyebrows push towards each other as his face crumples into a look of intense focus.

He braces himself on one arm so he can snake a skilled hand between your bodies, thumb finding your swollen clit almost immediately. It hits you immediately, almost before he even touches your sensitive bud. Your body anticipates his touch and sends itself over the edge, and my God it's fucking brilliant. Your pussy grips onto his cock as it slides in and out, your hands claw at his hot skin as his name falls from your lips. You sing him a pitiful song, made of incoherent swearing and plenty of crying.

"That's it sweet girl, give it to me- shit you're squeezin' the life outta me." You barely retain the words as he spits them out between frantic breaths as he chases his own high.

In one fluent motion, James flips your legs over each of his shoulders. He grabs the meat of your hips and lifts your pelvis off the bed as he brings his torso upright so he can settle back on his knees. If you thought you were crying before, you were fucking wrong. You scream out as tears flood your face, you can't tell if you're hurtling into another orgasm before your first has even finished, or if it's all just one long, mind numbing climax. Regardless, it's too good to be true. Every inch of you tingles and clenches as James snaps his hips into you, the angle sends fluorescent jolts of pleasure into your cunt and up your abs.

"Yeah doll, keep cumming for me, you feel so fuckin' perfect." He tosses his head back as he nearly shouts your name.

Your body starts to cool down just enough to provide some clarity. You're still twitching and tears are still rolling, but you at least have the wits to throw some praises at him. It's the least you can do when he's working so hard to make you fall apart.

"Fuck James, you made me cum so hard." Your words have an affect on him instantly, his fingertips bite at your flesh as hips tense and you feel his cock twitch inside you.

"You make me feel so good baby, you drive me fuckin' crazy." He lets go of your hips and throws your legs apart so he can fall on top of you again. He presses his forehead against yours before his lips meet your own so he can kiss you like it's the last time he'll ever have the chance.

"Let me feel you cum James- fuck- do it inside me, I want you to cum inside me." Your hands are at the sides of his face, thumbs rubbing his temples affectionately as you lose your mind.

"Oh baby- shit doll- I'm gonna- oh my God- Fuck!" With that final exclamation he buries himself inside you, enchanting moans fall from his full lips as he tenses and fills you. You hold still and focus on the feeling of his cock pulsing inside you as he moans above you. His sounds are so full of relief and what must be exhaustion. Your eyes flutter open to observe him while he finishes. His eyebrows are high with his eyes shut and his lips parted as he tries to catch his breath while his orgasm fizzles out. His eyelids slowly peel apart and soon you're both watching each other. You're completely enthralled by the work of art above you, and he is entirely captured by the muse below him.

Slowly, like he doesn't want to ever leave, he inches his softening length out of you. You hate the feeling of him leaving your body, you hate how empty you feel. He presses a fond kiss to your forehead while he smooths some of your sweaty hair down.

"Don't move." He whispers. Then he's off of the bed and through his bedroom door, you assume to find something to get you both cleaned up.

Your body is still buzzing from every moment you've just shared with him, you gingerly roll to your side and pull the sheets up against your naked form. You pay little mind the mess spilling from your core, ignorant to the possible consequences it might have. You glance around his room, taking note of all the baseball cards, the toy cars, and the dirty sneakers. The room is bathed in the dull yellow streetlights, giving it a glow that seems otherworldly. It all does. Especially James.

He reappears with a washcloth and a glass of water. The sight makes your heart swell immeasurably, he's still naked but it doesn't strike you as anything to be bashful about. It's all of him, all of James and his unmatched beauty. It feels natural to be this exposed with each other, it feels right.

"Such a gentleman." You tease as he walks towards the bed so he can sit on the edge.

"For you? Of course." His smile is as dazzling as always while he hands you the glass of water. You prop yourself up on your elbows so you can take the glass and sip it slowly. Thankful for the relief the cold liquid brings your exhausted throat.

"Spread those gorgeous legs." He says as he takes the glass back from you so he can set it on the nightstand.

"Round two already?" You joke.

His laugh is full and rich, it spreads through your veins and makes adoration bubble in your chest.

"Not yet, doll." He presses the cloth between your folds to clean up his mess, the sensation makes you jump a little, but he's done as quickly as he's started. The cloth joins a pile of dirty clothes in the corner after he tosses over his shoulder, then he's climbing back into bed with you. He opens his arms once he's on his back beside you. Naturally, you settle into his side and lay your head on his chest. His fingers trace along your spine as he kisses the crown of your head.

"You're a beautiful little thing." He mumbles, voice heavy with a sleepy tone.

"You're perfect, just perfect." It almost sounds like he's talking in his sleep, so you glance up to check.

He's wide awake, glacial eyes piercing your own as he gazes down at you.

"Thank you, for all of this." You say. By all of it, you mean for the love, for the spark of life, for the precious bond you've found. Somehow without saying all of it, you know he knows exactly what you mean.

"Thank you for loving an idiot like me." He says softly.

"It couldn't be anybody else." You say, completely resolute in your admittance.

You lay there like that for God knows how long, just drinking each other in. Mumbling words of praise, astounded by each other's existence. You exchange sweet little jokes, press priceless kisses into every inch of skin you can reach, and make beautiful promises.

"James?" You say as you draw figure eights on his chest with your finger tip.

"What happens next?" You question.

He takes a deep breath in as he twirls your hair between his fingers.

"Well-" He's cut off by the sound of the front door opening. You both bolt upright off the bed, clinging to the sheets. The sounds of lovely, soft laughter fills the house. One is the laugh of a woman, full and warm, the other is bright and twinkly, obviously belonging to a younger girl.

"Shit." You whisper simultaneously as you glance at each other with pounding hearts.

"James?" The woman's voice calls.

"Yeah ma?" James hollers back, hand coming to hold yours as he tries to keep his mouth straight, obviously entertained by the misfortune of the situation.

"Whose truck is that out front?" She asks, then footsteps start to echo as she climbs the stairs.

"Oh my God." You whisper.

"I guess you're meeting my mom, that's what happens next." He says quietly. Your eyes are on his immediately, every reasonable part of you says to panic, but the look on James' face is absolutely priceless. His cheeks are pink as he pulls his lips over his teeth to keep from busting out in laughter. It's ok though, you do it for him. Soon you're both doubling over with laughter, embracing the inevitable awkward encounter that you're about to have with his poor mother. It'll be ok, it'll be wonderful, anything will as long as you two stick together.

Taglist:

@b-o-n-e-daddy @lillsrecs @all-art-is-quite-useless @brownlee-22 @peace-love-hobbitness @pinknerdpanda @supernaturalwintersoldier @can-i-sin-right-now @pennyroyalcreep @jessyballet @calwitch @aurora-sweet @learisa

[everybodyscupoftea]

a very merry christmas

college isaac x reader

cozy christmas with your boyfriend

happy holidays everyone!! i love you all

(warnings: cursing, wrote about half of this on my phone today)

Christmas Eve Eve

The original plan was that you were going home for Christmas with your family and Isaac was going home with Scott and Stiles to Beacon Hills where he was going to stay with Scott’s family. And then Isaac’s plans fell through, Chris and Allison decided to come into town and he didn’t want to intrude on Scott and Allison’s time and third wheel.

Scott fought with him about it, telling him he wouldn’t be and that he could hang out with Stiles since Noah was joining them. Isaac just sadly shook his head, reassuring them that he’d be fine alone.

When Stiles texted you about it, you immediately called your mom and changed your plans around. She was bummed, but she understood why you wanted to stay. Sad tone in her voice, she made you promise to FaceTime on Christmas day, and you agreed.

The next issue was going to be a way to pitch it to Isaac without him freaking out and insisting you go home. It was bound to happen either way, but you figured there was probably a way you could minimize the guilt he’d inevitably feel.

When you finally broke it to him, Isaac and you were walking to your normal date night restaurant, hands swinging between the two of you. It was quiet and you squeezed his hand to get his attention, “Hey, wanted to talk to you about something.”

He hummed, tilting his head to indicate that he was paying attention, and you bit your lip, trying to come up with the best phrasing.

“I was thinking,” you started.

“That’s dangerous,” he teased, cutting you off.

Rolling your eyes, you walked into him, mostly to get him to laugh, and continued, “I don’t really feel like traveling home this year. Plus they’re going to my grandparents’ house which is an additional four hour trip.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, finally looking over at you, “I thought you knew that was the plan all along?”

Kicking at the snow, you shrugged, “I mean kinda. But I didn’t realize how drained I’d feel after this semester. A seven hour flight just isn’t sounding fun.”

Isaac tugged you out of the middle of the sidewalk and stopped you from walking further, “Are you being serious right now?”

“Yeah. I mean I can FaceTime my family. Might even FaceTime you since you’ll be in Beacon Hills,” you played dumb.

With a sigh, he told you, “I won’t be in Beacon Hills. And I know you’re lying because I’m sure either Stiles or Scott told you as soon as I backed out.”

Which, true, but he didn’t need to know that. So, you denied it again, “I’m not lying, but if you’re going to be here, even more reason for me to not go! We can have a chill Christmas together!”

Isaac shook his head but didn’t comment further, just started walking again, headed to your favorite sushi place. It looked settled, you were going to stay, probably have him temporarily stay at your apartment for the rest of the break because it was bigger and cleaner than his place.

“So,” you said as he held the door of the restaurant open for you, “we can pick up some of your stuff and head over to my apartment.”

He finally looked at you again, soft smile on his face, “Sounds like a great plan.”

Dinner that night was going to be the last one before Christmas, you were set to board a plane early the next morning, but since you’d cancelled your flight, you suggested, “Why don’t we go see the Christmas display at the park and then the lights in that rich neighborhood on the edge of town. I’ve heard they have a bunch of houses with cool displays but haven’t been able to go myself.”

Isaac nodded, pulling the chair out for you before sitting down across from you, “Sounds great.”

The waitress brought out your drinks within a few minutes and asked, “The usual?”

With a smile, you nodded, “Please.”

It didn’t take long for her to bring the food out, and the two of you dug in, demolishing several rolls of sushi pretty quickly before starting on the edamame. Isaac’s foot was nudged in between yours under the table, and he looked up at you every few minutes to smile.

After paying, the two of you stood and joined hands again to leave the restaurant. The waitress waved at you, “See you guys next week!”

Isaac waved back and led you out the restaurant. Joining the foot traffic on the sidewalk, the two of you walked the opposite way from your car toward the park a few blocks away. The walk-through was free thankfully, and he dropped your hand to drape an arm over your shoulder.

Shivering slightly, you leaned into his side as you walked to the first display. It was a pole with ice around it labeled from the north pole and he reached out to touch the ice. Isaac made a face, “Wait, this feels strange.”

Curiously, you reached out too and felt it. The ice didn’t feel very frozen, and you jerked your hand away, wiping it on your pants to dry it off. “Weird,” you muttered.

The next display was animated, little elves making gifts in Santa’s Workshop. Your engineering brain kicked in, and you immediately wanted to figure out how it worked. Isaac smiled at you as you explained how you thought they did it, nodding at appropriate moments.

You did that for the rest of the displays. One with kids ice skating and skiing. One with Santa flying. Another with a ferris wheel and one with a one with a rural Christmas, cabin included. Isaac kept you pulled tightly into his side, giving your hands freedom to wave around while you talked.

“Gonna be honest,” he said when you took a breath, “all of that went straight over my head, but I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

Instead of answering, a hot chocolate stand caught your eye, and you slipped out from under his arm to drag him over to it. Stumbling, his other arm flailed out to keep him from falling, and he made a noise.

“Come on, bub,” you called over your shoulder as he caught his balance.

“Slow down, sweetheart. The hot chocolate isn’t going anywhere.”

And then when you got there they only had two cups left at the table. You gave him a look and he shrugged sheepishly, “I was wrong this once.”

You snorted and let him tuck you back under his arm as you walked away from the display. Something caught your eye, and you tugged his shirt, “Wait! There’s a bench for pictures, we should get someone to take one.”

He sighed, “Fine,” and handed his phone to a girl walking by, asking her to take a picture of the two of you. When you deemed it good, you left the park and headed back to the car. Isaac cranked it up and turned the heat on, rubbing his hands, “Where are we going?”

“Just to drive around, see some of the neighborhoods.”

He nodded and plugged his phone into the aux to start playing Christmas music softly. Both of your hot chocolates set in the cupholders as he pulled out onto the main road and drove toward the nicer side of town.

The first few streets were full of impressive houses but no decoration, and you pouted, leaning your forehead against the window, “When I get a house and get some money, I’m going to have the best decorations.”

Isaac chuckled, “I’m sure you will.”

“You’ll have to help me put them up.”

His thumb tapped against the steering wheel as he turned onto the next street, “Oh, this looks promising.”

The houses were smaller but had plenty of lights, and there were people pulled off to the side of the road. You looked around until you saw a sign that the lights were flickering in time to music, so you switched the radio and settled into your seat to watch.

Isaac reached over with his hand to hold your seat’s headrest, and leaned forward a bit to see better out your window. He was enthralled, you’d seen it before in your hometown, but his eyes were fixed on it.

You found yourself watching his face instead of the lights, and it was like he didn’t even notice. When he finally did look down at you, eyes sparkling, “This is awesome.”

Unable to stop yourself, you reached up to cup his chin and pull him in for a kiss. He was caught off guard at first, but eventually sank into it, kissing you back eagerly. When he pulled away, Isaac pressed a few kisses up your cheek to your forehead and stroked a finger over your cheekbone.

“What was that about?” he asked, a little breathlessly.

“Been wanting to do it all night,” you admitted with a shrug, “but it was really cute seeing you so excited.”

He blushed, “Well, it’s cool.”

The music had looped, and he put the car back in drive, heading toward his apartment for clothes.

You waited in his kitchen while he packed a few things he didn’t have at your apartment already. Looking at the fridge, you realized he’d probably want to cook Christmas dinner. Clearing your throat, you called out, “Isaac.”

He peeked his head out, “Yeah?”

“Did you want to cook Christmas dinner?”

Shrugging, he answered, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

“I mean I’m not the greatest chef,” you told him.

“Oh trust me, I know,” he responded with a laugh, “I’m willing to cook.”

“Grocery trip?” you asked, eagerly.

He sighed, walking out with a duffle bag, “I suppose, yes.”

There was a grocery store not even a block from your apartment, so Isaac drove the two of you back, and parked in front of your building. He glanced at his watch, “Damn, getting kind of late. When does the store close?”

“An hour. We shouldn’t need that long.”

“Do we even know what we want to eat?”

“I’m hoping inspiration strikes in the store.”

He snorted and shook his head, “Okay, can’t argue with that logic. Let’s’go.”

“Do you want to bring your stuff up first?”

Waving your words away, he answered, “It’ll be fine.”

When the two of you walked in and headed to the food section, inspiration did not strike like you hoped it would. You sighed, “What if we just buy a bunch of random shit and make whatever we can.”

“No.”

“Thought not,” you elbowed him in retaliation.

After a few laps through the aisles, you stopped, “What about pizza and wings?”

He cocked his head to the side, “Untraditional, but that’s kind of a vibe.”

“I just really want pizza and wings right now,” you admitted.

Isaac snorted and pulled out his phone, “Let me look through some recipes and I’ll get together a list of stuff we need. Do you know what you have in the fridge?”

You hummed, “Yes, I have nothing in the fridge.”

“How are you alive?” he muttered, glancing over at you briefly before looking back at his phone.

You leaned against the shelf to wait, idly playing with the corner of a bag of rice until the urge overtook you, and you slapped it. Isaac’s head shot up at the sudden noise and you laughed, “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You’re a menace,” he growled playfully, poking your side.

“Your menace.”

Locking his phone back, Isaac held his hand out for you to take, and he walked around, putting the stuff he needed into the basket you were carrying.

“I think we’re good,” he finally told you, turning to walk to the checkout lines. You paid, much to Isaac’s displeasure, and about 20 minutes before the store was supposed to close, the two of you were walking out.

“We’re cooking this on Christmas Day?” Isaac asked.

You nodded, “Yeah, think so. I just know the stores are going to be super hectic tomorrow and on Christmas Day.”

“Good call.”

Christmas Eve

Isaac woke up first with a jolt, waking you up in the process. He sat up, looking around wildly, before his eyes caught yours and he relaxed.

“You good?” you asked, not quite awake enough to come up with anything more eloquent.

“Yeah, think so.”

He didn’t move and still looked really disturbed by something. You cleared your throat, “Did you want to go for a run or something? Work some energy out.”

“Actually,” he paused, head tilted, “sounds good.”

Climbing out of bed with a groan, he put on a pair of the leggings you loved and a hoodie. Isaac looked at you expectedly and you pouted, “It’s so early.”

“It’s 11:00.”

“And I wasn’t planning on getting up until at least 1:00.”

Isaac chuckled, “It’s fine, I’ll just go.”

Before he could walk away, you grabbed his wrist, “Fine.”

He laughed, “Meet me in the kitchen. I’ll drive to the trail I know you like.”

You got dressed and walked out to find him filling up both your water bottles. Isaac smiled at you, “Figured we could go get lunch after.”

“Good with me.”

At the running trail, the two of you didn’t stay together. Each of you had separate routines when it came to stretching and different speeds when it came to running. He waved, having finished stretching before you, and ran off, his running playlist blasting in his headphones.

It wasn’t too long after him that you were off, your own music blasting loud enough that you didn’t have to feel your heavy breathing. You paced yourself, hoping to just not finish too far behind Isaac.

It was cold but you survived, wanting to die the last ten minutes or so. Isaac was leaning against the car, stretching out his calves, and he beamed when he looked up to see you, “How’d it go?”

“Not bad. Out of practice, but could’ve been worse. You?”

He hummed, “I feel better. Had a nightmare this morning. Or last night. Whenever.”

“Thought so, but I didn’t want to press.”

Pulling you into a hug, you felt his chest vibrate and his chin on your head when he said, “And I love you for that.”

“I hope so,” you teased, “now, I believe you said something about brunch.”

He chuckled, “I did.”

The two of you chugged some water in the car before Isaac pulled out of the otherwise abandoned trailhead parking lot and started driving to your favorite brunch place that was usually packed on weekends.

Sure enough, there were a bunch of people sitting outside and he let you out to put your names on the list. The hostess knew you and promised it wouldn’t be too long before a table for two was ready.

“Thanks so much,” you told her happily.

“Where’s Isaac?” she asked, looking over your shoulder before shaking her head, “Or did you bring someone else?”

“No,” you laughed, “he’s just parking.”

“Good,” she wiped imaginary sweat off her forehead, “wouldn’t want our favorite couple to be apart on a holiday.”

“Of course not!” you told her, moving over to the bench on the side to wait for Isaac.

Someone stepped in behind you to talk to her and Isaac was right after him, joining you on the bench. He put an arm around your shoulder, “What’s the damage?”

“That’s a big group, she said a table for two shouldn’t take too long.”

“Great,” he breathed out, relieved, “because I’m starving.”

The hostess, no longer talking to the other guy, called out, “Ah the worse half of my favorite couple has arrived.”

Isaac grinned playfully, “You hitting on my girlfriend?”

She laughed, “Absolutely.”

You pretended to swoon, “The only person I’d consider leaving Isaac for.”

Blowing you a kiss, she turned to the next family that walked in. Isaac chuckled, “Gonna miss this place when we graduate.”

“Me too.”

Your table was ready not too long after, a small booth, and Isaac again tucked his feet between yours, something he really liked. Throughout your relationship, you’d noticed he’d gotten more comfortable with initiating touch, and honestly you couldn’t ask for much better.

After ordering him a cup of tea and you a coffee with your food orders, you cleared your throat, “So I’ve been talking with one of my professors.”

Tilting his head, he took a sip of the water before asking, “What about?”

“Mostly about where I should go after graduation.”

“What’s their suggestion?”

“He told me about a company not far from here that hires a lot of graduates from our engineering programs and would pay for my schooling if I wanted a graduate degree.”

Isaac’s eyebrows shot up, “Oh yeah?”

“Yep. So I applied for the internship. I actually had the interview in November. They’re picking the two interns in the next few days, so I should be hearing back soon. If the interns fit in well, I have a really good shot at a full time job after the summer.”

He reached across the table and squeezed your hand, “That’s awesome! How do you feel about it?”

You sighed, “I think it went well, but I’ve been trying to not get my hopes up.”

“Understandable,” he responded, “Managing expectations is really hard though so I wouldn’t blame you for getting excited.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, “I know. I’d just really love to stay here. And I know you love it here too.”

“I do.”

“I know we just had that discussion about post-grad plans. But I didn’t want you to have to make a huge sacrifice, you know.”

“I do remember you saying that. I’m confident it’ll work itself out and we’ll end up where we’re supposed to be. But I also know how good of a worker you are, and they’d be dumb not to hire you,” Isaac squeezed your hand.

Your cheeks heated up, “Well, you’re biased.”

“Maybe,” he hummed, “but it’s definitely justified. And who knows where we’ll end up, or what you’ll end up doing. Just have to have faith it’ll work itself out.”

“You’re right, per usual.”

He laughed, “Having faith in you and your abilities rarely fails me. Except when it comes to cooking and writing. Jesus Christ.”

Reaching across, you shoved his shoulder, “Rude! Who helped you pass chemistry? I carried our group in that class.”

“You did,” he placated, “but if memory serves me correctly, I carried you through English.”

You laughed, “Fair.”

Before anything else could be said, the waiter brought your food and other drinks. He set everything out, “Anything else I can get for you guys?”

“That’s it for now, thanks,” Isaac answered with a polite smile.

The waiter nodded and disappeared, leaving the two of you, especially Isaac to dig into your food. Not much was said between the two of you, mostly focused on the food.

When he finished, Isaac handed the waiter his card to pay, and you pushed the last half of toast around your plate, offering it to him.

“Thanks,” he took it off your plate.

“Hey did you want to go for a walk after this?” you asked him.

Isaac nodded immediately, “Sounds great.”

The two of you left soon after, one last goodbye to the hostess, and walked down the sidewalk hand in hand. The park was a few blocks down, and when you got there, a children’s choir was singing Christmas carols.

You pulled Isaac to a stop, “I want to listen for a few minutes.”

He relented, listening to them sing O Holy Night, arms around your waist from behind, chin resting on your head.

After a few minutes, he mused, “They’re pretty good.”

“Carolers, it’s always better when they’re good.”

“That’s for sure,” Isaac agreed.

The two of you stayed a few more songs before continuing on your walk. Isaac kept it pretty short, going back to the car after about 20 minutes, which was fine with you, the cold was starting to catch up.

When he started the drive back to your apartment, he asked, “What did you want to do for the rest of the day?”

You thought for a few seconds, “I have some puzzles my mom sent.”

Isaac nodded almost immediately, “Absolutely. We can watch movies and do puzzles.”

“Elite plan.”

When you got back to the apartment, Isaac put Home Alone in the DVD player while you went to pull the puzzles out of your drawer.

“Easiest one first,” he requested, so you picked and dumped it out before propping the top to see what it was supposed to look like.

It was a chill afternoon, the two of you working in relative silence, just spending time together and soaking in each other’s company. You got through the first two Home Alone movies before starting Elf.

“Should we order dinner?” Isaac asked after the second puzzle was finished.

“Sure. We could get tacos.”

“Great idea.”

You pulled out your phone to open the delivery app and to him to let him pick what he wanted. Isaac picked fajitas before handing it back and you quickly selected tacos before placing the order.

“Should be about 30 minutes,” you informed him, “Do you want to start another puzzle?”

“Sure,” he answered, dumping out the third and final puzzle pieces.

“This one’s gonna be hard,” you muttered, biting your lip as you started fishing through the pieces for all the corners to start.

“Two nerds take on a Rudolph puzzle. Who will win?”

“We shall see.”

The two of you worked until there was a knock on the door and you went to grab the food from the delivery guy. You’d tipped on the app but handed him cash too before wishing him a good day.

Isaac had moved to the kitchen, fixing both of you something to drink before sitting at the dining room table, waiting on the food. You paused the movie before sitting down where he’d laid out your food.

“Thanks,” you told him quietly, and he smiled, nodding at you.

One of your favorite things about being with Isaac was that there was never a need to be talking. Sitting in silence with him was comfortable, just soaking in each other’s company. He was super expressive with facial expressions, you could always tell what he was thinking, so verbal communication just wasn’t necessary. Co-existing in the same space was enough.

After eating, the two of you went back to the puzzle. It took well past 2:00 a.m. to finish it and you took a shower, falling into bed after. You tried to wait on Isaac to get out of the shower, but fell asleep.

He did wake you up when he slid into bed and whispered, “Merry Christmas, lovely.”

Cracking your eyes open, still half asleep, you slurred out, “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “Goodnight, get some sleep.”

“Mhmm, you too.”

Christmas Day

You woke up first this time, blinking at the sunlight filtering through your blinds. Isaac was still breathing evenly, pressed against you.

Unable to stop yourself, you turned around in his arms and lightly started tracing his relaxed facial features with your fingertip. His lips were soft, and you got lost in tracing them.

When he shifted, you moved up his cheek to his nose, cheekbones, and brow bone. Eventually, when you’d done your fill, you started running your hand through his hair, combing it out with your fingers.

Isaac hummed, pressing into it as he started to wake up. You brushed a kiss across his cheek, and he opened his eyes, beaming sleepily.

“Morning,” he rasped.

“Morning,” you whispered back.

Isaac placed a light kiss on your lips, “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you too.”

Inhaling sharply, he asked you, “Pizza and wings for dinner? Do you have something for breakfast?”

“Yeah, I think there’s a roll of store bought cinnamon rolls.”

“Excellent,” he beamed, “I’ll go start on those.”

Climbing out of bed he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth before heading to the kitchen. You heart the coffee maker start a few minutes later before the fridge opened.

It was nice. Not the first Christmas you’d spent with him, but the best one thus far. Just as you went to get out of bed, your phone started vibrating on the nightstand.

Eyebrows furrowed, you didn’t recognize the number but answered anyway, “Hello?”

They asked your name and when you told them, the man said, “We reviewed your application and interview, and I wanted to let you know that we’ve decided to go in a different direction. When you graduate we’d love to talk to you again about a full time position.”

Your heart sank. A rejection call on Christmas Day. After a few stunned seconds, you managed, “Thanks for letting me know. Um, have a Merry Christmas.”

“Thanks ma’am. You as well.”

You sat in bed, phone still pressed to your ear, covers pooled over your lap as you tried to process what had just happened. Isaac walked in a few second later, mug of coffee in his hand.

He frowned at your face, “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t get the internship,” you whispered.

“Oh no, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he said, equally as quiet, and tilted your chin up to kiss your forehead.

“It’s okay. I knew there were a lot of candidates. But did he have to call me on Christmas Day.”

“I’m not sure. Did he say anything else?”

“He said to re-apply once I graduate.”

“That sounds promising, yeah?”

You hummed, “I guess. I think I want to check my emails.”

“Do you want to wait till after breakfast and coffee?” he asked, still looking concerned.

You thought for a bit, “No. If I feel sick I don’t want to ruin the food.”

“Okay. I’ll give you some space.”

Opening your laptop hesitantly, you pulled up your emails. There was one from the company, the official rejection letter, and one from your professor. He apologized, saying you were more than qualified and to not let it deter you.

You weren’t sure how he found out, but you sighed. The last paragraph was interesting though. He offered you a research position in his project and a TA job for one of his intro courses.

It wasn’t what you had intended, but there was an opportunity for experience and research. You drafted up a response, thanking him and accepting his offer. Right before closing your laptop, your email dinged and he’d responded.

I’m so glad to hear that! Meet me in my office the Monday before classes at noon and we’ll discuss the position further!

Revived, you hopped out of bed to tell Isaac. He cheered for you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“I told you it would work out.”

~

days 20-25 of @obxmermaid’s holiday challenge: alone on christmas, christmas lights, cooking holiday dinner, christmas caroling, christmas eve, waking up christmas morning

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Life After Losing Him

Summary: Reader goes about their new daily life but soon runs into the best friend they had lost several months prior.

TW/CW: Platonic!Reader x Sam and Dean Winchester (mostly Dean tbh). Classmate bullying Reader. Should College Student Reader be a warning? Bc I feel like it should lmao. Lots of swearing. Dean does the silver blade test so a wound and blade are mentioned. I don’t think there’s anything else but lmk if I should add something.

Requested?: Yes, a lovely Anon said, “Hello love, your writing is really good and I love how active you are on your account it’s very impressive I could never 🥰 I would be so honored if you could do a platonic imagine for me??? I had in mind like Dean going to hell and coming back and being mad at Sam because he stopped hunting and maybe being mad at reader for moving on and going to college/not trying to help Sam? Idk if that makes any sense lol”

Word Count: 1,880

A/N: So, Dean isn’t as angry as I could’ve written him to be, I didn’t really include Sam much in this one, and it’s mostly Reader going about her day in her new life. If enough of you want it, I could write a second part where Dean and Reader get home and talk to Sam or whatever. I hope this is alright. I personally really like some bits of it but as a whole it feels off to me for some reason.

Your POV

    I grabbed the car keys off my side table before heading out my bedroom door with my backpack slung over my shoulder. I stopped in the kitchen to grab the lunch I had packed the previous evening and a thermos of coffee before heading out for another day of boring ass classes. When I enrolled at the local community college to major in folklore and mythology, I thought the classes would be more interesting and it would be a piece of cake but unfortunately, I got stuck with a boring professor who obviously didn’t even want to be teaching the class in the first place. I push the garage doors open before making my way over to the car. I open the door and drop down into the driver’s seat, set my thermos in the cupholder near my feet, and toss my backpack and lunchbox into the passenger seat. After closing the door, I sigh as I place my hands on the steering wheel, “Alright, Baby. Another day without him but I know you’ve still got my back.” I reach over and pat the dash before cranking the ignition and pulling out of the garage to head for school. The ride to school is quiet aside from the classic rock drifting softly through the speakers.  

    I manage to find a decent parking spot within walking distance of my class but have to mentally prepare myself before grabbing my coffee and backpack and stepping out of the car. I lock the doors, shut mine, and head towards class. On autopilot, I find the classroom that I need and take my usual seat near the front against a wall and turn my back to the wall as I always do. Aside from a few who like to get here early for the same reason I do, to get our favorite seats, the majority of the class hasn’t arrived yet so I pull out my notebook, pen, and coffee. I avoid all eye contact with the others in the room and label my notebook page for today’s lecture. For the most part, people around here seem to avoid me although I haven’t decided if it’s because I intimidate them or because they think I’m “one of those backwoods crazy people” or perhaps it’s both. Regardless, it suits me fine. I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to get a degree and do something useful with my new life. When he died, Sam and I both agreed to not try to find a way to bring him back and try to create a normal life. Every now and then, I secretly take a hunt but it’s usually nothing more than a basic salt and burn case. I did get a job at a local mechanic shop. They were practically begging me to take the job when I showed up for the interview in Baby.

    I’m pulled from my thoughts as a loud group of guys enter the room. I try to ignore them but as per usual their little pack leader wants to try to ruin my day. He calls out to me but thankfully before he can start something, the instructor enters and tells him to have a seat. I’ll have to give this instructor points for at least not putting up with any bullshit like that in his class. Anyway, the rest of the class joins shortly and takes their seats and, on the dot, as always, the instructor starts his lecture. A miserable hour and a half later I have several pages of notes, most of which are completely false from a hunter’s perspective, about topics I already know the truth about just so I know what the instructor will expect on the test. The instructor dismisses us so I pack away all my things and head back to the car to eat lunch before my next class.

    I’m about halfway back to the car, which is completely hidden by a huge, jacked up, 4x4 pickup truck, when the loud group of guys catches up to me and their leader calls out again, "Hey, nerd! Why don’t you stop for a second? I didn’t get a chance to take notes in class and I want to get pictures of yours.”

    I ignore him and keep my head down as I mumble under my breath, “yeah because you were sleeping,” and continue to the car. As I come around the back end of the pickup and approach the car, I slam into something, or rather someone, sturdy and nearly get knocked on my ass if it weren’t for the person catching me. Out of instinct I go to grab my dagger out of its sheath under my sleeve but the person grabs my hand, “Don’t pull that thing out here. It’s just me.” Hearing that voice causes pure shock mixed with a touch of suspicion to wash over me. I look up and into the face of my formerly, dearly departed best friend, Dean Winchester. However, before I can ask questions or even test to make sure it’s him, the small group of my classmates rounds the end of the pickup truck causing Dean to push me behind him in a protective way.  

    The pack leader grins mischievously, “Who’s this? You know this guy, nerd?”

    I roll my eyes but Dean speaks up for me, “I’m (Y/n)’s brother you little bitch. Now, fuck off and leave her alone.” In all honesty, Dean wasn’t biologically my brother but he and Sam have been the closest thing to having any siblings in general that I’ve ever gotten.  

    The pack leader looks around Dean at me, “This true?” I nod. He laughs, “Well, I don’t know which of you are driving this piece of junk but you should probably get with the times and stop driving this old rust bucket. Maybe you could upgrade to a nice truck like mine here,” he taunts patting the truck parked beside us.

    “Your attention seeking, overcompensating piece of shit on wheels could never handle the things this car has been through,” Dean argues, stepping forward. I grab his arm and tug in attempts to get him to back down, no luck.

    The guy scoffs, “Yeah right. I bet if your little friend behind you there hit a curb it’d tear this car to pieces.”

    Before Dean can get into a fist fight, I unlock the car door and shove him in before climbing in myself. Unfortunately, the asshole doesn’t get the hint that I’m leaving and leans back against Baby. I check the mirrors to make sure that I’m not going to run anyone over before driving forward out of my spot, mentally thanking whoever didn’t park there or had just pulled out of the spot in front of me, causing the pack leader to fall on his ass. I laugh to myself as I watch in the rearview mirror and then take off. I find a secluded spot on campus to park so that I can test Dean, figure out what the hell happened with him, and eat my lunch before my next class in four hours. When I put the car in park, and look over, he’s already rolled his sleeve up and has a silver blade ready for the test. He presses the blade into his arm right above another wound that looks fresh.  

    “I figure if Sam wanted all the tests done then you definitely will,” he grumbles before wrapping his arm having sufficiently proven he’s not allergic to the silver. I grab the bottle of holy water that I keep in my backpack and hand it to him. He takes a sip of it before handing it back to me. I nod in understanding before grabbing my lunchbox to eat.

    Once I’ve opened my sandwich, I take a bite, chew, and swallow before asking, “What happened this time?”

    “I don’t know, Sam’s working on that now,” he pauses, watching me, “I’d like to know what the hell happened to you.”

    “There it is again. You never call him Sam but that’s twice in just the past few minutes,” I muse, avoiding his question, “I guess you’re pissed at him because he stopped hunting?”

    “Yeah, and it seems to me like you did too so why don’t you answer my question?” he replies.

    I sigh, and toss my sandwich back onto the paper towel in my lap, “After we lost you, Sam and I agreed to not go looking for a way to bring you back and to start living a normal life. Granted, I always mentally thanked him for phrasing it that way because that meant if a way to bring you back fell into my lap then I could take the opportunity. Regardless, I got a job at a mechanic shop nearby and started classes here for a degree in folklore and mythology.”

    He scoffs and whips his head around to look out the windshield, “So you stopped hunting too. What the hell is wrong with you two?”

    “The two of us didn’t stop hunting. He did,” I snap back, “He doesn’t know it but I go on hunts every now and then when the apple pie life gets too boring.”

    “What about that asshole back there? Why do you let him bully you?” he asks, nodding his head toward where we had come from earlier.

    “He’s always trying to pick on me but I ignore him for the most part and keep my dagger in my sleeve just in case. The less attention I draw to myself the better.” I answer.

    “You’re really balancing all this? Like, you go to class and study for exams and shit but then every now and then you go hunting during the weekend?” he asks and I nod. “So, what about Sammy?”

    “He got a job, even been on a few dates but like I said, he stopped hunting, as far as I know anyway,” I respond. My phone dings before either of us could say anything else so I pick it up to check it and find that my instructor for my other class for today has sent out a message to cancel it for today. I toss the phone down onto the seat between us and stuff my sandwich and everything else I had pulled out back into my lunchbox before putting the car in drive and backing out of this spot.

    “What are you doing?” he questions, once again. I swear if he doesn’t knock it off with the questions, I’m going to roundhouse his ass.

    “Going home. My other class for today was cancelled,” I answer shortly.

    He’s quiet until we get to the campus entrance, “Can we- uh- Can we stop and get a burger on the way?” I nod as I laugh at him. This is probably going to be weird to adapt to but we’ll figure it out. The three of us always figure things out. Honestly, if this turns into something bigger, as it usually does, then wouldn’t mind quitting school. Turns out it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and definitely not for me. I just hope Dean won’t sulk too long about how Sam and I handled life after losing him.

Masterlist

Taglist: @emiijemii @akshi8278 @deandaydreaming @castiels-majestic-wings​ @desimarie12​