#I leave 'this' up to your interpretation >.>
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mayakern Ā· 2 days ago
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I honestly donā€™t know how to write this; I have spent all week attempting to figure out what to say.
Last Monday I was informed by our factory that our merchandiser and direct point of contact with the factory passed away unexpectedly two weeks ago. She was someone who I have spent a great deal of time speaking to ever since we switched factories two years ago. She helped us realize designs for new products, sent us samples of garments extremely quickly and kept track of all our orders. She went to bat for us if something went wrong with our print shop or if I was unhappy with how a garment pattern was interpreted by their team. As their first American client and a brand that focuses on size inclusion, something that is not typical of their other clients, she handled a lot of crazy requests from us without blinking and she was dedicated to ensuring that both us and our customers were happy. We talked nearly every day, and though it was work related she was one of the kindest people I have had the pleasure interacting with daily.
She was beyond dedicated to her work and to working with us. Turkey has an 11-hour time difference from me in California, which means when she was emailing me at 2pm in the afternoon it was 1am there. You can sure bet that I extended her the same courtesy and tried my best to answer her emails at night too, even when I would rather just be sleeping.
It was also clear just how much she loved her job, and now much she loved you guys. She had been silently watching our social media since we first started working with them. She got just as excited as we did on launch days and would often email me unprompted about how she was glad people were leaving such positive comments and reviews. She read your feedback when no one ever asked her to do that or even expected it of her. She did it because she really, really cared.
Even though she was miles away and we never met in person, she was like a coworker to me and the loss of her is like losing someone on our team.
The Maya Kern team, as a whole, has been dealing with a lot lately. I personally just moved (which took far longer than we expected) and Maya and Devin are gearing up to move back to Minneapolis pretty soon. With the loss of our merchandizer, it has taken the wind out of my sails a little bit. I was trying to push through, even though I am exhausted, and carry out the photo shoot for our new products this weekend, but it has become clear that my body just canā€™t handle it. My arthritis has finally told me to stop moving, so unfortunately, we are going to have to reschedule the shoot for later on.
We are doing everything we can to make sure our next product drop on the 21st still happens. But as of right now, due to this sudden loss, the garments havenā€™t even shipped from the factory yet and I am not optimistic that they will clear customs and get checked into the fulfillment center in time for the launch. This means the drop is likely going to be pushed back to December 5th and instead of a full photo shoot, we will probably have to settle for taking quick photos of everyone at home, and likely with our phones.Ā 
We work really hard to deliver not just garments we believe in, but also pictures of said garments on bodies that our customers can relate to, and unfortunately I just do not think that is possible this time. As always, we really appreciate your patience and understanding during what has been a very difficult time for us.
Ash
Chief Operations Officer
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trashytracktales Ā· 3 days ago
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Hiii, Iā€™m not sure if your requests are open, but if they are, could you write something with Lando and Reader where they have been dating for just a few weeks, havenā€™t had sex yet. One day theyā€™re working out together at Landoā€™s house in Monaco (the room with the mirror from the video I Ate and Trained Like Lando Norris for 24 hours). Reader is doing squats with her back towards the mirror and Lando canā€™t help but stare at her ass and he gets hard / flustered so he stops from doing his exercise and reader asks him whatā€™s wrong and before he answers she realises heā€™s horny so she teases him - this time on purpose- and then they fuck in that room on the floor
In the heat of it | LNā“
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šŸ’Œ REQUESTED by anon ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ Thank you for trusting me enough to bring this to life, it was... something šŸ„µ
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š™š summary ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ They've been dating for a few weeks now, but the time was never right for them to get intimate. During a playful workout together, Lando gets caught staring, sparking a moment that leaves them both realizing just how deep their connection actually goes.
š™š pairing ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ Lando Norris x she/her reader
š™š rating ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ explicit
š™š category ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ F/M
š™š warnings ā”€ā”€ā”€ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ +18, mature/sexual content, fluff & smut, explicit language, unprotected sex, swearing, established relationship, suggestive/flirty behavior. MDNI!
š™š word count ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ 3.6k
š™š date ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ Nov. 12, 2024
š™š a/n ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ Enjoy watching Lando learn that some cardio sessions have unexpected side effects šŸ¤šŸŽ€
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IT DOESNā€™T TAKE long before Lando starts to regret his decision. It would have been much easier to invite his girlfriend to have lunch together. That would have saved him from a constant dry mouth and irregular heartbeat every time he feels her eyes accidentally landing on him.
The smooth floor and sophisticated equipment in his personal gym are softly bathed in the morning sun that seeps through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Monaco's streets are still peaceful at thisĀ hour, considering it's the middle of the week, and the port is sparkling in the sunlight.
The room usually has a subtle scent of cedar and rubber, fresh and energized, but now it carries a sweet honey scent, borrowed from her presence.
They are already halfway through their warm-up. Sheā€™s pulling a resistance band around her thighs, stretching before they dive into the heavier part of their routine, her focus completely on the exercises heā€™s walked her through. But, of course, a huge part of her focuses on how Lando touches her, purposely, to guide her when her posture doesn't match the exercise.
Even in simple gym shorts and a T-shirt, Lando somehow manages to look so effortlessly attractive ā€” curly hair a little messy, face flushed just enough from their recent sets, and his labored breathing after putting in the effort. Heā€™s all energy, fluid in his movements, though he's clearly trying to keep his pace casual.
ā€œLookinā€™ strong,ā€ he teases, flashing a grin as she adjusts her stance.
The girl shrugs, ā€œIā€™m just that good at following instructions. Although, I think having one of the best trainers in the area helps, too.ā€
Lando lets a chuckle out, ā€œI won't go easy on you just because you kiss-ass. But itā€™s cute to see you trying.ā€
Even though they have only been dating for a few weeks, there is an undeniable spark between them two, especially in a setting where every glance and skin-to-skin contact feels amplified by the intensity of their exercises. Her sports outfit leaves no room for interpretations, hugging her curves and defining her lines, and Lando's imagination is stimulated every time he turns his gaze towards her.
Heā€™s now down on the floor, holding a plank, his core engaged and muscles taut as he fights to hold his body up and spine straight. Sheā€™s supposed to be timing him, but the second he shoots her a cheeky grin, she decides she canā€™t resist a bit of fun; in her defense, he started it. With a simple touch, the seconds freeze on the screen of his phone, then she places it on one of the boxes stored in the corner of the room.
ā€œHi there,ā€ says the girl in a soft tone once she sits down in front of him just inches apart, propping herself up on her elbows so her face is level with his.
Lando raises his eyebrows, trying not to laugh as his shoulders shake slightly from the effort of holding his body weight. ā€œDonā€™t,ā€ he warns her, breath coming in controlled puffs.
ā€œIā€™m not doing anything,ā€ she smiles innocently, kicking her feet in the air while inching a little closer until her nose almost brushes his.
He laughs at her bad acting, his arms starting to shake a bit more. ā€œOutrageous is what you are.ā€
She pouts just as Lando dips his head down, managing to steal a playful kiss. Their lips meet briefly, soft and warm, before he pulls back up to maintain his form. It makes her sigh in frustration, the ghost of a kiss not nearly enough for her. If anything, it only leaves her wanting more.
Luckily, he doesnā€™t pull back when she cups his cheek in her palm, pressing her mouth on his once more, his giggles mixing with hers as he tries to keep his balance. Savoring the feel of his lips and the way Lando grunts softly into the kiss, she can feel that this one is more deeper and slower ā€” much real ā€” making her shiver. It seems as though everything else disappears, the feel of each other reminding them both why they decided to give the relationship a shot in the first place.
ā€œAnd you are so fun to corrupt,ā€ she admits, finally getting up to give Lando time to recover.
After a few sets, she finally moves onĀ to squats, and Lando follows her positioning herself in front of the mirror. It wasn't even supposed to be there, but he sometimes uses the gym as a storage room for random packages. This one, specifically, came in the mail a few weeks ago and he didn't have time to hang it in the hallway, where he initially planned. So, he simply let it rest against the wall in his gym room, and it's been there ever since. Forgotten.
Giving the circumstances, he is seriously thinking of leaving it there for good.
Conveniently, Lando decides that now is the perfect time to start his Russian twists, so he bends over to collect a dumbbell off the floor, then sits down on the yoga mat. Right in front of her.
Unaware of the effect she's having on him, he watches her go through each squat with his eyes trailing down on the reflection of her ass in the mirror, an intenseĀ warmth spreading over him as he tries to focus on his own exercise. It is quite innocent ā€” he's just respectfully looking ā€” until it isn't. Until he feels it in his boxers. Until he almost drops the dumbbell, which catches her attention.
Lando tries to ignore it, though, to nonchallantly brush it off,Ā telling himself that it's natural and that he's justĀ admiringĀ her physical appearance. Anyone in his shoes would do it. However, his thoughts start toĀ wander, images flashing uninvited as his heart rate quickens for reasons far beyond the exercise.
ā€œAre you okay down there, hotshot? What are you fighting?ā€ she asks curiously, raising her head just enough to catch the dazed look on Landoā€™s face.
Her voice pulls him back, his breath catching for a moment, ā€œYeah, never better.ā€
It's his husky voice that gives it away. Right after, she notices a lingering gaze, and the soft pink creeping across his features as his eyes are fixed ahead. She stops, fixing her posture and straightening her back as she turns to catch his gaze in the mirror. She realizes exactly what's going on in a matter of seconds, a little grin forming in the corner of her mouth.
ā€œAm I too dictracting, Lando?ā€ she purrs, her question ā€” and the fact that he knows she caught him in act ā€” not helping at all.
ā€œNo,ā€ he lies, ā€œBut I think youā€™re killing it with those squats.ā€
ā€œAnd if I turn around to finish my set, what then?ā€ she whispers, a challenge glinting in her eyes as she brushes the tip of her tongue against her lower lip.
His breath is shallow the moment he decides to abandon his exercise. ā€œThen you would be killing me,ā€ he admits with no restraints. ā€œSo, by any means, proceed. Please.ā€
She glances over to see Lando lying flat on his back, one arm draped dramatically over his eyes, as if he's in serious pain. His other hand is splayed over his stomach, fingers tapping a nervous rhythm. Itā€™s still funny to see him like that, but then she notices the way his chest rises and falls a bit too fast, and her eyes drift lower, catching a glimpse of the growing bulge in his shorts, an unmistakable proof of what sheā€™s actually doing to him.
Suddenly, all the amusement disappears from her face, being replaced by a warmth that wraps around her neck, and rising to her cheeks. Her heart is slowly starting to race, small impulses between her thighs forcing her to close them together.
Swallowing hard, she crosses the small space to kneel beside him, gently pulling his arm away from his eyes. His lashes flicker open, meeting her gaze with a mix of embarrassment and desire. And so much lust.
ā€œHow can I help you?ā€ asks Lando, his voice rougher than usual, trying to keep things light, though the hint of vulnerability shows in his eyes, and it's not that hard to read.
She chuckles nervously, ā€œThe question is how can I help you?ā€
In response, Lando uses the same hand to wrap his fingers around her neck, pulling her in for a kiss. She feels his hand squeezing a little, the other one moving to her waist, hesitating before pulling her completely on top of him, without breaking the kiss. His tongue slips firmly into her mouth, just as it has done so many times before, but now it feels somehow different. Somehow, they both know that the kiss is meant to lead to something much more intense, because there's nothing stopping them anymore.
In the intimacy of his apartment, without interruption, Lando lowers his hands to her waist, rubbing her against him. Slowly. Repeatedly. The pressure forces them to moan in unison ā€” a brief taste of the pleasure they are about to share. His hands then drop lower, roaming over her thighs, then back down to her ass, cupping it in his large palms.
He breaks away just enough to murmur, his voice low and almost reverent, ā€œThat enough of an answer?ā€
ā€œPositive,ā€ she replies, feeling his breath hitch as she shifts on top of him, straddling his hips, her hands splaying over his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath her fingertips.
Her lips find his again, sweet and intoxicating, each kiss sending sparks to her core. The new position makes her feel him much more firmly between her legs, taking Lando by surprise when her hand lowers to cover his length, massaging him through the thin material of his shorts.
ā€œFucking hell,ā€ his lips stutter against hers, while rocking his hips into her touch.
ā€œYeahā€¦ā€ she agrees, breathing hotly above him, ā€œDid I do this to you?ā€
Before Lando gets a chance to even think of an answer, she slips her hand under the elastic band of his boxers, taking him in her hand, feeling him in his entirety ā€” deliciously soft skin, warm and ready, and so painfully hard.
It makes her ache for him.
She pumps his cock in her hand a few times, enough for her to feel how he shifts under her. It takes her a lot of self-control to stop herself from taking him in her mouth the second she hears his sweet little panting, her thumb rubbing softly over his swollen tip.
The workout itself had left Landoā€™s muscles burning, but her touch itā€™s something else entirely, igniting a heat in him that burns deeper than anything heā€™s felt before. Five more minutes enjoying the same high and he can give up cardio completely. Guaranteed.
Slowly coming back to his senses, Lando realizes that he has free will, so he slips his hands under her sports bra, palming her hungrily until he feels her nipples hardening under his touch. He breaths heavily as he rolls them between his fingers, managing to make her respond with a soft meowl, her grip on his cock losening.
That's his cue to take the lead, pulling her bra over her head in a quick move, and flipping their bodies over so that now he's hovering above her, eyes filled with need while looking down at her.
ā€œHi there,ā€ Lando copies her tone from earlier, feeling a little fraction of the power she had over him.
She wants to talk back so badly ā€” one of her sarcastic little comments that she knows he loves ā€” but all she can do is let out a pathetic whimper between her lips when his mouth finds home on her bare breast. At that, Lando feels a shiver running down his spine, looking up at how she closes her eyes in pleasure, arching her back more against his mouth.
ā€œDriving me insane with your pretty ass, baby,ā€ he says, breathing heavily, managing to cover her body in a thin layer of goosebumps, ā€œAnd your pretty fucking nipples.ā€
ā€œLandoā€¦ā€ she lets another cry slip out, opening her eyes to look at him.
The image that greets her makes her breath catch in her throat. The way he sucks on her nipple while playing with the other one, and the way he looks up at her through his eyelashes ā€” itā€™s all too much. She ends up wrapping her legs around his waist, pulling him down with her. Then she runs her hands down his back, tugging at the edge of his shirt, tossing the useless material carelessly to the floor before pulling him closer for another kiss.
Mouth to mouth, chest to chest, skin on skin ā€” who says heaven isn't real?
But if that's heaven, then what can she name the feeling she gets the moment his hand slips into her gym shorts and his fingers brush against her soaked entrance? Because it feels way too fucking good ā€” much better than she expected, and certainly much better than her own hand whenever she pictured his face while fingering herself.
Lando starts slowly at first, spreading her wetness around her pussy, then fucking his fingers in and out, while cautiously watching her facial expressions changing. Itā€™s not taking him long before finding that sweet, sweet spot that makes her roll her hips into his hand, desperation painted all over her face.
ā€œLanā€¦ yes,ā€ she starts panting, ā€œThatā€™sā€”yes, right there.ā€
He hums proudly, sealing his mouth to hers, while parting her thighs with his knee so he can spread her more in front of him. Feeling herself open to his touch, so easy and wet, he no longer feels self-conscious about the way she's so quickly tunring him boneless under her gaze. He realizes that the feeling is mutual, and it makes him want her even more.
If that's even possible.
The sound of his fingers repeatedly fucking into her is all that anchors her in the present moment, but the second Lando feels her squeezing around them, he stops so he can silently ask for her permission to take the last piece of her clothing off.
She nods in a rush, swallowing the lump in her throat in anticipation.
Every inch of her is now bathed in the soft, golden light streaming through the window. Warm shadows are cast along her curves, the light outlining each delicate contour of her body as though the sun itself is painting her in real time. The image is so powerful yet vulnerable as she stands there, her figure glimmering with an almost unearthly serene confidence. Lando is utterly captivated by how ethereal she looks, like a goddess come to life, the kind he never imagined he would be close enough to even touch, let alone enjoy. He feels like heā€™s witnessing something sacred, something so incredibly rare, and the awe he feels is mixed with gratitude that sheā€™s here with him, letting him see her in a such perfect lighting.
ā€œYouā€™re so fucking beautiful,ā€ Lando finally manages to say, hoping that he hasn't started drooling all over her in the meantime. ā€œAll of you.ā€
ā€œYour turn,ā€ she says in a muffled voice, slightly bashful at the way he stares at her like he wants to devour her. Which is not far from the truth.
He agrees that it's a fair request, realizing that the only thing separating them now are his own shorts. Without protesting ā€” because that would be so fucking dumb considering how hard he is ā€” Lando gets rid of them with the speed of a perfect qualifying lap.
Matching the same pace, Landoā€™s hands slide around her waist, his fingers pressing gently into her hips as he guides them both to the side so they can face the window ā€” or that's what she thought. Confused at first, she's frowning at him, then follows his gaze, lost in the direction of their reflection, understanding immediately what he really wants ā€” a show. A show just for them, in which they can lose themselves together, without limits.
She sighs at the sight of their hot, naked bodies, the way he aligns himself with her, and how heā€™s finally pushing inside, enough to hear her whimper. She watches as he stands above her, his hands gliding slowly over her sides, up her arms, grounding her in his touch. The image of them together, framed in the soft glow of the room, feels surreal ā€” so intimate and vulnerable in a way thatā€™s completely new for both of them.
Lando pauses, pulling out at her little whimper, then pressing back in, but just the tip.
ā€œFuck, baby,ā€ he whispers, ā€œYou're so fucking wet it keeps slipping out,ā€ adds Lando in a low tone, so turned on that it makes her clench around his head.
To her frustration, the speed at which Lando pushes back inside might as well be negative, causing her to explode with how needy she becomes in the meantime. But just as sheā€™s about to encourage him to sink further, he buries himself to the hilt in one powerful thrust.
ā€œLanā€¦ā€ she says as she wraps her arms around his shoulders, ā€œYouā€¦ feel so good,ā€ she takes a moment to breath into his skin, then she turns her head to catch their reflection once again.
Lando is already looking, and when they make eye contact through the mirror, he starts fucking her slowly and gently, as if he could break her.
ā€œSee how silly you look for thinking we won't match?ā€ he sounds so amazed by how easily she opens up for him, over and over again, with each steady thrust of his hips, ā€œSee that? Taking all of me so well, baby.ā€
ā€œLando,ā€ she cries out at the way his cock throbs against her walls, because she knows it's way too slow, even for him.
It's simply agonizing.
ā€œSo perfect around me,ā€ he states, ā€œCan't believe I lasted that long. Should've fucked you from the first night.ā€
At this point, he's just rambling, but the thought makes her stomach tie in a knot.
ā€œYou would've let me, wouldn't you?ā€
ā€œYes,ā€ she speaks, already drunk on the way he feels inside her, ā€œI would have let you fuck me in the plane bathroom, on the way to Imola. And back in your driver's room, when Oscar caught us kissing. And last week, outside the clubā€¦ Fuck. I wanted you to fuck me there so bad.ā€
His mind goes blank with all the lost opportunities, causing him to gradually increase his pace, the sound of them connecting so obscene.
ā€œWhā€”ā€ he almost chokes on words, ā€œWhy didn't you say anything?ā€
ā€œYouā€”stressed about work. Iā€¦ I didn't want to beā€”distraction,ā€ she tightens her legs around him, keeping him inside her, the words losing their meaning as Lando shifts his position, wrapping his arm around her thigh to open her up even more for him. "Like that, mhm, yes!"
ā€œYou're so tight, fuck,ā€ he swallows hard as he squeezes roughly at her thighs. ā€œI'm so close.ā€
She knows that will leave marks on her skin, but nothing beats the pleasure of having Lando fucking himself so deep inside her, that her vision starts clouding.
All common sense went out the window the moment she stepped through his door, anyway.
She can feel his breath warm against her neck, hear the soft hitch in his breathing as he leans in, his lips brushing her shoulder, never breaking eye contact with her in the mirror. Lando's hands are making their way to cup her ass, pulling out all the way, before fucking back in, all over again, until he finds the perfect rhythm between their bodies. He moans loudly, pressing his upper body on her, their scents blending together and sweat transferring from skin to skin. They move so in sync, completely attuned to each other, and the sight of their shared pleasure, reflected back at them, turns everything into fireworks, her mind completely empty. Except for how well she's being fucked.
ā€œLanā€”Lando,ā€ she's so close to sobbing that she shuts her mouth at the sound of her voice, thinking it's too pathetic to whine as she cums around him, her release dripping all over between their bodies.
The wet sound her pussy makes gives Lando way to fuck in deeper, taken by surprise that she finished without any warnings. He grips her ass one more time before he stills inside her, his cock throbbing, and pulls out right before he starts leaking, resting his cock against her thigh, his entire length coated in her release. His cum drips from his tip to her inner thigh, making him groan while he fixes his gaze on the mirror at the image of them.
She buries her fingers in his curls after he finally collapses on top of her, their heavy breaths echoing throughout the room. With his head on her chest, he can feel her heart racing, gradually slowing down, and lets out a soft laugh as she shifts a little under him.
ā€œWe're so fucking matching, baby. Let's gooo!ā€ exclaims Lando, exhaust evident in his voice.
She feels her cheeks warm, ā€œI think youā€™re a little biased right now,ā€ she jokes.
Lando shifts slightly so he can see her face, brushing a thumb tenderly along her side. He smiles softly, the usual spark in his eyes softened by something deeper, so gentle.
ā€œI'm just happy.ā€
Her heart flutters, and she feels him sink even closer to her, threading his fingers through hers.
ā€œAnd very sweaty,ā€ she adds with a chuckle.
ā€œI'm pretty sure that's you,ā€ he teases, letting the moment pass slowly, then calling out her name in a serious voice.
ā€œMhm?ā€ she hums while turning to look in the mirror, watching him getting comfortable on top of her.
ā€œWhere do we go from here?ā€ asks Lando.
ā€œYour bedroom, I hope. The floor is killing my back.ā€
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Thank you for reading!
None of my works are available for reposting on other platforms. Reblogs, likes, and comments are deeply appreciated ā™„ļøŽ
Ā© trashy track tales, 2024
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razzbunny Ā· 3 days ago
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The fact that OP mentions RSD specifically is what really gets me, Like bringing up RSD in the kind of situation described would make it more clear that the person you yelled at isn't at fault than saying some shit like "I felt really attacked and overwhelmed" like yeah that describes how you were feeling but that doesn't give an explanation on why you felt that way? Leaving it vague just gives more room for interpretation that even though your sorry for yelling it's still the fault of the other person that you felt bad enough to get upset about it when it's most likely something small that only got you because of your RSD kicking in.
Also yeah don't treat a Disabled Person explaining that something happened because of their disability as an "excuse"
If they can't control it than how the fuck are they supposed to explain or apologize without bringing it up.
Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.
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l-artemisia-del-secolo Ā· 2 days ago
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You almost missed the meeting regarding the new exhibit. You had to validate a few showpieces. Books mostly this time. On one of them... what was it... runes... Red cover with rubies, one could think it was painted with blood itself.
Your own reflection in the stones was teasing you. This object was powerful, it was alluring, it was dangerous. You didn't notice how others left.
You were left with the book in the storage. Who created it and why? You were not new to artifacts of presumed witchcraft. But this... it was different. As if the blood on the cover was instantly flowing changing the shades.
Oh, it was one of those days. Time didn't matter.
"Fascinating, isn't it?"
"Oh yes, it is." You didn't even look up. "Have never seen anything like this."
"Oh, I did. A very long time ago. This book belonged to ruthless people."
"What?"
She was a foreigner in this brightly lit room. Nonchalantly sitting in one of those uncomfortable chairs. When did she come in?
"We need to close the storage. All your colleagues left a few hours ago."
Hours? Really? What was she even talking about? You checked your phone. A few missed calls and messages.
Brunette was smiling at your confusion.
"Have we met before?"
"No, I'm instead of Jeff."
"What happened? I saw him yesterday."
"Oh..." Brunette was kinda lost for an instant. "He had to leave. You know. Another department. My name's Rio".
She stood up and very officially offered you her hand.
"Pleased to meet you. My name's..."
"I know everything about you."
Rio was still holding your hand. Maybe you did see her before. Those green eyes. They were mesmerising.
______
A few days passed. You didn't have time to examine the book, but you kept thinking about it. Weirdly your thoughts were coming back to it. In what circumstances something like this could be created? What was written there?
You wanted to feel that book again. Sharp edges and ancient pages.
From the book your mind wandered to the stranger. You asked your colleagues. They knew Jeff was gone, but who was instead of him - no idea. You wanted to see her again. you wanted to lose yourself in those gentle touches again.
___
A few more days. You were giving a lecture. Confident and charming you were in your element. Until you noticed those green eyes amongst the audience. Rio was catching your every move, your every word.
"You were amazing." Brunette caught you after the class. "Truly a master of your craft."
"Well, I do have a certain area of expertise."
"What a tease."
Oh, now you were definitely blushing.
"I haven't seen you at the museum." You tried to find a more safe subject.
"I was busy with other projects. I'm kinda like a consultant for confused people."
You nodded. Why was looking at you like this? As if expecting something, as if waiting for the answer.
"Well, you did find the time for the lecture."
"I found the time for the lecturer."
"I appreciate both the time and the effort."
"Yeah, you have no idea how determined I can be."
Rio winked at you. She was busy, she had to go. She chose to leave you with just a hint of satisfaction.
"Oh, and the book., It is waiting for you."
____
Rio was right. You had to concentrate on your work. Exhibit was approaching, your input was needed. You were spending more and more time with the remains of the old times. You were spending more and more time with that damned book. Those runes were not known to you. As the symbols. Looked like an interpretation of the maiden-mother-crone myth, but there was a green halo around them.
"You need coffee."
That wasn't a question. With Rio nothing was.
"Thanks." You took a sip "Oh, double espresso. How did you know?"
"Had a feeling, you like it... intense."
"Sure."
"So..." Rio nudged your shoulder to get all the attention she always required. "How is this thing going?"
"Good."
"And this?" She pointed at the book.
"Waiting for the answer from a few colleges."
"Well, I'm sure the answer is going to be fascination. But..." She took your phone and bag without asking. "you need to be someplace else."
___
Why did you even let her command? You just blinked and suddenly you were near an old theater.
"Magic show?"
Rio had tickets for the first row.
"What can I say? I was always fond of illusions."
It was noticeable. She was cheering even for the simplest tricks. She adored theatricality and tension. Except for maybe the tricks that involved cheating death. Yeah, Rio huffed in annoyance a few times.
"Well, this is not how I expected my evening to go."
Street was completely silent. You and Rio were the only ones who decided to enjoy the autumn night.
"I can tell you how all the tricks worked."
Oh, for sure Rio knew.
"It's your hobby?"
"Let's say, I've seen these shows quite a few times."
"That would destroy all the magic part of the performance, don't you think?"
Rio stopped, snapped her fingers and in the other hand a flower appeared.
"Oh, you're smooth." You laughed at the present. "So, you're into tricks."
"No, I'm more into magic."
______
It was a book of protective spells. It was supposed to save from evil and wrong, from hungry and desperate. And not protect, it was supposed to hide from the sight of darkness. Someone was supposed to be hidden in the blood of the killed. You spend hours trying to find the recipient of this protection.
"Well, that's an interesting observation." Rio put her legs on the table. You were having a dinner at your office. "Amazing."
"I'm glad you're happy with my research."
"I truly am. Do you know how those spells are supposed to be activated."
"I assume by the blood of the protected."
"Yeah, guess it could work." Rio shrugged. "Witches were never that imaginative."
It became some kind of a routine. At the beginning you didn't see Rio at all. But now she was always near. With lunches, coffees, books and affection. And whatever she was calling magic.
Rarely you could feel comfortable with someone so close. For years you preferred to be on your own. It just never clicked with anyone. But Rio... she knew you. Your tastes, your dreams, your desires. Her affection was a given, just a fact that you stumbled into. It was a weird feeling. Like you were continuing to live something you never had.
____
"I don't think you're doing it right."
You could feel Rio was close. Her hair was almost tickling your neck. There was no need for her to stay right behind you. But it apparently was the best spot to watch you translating the text.
"You're being a little distractive, Rio."
"How? I'm helping. This sign here. It clearly doesn't mean death."
"Well, that's a woman with a skull instead of a face."
"I'd say she's more about the natural order of things.'
"Maybe."
___
You were working more, you were sleeping less. You were distracted. Your dreams changed, in them you could freely read the spells. Voices without purpose were helping you. Sometimes even Rio couldn't have you all for herself.
"I brought you something."
"Huh?"
Rio was holding a dagger. Black stones, same runes.
"Just don't play with it often."
"Where did you get this?"
"It was here all the time. Kinda lost in the mess."
"Yeah."
You didn't care whether she was lying or not. Was it the other part of the story? Was it the threat or help?
You took it. Heavy with cold and sharp with pain it fit your hand properly.
"Every witch was supposed to have such a dagger." Rio took the knife. "Usually it was carved with the symbols of a greater entity, You know for protection."
She was holding your hand, caressing the palm with the cold of a steel. Still dangerous, still deadly. You didn't dare to look at her movements.
"And what entity protected this blade?"
"I think you know. You read the spells."
You could feel your skin almost succumbing to the blade. But it was so much more unbearable to have Rio so close. She was the perfection itself. You didn't care about the blade, you leaned into her.
"Fuck." you muttered under your breath. But it was too late. Your blood was spilled.
You were her prey, Rio pushed and you and the blade cut deeper, but you didn't care. She was kissing you, she was hurting you.
Dagger fell on the floor. Without breaking the kiss Rio guided your hands to the support of the table. Your wound touched the book.
Suddenly the pain shot through your whole body. You wanted to scream, but Rio didn't let you. Holding you, making you feel her passion, brunette was only deepening the kiss.
You opened your eyes. The room was on fire. Games of the primal flame were everywhere. Everything was melting away. Instead another reality was forming.
You groaned into the kiss. It was familiar. It took all the strength you had to push Rio away. She was breathing heavily.
"What the..." you looked at your palm. It was healed. "What... what happened..."
Those voices were right. Rio. It was all because of Rio.
"It was the only way..."
Her voice was trembling. You heard this already. Her plea, her apology.
"I know you." You took the book from the table. Now those spells made sense. "Rio Vidal."
"I thought... " She was choking on her regret and doubt. "I thought I wouldn't be able to find you."
"I remember..."
Rio gently touched your cheek. You didn't feel it. Suddenly there was a wall with the thickness of centuries.
"My love..."
"It was always you, wasn't it?" Your fingers were tingling. "You were always the reason."
"I don't..."
"They died because of you."
"What? No."
You grabbed her wrist. You were strong, stronger than you remembered. Purple magic was pouring from your veins. It didn't let Rio move.
"Because of you all those people were dead. You attacked innocents."
"No."
"My coven tried to hunt you. And in return you destroyedĀ others."
'"No, no, no. These are not your memories. It's an illusion your coven gave you."
You pushed her. Rio was the plague. You remembered it. Your sisters warned you.
"I will banish you from here."
Rio didn't even think about defending herself. She needed to let you be closer.
You grabbed her by the throat. Rio only obeyed. You needed to cut out her black heart.
You waved and the dagger appeared in your hand. You were calling for your weapon. It returned to the magic that created it. But the second you were ready to swing, it burned you.
You were holding the same knife Rio gave you. It wasn't possible. Your enemy was protecting you.
"No. It's not true..."
Yes, you didn't remember. But what if... you were holding a piece of your old life. Rio was in every cell of your body. How long were you like this? How long were you far from her? You were still washed over by hate. But not because of Rio. No, you couldn't hurt her.
"I can help you..."
You shook your head in disbelief and disappeared in purple smoke.
_____
You didn't know where to go. The life you remembered wasn't yours, just as a life you were living for the last who knew how many years.
Your sisters betrayed you, they were not the only ones. Such strong magic required the assistance of the sorcerer supreme.
It doesn't matter what you were thinking about, you alwaysĀ were coming back to Rio. She saved you, she broke the spell. But if she was the one lying. What if she forged the blade? No, no, not possible. Not your Rio. Your Rio? What these weeks meant for you? Were you in love?
Not only your head, your blood was boiling with magic. You forgot this feeling. You were trying to control the shaking in your hands but it was just getting worse.
"Rio." you whispered.
"Yes, my love."
She appeared in front of you. Her crown was glowing in the dark. No point in playing pretend anymore.
"This blade belongs to me."
Rio nodded.
"You're the entity that is protecting me."
Nod again.
"What happened?"
"They wanted to separate us. They were afraid that you would have special treatment. And with that become too powerful for them to handle."
"Special treatment?"
"Yes." Rio hesitated. "You were the only one who could have my... favor."
"I don't understand."
"You could be invincible. I wouldn't let anything happen to you. You were one of the more powerful wielders of magic. And that was a dangerous combination. So they hid you. Sealed you in the book. It took me centuries to find you."
Your heart was aching. If it was true, your life was taken by those whom you considered family.
"And we..." You blinked away a memory. "Did we ever have a garden?"
"Oh, yes." Rio dared to come closer. "I created a pocket dimension for us. Just us. We could do whatever we wanted."
"I also remember that Rio is not your only name."
She was dreading this moment. For her only hope was left. But for you it was finally the beginning. Not the memories, but affection was guiding you. All those memories of Rio's betrayal. You had to trust your heart. Hate wasn't yours, it wasn't real.
Ā Yes, it was the truth. It was always Rio. The only thing you wanted was for her to be your reason for existence. And it only could be explained with memories that you couldn't fathom.
You were gravitating towards her. It was easier for you to believe in the ghost of ancient love than lose Rio. Your Rio.
"No, it's not."
For the first time Rio wasn't looking you in the eyes. You had to lift her chin. She was barely breathing, she was barely even functioning, waiting for your sentence. Regal entity reduced to a mortal.
"I'm in love with Rio, but Lady Death..." You pulled her into a kiss. This time your powers entwined with the glow being almost unbearable toĀ be around. "...is a part of me."
"I will help you remember. I will help you return everything they've stolen from you."
"Oh yes." You smiled into her skin. "Right after I punish those who separated us."
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rizsu Ā· 16 hours ago
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źŖ†ą­§ ā”€ā”€ WISH UNATTAINABLE ā”Š A MERE DREAM ļ¹‘ HSR ā¤æ starring: boothill ā—Ÿ sunday ā—Ÿ dr. ratio.
ź’° a player's mission ļ¹¢ ding! quest(s) unlocked. to obtain a reward of 100 stellar jades, knock yourself out with missions involving your favourite! don't get caught up in the dream though.
š–§· Ā· love, ā€˜su: i clearly had an idea & needed to jot it down before i forgot about it (old draft i wrote when i js was fresh into hsr bear w me šŸ˜¢)
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COSMIC SPLENDOR AND MERITED PRAISES āŸ” siobhanā€™s revealed that someone's here for you, insisting for you to not be a killjoy and come meet him.
ā€œdrink's on me sweetheart, knock ya'self out,ā€ boothill slides the cocktail at you, giving his signature smirk as its free side dish.
you're not quite sure what you expected, but boothill being a bartender wasn't one of them. actually ā€” it's believable when you think about it.
when siobhan sent you those messages, your mind went to either gallagher or aventurine. (un)fortunately, your guess was wrong. you are now a taste-tester and subjected to subtle flirting? a win is a win.
boothill puts a hand on his hip. he mixed the drink gracefully with siobhan's aid, it's bound to be perfect ā€” hopefully.
ā€œwhat's it called?ā€ you asked, turning the glass around to appreciate the red and orange ombre. it reminds you of someone, but you can't put a finger on it.
ā€œdidn't think that far into it.ā€ he shrugs. ā€œyou can name it, sweetheart.ā€
ā€œi can name it sweetheart?ā€
ā€œno, i meant... well, why the fuck not.ā€
you're sure you heard a disappointed sigh from him. maybe it's the alcohol? whatever, it tastes good. the drink's sweet, but it leaves a bitter aftertaste ā€” if that makes sense. it's so sweet that you keep sipping, yet it's so bitter that you're reminded it's alcohol and not juice. a perfect balance.
gently placing the glass down, you slid it towards boothill, ā€œanother glass please, gentleman.ā€
ā€œright away, darlinā€™,ā€ he accepts your request, refilling your glass with the sweetheart special. this time, he adds a little edible glitter in the mix to spice up the aesthetic.
the glass is once again slid back to you. the only difference is a shine to the liquid. the new beauty to it can make even argenti fall to his knees to worship it (he worships anything beautiful).
ā€œit's so good i can kiss you for it,ā€ you mindlessly reply, licking your lips from the excess liquid.
goodness, do you want him to overheat? is the way to defeat a galaxy ranger a compliment without thought put into it?!
ā€œpfftā€” uhā€” wellā€”ā€ he sputters, unable to form a proper sentence yet.
a few coughs later, he regains his ability to speak, ā€œit's just that good ain't it, darlinā€™?ā€
ā€œyou're the best and i need you in the express to make fifteen of these,ā€ with desperation in your voice, you lean over to hold his hand. it's cold, but not cold enough to make you back away.
ā€œi'll be right with ya!ā€
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THE INTERPRETATION OF DREAMS āŸ” you received an anonymous message urging you to come to penacony. it felt like a scam, but the messages were too prim and proper to be one.
hmm, something isn't right. you can feel it in your bones. either you're experiencing side effects of being on cleaning duty, or you're being hunted down. has your excellence finally exceed you to the point where you've appeared on someone's hitlist? maybe.
staring at the message on your phone, you squint at it before moving your head away. you must be careful or else you'd be affected by its ominous energy.
there's only one logical decision to make: find dan heng and let him decipher a possible hidden code in the messages.
ā€œdan heng, i need you!ā€ you exclaimed, opening his room's door with a force that should only be reserved for battles.
ā€œdid you clean your manners out too?ā€ sighing, dan heng closes the book he's reviewing.
ā€œi think i'm being kidnapped,ā€ ignoring his snarky comments, you enter his room, showing him the pile of messages.
> Hello, (y/n). I trust that you've been well during your trips.
> Have you decided on whether you'll return to Penacony? If not, I hope that you come soon.
> There is something I wish to do with you.
> Meet me at The Reverie Hotel 10 system hours from when you reply. I shall accompany you directly instead of a regular staff.
> That is all. I'll keep the conversations for our meeting.
you shake your head, hugging your body in attempts to shield yourself.
ā€œsee! there's no way that isn't someone out to get me.ā€
dan heng falls silent. clearly, this is someone you've met before, but who? they haven't left any name, let alone a profile icon. there's only one way to find out and that's to reply.
ā€œhand me your phone, i'll reply.ā€
...
have you been deceived? is dan heng in on this too? why would he reply? suspicion dominates over you. you slowly back away from his side.
ā€œdamn... they really do say your enemies are close.ā€
ā€œthat's now how it... whatever. just give me the phone so i can ask for their identity.ā€ his tone's laced with disappointment. he's not surprised, but boy was he wrong for thinking you matured.
being left with no other choice, you surrender your phone and safety to him.
< Sorry, who are you?
< I'm sure we've met though.
ā€œthey're typing...ā€ he mutters, leaning into your side so you can see the screen too.
> My apologies. I forgot to set my account.
> This is Sunday, head of the Oak Family.
ā€œsunday?!ā€
ā€œsunday!?ā€
this time you both were taken by surprise. out of everyone in penacony that would've sent you a text, he was the least expected. dan heng shoots you a pitiful look. he's pretty sure sunday's still on your hitlist.
ā€œi am not going.ā€
ā€œit's rude to ignore someone's request.ā€
ā€œdan heng,ā€ you began, folding your arms across your chest, ā€œyou can't make me go.ā€
in response dan heng simply nods. he walks out his room and into the main area. you're not sure what he did, but he came back to you lounging on his bed in five minutes.
you were already comfortable, with one knee up and a foot on the knee. you expected him to come back, but not with a trusted adult.
ā€œare you serious?ā€
ā€œhimeko, (y/n)'s ignoring someone's request to meet.ā€
one corner of his mouth moves up. he knows he won this battle. snitching is the way to go, always.
and that's how you're now standing besides sunday. all stiff with nervous laughs, praying to whichever aeon that he doesn't use the telepathy punishment thing on you. it's game over and restart if he ever dares to.
sunday's as poise as ever ā€” with a hand behind his back, he observes the view of oti mall below. it's bustling with life; the noise is enough to do all the talking. truly a one-sided comfortable silence.
ā€œso... how's life been, sunday?ā€ you tread carefully with your question and behaviour. you don't even make eye contact.
sunday smiles slightly, ā€œit's been busy as ever. this is probably the only moment of peace in my schedule.ā€
and it's silent again. how do you continue a conversation with a bigshot? you ran your mouth with the supreme guardian of belobog but god forbid you're with the head of the oak family. scary.
cold sweat drops. you have got to keep the conversation going or you'll lose your mind in seven minutes.
ā€œbeen getting into gambling with the slot machines lately. what about you?ā€
perfect. ten out of ten. a penacony-related addiction.
ā€œi see you've picked up that ipc stoneheart's behaviour.ā€
okay, maybe it wasn't that perfect. and was that disappointment?!
it's silent again. you steal a glance of sunday and it did not help. he has a relaxed expression on his face. his chest rising and falling with every breath. is he truly comfortable with the silence? you're dying here.
a sigh leaves you. why not just speak your mind.
ā€œto be honest, it's a little uncomfortable being so silent. i feel like i'm being watched by that large eye in the mall.ā€
sunday's head turns, his expression slightly changes.
ā€œapologies, i did not notice. would you like to take a walk together?ā€ he suggests, holding his palm out to you.
you place your hand in his, trying to hide the smile. you're finally going to do something instead of standing like an npc.
ā€œyeah, sure.ā€
after your approval, you basically re-toured penacony. he even took you to his office. that's not even the biggest part. the huge wow factor here is that you were hand-in-hand with him. yes, hands intertwined with the most handsome man in penacony. someone should be jealous.
although his hand was gloved it still counts. the gloves are thin anyway ā€” it was basically skin contact. had you known beforehand that sunday's hand was this manly you wouldn't have even complained to dan heng.
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COSMIC SPLENDOR AND MERITED PRAISES āŸ” herta bothered you to return to her station, insisting that she needs your help. you reluctantly agreed, but didn't expect to meet the doctor you've been hitting on.
> Come. I need to experiment on you.
< Excuse me?!?
> Aeon stuff.
< Which Aeon is it?
< Herta?
< Hellooooo... Anyone there...?
> [Automatic reply] Hi, I'm currently unavailable, and won't be contacting you later.
< You've got to be kidding me.
> [Automatic reply] Hi, I'm currently unavailable, and won't be contacting you later.
a heavy sigh leaves you. new day, same old herta demanding your presence and going off the net. well, it's been a while since you've revisited herta's space station, and it doesn't hurt gaining new knowledge on aeons. hopefully it'd be quick... and that screwllum's there as well. out of the three, screwllum's the sole one that's gentle.
once you stepped foot in her office, you stepped right back out. seeing someone you've been avoiding to reply to their messages certainly isn't a good thing. the chances of the man you were testing your charisma on being with herta is low ā€” incredibly low ā€” but never zero.
ā€œcome here, (y/n).ā€ a voice filled with authority calls for you who's standing to the side of the door.
you purposefully chose that position; since the doors are automatic, they'd immediately open if you were directly in front of it.
ā€œno, thanks!ā€ you yelled, preferring to stay where its safe from confrontations.
inside the office, herta folds her arms. the clock is ticking, and she doesn't want to lose interest before she can glimpse the secret of at least one aeon.
ā€œjust go get her. what're you standing there for?ā€
with a tone as blunt as that, ratio feels slightly offended, but he can't argue. she's right, he can simply bring you back inside the office.
confidentally walking towards the door, he steps out and immediately turns his head left. it was as he calculated: you were right there leaning against the wall, trying your best to act nonchalant while ignoring his obvious presence.
ā€œdon't act childish.ā€ disappointment laces his voice, his folded arms shows it, too.
ā€œwhatever do you mean, doctor?ā€ you smiled.
ratio's having none of it. he moves his position to stand in front of you, forcing you to look at him instead.
ā€œyour behaviour then and now is childish. get back in the office.ā€
ā€œcut me some slack! do you think the courage i have over text translates to real life?ā€ your defenses raise, poking his chest to enforce your point. ā€œyou're intimidating and handsome, dude. give me a break.ā€
a silence follows. the kind of silence that indicates you said something you definitely should've kept as a thought. nervously, you move your eyes to look at ratio's. the eye contact doesn't last long ā€” like you said, he's intimidating (and handsome).
ā€œtell me something i don't know.ā€ ratio breaks the silence, grabbing your finger off his chest. ā€œbut that's not the point here, is it? we have something to do.ā€
mood: ruined. it's common knowledge to anyone who's been in a conversation with ratio that he's well aware of his visuals. compliments are nothing new to him ā€” it's a shame he didn't act the way he did in your daydreams.
ā€œgosh, you're so annoying.ā€ a voice of defeat.
grumbling, you straightened your posture, making your way back to herta's office. ratio followed behind, observing the you walked. has someone walking always been attractive, or is it just because it's you? a question that he'll be pondering on until he finds a suitable answer.
ā€œhey. you guys took too long. i don't wanna do it again,ā€ herta complains the second she saw you two walk in.
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xinganhao Ā· 5 hours ago
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šŸŒø jihoon x poetry account!reader.
the one where jihoon reads all the poems you think he'll like. headcanons & bonus content under the cut. āž¤ see also: svt burner accounts series
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šŸŒø jihoon and the languages of love .įŸ
jihoon claims: he can live without receiving gifts. he's never been particularly materialistic to begin with. he appreciates the bits and bobs he gets from fans, although he will also be the first to insist that no, you don't have to do this for him. spend your money on something more 'important'. save for a rainy day. he is fine without it; he is happy to just be remembered.
this is the same jihoon who will wear the socks he was given until there are holes in them. (even then, he'll try to hold on to, believing they serve their purpose.) jihoon who keeps all the gift tags from presents tucked away in a shoe box underneath his bed. jihoon who, with every poem you tweet, feels like he's receiving a little gift in itself.
jihoon claims: he's not a fan of physical touch. a lot of his members have chipped at his distaste for skinship over the years, but even then, he's not the type to seek out affection that way. he will indulge fans at fan signs. hold their hands when they ask. still, it is not something on the top of his mind when he thinks of the word 'love'.
this is the same jihoon who will stick to his members' side when they're out someplace unfamiliar. jihoon who will bear the weight of his twelve brothers' crushing bear hugs with little to no complaint, his expression exasperated but impossibly fond. jihoon who, when you mention loving the lyrics of hug, wonders briefly what that might be likeā€” to share something like that with you.
jihoon claims: he doesn't deserve acts of service. he reasons that it's because he's nobody special. he's just a guy, not anybody you have to expend too much energy on. and he's an adult, at that, one who has always viewed himself as independent and self-sufficient in day-to-day. it's alright, he'll say. i can do it myself.
this is the same jihoon who almost cries when he realizes a blanket had been tucked over his shoulders during his sleep. jihoon who remembers like the back of his hand the snacks that his members love, the birthdays of all their own families, the names of their pets. jihoon who feels a dull ache in his chest when he thinks of people like you and what more he can do to keep you around.
jihoon claims: he's terrible with quality time. he's busy, always so busy, spending more time in his studio than anywhere else in the world. he works like he has more than just 24 hours in a day. he feels guilty at this one in particular, at the knowledge that he can only give so much of his already portioned minutes. it's the life he chose, though, and he takes care to remind himself of that every day.
this is the same jihoon who has a special ringtone set for the people he loves so no matter how deep he is in his work, he will know when he has to look up and check. jihoon who purposefully carves out time to respond to texts or meet up with someone, even if it's only for half an hour. jihoon who lets himself be selfish, lets himself be just a teensy bit greedy, when he doom scrolls through the poems you leave him. (five minutes more, he'll barter with himself. just five minutes more, please.)
jihoon claims: he could be better with words of affirmation. he tends to be blunt with his words, which may sometimes be interpreted as coldness. he jokes around sparingly. he doesn't have the cutesy text-speak, the suave pickup lines of the other members. there are days, even, when the three words that matter the most catch in his throat. when all that comes out is a helpless, flustered stutter of iā€” iā€” iā€” love you.
this is the same jihoon who means every damn lyric he writes. jihoon whose entire discography of love, and heartbreak, and yearning, and home, and family, is made with specific faces in mind. jihoon who stutters and stammers when it comes to saying things outright, so when it comes to you, he borrows words from people who say it better than he can; he loans quotes and phrases and lines, hoping that somehow it will all still reach you. he can be more fluent in these languages of love, he knows. but he trusts that you can hear and see what he means all the same.
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BONUS CONTENT .įŸ
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āŒ— ā”†this is a slight homage to one of my favorite twitter accounts ever, poemsfornamjoon. i like to believe jihoon would also love a good poem (Ā“ā€¢ Ļ‰ ā€¢`) ā™”! hcs were also heavily inspired by this tweet (THE ENTIRE THREAD!!!), which i think of A Lot when it comes to jihoon: "woozi is always like, i'm so sorry i can't say saranghae. i can only write, compose and produce 100+ songs and counting for our band. i can only maintain a vast mental encyclopedia of 12 people's little things. wooahae. wooahae. wooahae. wooahae. wooahae. wooahae"
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yuwuta Ā· 8 hours ago
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HOW DID YOU GET USED TO THE HAUNTING, THE WILLING, THE MISSING, THE WANTING ā€” YUUTA OKKOTSU
content, warnings. more of the knight yuuta universe yippee. i got an ask about telling him heā€™d make a good prince and flustering him, and that struck something in me, though this interpretation of that ask is probably a bit darker/more serious than envisioned... i will publish the ask w the other version of this scenario too. unfortunately for everybody involved i was a theater kid and i did listen to cell block tango and the first half of hamilton before i had this idea </3 iā€™m sorry if you can tell
more notes. set in the same universe as this drabble, which are all set in the same universe as a full fic draft i have and would love to finish some day lol. anyway, say hello to the gojo of this auĀ 
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You are not ready to be queen. As much as you resent your mother, your father, the elders in the cabinet, the system you were raised inā€”as much as you wish to be a ruler that creates change and peace in your court and kingdom, you know that you are not ready to hold that position.Ā 
It shows now more than ever, with your parents being escorted to a neighboring kingdom for a meeting, and you in charge of the harvest ball. There is china to be chosen, silverware to be polished, candlesticks to be blessed, gowns to be sewn, a menu to be curated, a ballroom to be preparedā€”and you are sorely behind on all of your duties.Ā 
A lackluster princess does not make for a promising queen. And distractions do not help you become anything of yourself.Ā 
ā€œI do not have time to discuss the lilies Sir Gojo. I am aware they are drooping and that they are your favorite, but I do not control the weather,ā€ you sigh, handing back a scroll to a maid before turning to your head knight.
ā€œThat sounded very queenly, my little lady! Youā€™ve been practicing,ā€ he towers above you, with a growing smile and little care for your position. He bends forward to press the tip of his gloved pointer finger to your nose, ā€œI too mourn the lilies, but I am afraid I agree: we have much more pressing matters to discuss. Come along, shall we?ā€Ā 
Youā€™ve learned to be wary of Sir Gojoā€™s words over the years. He often leads with a false timbre, or makes otherwise simple conversation into a riddle for his own amusement. Even as youā€™ve learned when to ignore his games, youā€™ve also grown appreciative of his light demeanor, and his insistence on speaking to you directly, rather than shielding you away.Ā 
You take his arm, looping yours through his, and allow him to lead you down the courtyard steps and into the grand garden. You put your trust in him, allowing your feet to follow the path he sets, and letting your mind wander. You wonder whether you should set the gold or bronze-trimmed plates for the ball, if the curtains should remain closed or open, if the embossed or embellished silverware would leave a better impression on your guests.Ā 
ā€œPrincess?ā€ your knight calls for you. You focus your attention back to him, apologizing for your lapse in attention.Ā 
You expect a smile, perhaps another press to your nose and a light scolding, but Gojoā€™s expression is much more neutral. ā€œSir?ā€
ā€œI said that Lord Hajime is dead. His court will send a representative to the harvest ball, but how would you like to proceed?ā€Ā 
ā€œDead?ā€ your breath hitches momentarily, ā€œWas he unwell?ā€Ā 
ā€œI do not know. The letter gave no detail. I believe the court sent an apology for not being able to deliver a suitor as promised. The family wishes to keep this private until after the harvest.ā€Ā 
When you look up to him, you see no mischief in his expression. Heā€™s serious, and you feel lightheaded, warm, and icy all at once. ā€œI see,ā€ you say, and pull away from Gojoā€™s arm, ā€œExcuse me. Iā€”I need a moment to myself.ā€
ā€œYou are sick? So suddenly?ā€ Gojo asks, turning with your body so that his back is never to you.
ā€œNoā€”Iā€¦ Iā€¦ I need to be alone,ā€ you confess, wrapping your arms around themselves, curling into your own body. Gojo stands firm, a short nod in understanding. He raises his hand to make a signal; an order for the knights on the periphery who can see but not hear.Ā 
You smile, small, grateful for him. ā€œPlease, arrange our finest favors, and ask Ieiri for her favorite elixir.ā€Ā 
Gojoā€™s smile reflects yours, albeit stained with more sympathy. ā€œOf course.ā€Ā 
ā€œAnd tell the maids that I shall postpone the table placements until tomorrow morning. Should you find yourself with time to spare, let me know if you prefer the bronze to gold trim.ā€Ā 
Gojo nods, taking a half-step to stand in front of you. In times like these, you feel like the little princess under his watch and care from when you were younger. His presence is frightening, overwhelming, and yet, more comforting and welcoming than your own parents.Ā 
Carefully, he leans down to whisper, ā€œYuuta and his fleet have not yet returned, he will not be in the knightā€™s chambers. I will send him to you when he arrives.ā€ You blink in sudden awe, and Gojo smiles, reaches for your hand and raises it to his lips to press a chaste kiss, ā€œDo not regret too long, princess.ā€Ā 
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You hear him before you see him. Itā€™s a bad habit for a knight, you think; you can always hear or feel where Yuuta is, even if you canā€™t see him. You think he ought to be more stealthy, more secretive, quieter; but then again, you donā€™t. He reserves plenty of stealth for his motives, stores plenty of secrets in his mind, keeps his words quiet or has a way of keeping other peopleā€™s quiet.Ā 
The throne room is cold. Itā€™s your least favorite room in the castle, but tonight, you hope it inspires you.
You donā€™t sit on your throne, you donā€™t sit on your motherā€™s or your fatherā€™s; you donā€™t sit at all. You stand, at the top of the stairs, staring at the seats and the tapestry and the paintings of your forefathers that decorate the backdrop. Behind you, at the base of the stairs, Yuuta kneels. You donā€™t need to see him to know; you can feel it on your palms with your hands behind your back; you can see it in the eyes of your grandfatherā€™s portrait, you can hear it in the way his knee hits the carpet.Ā 
ā€œYou may stand.ā€Ā 
ā€œI shouldnā€™t, my lady,ā€ Yuuta replies, ā€œNot here.ā€Ā 
ā€œYou do many things you shouldnā€™t,ā€ you sigh, steady, ā€œStand, Yuuta.ā€Ā 
You hear the metal of his armor rustle against itself. You can feel when he stands; it feels like heā€™s right behind you, even though you know heā€™s ten steps below you.Ā 
You inhale, slowly; exhale, slowly. Clench your hands behind your back, and then relax your shoulders the way youā€™ve seen your grandfather do. Then, you speak. ā€œLord Hajime is dead.ā€Ā 
You turn, slowly, and wait until your cape has finished its turn, has settled behind you again before you speak again; a tactic your grandmother was fond of. ā€œLord Hajime is dead,ā€ you repeat, ā€œHe is dead, and I asked you not to kill him.ā€Ā 
Yuuta looks up to you. Neck craned, hands neatly behind his back, his helmet on the carpeted floor to his left. He does not look small.Ā 
You take a step downwards. ā€œI said this is not how I wanted matters to be resolved.ā€ Another step down, a pause, then repeat, ā€œI said that I do not wish to resort to violence.ā€ Another step down, a pause, ā€œTo resort to murder.ā€ Another step down, hurried, ā€œI stood under my balcony,ā€ another step, ā€œand I told you not to murder Lord Hajime. I told you not to kill him,ā€ another step; a pause, hysterical, ā€œAnd yet Lord Hajime is dead. He is dead becauseā€”ā€
ā€œI did not kill him.ā€
You pause your descent, four steps above Yuuta. You are only half a head taller than him like this. At this distance you can see the gray of his irises, wide and speckled with brown, without a shred of remorse pooling within them. It makes you sneer.Ā 
ā€œYou expect me to believe that it is a coincidence that a fortnight after I catch you on your way to murder Lord Hajime, that he dies?ā€ you question, rhetorical, ā€œI am naive, but I am not a fool, Yuuta.ā€Ā 
ā€œYou are no fool, my princess, and Lord Hajime was no saint,ā€ Yuuta shakes his head, ā€œHe was a tyrant. He took three wives prior and treated them all as whores. He alone was responsible for the destruction of the crops in the north. He had only himself to blame.ā€ Yuuta pauses, and you see something melt behind steely eyes. ā€œIt was a murder, yes, but not a crime.ā€
Yuutaā€™s lips wobble slightly, but the rest of him remains upright. It always goes like this: first his head, then his heart, then his body followingā€”in everything he does. You blink, slowly, and take another step down; eye-level with Yuuta at this height.Ā 
ā€œYou did not kill him,ā€ you repeat, leveled with revelation, ā€œYou just gave the order.ā€Ā 
Yuutaā€™s eyelids fall slowly, then his head follows in a shallow nod. He keeps his neck bent, keeps his head hung in front of you. You sigh.Ā 
ā€œWho was it this time,ā€ you ask. He does not raise his head; you do not wait for him to speak, you dip your head so that your lips are level with his ears. ā€œMegumi? Surely he would have hated the way Lord Hajime treated his livestock. Maybe Yuujiā€”he has been impatient to prove himself since recovering from his last injury. Or perhaps Toge, he wouldā€™ve done it swiftly in his sleep, without a sound.ā€
Yuuta keeps his gaze on the floor, keeps his words quiet. ā€œNobara.ā€Ā 
ā€œDame Nobara, who strives to replace you as my first blade?ā€ you question, ā€œWhat, as some kind of test of loyalty to you?ā€Ā 
Yuuta raises his head, eyes stern, brows drawn. ā€œNo, princess. To you.ā€Ā 
You freeze. Your anger flares, and then subsides to only weak embers as you understand Yuutaā€™s motives, and Sir Gojoā€™s final words to you. Youā€™re careful when you reach forward to brush your knuckle against Yuutaā€™s cold cheek, only the kiss of a touch between your finger and his face; even, still, he shudders, and you watch him melt from head to toe; from his eyebrows to his eyes to his lips to his shoulders to his knees.Ā 
ā€œYou are disobedient, and indignant, and ruthless,ā€ you list, voice soft, touch softer as you allow your fingers to graze the top of his ears, adoring the flush that follows, ā€œAnd kind, and careful, and charming.ā€
You watch the color stain Yuutaā€™s cheeks and his ears, you revel in the pout on his lips, and the effort of his breathing. You only wish he were this easy to tame all the time.Ā 
Still, he precious to you, so you are careful when you raise your opposite hand to his face, taking advantage of the difference in your status and stature to tilt his head upwards, lean down and press your words against his cheek, ā€œYou would make for a lovely prince,ā€ you tell him, ā€œThe people would love you. Our enemies would fear you. The soldiers would respect you.ā€ The kisses between your sentences are featherweight, trailed from the high point of his cheekbone to the corner of his lips.
You can feel him quiver when you pull back, moving a palm back to his cheek to pinch his skin between your thumb and forefinger, ā€œIf only you knew how to listen.ā€Ā 
Yuuta winces, but he does not pull away. He parts his lips to steady his breath, and then to speak, strained, ā€œPlease, princess. Have mercy.ā€Ā 
And for the first time in a fortnight you smile, watching splotched skin stain your knightā€™s cheeks when you soften your hold on him. You pull Yuutaā€™s head up further, lean yours down for a careful kiss; short, chaste, the kind you know he hates the most.Ā 
ā€œOh, Yuuta,ā€ you coo, grazing your thumb against his face, endeared by his wide eyes and quiet whimpers, ā€œThis is mercy.ā€
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thybirbman Ā· 22 hours ago
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Bird, I just need you to know, I think about these dudes daily. I think about them and their little cliche every single day and I think about modern Konoha would react to them and how they would react to modern Konoha and I think about them so much, it's probably not healthy. I don't have the words to explain how much I think about them, but it's so so much.
Specifically I think about how you drew Haruka, I can imagine her voice in my head so fucking clearly from just those two first shots of her. Deep and smooth, still womanly just way deeper than average, she kinda sounds like she's constantly on the verge of yawning, but she's actually only one step away from the most terrifying growl.
But also I love how you drew the twins and Ichigo holding up Sakumo like he's simba, which he basically is. It's just such a kid thing to do. You find out you're about to have a little cousin, and you're old enough that you know kids are a rarity in your family, so you're just like, "YOOOO! CHILD!!!!" Even if you don't 100% get it, you get it's a big deal and the only way you know how to deal with that is hold the kid high and tell everyone about how YOOOOO THERE IS A FREAKING CHILD YOOOOOO!!! And I love how mischievous the twins look. I wanted to make all the noises when Haru said, "Oh boy, exciting stuff," about Orochinatsu looking at ants while leaning on them with one arm. It's just so- I can tell they're interested but also they don't get it, they're faking getting it because it is interesting and they do wanna know more and they do care, but they don't GET IT get it. It's an older siblings trying to get it bc well, they got nothing better to do, but also they care, so they wanna hang out with you, and they wanna GET IT get it. Well, they do have better things to do, they have PLANS, but they care about Natsu and want them to know that they're not saying watching ants is stupid, (they think it's a lil stupid in that it's boring but they're not gonna say that bc they care and it's not them watching ants so they're not gonna ruin it for them for no good reason) Natsu is clearly enjoying themselves, just they have this idea and if you have the time maybe you wanna join-
Also, Tesuo's panel. I love his expression when inner him is going; "I'm finally free!!!~" in contrast to his outwardly uncaring facade. Just love his design in general. I love all your Hatake designs, I am so mentally ill about them, I love the Hatake, I'm obsessed with them, and I love your interpretation of them.
I love the Nara twins' designs and Hiname's design too- absolutely love the Hatake twins having decided to be here minions for the fuck of it. God, that is so in character and such a teenage thing to do. "Hey, let's just be this lil kid's slaves for the fun of it. I got nothing better to do, and I think she's funny, I wanna reinforce her bad habits. Also, I just wanna see what happens." 100% said by at least 59 teenagers every day. And Shiruka just being so done with the twins' shit, but also not leaving bc those are her besties (she never said this, and if you ever say she did, she is... not stabbing you, too much effort. She's putting in a bad word of you to her friends tho and they have all the energy in the world to socially destroy you). If they lived in the real world, they 100% met in college and became lifelong friends. Shiruka crashed on their couch for a while while between jobs, and Shiruka picked them up from bars more than once bc they were both too drunk to drive.
Also, I'd go on depth of my love of Orochinatsu and Hiname, but oof ouch my fingies are cramping, so just know I love them both just as much. Tho the twins + Shiruka are definitely my favorite, but I love all of them so much!
And I just- aaaaahhhhh! Too many feels, too few words. I love them all so much. I love the rivalry they got going on with other clan kids. I daydream about them going about their day and the Naruto cast doing a "watch the series/read the book they're from" trope type thing except they're watching their ancestors and also love them bc I cannot contain so much love in one person and I have to imagine hoards of people loving them as much as I do to function.
Silly, early Konoha lore and oc things drawn while thinking about this post
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!!! early konoha my beloved !!! I have so many thoughts ab it, I want to write a fic that's just silly early Konoha things viewed from the perspective of the less important clan members and their everyday lives. I'm aware the audience for that is incredibly small but I have too much fun just thinking ab it to really care!
Ichigo remains the only naruto oc Ive ever actually written for (in one step three steps), tho Haruka has been mentioned in multiple fics of mine now just bc she fills the role of Tobirama + Hashirama's blood aunt that I needed to be filled in my "Kakashi interacts with Tobirama w the knowledge that they are directly related" fics, of which there are now multiple
but yeah, take some silly art and lore comics !! I had fun while making these and will now probably put all these ocs on a shelf where I will not touch them for some more months
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nqueso-emergency Ā· 15 hours ago
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This is a long one but I'm pissed off...
I'm no one to tell people to have hope, you believe what you want to believe but here's an exception to that: it kinda pisses me off when I read asks based on Buddie journalists shitty biased interviews and saying they've lost hope.
I don't know if those are Buddies faking to be BuckTommys (it wouldn't be the first time) but why would you guys take into consideration what they say??? Have you not seen their behavior on line??? The hypocrisy??? when you call them out or come to them with facts they just block you or don't reply at all??? Why would you believe someone who said she was being attacked by bucktommys when in reality it was ppl from a completely different show just to shit on BT??? Have you not seen the posts about them here??? The tweets are there and even though they bock you, you can still see them.. Is queso wasting their time???
They are BUDDIES first and journalists after.. They need those clicks to keep the lights on.. they are not neutral, they are not professional and mainly, they are not to trust like AT ALL..
Let me ask you this, why were buddies soooo confident online saying that BT were going to break up since monday the week of 8x06??? Even making hit list to harass people??? It was weird bc as BT break up it was out of nowhere.. so they knew something we didn't... why is that?? I'll leave it to your interpretation.. Just keep in mind they get to watch the episode before anyone else.. So, would you take the word from someone like that???
And just as examples I'm gonna leave here some SS from the TVLine OS interview for you.. But do something for me.. Read the Questions Without reading the answers and it'll help you realize what their were trying to do. (Even though OS shit on himself with some of his answers) but still..
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What country would unite with the let buck fuck thing if even the GA liked Buck being with Tommy???? There's only one answer and you know what it is..
Mind you I think this is the least Biased... If you read the other interviews were these "journalists" themselves not the actor, are actually implying Tommy won't come back using frases like "most likely won't", "seems like it's final" it's even worse.. Being the interviews with Lou the worst ones... Why would they want an interview with Lou if they're a buddie and don't like him??? Looks like mission accomplished for them..
Now again you believe what you want to believe but don't come here using Buddie journalists as a reliable source....
And a final recommendation DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT BUDDIE "JOURNALISTS" SAY... but don't stop calling their shit out though bc they are awful people...
I rest my case..
Say that! šŸ“¢
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lilacxquartz Ā· 2 hours ago
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love you, love you, love you;
mr. crawling x reader
plot: some things are best expressed without the need of words ā€” themes: kissing, spooning/cuddling, smut, maybe yan vibes ā€” w.c: 1.1k
a/n: my first homicipher related fic. i want to try one for mr. silvair & mr. gap next, bc they were also my favs. this game has been taking over my life so much lately. like itā€™s been in my dreams, haaah.
masterlist ā€¢ ao3
Mr. Crawling was always loud when he was excited within your company; his laughter filled out the vast empty spaces that were otherwise unadorned with familiarity. Whatever you once sought from those winding corridors was ever-fleeting, temporary, leaving you stuck within the confines of his company.
Yet, when he felt what you could only interpret as affectionā€”thatā€™s when Mr. Crawling then became differentā€”quiet, soothing, kind but alsoā€¦ curious.
And when you would usually sleep, he would stand watch, knelt over the floor as per his usual stance but sometimes crouched near you, sometimes leaning back against the wall with his legs pressed up against his chest. He would watch you as his life depended on it, unwavering in focus and with eerie intensity. He would watch as your chest rose and fell, leaning close on occasion to catch the sweep of your breath and sometimes, he would trace the pad of his milky fingertips in long, languid strokes against your face. Always so delicate, so tender, but for the most part, quiet and even shy.
Having once caught a glimpse of Mr. Gap in your blanket space, however, set something territorial off for Mr. Crawling and he was never able to recover from such an invasion. The very idea that someone else was able to infiltrate what he deemed to be your spaceā€”especially someone who he disapproved ofā€”wasnā€™t something he could stand for. Especially with the sort of trickster Mr. Gap was, he couldnā€™t bear to see you get hurt. It would kill him on the inside (and on the outside, too).
So, just as you were getting into bed to rest up once more, he too, slipped in under the covers with you. At first, you were startled as usual, turning to face him with confusion evident in your eyes, murmuring out some words in a language that he still could not understand. He repeated something back, the meaning lost and indecipherable upon your ears, though soon surrendering to emphasis using gestures instead. A hug to bring you closer, a reassuring pat on your head and a small, longing kiss over your nose.
You listened to his words again, repeating over and over like a broken record.
Perhaps he meant no harm, after all.
You turned your back to him and settled into his chest, finding that he was surprisingly warm for what he was. His taller frame encased your body, wrapping his ashen arms around your waistā€”accidentally brushing the fabric that sat over your breastā€”nicking the cloth ever so slightly. Your breath hitched in surprise and as though in sheepish realisation, he withdrew right away, terrified that you were upset with him.
You drew out a long breath, reminding yourself again, that after everything that has happened thus farā€¦
That, Mr. Crawling does not want to hurt you.
That Mr. Crawling has only ever helped you.
So perhaps, right now, Mr. Crawling only wanted to be closer to you.
You relaxed your breathing, settling into his comforting shadow once more and allowed for his presence to envelop you. He repeated the soothing motions of his grappling arm, although he held onto you softer that time. His hands explored your body with a delicate touch, as though afraid of breaking youā€”of upsetting you againā€”his motions growing confident the longer that you didnā€™t protest. It wasnā€™t long before he, otherwise not disturbed by your lacking, conscious awareness, decided to explore further with you. Mr. Crawlingā€™s fingers didnā€™t ask for permission that time, creeping beneath the clinging fabric, feeling your skin against his palms, inviting a pleased, almost delighted smile to curl on his lips.
The silence remained unbroken as Mr. Crawling continued his explorative focus on you; the quickly-building evidence of his need growing harder the longer he pushed himself behind your body, the repeated touches arousing something warmer within him. To both his surprise as well as your ownā€”you were not repulsed, allowing him to creep even lower, below the skirt of the dress and up, brushing his hand up to your exposed skin and, reading into itā€”you communicated your consent from the moment you parted your legs, allowing him to get even closer.
Confidence surged in Mr. Crawling as he pushed himself into your hilt, allowing his hardened length to slip inside. Betraying the stagnant silence, he shuddered out a ragged gasp before giving into his own rising need; grinding himself into your sopping sex with steadily increasing fervour. His fingers clamped around the curve of your hips as he held you in place, slamming every last inch of himself deep into your core.
Ever touch-starved yet wanting nothing more than to surrender to the sensation of you, Mr. Crawling continued to drive his cock into your needy cunt, soon wrapping his winding arms around your body and holding on tight. He bucked intensely as you soon succumbed to breathless whimpers, incoherently begging for his name. Equally desperate whines rolled off the slip of his tongue as he found his lips pressed into the crook of your neck, dampening your skin with sloppy wet kissesā€”as many as he could give.
It felt overwhelming for you in a way to be worshipped like this but you did your best to keep up with such intensity, especially as the warm, tingling pleasure built up inside of you, too. You held on just as tight as he did, your hand seeking out his ownā€”fingers weaving into his bony digitsā€”interlocking and squeezing tight the closer you got, your grip and otherwise clenching need tightening simultaneously. To feel him losing himself inside of you was dare you admit, addicting, feeling him completely fill and stretch you out leaving you almost dizzied from the impaling force.
Mr. Crawling, like you, soon surrendered to the rolling bliss from the flick of his hips, feeling a surging warmth mount and rise, encouraging him to lose himself to the searing heat of the moment and you. Encircling your body in a possessive hug, he suddenly began to mutter out a new word in a strained mantra, again and again.
Given how desperate he seemed to be, you understood the meaning as ā€˜closeā€™, especially as his actions grew more stained and less controlled.
ā€œClose, close, close,ā€ he repeated.
It didnā€™t take his chased release to catch up as his hips grew to a stutter, rutting out one final pump before melting into you. Mr. Crawling cried into your neck, spilling out the entirety of his overflowing love, feeling the pent-up devotion trickle down your thighsā€”yet not letting you move awayā€”still retaining his claim on you.
Instead, he kept you even closer than before, not allowing you to part from him ever again (despite understanding your yearning for rest).
Words were never the problem, it seemed.
Mr. Crawling would have always found a way toā€¦ connect with you.
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bakersimmer Ā· 3 days ago
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Content Warning: If topics like death or self-harm are triggering for you, please avoid reading below the cut.
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Laila: Weren't we supposed to hang out tonight?
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(tries to relax and wait for the stabbing pain to stop)
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(keyboard clicking) Martin: I want you both to know that no matter where I am, I'll always be with you in some way. Take care of each other, keep learning, keep laughing, and don't be afraid to make mistakes. You were my greatest joy, both of you. And that will never change.
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I'm sorry I wasn't there for you to the very end. I'm sorry I wasn't the dad you deserved. But I know you'll both find your own strength and happiness, even without me by your side.
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Laila: Did something happen, or are you just ignoring me again?? Martin: Sry, dozed off. Killer headache. Laila: Again? You should see a doctor. Martin: Nothing serious, just haven't been sleeping well. Laila: You're welcome to come over. I'll take care of you. Martin: Appreciate it, but maybe another time.
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Martin: Hey. Do you, uh, know anything about strange dreams? Hanna: (curious) Strange how? Like, dream interpretation? Martin: Maybe? It'sā€¦ I keep having these dreams. Failing, leavingā€¦ dying. Just weird stuff, you know? Hanna: (concerned) Okayā€¦ that's, um, a little worrying. But do they follow any pattern? Like, are they always about something specific? Martin: (pauses) I guess... I'm the recurring theme. Hanna: Well, we can try to figure it out together. Do youā€¦ want to meet up? I'm free. Martin: Yeahā€¦ actually, that'd be good.
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previousĀ /Ā beginningĀ /next
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archive-of-wax Ā· 2 days ago
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I don't even know where to start with my love for this post, I've literally been rereading it over and over all day. This is by far the best interpretation of Trudy's parenting I've ever seen. It really captures the complex family dynamic we see onscreen with the twins, both with their mother and each other.
It's easy to focus on Trudy's evident abuse of Bo in the opening scene, but I think this is the first time I've seen anyone really analyse her interaction with Vincent. It's also one of the few times I've seen anyone speculate about his perspective or thoughts regarding his mother and her parenting, and I think you're spot on. Vincent wasn't showered with unconditional love while Bo got constant abuse. He was smothered with overbearing attentiveness that probably caused more issues than it fixed. Helicopter parenting certainly lines up with many traits fans have inferred from Vincent's portrayal, such as perfectionism, overdependence, and an anxious disposition.
I also felt that his perception of their mother wasn't as idolised as Bo's, and would go as far as to say that during his and Bo's kitchen convo I felt a hint of...exhasperation? Even weariness. At Trudy, at Bo's idolised view of her that he seemingly can't reject out loud, maybe even the purpose of their murderplot. I always imagined his feelings towards her to be something like 'I love you but please stop I'm begging you, why are you like this, why can't you be better for us', and I feel like part of that frustration came from knowing that none of the hovering and fussing was ever really for him as much as it was for her to feel better about herself, so any conversation about his feelings on the matter would have been pointless. If not immediately dismissed it would have just caused an argument, and this family has enough of those already, right? No need to rock the boat.
I have also never seen that newspaper clipping about Victor?! Could I ask where you found it? It completely throws loads of backstory theories out the window. Your version makes the lead-up to the murderplot make so much sense too. Bo and Vincent didn't just wake up one day and choose violence for no reason, but rather the pressure slowly built up: their father passing, the mill shutting down and all the jobs disappearing, then the town's inhabitants leaving, and lastly their mother's death. I imagine they found themselves alone in their now dead hometown, feeling washed up, lacking the practical and social skills to set off on their own (Vincent in particular), grieving the most pivotal person in their lives, and fit to burst with rage at the world. With their minds already cracked from their upbringing, and nothing to lose, it's easy to imagine how one thing led to another...Maybe some lost jackass gets a little too cocky with Bo at his mechanic shop, a fight ensues, Bo doesn't quite pull his punches like he knows he should and accidentally kills him. And then all it takes is a 'Yes, I know this is bad, Vince, but listen. You know how you've been having trouble sculpting like mama used to...?'
Anyway yes all this is to say this was a fantastic read! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, hope you don't mind me going on a mad ramble on your post haha. (Also could I ask you to link that study of a similar conjoined case? I've been looking for a real life counterpart to the twins' condition and could not find one for the life of me!)
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Trudy refills Vincentā€™s cereal. Heā€™s 2-3 years old and blind in one eye. He doesnā€™t need more cereal, he just needs his bowl rotated so he can see the cereal that was left over on his blind side. Not that we necessarily know how Vincent communicates without speech, but she hardly gives him time to answer her question about more before sheā€™s refilling the bowl anyways. This is her approach to parenting her boys in general.
Thereā€™s no interest in fixing their actual issues. Rather than help Vincent to see what he already has in front of him, sheā€™d rather add more, inadvertently also adding more onto the side he canā€™t see. At some point, this would just add to the issue. Overcompensation into overwhelm. Bo is brought in for breakfast kicking and screaming and itā€™s sort of evident why Trudy puts all her love into Vincent to the point of it being suffocating and unhelpful. Sure it could be a simple case of favoritism, but with the aspect of overcompensation specifically, it seems that she wants to balance her guilt over failing to parent one of her sons by pouring more effort than necessary into Vincent. Rather than giving the extra attention to Bo, itā€™s refilling a non-empty bowl of cereal.
I donā€™t think that necessarily mean she loves Vincent more. She finds him easier to parent. Fill the bowl whether or not he needs it because thatā€™s easier than unpacking where Boā€™s massive emotional outbursts are coming from. It seems more like love-bombing than genuine kindness. Heā€™s ā€œbeing such a good boy today,ā€ but the implied part is an unsaid comparison to Bo. As twins, and conjoined twins at that, theyā€™re not independent of each other. Vincentā€™s behavior exists only to contrast Boā€™s, from her perspective. ā€œFixā€ his needs, and she can fix them both. Hence, preferring just to duct tape Bo to a chair than help him any.
Then Vincent grows up to become her protege, starting in his childhood but lasting until even after Trudyā€™s death. Over thirty years have passed since they were toddlers in those high chairs, but Bo gives a hint about why Vince got that ā€˜special privilegeā€™ to not be as physically abused. ā€œShe always said that your talent would make up for what God took away from you.ā€ Only, God didnā€™t take anything. Victor Sinclair doing illegal, unqualified surgery on his babies is why Vincent lost half of his face. Trudy only uses Godā€™s name and religion as a shield for her own guilt about how her boys turned out. But itā€™s more likely she included Vincent in the wax business because she again, was dumping affection onto him over and over as her strategy.
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Otherwise there isnā€™t as much favoritism between the boys. In their childhood photos, they both play piano, both play pool and baseball, both get to sit at the table with their birthday cake (without highchairs or bindings) and they play on the floor together. It's not entirely divisive between them, though itā€™s still obvious from which brother sheā€™s slapping across his face and which brother sheā€™s love-bombing which sheā€™d prefer to deal with. Just not which she actually cares for more. Vincent wasnā€™t somehow spared from abuse in a house like the Sinclair household.
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Interestingly, when Bo tells the story of Trudy and Victor, he mentions that once the Doc died, they were alone. Except, thereā€™s at least one version of a prop newspaper stating that Trudy created a wax memorial for Victor. So this is just a false version of events most likely. Sure it could be that a decision changed, but thereā€™s also the fact that, in the guns and ammo store, thereā€™s a sign that says ā€œTrudyā€™s Town or Wax.ā€ And Bo tells Vincent, ā€œWe almost finished what mama started.ā€ Sheā€™s also much older than the Trudy we see in the family photos and articles (even with the amount of cigarettes that woman smoked.) Ambrose is confirmed to have been abandoned for a decade, but to be turned into wax, Trudy wouldā€™ve had to die sometime between the abandonment of Ambrose and the present. Else she wouldā€™ve been properly buried most likely. The plan to fill Ambrose was hers, itā€™s just Bo that suggests using real humans (according to his apology to Vincent, he takes credit for the idea anyhow.)
Which makes her boys at least in their mid twenties when she died. In an older version of the script, Bo had killed her and Victor, but knowing it would put them all in foster care, that doesnā€™t quite make sense unless they were older. So the order of events is, Doc dying, the sugar mill closing, Trudy planning to reimagine Ambrose, and then dying herself.
The reason thatā€™s important is because itā€™s emblematic of just how much pressure she was putting on both of her boys. And thatā€™s not love. With two mentally ill, abused sons, (maybe three, since Lord only knows how they treated Lester once he came along,) thatā€™s just manipulation. Victor and Trudy arenā€™t cartoon super villains for being bad to their boys. But when you canā€™t even just rotate a bowl slightly for your half blind little one, itā€™s shallow. Trudy has her cigarettes right in the boys faces in the opening and in most of the photos. Smoking was in one study linked to about 1/3rd of conjoined pregnancies, and in a similar case of conjoinment to the boys, one of the twins had lost an eye and had a prosthetic, but with minimal scarring because of the surgery being done in an actual legal hospital. Itā€™s not about God taking anything, or about which is a little monsted and which is a very good boy- itā€™s about Trudy and Victor both messing up from the very beginning and causing the boys losses, then refusing to take accountability for it. Or, in the symbolic sense, to just do the right thing and turn a damn bowl of cheerios towards your blind kid.
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ceaselesswatchersspecialboy Ā· 3 days ago
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Okay here we go
Does Stanfraud's eye still bleeds, like when Bill was possessing Ford or doesn't because of his bigger connection to Ford's body?
Is Stanfraud an uncle/big brother figure to Soos, like Stanley is his dad figure? Does Bill even care about him even a littlešŸ˜¢
I know that the main focus of this au is on Bill, but since Stanley didn't try to pretend to be Ford, how did Stanley's and Filbrick's first meeting went after the whole "getting kicked out" thing"? Especially since both Stan and Ford were definitely broke at the time
You mentioned that Bill still has access to a little portion of his powers, what are they exactly?
Anyway your au is genuinely awesome and seeing it on my dash is always a huge treat šŸ’›šŸ’›šŸ’›
Okay the first question I really want to answer because Iā€™ve been thinking about this:
ā€” His eye definitely bleeds on occasion. Even though he is far more connected to Fordā€™s body here, heā€™s still a demon possessing a host. He shouldnā€™t be there. Thereā€™s some outer force keeping him trapped. So I have thought about the fact there would probably be some lasting impacts on the body due to possession exposure for so long, such as the eye bleeding becoming a regular problem and gradual loss of vision in that eye. There may also be other physical impacts, but Iā€™ll work on those when I manage to get down an official design for him.
ā€” Great News! He is like Soosā€™ weird uncle! That may be where he learned to be somewhat decent around kids, honestly. He absolutely tried to mess with him at first, make jabs, tell him the date of his death, attempt to drive him to madness just a little (this is why Stan had to get rid of the last handyman), but Soos proved to be incorruptible and took all of Stanfraudā€™s weirdness in stride. Bill does end up caring about him. He goes as far as to liking their conversations. Soos keeps up with his chaos! Even Bill isnā€™t sure whatā€™s going on in that head of his (when he gets his own body back heā€™s going to find out).
ā€” Though Bill is the main focus of the plot-change, the other aspects are equally as important and so Iā€™m glad they also have peopleā€™s interest! Their first meeting isā€¦ tense, to say the least. If Filbrick has any regrets, which I think Iā€™ll leave up to interpretation, heā€™s far too stubborn a man to show them, and would rather dig himself further into a hole than admit he made a mistake. Stan desperately just wants to ignore all the scathing comments and get this little reunion over with, until Filbrick makes a comment about Ford, then Stan snaps. You can insult him, he probably deserves it, but not his brother. Sure, they may not be his brother right now, but the intent is there, and thatā€™s what counts.
It cuts everything short, with Stan grabbing Fraud and telling him theyā€™re leaving (He doesnā€™t complain).
With Filbrick, I do kind of want to explore their dynamic over the years while heā€™s still alive, especially with Stan, but also with how heā€™d treat ā€˜Fordā€™ and his odder behaviour. I donā€™t want to just make Filbrick a one-dimensional character though, as I think thereā€™s a lot to be said about the cycle of abuse and parental projection so. While the AU may be based around the question ā€˜what if Bill got stuck possessing Ford?ā€™ The answers it has lead me down a lot of different paths to explore ā€” such as this!
ā€” The powers he has access too lessen over time, but currently he is somewhat capable of seeing potential future outcomes (ciphervoyance), pyrokinesis, telekinesis, faster healing factor and teleportation. Note that all of these are in a much weaker state and drain Fordā€™s body and by extension Bill heavily ā€” especially teleportation. Doing that once can cause him to pass out, so itā€™s more of an emergency thing, most his abilities are honestly. Too much focus is required.
And Iā€™m so happy to be a little treat on your dash!! I hope you enjoy all this just as much!
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anistarrose Ā· 2 days ago
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Saw a post that I do agree with ā€” about how moving your activism primarily offline and engaging with people in real life is so much more impactful than angrily riding your horse into another round of online discourse, especially now. But at the same time, I want people ā€” especially disabled people, and otherwise involuntarily isolated-feeling people ā€” to know that there is activism you can do online, or otherwise from your home, that's different from reblogging a snarky post, and more impactful too.
The example I'm always obligated to talk about is online accessibility, and especially, writing image descriptions ā€” an act that both directly makes posts more accessible to blind and low-vision screen reader users, and raises awareness of image descriptions to promote accessibility indirectly but in the long-term. This is disability activism; it is making a previously inaccessible space accessible and implanting disability accommodations at the forefront of people's brains.
As a chronically ill autistic person, the barriers to getting involved IRL are hopefully surmountable in my personal case, but not easily or quickly surmountable. However, the barriers to me writing image descriptions are much lower ā€” and in fact, as a disabled person myself, I'm passionate about the topic, and that makes it easier for me to focus on. I subscribe to the burnout-prevention advice to make a list of a very few issues, tailored to your strengths, that you pledge to put your whole ass into, with a less selective list of issues you can pledge to do a little bit about when you have the resources.
Image descriptions are my personal Whole Ass Into It issue. They are, quite simply, the action I am personally best-equipped to take to make the world a tiny bit less shit.
And it might not be that kind of issue for you! I desperately want people to be aware of the possibility, but it may not play to your strengths ā€” or, it may fit better as an issue you can make occasional contributions to without focusing on. (What might occasional contributions look like? Maybe just describing your own posts, and getting in the habit of checking the notes for IDs when you're on Tumblr. Or maybe just choosing one type of image to always describe that feels manageable for you ā€” screenshotted tweets, maybe.)
But maybe you're not the best at interpreting images, and it would better play to your strengths to write transcripts! Maybe typing is tiring for you, or social media is bad for your mental health, but leaving the house still has barriers, so you find an opportunity to phone bank for a particular issue! Maybe you volunteer with a voter registration help line, next election. Maybe you stay on Tumblr but you adopt a fundraiser, or join a charity zine. Maybe you need to garden very slowly and steadily, to take care of your body, but you can grow some native plants, and strike up conversations with your neighbors about it, if you get the chance.
At the end of the day, I think two things can be simultaneously true: getting involved offline can be contextually much more plausible than a lot of people realize, and it can still have barriers for people with certain disabilities or other circumstances, while people lacking those circumstances may not notice. Luckily, there's no one mold for what activism looks like. Analyze your strengths, treat your limitations with compassion, and get creative about how to help.
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mywitchyblog Ā· 17 hours ago
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Hello! Iā€™ve just read your post about respawning and permashifting and I love it! Though I have question about respawning since I pretty much adopted respawning other than permashifting like I used too mainly due to the fact Iā€™m not coming back here. Like you said in your post, respawning can be consider in some cases spiritual, Particularly with planned reincarnations and all that other stuff relating to it. My whole thing is does it have to be spiritual? Like can just be something simple like permashifting where you just shifting with the intention of not coming back anymore while your typical stand in/version of you just stay behind and live our old life normally. I know this is kinda of dumb question but I just gotta ask cause I even though I do believe in some spiritual practices and concepts, Iā€™m not that very spiritual.
Alright, babe, letā€™s get into it. So, does respawning have to be spiritual? Is there some universal rule that says, "Honey, if youā€™re respawning, you gotta bring out the incense and crystals"? Absolutely not. Respawning doesnā€™t have to be spiritual unless you want it to be.
Respawning and Spirituality: Is it Really That Deep?
People have been throwing ā€œspiritualā€ around when it comes to respawning because, letā€™s face it, the idea of moving on to another life can sound mad ethereal. Like, thereā€™s this whole vibe of leaving this world for another, so naturally, people connect that with concepts like reincarnation, the afterlife, higher planes of existence, etc. But, just because something has that ā€œspiritualā€ ring to it doesnā€™t mean itā€™s inherently spiritual for everyone. Thatā€™s the gag with shifting and respawning: theyā€™re blank slates. You paint them however you want.
Some folks see shifting as a deeply spiritual practice because it feels that way to them. They might associate it with reincarnation or even ascension, like theyā€™re leveling up or tuning into a higher frequency of their being. Respawning, in that framework, is basically saying goodbye to this life on a soul level and fully embracing their DR as if theyā€™re reborn. So yeah, for those people, it is spiritual. But, babe, thatā€™s their lane, not yours.
The Scientific and Quantum Side of Respawning
Now, letā€™s talk science for a sec. Just because something sounds mystical doesnā€™t mean it canā€™t have a logical, no-nonsense explanation behind it. Some people look at shifting through a more scientific or quantum lens. Ever heard of the Many Worlds Theory? Itā€™s this idea in quantum mechanics that every possible outcome and version of reality exists in some parallel universe. When you think about respawning through that lens, itā€™s not so much spiritual as it is a form of stepping into a version of yourself that exists in another reality. In that view, youā€™re not reincarnating; youā€™re just moving from one branch of existence to another, no more mystical than flipping to a different chapter in a book.
And if you vibe with that, guess what? Your respawn doesnā€™t have to feel any more mystical than changing your major in college. Itā€™s just a choice. A powerful, badass choice, but still just a choice.
Your Perception = Your Reality
Letā€™s get into some tea: Your perception is what gives shifting and respawning their meaning. If spirituality feels like a stretch or just isnā€™t your thing, donā€™t force it. Respawning can be as simple or as profound as you make it. For example:
If spirituality clicks for you, you might feel that respawning is like a soul shift, a transition from one life journey to another.
If youā€™re more into the idea of science and self-determination, then respawning can be as straightforward as deciding, "Iā€™m done here. Time to live my best life somewhere else."
The best part? Both interpretations are valid. Because respawning is a concept with roots in personal interpretation, itā€™s like waterā€”it takes the shape of whatever container you put it in. Spirituality might make it feel like a river flowing into the ocean of another life, while science or logic might make it feel like stepping off one subway line and hopping onto another.
Does Leaving Mean Losing Yourself?
One thing I see sometimes is people worrying that respawning means erasing themselves. Like, if youā€™re leaving this life, does it mean youā€™re abandoning everything you were here? The answer is: only if you decide thatā€™s the case. Just because youā€™re moving on doesnā€™t mean the essence of you is gone. Youā€™re still you, whether you frame it spiritually, scientifically, or just pragmatically. Your DR self can carry every single memory, trait, or little quirk of yours if thatā€™s what you want. Itā€™s not about losing or erasing; itā€™s about expanding into something new.
Respawning Without the Woo-Woo
So, if youā€™re not into the spiritual stuff, hereā€™s what respawning could look like for you:
Think of it as a permanent shift: Youā€™re making the choice to stay in a different reality, while another version of you remains here, handling the everyday stuff.
See it as self-redefinition: Youā€™re not necessarily shedding your soul; youā€™re just saying, ā€œIā€™m choosing to redefine my existence in a way that works for me.ā€
Donā€™t worry about the ā€˜meaningā€™ too much: Sometimes, people get so caught up in ā€œWhat does this mean for my soul?ā€ or ā€œAm I spiritually transforming?ā€ when the simpler answer is just ā€œI want a change, and this is how Iā€™m making it happen.ā€
Why ā€œIt Has to Be Spiritualā€ is a Lie
Itā€™s almost like someone saying, ā€œTo appreciate art, you have to be an artist.ā€ Um, no, sis. You can experience art however you want, and the same goes for shifting. Just because some people feel a certain way doesnā€™t make it the rule. The only ā€œruleā€ in respawning is what you set for yourself. If spiritual elements donā€™t speak to you, then they donā€™t belong in your practice. Theyā€™re just extras, like garnish on a plate. And letā€™s be real, sometimes the garnish just gets in the way of the main course.
You Define Your Own Shifting Journey šŸ’…
Shifting and respawning are about self-determination, baby. Youā€™re in control. Just like you donā€™t need to meditate in a cave or light sage to live your best life, you donā€™t need to approach respawning in a spiritual way if it doesnā€™t resonate with you. You can be as witchy or as no-nonsense as you want. Your approach to respawning is as unique as your fingerprint.
So, when it comes down to it, does respawning have to be spiritual? Absolutely not. Whether youā€™re burning incense, cracking open quantum physics books, or just winging it and saying, ā€œBye, Felicia,ā€ itā€™s your shift, your rules. Take what feels right, leave what doesnā€™t, and own that choice unapologetically. šŸ‘‘
So, hereā€™s your final answer, darling: No, respawning doesnā€™t have to be spiritual unless you want it to be.
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cosmicalily Ā· 1 day ago
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'come to me, slowly' a hyunjin oneshot by @cosmicalily
author's note: short but very, very sweet. the whole ā€˜charmā€™ album is such a work of art in my eyes; it's so beautiful and reminds me of the dreamiest spring with my girls. i feel like hyunjin would really fw clairo so i decided to make a little something for him! iā€™m normally insanely protective over my precious wlw songs, but i think this song can be interpreted in a multitude of ways. can be read as a standalone fic, but works better as a sequel to 'episodic memory', which is part of a mini series!
warnings: pregnancy
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It had been six months since youā€™d first told him. Six chaotic months of taking care of a new house and yourself in your new fragile state, days spent painting your bedroom deep emerald green, of Hyunjin washing your hair for you when you bathed, even though you insisted you were capable of doing it yourself.Ā 
In the end, despite your love for your studio, the two of you decided to move everything into the cosy sunroom at the back of the small house. So when your lease ended, the two of you spent the day unpacking and repacking tubes of paint, jars of ceramic glaze, kilos of clay and, with the assistance of your old roommates, Felix and his now fianceā€™s minivan, moving the kiln to your home. When the floors were clean and windows washed and everything was unorganised but exactly where you needed it to be, Hyunjin spent long minutes kissing you in your new makeshift studio. Hundreds of kisses on your forehead, nose, cheeks and collarbone, and thousands on your lips, soft yet hard, slow yet feverish.
He still couldnā€™t believe you were having his baby.
Hyunjin didnā€™t think he could fall in love with you anymore, but seeing you in your home, the one you two had finally bought together, skin shiny in the summer humidity and dressed in only a pale yellow lace bralette and loose-fitting overalls, he found himself sinking even deeper. You fanned your face, mumbling something under your breath about the heat, and unclasped the two straps of your overalls, letting your belly show. Hyunjin walked over behind you, wrapping his arms around your lower waist, kissing your shoulder. ā€œGet off, baby, itā€™s so hot,ā€ you grumbled, but let yourself melt into his touch. ā€œI canā€™t tell if it's the hot flushes or the summer weather. Why isnā€™t your face all red and sweaty?ā€
Hyunjin chuckled. ā€œYour pink cheeks are cute. Youā€™re cute. I donā€™t think Iā€™ll ever get how adorable your belly looks; Iā€™m so excited for her to arrive, but I also kind of want to soak up this feeling.ā€
ā€œMm,ā€ you replied, turning to face him and resting your cheek against his chest. ā€œMe too.ā€
ā€œMy angels,ā€ Hyunjin pulled you in tighter, kissing you then leaning down to press a kiss to your tummy. ā€œMy girls.ā€
ā€œAnd weā€™re the luckiest girls in all the world,ā€ you smiled, eyes glossy. ā€œI love you so much, baby.ā€
His thumb moved to wipe your tears and kiss your cheeks. ā€œI love you even more, pretty girl.ā€
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Summer had long gone, and now Winter was rapidly approaching, orange leaves disappearing from the trees as the weather gradually cooled. You pulled a butter yellow mohair sweater over your shoulders and buttoned your jeans, walking out of your bedroom with a yawn.
Hyunjin had never been an early bird, but ever since Juna had been born, heā€™d grown to adore it. Regardless of whether it was four or five in the morning, he would be out of bed and with his baby, comforting her until she fell asleep again or, if she didnā€™t, strapping her in a baby wrap and taking her on a walk, the breeze cool on his face and the sun rising as he strolled. His heart would feel full to bursting with love for the being you had somehow created together, the baby youā€™d carried with such strength for nine long months.Ā 
ā€œGood morning, my darlings,ā€ your eyes sparkled with joy when Hyunjin walked through the front door, a wide awake and giggly Juna cosied up against his chest.Ā 
ā€œHi, pretty girl,ā€ Hyunjin smiled, unwrapping Juna and passing her to you for a cuddle. He left the wrap on the kitchen bench and kissed you softly. His body and soul belonged to you. For you and Juna, he would tear down every star from the sky, rehang the moon if it fell in the night, chase away the clouds until the sky was clear again.
You were his world.
As he looked at the hundreds of paintings and photographs that lined the walls of your home, his entire body warmed, and he held the two of you closer.
ā€œWeā€™re yours, Hyun.ā€ you whispered, and his heart erupted like a supernova, his eyes blinded with colour.
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