#I legit have to go to work tomorrow
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It's a lot faster in person, huh?
#eliot spencer#leverage#leverage redemption#the too many rembrandts job#leverage gifs#my gifs#my posts#today has been a big day and i'm tired and should go to bed but i wanna stay up and make things like gifs etc etc#but i also have to work early tomorrow so i legit can't stay up much longer ugh#so have this gif of eliot that i made a while back that i fully plan on using as a reaction gif allllll the time
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#o;; beyond the gods (ooc)#ope one more politics post but tags only so its easier to go by#politics tw#current events tw#trump tw#im legit terrified and crying rn ans just gonna give up and go to bed#i honestly dont know what to do if trump wins#bernie moreno is gonna win here#as well as three republican supreme court nudges#we just fucking got abortion rights in our constitution last fucking year and theyve tried to prevent it this whole time#now theyre gonna full on fucking reverse it#and if trump wins on top of that were just all fucked#but i have to go to work tomorrow and interact wiht the oublic like nothing is wrong#and i cant do that if trump wins#i legitimately dint think i can survive another trump presidency guys#im scared
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Guess who just got between a mama bear and her cubs LOL
#I’m a cool customer I played it off legit. by trespassing. but I do feel it was warranted#honestly you guys have no reason to believe me. but my lifestyle is insane#and I live in black bear country.#NOT grizzly I should add. i would not be posting this#these bears are well habituated. we saw the first one but could barely make it out in the moonlight and then kept walking#then we were like fuck. that’s three more bears and we’re straight up just in between them#we cut through a sheep grazing field and some barns though#i mean what was I gonna do. just not go to my car. i got work tomorrow. it’s pollen season
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Had an amazing week of perfect sleep and right when I started to believe I was back to normal and everything was getting better the insomnia came back in full force, yay !
#im rly rly trying to be positive here but i have nothing good to say bc im legit devastated lol#havent slept in 3 days now :((#sleeping pills dont work for me but tomorrow im going to the pharmacy anyway as a last resort#wait they have like weed shops here. does that help with sleep? i dont smoke but at this point id try anything bc i wanna kms lmaooo#diary entries
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So so so fucking angry tonight
#mars says stuff#EVERYTHING IN MY PERSONAL LIFE IS LEGIT FINE I PROMMY#IM JUST SO SICK OF THE ZIONIST MISINFORMATION AND MILQUETOAST APATHETIC DEMOCRAT BULLSHIT THAT#I FEEL COMPLICIT IN BC I WORK FOR A RADIO STATION AND I HAVE TO PUMP OUT NEWS PROMOS#AND ITS THE ONLY JOB I HAVENT BEEN FIRED FROM#AND IM SO FUCKING SICK OF THE RAMPANT TRANSPHOBIA AND ESPECIALLY TRANSMISOGYNY#EVERYWHERE I FUCKING GO AND TO HAVE OTHER TMASC PPL BE LIKE 'LMAO THATS NOT REAL AND IF IT IS ITS NOT THAT BAD THESE CRAZY BITCHES'#WHEN I SEE IT ONLINE AND IN PERSON EVERY FUCKING DAY AND IM NOT EVEN THE ONE IT EFFECTS#AND I TRY TO ENGAGE IN MY COMMUNITY. THERES A JUNETTENTH EVENT IM GOING TO TMR TO TRY AND SCOUT OUT SOME LOCAL ORGS#I CAN VOLUNTEER FOR TO TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER IN MY COMMUNITY#but tonight i just feel shitty and small and ineffectual and hypocritical and angry and cowardly#AND EVERYONES LIKE OH DEAL WITH THAT ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY THATLL HELP#MOTHERFUCKER I USE IT AS FUEL TO MAKE ART. TO PLAY MUSIC. TO TRY NOT TO FLUNK OUT OF A SCHOOL THAT I HATE BC OF THE INSTITUTIONS IT UPHOLDS#and i never have enough after my bills are paid to donate to all the gofundmes both here and in palestine i want to help out#im just so fucking mad. but im also 5'3“ and awkward and chubby and I cant fight and all of my friends tease me for it and it comes from a#place of love and im not mad at them. i just wish i could kick someones ass tonight. some fucking bigot i could put all my rage behind#and just keep hitting and hitting until the fucker stopped moving. but i cant do that. both not physically and also bc i Might Lose Everythi#ng#ill delete this tomorrow#time to watch some shitty youtube videos and eat something and get high enough that i dont feel so fucking mad#just consume my way out of it lmao
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TMI emo rant - I'm just moping lmao ( don't read if others being emo makes you mopey too, I don't wanna mope-fy this space :'< take care xx )
When the lady in the workout video says ‘the fact that you showed up for this exercise today is already something that deserves a pat on the back’ after you have felt like a hot garbage of a human being the whole day, week, month, just…
damn lady. coming for my praise and attention starved butt like that 😒
#legit made me feel some sort of way lol I wasn't prepared#not even sure why it stood out like that#like it felt like praise obvs but also made me a bit more sad and disappointed with life lmao#just doin my silly little workout bc I have nothing else to do or going on#don't get me wrong#working out is amazing#it is an achievement to do some sort of movement and it can feel so challenging at times to get it done#but when I don't have anything else going on it just felt like...#well yeah... sad and disappointed in life ig#like oh yeah#THIS is the biggest thing I've achieved recently#sometimes that is a huge achievement for real#but for me atm this all just feels so insignificant :(#and by 'this' I probably just mean me#so basically I'm just being all emo today for some reason#and I shall keep doing my next workout after ranting here unsolicited#and hopefully tomorrow will feel better#xx
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Finally submitted my last paper (which sucks shit but whatever) and I finally have some time to focus on creative writing :')
#i don't have that much time today because I need to go to work tonight and i have plans tomorrow#but wednesday i'm finally gonna have my whole day of writing#i'm legit so happy lmao#it's gonna feel so good to have an entire day to focus on this damn text like it was really starting to drive me insane
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Lmao beautiful
#now I’m sick. after that last week of hell. and today . totally brutal oh my god#my tonsils are swollen my head is fucking killing me and I either have a fever or I’ve just been working out in the rain and 45 degree#weather all day today and tomorrow too#I hate not having health insurance. I wish I could afford to call out tomorrow I feel so bad.#I’m already beyond broke I got like 6$ to last me a week#I just hate my life so much it’s crazy. like legit#how many times did I almost burst out in tears today too many to count and the worst part is that I can’t go to the bathroom and just take#5 or 10 mins god forbid#oh well maybe this is it
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bro it sucks so much to have to go to work when you're sick
#i dont wanna go but literally if i miss another day they could fire me 😬#i don't have covid at least according to the home tests but like. i still have a cold or something#and i can't call out because our time is so restricted#and its not even the worst attendance policy i know of but it still sucks to have to work around#esp coming from my last job where i could take off literally as much time as i needed to basically whenever i needed/wanted to#added on top of the fact that i just don't want to fuckin be there anyway#and that im scared im gonna pick up covid bc my immune system is currently weakened#ugh. i have to get through tomorrow and the next day#and then im off again#and then im on one more day before im back off again#so i will have a rest day again pretty soon at least#after being off the last three days#(the first was my legit day off but it was very busy and few days before that were the roughest of a tough couple of weeks -#the second i took off bc i had to babysit and. being completely honest. i watched all of fellow travelers thr night before. and esp after#how bad a time id been personally having lately. all the suffering and the loneliness and the romance just hit me so hard#tbh i just felt like i deserved a break and i could do some work at home to balance things out -#third day i woke up feeling sick and coughing pretty hard and just feeling generally miserable. which continued for most of the day.#but with less coughing until now bc im laying down)#i just wish i could take an extra day or two to actually kick this 😭#sorry this is so long i can get locquacious when im tired
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I made a ko-fi :)
#all funds are going directly to funding the game!#i'm sorry i promoted patreon earlier and then now i'm putting up a kofi 🤣 i uh. have been procrastinating all day#don't want to work on schoolwork and this feels productive still#anyway. i assume if people wanted to just toss me money they would have already subbed to patreon???#but also diversity i think is good?????? idk anything about this stuff lol i just know people must have both for a reason#i will work on test run a ton tomorrow i stg!!! school has just been kicking me ass#and will continue to kick my ass. like legit i gave up my shift at work so i could work on my homework and i might give up the next one too#kill me 😭 but it's almost over! and then i can work on the game anytime and i can start instituting some schedules for the next few months
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I am making it through this week one way or another 😤 but the edits may take longer than expected
#the friend who had an emergency on sunday prolly wont be out in time for my birthday#thats ok#like legit id rather her be okay than anything else#but not having sunday off shot my week to hell cus i didnt make the sauce#and i didnt finish cleaning#and i didnt make edits#and tomorrow I have therapy and then costco and then we’re gonna go visit the friend#and THEN i work thurs and friday#and then Saturday obvs am busy (prolly? other friend still hasnt planned yet)#and thennn sunday i might??? have time?#if the meeting is actually only two hours ling but i doubt it#and Wednesday next week I’m probably gonna be recovering from the last week cus JESUS#;-;
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skaluli speedruns a speedcore artists art fight attack
this is where id put the link to my artfight but its over so lmao idk have it anyway : https://artfight.net/~skaluli
#artluli#art fight 2023#not my oc#skaluli be like i cant do another artfight attack because im not at home and theres no time#skaluli be like tonight im going to give myself carpal tunnel because im at home for tonight i must i must#i wouldnt of done this but i found out one of my favourite music artists was on artfight and i had too#it was gonna be a full body but i didnt have enough time so i just cut it in half#wish i could do more but well rip me#legit as soon as i got home i started on it and only had a few hours to finish it because it was late and i was working for my mum tomorrow#which was today and now i have a full on green thumb from how many flowers i had to strip and cut#nana is still in hospital
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I am so stressed
#I was sick for a week and suddenly I'm so very behind now#it's crazy how when you're sick and you miss days you get behind! it's fucked even!#but I'm super stressing out about my portfolio too because it went from 17 pieces max to 10#and I'm like :)))#so I'm scrambling#i don't like my portfolio i don't think it's that great#if i had time i would recreate a piece but then we're back to I'm behind already so i don't need to be adding another project#I just want to have my major declared and be entered into the program#but that stresses me out too because you have to retake advanced studios because there's only so many so you can't like#speed run getting your credits so I'm going to be graduating later#but that's a problem for later my problem right now is that my well rounded portfolio showing my strengths shrunk#i gotta focus on my illustrations now#thank god i found a portrait that i did that's pretty (imo) and plays around#solved my problem of having to create another project out of my ass#absolutely just#aster rambles#ALSO!! I HAVE AN OIL PAINTING I NEED TO FINISH TOMORROW#YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I GOT FOR THAT?? NOT MUCH I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE STUDIO HOURS BECAUSE THEY DON'T POST THEM#I'm legit going to sneak in take my canvas and go home#I went into a studio today to work on one of my projects that really should be done and there was a class in place 😭#mortifying I'm never going into the studio during regular hours again#catch me in there like a gremlin at 3am
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irl-related vitriol in tags, beware
#i have literally put up with so much cg bullshit in the last few months#god forbid i a vet and senior member get any respect#the captains are awful just awful really terrible#SO CONDESCENDING#legit unless i specifically am doing something deeply wrong then keep out of my fucking business#equipment manager making everyone sit down to learn how to tape a fucking flag#HELLO? BITCH YOUR FLAG IS CLANKY AND THE EXAMPLE YOU’RE USING HAS A GAP BETWEEN SILK AND POLE#fucking hell i’m actually about to ally with the pariah of the team and her new frosh friend#my reputation will go down the shitter but i’ll never lie to a newbie again#this sport is such a joke bc why do we even pretend that this team is a family#like hey coach. it’s not like i’m a subordinate to you or the captains or anything. but yeah you’re like my aunt omg 🥺#fucking get real#cg has ruined my life and it’s degenerated especially this year#i’m not getting enough sleep and i’m swearing too much and i get antsy and literally bite myself#the newbies are such dopes i feel bad for even trying to instill rules in them bc i’m no different from the bitch captains#always snapping snapping snapping at us for not being EARLY to the call time TWENTY FIVE MINUTES EARLIER than the band’s#i don’t even have a friend anymore she’s just My Captain who i have to Obey and Respect#anyway fuck co-captain specifically#whatever. i have work tomorrow#i should just sleep and die and defame the team to everyone who lends me an ear#god i hope my coach explodes the next time she sits us down for a twenty minute spiel about ‘expectations’#bc expect me to quit or be outwardly miserable all year long <333#tw rant#tw vent
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no one understands the pain of spending three days on a problem at Work and then at a point U fuck around n do SMTH by mistake except it fixes the whole thing revealing that it was that easy all along and U KNEW IT ALSO and ud devised 1038372717 workarounds in the meantime that all had stability issues and-
#WYM I COULD HAVE ROTATED THE SOURCE MESH AND THE INSTANCES WOULD HAVE BEEN ANGLED ALONG MY PROJECTION MESH.#WHICH I DID KNOW AS ONE THE VERY FIRST THING I HAD EVER DONE WITH THIS ENGINE WAS GOING 'o wrong direction. rotate it upright'#im going to JUMP#telling my superbisor this morning 'forget abt what o was sayong on friday that was Friday talking over my reason i found an easier way-'#and now tomorrow ill be like erm so.#so we just have to rotate the mesh-#PLEASE#anyway tje mich*el y*un movie i worked on is advertising every fucken where#and in the train station they switched DURING THE DAY to the ads#so twzs the FIRST THING I SAW GETTING HOME#n their five second spot is legit 80% shots i did smth on...........help......
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Feasting like KINGS in XIV rn!!!!!
#༼ 🌟 OOC: AFK and probably eating Pizza Rolls ༽#Mei Mei plays XIV#Between the new MSQ#the new raids (finished)#and the new weapons I'm going to legit kill for?#Feasting like absolute kings and champions this patch#I even won the music out of P10!!!#But I really REALLY want P11's music.#The fight is fun af too?#I have no issue farming this.#Anyway that's where I've been all day#I'll send asks and do replies tomorrow after work!
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