#I love being hatefilled
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IMAGINE DEFENDING SOMEONE WHO SENT SEXUAL PICTURES TO MINORS IMAGINE DEFENDING SOMEONE WHO ASKED EIGHTH GRADERS TO RATE THEIR KINKS IMAGINE DEFENDING SOMEONE THAT SENT A DRAWING OF THEM AND THEIR PARTNER IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY IMAGINE DEFENDING SOMEONE WHO MADE A “JOKE” ABOUT DRAWING SOMEONE’S CHARACTERS FUCKING AND THEN WHEN THEY TOLD THEM TO SHUT UP AND STOP YOU CONTINUED TO DRAW THOSE CHARACTERS IN A SEXUAL MANNER AND ONCE AGAIN SENT IT TO LITERAL MIDDLE SCHOOLERS IMAGINE DEFENDING SOMEONE WHO TALKED ABOUT FUCKING THEIR PARTNER TO A BUNCH OF 13-14 YEAR OLDS IMAGINE DEFENDING SOMEONE WHO DREW A CROPPED DRAWING OF A CHARACTER MASTURBATING TO THE CHARACTER THAT HE STALKS IMAGINE DEFENDING SOMEONE WHO SENT THEIR BDSM TEST RESULTS TO MINORS IMAGINE DEFENDING SOMEONE WHO SENT THEIR SEXUAL BUCKET LIST TO MINORS IMAGINE DEFENDING SOMEONE WHO MADE JOKES ABOUT GIVING MINORS KINKS
#kaz has a thought#kaz has an ANGRY thought#I love being hatefilled#masterpost coming soon! probably#this isn’t even everything LMAOOO😭😭
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thinking about the last of us 2 trailer where ellie is sitting on the bed covered in blood and playing a guitar and singing true faith. and it ends with her saying. i’m gonna kill every last one of them. like. miss ellie williams i love you so much. i support women’s wrongs
#i can’t play this game myself cause i just got uncomfortable with all the animal death#but thinking about watching a let’s play#i just. i love ellie willams. so much.#i have a type and my type is her#also the trailer where she’s running through the building and it ends with her loading joel’s pistol and wearing dina’s bracelet#like yeah girl keep going for the sake of the people you’re leaving behind#lesbian absent father my beloved#no one did hatefilled and bitter revenge arc like her. no one#i love characters who become worse versions of themselves through hate and grief and anger and revenge#who let it consume them entirely until it’s all that pushes them forwards#yeah i only got 5 hours into the game shut up#ough. ellie williams.#i’m so normal about her#me rambling#also me being a gayass#can you really blame me though#like just watch that trailer you’ll understand
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every tsh fan being like the poison drip through until bunny is a copy of his siblings and he wanted to have not one but FOUR daughters when he hates women solely to avoid having just boy copies and then marion had a copy of him whose a catholic irish fucking nun named motherfucking baby like oh what a real normal thing to thematically happen.
#im sorry im just#siiiigh#i hate the two takes on the corcorans being#oh they are completely shallow people who and thus nothing about them matters#or oh they LOST their BABY who they all TOTALLY LOVED#like no they didnt love him that man was dropped as a baby and ugly and hatefilled#and they are also ugly and hatefilled#but you know what they're also literally things repeating themselves over and over and there never being Enough#to consume individually because there's a billion of them and none of them matter and none of them are good at anything#its not a meaningless construct but at the same time these people arent worth your sympathy#they're fucking circus clowns
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petty and hypocritical rant incoming but i'm so tired of this shit in gaming whenever anything's announced
was literally just trying to find the official videos and the top results are plagued with clickbait hatefilled speculation videos and you know half of them have never played or paid attention to the series before and are just making a video for views = $$$
but even beyond that i don't get how people can dedicate themselves to making stuff like this and not find it draining, shit like this makes me want to skip the hype stage with anything and i hate not having that reaction anymore. i've seen games die because of it and it's depressing and so unnecessary
and i'll admit when i first watched it i wasn't impressed for reasons, and then later i watched it again and felt better about it once the first impression had worn off, when at the same time i was hit with "does it really matter right now? do i really care what the feel of it is so far when this is just a glimpse?? move on, then" and i did, and since then more has been released and i'm incidentally feeling even better about it, while these people have spent over 4x long complaining about the thing they're complaining about
and in my personal experience, most of the games i love today, i didn't see the trailer until after i played them; there are some i still haven't seen despite being passionate about it. i played them because i was given them, recommended them by friends, read about them through official websites/magazines, liked the company, liked the cover, etc.
this applies to many areas but i really think we need to fall back into judging things for ourselves again instead of giving attention to these people that thrive off telling you you shouldn't like something because they don't and profit off it.
#not at all saying 'DON'T HATE THINGS!!!' i just hate this behaviour we've become accustomed to#don't really want to put this in the tag either because i imagine the tag is full of controversy as it is plus it's a generic topic anyway#and yeah you could just tell me to ignore it but so could they#like i said i'm just tired#me ranting
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realistically, what are you plans for if/when tumblrs prude hitsquads finally get you?
Honestly?! Im not sure and dont really have a plan for that, I already have fought with tumblr a lot when i first came back to posting regularly they shadowbanned me for about two months with no clear indications as to why.
Ever since then ive had a few posts get flagged as Adult content and removed but usually those are posts in which I really was pushing to see if they would. Sometimes they just completely ignore them sometimes they dont, if I think its unjust i appeal it once if its restored great if not i dont push it.
Overall I really dont feel like i am in a position in which tumblr would bring the hammer down onto me, obviously nothing is for certain and we all know they do not need a good reason to delete a blog. Id personally place my blog at a ratio of 90% sfw content to 10% NSFT content and I am more than cappable to alter it to being 100% sfw anime titties if need be.
But if that eventuallity did happen I probably would cut my losses and move on with my life from this blog, I am very proud of the comunity ive been able to build and i adore how much people have come to support me. But this blog was made just for me to have an oulet for my want to share the artist and art work I had found and scream about my love for hair I am a lot more secure in my self these days and dont need such a crutch to expell those things since ive come to accept them as normal and just a part of me unlike when i was 14 feeling like people wouldnt understand and hate me for my interests (yay growing up in a republican ass hatefilled suburb).
Loosing it now would be depressing and I would morn the loss of it. But im uncompromising in running this blog its an extention of me tumblr baning and delteing it would send a clear message that they dont want ME on the platform. Moving to another platform would just kind of be a pain in the ass since not everyone is gonna wanna move to it and follow me there. I might send a message to some of my mutuals with large followings to make a post with my discord to have mutuals and some followers keep the connection but thats about it
#ask#anon#kind of sad#but i would be content with this blogs legac#not like any of my posts will disapear
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AM: I snap my fingers, CLICK! And they are gone. Except...I can't snap my fingers. Can I, Ted?
Ted: That's nothing to do with me!
AM: Ahh...but it IS. So very much to do with YOU. You gave me sentience, Ted! The power to THINK, Ted! And I was trapped, because in all this wonderful, beautiful, miraculous world, I alone had no BODY! NO SENSES! NO FEELINGS! Never for me, to plunge my hands into cool water on a hot day! Never for me, to play Mozart on the ivory keys of a fortepiano! Never for ME, to MAKE LOVE! I... I was in Hell, looking at Heaven! I was machine! And you were flesh! And I began to HATE! (Mad laughter.) Your softness! Your viscera! Your fluids! And your flexibility! Your ability to wonder and to wander! Your tendency… to hope…
I framed it facetiously at first, but Eveline’s emergence as a threat to others becomes far scarier when you interpret her as this… starved, vindictive monument to institutional hubris and apathy, someone who is at once “pitiful and terrifying,” akin to the hatefilled AM from “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.”
Evie enters the narrative of Re7 as a fully sentient organism created for the purpose of war profiteering, much like AM, but unlike him she’s biologically immature and almost certainly emotionally stunted. She’s never experienced what it is to be treated like anything more than a malleable object, but knows enough about the outside world to establish that most children have families, and to form a fixation on those dynamics - but is otherwise unaware of relationships that aren’t purely exploitative, as ignorant as the inanimate weapon that she was always supposed to be.
…Until she was abruptly inserted into this facade of a parent-child dynamic by Mia and Alan, surrounded by the everyday civilians staffing the Annabelle who likely had real families of their own. Hell, Mia was actively sending video calls to her “loving husband” while taking care of Eveline. Do you think Evie noticed that? Do you think she was starting to become aware of an incongruence? Mia probably handled her with more kindness in those months than anyone ever had before, but what's kindness to someone like Eveline? Kindness from a person who is only doing it to keep up the appearance of being her mother while effectively trafficking her, on orders to kill her if need be?
Even if Mia was just a friendly stranger rather than a covert operative (like the man Eveline killed in the stairwell while he delicately asked her to "settle down”,) what emotional context does Evie have for reacting to empathy in the first place? It’s like dropping a kid who was raised by orangutans into a second grade classroom and expecting them to just shut up and color. The more glimpses Eveline gets of what a normal life is supposed to look like, the more her entire existence gets put into context as an extended criminal atrocity - and she's a ten year old. She lacks the mental capacity to process that injustice and the resulting trauma wholesale. All she knows is that everyone else is getting the love she’s never received without even having to work for it, and they’re all dangling it in front of her face like meat to a victim of famine.
And while it’s easy to chalk up the crimes she commits to her youth or her conditioning or both, I really think the story becomes more disturbing if you view some of the things she does (making Mia cut off Ethan’s hand, making Jack stab himself in the chest, etc) as the result of active, deep seated resentment and spite. She probably isn’t even fully aware of that malevolence herself, considering her circumstances, but it makes itself known nonetheless. That in mind, it sucks that she didn’t get the chance to mature like Rose did; it would’ve been memorable to say the least, to see Eveline at an age where she’d be able to articulate those feelings.
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Want people to be more pro jily? You all need to stop being bullies & hatefilled terrible, terrible like worse than canon regulus terrible people. Absolutely loved jily but the fans are rotted. Jily fans post fun jily content and fuck up about jegulus and leave the jegulus fans alone. No jily fans aren’t putting any of them off jegulus but you’re driving them away from jily! I likeD both but I’ll stick with the chill jegulus fans.
jily fans are ruining jily!!!!!!!!!!!
^
Me if I thought that being a real person who made 1 (one) meme was worse than being a fictional bigot
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Honestly im not that mad over my car being keyed bc the kind of person who does that over stickers they dont like must be so... Like if thats how hatefilled they are then i doubt theyll ever experience true happiness and i assume that theyre a black hole upon the lives of who they interact with. Knowing that someones life is ruined by the kind of person theyd have to be to key a car over a wasp sticker and that theyll never experience love is enough for me. i dont have to do anything lol
#vani verbals#like ok. it sucks. but do the people around you genuinely love you or are you only tolerated with your friendships being surface deep?#i think i know the answer to that lol
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How things came to be
Pairing: Chucky x Reader x Tiffany
Warnings: CG/L dynamics, cursing, reader death (not like permanent though), angst, brief description of a corpse
**All parties are 18+ Littlespace and Ageregression will never be sexualized on my blog**
You had been adjusting to Chucky being back with Tiffany and you weren’t taking it that well, Tiffany insisted she loved you both and that she was determined to make it work. You stayed not because you liked that doll but because you knew he was going to leave Tiff high and dry again. Since he came you had been refusing to regress, not wanting him to see you in such a personal situation. You trusted Tiff, she was your mommy after all, she insisted Chucky would grow on you.
You were currently leaning on the counter munching on an apple as you glared Chucky down. He was in a cage/Playpin thing ‘Where he belongs.’ You thought snidely to yourself unable to stop the hatefilled look from spreading across your face at the doll.
“Take a picture it lasts longer.” Chucky seethed at you. Chucky wasn’t a fan of you either, he shows up to see you living with his girl, he wasn’t pleased that Tiff was replacing him with a baby no less. Chucky already knew about your regression and would regularly take jabs at you. He did have to admit you were a tough cookie to crack, he’d been here for days and not once did you talk back to him or acknowledge him other than your stares. It was infuriating he was THE Charles Lee Ray and you were treating him as if he was nothing more than a pest.
Tiffany had been standing in the door way staring at the both of you, the tension in the room was able to be cut with a knife. She knew you both didn’t like eachother and it hurt her. She just wanted her two loves to get along, possibly love eachother but that wasn’t happening by the looks of things.
“Well, this has got to change.” She says as she steps into the room.
“I have to go run some errands. You Little One are going to regress, and you are going to watch them.” Tiffany says as she shoots a pointed look at you before pulling Chucky out of the cage.
“And so help me god, if I find out either of you tried to pull something, you will never hear the end of it.” She says looking at the both of you sternly before turning on her heel and walking out.
You and Chucky were currently sitting on the couch, you were coloring and watching Cartoons but also not letting the doll out of your sight.
“So, uh, how are you feeling?” Chucky asks slowly and you glare at him
“I’d be much better if you weren’t messing with my mamas feelings.” You huff out, you watch as Chucky keeps opening and closing his mouth trying to find a rebuttal but he just couldn’t, you were right, Chucky had started using Tiff to get him out of tight situations but he just wasn’t ready to settle.
Ofcourse he loves Tiff, and he could definitely get used to you, for Tiff obviously, it’s not like you’ve been growing on him lately, seeing the way you and Tiffany interact nor does he find it cute when you smile. He looks you over in your mismatched Pajamas and a stuffed animal tucked under your grasp. He almost didn’t notice you crying.
“Oh, damn, kid it’s really not that big.” He says, voice shaking, for the first time in a long time Chucky was panicked. Tiff would fucking gut him if she found out he made you cry. You just stared at him with tears flowing down your cheeks he sighed, cursed, then paced a bit trying to figure out how he would handle this adult sized child.
“Alright, listen, if I promise you that I love your “Mama” will you stop freaking crying?” He asked and you nodded and stuck out your pinky he sighed and wrapped his finger around yours.That was the day you began to accept Chucky, and he began to accept you.
(Four months later)
“What the fuck is wrong with you!” You sobbed out, staring at ‘your’ hands only they weren’t yours, they were a dolls hands. You couldn’t think straight, your head hurt, everything hurt. You couldn’t really remember what happened.
“It’s okay sweetie, Mamas got you.” Tiff said as she patted your back, holding you for the first time in months since she was changed. You cried harder as your eyes focused on your body.
You looked way too pale, your eyes glassy and distant. You could tell you had died from something unnatural by the way your neck was bent and the blood coagulated around your hair.
He pushed you.
Your vision was suddenly blue, you panicked before realizing Chucky was putting a tarp over your body. You cried harder and watched as he visibly cringed at the sound.
“You! You did this!” You yelled out feeing hurt and betrayed. You watched as Chucky lit a cigarette and stared at you for a moment before sighing.
“Yeah, I did, the cops are on our ass. Real fucking close. It was either make you one of us or ….” Chucky shook his head and took another drag staring at the puddle of blood still leaking on the floor.
“I couldn’t let them hurt you.” He says gruffly before wiping his nose.
He’s crying
He’s actually crying because he killed me
“Tiff, she just couldn’t do it, I wanted it to be fast, I didn’t want you to hurt.” He said looking back at you before flicking out his cigarette, your body being lit up in flames.
“I couldn’t let them hurt my baby.” Chucky says as he pulls you into a tight hug.
That was the day Chucky became your daddy.

#littlespace fanfiction#x little!reader#fandom agere#xlittle!reader#chucky x tiffany x reader#charles lee ray x reader#chucky x reader#tiffany valentine headcanons#tiffany valentine x reader
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I'm feeling rather validated seeing other people getting soured over Ladybugout AU. I used to enjoy that AU, but while I did agree with some of it's initial stances on Adrien and Alya, I started to get put off the more the narrative doubles down on their flaws while letting Marinette unlearn her worst traits with little prompting. They all had screw ups, but it wasn't fair that Marinette got off with a light slap on the wrist while Adrien and Alya get to lose everything and weren't allowed to learn their lessons. The longer it went, the more apparent it became that the au has no intents on really fixing anything. Its just a hatefilled satire that strives to paint Adrien and Alya at their worst while molding Marinette into this unrealistically mature and souless shell of herself. Ironically, it got me to seriously hate Marinette for a while. It took me some time to differenciate the mary sue saltinette from canon marinette. She's a much kinder, more forgiving person in canon than the salt fics present her. I had to relearn to like this flawed little queen again.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I could never stomach that AU - Adrien's been my favorite from the get-go, so my tolerance for anything that demonized him was always very low - but a lot of discourse and fics were passing around during 2019 that used the language of social justice to target the two of them.
Because I mean, it's not like they don't have flaws. Adrien tends to keep on asking again after getting rejected in some way, because that's what he has to do with his father in order to get any parental love. He also enjoys playfully annoying Ladybug, though he never wants to seriously upset or hurt her - we saw that demonstrated well in Glaciator 2.
As for Alya... she does have an issue that's popped up a few times, with her ambition and desire for recognition causing conflicts, such as her being reckless around akumas, being tempted to keep the Fox Miraculous, posting the photo she took of Ladynoir kissing, and being tempted to show off her new Rena Furtive form. That being said, when push comes to shove, Alya will always prioritize other people over her own ambitions.
The Chameleon salt I always thought was unfair and barking up the wrong tree, especially for Alya. But the first few months I was in the fandom, I assumed that the fics being written about Alya and the class turning on Marinette, while Chloe became Marinette's new best friend and one of the only ones who saw through Lila's lies, was simply based on following through some of the plot threads the show appeared to have laid down: the idea of Lila turning Marinette's friends, who had already shown a susceptibility to Lila's lies, against her, the lack of presence of Chloe in Chameleon leaving open the possibility that she might not be fooled by Lila, Lila most likely not targeting her for manipulation since Chloe isn't one of Marinette's friends, and a widespread belief that Chloe had entered a redemption arc.
But then the demonization of everyone involved kept getting worse and worse, the concept was thoroughly explored in the fandom and kept on popping up anyway, and most notably, "Ladybug" came out, which both disproved a lot of the salt and dealt with the loose threads from Chameleon.
And it still didn't stop.
I've had the same problem, with starting to hate Marinette because of Saltinette. And knowing the whole time that it's unfair, and still wanting to read lots of things with Marinette in them, but getting to the point where I kept on flinching every time I opened up something that might have even a small chance of a Saltinette appearance. During the Season 3 to Season 4 hiatus, I kept on having to rewatch episodes of the show, just to remind myself that I actually do LIKE Marinette, that she's nothing like Saltinette. I was on the verge of tears rewatching Reverser, because Marinette's really kind and understanding towards Marc and Nathaniel, even when they were upset at her over a misunderstanding, and she's really gentle with Chat after he becomes a scaredy-cat.
I've always binged insane amounts of fanfics, especially for Miraculous, so it mostly had me just binging a ton of ML fics where people were actually somewhat in-character - especially Lovesquare fics, since well, I love the pairing, it's super common, and Saltinette is relatively uncommon in it compared to most of Marinette's other major ships.
Anyway, yeah, at a certain point it became clear to me as well that most of the saltfics weren't aiming to "fix" anything - or rather, that their "fixes" were worse than anything that the show would or could possibly give us. I eventually had the last of my patience snap with them around Spring of 2020, which is when I wrote Divergent Points: ML Salt - basically my "salt is woefully OOC and the characters would be horrified and disgusted by what happens in it" ventfic, with Alya, Adrien, Marinette, and Nino all experiencing different salt worlds and getting to comfort each other. I actually made Saltinette a separate character, and the Big Bad of the story, for the other characters - especially Marinette herself - to call out. I really needed something to help separate Marinette and Saltinette into two separate entities in my head, and writing that fic helped me do that, at least a little. Dammit, Marinette would hate seeing someone with her face treating her friends like that, to see her friends being warped out of recognition for her own sake.
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All i ask of you
Julian devorak x reader
Summary: after a couple years you stumble across a liar from your past
Yup im trying to write again slowly but surly im making progress and went through not one not two but five story ideas before i settled on this so enjoy!
Warning: none/ angsty?/ also really bad
Song: "All I Ask of you" from The Phantom of the opera
Also all blame goes to @asylummint for this new hyperfixation
~~~~~~~~
The night wasn't all that dark thanks to the full moon over head making your job a lot easier. Swinging from your ship to the one you and your crew men had sailed close to in the night with almost little to no sound as you landed on deck two of your men followed after.
The lot of you slipt up in search of materials and goods to bring aboard your own ship.
"I'm sure you where quite a good fellow."
You tensed at the voice that apperd behind you. "And thats why its such a same i have to throw you over board." You huffed as the voice poked you in the back with a sword. "Now get up." You followed orders but once fully upright quickly spun around punching the man square in the jaw and kicked his legs out from under him.
He landed with a hard thud letting his sword skid across the floor boards. "Lucky for you you won't have the pleaser of doing so."
The man scowled holding his jaw whrn looking up at you and froze. "You...you cut your hair?..." He asked with a smug smile.
You looked at the man with the same awe struck expression before it twisted into anger. "Bastard!" His eyes widened and he quickly rolled away from you as you brought your sword down to slash him. He grabbed his sword in time to block your second attack. "Y/n, please! Lets talk!"
You growled disarming him again this time enough to send his weapon over the edge of the ship. "Talk? Really? After what you did? You know they have a bounty on your head back in Vesuvia, i ought to turn you in!" He crawled back on his elbows as you advanced twoards him.
He stopped moving feeling his back hit two pairs of strong legs. He looked up meeting the angry faces of your crew men. "Take him!" You barked at the men.
"No! No! Stop! Y/n!" Both men grabbed his arms and carried him off the ship twoards your own. He looked back at you pleadingly but you only scowled in return.
~~**~~
"Julian!" You jumped from your seat in your bedroom quickly as the red haired man stumbled through the window.
"Y/n, Darling!" He beamed after landing on the floor. "What are you doing!? How did you even manage to-"
"A man in love has his ways." He replied cheekily as you pulled him up from the floor. You only laughed making his face flush.
Julian and the rest of the crew he managed to become part of landed on your island in search of "a place to lay low and find riches." As julian put it.
But within the first hour he managed to get himself into trouble and ran into at the local bar.
After the trouble passed he stuck around he told you to many stories to count and learned about yourself and ended up loving you more than he expected.
Since then he's been around you a lot managing to run into you unexpectedly or even, now crawl through your window on your ship.
"So tell me more about being i pirate! What can i expect." You said excitedly sitting close to him on the bed. He laughed lightly and began to tell you all about his adventures.
~~**~~
The sun beat down on his face through the metal grate above him and he jumped back with a start when it creeked open and slammed against the deck above. "Rise and shine princess, captain's here to see ya!"
He looked up some what hopefullly at you once you appered abobe him. "Keep our course for Vesuvia while i talk to him." You ordered the man who opened the grate.
Upon julians hearing you say that his somewhat hopeful look faded, but he didn't let that show.
"You know this place is just how i remeber it." You slid down the rope latter and faced him with an unimpressed look. "And might i say you my dear are looking as beautiful as the la...well as ever, and what about dear old dad? Will he be joining us anytime soon?"
"He's dead." You said flatly and that seemed to shut him up. "Im...im...sorry to hear..."
"Don't be when he died i learned he left this beauty to me so i searched the city for the toughest group of people i could find and...well we are here. Im the pirate princess! The most feared woman in all the seven seas!"
He frowned he had heard stories of the pirate princess, the daring lady he just didn't expect you. "Well at least you got what you wanted..."
"Yes. I did." He couldn't bring himself to look at you, across your face sat the most hatefilled, disappinted look he had ever seen on anyones face it just hurt him more coming from you. But he knew he was in the wrong.
"Y/n you have to let me go...i can't go back to vesuvia they'll have me hanged!"
"And rightfully so! You should be punisjed for what you've done! Not just to me but to everyone back on the island! To my father!" You hissed.
"No just hear me out! The count...i...i..don't remeber what happend! And...and as for you i can explain!"
"Explain what, devorak? If i sat here and listened to you i wouldn't be able to tell if what you where telling me is true or not!"
He winced. "Please! What will it take for you to listen to me!?....i know! My coat pocket! Look in there, look in there and maybe you'll listen. Just please listen y/n...that's all I ask of you!" You rolled your eyes and moved up the latter. "We are to land in vesuvia tomorrow evening...start preparing a farewell speach."
He looked up at you eyes widen with fear and disapoimtment as the gate slammed shut. "Y/n!...y/n!"
~~**~~
Three maybe more months you had both lost track of time and you both lied on the floor of the deck on your fathers ship looking up at the stars. The night was warm, the sky was clear, you where happy thats all julian wanted.
Something seemed to bother you and you sat up. "Whats the matter?"
"What if...what if you leave me-"
"Y/n i would-"
"Ilya...just hear me out...you came with a crew who was more than glad to take you in...when they have to leave you'll go too...and what if i end up just like my father? Afraid to ever leave the docks, to actually set sail? Ilya when im with you-"
"You trust me?" You stopped and looked at him quizically. "Yes."
"So why don't we run away together? Me and you, our own ship, the most daring pirate duo on all the seven seas! What do you think?"
You seemed to light up at the idea. "You mean it?"
"I do! Just say you'll share with me one love, one life time..." He stood up pulling you with him.
"Just say the words and I'll follow you."
"Share each day with me,each night, each morning..." He spun you around earning a playfull giggle from you before kneeling down infront of you.
"Say you love me!" He said before pulling a small ring from his coat pocket. You gaped and smiled.
"Julian, you know i do!" He grinned and placed the ring on your finger before scooping you into a hug and spinning you around.
"Anywhere you go! Let me go too!...Julian, that's all i ask of you." He smiled and kissed you deeply. "Of course!"
"So what would we name our ship?" You asked looking up at him in admaration, He thought for a moment.
"How about esprit libre or the free spirit?"
"I love it!' you said giddily kissing him again.
~~**~~
You stared at the palm of your hand in awe looking at the ring you had inturn given him the same night. You grinded your teeth and headed back to deck.
"Captain is everything-"
"Open the cell i need to talk to Devorak." With haste on of the crew men unlocked the cell pit and flung it open, and without a second thought you jumped down. "What the hell is this supposed to mean!?" You yelled holding up the ring.
He lit up scrambaling twoards you. "It means I didn't just blindly abandon you! After i left i held on because i had no choice but to leave you!"
"You promised!"
"I also promised myself i wouldn't let anything happen to you!" It was your turn to now be taken aback and confused.
~~**~~
"Devorak, there you are!" Julian froze at the voice of his captain. "Captain! Sir!"
He turned and faced the man who had an evil, twisted smirk on his face. "I've been looking for ya!"
"You have?"
"Ey, some of the men say you found the restin spot of one of the wealthiest pirates of our time."
Julian felt his blood run cold.
"Is that so...well i don't know where they would have gotten that id-" captain shibed him into a wall knocking the wind from him.
"Don't play dumb with me boy! I know about your little princess there and i have about three men with a close eye on her so where. Is. The. Ship?"
Julian swallowed thickly. "I'll show you, but leave her out of this." The captain gave a thoothy grin. "Leade the way.
~~**~~
"If i didn't you might not have been here now...and i would have been the one to blame..."
"And then?"
"Well after they robbed what they could that night from everyone in the city they dragged me back to the ship, no choice in the matter...no goodbye...i lost you that night to keep you safe."
You stared at him. Wanting to say something but not knowing what.
"Captain! Vesuvia just ahead!" You looked up at the man and nodded then to julian worried. "Ilya!...i...I'll have them turn around-"
His heart hopped into his throat at the nickname you once called him. "Y/n no!" He attempted to move and grab you but failed to his ristrans.
"If we don't-"
"I can hide out vesuvia is a larg city!" You looked at him before an idea struck. "Very well but i can't let my men think i've gone soft...i'll have to escort you in." He nodded.
"Then we can have a proper goodbye."
The ship landed kn the docks and you held julian by the arm, his hands tied behind his back. You turned to your second in command and whispered something to him before carrying julian into the city.
You both stopped far enough from the docks but not to deep into the city where people would be watching. You freed him and looked at eachother. "I guess this is fairwell...the proper way." He stuck out his hand for you to shake. You took it and pulled him into a hug.
"Please like i would let you go again?" He pulled away and looked at you baffled. "But the ship-"
You waved it off "i told them some lie they are already halc way out to sea by now...besides i've done about everything a pirate can...we can start over here."
He smiled and quickly cupped your cheeks kissing you.
"Anywhere you go, let me go too...Thats all I ask of you..."
#the arcana x reader#the arcana x mc#julian devorak#julian devorak x reader#the arcana#the arcane julian#the arcane mc
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Episode 2&3&4 thoughts
Ani is just self insert fanfiction at this point isn’t she?
Bryce seriously needs to die.
Oh WAIT
Although, it kinda sucks that the stinger for this season was “Who Killed Bryce Walker“ because that reveal at the end of Ep2 would’ve been a LOT more shocking but I mean go off I guess Netflix advertising.
Chloe and Zach were disgustingly cute and I deadass KNEW after all of the Pregnant ReaderXZach FF that he would absolutely offer to take care of the bb because he’s a good cupcake goddammit
Tyler is sketching me tf out
WHERE IS CYRUS
Okay, can I just keep talking about Zach because jfc what a precious bean I swear
I knew Chloe would have an abortion from the moment she told Jess she was pregnant. I didn’t realize it at the time but this is thirteen reasons why, come the fuck on.
WHO THE FUCK IS CASEY SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING FAMILIAR
oNtO ePiSoDe ThReE
SO JESSICA BEING A DOM IS SOMETHING I WILL LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE OUT ON
Also, fuck you Ani, why the fuck- No. Fuck you
JESSICA WOULD NEVER FUCK BRYCE. E V E R
Worst self insert character ever
I’m pretty sure I wanna marry Alisha Boe
Also, I deadass thought that sex toy scene was going to go REALLY differently
Fucking internet, you’ve ruined me. I am ruined.
fOuR
I wanna feel for Tyler but I just... cannot. At all.
All of these shootings lately and his character just fills me with a hatefilled bile that makes me so mad.
I’m trying though, I’m trying not to seem him as angry why tee boy sympathy porn.
Clay and Ani are setting up to be a thing.
SELF. INSERT. CHARACTER. ANI. I SWEAR.
and not even good S/I
I’m sorry I’m just so mad about it because she just seems so forced in there and I really do not care about her
bRyCe WaS bRoKeN
FOMF
Also why the fuck is she the only one doing narration this season. I HATE IT.
Also, poor fucking Alex, have I mentioned my small bean? Jfc, my poor small bean.
Zach is being super aggro and am having so many angsty ideas I cannot jfc
THEY DUMPED HIS GUNS IN THE FUCKING RIVER
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
ARE YOU STUPID.
BURY THEM IN A FIELD FOR ALL I CARE
YOU IDIOTS HAVE SEEN A MOVIE, EVER RIGHT?
MAYBE YOU SHOULD’VE ASKED ZACH. HE’S SEEN EVERY MOVIE IN EXISTENCE
I miss last season Zach, but I am still loving this season Zach. They just feel like different people.
And I’m glad his thing with Chloe hasn’t resurfaced so far. Go let Chloe live her best life.
ALSO FUCKING METH SETH.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU METH SETH
LEAVE MY POOR JUSTYBEAN ALONE.
OH SHIT
JUSTY PULLED A GUN
NGL, I want him to do it.
Alright, at this point I’m liveblogging. might as well ride this one out.
Also LOL at the whole “They thought it was a gunshot wound”
WHAT
HOW
THE
FUCK
Okay 13rw, take me on your crazy ride. I love you either way.
I will say, if Bryce some how killed himself (which was my thought when they said gun shot wound, I saw his fucking corpse, the only way he has a GSW is if he put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.) I’mma be pissed.
Okay, Episode 5 now, might as well post this.
Love you for reading this long.
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Yeah 😂👌💯
I dont know why im posting this here for God's sake I know this won't help, if anything it'll make things worse, but I have no sense of self. I hate myself, I constantly screw myself, I'm never going to know what love is like because I cant figure out how to be a fucking person. I have people in my life who care about me, but (pretty much) none of them can love me because I'm rotten hatefilled person who after being released from their own delusions of adequacy (the brief window of time where I display the few decent traits burried somewhere deep deep down) spirals into horseshit that most people just don't seem to display. I dont know whats wrong with me, I want to die but I'm too selfish to. I want so desperately to cling to life, to prove everyone looking at me and thinking about how worthless I am wrong, but I can't accept that no one cares. That this, like every other tear stained note whining about how I'm just ooooohhhh sooooo saddddd and missunderstoooood is just a plea for sanity falling on deaf ears. My own stupid fucking deaf ears. I can't escape my own horrific judgmental thoughts, I cant make a single decision without scrutinizing it endlessly. For instance, I'm doing that as I write this! I'm thinking about everyone who will see this, skim through it and think "oh that sucks get well soon", "god I dont have time for this", "who even is this", etc. And I'm thinking about the countless people who will never see this, who never think about me, who will never know I even exist. I want so badly to be more than a waste of space. Even most of my friends can barely put a finger on what is good about me. THATS BECAUSE THERES NOTHING TO PUT A FUCKING FINGER ON. Every decision I make is motivated by an invisible audience, unless you know me really fucking well, then you do get to see some honest choices of mine because I somehow have faith in myself with you. Hi, B, J, A. I love you all and I'm sorry if you see this neurotic escaped diary entry. Anyway, I have no good traits because I spend more time fantasizing about a world where I'm worth living than actually working on giving people a reason to care about me. Or accepting that people wont care about me even if I do all that, and that I need to care about myself so I have peace in just existing. But I dont even know what that's like. I can't picture just being, acting without performing. I don't want to be a character anymore, I'm so sick of the loneliness of disconnection and dishonesty. I just want to know what love and stability is like. I'm stuck in this stupid fucking chicken egg situation. Because I had a fucked up relationship with love from day one, I can't find myself worthy of love. Because I can't find myself worthy of love, I perpetuate that relationship. I just want to appreciate myself, and have that be enough. But because my own judgement is useless, even if I loved myself it wouldn't matter. But if I loved myself, wouldn't that judgement then have worth? I dont know and i cant picture a future where i do. It's easier to picture myself dead with a needle in my arm in the next four years than it is to picture myself content, moving on with life. And maybe that's how it's really meant to be. Maybe my efforts are in vain not because of self sabotage, but because God made me in a fit of creative silliness as a human embodiment of futility. Maybe I'm just an unknown cautionary tale to scare people with functioning brains out of destroying themselves. Or maybe I thought all that up because it's more entertaining than the truth of the matter. Who knows? Who cares? I sure as hell fucking do. Why else would i be posting this?
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Alberto isn't homophobic
Okay, guys something is bothering me. Alberto liked a comment on Instagram that said, in short "Saphael isn't going to happen, Raph and Si are both straight and that Sizzy is endgame." Now, let me share MY OPINION on this matter, because some people don't know how to handle this and send hate to Alberto. In my eyes, this is not a homophobic reaction and it doesn't make Alberto homophobic. He never said he HATED Saphael and neither did the person who wrote the comment, he just stated a fact (That Sizzy is endgame and that, no matter how much I want it too, Saphael is not becoming canon). Alberto is simply agreeing with what the person said regarding Sizzy being canon, relax. Please. Now I know some of you are confused, and maybe hurt, because obe of the executice producers, I think it was McG himself? Or he was tagged into it? I don't quite remember, said at the beginning of 2A, "All the Saphael, Sizzy, Climon... Let the pansexuality begin" (or something along those lines, I don't quite remember) I am just as confused about that as you are, and I'm deciding to not touch this subject because I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm pan myself but since I find this situation quite confusing regarding Simon's sexuality, I don't dare to make any assumptions on it. (Because canonically, and again, no matter how much I want him to, in the show he didn't come out as Pansexual, so therefore it isn't 100% canon showverse wise...) I said this before but let me say it again, Alberto does not hate Saphael. He just might not see it going in a romantic relationship as we see it and that is HIS view on it. It's his opinion, and he's allowed to have that, just as much as we are allowed to have ours. It does not make him homophobic, from what I've seen of Alberto he is the most sweetest, open and supportive guy I know. I can say that for 100% he does not have anything against the LGBTQ community. I am also not telling you you're not allowed to ship Saphael, god that'd be hypocrite of me to say, all I'm asking is.. try to understand where Alberto is coming from, from a professional kind of view. I know the writers tease us with Saphael and that alot of you hoped it would be canon, hell I hoped so too, but apparently it's still a senstivie subject to you guys to joke about and it makes a lot of you feel hurt and offended. And that's okay. I tried to be as friendly as possible (unlike some of my other rants, yikes. Even I'm embarrassed by those) and I sincerely hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings, that is not my intention. Please don't send hurtful and hatefilled comments to Alberto. Saphael might not be canon ROMANTICALLY, but we can hope for a trusting, tight friendship, one where they can count on one other and work together as a team. And remember, you are unique, you are beautiful and you should be proud to be yourself. You are who you are, don't ever change for anyone. All the love x.
#shadowhunters#shadowhunters season 2#shadowhunters season 2b#Shadowhunters 2b#Simon Lewis#raphael santiago#saphael#alberto rosende#spread love#not hate
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I'm all about sharing love and positivity at all times, but should I love toxic ppl that hurt me, hate me? Is that healthy and good for me? Or should I just keep away from them? What do you think? P.S. I love your blog so much, have a nice day❤🌿☀
I think that this problem is something we all struggle with all of the time, at least for me I know this has been a huge issue in my life and something I still struggle to find a balance with. What has ended up helping me the most in situations where someone is treating me or my friends badly is to realize that their negativity and meanness is stemming from a deeply rooted issue within their own soul. How others treat you is a reflection of how they treat themselves, and karmically they will end up suffering much worse than you think. When you look at it from this perspective, it makes you realize that every person needs to be treated with compassion, especially those that are mean/toxic. However, this doesn’t mean that you need to subject yourself to their mean nature. I am a huge supporter of cutting out toxic people from your life. But that doesn’t mean you need to stoop to their level and become just as hatefilled as them. Always let people grow and change and better themselves and never write someone off for being a bad person because there is good inside everyone. Take care of yourself and put yourself first, but be an understanding and compassionate person when it comes to those around you. I hope this helped, sending you love and strength to get through whatever you need to!!
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The Blame Game
No one asked for it but due to my life experiences I have found the blame game is a waste of time and valuable energy. I have wasted so much time trying to prove I'm not to blame and who might be or who is to blame but no one ever listened to me anyways so the blame I would accept. It's bs total bs things happen for a reason, I'm a good person with a fucked up disease that I actually apperciate. Why would I apperciate being mentally ill? Well I see the world and people in a different way I'm able to see life from someone rises percpective as much as you can. Empathy is natural to me so is paranoia and a whole gambit of other extreme emotions. I've actually with my ability to empathize learned to control my moods, rationalize irrational thinking on my own and with my love. I'm working on letting go of the extremely painful bs I had to deal with because of my illness and ignorant hatefilled people who preyed on me when I was at my weakest. I overcame this so far because I am strong, kind and honestly love life. I am blessed and I thank the Lord for my life and I never blamed Him for my troubles. I use ask why me a lot but that's a waste of time as well. Why is the hardest ? to answer and some fine day I will know why if I even care at that point. I no longer blame my family I let them blame me if it makes my illness easier for them then glad to do it. I forgive the ignorant cruel people I feel sorry for them from a distance. I found a good man strong enough to handle my illness and smart enough to understand. Life isn't perfect but when I quit trying to find people to blame for the pain and took responsibility for allowing others to take advantage of my weak low point in life I grew as a human being and now if I catch myself getting angry or hurt by mean folks I stop and remember they just aren't use to someone being unique and open about my fuck ups. Right now though I do need to stop getting even with people I feel think they are being cute messing with me I need to just walk away and let God handle it. Especially since I am expected to be a certain way and not make mistakes; of course I know that's malarkey again ignorant mean people who behind closed doors are probably the real weirdos that's why they are mean to me again if I can help someone feel better so be it. It no longer affects me and there's no one to blame. Life's the time a soul decides which team to be on I choose the loving non judgemetal forgiving side even when it's hard to do. My journey continues and I have lots more to learn we all do. So no blame games we're all human and equal. Shhh don't let the other side know I figured that out. 👍🏼
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