#I know this is super long but I needed to gif this in full glory this little showdown between them

[fadelsburger]

The doctor said I've been poisoned with strychnine. What do you think I should do? That's exactly what my doctor told me. What do you think I should do, Mother? Why didn't you tell Phatchai? Do you want him to leave you again? What are you trying to achieve from all of this, Thicha? Is it money?

THICHA ทิชา (2024) dir. Koo Ekkasit Trakulkasemsuk

coloring under the cut:

[readychilledwine]

another fic idea for you, my queen, if you would like to write it into existence. instead of thesan publicly having a male lover, he has a peregryn female who is his “beard”. like he tells everyone she’s his lover when he definitely doesn’t swing that way. let’s pretend everyone believes him 🫢 and their agreement is actually a bargain that she can’t break with the stipulation being that the bargain is fulfilled once she finds her mate. her bargain tattoo is super visible like up her neck (or on her face, but like tastefully of course) during the high lord meeting, azriel has a love at first sight moment (he’s obsessed but the mating bond hasn’t snapped) and he is once again thwarted by Rhys who tells him to stay away to prevent war with dawn court. azriel still secretly meets with the peregryn who 100% returns his affections bc she’s not ACTUALLY with thesan. but then they’re somehow caught red handed. shit hits the fan because keeping up with appearances, thesan is literally about to throw it down with the night court for stealing his girl. He’s actively beating up azriel (who is letting him bc angst 🤷🏽‍♀️) with the peregryn screaming at him to stop when the bond snaps and her very visible bargain tattoo fades away (dramatically like with gold shimmers or something bc it’s dawn court LOL) and it’s happily ever afters all around. (I hope you don’t mind me sending you these fully fleshed out ideas bc I can’t write worth a damn but I know you would do them justice 🫡)

Love and 1000 other Lies

Summary - Aurora has held her place with pride and joy aince accepting Thesan and Bastian’s idea and becoming their coverup. But a certain shadowsinger seems to have other plans for her and her future

Warnings - implied smut, swearing, threats, mentions of war, time jump transitions, sappy Azriel

A/n- after my final edit and run through, this is just shy of 5.7k words. I fixed some grammar errors, changed out some wording, and turned this into a full on love child. I hope you all enjoy her as much as I enjoyed the long process of writing her, perfecting her, and editing her. I used a new writing method, so I do apologize for weird cuts and flow if there is any 💜

"Ew," Thesan joked quietly as his fake lover went to hold his hand, lacing their fingers together. "You need better hand cream."

She shot him an insulted look, eyes darting between her best friend and his actual lover. "I use the hand cream you two bought me. It's not my fault you didn't drop warrior from my title when you decided on our… arrangement." 

Thesan nodded to the guards, he offered his "wife" his arm, holding her a little closer as they entered the room a few high lords had already entered with their parties. To the outside world, it was Thesan and Aurora the High Lord and Lady of Dawn who were very much in love. On the inside they were best friends, and had been forever. Thesan loved her like a sister he had never been blessed with, and she loved him, and his mate, like the brothers she had always wanted. 

75 years ago, when they had asked her to publicly marry Thesan to protect him from Amarantha's claws, she had not hesitated to say yes. She had not hesitated when it came to the bargain either. Was she thrilled when morning glories began to appear on her neck, wrapping her ear like the vines they grew from, and appearing on the right side of her face? No. Thesan had not been either, but could they change it? No. Now though, it was just part of her. It was a piece of who was and would be until she found her mate and presented him to Thesan.

He escorted her to her chair, kissing the top of her hand gently before taking his place. His own mate stood behind both of them, keeping the outward appearance as their selected guard. Bastain loved Thesan dearly, and he had been the one to come up with the plan of using Aurora as their cover. He never once was jealous until they were trapped under the mountain, and playing an occasional role became a daily struggle between the three of them. Mainly due to the common room inspections they were forced to endure. Thesan and Ro were forced to take their marriage to levels they had not expected nor wanted. Levels they had promised each other wouldn't be crossed. 

The three of them watched each party enter, every High Lord coming to greet the Peregryn female to compliment the beauty of their home and Palace. Aurora smiled at each compliment, thanking them and holding their wife’s or female guest’s hands as she played her role. The gentle home maker, the skilled combat healer, the soft soul who had somehow captured the heart of Pryithian’s most elusive High Lord. 

Kal and Viv were particularly taken with the pond that centered the room. The lord of Winter had always wanted to incorporate more of the land into the building Amarantha had destroyed where he formerly hosted meetings and gatherings with outside courts. “I just do not understand how you manage such things,” he turned to Aurora. “Thesan, I may steal your wife for a few weeks. My court could use such talented eyes.”

Aurora smiled at him as they took their seats and she sat back on her own, straightening her dress before putting her hand back on Thesan’s muscled inner forearm. 

Bas leaned into his husband's side, "I can't wait to remind her she has the taste of an Illyrian Brute when we are all alone." Thesan covered his mouth, eyes sparkling. “I designed that for you, you harlot. You did do a lovely job with the stone, plant, and fish selection though.”

Aurora whispered back, a soft smile hiding the small and playful pissing contest between her and Bas. ”You realize that is much more important than the design of a stone pool, right? I am literally the one who made it worth looking at.”

“She is not wrong, Bas. She did a lot of the-” Thesan paused. "The Night Court is here."

Aurora rolled her eyes, a headache already starting at the thought of seeing Rhysand again. "Do I really have to be here?"

"Yes," the males both said quietly. 

Bas handed her a wine glass over her shoulder. "No one said you cannot drink through this though, my lady." She took the wine happily. 

"Thank you, General." 

"Of course, my lady." He replied playfully. "Must Rhysand always make everything an ostentatious fashion show?"

Aurora almost spit her wine out, gripping Thesan's hand a little tighter. The High Lord hid his own laughter by clearing his throat. "Composure, 'Rora," he hissed under his breath. "Azriel is extra scrumptious today, though. The Mother took her time on that one."

Bas hummed in agreement. "I heard he plays both sides of the field." 

Thesan raised his brows in excitement. His urge to gossip came forward as his eyes began to sparkle. "Oh do tell."

"Later." Thesan noted Azriel's eyes on his "wife" the whole meeting.

It wasn't that he could blame the male, Aurora was stunning, especially for fae standards. Gorgeous silky chocolate hair, plump full lips, a button nose, and beautiful curves that sat on her muscled frame perfectly. Her dress accented her hourglass figure. Had he enjoyed the company of females, he would have courted her, possibly married her for real. It was her mind that intrigued Thesan most. She was intelligent, witty, funny. SHe held herself to high standards and performed at that standard whenever it was asked of her. There was also her selflessness. Her willingness to place a target on her own back to protect him, to protect Bastian, to protect their court. Aurora was as beautiful inside as she was outside, a true sparkling rare gem of his court that he could have used for so much more than a fake marriage.

He placed a hand possessively on her thigh as she focused on her quiet discussion with a kneeled down Bastian. Thesan shot Azriel a look of warning as he caught the shadowsinger staring at her again. "Rhysand, tell your family to keep their eyes off taken females." 

Despite the marriage being fake, Thesan knew two things. The first was he had to keep the act of a protective territorial male up. The second was he would never yield her to the hands of the Night Court. He would never yield any of his fae to the Night Court. Not after years of Rhysand’s constant humiliation. His constant attacks. Not after what he had done to the barely healed wings of his wife.

The High Lord of Night knitted his brows together before turning to Azriel and following his gaze to where Bastian and Aurora were whispering Hybern's battle plans Tamlin had just presented. “I apologize, Thesan. She is just as radiant today as rumors and gossip makes her out to be. Forgive Azriel. Please. It is both rare to see a female with wings, and one in such a high position of power among the Illyrians.”

Aurora paused, feeling the room's eyes on her. She made confused eye contact with Viv who simply pointed to the Night Court as she and Kal too had picked up on the stares from the Spymaster. "Did I miss something, love?"

Thesan gently pulled your hand to his. "Nothing, dove. Just a male not keeping his gaze where it belongs." He kissed her hand gently. "Thoughts on those papers?"

Aurora handed them back to Bas with a sigh. "Our air legion would not be enough, nor would the Illyrian Armies. If they truly have those numbers, we will need to work closely with the Night Court and their general. The bigger concern is their Naval fleet. I would have never guessed to have put Hybern in possession of that level of an armada.”

Rhysand spoke. "Which brings us back to the question at hand Lady Dawn. Can we trust Tamlin when Spring has been known to ally with Hybern and he is the reason they are here?"

Aurora spoke without thinking, 50 years of anger lacing her tone. "I did not realize all males were their fathers, Rhysand.” She watched as the sentence struck where she aimed it and his sharp jawline tightened. “Should we worry about you and where you stand as well? Your father only fought with us during the last war because he did not want to lose his place as High Lord had Hybern's last efforts been successful. It seems the offer Hybern made Tamlin would have surely swayed your father. Perhaps it swayed you as well, seeing as your so-called High Lady,” Aurora held up the letters Feyre sent Hybern on “behalf” of Tamlin, “Is the actual reason they invaded a full year ahead of plan.”

Tension in the room rose slightly as the Lord of Night and Lady of Dawn stared each other down. No one sitting in those chairs who had witnessed her torture would soon forget her screams, nor how Rhysand had smiled as he administered it. "Of the High Lords currently present, I've experienced cruelty from two of them. One simply because of my wings,” a pointed look to Autumn had even Beron looking away, refusing to be in the stare of a female he knew could end all trade supply of healing herbs and medicines to his court. “And one because he was evidently so deep into what he wanted us all to believe was an act that all courtesy went out the window." Her gaze went back to Rhys, hard eyes meeting shamed violet ones.

Rhys shifted. "I never wanted to hurt you."

Bas spoke firmly, the timber of his voice almost shaking the room. "You plucked her wings bare. Twice. You do not get to say you never wanted to hurt her when you did. You will not address my lady any further. We will choose to believe Spring until given a real reason not to that isn't some farce of a lovers spat."

Azriel growled at another general commanding his High Lord, and Aurora immediately stood facing him between them. "You've already attacked Eris Vanserra, Shadowsinger, do not test your luck against the Dawn Court in our home. Unlike Autumn, I am more than capable of handing you and finishing what you start. We are warriors too, shadowsinger. Try your best to not forget that.”

Azriel felt his chest tighten, then warmth, and a snap. His eyes went wide before he turned to Rhysand with a panicked expression. 

Lady Dawn was his mate. 

Azriel paced the room Helion, Cassian, and Rhys all sat watching him in. "What do I do?"

Cassian spoke first with a shrug. "Nothing you truly can do, Azriel. Unless you plan on breaking up a marriage between the High Lord, who may I remind you controls healers, healer apprenticeships, and the flow of healing medicines and tonics, and his wife absolutely hates your high lord and brother."

Rhys nodded gently. "I already pushed that alliance enough without choice, Azriel. We can't risk it. They supply all of our healing houses, they staff our healing houses. All of them are on contract and Thesan could pull the healers home without notice or warning.”

Helion shifted. "So I'm the only one who noticed then?" The three males all looked to him, indicating for him to continue. "Aurora fidgets with her "wedding ring", Helion putsput fake emphasisemphases on the phrase, "when she's nervous. She spins it, slides it off and on. She never wears that rock. Her finger is tanned, and there is no indent indicating she actually wears her wedding ring frequently. It could be because of her status as a second general, but, still, even if she had it off to train for 3 to 4 hours a day, she should still have some sign of it on that pretty hand of hers.”

Helion took a sip of his wine and continued. "That bargain on her also has specific conditions. I have not had the pleasure of being alone with her long enough to read the rune markings, but it is not a life bargain one would normally see between a High Lord and his Lady. I would talk to her, alone, Azriel. I do not think that marriage is all it is cracked out to be.”

Rhysand leaned forward. "The reason Amarantha began to target them was because their room never smelled of sex, but Thesan did. As did Bastain and his room. But never Aurora. Whose room only ever smelled like her. She thought it was…. Odd."

Helion nodded. "That's my point. She's covering for them. We all know Thesan had no interest in females until Amarantha started rearing her ugly ass head around. Then suddenly Thesan and sweet Aurora were married. It is suspicious at the very least, and a lie at the most."

Rhys shook his head, standing to go to bed. "Stay away from her, Azriel. I do not want to have to add War with Dawn on to our family meeting agendas. I also do not want to deal with fighting a war with no healers for our court.”

Azriel could not find sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed, heart beating too rapidly with joy and his soul screaming too loudly with excitement. He felt a tug on the bond, and Azriel immediately left the room, following his shadows to where they said Lady Dawn currently was.

He took him a little while to find her in the dark herb garden, and he almost stopped his approach completely when he did. Her long hair was completely down, her feet bare as she stood by the lake in the flowing knot and rope styled dress she was wearing. "Shadowsinger," she greeted calmly as a tendril of dark Mist weaved between her fingers in greeting. 

Azriel moved standing next to her. "Lady Dawn."

They stood there in silence, both afraid to break the dam and address what happened in the meeting. Azriel broke the silence first. "Can you feel it?" 

Aurora answered honestly. "Only because of my powers. It didn't snap for me yet, and I do not know why." 

Azriel stared at the bargain tattoo dancing on her neck and face. "Does it have anything to do with the bargain?" She shrugged at the question. "What exactly is the bargain?"

"I can't tell you." Azriel nodded at the response. His eyes then went down to her hand, noticing the lack of diamonds currently adorning her left ring finger. 

"Where are your chambers?"

Aurora rose a brow, a small smirk forming. "Bold."

Azriel nodded. "I've waited over 500 years for you. I will be as bold as I need to be."

He took her shamelessly that night. Noting how she truly did have her own chambers located nowhereno where near Thesan. How her chambers only smelled like her. 

He memorized every shiver, every sound, every plea. She had not been touched, truly touched, in years. Azriel hated the thought of it. He hated the idea of her alone in this giant bed. He hated the thought of her being woken up to the sun rising and painting the sky in soft light instead of waking to kisses and worship.

He hated that his bond was being hidden by a lie. He slipped from her room using the shadows and returned to his before the sun fully rose. He held back tears as he washed the scent of her off of his skin, hating every single second of it. He looked away from Rhysand as he asked for help masking what lingered. Not in shame, but so his brother wouldn’t see his hurting, his small amount of guiltguit wracking through him.

Breakfast the next morning was filled with uncomfortable silence. Aurora sat next to Thesan, eating silently as shadows ran her legs and skirts under the table. She had glamored the scent of night mist clinging to her skin softly, the love marks, the small bruises. She smiled as Thesan kissed her hand, trying to pull her from her distracted mind with a look. 

Azriel kept his gaze from her. Keeping his focus on his plate and just holding the memories from last night as close to him as possible. 

They sought each other out weeks later before the war truly began. Azriel etched the look on her face as they stood in Velaris together ininto his memory. He led her to his cabin, keeping her with him that weekend. He learned she loved to read, to explore and hike, to laugh. He had laughed so hard in those 3 days he was pretty sure his body had discovered unworked muscles. It had taken him those 72 hours to fall for her. He wasn’t sure if it was the bond driving it, or just because they were simply meant to be, but Azriel knew after 72 hours he would never love anyone like this again. And, selfishly, he never wanted to.

She came to him during the war. Seeking him out in the dead of night near their camps, drenched in blood and exhausted. “Azriel,” Aurora set her weapons down, almost collapsing at his feet as sobs shook her to the core. His mate. His gentle mate. A 2nd general of a large legion of warriors, breaking down as he moved to her instantly. 

He held her close, stroking her matted hair as she clung to his leathers. “It's okay,” he soothed her, wishing that bond had snapped in those stolen moments alone so he could send her everything he was feeling, every trapped word. Azriel snuck her into this tent that night, keeping her close after bathing the blood, dirt, and sweat from her body, from her soft hair and wings. 

That was the beginning of a nail in the coffin. 

He had not been as vigilant as he should have due to his focus locked solely on Aurora. 

She was his priority, not her husband’s mate watching them. 

Bastian kicked off the tree. This was the third confirmation he needed. The first had come the morning after the High Lord’s meeting. Aurora’s room had a scent he knew, but hadn’t been able to place. The second came as he watched her sneak out and fly towards the Night Court. Now this. He wanted to chalk it up to war bringing out emotions and needs in all of them. Afterall, he had shamelessly fucked Thesan into a state of bliss and emptyness just moments ago. But there was something in the way Azriel held Aurora, as if he was familiar with her and her body that gave Bastian the answer he needed. 

They were having an affair. 

And she was a traitor and potential threat to their court.

A month after the war, Azriel and Aurora began to fall into a soft dance. Every two nights, they met in the Day Court, hiding their affair, their love, among Helion’s many fae and open court. Guilt had set into Aurora’s mind at times, guilt that she was betraying her court, her two closest friends. Guilt that she did not feel the bond the way Azriel did. Guilt that as she laid beneath him that night with Azriel peppering kisses and gentle words of adoration and praise into her tanned skin with each slow calculated movement inside of her, that she loved him. 

Aurora had truly, madly, and deeply fallen for this male without caution, without second thought, without hesitation. She didn’t need a bond to tell him that as her head fell back, and she whispered those three words over and over, whining desperately for him, pleading for him, feeling nothing but the wholeness only Azriel brought her. Her nails sunk into his back when they found completion together, minds and souls merging into one. 

A ring box sat on the bedside table next to them, a glittering black and blue gem centered in gold with sapphires sat beside it, mocking her as he slept . He was behind her, an arm curled around the curve of her waist, soft breathing fanning her neck and causing her to shiver in anticipation of the morning sex she knew they would have. 

The ring was such a contrast to the blush pink diamond that sat silver Thesan had gifted her. It wasn’t fair. Thesan was allowed his lover in their scam of a marriage, yet Aurora was meant to be the docile wife blind to what everyone else clearly could see. Every meal between her, Thesan, and Bastian was becoming more and more hostile as resentment built and built on her end. It wasn’t fair, knowing she’d fly home to Dawn tomorrow and they’d be wearing those golden bands while she hid this gorgeous ring and only wore it when she was alone. 

She didn’t know they knew. That they had agreed to let her confess in her own time and explain. It wouldn’t matter if she had told them, until that bond snapped, she was trapped in this limbo. 

Azriel landed as quietly as possible on Aurora's balcony. It was eerily quiet and dark inside of her normally life filled room. He entered slowly and paused when he saw Thesan sitting on her couch in front of the fire.

"Did you really think I wouldn't find out?" The High Lord sipped something as he waved Azriel closer. "How long have you been fucking my wife in my home?" Azriel did not respond. Only setting his weapons aside to show he meant no harm. Bastian came into the room as well, Aurora held tight in his grip as tears streamed down her face.

Azriel couldn’t suppress the growl that tore through his throat. “Let. Her. Go.” 

Thesan was tired of games, though. Tired of months of lies after pretty lies. “He will after you two try to explain yourselves. It is a crime to fuck a High Lord’s wife. Or did Rhysand not tell you that when he put you up to this?”

Azriel glared towards Thesan before locking his gaze on Aurora, the feral side of him watching for any sign of pain or distress since he could not feel her the way he should have been able to. He called out for Rhysand in his mind, not even flinching as Rhys and Cassian appeared behind him.

Rhysand took in the scene, taking a deep breath as his suspicions were all but confirmed. He knew he had no right to judge. After all, he had taken his own mate from her impending marriage to another High Lord. “Thesan, let’s talk about this, please.” Rhys put his hands up, showing he meant to harm as he approached the other High Lord. “I know this is not ideal-”

Thesan interrupted, anger spilling into his words. “He’s fucking my wife. My 2nd general. How much information has she handed to all of you? How deep does this betrayal go, Rhysand?” Azriel paled at what was being inferred, at the consequences Thesan could hand his mate if he felt necessary.

Banishment and death, Aurora realized slowly. This was going to end with her being banished from her home, and possibly from the Night Court to maintain that little relationship Thesan and Rhys had rebuilt, or with her and Azriel’s death. “I told him nothing,” she whimpered out. “It wasn’t like that, Thesan. You know me better than that.”

“I thought I did,” those words felt like hot knives in her chest, cutting deeper than she had ever imagined they could. “I can see now I was clearly wrong about you, Clearly wrong for picking you.”

Aurora just nodded, taking the scolding before looking at Azriel. “Just let him live, Thesan, please. Do what you want with me, but let him live.” Bastian’s grip on her faltered slightly, and Thesan’s mask fell. There was desperation in her tone. “He’s just a male. You know how you all are when something pretty and kind looks your way.”

Bastian closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, “So you initiated it?”

The lie fell easily as she looked as Cassian gripping Azriel’s arm, holding him back from rushing to her, and in place in case they needed to escape. “Yes, I sought him out each time.” 

Thesan knew she was lying. He knew the meeting between them were mutually planned. “So, you confess to high treason then, wife?”

Death. She realized fully. This was going to end with death. She should have been more afraid, but she couldn't be if her confession led to Azriel's safety. “Yes.”

Thesan's face dropped fully. “And you Azriel-”

“Should not be held accountable for my actions,” Aurora interrupted. “Let him go. Ban him from Dawn if you must, but please, let him live.” 

Thesan moved to her, taking her chin in his hand. “You love him?”

All she could do was pause, lip trembling as she looked at Thesan's hurt eyes. “I do.”

“More than our people, our court?”

Azriel felt Rhysand move to him as he went to jump, the urge to protect his mate growing stronger and stronger. “Stop,” Rhysand growled and commanded. “She's trying to save your life. Fucking stop.”

“She is my life!” Azriel shouted back. “She is my everything.” 

Azriel broke free from them, glaring harshly, “she is why I get out of bed. Why I am happy. She is why I don't fucking hate myself so much anymore. She makes me want to be better. She makes me want to be a better male for myself, for her, for all of you.”

Aurora pulled at Bastian’s grip, wanting to reach Azriel, to hold him. “Let her go. We will leave to the continent and never return. We will both swear out of our positions. Please, Thesan, let my mate go. Do not hurt her.”

The words had Bastian’s hand fall off Aurora's arms, shock setting in as she rushed to Azriel, jumping into his arms and holding him as if her very life and being depended on it. 

Thesan was frozen in place watching them. Watching as she whispered goodbye and kept trying to fight him into leaving. “I'm not leaving without you. I'm not living without you.” 

Azriel had a tight grip on her upper arms. “I would face 1000 executioners, 1000 deaths, before ever returning to life where you are not in it. If I have to die at his hand by your side, Ii will.”

Aurora shook her head, eyes pleading. “Please go.”

Azriel's lips tightened in a sad smile. “No, angel. I'm not leaving you.” He pulled her to him, holding her head against his chest as she began to cry. “I love you far too much to say goodbye this soon.” 

It was as if time was standing still, Rhysand and Cassian unsure of what to do as Bastain grabbed a lunging Thesan's arm and held him back while pointing.

Before them, Aurora's neck and face bargain was glittering, glowing softly as her and Azriel stood there, eyes shut and foreheads touching. He was whispering every soft confession of love to her, of how he had waited for her for centuries, and how he would have waited more. The mark began to fall like snow, sparkling its way down and removing itself from Aurora as the scent of a strong bondbind between mates began to fill the room. 

Thesan calmed instantly. Realizing his own hand had played a part in her inability to fully make thatr sacred connection. That their bargain had come with terms he had unknowingly placed. It had forced Aurora to learn and fall in love with Azriel without its influence and power. Ensuring she loved him more than her position, her fae, her court. 

It had ensured the male loved her the same though. Ensured he would live for her, breathe for her, bleed for her. 

Azriel kissed her deeply, not opening his eyes before forcing her back behind him and offering himself to Thesan. 

They loved each other so deeply that their feelings mirrored and merged. Causing him to be blissfully unaware of her ability to see that golden string and of her feelings hitting him wave after wave, colliding with his own in harmony. 

Rhysand's jaw twitched as he gently grabbed Aurora. “Fly her home, Cassian. Get her out of here.” 

Bastian held a hand up. “There's no need to do that. Her part of the bargain is fulfilled.” He turned to his mate. “Let her go, The’. Let her be happy. She's sacrificed so much for our home. For us.” 

Thesan looked at her with pride and sympathy. “I'm so fucking happy for you,” he rushed to his best friend. “Oh Gods we get to plan a wedding!” Thesan pulled her in close. “An actual wedding, Rora. Not some bullshit paper with conditions.” 

Cassian rose a brow to Bas, crossing his arms. “General.”

Bastain raised a brow to Cassian, mimicking his stance and tone, “General?”

Cassian put his hands up, smiling. “Why didn't you two just tell all of us? We don't care.”

Bastian smiled, head inclining to Thesan. “To protect him. The rules of war are not the same as the rules for leaders.”

Rhysand scoffed. “Tell that to Helion, Tamlin, and Tarquin.”

“And you,” Azriel quickly said. “Beron and Kal are the only two that haven't slept with another male.”

Thesan was too deep in Aurora, wiping her tears away to even care about the rest. “Rora, I have the perfect dress in mind. You're going to love it. It's this pretty white drop waist with a lace back. Cute off the shoulder ties. Big full tulle skirt. Not like Feyre's cupcake monstrous dress, but classy. Faerie tale like.'' Aurora nodded. All her worries were forgotten as she waited for him to continue. “Oooooh in the High Garden,” Thesan was practically drooling. His true side coming out in front of strangers for the first time. “I always imagined your hair down in a waterfall braid with flowers too.” 

He made it a reality a year later. Aurora rocked back on her high heels, hands shaking as Bastian stood beside her, waiting for the cue to take her before Rhysand, Feyre, Thesan, and the High Priestess of Dawn. “Breathe,” Bastian commanded softly. Almost smirking as the command forced an effect on her. 

He had enjoyed giving commands since being sworn in as Thesan's husband and second High Lord of Dawn. He thought it was funny how almost unbearably compulsive the commands were to follow. “Asshole,” she muttered softly. “I'm allowed to be nervous.”

Bastian shrugged. “It's just a wedding with over 500 fae present. I don't understand what there is to be nervous about? It's not like this wedding also seals an agreement between Dawn and the Night court in regards to healers, trade exports, cross training between our camps-”

Aurora glared at him, her face paling. “Shut. Up.”

It was still odd to see her bare skin. Her face was unmarked from the bargain. Azriel had promised his mark on her would appear elsewhere, wanting the world to admire her beauty. 

He was hoping for her spine, somewhere hidden from his countless enemies, but visible in the low back dress styles popular in Night. Hell, he would settle for a tiny A adorning her ring finger. 

Just something marking her as his. 

The music began and Bastian offered her his arm, “Ready, Aurora?”

She smiled and nodded. “As ready as I'll ever be.”

[paarthurnax59]

"Family Don't End In Blood"

Chapter 1

Warnings: Fluff, mentions of smut, sickness, vomit and medical inaccurate information?

  Eyes opening and looked around the room to find your beloved boyfriend, Dean sleeping next to you. With your face lighting up with a smile, you stroke his face with a gentle touch. Your delicate fingers grazed Dean’s cheek down to his plump lips, earning a smile from the green-eyed hunter. His eyelids flutter and open to find you looking at him with the most gorgeous smile he had ever seen. 

“Morning, Handsome.” You softly uttered to Dean kissing his lips. He then pulls you in closer to his bare chest, letting your own naked form embrace him once more.

“Morning to you too, pretty girl.” He groaned softly and placed you on top of him, letting his fingers stroke your back gently in small circles. “You slept good, honey?” He asked as he looked into your beautiful (e/c) eyes and then proceeded to stroke your hair. 

“Really good, considering the night we had last night.” You whispered seductively to him while a grin was forming on your face, stroking your boyfriend’s chest. 

“Don’t I know it, sweetheart. You had me so tired out from last night that I slept like the dead.” Dean chuckled and kissed you on the forehead before you got up from him and threw the covers off of you. “Join me in the shower, princess?” Dean asked with a grin as he stood up with in his full naked glory as he looked down at you as you covered yourself with a sheet. 

“You know it. Then we can finish what we started last night.” You said as you got up but Dean stopped you with one hand in front of you.

“As much as I would like that, beautiful, we need to make it quick. We need to start looking for cases for another hunt.” He reluctantly declined your invitation to have a steamy lovemaking session in your shower.  You nodded and followed him to the shower and started cleaning yourselves off. After the shower, you and Dean dried and got dressed, heading to the Bunker kitchen to make some breakfast. One desirable trait about Dean is that the man loved to cook. Ever since you all found the bunker, Dean had been making a habit of cooking different recipes. You would often find him in the kitchen when you all weren’t on a hunt or doing research for a case, reading another cookbook. Often you wonder if Dean was doing it to impress you. With the way his food tastes, you would say it was working. “So, what are you in the mood for, sweetness?”

“I think I would like something sweet and maybe something with meat on the side?” you said as you sat at the bunker kitchen table with your head up propped up on your hand.

“Waffles and sausage it is then.” He smiled as he started getting stuff out and began to make your favorite breakfast. As the sausage began to sizzle on the grill and the waffles were being made, you gazed at the man that stood in front of you. You couldn’t believe it had been over three years since you two had gotten together. You both had known each other for honestly all your life. Never had you both thought you would be dating after the death of your father, Bobby Singer.

    He knew for a long time that you had an intense crush on Dean and wanted to ask him out when you were old enough. While he would not stop you from being with Dean, he wasn’t all super encouraging either. He said Dean had a… well… what he would call a rough reputation with the ladies and known to sleep around.  Dean was known to be a heartbreaker and you dad never wanted to see that happening to you. He advised to steer clear of him. However, as you got older and Dean started to gain some interest in you and there was no stopping to what was happening between you. You both started dating after your father passed away and since that day forward, you two became inseparable. And after finding the Bucker, you finally felt like you had some real stability. It was something that you had always wanted. A place to call home and a love so strong that not even Hell could break it. Life was good for a change. 

Suddenly, as the smells began to make it is to your nostrils, your stomach began to churn. Your eyebrows furled in irritation as Dean continued cooking your breakfast. Then it passed, thinking that maybe it was from something you ate the night before. When Dean had finally got done with breakfast, he placed a plate of your favorite type of waffles and some pork sausages in front of you. You were about to dig in when that feeling of nausea crept its way back into your stomach. Making you gag and soon, you rant to the bathroom to throw up. 

“(Name)!” Dean threw down his fork and ran at you when you fled the kitchen. He goes to the nearest bathroom where he sees you puking your guts out into the toilet. “Baby, are you okay?” Dean said as he knelt and rubbed your back soothingly with his large hand.

“I think so. God, what was that?” You whined wiping up your mouth of the leftover vomit that had just made you lose your appetite for the rest of the morning. 

“I’m guessing breakfast is canceled then?” He chuckled and you smirked at him. You flushed the toilet and went to your shared room to go and brush your teeth as Dean follows you. “If we aren’t going to eat then we need to start looking for cases and see if we hit the lottery.” Dean explained as you spat out some toothpaste and laughed at his joke.

“Ha, I wish we could win the real lottery.” You stated with a half-serious, and half-jokingly to your boyfriend. You finished brushing your teeth and placed your toothbrush in the cup next to Dean’s and walked out to get ready to do research for another case. You both reached the library and sat at the table where you and the boys had dozens of books scattered all over the table. Sam was still gone and probably still on a run. You opened your laptop and search any weird activities around the county. While looking onto your laptop, a headache started to appear out of nowhere while trying to read another article, a painful one.  “Ugh…” you groaned in irritation from the intense headache that was surfacing and rubbed your head in counterclockwise circles. Dean looked down from his own laptop to look at his girlfriend, worry was very clear in his eyes. 

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Dean asked not taking his eyes off you.

“Headache. A bad one.” You squint your eyes while wincing in pain. Dean gets up and looks through the kitchen cabinet and grabbed some Ibuprofen. He sits down next to you and places and glass of water in front of you and tells you to drink while taking the pills. Dean eyes observed you with a longing look as he spoke once again.

“(Name), are you sure you are feeling, okay?” He asked you and then placed his hand on your forehead engulfing it with his big hand.

“I don’t know. Honestly Dean, I have been feeling not myself for a while. I don’t even know if I can focus on going on a hunt right now.” You admitted honestly and started to walk off when Dean grabbed you by the arms and wrapped his arms around you tightly. 

“It’s okay, baby. Just go get some rest, and we will take care of it, okay?” He mumbled into your hair and kissed your head, and you left the room to your shared bed to get some sleep. After you left, the door to the Bunker had opened and Sam then walked in a sweaty mess. “Sammy, just in time!” Dean grinned at his brother.

“Why?”

“We need to do some digging for a hunt. Go get a shower and get dressed.” Dean ordered his younger brother and Sam looked at him with a confused face.

“Well, where’s (Name)? why isn’t she helping you?” Sam asked.

“She’s not feeling well, and I told her to go and rest for a while. So, I need you to get that Stanford brain working and hit the internet.” Dean slapped Sam on the shoulder and regretted it immediately after feeling the sweat on his shoulder. “Ugh, gross!” Sam laughed as Dean snarled in disgust. “Shut up, bitch.”

“Make me, jerk.”

….

  For hours, you had been trying to sleep, but with no success. You changed back into your pajamas and laid in bed trying settle this illness that you have. Instead, you had just stared at the celling. Thinking and trying fine a reason as too what was wrong with you. For days you had been having abdominal pain, mood swings and fatigue. Even Dean was starting to notice, but he assumed that you were just stressed from the recent hunts. You wonder if maybe you had come down with something from the last case. Then, you hear a knock on the door and sat up as your boyfriend entered the room.

“Did you sleep at all, sweetheart?” He asked sweetly waltzing towards you and sat next to you on the bed.

“No, I couldn’t sleep. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You whined in frustration looking in Dean’s eyes. He smiled and stroked your cheek sweetly. God, is this were a dream, you hope to never wake up from this. You loved so much you never wanted to imagine your life without him.

“Hey, listen. Sam and I found a case, and it’s not pretty.” He said in a slightly more serious tone. 

“What’s the case?” You asked him to raise one eyebrow. 

“It’s out in Ohio, near Cincinnati. There has been a string of young women disappearing out of nowhere. By the evidence, we think it might ither b a witch, a demon or a pegan god.” He explained simply. This made you wonder because people do in fact disappear all the time. While it was sad that these poor women were being taken, how can this be considered the work of a supernatural being?

“Why do you think this might be the work of a supernatural creature?” You asked your hunter boyfriend in curiosity.

“Because all of the women that were kidnaped were pregnant.” When Dean said that your eyes widen. You thickly swallowed your saliva and could feel it drop all the way down to the pit of your stomach.

“Did you say…pregnant?” You said in awe as you try not to let your emotions get the better of you and Dean nodded at your response. 

“Yes, pregnant women. The articles that surrounded the case had their husbands and boyfriends talk about who after they learned they were at this clinic that they were expecting. The thing that made this more suspicions is because all these women went to this exact same clinic in Cincinnati where they all learned they were expecting.” 

“Well, why would any supernatural creature care about pregnant women?” You asked, knowing that you are not going to like the answer.

“Sam explained that newborn babies have an unbelievably amount of life force, purest that humanity has to offer. They can give a power boost to any one of these monsters and he thinks that they are wanting to harvest these babies by kidnapping pregnant women, and when their due date comes it’s time to collect.” Dean finished and you looked down in horror. Never in her wildest dreams could she think of anything so monstrous and cruel. A happy couple find out they were expecting and then some monster to take that happiness away and use their most precious gift to make themselves more powerful. You wanted to puke just think about it. 

“When do we leave?” You asked, wanting more than enough to help these poor women and save their babies. 

“No, Me and Sam are going. You need to stay here and get some well deserve rest. I don’t know how long we will be back, but I will try to make as fast as possible. I have Cas check on you if you need anything.” Dean said before he kissed your lips with a quick peck and walked to your closet and grabbed his bag. He usually sometimes had clean clothes already packed to be ready for the next hunt. “I will miss you, honey. I love you. Always.” He kissed your nose, making you smile as he walked out your bedroom door. 

     When Dean and Sam left, you got up from your bed and dressed, ready to go to the pharmacy. Your recent conversation with Dean about the case had prompted you to go to the drug store to get a test. A pregnancy test. When you go to the aisle for “family planning”, you grabbed maybe four or five different tests to make sure that they might possibly be correct. You walk to the counter to pay for your tests and left as quickly as possible so that you could get tested right away. 

   After you got home and drinking a lot of water, you went to the bathroom to take the tests. Using the first test, you wait three minutes timing it with your phone. Anxiety filled you with dread as you waited for the result of the test. Before you flipped the test and shock was emanate on your face.

Two lines

Pregnant

  You almost not wanted to breath when you realize that maybe this was just a scare. That it was maybe a blip, and the test was wrong. Calming yourself down and drank some more water, you took another stick from a different test. You peed on that one and waited another three minutes before looking at the results. When the timer went off, you flipped the second test.

Positive

Another positive pregnancy test. 

 So, the rest of your day consisted of you taking one test after another. All of them coming back as all positive. There wasn’t a shadow of a doubt that you were in fact pregnant. How could this have happened? You and Dean were so careful to not get you pregnant. Using condoms, having birth control and pulling out before Dean could pregnant you. Did a condom break? Did you skip a day of taking your pill? The questions your mind was concocting swirled around your mind, you walked to the kitchen to get a garbage back and threw out all the pregnancy tests. You were careful to nod leave any trace that you were taking any tests that related to pregnancy. 

  The next day, you decided to a doctor’s office to confirm if you were pregnant or not. Sitting in the waiting room, a nurse comes up to you and told you to follow her. She placed you in a room and asked for you to get change into a hospital gown. You waited nervously as your knee bouncing and tapping your fingers together steadily breathing to keep yourself relaxed before the door opened and the OBGYN doctor walked into the room. 

“Hello, Miss Singer. How are we today?” asked the woman kindly when she walked in her lab coat and a clipboard which you assume that was you chart. You wanted to say you were terrified and that you hoped that you were not really pregnant. But you kept your cool and not gave her the full truth.

“Nervous, doctor.” You said, even though your insides were screaming.

“Alright, so you might believe that you are pregnant. What made you think that?” She asked professionally and brought out her clipboard with a pen in the other. 

“Well, I have had these symptoms. I had been moody, my breasts are more tender and sensitive and headaches constantly.” You explained to the doctor, and she jots down the information you were giving her. “I thought nothing, or it because we always use protection and were very careful. We used condoms, birth control and he always pull out.” She finished when she looked up at you from her clipboard. 

“Those are all affective, but they don’t always stop pregnancy. Condoms sometimes break and birth control isn’t a hundred percent reliable, as for pulling out…well sometimes sperm can in fact slip from time to time. Especially if a person has been sexually active for a long period of time. How long how you and…” She hesitated for a moment, waiting for you to tell her your boyfriend’s name.

“Dean, Dean Winchester.” You answered. “and we have been together for three years and we had been active since two months after we had dated.” You said honestly. When you started dating, you wanted to tell Dean that you wanted to wait awhile before sleeping with him and he respectfully did. You never had slept with anyone before and wanted it to be special when you finally lose your virginity. It was the best night of your life after you had slept with Dean. 

“Okay, have you taken a test?” She asked after she wrote down everything that you told her about yours and Dean’s personal life. 

“Yes, a lot of them. All of them say they were positive.” You admitted in a low and scared whisper while looking down to the floor and tightened your grip on to your hospital gown. 

“Okay, I’m going to do one more test, but I am still pretty positive that you are pregnant.”

…

   After they doctor took your test and left her your phone number. She told you that you would be able to know the results within a day, never had you been more nervous about. She told you that the test that she gave you was to most accurate one she had, which made even more worried. About you and your possible unborn baby. 

    What happens if you find yourself with child? How are you going to raise a kid in the hunter’s life? Should you give up hunting to keep them safe? How is Dean going to handle this? Would he want to have a kid with you? You know for a fact you would raise a child with him. He was always good with kids and even willing to help raise Lisa’s kid for a time long before you got together.

   As you let your thoughts go crazy over multiple seriors and what Dean’s reaction would be, your phone goes off. You picked it up and saw Dean’s name appear on the screen. You form a big smile, acted as normal as possible, you perk up and swipe upward. 

“Hi Dean!” You yelled excitedly as you answered you boyfriend on the opposite line.

“Hi Baby! How are you feeling? Feeling any better?”  He asked on the other line. God, how could you not love this man?

“A little but still feeling a little sick though. Kind of had a hard time sleeping though.” You replied. 

“Oh, I’m sorry baby. I wish I was there taking care of you instead of having to be on this hunt.” He sighed and you swore your heart swelled with warmth when you heard Dean saying that. Despite being who he is, Dean really did care for his loved ones and their well-being. “Listen, we just got to Cincinnati and we are ready to investigate, but I will call you later okay? Me and Sammy will see you soon, baby. Love you.”

“Love you more.” You smiled as you muttered your feelings for him.

“Not possible. How could anyone not love you more?” Dean said and then he hung up to get back to work. You smiled as you heard Dean say those last few words before he hung up. Dean loved you, truly and wholeheartedly loved you. With the way he was talking to you there was no doubt about that. You weren’t still sure about telling Dean that you might be pregnant yet, but with the way that he had spoken to you made the burden of telling him lighter. Your heart swelled with some form of relief and some happiness at the idea of Dean with your baby, a baby that you weren’t sure you were having yet.

   You could imagine right now you rocking back and forth in a rocking chair trying to put your baby down for a nap. Dean watching you from the doorway smiling and holding cup of coffee as he watched you both at the door of your child’s nursey. He walked up to you and kissed yours and your baby’s forehead with so much love and adoration. You hoped that maybe he would have given up hunting, got a job as a mechanic and you be a stay-at-home mom.  It would be heaven. Being lost in your silly fantasy, you saw your phone pick up and saw it was the name of your doctor, Laura Carson, and picked it up right away. 

“Hello? (Name) here.” You answered after placing the phone by your ear. 

“Hello, miss Singer, This is Doctor Carson from Healthscape healthcare. How are you doing?” She asked you over the phone. 

“I’m fine, any news of the test?” You asked her to want to know more about your test results. 

“Yes, and I just want to be the first to say congratulations. You are pregnant!” She finalized tells you that you were in fact are pregnant.  Your eyes widen at your doctor telling you and could feel the world stop around you, nearly dropping the phone inf the process. 

You were carrying Dean’s baby, and you were going to be a mother. 

“Hello, miss Singer? Are you still there?” she responded over the phone, and You swallowed and placed the android to your ear. 

“Yes, I’m still here. And thank you! Thank you so much!” You quickly said to not make her wait and ended the call. You plopped yourself down in your chair. Your mind going into a million different directions. But was certain, you needed to tell Dean. But you would have to wait until he came back from the hunt. He had other things to worry about. The news would have to wait and hopefully, he would be excited about the baby.

    A week had gone by, and Dean still hadn’t return home from his hunt. He called you a couple times throughout the week to make sur you were doing well and getting better. You told him that you were feeling well and had done things to keep you busy. Usually if you were at home, you would be doing the research and asking you for information on a case. Dean told you he would be calling other hunters so that you would be feeling better by the time he got back. You honestly could never ask for a better boyfriend.

   Dean called you yesterday morning and told you he and Sam would be coming home tomorrow after finally finishing the hunt. While you were excited about your boyfriend coming home, you were also more nervous about seeing him. One being telling him about the baby. You weren’t married, but you two had been together for a long time and don’t think that either one of you will want to find someone else. You were it for him and he was it for you. That was enough for now. 

  Also, when you talked to Dean last night, you noticed something very off with the green-eyed hunter. An air of melancholy was very much present ion his voice, of sadness. You often wondered if it had been about the hunt he was on. Granted, it was a very sensitive topic regarding pregnant women and them being kidnapped. However, there was also this hesitant tone with him when he said he needed to talk with you about something urgent, and rather say it to you in private. You agreed and said that you would wait, not hinting that you were going to tell him that you were pregnant.

   It was nearly noon when you heard the garage door open, and the loud rumbling of the impala come into the Bunker. You perked up and shot up from the couch and ran to the bunker doors. As the door open and saw Dean come through the door. You jumped on him and hugged him like your life depended on it. 

“Dean, I missed you, sweetie!!” Shrieking as you kissed Dean’s cheek. You noticed right away that Dean didn’t hug you back, so then you looked at Dean. He didn’t have that same light in his eyes that he had when he left you over a week ago. Something was wrong and you needed to know why. “Dean, are you okay?” you asked with an eye brow raised to him. 

“Yeah, sort of. I’m glad you are doing okay. You look better.” He replied and was about the go to your shared bedroom until he stopped in his tracks. “There is something I need to talk to you about. Let’s go out to lunch and we can talk. Okay?” He said giving you a weak smile.

“Okay.” You said breathlessly. “Plus, there is something that I need to tell you, too.” You say with a smile when he took one last look at you and walked away, leaving your curious about what he wanted to tell you.

…..

   Half an hour later, Dean had showered and told you that he would take you to the closet diner for lunch. He ordered a bacon cheeseburger, and you order yourself a grilled chicken sandwich. Dean asked if you wanted a beer, but you declined, saying that you wanted to drink less alcohol. You wanted to tell him at this diner that you were expecting but refrained until you heard what Dean had to say. When the waitress came by and brought your orders and left, your boyfriend took a deep sigh and took your hand.

“(Name), sweetie. You know I love you, right?” He said hesitantly as you watched you eat your chicken sandwich. You only took one bite when heard Dean talk.

“Yes, of course, Dean. I know how much you love me.” You responded as you whipped up the sauce that was dripping from your mouth with a napkin. 

“Okay, so there is something that I think we need to talk about.” Dean said and you instantly y swallowed in dread. What was it that he needed to talk to you about that he needed to talk to you about? Oh, God. Was he going to break up with you?! What are you going to do about your baby?!

No.

  You just had to relax and wait for what Dean had to say. You should never jump or rush into conclusions because of the words “we need to talk”. You sat straight up and listened to him.

“So, I had been thinking about our future for a while and we have been together for quite some time. I do believe that there is a future for us. Marriage even.” As Dean spoke in earnest about your relationship going forward , you got all giddy inside and couldn’t wait until you told Dean that you were pregnant. 

“Yeah, me too. I totally agree with you, Dean.” You perked up with a smile on your face looking deeply into Dean’s beautiful green eyes.

“Good, I’m glad. You are it for me baby and I can’t imagine my life without you.” He continued and your eyes began to glow. You wonder if he was going to propose to you. “However, there is something I need you to know and how serious I am about this decision. This is absolute and full-on non-negotiable.” He nervously swallowed before he stop those few words that would change the course of your relationship forever. 

“I don’t want us to have kids.”

Chapter 2

[bleongambetta]

Heroic Sacrifice and The Warlord (BL-G Hack)

I saw a post yesterday from @drakeanddice about Blaze of Glory mechanics in tabletop games and was going to just show him what I'm doing for that in (the still obnoxiously named) The BL-G Hack, but then realized it could maybe be a post of my own.

Let's talk mechanics for heroic sacrifice.

Okay, maybe I lied, we're going to talk briefly about WHY mechanics for heroic sacrifice make sense for a game. This is still going to be mostly me dumping over a box of toys, a quick glance at planned mechanics, but I want to ground it a little bit first.

Why would a player want to have a heroic sacrifice moment?

Thematic Payoff: Fantasy fiction is full of moments of a character (especially one who has broken oaths and bonds) sacrificing themselves for the good of the many. We want to see a someone who we didn't think could live up to being a hero doing it.

Strategic Goal Reaching: Setting up a heroic sacrifice will often allow a momentary contract between the GM and the player; I really want X to happen, so much so that I'm willing to give up my character. In exchange, will you give us the cool thing? Yeah, nice.

Character Shuffling: Players don't always want to stick with one character or may have an RL reason that they need to change. This lets them not just fade away.

Kicking Up Drama: In a lot of games (lookin' at you dnd) combat can be lengthy and cumbersome for players that want dramatic play. This shortcuts combat (usually) in order to hit that drama.

With these goals in mind, an ability that does heroic sacrifice needs to be redemptive (it makes the character feel heroic even if they have not been previously), effective (it succeeds at a task), lethal (it definitely kills them), and big (the moment feels important).

The BL-G Hack's Approach

As discussed elsewhere the BL-G hack is a class based DnD-like that uses PbtA inspired abilities and has a focus on World Map play in a West Marches style.

If that sentence didn't make sense, don't worry, it's a game where you do fantasy stuff.

Characters in the BL-G hack will be able to gain Abilities through leveling up, circumstances, equipment, etc, and some of those will be Heroic Sacrifice moves. One of the classes that gets one of these abilities is The Tactician.

The Tactician is based on using martial prowess and tactical knowledge to improve your party's fighting and provides an inroad to the Map Phase. It's based on the 4th edition Warlord pretty explicitly, though it's exchanged martial healing for troop movement in a way that I think will be fun. Here is the Tactician's Heroic Sacrifice Move.

Sheath the Sword: When all is bleak and you take position at a choke point, you may give up your life to hold the position for as long as your allies need to escape to safety. You have a moment to speak with them, confessing your weaknesses and sharing your love for them. You battle long, until the ground is slick with blood and the bodies have stacked before you, weakening the enemy and ensuring that pursuit is delayed long enough to give your allies a true advantage. The spot you died becomes a Landmark where future heroes can use this ability at will.

Notice how this move is aimed to handle those four pieces:

Redemptive: You confess your weaknesses, a fitting redemption for a class that is about not showing weakness.

Effective: It definitively allows your allies to escape to safety from a bad situation. It specifically weakens and delays the pursuit.

Lethal: There's no roll, you die.

Big: Your sacrifice is so noble and awesome that the Map is permanently changed.

When a player picks this ability, they are letting the GM know that they want to have one of these moments and they are setting themselves up for it. It lets the GM know that they can kick up the danger, somebody has an out and they'll want to use it when the moment is right.

Not all classes will get Heroic Sacrifices (multiclassing is SUPER supported and I don't want the classes to feel same-y), but others will include magically pulling down a building onto yourself to destroy a major villain, healing those around you and creating a healing garden around your grave, and writing your soul into a song that can later be played to strengthen your friends.

Roadmap

Work on The BL-G Hack continues to slowly roll on according to my whims and lunch breaks. The actual PDF of it is probably a little bit off, but I'm hoping to have an accessible, playable version available soon. Being honest, Deadly Kobold Racing is going to come out before this in all likelihood, but BL-G Hack should be close behind.

If you'd like to get it as soon as possible, consider backing my Patreon where I'll be doing an announcement post with a link soon! There'll be an itch page too, but it'll need to be more final before that.

When it does come out, maybe I'll have a Heroic Sacrifice contest and add a Dramatic Location to honor whoever manages to pull one of these off first.

Additional Edits:

Thiago makes such a such a good point! I've got two concepts that I think could handle this well to make it a little bit more tempting to take one of these possibly hard-to-pull off abilities.

I might take a look at adding an additional smaller rolling benefit onto these moves. Probably in a way that builds up their reasons for making the move! If I do that, I'll need to make sure that it's not too hugely impactful on it's own; I want it to be a little cherry on top, not a reason on it's own to get the move.

Also, free Abilities are DEFINITELY going to be a thing! My intention is that Abilities are given out like candy, look to Compendium Classes from Dungeon World for some idea of what I'm talking about. You hit a trigger, you get an ability, you have future level up options!

[tartt9]

Jamie doesn't know how much she - or any American, really - knows about his transition from City to Richmond. He could've made a name for himself in sky blue, could've made a career for himself. He could be Ballon d'Or nominated by now, could've had his name listed amongst those of legends [ like it isn't already. Jamie got playing time and an assist during the centurion season, though he's down at the bottom of that list - Jamie Tartt, 51, MF, age 20 ]. He'd just... needed to get away from Manchester, from his dad. He needed the freedom to play without being criticised for every step that he took on the pitch, for the way that he sat on the bench off the pitch. With London comes freedom, comes the ability to learn and explore as a player without constant destructive criticism. Roy's criticism, the other coaches' criticism, the team's criticism, is helpful to him. He can learn from it. His father's just made him feel like he'd never be good enough to play on a level required of the Premier League. So he fucked off. And he did an ickle TV show. And somehow, miraculously, Ted Lasso agreed to give him a second chance. And here he is.

He can feel the condensation on the outside of his glass on his fingertips. Maybe he ought to be drinking more. He looks down at the glass, notices that it's still mostly full. He raises it to his lips, taking another sip. Does everyone think this hard about their alcohol consumption...? He can take a shot easily when he's in an environment for taking shots, when there's music blaring as loud as a crowd in the stands of a derby day, when the lights are flashing and there are bodies pressed up against him and everyone is sweating and nothing matters. But in social situations like this, where he's expected to have a drink or two casually, it's difficult. He knows from experience that he's not a violent drunk, not an an angry drunk, but what if tonight's the night that changes everything? Jamie lowers his glass from his lips, hoping that the whole situation appeared normal to onlookers.

"I mean - what d'you mean, most important?" he asks for clarity, but, once again, doesn't shut up long enough for her to provide it. "Makin' 'em proud is super important t'me. Makin' Roy proud's super important t'me. Makin' m'family proud's super important t'me. But I've got stuff t'prove t'myself, too." Football was one of his first loves. Football and Fleetwood Mac. Jamie wouldn't exist if not for footy, for City – genuinely. His parents met at a City match on Boxing Day. And he can remember a childhood full of watching football, of dreaming of playing for his country someday, or the glory of the Premier League. And now he's got that. He's got the caps, he's got the badge, he's got crowds chanting his name. "But... I guess, yeah, at the end of the day, makin' m'loved ones proud of me's bigger'n makin' myself proud. Learnt that lesson m'loan year, too." He was plenty proud of himself while he was on loan. Eleven goals in 25 weeks of Premier League play is incredibly impressive. But his team wasn't proud of him, and he wasn't being praised by anyone but himself and - occasionally - the commentators and the fans on Twitter. Now he gets hugs, claps on the back, kisses on his head, cheeks, forehead when he scores goals. He has the pride of his club behind him, and it makes him a better player. He wouldn't be playing for the Three Lions if he didn't.

he talks about his past self as if he were a different man. reinvention is something alice ought to familiarize herself with. like shedding skin, coming out of it raw and clean, growing something thicker around her flesh - this time it won't go wrong. maybe she shouldn't have skimmed the wikipedia page. perhaps she could have learned a thing or two from jamie.

better isn't always better, that's something she does know well enough. her life before - before it became what it is now - was supposedly better. she still had a blossoming career, people still cared about the things she had to say. she was still touring, still composing. it seemed, on its surface, a picturesque and unstained tapestry; but look a little closer, you'd have found the loose threads, threatening to unravel with a tug. jamie doesn't tell her this much, but she suspects he knows a little bit about things unraveling too.

she's not listening to the words as much as she is trying to read the things tucked between them. it's unclear what is exactly that she thinks she might find there. some familiarity, maybe, something to latch onto. people are hard for her to digest without that sometimes. most of the time. it all seems bittersweet, the more alice thinks about it, the way athletic careers seem to go. fleeting from one place to another, making a home there, knowing your time there is limited. if she'd ever found a place for herself that felt like home - like family - it may very well kill her to have to leave. everything is futile, fragile. she wonders if that thought is as sad for someone like jamie.

making someone else proud, having someone else to make proud, is not something that she really understands. but she nods her head like she does, like she knows exactly what he means. "yeah," that single word is spoken so soft, barely audible over the noise of a crowded room. she envies him and his happiness, just as she envies every person who can smile or laugh without trying, every person with someone to go home to or call the next day. she doesn't envy the knowledge that it might not last forever. "is that what's most important for you now? making them proud?" what she means to ask is really, do you do you it for them or for you?

[ruanbaijie]

bestie i'm giving you free reign to go absolutely bonkers here, so do what you will with this question (give me all your thoughts)

Can you recommend some cdramas to watch?

hi mandy!!!! go bonkers you say? 👀

ok but full disclosure I’ve done a couple of recs posts before and since then I haven’t watched that many new cdramas, so what I’m gonna do now is to consolidate what I posted there (including my ramblings klaklsdklf) into one super long post (heh)

sorting them into shows I’ve watched, shows I plan to watch but have heard good things about, and shows I’m not currently planning to watch but have heard good things about. all synopses, genres, and tags are from mydramalist!

also! I tend to prefer shows that involve action, mystery, detective, crime, and/ or monsters (think vampires and zombies), so a lot of my favourites and recs (at least those on my completed and to watch lists) are shows of these genres!

someone else also asked me about cdramas / kdramas similar to akatsuki no yona which I’ve answered here for the kdramas! @ anon who asked that, if you’re seeing this post too, my same remarks reply: I’m not exactly sure if there’s a drama with a premise that’s super similar to that of ANY, but I’ve tried to put in notes here and there for dramas that might have similar tropes

completed + my faves (i.e. leT ME SHOVE THIS DOWN YOUR THROAT)

Wei Wu Xian and Lan Wang Ji, two talented disciples of respected clans, meet during cultivation training and accidentally discover a secret carefully hidden for many years. Taking on the legacy of their ancestors, they decide to rid the world of the ominous threat. But in a dramatic turn of events, Wei Wu Xian dies. Sixteen years later, Wei Wu Xian is brought back to life through a self-sacrificing ritual. He conceals himself behind a mask and assumes the identity of his summoner. Soon, Wei Wu Xian reunites with Lan Wang Ji and they start working together to solve the mysteries of the present and unravel the truth behind the events in the past.

Genres: historical, mystery, wuxia, fantasy

Tags: censored adaptation of same-sex original work, tragic past, flashback to past, bromance, power struggle

Fanmade trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mVGYSzg-Pk

ah okay I don’t know if you’ve watched this yet so I’m just dumping it here

it’s easily one of (if not the) most known cdramas internationally! and there’s quite a big fandom on tumblr

I don’t make much content for it now but I’d spent more than 2 years pouring my soul into gifsets for it and it was this show that got me into giffing!

might be similar to ANY because of... majority male cast, action, adventure

In the multiplayer online game Glory, Ye Xiu is well known as the textbook level expert and top-tier player Ye Qiu. Due to a series of circumstances he was forcefully expelled out of his professional team. After leaving the pro-gaming scene he resides at an Internet Café employed as one of the managers. When Glory launches their tenth server he throws himself into the game once more. Equipped with ten years of gaming experience, memories of the past, and an incomplete self-made weapon. His journey back to the top begins.

Genres: action, friendship, youth, sports

Tags: online gaming, strong friendship, game, competition, gamer, sismance, tournament, bromance

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q16DV-6DidU

*SCREAMS*

ok if you’ve snooped around my tumblr recently, you might have realised that I’m VERY obsessed with this right now

I never expected to start 2022 getting hyperfixated over an esports show… alas.

no romance but why does a show need to have romance to be good amirite

amazing action, palatable cgi that I actually came to like

very strong found family feels and underdog story

also somehow manages to teach you life lessons

kickass music that IS NOT ON SPOTIFY ;u;

please just watch this why is the fandom on tumblr so small ;u;

YANG YANG AS YE XIU (´꒳`)♡

it’s a whole damn franchise that I’m getting sucked into right now

season 2 when

might be similar to ANY because of... majority male cast, found family

Set in the mid-1920s. A resourceful young police officer named Qiao Chu Sheng is on the trail of a brutal but devious killer. Realising that the police force will need some extra help with this difficult case, he decides to form an elite crime-busting detective team. He reaches out to a young man who has recently returned from studying in Great Britain, Lu Yao. Qiao Chu Sheng has learned that Lu Yao has remarkable powers of deduction and a brilliant mind – and believes he can help crack this difficult case. To round off the team, he enlists the help of Bai You Ning, a focused young female reporter for a daily newspaper. A free-thinking, independent young woman, she has a strong sense of justice – and pledges to help catch the killer. The trio form a small detective squad that specialises in solving strange and unsettling murder mysteries.

Genres: thriller, historical, mystery, romance

Tags: investigation, Chinese Republican Era, bromance, slight romance, friendship, roommates, murder, bickering couple

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ijcA-Fxh24

I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH OKAY I WATCHED IT TWICE

chuyao <333

though from what I’ve seen on tumblr you either love it very much or you drop it

a lot of people really don’t like the female lead though - she can get a bit annoying

also the scenes with english dub are.... hilarious

there’s a second season coming up with the same two male leads, with a similar premise of crime solving in the chinese republican era but they’re no longer playing the same characters (i.e. main characters are different I don’t know how that works)

In 15th-century China, a quick-witted, senior-ranking government official named Tang Fan takes a break from his routine activities in order to investigate a murder, teaming up with martial arts specialist guardsman Sui Zhou in a bid to solve the case. When the peace-loving landlord of the house Tang Fan is renting is found dead, the duo investigates. It is an apparent suicide, but the investigative pair quickly realises that something looks amiss. They investigate and eventually succeed in finding a suspect they believe may have killed the landlord. But they soon learn that this murderer did not act alone – and is just a smaller player in a much grander scheme. As they dig deeper into the crime, the duo soon realises that something very sinister is afoot – including a plot to launch a bloody coup. Can they stop the criminal mastermind before time runs out?

Genres: historical, mystery, drama

Tags: censored adaptation of same-sex original work, Ming Dynasty, bromance, investigation

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCEJd5EI5rc

a really good show! cases are much more solid than MRIAD imo (but I’m biased towards MRIAD *cough*)

adapted from a bl novel that is apparently quite different

In order to leave the assassin organisation The Window of Heaven, the leader Zhou Zi Shu performs an obligatory departure technique, leaving him with three years left to live. He disguises his face and tries to live the remainder of his days as a drunkard wandering the martial arts world. Three months later, he meets the mysterious Wen Ke Xing, who immediately notices Zhou Zi Shu’s façade. The two then grow closer when they get entangled in a conspiracy regarding the Glazed Armour, a protected legendary key to a powerful armoury.

Genres: historical, mystery, wuxia, fantasy

Tags: hidden identity, censored adaptation of same-sex original work, antihero, martial arts, jianghu, revenge, tragic past

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=danLFjQ53aw

another cdrama with a pretty big fandom on tumblr!

also another one for which I was making quite a number of sets a year back

there’s a short 37th episode because if they’d just stopped at 36 it would have been quite a shitty ending

might be similar to ANY because of... action, adventure

completed

During the Republican era, a river is haunted by inexplicable occurrences. Guo De You is a policeman who succeeds in his master 'Old River God' and has inherited his ability to weed out the guilty whenever he lights the pipe. He ends up being suspected of the murder of a distinguished chairman whose son Ding Mao joins hands with him to uncover the truth. Together with some unlikely partners, they begin an investigation that leads them to an incident that happened twenty years ago.

Genres: historical, mystery, horror, supernatural

Tags: Chinese Republican Era, shamanism, adapted from a novel, psychic, bromance, investigation, hypnosis

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egtvJ8Gs3dg

During the Song Dynasty, Ye Zhao cross dresses to become a general of outstanding ability, receiving a top rank of general. The Empress Dowager constantly worries about Ye Zhao holding too much power and took the opportunity to betroth Ye Zhao to one of the Emperor's nephews, the no-good Prince of Nanping, Zhao Yujin, who possesses remarkable beauty but is pampered, lazy and spends his time on "useless" artistic pursuits. Thus, the story of the real battle of who will take power in this new household begins.

Genres: military, historical, comedy, romance

Tags: tomboy, arranged marriage, female warrior, cross-dressing, multiple couples, gender role reversal, Song Dynasty

Trailer (no EN subs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EZe-C_w67I

oh my god this show. it’s so underrated ヽ(´Д`;)ﾉ

the dynamics between ye zhao (sandra ma) and zhao yu jin (peter ma) are AMAZING

especially the heart eyes he keeps giving her when he realises how head over heels he is in love with her

and how much being in love with her changed him from lazy snotty aristocrat to actual functioning “I Will Protect My General Wife Even Though I Can’t Fight At All” member of the government

side note its chinese name literally means “general above/ on top”, and this series was adapted from a novel called 将军在上我在下 “general above/ on top, I am below” like HMMMM

also the costuming in this show is ridiculously colourful and lowkey japanese-like because they actually got a japanese costume designer

might be similar to ANY because of... strong female lead who kicks ass

A world beyond scientific understanding with a group of passionate adults trying to solve cases done by such forces. Zhao Yun Lan and Shen Wei are tasked with upholding peace between underworld dwellers and humans, and the story will focus on their friendship that transcends past and present lifetimes.

Genres: friendship, thriller, mystery, fantasy

Tags: bromance, censored adaptation of same-sex original work, star crossed lovers, hidden identity, tragic past, power struggle

MV of one of the OST songs sung by the two main actors but can pretty much function as a trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHz6e8c0FZY

ah where do I begin

adapted from Priest’s bl novel Guardian

terrible sfx (that makes the sfx in the untamed looks amazing), barely intriguing plot after the first few episodes

BUT. BUT.

the chemistry between zhao yunlan (bai yu) and shen wei (zhu yilong) is ridiculously good ヾ(*′○`)ﾟ.+:｡ﾟ☆

this show was censored so heavily and diverged so much from the original novel, but the actors and the entire crew knew that they were acting a romance and not a romance and it damn well showed

I believe that this show set the road for the untamed because even though it became so wildly popular among fans that I guess it signalled to show runners the possibility of drama adaptations of BL novels despite the heavy censorship

Set in the Republican Era in Shanghai in the 1930s: An intriguing crime case emerges amidst the bustling city. A beautiful new graduate of the police academy, Qin Xiao Man, joins the investigation unit. The famous detective Luo Fei becomes her colleague and neighbour. Together they solve case after case with a growing conspiracy appearing.

Genres: thriller, historical, mystery, comedy

Tags: crime solving duo, Chinese Republican Era, investigation, suspense, murder, Shanghai French Concession, Sherlock and Watson, attempted assault

Trailer (no EN subs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CLfIut0VDI

quite similar to MRIAD, in that it’s a detective show set in the republican era and is structured according to a few episodes per case (in this case - lol - it’s three episodes per case) but with an overarching plot

I feel like they didn’t really touch on the overarching plot here except for a couple of cases? the rest of the cases are unlinked to the overarching plot

though overall the overarching plot feels better executed than MRIAD (which was just… lol)

female lead is absolutely likeable and I’m so glad they didn’t force a romance between the male lead (bai yu) and her

very Sherlock Holmes-ey, down to the music

A story that follows Wang Lu, a young genius, who enters the Spirit Blade Sect and embarks on an unconventional journey towards immortal cultivation. The Spirit Blade Sect was established in the year 4233. Through years of producing martial arts prodigies, it has been hailed as one of the five great sects. As the nine continents face a crisis, a genius by the name of Wang Lu joins the Spirit Blade Sect and comes under the tutelage Wang Wu. Despite Wang Wu's beauty, she is hundreds of years in age. Famous for having a sharp tongue and an erratic temper, she and her disciple Wang Lu engage in endless squabbles while trudging on a path to becoming the strongest sage in all the lands.

Genres: historical, romance, wuxia, fantasy

Tags: xianxia, student-teacher relationship, bromance, slapstick, slow burn romance

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5nshXtTD-k

quite a fun, lighthearted show to watch

big on humour but also has its smart moments

reminded me of a more lighthearted version of joy of life (below)

female lead is super sassy

Fan Xian is born in the ancient empire of Southern Qing with memories of the 21st century. He lives in a rural town as the illegitimate son of the Minister of Finance, raised by his grandmother. His mother, Ye Qingmei was once a celebrated inventor and the founder of the Overwatch Department, the country's spy network but was killed shortly after her son was born. Fan Xian has since been protected by a blind martial arts expert, Wu Zhu, his mother's bodyguard. He learns martial arts and the art of poison as a child, also assisted by his knowledge from the 21st century. After an assassination attempt, he decides to venture into the capital to find out more about his mysterious mother and why anyone would want to kill him, as he perceives himself to be an unimportant person. He also wants to know why he has memories of a sharply different era. In the capital, he accidentally meets Lin Wan'er, the sickly illegitimate daughter of the Princess Royal and falls in love with her.

Unbeknownst to him, she is the woman the emperor chose for him to marry so that he would be the new overseer of the Royal Treasury, an institute Fan Xian's mother established in the palace and currently handled by the Princess Royal. In the capital, however, he gets entangled in the intrigues of the Emperor and the two Princes, as well as the Overwatch Department, leading to him questioning his whole identity and inducing him to find his true life goals, abandoning his original intention to just "enjoy life".

Genres: historical, mystery, romance, wuxia

Tags: martial arts, time travel, sword-fight, power struggle, scheme, sci-fi

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D5AyJAXqiE

believe me or not, this show actually has quite a fair bit of science fiction in it

it’s a super clever show and involves a bit of thinking

also stars xiao zhan as a side character that has a completely different personality from wei wuxian

character to look out for: Second Prince. He’s the scene stealer

character description from wiki that I just had to include: Lin Wan'er, a chicken drumstick princess

A story that revolves around a Peking opera performer and a wealthy businessman who are brought together by their love for Peking opera. Set in the 1930's, it follows Shang Xi Rui, a Peking opera performer who relies on his exceptional talent to gain fame in Beiping. Being an outsider, he faces opposition from the locals but doesn't relent nor give up in fulfilling his dreams to promote Peking opera. As he pours himself into mastering the art, wealthy businessman Cheng Feng Tai becomes deeply captivated after watching a performance for the first time. He makes acquaintance with Shang Xi Rui and becomes an avid supporter. Through Cheng Feng Tai's help, Shang Xi Rui builds Shui Yun Lou and trains a new troupe. When the Japanese army invade Beiping in 1937 and patriotic men and women take up arms to fight, Shang Xi Rui and Cheng Feng Tai are moved to make sacrifices for their country.

Genres: historical, business, romance, drama

Tags: Chinese opera, Chinese Republican Era, censored adaptation of same-sex original work, businessman, bromance, performing arts

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k1XBsF1YlY

a bit of a long show but I enjoyed it from start to end!

a good show that introduces you to the chinese opera scene, plus with the backdrop of the japanese invasion

absolutely stunning costumes

ALL THE HEART EYES BETWEEN CHENG FENGTAI AND SHANG XIRUI

The iron triangle Wu Xie, Pang Zi and Zhang Qiling restart their adventure after receiving an unusual text from Wu Sansheng. Wu Xie, Pang Zi and Zhang Qiling have hung up their hats to end a ten-year promise. After trading their adventures for a normal life, a text from Wu Sansheng drives them to embark on a mysterious journey for the sake of family and friendship.

Genres: adventure, mystery, horror, fantasy

Tags: survival, teamwork, tomb raiding, bromance, treasure hunting, slight comedy

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=649NPvrwoLY

seems super long but was actually aired in two seasons

tbh I would’ve listed horror as one of those genres

because especially in the first half of the show I was watching most of it from behind my hands

there are a whole bunch of series and movies before this one, it’s part of a super big franchise (probably one of the biggest franchises) in china called 盗墓笔记 (the grave robber chronicles, or the lost tomb)

but you don’t have to watch the previous shows to know what’s going on because this one pretty much starts from a new arc, give or take a few casual references thrown into the conversation referring to their past adventures (which are also shown in the opening if you know what to look out for)

xhu yilong here is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from xhu yilong in guardian. there he was invincible ass kicking alien. here he is sick dying old uncle who needs to be protected but still pretty damn smart.

Miss Su Wen Li, a beautiful and witty socialite, forms an unlikely detective duo with the righteous and serious inspector Luo Qiuheng. Despite their many differences, the pair share an undeniable chemistry and - of course - go on to solve many cases together in and around Shanghai, all while Su Wen Li chases clues behind her sister's disappearance, which happened ten years ago, yet is forever a thorn in her heart.

Genres: historical, mystery, romance

Tags: Chinese Republican Era, investigation, detective fiction, historical fiction, slight comedy

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ucsbbo5-P5o

another detective show set in the early 20th century! (I have A Type)

su wenli is absolutely incredible and sassy and the rare female detective

Chen Si is a righteous detective who got partnered up with Yuan Bu Jie, a dream reader with unrivalled interpreting skills as well as a dark past. They work together to find the truth behind a series of serial murders.

Genres: thriller, historical, mystery, supernatural

Tags: Chinese Republican Era, suspense, murder, detective fiction, historical fiction, special power

Trailer (no EN subs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHJ9tsxXITk

I really found this quite good and I was (am??) quite bummed that not a lot of people have picked it up ahaha

maybe it’s because it hasn’t really been subbed though?? at least when I was watching it. I’m not sure if it’s still not subbed in english

A story that follows two men who are polar opposites, one kills, while the other heals. One is a violent cop and the other is a compassionate doctor. Together they support and redeem each other during troubled times. Jiang Yue Lou heads the Jingcheng Police Station and appears neither good nor evil. Yet smugglers tremble at the thought of him. While investigating an opium case in Hong Kong, Yue Lou encounters Yu Zhi who learns that Yue Lou suffers from bipolar disorder. Although initially reluctant to undergo treatment, Yue Lou eventually opens up to Yu Zhi. Despite their differing values they slowly become close friends. At this time, the secrets from the past start to bubble to the surface.

Genres: thriller, historical, mystery, crime

Tags: bromance, strop friendship, censored romance, Chinese Republican Era, bipolar disorder, drugs, investigation

Trailer (no EN subs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fafu0-GU7Ko

the chinese name for this show is super poetic

another one for the heart eyes between the two main male leads

Young girl Chu Chu came from a family of coroners. She meets Prince Xiao Jin Yu, a dignified prince in charge of criminal lawsuit who appeared weak and sickly. Prince Xiao lacks reliable manpower to investigate case, while Chu Chu lacks people to step up, take charge and be a man. Together, they manage to unravel a shocking case that has dragged on for 18 years. After solving the case, she won the Emperor's approval and is finally certified as the Imperial Coroner, fulfilling her life goal.

Genres: historical, mystery, romance, medical

Tags: forensic medical examiner, investigation, slow burn romance, Tang Dynasty, coroner, palace politics

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otdEkk6ntdw

has romance as well as bromance

a good balance of forensics / crime-solving and palace politics shenanigans!

here’s a really well summarised infographic by @/dramavixen

You Yi is a young, innocent, and kind-hearted socialite and a successful author, living with everyone's adoration and envy. Her perfect life is turned upside-down when she discovers a betrayal by the two most trusted people in her life. With no one left to turn to, she finds refuge in the friendship and support of Yan Wei, a young photographer with a cold personality. Unbeknownst to all, Yan Wei has a deadly secret identity.

Genres: thriller, historical, mystery, drama

Tags: censored adaptation of same-sex original work, Chinese Republican Era, female centred plot, opposites attract, sismance, murder, revenge, extramarital affair, infidelity

Trailer (no EN subs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWPDjkXC6io

a really quick watch, one of the rare wlw cdramas around

republican era aesthetics!!!

plan to watch

The story follows the amnesiac detective Jian Buzhi who starts on a quest to finding the truth and unmasking his father's killer. Along the way, he finds a love interest and a good friend who work hand in hand with him to solve mysterious cases.

Genres: historical, mystery, romance, wuxia

Tags: murder, amnesia, bromance, sword-fight, hidden identity, strong friendship, swordsman, death

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3J7CML_u50

Wu Xie and Wang Pan Zi are trying to find out what really happened during The Mystic Nine's trip to Parcel Island while also curious about his uncle’s past. Weighing heavily on his heart though, is the disappearance of his friend Zhang Qi Ling/"Xiao Ge". Wu Xie finds himself mixed up in the same elaborate conspiracy he has been trying to solve but with what looked like dire consequences. Undaunted, he forged ahead with clues he'd uncovered from place to place, finally reuniting with Xiao Ge, joining another group of explorers led by Wu Xie's old acquaintance Ah Ning along with his friends Wang Pan Zi and Pan Zi. They were also later joined by Xie Yu Chen and Hie Yan Jing, along with Wu Xie's uncle. During this trip, Wu Xie was dealt a devastating blow while Xiao Ge lost his memory again. After briefly returning home, Wu Xie and Wang Pan Zi decided to try and find out more about Xiao Ge's past to help him regain the memories he lost. That trip led them on another adventure and they found themselves backtracking to their previous expedition and the evil force trying to cover up some dark secrets. Thanks to an ancient Lei family blueprint, Wu Xie became acquainted with Madam Huo of the Jiumen Sect. At her insistence, the group embarked on a tomb raid of the real Zhang Manor which the Jiumen Sect had attempted many years ago in a final attempt to search for the truth. At the last possible moment, a puzzle is incorrectly solved leaving the entering group including Xiao Ge to disappear into the unknown, with the mystery unsolved and Wu Xie devastated. All hope is not lost though, as Xie Yu Chen makes a suggestion to Wu Xie that he simply cannot refuse.

Genres: action, adventure, thriller, mystery

Tags: tomb raiding, bromance, survival, teamwork, strong friendship, slight comedy, horror

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4H5tWUKJiU

A story that follows an aerospace engineer Yu Tu and the shining star Qiao Jing Jing. A decision is made to start gaming in order to save her endorsement deal brings her face to face with an old crush. As they grow closer, the two forge ahead to become each other's glory. Being a well-known celebrity, Qiao Jing Jing has to keep up with appearances in order to maintain her multi-faceted image. Alas, one starts to crack when someone leaks a video of her playing an online game and being terrible at it which is completely inconsistent with the image she has created for herself as the game's ambassador. Thus, she joins a gaming competition to prove her skills and to prevent herself from losing her endorsements. Qiao Jing Jing decides to use all of her free time towards improving her game and her decision leads her to reconnect with her old high school classmate, Yu Tu, whom she once had a crush on. He was a legend at their school, outstanding in everything that he does, while Qiao Jing Jing was just your average girl. Yu Tu went on to become an aerospace engineer who is also an expert gamer. It seems that the online game brought them together once more so she asks him to become her gaming coach.

Genres: comedy, romance, life, youth

Tags: time skip, first love returns, steamy kiss, friends to lovers, aerospace engineer, dream

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23PlXDnakJM

Xu Xiao is the King of China’s Northern Liang in an era of great upheaval. Steppe kingdoms have materialised with deadly intent, as rebellious uprisings threatened to destabilise the Southern realm. Against all odds, Xu Xiao managed to defeat them all. During this period, his unconventional, free-spirited heir, Xu Feng Nian been on the road, honing his equestrian skills and bolstering his fighting prowess. On his journey, he encounters the double sword-wielding martial artist Nan Gong Pu She, who’s soon to become his confidante. In the court of Northern Liang is Jiang Ni, a twelve-year-old girl who is actually a princess from a rival kingdom, with a mind for revenge. As Xu Feng Nian ascends the throne, concerns arise fearing him incapable of following in his father’s footsteps. Xu Feng Nian, despite having mounted a decisive campaign, encounters a crisis while en route to a neighbouring province. Its outcome could very well determine the entire realm's future.

Genres: historical, wuxia, drama, fantasy

Tags: sword-fight, martial arts, master-servant relationship, scheme, slight romance, father-son relationship

Trailer (no EN subs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tO6MsdVphM

When Li Shi Qing awoke that fateful morning, she had no idea her life was about to change forever. Going about her day as usual, Shi Qing boarded the bus without ever giving her actions a second thought. But when the bus she was on was involved in a horrendous accident, Shi Qing had only seconds to realise that her life was about to end. Or was it? Waking up that very same morning, going through the exact same motions, boarding the same bus, and dying in the same accident, over and over again, Shi Qing soon realises that she has become trapped in a never-ending time loop. Desperate to find a way to escape not only the loop but her tragic fate, Shi Qing inadvertently drags fellow bus passenger, Xiao He Yun, into the loop with her. Together they try to find a way to alter their fate, by ensuring the bus arrives safely at its destination but attempting to do so proves anything but easy.

Genres: thriller, mystery, sci-fi

Tags: time loop, explosion, investigation, suspense, slight romance, student, game designer, time travel, web series

Fanmade trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot4OfjUF_Zo

The young painter Shen Yi resigned from the Academy of Fine Arts and entered Haicheng Public Security Bureau mysteriously. Interpol Captain Du Cheng was furious and said that he would never accept those who caused his comrade to be killed in the police force. Five years ago, Shen Yi, who was still a student, was sketching on the street. A man took a picture of a child and asked him to draw what the child would look like as an adult. However, this painting caused Haicheng detective Lei Yi Fei to be exposed as an undercover agent and he was killed. And Lei Yi Fei happened to be Du Cheng's long-time friend and confidant. The strange thing is that, no matter how hard Shen Yi tried of recall for a few years, he couldn't draw the face of the man who asked him to paint the child's photo. Five years later, the guilt became heavier. In order to find out the truth, Shen Yi accepted the invitation of Director Zhang of the Public Security Bureau and became a portraitist of the Interpol Team. Under Zhang Ju’s persuasion and arrangement, Du Cheng had to accept that he became a colleague with Shen Yi, but he was still full of annoyance and despised Shen Yi’s “drawing to solve cases,” and the two became the “ticking bomb” in the team. However, in several collaborations, Shen Yi has repeatedly cracked the "dead end" of cases with his "three-year-old painting", "drawing based on audio," "micro-colour discrimination" and other stunts, which slowly started to impress Du Cheng. More importantly, the truth of Lei Yi Fei's death is still buried in Shen Yi's memory. On the way to find out the truth of Lei Yi Fei's life and death, the two people who were pursuing alone gradually untie their knots and rely on each other. In the end, "the heaven-matched partners" work together to uncover the dust-covered secrets and create a new world for each other.

Genres: thriller, mystery

Tags: murder, death, investigation, forensic sketch artist, deepfake, imposter, domestic violence, detective, elder fraud, plastic surgery

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddWLaA5DEMk

not planning to watch but still recommended!

In sixth-century China, Emperor Xiaoxuan of Southern Liang orders the unjust execution of his brother-in-law General Lin Xie, alongside the Lin family, his 70,000 army soldiers, and Crown Prince Qi. Secretly surviving the massacre is Lin Xie's son, Lin Shu, who undergoes medical treatment that changes his appearance entirely and leaves him in a weakened state, unable to perform martial arts again. Lin Shu changes his name to Mei Chang Su and later becomes the chief of the pugilist world and establishes the Jiangzuo Alliance. Twelve years later, Lin Shu returns to the capital with a secret plan after being sought after by Prince Yu and Prince Xian during their fight for the throne. He decides to covertly assist Prince Jing, the unfavoured son of the Emperor, and wisely rids the court of all scheming officials.

Genres: historical, wuxia, drama, political

Tags: power struggle, tragic past, hidden identity, scheme, childhood friends, political intrigue, revenge, bromance, sword-fight

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ5LBRJCUcg

Having finally sold her TV series script, aspiring screenwriter Chen Xiao Qian soon falls under the scrutiny of the male lead, who refuses to act out the role. Vowing to make her script successful, she starts re-writing. While napping, she is transported into her own story, becoming the Third Princess Chen Qian Qian, a side character. Armed with the knowledge of her own script in which her character is soon to be killed in the third episode by Prince Han Shuo, the male lead, Xiao Qian is determined to stay alive and find her way back home.

Genres: historical, comedy, romance, fantasy

Tags: transmigration, screenwriter, parody, bickering couple, writer, love/ hate relationship, gender politics

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5kTims-cmU

A thousand years since the battle between the demons and heavens took place, the souls of the Star of Mosha and the God of War are sent to the mortal realm to serve penance. In the mortal realm, Chu Xuan Ji, daughter of the Shaoyang Sect Leader, is deprived of her six senses. At a tournament, she meets Yu Si Feng, a skilled disciple of Lize Palace who was born on the same day as her, and the two develop a friendship. Promising to meet again, Si Feng returns to his sect where he is punished for breaking the rules and forced to wear a mask that could potentially harm his life, while Xuan Ji leaves her home to train in martial arts. Four years later, their destinies intertwine anew. While traveling together, recovered memories from their past lives surface, revealing secrets and conspiracies involving themselves and the three realms; demon, heavenly, and mortal. These revelations have a profound impact on their relationship, creating an imbalance in all three realms.

Genres: historical, romance, wuxia, fantasy

Tags: reincarnation, deity, female warrior, hidden identity, xianxia, fated love

Trailer (no EN subs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkS_XhQNBYQ

On a hunt for treasure and extra cash, sixth year primary school student Shi Guang discovered an old Go board in his grandfather’s house. Upon touching the Go board, he was possessed by the spirit of a Go master from the Southern Dynasty, during the reign of Emperor Song, named Chu Ying, that resides within. Chu Ying dedicated his life to Go. And under his influence, Shi Guang gradually developed a passion for the game.

Genres: comedy, drama, sports, supernatural

Tags: bromance, competition, strong friendship, character development, go game, rivalry, friendship, spirit, life lesson

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m2bSej0HxQ

The year is 626 C.E, and the realm and its political center Chang’an, are shaken to its core by the Xuanwu Gate Incident, a successful palace coup to take charge of the Tang Dynasty. A scheming prince leads the bloody coup and kills the family of Li Chang Ge during the raid, although she manages to escape. Now the prince has placed himself on the Imperial throne, and rules as Emperor Tai Zong. Li Chang Ge has her mind firmly set on revenge – and musters a powerful army intent on overthrowing the new Emperor. But her plans are thrown into disarray when she suffers an unexpected defeat against the armies of the Eastern Turkic Khaganate. The victorious General, Ashile Sun, decides to keep her in his service, making her his military strategist as he looks to pursue his own military goals. The duo forms a formidable military partnership. And over time, she finds herself falling for her captor – as he also starts developing feelings for her.

Genres: action, historical, romance, war

Tags: friends to lovers, character development, Tang Dynasty, betrayal, hidden identity, slow burn romance

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ2xNMT7d7Q

As the only true immortal who possesses pure essence energy, Shang Gu has spent countless lifetimes acting as the head of the four true immortals of the ancient world. The four most powerful beings in existence, these true immortals have become gods in the eyes of the mortals who constantly beseech them for help. When commoners encounter difficulties, they will pray to the Gods, but what if Gods meet obstacles? It tells the deep love and hardship between two of the four true Gods, Bai Jue and Shang Gu.

Genres: historical, romance, wuxia, fantasy

Tags: xianxia, reincarnation, bromance, action, demon

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4m_IYU7ENI

[justmypartner]

Another top 3 question for you! Top 3 moments where Jay is worried about Hailey. And…go!

This one was super hard because all of the moments that they are worried about each other are so compelling in different ways, so I cheated just a bit because I couldn’t choose. I would apologize, but I have a feeling there won’t be any complaints for a little extra worried Jay.

1. Worried Partner | 5x06: this was the first worried Jay moment, so it holds a very special place on this top 3 list. They hadn’t been partners for very long, but he reciprocated just a small amount of concern she had shown for him in the brief amount of time they had been paired up together. The shoulder touch is also the first of many, and you can tell by the look on his face how unconvinced he is of just how “okay” she is. Such a simple scene, but so significant in the grand scheme of things.

2. “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen” | 5x18: if I could include this whole episode in my answer, I would. This entire episode served some of the absolute best worried Jay moments, establishing the foundation for what became one of the strongest and most beautiful friendship to lovers ships on tv. His insistence on staying, knowing it was what she really needed despite what her words were telling him will never not make my heart melt. He was so worried about her, and even though having someone worry and care about her in that way wasn’t something she was used to, she let him because it was Jay and she trusted him.

3. Worried Husband | 9x13: this scene gives me the absolute chills. It is so haunting but SO GOOD. Everyone else’s eyes are on the screen, but his eyes are on her and his face says it all. He knows exactly where her mind is going. That moment or realization was destroying her, and I imagine knowing that was destroying him in a completely different way.

Bonus | 6x14: THIS. ONE. I couldn’t find a gif of this one, so you get the full clip in all of its glory. The way he stands when he sees her, then he can’t bring himself to even look at her?? Stab me in the heart. It would hurt less.

[wolfstarhaven]

WOLFSTAR: ROAD TRIP

(Road trip / camping / vacation)

Summer is here! Let me therefore present some wolfstar!road trip recs! There’s just something amazing about these kinds of marauders-on-vacation types of fics. I don’t know what it is, I just love them. So here we go!🚘🏕

Hard To Find, by accioromulus (13k)

The air conditioning is already broken, Sirius's back has been effectively glued to the leather seat via sweat, and this road-trip may have been a Very Bad Idea.

Definitely my fav road trip fic EVER. This is just sooooo beautiful, in every way. It’s so soft and sweet and cute and perfect and I love it. READ IT!🚘🚘

Harmonicas, Hinky-punks, and Heather, by @squidgilator (23k)

Sirius and Remus get stranded in Scotland on Order business, and decide to walk to Hogwarts. Featuring the Brontës, a harmonica, a shrinking tent, and some self-discovery.

A post-Hogwarts (first war) fic with absolutely no angst. This is incredibly sweet and funny, clever and well-written. Read it!

All Your Glory In Your Form, by ohkay  (2k)

In the aftermath of Sirius leaving the Noble and Most Ancient Mausoleum of Black, things go a little sideways, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter think the beach will cure all ills.

Super short but such a sweet fic. In which after Sirius has been disowned, the boys go on a little vacation. Well worth your time!🌊🌊

Going As Planned, by lionturtles (2k)

Camping, drinking, awkward kissing.

Oh I like this one! I’ve read it so many times😍 It’s a very marauder-y fic (basically the boys being the idiots they all are). A campfire, marshmallows, a game of never have I ever - what more could you need? 🔥⛺️

One for the road, by rojohbi (4k)

Piling into the car was uncomfortable and cramped, but there was something oddly satisfying about sitting on ratty blankets in the backseat, a box of fresh comfort food at his feet and Sirius’ legs splayed over his lap as the other backseat-inhabitant nestled himself into the corner and almost immediately began snoring. James met his eyes through the rearview, and this time when he saw the knowing smile, Remus smiled right back.

This fic was such a pleasant surprise! It’s a short fic, but at the same time it kinda feels like a longer fic. Gorgeous! A little angsty (but ofc with a happy ending), with a lot of Remus doubting himself. It also has so much feeling - it’s beautifully written, and kinda makes me wanna go on road trip. And the pining! Sweet lord, it was wonderful! I definitely recommend this fic🚘

Heat, by LadyAmina (2k)

The summer air is too warm. The campfire isn't helping. Neither is Sirius's head in his lap. Neither is the burning blood in his veins. Remus is overwhelmed and something has to give.

A cute little camping-fic in which Remus gets a li’l jealous, when James and Sirius discuss girls (how could that be???)🥰🔥🏕

June, And Other Natural Disasters, by montparnasse (6k)

Sirius talks, begs, and bribes Remus into a spontaneous trip to Brighton the summer of their graduation. Remus loses all sense of direction; Sirius loses his shirt; Remus kisses the last moth-eaten vestiges of his sanity a long, sloppy goodbye.

This is not as much fluffy, as it is sexy🔥🔥 Honestly, it’s a little too smutty for my taste - but it’s still very good! If you’ve read anything by montparnasse before, you know that they write really well. So, if you’d like to read a well written vacation-fic full of sexual tension, then this is the fic for you!🏖

Camping, Comfort, and Clichés, by oliverdalstonbrowning (5k)

Remus goes on a camping trip with his friends, and discovers all the comfort and clichés that go with it.

Very cute!! I just love a fic in which Remus is pining - it’s everything I need in life. Go read it!⛺️⛺️

the private kind of purple, by greenscape (6k)

Post-grad summer. They are reaching for things they cannot name.

Or, it's four days out of Hogwarts and Sirius and Remus go wild camping in Scotland.

This. Is. Beautiful. Quite painful, to be honest, but so damn beautiful. It’s tagged with the very appropriate tag “light on the camping heavy on the angst”, which I’d say is very fitting. But oh, you have to read it! Just... the prose! Everything! I don’t know what more to say except give you this little snippet:

“But now Sirius is asking, not telling, and Remus is tired, and the tent is dark, so dark, and they are the only two people in the world, surely. And Remus wants Sirius more than he wants to be back at Hogwarts. More, even, than he wants to be fully human.”

tomorrow, when the world is free, by waynebruce (2k)

Sirius, in a tour-guide voice: “The White Cliffs of Dover, part of the North Downs formation, is the region of English coastline facing the Strait of Dover and France. The cliff face, which reaches a height of 110 metres, owes its striking appearance to the composition of chalk accented by streaks of black flint-”

“Padfoot, mate, you never told us you could read,” says James. Sirius whacks the back of his head with the guidebook.

Such a beautifully written road trip! A pre-slash fic in which Remus pines a lot.

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out, by @wanderingbandurria (2,4k)

Sirius might have a plan on the summer before seventh year that might not be completely legal. And he might invite Remus to partake in it. And Remus - he might says yes and find himself being Sirius' getaway car in an unexpected road trip through the countryside.

Or, a summer road trip leads to Sirius and Remus to review their feelings for the other.

A different kind of road trip! In which the boys are friends with benefits, and thus are pining away because of their inability to communicate… stupid lovely little boys! This little fic is absolutely wonderful.

That’s it, friends! I hope you enjoy, and that you’re having a lovely summer so far<3

xx Elliot🌸

[patrickswhore]

Karl Heisenberg X male reader

A/n: i couldn’t find any gifs of my daddy so I made one 😂 also sorry for not updating for a while, schools been tough but I’m in self isolation so I have plenty of time to write 😂 also light smut towards the end.

I stood at the back of my house, chopping wood for the burner. The snow fell heavy, making the wood crunch as it hit the cold ground.

I could see my breath as I breathed out in exhaustion. This winter was gonna be tough for me and my family. As the only man in my household and newly turned 21, I was just waiting for my sisters to play match makers and find me a young lady... hopefully that would be a while. In my village, being attracted to the same gender isn’t really a thing. So I’ll just have to suck it up, marry and have kids... you know, conform to society.

I walked inside with the lumber, shaking to get the snow off me like a wet dog. I placed it by the fireplace and threw a few blocks on the fire.

I hung my jacket on the coat rack and walked to the living room where my sister was sitting, chatting with a friend and drinking tea.

“Where’ve you been, (Y/N)? Fooling around with a lady?” My sister asked sarcastically, making fun of my lack of luck with women.

“Very funny, Paula” I rolled my eyes and walked into my moms bedroom, knocking softly on the door before entering.

Mother was laying in bed, looking at the ceiling. I knelt by her side, taking her hand. Ever since father passed away she hasn’t been the same, she lays in bed all day, not talking nor eating much.

“How are you feeling, mother?”

“....”

“I haven’t found a job yet.. but I promise I’ll find the money for your medicine, mother.... I promise”

She didn’t answer, she just kept on staring. I sighed and walked out the room, closing the door softly behind me.

“(Y/N), one of the neighbours came with this letter for you when you were out”

My sister handed me a letter, my name on the front in a crude handwriting. I opened the letter, it had a beautiful wax seal, decorated with a horse. The letter read:

Dear (Y/N)

Congratulations on your 21th birthday. You’ve been selected to come work for Karl Heisenberg at the factory on the outskirts of town. You’ve been selected because of your high grades and physical attributes. Please report to the factory as quickly as possible.

Kind regards, Karl Heisenberg.

My heart skipped a beat, Karl Heisenberg was asking me to come work for him. I couldn’t believe it, I rushed to me and my sisters room, quickly putting on some clean clothes and my prayer shoes. I ran into my mothers room, kneeling besides her once again.

“Mother, great news! I’m gonna go work for Lord Heisenberg...”

“.....”

“I love you mother, I’ll be back soon”

I rushed out, giving my sister a peak on the forehead and storming out the front door and into the freezing weather.

I walked up the hill to the metal doors, the factory was up and running, making a hell of a lot of noise. I banged on the heavy doors before it slowly opened on its own, revealing a room filled with scrap metal.

I heard the cracking sound of an intercom before hearing a low voice speaking.

“Ah! (Y/N) great you’re here so quickly. Please make your way to my office, all you have to do is make a left where you are and walk straight. It’s as easy as that, I’ll be waiting”

That must be lord Heisenberg speaking. I straighten up and walked as I had been instructed to. The condors were cramped and dimly lit by red lamps. I felt like the further into the factory I got, the more a putrid smell started to emerge. I finally reached the door, knocking two times.

“Yeah come on in!”

I slowly pushed open the metal door and was pleased that the wretched smell was now being overpowered by the scent of cigar smoke. There he sat, his back turned to me as I slowly shut the door. His hair was long and rugged, and he was toying with a small knife between his fingers.

“It’s great to finally meet you, (Y/N) (L/N). My men has had their eyes on you for a while, but you’re more impressive in person” the man stood up, he was taller then me to start with, but also physically more pumped. I was kinda scrawny, but the winter without my farther had put some meat on my bones.

“It’s an honor to be able to work for you, lord” I bowed my head slightly before looking up and finding him much closer then before. He put a finger under my chin, inspecting my face from different angels.

“My men were right, you surely are a very beautiful man”

My breath hitched in my throat.

“I beg you pardon?”

“Oh don’t play dumb with me, boy... we both know what you are”

“So that’s why you brought me here... not for work”

“Well a special kind of work, if you catch my drift”

“....”

He let go of my chin, moving a step back. I couldn’t deny it, he was extremely hot, but the thought of not being able to sustain my family drove me mad.

“Don’t worry, you’re getting a job at the factory too, and I’ll pay you handsomely for your services.. I know how much your family needs the money”

A stone lifted from my heart. What had I done for mother Miranda to gift me with such fortune? A well paying job and a handsome boss, who could ask for more?

“When do I start?”

“Well, immediately. But first, I have a question” he asked walking closer to me, slowly pushing me against the wall behind us. One hand on the wall besides my head and the other on my waist.

“Do you find me attractive?” His head was inching closer to my neck. His smell was intoxicating, a mix of sweat, cologne and rusty metal. I couldn’t get enough of him.

“Yes, very much”

“Good, because I need you to fix something for me” he grabbed my wrist with the hand from my waist and guided it to his crotch. I cupped his growing bugle as he made a low growling noise, almost like a dog. I started to softly stroke it as he removed his head from my neck, setting his hat on a nearby table before going back to my neck, kissing and biting along the side. I softly grabbed his dick, sending a shockwave through his body. He pulled back, looking at me through his sunglasses, I could slightly see his eyes which were full of lust. He put both his hands on my waist before moving me to the table, turning me around and bending me over it.

“You like that? You dirty man” he huffed, grinding against my ass, a hand on the back of my neck and another under my shirt on the small of my back.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you hear me?” He gave my ass a hard slap, I cried out in pleasure and surprise, gripping the edge of the table.

I could hear his belt buckle being undone as I waited. Suddenly a voice over the loud speakers outside.

“All four lords, report to the castle immediately. Glory be to mother Miranda”

“You have to be fucking kidding me, what does that super sized bitch want now?” He huffed in annoyance buckling his belt again. I stood up, sitting on the table which I had just been bent over.

“I’ll be back very soon” he placed himself between my legs and gave me a passionate kiss, I of course, kissed back.

He put on his hat before storming out the door. I sighed and hung my head. Fuck...

Bonus:

“You’re late, Heisenberg” Alcina snapped as Karl stomped inside.

“I was in the middle of something”

“In the middle of what? You’re such a-“ she stopped dead in her tracks as Karl sat down, completely forgetting about his huge bulge.

“Oh.. I see, you’ve gotten a bit too happy for one of your experiments again”

Karls eyes widened as he swung his jacket over his lap, covering his crotch.

“Shut up bitch, and stop looking at my dick”

“ watch your mouth, child. Moreau, wanna bet on how long this one is gonna last until he kills him?”

Moreau giggled before getting hit in the back with a sheet of metal.

“Not this one, freak!.... this one is different”

“Mhmm, let’s see about that”

“I’ll rip your fucking over sized head off, you stupid bitch!” The hammer flew into Karls hand before Miranda interrupted.

“I’ll fucking show you... he’s the one”

[wheelsup]

the taming of the shrew | two

if i be waspish, best beware my sting

after some setbacks, penelope is willing to do anything to get you back on board. but has spencer already ruined things?

A/N: hello! im so sorry that this posting schedule is super inconsistent. the more i thought about this chapter, the less i liked the more technical aspects of it. but! i hope you enjoy to plot aspect of it nonetheless <3 thanks for reading!

category: fluff, slow burn series, spencer reid x fem!reader

wc: 4.4k

<- prev | next ->

Since that phone call with Penelope, she’d been over nearly every night for a week with plates of treats and onslaughts of apologies. Each time she came knocking, you told her there was no amount of persuasion that could change your mind. And yet the following night, she’d be there, a new type of pastry in hand and a new set of reasons why Spencer was worth the trouble.

First, she brought blueberry muffins and reasoned that deep below that prickly exterior, he really was everything she promised –– sweet and caring. But that must be deep, deep down. Like, The Lost City of Atlantis, deep down, because you didn’t expect it to surface any time soon. 

Then, she brought fudge brownies and explained that his behavior wasn’t personal –– he was getting snippy with everyone lately. And while you maintained that anybody would have a hard time getting along with Spencer, you were absolutely positive that it was now impossible for you. 

Quite frankly, it wasn’t just Spencer who was unwilling to play nice. You hated him. More than you’ve ever hated a stranger. 

You wished him a lifetime riddled with minor inconveniences that would drive him to the edge of insanity. You wanted him to miss all his trains by just a quarter of a minute; close enough so that he could see it leave the platform, knowing he almost made it on. You wanted him to constantly feel like he was about to sneeze. You wanted his socks to be perpetually wet, and if he should happen to put on a dry pair? You hoped he stepped in a puddle.

That was all you could think about as you laid out on your couch, munching on one of Penelope’s lemon bars while she paced around your apartment. She kept going on and on advertising Spencer to you. As annoying as it was, she was also saving you a ton on groceries that week. 

For the most part, you filtered her out. Not a single word that came out of her mouth was believable anymore, especially not when she was talking about Spencer. Despite what Penelope thought of him, you saw in him what she refused to accept. 

As her speech came to a close, she looked at you like she expected a response to dignify her prattling. 

“Give it a rest, Penelope. He’s a lost cause,” you laughed dryly. “He doesn’t need –– nor does he want –– anyone in his life.” At the very least, he definitely didn’t want you. 

“Yes, that’s the problem!” If you’d been listening to her, you would’ve heard her saying the same thing. “He doesn’t want to date!” 

Your head just about exploded when she said that. 

There had been countless, fruitless conversations about this, and all along she saw the gaping hole in her supposedly airtight plan?

“If he doesn’t want to DATE, then WHAT was the point of this?!” Your fingers pressed the bridge of your nose; you suddenly felt a headache coming on. Funny how it always happened around the time of day that Penelope came to visit.

Penelope stopped pacing. She stalked over to your couch, picked your legs up by your ankle, and moved them to make space for herself. You begrudgingly sat upright as she took her place beside you. 

“Because he’s not himself anymore. He’s not open like he used to be. Not to the people who care about him the most, and certainly not to the world.”  

Penelope toyed with the hem of her dress, distracting herself from her quivering lip before pressing on, “Spencer Reid has always wanted love. And it’s not right that he no longer believes he can have it.” 

You hadn’t seen Penelope look so desperate until now. It was concerning. Because what could make her look so hopeless? What could make Spencer so hopeless? 

“Penelope, I don’t know what’s wrong with your little friend, but… there’s a lot more bubbling inside him than you’re letting on.” 

She chewed up the insides of her cheeks, wincing to herself at your incredibly accurate claim. 

“You are hiding something, aren’t you?” You narrowed your eyes on her. You were no detective, or whatever exactly her team did, but she was just awful at concealing her thoughts.

“It’s not my story to tell,” she murmured. 

She could already feel herself about to give it away and doubled down her mental defenses against it. Focusing extra hard on keeping Spencer’s privacy intact. If only you knew her track record with secrets, you’d be proud of her for staying quiet this long.

“What isn’t your story?” 

“That his girlfriend died last year.” 

She spilled it before she even realized what she was saying. You’d just asked so nonchalantly that she forgot she was talking aloud. Penelope turned purple, terrified now that the whole truth was out there. 

You couldn’t even take satisfaction in the fact that your trick worked. You were just as mortified as Penelope, and if you weren’t already sitting down, you knew you’d need to. You assumed there was something deeper going on with him, you didn’t think it was a dead girlfriend. That was some Nicholas Sparks shit. 

“He pretends like he’s fine but I know he’s not. And if he found a way to move on, maybe he’d start feeling as okay as he claims to be,” she sniffled before snot could run from her nose, tears lining the rims of her eyes. “I know I should’ve given you the full picture, but I didn’t think you’d go for it if you knew…” 

You were too floored to process it all right away. This added a whole new layer of complicated to an already uneasy arrangement.

“Well, I know you’re right about one thing. I would’ve said no.” 

She gave you a set of pleading eyes, praying you’d see where she was coming from. 

“I know,” she whispered defeatedly. “But maybe... now that you know, you can understand why he acts out the way he does.”

“Penelope, I can’t just… make someone move on, or –– or get them to believe in love! Especially when it’s fake.”

How on Earth did she expect you to pull that off? Did that guy from A Walk to Remember move on when Mandy Moore died? You hadn’t seen the ending of the movie, but you assumed not. 

“I’m sorry, this is just… a lot bigger than the favor I thought it was ––”

“What if I could return it?” she cut in. The gears in her head started to turn, figuring ways to patch up the holes she made. 

“There’s nothing I need from you.” 

That couldn’t be true. Penelope looked around the room and it didn’t take her long to think of it.

“I can help you sell your art,” she tempted, gesturing to the scattered canvases. “You make all your income from this, right?” 

You didn’t want to give any fuel to her fire, but you nodded. “What if… what if you didn’t have to settle for local buyers? What if I told you that you could make way more money selling them to the whole world?”

You chortled at her idea. 

You were a local artist, through and through. Your art got put in local galleries and sold to local buyers. Nothing more, and that was fine with you. You realized it a long time ago that it was just a pipe dream to think you’d be more. 

“I’m serious! You could get a separate painting studio, and stop living in one? Huh?” She wrapped her hand around your shoulder, waving the other in the air, urging you to picture it with her. “Imagine this: a kitchen that’s separate from your living room. A bed, inside it’s own four walls, and more than twelve feet from where you cook your meals.”

Pushing aside her so blatantly insulting your apartment, if that were a possibility, you’d want nothing more. But it already sounded foolish and you hadn’t even heard how she planned to pull it off. 

“Penelope, I’m fine where I am. I make the money I need, and that’s... it’s fine.”

She gave you a pointed look. “You know, I can hack all search engine results to make sure you are what comes up first anytime someone enters the word ‘painting’, right?

An airy chuckle left your lips. Of course she could. You patted her thigh twice and stood up, prompting her to follow you to your door –– hopefully, so she can show herself to the other side of it. “Still no, Pen.” 

“Just take some time to think about it!” Her voice carried through the wood as you shut it on her.

*

There was this one bench in Kenilworth Park – the one that overlooks the crystal clear pond – that you’d always been able to rely on to fix any problem.

There was hidden magic in the bushes that sprawled out from the edges of the water, surrounded by spiky green blades of overgrown grass. A simplicity you loved in baby ducklings paddling into the tiny body of water, swimming close together so they don’t get lost in, what seems to them, a whole ocean. And clarity provided by the freshest air in the world, under the shade of the big oak trees on a late summer afternoon.

But at the present, none of that came close to being enough.

The artist’s block started off as a minor inconvenience, but without your permission, had stretched into weeks of steadily declining motivation. Each new idea felt even worse than the last, and you were acutely aware that there would come a point where you’d officially hit maximum capacity for how awful they could get.

Still, that didn’t seem to light a fire under you. You happily coexisted with the blank pages of your sketchbook. Staring down at them, laying open on your lap in their stark-white glory, you felt like you were playing a waiting game. If you stared long and hard enough, maybe they’d flinch. 

Unfortunately, you never got to find out who won, because your phone rang inside your pocket. As if the caller had interrupted an incredible genius at work (which couldn’t be farther from the truth), you hastily raised the phone to your ear, slamming your sketchbook shut.

“Hello?” Your voice wasn’t as kind as it could be for someone with nothing better to be doing. Two seconds later, you learned who was calling and came to regret it.

“Hi, This is Rebecca from District Arts, calling with a message from Andre ––”

“Oh, hi!” you tried to walk back your previous tone, straightening up in your seat and pitching your voice higher, “Yeah, I’ve been waiting to hear from him!” 

While Rebecca intimidated you, Andre happened to be your closest friend at the gallery. He worked closely with the artists to curate their collection and help them make sales. 

“Does he want to sort out what to set the opening bid prices at for my new pieces?” A handful of days ago, you sent him pictures of your new work and were waiting to hear his thoughts. You’d always been able to trust his opinion, and a vote of confidence from him might be just the thing to inspire you.

“Uhm…” There was a criminally long pause on the other side of the line, ended by Rebecca’s weary inhale. “Unfortunately, we’re calling to inform you that your pieces will not be included in the next rotation.”

For a minute, you weren’t sure what to make of what she said. You’d never heard those words before.

“What – what do you mean?” you laughed nervously. She probably misspoke. Perks of friendship aside, Andre always included you in sets. 

“Ugh, let me just get him…” her voice faded away as she put the phone down. 

That wasn’t exactly the reassuring statement you were looking for. In the time it took for the call to switch hands, your confusion finally melted in. And then quickly boiled into anger.

The District Arts gallery changed their entire collection every two months. The pieces shown accepted rolling bids throughout the full eight weeks, finally selling at the end of term to their highest offer. After that, the pieces got taken down, sent to happy new owners, and the entire gallery reset with entirely new works. 

So if you missed one rotation, that meant waiting two months to get back in.

“Andre, how am I just cut from the gallery!” you barked before he could get a word in. If he didn’t like your work, he could’ve just said so. 

“No one said that ––”

“Okay, let me rephrase.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, something you found yourself doing quite frequently lately, and took a deep breath in and out. It was seemingly just for show because it did absolutely nothing to calm you down. “Why wouldn’t you put me in the next set? I’m in all of them!”

“I know you are!” He sounded just as upset. “It’s just that… we give you the biggest space we have, because you always manage to fill it up. But this time… I’m not so sure you can.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed. “What makes you say that?” You asked that, but you knew.

“You’ve only finished three pieces… I’m worried how you’ll deliver seven more before we set up.”

“But… it’s four weeks away, I could do ––”

“And it took you four weeks to make what you have... I’m sorry. We couldn’t take that gamble.” 

He took your silence as an opportunity to turn off the work talk and speak, just friend to friend. 

“You know that I trust you and I’d hold that spot if I could. But, I also know what you’re going through right now, and… I don’t know, maybe letting yourself rest would be a good thing?” 

Your heart paused. By, “knowing what you’re going through”, you assumed he didn’t mean the little artist’s block.

“If you’re implying that I can’t do my job because of what happened with Cyrus –”

“I’m not, I’m not....” he backtracked as quickly as he could. “But take another look at the paintings you showed me and tell me if they feel like you.”

Even if he was right, you wanted to fight him. You wanted to cry. You wanted to beg that you didn’t need that big space; you were willing to downsize and just turn in the three that you had. Even if they got shoved into the corner where hardly anybody bothered to look. You just couldn’t afford to go two months without the income. 

But even with tears beading up, you realized that the gallery couldn’t afford it either. They needed to bring in money and you couldn’t do that for them this time. So they were right to go to someone who can.

“Right,” you sniffled, recollecting yourself so he can’t hear the shakiness in your voice. “I understand. It’s a big risk, like you said… It’s for the better.”

Andre tried to thank you for being understanding and spewed some sort of encouragement. The words flew over your head. You managed to toss in a few ‘mhmm’s and ‘sure’s at the right places to coast you along until the call finally ended. 

As soon as it went dead, you dropped your phone to the side and brought your hands to your face, rubbing them furiously over your cheeks. Your fingertips pressed hard into your eyelids, trying to forcibly reabsorb the tears threatening to spill. 

It almost worked, until you tried to breathe. 

A full sob escaped in that one gulp of air and you succumbed to it. But the loud crunching noise of some pedestrian walking over the falling leaves destroyed your sense of privacy, and you quickly wiped away all signs of your breakdown. The crunching stopped just short of your bench and on instinct you flicked your eyes up to see who the intruder was.

You did a double take. It was him. That fucking asshole.

He was standing there, looking dumber than you could even remember, with his hands in his coat pockets and a curious look on his face as he watched you cry. Tucking your sketchbook under your arm in haste, you made it a point to stand up with as much aggression as possible, rolling your eyes at him.

“Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” you barked. “No need to yell at me this time.”

You bristled past him, barely refraining yourself from checking his shoulder as payback. You wanted to believe you were better than him, but it did sound incredibly tempting. He stood there for a moment before turning on his heel and following you.

“Wait,” he groaned.

You didn’t listen, neither stopping nor slowing down.

“I said wait,” he huffed as he caught up to you, popping up at your side and jogging along as you kept going.

“Yeah, because I need to listen to a guy who yells at strangers in bookstores.” 

Now that you’d brought up the elephant in the room, your feet started moving even faster, working double time to get you away from him.

Damn the fact that he had those long legs. He didn’t even break a sweat trying to keep up. He was inescapable.

“Well, if you waited like I asked, you would’ve gotten an apology for the ––”

“Gee, thanks!” you yelled, stopping for only a second to turn to him and give him a mocking bow of your head, hands clasped together like you were praising at his altar. “I was waiting with bated breath for that! Thank you, kind sir, for now my life can go on.”

“Look, I’m actually sorry,” he snapped. Then in realizing the irony, softened his voice, “I’m sorry for being rude. I was having a bad day… not that that’s an excuse.”

You stared at him blankly, just watching his mouth moving quickly and waiting until it finally stopped. 

“Did you need something?” 

“Did you… did you not hear what I just said?!” 

“No, sorry,” you smiled, voice sweet like sugar. “My ears filter bullshit. Wanna try again?”

He scoffed, looking away like he couldn’t believe you before stepping even closer. “What’s your problem?”

“Me!? The fuck –– what the fuck is your problem?” You turned and stormed off again, seething at his audacity. Spencer just couldn’t relent his annoying tendencies and followed yet again.

“My problem is that I’m trying to be nice, and you’re not letting me!”

You got a good, hard laugh out of that. “Okay, first of all, having to apologize for yelling at me and pushing me isn’t exactly the best starting point for the journey of becoming a nice person.”

“Like I said, I was having a bad day.” 

Under your breath, you muttered, “Well, I hope this one’s even worse.”

“Why are you such a ––” He stopped himself from finishing that thought. Even in his worst mood, he wouldn’t cross that line. 

But he didn’t need to finish it, you knew exactly where he wanted to take it. The soles of your shoes scraped against the loose gravel as you came to a grinding halt, ears ringing.

“A what?” You turned to face him, a sarcastic smile on your face growing wider as he started to shrink more and more. You got up close in his face, daring him to say what he really wanted to. So he could reinforce your belief in exactly the type of person he was. “A what?” 

Spencer pursed his lips and shook his head, refusing to say it no matter how much you challenged him. If he wasn’t going to have the balls to say it, you decided to take it upon yourself.

“Tell you what, you keep thinking about it and get back to me the next time you’re in a cunty mood.” 

The word he was thinking of was probably not as bad, but you had a habit of escalating things. Even if you took this one too far, you didn’t care. 

Before you tried to take off again, Spencer’s hand flew to your elbow. He tugged you back, forcing you to turn around and face him. He didn’t know his own strength; without any resistance, you came stumbling into his chest, at risk of falling over if it weren’t for his tight grip on your arm.

It took you a beat to push him away with both your hands on his chest, vocalizing your disgust for being so close to him. 

“Can you stop trying to disagree with me for a second? I’m trying to tell you that you’re right, I was being a… well, you know…” He avoided the word. Apparently ‘cunt’ was where he drew the line. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it.” 

Your nostrils were still flared and blood hot as ever, but he made you pause. He looked sincere, if not a little tinged with guilt as well. You were suspicious of it.

“You saw me crying and felt bad, didn’t you?”

He laughed darkly. “Well, I saw you, yes. Did I feel bad? No.” 

“Oh, my God,” you growled, berating yourself for getting close to believing he might be capable of decency. 

“I’m joking! I’m joking.” He squeezed your elbow twice in earnest. “I did feel bad, but that’s not why I wanted to say it.”

“Okay.” You weren’t ready to give him a real smile, so you flattened your lips into a thin line and nodded once slowly, and left it at that. 

You still weren’t a fan, but the apology did dampen some of the resentment. Maybe he wasn’t the worst person alive. You’d settle for saying top ten most annoying, instead.

Minutes later, you came to the startling realization that he was still on the path, just two paces behind you. You flinched when you saw him out of the corner of your eye, not expecting him to still be here. 

“Uhm. Where are you… why are you still following me?” 

“I’m not. My car’s that way,” he gestured to the parking lot at the end of the long walkway. “I forgot my loaf for the ducks.” He didn’t mean to offer that information up, it just slipped out. He could practically see your smug expression coming before it even got there.

“You’re not supposed to feed bread to the ducks. It’s bad for them.”

“I don’t.” He didn’t care to explain this to you, but he couldn’t have you thinking he was any less competent than he really was. “It’s a special bread made from water and seeds that were ground into flour. It’s duck-safe.” 

“They make duck-safe bread?” Now that was something you’d never heard before. 

“No… I make duck-safe bread,” he said softly under his breath. 

You didn’t know how else you were supposed to react to that besides laughing wildly. 

“You make it?” He nodded like you were the crazy one here. As if he wasn’t the one spending his spare time grinding up seeds and baking loaves of bread for ducks, donning a frilly pink apron and oven mitts as he did so. At least that’s how you imagined it. “Why not just feed them the seeds?”

“Because, loose seeds will sink in the water and can potentially clog waterbeds and cause foreign bacteria growth in the pond.” 

“So you… hand-make the seeds into a little loaf of bread so it doesn't do that?”

He confirmed. You pondered silently for a moment, then absolutely had to ask, “You ever eaten the duck bread before?”

Spencer was caught off guard by that question. His cheeks deepened to a rosy color.

“Yeah, well, it was the house so…” he laughed nervously and stared at his sneakers. “It’s actually not too bad.”

You weren’t entirely surprised by that. You remembered what his grocery basket looked like, and given those same options, you probably would’ve tried the duck bread too. Still, you cracked the smallest of grins at knowing he makes bread for ducks. The one, sole redeeming fact you’ve learned about Spencer. 

You reached your car first, and Spencer stopped in front of it with you. 

“I’m actually sorry, you know,” he whispered once more, hand resting at the top of your car door as you opened it. He wasn’t talking about the incident at the bookstore.

“Yeah…” For a while you were so busy being angry at Spencer that you forgot about your own problems. 

He noticed your nose was still red around the edges, eyes still a little bleary. “Are you okay, by the way?” His voice was too soft, too genuine.

You shook your head no.

“Is there anything I can do?” You shook your head again. And then you had an awful thought.

You knew he was just offering to help just to say it, because that’s how people react when you say you’re not okay even if they don’t care. But there actually was something he could do for you… Something that Penelope could do.

“Uh, no but…” you fixed your hair and tucked it behind your ear, seamlessly switching to a flirtier voice. “If you still feel bad about the other day, you’re welcome to make it up to me.”

Spencer cocked his head to the side, unsure of how he could do that. 

“Hang out with me sometime.”

“H-hang out?” You could tell that it flustered him, even if he tried to play it off. He swallowed thickly, nose twitching and brows scrunched together.

“Relax, I really do just mean hang out.” You were lying through your teeth. He didn’t need to know that. 

As if he didn’t want to think about it for a second longer and just get out of this conversation as quickly as possible, he agreed without thinking it through. He didn’t even ask why an almost complete stranger would want to hang out with him. 

You stuck your hand out, expecting him to hand over his cell so you could put your contact into it. He rocked on the balls of his feet, watching as you input your contact and sent yourself a text on his phone.

“Hi, this is…” you read out your message as you typed, pausing at just the right place. “What’s your name by the way?”

“Oh-uh, I’m Spencer.” 

A devilish grin took over your face, hidden from his view while you were looking down at the screen. He was going to be easy to fool.

-

-

agh! im still not in love with how this chapter is turning out, but it came to a point where i just had to stop fiddling with it and just post it. any feedback or comments about this story is very much appreciated 💕

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[sweetberrysmooch]

HC: Call This The ‘Can This Man Cook’ Section

(….. I don’t think these men can cook 😔)

First post pog :D I wrote a majority of these super late at night, so please forgive and let me know of any mistakes you find <3 Also, it’s a little long lol

Characters: Dream, George, SapNap, Badboyhalo, Wilbur, Technoblade, Philza, Quackity, Fundy, Schlatt.

Warnings: None, except for a kinda risqué comment in Philza’s. Oh and I guess there’s mentions of eating meat in case someone wants the warning :3

Song Recommendation: I Love You So- The Walters

Hella fluffy! Hope you enjoy <3

From best to worst:

#1: BadBoyHalo-

Bad is the best at cooking on the server. He is the creme of the crop, absolute top one percent, king shit at cooking.

He can cook, bake, and temper chocolate perfectly, what more could you want?

His favorite to-go recipes are cheesy garlic bread and a special spicy chicken and rice recipe which he typically makes when the boys are over at his house for the night. When he’s with you he goes for something a little smoother, some mulled sweet berry cider with a smoked cod fillet, eaten under the light of candles while you quietly chat about life and your fellow friends. It’s always one of Bad’s most anticipated hangouts, and he’s very careful about planning when it comes to those days.

While he appreciates being complimented on his food or his skills, deep down he wants to have someone to cook and share his knowledge with so the cooking process becomes much richer. He’s cooked for so long and learned so much, but it means nothing if he can’t share it with another person. The moment you come to him and ask him for help on any kind of recipe, he’ll drop almost everything to help you.

Side note; he absolutely carried lunch and dinner for his fellow DTeam members. While Sapnap would mostly take over breakfast, Bad would be hounded by begging puppy looks from these adult men who couldn’t cook and kind of just sigh and get the ‘kiss the cook’ apron ready. It’s not like he hates it or anything, but the endearing factor kinda slips off after a few years of adult men groveling.

(Bad’s hands rest over yours, dwarfing them entirely as he helps you cut the pasta sheet straightly. “There you go!” He encourages, squeezing your hand gently and stepping away, moving back to dice the vegetables on the cutting board next to you. A comfortable silence falls, and with it comes something in Bad’s heart softening. The worries and exhaustion in his mind ease, and he slips into a contented routine of finely chopping and slicing. It’s been a while since he’s felt so calm. There’s nothing that can ruin this- 

The front door slams open. Footsteps walk in and approach the kitchen and you both hear it, 

“Baaaaaaaaad.” Bad cringes, taking a step back.

“Baaaaaaaaaaad, we’re hungry.” Sapnap. 

“Yeah Bad, feeeeeeeed uuuuuuus.” George. 

And then, from around the door frame, a white mask peeks in. Nobody says a word, but you can feel Bad deflate next to you like let go balloon. 

“It’s alright, big guy.” You laugh, grabbing his forearm and leaning up against him. His sad puppy eyes make you smile a little, and you try to reassure him. “We can hang out alone another time. Let’s keep working on the pasta.” He sighs, but still returns your smile. “Yeah, another time.”)

#2: Philza 

Sigh…. he can cook. Not quite as good as Bad can, but better than Quackity. A solid second place. It stems mainly from being so knowledgeable that he just knows and has tried so many different foods, but since he doesn't actually do much cooking, I'm making him a flaky second place.

Doesn’t mind cooking, but doesn’t love doing it either. He’s always focused on so many different things that he’ll forgo eating to keep working on what he’s doing. He mostly cooks for Techno and Ranboo or the few guests (you) they seem to receive. Makes great stew, and even better roasted chicken, is absolutely immaculate when it comes to cooking bird.

He didn’t teach Wilbur or Techno shit! I wish I could say it’s because he wanted to but just couldn’t, but he was literally like “hmm. Im a little busy now, maybe next year” every year!! But, this being said, if you ask him to make something with you or teach you how to cook a particular dish, he will agree to help you. Old age has really mellowed him out, and after certain events, he realizes he needs to stay a bit closer to those he cares about from now on.

He likes sweets well enough, and will always thank you for any gifts you make for him. Along with growing older, he’s had time to lose his pickiness he had in his youth. If he does end up cooking with you, he’ll prefer doing the harder recipes over easy ones. He will lose it laughing if it turns out bad, so don’t worry about any disappointment (his children make up enough of that ^^).

(“Now,” Phil starts, washing his hands quickly as you wait for him next to the cutting board. “Pufferfish needs to be prepared perfectly, or we will die when we eat it. But I don’t need to explain to you how a pufferfish works, now do I?” 

When you shake your head no, he comes up behind you, tarnished wings bound and hair pulled up in a pony tail. 

“The meat of a pufferfish is very delectable, and much better with a glass of wine.” He grins cheekily, “ If this works out well, which I’m sure it will, dinner will be delicious.” 

It falls quiet for a second, and as your hesitantly looking over the fish that may be your last, you gasp when you feel him press up against you back and rest his chin on your shoulder. “Maybe there’ll be other delicious things to eat as well,” He murmurs into you ear, before leaning back and busting out laughing. Your face feels stupidly hot. Dilfza quest activated.)

#3: Quackity-

Quackity:

Quackity can cook. I know!! I’d say he’s like the third best cooker on the list. And he’s not half bad at baking either.

He likes making up stupid bad recipes and trying them out with you, even if at the end of it the one of you up chucks your damned creations the hour after. Despite his reigning need for chaos though, he knows how to make a decent amount of recipes and strives for praise when he’s actually putting forward effort. He’ll arrange little dinner dates (“A handsome man and his very pretty friend, good food made by yours truly, and La Chona, what do you say, baby?”) and will sit there with a 🥺 look on his face until you tell him if you liked it or not.

He tries to act like he’s unaffected by your words, but even a small, “That was really good.” will make him turn red and giggle like a schoolgirl. He tries to play it off, but it’s easy to tell he loves the complements. Will also never tell you anything you make is bad. You are a deity descended upon  minecraft Earth and he is but your prettiest disciple who will uphold your honor and treat you like you should be treated!!!! But he’ll then promptly choose to help you with and guide you into cooking/baking better ^^; He loves you!

As for baking, he really likes making cakes because of how simple they can be. It helps calm him down when he can just slip into bake mode and follow a recipe and make something nice at the end of it. Speaking of, he also has a sweet tooth, but not quite as bad as Techno does. Any sweets or food you make for him is always eaten, and always held in high regard. Will try to entice you into feeding him 👀👀 so watch out.

(He’s doing it again. You try to avoid looking directly at the dopey lovesick smile Quackity has on his face at the moment, but as you lift the fork up, you get a better idea. 

You look at him (to which he seems to melt a little under your gaze), look at the fork, and then back to him, raising the piece of cake up to his lips. His expression turns flabbergasted and his blush deepens. 

He doesn’t seem to believe you for a second, until you nudge the cake close and flash him a smile. Then it’s like a switch has been flicked; he giggles, blushing, and eats the cake right off the fork. He’s gone back to smiling that silly smile again, this time even brighter, but it’s okay. You try to ignore the way your heart speeds up in your chest when he begs you for another piece.)

#4: Schlatt-

Another cooker~! He specializes with formal dinners more than anything else, and adores a good steak.

During his presidency, he didn’t cook very often. Quackity and you had to keep him fed through most of it, and the memory of watching you cook in his kitchen while he looked over work papers at his dining table leaves a mark on him, sealing a new crave for domesticity that he hadn’t ever wanted before.

Sometimes he would cook though. You, Quackity, and Tubbo would all gather around and eat together every once in a blue moon, when Schlatt was sober and calm. It feels tense at the table but also not in a way? Schlatt always seems to be chillest during dinner, a mix of the alcohol wearing off and the emphatic family feel that comes with Tubbo, Quackity, and you surrounding him.

He loves cake! It’s one of the few desserts he’ll eat, but you have to watch him closely or he’ll gorge himself of the treat. Indulge him and invite him to make a cake with you, and it will be one of the most interesting bakes of your life. How Schlatt got three eggs to stick to the ceiling is beyond you, but the look in his eyes tells you he’s completely fucking sober and hamming up his own cluelessness. You probably wouldn’t have even noticed if it weren’t for him hiding all the other eggs around your kitchen as well. How did he get one on the top of your door without it falling when you opened it? That’s between him and god.

Overall, a good 4th place on the list.

(“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Schlatt says, deadpanned, looking you right in the fucking eyes with an undisturbed egg sitting perfectly straight on his head. 

“Where are the eggs, Schlatt.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Schlatt.” 

“Yes.” 

The container you kept them in is completely empty on your kitchen counter, once full of eggs but now reduced to a desolate husk of its former glory. Speaking of former glories, your president turns around, arms crossed and stands there silently. 

You look around. Theres one in the door handle of in the pantry, another wedged between two slices of bread in your bread box, and- oh god. On the fucking ceiling. Three, stuck to the ceiling, unmovable. After a full minute of dead silence you manage a “What the fuck have you done?”, and Schlatt turns to look. 

“Oh hey. There they are.” Your mind turns into a rock, shatters, and crumbles into dust.)

#5: Dream-

Honestly if you’re looking for edible food that tastes range from ok to good Dream is your man. 5th place.

He knows a lot of ‘depression era’ type recipes just because he’s pretty homeless and his man hunts don’t allow him much time to hone his skills. Stuff like bread or mushroom stew comes easy to him after so many times of having to do it on the run. Bread is the only baking he won’t screw up.

Can cook meat well enough too, but doesn’t really do anything special to it (besides his sauces).

To elaborate: Over the unknown span of his life, he’s acquired these recipes for forgotten and questionable sauces that he’ll store in little jars and leave at your house for you to use. They’re odd, and the ingredients aren’t ever what you think might be edible, but they’re surprisingly tasty none the less. He likes to show you a new one every month or so to keep things fresh.

Pretty general about sweets, but has a severe love for chocolate, especially dark chocolate. Has never had one, but dreams about chocolate cake. It’s high on his bucket list and written another four times over.

One of his favorite things to do with you is bake, mainly because of how ruinous it always turns out. No matter your skill, Dream’s vibes decimates any luck the two of you will have while baking. It’s scientifically proven. You left the cupcakes in for a minute-JUST a minute over what they should’ve been and they came out rock solid. Dream tried to eat one anyway. Best part was watching him try to bite through the shell.)

(He thinks he’s over selling it, half-gnawing on the brown cupcake (it was supposed to be vanilla, he thought) and making stupid growls when his teeth barely break through the surface, but the feeling he gets when you start laughing hysterically next to him wipes away any negative thought he had and fills him with utter joy. 

It's very late into the night, and you’re both a little loopy, but all the while you still lean against him as you giggle, the spot tingling where your hand rests on his arm. 

His heart thumps crazily, before sinking. Oh god. He’s in love with you.)

#6: Technoblade-

Knows a lot, but very little. He can cook the meat perfectly fine, but there’s a difference between being cooked and tasting good. He doesn’t know how to season them. Salt is the bare minimum you get.

6th place ^^; sorry king.

He’s good with potatoes though. I like to think that the countless hours spent potato farming had to account for something. He likes having cheese and butter on them every once in a while, but for the most part just eats them salted like an animal. It’s practically a show to watch him eat a cooked potato in three bites without anything but salt on it.

Big man loves food though, even if he doesn’t eat like it. Steak and cooked fish are high on his list of foods, but only if it’s cooked by Philza. And eventually you fall into his “I trust to eat this from you” category as well, but he has a special place in his heart for Phil’s cooking. Rabbit stew is at the very top.

He also eats a lot, being 6’10 and 200 something pounds of muscle, gotta consume quite a bit to keep him moving.

As for the sweeter variety of food, he’s got a massive sweet tooth. The moment you make him an apple pie or honey candy or anything of the like, he’s immediately enamored with you. Sweet things are hard to come by on the smp, especially with how far out he lives, but it’s a secret weakness of his that is very easily exploitable.

(You’ll be the death of him, he thinks, watching you closely as you trudge your way through the freshly fallen snow towards his house. Your normal pack is lighter than it usually looks, and he worries that you may slip and hurt yourself on the ice before you make it to the door. But still, you keep walking until you're standing at his doorstep, fist raised to knock when he opens it for you. 

You look surprised for a second, and then a grin splits your face and his heart races. 

“I can’t stay for long,” you say, having spent at least 30 minutes to get there. “But I wanted to drop this off for you before you went out to hunt again.” 

Out of the bag, you pull another smaller leather bag and hand it to him gently. It rests heavy in his palm, and for a moment he’s sure it’s ender pearls that you’ve brought him. But still he opens it, and he’s immediately taken aback by the smooth golden candies you brought him. 

“They’re honey candies.” At this point you’re practically grinning. “I thought you might like some while I was making them last night.” 

He doesn’t have to see his own face to feel the deep blush setting in on his cheeks and ears. You…. you’re so…… sweet. You are very…. sweet, he admits to himself, and he is very not attached to you. Not at all.)

#7: Fundy and Sapnap tie.

Fundy- 

Has his old man's cluelessness but is a fast learner. He doesn’t have much time to expand his food repertoire so it’s pretty much the basic stuff that he’s eaten during the war or before that when he was younger.

He really likes cooking though, and will invite you to come cook with him for dinner or lunch if he wants to hang out. When they were together, Dream had given him an old dusty cookbook that had several recipes he hadn’t ever heard of before, so that’s where most of what he tries to make comes from. His favorite to date was a special mutton dish that he asked you to try with him on his last birthday. It was just the two of you, but he had never had so much fun before.

Doesn’t like eating fish however, there’s just some bad vibe he gets when he thinks about cooking one or catching one. (Desperately ignores the fish fucker. Desperately ignores the fish fucker. Despera-)

Loves sweet berries as treats, seeing as that’s the only sweet thing he grew up with. Not too big on other sweet flavors. Likes honey in his tea though.

7th place cooker, will get higher as he learns more dishes.

(He raises his wine high with a laugh, clinking your glass with it as you both giggle drunkenly. 

The lamb you had cooked together turned out amazing, juicy and tender and flavored with crimson fungus juice. The recipe was from an old cookbook he had, he faintly remembers telling you, hiding the fact that it was Dream’s cookbook that he was given after a particularly nasty argument. 

He doesn’t want to think about him, especially not while he’s with you. Especially not when it’s his birthday. 

So instead he ponders the trip through the nether he took with you to harvest some of the fungi, how the juice was tangy and slightly bitter, but how it had done wonders when basted onto the meat while frying. 

You had looked so happy when you two plated the dish, so proud of him, all in a way that Dream never was. 

Even now, as you tiredly smile at him from across the table, cheeks pink and eyes focused solely on the moment you were sharing, he feels at peace for once. This is what contentment felt like. Oh, how he loves you so.)

Sapnap-

Shame the shit cooker. Ok ok, he’s not as bad as some of the others on this list, but that’s just because he can make a half decent breakfast. It’s not much competition.

Bad has desperately tried to teach this boy some cooking besides eggs and toast, but the only things that seem to have stuck are mashed potatoes and grilled pork chops. Neither of which he even likes enough to make often.

He prefers fish to meat, and would eat any kind of cod you offered to him. Likes smoked salmon a lot, it’s something Bad made for him a lot when he was younger. He tries to recreate the dish, but comes up short and feels disheartened when it isn’t like Bad’s. He’d appreciate any time you took with him to learn how to make the dish, and it wholly sticks to his mind afterwards. He never forgets the experience, and treasures it very closely.

Likes not-sweet sweets. Not bitter per say, but just not very sweet. He likes chewy taffy in particular, but the old lady kind that lasts 60 years but gets hard in 6 minutes after being exposed to open air. Gotta be polite about it too, or he’ll end up embarrassed and pout for an hour.

(He’s eaten 6 of those fucking taffies since you sat down on the couch, completely straight-faced as the two of you of you listen to Dream and George talking. 

At this point you’re completely checked out of their conversation, solely focused on the taffy Sapnap keeps eating. Where does he even get those? How many does he have?? You’ve been friends with him long enough to have seen him pop a taffy every other second of the day. He seems to have a stash on him at all times tucked away, filled with paper-wrapped pastel covered sweets. 

“Want one?” Sapnap asks, holding out a light blue taffy with a little star drawn in yellow dye on the wrapper. 

“What?” Startled, you lean back a bit and realize you had been staring him down as he ate, and flush with how rude that probably seemed. 

“Want a taffy? I don’t mind sharing with you, cutie.” He winks and offers the taffy again. “....” You gaze at the taffy curiously. You’ve never seen him offer another person one of his precious taffies before. Hmm. “...Yes, thanks.” 

You take it delicately, unwrapping the wrapper and taking a bite of it experimentally. It’s very lightly sweet, soft and chewy and surprisingly pleasant. 

Sapnap watches you from the corner of his eye, softly smiling when he sees you eat the rest of it. Glad to see someone else has good tastes around here.)

#8. George-

Meager man makes a meager meal. I said what I said!!! This flatbread boy knows diddly squat, and the only things he can cook successfully are bread and mushroom soup. Which he will make. And that’s all he’ll make. Any food that isn’t that is cooked by either Bad or Dream, and he’s still picky about it.

He’ll make you the soup and bread ladies and gents. I’m not saying they’ll taste great together, but he will definitely make them for you. Anything else he’s pretty critical about, and he doesn’t care much for treats or dessert. He does occasionally like dark chocolate though, which he and Dream will beg Bad to make for them. Soon he begs you to make it for him, and then you have to go ask Bad how he makes it so George won’t complain about how it tastes different from Bads. It’s a weird situation. You make a lot of chocolate. Dream and George linger at your house for weeks on end until you get fed up and shoo them away with a broom.

To his credit, even though he can’t cook much, he’s really proud of his mushroom stew. Any time you let him cook, his go-to is his mushroom stew. He likes to feed you and know that you’re not hungry somewhere, and to top it off he gets to show you his prized dish; not Bad’s or Dream’s stew, but his. He’s cute or whateva…

(George places the bowl down in front you, stepping back and turning to grab his own, before sitting down next to you. He immediately begins to eat, and you give him a half glance as you bring the soup up to smell it. 

It… doesn’t smell that bad, actually. Not burnt, at least. You spoon some of the soup into your mouth. 

Despite all you’ve seen of George’s cooking, this is pretty well made. It’s nice and warm, and the flavors are rich and the mushrooms soft. You choose to ignore the small smile of his face next to you, and keep eating your soup quietly together.)

#9: Wilbur

Wilbur can’t cook for shit. Literally nothing. This man knows apples grow from trees and that animals are made of meat and that’s it.

You think Wilbur made any of his food when he was president or exiled or ever? Not a chance. He ate anything given to him, Tubbo and Tommy absolutely brought this man all the food they could find so he wouldn’t get eat straight trash or starve throughout the presidency. Techno slid him bare cooked potatoes in Pogtopia and he thought “oh this slaps….. this is the pinnacle of food”

Which I know, not really sexy. But! This means that the moment you feed him something a step up from a bare cooked potato he is in food heaven. He especially loves saucier kinds of foods with lots of flavor and spice to them, it’s just so fucking good. Food becomes his kryptonite after you feed this silly man.

With sweets, however, he isn’t that much of a fan. He does like those small lemon creme crackers, and you and da boys are the only ppl he’ll share them with.

(You hear him before you see him. The familiar clambering at your window draws your attention away from the pork you were dicing, and one look over your shoulder shows a disheveled but grinning Wilbur. 

“I hope I’m not too late for dinner.” He jokes, brushing off his pants before approaching you to press a kiss to your temple. Soon after that you hear another set of clambering, and two pairs of stomps reveals one Tommy and one Tubbo respectively. 

“What’s for dinner tonight, mate?” 

“Hope you don’t mind if we join in!” 

You sigh, turning back to hide your smile before they can see it.)

// Hope you enjoyed! I might write a pt2 of this later with some other ppl in it lol we’ll see :3

[taviewritesstuff]

UPDATE - October 24, 2022

Hey folks! Here I am again with another update! It won’t be quite as long as the last one, but it’s still chock full of information. So, buckle up, buttercups!

Firstly, I’m happy to report that I made it through my first week of school in tact! I’ve learned from my mistakes and have been breaking down my homework into manageable chunks, which has made it much, MUCH easier to not only get it done, but to also get some creative things done. I have two papers coming up this week, and a lot of reading on my end, so I’ll probably be busy again, not coming on unless I have enough time. I will be staying in touch with my good friends, though, so I’m not gonna COMPLETELY radio silent.

The real enemy last week was work! My schedule was all over the place, and it left me feeling pretty darn stressed out. Thankfully, I didn’t let that get in the way of my homework, but man, when I say I practically ran out the door Saturday… 😩 Good news is, I’ll be taking Friday and Saturday off so I can have some much needed rest and time to myself to take care of homework. Oh, and my parents are coming to visit, so it’ll be fun to catch up with them!

Well, that’s all that I can think of regarding life updates. Next up, I have a few cool creative ideas that I’d like to share with you all!

For starters, Blazin’ Trails is back on the horizon! I’ve been working on the final chapter for the last couple of weeks, and I’m super excited to post it! I went from having no idea where to take the story, to now wanting to spend every moment I’m not working on homework on this. There are cool cameos from certain characters, one of my favorite OCs gets a bigger role, and things will be set up to go into the next phase, which is Blazin’ Trails Redux! Ideally, I’d love to have this story’s final chapter out on November 20th, which will mark the story’s sixth anniversary, but since I’ll be working on FLaG Remastered (more on that below) for NaNoWriMo, I can’t guarantee that. If I get that out earlier, that’d be awesome as heck. But just know that I haven’t forgotten about my current longest running story.

On the topic of NaNoWriMo, I have decided to go forward with my plans to make FLaG my project. After debating on the title for ages, I finally decided to come up with a name, which is “For Love and Glory Relance”. The Relance part comes from the French “la relance”, which means “revival”. Out of all the words I could find, I figured that would fit best—not to mention be roll off the tongue easier than the French translation of Remastered! I still have a few ideas with where I would love to go with this remastered project, and similar to BT, I would love to post this story (once it’s been cleaned up, of course) on the original’s fifth anniversary. What said ideas will be, though, will be hidden until the story is officially posted!

Recently, I’ve been in a huge mood for Punkin’ Puss and Mushmouse content, including a little doodle that I’ve posted on my main blog. I’ve been rereading “Temporary Truce”, and I’m thinking that some time next year, once I finish up Big City Tabby, I want to get started on the sequel of this story, titled “A Hillcat’s Requiem”, as soon as possible! I MAY or may not put up a few rewrites of certain scenes from Temporary Truce just to give you an idea of what to expect from the sequel…not to mention to share my improvement as a writer!

I’m planning on updating my accounts soon (I’ve had the same format for the last year, lol!) to make them look better. Obviously not now, but just expect a few changes starting this week!

That’s all I have to share with you all for now! See you all soon!

[fullmoonremus]

Nothing Changed But Everything’s Different | Sirius Black x Reader

Warning: slowburn angst, mentions of slight violence, alcohol, no happy ending

Time/Era: Marauder Era, Ages 18-21

Word Count: 10.1k

Summary: Sirius found someone who made him believe in love at first sight. 

Request: Okay! :) Well in that case can I have an ANGST Sirius x Reader? Where they’ve been together for a few years (it’s post-hogwarts only a couple years) but the relationship is starting to sour and crumble. Sirius being Sirius is flirting with other girls and just neglecting y/n. They argue a lot and everyone can see that it’s deteriorating. It gets to a point where he just flat doesn’t acknowledge her even though they live together, long and ANGSTY pls 🥺 :) U decide the ending! :) Ty, much love!

A/N: I worked really, really hard on this so I hope you enjoy :) Let me know what you think :)

part 2 | masterlist | marauders era playlist | read on ao3

“She’s absolutely gorgeous, Prongs!” A young Sirius Black twirled around the dorm room and fell onto his bed with a dreamy sigh. “She’s witty and smart mouthed, but she’s so sweet and nice at the same time. She listens to the Weird Sisters and Queen and she’s a total badass.” 

“Y/N L/N?” James scoffs, bending over a sketch he was working on. It appeared to be an intricate building of some sort, complete with four stories and geometric windows. 

“Yes, Y/N L/N! I think it’s love at first sight, Prongsy. I’m going to marry that girl one day.” Sirius laid one of his ankles against the post of his bed. The leather of his boot made a loud squeaking noise, and James cringed.

“Have you ever even talked to Y/N L/N?” James smiled smugly and smudged ink across the side of his hand. 

“Have you ever had an actual conversation with Lily Evans?” Sirius countered, making James sputter. James looked diagonally towards Sirius and moved his head so their corresponding bedposts weren’t in the way. 

“I have! This morning, for example! We talked about the morning toast for a full 3 minutes!” His glasses began to fog as his cheeks warm. Sirius laughed heartily and threw the pillow that was under his head square at James’ face. With a deep ‘oof,’ James looks back towards Sirius, glasses now crooked. “Fine, don’t believe me! You’re just angry Evans is finally starting to fall for my charm.” 

“Ah yes, my bad. I forgot sweat and body odor was irresistible to girls.” 

“Lily isn’t a girl.” James reached his slender fingers to level his glasses. “She’s a woman.” 

Sirius was sent into hysterics; chest heaving, loud laughter, tearful, hysterics. James rolled his eyes and threw the pillow back at Sirius. But, in all of its glory, the cushion hit Sirius’ bedpost and sent feathers flying through the air. Sirius busts out in even more laughter, falling to the floor with a big, dramatic thud. 

“What’s going on here?” Remus asks, entering the room and setting his bag onto his bed. “Why is Pads on the floor?” 

“JP assaulted me!” 

“I DID NOT YOU THREW FIRST!!!” 

Remus chuckled under his breath and unbuckled his bag to retrieve his homework. “And what exactly caused this alleged assault? Did Sirius call you Prancer again?” 

A bark sounding laugh came from Sirius and James scowled. 

“No, we were just talking about his newfound obsession with Y/N L/N and he took an unwarranted dig at mine and Lily’s relationship.” 

Remus snorted and set his work on his desk. “What relationship?” Sirius let out another “HA” and pulled himself back onto his mattress. “And isn’t Y/N L/N the one who called your hair greasy, Pads?” 

“Well, yes, but I like a woman with a bit of attitude,” Sirius sighed dreamily. His left pointer finger, ring and all, came to twirl a chunk of his hair. “I think I want an autumn wedding.” 

“You’re not getting married to her, mate. You don’t even know her.” James came to Remus’ bed and started poking around his bag. “Are you putting on the scar ointment Pomfrey gave you still, Moons? Hey! Stop picking at that one, you’re going to make it worse!” He slapped Remus’ hand away from his face and Remus rolled his eyes. 

“Who are you? My mother?” 

“I am too going to marry her, James! Just watch me!” 

Peter opened the door solemnly, a grumpy look plastered on his face. James turns nervously towards him before slapping him on the back. 

“What happened, Pete? I thought you were supposed to be on a date?” 

“I was, but she stood me up. Again.” Peter responds, making a beeline for the window seat. Conveniently, it was located next to his bed, so he haphazardly tossed his school bag onto the mattress. He grabs hold of one of the pillows before hugging it to his chest and burying his head into it. Sirius and James share a look before Sirius speaks up. 

“Awh, you’ll get ‘em next time. Don’t worry too much about it. It’s her loss, really.” 

“No, it was my loss. It was Abagail Cavin, mate. It was definitely my loss.” Peter’s voice was muffled as he muttered into the soft fabric. 

“Who’s Abagail Cavin?” Sirius asks, looking towards Remus for an answer. He shrugs. 

“I think that’s the ginger girl who always hangs around Y/N L/N? A year or two below us,” James thought aloud. “She’s friends with Lily too, I’ve seen them studying together.” 

Remus snorts. “Of course you have.” 

“I don’t know if I’m sad or angry.” The mousy boy admits, throwing the pillow in his lap at the wall. It hit one of Sirius’ Queen posters, making the frame fall to the floor with a loud crash. James is quick to swoop in and redirect Peter’s attention in fear of him escalating. 

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, there’s no need to get mad at Abagail. Um, how about we go get some sweets from the kitchens, yeah? Maybe that’ll make you feel better.” 

Peter tightened his jaw, staring at the now shattered frame on the ground. After a moment of silence from all the boys, Peter nodded and the pair exited the room. 

~

“Y/N L/N,” Sirius spoke in his signature flirty voice. He tried to match her walking pace, but she seemed to be in a rush. 

“Sirius Black, what can I do for you?” Y/N answered, her school uniform skirt swaying as she walked. She was on her way to meet Abagail in the library so the two could study together, and she was already 5 minutes late. 

“I was wondering if you would -excuse me, sorry- if you would like to go to the next Quidditch match with me?” Y/N seemed to swerve in and out of the crowded hallway like a car in heavy traffic. “Supposed to be a good game, you know.” 

“Me? Go with you? While you cheer your little boyfriend on? Thanks for offering, but I have to decline.” 

“Come on, you always go anyway! It could be fun!” Sirius finally matched Y/N’s fast gait. “And maybe we could grab some hot butterbeer or cider after.” 

Y/N sighed, suddenly stopping at the entrance of the library. She faced Sirius boldly and grabbed his upper arms with her hands. 

“Listen, it’s really flattering that you want me to go with you, and I have to admit, you’re super cute. But, you don’t exactly have the best track record with girls and I don’t want to be just a checkmark on your list of girls to shag.” 

While any person would be wounded by Y/N’s blunt assumptions, Sirius grins. “That’s where you’re wrong, love. I don’t really have a track record with girls, unless you count the week I dated Marlene McKinnon the October of our 2nd year. It’s our 7th year and I’ve had one kind-of girlfriend.”

Sirius watched as Y/N’s facial expression changed. Taking this as an invitation to keep going, he rubs his hands together and continues. “And if you’re talking about shagging, I’ve shagged maybe three girls who were not on some kind of to-fuck list, thank you very much.” Sirius suddenly leans in so he could whisper. “I’m just flirty. And based on the look on your face, the flirting is working.” 

“Y/N!” Abagail’s voice made Y/N drop her hands and Sirius smirk. “What are you doing?” 

“Oh, we’re just chit chatting,” Sirius answers for Y/N. “But, I do have a question for you, Ab.” 

Abagail’s face scrunched in response. “Don’t call me that. What’s your question?” 

“Why’d you stand up my mate Peter?” Sirius now stood with his feet shoulders width apart, arms crossed over his chest and his hair pulled to one side. Y/N couldn’t help but admire how well Sirius’ uniform pants fit. 

“What do you mean, stand him up? We talked about hanging out, but we never made actual plans. Honestly, I don’t really think I want to make any official plans. Some of the things he says are kinda scary.” Y/N looks sympathetically towards her friend.

“I told you to just ignore him, babes.” 

“I know, I know. I really think he’s a nice guy deep down though.” 

Sirius looked puzzled, “What harmless, little Peter Pettigrew says scares you?” 

Abagail nods frantically, “He came and sat with Lily and me when we were studying in the library last week. He went on a rant about how he can’t wait to become an Auror just to see,” The girl lifted her fingers to so air quotes. “How far he can take it.” 

“That doesn’t sound like Peter at all,” Sirius’ eyebrows knit in confusion. 

“Well, it was. And Y/N and I have a lot of studying to do. So, if you’ll excuse us.” Abagail gently tugged at Y/N’s arm. 

“Wait! So, is it a date, Y/N?” Sirius called after the girls. Y/N turned over her shoulder and beamed. 

“Common room before the match. I don’t like to be kept waiting, Black!”

~

“You don’t like to be kept waiting… but you think it’s perfectly okay to leave me all alone in the common room? That’s not very kind, Y/N.” Sirius watched Y/N descend the stairs to the girls dormitory. He was wearing his Gryffindor sweater and ripped black jeans, his hair tied messily in a bun. A long, striped scarf dangled lazily on his shoulders and draped down his frame to his mid thigh. 

“I said before the match and if I’m not mistaken, it’s before the match.” Y/N tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Are those for me?” 

Sirius quickly stood, holding out a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers. “Heh, yeah. I thought it was fitting because it’s the middle of October and we’re going to a Quidditch match. The leaves are orange and there’s so many colors and the sunflowers have the same kind of color pallet-” 

“Sirius, they’re lovely. Thank you.” Y/N cut off the blabbering boy. She took the flowers happily and observed their pretty petals. Sirius was right; the rich golden color matched the fallen leaves that littered the Hogwarts grounds. Y/N held up a waiting finger to Sirius so she could go leave her flowers in her dorm. 

“It’s pretty cold out, love, do you want to grab a jacket?” Sirius said when she returned. 

“It’s all in the name of fashion, my dear,” Y/N pulls a piece of hair behind her ear and nods towards the portrait hole. “Shall we?” 

Y/N sat in the crowd with her legs crossed; her shoulders were slumped forwards and her hands stayed sandwiched in between her thighs. Gryffindor was absolutely destroying Ravenclaw with the impressive score of 80-10. 

“The snitch is right by Potter’s head!” Y/N screeched, bumping Sirius’ shoulder with her own. 

“Where?! I don’t see it!” 

“To the right! Meadowes needs to catch it before Lockhart sees it!” Y/N shivers in spite of herself, bringing her hands to her mouth in order to warm them. Sirius snickers and loops his scarf around her shoulders. 

“Hopefully that doesn’t ruin your outfit, love.” Sirius winks and turns back to the game. 

The scarf was soft and toasty, and smelt exactly like Sirius. The satisfying mix of leather, butterbeer, pine and smoke engulfed her senses and made her dizzy. Y/N wrapped it around her arms and snuggled deeper into the soft knit. 

“Meadowes spots the snitch!” Remus announces over the intercom. The entire statum seemed to erupt into chaos; cheers and boos echoing off of every surface within 500 feet. 

Y/N had always had a soft spot for Remus; they weren’t friends, but something about him was so warm and inviting. He in no way seemed like the type to announce a Quidditch match, but it appears that when you’re friends with James Potter long enough, anything could happen. 

Dorcas zooms past the Gryffindor student section in her pursuit for the snitch. The entire group, Lily and Marlene especially, scream out loud words of encouragement. Y/N could have sworn she could see a faint smile appear across Dorcas’ features. 

“Potter scores! 10 points to Gryffindor! 90-10! Ravenclaw could still win if Lockhart catches the snitch!” 

“Come on, come on,” Sirius mumbles under his breath. No matter how much he liked to deny it, Sirius got really into Quidditch. He couldn’t play for shit, but he knew the mechanics of the game like the back of his hand. 

“Meadowes catches the snitch! Gryffindor wins!!” The entire crowd goes ballistic. Kids hug, and some kiss, before storming the field to congratulate their team. James stays on his broom, doing small loops in the air in the hopes of impressing a certain redhead. 

Sirius wraps his strong arms around his date, pulling her to her feet and lifting her into the air. “We won, Y/N! We won!!” 

Y/N snakes her arms around Sirius in return, a similar happiness bubbling in her chest. 

“What’d ya say about grabbing some hot cider from the kitchens to celebrate?” Sirius questions, noticing they’re the last students at their seats. 

Y/N nods, a soft smile gracing her face. “Yes, please. I’m fucking freezing.” 

~

“It would be easier if you just levitated the boxes in, love.” Y/N watched as Sirius struggled to carry boxes into the living room of their new flat. She giggled, admiring her boyfriend’s flexed biceps and strong hands. The prominent veins in his hands and forearms were bulging, making the manual labor a show for his very happy girlfriend. 

“I feel like that’s bad luck,” Sirius explained, placing the cardboard onto the floor. “I want to do this right. If I don’t we could be cursed.” 

“Whatever you say, babe. But, just so you know, that box goes into the kitchen.” With a flirty wink and smile, Y/N walked into their bedroom to unpack some of their boxes. 

Their new flat wasn’t overly exciting; it was a one bedroom, one bath flat above a small bakery in the center of London. It was a tiny space, as you’d expect two barely-twenty-year-olds to own, but it would soon be their home. Y/N was just excited the flat had a kitchenette and a small living space. 

The best part, in Y/N’s opinion at least, was the fact that the smell of freshly baked bread filled their flat at the beginning of each day. The elderly bakery owners, Jullian and Caspar, had given the young couple a good price on the flat. According to them, they were waiting for the perfect couple to rent from them. What that meant, Y/N didn’t know, but it made her feel special all the same. 

Y/N looked out of their window to the hustle and bustle on the sidewalk below. The shop was a small, hole in the wall bakery called Dream Puffs, that was oddly popular for its location. And Y/N was quick to understand why. Almost everything they made, especially the sour dough bread and cream puffs, were to die for. Jillian had presented Sirius and her a large loaf of the bread and a dozen cream puffs as a welcome present, most of which had been eaten already. Y/N wished she had known of Dream Puffs and the wonderful owners before, but she supposed she still had a lot to discover in London. 

The one downside was the only way to get into their apartment was by going through the bakery. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but when you’re in a rush or having a bad day, having to face random people isn’t the most ideal situation. Jullian and Caspar were nice enough to close the bakery early for the couple’s move in. 

“I thought you were supposed to be unpacking?” Sirius poked his head into their bedroom with sweat dripping down his brow. 

“Oh right, sorry,” Y/N lazily flicked her wand and their clothing sprang to life. 

“Bad luck, Y/N!” He entered the room and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, laid his chin on her shoulder and looked out the window. The busy streets and buildings were muted by the glass, which made Y/N feel as if they were watching ants in an ant farm. 

“I doubt we’ll get bad luck from levitating a few shirts, darling,” Y/N brought one of his hands to her mouth, gently kissing his knuckles before returning it to her waist. “I can’t believe this place is ours,” 

“Well, technically it’s Jillian’s and Caspars, but yes.” Sirius chuckles directly into Y/N’s ear and kisses her shoulder. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“Are you asking me to marry you?” 

“Yes and no. Not now, obviously, but eventually. We’re going to be together forever anyway, so why should we rush?” 

Y/N sighed happily, feeling very loved. 

~

“Do you think Abagail will ever talk to me again?” Peter asked, laying his head against the armrest of the couch. “I heard she's working at the book shop in Diagon Alley.” 

Y/N snorted, laying her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder and enjoying the sound of the record playing in the corner of the room. Sirius and Y/N were hosting a dinner party for their friends in celebration of James getting accepted into the Auror academy. The nine of them -Sirius, Y/N, James, Lily, Peter, Remus, Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary- were all piled in Sirius and Y/N’s small living room, tipsy and full of warm food. 

“That happened almost two years ago, Pete. Let it go,” Y/N hummed, Sirius’ gentle hand rubbing her back and lulling her to sleep. She could feel the vibrations of Sirius’ laughter through his leather jacket. 

“Yeah, so? I’m not allowed to like someone that long?” Peter’s voice was harsher than he anticipated, making Sirius send a glare his way. 

“She means stop moping around and pining after a girl who doesn’t want you. There’s a world of opportunity and thousands of girls just waiting to date you if you open your eyes to it.” Sirius’ tone was barely lighter than Peter’s. 

“Well I don’t want thousands of girls, Padfoot. I want Abagail. Not everyone can hit it on their first try.” 

“Hit it on their first try?” Y/N was now wide awake. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“I mean,” Peter sat up, looking Y/N straight in the eyes. “You fucked Sirius on the first date.” 

“Woah, woah, woah, alright that’s enough. Wormy, Pads, Y/N, let’s all just take a deep breath and calm down for a moment.” James was quick on his feet to defuse the potentially harmful situation. He knew how Peter could get, and he didn’t want to see it escalate to that point. 

“Did you just slut shame me for having sex with my own boyfriend? Do you even have the authority to do that, Mr. Unused-Condom?” Y/N was now standing with James, starting to walk towards Peter. Peter stumbled to his feet and stared into Y/N’s eyes. 

“He wasn’t your boyfriend then, Miss Drop-My-Panties-for-a-Knut.” 

Sirius was quick to act, anger boiling inside of him. His knuckles balled into a fist and he threw a nasty punch square into Peter’s jaw. “No one insults my girl, Peter. I thought you knew better than that.” Sirius’ voice was like nothing Y/N had ever heard; it was cold and icy, yet fiery hot and full of hell-bending anger. 

Peter looked up and slugged Sirius right in the nose, making it gush blood. Remus grabs Sirius’ arms and binds them behind his back, trusting James to do the same to Peter. 

Y/N shrieked, having never seen Sirius or Peter get physical with anyone, let alone each other. Marlene grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the boys. 

“What have we talked about, you two?” James demanded, the vein on his neck bulging. 

“I’m not going to sit around and let him harass my girlfriend, JP! He’s a fucking asshole and he knows it!” Sirius struggled against his binds, but Remus was much stronger than him. 

“I’m not the one dating a slut!” 

“Get the fuck out of my flat!” Sirius screams making the room shake. Peter wiggles from James’ grip and grabs his wand before disapperating out of the room. 

Remus releases Sirius and he stomps out of the flat and down the stairs, most likely to go smoke a cigarette. James quickly follows after a glance towards Lily. 

“What did James mean when he said ‘what have we talked about,’ Remus?” Y/N asks, her soft voice a stark contrast from Sirius’ shouting. Remus runs a big hand down his face and plops onto the couch. 

“I wasn’t supposed to let you girls know,” He scoffs, shaking his head. “Sirius and Peter have been at each other’s throats for the past few years. Recently, it started getting physical. James always tries to defuse the situation, but it doesn’t work a ton.” Remus meets Y/N’s gaze and smiles sadly. “That boy would do absolutely anything for you, I hope you know that.” 

~

Sirius laid in bed with his arms wound tightly around Y/N’s waist. It was near 5 am and the light was just barely peeking through the window of their bedroom. The morning bread must have just been put in the oven, as the smell of fresh bread was slowly starting to overtake the flat. A long sliver of silver light slashed against the wall before fading delicately into the white paint. Sirius sighed contently and looked down at his girl. 

Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly agape; Sirius observed how Y/N’s eyes moved under her eyelids while wondering what she was dreaming about. He hoped she dreamt of him, as his dreams were constantly riddled with her. Every aspect of her danced around his dreams: her lovely smile, her laugh, her scent, her gait, and everything that made Y/N Y/N. Sirius’ own lips parted a miniscule amount as he brought the back of his fingers to brush her cheek. He couldn’t help but notice how soft her skin was under his touch. She was so peaceful in this moment, and if she was to be disturbed, the world would crack. 

But all good things come to an end, and Y/N opened her eyes. Her features were riddled with the grogginess of sleep as she batted her eyes to focus her vision. 

“Darling? Is everything alright?” Her voice was honey in his ears. 

“Perfect, my love. Go back to sleep.” 

“What time is it?” Y/N began to wiggle from his strong grip, but Sirius tightened his hold on her waist. 

The man shot a spare glance at the old coo-coo clock that hung in the corner. “Quarter to five” 

“Then may I ask why you’re awake?” 

Sirius sighed, pressing an opened mouth kiss on her forehead. “Couldn’t sleep, the nightmares are still awry.” 

“What was it this time? Your mom?” Y/N was now wide awake and propped up onto her elbow. 

“No, the last Order mission, actually,” Sirius gently brushed a clump of hair out of her eyes. “But it’s okay, I’m alright. I have you here with me.” 

Y/N’s eyebrows scrunched and her mouth pierced. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No, my darling. I just want to lay here with my beautiful girl in my arms.” 

~ 

“I’ve never been to this bar before,” Y/N giggles as Sirius opens the door to the small building. The outside’s appearance was rather unappealing; cracked, exposed brick that has moss growing out of it, a leaky gutter system, a splintering wooden door and a faded open sign. Y/N looked up towards the LED sign that spelled out the bar’s name. Silver Sickle Bar and Eatery illuminated in the wet pavement, but multiple letters were unlit, making it read Silver Ickle and Eat. 

“Me either, one of my clients works here and said she’d give me free drinks.” Sirius winked before following Y/N inside. 

The place was small and drafty, but oddly cozy. It had the same exposed brick as the outside, but this time, they were bright red and covered in picture frames.  A few wooden tables were scattered across the floor opposite the bar, and various older men sat with beers in their hands. 

“Oh, Sirius! My love, you came!” A very angelic girl from behind bar squeals, quickly exciting the bar and throwing her arms around Sirius. Her hurried speed made Y/N step away from the pair to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Sirius chuckles heartily, wrapping his arms around her small frame, seeming to forget Y/N was there. 

“Vanessa! Nice to see you again,” He exhaled. A sinking feeling settled in the bottom of Y/N’s stomach. “How is your tattoo healing?” 

Vanessa pulls her shirt down to show Sirius the skin in between her breasts. On her skin sat a magical tattoo of a Hongorian Horntail dragon, which looked towards Sirius and blew a big breath of fire his way. The art was gorgeous, very obviously Sirius’ work, which only made Y/N’s stomach sink further into her feet. The red, lacy, v neck bra Vanessa was wearing brought out the ink in the tattoo perfectly, and the shape of the cut displayed not only her breasts, but the dragon beautifully. 

Y/N knew that many of Sirius’ clients were girls; she wasn’t stupid. He was a newly licensed tattoo artist at the biggest magical tattoo parlor in all of London. Not to mention, Sirius was an incredibly talented artist, which meant his appointment list was extremely difficult to get on. The charming attitude and good looks only added to the appeal of his artistry. 

“Who’s this?” Vanessa turned her gaze from Sirius’ to look directly at Y/N. Her long, black hair fell over her shoulder like a waterfall and her porcelain skin glowed under the dim lighting. 

“Oh! Right,” Sirius stuttered, shooting a grin in Y/N’s direction. “This is my gorgeous girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N this is Vanessa, I did her dragon tattoo last week.” 

Y/N forced herself to send a polite smile towards the girl who was just all over her boyfriend. Vanessa sent an equally fake smile and began to walk back to the bar. 

“And what can I get started for you, handsome?” She giggled, standing in front of the large wall of liquor. Y/N felt as if she was back at Hogwarts with all the girls throwing themselves at Sirius. 

“Old fashioned,” Sirius responded, taking place on one of the wooden stools. “And for the lady, tequila on the rocks with lime.” 

Vanessa sends Y/N an icy look before giggling sweetly. “Coming right up.” 

Y/N sends a worried glance towards Sirius, but he just responds by squeezing her thigh and kissing her temple. 

“So, do you have any tattoos? Since you’re so good at your job, I would assume you do, yes?” Vanessa asks, pouring Sirius’s drink and sliding it towards him. 

“Quite a few,” He catches the glass before it flies off the bar. “Most of them are covered by my shirt though.” 

It was true, Sirius’ torso and shoulders were littered with tattoos: A large lion across his right shoulder onto his bicep, stag antlers across his shoulder blades, a moon on the lower left side of his stomach, rat paw marks under the moon, and constellations riddling his collarbones. 

The bartender tilts her head to the side cheekily. “Can I see them?” 

Sirius chuckles in a very happy, flattered way. “I don’t think that’s quite necessary here,” 

“But I can already see this one…” Vanessa reached her arm across the bar and traced the bottom of the lion’s mane with her long, slender fingers. The tattoo seemed to move with her movements. “Can’t I see the rest?” 

Y/N coughs, slapping her hand against the bar. The vibration of Y/N’s sudden movement caused Sirius’ drink to wobble inside the glass. “I think I ordered a tequila not a random chick flirting with my boyfriend.” 

“Of course, how foolish of me.” Vanessa sent a scowl Y/N’s way and turned her back to fetch the bottle of alcohol. Sirius matched Vanessa’s expression. 

Once the flirt finished making Y/N’s drink, she slid it over to her. Y/N took a sip, only to find it was awfully made and very watered down. 

“Sirius, babe, I have a headache, can we go home?” 

“You didn’t have a headache a minute ago?” Sirius raises an eyebrow. 

“I know, I just feel a migraine coming on. I really need to take my migraine potion before it gets bad. Please?” 

Sirius sighs and nods, throwing an arm around her shoulders and kissing her temple. “Of course, babygirl.” 

The pair stand from their stools but Vanessa stops them. “That’ll be 2 galleons for the tequila.”

“You said you’d give me free drinks?” Sirius placed a comforting hand on Y/N’s lower back, rubbing small circles over her shirt. 

“Yeah, for you. The tequila wasn’t for you.” 

“Yeah, fine, whatever.” Sirius reached into his pocket and pulled out two galleons, slamming them onto the bar. 

“Can I bet on seeing you again?” A loud giggle comes from her mouth as the couple exited the building. “Maybe you can show me your tattoos.” 

~

“I don’t know, Lily! She was all over him and he didn’t stop it.” Y/N bit into an apple and traced the Potters’ tablecloth. It was a month after Sirius and Y/N had visited The Silver Sickle, and Y/N couldn’t keep her anxieties to herself. 

“Have you tried talking to him about it?” Lily responded, kneading a big glob of pie crust at the counter. Potter Cottage was much larger than Sirius and Y/N’s flat above Dream Puffs. Earlier that month, Lily had announced she was pregnant, so James decided it was time to upgrade from their small flat to a house fit to raise a family. 

“Yes, but each time I try to bring her up he gets defensive and assures me that it was nothing, that he was trying to get free drinks.” 

Lily stared down at her dough intensely before grabbing her rolling pin. “Well, I wouldn’t let him get away with it. Maybe try to ask him again tonight? Just sit down and have a real, hearts on the table conversation about your feelings and whatnot. It’s important to do that.” 

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He’s been staying at work late this entire week. Apparently, one of his clients is getting a full back tattoo and it’s taking multiple sessions to finish. This is his biggest job to date, I don’t want to ruin it for him.” 

“How late is late?” The mom-to-be laid the pie crust into her pan and began to trim the excess off of the edges. 

“Nine, sometimes ten. He comes home exhausted.” 

“Hm, okay. I’d still try to speak with him if you can. How’s your work going? St. Mungos treating you well?” 

“Oh, yeah, definitely. My supervisor said that I’m one of the best beginning level healers he’s seen since Pomfrey worked in my ward,” Y/N took another bite of her apple. “I might get transferred to the branch in France for a week coming up, though. There was a big gas explosion and they have over 200 burn victims. My supervisor said it would be a good experience for me.” 

“Oh, I read about that in The Prophet! Those poor people,” Lily filled the crust with apple pie filling. “I’m sure they need all the help they can get.” 

“Oh, I know. I haven’t learned much about burn solvents yet, so it’ll be interesting to learn on the job.” 

“Are you going this week? What a shame, it’s your birthday on Saturday.” 

“Oh, no, the earliest I would be leaving is a fortnight from now. I’m kind of a last resort since I don’t have much experience or training yet.” Y/N stood and threw her apple core into the bin. “How’s JP doing at the Academy? He’s in his second year by now, right?” 

“Oh, he’s doing lovely. The Order is grateful for his efforts and have been sending him on more missions than before.” Lily sighs. “It’s rather nerve wracking, isn't it? You’re lucky Sirius doesn’t get called on many.” 

Y/N laughed a bit uncomfortably. “Yeah, I suppose they prefer actual Aurors to go on the calls. But when he does go, those are the worst nights. I can’t imagine having to go through that on a daily basis.” 

“It’s really hard,” Lily’s voice cracks and she begins to cry. “I’m sorry, it’s the hormones.” 

“Don’t apologize, Lils. I know how scary it can be. At least he's with Wormtail most of the time, yeah? They’re at the academy together and all.” 

Lily takes a deep breath to control her crying. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Thank god for Wormy.” 

~

“Hello there, pretty lady. I heard there’s a 21st birthday party to be thrown?” James said happily as Y/N opened the door of the flat. Lily and Remus tailed him ever so slightly, all three wearing large grins and holding brightly wrapped packages. 

“Birthday party? You guys don’t-” 

James waved his hand dismissively. “We’re already here, so you’re kind of stuck with us. Peter should be here eventually.” The three push their way into the living room. 

“The nice elderly woman downstairs asked me to bring you this,” Remus held out a cupcake with bright red frosting. Y/N took it happily and walked to the kitchen to set it on the counter. 

“Thank you, Moony. But, really, you guys didn’t have to. Sirius isn’t even here.” Y/N felt self conscious around her friends. She was wearing an old tee shirt from her early teens, a beloved Scooby-Doo tee with a rip in the left armpit, and black yoga pants. It was safe to say Y/N was more than ready to spend her birthday alone. 

“What do you mean, not here?” Remus was standing in the corner of the living room, flipping through Sirius and Y/N’s record collection. They had so many at this point that the couple was unsure which record belonged to who. 

“I don’t know, he left early this morning saying he got called into work. Something about an angry customer.” Y/N felt small under the group’s gaze. “I wasn’t really paying attention, I was half asleep.” 

Y/N watched as Lily and James shared a look. “I didn’t think the shop was open on Saturdays, but I guess they are.” Y/N’s shoulders lowered visibly, making Lily backtrack. “It’s the pregnancy brain, Y/N. I’ve been mixing things up for the past week and a half.” 

“Right, right. Of course. Um, how’s that going, by the way?” She crossed her arms across her stomach uncomfortably. 

“Oh, it’s going wonderful! We actually have something to give you, if that’s okay.” 

“Wait!” James cut in. “We should wait for Wormy to get here!” 

Lily hit his chest with the back of her hand. “Oh, come off it. You know how late he is to everything! Let’s do it now.” The couple led Y/N to the couch and sat on either side of her, both wearing matching shit-eating grins. Remus remained leaning against the wall, ready to flip the record when the time came. James placed a medium-sized purple box on her lap. 

Y/N carefully undid the wrapping paper, prompting James to let out a loud groan. 

“Any day now, woman!” 

Y/N giggled. “Hey! It’s my birthday! Be nice to me!” 

“I am being nice to you, Y/N! I gave you a present, didn’t I?” 

Y/N bumped her shoulder with his and reached into the box. Her fingertips met with the soft fabric of a tee shirt. Upon pulling the garment out completely, she observed that the words World’s Best Godmother was printed across the front. Immediately, Y/N dropped the shirt and covered her mouth with her hand. 

“Is that a yes?” Lily asked, her eyes tearing again. 

“Yes! Oh my god!” Y/N’s own tears trailed down her cheeks as she hugged both tightly. “Me? Godmother?” 

“I can’t think of anyone more worthy,” Remus remarked as he watched the heartwarming scene unfold in front of him. Y/N was so overwhelmed with joy that she had almost forgotten that Sirius was absent. Almost. 

The party went along swimmingly from there on out; Peter had arrived shortly after Y/N unboxed Remus’ gift, a new cauldron and potion ingredients, and another gift from the Potters, a pair of gorgeous black combat boots. The mousey-boy shuffled over to Y/N and handed her a small gift bag. 

“Oh? Thanks, Pete.” Y/N awkwardly pulled out the contents of the bag. “Oh, good, a gift card to Silver Sickle Bar and Eatery.” She tried to sound thankful towards the man in front of her, but the disdain was still evident in her voice. 

“Sirius said it was his favorite bar, so I thought you’d like it. Maybe we can grab some lunch there, obviously my treat,” He lazily gestures to the card in her hand. “We haven’t really hung out for a while. I figured it would be nice. If you don’t like it I can get you something diff-” 

Y/N cut him off with a hug, “Thank you, Peter, this was really thoughtful. Would next week work?” 

“Wednesday?” He wraps his arms around Y/N’s frame for a moment before letting go. 

“Wednesday works perfectly.” 

The four continued to hang out well into the night; laughing, chatting, drinking, listening to music, and playing board games. As the party dragged on, Y/N couldn’t help but grow worried about Sirius’ whereabouts. Her worries were harshly pushed aside, though, when Lily suggested they play poker. 

“Ugh, I fold.” Peter slams his cards down onto the coffee table and laid back onto the carpet in defeat. Y/N smirked at Remus, her only opponent, and gestured for him to show her his cards. 

“Straight, beat that,” Remus says confidently. James and Peter “oooh” childishly and looked towards Y/N. It was very apparent that all of them, besides Lily, were very buzzed. 

Y/N smirked and shook her head, “You play a hard bargain, Lupin. So good that I applaud you. But,” Y/N laid her hand on the table: four of a kind. “You’re just not good enough.” 

The room laughs as Y/N pulls the large pile of galleons, sickles, knuts and Lily’s wedding ring towards her. Y/N slips it onto her own ring finger and holds her hand as if to admire it. 

“Oh, Lily, dear, don’t you just adore my new ring? Look at how it glistens in the light!” 

The redhead rolls her eyes and snatches it off of Y/N’s finger. “I’ll just be taking that,” She puts it back on. 

“It will forever be known to be my legal property, Evans. Don’t forget it!” 

“Does that mean I’m married to both of you now?” James smiles a dopey grin and looks back and forth between the two women. Y/N pretends to gag. 

“On second thought, I surrender my rights to your ring.” 

The group continued their laughter until the front door of the flat swung open. A very drunk Sirius Black stumbled in the door, dumbfounded as to why all of his friends were in his house. 

“Why are you guys here?” Sirius slurred, pulling up the shoulder of his leather jacket. He bumped the record player in the process, making Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac skip. 

“It’s Y/N’s birthday, Sirius,” Remus responded, his soft voice contrasting to his previously upbeat tone. Sirius slouched against the wall and slid down it until he hit the floor. 

“Y/N’s birthday...Y/N’s birthday...Oh! Y/N’s birthday! Was that today?” 

James was quick to jump into action. Propelling himself off of the couch, he took Sirius into his arms and brought him to a standing position. Sirius, of course, whined the entire way up, claiming that the floor wanted him to sit there. James responded with a small hum before peeling Sirius’ jacket off of his body and throwing it onto the kitchen counter. As Y/N watched, she couldn’t help but notice a bright pink smear on Sirius’ neck. 

“Yes, it’s today, you big goof. Where have you been?” 

Sirius went into a big flurry of words as James brought him towards the bedroom. Y/N thought she heard ‘And you should have seen her!’ amidst all the jumbled words, but she pied that off as her anxious imagination running awry. Lily’s hand found her back and she rubbed soothing circles on Y/N’s shoulder blades. 

“He forgot,” Y/N said to no one in particular. “I can’t believe he actually forgot.” 

“I’m sure he didn’t forget,” Lily soothed Y/N, rubbing circles into her shoulder blades. “He probably got carried away at happy hour, you know how he gets.” 

“Happy hour on Y/N’s birthday though?” Peter shook his head. Something about his tone didn’t sit well with Y/N. Lily shot a glare his way. 

The party did not last much longer; Remus said he had an interview with Dumbledore about a TA position at Hogwarts, Lily was tired, and Peter said that he was going on a mission tomorrow and needed rest. Y/N bid her friends farewell with large hugs and thank you’s. 

It’s safe to say that Y/N slept on the couch that night. 

~

Y/N awoke to sunlight in her eyes and a crick in her neck. The living room window wasn’t guarded with curtains, so even at the early hour of 4:30 AM, the room was illuminated with soft oranges, reds, and pinks. Y/N sat up and reached her hands above her head to stretch her back. She looks towards the bedroom door, listening for the soft snores of her boyfriend. Her neck screamed in agony, but she still stood and padded over to open the door. 

Y/N twisted the doorknob with care, trying to be as silent as humanly possible. She needed to see Sirius, not have a conversation with him. Alas, in all his glory, Sirius lied on his stomach with his mouth hung open and drool oozing onto the pillow. The girl admired how he looked as he slept; the sharp jaw, the perfect skin, the messy hair, the peaceful look gracing his features. He still wore his skinny jeans from the day previous, but at some point during the night, he discarded his white dress shirt. Y/N’s gaze darted around the floor until it landed on the crumpled fabric. 

Y/N glanced back at Sirius, admiring the artwork that filled his back. She remembered the day he got it; James cried when he first saw the gorgeous antlers. The low light highlighted the dark brown ink and seemed to make his skin appear airbrushed. Y/N smiled in spite of herself. 

Closing the door softly, Y/N walks into their small kitchen to prepare some tea in order to calm her nerves. The apartment was rather messy from the ‘party’ and Y/N had to dig through endless dirty dishes to find a mug clean enough to use. Y/N finally found one, a lavender mug that Marlene had given her for her 17th birthday, and set it on the counter while she filled the kettle. 

The kitchen wasn’t as dirty as Y/N previously thought. Sure, the sink was overflowing with dishes, but the kitchen itself was rather clean. And besides Sirius’ leather jacket, the counter was clear. The floor, though, was slightly sticky. Y/N sighs and flicks her wand; almost silently, the dishes start cleaning themselves. 

Y/N reaches for Sirius’ jacket, only to have a squishy substance fall onto her feet. She jumps back in surprise and disgust of the weird texture. But, the real panic sets in when she notices a big red spot on not only the floor but the leather jacket. Upon further investigation, Y/N realizes it’s the frosting from the cupcake Remus had given her. Sirius was very protective of this jacket and if he saw this, Y/N would be a dead man. So, she did the only reasonable thing she could think of: scrub the material with a wet paper towel. 

Thankfully, the frosting came off easily and didn’t stain the material. The only real obstacle was the sweet scent of the frosting lingering on the garment. Sirius had an insane sense of smell, so if he picked up even the slightest trail of sugar, Y/N would be busted. She delicately lifted the material to her nose. 

The musky scent of Sirius filled her nose as normal; leather, smoke, cologne, and spearmint. Y/N grinned at the familiar scent until she noticed a strong rose perfume almost ingrained into the leather. Y/N’s perfume smelled of vanilla. 

~

Y/N held her breath as she opened the door of the Silver Sickle, she was in no mood to see Vanessa again. All the same, Y/N put effort into her appearance just in case. She let out her breath when she noticed an old man behind the bar and Peter sitting in the corner. 

“Hey,” Y/N said breathlessly as she pulled out one of the wooden chairs and sat down. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel a little nervous meeting Peter alone; the two seemed to rekindle their friendship after he and Sirius fought. He promised that he was just drunk and not thinking, and Y/N not wanting to cause childish conflict within their friend group, had accepted his apology. 

“Hey!” He squeaked. “I didn’t know if you wanted to day drink or not, so I just ordered you a water to start off with.” 

Y/N laughed awkwardly. “Thanks, Wormy.” She took a long sip from her straw, trying to slow her nervous heart. “So, uh, how’s the academy? James said you are taking more and more missions with the order.” 

Peter nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, it’s great! Being an Auror is really fun, you really get to show people who’s boss, ya know?” 

“Um, I guess?” 

“I think they’re gonna kick me out, though. I haven’t done the best job at catching who I’m pursuing.” Peter raises his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side. 

“Oh? Why not?” Y/N glanced over the menu, only half listening to what her companion was saying. 

“I just like to play with them a ‘lil, like a cat and mouse. Except this time, I’m not the mouse.” 

Y/N looks at a delicious looking chicken sandwich on the menu and hums in response. 

“So, how are you and Sirius doing? It seemed pretty rough last week.” Peter takes a chunk of ice from his drink and starts chewing it. “If you want to talk about it, I guess.” 

This brings Y/N out of her sandwich-filled thoughts. “I don’t know, to be quite honest. We haven’t spoken much and I barely see him. He leaves early in the morning...comes home late at night…” Peter nods as if he was a therapist listening to a client. “I don’t want to assume the worst but he’s making it rather difficult.” 

“I wasn’t going to tell you this, because it isn’t really my business, but…” He comps down on the ice cube. “I was coming home from a mission a few nights ago and I saw him with a girl. I’m not quite sure what they were doing but it sure as hell didn’t look platonic.” 

Y/N felt her entire world shatter into her lap. “What?” 

“Yeah, I don’t know. She was really short with long black hair and a skimpy cocktail dress. They were walking into that club off of Coventry Street. I almost beat the fuck out of him right then and there, but there were bouncers.” 

Y/N bit her trembling lip and folded her hands in her lap. Rifling through her purse, she slammed the gift card down and stood. 

“Thanks for the lunch date, Peter, but I don’t feel well. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” 

“Was it something I said?!” Peter yelled at Y/N’s retreating back as she left the bar. 

~

“Are you going somewhere?” Sirius asked, gesturing to Y/N’s packed suitcases by the door. 

“Yup, I’m going to France for a week to aid burn victims,” Y/N finished brushing her teeth before packing her toothbrush. “Didn’t think you’d care.” 

“Well, I do. You could have told me.” He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms. 

“I would have if I actually saw you.” Y/N wasn’t in the mood to argue; she had about an hour before she had to leave, and she planned on using that time to relax with a cup of herbal tea. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? You see me plenty.” 

“Yeah, when you’re sleeping or showering. There’s not exactly time to chat when you leave early in the morning and come home well past midnight.” Y/N walked into the kitchen and cut a slice of bread. “Oh, by the way, Caspar brought up some sourdough, if you actually want any.” 

“Don’t change the subject like you always do, Y/N. I work hard to support us, you know that.” 

“I work hard too. And I get home before 11 every night. I’m not exactly sure how being a healer gets you home earlier than a tattoo artist, but whatever.” Y/N buttered her now toasted sourdough. 

“Sometimes a piece takes a long time, that’s not my fault! I’ve been getting big jobs recently! You should be happy for me!” 

Y/N let out a harsh laugh as she poured water into the kettle. “Do you really think I’m that fucking stupid, Sirius? Really?” 

“What do you mean? I think you’re rather smart.” Sirius followed Y/N into the kitchen and was leaning against the counter. 

“Yeah? Then why have you been lying to me for the past, I don’t know, two months?” 

“You can’t keep accusing me of things, Y/N. It’s not fucking fair!” Sirius stared holes into Y/N’s back. “For fucks sake! Look at me when I talk to you!” 

Y/N whipped around, her hair fanning around her face as she spun. “You know what’s not fucking fair? Letting a girl feel you upright in front of me. Lying about going into work. Forgetting my birthday and coming home from who knows where drunk as fuck with lipstick smeared all over your neck. Coming home drenched in another girl’s perfume. Taking your fucking side chick to a strip bar while I’m sat at home wondering if you’re fucking dead because we’re in the middle of a fucking war! You don’t know the first thing about fucking unfair!” 

“You’re not going to France, Y/N.” His jaw was clenched and his eyes held nothing but fire. The tone of his voice was like nothing she had ever heard before, at least not directed at her. He usually reserved it for people who yelled nasty things at her from the street, or when someone bad mouthed James. It felt foreign to hear him use it with her. Maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did. “You’re not fucking going, and that’s final.” 

“What are you? My fucking mother? I’m going because I’m actually doing something good for the world, unlike your cheating ass.” Y/N pushed her way past her boyfriend and towards her luggage. 

“Don’t walk away from me!” Sirius followed her strides. He stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. “Y/N, darling, we need to talk about this-” His tone was notably softer than before as if he was trying to glue together shards of glass. 

“Talk about what, Sirius?! How you cheated on me and won’t even deny it? How you betrayed me in the worst way fucking possible? I’m not going to let you manipulate me into putting my career on the line to work out some issue you caused.” 

“What, so now I’m not important? You’re a fucking hypocrite!” 

“And how exactly am I a hypocrite, Sirius? You treat me like shit and whine that I’m done putting up with it? Gonna go cry to James about how you are so upset I wouldn’t hear you out after you cheat on me? Well, go the fuck ahead because James actually has a healthy relationship with a baby on the way. He won’t sympathize with you.” Y/N grabbed the handle of her suitcase and lifted her wand. “I’ll be back in a week and once we’ve had some time to cool off, we’ll talk about this like adults. I’ll see you soon.” 

Just as Y/N apperated out of the room, the kettle whistled and Sirius noticed Y/N left her half-eaten toast on the counter. 

~

It was near two in the morning when Y/N returned home from France the following week. The home was cold, dark, and vacant, and the entire appearance of the small flat had changed. In a week, Sirius had managed to completely trash the house. Even the smell of freshly baked goods was replaced with the sour smell of firewhisky and sex. 

Y/N ventured into the kitchen first, where she observed the large stack of dishes in the sink. Everything from to-go packages to their fine china (normal glass plates from the thrift) were stacked as high as the eye can see. Some were starting to mold and produce the most horrid smell. The stove housed the kettle where Y/N had left it, but this time it was cold and empty. Another pot that contained crusty spaghetti sat next to the kettle, and Y/N cringed at the thought of scrapping it out. She moved to the counter where her toast, now stale, sat. Y/N picked it up between two fingers and threw it into the bin. 

She carried on into the living room next. The couch cushions were tossed about the room and the small fur throw was draped across the back of the couch. The record player in the corner still held the Fleetwood Mac record Moony had chosen on her birthday as if it were a time capsule; Y/N couldn't help but reminisce about how happy she was with her friends that evening. Maybe that proved that she could be happy without Sirius in her life, or maybe it served as a constant reminder that he was woven into every aspect of it. 

Again, the room was covered with food wrappers and alcohol bottles. Y/N feared the liquid that remained in the bottles would leak and stain the carpet, so before moving on to the bedroom, she set each one upright. 

The bedroom was what Y/N feared the most; without her presence in the home, Sirius could have been intimate with an infinite amount of girls in her own bed. She shivered at the thought but pushed on and reached towards the icy doorknob. 

The room was the cleanest out of the entire flat, just various clothes scattered around the floor and a messy bed. Y/N wanted nothing more but to curl up under her warm covers and press her face into the chest of the man she loved most, but that was an impossible task. He didn’t love her anymore and that was something she had to deal with, she just wished she had savored the last time he held her. 

As Y/N explored further into the room, her feet found an article of clothing that neither Sirius nor Y/N owned. Bending at the hips to pick it up, Y/N held a red, lacy v neck bra in between her fingertips. Y/N fingered the material with teary eyes. Another step forward and her feet came into contact with the matching bottoms. Y/N laid the set out neatly on the bed and wallowed; it must have looked stunning on her. 

Y/N walked to the desk, where an ink well was left open and a half-written letter laid face up on the surface. She capped the ink with a wet chuckle. 

“You need to cap your ink, Sirius. If you don’t it’ll dry out. I won’t be there forever to do it for you.” Y/N said aloud, wiping her running nose. She picked up the letter against her better judgment and began to read. 

Prongs,

I know you’re mad at me, but please just hear me out. Vanessa is gorgeous, mate. She’s sweet and nice, but at the same time she's so witty and smart-mouthed. She even listens to Queen and the Weird Sisters!

She made me believe in love at first sight, JP. 

I’m going to marry her one day, mark my words!

The ink began to run as Y/N read and cried, making small blotches of black contrast against the stark white paper. Y/N placed it onto the table and gripped the edge to steady herself. Never in her 21 years on earth had she ever felt such pain, such sorrow. Her pains were usually cushioned by Sirius’ arms and sweet slurred language in the middle of the night, or by her friends’ loud cackles. But this time, this time was different; she was alone, completely and utterly alone. 

Y/N looked to the wall in order to ground herself; a small sliver of silver moonlight slashed against the wall, illuminating the otherwise dark room. Y/N traced the line with her eyes until she landed on the wooden coo-coo clock. 

The clock was one of Sirius’ most prized possessions; it was a gift from his Uncle Alphard that he received when he ran away from the Black family.  Alphard was one of the few Sirius still kept in contact with, and he was a big role model to Sirius when he grew up. Debatably, Alphard was the one who taught Sirius how to be a man. 

The present seemed lame on the surface, but that clock was one of Sirius’ favorite things when he was a child. Sirius had told stories of the long afternoons he would spend in front of the clock, waiting for the small, yellow bird to pop out of the top while Walburga and Orion fought in the background. Y/N respected Alphard with all of her being, but she wanted nothing more than to smash that godforsaken clock. She wanted to destroy everything that made Sirius happy, she wanted him to be under the same pain he was putting her through.

Y/N knew what she had to do at that very moment: she had to get out of London and move far, far away. So far away that no one would ever find her. So, she grabbed the extra suitcases in the flat and began to pack her things. 

Starting at the record corner, she picked every single one of her belongings and shoved them into her suitcase. Y/N had to shrink a few of her belongings, such as the couch, in order to fit, but in a little less than an hour, every hint of Y/N was packed away in three large suitcases. 

Y/N gave one last look at the apartment before apparating to Paris, where she knew she could start a better, more meaningful life. Maybe, she could even find a fresh bakery to supply her with warm loaves of sourdough bread. 

When Sirius returned to the flat the following morning, the only remaining aspects of Y/N were a striped scarf and two galleons folded neatly on the bed next to Vanessa’s lingerie. 

[eberles]

Memories

Jamie Oleksiak

Request: Hello!:) Can you write something (super) sad with Jamie Oleksiak? I don’t have a specific idea in my mind so I’d like to leave it up to you completely if that’s okay 💕

A/N: officially the longest thing i’ve ever written coming in at 5300 words!! based this fic off of The Vow, so it’s sad but not like sad sad. i hope you enjoy it i feel like this is one of my best works so hopefully you guys think so too! 🥰 italics = flashback

Warnings: angst, sad, mentions of car accidents & hospitals

Every Friday you and Jamie had a date night, it was the one night a week the two of you could wind down with each other and you never missed it unless Jamie was on a roadie. This Friday you guys went to your favorite restaurant and saw a movie after, the movie was some stupid romantic comedy and in all it’s cheesy glory it had the two of you laughing all the way to the car after the movie. It was a fairly hot night in Dallas, both you and Jamie wearing shorts and light t-shirts, walking back to the car hand in hand at around 11 PM. 

“AC, I need the AC.” you groaned, buckling your seatbelt, not even in the car for a whole minute before complaining about the horrible heat. 

“Don’t pressure her, it takes a few minutes.” Jamie spoke, softly patting the steering wheel as if to give the car some comfort after your harsh tone towards “her.” You laughed, putting up your hands in surrender as Jamie buckled his seatbelt and began pulling out of the parking lot and onto the main road. It was fairly quiet tonight in Dallas not many cars on the road, so you and Jamie decided to have some fun and sing along to the radio at full blast not having a care in the world. Pulling up to a stop sign, you looked around before turning the music down and undoing your seatbelt, smirking at your husband in the driver's seat. 

“You know, i’ve always wanted to get knocked up in a car.” you whispered as seductively as possible, Jamie smiling at you, his eyes going wide once he realized, and you took no time to lean over the center console and press your lips against his. Tonight was supposed to be like every other Friday night, dinner, movie, sex, it sounded simple, but it was truthfully all you wanted and everything you looked forward to during the week. Tonight ended differently than your other Friday night dates, only a few seconds into kissing and there wasn’t anything to stop what happened next. You never predicted for your once blissfully in love moment to be completely ruined within a matter of seconds. You couldn’t have predicted the drunk driver speeding up behind you and shoving your car full force through the intersection. Yet it happened. With your seatbelt undone the collision caused you to go right through the front windshield, your head suffering most of the damages as you landed on the hood unconscious.

Everyone’s life was based on moments and how one decision you make could impact you for the rest of your life, no matter how big or small. Jamie felt that meeting you was one of life’s greatest joys, he knew the second he saw you that you were meant to be, that you were his one true love. Jamie used the one opportunity he was given to talk to you and he knew it would change his life forever. 

-4 years ago-

Jamie couldn’t stop staring at the back of your head from a few feet away from you in line at his favorite coffee shop. You paid the barista and said “thank you” before turning around with your drink and walking passed Jamie, stopping at the door briefly to turn and look back at him realizing that he was already looking at you with a small smirk. You gave him a smile and continued out the door and made it the short distance to where your car was parked. 

“Ugh!” you groaned, turning around almost bumping into Jamie who came walking up behind you with a small bag in his hand. 

“You forgot your bagel.” Jamie smiled, handing you the bag feeling giddy inside that he was given the opportunity to talk to you. 

“Thank you, you’d think I would remember my breakfast after spending 20 minutes waiting for it.” you laughed, looking up at his broad figure just now noticing how tall he really is. 

“Yea, it’s what i’m here for.” Jamie said, mentally face palming at the corny line he just gave you. 

“Um, i’m Y/N.” you reached your hand out to him, and noticed a small blush on his face. 

“Jamie.” he shook your hand, both of you laughing awkwardly and pulling away from each other.

“Well, thank you for this.” you said, opening your car door handle.

“You know, um, I noticed that we have the same coffee order.” Jamie mumbled, and you turned back to look at him, a smirk showing on your face. 

“Is that so?” 

“Yup.” Jamie nodded his head, as if to confirm it and you could already feel the butterflies bubbling in your stomach. 

“How intimate.” you giggled, keeping your eyes on his and noticing how the squint when he smiles.

“I was thinking, we should drink our coffees together. You know, to create a bond over our joint tastes...in coffee.” Jamie said, looking down at you and giving his award winning smile. You agreed closing your car door, the two of you walking back into Weekend Coffee together. You grabbed a table while Jamie ordered his coffee and pastry, coming back to the table and telling you he swears by their pastries. It took Jamie all of about 5 minutes to fall in love with you and you with him. The next few months were spent getting to know each other and falling for each other's quirks and habits. 

Jamie woke up in the hospital with virtually no injuries having to listen to the doctor explain to him that his wife was in a medically induced coma. He sat by your side as often as he could and made sure to place your wedding band on your finger where it belongs. Jamie replayed the significant moments in your relationship in his head while he sat by you. 

“Babe, you can’t keep doing that.” Jamie walked outside to where you were crouched over a grey cat giving him some food to eat. 

“I know, but I love him.” you frowned, going back inside his apartment.

“I can’t keep him though, I'm allergic.” Jamie mentioned, and you knew that already, but the poor cat having to stay outside in the heat made your heart ache. 

“Do you want some fruit? I bought it this morning.” you pulled the bowl of fresh fruit out of Jamie’s refrigerator and looked at him while he just smiled at you. Jamie, in those moments, confirmed the thoughts he’d been having for a while now. “What?”

“I want you to move in.” Jamie continued looking at you as he flipped the pancakes he was making for breakfast and you gasped.

“Yes!” you put the fruit down on the counter, coming up behind Jamie and pulling him away from the stove to give him a kiss. 

Jamie smiled at the memory, and looked over at you with a tear in his eye. You had a tube down your throat connected to a ventilator to help you breathe and he couldn’t get over the sight. He blinked back the tears and put his head in his hands thinking about your wedding. 

“I vow to always love you, and always try the new pastry flavors at the cafe, no matter how weird they may be.” you said looking up into Jamie’s eyes, making him and both your friends laugh at your vow to him. 

“You wrote your vows on a Weekend Coffee menu?” Jamie asked, noticing the paper in your hand and you smiled shyly holding it up over your face. Jamie held the same menu up with his vows on it and you both laughed in shock. “Okay, I vow to love every bit of you, now and forever. I promise that no matter what gets in our way, we will always find our way back to each other.” Jamie said, promising his love to you in every way as long as you were both alive. 

“Do you take each other as man and wife?” 

“I do.” Jamie said proudly, a wide smile covering his face.

“I do.” you smiled just as big, letting a happy laugh leave your throat as you said it. The wedding was small, just having Jamie’s bestest friends there who grew to be your friends as well over the years and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

A few days later you started breathing on your own so the doctors removed you from the ventilator and told Jamie you should be waking up soon and you did. The nurse told Jamie to give you some space when you woke up, knowing that you wouldn’t be fully coherent and probably scared.

“Hey.” Jamie whispered from the end of your hospital bed, seeing the eyes he fell in love with finally flutter open. You looked around the room feeling confused and avoiding eye contact with Jamie. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Y/N, it’s okay. You’re in the hospital, you were in a car accident, you suffered from some head injuries, but you’re okay.” the nurse explained in a soothing tone.

“Was anyone else hurt, doctor?” you asked softy, looking directly at Jamie and feeling uncomfortable under his confused gaze. 

“What?” Jamie whispered, feeling his voice about to give out. “Y/N, you know who I am right?”

“You’re my doctor.” you stated, and watched as the man in front of you looked at the nurse and back at you before coming to sit in the chair beside you.

“Um, i’m your husband.” Jamie said, reaching for your hand and feeling his heart break when you pulled away from him holding a scared expression on your face. You glanced down at your left hand gasping when you noticed the wedding ring. Jamie walked out of your hospital room with the nurse feeling frustrated as she explained how brain injuries were hard to diagnose because of how unpredictable the brain is. 

“She doesn’t remember me!” Jamie said frustratedly, pulling at the ends of his hair. 

“The swelling in the brain can cause confusion and memory loss sometimes, but it’s normal.” the nurse explained, watching Jamie walk down the hallway of the hospital with tears in his eyes. 

Jamie went home to pack a bag for you and came back to the hospital later that night. He fell asleep laying on a few of the chairs in the waiting room and was woken up by you tapping his shoulder lightly. 

“Hi.” Jamie said sitting up, his voice gravely from the short slumber he was in.

“What are you doing?” you asked, wrapping your hospital robe tighter around your body.

“Sleeping.” Jamie yawned, and you smiled awkwardly before nodding your head. Jamie grabbed the bag he packed for you and moved it closer to you. “I brought you some clothes.”

“Thanks.” you spoke, sitting on one of the chairs next to him. “I’m hungry.” 

“Okay.” Jamie laughed, grabbing your bag and walking with you to the hospital cafeteria. Jamie explained to you that you were a painter and had your own studio and you were shocked to find out you didn’t follow through with going to med school. 

“I remember being in med school and...being engaged to Samuel.” you said, noticing how Jamie put his head down a little. “I just, I don’t know.” you got up from your seat in the cafeteria heading up the stairs hearing Jamie run after you.

“Babe, babe, just wait!” Jamie called after you and you tensed hearing the pet name he used, but stopped on the stairs turning to look at him.

“The best thing you can do is to go back to your life, with me. You heard what the doctor said.” Jamie said, putting emphasis on the word “best.”

“But I don’t know you. So what? I’m just supposed to go back to a stranger's place.”

“It’s our place.” 

“There’s no proof of our love? A journal?” you asked, feeling helpless. Of course, you wanted to believe Jamie was your husband for the right reasons and that you were in love with him, but it was so hard for you. 

The next day you got ready to leave with your parents not feeling like going home with Jamie was even an option at this point. 

“Wait hold on, I have a letter you sent when I was away.” Jamie ran into your room, holding up his phone. “You said you wanted proof.”

Hey baby,

I’m at the studio right now and I miss you so bad these paintings are starting to look like you. I’m sending you a letter because I thought it would be a fun surprise for you on your roadie. I hope it actually makes it to you. Anyways, I love you and I can’t wait to see you when you come home next week.

Love you always,

Y/N

“Just think about it, you quit med school, you pursued being an artist, you moved to Dallas. These are all things you did way before meeting me, you know it to yourself to at least experience the life you set up for yourself.” Jamie said, grabbing onto your hands and pouring his heart into those few sentences. “Come home with me.” 

“I guess I could try it out, to see if it will help my memory. If it doesn’t work out, i’ll come home.” you turned to look at your parents as you spoke and your parents understood. They loved Jamie and just wanted the best for you. You drove home with Jamie taking everything from Dallas in on your ride from the hospital. You spent the night looking around your shared apartment at the pictures and smelling the perfumes you had on your vanity. Nothing felt familiar when you went to sleep alone, Jamie sleeping on the living room couch. 

When you woke up you took a shower and came out disturbed to find out you had a tattoo of a bird on your shoulder, and changed into an oversized sweatshirt before going into the kitchen area where Jamie was.

“You look nice.” Jamie said, smirking slightly, taking in your interesting clothing choices.

“Really? This is the only thing of mine I feel comfortable in.” you said, hugging the material around your body awkwardly. 

“That’s mine actually.” Jamie laughed, pointing to the Stars logo on the front and you laughed while apologizing and he assured you it was okay that you wear it. Jamie went to practice and you managed to find the video of your wedding chuckling at your corny vows and tears up at Jamie’s. You noticed the name of the cafe on the menus and decided to go there for the afternoon. 

The next few weeks went by as seamlessly as they could when you’re suffering from amnesia. You and Jamie made small talk in the mornings and at night before retreating to your own beds. Nothing felt normal for you, but you were trying everyday to discover new things around the apartment that might jog your memory while Jamie was at practice. Today you were feeling curious about your old life and Samuel and how things ended between the two of you when you remember being so blissfully in love with him. You called your mom and asked where he worked so you could visit him and although she was hesitant on telling you she eventually gave you the information. You took a short bus ride to locate his office building that he worked at and asked the receptionist to show you where his office is. 

“Hi.” you said walking into his office, smiling widely when he turned to look at you and you realized he hadn’t changed a bit. 

“Y/N.” Samuel said, shocked to see you standing in his office after no many years apart. You explained to him what happened with the car accident and how the last thing you remember is being with him. 

“Can you please explain what happened with us?” you asked, shifting in your seat across from him in his office. 

“Only you would dump a guy and then come back and ask for answers.” Samuel said, fidgeting with the pen on his desk. “A cruel, pre wedding dumping.” 

“Why?” you asked, genuinely confused not fathoming why you would call off your wedding to the guy sitting in front of you.

“You just changed. You weren’t sure about med school anymore, and you really weren’t sure about me.” Samuel explained. “It’s okay though, i’ve been with Rose for about a year now.”

“Right.” you shook your head slightly disappointed that the guy you last remember loving had moved on from you. 

“I couldn’t wait forever, Y/N.” you nodded your head agreeing with him and stood up to leave. 

“I’ll let you get back to work.” you said, both of you going in for a hug, something you hadn’t felt in ages. Feeling Samuel’s arms wrap around your waist made you pull back to look at him before leaning in to kiss him with your hands cupping his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” you said, pulling away and walking out the door. 

The next day you woke up ready to explore a different part of your new life that you hadn’t yet understood. The artist side. The last time you wanted to be an artist you were in high school so owning your own studio and actually selling paintings to people was one of the biggest things you had to wrap your mind around. 

“I’m ready to see the studio.” you said at breakfast with Jamie, hoping he would take you there and show you around. 

“Yea? Alright! We’ll go after this.” Jamie said excitedly, ready to show you a huge part of who you were. It was a short walk from your apartment so after breakfast the two of you went there and Jamie unlocked the doors for you. 

“This is it.” he said, opening the door and letting you inside first to take everything in. “It’s cool right?”

“Wow.” you said slowly walking around the room, looking at all of your art supplies and paintings all over the room. 

“You used to come in here and blast the music and get so lost in your art.” Jamie explained, watching you look around at everything, stopping to touch a few of the pieces you had on the walls. Jamie handed you a paintbrush when you stopped in front of your latest unfinished piece and you hesitated before taking it. “Go ahead.”

“I don’t really know what i’m doing.” you felt panicked and insecure in those moments, with Jamie watching over you knowing he wanted nothing more than to know you still remember how to make art. 

“Hold on.” Jamie said, running over to the stereo you had in the corner of the room and turning it up loudly before walking back to you with a big smile on his face. “Just try it.”

“Can you just turn the music down please?” you asked, voice shaky feeling anxiety erupt in your stomach and spread all over your body. 

“I swear you used to listen to it way louder than this-” 

“I have a clinically bad fucking headache! Please turn it down!” you threw the paintbrush, yelling over the music at Jamie and rubbing your temples. Jamie turned off the music, feeling anger bubbling up inside of him. He didn’t want to blow up on you, but he wanted you to realize it was hard for him too.

“I’m trying to help you! We don’t speak to each other like this, Y/N. This is difficult for me too.” Jamie explained, before turning around and walking out of your studio. After he left you spent some more time looking around before going back to your apartment. Jamie went for a walk and stopped at your favorite takeout place before returning home to you. 

“Y/N?” Jamie called out, not seeing you in the living room.

“I’m in here.” you responded, and Jamie walked into your bedroom seeing you packing a bag. “My sister is getting married soon and I just feel like I should be there for her. She has an engagement party coming up so I want to help her with that.” 

“Okay, but what about your life here?” Jamie asked, watching you walk around your room grabbing more things to pack away.

“I don’t know, I just- I can’t do it.” you said. “I’m sorry, it’s just going to be until after the wedding.” 

You invited Jamie to your sister’s engagement party, per your family's request, and against your sisters. Your sister never minded Jamie, but she always preferred you with Samuel, since she was the reason you guys had met in the first place. Your parents insisted on Jamie being a part of this event, not as your date, but just so he could feel welcome in this aspect of your life since it was new for all of you.

“Y/N!” Jamie said, spotting you once he entered the backyard to where the party was happening.

“Jamie! You made it!” you said, walking over to him and noticing his suit. “You look nice.”

“I was thinking that we should try a new method. We should start from the beginning, and I would like to take you on a date.” 

“A date?” you asked, feeling uneasy at his question when you looked behind him briefly noticing Samuel. “I don’t know, the weddings coming up-”

“But if we go before that, you could still take me as your date.” Jamie said, smirking. Suddenly feeling smooth and confident with his choice of words. 

“Okay. A date.” you nodded your head in agreement, smiling widely up at Jamie before both of your attentions got turned to some toasts being made. 

A few days later and Jamie was getting ready for his date with you. He picked you up at your sister’s house, just outside of Dallas. 

“Where are we going?” you asked curiously, noticing that Jamie was driving back into the city. 

“It’s a surprise.” Jamie said, and not long after you made it to your first destination which was parked on the side of the road, you knew it looked familiar from the day you explored on your own, but you couldn’t pinpoint it. “This is the exact spot where we first met. I’m gonna take you down memory lane.” 

You guys got out of the car and headed into Weekend Coffee where Jamie brought you to the table you first sat at together and left to go up and get you the same order you both had that day. 

“This is my favorite pastry of all time and the day we met I forced you to try it.” Jamie said, sliding the pastry over to you for you to try. You took a small bite and moaned in satisfaction making both of you laugh at your reaction.

“It’s amazing!” you took another bite, and listened as Jamie explained to you how you always order that pastry and whatever new flavor they have that time and split them. The next stop on Jamie’s list was the rink where the Stars practice and also where he taught you how to skate very quickly into your relationship. 

“What do you think?” Jamie asked, handing you a sweatshirt to wear while you're inside the rink.

“Um, I can’t skate. I’ll eat ice.” you said, shaking your head and Jamie laughed throwing his head back.

“I got you, don’t worry.” Jamie said, finishing the laces on his skates before kneeling down to help you tie yours the proper way for them to be secure on your feet. Jamie stood up on his skates and walked towards the opening of the rink before turning to look at you. You nodded slowly wobbling behind him, and watching as he expertly took his place on the ice.

“Hold my hand.” you shrieked, holding both your hands out for him to take. Jamie grabbed a hold of your hands and led you onto the ice, but he quickly moved his hands to your waist to help stabilize you.

After a little while of him holding you tightly, you hadn’t realized when he started pulling away from you and you were skating on your own. You gasped realizing he was watching you from about a foot away and that caused you to lose your balance. You felt your skates come up from under you and you closed your eyes bracing yourself for the fall, but it never came jamie saving the fall, holding you in his arms.

“Oh my god! I thought I was gonna die!” you yelped, and looked up at Jamie seeing him smiling down at you.

“I think you learned even quicker this time around.” Jamie smirked, standing you up straight  on your skates. The two of you wrapped up the lesson and made your way back out to his car.

“Kiss me.” you said to Jamie once both of you were in the car. Jamie looked at you with wide eyes and you were already smiling confidently at him. 

“Are you sure?” Jamie asked, already starting to lean into you and you nodded your head yes before pulling him in by the back of the neck. Jamie put everything he had in that kiss and you could feel all his emotions pouring into it. 

“This is nice.” you said, pulling away with a smile on your lips. Jamie nodded, leaning in to kiss you again, finally letting himself feel safe in your embrace because for the first time in months he felt close to you again. You pulled apart both of you breathing heavy and your faces flushed and Jamie drove you back to your sisters house and of course, walked you to the door like a gentleman. 

“I miss you. I miss us. I love you.” Jamie said, and you gave him a sad smile before looking around to avoid meeting his gaze.

“I should get inside. Goodnight Jamie.” you walked into the house, giving him a small smile before closing the door. When you walked inside your sister was sitting on the couch watching tv and waiting for you. 

“Hey! Were you out with Samuel?” your sister asked excited. 

“No, I was with Jamie. I like him.” you smiled, trying to fight off the tears beginning to pool in your eyes, but that didn’t help and they came rushing down your face.

A few days later and it was your sister's wedding, you didn’t bring Jamie as your date knowing that it wouldn’t be fair to him to give him that kind of hope. Jamie kept his distance with you, not wanting to overwhelm you with his presence at the reception. 

“Hey, you want me to introduce you to people. Can’t feel good to be the one left out.” Samuel said, coming over to where Jamie was standing at the bar.

“I’m not the one left out.” Jamie said confidently. 

“If you say so. You just seem weird over here all by yourself.” Samuel laughed, getting his drink from the bartender. 

“I’m just waiting for Y/N.” Jamie said, slight irritation in his tone of voice

“Good luck with that.” Samuel said, starting to walk away from the bar.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” Jamie asked, before Samuel could get too far away. “Y/N leaves you, has a whole life without you with some new guy that's different and now you get to watch her reject all of that.”

“I like it a little bit, I guess.” Samuel smirked, a condescending chuckle falling from his lips. 

“You wanna know what I like? I like that Y/N told me everything about you, that when she was with you she’d wake up at night panicking thinking, ‘is this all there is?’” Jamie said, taking a sip from his drink.

“She told you everything?” Samuel asked, a smile on his face. “Did she tell you that she kissed me a few weeks ago?” 

“Look, you obviously love her and think that you're gonna get her back, but she outgrew you. It’ll probably happen again, man.” Jamie said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, i’ll be sure to think about that when i’m in bed with your wife.” Samuel said, and that was the final straw for Jamie as he threw a punch to his face knocking Samuel to the ground. 

“Jamie!” you yelled, running over and seeing Samuel on the ground. Jamie turned to look at you and ran after you. 

“What was that?” you felt Jamie coming up behind you so you stopped short turning around once you were out of earshot from everyone. 

“I’ve been driving myself crazy trying everything possible to save us and you’ve been kissing Samuel?” Jamie said, frustration hitting him like a brick. 

“That’s not fair!” you said, looking up at Jamie.

“No? I see the way you look at him, it’s the same way you used to look at me.” Jamie whispered, looking at the ground and back up at you. “Your memory’s not coming back. I’m a stranger.”

“I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you Jamie. I’m so tired of disappointing you.” you let the tears fall down your face freely.

“I know. How do you look at the girl you love and tell yourself it’s time to leave?”Jamie asked, before turning and walking away from you. 

9 Months Later

You were finally getting around to unpack your things from Jamie’s apartment. You hadn’t realized the last box was holding something very near and dear to your heart. It was your wedding vows, the ones written on Weekend Coffee menus. 

“I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to have the patients that love demands.” you read the menu outloud, feeling a pang in your chest and your breath hitch in your throat. You decided to take a ride to the small cafe where everything started, upon arriving you saw Jamie outside the doors reading the “closed” sign on the glass. Jamie turned, walking away from the door and doing a double take as he saw you approaching and stopped in his tracks.

“Hi.” Jamie said, walking closer to meet you halfway on the sidewalk.

“Hi.” you responded, both of you stopping in front of each other.

“I hope you didn’t come all the way to the city for a pastry.” Jamie said, turning to look back at the sign.

“Actually, I moved back here six months ago.” you said, smiling up at Jamie.

“Really? That’s great.” 

“I’ve actually started to paint again.”

“That’s amazing!” 

“It’s crazy what my hands remember, that my mind forgot you know?” you said, gesturing to your head as you spoke. “So, thank you.”

“Wasn’t me.” Jamie said, shaking his head noticing the tears pooling in your eyes.

“Yes it was. You did everything. You never wanted anything but the best for me.” you said, reassuring Jamie, wiping the tears that started to fall down your face.

“I just wanted you to be happy.” Jamie confirmed. 

“Isn’t there somewhere we used to go when this place closed?” you asked, smirking at Jamie hoping he’s getting the hint that you want to go out with him. 

“Yea, let’s go.” Jamie said, both of you walking the same direction. Jamie smiling down at you when you reached for his hand. 

You never regained your memory, but the love between you and Jamie was true, it was real and raw and able to be felt no matter what forces were between you. It was a love that anyone could feel being in the same room as you, it was kind, patient, and honest. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

taglist: @sortagaysortahigh​ @sweeterthansammy​ @butgilinsky​ @kiedhara​ @taiter-tots​ @jjmaybanksbaby​ @jamiedrysdales​ @ana-maa​ @iamtheblondestblonde​ @elitebarzal​ @softboybarzal​ @himbos-on-ice​ @bestestbenn​ @dreamypeaches​ @mycaptaintazer​ @dunnerbarzal​ @matbarzall​ @sidscrosbyy​ @calgarycanuck​ @celestialblae​ @jackiesquinn​​

[nari-nim]

forever anticipating

“hi i don't know if your requests are open but if they are can you write an scenario in which hyunsuk sets jihoon and y/n on a blind date? fluffy? btw do you think he would kiss on the first date?”

aww anonie this is the cutest request! time for some SOFT JIHOON HOURS!  To answer your question, I think Jihoon is highly intuitive and can read body language well so he will use that to inform his decision whether or not to go for the kiss! If his date is down, he will not hesitate. I hope you enjoy the direction I took :) lmk what you think!! 💓

This is how Jihoon secretly looks at you when you aren’t looking during your date. gif credit goes to @khaly-no​

Treasure Jihoon x Y/N

warnings: none, this FLUFFY

word count: 1.8k

— the dorms —

Video game night was in full swing and it has never been louder in the dorms. Jeongwoo screeched over the sound of six other members’ simultaneous bickering. Meanwhile, Asahi decided now was the perfect time hit whoever blinked with a couch pillow. Normally, Hyunsuk wouldn’t have tolerated this level of rowdiness under his roof. But he was busy. He sat quietly on the far end of the sofa tapping furiously into his phone, a sly smile plastered across his features.

“Hey, Jihoon—oh my god,” Hyunsuk said, his smile melting as soon as he looked up. The chaos activated his leader (mother) mode. “Jihoon-Jeongwoo get down. Jeongwoo, please. Haruto, wait--Junkyu-Junkyu- ASAHI”

Asahi stopped. The rest followed suit.

The room turned to normal levels of volume, and Hyunsuk was able to try again. 

“Jihoon, come here.” Jihoon perked up from his Mashiho impersonation, and got up to join Hyunsuk.

“Bro, you should join us. Junghwan is killing it, you don’t want to miss his true maknae on top moment.” (He’s actually not, the beloved super king cow king baby is getting crushed by Haruto every round). Jihoon slid next to Hyunsuk, glancing at his phone screen. “What are you...”

Hyunsuk flashed him a cheeky smile and hid what he was working on for the past half hour.

“You’re going on a blind date tomorrow.”

“No way, this feels somewhat illegal. Tell me more.”

“Her name is y/n and I met her through a mutual friend. They go to uni together and we met at that hangout I went to last weekend. Park Jun, she is exactly your type. You gotta trust me on this one.”

Jihoon blinked at him, for once without a witty remark. Jihoon squinted at Hyunsuk, and chuckled in disbelief. Reality was hitting him and logic does not like that shit eating grin on Hyunsuk’s face.

“Hyunsuk, you’re setting me up? You, really? This is actually happening? Right before our flight to Japan?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow early morning at the Han River. You’ll have a few hours before we head over to Incheon.” 

Jihoon ruffled his hair and sat back into the couch. He sucked in a breath. Hyunsuk frowned, “you don’t want to? Sorry man, I really thought your vibes would’ve matched and-“

“Oh no no, hyung, I’m just...worried since we’re going to promote in Japan for the next two weeks and our schedules are so busy. It might end up hurting us both,” Jihoon confessed. “And it’s been forever since I last been on a date.”

“Nah I think you’re worrying way too much in advance. The policy is chill now and, hey, who can say no to waiting a few weeks for those abs,” Hyunsuk reassured. 

“Oh right, I’m going to flash my abs the fifth minute in,” Jihoon said sarcastically. He did make a mental note, though, because if you really are that cute? He’ll need that Plan G.

“Here, I’ll text you the address now. You better not flake and make me look bad.”

“HEY! What are you guys WHISPERING about!” Jeongwoo said, looking at them suspiciously. Simultaneously, the nonactive players of the game whipped their heads to stare at the pair.

“Nothing, the grownups are talking” Jihoon joked, dramatically nodding and shooting thumbs up at Hyunsuk. Jihoon left the resulting hysterics and sound of Hyunsuk cackling behind for the comforts of his room where he checked his buzzing phone. Turns out, Hyunsuk had attached the pictures of you, figuring he would give Jihoon that peace of mind (and a way to find you tomorrow) under the instructions.

Holy shit. 

Jihoon eyes widened. You are exactly his type. Jihoon couldn’t stop staring at your smiling features. The soft smile that colored his features never left his face for the rest of the night.

He couldn’t wait.

— Han River —

Wow ok, this is slightly worse than evaluation days, Jihoon decided, nervously kicking a small pebble around on the dusty road.

“Hey, Jihoon?”

Jihoon froze for a millisecond and turned around to face you.

You looked ethereal in the early morning sun. The light reflected off your lovely features, illuminating the kind glow of your smile. Jihoon made another mental note to treat Hyunsuk to dinner once they land in Japan.

“The one and only. Y/n?”

“Yes,” you nodded shyly. “It’s nice to meet you, Jihoon.”

Jihoon loved hearing his name coming from your lips. Which were so pretty and pink and—

Jihoon cleared his throat. “Likewise.” After a small pause, “Is there anything you would like to do in particular while we get to know each other?”

You laughed, the sound music to Jihoon’s ears. He wants to hear that all the time now, he decided.

“I actually really like taking pictures of random beautiful things that pique my interest! Maybe we can just go for a walk and explore what we find beautiful about the Han River?”

“Perfect,” Jihoon smiled widely, which somehow grew when he noticed the blush in your cheeks.

And that’s how you two somehow went from exchanging detailed introductions to sharing hobbies to discussing life goals and values, all while snapping amazing scenery pics. This developed into a made up game of taking the best picture, judged entire on a subjective and nondemocratic point system. The winner gets uncontested glory and a copy of all the photos of the loser’s captured moments. 

“HAHA, y/n I just got the spiciest photo of these golden bell flowers over this ledge!”

“What, how??” You whipped around from trying to make some daisies look aesthetic. The competitive side of you was taking over.

“I guess it’s one of the perks of being taller,” Jihoon said, hopping down the said six foot tall ledge he spent the last few minutes scaling. He dusted his pants off carefully and flashed you his eye smile. In a singsong voice, he said, “and one of those perks is winning this game~”

Yeah you were not about to risk a broken arm for that picture. “Okay, fine, but show it to me?”

“Nuh uh.” He flashed you the picture in one second bursts, having the best time teasing you.

Jihoon paused. He got so comfortable with you in the last hour that he just teased you like he does with the other Treasure members. His worries were interrupted at the adorable sight of you giggling. He internally sighed of relief.

“NuH uH,” you mimicked backed at him, reaching for his phone. 

Jihoon quickly yanked his phone above his head, dramatically leaned his body so it was out of your reach. Surprised, you tried to change course. But in the spur of the moment, the momentum carried you just a tad too far. You bump slightly into his chest. Jihoon instinctively grabbed at you to prevent you from losing your balance further, his hands falling on your waist. His large hands felt so warm through the fabric, his breath brushing as the top of your forehead. You were so close.

His eyes widened, heat rushing to his cheeks. For a second, your eyes meet. You wonder if he can hear the thundering in your chest.

Jihoon quickly let go and took a step back, slightly bowing at you. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to grab you like that!”

You could tell your face was absolutely flushed at this point, but you made a show of brushing off your outfit and stuck your nose in the air, “as long as you don’t have cooties.”

“Ooh,” Jihoon winced. “I definitely do. Exclusive, premium, limited edition cooties.”

You laughed, thankful he didn’t press you on the obvious blush. Although it’s not like his face was any better.

“Hey, y/n,” Jihoon said, pulling you out of your internal monologue. “This might be about it for the date. My phone has actually been blowing up with reminders to get back.”

Oh, You tried to hide the sadness in your face. The few hours you spent together seemed to fly by so fast, and you definitely longed for more. Within the span of the date, he showed just how incredible he is—unyielding dedication to his dreams, selfless outlooks on life, and a kind, hilarious and loving personality that felt like sunshine on a rainy day.

Jihoon noticed the quiet pause, and softly asked, “May I walk you home?”

You let out an airy laugh. “Not unless you want to walk 45 minutes in one direction and an hour in the other, Park Jihoon. It’s okay, I’ll take the subway!”

“Right, right,” Jihoon chuckled. You guys reached an intersection leading pedestrians away from the river sidewalk. The signs pointed to your destinations in opposite directions, which felt too meta for your taste.

Jihoon turned to face you.

“You know, golden bell flowers means anticipation in flower language.” He looked the most serious he has ever been all morning.

You mustered yourself to look into his eyes.

“That’s suitable, Jihoon, because I anticipate for you to call me as soon as you safely land and are available.”

“Deal.”

Numbers and addresses (for postcards, he claims) were exchanged.

“Jihoon, I had an amazing time today.” You said, suddenly feeling shy again. A part of you wished you could walk him back, but that would attract unwanted attention.

“Me too, y/n. Thanks for waking up so early to spend all this time with me.” Jihoon said, the tone of his voice so soft and genuine.

He shifted a little closer, eyes flickering to your lips. 

Your eyes widened. 

He leaned in and gently rested his hand against the back of your head. His eyes searched yours, asking.

Oh my god, yes please. You drew even closer in answer, eyes fluttering shut. 

Jihoon closed the distance. His lips gently pressed into yours, completing a perfect puzzle. The kiss was was warm, sweet and heartfelt. Your lips gently moved against each other, before you pulled slightly away for air. As your foreheads rested against each together, a warm wave unfurled in your chest.

Just a little more, you thought. Jihoon seemed to agree as you both lean in again, this time the kiss far less hesitant. Your hands rest against his chest while he cups your face with his. Jihoon pulled back, pushing a strand of hair behind your ears. His phone was aggressively ringing, you realize.

“I’ll see you, y/n.”

“I’ll anticipate you, Jihoon.”

He watched your retreating figure for a bit before he headed back to the dorm, giddy with joy.

— your home —

A few days later, a package arrived. It was from Jihoon. Your heart raced. 

He never mentioned anything about this in his calls, you excitedly thought. 

You slowly pulled out the contents, marveling at each one. A picture of the Han River reflecting the morning light. A dozen of printed photos he somehow took of you that day (you laughing at something you took, looking off into the river, and crouching over vegetation). A polaroid of him in the hotel room, “you better be missing me so damn hard” it captioned. You chuckled, touched by his gift. 

You were about to close the envelope until you realized there’s still one item left. You reached in. And you gasped.

A golden bell flower, pressed by hand. 

[sirowsky]

The Flowers Always Know

Description: When a mad scientist uses you as an experiment while you’re on holiday, the Heroics only just manage to save you. And in your recovery you become very close to the leader of the group.

(Slow burn)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language, buried trauma, mentions of tortured and murdered children, furious Marcus.

Link to Masterlist

Comment: We learn a bit more history on the Heroics as a whole, and something Reader’s been supressing, that leads to some new developments concerning her powers.

(Again I apologise for the crossover GIF, but really Narcos just has the best ones. Also, let me know if it’s yours and I’ll credit you!)

Chapter 39

  Wisconsin was getting cold this time of year, and you were frustrated. Verity had really outdone himself this time. He’d positioned himself right smack in the middle of suburbia, on Barbara Lane, in De Pere, Green bay, forcing you to take twice as many safety precautions as usual, before you could see him.

  You’d asked Marcus after the first time you’d met the truth-seeker, if it wouldn’t be less dangerous and more inconspicuous for him to come to you, instead of you having to travel all over the country to find him. But Marcus had explained that he had adapted a lifestyle that meant that he was never in one place for more than two days, in order to stay ahead of any team that HQ might send out to investigate his energy-signature.

  He rarely used his ability to the extent that the new and more powerful sensors could detect it, but on the few occasions when he had, he’d found himself having company some time later. Their response time varied depending on where in the country he was, and whenever he was closer to the west coast, his temporary lodgings were always significantly shorter.

  Allen had been quiet for most of the journey, deep in his thoughts, but when you started getting close to your destination, the old man started talking.

  “I built most of HQ, you know. The Heroic organisation.”

  “Yeah, you were one of the founders, right? One of the first non-powered people to suggest that supers might need help to become actual heroes. You got them to talk to one another, start building relationships, creating the friendships that would ultimately turn them into a team.”

  “It was almost impossible to get those knuckleheads to coincide. There were only four of them back then, and they all wanted the glory and heroism to themselves, fighting for the spotlight every chance they got. We really thought our efforts weren’t gonna do anything.”

  “What changed it around?”

  “Anita Moreno.”

  “Hah… of course she did.”

  “When she came along, young and determined and confident, she elbowed out their failing attempts at leadership by actually taking charge, and making them listen to reason. By way of a beat-down if necessary.”

  “That, I can believe. And I’d have loved to see it.”

  “She was fearless of their powers and their masculinity, their macho-bullshit. And before long, she had them training to improve their skillsets, studying the politics of the world, saying that if they were gonna insist on meddling in other cultures, then it was also their responsibility to understand what the hell they were meddling with.”

  “And that’s where you took the opportunity, I’m guessing?”

  “I reached out to Anita, offering financial support in creating a training-facility for the supers, a kind of recreational area, where they could play with their abilities, test themselves against each other, without risking harm to anyone. She really liked the idea, and asked me to find out if anyone else would be interested in helping them, and over time, that’s how the Heroics were born.”

  “And now it’s been tainted.”

  “I don’t know that it hasn’t been completely destroyed already.”

  “Henry, the organisation can never be destroyed, not as long someone’s around to fight back. And you’d better believe we are.”

  “What have you brought me today, Rainbow?”

  A little while later, you finally stepped into the house, and Verity’s energy hit you. Since he knew you couldn’t use your power to greet him anymore, he called to you from the kitchen and you guided Allen there.

  The poor man was already pale.

  “Someone I really hope you’re about to tell me I can trust.”

  “A founder… this is a first. Your heart is filled with love, for your family, mostly, but that also makes you susceptible to great fear. Right now, you fear what will be left of your legacy once this mess is made public. You fear that the Heroics will be shut down, and that your life’s work will go down in history as nothing but a failed experiment. You love your creation, it gives you great pride, but you fear it too. The power it’s accumulated, and how the politics have gotten more and more in control of it. But you are innocent of any crime or conspiracy. You are, at heart, a good man.”

  Allen looked like he might vomit, so you helped him to sit down and brought him a glass of water.

  “Who are you?”

  Verity never answered that question, no matter who was asking, so you sat down next to Henry to explain.

  “He’s a very special super, that you can never mention to anyone. If you do, he’ll disappear, and we’ll have no way of knowing who’s trustworthy or not.”

  “He can tell the truth? I never even spoke…”

  “Verity sees the truth, like a web around people. I don’t know exactly how it works, but he can see everything, past and present. Every lie and every truth of your entire existence.”

  “Incredible. And really unnerving.”

  “Yes, but worth it. Thanks to him we have over 120 trusted operatives working for us all over the world, and that’s not including the Heroics.”

  “That’s… impressive. But I fear this enemy is going to need much greater numbers than that, to be defeated.”

  “Maybe. But 89 of those operatives are supers, and that evens the odds significantly.”

  “What? But… we scan for people with abilities all over the world, we would know if that many existed.”

  “Not if they’d been hiding their powers. We figured that anyone who was on the Heroics radar, would most likely be on SIC’s as well, so we focused entirely on reaching out to those that we knew were hidden. And in that process, we uncovered a whole community of powered people that want nothing to do with the fame or recognition, and once they understood the stakes, they all agreed to help us. And they, in turn, are reaching out to their friends, normal and super, to join the fight. Our numbers grow every day, Henry. We can beat these assholes; we just need a little more time.”

  Verity’s energy focusing on you, broke your concentration, and you turned to look at him.

  “What is it?”

  “I’m not sure. Something… something in your memories.”

  “If it’s my memory then why can’t you see it clearly?”

  “It’s been hidden. It’s a memory you can’t see yourself.”

  Your skin crawled and your heartbeat picked up, in an involuntary response to any kind of mention of your time with the mad doctor. Verity noticed.

  “A painful memory. Something you don’t want to remember.”

  “I don’t want to remember any of it, V.”

  “Tubes, wires, machines, syringes. Your body remembers. Your cells do.”

  “Pain… so much pain, your nerves remember all of it. You fought him. You bit him twice, escaped your bindings once, almost got out. He punished you for that by pouring battery-acid on your feet. He was so confident that his experiment would work that he didn’t care how much damage he caused you in the process.”

  Lost in his search into your mind, Verity slowly started moving towards you, centring all his power on you, desperate to uncover everything that was hidden. You weren’t sure if he was even aware of how overbearing he was in that moment. How threatening.

  He had never come across a truth he couldn’t see before, and it made him obsessive and ruthless in his pursuit of it. A part of you knew that, but your reptile brain was overcome with a sense of danger, and you backed away from him, but he followed you.

  “V… please, stop.”

  He didn’t even hear you.

  “You’re hiding from me. I can feel the memory so clearly, wrapped in a bubble I can’t penetrate. I need to know what it is.”

  He was pushing so much of his energy into your mind to try and break that bubble, that you started feeling unnaturally heavy. Your body suddenly felt like it was moving through liquid, meeting so much resistance that it exhausted you just to take a single step.

  You collapsed to the floor, struggling to breathe, and still he didn’t let up. He towered over you, and somewhere in the background you heard Allen trying to reason with him, but then a splitting pain shot through your head, and you passed out.

  “You stay the fuck away from me, V!”

  You woke up lying on the sofa in the living room, your head still throbbing and the light burning your eyes. But from what little you could make out, Verity was sitting on a chair right next to you, and it made the bear inside you wake up with full force.

  You launched yourself at him, placing a hard fist at his solar plexus, and when he involuntarily crunched forwards, his face had a very abrupt meeting with your elbow.

  He fell backwards, toppling the chair over and breaking it as he hit the floor, bleeding from his nose and cheek-bone.

  Allen rushed into the room from the kitchen, holding a pack of ice he’d apparently been getting for you. You wobbled over to him and swiped it from his hands to put against your right temple, while Verity slowly got to his knees.

  “I saw it. The memory you were hiding, I was able to break your defence the moment before you lost consciousness.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “He did it in front of you. He strapped children into that chair, and made you watch as he drained them. He made you watch their strength gradually leave them as the pain got to be too much. You saw the faces of at least nine of them, wordlessly begging you for help.”

  “I trapped those memories away for a reason, you asshole. Just because you need the truth like a fucking addict, doesn’t mean I do!”

  The images came to you as he voiced them. You remembered those faces, fifteen of them, actually. You remembered their pain, and how much you wished that you could have borne it for them. How gladly you’d have sacrificed yourself for them, if you could have.

  That was why your powers had manifested into what they did. That was why you couldn’t heal yourself, because in that time and place, you truly didn’t care if you died.

  You slumped against the nearest wall and slowly allowed yourself to sink to the floor. Your head was still throbbing, and you were beyond angry.

  “You do need to know this.”

  “You don’t get to decide that for me! You don’t get to torture me, V, that’s what the fucking bad guys do!!”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, that is as close to a god damned lie as you’ve ever gotten! You don’t give a shit if your powers hurt me, as long as you get your fucking truth. If you’re sorry about anything, it’s that I’m not grateful for your efforts. Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong!”

  He didn’t speak. He just sat there, looking as unbothered about everything as he always did.

  “Allen, get me the hell out of here.”

  “Hermosa? What’s wrong?”

  You took a cab from the airport, and fell asleep about halfway home. The driver had a calm and rhythmic manner that soothed you, and he was listening to John Williams play the Concierto de Aranjuez, with the soft guitar notes making your frayed mind drift away to a warm and sunny Spain.

  He woke you by gently announcing that you’d arrived at your destination, and you paid him and thanked him for his kindness, before getting out and walking towards the gate in the fence. Your legs felt like lead.

  You could hear Marcus and Missy through the front door as you approached it, ingulfed in playing some boardgame, and you stopped and just listened to them for a while, leaning heavily against the door.

  Your darling Missy, the same age as several of those children. But alive and happy and such a wonderful person already.

  And Marcus. Your reason for living. The one that saved you, and kept saving you, despite the darkness that accompanied you.

  You hadn’t kept your word about checking in with him, so when you texted him while you were waiting at the airport in Green Bay, he’d been furious at first, wanting to know why he hadn’t heard from you in almost five hours. But he’d quickly calmed as you’d simply reminded him that since he was hearing from you now, you were obviously okay, and you’d tell him everything when you saw him.

  But now, standing behind that door, you didn’t want to tell him. You didn’t want to talk about it, and you didn’t want to burden him with knowing it. But you also knew that he’d see it on your face the moment you walked in. You were too tired and in too much pain still, to even try and keep up any appearances.

  You took a breath, and walked inside. Marcus was on his feet the moment the door swung open, and he swept you into a tight hug as soon as he got to you, but the mildness of your response immediately had him worried.

  “Could you just keep your voice down a bit, please. My head’s killing me.”

  “Where you in a fight?”

  He looked closer at you upon hearing that, and he realised that you were actually in terrible shape. He swept you up into his arms and carried you to the bedroom, while asking Missy to come and help him prepare a bath for you.

  She went straight to the bathroom and turned on the taps, and you could hear her going into the cabinets to pull out fresh towels.

  In the meantime, Marcus was helping you out of your clothes, and noticed a big black bruise on your elbow.

  “No… just felt cornered.”

  “By who?”

  “...Verity.”

  His whole posture changed, and you could feel a sudden rage emanating from him.

  “Tell me what he did.”

  “I’m too tired right now…”

  “Querida, look at me. Tell me.”

  “He… broke into the memories I’d hidden… the one’s he couldn’t see before.”

  “The one’s Prince had altered?”

  “No… the one’s I buried. The one’s that were too horrible… He forced them out, and now my head feels like it’s breaking apart.”

  “Why would he hurt you like that?”

  He picked you up again and moved you into the bathroom. Missy only stayed until the tub was full and she could close the taps, and then she hugged you gently and slipped out of the room.

  Marcus took the last of your clothes off before lowering you into the warm water, and when you asked him to join you, he did, holding you close and softly stroking your skin under the water.

  “He can’t stand lies, and apparently that applies to secrets as well. He just had to know; consequences be damned.”

  “He’ll regret that tomorrow.”

  “Don’t bother. He won’t admit to any wrong-doing. And we still need him.”

  “I don’t give a fuck. The only reason I agreed to let you go was because I thought you’d be safe with him.”

  “I don’t have anymore secrets for him to try and uncover now. So, technically I will be, from now on. Not that I ever wanna see him again.”

  “You won’t have to. I’ll deal with him.”

  “We’re still at war, honey. We’re gonna have to do a lot of things we’d rather not.”

  “Fuck the war, I’ll turn my back on the whole damned thing and take you to live with the fucking penguins if that’s what it takes. I’m so tired of seeing you in pain!”

  “Oh, please, keep your voice down…”

  “Sorry.”

  You sat in silence for a while, as the warm water started to open up your capillaries, easing your headache a bit.

  “Are you gonna tell me?”

  You knew what he was asking, and you really wanted to say no, but you also knew that you needed to tell him.

  “Prince made me… he made me watch.”

  The tears burned in your eyes, and you tried to chase the memories away, to lock them back into that little bubble where they couldn’t hurt you. But it was too late.

  “Watch what?”

  You didn’t want to say it out loud. It felt as though that would somehow solidify the images into reality, making them truly inescapable. He could feel your resistance, and tried to soothe you with his current, but it wasn’t enough this time.

  “The… ch-children. He made me… watch them die.”

  “Oh, my god…”

  The next morning you felt better. The headache had eased with some real sleep and you were starting to feel human again. Marcus was right next to you, his arms securely wrapped around you while he slept, but he stirred the moment you did. It was still early enough that your monday alarms hadn’t gone off yet.

  You felt him swallow repeatedly against the bile and grief that surged up in his throat as he realised what you were saying. He’d seen the lab. The extraction chair. And the freshest bodies that Prince hadn’t had time to get rid off before they found his lair. He’d seen how much pain they’d been in as they died, evident in their faces even after death.

  He didn’t say anything else, and you didn’t need him to, you just needed him to hold you, and he did.

  “Good morning, hermosa. Did you sleep okay?”

  “Morning. Yeah, actually I did.”

  “No bad dreams?”

  “I think my headache might have made that impossible. It’s gone now, though.”

  “Good. How do you feel about breakfast?”

  “I’m looking forward to it. I still haven’t eaten in our kitchen yet.”

  “Right. Eggs and toast?”

  “Please.”

  You went about your morning toilet and wash, before heading out to the kitchen together. Missy was already at the island, having cereal and flipping through a schoolbook, and since Marcus was already pulling out the frying pan to get started on the eggs, you sat down with her, before the school bus would get there.

  “Morning, angel. Test today?”

  “Yup. Maths. I got it, though.”

  “Oh, I believe that, you’re good at maths. Break a leg anyway.”

  “Thanks, alma. I’m aiming for top scores.”

  “I like your aim.”

  “Don’t worry, preciosa, her protection is in place.”

  Marcus had just sat down a plate in front of you when the bus honked, and Missy ran out the door while shouting she loved both of you.

  You kept staring at the closed door after she’d disappeared through it, and Marcus knew what you were thinking.

  “I know, but after yesterday… I just feel a bit more protective than usual.”

  “That’s entirely understandable, but please try not to stress over it. You have another one to protect as well.”

  “Right… Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologise, just breathe and eat calmly.”

  “So, Allen got the all clear, I assume. Does that mean he’s in?”

  You dug into the food and it was delicious. So much better than the airport food you’d eaten all day yesterday, even though it was just scrambled eggs and perfectly roasted toast, with those tomatoes on the side, that he’d promised you the day before.

  Marcus let you finish before he started talking again.

  “Yeah, he’s gonna coordinate for us at HQ, so we can keep our attention on the rest of the country, and world.”

  “Is he okay?”

  “Shaken, for numerous reasons, but determined to get his lives work back in order. He told me about the early days, and how he and your mom whipped the first supers into heroes.”

  “Really? Mom doesn’t talk about those days much. She’s told me a lot about my father, but not that much about herself.”

  “Well, she seems to have been a tour de force all her life, from what Allen described. And after what you’ve told me about your dad, I can see why he would’ve fallen for her. They were a good match.”

  “She always says that the best thing about him was how good he was at driving her up the walls, because it forced her to really look at him.”

  “I see what she means.”

  “I don’t drive you up the walls. Do I?”

  “Mostly just in the mornings, when you know I’m not susceptible to ‘fun’, but other than that, you’re pretty well behaved.”

  “Oh, no, the mornings don’t count.”

  “And why the hell not?”

  “Because your morning mood is way too amusing not to take advantage of.”

  “Hey! That is so not fair, I can’t help it that my brain just won’t start on all cylinders at once. And, for the record, this is the second morning in a row that I haven’t been cranky first thing.”

  His whole face lit up in a dazzling smile at that.

  “Wow. That’s more than just a record, babe, that’s almost worthy of a mention on CNN.”

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

  “Sorry to interrupt.”

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?! How could you do that to her?! I have always been your friend, protected you, guided you, helped you any way I could… and you almost kill my wife!!”

  A voice came from the living room, and with the way the house was designed, about half of that space was visible from the kitchen, while the other half was hidden behind the dining room.

  He didn’t need to step into view from behind the wall that separated the two areas, for either of you to know who it was. The truth-seeker had a very recognisable tone and rhythm of speech. But when he did appear, you couldn’t help yourself from getting out of your chair and taking a few steps back towards the kitchen counter, needing as much space between you as possible.

  Marcus, on the other hand, turned positively feral. He rushed Verity and wrestled him to the floor, while screaming at him.

  “I would never have let her come to any harm.”

  You’d never seen him angry like this. Usually he internalised it, afraid to let it loose because of what his powers might do, but this was more than anger. He felt betrayed by one of his oldest friends, and it enraged him in a way that didn’t even involve his powers.

  He had Verity pinned on the floor and was sitting on top of him with his hands around his neck, every muscle in his body was tensed to the breaking-point and there where visible veins pulsing in his face, neck and arms.

  “Are you seriously fucking lying to me right now?! You did harm her, you ignorant piece of shit! Just because she’s the strongest fucking person you’ve ever met, doesn’t mean you can’t hurt her! She could barely even walk!”

  “But she’s not damaged. Her mind is intact.”

  “I don’t believe this…I don’t fucking believe it!”

  He got off of Verity and dragged him up to standing before shoving him down on the nearest chair, still keeping himself in between you and the trespasser. He paced in front of him while he continued to rail at him.

  “Are you seriously telling me, that you don’t know the difference between physically harming someone, and hurting them? How is that even possible, with all the crap you went through as a kid? How do you not know the difference?!”

  “It was a memory. Hiding them away only ever hurts you, I was trying to help her.”

  “Did you see the fucking memory?!”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me exactly how seeing those faces for the rest of her life is gonna help her!”

  “It already has.”

  His eyes shifted to yours, and you instinctively tried to back away further.

  “That memory has already made you understand why you have the powers you do.”

  His energy flowed through you, and it made you feel sick. You closed your eyes in a useless attempt to keep him out, but you felt him explore your mind again, bringing those images to the forefront of your thoughts.

  “Seeing their suffering solidified everything that you are. Through all his torture and experiments, all you wanted was to live. But for them… you wanted to die. You wanted to exchange your life for theirs. That’s your true strength – your armour and your weapon. Look at their faces, Rain. See them and know who you are.”

  “You think that just because you know the truth, you understand everything? Do you think you know how this feels? Do you think you have any idea how much this hurts me? Do you not even see how you’re manipulating me?”

  Your blood suddenly boiled with fury. Who was he to command your thoughts? To impose his perspective on you? This man that had hurt you so badly, only to uncover a truth he had no right to.

  The entire house shook as your powers awoke with a vengeance. You snapped your eyes back open just as Marcus turned back to look at you, realising what was happening.

  But you loved this house, you weren’t gonna put a single fucking dent on it.

  Reaching into that special place inside of you, where you’d learned you could find that sparkling dust, you drew it out and gathered it in large quantities on the floor in front of Verity. Then you allowed your mind to fill with the images of those innocent children, in their dying moments, and transferred those images into the dust.

  Fifteen lifelike sculptures appeared in the sparkles, perfect re-creations of the dead and long forgotten sacrifices, that Verity had never met, never known, and yet felt he had the right to use like string-puppets.

  He had the audacity to smile at your creations.

  His smile faded as you spoke, but he made no attempt to apologise.

  “You’re using my pain to force my hand. You know that my powers hurt me, and you force me to use them anyway. And for what? To try and prove you were right?”

  “No. If anything, my efforts should tell you exactly how much we need your powers in this war. You asked me to help you win it. That’s all I’m doing.”

  “And if our baby dies because of it, that’s just another sacrifice for the greater good?!”

  The sculptures collapsed into mere piles on the floor, and you glared at him furiously, daring him to answer you.

  “I don’t believe your baby will be harmed by your abilities.”

  “Your beliefs are of no fucking relevance to me. Tell me if you would care… at all… if another child had to die in order for us to win this war?”

  He paused, but not to consider his answer, only how you would react to it.

  “No. I wouldn’t care. Wars kill people, of all ages, it doesn’t discriminate. Many more will die before it’s over, and if we’re going to be outraged over each and every one of them, then we won’t have time to fight.”

  Marcus closed his eyes and bowed his head.

  “That’s not the point, V. The point is that we only win if we still care. If we stop caring about life and suffering, then we might as well join the assholes. Can’t you see that?”

  “I haven’t lived like you have, Marcus. Caring has never been a luxury I’ve been able to enjoy. I have nothing. No possessions, no family, one person I would call a friend, and whom, despite my best efforts, I do care about.”

  “Then it should matter to you whether or not my family is safe and well.”

  “It does, and they are. When I say that I don’t believe that your wife’s powers will harm your child, I’m not just guessing. I can see your powers, Rain, the core of them. And while they do damage you a little bit every time you use them, I don’t believe that that damage actually harms you. I believe it slowly changes you.”

  “Changes me… Why? Into what?”

  “I couldn’t say for sure, but I don’t think it’s that kind of change. I think it’s simply trying to make you stronger, physically. As in, superhumanly strong. Invincible. And if anyone’s body could – it’d be yours.”

Authors’ Note: I love criticism, please don’t be shy to let me know if there’s anything you like/don’t like/have questions about.

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