#I love exploring and studying the worlds of the series I'm writing too? So I can be as accurate as possible when I jump into its setting
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A quick heads up regarding Natlan for anything GI related on this blog: I won't be writing in Natlan settings until the end of the Archon Quest. We all know I take games quite slowly; I'm an explorer first and foremost, and I like to get as much out of an area in a game before I move on - And with Genshin, I heavily dislike speedrunning new content, as it means being without quests and the like for several weeks and left with very little to do. I'd rather explore, learn as much as I can about the new areas and such, enjoy it, and have quests on my list to do later than speedrun plot, even though I'm excited for it! <3
But Genshin is also a game where it's going to be several months until we get the full, primary storyline, and I'd much rather wait to do anything in a Natlan setting so that I have the full plot and can decide what I want to do on my own, with all the plot points laid out in front of me - Just like I did with Fontaine last year. This is only for the setting, though - I'll still happily write with Natlan based muses, just not in Natlan~!
As usual, I will be tagging any spoilers I might mention/reblog for the next two weeks with TW: Genshin Spoilers. <3
Hope y'all enjoy exploring the new content~!
~Pom
#Out Of Poms [OOC]#Genshin is a comfort game for me too?#So I really like having something to do in it - be that exploring or quests or whatever - at any given time#But its size and the sheer amount of lore it has also makes it a game I don't want to just... Jump into writing the new content#It's not something I can just skim the wiki for and go from there#I've been playing for nearly two years and there's still SO much lore I haven't got a clue about and I love it XD#I love exploring and studying the worlds of the series I'm writing too? So I can be as accurate as possible when I jump into its setting#and threads#But especially with GI I'd much rather have the entire AQ in front of me before I start writing in the new areas#So I'm not flying against future canon events or stepping on the toes of canon or anything <3
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┈─★ 𝘪'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩 .
⊹ ࣪ ˖ everyone has warned you about the less than shining reputation of women's hockey team captain daniela avanzini. arrogant, hot-headed, so, so bad for you, and extremely off-limits. so why is it that you can't get the blonde out of your head?
ˎˊ˗ ❄️ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🔓୭˚. ⠀ ᵎᵎ ⠀ 🗝️
➴ pairing: hockey captain! daniela avanzini x coach's daughter! f!reader
➴ genre + wc: 23k, college au, forbidden/off-limits romance, friends w benefits to lovers?, sneaking around, slow burn, angst, bad communication, they start off toxic sorry not sorry, fuckboy/fratboy jock dani, reader's "i can fix him" energy is much too strong, however "you fall first she falls harder."
➴ you might want to tune in...: hurt (250 remix) - newjeans
┈─★ a/n: and we are all now officially full circle in the ditto verse to welcome home our fav fuckboy daddy dani <3 let me know what you think. i know it was a ton but i had so much fun exploring this dynamic i just couldn't stop adding to it. i'm gonna miss u hockeyverse!wigline but they were genuinely so much fun to write. hit me up with any ideas for anyone, i'd love to write a few shorter things/imagines and get more creative! thank you again for your time and all the love everyone has given this series! <3
cw:// mentions of recreational drug use, suggestive themes, mild violence but it's a hockey fic so that was to be expected i think....
[*set one year following the events of ditto/hlbwfil!]
“and another thing, your location stays on at all times.” your dad’s rambling to making sure you know exactly how little freedom you have. “you go to class, you come to practice, you go to the library maybe, and you go home.”
you cross your arms. “dining hall?”
“fine, dining hall.” he huffs. “i want permission before you step foot off this campus.”
“not happening,” you tell him simply. the vein in his forehead looks like it’s about to burst.
“oh, are you paying for your own lawyer? after all the shit you pulled, you’re lucky you were even able to transfer.” he glares you down, his brow twitching. “i’m trying to keep you from ruining your life, y/n.”
“y/n,” your mom adds sternly, as a warning. “you have no idea how lucky you are that you get to start fresh after this.”
“yeah, no cheer, no friends, basically under house arrest, finishing college in the stupid boring city i grew up in instead of literally anywhere else. i feel like a real winner,” you roll your eyes, disappearing upstairs to go find your laptop before they can keep lecturing you.
you can talk back all you want, but they’ve never listened anyways.
the last thing you want for your junior year of college is to have to start over, but here you are, trying to memorize the layout of this confusing campus before classes start tomorrow. you slip your earphones in and close your eyes, trying to get some rest. you have a feeling this semester is going to be a hard one.
-
you’ve always hated growing up in this city. he drives you to campus together and you hate the fact that you’re a year away from graduating and getting a ride from your dad still. you find your way around your first few classes and end sitting next to a gorgeous bobbed girl in your world literature class.
“do you care about this stuff?” you ask, figuring you might as well make friends if you’re going to have to start over.
“i do,” she nods.
“would you be down to study with someone who doesn’t?”
she laughs and gives you a quick once-over. “you give trustworthy vibes.”
your dad was extremely clear. classes, practice, then straight home. you make your way to the stadium to get to their practice, under your dad’s direction after you get lost twice. you hate feeling the eyes on you as you walk into the training area, clearly a new face amongst people who’ve been training together since the summer time.
“new prospect?” someone asks.
your dad clears his throat and motions to you. “this is y/n, my daughter, she’ll be shadowing for the season.”
“i didn’t know you had a girl, coach,” a blue-haired girl says curiously, waving up at you as you set your stuff down on a bench.
you’re not surprised. he usually only talks about the boys, your two older brothers, and how one is currently a commentator for the nhl and the other runs a hockey training camp on the east coast.
“she’ll be stats manager,” he tells them, and it catches you by surprise— it’s the first you’re hearing of it.
“isn’t that the assistant coach’s job?” you question.
“always good to have an extra pair of eyes,” he says, glaring over at you, almost threateningly, and the double meaning isn’t lost on you.
“welcome to the team,” a tall brunette says to you as she gets on the ice, and you smile appreciatively at everyone who acknowledges you, even if it’s just kissing your ass to get better with your dad.
you hate starting new. you watch a red-haired girl, a ginger, and a blonde coming down the rafters, gear in hand, the blonde laughing as the red-haired girl tries grabbing her by the shoulder. they’re approaching you quickly, and maybe you should move out of the way of the player box, but by the time the thought occurs, they’re in front of you.
“off limits,” you hear the red-haired girl say quickly.
“what is?” you ask, but you’re cut off by a rush of someone in your bubble.
“hi,” the blonde girl, now just inches out of your face, greets breathlessly, a giant smile on her face. “you are absolutely gorgeous.”
oh god. it’s a strong first impression, but the way her dimple creases in the corner of her cheek makes your heart thud. you feel your cheeks turning red and already abandoning you.
“thank you,” you manage, before the taller ginger yanks her back.
“are you sure you’re related to our coach?” the red-haired one laughs. “the big bald dude who looks like he’ll shit himself at minor inconveniences?”
“dna test says i’m his,” you joke weakly.
you can hear them mumbling amongst themselves as they get on the ice and skate away.
“god damn,” the blonde shakes her head.
“off limits,” another girl echoes, shoving into her shoulder.
your dad hands you a clipboard, and the assistant coaches comes up to you to break down your new job. you look up and spot the blonde on the ice. the assistant coach’s words get lost in your ear. maybe you’ll let yourself enjoy the view.
practice is long and tedious. you’ve never been a hockey girl, much to your dad’s frustration, so watching this is like torture for the past two hours.
you hear a sharp whistle, the one that someone blows from between their teeth. your eyes snap up to meet those sharp mischievous ones, staring you down from the ice.
“dani, don’t fucking start–” you hear the goalie warn, but the blonde is already blasting past her, building up a dangerous amount of speed.
realizing her pleas are on deaf ears, the goalie cheers instead, hollering at the top of her lungs. you laugh. what a girl– if you can’t stop her, might as well cheer her on.
without a single ounce of hesitation, this “dani” girl pivots to skate backwards, braces down, and leaps up to land a recklessly tossed backflip. you almost wish she’d crash, just to wipe that shit-eating grin off her face– but no, she wobbles but sticks the landing, and you get the hint that this isn’t the first time she’s done something like this.
“avanzini, we said no more with the fucking backflips! stop showing off,” the assistant coach grunts. “ten laps since you want to be such a smart ass.”
she looks over at you one last time and flashes a grin at the assistant coach. “i’ll do eleven as an apology.”
she’s still doing laps when your dad gives a quick reminder about tomorrow’s practice and waves the girls off. they trickle off the ice and towards their gear one by one. you’re waiting for your dad before you hear a tap on the plexiglass, turning to spot the blonde waving at you from the other side.
“hey, don’t forget about me when you leave here today, alright?” she grins.
“already forgot your name,” you tell her, and you won’t mention having picked up on it from the goalie.
“it’s dani.” she breathes up against the plexiglass and traces the letters in. she grins charmingly, pointing to the word written in the fog of her breath against the glass. “d-a-n-i. now you won’t forget it, promise?”
you shake your head laughing as she skates past you. your dad is on another lecture as the two of you drive home, him rambling something about who knows what. you’re not listening, anyways.
you don’t want to give her the satisfaction, but her stupid antics worked. you can’t get the blonde out of your head.
-
chaewon, the girl from your literature class, adopts you and somehow you’re always 2 degrees of separation from that stupid team. chaewon is dating one of the defenders, the blue-haired girl named yunjin, but luckily chae’s other friends don’t care for hockey quite as much.
going to practice is still a pain, but the girls are never mean to you. you start to pick up on the names, the dynamics of the girls, and how your dad sees them. he mentioned last names to you before, but the names never stuck. you’re way better with faces anyways.
there’s a clear star on that ice, an insanely fast ginger who pushes so hard, she’s dripping sweat within minutes of each practice starting.
your dad never critiques one of the goalies, simply nodding at everything she does the way he used to approve of your brothers. you pick up on her likelihood of being your dad’s favorite and make a mental note of it. she’ll be the one you hunt down when you need to get out from under his radar.
and that damn blonde. you see the way his head gets progressively redder and redder each time he screams at her. but what you like about her is she bites right back— for every call your dad makes that someone else swallows and takes on the chin, daniela is pausing practice entirely and challenging him on it.
“i’m not arguing with you again, avanzini,” he growls at practice during week 2 of school. his face reddens as he blows the whistle. as much as you expect for the whistle to resume play, daniela holds her hand up to the rest of the team. they stay frozen on the ice.
listening to this girl, instead of the head coach? when you did cheer, your coach’s word was like god. to see just how much influence the blonde has on the group is terrifying.
“give me one good reason why kazuha should sweep left if she’s right dominant instead of passing,” dani questions.
“throws off incoming offense,” your dad responds.
“no, it throws off our outgoing offense,” daniela pushes back, nearly a growl. “if zuha passes backwards to yunjin, megan’s fast enough to catch whatever she sends up and i can block off anyone incoming.”
“megan’s fast but not—“
“i can be faster,” megan chirps up, nervous eyes on your dad as she hides behind the shorter blonde. “dani always knows where to put the puck. if we fake it and send it back to yunjin, dani can make a hole, and i can be there.”
“do you hear how insane you guys sound, intentionally losing ground?” your dad balks.
“kazuha’s strongest doing what she does best: covering right. yunjin’s powerful enough to get the pass up, and megan is fast enough to receive it.” daniela skates right up to your dad, where he stands in the player box, and gives a confident smirk. “and i’m damn smart enough to see who’s gonna try to intercept it.”
you can tell this is the girl that has cost him many sleepless nights. “the shit-head” as he used to refer to her when he’d rant about work.
-
the team has a friendly scrimmage against a neighboring team later that week before the season starts, you see the team’s synergy on full display. your dad runs them like a well oiled machine, working like a pack of lions to take down a kill with your dad orchestrating all of it.
and daniela, with that damn smirk as she blasts past everyone on the ice with expert precision.
“she’s not exactly the biggest, but she’s smart on that ice,” your dad tells you in the car after their scrimmage win, shaking his head. “smart as all hell. kills me that our team captain is such a shit-head, but damn can she can perform.”
“and left wing, that position with that ego?” he keeps rambling. “when i met her before her freshman year, when she had first signed with the university, i was shitting myself thinking she’d be a puck hog, but she’s such a team fucking player. her and kazuha set megan up like clockwork. that little megan is shaky off the ice but such a force when she’s got the right set up.”
“and daniela is the right setup?” you question curiously.
“daniela and kazuha. they work together.” your dad explains, gesturing with two fingers side by side. “the defensemen keep to the back to support the goalie, and the wings work together up front to support the center.”
“okay,” you breathe, but your mind is still on that damn captain for reasons you can’t explain. maybe hockey has some redeeming qualities.
“you know, kiddo, it’s nice to see you so interested,” he smiles as you guys pull into the driveway.
you choke back the laugh. maybe you’ll spare your poor dad from your inner thoughts.
-
the hockey girls are nice to you, but almost too nice. you can tell they’re tip-toeing as they assess how delicate you are. it sucks, because you’d love to make friends with them if you have to spend every day seeing them, but at least you have chaewon, and she’s exactly who you seek out when you decide to do a little digging.
“what do you know about daniela avanzini?” you ask her one day out of the blue, as you’re in line together for coffee.
“oh, she plays hockey with my girlfriend,” chaewon says, but you can tell there’s more she’s not telling you just by how she stiffened at the name.
“and?” you press.
“she’s the captain of their team.”
“and?”
“y/n, what are you trying to find out?”
“i’m just curious,” you shrug. “my dad can’t stop talking shit about her but she’s nothing but nice to me.”
“i’m sure she’s nice to you, just like all the girls are, so your dad doesn’t kill them,” chaewon laughs. she pauses, then shakes her head, letting out a sigh. “yunjin has her thoughts. dani’s… somethin’. i’m not a fan, personally.”
“you’re the first person that’s been honest with me,” you thank her. you hold onto her words for the rest of the day, even at the end of the night when you’re curled up in bed scrolling through your powerpoints for the next day.
chaewon doesn’t forget, and sends you a link. you open it and it sends you to a tik tok.
“who on the team would you not let your kid date?” the girl behind the camera asks, before cutting to several other girls on the team.
“dani.”
“oh, definitely daniela.”
“daniela avanzini.”
the final scene of the tik tok is the blonde herself, a big toothy grin, clearly not in on the joke.
“my name is daniela and i’m a left wing.”
you stare at the comments.
oh i get it
HI DANIELA (louder than the rest)
raw, in reverse, on my knees, whenever she wants it, til the bed breaks, til the neighbors call the cops-
you feel your curiosity multiply at the next related video, one of her giving a few press statements following last year’s championship win.
“we played smart and worked together. the only thing you can ask for is unity, and this year proves what a good unit can do.” she seems so serious in the clip, yet equally playful as you’ve seen her. an interesting balance for the face of their team.
“you were able to focus on all his despite losing player of the year?” the interviewer asks.
“i’m player of the year in many people’s hearts, and that’s good enough for me. gotta keep a good head game up if i want to rep that C,” she responds.
you roll your eyes at the way she smirks at the camera. the comments all go crazy over her suggestive double meaning, but it’s the most viewed video on the account, so you kinda get it. dani is infuriatingly charming, and that makes for a great face for the team.
you feel your pulse race. god, what is it with you and the intrigue of this girl who everyone is telling you to run far, far away from?
-
“hey!” lara greets you the next day after the girls all finish up with physical therapy. she’s always been particularly passionate about making sure you feel included, and recently, you’ve let yourself believe it’s a sincere attempt at forging a friendship.
“what’s up?”
“a few of us are going back to my place to watch tapes on the tv, prepping for the game.” she hands you her phone, opened to the dial pad. “you’re welcome to join us.”
“you sure i won’t be intruding?” you ask before giving her your contact info.
“not at all. we’ll be up late. it’ll be like a fun hockey sleepover.” lara smiles, before motioning over to the ginger. “don’t let the puppy dog scare you off, we fed her once and now we can’t seem to get rid of her.”
“if i knew being your housemate meant you’d keep making that stupid stray dog joke, i would have just stayed living in the dorms,” megan glares at the older girl.
you laugh and nod in appreciation. “i’d love that. i think chaewon is getting tired of me interrupting her study time. i’ll be there.”
your dad is actually quite pleased to hear you’ll be reviewing tapes, and drops you off at lara and megan’s place just a few minutes off campus. you figured lara’s name would be the key to getting out of house arrest, and you were right.
the house is huge and slightly messy, littered with clothes and meal prep boxes, the clear home to some very serious student athletes.
you’re getting comfortable on the couch as megan runs to get you a water bottle, when a bedroom door opens and you’re staring directly into the dark mischievous eyes that have been stuck in your head for the past two weeks.
“what are you doing here?” she asks quickly, narrowing her eyes in confusion.
“reviewing tapes.” you blink as you realize whatever room she came out of, she came out in only some shorts and a sports bra. you try not to objectify her, but damn is she making it hard. “same as you?”
“i live here,” daniela responds quickly, and you come to the realization that lara didn’t specify megan as her only roommate.
“put some clothes on,” lara rolls her eyes, throwing a hoodie in dani’s direction. “we have company, you animal.”
“sorry you’re jealous of my insanely hot bod. if you looked like this you’d be half naked everywhere too,” the blonde pushes back, and you try to ignore the way you feel your heartbeat in every vein as she hops over the back of the couch and gets comfy next to you on the couch as lara turns on the first video.
you begrudgingly share with lara that your dad is extremely protective, and she’s the only one he trusts you to hang out with. she beams proudly and promises to not get you into any trouble with curfews or whatever.
lara’s girlfriend joins you guys just a few minutes later, as do a few other girls from the team. being alone with them away from your dad helps them loosen up a little, and it’s actually really fun to see their actual dynamic instead of the fake niceties you see as they try to be on their best behavior at practice.
11pm rolls around, and your dad shoots you a text letting you know he expects you back before midnight. you want to scream at how little freedom you have even at your grown age, but the girls are all extremely understanding and offer their own solutions to helping you get home without having to rely on your dad to come pick you up.
“i can uber,” you wave them off, not wanting to inconvenience anyone.
“no, dani’ll drive you home,” lara states firmly, pulling out her phone. “i’ll vouch to your dad for you since i’m your designated guardian angel.”
you don’t want to be a burden, but the thought of getting to finally talk 1 on 1 with the girl stuck in your head sends your pulse racing.
“is that okay with you?” you ask, turning towards the captain in question.
“yeah,” she nods, getting off the couch and slipping on her sneakers. “lar, give me the keys.”
“no stops, no detours, no nothing,” lara warns, tossing her the keychain. “it takes 15 minutes to get there so i’m gonna watch your location. if i don’t see you driving back home in 16, i’m calling the police on you.”
“fine,” the blonde responds curtly, motioning for you to follow her outside.
“daniela, i’m so serious,” lara threatens. “be decent.”
dani rolls her eyes and waves her off as you two make your way to the car.
“thanks for being willing to take me,” you tell her, trying to be loud enough over the heater blasting. you don’t know how she’s able to just be out in the fall-time weather in a hoodie, shorts, and some socks.
“no worries.” she shakes her head, eyes locked on the road. “coach doesn’t want you out of his sight or what?”
“he thinks being on high alert keeps me out of trouble,” you roll your eyes.
“what kind of trouble did you get into?” she asks curiously.
you freeze. ugh. and this was supposed to be your fresh start.
“i just really, really like doing things i’m not supposed to,” you answer after a moment, hoping it’s enough.
“ah,” she says simply, her jaw hardening, but there’s a smirk threatening to come out. “that’s my bad habit too.”
you admire the way the red lights illuminate her skin, the roundness of her features, the contrast against the sharpness of those mischievous eyes.
“kind of embarrassing that you know my dad like that,” you wrinkle your nose.
“he’s not that bad, as far as coaches go, obviously can’t speak about him as a dad.” she snorts. “i’d kill to have a dad that passionate about hockey.”
“have your parents ever seen you play?” you ask, hoping to get to know more about this girl.
she looks at you in surprise. you wonder if she’s ever been asked this question or what.
“when i was a kid, they were at every game. not so much for collegiate.”
“live too far or what?” you ask curiously.
she smiles, but it’s a smile of hesitation. you try to read what she’s debating within herself.
“they cut me off when i was 18.”
“why?”
“tried to bring a girl home for my birthday.” she clicks her tongue. “big mistake.”
“you’re serious?” you ask, half-shocked at the answer.
“they cut me off, and the girl dumped me. double whammy. luckily, lara’s family took me in for the summer.”
“how far back do you guys go?” you ask, curious about their dynamic. of course they’re also close with megan, but lara has always seemed particularly protective of dani, weird considering dani is technically in a position of power over her friend.
“we met at a hockey camp in the 5th grade,” daniela smiles. “every time her parents see us play, they cheer for me too.”
she’s so sweet, sharing this piece of herself with you, you figure she deserves a piece of your puzzle too.
“i got kicked out of school because they caught me with drugs.” you confess, and you don’t know what it is about daniela’s sincerity that makes you feel like you can trust her. “they weren’t mine. they were my friend’s, and she needs to be there, getting a cheer scholarship, going to school.”
“you took the fall?” she asks, and her voice is full of surprise without being full of judgement.
“i have a family, a house,” you explain, “she had literally nothing.”
she arches a brow and smiles at you through the corner of her eye, still looking at the road.
“i just thought you had a bad attitude,” she teases.
you laugh. “i have that too.”
“as someone who could have easily been in your friend’s shoes, she’s lucky to have someone like you,” daniela tells you, and the sincerity in her voice makes your whole body go warm. you can’t help but dive into a deeper question, something that’s been clawing at you.
“dani,” you start, your voice dropping quietly. “can i ask you something?”
“as long as you’re prepared to not like my answer,” she laughs, and you catch yourself in the shimmer of her tooth gem.
you breathe out softly, trying to connect the dots.
“how come everyone is telling me not to be friends with you?”
daniela’s smile falls ever so slightly, her hands tightening around the steering wheel.
“are they?” she wrinkles her nose.
“kazuha said i’m off limits, lara’s whole ‘be decent,’ thing,” you remind her, trying to think back to other times the team has been weird about dani being around you. “have you bullied people off the team before or what?”
“something like that,” she shakes her head, staring off at the street.
“you’re the only person who doesn’t treat me weird because of my dad,” you tell her, “you’re not delicate or super nice to me like i’m going to snitch on you.”
“i’m an asshole to everyone,” she laughs.
“but you’re not an asshole,” you push. “you’re actually very, very decent.”
“is that a compliment? i’ll take it as a compliment.” she beams. “i thrive off attention, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“you’re hard to not notice,” you poke back.
you both laugh together as the car pulls into park. you half think about asking her to kiss you, those insanely beautiful lips achingly close, but your eyes dart to the time and you realize it’s 30 seconds until lara threatened to call. you hate this stupid house arrest shit.
“hope you don’t get your ass beat,” she says simply, and you laugh again.
“thank you for driving me.”
“don’t get used to it,” she reaches over your lap to unlock your car door, and the proximity of her body sends your brain into overdrive. she swing the door open and pulls back into her own seat. “you won’t get the princess treatment here.”
“wouldn’t want it anyways.” you give her a quick once-over before leaving the car, taking the moment in one last time. she waves as she watches you disappear back inside.
maybe the team thinks they know her, but the version you saw tonight of the blonde makes you feel like you’re going crazy. daniela checks off all the boxes. authentic, unfiltered, and infuriatingly hot. you fall back onto your bed once you get upstairs and let your mind roam into fantasy world, and you finally admit to yourself what it seems your body has known for much, much longer.
you have a crush on daniela avanzini.
-
the first game throws you straight into the deep end of college hockey. you didn’t realize how serious women’s hockey was to the university until you see the jam-packed crowd, nearly every single seat in the arena filled with screaming fans for the team’s season-opener game.
“good luck,” you tell the girls, nerves fluttering in your chest as you take to the coach’s bench next to your dad and the assistant coaches.
you spot megan press a quick kiss to her girlfriend’s lips and raise a thumbs up at you. a few other girls nod at your well-wishes, but that blonde is pushing past them all without an ounce of fear.
“don’t need it,” dani tells you simply, grinning before hitting the ice.
the game is insanely fast paced, and you never realized just how fun keeping up with hockey can be when you’re actually invested. the scrimmage was interesting but the actual game is addicting, violent and coordinated all at once, making it impossible to tear your eyes away. the girls dominate the first period, keeping an early lead on the other team. the second period is a strong play for defense to keep their lead up. it’s in the third and final period where they get a little shaky, the rookies starting to stand out from the veterans as a missed play accidentally gives up a shot to the other team, tying them back up 1-1.
your dad, infuriated by this misstep, calls a timeout and the girls all come zooming to the player box, dripping in sweat and drinking hurriedly from their water bottles.
“who cost us that fucking shot?” your dad roars angrily from the time out.
you know the only reason the other team got the puck was because of that new little freshman eunchae, who was losing steam in this last period and ended up too far back in her zone to catch the pass back from yunjin, giving it up by accident to allow the other team to score.
“me,” daniela immediately speaks up, and you feel your face twist in confusion. “it was me. i wasn’t open for eunchae to make it to me.”
before you can call her out for the lie, she shoots you a glare, and you realize what she’s trying to tell you.
“you’ll feel it in practice,” your dad threatens.
“i’ll get us up by two,” daniela bites back immediately.
“big talk for someone who just let us get tied in the bottom of final period.”
daniela leaps over the wall and takes back to the ice before the timeout is even called over. she’s skating hard enough to look like she’ll smash through the ice with each stride.
you analyze it. lara and yunjin sharing a look, eunchae looking both panicked and relieved as she sits on the bench and lets the other defenseman swap her in, megan skating up to dani and trying to say something to her. but daniela waves her off, pointing to a few spots on the ice, before the timeout ends, kazuha regains her position, and the faceoff starts once more.
you hate to admit it, lest it feed your crush any more, but holy shit, is daniela good.
the debate with your dad ramps her up into 6th gear. she was good before, but she’s insane now, her movements sharper, her skating harder. every time the puck ends up in her control, if she’s not taking a shot, then she’s making sure megan can. she’s absolutely relentless in her pursuit of catching up.
“she’s freaking their goalie out,” the assistant coach says, realizing what daniela’s intention is. the blitz at every opportunity has clearly exhausted the goalie on the other team, meanwhile lara in the goalie box has barely gotten a chance to see the puck due to dani’s aggressive offense. kazuha passes to dani, who makes a shot to bring them up a lead 2-1, but it doesn’t seem to be enough for daniela.
true to her word, the buzzer hits with dani sending a pass to a waiting megan, who scores them a final point.
ending score: 3-1.
“i better see you a half hour early tomorrow for that extra point you cost us,” your dad huffs at dani as the girls are barely coming off the ice.
“bring me a donut, big guy,” she bites back dryly, her chest heaving. you’re amazed she can manage to get the words out after how tired she seems.
you wait in the car as your dad does the post-game debrief, but when he gets in the driver’s seat, you have some pressing questions based off what you saw.
“she got the team up to the win. why are you so hard on her?” you ask as your dad drives you guys home.
“avanzini? that’s what a captain is for,” he responds in confusion.
“to be a punching bag?”
“to be responsible,” he corrects. “it was her call to start eunchae instead of letting her watch from the bench. i’m not blind, i know it was hong’s fault she lost that pass.”
“so then why did you let dani take the fall if it wasn’t her fault?”
“because it was her call.”
“but this is eunchae’s first game. i’m sure it gave her tons of confidence to see playtime and know her mistakes won’t cost her.”
“then hopefully avanzini finds it worth it.”
you won’t pretend to understand. you finally decide to commit and follow each of the team members on instagram. they all follow you back within the hour– all except for daniela.
-
your crush only grows, and yet, you feel like since that night in the car, something shifted for her. she’s less attentive to you, less eager for your attention, almost intentionally cold. she avoids your eyes during group meetings, stops sitting next to you during tape reviews, and she still hasn’t fucking followed you back on instagram. you don’t know what her deal is, but your intuition tells you to push deeper.
that’s why, when you spot the blonde curls peeking out from under a beanie at the coffee shop near your house your dad gave you permission to walk to, you tug her by the sleeve and smile as she turns around, pulling her headphones off her head.
“hi, did you drive here?” you ask curiously, noting that she’s breathing heavily and covered in sweat.
“i always stop here when i finish my runs,” she answers, but the way she’s eyeing the door makes you wonder what exactly she’s so eager to escape.
“perfect,” you sing song, reaching out to her with your hand outstretched. “walk me home?”
“bad idea,” she says quickly.
“good idea,” you push back. “plus, i owe lara her textbook back.”
it’s true, lara’s girlfriend had let you borrow a book for your class, and it’s sitting on the corner of your nightstand. maybe you just need an excuse to talk to her again, to figure out why she’s playing this game of hot and cold with you, and you figure she’ll respond best to directness.
“you’re avoiding me,” you tell her, less of a question than an observation.
“not true.” she shakes her head, taking a sip from her drink. “just been busy.”
“yeah, busy avoiding me,” you push.
“maybe you’re just annoying as shit,” she bites back, but there’s a slight grin at the corners of her lips that make it feel more teasing than hurtful.
“you wouldn’t know if i’m annoying or not, ‘cause you’re avoiding me, remember?” you answer.
“fine,” she gives in, wrapping her headphones around her neck and reaching for your arm. “ i’ll walk you home, just to prove my point.”
you can’t deny the satisfaction of knowing she’s giving in, and the way she guides you out of the door of the coffee shop by your arm makes you relish in the closeness. you’ve only had one real conversation with her, but it was enough to crave another one, and walking side by side up the sidewalk gives you a warm sense of victory in your chest.
“i know you covered for eunchae,” you start, feeling the breeze nip at your nose.
“don’t know what you’re talking about,” she smiles playfully, eyes focused on the concrete. “you know me, i just like making coach mad.”
“if you want a dad to yell at you ‘cause yours doesn’t, feel free to keep him.”
“you make me sound super fucked up when you put it that way,” she shakes her head. “like it’s a daddy issues thing.”
“the way you try to push his buttons on purpose makes it seem like a daddy issues thing,” you laugh.
“i just like getting under people’s skin,” she shrugs, and you feel your heart thud at that stupid damn dimple.
“you’re good at that,” you admit, and you almost forget what exactly you two are talking about. “too good.”
before you know it, you’re in front of the house, a cozy two story with a giant tree in front of your window that you and your brothers had planted when you were just kids.
“this is where coach lives?” daniela asks, looking up and down in surprise.
“i grew up here. i’d rather live alone in a dorm than with my parents, but that’s consequences or whatever,” you roll your eyes. “let me give you lara’s book. it’s upstairs.”
you push past the front door and realize dani is still lingering on the porch, staring hesitantly at the entrance.
“you can come in,” you reassure her, before noting, “nobody’s home.”
you see her eyes flicker up to you, assessing the lack of cars in the driveway, before she kicks off her shoes and follows you in.
daniela avanzini is in your room. you try not to make a huge deal out of it, but your mind is absolutely racing.
“don’t mind the boxes, i still haven’t unpacked all the stuff i brought back from school,” you warn. motioning to the piles in your otherwise tidy room.
“cute,” she smiles, pointing to the framed picture of you with your former cheer team. “do you miss them?”
“all the time,” you admit. “but we talk a ton, so it’s easier.”
“this one’s hot,” she says, pointing to the picture.
“don’t piss me off,” you warn, laughing.
you see something return to those mischievous dark eyes of hers as they flicker up to meet yours, her tongue pressing against her teeth.
“what if i like pissing you off?”
“you’d be admitting to liking me,” you answer quickly, and she grins back at you.
“you’ve got a smart fuckin’ mouth on you,” she says, wagging a finger in your face.
“yeah?” you challenge, feeling your pulse race as you push her finger away. “you’re pretty cocky yourself.”
“i like the attention,” she reiterates.
“but not from me?” you question playfully, taking a step closer into her bubble. “why were you avoiding me?”
“i was avoiding you,” she finally admits, reaching up to rub her jaw as she avoids your eyes. “i know you’ve done your research.”
“i want to get to know you, and you’re not letting me get to know you,” you push back, reaching out softly to link your fingers. the touch sends sparks through every nerve in your limb.
“i need to stay away from you,” dani groans, but the way her eyes come to fixate on you abandons what her words try to convey. you realize what’s happening– she’s cracking.
“says who?” you ask, reaching down so your fingers playing with the hem of her shirt. your fingertips brush lightly against the dip of her abs and you feel your mind go numb.
“says literally everyone,” she laughs lowly.
“everyone also says you have a mind of your own,” you push back, tilting your head to look at her.
“that i do,” she breathes, and her tongue darts out to wet her lips as her gaze flickers across your features. you feel drunk under the dizziness her gaze alone has.
“so are you going to think for yourself?” you challenge.
“i’m not a decision to take lightly,” she mumbles, bringing her fingers to trace up your arm and across your collarbone. “i think you’ll hate me if you get to know me.”
“i want to make that decision for myself,” you experiment with your fingers running along the elastic of her shorts. your hands are both starting to seek more and more skin along the other’s body.
“they made it crystal clear how off limits you are,” she groans. “you set me up to fail, and i fucking hate losing.”
“i think you should kiss me, like, now,” you breathe anxiously. you feel your pulse in your ears as she watches as she leans closer and closer.
but before she can close the gap between you two, you hear the loud shut of the front door, and the click of your mom’s heels against the floor. dani’s eyes flash to the open door, and she cooly moves away from you to sit easily on your bed, pushing you away ever so gently.
“y/n? d’you get back from your walk yet?”
“hi mom,” you call out. “ran into dad’s captain and she walked me home.”
“hi, mrs. y/ln,” dani grits through her teeth, eyes still locked on you, as your mom comes upstairs and greets you both. you hope the flush of your skin isn’t enough to sell you out.
“daniela, nice to see you again. thanks for keeping an eye on y/n for us.” your mom smiles sincerely, and you figure you’re in the clear. “i didn’t know you and y/n were friends, you’re welcome to come around more often.”
“i think coach y/ln would flip if he saw me here,” dani smiles knowingly, flashing you a quick look. “but i’ll be around.”
dani excuses herself, and your mom starts going on about the lawyers calling and how your case is going to get argued down to something that’ll easily come off your record. it’s a relief, but she’s still clearly irritated with the whole situation, and you ask to go to bed early to end the conversation there.
you look down at your phone as you make it back into your bed. dani has finally followed you back, and you see a private story posted.
a picture of the top of her head, simply captioned “tryna get up to something.”
you feel a pit in the bottom of your stomach and decide to just go to sleep. at the very least, you know you didn’t make it up.
-
“coach, can y/n come out with a few of us tonight?” lara asks at the next practice. you look up at her in surprise. they had just gotten back from an away game and lara had mentioned something about a greek life party she was eager to hit up. you knew there was no chance, but lara gave you a confident shake of her head and insisted she’d figure something out to get you there. you didn’t think this meant being so confident as to ask your dad directly.
“something small?” he raises an eyebrow at her.
“i’ll share my location if it makes you feel better,” she smiles.
“i trust you. stay with lara,” he waves you off, and you stare at the red-haired girl in disbelief. you won’t test your luck. she gives you a time to be ready to get picked up, and you thank god that your dad has favorites.
your history with college parties has been iffy at best. your cheer coach was notoriously strict. you’re jealous that the hockey girls have a different standard, but you try to push that thought away and focus on the positive: at least now, you can party without fear of punishment.
there’s another thought you want to push away: the thought of daniela in your room. lara, megan, and their respective partners are all in the car when they stop by to pick you up, but dani is nowhere to be seen. you make up your mind that tonight, you’re going to get over this stupid fucking crush, and you’re going to do so at all costs.
you’re only a few minutes in to the less-than-tiny house party and lara has already disappeared somewhere to go be alone with her girlfriend. megan is outside in the backyard laughing insanely loudly on the swingset with her own girlfriend. you start to regret not inviting chaewon or someone else outside of the hockey team, leaving you there alone on your own.
but then blue haired yunjin is popping up in your peripheral, offering you a shot, and you take it, deciding you have nothing to lose.
“no girlfriend tonight?” you ask.
“chae’s studying for her comps,” she wrinkles her nose. “i’d give anything to be making out with her right now.”
you laugh. “i’ll kiss a few strangers in honor of chae.”
“she’d hate that,” yunjin cackles, before serving you another drink. “but i love your intentions, so let’s pick your victim.”
“no, i get too picky,” you shake your head. “give me a criteria and that’ll be my victim.
“oh fuck yeah,” yunjin laughs, and you love how down she is. “hmm. next person to offer you a drink?
“you better put that fucking bottle down then or your girlfriend will kill you.”
yunjin shrieks with laughter and sprints off to leave the bottle back at the bar. she finds you once more and you two dive into the mosh pit of bodies all dancing together. she dances stupidly alongside you, and for a split second, you’re grateful that despite all you’ve been through this year, you can still find decent people you enjoy being around.
a pair of hands snake around your waist, and you see a bottle of tequila get presented to you from behind you. you feel the sweat and the faint musk of a familiar clean cologne from the stranger behind you. you nod at the bottle, looking up at yunjin as you realize your victim has been selected.
but yunjin simply stares back at you with wide eyes, shaking her head as if to warn you, before you turn and realize just what has her in such a panic.
or rather, who.
the stranger grabs your waist and pulls you closer, and you turn to come face to face with that mess of blonde curls. dani’s skin is flushed from what you assume is both adrenaline and drinks in her system. the two of you lock eyes and you feel the room slow down.
“hi,” you greet, wrapping your arms around her neck.
“hi,” she breathes back. those damn eyes scan over you, searching for something.
“we should find somewhere quiet,” you tell her simply. she eyes you, something dangerous in that dark gaze, but within moments she’s leading you upstairs, grasp tight around your wrist. you can see the shimmer of someone else’s lip gloss smeared on her mouth already, and part of it infuriates you.
but you’re finally alone, the back of your legs hitting the bed and leading you to sit down. she’s quickly invading your space, stepping in and planting an arm on either side of you to lock you in beneath her.
“i don’t make good decisions,” she warns you, and you let your hands untuck the front of the jersey she’s wearing, exploring the skin of her torso experimentally. she doesn’t stop you, and it makes your whole body tense.
“that’s fine,” you breathe quickly, the proximity dizzying you. “the bad choices are always more fun.”
you see her jaw clench as your fingers trace along her back, your nails pressing into her strong shoulders as an experimental test.
“last warning,” she breathes into your ear, her head falling to press her temple against yours. your heart feels like it’s about to leap out of your chest with how her guard falls.
“you’re finally going to let us be friends?” you grin, watching as she pulls away to go lock the door.
she glares back at you, something dangerous in those eyes, and reaches back to pull her shirt off in one smooth motion before a devilish grin takes to her lips.
“we’re not going to be friends,” she says simply, before leaping forward to finally claim you.
-
“you look like you’re in a good mood,” chaewon chirps as you race into the seat next to her in the early morning literature lecture.
you mention nothing of the fact that you’re on 2 hours of sleep, waking up late, ready to fall asleep at the table.
“did i miss anything?” you huff, trying to get a grip.
“colonization, racial undertones, empiricism, the usual good stuff,” she smiles, before eyeing you in concern. “i’m serious, everything okay?”
it’s one thing to hook up at the party, but when lara called you to let you know it’s time to go, it’s another thing to be pushing daniela off you so she doesn’t make you sound suspicious over the phone.
the ride back was spent in complete silence, lara not at all suspicious as to where you both disappeared for the few hours, but by the time you get back to their place, dani is covering your mouth with her hand to slip you into her room instead of letting you sleep on the couch where lara had initially offered.
you shudder as you fight off the flashbacks and try to focus on the lecture. “i’m totally good.”
“yunjin said she had fun hanging out with you last night,” chaewon goes on, showing you a picture the two of you had taken together that yunjin had sent her. “you guys went to that party together?”
“we ran into each other there,” you smile, loving how yunjin was so immersed in the party and still found a way to include her girlfriend. “we missed you. we both would have killed to have you there with us.”
“next time, maybe i’ll join,” chaewon smiles, and you drop your head into your hand.
class ends, and you’re almost disappointed to not see anything from daniela. no texts checking in on how you got home (an uber to your house before your dad woke up) or dm’s letting you know she’s even alive. you’ve never been clingy before, and you don’t intend to start now, but just being acknowledged would be nice.
your head is pounding as you walk to practice. as soon as you get home, you’re going to sleep as long as physically possible, and try not to think about how incredible daniela’s hands are at–
you push the thought away, but you spot the flash of blonde curls approaching the stadium at the same time. you swear she spots you out of the corner of her eye, but she keeps walking, bag slung over her shoulder.
you’re no stranger to one night stands, but at the very least an acknowledgement would be nice? you have to work together for the rest of the season. the least she can do is not be a giant fucking jerk.
you speed up to catch her and shove into her to get her attention.
“hi, i’m alive or what the fuck ever, if that matters to you,” you push into her shoulder.
“i warned you, and you found me.” she gives you a disinterested glare, and you almost can’t believe this is the same girl you had played such a fun cat and mouse game with. she keeps walking, and you speed up to keep up with her as you guys head to the locker room. “if you’re pissed that i didn’t call you, just call me first.”
“you are really fucking full of yourself,” you spit angrily.
“you can’t say you weren’t warned,” she shrugs, entering the empty locker room to put her bag into a locker. she takes off her jacket and hangs it up, reaching for her helmet out of her bag. “i’m not stupid. i know every single person on this team warned you about me. if you didn’t listen, that’s on you.”
“are you proud of that reputation?” you ask in disbelief.
“i know your type,” she smirks smugly. “you play hard to get and then you’re pissed when you give in ‘cause there’s no more mystery.”
“you don’t know shit about me,” you growl back, and something about having shared so much with her stings. you’re not mad about the hookup, you’re mad about buying all her vulnerable bullshit and thinking she wasn’t going to be every bit as shitty as everyone warned you she’d be.
“i know what you sound like screaming my name and you can’t take that shit back,” she laughs, and you want to absolutely fucking murder her.
“i don’t know why the fuck you’re being such an asshole, but you’re a piece of shit, and i hope you choke on that ice today,” you blurt, storming off towards the player box.
“you good?” yunjin asks, noting your expression as you two cross into each other.
“i’m fine,” you wave her off, and you have to bite back a scream as daniela hops on the ice, laughing her head off with megan and lara as if your interaction had never happened.
you try to hide your disappointment. a crush you had believed in so wholeheartedly, only to see that everyone else was right to warn you.
-
you’re relieved that your dad makes you stay home for the away games, and a break from having to see dani’s stupid face is exactly what you needed. the team leaves that weekend for a game and your mom takes over the hawk-eyed supervision, but it gives you a chance to introduce her to some of your new friends. chaewon comes over to do homework with you and brings along a friend from her english class named sophia, and you find out sophia is friends with megan’s girlfriend.
you desperately need someone to open up to about your entire experience with daniela, but knowing chaewon is less than her biggest fan, and sophia does her best to avoid hockey drama, you realize you’re probably shit out of luck. plus, you were fairly warned by literally everyone, and you still were stupid enough to get yourself involved with her, so really, it’s a fitting punishment that you deal with the consequences.
halfway through the study session, megan (sweet, angelic megan,) reaches out to you that night to ask you to run her stats from the game. the assistant coach took from the game, and you start running the numbers while sophia and chae bicker about where the best study spot on campus is. you feel your heart sink as you realize you’ll have to do this all over again for the rest of the semester: run the numbers from every game and inform the players, and you let out a loud groan.
“i fucking hate hockey,��� you tell them, interrupting their debate.
“oh, do you know how beat up my girlfriend is when she comes home to me?” chaewon shrieks. “she’s like a zombie half the time. i can’t wait for her to be done with this stupid sport.”
“all the players are massive-ego’d idiots,” sophia echoes. “well, maybe not yunjinnie–”
“no, i’m not offended, yunjin can be so loud,” chaewon butts in, wrinkling her nose. “but that megan is really sweet.”
the three of you laugh. the ginger may be single handedly balancing the reputation of the team on her shoulders.
“well, they have an idiot for a leader,” you say, and they both chirp in agreement.
“i just have to hear about them, but you’re up close and personal,” chaewon gapes, shaking her head. “you’re a saint for dealing with all of them.”
you feel your ears get red. your closeness with daniela would probably be categorized as anything but holy, but that’s something you’ll end up taking to the grave, it turns out.
you guys end the night with a quick goofy round of youtube karaoke, sophia and chaewon trying to out-do each other so loudly your mom drops by in concern, and you can’t help but feel a little better at the idea of facing the team tomorrow.
“it’s like what, three more months left in their season, and then you’re free?” sophia reminds you as her and chaewon get into the car. “so easy.”
you’d like to believe her, but unfortunately, daniela wants to make it anything but easy for you.
you go player by player before practice starts, pulling them aside to show them their graphs. lara smiles at her current save rate, megan nods as you show her how fast she’s improving on her shot ratio, kazuha mumbles something to herself about more strength training when you give her the statistics on her pushbacks.
you suck in a deep breath and approach the blonde last, out of all the girls, to try and get it over with the fastest.
“your numbers are dropping.” you tell daniela simply, dropping the clipboard in her lap as she laces up her skates.
she shoots you a glare, biting the tip of her glove to pull it off her hand and flip through your pages, and you have to physically remind yourself to stop thinking about what those teeth felt like on your skin…
“what?” she questions, brows furrowing. you’re almost surprised by how shocked she sounds. clearly, you’re telling her something she isn’t expecting.
“your average. compared to this time last season, you had this many assists under your belt.” you point to the comparison curves on the graphs. “this season, you’re hitting numbers almost a third lower. harder time keeping up?”
“check your math, there’s no way,” she huffs, standing up and tossing the clipboard off her lap. you feel your blood boil at her attitude, but there’s something giving you a power trip about seeing how angry she’s getting.
ugh. you don’t want to admit the high it gives you to get under her skin.
“ouch, that struck a nerve.” you observe, fighting the grin that wants to take over your features. “you’re underperforming, avanzini.”
“i’m competitive,” she says curtly, eyes darkening, and skates off without another look in your direction. you hear her mutter something with a curse word in spanish, and somehow, it feels like a win in your book.
it’s not that you want to give daniela a hard time, especially if you’re going to have to be stuck together for the rest of the season, but by the time practice starts, she’s looking over at you every time she makes another pass or takes another shot. you won’t admit how much you like the attention she’s giving you, even if it’s just to prove that she’s every bit as good as her ego claims, but you hold onto the feeling of irritating her and how satisfied it makes you feel.
lara invites you out to dinner with them again, but dani stays back on the ice after everyone else leaves, and you consider yourself the winner that day.
dani calms down the rest of the week at practice, and is right back to ignoring you as you do your best to ignore her. you know there’s a chance you two can coexist peacefully– your friendship with lara and megan is actually quite enjoyable, even if dani makes a big deal of disappearing every time you come over or join the red-haired girl and her ginger sidekick. you kind of like the ability to not have to worry about daniela being around, but something in your stomach lurches every time you realize you’re still on her close friends story and she’s posting another shirtless photo surrounded by gorgeous random strangers.
you know she’s probably not even thinking about you, but she’s so fucking aggravating, you need to get back at her somehow to regain your sense of control.
so at the next evening practice, you decide to test another theory.
usually it’s just your dad who gives feedback to the girls, but he’s busy chatting with the assistant coaches and the trainee physical therapist, so you decide to put your clipboard down and lean against the half-wall to call out to the girls as they continue through their drills.
“nice shot, kazuha.”
as if they’re surprised to hear your voice, nearly half the team looks up at you, kazuha herself looking confused before breaking into a giant grin.
“oh, ah, thank you, y/n,” she beams, and the pure joy in her face makes you wonder what the fuck your dad puts these poor girls through if the slightest affirmation is enough to excite them this much.
“me next, me next!” lara calls out to you, and the two of you laugh as you wave her off. these poor, compliment-deprived jocks.
“you gotta do something worth cheering on, first,” you yell back to her, and all the girls scramble on the ice to push further. your original plan was to compliment every single player and leave out the captain, but as you look up, dani is glaring daggers at kazuha, who is still smiling from your call out.
maybe this will be a little easier than you thought. if dani is the attention seeking type, what easier way to piss her off than showing her how easily she can be ignored? and if you can find someone specific to make it feel personal, even better.
you try remembering the dynamics you observed among the team. your dad mentioned kazuha and daniela being partners on the ice, you know she’s protective of megan so that probably won’t make a difference, lara is too goofy to take the compliment anyways–
it clicks. you remember the way chaewon doesn’t like daniela. yunjin and dani might have some kind of rivalry between them.
you pray yunjin won’t make things weird. but as if perfectly on cue, yunjin practices a spinning check on daniela and sends the captain flying backwards, slamming into the plexiglass as easily as pushing a child.
“good shit, huh,” you call out loudly as the defender skates off. yunjin’s head snaps up from the ice, and she shoots you a bright grin and a thumbs up. a few of the girls even go so far as to laugh, and you send her a matching thumbs up to emphasize your point.
you look over at the blonde, and you see dani’s jaw twitch. something about yunjin specifically strikes a nerve. bingo.
your dad takes over practice again, and daniela skates like she’s trying to smash through the ice with each stride. she’s ignoring you fully this time, taking all her passes and shots as if she’s trying to break her stick each time she hits the puck, and you’re absolutely relishing in the fact that you got the upper hand. you write down a few notes in your binder and lose yourself in thought, before a whistle from your dad catches your attention.
“huh was wide open, avanzini,” your dad glares.
“i had a clear shot,” dani shrugs. you look over at yunjin, who is shrugging confusedly at lara and rolling her eyes.
“it was your idea to pass back to her,” he reminds her.
“an idea,” dani bites back, before skating off. “not a promise.”
your dad gives some quick recap speech about the upcoming home game, and the girls break. a majority of them head straight to the showers, and you’re there waiting for your dad to finish touching base with the assistant coaches, but you notice a small handful stay on the ice. all the starters, actually. you figure it’s what gets them their starting position– extra effort, extra talent.
kazuha is the first to leave after an extra 15 minutes on the ice. then lara follows, and yunjin. your dad is back out 45 minutes later, hand on your shoulder. you wave him off as he asks about taking you home.
“i’ll get a ride with lara or stay at her place. is that okay?”
“you want to watch these two? i knew there was a hockey girl inside there all along,” he smiles proudly.
“i want to finish my notes,” you tell him, pointing down to your clipboard.
“go home,” the assistant coach tells the girls still on the ice. it’s just dani and megan left taking shots, passing between the two of them, now almost an hour after practice has ended. you have no idea how the two have the energy to make it through practice, much less show up early and stay behind this late, and not be collapsing the next day. finally, an hour after practice, megan leaves to go to her girlfriend’s, and that leaves you alone with daniela.
she glares over at you, cold stare as she heads into the locker room. you follow, like a moth to a flame, not even sure what you’re planning on getting out of this conversation besides hopefully irritating her even further.
“i thought you weren’t a puck hog?” you taunt her, in reference to the reprimand from your dad for dani not passing to yunjin.
she shrugs, avoiding your gaze, as she pulls her helmet off her head and drops her gloves into her bag. “what can i say? i like the eyes on me.”
“hm, i can tell.” you say back.
“did you have fun watching huh today?” she asks, her tone dripping with sarcasm as she peels her jersey off her back. the black compression shirt she wears underneath is clinging to her, drenched in sweat, and it takes everything in you to peel your eyes away.
“yunjin is my friend, and i’m allowed to fucking cheer her on,” you remind her. “i thought you guys were friends?”
“we are friends.” before reminding you, “you and i aren’t.”
“you seem really weirdly jealous of someone you call a friend,”
“i don’t want to talk about yunjin,” she nearly growls, and you can’t wait to keep exploiting this soft spot of hers.
“why not? she’s improving, like a lot, and it didn’t sound like she had a lot to work on–”
in seconds, she’s grabbing you and pressing you against the locker, her hand against the bottom of your jaw.
“y/n,” she seethes, “if you want my attention that bad, you fucking have it.”
“tell me you’ve been thinking about me,” you press, and it feels almost obsessive. her full weight is pressing against you into the lockers and it makes your pulse race att the memory of her touch. “there’s no way you’re that fucking good at pretending.”
“of course i haven’t stopped fucking thinking about you,” she breathes, and it feels like a confession. “i’ve been trying to ignore you but you’re annoying as shit. are you pissed, or do you want me? you’re sending mixed signals.”
“i thought you could think for yourself?” you challenge back.
“i can,” her eyes are trailing off to scan up your body, her grip still firm against your jaw. “if it were up to me, i know exactly what i’d want from you. but coach’s daughter is extremely off-limits, in case you didn’t remember.”
“i know what i’m getting into,” you push back.
“i warned you the first time too,” she reminds you.
“just don’t play games with me,” you growl. “do what you want, and i will too.”
“it sounds like you want me,” she grins, leaning in so that your foreheads are almost touching.
“you think everyone wants you,” you roll your eyes, but your hands are already pulling at her waistband to pull her close. something about the fresh layer of sweat slicking her baby hairs to her neck and forehead is infuriatingly attractive to you.
“that’s ‘cause they do,” she hums back easily.
“you look at every reflective surface you walk past.” you shake your head. “you’re obsessed with yourself.”
“you’ve seen what i can do, i think you get it.” she leans down, experimentally letting her lips brush against your neck. “i’m pretty easy to be obsessed with.”
you don’t want to give her the satisfaction of a single word more, but the proximity between you two and the craving inside your bones takes over. she’s sweeping you up in one easy motion, your lips colliding with bruising force, and you lose sight of whatever it was you two were fighting about. when dani’s hands take over, everything you hated her for disappears from your mind, and all you focus on is losing your fingers in those curls as she pulls you into the showers with her.
-
you told yourself you wouldn’t get involved with anything dangerous at this new university– no bad influences, no friends that did illegal things, no risky behavior that can make things worse for you when you’re trying to start over. but when you made this list, you never considered that you’d get addicted to hooking up with the very hot, very irritating, very bad-for-you hockey team captain that already makes your dad’s life a living hell.
and it’s confusing, to say the least. she ignores and avoids you through the day, and then stays fixated watching you throughout an entire practice. she can go hours without texting you back but as soon as you post that you’re out with yunjin and chaewon, she’s climbing up the stupid tree in your yard to tap on your window and sneak in as if she hadn’t been radio silent the whole day.
you know it’s just a hookup, and nothing more, but something about how she overdoes it with ignoring you makes it even weirder when you two are rushing to see each other, desperately making up for the time spent apart. you won’t complain: between school, practice, friends, and now daniela keeping you busy, you don’t even have a chance to think about getting into anything else.
“i know what you’re doing,” she warns you one night after sneaking into your room again. she pushes you off her lap when you’ve spent a little too much time with your lips on one spot on her neck.
“feeling possessive,” you hum, running your fingers through her curls, admiring your work against her soft skin.
“you’re fucking crazy,” dani groans, but you catch the way she grins looking at herself in her phone. “it’s getting late, i should go.”
some would even call it romantic the way she steals lara’s car to come park it up the street and sneak into your room on the nights you can’t spend with her at her place. you guys are quiet enough to make sure nobody else hears, and you’ll admit that the sneaking around part makes things so, so much more fun.
“just leave before my dad wakes up,” you tell her, pulling her down by the neck to plant another kiss against her jaw.
“i’m only gonna spend the night in your room once you specifically ask me to,” she pushes you away and smirks at you playfully. “i’ll be around if you need me.”
“whatever.” you roll your eyes and turn to pull up your phone. “not gonna beg.”
“someone else will,” she says back, but not before jumping on the bed to plant a forceful, dizzying kiss on your lips. “bye, y/n.”
you want to rip your hair out, but it doesn’t make your heart thud any less watching her climb down and out of your bedroom window. you roll your eyes as she stops, looks up at you, and does another one of her stupid backflips right on your front lawn before disappearing into the night.
dani shows up to practice the next day wearing every single hickey you gave her on full display. she didn’t even try to cover them up. you guys lock eyes briefly and you can’t tell if she’s playing a mind game with you, or is just trying to play with fire and test your limits. you won’t give her the satisfaction though– part of you likes knowing the secret stays between you two.
“ah, heartbreaker dani strikes again. another sorority girl?” kazuha arches a brow, shoving playfully into daniela’s shoulder. lara shakes her head laughing and follows onto the ice.
nevermind. you feel your blood boil. maybe next time you should leave your initials.
your dad makes dani get off the ice and go put on a neck guard to stop distracting everyone. dani rolls her eyes but does so begrudgingly. your eyes meet as she hops off the ice and towards her bag.
“are they really a distraction?” she asks you casually.
“extremely.” you say, trying to match her non-chalance. “tell your girl toy to stop trying so hard next time.”
“she’s got a mind of her own,” she shakes her head, eyes lighting up with something unholy. “but i’ll do my best.”
-
the weeks pass and you guys don’t discuss the nature of your arrangement, but you both know it’s critical to keep it under wraps. your dad is thrilled that you’re spending so much time at lara’s, and lara and megan are too busy with their own things to notice dani either disappearing all night or letting you in.
your phone buzzes in the middle of homework and you spot the number, saved simply as “captain.”
come over
say please
i don’t beg but i’ll make sure you do so, again, come over
you roll your eyes at how easily you’re convinced.
“taking the car and going to lara’s,” you call out to your house, and your dad calls back in approval from the other room.
your stomach hasn’t quite stopped flipping when you pull into the trio’s driveway. daniela is already in the doorway, looking stupidly attractive in her oversized hoodie and baggy shorts, and you two nearly don’t make it to her room before she already has her hands on you, pulling you in.
you two fall back onto the bed and you’re straddling her much too quickly to call it casual. she pulls at your top and you try to regain some of your dignity by poking fun at her.
“wasn’t i just here this morning? so eager to have me back so soon,” you tease.
“you can stop showing up whenever, you know,” she bites back, putting her hands over yours to guide them to her hoodie. you take the hint and pull her hoodie off over her head, biting your lip in eager anticipation.
“you’d miss me too much,” you clip back easily. she smirks and reaches up from beneath you to capture your lips with hers, her fingers hooking into your waistband to start sliding your pants down your thighs. you know the motions by now and start to lean up to let her get them off from your ankles.
that is, until you hear the door swing open.
“have you seen my bite guard? i left it in the–” megan starts, but immediately pivots into a half- scream, hands flying up to cover her eyes. “oh, bro, jesus christ–”
oh fuck.
you and dani move equally fast to push off each other. you truly had convinced yourself that you two had mastered the whole sneaking around thing, so you’re not exactly prepared for whatever may come next. the dread sets in immediately. you can trust daniela, and you can trust yourself, but the last thing you need is someone else involved.
“you can’t tell my dad,” you blurt out immediately.
“oh my fucking god, not coach,” megan panics. “he’s going to kill me if he finds out.”
“why would he kill you?” dani squints at the younger girl.
“bro, i’m letting this happen.” megan brings an open palm to her forehead, beginning to pace around daniela’s room. “i’m complexit, or whatever.”
“complicit,” dani corrects quickly
megan ignores the correction and keeps rambling. “no, this is so bad. i’m basically putting the strap in your hand.”
“okay, meg, please, too far,” you groan, and daniela lets out a loud hollering laugh.
“i’m going to die and i literally just barely beat the virgin allegations,” she gasps.
you shake your head and give a look to daniela. is she always this neurotic?
“meg, please, go like, take some deep breaths over there. we’ll stop if it’s freaking you out that bad,” daniela tries to soothe her, pointing out the door.
“how long?” the ginger asks.
“oh my god bro, we’ve only fucked like, the past month.”
megan’s dark puppy eyes go wide, honing in on you. “a month is more than zero. i was hoping you would say zero.”
“are you asking for an apology?” you try to ask, desperate to make sense of why exactly she’s panicking.
daniela groans and finally gets out of the bed, tossing a hoodie over herself and handing you your pants back. she grabs megan by the back of her neck and waves over to you. “we’re gonna go.”
“where?” you question. it’s nearly 10pm and the tail end of a freezing october.
“where else? the lake, duh. she needs to hit the ice to calm down. we’ll be back.” she groans and grabs a few sticks tucked away in the corner of her room, before she drags the ginger out the door and shuts it behind them.
you let your head fall backwards onto dani’s pillow and stare at the ceiling, the dread sinking in.
-
you’re not quite sure when you dozed off, but you’re woken up to the sound of the door creaking back open. the familiar curls enter the room and dani comes to kneel in front of the bed, eye to eye with you. the gesture is sweet, almost tender, as if she’s trying to be close without waking you.
“i didn’t think you’d still be here.” she tells you quietly, before gently poking at your cheek. “awake?”
“i told my dad i was sleeping over at lara’s and he has my location. i can’t just leave my phone here,” you groan groggily at her. “meg okay?”
“she’ll be fine. she won’t say anything. believe it or not, we can keep secrets surprisingly well. ask lara what we pulled for her girlfriend last year.” she sits on the edge of the bed. “you stayed?”
“does me being here ruin your plans somehow?” you ask, confused about what she expected.
“i mean, no, i’m going to a party anyways.” she shrugs, her demeanor hardening. “might bring someone back. if you don’t want the couch, then you might want to room with lar.”
“you’re a fucking joke,” you blurt at her, sitting up to meet her eye-level. “always so irritating.”
“what happened to feeling possessive?” she arches a brow playfully.
“no, shut up dani. tell me something– why were you so much nicer to me before we started hooking up?” you question, narrowing your eyes at her. “you weren’t this big of a dick until the first time. i didn’t even think you were capable of being this big of a piece of shit.”
“i didn’t know you noticed how i treated you before,” she says simply, crossing her arms over her chest and giving you a curious look. “you cared about that?”
you take a second before ripping her a new one and read into her implication. it really does make sense in her head that if you only wanted her for sex, there was no need to keep up the dynamic from before.
is this the root of all this confusion? is daniela just playing a role she thinks you assigned to her?
“tell me something about you,” you blurt out.
she un-crosses her arms and arches a brow in confusion. “like?”
“anything. what’s your favorite color?”
“blue.” she pauses for a second. “yours?”
“blue,” you repeat, and she smiles at the coincidence.
“do you miss cheer?” she asks quickly, as if to not let the silence take over.
“you remember that i did that?”
“yeah,” she says simply, before fishing in the pocket of her hoodie for a protein bar she had clearly just been eating. “do you want a bite? did you eat while i was gone?”
you feel rattled by her sudden change in demeanor. where did the fuckboy from 5 minutes ago disappear to?
“where is all this coming from?” you ask.
“if you wanted to be friends, you just had to say so.” she seems so casual about it, the flip, but you won’t question it further. this feels like the dani you met in the car, that first time alone. the sincere, unabashed one you got so inexplicably hooked on, and you want to make the most of it while she’s still showing you that girl still exists.
you take the protein bar as a peace offering and take a bite. “i do miss cheer, if that matters to you.”
“try out for our team,” she says quickly, like the solution is obvious.
“it’s not that easy. it’d be like you trying to play for a new team right now in the middle of your season.”
“so then cheer just for me,” she grins.
“i’d rather die than be an ice girl.” you roll your eyes. “i can’t even skate.”
“seriously? with your dad?”
you pinch the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes. “dani, please don’t talk about my dad while i’m debating getting naked for you again.”
“yeah?” the way she grins at your confession makes your heart thud.
“but you said you had a party to get to, so…” you trail off, eyeing her.
you almost let out a scream as daniela leaps and tackles you back into a laying position, biting playfully at your jaw.
“you’re going to get me in so much trouble,” she sighs, pressing feverish kisses against your neck.
“good thing he won’t find out.” you lift her chin to face you and press a finger to her lips, admiring her pretty, pretty face. “don’t tell me you’ve never kept something a secret before?”
“i’m gonna have to,” she breathes, her arms snaking under your back, “‘cause i’m having a hard time keeping my hands to myself.”
“do something about it,” you grin, and dani doesn’t make you wait.
-
there’s no point in lying to yourself. you can fool the world, maybe, between the stolen glances and rushed kisses in the empty locker room or in the secrecy of your bedroom, but you can feel the way dani’s eyes never quite leave your head. you find yourself thinking about her at every turn, remembering new things as she keeps opening up to you about her past, her hopes for the future, her experiences as captain. you want to think that of course, if she’s the best hook up you’ve ever had, it’d be obvious why she’s on your mind, but you know it’d be a lie to pretend your feelings weren’t getting involved, despite your better judgement.
each time you watch her wink at you from the ice, or order your coffee perfectly as if she’s memorized it, or see her leave a stupid cute note on your clipboard, you can’t help but wonder if she’s this damn charming with all her other hookups too.
you try not to overthink it and instead focus on the newfound freedoms your dad is slowly loosening up to allow you, with each passing week that you stay out of trouble (at least, trouble that he’s aware of.)
can i go to a party if i stay w lara and megan the entire time?
You’ve got some nerve asking If I call you need to pick up at any point
i’ll leave with her and text you each step of the way
you text to the group chat that you’re good to go and they all send a variety of cheering gifs or stupid memes about how fucked up they’re going to get you.
(at least, all of them except for dani, who never acknowledges your texts in the group chat.)
you appreciate that they’ve finally stopped treating you just as coach’s daughter, finally brave enough to stop babying you. you’re especially grateful when you get to the party and yunjin is feeding you shots much to chaewon’s disapproval, the defenseman screaming laughing as lara and kazuha try to race to take down their drinks before megan even manages to take a single, nervous sip from her cup. you’re grateful to have made so many stupid fun friends who are so so nice to you, but you can’t help but feel like the shenanigans would feel complete with the presence of one particular frat-boy-like captain who thrives in these environments.
you try to not be obvious about looking around to seek her out, but you can feel the eyes on you from the other side of the room. like two magnets finding the opposite ends of each other, always pulling to touch.
unfortunately, when you do spot her, looking painfully attractive in an oversized university polo and a backwards hat, she’s standing way too close to a random girl for your liking. you guys had never discussed the parameters of what was and wasn’t allowed, and a part of you had always known she wasn’t likely the type you could lock down if you were just friends with benefits.
fine. you don’t owe her anything. you turn back around and reach for chaewon’s hand, inviting your friend to dance with you as lara’s girlfriend hands you another drink. you’re over trying to push dani. if she wants anything from you. she knows exactly where to find you.
you’re almost able to push her out of your head until chaewon trades to be dance partners with kazuha, landing you with yunjin holding you by the waist. you think nothing of it– her super secure girlfriend is literally two feet away from you, doing the same with kazuha, and yunjin has always been nothing but platonic with you, doting on how much she loves chaewon.
“i’m sure these moves have your girl so, so happy,” you laugh, motioning to how she can manage to both lead you so smoothly and also trip up over her own feet at the same time.
yunjin grins back at you in response. “i always step on her feet, and she’ll still kiss me. i think she pretends it doesn’t even happen.”
“now that’s true love,” you coo, motioning over to the bobbed girl in question, who blows you both a kiss as kazuha dips her over and over.
“i like to think she’s into me,” yunjin smiles.
“y/n isn’t drunk enough to be able to keep up with your whack ass moves, huh.”
the hair on the back of your neck tingles. you’ve gotten too good at picking up daniela’s husky voice absolutely anywhere.
“funny. if anyone knows about getting shit-face wasted, it’s you, cap.” yunjin raises her cup to the blonde, words teetering dangerously on the edge of disdain. she motions to you and shoos you two off irritatedly. “take it away.”
before you can protest, dani is pulling you into the hallway, secluded from the bustle of the party centered in the living room.
her hands are all over you, her teeth in your neck painfully fast with no warning, as if to assert herself. you shove her away.
“what the fuck, dani?” you hiss, wincing at the sting of your skin.
“missed you,” she says simply, pressing you back up against the wall, and you’re in shock about hearing her blatant confession. you think back and realize it might be the first time she’s ever admitted something like that.
“you’re sending me mixed signals,” you call her out, putting a hand on her chest to keep some space between you two. “you don’t want me to get mad at you but you go crazy when you see me complimenting someone else.”
“fine then,” she growls, though you knew she’d avoid taking accountability for the whiplash she’s putting you through. “so should we just fucking quit while we’re ahead?”
you see the way her eyes change, something pressing beneath that calloused exterior, you know dani, deep down, and you know what it means when she acts out. so you decide to take a chance.
“i want to know more about you,” you breathe gently, looking around quickly to make sure there’s no prying eyes, before cupping a hand to her cheek. “and i want to keep seeing you. please stop trying to fuck with my head.”
her eyes soften, and your heart melts. your bet pays off– her guard is dropping.
“you won’t like what you find,” she warns, and the way her voice hardens makes you wonder what she’s possibly been through to think so low of herself.
“let me decide that on my own,” you tell her, tilting your head. “why do you keep pushing me away?”
“i thought i was fine with it, but i kept thinking about it. and i don’t want to hook up with someone who’s just using me to get back at someone else.”
“me liking you had nothing to do with my dad. it’d be easier to like you if my dad wasn’t terrified of you,” you shake your head, realizing how fucked up the reality of the situation is.
you don’t realize what’s slipped out of your mouth until daniela’s eyes are lighting up, even in the dim lighting. her voice is so, so eager, you want to risk it all and kiss her right there and then.
“y/n, you like me?” she questions.
“duh,” you wrinkle your nose, embarrassed but unable to find a way to take it back. “are you blind? is it seriously news to you?”
“i thought yunjin was fucking with me.”
“god, yunjin could see it,” you want to shrivel up and die– you had never mentioned dani to her, but yunjin is dating chaewon, the super genius, and is clearly no idiot herself. “but why would she lie to you?”
dani bites back a guilty smile. “i’ve been kind of shitty to her before.”
you remember the first time watching their rivalry at practice, the smoothness with which they play but the very obvious tension off the ice. you even remember how dani didn’t bother you until it was yunjin who started dancing with you.
“why are you so fucking weird about yunjin?”
you expect an excuse, but dani simply grits her teeth and lets out a breath. “yunjin is like, what i could be if i wasn’t so fucked up. she’s confident and stupid but people really like her.”
“people really like you,” you press back.
“people put up with me,” she corrects, smiling painfully. “you and i both know i’m bad news.”
“that’s not true.”
“you know it is,” she insists “coach only tolerates me because i’m lara’s best friend, and because i got captain.”
“you’re a star player, that’s why you’re captain.”
“megan is a star player,” she corrects you again. this is new territory for you– daniela’s always been so infuriatingly cocky, you almost don’t know what to make about the overload of sincerity she’s sharing with you. you regret every time you’ve talked shit about her ego, realizing it was probably the only thing protecting her from this terrible notion she has of herself.
“you almost won player of the year last season,” you remind her, the party now lost behind you both. “that’s nothing small.”
“your dad got so mad when i got nominated that year and not lara,” she laughs, but you can hear something painful in her voice. the pain of being constantly compared.
“you earned it for a reason,” you answer quickly, and you see something click in her.
“you’re the only person who’s never sized me up to lara,” she tells you. “or yunjin.”
“no comparison,” you answer quickly. “you’re so one-of-a-kind, dani. it’s mesmerizing.”
“i love lara, but even she puts me in this box, like i can’t be trusted. i know she means well but it’s hard sometimes. she’s so perfect, yunjin’s so likeable, and i’m too much,” dani breathes.
“you’re not too much,” you disagree. “you’re so human. you’re like the most authentic person i know.”
“i feel like my feelings are too big for my body sometimes,” she admits, and you can’t believe she’s sharing all this at a frat party at like 1 in the morning. “like they control me instead of the other way around.”
“that makes you so special. you’re not hiding away like everyone else. you’re not scared to treat people like human beings.”
“nobody cares about that,” she snorts.
“i care about that. my dad always treats me like i’m some breakable doll.” nobody has ever made you feel safe or seen enough to confess the frustrations of being the youngest in your family comes with. “my brothers were always the ones allowed to get away with everything but i had to be under his thumb.”
“i wish we would have met any other way,” she says simply, and you feel the weight of her words resonating from inside of you. she leans in before adding a quiet whisper, “y/n, you like me?”
“i should have never said something,” you roll your eyes, but she reaches for your hand.
“you guys okay?”
your eyes both snap up at the voice. you breathe out a sigh of relief as you realize it’s those big brown puppy eyes looking back at you.
megan.
“i was going to steal lara’s keys so we could go–”
“kiss, a lot,” her girlfriend chimes in, cheeks flushed from clearly one too many drinks.
“no, she’s too tipsy for that, ignore her.” megan wrinkles her nose, holding the girl tightly by the waist to help hold her up. “i was going to let her sleep it off in the car but i’ll just get us an uber to take her home. take the keys, and go talk. that way, nobody interrupts.”
“i’m gonna teach her how to rock your shit once you’re all sobered up,” dani promises, pointing a finger at the both of them.
“dani, i am so serious, please shut the fuck up,” megan begs, and you can see her ears flushing red from beneath her beanie.
her girlfriend grins mischievously. “nooo, you should hear what she can do when–”
megan interrupts by simply turning them around and walking away with the girl in tow, throwing the keys at your feet as her eyes go wide. you hear her tone soften as she walks off in search of somewhere to let her clearly drunk girlfriend sober up. “okay, baby, not now, but especially not ever with dani…”
-
you’re a little nervous that you’re being driven home without lara present, but you figure being home is better than staying out in your dad’s book. dani admits she hadn’t actually been drinking that night, which is a surprise to you, but you’re absolutely counting it as a win that she confessed all these thoughts sober.
you don’t remember who reaches out first, but her hand is holding yours as she drives down the familiar streets to your house, and you feel like you can picture it forever.
“how did you get captain after lara turned it down?” you ask, after she had opened up about so many other issues in her life, answering each of your questions more honestly than the last.
“it was our old coach, she was training your dad before she transitioned to a new team.” you remember this. your dad had been assistant coach for years, and when the old head coach announced her retirement, your mom threw the biggest celebration to cheer him on for his promotion. “coach misty looked me in the eyes and told me that even if the athletics department wanted lara, i was always her first pick.”
“really?”
“she said i needed the responsibility so i wouldn’t do more stupid things.”
“that worked out,” you deadpan.
“i was worse, when i first joined the program. i’d skip practice, i had a shit attitude, i’d show up to games hungover. i threw up once offsides because i had been partying the night before too hard. at least now i stop before i get sick.”
“really?” you can’t imagine it. as destructive as dani is off the ice, her commitment to her sport is sacred. sure dani can be a goof during practice, but never during the drills themselves, or the games. you’d never once seen her show up with less than 110% when it comes down to it, laser-focused on whatever she’s doing.
“she saw the worst in me, and still believed i could be good,” dani shrugs. “good enough to announce me captain. i cleaned up my act a little once that happened. wanted to make her proud.”
“someone believed in you, once upon a time.” you tell her softly. “maybe you should remember that when you feel reckless.”
“fine.” she lets out a sigh and taps the steering wheel as if she’s thinking. you’re about to make a dumb comment about how good she looks in that hat, but she catches you off guard with her next statement:
“i think we should stop hooking up with other people.”
“what?” you question, as if you heard her wrong.
“just make it easy.” she shrugs again, avoiding your gaze. “plus finals are coming up, we’ll be able to stay focused and blow off steam with less time in between.”
you’re too caught off guard to give a straight answer. instead, you want answers to your pressing questions. “when we first met, why did you get weird when i told you everyone was warning me about you?”
she hums for a moment, her thumb running across your knuckles. “i let myself start to like you, then i remembered who i am and what i do.”
“you’re not a bad person, dani,” you shake your head.
“you can’t even claim me,” she pushes back, pulling up in front of your house.
“you’re not exactly showing me off either,” you point out.
“your dad would kill me,” she laughs, pointing to your house with all the lights off, “and i have one more year before i go pro.”
“fine.” you turn in the seat to face her, bringing your interlaced hands up to examine her knuckles. “we keep it secret for one more year, and once we graduate, if we’re still together, we say something.”
“so, we’re not gonna sneak around forever?” she asks, eyes lighting up.
“i’m private, but i want to make it very clear that i’m not ashamed of you.”
“you’ll hate me in a year,” she pushes you teasingly.
“i hated you for a little bit, but you grew on me.” you reach over to plant a soft kiss on her lips, feeling much too bold considering your dad is asleep just inside the house. “maybe you’ll hate me in a year.”
“guess you’ll just have to stick around a year and find out,” daniela smirks, before reaching across your seat to let you out of the car door once more.
you make it upstairs to your room, and she sends you a screenshot of her lockscreen.
look at what time i made it home.
the time is irrelevant. all you see is that her background has been changed to a team photo, where you and her are sharing a glance. your heart thuds as you hunt down the same photo and change yours too.
“this fucking stupid ass crush,” you mumble to yourself, before letting yourself fall asleep. you don’t have to have a name for it. whatever it is with dani, at least as of tonight, is perfect.
-
there’s two semifinal home games left until the championships, and you’ve never felt more anxious to be through a game in your life. between finals coming up, your dad extra on edge, and now trying to make time to see dani outside of just when the sun is gone, you feel like something is dangerously close to bursting, and yet you’re not sure which part of your life is bound to burst first.
the semi-final game, however, gives a hint that hockey is probably going to be a huge stressor for the next two weeks.
the game is absolute insanity. the girls are playing like maniacs, both intense and borderline sloppy as they barely manage to keep a lead up above the attacking team. your dad is beyond himself, screaming so hard he ends up snapping a clipboard over his knee out of frustration when the team lands another foul and gets away with it.
dani, however, is not one to let things slide, and makes sure the team knows she won’t tolerate a dirty play against megan under any circumstance.
daniela takes the other team’s center down, gripping her by the back of her jersey, and slams her into the ice. she drops on top of her, swinging two fast blows in succession against her helmet before the ref can swing over. yunjin jumps in quickly, dogpiling onto the other girl as her teammates come to her rescue. kazuha, freakishly strong, reaches down to yank a girl off dani’s back.
the referee finally makes his way over and calls a 2 minute penalty for daniela. it’s the first time you’ve ever seen her in the box. she storms over and slams the half-door shut, watching anxiously as her team tries to play without her for the next 120 seconds.
“never seen you fight before,” you tell her through the glass, trying to distract her as her eyes stay laser focused on the ice.
“this team fractured my eye socket last year.” she tells you back sharply, and she seems genuinely pissed. “and now trying a high-stick on meg? they had it coming.”
they barely scrape by with the win, and you have to sit through your dad’s lecture about how playing sloppy is almost worse than losing.
you, the golden trio, and their girlfriends are all leaving the stadium towards the parking lot, ready to go to their place and go straight to sleep after such a heavy game. but there’s an unfamiliar voice calling out from the dimly lit lot.
“you had to try and play dirty to win?” the girls call out, and you recognize them as some of the players from the other team. you look around and realize it’s just the few of you in the parking lot, last to leave. you get a sinking feeling in your stomach.
dani, fearless as always, is the first to step in front of your team and snap back against the attempts at intimidating her team.
“i was gonna apologize for beating your ass bare in front of thousands of people, but it sounds like you deserved it,” she bites back.
“you call a dirty dogpile beating my ass?” the girl scoffs. “try again alone and you won’t come out as easily.”
“not worth it,” lara rolls her eyes, unlocking the car door to load her stuff into.
“easy to say when you can only win on home turf,” the girl responds.
“home court advantage? are you serious? look at our fucking record. you talk a lot of shit for a team that just got their asses whipped,” dani bites back, chest puffing as lara reaches out to hold her back. you feel frozen at the exchange.
megan is stepping backwards with nervous eyes, tutor girl pulling her by the wrist to try and distract her.
“oh come on, come step up like a fucking grown up.” the other team’s player points at the ginger in question and how tutor girl is trying to redirect her. “or does your little loser girl do all the hard shit for you?”
you see something twitch in megan’s jaw, her eyes blowing dark.
holy shit.
within seconds, megan is launching forwards, both hands pressing into the other girl’s shoulders and sending her slamming into the ground with one harsh push. she stands over her as you all bolt to grab her.
“next one ends as you with no teeth,” megan says, voice cold and even. you have never once heard megan talk like that, much less think she was capable of it.
ugh. to be her girlfriend, having someone claim you that hard.
“she gets it, baby,” tutor girl pulls her back.
you can tell this was the catalyst to something terrible.
“you wanna start something then not finish it?” the other girl snaps angrily, lifting herself up off the ground with the help of the two other girls.
“your girlfriend says that’s a pattern of your’s,” dani snips.
oh, this idiot and her big mouth.
“try it again, blondie,” she challenges, gesturing for her to approach.
“walk away, daniela,” lara pushes her, but dani’s too fucking stubborn to back down.
in seconds, dani’s shoving into the other girl, despite the height difference, pressing her face into the other girls’ fearlessly. you’re in awe of how she seems completely unphased.
“they might not fight, but i do,” she bites, “and i’m not known to fucking lose.”
the other girl shoves back and before you know it, they’re at blows, even scarier now without all the padding from the game. you’re seconds from running in to try and pull them off of each other when you see a flash of another girl coming up behind her. you realize her intentions look less than a friendly way to blow off steam.
megan’s scream is the loudest. “dani!”
the girl lifts her foot to land a kick straight into the side of dani’s knee, and you see the sickening bend of a joint that shouldn’t go in that direction.
daniela screams and drops to the ground face-first, and the other team’s girls freeze as they realize what just happened of their teammate taking it too far. they sprint in the opposite direction, disappearing into the night, and you feel your heart start to race as dani stays on the ground. you’re waiting for her to make some stupid joke, to pop up and do a backflip or something, but once you see her swollen cheek and bloodied lip dripping with silent tears as she grips her knee, you realize something is horribly wrong.
“dani?” you whisper.
“i think we need a doctor,” lara utters, starting the car.
“dani, can you get up?” megan asks worriedly, and daniela keeps ignoring everyone to clutch her leg.
“this is not good,” you whimper, feeling your body go numb.
you immediately direct megan to help dani to her feet, and lara is racing to pull her car around. megan and her girlfriend help dani limp into the car, and the blonde is ignoring all of you with wide eyes.
“i think she’s in shock,” lara says worriedly, and you bring a hand to dani’s face. the gash above her eye from where she hit the ground is bleeding profusely, and she looks pale.
“hey, you’re okay,” you reassure her, trying to bring her back to earth.
“y/n, i felt two pops. both my ligaments.” she says it solemnly, eyes still wide, as if she’s processing it over and over. “that’s my knee. that’s my career.”
“you also hit your head which i’m sure didn’t help,” you push back, knowing dani always manages to get out of things with the craziest of luck. you press a kiss to her knuckles, forgetting the world around you. “you’ll be okay.”
“that’s it for me,” she says quickly, before her face pales again and her head slumps forward, the shock clearly wearing off.
the ER nurse takes one look at daniela, bloodied, bruised, and her limp body only held up by megan’s sheer strength at this point, and hurriedly gets her in a wheelchair and out of the lobby.
your group waits anxiously in the lobby, intentionally leaving out mentioning this your dad yet. you can already hear what he’s going to say to her, and you figure the last thing she needs is to hear his lecture right about now. hours pass by, megan and her girlfriend curled up in one chair, lara falling asleep on your shoulder, as you fidget with your phone waiting to hear literally anything back.
they allow one person back to go see her, and lara wakes up and volunteers immediately. part of you wishes you could go back with them, but you figure if only megan knows, you shouldn’t be spilling to just anyone especially when dani can’t stand up for herself.
lara comes back a few minutes later, shaking her head. the disappointment is written clearly on her features.
you realize now, why it had to be dani as captain. yes, lara is lovely and easy to like and responsible, but as soon as the pressure hits, you can read the distress all over her features. she’s shutting down, clearly bearing bad news.
dani would be frustrated, maybe, but her energy would stay up and she’d find some way to make even the biggest problems seem like no sweat. that’s what coach misty had seen in dani, all that time ago, to appoint her captain. an undying tenacity and a willpower of steel– the kind that inspires people.
“the forehead needed three stitches, which they did.” she lets out a sigh. “um, but they’re putting her in for a cat scan right now to see what’s going on with the knee and how bad it is.”
“they’re going to go straight into surgery to see what they can repair in her knee. the acl and the mcl both ripped from the impact. they said we should look into pressing charges.”
your heart drops.
“the good news is my girlfriend has seen plenty of acl rips that can heal fast enough to finish a season. we might not have her for championships but she’ll be with us next year.”
you look over at megan, who is teary eyed at the thought of all of this. “can we see her?”
lara nods. “she has a room, they’ll let us know when we can go in.”
lara decides to be the responsible one and steps outside to call her girlfriend first, and then face your dad. once a nurse comes down to say she’s accepting visitors (albeit, sleepily due to the pain meds,) megan is leaving you guys in the dust to race upstairs towards the room.
dani’s peaceful snores from her bed bring you some source of comfort. megan curls up in the chair next to the bed and pulls out her phone, mumbling something about calling out from class the next day.
lara’s girlfriend arrives and the other girlfriends wait outside the door, peeking in through the crack in case dani stirs.
“poor lar is still on the phone with coach y/ln. you can imagine how it’s going,” she wrinkles her nose. tutor girl grimaces.
“hate to be her right about now.”
“check it out. your puppy dog doesn’t want to leave her side,” you laugh.
“you haven’t either,” tutor girl points out playfully.
“someone sane has gotta keep an eye on our captain,” you shrug.
“dani is like a big sister to her,” tutor girl says worriedly, watching from the window as megan lays her head on dani’s bed. “she loves her.”
lara’s girlfriend turns to you, and with zero judgement in her voice, asks simply: “what’s she to you?”
“loaded question,” is all you say, and they both laugh in response.
megan bursts out the door with an eager smile. “she’s awake!”
you let the other girls go in first and say their pieces. at this point, it’s nearly 2am after all the waiting, and the adrenaline doesn’t balance out how tired they all must be from the game and being up this late. you let them trickle out of the room as they finish up, last out being megan, before you nod to her and promise you’ll keep an eye on her best friend through the night.
they leave, and you step into the room, feeling a small breath escape you at the sight of her.
she’s sitting up in the bed, beaming that stupidly gorgeous smile at you, but the stitches on her forehead and the scrapes and bruises on her face make your heart ache. she looks so small in the hospital gown, your otherwise larger than life daniela, but all you can think about is how grateful you are that she’s in one piece.
“will i sound too familiar if i start screaming about your dumb fucking choices tonight?” you start, but your voice can’t hide the fact that you’re not actually angry at her, as stern as you’re trying to be.
“sorry i’m such a shit-head,” she apologizes simply, the smile never dropping.
“how’d you know my dad’s nickname for you?” you tease.
“‘cause he calls me it like it’s my government name,” she winkles her nose back at you, looking around before reaching out a hand to you.
“i don’t think you’re all that bad, daniela avanzini.” you smile gently and take her hand in yours as you stand next to the bed.
“you haven’t known me long enough,” she snorts. “you’ll find something.”
“shockingly, i’ve liked what i’ve seen.” you press playfully into her chin. “i hope i get to know you long enough to prove you wrong, but you’re gonna have to stop doing stupid shit like this.”
“careful,” she clicks her tongue. “people might think you’re soft for me.”
“you got under my skin at some point.” you shrug, the smile on your lips only growing. “unfortunately, i think i like you there.”
she pauses for a moment, and you wonder if she’s going to say something stupid, but instead, she simply looks up at you with those sharp gorgeous dark eyes.
“will you stay, please?”
“you know,” you tell her, relenting instantly and cuddling into the bed with her, “i had this sick fantasy of finally hearing you beg, but now that you’re begging, i feel like a horrible person because it doesn’t actually turn me on.”
“you’re so evil,” she laughs. “maybe we are meant to be.”
“slow down, playboy,” you tease, before letting out a quiet nervous breath. “what’d the doctor say?”
“good thing i’m still insanely hot,” she says, flexing her biceps beside you, “cause it sounds like i’m never playing hockey again.”
your heart drops. “what? but lara said–”
“recovery for all the ripped joints is well over a year. that’s this and next season.” she holds up two fingers. “there’s no chance i’m going pro missing my rest of my junior and then my senior season, and that’s if my knee even heals right.”
“dani…” you feel your heart ache at the implication.
“that’s what, almost 15 years? just down the drain.” she shakes her head, dropping back against the pillow with wide eyes. “everyone is asking me what the fuck i’m going to do next and all i can do is stare back like an idiot.”
“you don’t have to know that yet,” you tell her gently, resting your head on her shoulder. “i think you should give yourself a chance to rest.”
she scoffs and runs a hand through her hair, sarcasm dripping in her voice. “still want to sneak around with me? broken knee, no more games, useless ass captain with her career down the drain? at least i can smoke so much more weed while i rot on the couch.”
you blink once, twice, as you realize the warmth in your chest has overflowed in a way that never had anything to do with daniela’s status. you like her for her, and you’re hurt she couldn’t see that from the start.
you cup her face gently in your palm and turn it to face you.
“dani,” you say quietly, trying to take in every inch of her features, her poor cut up face. “i don’t think i want to sneak any more.”
your heart pounds at the way her eyes light up.
“even like this?” she questions.
“especially like this.” you nod. “just give me some time to find the right chance to talk to my dad. maybe you can tell lara. we can figure it out from there.”
you’re mentally prepared for an excuse, from the pushback of wanting to still be single. you’re prepared for her to flip that switch and slap you with some stupid fuckboy ecxcuse, as she does whenever feelings start to get too heavily involved, but you know that’s a risk you run wih her anyways.
instead, she just stares back at you with those beautiful eyes, her smile threatening to split her face in two.
“okay,” she says simply, and it’s enough for you.
“you’re going to be okay,” you reassure her, carefully leaning into her chest to not disturb her bad leg. she wraps and arm around your shoulder and plays mindlessly with your hair. “you’re so one of a kind. things always work out for you.”
the night finally catches up to you, and you fall asleep in her arms. at this point, you don’t care who sees you. all that matters is dani needs you, and you want to be there for her, and there’s nothing your heart wants more than to make her feel cared for.
-
the championship game finally arrives two weeks later, and your heart breaks as the teams make it a special point to roll out a carpet on the ice to celebrate dani, who limps out in her leg brace and blows kisses all around her at the roaring fans.
the collegiate sports world was rocked by the news after your dad helped file the police report last week. the headlines hit immediately after:
“hockey champion’s career cut short due to violent assault from opposing team.”
you know it breaks her heart to have to watch the game from the bench, but dani’s calling out and making suggestions to your dad, screaming at the girls from the box to make sure they know she’s down but not out for the count. you can tell it does wonders for their morale, their leader still pushing as hard as she can from the constraints she has.
they’re wobblier on the ice than usual– like a creature on four legs that just lost it’s front foot. megan is compensating for the new left wing, who doesn’t match up with kazuha quite as gracefully as dani did, but they’re making it work. the game stays at a tense 0-0 even down to the bottom of the final period, and that’s equally lara’s job as goalie as well as yunjin’s work as defenseman to keep the puck away from their net.
it’s the offence that is feeling dani’s absence the most. it had always been kazhua to dani, zuha making a hole as dani runs the puck up, and then both of them clearing a clear pass to megan to make the final score. megan is overcompensating, somehow in multiple places at once, and by some miracle, makes a buzzer-beating shot that brings them up to their second championship victory.
1-0, and no easy feat.
the girls all swarm megan on the ice, but you quickly realize megan is crying her poor little eyes out as she races out of the swam and instead runs straight to the player box, crushing daniela in a hug as she tosses her helmet to the side.
dani furrows her brows and gives megan back the tightest hug she can manage with all the padding still on her. the other girls come to quickly trickle in and follow suit, and you can hear megan’s loud sobs heard over the hums and sniffles of the other girls. the reality sets in. their beloved captain is done for.
“we’re going to announce the next captain tomorrow after the championship recap press release,” your dad tells them, after a few pictures with the trophy and a debrief about the game. “get some rest, you all played your best tonight.”
he points to yunjin and daniela and motions for them to follow into his office. you figure you’ll give them some space and wait outside with lara and her girlfriend, but once you see yunjin step out and hurry away, you hear the volume increase. lara and the physical trainer both exchange concerned glances and walk away to offer them more privacy. you try to focus on other things, but you hear a thud of something hitting the desk, and walk into the office.
you catch the tail end of their argument. daniela’s jaw is hard and her face is red, almost as red as your dad’s, and you can tell the two have probably been screaming at each other a fair amount of time before you got there.
“captain goes to yunjin.” he presses firmly, slamming his fist down again into the table. “you thank the program for their time, you make the announcement that it’s huh, and you train her until the season starts. you can still see your scholarship out as long as you’re training with us since the injury wasn’t your fault.”
“i don’t give a fuck about my scholarship. yunjin is the wrong call for captain,” daniela bites back fearlessly.
“if you wouldn’t have gone looking for trouble, we wouldn’t have to be making this call.” he growls, shooing the both of you out of his door. “you don’t get to call shots any more, avanzini, you are done for. do what i say. announce huh at the press conference and stop causing issues.”
daniela storms out of the office, and you follow behind her, your dad slamming the door shut behind the two of you.
“if i wasn’t stuck in this fucking brace, i’d beat his ass too,” she rants, waving lara over. “let’s get the fuck out of here.”
“enough with fighting people,” you growl, following them to the car.
you spend the night, and daniela doesn’t want to say a single word more about it, instead simply laying in the bed and letting you play with her hair until she falls asleep. you want to leave it there, but something inside you is pressing to dig a little deeper, so you slip out of the bed as gently as you can without waking her, and ask lara if you can borrow the car to make a quick trip. your dad is clearly too stressed out about the conference tomorrow to be checking where you are, so you figure maybe you can dig a little deeper into this as you give chaewon a quick phone call.
you make it to chaewon’s apartment complex and just as you had the hunch, yunjin is pulling up at the exact same time, looking like a zombie as she tries punching in the access code to the front door. you park and race up behind her before she can leave you behind.
“hi yunjin,” you greet, making your presence known.
“y/n.” she forces a smile, spinning on her heel. caught. “good to see you.”
“i thought we were cool, but you don’t seem that thrilled to see me,” you wrinkle your nose. “did chae tell you i was asking about you?”
“unfortunately, yes,” she wrinkles her nose back at you. yunjin straddles the line between being confident and cocky, just barely able to rein it in that you’re never quite that annoyed with her.
“sorry for you, but i need answers,” you press.
“all for a girl who won’t claim you?” she arches a brow.
you bite back a grimace, not wanting to admit how deep that cuts. “this isn’t about dani.”
“when it comes to this team, everything is about dani.” she shakes her head.
“when it comes to dani, everything is about the team,” you insist, and you see yunjin’s eyebrow twitch slightly.
“i hate admitting when daniela is right, but i also disagree with the call to make me captain.”
“so don’t accept,” you state simply.
“i have to,” yunjin sighs. “it’s not that easy.”
“why don’t you think it should go to you?”
“i love hockey, but i don’t live and breathe it. coach y/ln just wants an incoming senior who can say the right polite things, keep the sponsors happy, and then graduate and be out of there. i’m the closest she could get to lara raj. dani, as much trouble as she caused, also got us the right kind of attention. it was supposed to be her keeping captain until she graduated. someone like that isn’t going to pop up again. lightning doesn’t strike twice.”
you marinade on her words. that might explain why dani is so irritated about the call– yunjin seems ready to be a puppet for the next year, and daniela would rather die than let captain go to someone who doesn’t see the sport as their whole life.
“i’ve never seen her like that before, so reasonable. she’s crazy about you,” yunjin adds as an afterthought. “she met her match in you.”
“crazy knows crazy,” you laugh.
“i think you believing in her changed her.” yunjin corrects you, offering a small smile as a peace offering. “she’s a pain in the ass, but she’s our favorite pain in the ass, so thank you for taking care of her.”
suddenly the door swings open, revealing a sleepy-eyed chaewon.
“oh hi, y/n,” she blinks, looking between the both of you. “i wasn’t expecting you to actually come over.”
“not crashing, just needed to find yunjin. thanks, chae. see you tomorrow.” you nod to them both and head off. you don’t have a plan, but you at least have a better idea of what’s going through daniela’s head, and maybe that can be enough for now. you drive back to her place and squeeze right back into bed with her, wondering what this new chapter could possibly have in store for you.
-
the press conference finally comes the next day, and you’ve never seen so many bodies packed in the conference room before. photographers, reporters, even what looks like scouts and coaches invited from other teams. yunjin is seated next to you in the front row by the coaches, and megan and lara are right outside the door watching on the screen outside the room with the rest of the team.
dani limps her way onto the stage, unreadable expression on her face. they offer her a roaring round of applause, their university’s mini-celebrity, before quieting down as she takes to the microphone to start the speech.
“hockey has given me the most beautiful past 15 years of my life. i’d like to thank the program, for giving me a home to call my own, and the coaches, for pushing me to be my best. i’d like to thank the girls, most of all, for trusting my decisions, following me into the dark, and picking me up every single time i’ve fallen in pursuit of perfection.”
“as we celebrate this win,” she continues, “i know my time as captain has come to a beautiful end. i will mourn the season i never got to share, but i know the next captain is going to set the most incredible example for the team moving froward. being captain changed me. it gave me something to be responsible for, and a reason to believe in myself, even on the hardest days, when nothing felt redeemable. this is not a decision the program has taken lightly, as the job of team captain is only for those strong enough to lead by example, and believe in themselves to do it with a clear focus on the team.”
she presses her lips into a fine line, clearly trying to fake a smile. your heart aches as you know she’s being forced to do this against her better hopes.
“i am proud to announce my successor,” she starts, her face cold.
theres a pause, and you see her eyes change. she looks up at you and that glint of mischief shines as your eyes meet. you whisper a scolding to yourself but the grin on her face tells you that her mind is made up. she leans into the microphone and takes measures into her own hands.
“the women’s hockey team is in no better hands next year than incoming junior megan skiendiel. thank you,” she nods and stands up, and the conference room bursts into a roar of flashing cameras, overlapping questions, and a few whistled cheers.
you know your dad is going to fucking kill her but she walks off the stage with no fear and heads backstage.
tutor girl texts you immediately.
holy shit
daniela’s too smart. the university is in too tight of a position to retract her statement. dani is adored by thousands, and the sob story of her early retirement locks in her legacy as a hero– if your dad retracts her statement, he’s as good as dead.
you all rush to find her backstage as your dad scrambles to the mic, announcing “no further questions.”
megan is the first to spot her, and you can already see the color drained from her face in shock as her lip quivers. “dani–”
“listen, megs.” daniela grabs the taller girl by the shoulders, pulling her in to look her deep in the eyes. “you are our top scorer. you are first to practice every time and always the last to leave. you live, breathe, and die by this sport. everything i know, i’ve taught you, and you’ve surpassed me. you are a better, younger version of myself and you are the heart of this team.”
you didn’t know where dani’s head was at with yunjin, but you can see it now. experience and composure vs talent and dedication. yunjin is perfect on paper, but megan is obsessed with the sport down to her very core. and when daniela needed a reminder she was more than just a stupid little problem child, she recognizes that megan needs the same push to see she’s not just some nervous idiot little kid.
“i can’t do what you do,” megan hiccups, and you can see how hard she’s biting down on her lip to stop herself from bursting into tears. “i can’t do any of this without you.”
“you won’t have to.” dani pulls her into a crushing hug, and you feel your heart warm. “i’ve got your back, and you’ve got all of ours. believe in yourself, or at least remember that at least one person believes in you, and the rest will come naturally.”
your dad’s voice booms over all of you, interrupting the otherwise tender moment.
“avanzini, my fucking office, now.”
he’s stanced menacingly in front of the group, finger pointed in the direction of the coach’s offices. you all fall silent, clearly terrified of what comes next from him.
well, all except for daniela, who steps right up to him and points a finger just an inch from his face.
“yeah, keep swearing at me ‘cause i got more to say to you, you bald-headed bitch,” she pushes back fearlessly.
“oh, don’t start, avanzini,” he groans, backing down and walking towards the office.
you want to die of laughter as you watch her limp after him. daniela and her incessant need to run her mouth.
you give megan a quick squeeze of reassurance and leave her in the arms of the girls. whatever is about to go down between daniela and your dad should probably involve a witness, so you chase them down and follow into his office. they don’t even notice you entering, right back into a screaming match they’re all too good at.
“do you know the shit you just got us into? i have a whole department losing their minds over their top spokesperson having to transition off and now you’re going off script picking your own fucking captain! do you know the position that puts us in?” he’s seething so hard, you see the spit flying from his lips as he can barely contain himself. “do you ever fucking think about anything besides yourself?”
“yes, actually.” daniela’s face is hard, she’s standing tall, taking the verbal beating but snapping back just as forcefully to make sure he knows it won’t be an easy fight. “i think about a lot of other people, actually.”
“forgive me for finding that hard to believe, between the partying, the disrespect, and the self-centered attitude.” he holds up a finger for each vice he lists. “you carry yourself like some cocky frat boy and i’ve enabled you for way too fucking long. sometimes i wonder what the fuck goes on up there in that brain of yours besides thinking about yourself.”
you see daniela’s fists clench, and she lets out a sharp breath.
“you wonder what i think about?” she snaps, before taking a step back and laughing bitterly. “this is a great time to tell you that i’m in love with your daughter.”
you freeze. oh christ.
“don’t joke like that, avanzini.” he waves her off, immediately attempting to call her bluff. “you’ve already put my blood pressure high enough. don’t pick the low fucking blows.”
“coach,” dani says simply, and her eyes flicker to you.
you look back at her, and realize your dad is staring between the two of you. his face falls instantly as he sees the look you share.
“y/n, if she’s roped you into some prank, it’s not fucking funny, and this is not the time. this is serious, kiddo, you can’t let her use you to make a joke at my expense–”
your eyes meet dani’s once more, and you realize you have a choice. be stuck under his thumb forever, or choose to be impulsive and brave.
and something about those eyes makes you feel like maybe, it wouldn’t kill you to be your own person.
“i know daniela is a pain in your ass, but she’s also passionate, and brave, and she loves hard.” you start, and your dad groans in exasperation as he buries his face in his hands.
“not you, y/n, i literally told them the only rule was not you,” he sighs, before pointing back at daniela. “i should have known i couldn’t fucking trust you.”
“you don’t see the good side of her because you’re too busy wishing she was lara, or yunjin.”
you see dani and your dad tense simultaneously.
“i’d be pretty annoying too if i couldn’t exist by myself,” you continue. “you’re always comparing her and she never gets a chance to just be celebrated for everything she does right.”
“no. not being trusted is a consequence of your own decisions,” he tells her.
“you don’t know everything about me,” daniela growls.
“no, avanzini, i do know you,” he snaps back quickly, an accusing finger in her face. “i know you’re arrogant and hot-headed. i know you act first and think later, and that’s if you even think at all.”
“and all of those things make her someone you can depend on to give 110%,” you jump in to her defense. “do you know how many times she’s shown up to cheer someone up after a hard game? how she teaches others how to show up first to every practice? how she’s there the moment anyone needs someone? every time the girls start to beat themselves up because you’ve been a dick, she’s the first one helping them feel better about themselves.”
“it’s not just about being composed,” you go on, “it’s about being connected, and daniela cares about everyone equally. doesn’t pick favorites, unlike you.”
“y/n, are you trying to kill me?” he runs a hand over his bald head, his skin redder than you’ve ever seen it before. he glares once more over at daniela. “and you, shit-head, you are to stay away from my daughter or i kick you from the team.”
“i’m not approved to play anyways,” dani snaps back immediately. “you can’t stop me from shit.”
“kicking her isn’t your call,” you push back.
“she’s going to ruin your future,” he warns, but it feels like the weak final attempt of someone losing to try and get the upper hand.
“you not listening to anyone else is going to ruin yours. watch how your team falls apart without dani to guide them,” you snap back, grabbing daniela’s hand to yank her out of the office with you. “she’s not some fucking monster.”
you pause for a second in the doorway, before adding a final thought.
“and for the record, dad, dani did everything possible to ignore me. i sought her out, over and over, because she was the only person who treated me like a human being and not like your little puppet.”
your hands are shaking as you two simply keep walking, making your way out of the building. you’ve never once pushed back against him like that.
“holy shit,” daniela says simply, slumping up against the giant oak tree by the athletics building.
it’s not enough for you, you’re all adrenaline, and if there was ever a time to claim and be claimed, it’s now.
“you could say it to my dad, right in his fucking face, and yet you can’t look me in the eyes and say it to me?” you tell her hurriedly, grabbing her hands and holding them in your own shaky ones. “you can look him in the eyes, tell him off, tell him you’re in love with me, and still not be able to look me in the eyes to say it here?”
“i didn’t think the chance would ever hit me again,” she admits. “i did it, but i was fucking scared.”
“big bad avanzini, scared?” you laugh, throwing your head back. “never thought i’d see the day.”
“i want to be a different person for you,” she tells you, her tone dropping into a more serious one, as she brushes a few strands of hair from your face. “a good one.”
“you are a good person,” you press, taking her face into your hand. “i wanted you then, before you knew you were good, and i want you now.”
“it’ll kill me if i hurt you,” she clenches her jaw.
“dani, we’ve already hurt each other and we weren’t even together.” you shake your head at all the time you two had wasted being stupid and playing games. “and you forgive me, and i still forgive you, and i still know you’re good at your core.”
“i want you bad, y/n,” she breathes shakily. “but things i’ve loved in my life never really end up working out.”
“because you sabotage them, thinking you’re not worth it.” you hold her perfect face in both of your hands, forcing her to look at you. “you are perfect for me.”
“it’s risky,” she warns you, but you can see her guard falling one last time. “being in love can be really fucking painful. it’s a huge risk.”
“luckily for me, i fell in love with the most reckless, relentless daredevil i’ve ever met,” you grin, and she matches your smile with her own. “i trust you, daniela avanzini. with my whole heart, actually.”
she pulls you into a searing kiss, and you realize it’s the first time you’ve ever kissed in the fresh air, not hidden in someone’s room or in a dark hallway. you relish it, her soft, warm lips against yours in the brisk winter time air, the way she pulls you in to press your bodies flush together. your heard thuds at the realization.
it’ll be the first of many.
-
megan taps the microphone nervously, pulling at her tie to loosen it.
“uh, hi.”
tutor girl is recording next to you, looking like a proud soccer mom. she told you just moments before how hard megan had worked on this speech. the summertime pre-season press conference is no joke, usually it’s how the program will set the tone for the upcoming season, and the team is eagerly waiting in the front row of the conference seating to cheer on the ginger on stage.
“i take the torch of leadership from a mentor who is extremely dear to me.” she starts slowly, and you notice that she has no notes in front of her, having memorized the speech itself. “i’m excited to work to bring out the best in this team, the way our former captain brought out the best in me, and in every one of us. i will aim high not to achieve, but to improve. all i will seek is that we improve upon ourselves, and the rest we’ll take as it comes for the love of this beautiful sport. thank you for believing in me, and i hope this season gives everyone something to be proud of. my name is megan skiendiel, and i am extremely honored to be named the women’s hockey team captain.”
she nods, bowing slightly, and stands up once the photos have all been taken.
dani watches on the other side of you, arms crossed. her lips are pressed into a grin.
“you did this,” you tell her, motioning to the packed conference and the roars of cheering fans from outside the conference room. “your stubborn self made this all happen.”
“someone once described me as relentless,” she smiles, poking you in the hip.
“no, i said you’re annoying,” you correct, as the two of you make your way back towards the coach’s area.
“i’ll be honest, i probably wasn’t listening either way.” she teases, and you roll your eyes. “you start yapping and i get lost in those eyes.”
“okay, alright loverboy,” you push her face away, but she presses back twice as strong to plant a kiss on your cheek. you squeeze her cheek in response. “ugh, you’re so fucking cute it makes me aggressive.”
“you’re always aggressive,” she laughs.
“don’t let anyone look at you during the faculty meeting,” you warn. “if someone smiles at you, you say–”
“‘i have a girlfriend, i love her with my whole heart, and she’ll kill you,’” dani nods, remembering the lines you two playfully ran the night before.
“you’re so good.” you hum happily.
“if anyone looks my way, i’ll call you and then punch them in the head,” she reassures you, laughing.
“no violence.” you warn her. “you’re not a frat boy any more.”
“i love you,” she says simply, but the firmness in her tone and the way she reaches for your hand speaks volumes.
you grab her by the chin and stare deep into those beautiful dark eyes. her tooth gem sparkles as she smiles widely back at you.
“be good, and have fun. i’ll wait for you at home.”
“naked, hopefully,” dani quips back quickly.
“we can’t keep traumatizing poor megan,” you laugh, shaking your head.
“you are the best thing that ever happened to me,” she tells you earnestly, eyes looking over you as if seeking something.
“if someone discovers how to quit you, i hope they let me know,” you wrap your arms around her neck and plant one last kiss on her forehead.
“hope that never fucking happens.” she says easily. “you’re stuck with my ass.”
“ugh.” you push her away with one last kiss to her cheek. “go be charming and stupid somewhere else before i drag you into a bathroom.”
she looks so fucking cute in the university polo. a popped collar and a red cup in her hands and she’d look much too comfortable throwing back to her frat boy days. she runs off and joins the familiar figure of your dad as the hockey program faculty head into a meeting room.
your dad shoves her, and she grins twice as big up at him as she jumps up to slap the back of his big, bald head and then sprints off. he grumbles something and you watch as the two disappear into the room with the rest of the staff. you couldn’t be more proud of the way dani has found a way to keep chasing her dreams.
daniela avanzini. incoming senior, and new assistant coach in training.
and, her title for you and you alone, daniela avanzini. the most passionate, caring, insanely brave girlfriend anyone could have ever imagined.
#katseye x reader#daniela x reader#daniela avanzini#daniela avanzini x reader#daniela avanzini x female reader#daniela katseye#katseye imagines#katseye daniela#☆゚ coolwyous works.#☆゚ coolwyous - hurt.
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Boredom

- This will either become a series or not, I might though
Warnings: Mentions of a husband, future cheating, billionaire nat
________
Natasha was bored. Plain and simple, it was the same routine every single day, she would get up, take a shower, put her clothes on, watch her husband flirt with the maids, eat breakfast and then go to work.
She owned a huge publicist company that produces hundreds of books a year, her husband wanted her to be a housewife after they got married, she only married him for his money anyways so she agreed but she soon got bored.
How couldn't she, there was nothing to do, she had tried everything, swimming in the pool, doing work out routines she found off YouTube, braiding her hair, cooking, cleaning, knitting.
But everything ended with her being extremely bored. Until she started reading, she loved reading, being able to escape reality, explore new worlds that were created in peoples head, it was inspiring.
She took her husband's money and opened a publishing company, she made her husband sign a contract, stating that if they ever divorced he had no claim to her company, he had no rights to the profit or ownership title
At first he laughed it off and signed, thinking his wife just wanted a hobby, he didn't believe in her, didn't think she could make something of her own.
It's been 10 years since she opened the publishing company, her company was worth billions and her husband hated her for it, she wasn't known as his house wife anymore, she was known as “Natasha Romanoff, Self-Made Billionaire”
Her husband had tried, pleaded, begged for her to put his name on the company, his own company needed that, he made terrible decisions and owed so much money to his investors, but she always told him no, when she started her company he laughed at her, but now he begs?
It's pathetic in her eyes.
She wanted some fun, someone to control maybe…
A soft groan left her as she tilted her head back against her chair, her fingers instinctively reaching for her phone, fuck, was she really going to do this? Cheating?
She looked down at her phone, her finger hovering over the app store, she sighed and clicked it, typing in the name of an app where she could find a girl to spoil,
‘Mommy's little slut’ was the name of the app, it took a few seconds to download, she glanced around her desk as the scattered paperwork that she abandoned, she was too tired to work, a quiet ping signaled the apps finished downloading.
She tapped the app and watched as the loading screen appeared
Log in through google
Log in through Facebook
Log in through gmail
She tapped on email and began making an accent, setting her preferences, her name, a profile picture before she was able to start swiping, her finger lazily swiping left on girls who she considered ugly, she had high standards.
Her finger paused on your profile, a soft hum as she looked you up and down before reading your profile
“(name)”
“Age 19”
“Single”
“In college full time and need money to cover tuition and other expenses”
“First time doing this”
“I love reading and writing, I'm taking a writing major course”
Natasha's lips twitch into a smirk, how convenient, a young girl who loves writing? And she owned a publishing company, it's like the fates were tempting her, she looked at your picture again before swiping right, she crossed her legs, waiting for the notification that you matched but it never came
A flash of irritation in her eyes, she took a screenshot of your profile and did a reverse image search on google and immediately found your Instagram, she clicked the link and was led to a your profile, pictures of you studying or just your desk littered with work
She hit follow and privately messaged you.
“Hello beautiful, I saw your profile on a sugar baby website, I think your perfect for me, feel free to message me, here's a little inventive”
She sent you a PayPal request, sending you 500 dollars, it was nothing to her but for a broke college girl? It was a lot.
She leaned back in her chair, slotting her phone on desk, before picking up a pen and continuing her paperwork
________
It was a few hours before you got back to her, her phone lit up with a notification causing her focus to shift to her phone again, a small smirk on her face as she saw your user “RWrites”
She clicked onto it, her eyes sliding over the words
“Hi, Natasha, thank you for reaching out, I apologise for the late reply, I had a last minute assignment to complete, I'd be interested to hear your terms for me becoming your sugar baby”
A sly grin crossed her face.
Finally,
Some fun.
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Hello hello! Do you have any Aaron fic recs? Or general recs? <3 TY! LOVE YOU! HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!
DO I EVER
I feel Aaron fics are the only thing I read. Hold on lemme open my bookmarks...
Okay, I'll rec 5 in each category bc I literally have so many recs I wouldn't be able to fit it all in one post
KevAaron
I don't think things through (I never get time) by 11moons - KevAaron, wholesome twinyards, one long delicious oneshot. I think it's quite new, I found it last night and inhaled it in one sitting.
you're losing me. by Ateiluj - It's a relationship breakdown fic, very angsty BUT there's a happy ending for KevAaron, so no fear! I love everything about it: the characterisation is spot on, the pacing is amazing, the plot is gripping, I can't find a single fault. 75k+ or something, read it in one night.
crashing into you by ratbandaid - Just a classic KevAaron oneshot, very entertaining. Loved every minute.
whitewater by Anonymous - SEVERELY underrated, I can't believe how few comments this has. It's one of my favourite fics, although it is *EXTREMELY* angsty—don't ignore the tags because there are a lot of potential triggers. The KevAaron is very slight in this, because it's more an Aaron-centric oneshot of a self-destructive spiral that gets worse and worse and worse. Angst with a happy ending, though!
Shared Smoke on the Backyard Patio by 11moons - Another fantastic Aaron study with lots of Kevin <3 a fic I keep coming back to.
Twinyards
Quiet by SparklingDragonTears - I love those slice of life moments between the twins. This is one of them <3
talkin too much (or I don't say enough) by 11moons - this is the third fic of theirs in this list and that's because everything they write is solid gold. Another fantastic Aaron study with bonus Andrew.
one more or one less, nobody's worried by sistercacophony - My skincare routine? Why, it's Aaron angst with lots of Twinyard drama and wholesomeness. Another great fic about Aaron's trauma, though ofc, mind the tags.
a guard dog there just for her by milfairy - I love milfairy's whole Trans Aaron universe, but this one is definitely my favourite. It's also the first in the series I think?? It's fantastic, with lots of Twinyard angst and love.
Medical Misunderstanding by CamilleDuDemon - Another author I highly recommend for their amazing Twinyards fics. This one is about Aaron being a good brother to Andrew.
KateAaron
you're holy to me by melopeya - I love little insights into their relationship, and this is just such a beautiful hurt/comfort moment where Katelyn showers Aaron with love. Your honour I just ADORE them.
aaron's lament by nanatsuyu - A fluffy family fic with KateAaron cuteness.
this red is for you by Ominous - I recommend their entire fic universe tbh but this one is particularly dear to me!!! I adore it. Protective and badass Katelyn, we love to see it.
a girl so bright she'll blind you by badcats - Aaron and Katelyn falling in love!! <3
with my last breath by ace_andi - Aaron and Katelyn talk after Seth's death. BONUS because I love my girl Katelyn:
Like a Force to be Reckoned With by Mia_writes - tbh this is not an Aaron fic, but it's a Katelyn character study set during Aaron's trial.
Rarepairs: MattAaron and Aaron/Allison
You look beautiful, but you don't look fine by orphan_account - I love, love sickfics, but it's very rare to come across an expertly written one. This is probably one of the best sickfics I've read in the aftg fandom. It's definitely one of the best Aaron-centric sickfics out there.
The End of the World as We Know It (But Not Really) by kiraisstillhere - Unfortunately this is incomplete, but it's a really interesting fic that starts with Aaron relapsing and Matt finding him. I'm always down to read anything that explores their addictions.
friends of friends by likearecord - I didn't know I'd even need to read an Aaron/Allison fic, but omg this one convinced me. They'd work SO well if they could both stop being so pissy for five minutes. A very enjoyable read!!
...And I would be remiss to not mention my own Aaron-centric fics:
can you bring life to anything? - it's an Aaron character study (oneshot)
Dope Sick - a freeform multichapter fic exploring his addiction and relapse
There you go!! I have so many more fic recs, the list just keeps growing because I read a lot of fic xD (And actually, I read only Aaron fics these days)
Thanks so much for asking!! this was really fun :D
#aftg aaron#aaron minyard#andrew minyard#aftg andrew#aftg kevin#kevin day#kevaaron#mattaaron#allison reynolds#all for the game#aftg
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sailor song - part 1 - e.w.
I am so glad to be writing a series again you guys! Heads up though, I am in school now, so I do need to focus on my studies, which means I can't crank out chapters once a day like I used to!
Y'all. I love Jackson Ellie. I legit have a Halloween costume of this on standby.
Summary: Mostly exposition, reader meets Ellie after a lot of staring from afar.
Warnings: Talks of religion
A/N: I'm trying to set this on after the events of TLOU II. In my head, I always feel like Ellie went back to Jackson and tried to start over and forget everything. I feel like she'd try to better herself, especially after literally losing everything. Also, let me know if you'd like to be tagged in the next chapter.
⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰
In Jackson, you normally went on about your day. You would wake up, pray, have the occasional outing, go on patrol, and then go back to your abode, where you would sleep. You always noticed Ellie though. Her presence, full of light, darkening as time passed, always penetrated your carelessness towards any outside happenings–or people.
You liked how Ellie carried herself, confident, and taking no shit from nobody. However, you also knew of Ellie’s sexuality, which, in your books, was a sin. While you would typically disregard sinners, there was just something about Ellie that drew you in. You didn’t know if it was the two pools of green mystery that were her eyes, or her low, but enchanting voice. Sometimes you would look from afar, watching her laugh as she smoked her joint and coughed, wondering if you and her would ever cross paths in the future. You presumed that she was too cool for you, too rebellious. In fact, you thought that in a normal world, she’d be a celebrity, as famous as Anne Hathaway, an actress from a movie you had loved watching during the movie nights in Jackson as a little kid, The Princess Diaries.
You didn’t know why you were religious, you supposed that it was a way for you to make some sense of the situation around you. After all, you could sum up this apocalypse as just part of God’s plan; and you wouldn’t have to overthink about the issues that came from it and the harshness of the situation. That aside, you wore the cross necklace you found one day while exploring some abandoned building out of boredom proudly and constantly. You read your bible every night, in hopes that maybe it would help you understand your circumstances, and in hopes that there would be a heaven for you to go to in the future.
One day though, after a rather sleepless night, you found yourself heading into town for coffee, looking rather disheveled. You were so tired, in fact, that you didn’t realize that your coffee was sloshing all around in its cup, and getting all over you.
“Hey!” Ellie called, running behind you.
“Huh?” you replied wearily, snapping out of it immediately when you realized who it was. Crap. It’s Ellie Williams.
“Hey, uh, you seem like you shouldn’t be running back to your house with burning hot coffee. Why don’t you come over here for a bit and drink it?”
“Oh, I didn’t realize that the coffee had gotten all over me. Please excuse my appearance,” you reply embarrassedly, “I’m fine though, thank you for the offer.”
“Then I’ll go with you to your house then.”
“Okay, didn’t realize you’re into stalking.”
“I’m into a lot more than just stalking”
Your cheeks burn like hot coals. “I suppose I can drink some coffee with you.”
“Alright then. Should we go back to your house?”
“No, no, we can drink some coffee at that table over there.”
“Are you hiding something?” You look her in the eyes. You sense a twinge of skeptical energy coming from her, which, per the rumors you heard, was never a good sign.
“No! My house just isn’t clean right now.”
With that, you and Ellie sit down and you drink your coffee.
“Do you want me to get you some?”
“Oh fuck no, I’ve always hated coffee.”
#wlw#lesbian#fanfic#fluff#pride#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams the last of us#ellie x reader#ellie williams smut#smut#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou2#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#angst#sailor song#gigi perez
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reading year in review
companion post to my writing year in review... thank you @teafig for tagging me in this fun new variation and also always being so sweet... i did more than one for some months because i really have. so. many. bookmarks.
serious active interests at the time, sleeper fandoms or genres or pairings
JANUARY
The Arowana by chesslyfe5eva (Danganronpa, 6,486 words)
When Kiyotaka is born, his grandfather gifts the new parents a baby arowana.
i know, i know. danganronpa fic on here and it's not even komaeda. but this one is so insane it grips me. i've never so enjoyed reading about original characters.
The Dog, Untrained by Anonymous (Disco Elysium, 12,950 words)
An exploration of those Cuno has lost, those he's gained, and those he can't let go.
this and the arowana are both from nemali bookmarks and oh. my. god. they possess me. non linear narratives. minor character character studies.
annotated by ritsukies (Miraculous Ladybug, 4,351 words)
Félix and Marinette share a quiet moment together in the shared space of Adrien's bedroom.
JANUARY WAS FELINETTE MONTH FOR THE COSHRIMPERS. all the fics in this series are killer but this one specifically eats my brain. reminds me of the first few picnics... the start of spouse house...
FEBRUARY
Blueberry passion fruit by @ninadove (Miraculous Ladybug, 5,486 words)
He walked up to the counter, because he could not think of anything else to do. For all those times he had rehearsed their reunion, he had failed to consider the most obvious scenario: Adrien might want to run away once more.
this fic was notable to me because it was the first time i had enjoyed a coffee shop au in quite a while. i did fall a little in love with nina writing.
MARCH
sailor's knot by nailgunstigmata (Dungeon Meshi, 5,345 words)
The dangers of the dungeon are plentiful. Some of them are of the moral kind.
FUCKED UP CHILAIOS YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME. this is the fic i remember blowing me away, briefly but for realsies.
APRIL
The Only Love We Keep by @nemaliwrites (Miraculous Ladybug, 6,935 words)
Five times Zoé’s love wasn’t reciprocated, and one time it was.
i'm obsessed with nemali fic. i almost put in pursuit of the uneatable too. this one obliterates me especially. i love zoé so dearly.
Terrycloth Mother by rowdymouse (Earthbound, 4,325 words)
Tony's faced with a hard task: providing Jeff all the love he never got and desperately needs.
i read this fic and it was so good and so chilling it immediately shot onto my all time favorite fanfiction list.
MAY
in the light of the red moon by @purplecatghostposts (Miraculous Ladybug, 29,317 words)
Félix succeeds in bringing Marinette back. Adrien, Kagami, and Marinette are now trapped in an empty world, unless they can either convince Félix to bring everyone back, or do it themselves. Meanwhile, Félix slowly learns of the consequences of pushing the Miraculous of Emotion past its limits.
i can't say more that this fic is literally my émotion dream fic. it's everything i ever wanted for félix.
My choice, despite everything by dezzert (Honkai: Star Rail, 88,188 words)
Episodes of Gepard and Sampo throughout the years, and what they learn about themselves through each other.
such a well written character and relationship study. i was never that into sampard in the first place but this fic makes me understand it.
JUNE
in the heat of the moment by sesame_seed (Honkai: Star Rail, 4,273 words)
Jing Yuan tries not to mind. His instincts are the least important part of him, after all.
AAAAAAAA RENJING TIME RENJING TIME RENJING TIME FINALLY. i'm getting emotional about it. this is one of the first renjing fics that inspired me to write my own renjing. i recommend all of this author's fics, especially on the beach and sandalwood and ash.
only the mountain remains by questioningly (Honkai: Star Rail, 10,195 words)
Ever since his return from the frontlines, Jing Yuan has been acting strange, and Dan Feng and Yingxing can't seem to figure out why.
this one's jingrenheng and it won't happen again but holy shit. i remember texting autumn about a particular line in this one, about yingxing having sex with jing yuan being just one of the ways in which he will live forever, and i'm still breathless about it. holy shit.
Sweet Dreams by vahveroinen (Honkai: Star Rail, 1,059 words)
Sunday teaches Aventurine a lesson.
i wish i had done penacony in july because this is too many fics but alas, i read my way through, like, 10 different tags in june. if i'm limiting myself to one aventurine fic it's this one. i forgot i loved somnophilia until i read this fic.
JULY
在路上 by Sweetie_tianyang (Honkai: Star Rail, 221,914 words)
艾利欧的剧本已然走到终点,在死亡如期而至前,刃想最后做一件事情。
i've been translating this fic for over three months now. it's one of my favorite fics ever and i need everyone to read it right now. it is the DEFINITION of renjing. also, i actually bookmarked it on june 30 but reading took a while and i obviously kept thinking about it and i don't have any other favorites in july. sorry to all the june fics i had to skip.
AUGUST
What Real Human Beings Do by @nemaliwrites (Miraculous Ladybug, 1,029 words)
There are ghosts living inside of you.
nemali, i think we should marry.
人不如猫糕 by breaddog003612 (Honkai: Star Rail, 8,845 words)
景元领养了芝麻酥跟糯米团后,某日跟前男友电刀调情被两只猫糕看到了……
you ever love an author so much they unlock your bestiality kink. every time i get an update from this author i get so happy. i love all of this author's jing yuan harem fics and renjing scenes. blade having a child kink is so so SO unbelievably true. i have to lie down about this.
for the hope of it all by @asukiess (Miraculous Ladybug, 9,000 words)
"in five years, there’s a house on the water. adrien’s fumbling with the rope knot keeping our sailboat tied to the dock. you’re watching him from the sand.” a pause, and then: “alive, i might add.”
autumn writing so good it makes you realize you have to read more classic literature to keep up.
SEPTEMBER
不xx就出不去的房间 by Acat3 (Honkai: Star Rail, 26,389 words)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA okay i admit i have only fully read the renjing chapter of this fic but by god i have reread it constantly. feiyuan too. i need to be more horny.
To bring back the fire in her eyes by @ninadove (Miraculous Ladybug, 2,074 words)
“No drink for you tonight,” Colt announced, the triumphant accent thundering down her spine. “It’s bad for the baby.”
obsessed with this fic and also its sequel. amélie. horror. amélie.
OCTOBER
性与爱的莫比乌斯环 by Acat3 (Honkai: Star Rail, 15,946 words)
this fic is so balls to the walls crazy it actually makes me sick. it's so good. i'm frothing at the mouth over it. it's horrible. i love it. please give me more of it immediately. this is also the fic that unlocked freak time with ishi ni sun and for that i will sloppy it infinity.
waiting room by @mostmagical (Mass Effect, 6,565 words)
When Shepard wakes up after everything, Garrus isn't there. And neither is anyone else.
my favorite nicole mass effect fic... it does remind me of 大鱼 but most of all it reminds me of my mostbeloved. and character study.
NOVEMBER
Alma de araña by @ninadove (The Shadow of the Wind, 2,177 words)
The boy you’ll die for peels away from his thoughts, and smiles.
nina writing has been consistently stunning me but this fic was truly a masterpiece. a plus plus plus. you will enjoy whether or not you know the book series.
i don’t want this to end, i just wanna be your friend by bishakespeare (Night in the Woods, 4,414 words)
Five times Casey saved Gregg and one time Gregg couldn’t save Casey.
uuuUUUUUGGGGGHHAAAAUUUUAAAAAUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAA. i got extremely crazy about night in the woods again, if briefly, and this fic. this fic is everything.
call & response by MOKANA (The Bright Sessions, 30,302 words)
Damien sleeps with every character: the fic.
i CANNOT overstate how good this is. porn with narrative and character study. got me reading top damien. lord almighty.
DECEMBER
reasons to stay by sulkybender (Arcane, 1,927 words)
After a while, he starts to think about reasons to live.
i have to sink my teeth into all of this author's fics. prose so good it opens up the world for me.
aside from my beloved friends whom i happened to tag already, hauling @isabugs @celestialtitania @monpetitchattriste @blur0se @heartfulselkie @coffeebanana into this. show me the fics, spouses.
#THE MORE FANDOMS THE BETTER#sniffas at my list. starting to get the impression i really love character studies#🌃#MY LOVE FOR RENJING STAYS STRONG... there are just not enough fics#no omori fics this year... that actually surprises me
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Spazzcat's (Incomplete) YOI Fic Rec List
@alexseanchai said yes please, so now you all get to hear me ramble about the YOI fics I've been reading! I may do another one in the future since I'm still working through the archive but for now, these are the ones I've enjoyed and hope you will too! Note: Unless specified otherwise, all these are completed works.
Until my Feet Bleed and my Heart Aches by Reiya
‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’ A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries. Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.
Wordcount: 200k Sex scenes: Several, plot-critical Additional notes: This is the first installment of the Rivals series, which probably everyone in the fandom has heard of but I can't not include it. The sequel, Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts, covers the story from Victor's POV. An absolute banger of a series, and a real treat to reread as well as read for the first time after learning what was happening on the other side of the conversations. Expect lots and lots of miscommunication and heavy emotions throughout.
2. Stargazer by Fahye
"No, see, we've all been trained a certain way. The training system is traditional; it's centuries old. Nobody taught you. You ballist like it's got nothing to do with war at all." A sleepy, extraordinary smile crawls over Victor's face. "Nobody else does it like that. That's why we're going to win."
Wordcount: 23k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: To paraphrase the author's notes, this is a sports AU of a sports canon, where the sport is a made-up sci-fi sport played by royalty. It sounds absolutely insane, I know, but trust me, the world-building is perfectly executed to tell you everything you need to know without getting bogged down with unnecessary exposition. Has an Otayuri-centric sequel.
3. Dear Mama by Ferrero13
In which Victor writes letters to his mother, who is fifty percent of his rationality and self-control.
Wordcount: 30k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: Epistolary format following canon from the perspective of Victor writing back and forth with his mother. Just a very cute and funny insight into Victor's head and heart.
4. How the Mighty Fall (In Love) by braveten
Every Victor Nikiforov fan has three things in common.
1. They have unrealistic expectations for romance. 2. They mark their calendars with the dates of his newest book releases and the premieres of his latest movie adaptations. 3. They either passionately hate or love his greatest rival, a mysterious author whose pseudonym is only two letters: “KY.”
Wordcount: 30k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: Authors AU, just an all-around fun read of meeting, falling, and some hilarious mix-ups and mistakes along the way.
5. My Fun Fact Is: by stillmadaboutpetra
Yuuri fails to mention to his new non-skater friends who he is or who his husband is. Or that he even has a husband.
Wordcount: 6k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: The identity reveal trope is one of my favourites, and this is my favourite fic out of those.
6. Written in the Stars by pheonixwaller
Yuri Katsuki is a scientist aboard a deep space research vessel. Their mission is to chart and study a black hole, but when there's an accident Yuri is forced to abandon ship. Alone and adrift he can only watch as his husband, Phichit, and all their friends are killed. Then, with rescue likely years away, he goes into stasis. Victor Nikiforov is the young captain of an exploration vessel. Known for his charisma it is his job to make first contact and establish friendly relationships with other space-faring societies. But his curiosity is piqued when his crew detects an old distress signal, and finds a lone survivor from a ship lost nearly a hundred years before.
Wordcount: 90k Sex scenes: yes, not plot-essential Additional notes: Far future sci-fi, be prepared for character deaths right at the beginning and grief/mourning throughout. Really well-thought-out sci-fi experience with romance as part of the plot but not the entire focus.
7. Tale of a Sleeping Prince by phoenixwaller
In a world where soulmates exist, but may not be alive at the same time, those born first become "sleepers." They go into self-induced hibernation that can last centuries until their soulmate is of age, and close physical distance. At the age of 12 Yuri Katsuki sees a photo of the living legend, the oldest known sleeper, Victor Nikiforov. It sets in motion a desire to get close to the other man by training to be a caretaker. Eventually he finds himself in Saint Petersburg Russia, ready to work as close to the sleeping man, but as he approaches the Living Legend awakens.
Wordcount: 16k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: I am weak for soulmate AUs and this is a really unique one supported by fantastic worldbuilding.
8. Trust Me, I'm an Alchemist by metisket
In which Yuri Plisetsky began life with the name Edward Elric, and this has made the world of figure skating a significantly stranger and more alarming place. “Are you saying you lived a life of crime before you began skating?” “I’m gonna have to check the statute of limitations on a couple things and get back to you on that.”
Wordcount: 55k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: Crossover with FMA, but knowledge of that canon needed to understand this should be minimal, I think. Focuses on Yurio and is one of the most hilarious fics I have ever read in my life, if you only read one fic from this list let it be this one, you won't regret it.
9. Empty Ice by phoenixwaller
Yuri Katsuki is considering retiring from competitive figure skating after coming in sixth at his first Grand Prix Final, but an accident only days after the final leaves his idol, Victor Nikiforov, in a coma. Grief stricken, Yuri decides to dedicate his season to the fallen skater and throws himself into the sport. He puts everything on the line for three final competitions. Then, dreams shattered, he retires. Adrift, grieving, and unsure of his place in the world Yuri turns to photography and quickly becomes known as one of the best figure skating photographers at competitions. It is this that leads him to the one thing that lends a sense of catharsis: recreating famous photographs of Victor, except in empty ice rinks. However, soon strange artifacts start to appear in his photos, and a presence calling itself Victor attaches itself to him. Yuri is left to wonder if he is going insane or if he's being haunted, and whether the strange artifacts in the photos are at all connected to the comatose skater.
Wordcount: 78k Sex scenes: yes Additional notes: Mind the tags, but trust me, it's worth the weird.
10. Miliy by fangirlandiknowit
Viktor finds himself in a sticky situation – referring to more than the mess in his pants after watching his favorite camboy’s show. In other words, how do you tell a camboy with a celebrity crush on Viktor Nikiforov that you are, in fact, the very man you role play with him as? The answer - you don't.
Wordcount: 66k Sex scenes: several, plot-important Additional notes: Lots of sex scenes (it's a camboy AU, what do you expect) but still manages to pack in an impressive amount of plot, drama, and feels.
11. Lessons in Love by fangirlandiknowit
All Viktor wants is for his son to be happy - and if that means spending countless hours at the ice rink, a million more in the ballet studio, and devotedly cheering for Katsuki Yuuri at every competition he enters, then that is precisely what he'll do. He just didn't expect to become a fan, too. (He didn't expect to fall in love.)
Wordcount: 180k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: Broke: fake dating. Woke: Pining so hard everyone around you is convinced you're already dating. Strikes a great balance between a Victor who takes the important things in his life very seriously and a Victor who is a complete disaster when Yuuri's around. Very sweet, very funny, however you may have to suspend your disbelief regarding the physical and mental development of a ten-year-old.
12. No Storm Can Venture There (orphaned fic)
General Viktor Nikiforov stands, hands in his pockets, facing the man he so desperately needs on his side. "We've got four Jaegers and we're missing a pilot," he states. Pauses. The silence stretches, pulled at both ends by both stubborn wills. Finally- "You know I won't," former Ranger Yuuri Katsuki starts, turning his gaze aside, standing, shoulders tense, "can't." Viktor closes the distance. "Of course you don't think you can when you've been hiding from the possibility."
Wordcount: 180k Sex scenes: Otayuri glimpsed only briefly Additional notes: Going in, this fic starts off seeming like a beat-for-beat Pacific Rim rewrite with YOI characters. If you give it a chance, however, it is very much not, and goes further and further away as the story progresses. Very much a wild ride.
13. you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be by roserelease
More than anything, Yuuri wants to impress his cosplay role model Viktor Nikiforov, aka Nike Cosplay. But after a horrible start to a convention weekend, he panics and backs out at the last second to meet his idol. Normally this would be fine, except Yuuri discovers too late that there's a little Viktor related secret inside the con vlog his best friend filmed over the course of the weekend for him... It's fine, he thinks. Embarrassing, but not the end of the world. And it's not like Viktor himself will ever see the con vlog, so why worry? (Except for when one fateful, lonely night, Viktor does.)
Wordcount: 200k Sex scenes: yes Additional tags: Be very mindful of the tags, while being a very positive story overall this one does touch on some heavy subjects and the second installment in the series even more so. Fourth installment is in progress and last updated Jan 15, 2024 at time of writing.
14. empty spaces between stars by astudyinrose
Victor gets just as drunk as Yuuri at the Sochi Banquet, and they disappear together after the dance-offs. They wake up the morning after with rings on their fingers, and pictures of them kissing after getting married the night before are all over the tabloids… but neither of them remembers a thing. They decide to stay married for a while for the sake of Victor's sponsorships, and in exchange, Victor coaches Yuuri through nationals…
Wordcount: 225k Sex scenes: yes Additional notes: Be mindful of the tags again for this one, otherwise a nice juicy slowburn of relationship development.
15. The Coin, The Stone, & The Rose by Silver_Scribbles
Crown Prince Viktor Nikiforov once had the world at his fingertips; he was rich and powerful and handsome, and he had everything his heart desired. Now, he is a Beast, imprisoned by an Enchantress' spell; hiding away from the world in the never-ending winter of his shame. Katsuki Yuuri is . . . odd, to say the least. Beautiful, but odd. While the rest of the villagers put one foot firmly in front of the other, Yuuri would rather loose himself to his dancing and his daydreams; always wishing for something more than his provincial life. Each is captive to circumstances beyond their control; trapped by unbreakable spells and impossible dreams. However, an unlikely meeting is about to change everything. Hope makes a final play for their salvation as the sands of time run out; but as Yuuri and Viktor learn to find themselves in one another, they also make discoveries that they're completely unprepared for . . . some wondrous, some wretched . . . and some treacherous enough to permanently tear them apart. For who could ever learn to love a Beast?
Wordcount: 270k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: While the first chapter is a well-executed tribute to disney's Beauty and the Beast, this is very much its own story that takes some of the basic elements and creates something entirely new and suited to the characters. Be advised that as the story progresses it does get a bit darker and heavier in some ways that aren't tagged for such as blackmail, forced marriage, and violence, but it does end happily.
16. The Rules for Lovers by ADreamingSongbird
Prince Yuuri Katsuki has a duty to his country, above all else (his desires, his dreams, and his happiness included), and he knows this alliance will help to ensure the safety of his people. That’s the only reason he accepts Prince Nikiforov’s hand in marriage. The pleasant surprise, of course, is the part where they fall in love along the way. The unpleasant one, well… That’s a long story.
Wordcount: 325k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: Fascinating AU mixing not just royalty but magic, with a background world that diverged from our own. Does take the realities of court politics and political intrigue seriously and gets fairly dark at points, so approach with some caution.
17. Let Me Fall For You by HuntressFirefall
Victor Nikiforov was on his way to becoming a Living Legend in the sport of figure skating. After hitting his stride and winning back-to-back World Championships, the sport's biggest star was the overwhelming favorite to win gold in his third Olympics on home ice in Sochi, Russia. But when Yuri Katsuki pulls off the upset victory in Sochi at the young age of 21 and takes the gold, Victor begins to see his world and the people in it in a very different light -- and it turns out they see him differently as well. No longer knowing who he can rely on and finding he didn't know those close to him as well as he thought, when his skating career falters Victor makes a shocking choice that turns his world upside down in ways he did -- and didn't -- expect.
Wordcount: 400k Sex scenes: yes Additional notes: Takes a very serious look at the pressures of high-level skating and the consequences of that. The heavy emotions lead to the ending being satisfying beyond belief.
18. The Nature of Things by Zombubble
Lonely, tired, and stuck in Detroit for two months due to competitions, Viktor Nikiforov decides he's staying. He's not sure what he expects to find, but it's certainly not love, and he certainly doesn't expect it to come in the form of the World's Cutest Barista. But when the pressure of his career threatens to strain his burgeoning relationship, and long-held secrets come into the light, he finds his love tested in ways he'd never anticipated, with life-changing results.
Wordcount: 465k Sex scenes: None that I can recall Additional notes: What starts off looking like a meet-cute with skater!Victor and barista!Yuuri turns far more complex and serious when Yuuri turns out to be secret royalty. Long, emotion-heavy, and just touching on some of the darker facets of court reality.
19. All Our Yesterdays by Kitsunebi_UK
York, England, 2120: Yuuri Katsuki is a dime-a-dozen techie, spending his days doing routine repairs at the university. He hangs out with his friend Phichit, goes for a drink, watches holograms. It’s an existence – but is it a life? Crowood Castle, Yorkshire, 1392: As the son of a baron, Sir Victor Nikiforov makes judgements where lives hang in the balance. As a knight, he must sometimes end them. It’s what he was born to do – but what of the heavy burden on his soul? Death is all too commonplace, while life and love remain elusive. When a brilliant scientist goes rogue, journeying to the Middle Ages with the world’s first time machine, Yuuri is stunned to be called on as the last hope of preventing her from changing history. After an abrupt departure, he lands at Crowood Castle disguised as an enemy of the Nikiforovs, Sir Justin le Savage – and will need to act the part if he is to survive. It’s a tall order for someone who can barely tell the back end of a horse from the front. But if Ailis, in her own disguise, discovers who he is, his mission will end in a blaze of laser-gun fire. He must not give his real identity away, even to the beguiling knight he’s falling in love with…
Wordcount: 1.02 million Sex scenes: yes Additional notes: A wild ride from start to finish, with truly exceptional attention to detail in creating a believable future and a realistic past, plus some scarily believable worldbuilding for the time periods in between. Expect period-typical violence for all eras that come into play. Does get downright heartbreaking near the end, but hang in there, they do get their happy ending, I promise.
20. Equivalent Exchange by writingfromtheshadows
Without the Katsuki line to protect and maintain the laws of magic, Great Mages have become so few and far between that many believe the age of magic is coming to an end. However, when he comes across a young man weaving tales with figures of fire, Viktor begins to wonder if magic is truly dead, or if it lives on in the body of the storyteller with warm brown eyes.
Wordcount: 200k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: Wonderfully constructed fantasy setting, intriguing magic system, and an intense plot bringing it all together.
21. When the World Stops... by Miled
When an injury sidelines Viktor from competing as a skater, Yakov encourages him to take up coaching even if he kind of sucks at it. On the other hand, Yuuri is absolutely devastated that he can no longer strive to compete with his inspiration. Instead of giving it up, he dedicates one last season to honoring Viktor's career...but then Viktor takes notice.
Wordcount: 200k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: Just a really interesting what if possibility!
22. L'ultima volta by goodbye_blue
“Hey, Mila,” Viktor looked up at her, bleary-eyed. “You don’t know any theoretical physicists, do you?” “…No?” She replied hesitantly. Yakov had seen enough. “What the hell are you doing?!” He stormed, rounding the table. Oh no, he thought when he saw the video. His stomach sank a little. It was that Japanese skater, Katsuki. The dark horse who had just demolished the competition at Skate America.
Yuuri and Viktor find themselves years in the past, right at the start of the fateful season where they first met. Now, if only they could figure out whether they’ve come back alone.
Wordcount: 25k Sex scenes: none Additional notes: They're idiots, your honour.
23. eternity will be born from hope by vivi_writ3s
On the tail-end of being dropped by his junior coach mid-season, Yuuri Katsuki is hit by a car and realises the universe must have a sick pleasure in fucking him over. Or; Twenty-nine year old Yuuri wakes up in his seventeen-year old body and decides fuck it, if the universe decided to screw with him, he’s going to screw back.
IN PROGRESS Additional notes: This is the beginning of a rewrite of a fic by the same name and author that they decided to alter because they realized they went OOC for Victor's age in the story. The pre-rewite version is still up as the first fic in the series and is absolutely worth reading as is (there are several scenes I go back to regularly).
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fav comic writer & artist?
Hello! Thanks for the awesome question!
I'm not sure I have a FAVORITE writer, but here are some I do like:
Shawn Martinbrough took over for RHATO Rebirth for the last couple issues and us writing Redhood: the Hill, and I did really like his writing for RHATO, much better than Scott Lobdell
Gretchen felker-Martin wrote Jason's issue for Titans Beast world tour: gotham and it was hands down the best jason characterization I've ever seen since under the redhood despite him being a furry in it lol. She might be my new favorite actually
Geoff Johns wrote Batman: three jokers and I gotta be honest, for all its flaws (including some jason and Barbara), it'd probably one of my favorite series. The mix of the art, the exploration of chronic pain and trauma because of the joker, ugh so good.
Of course, I've got to give props to Judd Winnick for lost days and under the red hood. How jason was before he was retconned into being a sloppy stupid hothead, he was clever, cunning, sneaky, SMART.
An honorable mention is for suicide squad get joker, but definitely not my favorite
As for artists, me! (Just kidding) that's also hard to pick just one favorite, but I LOVE these artists
Dexter soy has such a unique way of doing comic art, but I just love it. He makes jason look his age and not, you know, a 50 year old Vietnam War vet. And I love the way Artemis was drawn as a strong, tall amazon woman with muscles and not, you know, skinny feminine woman like old style comics.

I also just LOVE Alex maleev for his work in suicide squad get joker. The people are drawn well, the color palette, it's all so visually appealing. And again, jason isn't 50. It seems like a lot of comic artists forget that most members of the batfamily are in their 20s


Jason Fabok gets a mention for his art in batman three jokers. It was beautiful. Same reasons too. I'm also a sucker for line art


Finally, one of my most favorite artists isn't even a jason todd artist but I wish he was. Bruno Redondo does a lot of the art for the newer Nightwing comics and I LOVE IT. The color scheme is so visually stunning, everyone is drawn so well, it's beautiful.




And call me a narcissist but I gotta add some of my own art in here lmao but thanks for the ask!!! This is very exciting for me and I love talking about jason todd as he is someone I've studied and read everything about for the last few years

I've reached my image limit so I might start posting my own art as well
#jason todd#batfam#batman#bruce wayne#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#dexter soy#dc comics#dcu#bruno redondo#judd winick#geoff johns#alex maleev#shawn martinbrough#gretchen felker martin#jason fabok#dc joker#dc haley#suicide squad#rhato#rhato rebirth
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I was tagged by the lovely @lisavetbathory ♥
Rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.
I'm going to have to bend the rules somewhat as I don't have five fics uploaded to A03, so here's a sneak preview of a couple of WIPs as well!
Most hits: But then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full, and sank in the burrows of my keep (BTVS // Jenny/Giles) || A Jenny Lives AU that will eventually take us all the way through to the end of the third season. I am the absolute worst because I already have a desire to go through and edit so much (bearing in mind I have about seventeen chapters already written and the whole thing mapped out.) I'm too self-critical/a perfectionist at times.
Also, the title comes from a Fiona Apple song Pale September.
But then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full And sank in the burrows of my keep And all my armor falling down in a pile at my feet And my winter giving way to warm as I'm singing him to sleep
One day I'll share my Jenny playlist.
2nd most kudos: The above AU has the second most kudos so instead, here I will share a bit of the four parter story I have nearly finished. Who doesn't love a bit of time loop fun? Giles decides to reset time to save Jenny from Angel. Jenny returns the favour. Chaos ensues.
“So what spell did we both use to ensnare us in this loop?” “The Rite of Vassago.” “Why on Earth would we cast that?” He looked horrified. “Dire circumstances,” she shrugged. “Don’t look at me like it’s my fault! You cast it first!” “I did?” “Yeah. You know, in the last loop you were much more grateful,” she said pointedly.
3rd most comments: Life sang the refrain of love (BTVS // Jenny/Giles) || I had so much fun writing this one. Jenny makes the mistake of going to Ethan's costume shop to find the perfect outfit for the holiday and gets more than she bargained for when he discovers she is dating a certain librarian...
The plot/the transformation Jenny undergoes is inspired by a 1917 silent film called Rapsodia Satanica. I studied film at university (so if Jenny ever comes across as a film nerd in any particular fic, there you go) and find the preservation of older works not only interesting, but so vital, so am delighted to share this is on YouTube should you ever want to check it out!
4th most bookmarks: I'll Haunt the World Inside You (THG // Haymitch/Effie) || I was deep into the THG tumblr fandom back in 2012 and Suzanne Collins just keeps pulling me back in with her new stories. This was something I actually started writing back during the Covid lockdown to kill the time. Myself and a friend would send each other respective chapters of our fics. It was cute. I've decided to unearth the fic and finish it off.
Back in the FF.Net days I had a story similar to this that is very much here in spirit all these years later. Sometimes I wish I hadn't deleted that account just so I could go back and see my development as a writer well over a decade later...
5th most words: Here's another nice mess you've gotten me into (BTVS // Jenny & Dawn, background Jenny/Giles) || As I say in the notes, I can and I will insert Jenny into various shenanigans she missed out on. I'm not someone who thinks Jenny is a) good with kids, b) wants kids, or c) would continue to get along with all the scoobies in the long run... and I think all of that still lends itself to having fun with her interacting with the gang. This was a little slither of self-indulgence about her being forced to spend time with another character I love in the series: Dawn.
Fewest words: Nightmares WIP (BTVS // Jenny & Giles) || Given my Jenny Lives AU starts mid-s2, I did want to go back and explore what Jenny's role could have been in earlier stories through the occasional oneshot. Nightmares isn't my favourite s1 story (and I hold the first season in very high regard, Teacher's Pet aside) but I adore the concept. Sidenote: it also makes a great double bill with the Charmed episode From Fear to Eternity.
What would Jenny's nightmares be? That's a very rich concept to delve deeper into. It's also something that, if they had actually mapped her character out from the off, could have served as a good springboard into her second season arc, but alas.
“No, Jenny, it’s not that - though as you are apt at reminding me, I’m sure I wouldn’t get it regardless,” he was short, quicker to reach breaking point than usual in their back and forths. “But I can’t read.” “...Then you’re out of a job buddy.” He scoffed, then his head dropped into his hands with a groan. Realising she had said the wrong thing, Jenny awkwardly sat beside him and attempted to break the ensuing silence. Winding him up was only fun when he didn’t appear to be on the precipice of a breakdown. “What do you mean you can’t read?”
Tagging: @mistyintherivers, @coraniaid, @brutal4you + anyone who would like to share their work!
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Girl you should ABSOLUTELY release the OC fic! Honestly I prefer OC fics and lowkey when I read "y/n" stuff I'm actually putting an OC in place instead of like "myself" because I just like the way people write these characters we already know and love in new and interesting ways, not because I'm "inserting myself" into the story if that makes sense?
Not only that, but I ALWAYS respect fic writers these days who actually develop OCs as well! Again, not that there is ANYTHING wrong with writers who only do "x reader" stuff! BUT, sometimes I feel with the trend of almost every fic I come across being a reader insert, the online fanfic suffers from a stifled creativity when it comes to developing fully realized characters. We almost don't have as much opportunity to challenge ourselves as writers because there is less of a need to really sit down and work on a character from scratch. For the sake of relatability or leaving enough open for more readers to immerse themselves into the protagonist as themselves, the reader will be able to almost "madlib" it after publishing. And then, we don't have to worry as much about their ins and outs as in depth as we could for an original character. Of course, thats the goal with "x reader" fics anyway, so it makes sense! But I personally prefer as a writer and a reader to read about new characters that others have come up with in depth and how THEY interact in the universe the fic is set in, not how "I, myself, y/n" would interact in that world.
NOT that its impossible, and in fact I think a lot of fic writers here who do solely "y/n" work DO an amazing job of writing very decently flawed and complex characters despite them being reader inserts! YOU, for example, with y/n in video games. I love that I sometimes wanna shake y/n and say GIRL WHAT R U DOING or roll my eyes at her or laugh with her or wanna hug her in support and empathy. Because that's what making a complex character is about! Obviously I love your series, and a lot of others on this site as well! There is absolutely merit to all of these as well! But for me, I especially adore stories where the writer has flexed their creative muscle that much more to really invent and explore an entirely original person. That is what makes these fics the most compelling for me, personally! Really getting to see a strong character development of an entirely new character in a universe I already love is really exciting, as someone studying creative writing in uni!
SUPER SORRY for the long ass message! All this to say that I hope you don't ever feel discouraged about releasing a fic with an OC, or feel like you have to turn her into a reader insert instead. I know the online demand for reader insert stories seems to far outweigh fics with original characters these days, based on the sheer volume of them whenever I am searching for a new fic to read. But there are absolutely readers out here who really do look forward to seeing more opportunity for writers to exercise their creative muscles a little deeper than we are used to! And we look forward to writers like you introducing to us the characters YOU create and love, not JUST writing for characters who already exist (again, we love those too! But as a writer, OCs are what make the fics the most interesting to me!).
Anyway, slay the day away queen. xx
YES YOU EXPLAINED IT PERFECTLY, its very easy to just give no substance to ‘yn’ when writing for fear of excluding anyone and having a disconnect with the character. It’s definitely a fine line and it really means so much what you said ab my dear yn in video game i love that dumb girl so much and yes! Thats the point! The emotional parts of it all are what makes us connect with the character i mean i can write silly cute texts all i want but at the end of the day that’s all they would be. As a reader I need the DRAMA the ups and downs to keep me hooked lol, no person is sweet and agreeable 100% of the time. Ik im definitely not! And like you said NOTHING wrong w x reader fics obviously that’s what all of my other works are on tumblr but it can sort of stifle you in a way. On my old wattpad it was nothing but ocs and as cringe as i find them now I WAS SO FREE lol i wrote some crazy stuff.
I started writing the megumi fic so long ago literally months of thinking and plotting out and changing little details for what? To just sit there? And reading the manga I just kept thinking up so many new ideas that would be so fun and juicy to write about but i never got around to it.
THANK YOU FOR THE LONG MESSAGE I LOVED IT. This is one of the things that is so amazing about writing. Yes smut is fun and so are little headcanons but when it is something you actually passionate about and making up your own ideas it just makes it feel so much more special when people connect with it! Creativity is such a beautiful thing, as I get older it is easier to get lost in the cycle of life and miss out on doing the little things i enjoy-getting to express myself in ways i don’t usually get to. My writing time is so sacred and special to me im so happy to be back on it. I really really appreciate your kind words I LOVE building a little community and interacting with others on here. Your comments truly make my day and make me so excited to write!
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Hi there!
Ive recently stumbled across your works, and I just wanted to say that I enjoy your writing soso much!! Each time i read any of ur pieces, i feel ever so blessed that i can read them for freee,,, ??like wow!! I absolutely love your characterization of arthur, and any piece of banter you write never fails to make me laugh!
Your writing style is so addictive, ive honestly found myself missing it when I read anything else. Because of this, id like to ask if you have any book recs? hehee anything that inspired that brain and writing of yours seems like it would be a worthwile read!! From ur alltime favs, or recent favs, comfort books, or books that gave u personal epiphanies, pls feel free to not hold back !! (If its not too much trouble)
And once again, thank you soso much for all your lovely works!! 💗
I LOVE talking about books, so thank you so much for this ask. This is a very truncated list of some of my favourite authors and books because if I wanted to talk about all of them, that would be a post as long as one of my fics.
First up is Terry Pratchett, who I came to rather late; I just started reading Discworld in 2020, despite @clonemaster-general and @jinxedwood telling me years earlier I should read him, so they should feel free to be smug about the fact that I ignored their sound advice for a long time and then went, "Ok, where do I sign up for the cult" after reading approximately one (1) Pratchett novel.
Discworld is a fantasy satire series that's over 40 books long, but those 40+ books simply take place in the same world and do not have to be read in order, although I would recommend reading any subseries featuring the same characters in order (the City Watch books starting with 'Guards! Guards', the Witches starting with ''Wyrd Sisters' etc.) Pratchett did write some non-Discworld books, although the bulk of his very large body of work is that series. He was a very gifted writer who was able to present the stupidity and injustices of humanity in a way that made you laugh and feel that it's bearable to live alongside these things. No other author has made me laugh so much at dumb little puns or dick jokes and then suddenly slapped me with a banger of a line about human nature.
'The Once and Future King' by T.H. White. A retelling of Malory's 'Le Morte d'Arthur'. It's silly, it's touching, it asks why humans go to war. If you're tired of relentless grimdark, this book shows you that a novel can explore serious themes and ask serious questions of its readers while also being a bit silly and stupid, because like suffering, silliness and stupidity is an intrinsic part of the human experience.
'The Left Hand of Darkness' by Ursula Le Guin. I could really just say, "All of Ursula Le Guin's stuff" because I've read several novels, a ton of her short stories, plus most of her essay collections and I've loved them all, but I wanted to mention this one particularly because Le Guin was examining our ideas of gender and society in the fucking 60s and I'm tired of hearing right-wing nutjobs bang on about trans people like they're some alien species newly landed on our planet to kidnap our children. Also, what I love about Le Guin's sci-fi is that she was concerned primarily with the culture of alien societies, not laser guns, and her world building is incredibly deep in that regard. Her father was an anthropologist, and you can see how his studies shaped her writing.
'The Lymond Chronicles' by Dorothy Dunnett. I love me a good swashbuckler, and these are some good swashbucklers. There's also some really beautiful prose that really evokes the landscapes of 15th century Europe, and her action/battle scenes are some of the most gripping I've read. The caveat with this one is that I actually don't like the main character all that much; he's a real special guy who speaks all the languages, is good at all the things, is a master strategist at 20, and is hot to boot. But the story is told mostly through the POVs of other characters that get caught up in his exploits so you're not stuck in his insufferable perspective, and I found the books overall (there are six in the series) very hard to put down.
'The Count of Monte Cristo' by Alexandre Dumas. The OG swashbuckler, really. Shipwrecks! Duels! Poison! Revenge! People just don't do dramatic adventure novels like Dumas anymore.
'War and Peace' by Tolstoy. I can't not mention this; I've read it twice so far in English and once in Russian. Tolstoy was an amazing observer of human nature. Also, he clearly thought Napoleon was a little bitch and reading about him from the perspective of a Russian novelist is quite entertaining after reading about him from Victor Hugo's perspective.
'Les Miserables' by Victor Hugo. I also have to mention this one. Yes, there are very lengthy asides on the Parisian sewer system. In the middle of a chase scene. But tbh, Hugo was curious about everything and while maybe he talked about every single one of those things a bit too long, it still endears him to me. Also, he was known more as a poet than a novelist by contemporary readers, and even in translation I think the fact that he was a poet really comes through in the prose.
Also, really anything by Patricia McKillip if you want dreamy, poetic fantasy that feels like being dropped right into the middle of a fairytale where magic has no hard rules and is something a bit wild and dangerous and beautiful.
I also read a lot of non-fiction, so I'll just list a few of my faves: 'Survival in Auschwitz' by Primo Levi; 'The Gulag Archipelago' by Alexandre Solzhenitsyn; James Herriott's 'All Creatures Great and Small' series; 'Landmarks' by Robert Macfarlane (but really any of his nature writing; this one I liked particularly because it's about the power of language to evoke a sense of place and how our vocabulary for the natural world is slowly being subsumed by our increasingly technologically-driven world). 'The Demon-Haunted World' by Carl Sagan, which was written in the 90s but if anything is even more relevant today as we struggle with parsing the mythology of pseudoscience and the real-world harm it perpetuates.
And I read a fuck ton of poetry, so I'll just rattle off a list of some of my favourite poets: Wilfred Owen, Isaac Rosenberg, Siegfried Sassoon, Rupert Brooks, Edward Thomas (I also love his nature writing), Alexandre Blok, Pushkin, Ursula Le Guin (she's primarily known as a novelist, but she has some very good poetry as well), Mikhail Lermontov, Anna Akhmatova, Alexander Pope, Tennyson (particularly Idylls of the King), Seamus Heaney, and Yeats.
Anyway, this is a small sampler of books I've read and loved.
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Reading This Week 2025 #12
hello hello. for no reason at all i was awake at like 6am this morning despite it being a sunday. i wanted to sleep in...... why is this never possible for me...... i feel so drowsy
Finished:
Ouran High School Host Club, Vol. 16 by Bisco Hatori, translated by Su Mon Han the stuff tamaki is going through is genuinely intensely abusive jesus christ. get him out of there. help.
The Summer Hikaru Died, Vol. 2 by Mokumokuren, translated by Ajani Oloye with the second volume i have officially started insistently recommending this manga to friends. a horror manga exploring how adolescent queer desire feels terrifying and monstrous and predatory, yes please
My Love Mix-Up! Vol. 1 written by Wataru Hinekurem, art by Aruko, translated by Jan Cash on the one hand this is very sweet. on the other hand the amount of romcom miscommunication in this to set up the romance makes it close to unbearable to me. i might try and power through reading the second volume but i might be too weak for it
Chainsaw Man, Vol. 17 by Tatsuki Fujimoto, translated by Amanda Haley fuck yeah. dont have more to say this just rules
What Did You Eat Yesterday? Vol. 13 by Fumi Yoshinaga, translated by Jocelyn Allen chill and sweet as always
A Market of Dreams and Destiny by Trip Galey, narrated by Will Watt oh my god a fae-ish romance where the writer is actually clever and creative enough to do something interesting with faerie magic??? it does this by focusing on a goblin market, rather than any kind of court, so the trickiness of fae magic, the intricate language and the underhanded dealings and trade in ineffable concepts like time and luck and love can really shine. i love the stuff about the language of bells. how the bells rhyme when they speak, or, if the phrase they say fails to complete a rhyme on its own the narration will pick up the duty and finish it. this was tons of fun
Point of Hopes by Melissa Scott & Lisa A. Barnett i loved reading this! such fun worldbuilding around an astrology obsessed medieval fantasy city. i loved also the depiction of apprenticeship as a system taken very seriously. excited to read the other books in the series where i think it gets more explicitly gay than it already is? i actually sent this to a friend as a recommendation for studying writing a mystery in a fantasy setting while also balancing the need to worldbuild to make anything make sense
Embodied Exegesis: Transfeminine Cyberpunk Futures edited by Ann LeBlanc so many good stories in here! my favorite would probably be "a canyon of blood for the normalest man alive" by palimrya. the voice its in is so harsh and weird and fun, internet-ish in the best way. also really liked "syndical organization in revolutionary transition" by izzy wasserstein for is exploration of trans reproduction, and "the repossession of kevin's perfect hair" by lillian boyd is a great tone setter for the entire collection
A Shore Thing by Joanna Lowell, narrated by Ros Watt wow i have so many feelings. like. this is far from the best romance book in the world, i have read books that balanced character A's central conflict, and character B's central conflict, and the plot that puts them in contact, plus the side character romance happening in the background MUCH BETTER than this one does. a lot of the miscommunication/feelings-projecting that come from Muriel to spark conflict were physically painful for me. sometimes the way trans-ness was explained felt a bit too cookie-cutter politically correct to fit right with me but fuck. i loved Kit so much. a feministly-minded rakish dandy trans man artist in a historical romance. so my shit. targetted precisely and unerringly at me. i could cry. i'm like really glad this book exists, i'm glad Joanna Lowell wrote this in collaboration with her partner as a trans life and history consultant. well, i know now i need to put some more effort in finding more transmasc x woman romances to feed a need in my soul
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An Introduction
About A. Hello there! I'm Anna (now you know what the A. stands for). I'm a 30 something person that's previously self published two short stories and a novella. You can read more about them (and read 'em!) here. I'm currently finishing up the first book in my (darkish) YA fantasy series House of Moons (aka HoM).
I went back to school to get my Creative Writing degree and I'm finishing that up. While it's not the right choice for everyone, it's one of the best and kindest things I've done for myself.
When I'm not writing or studying, plotting how to build the best blanket/pillow fort (you are never too old to make a blanket/pillow fort), baking cookies or trying to master the art of bread. If I'm not doing those things, then I'm probably playing with some sort of animal, reading, or exploring the woods.
I'm very blessed to work in a bookstore. I absolutely love it. Not only do I get to help people get into reading again and introduce them to new authors, I get to work with amazing people who love books just as much as I do.
I'm hard of hearing (HoH) with my hearing aids and deaf without them. I'm learning ASL so that I can y'know, communicate. Also because it's fun and it makes me feel more connected to my culture. I love helping people learn about deaf/hohness so don't be afraid to ask me any questions!
"Ok, that's cool, but what do you write?"
Stuff. So. Much. Stuff. I'm a morbid soul, but I'm also a hopeful one. So I write darkly appealing stuff. I typically stick to fantasy, but toss in dark/horror elements.
My first short story "Roses for Cassandra" is about a stagehand that falls in love with a dancer. Victorian era vibes with a tinge of magic. There's a little darkness wedged in there too. I wrote it because I thought it was what people wanted to read, what I was supposed to write. While I don't think I would write it today, I'm glad I wrote it. It's brought happiness to a lot of people, and that's beautiful to me.
My Secrets of the Lion series (ongoing, currently on hold) is a historical fiction series (currently a short story and a novella), where I really chose to embrace the darkness. I also embraced my love of epistolary writing. Victorian era with secrets, letters, lions and shenanigans! I love my little Victorian era dorks. The novella, Of Secrets and Sound is the first time I wrote my disability into a story.
But my true love, the thing I am deeply passionate about is House of Moons. It's a YA fantasy series with dark elements in it, and the main character has the same sort of hearing loss I have. It's the book that I always wanted to read as a kid, (and as an adult), but I've never found a book with enough space for me. So I'm writing it. My biggest hope is that those who feel like outcasts will be able to find a bit of shelter in it.
"Cool! What is House of Moons about?"
Here, have a synopsis: Mark Featherguard should have it all. He's heir to the most powerful family of fire mages in the world and about to start high school at House of Moons, one of the most famous and prestigious magical schools in existance. To ice the proverbial cake, Mark and his best friend are going to be roommates.
Things would be going great if Mark wasn't plagued with nightmares of a world ending black phoenix. Or if his family wasn't one of the ones who lost their item of Close Power (which they were supposed to guard) years ago and now have to find it and claw their way back into their social standing in the magical community. Oh, and that roommate plan? That's not happening after all.
And then there's the problem of someone, or something, destroying magical schools around the world. Mark just wants to be able to change his hearing aid batteries and pass his classes in peace.
But it seems like the magical world, and his new found friends, might need him to do a little more than that...
TL;DR:
Anna
She/They
30 something because it's a good age to be!
I went back to school to get my degree in Creative Writing (minoring in business writing)...almost there!
I write a variety of fantasy stuff, often times tossing in horror elements
I like writing dark, but hopeful stuff (thus "an appealing darkness")
My main WIP is House of Moons: The Phoenix Mirror which is the first in an upper YA fantasy series.
Deaf/HoH #ownvoices writer because sharing is caring.
One of my back burner projects is a horror short story/screen play combo
Another back burner project is a horror short story collection
Another 'nother back burner project is a collection of short stories that go along with the HoM series.
So that's me! Welcome! As I like to say, my teeth are sharp, but I rarely bite. While I'm quite shy, I do love being tagged and asked things, so if you think something might tickle my fancy, or have a question of any sort, tag and ask away!
#writeblr intro#the writer talks#lolz it took me forever to do this XD#hom:tpm#hom book 1#hom:tpm synopsis#ownvoices
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What’s one of your favorite tropes that you haven’t written for (or haven’t written for in a while)? If you want, write a little snippet about how you’d do it now.
Hi @full-frontal-lotus! Hi, friendddddd! 😁
Ooooooh! That's a good one! Not so much a trope but I have been thinking recently about trying to branch out and try a slightly darker-toned series because I've recently been on a Fallout binge.
I mean, I write Naruto stuff. If I got a bit better at writing things like violence (fight scenes specifically) or slow-creeping dread, I could do a lot more mission-type stories, which would be cool to explore!
Once I get through my current story request queue (I'm so close! Kinda🫠), I plan on releasing the next two bingo cards. The segment below will be the prologue to a FalloutAU one.
A not-completed, only-mildly-edited snippet is below!
Thank you for such a cool and sweet ask! 🎆
Ao3 ✨ |Story Request Bingo Cards 📖 | WIP Game Always Open ✒️| Ko-Fi ☕| Reblog Blog 🟢
Fallout AU Series: Chapter 1 - Prologue: War Never Changes
Warnings: Fallout Alternative Universe. Bombs. War. Minor Character Death.
Iruka wrote the number of current dead on the board, far higher than the two others combined. He forced his grip to tighten around the chalk in his hand to finish writing the last of too many digits.
“So,” he forced a pause to collect himself, feeling everyone's gaze in his direction but focused solely on the writing on the board, “the number of years each war is decreasing, but the death count is rising. What does that tell you?”
No one gave him a reply, not that he genuinely expected one. The room is so quiet the slight thud of him replacing his stick of chalk, sounding like one of the bombs they all feared, erupting decimation through their street, had already started to rain down.
Shikaku gave Iruka a subtle nod when he discreetly met the man's eyes. He agreed with how he made his point.
“Iruka Sensei.”
It took him a head shake and a few rapid blinks to realise that Sakura had spoken up. She was such a well-behaved student. Never cursing, handing in her homework on time and constantly raising her hand when she asked a question, but Iruka could see both her hands were occupied, one in both of her fathers and the other being grabbed onto by her mother so tightly all six of their hands looked ghost white. Hanging on to each other like a lifeline
“Yes, Sakura?”
“You never answered Ino before. Do you think the bombs will drop? Do you-do you think the world will-?”
Her sentence abruptly stopped when she what looked like painfully bit into her lip and bowed her head, both her dotting parents wrapping her in a hug; Mrs Haruno’s soft motherly reassurances floated on the otherwise silent air of it being okay, of everything being fine, that there was no need to cry. All lies.
Several of his more skittish and empathetic students looked at him with that same pleading in their eyes that Sakura had in her voice before it shattered.
In his classroom with him at that moment were some of the village's most amazing individuals, as well as some of the most broken children.
Gai Maito adopted two children with whom he had no possible connection and raised them to be healthy and loved when they were both too young to remember their parents, who would never return from the front lines. Tenten and Lee gripped one of his hands.
Shikamaru looked at his army battle hardened father with a wisdom beyond his years. Iruka, knowing that while he didn’t study for his Math or English tests, he skipped class to read thick tombs of battle strategies and inner army working, knowing his lineage was a path laid out for him and an important one he planned on continuing willingly.
All around the room, parents and children shared heartbroken, frightened looks. The three siblings from the Sand exchanged worried looks that the war would never end, that they would never be able to return home.
The prominent shining glaze of Fu’s eyes and shaking of her shoulders as she hugged herself and silence from the three from Kumogakure scared that the new home they had found would follow the ones they had already lost under a wave of never-relenting gunshots and explosions that created mountains of bodies of their former family, friends and fellow.
If the Land of Fire were flattened in bomb fire, there would be nowhere to start home number three and no one to start it with.
Iruka was a humble history teacher. He wasn’t a warrior or a great intellectual, and on some days, he didn’t even have the everlasting optimism that Gai Maito had. At that moment, he only had the ability to be honest with the children, nearly young adults, in front of him.
“I can’t see the future, Sakura,” he admitted, his voice barely holding together, only making the girl's green eyes cloud with more tears, “I can only tell you what history tells me. And it tells me war is violent-”
He turned back to the board, snatched the chalk back up, leaning into the spike of anger the conversation created to push on, and underlined the death toll for the First World War.
“devastating-”
He underlined the death toll for the Second World War.
“And-”
Finally, he underlined the death count for the Sound War before turning around.
“Continuous.”
#Spells Fallout AU#iruka umino#umino iruka#sakura haruno#haruno sakura#wip#thanks for the sweet ask!#❤️❤️❤️
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Fanfic Writing - New Year's Resolutions
Hey fellow fic writers <3 I know it's still not the end of the year, but it's December and I'm impatient, so I would like to share with you my writing plans for 2024 and ask you to do so too, if you want to. My Ao3 for convenience is Yuujeong, where you can check out all the things I'll be referencing below. So, in my case, I *hope* that in 2024, I will be able to: - write at least one more chapter for "Little House on the Hill" (I make no promises though, I've kind of moved on from that fic, even though it holds such a special place in my heart) - write and post the third installment of my "Heroes and Villains" series (I have neglected this one for months but I hadn't figured out this fic completely up until last month, when the full picture of it came to me and I managed to get unstuck. Hopefully, next year you'll be reading it) - finish and post the sequel to "Broken Vows" (istg I haven't forgotten it, on the contrary, it haunts my dreams, it's just such a tricky little shit that I ended up asking for help about it. It'll be in such capable hands now, and I hope people will enjoy reading it) - continue my Kim&Pete fic series (the second installment won't be too difficult to write - she says, as if she doesn't need at least a month for a fic to be written and edited before posting - but the one after that will be multi-chaptered and looong, so I'll need time and a lot of effort to pull it off. 2024 *will* see this series written and concluded though, I swear) - ARMPETE!! (I have a fic I've been meaning to work on for months now and it'll probably end up not being multi-chaptered as I intended at first. Unfortunately the inspiration for more than that has run out BUT I will enrich the fandom with this rarepair or so help me-) - write at least one BostonNick fic (there's one that's the most likely to be written, which is about Boston getting a haircut and I think it's cute and would love to explore the idea. Also, a Nick character study fic because my boy deserves the world) - write smut! Yep, in 2024 we're getting horny baby (prepare for some VP somno shenanigans, because there's not nearly enough of it in the fandom and that's a huge shame) - participate in at least one fandom event (the kpts Big Bang, while stressful for multiple reasons, was incredibly fun and I would love to do something like that again - same goes for things like Secret Santa events which are cool too) - try writing fics for some of my other favorite shows besides kpts (kpts was unique in the way only TMNT has been for me before, which was it giving me so many brainworms I needed to express my self artistically in the only way I was capable. In 2024, I would like to revisit some of my favorite shows and figure out if the same can happen with them too) I probably have more to share but I'll leave it here. Now, for the tags, I'd love to see the plans of @wisteria-daydreamer @wretchedamaranth @xxhappy-chickenxx @coleslaww @raksh-writes @mightymightygnomepriest @lu-sn @suzteel @fleet-off @justanothervariant @theoldastronomer @dual-desires @emberfaye @tsttoain @thisautistic and ALL the other people who are escaping my mind rn but their works are equally important! Please, if you want to share your writing plans, do so and tag me, I'd love to see them <3
#decided to make a post like this because I really want us all to talk about what we're planning writing-wise#I find it exciting and super interesting#sorry to those who have never interacted with me but still got tagged I come in peace#I'm just interested to know what beautiful stories you will be preparing and posting next year <3#fanfic writing#ask game
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ohhh for the wips: i would love to hear about light catcher :D
Thank you for your interest!! This story has actually been rotating in my head for a while.
Light Catcher will most likely be the next Dishonored thing I finish. It's a single-chapter story revolving around the invention of the silvergraph by none other than Kirin Jindosh around 1840. It's part of a series of writings about science in the world of Dishonored, but it can completely be read without prior knowledge of the other stories!
It stems a little from personal experience, too. Around the time I discovered Dishonored 2, I was following a class about the history of photography. Our lecturer started with the basics, so, the invention of the process itself and how it worked from a technical point of view, before considering the artistic debates it stirred. It made me think of the silvergraph and the way it inhabits various personal or official spaces in the game.
I don't think it will delve too deeply into technicalities, because it'd be a bit boring to read. Rather, I'd like to explore Jindosh's motivations and a bit of his life before DH2 through this particular topic. (I can't help it I'm a nerd for character and lore study)
And as a bonus, here's a little snippet:
"A glass of wine is suddenly pushed into his hand, and he glances up at the face of a young maid. Too white to be a local, and with a pretty crown of ginger hair; Morleyan. He traces the curve of her cheekbones with observant eyes, notices freckles and red circles under her gaze, and part of him will remember that Lady F— makes her servants cry. The rest; the majority will forget it, dismiss it as unimportant next to the march of progress and the age of enlightenment he seeks to lead.
When he turns his head away from her, it’s as if she does not exist anymore.
His peripheral vision catches Luca’s grin, and he imagines what the Duke’s son would like him to do— to become a mirror image of him, a hound without instinct, trained only to detect the scents of costly perfumes and pent-up desires. He’d want him to woo their hostess with naught but a smile and a few well-placed words, regular as the ticking of clockwork. Kirin can almost taste the sea breeze on her skin and a hint of brandy on her breath. They are sitting too far apart for this, and still; all of it and more is reflected in the upturn of the aristocrat’s lips.
Something makes his stomach lurch in disgust at the thought. His dark eyes scan her face in search for answers, and they find nothing; nothing there to indicate interest or intelligence. She’d take the scalpel in her flesh as a mercy, once freed from the constraints of a world she fails to grasp between her delicate fingers. Those, too, he’d like to see stripped. Bleached white and clicking together; he longs to hear the soothing song of skeletal remains again.
The Academicians destroyed his music machine. Perhaps, if he could recreate it — infuse it with yet more perfection and raw authenticity — then the sound of her voice would no longer screech inside his skull like nails on a chalkboard."
#ask answered#dishonored#dishonored fanfic#kirin jindosh#thanks for the ask!#i know the snippet has little to do with the actual main topic of the fic buuuut#i think it's interesting to explore the way Jindosh became an esteemed member of society after being expelled from the Academy#it was most definitely an unpleasant process made of compromises and perhaps a bit of self deprecation#he despises them more than they could ever despise him! and yet he has to bow before them as if he shouldn't consider himself superior#this kind of awakens a certain cruelty within him that's not entirely gratuitous but rather the product of a life of abuse#ANYWAY thank you again!
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