#I love Funeral Parade of Roses

[alchemistmelody]

[sarahsghosts]

the death and resurrection of jonathan price

john price x female, wife!reader

angst with an eventual happy ending

word count: 2,734

cw: language.

disclaimer: not proofread.

chapter 6

songs: when it rains - paramore, apt. - rose & bruno mars

it was less than twelve hours before you saw john again.

the rain had continued to pour, picking up enough that you could hear it beating relentlessly against your window panes.

as soon as you came home from work, you’d taken a hot shower, put on an old, large tshirt, a pair of joggers and curled up on the couch.

you’d pulled a throw blanket up over your lap and had a mug of tea (without honey) sitting on the end table next to you while you read your romance novel.

the romance genre was never something you indulged in before. you’d never been one to rain on anyone's parade, but it just wasn’t for you.

“i don’t need to read all that because i have the real thing,” you used to tell john. that always made him smile.

but after you thought he had died, you started indulging a little bit: a rom com here, romance novel there.

there was something in between the lines that reminded you of your and john’s relationship. the witty banter. the lingering touches. the love that never died.

until yours did.

but for 90 minutes or 300 pages, you could pretend that it hadn’t.

you were lost in your book, almost completely dead to the world, pulled out only when the knocking on your door grew more insistent.

you had no clue how long it’d been going on, so you dropped your book onto the couch and dove for the door.

“coming!” you called, as you undid the deadbolt. you pulled the door open and saw john standing on your doorstep.

he wore a dark gray tshirt and a worn pair of jeans. his lips were pursed and his carried a manila file folder in his hand.

you blinked at him. “hi.”

he tilted his head slightly. his eyes looking you up and down, but revealed nothing of what he was thinking. “can i come in?” his voice sounded rough, almost hesitant.

you were still frustrated with him for making a scene at your work earlier, but you couldn’t help the hope that bloomed in your chest at seeing him here on your doorstep.

“oh! yeah, of course,” you said, stepping back to make room for him to enter.

as he walked by you, you could see his gaze shifting around the room, taking in all the changes you’d made since he left.

you had removed all the wedding pictures that used to hang on the walls. the cards from christmases past were no longer stuck to the refrigerator.

the bedroom door was cracked open, and you were suddenly self conscious of the unobstrucked view he had of the messy, unmade bed.

he took a few more paces into the living area, eyes darting around.

he stilled as he saw the memorial shadowbox you’d left on the wall.

he service photo. the program from his funeral printed beside it. the folded flag.

he stared at it for a long moment before he turned to you and said, “need you to sign this.”

he held out the folder.

you tentatively took it from his hands and opened it up. your eyes scanned the documents and your head began to swim.

co-petitioners.

broken down irretrievably.

your eyes flitted to the bottom of the page and you saw two signature lines. your throat tightened.

john had already signed one.

you snapped the folder shut, a hollow feeling growing in your chest. “you want a divorce?”

you shook your head and tried to hand the folder back to him.

he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and leaned up against the wall. he sighed deeply as if he expected this. “come on, love. it’s for the best.”

his tone was condescending, but you heard the exhaustion layered underneath it.

“go find some nice bloke,” he said. “have yourself a proper family.”

you bit down on the inside of your cheek. god, you were tired. “i don’t want a proper family, john, i want you.”

he chuckled, bitterly. “you keep saying that, but the thing is, you don’t.” you opened your mouth to protest, but he continued. “i’m not the man you knew. he’s gone.”

“bullshit,” you interrupted. “i understand something like that changes someone, but that doesn’t mean—”

his eyes flared and he straightened up. “you have no fucking idea what i—”

“because you won’t talk to me!” you shouted, throwing up your hands. “for better or for worse, remember? whatever it is, john, we can work through it. together.”

he stares down at you, his gaze so intense you felt as though it may burn a hole right through you. finally, he shook his head and let out a small laugh. “funny, isn’t it?”

your brows furrowed. “what?”

he took a step towards you, leaving minimal distance between the two of you. a cruel smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“you’ll still get you down on your knees for me, but i can’t get you to sign a bloody piece of paper.”

you slapped him. hard.

his eyes closed momentarily, but otherwise he gave no reaction to the blow.

your face burned hot from rage and humiliation. “get the fuck out of my house,” you hissed.

for a moment, he didn’t move, then he pushed past you and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

your hands were trembling as you gripped the folder tightly.

you moved back to the couch and dropped down onto it, staring at the divorce papers.

it occurred to you suddenly, that john baited you into the slap. and you had fallen for it.

he did it so i’d sign the fucking papers, you realized. you let out a scoff and shook your head. “sonuvabitch…”

you picked up your book and the folder, heading towards your bedroom. on your way by the kitchen, you chucked both items into the bin.

john stared down at the cup of coffee in his hand. it wasn’t right.

he poured it down the drain and started again.

the cheap little coffee machine spit and sputtered as it dribbled out a fresh pot.

his apartment smelled strongly of coffee which mercifully covered up the ever present scent of mildew.

he grabbed the pot and poured himself a cup.

again.

this was the third one he had made. he took a long sip, not bothered by the way it scalded his tongue.

he let out a low, frustrated growl.

it was beans and water. how hard could it be?

his arms slipped around your torso, cradling you against his chest, where you fit so nicely.

“smells good, love,” he purred in your ear.

you poured yourself a cup of coffee and picked up a peppermint from the bowl you kept on the counter. you opened the wrapper and dropped the candy into your mug, stirring it to help it melt.

“how do you want it?” you asked him.

he kissed the side of your neck. “coffee’s coffee,” he murmured against your skin.

you rolled your eyes even as a small smile tugged at your lips.

he always teased you with the claim that all coffee tasted the same.

diner coffee? fancy espresso from the local shop? the sludge that they made on base?

all the same.

you had feigned offense at this on several different occasions, claiming that you made much better coffee than the garbage he drank on base.

the truth was, you were right. you made a much better cup of coffee than any of those knuckleheads he worked with. but he enjoyed pushing your buttons too much to admit it.

you reached for an empty cup from the mug tree you kept on the counter.

you poured a fresh cup and spun around in his arms, handing it to him. “that’s the good stuff,” you told him.

he took a sip, smacked his lips thoughtfully and said, “yeah. that’s coffee alright.”

you wrinkled your nose, rolled your eyes once more and scoffed. “you’re impossible.”

he could hear your little scoff as clearly as if you were in the room with him.

he scowled down at the coffee in his hands before it, too, was poured down the sink.

you shot back the tequila like you hadn’t done since you were in college.

your current company probably had something to do with it, but so did your last run in with john, which was playing on a loop in your head.

you could still see to smirk on his face as he baited you into slapping him.

he still new exactly how to push your buttons. how to get you riled up.

so when your barely-drinking-age coworkers said they were going to the bar, you gladly accepted the invitation.

“damn mama,” mandy laughed, already tipsy from the two cocktails she had prior to the white claw she was sipping.

“had a long week,” you grunted as the tequila burned your throat. i’m too old for this, you thought, as you sat in the crowded, loud hipster bar.

there weren’t many lights in the place, but the ones that flashed from the corners of the room were bright and neon colored.

andre, a twenty year old college student, chortled and clapped your shoulder. “yeah, we can tell.”

“don’t look now,” your coworker, christy, said with a twinkle in her eye, “but that guy is checking you out.”

you, being curious and buzzed, immediately snapped your head over.

a man who leaned against the end of the bar had his dark eyes locked onto you. his hair flashed pink, then blue, then green under the bar’s lighting. he had a dark beard that complimented him well, and he wore a small stud piercing above his left eyebrow.

upon making eye contact, he immediately flashed you a lazy, but charming grin. he appeared a little embarrassed and apologetic for staring. he gave you a small wave, but then looked away.

you felt a blush rise to your cheeks.

your coworkers laughed as they watched the whole exchange. andre whistled loudly and you rolled your eyes.

“alright, kids,” you said affectionately, feeling a little bemused and flustered. “that’s enough of that.” the air around you started to feel thick and humid. suddenly, you were aware of just how much you were sweating.

you took a sip of the beer you’d been nursing between shots. “i’m going to get some air,” you told them, as you pushed off the bar and headed for the stairs.

they jokingly booed you and you threw up your middle finger over your shoulder.

you made your way through the crowd to the staircase that led to the rooftop patio. when you made it up and out, the cool night air hit your skin, sending a spray of goosebumps down your arms.

the tank top you wore did nothing to shield you from the breeze, but you didn’t mind; it felt incredible.

the rooftop was just as crowded, but you maneuvered your way to the end and leaned up against the railing.

“awfully rowdy in there, huh?”

you looked up to see eyebrow piercing wearing the same lazy grin he had on before.

you noticed now that his hair was a sandy blonde. he wore a leather jacket and combat style boots, but they were very shiny and paired with ripped skinny jeans.

he held two bottles of beer in his hand and offered you one. “i’m cal,” he said.

you smiled at him, and took the beer. “nice to meet you, cal,” you say, intentionally withholding your own name.

“so what’s up with the field trip group you have with you?”

you laughed and shrugged one shoulder. “my coworkers,” you explained. “i don’t usually go out like this…”

cal leaned against the railing next to you. “but?”

“but…” you’re not about to complain about your work, or your possibly ex husband to this stranger. “i just needed it, tonight,” you finished.

he nodded, understandingly. “hmm, i get that.” he looked you up and down, before bluntly asking, “looking to blow off a little steam?”

for a moment you were in a different bar, in a different town, next to a different man.

“let me take you somewhere for a quiet drink, on me, and then you can go home. alone.”

you looked down at the bottle of beer in your hands. the cap had already been twisted off when cal handed it to you.

“you know…” you placed the drink down on top of the metal railing, angling yourself towards the direction of the stairwell. “i don’t think so. but it was nice chatting with you—”

a hand wrapped around your upper arm and tugged you back.

startled, you looked up at cal. his expression was still casual, but his eyes were narrowed. “c’mon, was it something i said?”

“no,” you said cautiously, but firmly. “i’m just not looking for anything at the moment.”

“it doesn’t have to be something,” he insisted, his tone sounded flirty, but he still held your arm. “just have a drink with me.” his eyes flickered to the beer you had abandoned.

you weren’t born yesterday, and you certainly trusted your instincts, which were screaming that this guy was no good. “i’m not some college girl you can bat your lashes at and get in her pants,” you said steadily, despite your pounding heart. “let go before i tell the bartender you're out here spiking people’s drinks. or better yet, i'll just call the cops?”

your threat lingered in the air and cal narrowed his eyes.

he flexed his fingers tighter around your bicep before releasing it. your skin prickled where he had held you.

without another look at him, you pushed your way through the crowd and down to the bar. you gave a quick goodbye to your coworkers before you left.

when you stepped out onto the street, you dug into your pocket for a pack of smokes. it was a bad habit you'd picked up since you found out john was alive.

you lit a cigarette and took a long drag before you let out a shaky breath.

the hairs on the back your neck stood up suddenly and you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched.

turning around, you saw cal, still standing where you'd left him on the rooftop. another man stood with him, now. he was frowning and talking to cal, who was scowling down at you, his mouth twisted bitterly.

you gave him the finger before taking another drag from your cigarette and walking down the street in the direction of your flat.

the music from the bar began to fade as your frustration grew.

you felt like you couldn't catch a break lately. you stumbled a little as you rounded the corner, still a considerable distance from your place.

until that moment, you hadn't realized how drunk you were.

you groaned, running a hand through your hair. it'd been years since you were hungover, but you knew for certain, that's what awaited you in the morning.

a small scuffling sound behind you caught your attention and you glanced over your shoulder.

ice traveled quickly through your veins when you saw cal and his buddy walking further up the street behind you.

they weren't even trying to be subtle, as they joked and laughed, following you from the bar.

panic streaked through you, the cigarette tumbled from your hand.

you began digging in your purse for...what?

you remembered the little revolver that john got you years ago, but you quit carrying it with you after his funeral.

you cursed and pawed through your bag.

either you were speaking louder than you intended to, in your drunken state, or your voice carried down the empty street because cal called out from behind you.

“what's the matter, baby?” he called. “we're just looking for a little company.”

his friend said something, his voice too low for you to hear, and the two of them laughed again.

your heart was beating in your ears, and you grabbed your wallet.

your subconscious must’ve known what you were looking for, because, without thinking you had pulled out the crumpled old paper that gaz had given to you over a year ago.

with trembling hands, you pulled out your phone and began to dial.

holding the phone to your ear, you heard it ring once, twice, three times before... “hello?”

“kyle,” you choked out, trying to keep your voice low. “i need help.”

part 7

masterlist

—-

TAGLIST:

@fruitymoonbeams-blog @evergreenfields @galactict3a @who-needs-to-sleep @misscherry-26

[maybe-boys-do-love]

The emerging transness of Smells Like Green Spirit is so intimate and accurate, it hurtsssssssssssss.

It's the way Mishima CAN'T pull off boy clothes...but suddenly makes perfect sense when she's in her girlie tops and shorts. And it's the way Mishima walks and holds herself. And in the moments Kirino's not trying to pass, it's in her body, too. And it's Kirino and Mishima's queer voices!!! Not voice-trained femme or prepubescent puberty blocker voices, these are t-girl voices and I love them so dearly! (My ex got asked to audition for HS's part in Euphoria based on her insta and immediately got passed over when they heard her voice lol.) It's in being able to spot the queerness of people who can pass! And it's in the joy of confessing trans things to someone for the first time! It's in their stolen make-up experiments! And wondering if they like girls or just want to look like them! And weird tastes in super masculine men! And sure, it's also in the bullying and the dissociation, but it's also being vulgar and ridiculous and running around laughing when you find someone who gets it.

I never imagined we'd get a show like this. Casey Plett and Imogen Binnie have delivered some great trans-realist fiction, and in Japan, you've got the iflm Funeral Parade of the Roses as a really cool and identity-complicating trans* predecessor from the 1960s, but I just can't believe I get to see and hear a trans girl coming-of-age story that isn't trying to preach at me. Smells Like Green Spirit is just letting us watch these precious trans eggs hatch. And it doesn't seem like it'll be easy or even necessarily end happily *fingers crossed so tightly*, but the amount of detail delivered by this show is coming from an intimate place of knowledge, which gives me so much hope.

[cadmium-free]

Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) - Watched on August 5, 2023

It spirals to its inevitable conclusion. We revisit a moment, a scene. A little more plays out, we step back or step forward. We live transfixed in a moment. Sometimes a scene mirrors another, it's all the same but with different details. There is no escaping fate, we can only be sucked closer and closer to our inevitable conclusion.

Stop Making Sense (1984) - Watched on October 5, 2023

I genuinely don’t think this needs any explanation or justification at all. I could watch it over and over and over and over and over.

Possession (1981) - Watched on October 17, 2023

It took me three sittings to get through this film and I wasn’t sure I liked it immediately after I finished it. And then it just simmered in my mind for days and weeks after until it finally clicked into place. I love the way Sam Neill moves in this. Everyone comments on the haunting way Isabelle Adjani looks directly into the camera, and yea. Yeah. Ok. Yeah. Yeah.

The Devils (1971) - Watched on June 26, 2023

I thought going into it with the full knowledge of Urbain Grandier would defang it, and perhaps this did soften the blow a bit, but it's audacious, frenzied, sensual. You get tangled up in its themes, its sensations, its torture.

Dog Day Afternoon (1975) - Watched on January 13, 2023

This set off a brief and ferocious obsession with Al Pacino. I have a strained relationship with films based on true crimes, but this slides past my qualms, perhaps just on the strength of the fact John Wojtowicz himself did write a review of it.

Bound (1996) - Watched on April 5 and August 19, 2023

The way Corky and Violet can come together with genuine trust so quickly. The way Ceaser can misunderstand Violet so fundamentally. The literal betrayal in realising who someone is.

Häxan (1922) - Watched on October 27, 2023

The 1922 equivalent of a Youtube video essay where a guy is like, "Guys, I just learned a bunch of fucked up facts about witches and witch trials. I think maybe we just execute women for being poor and mentally ill. Also aren't mental institutions a bit fucked up?" but like, a bit hornier than you would expect for the subject.

Cruising (1980) - Watched on January 17, 2023

It’s all about looking and being noticed. The camera is looking. Al Pacino is looking. The men are looking. And the ambiguity of the gaze and the plot.

Pontypool (2008) - Watched on October 4, 2023

It's a film about words. It's a film about broadcasting from a radio station and seeing nothing. Our imagination fills in the visual gaps. It's so much more horrifying to be piecing everything together from the safety of a recording booth.

The Lair of the White Worm (1988) - Watched on February 1, 2023

Hugh Grant—looking like a lesbian—who is a freaky little rich boy who believes in cryptids, Peter Capaldi—looking like a lesbian—sucking snake venom from a neck bite, an incredibly sexy snake woman with a house full of snake stuff, a giant snake puppet, surreal dream sequences, the coolest game of snakes and ladders ever made, snake dicks, weaponised bagpipe music, homoeroticism, and giant strap-ons.

Ravenous (1999) - Watched on October 19, 2023

This film is so offbeat and strange. It has the strange feel of a comedy, while being a really understandably grim depiction of cannibalism as manifestation of greed, expansionism, and colonization. I kept having these moments of shock that this was a studio movie, that studios were willing to make this film that so thoroughly deconstructs the American mythology.

Penda's Fen (1974) - Watched on July 6, 2023

The first movie in a long time that has made me feel as though I need to pick it apart like an essay, to rewatch multiple times and take notes and repeat sentences until I’ve done a thorough analysis. I've never had a film hit me in quite this way before.

[glitteredbubbles]

Intro post!!

Fanfic Masterlist | Current WIPs

Hi!! You can call me Zoë, and my pronouns are she/her :)

(last updated 6/19/2025)

Some prominent facts about me:

- I’m a demisexual lesbian who posts occasionally and mainly reblogs stuff I find visually appealing

- For positionality context, I am a white cis USAmerican woman (specifically from the south; I have a love/hate relationship with it)

- I am undiagnosed but suspect I am somewhere on the autism spectrum

- I am a fanfic writer!! You can find my ao3 account here

- I consume a LOT of media; I mainly watch a lot movies, read a lot of books, and listen to a lot of music, though I am trying to get into TV shows more

- I enjoy asks and DMs! We don’t have to be mutuals, just don’t be weird :)

- I do not have a tagging system really; I mainly use my tags as an extra space to rant so this is like the Wild West (you can find fandom specific posts usually through ship names like Anderperry or Reddie)

- DNIs: if you’re homophobic, a nazi, transphobic, a terf, ableist, an ed/pro-ana tumblr account, fatphobic, racist, a white supremacist, anti-semitic, a zionist, misogynist, a conservative, or if you’re just mean tbh. I can and will block anyone who gives me bad vibes so keep that in mind when interacting <3

Fandoms:

- Dead Poets Society (mainly Anderperry)

- IT (mainly Reddie)

- I have other fandoms that I write for/have written for which I’m not super active in like The Batman, Stranger Things, and The Goldfinch

- I also have fandoms that I’ve only read fanfic for that I’m not super involved in that I could geek out about like The Maze Runner, Detroit: Become Human, One Direction, Criminal Minds, Heartstopper, etc.

Interests:

Music:

- I listen to practically every genre (besides post-9/11 country music), but I tend to gravitate more towards sad indie, 1970s folk, or instrumental score music!

- For example, some of my favorites are Sufjan Stevens, Mitski, Bon Iver, Ethel Cain, Black Country New Road, Lucy Dacus, Radiohead, Adrienne Lenker, Elliott Smith, Car Seat Headrest, Fleetwood Mac, Simon & Garfunkel, Nick Drake, Talking Heads, George Harrison, Al Green, Tia Blake, Labi Siffre, Emile Mosseri, Masayoshi Takanaka, Philip Glass, Masakatsu Takagi, Colin Stetson, Jonny Greenwood, Aphex Twin, Mort Garson, Mamman Sani, etc.

Books:

- I prefer to read literary fiction (particularly realistic fiction), but I also try to read a good amount of poetry and nonfiction as well! (If you want to be mutuals on Storygraph, DM me!)

- My favorite books of all time are Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, The Little Prince, The Song of Achilles, The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Catcher in the Rye, Crush, The Virgin Suicides, Beloved, The Secret History, The Color Purple, The Awakening, Devotions, The Giver, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Book Thief, The Goldfinch, There There, Giovanni’s Room, The Bluest Eye, Gorilla My Love, and The Dream of a Common Language!!

Movies:

- I’ll watch any and everything, although my personal taste leans towards coming-of-age, queer, weird, sad, and/or arthouse cinema. (If you want to be mutuals on Letterboxd, DM me!)

- Some of my favorite movies are Where Is the Friend’s House?, Little Miss Sunshine, Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, Perfect Blue, The Company of Strangers, Swiss Army Man, Being John Malkovich, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Dead Poets Society, Parasite, the Spiderverse movies, Her, Moonlight, The Holdovers, The Favourite, City of God, La Haine, Kung Fu Panda, But I’m a Cheerleader, The Lego Batman Movie, Videodrome, Funny Games, My Own Private Idaho, Happy Together, Daisies, Tampopo, The Last Black Man in San Francisco, Vive L’Amour, the Muppet movies, Funeral Parade of Roses; the list could go on and on and on haha.

TV Shows:

- I don’t watch a lot of TV, but I usually prefer shows with tight-knit plots that don’t drag on for too many seasons. I also like game shows and cartoons! (If you want to be mutuals on Serializd, DM me!)

- Some of my favorite shows are Avatar: The Last Airbender, Jeopardy, I Am Not Okay With This, Stranger Things (specifically the first two seasons), Smiling Friends, Fellow Travelers, Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared, The Amazing World of Gumball, Young Royals, Over the Garden Wall, Pen15, The Bear, Heartstopper, Bob’s Burgers, Reservation Dogs, Barry, etc.

Video Games:

- I am definitely not a gamer, but I spent much of my adolescence watching gaming YouTubers play and live out my dreams of completing games I couldn’t afford. I mainly love indie games and also Nintendo franchises!

- Some of my favorite video games are Stardew Valley, Life is Strange, Zelda (both BOTW and TOTK), Inside, Detroit: Become Human, Papers Please, Overcooked 2, MySims Agents, Until Dawn, Sonic Adventure DX, Zelda Wind Waker, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Kirby’s Return to Dreamland, Unpacking, fnaf, etc.

Miscellaneous Interests:

- I’m into a lot of random stuff that doesn’t really fall under the other categories, so I’m putting it all here!

- Paul Dano, Smosh, crocheting, physical media collection, Game Grumps, Letterboxd, making sad edits, Ayo Edebiri, drawing occasionally, Drew Gooden, slay graphic tees, Criterion Collection, flavored lemonade, Louis Tomlinson, sour candy, looking up the definition of words, Mary Oliver, making time-accurate playlists, going to concerts (I’ve been to 26 so far), etc.

Challenges:

- Because I am insane, I have dedicated myself to random challenges just because I can. Right now, I’m trying to read a book (35/200), watch a movie (73/200), and listen to an album (32/200) from every country! I’m also trying to watch a movie for every year cinema has existed just because (90/125). As a rule of thumb, I usually try to read 44 books every year (21/44) since that’s the goal I’ve kept since 2022!

- If you have any suggestions/recommendations for any of my challenges, please tell me! Even if I’ve read/seen/heard something from that country, I still like adding stuff to my list to consume later!

Posts I’m proud of:

To end this, here are some posts I’m happy with/want to keep track of!

- Showed my friend DPS | DPS hot takes | DPS journey

- Homophobic little brother part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

- Yearning web weaving | not yourself web weaving | religious trauma web weaving

- 2024 movie recs | top 10 movies in gifs | top 100 movies | Letterboxd lists | weird movie recs | Eastern Europe movie recs

- Fanfic excerpt | 10k hits on my fic | fanfic connection | how I imagined Anderperry in my fic | fanfic “or” statements | fanfic asks part 1, part 2

- Media consumption final boss | Mitski uquiz | fake idgafer | doomed narrative yaoi

- Personal poem part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

- Music recs part 1, part 2, part 3 (new wave) | best film scores | my Spotify daylist titles

[cristalconnors]

TOP 10 NEW TO ME FILMS OF 2024

I was tagged by the fabulous @chinchillasorchildren to share my top ten new-to-me watches of 2024. I excluded both 2023 and 2024 releases. Much love to Consuming Spirits, dir. Chris Sullivan (2012), The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, dir. Ronald Neame (1969) and El Sur, dir. Victor Erice (1983) which each narrowly missed this list. I tag YOU 💜 😘

AT BERKELEY, dir. Frederick Wiseman (2013)

BLISSFULLY YOURS, dir. Apichatpong Weerasethakul (2002)

BRINGING UP BABY, dir. Howard Hawks (1938)

A CITY OF SADNESS, dir. Hou Hsiao-hsien (1989)

CURE, dir. Kiyoshi Kurosawa (1997)

DEMONLOVER, dir. Olivier Assayas (2002)

FUNERAL PARADE OF ROSES, dir. Toshio Matsumoto (1969)

LATE SPRING, dir. Yasujirō Ozu (1949)

MY BRILLIANT CAREER, dir. Gillian Armstrong (1979)

TROPICAL MALADY, dir. Apichatpong Weerasethakul (2004)

[mrsmiroir]

a huge part of my personality is that i fucking love funeral parade of roses.

[valaenatargaryensdragon]

What would happen to Baelon and his mother after Maegor dies?

Baelon spent his entire life watching his mother suffer and attempting to save her. Maegor was the main reason for her suffering and he hated him for it but he was still his father.

Baelon would do everything in his power to keep the throne for himself because then his mother would be the Queen mother and no other woman would suppress her power. Baelon is no idiot though and knows his cousins would try to take the thrones.

Maegor’s wish did come true and Baelon does claim Balerion the black dread and that was his biggest advantage to the throne. Baelon’s first move was to win the people over by throwing festivities and doing charities. Even going as far as letting peasants into the Red Keep to meet him personally. Baelon knows that power comes with respect not fear.

Then his next move is to end the feud with his cousins and that ensues with his marriage to Alysanne, this way he unites the family once more, his uncle’s blood will be on the throne, his uncle’s wife will not be able to harm him seeing as he is her son in law and also his mother would accept the marriage since marrying cousins was not seen as incest.

Baelon is not cruel and knows that Alysanne is still a child so he vows in their private quarters that he will not touch her before she is of age and ready. Baelon however made it very clear that he plans on resuming the blood line and having children and Alysanne was on board considering the fact that I vision her mother convincing her to bring heirs to the throne so their blood would rise to the throne.

Baelon is a strong king, however he is both brains and muscle, he uses strategy to ensure wining the Dornish war instead of battle like Maegor. The second his firstborn was confirmed to be a daughter who named Vaenora he travels to Dorne to make a marriage pact later on known as the sun and moon marriage alliance for Vaenora’s hair was compared to the moon in color once she married the Dornish prince and moved to live in Dorne.

Baelon is a traditional man so his three daughter Vaenora, Saelys and Elaenerys were pushed back in line for the throne in favor of their younger brother Rhaelor. Baelon and Alysanne were blessss with seven children, after their three daughter and son they were blessed with twin daughters named Lucenya and Daegelle followed by a son named Aelyx. After they had the heir and spare they ceased having anymore children.

Baelon was the king to unite the seven kingdoms by ensuring to marry his five daughter to five different kingdoms, Vaenora to Dorne, Saelys to the Stormlands, Elaenerys to the North, Lucenya to the mountain and the Vale, and Daegelle to the Reach. His eldest son and heir married from the rock and his youngest for the isles and rivers. Baelon was a smart kind yet a strong one, not one to shy from a fight or a war, always joining the tourneys until his age betrayed him and winning almost every time and never failing to crown his lady wife Queen Alysanne his Queen of love and beauty never once embarrassing her in public or private.

Baelon’s mother’s wish if him falling in love never came true but Baelon was content with his wife and children. He never complained and he never once disrespected them or made them feel less than Queen and Princesses and princes.

His mother passed away during his tenth year as king failing to meet his five youngest children. Baelon gave his mother a funeral that will be remembered for centuries to come. Her body was dressed in the purest of whites, silks and laces. A crown of winter flowers upon her head and a bouquet of roses in her hands. Every finger adorned with rings of all shapes and sizes that were hiring with her.

Her corpse was paraded around the streets for people to pay respect with him in the lead with his crown on his head. A crown she had designed herself for him and placed on his head during his wedding as a gift. Alysanne flew her dragon above their heads before meeting Baelon at the Sept and witnessing the funeral. Baelon never truly recovered from her death. He build a statue of his mother in the gardens of the keep and was usually found their during hard times. Some servants swore they heard him talk to the statue, asking for advise.

Baelon went on to be loved and respected as a son, husband, father and king.

[warvariations]

I was looking up movies about swers and found Bliss and felt so strange to recognise you parasocially!

Did you enjoy the film and are there any that you’d recommend?

I loved shooting the film, I worked really hard on it, I did some styling and writing for my character too but I will never do styling and acting at the same time again, I learned the hard way. But there were ISSUES. Lots of drama. Unfortunately I can't disclose because it's like a big deal and there was almost a lawsuit and ppl lost jobs over it.

Films about swers mm. Besides the obvious tangerine and anora.. breakfast at Tiffany's? Haha it's been 20 years since I watched it though. Oh omg there's a sex worker in Baise-moi which is one of my favorite films. Funeral parade of roses. Unfortunately I don't watch a lot of films...

[angstics]

QUEER FILM SUMMER CONTINUES: this week, we'll be watching FUNERAL PARADE OF ROSES (1969) dir. toshio matsumoto. set in the gay nightlife of post-occupation tokyo, documentary and experimental filmmaking blend narrative and reality as we follow twisted love stories, sexual exploits, war protests interspersed by interviews & meta commentary... from the clips and reviews ive seen, it's a very funny film. i advise checking content warning for this one (generally: violence and sexual content).

the livestream will be MONDAY MAY 13 at 7PM EST (4pm pst / may 14, 12am bst).

JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER HERE.

[indie-queer-movie-tournament]

Entries List (which I will keep updated)

Anything in bold has propaganda

Alex Strangelove (2018)

Alice Junior (Alice Júnior) (2019)

A Moment in the Reeds (Tämä hetki kaislikossa) (2017)

A Single Man (2009)

And Then We Danced (და ჩვენ ვიცეკვეთ) (2019)

Beach Rats (2017)

Big Eden (2000)

BPM (Beats Per Minute) (2017)

Blue is the Warmest Colour (La Vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2) (2013)

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

Booksmart (2019)

Bottoms (2023)

Bound (1996)

Boys (Jongens) (2014)

Boys Don’t Cry (1999)

Breakfast with Scot (2007)

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)

Camp (2003)

Can You Ever Forgive Me (2018)

Carol (2015)

Call Me By Your Name (2017)

Center of My World (Die Mitte der Welt) (2016)

Chasing Amy (1997)

Closet Monster (2015)

Cloudburst (2011)

Colette (2018)

Crash (1996)

Crush (2022)

Dating Amber (2020)

D.E.B.S. (2004)

Desert Hearts (1984)

Disobedience (2017)

Duck Butter (2018)

Edge of Seventeen (1998)

Elephant (Słoń) (2022)

Esteros (2016)

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

Fire Island (2022)

Freak Show (2017)

Funeral Parade of Roses (薔薇の葬列) (1969)

Get Real (1998)

God’s Own Country (2017)

Grandma (2015)

Handsome Devil (2016)

Happiest Season (2020)

Happy Together (春光乍洩) (1997)

Hearts Beat Loud (2018)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

I Can't Think Straight (2008)

I Dream in Another Language (Sueño en otro idioma) (2017)

I Killed My Mother (2009)

I Love You Phillip Morris (2009)

In & Out (1997)

Jenny's Wedding (2015)

Je Tu Il Elle (1974)

Kajillionaire (2020)

Kill Your Darlings (2013)

Kinky Boots (2005)

Latter Days (2003)

Longtime Companion (1989)

Mario (2018)

Maurice (1987)

Milk (2008)

Moonlight (2016)

Mosquita Y Mari (2012)

Mulholland Drive (2001)

My Beautiful Laundrette (1985)

Mysterious Skin (2004)

Nina's Heavenly Delights (2006)

North Sea Texas (Noordzee, Texas) (2011)

Operation Hyacinth (Hiacynt) (2021)

Pariah (2011)

Patrik Age 1.5 (Patrik 1,5) (2008)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (Portrait de la jeune fille en feu) (2019)

Princess Cyd (2017)

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017)

Rafiki (2018)

Rūrangi (2020)

Saving Face (2005)

Selah and the Spades (2019)

Shiva Baby (2020)

Sorry Angel (Plaire, Aimer et Courir Vite) (2018)

Straight Up (2019)

Swan Song (2021)

Tangerine (2015)

Tár (2022)

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994)

The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant (Die Bitteren Tränen Der Petra Von Kant) (1972)

The Bubble (הב��עה) (2006)

The Conformist (Il conformista) (1970)

The Feels (2017)

The Half of It (2020)

The Handmaiden (아가씨) (2016)

The Kids Are All Right (2010)

The Lost Boys (Le Paradis) (2023)

The Meetings of Anna (Les Rendez-vous d'Anna) (1978)

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018)

The Power of the Dog (2021)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

The Strong Ones (Los fuertes) (2019)

The Watermelon Woman (1996)

The Way He Looks (Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho) (2014)

The 10 Year Plan (2014)

Tomboy (2011)

Totally Fucked Up (1993)

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995)

Transamerica (2005)

Water Lillies (Naissance des Pieuvres) (2007)

Yossi & Jagger (יוסי וג'אגר) (2002)

You, Me and Him (2017)

[captainpetebradshaw]

movie diary 2024

Last year's diary I posted in mid-January. Oh well, life is unpredictable.

As always this is only every movie that was new to me and no rewatches. With 123 it's 22 movies fewer than last year but I also rewatched all of the X-Men and Deadpool movies, Challengers and Conclave a couple times and Deadpool & Wolverine at least as many times as fingers on my hand ;)

Full list under the cut, I bolded my favorites:

001 Saltburn

002 Monster (2023)

003 The Boy and the Heron

004 Trevor Noah: Where Was I

005 No Hard Feelings

006 Das Lehrerzimmer

007 The Marvels

008 Freelance

009 Wir waren in der AfD - Aussteiger berichten

010 Next Goal Wins

011 The Holdovers

012 Anyone But You

013 Poor Things

014 Anatomy of a Fall

015 Dune: Part Two

016 The Zone of Interest

017 American Fiction

018 All of Us Strangers

019 Players

020 Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game

021 Migration

022 tick, tick...BOOM!

023 Argylle

024 The Little Mermaid (2023)

025 Dream Scenario

026 Mean Girls (2024)

027 Wicked Little Letters

028 Enemy Mine

029 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

030 Ricky Stanicky

031 C'mon C'mon

032 Hundreds of Beavers

033 The Iron Claw

034 Morbius

035 Madame Web

036 The Fall Guy

037 Problemista

038 Twister

039 Challengers

040 Mars Express

041 The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

042 Godzilla Minus One

043 Ferrari

044 Robot Dreams

045 Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

046 Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

047 Red, White & Royal Blue

048 BL Metamorphosis

049 Love Lies Bleeding

050 Roter Himmel

051 Dear Ex

052 Housekeeping for Beginners

053 Am I OK?

054 Funeral Parade of Roses

055 My Summer of Love

056 Bound

057 Hit Man

058 Wochenendrebellen

059 Kinds of Kindness

060 IF

061 Civil War

062 The Bikeriders

063 Alienoid

064 Twisters

065 Alienoid: Return to the Future

066 Deadpool & Wolverine

067 Beverly Hills Cop II

068 Teen Wolf

069 Red, White & Brass

070 Point Break

071 Red vs. Blue: Restoration

072 Save the Green Planet!

073 Jackpot!

074 The First Slam Dunk

075 Fly Me to the Moon

076 Midnight Runners

077 Inside Out 2

078 Borderlands

079 Boy Kills World

080 RoboCop

081 Dìdi

082 Despicable Me 4

083 How To Make Milions Before Grandma Dies

084 Bad Boys: Ride or Die

085 Omni Loop

086 Entertainment Made by Cults

087 Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

088 Wolfs

089 Waitress

090 Dark Phoenix

091 Mad God

092 MaXXXine

093 The Faculty

094 Lisa Frankenstein

095 The Happiness of the Katakuris

096 Transformers One

097 A Quiet Place: Day One

098 Venom: The Last Dance

099 Exhuma

100 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

101 MadS

102 Bumblebee

103 Transformers

104 My Cousin Vinny

105 My Old Ass

106 The Wild Robot

107 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

108 Gladiator II

109 Emilia Pérez

110 Anora

111 Conclave

112 Woman of the Hour

113 Kneecap

114 Dear Santa

115 The Wizard of Oz

116 Wicked

117 Carry-On

118 It's a Wonderful Life

119 Elf

120 The Santa Clause

121 Red One

122 The Holiday

123 Four Rooms

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2023-12-04

ah fuck the mondaypost

Listening: I have been going back through some of @kelp-of-discontent's recs that I've saved and not gone back to. Great taste! Here's Pool Kids's Pool Kids

I always love the unmoored feeling good math rock gives you and this really lands that.

Watching: Double Features, 1) Bara no Soretsu/Funeral Parade of Roses because @thosearentcrimes has been trying to get us to watch that forever and we finally just sat down and watched it on yes the extremely funny ultrawide monitor that was being used as my TV.

Bara no Soretsu is very good in that arthouse way where it's very unpolished and has some very out there ideas about what makes a good movie but executes on it earnestly and with a goal. It's a combination of a movie about transgender women in the underground gay men's scene in 60's japan loosely based on the myth of Oedipus and also a documentary following the actors as they make this movie, in a way that makes it kind of hard to tell when something is meant to be the movie and when it's meant to be the documentary.

It's very uh. Challenging? It's honestly less tragic than I was expecting and it's mostly just a fascinating look into this very specific time and place. The interviews are priceless, a trans woman very straight facedly looking into the camera when asked "are you having a good time" and going "no, but I'm going to keep doing it". 10/10

Also Tomb Raider but the 2001 Angelina Jolie one. An impromptu pick for Bad Movie Night because we had an empty house and didn't want to burn a good bad movie. Tomb Raider is most interesting in how it approaches shooting action which is to say that it's mostly not good at it but has brief moments of inspiration. A very generic action adventure story otherwise, featuring young Daniel Craig as a prettyboy graverobber counterpart to Lara Croft. They made Angelina Jolie do an English accent and she just could not do it.

Reading: The other short stories that came along with Story of Your Life by Ted Chiang. Tower of Babylon is a fun atmospheric story of the Ancient Sumerians building a tower to breach the vault of heaven. Division by Zero is a very compelling depiction of a mathematician going insane because she has proven arithmetic to be inconsistent, which is notably not accompanied by any material changes in the world around her, which I liked.

Making: Mostly preparatory. I have a few project I've been sketching out, including hacking my own controller onto a WS2812 LED string and automating my radiators. The stepper motors and the string arrived today. Looking into exprTK, an expression evaluation library that should be suitable for my needs, and the ESP32 RMT subsystem which is a cute little mini-DSP and modulator built into the ESP32 ostensibly for IR Remote Control but frequently used now to quickly and efficiently implement all manner of protocols.

Playing: More Dark Souls, although less this week because I've been doing other things. still working around Darkroot Basin but I really haven't been there long. The ents are a real pain in the ass when paired with the knights, not because they're very hard but because you just have to wait for them to jump you.

Tools and Equipment: a new AMD GPU tuning utility for Linux was released a little while ago, LACT, which has a much simpler interface than some of the older tuning utilities. I like it, especially since I was doing some fan noise tuning after I installed the new network card and being able to just hit the fan speed with a slider was convenient.

[glitteredbubbles]

I watched like 442 movies this year so here’s my fav for every month (I’m only counting first watches, not rewatches):

January: honorable mentions are Good Morning (1959) and Daisies (1966), but I think La Haine (1995) wins for my fav! It was just SO intense like I couldn’t look away.

February: honorable mentions are Tongues Untied (1989) and You Got to Move (1985), but Vive L’Amour (1994) ends up being my pick for this month. One of the best depictions of queer longing and loneliness I’ve seen!!

March: honorable mentions are The Holdovers (2023) and Desert Hearts (1985), but I think City of God (2002) is the best film I watched for that month. It was such an intense and incredible movie like idk how to describe it.

April: honorable mentions are Eraserhead (1977) and 3 Idiots (2009), but The Human Condition I: No Greater Love (1959) wins simply because it’s one of the best movies ever. Such a significant piece of history and I need to see the other two parts soon!

May: honorable mentions are Stop Making Sense (1984) and Zerograd (1988), but Where Is the Friend’s House? (1987) wins because it’s like my fav movie of all time. So incredibly simple and sweet!!

June: honorable mentions are Taste of Cherry (1997) and The Favourite (2018), but Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) wins for this month. A super experimental and important queer film!

July: honorable mentions are Taking Off (1971) and The Great Muppet Caper (1981), but Videodrome (1983) wins because I love weird and freak films!

August: honorable mentions are Farewell My Concubine (1993) and When the Cat Comes (1963), but The Company of Strangers (1990) wins for this month because it’s one of my fav films ever! Such a beautiful film about getting older that’s an ode to old and overlooked women!

September: honorable mentions are A Dog’s Will (2000) and The Official Story (1985), but The Wolf House (2018) wins because it’s quite literally the most unique film I’ve ever seen. So unnerving and incredible!

October: honorable mentions are The Fly (1986) and Güeros (2014), but The Happiness of the Katakuris (2001) wins because it was such a unique and fun film! The fact that it was a musical totally took me by surprise lmao.

November: honorable mentions are Perfumed Nightmare (1977) and Five Broken Cameras (2011), but Black Girl (1966) wins because the message and delivery was so impactful for me!

December: honorable mentions are Spencer (2021) and Nosferatu (2024), but The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) wins even though the whole incest thing was insane. The sentiments within this film and the quirkiness really worked for me, plus one of the best soundtracks ever!

[xbadgerbearx]

chapter ?: bonus

word count: 855

Sonata in Darkness: ... [9]

“Isn’t that just terrible? Him raining on your parade like that? What is it they say? One day you’re on top…the next, you’re a clown. Well, let me tell you…there are worse things to be…”

The Riddle shrinked to the floor after wailing over his failure. He cried and as he became unresponsive. 

“Don’t be sad,” the voice beside his cell cooed. “You did…you did so well. I heard you didn’t get the girl, but that’s okay. Because you know, Gotham loves a comeback story…”

The Riddler slowly rose to his feet and peered through the bars of his enclosure. “Who…who are you? How…” The Riddler’s face twisted in confusion. “How did you know…?”

“Well, that’s the question, isn’t it?” The unseen man paused before continuing, “Riddle me this…the less of them you have, the more one is worth.”

The Riddler pondered for a moment before slowly brightening up. Hopefully, he answered, “A friend…?”

The unseen man began to laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and soon the Riddle followed gleefully while horrible ideas brewed in his mind.

The man’s words echoed in his head…

He didn’t get the girl, but that’s okay. Gotham loves a comeback story.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Batman was busy helping rebuild Gotham. It helped to throw himself at his work, that way he didn’t have the time to think of you. He was currently exhausted and resting at Wayne Towers. He barely sat in his chair before his phone buzzed. Checking it, his heart swelled when your name popped up. It had been a few days since he last spoke to you. He still didn’t know your name, so he had you added as “Rat <3.” 

I’m sorry! Something came up…

Would dinner work?

Dinner sounds perfect. I’ll let you know on the date soon.

Speaking of dates, am I finally going to learn the name of my mystery date?

Mmmm sorry, I guess you’ll have to find out at dinner ;)

…

I’m guessing we aren’t going to get that dinner anytime soon…

So I thought I’d tell you my name, but only if you confirm something for me.

Got it?

Bruce raised his brow at the message, but he missed you so much that he’d be willing to say just about anything to continue a conversation with you.

Yeah, sure. Anything.

His heart raced as he watched the three little dots move to indicate that you were typing. He meant what he said too.

I just want to say that this will stay between us, okay?

Our little secret :) 

You sure you want to know? Because then you’d HAVE to tell me the truth…

Bruce smiled at your message before answering.

I promise to tell you the truth.

Bruce’s smile widened when you replied with your name. It was pretty and he thought it suited you nicely, which he made sure to message you. He quietly whispered it to himself to see how it would sound, but then quickly stopped upon realizing how cringe he was acting. He was Batman! Batman doesn’t act like he’s in love or anything… right? God, he was going crazy.

Thank you, Batman ;)

His heart stopped and he froze immediately. His smile fell just as quickly. How…what? How did you…? He took several minutes to think. He did promise that he would confirm something for you and tell you the truth, but that would be telling someone of his secret identity. It’s called a secret identity for a reason. But if he lied, then he probably wouldn’t forgive himself. Plus, it would be so much easier to just tell you instead of dance around it. He must have taken too long to respond, because he could see you typing again.

I know that it might sound crazy, but I’m pretty sure that I’m right.

I mean, there were a couple clues that pointed to you, but there was one big one.

…

You were oddly nice to me at Mitchell’s funeral, and even asked me out. That doesn’t seem like something a billionaire would do to just anybody.

And when the bombs went off, you were super protective. A normal person would have been running away, but you didn’t. 

And when Batman (yes, you) and I were on the tower, he asked why Falcone would take me with him to the funeral. Batman wouldn’t have known…unless he was you.

Bruce just stared at his phone a little numbly. He felt so stupid; how did he not cover his tracks better? 

The icing on the cake is that I’ve kissed both Bruce Wayne and Batman… 

They’re like the same, haha.

Bruce slowly started to laugh. It started quietly, but quickly he was actually laughing. He rolled his eyes in amusement. 

Alright, you’ve caught me Ms. Detective.

I’m impressed.

I knew it!!!

We really do need to meet up for dinner now, you need to tell me everything.

He smiled at your excitement. It felt strangely good for someone else to know his secret, someone other than Alfred. Maybe he could see you more because of it. Bruce quickly typed back, secretly excited and filled with content.

It’s a date :)

[electricalpylon]

top 5 artists? (like art in general not specifically music)

in no particular order

i have a huge love for Henri Matisse, dance and Icarus are like 2 of my favorite artworks ever, I got a copy of Jazz for my birthday and its kind of insane how good his printmaking is, I am a Matisse dickrider forever

I love a lot of the paintings of Francisco Goya (Saturn devouring his son guy) witches' flight specifically is a perfect painting to me. he has a lot of really odd lore about him and is just a very interesting artist in general

David Lynch both as a director and as a painter, kind of a controversial painter but I really like the stuff he makes. specifically Rat Meat Bird. I think the idea of using meat as a part of a painting is really interesting, says something about representations and the treachery of images, whatever. I also love Angriest Dog in the World.

Toshio Matsumoto is a really interesting one, director of Funeral Parade of Roses and creator of a lot of really fascinating art films. Japanese new wave is pretty cool to me. shout-out For My Crushed Right Eye

Myrlande Constant Is a Haitian textile artist who makes these incredibly beautiful tapestries. I had the privilege of seeing her exhibition entitled The Work of Radiance in person last year. I love the images she creates and what she chooses to represent in her work. extremely strong technical artist.