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mags-writes · 1 year ago

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Sunlight || Part VI

Summary: frank gets his worldview changed

Series Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical swearing, first time writing x reader, no use of y/n, no beta readers we die like ray nadeem

Pairing: frank castle x fem!reader

Authors Note: a bit longer for the girlies. just a heads up as well, you might not hear from me for a while after I finish this series (apart from a oneshot that was requested idk) because I'm technically supposed to be writing an actual legit novel and I got writers block for that and just started doing this to get my creativity out of my head. so thank you to everyone who didn't send me nasty anons and for sticking it out this far. I'm honestly so surprised at the reaction especially considering that this is the first time writing in second perspective. enjoy!!

PROLOGUE/MASTERLIST || PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV || PART V || PART VI || PART VII

"So," You face Matt who had been looking like he wanted to say something to you since you started spouting Hebrew. "What's your part in all this?"

"If you helped your Daredevil," He took tentative steps to you. "Then I think you know the answer."

You sighed, stepping away from Frank's embrace and instead going into Matt's.

"I'm sorry." You mumbled into his chest, squeezing him tighter when he laid his head on top of yours. "I didn't know for sure until yesterday morning."

"No, don't be." He said, soothing a hand up and down on your back. "Even if you didn't know I should've told you from the start."

"It happened the same way, you know?" He pulled back and frowned at you. "I showed up at his apartment one morning, he was beaten to hell and back, and he tried to tell me he fell down the stairs."

"I'm going to assume you didn't take it well?" He said with a smile.

"I yelled at him so loudly his neighbour three floors up came over to ask us to shut up." You smiled at his chuckle, letting it stay before it fell slightly. "Everything that followed... I don't regret becoming his girl in the chair, helping him every night but... Matt, I was one of six kids." Matt felt his heart shatter. "And I know you heard everything yesterday, that I don't want to go back and I want you to know that, in a heartbeat, I would-"

"I know where you're going with this." Of course he did. Of course he knew. "No. If being part of Daredevil's life put you through god knows how many kidnappings, beatings, crucifixions, and dead brothers, then no. You're not doing it again for me."

"Okay," You shook your head. "Believe it or not, getting crucified was the least traumatic thing to happen that week. So, we're good on that base."

"Stop it." He was being serious and you couldn't help but smile. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?" You challenged.

"You're trying to change my mind."

"No, I know what I'm going to do." You shrugged your shoulders. "Whether you like it or not, tonight, I'm the girl in the chair."

"With what setup?" He challenged.

You pointed to where Dinah, Amy, and Frank were still standing, listening in, and where your stuff still was. "What do ya think the suitcase is for?"

You walked over to your suitcase, wheeling it over to the table in the middle of the room, and laying it on the ground. Amy came to stand next to you as you squatted down to unzip the thing and then carefully pry it open.

"Ho-ly shit." Amy laughed, leaning down to get a better look.

The reason you hadn't been able to afford your own place and move out of Matt's was because of this. Three large monitors were carefully packed into one-half of the suitcase, each with their own stands and cables wrapped under them. The other half had a mouse, two keyboards, and a touchscreen tablet sitting in their own black, protective foam. You took all of this out, running a couple of cables to turn everything on with Amy's help, and left it to turn on.

Next, you moved to the backpack. Now that... the contents of that had everyone gaping if they weren't already before. Two handguns with their own holsters, a bowie knife with a sheath and thigh straps, and then lastly, a separate sack that clunked around when it hit the table.

"Uh, do you know how to use those?" Foggy asked concerned, frowning at the handguns.

"Yeah." You said like it was obvious. "Pull the trigger."

Amy's head snapped to Frank with a gaping smile, trying to stop herself from bursting out laughing at his expression. He was shocked, to say the least, and he was trying to stop himself from slowly moving the weapons out of reach of you.

You stood up, opening the sack, and tipping it upside down to reveal a partly disassembled assault rifle. Your hands moved faster than your mind, easily flipping around the parts before twisting or shoving them into place. Frank thought you looked angelic. A small frown of concentration creased in between your eyebrows and your lips pulled into a delicate pout. Time slowed. He felt like he was having an out-of-body experience and was only pulled back in when you slapped the bottom of the mag into place and pulled back the bolt carrier handle.

"I was the only girl out of six kids," You explained, flipping the safety on and putting it down with the rest of the weapons. "My oldest brother liked to wear heels out in public, the next one was chess champion every year he was in school and the one after that was six foot three and seventy pounds wet. If I wasn't out there beating the shit out of their bullies then no one would be. Now my younger brothers," You tilted your head with a smile. "Bless 'em. Their dumbasses got themselves into the military. No offense Frankie."

"None taken, darlin'." He replied, hanging off every word you spoke. You never spoke about your family and figured you had a rough relationship with them. He didn't realise it was this kind of rough.

"They came home and taught me how to handle firearms when I ended up in the hospital after a kidnapping. So, I can defend myself. Let's settle that." You gave every one of them except Frank a pointed look to make sure they understood. "My oldest brother was murdered by Kingpin for writing an exposing story about him for the newspaper, the chess champ was murdered by Bullseye for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and the next one went out in a hit-and-run courtesy of Bloody Mary."

"Jesus Christ." Karen mumbled.

"Brother after me, a week into active duty stepped on a landmine and took out three other people." Frank felt his heart break at the shakey breath you took in after saying that. You were clearly trying to come off as indifferent like you'd worked through it and it didn't affect you anymore but he saw your hands start to shake again. "My baby brother... while I was nailed to a cross, John Pilgrim hunted him down into an alleyway and beat him to death with a sledgehammer. Dad hung himself and Mom didn't leave the psych ward alive." You paused, looking out to nothing for a second before taking in another shaky breath. "The type of radio I use specifically for long-distance communications can be hacked and tracked, that's the price I pay for clear and crisp long-distance. When you leave and I'm left here to be the girl in the chair... If that happens... I am using these weapons. And I am not holding back. Do you understand me?"

You finally looked at Frank. Fear, defiance, and grief swirling in your eyes and he realised that while you directed the question to all of them, you were asking him. You were telling him that you were going to kill people tonight.

Other Matt never let you seek justice for your brothers. He held you while you cried and stood next to you during their funerals, every single one of them, but he always held you back when you got angry. Always the one holding back saying that if you crossed that line then there was no going back. Then someone tracked your signal one night, crawling through the window and holding a gun to your head. You don't even remember killing him, going into a blind rage and just letting loose.

Elektra found you. Cleaned you up, got rid of the body but left the mess. When other Matt came back after enough radio silence and saw what was left behind, Elektra took the blame. She had kept a close eye on you since.

Frank was the first to speak up. "Sounds good to me."

You nodded to him then looked directly at Matt.

"I don't like it." He said reluctantly.

"I'll go to church." You bartered.

"I'm fine with it." He folded immediately, giving a little shrug.

"What do we call you?" Amy asks, making everyone to turn her now instead. "They can't very well go through the streets calling you by your name. Or into earpieces that can be hacked. That's stupid. Frank's got Punisher. Murdock's got Daredevil. What about you?"

There's a pause where you smile at her.

"Call me Cypher." You answered, looking at Frank again and slyly winking. "I'll be your best-kept secret."

You soon found yourself in a chair that was bordering uncomfortable and listening in to Matt, John, Frank, and Dinah all communicating with one another as they made their way through New York in a van. Karen, Foggy, Amy, and Curtis, however, were staying with you. Curtis stayed back for extra protection with a gun and Amy was sitting next to you with her eyes glued to your screens.

The one to the left showed detailed city blueprint layouts that you had gathered when you got the setup, and it was synced with the middle screen that showed the most recent satellite images of the city. They moved and adjusted with the four dots that were the earpieces you gave to the group. The one on the right was for hacking security cameras around the city but for the life of you, you couldn't get it to sync up and stay with the other screens. Which is why you had to constantly keep up with it.

After some digging and hacking, you found out that John's sons were being held captive in a warehouse by a local gang. A stupid location but they chose it nonetheless. John told you that there was someone higher up paying them off to do this and that was why Dinah was involved so you know to be prepared in case they hacked your radio signal.

Curtis was sitting in front of you, behind your screens, watching the touchscreen tablet with rapt attention. Karen and Foggy were pacing nervously, like wild animals caught in a cage and you couldn't help but feel bad for them. You were in the middle of showing Amy how to manually keep the surveillance in sync with the other two screens when a notification from one of your programs popped up. You specifically made it to pick up when your earpieces were being tracked.

"What's that for?" Amy asked, pointing to it and turning to you.

"Uh..." You stutter for a second, making everyone look to you.

Quick as you can, you start getting up surveillance for around the building you were all in and you zero in on a van coming to a stop. Curtis stands up, going over to where he put his gun down and triple-checking that it was loaded.

"Cypher?" Amy grabs your arm, a stab of fear going through you both as you see armed men leaving the van.

"You three," You got Amy on her feet and pointed to Karen and Foggy to get their attention. "In the back room now."

When Amy ran off to grab the door you felt around your body for the weapons that Frank was insistent on helping strap to your body. One handgun at your hip, the bowie knife at the other, the other handgun under your arm, and the assault rifle on the table. When they were all behind the door and the lock clicked over, you gave Curtis a look and picked up the rifle, aiming it at the door.

"What's going on?" Frank's gruff voice sounded through your earpiece.

"We've got a problem here." Curtis said into the walkie-talkie you had to give him due to not having enough earpieces.

"We should be fine." You say confidently, turning the safety off. "I looked ahead and there's hardly anyone there. You're good to go in and get the boys."

"There's probably no one there because they sent them here!" Curtis hissed at you.

"What do you mean? How many are there?" Matt asked, sounding like he had stopped moving.

"Get the boys Matt." You ordered. "I'm going off coms, you don't need to hear this."

That was the last thing they heard from your earpiece before there was a beep signaling to all of them that it had been turned off. Frank cast a look at Dinah, allowing his worry to spill out into his expression just as they came up to the warehouse.

"She'll be fine Castle." She reassures him sternly, taking out her gun and turning off the safety. "She sounds like she's looking forward to it."

The whole time they were going through the warehouse to where they were keeping John's sons, Frank couldn't stop worrying. It affected him so much that Dinah saved his ass all of three times when his back was turned, making her huff and silently count each time on her fingers in his face. When they got the boys out and into Madani's van he tried to call you.

Eighteen times.

And you didn't pick up once.

When they made it back Frank put a hand to Matt's chest to stop him from coming with them.

"You should hang back." Frank said calmly like his own heart wasn't racing.

"I'm not too good with kids, Frank." He replied agitated and shifting from one foot to another.

"You're not too good with death either, Red." Frank retorted gruffly. "Hang back."

There was suddenly loud shouting that everyone immediately knew was coming from you, making Frank and Dinah start sprinting to the entrance. You sounded like a wild animal, yelling and growling echoing through the halls. They came up to the room that you and the rest of them were in, dead bodies lying on one another at the door and bullet holes in the walls. You were growling lowly now like you were putting in a tremendous amount of effort into something.

Dinah went around the corner first, going low onto one knee and her gun aimed at anything that moved while Frank stayed standing above her doing the same. Curtis was sitting on the ground panting with blood splatters on his face staring at you.

You were hunched over, straddling the chest of an armoured man and pressing down on his throat with all your might. You were covered in blood, your face streaked so badly it was a miracle that they could see your hard expression with a cut that went from your forehead, across your temple, and into your hairline. You were frowning angrily, teeth bared and breathing heavily, bloody hands shaking with the strength it took to choke the man. When he stopped moving, you pressed down just a little harder before releasing him and letting out a short yell from strain.

You lean back on your hunches, tilting your head back and revealing a traumatised Amy curled up watching with wide eyes. Your hands sit on your thighs, palms facing up and Frank realises that the reason they're so bloody is that they look like they've gone through the garbage disposal.

"Amy," You say, snapping Frank's attention back to your face, which was now looking at Amy. "Sweetie? Look at me."

"He-he-" Amy stuttered, trying to shake herself out of it.

"Look at me, baby, okay? Look at me." You crawl towards her, your own voice starting to crack and it breaks Frank out of his shock. He starts towards Curtis but he waves Frank off before he gets too close. "You're okay, baby, you're okay. He's not getting up. Yeah?" Frank freezes at the comforting words, shocked at how well you're handling Amy. "He's not going to hurt you, okay?"

"Mhm." Amy nods her head vigorously, silent tears streaming down her face. "Yeah, yeah. Okay."

No one saw one of the men get up from behind your computers.

"Yeah? Okay." You nod at her like you're agreeing with what she's saying as if you didn't say it first. "Can you do something for me, baby?"

"Yeah! Yeah." Amy nods quickly again, ready and willing to do anything you ask.

"I need you to go and check on Karen and Foggy for me. Can you do that?" You ask, and Frank knows it's so that Karen will see how traumatised Amy is and give her the physical comfort you couldn't give her right now. "You need to make sure that they're okay."

"I can-I can do that." Amy goes to get up when you give her the warmest smile under all the blood.

"Thank you. Can you do something else for me?" You ask again, looking up at her now that she's standing. "Can you help me up?"

"Oh god! Yeah." Amy goes down into a squat, grabbing a hold of your biceps and helping you up onto shakey legs. You made sure to keep your palms facing you to not get any more blood on her.

"Thanks." You said, knocking your head with hers lightly before Amy turned and stumbled to where Karen and Foggy were.

You turned to Frank and Dinah, and both of them put their guns away to watch the interaction. You start to stand up straight, loud cracking through your back going off and you groan as you stretch out slightly at all the popping. You heavily sigh, still slightly panting as you look at Frank.

"Was I right?" You ask. "There was hardly anyone there, right?"

"You need to sit down." Dinah said, watching you carefully as you went to go to your computers again.

"I was right though." Then you round the corner and there was the crouching man. "Shit!"

He jumps out at you, going for a hit to the stomach but you bring your leg up to block. Your fighting stance was impeccable, hands up protecting your face and light on your feet. Frank realises that you've been trained, so, he hangs back, watching you work. When he goes to strike again you grab onto his arm and spin, turning your back to him, and then run him into the table. Dinah had taken out her gun, aiming it at the man and yelling for you to get out of the way so she could get a clear shot. When he hits it with a grunt, you bring your arm above his and start smashing your elbow into his face repeatedly, grunting for each hit. The man pulls out a knife and swipes, slashing at your hip making you get off him but not without grabbing at another bowie knife he had strapped on his back. You both circled one another like predators, him with his boisterous and self-assured steps and you slinking like a wild cat ready to strike.

He strikes out first and you dodge, moving out of the way and kicking him in the gut with a loud yell making him hunch over. A few more blows were landed from both of you before you had him backed up on the table again. This time you were so worked up and ready to finish this that the first chance you got you brought the blade down on his flat palm with another yell. It went straight through his hand and into the table, making him scream out from the pain.

In a split second, you saw him pull back his other hand with the knife in it ready to slash at you again. You sounded wild again, a mix of growling and yelling leaving you as you grabbed the back of the man's head, yanked the knife from the table, and brought him in close. You kicked his knees out, using the leg to hold him in place below you as you sunk the knife into his neck. More growling and yelling leaving you in heaves as the man struggled under you, truly like you were a wild animal holding a kill in her jaws as it died.

"One Mississippi." You grit out, closing your eyes and panting loudly, grunting here and there when the man still twitched. "Two Mississippi." You said just a touch calmer and your pants slowed down, slowly, slowly getting calmer and Frank slowly started to walk over to you. "Three Mississippi."

You brought your leg down and yanked the knife from his throat making a spray of blood hit Frank's boots. You stood there for a second, head craned up as you took in a few more breaths still holding the knife in a tight grip. You bring your head down and look at the knife, shakily bringing it away from you before hastily dropping it like it was searing hot. Frank knew it was from the cuts on the palms of your hands, that holding anything in that grip was bound to make the wounds worse. You sat down heavily, sighing deeply again and laying your palms upright on your thighs as they continued to bleed.

"Medic should be here soon." Dinah said and Frank realised he was so enraptured with you that he didn't even hear her on the phone.

"That's good." You say softly, still panting. "Curtis really needs it."

"Get fucked, Cypher." Curtis laughs, shaking his head.

Frank goes to be beside you, squatting down and putting his hand on your forearm to see the damage.

"You been holdin' out on me, sweetheart." He said.

You let out a breathy chuckle. "Well, you know what some men are like." You say, giving him a half-lidded stare that was half flirty and half tired. "Didn't wanna scare ya off. I'm a screamer."

Frank chuckles and watches as your eyes close softly at the sound.

"Hey, hey," He leans down and kisses your wrist before coming back up and cupping your cheek. "None of that, doll. Eyes open for me, yeah?"

"I bet you say that to all the girls." Your eyes flutter open and you give him the best smile you can muster.

#frank castle x reader #frank castle fic #frank castle fanfic #the punisher x reader #the punisher fic #the punisher fanfic #marvel fic #marvel fanfic

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kennysboxergf · 1 year ago

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Attractiveness scale

Im trying to sleep at the moment but the sleep just ain’t coming ya know so im gonna post this and dip but I wanted to rate the Beta Squad members and a few of the guests by attractiveness for fun 🤷‍♀️

this is personal so like not who’s conventionally attractive but who is to me 🤭

the ten ppl I will be ranking are Sharky, Kenny, Chunkz, AJ, Niko (obvs) and then Darkest, Filly, Gib, HP and Johnny Carey cus i cant remember no one else

also no one talk about the spelling mistakes in this it’s late and i dont wanna spell check rn

Coming in on Number Ten its

10 - Harry Pinero

his hairlines reached the base of his skull at this point and he’s just never really been my fav guest so he gets last place unfortunately 😕😕 i think this is only bcus he violates my faves and I stand up against bullying thank you very much

9 - Yung Filly

ok yall gonna get mad at me for this one but he’s very bf material i cant lie just not very attractive for me? There’s some vids and photos where he’s like FINNEEE but then most of the time he’s mad funny and cute just not that attractive ya know and he looks like he’s 4’3”, like I KNOW he’s taller but he dresses and the way he moves idk he moves short af

8 - AnesonGib

ok so I had him 6th originally but I acc looked at pics of him and changed my mind, I have not seen a single Gib vid like from his own channel, ive seen gib in the Mafia vid, some old Chunkz vids and ive seen his fights but he’s so FINE and underrated as fuck like?? Appreciate this man?? And he seems mad kind. I <3 Gib. I do not know anything about him tho but I recently saw a vid of Chunkz from like 6 years ago with him in it and Young gib? Mad fine but also he looks almost child entertainer ish so do with that what you will

7 - Chunkz

aight ya ok, my BAD, im SORRY but like he’s just not it for me, he’s leng i wont lie but like he’s so authoritative and i cant with that ya know? Like I need a chill man for me im somehow worried this man gonna slap my neck if I talk back and im not tryna get treated like toddler im tryna be your girl? calm ur ass down and we talk

6 - AJ

ok SO I know, I know, im going to get absolutely dragged and maybe even jumped for how low this is but like once again he’s very aggressive and sh and I cnat deal with that, he MAD fine tho he’s so Hahrhdhhfbdnsk but like I rate the others better he is taller then me tho so he can have that

5 - Johnny Carey

YALL SLEEP ON THIS MAN, YALL ARE SNORING AND DROLLING AND EVERYHTING CUS THIS MAN IS SO FINE like I cnat deal with him he’s so fine to me? Like yeah he looks a little wonky and asymmetrical but like? Have you seen the wya he looks at people? Omgmgmmgmg

4 - Kenny

considerably low considering my username but ive developed as a person dont judge me but he mad mad good looking, when he boxes?? 10/10 in a track suit?? 10/10 this entire man is one big SMASH like ❤️

3 - Niko

this man is so cute but also hot its weird to believe he exists like?? I want to climb him like a tree, nuff said and maybe he IS a little lanky but he’s MY sorta lanky (ive always been this way, the nickname for my crush in middle school was lanky tree like taht legit what he called him and looking back he WAS lanky af)

2 - Sharky

Sharky, Sharky, Sharky where do I even start? I think the Sharky girlies on here have said enough for me, he’s hot, he’s cute, he’s nice, he’s funny what more do you even want? And he dresses so NICE and his smile is so SWEET and he’s CARING like omg I might fall in luv and his Hands. Thats it. Look at his hands my Lordy lord.

1 - Darkest Man

my bae, my love, I will defend his bald head for life, Aaliyah has SPOILED me by mentioning how fine he was cus now i cant Stop watching every video ever with him in it, ive watched FootAsylum, his own channel, Chunkz Channel, Sharky’s Channel, even JD sports just to watch him on my screen like he’s so funny I’m cracking up every other second and he looks good doing it too and the faces he makes and HIS HANDS omg dont even get me started heiwkwkskfb I cnat even he’s my no. 1 🫶🫶

Done

ok so taht was my list and now im gonna nominate my mutuals to do this too, you can go for the same guests or choose your own its entirely up to you but I wann see some more opinions so please do it 🫶🫶

Taglist- @b4tasquad @allygatcr @shuuuuush @vctrvn-ls

Sadly that is all my moots, I thought I had more but thats it I guess, I hope yall can find time to do this otherwise its fine 😭🫶

#beta squad #niko omilana #sharky #king kenny #aj shabeel #chunkz #darkest man #johnny carey #harry pinero #yung filly #anesongib

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dazed--xx · 1 year ago

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What are your favorite Hyunjin five you’ve read?

Lol this is a long list but if you’re asking for series then my favs are (in no particular order)

Watercolor by @jinhyun ( ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS SERIES!! Lol and the writer knows it. I will recommend this to literally everyone if I had to choose a number one of my favs this would definitely be a contender. Female lead is cute and determined and Hyunjin….JESUS Hyunjin made me want to put my head through the wall at one point but he was literally just adorable after certain events. It’s so good full of Fluff angst and then occasional smut but not really a lot so good.)

Star lost with you and Only fools fall for you by @hyunjinspark (this counts as one cause it’s the same writer 😭) (I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS ABOUT ONLY FOOLS ITS LITERALLY AMAZING AND FRUSTRATING AT THE SAME TIME. Full of angst and smut if that’s your thing I really like this fic cause I’m in love with the enemies to lovers trope it’s so well written and I just can’t get over it. STAR LOST is still being written and the last update made me cry 😭 it draws you in and has so much going on I’m so invested like these people are real)

The guy next door- @jl-micasea-fics (so one of my favorite movies in the entire world is the girl next door and I could tell off rip this has the same concept. Love Hyunjin in this yet I just absolutely hate porn names lol 😂 only thing that makes me cringe is the porn names but you have to have that in this it’s amazingly written and heartbreaking and ugh you’ll dream about Hyunjin tbh 😭)

Jealousy is…. And Goodnight moon by @whatsk-poppinhomies(jealousy is…is the first part goodnight moon is like the second part it’s so damn good) (THESE ARE YANDERE FICS AND THEYRE THE BEST ONES IVE EVER READ DONT ONLY READ HYUNJINS READ THEM ALL THEYRE SO FUCKING CAPTIVATING AND UGHHHHHHHH IM LITERALLY OBSESSED WITH THIS WRITER AND YOU SHOULD JUST CHECK OUT ALL OF THEIR WORKS BUT THIS SERIES MAKES YOUR HEART POUND AND GIVES YOU LIFE ANGSTY AF AND THE GUYS ARE WALKING RED FLAGS BUT YOU BECOME SO OBSESSED WITH IT THAT ITS OKAY)

Maybe it’s not our fault by @cosmic-railwayxo (incomplete 🥲🥲🥲 unfortunately but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth the wait if the writer gets back to it it’s so good. Exes au tbh and I love it so much there’s so many misunderstandings and heartbreak yet there’s fluffy warm moments ugh you’ll be rooting for them for such a long time and always find yourself looking back to see an update cause you have to see what happens next. I love every character in this and idek why they’re so compelling and just make you feel so many things)

Lol as you can see I couldn’t just pick 5 fics so I picked 5 writers 😭 but I find myself just enjoying a whole bunch of stuff and there’s one fic that I literally can’t find it’s older and about hyunjin but I think the writer deactivated it’s my fav fic and I’ll describe it for you but I wish I could link it cause it would be my legit number one but it’s about a struggling relationship with hyunjin he’s been distant not answering calls texts and the reader decided she had enough so she asks to take a break and he begs her not to, that he wants to be with her and he’s sorry so she gives him a second chance. Her best friend is Chan and there’s multiple parts to it. At one part they go to some party or something and hyunjin gets jealous she was hanging out with Chan so he makes it seem like he was flirting with some girl and the reader sees and storms out Chan gets rightfully pissed and tells him he fucked up for the last time and ugh it’s so angsty and good they do end up together but I can’t ever find it but I hope you enjoy reading those if you haven’t and if you have lmk which ones you like

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neonmetro · 2 months ago

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OMG MERMAID MELODY ?????? OMG IM GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE I LOVE THAT SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH. AND SHUGO CHARA......OH BROTHER... THOSE TWO I LOVE SOOOO MUCH AS A KID BUT COULD NEVERR FIND THE TITLES FOR THEM BECAUSE I COULD ONLY FIND EPISODES ON YOUTUBE RIGHT ?? BUT HOLY SHIT MY NEW SCHOOL ACTUALLY HAS LIKE 10 FUCKING BOOKS OF SHUGO CHARA IM THEIR LIBRARY AND I LOST MY SHIT OVER IT ( I'm literally such a die hard for Shugo chara I'm so glad someone shares the love for it like I do )

IM PRECURE WAS LITERALLY MY LIFE I FEAR.........I've watched every single one and ohhh boy 😭😭😭😭 AND IVE WANTED THE TOYS SINCE I WAS LITTLE.....BUT THEIR SO EXPENSIVE ONLINE !!!!!!! *shakes fist in the sky* BUT GLITTER FORCE WAS DEFINITELY INTERESTING ? SO SAY THE LEAST LMAO *cries*

I remember when I first watched madoka magica......God bless I cried so much ( I still loved it though ) I tried to watch it a second time and completely forgot my little sister was in the room LMAO and had to turn it off because she got scared 😞😞😞😞

But another mahou shojo I LOVE TO DEATH is Ojamajo doremi. THAT TOOK UP ALOT OF MY CHILDHOOD......I JUST LOVE THE WAY THEY TRANSFORMMMMM THE MUSIC AND EVERYTHING IS SO AWESOME AND JUST SO...RAHHHHHH

I also have the card captor sakura Clow cards sitting in my room rn.....( and up to book 6 of sailor moon ) I stare at it everyday THEIR SO PRETTY. I also have sailor moon figures and I sailor moon.... GUYS, I THINK PARIS ANON LIKE MAGICAL GIRL....!!!!!

while I'm on this may, I recommend some precure you might like based on other magical girl shows you seem interested in.......

Star twinkle precure - I LOVE THIS ONE SOOOO MUCH.....it's about a girl who meets an alien girl, and it's so sweet *wipes tear in yuri* the way they transform is to DIEEE FOR. they draw out their transformations while singing, and it's AWESOME they also collect zodiac pins and can transform into said Zodiac :3

Go ! Princess Precure - this one kinda reminded me of pitchi pitchi mermaid melody for some reason.....probably because theirs a mermaid cure but ANYWAYS it's about a girl who goes to an elite school and it's so awesome, especially with the princess theme

Kira Kira al a mode - this one is about food.....which is so awesome it's about how food provides happiness and if you don't put love into the food you make then the world becomes sad....( they also run a cafe similar to Tokyo mew mew ) they are also based on animals :3

Heart catch - that one is always everyone's favorite, and I swear anyone who has watched precure has recommended this one first. It's honestly just peak

I COULD RECOMMEND THE WHOLE FRANCHISE BUT.......THANK YOU NEON I LOVE RANTING ABOUT MAGICAL GIRLS.....

-paris anon

SHUGO CHARA LEGIT CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY. THE SHEER STYLE AND TOPICS THAT THEY DELVE INTO (that aren't about that fuck ass emo cat) ARE DONE SO WELL....

PRECURE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD 😢😭😭😭 i really need to watch it but idk if it has a dub and my little goldfish needs it to be dub otherwise i get bored.... (so um. that's why i watched glitter force .)

THE TOYS ARE GENUINELY SO COOL LIKE i got 4 big ones but these are the ones i can immediately find)

YEAH THAT'S THE UNFORTUNATE PART OF PMMM YOU WILL IN FACT GET TRAUMATIZED IF YOU'RE TOO YOUNG AND BE SCARED OF PEAK...

OHHH I SAW DOREMI BEFORE .... tbh taiwan has so much gacha of it ??? didn't know it was so popular there but their designs are sooo cutes

SAILOR MOON COVERS IS GENUINELY SO PEAK. i got a random assortment...?? idk i also got 2 vols of the japanese ver but their covers are of my fav characters so its so awesome

OHHH MY GOD SAILOR MOON FIGURES...... THAT SOUNDS SO AWESOMEEE SAKURA MERCH IS SOOO PRETTYYYY like how do they do it. what crack cocaine do they feed those merch artists

been thinking about getting some bc i just rewatched crystal but also I Don't Think I Have The Room for more figures lol...

I'LL DEF HAVE TO CHECK THESE SHOWS OUTTTTT TY PARIS ANON FOR THE RECOMMENDATIONS!!!! houghhgg you got me at mermaid and zodiac i am a SUCKER for that stuff I NEED MORE FRILLY MAGICAL GIRLS I'VE BEEN DEPRIVED OF IT FOR TOO LONG (RIPS OFF MY SHIRT

(QUICK EDIT I JUST READ THE 2ND ASK)

OFCCC I LOVE HEARING OTHER PEOPLE RANT ABOUT MAHOU SHOUJO ITS SO NICE TO TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT THIS AWESOME GENRE.......

#ask #neon tedtalks #long post

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saintlaurentproblems · 2 years ago

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Im dying at the anon talking about avril lavignes bfs being her drug plugs cause ive been thinking that for years!!! I also think tygas her handler now or smt lmaooo he came out w a song recently and the lyrics are “she need a job i give her one”. I remember years ago girls were exposing him for soliciting them through social media lol he would tell them it was “fuckin for bread, like tazs angels” 😭 and he gifts all his gfs cars/jewelry/etc even though hes “broke”, like he gave avril that ugly necklace a while ago, but yeah avrils posts the past few months have been more and more sexy. Shes not a broke girl though so maybe shes just doing it for the thrill of it? I mean mgk is probably a pimp and/or drugdealer and modsun is like his partner in crime. I dont think chad is anything though i think that was legit or a bearding situation. Modsun and deryck whibley BOTH went out with this bitch named hannah beth who if you look her up everyone says is a dealer. And then theres the whole avril/deryck/paris mess and then modsun/bella/tana. Avril has also gone out w brandon firecrotch, wilmer valderrama, marilyn manson, jr rotem, ryan cabrera, literally every man on her fuck list is bad. Theres too many connections the deeper you look into this whole slimy group of people plus her “lyme disease” but it weirdly brings me peace knowihng avril is not in love w these dick heads and is probably a lesbian or something, but.. girl stop embarrassing yourself. (You dont have to post this i just want you to know the tea lol.)

Okay Avril dating tyga for drugs makes the most sense. The two most random people to date in Hollywood.

#answered

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floaromatown · 24 days ago

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do you have any tips about getting PR in canada, i'm trying to figure this out with my gf who lives in america (also idv edaters. unfortunately)

WE WERE NOT IDV EDATERS SCREAMMMMM you should have just kicked sand in my eyes. i begged him to play idv with me he wouldnt cos he was scared. anyway.

unfortunately my tips are very limited as ive been 'done' with the bullshit for over a year now. and like immigration lawyers literally get paid thousands cause its so complicated :( like not in a 'pay me' way but like its an insane feat to pull off without professional help. that and pr shit is changing all the time so im sure a lot of what i experienced is outdated

i spent like 1.5 years no exaggeration in the pr RESEARCH mines (mostly on r/immigrationcanada) and honestly i still felt like i was learning new shit right up until the day i submitted my application. and then more and more after i had submitted it. its really really hard unfortunately. i really advise asking/searching for questions on that subreddit whenever possible, there are a lot of people who can help when youre unsure.

if it wasnt clear you have to be married to apply for the spousal sponsorship, which as far as I understand is pretty much how most american to ca prships happen. if you (when i say you i mean your american girl bc thats the perspective im coming from) happen to have a skilled job (the canadian gov website has a key to determine if your job classifies as skilled) then I believe there is another route, but I wasn't eligible so idk shit about that. dont bother looking into whether you qualify as common law or conjugal or whatever bc you very very likely dont meet their standards. i got married in the states a week before crossing the border, your marriage certificate would be valid in canada

off the bat i would say, unless you know for sure your living situation would 100% COMPLETELY PROVIDE FOR YOU for 6 months to a year, then you should probably apply for an OUTLAND spousal sponsorship. if you move in together in canada and apply for INLAND spousal sponsorship then you cannot work period, there is no legal way for you to make any cent of income. you will not be eligible for provincial healthcare, so i recommend getting long term travel insurance (i rec geoblue). the border is a whole other ordeal if you don't have any status in canada, you can't look like you're moving (i.e no moving boxes no tons of luggage) you can't look like you're eloping or staying for more than a couple months and even if you do everything right they still may suspect you and deny you entry. i did inland and it was really really difficult and at times scary for these reasons, i did not exactly do some things by the book in order to get by *WINKKK*. if you can stand to get married and then part for upwards of a year then i would really really suggest the outland route. unless youll be provided for then GOOD FOR YOU *shaking fist* random but americans also have to continue filing us taxes even if they have moved out of country. so remember that.

moreso tips umm DOCUMENT EVERYTHINGGG YOU DO TOGETHER this is my biggest piece of advice. you have to prove your relationship is legit, here is a list of stuff i included in my application:

receipts/the route we took for our honeymoon

screenshots of support from relatives, like facebook or other social media posts acknowledging your relationship

we got our wills done to make each other the sole benefactor

receipts and pictures of gifts weve gotten each other

photos of both of you with friends and family is 100% required

proof of past visits to each other

receipts and pics for past dates/outings/events

letters of support from family/friends (i got these notarized)

lots of stuff from online chat logs/social media. pictures of chats, phone calls, video calls from across years. i think i included at least one of each from every month since we got together. chats should be relevant to relationship stuff like discussing moving in, getting married, relatives, etc.

a letter detailing our relationship with exact dates, locations, etc. like when we met, when we started dating, when we visited, how we got engaged, etc. you have to make a case for yourself as if you were in court.

if youre researching stuff there is honestly not a lot of resources specifically for edaters! so many people like have like children together in another country or have been established there as a married couples for years so they have a ton of foundation to work off of. canada doesnt just want to see that youre in love they want to see the work that goes into that, like shared leases and joint bank accounts and years of financial support and children etc etc. it sucks but you have to justify it in other ways when youre (im assuming) young and childless and unmarried until recently. you can get some of those things once you move in together but idk, i was rather safe than sorry an scrounged up all the 'soft' evidence i could right up until i submitted it.

i think thats about it i wish i could help more lol. its definitely one of the hardest things ive had to do like emotionally financially temporally effortfully lmfao. good luck?!

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montyywritess · 1 year ago

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pet loss. ive already flooded my other socials w this grief so i have nowhere else to put ittt. there's legit nothing happy under the readmore as a warning. sheer vent post. was going to just draft it but i need to TALK about her.

my brain just has broken. it's only been a day so i know the pain is nowhere near over. truthfully, i think i could be in my 50s or 60s and still cry about my baby girl.

i just hate that the waves seem so strong and from nowhere too. i can just be talking about nothing even related to losing my dog, and i'll feel bad for laughing. i'll feel bad for feeling any joy. because it's not TRUE joy. because i know my true happiness was when i was going on walks with her, or cuddling her on the couch. or when she tapped my hand for more attention.

i feel like there's been an injustice, how a dog so loving and sweet had to die. and why did the world have to keep on going without her.

14 years of my life is such a long time when im not even 30 yet. and she's loved me during all of them. quite literally at my worst, she's seen me through it all. and she HAS. she wasn't just a dog that was 'there.' my babs was so observant, so in tune with everything i did. she followed me like a shadow. she knew when i was sad, she knew when i needed cheering up.

when i first moved away from home at 17. every triumph and every low point, she was there.

what's crazy is i didn't even need to train her? for anything. she never once had an accident in the house, until towards the end of her life. i showed her once, pee outside. and she did it ever since. i didn't need to train her on or off a lead. she knew. she just KNEW. she stayed by my side if we went on walks alone. the furthest she'd ever go was a few paces ahead, and then she'd stop to check i was still there. she'd only ever trot away further if i was with other people, but then she'd bound on back to us to make sure we were still together. she never was aggressive in the slightest. she was patient with everybody. as i went on to welcome cats and other dogs into our lives, she SHOWED THEM THE ROPES. she welcomed them too. she taught our other dog lola basically everything too, as we rescued lols from a neglectful situation, she didn't even know how to play with toys, but baby showed her. baby was and is the definition of perfection.

i even remember when she had her head buried in some tall grass, a HUGEE mastiff came running on over to her. she was still sniffing away. and then he said hi by sniffing her butt. she didn't even jump. she slowly lifted her head out of the grass and gave him a ??? look. like he was a peasant disturbing her.

babs absolutely made everybody fall in love with her whoever met her. even people who hate chihuahuas. "i never knew they were like this?" ALL of them said it.

there's only been two times in her life that she showed a mean streak and that was protecting me from people who meant me harm. despite her size, she was willing to hurt herself to save me. obviously i didn't let that happen but the fact she was willing to, meant everything.

she slept with me every night, tucked herself in the crook of my knees and we'd be like book ends. sometimes i'd wake up with her head on my pillow, tucked in the covers like she was a human.

there was something magical about her, that i've never had with any other dog. not even dogs i've owned or fostered. like she'd been on this earth before. so wise and kind.

i have SO many beautiful memories of her i've ordered a huge journal where i will start writing them as they come to me, so they can be remembered forever because i'm terrified of forgetting them.

but now i have one horrible memory that wont leave me and thats of her taking her last breath in my arms. i couldn't stop telling her thank you, and telling her it was okay. but its burned into my brain and i feel sick. i can't sleep because of it. i know that i owed it to her to be there, to make sure she wasn't wondering where i was. because she would have. i owed it to our bond and the 14 years of her always being there for me. but fuck, it's awful.

all of this feels so fucking wrong. i dont think i was supposed to be here without her and now im just stuck. now the rest of my life, she won't be there. it's not fair.

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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago

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I have just remembered readmores sry..also this post took me 2 hours 2 write sry. i rambled

ALABAMA

well i do think of sweet home alabama. ive never been idt aside maybe we mightve drove through it when we went 2 florida. however im always there for a southern state I support them when no one else does (unless its florida). so slay 4 that. i do also think of the you know what jokes which r disgusting nd i fucking hate them so bad and i hate that i cant hear the song without thinking of them. but anyways..

ALASKA

it was in the Simpsons movie so theres that. and one time on like hgtv or something i saw them building a house in alaska . actually im pretty sure the reason i specifically remember that is bc it was the day that um. girl i didnt mean for this podt to get dark so quick but i did watch it while i was at a pool party at my parents friends house and it was the time a kid. drowned. at the pool party and i was watching hgtv in the living room when i found out so. thats rly nothing to do with alaska but im pretty sure the hgtv i was watching was them building a house in alaska. it was cool looking ig

ARIZONA

hot there .. um thats all rly JFNFJFNG its hot its one of the four corners innit. i always do sporcles wirh my sibling fmously and one of the ones that traps me every single time is us states no borders minefield so i have the 4 corners fucking locked and loaded. iirc arizona is top right... if im wrong i have to restart us states no borders minefield from the beginning which. id rather kms.

ARKANSAS

i kno its pronounced are can saw (well rly i say it more like are kin saw) and i do pronounce it like that but my first thought every time i see it is Our kansas <33 so yeah. no real feelings on it i suppose... however southern states lets fucjing go number one number one. somehow i always forget where it is on the map even tho its legit Above louisiana.. but yesh anyways

CALIFORNIA

lmao. do i need 2 say anything. i suppose the worst part abt living in wa is tht im so much closer to california....

COLORADO

one of the 4 corners innit bottom left . ive just realized i got colorado and arizona mixed up its so fucking over 4 me whatever idecc. thats all rly isnt there skiing there... it may or nay not be the state where the name means something related to snow in spanish. idr.. my editors (myself on firefox) have informed me that it is not the state where the name means snowy in spanish. i suppose i dont know shit abt colorado v°v i think itnmay have been in an episode of whats new scooby doo.

CONNECTICUT

humiliating admission. during my dark quotev ages / my very first year on tumblr where i never rbed or posted Nything just lurked. well it was during my hetalia phase and there was this artist i was obsessed with who drew hetalia and they had 50 states ocs and their connecticut was like bffs with rhode island soim always like ahhh connecticut and rhode island. aside from that i do the ten i see joke with connecticut and it goes hey girl r u from connecticut bc yr the only connect i cut is there no smirk wink emoji. judt smirk and wink. my life fucking sucks. 😉 <- nvm hes the one o was thinking of. but the 50 states ocs things is humiliating bc i downloaded everry single image and Memorized them based on the facts so i in 6th grade would judt force my friends 2 read the facts to me to see how quick i could name the state. sigh...

DELAWARE

first state or whatever. idk fuck delaware its rly annoying on us states no outline minefield bc its so little. i suppose rhode island is worse since its smaller but its like Up marylands ass so it sucks. but ya idk irrelevant ass state

FLORIDA

i dont rly hate florida i just think its funny 2 hate it. ive beej twice and both times were fun aside from So fucking hot and humid like of the devil. and bugs... but ya. i like the beaches the atlantic is my good friend I DID nearly get eaten by gators not rly but kinda bc um. last time i went with my gran we went innertubing in this river that was like super red right. it was like the minerals or somrthing. so i was in the litle floatie having fun and then its time 2 get off and theres a little dock on the right side. I suddenly remember im not a good swimmer. im trying 2 doggy paddle over Failing oh god oh god everybodys yelling at me. i miss it. i keeo going. Suddenly the river is not cleared 4 ppl to be swimming in theres branches everywhere underwater etc im getting hit in the stomach my hairs grtting caught in branches i think idr i mightve been bald at the time. if i had hair it was getting tangled ok. harrowing. and then up ahead theres a fork in the river ajd i go left and atp im expecting 2 just fucking die yk. so im floating still getting hit by branches Cljnging to my floatie 4 life im like My fucking phone is with my family so how tf. am i going to let anybody know where i am if i do ever get out of this fucking river. but anyways so im flosting and MERCY i see kayakers and theyre like !? and im like crying and theyre like Omg come over here and theres a little like. concrete dock thing so i climb up on it and one of the kayakers let me borrow their phone to text my family basically. and then i found out if i had gone on the right side That leads to a big reservoir that has a ton of gators in it so i lmwouldve for sure been eatej probably. so yeah. my 2nd water related near desth experience in florida.. maybe i should stay away from there. anyways aside from that rhere were these cool springs they were so cold but it was fun ^_^ i also drove a truck 4 a little bit (just in my grans friends yard i was judt helping move it)

GEORGIA

georgia peachessss also jacob from drawfee is from there. i think theres somrthing else but idr.. iirc i lke their license plate but i wish it were pinker... georgia i associate it with a nice like dusty orangy pink... much like a peach one could say. i also love georgia accents...

HAWAII

caitlin doughty (of ask a mortician and order of the good death and death in the afternoon fame) was born in hawaii and im a huge fan of hers soooo yeah. aside from that i think hawaii should be free and death to america basically. itis very beautiful i will never go bc i think the tourism industry is of the fucking devil in hawaii.. so yes. i highly recommend looking into the cause and donating if u can.. on a deeply unserious note i also think of like..elvis and lilo and stitch. and elvis makes me think of my granny bc she loved elvis so theres that. one year 4 christmas my dad got her an elvis themed set of 3 mugs and she had this huge elvis blanket that was rly comfy we used to push the couches together in her room to make a like. boat kinda dhape and all the cousins would sleep in there it was fun. thats not rly hawaii related at all but i usually slept with the elvis blanket.

IDAHO

potatosssssss i love potsto so bad number one ever number one huge fan. aside from that i associate it with a deep sense of relief bc fucking driving thriugh montana was hell so when we finally got into idaho i was like Fuck yes lord. finally out of montana...

ILLINOIS

anither one where i know how its pronounced and i do pronounce it correctly but my first thouhht when i see it is illa noise. sry. girl are you from illinois bc yr the only ill i noise. so yeah basically. also borders ky and i get it mixed up on maps with indiana... iirc indiana is farther west. but i always wanna out illinois in ohios place and indiana in illinois place. but ohio also in ohios space. ig i judt forget its so west... i imagine them all as being sbove the big part of ky but indiana isnlike off 2 the side. over the thin part ykwin. so yeah.

INDIANA

well see above i covered most of it... also ofc Indianapolis which isnt what the race is called is it. thats judt the city. but the cars the indy 500... i know of thst..so yeah. i also love it when a states capitol is just the name of the state basicslly its so funny 2 me. like kansas city. indianapolis. there r others modt likely. love it no notes.

IOWA

iowa doeeees not border ky does it. where tf is iowa .. lrgit nothing 2 say abt it. i kinda hate that the abbreviation is IA bc i dont like it when the acronyms r 2 vowels i think its ugly. but i suppose io is also that . and also i dont like the name io 4 reasons 💀 and iw is kinda ugly looking. oh well. ig ia is the best option but im not particularly happy abt ot...

KANSAS

many associations 1. irs in the middle of rhe map i always always remember this. 2nd thing wizard of oz. yk. even tho wizard of oz pretty explicitly they Arent in kansas (anymore). but yk. and theres tornadoes and shit...the biggest association tho is im fucking genuinely terrified of it it is so insanely flst there like have you seen the highest point in kansas. its a fucking plain. and its called mt sunflower and its judt the ground rises up for like hundreds of miles 2 get to mount sunflower. fucking genuinely terrifying i feel like the fucking bird is going to get me... ive been aware of the bird SINCE BIRTH. 👇 mt sunflower btw. its cutesy but terrifies me

KENTUCKY

teehee... giggles... kicks my legs hey gorgeouss. tbh i dont actually rly and truly have any ky opinions Just fucking kidding lmao KY NUMBER ONEE bluegrass state horses.... lots of horse farms i love the beautiful appalachian mountains my good friends i love the weather i love all of it. i miss the pinnacles.... sometimes i play ky nighttime ambience on youtube and it makes me cry. so i suppose i associate ky with like. my entire life before i turned 18 LMAO. i also always think of cardinals since theyre the state bird and also cardinals r very special 2 me bc of the likee. belief that when u see a cardinal it means a loved one whos gone is there watching you. so everytime i see one i think of my granny bc shes got a little picture of a cardinal by her grave bc of that little saying. indont rly believe in ghosts or heaven but seeing cardinals does make me feel closer 2 her.. cardinals also dont exist in wa idt so. :(

LOUISIANA

well it is l shaped and next to texas... i will admit i dont know much modt of what i know is just like. new orleans and hurricane katrina... i think its cool tho yk. i also lovee lesrning abt all the creole languages bc i love linguistics. i think of princess and the frog bc tiana was my fav disney princess... b4 she existed it was belle but ive been a tiana girl since the movie came out :] so yes. im down with louisiana what is it ... it isnt la is it ? it is interesting.. far better than the other la LMAO

MAINE

i must think something abt it... oh all the shipwrecks maine has s lot of them innit. its the farthest north aside from alaska obviously. n there r alot of shipwrecks up alone the northeast coast so yes ! it is a new england state as well and im irrationally scared of new england bc its so fucking small up there its not normal. i feel new england could all be 1 state.... dgmw i think west coast states r scary as well. far too big a county in wa is like basicslly the size of all of new england. very terrifying. texas far too big its of the devil ! i think the ideal size for a state is probably aboutt 39,486 square miles of land and 921 square miles of water for a total mass of ~40408 square miles.if we must throw out numbers.but ya aside from that likee. clam chowder ig... i find the architecture in some spots quite charming... i think i have an ex mut from there i could probably say the name bc there are legit 3838473837474 transmascs with this name on tumblr. itis most likely the one yr thinking of if the one yr thinking of is also the name of a prominent character in the mechanisms 2nd studio album Ulysses dies at dawn. But i shant say it specifically jic. fine u caught me it is heracles (joke its ulysses (joke))) i wanna relisten to udad whatever.

MARYLAND

i think i mixed bits of msryland up with maine. yk why? too fucking small theyre bssically the same place we coukdve judt done one. the emoji that is suggested when i type small is 🦐 which is awesome . anyways i think marylands actually the clam chowder guys. did i ever mention clam chowder or did i get off topic. oh well. also nathan from drawfee is from maryland. sry ive been watching a lot of drawfee.

MASSACHUSETTES

i had a different ex mutual from here... umm the drivers suck. also its new england so booooo booooooo yankees...

MICHIGAN

there was this girl jn my 4th grade class who was very very red like constantly sunburnt and she had curly black hair that she always had in a braid and i fucking hated her so bad bc she was a bitch 2 me... like one time we had to do these wait no im mixing her up with fucking Gavin. ugh fucking gavin.... fuck gavin too oh my god fucking we had to do this poem abt where we lived so i wrote mine right. abt the shitty apartment complex i lived in. and then i was telling my friend abt it and we were in line and fucking Gavin went Nobody cares abt your stupid apartment... HE LIVED JN THE SAME FUCKJNG APARTMENT COMPLEX well complex is a weird word for it it was like. basically these long strips of houses and it was 12 to each sort of strip. and it would be like 212 was rhe building number youd say and the apartment would be #8.. so he lived in like. lets say i lived in 213 apartment 6. he lived in like 219 apartment 3 or something. like fuck offff he sucked. and also ppl did explicitly want to know abtnit That was the point of the fucking assignment. but anyways josie. thats the girls name btw she was from michigan.... but actually i think i stopped hating her bc i mentioned that i had made my own birthday cake and she thiught it ws rly cool and we talked abt baking so i think we were cook after that. but that was nesr the end of the year abd it was in computer lab .. so yes i like how i cant remember the period of my life from age like 11-15 but i do remember 4th grade in computer lab when she talked abt baking with me. but yeah basically. also i thinkk nichas family is from michigan so theres a good person from michigan.. come 2 think of it nicha kinda looked like josie her hair wasnt rly curly but she did have kind of red cheeks. woukdnt it be crazy if they were related.. idt so. but thatd be crazy. oh also michigan has the great lakes and is 2 parts so thats pretty cool

MINNESOTA

lol mini soda. little house on the prairie was in minnesota innit... i rly loved those books when i was a kid bc we had these like. heirloom copies from my moms granny so i rly liked them. Im sure they havent aged the best considering. theyre written by a colonist in the 1800s. but ya. wasnt minnesota also where kirsten lived... interesting. so ya theres rhat I suppose nothing else much 2 say.

MISSISSIPPI

mississippi river.. Hey girl r u from mississippi bc yr the only miss i sippy 😉 um yeah. i also always forget where this one goes but ive gotten better wirh it. i also think its quite fun to say and to write. mississippi it comes naturally 2 me.

MISSOURI

im losing steam a bit udk if u can tell but ive been writing this post 4 over an hour. I suppose the biggest thing i associate it iwth is that video of somebody zooming in on the welcome to missouri sign and then misery is playing on the radio so it goes I AM IN MIIIISSOURI! its rly funny. ya .. idk probably theres other things.

MONTANA

sucks 2 drive through in early march ill tell u that. was so bad .. iirc they had a rly rly fancy best western tho. but that akso mightve been in idaho or south dakota. Ive heard its quite nice when it isnt Hell but im never going back.. fuck montana 🖕 we were driving for fucking hiurs and hiurs bc we coukdnt find a hotek i think it was like 2am when we finally got 2 stop. and it was a whiteout so we were just driving on this unsalted like. rural ass 2 lane road behind a giant semi... bc withiut the semi we couldnt tell where the road was. bwsically it was bad. and also freezing.

NEBRASKA

i think i was lying when i said whatever state i said was in whats new scooby doo was in whats new scooby doo. i think it was nebraska the abominable snowman one that was crazy bc the abominable snowman was a robot but the gears were fucking made out of ice and shit .. and velma had a cold so she had 5000 layers. so basically yeah thats nebraska probably.

NEVADA

nevada means snow-covered/snowy in spanish. i bet youve been sitting on that since colorado. kind of funny that like the 2 things i thought of for colorado were actually abt nebraska (probably) and nevada . which r right next 2 eachither. but yeah nevada is the one that means snowy in spanish. i never took spanish classes i took french instead 💀 i wanna learn a language but im bsd with it... but i wont to one day. we will see... umm its also in californias little elbow bit yk. i get it mixed up with utah a lot. lh vegas is also here duh LMAO.

NEW HAMPSHIRE

fucking bew england idk go read my thoughts on fucking maine or maryland or fucking whatever. stupid ass region. oh but new hampshire is 69ing with vermont isnt it. yeah so theres that on a map new hampshire and vermont are 69ing.

NEW JERSEY

i went here 4 vacation once 4 like the summer solstice. to visit my godmother karyl... i think thats how its spelled its said like carol. iirc the reason my bn kamille has a k in it when it would be a c (camille) is bc my godmothers name also is spelled with a k when it would normally be a c. theres also a picture of me 4 like my 2nd ever trick or treat or maybe my first ever and karyl was there.... i was in a very cutesy butterfly costume and i think she was as well so we were matchy. YAY! shes cool i havent seen her in a rly long time tho. idk if shes still friends with my mom bc my mom lost a lot of friends bc of the whole. Thing yk we wont get jnto it

NEW MEXICO

Albuquerque is there and thats a fun thing to say and santa fe is also there. and breaking bad. santa fe reminds me of newsies which reminds me of. 💀. anyways. and like roswell and area 51 and the like.. is the grand canyon in new mexico? its also one ofthe 4 corners bottom right so its got that going 4 it. idk its probably hot here.. wait didnt so weird happen in new mexico. HOLD ON! no. wtf. i had a strong memory of it at least starting in new mexico... ig they were there for that like orbs episode. but famously they lived in a toue bus .. idk whyi thought they were like originally from new mexico. who tf is from new mexico... aside from mr breaking bad

NEW YORK

no one opens the door..... for a native new yorker. i do associate it with wendy williams which sucks bc shes a piece of shit. but also The Killer. um ya ill be real idk much abt new york outside of nyc LMAOO. julia from drawfee was born there and they all live in ny... formerly they all lived in brooklyn but now jacob and julia moved out to a smaller town outside nyc. well yeah. idk.. its new york. isnt it wheree kirsten came through when she first immigrated.. kirstens on the brain sry. im down with it 👍 my good friend miles is from there. and like all the other spiderpeople are too or whatever but my good friend miles,

NORTH CAROLINA

my friend marietta was from north carolina her initials were mmm. she ckuld be a bitch sometimes but she was cool. her and my kther friend brinn were constantly either besties or hated each other.... its sad i think they had a big argument and dont talk anymore. but i still like both of them me and brinn talk more but i miss marietta a lot... but ya. she rly loved north carolina and was homesick a lot and didnt rly like ky much. but she rly loved nc and was from like wayy uo high in the mountains. so i like nc bc she rly loved it :] i hope she was able to move back if she wanted to...

NORTH DAKOTA

shrug. whi cares. i associare it with south dakota which was rly cool when we drove through it like we kept seeing signs for the craziest shit on earth but we were budting ass 2 get to wa sk we didnt get to see any. but then on the way back my fucking sibling and my dad DID go to all those places... my archnemeses. that isnt rly relevant to nd but idk. its above south dakota v°v

OHIO

well jokingly i hate it. but its like fine. mixed bag.. ive got family up there on both sides so ive been there a couple times. and of course the huge plus is kings island which is my favorite theme park and i miss it and love it lots and lots.... :] and the cincinnati zoo is . a cool zoo but rather famously its also where ermmm. i meanni could say bc i literally started this post like I KNEW A KID WHO DROWNEDD but yk. basically its where i got child abused real bad LMAO. shoutout... so yk mixed bag like i said.

OKLAHOMA

itisss a little pot. saucepan? idk if modt.ppl call the like. little circle with long handle a saucepan or a pot.. a pot 2 me is the circles with the short handles on either side 🍲 like this. the other ones i also call them pots i also call them pans. idk what 2 call most things in a kitchen like a pan is like a pizza pan but also a frying pan/skillet and i also just call baking sheets pans. so.

OREGON

itis right below wa... i associate it with the oregon trail if im being honwst with u. nothing much 2 say portlands there which is kinda dire. um yeah whatever whi cares. hey girl r u from oregon bc yr the onle ore i gun. i kinda just say it like organ if im talking fast. or aura gin ... gin like git but with an n not gin like the spirit. 👻 boo! little joke. sry ive been writing this post 4 2 hours.

PENNSYLVANIA

one of the few ppl i truly truly hate is from pa. so. But it also gave me philly cheesesteak my good friend... its also new england so thats points away its also where the hersheys chocolate factory is i leanred that in 4th grade social studies.. surprised i was able to focus with fucking gavin being a little cunt. thats what we kn the industry call a 'callback'

RHODE ISLAND

too small.

SOUTH CAROLINA

this was the first place i ever went in vacation to... aside from like visiting family. like our entire family went my granny n papaw n my cousins... yayy it was fun we went to myrtle beach i wass 7? or 8. my baby sister was either a few months old or a year and a few months old and at one point she fell out of her stroller face first into the sand and it took us like a full minute to notice and she was NOT happy abt it LMAO but she was ok. umm this is where we got our turtle spyro :] my good friend spyro the turtle.. a fun fact abt spyro is when we first got him we thought he was a boy and then later i learned more abt how to sex a turtle and realized hes actually a girl. But we still call him a boy and ive decided hes a transgender legend...

SOUTH DAKOTA

see north dakota.

TENNESSEE

hey girl r u from tennessee bc yt the only ten i see 😉 YAYYYY. no thoughts aside from flat fuck. and borders ky to the south. i jokingly hate on it bc it borders ky tho. but rly its fine most likely

TEXAS

karena drawfee birn here. aside from that like its fucking texas. what do u want me to say its texas. unfortunately ik its where sheldon big bang theory is from so thats a major negative. aside from thst its just too big. stop all that.

UTAH

mormonism v°v also top left four corners. nothing else 2 say actually i think the grand canyon is here i may have lied earlier when i said it was wherever i said it was.

VERMONT

-50 points for new england +69 points for 69ing new hampshire. so 19 points which means nothing bc i havent given points to anything else. so ig vermonts winning since its the only one with points. retroactively 50000000000 points to ky.

VIRGINIA

virginia is funny bc it looks like ky fraternal twin. ik virginia came first but its kinda funny. ky looks better tho of course. its just fine but also its appalachian brother in arms 💪💪 sl rheres that. not as much a brother as wv is .. so yes. hey girl r u from virginia bc if yr a virgin i wanna be in ya. sry that one was actually kinda gross. i dont believe in virginity anyway

WASHINGTON

💀 no comment. well its fine i live here... ill probably like it more once i get out of the torment nexus and into my own apartment ^_^

WEST VIRGINIA

IM SO DOWN WITH WV brother in arms brother in arms lets go appalachia!!! i love the song like not even as a joke i love country roads. when we went on the dc trip we took 2 seperate busses bc there were so many 8th graders lmao but in BOTH busses when we crossed the wv border everybody was SCREAMING country roads bc it was the height of the meme. and ngl im chasing that high... yeah i like wv :] i do remember also during the dc trip that there were a bunch of brochures and one of them was just like THINGS YOU CANNOT FIND IN WV: THE OCEAN. WE ARE NOT COASTAL. YOURE THINKING OF VIRGINIA. DONT ASK US TO TELL YOU WHERE THE OCEAN IS BC IT ISNT HERE. ITS IN VIRGINIA. Which is funny

WISCONSIN

wisconsin six cheese or potentially actually four cheese i always forget. my favorite pizza from dominos aside frimt he illustrous greg if you dont know greg pay better attention 2 my posts. this is where laura ingalls wilder Of little house in the big woods was born... when i was little i wanted 2 live here bc i was quite enamored by the way she talked sbt her little cabin in the woods. so yeah.

WYOMING

sucks to end on such a lame state. nothing 2 say abt it. hey girl are you from wyoming bc yr the only why im ing. stupid. nothing 2 say. avtually rhis mightve been where that scooby doo episode was.

hope you enjoyed my factually correct opinions leave your thoughts down below. much love and ky number one go big blue go wildcats kentucky derby kentucky bourbon beautiful bluegrass state.

gonna post my thoughts on every single state. hold on...

#child death #<- insane tag to have to put on a post abt the 50 states.#long post #sowwy. this post took me literally 2 hours.

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unoriginalmess · 3 years ago

Text

A Second Mask: Chapter 4

Did that just happen?

Hello guys! It's me. I'm finally writing again. Sorry about the delay. I'm going to explain more at the end of the chapter, but I'm just going to keep the beginning short. So here is chapter 4:

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To say Adrien was concerned would be a huge understatement. He was downright disturbed. Its been weeks and still Marinette hadn't changed back to the happy, peppy, nice girl that he knew. AND SHE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!

He tried to talk to her for a whole week after her original trasformation, but after the repeated firm rejections, he stopped altogether. He figured that maybe with some space, she might be able to work through whatever she was going through, but at this point, he's losing hope.

When he is feeling this distressed about something, he usually turns to his lady, but she has been acting weird too. Ever since she suggested they start sparring, she's started to show that she is going through kinda a rough time as well. She is the same ladybug when everyone is watching, but when it's just the two of them, she looks sad and tired. She has also started saying some concerning things while they are sparring. She has started talking about how she has started taking being Ladybug and the Guardian more seriously, and how she has less distractions now, which would be a good thing if she didn't say them so sadly.

The good thing is, the sparring has given him a chance to get out his aggression because of the whole Marinette-situation and his anger at his father in a safe environment. He didn't like the idea of hitting Ladybug at first (especially in the face) but with her not holding back on her hits, he felt more comfortable doing the same. It has helped them fight better too. He hopes that whatever Ladybug is going through in her civillian life will work itself out soon, but until then he will be there for her. He just needs to figure out how to be there for Marinette.

•••

Felix was making good progress with Marinette. After they first asked marinette about (insert fashion question of your choice here, I legit know nothing and I didn't have time to research anything for this chapter), she had started answering their questions on a daily basis. After a couple of days of that, she had started to rant to them about different things in the fashion world that were bothering her, exciting her, or confusing her that particular day. In response to that, they had started to respond to her rants with their own opinions on the subjects and even start their own rants.

It had gotten to the point where Felix would now consider them to be friends, though they know that Marinette would never call them as such, it was fine with them. They know she has trust issues, and they can understand why, so they are fine with being friends in everything but a name.

Felix was looking forward to their daily banter as they waited in their seat for Marinette to arrive. When she did, she was followed by a very pissed-looking Alya. Felix turned to look at her and noticed that she had what looked to be tears forming in her eyes. What they didn't notice was the little black butterfly that had entered through the window in the back of the room, and was making a beeline towards her.

•••

Marinette walked to school in yet another one of her newest fashion creations: a pair of oversized grey ripped jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. She was actually really liking her new look, and the comfort that it offered was just an added plus.

She was actually feeling excited to talk to Felix about Gabriel Agreste's newest fashion flop. They were the only person that she had met that actually cared about fashion as much as her. It made her happy to talk to them. It kind of scared her how excited she was. Shouldn't she be distancing herself from everyone? she thought to herself. No. Felix isn't my friend, they aren't close to me, they are just someone I talk fashion with. Like a coworker, yeah. Totally. Felix is just a coworker. ("Liar" says the inner voice in her head)

She was shocked out of her thoughts when she was pulled to the side by someone as she entered the courtyard. Her mind immediately thought of an akuma, when the person spoke.

"Marinette! Girl," Oh it's just Alya. Wait Alya? "How long are you gonna keep up this cry for attention? Are you really THAT jealous of Lila? I know that Adrien likes her, but that doesn't give you the right to act like this! And you are hanging out with Felix, who accused her of sexually harrassing Adrien on their first day here-?" She looked absolutely furious at her, but Marinette had heard enough. She cut Alya off in the middle of her presumably long rant.

"ALYA!" Said girl jumped at both the inturruption and the tone of voice used, "First of all, this isn't a cry for attention, if anything its a cry for leaving me the fuck alone. Second of all, I'm not jealous of Lila. I'm not in love with Adrien anymore, and haven't been for a while. You knew that I was dating Luka right? Why would I care who Adrien likes? Lastly, I am allowed to hang out with whoever I choose, whether you like them or not. It's none of your fucking business Alya, and if you think that I'm just some jealous, attention-seeker why do you even care?" With that last question she stormed off to the classroom, leaving a speechless Alya behind her.

When marinette sat down in her seat, she just kept thinking about how Alya was just talking to her. How could she think that about her? They used to be best friends, and Alya wasn't even concerned about her not talking to her anymore, she was just concerned about her being "jealous of Lila". It made her so furious that she could feel tears trickling down her face. She sees the black butterfly out of the corner of her eye and without hesitation grabs it out of the air.

(Next part is taken from this post by @bigfatbreak)

"Go ahead and akumatize me- See what happens, Hawkmoth!" She screamed the words with a slight madness that the energy of the akuma was giving her, "Every leash has two ends! I just have to pull until I find where you're holding it!"

At this point, the entire class was frozen in place watching her and listening to her crazed-sounding voice threaten an actual terrorist. Marinette felt Hawkmoth's confusion and terror through the bond. What in the- She's sensing me through the Akuma?! The akuma then started to fly away, and when it couldn't it zapped her hand like it was made of lightning and fluttered through the same window it came from. Marinette felt like she had failed yet again and collapsed down on her desk, muttering, "Uuuuggghh. It escaped anyway... What a waste. I didn't realize that Hawkmoth was such a coward. He usually likes grandstand..."

She was startled when her hand was picked up by Felix's, "You likely scared him off by managing to locate him like that... A risky move, I should mention. I would ask that you not attempt that a second time. No one knows what his akuma is truly capable of. You'll want to keep off of this hand for a while, too."

"Oh, are those the doctor's orders? Why, Felix, it almost sounds like you care about meeee." Marinette was all too amused by Felix's concern for her. She also liked to tease them... AS COWORKERS DO.

"I have an investment in your presence. Now don't be cheeky and let's get you to the nurse's office," They said while holding her wrist and gently pulling her in that direction.

Marinette scoffed, "'An investment in my presence'??"

Felix chuckled while still semi-dragging her by the wrist towards the front of the room, being careful not to hurt her injury even worse, "What did I just say about being cheeky?"

On their way out of the door they passed a VERY distressed-looking Adrien. He seemed to be sharing the sentiment with the entire class of: Did that just happen?

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And thats chapter 4. It is VERY LATE! I know. I've been swamped with work, and when I went to write it, I had zero ideas on how to write this chapter. I never ended up getting those ideas. I just went where my writing took me, so if it doesn't really match the characters that's why. I will try to be better at updating regularly, but it probably won't happen. Sorry to everyone with a normal sleep schedule, but this is the time that I write things. Also I didn't have my outline with me while writing this chapter, so it might not have everything I planned to write in it.

I would like to thank you all for all of the support I've been getting on this fic. Despite all of the chapter delays, you guys have stuck with me through all of it, so thank each and every one of you. I love seeing so many people loving this au as much as I do. Without you guys this story wouldn't exist, and I would've stopped writing it after the first chapter.

As always, constructive criticism is always accepted. I love being able to improve my writing whenever possible.

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day/night/whenever you are reading this. See ya next time guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Taglist

@queer-illusion @apasponsor @heckinggremlin @1-ahiro-1 @hewantedbeefintheparkinglot @sassakitty @lennauts @rianoel @dorkus-minimus @khneltea @welp-that-was-unexpected @mlnchlymrshmllw @lovelyautumnsunflower @chariphrasis @lovesbooks @komatsuna-yuki @polyvirnl @innocentlyguiltyfrenchfry @qhobias @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @hammalammadamdam @cloudydaysomewhere @alcoholic-barney @basenikon @xxbehindthemaskxx @corporeal-terrestrial @shadowymemoirs @moonlight-densetsuu

#a second mask #feralnette #feralnette au #felinette #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #adrien agreste #felix culpa #marinette dupain cheng #here it finally is #idk why some of the tags arent working

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agrarianradfem · 3 years ago

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hey

i wanna be a proud radical feminist but i feel like that would force me to reject trans ppl and that would essentially make my life hell bc ive seen the shit they do ppl they disagree with

ive read all this shit about how terfs are a hate group and think men bad women good and are racist and colonialist and shit and it makes me think twice bc i don’t wanna be part of a legit hate group but i also dont wanna be part of a group of ppl who say “thats so gender” when they see a haircut they like and i definitely dont want to be part of the right like at all

am i a nazi for believing elliott page is still a woman? am i fucking crazy? like ive been having legit mental breakdowns over this and secretly reading terf groups at night for weeks now and now whenever i see a trans person i freak the fuck out on the inside and sometimes i start hyperventilating and i see them fucking everywhere bc i live on a college campus

i tried to bring it up with my counselor like “i don’t really get trans ppl and i dunno what to do about it” and shes like “me neither” but thats all it has ever been bc im scared im gonna be wrong and bad if i say more

i was a huge fucking hp fan as a kid and my mom gave me a hogwarts mug for christmas and i cant even look at it bc i just think of jkr and what happened to her

pls help me im so sorry for dumping on u

My first question is: what do you mean by proud? Do you envision yourself wearing tshirts with phrases like "The y chromosome is a defect" out in public? Because while such shirts might be funny (and fun to wear among friends), that's not what it is to be a radical feminist. Neither is posting radfem quotes to your public facebook or instagram, or anything else publicly confrontational. Instead, being a proud radical feminist is spending your time helping women. I like volunteering for food pantries/food banks/food rescues. Women and children are the most likely to be food insecure, so helping with food distribution fits well for me. But maybe something else is closer to your heart - like domestic violence shelters, rape crisis hotlines, mentoring female children, etc. Alternatively you could go into a job that helps women, like social work or medicine. Or you could become a foster parent who takes in girls, become a child advocate or doula. None of direct action really requires anything to do with trans anything. The number of trans people you'll run into is relatively small, and you're helping women and girls no matter how they feel (and people deserve to be helped anyway). I don't care if a trans woman comes for a food pantry volunteer position, or to pick up food at a distribution event. I'm not there to decide who is 'worthy' of giving their time or receiving help. And none of that is publicly confrontational like pins, shirts, and social media is. You do have a problem with trans people, clearly, since you're having psychological distress just at seeing someone who is or reads to you as trans. You've got to work on that. You cannot dictate the actions of others. And it's straight unhealthy to freak out at just seeing someone walking around minding their own business on campus. Students trying to get a speaker banned for transphobia is a problem, your dormmate from another floor walking to class is not a problem. You aren't a bad person for recognizing that Page and other trans people remain their biological sex, or believing that trans identity is a harmful backlash against feminism, or that porn is driving a lot of male transition, or that homophobia (for lesbians/bi women) is a driving force of transition. This is just recognizing the immutable fact of biological sex. Feeling bad for this recognition is something to work on - it's tied to women feeling guilt for every little thing. Let go of your guilt. My advice: LOG OFF. Reading radfem posts online is causing you real problems, and making you distressed about random people. Not good. Take a break. Realizing something is harmful for you, or that you have a limit that you've crossed is an important aspect of growing up and coming of age. Part of being mature is realizing what your limits are. And congrats, you've found a limit. You need to spend time reconnecting with the real world. Treat this like a good thing, something you've discovered about yourself that you now know going forward. Working on healing from this internet overload is a sign of maturity. Log off. Second: Do something directly useful that is meaningful to you. Ask other students for volunteer opportunities. Ask your counselor. Google for your area. See if there's an office for volunteering that can help you. This is related to logging off in that it reduces that amount of time you can spend online, and also introduces you to more people in real life. This helps develop nuance in your actions with others. Expands your understanding of where other people are coming from. And hopefully you can make some more friends. Be proud to be a feminist by helping women. Third: This is the hardest thing for many women: let go of your guilt and strengthen your backbone. Don't be afraid to be disliked. You aren't going to be able to please everybody. Enjoy your HP mug and if someone says something snide just say that the books were important to you and still are. Don't apologize for yourself. Don't feel guilt that you aren't living up to someone else's idea of what you should think about something.

And work on not imagining that everyone is watching you and trying to monitor your thoughts. That way lies serious paranoia. If no one says something to you, no one cares. Imagining the anger/disappointment/etc of others towards you is harmful behavior - you can't read minds. When you've healed, you can set boundaries and re-engage with some radical feminist literature. But I'd say give yourself AT LEAST 6 months away. And then really consider if it's going to be healthy for you to return or not. And if you do decide to return, engage not with twitter/tumblr/facebook/instagram, but with actual texts. Read Woman Hating. Read Invisible Women. Read a book about women in your field of interest. Texts that aren't just concerned with trans identity. You would have to build an understanding of radical feminism outside of transness, because no only is radical feminism about far more than trans identity, but without a foundational understanding of where radical feminism is coming from you can more easily once again fall down the rabbit hole into thinking that trans identity is the only thing that matters, etc. Delete your tumblr, your twitter. Lose your login info for your social media. As condescending as it can sound, it's nonetheless good advice: Go outside.

#don't take don't be afraid to be disliked as 'pick fights with as many people as you can'#it means don't bend yourself into knots to please people

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searidings · 4 years ago

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dude (gender neutral) ive spent the last few hours absolutely feral about the feelings “run the red out” had brought forth from my being. a few maximum damage moments:

- “Lena is her people, her person. Kara smiles at the man, slow and predatory. “Try me.” this quote literally hit so close to home, especially after yesterday’s ep with lena telling alex to tell her person. plus protective kara 🥵

- “Like, for example, the fact that she can’t stop touching Lena. She wants it, needs it like an insistent itch beneath her skin, addiction scratching through her veins.” this reminded me of a alex/sam+reign fic called “Don’t Close Your Eyes” by Promsie on Ao3 i definitely recommend it Reign had similar..trouble ;)

- “She was a weapon. They tried to turn her into— but what about us? Underneath the powers, what about us?” IM TAKING YOU TO COURT FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE U BASTARD /lovingly. that truth inducer scene where kara confessed her love is a joint filing

- “She never forgets Mikhail’s face. She still sees it in her nightmares. But the memories of his screams, of the burnt-out remains of his home, are joined now by memories of children smiling and laughing,”🥲 *whispers* stop

- “It wasn’t a one-time, Truth-Inducer-induced-only deal, you know. I told you I would keep telling you,” she says at Lena’s stunned silence. “Until you can believe it.” I saw the “i love you”, looked at how much of the story i had left and just kneww the angst train was coming 😃

- i cant even pick a quote to encompass all i felt about kara addressing her abandonment issues eleanor shellstrop im a legit snack meme totally cant relate to kara though

- “I want to. I want a record of you.” + “She fishes out the Polaroid camera Alex had given her last Christmas, invests in a few packs of film, and starts snapping.”= jail time, stop making me yearn dang nabb it

- “She follows Lena – at a frustratingly human pace – corners her at the end of the corridor and scoops her up....” before even getting here i was BegGing kar-bear to go after her cause all the straights™️ be like “i DidnT knOw tHat yoU wAnTed Me toO” looking at nick parker from parent trap DisRespectfully

- “Lena meets the children. They tug on the trailing belt of her winter coat, reach out stubby fingers to touch her silky hair. They’re enamoured by her, all of them, following her around as they stare wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Kara knows the feeling.” We’ve all been their for our favorite capitalist overlord gatekeeping girlboss 😌🤚

- “She’s very special, your girl,” he says, his strong accent rolling the words into something thick and warm and welcoming.” + “It’s not like I can’t afford it,” Lena mutters, embarrassed, ducking her head so her hair obscures her face as she confirms her account setup.” YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO COME INTO MY HOUSE WITH THIS!!! THE SOFT¡ THE tenDerNESSS!!! if you ever write a part two, can they adopt from this orphanage plz

- “We could take it back there,” just propose already jesus 🙄

- LITTLE DID I FREAKING KNOW HUHHHHH

- “She moves as you move.” is a love language and no i will not take criticism

- “She pulls back after a moment to reach for a small box on her desk, which she presents to Kara with a tear-filled smile. “Hold on, and don’t let go.” even with the imPlicaTions i had not the imagination nor the hOpe to fully fathom how beautifully you would write it

- “Because the one thing they all have in common is that they all want you.” HOW DOES FEEL TO BE SO BIG BRAINED. all i could think about is ur young kara fic and the black mercy fic and now red daughter. just really makes me think of that post somewhere thats like “ i love fanfiction because i get to watch the same idiots fall in lover over and over again. in every universe, in every situation, they come together. against time, space, and any other obstacle- they beat the odds” anyway just wanted to say thank you for giving me that faye, i love your work

im. deceased

#anon cmere i wanna give u a kiss on the mouth #oh my GOD this is one of the most incredible messages ive ever received in my LIFE #as if quote-back commenters arent my number 1 kink anyway you really had to go and do it with commentary on the WHOLE DAMN FIC #i honestly. barely know what to say #this got me tearing up legitimately #also YEAH i didnt even think about the 'lena is her people. her person' parallel with 6x01 but DAMN #not to toot my own horn but i called that one #CWSG TAKE MORE INSPIRATION FOR CANON FROM SUPERCORP FANFICTION CHALLENGE #do u think i could get this entire comment tattooed on my body. would that be taking things too far #im actually in love holy shit and all your references dude the parent trap and eleanor shellstrop you and i are sharing a mind #anon i love you not kidding #you have made my entire WEEK #anon i hope you and you specifically are having the best day of your life today #GOD im just #🥺🥰❤#asks #anonymous #god tier

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ofcowardiceandkings · 3 years ago

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I think you mentioned listening to podcasts? Do you have any favorites to reccommend? I've run out of content :(

that i do !

im not entirely sure what kind of podcast you'd be interested in but i'll throw out a few of the goodies in my huge library of stuff , i'll miss out a few of the HUGE podcasts that have been all over tumblr though

a LOT of it is true crime or human interest stuff , or history because im nerd ,, and a few of these dont have nearly enough attention so [shrug] i'll try to keep this short i guess lol this isnt EVERYTHING ive got in my library or listened series' by any measure

i AM gonna pop a shout to both Stuff You Missed in History Class and Stuff You Should Know from iHeartRadio because their HUGE archives have kept me from losing my mind many times over , and they cover a wide range of both important and wacky topics

BomBARDed (ongoing) this is the only fiction podcast i have happening right now really but its DAMN GOOD ONE .... it's an actual-play D&D 5E podcast in the DMs own musically-inspired world, focussed on a group of multiclass bards going to music school !! and all players (+DM) are members of the Texas band Lindby !! and they actually use and play music in the show with one original song an episode !! Kyle's worldbuilding and storycraft are truly incredible, and (Nick) Goodrich, (also Nick) Spurrier, and Ali's characters are in depth and interesting as well as an absolute powerhouse :') i actually made a piece for its first fanzine, Bardic Dreaming, which published earlier this year and is free to view now, all the players and the community are super wholesome its just very good overall 💙

History & Humans;

Fall of Civilisations (ongoing) legit one of my favourite podcast finds, im so glad my youtube autoplayed one of these ... it took me like 2 hours to realise it was 1) not the same as what was playing before and 2) had been on for 2 hours and wasnt near finished lmao. anyway, this is a series by historical fiction writer Paul Cooper, and is honest to all thats good one of the best documentary series ive encountered in years - and ive consumed a LOT of documentaries. it covered the downfall of various civilisations through history, and the episodes run from an hour to FOUR hours depending on the topic. its so chill to listen to and just get done, but over the pandemic all of the episodes have been given full movie-quality video versions too on youtube if youre more of a visual person.

Casting Lots: A Survival Cannibalism Podcast (on series break) yeah that says that lol ... its a SUPER niche topic but its very interesting and treated very well despite being kind of comical at times, the hosts are just naturally funny lol ... it delves around from the history of cannibalism in whole regions to specific incidents as recently as the 1970s, and of course the first episode is about the Donner Party, and it covers things ive never heard of despite being kind of important ?? anyway Alix and Carmella are good eggs

Sawbones (ongoing) i probably dont need to mention much here other than say that Justin and Sydnee saved me from being SO BORED sooo often, the history of medicine is wacky as hell and its what most of my history GCSE was on so [shrugs]

Cautionary Tales (on series break) this was a wild-card find lol ... it's by Tim Harford "the undercover economist" who writes for the Financial Times, and its topics kind of weave modern topics and science with how to learn from historical errors ... its a bit weird but well worth a go, also each series has a few celebrity guest voice actors which is pretty awesome

Ephemeral (ongoing) this is a very strange but thought provoking series about sounds and other things just barely saved. topics include the last castrato, the hello girls, hand-stamped records, the spread of kīkā kila music, and acoustic fossils of wild places.

Neat! The Boozecast (ongoing) history and bartending whats not to like lol ... hosted by Teylor Smirl and now their dad Tommy, they're just digging around in how important booze is to human culture

True Crime (white collar and weirdness);

Swindled (ongoing) this is an amazing show full stop. A Concerned Citizen details some of the most impactful and unruly things to happen in white collar and corporate crime. very factually accurate but given the sheer bullshit of the topics the deadpan snarking is [chefs kiss] absolutely warranted ..

American Scandal (on series break) this one is a series within a series type, and spends a few episodes at a time poking holes in some of America's biggest scandals, from a dramatised but fact-based point of view. such as what the hell was going on with Enron, how big tobacco was forced to own up to covering its own ass, how Iran-Contra happened, etc. it also now has a sister show called British Scandal, which does the same thing for British cases but with a slightly different format.

Missing in Alaska (finished) this was a fascinating series, a deep dive into what happened to two US government officials who disappeared on a small chartered flight in Alaska in 1972. it goes some really strange places, but it actually turned up a lot of previously unknown information through the audience. John Walczak's new series in a new feed is Missing on 9/11 which looks into what happened to Dr Sneha Philip.

Pretend (ongoing) Host Javier Leiva holds interviews with anyone living a lie, or who have been touched by them. con artists, snake oil salesmen, former cult members, catfishing victims, anyone and everyone.

Power: The Maxwells (finished) hosted by journalist Tara Palmeri, the story of media tycoon Robert Maxwell from nothing to empire to mysterious death and the scandals uncovered after he was gone.

Lets Talk About Sects (ongoing) Sarah Steele covering cults from around the world, in particular those in Australia - where she is from. She often has former members on the show to share their stories, and share knowledge of how they left. each story has the relevant content warnings at the start of each episode.

Brainwashed (finished) investigation of the CIA's covert mind control experiments, centred on the experiments performed at a hospital in Montreal, and its cultural impact.

Dr Death (2 series finished) two series investigating huge cases of fraud and medical malpractice, and how they were brought to a stop. series 1 covers Dr Duntsch and his horribly butchered neurosurgery, series 2 covers Dr Fata and his fraudulent cancer clinic

The Immaculate Deception (finished) untangling the weird and disturbing fertility fraud of Dr Jan Karbaat, who fathered children himself through his fertility clinic, and the impact of his deception. later episodes also touch on other similar cases.

True Crime (Violent/General);

The Casual Criminalist (ongoing) Simon Whistler of-the-many-youtube-channels cold reads a script about the case of the day, with some of his daft commentary thrown in.

Southern Fried True Crime (ongoing) Crimes from the American South hosted by Erica Kelley, she puts all the facts out there but refreshingly for true crime she doesnt hesitate to tell you if she thinks someone is human garbage lol

They Walk Among Us (ongoing) probably one of the most popular UK crime podcasts, very measured and well put together, not weird or annoying about it either.

All Crime No Cattle (ongoing, feed slowed down for now) specifically about crimes from Texas, hosted by Erin and Shay, they're very sensitive hosts and a lot of the cases they cover shed light on why the Texas criminal system is how it is or show an impact at a national level

Canadian True Crime (ongoing) Canadian crime from an Aussie who's lived there for a decade, Kristi is again a sensitive and measured host covering some important topics

True Crime (Violent/Deep Dive);

Hitman (finished) journalist Jasmyn Morris digs around in the sticky tangle around a book published by fringe publisher Paladin Press, and its apparent use as a blueprint in the killing of a mother, her friend and her 8 year old boy for financial gain.

Camp Hell: Anneewakee (ongoing) this series is exploring how a wilderness camp "correctional facility" was endorsed by the Georgia care and juvenile reform system, despite widespread abuses and shady practices the whole time. warning for csa and child cruelty throughout.

True Crime Bullshit (on series break) this one is a huge huge rabbithole but a very interesting one where the host Josh Hallmark has spent years digging into the life and potential crimes of Israel Keyes. Keyes is often mentioned as a serial killer with no pattern, but in picking it apart thats not quite true, and has sparked some re-evaluations of missing persons cases and stumbling upon information the FBI has redacted organically. there's also a series in the middle looking into the crimes of Kelly Cochran

Forgotten: Women of Juárez (finished) this series looks into the huge numbers of missing women of Ciudad Juárez, the strange circumstances surrounding them, and the potential cover-ups and corruptions on both sides of the border, trying to give a voice to all of the forgotten women and girls and their families without answers. the series itself is finished, but a spanish language edition is being released every week now.

aaaaaand i'll call it there before i list everything lol, i hope you find something to plug your boredom hole with !!

#audio #rory's ramblings #podcasts #asks #anon #long post

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