#I love clickhole

[nottodayjustin]

April 1st 2024 best hockey tweet(s) of the day

[cyberdragoninfinity]

‘nother yugioh + clickhole edit. i love you battle city blimp

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Someone linked the "Give Me One Good Reason Why I Shouldn’t Punch Your Face In" Clickhole quiz in the Discord, and I matched up reasons to match up with the M6 & Courtiers:

Asra: "When you move in to punch me, I’m going to hold a bucket up in front of my face, and then your fist will just punch the inside of an empty bucket and you’ll look ridiculous."

Nadia: "I’m so underdressed."

Julian: "I’d rather just do it myself."

Muriel: "I’m the last of my species."

Portia: "Wounding me emotionally would pay much higher dividends."

Lucio: "It would be way too rewarding."

Valerius: "I’m going to see the Liberty Bell for the first time later today, and I want everything to be perfect."

Vlastomil: "The scheduled walloping time isn’t for another half hour."

Volta: "I’ll open my mouth and swallow your whole arm."

Vulgora: "My face is filled with boiling hot water that will shoot out everywhere if you hit me."

Valdemar: "My teeth are not yet ready to be harvested."

I loved every bit of this read, thank you so much!! :D

I do especially enjoy the vaguely threatening ones XD

[adodalinil]

where the FUCK is that post that i can't find but love more than life itself that's like. a clickhole screenshot or something. of an article title saying something like "area man preserving his virginity so he can lose it in a threesome". I NEED THIS

[gothicprep]

i'm impressed that clickhole hasn't declined in quality over the years at all, even though the onion has. back during the kendrick/drake beef, they published a summary of it where drake's diss at kendrick was america ferrara's monologue from "barbie" and kendrick's diss at drake waas lizzo's "truth hurts" in russian.

iirc the media company who owns the onion & clickhole hired ben collins as their ceo. if that name is unfamiliar to you, collins worked as a journalist for nbc who primarily focused on misinformation, conspiracy theories in the public consciousness, etc. he wasn't particularly good at it, imo. he also did something very strange after the mass shooting at the gay bar in colorado springs a few years back where he cried on television about how it was his fault. somehow. he didn't lose a loved on in this or anything. it was just... deranged.

like, why would you hire that guy to run your comedy media network? i guess that's funny if you squint, but in a dark way that makes you sort of want the world to end tomorrow.

[clueless1995]

i love my mutuals so much i want to be like that clickhole headline about emo kids sitting on each other’s laps and snickering about something nobody else cares about

[preeeow]

i 100% thought that miriam margolyes telling hp fans to "get over it" was a clickhole quote or something but its REAL i love her so so much

[cavehags]

i love you clickhole

[edwardalbee]

i feel like 16 year old me who loved clickhole and neon genesis evangelion... would have eaten up candide.

[lacefedora]

cactus 🌵

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

uh last night I was l researching poetry contests. Sort of fell into a clickhole for it. Learned about those a little bit.

I haven't written poetry in a long time but I used to be pretty good at it and some recent events had me writing a little of it again. I thought of poetry contests and thought maybe I could channel it into something good. But probably nor terribly feasible lol

Oh! in a more fun note: I also learned how to make Vietnamese coffee which I fucking love so that was really awesome.

If anyone else wants to send me these asks I could use the distraction. The list is HERE

[kvothes]

im so lost on the bigolas dickolas situation dawg. i was under the impression that the authors of how to lose the time war wrote a clickhole article reviewing offbrand trigun pornography or something. i don’t know. but thank goodness for tweeter, bigolas dickolas fr

lmaoooo could you imagine. nah, just a fan account yelling about a book they love, and then a nice snowball effect from there. tried to explain this saga to an extremely offline friend tonight and that was a Time

[wheelie-butch]

I need everyone to take this quiz which is the greatest piece of creative writing of all time in order for everyone to understand what I'm referencing when i say 'in it for the love of the game'

[inganikki]

https://clickhole.com/5-times-he-come-in-looking-all-huge-with-his-jiggling-f-1840489605/

This is my favourite, idk, creative writing? from ClickHole and I finally managed to find it again. it's utterly nonsensical and i love the image of the jewels and the stink and his huge jiggling face (and the fact that he did it five times!)

[some-eldritch-bats]

i agree w/ prev but its a lil sad that they looked at clickhole and said "yeah the onion is great :)"

go read "the shovel". aussie satire, i love them

for a satire news site they hit the nail on the head

[plebeiangoth]

If you follow me you must know where a great deal of my sense of humor comes from

I quote this ClickHole video daily. I cannot simply make sure no one else needs the bathroom when I'm intending on bathing, I announce "I would really like to take a bath". I cannot choose between two, rather "both of them were better than each other".

If an anomaly should appear on a scan of my brain, it would look like this. This is my brain tumor. My encephalitis. My brain worms. Nothing has cured me of this disease yet.

No, I have no love for the Austin Powers movies.