#I know that's 100% realistic but just throwing it in at the end for such a minor character felt nasty like wtf ??

[capitainecorbeau]

I finished pentiment ! Spoilers ahead

Overall I liked it, but the ending felt rather weak to me, and brought the whole experience down a bit. It's a shame, because I really enjoyed playing through the game, getting to know the characters, and investigating, stressful as it may have been.

The thing is, Act 3 feels like a different game than 1 and 2, and I didn't mind ! Magdalene is a good protagonist, and it's very interesting going through the town both as a passing guest and as someone who lived there her whole life. But I felt like Andreas's return was kinda shoehorned and didn't add much to the climax of the story. I guess it was done because Magdalene is not as emotionnaly invested in finding out who is behind the murders. But honestly, him dying in the abbey fire, while tragic, felt like a... i dunno how to phrase it, but it wouldn't have felt out of place at all.

One thing I didn't like at all is the fact that whoever we pick as a culprit to the murder is actually the culprit. The whole investigation it felt like we were scrambling to find an acceptable target, to save Piero the first time and to try and avoid a bloodbath the second time, so I feel it would've been much more appropriate it they weren't actually the culpts.

It can be argued that it's open to interpretation, as they never confess and people could just be adamant that it's them because they're unwilling to consider the alternative. But no one ever speculates about Andreas being wrong, it doesn't sit right with me. I didn't even want a "true culprit reveal" or anything but I wish the game had leaned into this ambiguity more. In the end I felt there was a discrepency between how I felt gathering those weak suspects and motives during the investigation, and how the game talked about that afterwards.

I'm curious to play through again, with a different Andreas (the one I made for this playthrough was just a huge nerd) and Magdalene, and try and see stuff I haven't yet !

[andy-wm]

i'm wondering how your thesis of "idols will come out when they want" fits into your insane shadow analysis attempting to prove jimin and jungkook fucked in the middle of their travel show (amongst other things)? like do you get joy out or trying to drag someone out of a closet they might not be in? or is it something else? just curious! 😀

Hey wdcmaxy

Since you have the guts to use your name I'll respond :)

So, you read my thesis?

*Sips whisky*

Cool. And you read my insane shadow analysis too?

Hmmm... do you come here often?

Let me answer your question then.

I think we both know the shadows analysis isn't really insane - it's based on very basic earth science. Shadows grow longer as the day progresses because of the rotation of the earth on its axis. You sound reasonably literate so i assume you know this already.

I guess your description of my shadow analysis ( I think I'll name my next racehorse 'Shadow Analysis') as insane is an attempt to discredit the idea that a fair bit of time passed while Tae was out of the house? But that was kinda silly on your part. Even children know that shadows change as the day passes.

Nothing insane about it.

He was gone for hours, no debate.

Now let's move on to the fucking part, and when and how idols choose to come out.

This is actually worth discussing.

As flattered as i am that you think my tiny insignificant blog could be a game changer for anyone, let's be real.

How many people, besides yourself, do you think read my blog?

Serious question.

I'm estimating maybe 100. Double that on a good day. Maybe 300 if i write something REALLY profound which doesn't happen often.

I am way less excited about my impact on the world than you are, because I'm a realist.

BUT if by some strange twist of fate my blog came to the attention of someone whose opinion mattered (I'm not counting you, don't worry) do you think they would take it seriously? Do you REALLY imagine a random tumblr post about shadows could make someone believe that an idol was gay if they didn't already believe it?

Here's a great example of how that wouldn't happen:

You, dear reader.

You're my example.

You came here to tell me I'm speaking shit and that I should pull my head in, correct? My insane shadow analysis hasn't changed your beliefs at all. You're here, throwing a tantrum on my page, because you don't agree with what I'm saying, not because you suddenly believe it.

Or ...

Perhaps you suspect it's true and that scares you. Maybe you can't be absolutely sure I'm wrong and that's why you need to yell at me? Could that be it? Time for a bit of self reflection?

Either way, it's not going to make an iota of difference in the grand scheme of things.

We are all just dust motes floating through time and space, my friend. You dont need to worry so much. The universe is unfolding exactly as intended.

However... There are a couple of things we should agree on:

The fact is that the shadows grew long and therefore, time passed. And Tae was out for several hours. Maybe he went out for a bit of afternoon delight himself? Maybe Jimin and Jungkook played Pokemon Go all afternoon, or prayed, or practiced their English, or braided each other's hair.

Regardless of whether they did or didn't fuck, or how many times, or on what surfaces, the time still passed.

And whether I write my blog or not, people will believe what they believe. And they will be gay or they won't be gay.

And even though I never mentioned anything about them fucking in that post, whether you like it or not Jimin and Jungkook might be fucking right now, as you read this.

One last thing...

Please bear in mind, through all of this, that fucking is not the be all and end all of life. Sure its a lot of fun if you do it right but the notion that it's more meaningful than sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, or giving someone your time and energy, is bullshit.

You can have a roots-deep love for someone and never even think of fucking them. Or you can meet someone in a public toilet and have at it, and leave without even knowing their name.

Sex does not equal love. Fucking is not that big of a big deal.

Unless...

Unless you're fucking someone the patriarchy doesn't want you to fuck. Then its a major issue.

Hear me out.

The need to control who we fuck is based a patriarchal need to control material wealth.

To control material wealth, the patriarchy needs to control reproduction (so they can be sure their wealth stays with their bloodline, because wealth is built over many generations) and to do THAT they need to control womens' bodies.... and to do that, of course they need to control who women fuck. And who men fuck too!

Do you know what the ACTUAL issue is with men who like dick? They don't automatically buy into the patriarchal way of life. (where's the solidarity, lads?)

Why don't they?

Because lifelong monogamy and marriage and nuclear families don't matter as much when you're not equating love with sex, and sex with reproduction. When your goal isn't to accumulate wealth and pass it down to your children.

Same thing applies to women who love women. They aren't focused on being demure and pleasing the men in power. They aren't focused on making themselves wife material. They will challenge the status quo and maybe even (shock! horror!) decide not to have children. How the heck do you make sure your money and power stays in the family, how do you build an empire, when the women are perfectly happy having sex with each other and don't want to love, honour and obey??

And whose fault is all this?

Its got to be the damned queers, right? They're making people think there might be other ways to share your life with those you care about! That's why its important to squash down gayness whenever you can, right, wdcmaxy?

Look at them destroying the fabric of society!

If Jimin and Jungkook ARE fucking every chance they get, good for them. I hope they're balls deep and breathless, hitting all those sweet spots for each other having a really good time.

And if they're not fucking, it actually doesn't matter to me because the way they support each other and share their hearts is beautiful. (I do think they are fucking though)

Truthfully, whatever they're doing, as long as they're happy I'm happy.

Can you say the same, wdcmaxy?

Peace.

[childeel]

"THE BLOOD OF ANOTHER."

✦ childe, diluc.

'when the blood of another stains his hands'

notes — mentions of murder, violence, angst / comfort.

childe ⟢

tartaglia is a fatui harbinger, he's familiar with gruesome violence, and faces it head-on regularly within his work. he 's taken more lives than he can count on fingers; and he tries not to think about it. hey, he's a harbinger — he 's just doing his job, if he needs to take a few people out on the way, then so be it; if it weren't them, then it was him — it 's just self defence. he tries to excuse himself, but he can't. how could a such a kind and innocent girl like you, end up with a man-made killing machine? he doesn't want that for you, he doesn't want your life to take the sudden turn that his did.

"do you ever wish things were different?" asks childe one night while you're both laid in bed together. your eyes are heavy, and your mind is beginning to tune out your surroundings. but childe is wide awake, his body is tense, and he's restless — and it's really pissing him off. your ear pressed against the beat of his heart, you quirk an eyebrow upwards. you're accustomed to tartaglia throwing questions at you in the dead of night, and so you don't think much of it at first. 'mm..? in what way?' you'd mumble back, slurring your words in a slight haze of sleepiness.

"just... y'know. the fact you ended up with me." he replies after a few moments of silence. his voice is monotone and dreary, but with your ear pressed so close to his chest, you can hear the slight shake in his breath. tartaglia will never be truly honest with you about his feelings, and so realistically, there's no point in asking him about it. tartaglia feels no need to share his negative emotions — he doesn't like vulnerability, and giving people an open chance to rip his heart right from his chest. and so, what it is that made this thought occur for him, was something that you could never be 100% sure about.

tartaglia doesn't want your pity, and you know that. your arms wrap tighter around his torso — pressing yourself closer into him, if you'd left any room between you to begin with. you lift your head that rests on his chest, your eyes desperately searching for his in the thick darkness of the room. your hand reaches to cup one side of his face, and your thumb traces over his bottom lip.

"no. that's never a thought that's even so much as crossed my mind," you begin, simply. one of his hands holds your own, and his other hovers on the lower of your back — and although you can't see them, you can feel your lover staring into you; drinking in every and any sense of you that he can. "whatever goes on in that, crazy, little mind of yours — it's not always right." you tell him, and you can hear him laugh softly. your voice becomes gentler, and you lower yourself, so that your lips barely brush against his own — "i love everything that makes you, you — no matter the reason, or the circumstances. id accept you in any way." you finish, pressing your lips forwards, capturing tartaglia's.

diluc ⟢

diluc has a dark past — one that will haunt him until his very last breath, every day is an aching reminder of those many years ago. his life was bleak and dull, he busied himself with work, his nightly duties; he could go days without sleeping — purely out of choice, as the nightmares he endured were much too a burden to deal with. and then, you came along. his longly wretched and desolate days were put to an abrupt end the day you stepped foot into his life, blazing a bright light into his moonless life. you were kind, and astonishingly beautiful — you had a heart and gold and fought for what was right, and you were notably skilled in fighting too — diluc though that you were just utterly perfect, and he didn't deserve that.

you'd dawdle into the angel 's share late one night — far beyond the closing hours. diluc was behind the bar, washing the glasses, finishing off for the night... or at least, that's what he was meant to be doing. when you'd walked in, you found him seated behind the bar with his head in his heads. the tavern was dim, the lights had been shut off all but one above the bar. you couldn't hear anything, not a sniffle nor a breath — but visually, it was obvious diluc was crying; which was an uncommon sight for you.

"luc..?" you uttered out, cautiously stepping towards him. you weren't entirely sure what to do, or what to say. you'd never seen diluc in such a sorry state in your life. "my love... what's the matter?" you'd ask again after a few moments of silence. diluc had not moved a muscle upon your entrance, he was undisputedly humiliated — he'd been caught, he was vulnerable to the core. besides, he didn't know what to say, talking out his feelings wasn't his forte being strictly honest — the words would get caught in his throat, scratching and clawing, leaving a burning in his throat, and words unsaid. but, he couldn't sit frozen and act like he wasn't there forever — not when you were stood, so beautifully in-front of him, eyes wide, lips parted, one of your soft hands rested against his forearm. you looked frantic, and hugely concerned.

"oh. it's you, dear." he'd clear his throat, trying to rid of the strain in his voice, but to no avail — there was a croak in his glum words. he lifted his head from his hands, his eyes weighted down — glossy and bloodshot, blotches of red painting his face. "it- uhm, it really is nothing dear." he manages to say, when his heart feels as if it were clenched in the palm of your hand. "i really do apologise for the delay — let 's head home, you must be tired."

and like that, he 's hastily clearing out, shutting off the remaining lights and locking the tavern door behind him. he takes your hand in his whilst the two of you walk back to your home, in a heavy and uncomfortable silence. the silence continues when you get home, when he's holding you in his arms — so tight. you understand that diluc may not ever tell you what's going on up there, and if he does — it'll be when he's ready. all you can do in the moment, is make sure you show him just how much he means to you.

[dark-frosted-heart]

Secret Acting Instruction - Keith Howell

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

nsfw, minors dni

Emma: Prince Keith, you did well on your performance today. Cheer!

Alter!Keith: Cheers.

The light clinking of glasses resounds and Emma, who sat beside me on the sofa, takes a sip of the clear alcohol.

By the way her eyes widened, she thought it was good.

(I didn’t expect Emma to throw an after party)

I followed Emma’s lead and took a sip from my glass; the subtle sweetness spread throughout my weary body.

Emma: By the way, you were really cool.

Alter!Keith: Yeah, yeah, thank you. Think I heard that 100 times before getting back to my room.

Emma: Saying it 100 times isn’t even enough. Unlike last year’s performance, this one was about friendship and I thought you were a really great fit for your role. I’d read the original work multiple times, so I could imagine you in that role… But you were so much better than I could’ve imagined…*sigh* I should’ve asked for an artist to paint you.

Emma’s eyes lit up like the sun as she continued.

(Not a bad reaction. If I didn’t get into it, then there wouldn’t’ have been a point in going through all that trouble)

After Emma and “that guy’s” first performance thanks to their favorite author, the director unexpectedly took a liking to them and a second offer came.

Initially, I thought about rejecting it for “that guy” since he’s a pushover, but ended up changing my mind and so here I am now.

Alter!Keith: You looked pretty good too.

Emma: This time I was just a fill-in for a side character though?

Alter!Keith: Don’t be so modest, Miss side character who loves me so much. You almost changed the genre with that look of love on your face.

Emma: Uh…

It looked like she was aware of the fact, given how she looked away, ears red.

(It was a pretty realistic performance—)

~~ Flashback ~~

This time the performance was the classic story about rewarding the good and punishing evil where my character and his partner infiltrated an evil organization, exposed its injustice, and rescued the weak.

Emma played a low-level grunt of the organization, an upstanding “young man” who was the first to become an ally during the infiltration.

There was a scene depicting the beginnings of conflict within the organization.  

Emma: ‘Please wait! Your clothes are a mess.’

Alter!Keith: ‘Oh, it was quite the fight back there.’

Emma: ‘Are you hurt?’

Alter!Keith: ‘Getting hurt by those kinds of people would be such an embarrassment that I wouldn’t be able to sleep.’ ‘That aside, are you sure you want to follow me?’ ‘It seems I was mistaken for a traitor.’ ‘A weakling like you will die if you stick with me.’

Emma: ‘...I know. But I still want to.’ ‘Even if the path I’ll walk with you is harsh and full of thorns.’ ‘Even if corpses pile up behind you.’ ‘I will follow you for the rest of my life.’

Alter!Keith: …Stay in character.*

Emma: !!!

~~ End flashback ~~

Emma: Please let me explain. …I was captivated by your flashy action scene that came before.

Alter!Keith: So?

Emma: I forgot I was acting and fell in love.

Alter!Keith: Quite the adorable excuse.

Emma: A-at any rate, I didn’t expect you to take on another acting job! You could’ve refused. Did you perhaps fall in love with the stage…?

I shrugged as Emma blatantly switched topics.

Alter!Keith: As someone who loves me, do you think so?

Emma: …No.

Alter!Keith: Good answer.

Emma: Then why…

Alter!Keith: It’s thanks to you knowing the original story and helping me rehearse that I was able to put on my best performance. It was refreshing being instructed for once. Yeah, I probably liked that.

Emma: …You’re hiding something.

Alter!Keith: And you’re not?

(I’m not nice enough to tell you everything)

Unconvinced, Emma kept her eyes on me.

“I want to know” was written all over her face, and I knew she wasn’t going to give up until I told her.

(If that’s the case—)

Alter!Keith: Hey, let’s do it again.

Emma: Do wha—...Mnn.

I set the glass down on the table and kissed Emma.

I took her glass, placed it next to mine, and pushed her down onto the sofa.

Alter!Keith: Acting instructions. Want me to be wicked? Or do you want me to be nice? I’ll act however you want.

Emma: It seems like there’s a different goal in mind…!

Alter!Keith: Don’t worry about it. Come on, tell me.

I squeezed her breasts through her blouse like I usually do.

When I purposely pressed against a sensitive spot, Emma, whose eyes were shining with innocence just a moment ago, now exuded a sensual aura sweeter than nectar.

(You’re just as much of a pushover)

I continued playing with her chest while ignoring how she was rubbing her legs together.

Emma: …off.

Alter!Keith: Hm? Didn’t catch that.

Emma: …Clothes…off.

Alter!Keith: Is that your first instruction?

She nodded, face even more flushed than it was on stage.

Following her “instruction”, I stripped her, revealing perky nipples.

Alter!Keith: Next?

Emma: …Do I have to say it?

Alter!Keith: Of course. You’re giving me acting instructions, aren’t you?

Emma’s face grew redder as I kept staring at her nipples.

(This is why I can’t stop acting wicked)

Emma: Do what you usually do…

Alter!Keith: Be more specific.

Emma: …Please rub them with your hands.

Alter!Keith: Like this?

I asked as I gently traced around her nipples.

Alter!Keith: I’m rubbing them like you asked.

Emma: Here…

She took my hands and brought them to her peaks.

I smirked when I noticed her shaky fingers.

(You’re so easy to read)

Emma: …

When I gently rubbed where she wanted me to with my fingers, Emma’s brows furrowed in frustration.

She still wasn’t satisfied.

Alter!Keith: You were better at instructing than this. Be serious.

Emma: Then…I’ll tell you the most important thing.

Emma sighed wistfully and then grabbed my cheeks before kissing softly.

Emma: I…don’t like you playing a role. I like you as you are.

Alter!Keith: Meaning?

Emma: During times like this, just like you…I want to be loved with genuine feelings, not with acting.

(...I see.)

It was like there was a tight grip on my heart as she looked at me pleadingly.

(Definitely “serious”)

Alter!Keith: Isn’t it also because you’re too embarrassed to say more?

Emma: …There’s that too.

Alter!Keith: It’s good to be honest.

(I’ll stop being mean)

Emma: Huh…Ah…Nnn

I captured a nipple in my mouth and rolled it around with my tongue like she wanted me to.

At the same time, a hand traveled up her leg to her wet core.

Emma: So…sudden—

Alter!Keith: You told me to do what I wanted. No taking it back now.

Her hips jerked as I rubbed along her slit.

My fingers grew wetter with her slick and as Emma fell into pleasure, she seemed to forget I was avoiding something.

Emma: Aaahhh…

While I slowly fingered her, I thought back to the book the performance was based on.

When we got the second offer, both the other guy and I realized that it was based on a book Emma loved.

(The original work was Emma’s favorite, and she’d often recommend the other guy as the cool lead)

(If it became a play…)

(You might’ve called whoever played the lead “cool”)

(Would you have?)

I pulled my fingers out, released her nipple, and pressed down against her.

(You can only call us “cool”)

I thrusted into her and when I brushed her hair away from her face, regardless if she’s on stage or on this sofa, love was written all over her face.

*Here, Emma used the wrong personal pronoun for her line. She said ‘watashi wa’ (her pronoun) and then Alter!Keith reminds her that it’s ‘boku wa’ (character’s pronoun).

[starlyx0]

so I have noticed some people think Ben is boring (trust me I’ve seen it)

so I am here to talk about everything ben and try to explain his character!

This won’t be the best character analysis

as English is not my first language and I'm trying to bring more attention to stuff that's not talked about often.

So I'm going to split this into 6 categories to try to make writing this easier for me so bare with me.

Things I’ll go over!

personality 

looks 

hobbies

past & current 

relationship with family 

relationship with friends

This is going to have a bunch of stuff that are headcanons I'm only including them to show ppl if u can put some thought into it u can get some reasonable ones.

1 | personality

I see a lot of ppl reduce his character to only music and being mute? which really upsets me because he soo so much more,

but making his entire personality music makes me so mad

most headcanons I see are all the same PLEASE I AM TIRED of hearing what kind of songs he listens to that or all ship headcanons titled as Bens 

he's a shy awkward guy we all know that cuz he really just stands in a corner awkwardly scratching his neck most times and he also doesn’t like horror or anything scary (eps 11) 

hes a protective older brother not overly like Tyler where hes more protective of Tay from other people ben is more chill going and more afraid of what life throws at Lily, there’s not much here cuz more points I have fit in the other categories :)

2 | looks 

he looks kinda of basic nobody can deny that so I won't, but because of his past I imagine he would have a bunch of scars ik he doesn’t and that’s a bummer cuz I really wish he had 🥲

After he lost his voice he became super facially expressive but also really good at hiding his emotions so it’s either really easy to read him or really hard no in between. also because of his past bullying, I assume it affected him and the way he presents himself that why he sticks to basic outfits and look,

overall trying not to bring attention to himself even after therapy he stuck to his habit but if someone gave him a little push and helped him he would drop it and start putting thought into his looks,

saw this somewhere I don’t remember where they said he would have curly hair as a kid but his mom didn’t know how to take care of it so they ended up shaving it and i think curly or wavy haired Ben would be so cute also he would look amazing with an eyebrow piercing %100 and uhh I genuinely don’t remember him smiling genuinely in canon so i imagine his with a downturned smile I may be wrong about that idk

3 | hobbies

did I make this a separate category just to talk about him being an artist? yes I absolutely did 🙂↕️

I fear most people forgot about it n honestly and that is criminal 

there is not much said about it in canon but I’ll work with what I have,

he probably didn’t have much artistic skills when he was younger and only started doing it as a distraction and a way to calm down n he probably made himself draw

I feel like red projected onto him in that ifykyk😭

but from the picture Ben draws based on things that happen so he diff draws a bunch of random things he sees and thinks its cool, he would draw everything and everyone and I feel his art style would be more realistic tbh

but Ben also plays guitar, plays piano 

, fight, used to sing, and the medic of the group like what else he do?? he is literally perfect what more can I say here but most of these are not really hobbies but skills he had to learn for the sake of his life 

4 | Past & current 

I’ll talk more here about how his past affects him currently,

I love to think he has a fear of fires because of the fire that burned down his house more of a headcanon tbh

see the pan he burned in that official art? it took him half an hour in his room to calm down his heartbeat and gathering around the campfire is the opposite of relaxing for him

probably hates turtlenecks with his being 

and I want to talk about his voice as that affects him the most what really bothers me about the fandom is that a lot of people ignore the fact that he probably will never speak. 

I see plenty of ppl benlor shippers say 

“he would sing for —-🥺“ “he would whisper to comfort—🥺“ n it makes me wonder are we even talking about the same character???? which is absolute bullshit if he did that he is the one that’s gonna need comfort like please. he would probably never speak unless he sees someone's head gets ripped off there body.

It's said flat out in episode 27

That he has the option to speak but he doesn’t why? Because he hates his voice and if he hates his voice sm he chose to not speak for yearsss what makes u think he would speak for the sake of someone else's comfort when doing that only pains him? he is selectively mute for a reason I'm not saying he doesn’t have a voice but at least if u headcanon him to speak in the future at least let it be for his own sake instead of doing it for someone else or make it about ur ship.

5 | Relationship with family 

Starting with his parents I don’t think they are bad parents at all they tried to help him as much as they could but they couldn’t so they opened up other options and let him move away and heal even if he’s not with them I think what the did is a good choice for their situation and their relationship would still be great tbh considering the distance 

now onto Lily

I honestly can talk about them for days. I love them 

Their relationship is so sweet the way Lily is stuck to him every chance she gets and ah also used to sing to her can you imagine how she felt seeing her brother coming home later and later covered in bruises not singing to her to sleep anymore watching him sneak out 

she basically watched her brother spiral down and then leave she was probably too young to really understand what was going on fully so now she just wants to spend all the time she can with him and he tries to make up for lost time :(

now Aiden 

most people probably forgot Aiden is the closest person to Ben and the same goes the other way around.

Aiden is a life long friend of Ben’s

he literally trusts him, follows him everywhere and lets him decide for him 

they spent most of their time together since Ben moved in they live together there stuck together.

Aiden probably helped him a lot mentally helping him try new things and be more carefree

Ben also probably helped him mentally and physically patching him up and looking out for him overall,

I see some Aiden fics that are like “Oh no Ben’s gonna be so upset at me 😖” and they make him act like a nurse, not a friend and he just bandages him up then leaves as if nothing happened and someone else comes and in does all the comforting 

like I can count all the fics where Ben acts like a decent person and I'd still have more fingers up than down,

it’s so upsetting how ignored their relationship is in this fandom they deserve so much more honestly.

6 | Relationship with friends 

he is definitely the therapist friend 

He is that kind of friend that you can tell everything to him going from weird food to the worst time of your life and won't even realize it 

his friendship with Ash is very chill not the closest I'd say,

they're really just trying to keep their peace lmao

his friendship with Taylor

I imagine them as gossip girls tbh Ben being a quiet kid while Taylor is popular they definitely know some good gossip 

his friendship with Tyler is something he used to find him irritating but then he realized they have a lot in common especially when Tyler was teaching him guitar which was precise since he was the one who offered 

and his friendship with Logan 

it's really sweet Logan would try to teach him gardening while they talk about their interests

and be absolute nerds together lmao

overall the friendship between all of them is really sweet ik I didn’t give it justice here but the found family trope and the way they find comfort in each other is just everything to me

And I'm done yappin hope u enjoyed that because that was over 1,5k words 

if u have any questions feel free to ask 🫡

[gotskamstuff]

MY THOUGHTS (THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR AND A BIT TOO LONG) ON THE WHOLE “RUDY IS LEAVING THE SHOW/JJ IS DYING” SPECULATIONS

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who enjoys tv shows and still is very passionate about it but without entering the world of the fandom ‘cause I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that all the things I’ve come to know about the cast in past couple of years have ruined my experience with OBX a little.

Even this whole “JJ is gonna die” speculation, let’s be real it’s not the first time we have discussed this in the fandom and we basically ask ourselves this question every season and yet now it feels different.

I don’t believe speculations coming from unknown sources and I don’t believe in rumors as a solid proof… HOWEVER again I’d be lying if I said that finding out that Josh Pate (one of the main producers of the show) has abruptly unfollowed Rudy and there’s seemingly something that happened between the two, didn’t stir up the fear in me that yeah maybe he could be leaving the show. Because let’s be real, the actors having drama is one thing, but one of the producers cutting ties with you IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.

This is why it feels different this time.

I remember genuinely fearing JJ was gonna die in S2 when in the trailer they showed his head wound and I was incredibly scared about it, but it was a “devastating” fear still with a tingle of excitement about the storyline involving a possible Pogue death and with curiosity on how the story could possibly move forward…but now? Now it feels completely disappointing knowing that IF JJ dies it will be simply because he wanted to leave and honestly it would completely ruin the show for me ‘cause to put it quite frankly I would lose my trust in the story writing.

I am in no way a snowflake when it comes to characters dying in shows, sometimes I even love it ‘cause as devastating as it can be it can also be an amazing shock factor for the show but it needs to be done with purpose both for the story and for the character.

JJ dying for me would ruin the entire show and it’s not just because “omg Jiara” “omg JJ is my favorite character” “omg the show wouldn’t be the same” but because realistically it would ruin the entire arc of his character.

Regardless of who your favorite character is based on personal preferences, objectively speaking JJ is the best written character of the show and one of the characters who was given the most depth and one of the most interesting storylines, there has been a great amount of good writing when it comes to JJ’s character development and a character like him ending with death would be like throwing all that work out of the window.

I think it’s a pretty common thought amongst the fandom that JJ’s arc to end in a right way for his character would be to literally having him live his future that he so badly believed he could never have. For the whole show JJ has projected hos lack of a future and his impossibility to ever have anything good for himself, his entire story and growth was about him overcoming that and accepting he can prove everyone including himself wrong, to then end his character like “syke you actually do not get a future and you never get to live it” would completely destroy the entire arc of his character and nothing about his journey from S1 to S3 would have any meaning whatsoever looking back at it.

And I want to make it clear that IF (once again it’s still all speculations) JJ dies I still would not put ALL the blame on Rudy for leaving ‘cause actors leave shows ALL THE TIME and there’s an endless number of things you could write to take a character out of the picture especially for JJ who always had an element of unpredictability to him.

If Rudy was like “hey listen, I’m done with the show” the producers could have 100% put their foot down and still negotiate something reasonable for both parties to leave the door open on his character like “ok your choice free to go, but we are not killing the character…would you come back for the final 2 episodes of the entire show?”

And JJ could have tooooons of possible scenarios for him to leave: following his dad, breaking up with Kiara and leaving Kildare…the INSTANT they mentioned the surf trip in the show they had the perfect opportunity to use it as an excuse to make both JJ and Kiara or one of the two leave at any point to be lost somewhere in the world offscreen. So no it wouldn’t be all Rudy’s fault ‘cause there’s a lot of ways to mostly get rid of a character without killing him and closing the door for good.

This is probably gonna sound bad but I’d rather see the show end all together with S4 than seeing it getting dragged out for longer and longer meanwhile the main cast slowly leaves one by one and especially if the writing gets more and more superficial for convenience.

I HONESTLY HOPE THAT AFTER S4 ENDS WE’LL LOOK BACK AT THIS TIME WHEN WE THOUGHT RUDY WAS LEAVING THE SHOW AND LAUGH…but I don’t even know what to believe anymore. I didn’t believe it until I saw the producers cutting ties with him which realistically sounds like a “good life and goodbye”.

WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TIME TO S1.

[joejhang]

neil doesn't have a martyr complex

i'm back !!! with another essay about neil josten and how grossly mischaracterised he is by the fandom. i went into this a little bit in my previous essay but would u look at that i have more to say. what else is fucking new. anyway spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk.

a martyr complex is a recognised psychological pattern. it's marked by self-sacrifice and service to others at your own expense. signs of martyr complex include: always needing to be the hero, a lack of self-care, doing too much, having unrealistic values, and doing everything themselves.

above is the google definition of a martyr complex and signs and symptoms of it. i'm now gonna deep dive into why neil does not have a martyr complex and i actually think he doesn't even have sacrificial lamb tendencies like this fandom seems to think.

for the majority of the series, neil literally is the exact opposite of a martyr. i've said it already, but the whole premise of aftg is literally neil staying at psu despite the danger to himself and to others. he is fully and completely aware that him staying at psu and the foxhole court puts himself in the spotlight, allowing his father's people to find him more easily, and also puts all the foxes in danger simply by existing in proximity. he knows that no matter what he says, his father's people (by the time they catch up to him) will want to be 100% certain that no one knows about the butcher of baltimore and the sort of work he does, and they probably wouldn't just take neil's word for it. neil is super realistic and pragmatic and he probably knew that there was a high chance of some or all of the foxes getting killed by his father's people and because of him. despite that, he was willing to take the risk. was it selfish? yeah. and it's a big part of his character arc that he actually finds himself caring enough about the foxes to put himself in danger for them. nevertheless, neil does stay with the foxes out of courage and determination, but a good amount of selfishness also factored into that decision. and he knew it from the beginning. he knew that his actions had repercussions on the foxes, and he knew what sort of business he was dragging them into the whole time, and while he was sorry it fell back on them, he is never sorry for doing what he does (he literally says almost exactly that in canon). despite him saying he doesn't want to gamble with the foxes' lives at the end of tfc, literally everything he does in the next couple of books is a direct contradiction to that. most everything neil does is something of a calculated risk. sometimes it's not even calculated it's just instinctive. normalise having unreliable main characters who can be hypocritical sometimes.

his agreement to go to evermore over christmas wasn't an act of self-sacrifice or martyrdom. andrew likes to describe neil as a martyr but i think we as readers take that too much at face value. andrew says a lot of stuff about neil that we as readers can safely disregard. neil himself doesn't think he's that selfless and honestly i think he's right. his decision to go to evermore over the break was undoubtedly for andrew and to protect him, but i don't think that's really "self-sacrifice". he knew he was gonna have a terrible time but he also knew there was no way r*ko would kill him, not when they were in the messy middlegame of it all. nora specifically says that kevin notes how out of character it was for neil to throw away all of those carefully cultivated survival instincts and in-built fear like that, and he's right. it is out of character. it's a demonstration of neil's inherent desire to be a good person and also his strong moral compass and priorities. r*ko threatened andrew and told neil specifically what would happen to andrew if neil didn't go along, and neil's conscience wasn't gonna let him just walk away like that. especially bc he knew he'd make it out alive, there was really no reason neil would refuse. he was there to protect andrew the same way andrew is willing to protect all his loved ones. it wasn't an act of martyrdom, it was an act of, dare i say, love? kevin clocks neil's feelings specifically because of this decision, and i think it's critical to understand that he doesn't go to evermore out of a need to play the hero or some twisted desire to shoulder other people's burdens, he goes to evermore because he loves and cares about andrew, and also just because inherently there was no way he could sit idle while a threat like that was passed about someone he cared about so much (and also someone who'd protected him that much).

neil's character arc isn't about learning selflessness. this might honestly be a hot take, but i stand firm that neil's character arc is a lot more about courage and learning to care for people than it is self-sacrifice and selflessness. neil says "i realised i didn't want to be that person anymore, i want to go back for you". this isn't actually him saying: "i want to die for you, i would die for you, i would sacrifice myself for you" this is him saying: "i would willingly put myself in danger for you, and for me. i don't want to be someone who ducks and runs and. i don't want to be a coward anymore. i want to go back for you and fight for you because i care about you enough to." for someone who's spent his whole life leaving a bloody trail of bodies behind, this is a pretty reasonable assumption to make, that his arc would be learning how to let people in and learning to care about other people. does neil have a penchant for putting himself in danger willingly for other people? yeah. but let's go a little deeper into that; neil doesn't do it out of a desire to play the hero, a sense of self-service or a lack of self-worth or self-care. he does it because he cares about them. read the series back and realise neil isn't at all averse to being in dangerous situations or even getting into risky ones, but he is very averse to getting attached to and caring about other people. he was raised with a mentality of things being temporary, of cutting his losses and never trusting or caring about anyone except himself. aftg is about him unlearning that, learning to let people in, to trust and care about people, and his actions demonstrate that.

his decision to not run in baltimore was never about sacrificing himself. he was smart enough to know it was too late to run, and also the fact that running would be exactly the opposite of the person he's grown over the course of the series to become. he lets himself get kidnapped because he knows this was coming, and he cares about the foxes and knows they will come to less harm if he goes quietly (see above). his decision to let his father's people take him is very very in-character and it's also just completely reasonable. he knew this was coming and by then he knows that if he was ever gonna run he should've done it months earlier. he decided to stick around and knew this would be the consequences, and i honestly think he's come to terms with it by then. it wasn't a fleeting moment of sacrificing himself for other people, it was just him living out the consequences of his decisions. there was nothing for him to do; he's seen this coming already.

neil's sense of self worth is pretty strong. i already bitched about this to no end in my other essay so i won't go into it rn but just know: neil isn't the jittery, insecure and uncertain softboy the fandom makes him out to be. he's realistic and confident about his and other people's abilities and he harbours zero delusions about what he can and can't do. he also has no trouble standing up for himself. he specifically lets kevin and the cousins treat him like shit in the beginning of tfc bc he doesn't want them to know how much of an instigator he is and we all saw how well that went down. any time after that that anyone tries to have a go at him he literally just tears them a new one and knocks them down a peg and he does it with ease. neil is not a doormat he is not a pushover he doesn't need anyone's help protecting or standing up for him. fucking hell.

GO READ MY OTHER ESSAY ABOUT FANON VS CANON NEIL !!! https://www.tumblr.com/joejhang/765491788140167168/fanon-neil-vs-canon-neil?source=share

[axtivaqe]

Life is strange Double Exposure is NOT canon

So its been getting around that Chloe isn't gonna be in Lis DE and I have never been more devastated in my life. Deck nine said they were going to respect the 2 decisions that players could've made, yet they practically said "fuck you" and took Chloe out of the picture. I just don't understand why though, like 50% of the fanbase picked sacrifice Arcadia bay and it was mainly because we are huge pricefield shippers (idk about y'all but I am). And their not stupid, they know about the pricefield ship and how much people wanted to see Chloe and Max in another game. They literally said they were going to follow through with the original games and the 2 decisions at the end, but then they completely scrap the idea of Chloe and Max being together, and they didn't even want to tell us. People had been asking about Chloes role in DE since the game first got announced, so why would they leave our questions unanswered for so long? It makes no sense on their behalf and its js overall bad marketing, They made it out that Chloe left Max because she didn't want to do long distance, but thats not Chloe at all. Chloe is the girl who dedicated her WHOLE journal to letters for/to Max in before the storm, Chloe is the girl who wrote "and she probably has all new friends up in fucking Seattle, i still miss her. if she came back tomorrow and said "hey Chloe, want to dress up like pirates and be stupid together?" i would take her back in a heartbeat." after she hadn't seen or spoken to her for 3 years, Chloe is the girl who told max that they would last forever and that she would never leave her. They completely mischaracterised her and made the whole sacrifice Arcadia bay option pointless, they spent 10 years together and Chloe throws it away because she cant do temporary long distance? Thats not like her at all. I see people saying "its realistic though, a relationship built from trauma isn't healthy" and it really annoys me, like yes their right, but thats in the real world, its a game about a girl who can jump between realities which isn't realistic at all. And don't even get me started on the rumour about Chloe flirting with VICTORIA.

But the game still isn't out yet, I mean we only have the first 2 episodes and I'm not sure if all of this is confirmed (if it is how do we know when we only have the 2 episodes?) or if people are just taking the 2 episodes and their story line, and then putting the pieces together. I was having a convo with someone in the comments under a yt video by Cucu on Games about how Chloe will be in DE (the video was made 3 weeks ago before all this info came out) and we both thought that maybe Chloe will come back into max's life in one of the last episodes, maybe she misses Max and hears about what happened with her friend Safi and comes to see her and reconnect with her, because surely Deck nine, a huge game company who know what their fanbase wants, wouldn't use false advertising by making us think Chloe is gonna be in the game only to scrap that idea after saying they wanted to respect and follow the two choices players could have made.

Its a really controversial opinion and I've seen a few people say it makes sense and its part of Max's character development, but Id say most of the fanbase isn't happy about this whole thing. I mean of course I'm happy to be able to see Max in another game, and we're lucky to even be getting another lis game. But to make us think we're going to see Chloe and then let us find out that we aren't is just bad marketing. If they never intended to have Chloe in the game then why wouldn't they answer everyones question, 'Is Chloe going to make a physical appearance?' (they would've 100% seen people asking because their social media pages are flooded with the one question about Chloe) Lmk what you think tho, and if you made it all the way through this then thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this long ass rant 😭

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Another Starlo rant + there's some stuff to clarify

this is my reply to the latest post from @a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten bc i feel like he mainly had me in mind when he wrote it, which I don't mind, really. After all, we're both apologists of different characters and i DO respect your opinion. Just wanted to throw my two cents in and clarify some stuff (please read till the end)

Exhibit A (having Moray walk around with a snake in their boot and giving them rashes): I always thought this was some kind of job policy, all bc Star's so ambitious and expected his (future) employees to be the same. He wanted everyone to prove they were "real" cowboys. That's also why everyone had lassons for 8 weeks and he had that kangaroo locked in a cell for sneaking a phone in (although it IS hypocritical that Star himself is allowed to own a TV).

Star expects a lot from everyone because he himself gives it his all to make this town as realistic as possible and makes everybody behave like real cowboys (and imo he thought Moray was fine with having a snake in their boot for a week since they probably didn't complain. Star most likely didn't even know the snake gave them rashes/apologized if Moray had told him this). Honestly he's too obsessed and passionate and can be too much without realizing it, that I can't deny

Exhibit B (The Boulder Droppers): No matter how severe (It IS severe), I still see this as super careless (and super forgetful of Starlo), rather than reckless. Again, another instance where he screws up but there's no ill intent. Also he apologized for this to Gilbert

Exhibit C (blaming Clover for everything that happened and shooting them over it): TRUE 100%

...now, Ceroba was doing her best to understand Starlo and he needed her to get back on the right track, but I still think she views him more as a manchild than someone worthy of respect. I don't hate Ceroba or see her as a heartless bitch and a terrible friend (there's that post of mine where I explained everyone's flaws, and it turns out Starlo is the most flawed of them all, which I admitted). I just think her and Star aren't on the same wavelength.

She WAS on the same wavelength as Chujin and that's why I ship them. Ceroba deeply admired him (still does) and honesty she has the right to love whoever she wants. Still, I can't get out of my head how she thought that her wanting to date Starlo in the past must have had to do with the fact "her brain was still developing," or how she lied to him about the sheriff stuff just to spare his feelings. I get the intentions but she should have told him how she really felt (based on her many annoyed faces I got the message Roba never liked any of this + she says she doesn't understand it). I genuinely saw it as her babysitting/pitying him for his childish fantasies instead of actually enjoying participating in the antics (she does like observing the five tho)

And yeah, everyone (Ed, Ace, Mooch, Moray, Ceroba) knew Starlo ADORED westerns, obviously, but what they DIDN'T know or try to figure out is the deeper meaning as to WHY. I feel like everybody thought it was simply a childish fantasy and didn't stem from any deeper insecurities (the FF, just like Starlo, aren't very good with communicating their feelings; why else would they criticise Starlo right in the middle of town where everyone could hear them instead of going someplace private to have the talk)

HOWEVER!

List of Starlo's character flaws I believe he has: insecure, overly enthusiastic, careless (not reckless bc he doesn't intent to cause chaos), cocky, too obsessed with his status & social image, arrogant, mischievous (particularly with Blackjack), childish, needs too much external validation, uses escapism too much, people pleaser, wants to be everyone's "hero," ignorant, naive, too optimistic, overbearing, too ambitious, stubborn, emotional & sensitive to criticism, too obsessed to the point he ignores everyone and everything else, actually IS selfish (I wanna take this opportunity to correct myself. Starlo should have listened to his posse and not have snapped like that & dismissed what they had to say, but they should have also let him know how they felt way earlier and tried to understand Star's pov & deeper insecurities he has & should have not publicly lectured him since they SHOULD know how much he wants to protect the reputation he worked hard to earn. Everyone should have reacted differently)

We don't know what Starlo was like before Clover but based on the way none of his posse ever talked smack about him, gave him dirty looks, or overall acted like they didn't wanna be part of the team, I assumed they either didn't mind his enthusiasm before he got obsessed with Clover, or kept their frustrations with his passion hidden well and didn't choose to communicate at all with him about how they really feel.

As for Star himself, I just don't see him as having been a bad boss. Ed even said how he would always ask him nicely to do stuff, and Dina explains how the only arguments the five of them had were about trivial matters, and how things were pretty predictable before Clover. So I don't think he had made any huge fuck ups. The five were always together in all their shenanigans (Dina says they're like siblings) and Ceroba mentions how she hasn't seen Star "this ecstatic in some time". Which is why I think he didn't step outta line or mistreat others before his dream of meeting a human came true.

HOWEVER #2!

I just remembered a single line of dialogue from Ed, which suggests that Star might have been more bossy than I thought and didn't actually ever ask his posse about their opinions. If this is the case, and probably is because Ceroba says he had changed a lot, scratch that stuff I said before about him not being a bad boss

He acts selfish because he's insecure, but I still shouldn't have used that as an excuse. It's interesting how he's got both selfishness and selflessness inside him at the same time, but yeah, bc of his undeniable charm I overlooked the selfishness part. guilty as charged

time to add that and his bossiness as another one of star's many flaws

Another thing: while all of Ceroba's flaws seem to come from the tragedy that had struck her (besides being stubborn), every single one of Starlo's flaws stem from him and how he feels about himself. He had a normal family, a best friend, and his own friend group, with whom he could discuss his nerdy interests. I think THIS is what makes him so loveable. He techincally doesn't have a real REASON to feel unhappy, but he did, before he became 'North Star' But that persona was exactly WHAT he needed to let go of to be himself and be truly happy

I once jokingly mentioned how Starlo's name could mean "Star + loser" and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense for his arc. He wants to be 'North Star' (all cool and badass and important), but in reality, the real him is just a nice guy who loves his friends. And even if that doesn't make him popular and a loser farmer instead, at least that is the real him who he shouldn't have been running away from

I do love when my fave character ain't perfect and has inner conflicts to work on

To conclude this rant, I want to apologize to the Four and Ceroba for not taking into consideration their pov more and being way too obsessed with this charming nerd

also, @a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten, your rant gave me much to rethink and for that I thank you

[aurorawest]

I finished The Mars House last night and have been trying to gather my thoughts beyond ADJFAWEHDHA; and AHHHHHHHH. Let's see how this works out.

In a lot of ways this is a pretty typical Natasha Pulley book, which makes you love complicated people who have done bad things, possibly for good reasons and possibly not. The love interest is to all appearances a xenophobic nationalist, but you better believe I loved Gale pretty much immediately.

In other ways this book is different from her past work��obviously there's the far future setting, but it's pretty clear that Pulley wanted to Say Something about gender with The Mars House. This book is a response to and shots fired at the terf ideology and it is not at all subtle about it. And of course, it's a Natasha Pulley book, so there's still empathy for the far-future Martian terfs.

So I would definitely call it the most...political? of her books, which for me was not at all a bad thing. It has everything that I love about Pulley novels—her gorgeous use of language, her ability to wring beauty and pathos out of the small and ordinary, the gay pining, the morally dubious main characters. I've seen reviews say both that the science is ridiculous and that the book is hard science fiction, and I would come down on the side of the science probably being a bit ridiculous, since it's definitely not hard science fiction (lol at the reviewers who are throwing that term around and not knowing what it means). I actually have no idea if the science is plausible or not and I honestly don't care, because that's really not the point of the book.

Anyway, now I'm just going to list things. Doing a read more for spoilers! And I'm not joking, I'm going to spoil the whole book under here so really, if you haven't read it and you care about that, don't keep reading.

The worldbuilding was so good. I mean, this is one of Pulley's strengths, but I had wondered how it would stack up in a sci fi novel versus her historical fiction. As usual, everything was so visceral and textured. Tharsis and Songshu feel like real places I could visit.

THE MAMMOTHS OMG OMG. When they decided to ask the mammoths for help pulling up the gravity train, I almost jumped up from the couch yelling (I would have, but I couldn't disturb my cat who was on my legs). The entire idea of communicating with mammoths and studying mammoth society almost made me cry. Having spent even a tiny amount of time around elephants in the wild, all of that rang 100% plausible. And true in my heart.

I need a sequel where River and January go to Alpha Centauri to talk to the aliens that the Penglai mission is going to find there.

I'M ABOUT TO SPOIL THE ENTIRE BOOK SO DON'T READ ANYMORE IF YOU DON'T WANT THAT.

Speaking of River, yeah I guessed that "Aubrey" was actually River. The clues were well done and I felt smug when I was right.

But!! I actually thought River knew more than they did! A literal chill went up my back when River revealed they had NO IDEA AUBREY WAS LITERALLY IN THEIR ROOM WITH THEM.

The scene in River's bathtub had me screaming crying throwing up.

Is Natasha Pulley working through something re: waifish orphans? I knew Yuan was going to end up being adopted into House Song within pages of their (his?) introduction.

I love that we never find out if River is biologically male or female. I love that January says it doesn't matter and he means that and never tells us.

Speaking of gender abolition, can I have that please for myself.

All of the animals were, as always, a delight. Shoutout to the puffin at the beginning who we never see again, as well as Shuppiluliuma in her basket.

The ancient Mediterranean references littered through this book (see above) were also a delight.

When you think about it, both of Aubrey's consorts fell for River, and that's funny.

The flashes of love between River and Aubrey were devastating.

The haptic implants are a dystopian nightmare and absolutely a realistic prediction of where we're going to end up.

Mori and Daughter!!

[rewrite-this-story]

I know no one watches this show, and that's really unfortunate, but I have so many thoughts about Smash that I want to share, so you all get to either hear them or ignore this post entirely. I don't really care which.

First of all, Megan Hilty is an absolute queen!! I wish her name was more well known on Broadway because wow. Her voice is so powerful and I cry every time I hear her sing don't forget me. And I actually love ivy as a character with all my heart. She's beautiful and strong and so interesting. Yeah, she's flaws and human, but she tries so hard. I was so happy when she started getting the recognition she deserved in season 2. She makes mistakes, but then she gets back up every time. I also think she had incredible potential for directing and would have like to see that explored. She just deserved better in general.

I also don't like Karen at all. Not only is she kinda boring as a character, but she's not nearly as talented as everyone seems to think. Yeah, she's pretty and has a gorgeous voice, but she's really just a so-so actress and dancer. Her songs rarely make me feel anything like Ivy's do. At the end of season 1, I only cried during her version of don't forget me because I felt Ivy's frustration so deeply. Also, Karen is kinda rude and arrogant. Like, she has no clue how theater works but acts like everyone else is constantly out to get her just because they're asking her to do something differently. She can't remember her blocking and then complains that people don't like her. And she's so sensitive. No one can tease her or even comment anything that isn't 100% positive about her without her getting upset. Furthermore, Ivy's an interesting character who makes us really care about her because of how hard she tries and fails only to get back up again. Then, they throw in her past and emotional trauma and struggles with addiction. It's really hard not to care about and root for her. Why should I care about Karen? I liked hit list only because of Jimmy, Kyle, and even Anna. Karen didn't matter at all to me because she didn't really have to struggle or fight for anything. She was kinda just along for the ride.

Third thing, Derek sucks and is super problematic, but it was nice to see him stay to grow and improve. I would've liked to see where season 3 might've taken him. I do really like his relationship with Ivy because she calls him out on stuff, and he actually listens to her. It was dumb that he never saw how truly incredible an actress she was. They would have made a great team after she really became more sure of herself and he realized how awful he was. His obsession with Karen was really weird, but I like to imagine he probably got over it by the end of season 2.

Tom and Julia were interesting, but I was actually happy to see them split at the end of everything. She always kind of took advantage of him and it bothered me. He also deserved a real relationship story, but I'm not surprised he didn't get one since he was a gay character in 2012. His relationship with Kyle was kinda creepy and Kyle should've dated either Sam or that dancer we saw him flirting with earlier in the season. Either one of those would've been less uncomfortable. Him and Sam were also never really a good match. Plus, he did Sam kinda dirty in season 2. But yeah, he should've gotten a good relationship.

I do think Sam should've gotten the lead in hit list. He deserved it, Jimmy didn't. Jimmy did a good job, obviously, but he wasn't reliable and was really uncooperative. He could've just given feedback as a writer instead of being the lead actor. I get why they did it the way they did for the TV show, but realistically, it just didn't make sense.

Kyle's death was awful. I wish we saw more of him. I think his relationship and history with Jimmy was interesting, I think it should've been explorers more instead of Jimmy and Karen, who's relationship was kinda predictable and overused. It would've been nice to see him and Jimmy sing together sometime. I wish he sang a few more songs in general because he has a really cool sound.

Jimmy and Derek also could've had a really interesting relationship if it hadn't centered around Karen as much as it did. I think they could've really helped each other. Jimmy didn't take any bullshit and Derek didn't put up with any bullshit, so they could've kept each other in line. Derek also saw something in Jimmy that few people did and I think it would've been neat to see him become a bit of a mentor.

Finally, Derek and Tom had so much potential that was never explored. Their history and their future are so unclear, but I have so many questions.

So yeah, I really did enjoy the show. It's not the most incredible show ever made, but it was fun and interesting. It's a shame it only got two seasons. I kinda blame the marketing team since so few people know it ever existed.

[sepublic]

Haha we meme on Stilgar as the funny "LISAN AL-GAIB" man but tbh I think there's a lot of nuance towards his character arc in how he doesn't really start off that way? In the context of Part 2, I mean. Because I think of how early in the film he approaches Jessica about becoming Reverend Mother, and he pretty blatantly acknowledges that Paul isn't necessarily the Lisan al-Gaib; The way Stilgar has to basically strong arm Jessica into agreeing doesn't come across as a fanatical worshipper appealing to his gods. He knows he holds power over these outsiders and he's blunt about it behind closed doors, more or less admitting that he isn't 100% sure but this Lisan al-Gaib figure is very useful for helping the Fremen overthrow their oppressors, so that's where Stilgar is throwing his lot.

It reminds me of a lot of the discussion regarding the Catholic church, particularly in regards to stuff like Galileo. I remember a lot of the mainstream assumption being that the Pope and his followers were superstitious guys who were genuinely afraid of deviating from the Bible, but then actual historians came around and painted a more realistic picture; In the end, it wasn't that they necessarily thought the sun went around the earth. It was that by challenging what the church decreed, Galileo challenged their authority and made them seem weaker; And so they had to double down on their geocentric understanding of the universe to defend that. Similarly, King James I didn't necessarily believe in witches, but they did provide a handy boogeyman to rally his people against, and make himself seem like a more legitimate leader.

That's how I see Stilgar, as he starts off; He doesn't necessarily worship the Lisan al-Gaib, but he believes that a messianic figure is just the kick the Fremen need to rally together and defeat their colonizers. Everybody loves a martyr, after all. He might chant about the Mahdi, but his priority has always been the Fremen people, and he is their true leader, with Paul being the puppet face he's pushing everyone into paying attention to.

The scene where Paul denies being the Mahdi, only for Stilgar to be like "Omg the Mahdi is so humble that means he is the Mahdi!!!" feels less like he actually thinks this, and more like... He's bullshitting his way into interpreting whatever Paul does, even if it seems fairly anti-Mahdi, as proof that he's the guy the Fremen need. Paul denouncing the idea was pretty inconvenient but Stilgar found a way to make it work; I guess it’s like how Jessica is also trying to push an unwilling Paul to embrace his role, but for different reasons. And Paul and Stilgar seem much more in tune with one another over how far they’ll go, because they’re much more in agreement about this being for the sake of the Fremen; Indeed, before he drinks the Water of Life, Paul seems to begrudgingly go along because he’s been convinced that it will help these people that he realizes he cares about too, which leads to his outburst at his mother when he feels her motives are insincere (unlike Stilgar’s).

So Stilgar is, for a while, the actual leader of the Fremen, and he is knowingly using Paul and Jessica for his people's freedom, without being aware that he's falling for the Bene Gesserit's propaganda to begin with. He thinks it can't be that bad, he's got a handle on it, but Chani knows better. And I should clarify that I don't blame Stilgar for this, he is an indigenous leader fighting back against colonization who desperately needs what he can get, and Paul and Jessica do end up colonizing the Fremen themselves.

Plus, he's still fairly decent to Paul himself, because even if Stilgar doesn't necessarily consider him the messiah, he still views Paul as an ally that can help the Fremen; That's how he becomes a friend to Paul. When Stilgar pulls Paul over and reassures him not to get a Sandworm too big, everyone already believes in him, it feels like they’re both in on the mutual secret that Paul isn’t necessarily the messiah but he IS a rallying figure for the Fremen, so they both play into that for the sake of the Fremen, right? There’s still enough of a level field that Stilgar can pull over the Mahdi for a private conversation away from the others about something potentially scandalous, rather than the other way around.

But then that friendship is ruined, because somewhere along the way Stilgar sees Paul's achievements rack up, and get closer and closer, in an uncanny way, to the prophecy; And Stilgar begins to think, Oh hey that's actually just like what was written. Okay that's only what a Lisan al-Gaib could do. Holy shit I think he might actually, literally, be a magical chosen one. And now Stilgar is willing to eat his own shit for Paul if the Lisan al-Gaib told him to. And that's why Paul mourns their lost friendship, because you can't have a real friendship with such an inherent power imbalance between worshipper and their God.

And it's all pretty sad to me, that Stilgar started off as a dude basically entertaining what he acknowledges may be a white lie, for the sake of his people... Only to find himself realizing this 'white lie' might be the real deal, and being so caught up in that revelation that before he knows it, he now prioritizes the Lisan al-Gaib over the Fremen this guy was supposed to be for. I think of how Stilgar kneels to sacrifice himself so Paul can become leader, as tradition; But then Paul says no, and Stilgar defies his own Fremen tradition because the Lisan al-Gaib told him to.

He lost sight of who this was supposed to be about, and that's why Stilgar sees nothing wrong with leading his fellow Fremen off of their homeworld to die fighting a bunch of strangers on foreign worlds. He doesn't object to Paul holding hostage their own way of life. He wasn't exactly superstitious, or at least Stilgar had people he prioritized over those beliefs; But when you see so many miracles, you begin to fear the divine and hold it above all else. Stilgar and Paul both felt the need to push this Lisan al-Gaib idea as a necessary evil, the only way to help the Fremen out of their dilemma, only to become fanatical mad men by the end of it. Maybe the idea of a Messiah seemed an easy lie, a safer and more practical way out of colonialism; But it ended up being colonialism but with a different, unrecognizable face. Because despite the promise to liberate Arrakis from the Harkonnens, the Fremen ended up worshipping a Harkonnen.

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @a-canceled-stamp

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Uhhhh... 99, I think. AO3 shows 100, but one is a translated work.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Minus the translated work, 570,446

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Batman, primarily. I also have just a couple Marvel fics, because Endgame made me mad.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Emergency Contact

The Return

If the Sky Comes Falling Down (For You)

A Child of the Manor

Nature and Nurture

That is a wild list with a wild order, to me.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to respond to every comment, religiously. Less so now because it feels spammy to just paste variations on "Thanks!" But if there's a specific piece of a comment I think I can reply to, I try to. And I do read them all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

lol. Um. Maybe The morning and what came after?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think most of my fics end happily, so I throw this question back to those reading. What's my happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not as bad as a lot of people, but yeah. I also maintain my boundaries pretty aggressively, so it doesn't stay for long.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah. I've only written one non-Gen fic, and all they do is kiss once.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Only once. They don't interest me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once. If it has happened again, I don't know about it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! Super cool. Here it is.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I would love to collab sometime :3

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

In fic? I don't really read for ships, if I'm honest. @audreycritter's Jimmy and Talia is the only exception I can think of.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Ghost. Poor, poor Ghost.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm. From my point of view, I'm good at:

Putting words in the right order. This sounds like a cop-out, but truly. The same words in a slightly different order can change the entire implication of a phrase. It can also wildly disrupt the rhythm of a sentence or paragraph. I think I'm at least cognizant of those two things and do my best to put the right words in the right order.

Realism. Or as realistic as fictional superheroes doing things can be? Maybe practical is a better word. Or sensible. I want my fics and the things people do in them to make sense.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plots. I don't want to write a book, I want to write a fic. I'm here for the emotions and the dynamics.

Logistics. Because of how much I like realism, that means I have also have to deal in logistics, but I am horribly bad at picturing anything spatial. And there are so many DANG PEOPLE in this family that I've chosen to write. It's a struggle.

Keeping it brief. I like words. My sentences are so friggin complex.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't know what this question means.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

BatFam. :) My first fic on AO3 was my first fic.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

I have different favorites for different reasons. If I had to close my eyes and point, right now I'd say White Lighters/Afterglow.

I'll give a no-pressure tag to @frownyalfred @audreycritter @imbecamiel

[rose-of-pollux]

SO

Saw BTTF the musical two times in as many days (originally was supposed to see just today’s matinee, but I arrived early enough yesterday to be like “This is my last chance, why not see it twice?” and saw last night’s show, as well. Behold, the highlights—

I saw Roger with Casey last night and Roger with JJ Niemann today; Casey and JJ are both amazing Martys

Roger has a new bit as Doc; after saying he remembers vividly what happened on November 5th, he just spaces out momentarily trying to recall until he is successful. Took me by surprise and I was cackling, but thankfully I was far from the only one 😆

I thought I was prepared for the Main(e) house bit. Casey threw in a random nonsequiter into it: “My grandmother is a psychiatrist.” It was SO out of left field that Roger broke, which prompted a “Why are you laughing, Doc?? This is serious!!” We are all laughing at this point.

Roger got his revenge in the next scene, throwing out a random “Your great-grandmother taught me yoga.” The randomness of it coupled with the lore implications made me let out the most ungodly shriek of laughter; I was in row three—there was no way they missed that, and if either of them end up seeing this, I am so sorry 😅

In both shows, there was a lesbian couple at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. Would they have been realistically out in 1955? Probably not. Was it still awesome? ABSOLUTELY. Also kudos for having Strickland, of all people, not even batting an eyelash and instead continuing to police the heterosexual couples.

JJ had his own banter going with Roger, which was also great—there was an extended “Wait, what?”/“Weight?? What??” routine that was just as priceless.

I was also cackling at Roger basically chasing JJ around the DeLorean when he had the plutonium in one hand, waving him away with the other. 100% in character for both of them.

Added angst, which I am also always here for: just after Doc tears and trashes Marty’s warning note and just before the cable snaps, when JJ did the “I’ll tell you straight out!” line, Marty grabs Doc by the shoulders, and Doc responds by just shoving him away in frustration. Like this has to be the first time Doc, his mentor and best friend, who has been nothing but supportive and encouraging up until now, has ever done anything like that—and Marty doesn’t even get the time to process that, as the cable then snaps and they have to split up. But that moment is now Canon to me, and I absolutely have to pick it apart in a future fic.

There was an auction after the show for two puffy red vests signed by the whole cast with the proceeds going to Broadway Cares Equity Fights AIDS—the winning bid was $1500 for each one, far more than I could’ve afforded, so kudos to them, at any rate.

…I did, however, make a smaller donation to get a full-cast signed Playbill, which I shall treasure always.

As I guessed, as sad as I am about the show leaving Broadway, I know I will carry the inspiration it gave me forever 💜

[d8tl55c]

scene of programmer021 throwing together the code for the first TCOs: "what if i just give them 100% in all stats lmao."

releases one into a sandbox*

sandbox bricked irretrievably within 3 minutes

ho-ly shit.

..... that's hilarious.

they try like ten more times, each with the same outcome. the little worm is good at what it does, scary good, and programmer is grateful that they went the extra mile with the sandbox layer of protection from it.

at a safe distance, the TCOs are brilliant sparring partners.

*(basically a mini computer running inside of (but held separately from) another computer) (used to test new features without risking a whole system)

it looks at them.

on the twelfth go, they've learned enough of its tricks to have more of a chance. both of them take a moment after a long scuffle to catch their breaths. the stick figure gasps on the floor - it's amazing! so lifelike! and programmer is celebrating this little victory for the field of recreational AI right up until

TCO #12 turns its hollow face out through the screen, looking at them.

programmer is unsettled.

can it see them?

their webcam is off.

surely it's impossible?

right?

and yet, it seems to see them regardless, because not only does it react to their reaction (little twitches eerily realistic, how did their program know to do those things), it capitalizes on their shock. it springs to its feet while they're still open-mouthed and reaches the walls of the sandbox window (which programmer had been herding them away from at all costs), crashing against the side, rebounding, and hitting them again and again.

programmer flails to reconnect to their Cursor (you know when you forget where it is and have to wave it around before you can use it again? like that, but with even more panic, confusion, and imminent peril).

there are cracks in a multitude of funny colors forming at the edge of the sandbox instance. pieces of the window dent out of its normal bounding box. The Chosen One adapts instantly, focusing its hits toward the weak points.

WTF! this has gone way too far.

programmer's Cursor swoops around from out of nowhere and catches the TCO by the base of its head. it tries to breathe fire and only manages strangled puffs of smoke. its legs kick the air. where once it was so elegant and poised it twists and writhes-

programmer drops it.

they feel cold.

their Cursor retreats outside the walls of the sandbox PC, clicking into the main system's File Explorer. already open is the folder with this sandbox, its partition of storage, and setup files inside.

they click it. press Delete on their keyboard.

the TCO tries to stand. it pushes through a dizzy spell, one hand holding the spot under its head that must be its neck, and sprints toward the breach it was working on.

a confirmation pane appears, from the process responsible for running the sandbox.

its arms are strong, but the more TCO_12 struggles the more it's clear that this wall would need way more firepower and concerted effort... and time... to break. it's out of time. it realizes this.

are you sure you want to end this process? ALL data will be lost.

programmer sees when it loses hope, because it abandons the wall. it abandons the whole game: the pride and dignity it fought with, the play-pretend that it held any real power here. it turns outward again, toward the screen. small hands slam against the barrier between them, knock-knocking faster, faster, please please please, its legs shake and give out but it keeps knocking, on its knees, please please please please PLEASE

the sandbox is deleted.

the window that displayed it freezes, lighting up too-bright and desaturated.

a snapshot of the TCO is frozen in place, begging for...

begging for what? it was never meant to know anything. to want anything. how did it know there was anything outside its reality to want?

or was it simply afraid to die?

Windows catches up, and sweeps the frozen program away.

programmer021 is left alone with the spot where TCO_12 used to be.

their friends want to play with their latest stick figures. they were supposed to update today.

programmer numbly uploads the most recent release build they have. killer and BEAST were fun to work on. they'll warn everyone not to touch TCO until.... until programmer works out how to... until ever, and if one of them does, it'll be their own fault.

[little-cereal-draws]

Details I noticed in The Last Wish

During the bar fight in the beginning when Death has Puss cornered, Puss's pupils rapidly dilate/constrict as Death approaches

When team friendship is riding in the cart away from Jack's henchmen right after they steal the map, Kitty brings up Santa Coloma. The music then changes to the Santa Coloma theme (what they play during all the romantic scenes) and it works surprisingly well as chase music lol

Also during that sequence, Jack's henchmen are firing flaming arrows at them. The one hat hits the map also lights Perrito's head on fire

Kitty rolls her eyes when Puss dramatically throws all the money one the ground to block the way of the archers at the end of the chase. In the next scene when they unroll the map, Puss rolls his eyes when Kitty says that she knew the words were going to take a second to appear even though she was clearly lying. They get on each other's nerves <3

When they're going through the Pocket Full of Posies in the Dark Forest, the flowers bunch up thicker when Perrito tells his backstory. He just pauses and smells them between lines, and they dissipate but it would be really interesting if that was a test. They know he's recounting traumatic and scary memories so they're testing to see if he gets bogged down in it or violent or anything like that but he stays in the moment and appreciates life so they let him through

When the three bears crime family are in the illusion of their cabin, Mama holds up a bowl and says, "Look, Goldi, porridge! And it's made just the way you like it." Baby, who's in the back says, "No matter how you make it, she doesn't like it" and then walks away stuffing his face lol Peak sibling dynamic and a lovely little nod to the original fairytale

When the illusion/flashback of baby Goldi is coloring in her fairytale book at the table, she's humming the chorus' theme from Favorite Fearless Hero

When team friendship and the crime family are fighting over the map up in the air, Perrito launches himself on a pot of honey. It gets stuck on Goldi's head, with Perrito still on it, and as they fall out of the sky, he says, "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!" Such a good boy

When Kitty confronts Puss at the Wishing Star, she says she was going to wish for someone she could trust. When she says, "I thought it was you" her eyes get glossy but she forces the tears away for the next lines

During the final battle, and the fight against the Posies too, Jack makes sound effects for all his weapons. "Pew, pew, pew!" "Die, die, die!" "Blow up already!" Lots of commentary from him lol

This next one isn't a specific moment bc it's prevalent throughout the whole movie, but all the characters are always 100% engaged. They're always reacting to what the other characters are doing/saying even if they're in the background, not involved in the conversation, or not a major character. No one is ever just standing there waiting for their turn to speak. It really makes the movie a lot more realistic and highlights the amount of thought, care, and detail that went into this movie

Part two, Part three, Part four, Part five

Perrito's head on fire: