#I know this is probably just my sensitive and traumatized ass but like...it's not funny at all to me. I'm genuinely disturbed by this.

[penny-the-pissed-poltergeist]

Jaunedice arc rewatch time time, Let's get this over with

.One of the worst parts about early Jaune is that he's too incompetent to any cool choreography in his fights

.They real did just give the characters video game health bars

.Oh no! Jaune lost to the guy who can casually bully people multiple school years above him, how surprising

.Ren, how the fuck would you know Nora's dream better than her... that makes no sense

.Really hope Ruby had something before or alongside cookies for lunch, that ain't good for you girl

.Velvet really needs to grow a fucking spine but that doesn't make everyone going "Oh he's so bad, it must be so hard for her" while doing nothing any less bad

... Why is Menagerie called that

.I think it would have been neat to make Oobleck a Faunus because his intro is him talking about Faunus lore and it would make him going asking Faunus in his class to publicly talk about their probably traumatic and sensitive experiences with discrimination a lot less invasive (It'd also be nice to a Faunus in power who isn't a traitor)

.The Faunus won the war but nobody ever fuckin acts like they did

.God I love Oobleck

.if Jaune told canon Pyrrha to kill someone, do you think she'd do it. She's 100% down to break Cardins legs

.Why is a Jaune quip the one suicide related thing in this series that actually lands for me?

.Did Cardin know they would be there or does he just like letting the wind in?

.You think a combat school would have good enough background checks to stop some guy from sneaking in but Jaune must have the best counterfeiting skills on remnant. even then you'd think his parents would at least be suspicious sense he had no proper combat training

."I can't do this on my own, what good am I?" You are already training as a part of school dude, stop being a stubborn loser

now on to Forever Fall....

.Ruby dropping the advice that destroys herself later (It's not always bad advice but god it became so toxic to herself)

.Cardin asking for some fuck bees, but not those bees

.Forever fall looking a bit cooler in the Black trailer but I still really like it here

."Professor Peach" Is expanded on in the books apparently but I'm point that out because there's a weapon's teacher called Herold Mulberry who's also only from the books so Ruby herself can't interact with him goddamn it.

.I will give Jaune one thing, He can SOMETIMES be funny, sometimes.

.Cardin's teammates haven't had a single line yet because they an 8th of a personalty each

.How is Nora slurping the sap that fast?

.Cardin calling Jaune "Jonny boy" gives me Maximilian Pegasus vibes

.How did Jaune's aura do that, we don't see Aura or the Aura amp do anything like that again

.Just send two more people away instead of letting them help you fight a giant ass bear because Yang and Blake totally can't deal with some grimm on their own

.Jaune has weirdly low endurance for the amount of aura he supposedly has

.People already say Jaune is "the real main character" but the problem of everyone but team RWBY feeling like the protag is something that crops up with both him and lots of other characters throughout the series.

.Remember kids if you want someone to stop bullying you, just save them from the fucking B E A R

.If someone is just watching the show without outside material, this is the first time anyone says the word semblance, no how short the episodes are doesn't negate how stupid this. Imagine if the first time hear the word mutation in an X-Man show was 8 episodes in, this is just brain meltingly dumb

.Pyrrha, all keeping that from Jaune is going to do is make him over estimate himself

.Oh yeah Jaune will never be a jerk again after this, he definitely learned his lesson. /S

[siriuslysatorusimping]

HMMM Hollow Echoes has gotta be simultaneously my favourite AND least favourite! Cause as much as I hate HATE that stomach dropping feeling of dread when things go bad... it's also so goooooood. 😂 I'm such a sucker for angst and Hollow Echoes DELIVERED angst on a silver platter. ((And made up for it quickly bless your heart Kiko))

But yeah just--it's just so human of Rinko to slip up and make a miscalulation (despite also having known she shouldn't have. She knew all along!). Which is something we ALL do irl despite our best efforts... and it just made this part so real. Like when you're watching a horror movie and someone makes a bad decision and it's that edge of the seat, cheek gnawing, nail biting 'no, you really should not be doing this right now, please do NOT- i'm closing my eyes' feeling, yknow?

And then Gojo's stone cold reaction? Big yikes. Rejection stings the most when your intent is to do good. And then Rinko began backpedaling and I felt that. Grade 4, pulled outside the classroom, being yelled at by the teacher because i made a bad joke. Feeling flushed, shamed, small. YEESH. Harsh, Kiko, very harsh!!

........but damn if that doesn't mean it was a sick ass segment and incredibly well written HAHAHAHA

10/10 made me feel bad, physically squirmed from discomfort, brought back core memories of school I'd rather forget, would reread again

Hollow Echoes was such a struggle but it holds a very special place in my heart.

I really felt like it fit both of them so perfectly. They reacted how humans would react, not just how characters would. I wanted their conflict and resolution to feel genuine, and I'm really glad it did!

The rejection was so rough. It was the kind that I felt while I was writing it 🥲 Because fun fact: people with ADHD are typically very sensitive to rejection (Rai (@changingchances), will probably have thoughts on this. Can I call you Rai? Is that allowed???) It's called rejection sensitivity or rejection-sensitive dysphoria, and I physically feel unwell when I experience it. So that makes writing angst that involves rejection rough for me sometimes 🫠🫠

THANK YOU FOR PLAYING THIS GAME!! And I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable by forcing you to remember traumatic/embarrassing childhood moments 😅😬

More below the cut about Hollow Echoes 🙃

Addtionally, there seem to be a few people who are just starting the series, so Hollow Echoes and Show Your Hand are getting a bit more attention, and there are comments 😂 People are very upset when they read those two installments. They get so angry that Rinko forgives Gojo.

But, like I said then, it's human of Gojo the way he does. Is it right? No. And while he doesn't apologize for those instances, he knows he shouldn't have done it, and promises not to do it again. And he follows through. That's the thing: were these instances constant, then it would be toxic and wrong for Rinko to stay. But these were always one-time instances. He fucked up once, and he didn't fuck up that way again. Gojo learned from his mistakes with Rinko, and that's why she allowed him second chances.

It's also funny because people said to 'get even' or dump him, but they weren't dating. They were friends who had sex. Yeah, they acted like a couple, but they weren't one. And that's why it worked so long!

ANYWAY, I GAVE A GIANT RANT THAT I DIDN'T NEED TO GIVE, BUT HERE WE ARE. I ALWAYS RANT 😭😭😭

[starfieldcanvas]

no, that guy can be banned without the mods feeling bad about it. "skirting the written rules to be an ass and get away with it" is a violation of a clear and well-known societal rule. the rule-skirter is a pain in the ass, yeah, but he's only a permanent problem if the moderator can't handle making judgement calls about antisocial behavior not covered by pre-written rules, in which case that mod probably shouldn't be a mod.

being consistently annoying in a clueless but well-meaning way, in a way where not only is the person not breaking any rules, not only are they not being antisocial, but they also aren't even really violating any unwritten etiquette in any way that can be explained to them, is the worst because there genuinely isn't anything the person is doing wrong! they're trying to contribute, they're friendly, they're generally at least trying to be interested in what other people have to say, and in my experience they often don't realize they're being put up with or patronized, even when other community members lose their patience and get short with them.

some people in the comments are describing community members who are actually bad in some concrete objectionable way, but that's not the kind of guy OP was talking about. we are talking about the discord server equivalent of your 11-year-old cousin who really really wants to talk to you about his favorite streamer who's modded Among Us into a farming sim, but he is very bad at explaining things so it's incredibly boring and confusing no matter how many patient questions you ask and you keep having to correct him on small mistakes and he keeps trying and failing to be funny. these problems are of course normal and expected for 11-year-olds, but when the person is 27, there is no longer any real hope that they are going to grow out of it.

they aren't bad, you just can't have a fucking normal conversation with them because the thing they're doing wrong is close enough to normal socializing that you can't easily explain what they need to change. "stop being boring"? "stop being clueless"? "stop trying to crack jokes"??? you end up in a situation of "can we just not be friends? i do not enjoy spending time with you," and that's hard enough when you're actually in a position to reject their overtures of friendship, but when you're a community moderator, you're not their friend, you're more like their homeroom teacher, and you can't send a kid to the principal's office for being consistently lowkey annoying!

from my experience as a moderator, i would say that while this description does appear to dovetail with the childhood experiences of many neurodivergent people, especially autistic people, the similarity is surface-level only. by the time you're in your mid-twenties, the ND folks are now painfully aware of their social disabilities and consequently adopt a wide variety of coping mechanisms—whether that's just getting better at reading cues with time, social scripting, grouping up with similarly-divergent folks, strategic masking, or (more destructively) perpetual masking, collecting codependents, exploding when their rejection sensitivity is triggered, and/or accusing everyone of conspiring against them when they realize they once again are not well-liked by a new group.

the Terminal Insophisticate doesn't seem to do any of that shit. they've somehow floated through life being just close enough to normal that they don't leave a path of traumatically burned bridges behind them. nothing so obvious! they are just barely tolerable in conversation, which makes them a perfect candidate for friendships based on shared experience rather than shared intimacy, and likewise a good candidate for the kind of old-fashioned romantic relationship where you didn't actually have to be particularly good friends to work together as partners.

i know (and have moderated) a ton of people with neurodivergence-driven social handicaps, but i have no fucking clue what is "wrong" with the Terminal Insophisticate. best guess? they are just a bit dim.

in my many years of running online communities i have dealt with many near-identical representatives from respective species of idiot, loser and asshole and by far the worst person to have on your server is the primordially clueless unfunny guy who Means Well to the extent that you would feel bad for just banning them because they genuinely have something wrong with them that makes them insanely annoying. not a cognitive disability i mean just terminally unsophisticated. in all cases it is better to just have the forums-hardened shit-stirrer who can be banned unceremoniously. the meek and infuriating Naif is subject to months of discussion in the mod chat as we all try to weigh our sense of social responsibility against everyone being sick of this fucking guy

[abarbaricyalp]

@winterfalconevents

Prompt fill: Meddling Best Friend

Rated T: In this Modern AU fic, Steve has died before the beginning of the story due to complications from a life time of illnesses, Bucky Barnes is an amputee soldier, and Sam and Bucky volunteer in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome babies. There are references made by Steve, Sam, and Bucky to medical trauma, long term illnesses, and hospice care. Though passing (sometimes glib, sometimes serious), some of these remarks may be upsetting if you're sensitive to those topics. I have tried to only speak to medical things I or people in my life have experienced and done so in a way that I felt was respectful and honest to the situation and characters but please take care of yourself first and foremost. 

This is a holiday fic that is both lighthearted but deals with traumatized individuals. It can be quite heavy at times. But I'll give you a spoiler, it has a happy Hallmark ending.

13.8k words

Summary:  A year after Steve Rogers' death, Bucky Barnes gets a letter requesting he go to a specific coffeeshop at a specific time, where he promptly runs into Sam Wilson with his own letter. When they find another letter, they begin a scavenger hunt set up by Steve that sends them searching for storage units, hot chocolate, closure, and maybe even a little bit of Christmas magic in each other.

AO3 link in the notes

These Ghosts That Haunt Christmas

Leave it to Steve fucking Rogers to die two days after Thanksgiving and ruin the all of Bucky’s holidays for the rest of his life. A year later, back in New York for the first time since estate stuff had been worked out, his heart felt like an open wound and all of his favorite holiday foods and drinks were ash in his mouth. He hated this. He had loved Christmas more than any other time of the year and now he had panic attacks when he woke up and it was cold outside.

Moving to California had helped, but not much. Not when a letter had ended up on his doorstep written in Steve’s handwriting, urging him to New York. It wasn’t written in a way that necessarily suggested Steve knew Bucky would leave, but Bucky still couldn’t help but feel like he was being watched since the letter had found its way to him at his new address. That was impossible.

He supposed it actually wasn’t that impossible. He’d left a forwarding address and the letter was wrapped in a new envelope and really the scrawl on that envelope was probably just messy enough to be similar to Steve’s and his aching heart wanted to believe Steve was still around.

It was just a letter Steve had written before he died.

Buck,

I guess I’m not gonna know what it was that finally kicked my ass. Or, at least, I’m not gonna get to correct this letter with the right answer. I’m gonna guess it’s this half-heart I have, but I bet there’s good money on a lung issue too.

Sorry, this is morbid and probably cruel to you. It’s not really something I’ve ever had to think about too seriously--being the one who gets left behind. Do you remember freshman year when you got clocked in the face by that line drive up on the mound? You went down so fast and I just thought ‘no, I wasn’t supposed to be the one who survived.’ But you got up and I got sick a few weeks later and we stopped thinking about role reversal. Even when you went MIA, it never felt real. I always knew you’d come back.

Hey, you wanna know something that I think is funny and you’ll probably be pissed about? I’m writing this right next to you. It’s October, almost Halloween. You’re wearing socks with jack-o-lanterns on them. Your sister’s girl bought them for you. You’re sleeping on your hand, elbow balanced on the arm of the chair. It keeps slipping off and you jolt awake and curse and help me with the solitaire game I’m playing and then fall back asleep in the same position.

Buck, I love you so much.

I know we’ve been sayin’ it since we were kids, but if there’s one thing you remember about me, remember that. And if there’s a second thing--that I’m devastatingly handsome. Tell the world about the model it never got.

I don’t think I’ve got much more time. I’ve been sick so long I used to think I wouldn’t feel the end coming, but that’s not true. This is different. I ain’t gonna mention it to you and I’m gonna make sure all the nurses don’t tell you neither. You don’t need that. We’re gonna have the same amount of time together whether you know or not.

I wish we hadn’t lost so much time to what happened when you shipped out. Wish I hadn’t been so healthy while you were gone. Wish you hadn’t come back different. Wish I’d known how to help you put yourself back together. Have I mentioned I didn’t think I’d have to be the strong one? I guess that kind of makes me a bad friend but you always stuck around, huh? Even when we didn’t know what we were doing.

I know you’re gonna be hurting again. So I need you to do something for me. Remember we used to do that, after your discharge? I just gave you tasks and you had to get them done? Here’s a new game.

There’s a cafe a few blocks from the hospital. I know it’s the last place you wanna hang out, but go to the cafe the Monday before Christmas for breakfast. Say 8. Sit in the purple booth. That’s my favorite. On the good days, when I could make the walk with the trainers or nurses, I’d sit there and try to match watercolors until I got that shade. Order your favorite drink and food. They have a seasonal menu, so I guess I should send you in October so you can get those pumpkin and cream cheese danishes, but maybe they’ll still be there in November.

Talk to someone new.

That’s the game.

You have to talk to someone while you’re there. I think it’ll be obvious who it should be. I just have a good feeling. We made it through two decades on good feelings, right? Follow this last gut instinct of mine. I think you’ll find exactly who you’re supposed to talk to.

The midnight rounds are about to come through so I’m going to wrap this up before the nurse gossips my ear off. (I wonder if Paramedic Jack ever told Kelsey how he actually felt before he switched shifts.)

I love you, Buck,

Steve

Bucky had read it again and again when it came in and now he read it once more, standing outside the cafe, which was more of a bakery, and trying to convince himself to go inside. The snow picked up and the wind snaked under his coat, though, so he stepped inside. Who knew a few months in California could ruin a lifetime of New York in him?

He ordered a drink that was more chocolate than coffee and a plain cream cheese danish because there was no pumpkin and then looked around the cafe for the purple booth. He found one, but there was already someone tucked around a drink, studying the wooden table below him intently.

Well. Maybe that was the sign Steve meant for him to be looking for.

Bucky made his way over to the booth and set his drink down on the corner of the table before clearing his throat. “Hey do you mind if I--” He cut off as the lone drinker looked up at him. “Oh, no way,” he breathed.

“Oh, come on,” Sam Wison groaned. “Of all the places in New York? What’re you doing here?”

“I--” Bucky almost waved the letter around, but found he definitely did not want to share it with Sam Wilson.

Sam was one of the physical therapy trainers at the hospital. A part time job, since he was also a part time therapist at the VA and apparently still worked for the Air Force somehow. Bucky knew all of that because he’d been the therapist of Bucky’s assigned group therapy when he’d come back from overseas. And then it turned out he’d been Steve’s PT since the first stroke, since before Bucky had been back from his deployment. Bucky couldn’t get away from the guy, and he’d tried. He’d been removed from the group therapy in a truly spectacular fashion--nothing against Wilson at that point, really, but it was a nice bonus--but then he’d seen him at least twice a week at the hospital anyway. It didn’t help that Wilson had become attached to Steve’s side in Bucky’s absence, and after his return too as it turned out.

Steve was allowed to have other friends. Obviously. It’s just that Sam Wilson was handsome and funny and smart and knew what Steve had gone through while Bucky had been gone. And Bucky didn’t particularly feel like he could compete. He didn’t want to have to compete.

There were other things--things that if Bucky sat down and was honest with himself were actually positives and not negatives--like the fact that Wilson had never used kiddie gloves around him. Every other asshole between some desert and Brooklyn had either acted like Bucky was a live bomb or the man setting it off. Wilson hadn’t acted like anything. Bucky was just another guy to him. Which was jarring, but also probably good.

But he wasn’t looking for good, he was looking for a reason to stay away.

“Hello, Major Tom?” Wilson asked, waving his hand over the coffee cup lid Bucky was staring at.

“Do you still go running every morning?” Bucky asked stupidly instead of answering. Wilson was dressed in sweats, a thermal running shirt under the USAF hoodie he was wearing.

“Yeah, man. I still go running. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Figured you’re so old by now, they musta kicked you out of the Force.”

Wilson rolled his eyes. “It’s only been a year. And we’re still the same age.”

“I didn’t say we weren’t. I’m old too, man.”

“Yeah, you really look it. That haircut really isn’t working for you,” Sam agreed sarcastically. Then, with a weary sigh, he gestured to the other side of the booth. “Go ahead, sit down. I think I know what this is about.”

“You do?” Bucky asked but sat down anyway.

Sam produced a piece of paper from a pocket in his tights under his sweats. “Yeah, I’d be willing to bet that fancy left arm of yours that you’ve got a matching letter.”

[holocene-sims]

Here's a barrage of questions for Grant, my poor sweet boy:

Ballet Shoes, Cactus, Christmas Tree LOL, Sunflower, Mushroom, Books, Headphones, Beach With Umbrella, Convenience Store, Night With Stars, Ringed Planet, Bandage, Love Letter, Heart On Fire, Revolving Hearts

have fun <3

AHAHAHAHAHA i love this omg 😭 thanks for the ask, bestie!! ✨ well, i guess i better get started

🩰 ballet shoes: can they dance? do they enjoy dancing even if they're bad at it?

can he? oh yes. can he dance well? not really. he's down for dancing at a party or a wedding, but that doesn't mean he's good. not terrible but not great. especially when it comes to partner dancing or like slow dancing...it becomes a whole awkward ass ordeal because let's be real, you don't want to slow dance a man who's like a foot taller than you 💀

idk if i ever stated this before but i really headcanon grant being freakishly tall. we're talking 6'7" tall. it makes for VERY clumsy dancing

🌵 cactus: what are some reasons someone might not like them? what are their personality flaws?

i think most people generally tend to like grant, you know, he's a sweet and likable guy, but if they do dislike him, it kind of all boils down to him being incredibly sensitive (...and traumatized...)

he can be a bit...much, if that makes sense. he feels every emotion very, very deeply. it's a good thing and bad thing. if he's super happy, he might annoy you to death with how cheerful he acts. if he loves you, you're probably going to hear it more than you want to. if he's not doing so hot, he's not going to take it out on you because he completely internalizes negative feelings, but he's going to go to the polar opposite end of the spectrum and the negative emotions can spiral him out of control

he's also very independent. it annoys people because you'll offer to help, like "oh hey, you're moving in next week? let me help you out," and he WON'T let you do it. he won't let anybody interfere in anything he's doing personally (we're excluding work-related scenarios) unless he's just destitute and desperate. you end up feeling like he's shutting you out or treating you like you aren't helpful in return when he's the FIRST person to offer YOU help when you need it...but really he's just terrified of asking for help and accepting it out of fear of being incompetent and useless. but this doesn't mean it's not a flaw of his, though

🎄 christmas tree: do they celebrate any holidays? how do they feel about holidays in general?

he does celebrate thanksgiving and christmas! "minor" holidays as well like new years and st. patrick's day (although...let's be real, for his family, this is NOT a minor holiday.) he has sort of mixed feelings about the holidays. he loves the celebration with his grandparents, aunts and uncles, and all his cousins. he adores his family and the social aspects of the holidays

BUT his holiday memories are often cemented in the days before his shitty mother (and at the time, also his dad) were excommunicated from the entire family. he likes the holidays now, but any holiday prior to, like, 2013 was awful. his mother always managed to come up with a new way to ruin the holidays every year

🌻 sunflower: do people generally tend to like them? what personality traits do they have that draw others in?

i would definitely agree that people generally tend to like him! he's very caring, reliable, helpful, sweet, and he's often very funny. people describe him as being "fun" or "like a giant teddy bear." he might be introverted, but he can strike up a conversation with anybody, and he has a way of making you feel comfortable. and you know if you need somebody or need help, you can count on him being the first person to lend a hand and you know he's never going to judge you

🍄 mushroom: would they ever experiment with psychedelics? how would it affect them?

oh boy...he's done a lot of experimenting and with a whole lot more (and worse) stuff than psychedelics 😬

buddy was doing some serious self-medicating in college ❄️❄️❄️

the sweet, giant, cuddly teddy bear you all know and love has done some WILD shit, let's just say that

📚 books: do they like to read? what kind of books do they like?

i would say that he doesn't read all that often. he's more of a video game/movie/TV show kind of guy. but i will say his comfort/favorite books are carl sagan's books 🚀 he does re-read those often just for fun

🎧 headphones: do they like listening to music? do they prefer going to live shows or listening to stuff prerecorded? do they make playlists?

music is absolutely his thing. he listens to music almost all the time when he's alone, and he has a playlist for EVERYTHING. sometimes the songs overlap but oh well. he has a driving playlist, a playlist for the gym, a playlist for just hanging out alone, playlists for different moods, playlists for parties, a playlist of all the irish language music his grandparents listened to so he can feel home again...

but tbh he's not a big concert guy. he feels very much like live music and shows get in the way of his own vibes. he just wants to chill and listen to music, not have a performance done for him that tells him how to feel and what to do

🏖️ beach with umbrella: what do they like to do while on vacation?

usually just chill or do some outdoors stuff, hiking or looking at scenery or walking around in downtown areas. he does like the beach but he's incredibly uncomfortable with wearing swimwear, so he feels awkward. other than that, definitely trying new foods is at the top of his list as well. he's not a picky eater, so he will eat literally anything and he both likes food and cooking, so it's a fun activity

🏪 convenience store: what would be their go-to convenience store snacks?

i meannnn the classic for him has got to be like a faygo, probably blueberry, and some sort of chips, probably like barbecue chips. m&ms are also a great convenience store snack

🌃 night with stars: do they like the night life? do they go clubbing or to bars?

he does and doesn't! with good friends or a good group to hang out with, most night life is fun, but you won't catch him dead in a club. just WAY too much going on for him. but a bar or a pub, definitely. he's down to hang out at a bar and just drink for a bit and chat, play some bar games

🪐 ringed planet: how do they feel about space? does it inspire them or make them feel lonely?

you have some insider knowledge to this question 😉 but no, space doesn't make him feel lonely at all. space is usually very comforting to him. also inspiring but he's currently getting his masters in astronomy and studied it in undergrad, so he sort of has to be inspired be it

🩹 bandage: what do they do when they’re sick or injured?

here i go writing about the effects of grant having a traumatic childhood...the body keeps the score, doesn't it?

at this point, he doesn't do anything, he keeps going. it used to be where he felt like he could afford the time to take care of himself when he's not well, but these days...no, he just keeps trucking. he feels like he has to because if he stopped and rested every day he felt less than stellar, it'd be every day. he has to live with how the body breaks down when it's under stress for too long, and this is his way of dealing with it

i'm not saying his logic is good but it's how he feels. he's especially stubborn about it after the fact that being treated finally for chronic pain lead him to be forced out of his previous job. it's another instance, to him, of "lost time" and that stresses him out

💌 love letter: how do they like expressing their love? do they like to be straightforward or are they more romantic?

he's very much both. i said before in another question that he's always overt about love. sometimes that's "hey, i made you coffee and your favorite food, enjoy!" and sometimes that's some really lovely romantic gesture.

in terms of the love languages theory, it's all about quality time and words of affirmation for him. he likes to make himself available and to have a lot of deep, meaningful experiences with his partner, but he also loves to just say i love you or tell them all the things he loves about them. he's a softie. also he's kind of touchy-feely. not in public but like at home, for sure

❤️‍🔥 heart on fire: what really gets them going? what’s their favorite thing for a significant other to do?

idk how to answer this at all because i am but a naive, innocent lass. however, i do feel like a good way to get THAT response from him is just for the partner to sit on his lap lmfaooooo. he's very much a thiccc thighs save lives dude 👀

but favorite thing for a partner to do? honestly he's such a softie that anything wins him over. you can just say, "hey, you look nice today," and he acts like it's the world's best compliment 😭 but really any form of words of affirmation does the trick, same as remembering his favorite things or tiny details about him

💞 revolving hearts: do they have a best friend? what’s their relationship like?

grant spent a ton of time growing up with his many cousins, so if you ask him about his besties, it's just a list of every person he's related to in his generation LMAO. and with his family, it's constant goofing off and shenanigans. his family are loud as FUCK at all times. and there is always some board game, card game, cards against humanity or something or other going on. it's always something with the cousins

(although admittedly, even though he's super close with everyone, his strongest/most impactful friendships are with his female cousins, especially my lovely queens, chelsea and shannon!! 💘 personality wise grant and his female cousins all match up really well)

outside of his family, his best friend is his childhood best friend, henry. they've known each other forever, they met on some random saturday at a park on the swingset, and they're still friends today. they have a much more chill, relaxed relationship. they're like "wanna go to dinner/a bar" kind of friends, and then they chat for hours and hours at a time, at which point they'll go hang out at one of their houses and play video games or watch some movies

(guess what? emotionally available, mutual male friendships are good!)

[ghost0loxer]

Imagine, a gender fluid teenager like myself has a favourite/feel-good film and that film is “Just One of the Guys,”from the mid 80s.

Picture this: theatre class, we watch “She’s The Man”, a dreamworks film from the 2000s. And yet, the social justice issues within the film are glaringly obvious to today’s society. Don’t get me wrong, it can be a funny film in a group setting - but then there are scenes that are just uncomfortable. Now, we discussed these themes in class, but I just can’t help but think about the film that came before it. Yes, StM (she’s the mans) is a modern day adaption of Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” but I was thinking about the modern day adaption before StM, “Just One of the Guys” from the mid 80s.

I love this film. For multiple reasons, which I hope to discuss.

Number one, our main character. Terry Griffith is stubborn. If she thinks something is right, she won’t let anyone say no or get in her way. Now in some cases, this is great. It’s definitely a shift in the usual romantic comedy female lead (especially for the 80s). But it’s one of her biggest flaws. In the beginning, Terry doesn’t win a contest for a part-time job at the Sun Tribune. She believes her article was amazing, but she speaks with her English teacher and he gives it to her straight. “You don’t have what it takes to be a reporter.” Her article is boring; it’s about the nutritional value of the lunch menu in the school cafeteria, of course it’s boring. But the words her teacher tells her has her convinced it’s because she’s a woman. Thus, she leaves school for two weeks and transfers as a buy to another school who are holding the same competition. Once she gives her article, she is told almost the same thing, but this time, she’s given proper feedback to improve it. Of course, there was some irony with this scene between Terry and the teacher. “Just because you’re guy, doesn’t mean you can’t be sensitive or light.” Thing is, she doesn’t give up, she strives to fix it and finds a new angle. I love her determination, I love the way she doesn’t let others push her around. Furthermore, her transition to a man. In StM, Viola as a guy is made to be cringey and comedic, you watch and think, there’s no way a guy would do that. But Terry, having grown up with a younger brother and is actually smart, manages to nail the role. Sure, she has slip-ups, but she stays afloat and she’s not being over the top. She’s chill and convincing, yet you as the audience can tell she’s trying to appear masculine. Her lines are witty and she’s sharp. Someone has something to say, she’ll be able to backtrack and answer with a joke or sarcasm quickly. I like smart characters.

Another point, the way women are written in this film. A lot of women in this film are treated like shit, but it’s probably a realistic depiction of the 80s. Everyone is talking about dating and sex, it seems to be the only topic the women in this film speak about, unless they are Terry. Terry seems to be the only character in this film whose main goal is not romance or sex. She strives to be a reporter, she wants to prove herself, and she rejects the advances upon her frequently. Whether it’s the boys asking her on dates in halls, or her own boyfriend attempting to seduce her when her parents aren’t home, she doesn’t put them above herself, yet she still lets them down easily, unless they become more pushy (case in point, her boyfriend, Kevin, in the beginning). She can stand up for herself, but she’s not the only one. Her best friend, Denise is one of the many women looking for love, nevertheless, she holds standards. I will admit, I didn’t like Denise’s acting in the beginning; she’s not a great character, but even she manages to reject men’s advances constantly. She’s not afraid to say it bluntly and she expresses her true emotions when certain guys try to ask her out. She tells it to them straight, and I respect her for that (despite her lack of empathy for some). Terry’s brother is constantly hitting on Denise, but she stands her ground. She doesn’t hit him or curse him out, she spins words around him and always lead back to the key word “no.”

This is my third, and maybe final point, (because I’m not great at writing but I’m starting to get tired) the way they handle sexual orientation. It seems if you’re going to make a film about a cross-dressing woman who falls in love with a man, you have to discuss sexuality and this film is not afraid to. That was my biggest beef with StM, when Viola confessed her love to Duke, the made it blatantly clear that it was “weird” and “unusual”; the editing and music cuts. It was done for comedic purposes, but in that moment, it just made me cringe. Even when the principal marched onto the field during the big match to expose Sebastian as “the woman he was all along,” he used a big megaphone and said to the whole crowd this man is in fact a girl. If it were to happen in the real world, and this character was a trans male, that would be traumatizing and so so insensitive. I couldn’t help thinking the way they handled the reveal in StM was poor and shitty.

But with JOotG (just one of the guys)? It’s done respectfully. Throughout the film, Buddy, Terry’s younger, sex-obsessed brother (I have thoughts on this character), often refers to Terry as a transvestite or sexually confused. They make references about her dating other women and jokes. It’s not treated like taboo, but just something people normally talk about, and as a questioning kid when I first watched the film, I really needed that. Although it was used for jokes, the fact that it wasn’t treated like a silent topic made me think more of it and discover who I was; it was media like this that made me accept myself.

Even with the reveal. Kevin, Terry’s boyfriend (or ex boyfriend by the end), stomps up to Terry after she’s wrestled with the school bully and was dumped into the waves at prom. Rick, who’s been Terry’s friend (and is the male lead) throughout her time at his high school, immediately questions who Kevin is and he responds with a harsh and sure “Terry’s boyfriend.” Of course, that doesn’t expose Terry as female, but makes Rick assume she’s a homosexual. But instead of calling her weird or replying negatively, he answers Kevin’s question calmly and says he’s just a friend. There is no prejudice, no disgust, Rick is shocked, but that’s expected. Furthermore, this reveal not only does not alienate homosexuality, it puts the center of focus on the main characters rather than have the whole audience/prom witness this exchange. Sure, the rest of the school is watching but the camera never pans over to them, and even then, Terry drags Rick away from the crowds to a secluded area to explain more.

Even once they’re secluded, Rick doesn’t yell at her or is homophobic. He just says “I understand, you’re gay.” As we know, Terry is not in fact gay and she reveals this to him in a similar fashion as StM, at least it’s not flashing a whole crowd. But the thing that hits me, is the fact that it’s not used as a joke or for comedy. Throughout the film, they’ve mentioned homosexuality and being transgender, but it was used as a light-hearted joke (nothing insulting or derogatory). In this moment, it’s not a joke, and it’s the bare minimum for a emotional scene like this, but it always hits me.

Of course, Rick gets justifiably mad that he’s been deceived and he storms off. Terry’s flaw catches up to her here, as she kisses him in front of the prom guests, stubborn to make him realize how much she cares. ( I didn’t agree with this action to be frank, I cringed ). The crowd gasps and it’s the usual reaction to a homosexual kiss and Rick just pulls back, says “It’s alright everyone, he’s got tits,” and leaves with Deborah.

In true romantic comedy fashion, life moves on. Terry gets the job at the Sun-Tribune after writing her article about posing as a guy and everyone who was longing for love in the beginning has found it, except Terry. The ending, however, is Rick coming back for her after a couple (days? Weeks? Idk all I know is it’s summer by the time he comes back, how much space between prom and summer?) and they kiss, go on a date and all is good.

Now after writing this long ass post, I’ve come to realize the main reason I like this film. Sure, Terry is a good character (not morally sometimes, but she’s interesting to watch), the way women are presented also is good, but my main source of affection for this film (in comparison to StM) is the way they handle the switching of genders. I’m gender fluid, I don’t always like being a woman or a man, I switch almost daily and half the time can’t decide if I want to grow out my hair or cut it. Seeing Terry, originally a woman, manage to convince people she was a guy made me wish I could do it too. It made me realize, I don’t always like being a woman. I want to be a guy sometimes, and I want that to be accepted. It was media like this, like Ouran High School Host Club, like Bare: A Pop Opera, that made me understand my gender and sexuality. (Even media that didn’t have any relation to LGBTQ+ helped).

When I first heard of “She’s the Man”, I had hoped it would be like these pieces of media. And it wasn’t. It was an alright film, but made me feel disappointed and somewhat let down. And that’s why I just prefer Just One of the Guys. Maybe it wouldn’t float in today’s political climate, maybe I’m wrong for seeing these points as reasons it’s one of my favorites, but its still better than StM and is one of my favourite films.

[ichitora]

「 Birth 」

:: Because this day is not only about his birthday

» with Chifuyu Matsuno and Toman founding members

《Content Warning - Canon divergent - AU, third POV, Comfort, just characters interacting with each other, platonic relationship, tr dvd booklet 1 minor spoilers》

【 notes - Happy birthday to my one and only, Kazutora! 】

The traffic light turned red.

The road was heavily busy for an unknown reason to which Kazutora paid no heed. His eyes were on the vehicle before them. A classical music played, filling the silence of what seemed to be an empty shell of a car and somehow isolating them to the noisy businesses that surrounded them. It didn’t disturbed him. Not when it’s his friend, Chifuyu who’s maneuvering, eyes stuck on the road as well.

A smoke made its appearance not too far from them, probably just a few cars away. It looked raging mad by the way its darkness occupies the sky. Kazutora raised his eyebrows.

“Huh? What was that?” Chifuyu mumbled under his breath. He propped his arm on the door and leaned his head on his fist. Kazutora did the same on the opposite side, hoping to take a glimpse of what’s going on outside.

“Damn these kids!” They overheard an annoyed old man on the neighboring vehicle. It was so loud that not even the music could cover it. Kazutora tilted his head more.

It was a small car on fire. Barely recognizable as the firemen did their best to put it off. The only thing that’s left was its bones, scrap materials no one would use.

So, that’s why the traffic became heavier.

Kazutora tucked his yellow side bangs on his ear, smirking as he squinted his eyes for a bit.

“What a lame ass.” Another person said, neither Chifuyu nor Kazutora made an effort to respond. Kazutora glanced at Chifuyu, watching the raven haired man with a tiny smile on his lips. For that moment it was as if they shared one brain cell. One brain cell that provides a huge impact straight down to their hearts.

It was some kids’ doing they say?

Of course, it only reminds them of a certain person.

Both of them didn’t have the guts to bring it up though. Their heads are connected under one idea, yet they prefer to keep it to themselves, putting it as a way of telepathic communication. It didn’t have to be talked about.

It wasn’t as if it’s a sensitive subject for Kazutora and Chifuyu, in fact the memories of the past with 𝘩𝘪𝘮 stood to be the teas they share when they have nothing else to do in the pet shop.

And how funny it could be that 𝘩𝘦 is the reason why both of them are settled in the car at the moment.

It didn’t take too long before they arrived, taking the items they brought with them until they halted in a specific family grave.

Now, the air feels like chunks of solids that are heavy to breathe on. The wind passed by from time to time, the leaves reminding them to remain reverent within their stay. Chifuyu sat like what he usually does, not minding his slacks attracting some dirt. He took a few foods out of the plastic bag, not missing the iconic peyoung yakisoba he and Baji used to share. Alongside it was a small cake and a few cans of drinks.

Kazutora, with his hair resting on his nape and shoulders, followed, going down like a frog to take another yakisoba with him. His eyes scanned the engraved characters on the marbled tombstone that didn’t look like one to him. For him, the characters before his eyes just morphed into a person he also had been longing to see for a long time.

Oh lord, he wanted to hug him so bad.

If the deities would grant him permission to see and embrace him again, he will not hesitate to do so and not let go.

“Oi, Baji.” He greeted. Chifuyu said nothing, preparing to split the yakisoba to offer it to Baji. Kazutora was certain he had something to say. He has thought of it multiple times on their way here as if he’s memorizing a script, however the way his heart clenches made him lose all the words he knew. “I...”

“... I saw a car on fire a while back.” That caught Chifuyu’s attention. He gazed at Kazutora. The wind blows, allowing him to see how his sandy eyes shone upon his words.

Within Kazutora’s smile, it reminded him of the first best birthday he ever had in his entire childhood. The memory that stayed with him after his brain forced to control, alt, delete the existence of his traumatic past.

The vehicle was burning so bright in their eyes. Just the same way it ignited their friendship the same day. Before Kazutora could even gather himself, he already had a friend who would dedicate himself to stay by his side.

September 16. It wasn’t a bad day at all, he just got the best gift he would treasure to this very day.

It aches.

Time flies as some would say, but the memories don't. The memories that can contain different emotions every second just stays. It knows how to keep up.

The longer Kazutora envisions Baji sitting in front of them, the more he wanted to tear up.

But he can’t.

His tears are too shy to show their existence. He does not intend this day to go down like that.

“I’d always share my birthday with you, you know that.” Kazutora’s voice almost wavered. Chifuyu bit his lower lip, looking down. There weren’t many words, yet the feeling felt too overwhelming to take in, it naturally oozes out from them without them knowing.

Kazutora sighed. His heart feels like it's dropping every second. He’s breathing under the water and every inhale stings.

“We used to eat peyoung yakisoba together,” Kazutora whispered, just enough for Chifuyu to hear. “One for you, and one for me.” His hand was trembling a bit as he opened the food. “But I guess this time you have to split it with this dude beside me, huh.”

Chifuyu smirked. He raised his noodle like a glass of wine. “Happy birthday.”

The containers collide. “Cheers.”

Perhaps it wasn’t just his birthday the two of them are celebrating.

Kazutora would rather like to put it as the birth of his and Baji’s precious friendship.

“Baji and I exchanged punches the very first time we met,” Kazutora stated just a little while as he and Chifuyu alternatively told Baji some stories of how their lives went. The grave stood there like a diary, both hoping for their words to reach the deceased wherever he will be. There then the older lad tilted his head, emitting a jingling sound from his earring. “He pierced my ear the same day.”

—

Chifuyu chuckled. “Well, that’s Baji-san for you.” He smiled. “I remember Mikey-kun telling me a story one time where Baji-san used to name himself Edward while he was named Michael— Mikey for short, just when they were still kids.”

Kazutora stood in disbelief. He beamed, averting his eyes to the Baji family grave. “Really? What a lame-ass. I never have heard of that.”

“I couldn’t believe it as well. I tried imagining myself calling him Edward-san instead of Baji and I just couldn’t take it seriously from there.”

They snickered.

“Edward,” Kazutora mumbled, both of them laughing again. “Who the fuck would name themselves as Edward?”

“You know, if Baji-san hears us right now he’ll be annoyed.”

“Oh, what is he gonna do? Rise from his grave? Because if the answer is yes then I wouldn’t stop calling him Edward.”

It was a simple conversation, yet it lifted up some of the unspoken woes they do their best to keep within themselves. It became like this. It was as if Baji was just with them. This place had become their comfort zone that they are a few steps away from committing weird shit right in front of his innocent tombstone.

Kazutora sighed, their chuckles fading out. He placed his hands in his pockets. “... Mikey.”

He didn’t know why the name slipped out of his mouth, hence the name also brings him back some memories, rather reminding him of one of the reasons why things have ended up like this.

And as if he was a summoning expert, he felt a presence on his back.

Kazutora didn’t move.

Chifuyu’s eyes widened for a split second with the newly arrived person’s appearance, still in his casual black tees and checkered coat, paired with black pants. His hair that is as dark as night, danced to the chilly breeze of the wind.

The light atmosphere they built up had been adulterated. None of them said a word. Kazutora didn’t have to look back at who it was. Just the aura was enough to be aware of who’s with them without a doubt.

Mikey stood with hands in a praying position, shutting his eyes with his silent prayers for a few moments before straightening his posture. All of them were like statues, waiting for someone to try to break the silence. The yellow-eyed lad breathed slowly, feeling his heart slowing down in heartbeat.

Manjiro Sano.

Kazutora wouldn’t deny how awkward they are currently. Mikey forgave him and they ended on good terms. yet the graze in their friendship can no longer be mended. They’re now left as two individuals who pay respect to each other, without resentment and without regret as to how they want to put it.

“I—“

“It’s been a while, Baji,” Mikey said. His voice never ceased to strangle Kazutora in his words while Chifuyu was just there, paying witness to what can unfold next. “I hope you’re happy.”

Kazutora smiled. A genuine one. “... He is.”

Chifuyu, Kazutora, Mikey— seeing the three of them together all fine with each other would surely give relief to Baji wherever he may be, that’s what Kazutora would like to think. At least that thought comforts the weight he always carry with him since the beginning.

He didn’t die in vain.

They all looked at the grave with their sincere eyes, as if it was telling Baji that he could always be at peace. It was mixed with emotions of missing a loved one with a glint of happiness no word can describe. It felt like a story ending where one way or another they have to bid their farewell and go on.

“The others... they’re waiting.”

Chifuyu and Kazutora glanced at him, faces painted with confusion. There then they noticed a group of people not too far away from them. The latter’s doe eyes thought he was looking at something unreal, chest rose and fell— puzzled. The edges of his lips stretched involuntarily all the way towards his ears. He couldn’t believe he’d be seeing them all at once today. Not when he hadn't seen them together for years.

Pah chin, Draken, Mitsuya—

It’s the rest of the Toman founding members.

What he heard next was another surprise.

𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘺…

“Kazutora, happy birthday.”

Thus, the rest of the day was Chifuyu tagging along with Tokyo Manji Gang’s founding members for Kazutora’s birthday that also served as a small, unexpected reunion.

“I already ordered some food on UberEats. Thank you very much, Kazutora!”

The gang cackled.

“O-oi! Mikey— I didn’t even bring my wallet! Chifuyu!”

“Doesn’t sound like a me-problem at all. That’s on you, you bastard.”

“Don’t worry too much, Kazutora. Pah Chin got us!” says Mitsuya in his gentle voice.

“Oi, why am I even dragged into this?!”

Perhaps, Kazutora's day could still get better without him knowing.

[slasherscream]

Reader gets stood up at prom ghostface boys to the rescue

(A/N): oh prom was my nightmare so this was so self indulgent to think about thanks fam

They were getting around to asking you they fucking swear on god and they were ....enraged would be putting it lightly, when some random fucking loser asked you before they could.

Listen they were just trying to take it slow to go easy on you. Like slowly heating up the water around a frog instead of dropping them into boiling water to begin with. 

You're out here thinking you've got #the two best friends in the world meanwhile they're trying to make a teenage spouse out of you but the best laid plans of dumb teenage boys often go awry. 

Even though it's totally fine to do so (and the norm for you) you were feeling strange about asking if you could be a tag-a-long for them for prom night of all things.

Them including you on all their date nights and hang-outs are one thing but being a third wheel for the most romantic/cutesy night for teenagers is something you cannot fucking parse.

You had even started secretly thinking of staying home alone that night, which you know everyone in your life would've been strongly against but what're they gonna do? Throw you into a fancy tux/dress and force you to go? 

But then a classmate asked you! Sure it wasn't particularly romantic and you didn't know each other well but they weren't the worst person in the world and they offered to buy your ticket for you and match with your color      so at least you'll be going without feeling like an interloper. 

You rush to tell the boys even though some part of you feels...bummed out you're not going with them but they're a couple and you're all best friends and you know you'll still spend time with them that night so it's fine! Everything's fine! Everything is perfect.

So yes they almost nutted the fuck up when you told them. The look on Stu's face....Billy had to hit him when you weren't looking so he could fix his face by the time you glanced over at him with that cute, excited look of expectancy. 

"That's great, Y/N!" Stu would say, trying to make his smile look as normal as possible. "Who asked you?" Billy would say, grinding his teeth to fucking dust in his mouth and already planning on murdering them brutally. 

It's only when they're alone and planning the murder do they realize they can't do that to you. You got asked to prom and how would you feel if your date happens to become a ghostface victim! They know you...you're so sweet and nice that even though you didn't particularly like the person you'd be staying home for the evening crying and sad. At the very least you'd take it as a "sign" and stay in for the night, if they were lucky.

Despite being the most possessive boys in the world they don't want you looking back at a night that could be special and magical with only the traumatic memory of a dead date. Romance really is real!

So they didn’t kill the lucky bastard who asked you even though they are so upset and bummed out. Stu mopes for the whole week leading up to the day and Billy is a special kind of grumpy asshole. 

But they get to do little prom prep things with you that you probably wouldn't have let them do with you if you were their date for the night and it's cute and montage-y even though they're still really upset. 

Helping you pick out a dress/tux/look and being your hype-men! You step out of the dressing room with something Stu picked for you (fashion icon) and he screams! Billy staring at you w/ eyes that are soft and he couldn't wipe the look off his face if he tried. Deciding your makeup/hair/look for the night with them and they lowkey do everything to match you/look good with you.

Fuck your date, man! They are your date in name only. When you look back at this night they're making 100% you'll only remember them. This is gonna be a funny story you tell your fucking kids together. They wanna throw up whenever you ruin the illusion by asking "Do you think (random ass name) will like this?" Shut up!! Stu will begin to cry he's sensitive. 

You will not be walking out of any store having paid for your own shit that week. Stu insists! He's your 18 year old (unfortunately platonic) sugar daddy. Billy never let's Stu spoil him so you have to deal with Stu's love language, which is gifts, all by yourself you poor baby. 

You're all gonna get ready at your house and you will experience soft moments such as Billy helping you with your hair with the utmost gentleness and making eye contact in the mirror. Or Stu wanting to put your lipstick on and doing a frankly fantastic job but the unbearable tension as he's touching your lip? My dude....

You try to shy out of some of the "leaving the house" pictures so the happy couple can get some alone but all your squirming just winds up with you trapped in-between them and both of them kissing your cheek at the same time. 

Your date elected to not pick you up but meet at the location which made them so fucking angry but at least this way they get more time with you. Your dates on thin fucking ice though since the boys would've done everything to make the night romantic for you ...they are Big Mad. 

You get there and you're looking around for your date and for the longest time can't find them and they're not answering your texts. You're getting nervous but the boys are mostly distracting you while sharing concerned looks over your head. 

Their fears are confirmed when they catch your date making out with their ex and they can't steer you away from them fast enough so you don't notice. Your date has the decency to apologize and look sorry that they did this but you can't work yourself up to being really mad since you didn't really like them anyway. It's just the energy of this happening to you at prom. 

They never knew you could run that fast honestly....

"Y/N? Baby? Are you in here?" The sound of the bathroom door opening immediately followed by the most gentle voice you'd ever heard Stu use in his life. 

You have half a mind to be quiet so that they'll go away and forget their loser best friend and actually have a decent prom night together but you know they'd just waste their whole night looking for you if they couldn't find you. "Yeah ... I'm in here." You sigh, holding your head in your heads. 

A knock on the door and then you hear Billy, "Please come out, sweetheart."

"I'd rather not." 

"Y/N..." Stu trails off not knowing what to say and shooting Billy a panicked look. Before either of them can figure out what to do you speak up again.

"Please go out and enjoy yourselves. You don't have to spend your night coddling me. I'm not the first person to get ditched at prom. I'll survive. It's stupid anyways." 

"It's okay to be upset, Y/N," Billy interjects, what he really wants to do is go kill your date and their dumb ex. Is there anything worse than an on-again-off-again couple? He's already imagining the fun he and Stu will have carving the two up but first they have to make their baby feel better. 

"That was a total dick move of them!" Stu says, trying not to get worked up but failing. "I'll go kick their ass for you right now."

This at least makes you laugh, "No        don't kick their ass. They don't deserve it." 

"Like hell they don't." Billy grunts, "They upset you."

"They got back together with someone they actually liked. I can't hate them for that. We barely knew each other. I just didn't want to come alone and I didn't wanna be your puppy dog tag-a-long the whole night."

This gets immediate reactions.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Billy demands.

"Y/N I'm gonna crawl on the disgusting bathroom floor and come join you in there if you don't open the door right now." Stu says.

After a second of pause where you debate how serious he is (deadly) and then take into account his lack of impulse control you unlock the door and allow it to swing open, "Don't do that. We'd have to burn the tux and you look really good in it." 

You're instantly swept up into two different sets of arm and have to admit you do feel a little better instantly. They have that effect on you. It's a comfort that they're staring at you with affection and concern and not pity. It makes you feel a little less pathetic. You still duck your head into Stu's chest and are allowed this and a moment of silence before Billy grabs you by the chin and makes you look up at them. 

"You're not a fucking tag-a-long and that loser out there was lucky you said yes in the first place." 

"Yeah baby! We woulda loved to have you all to ourselves tonight."

You laugh in a way that's heavy with self-deprecation, "You guys are sweet. That's why you deserve to have one night together that's just you. Especially prom night of all things. Don't you guys ever get tired of me always trailing after you? Don't you ever want a break?" 

They make eye contact and convey some secret message between them that makes you roll your eyes but then Billy's hand moves from your chin to hold your cheek and you freeze up. Stu leans down into Billy and grins at you from over his boyfriend's shoulder as if you're the most adorable thing he's ever seen. 

"You're not our third wheel, babe       we're a pyramid!" Stu chirps.

"Wha-?"

"We were gonna ask you to prom." Billy's thumb begins to rub tender circles along your cheek and you open your mouth to say...anything but he keeps talking, "But jackass out there beat us to it."

"Really?" You ask quietly and Billy bumps his forehead gently against yours, smiling at your shocked expression.

"Really."

"We're crazy about you, babe!" 

"You sure you're not just trying to make me feel better? I promise I'm not gonna fall apart on you or anything." It doesn't come out like a joke as you'd intended and you'd wince at how hopeful and nervous you'd sounded but Billy's lips cover yours. You'd always wondered how it felt to kiss either of them, always having to force your eyes away from them when they often kissed each other. It's a lot like how you imagined, his lips firm and warm against yours and him with total control over the moment in a way that makes your knees weak.

When he finally pulls away you can't bring your eyes to open even when they both chuckle at you. It's Stu leaning forward to playfully nip at your bottom lip that brings you out of the daze and you lean forward to peck him before he can move away. He hums against your lips and you smile into the kiss, playful and sweet. 

"Believe us now?" Stu asks when he pulls away, giving your hair a light tug.

"I might....if you guys dance with me. I think I hear my favorite song."

"Well then-" Billy smirks, pulling away from you but grabbing your hand and Stu's, leading you out the bathroom and back towards the dance, "We gotta go take our girl/boy to dance, Stu."

[anexplanationofunfortunateevents]

BUT HIS [SON’S] [IRRELEVANT AND PROBABLY FAKE] EMAILS!

In a world where people were trying to do their jobs, this story would not make sense to anyone, now or ever. But because we live in the dumbest fucking timeline, you need to know the shape of the Trump cartel’s latest disinformation campaign against the American democratic process.

Former Vice President Biden is being attacked through his family, which means that his family’s story is the vital context here. Back in the ‘70s, when he was Senator-Elect Biden, his family was in a terrible car crash. His first wife and their young daughter were killed. His sons Beau and Hunter survived, though Hunter suffered a traumatic head injury. The boys went about 80% Parent Trap to convince their dad to marry his current wife Jill, and both grew up and went to law school. Beau became the attorney general of Delaware before dying of cancer in 2015. Hunter went on to a lucrative career in the private sector despite an intermittent struggle with substance abuse, which is a common aftereffect of psychological trauma and brain injuries.

Republicans generally believe that being a Yale Law grad with a wealthy father and a history of substance abuse qualifies someone for the Supreme Court, but for some deeply principled and intellectually honest reason, they have decided that Hunter Biden’s employment in the field of transportation and energy can only be a sign of spectacular corruption. So nefarious and sinister was the Biden family’s treachery that they managed to destroy every iota of evidence before multiple investigations by Senate Republicans could find any of it!

Obviously this little tabloid narrative was derailed when Trump went and got his dumb ass impeached over it. But it’s the middle of October, Trump’s down ten points in the polls, and he made the mistake of replacing the wildly unethical FBI director who threw the last election for him with a guy who at least knows to act professional, so he’s looking for a Hail Mary pass. In the wackiest of coincidences, some random Trumper had what he says might be Hunter Biden’s various hard drives, one of which apparently contained a backup of his most sensitive videos and text messages, in his computer repair shop. Of course this man did the only sensible thing and, uh, copied every file in the drives one at a time before bringing it to Trump’s TV lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, and then the FBI. Giuliani, who was a former federal prosecutor before becoming the former mayor of New York City and current new bestie of Random Tech Store Guy, handled this situation with the assistance of someone who has a mere “50/50 chance” of being a Russian agent. (Poor old Rudy does appear to have limited communication skills beyond his personal safe space of a noun, a verb, and 9/11.) It’s unclear to me whether Giuliani or Tech Store Guy was the one who shared the hard drives with Steve Bannon, the white supremacist propagandist and former Trump campaign manager who is currently under indictment for fraud.

As with a lot of Trump trash, it’s impossible to describe without sounding like you’re exaggerating for comedic effect, but the stakes are too high for any of it to be funny. 

Over the weekend, a right wing tabloid published what it said were emails from one of Hunter’s laptops. (Reporters at that particular tabloid do not believe the story.) The emails don’t show any wrongdoing by the vice president and seem fake for a lot of reasons – but never mind, the bullshit laundering worked well enough to get some supposed actual reporter to harass Vice President Biden about it, and then a bunch of other supposed actual reporters to collapse into their fainting couches when Biden responded with appropriate impatience.

That apparently didn’t have the hoped-for effect. The next day, what appeared to be a series of highly emotional text exchanges between the vice president and his son appeared. There was nothing even vaguely scandalous in these, to a point where it’s not immediately obvious why anyone would bother publishing them. My best guess is that it’s meant to throw Biden off his stride by trying to hurt and humiliate his son, though it may also be an attempt to soften the ground for an even more theatrical reveal.

A lot of Very Serious Politics-Knowers have deluded themselves that the But Her Emails debacle of 2016 was the legitimate kernel of a story that was “blown out of proportion.” But Her Emails was about people a) having some degree of misogyny, conscious or unconscious, which led to a bias against Clinton and b) wanting to tell other people and/or themselves that it wasn’t because she was a woman. They understand that the But Her Emails-ing was a) enormously consequential and b) incredibly dumb. They don’t want to think too hard about that tension, because if they did, they’d have to take responsibility for how the dumb thing became so consequential.

Meanwhile, Trump campaign insiders know better than the rest of us how much they cheated in 2016, but they’re still people and therefore susceptible to the cognitive bias that they got what they wanted because they earned it somehow. The closest thing they had to an above-board strategy was yelling “emails!!” a lot, so they expect yelling “emails!!” to be successful again. They’re just desperately throwing pasta to see what sticks – but Joe Biden is a man, so they’re throwing it at the theory of relativity instead of the refrigerator door.

There are differences between 2020 and 2016 which are significantly less depressing. Trump’s co-conspirators are resorting to ridiculous methods because so many of the key players who made the 2016 operation work are actually facing punishment for some of their crimes. Paul Manafort is under house arrest. Wikileaks guy Julian Assange is in jail.  Social media companies, especially Twitter, were prepared to slam the brakes. Some mainstream reporters have refused to learn their lesson from 2016, but others were prepared to be critical. And, I cannot emphasize this last one enough, voters are more prepared for it. So Team Trump isn’t as good at doing the crimes as they were four years ago, even if they were as good at it they wouldn’t be able to use traditional and social media as effectively as they did last time, and even if they could adjust to that they’d have a harder time manipulating us. Maybe it got frustrating and boring for you to hear and talk about the 2016 attack for years on end, but the whole point of that was that we needed to be ready for exactly this scenario. So far, it seems to be working better than I would have hoped.

Obviously, this is infuriating. All else aside, putting this enormous, invasive pressure on a private citizen’s mental health and substance abuse problems is abusive and gross and genuinely dangerous. I don’t give a shit who his dad is, it’s fucking evil. We need to be ready to remember everybody involved in pushing this story – not just the con artists behind it, but the “mainstream” reporters who validated it in their behavior toward the Biden campaign or who spread what were (allegedly) entirely personal text messages of no news value.

But first, we need to win next month. On that front, I want to reiterate what I said when they first started cooking up this story late last year: it’s actually encouraging that they’re resorting to something like this, because it means they’re flailing. They haven’t been able to make FBI Director Wray abuse his power in the way former Director Comey did, despite the fact that the only real tool they had to manipulate Comey four years ago was taunting and pressure from conservative media. They don’t have a cutout like Wikileaks to launder the documents for them. Most importantly, they’re trying to influence voters’ opinions of Biden because they think voters’ behavior still matters. The only thing Trump knows in life is how to get away with a scam. If they thought they had it “rigged” they would be trying to act normal, because spending the three weeks before a heist reminding your marks of what fucking criminals you are doesn’t help you get away with it.

One last thing: this is a less obvious reason why it’s important to vote as early as you can. All these other increasingly desperate stunts depend on the ability to overwhelm everyone all at once, without enough time for them to be debunked or brought back into proportion. The more early votes are in the bank, the less effective their next stink bomb can be, and if it can’t be effective, there are a lot of people around Trump who would rather save their own asses from prison than help him throw it.

[selfshipstuff]

Love Tropes Asks: Michael

ok that’s it

im just gonna go fucking Ape Shit Feral. no asks necessary BINCH

prompts from this post

answers got long af so the rest are under the Read More

Aborted Declaration of Love

We both just kind of suffer for a while, quietly trying to get up the courage to say something, but he’s really shy, and I’m impatient with myself, so I’m the one mostly initiating it-- and it ends up with a bunch of accidental awkward silences where I’m like, obviously trying to tell him something (even he can tell) but I lose my nerve at the last second and just sort of nervously laugh it off. Eventually, I do confess, and I actually wrote a confession fic here. 

It went well enough!! We’re both just a bundle of nerves and anxiety, so it’s sort of clunky, but it goes well. :)

Accidental Hand-Hold

At first we don’t even notice, probably, because technically the first hand-holding to occur is most likely during a team fight-- when one of us is helping the other off the ground or pulling the other out of harm’s way. In the moment, we don’t think anything of it, focused on the situation and all; later, though? Oh my god, the realizations... the blushy tossing and turning in bed, staring at the ceiling and yearning....

My first purposeful hand-hold is actually before we’re together: I tend to do that thing where like, when comforting someone or starting a serious conversation, you take their hands in yours. It’s just sort of... grounding, and intimate, and like... I don’t know, it just feels right. Once we’re together, I love to take his hand and kiss the back of it at random while we’re holding hands. (He always gets so flustered, it’s adorable!)

The first time Michael moves to hold my hand is probably sometime around the time of the confession. Maybe a little before (during the yearning stage) or a little bit after (during the honeymoon stage) but honestly, it becomes so natural for him to just like... reach over and thread our fingers together that I don’t really know when it started. We both have a fair amount of anxiety, so it’s a simple, quick, easy, and sweet fix for when one or both of us feels it creeping up-- and like, who doesn’t like to feel the touch of their lover every once in a while?

After-Action Patch-Up

This trope happens a lot, actually, given the nature of the source material. I mean, we’re essentially a superhero team, so we’re on the front lines of the action 24/7; in the comic, everybody gets beaten up fairly often and usually to a wince-inducing (occasionally tears-inducing) extent. So you’d think we would be used to it, given the world we (he and my self-insert) live in, but... yeah, that’s not the case. 

When Michael sees that I’m hurt, it sort of depends-- I mean, 100%, he hates it and it’s upsetting to him, and he’s gonna be extra gentle and probably trace the injuries with his fingertips (or his gaze, if the injury’s too sensitive) but if he sees me being actively hurt by someone? Ooh. I’m definitely the more feral one generally speaking, but in this particular circumstance, he might give me a run for my money. Just picture this gentle, angelic dude going full “eliminate the threat and get them out of danger” mode. 

Of course, afterward, he’s immediately landing and rushing over to me (dropping to his knees if I’m on the ground) and frantically looking me over, hands hovering nervously over my skin, voice all shaky and quieter than usual when he speaks. hhh Anyway-- he does have some knowledge of first aid, since he grew up all isolated in the mountains and he had to know how to help himself and his family when things took a turn for the worse; mostly, he’ll patch me up however he can, and if it’s bad enough he’ll leave the fight to get me to safety and/or a hospital (depending on how close to done the fight is). If he’s not too badly hurt toward the end of a fight, he likes to help the paramedics patch up his teammates who are worse-off; if I’m among them, I’m the one he goes to. 

When I see him hurt, there’s... a lot less hesitation and a lot more ass-kicking. I’ll be honest, I’m really protective in general and I can’t handle seeing the people I love get hurt in any way, shape, or form. This fact combined with my feral energy is kind of a recipe for disaster at times, considering we’re supposed to be the good guys-- I mean, I’ve got a feeling it’s not great for the team’s image if I just fuckin’ electrocute anyone who hurts my boyfriend. Regardless, though, if anyone seeks him out (in a fight or otherwise) with ill intent, they better be prepared for the death and/or thorough beating they’ve earned. There’s a particular event in canon that haunts me so much I had a dream about it, and I ended up just... losing control of my powers and just completely fucking destroyed this girl who-- hhhh. Anyway.

When it comes to how I treat him afterward, it’s much the same-- the horror of seeing him like that and the cautious gentleness I treat him with are pretty much exactly the same, and we both do that hand-hovering thing like we aren’t sure if we’re allowed to touch (or we’re scared to hurt our love even more). One thing I always end up doing is just. Brushing his hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ears until eventually I just... ever so carefully bring my hands up to cradle his face-- usually just one cheek at first, and if he leans into it, I starting tearing up on the spot. Then I just... gently bonk our foreheads together because like jesus christ I almost lost you. I’m so glad you’re still here. After the fight, for the long run, I’m very doting toward him when he’s recovering; I’m not the nagging “you have to rest” type, but I’m more softly affectionate and I bring him things, do things for him. 

Almost Kiss

I’m not sure when exactly our first kiss is, although it’s probably during the same scene as the confession fic I linked in the first answer-- but as for how it is? Oh my god. 

He’s not experienced at all, like... I’m his first kiss, and it’s obvious because he’s so clearly anxious about it. Luckily, I do have a little experience, and also we’re both just super gentle-- in general, but especially with each other. It’s soft and uncertain, but we tend to melt into each other in pretty much any scenario because we’re just,, so comfortable with each other. So it’s only uncertain for a short bit before we’re pulling away all starstruck, breathless and giddy, only to go back in for another (and probably several more after that, to be honest.)

Beautiful Dreamer

Hmm. Well, it’s kind of hard to say who falls asleep first? Michael struggles with trauma-induced insomnia, and my sleep schedule is terrible-- plus, if he can’t sleep, I like to stay up with him (even if I doze off a few times while he’s reading) so... I mean, I guess on the nights that he sleeps, he’s the first to fall asleep? It probably helps that like, apparently when I play with people’s hair they get sleepy. (I have... the magic touch...) And I mean, it’s cheesy and predictable, but he is beautiful when he’s sleeping. He’s always gorgeous, but when he’s asleep he just,, relaxes in a way he never really seems to when he’s awake. 

On nights where I doze off first, it probably takes him a little while to notice because, like I sort of mentioned, he likes to read when he can’t sleep; he gets completely engrossed in the stories, and like, on occasion he’ll read something he thinks is cute or funny and he’ll grin and look over/down to share it with me, but sometimes he’s like oh because I’ve just... quietly fallen asleep all cosied up to him. And he just immediately softens and slowly blushes, usually just... pausing to study me for a moment before remembering the book, then he just kinda,, haphazardly bookmarks the page before setting it aside and shuffling around a bit so he can cuddle up to me. Sometimes this leads to him dozing off, too, but not always!

Regardless of the situation, though, we always sleep better when we’re together.

Bodyguard Crush

Okay but like... Michael just being himself is what makes me feel safe?? Everything about him just feels like home to me. He’s so gentle, and sweet, and like... hhh. I just feel like, there’s no question as to whether he would be accepting of me for who I am in my entirety, and that just means,, so much to me, you have no idea-- like I,,, I’m not actually super confident in myself a lot of the time, and I project this confidence anyway because I’m working on it, but I do usually have anxieties and doubts about how people perceive me, whereas with Michael there’s just this... exceedingly rare peace of mind. Like, most of the time, I have to try so hard to convince myself (like, “yeah, they’d totally be accepting, and if not, they can be in your canon” which isn’t as comforting as I’d like it to be) but like, with him it’s not even a question?

And like, I just... like I said, he’s so gentle, sweet, and understanding, and he’s just... like, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, and he’s so careful not to when it’s not necessary. He’s so quietly aware of people, and like... I dunno, I just,, I tend to be that person for people, and often it feels like my own feelings go unnoticed or ignored, but I’m like... actually confident that he would. Notice?? And be good to me???? Which is just,, so wild of a concept but it’s exactly what I need.

And then like. This one’s not great of me, but the fact that we both have trauma to deal with actually kind of makes me feel better. I mean obviously I hate that he’s traumatized and it fucking HURTS that people have treated him like this, but I just-- like, I don’t know, I just. I don’t really talk about it, but sometimes I feel broken, or like I’ll never be good enough, or like I’m actually a horrible person, but then like... with Michael, I just,, it’s so clear to me that like... he’s not broken or terrible or insufficient because of his struggles, not at all, and y’know, I think we’re good for each other and that we make each other happy, and that feeling kind of just... fades? Wanes? It’s not gone completely, and I don’t know if it ever will be, but still, he makes me feel secure. 

Um. I guess one last one!! Michael is shown to be very caring and like... he’s always fighting for people, and he’s got this gentle protective nature-- in canon he’s got this tendency to take on responsibility for others’ safety, and it hurts because he blames himself when they get hurt but it’s also just,, he’s so selfless, okay?? And he just,,, I know he would fight for me and like, put in the effort, and potentially stick his neck out for me, and that’s terrifying because I don’t want him to get hurt but on the other hand like... it means I know he’s got my back. 100%. And I mean... what can feel safer than that?? Because I’ve got his back too, so I’ll be doing my damnedest to make sure he doesn’t get hurt, and I can feel confident that I won’t be taking the brunt of things because he’s doing the same for me. If that makes sense dgjkjkdhgkj

Caught in the Rain

Ah, okay, well... the thing is, I lovvvveeeee the rain, so I would be ecstatic for a second, but then I remember like, fuck, Michael. Because the rain actually makes Michael sort of nervous, and I guess you could say, uh... flighty? See, like, his wings are A Thing and his feathers don’t repel water like duck feathers do-- his just get waterlogged, and then he can’t fly, so he’s grounded until he can dry off and fix them up, which makes him very anxious. Usually, he just freezes for a second and I have to sorta shepherd him into an area where there’s cover from the rain. 

If it takes too long and he gets rained on, he gets fidgety and tense, and I gotta like... gently tug him over to a place we can sit down so I can help him dry off. It’s a really,,, really soft thing, actually, because um. Okay, basically, like, winged creatures like birds usually only let their mates help them preen & stuff. So,,, it’s like,, a trust and intimacy thing. Also, I mean, it’s a cute picture: this lanky winged dude just,, sitting down, totally drenched from the rain, and his doting partner just slowly evaporating the water from his wings with their energy powers (heated hands come in Handy). I mean, come on. 

Grow Old With Me

Uhh... well, I guess we haven’t been together very long, IRL or in-universe. I will say, though, it feels like we’ve been together forever from how comfortable and natural it is. 

Laugh of Love

Okay, well, Michael... isn’t always very good with jokes, because he’s so new to pop culture, but he can be very silly sometimes. Actually, he used to be embarrassed about it, but sometimes he might play up the fact that he doesn’t get it, just to see me try not to laugh. I try not to laugh when it happens because like, it’s not his fault, and I don’t want him to think I’m laughing at him, but he’s just so darn cute omg-- but at some point he figures out that I find it a little bit amusing and he just jumps on that because he wants to see my smile skjdkjk

Alternatively, he can also just like. Compliment me too much and I’ll just start laughing out of embarrassment while protesting because like idk how to take a compliment

Love Epiphany

Ah, well, I mean, I realize pretty quickly that I’m crushing on him, because like, he’s so cute and sweet, FUCK-- love, though? Love with a capital L? That takes a little longer. Basically, the timeline is like, I met him and started crushing, then as I got to know the team (including him) a little better, we became fast friends and I tend to appreciate my friends very deeply, so that was another step-- and then just... as we got to know each other I gradually started to note some thoughts and feelings that weren’t quite platonic, and I kinda swept them under the rug at first because I’m an affectionate person and also I’m not straight so my affection lines are sometimes a little blurred. When they got more and more common though, I just kind of... had to admit it. Like, man, I’m a fairly logical being; if the evidence is all pointing one way, I guess that’s the most likely explanation? Plus, the thought of it made me feel really warm inside, which just confirmed things. 

Michael’s realization?? I’m not sure tbh. @astralshipper is especially fond of teasing me with the “love at first sight” thing, but that doesn’t seem realistic to me skjfkdk

Marry for Love

AHAAAHA. HA. hghfhsdbbjs No, we aren’t ... skdnsfdkjskjfk dg we aren’t married-- uhhhhh hahah.  ha. I mean, we just started dating like a month or two ago, what kind of fool would be thinking of ,,,, being with,,, ,, , such a wonderful..  lovely, sweet, perfect guy for the rest of their life JNFDKJNKJS I MEAN.  .   GHJGHGKGJHGKFHFHHHHGHHGGHHH

... We, uh... we haven’t talked about it. ^^;

Post-Kiss Catatonia

answered here

Sickeningly Sweethearts

Uhh, I mean... we’re not huge on PDA, because we aren’t extroverted and we aren’t extremely confident. However, we do hold hands quite a bit, and then when one of us is hurt, or we’re finally seeing each other after a fight, then we kind of just forget we’re even in public and we’re fairly affectionate. If we’re just at the team headquarters, sometimes I’ll initiate more highkey stuff like kisses, and for the most part, the team is chill about it. Katie just kinda grins and giggles, Scout is like “god i wish that was me” skjndkjnknk Hope and Nikki just sorta fondly roll their eyes, and both Nikki and Jack probably tease us over it. Jay is the one who’s like BLUHGGHHH GROSS gnkjnkngk but he’s a dumbass so I just stick my tongue out at him and/or flip him off. 

You Must Be Cold

answered here

Zip Me Up

Uh, we don’t really help each other get dressed. We’re both a little too easily flustered for that, although sometimes I do offer to help with his shirts because his wings can make things difficult for him. We might help each other with neckties if we’re going to a dressier event, or maybe with buttons on occasion. If I’m in a jewellery mood, he might help me with a necklace or something. None of this is super common, though, and by the end of it we’re always sort of flushed even though we’re very respectful about it.

[pastelbatfandoms]

Get to know my character

Doing this for My OC Marianna. Peter Hale’s Girl from Teen Wolf.

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? Marianna is a Spanish name and I am loosely basing her off of The Desert Wolf,which is why I chose that name. Even though Marianna is Native American. 

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? Peter is definitely a Weakness,and her Insecurity over how she doesn’t feel like she’s strong enough to handle him. Turns out she was wrong. Peter is as weak and Vulnerable around Marianna,as he has told her “They are Imprinted and that can’t be broken.” Though when he told her that he was stalking her and showing his weakness in more Aggressive ways. That has stopped since he turned Marianna and became her Alpha and a Father. 

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? Her Strength and eyes paired with that smile that she knows can usually charm Peter into doing anything. 

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) What others find Irritating,like Peter’s Sass and Sarcastic Wit,Marianna finds Funny and Sexy. They both share the same dark humor. As well as his fierce protectiveness for those he truly cares about like Herself,Malia and Derek. 

Physically? I mean that’s what attracted her to him in the first place,though he was younger then,but seeing him older didn’t deter her,it was more the History between them that did that. Peter is cute when he’s younger and still exudes that Charm and Confidence but as an Adult he is even hotter and that Primal Werewolf part of him doesn’t hurt either.

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? Definitely Confident. Though she didn’t have much experience until she met Peter. 

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?Not Hobbies although Peter isn’t one for Teen Drama but Marianna is mature for her age,her denying she still felt a connection between them or had feelings for him after they broke up,is what irritated Peter though and spurred him on to pursue her more. After becoming her Alpha Peter found out an interest of hers that though surprised him,intrigued him more,That she was a Little,or at her age just very Childlike,he was already Marianna’s Alpha which has it’s Dom Tendencies,Sexual and not,so being her Daddy Wolf wasn’t much different and something that wasn’t new to him. But was made more special because of there deeper connection. 

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? Besides Growling when she feels threatened and her little girl voice when she wants something from Peter...It works on Derek too. 

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? Her loner personality,even surrounded by so many Friends. She also has a quick temper which Peter sometimes reigns in sometimes encourages. 

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? Being a White Wolf,Marianna is partial to Winter just because she can blend into The Snow better. Her favorite Holiday is her Birthday because her Pack,especially Peter ,spoils her and her Friends always take her some place fun. 

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? A mixture of both.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? She’s a Wolf so...alot at first lol when she grows and becomes Queen to Peter’s Alpha she is more calm but anyone who comes for Her Family will definitely feel her rage. 

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? Her Powers,She grew up a Witch,her Mother being a Shaman,but her favored Magic is her Telekinesis.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? She’s a heavy sleeper and can rarely sleep without Peter. Especially as a Human because he was so warm.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? She did live with Scott and his Mom after her Parents,who were Drifters left to Mexico. After High School she went to Arizona with Peter which is where they tried there hand at there own pack and had Malia.

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. The Argents (Except Alison and her Dad),and any other Hunters that come for her Daughter or Peter. 

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? lol Definitely more of The Athletic type now. Especially when it comes to sparring with Peter or Derek or Erica. before she used to be a Cheerleader,with the insistence of Lydia. But Marianna still loves watching a Movie or reading a Book while curled on Peter’s lap. 

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? She is both a Queen and a Mother. 

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? She really doesn’t mind as long as her loved one’s are with her. It could be a Loft,an Apartment Downtown or a Cabin in The Forest. 

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?  She tended to avoid them as a Human,but as a Wolf well that’s a different story. Marianna is definitely well trained now. 

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? Yes,Dogs of all kinds. Wolves,Coyotes and Wild Cats as well. 

I mean would Lycanthrope be too on the nose? lol

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? Losing there Family,she’s already lost one of her Best Friends and members of her Pack,I don’t think she could bear to lose another. Especially Stiles,Lydia,Peter and Malia. 

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? After becoming a Were and joining The Hale Family,Marianna received A Tattoo of the Triskelion on her inner wrist,signifying her Pack. 

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? Marianna tended to slack off at school,much like Stiles,but she had a fondness for World History and got good enough grades to remain on The Cheer Squad. 

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? Personality wise? Powerful,Charming,Intelligent,Obsessive,Aggressive,Vengeful (when younger) Cunning,A Smart Ass,Fun,and a great Teacher as well as Father. (though he may not believe the latter) Peter can also be Sensitive and a good listener when in private. 

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? She’s already lived through it all and came out alive,she tends to not live in regret and taught Peter to not live in the past. 

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? I mean...I’ll make an A-Z Headcanon for Peter ♥

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? lol as a Human,ditching school,but it would probably be with Stiles and Scott,getting caught by Sheriff Stilinski who would tell them to go back to school and that Stiles was Grounded. 

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? No idea. Maybe Dance. 

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? Almost Died.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? In Little Space (which is around 12 yrs.) She likes Coloring,Stuffies,Watching Wrestling,and playing with Daddy. Her little space is less when she becomes a Mother,but that’s not a bad thing. Otherwise she likes going out Dancing,Reading Murder Mystery’s with Peter,Watching Scary Movies,which Peter tends to make fun of her for.

”Haven’t you been through worse? Those aren’t even real.” “Peter shut up.” 

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? They wouldn’t enjoy but if she had to she will. 

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? A Dinner Date with Roses,then going out into the night in there Wolf forms and playing Chase games,Marianna always lets Peter catch her though because she likes the end result ;)

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? The Loft or The Woods in her Wolf form. 

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) She’s a Carnivore ;) 

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? Not anymore. She will die protecting her Pack or she won’t die at all. 

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? No. She had PTSD for awhile after what happened with Peter and later having to leave him and Malia. But that’s more mental. 

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? When someone is obviously lying,making preconceived notions about a person,particularly Peter,even though she has done it. Hunters and pretty much everything they stand for,sorry Allison...Jealously even though she can get that way too. Though if it’s done in a protective way she doesn’t mind. Hard to rule that out with Werewolves though,especially an Alpha. 

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? Rain or Snow. 

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? That she’s a Rebel and doesn’t care for Authority,which is kinda true. That she doesn’t make good Decisions and is letting Peter control her which is not true. 

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? Well not everyone knows about her Little side or about Peter and Marianna’s kinkier side and they don’t need to.

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? Not Blood Family. But her Foster family (The McCalls),Her Friends,Her Alpha,Her Daughter and her Pack affect her daily life,they have to. 

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? No,though Peter probably wishes he could change a few things...

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? Just her little side and only Peter,Derek and Stiles knows about that. 

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? If she had lost Peter and Malia to The Hunters. 

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve? Both. She can be rather stubborn and only her Girl Friends,Stiles and later Peter have seen her Cry. But she does open up a bit more after having Malia.

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? If Peter’s sitting in his favorite Velvet chair or the couch,Marianna will crawl up on his lap and nuzzle him,Peter usually doesn’t mind,causally stroking her hair as he talks to the group. Unless he’s upset then it takes a bit more prodding on her part. 

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? A bit. As a Human she was usually just a part of the fun,unless she wanted to spend time alone. As a Wolf she’s a bit more out going and Authoritative especially as an Alpha. 

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? Peter. Just being Peter lol Especially when she was trying to hide her feelings from him.

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? Before they got back together,when Peter had some issues and was stalking her and killing those around her,she would have nightmares about him attacking her or turning her. As an Adult after she had to leave Malia and Peter,Marianna had nightmares about The Hunters killing them. 

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say? Done that. It was in a life or death situation when she finally admitted,tearfully that she still loved him. After he recovered Peter told Marianna he was madly in love with her and Marianna finally accepted him for who he was.  

[dizzyspellbook]

answer from aries to 12th house. all of them. please.

oh my god ahahhhaaha WELL OKAY.

aries: what are you passionate about?

I am passionate about making art, connecting with people, and helping others the best that I can. when I can help teach someone something important or help them access their own tools, that’s such an amazing feeling!

taurus: name 3 of your favorite books.

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly, Circe by Madeline Miller, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. all ABSOLUTE bangers. also fuck u I work at a literature company I can put a fourth book if I want.

gemini: what was the last text you sent?

“i shifted how i was sitting and was like ‘oh stabby, cool’” my friends will know what this is about

cancer: if you could choose your child’s zodiac sign, what would it be?

n/a (don’t want kids)

leo: name something you love about yourself.

I LOVE. how creative I am. I mean I constantly bounce between like five different hobbies and I just love looking at the things I’ve created and feeling proud of myself and remembering how much fun I had making the thing! plus, my art has helped me connect with so many people and has helped so many people and that’s just. ahh. so rad!!

virgo: what’s your #1 pet peeve?

I HAVE TO NAME JUST ONE? LMAO. honestly i think i’ll have to say when people are not aware of their surroundings—whether that’s people walking too slowly in front of me or someone just standing like a dummy in the middle of the aisle/sidewalk like buddy come on people have to Go Here.

libra: describe your dream partner.

my dream partner is patient, funny, handsome, supportive, excited, and understanding! he also has been dating me for over five years. :^)

scorpio: do you trust easily?

this is an interesting one. I... don’t think so? and that’s not because I expect people to hurt me, I just have a lot of walls and a front I tend to put up until I’m close with someone. and scorpio is my dominant sign so hey that’s fitting. I can’t always rationally tell whether or not I’m vibing with someone, but if I notice myself struggling to be myself or behave like I normally would because of my protective walls, I know they’re not a good fit for me. (also this isn’t because I’m not friendly or outgoing, it just takes a minute for people to get to know me a bit deeper. asndgntdn i’m overexplaining lol)

sagittarius: if you could travel to any place in the world, where would it be?

bro uh. you know i see why people romanticize traveling a lot, it’s supposed to be this really revealing experience—and I did get to study abroad in college, and it was a powerful and introspective experience—but now that I’m older and have a job and medications and illnesses and disabilities I just don’t know how feasible traveling would be for me. THAT BEING SAID: it’s on my bucket list to spend a few nights to a week in a cabin with paints and books and just fucking chill.

capricorn: what’s your dream job?

currently my goal is to become an adolescent therapist, but if that doesn’t flesh out, something else in the realm of social work or accessibility. and obviously I want enough time and energy to keep making art!

aquarius: do you believe in aliens?

scientifically, yeah! there has got to be intelligent life out there. spiritually, yes! I tend to think of deities as higher-vibrational creatures that can interact with us—similar to spirits and ghosts.

pisces: describe someone you love.

my mom is nerdy and gets excited about small things, from glitter to videogames. she has almost as many tattoos as me, and almost all of them are geeky references. she and i are both traumatized and chronically ill in similar ways, which I think has strengthened our relationship in my adulthood. though, I was always close with her—she always made sure to support whoever we were as children and teens and give us the resources we needed to succeed. :’)

sun: describe yourself in 3 words.

kind, balanced, sensitive

moon: what’s your favorite song?

Such Great Heights by The Postal Service!!!! it’s been my fav song for like, fifteen years

rising/asc: how would you describe your style?

lazy nonbinary wearing nothing but sweaters as they wait for surgery lol

mars: are you easily angered?

no—and in fact, it took me some time and a fair amount of therapy to be able to access my own anger after leaving an abuser. (though I DO get annoyed easily, see the question about pet peeves lolol)

venus: what’s your aesthetic?

i..... what the fuck is my aesthetic outside of my style. what does this mean. raw art, forests, sunsets, rain, i guess???

mercury: what color do you talk in?

green. sometimes, orange! other times, deep sea blue. but usually green.

jupiter: what moral do you live by?

be the best version of you that you can be, listen to the messages the universe sends you, and enjoy your life. be kind to others.

saturn: what’s your biggest fear?

living a dull, unhappy life and not making the most out of the life I have. making decisions out of fear and not going anywhere.

uranus: are you rebellious?

ok so not needlessly so, but whenever it comes to rules I think are dumb as shit, yes. yes. I was the kid in high school who got straight A’s but talked back to the subs when they were being unreasonable lol. I just tend to think “well I’ll do this my own way” when I don’t like something.

neptune: share one of your dreams.

I want to live in a brick house. I think they are so cute. I want a window nook seat, and a tower/fun shaped attic where a library can be—I want a yard for my doggy and a space for me to paint.

pluto: what’s the biggest thing you’ve learned by far in your life?

people are healing.

lilith: do you have any guilty pleasures?

sure! I like to imbibe in some drink or smoke and zone into a dumb videogame every once in a while.

chiron: have you ever broken a bone?

i broke my nose as a child!

ceres: are you a momfriend?

I used to be, now I think of myself more as a mentor and friend than the mom friend. being the mom is exhausting.

pallas: do you have a good relationship with your parents?

my mom, yes!

juno: do you believe in soul mates?

of course! not just romantic soul mates—there are many different kinds.

1st house: are you confident?

yes! most of the time, lol. until i am outside and constantly looking over my shoulder because ptsd has eaten my brain

2nd house: if you could only keep one of your personal items, what would you choose?

probably my laptop because of all the stuff on it, art programs, etc.

3rd house: do you like to read?

yesss!! see above with my book suggestions. I’m working on Dune right now.

4th house: what does your bedroom look like?

cozy! half messy, half not. we still have boxes we need to unpack at the foot of our bed, but I’ve decorated my dresser with a lot of memorable items—my necklace tree, photos, instax, we have a couple plants, oh and my altar is in here too!

5th house: name your favorite movie or show.

Avatar: The Last Airbender for surreeee

6th house: do you participate in community service?

not currently—while I like the idea of it, I feel like I don’t have the time or battery level with commissions and art and working full time and working out and taking care of a dog.

7th house: if you could choose, what zodiac sign would you like your dream partner to be?

man I don’t like this one, every zodiac sign has its ups and downs and further, combinations of zodiac signs are what make people truly unique—not to mention peoples’ life experiences!

8th house: do you believe in reincarnation?

yes, absolutely!

9th house: what’s your favorite quote?

not to be boring but I don’t think I have one, and I don’t really want to pull one out of my ass for the sake of answering this question. :(

10th house: are you good at public speaking?

surprisingly yes! I’ve got a good blend of professional and cracking the occasional joke.

11th house: what sign(s) is your best friend/squad?

LET’S SEE. we’ve got a cap, a gem, a gem/cancer cusp, a cancer, a libra, and a pisces.

12th house: do you like to be alone?

lmao tonight i hung out with my partner and her date and after a movie i was like “i’m gonna be a party pooper and go to bed and by go to bed I mean get on my bed and draw while listening to music” so yes, I sure do like being alone.

[ververa]

"You are enough"

CHAPTER 11

Ronnie had always been an artistic soul. She had never had too many friends and hadn’t wanted to change it. She wasn’t the same type as her mother – who would socialise with everyone whenever the occasion arose. Ronnie was just Ronnie – she preferred such a way of living since the very beginning. But it all was connected with her childhood. She was brought up mostly by her grandmother. And Joanne, as an overprotective granny, didn’t leave her too much space for exploring the world – as kids usually do. In the woman’s eyes she was always a little and way too fragile thing that may get sick or hurt herself every time she left the house. Basically, in granny’s confidence everything from the outside could kill her. Joanne preferred to keep her preoccupied with something different, that let them stay inside, and that thing were books. A whole lot of literature – fairy tales, short stories, comic books. It was as if she were living in a completely different reality.

So, when she finally broke free it was a bit hard to accustom. She was like the odd one out. And her new school was a kind of reality check and a real challenge. Being a good and liked by every teacher student was one thing, but having a mother – that demands being the best in everything was the other. Ballet class was never Ronnie’s dream, but for Caroline it was a way to made her own dreams and ambitions to come true. It was okay for Ronnie to do what her mother wanted until things got complicated. And when they did the girl finally understood what a pain in the ass her mother was. She had nobody who could help her when she broke down. She was dealing with her own demons and post-traumatic stress disorder on her own, because for Caroline it was her who was the problem. She was carrying on for so long, that when she didn’t have to do it all – alone any more – it was really hard to stop. It was as if she had built walls around herself. And nobody tried to get in to her shell, until she met Ellie.

Caroline was that type of mother, who noticed her daughter only when she succeeded in something. But even then the woman wasn’t really there for Ronnie, but for her success. She was always boasting herself – claiming it was all thanks to her. But with Ellie it was different. The psychiatrist was with her in, probably, the worst moments. When she was suffering from major depression and broke down – Staple was there ready to help. When she made the worst of possible decisions and cut her veins – it was Ellie who pulled her out of the bath and blocked the bleeding. The psychiatrist not only saved her, but also took care of her further treatment. She didn’t let them send her to a madhouse far away – in the middle of nowhere. She took care of Ronnie n her own. And she cured her of depression, eating disorders and low self-esteem. But despite being the best psychiatrist and the greatest of possible remedies Staple couldn’t cure her from insecurities and sensitivity to criticism.

But she was a painter. Criticism was a part of her profession and she was taking it pretty well. But after painting for almost half of her life and exhibiting for 3 she was done. Ronnie felt as if she had nothing more to offer. She simply didn’t have new ideas and all her old works were already seen by everyone. It wasn’t the first time she had a block, but it lasted longer than before and Ronnie was almost sure it’s a permanent state. It felt as if she had run out of everything that was in her head previously. Though the worst was yet to come.

____________________________

Ellie was abroad when the girl decide to end her adventure with painting – at least for some time. She went to meet with her agents, even though she wasn't really convinced to it.

"You what?!" a slim blonde – Bella yelled

"I'm not going to paint"

"And why is that?" the woman rolled her eyes not taking it seriously at allowing

"I don't have anything to offer any more"

"Ronnie" a tall, black man began "You should think about it"

"I did. If I haven't thought about it I wouldn't be here. This is the end"

"Ronney. Little girl, it's not the first time you're facing such kind of block"

"Jason is right. You should go somewhere. Rest, relax. And inspiration will come, as always"

"It won't" Ronnie shook her head "I know you don't understand. And I don't expect you to do so. My works were filled with grief, anger and fear. But I don't have it inside me any more. The old Ronnie is gone. I evolved and there's nothing more that I can paint"

"Is it because of Ellie?" Bella asked

"What? No"

"In my opinion it is"

"Leave her alone. She has nothing to do with it. It's my decision"

"You do not make decisions, little girl"

"Don't call me that. I'm not a kid any more"

"If you weren't a kid you would know that it's not a decision that you can make just like that. Did you even think what consequences it may carry?"

"And if you're not so vain you would know that there's no use in continuing it. Think about the last exhibition. It was a flop, because I have nothing more to show. You wanted me to dye my hair, so I could draw attention. I did. Now, my hair is fucking pink, but it changed nothing. People do not enjoy my art any more. Get over it. I'm done painting. A real artist ought to know when it's time to get off the stage. And this is that very moment. I gave people everything that I could, but I run out of ideas and I'm not going to push myself, because you want to earn money"

"And what are you going to do?"

"I..." she hesitated

"You have nothing! Only paintings. If you leave, you're over" Bella stated "You're nobody without them!" her voice was full of venom At that Ronnie stood up. She smiled at the woman and then at Jason, who seemed to be afraid to interfere in their little argument. "You're right. I'm nobody without paintings. So, it's probably the high time I changed it" she said and left the office ____________ Ellie had been working on improving Ronnie's confidence since the very beginning. On the one hand the girl was introverted and sensitive, but on the other she was full of energy and creativity. That combination astounded Ellie. Even though it wasn't easy, after those 3 years that passed, she managed to unblock the girl. However, there were still those moments when Ronnie got insecure and that's heartbreaking.

“Maybe I was never meant to be a painter” the girl implied as she was talking with Ellie on Skype

“Nonsense. You’re a great painter and you created a lot of wonderful works. It’ll always be a part of you, but if you don’t feel like painting any more you don’t have to”

“Bella sent me an e-mail what consequences my quitting will have”

“Which are?”

“If I terminate a contract I’ll have to pay quite a lot of money”

“This is a typical ploy”

“I know, but…”

“Look, our finance is stable. You don’t need to worry about the money. You can do it”

“And I’ll just sit at home and be your dependent? I don’t think so”

“I knew you’re going to bring it up again” Ellie shook her head “We’ll talk about it, when I come back. By the way, you remember that you’re going to the symposium with me?”

Ronnie did remember. It was going to be another dull meeting during which she would not talk with anyone, cause she’s just not like them. She didn’t like going there, but was doing it for Ellie. However, the girl failed to understand why the hell the psychiatrist wanted her to be there.

“I do, but maybe you should go there alone?”

“Why?”

“You know, those hair...”

“It’s not that bad”

“Red. My hair is fucking red. And ‘bad’ doesn’t describe it any more”

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s only hair after all”

“El, I look like a forest fairy”

The psychiatrist burst into laughter

“Yeah. Sure. Laugh at me” Ronnie huffed

“You look stunning. I would say fairy-like” she chuckled

“It’s not funny”

“You sure? Cause I think it is”

Ronnie rolled her eyes

“I’m serious you look good. Nobody will care. And even if they do, I’ll be right there and nobody will dare to say anything”

“Ellie the bad-ass?” Ronnie laughed

“No bad-ass. Just the boss” she shrugged smirking

“Being in charge is definitely your thing” the girl stated

“I suppose it is. So, I hope you’ll be here tomorrow”

“You say it as if I had a choice”

“You do have a choice”

“You’re going to give a speech and you promised to show me what a bad-ass you can be. How can I miss such a promising event?”

_____________________________

The symposium was supposed to be the ending of the one of many business trips – on which Ellie was. She was obviously the best psychiatrist and so she was asked to discuss the topic of delusion of grandeur – in which she was an expert.

It definitely wasn’t the first time she had to make such a speech, though she didn’t really like it. After all, instead of doing it, she could focus on her work or spend some time at home with Ronnie.

That’s probably one of the reasons why she wanted the girl to be there. The second was that she hated all that fancy parties – or more precisely the people there. And being there with Ronnie she could avoid some dull and not desired talks.

Work and education had always be the Most important things for her. She worked hard to succeed and had never even thought thought that some day it wouldn’t matter that much. But there she was – in her hotel room waiting with anticipation not for the symposium – as she used to do – but for Ronnie to arrive.

Though, the girl’s flight was delayed. Due to that fact they’re supposed to meet at the symposium. Ronnie hated such situations. In the aspect of having things under control they were both similar – everything had to be planned and go according to the plan. In other circumstances they’re pissed off. And so, as Ronnie finally arrived she was, basically, on the edge. Her patience and inner peace were already overexerted, so when things complicated even more she exploded.

“I’m sorry” a slim brunette dressed in some elegant clothes came to her

“Yes?” the girl tried to sound polite despite being nervous

“Not to be rude, but I think you may have mistook the places” she affirmed

“I’m afraid I don’t understand”

“You don’t look like someone with a doctor’s degree”

Ronnie frowned and took a few steps back. Then she took a deep breath, cause internally she had already punched the woman right in her face.

“Not to be rude, but shouldn’t you mind your own business?” she responded calmly

“I’m only saying that’s a fancy place and the meeting is for the doctors with degree in psychiatry”

“I’m not going to prove you my point. Neither do I intend to duel with you, as I don’t have a habit of attacking defenceless” with that Ronnie turned back only to face her girlfriend

Ellie was standing there with her arms crossed.

“Doctor Staple” the woman began pleadingly “I was just trying to explain that this meeting requires some standards and it’s not the right place for her”

Ronnie wasn’t sure what to do – whether she ought to say anything more and simply put the woman in her place or not. Ellie’s face remained unreadable. She glanced at the woman, then back at Ronnie.

“Indeed, Miss Levine, this meeting, place and in general work requires some certain standards and abilities that you’re apparently lacking” the psychiatrist attested dryly

Ronnie’s eyes widened. She looked at Ellie surprised – she definitely hadn’t expected her to act like that

“Well, miss” she addressed Ronnie “I bet your place may be already taken, as you’re late, so I’m afraid you’ll have to sit down next to me”

The girl smiled at Ellie’s professional tone

“I bet I’ll have to make do with it”

“I suppose” Ellie’s smile came back as Ronnie came closer to her “So, how was your flight, baby?” she asked loud enough for Miss Levine to hear

The woman’s eyes widened as she learnt with whom she was just talking. And it only made Ronnie laugh at how ridiculous and stupid people could be sometimes.

“I didn’t know you can be that bossy” the girl chuckled as they entered the building

“Do you think I overreacted?”

“No. It was… well, it was funny” she laughed “For me at least. Cause the poor woman was probably at the edge of having a heart attack”

“It’s only her fault. Nobody gets to mess with my girlfriend. Definitely, not someone with inflated ego, that’s not really compatible with their intellect”

Ronnie smiled fondly looking at the psychiatrist. They’re together for a few years, but it still amazed her how protective and combative Ellie became when it’s coming to defending her. But she could act the same and when it was about standing up for Staple, Ronnie didn’t shy away from resorting to violence, which she proved on a few occasions. In the girl’s case it was rather reasoned – since she cut herself off from her mother she had nobody, but Ellie. However, even though Staple did have a loving family none of them could compare to Ronnie. She was the best that had ever happened to Ellie and it was a natural instinct – to protect what was the most precious to her. And Ronnie became, literally, the world to her.

Even during her speech, the woman wasn’t looking at anybody, but the girl. And at one point she needed to take a break, cause when her eyes met Ronnie’s she got too distracted to continue.

“Will you tell me what’s your secret?” the girl beamed when Ellie came back to her seat right next to her

“My secret?”

“Yeah. How do you know that much?”

“I don’t” she smiled

“You do. That was great. Really. You did great”

“Thank you”

“By the way, do you feel like going for a walk later? I’ve something to tell you”

Ellie looked at her questioningly

“Actually, I feel like going for a walk now” the psychiatrist said

“But it’s not the end yet…”

“So what?”

“I thought you want to stay till the end…”

“I intended to, but now I’m way too curious what you’re going to tell me”

Ronnie only shook her head chuckling, as Ellie led her to the exit.

“So? What is it?” the psychiatrist asked when they were outside

“Well, I decided that I’m going to go back to the university”

Ellie stopped and looked at the girl. She wasn’t surprised – they simply didn’t discuss how Ronnie had to take a break form the university, because of the treatment and then didn’t continue.

“What? You think it’s a bad idea?” Ronnie asked

“No. This is a great idea. I mean as long as you want it I’m going to support you”

“I don’t know yet. I would like to do something that may affect people’s life. Though there’s nothing I’m good at, so it may be hard to find something suitable. But I can always try”

“Nonsense. You’re good at everything”

“Yeah. Sure. But still there’s no studies for me”

“Did you think about psychology?”

“Psychology?”

“Yes. You would be a good psychologist. You’re a good listener and people tend to trust you”

“I… Well, do you think I can?”

“Of course, you can. It’s all up to you”

“O-okay”

“You know?”

“Yes?”

“I’m so fucking proud of you” she cupped Ronnie’s cheeks

“Because I’m going to study?”

“No! Because you’re a fighter. You defeated your insecurities and put that stupid bitch in her place”

“Well, I guess I have a good master”

At that Ellie smiled fondly and leaned in to kiss the girl.   

[nataliaison]

I know that this isn’t how this works but these questions are really good and I would like my profile to be based on who I truly am so.....

0: 5’5

1: 19

2: 7

3: only when offered, so rarely

4: YES

5: Unfortunately

6: idk I’ve been told that I look like I’m in my twenties 😶

7: no

8: maybe? Idk if I get one I’ll definitely get disowned by my parents so it will have to be small

9: yes; I have two

10: YES I LOVE PIERCINGS THEY’RE COOL AS HELL

11: I don’t have a best friend

12: Single

13: being sweet and affectionate

14: judging other people and being rude

15: Fight Club!!!

16: you love me back

17: this really funny, beautiful girl who is moving back to Indiana soon and I can’t see her because of quarantine and I’m really upset about it

18: one time my dad slammed my head into a wall and screamed in my face. They’re are other things my dad has done that are probably equally as traumatic but I’d rather not get into that

19: I’m actually crazy sensitive and I reflect the emotions around me. Like if one of my friends is sad or upset then I get sad.

20: yikes. I hate a lot about myself. I feel like I’m selfish for being suicidal but I can’t help it. I feel like I drive away the people around me by being emotional. Overall I’m really hated by people. I’m also so fucking ugly holy shit lmao

21: I really love my friends

22: happy lmao. But on a more serious note, I would like to be a neuropsychologist

23: pretty good. My sister is fucking hilarious and I love that about her. We don’t talk much but I’m happy when we do

24: trash. Absolute garbage. Fucking disgusting throw it out ew

25: just hanging out, watching movies, hugs, snacks, etc.

26: narcissism

27:

The girl I like: funny, beautiful, like so fucking beautiful you want to claw your eyes out, short, clever, adorable, kind... she’s literally so perfect and wonderful and every time I hold her hand my heart skips a beat, I feel so happy when I am with her

The boy I like: funny, a bit awkward, great sense of humor, likes all the same things I like, actually so cute but he’s hella insecure, amazing artist, so creative, caring, has literally zero social cues though lmao, he makes me laugh so fucking hard

28: really mean and judgemental for no reason!!! She’s really pretty but her personality sucks ass honestly. Also she can’t spell and it drives me crazy

29: I worry that if I tell them the truth they won’t like me anymore

30: the complete and utter disregard for people’s personal lives!!!

31: “ocean man take me by the hand lead me to the land”

32: “I would tell you that I’m proud of you if you did something worth being proud of”

33: “I miss you”

34: literally everything girls are so beautiful

35: a sense of humor, kindness, sensitivity

36: small indie apartment in a big city, good view of the sunrise

37: yikes I have a lot but I’d say my biggest two are my forehead and my stomach

38: I wanted to be a biochemist until I realized that I’m a dumbass and could never do that

39: cookie dough!!! :)

40: happy. Have someone in my life that I love and loves me back.

41: literally fucking anywhere but here. I’m stuck in my parents house with them for quarantine and I’ve never been more miserable

42: I don’t remember what I last ate but I chugged a lot of coffee like an hour ago

43: Sebastian Stan

44: i love you and I want you to be happy!!!

nosy anons let's go

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

[kpopchangedme]

Stan Monsta X: Member’s guide

Lys’ note: I love to try to understand them as human beings rather than simply Idols, so here we go! I did this on my old blog and now I’m bringing it back! :) Maybe I’ll do others group too...

M A S T E R L I ST

Shownu

What you see at first: A silent leader with an amazing body and oozing manly charms.

What you get: An over-thinker who likes to have a deep understanding of situations. He’s actually paying attention to others 110% of the time he seems expressionless. He his awkward and a bit of a dork… That makes him way cuter than what you’d expect a manly man to be.

What people need to get over: Defining him by the robot thing? It was funny, but he’s actually reacting in front of cameras now that he’s more comfortable.

Secret Weapon: When he looks at people having fun and he silently eye-smiles and chuckles a bit. It kills every fangirl out there; Lipstick Prince made him shine a lot!

Minhyuk (my bias-wrecker)

What you see at first: (It’s more about what you hear at first) A bubbly MC who’s always loud on variety and knows how to make every situation funny.

What you get: The sweetest kind of human being. Minhyuk’s always trying his hardest, not just to entertain, but rather to make everybody’ comfortable. They call him a mood maker, not because he’s funny (aren’t they all?), but because he’s that one friend that never gives up on you. He’ll do anything to make you feel better. No matter what you’ve done or why you’re down; Minhyuk will hype the shit out of you.

Secret weapon: His husky voice. Seriously, he’s so underrated. But his true secret weapon is when we get used to him being bubbly & cute and he surprises everybody by suddenly acting all mysterious and hella sexy. I mean, who knew that this man could do both and be so damn good at it?  

THIS GIF IS THE END OF ME I SWEAAAAR.

Kihyun

What you see at first: One of the best rookie singer out there and someone who can sass like there’s no tomorrow.

What you get: A nagging mom who stands up for people he cares about. Kihyun will always protect his members no matter what. He can’t stand a perceived injustice. Sometimes, he forgets to act like an Idol because of that. Also, have you ever watch a fancam of Kihyun at a fansigns? That man's weak for his fans. His regular cheesy lines will make you fall for him, but also cringe like crazy.

Secret weapon: When he gets all cocky and overconfident about the smallest thing, he narrows his eyes and cocks his head with arrogance. It’s somehow irresistible.

Wonho (my bias)

What you see at first: A visual to kill for, oozing sex-appeal and confidence.

What you get: Somebody so insecure it will break your heart. This man has been valued mostly for his looks all his life and it’s probably what cursed him. Wonho looks all cocky and confident, but as soon as he’s off-stage, you realize he actually struggles a lot with self-esteem. He is sensitive and honest, he doesn’t hesitate to share his weaknesses and fears. He cares so much about everybody he often forgets about himself. He has one of the purest souls on the planet and I’m pretty sure his love can cure any disease.

Secret weapon: In real life, he’s sweeter than an Astro concept. Wonho’s secret weapon is his sensibility, since he has the capacity to move every human’s beating heart with his sincere words. That’s so Pisces of him. He can also kill us all when he cries, talks about his mom or is hurt.

Hyungwon

What you see at first: A tall man with god-like features, who looks kinda antisocial.

What you get: A man whose fidelity and dedication are no joke. He has this very gentle and caring side that he doesn’t show a lot. He also has strong expectations and is sometimes too hard on himself. Why are people calling him untalented? It pisses me off when people assume beautiful members are only there to decorate. Hyungwon voice is AMAZING. It’s a soft-lowish voice that’s interesting and really sexy. Not all singers have to hit high register, doux jésus!

What people need to get over: The sleep thing… Just... stop...

Secret weapon:  When he lets out his inner bitch or lose his temper, it’s nice that he has this badass and sassy side too. He doesn’t like being objectified and I think it’s so cool when he scolds fans who ask the boys to take their clothes off! Says a girl who writes smuts, RIP. (But I don’t shove it in their face)

Jooheon

What you see at first: A rapper with an intimidating gaze but a charming and funny personality.

What you get: The most charismatic wuss on the planet. Jooheon is also very sensible, loves to connect with people and values friendship a lot. He is adored by everybody since he’s very warm, but he struggles with self-image since his debut. He has an alarming tendency to starve himself because people criticized him for looking rounder on TV. Please give LOTS of love to our amazing rapper, for he is someone who deserves the world and could walk through a 100 haunted houses if we’d ask him too… Well, he would scream and probably cry, but he’d still do it.

Secret weapon: His child-like traumatizing aegyo. Could somebody, please, stop him?

I.M

What you see at first: A good and obedient maknae with a cute side and a deep voice.

What you get: His soul is deeper than the freaking Pacific Ocean. He’s more inventive and creative that any of us could figured out. He might not express his feelings much, but he deeply cares for his hyungs and fans. Changkyun likes to be independent but fears loneliness and is quiet but extremely eccentric at the same time. He’s a fascinating mix of qualities you thought would be total opposite.

Secret weapon: When he lets his 4D self loose and does something so out of the box, we can’t get over it for months. Yes, like that time he drummed on Shownu’s & Wonho’s ass cheeks. You’re welcome.

M A S T E R L I ST

[caemec]

To what would a best friend relation with boys look like ? (part 2) (Eldarya)

Hi guys ! Here is the part 2 of the headcanon for the Eldarya boys.

Ugh, I am so sorry for the delay, to tell you everything I had a few weeks of lack of motivation and ideas, but I will try to make it better from now on. I hope that post will be correct enough, I’m not really satisfied with it. I am so sorry if you feel that way too, just tell me and one day I will update it !

Part 1 (here) : Nevra - Ashkore - Leiftan

Part 2 : Chrome - Valkyon - Ezarel

Enjoy ! 

Chrome

In general ? 

You babysit that little brother all days and nights. He is an unbereable little nosey parker, and you will definitively have to deal with his mood swings. A single word could be enough to start a verbal fight, and you both finish to argue in the middle of the canteen, maybe even in front of a whole gathering. If you claimed your maturity before, since people see you with Chrome by your side, no one believes you anymore.

Yet, you couldn’t find a better friend to make stupid and childish challenges, to pace up and down the Guard’s corridors with a way too obvious innocent smile to not alert people around you, or to plan a revenge against Nevra or Ezarel (which will honestly fail each single time). You wanted a troublemaker in your life ? It is now done. But it’s worth it, because he’s a good and kind boy at heart. You are a sister to him, you’re his chosen family.

You are in couple ? 

Honestly, Chrome could encourage you to go out with Nevra. Just because he hopes that his chief guard would be nicer to him, the "adorable best friend and first man in his girlfriend's heart". He can be so annoying with that, and clearly, whoever you like, he will be that jerk who raises eyebrows multiple times and smirks each time the person is near from you. Without any discretion, obviously, or it wouldn’t be funny.

BUT. If someone even dare to think to hurt you, his best friend, the puppy will show he also can be a real and very dangerous werewolf. People don’t mess with your feelings, by extension, they hurt him too. You want revenge ? He’s your man for that, he even has some not really legal contacts (episode 17) to help.

He is in couple ? 

It would probably be his first relationship ever, and he is the cutest little thing you ever saw when he speaks about it. Be ready for the classic big sister speech. He doesn’t feel at ease, is a total mess in front of you, speaking about it will make him blush as never before. All those emotions together, and you already can predict he will finish to be upset and yell at you for no reason, before escape and go to his bedroom. Poor lovey-dovey child.

But don’t worry, he will come back really fast. Chrome is maybe the one who needs the most your advices and your presence. You can reassure him when he doubts, and if people start to understand what happens to him, you will have to be his new bodyguard for a while. Keep an eye on Ezarel, he will never let Chrome in peace after that, and if Nevra comes to him with so-called seduction advices, don’t. Trust. Him.

From “best friends” to “more than friends”? 

Huh, he’s like what, fifteen ? When our main character is way much older and legally an adult ? It’s a major no no here.

Valkyon

In general ?

The sweet, shy and kind Valkyon has no secret for you anymore. That was quite hard, we have to be honest, he’s not the most talkative and extrovert guy in the world. But somehow, you managed to find how he operates, and respect his way to do so. It is why you must have a particularly strong and unique relationship. He is probably a good balance between the fun part of the friendship and the seriousness you both need sometimes. One of the best when you need to evacuate some bad feelings, thanks to his practically forced trainings.

BUT. Be careful. Valkyon can be the devil in a pretty package. We all know that he can be as cynical and playful as Ezarel. The difference between them ? Ezarel uses the irony to protect himself, while with Valkyon, it is a proof he is comfortable in your presence. Still, he would never be an asshole or cross the line, he learned so much about you since you arrived, and despite your relation, he still stays respectful. 

You are in couple ?

Finally a sane best friend who will not try to kill your partner, or at least traumatize him/her. He would never be like that, he considers you as an adult, you are able to make your own choices, and since it is your couple and not his, he doesn't have to be involved more than what you decide. Still, he stays quite curious, and will clearly love to hear some funny anecdotes from time to time. 

He is also the one who will talk about your behaviour with a total honesty, always thinking of your happiness first. You messed up and has to go apologize immediately ? You take an argue too much to heart ? You should think twice about the sincerity of your Partner ? He will let you know all of that, still with so much kindness and concern that even if he raises a sensitive issue, you couldn’t be mad at him.

He is in couple ?

He is so secretive, so he would probably avoid to talk about that at the beginning. But as the person he trusts the most, he needs to confide in you. You would have to remember him that he is as attractive and full of beautiful details as the other men in the HQ. If there is one subject where he can be insecure, it is the trust, and yet to make a relationship working, you need to lower the guard. Not easy to do for someone like Valkyon.

Actually, for once, it wouldn’t be you who would have the reasons to be jealous, but the other girl. He is probably quite exclusive, can talk about you for a long time, even during a date with someone else, without understand that he destroys his chances. He is too pure and loves you too much to not talk about you, a whole part of his life. Well, how to tell him...

From “best friends” to “more than friends” ?

If you finish in that situation, you would officially be the cutest persons ever. It would be all about shy looks, blushing face, insecure smiles and a light embarassment when you touch each other or have sweet words. People are all “aww” around you, and they all see the truth, when you are still searching why you act like a teenager in front of your best friend, until the day someone will let out a “you two would make a great couple”.

It would probably take time for you to decide to be more than friends, in part because of your desire to do right. But isn’t it the best way to discover each other in a new light ? One thing is clear, with Valkyon, you will always pass first, and you will definitively feel it. How lucky you are.

Ezarel

In general ? 

You already wanted to kill Ezarel before ? Well, since he is your best friend, you officially plan to resurrect him, just to kill him a second time. Ezarel as a best friend, how to say... he's the kind, if you fall, to laugh so hard he will wake up the next morning with a painful jaw (karma). Don't expect for a "are you okay?", he reserves politeness to normal people. You are way too close to him to receive that kind of treatment. Ezarel’s logic, he is merciless with people he cherishes the most.

Of course, you will never have the time to be bored, he will always have a new prank or a stupid joke to try, and as his best friend, you are also his official test subject. He has a reputation to maintain, so consider yourself as a part of his success. Pranking him still stays dangerous for your life, in part because you can identify better than anyone else his weaknesses (and he clearly doesn’t like that).

You are in couple ? 

Let's be clear. For Ezarel, at the moment he will learn the good news, your crush will officially become his new favourite target. That's a serious reason to break up with you, by the way. People could even avoid you during parties, when he is too close from where you are to make the situation safe enough.

In case of broken heart emergency, he will have is own particular way to treat the situation. Don’t expect for a lot of affection, he is upset by what happened, and will basically evacuate it... on you. A tears session ? He will react with a “just kick his ass once for all and stop crying on my shoulder”. If you need advices, start to ask to other persons too, because clearly, Ezarel will not make the best psychologist ever. It is just that he is really angry, in part against himself to not be able to help you correctly. However, if your ex crosses his way when he is alone... Let’s just say that he has never exercised his cynical and bitchy art better than that day. Classical Ezarel, acting in your back to make you smile again, while pretending nothing happened. 

He is in couple ? 

Huh... What ? You probably missed an episode (or even a whole season), because you weren’t aware at all of that kind of... stuffs ? Obviously, he will just let you know he has someone, between two potions, without telling you the name. It’s so much more fun to imagine you searching with anger than just explain the truth. He suddenly becomes close with everyone, just to lead you on wrong cluses. What a child. But you also know he acts like that to avoid to speak seriously about his feelings. Introvert guy until the end.

If he can manage his relation alone, you will have a moral support to bring when he goes too far with his jokes or upset his partner. With Ezarel, that means you will have a lot of work to do. I can understand if you start being jealous. He’s not easily really close to other people, and is totally that kind of guy who has unique relations with everyone. That’s a bit rude to live sometimes, but hold on and talk to him, he will understand it’s quite important for you to be reassured.

From “best friends” to “more than friends” ? 

With anyone else, you would normally see a seduction game from really far, thanks to a sudden tendency to tease each other much more than usual. But with that guy, it is absolutely impossible to take that as a repair. Look closer to his way to do it. Is it still innocent, or does he tease you about your ex, your way to dress, his remarks about little habits you unconsciously have (like biting your lips in front of a troubled Ezarel). Here are your signs.

He maybe could be the most playful of all the boys. Each single step to lead to the couple status will be a source of joy and fun to him. It can honestly be fatiguing and can upset you from time to time, because you don’t operate the same way and at the same rhythm than him. You could think he plays with your feelings more than anything else. Let him understand if he goes too far, it will be the only safe way to manage the whole situation.

💫 Masterlist 💫