#I literally saw it at work and promptly screamed

[xxskycrystalxx]

KASTLE IS COMING BACK TO US!!!!!!!!!!

[chuulyssa]

🇨​​ 🇴 ​​🇳 ​​🇫​​ 🇪 ​​🇸​​ 🇸 ​​🇮 ​​🇴 ​​🇳​ ！

BSD MEN REACTING TO A CONFESSION.

↷ A/N ─ yes new divider again because im indecisive as heck

★ FT. ─ dazai , chuuya , ranpo , akutagawa , atsushi , fyodor

!! TAGS ─ mentions of suicide, insecurities, overall fluff

"i love you."

ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ.

promptly replies with, "i love you too."

he'll lean into you with an amused smile because he lowkey thinks you're joking

when he realizes you're serious about it he'll immediately stop the stupid grin

and look at you with this sincere look you've never seen on his face before

he'll hold your hand and everything while repeating "i love you too," for a second time, only this time he's serious about it too

definitely asks for double suicide later

"You know it's my motto to unalive myself with a beautiful woman. How lucky of you to have been bestowed upon this honour."

"Mhm."

"I'll say yes if you join me in a double suicide," he asks with puppy eyes.

"Dazai, you already said yes."

"I'll say it again!"

​ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ.

he stops abruptly and half chokes on his expensive ass wine

poor boy is really confused 😭 because "where did that come from??"

he tries to play it cool but he's literally SCREAMING inside

we all know he's been betrayed a lot of times in the past so he feels hesitant about it

will decide to give it a shot tho

100% calls dazai to brag about it

"You may be taller or whatever (as if that matters in the first place) but were you the one able to steal her heart? Eh? I think not!"

You chuckle hearing him update his rival of his new relationship status.

"And anyway," he raises a glass of wine for toast. "I'd like to thank my good looks, good looks and did I mention my good looks (?) for making tonight the happiest night ever."

ʀᴀɴᴘᴏ.

"i know."

he has always observed every single thing about you - how you behave around others vs how you behave around him, the little times you look at him like you want his attention etc etc

he's known about this since like soooo long

he defo also knew when where and how you were gonna confess

went to yosano for tips to react to it and bought you chocolates and stuff. he thinks it'll make you happy :D

eats all of that himself even tho he originally bought it for you but you let it slide because he's a cutie patootie

"You could at least have been a bit subtle about it," he says, munching on his chips. "I mean, anyone who saw you would've been able to guess. I didn't even need my ability for this!"

He lifts his chin up thoughtfully, fingers ripping open another packet of snacks. "You should be grateful I'm not a snitch. Eh, well," he shrugs, "You're now dating the greatest detective in the world! Congratulations!"

ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ.

"eh???"

like chuuya, he's pretty confused too

"are you sure?"

tries to keep a straight face and hide his fluster

he'll narrow his eyes at you as if he's trying to read your emotions. he doesn't wanna get hurt if he gets too attached to you and you two end up breaking up

also how tf is he supposed to believe that someone like YOU like someone like HIM?

reassure him that he's perfect please :( poor baby deserves the world

"I am a lot of work. I don't think you can keep up with all of that," he says shortly.

"I'll try my best."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to!"

He stares at you for a few moments, looking like he's about to cry.

"Oh, alright then," he waves a hand around. "But don't you ever leave me."

ᴀᴛꜱᴜꜱʜɪ.

screams

"SAY IT AGAIN PLEASE!"

jumps around everywhere in happiness

you dont even get a verbal answer the man's just dancing around

either that or he just faints

he's, like akutagawa, insecure about himself. but he's much more open to showing his emotions to you.

you end up cuddling the whole night or he calls off work to be with you for the rest of the day <3

"I..." he repeats the same word for the fifth time in a row.

"Yes?"

"Don't mind me, I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I get to date you."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, no!" he panics, wringing both hands all over himself hastily. "I love you! Really!"

ꜰʏᴏᴅᴏʀ.

no reaction. im sorry

spares a small glance at you but otherwise doesn't get distracted from his work

you think he's gone deaf from the way he just ignored you cuz what????

will spend like 15 minutes that way before extending an arm to you and you lowkey DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO??? HELP??

he'll stare at you for a few seconds before pulling you onto his lap and continuing with his work

and that's his way of saying yes

He shuts the computers around him down and taps your outer thigh twice. You immediately stand up and help him up. He stares at you for a few seconds, contemplating something.

"You know, I never thought I'd enable others to call me a lovesick fool."

"Does that mean you are a lovesick fool?"

"A little, maybe," he turns around and walks out of the door while you follow him with a soft smile on your face.

© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.

[kquil]

How about the marauders meeting their match in reader from Slytherin and falling for her, but reader is oblivious?

Btw i love your writing, you're literally my favorite writer

PERFECT MATCH

I tried! it's not my best work but i hope you like it anyhow, darling

i also hope i interpreted this request correctly (┳Д┳)

length : 0.8k

You go barrelling into James’s chest with a yelp and take a moment to recover, “oops! Sorry about that!” you grin up at the Gryffindor chaser as he and his three other friends stare down at you in bewilderment. Most Slytherins would scoff or pull a disgusted face at the sight of a Gryffindor so your apparent and undisturbed rapture was bewildering. 

“GET BACK HERE YOU DAFT COW!” It was then that they finally saw the merriment be wiped from your face and get replaced by slight terror. 

“gottarunbye!” you push away from James’s chest and speed away as the marauders stare at you, still bewildered at what they just witnessed. Not long after you made your prompt exit did a group of Slytherins go run past them with warts all over their faces. 

“Wow…” Sirius whistles lowly, impressed by your handiwork, “Rosier, Macmillan, Lestrange, Malfoy and Nott too,”

“To her own house as well,” James voices in shock. 

“Somehow, I hope she gets away with it,” Remus tucks his hands into his pockets as he smirks at his friends. 

“Me too,” Peter pipes in, “I was partners with her in Potions once, she was civil, friendly even but still guarded,” the boys listened to his observations closely, even leaning in to do so, “I thought she was just shy but…”

“Interesting…” Remus hums to himself, speaking what was on everyone’s minds.  

The next time they see you is during charms. The room was circular and the podium for the teacher to explain spells and communicate openly with the students was in the centre, while the students were seated all around and at different levels, much like a circular theatre. From their side of the room, James, Sirius and Remus watch as you snicker to yourself, using the ‘wingardum leviosa’ charm to sneakily move the quill of the Slytherin in front and below you from their right side to their left, then back again when they found it but didn’t have use for it at that moment. 

Sirius giggles along with you when you make eye contact across the room. You wink at him and mouth a ‘watch this’. He focuses his gaze on the scene and has to hold back a devious cackle when you momentarily transfigure the quill into a spider just as the Slytherin student went to reach for his ‘quill’. This pulls a piercing, girlish scream out of your victim but when the professor swiftly turns to see what was wrong, you had already turned the spider back into a quill again. Promptly, Slytherin was deducted house points for causing a disruption in class — a small price to pay. 

“She’s my new idol,” Sirius sighs with his chin propped up on his palm, a dreamy look in his eyes, “forget her being a Slytherin,”

You meet eyes with Sirius once more, who silently claps for you as you pretend to tip a hat at him. Looking down you see James with his jaw slacked and mouth open at you in awe. He couldn’t believe how brilliant you were and his mind was racing with thoughts of whether he should try to compete against you or celebrate your small but remarkable victory. So caught up in his admiration of you, James overlooked the elegant swish of your wand and almost screamed in fear when he felt something ticking his chin. Abruptly pulling away with force, he watches as his feathered quill slowly floats down to his desk, beside his parchment. 

“She tickled me…” James awes, “with my quill…” 

“She’s a pretty little minx, is what she is,” Sirius comments with a chuckle, unable to take his eyes off your sweet face and pouty lips. Beside his two friends, Remus stares at you with a captivated gaze and can’t seem to keep his eyes away for too long when they have to return to taking notes for class. You became a prominent distraction for Remus, leaving Peter to seek help from the student seated on his other side, who wasn’t much good either. 

After some moments, Remus looks up at you only to make brief eye contact with him, which he embarrassingly, swiftly pulls away from. He looks at you several more times, still avoiding your gaze, until he catches you folding up a small piece of paper. He proceeds to stare in fascination as you create an origami bird that you gently breathe life into, sending it across the classroom to him, flapping its delicate wings for flight. The dainty bird lands gracefully on his parchment, where it falls lifelessly. Meeting your eyes again, you subtly signal him to unfold it and read the message written inside while Sirius and James lean over to have a read for themselves. 

‘Who’s more ticklish between you and Sirius?’

The question makes Remus look up and stare at you with a raised brow. However, the sight of your impish smirk as you twirl your wand between your fingers makes his heart hammer in his chest frantically. The brunette turns to James who was holding in his laughter and trying to hide his grin behind a closed fist. 

“Looks like you two are next,” the Gryffindor chaser chuckles under his breath as Sirius and Remus share a look before gulping apprehensively. They look at you with tense shoulders, nervous eyes and butterflies in their stomachs. 

[pureartistchaos]

Here's the entirety of the grocery store Rocky Horror fic because I feel like it belongs on this app

(Also @bradassholemajors asked me to post it sooo...)

-

"Frank, I really don't think this is necessary."

Frank dramatically flicked his hand, lowering his sunglasses to see the face of a very uncomfortable Columbia. "Well, you are the one who was complaining about our choice of food. I'm just trying to stop your incessant whining."

"Meatloaf every single night is a bit excessive, is all! And I meant your outfit."

Frank scoffed. "I'm just trying to look presentable."

"...We're going to a Price Chopper." Janet said softly.

"And?" Frank challenged.

"And you're wearing 9 in heels, a corset, enough jewlery to put a Victorian child into a coma, and fishnets." Brad said flatly, pulling out his wallet.

"So? At least I look good. You look like you work at the price chopper." Frank retorted.

“We’re here.” Riffraff sighed, pulling the car over. “Please, just get out.”

“Thank you.” Frank smiled. “Remember, I expect the whole castle to be clean and dinner to be made when we get back.”

“You’ve told us enough times.” Magenta sighed, helping Frank out.

“Clearly not- not if you’re still complaining.” Frank rolled his eyes, stepping out of the car and dragging Brad with him.

“...Rocky and I are going to go look for some uh- bottled water! Yeah.” Brad announced, promptly sprinting off with Rocky on his heels, casting an apologetic look at Janet.

“I’m gonna go with him!” Columbia added, sprinting after the two of them.

“I guess it’s just you and me, Weiss.” Frank smirked, putting a hand around Janet’s waist. His hand was promptly swatted off.

“Unfortunately.” Janet muttered, walking inside. She pretended to look at a front display of something she didn’t want, nor did she need.

“Oh, lighten up. Brad told me you love shopping.” Frank hummed, walking into an aisle. “Ooh, this looks good! It looks like that sports drink Brad gave to Rocky… gatorade, or something?” He asked, picking up a bottle with neon blue liquid.

“...Frank, that’s windex.” Janet replied, mortified.

“Windex… I’ve never heard of it.” He shrugged, tossing it in the cart.

“Frank, you- you’ll get poisoned if you drink that.”

“Ohhh! Relax, dear, human alcohol doesn’t affect me.”

“No-” Janet sighed, putting the Windex back. “It’s a cleaning product, Frank. For windows and stuff.”

“Oh.” Frank shrugged, putting it back in the cart. “Well, that’s a gift for Magenta, then.”

“Isn’t it rude to give her-”

“Nonsense. She needs it.” Frank sighed. “Oh, Rocky would get it. I don’t know why he likes you of all people.”

“I don’t know why Brad likes you of all people.”

“And why is that? Everyone likes me!” Frank replied over his shoulder, looking at nail polish.

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” Janet spat. “I’m gonna go find my fiance.”

“You still have one of those?” Frank crossed his arms.

“Just help me find Brad!” Janet snapped, marching off.

“The sign says bottled water is the other way!” Frank called after her.

“I’LL WORK MY WAY AROUND TO IT!” Janet shouted back.

Frank shrugged and walked towards the water. He regretted it instantly when he saw Rocky on the floor, flailing his arms and having a tantrum like a literal toddler.

“...He wanted a chocolate bar.” Columbia explained.

“No way. He knows he isn't allowed.” Frank snapped quickly. He seemed to instantly regret his words when Rocky screamed louder and threw a chocolate bar at him. “...Oh, my.”

“What do we do?!” Columbia asked, panicked.

“Uh- Brad will handle it!” Frank announced, pushing Brad forward.

“WHY ME?!”

“BECAUSE YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS!”

“Just let him have the damn chocolate bar!”

“No! He's only allowed to eat-”

“DUCK!” Columbia shrieked as another chocolate bar flew at them.

“Please, Frank, just let him have it!” Brad begged.

“...Fine! Fine, he can have one! Just make him stop!”

“I heard yelling!” Janet ran into the aisle.

Columbia crossed her arms. “Well, no shit.”

“Here, Rocky, you can have it.” Brad timidly offered Rocky a chocolate bar, as if he was afraid of him. Rocky instantly stopped yelling and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

The relief was short-lived as Frank took it back. “...But we have to pay for it first.”

Rocky instantly started screaming again. Columbia covered her ears. “SHIT!”

“GODDAMMIT FRANK, YOU COULDN'T HAVE LET HIM HOLD IT?!” Brad yelled, taking it back and returning it to Rocky.

“But he can't eat it yet!”

“HE KNOWS THAT!”

“It's okay, Rocky…” Janet said softly, kneeling down to him. “You can hold it.”

“You all sicken me.” Frank scoffed. “I'm finding some actual food for him.”

“I'll go too. To make sure he actually buys food.” Brad announced, walking off behind Frank.

“He almost drank Windex.” Janet explained softly.

“...Sometimes I wonder what I see in him.” Columbia confessed, picking up one of the chocolates from the floor and putting it back on the shelf.

“Sometimes I wonder what Brad sees in him.”

Columbia gasped. “You mean-”

Janet sighed, clutching the sleeve of her dress like it could protect her. “I have a feeling.”

“It's not just him.” Columbia reassured her. “He's a good guy… Frank just does that sort of thing to people.”

“I still feel ashamed he did it to me…”

Columbia smirked, glancing between Janet and Rocky. “He's not the only one.”

“I- I was in the moment! I was stressed, and he- oh… oh, I'm terrible, aren't I?” Janet looked down shamefully.

“Not in this castle, you aren't.” Columbia rested a gentle hand on Janet’s shoulder, and they shared a smile for a few moments before Columbia suddenly broke off. “Come on, let's get the boys. I don't think Magenta will appreciate trying to cook with whatever Frank assumes is food.”

“We could just go out to eat.” Janet agreed.

“Then let's go.”

“Wait.” Janet stopped her to grab a bottle of wine. She hesitated and grabbed two.

“Two? Damn, Weiss, you have no shame.”

“Shut up. Something tells me we're gonna need them.” Janet snapped, handing Columbia a bottle and helping Rocky off the ground. They were about to head out of the aisle when a security guard approached them.

“Is one of you… er… Columbia? Am I reading that right?” He asked.

“Yes.” Columbia stepped forward.

“Your friend is outside. And… Janet, I presume? So is your fiance.” He said promptly. As he walked away, Janet heard him mumble “Fucking weirdos”.

“I wonder what they did to get kicked out?” Janet asked worriedly.

“Knowing Frank? I'm surprised it took him this long to get kicked out. But Brad?” Columbia scoffed.

The two walked cautiously to the front with Rocky in tow, and found Frank standing there angrily, ranting to Brad.

“And I didn’t even do anything wrong! It's their fault for making the robot so stupid.” Frank scoffed.

“Exactly! Plus, if they didn't want it to be punchable-”

“What did you do?” Janet asked angrily.

“Um… listen, Janet-” Brad started.

“He punched the storekeeper robot thing.” Frank smirked.

“HE WHAT?!” Janet shrieked. Columbia just sighed and opened the wine- which they had not paid for- and took a long drink of it.

“It wouldn't move so Frank could get the bread!” Brad protested. “And it kept beeping.”

“I already called Magenta from the phone in the store.” Frank sighed. “She is on her way.”

“CORRECTION, SHE'S ALREADY HERE!” Magenta yelled from the car, driving up to the curb. “Get in, before we get in more trouble.”

Everyone nodded and promptly got in the car, not even buckling in before Magenta sped off.

Brad gasped when he saw what Columbia was holding. “Did you pay for that wine?!”

“Nope.” Columbia smirked, offering some to Janet. Janet wordlessly took it and downed half the bottle, while Columbia turned to Magenta. “Can you take us to McDonald’s, please?”

“Can-” Frank protested.

“Rocky can eat it.” Columbia snapped back.

Magenta sighed. “You owe me,” she scoffed as she turned the car around.

“Thank you.” Columbia smiled back.

...

“Rocky, no, the toy isn't food.” Frank scolded, taking the small Hello Kitty toy away from him.

“Why do they put those in the boxes?” Magenta asked, taking a sip of her coffee. “Also, this coffee is shit.”

“That's kinda the point of the place.” Brad sighed. “Rocky, no, don't eat the- you eat the chicken nuggets! These things!”

“I'll take them if he doesn't want them.” Columbia smirked, eating her own and taking a sip of her Dr. Pepper.

“Eat your own food.” Frank replied, hesitantly taking a bite of his hot fudge sundae.

“Says the one who's barely eaten anything.”

“I'm surprised they let us bring the alcohol in here.” Janet added.

“I worked here when I was sixteen. They don't pay you enough to care.” Columbia explained.

“Thanks for paying for all this, Brad.” Janet smiled.

“Wait, I paid for this? I thought Columbia did!” Brad sat up.

“I did! With your credit card.” Columbia laughed, passing the card back. “You can have this back- I doubt it'll be very useful after this, though.”

[fourleafclovxr]

8: hewn

Only one teacher is allowed into the Theatre of Tales, the night before the Circus of Talents. The rest are locked in their rooms, doors spelled shut with a magic far older and more powerful than their own, for all the Dean of Good might try.

But August Sader walks unrestricted in the School; Rafal could not keep him trapped if he tried. Not that he would try. There’s an old analogy about two birds. One that has every luxury in the world, but is kept in a locked cage. Another that has nothing, except for its freedom to come and go as it pleases. The first will fly away as soon as it is able. The second will always come back home.

August is still unsure of which, exactly, Rafal sees him as. Or which he is.

Rafal must know that, in the end, they are not on the same side.

But he is kind to August, or if not kind, at least lenient with him in ways no one else is afforded. Of all his colleagues August alone is allowed the privilege of freely coming and going wherever he desires. He can go home, meet his brothers, meet their children— if they want to see him. He can visit his sister and her twins, Rafal’s twins— if she lets him. Most of the time she doesn’t. The last time he saw Rhian and Japeth was their eighth birthday, the year before Evelyn sent them off to Arbed House.

A lot of the freedoms Rafal allows him are not freedoms at all, really. August would not leave the School if he could help it. He likes it here, really, likes that he’s familiar with the winding steps and the ever-alike classrooms and the intersecting hallways, likes that he knows his way around.

More than that, this is his duty. This School; this post.

And this man, just a man, who knows full well August would never believe his mystique. The School Master is sparing with his name, but he’d given it to August freely: Rafal, or, as I was known before, Rhian. Call me Rafal. My dear brother was wrong about me. He’s dead, now.

August, who had written and animated his first draft of the Student’s History of the Woods about Rafal and Rhian, or the other way around— then promptly burned it— had only nodded. Rafal’s mask had glinted, a blur of silver in August’s vision. I look forward to working with you, my Seer, he’d said.

My Seer. Rafal has always treated him like a possession, a prize. Has always been so proud that August chose to come to him. It is something that is easy to resent.

And yet August chooses to come to him, even now. Chooses to sit and listen patiently as Rafal enchants wooden likenesses of dying princes, on the other side of the Theatre for Tales. He’s spelled them to die with choked-off screams and feeble declarations of Good, though August isn’t sure how they’re dying exactly. It would be disturbing, if they weren’t in a School quite literally raising children to kill each other in their fourth year.

August has been dreaming of these things for years. Before he knew what they were.

He’s been dreaming of Rafal for longer. He knows all this already.

One last scream, and the room drifts mercifully into silence. Rafal turns, his boots clicking neatly on the floor as he makes his way back to the Good side of the theatre, cape sweeping over the floor with more flair than ever necessary.

He comes to a stop in front of August; offers his arm, fingers brushing August’s shoulder. There is not much August can do other than take it, gripping his cane firmly as Rafal pulls him to his feet. Rafal’s hands are, as always, ice-cold.

“You never have anything to say,” Rafal says lightly, half-complaining. “Perhaps this is the year my art finally gets through to you.”

“Our dearly beloved School Master,” August says, acerbic. “An artist. Perhaps you should pursue that, instead.”

“I could say the same about you, my dearly beloved Seer,” Rafal laughs. He seems happy to have gotten a rise out of August at all.

They pause just in front of the wall. August brushes his fingers over the carvings with a gentle touch; the carved knights cough and cry as he does. It’s good workmanship. Rafal has had a hundred years to improve on it, after all. But it’s not a very pleasant experience.

He says as much. “It’s not supposed to be,” Rafal replies, “they’re Evil.” He guides August to a carving of… some monster, or another, one that roars under his touch, spitting a burst of burning sparks. August tugs his hand back reproachfully. Rafal laughs, again.

“I’ll enchant something nicer for Good,” he promises. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Our first Good Seer in generations. Our first Seer with any sort of allegiance.” His voice strays dark as he completes the thought.

“You know very well why I have an allegiance,” August says mildly. It’s his duty; to kill Rafal. There is only one way this story ends.

“We could have been such good friends,” Rafal sighs. “You and I. But then I suppose we would have no reason to be.” He hooks his arm through August’s once again. They play at closeness, the two of them. Or Rafal does, at any rate.

They move to the crystal freizes, on Good’s side of the Theatre. They must be lovely, like everything to do with Good is. The stained glass is pleasantly cool under August’s fingers; he makes out the outline of a rose in bloom.

“I’m thinking of having them bloom as the students enter,” Rafal says idly. “No monsters here.”

“You just resent that Good keeps winning,” August sighs.

“I do,” Rafal admits openly. He has nothing to hide from August. He could not, either way. “There are more carvings, lower down, if you care for them.”

August nudges at the base of the wall with his cane, curious; he kneels to feel the raised patterns. Textured feathers. There, a wing, another. Borne in flight.

“Swans,” Rafal provides. Of course. He’s more predictable than he thinks.

August moves his cane along the wall, then starts walking back towards the other side, cane knocking against the continuous loop of carvings. Twin swans hewn all around the Theatre. A reminder of a promise unfulfilled.

Rafal doesn’t usually care so much.

But, of course, this Circus is special.

“This will be the tale to end all tales,” the School Master says, almost to himself. “Won’t it, August?”

“I don’t take questions,” August says.

“This is what you’re here for, after all,” Rafal continues, as if August had never spoken at all. “What role are you going to play, I wonder? Will we have to be enemies?”

This is the second to last time they will ever meet each other. August has spent years knowing Rafal, years with the idea of him— the shadow of him— living in his head. It was never going to amount to anything more than this.

Will he fly free, out of this gilded cage? Or has he sworn himself to Rafal, and his tale, and his end? You go on, no matter the cost. Seers don’t speak of costs, they only speak of duty.

Either way, both of them are trapped.

“You know,” Rafal says. Almost wistful. “You know, if I had the chance, I would want it to be you.”

[0perfectimperfections0]

The Grass on the Other Side: Part 3

"I hate everything about this idea."

Lucky stayed quiet, silently agreeing with Lou on that regard as he looked up worriedly. Moxy was on Babo's shoulders, holding her arms out to balance them as they wobbled closer to the cliffside.

"Bah, you're just being a stick in the mud! C'mon, got any better ideas?" Moxy challenged.

The blond rolled his eyes. "Multiple. Let's see," he held out a finger for each idea as he listed them off, "Lefty, the weird flying thing-"

"His name's Peggy!"

She was promptly ignored. "A ladder, literally anything else..." Lou rolled his eyes back up to Moxy. "Need I go on?"

"Lefty and Peggy won't help us, okay? I know they won't. So no point in asking."

"Why not? You're all friends here, right?"

Moxy pursed her lips, looking up at the flower as she held onto Babo's shoulders. It was still a ways up there. "We are...But this is different. They don't believe the Big World exists." Lou opened his mouth to question her further on that, but she interrupted him. "Come on, you wanna get up there or not?"

Lou sighed, arms crossed as he looked up at Moxy. She was urging him to climb up onto her shoulders in some sort of balancing act, but Lou didn't know how well that would work out. He'd already fallen on the ground once today. He looked down at Lucky, who was standing beside him observantly. "Can't you fly?"

Lucky went a little sheepish at that, quirking a smile as he averted his gaze to the ground. "Ah...I'm...working on it..."

The Pretty Doll rolled his eyes and begrudgingly walked toward the Tower of Dolls. "This better work..." he mumbled under his breath. Babo interlaced his hands and boosted Lou up. Moxy grabbed his arms and pushed him the rest of the way, holding onto his feet as he precariously flailed in the air. Babo had to side-step a few paces to keep his balance as they swayed. Lucky grit his teeth together just watching it.

"Afraid of heights?" Moxy sneered up at him as he froze, trying to steady them, arms held out stiffly.

Lou grounded his teeth together, glaring down at her. "No, I'm just allergic to dying."

Moxy huffed, squinting one eye as Lou finally situated himself on her shoulders. She held tightly onto his ankles and Babo carefully walked closer to the pipe. "Is everyone a drama queen where you're from?"

Lou didn't dignify that question with an answer. He looked up at they teetered beneath the pipe...which was still a good ten feet above them. "I still can't reach it."

Moxy hummed. "We need more dolls."

The blond refrained from face-palming, lest they lose their balance. "Seriously? That's your plan? Why can't we just use a ladder? Don't you have any of those around here? Or build something?"

"We can't do that. We'll get in trouble." Moxy said, surprisingly serious in her tone and expression.

"Why would you get in trouble?"

"Because-"

"Lou?" Someone spoke up below them.

They all froze, Lucky included, and turned to see Ox staring at them with a wide eye. Lou, most of all, was struck speechless as he and Ox made eye contact. Babo finally lost his balance from whipping his head around so fast and the three of them came crashing down in a fit of yelps and screams.

Lou found himself on his back for the second time that day. And, again, a shadow blocked his vision. Except this time it was green. "Ox? What-"

"You must be Lou," Ox quickly interrupted him. "I saw you in the newspaper. Word travels fast around here." The bunny held out a hand to Lou once he sat up from the ground. "Name's Ox."

Lou blinked at the bunny, looking between his face and the outstretched hand. "I know who you are."

This caught Moxy's attention. She dusted herself off from her own fall. "You do? How?"

Ox interrupted before he could answer. "We've never met before. I'd remember you. You musta hit your head pretty hard landin' here."

What in the world was going on? Did Ox seriously not remember him? But he had said his name... "What are you talking about?" Lou swatted the outstretched hand away and stood up. "You know me, Ox. We met at-"

"Lucky, can you go back to your place and get your aid kit? Fella's hit his head pretty bad on that landin'. He's a little delusional." Lucky looked curiously between the two of them, but nodded and hurried off. Ox gave Lou a gentle pat on the arm, which was brushed off just as fast by Lou. "Don't worry, we'll get ya fixed up and better in no time."

Ox then turned his attention to Moxy and Babo. "And don't think I forgot what ya'll just tried to pull off. That little stunt coulda hurt someone, ya hear? Go on to the boat race, you two. No more messin' around the flower."

Babo took a step back to comply, but Moxy wasn't having it. "Ox, he said he's from a different place! He said the Big World is real!"

"Yeah? Well, it ain't. You thought the Big World was real, too. Still do, and you ain't got no proof. He don't either."

"But Ox-"

"Go on, Moxy, I ain't gonna repeat myself."

She still looked incredibly frustrated and determined, but closed her mouth and huffed before walking off. Babo sent a worried look between Lou and Ox before following her.

The second they were gone, Lou shot a glare down at the bunny. "What the heck? You leave for 7 years and suddenly pretend to not know me?"

Ox would have been touched that Lou knew exactly how long it had been, if not for the circumstances. He fixed Lou with a steady look. "You shouldn't be here."

Lou blinked at the cold tone. "That's all you have to say to me after all these years?"

"That's all you had to say to me before you led me toward the recycle?"

Lou's eyes hardened, hands clenching into fists. "I was trying to save you-"

"Good job," Ox bit back sarcastically.

"You've been alive all these years and never told me? Never came back through the pipes?" If Ox didn't know any better, he'd say that Lou actually sounded hurt. "I thought you were dead."

"I wasn't wanted in that Institute. Least I could do was stay outta your hair. 'Sides, didn't think you'd wanna see me, anyway."

Lou has a million things to say to this rabbit, but his eyes glance behind Ox to where Moxy and Babo had vanished off to. "Why does this whole town think the Big World isn't real? Why have you been lying to them?"

"I did what I had to." Ox kept his voice low, as if even admitting the truth out loud was too risky even with no one around. "If they thought there was somethin' better than this out there, they'd up in my situation; tossed out. I don't want them knowin' they're rejects."

"So you blocked the way to recycle, built a whole town right next door, and convinced all your little rejects that the Big World doesn't exist? Do you understand how crazy and ridiculous that sounds?"

Ox glared up at Lou, speaking through clenched teeth. "We ain't bothered y'all in seven years. Don't act like your little perfect agenda is ruined just 'cause you know about us."

Lou scoffed at that, eyes rolling. "It's going to be if you don't get a handle on some of your sock puppets. Moxy doesn't seem to believe your little story."

"Well, now that ya told her about the Big World what am I supposed to do?" Ox was growing increasingly frustrated now. Everything was going so smoothly to keep the dolls in the dark about life outside of Uglyville and then this blond comes stumbling back into the picture and ruining everything. Moxy would never let him hear the end of it now.

"Tell her the truth."

Ox scoffed this time, shaking his head. "That's funny."

"I wasn't joking." Lou crossed his arms, nodding in the general direction of the town. "Tell all of them the truth. Tell them they're rejects and that the Big World is real, but they'll never be able to go. I think Moxy would stop trying so hard if she knew she would be wasting her time."

"And how would that make me look, huh? If they suddenly find out, after all these years, that I'd been lyin' to them?"

"Maybe you should've thought about that before lying to them." Lou was dead serious about this and Ox could tell that he was in a rock and a hard place now. Lou had to leave.

"Go back to the Institute. I'll have Lefty hoist ya up there." Ox made to turn around to do that, but Lou gave an incredulous laugh.

"Oh, no, Bunny." Lou smirked, unfolding his arms and squinting at Ox in wry amusement. "If you won't tell them then I will. My Institute is on the line with this little fib of yours."

Ox bristled, whipping around fast to glare at Lou. "You ain't tellin' them anything. Now stay put. You're goin' back where you belong."

Lou straightened at the challenge, a dangerous look in his eyes that made Ox stiffen. The blond clenched his jaw and walked past Ox. "Try and stop me."

"Lou, don't you even think about it! I'm serious!" Ox started to hurry after Lou. Stupid long-legged Pretty Doll.

Lou didn't bother looking behind him. "Maybe I just want to see more of your town. Is that so wrong?" When Ox finally fell into step beside him, he gave the bunny an innocent look.

"That's a lie and we both know it," Ox grumbled.

Lou raised an eyebrow down at him, arms folding behind his back. "Maybe not. But I know what is a lie...and this whole town is gonna know about it. You said word travels fast, right?"

Ox's eye widened and he slowed to a stop as Lou kept walking. He swallowed nervously. If the town found out about his secret...would they turn on him? Would they get mad and revolt? He had to do something to stop Lou. Anything. Would bribery even work?

Ox's mind ran a mile a minute to try and figure out a solution.

"Wait."

Lou stopped, not turning to look at Ox just yet. He tilted his head slightly to the side, seeing the blurry image of the bunny from the corner of his eye. He raised a brow, waiting for Ox to continue.

Ox took in a shaky breath, mind spinning. "Let's make a deal."

[callivich]

For the trope mash-up:

(23) Mafia AU 🔪 and (77) EMT/Medical 🚑

I recently saw something on TikTok about EMS/nurses who treat various gangsters/thugs with a bit of decency during their medical care and the thug promptly offers their services “for whatever you need” and that just screams gallavich AU to me

Anon! I love this idea! 👀

Ok, so Ian’s just finished his shift, he’s literally walking home in his uniform when he sees a guy run out of a dark alleyway. As he gets closer he hears some frustrated swearing from the alleyway and goes to take a look because the person sounds hurt.

And he finds Mickey propped up against a wall holding his side. He asks if the guy is alright and gets told to fuck off but Ian can see the guy is hurt and he tells this guy that his name is Ian and he’s an EMT, will he just let him take a look?

The guy is reluctant but he eventually gives in and Ian patches him up as best he can with the tiny first aid kit he always carries in his backpack. It’s quiet as Ian works, nothing but the sound of the guy’s heavy breathing and Ian realises the guy is watching him closely. It’s tense but not in an uncomfortable way.

The guy is surprised at Ian’s good work. He hands Ian some cash, makes him take it when Ian says he can’t accept it. And as he leaves he tells Ian, “names Mickey, you ever need anything.” He pauses to give Ian a long look. “Anything. Give me a call.” Gives Ian a plain white business card with a number on it.

Ian thinks they had a moment but doesn’t call Mickey until one night when he finds himself in trouble and has no one else to call. He doesn’t think anyone will show up, but Mickey is there within minutes…..

-

Gallavich Fanfic Trope Mashup

[bitbybitwrites]

For the au + trope + prompt game maybe:

12. babysitter!au + 4. meet messy + 27. “that was a very bad idea. 0/10 would not recommend.”

But no pressure!

OK, in true fashion, this one totally got away from me. I can't even try to pass it off as a super long drabble. It's mutated into a full blown ficlet. Ooooops.

But I guess the combination got me inspired. I kind of went literal for the meet messy trope - maybe it works? 😂

Anyway, here's 1,366 words for you, @annepi-blog

******

The last thing Blaine Anderson expected that night while delivering pizzas was to meet the love of his life. 

He wasn’t expecting too much, to be honest.  Most of his shift had gone as usual.  But his final job for the evening found Blaine with his arms filled with a rather impressive food order when he knocked on the door to a swanky Upper West Side apartment building.  

“B Side Pizza,” he announced loudly, though the apartment owner should have been aware of who he was.  The imposing doorman in the lobby had called up to warn them.

The muffled sound of high-pitched shrieking, which then quickly changed to an ear-splitting loud high-pitched shrieking, assailed Blaine once the door was opened.  Behind the other side of the door was a very exhausted-looking but ridiculously handsome man.  His chestnut hair fell heavily over one eyebrow, apparently fallen out of some formerly impressive style that Blaine could kind of see the echos of.  His clothes seemed on trend but were very rumpled, and Blaine thought he could spy a small handprint in neon green paint that grazed the right hip of some extremely tight skinny jeans.  A smudge of the same paint was also on his chin.  He doubted the man was even aware.

Blaine was in trouble.  

One look at this man and Blaine was positive that he was in love.

“Thank god,” the disheveled angel said when he saw Blaine.  “Pizza is here!” he yelled over his shoulder.

“Pizza!”  A group of younger voices screamed in excitement.  Apparently, the prospect of food was enough to stop the rest of the caterwauling.

The man ushered Blaine into a lavish apartment, directing  Blaine towards a kitchen that could have been plucked right out of Architectural Digest.  It was gorgeous to look at (not unlike the homeowner), but Blaine doubted it ever had any use.

“You can put everything out here.” The man waved his hand at a long marble-covered counter. Blaine nodded and began unpacking his delivery tote as he watched the man dash out into another part of the apartment and shout: 

“Barbra!”

“Joan!”

“Streisand!”

“Yes, Uncle Kurt?” A trio of childish voices replied in a sing-song fashion.

Kurt sighed loudly. “Can you please clean up your mess, wash your hands, and come sit down to dinner. . .please?” the desperation in Kurt’s voice was so very clear.

“That’s two pleases, Uncle Kurt.” 

“That’s me asking really, really, really nicely, Streisand.“ Kurt said back, a forced smile on his face, his voice sounding strained.  “I ordered dinner from your favorite place, just like your parents told me to.  Let’s get going, ok?”

Kurt returned to the room, where he promptly collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs surrounding the table and dropped his head into his folded arms.  “I am never doing this again.” Blaine could sort of make out.  Kurt’s voice was very muffled.  “Or at least not without reinforcements.”

Blaine’s eyes softened.  “Babysitting duties?” he asked.

Kurt raised his head and sighed.  “This is seriously giving me doubts about my capability to be a father in the future.

Blaine laughed at Kurt’s forlorn expression.  “I’m sorry.  I felt the same way once I started watching my brother’s kids.  Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it. I promise it gets loads better.”

“Triplets.  My best friend had triplets, and I am nothing if not a pushover.” Kurt moaned.

A heartbreaking wail - or maybe it was another screech, Blaine wasn’t exactly sure, came from one of the other rooms.  Kurt’s face dropped into an expression of utter horror and disbelief as three young children came barreling into the kitchen, covered head to toe in smears of neon pink, green, and yellow paint.  One of the little girls had her hair covered in the paint, and she apparently was the one wailing the loudest.  Her eyes were screwed shut as she blindly flailed her arms, sobbing, and crashed face-first into Blaine.

“Uncle Kurt!  Streisand put paint in my hair!” The little girl continued to wail as she wrapped her arms around Blaine’s waist and buried her face into his stomach, subsequently smearing more paint all over him.

“Streisand!” Kurt cried out, whipping around to look at a not-so-apologetic 6-year-old boy who was still gripping a tube of neon pink paint.  Streisand looked almost ready to squeeze the remainder of the tube onto his other sister’s hair but second-guessed himself once he caught Kurt’s stern glare.  He dropped the tube like a hot potato and at least decided to look chagrined.

“Um, sorry, Uncle Kurt?”

Kurt continued giving the child a death glare.”That shouldn’t be a question, Streisand.  And I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

“Sorry, Barbra,” Streisand said. “Really, really sorry.  But you do look pretty with pink hair. You said you wanted pink hair.”

Barbra hiccuped loudly as she wiped her face onto Blaine’s shirt. “I like pink, but I wanted to do it myself.” Barbra then pulled back, surprised: “Wait, you’re not Uncle Kurt.”

The other little girl looked at Blaine suspiciously.  “Who are you?  Are you Uncle Kurt’s boyfriend?”

“Uncle Kurt, you’re not supposed to bring boyfriends over. Mommy said so.” Streisand said.

Kurt turned beet red, and Blaine had to smile again at the absurdity of the whole situation.  “My name is Blaine.  I’m not Uncle Kurt’s boyfriend . . .”

“Do you want to be?  Do you like Uncle Kurt?” 

‘He’s cute.  I think he should be your boyfriend, Uncle Kurt.”

“He’s ok, Uncle Kurt. But if you like him, you should make him your boyfriend.”

Kurt groaned.  “OK.  No more talking about boyfriends or my lack thereof.  This was supposed to be a nice, calm, quiet evening. ‘Why don’t we do some finger painting?’ I said.  ‘It will be fun,’ I said.  Who was I kidding?“ Kurt parroted himself from earlier in the evening and then rolled his eyes as he looked back to Blaine.  “That was a very bad idea on my part.  0/10 would not recommend.”

Blaine chuckled.  “Well, the paint is very . . it is bright and festive and fun . . and um, if you had a black light - it would glow in the dark.”

“What?!” screeched Kurt.  “Where did you get that paint, Streisand?”

“Mommy and Daddy’s room. In the table by the bed.”

“Oh god,” Kurt mumbled.  “I don’t want to think about why they have that in their bedroom.”

Blaine snickered.  “Why don’t you get the kids cleaned up? I’ll keep the food warm in the oven for you.” he tossed Kurt a charming smile.  “Consider it an extra perk of the delivery process.”

“Thank you so, so much. “ Kurt gasped as he began dragging Streisand and Joan out of the kitchen by their arms.  “Barbra, come on.  Leave Mr. Blaine alone, and let’s get this paint out of your hair.”

Barbra followed reluctantly.  “Will you still be here when we come back?” she asked Blaine.

Blaine knew what he wanted to say, but he hated to intrude on their little evening.

“I don’t know.  I think it depends on your Uncle Kurt.” Blaine confessed.

“Uncle Kurt, pleeeeeeeeease can Mr. Blaine stay?” Barbra whined.

“Yeah, can he? Uncle Kurt, can he?” Joan chimed in.

“Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay.” Streisand began to chant loudly.

Kurt rolled his eyes.  “Yes, Mr. Blaine can stay.  We have to get him out of his clothes too.”

Blaine coughed and tried to suppress another laugh.  “Well, I usually get a first date before that. . .”

 Kurt sputtered and blushed again.  Blaine was beginning to find it totally adorable.   “I meant to change clothes,” Kurt tried to explain.  “Because paint . . and . . there’s a washer and dryer in the apartment . . oh and fuck  … I’m just going to go now before I say something else stupid.”

As Kurt pulled the two kids he had in hand down the hallway towards the bathroom, he could hear: “Ooooooh … you said a bad word, Uncle Kurt.”

A ton of giggling.

And then a small pink-haired covered face popped back into the kitchen doorway.

“So you’ll stay?” Barbra asked excitedly.

“I’ll stay. I promise.” Blaine told her.

Barbra squealed in joy and ran back down the hallway.

Oh yeah, Blaine was in so much trouble now.

*****

NOTE: If you haven't figured out yet, yes, these are Rachel's triplets😂

If anyone else wants to play - AU+Trope+Prompt Game.

[black-cat-charm]

Streamer Au

"JACK, YOU FUCKIN WHORE" Merida shouted, Jack cackling from her screen. He ran off after killing her and taking all her loot, Minecraft of course. "I DIDN'T HAVE MY SPAWN POINT SET, YA DAMN RAT" Jack shrugged and looked at her through their Discord video call. "Sucks to suck I guess" he grinned as Hiccup walked back into his room, appearing in everyone's camera. "Guys look at what I found" he sat down again with a smile, a green frog hat on his head. Rapunzel paused from decorating her house and smiled. "When did you get that?" Hiccup grinned, showing off his familiar tooth gap as he put his headphones back on. "When I visited Jack in Pennsylvania, I kinda lost it after I moved out of my dad's house though" Merida checked the time. While it was 1:18pm for Jack, it was 7:18pm for her and Hiccup and 6:18pm for Rapunzel, so she knew they wouldn't be on for much longer. "Hiccup, tell ya fuckin boyfriend to give me my shit back!" She quickly spat out before she got distracted, Jack flipping her off playfully. Hiccup rolled his eyes and smiled, looking at Jack on their call. "Jack, stop being a dick" "nope! she can stop being a puss and come get it herself" he grinned and laughed as he saw merida's cheeks slightly redden with anger. "Jack you damn asshole, just wait till I get to American!" Rapunzel laughed lightly, putting her face in her hands, the half of her blonde hair that wasnt shaven short falling beside her face before she lifted her head slowly. "Why is everyone suddenly some kind of genital?!" Merida couldn't help but smile a bit. "We're speed running our twitch bans!" she joked, Jack leaning back in his seat as he laughed. Before promptly falling back with a small scream and his headphones falling off his head, along with unplugging from his computer. The group, especially Merida, bursted out in laughter, Hiccup hiding his face in his hands to hide his laughter. "Are- are you okay?!" He asked between laughs, watching Jack slowly get up, laughing at his own mistake. He nodded and leaned on his desk for a second before lifting his chair back up. "I'm fine, I'm fine!" he listened to his dad, North, hit the roof/second story floor as a way to tell Jack he needed to quiet down. Jack took a deep breath and sat down again, fixing his headphones. "Im blaming Merida for that" he teased, Merida laughing and throwing her hands up as she looked around in confusion. "MEE? Punzie brought up genitals, Snowflake!" Jack took a breath to keep himself from laughing as he held up a finger to the screen. "Only Hiccup is allowed to call me that, he is my exception to that damn nickname!" Hiccup smiled proudly while his and Jack's chats have the usual 'awes' and what not. Merida rolled her eyes playfully. "Gay ass mother fuckers" as she took a sip of her water, Hiccup chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "Your girlfriend is literally in this call?" Merida paused for a second and looked at her screen. "ShhhhhhUT the fuck up" She smiled at him before resuming her game as Hiccup laughed in confusion. "Rapunzel, your girlfriend is a bully" Rapunzel laughed lightly and hummed as she decorated her house with flowers. "I know, but I love herrr" Similarly to Jack and Hiccup's chats, the girls' chats also filled with 'awes' and compliments on how cute the two where together. The gaming and goofing around went on for another two hours before Hiccup, Rapunzel, and Merida all said goodbye so they could eat dinner and go to bed, leaving Jack to stream for another hour before ending his own stream. He texted his friends goodnight since he knew they were laying down by then before heading downstairs for lunch. They made the timezones work, even if it was just as chaotic as their friendship.

[latenightgasstationwalk]

Staving off a tide of violent urges as I process the various horrors I saw today. This job is becoming actually bad for my brain. Today I went to an apartment complex that I’ve already bitched about a few times, but today was my breaking point lol I was lead into the apartment by this Maintainance man, who promptly took off the second he knocked on the tenants door, they came to the door abs I couldn’t even process what I was seeing when the door swung open. One bedroom apartment, 5 people on the floor wrapped up in blankets and literal crack smoke in the air. A windowsill is stacked high with picked clean chicken bones? Roaches everywhere. as soon as I walked in one of the people in the apartment went up to this girl who was completely still on the couch and started violent shaking her screaming “WAKE UP HEY WAKE UP THERES PEOPLE HERE” and she was 110% unresponsive. The windows had been broken for about a year and just had a board put over them….on the inside. Here’s a fun fact: When you break a window and board it up from the inside, all of mother natures mighty feats of degradation of man made materials will ruin your sashes and window frame forever! At least that’s what happen when you leave busted windows up for a FUCKING YEAR WITH NOTHIN TO PROTECT THEM BOARDING THEM UP FROM THE INSIDE MAKES 0 SENSE

Just a week before when I went to measure the windows The aforementioned maintenance man insisted I measure these windows from the outside, because he “didn’t wana take thee boards down” so I was like “uh ok” I really didn’t see a problem at the time. So he very clearly didn’t want me to see the inside prior, for obvious reasons, so he had me do it from the outside so I’d show up and be blind sided. That was my working theory when this happened initially. Come to find out, my co-worker / best buddy already went and measured these 7 months ago and told them they were beyond repair and glass replacement wouldn’t even work at this point. So this guy Fucking knew what he was doing the entire time.

So when I got back to the shop and informed my boss of what happened she called and said she didn’t want to put her technicians in any danger so we wouldn’t be returning. This Fucking maintenance man told her that he was in there the whole time. Like I wish I took a picture of this mother fucker when I came outside of that actual nightmare, he was sitting on a picnic table smoking a cigarette, this guy bailed on me as fast as he could and went out for a lil smoke break while I tried by best to avoid any stray needles that may have found their way onto the carpet. Then tells my boss on the phone that he was in there with me lololololol sublime excellent wonderful amazing im this close to turning one of these mother fuckers into an example it’s not even funny.

Either way, my boss said she’s going to try to get permission from the big big bosses (we’re a small company owned by a multi-billion dollar company) and she said even if we do go back in the future we’re going to have ground rules that these maintenance blockheads have to follow the second they don’t were Fucking splitting.

Like I just can’t do this anymore, one of my clients at this job is a housing assistance program that provides housing for addicts and that’s like my main daily thing. And like I’m not looking down on anyone in that kind of position, I have addicts in my life and it’s terrible and sad, but I can’t help but not feel safe. Especially when the extent that the people who are supposed to be coordinating this Shit for me do is call me and warn me about the bad stuff lol I’m not accusing anyone of trying to steal my tools, but I’ve been told probably 10000 Fucking times by the same guy “not to leave any expensive tools around because the people in this unit have already stolen from several contractors” it’s like dude what the Fuck. I make $19 an hour I don’t get paid enough to fight off the most desperate people alive.

And this keeps happening every Fucking day because they’re putting me in charge of all the glazing jobs that the more senior glazer doesn’t want anymore lol so this is just my life for probably the next couple years. Trying not to get killed for the $10,000 worth of tools in my van or just the van in general. Like it’s really Fucking dumb. I’m sorry if I sound insensitive to the struggle of the people in these situations but I promise you anyone in my position would be incredibly frustrated and generally unhappy lol

Thanks for reading

[colleenmurphy]

I'm a rolling thunder, pouring rain I'm coming on like a hurricane My lightning's flashing across the sky

Mary almost swore to herself that she'd just turn around and go home. It wasn't worth the fight. Then she'd come to her senses and think of Libby's face bruising deeper before she dropped her over to Harvey's. The man was a life saver, she made a mental note to bake him the biggest batch of brownies he'd ever seen when she got back home. Right now though, she had a few things to take care of. The tidy little ranch style home looked picture perfect to her but she knew that in Tracy's eyes it could use something more. Just to out do the neighbors. Flicking off her headlights she set to work.

'No time for dickerin', kiddo.'

She could hear her father's voice in her head. Snuffing out her menthol 100 she stashed the cigarette butt in the pocket of her jeans. Leaning over and reaching into the glovebox she spied a roll of dimes she often ended saving for emergency money in case she needed gas or smokes but tonight they were taking on a different role. Headlights up ahead caught her attention as she saw a car park and pull up two houses up the street.

'Just the neighbor.'

Walking up the stone walk way and onto the small front porch Mary steeled herself and knocked on the door. Gripping the roll of dimes tighter she felt her jaw start to tick. The one thing that centered her was picturing Libby without a bruised face. A scuffle and thud broke her from her thoughts.

"I. Expect. Dinner. When. I. Get. Home. Bitch."

It took Mary all but two seconds to realize just what was going on behind Tracy's front door. It also took the same amount of time to open in and see just who it was.

Frank Flannery loomed over a cowering and bleeding Tracy who was too terrified to even scream. Her daughters didn't seem to be anywhere near them so Mary took matters into her own hands and launched herself at his back clawing at his eyes and head. A roar of animalistic anger came from Frank as he finally realized that his ex wife was rescuing his newest punching bag. Tracy was looking at Mary as if she were some sort of avenging angel.

"RUN!"

Was all Mary could yell to her before Tracy took off down a hallway and slammed a door. The soft low shrieks of furniture being moved as a barricade brought something back to Mary. Their first year as man and wife Mary spent many a night locked away in the bedroom with a second hand dresser pushed against the door when Frank was 'working late' ( drinking ) only to have him come home and beat the daylights out of her. It was a split second of silence and then nothing but screams. Frank's. No words just pain and expletives that surely were waking up the tiny little neighborhood of Briar Street. All Mary could see was red. Literally.

"YOU BIT MY FUCKIN' EAR OFF!"

One look in the gilded hall mirror was all it took. There she stood wild eyed and wild haired with her ex-husband's right earlobe hanging from her mouth. For a split second she thought she looked very much like Cornelius with a field mouse hanging from his mouth. She thought for a second that she might break into hysterical laughter but instead promptly threw up onto her exes's shoes and the debris of the fight she'd walked in on.

"I'm gonna KILL YOU!"

He attempted to charge her like a bull would all head down aiming for her stomach to knock her off her feet. All she simply had to do was step out of the way and watch his form smash through front door's glass and fall face first down onto the porch. Frank was left sprawled put and groaning bleeding like a stuck pig. Stepping out onto the front porch and placing her foot onto his upper back he moaned in pain. Bending down she picked his head up bending his back at a highly uncomfortable but non lethal angle.

"Here's what you're going to do. You're going to get up, you're going to let me patch you up with whatever Tracy's got laying around and you're going to leave and go as far away as all that money you've got will take you because if you don't I will kill you. Do you understand me?"

No reply. Picking up his head she gave a firm swift smack of his face into the paver stone.

"I. Can't. Hear. You."

Each word punctuated by a bash of his face into the pavement stone.

" O.kk...! Jesus...M-Mary. Ok!"

Yanking him to his feet she went about getting Tracy's help doing impromptu nursing.

"I..I don't have a first aid kit or anything like that for this."

Mary racked her brain for a second.

"Got a knife?"

Frank's eyes bugged as he watched his ex wife move with measured efficiency that only her nursing background could provide.

"Can you just gimme my ear back? I'll go to the hospital and then I'll leave I swear!"

"You need this wooden spoon for anything, Tracy?"

"N-no."

Shoving the wooden spoon handle across to her ex.

"Bite down on this, fuck head."

The white hot knife touched the spot where his earlobe once was and Frank lost all thought as his world went black.

"Is he ok?"

"I don't care. I'll load him into his car and slap him a little his ass can hit the road."

"I...I don't know what to say, Mary.."

"Nothing. I'm just little miss Good Sam of the evening."

"T-Thank you..."

"You're welcome, oh, if your girls ever lay a finger or say one nasty thing to my Libby I'll be back, Tracy."

"I'll talk to them. I swear."

[santaclausdeadindian]

"I never saw anyone murdering people screaming Christ is king!"

ok, so obvious first, you think she was alive during the Spanish Civil War?

Second, mean sure, the Franco regime was heavily leaning on the catholic church and yes, it was a very bloody conflict (would not say incredibly violent, or even extraordinarily violent, but that is besides the point), but first of all, it was a 99.99 catholic country, of course there would be stuff like that, but it was way more anti-socialist/communist, than anything else, not an interreligious conflict, like what muslims do all the time. So it is kinda stretches credulity, to say the falangists were deus vulting all over the place. Possibly against communists and other anti-clerical elements, but that would probably be it. It was not a secular conflict.

Third, this fucking bullshit:

Is Islamic terrorism more prevalent currently? Yes.

It was always like that. It is an extremely violent, aggressive, oppressive death-cult. It does push for violent measures on every other page. It sentences you even its followers to death over minor infractions, but it is horrifyingly brutal against all outsiders. Just fucking think for a second, why do you think muslims are allowed to have up to 4 wives? How the fuck do you think that works out, mathematically? They were from the get go incentivised and commanded to inflict violence on everyone else, to take women as (sex)slaves and to enslave or kill everyone else. It is also orders them to kill apostates, so no leaving it, to kill anyone who questions the lying, hypocrite paedo warlord's words, so no reforming it either. There are no other prophets to await for, he was the last. It is a death-cult by any definition and it fucking shows. do look up the death toll of the conquest and subjugation of India, there is no fucking comparison to any other religion, the Mongol Wars were less bloody for fucks sake!

It is so fucking tiring to having to keep telling people to just please look into the history and the very scripts of it.

Fourth, this other bullshit I am sick of.

Poorer countries with less education tend to be more violently religious.

Fuck off all the way to home with that!

After the Eastern Bloc collapsed, along with the shitty command economies, us here in the east fell into poverty so terrible, westerners have to travel to India or Africa to see shit like that. Guess what we did not became? Extremely violent. This poverty equals violence, religious or not, is an entirely western retardation, go and check out Nepal if you doubt me! There are plenty of poor as shit countries that have a fraction of the violence going on compared to some of the richest ones.

It is not in every culture, but it is in every single islamic country's, because islam replaced the cultures it conquered, there is merely regional variations of the same horrid medieval shit. You cannot name a single muslim country that doesn't have some seriously fucked up shit going on, because there isn't any.

The azeris got super rich on their oil and gas wealth, which they promptly invested into their military and now they are using it to invade and ethnically cleanse armenians from their lands, because oh, it was ours, sure, problem is, ANYWHERE muslims are, becomes part of the "ummah", the land of the muslims and they believe all lands will become ummah eventually because it is a supremacist cult hellbent on literal, actual world domination, nazi style.

No fucking way LMFAO

[asshlyyyy]

Pregnancy (Elvis Headcanons)

Descriptions: Headcanons for how a relatively young Elvis would react to his significant other being pregnant with his child.

Author’s Note: I have nothing finished, so enjoy these headcanons that I just randomly wrote up. I’m hoping to have a one shot or even just a new chapter tomorrow. I am working on so many things at once... You have no idea. Also please... ELVIS IS SO CUTE LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT MY BOY.

Note: ALL MY ELVIS WORK CAN BE IMAGINED WITH ELVIS OR AUSTIN!ELVIS

Warnings: Bad spelling or even some grammatical errors

Masterlist

My Requests are opened

When you told Elvis you were pregnant he didn't know how to feel

He was obviously really scared

You two were very young...

You were only twenty and Elvis was Twenty-four

You remember the look in his eyes when the words fell off your tongue

He fell down on the couch and just froze

You didn't blame him, you didn't even know how to feel

It would take a couple of days before it really hit Elvis, and in a good way.

He would wake up and would be all over your stomach

He would want to hold onto it, rub it, talk to it, kiss it, everything really

It's because of his love for your unborn baby that makes you excited

He’s talking to your stomach at every moment he can

“I don’t think they have ears just yet, Elvis.”

“I don’ want to risk it, they need to know I’m always here for ‘em.”

When he has to leave for your he’s a nervous wreck

He’ll be calling you every free second he had

Checking on you and the baby

Talking to the baby through the phone

It made your heart melt by how much Elvis already loved his child

He was there for every appointment, and he made sure of it.

If he happened to be on tour he made sure to fly back just to be there.

You called him crazy, but he didn’t care, he was with the ones he loved

You could only imagine his reaction when he found out you were having twins

He lost his absolute mind

He picked you up and spun you around

He wouldn't stop talking about it the whole way home

When he did get home, he would tell everyone and talk their ear off

Everyone would be way over it, having to listen to Elvis constantly talk about his two kids on the way

He would try to keep you safe at all times

Wouldn't let you do anything that could potently harm you or the babies

Which does indeed include putting on your shoes

If Elvis saw you trying to even pick up your shoe... it was over for you

He would promptly yell but then would go all soft and whine

"It's not safe for the baby, darlin',"

"I'm literally putting on shoes..."

"So? What if you end up squeezing them to death?!"

"That's not- That's not how that works."

He would make sure you weren't around people who smoked or even drank

He would also make sure you were only eating healthy foods, no junk food, no... absolutely nothing that would be unhealthy for the babies

When you guys were putting together the nursery... the man didn't even let you in the room

Even when you tried to sneak in to do some work... Elvis would take you right back out

It got frustrating at some points, but your heart fluttered from how much Elvis cared

It didn't shock you too much... Elvis loved you and wanted to protect you and his babies at all costs

When it was time... oh boy

Elvis happened to be doing a concert in your guys' hometown

He immediately leave the stage with no explanation, to go be there with you

He would definitely make it up to everyone by rescheduling and giving them some free signed shirts, but goddamn it! HIS KIDS WERE ON THE WAY

He would be freaking out in the hospital room

He would be screaming, crying, just all over the place

"I should be freaking out,"

"Then why aren't you?????!!!"

"Elvis honey... you freak out enough for both of us."

You two had a very healthy baby boy and girl

You already knew that your little girl was going to be daddy's girl

Beaux and Avani Presley is what you two decided on

You didn't know if you were crying because of labor pains, or crying because Elvis was crying

You truly didn’t expect Elvis to act this way... but it just made you even more confident that he was going to be the best dad ever.

"They're so beautiful. They look just like you,"

"They also look like you, Elvis. They look like both of us."

He would then stick his tongue out at you.

Beaux is a definite shy kid while Avani would be much like her father

Elvis would definitely bring his kids out on stage for everyone to see

Avani would probably sing and Beaux would hide against you

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[cavinginhisfvce]

It's always so funny to me when people say Billy wouldn't be extremely dramatic over literally any scenario. They always assume he'd be stoic and disinterested, but I disagree.

Like, c'mon, have y'all seen this man? He screams Drama Queen, will bite if too excited!!

Steve would tell Billy they couldn't hangout that day because his parents need help around the house, and Billy just absolutely starts bawling his eyes out. He's not particularly hurt, he knows that Steve would rather spend the day with him, but the thought of not seeing Steve for 24 hours has Billy's bottom lip wobbling. Steve would panic, immediately throwing out suggestions to the boy, asking if he'd like to come over and help out? His parents adore Billy, because what sane person didn't fall in love with his stormy blue eyes, and sweet smiles? Billy worked so hard to be able to wear that smile, and gods, was it the most beautiful thing Steve has ever seen.

Billy would immediately stop crying at the offer, his eyes lighting up as he scrambles to crawl into Steve's lap, "do you think your mom will let me fix that fucking lamp now?" At that, Steve let out a laugh. It had been a recurring argument between his mother and boyfriend.

One morning Billy had been over, as he always was, he was making him and Steve breakfast when the front door slammed shut, the noise muffled by the various sounds of him cooking and soft music filtering out the speaker on the counter.

He hadn't heard the Harringtons come in, and had only been privy to their presence when Mr. Harrington let out a rather high pitch scream, Billy following suit with a loud shout of his own, but unlike him, Mr. Harrington had flung himself out the room, promptly running into one of Mrs. Harrington's favorite lamps, a lamp she hadn't been able to find in years.

All the yelling had Steve barreling down the stairs and skidding to a halt, "Billy, why are you yelling now?!" Billy for his part let out an indignant gasp, the spatula clutched in his hand waving wildly in the direction of Steve's mother. Because how dare he assume Billy was yelling without real reason.

He hadn't seen her, in all honesty. He rarely saw anyone around him if Billy happened to be there.

"Oh, hey mom! Where's dad?" At that question, a very guilty looking Richard Harrington took his place beside Elena, the lamp in his hands cracked down the middle, with it's wires exposed.

To say that had been an interesting meeting for Billy and Steve's parents, would be an understatement.

Since that day, Billy has tried to get Elena to let him fix it, but she was stubborn and insists she can fix the lamp on her own.

Billy knew he was was free to be emotional with Steve, he never judged him when he got worked up over virtually nothing. If Billy quite literally cried over spilled milk, Steve would scoop him into his arms and coo softly before offering to clean up the mess.

Steve has caught Billy full on sobbing while watching sad movies, I'm talking snot dripping out his nose, chest heaving as the characters he was rooting for met an untimely demise.

Steve still remembers the first time Billy dissolved into tears in front of him, it was after their third date and Steve had called Billy his Tiny Baby upon seeing the boy almost swimming in his borrowed hoodie. Obviously, Steve panicked, immediately apologizing for having upset Billy before the boy was clinging to him and sobbing into his chest.

When his tears ran dry, Billy assured Steve that he was just overwhelmed by the name, but it wasn't a bad overwhelmed. It filled him with a warmth, he hadn't known since the day his mother turned tail and never returned.

He hadn't known what the warmth meant, but over time he learned it was a good feeling. One he would always lean into so long as Steve was there to hold him up.

Soon enough, Steve was being bombarded with a different, softer side to his boyfriend. Each time Billy cried with no shame in front of Steve, or he giggled over some mundane thing, Steve knew another wall had been knocked down and he was that much closer to knowing Billy on a level nobody had never been allowed before.

[lunargeist]

Grian felt sick. Nauseous didn't quite cover it, not completely. He felt shaky and felt the sweat on the back of his neck, causing his hair to stick to him as if he had a fever. Like the idiot he was, he had accidentally wiped some sweat from his brow away using the back of his hand. He felt the mixture of (Scar's and his own) blood and (Scar's and his own) sweat drip into his right eye, partly blinding him in that eye for now. He was still panting and he wasn't sure how long it had been since Scar had stopped. All Grian knew was that all he could hear was his own breath and a sort of dull ringing that he knew was in his head.

The sand had been digging into his knees for what really could have been either hours or minutes. Regardless, they were what brought him back to his own skin. Grian sat back on his heels, giving his screaming knees some relief as he tilted his head up to blink is one good eye up at the midday sky.

It took only a few more moments before the tinnitus from being too close to too many tnt explosions became more real, rising in pitch before teetering off into a range he wasn't capable of hearing (but still felt in his teeth). Grian lowered his head to look at Her.

"You did so well." The Watcher clapped Her hands and it was impossible to miss the true pride in Her voice. "You won, sunrise!"

Grian gritted his teeth agaisnt the imperceptible buzzing and rocked forward onto his knees again to get up from the unnaturally red sand. "What do you want?"

"To congratulate you, of course!" She cooed slightly. "Winning is no small feat! Especially for your first time! I couldn't be more proud, little champion."

Something about that nickname felt... A part of him preened at praise and a diffrent part recoiled. He had the blood of his ally on his hands, literally. "Don't call me that."

She tilted Her head to the side. "Why not? You have well earned it, Grian."

"I haven't." He spat at the Watcher, walking passed Her. He didnt look at Her but could see out of the corner of his eye that She turned to trail behind him.

"Of course you have, sunrise. What would you call this then?"

"Needless violence. I am not sure why I let you talk me into this." Grian bite out. He blinked and had to stop short in his tracks to stop himself from running head first into the Watcher. He glared up at Her.

"Are you full?"

Grian spluttered. "I- what?"

She leaned down, peering from under Her hood to Look at him, eyes as countless as the stars blinked back at him. She repeated the question. "Are. You. Full? Or are you still Hungry?"

"That was the point of this?" Grian asked, unable to help but sound a little aghast. "To, what? Try and make me feed?"

"Did it work?"

That was party the problem. It had worked and he hadn't even realised that the ache that lingered behind his Eyes like a permanent migraine had dissipated. The nausea came back in full force. She was Watching him and nodded when She saw the answer to Her question without him even having to answer. The Watcher pulled back out of his space. "Good. Good. You deserve it."

"Fuck off." He muttered, pushing past Her to head towards the cliff. "I'm finishing this."

"For now," She called out behind him.

Grian whipped back around. "What?"

She smiled, the grin ever so slightly too wide. "For now. You can finish this chapter, but now you've Eaten. Let us see how long till you come back for another helping."

He promptly turned his back to Her, bile in his throat as he stomped away, more desperate this time. And, like She always did, the Watcher let him go.

the watcher calls grian her little champion after he wins his first game

[lunaastoir]

fluff/relationships w the liyue crew

characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli

ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(

all x a gn! reader 

my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit

an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

xiao

ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor

he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm

but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)

you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)

so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???

but,,,he’s so sOFT for you

if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat

but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you

he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu

while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp

you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it

even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd

so so so cute very soft for him

i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands 

the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better 

after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor 

personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)

mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever 

it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal 

he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh 

he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head 

you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard  

these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing 

he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap

all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it 

this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3

childe

god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager 

there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???

is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)

i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)

loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking 

domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3 

absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public  

he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy 

you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there 

he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️

he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie 

he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain 

speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head

well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite 

it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does) 

his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart 

not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀

it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute 

bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage 

i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”

so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some

LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS 

he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough 

he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands 

it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while 

all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏

beidou

you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)

god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis 

anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie 

not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary 

she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land 

it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,) 

when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored 

she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea 

she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise

definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn 

she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself 

miss girl is an AMAZING cook 

i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all 

whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out 

pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest 

brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical 

she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to 

definitely the type to surprise you when she docks 

i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)

will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue 

for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander

she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES 

they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you 

yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something 

“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky

kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv

anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for 

zhongli

ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on 

this man,,, THIS MAN 

everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful 

in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping

holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it

secretly loves it when you fuss over him 

he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)

not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse 

but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound

“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”

you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″ 

when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him? 

he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest 

he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute 

in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up

he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg 

domesticity go brrrr

if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together 

he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck 

his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing

you’ve broken him 

thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day 

he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3 

scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!! 

the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)

recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met 

zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon 

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3