#I love devotion that corrupts

[scorchedcandy]

How many times have you seen almost the face of someone you loved most

and deemed it worthy only of destruction for the crime of being almost

[h-doodles]

And our love is here || A webweave studying MC's part in Miranda/MC themes :)

[dreamingofthewild]

I feel like people often misunderstand why Gale chooses to stay behind after you side with the goblins. And to an extent, why he also stands by a romanced character in their evil ending.

Gale choosing to stay doesn’t imply that he is easily corruptible, secretly evil, or weak-willed. Given the limited time he has to find a secluded spot to avoid collateral damage from the orb when ceremorphosis hits, he doesn't really have much of a choice but to think about survival.

Gale has been living with a death sentence due to the orb, one he has been trying to mitigate, so he has had a long time to think about his mortality and he doesn't want to die—especially not while he still hasn't been forgiven by Mystra. His decision to stay with the party, even under morally dubious circumstances, underscores his pragmatic approach to survival rather than an inherent inclination towards evil.

Gale is undeniably drawn to powerful individuals. However, beneath this attraction lies his tendency to see the good in people and rationalise things.

Gale’s capacity for love is profound and intense. His love isn't just affection; it's worship. His romantic devotion is incredibly passionate yet self-destructive. It places Gale in a position where he might find himself in an unequal power dynamic again without him realising it.

His tendency for romantic idealism can prevent him from recognizing toxic patterns. Ultimately, Gale’s decision to stay with such powerful and potentially evil figures is not about compromising his morals but rather about being blinded by love, not wanting to give it up easily and a deep understanding of the complexities of human nature.

In the events of the game he still doesn't fully recognise that his relationship with Mystra is problematic. It stands that he might not realise that he is getting himself into a relationship with another unequal power dynamic.

It might also be that he doesn't want to abandon his loved one, just like Mystra abandoned him. This doesn’t mean that he is going to compromise his own morals, however. He chooses to support and stand by the person he loves, as long as they stand by him. He will challenge them, but he will act with the empathy and consideration that Mystra never afforded him. Once again, his own experience and desire for agency are most likely guiding his choices.

His devotion and hope are beautiful yet tragic, making him a deeply romantic character prone to repeating past mistakes in his quest for love and acceptance.

He does have a darker side which is attracted to knowledge and power. But it's easy to forgot that his intentions are never immoral or malicious.

When it comes to love, knowledge, and power, Gale has a significant blind spot (moral blindness maybe?). Ultimately, he just wants to love, live, and be accepted for who he is, rather than what he can do for others. His desire for happiness and to see his loved ones happy often drives his decisions. As well as a confidence in his own abilities and ability to handle situations.

So, yes, Gale might stay with his romanced partner even in an evil ending. But this doesn't mean he is evil himself. It simply reflects his humanity and the depths of his devotion. Strong emotional bonds can lead someone to remain involved with a deeply flawed and morally ambiguous partner.

It will be a toxic romance, but Gale's willingness to stay with a morally ambiguous love interest reflects not in his morality but in his approach to love. If he'd had a normal relationship and didn't have the orb then his reactions might have been different.

[itsalwaysforyou]

hold me together.

kenny ortega, descendants 2 / holly black, red glove / nicole homer, underbelly / ada limon, a new national anthem / k c cramm, christmas eve forever / kenny ortega, descendants 3 / the crane wives, curses / silas denver melvin, let dead dogs lie / natalie wee, least of all

[bookwyrminspiration]

what do you mean you don't understand cannibalism as erotic devotion. what do you mean you don't care that god is a jealous lover and we make a holy temple of our bedroom with our carnal desire. babe please

[venic-of-paper]

Hineni, my Lord

The Hebrew word Hineni (הנני), means “Here I am!” but it is a statement more than a simple "Here!" It is a way of expressing readiness to give oneself, an offer of total availability. In the Book of Isaiah, the prophet eagerly responds to God's call: And I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ Then I said, ‘Here am I (hineni)! Send me.’ Isaiah 6:8 When God tested Abraham's faith, asking him to sacrifice his only son he answered. Some time later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called. “Yes,” he replied. “Hineni! (Here I am)”. Genesis 22:1, NLT. The phrase often appears in pivotal moments when profound change is about to take place in the lives of those responding to God.

The Lamb takes off their collar, offering their neck, bowing before the One Who Waits, ready to give their life for his freedom.

[shadystranger]

"The fandom unnecessarily villainizes sam and dean for choosing each other over strangers when it's literally how humans work" great critic but I actually think the fandom (those interested in the brothers' relationship) are reacting to it how they're meant to: in a negative light.

To trace things back, yes, it's a given, kind of an innate human nature to respond in situations by prioritizing the people you know over ones you don't. That is true. On an individual basis, each person would do this, I would do this, and anyone'd be crazy to villainize this act on my and your part. But sam and dean do it, and it's painted in this hyperbolic moral degeneration light both by the narrative (we could argue) and by the fandom. Because see, sam and dean are a little different than you and me.

They're positioned in their world as tragic heroes who, given the nature of their job, are expectedly deprived of things the normal person could enjoy. They don't get to lead normal lives, they don't die by natural causes, and they must navigate through life bearing more than they must know with soul-crippling responsibilities. "We're the people who save the world," sam and dean don't spend much time before they assume the token role of saviors in their world. Along with that role comes even more imposed limitations.

They are more viscerally equipped and knowledgeable. They have access to things randoms could never dream of having (like death and god). The more you know, the worse you sleep and comes with the mere knowing is the obligation to do something about it. Someone ignorant to the whole ordeal simply doesn't have to answer to it.

Basically, they're soldiers. Imagine samdean reporting for duty, they preserve peace of the public and their blind following to decision moral rightness is taken for granted. It comes with the job. You don't get to make ill-advised progress in your self-interest as a person (sth random ppl can enjoy) when several lives are at stake.

At some point, sam and dean themselves are metaphoricaly acting Gods: people's survival or death depends on them. Sometimes, it's a city's worth of population. Other times, it's the entire world. Their right to free-decision making stops depending only on its virtuous intent and starts being consequential. They're elevated to adhere to higher standards and criteria than normal people are held to.

The rightness of their actions will not be determined among a set of feasible options but instead assessed by whether they chose the option with the best consequences. Or not. The main decision-making factor for "heroes" like them should be putting the general welfare at its fore interest. Not one individual's. Especially not if it's one individual's.

When dean and/or sam sacrifices someone stranger to save his brother, it's a subjective good call I can relate and see myself in it, but given their position within the universe it's irresponsible and far objectively wrong; especially if at the cost of saving his brother, several others suffered.

There are criteria for judging the actions of the pivotal role they uphold. From a subjective moralness standpoint, sam and dean are only humans, and they can be cut some slack or even not at all villainized for doing what their instinct demands. On the other hand, moral objectiveness influenced by the world-setting's structure deems the goodness or badness of how they behave based on the particular consequences of their given actions and whether said actions affected people in good or bad ways. If sam and dean did something that brought peace to the world on the whole and reduced suffering, it's good and logical, whereas if said action caused suffering and threatened peace, it's bad.

dean grudgingly accepting sam’s plan to overtake lucifer even though it meant losing his brother is the objectively morally good choice to make. He had to sacrifice his precious family, but he ultimately was rational and responsible enough to know his brother's life is not a fair trade-off to millions. both sam and dean here act in accordance with their positions within the story/world: they're heroes. But by S8 dean doesn't let sam make a similar sacrifice. He prioritizes sam's life over the many who'll be possessed and will either kill others or be killed themselves. sam releases a world-ending evil to save his brother, and later on, both take turns facilitating the guy who practically promises them an apocalypse to once again save each other.

"The good of any one person is no more important from the point of view of the universe than the good of any other." sam or dean's lives aren't more important than someone else's, this was a point so base sam felt the need to make because it needed to be addressed, their lack of changing anything about it is another matter. Thing is they're the world's designated saviors be it by choice or not, the narrative views them as the fact, they're expected to value the well-being of all individuals equally, regardless of their personal closeness. Imagine a firefighter postponing saving you because someone he knows is more important even when the situation for them is not as grave as you. It'd be unethical and worthy of condemnation because in this line of work, and in general when your job is saving people and work towards the greater good, you do it indiscriminately, you don't get to privilege the well-being of yourself or your family over the well-being of distant others.

sam and dean hold a rightful consequentialist commitment to their actions being as good as possible: the basis on which one outcome is better than another is only if it contains a greater sum total of people's betterment. No impartiality.

Yes, it's his brother, his only family, but it's still morally wrong to prioritize him (in their case). Let's use a patriotism allegory. Imagine a general of a losing army. He catches wind of the enemy's secret bases or is exposed to confidentials enough to turn the tide to his side. However, he finds out his family at home is being held hostage. The moment he reveals what he knows, they get killed. A man has to save his family it's the most basic human instinct, yes, but you'd think it's irredeemably wrong for him to prioritize his family in this case. You'd think he doesn't even have the right to choose when it's a choice between two insignificant people and the entire country being infiltrated and invaded, with the deaths of million soldiers and citizens. It's not even a choosing matter. sam and dean are the general in this scenario, and instead of the country being at stake, it's sometimes the entire population they're throwing to the fire for each other. Anyone'd think it's messed up. You're supposed to.

There is a good reason to save your family (brother) over a stranger (or two, or hundred or million); but labeling both actions as right would risk ignoring the important moral difference between the two. And we need to draw an account of what a hero is obliged to do in order to meet minimal moral standards. sam and dean's constant moral failure to meet such standard despite their role in their universe paints them as flawed, sometimes as the story's designated antichrist.

Their ceaseless prioritizing of themselves marks their moral debauchery and decline as heroes. they get away with not fulfilling their obligations that are thrust upon them by design, they're using a cheat code acting not how they're supposed to and that's the characters/narrarive's grip with them. I don't blame corbin for what he did, while It’s extremely wrong that he tried killing sam, it was a call for survival. Your savior normally doesn’t come with conditions. He was faced with an oddity from the typical rescue mission. And he did what he had to ensure the more number of people survives. We sympathize with sam and dean, so we criminalize corbin immediately and side with dean. We're swept by emotions and our judgment is clouded you could say but from a utility standpoint, dean's decision to stay with a dying sam would've lead to four people's death, or three and one heavily wounded meanwhile corbin's leads to three people's survival and the loss of one. With corbin, more lives are saved, with one unfortunate but necessary sacrifice. Morally and objectively, corbin was more right in choking sam than dean was in staying.

[storywestistrash]

look at my emo haiku i had to write for my creative writing class

[nelyoslegalteam]

hello today i bring Dracula Thoughts bc this is my first dracula daily and i just saw your tags on the mae vs dracula post and just. yeah.

but also I want to add that not only is Mae roughly the same genre as jonathan, he's an incredibly powerful character in the same genre as jonathan. he's taller and older and stronger than dracula. he literally survived 30 years of thangorodrim. the only thing that can kill him is himself. the only thing that can corrupt him is his own decisions.

so from the start there's not much dracula can do to intimidate/hurt him. (also since elves don't really need to sleep it's not like drac can sneak up on him)

and then, if this is post-Oath mae, well. his most memorable action as high king was to literally false surrender and then bring the whole army to kill melkor. obviously it didn't work but false surrender is iirc a violation of the geneva convention. that is a war crime. he's willing to go to such lengths to protect his brothers and he has the resources and skills to do so. jonathan is willing to be like "i will face god and walk backwards into hell" for his loved ones. maedhros is able to say "i will face god and stab him in the face, and then walk backwards into the everlasting darkness" for his loved ones. in fact he did exactly that with the raid on eonwe's camp.

like once he realizes what drac's up to? if drac starts endangering people he cares about? then the story becomes the epitome of "im not locked in here with you, YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME" and i'm pretty sure dracula is the victim at that point.

mae is scary because he's willing to do literally anything to protect the people he loves and he is fully capable of doing so (and making it everyone else's problem in the process).

first of all welcome to dracula daily!! i am unhinged here!!! if you are at all a podcasts person i cannot recommend re: dracula highly ENOUGH. PLEASE listen along the entire cast and crew are utterly fantastic and it’s just such a wonderful way to experience dracula the only way i can sell it with all the full force of the utter love i have for it behind the sales pitch is to just start shaking people frantically and demanding that they listen so just. trust me on this one okay.

second of all you’re SO right. somehow my biggest takeaway from this is that of ALL the things maedhros has done that are potentially considered to be war crimes (many), not once have i fucking seen anyone point out that false surrender should technically be on that list alakhdhdghhfhfnfnfnfnfm????????

but no actually. you’re right. it’s not EVEN a contest. and maybe i WANT to see maedhros fuck dracula up incredibly violently. maybe he SHOULD do this. as a treat.

[azuresquirrel]

The gif from that Mercury witch show has tempted me. What service is it on? 👀 Want to try and sell it any more on your blog cause I'd love to hear it. Ngl, 'toxic milfs' is very promising 😂😂

only saying its on Crunchyroll to cover my ass, but since the whole thing of them acquiring Funimation and other competitors, price gouging, now just purging titles from their services right after said price gouging, I will suggest that most places you can find anime online for a *wink* discount *wink* you can easily find Witch From Mercury on there.

real reason I'm answering is to make sure that the first episode is you watch is "episode zero" - it was an episode released a few months before the "official" premiere of the show but it fully is the actual First Episode of the show - if you miss it things will get REAL confusing.

it continues the fine tradition of Gundam series ultimately being about how WAR IS BAD and ECONOMICS SUPPORTING WAR IS BAD and does so in a way that I think resonates with people now more easily than 70s Gundam with its modern sensibilities. While it is Lesbian Gundam, which is what drew me to it first, it is also more than that. Season two is clear that production/episode order messed with the storytelling plans and comes off more rushed but when it hits it HITS.

and let me tell you, that MILF sure IS toxic

[harleyacoincidence]

Writing Share Tag Game

I was tagged by @illarian-rambling to share some of my writing from one of my WIPs.

Tagging (with no pressure): @galactic-mystics-writes @dyrewrites @the-down-upside-finch @cafeforwriters @the-ellia-west and anyone who would like to join!

Here's another snippet from LCFL (can you tell which of my WIPs is my favourite?), which serves as the prelude for a fight between a child and a god who has beef with her:

The moon and the stars shone clearly in the night sky, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling of premonition. The wind brushed by, begging me not to fall asleep. I had been having nightmares for a long while, yet something told me that this next one wouldn’t be what I was used to in the slightest. I tried to steady my breath, preparing to pull my first all-nighter since sophomore year of high school. I had forgotten how difficult staying up for an entire night had been. I’d only done it once, mostly because of a history test I had forgotten to study for. It had only been about half an hour, and I was already exhausted. My eyelids were ten times heavier than normal, and my entire body felt like it was half submerged in some sort of jelly. Sleep was a warrior, and I was losing the battle. Little did I know that the war against such a simple bodily need wouldn’t be the only one I’d have to fight that night. Without warning, I noticed that the celestial objects that had once inhabited the sky were gone. It immediately dawned on me that something was terribly wrong. Things like that don’t just disappear within a moment’s notice. The next thing I knew, I was being sucked through some sort of vortex. I screamed as I fell, then within a few seconds landed on a patch of well-kept grass. The vortex above me, which I discovered to be purple, promptly closed. I was met with a view that certainly commanded attention. Before me was the most magnificent fortress I’d ever seen. It reminded me of a Scottish castle I’d seen in a textbook once. And that, dear reader, was the worst thing it could have possibly been. I would rather see the apocalypse occurring right before my very eyes than that. There was only one reason I’d see buildings like this, and I’d stolen something from him. He watched me do it, of course he was angry! I had been so scared when I’d done it, but I had to. He wasn’t himself anymore. He was angry, vengeful. I couldn’t let him keep such a weapon in good conscience. I clutched my his the sword tightly. It was my lifeline. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make do without it. If he could warp my imagination and control time itself, this was more than just another nightmare. I wished Hemlock was there. Surely he could do something about my situation. He always knows what to do. With a flash of purple light, he appeared in the distance, sword in hand. I felt my chest tighten uncomfortably, like the first time I had tried to put on a lifejacket, and forgot to adjust it. I felt my hands begin to shake, and I couldn’t stop them no matter how much I squeezed them around the sword. I stayed frozen as he made his slow approach, moving as if he was floating just over the ground. His blade glinted as he drew closer, about fifty feet away from my position. Every part of me screamed to run, but my legs just wouldn’t. I was forced to watch his agonizing stride, knowing he was merely delaying my inevitable demise. I allowed myself a shaky inhale as I glanced down at the weapon in my hand. It had changed miraculously within just a few moments. A live rose had grown on the rain guard, or chappe, as I had heard it called, with a thorny vine wrapping around the hilt and curling around the tip. The vine shifted as I gripped it differently, as if accommodating my hand so it wouldn’t have thorns stuck in it. How thoughtful of the sword.

[sashisuse]

there is fire in my veins.

[victorfrankensteinapologist]

Elizabeth Lavenza has more personality and character in the actual text of Frankenstein (1818) then Henry Clerval but everyone ignores this because she committed the mortal sin of Being A Woman

[devotion-that-corrupts]

okay i've calmed down a little. so, i was screaming about the dialogue you get with gale after he talks to mystra. the entirety of it, really, but especially this turn of phase.

this man was tailored to destroy me. if i. if i had a nickel for every time my favorite character asked my oc to help him achieve godlike power so that he could create a better world, i'd have two nickels. WHICH ISN'T A LOT BUT IT'S WEIRD THAT IT HAPPENED TWICE.

[vagueiish]

it'd take a very specific set of (non-game canon/personal oli backstory, so it'd never actually happen in a playthrough except for Science) events happening in a very short, very specific time frame, but there's a very slim chance oli would help astarion ascend

it's a sad, intensely selfish moment of 'if i don't give him what he's asking of me, he'll leave me, and i don't want to lose this' for an otherwise selfless person. the lives of the spawn, well, he's often been told -- from an early age -- that he's ruined lives by virtue of existing (which is why he must give everything of himself to others, to make up for that.) theirs are just more lives he's ruined. of course, he'll beat himself to shit over it over the years until he becomes numb to it, but still...

but. anyway. that's just a preface to me saying that, holy shit, i think oli with an ascended!astarion would become some kind of criminal mastermind, lmao.

astarion's manipulative one-on-one and shit, sure, but the guy barely thinks even half a step ahead. even with the power he wields, he's not gonna rule shit if he just runs on impulse. oliver's only real sense of worth comes from being useful to people, and astarion wants to rule the world and cover it with darkness, etc.... so he'd take it upon himself to become the 'brains' of the operation, even if he maybe doesn't do so consciously or deliberately?

i don't know. this is a half-developed thought and i'm still trying to pin down oli's character in this universe anyway, lol, so who knows

[tiredassmage]

can we hear more about in dreams, hopes to die... 👉👈 those lines are so tasty..

CHOMPING AT THE BIT, AYE AYE CAPTAIN!!!!

Would you believe me if I reveal that this snippet is from the same piece? It's obviously an overall not very good time kind of piece, so I felt a tiny bit bad about it for once and decided to throw Tyr a bone. Valkorian and Tyr's own conga line of bad times couldn't be the only thing in five years worth of dreams, I figured, lol.

Also, that very scene is where the banger In the dark, it’s easier to hide and easier to tell the truth came from, lol.

Don't get too excited though because that's... very short. And also it's mentally set to Eyelids by PVRIS, so uh. It still punches me in the face.

Eventually I'll hopefully throw him another bone and give him and Theron's time on Rishi or Yavin IV a little pass because I'd like to think Theron's at least a little right and something came up. And stars know Tyr needs a fuckin' break, good gods almighty anlkfdnafldsf. Says she who continues to put that man in Situation after Situation after Situa-

And it was very hard to stop at just the first line for that initial post because the three lines that follow it are the meat and potatoes of what is currently the opening sequence of what I hope will eventually be a coherent fic. Or at least kinda coherent. It's still a very nebulous piece and I kinda like that, so I might not really do much more setup because it seems fitting that there wouldn't be a lot of setup and transition in something like the carbonite dreams era.

And, perhaps unsurprisingly given the nature of the setup of that chapter, but a lot of these scenes flirt with the concept of death. Tyr's dangerous dedication to "finishing the job" isn't anything new to those of us who have been here a while, lol, but this is a good character study piece if you're newer to my favorite blorbo, though it's an undeniably heavy one and obviously a bit fucky and nebulous by nature.

Also, fair warning, yes I'm giving you lines, but also I am going to give you a ramble and a half about Tyr lore because this is the piece I'm stuffing some juicy tick-tock workings into because I realized it was good for that and I love my boy so much, he's so fucked up. I love him though.

Anyway, I teased, so the next three lines of that scene, as foretold beneath the cut:

At first, it’s a firing squad. Mud cakes their boots and the rain pelts heavy on worn, drawn faces.

Tyr pushes to his feet unsteadily. A flash of lighting breaks overhead, glancing off of leveled blasters and hollowed eyes.

It will end as it should: without a soul remembering his name. He’d prefer it that way.

Okay, so... this is also not necessarily a piece I intended to write, but I realized there is... almost no better place to do a deep dive into some of the things that tick inside of Tyr that maybe aren't best portrayed in dialogue alone. This also wasn't meant to be in present tense, but it didn't feel right in past, so I ended up caving and that's... been a theme of the week, I guess, lol.

This is also like. I always chuckle a bit in that scene from Visions in the Dark later where Valkorian threatens you to meet his challenge and grow stronger or die alone and unremembered because wouldn't that just be ideal for a former Cipher. Wasn't that how the story was supposed to end? He didn't ask for your bullshit, grandpa.

There's currently two other scenes I have - they're all relatively short as I try to keep with that sort of drifting feeling. But the other one that might [Large Eyes Emoji] be of... relevant interest...

What’s been done has already been done. It doesn’t matter what it was. Maybe it won’t matter to anyone else.

Because it’s going to end here and now. Such were the decrees of the Sith - of the Empire.

Absolutes.

It matters to him that he tried. This is one of the kinder ways this could go - quietly, without the fanfare of blood on his teeth and a fire in his eyes.

“For what it’s worth, sir?” Nine exhales long and slow as he closes his eyes. “I’ve always admired you… You did your best.”

Finally.

No.

More.

Running.

“But I’m not going back.” The old man’s one of the few he could ever hope to ask this final favor. “Finish this - what we started.”

The Minister of Intelligence pulls the trigger.

It’s over before Tyr feels the ground beneath him.

Also topical given the "are others concerned about their sleep schedule" tag post reblogged earlier today, lol, and the idea of chronic nightmares. That Tyr and I haven't talked about. To each other. Or the world. Possibly not with the people he cares about, either. I'm sure Theron knows nebulously that he can have some troubled sleep - you don't share a bed with someone and not notice how consistently they have trouble falling or staying asleep.

But I think the fuckiest part of the whole Castellan Restraints period for Tyr is how he doesn't want to let the old man down. The Minister is more a father figure in Tyr's eyes than his own father, quite honestly [Tyr has a... kind of non-existant relationship with his entire family, unfortunately - and it's not because he went into Intelligence], and there's absolutely a part of that dynamic that is mentor and protégé.

And it's important to me that he sees this scenario with the Minister and not Shara - at least in Chapter Two, where it first haunts his nightmares with some consistency. Because I made a conscious choice in Shara knowing as Keeper about his Restraints - not because that ever comes up in-game, but because it adds something very crunchy to their already doomed narrative. And the background to that decision is that I decided it's... the kind of silent acknowledgement that the Minister can afford to give of their more intimate relationship. It's damage control, mitigation. With a heavy heart I imagine he tells her this in private, off the record, because Nine was her Cipher. And both of them still hold him in high regard.

Nine's given a possibly unusually loose leash to pursue the SIS investigation because of the Minister and Keeper's word; Watcher Three mentions this in broad strokes when he questions you about the blackout in records.

Anyway, the point to me mentioning this is actually that Tyr makes a very conscious effort to not think about this in the midst of the Restraints causing problems. He's reluctant enough to cede that he should hold the Minister responsible for this gross violation of his privacy and trust, but he's even more reluctant to give that the woman he loves has any knowledge or hand in the process - unwittingly or, especially, wittingly. Ultimately, he stubbornly doesn't hold them responsible. It hurts less to place the blame elsewhere. And he never loses the inescapable nostalgic kick to go home in the sense of the old paradigm - him and Keeper and the Minister.

He gave them everything.

And there's something in here about his regret at not being able to say all of this respect in better words or more directly. There's that acknowledgement that there's one person he trusts to understand why this was his breaking point. And, ultimately, there's the acceptance of the likelihood that none of this is going to end well, that he's living on borrowed time stolen from fate or destiny, or hell, maybe the Force. Tyr doesn't give a whole lot to whatever higher powers might be out there - relying on them hasn't ever saved him and he doesn't expect it to.

It makes it very interesting to watch him knowingly and willingly lie about the Black Codex after he lets Ardun walk with it and promises to double for the SIS. In a way, he's committing the greatest failure and throwing away everything the Minister has fought so hard with him to maintain and keep, especially when both of them have spoken of ideals instead of goals, etc. But it's necessary. It's what's best for Tyr, mentally, at that point. And even one of the figures he loves and respects the most can't override that desperate intrinsic need to fight for himself. The old man is, after all, one of the largest advocates of it throughout his career as Nine.

And, I suppose speaking of the nostalgia for Intelligence, my favorite set of lines from the final scene so far:

She’s sobbing against his shoulder. Dust and blood stain an almost unfamiliar uniform - he hasn’t worn uniform on Dromund Kaas in months, maybe years…

Everything’s been such a blur since Intelligence was disbanded…

so YEAH. I uh. I have a lot of feelings and this is where I'm sniffling and sobbing and word vomiting them into one doc but in story format, I suppose, lol.

Also completely unrelated to this particular fic but I am. Still thinking so intently about Eight x Tyr thoughts. They're now living rent free in my head and all of this.... absolute devotion stuff... hrhrhghghghghghghghrhhg. Brain vibrates because this is obviously all related to it because of the few people who could ever possibly understand any part of this series of events and feelings, it'd be another Cipher.

Tyr really does mourn Intelligence like... ghhghg. I'm unwell about it. He gave everything to it and its success. He doesn't regret it. The SIS investigation and the following fall of Imperial Intelligence were some of the worst fucking years of his life and it's destroyed him, really. He's living in and with the ruins like a bombed out city. It destroyed his everything and he'd almost gladly let it finish the job and destroy him to finally get his retribution. And he'd just as gladly let love destroy it all and rebuild it from the rubble when he has the right person beside him. Something something doesn't realize that he doesn't want or need to continue that destruction, he just needs fucking... idk validation or something. Acceptance. Acknowledgement. And then they can work on what "okay" looks like in the aftermath. He needs to be just as responsible for someone else's "okay" to even begin figuring out what the hell it looks like for him. hOUgh anyway.

I'm fucking normal about Cipher Nine, obviously. Thanks for comin' to my TED Talk.