#I like to believe that in another universe where she wasn’t my mom and we were the same age she would be my best friend

[valewritessss]

Feliz Cumpleaños Mami💗💗

[wifeofnatasharomanoff]

could i request a mob nat oneshot from that universe seeing nat as a mom to her kid? it says we have a kid and it doesn’t need to be overly fluffy or anything… just curious what this badass mob boss looks like as a mom

HAPPINESS

WARNINGS: a bit of violence, gunshots, cute family moments, brief angst, fluff

RELATIONSHIP: natasha romanoff x f!reader

a/n: lol me after not posting for months 😅

AU: Darkest Nights

You wake up to the sounds of laughter in the bedroom, turning, you notice the side beside yours on the bed is empty. Where were the noises coming from? You sat up on the bed to see Natasha on the floor, a batman action figure in her hand and a toy car in the other. Her red hair was up in a loose braid and you could barely see the front of her face properly, but the one face you did see was a baby boy. Well – not really a baby more like a toddler. Except he wasn’t turning two for another few months. His chubby, rose-tinted cheeks were puffed up and small but loud giggles erupted from him. Natasha heard rustling from the bedsheets and looked up at you to see that you were already up. “Did we wake you up, babe?” she asked, her eyes were on you but she still kept her focus on the baby, making sure he wasn’t putting anything he wasn’t supposed to in his mouth. Some toys they make for babies are too small, Alex was teething and liked chewing on his toys sometimes. 

The corners of your lips curled into a smile, “No,” you chuckled, moving your hair strands away from your face. “It’s past 10, I was bound to wake up by now.” You reassure her. “Oh, good – I mean, it’s just you looked peaceful. For once.” you narrow your eyes as you throw the blanket that was draped over your body off yourself. “And who’s fault is it that I’m never at peace?” you retorted, getting up from the bed. She winced, “sorry, krasivaya.” you laughed at the sarcasm that lied beneath her words and lightly threw a smaller pillow from the bed towards her. “Jerk.” she caught the pillow and set it next to her, “c’mere, baby.” her arms were long enough to reach up to your hips while you were folding the blankets. Alex squealed, his stubby little hands moved up and down in agreement. “See, even our son wants mommy to play with us.” Natasha said, her hands grabbed onto your hips and pulled you to the carpet on the floor. “Natasha!” you shouted, playfully shoving her hand away, as she burst out laughing, the baby didn’t know any better and laughed along with her. 

“You’re unbelievable. I hope you know that.” she smirked at what you had said before responding, “I think I’m believable enough, how else is–” you interrupt her, “whatever you’re going to say, don’t say it. I’m positive it isn’t appropriate.” Natasha’s hand rested on your shoulder, “Okay, I’m not that bad.” she paused, “maybe.” 

“Momyy!!” Alex mustered up a word, sliding his mini spiderman toy over to you. “You want mommy and mama to play with you, lovebug?” you smile, grabbing the toy and giving it back to him. He nodded. “Alright, you can be little spiderman, mama will be batman and –” you turn to Natasha, “what will I be?” you ask. “And mommy’s barbie!” she excitedly says to the boy as she hands you a barbie doll. “A happy family, aren’t we?” she cupped your face before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “I’m barbie? Seriously?” she grinned without a thought, “no, you’re prettier than barbie, baby.” 

“You’re such a sweet talker, darling.” you turned your attention back to Alex, dramatically gasping before speaking once more. “Oh my goodness, where's spiderman’s car?” the baby gasped as if he was missing a car, “oh look! There it is!” you gave the car to Natasha before Alex got the chance to grab it from you. 

“Oh, no! Batman stole your car, spiderman. Go steal it back from him!” you accused Natasha and pointed at her, immediately, Alex crawled over to her and started to lightly punch her, in a poor attempt to get his car back. Which of course, didn’t do much to her at all. “You can’t have this car, it’s mine now, spiderman!” Natasha took the car in her hand and raised it up in the air to where the boy couldn’t reach. 

The sound of glass shattering pulled both you and Natasha away from playtime. “Natasha, wh—” you heard it again, except this time you saw the window beside your nightstand break. “Get the gun under the bed and take Alex.” her voice was stern, as if she was ordering you. Your eyes widened as fear crept up your spine, “Natasha, what was that?” you heard it again, but this time there wasn’t any glass to stop the noise, it was clear that it was a gunshot. You pulled a box from under the bed and took a pistol out, grabbing Alex into your arms, you slowly stood up to not gain attention from movement in the bedroom. “Darling, I– where will we go?” unshed tears pooled in your eyes as your bottom lip quivered, “as of now, go to the bar. Look for Yelena, and she’ll know where to take you.” 

You gently touched her arm, “Are you not coming with us?” she shook her head, “it’ll cause too much commotion, they’ll know you’re with me. I’ll find you. I’ll find you both. Don’t worry, baby.” you blinked back the tears to stop them from dropping, “Nat. you said this wouldn’t happen, you promised that they weren’t going to find us… I thought we were finally getting back to our normal lives!” she pulled the both of you close, kissing your forehead, cheeks, the top of the baby’s head. “I know, I’m sorry, baby, I’ll fix this. I’m so sorry, I love you both, so much. Trust me, I’ll deal with them and we’ll come back together before you can blink, krasivaya.” Natasha kissed your lips once more, “I love you.” she wiped away your tears, “don’t die.” the smile you had faltered for a moment when you said that, knowing that there could be a possibility that for an instance something could go completely, and terribly wrong. “I won’t. C’mon, you know me better than that, baby.” you let out a dry chuckle at her trying to lighten the mood. “Go. I’ll be back.” Natasha’s protective hold was gone, you simply nodded. Another gunshot could be heard from the other side of the house, you didn’t want Alex to cry so you covered his ears. “I love you too.”

[formulauno98]

A Birthday to Remember - Part One - Toto Wolff x Reader

Originally written as an OC, inspired by an amazing request from @latte-luxe, I have rewritten this to a Reader POV, no descriptions and no use of your name. The only brief description is of a butt (you can probably guess why).

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Caution may contain spice. 🌶️🌶️🌶️

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction, no-one is married in this alt-universe.

THE MORNING

It was Saturday morning and stepping out onto your balcony at the Fairmont Monte Carlo, you swept your eyes over the spectacular view. It was a pinch yourself to check if you’re dreaming kind of view of sparkling blue waters, peppered every so often with a gleaming white yacht.

“Good morning, birthday girl.” murmured a husky, heavily accented voice from behind you. Before you even had the chance to turn around, a pair of muscular arms swooped around from behind, coming to rest on your hips, large hands gently squeezing your curves.

“Good morning to you too,” you said, turning around and leaning up to kiss your tall towel-clad Austrian companion, resting your hand on his bare chest as he pressed himself tightly against you. It was yet another pinch me I’m dreaming moment. If someone had told you this time yesterday that this was how you would be spending your Saturday morning you would have laughed and called them crazy, but sometimes life could be crazy.

THE NIGHT BEFORE

It was a sunny evening and you were standing out on the balcony with a glass of wine in your hand, gazing across the Mediterranean whilst waiting for your three best friends to get ready. As a lifelong Formula One lover, a weekend trip to Monaco had been on the cards for a while so when your friends asked where you wanted to go to celebrate your special birthday it was at the top of the list. Turning the dream into reality was another thing altogether and you still couldn’t believe that the trip had materialised. A trip had finally made it out of the group chat.

Dinner was due to be lowkey as Saturday was going to be the big night out, with dinner plans at Elsa, a Michelin-star establishment, followed by a night on the tiles at Jimmyz, a club frequented by the world of Formula One. Although you couldn’t afford to come for a race weekend, this was truly a bucket list trip and you hoped to catch a glimpse of some nice cars, the iconic track and if you were lucky maybe even a driver or two… A wild Charles Leclerc sighting in Monaco was like spotting Mickey Mouse in Disneyland.

Friday night’s restaurant of choice was Song Qi, an upscale Chinese restaurant in Larvotto that had come highly recommended. You were looking forward to seeing what made Monaco so special and couldn’t wait to hit the town.

“How long is the walk?” A voice called out from your suite.

“About five/ten minutes.” You replied, sighing, as always the mom of the group.

“Medium heels it is then,” your friend Olivia replied.

“We can always get a car,” you suggested.

“No, let’s conserve the taxi budget for tomorrow night,” Olivia said, stepping out onto the balcony to join you, “Laura and Becca are almost ready.”

“Good idea,” you replied, “You look gorgeous by the way.”

Olivia beamed with the compliment, stepping back to twirl in her pink minidress and sparkling sandals, “I try my best, although I can’t compete with you.”

You blushed, not used to the compliments. You’d chosen a simple white dress with gold sandals for the evening’s dinner, perhaps a risky move in a restaurant serving noodles but you felt fabulous. It wasn’t long before Laura and Becca also emerged, both looking as beautiful as ever. The four of you had treated yourselves to two adjoining suites and opened up the connecting door to create a mega-suite.

“Oh la la, give us a twirl,” you said, looking your elegant friend up and down as she dutifully spun around.

“Beautiful!” Now it was Laura and Becca’s turn to blush. “Ditto! Shall we get going?”

“Sounds like a plan.” you agreed, the four of you making your way off of the balcony.

——

Song Qi turned out to be an excellent choice, with the table weighed down with baskets of dim sum and bowls of noodles, crispy beef and endless wontons. The restaurant was decadent but comfortable and as you sank back into your sumptuous green velvet chair you spotted a strangely familiar face at the table across from you. He was dark-haired, handsome with chiselled features and although he was sat down, tall, as he towered above the two men he was dining with.

It took you a moment to realise that it was none other than Toto Wolff, the affable Mercedes Formula One team principal. Although you thought it was only for a moment, you must have stared for a while as he briefly met your eyes and shot you a charming smile. Smiling back like a fool, your friends whipped their heads around to see who you were smiling at, fortunately, Toto not noticing as he had returned to his plate.

“Damn girl, he’s kinda hot, in that old businessman kind of way,” said Olivia, turning back around to face you.

“Well yes…” you stuttered, “He’s also one of the team principals in Formula One.”

“Huh?” Asked your three friends blankly, not followers of the sport.

“Kind of like the equivalent of a football manager,” you explained, “Except he owns some of the team as well.”

“Fancy, well he’s pretty. You should go and talk to him.” Said Laura, all formula one facts going straight over her head.

“Oh my god, no,” you said, “I’m sure he was just being polite.”

As if on cue, Toto looked up and locked eyes with you once again, his deep brown eyes crinkling. You gulped, returning his gaze with a smile once again.

Dinner continued, with the girls chatting away as every so often you met Toto’s eyes across the crowded restaurant. He looked to be in some kind of business meeting as the two men with him were dressed smartly and looked serious while conversing with them.

It wasn’t long before dinner had been cleared and a smiling waiter emerged with a chocolate cake laden down with a sparkler and numerous candles, Olivia, Becca and Laura looking at each other mischievously before breaking into a rousing rendition of the Happy Birthday song. You felt your cheeks reddening as you realised the entire restaurant, including Toto and his business associates had joined in the song. As you blew out the candles, you once again locked eyes with Toto who was grinning away while applauding.

“You guys are the worst,” you said, half joking as you shook your head at your friends. “But that’s why I love you.”

“Aw, well we had to do something,” said Laura, “It’s not every day you have a big birthday like this and although I still don’t understand why you love your car racing so much, I’m happy that we came here.”

You smiled at your friends, appreciative of them enabling your desire to walk around the Formula One track and visit the car museum despite the fact they really weren’t interested. Just as you were musing how ironic it was that you’d even seen Toto Wolff, their waiter reappeared with a tray of drinks.

“Oh, I don’t think we ordered those,” said Olivia politely.

“Yes Madame, in fact, the gentlemen over there sent them alongside their birthday wishes.” The waiter replied.

You were floored, Toto Wolff had sent you birthday wishes. An interesting turn of events.

“Well, then that’s very nice of them,” said Olivia, as the waiter set them down, nudging you before adding, “You should go and say thank you!”

“Oh my God, yes, go!” Said Becca, egging Olivia on.

Sighing, but also buoyed by your friends’ enthusiasm, you relented, “I’m going to go but only to say thank you.”

Your three friends squealing with excitement, you took an extra sip of your drink for courage before standing up and sauntering over to where Toto and his associates sat. His interest piqued immediately as he noticed you making your way across the restaurant.

“Good evening, sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to say thank you for the drinks, it was very kind of you,” you said, a little too quickly due to nerves.

“Well, it’s not every day you celebrate a milestone like that.” Replied Toto kindly, standing up to hold out his hand to shake yours, “I’m Toto by the way, and this is Jean and Sebastian,” he gestured at the older gentlemen he was dining with.

Struck by the almost comical height difference you introduced yourself and looked up at the tall Austrian in front of you as he gripped your hand very tightly, “Nice to meet you all.”

The other gentlemen smiled politely, wishing you a happy birthday before picking their conversation back up. Toto, however, remained stood up, his eyes raking your curves. “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. It’s nice to meet you too.”

Now you really were blushing, “You’re far too kind.”

“Not at all,” he said, “I hope you do not think this forward but would you like to join me for dinner one evening?”

Once again, your eyes widened, how was this man asking you out? Pulling yourself together, you knew you had to politely decline, you were here with your friends after all, “I would love to but unfortunately I’m only here until Sunday so I’m not sure if I’ll have time.”

Toto looked disappointed but pressed further, “Well then, how about a drink later this evening?”

Trying your best to stay calm, you tried to play it cool, “I’m not sure, it’s a girl's trip and I don’t want to ditch my friends, I really would love to though. Maybe can I get your number and text you once I’ve figured out their plans?”

“Understood,” replied Toto, looking down, gazing into your eyes with an unreadable expression, “It would be my pleasure, give me your phone.”

With that, you handed your phone to the tall Austrian in front of you who deftly punched in his contact. “Thank you, I’ll check in with the girls and let you know. I’ll leave you to your dinner for now but I hope to see you later,” you said with a smile.

Toto turned to glance at his dining companions who were still deep in conversation, and dropped closer down to your ear, keeping his voice low, sending a shiver down your spine, “It’s okay, I don’t think they missed me. I hope to see you later too.”

Looking up at Toto with a smile, you replied “I’m sure they did. See you, Toto.” As you turned back towards your table you glanced back over your shoulder and saw Toto’s eyes were locked on you as he returned to his seat. He was undeniably hot and as much as you always abided by the golden rule, chicks before dicks, this was special circumstances.

Sitting back down with your friends, they immediately leaned in to get the lowdown.

“What did he say? He didn’t take his eyes off of you!” said Laura excitedly.

“He just wished me a happy birthday… and asked me out,” you said blushing.

“No way!” exclaimed your three friends in unison.

“You’re going to go right?” said Olivia, looking at you in concern.

“I’m not sure, I don’t want to ditch you all for a man but equally he’s hot as fuck and it would only be for an hour or so.”

“An hour or so?” said Becca, raising her eyebrows, “I doubt this, but you should go, make it a memorable birthday!”

You looked over once again at where Toto sat, he was a striking man, pushing all of his success to one side. “What the hell, I’ll message him now. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Your friends squealed with excitement in unison.

You grabbed her phone and nervously began typing your message to Toto.

It’s all good for tonight, we’re almost done eating so I’m free whenever you are.

You could see Toto excuse himself and take out his phone, shooting a grin from across the restaurant before looking down to type a response.

Sure enough, your phone buzzed.

Perfect, so are we. Shall I meet you outside in ten minutes?

You replied excitedly, still not believing you were texting Toto Wolff of all people. 

Sounds like a plan.

——

You were nervous but excited as you saw Toto and his associates pay their bill and head off, Toto shooting you a wink as he jostled his way out of the restaurant.

Settling their own bill, your group were close behind and as you exited the restaurant, sure enough, you saw Toto standing outside waiting, leaning casually up against a column.

Bidding your friends goodbye, you made your way towards your date for the evening. “Hi,” you said somewhat awkwardly, knowing that your friends were likely watching from where they were ordering a taxi to return them to the hotel.

“Hi,” he said, glancing down fondly, “How was your dinner?”

“So good!” you said, “How was yours?”

“It was okay, my dining companions weren’t as lovely as you but I think my evening is improving,” he said with a rakish grin.

You smiled, “You’re a charmer, Toto. Where were you thinking of heading?”

“I know a place a few streets behind, it’s not so fancy but they have an excellent selection of wine if you like it?”

Knowing that you were already a little tipsy, you were grateful that he’d suggested wine, “Sounds good to me, lead the way, Mr Wolff!”

Toto whipped his head around, “I never told you my surname.”

Feeling you’d made a huge error of judgement, you stuttered, Toto’s dark eyes intimidating you before you decided the best course of action was to fess up, “Well it took me a moment but I recognised you. Guilty as charged.”

Musing quietly, Toto’s expression softened, “So you know a little about me, tell me about yourself.”

As you made your way around the twisting streets towards the bar, you filled Toto in on your background, your blossoming career and your plans for the big birthday weekend. He was an engaged listener, asking you questions and interjecting with his own anecdotes. Certainly surprising for a man of his stature.

Soon enough you arrived at your destination, Toto taking the lead and speaking with the Maitre D’ who promptly led you to a secluded table towards the back of the bar.

Settling down on the chair opposite Toto, you were suddenly much more nervous. 

“You look nervous,” Toto said, his eyes softening.

“Well, this is not how I thought my evening was going to pan out. The ruse is up in that I recognised you so I may as well tell you that we came to Monaco because I love Formula One.” you blushed furiously as your words tangled into one.

“Relax, so you know about Formula One?” he said, reaching across the table, taking your hand in his and tracing small circles with his thumb on the back of your hand.

“Well, probably not as much as you.” you laughed, breaking the tension and gazing into his eyes.

“You’d be surprised,” said Toto shrugging with a smirk. “I just got lucky.”

——

As the evening went on, you discussed everything under the sun, the wine helping you feel less awkward and forget who you were talking to. Toto was funnier than you expected and you spent half the evening giggling at his stupid remarks. He’d regaled you with stories of his travel adventures, driving mishaps and various other anecdotes, whilst you’d filled him in with tales of your own travels and some embarrassing childhood moments. You’d even bonded over your love of all things with an engine. Time had flown by and you didn’t want the evening to end.

“Ahem.” Your conversation was suddenly interrupted by a waiter, “Monsieur, Madame, I am sorry to say that we are closing in ten minutes. Can I take one last order?”

Knowing that you were well beyond tipsy, you shook your head, looking at Toto to check if he was in agreement. Looking somewhat bleary-eyed himself he shook his head as well, “Just the bill please.”

Soon enough the cheque had been settled and you found yourself once again wandering the moonlit streets of Monaco with Toto, this time your hand firmly encased in his.

“Where do you need to go?” Toto asked kindly, “I can drop you back.”

“I’m staying at the Fairmont,” you replied.

“It’s not so far, are you happy to walk?” he asked, squeezing your hand.

“Sure, it’s just up there,” you replied gesturing at the bend in the road where the hotel was perched, “As long as you can get home okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” said Toto, a dark look in his eye. “Remind me, when do you leave again?”

“Sunday afternoon,” you said sadly, wishing you were staying for longer.

“Well, you’ll have to come back next year for the Grand Prix,” he said, a twinkle in his eye.

“Maybe if I rob a bank!” you said with a chuckle, “One day.”

“I don’t like to boast, but I might know someone who can get you in without having to resort to organised crime,” he said, laughing with a deep rumble.

“Oh really?” you said, turning to face Toto in the inky moonlight, “Is he nice?”

“Very,” said Toto, dropping your hand and placing his hands on either side of your waist, swaying slightly in his merry state.

Laughing, you stretched up to look Toto in the eye, “I’ll have to meet this guy, he sounds great.”

At that your lips met, Toto bending down to plant a soft kiss on your lips, the height difference making it slightly a challenge but one that neither of you seemed bothered by. As the kiss deepened, Toto began to run his hands down towards your perfectly rounded ass, squeezing gently as he found your curves.

Breaking apart for air, you glanced around, luckily there was no one in the empty street but you didn’t want to risk being caught making out in the street with a famous face and it being splashed across the tacky tabloids.

“Do you fancy a nightcap at mine?” you asked, looking up at Toto through your fluffy long lashes. As a rule, you never normally brought men back on a girls' trip but you decided tonight was a special circumstance. 

Toto’s eyes lit up, “Well, I have heard the view is nice.”

You laughed, grabbing Toto’s hand once again and leading him towards the corner entrance to your hotel. As you crossed the lobby you had a sudden panic that Olivia was in your room, and as you made it into the elevator, sent a frantic text knowing your friends would still be awake, waiting for the post-date debrief.

Red alert, I’m bringing him back, please can you vacate?

Sure enough, the replies came back instantaneously.

Oh la la of course birthday girl! 

Get it girl! 

Knew it!!!!!

Smiling as Toto rested his hand on the small of your back in the elevator, you looked up at him before he once again swooped down to catch your lips with his.

The elevator dinged before things could get too heated but it didn’t stop Toto wrapping his arm tightly around your waist as the pair of you stumbled towards your room.

“Here we are,” you said, scrambling to find your keycard in your bag before popping open the door to unveil your impressive suite. Thankfully your friends must have tidied as the detritus from getting ready for the evening was nowhere to be seen.

“Nice,” said Toto before bending down once again to continue kissing you, turning you around to face him as you closed the door. Pressing you against the wall with his leg, he continued to deepen the kiss, his hands starting to explore more of your body.

“As soon as I saw you I knew I had to have you,” he said, his lips resting against your ear, his deep Austrian accent rumbling.

You gulped, you never would have thought it but his voice roused something deep within. Your lips stretching up and finding the crevice of his neck, you replied in a low voice, “Then have me.”

Toto needed no invitation, scooping you up into his arms, he carried you over to the bed, throwing you down before leaning over and continuing to kiss you, his strong arms either side, pinning you down.

Emboldened by his eagerness, you wrapped your legs around his thick torso, pushing yourself against him, not surprised to find a growing bulge. As he ground his hips into yours, he started to explore your curves with his large hands, ghosting your breasts and waist and reaching around to caress your ass once again.

Reaching up, you started to unbutton Toto’s shirt, exposing a surprisingly muscular frame. Impatient, he leaned up and divested himself of the shirt as well as the rest of his clothes, leaving him in nothing but boxers. You couldn’t help but smile at the view that greeted you as he once again lunged down to kiss you, this time, his hands making quick work of pulling your dress off, leaving you exposed in nothing but lingerie and heels.

“You are ridiculous,” he said, his eyes hungry with desire, gazing into your eyes and gently kissing your neck.

“I could say the same about you,” you replied breathily, your back arching in pleasure as Toto kissed his way along your neck and across your collarbone.

Melting into each other’s arms, you began to grind back against his now prominent hardness, feeling yourself getting more turned on by the second.

“Toto?” you asked, gasping for air, “Will you fuck me?”

Toto’s eyes lit up, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Smiling at each other, Toto reached down to unhook your bra, releasing your pert breasts, “Fuck,” he said, lifting his head to marvel at them, “Even better than I imagined.”

You blushed at his words, not used to such attention. Growing impatient you ghosted your hands down Toto’s abs, hooking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers.

“You’re an impatient little thing aren’t you?” he said, leaning back suddenly and hooking his arms underneath your legs, gripping your thighs and bringing you closer. “I want to taste you first.”

Gulping you leant back, allowing Toto to bring his mouth to where you needed it most. As his tongue lapped gently, he brought his hand along and began to stroke your clit, slowly but sensually.

It wasn’t long before you were writhing in pleasure, tugging Toto’s dark locks as he pumped a finger in and out, continuing to expertly lick.

“Toto, I want you in me,” you said, seeing stars as you were so close.

Pausing his ministrations, Toto was more than happy to oblige, kissing his way back up your torso as he replied, “I want to do everything with you.”

At that, you melted, the evening had turned into one that was beyond your wildest dreams. As Toto swiftly undressed you both, you gazed into his intense chocolate eyes as he slipped on a condom and began to line himself up, unsurprisingly intimidatingly big.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he pushed in, slowly but surely. Gasping, you shifted to adjust to his size. True to his word, he took it easy and entered tantalisingly slowly, an inch at a time.

“Fuck, Toto.” you said breathily, “You’re so big.”

Smiling, he pulled back out before pushing in once more, “Tell me if it’s too much.”

“Not at all, it feels good,” you said, feeling pleasantly stretched in places you’d never felt before.

“Good,” he said with a grin as he began to thrust in and out lazily, continuing to kiss you.

It wasn’t long before you were a tangled mess of arms and legs, both nearing completion. “Fuck, Toto, I am so close,” you said, your eyes rolling back in pleasure.

“Close isn’t good enough,” said Toto, smirking as he reached down and found your clit once again, his thumb circling gently as he continued to push in and out, speeding up.

“That feels so go…” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as Toto hit the sweet spot with expert precision. 

“Fu…” was all Toto managed as he thrust in and out a few more times, chasing his own high before collapsing on top of you, his body heavy.

“Ooff,” you said, crushed by the weight of the muscular man on top of you.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, flashing a shy grin as he rolled off to lie beside you.

“Well… that was not how I expected my birthday to turn out,” you said, feeling like you were in a dream.

Toto laughed, stretching a strong arm across your stomach to pull you in for a cuddle. “There’s still a few hours of your birthday left.”

Your eyes widened once more. This was certainly a birthday to remember.

[kit-kat-jo]

My Murder Drones Finale analysis… 1/2 - 2/2

i stayed up until 2 am with friends last night (who i roped into binging the series with me) freaking the fuck out and theorizing, so next morning post hello!

i am FAR from done with this series, it’s been my hyperfixation and comfort show for over a year, and i pray y’all don’t die out too quickly because i have so much left to share. This show and community has blessed me in so many ways, and no way I’m letting it go just yet.

so now, of course, my frame by frame crazy analysis! ready? cool!

spoilers of course!

firstly i love how the first character they hone in on is the teacher, just laying on his desk and accepting his fate. like “really?……. ok. i guess.” fucking hilarious. man is so done.

the solver straight up pulling a Cluster from Steven Universe is not what i expected…. but so on brand. truthfully i don’t understand how in the end, uzi killed THIS whole fucking thing too when swallowing the [null], but if this finale proved anything to me its that about fifty loose ends are kept loose. and that’s… oddly okay with me?

you spin me like a ballerinaaa-

on my first rewatch i realized she tried to yell out “MOM!” in the vacuums of space… what if i just fucking cry?

mother daughter bonding… i’m so glad they have the chance to properly meet. :’) give this woman a drone body post finale so she can give her girl a hug…

SPACESHIP PILOOOTTT!! i love how all the fan content of N pulling Uzi from space into a ship came to fruition! it makes my little heart happy!!

proud of N here for being mad at her!! it doesn’t last long like i knew it wouldn’t, but still.

another thing i realized in my rewatch is that he stops being mad as SOON as he sees her cry? STOPPP😭💔

and yeaahhhh that doesn't last long.

CLOSEST to a walle kiss i got. and i’m HAPPY with it!!!!! just uh... gonna draw in that little spark later...

solver said: stop being straight :)

this whole scene makes my heart SCREAM, they’re so goofy and awkward and cute, they’re dating!!! i’m so proud of them!! them continuing to do coupley things throughout the fights coming next was absolutely too much.

oh you…. you hear something guys?? YOU SEE THAT?

MY WIFE LIVES!!!!! “itd be better if she stays dead nehnehneh” /lh NUH UH!!!!!!!! ANDDD she’s riding in on the fucking sentinel! my life…. my life is complete…. and i heard that “will it ever end for me,” so Eternal Dream IS one hundred percent HER song!

Oh, V. “We were supposed to get away, J! You said we do our jobs on this planet, and it leaves us alone!” as soon as this was said, i REALIZED. and oh, my GOD, all of V’s actions make so much sense now. J, as the leader of the squad, led V to believe that if they all did their jobs, killed blindly until no drone was left, cyn would leave her and N alone. no more messing with them, tearing them open, mutilating them and traumatizing them. as long as she made N do his job, he would be safe. I’M GONNA BE SO FUCKING SICK!!!!! J mislead them this whole time and was on the solver’s side! she knew tessa was long gone! as much as i wanted a J plot where she realizes she’s on the wrong side, i can’t say i wasn’t secretly expecting something like this.

“There’s no escape, even in death!” J has given up. she sided with the solver to end her own suffering. she sided with the abomination that was tearing them apart, tired of fighting against it. Oh, J. That’s so tragic. Fucked up what you put your teammates through, though.

the aforementioned coupley stuff. YAAAAAAALLLLLLLLUHHH. get a room

now to the fucked up shit. can i just say how much i love cyn’s animations here? she’s so fucked up. love her

you did a lot more than hurt his feelings girlie, LOOK AT HIM! his pure, horrific fear here actually broke me.

ran out of space for images! here pt 2!

[rainmustfallts4]

Forget Me Not… (Short Story)

Theme: Forget Me Not

Challenge/Month: Monthly Simlit Short Story/March 2023

Genre: Angst

Word/Picture Count: 1,000 words/12 pictures

Original Note: This is the first time in a long time that I’ve whipped up something for MSSS and I feel a bit rusty, to be sure. Why did this turn out as pure angst? I have no idea, that’s just where the prompt took me lol I also used Bluebells to represent Forget Me Nots because it’s the only blue flower that resembled it. The house used in this fic is “Family Farmhouse” made by eggiebabe on the gallery with a few edits to better fit the story.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ☔ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ 🍂 ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

For as long as I can remember, there has always been a baby blue flower on my bedside table every morning. I have no idea where they come from and, when I asked my mom about it, she always said that I probably put it there and just forgot about it. At first, I was adamant that I had nothing to do with it, but she insisted. After years of being told this, I started believing it myself.

Was I sleepwalking? I had no idea, but it worried me because I knew it wasn’t normal. I tried staying up to catch the culprit multiple times, but sleep always claimed me. As I got older, life started to get harder and I started to forget about them, despite still finding them every morning. I was so focused on other things that the flowers became insignificant to me. I started to ignore them and they started to pile up on the table.

And then, one day, they just stopped. The flowers disappeared and no new ones appeared in their place. I was relieved at first but then I started to feel lonely. It felt like something important was missing from my life. It drove me nuts because I couldn’t figure it out. I became obsessed with trying to remember. My grades started to slip because I skipped class. My friends got tired of asking me to hang out only for me to tell them that I was too busy.

“If you want to be alone that badly, fine!” exclaimed my friend after turning down her invite again. “It takes two people to make a friendship work and I’m tired of chasing you.”

“I never asked you to chase me!” I snapped back.

But my heart ached as she stomped away angrily. For the first time in a long time, I was officially alone and it was my own doing. Why did I say that? Why did I push all of my friends away? I didn’t have an answer and I honestly felt like I was losing my mind but that forgotten memory kept clawing at the edge of my mind. It was just out of reach and every time I got close, it slipped farther away.

Eventually, I was kicked out of university, fired from my job, and kicked out of my apartment. I had to move back in with my mom which I absolutely hated because all we did was argue about the smallest things. No matter how hard I tried, she just knew exactly what buttons to press to upset me and there’s only so much a single sim can take before they blow up.

“Do you think you can manage to clean the attic this time or do I need to ask you five more times?” questioned my mother, giving me an attitude as she headed for the front door.

“I already told you, I didn’t clean it yesterday because I got called in for a job interview,” I replied, trying to keep my annoyance hidden to avoid another fight.

“Which you didn’t even get,” she scoffed, sending me a pitying look. “Try harder.”

I waited until she was out the door before I started to curse, releasing all of my frustration into the universe so it didn’t eat away at me. I had enough of that already.

With a sigh, I headed up into the attic and got to cleaning. I don’t think anyone had been up there in decades because everything was covered with a thick layer of dust. Cobwebs filled every corner and I could only pray to Gleb that there were no spiders lurking in the dark corners, waiting to pounce.

A few hours passed and I was nearly done cleaning when I came across a shoe box. It was shoved into the corner, half hidden beneath an old dresser. As soon as my eyes fell on it, I felt this… overwhelming sadness wash over me and I just wanted to cry. My hands trembled as I reached for the box and it took me a minute to steel myself before I could finally open it.

Inside lay a bunch of photographs. The rubber band that had been holding them together had broken over time, leaving them scattered around the box. I picked up the first one – it was a picture of me at the park, enjoying an ice cream cone despite it being the dead of winter.

I chuckled. Even back then I loved the cold. Some things never change, I guess.

I picked up another photo – it was me and my mom mid-argument. Yeah, some things really never change.

I shook my head, reaching for the third photo – it was a young boy looking for frogs. My brow furrowed in confusion. Who is this? From that angle, I could only just see the side of his face, but that pond… it’s near my house. I used to hang out there when I was younger, talking to the frogs.

Reluctantly, I set the photo down and picked up another – it was me and the young boy, standing side by side with our arms around each other and smiles on our faces.

It hit me like a freight train. Dylan Crowley, the only kid that made an effort to befriend me. He was my best friend, my only friend. The memories came flooding back to me, bringing with them a wave of sadness and pain. I remember now… Dylan died just a couple days shy of his 12th birthday. He drowned in that pond because he jumped in to save me…

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I shakily set the photo down. There was one left and taped to it was a dried, light blue flower. The picture was the two of us again but, this time, he was giving me the flower.

My heart ached as I cried out in pain. How could I have forgotten the most important person in my life?

[rubydubydoo122]

In every universe Jason Peter Todd dies young. It’s a fate sealed across the multiverse. Maybe he could hope that there’s one universe where he doesn’t. aka, Jason, Dick, and Bruce go multiverse hopping, and are not having a fun time. (Ps, when I started writing this fic I hced Jason as Latino, but I don't really believe in that hc anymore, so just a heads up if you don't like that hc)

TRIGGER WARNING -> Child Death (it's Jason) and overdose

Bruce seemed to have that look on his face. The one where he was about to tell Jason something he didn’t want to hear in that tone that made him feel like he was 12 again.

12, like the little lamb who the Joker had Gutted alive, eaten alive.

Jason had to swallow the bile that was rising up in his throat, and turned to Bruce, “I’m sorry I killed the Joker, but not really. You can yell at me later for it. Ok?” Jason wasn’t taking any of Bruce’s ‘Holier than thou’ attitude. He know. He knows he’ll never be good enough for Bruce. He’s known since the moment his brain was sewn back together by the Lazarus waters. Jason knew he could never be good enough for Bruce. If Jason knows that, Bruce has to know that.

Dick was leaning against a wall head clutched in his hands and with his eyes squeezed shut shut. Then he took a deep breath, and it was almost instantaneous the way Dick collected himself.

Just another way Jason wasn’t Dick and would never be him. 

Though, Jason felt like he was missing something when he realized both Bruce and Dick were plastering on their gala smiles.

Though Dick’s voice was tight, barely masking the venom when he spoke, “Ms. Haywood.”

Jason doesn’t think he’s ever turned around so fast, “ Mom?”

Sheila’s eyes lit up in a way Jason couldn’t explain, “Willis,” She swatted Jason’s chest, but let her hand linger, “I thought you were the one who told me to stop calling you papi. ”

Oh. oh. Ew. Ew. Ew. This was some “Back to the Future” type buffoonery. He took a step back, but then noticed how eyes were red and pupils were dialated, “Sheila, are you high?”

She giggled, “It’s just a little coke.” she moved closer and ran a hand up and down Jason’s chest, “You look nice. Almost like the day we met.”

Dick swatted Sheila’s hand away and slightly stepped inbetween the two.

Jason could feel his shoulders creep down a little, now that Dick was acting as a wall “Where’s Jason?”

Sheila pouted, “but Willy, it’s my weekend with him.”

“You’re as high as Icarus right now, and outside, without him. I think I have every right to see my son. Can I borrow your keys?” He held a hand out.

She hummed, “Alright, butcha gotta gimmie something first.”

“Ok…”

She put a finger to her chin and looked up, “A romantic old kiss.”

Jason was about to die from discomfort and cringe into hell, “How about… I promise you one for later.”

She sidestepped Dick and gripped Jason’s collar, “nuh, uh uh,”

Jason was dead. He was dead, and this was hell, “Sheila, please, not–not in front of my Dad.” Jason glanced at Bruce who seemed to be rebooting. The words kinda slipped out, but they seemed to make her falter, “And you’re making a really bad first impression.” Hopefully this wouldn’t be much of an issue. He was pretty sure Papi’s parents died years before he was born, because this was Gotham. No one lived long.

“Oh.” Sheila immediately let go, and smoothed her hair, “It’s nice to meet you sir. I- uh, Willis didn’t tell me he was bringing you. I’m Dr. Sheila Haywood.” She held out a hand

Bruce raised an eyebrow, but didn’t shake it back. It was a power play that Bruce uses with superheroes he didn’t trust. 

“Sheila, why don’t you go on a little walk. Sober up. Then we can all talk together.”

“Yeah. Ok.” She dug her keys out of her pocket, handed them to Jason, and headed down the block.

He ignored Bruce and Dick’s looks as he headed towards the apartment listed on the keychain. It wasn’t too far, a couple buildings down, but something about this Gotham made him feel… off kilter. He didn’t really recognize it as well as the other ones. It seemed… better somehow. Not that there wasn’t crime happening around them, it’s just, compared to their Gotham, the crime seemed juvinile.

The opened the door to the building and went to the third story. Only to realize the door to the apartment wasn’t even locked.

It’s because she was high.

But then why didn’t Jason lock the door? By the time he was five he knew locking the doors were important.

“Mama?”

That was a baby.

He heard scrambling, and the sound of small footsteps making their way to see who had just come in. Baby Jay laid eyes on Jason and his face lit up, “Papi!” and the toddler was barrelling towards him. 

Jason squatted down to embrace the Baby Jay, and stood up while bringing the kid with him. Jason was very skilled at the art of picking up kids. The Alley Kids don’t call him Tio Rojo for no reason. 

He planted a kiss in Baby Jay’s curls, “What have you been up to, Mi alma.”

Baby Jay leaned into Jason’s shoulder an shook his head. Though, it was a bit aggressive, so Jason was 90% certain he was wiping his face on Jason’s shirt, “Nothin’...” Jay looked up and held Jason’s face with both hands, “Papi, your eyes hold the whole earth.”

Jason gave Jay a little laugh, “Is that so?” Though he held Jay’s eye contact. Something… something was off.

“They’re brown like the dirt, green like the trees, and blue like the oceans.”

There was a soft chuckle, that definitely did not come from Dick. Except, Bruce doesn’t chuckle. At least not anymore.

Jason turned around to look at Bruce, who was looking reverently fondly longingly warmly at the two of them, “It’s nice to know you’ve always had a way with words.”

Honestly, Jason might’ve stool there gaping like a fish for years if Baby Jay didn’t start making grabby hands towards Bruce. 

Bruce’s eyes narrowed and reached a hand out to wipe Jason’s face. Baby Jay began to flop towards Bruce, and Bruce immediately caught him, “Hey there, Jay. What’s on your hands?”

“Nothin’!” Jay stuffed his hands in his tiny pockets, “I don’t even have hands.”

If Bruce didn’t look so worried serious, Jason would’ve laughed. Except he didn’t, because now that he thought about it, it did feel like something was on his face. 

Dick made his way deeper into the apartment, very obviously looking for something.

He wiped it with his sleeve, and when he looked at it, there was a white chalky substance clinging to the brown leather. 

“Shit!” Dick swore from the kitchen, “There’s cocaine spilled on the dining table. And a spoon.”

“Call 911.” Jason immediately bent down to grab the Narcan from the pocket by his ankle. Except the packet he had was empty. He used it to help a man who was overdosing during patrol, before their stakeout with Black Mask.

And Bruce keeps Narcan in the vehicles he drives, not his utility belt. Because the parts of Gotham Batman patrols ‘doesn’t have much of a drug problem.’ “Dick, do you carry Narcan with you?”

“I ran out a couple days ago, and only had time to restock for my uniform.” Meaning Officer Grayson would have Narcan, not Nightwing.

Jason looked back to Bruce and Baby Jay. Bruce who’s eyebrows were furrowing more and more, and Baby Jay who was looking at Bruce like he was an angel.

Jason stood up, “Sheila’s a doctor. Maybe… Maybe there’s some in the bathroom? Or the kitchen. Or somewhere.”

He made his way to the bathroom. It was where Mami kept the Narcan when her opiates had been messed around with. There was a first aid kit, but only the with the basic bandaids, antibiotics and painkillers.

“There…There isn’t a home phone.” 

What?

Jason remembers using the homephone to call 911 when– right. Sheila’s his mom, not Catherine.

Still, why, why in the world would she leave a four year old at home alone ? Why in tarnation would she leave her cocaine in reach for a toddler ? She was a doctor , she should know better.

Even when Mami had doctors appointments and Papi was busy working, because chemotherapy is expensive, she would leave him with their neighbor, not all alone. And when the neighbors were too busy she would take Jason with her. Even when Mami had switched to opiates after they couldn’t pay for chemo, even when she was so tired she could barely walk, she made sure to keep the meds sealed and out of reach from Jason. And now, because Sheila was too careless, because Sheila didn’t care, because she didn’t want–

There was crying like the lamb like Tiny Tim. Right, Bruce was alone with a baby. He probably barely knew what to do.

He went into the living room and sat down next to Bruce, who was holding a wriggling Jay. Jason took Jay from Bruce and started rubbing his back. He was warmer than before, “What’s wrong?”

Jay grabbed at his chest, and pulled his shirt, “ Hurts .” Jason rested his hand on Jay’s chest. His heart was beating rapidly. 

Jason– Jason didn’t want to tell Baby Jay a poem to distract him. Because a poem would mean the end and– It can’t be the end. Not when, not when Baby Jay had never lived. Not when he had a whole lifetime ahead of him.

Bruce stood up, and went over to where the CD player was sitting on the windowsill.

“Bruce, what are you doing?”

Jason could tell what Bruce was doing. He was searching through the CD basket. He really meant why he was doing it.

“You, um, you said you used to listen to Billy Joel with your… Dad.” Bruce found the CD he was looking for, “This doesn’t say what song it is.”

“Billy never disappoints for any occasion.”

Bruce put the CD into the player, and the quick stacattos of the piano chords began to play. Maybe ‘Only the Good Die Young’ was a bad song to play when a toddler what fighting for his life.

Though Jay’s crying pettered out when he heard the music.

“ Come out, Virginia, don't let me wait; You Catholic girls start much too late; Aw, but sooner or later it comes down to fate; I might as well will be the one,” Jason stood up, and started swaying to the beat with Jay in his arms, as they listened to the song, “Well, they showed you a statue, told you to pray; They built you a temple and locked you away; Aw, but they never told you the price that you pay; For things that you might have done. Well, only the good die young; That's what I said; Only the good die young; Only the good die young.”

Jason started singing, because he didn’t want Jay wondering why they were just swaying in silence, “ You mighta heard I run with a dangerous crowd; We ain't too pretty, we ain't too proud; We might be laughing a bit too loud; Aw, but that never hurt no one; So come on, Virginia, show me a sign; Send up a signal, I'll throw you the line;” Jason covered Jay’s eyes, and earned a giggle, “ The stained-glass curtain you're hiding behind; Never let's in the sun,” Jason felt his heart swell as Jay softly sang along. 

He was aware that Bruce and Dick were just watching. He was aware that Jay’s heartbeat was still getting faster and faster. He was aware when Jay stopped singing along. He was aware when Jay went into cardiac arrest. He was aware when Dick started doing chest compressions on the doll on the couch. He just couldn’t seem to move his arms, or legs. He couldn’t seem to blink and he couldn’t hear anything. Weren’t they just listening to Billy Joel? What were they listening to again? Vienna? My Life?

There would soon be a child buried in the ground. In a coffin that was too small. There were now seven coffins in the ground that were too small. There was going to be more. With each universe the went to, they brought the death of a Jason like an inescapable prophacy.

Everything lurched around him. The sun engulfed the earth, though it goosebumps dotted his skiin like there was six feet of snow on the ground and he was buried in it. He was buried in white.

A child was gone.

[starsomens]

✨Request✨ about my embarrassment because embarassing myself is my hobby <3

reader's parents and younger brother (8 years old the young bastard😑💙 go pick up the reader at the end of the show, in that gentle moment when Noah chats a bit with fans. While he and the reader are chatting, the reader's younger brother approaches them and innocently asks "Is he that Noah guy you keep talking about in your sleep?🧐🤔" BABEGORL IMAGINE NOAHS FAACCEE IM FINISHEDD FOR LIFFEE😭😭

He come out of the concert absolutely exhausted, but absolutely fulfilled. You had one of the best nights of your life. The performance was amazing. The vocals were unforgettable and of course the boys as individuals was just a whole other experience. You were just a little little sad that you weren’t able to get VIP tickets in time but there was always the next show.

So here you were waiting outside for your parents to arrive. They’re about five minutes away, so it wouldn’t be too long. You scroll through your phone. Looking at the pictures you had taken tonight. You zoom in on a particular picture that you have taken nearly perfectly. It was a lead singer Noah and he looked fantastic. No it was very common but also pretty, looked down upon depending on who you asked to have a crush on the lead singer. as much as you try to avoid it or deny it, you definitely had a crush on him

His musical talents, his looks, and his vibe personality overall really draws people in, so could you really blame yourself? You sigh reliving the memory in your head.

“ maybe next time I’ll get into VIP “ you said to yourself wistfully

“ well, maybe that can be changed “ a voice comes from behind you you spin around to see none other than Noah Sebastian and Nick Rufillo. You felt your heart dropped into your ass you blink a couple of times look from side to side, not believing what you were saying. It was after the concert, and here was the band members themselves talking to you

You for a loss of words “I-I…. Your bad omens …” was all that you could muster

They both smile their heads “ that we are. Did you enjoy the show tonight? “ they asked and you not your head enthusiastically

“ it was so good I loved every second of it!” Compliment you’re more than sure that they could see the stars in your eyes from how you were gawking and rambling to them

“ Glad that you enjoyed, but how about a picture since you didn’t make it into VIP” offered you felt like you were dreaming at this point and you hope something would come and prove that it wasn’t a dream. As if the universe was listening to your thoughts at that very moment. Another voice comes behind you.

“Hi!” Slightly turned around to see your younger brother. “ is that your boyfriend?” he ask looking Noah up and down.

“Y/B/N! No, where’s mom and dad? Why are you here?” You ask as blush appears on your face. Your cheeks become aggressively red from embarrassment.

“ we’re here to pick you up remember” he said sarcastically pointing to the car. You just kept your mouth shut at that point because if you said anything else he’d make it worse.

“ hey how do I get a picture of you guys together?” Your mom offered pulling out her phones to take a picture. Your brother may have shown up to embarrassing you, but at least you were able to get a picture with Nick and Noah even if you weren’t able to get into VIP and see the rest of the boys.

Group together and take one or two pictures and thank them profusely

“ I know you” your brother says suddenly

And of course, Noah asks “oh you do do you enjoy the music too?“

“ not really but you my sister’s wallpaper and she talks about you in her sleep too”

You. were. Horrified. Sure your brother embarrasses you at times but why now? And in front of all people know Sebastian of bad omens. WHY???

You couldn’t move you couldn’t say anything you were completely petrified in your spot and just watched Noah’s eyes widen and surprise. A smile crossing his face in a light chuckle, escaping his lips.

“ well, I’m sure she does if she really likes her music” he was trying to save the embarrassment and redirect your brother in a different direction but of course this demon spawn says

“Mmm but she’s always staring at pictures of you saying how hot you are-“

“OKAY WELL IM TIRED and it’s time to go home and I have work in the morning”

“No you do-“

At that point, you sort of stuffing your brother into the backseat of the car and shut the door as fast as possible. You had nowhere to hide your face as a long size escapes your body. You had such a great night, and you even got to meet two of the band members and your brother just had to ruin the experience.

You felt the top of your shoulder and you turn around to see Noah, handing you a piece of paper those between his fingers. He gives you a soft smile and says.

“ we gotta get going, but have a safe drive and thanks for coming to the show”

“ thank you for taking a picture with me. I really appreciate it and again I love your music so much.” You think them and goodbye as they walk to you soon will be the tour bus

when all of a sudden you get into the car and put your headphones on completely ignore your brother. You look at the paper still in hands, folded. You take the paper and carefully open it, just enough for you to read.

It was autographed by Nick and Noah with a small note under Noah's name

"see you in your dreams ;)"

Your cheeks heat up and all you could do was fold it tightly and stuff it into your pocket. You'll make sure your brother doesn't ever see this one!

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @your-girl-c @fvckmeorchokeme @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547

[oneokkombat]

I truly made this acc so I can ramble about my favs so I’ll start with random headcanons for my girlfriend Johnny cage <3

-> I believe he gets REALLY pissed when he gets called a “nepobaby” or something along those lines by the media because 1) his family wasn’t famous before him and 2) he is really prideful of the work he has put to get to where he is.

-> daddy issues..mommy issues…everything issues (it was obvious 😭) I do believe while he has complica feelings about it he does get along with his mom, keeps it very superficial tho. He definitely hates his brother and dad.

-> his parents divorced while he was a teen and it was MESSY part of the reason why his divorce with Cris crushed him so much was because he felt just like his dad

-> his family (including extended family) always had a very obvious preference for his brother, part of it is because growing up his brother was the more “charismatic” one and also he was doing excellent at school while Johnny struggling in most of his classes and he was an awkward kid.

-> also his family took his brother more seriously because he pursue “serious” careers while Johnny always wanted to be an actor.

-> part of me believes johnny was a child actor and that was probably the worst period of his life, he got taken advantage of not only by older directors and producers but also his own family.

-> all of the money he did as a child actor was never used on him, not even for important things, most of it went to payments for all the debts they had (courtesy of his dad) and the left over was focused on payment for his brother’s college since he was studying for becoming a lawyer (courtesy of his mother since “Jimmy is becoming a lawyer to help the law he’s priority”)

-> to elaborate more on his and his mom’s relationship: I do believe she later own realized her own mistakes although since she’s stubborn as hell she never properly apologized and also realized wayy to late so the damage is already very done. He still loves her dearly because she did showed more care to him than his dad, it’s just too complicated so he rather keep her at arms length.

-> since going through the burden of child acting, he have always advocated for them, when he has young co-stars he always treats them with respect and it’s even super friendly with them joking around and even offering them junk food or desserts. A popular backstage story about him is the time he work with a crew of teen actors and after a hard day of filming he took them to an arcade and paid for absolutely everything, till this day even after the kids grew up they still recall that story with fondness.

-> another popular story of his was when he stood up for a kid who was being treated unfairly by the studio of one of his films, stoping the whole production until the issue got solved and the kid was ok.

-> I just think Johnny likes kids man, he’s like the weird but cool uncle, he is lowkey afraid of being a father for the fear he will end up like his

-> in a funnier note, in his universe he was the one who said the legendary Tom hardy quote: “I’m an actor, of course i had gay sex”

-> bisexual Johnny 100% he’s not even officially out but everyone and their mother knows

-> he was in the “my wife and I saw you from across the bar” situation with a popular Hollywood couple but he won’t say who..

-> he met Cris when he was still a unknown actor, she was the producer’s assistant in the short film he was in, she was the first person who not only saw through his bs but also actually believed he was going to be a big actor one day, definitely one of his closest friends before dating. Unfortunately we all know how that ended..

-> I do believe some day long after their divorce Johnny does reach out and apologizes, they definitely never go back to date since she moved on and is genuinely happier with her new partner, but they slowly rebuild their friendship, at the end they were friends first and foremost.

-> Cris and him definitely gossip a lot after rebuilding their friendship, she constantly pokes fun at him once she figures who is his crush 👀.

-> he definitely has a big crush on kenshi, it’s almost ridiculous, sadly he is severely emotionally repressed (just like his man) and thinks kenshi deserves someone better than him he also still believes kenshi blindness it’s his fault for being too weak oops

That’s all for now!!

[darkyouthgentlemen]

arcane's final

Well, well, well... it’s the finale, and I’m not okay. Let’s break it down.

BE AWARE: SPOILERS AHEAD! (and srry for my english)

Ramblings about the last 3 episodes in the chronological order:

Vi seeing Lois as a Wander figure was gut-wrenching (especially considering what is going to happen in the last episode 😢)

Caitlyn’s brutality on Maddi oh ... for a moment I felt bad for her but as turned out, Catelyn's attitude got justified.

Jinx apologizing for C's mom? Meanwhile, Piltover soldiers — and Caitlyn herself — choose blood and felt that means justify the goal. The layers of moral grayness are SO much.

Jayce’s thinking: "Magic = Hextech = Arcane = Doom." Does he think all magic users are destined to destroy the world? And wait—could Mel somehow be tied to Arcane? (I’m spiraling.)

Powder/Jinx is the same across universes: pouring into others cups but never for themselves. Always feeling unworthy. It HURTS.

Silco hallucination: “Walking away” doesn’t HAVE to mean suicide, girl! And the glowing Hextech-blue eye? WHAT IF Silco is more than a hallucination—a ghost, maybe tied to the Arcane underworld? That scene gutted me. Silco comforting Jinx in his own twisted way even from underworld—I NEED TO BELIEVE THIS.

she just kept them there all this time…. Girl don’t close it!!!! you can do so much more

Viktor’s transformation into the Herald: it was terrifying. And overall this transition? From him wanting to create a perfect world, where the whole world being his some creepy doll-house and now he wants to eliminate the whole world.... it escalated pretty quickly (sure your lover not being very accepting of your new life direction and wanting to assasinate you isnt very motivating thing but still Viktor’s journey hauntingly tragic).

Oh and Zahnites’ epic entrance: ICONIC. It felt like there wasn't enough accent given to this moment or it can be my own feelings but still, it would hve been great to see more interactions about it. And Viktor’s entrance? Literal angelic imagery. His design is nightmare fuel in the best way.

Remember when Jinx dreamed of flying in the first episode? she made it evetually. Those days feel peaceful now

Sour Honey Iced Tea: What even was that?! Will it matter in the future? like getting your mind prepared to get wiped out? I NEED ANSWERS.

Ekko’s so much MC and the way writers implemented the time-travel ability was so beautiful. and those 4 seconds mattering so much in the finale.

I love the artists behind this design...

First time deing his eyes with the not-blurred pupil in forever, and he looks utterly shocked. My BABY

“Now all I want is my partner back.” Girl, I’m crying on the floor o(TヘTo).

"Why do you persist after everything Ive done?" his face is just

Victor and the Void: So the Void wasn’t manipulating him? It was all his choice?! or no??? a little confused by this part. But if it really was all Voctors choice the I guess friendship and forgiveness are a real thing that saved him? MY HEART.

Meanwhile, girls are in PTSD spiral. 💔

oh that hurt

Oh, and they DARED. Of course, they gave us another bittersweet trauma-filled father-daughter moment. Thanks for the tears.

Pretty much represents how we all felt at that moment

A season ago, who would have thought

In these series everyone's story gets to be told. You made it Singe,

What is this???

Caitlyn calling Jinx by her name? It’s a turning point for her and for us—an acknowledgment. Girls have a lot of stuff to do

I could keep screaming, but yeah. This finale hit like a freight train. Bittersweet, devastating, and absolutely perfect.... They are not going to leave us without any continuation, right???

[melimatters]

FF14 Write 2023: Off the Hook

(NOTE: For the full effect of what I have in mind for this piece I suggest listening to the following link while reading: Óró 'sé do bheatha 'bhaile - LYRICS + Translation - YouTube it’s a Irish folk song, but the tune is what I am stealing not the lyrics lol)

Altani breathed deeply and took in the warm air blowing across Broken Glass, it was summer in Garlemald, and while not precisely warm it was at least tolerable, especially with the wood fires burning at the center of the encampment where the evening meal was being served. 

She was sitting on the ground next to Allie, taking in the soft sounds of chatter and what sounded like light drumming on some of the Ceruleum barrels. She nuzzled in on Allies shoulder smelling the gentle perfume in her lover’s hair, on the night wind it wafted adding just a touch of home in what was otherwise a blasted landscape. 

“I’ll never get over how people were supposed to survive in this.” Altani said softly, her eyes wandering over the encampment “I can’t believe mom grew up in this nightmare.”

Allie nuzzled her hair closer to Altani “I can’t either being honest, father mentioned the condition of his homeland many times, but we never came back up here.”

The two women drifted back to their own thoughts, lazily watching the rest of the camp members. Altani noted her mother not a few yalms away sitting on the ground much like herself with Y’shtola in tow, the two of them chatting eagerly to one another.

“Have those two set a date yet?” Allie asked amusedly. 

“Not yet, I don’t think Y’shtola is going to let mom get off the hook on this one though, she is determined to make it clear to mom and the universe that she considers them forever, no matter how long that is.”

Allie looked over at the two women and chuckled “I am not sure father is ready to consider me doing something like that, it might kill him.”

“I am pretty sure it would do the same to mom, having her former lover as official family would be something she might never recover from.” Altani giggled. 

The women sat in silence again once more until they heard the soft sound of the strings of an instrument being tuned. 

“I think your sister is about to go on.” Allie said with anticipation “I always love hearing her play and sing.”

Altani’s eyes filled with pride, she had always been the same, even from when they were young she remembered K’yla humming, she always had a tune going, even during the time she barely spoke a single word. 

Suddenly the light drumming from earlier began to roll in earnest, it wasn’t loud or thunderous by any mean, but a steady beat that one could dance by. The two women swayed with the sound, feeling its primal thump, it was such a different sound than what K’yla usually played. They noticed that Melisande’s eyes went very wide and she whispered something to Y’shtola who simply grinned. 

It was at that moment that the music began to rise, Altani had never heard this instrument, it reminded her of the harp in Fortemps manor but sounded like it was struck as opposed to plucked. K’yla began to sing, it was in a language that Altani didn’t recognize but had so much emotion behind it. She turned and saw her mother staring at her younger daughter and with what she thought were tears in her eyes. 

“This..this is a song that mom used to hum to us a lullaby when we were younger!”

Allie turned her head towards to get a better listen to the music and lyrics as K’yla belted them out “It’s…Old Garlean…” she said finally.

“Old Garlean?”

“From before the freeze and migration, father once mentioned it still being used in the villages even up north.” Allie said quietly.

“Can you understand it?” Altani asked excitedly.

“No, I mean, not exactly?” Allie responded with clear frustration in her voice “It’s similar to what I learned from my father, but quite different at the same time.”

The two women’s thoughts were broken at the sight of Melisande standing up and gingerly moving towards the open ground around the fires and begin to dance. There was such a passion in her footwork and movement, like something freed from a long time of lost memory. Altani found tears in her eyes now, she could see them streaming down her mother’s face as she danced, others began to join in, mostly the non pureblood garleans, but some of the purebloods as well. 

“I think…I think mom could remember the tune but not the words, that’s why she used to hum it to us, thinking back I think there were tears in her eyes then too.”

Allie wrapped arm around Altani’s slender waist “She is from the villages isn’t she? This was probably something she heard as a child and danced to back then as well.”

“Yeah, and fury bless, K’yla somehow found out what the song was and the lyrics as well.”

“She never ceases to amaze me.” Allie said, bursting into a broad smile. 

“Me either, but she is a storyteller, she probably found someone here to teach it to her.”

“I just wish I could tell you what it says and means.” Allie said, her frustration growing.

“We shall return to our home, long lost behind the cold, one day to see sunlights warmth and rise again.” a voice said from behind the women. 

They turned to see a tall pure blood garlean standing there, it was Maxima, one of the earliest members of the movement to end the tyranny of the empire. Altani also noticed what she thought was a tiny tear in his eye as well. 

“It’s old, very old, I remember my mother teaching it to me when I was very small, a reminder of where we came from and where we wanted to go back to. I haven’t heard it in a very long time, and certainly not like this.” 

Altani stared up at the garlean man and spoke softly “You never learned it in the original language I take it?”

“No, not at all, the old language was essentially eliminated in the earliest days of the empire, Solus had no need for it apparently, but it persisted in the villages, I think because they could speak about the rest of us without being understood.”

“Sounds about right for people that weren’t exactly considered equals.” Allie mused. 

“I want to change that, we don’t need this hate, this fear anymore, I want a better Garlemald, a better future for all of us.” Maxima said wistfully. 

Altani turned back towards the fire and laughed, she saw her mother draggin Y’shtola up to dance with her, the Mi’qote woman seemed to be quite determined not to move but it was clearly performative. She watched with tenderness as the two women swayed and laughed. It was at that moment she felt a gentle shove on her shoulder and saw Allie stand and reach a hand out.

“May I have this dance?”

Maxima watched as the two women headed out to the fire and began to move in time with the music just as Melisande and Y’shtola were doing. He smiled a broad smile. 

“Perhaps, all it takes is one song to begin the healing.” he thought to himself.

NOTE: I have a VERY extensive background on what I have come up with for old Garlemald that I will get together and publish at some point, its probably way out there, but I based in on the limited info we have and many of the allusions to imperial Rome.

[poeticexhalations]

Two People in Love

I think that sometimes, opposites attract. And that attraction is an explosion of stars in a universe where everything is supposed to be contained. You see, people are messy and complicated; we are supposed to fit comfortably into our little bubbles and remain there for our whole lives. We aren’t supposed to question what it is like to feel love from someone who reveals your weaknesses as their strengths. The introverts seek the introverts. The scientists seek the scientists. The healers seek the healers.

Not my parents.

I heard their love was haunting, radiating, and full of misunderstandings.

The way that my mother and father would have died for each other, yet killed one another on bad days, is a tempest that I only hope to feel one day. 

She was fire, and he was ice.

She was dark, and he was light.

She was music, and he was silence.

My father claims that there was something about her deep, chocolate eyes that drew him in on a cold night in Bloomington, Indiana. He wasn’t looking for love. He was there after long, tedious exams with a few of his dudes, getting watered-down beer at the pub across the street from the university. It was autumn, 1989. My father tried his best to look presentable at all times, but I can only imagine the hole in his polished shoes, the missing button at the top of his shirt, and the frazzled look of his wavy hair from running his hands too many times through the golden strands.

My mom would have been the kind of person to notice these things and see them as strengths, not flaws. Because even though he was tired, and put-down, and frazzled, he did his best to present himself to the world. In youth, my mother saw the strengths in everyone. Even someone who was as cold and calculating as my father.

He tells me he saw her across the pub, sketching in her notebook, and fell instantly. He knew he was going to marry this woman, and he didn’t even know her name. She ignored him completely, not out of disinterest, but because she was existing in the world of her graphite pencil and coffee-stained pages. My father sees the logic behind everything, and she shattered this ideal. How could he, a man of logic and intuition, fall so quickly for a woman he had never seen before, and may never see again? And my mother was lovely, but she was no superstar model. She was modest in her beauty. She had beauty for those who knew where to look. 

Sometimes I wish I had a man find me that way; pick me out of a crowd of people, and gravitate towards me. Then I remember what happened to my parents and it makes me feel safe to be, for the most part, fairly invisible.

Maybe this is where I learned the trait of invisibility and silence, as many girls do; to avoid men like my father finding us.

Their love wasn’t a steadfast one. It was lots of angry kisses, messy sex in coat-closets, making up at parties before screaming fights under the stars, and wrathful jealousy.

Both of my parents came from humble beginnings. The difference between my mother and father’s upbringings, however, was a catalyst for their lives. My father was raised with many boys in a small adobe house in (our city), New Mexico. His father before him, a World War II veteran, was about appearances. 

The ******** had a name to uphold in (our city), apparently, though no one really knows why. 

My grandfather wrote for the newspaper, and my grandmother was a math teacher in a middle school. They were to live as a nuclear family, and then each one of those boys was to grow up, be humble, have children, marry a respectable white woman who listened to her husband, and change the world. 

Each son had to be college educated. 

Each son would pursue science, math, or engineering and then serve their country. 

These rigid expectations for how my father and uncles’ lives would play out is probably why two of my uncles are dead, and one of them lives in Portland believing that Bigfoot is his neighbor and aliens took him in the middle of the night. 

Trauma does that to people.

My dad and my uncle P were the only ones who thrived. They both made their living on destruction, which is something I’m not personally interested in, hence my distance to them both. My father designs explosives for the government, and I imagine some of his work has been used on innocents in other countries. My uncle is a defense lawyer who makes sure that murderers and rapists go free, destroying the lives of the victims. Supposedly, they’re happy men. I think they’re both as miserable as can be, but they both have ass-loads of money, mansions in the woods, and beautiful, blonde wives with large tits and plastic surgery. Their wives hate me, so I must be doing something right.

My mother was opposite in just about every way. She grew up in (city), Indiana, with many siblings. Her favorite pastime was scraping her knees, swimming in the natural lakes, and riding her rusty bicycle down to the local library to check out mystery novels. She was close to her siblings and parents, who lived chaotic in every way that was possible. Every family vacation was spontaneous, every musical concert was a family gift, and becoming college-educated was a luxury that my grandmother and grandfather thought impossible for someone of their means. 

My mother was connected to everything in this natural world. The universe was exceptionally kind with my mother when she was born and gifted her abilities that I still desire; the ability to connect with the squirrels on the hiking trail, the ability to be seen wherever you go, the ability to talk your way out of paying for your car repairs, the ability to make the sun shine specifically on your face on a rainy day. When she was young, she was as authentic as possible, and mystery and creativity flowed through her veins. She lost her touch with life as she aged, but in her twenties and thirties, my mother was like a hurricane that destroyed everything in your life before it was repaired better than before.

My maternal side of the family had a rich, historical connection to Scotland, including family heirlooms that were supposed to go to me, poetry books, the Gaelic language, and rich family connections. Too bad that when my grandmother died, it all got pillaged and the opportunity to connect to my roots was taken away from me from a man who saw dollar bills in his eyes upon her passing.

Oh well.

I think that opportunity was gone long before that fucker my grandmother married stole everything.

My father wasn’t in a “place for love”, yet he loved my mom. So he pushed her away at every given opportunity for years. They’d encounter each other on campus only to go the long way around to avoid eye contact. He was older, about to graduate, and she was still existing in her sketchbook. He said he’d watch her for minutes on end by the fountain, in the food hall, walking home under the shaking trees of autumn. But it wasn’t until she was walking under those trees, hand-in-hand with another man, that my father finally was spurred into action.

And not only was it another man; it was his best mate. Sam.

I imagine something about seeing the woman you love, and denying being in love with, kissing your best mate, does something to a man’s heart. And spine.

My father, incapable of loving a woman, who was supposed to marry an obedient woman whom his parents approved of, knew then that he needed to marry this wild, untamed wreck that was my mother. And I love her, but she was a disaster for him. She unraveled everything he thought he knew about the world, and he unraveled her until she died. Sam was everything that my father wasn’t, so I don’t know how the two of them ended up as friends. Sam was kind, soft, and artistic. He had square glasses the size of Colorado over his bright green eyes. Whereas my father was motivated and analytical, Sam was gentle and dashing. Their group would always go to the films, to the pubs, and to parades together, and my father explained that he would see Sam with “his girl”. 

Though, she wasn’t his, because my father had pushed her away. 

You see, my mother waited years for my father before she finally gave up on him and met Sam. My father didn’t want something when it was offered to him; he wanted to take it. I don’t know how he managed, but it must have done some real damage, because Sam and my mother rarely spoke in their adult lives. And my father whisked away a bride. 

My mother would always tell me she “should have married Sam.”

But my father always gets what he wants.

I don’t think their marriage was all bad. It was a hurricane, but I imagine that there were peaceful, romantic moments, too. There is a reason that thirty-two years later, my father’s eyes glisten and he smiles when he sees a photograph of her. I think she softened him; she sawed away his rough edges and made him see beauty that he hadn’t seen before. I think she made him appreciate sunsets a little more. I think that she probably made him question everything. 

But I think he destroyed her.

They did the societal appropriate approach to their lives together. Marriage. Kids. Move to our city. A few affairs. Loveless nights. Screaming under the fluorescent lights in the kitchen. Divorce. Rage. Death. Unresolved grief.

The American thing.

My grandparents wanted a nuclear family, and I suppose they got their wish. It just wasn’t the happy ending everyone hoped for.

[formulauno98]

A Birthday to Remember - Toto Wolff x OC

My first attempt at a one-shot, based on this glorious request from @latte-luxe:

If you can, could you please write a short, but spicy🌶️🌶️🌶️ one shot of a young, crazy, yet loveable 5'2 Maestra who is celebrating her 30th birthday in Monaco, and a certain 6'5 F1 team principal laid eyes on her and knew he just had to have her. 😅😅😅🙏🙏🙏

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Caution may contain spice.

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction, no-one is married in this alt-universe.

THE MORNING

It was Saturday morning and stepping out onto her balcony at the Fairmont Monte Carlo, Fernanda swept her eyes over the spectacular view. It was a pinch yourself to check if you’re dreaming kind of view of sparkling blue waters, peppered every so often with a gleaming white yacht.

“Good morning, birthday girl.” murmured a husky, heavily accented voice from behind her. Before she even had the chance to turn around, a pair of muscular arms swooped around her from behind before coming to rest on her hips, gently squeezing her curves.

“Good morning to you too,” she said, turning around and leaning up to kiss the tall towel-clad Austrian, resting her hand on his bare chest as he pressed himself tightly against her. It was yet another pinch me I’m dreaming moment. If someone had told Fernanda this time yesterday that this was how she would be spending her Saturday morning she would have laughed and called them crazy, but sometimes life could be crazy.

THE NIGHT BEFORE

It was a sunny evening and Fernanda had stood out on the balcony with a glass of wine in her hand, admiring the view whilst waiting for her three best friends to get ready. As a lifelong Formula One lover, a weekend trip to Monaco had been on the cards for a while so when her friends asked where she wanted to go to celebrate her thirtieth birthday it was at the top of the list. Turning the dream into reality was another thing altogether and she still couldn’t believe that the trip had materialised. 

Dinner was due to be lowkey as Saturday was going to be the big night out, with dinner plans at Elsa, a Michelin-star establishment, followed by a night on the tiles at Jimmyz, a club frequented by the world of Formula One. Friday night’s restaurant of choice was Song Qi, an upscale Chinese restaurant in Larvotto that had come highly recommended. 

“Fernanda, how long is the walk?” A voice called out from the suite.

“About five/ten minutes.” She replied, sighing, as always the mom of the group.

“Medium heels it is then,” her friend Olivia replied.

“We can always get a car,” Fernanda suggested.

“No, let’s conserve the taxi budget for tomorrow night,” Olivia said, stepping out onto the balcony to 

accompany her friend, “Laura and Becca are almost ready.”

“Good idea,” Fernanda replied, “You look gorgeous by the way.”

Olivia beamed with the compliment, stepping back to twirl in her pink minidress and sparkling sandals, “I try my best, although I can’t compete with you, my spicy little Salma Hayek twin.”

Fernanda blushed, everyone always compared her to the diminutive Mexican actress and truth be told, it wasn’t the worst comparison in the world. She’d chosen a simple white dress with gold sandals for the evening’s dinner, perhaps a risky move in a restaurant serving noodles but she felt fabulous. Her dark hair was slicked back into an elegant bun and she’d highlighted her tanned skin with golden shimmering oil, a move that always brought the compliments.

It wasn’t long before Laura and Becca also emerged, both looking as beautiful as ever. The four friends had treated themselves to two adjoining suites and opened up the connecting door to create a mega-suite.

“Oh la la, give us a twirl,” said Fernanda, looking her elegant friend up and down as she dutifully spun around.

“Beautiful!” Now it was Laura and Becca’s turn to blush. “Ditto! Shall we get going?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Fernanda agreed, the four of them making their way off of the balcony.

——

Song Qi turned out to be an excellent choice, with the table weighed down with baskets of dim sum and bowls of noodles, crispy beef and endless wontons. The restaurant was decadent but comfortable and as Fernanda sank back into her sumptuous green velvet chair she spotted a strangely familiar face at the table across from them. He was dark-haired, handsome with chiselled features and although he was sat down, tall, as he towered above the two men he was dining with.

It took a moment to realise that it was none other than Toto Wolff, the affable Mercedes Formula One team principal. Although she thought it was only for a moment, Fernanda must have stared for a while as he briefly met her eyes and shot her a charming smile. Smiling back like a fool, her friends whipped their heads around to see who their friend was smiling at, fortunately, Toto not noticing as he had returned to his plate.

“Damn girl, he’s kinda hot, in that old businessman kind of way,” said Olivia, turning back around to face Fernanda.

“Well yes…” Fernanda stuttered, “He’s also one of the team principals in Formula One.”

“Huh?” Asked her three friends blankly, not followers of the sport.

“Kind of like the equivalent of a football manager,” Fernanda explained, “Except he owns some of the team as well.”

“Fancy, well he’s pretty. You should go and talk to him.” Said Laura, all formula one facts going straight over her head.

“Oh my god, no,” Fernanda said, “I’m sure he was just being polite.”

As if on cue, Toto looked up and locked eyes with her once again, his deep brown eyes crinkling. Fernanda gulped, returning his gaze with a smile once again.

Dinner continued, with the girls chatting away as Fernanda every so often met Toto’s eyes across the crowded restaurant. He looked to be in some kind of business meeting as the two men with him were dressed smartly and looked serious while conversing with them.

It wasn’t long before dinner had been cleared and a smiling waiter emerged with a chocolate cake laden down with a sparkler and a golden thirty-number candle, Olivia, Becca and Laura looking at each other mischievously before breaking into a rousing rendition of the Happy Birthday song. Fernanda felt her cheeks reddening as she realised the entire restaurant, including Toto and his business associates had joined in the song. As she blew out the candle, she once again locked eyes with Toto who was grinning away while applauding.

“You guys are the worst,” Fernanda said, half joking as she shook her head at her friends. “But that’s why I love you.”

“Aw, well we had to do something,” said Laura, “It’s not every day you have a big birthday like this and although I still don’t understand why you love your car racing so much, I’m happy that we came here.”

Fernanda smiled at her friends, she was appreciative of them, enabling her desire to walk around the Formula One track and visit the car museum, despite the fact they really weren’t interested. Just as she was musing how ironic it was that she’d seen Toto Wolff, their waiter reappeared with a tray of drinks.

“Oh, I don’t think we ordered those,” said Olivia politely.

“Yes Madame, in fact, the gentlemen over there sent them alongside their birthday wishes.” The waiter replied.

Fernanda’s eyes widened, Toto Wolff had sent her birthday wishes. An interesting turn of events.

“Well, then that’s very nice of them,” said Olivia, as the waiter set them down, “Fernanda, you should go and say thank you!”

“Oh my God, yes, go!” Said Becca, egging her friend on.

Sighing, but also buoyed by her friends’ enthusiasm, Fernanda spoke, “I’m going to go but only to say thank you.”

Her three friends squealing with excitement, Fernanda took an extra sip of her drink for courage before standing up and sauntering over to where Toto and his associates sat. His interest piqued immediately as he noticed her making her way across the restaurant.

“Good evening, sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to say thank you for the drinks, it was very kind of you,” Fernanda said, a little too quickly due to nerves.

“Well, it’s not every day you celebrate a milestone like that.” Replied Toto kindly, standing up to hold out a hand to shake, “I’m Toto by the way, and this is Jean and Sebastian,” he gestured at the older gentlemen he was dining with.

Struck by the almost comical height difference Fernanda looked up at the tall Austrian in front of her as he gripped her hand very tightly, “I’m Fernanda, nice to meet you all.”

The other gentlemen smiled at her politely, wishing her a happy birthday before picking their conversation back up. Toto, however, remained stood up, his eyes raking her curves. “Fernanda?” He asked, “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

Now Fernanda was really blushing, “You’re far too kind.”

“Not at all,” he said, “I hope you do not think this forward but would you like to join me for dinner one evening?”

Fernanda’s eyes widened, floored that this man was asking her out. “I would love to but unfortunately I’m only here until Sunday so I’m not sure if I’ll have time.”

Toto looked disappointed but pressed further, “Well then, how about a drink later this evening?”

Fernanda’s eyes went even wider before she managed to answer, “I’m not sure, it’s a girl's trip and I don’t want to ditch my friends, I really would love to though. Maybe can I get your number and text you once I’ve figured out their plans?”

“Understood,” replied Toto, looking down, gazing into her eyes with an unreadable expression, “It would be my pleasure, give me your phone.”

Fernanda’s eyes lit up as she handed her phone to the tall Austrian in front of her who deftly punched in his contact. “Thank you, I’ll check in with the girls and let you know. I’ll leave you to your dinner for now but I hope to see you later,” she said with a smile.

Toto turned to glance at his dining companions who were still deep in conversation, and dropped closer down to Fernanda’s ear, keeping his voice low, sending a shiver down her spine, “It’s okay, I don’t think they missed me. I hope to see you later too Fernanda.”

Fernanda looked up at Toto with a smile, “I’m sure they did. See you, Toto.” As she turned back towards her table she glanced over her shoulder and saw Toto’s eyes were locked on her as he returned to his seat. He was undeniably hot and as much as she always abided by the golden rule, chicks before dicks, this was special circumstances.

Sitting back down with her friends, they immediately leaned in to get the lowdown.

“What did he say? He didn’t take his eyes off of you!” said Laura excitedly.

“Just wished me a happy birthday… and asked me out,” said Fernanda blushing.

“No way!” exclaimed her three friends in unison.

“You’re going to go right?” said Olivia, looking at her friend in concern.

“I’m not sure.” said Fernanda, “I don’t want to ditch you all for a man but equally he’s hot as fuck and it would only be for an hour or so.”

“An hour or so?” said Becca, raising her eyebrows, “I doubt this, but you should go, make it a memorable birthday!”

Fernanda looked over once again at where Toto sat, he was a striking man, pushing all of his success to one side. “What the hell, I’ll message him now. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Her friends squealed with excitement in unison.

Fernanda grabbed her phone and nervously began typing her message to Toto.

It’s all good for tonight, we’re almost done eating so I’m free whenever you are.

She could see Toto excuse himself and take out his phone, shooting her a grin from across the restaurant before looking down to type a response.

Sure enough, Fernanda’s phone buzzed.

Perfect, so are we. Shall I meet you outside in ten minutes?

Fernanda replied excitedly, still not believing she was texting Toto Wolff of all people. 

Sounds like a plan.

——

Fernanda was nervous but excited as she saw Toto and his associates pay their bill and head off, Toto shooting her a wink as he jostled his way out of the restaurant.

Settling their own bill, Fernanda and her friends were close behind and as she exited the restaurant, sure enough, she saw Toto standing outside waiting for her, leaning casually up against a column.

Bidding her friends goodbye, she made her way towards her date for the evening. “Hi,” she said somewhat awkwardly, knowing that her friends were likely watching from where they were ordering a taxi to return them to their hotel.

“Hi,” he said, glancing down at her fondly, “How was your dinner?”

“So good!” she said, “How was yours?”

“It was okay, my dining companions weren’t as lovely as you but I think my evening is improving,” he said with a rakish grin.

Fernanda smiled, “You’re a charmer, Toto. Where were you thinking of heading?”

“I know a place a few streets behind, it’s not so fancy but they have an excellent selection of wine if you like it?”

Knowing that she was already a little tipsy, Fernanda was grateful he’d suggested wine, “Sounds good to me, lead the way, Mr Wolff!”

Toto whipped his head around, “I never told you my surname.”

Feeling she’d made a huge error of judgement, Fernanda stuttered, his dark eyes intimidating her before she decided the best course of action was to fess up, “Well it took me a moment but I recognised you. Guilty as charged.”

Musing quietly, Toto’s expression softened, “So you know a little about me, tell me about yourself.”

As the pair made their way around the twisting streets towards the bar, Fernanda filled Toto in on her background, her career as a teacher and her plans for the weekend.

Soon enough they arrived at their destination, Toto, taking the lead and speaking with the Maitre D’ who promptly led them to a secluded table towards the back of the bar.

Settling down on the chair opposite Toto, Fernanda was suddenly much more nervous. 

“You look nervous,” Toto said, his eyes kind.

“Well, this is not how I thought my evening was going to pan out. The ruse is up in that I recognised you so I may as well tell you that we came to Monaco because I love Formula One.” Fernanda blushed furiously as her words tangled into one.

“Relax Fernanda, so you know about formula one?” he said, reaching across the table, taking her hand in his and tracing small circles with his thumb on the back of her hand.

“Well, probably not as much as you.” Fernanda laughed, breaking the tension and gazing into his eyes.

“You’d be surprised,” said Toto shrugging with a smirk. “I just got lucky.”

——

As the evening went on, the pair discussed everything under the sun, the wine helping Fernanda to feel less awkward and forget who she was talking to. Toto was funnier than she expected and she spent half the evening giggling at his stupid remarks. He’d regaled her with stories of his travel adventures, driving mishaps and various other anecdotes, whilst she’d filled him in with her tales of teaching and embarrassing childhood moments. They’d bonded over their love of all things with an engine and time had flown by.

“Ahem.” Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a waiter, “Monsieur, Madame, I am sorry to say that we are closing in ten minutes. Can I take one last order?”

Knowing she was well beyond tipsy, Fernanda shook her head, looking at Toto to check if he was in agreement. Looking somewhat bleary-eyed himself he shook his head as well, “Just the bill please.”

Soon enough the cheque had been settled and Fernanda found herself once again wandering the moonlit streets of Monaco with Toto, this time her hand firmly encased in his.

“Where do you need to go?” Toto asked kindly, “I can drop you back.”

“I’m staying at the Fairmont,” Fernanda replied, not wanting the night to end.

“It’s not so far, are you happy to walk?” he asked, squeezing her hand.

“Sure, it’s just up there,” she replied gesturing at the bend in the road where the hotel was perched, “As long as you can get home okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” said Toto, a dark look in his eye. “Fernanda, when do you leave again?”

“Sunday afternoon,” she said sadly, wishing she was staying for longer.

“Well, you’ll have to come back next year for the Grand Prix,” he said, a twinkle in his eye.

“Maybe if I rob a bank!” she said with a chuckle, “One day.”

“I don’t like to boast, but I might know someone who can get you in without having to resort to organised crime,” he said, laughing with a deep rumble.

“Oh really?” Fernanda said, turning to face Toto in the inky moonlight, “Is he nice?”

“Very,” said Toto, dropping Fernanda’s hand and placing his hands on either side of her waist, swaying slightly in his merry state.

Laughing, Fernanda stretched up to look Toto in the eye, “I’ll have to meet this guy, he sounds great.”

At that their lips met, Toto bending down to plant a soft kiss on Fernanda’s lips, their height difference making it slightly a challenge but one that neither party seemed bothered by. As the kiss deepened, Toto began to run his hands down towards Fernanda’s perfectly rounded ass, squeezing gently as he found her curves.

Breaking apart for air, Fernanda glanced around, luckily there was no one in the empty street but she didn’t want to risk being caught making out in the street with a famous face and it being splashed across the tacky tabloids.

“Do you fancy a nightcap at mine?” she asked, looking up at Toto through her fluffy long lashes.

Toto’s eyes lit up, “Well, I have heard the view is nice.”

Fernanda laughed, grabbing Toto’s hand once again and leading him towards the corner entrance to her hotel. As they crossed the lobby she had a sudden panic that her friend Olivia was in their room, and as they made it into the elevator, sent a frantic text knowing her friends would still be awake, waiting for her post-date debrief.

Red alert, I’m bringing him back, please can you vacate?

Sure enough, the replies came back instantaneously.

Oh la la of course birthday girl! 

Get it girl! 

Knew it!!!!!

Smiling as Toto rested his hand on the small of her back in the elevator, Fernanda looked up at him before he once again swooped down to catch her lips with his.

The elevator dinged before things could get too heated but it didn’t stop Toto wrapping his arm tightly around Fernanda’s waist as the pair stumbled towards her room.

“Here we are,” she said, scrambling to find her keycard in her bag before popping open the door to unveil her suite. Thankfully her friends must have tidied for her as the detritus from getting ready for the evening was nowhere to be seen.

“Nice,” said Toto before bending down once again to continue kissing her, turning her around to face him as she closed the door. Pressing her against the wall with his leg, he continued to deepen the kiss, his hands starting to explore more of her body.

“As soon as I saw you I knew I had to have you,” he said, his lips resting against her ear, his deep Austrian accent rumbling.

Fernanda gulped, she never would have thought it but his voice roused something deep within. Her lips stretching up and finding the crevice of his neck, she replied in a low voice, “Then have me.”

Toto needed no invitation, scooping her up into his arms, he carried her over to the bed, throwing her down before leaning over and continuing to kiss her, his strong arms either side of her, pinning her down.

Emboldened by his eagerness, Fernanda wrapped her legs around his thick torso, pushing herself against him, not surprised to find a growing bulge. As he ground his hips into hers, he started to explore her curves with his large hands, ghosting her breasts and waist and reaching around to caress her ass once again.

Reaching up, Fernanda started to unbutton Toto’s shirt, exposing a surprisingly muscular frame. Impatient, he leaned up and divested himself of the shirt as well as the rest of his clothes, leaving him in nothing but boxers. Fernanda couldn’t help but smile at the view that greeted her as he once again lunged down to kiss her, this time, his hands making quick work of pulling her dress off, leaving her exposed in nothing but her lingerie and heels.

“You are ridiculous,” he said, his eyes hungry with desire, gazing into her eyes and gently kissing her neck.

“I could say the same about you,” replied Fernanda breathily, her back arching in pleasure as Toto kissed his way along her neck and across her collarbone.

Melting into each other’s arms, Fernanda began to grind back against his now prominent hardness, feeling herself getting more turned on by the second.

“Toto?” she asked, gasping for air, “Will you fuck me?”

Toto’s eyes lit up, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Smiling at each other, Toto reached down to unhook Fernanda’s bra, releasing her pert breasts, “Fuck, Fernanda.” he said, lifting his head to marvel at them, “Even better than I imagined.”

Fernanda blushed at his words, not used to such attention. Growing impatient she ghosted her hands down Toto’s abs, hooking her fingers into the waistband of his boxers.

“You’re an impatient little thing aren’t you?” he said, leaning back suddenly and hooking his arms underneath Fernanda’s legs, gripping her thighs and bringing her closer. “I want to taste you first.”

Gulping Fernanda leant back, allowing Toto to bring his mouth to where she needed it most. As his tongue lapped gently, he brought his hand along and began to stroke her clit, slowly but sensually.

It wasn’t long before Fernanda was writhing in pleasure, tugging Toto’s dark locks as he pumped a finger in and out, continuing to expertly lick.

“Toto, I want you in me,” she said, seeing stars as she was so close.

Pausing his ministrations, Toto was more than happy to oblige, kissing his way back up her torso as he replied, “I want to do everything with you.”

At that, Fernanda melted, the evening had turned into one that was beyond her wildest dreams. As Toto swiftly undressed them both, she gazed into his intense chocolate eyes as he began to line himself up, unsurprisingly intimidatingly big.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he pushed in, slowly but surely. Gasping, Fernanda shifted as she adjusted to his size. True to his word, he took it easy and entered her tantalisingly slowly, an inch at a time.

“Fuck, Toto.” she said breathily, “You’re so big.”

Smiling, he pulled back out before pushing in once more, “Tell me if it’s too much.”

“Not at all, it feels good,” she said, feeling pleasantly stretched in places she’d never felt before.

“Good.” he said with a grin as he began to thrust in and out lazily, continuing to kiss her.

It wasn’t long before they were a tangled mess of arms and legs, both nearing completion. “Fuck, Toto, I am so close.” said Fernanda, her eyes rolling back in pleasure.

“Close isn’t good enough,” said Toto, smirking as he reached down and found her clit once again, his thumb circling gently as he continued to push in and out, speeding up.

“That feels so go…” Fernanda couldn’t even finish her sentence as Toto hit the sweet spot with expert precision. 

“Fernanda…” was all Toto managed as he thrust in and out a few more times, chasing his own high before collapsing on top of Fernanda.

“Ooff.” said Fernanda, crushed by the weight of the muscular man on top of her.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, flashing her a shy grin as he rolled off to lie beside her.

“Well… that was not how I expected my birthday to turn out.” said Fernanda, feeling like she was in a dream.

Toto laughed, stretching a strong arm across her stomach to pull her in for a cuddle. “There’s still a few hours of your birthday left.”

Fernanda’s eyes widened once more. This was certainly a birthday to remember.

[little-cereal-draws]

My critique on the new spiderverse movie

It was good. I enjoyed it. But I do have a few things I would have done differently.

The most impressive thing in my opinion was the art. It was gorgeous, that goes without saying. The different styles, the textures, the lighting, every single little thing. I loved Gwen’s universe especially; how they water colored/blended the background during the emotional parts and how she was always the opposite color from the environment while her dad blended in. All the beautiful little tricks they did to help develop the characters like that. And then putting her mask motif behind her or having the background run like there was real water on it was so cool. I could watch it over and over without the sound and never get bored. It’s a visual feast.

I loved the extreme wide shots too. When Miles and Gwen are looking at the skyline, when Miles and his dad are talking by the portal rubble in the beginning, etc. When in the middle of a conversation, the characters are tiny little specks, and you can stop and appreciate the setting. Movies don’t normally do that in the middle of scenes; I liked it.

Or when they paneled it like a comic so you can see what multiple characters are doing at once. I don’t think it was as successful during the fight scenes because there was so much going on that I had no idea what was happening. But it worked very well in the slower scenes and really highlighted those emotional beats. Like when Gwen is unpacking a bag on her bed while talking with her dad at the beginning. They split the screen so you could see a full body shot on her dad but get a close up on her reactions at the same time. That was genius.

The acting was also phenomenal. All the dialogue sounded so natural and conversational. The emotional scenes were emotional and the funny scenes were funny. Everybody served. I loved the little background comments characters would make during conversations; it sounded very realistic. I would love to see more animated movies like that.

The writing… was good. I felt like for the most part it was really strong but this is where I start having problems. I felt that most of the movie was good but the pacing in Miles' arc felt weird. After his mom gave him that speech about loving himself and not letting people make him feel like he doesn’t belong, I was like 'ok that’s what he’s going to learn in this story, that’s the moral.' But he seemed to instantly get it and not have any problems until way later. Like it could’ve been easy to start having him feel intimidated by all the other spider-people or doubt himself after seeing Gwen doing all these cool things without him. He would feel bad for a while but ultimately realize that he is special/important/loved when fighting Miguel on the train and have the confidence to tell his parents he’s spiderman after. Instead, he was confident through the whole thing, was mildly jealous of the other spidermen, had a very brief crisis of faith after the Miguel fight, but seemed to get over it really quickly when he talked with his mom? Like he was telling her how strong he was but I felt like it didn’t mean very much because even though we saw him beat up all these people, it never felt to me like he felt weak. He never doubted himself, he just did it.

But I can’t judge his arc in its entirety because it’s not finished yet. I wasn’t expecting a cliffhanger and I don’t really like it. I was excited to see him fight Spot and save his dad but it never came. I was hoping that he would tell his parents he’s spiderman, they wouldn’t believe him, he would save them from Spot with help from his new friends, him and Gwen would show Miguel it’s ok if not everything follows canon, and Miles' parents would accept him, the end. That’s what I was expecting. Instead, they started another plot line with evil Miles? Like… I’m not opposed to that, I think it’s a really interesting idea, but I don’t know how it ties into the main plot. Maybe this is what causes Miles to have a crisis of faith in the next movie? idk, we'll just have to wait and see.

The next thing is the villains. I loved Spot, he was the perfect counter to the spidermans' mid-battle banter. His introduction was so funny, his powers are really cool, and his design is unsettling; the perfect villian formula. But the one thing I wished they expanded on was his backstory. He explained how his whole life was ripped apart by Miles but it felt like a very typical villain backstory to me. I wish that we, and Miles, got to see it rather than just get told it. Like in the first movie, we saw Kingpins' family and how much he cared about them and it gave a clear motive to his actions. I want to actually see the repercussions of Miles' actions because just being told. It gives a reason for Spot's actions but it's super easy to forget and think he's being evil for the sake of being evil. I don't know where they would have included that in the movie though so maybe I'm being too harsh. Also why is he going after Miles? Peter B and Gwen were also there for the bagel incident. Until I see how Miles specifically screwed over his life, I feel like his backstory could be fleshed out a bit more.

Now I want to talk about Miles' fight with Miguel on the train. This is no fault of either of their characters or the writing in that scene, but I missed a lot of what they were saying. The battle was so fast (jumping on cars, swinging underground, flying, flashing colors, different art styles, etc) and there were so many different characters on screen that I was focusing so hard on what I was seeing that I missed most of what they were saying. This might just be a me thing, I asked my sister and she said she understood that whole scene perfectly, but I would have changed that sequence. Either slow down the chaos of the fight a bit or have the big emotional confrontation before or after the fight. It's not a major problem with the movie and probably my autism causing problems but that was an important story beat that I missed because it was a bit too busy.

The last thing I want to say is my reaction is probably affected by the fact that I went in with a bias/expectations. I know I'm seeing this movie way late and I've done my best to not spoil it for myself but you know how the internet is. I knew who Pavitr and Hobie were, I knew everyone was obsessed with them and Miguel, I knew there was an evil Miles, I knew Spot was the big bad, I knew that his dad being a police captain was a big deal. So I expected to walk out of that theater completely obsessed with a new character and immediately go home and reblog everything about them like everyone else was. That didn't happen. Pavitr and Hobie had way less screentime than I expected and Miguel... was ok. They were all really good characters with amazing designs but I didn't find myself particularly drawn to any of them. I think expecting my reaction to this movie to be as extreme as other people's was a mistake and contributed to my lack of enthusiasm leaving the theater.

It was still really good, and I definitely enjoyed it, it just didn't change my brain chemistry like I thought it would. I laughed (I laughed so much), I gasped, I felt scared, I loved the art and the blend of different mediums. I know for sure I'm watching it at least one more time, probably more, there are just a few things I would have done a bit differently. Amazing movie, very glad I watched it.

[quinnharperwrites]

The Isles of Blirrosia: Chapter Two

Taglist: @anonymousfoz, @kaiarchives, @awleeofficial, and @immortaladrien

(Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! Also, I found a proofreader!)

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“Finally! A break!” a pale, redheaded girl exclaimed. 

“You’ve only had two classes so far,” Saffron said as she sat on the grass, careful not to sit on her magenta hair. “And don’t forget you have one more today, Lai!”

Lai practically threw herself on the ground. “Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m going to be so tense without you there! Sometimes, I wish we had the same aptitude.”

“We’re both manipulators—isn’t that enough?”

“Yeah, us and 11% of the grade!”

“That isn’t a lot…”

“But if you think about it, most of the other types manipulate too. Like, physiological aptitudes manipulate physiology. Science and technology aptitudes manipulate science and technology. See what I mean?”

Well, she certainly wasn’t wrong. “Okay, I admit it, you’re right. But you took your medication this morning, right?”

“I did, I did, don’t worry, Mom. You don’t have to check all the time,” Lai groaned. “But, while we’re on the topic, how was it this morning?”

“When the police files on the guy said that he was a Stardust Absrober, I got a bit excited. But after looking at previous altercations and fighting him myself? I think I have the right to be disappointed, Lai. However,” she folded her arms, “I wasn’t there for my own entertainment. What matters is that another criminal is where he belongs, so the city is one step closer to staying safe.”

Lai snickered when she said that. “That’s the spirit! Think of it like this, Saffy-Taffy! At least you got some more hands-on practice.”

“As if she needed it,” a new voice replied. Saffron turned to see her other friend, Zain Bolton, plop on the grass across from them. “Saffron, you get so many opportunities these days. And why are we sitting on the grass in the middle of winter?”

“Don’t look at me,” Saffron said, pointing to Lai, “It was all her idea.”

“And you agreed?!”

“Yes, she did! It’s better out here than indoors anyways.” The weather had somewhat improved from the morning. The sky was now clear, and because the sun was no longer obstructed, it was feeling more temperate. “I can feel my fire pumping through my veins!”

“Better for you, maybe. And you know your aptitude doesn’t work like that, right?”

“Of course, I do, Zain! Don’t act like such a know-it-all. That’s basic information. Speaking of, can you believe that Professor Blume actually gave us this project? As freshman? At the Rosia City University of Heroics, no less.”

“Wait, what project?”

“Oh wait, you weren’t there this morning. Zain you tell her.”

“Professor Blume gave us a history project–”

“She doesn’t even teach history!”

“Shut up, Lai. As I was saying, she gave us a history project about the Pre-Modern Eras.”

“Why would we even need a project about that?! Everyone with half a brain knows the story! We’ve been in school for over 13 years and–”

“Lai, let the man speak! I wanna know how much I have to suffer.”

“Thank you, Saffron,” Zain grinned. “Anyways, we at least were able to pick which era we wanted, but we have to write a 10-paged research paper and make a PowerPoint presentation.”

“Oh hell no. What is this, high school?” Professor Blume was nefarious for assigning projects that belonged in a high school (or maybe even a middle school) class. “Okay, what are the groups?”

“That’s the worst part!” Lai yelled. “There aren’t any! She said it was strictly individual!”

“I decided to go with the Uzarian Era,” Zain declared. “It’s a long period, but it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“I’m going with the Acclimization Era. It’s only thirteen years long, so it’s an easy pass.”

“I guess that leaves me with the Readjustment Era.”

“What! Aren’t you gonna choose the same one as me?” Lai playfully whined. “We could make a pretty good team, Saffronator, don’t you think?”

“After what happened last time? No thanks. And how do you come up with all of these atrocious nicknames?”

“I’ll never tell! Anyways, you let me,” Lai smirked.

“Careful,” Saffron warned. “You’re starting to sound like a nuisance that I know all too well.”

“Oh dang. I forgot that fleabag was there with you.”

“What did he do this time, Saffron?” Zain asked.

“It certainly wasn’t as bad as it has been in the past, and it definitely wasn’t as bad as it 

could’ve been. He just asked me for coffee this time.”

“And you kicked him in the face, right?”

“Of course, she didn’t, Lai!” Zain scolded. “She obviously kicked him in the crotch.”

“I didn’t do either,” she sighed. “I said no and flew away.”

“I don’t know how you haven’t snapped at him, Saffron. I would’ve toasted him by now.”

“Yeah, and I would’ve used the remaining smoke to choke him. This guy has been harassing you nonstop since you turned eighteen. You don’t deserve this.”

“Well, I agree. But, if you did that, you both would’ve gotten a hefty fine. They might’ve even considered revoking your license.” 

“You’re right,” Zain sighed. “Not to mention, the public wouldn’t be too pleased.”

“I don’t know what they see in him if I’m being honest,” Lai started. “I mean, they treat him like an idol, at least some of them.”

It was no secret that Sensation was one of the most popular heroes ever. Definitely the most popular of their time, ever since Saffron’s parents retired.

“It’s not like there’s anything we can do about it,” Saffron replied.

“Actually, there is. Report him. You don’t owe him anything, Saffron,” Zain said firmly.

“It’s not worth it! He’s a beloved hero and a really good one, too. Blirrosia can’t afford to lose him.”

“It doesn’t matter! He keeps harassing you!” Zain retorted. “And he keeps getting into your dorm somehow. So now it’s not only you who’s suffering, but Mimi as well! Is that what she deserves? Is that what you deserve?”

“...”

“Okay, Zain. You’ve made your point. Getting heated won’t solve anything.”

“You know I’m right though.”

The trio fell silent. Zain’s smoky eyes bore into Saffron’s, staring into her soul. Eventually, she let her eyes drop to a patch of dandelion-speckled grass in front of her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Lai clench her jaw and cross her arms. She knew that the redhead hated conflict—it made her anxious. She was responsible for this, even if it was indirect. Just when she was about to respond, Zain sighed, before speaking again.

“Crap, I’m sorry, to both of you. I shouldn’t have escalated things like that.”

“No, you have a point. I just don’t see what I can do. And, not going to lie, this whole Matteo thing isn’t my biggest concern right now.” She stood up. “I have more important fish to fry.”

“I guess. I just worry for you sometimes Saffron. It seems like you’re always in the limelight, even when you don’t want to be.”

“Eh, I blame the parents,” Lai mused. “Before, it was Sabryna Solis this, Emil Solis that. Once they had kids, they practically declared the press as distant relatives.”

They all laughed. Trust Lai to make a joke to lighten the mood. “Ok,” Saffron started, “I’m going to head to my dorm, then I’ll start training early. I’ll see you two at dinner.”

“Yeah, I should get going too. I’m going to talk to Professor Zimmerman before class about my physical form. Bye,” Lai called out before walking off. 

“What about you, Zain?” Saffron asked. 

“I think I’ll stay out here a little longer. Soak up some sun.”

“What happened to you complaining about being outside?” she teased.

“No!” he protested, “I was complaining about sitting on the wet grass. Not about staying outside. Nice try, though.”

“Whatever you say, Zain. Whatever you say,” Saffron said before walking towards the dorms. “See you later!”

“Wait, Saffron!”

She paused mid-stride and turned back to face him. “Yeah?”

“I am truly sorry for being so harsh.”

“It’s fi–”

“No, it’s not. I was out of line.” He took a deep breath and looked at the sky for a moment, then made eye contact. “If…if you ever need me, I’ll be there.”

“Thanks,” Saffron smiled. “You mean a lot to me. Lai, too.”

“You deserve the best,” he said. “Both of you! I’m glad that you can call me a friend,” he rushed.

Saffron didn’t know what to say to that. She and Lai have been best friends for as long as they can remember, but they only met Zain after their first year of high school. The heartfelt turn in the conversation surprised her, even the apology left her shocked—he wasn’t wrong.

“Me too. But, you don’t have to apologize.” He was about to contradict her, but she stopped him again. “Really, it’s fine. You were right. I should be more proactive.”

“Well, I’m glad you realized that, Saffron.”

“Yeah…I’ll see you around, Zain! Thanks again.”

“Don’t worry about it, Saffy. Goodbye!”

As she was walking back inside, she felt someone watching her, so she turned around and saw Zain still looking at her; she waved and he waved back before quickly turning away. She chuckled to herself, turned back, and kept going on her way. But for some reason, the feeling didn’t subside.

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[jammingkambing]

Country of Nothings and the Privilege of Grief

This is the one where my tito dies. 

I remember many details about his death: like the color of his urn and how my tita placed his glasses beside a picture of him smiling. I remember some points less clearly. I know he died in the summer months of 2021, but I don’t know if he died in April or in May. And I forgot the exact words that my mom used when she told me that he had died— if she mentioned his COVID, or if I just made that connection myself.  What I remember best, though, is the grief.

Grief was quiet— which is not to say it was mild or gentle. It wasn’t. Grief was quiet, like how I’d lie down to sleep in a silent room only to remember that I couldn’t remember the last time that I talked to my tito. I’d be looking at my phone while I was waiting for class to start and my browser would be open to the very last philosopher that my tito recommended. I’d be sitting at my desk during an empty moment, and I’d realize that I had forgotten the sound of my tito’s laugh.

This feeling, more than anything, is what Alfonso Manalastas wants to memorialize in Country of Nothings. 

The poem itself is the record of a very specific period in Philippine history. The dramatic situation is set against the backdrop of the COVID-19 pandemic and its mounting deaths— thus the running count of fifteen hundred and one, hundred and two— joined with the shutdown of the ABS-CBN corporation. Here, then, is a Filipino who is trying to find meaning in the mismanagement of a country. Here is a persona who is trying to make sense of senseless deaths, rationalizing an irrationality and realizing what a privilege it is to still be here, to breathe and enjoy this grief. In telling this, the poem juxtaposes the story of an individual sadness with the tragedy of an entire country: Headlines looking more and more like obituaries / Staggering from their appointed places on the paper. 

This piece revolves around historicity. Every death and every pitch-black TV is caused by a national event or an international pandemic, respectively, and so the poem repeats, You recount the dead until you fumble over the math… You recount the dead until you fumble over the myth because these are not new events. This is not the first time that our country has experienced the crippling of free speech or the spread of a deadly virus, and it will not be the last, if only because history bears repetition.

However, for all that the poem is grounded in its context, its language explores the timelessness of mourning. On the streets, / more nothing. And from nothingness, you muster / nothing. The sensation of emptiness is not exclusive to the year 2020. Ever since injustice and ever since war and ever since illness, people have suffered loss and recounted the dead, but Manalastas' greatest achievement here is writing grief in the vernacular of this time and in the voice of this people while still retaining the universal numbness of death. And when they try to devour us with a hunger / so infinite, we will wholly surrender to them nothing.

So the poem ends with a surrender— which is itself a kind of silence. I find this fitting, if only because silence is another response to grief. Sitting in the dark until the numbers blur and your TV becomes static. Lying on a bed and trying to reconstruct a voice using fragments of memories. 

I'll tell you now that, in my better moments, I believe in an afterlife. I'm a Christian, which means that most of the time I like the idea of heaven and I look forward to the day when I ascend and I can finally ask my tito, Why did you leave me? And he'd give me the answer that I'm waiting for.

In my worse moments, though, I imagine asking that same question and receiving no reply. Nothing but the hum of a broken TV, and my grief left unanswered— as if to say that there are far worse things than the quiet.

A/N: The full text of Alfonso Manalastas' Country of Nothings was published in 2021 in Cha: An Asian Literary Journal over here in this link. Also, this is just my English homework. Hi, Sir Andy!

[tornrose24]

Heyo! So for the recent ask meme, can you do numbers 1, 9 and 14 for the Spiderman/marvel movies please?

Ok I’m doing one for the Spiderman movies and one for the MCU in general because that’s how I’m interpreting that question. For that ask meme.

For spiderman films

1-   I was a kid when the first Tobey Maguire film came out and by that point I was familiar with Spiderman through the cartoons that I saw. I remember seeing that film with my dad and a friend in elementary school. Ironically I guess I wasn’t a huge fan enough to see any of the other movies right when they were in the movie theaters until No Way Home came out, so there was some personal significance for me seeing that film and how it bridged back to my childhood. (I’m not counting Civil War, Infinity War, or Endgame in this case).

9–If we are grouping all the films together (where a Spiderman is the main character)…. It’s a toss up between Mysterio and J Jonah Jameson from the Tom!Spiderman films. Mysterio ruined Peter’s life out of a petty revenge scheme that he wouldn’t even live to see. Not to mention that there’s people in real life like him which makes his character far scarier than you’d think. MCU!Jameson…. Well he’s basically the Alex Jones of the MCU and was willing to give away the privacy of a teenager because of his hatred of Spiderman. And then the dick decided to trail Peter for a chunk of the film just for something to incriminate him with. And the fact that he was making a fortune off of this was disgusting (same with Flash, but no one was believing him in that case). If the deleted scenes were canon, Max’s mom would count too, given how awful she is.

14.  This is a tough one. All three versions of Peter have had a great character arc, especially if you use NWH as a way to conclude the arcs of both Tobey!Peter and Andrew!Peter. All three versions of Peter have to go through so much tragedy and suffering. Tobey!Peter has to struggle the balance of being himself and as Spiderman almost constantly, Andrew!Peter is haunted by his past (and past mistakes) and Tom!Peter is struggling to figure out what he wants and who he wants to be as a hero. And it’s all the sweeter when they are able to find closure or the answer to their issues. Of course I’m not satisfied with how NWH had to end for Tom!Peter and I hope they give him a happy ending in a future film.

Most of the villains themselves have interesting character arcs because at the end of the day they all were people who were dealt a horrible hand or suffered a loss. I still enjoy Otto’s arc out of all of them–he paid one price too many for a moment of arrogance and was swayed into a goal that was doomed to fail, but in the end choose to do the right thing despite the sacrifices required. And No Way Home took that up another notch by him choosing of his own free will to help Peter (instead of sitting out the final fight and not risk loosing the life he regained), which showed who he truly was as a person. Max is a close second given all he went through and I hope he was able to live a better life after NWH and was able to get some justice back in his world.

For the MCU films in general

1-I saw Iron Man when it first came out and I had no idea what it was going to lead to. (Though the last 30 seconds was a huge shock considering how it changed up the superhero genre by breaking the ‘secret identity’ rule.) I think Avengers truly cemented that enjoyment of the MCU for me when it was clear that those early films were leading to something that you’d think would never happen on the big screen. (Not enough to see ALL the films in theaters or all the shows though. I’m not that insane.) 

9-Oh boy I’ll need to narrow this one down. (Not including Spiderman characters).

-Thanos for killing half the universe and being an abusive dad.

-Ego for similar reasons.

-General Dreykov for what he did to all those girls and women (and his daughter) and for being disgusting in general.

-Zeus. F*** Zeus. He honestly wondered why people were looking up to superheroes instead of gods in the MCU? What an idiot.

-General Ross for various reasons.

Show wise, it’s–

-Marc Spector’s mom for being abusive.

-ALL OF INTELLIGENCIA. F*** those guys. Bruce would have been pissed if he knew what they did to his cousin.

I’m pretty sure there’s a few more, but they aren’t coming to me.

14. Christ there’s quite a few. I’ve had the most enjoyment with Thor, Nebula, and Shuri.

-I enjoy how Thor had to learn to be humble and not be rash in order to be a good hero. Though there were a few… unfortunate bumps… he has gone from a war loving God to a selfless, compassionate God worth putting one’s faith into.

–Nebula has the best redemption arc out of all the MCU villains. She had a shitty upbringing and it was only when she confronted her sister about her feelings that she could start going down a better path. Not only was she able to find people who cared about her and understood her, but she was able to both overcome her past and be a part of defeating her father for good. I can’t wait to see how her story concludes.

-Shuri was a character whose route none of us were expecting, given the tragic real life circumstances that shaped the second Black Panther film. I love this science/inventor princess who was capable of fighting alongside her brother…. But her journey in Wakanda Forever was intense. She was in mourning and grieving the loss of her brother, had to lose so much in that film, and almost followed the path of her cousin, which really concerned me. But she was able to overcome that anger, was able to find closure, and properly earn the mantle of the Black Panther (as I was hoping she would, especially given she had that role in the comics).