#I legit had SO MUCH FUN working there if it sounds like I am griping in some places here I am actually LAUGHING hysterically at the memory!

[mintytealfox]

You used to teach people how to pan for gold?

I did LOL the very simplified version of it and it was always hot as frick outside so hiding the fool's gold in the cool water down in the sand felt nice LOOOL (until fall would hit then my hands would be FREEZING AH) If I am remembering right we also had this hella creepy display where you would look down the glass window and you would see this miner down there with a canary with him, I can't remember if it slowly moved or not XD but I kind of remember the sound of this motor sound down in the basement where we would have lunch in the room next to him LOOOL we even had a 'prospector pit' for the kiddos and I thought it was lame as hell LOOOOL, but fun for kids, they would 'dig' in these rubber bits to get 'gems' 🙃🤣🤣🤣 The geologist, at the time, would get so excited about his rock and gem collection lol (I remember having to fight off the mean Geese up there, those things were HORRIBLE) (AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE CHICKENS THAT WOULD FIGHT ME ON THE WAY TO THE RESTROOM AAHHH I would have to run for my life through the gardens and slip through the little opening in the fence to ESCAPE LOL)

I also taught mock school at the school house to show people what school life was like in the late 1800s I had to ring the bell every hour! I actually legit hated that cause it was so LOUD when right next to it ah my ears are ringing just thinking about it ah and that heavy as hell mallet 🤣🤣 but it would be a different subject for each hour in the morning and then repeat for the afternoon.

And spinning thread (I was so bad at it oh my gosh) Talking about wool and the dying process 👍

and quilting (so now I know how to hand sew but the sewing machine still makes me scratch my head LOL)

and leather working (I would just talk about the types of leather and the process of tanning, I didn't do it myself that was for the experts. And I would only fill in when they needed an extra pair of hands 👍)

Taught some of the old dances too, but I hardly remember them now though -weeps-

and cooking in the old cast iron wood burning stove (where I got heat exhaustion cause there is a reason they would just cook outside or had a 'summer kitchen' during the summer months oh my GOSH) and I burnt EVERYTHING cause my pyromaniac self would make the fire too HOT LOL There were ladies who made THE BEST food in that thing though! like TOP TEIR BEST EVER! There is something about it that is just AHH SO EXTRA GOOOOD but anyway scraping out the ash afterwards was pretty satisfying and chopping more wood for the next day was liberating after dealing with some of the ANNOYING visitors (It was this dull as hell light little hatchet so it was all brute force and magic (finding where the log will likely split easiest) to pop those suckers in half oh my GOSH) This was also where my SEETHING, LOATHING, HAAATTEEEE for churning butter came from 😤😤 (cleaning that junk with freshly boiled water was the ACTUAL WORST, but at least I was allowed to use dawn dish soap and properly re-clean everything after closing for obvious reasons PFF)

This is only SOME of the stuff I did and had to learn so I could teach and perform LOOOOOL

//at least the laundry was fake but beating the rugs was one of my least favorite things like BRUH now all that GARBAGE DUST Is all over ME NOW AAAAAAA

lol whenever I hear 'oh man living in the 1800s would be fascinating' I say 'NO IT WOULDN'T, IT SUCKS, DON'T' 🤣🤣🤣

and the GHOSTS THERE I SWEAR I WAS ABOUT TO FIGHT SOME SUPERNATURAL RAAAAAAH

[butterflyinthewell]

I’m going to tell you the story of why I love Godzilla.

When I say not to make fun of an autistic person’s special interests, I say it from a place of deep understanding and pain. For me, an autistic SpIn is like being in love, or (for the aro folks out there), it’s like being with your best friend ever and it just feels so comfortable and good.

Sooooo in January my dad mentions wanting to watch KOTM with me. Any excuse to watch KOTM is good, so of course I jumped on it. We watched Godzilla KOTM. It’s the movie I spent all of 2019 talking about from January to May. I got it for Christmas 2019 because mom knew I was going to want it as soon as the first roar hit the screen in the theater. (I took her to see it as a Mother’s Day gift, she liked it too.)

Lemme tell y’all something: when I was a young kid, my dad got me into Godzilla. Starting when I was around 5, he told me the stories of the movies he’d seen (the whole Showa era and Godzilla 1985). So I knew about Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, King Ghidorah, Minya, MechaGodzilla, Gigan, Hedorah, Megalon, etc long before I ever saw them.

My dad said “these are important characters.”

Then he started renting the movies when he felt I was old enough to not be scared by them (age 7 in 1987) and pointed out who was who.

And my first ‘real meeting’ with Godzilla was the same as the people in 1954, when he popped his head over that hill and roared that haunting sound I never forgot, and I was hooked forever.

I loved it. I loved all of it. Dad warned me about the ending of the ‘54 movie, so I wasn’t surprised by it, but I still cried! He got me over it by showing the the rest of them, as if to go “see, he’s okay!” Then dad warned me that Godzilla was ‘the bad guy’ again in Godzilla 1985, but didn’t tell me how it ended. I was reaaaaally upset when he fell into that volcano. I probably cried about it for three days. That scream still hits something in my soul.

My favorite childhood Godzilla movie is Godzilla’s Revenge. It’s the first Godzilla movie I ever owned. I loved Ichiro’s dreams of making friends with Minya, outsmarting his kidnappers and standing up to his bullies. I even tried to pick up Monster Island using a little portable am/fm radio I had as a kid. It didn’t work, all I got was static, but I sure tried! 😋

I wanted to be an island lady like Saeko from Son of Godzilla who could call monsters for help. I wanted to be a cyborg like Katsura, except I would use MechaGodzilla to make friends with Godzilla instead of trying to hurt him.

Anyway...

Dad’s interest in Godzilla stuff kinda dropped away as the 90s hit and my autistic traits began to make me deviate more and more noticeably from my peers. I had seen all the Showa era movies, so he stopped telling stories because there weren’t any more to tell.

My love for Godzilla carried on into the Heisei era and beyond. Dad acted like I should “leave that crap behind” when I kept buying movies and talking about them to him. He didn’t want to watch them with me or look at pictures in the Godzilla Compendium I picked up.

I didn’t stop my enthusiasm for Godzilla, I just stopped sharing it with dad. I kept at it through high school. I sobbed over Godzilla vs Destroyah because I thought that was the end of the franchise, and I can’t even mention what happened to Godzilla in that movie. If you’ve seen it, you know.

In the year 1998 the rumblings for the ‘98 movie started around New Years, so of course I made noise about going to see it. Because GODZILLA, y’all!

Well, dad surprised me and took me to see Godzilla ‘98 when it came out. I had been bugging about going to see it and he kept giving me a hard no, then had me convinced we were going to a baseball game that night instead. I did nothing to disguise my boredom or hurt in the car, and it broke when we pulled up to the theater. Okay, he pulled a fast one on me and he said I did an emotional 180 spin, but it was worth it. (I still like that movie, but I don’t call that creature Godzilla. I call him Zilla or GINO instead.)

Literally right after that my dad would get mad if I talked about Godzilla. He griped that I was “so obsessed with that stupid monster” and that I needed to grow up. I was almost 18, and I had, just not the way HE wanted, I guess...

Godzilla 2000 came out. Dad grudgingly took mom and me to see it, and I finally got to live my dream of seeing a legit Toho Godzilla movie in theaters. I was yelling and clapping (as were other people) and just had a huge blast. In the car, he told me to knock it off when I talked excitedly about what I liked in the movie. He slapped down all talk of Godzilla.

I still continued to be a fan. When more Millennium era movies came out, I grabbed them when I saw them on the shelves. I got everything from Godzilla vs Megaguirus to Godzilla: Final Wars in a little Japanese shop my dad found near where he worked at the time. I was in my early 20s then. I also got some figurines from that store: a Heisei era Mothra, a Heisei era King Ghidorah and a Millenium era (Final Wars) Godzilla. Dad rolled his eyes when I walked out with them in my arms.

And so began his weird pattern of indulging my interest, but getting upset at me if I talked about it. I was discovering the online fandom at this point, so I had another outlet, but still, it used to be our thing, and his behavior really stung.

I only discovered there were more movies in the Millenium era becuse I happened across GMK on HBO and realized I didn’t recognize that Godzilla suit or the setting.

Then I missed the ending because of a very badly timed phone call. But I was like “omg more Godzilla movies...hey dad, can we go to that shop?” (And then I was like a dragon with treasure when I came home....)

I grabbed the two Kiryu movies first because a certain fanfic author in the fandom had written some Mechagodzilla fanfics where Kiryu (Kiryuu in her stories) was sentient and sexy af. The idea of the original Godzilla being brought back as a robot was amazing and that author basically took the idea and ran it to another level. She’s the reason I headcanon the 54 Gojira as Heisei Godzilla’s dad.

ANYWAY, I got all caught up on the Godzilla movies and blew up to a boiling fan girl froth when the 2014 movie got advertised.

I took mom to see that becuse dad’s Parkinson’s had advanced so far that he couldn’t go out much anymore. Mom likes Godzilla movies and sci-fi in general. While she’s not as into it as me, she enjoys them for the entertainment. We both liked G2014, so I got it for Christmas.

We watched it with dad as a family, he said it was okay.

Through 2016 and 2017 I was rattling on about Shin Godzilla. Got that as a late 37th birthday gift because it came out on dvd a few days after my actual birthday. I watched it for the first time with dad, and he complained the whole time and kind of ruined the experience for me, which pissed me off. HE was the one who wanted to watch it with me, now I wish I watched it alone instead.

2019 came, KOTM happened. So that brings me to sitting down to watch it with dad. I was excited see his reaction to the monsters he introduced me to in childhood realized with modern cgi effects and all. I love seeing things that remind me of happy times in my childhood, and I thought those memories were fond for him, too. So I watched, waiting for him to recognize Mothra, Rodan and King Ghidorah.

He said nothing when they came onscreen. I got engrossed in the movie and sort of forgot about it, but when it was over I bounced up and asked, “Wasn’t it cool to see the guys you told me stories about when I was 5?”

I thought back while I waited for him to answer. I thought back on the stories, the fun and the movies.

I thought back on how my love for this character has grown, and how in KOTM it was physically realized in that painful moment when Ishiro Serizawa looks up at Godzilla with such reverence and lays his hand on his snout. I feel like that was Dougherty telling all the fans he sees their love for Godzilla and gives them that one singular, intimate audience with the big guy through Serizawa. Because who wouldn’t want to give him a pat on the nose and thank him?

The director of KOTM understands what Godzilla means to the fans. He understands how they feel and what they want. In my mind he gave it in spades.

But my dad...

My dad, the man who taught me enough to get me into Godzilla forever, looked at me in the eyes and said, “I don’t remember any of it. They’re not that important anyway.”

“These are important characters.” Much younger dad said to much younger me.

“They’re not that important anyway.” Older modern day dad said to older modern day me.

I thought my heart had stopped and my soul fled through the floor. This franchise, these characters he brought to me with such enthusiasm, something that grew into a lifelong love, meant nothing to him. It was as if he gave me a diamond and later told me it was worthless glass to him. Godzilla was and still is a huge part of my life and who I am, and dad acted like this “us” thing I thought we bonded over during my childhood didn’t matter to him.

It’s almost like he expected me to take passing interest and then move on, but because I’m autistic and because I relate to Godzilla so much, my interest turned into love and respect for the character, what he represents and the messages he has sent throughout the years.

Part of who I am is shaped, literally, by Godzilla, something that started because my dad told me he existed. And in a sentence my dad took that root from my childhood and ripped it out because he decided it was a worthless weed.

It’s not my love for Godzilla that was ripped out. It’s the love I thought my dad felt for me when he was telling me all those stories and showing me the movies. I’m sharing this because I love Godzilla, because I love what he represents and means to me, and I thought my dad shared it with me for the same reason. This is a very autistic thing...I’m sure autistic readers can feel my love for Godzilla just by reading this.

I thought my dad did, too, once.

But no. There was no love at all like I thought there was, so I was not pouring my love into an ocean that still existed, I was throwing it into a black hole.

Dad didn’t care to remember Rodan, or Mothra, or King Ghidorah. He didn’t care to remember what all that meant to me during my childhood because he doesn’t and never has cared about my feelings.

He doesn’t care about my feelings.

He wants me to shut up about Godzilla.

I will not.

I love Godzilla. I don’t need dad’s approval anymore. I will turn 40 this year (2020) and there is no stopping what began 35 years ago. The plant that grew around the root dad planted is shaped like me now, and like Biollante I will keep blooming because Godzilla was my first love fandom-wise and that admiration and love for him stands on its own.

Dad no longer has a say.

But, my God, my dad has this remarkable ability to tell me something is important when I’m young and then claim it isn’t so many years later. He’s done it for a lot of things, but hearing him say Godzilla isn’t important after instilling his importance into me at a young age just...gutted me...and it gutted me as much as the time he asked me what I did to make kids bully me when I was being bullied as a teen.

I got bullied because I’m autistic. I existed. He said it was my fault for being that way. I was a newly diagnosed teenager when he said that. It was 1995, ironically, the same year Godzilla vs Destroyah came out.

And I was an adult when he ripped at that root of Godzilla he planted in me.

Godzilla was the last part of my childhood that he hadn’t sunk his abuse into, but he finally did in January of 2020. Now there is no part of my life untouched by his emotionally abusive crap.

It shouldn’t hurt like this. I feel ridiculous to be hurt so deeply, but I can’t keep pretending that I’m not hurt by it anymore.

I will get over it. My absolute love and respect for Godzilla is something my dad can never destroy no matter how much he tries to shit talk about it. I’ve let him ruin so many things, but not Godzilla.

Godzilla will never be a trigger for me. He is an anti trigger. On this day of April 19, 2020, I’m realizing he is the protector my dad failed to be.

To all parents of autistic kids, be careful that you don’t belittle the things you said were important when they were young. Don’t introduce something that becomes a special interest, say it’s important and then belittle it when they grow up.

Even if you don’t think it’s important anymore now, even if you think it’s silly now, even if you didn’t know they were autistic at the time and would dive in like that, it may still be important to them.

It may become their safe place. It may become treasure.

Don’t try to destroy that safety. Don’t treat it like trash.

[thefudge]

scattered thoughts on sanditon so far 

this is a fun romp from andrew davies and there’s a lot to like and be invested in

but i do have some observations/ gripes

obviously davies is going for a modern/sexed up adaptation of austen and i have mixed thoughts on that, cuz there’s a lot of interesting stuff you can do with that, but you can also botch it up big time (i’m glad he didn’t do this to p&p back in 1995...i wonder what that adaptation would’ve looked like today. probably full monty darcy, lol). so i think some elements verge on the ridiculous, for instance having almost every dude in this show strip naked in front of a crowded beach several times in a row. ditto for theo james. i don’t mind the view (hehe) but i think it’s inserted awkwardly at times. like okay, we get it, it’s a beach resort and we’re trying to make austen edgy in 2019.... just maybe indulge a little less and literally keep it in your pants. 

this being a more modern adaptation i don’t mind hair and make-up anachronisms, but i DO mind the fact that rose williams sports this really weird shade of fuchsia lipstick in almost every single scene. stop iiiit

speaking of which, rose williams is a cutie and i loved her on reign, but i don’t understand what she’s doing with her face in this series. don’t get me wrong, she does a good job of making charlotte very likable, but the only way she can express...anything, really, is by making these confused faces, like a child practicing frowning in the mirror. it’s...really awkward. and she does this all the time, whether she’s happy or sulky or nervous, she just always looks like she’s trying to figure out the fibonacci sequence.  i mean it’s hilarious when u have theo james going all gruff to her about his feelings and rose williams is that gif of the blond lady doing math in her head. her acting is pretty good otherwise, but those faceeeees.

esther denham is my goddamn FAVE, gosh i love a Disappointed Queen and i’m glad she’s getting away from that boring skeevy brother. for once the incestuous siblings didn’t do it for me at all (which is pretty much the point lol). there’s nary a dude more uninteresting than edward whatshisface, my gaaaawd (also, davies trying to ramp up the sexiness with those scenes of edward brushing her hair or doing her stays...lol, sir, this rly isn’t your strength i’m sorry)

but i have to say that i thought esther and clara would be a thing. because my gosh, the chemistry during their scenes! the way they’d glide past each other with utmost contempt, while being disquieted by each other @___@. i mean it’s an austen adaptation, so i guess they’d never go there but!!! i need fic (would’ve made clara more bearable at least. i appreciate her character objectively cuz she’s an interesting pseudo-antagonist and you don’t get many of those, but blerghh. she was insufferable)

i was kinda (actually very) disappointed that the relationship between sidney and his ward, georgiana, wasn’t really developed. like there’s one more episode to go (as far as i know?) and they’ve barely scratched the surface with them. i mean he’s halfway decent to her now.... but ehh. i feel like this was a missed opportunity. after all, this was austen’s unfinished novel, so andrew davies & co could have added more material between these two. this, to me, should have been the real heart of the series. 

i like otis as a character, but georgiana/otis was zzzzzz. i suppose that they’ll end up together? zzzzzzzzzz (i frankly ship her way more with arthur! she finds him infuriating! he’s a sweetheart! the shenanigans!)

that German doctor is the real MVP, i feel like he should be sanditon’s no. 1 bachelor. i mean the shower rod??? providing pleasure to all the ladies in town, what a hero 

the soundtrack is rly rad! and the cinematography

i love how the show captures austen’s growing interest in the industrialized modern world which was emerging in the twilight years of the regency and i feel like maybe the show should’ve invested more time in that modern aesthetic (steampunk!) rather the awkward sexual shenanigans 

so....i can’t delay the inevitable anymore, can i? sigghh okay here i go

sidney/charlotte...annoys me. 

HEAR ME OUT.

 u know that i love LOVE “enemies to lovers” and hate/love stories, i LIVE FOR THIS SHIT. 

and i was ready to gorge on this dynamic because it looked delish 

 but i felt like michael bluth finding the dead pigeon in the paper bag. 

from what i can gather, sidney is supposed to be a mixture of darcy and capt wentworth, “haughty” and proud, with a history of romantic disappointment, a brooding sexy hero with a heart of gold. but to me this dude just comes off as weird. 

there’s legit no reason for him to be THIS mean to this young girl he just met. he is not just an asshole, he is ridiculously over the top about it, to the point where he makes a fool of himself. i am FINE with a man telling a woman off, believe me, but it has to have some kind of motivation, some kind of reasoning behind it. here, it just feels like the plot needs him to be utterly shitty to charlotte so that “sparks will fly”. that first ep convo on the balcony??? wtf???? it was genuinely bizarre. i got weird incel vibes. and every time he lashes out at charlotte (at least in the first 4 episodes) it’s fucking silly, because it’s not like he lashes out because she’s scratching the surface of his innermost painful memories. no!!! many of their arguments revolve around basic things that he could easily clarify!!! which he does eventually, so like whyyyyyyyyyy. charlotte keeps telling him he’s being vague for no good reason and he still does it. it doesn’t make sense he’d be this guarded and outspoken at the same time. like, fine, keep that shit to yourself, don’t tell ppl, but don’t also get pissed at them when they don’t guess your mind. again, i love an antagonist dynamic when it’s done right, but here many times it’s just pointless bullying, it’s not sexy or fun or challenging. the writers keep making charlotte apologize to him about how “wrong” she got him and how he makes her doubt her judgement but it sounds fake to me. like a) this dude went out of his way to be a total assface to you from day one, b) none of that bullying was him trying to coax you into having a more complicated view of the world. when darcy rebukes elizabeth, he is hinting at her limited point of view. he’s not blatantly negging her or calling her stupid as this dude does. AND U KNO WHAT.

i’d be absolutely fine with him calling her stupid IF IT MADE SENSE WITHIN THE STORY 

like if charlotte had truly done smth stupid during the first episode, sure, fine, it’s somewhat warranted 

but for him to decide she’s an idiot for no other reason than her making some honestly super nice remarks about his brothers when he asked for her opinion is THE HEIGHT OF NONSENSE 

it’s even more nonsense when 2 episodes later he decides maybe she’s not that dumb after all FUCK U MR. EDGELORD

and it makes me pity charlotte cuz she’ll probably marry this dude and have to deal with him in his old age when he’ll be even more insufferable. 

and i totally get the appeal. i do! i mean their scenes are manufactured to make you want more of them, i see the chemistry, it’s there (and we’re already at a point in the series where he’s trying to make amends) but at the same time i’m put off by this dude’s intensity, cuz it’s not the hot kind of intensity...it’s more like he’s a giant dumb baby who breaks things. meh. theo james is very pretty tho, and he is doing the most with his character (that voice def helps!). but i wish this antagonistic relationship had been written better, because it could’ve been glorious

this is why i think sidney/georgiana should’ve been so much more present. just like darcy has his georgiana we need the humanizing element, we need to see more variety from this dude than just “guy who clearly needs anger management classes”. 

i’m pretty sure i’m in the minority or possibly one of two ppl not won over by this romance, and i can’t lie and say i don’t root for them. too much of this show is predicated on their clashes for them not to work it out and get together, but boyyyy do i wish they’d done it a bit better

i almost feel like a reylo anti lol, but at least kylo ren doesn’t neg rey every single time they talk 

also, i go back to rose williams’ faces because they just rly enhance how clumsy this dynamic is. theo james is doing byronic asshole 2.0 and charlotte looks at him like he’s developed a smell lmao. i mean the scene where she catches him naked? she turns around and FROWNS in this rly bizarre way, almost like she noticed a growth on his dick lmao it’s that bad 

anyway i totally get the appeal, but i also know what i want from this kind of dynamic and...this ain’t quite it 

honestly i think i prefer charlotte/cute architect guy whose name i don’t remember right now! 

that being said, my fave moments of this show are the most austen-esque, where ppl don’t take themselves so seriously. i mean the adventures of the perennially-ailing parker siblings (arthur & diana)? deeeelightful. the pineapple scene? glorious

also it makes me sad that sanditon was left unfinished because to see austen tackling georgiana’s character in depth would have been so, so interesting 

in conclusion, the show’s a lot of fun but also frustrating in many ways

i hope davies doesn’t set his eyes on re-adapting p&p or other austen classics because ermmm i know i’m trash but i am kind of tired of these sexed-up “look how scandalous we are behind closed doors” adaptations. you can make the regency era feel modern and relatable without “shocking hand job in the estate park” pls and thank u. sure, the regency era was the inheritor of the sexually relaxed 18th-century, but it wasn’t that relaxed yall. ppl still kept their wits and bonnets about them.

still, i’m glad this show exists and that it tries to take risks, i just wish it took different kinds of risks, if that makes sense. like i am SO bummed i didn’t get into sidney/charlotte, u have no idea 

[johnny-boy-17]

STAR VS THE FORCES OF EVIL or The Art Student’s Awakening (A Review)

Oh hey, it’s another review by me that nobody asked for! Ok, this one is actually gonna mean a lot to me since this show is pretty much the reason I even started posting things on this site to begin with (thank you and curse you Tumblr), so I need to get it all off my chest. 

Short version: It’s really fuckin’ good, and y’all should check it out. The ending could have used a little more finesse, but it’s still pretty damn good.

Long version: *gasps for air*

Ok let’s start with the story. Yeah, it’s certainly a rollar-coaster. What starts out as a fun little-romp-of-the-week type of story...

...becomes this tale of power corruption, racism battle, and a tale of trust in one another and unity among the people.

Whether or not it handles that well seems to be half and half. On one hand, grace under fire this show is not. It does seem a little rushed in the last season, and you can really tell it wanted to be a bit longer, flesh out ideas, but didn’t have time for it (I blame the Mouse on that). 

I mean I dunno about you, but a show that introduces time travel right the fuck out of nowhere in a medium never seems to end well, this show is no exception.

That and they reeeeeaaaaaally try to knock you unconscious using a hammer with all the prejudice allegories.

On the other hand, good characters can make a shit story seem like high-class art. And good characters this show has in spades (no eclipsa-related pun intended).

Firstly, Star Butterfly herself. It seems stupid not to start with her. And... yeah she’s a really fun protagonist. Not only is she basically Sailor Moon hyped up on too much nose candy, but she has an incredible story of growth to go with. She starts as a fun-loving monster battler that’s too eager to run away from her problems to this teenager facing the looming shadow of adulthood head on and ready to ditch her past of monster-ism(?) for good, never to let such discrimination see the light of day again. Not to mention Eden Sher just absolutely brings this character to life, even if it’s just little things she says like “yeah totally totally totally” or “we got burger juice on the wall rug.” Something in her performance just absolutely friggin’ works wonders. I’d say she’s probably one of my favorite protagonists out there that “the big D” has come up with, but my favorte character they’ve created in a looooong time? That award... 

... goes to mother-fuckin’ Marco Ubaldo Diaz. I cannot BELIEVE how much they won me over with this guy. I think it’s because I saw so much of myself in this guy to the point where I am convinced he’s my long-lost brother. This B0I starts out as this paranoid play-it-safe ‘nother brick in the wall type who just wants to get through his teenage life without any kind of trouble, and by the end is a guy who’s ready to shrug off getting impaled by an evil unicorn being ridden by a corrupted version of Star’s half-demon ex just to get him to snap out of it (it just now dawns on me how fuckin’ batshit this show is). I just love how as he’s easing up on his paranoia, he learns to stop taking himself so seriously and let loose every now and then. Adam McAruther deserves praise for playing this guy, and I don’t know who could ever play this guy like he did. If no other takeaways for this show were to be, it’d be that Marco is in a lineup of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

Now I sense some ears (ok fine all ears) are waiting for me to talk about the two together, so I’ll touch on it once, and make an entire post on it later: It’s great. It’s pleasing to the eye, it’s wholesome for the soul, it makes them both into better beings, the opposite attracts thing is done beautifully, the chemistry could make Bill Nye proud, and I think their ending was as good as it could be for them... though I do hate how long it took to get there. 

OK LIGHTNING ROUND GO (can’t get ‘em al, so sorry):

-Tom: I like the guy, definitely a more relatable and visible character arc and his design is neat.

-Jackie: I wish my lesbian venice beach girl got more appreciation, but I luv her none the less.

-Janna: I luv my strange bisexual filipino witch-wannabee (you know what I said is true don’t deny it)

-Moon: Never really gave her full trust, but was not disappointed by her in any way, despite various actions in the end.

-River: I liked him in the beginning season, sorta trailed off by the end.

-Kelly: Not sure why she was there, but she was cool.

-Eclipsa: We stan that queen! Loved the fact that her motives were so grey, and you every could tell if she was going to turn out to be truly bad or not.

-Globgor: We stan that king! I adored how he actually was a threat back in his day, but now regrets everything he ever did then (plus him size shifting in fights is creative as hell), wish we could have had more of him, but it’s cool that we got any at all really.

-Glossaryck: I loved him, true chaotic neutral god. He was such a troll, and he has my respect (and to think all he wanted to do was die).

 -Ponyhead: I hope that sack of shit gets donated to a glue factory.

But what is a good story without good villains? Well, this show wants to have a ton of good ones, but nothing really sticks to the wall too well, though they do leave an impact.

LUDO: This is how to do  a comedic villain right. You have fun with him in the beginning, and then you make him into a legit threat the next, and by the end give him a redemption arc so as to let him go back on his old ways without soiling his actual good moments as an antagonist. He was the one who surprised me the most.

TOFFEE: Ooooohhhhhhhhh everybody loves this lawyer-lizard B0I and so do I. This guy’s plan was 1: not evil at all, 2: his methods were borderline black and grey, and 3: it was still going on in the background of the story of the entire show since his arival. His personality was cool, suave, persuasive, manipulative, downright terrifying sometimes, and he was just so good at it. While everyone certainly wishes we had more of him, what we got and how long le lasted just cements him as probably one of my all-time favorite villains ever really.

Ms. HEINOUS/METEORA: Oh shakespeare where art thou? Such a wondrous work this tragedey is. Heinous just starts out as a villain who pushes the patriarchy so you can say “fuck that shit,” tries to steal youth for herself, wants to kill Marco for ruining her perfection, y’know yahoo. But the moment you realize her name is Meteora, and what her past has been like... yeah, this is a fuckin’ shakespearian villain for certain. It gets to a point where you begin to agree with what she’s doing, and you’re glad thing turn out all right for her in the end, but god-damn she was such a captivating force to go up against. Scar can suck one compared to this.

MINA LOVEBERRY: I wanna say this was a good attempt at an Aku-type villain (humor and terror in perfect balance), but yeah she could have been handled better. For what we did get with her though, I’m content with it. It’s just funny to see hobo-usagi here just hulk out and talk with a southern accent about what is essentially senile racism n’ shit. There are hints to a tragic past that led to this, and that was nice, but overall not exactly a swan song.

In fact, that’s kinda how the whole ending was wasn’t it? It was serviceable, but nothing big to write home about. I could have definitely used a little more polish to flesh out some things, but we got left with enough to tide over I suppose, though I so wanna see more. 

I mean, look at this new world we were left with! Could you imagine a new season just exploring that? It sounds like so much fun! However, the crew have this “leave them wanting more mentality (ha! hope you were paying attention to that foreshadowing!),” not to mention I have seen the creator Madame Daron Nefcy encourage all the creative fans this show has to do all sorts of stuff (of which we seemed to have wasted no time and not even waited for the show to end to start doing *glares at the fan-made-starco kids everywhere*).

Really, at the end of it all, I’d compare this entire series to a friend doing a cannonball from a high-dive. First, you’re amazed that they decided to climb the ladder. Second, you’re in awe of the guts their showing to prepare for the jump. Third, you gawk as they actually did jump off into the water from the height. But fourth, you see them underwater and watch them un form the ball and into a weird janky zero-gravity water thing swimming up for air, not to mention you remembered they didn’t swan dive. But that doesnt mean the plunge was all that bad, you enjoyed watching all the steps to it, didn’t you?

Overall, the score I shall leave it at would be... 7.5/10, and an easy thumbs up approval. It’s ending and other aspects have a lot to be desired, but the story and characters are too good to ignore. 

Check it out if you haven’t already (probably binge it), and to Madame Nefcy (if by some stroke of a miracle you see this) thank you so much for creating this show. I am so glad I saw it despite my gripes, and I’d gladly see it again.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Well, Sh*t, Diana

I’m not a fan of the DCEU. I think they make capeflicks the wrong way. Sure, i absolutely understand there is artistic merit in he creation process and i do love a different interpretation of a character but there are certain elements that absolutely have to hit in order to make your version of the character, true to the core character. Spider-Man is a geek, Iron Man is an arrogant asshole with a heart of gold, and cap is a roided out boy scout. Unless the character has some nebulous history, like Donna Troy or Captain Marvel, the blue print for creating the characters is right there. Someone needs to be in charge to make sure you follow the plan. someone needs to be the one to reel you in when you stray too far from what’s been established before you go from Batman to Rorschach I know it sounds like i don’t like DC but that’s not true. I love them. Not as much as Marvel but i still dig their stories. Mostly. Hell, The Dark Knight is one of my all-time favorite films. I’m not saying they need to be as good as that but at least give me recognizable version of the characters, especially when there are excellent adaptions like this out there for comparison. Just because you CALL your movie a Superman movie, doesn’t mean it IS a Superman movie, ya dig? With that in mind, here’s hat i thought of Wonder Woman 1984.

The Good

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman hits it out of the ark. This is the best I've ever seen her act in her short career. Look, i know she’s been doing it for a while now, but it's be honest; Wonder Woman is literally the strongest role she’s had to date. The emotional complexity of Diana Prince is easily the most nuanced character Gadot has ever played to this point and it took a while for her to really nail that as a reality. WW84 really demonstrates how Gadot has finally found a happy medium between her acting ability and the strengths of the character. I was a little sus when she was cast originally but immediately got on board when it turned out that she as the best thing about BvS. Since then, shes continued to grow with the character and seeing the ultimate version of her interpretation was a joy to watch.

Chris Pine as Steve Trevor was Chris Pine. Look, he’s great at his job. Dude knows his range and he stays in that lane perfectly. This makes his characters kind of same-t, you’d be hard-pressed to tell me the difference between Trevor and his version of Kirk, but I'm not mad either way. It’s always a delight seeing he show up to steal a few scenes then disappearing before overstaying his welcome.

I legitimately love the chemistry between Gadot and Pine. They are great together onscreen and it really lends a bit of authenticity to their relationship in the film. The way Trevor returns is wonky as f*ck and I'll get into that in a minute, but it was good to see him up there with Diana, for sure.

Pedro Pascal as this version of Maxwell Lord was pretty okay. I generally enjoy Pascal’s work, specifically on The Mandalorian and GoT, and he executes here to that inspired degree. He does an able job being a different kind of foil to Diana’s different kind of hero and it all works. Even if this version of the character does not.

Kristen Wiig’s Barbara Minerva was delightful. Look, i love Wiig, man. She’s great in everything she’s in. There is a charisma to her that only the very best SNL alumni can claim to have and it makes it really difficult not to root for Wiig in her projects. I mean, i paid money to see her version of Ghostbusters! Legit disappointed with that nonsense but i went because i like Wiig and she was the star. I was not disappointed in her performance as Minerva. No, she was exceptional as that character. I was, however, put off by her version of Cheetah but I'll get to that, too...

This movie is gorgeous. I’m an Eighties baby so seeing that whole aesthetic is always fun. Takes me back to when i was young. Part of the reason i love Stranger Things is because of that nostalgia. WW84 doesn’t execute as thoroughly as that show in their Reagan era retro run, but it’s serviceable. Big hair, big shoulders, big colors; It’s all there and it’s fantastic.

The effects are a little hit or miss but, overall, they’re okay. Certain aspects of this film’s super abilities, that fantastical sh*t which makes this a capeflick, could have been visualized better but i get why they weren’t. Most of my gripes with this type of stuff are nitpicks and you get over them pretty quickly. Most, not all.

Patty Jenkins is getting more and more comfortable behind the camera in films like this. The action in WW84 is much more detailed, much better shot, than in it’s predecessor. Free from Snyder’s grimdark influence, we have a relatively bright, relatively light, take on Wondy akin to the old camp from the Seventies show and i kind of dig it. It’ a choice and i commend Jenkins for making it.

The score is great. I mean, it’s Hans Zimmer, man. When does he ever drop the ball on sh*t like this? His score is actually incredibly important to this flick. There’s not a lot of action in it, thing is almost a character study or morality parable dressed up as a capeflick, so you need that extra impact to get you over the expository hump. Simmer delivers this with a delicate and powerful companion soundtrack. One could make the argument that this score is the best thing about Wonder Woman 84. I’m not, but one could.

The Monkey's Paw effect was executed pretty well in this flick. I was surprised by the level of escalation and how it all kind of made sense. I'd say that the writing was great because of that but it really isn't, just this one aspect.

That Lynda Carter cameo, tho.

The Bad

I hate this plot so much, man. The overall narrative is goddamn convoluted and a little inept. The primary conflict seems incredibly forced and the absolute hurdles this thing had to do in order to shoehorn Trevor back into the story is f*cking disappointing. It’s effectively Heaven Can Wait with Amazons, magic wishes, furry nudity, and Eighties excess. This sounds like a dope ass anime but it’s not. It’s a wonky, uneven, adequate time spent with contrived nonsense.

This is easily some of the weakest dialogue I've ever heard in my life. I cannot stress enough that I absolutely understand this is a capeflick so I'm not expecting Shakespeare but at least give me something better than this.

I hate this version of Maxwell Lord. Look, in the book, this dude was evil Batman. He bested the entire Justice league, every last one of them, with his sheer brilliance and terrifying capability. He achieved absolute victory over DC’s heroes prompting Diana to literally break his neck to rob him of his triumph. It’s wild to see. She actually thinks about it. Wonder Woman pauses, contemplates her options, and them murders Lord in cold blood, in front of Superman, and just walks away from dude’s corpse! It was brutal and understand. Maxwell Lord was a f*cking problem and he was only going to get worse. WW84′s version is not a problem and could have been much, much, better.

Full-blown Cheetah is gross looking. The effects for her wholly CG body are f*cking terrible, man. Obviously, they frame this “fight” at night to hide all of that but it’s still really, really, bad. I understand that there’s a budget that you have to hit but, f*ck, you couldn’t give me Rebirth version of Cheetah with two hundred million dollars? Word? I shouldn’t be surprised about this, all of the DCEU CG villains look like sh*t, but how hard is it to execute Cheetah properly? The Mortal Kombat guys did it for a game but you can’t do it for a movie? Really?

This feels like a throwback capeflick and i have a real issue with that. Of course, i like the old versions of superhero movies. Donner’s Superman and Burton’s Batman will always mean a great deal to me but we are beyond that now. We have a better understanding of how to do this now. It’s a legitimate film genre with prestige pieces and everything. Why the f*ck are we looking back instead of forward with this movie? I imagine the cartoonish nature of this movie was a conscious choice by Jenkins but it definitely feels like a miscalculation on her part.

There are a great many plot holes and loose threads left unexplored. Why didn't Barbara lose her powers when Maxwell lost his? That convoy really didn't see them f*cking kids in the road? How and why did she go full Cheetah for that matter? Why does Steve look like himself to Diana when he doesn't even look like himself to himself? How the f*ck did Barbara just walk into the whole ass White House like that? While on the the subject of Barbara, what the f*ck was the cost of her wish? Was the the Cheetah thing? None of that was very clear. Will Stagg get out of prison for the tax fraud thing in the beginning? I get that I shouldn't b e analyzing this movie to the extent that I am but it's so loose with its own internal logic, I can't help it.

Two and a half hours is a real big ask, man. This flick did not need this run time. You could easily trim thirty to forty minutes off this thing and still have a really compelling watch. As it is, there's too much time for the pacing to get dumb and, boy, does it get dumb.

The Verdict

Wonder Woman 1984 isn’t a Wondy flick. It’s a generic superhero vehicle that happens to have Diana slotted in the pole position. You could have put any character and their main love interest in these roles and it would have worked out fine with little to no tweaking. This sequel feels uninspired in a lot of ways. It’s completely devoid of the emotional weight that first run carried. I can’t say it’s terrible, though, because i know what else is in the catalog to this point. WW84 is still one of the best in the DCEU and that says way more about the franchise than it does this flick. It’s not all bad, however. I did enjoy Gadot as Wondy. She’s come a long way and you can see just how comfortable she is as Diana. Chris Pine is going to Chris Pine. His Steve Trevor is, once again, the best thing about this movie. Rather, his and Gadot’s chemistry is the best thing about this movie. The newcomers are pretty okay as well.

I always enjoy Pedro Pascal and this version of Maxwell Lord ain’t terrible but it is way too different from the core character for me to really get on board Just write a different character, you know? Nothing on the page about this version of Lord, come anywhere near the violent mastermind from the books and i think that’s a very real missed opportunity. I was a little sus of the Kristen Wiig casting for Barbara Minerva but she pulled it off. I really enjoyed her as Cheetah literally until she actually be Cheetah. i was curious why the marketing refused to show her in full-blown Cheetara mode and, when i saw it, i understood. They should have let those effects cook a little longer. That’s the theme of this entire flick, though, wen i think about it; Sh*t should have cooked a little longer.

WW84 is a decent watch, if a little long in the tooth. It;s mad campy, saccharine sweet at points, and is definitely a capeflick envisioned through the eyes of a woman. It’s not bad, mind you, it’s just not that good, either. Everything seems almost but not quite. The villains are almost compelling but not quite. Diana’s entire arc in this seems almost cathartic but not quite. The necessity of Steve Trevor seems justified but not quite. This thing just misses the mark and yet, somehow, it’s still one of the best in the DCEU catalog. hat sh*t just boggles my mind, man. If you know your Amazonian lore like i do, this film can be frustrating at time. If you’re a fan of the DCEU, you’ll probably enjoy this flick. If you’re a fan of this version of the Wondy myths, then 84 is definitely for you. There is enough other stuff here to entertain and distract so it’s an okay time overall. The first one is still the best out of the lot, though.

[little-chimchim]

Don’t Let Go- Part 4

Rating: R (Heeeere we go)

Word Count: 2669

Genre: Ice skating! au, fluff, supreme fluff, angst, brother! Hyungwon, severe angst, smut

Pairing: Wonho x Reader

A/N: Holy shit, two parts in a day! I’ve legit had nothing to do all day so I’ve been working on this baby like crazy. Also, this is the first smut I’ve ever written so if it is not the best I apologize in advance. I hope you all enjoy!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3   Part 5

He was different. Hoseok had not looked you in the eyes since that night. After a while you had believed that you had envisioned the entire thing; but every time he looked at you, he looked away promptly. He wouldn’t do this if he didn’t regret something.

The more you thought about this, the more you worried. Exactly what happened confused you just as much. You knew for certain that he was going in for a kiss, but why he pulled away and why he was so angry about it, is what perplexed you the most.

Your feelings towards your skating partner were unwavering and no matter how much you tried to push them aside, they stuck like glue.

Practices went on like normal. Nationals were in a few weeks and the routine was in full force. This time, it was made specifically for you and Hoseok. There were moments in the routine where he would bring your face close to his, creating a faux sense of sensuality that you both knew drove the judges mad.

But as the days went on, he had stopped bringing you so close, just enough to keep the effect, though not anywhere near what he had done before.

He was the same as he had ever been with the boys. He talked to them as normal, like nothing had happened. Though, when he saw you, it felt like you had never known him.

One Saturday morning, on one of your rare breaks from the rink, you got so caught up in your emotions that you called one of your oldest friends.

Lee Jooheon was the closest friend you had that wasn’t a skater. You had met during elementary school and the two of had been stuck with one another since. With the skating season in full bloom, the two of you hadn’t been able to talk much. He was also very busy with his music. He was an amatuer dj, but with his new gigs at a few of the newer clubs in the city, he had been getting some recognition.

But that would never keep him away from his best friend.

He arrived around noon, a coffee in hand and a bag of chocolate in the other. You leaned on the wall as he walked in, smiling wildly. “I’m not pmsing you know, you didn’t have to bring me chocolate.” You joked with him.

Jooheon shrugged his shoulders and pointed to the door “Well, I can go take them back to the store I gue…” You threw up your hand to silence him. You threw your arms around him and hugged him tightly. “God I missed you ‘Heon.” You told him.

Jooheon did his best to hug you back, his gifts still in his hands. “It’s only been a month Y/N” You pulled back and shot him a glare. He smiled cheekily and set the stuff down “But I suppose I missed you too.”

You chuckled happily and brought the gifts to the kitchen. He followed closely behind, feeling at home in your apartment. “Is Hyungwon home?” He asked you.

You shook your head, shuffling through the back of chocolates to find your favorite flavor. “No, he’s at the rink with the other guys. They’re prepping for Nationals so he’s over there supporting them” Jooheon looked to you, confused. “Why isn’t he skating?”

You rolled your eyes “Because he broke his arm. That’s why I had to start skating with Hoseok.” You reminded the man in front of you. Jooheon shook his head, laughing to himself. “And Hoseok is the one you’re madly in love with.” Jooheon guessed, though he was mostly poking fun at you.

You sighed, knowing full well that he was joking. “I’m not in love with him, I just hate having my emotions played with.” you grumbled, taking a bite out of the rich chocolate. “Riiight, tell me about what happened,”

And so you did.

It left Jooheon just as perplexed and pissed as you were.

Because of this, the two of you decided to watch movies on the couch, like you had always done before when you were younger. Eventually you both fell asleep, only to be woken up again by the sound of the boys coming home from the rink.

You perked your head up from Jooheon’s shoulder, waving hello to the boys as they walked loudly through the door. Hyungwon walked over to Jooheon as soon as he saw him on the couch. He smiled and stuck out his free hand. Jooheon took it and was pulled up by your brother. “Hey man, it’s been a while.” Hyungwon said.

Jooheon nodded his head and turned to Hyunwoo and MInhyuk, who, in turn came to hug him too.

“See Y/N, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen these sad sacks, they can be rightfully ecstatic to see me.” Jooheon preened jokingly. You scrunched your nose and mocked him. You saw Hoseok out of the corner of your eye, he stood by the door, waiting for the others to stop talking to Jooheon.

You got off the couch and walked over to him. He put his gaze to his feet, finding anything to look at that wasn’t you. “How was practice?” You asked, trying to strike a conversation with the man. Hoseok shrugged “It was fine I suppose, would have been better if my partner was there. But, she decided to skip to sleep all over some man.”

“Too bad my partner is a petty, confusing man who can’t seem to make up his mind.” You griped back quickly. For the first time in days, the two of you finally made eye contact. Hoseok had sent you a glare that sent an unpleasant shiver down your spine.

You could tell he was about to say something back, but Hyungwon and Jooheon interrupted him. “Hey, Y/N, Jooheon and the rest of us are getting drinks.” He said, pointing to the door as he grabbed his keys.

“Will you be alright for a few hours?” You nodded and waved him off. Your brother had always tried stealing your best friend away. Granted, they had always been very close, but you and Jooheon were always closer.

The rest of the boys quickly left, leaving you and Hoseok alone in the small apartment. Hoseok shook his head and started walking to the door. “I’ll see you at practice tomorrow,” He quietly murmured.

You walked to him and grabbed his sleeved, tugging it back so he would face you. “You’re not leaving until you tell me what’s up your ass, Hoseok.” You snapped, knowing full well what was about to come.

Hoseok ran a hand through his brown hair and sighed. “Nothi-”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, you won’t talk to me or look at me. You try to distance yourself from me at any chance you get. I want to know what’s wrong so you and I can actually get along before Nationals.”

Hoseok frowned but he looked at you sincerely in the eyes. He knew you were furious but he couldn’t help but to find it a little endearing. “I’m sorry” he whispered before taking your face into his hands and pulling you forward.

Your first kiss had been Hyunwoo. You were fifteen to his eighteen. You both were stupid drunk, having been drinking at a party both you and Hyungwon had hosted when your parents were out of town. You were young, and you knew full well what kind of parties these turned into. But you wanted nothing more than to feel older than you were. So, on the front porch of your house, at just around two in the morning, you grabbed Hyunwoo and kissed him.

Granted, nothing came of that, and you were more than happy that it didn’t. You saw him as a brother, much like your biological one. But that sloppy, drunken kiss could not compare to now.

His lips were gentle against yours, nothing like a peck, but nothing like the disgustingly harsh drunken kisses. He held your body close to his, his firm hand made his way to your back and pressed you against him. All of the anger you felt just moments prior and alleviated and the only thing you could concentrate on was the feeling of his lips against yours.

He pulled you back by your shoulders to put some space between the two of you. He reached down to grab to hem of his shirt and pulled it up above his head. You quickly glanced down at his chest. It wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen before. Skating outfits did not leave much to the imagination, but seeing his bare chest in it’s entirety left you wanting more.

Hoseok pushed you back to the wall, encasing your body within his arms and body. He leaned in to kiss you again, this time with more drive than before. You raked your fingers over his warm skin, causing him to softly groan into your mouth. Hoseok pulled his right hand from the wall and found his way to the base of your shirt. He pulled away again and stared at you, mouth hung open, still catching his breath from the kisses.

You gave him a quick nod of approval before he pulled the shirt over your head. He threw it behind him and continued to kiss you, his hands roaming all over your stomach and the top of your covered breasts. Eventually, his mouth wandered down your neck and over your collarbone. The adventurous side of him decided to begin sucking on your skin.

A small moaned escaped your lips. Hoseok looked up to you and smirked. He grabbed your legs and lifted you up. He grabbed onto your ass, leaving you room to wrap your legs around his torso.

Hoseok walked through the hall before carrying you into your room. He set you on the bed softly before letting you go from his hold. Hoseok looked down to you, hesitating before going any further. “Are you sure?” He whispered.

You nodded your head in response. “I need to hear you say it”

“Hoseok, I want you to fuck me.” You saw the satisfaction on his face as the words left your lips. “I am not going easy on you this time.” He grunted, unzipping his pants. He threw his pants to the side, revealing his semi hard erection poking through his underwear.

He latched his fingers on the belt loops of your jeans and pulled them down. Hoseok smiled smugly to himself the second he saw exactly just how wet you were. He pressed his thumb roughly against your heated core. You twitched from the sudden pressure. You tried pressing your legs together to subdue the discomfort you felt between them but Hoseok was already on top of that. He rubbed his thumb against your clothed heat, testing to see if you were wet enough for him to step in.

He pulled his thumb back to lick it, he pulled his hand away from his mouth and nodded in satisfaction. “Fuck” was all he whispered. He slid your panties down your legs and did the same with his own. He tossed them aside and held his cock in his hand, stroking it so he would become fully hard.

He rubbed the tip of his cock along your folds. You hated the teasing, in any other circumstance you would have loved it, but you wanted him; now. “Hoseok!” You snapped. He nodded his brunette head and eased his way into you.

“Why do you feel so tight, Y/N?” He groaned as he began moving in and out of you, making sure you were well adjusted to his size. He stretched you pleasingly, it was enough to be extremely satisfying, but not enough to the point where it hurt.

His pace started to pick up and you couldn’t help but to throw your head back and arch your back, engulfed in the pleasure. Not long after, he was pounding into you quickly and roughly. Your pants eventually turned to loud moans. Hoseok groaned, still pounding into you. He held onto your shoulders tightly, finding any part of your body to hold onto and keep steady with.

“Hoseok, I’m going to cum!” You moaned. Hoseok nodded “Cum for me babe, so am I.” You both yelled as the two of you reached your climaxes. Hoseok leaned down to you, placing his head upon yours, still inside of you.

You waited until both of you had come down from your highs. He pulled out of you and lied down on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling and stared at it in silence. You did the same, waiting for him to say something. After about a minute or so, you realized you were the one who was going to have to do it.

You turned on your side and stared at him until he did the same. “Now are you going to tell me why you were so pissed at me?” You finally asked him. Hoseok reached over and pulled your body to his. Hoseok sighed, he held you to his bare body and traced small patterns on your back.

This in it’s entirety was so comforting that you wanted to stay there for days.

“I wasn’t mad at you, not even close. I was more mad at myself than anything.” He admitted. You looked up to him, watching as his features changed from happy to saddened in just a few seconds.

“When I was training with Palminov, I had started in partner skating, an event that I stayed in for quite a while. My partner was a girl named Mariana. She was a talented girl, beautiful and kind. I fell hopelessly in love with her.” He paused only to hold you more firmly to him. “Eventually, we were going out. I was too young to think about love, but I didn’t care. That girl was my life. We dated for a few years, and when I was twenty, I found out that she had cheated on me the majority of our relationship. I found out when I found her and Kihyun in bed together.”

You looked up to him quickly. The same man that you had met during regionals. “But you seemed so friendly with him,” you said, confused by the two men’s relationship.

Hoseok nodded “With Madame Palminov’s students, there was a strict rule that had been set in place the moment we began training with her. No dating amongst students. So Mariana and I kept our relationship a secret for years. Turns out she was keeping that secret with Kihyun too, and Lim Changkyun. That poor sap still is with her, even on the rink.” He sighed but continued on.

“I was so devastated that I changed my event a couple of months before the first competition of the season. A few years later, look where I am.” He went quiet. He stopped the patterns on your back and moved to your hair, playing with it gently.

“I wanted to kiss you that night, I really did, but I was so afraid of doing anything once I realized my feelings towards you. I was afraid of falling in love with my partner again.” He admitted.

This time it was your turn to hold on to him. You hugged him and burrowed your head deeply into his neck. “Please don’t be afraid of that. Allow yourself to have feelings for me, I’m not Mariana. I’m Y/N, and I know that I won’t hurt you.” Your words came out in a whisper, but you knew he heard them.

“I don’t think I’m afraid for you.” He said back, kissing the top of your head.

“Hoseok?”

He hummed in response, closing his tired eyes “Please don’t let go of me, I want to stay here.”

He smiled “I wouldn’t dare.” he whispered before the two of you fell asleep.

[evilelitest2]

So lets talk about Autism for a moment

Rare personal post for a moment.  Now I don’t tend to talk about my personal life on tumblr very much, because it is my personal life and it is tumblr.  But yes, I am autistic, and no, I don’t talk about it very much, and yes, I do have something to say about it for once.  

A little while ago, a chap known as @leepacey had a post where they had a list of characters who they believed were Autistic.  Most were characters who I didn’t know or I agreed with, but some on the list were characters like Zuko from Avatar, Flynn from The Force Awakens, Elphaba from Wicked, Hermione from Harry Potter, and Lilo from Lilo and Stich.  All of whom are characters who I don’t think are autistic, just socially awkward.  In fact I really think there is a problem with the way autism is understood in popular media where anybody who is uncomfortable socially is labelled autistic. This makes talking about the condition on its own terms rather difficult.  And I said as much. But then @leepacey here PMed me this: "hi are you autistic? also did u read that screenshotted post at the top of my post before running your mouth? also why do you not want autistic people to have happiness” and then this: “also before you respond saying anything, please know: i don't care about literally anything you could say to me unless it's an apology for interacting with my post.” I said that yes, I was autistic and they responded with this:

“i get it, you're pathetic and miserable so you want all other autistics to be too”

Later on they made more than a few mean remarks about my dyslexia

Oh did I forget to mention? I am dyslexic, which should come as absolutely no surprise at all to anybody who follows me. Anyways.

I was surprised to find that I felt legitimately. Long time followers know that I don’t get hurt very often by internet drama, but there is something uniquely upsetting when somebody who claims to represent my interests spits in my face.  Having your experience invalidated is never fun, and so you can consider this post the closest I get to an emotional outburst on the internet. But since it’s me, I want to re-frame this whole thing in terms of politics because...of course I do.  

So....couple of problems here.  The blog is decently popular and far more importantly, seems to be about autistic rights.  It is claiming to represent autisic people, but has this really nebulous way of using a legitimate issue as a cudgel. And I see this behavior with a lot of people in a lot of different movements.

And no, this isn’t a “SJW are terrible” post because I’m pretty sure I’m an SJW, if that term means “somebody who acknowledges that social inequality exists.” One of the difficulties of social justice is that it is very difficult to talk critically about it without inviting alt right GamerGate reactionary trump voting assholes to leap in and declare the entire notion of social justice fundamentally wrong. So let me just say: Anita Sarkeesian is not a conman.

There is no White Genocide.

Autism isn’t abnormal.

But I can’t help but notice people use issues as way to abuse power, and so here is a helpful list of tips of how to identify those who co-opt causes for their own benefit. ‘Cause you find these people in every movement, and they are always toxic.

Since I am as always, horrible with technology, I still haven’t figured out how to screenshot personal chats, so I am posting the transcripts at the bottom here for those who want to see the details. A few things that keep happening:

1) There’s no possibility of reasonable, non-bigoted disagreement.

My original post was ‘I don’t think these characters are autistic because X” That was about the sum of it.  Now, maybe I was wrong, maybe I am completely and utterly wrong, but this person didn’t really allow for there to be any way I could disagree with their conclusions without being somebody who wants to make autistic people miserable.  I have to have an ulterior motive, I need to be motivated by something other than “I disagree with the actual content here,” because then they would have to respond to my arguments. It’s not as if addressing my arguments here was particularly difficult or upsetting--the only thing at issue is whether a fictional character is autistic or not. 

And It’s not as if I wasn’t open to being wrong. For example, upon reflection, Lilo being autistic actually does make a good deal of sense, @chaotic-good-milk-hotel made a good argument for why it makes sense to read Lilo as autistic.  We can talk, disagree, have a conversation about this without anybody having an ulterior motive or ill intention because you know...its just people’s head cannons.

2) They immediately go for the throat.  

Again, this is a conversation about somebody’s headcanon that Zuko from Avatar is Autistic.  This is the definition of a conversation that doesn’t need to get mean spirited in the least.  But right off the bat I am hit by “also why do you not want autistic people to have happiness.” Because there is a certain type of person who really conflates any disagreement with the worse levels of disagreement.  At the risk of going armchair psychology, I imagine that they want me to be the type of person who thinks Autism Speaks is legitimate, so they can feel more justified by lashing out at me cause you know....anger is addictive.  

3) Massive hypocrisy:

Am I the only one who notices that they are like “I fight against ableism” but continued to mock my spelling after I told them I was dyslexic?  Cause it isn’t really about the issue, the issue is just a way to put somebody else down.  

4) Strawmaning

Here is my original response.  Nowhere in this did I say I wanted to hurt autistics, nowhere did I support Autism Speaks, nowhere did I say that I wanted there to be less autistic representation, yet I am evidently dismissing the entire notion of autistic people being acceptable.  Again: “i get it, you're pathetic and miserable so you want all other autistics to be too” 

5) Conflating what is good for you with what is good for the larger movement.

This is the big one I really want to talk about. The rest are more personal gripes, but this is the biggest danger you find in communities for the marginalized: people who take their own personalities and make them into the supposed personality of the community. Throughout the chat leepacey continues to refer to any disagreement with themselves as a disagreement with the movement as a whole.  So if you think “That character is not autistic” by extension you are saying “I think that autistics have no value whatsoever”. In essence “I speak for the autistics, if you speak against me, you speak against autistics.” Hmm, that sounds familiar. Speak. Autism. Autism. Speak. No, it’s not coming to me.

And you can find this kind of really dangerous attitude all the time in marginalized communities, because when you are legitimately oppressed by society, it is really really easy to rationalize all your behavior as just a response to oppression.  When you do good work fighting against obviously evil people, it is easy to see anybody who opposes you as part of that same evil.  And that’s how you end up attacking members of the group you’re supposed to be fighting for.

Criticism does not equal persecution.  There is real legitimate persecution out there, you don’t need to elevate normal criticism to the level of oppression. And once you get into the realm of reading all criticism as persecution, then your movement has begun to attack itself.  

This is the reason I rarely talk about my autism: because this is not the first time something like this has happened to me. The autism “community” which always winds up hurting me more than it ever helps. This person claims to represent autistic people, but they sure as hell didn’t represent me.

Happy April Everyone. 

Chat logs are below, if any of you know how I can screenshot them and post them to confirm them as legit, please let me know because I don’t really like asking people just to take me for my word.

Today at 6:22 PMleepacey sent a photoset ✨ happy autism acceptance mo...hi are you autistic? also did u read that screenshotted post at the top of my post before running your mouth? also why do you not want autistic people to have happiness

leepacey: also before you respond saying anything, please know: i don't care about literally anything you could say to me unless it's an apology for interacting with my post

dicecast: I love this "Are you autistic""Before you answer, I am just going to go run on a a ton of preemptive defensive assumptions"But the answer is yes and you're post is just...wrong

leepacey: i get it, you're pathetic and miserable so you want all other autistics to be toohow dare other autistic people make positivity posts

dicecast: or.....ori disagree with the content of you're post  like it is entirely possible that I don't think those characters are autistic without wishing hatred on autistic

leepacey: so just don't reblog it? magical i know

dicecast:atustics*

leepaceyso keep your garbage off my post

dicecast: I didn't want to not reblog it

leepacey*atustics 😂😂😂

dicecast: I thhink people mistake social discomfort with autism

leepacey: nice okay

dicecast: which I think marginalizes autism more.  i'm dylexic dude but kudos for like immediately going for the throat

that level of defensiveness and hyperbolic ad hominem really is a testament to how much you care about people 

because you know...it isn't remotely possible I might....disagree with those characters

being labeled as autistic

leepacey: i am autistic and am getting a masters in nonfiction creative writing, writing about myself and my autism. it's literally my life's work, writing about autism positivity as a way of helping the mental health of other autistic people and educating allistics about the traits of autism. but yeah; i'm spreading misinformation about autistic traits because god forbid people don't see us all as nonverval five year olds

dicecast: I wasn't aware that assuming i hate autistic people is spreading the message positively

Also, and this might be a bit difficult so I"ll go slowely but it is possible that I don't want autistics to be depicted as only non verbal 5 years olds

AND...

wait for it

I still disagree with some of you're choices on the list

leepacey: this post is made to help the mental health of autistic people. it's not meant as a definitive guide to autistic traits. i went through tags finding the most popular autistic headcanons, and compiled them on one post, because the beginning of april can be a very negative and triggering time for people because of autism speaks.

dicecast: like those don't contracit each other

leepaceyshut up for five seconds god you talk too much

dicecast: oh no....i write fast, how bloody terrible

now i actually agree that april can be triggering time for autistics and I hate autism speaks because they are awful

leepacey: yeah, hence the existence of my *positivity* post

dicecast: but again....i disagreed with you're choice of character

I don't think some of those characters autistic...and you're solution is to basically say i'm a self loathing autistic person....

leepacey: and you're still under the assumption anyone cares ?

dicecast: because I disagreed with you're choicesleepaceyokaydicecastwell I clearly got under you're skin...again, this is a major overreaction

because disagreeing with you

you specifically

isn't hating autistic peple

unless you are the autism pope I suppose

leepacey: my post has like 11k notes of autistic people saying how much this post means to them, and then a couple people like you (usually allistics) being like no!!! these characters aren't autistic!!!!! wah wah!!!! like how dare a post make autistic people happy, right? you're the one who decides if headcanons are okay or not

dicecast: The fact that you can't distinguish between "I don't think these characters are autistic" and "I don't think autistic people should be happy" says a lot more about you than 11k responses

cause you know...I didn't say autistic shouldn't be happy

Now we can have a reasonable conversation about if Zuko is autistic or notread into various scenes and talk about autistic representation

leepacey: that's the thing i keep trying to repeat to you: the post exists to make autistic people happy. you think that i'm so wrong to say these characters are autistic, as if it's some crime to humanity that i say "hey maybe prince zuko is autistic :D" like that's some crime against humanity

dicecast: Disagreeing with you is a crime against humanity?

leepacey: sarcasm, sweetheartnice reading skillzi'm done hear. go back to reddit, troll  {and then they blocked me} -------

Note: I think it is pretty obvious that they thought I wasn’t autistic and were totally prepped to go into a whole “You aren’t autistic you can’t speak” spiel and then just got all huffy and ran off when they realized they didn’t actually have that particular gun in their arsenal.

And I want this duly noted...they messaged me. I didn’t go to them. Opening up with “Fuck you and I don’t care what you have to say” and then blocking me. Classy. 

[Post edited by randomshoes, who is very angry because someone was very very nasty to her friend and he’s upset and she can’t do anything about it other than pick for typos. What you say to people matters.]

[dicecast]

Lets Talk about Autism

Rare personal post for a moment.  Now I don’t tend to talk about my personal life on tumblr very much, because it is my personal life and it is tumblr.  But yes, I am autistic, and no, I don’t talk about it very much, and yes, I do have something to say about it for once.  

A little while ago, a chap known as @leepacey had a post where they had a list of characters who they believed were Autistic.  Most were characters who I didn’t know or I agreed with, but some on the list were characters like Zuko from Avatar, Flynn from The Force Awakens, Elphaba from Wicked, Hermione from Harry Potter, and Lilo from Lilo and Stich.  All of whom are characters who I don’t think are autistic, just socially awkward.  In fact I really think there is a problem with the way autism is understood in popular media where anybody who is uncomfortable socially is labelled autistic. This makes talking about the condition on its own terms rather difficult.  And I said as much. But then @leepacey here PMed me this: "hi are you autistic? also did u read that screenshotted post at the top of my post before running your mouth? also why do you not want autistic people to have happiness” and then this: “also before you respond saying anything, please know: i don't care about literally anything you could say to me unless it's an apology for interacting with my post.” I said that yes, I was autistic and they responded with this:

“i get it, you're pathetic and miserable so you want all other autistics to be too”

Later on they made more than a few mean remarks about my dyslexia

Oh did I forget to mention? I am dyslexic, which should come as absolutely no surprise at all to anybody who follows me. Anyways.

I was surprised to find that I felt legitimately. Long time followers know that I don’t get hurt very often by internet drama, but there is something uniquely upsetting when somebody who claims to represent my interests spits in my face.  Having your experience invalidated is never fun, and so you can consider this post the closest I get to an emotional outburst on the internet. But since it’s me, I want to re-frame this whole thing in terms of politics because...of course I do.  

So....couple of problems here.  The blog is decently popular and far more importantly, seems to be about autistic rights.  It is claiming to represent autisic people, but has this really nebulous way of using a legitimate issue as a cudgel. And I see this behavior with a lot of people in a lot of different movements.

And no, this isn’t a “SJW are terrible” post because I’m pretty sure I’m an SJW, if that term means “somebody who acknowledges that social inequality exists.” One of the difficulties of social justice is that it is very difficult to talk critically about it without inviting alt right GamerGate reactionary trump voting assholes to leap in and declare the entire notion of social justice fundamentally wrong. So let me just say: Anita Sarkeesian is not a conman.

There is no White Genocide.

Autism isn’t abnormal.

But I can’t help but notice people use issues as way to abuse power, and so here is a helpful list of tips of how to identify those who co-opt causes for their own benefit. ‘Cause you find these people in every movement, and they are always toxic.

Since I am as always, horrible with technology, I still haven’t figured out how to screenshot personal chats, so I am posting the transcripts at the bottom here for those who want to see the details. A few things that keep happening:

1) There’s no possibility of reasonable, non-bigoted disagreement.

My original post was ‘I don’t think these characters are autistic because X” That was about the sum of it.  Now, maybe I was wrong, maybe I am completely and utterly wrong, but this person didn’t really allow for there to be any way I could disagree with their conclusions without being somebody who wants to make autistic people miserable.  I have to have an ulterior motive, I need to be motivated by something other than “I disagree with the actual content here,” because then they would have to respond to my arguments. It’s not as if addressing my arguments here was particularly difficult or upsetting--the only thing at issue is whether a fictional character is autistic or not.

And It’s not as if I wasn’t open to being wrong. For example, upon reflection, Lilo being autistic actually does make a good deal of sense, @chaotic-good-milk-hotel made a good argument for why it makes sense to read Lilo as autistic.  We can talk, disagree, have a conversation about this without anybody having an ulterior motive or ill intention because you know...its just people’s head cannons.

2) They immediately go for the throat.  

Again, this is a conversation about somebody’s headcanon that Zuko from Avatar is Autistic.  This is the definition of a conversation that doesn’t need to get mean spirited in the least.  But right off the bat I am hit by “also why do you not want autistic people to have happiness.” Because there is a certain type of person who really conflates any disagreement with the worse levels of disagreement.  At the risk of going armchair psychology, I imagine that they want me to be the type of person who thinks Autism Speaks is legitimate, so they can feel more justified by lashing out at me cause you know....anger is addictive.  

3) Massive hypocrisy:

Am I the only one who notices that they are like “I fight against ableism” but continued to mock my spelling after I told them I was dyslexic?  Cause it isn’t really about the issue, the issue is just a way to put somebody else down.  

4) Strawmaning

Here is my original response.  Nowhere in this did I say I wanted to hurt autistics, nowhere did I support Autism Speaks, nowhere did I say that I wanted there to be less autistic representation, yet I am evidently dismissing the entire notion of autistic people being acceptable.  Again: “i get it, you're pathetic and miserable so you want all other autistics to be too”

5) Conflating what is good for you with what is good for the larger movement.

This is the big one I really want to talk about. The rest are more personal gripes, but this is the biggest danger you find in communities for the marginalized: people who take their own personalities and make them into the supposed personality of the community. Throughout the chat leepacey continues to refer to any disagreement with themselves as a disagreement with the movement as a whole.  So if you think “That character is not autistic” by extension you are saying “I think that autistics have no value whatsoever”. In essence “I speak for the autistics, if you speak against me, you speak against autistics.” Hmm, that sounds familiar. Speak. Autism. Autism. Speak. No, it’s not coming to me.

And you can find this kind of really dangerous attitude all the time in marginalized communities, because when you are legitimately oppressed by society, it is really really easy to rationalize all your behavior as just a response to oppression.  When you do good work fighting against obviously evil people, it is easy to see anybody who opposes you as part of that same evil.  And that’s how you end up attacking members of the group you’re supposed to be fighting for.

Criticism does not equal persecution.  There is real legitimate persecution out there, you don’t need to elevate normal criticism to the level of oppression. And once you get into the realm of reading all criticism as persecution, then your movement has begun to attack itself.  

This is the reason I rarely talk about my autism: because this is not the first time something like this has happened to me. The autism “community” which always winds up hurting me more than it ever helps. This person claims to represent autistic people, but they sure as hell didn’t represent me.

Happy April Everyone.

Chat logs are below, if any of you know how I can screenshot them and post them to confirm them as legit, please let me know because I don’t really like asking people just to take me for my word.

Today at 6:22 PMleepacey sent a photoset ✨ happy autism acceptance mo...hi are you autistic? also did u read that screenshotted post at the top of my post before running your mouth? also why do you not want autistic people to have happiness

leepacey: also before you respond saying anything, please know: i don't care about literally anything you could say to me unless it's an apology for interacting with my post

dicecast: I love this "Are you autistic""Before you answer, I am just going to go run on a a ton of preemptive defensive assumptions"But the answer is yes and you're post is just...wrong

leepacey: i get it, you're pathetic and miserable so you want all other autistics to be toohow dare other autistic people make positivity posts

dicecast: or.....ori disagree with the content of you're post  like it is entirely possible that I don't think those characters are autistic without wishing hatred on autistic

leepacey: so just don't reblog it? magical i know

dicecast:atustics*

leepaceyso keep your garbage off my post

dicecast: I didn't want to not reblog it

leepacey*atustics 😂😂😂

dicecast: I thhink people mistake social discomfort with autism

leepacey: nice okay

dicecast: which I think marginalizes autism more.  i'm dylexic dude but kudos for like immediately going for the throat

that level of defensiveness and hyperbolic ad hominem really is a testament to how much you care about people

because you know...it isn't remotely possible I might....disagree with those characters

being labeled as autistic

leepacey: i am autistic and am getting a masters in nonfiction creative writing, writing about myself and my autism. it's literally my life's work, writing about autism positivity as a way of helping the mental health of other autistic people and educating allistics about the traits of autism. but yeah; i'm spreading misinformation about autistic traits because god forbid people don't see us all as nonverval five year olds

dicecast: I wasn't aware that assuming i hate autistic people is spreading the message positively

Also, and this might be a bit difficult so I"ll go slowely but it is possible that I don't want autistics to be depicted as only non verbal 5 years olds

AND...

wait for it

I still disagree with some of you're choices on the list

leepacey: this post is made to help the mental health of autistic people. it's not meant as a definitive guide to autistic traits. i went through tags finding the most popular autistic headcanons, and compiled them on one post, because the beginning of april can be a very negative and triggering time for people because of autism speaks.

dicecast: like those don't contracit each other

leepaceyshut up for five seconds god you talk too much

dicecast: oh no....i write fast, how bloody terrible

now i actually agree that april can be triggering time for autistics and I hate autism speaks because they are awful

leepacey: yeah, hence the existence of my *positivity* post

dicecast: but again....i disagreed with you're choice of character

I don't think some of those characters autistic...and you're solution is to basically say i'm a self loathing autistic person....

leepacey: and you're still under the assumption anyone cares ?

dicecast: because I disagreed with you're choicesleepaceyokaydicecastwell I clearly got under you're skin...again, this is a major overreaction

because disagreeing with you

you specifically

isn't hating autistic peple

unless you are the autism pope I suppose

leepacey: my post has like 11k notes of autistic people saying how much this post means to them, and then a couple people like you (usually allistics) being like no!!! these characters aren't autistic!!!!! wah wah!!!! like how dare a post make autistic people happy, right? you're the one who decides if headcanons are okay or not

dicecast: The fact that you can't distinguish between "I don't think these characters are autistic" and "I don't think autistic people should be happy" says a lot more about you than 11k responses

cause you know...I didn't say autistic shouldn't be happy

Now we can have a reasonable conversation about if Zuko is autistic or notread into various scenes and talk about autistic representation

leepacey: that's the thing i keep trying to repeat to you: the post exists to make autistic people happy. you think that i'm so wrong to say these characters are autistic, as if it's some crime to humanity that i say "hey maybe prince zuko is autistic :D" like that's some crime against humanity

dicecast: Disagreeing with you is a crime against humanity?

leepacey: sarcasm, sweetheartnice reading skillzi'm done hear. go back to reddit, troll {and then they blocked me} -------

Note: I think it is pretty obvious that they thought I wasn’t autistic and were totally prepped to go into a whole “You aren’t autistic you can’t speak” spiel and then just got all huffy and ran off when they realized they didn’t actually have that particular gun in their arsenal.

And I want this duly noted...they messaged me. I didn’t go to them. Opening up with “Fuck you and I don’t care what you have to say” and then blocking me. Classy.

[Post edited by randomshoes, who is very angry because someone was very very nasty to her friend and he’s upset and she can’t do anything about it other than pick for typos. What you say to people matters.]

[dyernews]

Money at 30: My Experience Using Credit Karma Tax

Well, I did it — I completed and filed my tax return (almost) all by myself. This accomplishment marked a major departure from years prior where my father took all of the notes, stubs, and other various pieces of paperwork that seemed important and turned them into a coherent tax return that would be accepted by the IRS. However this year he suggested I give it a shot myself, while he’d still be there to look over the results before I sent them off.

Under this new arrangement, it was up to me to figure out which tax prep software I wanted to use. As a Quickbooks Self-Employed user, my first instinct was to head for TurboTax. Unforunately, given my self-employed tax situation, their online option would set me back at least $120, not including the additional state filing fee. That’s when I recalled seeing several ads for Credit Karma Tax during my visits to the free credit monitoring site. Seeing as Credit Karma’s offering promised that it was 100% free, I figured it was worth giving it a shot. After all, if I ran into trouble, I could always pony up for another option — and if it did work, I’d be saving $150+.

So how did it go? That’s worth discussing in-depth. However, since I have no experience with other tax prep options or even taxes in general, I hesitate to call this a “review” of the product. Instead, here was my experience using Credit Karma Tax.

Getting Started with Credit Karma Tax

The first step in signing up for Credit Karma Tax was an easy one as I am already a Credit Karma user. Of course, if that’s not the case for you, you can always sign up for a free account and log in with your username and password. Just so you’re aware, in order to complete your return with Credit Karma Tax, you will be required to enter such sensitive data as your address, phone number, social security number, and more. Thus, if you don’t trust the company enough to share such data, you’ll want to look elsewhere.

Once you’re all signed up, one of the first tax questions you’ll encounter is whether you have a W-2 to enter. Additionally the site will ask you a few questions and help you determine what other tax forms you’ll need to fill out. I presume that, for most people, this will make filing fairly easy to understand — especially if you have a W-2 and aren’t itemizing deductions. But for others there are several other forms available as well. As a result, both newbies and experts will likely be able to use the service efficiently.

What I Liked About Credit Karma Tax

As silly as it might sound to say, one of my favorite aspects of using Credit Karma Tax was the aesthetic. I wouldn’t go so far as to suggest that the site’s design made doing my taxes fun per se, but if I’m being honest, it did seem to make the process less stressful. I also appreciated how each section was organized, making it easy to go back and double check certain aspects of my return.

Another check mark in the platform’s “pro” column is that it allowed me to find all of the forms I needed to maximize my refund. Beyond the basic 1099 and W2 entry options, I was able to itemize my business deductions, claim a home office deduction, and nab a saver’s credit for our retirement contributions. All of these would have added to my bill had I been using another service but, with Credit Karma Tax, I had no worries that I would suddenly hit a paywall.

Speaking of price, that’s clearly the big selling point of Credit Karma Tax. In fact, when I was telling my dad I was taking it for a spin, he was incredulous about it being free — he simply didn’t understand what the business model for such an offering was. I’ll admit I was confused too, with both of us somewhat bracing for a bill at the end. Alas, it never came. Moreover the only ads I recall encountering (which is how I always assumed the service was monetized) came at the very end after my filing was complete.

Finally, while Credit Karma Tax does allow you to e-file for free, it also offers you the ability to download your tax forms in PDF format. This is extremely helpful for a few reason. First, seeing all the data I entered into Credit Karma placed on the actual tax forms reassured me that this was legit. In my case it also made it a lot easier to have my dad review my return before I officially filed. Lastly, since you should always keep copies of your past returns just in case, having that PDF download made it simple to get that done.

Where Credit Karma Tax Could Improve

Although I enjoyed and very much appreciated my Credit Karma Tax experience overall, there are a few areas where things could improve. Among them, in the cases I did need to make changes to a certain section, I was a bit annoyed to find that I couldn’t really skip the exact question I needed and instead had to click through a series of pages to get there. Granted some forms did allow you to view everything at once, but this wasn’t the case across the board.

Another minor gripe I had was that it didn’t seem like the service was going to automatically offer me a saver’s credit form (Form 8880). Then again, since I looked it up on my own before trying to complete my filing, I can’t say for sure that it wouldn’t have come up. Plus, since I knew to look for the form, it was very easy to search for it and pull it up — even by using keywods and not the form number itself.

In terms of my personal experience, there were also a couple of times where I wished Credit Karma Tax offered a little more information about what I was supposed to do. Although the site does have little question marks next to certain prompts so that you can get more info, it seems many of these explanations were simply taken from the IRS site. While that type of authoritative information is good to have, it doesn’t do much in the way of making things clear to inexperienced people like me. There were also some cases where I needed to refer to older tax returns and, yes, call my father (just once!) to make sure I was doing everything correctly. I should note there is apparently a live chat option available on the site that others might want to try utilizing before resorting to parental support like I did.

Beyond what I encountered, I’ve also read that some states aren’t yet supported in Credit Karma Tax and that those who lived in more than one state during the year also don’t have a way to file on the platform. I’m sure there are a few other exceptions as well but, for the most part, it seemed to cover a wide range of filers — and all for free.

Final Thoughts on Credit Karma Tax

Despite a few moments of head scratching and frustration, Credit Karma Tax allowed me to file both my federal and state tax returns without paying a penny. To me that’s truly amazing and definitely commendable. Moreover, even though I did have to place that one call to my dad in the process, he found no errors on my finished return, which is also a testament to Credit Karma’s product.

Lastly something else I want to mention is that, in addition to allowing you to download your returns in PDF form, Credit Karma Tax also offers links to the IRS website where you can check the progress of your refund. If nothing else, this is just more confirmation that the service did indeed file for you and that you (hopefully) won’t be getting any threatening letters in the mail. Plus, if you need to, the platform does give you the ability to file an amended return.

Overall, I’m still amazed that Credit Karma Tax is free and I’m really glad I decided to try it out. With this being only the second year the service has been offered, hopefully it will continue to improve with time and give the other guys a real run for their money.

The post Money at 30: My Experience Using Credit Karma Tax appeared first on Dyer News.

[thegoldenguard]

Booty Bay, Stranglethorn Vale

Katyr hummed thoughtfully as he swirled his glass around in his hand. The amber liquid of the booze that they had been given by the 'interesting' barkeep that he had been introduced to another time. Thankfully the man and his woman had gone off to deal with other customers and things leaving the two elves to discuss their business in peace and private. "So, I'm glad you agreed since most of this is way out of my league. You know how I do things, I like simple." Katyr explained griping to Bel while sipping at the liquor. "So let's just start out with the basics I guess, Lordly type wants us to build and run a private company that deals in all manner of business a lot of it though is going to have some fighting or muscle required." Katyr explained with a sigh, scratching his cheek as he looked across the table to see how she would react to all of this.

"But having information and knowing how to use it was also made rather important so you came to mind almost immediately." He ended with, going back to nursing his drink while gauging how Bel would react.

Belindra sat across from Katyr, a glass of wine in hand. She had that air of stoic faux-nobility, legs cross, back straight, never averting her gaze from her friend. As he finished what he was saying, the raven haired woman lets out a small hum. "So, some merchant friends of your's blackmailed you into starting a mercenary company." She pauses to take a sip of her wine, her face twisting a bit from the taste. She was used to... finer wine rather than the kind served at Booty Bay. "I mean, we -could- go the alternate route and have me take care of them for you, but then you'd just be indebted to me and we'd be back to square one." Once more, she pauses, shifting her legs. "You know, I've actually been looking into getting into more... legitmate business."

"I mean, you could most certainly try that route but they've taken on big fish before and these guys don't mess around. Tyrael might be easy on his own but he's got that dog of war in his corner at all times and he's the one you don't want to fuck with." Katyr shook his head, as he sat back as well. He laughed  a bit at Bel's simple sort of outlook on the situation. "And its only legitimate because the gold comes from someone who can pay to make things legit. I think we'll find our fair share of illegal activities happening. That's why I came to you after all."

Katyr winked, grinning around his drink before scratching at his stubbled cheek. The oddity among his kind wearing facial hair and even sporting hair on his arms and coming from under his shirt he was wearing.

"You say that like I haven't handled bigger threats before." Bel says, chuckling as she takes a sip of wine. "If only my missions weren't classified, I could tell you stories, my friend. Oooooh so many stories. But, yes, I do think what you're proposing is an interesting idea. One I can certainly throw my weight behind, if only to procure more contacts for my own business. Why, we could even use the Smashed Cauldron as our base. Light knows I could use some somewhat positive business there. Or even procure an outpost here, after all, Booty Bay is quite possibly the easiest city to bribe in all of Azeroth..."

Katyr hummed quietly as he shrugged a bit, "We could, but we also have the Firehawk Estate as our base of operations as well. I think we should split some of what we do so we can multi-task getting things up and running. Know anyone who might want to help us with some of this... Paperwork?" Katyr muttered with a sigh as he thought about all of that before considering the other thign she said. "As for Booty Bay, we have a base here more or less as well. Though that depends on how you feel about humans." Katyr asked with a raised eyebrow as he eyed the barkeep, who had gone back to the bar and was smoking his pipe while talking to a customer.

"Humans are as useful as any race. -That's- what I care about. As for paperwork... NO one comes to mind. I have my own book keepers, but I'd prefer not using them lest they become distracted and miss something. And as much as this venture may be fun, it won't eat into my own business." She smirked as she took a sip of wine. "I see nothing wrong with decentralization, though. Divide and conquer and all that military jargon."

Katyr snorted as he shook his head, "You're a real piece of work sometimes." He stated before sighing a bit as he tried to conjure up some names for someone who was good at those things before shrugging. "Well then if that's the case, this tavern the Legion's End is owned by a human, or a group of them its hard to say honestly, and he's a smuggler of good skill enough to get jobs from the Cartel and keep this place running. So we have that going for us. Alongside the Firehawk place and then yours the only real thing left is... People." Katyr gave her a deadpan expression before trying a usual quip for him.

"Maybe if you spread your legs for everyone we can recruit people quickly before they realize what happened!"

Bel makes a quick gesture with her hand. As she did a small knife whizzed past Katyr's head, embeding itself in the booth behind him. "You say that like I'm a common street whore. You're well aware of my preferences and proclivities. Regardless, I can handle people, it's my area of expertise. IN fact, I already know a few I could recruit. As long as you're alright with one of them being a confirmed rapist and the other... Well, let's say the other one is rather... scaley at times." October 23, 2017

"You know how I am about the dark side of the world. It exists and I'll beat anyone up who tries nonsense in my presence, as will a lot of folk. But I won't turn away able-bodied individuals especially those with talent." Katyr hadn't really reacted at the knife, knowing Bel to be the type to bluster a bit from their time as friends. "And yes I'm well aware, learn to take a joke friend! Gosh, years you've known me and yet you still can't handle me making loose sexual jokes." Katyr sighed unhappily before pointing at the barkeep.

"He's named Silver, he's the owner and the smuggler. There are others who I can contact and ask about helping. But he's going to be a good guy to have helping us if we use this place as a point of reference and pick up. We can then also use your place in Silvermoon and then the Firehawk Estate since its a small port of its own these days."

"And you know me well enough to know that's a bit of sore issue. Most of my rivals will seek any possible excuse to discredit me and -that's- what they usually settle on first." She pauses before bringing her glass to lips and finishing off the glass. "I'll talk to them, see if I can have the one keep it in her pants. And I'm well aware of who Silver is. We've had dealings in the past. Wasn't ever face to face, though. Mostly proxies. You know how the business is run."

Katyr shrugged only knowing about such things because he talked to people of that caliber. He himself wasn't the type to partake of many of these underworld dealings himself he just was a well experienced traveler. "Yes yes. You need to grow a stronger pair you know, if you want to get any bigger." He teased with a wink before relaxing and shrugging at her, his ears tilting towards the sudden sound of laughter before relaxing again.

"I guess now we just need to go and get these folk together and start gathering them all. Should we set a meeting date again later?"

Belindra shrugged. "It's less that I'm offended by it and more pissed because the simpletons can't think up anything better than 'That woman likes -other- women! How weird!'. It's quite tiresome." She shifts in her seat, finally uncrossing her legs. "I suppose we should. I'll let you know when I've procured my recurits. Though, that does leave one question: What is the name of this venture? After all, without an evocative name, we're dead in the water." October 25, 2017

"Name I've gotten squared away along with a lot of the entry details I guess. Well many of them were given to me this way." Katyr chuckled as he shook his head, "Let's not complain too much we are getting paid quite a hefty sum. Speaking of..." Katyr sighed and waved over at the bar at which point the man there came over. He brought with him a large sack of gold which he set in front of Belindra while sitting at the table between the two. "Afternoon. Silver, nice to meet ya both. Gonna be helpin'  I heard. But also gonna be a lot of the money guy."

Katyr sighed again and Silver winked. "I'm good at movin' gold so that's why I get to do it. Anyway here's your early salaray bonus. Think of it as an incentive I guess." Silver told Belindra with a grin.

As the bag of gold hit the table, Belindras hand immediately dug into grabbing a few coins from the bottom, pulling them up and inspecting them throughly with a keen eye for forgery. Content with the fact they were legitimate, the woman looks up at Silver and finally replies: "Pleasure finally doing business face to face, Silver." She pockets the coins as she turns back to to Katyr, "You have the name ready but aren't telling me? This bodes well..." she says, rolling a coin over her knuckles.

"Nah his little pea brain is dealin' with me showing up like this." Silver chuckled as he shrugged winking at Katyr before lounging back in his chair while the male elf groaned to himself and banging his head on the table before picking his head back up.

"God you're a piece of shit, Silver. Anyway no the name is Goldenguard Company but as Silver said had nothing to do with that and more to do with him being a noisy asshole." Katyr grinned at Bel to see how she'd feel about that.

"Noisy eh? You can be just as noisy where's lover boy, Alaric eh? You'd be trying to get in his pants like nobody's business." October 26, 2017

"Goldenguard Company," Belindra repeats, still flipping the coin over knuckles. "Goldenguard Company... I like it. Has an offical ring to it. Definately a good name that gives legitimacy. Much better than some of them names I heard proposed fro such groups. Gods, the amount of Orcish Merc groups that contain some combination of Blood, Axe, Scream, and Clan is downright -embarrasing..."

"I hear you on that," Katyr remarked, shrugging off Silver's antics as he considered her statement. "Take your time on picking up some folk and I'll work on putting together a quick set of jobs for them and such. Sound like a plan then I guess?" Katyr asked with a tilt of his head all but ignoring Silver who seemed fine with being ignored, at least right now. He was enjoying watching the two elves try and figure out what they were going to do about this deal they were being handed by his name-sake up north. The smuggler found this situation far too amusing to pass up not watching.

The rogueish woman opts to change her minor fidging, instead idly flipping the coin into the air instead of rolling it. "Sounds good to me. Like I said, I already have a few recruits in mind so the sooner I talk them into a truce and you pull together some jobs, the better. That said, I'm looking forward to working with the both of you." She states as she extends both hands toward Silver and Katyr. Curiously, the coin she had been flipping not a second ago is nowhere to be seen. Sneaky.

Both men turned their eyes to each other and snorted as Silver began to laugh after it. "Aye, it'll be fun workin' with you as well! Just don't let the fellas in Eversong give you too much trouble. They are the real roughnecks." Silver told Bel with a wink as he pushed off from the table to get back to work at the tavern. He was still the barkeep today and that meant he had work to do. Katyr for his part just sighed as he cracked his neck. "Well I'm off back to Kalimdor for a bit then I'll be back in Eversong. I'll come find you then?"

"You say that I don't deal with them multiple times per day as is!" Belindra says to Silver as he begins walking away. With that she turns back to Katyr, "I shall meet you there, partner." She simply says before her gaze returns to that sack of gold. "So, we splitting this or...?"

"No, that is your wage. Mine is just as much. Everyone basically gets paid about the same. Our bosses are rich, I told you they were nuts." He told Bel wondering if she would start to see what he meant by that and what they were dealing with as he got up, his hand going for his pack at the floor to shoulder it.

"No shit?" She says, gaze still locked on the bag. "This is a gold laundering scheme, isn't it?" She shrugs, taking the bag placing it in her own pack. "I suppose it doesn't matter. Gold's gold, plus, this entire thing can be used to further my own business..." In a quick blur of motion, Bel was standing, bag across her shoulder, the quick blur of motion seemed unnaturally fast. "I'll see you in Eversong here soon, then?"

"As far I have seen these guys are the furthest thing from a laundering operation. They look like they've fought more wars than some Orcs I've seen." Katyr murmured somberly and in a somewhat serious tone before shrugging. "That depends if I find a mage to help me get across the sea fast or if I'm daring enough to use a goblin or gnomish device beyond a Zepplin. So we'll see. I have a sneaking suspicion it'll be soon though." Katyr told her with a hum as he started for the door.

"And the other boss, Tyrael, he used to be a lord in Silvermoon but after the Scourge invaded he secluded himself in Eversong at his Estate and went into the merchant and real estate business. He's got really old money."

Bel didn't reply immediately, instead standing by the table and placing a few gold pieces on the table. A tip for some lucky barwench. However, as Katyr opened the door and stepped outside, Bel was leaning against the wall next to the door. "I know they types. I've bilked a -lot- of coin from them in the past." She nonchalantly says.

"Tyrael? I'm sure. The others? Maybe not. But we'll see! Anyway, I'll be catching my ride so I'll be seeing you Bel!" Katyr stated with a wave before disappearing into the crowds of the Booty Bay docks that surrounded the Legion's End tavern.

The raven haired woman watched as he slinto the crowd, disappearing. It wasn't much longer she, herself, was gone in the blink of an eye, returning home to do some prperations of her own.