#I know this scene is supposed to be serious but it's never not funny to me

[space-spring-art]

Saw this post and it reminded me of how funny maxwell's chapter 2 mentor-zoning is

[angrykittybarbarian]

A list of things that bother me about Dragon Age: The Veilguard Part 2

I already touched on a few things that caught my attention and personally irked me about the game. After getting through some more of it naturally a few more points have come up. Though I think they are not really new aspects but more concrete examples of what I had touched on last time.

Without further ado, let's get into it.

!Spoilers below the cut!

The dialogue is repetetive and at times contradictory

Like I already discussed last time the dialogue is bad, to express it in the simplest of terms. As I progressed through the game I stumbled upon a glaring example for what I mean.

In the questline where you infiltrate a Venatori meeting there is a part where Neve in disguise and in company of Rook and another companion gets a Venatori to admit that Elgar'nan was present but not Ghilan'nain. For some inexplicable reason Neve turns around and repeats this twice as if Rook wasn't present.

But moving on.

I stated in my last post that the game feels the need to state the obvious. This is what I mean. It makes the dialogue feel like a rough draft that was incorporated into the game without further polish.

As of its contradictory nature two examples come to mind.

In Harding's companion quest you meet this dwarf of Kal Sharok. His dialogue is stoic, no bullshit straight to the point and passionless. Which was fine. But after several minutes of him being that way they get to stone statue Valta who speaks in these misteryous riddles and suddenly he switches to this unserious tone of "Oh that weird statue, we never know what she's saying, ain't she funny." (I'm paraphrasing here). I was confused for half a minute because of his sudden change in attitude and left wondering what his characterization is supposed to be now: serious or quirky?

Same thing with Taash's whole story. This is especially upsetting because I feel like they could have done such great work with it.

Instead it suffers so much from several inconsistencies that I felt sorry for the VA because they actually did a great acting job.

Taash has a coming out scene with their mother where they reveal they're non-binary. Ignoring the usage of modern terms in a medieval-ish setting, the conflict about their gender makes no sense.

The writing wants you to believe Shathann is not okay with her child being non-binary but she never actually expresses such a thing. Actually Shathann sort of had an inkling that Taash was no ordinary woman ("Behaves more like a man...") and she never passed any negative judgement on it. When Taash told her this she even tried to understand by categorizing their identity into qunari vocabulary she knew (remember the term aqun-athlok?).

I get how hard it is to have an overly critical mother and the feeling of not being good enough but that was not what Shathann was about in that scene and it did Taash so dirty because they looked more like an entitled teenager than someone suffering from trauma and perfectionism.

Some old characters are mischaracterized

It's Scout Harding. I mean Harding.

I was really excited to have her as a companion in the new installment but they sort of butchered her character that I found myself annoyed everytime she opened her mouth.

And this is because they make her sound so immature. Really think about it. DATV somehow makes Scout Harding sound younger and more childish than she was in DAI despite the fact that she is supposed to be a whole decade older in DATV than in DAI.

I don't know what direction her VA recieved while recording but everything was pronounced so slowly and extra clear that it seemed at times that Harding was either talking to a confused elderly person or a child.

She herself uses expressions not fit for her age. The most jarring moment was when she called the Blight in D'meta's Crossing 'weird' and sounded like a teenager who has stumbled upon furry art for the first time on deviantArt. This pattern pretty much continues throughout the game. And it hurts so much.

Also Morrigan. She at least still uses her even for DA setting standards antiquated vocabulary but she is too happy and cheery and friendly.

Morrigan is not a nice person to those she does not know and like personally. But to Rook she was so nice despite having met them for the first time.

The Morrigan we have come to know love/hate should have been more snarky or at least more neutral in her demeanor.

The Venatori

I don't know why they are still a thing honestly. I was under the impression they have lost all footing after the death of Corypheus. Why would they follow the Gods of the people their country systemically abuses anyway?

Bonus: Why would the Antaam for that matter, as the qunari are so notoriously arcanophobic that they leash their mages, sew their mouths shut and literally call them "dangerous thing"?

Solas' spy network and agents

What happened to them? Where are they? Shouldn't he have a small army? Why weren't they used as the gods' agents instead of the Venatori? Surely, Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain would have an easier time simply controlling Fen'Harels elven army after imprisoning him in the fade.

The Chantry

It is just not present. Sure there are some Chantry buildings but there is no discussion of faith. In all previous DA games the Chantry has had a constant influence that could be felt everywhere. Faith was discussed and explored from various angles and perspectives, ranging from ultra conservative to progressive. But in Veilguard it's not there.

Why are we not exploring the Tevinter Chantry more? Why doesn't Emmrich discuss the nevarran Chantry, who follows the Sunburst Throne in Orlais, in regards to the Mournwatch, their necromancy practices and magic? Why was he not affected by the mage uprising that started in Kirkwall? How does he deal with faith and the Chantry? It is simply never mentioned.

By all accounts, this game avoids delving into the world like the plague.

[purplehalnw]

So, I finally watched Deadpool and Wolverine.

Of course, I knew the moment this movie was announced that there would be shipping and I was fully prepared to join in. And yep I definitely ship Wade and Logan. Near the end of the movie when they were sitting on the bench? I was completely feeling it, I was practically begging for them to kiss or something even though I knew it wouldn't happen.

And you know I'm glad they left it a little ambiguous as to whether Wade and Vanessa would get back together. Again I know him and Wolvie are never going to happen, but hey at least that ending is making it easier for me to pretend.

Also, I know one problem with the Deadpool movies in general that I've seen other people mention is that Deadpool's sexuality is mostly treated as a joke. Like we'll get several scenes of him flirting with men (and I'm pretty sure it's only men if not mostly men) that we're clearly supposed to laugh at but the only time we'll show him in a serious relationship is with a woman.

But I will say that at least it's clear that Wade is actually attracted to men. Like he's not flirting with men just because he likes to mess with people and he thinks it's funny (even though that is part of it), he genuinely thinks these guys are hot. Like Wade in that scene when Wolverine's shirt gets burned off? The man is down bad.

Does it still kind of suck that we're supposed to laugh at Wade being attracted to and willing to have sex with men? Yeah, and I do want them to give Wade a boyfriend (or hell maybe even just bring in an ex boyfriend) but hey this is the MCU, this is fucking Disney, there's no way in hell they'll do that. So, honestly? I'll just take what I can get.

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream when they're dating their co-member's idol!sister! 

AN: I used NCT members as a whole in this one ??? because it's much funnier tbh and the case might be different (I already did Dreamies' sister ver). Also in this scenario, they're supposed to be in a secret relationship but was caught by Dispatch LOL (no NCT Wish yet, I'm sorry! Still haven't get to know them better ><) 

Mark Lee

LMAO. Doyoung wouldn't know how to feel when he learned that you've been dating Mark for YEARS. So the times you went to their dorm wasn't because of him, but because of Mark!?!?!? Plus you were CAUGHT by Dispatch, so that doubled his stress. Unfortunately, your brother loves Mark like a younger brother. So after a hefty interrogation with him, he gives you his blessings and was still bitter that you two hid it from him. He knows that Mark will take good care of you and wouldn't hurt you two. (Mark will be dead if he does so.)

Huang Renjun

Yangyang will feel BETRAYED because Renjun is dating you and he only found out through Dispatch. I mean, that's his best friend and sister! He was surprised that you two were sneaking behind his back, but he'll find it funny and cute, unexpected too because Renjun never shown interest about you. He would probably interrogate you first before dragging Renjun in the scene. Yangyang would probably be chill about it because he trusts Renjun so much, just be prepare for a numerous teasing and pulling the "i'm telling y/n" card on Renjun. 

Lee Jeno

OH it's going to be a tension. Yuta will be SHOCK and the funny thing was that, he was in Japan when he learned about you and Jeno. He probably sent YOU tons of messages and calls while you panic over your relationship being revealed. When you were not answering, Yuta resorted to Jeno who was much calmer than you. Actually, Yuta knows that Jeno's a good kid, he just wants to make sure that you're choosing the right guy, and you did! Jeno was very respectful during the call and even told Yuta that he'll take care of everything. Yuta was in relief but that doesn't excuse him to talk to Jeno personally when he went back to Korea.

Lee Donghyuck

Oh, the first thing Ten will say to Haechan, "are you sure?" he doesn't mind that you two are dating and that you two have been dating for MONTHS. Like the typical teasing brother he was, Ten will ask Haechan if you brainwashed him or something, and you just have to kick him right there. Haechan will find it funny that Ten wasn't mad at all and that he's actually quiet pretty chill, but still, he also want Ten's approval so he made quite a speech about how serious he is about you, and Ten will just whip up a smile and ruffle Haechan's hair.

Na Jaemin

Jungwoo loves Jaemin like a younger brother, so he doesn't know what to feel when he learned that Jaemin's dating you without telling him. And that's been going on for years! He was also worried because you might receive backlash, so he was surprise when you and Jaemin appeared in front of their dorm. It was an hour of serious talk between the two of them and you SWORE that you never saw your brother this serious. As soon as the talk ended, Jungwoo will return to his usual self and ended up asking you two about your love life like a gossipy auntie.

Zhong Chenle

Oh pookie. Johnny loves Chenle so much. Like that's his little brother right there! He'll be pretty chill when he learned that you two are dating but he'll be mad as hell because you two were exposed by Dispatch. He was worried that it might ruin your image so he called you and asked you about it! You assured him that you're fine and things are being settled. Johnny would probably tease you eventually and ask you how you two started dating lol. Catch Johnny calling Chenle, "brother-in-law" whenever the two of them meet. 

Park Jisung

How can Taeyong find out he's in the military. JOKE IM SO SORRY. But the moment Taeyong finds out that you're dating Jisung the first thing he'll think was "damn, both of them have matured." and second, "Fuck Dispatch." JK. Anyways, he would probably try to contact you first. Will ask if you're okay and that he heard the news. You'll apologize to him for hiding it and probably understands why you did it. Then he'll try chatting Jisung about it and will be SURPRISE that Jisung sent a long-ass message about it. That's when he realized that Jisung's genuine about you! He'll be sentimental and think that time flies so fast. 

[hugheshischier4313]

YOU MISS HIM DON’T YOU | Q. HUGHES

Pairing: Quinn Hughes x reader

Warnings: maybe emotional cheating?

Word count: 2k

Author’s note: Hi lovelies! I was rewatching desperate housewives and a certain scene encouraged me to write something similar. It was supposed to be a quick little Drabble/blurb but im at 10 pages now and still not done. So here’s a snippet :)

———————————————————————

Quinn had known about your boyfriend from the very beginning. He had seen you together, bringing boxes to the apartment beside his, and noticed you immediately. He wished he could say it had all been innocent, but the first thing he saw was how your legs looked in the tennis skirt you had been wearing. You bent down to pick up a fallen pillow as he exited his car in the parking garage. His eyes lingered on you, and he forced himself to turn away before you noticed. He swore he would offer to help you before he met eyes with Andrew as he stepped out of the parking garage elevator.

"I didn't mean to; it just happened. You were bent over, in a skirt, right outside my car; it was hard to look away when I didn't expect you to be there." Quinn had a slight pink tone to his features right now, and you were smiling, trying to suppress a laugh. You stood in the kitchen, pouring the margaritas into your cups.

"You mean the skirt I'm wearing right now? Is that why you mentioned it? Quinn, you could have kept that secret forever. I mean, you couldn't waterboard that information out of me." You were always more giggly when drinking, which was contagious to Quinn. "But since you didn't, I'm gonna use this against you for the foreseeable future."  The laugh left you when you got back to Quinn's couch. "I'll try not to make any sudden movements that may catch you off guard," you teased as you stood before him and handed him his drink.

"It's not funny; I've felt bad about this for months." he tried to be serious, but the smile never left his face. As you nodded with a smirk on your lip, you turned from him after he grabbed the glass, "Y/N, I'm serious." He wasn't; he could never stay upset with you, even in a joking manner. 

"I guess I'll just go back to my apartment then; I don't want to bring back any of your past shame." your body once again turned towards him as you leaned down over to hug him, "Bye, Hughes, I'll make sure to only wear this when you're out of town." He let out a sarcastic 'ha.' "You don't have to leave; I can control myself. I promise." he rolled his eyes and slowly got up to stop you.

"I don't know; I think the only logical answer is to wear your Drew sweats." You had pivoted and ran to his room before he could reply. You had bugged him countless times to try them on over the past months; you had just wanted to see if they were worth the hype because the black sweats had been sold out forever (and maybe, subconsciously, because of your past love for Justin Bieber). And every time he said no, you took this as your opportunity to try them and bug him simultaneously.

Being in Quinn's room was familiar to you. You had spent most days at one of the two apartments, and sometimes that meant laying in his bed watching TV after he had just returned from a string of away games or after a challenging game or practice. You had worn his clothes before, too; it was always in a platonic way, the first time you had locked yourself out after being out on a run when it started raining. You lost your key on the run, and the concierge was gone for the night. You had also spent the night; he let you sleep in his bed and took the couch. 

As you ran into the room, you closed the door behind you and walked into the closet, closing that door, too. You had found the sweats and slowly walked out of the closet. There was no sight of Quinn, and the bedroom door was still closed. You walked towards the door, sweats in your hand, as you called out to him, "Q? Are you -" But you were cut off as he tackled you onto the bed next to you.

The two of you lay on the bed laughing before turning to face each other. The laughter died down, and you were smiling and looking at each other. The two of you lay there for a while, not saying anything until you broke the silence, "Your eyes are a different colour every time I see you, but today I can see every shade in them." You don't know why you needed to share your observation with him, but it felt right. "You cut your hair." He reached out to tuck a strand behind your ear and play with the end of another. His voice had been so him, soft yet dominant. It was true; you had gotten a slight trim the day before and a few longer layers at the bottom of your hair, a small and simple detail that could have been missed. In fact, he was the only person to notice; none of your classmates or even Andrew, although over Facetime, had noticed. 

The room felt heavy as you looked from his hand in your hair to his eyes again, stopping to look at his lips for a second. And when you reached his gaze, it was unreadable. "I -" A phone began to ring as Quinn was about to speak. You could see a shift in his demeanour as you continued to look at him. He got up to find the cause of the sound. "It's your phone." He walked it over to you before heading out to the living room again. The phone illuminated ANDREW CALLING.

You looked towards the empty doorway as you brought the phone up to your ear. "Hey you," your playful voice sounded forced, and the smile on your lips was even more so. "Hey, I have a surprise for you. The notification said it was in the lobby." This shocked you, not only because it was a surprise but because Andrew was never one for small gestures. It was always something big like him ordering 4 dozen roses to your desk after your fourth date. But he had never just sent you or given you something randomly.

Andrew could be a sweet guy; you worked together before he asked you to have dinner with him. You knew you were moving and had no intention of starting anything serious before moving to Vancouver, but he had been so persistent, and it felt nice to have a distraction with all the craziness of moving. But living in different provinces has brought no comfort to either of you. It felt like pen pals most of the time. You would call him a few times a week and talk for an hour before he had to go. There had been a few times where you could have sworn you heard someone else there, but the times you mentioned it, it felt like the fight had been more trouble than the issue itself.

And maybe subconsciously, you felt like a hypocrite. Your relationship with Quinn was platonic, but the number of times you were confused as a couple in public could be seen another way. In fact, you hated to admit it, but it felt like you communicated more with Quinn when he was away than with your boyfriend. 

"There's something for me in the lobby of my apartment complex? Andrew, what did you do? It's 7pm?" As you started talking, Quinn walked into view, bringing your drinks and extending to you. "It's a surprise; you should go get it now; I'm assuming it's just on the concierge desk based on the picture." You stared up at Quinn as you listened to Andrew, "Okay, I'll be down in a minute, and I'll call you back once I have it." The phone call was quickly over. 

"What did you order?" Quinn asked with a smile, used to all the packages you've received. A few that had been too heavy for you to carry on your own that Quinn had taken himself. Even when they hadn't been too heavy, he would carry them for you if he was there. "I'm not sure, Andrew sent it to me." You could have sworn there was a look on his face that was gone as quickly as it appeared. "You want me to go with you in case you need help?" there was no hesitation in your quick reply of 'yes.'

As the two of you walked down the hall, you were overly aware of the distance between you. It was no different than it had been in the past, but there was a particular charge. The words shared and unshared in the bedroom hung heavy. "So I never got to even put the sweats on," you joked while waiting in front of the elevator. "You can borrow them when we get back up if you want," his answer made your breath hitch. He had never let you try them on, much less borrow them.

He looked at you, letting you walk into the elevator first. The ride down was quick and quiet, but how you looked at each other made everything race faster. Your heartbeat quickened as you saw his slight deviation towards your lips before making their way back up. "Quinn," your voice came out as a low plea; whether it was to continue or to stop was uncertain. He stepped closer to you as the two of you stood in silence for a brief moment before the doors opened. As you stepped out, your heart felt heavy.

As you made your way towards the front desk, you saw the back of a man at the desk, but when you heard the voice,  it made you freeze. Andrew, he was in your lobby waiting for you, Quinn failed to notice your pause and ran into you. However, before you could tip forward, Quinn had steadied you with a hand on your arm and waist. Andrew called out when he turned around. 

"Andrew! What are you doing here?" You didn't miss the look he gave the sight of the two of you or how his gaze only lingered on Quinn's hand on your waist as he walked closer. You unhooked yourself from Quinn to hug Andrew. The hug was stiff; he held himself higher, and his head hadn't moved from the position it had been in before. You figured he was still looking at Quinn. 

"I wanted to surprise you; we settled a case earlier than expected, so I took a few days off." You had pulled yourself to his side, a view of both him and Quinn. They kept looking towards each other, completely ignoring you. "Well, Andrew, this is my friend I always tell you about, Quinn. He introduced himself the day I moved in, remember? He lives next door to me." Andrew smiled down at you as you continued. "Quinn, you remember Andrew." Quinn looked from you to Andrew before extending his hand. "Good to see you again, man." Andrew hesitated before shaking his hand. 

There was a quick silence before Quinn grabbed his phone from his pocket and looked at the screen, excusing himself, "I have to make a phone call; I'll see you around," but before he could walk off, you gave him a side hug goodbye. You had done it a thousand times before, and feeling like you couldn't because Andrew was there didn't feel like a good sign, so you did it anyway. "I'll text you," you quietly said as you let go.

The next few days had been uneventful, showing Andrew around Vancouver. The hallway had felt unusually empty each time you passed, hoping to run into Quinn. A string of away games was starting that Monday, and when you came back from dropping off Andrew at the airport on Sunday night, you noticed the bag sitting in front of your apartment door. 

The black sweats were inside with a note, 'I'll pick them up when I'm back. Enjoy :). ~ Q" He never asked for them back

———————————————————————

[bloop-bl00p]

Are the suffering and consequences in the room with us?

For a place that is supposed to be Hell, there’s little to no effort into showing that these people are punished. Not necessarily by the Hellborns, I very much like the approach of “Hell is other people” but the writers failed at showing us this aspect. Vivziepop's version of Hell feels more like L.A. painted in red. And that’s disappointing.

It’s still a messed up place but outside of episode 4, there’s no real investment in making sure we understand that this is HELL. We see people do drugs yet we see nobody in a zombie-like state on the street. The closest we had was a randoe in Happy Day in Hell but it was a joke.

This is something very blatant with HH, most of the time, when something serious is presented it’s a joke (Sexual assault, drugs, etc...) It’ll depend on whether you're Viv's favorite character or not.

*cough*

Sir Pentious was not.

*cough*

You also see this in how they approached the crimes committed by characters, most of them did messed up things but Charlie never tries to address these despite being the one supposed to care about redemption.

Vaggie participated in genocide, she was angry but for one episode only, and her rant to Alastor was too light-hearted to be taken seriously (again a joke). Rewatch the scene, with an Alastor that doesn't give a damn, the funny music in the background, her goofy facial expression and tone, that’s not taking it seriously narratively.

Alastor was a serial killer and took pleasure in torturing his victims. Currently, he’s a cannibal and slave owner, Charlie does nothing about it. I’m not asking her to free Husk and Nifty we don’t know if she really can, but she could have had a conversation asking Al to not torture people during his stay at the hotel or treat his employees like humans and not pets.

Angel Dust was part of the mafia. From what we’ve seen he isn't against killing people, in fact, he seems to like it.

Every time we see him fight he’s smiling and enjoying himself, it’s said in the pilot that he’ll never miss an opportunity to help Cherry fight in those turf wars of hers. But his problem is druUuUUugs (this is an issue but that’s the only thing pointed out.)

That’s even more noticeable with the cannibals… who are nice? Whoa… you’re saying that the people whose whole culture is to jump you at your most vulnerable, tear through your flesh with teeth and hands just to feast on you in the middle of the street are actually silly guys and gals who like meat a bit too much. How charming ☺️

She was more annoyed that guts and blood went into her eye than anything.

There isn’t enough effort to showcase the horrors of living in a place where your only chance to survive is to be physically stronger and a good manipulator. When we’re shown something awful like “murders or cannibalizing someone” it’s presented as quirky, and funny, and nobody really mentions it. Aren't we supposed to believe that Hell is a bad place as a whole? Is Extermination really the only thing we have to worry about?

What’s the point of adding concepts like forced labor, addiction, and an unfair hierarchical system if you’re not going to show the viewer the horrendous reality of these things?

Vivziepop needs to pick a consistent tone for her series, there’s nothing wrong with joking about murders and EdgyyYyy humor, but that makes the audience detach from the reality of these things and they will have a hard time caring for a character the second they are portrayed as bad. Especially when the transition between funny and serious is from one episode to another.

“Angel and Husk are suffering!!!!!”

The characters that are supposed to be addicts are sober every time we see them on screen. We see Husk drink alcohol directly from the bottle and rather than showing that the toxins are affecting his body by making him sluggish and/or on the verge of vomiting he’s still able to stand still and hold a conversation perfectly. Even if Husk drank like a sailor, there’s so much alcohol your liver can take before eventually letting it affect your system.

But maybe we could use his addiction in a way to reinforce the fact that he isn't free.

Think of it like this, show a few scenes where Husk is excessively drinking experiencing bad hangovers, and not doing his job correctly as a whole. Vaggie complains about this to Alastor saying that til now he has done nothing significant to help the hotel and the employees he brought aren’t even behaving properly. She threatens him saying that he might get kicked out if this continues.

To that, Alastor could later threaten Husk saying he better fix his drinking habits or he’ll broadcast his scream or whatever. Later Husk would still be drinking but you could have little details of Alastor side-eyeing him and him just letting go of his bottles. He’ll still be sluggish but he’ll make sure he’s sober enough to keep The Radio Demon happy.

We never really felt like Husk’s movements were controlled by Alastor, he was just brought into the hotel without his concent, that sucks, but he can still converse normally with the others. In the Pilot, he insulted Deer Boe in his face with no repercussions. A few more scenes like the one in episode 5 to reinforce the power dynamics between him and Al wouldn't kill.

And Angel Dust how many scenes do we see him do drugs yet his body is able to take it all?

He’s supposed to be an addict, there are few mentions of him hiding things in his room but it's all talking! Talking is not bad, you can talk, but it’s boring and holds NO substances when there isn't SHOWING. Imagine this:

Charlie is worried because it’s been an hour and Angel hasn't come back to the Hotel, she knows his schedule as a sex worker is extremely busy but she usually knows when he comes back and he didn't respond to any of her messages.

Before she could go out to search for him, Cherry burst out into the room, a beaten and knocked out Angel on her shoulder. She was barely standing herself as she was also injured, with many cuts freshly bleeding mainly on her arms and face.

Charlie and the other help her get Angel to his room to tend to his wounds and Cherry’s. When she asks for an explanation Bomb explains that Angel couldn't buy his usual stash of drugs at the local store he went to anymore, as it got plundered right after the end of the extermination, the owner was killed and the shop was vulnerable to thieves.

Angel was looking for a very rare type of drug, made in the Gluttony ring, usually, the things made there take you quickly to cloud nine practically knocking you out in the process. The store he bought it from was the only one with prices affordable enough for him.

He eventually found a gang that was willing to give him a very small portion of drugs in exchange for money. Except that he didn't have nearly enough for what they were asking but he still went with it just after his work in one of Val’s clubs, already a shitty idea since he was exposed to many illicit substances when working with the moth so he wasn’t clean.

Obliviously the gang didn't accept a slip payment and tried to rob and take advantage of him. Cherry stepped up, fought a bit, and escaped with Angel, thanks to her smoke bombs, before things could get too serious. She goes on a small rant about how she and Angel are friends and they mutually help each other, when her wounds are patched up she leaves not before asking Angel to call her when he wakes up. Before she could go Charlie proposed to her to stay at the hotel but Cherry refused stating that there were people in the street who probably needed her help, but she might send people to Charlie’s hotel if she felt like they couldn’t survive in the street.

There’s probably a lot I could fix with this story but that’s just a quick example. What did I manage to convey without blatantly saying it? Angel Dust isn’t in a great financial situation, his addiction is so bad that he’s willing to put himself in danger just to get his hand on the strongest dope and Hell is a fucked up place. I didn't say it I showed it and since you’re smart you understood the subtext.

Some will say that there’s Extermination, but first, we just learned that they can fight back and they have a year to prepare themselves so the stakes are lesser.

Second, it’s surprisingly easy to get angelic weapons.

Someone like Striker managed to get multiple angelic weapons to kill Stolas and a rope that neutralized his powers.

An imp, the cockroach of the society, either his killing business is extremely successful or Carmilla’s prices aren’t that high. And don’t go tell me “Stealaa bought it!!” that’s never implied or stated.

Plus the angel leaves these in the open, I’d say it’s quite easy to get one of those right after an Extermination, nobody was surprised Vaggie has a spear so it feels like it’s common for someone to have them.

[narutouzumakiarchive]

Do you think Naruto is gay or bi?

I think Naruto is gay.

The first interaction between two potential love interests is particularly crucial for setting expectations and establishing the connection between them.

Naruto and Sasuke's first meeting established the tension and rivalry between them but also managed to hint at the romantic undertones in their dynamic with a ship tease moment so iconic that it was

Thought about during Sasuke's dying moments and included in a list of other positive moments as the reason why Sasuke's body moved on it own to protect Naruto

It's the face of the "Accidental Kiss" trope on TVTropes

It was replicated, and subverted, to help set up the potential romantic relationship between their own children, Boruto and Sarada

Naruto and Sakura's first interaction is a completely different story. Naruto transforms to hear Sakura's opinion about him, and ends up hearing Sakura state that she dislikes Naruto and only desperately wants the acknowledgement of Sasuke because she likes him. And what does Naruto respond? He states that he finally understands why he likes her. HELLO? The hero of the manga states that he finally likes the heroine because she likes another boy, his rival to be exact, and wants his attention. It's almost like, Naruto too liked Sasuke and desperately wanted to receive Sasuke's acknowledgement and through this was able to relate to Sakura and project onto her.

Now in order to gain another perspective and try to lessen my bias, I took a look at the opinions of narusaku fans on one of the gayest scenes in the manga, and their belief was that this scene established that Naruto really and earnestly loved Sakura because he respected her dedication and hard work in terms of trying to attract Sasuke. And this explanation is particularly funny because not only is that still gay, but also, we never particularly see Naruto devote extreme attention to admiring Sakura's "dedication." In fact, we only sparsely see Naruto praise Sakura's hard work and it is never in a context that is related to Sasuke.

But you know what we do see? Naruto daydreaming about saving Sasuke. Naruto being extremely happy that Sasuke acknowledged in a text where the desire for acknowledgement is foregrounded as a romantic ideal. Naruto getting, and I'm not making this up, a tingling sensation in his lower parts when receiving acknowledgement from Sasuke.

And there's something more curious. When Sakura begs Naruto to bring back Sasuke, he states that Sakura must really like Sasuke. And then he states, I know how much pain youre in because of Sasuke. I can understand.

Now this is another big narusaku moment, and note that it happens because of Sasuke. This moment is celebrated because it's meant to prove the depths of Naruto's hetero love for Sakura and the lengths he's willing to go for her.

And yet, we have have the power of hindsight. We know that after this moment, Naruto will spend so long chasing Sasuke to the point that it will draw the ire of dudebros and become a meme. We know that Naruto will acknowledge that he is chasing Sasuke because he wants to, outside of any promise. We know that Sasuke will attempt to kill Sakura and threaten to kill every last person in the leaf (which again, includes Sakura) and Naruto will look Sasuke in the face after that, smile, and tell Sasuke that he was happy to have met Sasuke. And we know that when asked to explain the nature of his feelings he will say that ultimately, he feels pain for Sasuke, the same pain that's foregrounded as a romantic ideal in the manga.

Do you see where I'm getting at? Naruto's first interaction with Sasuke was used to establish the unique nature of his dynamic with Sasuke, while Naruto's dynamic with Sakura, the person that were supposed to believe he had a serious and intense heterosexual crush on, was used to foreshadow a bond primarily sustained by the mutual desire for another person.

And Kishimoto is aware of this fact.

I mean look at this scene between Konan and Yahiko. It's a classic romantic set up for an intimate moment. Yahiko and Konan are alone in a room. Konan bandages Yahiko after he's injured. Their eyes lock and they lean in... and we'll you know what's implied.

Now compare this moment to Naruto and Sakura sitting alone in a hospital during a moment that's a classic set up for a romantic scene. I mean things are going great. Naruto is being healed by Sakura and states that his new and dangerous jutsu is no big deal as long as he's got Sakura around to fix me. Naruto looks at Sakura and fondly smiles about how he likes the way things are now. And the moment is tense... why does Naruto like the way things are now? Is it because he's intimately close to Sakura? Let's see what happens on the next page?

NOPE! Naruto is happy because it feels like he and Sakura are on the road to finding Sasuke together. This moment actually makes me guffaw everytime I read it. I mean it's actually comical how Naruto managed to divert the potential romantic nature of a moment that could have been used to build upon his bond with Sakura. But it's also.... very in character for him. Narusaku is always relegated to comedic moments lacking in heartfelt pathos. At its core, it's always been centered on Sasuke.

I won't even bother addressing the Naruto and Hinata dynamic. There truly is nothing of note in their 40 pages and that's why SP had to cobble together scenes, some of which were stolen from Naruto and Sasuke's dynamic, for a genjutsu movie where Naruto was repeatedly insulted for the crime of not paying attention to Hinata.

But the main point is that none of the evidence that Naruto is supposed to be interested is women is meaningful in its own right. I mean if anything, there's a strong argument that it's a result of compulsory heterosexuality. If I dig deep I can think of maybe one scene where Naruto shows attraction to the woman that was used to trick Jiraiya. But is it enough to convince me of deep attraction when the main character's primary foible is acting in particular ways in front of other people to fulfill expectations of how he should act? Well, no.

Especially with all the other host of evidence that points to his attraction to women being a farce. At one point his reaction of "attraction" to a sexy jutsu is deliberately juxtaposed with Sakura's reaction to the sexy boy jutsu in the same chapter and yet the nosebleed that is supposed to signify attraction, the same one that Sakura has, is very obviously missing. Again, this is the same Kishimoto that was able to show Naruto "tingling" when he received the acknowledgement that he desperately wanted from Sasuke.

It simply doesn't add up. Even more so when you compare Naruto's indifference to Sakura's "attractiveness" with the fervor he uses to defend Sasuke's handsomeness.

But anyway, this post is only the tip of the iceberg. The gay or bi Naruto question has been discussed at length in the fandom. The most comprehensive posts I've seen about this are here, here, and here. You'll see the way SP deliberately added narusaku scenes to compensate for Naruto's behavior in the manga. I also like this post about narusaku's "dates" in the manga.

[wrr000]

"Can you be quiet for five minutes?"

AN: hello! i wrote this for fun, it's nothing serious or special, i just needed to do something with myself. hope y'all will enjoy it anyway lol (also, i had that one scene from shrek 2 in mind)

»»————-　♡　————-««

Summary: the night wasn't peaceful for the ghoul because reader talks too much

Warnings: english is not my first language; reader is female; it was supposed to be more of a comedic oneshot; a lot of inner thoughts

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

The night was getting cold. Chilly air mixed with the pleasant warmth emanating from the fire, touching your red cheeks. It was a nice feeling, especially after a whole day of walking in the brutal heat. The sun was killing you and the night was a nice change.

'I fucking hate wasteland', you thought to yourself every day.

Burning sun, disgusting monsters, crazy raiders or even that ghoul, literally everything could kill you any minute. It was hard to survive out there alone ans you knew that. Maybe that was a reason why you didn't ran away from him yet.

"So...", you couldn't stand the silnce anymore, "are you gonna finally untie me?"

You sat by the bonfire with your legs pressed to your chest, staring into the sparkling flames. Hands still tightly tied, of course. The other end of the lasso held the ghoul whom you met a few days ago.

He was sitting on the other side of the fire, leaning against a huge piece of something wooden. He looked like he was sleeping with a cowboy hat covering his face. The ghoul wasn't like anyone you've met before, but you weren't sure if it was a blessing or a curse. He did tied you up after all and have gave you no choice, but to travel with him to God-knows-where. On the positive side - he didn't killed you. And that was something unexpected.

"Hellooo..? Did you hear me, Mr. Ghoul?", you never called him like that before, but you wanted any interaction.

No response. Was he really sleeping or just pretending that he didn't hear you?

It was in his style, to be honest. Ever since you met him, he seemed cold, selfish, like he doesn't care about anything else in the world but him. Sometimes straight up annoying, sometimes kinda funny and nice in a twisted way. These mixed feelings made you somewhat intrigued.

"Listen lady" , he didn't looked at you. "I need some peace and quiet so no stupid questions or talkin', got it?"

"Oh, come on! We have been travelling for days! I'm not gonna do anything stupid", it was this time when he was just annoying as hell.

"I bet you won't, sweetheart", you knew he smirked under that stupid hat.

"So what, are you gonna keep me like this to what? Sell me for chems? Or eat me one day?", you spoke once again. "You know, both options are pretty problematic for you because, I mean, you are really planning to sell skinny, dehydrated girl and hoping for decent payment?", fake scoff escaped your mouth. "Keep dreaming. I am way more useful as a compa-"

By anything stupid you meant something like killing him or running away. First of all, he was very skilled and you knew that attacking him was suicidal mission. Second of all, you could try to escape, but you didn't know if it was even possible with this man and did you really wanted to?

On one hand, there were plenty ways for him to hurt you. Shooting, beating, selling, starving you to death or worse - eating you alive. It was something... common on the wasteland. People were doing everything to survive and as crazy as it sounded, you understood it, the ghoul knew it as well. But on the other hand, after raiders killed your parents, life became harder than before. You hated it and what you hated more was loneliness. You had none, no friend and no family left. Maybe it was delusional, but you hoped for befriending the ghoul and travel with him for a little longer. Or maybe he could help you made it to town where you could stay. In that situation you didn't have many options (it didn't work by force anyway) to consider or anything to lose, to be honest.

"Oh, for fu-", he straightened up, finally looking at you.

You didn't have many opportunities to meet him face to face and take a closer look. Beautiful eyes spoke more than thousand words, that's for sure. The most noticeable thing was the lack of a nose, but aside that the face was handsome. You could imagine how he looked like before the ghoulification. In fact, you always thought that people were exaggerating with their disgust towards non-feral ghouls. They were still humans, right?

"You asked me a milion questions already, while I couldn't ask you one", you heard the irritation in his voice. "You better don't cross the line"

That silence was overhelming. Sure, the sound of camfire was nice, but your thoughts were getting weirder and weirder. You needed something to occupy your mind and because you weren't the best at small talk (or starting a conversation at all) you came up with the stupidest idea.

Classic threating. You rised your tided hands, palms facing him in surrender. It wasn't the right time to ask about the future and you didn't wanna cross the line, at least not that night. He was looking at you for a moment, making sure you wouldn't ask anything else and returned to his previous position.

You stared at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking about and you couldn't read him. Not before, not now and probably not in the near future. He seemed like he could always read your mind while being completely unpredictable to you. What he thought about you? What was his plan? You should be very scared or just scared? Many questions were running in your head, but you couldn't find answer for none.

"What it's like to be a ghoul?", you mentally slapped yourself, but there was no turning back now. "I mean, how did you become a ghoul? It was quick or it was a long process? My parents never told me much about ghouls"

Deep, long sigh escaped his mouth. He looked at you again, not bothering to move his body. Even someone like him lacked words and strength for you.

"Did someone ever told that you talk so much?", a ghost of a smile crept across his face.

"Actually, yes, my father told me that once", you smiled proudly.

"No lesson learned", you quite enjoyed his harsh voice with strange accent. He definitely didn't talk enough. "Can you be quiet for five minutes?"

"Hm, I'm afriad no, Mister", then it striked you. "I don't know your name! I won't shut up until you will told me your name. Wait, you do have a name, right?"

"Yes", you felt annoyed again by his lack of cooperation.

"Well..? You know my name, even you don't use it, may I know yours?"

"Cooper", the ghoul hide his face under the hat again. "Now, let me rest for a while, will ya?"

Bright smile appeared on your face. That was what you called a progress. It was genuinely a cool name and suddenly you started to wonder if he liked yours.

"But...", you heard a growl from under the hat, "we will talk about what to do next? I know how things works out here, but... We don't have to be enemies. I know you want to survive and I don't wanna be your prisoner forever"

You were on thin ice and for the first (and not last) time in your life you couldn't gather your thoughts. You wanted to tell him a lot of things in one go.

"I'm not your enemy, sweetheart, you don't have to worry. Now sleep or I'll have to shoot that pretty face"

You noded quietly. You knew that tomorrow you would try to talk to him again, still hoping for some sort of cooperation or agreement. Your life was on the line, after all. Not to mention that he called you pretty and even another threat couldn't take it away from you. Maybe that was the sign that he doesn't mean no harm to you, there was a hope, at least.

[bibliophilesince2003]

Transformers One In-Depth Review

Transformers One is a must watch.

I’m tired of seeing a bad review go towards a movie that is actually extremely well done, especially if the reviewer hadn’t taken the time to watch it or considered the trailers enough content to draw a review from.

Seriously, it was so refreshing to see a new take on a franchise that has been around for years. In my personal opinion, it’s better than re-makes that offer even less room for creativity.

I am a huge Transformers fan. I grew up with Transformers Prime, and when I was older, I watched the movies. I’ve watched other shows here and there, and while I may not be a complete expert, I know the lore well enough to have been heavily, emotionally impacted by Transformers One.

I’ll start with the "non-spoiler take" followed by the "spoiler take” which will be “hidden” for those who do not want to be spoiled.

"Non-spoiler" take...

Peter Cullen’s voice is legendary. Chris Hemsworth himself acknowledged this in an interview, mentioning that the goal was to “re-create” and “do something new.” He intended to represent a “youthful, brash, and cocky version” of Orion Pax before he was known as Optimus Prime. This is a realistic representation. In Transformers Prime, Ratchet states that Optimus Prime was more like Jack in his youth. For those of you who don’t know, Jack is a strong-willed, selfless, but slightly impulsive teenager, as all teenagers should be. It is clear that Hemsworth has evaluated “hints” that other movies and shows have provided. Hemsworth wanted to “lean into” a more serious voice towards the end of Transformers One. He insisted “he wouldn’t dare mimic Peter Cullen.” I highly respect his choices, and he does not deserve the amount of hate thrown at him. Now, Orion Pax also comes across as a humble, soft-spoken character in other movies and shows. However, I can see why they would lean into his impulsiveness to better highlight and contrast the relationship between Orion Pax and D-16, especially as D-16’s true colors show. More about that in the “spoiler” section, though!

No, it would not have made sense for Orion Pax to have a deep, majestic voice. That comes with experience; that comes with hard decisions. Quite honestly, Hemsworth is pretty close to what I had imagined Orion Pax to sound like. It’s still slightly deep, and very soothing.

The character development in this movie? Oh. My. Word. Guys, as a writer, I can say that subtle character development – the best kind – is not easy to do. In Transformers One, it flowed naturally. It made me smile. It broke my heart. If you’ve seen other Transformers movies and shows, brace yourself. If you haven’t, still brace yourself. Again, more about that in the “spoiler” section.

The humor in the trailers has been re-posted so heavily I think it’s beginning to lose its effect and people, not knowing the context, are quick to judge. Yes, Bee is funny. It’s Bee. He’s supposed to be lovable, humorous, loyal, and powerful. I found no issue with most of the humor coming from him. There is more humor that is not mentioned in the trailers that is really worth chuckling over.

Finally, the fight scenes were clean, the animation was captivating, and the incredible Brian Tyler produced musical masterpieces for most every scene, some of it connecting to other movies and shows.

"Spoiler" take, now!

I expected to dislike Elita. Really, I did. I knew she was the “love interest” for Optimus Prime beforehand and expected big things from her, because Optimus Prime never struck me as having a “love interest” in the past. Not only that, but I expected her to be the female character I seem to find everywhere these days who strives to be better than everyone else without a lick of experience, complaining about the male figures in her life.

Elita, however, is ambitious. She leads. She doesn’t have to prove anything; she’s simply willing to work hard and do her job. Understandably, she gets upset with Orion Pax and the others when they interrupt her progress, though I can’t help but be amused by Orion Pax’s shy attempt to get her attention and adored his subtle acts of kindness. Sure, she’s a tad bit aggressive – she did punch Orion Pax, after all – but I really enjoyed seeing her adapt. When Orion Pax was feeling hopeless, she was there to encourage him. If she had stopped talking immediately after saying “I’m better” I would have been frustrated. Orion Pax and D-16 are the main characters in Transformers One, after all. She didn’t stop there, though. She highlighted the most important aspects of Orion Pax; his good heart, selflessness, and bravery. She told Shockwave and the others to shut up and listen to Orion Pax when they doubted his plan. She encouraged him to speak louder when others couldn’t hear him. She leaned towards the pit when Orion Pax fell.

Not only that, but Orion Pax was incredibly patient with her. He woke her up when she was unconscious and immediately took a punch to the face like a champ. He gently, subtlety smiled at her when they traveled to the surface and Elita announced "it's beautiful." He cried out her name and pushed her out of the way to save her during a battle. He listened to her. He told her to beat Arachnid “gently” when Elita managed to detain her, proving he fully understood Elita’s personality.

I’m sorry, but this kind of relationship takes the cake. If they’re meant to be a couple, I can see the signs. I love how well they work together and build each other up.

Bee is an icon. One of my favorite scenes is him eagerly saying to Orion Pax “I’m going to go cut these guys up, watch! C’MERE!” It’s like a proud kid trying to get their parent to watch. I love how loyal he is to Orion Pax right off the bat.

While they changed some lore in Transformers One, they included everything that was important. Orion Pax and D-16 are miners, but it seems Orion Pax may have been a clerk beforehand. When he broke into the archives, he seemed to know where he was going. When he ran, I can’t remember exactly, but I believe he was muttering numbers? I don’t mind the small twists and can see how they were necessary for the story; key details are kept.

Jazz and Ratchet mention! I was so excited to hear their names. Kind of wish they had shown Ratchet, maybe shouting “I needed that!” to a fumbling worker. Sorry, Transformers Prime reference.

Arachnid had an incredible design.

Sentinel is a well-written, hate-worthy villain. I… did not expect D-16 to rip him in half, though.

Also… can I just mention how epic that particular scene was? The switch from D-16 reaching his peak character development – showing no mercy – while Orion Pax reached his – making the ultimate sacrifice to preserve life and do things the right way; receiving the Matrix of Leadership. The music, the animation, the slow-motion… everything was incredibly cinematic.

Obviously, D-16 took things too far. I appreciated the fact that he didn’t just wake up one day and decide to be evil. It took time. It took motivation. Obviously, any sane person would stand with Optimus Prime, though he does make mistakes from time to time, but it was incredibly neat to actually appreciate D-16’s insight in the beginning, then notice the shift and feel every bit of emotion Orion Pax felt.

People say the ending is rushed, or that D-16’s change came too abruptly without any good motivation. Sure, the ending may be a little rushed, but movies are typically structured this way. Falling action does not have a set speed; it just needs to be well done. Bad things happen in a rush, and this leaves ample opportunity for the “good guys” to react a little too slowly. As for D-16’s motivation… even a person can take their worship of an item or figure too far. Megatronus was someone to look up to in D-16’s eyes. He agreed to Orion Pax’s plans, or at least tolerated them, but his admiration for Megatronus was his own interest. Orion Pax threatened that vision. D-16 wanted to kill Sentinel to satisfy his own needs and desires, not to liberate others. Sentinel deserved death after committing murder, yes. He didn’t, however, deserve a public execution, especially as he tried to get away and was relatively defenseless. Remember, Sentinel told D-16 and Bee that he would execute them in front of everyone. We can acknowledge his promise as brutal, so shouldn't D-16's actions be considered brutal, too? No "reason" could ever justify it.

When D-16 let Orion Pax drop, he proved he no longer cared about loyalty. The least he could do was hoist Orion Pax’s body up or break down after losing what he once called his best friend, but he didn’t.

It’s ironic… D-16 said “I’m done saving you” when in reality, Orion Pax was trying to save D-16 from doing something he knew D-16 should have regretted doing. Normally, yes, D-16 is the voice of reason, but not in this case. For once, this is where Orion Pax’s true personality shines through. His spark – the spark of a Prime – is in the right place. Orion Pax puts joking aside when serious matters arise. It seems D-16 didn’t really know his friend after all. The actions D-16 committed, my friends, are not actions you want to celebrate.

I really, really hope Transformers One gains more attention. We need the sequel! Transformers fans, tell your friends. Give an honest review, which are of more value than the reviews given by those who didn’t take the time to watch it. Hype it up and roll out!

[thishazbinamistake]

Spoilers.

Episode 6 was overall pretty decent, but it was the episode that truly made me realize just how much I hate the swearing in Vivzie's shows. Like, I know people like to joke about her bizarre obsession with cursing, but in my opinion, it genuinely, actively harms the worldbuilding and tone of her series.

In Hell, people swearing makes sense, and as obnoxious as I find it, I can look past it. Hell is supposed to be chaotic and raunchy, so it checks out that its residents would have little regard for politeness and social etiquette. But when we're introduced to Heaven, this supposedly very clean-cut and conservative society, and the angels regularly curse there as well, it makes the whole dichotomy between the two feel much weaker. It would be one thing if it was just Adam who swore a lot, and he was treated as sort of an outlier, but literally the first angel Charlie and Vaggie meet at the golden gates says fuck! Why?! There was no point to it. It wasn't even funny!

And then, there was the court room scene. As always, Adam is cursing every other word because that's his entire personality, I guess. None of the others seem to think anything of this angel talking like this, but when the literal princess of Hell says fuck once, Sera and Emily look all shocked and disapproving like it's the most blasphemous thing they've ever heard. Why?! Have you not been hearing the shit that's been coming out of Adam's mouth for the past 10 minutes??

It would have made way more sense and honestly been way funnier if angels absolutely never swore, and Charlie swearing was sort of a culture shock to them. And if they really wanted to keep Adam as a foul-mouthed dickhead, he could have at least put up a more polite and chaste front to give the impression that he's a well-behaved angel in front of the Seraphim. It was so hypocritical and nonsensical to the point it honestly feels like a writing oversight.

By far the worst example of all this to me is the ending of the episode. It's revealed to Charlie that Vaggie was once an exterminator, to the shock and horror of the both of them. This is portrayed as an extremely serious and dire revelation that could potentially change the two's relationship forever. I felt a lot of suspense, and it honestly made me hold my breath for a moment...

...but then it's immediately followed up by Adam saying "Oh, fuck yes! Suck it, bitches!" in his annoying surfer-dude voice and it just completely shatters the tone to pieces. Any and all tension is just gone.

This is just straight up awful writing. Like we laugh at the memes but I genuinely hate Vivzie's juvenile obsession with swearing. It's not funny, it's not subversive, it's not even mature; it's just distracting, cringeworthy, and obnoxious. We can't even have a single serious moment without it being ruined with "haha fuck lol bitch!!" all because going three seconds without a swear word apparently makes Vivziepop break out into hives.

[crooked-wasteland]

i feel like that clip gets worse the more i think about it. like;

1. why does charlie treat baxter like a replacement for sir pentious? why is she treating one of the only patrons she had a connection to (at least a hell of a lot more of a connection then she has with angel,) as if hes easily replaceable? like, i know its supposed to be funny because they roughly fit the same trope of "wacky evil guy who makes evil stuff", and it IS funny.. when i dont actually think of the implication of how charlie is treating sir pentious in memory through the way she talks about him after he was killed right in front of her. its like they thought about how funny the joke would be before they thought about charlie and sir pentious's relationship in s1, and just went with that so they wouldn't have to write charlie acting any different. which sucks, because charlie legitimately mourning him would be a GREAT conflict for the main character to have in s2. tbh they still might do that so they can have their cake and eat it too, but i dont know if itll feel sincere after that scene with her and baxter.

2. does she know sir pentious is alive in heaven? how could she know? nothing about the way she speaks in the clip makes me think so, but at least if she knew he was actually okay and redeemed, you'd resolve the issue of her trying to replace some guy who died defending HER hotel with his life, and the issue of her having no reason to redeem sinners after learning heaven is corrupt and seemingly wont let in even the sinners in that deserve redemption. because replacing someone in a cast whos technically still living in heaven isnt nearly as bad, and his existence alone would probably be proof enough alone to motivate charlie to keep trying to redeem sinners, which would be especially satisfying after her faith in heaven would understandably be broken after the trial and the extermination coming right to her hotels front door. so knowing that, this is probably whats NOT going to happen

3. why is she specifically even trying to replace sir pentious anyway? is it a coping mechanism after her loss of him? its obviously comedic so we're not supposed to take it seriously, which means the writers probably wanted to make a joke about how obviously baxter is going to be the replacement for sir pentious's role at the hotel, god i wish we had seen them interact together at a voxtech con in a competition like in vivs old post pilot series pitch in 2019 but i'd argue its a joke at the expense of charlies character development. the way she acts in that clip is something i'd expect from s1 charlie, but not s2 after everything that happened to her.

i think s1 had the issue in general of making things funny or fun over making them make sense for the characters in context, so its not surprising to see that issue happen again. it's just slightly more infuriating when you remember hazbin was supposed to be the serious show compared to helluva, but now hazbin has way too many mean spirited or dumb jokes at the expense of its own characters youre supposed to automatically care about, just for comedys sake, and helluva became the soap drama nobody asked for.

Absolutely! I side stepped my own opinions as I genuinely wanted to see what others had to say, and @tommycorriander pretty much hit that nail on the head for my interpretation of the narrative. The biggest issue is how the first season elected to prioritize things happening over their characters and their relationships. We never actually see the cast grow close over the season, we are simply told that's what happened.

But by mixing together Pentious and Baxter, my first inclination was that, yes, outside of superficial characteristics, Charlie cannot connect to sinners. They are all the same to her, and based on her character being so broad and general in her appraisal of Sinners, it definitely feels like she doesn't see them as individuals.

And the travesty is that if the show actually went in that direction, I would eagerly welcome it. I would love to see some self-awareness from the writers and a character with a legitimate flaw of personality; not just "she made a mistake, but her heart is in the right place" contrivances that have riddled all of Medrano's work. I would love to see that story of Charlie being forced to change as a person, and I would probably love Charlie as a character as well if the show went this route. Instead, good characters just do bad things but with good intentions. Instead of good people actually being complicated creatures with some genuine flaws of character that they are always working to mitigate and be better.

Characters who are working to be good people feel like good people. Those that just act good with no effort feel conniving or disconnected and apathetic. They feel fake and vapid. Having it be a genuine effort would do so much in giving Charlie some ounce of depth.

[devildomwriter]

Horror Movie Marathon: They React to Llamageddon

Lucifer

• He does not want to watch it but he wants to know why the hell you want him to.

• He is completely blocking this out, he will pretend to watch it when you’re looking at him but he’s really thinking about tracking down whoever wrote this.

• Sax music has been ruined for him for a long time to come.

• “The llama did a fine job” is his only commentary.

• You should watch whatever he wants next if you want him to sit through this

Mammon

• He’s laughing so hard.

• He’s looking up how much a movie of that quality made because he knows he can outdo it.

• He finds it genuinely funny, like what the fuck are they doing? He never knows what’s gonna happen next. Will the llama smoke weed or bitch slap someone? You literally never know.

• Mammon, being himself, doesn’t look at Llamas the same way after the movie

Leviathan

• He’s never even seen hentai this level of weird—possibly?

• He’s gawking at the screen and not even eating the popcorn, just looking horrified

• “Why is that animated? Of course there’s tentacles!?”

• He keeps criticizing the camera positioning and making wild hand gestures

• What the hell did you get him to watch? The llama is pretty funny though. “Yeah! Kick the normie’s heart out”

• He no longer feels ashamed of his anime choices because he just had to watch a llama/human birth scene or whatever that was supposed to be

Satan

• He’s judging you so hard. How did you even find this movie and why would you watch it with him?

• He’s wondering if these people are serious through the entire film

• “Why is that one guy wearing a different shirt in literally every shot?”

• “How would the llama know to throw something electoral in the hot tub? And it does not take that long to die from electrocution.”

• He only enjoys the llama killing people and feels bad when the llama is killed.

• “I have no words…” he is not letting you pick out the next movie

Asmodeus

• “Literally what the fuck am I watching? Is that supposed to be a sex scene???”

• “Why the fuck is there so much sax music, it’s not that sexy! What’s happening?”

• “Eventually he just starts talking to the movie because he can’t sit and watch it seriously.”

• Horrified gasps and fake faints throughout the movie.

• “Poor llama! Those weird people deserved that!”

Beelzebub

He’s just watching. He honestly doesn’t care about quality, he’s here for a story which kind of happens.

The blood made him hungry for meat so now he’s got steak in addition to popcorn

Wonders if space llamas taste any good. They might be spicy if they can blow stuff up.

He really doesn’t have an opinion he just can’t figure out what happened and why.

Belphegor

• “The fuck did you put on…”

• Tries to go to sleep but it’s so weird he can’t take his eyes off screen and that kind of annoys him because it’s just so bad and it’s completely on purpose

• Has a personal grudge against the director but is laughing so hard when someone gets blown up by the CGI lasers.

• He’s secretly rooting for the llama because he thinks its fluff might be comfortable

• He has some weird dreams about llamas for a few nights after

Solomon

• Straight up says “no” he’s not watching it but he ends up doing so anyway when you beg him to watch it with you

• He’s not enthused and is hoping chewing his food will tune the sound out but the weird sex scenes and close ups have him choking on the food.

• “I’ve watching humanity grow for so long and accumulates…to this…”

• He does laugh at some point because it’s just so stupid is funny. He’s dying because how is this a movie?

• And then it gets even weirder and he’s sighing into a pillow and hiding his laughter

Thirteen

• Immediately tries to turn it off unless you tell her there’s some good traps in the movie

• She’s waiting for them impatiently but she does get a few—very violent ideas

• “Why’d that girl’s face never change. She’s not even acting? Why’s that guys shirt keep changing? No one kisses like that!? What is this!? MC—“

• She’s never watching a movie you recommend again unless it’s reviews are near-perfect

• She wanted to llama to win because the humans were too annoying

“I wonder is Solomon would survive a turbine?”

Simeon

How dare you play a movie with sex scenes while Simeon is there and they’re not even sexy, it’s weird as hell.

• They’re throwing a party at the home someone was murdered in?

• What are you showing him. It just keeps getting weirder, and is that a fluffy egg? Is that human birthing a egg!???

• He’s got a pillow to the chest. He’s not scared, he’s so incredibly weirded out he’s kind of frozen.

• He does not let you pick out the next movie, he needs to pet real llamas to get over that weird movie.

• Tells you this movie is why you shouldn’t do drugs. You should also start avoiding other humans.

Raphael

• He’s giving you a lot of judgmental looks

• “Someone was just murdered there and they’re having a party?”

• The weird close ups and tongue wagging gross him out.

• If you find a mysterious substance on a tree, do not emerge yourself in it? He’s shaking his head so much.

• He feels bad for the llama because it did nothing wrong and has to hang out with loud college kids

• Mildly amused by the dads parting words of how to kill future space llamas and then there’s cries of more. He hopes that means they’re won’t be a sequel.

Mephistopheles

• A stupefied expression on his face the whole time.

• Is this a joke or are they trying to be serious because he can’t decided and he wants to strangle the actors—his standards are way too high for b horror movies

• This human government has the worst investigative skills ever. Why would they leave the remains of the ship? How did they not see the goo? Are they really just not doing to address a fluffy egg?

• This is why he doesn’t attend college parties, are they all this weird. Have the humans truly lost it.

• How dare they disrespect sax music.

• His investigative method will lead him to find the real names of the actors and personally chastise them

Barbatos

• Each time something cringey happens he takes a good long look at you, judging your choice in movies

• Why would you show this to him? Why was this even made

• He doesn’t even have the energy to sigh while watching this.

• If he goes to make tea and you pause the movie until he gets back he will be internally very upset but try not to show it

• Even a time lord does not have the time for this movie but he sits there anyway, mostly looking at you as you die laughing from its stupidity.

Diavolo

• It’s so bad he’s laughing. They know what they’re doing, it’s crap and they’re embracing it.

• Only enjoys the llama and the bad special effects

• He literally won’t stop laughing.

• He feels like the actors are his friends goofing off behind the camera and it’s bringing tears to his eyes.

• He assigns them random names, “no, the llama got John!”

• “…is he….turning into a llama? Oh now it’s animated… oh no…is he giving birth?”

• Ever the optimistic he gives them an A for effort and is still laughing long after the movie is over.

• “Humans are so interesting…”

[yyawnjun]

5.33am SUNGHOON [ 성훈 ]

a.n: it was supposed to be a short one-shot for my jealous!enha boys series…I don't know how a 1.6k wc one came out…and I don't think it's right for the series but it was so cool to write it😭

anyway...please let me know your opinions and hcs !! comments, like and reblogs are always greatly appreciated. I hope y'all will like it ♡

fluff!! ; hoon being hoon ; a creepy man appears but nothing serious happens ; sign a petition for yn and hoon to say OUT LOUD what they think

Since you had to catch the bus at 5.30 am to visit your family, you did get up at 4.55 am as planned. Your mother's birthday fell on the day you moved away from your hometown two months ago, so you decided to surprise her.

You were lucky to discover a low bus ticket that would have taken you there in just five hours. Everything was unplanned; you bought it the day before and quickly packed your things into a small but comfortable rucksack. 

It was 5.10 am, and you were leaving the house. Your apartment was only 10 mins by foot to the bus station, so you did not rush. There was none around except for an old lady walking on the opposite side of the road and a few cars. Some birds were already awake, and the sun was rising, it was when almost everyone was still asleep or slowly people were getting up to start their day. A new day was about to start for everyone, your heart was light, and you were happy.

You were lost in your thoughts that you did not realize that you stopped yourself while looking at the clouds in the sky. You come back to the world only when a boy runner next to you screaming: "HE'S GONNA KILL ME IF I MISS THIS BUS TOOOO"

You did not even check the time; you started to run too. Because actually, your "natural clock" understood that you were late.

Indeed, when you arrived at the station, you looked at your phone which showed 5.33 am.

You missed your bus...and you could not even say it to anyone, because it was a surprise. Discouraged, you went to the ticket office to see if to buy a ticket for the next bus that would be passing in just an hour.

It was summer, so the natural light was already there, but still a bit of fear there was because you were alone, but it was replaced by laughter when you saw the boy, who had run earlier near to you, on his knees in front of the man in the ticket office begging him to find him a bus that would arrive there before an hour.

He was so funny while literally kneeling for a bus ticket at 5.35am. The man looked so annoyed, but after a good five minutes, his prayers worked. 

Indeed there was a special bus - the number 5 - that only for that day was active, and that would arrive in 33 minutes.

You never thought you could see someone's mood change so quickly; he would have hugged the man if there was no glass separating them. Happier than ever, the boy buys his ticket and turns to go to wait for the bus. That's when he notices you and guesses - from your amused expression - that you had seen the scene.

After a quick nod and a thinly veiled smile, he walks past you and goes to wait for the bus.

It was thanks to him that you found out about bus number 5, which was also perfect for you. So you immediately bought your ticket and went to wait patiently for the bus.

As you expected, you met the boy there again. He was seated on the only bench there, where you would soon be joining him. 

You greeted each other with a simple smile and head nod; by this point, you were companion victims of misfortune on that summer morning.

So you sat, put your earphones on, and waited while looking around and letting your thoughts run free. 

You could tell that he kinda did the same because after 15 mins you felt something - or better, someone - graving on your shoulder.

Yes, the bus would arrive in 33 minutes at 6:08 a.m., but the funny boy only after 15 mins of waiting falls on your shoulder.

You were a bit hesitant to wake him up because he looked so peaceful while sleeping.

He had closed eyes and a steady breathing pattern, and his lips and his cheeks were flushed pink. His dark black hair and eyebrows created a contrast with his pale skin and total-white outfit.

A mole on his note distinguished him, and knowing the legend of moles - it says they are said to be the place where, in another life, your soulmate loved to kiss you - you smiled.  When you had to gently touch him to wake him awake because the bus had arrived, you blushed a little more.

Oh yes, 18 minutes passed after he had dozed off on your shoulder...

You quickly got on the bus after waking him up, and he immediately boarded behind you after mumbling an awkward thank you.

The bus was so full of men at that hour, and most of them seemed to be surprised by your arrival.

You did not feel comfortable at all, but you decided to ignore everyone turning up the volume of your music and sitting in the only empty place. Luckily none was sitting next to you, you were safe you thought. 

However, you started to feel truly scared when you noticed a man, who must have been in his 50s, standing up and walking toward you.

As fate would have it, the clumsy boy, your company of misfortune also saw, and he immediately sat down in the seat next to yours. At that moment your music stopped, and you heart lost a few beats.

"Not gonna lie, that man creeped me out too. Hope it is okay if I sat next to you; I would never leave a pretty girl alone with someone like him" he whispered while still looking at that man with dead eyes.

Your eyes brightened in response to his words, and you thanked him. 

"Young boy leave that seat and let me sit next to the beautiful girl." Just hearing those words was enough to send shivers down your spine.

Instinctively, you reached for the boy's shirt hoping he would not leave you with that old man.

He wasn't going to let go, on the contrary, he said:

"She's my girlfriend, you'd better stop bothering her."

Your heart began to beat faster and faster, adrenaline and anxiety were invading your heart, and you felt helpless.

"Oh sure. I bet you just met her. Why such a beautiful girl should be with someone like you. Hmm? What do you say?" the man asked, turning to you.

He was about to answer back but you anticipated him by saying.

"You better shut up before I call the police. Leave me and my boyfriend alone.. and I don't need me to explain to you idiot why I am dating this handsome boy."

Now is the boy's heart that was beating fast. 

"The bus is moving. A message to the man who is bothering the girl. You had better sit down before you falls and the police have to meet you at the hospital instead of the next stop" 

The driver's voice was heard everywhere, and the timing almost scared you. 

Someone had also called the police, and the man would have been reported soon.

Even though you were safe at this point, your heart continued to race since so much had happened so quickly.

You eventually turned to look at the boy who helped you after the grumbling man had moved away from you.

"Thank you so so much. You saved me," you said, but he was not looking at you-

He was glancing down at the bottoms of his shoes while his hands were covering his face.

"Is everything alright? Are you okay?" you asked worried.

And he finally turned to you almost screaming

"SO WAIT DO YOU REALLY THINK I AM HANDSOME?"

But he quickly tried to ignore your confused expression as he attempted to regain his calm and added, "It's nothing; I acted on instinct. I couldn't bear that creepy man would sit next to you. Hope you are okay now"

He wanted to finish his sentence with "pretty girl" because he truly meant it. Although it could have worried you, he chose not to.

Even though you too really meant what you had said - that he was a beautiful guy - you preferred to ignore his question too.

"I'm fine thanks, and nice to meet my name is Y/n."

"Park Sunghoon. My name is Park Sunghoon, nice to meet you" 

"Well Park Sunghoon if you also have to get off at the last stop, I guess we have a long journey ahead of us," 

"Yes y/n, but I think that by staying right next to you, the time will pass more quickly," he replied without thinking.

You nodded in agreement as you internally chuckled at the sound of your name coming out of his mouth. 

He was very kind and easy to talk to since you discovered that you had a lot of things in common - for example he too was going to the surprise party of a friend of his in the same city as you.

While talking you find out that you enjoy the same singers and songs, and that is how you ended up sharing your earphones while your playlist was playing.

Sunghoon however, fell asleep off again and let his head fall forward when the softer section of your songs began to play.

Oh, and the reason you gently shifted his head to your shoulder was for no other reason than to make him more comfortable…right?

serie> hee ; hoon ; jay ; jake ; sunoo ; jgwon ; niki

[blues-valentine]

A random analysis but I have to give it to NHIE for always keeping the dreams vs reality themes of the show and how Devi never viewed Ben as a romanticized ideal.

All of Devi’s “love interests” were introduced to her by a “slow motion” entrance. Paxton, Des and Ethan. To symbolize a very superficial, rather romanticized view. Ben’s introduction on the pilot by contrast is framed by him looking back at her with the announcement “and this is Devi’s nemesis”, painting him as an equal and also as someone that integral to Devi’s life.

And I kinda like that during their moment at the finale, there's a slow motion happening but it's not for Ben or Devi, its for their moment.

On 201, right off the bat, McEnroe’s narration feels like it’s tainted in sarcasm. “Devi lay in her bed pondering these two grand romantic gestures. Ben had broken the law, stolen his Dad's car, and risked his life to help her say goodbye to her dad, but Paxton had left her a voicemail.” because for Devi, just the idea that the popular hot guy left her a voicemail is epic. Season 2 has a theme of Devi romanticizing a lot of Paxton’s minimal actions, including the status of their relationship because then later Devi found out that she romanticized all of their interactions to the point she didn't even notice he didn't call her his girlfriend once.

210 is called “…been a perfect girl” and I think we know by now that Devi’s idea of “perfection” was about external views. In this finale, she ends up with Paxton in what feels like a perfect picture (that later was referenced as a dream that she outgrew with Dr. Ryan) and the catch is that the first thing Devi says is “So, I guess I am Paxton’s Hall Yoshida’s girlfriend now”. Not just Paxton, but his full name, because it’s his full name the one that brings out the status of his entire persona, just like when she wrote his full name on her grief journal on the pilot.

Yes, Devi referring to Paxton majority of Season 1 and Season 2 by his full name matters a lot.

And funny enough, Paxton and Devi never get to actually dance a romantic song during winter prom. And it gets brough up by Devi yelling "are you serious? now you play a fast song?" so “their song” ends up being Ben’s song. Say Something by Kylie Minogue was playing during their dance and narrating Ben’s internal struggles about Devi. Not highlighting anything significant about Devi and Paxton's new status.

(and after "She wanted to chose you. It's not always been him" scene I don't know how there was any doubt it was always going to be Ben.)

With Devi and Paxton’s “couple entrance” on 301 the narration says “this is what fairy tales are made of” with Dreams of You playing.

A lot of the problem with Devi's relationship with Paxton was not only her insecurities but the fact she never was able to see him for him. Not in the ways she always saw Ben. And for someone that still wanted validation from the crowd it was hard to let go of that idea, which is why she needed to date Paxton first.

Catch this, for 304, the song playing when Des and Devi are in the car says "looking for the next thing, looking for that next dream."

On 310, Devi doesn’t have stomach knots with Paxton because she finally got over that idea. She dated him, she knew was it feels like. There won’t be “what if…” in her future. She learned to value herself, she gathered experiences and so those rose colored ideas of him went away.

209/409 being parallels of each other was great too because for 209 we have Paxton smoothly climbing Devi’s window to make out. It is supposed to be sexy and forbidden. Similar to Devi's dream on 102. In contrast, 409 does the same thing with Ben and even jokes about it. Ben’s entrance is way less smooth, he is panting and even asks Devi if Paxton used to do that all the time because it's treacherous. Devi responds very nonchalantly with “it always seemed pretty easy for him”. And there's a reason that interaction was written. It’s almost as if to show her illusion of Paxton has completely washed off. She not longer views it as a grand thing he did and instead we have Ben being a very real person. And I love how instead of making out under some blurred lines, it’s just Ben going to her so he can comfort her and they ended up having a very real conversation that ends with them falling sleep.

The show illustrates these themes with the soundtrack as well. Devi and Paxton’s songs usually have a very sexy vibe and cover themes around dreams, illusions and failing relationships. Example: Playing Games, Heat Waves, Dreams Of You, Love Goes, Fire For You. While Ben and Devi's songs are usually about a love that won't go away and the one you have been waiting for. Example: Boys Like You, Take Off, Eres Tu, Running, My Rose, Fade Into You. @rainparadefromhell has a post talking about the meaning of the soundtrack in lenght (here).

Season 3 does a great job illustrating by the end that Devi has finally come to terms with Paxton as a dream she held onto as a distraction from her grief. Season 3 finale had Dr. Ryan tell Devi: “When you lock yourself into a dream of what your life should be, you limit yourself.” And process to tell Devi she’s been locked up into a very particular dream since the show started: dating the hottest and most popular guy at school (Paxton), wanting to be miss popular and go to Princeton and that she probably has outgrown some of those dreams. It goes to tell Devi (and the audience) she’s not the same girl from freshman/sophomore year.

Devi accepts her words because she knows it’s true. That dream was only the means for Devi to feel the acceptance and normalcy she craved after a traumatic event. And once she is able to recognize that for herself and to Paxton, it all suddenly makes sense. Ben is the one she has always wanted. Ben with his flaws and sense of groundedness. She wanted him ever since Malibu and that's never going to change. So, later the narration goes “…her dream had evolved…but there was maybe a part of the old dream that still interested her, and per Dr. Ryan, she was about to surprise herself.” And she goes to Ben. He represents both her old and new dreams because he is a constant.

At the end of the day, when it comes to Devi making choices closer to her own wants and needs, she always goes to Ben. Once Devi understood what those old dreams meant for herself. It was game over. By chosing to sleep with Ben, she made her choice. On Season 4, Paxton was not a choice. She wasn't confused about her feelings. Ethan was not a choice either. It was always Ben. There was no one for Devi but Ben. And no one for Ben but Devi. The triangle ended the moment Devi came off from those rose colored lenses on Season 3 and when she is able to form a friendship with Paxton and finally see him as an equal. She doesn’t want him back because she’s never been in love with him. She's in love with Ben.

[oneatlatime]

The Tales of Ba Sing Se PART 1

Once upon a time in Ba Sing Se, the Gaang got Appa back. The end. Please?

This title sounds rather expositiony, but last episode was already a plot/exposition dump, and a rather dark one at that. So who knows? Not me.

Sokka hun I think you're supposed to shave with a blade slightly less substantial than that.

I am fascinated by the hair loopies. I always thought that they were braided in, but they clip in. Does she have a magnet in her braid that they clip in to? A lego type system?

CAT

Toph's morning routine is uncomfortably close to mine.

I know Toph likes being slobby to stick it to the man, but wouldn't it also help with her spatial awareness if she's always sporting a healthy coating of earth? Maybe she can sense where her limbs are better or something?

"Spa day!" "Do I have to?" UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE GUYS.

That has got to be torture. How would you like a pumice stone to the eyeballs?

Now THAT'S a healthy coating of earth.

You're not usually into that stuff? You got dolled up last episode.

Are there voice acting awards? Because whoever voiced these guys needs one. I have never in my life heard such perfectly distilled middle school clique bitch impression.

That's cathartic.

Katara's smothering/mothering tendencies usually annoy me, but it's a good thing those means girls happened when Katara was around, because this calls for serious hugs. I almost want to say that it's out of character to see Toph not be 100% sure of herself, but I think it adds character instead.

Do you think anyone's ever told Toph before that she's really pretty? Ever?

That's a good hug.

Is this short stories? Like an anthology? TALES of Ba Sing Se. Like day in the life? Ok. I'm going to break this up for ease of reading/writing.

The Tale of Iroh

If Iroh hadn't distinguished himself by making the best tea in the city, he would have come to everyone's attention anyway by single handedly fixing everyone's personal problems.

Bending soccer. Why didn't I think of that?

His voice is funny in this scene. Also isn't honour a fire nation thing?

One of my absolute favourite things about Iroh is that his philosophical side is always balanced out by a practical side. He's always philosophising but he's also always grounded. Sometimes hightailing it is what needs doing. Sometimes your sister is crazy and needs to go down.

You know you're bad at crime when your poor stance actually offends the guy you're mugging.

I also like how Iroh really doesn't moralise. He'll teach this guy what conditions the moonflower likes; he'll teach this guy how to mug better. Knowledge is for sharing, no judgment attached!

Random mugger speedruns Zuko's arc.

So pretty. It's been a while since there's been good pretty.

oh shit

ok

Now I have questions!

The Tale of Aang

Writers take note: You see this sad face? You see what you've done to my boy? You can reverse it with one simple trick! GIVE HIM APPA BACK.

I love this. Can't help Appa, so Aang helps every other animal in Ba Sing Se instead.

I want to know what this is. Monkey panther?

I didn't realise until now how tall platypus bears were.

CABBAGE GUY! HI!

Actual dragonflies. Punny.

I love these. My nomination for cutest atla animal.

I hope that wasn't required agricultural land. Should have put the zoo near the drill instead. That land already looked close to salted.

This was some Toph level bending. Love to see Aang's skills progress.

Turtle seal's got competition for cutest animal.

Just call this portion the petting zoo and it's a win.

The Tale of Sokka

Something I don't talk about enough is Sokka's supernatural skill with that boomerang. The realistic explanation is that he's spent every spare minute since receiving it honing his skills by chucking it at random piles of snow, but I like to think he's a boomerang bender. Actually wouldn't boomerang bending be a manifestation of latent airbending tendencies?

I make this face at lasagne.

I may have to make another Sokka's Stupid Faces post.

There is nothing oaflike about falling out of a window and into a Haiku. He was even polite about it!

Somebody introduce Sokka to flyting.

Forget about being a warrior, Aang needs to end this war yesterday so that Sokka can go be a poet. Warrior poet. He's way too creative to waste on cannon fodder.

Poetry bouncer. The longer I think about that the funnier it gets.

Betrayed by hubris.

A Poetry bouncer. Who comes up with this stuff? How do you come up with that? I keep thinking about a poetry bouncer and I keep giggling.

I'm breaking this post here as I'm reaching the image limit. Part 2 coming immediately!

[mangoshorthand]

I know there’s a scene in season 3 where five is singing at diego and lila’a wedding and i’m so in love with that scene 😭 I wish there was more to it especially since drunk five is the best five so i wanna ask for one with what five would do for y/n while he’s drunk pls 🙏🏻🙏🏻 it can be fluff or smut just so the thing cute n schemxy from my mans five 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (some ideas:a wedding, party, worn out from work, a tiny date gone rogue 🤭)

I also love drunk Five. Please accept this as my humble smutty offering. There is a link to the song Five sings in the body of the text so feel free to listen along!

Boy Wonder | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader 2.7k words, Rated E

Diego and Lila were long gone, off in search of somewhere where the floor buzzed along with the music. The bar you ended up in was only supposed to be a place for you to have a few drinks before finding somewhere higher energy, but you and Five found yourselves quite happily installed there, drinking and putting the world to rights.

“And another thing,” he slurred, finishing his seventh Guinness with a slurp, “academics never actually do anything. They just navel gaze.”

“I’m just saying,” you reply, “you’d know more about theoretical physics than the Professors. You’d have a lot to offer the world.”

“Hey, I’ve given the world enough already. I saved it-” he counted on his fingers and then stopped, his brow furrowed, “...actually, did I save it?”

He contemplated for a second and then shrugged, waving this away with a careless hand.

“Well, whatever. I don’t want to go into academia.”

“Fair enough,” you said, “just a thought.”

He returned his attention to the laminated book on the table and you took the cue to buy you both another drink.

This was all your doing, really. Well, not entirely, (you didn’t pour that amount of stout down his neck) but you at least contributed to the atmosphere that got him into that state.

Work was shitty, more than usually shitty, in fact. The only consolation throughout was the knowledge that it was Friday. When five o’clock finally rolled around, all you wanted to do was blow off some steam.

After a few hours at the bar, you were more than tipsy yourself, but Five could drink you under the table and you learned very early in your relationship not to try and keep up with him. He was looking down at the book with a serious expression, flicking through the pages. As you watched, he cast off his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves to the elbow, as if the mental energy needed to make his choice was making him sweat.

By the time you returned to the table, his tie was loosened and a couple of shirt buttons undone too.

“You not chosen yet?”

“I have if you wanna duet.”

“No!” you said, “I don’t know why you want to go up there.”

“Because it’s fun, obv-ously,” he replied, trying to sound reasonable but failing as a result of his slurred voice. 

“Come on,” he said, cajolingly, looking up at you with his most beguiling smile, “I’ll be John Travolta and you can be Olivia Newton John.”

“Honestly,” you wince, “I think I’d rather perform my own appendectomy.”

“Fine,” he said, “I’ll do it on my own. I’ll blow this shitty place away, you watch."

“Okay," you said, eyebrows raised skeptically, "but you’re up next so you better choose quick.”

He returned his eyes the the list of songs and leaned his cheek heavily on his hand. He scanned the list for a couple more seconds before a look of triumph spread over his face. 

“I got one! It’s gonna be great-”

“It’s My Way, isn’t it?” you said, cutting him off.

He looked at you disbelievingly.

“How did you-?” 

“Because that’s what every man over fifty chooses to sing at a Karaoke place.”

Five pouted at this, eyebrows lowering and bottom lip sticking out.

The expression, so out-of-character for him, struck your booze-clouded brain as funny, and you let out a messy peal of laughter, choking on your Guinness and indelicately spitting some back into the glass.

Five, watching this, began to laugh too. Disregarding the book, he leaned heavily against you, his shoulder shaking with chuckles as it made contact with your upper arm. Then, in a feline tribute of affection, he rubbed his head against yours. 

“I-love you,” he said, softly.

You closed your eyes and returned his caress.

“I love you too, sweet guy.”

“You’re my best friend- yknow that?”

You smiled and started to laugh a little again as he continued to rub himself against you, probably slightly harder than he intended and apparently oblivious to how strange he might look to an onlooker.  

“You’re my best friend and you touch my penis. It’s am-azing,” he said, voice dragging slightly. “You’re amazing.”

Laughing at this, you held him to you more tightly, stroking his firm bicep through the fabric of his shirt.

“You’re just as-bolutely perfect.” he added.

Though this warmed your heart, as the more sober of the pair of you, you were aware that the guy currently singing was limping his way through the final bars of Wonderwall.

“Come on, sweet guy.” you said, kissing his hair, “You gonna go up there and make everyone listen to My Way?”

“Nah.” he said, sitting up straight and pulling himself to an unsteady stand, “I got a better idea.”

With an overly-expressive wink, he wended his way over, weaving slightly. He took the mic from the last patron with a muttered word of thanks and cursed as he tripped up the single step up onto the slightly raised karaoke stage. You wince in sympathy, slightly anxious for what's to come.

After consulting the laminated song list one more time, he punched the number into the machine with a look of intense concentration as he tried not to let his finger stray too far from the keypad.

As the introduction began, filling the noisy bar with a soulful whine of guitar, he tried to fumble the mic back into its stand, but seemed to give up as the first line of the song came upon him.

Leaning close, he briefly closed his eyes as he began to sing.

“If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass, Can't think of anythin' I need,”

When his eyes opened again, they lock on you, messy hair falling in a curtain over one eye. 

“No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound, Nothing to eat, no books to read,”

Even as drunk as he was, he sounded good; his voice an unusual middle ground between tenor and baritone. Though the words themselves were a little indistinct at times, the notes flowed from one to another with a sweet, natural fluidity.

“Making love with you, Has left me peaceful, warm, and tired,”

His mouth twitched at this, and you smiled back. That exchanged look told you that your minds were similarly engaged, both recalling the same memories.

“What more could I ask, There's nothing left to be desired,”

His body moved, swaying gently along with the music, the smile still alive in his eyes. Though his posture was slumped, his movements were surprisingly graceful.

“Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak, So sleep, silent angel, Go to sleep”

As the chorus swelled, he again closed his eyes in feeling with the words he was singing. He leaned into the mic stand, tipping it slightly.

“Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe And to love you…” smut below cut

Finally back at home, you stripped off your dress while Five chomped his way mercilessly through a sharing bag of Ruffles. He was sitting at his desk in his unbuttoned shirt and underwear, having become distracted by the chips midway through getting changed. His hair was sticking up in all directions from all the times he ran his fingers through it.

“We’re going to be hungover tomorrow, aren’t we?” you groan, the slight spinning of your head notifying you of the fact.

“Not me!” he said through a huge mouthful, “I’m the fuckin’ boy wonder. Gonna enjoy this twenty-year old metabolism while I have it. I’ll probably sleep it off and wake up fresh as a daisy.”

“All right, don’t rub it in,” you grumbled, pulling on a short nightdress.

He chuckled blurrily.

“Drink that coffee, you’ll be fine, and finish these Ruffles,” he said, offering you the bag.

With one hand, you fanned yourself like a flustered debutante having just been asked to dance.

“I’m honored.”

“Well,” he said with ironic suavity, “I’ll get by without them. I got you.”

You took them from him and smiled. 

“You sure know how to treat a lady.”

“I happen to know you ain’t no lady.” he said, drunken grin broadening.

“Luckily for me,” he added, with a wink.

You rolled your eyes at him, sat down on the bed and pulled your knees up to your chest. Leaning comfortably against the headboard, you sipped your coffee and slowly ate the chips looking unseeingly up at the ceiling. You weren’t as badly drunk as you thought: it wasn’t even spinning.

After a few minute, a prickling sensation alerted you to his eyes upon you.

Five was always afflicted by a terrible case of rubber neck, and this intensified tenfold when drunk. Some days, all you had to do was walk past to turn his head, eyes following you with a salacious glower. You thought it probably had something to do with his heightened libido since de-aging his body combined with having spent most of his life without female company of the flesh-and-blood variety. Whatever the reason, his lust was very easy to inflame. 

His eyes were combing your upper thighs and the swell of buttocks just skimmed by the hem of your night dress. Not removing his gaze, he stood up and moved towards the bed. 

“You know…I’m not too drunk. Want me to show you how I treat a lady?”

Teasingly, you stretched your legs out, obscuring yourself from his view and forcing his eyes to find yours.

“You want your best friend to touch your penis again?”

He nodded and smiled mischievously. The sharp canines beneath his lips gave him the look of a tormenting imp. That look was all you needed. You slipped off your panties and shuffled down the bed inviting him to join you with a single tilt of your head.

He didn’t need further prompting, depositing his coffee on the desk and practically tripping over himself to join you. He was already half-hard beneath his underwear, tenting at what looked like an uncomfortable angle. His dick apparently already insisting on release, he pulled off the offending garment and let it out with a gentle bounce.

Stroking your thighs, he parted your legs to reveal your spread pussy.

“Mm.” he said, as he looked down at you, “hello.”

He let out an almost disbelieving exhale, cock swelling visibly as he drank in the sight. He took himself in hand and gave himself a long stroke before lowering his head and running his tongue down the entire length of your slit. With a s long exhale, he surfaced again. 

“Oh my god,” he whispered, voice heavy with lascivious satisfaction, “I don’t need ruffles when I can eat this.”

Despite the arousal, you couldn’t help laughing at this; at the seriousness with which he said it. Alcohol and dirty-talk was always a strange combination with Five. He was usually talkative during sex, but any amount of booze loosened his lips even more, throwing the few inhibitions he had out of the window. The result was sometimes hot, sometimes bizarre and most often a strange mix of the two. 

“It’s lucky they weren’t jalapeno flavor,” you quip.

Clearly not wanting to entertain any more joking around, he looked at you with a look of amused disapproval before repositioning himself. He straddled your shoulders and let his cock hang tantalizingly down towards your face. After another couple of moments stroking your legs and enjoying the view, he dove hungrily back between your thighs.

You raised your head to meet him and you groaned simultaneously as the length of his cock slid between your lips. His licks, pecks and sucks at your clitoris sent dancing flames outwards from the point his lips touched. 

It was hard to focus on pleasuring him when he was driving you so mad with his attentions. He was eating you as if he’d been starved for days. His tongue wormed its way inside you, seeking out the wetness he’d already produced and tasting it eagerly.

You moaned around his dick as your pussy gushed juice in time with his mouth. Even with the booze and with his far-from-precise mouth movements, every sensation felt magnified: every one of his appreciative little noises sent a jolt up your body, each twinge of pleasure he gave you like the sun on the petals of an opening flower.

His hair tickled your thighs, sending little shocks along your sensitive skin; his hands holding your legs open anchored you to the bed. As he lowered himself as far into your mouth as he could go, his balls came into gentle contact with your face. The clean, pheromone scent of him adding to the heady mix of sensation carrying you away. 

You caressed them gently with one hand as he surfaced again, hissing as he withdrew from your mouth. 

“Oh, you’re perfect,” he said, throatily. 

“So are you,” you whispered, gently rubbing the velvet shaft of his dick with your other hand. 

“Look at you,” he breathed.

He made a noise part way between a moan and a sigh as he stroked his fingers across your clit, dipping his fingers down to spread some of the wetness higher up.

Soon, apparently unable to resist, he was back with his head between your legs and his cock in your mouth. In time with his licks and sucks to your clit, his pelvis began to move in tiny little thrusts, fucking your face with gentle, measured strokes. You could feel his hot breath on you as his pleasure grew.

“Mmm!” you groaned, your voice muffled around his cock, so hard yet twitching in your mouth.

His tongue was causing flutters like wings across every nerve: overlapping flames absorbing all the air inside you, building ripples upon ripples until all was turmoil. At last, you let go and came into his mouth, your humming cries undulating and sending vibrations along his entire length.

As you rode out the waves of your orgasm, you could feel his body tensing as he edged closer to his own peak, slowing his hips to try to delay. You didn’t allow this, putting one hand on each of his buttcheeks and urging him to resume his movements.

As your muscles relaxed and warmth spread from the site of your orgasm outwards, Five’s pelvis resumed its neat thrusts, tight and careful not to make you uncomfortable. With your permission granted, he chased his own pleasure, growling like some desperate, cornered creature.

Coming to his aid, you bobbed your head in time with his movements, taking him to the depth he needed. After that, it only took a few shifts of your tongue around his shaft before it began pumping into you, stretching the tight press of your lips with each shot. His come hit the back of your throat, salty and potent as he let out a wavering cry. 

Slowly, tensing from the sensitivity, he withdrew. He clambered off you and knelt for on the bed, looking comically scruffy with his hair all over the place, (not to mention the fact he was wearing nothing but his shirt).

He blinked dazedly, staring into the middle distance. The rush of the retreating orgasm apparently interacting strangely with his intoxication. After a couple of moments, he turned his eyes to you, fixing you with a bloodshot gaze.

“That was really good, but I’m afraid I need to puke now.”

And then, he was at the window with surprising speed, lifting the sash and vomiting liquid and undigested potato chips heavily onto the fire escape. For a few moments after the retching subsided, he stayed that way, head out of the window with the cool night air whipping around his face, refreshing his lungs.

His hand fumbled for a water bottle by the bed and you passed it to him. With this, he rinsed his mouth three times and poured the rest outside to swill some of his puke away.

“Sorry about that,” he said, catching his breath and closing the window. 

“I’ll try not to take it personally.” you said, “you okay?”

“Sure. I just need to sleep now.”

You budged up, giving him room and he moved gratefully into your arms. He snuggled backwards into you, laying his head tightly against yours. You were spooning him warm and close. 

He sighed contentedly, as if right here was where he always wanted to be; the entire day having only served to deprive him of his need.

 “Whatever happened to ‘the boy wonder’”

Five snickered weakly.

“Turns out he tapped out around that sixth Guinness or so.”

You laid a gentle kiss on head.

"You feeling better after your shitty day?" He mumbled, sleepily.

“Yes,” you said, soothingly, stroking his messy hair, “but you need to go to sleep, darling. Just go to sleep."

Megalist

Request info + rules

NOTE:

I take Five requests, I'm fairly versatile in what I write (fluff, smut, angst, psychological character study- I'll try it all) but I will consider them on a case by case basis. See request info + rules for request status and more.