#I literally don't have the time bc of uni and :((( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

welcometogrouchland · 4 months

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(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.

Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!

#dc comics #dc #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #jason todd #(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl #batgirls #mine #< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni #oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol #but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that #-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even #it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now #I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW #uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation #also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do #godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats #but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason #imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven #he can't take this shit #oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)

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purpurussy · 1 month

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#tw suicide #idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT #i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone #and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess #but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm #but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing #hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse #to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house #and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like #to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age #but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me #also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently #tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me #i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship #but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation #i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself #and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons #most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks #idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear #this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly #sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point #and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have #the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona #so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem #anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope

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collectate · 2 months

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#minor health rant ok i'm sorry it's just. i've been debilitatingly ill on and off for this entire last year and it hasn't once let up #and i've had to deal with uni and grades and assignments and adjusting to living on my own for the first time #all while having an autoimmune disease that went undiagnosed for the first six months i was at uni.#and i've only just started to process how difficult this last year really was bc when i was in the thick of it #i just told myself i had to keep going. i had to get through it. and i DID i got through this entire year #and i did my exams and my labs and my assignments and i joined a sports club and a choir #and i balanced all of these things whilst i was actively iron deficient and malnourished and recovering from pneumonia #not to mention the literal Chronic Fatigue and Malnutrition Disease i didn't even know i HAD #AND YET. AND. YET. my family has turned this into a joke #i'm not even allowed to be that upset about it. they still expect great things from me bc that is who i am that is who i have ALWAYS been #and i don't know who i am anymore!! i don't know what i can do!! i spent ten months so sick i could barely function and i still DID IT.#it's no good telling me they're proud of how resilient i am!!! i don't want to have to be resilient i want to be WELL #i don't want to be told how strong i am i want the simple comfort of being allowed to REST #i don't know how many more times i have to remind them that i have an actual CHRONIC INCURABLE DISEASE before they listen to me #ANYWAY. complaining over lolol i'm sure i'll be fine!! haha #it's not like i'm ever NOT fine lmaoo #ok everyone back to scheduled posting. realness over !!#🙏🙏

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 1 year

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feeling weird mixed feelings atm and I can't really logic them away, ig? on the one hand I'm completely apathetic about it. on the other hand there's a part of me that's absolutely horrified that I could do something like that. the fact that it's still a consistent low-level pain the whole time also doesn't help. anyway those kinds of thoughts are then making me want to harm again to cope with them but also a) it's manageable and b) I currently have a deep horror of self-inflicted pain after the last few days apparently.

#more specific blatherings in the tags so im gonna get them below the read more in case anyone doesn't want to read it #tw sh #because yes this is about the last few days and im gonna add a few more words to get the rest below the read more #the fact that while they aren't as deep as i've ever gone before they are unquestionably in volume far exceeding any #before. not that i count at the time or anything but there are at least sixty new cuts from the last week so no wonder it's painful #but yeah it's just. an interesting emotional feeling once the pressure that triggered them is gone #i don't know i don't understand myself really #glad i have a psych appointment monday really #if i didn't have one booked i'd probably be booking one about now #also bothered by how visible the ones on my wrist are going to be.#hopefully the redness will go away soon bc i don't think they're quite healed yet #teatree oil is helping tho so hopefully they won't be TOO obvious #the location means that yeah they will be visible but hopefully not too too much #and after all i have only for-sure hit the fat layer twice. maybe a few other times. there are a couple taking ages to heal atm #so they might've idk. and i haven't gone any deeper than that #honestly with the wrist ones the fact is that it was blunt and i couldn't #sharpen it at hte time. perhaps tmi but yeah this may have saved my life and or my hand function #but i might be overstating it. anyway apparently that was three weeks and one day ago?? wow #guys that entire day i was convinced i wasn't going to live to see the morning. the WHOLE DAY #i literally have a commie newspaper on my desk currently because they tried selling it at uni and i was so existential i was just like.#'what is life. what is money. who cares' and bought it. see this is the funny story i referred to. i can elaborate #personal #puddleglum hours #tw suicide

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cherrygarden · 6 months

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#i hate being more financially responsible than my parents #I HATE IT #like i've lived through them obsessing over bills and having our services cut many many times and risk our shit being taken from us #and have to listen to my dad making phone calls begging for money from friends and how humilliating that is #and now we're doing a little better but i was raised with that stress and that just doesnt go away #and i see them spend money on shit we don't need and that would be fine if we didn't still have many debts and health issues we keep postpo #postponing bc we don't have money #and since my exchange i've been feeling so guilty about how much money it cost them #and ive talked to them about it when i was applying to give them the chance to tell me no and reconsider #and during it bc i felt like the worst person alive for needing to eat #and after bc i put them in so much debt with my uni that i can't enroll for this semester #and so much shit has happened and ive been feeling guilty and a waste of money and space and most of the time i feel like a shell of myself #and they see it but they dont know what to do because instead of comforting me ever they just put me in a psychologist's office #and just now my mom smiled at me and told me that since they weren't able to give me any presents last year they were talking #and wanted to buy me tickets for lollapalooza this weekend #and i want to go so badly and i entered so many giveaways and stuff but i didnt win so i was also sad about that #but i just looked at her like 😐 because we are definitely not in a financial situation to be spending money like that #like i appreciate the gesture but i've taken enough from them and i already feel guilty #i told her i would feel guilty and wouldn't enjoy it bc they literally don't have the money #and she said ''oh we just can't pay the full amount that we owe right now but we have enough''#???? then put the money on a savings account????? not spend it because you have '''extra'''#which you dont even have!!!!! i told her to prioritise our health bc we all have to get blood work done and exams and multiple doctors and #our general bills!!! like there's more important things that would put me more at ease than a concert which yes would have made me happy #but not like this and not when it's a present out of guilt and inability to know me #and i was crying and she was sad at my reaction and i had to apologise for not accepting it and being like this #literally told her ''i also wish i wasnt like this'' and she said nothing #so that was a fun start to my day :)))))))))#i hate that she thought it was a good idea and i hate that i had to say no #at least i didn't say any of the hurtful things that went through my head so i'll take it as a win #it sucks that we both feel guilty over the uni situation becuase we're both equally at fault

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witchwhaat · 8 months

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#maybe i'm dramatic but i'll literally never forgive my uni for making me stay with that thesis supervisor :)))))#the whole process of choosing a supervisor was a circus and then when i tried to change it i wasn't aprobed for some stupid petty reasons #that don't even concern me #and now i'm stuck with a supervisor who i don't like can't communicate with and i'm 100x times more stressed bc of that #and i have to work in a way that's uncomfortable to me and which does NOT work for me i hate it here #like normally i would have already stopped wiriting hours ago but i can't :'))) bc i need to write more :')))#which surely is such a good idea to write some bullshit just so i hit a words count he wants :')))))#*it wasn't approved #arghhhhh #it would've been so much better for me if i just ended up with the supervisior i wanted!#my supervisor is not even interested in the topic i chose and he doesn't know anything about it! the supervisor i wanted to choose does!#sorry i'm just very frustrated with how it all turned out and i just want to go to sleep but i still have like at least 2 oages to write #agnes talking

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yohankang · 2 years

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i’m so tired and angry i can’t believe it’s just the beginning....

#i cried 3 times since yesterday #my first exam is in 2 days #and the last one.. in a month.#it's not even about the exams tbh #but spending HALF of my monthly pay on train tickets and one (1) night at a hotel was a bit too much for me lol #and i had to make many calls to friends/family to find a place i could stay at #bc train tickets are so expensive i literally can't afford staying at the hotel too #and my friends were so helpful and lovely #but first i wanted to ask my uncle.. bc yk. close family. that guy is even my godfather. and he treated me like shit lmaoo i got so angry #i cried at work bc i couldn't believe this #like we know each other well i know he's not the kindest person. but his reaction?? honestly that might be the last time i talked to him #sorry for being so vague i don't have the energy to tell you what happened sdfghjs #but anyway. can you believe i'm literally less stressed abt the actual exams than i am about the commute/accomodation?#but ngl i am also stressed abt the exams. a bit. mostly because some of our professors still haven't sent us the materials for exams #and one of them in on sunday lmaooo this is fine i can memorize everything in one evening. right?#also bc my previous uni experiences literally traumatized me. but it's gonna be FINE i'm gonna be FINE i just need to. focus #i'm taking a day off tomorrow and i hope it will help me calm down #k.txt #sorry for losing my mind on main <3 if you've read this far i'm sending you a kiss <3

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mishkakagehishka · 2 years

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I also again dreamt that i was pregnant which was uhm stressful considering i had no idea who the father was. I guess that's what happens when you work on a text about teen pregnancy shortly before going to bed

#altho if i were to get pregnant now i'd manage to give birth as a non-teen. if i got the full 9mo anyway #well. in my dream for some reason i didn't wanna tell my parents and i was hiding it from them #which was interesting bc if there's one thing my mother has been encouraging since i was like 16 #it's ''you're at the right age to think ab having a child''#as in ma'am sent me off to uni and said ''if you get pregnant we'll help you with the baby so don't put it off just bc of uni if you feel #like it's the right time'' and. my most funniest interaction with her - ''you don't even have to stay with the father ditch him if you #don't like him enough to marry him'' this is the woman to whom i literally said i have no plans on sleeping with anyone unless i am 100%#certain marriage is happening . and the woman who responded to that with ''yeah you'll change your mind'' I WAS FOURTEEN #and i haven't for the record not even for religious reasons as much as bc i'm a hypochondriac and i have a hard time relaxing around other #people to the point that it's like. the only i'd be relaxed enough to sleep with someone is if we're close enough that marriage is alrd on #the table. so it's less waiting until marriage and more ''waiting until i'd trust this person with my life''

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aw-bean-s · 1 year

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My friend came back from uni for a bit so we had lunch and she's been struggling a bit w body image and I was trying to be a supportive friend without telling her how many crisis I've had over her being hot

#Like. Issa problem.#Litcherally caught myself thinking 'she should date women bc she's like catnip to lesbians'#She's tanky and short and plays football and has sparkly dark brown eyes and she takes care of her hair so it's super soft and smells nice #She's just?? Stupid hot??? In like the carabiner on the belt loop kinda way but also in the oh my god her smile way #And ALSO in the 'I saw her wearing a dress one time and could not get over how good she looked' way #She also has all of these funky earrings to the point where she packed a 1kg bag of them for uni and that wasn't even all of them #She's going to major in astronomy (has to do engineering first) so she can point out constellations and tell you cool space facts #Literally like THINK of the observatory and/or stargazing dates potential???#She can also COOK so so soooo well #This woman is a DREAM nd ppl were so mean to her in high school and all I have to say is that ladies need to take note okay #Typing this all out I realise makes me sound like I'm in love w her and. Yeah yknow what I got no comeback to that #I don't think I am but girl is a catch and so fucking hot and DOES NOT see it! Which sucks! I wish she could!#Because she is so cool and wonderful and amazing and it sucks that her self esteem has been affected by other people's bullshit!#But yeah anyway anybody want a girlfriend like I can set you up w my friend

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mirmidones · 1 year

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im gonna scream

#this is my fault. it's my fault. i should have just shut up in the first place. but how can one shut up when #ok so this classmate/friend of mine just texted me if i could please 🥺 help her change her course this week bc she doesn't know how 🥺#when 1. why would i know either? im obviously just gonna painfully sift through the uni site and then relay the info to her 2. this week?#we literally just moved an outing up to next week bc 3 of us have an exam next week. i have an exam next week. she knows this. and 3.! this #is coming from someone who asked me how to do an exercise without reading the consegna the literal explanation to the exercise right on top #of it. like.#i need to find a gentle way to tell her to fuck off #but i feel guilty!#but i don't have the actual time to do this now!#hell

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lunarheslwt · 2 years

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#being in your 20s and out of uni is like #i don't know how to make friends??#bc there's no longer any forced proximity??#i deadass have no irl friends since i moved #and all my friends don't have time #it's so incredibly isolating #I'm seconds away from doing a google form lmao #if you see this literally pretend you didn't read any of it

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