#I live for characters who are missing pieces of themselves/empty in some way or other | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boowanie · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Wonwoo x Reader

Genre: Fluff and angst (!!)

Word count: 7.3k+

Warning(s): Grief, mention of illness, major character death. This one is sad my beans.

Eri’s note 💌: I would love love to hear your feedback on this piece beans 🥺 I hope you all enjoy it!

Summary: You were beautiful and everything Wonwoo deserved but sadly, seasons come and go and so did you.

A wave of nostalgia fills the air when his eyes land on a picture he buried amongst his belongings a couple of years ago. It was a simple picture of you by his side, his smile as big as ever and yours matched his in the sweltering heat of Jeju island. It was a picture taken by a mutual friend who he hasn’t been in contact with in awhile. Despite the years that have passed, a twinge of sadness still pokes at his heart whenever he thinks of you — someone he loved so deeply and someone who loved him as best as they could.

He sighs for the nth time and collects the rest of the pictures he hid in a box so that he could shine a little light on the memories he had left of you and your smile he thought of the most. Mingyu stills by the door as he watches his friend swipe a thumb across a picture of you, his heart aching as much as Wonwoo’s whenever memories of your laughter plays in his mind.

You were beautiful and sweet, someone who was perfect for Wonwoo but life was never going to be that easy. Of course it wasn’t.

“Woo, where do you want me to put this,” Mingyu interrupts, holding up a box of kitchen supplies. Wonwoo places your pictures down on a pile of clothes, some belonging to you, and directs him to the kitchen where a line of boxes stood, waiting to be organised and unpacked.

“Here should be good,” Wonwoo points to an empty spot near the kitchen sink. He leans against the kitchen counter and watches his friend slowly unpack his belongings out of the box. He is truly grateful to have someone like Mingyu. Someone who never urged him to talk about you, knowing how hard it was to cope with losing someone he spent his youth with. Wonwoo sighs again before leaving Mingyu to organise his things.

He returns to the living room and his eyes gazes down at the pictures he left. He takes them in his hands again and for the last time, he brushes his fingers gently across your face and sighs again. “I miss you,” he whispers, bringing the picture to his lips and pecking it softly. Wonwoo walks over to his bedroom and takes out an empty picture frame that was gifted to him by his mother. He places the picture inside and displays it on his nightstand. Wonwoo takes a step back and admires the picture before helping Mingyu unpack the rest of things.

It’s nearing midnight when Mingyu takes his leave. He bids his older friend goodbye and tells him to call him if he needs anything. Wonwoo proceeds to clean up after he leaves, hoping to unpack more things before he calls it a night. But after washing up the dishes they used, Wonwoo’s body slumps forward in exhaustion. He tries to stifle a yawn but as minutes pass by, his body leans to the side and he finally closes his eyes.

That night he dreams of you. The memories he keeps in his heart slowly consumes his dreams as he sees you smiling from afar.

—

Four years ago.

Seungkwan screams in your ear as soon as you step into the house. He catches the attention of the other guys who are also residing in the house. You cover his mouth with your hand and apologise to his housemates. The older guys simply wave you off and welcome you into their house. Seungkwan has a tight hold on you as the guys begin to introduce themselves. You have no idea how you were going to remember their names but you’ll ask Seungkwan to help you later on.

The last person who introduces himself catches your attention. He seems familiar but you brush it off when he gives you a small wave. Seungkwan catches the way your eyes linger on Wonwoo before you put your attention back to your best friend. He wiggles his eyebrows at you, causing your face to heat up in embarrassment.

“We’ll be studying upstairs if you guys need anything,” Seungkwan informs them before dragging you up the stairs in a hurry. When he opens his door, your eyes land on two beds and a large study table you presume he shares with his roommate. Some pictures were stuck on the walls, you noted and a fancy gaming setup was placed on one side of the large study desk.

“That’s Wonwoo’s. Please don’t go anywhere near it unless you have a death wish. The last time I tried to open it for fun, he nearly bit my head off,” Seungkwan announces.

“However, you can use his chair. I doubt he’s gonna come up here to study today,” he pulls over Wonwoo’s gaming chair and places it by your side. You hesitantly take a seat, careful not to do anything to his precious gaming chair. Next, you pull out your books and laptop out of your bag and place them on the study desk next to Seungkwan’s belongings. You both decided to study organic chemistry together. The thoughts of your precious benzene rings and curly arrows were beginning to make you tear up at the mere sight of it.

“Do you have any idea what Professor Lee did today?”

“Nope,” you groan and smack your head with your book. You had no idea why your professor was being the most difficult man when it came to teaching organic chemistry but it was also both your faults for choosing to study science (despite the multiple warnings Seungkwan’s older sister gave you and him).

“How about we ask Wonwoo?” Seungkwan suddenly rises on his feet as if he won the lottery. He proceeds to thump his head with his hand as if he were calling himself dumb.

“How could I forget about Wonwoo?!” he groans out.

“What about him?” you curiously ask, opening your notebook that is filled with structures that haunt you even in your sleep.

“He told me he took this class last year,” he informs you. So he was a year older, you thought. Seungkwan leaves to grab Wonwoo downstairs and you are left nibbling on the top of your pen in stress. After a couple of minutes of waiting, Seungkwan comes back with Wonwoo trailing behind him. His eyes zero in on you sitting on his gaming chair and you instantly squirm under his gaze. He’s surely not going to bite your head off is he? You stand up just in case and you push the gaming chair back to where it was originally placed. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and pushed his gaming chair back to you.

“Whatever this one said, just know he’s overreacting,” Wonwoo points at Seungkwan and shakes his head. You shyly sit back on his chair and he stands by your side since you were the only one with your book opened.

“Ah I know this one,” Wonwoo points at a mechanism you and Seungkwan are currently trying to comprehend. He gestures for your pen and notebook and you hand it to him. Your heartbeat quickens slightly when he leans down to write something in your notebook. He jots down some information on all the structures and curly arrows he draws on your paper and hands them back to you.

“See this one lost water that’s why this is the end product,” he points out. You read the other notes he left in your notebook and you begin to understand the mechanism bit by bit. Seungkwan who is sitting to your right nods along in agreement as he copies down what Wonwoo wrote. He lets out a grateful sound that makes you and Wonwoo look at each other before giggling at your best friend.

“As expected, Wonwoo is the best at everything,” Seungkwan says before nudging your leg with his. Wonwoo catches this and he slowly smiles to himself.

“I’ll be over here if you guys need to ask more questions,” he gestures towards his gaming set up and you instantly feel bad when he grabs another chair from Mingyu’s room.

“You can have this back,” you suddenly tell him when Seungkwan takes a small break to make you and him a small snack in the kitchen. You start to stand up but Wonwoo shakes his head in disagreement.

“No, keep it there. It’ll be easier for your back.”

You wanted nothing more than to combust like the reaction you did in the lab with Seungkwan earlier on.

And that was the first day a small seed of feelings planted its way into Wonwoo’s heart.

—

You encounter the 6ft something man again during a late night in the library where he works at. The cold wind passing through the window near your table was starting to irritate you as each second passed by. But due to your lack of height and shyness to ask the other person near your desk to close it, you chose to endure the cold and tightened your jacket around yourself instead.

Wonwoo is returning the books some students handed to him earlier on when he spots your figure shivering near the large windows of the campus library. He looks around for any sign of Seungkwan and when you continue to rub your arms, he drops the books back on the trolley and makes his way towards you. You don’t notice him when he shuts the window with ease but he does make his presence known when he shrugs off his jumper and hands it to you. You pull out your headphones and tilt your head in confusion.

Wonwoo’s eyes widens when he realises that you may have forgotten who he was.

“It’s Wonwoo, Seungkwan’s roommate,” he quickly says. You giggle in response and nod your head.

“I remember you,” you reassure him. You hold up his jumper and hand it back to him but before you could even stretch out your arm, he pushes the jumper back towards you.

“You’re freezing,” he simply states. This back and forth continues until a student nearby sighs in frustration.

“We get it, you’re both in love with each other so please just take his jumper and be quiet,” the student rolls his eyes before slotting back his headphones over his ears. You and Wonwoo’s eyes widen at his words. You whisper a thank you in his direction before he waves you goodbye.

Seungkwan arrives an hour later and his eyes land on Wonwoo’s jumper that you are wearing underneath your jacket.

“Why are you wearing Wonwoo’s jumper,” he whispers underneath his breath. You rip out a small piece of paper from your notebook and jot down “he offered it to me” in small writing. Seungkwan smirks at you before handing you back the piece of paper.

“I’m surprised he offered you his jumper considering that man can’t stand the cold.”

Your cheeks heat up as you read the words.

Why did he offer you his jumper?

—

“Come on please!” Seungkwan and Dino stand in front of you as they begin to beg you to attend their party. The two barged into your apartment not too long ago with an outfit in hand which you were certain belonged to Jeonghan’s girlfriend. They both rummaged through your closet the night before and without giving it much thought you let them not knowing they were going to ask you to attend their party the following day. You pick up another sushi with your fingers and shove it into your mouth before replying to the boys.

“You both know I don’t do parties,” you casually say, picking up another sushi. The boys watch as you devour another piece before Dino steps forward and grabs the rest of your sushi from the table. You begin to protest but Seungkwan drags you, screaming and all, into your bedroom where the dress lies neatly on your bed.

“Come on yn! How is your love story with Wonwoo gonna progress if you don’t show him what he’s missing out on!”

“First of all, there’s no love story and second, why can’t I just have a peaceful night in with my sushi and dramas,” you flop back on your bed right beside the dress that you decide is the prettiest clothing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Thanks to Jeonghan’s girlfriend who was in on the plan of getting you to come to the party.

“Okay fine. But please come? You barely have any fun unless you’re around us,” Seungkwan flops down beside you and Dino enters your bedroom, munching on your sushi.

“He’s right,” he points out with his chopstick. He swallows his food before running towards you and Seungkwan at full speed. It isn’t long until the younger boy flops his body on top of you and Seungkwan. You groan in pain and push his body off yours. You stand in front of them again and decide to give in to their requests.

The two high five each other before nudging you towards your bathroom.

“Wonwoo is gonna be so happy.”

“No he’s not,” you yell out.

Maybe they were right, maybe Wonwoo is happy to see you because as soon as you stepped into their shared house, he beams at the sight of you which earns a teasing smirk from Dino. He leans close to you and teases you with another “I told you so” before going into the kitchen to grab you a drink.

Wonwoo waves at you slowly and the girl beside him suddenly throws a deathly glare in your direction. He excuses himself and walks over to where you are currently standing. He leans down to give you a small hug and you catch a whiff of his cologne that you grew to like after spending hours and hours with him at the library from time to time. He leans down again to talk to you. The music that Soonyoung and Seungcheol are playing drowns out the words he says into your ear which causes you to lean against him further to hear him better.

“I said I’m surprised dumb and dumber managed to pull you out of your apartment,” his breath slightly tickles your ear and you swear you’ve never been this close to him. You smile at him before tiptoeing to talk to him. You balance yourself by placing your hand on his shoulder and he does the unexpected and places his hand on your waist.

“Dumb and dumber threatened they’d ransack my apartment if I don’t go out,” you giggle in his ear. Seungkwan and Dino watch your interaction with Wonwoo with fond smiles adorning their faces.

“They grow up so fast,” Mingyu states behind them, wiping a fake tear underneath his eye. The three of them laugh before they join their friends who are playing the hongsam game. The level of noise emitting from the kitchen catches your attention and you lean away from Wonwoo to watch the rest of the boys. You laugh when Dokyeom mixes up his own name and Wonwoo watches you with a grin on his face.

He taps your shoulder and offers you his hand. You shyly take his hand in yours before he leads you into the kitchen to play with the boys.

And for the rest of the night, Wonwoo’s hand never leaves yours.

—

The days pass by in a blur. The chilly autumn weather is soon replaced by winter and you wanted nothing more than for summer to come. The last slide Professor Lee presents nearly has you and Seungkwan falling off your chairs in boredom. Your hands are still drawing the structures he was presenting but your mind wanders off to a certain guy who hasn’t left your mind for quite some time. You pass by him on campus from time to time and you get to hang out with him whenever you visit Seungkwan in their shared house. The boys love having you around - some liked to baby you like a little sibling while the rest enjoyed your company. Whenever you aren’t around, the boys teased Wonwoo to the point where he became immune to their teasing.

Once Professor Lee dismisses the class, you and Seungkwan pack your things and hurriedly exit the lecture hall to catch up with your friends who are on their way back to the house. Seungcheol and Jeonghan offered to drive some of you home but they explicitly said “first come, first serve” which is why you and Seungkwan are currently running to the parking lot. You pass by some of your own friends who only chuckle as they watch you and Seungkwan rush down the hallways. You both round another corner and unfortunately for you, you collide with someone as you did. Due to shock, the person grabs your hand and you end up toppling over the person.

You wait for your bodies to hit the floor but only the person’s body clashes with the floor.

“I’m so so so sorry,” you quickly open your eyes and much to your surprise, Wonwoo is laying underneath you in pain. You hurriedly move yourself off him and apologise profusely. He gives you a lopsided smile but he suddenly winces in pain when you touch his shoulder to help him get up. He winces again when he tries to rotate his shoulder and you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you up.

“Woo are you okay?”

“Never been better,” he says through clenched teeth. He tries to hide the pain from you when he waves you off but you hold his hand and guide him to the nurse’s clinic that is situated just a couple of rooms away from where you and him collided. You quickly fish out your phone from your pocket and send a text to Seungkwan about what happened. You tighten your hand around Wonwoo’s when you hear him groan in pain again.

When you arrive at the nurse’s clinic, Wonwoo urges you to stay by his side and you faintly remember Seungkwan telling you about Wonwoo’s fear of nurses and doctors - something to do with a family member passing away. You stay by his side even when the nurse begins to examine his shoulder. Thankfully, his shoulder isn't broken but the nurse advises him to keep it easy for a couple of days.

Once you step out of the clinic, you grab his bag and place it in front of you as your own is dangling on your back. Wonwoo tries to get his bag back but with a deathly stare and a scolding from you, he purses his lips and grabs your hand instead. You walk back to their house hand in hand and the silence of the winter air consumes you both. You found it weird but also comforting how easily his hand seems to fit in yours. The fact that you are both holding hands without much thought suddenly makes your stomach flip.

After arriving at the boys’ house and Seungcheol’s lengthy scolding about running and watching where you were going, you help Wonwoo go to his room. The rest of the boys decided to stay downstairs to play another round of mario kart. You place Wonwoo’s bag on his bed and when you turn around to ask if he needs any help with anything, your eyes land on Wonwoo struggling to take his jacket off.

You make your way towards him and without much thought, you replace his hands with yours and slowly unbutton his jacket with your fingers. His breath hitched in his throat and you could feel him slowly breathe down on you. When you remove the last button, you gently place your hands on his chest and peer up at him.

“Thanks,” he whispers, his lips hovering dangerously close to your lips. Wonwoo momentarily closes his eyes and you mimic his actions. Little by little your lips touch gently against each other. His lips are chapped from the cold you note as you thread your fingers through his locks, tugging him a little closer to you. He snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you into his warmth. You have no idea how long you stood kissing Jeon Wonwoo, but you were certain you didn’t want it to end.

The little seed of feelings that planted in his heart seemed to grow as you continued to kiss him so tenderly.

—

“I saw you and Wonwoo kissing,” Seungkwan plops down beside your figure. Your eyes momentarily winden in panic and Dino tries to pat your back as you begin to cough violently. The youngest smirks in your direction and you wanted nothing more than to punch it off his face. A couple of days since the kiss passed by and it was radio silence between you and Wonwoo. You felt like he was avoiding you and it saddened you a bit when your feelings for the guy have grown ever since you laid your eyes on him.

“No you didn’t.”

“Did to.”

“Did not!”

“Did-”

“For the love of God, we all saw this coming okay? So what if you and Wonwoo kissed. It was bound to happen anyway. You and him were just prolonging it because you’re both cowards,” Dino pushes both your bodies to the side as he stands up to grab more drinks from your fridge.

“But I think he’s avoiding me,” you finally say to the boys. The two share a knowing look before they circle around you. Dino hands you a can of sprite before gulping down his own drink.

“He’s not. Trust us,” Seungkwan starts, turning his head to look at Dino for some sort of confirmation. Dino nods, biting his lip as he continues to talk. “It’s always a difficult time for him during this time of the year.” You nod, understanding that the boys can’t disclose it with you.

“It’s okay. I trust you guys.”

Seungkwan and Dino sit on either side of you again and you lean your head on your best friend. Whatever it may be, your heart aches for Wonwoo and what he may be going through.

“Do you think I should text him tonight?” you suddenly ask the boys. The boys don’t take their eyes away from the TV but they both let out a “you should” in unison. So as soon as the two boys fall asleep on the floor, you slip out of their holds and pad your way quietly into your bedroom. You fish out your phone from your pocket and nervously hover your finger over Wonwoo’s number.

“Just call him you idiot,” you whisper quietly to yourself. You close your eyes and press his number. After a few rings on his end, he finally picks up and murmurs a soft hello.

“Hey ‘Woo! Just wanted to ask if you were doing okay,” you cheerfully ask him before laying on your bed. You count the number of glow in the dark stars you placed on your ceiling with the help of Mingyu and Wonwoo. Twelve you count but his only response was a soft cry. You clutch your pillow to your chest as he continues to sob. You don’t know how long it is until his cries die down. You finally speak when he clears his throat.

“Meet me at the park on campus?” you ask, slowly getting up.

“Okay.”

Wonwoo arrives there first, wanting to get there before you so you don’t end up alone waiting for him. He catches something small in your hand as you approach him with a smile. He wishes he could capture your smile with his camera.

“Hold out your hand,” you beam at him as you sit beside him. He hesitantly opens his hand and you softly plop a plush keyring in his hand - the one he has been eyeing since you and him passed by one of the claw machines near the science building. It makes his heart swell when you close your fingers over his and he immediately pulls you in for a hug.

“You don’t know how much comfort you brought me tonight, angel,” he whispers against your temple.

“Just glad I could help Wonwoo.”

—

Seungkwan eyes you as you rock yourself back and forth on your toes, lips pursed as you wait for your grade to be released. He removes his eyes from your figure when you wave him off, telling him to continue with his essay. He shrugs in response and you proceed to walk around your small living room in jitters. You didn’t realise your result from your last exam would come this soon but your classmate sent you a reminder and it has consumed your thoughts for the past couple of days.

“You’re starting to make me nervous yn. Is everything okay?”

You stare at your phone when an email comes in and your heart falters at your grade.

“Never been better Kwan,” you whisper, although there’s a growing lump in your throat that makes you want to cry uncontrollably.

“Hey, I’m actually gonna step out for a little bit to talk to my mom. Apparently something’s up with Nina,” you clear your throat to mask the fact that there are tears lining your eyes. Thankfully, Seungkwan doesn’t notice the change of tone in your voice and the tears glazing your eyes.

You shove your feet in your shoes and grab the closest jacket that’s hanging on the door; Wonwoo’s. You only notice that it was his when you step out of your apartment building and onto the street.

You wipe the tears away from your face and begin your walk to the store. Seungkwan requested for cans of redbull and you needed to buy some food for the both of you. As you neared the store, Mingyu spots you walking towards the entrance but he notes your swollen eyes and your wet cheeks. He jogs over to you and calls out your name.

When you hear your name being called out, you turn around to see Mingyu waving at you with a bag of groceries in his other hand. You wait for him to walk over to you and before he could even utter a word, you burst into tears. Mingyu freezes at your state but he quickly wraps his arms around your figure when you continue to sob.

“I failed an exam for one of my classes, Gyu. I really needed to get a good grade so I could bump up my GPA,” you continue to cry on his chest. You feel bad when you break away from his embrace to find his grey jacket soaked in your tears.

“How about I help you with your groceries then drive you home?” he offers, which you gladly accept with a nod.

The drive home is spent in comfortable silence. You lean your head against the window while Mingyu hums whatever tune comes into his mind. You close your eyes momentarily and your thoughts bring you back to your grade and the sleepless nights, including the ones Wonwoo accompanied you in, you spent just so you could bump up your GPA. The disappointment that was weighing down on your chest earlier on seemed to come back with every traffic light you pass by and Mingyu notices your furrowed eyebrows which prompts him to nudge you with his phone, letting you play whatever song you want. You smile at his gesture and soon enough, “Astronomy” by Conan Gray is blasting from Mingyu’s speakers. You peer outside and you notice the ground is starting to be covered in snow which makes you tap Mingyu’s shoulder in hurry.

“Did you know snow is actually translucent,” you begin, looking back at Mingyu who is eyeing the traffic lights.

“Then why is it white?” he tilts his head.

“Because of the light reflecting the snow,” you answer.

Mingyu chuckles at your words, “This is why you and Wonwoo are perfect for each other.”

“What?”

“He pulls this shit on me all the time. Whenever he remembers the randomest things he can think of, he thinks he has an obligation to tell me about them. The other day he told me how dogs release heat-”

“Through their tongues,” you finish.

“Exactly.”

“Do you think he likes me?” you question him, peering out of the window again. Mingyu huffs as he parks right outside your apartment building.

“Do you think he would go out of his way to come all the way to your apartment just to check if you’re doing okay?” he points at Wonwoo who is standing outside your apartment building with a paper bag that you recognised is from your favourite sushi place.

“How did he-”

“I texted him while you were paying for your groceries,” he winks.

You’ve never been more grateful for the people in your life. You hug Mingyu and exit his car before sprinting your way over to Wonwoo with outstretched arms. Your bodies collide with each other but he tightens his hold on you to keep you from falling.

“Your grades don’t define you, sweetheart.”

“I know.”

He hugs you more tightly when a gust of wind passes by, and he watches as Mingyu drives off with a fond smile on his face.

—

With the arrival of spring, your blossoming feelings for Wonwoo only grows. He spends the majority of his days with you in your apartment or studying in the library. When Christmas rolled in, he left a small gift for you on your coffee table before he left to visit his family. You spent your Christmas with your family and Seungkwan’s. The dinner table was filled with memories of your childhood and the occasional teasing from your best friend and his sisters about a certain dark haired boy. Your parents and your older sister join in on the teasing when Wonwoo calls you during dinner. You were left feeling heated and flustered as you quickly left the dinner table.

“Earth to yn,” Seungkwan waves a hand in front of your face to catch your attention again. You swat his hand away and continue to look at the budding tree outside the building.

“What do you want?”

“We need to plan our summer getaway,” he sucks on a hard candy and passes you the bag. You pop one into your mouth and begin to think of the possible places you could visit with your friends. An idea comes into your mind when you remember the waves of Jeju Island, your home.

“How about we bring them to Jeju this summer?” you propose, looking at Seungkwan with hopeful eyes.

“I can ask the boys. I think some of them really want to visit,” he agrees. The two of you begin to walk back to your lecture hall, the ten minute break your professor gave you earlier on was coming to an end. Before you enter the hall, you catch a glimpse of Wonwoo and another girl who has her arm looped around his. An unfamiliar feeling settles on your chest and Seungkwan notices the way your steps seem to falter. He follows your eyes in the direction they are looking at and his eyes land on Wonwoo and his project partner. He notes the way the girl drags him down with her arms and he can visibly tell how uncomfortable Wonwoo looks.

“Let’s go,” you say, grabbing Seungkwan’s arm and pulling him into the lecture hall where your professor is already starting his class again. You slip into your seat and open your laptop to begin typing some notes. Throughout the lecture, Seungkwan glances at you and how you barely pay attention to what your professor was saying. You had minimum information typed out on your laptop and Seungkwan wanted nothing more than to snap you out if it with a flick on your forehead.

When the lecture ends, you gather your belongings as fast as you could and quickly bid your best friend goodbye. Before Seungkwan leaves the lecture hall he sends his roommate a quick text about you and his hunch that you’re jealous of a certain girl who was dangling on his arm earlier on.

You move to your next class lethargically with a cup of coffee in your hand. The unfamiliar feeling is still there when you sit next to your classmate. You tried to distract yourself during your class but your mind wanders back to Wonwoo and the girl. You sigh to yourself and try to shake your thoughts away in order to focus on your lecture. Your classmate sitting beside you notices the trouble etching your face and she hands you a chocolate bar underneath the table.

“Seems like you need it more than me.” She smiles at you before returning her focus to your professor.

The class is soon over and you find yourself slowly fixing your belongings. Your classmate, Yuna, waits for you to pack your things and you both head out of the lecture hall. You were a couple of steps away from the room when you heard your name being called out and a series of footsteps coming towards you in hurry. Yuna winks at you before walking away with your other classmates. Before you could call out for her name, Wonwoo grabs your arm and pulls you away into a more secluded place.

You don’t bother breaking away from his hold, knowing Wonwoo would just take your arm again if you begin to protest. You had an inkling that Seungkwan was behind all of Wonwoo’s actions and you mentally note to give your best friend a good scolding when you see him for dinner. Wonwoo stops walking when you reach the benches near the science building and he pulls you in for a hug.

When you don’t return it, he breaks away and cups your face instead. You refuse to look at his eyes, embarrassment taking a toll on you when you realise how childish you were acting. Yes, you held hands with him and even kissed him once, but that doesn’t mean you had the right to get jealous because at the end of the day, Wonwoo was not your boyfriend.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get jealous,” you whisper, “I have no right to be jealous.”

Wonwoo places his pointer finger under your chin and raises your head so that you are now staring at him.

“I’m sorry for being the biggest idiot in the world,” he chuckles softly and presses his forehead against your own.

“I like you..alot yn and I’d be the happiest guy in the world if you’d let me be your boyfriend?”

You can’t help the way your face heats up at his words. And you knew right then and there that you’d fallen so deeply for the man standing in front of you.

“I’ll think about it,” you tease, leaning up to peck his lips.

If only Wonwoo was able to pause this moment forever, he would have to save himself from the impending heartbreak he was about to experience.

—

Months pass by and the arrival of summer soon comes. You were much brighter. More youthful according to your peers. Even Wonwoo who was stuck to you like glue was experiencing the brightness that was etched on your face. The summer holiday the boys and you have planned was soon approaching but your focus now was on your finals that seemed to drag on for days on end. Wonwoo was cooped up in your apartment with you, not like he wasn’t on other days. He found himself spending more of his time in your apartment than he did at his house that he shared with the boys. You’ve even cleared out a section of your clothes from your closet to give his clothes some space to be stored in.

“Do you want to order food?” Wonwoo walks into your bedroom where you were studying. Wonwoo decided to study in the living room so you don’t end up distracting each other. You peek up at the clock hanging on your wall and you nod at him. He walks over to where you are sitting down and pulls you up. You furrow your eyebrows until he sits down on your chair and pulls you onto his lap.

“What do you feel like having?” he asks, circling his arms around your torso before opening his phone so that you could both scroll through the menus available. He finds himself perching his head on your shoulder while browsing through a menu.

“Anything would be nice at this point,” you reply. He continues to hum as he scrolls through more menus and you find yourself basking in the quietness surrounding the both of you. You lean your head against Wonwoo’s and close your eyes as he spots a food place that he knows you would like. He orders while you continue to rest your eyes.

“Food should be arriving in half an hour. You can take a nap ‘till then, sweetheart,” he mumbles. When Wonwoo attempts to lift you up to place you on your bed, you let out a string of whines in protest. He chuckles before seeming to understand that you were already comfortable with being on his lap.

“You get so clingy when you’re tired,” he notes.

“So?” you pout, wrapping your arms around his neck tighter as you slowly drift to sleep.

“I love you,” Wonwoo whispers when he thinks you’re fast asleep.

“I love you too.”

—

Your eyes seem to sparkle, Wonwoo notes, when you peer out through the window to bask in the beautiful waves of the sea. He likes the way your entire face brightens when you watch the little children playing on the sand and the old couples that were strolling on the beach. He doesn’t take his eyes away from you even when Seungkwan and Dino return with your orders. The duo rolls their eyes before tapping the table lightly to catch both of your attentions.

“The view is that way,” Seungkwan points at the beach, “not this way,” Dino adds, pointing in your direction. Wonwoo blushes before nudging Dino’s stomach with his elbows. You wink at your boyfriend before digging into your food. The older guys decided to stay back at the air bnb that you all rented since a handful of them were tired from staying up late the previous night.

The first few days of your trip to Jeju were spent in laughter and getting lost because of yours and Seungkwan’s sense of direction. Despite spending the majority of your lives in Jeju, you and Seungkwan still managed to confuse the directions to the destinations that you’ve visited so far.

The rest of your lunch was spent in silence and the occasional chatters from the four of you. You could tell that the boys were still a little hungover but they only decided to tag along with you because they didn’t want you to spend the day alone, especially Wonwoo.

“Can we just chill by the beach after lunch? I’m kind of tired myself,” you yawn, stretching your arms above your head. The boys nod in agreement and the duo stands up to throw your trash away. Wonwoo offers his hand out to you and you walk hand in hand towards the beach with the two boys trailing behind. Unbeknownst to the both of you, Seungkwan was taking multiple pictures of you to capture what he deemed was a “sweet moment”.

The two boys lay on some beach towels that you prepared in your bag and Wonwoo offers to tag along with you to the water. You only dip your feet in and slosh them around just to cool yourself down. Wonwoo does the same but his powerful kicks soon manage to splash water towards your body. Soon enough, you were bending down to splash water in Wonwoo’s direction.

“Stop,” he giggles, covering his face with his hands.

Seungkwan pulls out his camera again and snaps pictures of you and Wonwoo. A sense of contentment settles on his chest as he continues to watch his best friend smile because of Wonwoo. He was glad that he got to introduce you to the boys, especially Wonwoo. The two of you stop playing around when the waves crash stronger against your bodies.

“I don’t know how to swim, let’s go,” Wonwoo laughs, grabbing your hand as you run before the waves arrive. Dino and Seungkwan motions for the two of you to stop walking once you’re nearing the duo and the younger one urges Wonwoo to put his arm over your shoulder.

Dino puts his thumbs up in approval and Seungkwan begins snapping more pictures of the two of you.

“Should we give them our autographs while they’re at it?” Wonwoo whispers under his breath. You look up at Wonwoo, just before Seungkwan snaps another photo of you and him, and laugh at his words.

“Perfect!” Dino yells.

“You’re both so embarrassing,” you groan as you tug Wonwoo towards your friends when people around you start to look in your direction.

“You’re going to be thanking me and Dino in the future for these pictures,” Seungkwan states.

Little did Wonwoo know, he was indeed going to be thankful for the pictures that he could keep to remember you by.

—

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Seungcheol yells, shoving Seungkwan against the walls of the hospital. Dino attempted to hold him back but with every punch he landed on Seungkwan’s face, it was getting harder to hold back his older brother.

“I-I didn’t know,” he yells back, pushing him away with all the strength he had left. How was he supposed to know that you were greatly ill when you never told him about it either? He felt the betrayal coursing through his body and an ounce of anger settling on his chest. How could you keep things from him when he was your best friend since you were children? How was he supposed to function without you by his side?

“What happened?” Jeonghan rushes to hold Seungcheol back. The boys were lounging around the living room when they suddenly got a call from Seungkwan who was in tears. The boys couldn’t understand the words he was uttering until a nurse pulled his phone away from him to talk to Seungcheol instead.

The drive to the hospital was spent in silent tears and worries but Wonwoo remained the quietest amongst his housemates. How could he feel anything but numbness when the nurse informed them about your passing? How was he supposed to feel when you were the only source of light in his life that kept him going?

The nurse pulls the older boys aside and informs them about your past condition. Dino sobs in Mingyu’s arms while the rest are holding on to each other for support. Wonwoo continues to remain silent despite the noise that was occurring around him.

Seungkwan pulls Wonwoo into his arms when the realisation that you were never going to return to him finally dawns on him.

You were gone.

—

Final.

“You need to let the blossoms in your heart wither away Wonwoo. It’s time for you to let me go now. I'll still be your guiding light every day even when you forget your memories with me in years to come, I’ll always guide you in every way that I can,” you whisper against his skin, fingertips dancing along his cheeks.

Your feather-like touch lingers on his skin even when he wakes up from his dream. The ache that planted its way in his heart seems to lighten the moment he awakes from his sleep and he remembers every detail of your face and the smile that seemed to hold no pain or worry.

You were gone and despite knowing that you were never going to return, he feels a little lighter today.

#wonwoo angst #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo x reader #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #svt angst #svt fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #svt x reader

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barrysmanbun · 3 years

Text

Barry NSFW Alphabet

A/n: this was not planned and therefore is not edited

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Getting you a cool washcloth to wipe you down with, while whispering to you soothingly about how good you were. Small kisses on your forehead and cheek. Just laying there to catch your breath for a while afterward, probably smoking a joint as you do.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Barry’s favorite part about himself is his hands. From his time in the army to working as a mechanic to rolling joints every day his hands have had a lot of practice with skilled, steady movements. If you catch my drift.

His favorite body part on his partner is really anything he can grab onto. Your hips: pulling you in for a hug or squeezing them to get your attention when you’re talking to someone else. Your thighs: pulling you towards him while he sits in his chair so you can stand between his legs, making it all the easier to kiss you. Your ass: cupping it and lifting when you’re kissing just so he can hear that little half-moan he loves so much. Your breasts: massaging them while you leisurely make out on his bed, too high and too hot to move any faster.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He loves to come on you, painting your stomach or your thighs. Just seeing it on you gives him this sense of pride and satisfaction. His favorite place to come on you, though, is you face. When you let him it is nearly enough to get him riled again, fiercely pleased that he gets to mark you in such a way.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Barry has been thinking about fucking you since before you even talked to him for the first time. The first time he saw you he took one look at you and was imagining bending you over the nearest surface and fucking you into oblivion. The talking stages was arguably his best shows of restraint in his entire life, and by the time you guys finally got to the sex stage of your relationship he had enough fantasies he wanted to act out to fill an entire notebook.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Barry is fairly experienced in the sex part of your relationship, having multiple casual partners in the past, but when it comes to the romantic part of your relationship he has no idea what he’s doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He knows it’s very vanilla of him but he thinks missionary is the best. Best access to everything he wants, your breasts, your clit, your lips, and he gets to see your face. Besides, there are so many different positions just within missionary that you guys can do to keep things interesting. His second favorite position would have to be when you ride him, specifically when he gets to sit up when you ride him Once again because he gets access to everything and it’s so much easier to see your face.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Barry is serious at the moment but only to keep the moment intimate. He can have a good laugh about things and will sometimes chuckle to himself when you do something cute or say something naive.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn’t shave but he keeps it short. And the carpet definitely matches the drapes, dark with a little bit of a curl.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can be very intimate, slow and sweet and romantic, but it depends heavily on his mood. If he hasn’t seen you in forever and he missed you more than he was horny he would definitely be very romantic about it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he was a single bachelor living alone he would probably jerk off once or twice a week, but otherwise he would get a girl for that. And on the days he knows he won’t be seeing you for a while he will definitely do it just so he can send teasing pics for phone sex.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Begging: Barry loves to get you to the point that you’re begging for him to finally fuck you or finally let you cum, just knowing you need him that bad is better than any high he could get from drugs. And it’s just so pretty when you get so desperate that one tear rolls down your face.

Choking: No matter the sex position, chances are Barry has his hand on your throat, just tight enough for you to feel it.

Bondage: Handcuffs, a tie, a piece of loose fabric, your own panties, even his own hands, he loves having that much control over you. Able to do anything to you, and you can’t even resist. Plus, he loves the sight of you pulling at your restraints with the need to touch him as he brushes his fingers along your chest and abdomen to make you squirm.

Knife & gun kink: though Barry would never hurt you just knowing he has the power too, and that you trust him not to, arouses him to no end.

Exhibitionism: this is very loose because while Barry does not want to let other people see the two of you having sex, having sex in public places (on the side of a back road with you bent over his motorcycle) or with people in the next room (asking you to help him with something in his room and then having a quickie while his customers wait in the living room because he just couldn't wait anymore)

Marking: Barry loves seeing his mark on you, hickies across your neck and chest, bruises in the shapes of his fingertips on your hips and thighs, and wearing his clothing out in public or around the house.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

You guys have fucked on every surface in his house and yours, on probably every back road, on his bike, on the beach, everywhere you can think of you and Barry have most definitely fucked there. But his favorite is probably the bed because then you guys can relax without worrying about getting caught afterward.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He loves to feel you run your fingers through his hair in any situation: while he rests his head in your lap, while you kiss him, while you sit in his lap. It’s relaxing and he catches himself letting his eyes slide shut and his head lull back but when you add just a little tug it immediately gets his engine revving.

He loves seeing you in his clothes, when you walk around in just his shirt or his sweatpants, or leaving the house before he wakes up and returning home and he sees you wearing clothes that are obviously his and he knows you went out and other people saw you in his clothes.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Blood play or cuckolding. Barry doesn't want to share you (except with maybe one stuck-up kook who shall not be named) and he also doesn't want to hurt you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Barry loves receiving, loving the sight of you on your knees in front of him, but he also loves giving. His partner's pleasure is just as important to him as his own and he loves showing off his skills (how quickly he can make you come with just his tongue)

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Barry is usually fast and rough. This boy has lots of pent-up anger, on top of never being able to get enough of you. But sometimes he gets into these romantic moods (that you're forbidden to tell anyone about) where he just wants to take his time pleasuring you, drawing it out as long as he can.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He loves quickies. He prefers normal sex but he'll take a quickie if that's all he can get.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's down to experiment with almost anything. He has a lot of experience and knows what he's doing so I doubt you'll be introducing anything he hasn't heard of but he'll still love to try it out with you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for one or two rounds and then he needs to give his dick some time to recuperate. But that doesn't mean his mouth and hands are out of business.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't really mind toys one way or another. He's not so insecure that he refuses to have them but he also knows that he doesn't need them to get you off so having toys is totally up to you and what you want to try.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease but he cannot take it when you tease him back. He'll tease you all day, whispering dirty words in your ear, telling you what he wants to do with you, slapping your ass as he walks by or secretly groping you while you kiss or hug. But the second you start teasing him he's on the edge of his seat.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not particularly loud, with groaning and grunting and lots of swearing. He actually goes quiet when he cuts, tensing up and squeezing his eyes shut and then afterward he swears and rolls over to lay next to you on the bed.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

To elaborate on 'T' he cannot take teasing at all. If you try to tease him he'll catch your wrist and give you a warning look. The more you try the more aggravated he'll get till he pulls you away from whatever you're doing/whoever you're talking to so he can fuck you in the nearest empty room.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

A little above average length, about 6 ½ inches, and moderately thick.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is pretty average. It gets higher when he doesn't see you in a while or if you're being particularly bratty but otherwise it's average.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He waits until you've fallen asleep, making sure you're cuddled up to his chest, then he allows himself to fall asleep as well.

Tags:

@pogueslandia

#barry x reader #obx barry #barry obx #barry x female reader #barry smut #barry the drug dealer #obx #obx smut #tw smut

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shades-of-stony · 3 years

Text

Time Travel Stony Fanfic

Character from the Future travels to the Past

A Shadow Hanging Over Our Fate by CaptainDean13

Summary: The Avengers get sent back in time to WWII where they run into the Howling Commandos... complete with Bucky and Steve. Little hard to explain that away, especially when you are trying to keep some major secrets. Secrets like how you ended up in the future and why the hell Bucky is now a scary (reformed) assassin with a metal arm, not to mention that you married your friend's son.

Note: A 1000/10 READ. THIS IS SO FREAKIN’ GOOD THAT I READ IT 3 TIMES SINCE I FIRST FOUND IT LAST YEAR. It’s a nice and well written time travel fic with the howling commandos and past Steve and Bucky!!

A New Way For Us by ann2who

Summary: They fight Thanos—and they’re losing. And before Tony knows what’s happening, he’s standing with Doctor Strange in front of the Eye of Agamotto and gets send back in time. Can he find a way to fix things this time around, or are they doomed to fall apart all over again?

Note: This is where Tony went back in time to fix everything that went wrong and prepare for the arrival of Thanos! Due to an unexpected twist of fate, he found himself getting closer to Steve of all people!

Two More Miracles (To Be A Saint) by queenpenthesilea

Summary: “Get up, Stark, you sleep too much. You said you would teach me paper football.”

Tony’s eyes snapped open. No. No. Had it all been a dream? Had he just imagined five years – five years - of an idyllic life, complete with a beautiful, wonderful daughter? He pushed himself up, looking around; he was on the Milano – he was on the fucking Milano, and either this was a really weird version of hell or everything had been a dream. Or, a little voice whispered, something had gone horribly, horribly wrong with the infinity stones.

Note: A nice and juicy post-Endgame Time Travel fanfic!! Though, this one held a few what ifs.

Saving the World is a 12 Step Program by janonny

Summary: Tony and Steve fall to pieces when Thanos’ wins.

Then they pick themselves up, and find a solution. They also find something infinitely more precious in the process.

“It’s going to sound pretty outrageous,” Tony admitted, rubbing a hand over his brow. While he had put on some weight and wasn’t as gaunt anymore, he was still easily tired nowadays.

“More outrageous than talking racoons and a purple villain traveling through space to collect magic stones?” Steve asked drily.

Note: This is another post-Endgame fanfic but with a twist and different take on the whole time travel!

Oh, Snap by wedelia

Summary: Peter wakes up, and he’s simultaneously five years too early and right on time.

Or, Post-Endgame Peter goes back in time and accidentally-on-purpose gets Steve and Tony together before the initial snap happens. And, oh, yeah—he also recruits a former-Air-Force-pilot-turned-galactic-hero, has lunch with Black Widow, and somehow befriends Nick Fury. This changes things.

Note: It’s Peter who time travels this time around!!

If We Never Got This Second Chance by Pookaseraph

Summary: When Tony and Steve’s son from the future, Jake Jensen, arrives at Avenger’s Tower, the two of them are forced to confront some hard truths: Tony that he might not actually become a horrible father, and Steve that he might not be able to set aside his discomfort with sharing a child with another man. When they both get a second chance at a first try at fatherhood, it’s up to the two of them to learn from their own future's past.

Note: Anyone up for some future son time travel? Enjoy this nicely written fanfic of Stony’s future son traveling and meeting the past versions of his parents! Past versions that are not even together yet! Things are about to get weird for Steve and Tony.

Your Name on Every Wall by Sineala

Summary: The Time Gem throws Steve into the past rather than the future, and in doing so, it gives him the opportunity to undo his past mistakes. But when it turns out that all of his mistakes involve Tony Stark, Steve begins to wonder if he's ever going to be able to mend things between them.

Note: A unique plot where Steve travels to the future and realizes what he is missing on!

Together, At Dawn by RoseGoldAmpersand

Summary: Steve returns the Infinity Stones to New York and finds himself in conversation with Tony of the past. More mature and willing to listen to Tony he realises that what he previously thought were taunts was actually Tony flirting with him.

In light of this new discovery and alone in Tony’s workshop after the battle of New York, one thing leads to another...

Note: ohhhhh, some juicy smut anyone?

Don't Look Back, You Can Never Look Back. by iL0Vsuperman

Summary: Tony Stark: billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and, now, superhero.

It’d only been a few months prior that he’d revealed to the world he was Iron Man and life couldn’t be better.

That is…until he stumbled upon an old abandoned Hydra lab and kinda set off one of their machines by accident. A blast of blue light later and he found himself in the same lab…only it is seventy years earlier and it is full of Hydra agents.

Cue the entrance of the Howling Commandos led by Tony’s childhood hero, Captain America.

Suddenly, Tony is living out a dream. He’s joining up with the Commandos in the search to get Tony back to his right era. It’s the adventure of a lifetime and, at first, it’s amazing…but then he and Steve connect in ways more than just friendship and he finds that he is torn between wanting to stay with him or go back home.

In the end, whatever the result, he loses.

Note: Tony meets his childhood heroes-the Howling Commandos and Captain America!

The Future is Yet in Your Power by FestiveFerret

Summary: "Now." Wong leaned back in his chair. "What would you do to save this world from Thanos' attack? What would you sacrifice?"

"Anything," Steve said. "Anything at all."

Wong considered him for a moment, expression unreadable. "There's one thing, maybe."

Note: This is nice fanfic about Steve putting everything on the line to hopefully make a change.

The Good or Bad Thing by petreparkour for SeetheSea

summary: “It’s the metal suit,” Thor informed Steve, his normally-booming voice tinny over the SHIELD comms. “What did Stark call it—Iron Man?”

“But he’s down here,” Steve protested as the Hulk roared in Stark’s face, startling him into waking with a shout. “How could—”“It’s damaged,” Thor reported. “But it looks different. More advanced. And he—ah. He’s carrying you, Captain.”

“Please tell me nobody kissed me,” Stark breathed out, and then Stark’s voice suddenly came over the comms, but the man lying next to him hadn’t moved.“

Guys, come on, you’re killing me here. What is it, 2012? God, I hate time travel. First, I'm fighting Thanos. Now, I have to deal with my past self and Thor's bad haircut? Oh my God, Cap, yes I hacked their comms, they’re my comms.”

Steve nearly opened his mouth to protest that he hadn’t said anything when he realized that this replica of Tony Stark wasn’t speaking to him.

Note: Future Tony and Steve accidentally traveling in the past!

Character from the Past travels to the Future

hold the things you wanna say by SailorChibi

Summary: Tony is still a consultant, and between SI, the team and SHIELD he's overworked and exhausted. That's okay.

He and Steve have been having sex for weeks but that's all it is, just sex, and Tony wants more but he'll never get it and that's okay. Really.

What's not okay is the fact that Howard Stark has somehow appeared in the future and is the same as always.

This is definitely going to fuck up his schedule.

Note: ANGST! READY YOUR TISSUES.

Twice Upon a Time by TsaritsaElena

Summary: Tony Stark has never had an easy relationship with his father, but when Howard Stark circa 1983 time travels to the future in a freak accident, things get even more complicated, especially since Tony is dating his dad’s idol, Captain America, and Howard doesn’t know. As they work toward a solution that will restore Howard to his own timeline, will Tony get a second chance at a father-son relationship with his dad, or is he in for more of the same unforgiving treatment from Howard? Time travel, Avengers missions, and a secret project of Howard’s: things at Stark Tower are about to get a little crazy.

Note: SOME MORE ANGST AND HOWARD TRAVELLING TO THE FUTURE.

The Future Is Ours (Whether We Want It Or Not) by ann2who

Summary: After a hit from the Time Stone, Steve switches places with his future self.

Note: Another of Steve traveling to the future! Though this time, it features both timeline! Both POV of the past and future!

Ordinary Men by RiaRose

Summary: "Aren't you at all happy to see me?" Howard shot back, holding his glass out and pointing with his index finger. At Steve's stony face, he dropped his arm. "Want a glass?" he tried, picking up an empty tumbler, "This is good stuff."

"Tony doesn't skimp on - well - anything. And no, thank you."

"Was that Tony?" he queried, gesturing toward the hallway the other man had disappeared down. Steve nodded but didn't give any more information, so Howard repeated his earlier question, "Aren't you happy to see me?"

It took Steve a moment to answer. Howard could see his jaw working.

"No, not anymore."

In which Howard travels to the future and just messes up everybody's day, Steve is conflicted, and Tony is a piping hot mess, as per usual. It's not going to be easy, but Steve and Tony have to somehow navigate through Howard's arrival and the strain it puts on their relationship.

Note: From the summary alone, you can tell that THIS WILL BE ANGSTY.

To Have My Time Again... by WilmaKins

Summary: It's been two years since Siberia, and Tony Stark is still dealing with the fallout - personal and political. Life is quite complicated enough, without Bruce falling through a wizards roof yelling that Thanos is coming.

Thor and Loki are stalling, but time is running out. The fate of the universe is at stake. Steve Rogers is back in the picture. Really, the last thing Tony needs is for their plan to go horribly wrong and bring Howard Stark forward in time.

But his Dad *is* standing in his office, whether he likes it or not.

So, it looks like Tony will have to fix that mess too.

Note: There is just something about Howard-travels-to-the-future fanfics.

Howard Stark Meets The Avengers by SerlinaBlack

Summary: Howard Stark unknowingly travels to the future with his son and wife. Luckily the heroes of the future were somewhat ready for it. Unluckily , they don't seem to like him very much

Alternative summery: when will Howard learn? Not now lmao.

Note: ANOTHER ONE.

#stony #stony fanfiction #stony fanfic #stony fic #stony fic rec #stevetony #stevetony fic rec #steve and tony #steve and tony fic #superhusbands #stevetony fanfic

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nishisun · 3 years

Text

suna rintaro is NOT a genius.

summary: you loved the idea of soulmates. suna rintaro didn’t. it isn’t that hard to put two and two together to realize that maybe people with different opinions on things don’t belong together.

part 2

a/n: this was literally supposed to be a series, i gave up on it because i just didn’t like the way it turned out. it used to be called “out of my league” and this was the intro. i also renamed it. just emptying drafts!! please don’t get confused with the random timeskip, once again, this was a part of a series i never ended up posting😭

WARNING!!: suggestive themes, mentions of death, idk kinda angsty but tell me if i missed anything

Soulmates. Whatever the hell that means. The idea of soulmates is something I truly don’t understand. It’s bullshit, honestly. It’s all-pervasive.

My mother always told me I'd eventually find "the one.” I used to believe that when I was younger of course. But in my opinion? It’s all cliches. It's unhelpful, and it's certainly not true. Destiny is an excuse for the weak. Why do you think most marriages end in divorce? It's 'cause people who believe they are “destined to be" assume everything will fall into place without any effort. I don't appreciate people pontificating bullshit like that just to make me feel better, especially if they haven't found their "soulmate" themselves. My sister once told me, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and encounter more difficulty in their relationship, which will lead them to give up on one another eventually.”

I sure do believe that.

My mother is a prime example. Fumeiko Suna, my dear mother. Well, she clearly hasn’t found hers. I found out when I came home after a tedious day of school in 5th grade and found my dear mother on the floor crying, with bruises all over her face and a busted lip.

Initially, I thought a burglar had broken into our home once again, but if that were the case then there would’ve been missing furniture. But there wasn’t.

In fact, the place seemed cleaner than usual. When I ran up to her and asked her what had happened, there he was. The devil himself. My father. He reeked of alcohol, and I could detect his shadow towering over me. It’s funny how that I think of it. I used to fear that son of a bitch. Now, I’m way taller than him, and hate his guts. I turned around to see a faux-sympathetic smile plastered on his face.

He explained how my mother was being “clumsy” and had fell and busted her lip on one of the corners of the kitchen table and when I turned back around to face my mother, she smiled gently and nodded in agreement. She didn’t say anything after that.

It was then I realized my father had beat my mother to a pulp.

Long story short, when I found it was my father, sure, I was frightened. In fact, I remember going into my siblings’ rooms to inform them, they shrugged it off and told me that dad had been doing it for a while now.

Over time, when my dad had found out that I was aware, he didn't mind beating the absolute shit out of my mother in front of all three of us. This was when my burning hatred for that man started. Nobody in the house even attempted to stop him. I did a few times, though. He took all his anger out on me. At least my mom had a break for the day.

I almost pitied my mother. Almost. Maybe if she was strong enough to leave him, then yeah, I’d feel bad. But she still decides to stay with his sorry ass. It’s pathetic. It’s unrequited love or whatever you call it. How could she still love that asshole?

I mean, I’m not even going to lie, I’m an asshole too, but I’m definitely not my dad. I would never want to be him. He’s not someone I looked up to, he doesn’t do anything inspirational. He’s a businessman. He travels the majority of the time, and I’m pretty sure my mom invites men over when he’s gone. I don’t care enough to find out. But if I ever hear some guy rearranging my mom’s guts, I’ll kill him. I don’t even blame my mother. What she’s doing is wrong, she knows it and so do both of my older siblings. But they don't seem to care so why should I?

Who knows why she just won’t leave him. Maybe it’s cause they don’t want to ruin how people view our “picture perfect” family. I wonder what they’d say. “I thought the Suna’s were the ideal family? I guess not.”

My dad would probably lose it if he heard that.

Both my mother and my father are the cause of this broken family of mine. They never fed me or any of my siblings the love we always desired when we were younger. They never came to any of my volleyball games when I was younger. They never applauded me for the little recitals we’d have in class in primary school. They were never even here for most of my childhood. They always put money first and left us with the housekeepers. Hell, the housekeepers probably know me better than my own parents.They failed as parents. I despise them for it. They’re most likely the reason I am the way I am, but to be honest?

I don’t give a fuck.

In fact, I should thank them! Because of how they “raised” me, i’m extremely blunt, which is why people respect me. I use the hatred I have for my family and take it out on people and no, I’m not proud of that. I may be a heartless asshole, but I like that people fear me. The hell? Does that make me a sadist? Either way, people know to never fuck with me cause I’d fuck their shit up. I’ve overheard many people say it’s ‘cause of my privilege. It probably is. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy you many other things.

If my parents were broke, I’d probably be expelled from school by now. Abuse of alcohol and drugs are forbidden on school property. I don’t even take them at school, I somewhat care about my education and health, but sometimes I just need to blow some steam. Even if I did, nobody’s gonna say shit since my dad is the head of Japan’s board of education. How did his ass even get there?

Call me lonely or cynical. Maybe I am. But how is that a bad thing? Why do people need a significant other to rely on? What, a soulmate is just going to turn my life upside down then suddenly bring me happiness? Pfft, I’m gonna need actual proof that shit like that still happens. I’ve only seen shit like that in fairy tale movies. It’s whatever, though. I can live with being alone. I’ve basically been alone my whole life and it isn’t as bad as people make it.

You loved the idea of having a soulmate. The thought of meeting someone who just understood you, accepted you for who you were, and most importantly, loved you excited you. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

But recently, you weren’t sure soulmates existed.

When your older sister, Akira, came into your room and burst into tears, it frightened you. Your older sister, the one who’d always provide you advice on relationships and how to keep one was in your room sobbing hysterically because hers hadn’t worked out.

“I just can't believe it,” she sobbed.

You couldn’t believe it either. Your sister had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 9 years. They started dating at the age of 15 and managed to make things work out even after high school, and out of all those years of dating, they never broke up. Not even once.

They’d go on romantic dates on Saturdays and they’d always write love letters to one another every day, just to remind one another of how grateful they were to have each other in their lives. On Halloween, they’d dress up as fictional characters from TV shows and books and take cute selfies and bake a bunch of sweets. They’d invite you to come bake with them, but you would politely deny. You knew they were only offering so you wouldn’t feel left out, which you appreciated.

Of course, they’d argue every now and then, but at the end of the day, they always managed to talk things out. Oh to have a relationship like theirs. They were everything you wanted to have in a relationship and more.

“I really thought he was the one for me, y’know?” No, you don’t know. But that doesn't matter. What mattered was cheering your sister up.

“Maybe he wasn’t ‘the one’ Akira, and that’s okay! People come and go all the time, soulmates come and go all the time as well-”

“You still believe soulmates are real, huh?” she let out a humorless laugh and sniffed her nose, “What If I missed my one shot at love, Y/N? What if I lost my soulmate?”

That’s some deep shit.

Now that you think about it, were soulmates real? Soulmates come and go, yes, you’re aware of that, but even though they leave, it’s always temporary. Soulmates always find a way back to their other half, the piece that completes them.

Your dad never made it back to your mother.

He died in a car crash 5 years ago. Your mother and father had been arguing because she claimed your father was cheating on her since he wouldn’t let her check his phone.

You were 13 at the time. Your sister Akira was accompanying you in your room, listening to them arguing back and forth with one another. There was furniture flying across the room, glass breaking, and both of them throwing curses at each other. You were scared. They never argued in front of you and your sister. They'd bicker sometimes, but it was never anything too deep.

Eventually, your father had enough of your mother’s false accusations, and out of anger, he packed his things and left home. For weeks. It wasn’t until one of your uncles called your mother and broke the news. She didn’t take it very well.

Late 2012-early 2013.

Not many people came to your father’s funeral, his family didn’t like the fact that he and your mother were together, they said your mother was trouble, but your dad still stayed with her, even if that meant it would completely destroy the bond he had with his family. Now that’s true love, you had thought. Only your mother, Akira, the Sunas, your uncle, and you, of course, attended the funeral.

It hurt a lot. It hurt when your mother informed both your grandparents on your mother and father’s side and all they could do is put the blame on her. It hurt how they had claimed you, Akira and your mother were a hindrance to your dear father’s well-being. How could they be so cruel at a time like this?

That was the first time you ever questioned if soulmates were real. Maybe they fell in love at the wrong time? Who knows.

After your father’s passing, Fumiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, was there to help your family out financially. Your mother couldn’t even find the motivating to go to work. Your mother and Fumiko have been best friends since junior high, they’ve literally been inseparable ever since. In fact, after they both got married, they decided to live right next to each other.

Your mom didn’t cope with your father’s death very well; none of you did. But your mom had it the worst.

She would cope with alcohol and clubbing which would always result in her bringing different men home almost every night. You didn’t say much about it, you thought it would be selfish to since that’s what seemed to make your mother feel better about herself, but your sister hated it. She was already 19 and in college at the time, but when she visited and found out that your mother had basically been neglecting you, she was furious.

“Seriously, mom? This is what you’re gonna do while your 13-year-old daughter is in her room having a literal mental breakdown because of your childish behavior?” Your sister had barged into your mother’s room when she thought you were asleep, she was screaming loud.

“You’re interrupting something important, Akira. You know better than to-”

“Oh, shut the hell up mom. You’re the last person on earth to be saying shit like that.”

“Well, if you’re done, you can leave my room now. You’re being disrespectful, and this behavior is not tolerated!” Your mother was screaming now. The man in the bed covering his body under the covers and looking back and forth between Akira and your mother.

“Sakiya, maybe you should hear your daughter out-”

“Not now.” your mother scarcely interrupted the man, eye contact never leaving Akira. “Y/N has never complained about this when you were in college. She knows this is my way of coping, why can’t you understand that too!”

Akira scoffed. “So what, getting fucked by random strangers you find on the filthy streets is your way of coping? Getting wasted every damn night to the point where Y/N has to drag you up to bed is okay with you? Do you even know how much this is affecting Y/N? Did you even bother asking her how she felt? I hate breaking it to you mom, but you need serious help.”

“You selfish child!” Your mother screamed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, getting up from the bed. “How dare you say that to your own mother?”

“I’m only telling the truth! If you’re the mother, then it’s your job to be taking care of Y/N, not neglecting her. When’s the last time you’ve engross in an actual conversation with her when you were fully sober?”

Your mother was silent. She quickly walked up to Akira and grabbed her by the hair and slammed her headfirst against the wall.

“You’ve got a big mouth! Maybe I should wash it with soap like I did back in the day, hm?” Akira was attempting to push her mother away, but she wouldn’t let go of her grip. The man that was still on your mother’s bed was in panic, yelling her name, which didn’t have any effect. He might as well stop.

"Look," Akira mumbled, struggling to get away from your mother's grip, "I know it's been hard ever since dad left-"

“Mom! Let go of her!” You cried from the door of her room.

All 3 adults froze and looked at your glassy eyes, mouths wide open.

“Hey, kiddo, I thought you were asleep?” Akira playfully said, your mother let go of Akira and crossed her arms then looked away from you.

“Well, I can't really go to sleep when there’s a bunch of adults yelling about my well-being,” you muttered incoherently. You quickly wiped the uncontrollable tears off your face and sighed.

“Honey,” your mom started, she walked slowly to you, carefully examined your face, and attempted to hug you, but you didn’t accept the offer which made your mother frown. She stopped walking until she was almost face to face with you and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Baby, your sister told me that you weren’t happy. Is this true?”

You looked away from her and stared dully at the floor, subtly shifting your feet, then you softly shook your head “no.”

“See Akira, Y/N is happy. So please stop stressing her out.” Your mother said through gritted teeth, then faced you once again. “Y/N honey, how about I go tuck you into bed, hm? I’m so sorry for the excessive noise that was caused.”

“Mom, how clueless can you be? Y/N looks miserable! It’s unhealthy for Y/N to be living-“

Slap.

Your mother just slapped Akira on the face.

“I know what’s best for my daughter! I am her mother! You are not the one who should be telling me how to take care of my own kid!”

“That’s enough, Sakiya.” a familiar voice said from the door.

“Fumeiko-“

“It’s fine. Sakiya, we need to talk.” It was Fumeiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, also known as your next door neighbor. She had been standing in the hallways the whole time, you didn’t even know she was there. Akira was the one who called her over.

That night your mother agreed to get help for her drinking problem. She was gone for 6 months. During those 6 months, the Suna’s took you in since Akira would be in college and you couldn’t have been more grateful.

You and Rintaro were the only kids in the house, being that you both were the same age and the others were in college. It was okay, they were all very polite, dinners were awkward, you could feel some sort of tension between the family but you didn’t pay any attention to it.

When your mom finally came back, it was awkward at first. She still seemed the same, loving and caring, just sober and free of alcohol. It was nice. You two spent the weekends bonding at the mall, watching a movie, or even getting your nails done. Eventually, she gained your trust back, and you couldn’t have been happier.

January 2017.

“Akira, don’t say that. You may not believe me now, but you are such an amazing person, don’t ever think you’ll never find love again. It’s all about having a positive mindset!” you said, thoughtfully stroking her hair as her head laid on your chest.

“I told you that.”

“You did,” you chuckled, “you should take your own advice.

“Oh, shut up!” you both laughed, and Akira let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course, you don't need to thank me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

— so this is one of the writings that i wrote in January 😭 it’s been in my drafts and i re-read it once and instantly hated it right after. if there’s any typos please tell me!!

— also i wanna apologize again for putting gmds on hiatus,, i feel so bad 😭 i wanna make it up to you guys but idk how so if you have suggestions pls tell me

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linkspooky · 4 years

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Akutagawa’s Death

The reveal that Akutagawa has known for a long time that even after escaping from the slums, he still hasn’t escaped the death that perpetually hung over him his entire life due to being born in the slums. Akutagawa’s entire character is written around death. An Akutagawa character analysis under the cut.

1. Giving Meaning to Death

Akutagawa’s origin is incredibly important to his character. The fact that he was orphaned and grew up alone in the slums has defined his whole life. His attitude towards both life and death comes from a place of knowing, practically his entire life, that he was most likely going to die a dog’s death in the slums, and nobody would even miss him or care when he was gone.

His upbringing in the slums has clung to him his whole life, even in the form of the lung disease he acquired from breathing the terrible quality air. It’s not that Akutagawa was born believing that life is worthless, this is something he was taught.

Not only has Akutagawa accepted the fact he was going to die young, he came to accept this fact when he was just a child. In his origin story he witnesses all of his friends he was surivving with die so easily, like their lives meant nothing at all. In response to this, Akutagawa tries to at least throw his life away and make his life mean something because he doesn’t want to be forgotten like that, to live miserable his entire life and die a miserable death.

Akutagawa gets so attached to Dazai, because Dazai is the first person in his life, and not only a person but an authority figure, to even acknowledge Akutagawa. If he was going to die for no reason, then Dazai’s acknowledgement is something it’s a reason.

What Akutagawa craves is a reason to keep on going, because so far for him life has been nothing but empty suffering.

“In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”

But, deep down what he wants is someone to tell him there’s more to life then just the bleak and empty existence in the slums. Not only that but, even someone like him born as a stray dog in the slums can live. He wants someone to tell him he can live, that there is something to live for, however, even if someone were to tell him that he probably wouldn’t be able to accept it.

After all, even if he decides to live his lung disease is going to kill him in a few years. Even if he decides to live, he lives in the kill or be killed world of the mafia where his boss stops caring about his well being if he’s not useful.

Akutagawa wants to be told his life is worth something, but deep down he’s internalized the idea that it’s worth nothing. He wants to live but he’s come to accept death.

All of Akutagawa’s harsher actions are in response to a harsh world. A world that has marked him for death. Even when he tries to reach out and help others, he doesn’t know how to show them how to live because he doesn’t know himself. The only way he knew how to make Kyouka survive was to turn her into a killer.

This is one of the many things that Atsushi misunderstands about Akutagawa. Atsushi often sees Akutagawa as a bully, killing people to prove how strong he is, because he believes he’s bettern than others. (We get it Atsushi baby, you have an inferiority complex.) When Autagawa is someone barely able to survive in this world. It’s not that Akutagawa believes that Kyouka’s life was worthless, it’s that he believes his own life was worthless.

And Akutagawa misunderstands something so simple, because it wasn’t told to him that he could live on his own. Because, the mafia, and even Dazai can keep him on a short leash if he’s continually fighting to live like a dog barking on the end of his chain.

When Akutagawa does not see himself as powerful and respected, and he definitely does not see himself as secure in any way. He sees himself as frail, weak, always on the brink of death and desperately to prove his position and keep onto his standing in the world. It’s been made clear to him countless times because he was born a poor boy in the slums he’s not going to be given anything, he has to earn it.

This is a recurring question asked about Akutagawa’s character. Is he struggling to survive, or is he preying on those weaker than him to secure his position in the world? I would say at least Akutagawa perceives it as the former. Deep down he views himself as weak and unworthy, so much so that no power he could possibly gain would ever be good enough. He views life as a compettition where he can die at any moment, and already having accepted his death, he goes all out against his opponents and expects his opponents to do the same to survive. However, Akutagawa is part of a predatory organization known as the port mafia, and the ideas that he’s inherited from that organization are all about the weak preying on the strong.

When fighting against scarlet letter his own body breaks on him, before he’s even able to continue the fight, and once again he demands his opponent fight him with everything he has. He keeps insisting they fight even struggling to breath, coughing up blood, with his body falling apart on him.

Akutagawa is a merciless killer, and yet he desires to live just like everybody else. He projects his own struggle onto everybody else as well, and believes they are all just like him, weak people struggling to survive even if that means eating others.That’s the paradox that’s always been at the center of his character, and there’s foiling with Dazai there.

They have both lived their entire lives, shadowed by death, to the point where they’ve come to define themselves entirely around that idea.

"Man fears death and yet, at the same time, man is drawn to death. Death is endlessly consumed by men in cities and in literature. It is a singular event in one's life that none may reverse. That is what I desire."

Akutagawa through his sickness and his life in the slums which has made it clear how worthless and cheap his own life is, and Dazai through his suicidal ideation and inability to relate to the others around him.

“Even if one were to bathe in the enternal wind, and simply become foam in the great sea without ever knowing who they were - without even getting a farewell...” Akutagawa muttered facing the heavens as if he were reciting a poem, “... the heart shall not move, for it is nothing compared with the loneliness of passing... without you ever knowing.”

Bungou Stray Dogs, 55 Minutes.

However while Dazai’s tendency is to be alone, Akutagwa’s fear is one of dying alone, dying unacknowledged, dying unconnected to anybody in this world. Because it’s the death that’s been waiting for him his entire life. He was going to die a stranger that nobody cared about in the slums, and he’s been desperately fighting against that. He wants someone to know him.

In other words Akutagawa can’t possibly live alone. In the most recent fight, Akutagawa confronts his own mortality again. This is another piece of yin and yang foiling between Akutagawa and Atsushi. Atsushi is young, full of life, and whenever he’s injured his injuries miraculously heal.

Akutagawa is sickly, dying already of a lung disease, and no injury ever quite heals on his body, he just gets worse and worse. Atsushi only believes it’s okay for him to live if he saves people. Akutagawa is a dying man, struggling, to make his death mean something.

Akutagawa already believes, already knows he’s going to die. How he’s going to live from this point on isn’t even a question to him. He never had a future in the first place.

However at the same time, no one has told Akutagawa that he can live. That he doesn’t have to earn it. That he’s worthy of living just by being born.

At the beginning of this fight when Atsushi confronted what he was most afraid of, which was solitude, Akutagawa appeared to save him. Which is why now when Akutagawa is in jeapordy, facing his worst fear.

Dying alone and unacknowledged. It will be Atsushi’s turn to remind Akutagawa that they are not alone. That the two of them are both struggling to live together. Those words they both want to hear that even people like them can live in this world, that it’s okay for them to live, is something they can tell each other.

#akutagawa ryunosuke #bsd meta #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs meta #atushi nakajima #shin soukoku #sskk #akutagawa #atsushi #bsd 87 #bsd 87 spoilers #bungou stray dogs 87

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biggest-stupidhead · 3 years

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Bad Timing (Levi x reader) Part 10

Summary: How do you tell your friends that you’re falling for your big brother’s best friend?

Word Count: 4.9 K

The loud buzzing of the tattoo gun was beginning to annoy Levi. The little pricks less annoying than the drone of the machine. He winced as the needle skimmed over a sensitive bit of skin.

"Try not to flinch." Farlan scolded as he readjusted his grip.

"Tch, sorry." Levi apologized through gritted teeth. Farlan reached for a wipe to clean off the excess ink, revealing the nearly finished piece. Like his other tattoos, this one was no different, the design was drawn out in thin delicate lines of ink. He had chosen to get this one on his tricep. Farlan spun his chair around to show Levi the design in the mirror, a flower, more specifically a lily of the valley. More specific yet, the flower for the month of May, the month his mother was born.

He nodded in appreciation a she admired the thin stem that led up to delicate bell shaped petals. The stems faded into a two leaves at the base of the design, they were all that needed to be filled in before the piece was complete.

"It looks good." Levi mused as he stared at the aggravated skin, the black lines were outlined with red angry skin.

"Thanks, I must admit I'm a bit rusty." Farlan chuckled as he leaned in with another wipe to clean the tattoo.

"Could've fooled me." Levi muttered as he turned in his chair to give Farlan better access.

"Let me finish this up and then we can go grab some lunch." Farlan gave the tattoo one last wipe down before he wrapped it in sandiderm. Once he was pleased with his work he tugged off the gloves and tossed them into the trash.

"Sounds good." Levi grunted as he stood up from the chair. Farlan had picked up tattooing as a side hustle, not that he booked many clients. It was more of a hobby for him, but he was rather good at it. As Farlan cleaned up the equipment and packed it back into his bag Levi went into the bathroom to wash up before they left for lunch. Isabel was out with friends, she hadn't been particularly interested in visiting the University with Levi and Farlan.

____

Levi trailed a few paces behind Farlan as they wondered through the sprawling campus. The campus had a dark academic vibe to it, with all the gothic architecture and the snowy lawns. Levi's trip was coming to a close, and he was glad that he had managed to squeeze in the visit. He spoke to an advisor, who was very enthusiastic about him applying. He figured that him coming from a single parent home, being an orphan with dual citizenship and good grades probably looked good for their statistics. So Levi and Farlan left, packets of information that they would need to apply. He decided that he should give Erwin a call, since he would be coming back home on the 26th, he originally intended on coming back after the new year but Hange had convinced him to come back early. Of course it was intended to be a surprise for Erwin and (Y/n), he felt bad for leaving Farlan and Isabel early but he figured that he could make up for the lost time when he got accepted into the University. They would have him all to themselves for four years if everything went according to plan.

"This place looks as good as any." Farlan paused in front of a small pub not too far from campus. Levi shrugged and kicked a chunk of ice out of his way. Farlan held the door open for him as they ducked into the dimly lit bar. The two settled into the barstools facing an impressive stock of alcohol, since it was about three in the afternoon the bar was basically empty save for a scraggly old dude that was mumbling to himself in a booth.

"Come here often?" Levi huffed as he inspected the sticky bar top. Farlan chuckled and waved for the bar tender.

"No actually, but I've heard that it's popular with the uni students." Faralan explained as he waited for the bar tender to finish counting the money in his hands.

"Two gin and tonics please." Farlan asked politely, the bar tender nodded and began to make the drinks.

"So you leave in what five days?" Farlan asked as he grabbed his drink and took a long swig.

"Yeah, sorry it was kind of last minute." Levi apologized, Farlan waved him off dismissively.

"Wait what did you get Isabel for Christmas this year?" Farlan asked as he slammed his already drained glass onto the counter.

"I bought her the DVD set for that one show she likes." Levi answered as he nursed his gin and tonic.

"Ah no way! That's a good one! The veterinary show right?" Farlan gushed, clearly impressed with Levi's choice of gift.

"Yeah that's the one." Levi nodded, a small smirk spreading across his lips.

"She'll love that. I got her some new jeans and a stuffed animal." Farlan shrugged, as he motioned for another drink.

"Not the shittiest choice." Levi mumbled as he brought his glass to his lips.

"Thank you Levi." Farlan held his glass up for a toast, and Levi indulged him, gently tapping his glass against Farlan's. Levi knocked back the rest of his drink before pulling out his phone to check his messages.

"What time should I pick you up from the airport?" Levi pursed his lips in thought before responding to Hange's text.

"Six in the morning." he typed his response quickly and sent it. He had already planned on arriving early to give himself plenty of time to prepare himself for the annual post Christmas party that your family hosted.

"See you then, don't have too much fun in France!" Hange's reply was instantaneous, Levi hated to admit it but he missed four-eyes and bushy brows. Hell he even missed Erwin's bratty sister.

_____

You draped your arm over your eyes in a feeble attempt to block out the blinding light that was flooding your living room. Although the snow was pretty, it sure was a bitch when the sun hit it, causing the light to reflect sharply in through the large windows in your living room. It was finally Christmas break, and you were enjoying it to it's fullest, basking in your sweats on the couch. Your mom had just gotten back from grocery shopping and was beginning to set out ingredients for the baking that she had planned to do for the rest of the afternoon. Erwin and Hange had gone ice skating with Mike and Nanaba, and planned to all meet up back at your house to assist your mom with the seasonal baking. Your phone chimed on the coffee table and you stretched to check it.

"Coffee and chill? 🥺" You rolled your eyes at Jean's message. He had been trying to contact you relentlessly for the past week. You had evaded him, not quite ready to confront him about his wrong doings. You ignored his text and instead favored to ask Mikasa if she wanted to come over to bake.

"hey I know it's been a while, but want to come over to bake cookies with me today? You could bring Armin and Eren if you want!" You sighed and dropped your phone back down onto the table with a sigh. You were pleasantly surprised by how quickly she responded.

"What time?"

"an hour?"

"See you then :)" You smiled at the screen as you read her response. You always thought it was cute how she preferred to use characters instead of emojis when she texted. You decided that a shower would be a good idea since so many people were coming over now, so you hustled up stairs. You were thankful that Hange and Erwin weren't home because they had made a habit of interrupting your showers. Whether it was Hange trying to join you in the shower to "save water" or Erwin coming in to take a massive dump while you were in the shower. So you fully took advantage of your uninterrupted shower time while you could. You took your time, washing your hair and the rest of your body and enjoying the hot water. By the time you were finished the bathroom was cloudy with steam from the hot shower. You wrapped yourself in towel and scurried to your room to change. You pulled on a pair of leggings and a cropped fitted turtleneck. You then proceeded to tug on a faded crew neck to complete the look. You loped down the stairs, but paused about half way down. The sound of shoes being toed off and a coat being hung up made you rethink your decision.

"Oh Kenny! I'm so glad you made it!" Your mom gushed and you bristled. It wasn't that you didn't like Kenny, it was just that you weren't expecting him. It seemed that your house needed to keep an Ackerman on hand at all times because as soon as Levi left Mikasa and Kenny began coming around more frequently. Your mom invited Kenny over for coffee on Sunday mornings and you invited Mikasa over for sleepovers and craft nights.

"Hey sorry I'm late, I brought booze though." Kenny's rough voice felt foreign to your ears. Despite his sudden presence at your house he still felt like a stranger to you. Of course you could only blame yourself here, you tried your best to avoid him and his questions, not sure how you felt about the gruff man. He seemed nice enough but you weren't quick to trust him, Erwin certainly wasn't either.

"Ah (Y/n)! Perfect timing! Come down stairs and say hello." your mom called out, you winced but obeyed, descending the last few steps.

"Hey there kiddo, how's it hangin'?" Kenny drawled as you slunk into the kitchen sheepishly.

"Hey Kenny, I'm good how are you?" You asked politely, aiming to please your mother more than Kenny. The man smiled triumphantly and leaned further back into his seat.

"I'm fantastic." he stated with a smug smirk plastered on his lips.

"Mom, I invited Mikasa, Amrin, and Eren over is that alright?" you asked, dismissing Kenny.

"Yeah of course baby, the more the merrier!" she cooed as she continued to set up the mixer and prop up the cook book.

"So my little niece will be joining us tonight?" Kenny affirmed as he stood to help your mother untangle to cord of the mixer.

"Yeah." you trailed off, not sure if this was good or bad. Although the pair had both been frequenting your house recently, they hadn't run into one another yet. You knew that Levi had a bad relationship with his uncle, so you could only assume that Mikasa's relationship was also just as rocky.

"haven't seen that brat since she was in diapers." Kenny mused as he flipped through the cook book.

"really? Well she sure has grown. Such a lovely young woman." Your mother sighed dreamily as she thought about Mikasa.

"Glad to hear it.." Kenny mumbled as he paused on a gingerbread recipe. Before you could decode the meaning behind his bland tone, the door flew open and Hange sauntered in. Today she was dressed for the weather in a downy parka and leggings with a thick crewneck. Erwin followed close behind, dressed in joggers and a t-shirt, he tended to get hot easily. Mike however was different. Mike was dressed for Arctic temperatures with a thick quarter zip underneath his north face and a pair of denim jeans on his legs. Nanaba wore a quarter zip as well but leggings instead of jeans. You rushed to help them shove their coats into the cramped closet and put snowy shoes over vents to melt off the ice. Soon they were all crowding into the kitchen, Mike was quick to help your mom set out ingredients while Erwin went to light the fireplace. Hange was rushing up the stairs and Nanaba was skimming through the cook book.

Ah yes such a familiar scene. You immediately felt better in the presence of the upperclassmen, Kenny seemed to melt into the background as he watched you all fall into a familiar rhythm. Erwin returned to the kitchen, dusting his hands off as he entered.

"Hey." He greeted you with a slight nod before he stooped to pull a baking sheet out of the cabinets.

"How was ice skating?" you asked as you leaned against the counter near Erwin.

"Cold, we saw Petra and Oluo there." Erwin mused as he sat the sheet down with a clatter.

"Really? Are they a thing?" you quizzed, your interest piqued.

"Couldn't say, wouldn't surprise me though." Erwin shrugged, his large frame pressed against the counter opposite to allow Nanaba to squeeze through.

"I don't know Erwin, last time I spoke to her she seemed pretty fixed on Levi." Nanaba interjected as she stooped to pull out a bowl.

"I thought she was over him. He left her hanging at my house a few months back remember?" Mike reminded Nanaba who pursed her lips in thought.

"Oh yeah I remember that...she was upset." Nanaba agreed as she sat the bowl in front of you on the counter.

"Then why was she with Oluo huh riddle me that." Erwin challenged, a sly smirk on his lips.

"Oh they've always been close, doesn't mean she likes him or anything." Nanaba scoffed.

"Well he sure likes her, saw him checking out her ass." Mike chuckled, your mom gasped and hit him upside the head.

"That's enough you guys! (Y/n), Kenny mix cut this butter up." Your mom ordered, grabbing you by the bicep to drag you over to Kenny at the island. She dropped a huge brick of butter in front of the two of you along with two butter knives.

"Oh I can do it on my own mom." you insisted with wide eyes.

"Nonsense, show Kenny how it's done." she slapped you on the back and turned to help Mike crack eggs into the wet ingredients bowl. You and Kenny shared an uneasy glance, you took the knife and sliced the chunk of butter in half. You slid half to Kenny and took the other half for yourself. You began to slice the butter into thin chunks and drop them into a bowl. Kenny watched with raised brows, the knife hanging loosely in his hand. You spared him a glance and an amused huff.

"Just slice it into chunks and drop them in this bowl." you instructed, pushing the bowl closer to him. He chuckled and then began to tediously cut the butter into uneven chunks. You nodded in approval as he began to gain confidence.

"Where does this go once it's done?" Kenny asked as he finished chopping the butter.

"In the mixer." You directed, as you wiped your hands on a damp rag. The doorbell chimed and you weaved through the kitchen to answer it. You were greeted by the familiar faces of Mikasa, Armin, and Eren. The trio piled into the house and kicked off their shoes and shrugged off jackets.

"Perfect timing guys, we just started making cookies." You said as you helped Armin out of his coat.

"Great! We brought our piping tips." Eren said, holding up a plastic bag filled with piping equipment.

"Oh yeah I forgot that you're a natural at cookie decorating Mikasa!" you complimented as you guided them into the kitchen. You placed the bag next to Kenny who was staring at Mikasa with slightly widened eyes, she returned his gaze with a surprised expression.

"Hey hothead!" Hange called out to Eren in a sing song voice as she descended the stairs.

"O-Oh Hange!" Eren cringed at her volume as she swang into the kitchen.

"Hange!" Armin cried out excitedly, you'd known that Armin looked up to the brunette due to her intelligence.

"Aw hello coconut head." she cooed as she ruffled Armin's blonde mop of hair.

"And baby Ackerman!" Hange giggles, turning her attention to Mikasa who was scowling at the brunette.

"So nice to see you all!" Hange gushed as she pulled on an apron.

"That was an awful long shit. You constipated or something?" Mike scoffed as he whisked the eggs.

"Ha ha very funny Mike." Hange scoffed as she sidled up next to Erwin who was crushing almonds loudly with a rolling pin.

"I'm just trying to pick up the slack. Someone needs to make Levi's crass jokes for him." Mike sighed, setting the whisk aside.

"Ah I'm sure he will appreciate the sentiment." Erwin approved with a chuckle and another jaw-rattling smash of the rolling pin.

"Kids why don't you start rolling this dough out and cut them with these." Your mother instructed as she thrust the large mixing bowl into your hands and pointing over to Kenny. You led Mikasa, Armin, and Eren over to the open counter space. Mikasa was side eyeing Kenny as she sprinkled some flour out.

"I want to make a penis." Eren remarked, a stupid look on his face as he looked to Armin for approval.

"That's inappropriate Eren." Armin chided as he reached for the dough in the bowl. He dropped the heavy ball of dough with a thump and a whoosh of flour.

"Hah! I'd like to see it!" Kenny chortled as he brushed some flour off his shirt.

"See he gets me!" Eren chuckled as Armin began to roll out the dough. Mikasa and you both rolled your eyes at the boys. Nanaba breezed by and brushed her hand across both yours and Mikasa's shoulders as she passed.

"You girls want pizza?" She asked with an angelic smile as she stopped by the landline.

"Yes please!" Eren answered before either of you could.

"Shut up Eren!" You snapped before turning to look at Nanaba who was holding the phone up to her ear already.

"Yes please Nanaba, can you put pineapple on one of them?" you asked with a sweet smile.

"Ew pineapple on pizza are you insane?!" Hange screeched from across the kitchen.

"Now now, if you order one with pineapple I'll eat it." Kenny agreed as he pressed a cookie cutter deep into the dough.

"Ugh, you guys are disgusting." Mike shook his head in disappointment as he poured the liquid ingredients into the dry ones for the next batch of cookies.

"Alright everyone be quiet while I order this." Nanaba ordered as she pressed the phone between her ear so she could jot down the orders on a pad of paper. The volume in the kitchen fell from a roar to a soft murmur as Nanaba placed the order. Once Nanaba hung up the phone the bustle picked right back up. The cookie hustle only stopped once all the dough was in the oven and the pizza had arrived.

When it was all said and done you all settled in the living room to watch christmas movies and eat pizza. As the movie began to play you finally took some time to check your phone for the first time all afternoon. You were surprised to see at least twenty messages on instagram from a swagmasterfarlan. You clicked on the first message and your frown deepened.

"cutte assf."

"Let me show you parish"

"I cantreat you right."

":)"

The seventeen other messages followed a similar pattern. You noticed that the last message that had been sent two hours ago. You glanced at the clock and frowned, it was already eight pm. You considered blocking the account but upon checking, you realized that it was Farlan's side account. You'd seen drunk texts before and these were no different. You glanced up to see Kenny with his hat over his eyes as he snored on the arm chair. Your mom was already dozing off on the couch with her feet in Erwin's lap, Erwin had an arm around Hange who was babbling about special effects to no one in particular. Nanaba and Mike were in their own little world on the floor as they watched the movie. Eren and Armin were joking in hushed voices as Mikasa's head lolled against your shoulder. Yeah you could use some entertainment.

"I would love to see parish." you smiled at your response as you sent it. Not two minutes later a new message appeared.

"Woh, I'm durnk as shit."

"yes you are swagmaster ;)" you responded with a giggle.

"Let facetime before levi punches my face." Farlan's words were becoming clearer so you figured that he must be sobering up to some degree.

"Alright." as soon as the read receipts confirmed that he had gotten the message your phone buzzed as he called you. Mikasa grunted as you shifted to answer the call, you answered on the third ring, thankful for the darkness in the room which concealed your features for the most part.

"Heyyyyy kid!" Farlan drawled, you could tell he was in his apartment, the surroundings familiar due to the times you had facetimed Levi.

"Hey Farlan, nice to finally meet you. I've heard all kinds of things." You chuckled as he squinted at his screen.

"No kidding! Hey what time is it over there?" Farlan questioned as he brought his phone closer to his face, giving you a perfect view of his eyebrows.

"It's about 8:30 here, what time is it in perish?" You mocked his blunder from earlier and he gasped in offense.

"That's cold!" he moaned, playing along with your joke.

"Spell it right next time!" you snickered, you glanced up from your phone and met Hange's curious gaze, her head tilted to the left. When you returned your attention back to your phone you were surprised to see the camera was no longer on Farlan's face. Instead it was spinning, the sound of grunting and shuffling was deafening. You winced the struggle continues for a few moments before there was a thud and a deep groan.

"Get into bed now before I punch your lights out." Levi's voice was gravely and strained with exhaustion as he spoke. Hange's ears were still perked as she tried to figure out who you were on the phone with. Once she heard Levi's voice she stood up and skipped over to the sofa to sit next to you.

"I'm serious Farlan this isn't cute get the fuck in that bed or so help me-" the phone clattered down to the floor, and you could make out the sound of stumbling footsteps.

"What is going on?" Hange asked as she leaned on your free shoulder to see the screen. You shrugged and bit your lip as you tried to decipher what was going on.

"No Levi, I've got to talk to her, she's still on the phone!" Farlan grumbled, his voice sounded a bit far away.

"You can talk to her tomorrow just go lay down already." just by the tone of his voice you could guess that he was pinching the bridge of his nose the way he did when he was frustrated.

"nah I'll just go grab my phone and-"

"No." the sound of bed springs creaking and Farlan grunting hinted that he had been pushed onto a bed. After a few more moments of the bed creaking and incoherent mumbling, the sound of footsteps approached the phone and then finally the camera was turned back towards the ceiling as it was picked up. And then Levi's face filled the screen, his eyes widened in surprise, you snapped a screenshot of the moment much to his displeasure.

"What the fuck." he huffed as he took in both you and Hange's amused expressions.

"Hey Levi! How's it going?" Hange cooed as she angled your wrist to show more of her face.

"How-"

"He called me." You answered quickly as you angled the phone back onto your face.

"why?" Levi interrogated. You simply shrugged as you took in his face. You were relieved to see that he looked the same, maybe his eye bags were a bit darker, and his hair a tad longer. But otherwise, he was the same.

"What are you doing?" Levi continued to grill you, to answer his question you panned the camera around the room, sure to not linger on Kenny who was snoring in the chair across the room.

"Thrilling." he scoffed when you brought the camera back to your face.

"Yeah, we spent the day baking. What about you? Seems like you guys are busy." You began your own interrogation.

"Yeah, Farlan had one too many at the bar." Levi agreed as he dropped down into an arm chair with a heavy sigh.

"And you? Did you have anything to drink?" Hange asked with a sly smirk. Levi's brow creased at her suggestive tone.

"If you must know, no I did not drink.... a lot." he answered.

"Lucky, I wish I was drunk right now." you sighed wistfully.

"I never said I was drunk." Levi clarified.

"Any big plans for your birthday Levi?" You asked, quick to change the subject.

"No, just dinner and gifts." Levi replied with a shrug as he sank into the chair.

"That sounds nice." you smiled, Hange dropped her head to your shoulder, her chin digging into your shoulder as she did so. Levi shrugged and averted his gaze for a moment.

"Where's Isabel?" Hange asked as here eyes scanned the background, which was too dark to really reveal anything.

"In her room playing some stupid video game." Levi scoffed as he cocked his head in the direction which you assumed Isabel's room was.

"Fun." Hange mused as she closed her eyes.

"And you? What are your plans for Christmas?" Levi's question surprised you, but you still answered.

"Same as always, gifts in the morning, breakfast, hopefully be plastered by 2." you sighed, Levi scoffed at your answer but seemed satisfied.

"What about the 26th?" Levi asked carefully. you pursed your lips as you thought about your schedule.

"Hmm well I'm not sure, probably-"

"Oh I forgot to tell you, Annie is hosting a party and asked me if you'd come." Mikasa's sleepy voice startled you.

"Really? Huh that's weird. Are you going?" you asked, tilting your face down to speak to her.

"Yeah. We're smoking weed." Mikasa mumbled, her eyes still shut.

"Guess I'll go too." you shrugged. Meanwhile Hange and Levi shared a wide-eyed glance, this could throw off their plans. More specifically Hange's plans, even more specifically her plan to set you and Levi up.

"Weed?" Levi asked, clearing his throat after the word fell from his lips. You knew that he had smoked the stuff in the past, but recently he had stuck to his juul and the occasional dab pen.

"yeah, Annie has like 30 grams right now." Mikasa answered.

"I've never smoked weed before." you mused, excitement bubbling up in your chest at the thought of the chance for a new experience.

"Eh it's okay." Mikasa shrugged.

"Guess I'll just have to try it for myself." you teased, nudging her with your shoulder.

"Guess you will." Mikasa mumbled before falling silent once more.

"Well there you have it. I'm going to Annie's on the 26th." you smiled as you answered Levi's original question. With the 26th only three days away, it gave you something to look forward to.

"Fine. Do what you want." Levi rolled his eyes and stood from his chair, his whole vibe seemed to change. You wondered if it had been something you'd said or if he was just growing bored.

"I've got to go. Farlan's phone is almost dead." Levi said as he walked through the apartment.

"Oh well it was nice-" before you could finish he had already hung up, or the phone had died.

"Classic Levi." Hange chuckled as she rose up, stretching her stiff muscles before returning to Erwin's side. You rolled your eyes and sat your phone down in defeat. You reached behind you for a throw blanket to cover you and Mikasa, you shuffled over a bit so you were snuggled between the arm of the couch and Mikasa, who had followed you. Using the arm as a pillow you lied down as much as you could with Mikasa still using your side as a pillow, she had stretched out as well to prop her feet up in Eren's lap. Eren was already passed out, his head leaning against Armin's shoulder, who was in a similar position to you. It was nice, you hadn't made much time for nights like these recently. Since you had spent most of your time with Jean you had neglected your friends, and you felt awful about it.

You had missed them deeply, in fact this had probably been the longest you'd gone without a weekend like this. Your family had been close to the Jeagers since you were babies. Your mom and Dr. Jeager both worked at the same hospital and often worked together, they had only grown closer when your father died of cancer when you were 9. Grisha and Carla had helped your mother our a lot the months following his death. Meaning you spent a lot of time with Eren and Mikasa, and by extension Armin. That same year was when they took in Mikasa since Kenny had been deemed "unfit" for a second child in his care. You assumed that the Jeagers would be coming over for Lunch like they always did on Christmas, as well as Armin and his grandfather. You felt your eyelids grow heavy as you thought about all the preparations that were needed for you to host this year, and before you knew it you had fallen asleep.

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snaxpo · 3 years

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fuck it bugsnax/s4m au notes

alternate title: i’m at that point in liking something where i have to combine it with everything else i’ve liked previously and today i’m making that everyone else’s problem.

- base premise is a lil different! instead of being a journalist who was invited personally to the island by the expedition leader, you (or FK if you consider them a separate character from the player) are tasked with investigating the habitat, a budding commune on snaktooth island that may or may not be devolving into a cult. there’s just one teeny tiny problem - the commune’s leader and also your main suspect, boris habit, has been missing for weeks by the time you arrive.

- now it’s a matter of gaining the inhabitants’ trust/getting them to come back to the habitat while hunting and subduing the bugsnax, who seem increasingly eager to launch themselves at inhabitants at quite literally dangerous speeds, in a battle of wits to keep your newfound companions fed while documenting the strange creatures. and of course, the question of just what happened to boris habit still lingers in the air. think like... talentless nana where the protag pretends to be all cute and unassuming (complete with flower motifs!) but really they’re there on Super Secret Spy Business. but of course there’s less murder.

- oddly the bugsnax seem to have only become more aggressive after his disappearance. i’m sure it’s nothing.

- yes everyone is still a grumpus

- there isn’t really an interview “mechanic” so much as it is a Lot of cozying up to everybody in pursuit of whatever information you can find on habit/potential group rituals/events that led to his disappearance; you get it by bits and pieces rather than a single structured interview. there is of course a lot more interactions between characters than there is in s4m’s base game bc thats like 60% of the appeal of bugsnax and i would be a fool not to think of it.

- time for ideas for specific characters! kamal is the vice-mayor of the habitat and has been habit’s right-hand grump for as long as any of the inhabitants can remember, despite their relationship becoming increasingly strained ever since their arrival on the island, and especially before habit’s disappearance. i imagine you still find him passed out but instead of collapsing from starvation he’s like "please.... toothpaste... a breath mint.... some pepto bismol. i’ve been able to taste my own breath for weeks." has been trying to divide his time between looking after the habitat and looking for habit himself (and also his best friend wallus) but the dispersal of the habitat has left him a tad Demoralized, to say the least.

- i feel like trencil would play a wambus-adjacent role in the sense that he's the one taking care of the sauce plants and also one of the first townspeople you meet. you convince to come back with you not necessarily bc he'd be able to continue farming in town but bc he would probably have an easier time looking for his daughter if he got some sleep first (but only if you look for her in his stead)

- gillis is like. a wannabe chandlo. makes you capture a bunch of snax that he Says he's gonna use to get stronger but eventually you find out he's been releasing them or keeping them in like lil makeshift pet houses bc he always takes one look at their big googly eyes and turns to mush. but EVERYONE'S eating them so naturally if they find out he's not they're gonna think he's some kinda wuss so he just pretends.

- dallas keeps asking for sweet n colorful bugsnax to give to mirphy to impress her (sweetieflies, instabugs, etc etc.) but by some streak of bad luck they always end up being her least favorite. he tries to see if Maybe he can use them to make some new bugsnak-exclusive pigments, but like in canon they always end up turning into mush before he can get very far. mirphy meanwhile is far more interested in preserving them for a potential display, but similar to dallas, she never gets very far.

- i imagine the kid habiticians are like. a roving band of semi-feral children bc if anyone's gonna keep them in town it's definitely not kamal.

- i wanna do something with wallus SO BAD like you find him somewhere up in frosted peak but i have no idea what he would even DO its fucking killing me

- those are all the ideas i have For Now; s4m has more characters than bugsnax so there’s a lot to be done w/ them lmao. if i think of any more i’ll probably put it in another post or if anybody wants to spitball with me....... 👀

- and now we get to The Big Guns: habit.

- he was fun to work on w/ this au mostly bc despite being the rough equivalent of lizbert he’s a way different type of flawed leader than her; where liz is responsible to the point of martyring herself without a second thought and not thinking to delegate any tasks to the other snaxburg residents, which is what ultimately causes them to fall apart once she disappears, habit's deal is that he wants the position and appearance of an authority figure because it'll keep him safe, but he kind of sucks at taking responsibility for anything he does wrong because he’s spent most of his life acting according to what other people (namely his family) expect of him and being met with a negative reception no matter what, so he doesn’t really believe he has power over anything, including his own actions, despite being such a control freak for most of his own game. so his arc would need something that’s kind of antithetical to what liz had, wouldn’t it?

- so what i got so far is that au habit was tryin to covertly start a bugsnax cult bc he sees being asborbed by the snax as a sort of ascension and was eventually planning to have everyone be absorbed; it’s important to note however that bc information on bugsnax is so obscure he doesn’t actually 100% know how absorption works so tl;dr: habit became the bugsnax monarch willingly and then 5 seconds later he was like "oh no wait this fucking sucks. what have i done. shit. fuck."

- unable to cope with the realization that he was once again forced to act in accordance to someone (or in this case something) else's desires, he shuts down emotionally, becoming an empty husk of a grumpus while the bugsnax above run rampant thanks to the extra fuel and absolutely no restrictions until the Big Climax when habit is finally moved to take back control of the snax and by proxy Take Some Fucking Responsibility for knowingly luring people to cthulhu island. however this does leave the obvious question of if he was such an empty shell for most of the game why didn’t they just. eat him.

- the answer i eventually landed on was that his self-preservation instincts were still kicking on a subconscious level and during the aforementioned climax he eventually realizes that he does not in fact want to die, he just doesn’t want to keep living the way he is now (as part of an ancient hivemind beyond his understanding) or the way he was before (you know.)

- also fun fact: i was thinking about what his monarch body would be based off of bc the snakdragon, while cool as shit, didn’t feel right for him, and then i remembered that blooming onions exist. i imagine he’s in the middle acting as the flower’s “stigma”

- as for endings i’m thinking like. in the neutral ending kamal joins habit but its left ambiguous whether or not they'll ever be able to leave the island or if this is even a permanent solution (call that the paw in unloveable paw ending). in the good ending you bust habit outta his queen body after fending off enough bugsnax together and it’s super gross bc the undersnax as a whole is super gross but hey at least everyone’s leaving alive. i don’t know what a bad ending entails except most if not all of the cast is dead and habit is left alone on the island surrounded by reminders of his spectacular failure.

- hell i can even think of a sequel hook for the good ending like in canon bugsnax; some time after the ending/credits you ask habit just Where did he get the information on bugsnax that led to him being like “you could make a religion out of this” and the screen fades to black before you hear his answer. there.

- its almost midnight.

#text post #bugsnax #smile for me #smile for me game #s4m #bugsnax spoilers #au

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justcallmenikki7 · 4 years

Text

Love at first Sight

BTS!Twilight!Au & Supernatural!Au

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Trying to be a good college student, you decide to study with your best friend in the universities library. But all it takes is one look at the bunny like boy to find your soulmate.

Warnings: FLUUUF, Jungkook trying to be patient with you but all he wants is for you to accept him and the imprint bond, angst, minor character death, Werewolf!Jungkook, BTS in general, reader nervous and trying to decide what’s right

W.C.: 4k

Notes: So, I have had this in my drafts for so long, and I was wanting to stick with the headcanons, but I was wanting to get this out so badly so I am doing just that. I will have Jungkook’s HC posted soon!!

Ever since you met Lisa Manoban at the age of sixteen, you entered the world of the supernatural. At first, you had no clue about the supernatural, even though you were friends with a vampire for a year, Lisa had kept her identity hidden from you. You were oblivious, never catching onto how she would stay up all night, not once being tired, how she was constantly cold, and how she had talked about history as if she lived in it. In your defense, you believed that she was a huge history geek.

But that was all washed away when you walked in on her sucking blood from a human. Looking back on it, the both of you laugh about the situation. But in that moment, you believed that you were somehow drugged on your way to her house. In honesty, you were very calm about the whole situation, minus the dead body on the ground fifteen feet away from you.

Two years later, you believe that you are a genius when it comes to the supernatural. Having a best friend who is a three-hundred-year-old vampire who has told you everything about the supernatural world is cool. Learning about demons, ghosts, werewolves, vampires, and even Gods is handy.

“Why can’t the dogs stay outside where they belong?” Your best friend, Lisa, groaned.

“Why are you even breathing? You don’t need to breathe,” you commented, not looking up from your textbook.

“Because I enjoy the smell of old books, but the dogs are tainting it with their wet dog smell,” she countered back, knowing that the werewolves themselves can hear her. A growl ripping through the air was a tell-tale sign that they did, only to be answered by a smirk from Lisa.

Lisa, in short, can be considered as a sadistic person because she loved messing with people, especially the wolves. You knew that she could defend herself, being alive for 300 years has given here plenty of experience to take care of herself.

“Can you stop tormenting the wolves and help me study?” You asked, looking up at her.

Pouting, “I guess.”

Movement from the other side of the room caught your attention. Looking over, your eyes were met with a pair of doe like eyes. That was when you felt like everything was put together – as if you found the one thing that you have been searching for your entire life.

“Oh, hell no,” you heard Lisa protest, standing up, collecting both of yours books, shaking you out of your trance.

The sound of a primal, possessive growl cut through the air, making a shiver of familiarity and want go down your spine. But then you also wanted to calm down them and make sure that they are okay.

“What’s going on? Why are we leaving?”

Before your questions could be answered, you felt a warm presence behind you. All you wanted to do was fall back into them, to be able to soak up their warmth and hide away in what you would consider to be home.

“Back away from my mate, blood sucker.” The person behind you demanded, leaving no room for questions.

“Blood sucker? Oh, that’s fucking rich.” Lisa gave out a sarcastic laugh, stepping around the table to get closer to the wolf that you have yet to put a name too.

Turning around, you were met with the one and only, Jeon Jungkook. You were at first confused on why he was so close to you, and even associating with you guys. But once his eyes met yours, you put the pieces together.

You are Jeon Jungkook’s imprint.

Lisa has told you stories about how only a select group of supernatural creatures have an imprint. She told you about how since the beginning of time, werewolves had a mate for life, or imprint, given to them. If that werewolf was rejected, then they were to become physically, mentally, and emotionally empty because they have lost their other half. In some rare cases, they die from depression. Nothing, no one, could heal them and bring them back to normal. They literally cannot move on.

“That is why I am very happy that vampires do not have an imprint because I’d rather die than be rejected by the one person I am made for,” Lisa admitted.

That is why he called you his mate, you added.

That is why you were in that trance.

Oh shit. Mentally you are face palming yourself for being slow.

Standing up from your chair, you stepped in between the two angry supernatural beings.

“Hold on,” you began.

“There’s no holding on. He just called me a fucking blood sucker.” Lisa practically screamed, hating that title.

“Lisa,” you said calmly, knowing how to handle her. “Go wait for me outside and we can go back to my place and study, okay?”

“You’re not going with her.” Jungkook jumped in, stepping closer to you.

Turning towards him, eyes narrowed. “And you do not have the ability, or say, or right, to tell me what I can and cannot do.” Your voice was stern, showing where you draw the line. Even though the look of hurt and defeat on his face made your heart clench sadly, you were not going to allow yourself to be in a position where you were bossed around.

“But she’s dangerous,” Jungkook tried to reason, desperateness evident his voice, both his inner wolf and him dreading the thought of you leaving with the vampire girl.

A scoff from Lisa confirmed that she did not go outside like you asked her too. “And you’re not?”

“She’s my imprint,” Jungkook growled, eyes turning to an almost charcoal black, hands shaking from anger.

Not knowing what to do, you stepped closer to Jungkook. Your actions seemed to have calmed him down slightly, and you could see movement behind him, alerting you that he has his pack behind him. “I know that I am your imprint, but that does not mean that you can tell me what I can and cannot do. I am going to leave with Lisa and that is final.”

Your words seemed to have broken him, and you could understand why because of how rejecting it sounded.

“You’re rejecting me?” He choked out, voice cracking and he looked so torn. The sight breaking your heart, something inside of you feels like it has died.

“No, but I need time to process this.” Your confirmation relaxed him and you, along with his pack who let out a breath that they have been holding this whole time.

Nodding his head reluctantly, he stepped away from you, something similar to a whine of sadness coming from his throat. Never has Jeon Jungkook felt so small in his life.

Giving him a sad smile, “Just give me time, please.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

*****************************************************************************

You have to admit, Jungkook does not give up.

He has allowed you time to think about it, but you did not realize how many classes you had with him. Jungkook and his friends were rumored to be a gang called BTS, Kim Namjoon being the supposed leader. And they were not the only ‘gang’ to be at the university. There was ‘GOT7,’ ‘Seventeen’ and even ‘NCT,’ which so happened to be friends with BTS. You knew of them, having seen them around campus, but never have talked to them, besides Jung Hoseok, Jungkook’s pack member. The two of you were lab partners in Astronomy last semester.

But ever since you found out that Jungkook was your mate, he began to show up to class now. Of course, he did show up every now and then, probably three times a week. Now, he is showing up everyday and is now sitting behind you. His presence both overwhelms you and brings you a sense of security. You can feel his stare on you in class and around campus. You know that he is close by when you get a tingly feeling in your chest, a tell tale sign that tells you that your imprint is near. The both of you have yet to talk because each time he approaches you, you freak out and run away, dragging Lisa with you. You know that your actions hurt him when you do this. The tightness and longing in your chest is a sign that Jungkook is hurting.

Every night you talk to Lisa about your situation. You have not put it off at all, something that you know that Jungkook is assuming that you are doing when Hoseok stopped you in the hallway. The thing is, you are terrified. You are terrified because you are nineteen with zero experience in the dating field. Being single your whole life is backfiring on you right now. You do not know what to expect or even know what to do. Plus, what if Jungkook is only feeling this way because you are his mate and he only wants to live? Is he just using you because you are his imprint, or does he seriously want to be with you and be committed?

Those questions earned you a slap from Lisa. “Dumbass, did you not listen to me when I explained to you how imprinting works? When a person imprints on someone, all that they see and want is them. Everyone else becomes irrelevant. Their loyalty stands with you, and their pack. Nothing and no one can break the bond that they have with you. It is said that the Moon Goddess herself made the bond not even break in death. Loyalty is the most important thing in the wolf world. I can bet my life that Jungkook is thinking about you right now. Well, I know he is because Kim Namjoon came up to me and asked me to talk to you, which is funny because he thinks that I haven’t, and gets you to talk to Jungkook. Supposedly Jungkook is acting like a scolded puppy and is pouting because you keep avoiding him.”

That is why you were not surprised when Jungkook cornered you one day (the day Lisa had to miss class) in the hallway. The distressed look on Jungkook’s face told you that he in fact is panicking. “I’m sorry, I know that I promised you that I would give you space, but I cannot stop thinking about you and needing to be in your presence. Both my wolf and I are freaking out. All we need is an answer, or at least a hint so we can calm down. I am so sorry for pressuring you.” He rushed out, leaning back to give you space. Running a hand through his hair, you could see how nervous he is.

“I’m sorry for being slow on getting back to you, I didn’t realize how badly this has been affecting you. I should’ve thought about that instead of being ignorant.”

Shaking his head violently, “No, no! Don’t apologize, I totally understand why you are taking a while. I just, my instincts were taking over because my wolf and I were needing to have some sort of contact with you to help calm down.”

“What fur color is your wolf?” You asked randomly, surprising Jungkook.

Smiling, “Black. Midnight black to be more specific,” he answered.

“That’s cool! Are you the only one with the fur color in your pack, or?”

“Yoongi-hyung has the same fur color, but his has a much darker tent than mine. Even though I have incredible sight, sometimes I can’t see him because of how well he blends in with his surroundings at night.”

“That’s really cool!” You boasted, becoming very intrigued with what you are learning about.

Jungkook flashed you a smile, making you smile back at him by how contagious it was. Clearing his throat, “So, uh, does this mean that like…”

“Yes,” you began, trying to calm your racing heart from the hopeful look on Jungkook’s face, “But, I don’t want to jump right into a relationship. I’ve never had a relationship before, and I don’t want to jump into one right yet.”

Trying to keep the sad look from showing, Jungkook still smiled brightly. “Of course! I don’t want you to be in a position where you feel uncomfortable.”

“Thanks for being understanding!”

And understanding he is.

After your guys talk, the both of you swapped phone numbers and even each other’s social media. Jungkook was determined to start a streak with you on snapchat and become your number one best friend on it, something you found funny. From then on out Jungkook became a constant in your life, a constant that Lisa does not like – mainly because she is not a fan of wolves. She, though, is happy to see how happy you have become, especially after your mother’s death. She could not deny how lovesick Jungkook is for you and how attentive he is with you. Her and the rest of BTS laugh with each other on how alert Jungkook becomes when you are doing something.

“Hey, I’m going to go and get some more ketchup.” You got up from the table and headed straight towards the counter that held the ketchup.

Lisa watched Jungkook stare at you as you walked off, never once taking his eyes off you. It was like a foreshadowing moment that Jungkook had – jumping up from his chair, he made his way towards you, tugging your arm towards him before you turned around and slipped in the puddle that was right below your feet. Lisa must admit that she did not even notice the puddle that was below your feet. Being a vampire, her eyesight and hearing are very advanced. So, seeing that Jungkook noticed it and prevented a scene of you falling, she could not deny the fondness that she is beginning to have towards the wolf.

But she believes that Jungkook has a sixth sense when it comes to you. And Jungkook does. The moment he woke up he could feel that there was something wrong with you. He does not know what, but the heavy feeling that him and his wolf felt was a sign that you were not okay.

And you are not.

Today marks the two-year death anniversary of your mom. Of course, everyday since that day has been hell, but knowing that two years ago, just a few hours before her death was the last time you got to hear her voice, feel her touch, and be with her. You hate yourself for not staying any longer with her, for not taking her with you when you had that ability.

You heard your phone buzzing like crazy, but you did not even bother with picking it up. All you did was stare at the wall in a void like state. You ignored Lisa’s knocking on your door, her calls, and worried voice. She knew what day this was, and she knew that it was going to be a difficult and long day. She was worried that you were going to relapse, worried that you will drift off into that dark place that took her months to get you out of.

That is why at 9:53 a.m. she was not that surprised to open the door to find a panicking Jeon Jungkook.

“Where is Y/N? Why is she not answering my calls?” He asked quickly, only to pause once he could sense that you were close. “What’s wrong with Y/N?”

The vampire sighed, “Jungkook, I hate that I have to say this, but Y/N may not want to see you right now. Today is a very bad day for her.”

“Please let me in.” Jungkook begged, distressed that he cannot comfort you. With that, the statement that Lisa said made Jungkook and his wolf even more distressed, if that was even possible. “I just need to be with her, help her. I won’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t.”

Running her hand down her face, Lisa sighed and allowed the wolf in after a few minutes of thinking. “Second door on the right, the door is unlocked.”

As if he was a dog chasing after a ball, Jungkook charged towards your door. Being cautious, he opened the door quietly, being met with the smell of regret, longing, and sadness. His wolf whimpered at the sight of their mate in such a depressed state. Walking in quietly, Jungkook took off his shoes and did the one thing that he knows that will work.

Lifting the covers, he caught your attention, “Jung—”

“-Hey,” he smiled at you, not believing that he was in front of a goddess. No matter what state you are in, you will always look beautiful in his eyes.

“Why are you here and not asleep? You usually wake up at 2 in the afternoon on the weekends?”

“I could sense something is wrong.”

“I-I’m okay,” you tried to lie, but the glassy look in your eyes was forming tears. Lip wobbling, “I’m not okay,” and that was when you felt yourself break down and seek out the comfort that only your imprint could give you. Throwing yourself into his hold, you gave up on trying to keep that barrier that you have created when it comes to physical contact with the wolf.

Jungkook had a million questions that he wanted to ask you, to find out who or what has hurt you. His wolf wanted to seek out the person who has hurt his mate, to kill or torture that person that dared to mess with his mate. Jungkook felt the primal need to do so, just to make you happy. But he wanted you to be okay first, to smile again, to be happy and yourself.

For the next hour, you relished in the comfort that only Jungkook could give you. With him holding you felt like a part of you felt better, but the knowledge that your mom is still gone and that she will not be back still haunts you. Jungkook could sense that, he could sense your distress and his wolf whimpered inside of him. Running his hands through your hair (something he has been wanting to do for three months now), he could tell that it is something that helps you calm down.

“My mother passed away two years ago today,” you began. Jungkook’s hold on you tightened, encouraging you to go on. “I should’ve taken her with me instead of leaving her there by myself. I should’ve dragged her with me instead of leaving her there at that stupid mall so she could get those dumb pair of shoes that she was waiting for. I tried to convince her to wait and get them later on, but she was adamant on getting them.” You gritted out, becoming angry at yourself. “And then there was a robbery during the sale, and she was…” and you clung onto him as if he was your lifeline, nose nuzzled into his neck, finding comfort in his natural, woodsy scent.

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. You did not know, it is not your fault that your mom died, and she knows that. Blaming yourself for something that was way out of control is going to continue to make you miserable and eventually will kill you.” Jungkook said after a while. “Please stop beating yourself up over this is leading you down that road.”

You did not say anything, but when you squeezed Jungkook tightly for a minute and then released, he knew that was you acknowledging what you said. For the rest of the day the two of you spent the day in your bed, holding onto one another, talking about anything and everything. Eventually the both of you fell asleep without noticing it. Waking up the next morning entangled with one another, it felt normal. It was as if this was normal.

You realized that Jungkook is permanent and that he is not leaving you, that he is not making this all for show. So, that is why you began to stop stressing and worrying. You allowed yourself to fall, and you fell.

Ever since that day, you and Jungkook became what you call closer. You began to become physically affectionate with him and accept his affectionate ways. Jungkook obviously did sit next to you, or at least be six feet away from you in the beginning because him and his wolf needed that sense of relaxation to know that you were nearby. Now, though, Jungkook and you are touching one another in some sort of way now, whether that be your arms touching, knees touching, or him standing very close to you. You did not mind this one bit, the feeling of his body warmth had you feeling safe.

In class, now, Jungkook sits beside you, kicking the class nerd, AJ, out of his spot. His actions resulted in the silent treatment from how rude he was to the scrawny kid. During class Jungkook would whine and basically paw at your arm, wanting you to forgive him. After class, he went up to AJ and apologized, well, tried too, which earned Jungkook a please smile from you.

The boy loves your praises and attention. But sometimes, he could not handle it when you and Lisa talk about guys right in front of him.

You were out with Lisa, Jungkook, and Jungkook’s pack, having dinner at the new restaurant in town. All of you were seated around the large, round table, you being sat in between Jungkook and Lisa. Jungkook had scooted his chair to where it made your chair and his almost like a two-seater, arm around your shoulder as he had you leaned into him. You, obviously, did not mind this, finding yourself relaxed into his body. The two of you were looking at the menu together, trying to figure out what you both would want.

“I think I’ll just stick with a salad as an appetizer and have chicken alfredo as my dinner,” you concluded, looking at Jungkook.

“That sounds good baby,” Jungkook agreed with what you wanted. “I’ll take Spicy Kimchi Stew,” Jungkook concluded after a few minutes later, finalizing what he wanted right before the waiter came to the table.

Lisa kicked your leg, catching your attention. Raising her eyebrows suggestively at you when you realized that she found the waiter cute. Giggling, you nodded in confirmation, not denying the waiter was cute. But they would never beat Jungkook in attractiveness in your opinion.

Not knowing that Jungkook watched the interaction between you and Lisa, a low predatory growl rumbled in Jungkook’s chest. Tightening his arms around you, he sat up straighter in his chair and glared daggers into the waiter, nerving the poor boy.

“Jungkook.” You scolded at his rudeness when he told the boy what you two would like.

Losing his composure, Jungkook frowned down at you, “What?” He asked, trying to play innocent.

“Don’t be rude,” you said, giving Jungkook a look.

Jungkook pouted, “I’m sorry,” he apologized, wanting to get back on your good side. He hates being scolded by you.

“It’s okay, Kookie. Just go easy on the poor lad, he did no harm.”

“But you thought he was cute,” Jungkook grumbled, taking a sip of his water, jealousy evident in his tone and body language.

Catching on to what he was saying, you giggled, finding his jealousy cute. Finding some confidence, “He has nothing on you.” A huge blush covered your face after you said that, “you have nothing to worry about.”

Jungkook was silent for a moment, body going stiff. You were nervous that you messed up, but those thoughts disappeared once you felt a pair of lips pressing to the side of your head and his arms pulling you closer (if possible) to his side, body trying to cover you with his. For the rest of the night, it felt as if you and Jungkook were on a new level. Jungkook was extra clingy and you were wanting Jungkook’s attention. You assume that your words had hit the both of you in a deeper meaning, a silent way of saying that you both belong to one another.

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amara-scott · 4 years

Text

Enjoy your dinner.

Movie: The Gentlemen Characters: Raymond Smith x Reader Categories: Teasing

you’re reading part one | part two

Takes place a few weeks before the movie timeline.

...

3rd Person P.O.V.:

Her father knew very well that she did not enjoy these kinds of events. Richlings bragging about their richness to other fat cats. Not to mention the young ones. The ones her age, who did not have to flip a coin to get any of the wealth their parents owned. Dirty or good money, does not matter. It is more dirty than anything else though. And she knew that also. Another reason for her to usually not stay longer than needed.

It has been a while since her father has last asked her to join him and her mother to a dinner party. It was way more just a synonym for let’s see who will embarrass themselves first by drinking too much of the way too expensive bottle of rum. Long translation - but a hundred percent correct.

And even though she loathed going, she always used the opportunity to make the largest impact possible without trying to say a word. She loved the longing stares and the surprised ones every time she did indeed attend alongside her parents. Today it was just her father though. Her mother was out in Paris, probably spending all the pocket money her loving husband gave her. At least their love for each other seemed honest.

(Y/N) P.O.V.:

When I walk down the stairs to stop in front of a mirror in my hallway, I hear another honk of the limousine waiting outside. I sigh, grabbing a light coat and throwing that over my arm, holding a small clutch in my hand. After locking the door behind me, I greet Mitch with a smile.

“ ’Ello Miss (Y/L/N), hope you are doing well today.” I hold back a roll of my eyes, long forgotten how many times I made him call me by my first name. If I had to guess, probably around 64 times. He doesn’t work for me, he works for my father and my father alone.

“Very well indeed, how about you, Mitch?” He smiles, about to answer, when a voice from inside the car calls out.

“-You can chat on the way there, we’re late as it is.” Now I do roll my eyes at my fathers words and send Mitch another small smile. He nods, closing the door when I’m in, going back to the drivers seat.

“Wow, darlin’, you look lovely tonight.” I greet him with a kiss to each cheek and buckle up.

“Thank you, is that a new suit? I’ve never seen you wear burgundy red.” He nods, smoothing out the fabric.

“It is, it is. You’re a smart one. I despised the colour but your mother thinks it looks expensive and high-class. And you know her- there’s no telling her no.” I chuckle along and we get a few small-talk questions out the way before we finally arrive at the mansion. Some old business partner of my father’s. I can’t keep names in mind so I usually go the shy and long time no see route. It usually works.

My father helps me step outside and Mitch rides off, picking us up later again. Before walking after my father I take a deep breath and exhale, placing a smile onto my face. Fake- but no one seemed to notice the last few times. So no worries there. Walking up the stairs, an arm wraps around mine and I glance up to my right, frowning at the sudden physical contact. James. Yes, the one person I loathed the least. Or you could say - who I actually liked a bit. I grin and bump my shoulder with his as he guides me up to the entrance.

“Hello there gorgeous lady, haven’t seen you around a lot lately.”

“Well, can you blame me? These types of gatherings do not amuse me much. They rather support my boredom and make me want to drown in expensive alcohol. I don’t want to turn into an alcoholic.” He smirks at my statement but shakes his head.

“You’re a special one, you know that?” I nod, sighing dramatically. I look up front, where my father is already involved with other suit-wearing snobs.

“I know- I am.” I try sounding posh, but fail miserably, making us both laugh. I still have my arm wrapped around his’ as we get offered a drink and then he is off. Talking business, making connections. A life I would not want to live. That is why James and me could never be more than friends. Even though he might wants change my mind on that one day - I would never accept his advances.

“Well, well, well. If it is not little Miss (Y/L/N) Junior. How are things going?” I turn, taking another sip of champagne as I recognise the slimy man in front of me. His eyes wandering up and down my presence.

“Oscar- what a nice surprise-” My fake smile widens and I let him kiss my knuckles briefly - even though some of the potatoes I had for lunch earlier wanted to revisit. He must be double my age - I never thought of that. 50 at least.

“Would not be that much of a surprise to you if you would join our parties more often.” So it is his housing we are inside of right now. Good to know...

“Oh, Oscar. You know I am a busy woman. Cannot have fun all the time.” My smile starts to hurt my cheeks but I keep it up. Having held it for longer. My record is 24 minutes and 37 seconds. Yes, I know. Very impressive.

“But you never fail to make a grand entrance, what a gown on you - just lovely. Perfectly fitting for you, an extraordinary woman.” His sickly, slimy words feel like nails scratching on a chalk board but I hold back a flinch, nodding once. Not quite sure how to reply. I glance down at my drink, assumingly and very unconsciously having drank it all.

“Oh, would you look at that- I think I need a refill, it was lovely chatting-” “-Let me get you a new one.”

“No need, Oscar. I will just go myself.”

“Oh please, I insist-”

“-Here, take mine. I don’t drink Champagne.” I turn to my right, looking at the source of the new voice. A man I have not seen before stands there - a neat three piece in dark blue, adoring his well shaped physique. His dirty blonde hair combed back to perfection. He rearranges his glasses with his free hand before it disappears in the pocket of his trousers. The other one still holding out the glass to me. I realise I held a breath and nod at him, this time smiling genuinely.

“Thank you-” I drift off, not taking my eyes off his. A little staring contest going on. I accept the drink and take a sip. Not having blinked once. Just like him.

“-Raymond. Raymond Smith.”

“Nice to meet you, Raymond Smith. I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“I know that.” I quirk an eyebrow at his answer, him staying silent though, a small smile grazing his lips.

“Well, why don’t I give you a little tour? We have a whole new balcony on the east wing-”

“-no, thank you Oscar. I just found a way more interesting activity.” I cut him off, not taking my eyes off of Raymond Smith. I see his lips twitch but he is holding back a smirk. Which makes my smile grow. I only hear a huff and grumbling.

I then break the eye contact, feeling rather lost now and walk past him, closely past him. My shoulder barely touching his jacket. I can feel his eyes on my back, making me sway my hips a tad more than usual. The things the right man can make you do.

I decide to sit down at an empty table and pick out some of the delicate canapés placed in the center. It looks like a mushroom tartlet and once inside my mouth I nod to myself. One thing that makes me come back to these parties is definitely the appetisers and the drinks. Lot’s of effort goes into them but no one seems to enjoy any. Either because they are busy laughing at jokes that are not funny or because they think others would judge them for eating. I learned to not care, ever, about what someone thought of me because I eat more than them. Their loss.

“Enjoying the food, I see.” I chew quickly and swallow thickly, holding a napkin to my lips as Raymond sits next to me at the round table, taking a tartlet himself. I hum.

“I do, cannot be mad about the food. I am a true gourmet, what can I say. But- you probably already knew that, did you not?” I grin at him, watching his chew and making eye contact with me once more. He chuckles, shaking his head.

“No, did not. I will note it down though.” His teasing tone sparks my interest and I wonder how far I could go. Or what he works as. Why I have never seen him before.

“Tell me, Raymond Smith, who are you?” I turn toward him, leaning my arm on the table and tilting my head slightly, full attention on him. He wipes his hands at a napkin, eyes cast down as he seems deep in thought. Choosing his words carefully. One of the only men here who do.

“I don’t really exist. I just - like a good dinner party every now and then.” I bite my lip at his cheeky reply, trying to hold back all the things running through my mind.

“Can I guess?” I lift my head and he nods, gesturing for me to go ahead. He leans back slightly, probably expecting the most cliché answers anyway. So I think again, observing his posture and the drifting of his eyes every now and then. Back over to the big table. A couple people sitting there. He must be here either with his wife or colleague. I shake my head at the wife, he wouldn’t be sitting here with me if he had one.

“Well, seeing as you’re not here by yourself, you must be the right hand to someone or - maybe you are the kid of a big fish.” He smirks, nodding. One must be correct. I go with my first instinct. “-a right hand man it is.” I look back over to where he seemed to focus earlier. I do know a few of them. One being a partner to my father’s business. Another one the son of said partner. And then - no way. Micheal Pearson himself. The Micheal Pearson. Sticky bush Pearson. But Raymond would not be involved-

“-I see you figured it out.” My eyes snap back to Raymond and I close my mouth, licking my dry lips in the process. I tense up, not knowing if running would be an appropriate reaction. But then again - I never cared about appropriate behaviour that much.

“And I also see you’re taken aback.” It sounded more like a question really. But I only nod, sending him a small smile.

“It is not every day that I cross paths with true gangsters.”

“I will take that as a compliment. And just for your information-” He leans in closer, elbows on his thighs. “-there are a few more gangsters here than you would like to care.”

I gulp at his intense eyes, he leans back up and stands to his feet, smoothing out his suit and buttoning his jacket.

“Well, if you would excuse me, my duties as a right hand man are needed. Have a good rest of your evening, Miss (Y/L/N). Enjoy your dinner.”

“You too, Mister Smith.” He nods, walking off. I look after him, Mister and Misses Pearson walking off with him and exiting the building. I let out a breath I was holding and sink back into the chair. Not without being haunted by those icy blue orbs.

...

_________________________________

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part two

#the gentlemen #Raymond smith x reader #Raymond smith #the gentlemen imagine #Raymond smith imagine #imagine

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dragonsareourfuture · 4 years

Text

Reunion — Parent!L/Parent!GN!Reader

We finally got some L into the mix! This is honestly less focused on you and L’s relationship and more so on the family dynamic between all the other characters and you guys, plus your daughter! Everything’s pretty chill, no mentions of the Kira case, no angst. Just...happy. (Also, just wanted to mention that there are some jabs at people who stream for a living in this but that’s just Roger being a dick your job is valid no matter what <3)

(DN) = Daughter’s Name :)

WHERE? WHERE IS MY NIECE?”

“Jesus, Misa! Be careful!”

As soon as these voices were heard, Roger was sure that all peace and quiet for the day would be cast out the window. Even so, he put on a cheerful smile and exited the kitchen to greet yours and L’s bittersweet friends who had just begun removing their shoes to place in the neat shoe rack in the foyer.

“Ah, Light Yagami and Misa Amane, glad you could make it,” Roger began.

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you. I apologize for the short notice, but L had mentioned that it was his daughter’s birthday and we just had to attend,” Light explained with a faux, closed-eyed grin as he lifted a bag decorated like a birthday present for further explanation.

Roger nodded curtly and took the present from Light, holding out a hand to direct the couple towards the kitchen where the festivities were to be held for that evening.

Misa perked up again when she laid eyes upon the infant being bounced on your knee, giggling absentmindedly.

“There she is!” The enthusiastic blond squealed, practically shoving her boyfriend of three years out of the way to kneel in front of the babbling child like she was a god.

You giggled at her antics and let her squish your baby’s cheeks between her fingers. “Hi, Misa. It’s been a while.”

“I know! It has, hasn’t it?” Misa cooed, words directed at you but using the high pitched voice one uses to speak to a child nonetheless.

Light ambled into the kitchen hesitantly, eyeing L, who was standing over you as you sat on a stool at the counter, his hand on your shoulder while the other one resided in his pocket. Light nodded politely, his features stiff and his shoulders tense as if waiting for L to provoke him at any second. L easily picked up on Light’s careful movements and squared his shoulders, correcting his posture a bit though his dull expression never changed. Luckily, the tension was snapped when the front door opened once again and two college-age kids stepped into the cool interior of the fairly large home.

L seemed to relax more now that more people he was comfortable with began filing into the space. The pair in question — a lazily dressed brunet adorned with a cigarette and orange-tinted goggles as well as a leather clad blond with scar tissue occupying the left side of his face and arm — came through the threshold and packed themselves into the already tight-fitting kitchen, bickering with each other all the while.

“Matt, just put it over there.”

“No, I wanna give it to her now!”

“Be patient, asshat!”

“Hey, no language like that in front of the baby!”

You snapped your fingers to get the boys’ attention and gestured for them to just hand you their present already. Matt happily stepped forward and handed you a crudely wrapped gift. Not to mention, they had used crumpled newspaper and a length of thread to tie the gift together. Matt shot you a sheepish smile and admitted, “We couldn’t afford wrapping paper...”

“Aw, guys, this is more than enough! Thank you.” You glanced down at your daughter and allowed her tiny yet strong fingers to curl around your own. “Can you say ‘thank you’, (DN)?”

The little girl bouncing on your knee gazed up, recited gibberish at the two boys and stuck out her slimy tongue, drool slipping from the corner of her mouth.

“You’re welcome, little one.” The brunet patted the girl’s head and (DN) grabbed at his wrist. He let her tug his hand down and stare at his fingers in awe, even if her hands were covered in baby saliva.

Mello let out a subtle chuckle and pulled out one of the stools lined up at the counter in order to sit next to you. He gestured to the elegantly wrapped present and smirked, “Matt picked it out.”

Matt was too busy to hear this admission as he was wiggling his fingers in front of (DN)’s face, causing uncontrollable giggles to burst from her toothless mouth.

You puzzled at the gift for a moment before consulting L, who merely shrugged. You figured he of all people would know what the pair was capable of considering he had lived with them for a good amount of time, but he came up empty. Before you got a chance to open the gift, however, Roger piped up with a question for Matt.

“So, Matt, how’s your job been?”

Matt paused and stared blankly at the man who used to house him, caught off guard by the question, opening and closing his mouth like a beached fish. “Uh...fine. It’s been—”

“He’s been doing great.” Mello chimed in, glaring daggers at the man.

“Oh, that’s good to hear. Tell me, what is it you do, again?” Roger continued. Mello shifted his glance to Matt, an expectant and impatient expression laced onto his narrow features as if they had rehearsed this very conversation back at their apartment and had to follow a script.

“I’m a gaming streamer.” Matt choked and Mello could barely help but throw his head into his hands. “It’s a real job.”

“Oh, I’m sure it is, son.” The older man seemed to find triumph in the outcome of this conversation and retreated to the living room before the victory was taken from him.

“Nice one, man.”

“I’m sorry, okay!?”

“Hey, Matt, there’s no shame in doing what you love.” You offered kindly.

“It would help if it payed the bills...” Mello mumbled, to which you sent a harsh kick to his shin.

The lot of you were unable to hear the door open and close thanks to Mello’s yelp of pain and Matt’s howls of laughter, and as quiet as Near was it wasn’t a surprise to have him suddenly appear out of nowhere.

“There you are, Near! How’ve you been?” You greeted cheerily, hoping to make up for the white haired boy’s lack of enthusiasm.

The pajama wearing boy merely hummed and crouched down in front of your child, being able to since Misa was long gone, huddling up next to Light and chatting animatedly with Gevanni, who had escorted Near to the party. The baby bopped Near’s fluffy head with the flat of her palm. He didn’t seem to mind, though.

As Roger carried in the cake it was difficult to refrain from laughing as L’s eyelids practically disappeared, leaving most of the whites of his eyes visible. The light from the birthday candles flickered in his irises. It appeared that he was in some sort of trance. When the cake was set down on the countertop you turned so that your daughter was facing the treat, placing a gentle yet firm hand on L’s shoulder as he twitched as if he would lunge for the cake.

“Should we start singing then-?”

“No!” Chirped your daughter as she slapped a hand down into the icing, leaving a tiny handprint that claimed her piece of the marble cake.

Laughter was heard around the room and Roger shrugged as he began cutting everyone pieces of cake.

Once everyone was finished and (DN) was sufficiently covered in crumbs and icing, you all shifted to the living room to start opening presents.

As your little girl pawed are the first gift, a collective gasp echoed through the room when the front door all but burst open. The metal knob most likely dented the wall as it slammed. Roger winced, nothing on his mind but the time he’d spend on repairs.

“I’M HERE!” Matsuda announced with a boisterous laugh, delighted to see that the party was still in full swing. However, his ear to ear grin didn’t last long as he noticed everyone’s surprised and confused faces staring back at him.

“Did you invite him?” L whispered in your direction.

“Um...no I don’t think so.” You replied, putting a smile on your face nonetheless. You stood, handing your daughter over to L as she waved the half opened gift in his face to which he smiled lightly. “Hey, Matsuda! You’re just in time for presents!” You hugged him tightly around his waist, attempting to make up for how terrible you felt for not inviting him yet also curious how he got here if neither you or L had mentioned the occasion to him.

“Oh, good! I was sure I missed everything! I felt terrible! Oh, here.” Matsuda passed you a colorful, neatly wrapped package adorned with a festive silver bow. Your stomach dropped even further with guilt as you realized how much time he put into the gift. “Light told me about (DN)’s second birthday and I couldn’t miss it!”

You couldn’t help your lips from stretching into a wide smile when you looked back up at the usually forgetful and clumsy man. “Come on, wouldn’t want you to miss out,” you said, taking him by the hand and leading him to sit with everyone else.

“Alright, now just open our present already!” Matt exclaimed, practically bouncing up and down on the couch cushion. You laughed, not remembering the last time you saw him this excited. You assisted your daughter in getting the rest of the “wrapping paper” off of the gift inside. It was a case, almost like a DVD case but smaller, and as you flipped it around you could read “Call of Duty” on the cover.

“Call of Duty!” Matt shouted, throwing his fists in the air.

“As I already told you, I did not pick that out,” Mello defended.

“But now me and (DN) can play it together! Right, (DN)?”

Your little girl clapped enthusiastically at Matt’s offer.

“Great. Thanks, Matt.” L took the game from the still cheering girl on your lap and put it to the side.

After the rest of the presents were opened and wrapping paper littered the floor, people began to say their goodbyes. All of Wammy’s boys opted to stay and help clean up, sharing a beer afterwards. Well, more like Mello and Matt shared a beer. L helped himself to the leftover cake that had been set aside to be packed up into Tupperware. Near sat on the floor next to the counter, playing with (daughters name) and unboxing all of the new toys she had received from earlier.

“Oh, shit. Matt, we should get going soon. It’s getting dark and I gotta be up by five.”

“Since when have you been so business oriented?” You questioned with a smirk, referring to Mello’s new job at the chocolate shop. It wasn’t much and he knew that, but it was pretty much the only thing he was qualified for after spending the entirety of his high school years in the mafia.

“Since I was almost fired the other day.”

At the mention of this unfortunate event, Matt had to stifle a laugh as he elaborated, “Turns out businesses don’t like it when you take most of the merchandise home with you.”

“I swear, Jeevas, get in the fucking car.”

“Language!” Matt reminded with a devilish smile.

You swore Matt could have dropped dead with the glare Mello was sending his way. The brunet relented and gave you a goodbye hug once you stood from your perch on the stool. He then bent down and swiped (DN) from the floor.

“Hey,” Near began to protest.

“Oh, shut it, you fucking sheep.”

Matt covered the little girl’s ears and looked at the blond like he should know better. Mello rolled his eyes as tiny hands batted at the feathers adorning the collar of his floor length coat. “Hello.” He said plainly.

“Aw, c’mon, Mello! Hold her!” Matt insisted, holding the child out to the reluctant blond.

“I don’t wanna get spit all over me, thanks.”

“Think fast!” Matt literally threw your child into Mello’s arms, leaving him no choice other than to catch her from mid air.

“Don’t do that!” You scolded, leaning against L (who had just arrived by your side) out of pure relief that Mello possessed decent reflexes. Crumbs fell into your hair from the corners of L’s mouth as he wiped them clean, appearing to not be phased by your child taking a little flight.

L then stepped forward when he noticed the blond struggling with how to hold the infant, thrown off by her ever-moving limbs and intense gaze. Your poor postured husband adjusted the girl in his younger counterpart’s grasp so that he balanced her on his hip, arm supporting her bottom. He looked more nervous rather than disgusted.

“There you go.” L lightly patted Mello’s back, as if silently telling him that he was doing well.

“Yeah...this is fine...”

Near stood from the floor and shifted his gaze over to you, eyes soft and pleading. “May I hold her?”

“Really? Off to steal my thunder, are you?”

“You looked uncomfortable.”

“I’m always uncomfortable. It’s part of being me!” Your baby was then shielded from Near by Mello’s protective, feathery shoulder which (DN) had begun to chew on.

“Mihael, why don’t you let Near have a turn?” The blond boy tensed at the sound of his real name but, once he seemed to remember it was only coming from you, he thrust (DN) into Near’s chest, waiting for him to wrap his arms securely around her.

Matt twirled the car keys around his index finger. “C’mon, like you said it’s getting dark.”

“Oh, yeah.” Mello gave you a quick one armed hug, doing the same for L and heading out the door without even acknowledging Roger who was clearing up the now empty cake tray. “See ya.”

Gevanni made you nearly jump out of your skin as he appeared out of thin air to consult Near, who still rocked the baby in his arms, on what time he should start up the limousine.

“Now that I think about it, we should let our friends rest. It was lovely to see you three.” The white haired boy politely parted ways with you, climbing into the limousine and waving through the tinted window. (DN) flopped her tiny hand around in an uncoordinated wave. It was barely noticeable, but Near allowed a smile to pull at the corners of his lips as Gevanni drove away and out of sight.

You sighed, curling your fingers around L’s hand. “That was fun, seeing all of them again.”

“Yes, it was. We should do that more often.”

“We should actually invite Matsuda next time instead of waiting for him to show up. I enjoy his company.”

“If you say so.”

You slapped L’s shoulder with the back of your hand.

“Meanie.”

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noyashighlight · 4 years

Text

The sky is the limit

Iwaizumi x reader

Summary: In which iwaizumi and Oikawa’s kid sister have a hate relationship because of an incident that happened when they were children. That grudge has been carried to highschool along with pent-up anger and lust. Will Hajime finally see Y/n as a woman or will she continue to be just his best friend's annoying little sister.

Chapter two: Spilled Milk

After school Y/n did something she had never done before she walked to practice with Kageyama instead of running to her older brother's classroom so they wouldn’t leave her. Little did she know even though the boys complained that she took so long they would never actually leave without her, so when she didn’t show after ten minutes it worried them. It freaked them out, even more, when she was already sat in the bleachers watching the rest of the team practice. When it was time to leave she quickly said her goodbyes to the black sheep of the team before heading off to join the two boys.

“ So that’s where you disappeared to at lunch? You’re so busy now that you can’t even come to pick up your brother from class.” Oikawa whined as they began their walk home, as always Iwaizumi was coming over. Tooru was upset seeing his sister was growing up right before his eyes. When did she start hanging out with boys, or even get friends? She felt bad knowing that her brother was upset but she couldn’t tell him that she had to be her own person so his best friend would stop seeing her as a child.

Y/n clung onto her brother's arm giving him a wide smile before laughing at how dramatic he was being. If he wasn’t pursuing volleyball she would have told him to join the acting club instead. “ Tooru you know you’ll always be my oni-chan and important in my life even if I have a boyfriend.” The last part was to tease him for calling her flat-chested earlier, she skipped ahead of the two boys letting them talk amongst themselves.

Iwaizumi flinched at the word boyfriend, he didn’t exactly know why maybe it was because he was so protective of her. “ I don’t want my sister with Tobio Chan! She’s too pretty for him, she’s an Oikawa after all.” Tooru dramatically put a hand on his head.

“ She is too pretty for him,” Iwa mumbled which caught his best friend's attention, which he was already regretting because he’d never be able to live down saying something as soft as that. “Then you date her instead so Tobio can’t have her hmph” he whispered as he pouted thinking that would be a solution to his problems.

This was the first time it came across Iwaizumi’s mind about dating y/n probably ever, he never looked at her in a way where it was romantic. That would be weird, wouldn’t it? “ Dude, do you hear yourself? I’m never going to date Y/n that’s gross!” He had forgotten that they were whispering, it’s just the question caught him so off guard that he said it loudly. Oikawa and he looked at each other ready to conceal the girl walking in front of thinking she’d turn around with an offended or hurt the face. Y/n kept walking straight forward si they assumed she didn’t hear and was stuck in her own world. Unfortunately for them, she had heard, he was starting to confuse her was she pretty or ew. Could he not admit that around her brother or something? She thought how he probably didn’t think Mina was too gross to date

“ You're here again.” She was snapped out of her thoughts by Kageyama shutting the roof door behind him as he took a seat against the wall next to her. After yesterday’s words, she was avoiding Iwaizumi all together that meant her brother too when they were at school since those two stuck together like glue for the most part. She had thought about going to sit at the table pretending like everything was alright but those girls were sat there applying their make-up. There was no room for her, there probably never was. Lately, she had been thinking about how she felt like a nuisance that lived in her brother's shadow.

“ Am I not allowed to? If you want me to leave I can.” Just because she was miserable and desperate doesn’t mean she was going to annoy him too with her unneeded presence. He quickly shook his head no before gathering his words, “ No you can stay, I just thought you wouldn’t talk to me anymore.” The young male looked pitiful at the moment, it reminded her of herself.

“ Of course I would! We’re friends now after all.” She beamed as she grabbed his hand in happiness, she finally had a friend of her own. Someone she didn’t have to share, someone who didn’t know her as Oikawa’s little sister. From that day on the girl began to spend her lunch with Kageyama as if it was a ritual. Two people that didn’t belong anywhere but with each other, what more could a lonely person ask for.

“ She’s not here again.” Iwaizumi tapped his fingers against the lunch table as he stared at the cafeteria doors waiting for them to bust open. Luna the girl that clung to Oikawa the most was the first to perk up, loving anything that had to do with drama perked up hearing the male sound worried. She wasn’t a bad person per se but if you got in her way she could be crueler than hellfire. “ Aww, are you worried about y/n Chan not coming to sit with you anymore?” She knew who the younger girl was because her brother had mentioned her a couple of times. She also knew of the little crush she had because Oikawa talked too much when you put a pretty girl in front of him.

As if the heavens above heard the prayers Y/n enter the cafeteria, not heading to the table but to the vending machine. She had lost the game of rock, paper, scissors and now was forced to go retrieve some milk for Kageyama. “ Look she came, oh Y/n could you come here Iwa misses you.” Life had become boring so the older girl needed a breath of fresh air. Mina her best friend wanted to speak up thinking this wasn’t a good idea.

How could she ignore that loud girl calling her name in a sing-song voice especially when half of the cafeteria had turned to look in her direction? Y/n clutched the milk in her hand as she walked over to the table. This older girl was definitely trying to target her to make life harder. She glanced over at her brother who shrugged his shoulders not really understanding what was happening while Iwaizumi blushed slightly not being able to lock eyes. “ It’s so good to finally meet you, the boys talk a lot about you. You’re so pretty, you think she’s pretty right Iwaizumi? Such a pretty color of hair.” Luna reached up and twirled her finger around a piece of hair. For anyone who didn’t know the language of a mean girl who used compliments to embarrass said victim.

Y/n smacked away the girls had with a glare causing Luna to pout as she held her hand. It was almost for a second she wore a smirk. “ Ouch....such a mean girl, I now understand why you like Iwaizumi so much since he too is a brute-“ the older girl was cut off as milk splashed on her hair falling down her artificial golden locks. The girl she had just been passive-aggressively bullying had poured a carton of milk on her head. “ You talk too much,” Y/n said dropping the empty carton in front of her.

“ You little bitch!” Luna screeched as she stood up raising her hand to smack her assailant. She was stopped by two hands belonging to two entirely different people. The one that held her wrist was Iwaizumi and the hand below belongs to Kageyama. It was intense as they stared at each other, both of them wanting to be the hero. In this situation do you get off of the path you’ve been trailing for forever to go on a new more promising way or stay on the one that keeps bringing you in circles.

At this moment y/n had chosen to take the path of unknowing, “ Come on Kags.” She muttered under her breath lightly pulling him away from the scene of Luna thrashing around while iwaizumi and Oikawa tried to calm her down. This world was one that she didn’t belong in.

A/n: sorry for the long wait for such a short chapter! Next chapter will be more fast paced but still explain everyone complexed relationships. My inbox is open if you guys wanna talk or submit. I’m really interested in doing headcannons. ( I will do any haikyuu characters so don’t hesitate.)

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi fanfic #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi headcanons #iwaizumi x reader #aoba josai x reader #kegayama x reader #kegayama tobio #oikawa torū #oikawa tooru #angst #theskyisthelimit

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itsamejin · 4 years

Text

this love || yoongi angst

Summary: A story through the years detailing your relationship with Yoongi and all the ups and downs that came with dating an idol.

Warning: cursing, sexually suggestive content

Genre: angst, fluff, idol!yoongi, artist!yn

Pairing: Yoongi x female!reader

Premise: Based on the song ‘This Love’ by Taylor Swift. Reader is an artist.

Commission Request: @minyoongail

Word Count: 7,681 words

—

You met Yoongi when he was just a trainee, ready to take on the world and bursting with energy to get on stage. He had visions of grandeur- him living in a beautiful mansion, wearing name-brand jewelry, cruising in rare sports vehicles. When times were simpler, he’d promise that you’d be there with him, indulging in the glitz and glamour that came with his fame. He’d be an idol and you’d be his muse. Yet under all those pretenses, under all those empty promises, he was just Yoongi.

He was a guy who walked in and out of your life as easily as ocean tides come and go on the shore. He taught you how to fall in love, fall out of it, and rekindle it all the same. It was a sort of beautiful asphyxiation, being wrapped up in his lifestyle and learning to accept the consequences that came with dating a celebrity.

You wonder even now as you search his name on the internet, if you had any regrets. After all, you lost too much to be with him.

—

April 2013

A first meeting meant everything to you, especially when it came to your clients. You didn’t accept jobs from weirdos who didn’t respect your craft and you definitely hated impatient ones who badgered you to finish your pieces as quick as possible.

Big Hit was a happy medium and had hired you as a contract employee after reviewing your portfolio. Although the style of work they wanted from you was not at all what you specialized in, you were happy that they treated you like an actual employee and not some sort of machine. Plus, the pay was good.

You were asked to work on some cute animal characters for an upcoming boy group that you weren’t terribly familiar with, maybe stumbled on a vlog of theirs that you forgot about. You were intrigued by the slew of trainees that sat in front of you, their palms clenched out of anxiousness.

“I’m [Y/N], one of the digital artists that will be working with you guys from now on,” you introduce yourself politely to the seven bright-eyed boys in front of you.

You were in a room with other staff members, discussing the concept of the “Hip Hop Monsters” your graphics team was working on. This was a planned project lasting over a span of years and would eventually result in collectors edition items. It made you giddy just thinking of the royalties you’d earn from it all.

“I’d like it if the animals took after us,” one of the boys suggested shyly, slightly intimidated by the large number of corporate employees there were in the room for something that seemed so trivial. “I think our fans would like the characters more if they kind of resembled our personalities and stuff...”

You nod along to his suggestions, staring at his jersey to notice that the member who spoke up was Rap Monster. It was cute how they all wore clothes with their names on them. That’s one way to attract attention, you suppose.

“Any other suggestions you guys have for us?” you ask, jotting down notes and making rough sketches as they talk amongst themselves.

“I’d like it if,” a somewhat husky voice starts and you can’t help but stare into the guy’s eyes as he speaks, “my character was a turtle.”

You burst out into a fit of laughter along with the other staff members. He had said it with such a straight face and with so little enthusiasm, yet you could tell from his slight blush that he was serious. He was cute in the way that he wasn’t trying to be.

“You resemble one,” you grin at him, drawing out a small turtle with a cute beanie on your iPad, like the one he wore in front of you. You show it to him. “Something like this?”

“Exactly that!”

He breaks out into a gummy smile, one so bright that it hurt your heart to stare at him for too long. Now you were the one left flustered. He realizes how enthusiastic he was and got embarrassed once again, scratching the back of his head to avoid eye-contact.

“S-sorry, for shouting. It looks good.”

You bite your lip from forming too big of a grin. You still had to remain professional after all.

“You’re welcome,” you smirk slightly as he goes back to trying to look cool. You can’t help but doodle his name on your iPad even as the other members shared ideas for their own animals.

Suga, Suga, Suga.

You smile to yourself. It does have a ring to it.

—

June 2013

Yoongi sees you in the hallways sometimes and wants to say hi, but he can’t because other people are watching. Though, that isn’t the only reason.

He tells himself every day that he’ll muster up the courage to go talk to you, but every time he sees your face his legs turn to jelly. Yoongi was busy with debut stages recently, but he found some free time in his schedule to approach you.

Yoongi was never the shy type, more reserved if anything else, but you had something that enamored him- intrigued him. He wanted to know who you were other than the cute girl he was stuck in meetings with from time to time.

As you sat there on your desk, Yoongi lingered in an area nearby. He would give you his number today and if things didn’t work out then that would be that. There was no need to be all shy about this; it’s not like this is his first time asking someone out.

He strides over to you with feigned confidence and you look up after a minute, not noticing how his shadow loomed over you. He sees that you’re working on realistic portraits of the members and not the cutesy characters he usually sees you drawing.

“Hi,” he says curtly, trying to seem disinterested though he was the one that approached you first.

“Hello,” you smile up at him.

Suga.

“You draw really cool stuff,” he says to break the awkward tension. “You should show it to the CEO. I’m sure we’d have cooler concepts for our albums with your work.”

You look up at him, a happy glint in your eyes. He was complimenting you, although avoiding eye contact to seem a little less nervous than he really was.

“Well, I’m just a contract worker so I don’t think I really have the authority to start up new projects out of nowhere,” you say with a smile on your face at how flustered he looks. “I feel like you’re here to ask me for something. Am I right?”

He looks away for a split second, coughing to alleviate his nerves. He was a grown man for fuck’s sake, why was this so difficult?

“I was actually wondering if you could come give me some opinions about some art that I drew,” he lies through his teeth, just trying to find a way to get you in a more private area than the corporate floor teaming with watchful gazes. “I’ve been trying to start a new hobby.”

You chuckle slightly, seeing right through his words. You stand up to amuse him.

“I’d be happy to.”

He leads you to a studio filled with whacky knick-knacks and dim lighting, not necessarily the best place to draw. You know by now that he just said those things as an excuse to be alone with you.

“So where’s this masterpiece?” you tease slightly at his nervous expression. How did a guy who looked so deadpan have such a giddy personality?

“Well actually,” he starts off, palms already sweaty. “I-It’s not here right now, but I think I left it at the dorms. Maybe if we exchange phone numbers I can text it to you.”

He tried to appear nonchalant, but his hands moved as if he was doing a public speaking presentation. Yoongi thought he was doing great, though growing a little more nervous at how you were giggling.

“You know, Suga,” you start teasingly, “My number is in the company directory. Feel free to text me anytime.”

Yoongi slightly cringes hearing his stage name. He loves it, don’t get him wrong, but he didn't like hearing it come from you. He didn’t like the unfamiliar aspect that came with using his stage name- like you two only went by professional terms.

“Call me Yoongi,” he says with genuine confidence this time. “I like it better when my friends call me Yoongi.”

You nod, relieved that you could finally know this cute guy’s name. Truth be told, you were snooping around his conversations with other people to figure it out.

“So we’re friends?”

Yoongi nods, sitting down in his rolling chair.

“I’d like to be,” he grins, patting the sofa, hoping you’d take a seat with him.

And you do.

—

Present

It’s hard to work efficiently when you’re no longer in a corporate space. There’s no boss to check up on your progress nor is there a nosy coworker trying to see what you’re doing from the corner of their eye. You missed the hustle and bustle of an office floor, but it was nice exploring your creativity through freelance work.

You tap your digital pen onto the table repeatedly, looking at the reference image over and over again. It was a sick joke played by the universe to have been commissioned to draw your ex-boyfriend’s idol group, but you couldn’t refuse the hundreds of dollars the ecstatic fangirl was willing to give you. Truth be told, she might have offered too much pay, but you took up her offer anyway. Money is money.

Yet a face you’ve touched so often, a person you’d been with for years felt so unfamiliar to you. It wasn’t like you were drawing him realistically either. The client wanted anime-style figures that resembled them, looked enough like the boys to display it as her Twitter header. In the end, it’s still too difficult to draw. The rest of the members were lined up and sketched perfectly, but there was a blank area where Yoongi’s face should’ve been.

Your wrists hurt from the constant drawing and erasing so you set it down to massage your hand from cramping. In moments like these, you hated your job.

Ting.

A message notification popped up on your phone that laid beside your iPad. You usually left it silent when you were working, but you opened yourself up to distractions when drawing this particular piece. Whoever thought it was a good idea to specialize in celebrity artwork? You pick up your phone and smiled softly at the text.

hey, can I come over?

—

March 2014

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Yoongi, happy birthday to you~~”

You cheer on with the rest of the boys in their cramped dorm. Somehow you had gotten close enough with them to be at this level of comfort, sitting crisscrossed and shoulders touching with Jungkook and Seokjin. Yoongi blows out the candles and claps his hands, a little sad that another year passed by so quickly. He kept glancing at you who was focused on cutting the cake like the perfectionist you were.

He couldn’t help but feel like time was running out, like if he didn’t confess to you now then it would never happen. Yoongi took off the beanie he wore and ruffled his hair. He was feeling anxious all of a sudden.

“Dude don’t do that your dandruff is gonna get everywhere,” Hoseok whines. “The cake is gonna be decorated with your dead skin cells.”

“Go wash your hands,” Jin commands and Yoongi could only roll his eyes.

“Relax, I don’t even think we’re gonna have cake anytime soon when this slow-poke is taking forever to cut.”

He flicks your forehead as you glare up at him.

“I could so easily throw this in your face, but I choose not to,” you stick your tongue out at him and he scoffs.

“I’d like to see you try.”

All the members groan out of annoyance.

“Oh my god they’re having a lovers quarrel again,” Jimin yawned. “Aren’t you guys sick of arguing?”

Yoongi freezes at his words. Lover’s quarrel. That was a nice way to put it.

“They’ll stop arguing when Yoongi finally-”

Taehyung was cut off as Yoongi swipes three fingers worth of frosting from the cake and lathers it all over Taehyung’s face.

“You talk too much,” Yoongi shakes his head and soon chaos descended. Cake flew in places it shouldn’t have and ended when Namjoon knocked over a glass of water, managing to break it on the floor tiles. In the end, no one got cake.

Yoongi and you were laughing amongst yourselves at the kitchen sink, washing off some of the bits that got onto your shirts.

“I’m so sorry about your cake,” you say through your chuckles. “I’ll make it up to you some time.”

Yoongi only smiles.

“Yeah, you can treat me on a date,” he replies a little too boldly. You look at him in shock, not quite processing his words.

“A date?”

He nods.

“We should go out sometime.”

You purse your lips to prevent the huge grin about to be displayed on your face.

“We should.”

—

Present

It was subtle, the way it all started. You trace over the features you drew so far, only getting to his eyes. Yoongi and you were innocent lovers for a while, keeping your trysts a secret from everyone in the company except his managers and the members. A few of your friends knew, but none of them knew BTS well enough to be all that surprised. It wasn’t all that rare to go out with a celebrity in your line of work.

You almost miss those days when he was unrecognizable. After your friends realized who he was after he hit it big globally, you felt like a secret of yours was displayed to them. Your love was supposed to be private, but his fame left very little room for privacy. You missed when you were the only one that knew of him and maybe it’s selfish to think that way, but you were past the point of being selfish.

You text back.

yeah, can't wait to see you

—

Jan. 2015

Yoongi lays you down on the couch gently. His hands caressing your sides underneath the thin material of your shirt as he pulls you in closer to his kisses. This felt different from other nights, different in that there was nothing around to stop what would come next.

He pulls away from you slightly, panting from the lack of oxygen.

“Are you sure?” he asks, drawing circles on your hip with his thumb. He was only supposed to come over to help you unpack some stuff for your new apartment and here you were, pinned on the couch and sweating from the close contact.

You nod back in response, not finding the right words to get him to continue. He pulls your shirt over your head, peppering kisses on your neck and atop your breasts. He fixates on your neck languidly, biting as he sees fits.

There was a pause as you felt him press up against you and you knew then that there was no making it to the bed. You would have your first time with him on this newly moved-in couch.

The clothes dropped to the ground as his touches get more impatient, more desperate. It all passes by like a blur and you could only remember the pleasure that came with his long fingers, the satisfaction you felt when he was inside you. The climax of it all made you realize that you loved him, truly and without regret. He holds you in his arms when you come undone, flashing a satiated smile as you look up at him. It’s like the stars were in his eyes.

“How do you feel?” you ask him, worried he was already drowsy. You didn’t want to have to sleep on the couch naked.

“Satisfied,” he says with a smile on his face.

You can’t help but swoon, his eyes fixated on you. At least for now, he was yours He wasn’t Suga, a rapper. He was Yoongi, your boyfriend.

It didn't matter to you that he was struggling to make a name for himself in this cut-throat idol industry or that he would spend countless nights cursing as one of his numerous tracks get rejected. None of that was in your mind. Only he swam through your thoughts. Only him.

“I love you,” he sighs out. He was the first to say it.

“I love you too,” you reply back and he holds you tight against him.

He’s nuzzling himself in your hair, his chest pressed up against you so his heartbeat can synch with yours. He loves this, can’t get enough of it. He catches your lips and once again you are whisked in the pleasure of it all. This is it. This is what love is.

—

Present

The piece is finally finished and you send it off to your client, hoping she doesn’t ask for revisions because you can’t handle another second of drawing his stupid face. His soft skin, his tiny moles, his gummy smile...

It's not like you hate him. It’s just... a certain contempt lingers after a breakup from a long-term relationship. It’s the type of resentment that can’t really be explained. You don’t want to see him, but you catch yourself watching his videos on Youtube. You don’t want to think about him, but you hope he thinks about you. You don’t see yourself ever getting back together with him, but you don’t have his phone number blocked.

It’s a sort of paradox you catch yourself in and you wonder if you could ever get out of it. Will Yoongi ever escape your mind?

can't wait to see u too babe

—

Aug. 2016

Yoongi hugs you from behind, his face scrunched at the nape of your neck where several marks were made from last night’s events. Your eyes stayed focus on the TV in front of you, still impressed by your own ability to afford one in your bedroom at your salary.

“BTS' SUGA drops new music video for his song and mixtape Agust D...”

The news anchor drones on and you could barely hear her through the sounds of Yoongi’s soft snores. His hold on you grew tighter as he hears his stage name from an unfamiliar voice and it makes you giggle slightly at how different the edgy music video being displayed was from the same person wrapping you in his arms so tightly.

“Babe, wake up. I have work to do,” you whisper into his hair and he only shakes his head back in response.

“No,” he mutters, pulling you into him closer. You roll your eyes, managing to pry off one of his hands as you sit up on the bed.

“Don’t you have studio stuff to do today?” you ask him, searching for a shirt to wear.

He shakes his head as his eyes start to flutter open. You both reeked of alcohol since you opened a bottle of wine last night to celebrate the release of his first solo work. He was proud of it and you were proud of him.

“Can you turn that off, I’m getting a migraine,” he whines, covering his head with a pillow. You opted to wear Yoongi’s shirt instead of your own since you couldn’t be bothered to walk to the other side of the bed to find it. You smiled at his laying figure, cooped in a fetal-like position. He was still naked, but you were with him long enough to no longer be phased by that sort of thing.

“From one bottle of wine?” you tease slightly. “I think you’re losing your touch, Agust D.”

You chuckle as he throws the pillow on top of his head towards you.

“Don’t call me that,” he pouts, “It feels like you’re making fun of me.”

You stand up from where you were, stretching out your back as you make your way to the door.

“That’s because I am,” you smirk, “You know you’re saved on my phone as Sugar?”

He gives you a glare.

“It’s Suga,” he says, attempting to add some intimidation to his voice. It doesn’t work because all you do is stick your tongue out at him.

“Whatever sugar.”

He chuckles lightly and watches the silhouette of your figure exit his view. Yoongi can’t help but mindlessly follow after you.

As you exit towards the kitchen, you can’t help but hear the television from the bedroom.

“Suga has recently been caught up in a dating scandal with Suran, the solo artist, who sang with him in a song...”

Your head snaps up from those words, your skin crawling with goosebumps. You make it into the kitchen but with a heavy heart and no appetite.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, passing by you to pour himself some water.

“Nothing,” you say, though you sounded bitter. He caught on quite quickly. You were jealous again.

Yoongi heaves out a deep sigh and sets the glass of water down. He comes over to your angry figure and gives you a soft hug, laying his head on top of yours as if to comfort you. You try to pull away but he keeps you close.

“I’ll tell them to drop the rumors, okay?,” he says, genuinely enough to make you believe him. “I don’t want us to fight so early in the morning.”

“You promise?”

He pulls away.

“I promise,” he says, brushing a hair away from your face. “Let’s not think about those rumors right now. You and me both know they’re not true.”

You were never one to forget so easily.

—

It was around 2016 when you had stopped working at Big Hit. They halted the Hip Hop Monster brand and your contract was expiring with them anyway. You went from living a kush office life to struggling freelance worker in a matter of a second. It also meant that Yoongi and you would be spending less time together. His busy schedules couldn’t permit him to stay with you longer than a few hours and his presence slowly started to disappear from his side of the bed.

It was like a sinking ship, what you had with him. The pain starts off slow, unnoticeable. You’ll still laugh and keep up appearances as time passes, but you could tell there was an ominous atmosphere that wasn’t initially there in the relationship. Your screams start to grow silent as more problems start to stack on top of each other. It’s then when you hit the iceberg. It’s then when it all starts to fall apart.

He was still good for you, you convinced yourself, even as the currents swept you out under your feet.

—

Dec. 2016

“What the fuck do you mean you’re not coming?” you yell through your phone. You were sitting on the floor of your living room, holiday decorations strewn around the apartment. He promised he’d come spend a day off of his winter promotions to be with you.

“You know how hectic the end of the year gets with promotions,” he says in quiet hushes. “I can’t do anything about it. This is my job.”

You suck in your cheeks to prevent yourself from yelling. From the sound of it, he was in public.

“Yoongi, I called out of talking to a really high-paying client,” you say through gritted teeth. “And I still came home. Why am I the only one making sacrifices?”

He sighed at the other end. He didn’t have the patience to deal with you today.

“Look, can you stop being so fucking needy. I don’t need this right now.”

He couldn’t tell from the phone call, but your heart broke at the word. Needy. He thought that you were needy.

“I’m already stressed out as it is,” he continues through the phone. “I don’t need you up my ass all the time.”

“I’m not gonna wait for you,” you reply, tears threatening to spill over. “I’m going to sleep and you’re gonna get rid of all the shit you have in my apartment. I’m sick of you, Yoongi.”

He scoffs.

“I’m sick of you too.”

Yoongi hangs up, about ready to hit the wall when Jimin comes to calm him down. Small things that were never meant to be taken seriously built up until it was ready to crash down.

When Yoongi comes at night to visit you, he sees that you’re asleep on the couch. He sits next to you, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry baby,” he whispers quietly. “I’ll do better.”

You nuzzled closer to him, comforted by words you forget the next day. Even when you woke up with a bad neck and Yoongi snoring onto your skin, you couldn’t find a way to stay mad at him. You knew, deep down, that some way or the other you’re gonna find yourself arguing about the same thing next week.

—

Present

Junghoon comes to pick you up. Junghoon, your boyfriend.

He’s a little uptight and too stern for his own good, but has a good heart and a knack of giving great gifts. You met him from working in the same industry, a 3D graphics designer for several video game companies. He was a new addition to your life, your relationship only about three months old.

You were warming up to him slowly, thankful for finally having a consistent presence in your life. He always made time for you, never used work as an excuse, and didn’t act cold just for the sake of acting cold. Junghoon was sweet in the way that Yoongi used to be when he wasn’t such a massive celebrity.

It was a relief to have someone like Junghoon in your life that didn’t walk in and out of your door without much of a thought to even say goodbye. Your life with him has been a tad bit dull, but you don’t mind all that much. Junghoon’s made you feel secure in ways that Yoongi couldn’t.

—

May 2017

“Your boyfriend is winning a whole ass award across the world and you’re having ramen with me?” Chaerin sighs. It’s typical for a best friend to judge the actions of the other.

“Yeah and?” you reply snarkily, swirling your chopstick around to find the perfect clump of noodles. “I’m not the top social artist according to Billboard, what’s it have to do with me?”

She rolls her eyes at you.

“I don’t know, you could at least watch him win the award?” she suggests. “The live stream is literally happening right now. Your boyfriend is making history and you don’t even care!”

You look at the clock on the restaurant wall. It was nearing 2 o’clock and your client meeting would be starting soon. You were in high demand as a graphic artist recently and as far as you were concerned, that was the only thing on your mind at the moment. You stare back into your bowl, suddenly losing your appetite.

“The apartment is lonely without him,” you admit sadly.

He bought one for himself and had you move in. ‘It’s easier to not get noticed by the tabloids,’ he convinced you. The modern sleekness of his penthouse was a nice change to your lifestyle, but you missed the comfiness of your small studio apartment. It was often too cold when he wasn’t around.

“You could watch it with me?” Chaerin suggested. “Yoongi’s probably so sad that his own girlfriend doesn’t even want to watch him win such a major award.”

You bite down on your chopstick harshly.

“Well he didn't even want me to come with him so I don’t wanna hear anymore about him from you.”

Chaerin squinted her eyes in your direction.

“Well I mean I get where he’s coming from. He’s still an idol, [Y/N],” she scolds. “It would be a massive risk to take you with him.”

You shook your head disapprovingly, pushing the bowl away from you.

“I’m not an idiot, Chae. It’s not like I was asking to be on the red carpet with him, I just wanted to be there waiting in the hotel room after the show. Two nights ago he suddenly backs out and says I shouldn’t come.”

Chaerin’s jaw dropped out of shock. That wasn’t what she was expecting at all.

“Did he say why?”

You stare down at your nails, your heart growing heavy as a long pause of silence takes place. It would be better to be honest, right? You shouldn’t have to pretend like everything’s okay when it clearly isn’t.

“He said he wants space,” you say, careful not to get choked up. “So I’m giving it to him.”

You clutch your thigh instinctively, remembering how Yoongi had brought that up with you just nights before. You two weren’t happy and that he needed to figure himself out before the relationship gets any worse. It’s just a break or whatever bullshit he spouted.

She scoffs.

“What is wrong with you two?” she asks, genuinely concerned. “You are not the type of person to take a break in a relationship.”

You stare bitterly into the reflection of your soup.

“I just don’t think I’ve been happy for a while,” you reply, taking a sip of your water that was left untouched for a better half of the night. “I don’t think he is either.”

—

Sept. 2017

The break lasted for months and you wondered if it was really even a break at all. It felt more like a break up if you were honest. He’d text once in a while and video call you when he was free but other than that it felt like he became a stranger, just another celebrity billboard you walked past on your way to a client’s workplace.

You’d draw sketches of him countlessly, in fear you’d forget how his face looked in real life and not through a low-quality screen. You etched every baby hair, every small blemish he’d hide with makeup. It was your method of not forgetting who the real Yoongi was because honestly, you didn’t know anymore. You didn’t know him.

Trrrringggg.

The sound of your doorbell could be heard all throughout your apartment. You stood up from where you sat on the bed, leaving the sketchbook of his face on the comforter. You weren’t expecting any visitors, but surely enough, Yoongi stood in front of you with a lopsided grin on his face.

“Hey.”

You let him in, not uttering a single word. He looks different now. His hair was black, thank god, but his face was a little softer than you were used to. You remember him being so paranoid about turning bald just a few years ago and here he was, no bald spots to be found. He looked healthy.

“It’s been a while,” you respond, hugging your arms close to your chest, uncomfortable that he was in your presence. It was his apartment technically, but you lived in it more than he did. He opted to stay in the dorm ever since he issued that idiotic break.

“I miss you,” he says in a lowly voice and you almost believe him. Almost.

You scoff.

“It seems like you’ve been having fun without me though,” you say through gritted teeth. “I thought you still wanted space?”

He shakes his head and brings his hand to touch your arm.

“No,” he swallows his saliva. “I miss you.”

You could feel his sincerity, but you can’t help but not trust him. He’s been viciously cold to you, but you find yourself pulling him closer anyway.

“Don’t ever do that again,” you threaten. “It’ll really be over then, Yoongi.”

He sighs into your hair. He loves you. He does. But he doesn’t know why it’s so hard to express it.

“I promise [Y/N]. I won’t leave.”

—

Aug. 2018

He buys you flowers, your favorite kind. It’s a small gesture, but it has you jumping into his arms all the same. It shows that he still cares somewhat. It’s been a while since he’s last shown it.

He holds you closely, appreciating the softness of your body and how you curl perfectly into him.

“I want to stay like this,” you say mindlessly, just relishing in his presence.

You’re not mad at him today and he’s not frustrated with you. It’s a high point in your relationship.

“Me too.”

His words are simple but it warms your heart nonetheless. Yoongi looks at you with twinkling eyes and for a moment you think that this could last forever and that it will last forever. You kiss him slowly and he reciprocates.

It reminds you of your first time, slow and careful- like you were the last person he’d ever want to hurt.

His love, although painful at times, was good to you when you needed it to be.

—

July 2019

Yoongi’s gone again. He’s on tour, as usual, and not giving you any updates. You were getting sick of it. The constant waiting, the constant insecurities that ate you up inside. You weren’t built to endure this kind of torture.

Suga. Suga. Suga.

It rolls off the tongue but it feels disgusting coming out of your mouth. His stage name, a persona. He starts to resemble that name more and more as the days go by. You hear it so much now that it no longer registers as an actual word.

You call him.

He doesn’t pick up.

Again.

No answer.

You’re about ready to throw the phone at the wall until a soft ring was heard from the small device. You take the call immediately, smiling as if you passed the hardest difficulty of a video game. The grin would soon be wiped away, though.

“Why’d you call?” he grumbles from the other line, loud music blasting in the background.

“Why weren’t you picking up?” You sound bitter. You don’t care.

“I’m out right now,” he says, exasperation laced in his voice. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

Clearly, he just wasn’t in the mood to talk to you. Yoongi was at a party or a club or wherever he could possibly be in the streets of Shizuoka at 10 p.m.

You just wanted to chat, check on him as a good girlfriend would. He’s been complaining that you haven’t been in a while. You thought this was what he wanted- for you to care.

“I just wanted to see if you were doing okay,” you sigh. “How’d the concert go?”

“Good,” he says, clearly distracted. “Some of us snuck out of the hotel rooms to let loose for a bit.”

You nod as if he could see you.

“So you’re partying?”

You could hear him laugh at the other end, but it wasn’t from your comment. Someone else was making him laugh. Someone with a light and dainty voice, whiny as she got closer to Yoongi.

“Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” he says, clearly distracted. “Listen I’ll call you back, okay?”

You feel a lump stuck in your throat. There are no words left to say. The foreign girl on the other end giggled harder at whatever Yoongi was saying and it felt like you were invading their privacy- as if she was his girlfriend and you were nothing. You hung up, your mouth feeling dry as the tears poured down.

You see a text from Yoongi just a few seconds into your wallowing. You sniffle as you read it.

don’t misunderstand. nothing’s happening rn i'm just having a bit of fun.

This time you really threw your phone at the wall.

You go to your iPad that’s sitting untouched on your desk. You open your drawing app and just let the anger in the stylus take you from there. You draw a rough sketch of a couple on the edge of a beachside cliff. The woman seems to be falling into the water as if she was pushed. The guy’s hand reaches out to her, but you can’t really tell if he was trying to grab her or if he was the one that let her go in the first place.

As the tears spilled onto the cool surface of the iPad, you sob harder. Nothing could be fixed and everything still felt broken. It was meaningless, sleeping in his bed and wearing his clothes when he was all the way in Japan snuggling up to girls that were probably much prettier and much more willing to understand his lifestyle.

You look around the penthouse he had bought for the two of you, beautiful wide panel windows and modern furniture. It mostly looks empty, everything nice and tidy as if no one lived here. It had such a stark contrast to that of his old life when he shared rooms with other members and had no place to really put his keyboard except the studio. You smiled at the memory of you all hovering around the small coffee table in the cramped living room eating ramen.

Maybe it was your fault for falling behind, for letting the world around you build up and not follow in Yoongi’s tracks.

—

Present

You guess it was then when the relationship had passed a point of no return. When everything that felt right had started to feel incredibly wrong. You tolerated his presence rather than bask in it. You heard him speak but couldn’t bother to listen. Maybe you were petty, but more than anything you were angry.

You were angry that he could break you that badly and you would still forgive him for it.

You stare over at Junghoon who’s cooking you up something on the stove. This is what you needed.

—

Nov. 2019

Yoongi was back from some big-name award show that you didn’t watch. You heard he won Artist of the Year or whatever, the accolades that he’s collected no longer having meaning as the days pass. Why be happy for him when he himself showed no signs of excitement? This was routine. He expected the awards at this point.

You walked towards him. Yoongi looked angry, though you have no idea why.

“Hey, I made dinner to celebrate,” you tell him. Yoongi’s sitting on the couch, scrolling through the congratulatory messages he received from other industry stars. He looked like he needed to get something off his chest.

“I’m not hungry,” he mutters. “Just leave it.”

“Are you sure?”

He scoffs. It was a simple question.

“Not in the mood.”

You give him a pointed look and sit next to him.

“Why are you never in the mood for anything?” you ask him. “It’s just food Yoongi. I just want to eat with you.”

You don’t see it properly but he rolls his eyes.

“Just drop it okay? Today’s a good day, I don’t need you to ruin it.”

You suck in your cheeks.

“Ruin?”

Yoongi sighs heavily.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he starts, facing you. “Why do you have to be so dramatic over everything.”

You grit your teeth.

“Dramatic?” your voice quivers. “I didn’t know feeling hurt was being dramatic.”

His gaze softens and he touches your arm lightly.

“Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”

You shake your head, feeling your eyes dampen at his words.

“I hate your apologies, Yoongi,” you say in a hushed tone. “They don’t mean anything anymore.”

He’s shocked, not really sure how to respond. You were never one to confront him, especially when he was angry. Instead, he holds your hand softly. He was terrible at comforting people.

“Yoongi are you really sorry?” you ask abruptly. It was a question you’ve been meaning to ask for years now.

His grip on you tightened and you can’t quite read his expression, but you can tell that it’s not a positive response. He looks conflicted and he shouldn’t have to be if he really was. You force him to let go of you.

“I am,” he says, knowing he answered a little too late for his words to not seem suspicious.

“I don’t think you are,” you reply sadly. “You say sorry more than you-”

say I love you.

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence because he knows. He knows what you’re trying to say.

“I am,” he says with more sincerity, but he looks at you with an unreadable expression. “I just don’t think it’s enough at this point.”

“What’s not enough?”

You were confused. Is he still talking about whether he's apologetic or not? Or is it something entirely different?

“I do love you,” he says with a certain conviction in his voice, “and I always will, but it feels like nothing’s working out.”

Yoongi doesn’t look at you and focuses on the leather of the fancy couch. He doesn’t say anything but you know what this means. He’s about to stand up, but you grab onto his wrist.

“This is your apartment,” you say before he could say anything to break your heart even further. “I’ll leave.”

“[Y/N], no,” he says. “You don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m just gonna stay over at the dorm. I just...”

Your eyes get blurry from the tears. Even now it felt like he was looking down at you. Nowhere to go. It was like he pitied you.

“...need to go clear my mind,” he finishes the sentence, standing up to grab his coat.

You shake your head and stand in front of him. He’s usually like this. A coward. A bumbling fool who would rather avoid problems than face them head on.

“I need you to stay, Yoongi,” you cry out. “I need you to actually stay for once and comfort me.”

He looks at you, mouth open but no words come out. He smiles sadly and walks toward you, kissing your cheek.

“I don’t think I can do that anymore, [Y/N],” he says and you watch him leave as easily as he walked in.

It’s not like he ever comforted you in the first place.

—

The break up happened silently over a late-night phone call a few days after he disappeared on you. You packed up your things, stayed over at Chaerin’s house, and braced yourself for what was to come. It should’ve happened sooner, you admit, but your heart still sinks when he speaks.

“I just don’t think either of us is willing to try anymore,” he says solemnly. “We’ve been on and off for the past few years and I don’t think it’s healthy for either of us to continue.”

You agree, just wanting the call to end quickly so you wouldn’t have to hear his voice any longer. It hurt to have to listen to him rationalize breaking your heart.

“I don’t think we should be together anymore, [Y/N],” he says, not even a tiny bit choked up. “I think we’ve... outgrown each other.”

You knew what Yoongi really meant. He’s outgrown you.

“I think so too,” you say rigidly. Short and simple. You left nothing to be desired. “Let’s break up.”

Yoongi looks at his phone, slightly disappointed. He wished you would fight back, maybe rekindle something in him that he’s lost over the years. Yet you were silent on the line and he just had to accept it- that there was nothing left to be saved.

“Take care, okay?” he says softly because in the end he still cares- he just doesn’t want to anymore.

“I will,” you reply, ultimately hanging up the phone. You collapse onto a bed unfamiliar to you. Yoongi would no longer sleep beside you, no longer reach over to hug your side and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He was gone and you had to accept that maybe he was never yours in the first place.

His last words replay in your mind.

Take care.

That was the most concern he’s ever shown you in the past few weeks. You almost scoff at the absurdity of it all. You don’t notice how truly broken you were until the tears start streaming down your face. You see the image of him through blurry eyes and you wonder how you could let Yoongi leave such a permanent scar on your heart.

—

Present

“Do you like your eggs runny or no?”

Junghoon asks as you approach his figure. You hug him from behind and smile at his warmth. Safe.

“Just a little runny,” you reply.

He smiles and nods, turning off the heat and grabbing some seasoning from your cupboard. You detach yourself from him when you realized what he was grabbing.

“Babe that’s not salt. That’s-”

Sugar.

You stop yourself from saying it and Junghoon looks at you with concern. He chuckles at your stoic state and ruffles your hair.

“Cat got your tongue or what?” he asks, grabbing the right container this time. “Maybe I should’ve asked if you like your eggs sweet instead, huh?”

“I’ve never tried that combination before,” you say teasingly. “Why don’t you test it out for us.”

He clicks his tongue at you and splashes some salt on your face.

“I’ll pour sugar all over you if that’s what you really want.”

You laugh half-heartedly. A simple word shouldn’t affect you this much but you find yourself get more teary-eyed as it repeats in your head. It wasn’t fair to Junghoon that you were thinking of your ex in his presence. It wasn’t fair to you either.

You feel a vibration from your pocket and you pull it out to serve as a distraction from your wallowing thoughts. It’s a text.

From Sugar.

—

A/N: This was so hard to write because my mind has just been empty these days but I’m so glad it’s done now >_< Thank you to @minyoongail for requesting this story. I’ve been bumping to the Taylor Swift song now because of this commissions T^T I recommend you all to listen to it. I tried to write this in a different style from my other works so I hope this is still readable for you all LOL

I’m closing commissions temporarily to focus on the ones I have now and to also start writing my own stuff. Let me know how you feel about this, I appreciate all types of comments and criticisms <3 Look forward to Part 2!

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wlntrsldler · 4 years

Text

unrequited (draco malfoy/ cedric diggory series)

PROMPT: You and Cedric grew up together. After the tragedy of the Triwizard Tournament, you’re left feeling empty without your best friend. Draco Malfoy steps into the picture. Will the feelings be reciprocated? Or will it be unrequited?

WARNINGS: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, angst, fluff, sadness???

PAIRING: draco malfoy x reader and cedric diggory x reader; hufflepuff reader

WC: 2.2K+

UNREQUITED MASTERLIST

UNREQUITED PLAYLISTS (SEND ME SONGS!)

PART 10

“Meet me in the meadows after hours? -D”

You smiled down at the piece of parchment that was sticking out of your Charms book. You looked around, trying to see how Draco managed to slip it in your book. Not seeing the blond anywhere, you tucked the note in your pocket and resumed your day.

It was your first day back to Hogwarts from the holidays. Before you got to school, you picked up something for Draco as a thank you for his presents for you. At first you wanted to send it off, excitement getting the best of you, but his worried expression that was engraved in your mind made you worry. What if the wrong hands got the presents? You knew Draco didn’t like his home. You chose not to risk it and decided to hold onto it until you saw him in person again. So far, there hasn’t been a good time to talk to him. Everyone was too hyper with seeing each other again that Draco was almost, always surrounded by his Slytherin followers.

On your way to the Great Hall, people were greeting each other, happy that they got to see their friends again. The trio were nowhere to be found, which isn’t a good sign, given the past few years. The twins were in the Great Hall, already making the entire Gryffindor table burst out in laughter. They were showing off their new product, another pranking item, as usual. Blaise was their first target. You shook your head, praying that they won’t get in too much trouble for their pranks.

You couldn’t wait for the day to be over. You stayed silent at the Hufflepuff table, not in the mood to talk to any of your housemates, who avoided you like the plague anyway. As people started to disperse, you followed their lead and retreated to your dormitory. You glanced at the two bottles of cologne on your dresser, smiling at the memories each held. You sprayed some of the evergreen cologne on your wrist, something in the air drawing you to it more than the golden one for today.

You’ve noticed that you were torn between the two most days. Some days you opted to use Cedric’s cologne, his absence hitting you more than you would like to admit. During those days, you would read his journal, which you’ve already finished, and spend extra time on the page where he declared his love for you. You would close your eyes and repeat, “I love you, Cedric.” You repeated it like a mantra, hoping that wherever he was, he was able to hear you too.

Some days you used Draco’s cologne, missing the boy’s presence a bit more than normal. You’d spray it and imagine his hands writing the note to you in his perfect handwriting. How he was probably concentrated over the piece of parchment, maybe even sealing the envelope with a kiss. It’s wishful thinking, you knew that, thinking that Draco may feel something for you too. But it lived in your mind, never letting you rest from the thought.

Once they called lights out, you waited a few minutes before slipping out to the garden and into the passageway. You looked at the small box in your hand, heart beating against your chest. You were more than nervous. What if he didn’t like it? What if you misread the situation entirely?

“Y/N.”

You didn’t realize you were already in the meadows. Your feet knew exactly where to go without directions from your brain. You stopped, breath hitched in your throat. Draco stood there, paler than ever before, eyes sunken in, and a bit skinnier than you remembered. He smiled widely when he saw you emerge from the passageway, like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He walked over to you, arms parted as if he was about to hug you, then he hesitated. A blush covered his cheeks, dropping his arms by his sides, and shifted his weight from the balls of his feet to his toes.

Sensing his awkwardness, you outstretched your arms, beckoning him to come close. “C’mere.”

He reluctantly obeyed, stiffly hugging you back. You sighed, running your hand across his back, feeling the hardness of his spine against his jumper. You squeezed him tighter as you felt him melt into your arms. You cradled him like that for a while, letting him bury his neck into the crook of your neck. He was hunched over, letting you cover him like a safety blanket. You treasured his scent, shivering when his cold fingers accidentally traced over the skin on your neck.

He flinched, quickly moving away, “Sorry.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, hating the way he pulled back like it was second nature. You walked over to him, lacing your fingers with his, hoping he’d see that you didn’t mind the cold. You tugged on his hand and walked down deeper into the meadows. “I got you something.”

Draco looked at you, confused, as he stared at the little box you held in the palm of your hand. He took it, inspecting it closely. “For what?”

“For Christmas, silly.” You giggled, urging him to open it. You chewed on your bottom lip, growing more and more nervous as he made his way to undo the bow on top. “Thank you, by the way. For the cologne.”

“It’s the least I can do.” He replied, sincerely. He opened the box and saw a silver ring in the middle of it. Draco picked it up, noticing the engraving on the outside of the ring. It looked like it was your handwriting.

You are good.

Draco took in a harsh breath. He kept his head down, tears congregating in his eyes. Nobody has ever told him that. All his life he’s been known as the heir of Slytherin, the Slytherin prince, a Malfoy- a name that held so much weight that he didn’t want to carry. He re-read it, over and over again. His thumb rubbed against the engraving, memorizing the way it’s engraved within the metal. Before he slipped it on, he felt the ridges of the inner engraving. He tilted the ring to the right and read the words inside.

You are not the choices forced upon you.

He couldn’t stop the tears from falling once he read those words. He still kept his head down, embarrassed that he was crying so much from your present. He was silent, quietly sniffling and breathing out shaky breaths. Silence fell upon the two of you, meters apart. Draco was looking down while you stared at him, biting down on your thumb, unsure of what to make of his reaction.

You grew scared and decided to break the ice, “I’m sorry if you don’t like it. I just noticed that you no longer had your Slytherin ring and I thought you’d like a ring as a replacement. N-not that this ring is as good as your Slytherin ring, Merlin knows it’s probably not as good of a quality but maybe you’d lik-”

“I love it.” Draco interrupted, finally looking up. A real smile was etched on his face, tears slipping out of his eyes once again. He slipped it on his finger, almost jumping when he saw a faint yellow light blink from the ring. “What was that?”

“Oh, I almost forgot.” You blushed, stepping closer to him. You held the hand that sported his ring, watching it light up again. “I used magic to make it more personal to us. Whenever I want you to know that I’m thinking of you, it shoots out the light. You wrote in your note that you were thinking of me and I just wanted to show you I’m thinking of you too.”

“You’re thinking of me right now?”

“Always am but I don’t think you’d want it shooting out yellow lights all the time.” You laughed. “I’m sure people would get a bit annoyed too.”

He stared at it, unable to wipe the smile from his face. “Let them be.”

“I hope you like it.”

“I love it.”

“I’m glad.”

Draco closed his eyes, thinking of everything that happened in the Malfoy Manor throughout the holidays. Would you still think of him as a good man if you found out what he did? To find out what he’s being forced to do? He knew you would never look at him the same if you found out. And if he was being honest, he doesn’t want you to ever stop looking at him the way you do now.

You look at him with stars in your eyes. You don’t look at him in hopes of getting something, in hopes to accomplish something. You’re not using him for his name, for his power. You’re not expecting anything from him but his true self. You’re looking at him like you want him. It’s the way you looked at Cedric the first time he saw the two of you. It’s the way he looked at you all those years. Now, you’re looking at him in the same way. Call him selfish, but he wasn’t ready to give that up.

A piece of him broke knowing as much as he felt for you- dare he say it, as much as he loved you, he would never be able to love you the way he wants to. He itched his forearm, his reminder that life will not always be kind to him, the way it is now. Draco ignored the burning sensation on his arm and found the courage to look at you again. Your eyes twinkled with innocence, cheeks rosy, and nose red because of the cold. You were shivering under the moon, awkwardly rubbing your hands up and down your arms for warmth. He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around you. He knew it probably didn’t help much, given his own struggles with being warm, but he did it anyway. Draco just wanted an excuse to be near you.

Your arms wrapped themselves around his waist, head resting on his chest. You felt calm listening to his heartbeat against your ear, beating steadily. He let his lips ghost over the skin of your forehead, not daring to actually touch you. They were warm, much to your surprise, and continued to almost touch you. His lips hovered over your skin, blowing soft breaths of nervousness. You could feel his heart starting to beat quicker, uncertainty taking over his body. Draco wanted to kiss you. More than anything.

You waited for him to do something, hoping that you weren’t reading into signs that meant nothing to him. He waited for a sign, afraid of what you might do if he acted on his urges. He wanted to make sure you wanted him the same way. He placed his chin on top of your head, looking down at his hands holding onto you tightly. A flash of yellow caught his attention. You were thinking of him.

Before he lost his confidence, he pulled you away from his body for a moment, cursing at the way he already missed your weight on him. Your exterior faltered, afraid that Draco changed his mind about you already. You looked down, ashamed that you would even think that Draco could reciprocate the feelings you harbored. He tilted your chin upwards, eyes nervously flickering between your eyes and your lips. Draco looked for signs of hesitation in your features, growing more confident when he saw none. He kept his fingers under your chin as he leaned in, heart almost bursting out of his chest. He was sure you could feel it against your body.

He watched as you closed your eyes, eyelashes fluttering against your skin. Your lips were red, plump and he couldn’t wait to place his on top of yours. He darted out his tongue, licking his lips to dampen them. Draco followed suit, eyes closing, as he leaned closer and closer to you.

When his lips finally met yours, his knees almost gave out on him when he heard your soft whimper at the contact. He was in love with all the sounds you made, so innocent and so lovely to him. Your arms snaked around his neck, pulling him closer to you. Your chests were pushed against each other as his grip on your hips tightened even more. His lips worked against yours flawlessly. You smiled into the kiss, making him do the same. Airy giggles and mutters of adoration were exchanged in the moments that you two kissed.

Once you pulled away, Draco connected your foreheads, smile still plastered on his face. His eyes were closed and he looked so happy. This, you thought, this is what I want to remember for the rest of my life. Draco looked like he was glowing, his happiness radiating off his skin. You intertwined your fingers, using your other hand to touch the new ring on his finger. He opened his eyes, watching your movements.

“You are good.” You whispered to him, lips kissing the corner of his mouth. Then his cheek. Then his nose. Then his forehead. Finally, you placed a soft kiss on his lips, red and raw from the kiss you shared earlier. “You are not the choices forced upon you.”

A/N: just an fyi, there’s probably only 1-2 more happy chapters then it gets to heavy angst. beware.

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