#I legitimately can't understand how proper socialization works | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

runespoor7 · 11 months ago

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I saw a couple people wonder “what about JGY” and “what about JGY and NMJ”, and the thought wouldn't leave me alone.

It would be different depending on whether JZX was at the path or not. If he was, JGY will be able to utilize the growing coldness between JZX and his father to ingratiate himself further, so that's good for him. In the AU I described, however, I think JZX wasn't there, and so he and JYL are still at Jinlintai. (This is relevant to my JC characterization in that AU.)

For further context, I don’t remember a scene in novel canon where JGY is kept from holding JL, so that doesn’t happen. JGY is made to be in a position to hold bb!JL by JZX; Madam Jin never relinquishes JL to him but that’s unsurprising; JGS rarely holds his grandson either (and never misses an opportunity to make JGY feel unwelcome.)

My usual reading of the text is that JGS dies because his actions resulted in JGY committing unknowing, unwilling incest. That violation of the social rules of family, the fact that because of his father JGY is already “outside” of the proper moral/social order of family, is what allows JGY to kill him. That’s what I’m going with here too. JGY isn't married yet, so...

this got too long

with LXC gone, there’s no-one left to play the world's worst mediator between NMJ and JGY. This is a very weird time between the two of them, but they bond over 100% agreeing that something must be done against LXC’s murderer. JGY doesn't have the pull to get to WWX in Cloud Recesses (LWJ has very different relations to his brother's sworn brothers than NHS would. What's a JGY. Why are you talking to me. NMJ is on thin ice but he does start with a higher LWJ-acceptance ratio at least), and NMJ refuses to assassinate WWX when LWJ has already taken his decision and imprisoned him. It’s not what NMJ would have chosen himself, but it is fitting of the Lans. LXC would have okayed that.

2. This also means that when JGS asks JGY to remove his sworn brother due to NMJ making a fuss about XY, JGY can argue that NMJ was okay with WWX surviving! (NMJ doesn't like that, even though what LWJ retorted in public about WWX’s actions being different from XY stands) they proceed to have the world’s most ill-advised angry kiss.

Neither of them deals particularly well!

JGY has sex issues! Cutsleeve sex would make him lose so many points with his father! NMJ is mortified that somehow hostility turned into acting on desire! (“but it’s not like this is bc of the hostility, you already thought he was attractive when he worked for you” okay but that makes it worse, you do understand how that makes it worse right? “he’s no longer under you tho also he’s your sworn brother you're basically equals” first of all phrasing, second of all NMJ isn't listening to this.)

3. Also JGY did not get access to a handy poison/assassination technique, so getting rid of NMJ for his father is, hm. Not doable. It's too early in the timeline for JGY to consider removing his father (he’s not married to Qin Su yet, he doesn't know about the surprise incest, there is no way he will patricide if his father). So it is legitimately a terrible time for Jin “I can do everything on my own and if a solution involves even the slightest social loss on my part it doesn’t exist” Guangyao. Can't remove his father, can't remove NMJ. (He considers having NMJ poisoned the regular way, maybe by having someone sell Huaisang “medicine” for his brother that would aggravate his condition in the medium term, but he abandons it because it’s just not direct enough, and the problem with WQ being alive is that NHS might tantrum that she checks on NMJ’s health.)

That leaves solving the inciting incident, preferably in a way that won't still have his father demanding to get NMJ out of the way afterwards. XY must go. To ensure that, the trick is to create a situation where there’s no possibility but for XY to die.

JGY isn’t that motivated by keeping XY around since he asked a few vague questions about whether it would be at all possible to maybe possibly bring back someone, and XY laughed. (JGY meant LXC, which he may not have been aware of, but XY’s reaction rubbed him the worst way, so.)

For this JGY brings in JZX. JZX, it should be noted, disagreed with his father in private about what should be done with XY, but the assurance that he’ll be imprisoned/watched/etc (is it so different from what the Lans are doing with WWX?) mellowed him out.

It’s literally just a matter of engineering a situation where XY acts out against/around the wrong person (JZX the heir; JYL his wife) and XY getting cut down in real time. JGY is aiming for JZX because there’s less risk of JZX being wounded than JYL; he has nothing against his sister-in-law and she would be in actual danger.

4. What happens is that XY sees the trap when it’s sprung and turns against JGY, who gets skewered right and proper. Whoops. Embarrassing. To his pained astonishment, JZX rushes to him shouting for help instead of doing away with XY, who gets away in the confusion.

5. JGY comes back to in his bed. NHS is by his side. From outside the room, JZX is shouting at his father that he’d told his father that XY could not be kept alive, he tried to kill JGY, if JGY hadn’t been there XY might have got to JYL or JL. It’s very dramatic, JGY is properly stunned, but he doesn’t really understand why NHS is here?...

NHS replies that his brother regrets not being able to make the trip, so NHS came instead. To see how JGY is doing. Now that JGY is awake again, he can call JZX back - this is an argument that JZX has been trying to have with his father for days apparently. Days? oh, yes, JGY was out for four days.

JZX rushes back in, thanks JGY profusely. Again, JGY is a little stunned by JZX’s certainty that JGY been hurt protecting JZX’s wife and child, but he’s *sure not going to say otherwise*. (NHS is the one who commented something that allowed JZX to reach this conclusion when JGY was out cold.)

6. (this is JGY, of course he’s going to cheat, pay no attention) JGY is a little hurt that NMJ wasn’t there, after all. He shouldn’t, there’s no reason - except that JGY apparently does think they’re still sworn brothers for real. This is all very confusing. His plan didn’t go exactly the way he wanted re:XY, but with that drama the social dynamics of Jinlintai have been altered. JZX is the rising star now, his influence growing everyday, and JGS’s decisions no longer go unquestioned - and JGY is firmly attached to JZX’s social sphere. His… brother is constanty asking JGY for advice. His sister-in-law has told Madam Jin that she considers JGY her son’s uncle.

Still, after a few weeks of no word from NMJ but visits from NHS and the growing, sinking suspicion of what must have happened to NMJ, for NMJ not to be breaking down JGS’s door bellowing about leaving XY alive… JGY goes to the Cloud Recesses.

Respectfully asks the sect leader (who is a bit of an ass and demands as much respect as before the Lans lost some of their influence, under his leadership) for permission to borrow their Wen prisoner, the doctor, and bring her to Qinghe, to see to Sect Leader Nie’s health.

In Qinghe NHS explains that LQR is staying over to perform musical cultivation for NMJ. (LQR is throwing himself into saving NMJ the way he couldn’t save LXC. It’s apparent to JGY that something of an odd friendship, or kinship, has grown between LQR and NHS. The loss of a nephew and the threatened loss of an elder brother.)

NMJ wakes up, and smiles when he sees JGY.

There is again an extremely emotional showdown, NMJ admits that he couldn’t stand losing JGY like he lost LXC, praises JGY for his bravery, JGY admits that he was scared of losing NMJ as well. They have emotional sex. (Later, NMJ might say that he thinks JGY acted against XY as a calculation, but - he shrugs - that was good thinking. It was a good thing to get rid of XY anyway.)

XY is still definitely around so that might be a problem for someone at some point, but he made it out of this story alive! And I gotta tell you, I didn’t think he would.

For the ask meme, au where wwx kills lxc at qiangpi path instead of jzx.

Or gender swap jc au.

Ok, so it took me a while to think this over, because there’s a lot here, and then talking it over with @demoiselledefortune I realized there’s even more than I thought! (still thinking about the genderswap jc one)

Also, poor, poor LWJ. 🙁 (LQR doesn't bear thinking about. That poor, poor man. I don't talk about LQR under the cut because it's too sad for me to contemplate.)

1) So the thing is, this isn’t a noticeably better accidental killing for WWX, because while the Lans may be less the powerhouse than the Jins, JGS will definitely try and use LXC’s death to turn against WWX. And it’s going to be stupidly easy, because LXC was a sect leader and the sworn brother of his son.

(I assume LXC was there because he was invited to JL’s 100 days ceremony and his passing there was a coincidence, while in canon he was already at Jinlintai. So maybe JZX is still in Jinlintai here, the confrontation happening earlier and thus before JZX departed; or JZX is here as well as he was in canon, and LXC was the one running late - in which case, JZX is alive and a witness and might speak up on WWX’s behalf at least to his wife and his BIL, at least to tell them that it seemed an accident. This turns out not to have much of an impact on the grand scale of things OR on JYL and JC’s understanding of what happened, bc they already trust WWX so much, but it does have an impact on JZX’s view of the world and himself. This is less about WWX than it is about politics in general and his father in specific. In that version he’s much more in-the-middle of things, much more aware of being personally dismissed. In that version there’s a chance he and JYL go live in LP.)

Besides the Jins, there’s also NMJ, who is a big fan of his sworn brothers not getting killed and of not shielding people from the consequences of their actions. Just putting it out there where we can see it. On the other hand, they’re not LXC’s most direct family. LWJ and the Lans are, so NMJ lets LWJ take point.

(There's a version of this prompt where NMJ qi-deviates when he hears about LXC's death. In that timeline should WWX get killed NHS' plans never feature bringing him back.)

2) Know for whom LXC dying instead of JZX changes things a lot, though? WQ and WN. When they decide to surrender themselves, they go to Cloud Recesses, not Jinlintai. LWJ and his sect I feel wouldn't punish WQ for LXC’s death. She wasn't there.

(WN, otoh, is very done for. There is no way GSL pulls a Jin to keep him around. He's a fierce corpse and the one who killed their sect leader at that. They execute him/lay his soul to rest. There's no further desacration of WN and that's probably the bitterest comfort WQ could hope for. WQ does try to shield WN when she realizes the Lans aren't planning on executing her, but she doesn't get that.)

WQ would easily get a promise of safety from LWJ for at least A-Yuan, probably Granny, maybe the others - on the sterner end of the scale for the adult cultivators. This is somewhat dependent on what JGS (and NMJ) are clamoring for but JGS wants the Stygian Seal more than he does the Wens and NMJ would be satisfied with the Lans supervising the fate of the Wen remnants. Besides, the most high-profile of the Wen remnants is WQ and she just surrendered herself. WN would say WWX isn’t responsible for LXC’s death, it was a freak resentful energy accident–

3) I think what LWJ does demand about WWX is... that WWX be given over to Gusu Lan. They can lock him up. And purify him of the resentful energy.

LWJ is in a frankly abysmal mental space - it’s only because his cultivation is so orthodox that he doesn't qi deviate. It’s all tearing him up, LXC’s death because of the guy LWJ has a crush on, LWJ’s want for WWX and LWJ’s wish that he could (imitate his father) bring someone back to CR and lock them up and LWJ suddenly being in the horrendous situation where he is imitating his father. The memory of the kiss is now a nightmare. It was always a mixed memory (how shameful, to lose control of himself thus - to take advantage of the one he loved - to lack even the courage to simply ask, either for the kiss, or at least for forgiveness) but now it makes him retch.

It's all twisted in the fact that LXC is dead, because of WWX. There can be nothing between LWJ and WWX now. Simply wishing there could be would be the worst betrayal.

(LWJ remembers the days of their youth, LXC’s delight and gentle teasing at LWJ’s inexplicable liking of WWX. The Water Abyss. And now LXC is dead, because of the boy he was so happy LWJ wanted for a friend. LXC always wanted LWJ to have friends, something akin to his own friendship with NMJ.)

0) (the Problem. The Problem is that I cannot see WWX staying in the Cloud Recesses if he's imprisoned there. If he wouldn't rather die at first, he will afterwards. LWJ thinks of his mother. If WWX dies LWJ would enter seclusion like his father once did. This isn’t something LWJ tells himself consciously.)

4) JC and JYL visit WWX in the Cloud Recesses while he's imprisoned there. JC hates LWJ for it, but I think he's self-aware enough to think “what if it had been Jiejie.” It’s hard to hate LWJ wholeheartedly.

5) WQ is in Cloud Recesses, too. She’ll never live outside the Cloud Recesses again, but it could have been far worse. She’s allowed time with A-Yuan (she is not in forced seclusion and neither is she A-Yuan’s mother but LWJ cannot let himself see them together, or else he starts to think of how she isn’t allowed to raise her kin herself.)

When it comes out *pretty damn early* that WWX doesn’t have a core, she’s the one who implies WZL got him.

(JC is in LWJ’s office clamoring, begging for WWX to be released into the care of YMJ in a hot minute after he finds out - which takes at least one or two visits, because no-one wrote to tell him, and it takes him asking a question about how getting WWX rid of resentful energy and not letting go when the answer’s too cagey to his taste for him to know. If it were just LWJ– but LWJ has elders. plus there’s also LXC’s sworn brothers to contend with; LWJ isn’t thinking of that, and JC will think of it later, after LWJ has refused to return WWX to YMJ.) JC is so so so angry at everyone involved - WWX for *lying to him*, why didn’t you *tell me*, I would have *helped* - WQ for hiding it from him AND not telling him when she told the Lans (to which she retorts that she isn’t exactly allowed a free correspondence. Hmph. Okay. JC allows that. WQ has negative scruples about lying to him about the core rn.) - LWJ for keeping WWX a prisoner here even though WWX is, is, WWX isn’t a cultivator anymore he’s a normal person let YMJ watch over him, let JC - even JYL for having something else in her life that she loves, that isn’t WWX locked up in another sect.

WQ is also the one who sees when WWX is seriously at risk of his life just fading away, and this time she tells JC: if WWX doesn’t get out, he will die.

The fic ends with WQ and JC breaking WWX out of the Cloud Recesses (it’s implied LWJ is looking the other way). WQ stays in CR, of course, but JC is taking WWX to Lotus Pier. There’s no plan for “later”.

#mdzs #ask answered #is this shmoop #oh wait is it hurt/comfort #also note for the future jgy doesn't marry qs bc jgy doesn't NEED to marry qs for Familial Social Points in this AU!#(not that he didn't love her in canon. but the Familial Social Points and Expectations were definitely part of this love.)#nieyao #jin family

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master-sass-blast · 3 years ago

Text

Traditions Worth Keeping.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five: Chapter One, Part Five: Chapter Two, Part Five: Chapter Three, Part Six: Chapter One, Part Six: Chapter Two, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten

Summary: "It’s a beautiful late summer’s day in Republic City, perfect for enjoying the many attractions she has to offer --including an exhibition on Water Tribe culture at the Republic City Museum of History and Culture.

The city’s so much like your girlfriend --and part of you feels giddy that you get to call her your girlfriend now--Lin. She’s resolute like the countless glittering skyscrapers and the rest of the metalwork that makes up the city’s bones. She’s clearly taken inspiration from the monochromatic colors of Republic City in her wardrobe and interior decorating. She seems to never sleep; something’s always going on in her mind, and you’ve seen her sit and do nothing fewer times than you have fingers on your hands. She…

She’s here.

You blink, eyes widening in recognition when you spot Lin further on in the exhibit, admiring a Water tribe warrior’s shield. Oh. Imagine that."

AKA You and Lin follow sapphic traditions and go on an unplanned date that spans several hours.

Pairing(s): Lin Beifong x Reader.

Rating: G. This is just fluff.

Word Count: 6.2k.

Update Time:

I am finally on the roster to get some physical therapy. Hopefully, the center my doctor's referring me to will contact me in the next few weeks, and I'll be able to get started on proper recovery.

However, I'm not working on my shoulder. I can manage/limp my shoulder along with chiropractic treatment, heat, stretching, and rest. In the past month, however, I realized that my chronic, searing, life long back pain is Not Normal and Not A Normal Human Experience (which my parents and I think dates back to the second grade, when I fell out of a hayloft). My back pain is legitimately wrecking my mobility, ability to exercise, ability to sit in fucking chairs (I can sit in only one literal actual chair without being in immense pain, I shit you not). So yeah.

Updates will still probably be slow. But my shoulder can wait. My back can't. I need to have a fucking life.

Thank you all for your patience, understanding, and continued support. It means more than you'll ever know.

I hope you're all doing well and staying safe.

When you’re a kid, no one ever warns you about weekends.

In social construct, they’re supposed to be a reprieve from the work week. A chance to rest, to spend time partaking in hobbies that otherwise get squeezed into the scant hours between coming home and going to bed.

Except no one warns you how much time chores take. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, more cleaning, paying bills, doing dishes, shopping, still more cleaning, mending clothes, sweeping, how is there still more fucking cleaning! Of course, it’s not all terrible, but you could still do without all the cleaning.

This weekend, though, you’re on top of all your chores (for once). It’s a beautiful late summer’s day in Republic City, perfect for enjoying the many attractions she has to offer --including an exhibition on Water Tribe culture at the Republic City Museum of History and Culture.

Maybe you’re a patriot. Or maybe you’re just homesick. Either way, seeing the mannequins in blue, fur-trimmed garb and the exhibits showcasing the evolution of technology in the tribes brings you a sense of completeness. Of peace.

The one downside of Republic City, you reflect as you shuffle along, admiring various displays through the glass window panes separating the exhibits from the crowd. Everything’s shades of gray. You smile serenely at a collection of decorative pots from the tribe; they’re made from strips of blue cloth woven around bone frames, and you know from experience that the insides are lined with leather to keep things from spilling out. It’s nice to see a pop of color every now and then.

She’s here.

You blink, eyes widening in recognition when you spot Lin further on in the exhibit, admiring a Water tribe warrior’s shield. Oh. Imagine that.

She’s dressed in civvies --dark gray slacks, white button down shirt, keeping with that Republic City color palette--and has a leather satchel slung across her body. She’s reading an informational placard, brows furrowed slightly in concentration.

Oh no, she’s cute. You grin to yourself, amused --as is often the case--by your own mirth.

And then you’re struck by a conundrum: should I go join her?

You’d like to. You like spending time with Lin, and it’s not like the two of you get a bunch of time together outside of seeing each other at one another’s apartments. Besides, you’ve certainly got a pretty good excuse; you’re pretty sure girlfriends are allowed to approach each other unannounced in public without being rude.

But you don’t want to bug her. And you know she doesn’t get much time away from her job. For all you know, she could’ve deliberately planned today to have some alone time. To clear her head. The last thing you want to do is crowd her.

Before you can make up your mind, the universe decides for you.

Lin notices you. She glances in your direction --probably years of cop instincts telling her she’s being watched. She blinks, then straightens as recognition flashes across her face. And then she smiles faintly. Lifts her hand in a subtle wave.

I’m going to die. She’s too cute. She was already beyond sexy, how is she also cute? You take a deep breath to calm yourself, then wave back before ambling over to where she’s standing (because it’d probably be weirder to ignore her now that she’s seen you). “Hey. Wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

“Could say the same to you.”

You smile and shrug –but before you can explain why you’re here, or ask her for her thoughts on the exhibit, or do anything, she leans over and kisses you on the cheek.

Every single fiber of your being freezes, then erupts into sweltering, flustered warmth. Butterflies erupt in your stomach. You duck your head, but that still does little to hide the pleased –if nervous–smile stretching across your face. When you manage to look back up, you realize Lin’s watching you with a soft, fond smile. You inhale deeply to steady yourself, then clear your throat and nod to the exhibit –a preserved priestess’s dress from the Northern Water Tribe, circa 364 BG. “Didn’t take you as a Water Tribe culture enthusiast.”

“I grew up with it, in a way,” she says, turning to admire the purple robes, dress, and bone jewelry once more. “Aunt Katara usually took care of my sister and I whenever mom and Uncle Aang were busy. It was a part of my childhood, even if only in a tangential way.”

“Oh. Cool.” You mentally kick yourself for your awkward response –but you honestly keep forgetting that she was raised by a literal war hero and the first Police Chief of Republic City. Even without being the current Chief, she’d still be the toast of the town. “Did you ever go ice floe dodging?”

She chuckles. “Not in the traditional sense –but Uncle Sokka and Uncle Aang tried to take all us kids one summer and use the rocks around Air Temple Island to recreate the experience.”

You wince. “I don’t see that ending near as well.”

“We thought it was great –especially when Aang used his airbending to lift the ship out of the water and land it on the island.” She grins when you laugh, then adds, “In hindsight, he did it because it was the only way to avoid having the ship smash into the rocks.”

You laugh. “Oh, shit!”

She chuckles along, then shakes her head. “Us kids thought it was great. Aunt Katara and mom were… less enthused.”

“I can imagine.”

Lin chuckles again, then eyes you with a curious smile. “Here to express some patriotism?”

“You got me,” you admit with a light laugh. You turn to admire the ceremonial garb, prompting nostalgia and wistfulness to well up in your chest. “I mean –I love Republic City; it’s my home. But… sometimes I miss snow, you know?”

She arches one eyebrow, smirking, and crosses her arms over her chest. “It snows here in the winter.”

You roll your eyes but smile all the same (which gets a chuckle out of Lin). “Well, if you want to be literal about it.” You turn your attention back to the exhibit, pausing to admire the embroidery on the front, collar, and cuffs of the robe. “But it’s still different from the Northern Water Tribe. Up there, our culture –our legacy–is everywhere. Like this.” You gesture to the priestess’s garb. “Everything about this is intentional. It’s a story of our history. Our ancestors. Our blood. And, granted, Republic City is a melting pot –and I love it–so it’s not going to have a unified cultural image, but…” You sigh, then shrug. “I don’t know. Something about all the buildings being less… descript. It’s like the city’s closed off from itself.”

“I get what you mean,” Lin says, nodding along. She studies the dress for a moment, then adds, “But it’s nice, sometimes. The anonymity.”

“Yeah,” you agree with an emphatic sigh. “Yeah, that’s true.”

The two of you fall silent for a long moment, simply content to admire the ceremonial robes and with each other’s company.

“I didn’t think there’d be women priestesses back in the old 360’s,” Lin comments after a bit. At your confused frown, she nods to the dress. “That’s a woman’s dress and robe; it’s obvious from the cut. But –well, the Northern Water Tribe didn’t exactly let women learn all aspects of waterbending until recently. I wouldn’t think there would’ve been women spiritual leaders.”

“Well, that’s because the dress and robe were for name day rituals,” you explain, gesturing to the mannequin. “See how small the embroidered koi fish and waves are? Along with the number of new moons? It’s meant to symbolize the beginning of an infant’s journey; it’s usually performed a couple weeks after birth, so long as the baby’s healthy.”

Lin nods, making a noise of understanding –then frowns again. “And they let women preside over that back then?”

The corner of your mouth turns up in a smirk. “Well, it was also a ritual healing ceremony –a way of ensuring the baby’s body and spirit were healthy and ready to begin the journey of life with the Tribe.”

Lin nods, tsking. “‘Women’s work.’”

“Precisely.” You rock back on your heels, studying the dress and robes in all their implications –then smile. “But we’ve come a long way since then.”

Lin nods once, short and decisive. “Undoubtedly.” She eyes you for a moment, then asks, “Did you only come here for the Water Tribe exhibit?”

“Mostly,” you admit, shrugging. “What about you?”

“I like to come here every few months, see what’s new. The curators keep a good rotation of exhibits in play to keep public interest.”

“Smart. Good business strategy.” You nod along, at a loss for what else to say –and you can feel your time together coming to an end; there’s only so long one can stare at the same ceremonial garb, and while you don’t want to keep Lin here on end, you don’t want to stop basking in her warmth and attention, not just yet–

“Were there any other exhibits you wanted to see?”

Lin’s question jolts you out of your reverie. You blink, caught flat-footed as your brain crashes down from ‘Pining Daydream Land.’ “Oh –uh–not really. Like you said…” You gesture lamely at the exhibit, then let out a nervous giggle. “Patriotism.”

Lin smirks, then nods towards the exit that leads back to the museum’s main hall. “There’s an exhibit on Earth Kingdom armaments I was going to look at.”

…And time’s up. “Oh, by all means!” You plaster on a cheery smile –the last thing you want to do is guilt her into spending more time with you. “Don’t let me keep you.”

Lin blinks, then rubs the back of her neck. “Oh… I was –if you wanted to come with–”

“Oh.” Your eyes widen. “I mean–”

“But you don’t want to if you don’t have to–”

“No! I mean yes! I mean–” You purse your lips together to stop yourself from falling all over yourself, face warming when Lin cracks a small, endeared smile. “I’d love to –I just didn’t want to assume. Or intrude.”

Lin’s expression softens –and then she takes your hand and interlocks her fingers with yours. “You’re not intruding.”

Suddenly, you can’t fathom why you thought you were going to die all those times Lin fucked you into a mattress, or cut off your airflow with her thighs while you ate her out, or called you “babygirl” in that maddening, husky, sexy voice of hers; no, because none of that compares right now, with her looking at your like you’re precious and giving you an explicit invitation into her free time that isn’t sex. The only thing she’s getting out of this is your companionship, which means she actually has to enjoy it to want it.

She likes you.

And, with that, your heart’s going to explode.

You take a deep breath, manage to regulate your body enough that your poor little heart doesn’t erupt in your chest cavity and suddenly make everything very awkward, then grin. “Lead the way, Beifong.” As you follow her out towards the main hall, you grin up at her and nudge her with your shoulder. “Regale me with your expertise on ancient Earth Kingdom armaments.”

Lin chuckles and squeezes your hand. “I’ll do my best.”

***

It’s noon by the time the two of you leave the museum; the sun’s high in the sky, signaling another hot late summer’s day for Republic City.

“I’m glad I ran into you,” you say as you and Lin walk down the wide granite steps outside the museum’s entrance. You smile when Lin glances over at you. “I had a good time.”

She smiles back, eyes crinkling at the corners, and squeezes your hand. “So have I.”

(You’re gonna die. Your heart can’t take any more of this excitement, this softness. It’s barely hanging onto the ropes at the edge of the ring, begging your brain to let it tap out while your giddiness keeps beating it over the back with a wooden club.)

“Did you have any other plans for today?” Your voice catches up with your brain a few seconds too late –and then it registers what you just asked the woman holding your hand, and your heart curses you as it wheezes and sputters for mercy.

Lin shrugs. “Not necessarily. What about you?”

“Eh, not much. I was gonna run a few errands, maybe stop in one of the parks and enjoy some fresh air…” Your voice trails off as you mull over your to-do list –and then your stomach chimes in with a profound gurgle. “...But, apparently, lunch is coming first.”

“Are you ever not hungry?” Lin asks with a grin.

“I like food!” you laugh. “Sue me!”

Lin smirks and shakes her head –then slows, giving you enough time to register the difference in her stride before she stops at the base of the museum steps. “There’s a good spot not too far from here called The Salty Stewhouse. They offer good traditional Water tribe food. It’s only a couple blocks away; we could grab a bite, if you want.”

We. We. We. We. We.

You grin dreamily, heart thumping faster against its will when Lin grins back with equal adoration. “I’d love that.”

***

The Salty Stewhouse turns out to be a cozy, quiet spot tucked between a dry cleaning shop and a multi-story, stone-built apartment complex. The wooden floors are worn but conspicuously clean, as is the stone bar top lined with padded stools. A few small tables with chairs are clustered towards the back of the shop, whereas the front is dominated by a handwritten menu hanging over the bartop and a glass display case that shows off various pastries and other goodies.

What’s better, they have penguin seal blubber sandwiches and Northern Water Tribe style sea prune stew on their menu.

“Is there really that much variation between provincial recipes?” Lin asks while the two of you wait in line to order your lunches, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. She chuckles when you give her a flat look. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Look, the Southern version is fine,” you acquiesce in the interest of being egalitarian. “But when you’ve been raised on a specific recipe, sometimes you want that specific taste of home.”

“Fair enough.” She pauses to step forward, then asks, “What’s the difference?”

“Acidity versus earthiness; Northern Water Tribe recipes call for pickling the sea prunes and using some of the brine in the broth. Southern Water Tribe recipes usually call for letting the prunes ferment for a few weeks first.” You shrug, nonplussed. “Not bad –but not what I associate with traditional sea prune stew, either.” The two of you place your orders –a penguin seal blubber and egg sandwich with a cup of Northern Water Tribe style sea prune stew for you, squid ink noodle stir fry with extra crispy mushrooms and braised komodo chicken for Lin–and then you follow Lin back to one of the tables tucked away from the entrance and front counter. “How’d you know about this place?”

“It’s been here for a few decades now,” Lin says. She pulls out your chair for you, then helps push it back in before sitting across the table from you. “My first patrol partner introduced me to it. It was open twenty-four seven, had fast service, which made it a good place to grab a sandwich and a coffee on the graveyard shift.”

You smile softly. “Makes sense.” Part of you feels special for her having brought you here; it’s clearly a favorite spot of hers, some place important –maybe even secret, given that her partner showed it to her, which means that it might be a favored haunt for the police force.

And now she’s showing it to you. Because you’re her girlfriend.

You smile to yourself, then unwrap your sandwich while Lin adds hot sauce to her noodles. You take a bite of the sandwich and close your eyes, chewing blissfully as the rich, meaty, smoky flavors of the meat and fat coats your tongue. You swallow, then lift your cup of stew to your lips and slurp down some of the broth.

Lin smirks when you let out a pleased groan. “That good?”

“It’s all about balance; the acid and salinity helps cut the fat. Makes for a flavor explosion.” You waggle your eyebrows, then grin when Lin chuckles. “Wanna try the stew?”

“Sure.” She catches the cup when you push it across the table to her, then loads the spoon with broth, chunks of sea prune, and bits of kelp before lifting it to her lips. She blows on the spoonful to cool it –then down the hatch. Her eyes widen, and she blinks a few times before swallowing. “Whoa.”

You laugh softly and take your bowl and spoon back. “Not what you’re used to?”

“Not remotely.” She shakes her head, then resumes mixing her noodles and vegetables with her chopsticks. “Aunt Katara definitely made the Southern version.” She takes a bite of her own food, chews, swallows, then adds. “But it’s not bad. Just… different.”

You nod, smiling, then lift your sandwich in a ‘cheers’ gesture. “And so life goes.”

Lin smiles, then nods back. “So it does.”

***

The two of you take your time with lunch. You eat slowly, savor your food, enjoy talking with each other and relaxing. You swap stories –Lin regales you with a few tales about her early days as a patrol cop (and later as a detective), and you tell her about other Water Tribe traditions.

She tips her head back and laughs, bright and brilliant, when you tell her about burying your father in an avalanche when he’d try to teach you offense-based waterbending. “Okay, I don’t think that’s a tradition,” she teases, shaking her head in amusement. “I think that was you looking for an excuse to bury your dad in snow.”

You shrug, grinning. “I don’t know. I feel as though it’d be a common desire among young waterbenders. Possibly a base-level instinct.” When she shakes her head again, you laugh. “Oh, come on! Don’t tell me you didn’t revel in managing to knock your bending instructors on their asses when you were younger.”

She considers for a moment, then shrugs. “Fair enough.” She sets her chopsticks in her empty bowl, then leans back in her seat. Her gaze goes distant with recollection. “Didn’t ever quite manage that with mom, though.”

You mirth fades as you watch her expression shift into something troubled, more closed off. You watch her for a few moments –and when she doesn’t say anything further, you reach across the table and place your hand on hers. “Got any fun plans for the rest of the day?”

Lin blinks a few times, then inhales as her gaze sharpens again. She slides her fingers between yours as she considers your question, then shakes her head. “Nothing specific. Planned on hitting up a local bookshop, then stopping in Kyoshi Park to do some sketching.”

“I didn’t know you drew!”

Lin smirks, then taps the strap of her satchel (which she slung over the back of the chair when she sat down). “What’d you think this was for?”

“The nerdy, butch equivalent of a purse?” you joke, shrugging.

Lin snorts. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

You grin as you study her face for a moment, briefly enraptured by the way her eyes sparkle with humor, the smile lines around her mouth and eyes, and the happy flush on her cheeks. You blink when Lin squeezes your hand, then smile sheepishly when you realize she’d asked you a question while you were mooning over her. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“I asked if you had any plans for the afternoon.”

“Oh. Not really. I mostly went out today to get fresh air. Be able to claim that I leave my apartment for more than just work.” You and Lin chuckle together, and then you briefly get distracted by the way she rubs her thumb against yours before continuing. “Oh, I was gonna hit a bookstore, too. Get some new things to read on the weekend.”

Lin nods, then raises one eyebrow. “Where were you going to go?”

“Spirit Stories.”

“No shit.” At your confused squint, she adds, “That’s where I was going to go.”

“Really?” You raise your eyebrows, then grin. “Small world.”

“Some of the time, at least.” She pauses for a moment, gazing down at where you’re holding hands to watch as her thumb rubs against your skin, then looks back up at you. “Want to head there together?”

You smile, slow and soft, then squeeze her hand. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

Lin smiles and squeezes your hand in return. “Yeah.”

The two of you clean up your trash, stack your dishes on the table so it’s easier for the server to clear, then leave a tip (since you both refuse to let the other leave a tip for one another, and hey, it just makes the server’s day that much better), then head out the front door and down the street, hand in hand.

***

It’s surprising, really, just how touchy-feely Lin is.

Maybe it’s her status as Chief; being elevated in such a position of authority can certainly make a person seem distant, untouchable –and given Lin’s unshakeable air of confidence and decisiveness, it’s a descriptor that fits.

Or maybe it’s just how stoic –and occasionally surly–Lin is. She certainly has a standoffish aura. Not to mention that she’s taller than just about anyone else in the room, and she’s got that stern, “don’t fuck with me” expression that makes you want to get on your knees down pat. Combined with the scars on her face and her apparent musculature, she’s a striking, intimidating figure.

Or maybe it’s just the context you have from hooking up with her. She wasn’t exactly all “close and cuddly” when the two of you were strictly fucking. It wasn’t illogical to assume that her aloof demeanor would carry over into a romantic relationship.

You bite your lower lip as Lin buffs her hand over your shoulder for the umpteenth time in less than ten minutes. You take a silent, deep breath to steady yourself and quell the fire in your pants, then go back to looking through the stacks for something new to read.

How wrong you were.

She held your hand the whole way to Spirit Stories. And she’s stayed close since coming inside, never more than a couple feet away (unless one of you drifts to a different section, but she’s always quick to close it once she’s either looked at whatever caught her curiosity or realized you’ve wandered off).

She keeps touching you, too. Your arm, your shoulder, your upper back. It seems unconscious, unthinking. As though it’s instinctive for her to reach out and touch you.

Part of it almost seems like she’s showing you off –or at least showing off how she feels about you and vice versa. You certainly feel the effect, at least; you feel like there’s a spotlight on you. Like a thousand sets of eyes are watching the way your hands join together as you stroll side by side, or tracking the trajectory Lin’s hand takes over your body.

(It’s almost unbearable at times. It’s worse than those dreams of going to school and realizing you’re naked. You feel exposed, vulnerable; you keep expecting to turn around and find someone watching the two of you while shaking their head.

But for the contrast –the payoff–of feeling Lin touching you, of knowing that you’re at the very center of her affections and esteem? It’s worth it.)

“Find anything good?”

Lin nods, then gestures with the couple of books in her hands. “A few things. This one” –she taps a novel bound in green leather– “is a new release by Jina Yoon, and this one” –she taps the other one, a muted red hardback– “is a recommendation from a friend.”

“Cool. What’s it about?”

“It’s supposed to be part of a short series about a lesbian pirate who falls in love with a mermaid.”

Your eyebrows spike towards your hairline. “Sounds fantastic. Sign me up.”

Lin raises one eyebrow, then reaches out and grabs another red hardback off the shelf and hands it over to you.

“Thanks.”

She hums in response, then eyes the books tucked into the crook of your arm. “Find anything good?”

“Some promising stuff,” you answer as you eye your modest stack. “Autumn’s Beloved Ecstasy, Princess of the Night, Partner in Passion (and Crime)...”

Lin leans over, eyes narrowed, then grimaces. “Spirits, that’s all just erotic trash.”

You look up at her with a grin and waggle your eyebrows. “That’s the point.” When she smirks and shakes your head, you glance around to make sure no one’s in earshot, then lean over and murmur, “Besides, it’s not like I can have you fuck me into the bed at the drop of a hat. A girl has to make do.”

Lin’s cheek’s flush, and her green eyes widen, but those are the only giveaways that you’ve said anything untoward. She glances around, then tilts her head towards you and practically purrs in your ear, “All you ever had to do was ask.”

You feel warm. Too warm. Like you’ve been standing out in the sun all day. And that fire in your pants is back, dammit.

You let out a shaky breath, then squint up at Lin as she chuckles and brushes past you. You turn your head to watch her as she walks towards the register –and admire the way her slacks flatter her hips and ass–then follow after her, heart pumping.

***

The two of you don’t split up after buying your books. Instead, you continue down the sidewalk together, then stop off in Kyoshi Park and decide to rest on a bench underneath a maple tree.

It really is a beautiful, late summer’s Saturday. The sun hangs high in the brilliant, flawlessly blue sky. The park is lush and green –a nice reprieve from the heavy grays and blacks of the city–and full of various park goers. Birds chirp overhead, and the occasional flying lemur monkey who decided to make the journey from Air Temple Island to the city swoops in, chasing after butterflies or trying to steal snacks from the pedestrians. A gaggle of children are playing by the fountain in the park’s center, squealing and splashing each other.

It’s surprisingly peaceful. Despite all the noise and chaos, somehow you’re able to sit back and simply watch. The part of your brain that’s always running, always chattering seems to settle, content to people watch and enjoy the movement of the city.

“I don’t know why I don’t come here more often,” you remark after a few languid, tranquil moments of observing the park. “I keep forgetting how nice it is.”

Lin hums in agreement, also content to lean back against the bench and watch the world go by. “It’s easy to get caught up in routine. Neglect taking time to sit back and appreciate life.”

“Speaking from experience?” you tease, grinning up at her.

She arches one eyebrow at you, but she only holds her usual severe, “fuck around and find out” expression for a moment before smirking. “Sounds like you’re doing the same.”

“Not even remotely, Ms. ‘I-never-take-vacation-days!’”

“And how would you even know–”

“I’ve been treating Mako for the past month and a half, and Bolin’s been the one to bring him to his appointments most of the time,” you fire back with a triumphant, impish grin. “And Bolin likes to gossip.” You giggle when Lin sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, then nudge her with your shoulder. “Hey, think about it like this: you have the opportunity to set a good example for the younger generation!”

Lin’s brows furrow together. “How so?”

“Because Mako works himself to death just as much as you do.”

“How,” she sighs, rolling her eyes, “did we even get onto the subject of my work hours –which are very manageable, thank you very much.”

“One: that’s a bold faced lie, and I don’t even need to have seismic sense to know it,” you quip, which makes Lin shake her head and smirk. “Two: you accused me of not having a good work-life balance, which is categorically false. I take plenty of time off to rest. I just spend most of that time inside.”

Lin rolls her eyes, though the gesture is good-natured. “I stand corrected.”

You grin, then open your mouth to say something else ornery in nature –only for Lin to sling and arm around your shoulders, making all the coherent thoughts evaporate from your brain.

That prickling sensation on the back of your neck has returned. Suddenly, the noise and chaos of the park is overwhelming. You feel entrapped, almost claustrophobic. You can feel the thousands of eyes watching you, judging you, cataloging your every breath.

A shrill laugh from one of the children playing near the fountain jolts you out of your panic. You grit your teeth, then take a deep breath to steady yourself. Stop it. We’re not doing this right now. We’re going to enjoy our time with Lin. You wipe your clammy palms on the top of your pants, then pick up the conversation again to keep your brain distracted. “Do you come here to draw?”

“Sometimes. There’s a few spots I like.” Lin reaches for the clasp of her satchel, then stops and looks down at you. “I –do you want to–”

“Yes! Please!” You inch closer to her and motion for her to continue, then lean forward when she pulls a thick sketchbook with a well-worn cover out of her bag. You peer down at her lap as she opens the book, then gasp at an intricate, partially colored drawing of Yangchen Plaza. “Oh my goodness, Lin. This is gorgeous.”

“Thank you.” She rolls her shoulders, cheeks slightly flushed, then flips through other pages; there’s more drawings of Republic City –the harbor and the bridge, other parks, even the facade of the police district building–interspersed with drawings of flowers, trees, and even a few animals. “It’s not like I do anything super set, in terms of subject matter, or extremely refined–”

“Oh, but I love these,” you gush, reaching out to trace the line depicting a string of New Year’s lanterns. “They’re so fluid. It looks like everything’s still in motion!”

Lin ducks her head, then flips to another page. “Thank you.” She goes slowly, letting you take your time, but hisses when a fully illustrated drawing comes into view. “Oh. This one.”

You gasp, awestruck. “Oh, Lin.”

It’s a close up drawing of a koi fish pond. Most of the page is dedicated to the pond and the fish, save for the rocks bordering the pond and a few tufts of grass at the bottom corners of the page. There’s a large, golden koi swimming near the edge of the pond, body posed in a graceful arc. A few smaller, red and white fish are placed nearby, and then some blurrier smudges of gold and orange off to the side meant to depict fish swimming in deeper water. There’s a few streaks of white on the water’s surface –refraction of sunlight–and in the top left corner are a cluster of lily pads and water lilies.

“It’s not one of my favorites,” Lin grumbles, voice tense with frustration. “The colors didn’t come out how I wanted them to.”

“Well, still, this is gorgeous,” you insist, voice reverent. “I could never make something like this.”

“I mean, it’s really all about practice–”

“Stop brushing me off and let me compliment you, dammit.” You look up and grin when Lin smiles shyly, then go back to admiring her drawing. “Seriously, Lin. This is beautiful. I could look at this forever.”

Lin tilts her head back, studying you. Then, she reaches into her satchel and pulls out a small pocket knife. “You should have it, then.”

“What?” Your eyes widen from equal parts shock and delight. “Really?”

“Really.” She runs the blade of her knife along the inner edge of the page and cuts the page free in one long, seamless stroke. She tucks her knife back in her satchel, then hands the drawing of the koi fish pond to you. “It should be with someone who actually likes looking at it.”

You accept the drawing with careful reverence, not wanting to bend it, or tear it, or smudge it, or otherwise ruin the perfection she’s managed to capture on the page. You stare down at it for a moment, almost in disbelief (because your girlfriend just gave you artwork that she made because you liked it), then beam up at her. “Thank you.”

Lin grins back, eyes crinkling at the corners –then leans in and kisses you softly.

You inhale sharply. Your body tenses up. The prickling sensation on the back of your neck swoops back in with a vengeance, surpassing “a vague prickle” into “full blown White Jade Bush rash” in seconds.

It’s a short kiss, at least. Tender, chaste, then over.

But when Lin leans back again and looks down at you, she catches your startled expression. “Something wrong?” she asks, brows drawing together.

“No!” You force a smile, though it’s tight at the corners. “I… I just didn’t expect you to be the public affection type, is all.”

Lin frowns, expression mortified, and shifts backwards. “If I’ve made you uncomfortable–”

“No!” You grab her hand to keep her from pulling away any further. “I just wasn’t expecting it, is all.” When Lin’s concerned expression doesn’t lift, you force yourself to relax and smirk up at her. “Besides, if my options are kissing you or not kissing you, I’m going to choose kissing you, no question about it.” You grin when Lin chuckles, then lean in and kiss her.

Lin exhales softly, then leans into the kiss –not enough to make it inappropriate, but enough that it feels like she’s relaxing against you and savoring the feeling of your lips against hers.

It’s almost enough to stomp out that sensation of being watched by everyone in existence.

(Almost…)

The kiss ends after a few moments (again, the two of you aren’t trying to get kicked out of the park for public indecency, though that would be quite the feat considering Lin’s status as Police Chief). You gaze up at Lin, still slightly dizzy from the combined elation over kissing her so freely and the worry over being watched. You grin when she takes your hand in hers, then get lost in the depths of her eyes and the sensation of her thumb stroking over the back of your hand.

Spirits, you don’t want today to end. Ever. All you want to do for the rest of your life is bask in her presence, and the way she touches you, and the way she smiles at you, and the vibrant green of her eyes, and… everything. But, as all things do, today will eventually end; you and Lin will have to go back to your separate apartments, your separate jobs, and simply wait until your schedules line up again to see each other. And while that’s certainly easier to do now, since being girlfriends gives you two a good reason to spend an evening together, you can still feel your time with Lin today coming to an end… unless you happen to think of some way to extend it again…

Hang on a second. You grin when an idea occurs to you, then squeeze Lin’s hand. “Have you ever been to The Juniper Cafe?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

“They’ve got the best mango custard tarts in Republic City.”

Lin chuckles and arches one eyebrow in challenge. “The best in the whole city?”

“Would I ever lead you astray?” You laugh when she smirks, as though to say “do you really want me to answer that,” then nod in the direction of the cafe. “It’s not too far from here, if you wanna give ‘em a try.”

Lin grins, then tucks her sketchbook back into her satchel. “Lead on.”

You tuck her drawing into your bag from the bookstore –careful to place it such that it won’t get creased–then stand and take her hand in yours. “This way.”

#sass writes #lin beifong x reader #time to feed the gays #i cannot tell you the immense delight i experienced while planning this fic #sapphic dates are the Absolute Best #also don't mind me making stuff up for worldbuilding #*sweats profusely*#also we're at an interesting reversal point now #where lin is confident in her feelings and the reader is not #and if you're wondering why that is #*sinister smile*#you'll see #>:D #legend of korra #hands that heal

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nothorses · 4 years ago

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So I have a question/something I'd like your input on, since I feel like you'd have something interesting to say about this.

Anyways, some background: i'm in a child and youth care program in a rather left leaning, relatively progressive college, in a rather left leaning/progressive city.

It's actually been a very validating experience so far--I feel so much more accepted here then at my last school, which, while it was located relatively close to the city, had a rather more conservative student body and faculty. I had to fight for accomodation and acceptance, and I didn't end up going to my convocation since, when I had asked, they said they wouldn't call my prefered name when I'd get the certificate at the ceremony, or use the right name on it (they made it seem that their hands were completely tied, even though I know of other schools who've done this exact thing, incl the school I'm at now, without needing proof of a legal name change).

Anyways, at this school, i'm even having instructors I don't even know well going to bat for me and using their connections to get the help I needed when I was having trouble with my name being displayed wrong in the online classroom. Like, thank god for having CYC's as profs, right?

So, to my point: one of our classes is all about inclusion and anti oppressive practices. It's literally the name of the class. I actually enjoy the class a fair bit--despite classes being virtual, my class is sharing a lot and there's a lot of bonding and openness going on in the virtual lecture space. It's encouraged me to be open about my own troubles as a trans person, and people have been v supportive.

In a recent lecture, we start talking about the different terms of discrimination against various groups that face oppression (like, racism, albleism, etc). So she asks us: what is the term for discrimination against trans people? And I say Transphobia. Because that's the term I see most often, and the one I say myself. Apparently the Proper term now is cissexism (or cisgenderism?), and I got chided for saying transphobia.

I went and turned my mic on and basically said that I feel like transphobia is the term the general population is only Just started to take seriously, and the instructor argued that as we're in an academic circle, and as CYCs, it's our job to use the most progressive terms to move things forward, and that we shouldn't be conflating the discrimination trans people face with a phobia. Since, not only does it validate the fear of trans people, but it's not fair to those that have legitimate phobias.

I dropped it there, but I was brave and I asked to speak with the instructor after class.

During that talk, I pretty much said that it's hard being probably the only trans person in at least first year, and being visible and open as one, and having to be told the "right" term to use for my own experiences. She could relate, she said, as she's a black woman, and have faced probably similar experiences from white people correcting her on terms she uses for her own experiences. She did say though, as she's in the role of an instructor, it is her job to educate herself, think on what they're saying, and potentially make changes to her language.

But, she also said she can't speak for my experiences, and she won't make me change my language.

I was appreciative, and I talked about things I've personally faced, and how, even just 10 years ago, trans people were treated so frequently as a joke. Even on screen deaths were funny in media. I brought up that the trans panic defense was still considered a valid defense to use in court not long ago (and still probably is in some places), and someone won a case recently that way. Even just the term "transphobia" is only just recently been taken seriously, in my eyes, while before it was often brushed off as not a legitimate concern. Even when I was first coming out, I was told I was just confused, or trans people were just doing it for attention. I still face open glares sometimes, purposeful misgendering, fights with my sister about some of her transphobic views she refuses to question... And while it was hard to be that vulnerable, the conversation ended on a very good note.

I personally don't feel ready to change this language. But I don't really know if I was in the right to argue all of this. I'm only one trans person, I don't want to talk over those who've probably fought to switch the language away from "transphobia" as the valid term. But, i'm in an awkward position of being an unofficial spokesperson as the token trans guy in the class, talking to a lot of folks who've admitted I am the first trans person they've met. So, i dunno, i'm weird with conflict and I was wondering what you're thoughts were on all of this.

This is kind of a tricky one for a lot of reasons, tbh? And I have... a few thoughts. This is already super long, so under the cut it goes!

The first thing is that “transphobia” and “cissexism” aren’t actually interchangeable; they’re different concepts. “Transphobia” refers to bigotry against trans people or transness in general, while “cissexism” or “cisgenderism” is appealing to (or is) the wider system of oppression. (x)

That’s not to say those words are actually used that way in practice, because they’re not, and I certainly don’t use them that way every time either. Like you said, “transphobia” is the word people more often understand. When I’m writing for or talking to audiences that don’t already have a strong background in trans theory, I stick to “transphobia” for clarity’s sake.

But if you’re positioning yourself as an educational authority on the subject, and even going so far as to correct trans people on those terms- you should know that. If your question is “which term refers to discrimination against trans people?”, your answer is reliant upon how you choose to define “discrimination” in that context.

It’s also reasonable to assume people would answer with the first term if they don’t know both of them, and what she’s set up sounds like an unfair “gotcha!” meant to cow uninformed cis people.

And tbh, I take issue with that. There’s a great essay on this- The Cycle of Socialization by Bobbie Harro. The core of this cycle, which allows oppression to continue and encourages its perpetuation, includes confusion and insecurity: oppression is complex, and big, and people are afraid of taking a stand and doing it wrong. They are insecure in their knowledge and position, and afraid that if they try, they’ll get it wrong, and they’ll be punished. So they stay silent. What is that “gotcha!” moment doing except enforcing that fear and silence?

The other thing here are her reasons for using “cissexism” instead. She’s absolutely right that there is dialogue about what terms to use, and her listed reasons are informed and well-educated. I don’t know how I feel about the discussion myself, honestly, as I’ve seen it from the start and I’ve watched it play out for multiple years.

I don’t know if I agree that it’s ableist, part of that being that the “-phobic” thing was originally created as a “compassionate justification” for people’s bigotry against gay people (though there is the “-misic/misia” replacement for “-phobia” if you prefer). That’s still problematic for different reasons; like she said, it might validate bigotry as “fear”. “Cissexism” illustrates bigotry as enforcing a system rather than being honestly rooted in feelings, and that’s generally a good thing, imo.

But, y’know, “transphobia” is what people readily understand, and punishing people for using it is counterproductive. Using “transphobia” as a starting point for a discussion and an understanding is helpful, too; it connects these ideas back to what people already know. It meets them where they are. If you want to add “cissexism” to their vocabulary from there, please do! But that shouldn’t be rooted in shame.

I don’t know if any of this is helpful, but I thought I’d throw out what seemed to be the core of the issue to me, in case it resonated with you. If you still feel weird about the interaction, it might be worth it to address that with her again; she seems like she’s genuinely trying, and cares, and like she’s open to making changes. If nothing else, you might be able to sort out what’s still bugging you and address it as a feelings issue, rather than a language one, if that works better for you.

Good luck! And sorry for the super long answer, lol.

#long post #onejackalsguise #Ask

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theurbansquared · 3 years ago

Text

Guide To Avoiding A Loser Brokerage

by James Hill | theurbansquared

Brokers can be bastards and some even get better at it while other brokers are legitimate life-changing business Sherpas

A broker is supposed to guide you through a career in real estate much like a coach or pimp - offering protection and how to understand a complicated system better and direct it to revenue without getting your neck broke while playing the game. I created and ran the most well-reviewed, largest full-service brokerage in the fastest-growing city in America. This gave me access to nearly ever broker and their broker's pay structure and innovations. I also got the agent's version of my same broker buddies brokerages when they eventually joined my brokerage; hovering anywhere from 20–60 agents. Trending insider chatter has blame going to real estate brokers of decades past (and current) and how they’ve managed their agents - - letting unsupervised agents with no experience run wild on the streets practicing on the public wearing out Realtor love and making a need for all the Mountain Dew-made Zillow-y options that currently exist.

Brokers are out of touch more than ever with today’s current media load, having to understand and use social media platforms for their advertising (since the private Town & Country affair that real estate once was is forever over and the landscape is a bit more like a half Juggalo, half programmer flea market).

Let’s dive into some situations and tenets that most agents don’t consider when choosing a brokerage.

Sales Volume

This is a bit of negotiating psychology and due diligence. Simply ask how much sales they (the brokerage) did last year and how much they’re currently at. If they don’t know these numbers they’re goons. If they don’t give it, you guessed it - they’re hiding something; their lack of revenue. I’ve hired and fired hundreds of agents and in interviews so few ask this question but it’s one of the most important questions you can ask as an agent and you need the information. An agent that doesn’t ask this has already given a tell that they’re not a top producer since they’re not interested in the production capacity of the team they may join. No bueno. Creep the brokerage as well obvi -- reviews, FB & IG engagement and current running ads, and make sure the company Christmas Party isn’t catered by Chic-fil-a at a Burnet Road dive bar.

Office

40% of your learning and 350% of your work will be done at the office. Those numbers will make sense 90% of the time after a few years in real estate. The rest should be on the streets - your car, properties, driving 75 mph talking and sending out docs, gorging on breath mints. Office, home, tiny homes, motorhomes have all blended into one larger conversation where work/live ethos are all in re-definition.

But, when you do need a more savvy moment in any market when people talk about borrowing or selling something that’s over $100K they don’t want to hear some bullshit too loud pedantic conversation seated right next to them at Starbucks or the local kooky coffee shop. In real estate Murphy’s Law is always in effect. The super important listing sign off that has to go well and they want to hear you pitch again before deciding? There will be someone (at this super ‘caj’ coffee house meeting) there projectile vomiting, or throwing cats, or something else tiresome or bad that takes more calls.

Speech and body language are massive parts of sales so when the entire set is thrown because a barista is running through a whole Sublime album. You want the most inviting cool office you can ever pull off at any given moment in real estate . Was that ever a question? There's a balance -- you can't afford that year one or three, but it’s called real estate for a reason. Sexy, exciting buildings is what the brochure said when I joined. Also, it’s about style not size.

If you haven’t lost business to coffee house back pressure you really haven’t failed at agency properly.

Social IQ

Social reach is the only conversation now. Many brokerages won’t make it as the lead generating aspects of the industry aren't powered by a private MLS anyone and the publicly-hated ‘Realtor’ designation have both brokers and agents guessing about tomorrow. Calendars, best practices and free shitty tips & templates are the du jour of the day for anyone trying to get an agent's eyes. You can Google and get all the ‘basic’ social media dance steps, but with everyone at the same happy hunting spot, you’re being covered up, which leaves all your new artistic efforts fruitless and also squandering winning time.

Traffic, leads and engagement are all separate areas that have to be fulfilled properly and even this is in flux with historic corporations and current start ups all on the same advertising playing field. Social reach and engagement is about going to the consumer direct and becoming their friend with soft bribes -- free food, gifts, prizes (trips, events tickets) or industry work tools. The great news is, real estate has always been mostly consumer direct - start up a convoy at the grocery store (bar, church, meetup) and you’re in the car that weekend looking for houses with a new client. While you, your brokerage and the world are figuring out their exact social media mix, you need to make sure a brokerage isn’t lost on social media since many won’t be able to stay in business in the next few short years. Your brokerage needs to have a plan and and at best some presence on social media. Plus, they should be running low-cost performative marketing ad campaigns to get a feel for what and if set user groups are responding to ads. Anyone can post on IG but people engage on IG when they become inspired. A brokerage should have some sort of inspiration and relationship tied in with the local allure of their city -- or heading that direction.

Mentoring

Much like a neurotic buyer chasing an interest rate for their home mortgage (and then never buying a house) agents too focused on commission may miss the essential career need for mentoring -- for their clients and career. I had a 5 deal minimum for my new agents before they were ever unsupervised and received more commission. I've had new agents with celeb clients in hand and celeb agents with no clients in hand. No one wants to do business with someone with absolutely has no, experience but they do it because they like you as a friend or fam. Your mentor is the person riding shotgun with you at the beginning of your career. On many levels you want to be this person since they embody the position and role. You're literally and figuratively are borrowing experience from them and they deserve to be paid for it. You always have to strengthen your brand outside of your brokerage but if you don’t have any experience your brand doesn’t have ‘strength’ you simply have a logo and a drag & drop website where you're possibly talking about yourself and love of unicorns or football shit but the big boat deals you dream about in bed aren’t gotten this way. Remember, no unicorn could ever throw a football good without a lot of practice and a good mentor.

Support

Support in a brokerage is really communication and solutions for small problems, and systems for managing bigger ones with people. Most of the annoying things in real estate happen outside of the deal - contracts, calls, emails, docs, signatures, more docs. You typically want a super admin, broker, or agent manager that you can call and they pick up the phone. It’s pretty simple. With a mentor, admin, or broker you’re going to have a n 8:30 PM question or deal that’s going down. You’ll need printer help. Real estate always happens now (this was one of the main mantras in my office). Printing, prequal, weekend support and constant post dinner shenanigans.

Training

Meet Frank Miller, David Mamet, the Sex Pistols, Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Hendrix, Tom Hopkins, The World’s Greatest Detective and Conan The Barbarian. We had a lot of different inspirations for the style and ethos of our urban brokerage. The World’s Greatest Detective is Batman. It was a moniker that became popular in the seventies. We used this example about how important due diligence and proper Fact Finding techniques are for serving and closing deals for clients. (It’s almost essential to be inquisitive in real estate esp about property/development to have success). Training is largely your sales meeting(s). Although I don’t come from a car background I’ve mentored many car guys transferring to real estate (they typically are out of the industry within 2 years and are there only for boom markets). Car guys have meetings every morning 6 days a week and they’re not at 9 or 10 am. They’re already working.

free module: The Burger King Phenomena: Why Agents Do Less Working For Themselves Than If They Were Working At Burger King

Many brokerages have no training/meeting schedule (monthly doesn’t count -- that’s a meet and greet company pump and catch up meeting). If a brokerage doesn’t have training on a schedule then there is no training. You’ll possibly be thrown a 3-ring binder, or given some PDF’s, or links to old bizarre training videos or a soup sandwich of all three and sometimes even a bill for the training. An agent’s training/meetings and their attendance to them are the difference between an agent making it or not when you’re 24 months or less in the role as an agent especially in the fast turbulent waters of the current 2021 market where brokerage and agent purpose and pay are under attack. From my experience, new agents that hide die.

Media

Having a background as a creative director I’m aware with great detail of agency and brokerage media needs, the cost and time they extract, and the corresponding revenue they’re projected to bring back. Brokerages are looking for their purpose now as simply having a brokerage doesn’t bring in leads like it used to. This is fitting, since the digital dumbass brokers that that didn’t understand the importance of ‘the web’ rickshawed our MLS data and sold the agent/broker centric real estate system for their benefit while current agents are left with an empty greasy enough to-go box to curl up with. Brokerages were never media houses or ad agencies but now that consumer level graphic programs and website builders are ubiquitous and any agent after being licensed for 10 days can drag & drop a website up in 4 hours and make it look like a brokerage that’s been around for years. I know I’m going wide on the subject here but stay with me because this is the crux of where the industry and consumer are renegotiating roles.

A brokerage’s value proposition has changed drastically with the telecommute revolution that was only sped and strengthened by Covid. Also, generational knowledge base gaps in technology are more apparent than ever with technology as younger agents can often be more media savvy than their broker. The market is flooded with self appointed companies or gurus that are taking on the role of the classic ad agency (Mad Men) or media production house. Also beware of real estate coaches with little or no real estate experience offering to guide you in social media. Okay media can’t be used in apex situations (such as the luxury listings you’re after) and doesn’t draw apex listings. Beware of tapioca room temperature tips and general lists from companies that can appear informative but are really boilerplate low grade data to get your attention to ultimately upsell you on a paid service.

As an agent or a brokerage, consumer level graphic and website building programs can be a death ticket to your business as your competitors have the same tools and are cranking out the same type of style of messaging you are now. Now agents, principals, admins and in art class creating flyers. This has been done since the nineties as the valleys of dead agent careers is full of 2-day Microsoft Word (or any of their shitty office offerings) seshes to produce nasty flyers and presentations. These programs are fun and making bad flyers absolutely work related - the kind of work you don’t want’ related to your business because it’s adult crayon coloring. Activity does not equal production. Staying busy doing the wrong things doesn’t make money in real estate. Rather than spending agent winning time staying in the wrong lanes for way too long, get with a team or brokerage that are providing the most exceptional visual media you can find in your market. It used to be cool 2 years ago, now it’s the only thing that matters. Visual content.

free module: Better Agent Media, Less Agent Money (media tips and hacks).

Access

This is access to your broker. Brokers with families are typically less available. Your best bet as an agent is looking for a grinder broker who sleeps on the couch at their office. This person doesn’t have kids to build into so they’ll build into your career and you’ll get the most out of these brokers. Beware of cheesedick, apathetic, rich boy, bored brokers not around and more concerned with projects like a shitty vanity wine brand that their wife’s forced them to launch since she’s not living her best life anymore as an agent.

Style

What kind of style is your brokerage? Is there an opportunity to bring more style sophistication to the market -- standout in a smaller market? Or, are you in an ultra stylish market currently and butt hurt because you already have a little story about how you’re going to keep it real and be a Dockers wearing slob for eternity? The thing about style in agency is you always need to look like you can list a million dollar house. Oh, is it really that simple? Yes it is. You complicated it. Clients always care about their housing a little bit more than they care about your real estate career. They don’t have time to figure out why you’re wearing shoe styles from 7 years ago. Don’t make it hard for people to do business with you. If you’re ugly, even better. It can be a massive advantage. Everyone on the planet loves when someone who doesn’t fall into our general current ‘attractive’ spectrum doesn’t give af, looks great and puts themselves together in a stylish way that the viewer can understand (can I get away with Teen Wolf?). A great side benefit from this step in the right direction is it’s a great way to make someone who is conventionally attractive insecure.

You want to be in the same style as the people in your area but the secret is you need to lead that style pack if you can -- you always lead and dress apex. Years ago this was anecdotal but after over 100K hours in real estate a good suite (tailored) saved my ass and literally got me business. I listed the largest house in east Austin because of a suit (and got a front page story on the newspaper real estate section for free because the owner saw me walking into the next door neighbor’s house).

Offices, dress, logo, email signature are all elements of you and your brokerage’s style. Style in and of itself isn’t enough to be a top producer in real estate. I’ve had stylish and even celebrity agents that didn't do zilch, but style often is a fingerprint to something more.

Picking the right elements for your agent style is an art because you have to offer something from yourself that’s unique enough as well as something familiar (a bridge to your uniqueness). I have a background as a musician and also as a merchant sailor. Fortunately those are easy convo starters. You could be a philatelist and have some challenges, but regardless it absolutely will take a year or three to develop your own angle and style towards the market as you learn it and the agent role more.

Things that look attractive and familiar puts client’s psychologies at ease. So, if skinny jeans are in you better get in them (that’s like five years old now). You’re on stage. You don’t wear what the worker people behind the camera wear. If you want to wear boring shit get on the other side of the camera. If you want less leads saddle up to a forgettable brokerage. People have hard days. They want you to put an effort into your real estate agency role. Currently it’s a fried role so you’re dealing with that too. People love to be smiled at and sold and especially from someone who smells good. It doesn't ever get old. Don’t make them beg for your charm. Be a nice charming person with a shirt that fits good, it’s a powerful combo.

Get My Damn Paper

If you’ve never seen a werewolf in daylight mess with an agent’s commission after the deal’s done and funded. Admin? Who is the damn person who does the admin? (accounts payable is the icey pro word if you like). That person that you contact to get your commission check cut? If that person is a weirdo, or there’s an unfriendly or sketchy quality to the office or admin staff, do not go forward (don’t confuse this with new people or industry jitters). Grab some free coffee, leave the smarm and jet to the next brokerage blind date.

Software

CRM is an annoying conversation. Here’s the things with CRM’s - for all the work CRMs curtail, because of their complexity and existence and the work(time) they take to interact with you need to consider how much work you’re putting into operating the CRM software verses how much time it’s saving. Many times brokerages have expensive yearly subscriptions with per agent fees for their CRM which can make the brokerage have a zealot meth thing for the ‘team’ software and promise you can’t have a career without taking a bump too. To understand CRM better before it was a name, Client Relationship Management is what analog Proximity became. Let me explain - being close to people in Church, bar, school, same building -- all give proximity. This becomes familiarity, then ease, then trust. People do business with people they trust & like. Once people disconnected physically and started using other means more contact attempts have to be made to work for or ‘prove’ worth.

Follow Up is a large component of most CRM’s and there are gobs of money for agents who follow up meticulously. Simply ask the broker what CRM they use and research it. Something to remember - unless you’re extremely busy with your career you don’t need a CRM. You can manage & database your clients & leads ‘by hand’ and strap it to the cloud with G-Suite/Google Sheets.

Brokerage Name

A small but important aside, if a brokerage have named themselves after a precious metal or a gem, or if it says elite in the name then it’s not elite. If it has the words prestige or worldwide or international it may not be any of those either. I know a handful of exceptions to this rule but this is a great dirty primer to use when choosing a brokerage that’s going to propel your career and have shrimp options at the Christmas Party.

#agent #realtor #realestateagent #broker #brokerage #newhomebuyer #coach #businesscoach #entrepreneurs #new agent #zillow

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ruchalus · 2 years ago

Text

I really hate having autism at times, it's bad enough when people think of you as a retarded freak with no social skills, its worse when you truly feel like that. I guess what's bothering me is that I failed trying to get to know someone who was super cute and my type. Unfortunately I'm a clumsy dumbass who can't speak proper sentences without stuttering.

God, I've never even once held hands with someone, never cuddled up with someone, never had my first kiss, I honestly feel like I'm doomed to be alone forever because of my autism. It just makes me so socially awkward that very few people legitimately want to talk to me. Most times anyone interacts with me I feel it's done out of pity because I have autism.

I haven't been in a relationship for over 10 years now, even then these days I'm beginning to think if that was even real. I say that because I met her in an MMORPG and it just didn't work out because I've never had anyone to tell me what a good relationship has and what one has to do to maintain it. I was so close to meeting her in real life too as she was planning to take a trip out to meet me in person but I fucked that up in person.

I remember at that time, for a few months I was doing exercises a lot. Every morning I would do 100 push ups, 100 sit ups and 100 squats. Reason being is that I wanted to be physically attractive for her and be able to do things like carry her. Now I'm fat and pathetic.

People tell me "Oh it'll be fine, don't worry about it". Easy to fucking say when you don't have autism to deal with because very very few people actually understand what it's like to have autism without having it themselves. When it comes down to it, I have nothing to offer in a relationship. I have no job, no money for dates to take someone out to a restaurant, I'm shit at small talk and I don't know how to have fun at some place like an arcade, mall, etc.

Every single time I tried to get to know someone with the intent of perhaps forming a romantic relationship, my dumbass autism got in the fucking way. Like this girl Grace I knew in high school. She was super cute and she basically set the standards for what my type is. We were in the same college and there were blatant signs that she wanted to get to know me like waving hi to me with her cute smile, and I end up making a fool of myself in front of her by choking on my lunch like a retarded turkey. Or she'd sit behind me in the bus and I was too socially awkward to say anything.

Then I also tried interacting with this girl named Meagan, super cute redhead who was into me but I couldn't get anything started because I'm absolute hot shit at small talk and conversations. And there were a lot of girls flirting with my in college but the thing is, I'm so fucking dumb that I didn't realize this until many months after the fact.

God I just want to know what it feels like to be human, to want someone and have them want you, but it's been 10 years so I don't really think it's going to happen. Sure I've tried dating apps but they're all filled with basic bitch bimbos who are only looking for hookups and casual relationships. "I can outsmoke you", yeah every other person here says the same thing. Dogs, outdoors, hiking, parties, its all the fucking same person there. And the one time I meet someone who is interesting, super cute, and my type, I go and fuck it up.

God I'm just one of those guys women marry when they have 2-3 kids, their cheating ex-husband left them, and they finally realized the value of having a guy that legitimately cares for them and not just wanting to fuck. I fucking hate HATE HATE having autism sometimes. Have you ever met anyone that wants to be with someone that has autism that isn't autistic themselves? No I didn't think so. Society treats us as sub-human and boy do I sure feel sub-human.

I'm gonna go finish my tomato soup and cry I guess.

#vent post #ignore this

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been-taking-muay-thai-classes · 1 year ago

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I always laugh when people say Jamil could've just- talked to Kalim. Because no, he couldn't.

First because he's a servant and it would be unwise to tell your master's son that you have issues with the social hierarchy you two have but also because uhhh Jamil did try talking with Kalim about less perilous issues he had and while Kalim seemed to heed his words at first, in the end he always brushed his concerns aside because "Jamil can do it no problem!".

Kalim's lab vignette shows him using the Scarabia kitchen to do his alchemy homework, resulting in him blowing the kitchen up. Jamil decides to help him with his homework while arranging for someone to come rix the kitchen at a later date.

Kalim tells him to focus on the kitchen first because he has a party planned for that afternoon and needs to host everyone. Jamil, understandibly alarmed, asks him who was suppossed to be in charge of cooking, hosting, etc. And Kalim goes "why, you of course. You can just make extra of whatever you're whipping up for me anyway".

This line is particularly important in the context of this vignette, because in part 2 we learn that Kalim wanted to make this party so that Jamil would get to know his class year and socialize with them. The issue is that, by virtue of being the host and cook Jamil would've had to serve the guests and therefore had very little time to socialize. On top of that, Kalim knows how proper Jamil is and how unlikely it is that he would "let loose" in a party setting where he's meant to serve everybody and also protect Kalim.

So while Jamil's issues with Kalim stem in part from how the system benefits him and forces Jamil to be his servant, another part of his issues with Kalim are from legitimate grievances with him and the way he exploits him to the point of exhaustion. Because Jamil does tell Kalim often how his parties and banquets and other whims take a lot of time, effort, stress and work for Jamil but Kalim always draggs him in the end in one way or another.

As for the reason Jamil isn't ressentful of his parents well that's simple: they are servants whose whole income and living situation depends on their masters being happy with their service. And while they seem happu to serve (from Jamil's birthday voice lines and vignettes) that doesn't mean they don't understand the potential consequences that could befall them or their children if they stepped out of line.

See in the jp version of the game, Jamil says he can't overshadow Kalim because then Kalim's father could put his entire family on the street. That's seriously not something any kid should have to worry about and yet it is an ever present fear in Jamil's mind which fuels his overprotectiveness of Kalim. He does everything for him because that's the only way to avoid Kalim comong to any harm and therefore hisnown family coming to harm.

And Kalim can't possibly understand any of this because he has so much privilege that he has never had to worry about such things. Sure he has emotional worries, that people don't put the same weight on his issues because he's rich and therefore his problems matter less (which lets face it, with people like Ruggie who have starved, the problems of the wealthy feel comparably like nothing issues so he's not wrong to think people care little about him), he has also been shown having trouble separating from Jamil even after the betrayal likely because Jamil is the only person he feels he can trust not to try to poison him or such due to his fortune.

But that once again shows how little Kalim understood of the situation because his privilege blinded him. He claims Jamil is his best friend but that's just because Jamil was forced to serve and do what he wanted since they were kids. Jamil never had a choice in the matter and given they still are Master and Servant, Jamil can't really choose to spend less time with Kalim than he already does.

Kalim thinks that just by saying "we'll compete as equals!" Means that'll happen but there's likely still things Jamil can't do or let Kalim do become it could repercute on him and his family if it went wrong, and unlike Kalim, Jamil can't take that risk because his family isn't rich nor socially secure, they jave served the Asims for generations! That makes Jamil and his family indentured servants! That's akin to slavery given they still have to work for the Asim family after so many generations!

So really, if Kalim still can't understand why Jamil and he can't be friends as long as Jamil is his servant, if he still does things Jamil has explicitely asked him not to because it'll mean more work and stress for himself, how can Jamil expect that Kalim will understand their class differences and the problems its meant for Jamil just from a conversation? The answer is simple: he can't.

Kalim is slowly learning about these things and doing his best to be a better friend to Jamil, becoming more independent and responsible but he still has a ways to go and that all happened because Jamil overblotted. Without the scheme and the oberblot there is NO WAY Kalim would've understood the real depth of Jamil's despair.

TL;DR Kalim needed to be confronted with Jamil's betrayal and overblot to finally understand his feelings because his privilege blinded him to ALL of the things Jamil had to do for him to protect his family, instead of just thinking "Jamil is a worrywart".

his treatment of kalim, while it is a two way street, but he complains that kalim never does anything for himself, when its j*mil who never lets kalim do such. Kalim is probably the most nicest character, and j*mils midirected anger pisses me off so bad 😭, especially since j*mil could’ve honestly talked to kalim about it.

While it might not be as socially acceptable, it would be for him because its KALIM he wants to talk too. Instead of immediately resorting to taking him out of the equation he could’ve just talked to him, im sure kalim would’ve been open to it !! 😭😭 j*mils overblot also was just hella annoying 😔 YOU can like him, and ofc think of the situation otherwise, just me personally i didnt lkke how it was handled 😭😔

i do like his design though, and his development and concept is something i enjoy, just not how it was handled 😔

In my defense,

He's 17

HELPP LMAO but anyways. Yeah, all of that is totally valid and I actually don't know that much about Jamil but I do think the hate is misdirected but at the same time, i believe its understandable why. I think the reason why he hates Kalim is because of his obliviousness to the situation they're in and also obviously because he's always after him.

"His parents kept telling him he's under Kalim. Why not hate them?"

Yeah his parents forced him to do that but that's HIS parents. The one he loves. That's family and he knows their situation.

"Why couldn't he hate Kalim's parents then?"

No doubt he holds some type of resentment for them too idk

But I don't think he is as close with kalim's parents to even feel that much hatred as he is with Kalim. Like yk you don't even know that person well enough to even hate them.

I do think he does hold resentment for them but I believe since he's more near Kalim and is always told:

"Kalim goes first"

"Kalim wins."

"Kalim is above you."

"Kalim."

"KALIM."

He's told that constantly and they don't mention "Oh his parents are better" or smth

His parents probably said "Kalim's family is above us" but I do think "Kalim is first" or smth like that has been consistently said to him that it's been ingrained in his mind.

Also imagine ur parents putting another kid above you, would you not hate that kid? I mean yeah you'll hate your parents but also that kid too.

Like the sheer resentment and confusion you'll feel because "what makes that kid better than me?" "What's so much better?" "Aren't I better?" "Do you not love me?"

LIKE IMAGINE WHAT JAMIL FELT WHEN HIS PARENTS WERE LIKE "don't do that!!! Kalim needs to win!!"

And also he's been doing shit for Kalim since they were born so I think he's just doing his job when he keeps doing shit himself and doesnt let Kalim do it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ idk I literally don't know but it's silly but he consistently does it so Kalim could look good. Everything he does is for Kalim to look good like he's taught.

And that's kind of the reason why he went to NRC so he could escape from Kalim and focus on becoming a cool wizard but Kalim's dad found that and literally shoved Kalim into it too, ruining Jamil's freedom. Crowley got paid a small loan of million madols and made Kalim dormleader.

Yeah it's not Kalim's fault but it deepens Jamil's hate for him because HE worked hard but Kalim's daddy pays the school and boom, Kalim's dormleader.

I think that's why he says Kalim's mere existence makes him defer everything for him. He has to put off winning a board game, he has to put off competitions, he has to put off getting good grades, he doesnt become dormleader for Kalim to look good.

And the fact that he had to put off EVERYTHING for Kalim. I mean yeah they could've talked but JAMIL ISNT VERY OPEN LIKE THAT. Kalim would really love it if Jamil was open about it but Jamil was always told to hold off his tongue. HE'S BEEN TAUGHT THAT.

I LOVE KALIM TOO don't get me wrong I love Kalim but hating on Jamil is a GRRRRRRRRRRRRR for me like GRRRRRRRR

😡😡😡😡😡

I used to hate Jamil for that same exact reason. Why did he betray Kalim? Kalim did nothing wrong to him. But I just got to understand Jamil a little more.

Even if Kalim is the nicest character, there's people that hate him.

I'm sorry for going off on a rant and stuff. I see Jamil hate and I start being a Jamil Defender

Yall call him a hypocrite

I call him misunderstood 🥺 (pick me Jamil please pick me)

And DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT AZUL

If you hate Azul, YOU'RE GLADLY WELCOMED TO

That MF IS UNDEFENDABLE.

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #kalim al asim #one day I'll make a post talking about Kalim's issues #IF YANA GIVES ME MORE TO WORK WITH #like I know Kalim's head isn't empty #but I wanna know why does he throw so many parties #is it really because he likes merryment so much? and why dors he still latch to Jamil's “friendship”?#he has other friends like his clubmates and Silver yet he never seemsnto get too close to them #I have theories but I need more evidence #I have a lot of thoughts about the scarabia duo

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