#I know it's hard to live out of fanon sometimes but let's try ok

[bidisasterevankinard]

I know it's controversial, but, people, nothing Tommy does in canon is out of character. Because there's barely a real character traits exlored. Love it or not, the picture you created in you mind over the summer is not what we might see in canon if Tommy is back

So yes, it might be breaking timeline for Tommy to be Abby's Tommy, but IT IS NOT out of character for him to use her

Right now this situation actually is making Tommy's character more layered, with more backstory. With more flaws

[schrodingers-tits]

Ok! I’m gonna mainly discuss the mental disorders he has and explain how they affect him

So first, we know about Tweek’s addiction from his parents. In my canon, they decided on Tweek’s seventh birthday that their son is old enough to help out with their business. This includes taste testing coffee, which is canonized in TFBW. Eventually, Tweek started to REALLY want to drink the coffee a lot because he gets a weird, tingly, funny feeling when he drinks it. Drinking so much coffee for someone so little caused some big problems, like the obvious anxiety/paranoia, acne, restlessness, and ✨ psychosis ✨

Anxiety disorder: the most obvious disorder. Any distressing event can cause a lot of pressure on tweek and make it hard for him to function. Because of this, Tweek has to constantly live in a state of fear and has multiple panic attacks a day. Luckily, Craig tries to comfort him and seems to work wonders on Tweek’s anxiety.

Paranoid personality disorder: the other obvious one. It’s very, very hard for tweek to perform some tasks because he worries he’ll get hurt. Tweek does research on some of these disasters to see what he can do to prevent it or stay safe. Chances are you’ll need to reassure him that he’s likely to be okay during these.

Adhd: in Gnomes, Mrs tweak claims the reason her son is so hyper is because of ADHD. It’s heavily implied that she said this as a cover up, but I still headcanon tweek to have this because I have it too and I like to self project. Tweek canonically has trouble focusing, so this could mean he might just have ADHD. The hyperactivy isn’t something to care about because of the coffee.

And now, disorders tweek doesn’t canonically have but does have in my canon:

Autism: more self projection. Tweek stims a lot mostly to let anxiety out. His special interests are Pokémon, Lego’s and animals. Funnily enough the first and third are mine too. Tweek is sensitive to loud noises, so he sometimes wears noise cancelling headphones. In my rehab AU, Tweek enters a large burnout, sleeps often, acts more soft (trying not to fanonize him, he’s just been through a lot) and is often semiverbal. He also has many meltdowns instead of anxiety attacks in this AU.

Depression: yes, even tweek gets depressed often. If Tweek loses someone or does something that makes him “hate (his) brain”, chances are hell lie in his bed all do and do barely anything. Unfortunately, he (as a teenager) has hurt himself on purpose (usually burning himself his coffee or repeatedly hitting his head on a wall) and attempted a few times. Pro tip: bring Stripe to Tweek during a depressive episode. You won’t regret it.

Epilepsy: so. Meth can cause seizures. Autism is often comorbid with epilepsy. So, if an autistic kid drinks coffee repeatedly ever since he was seven, it’s likely something bad will happen to your brainwaves. If Tweek gets very, VERY stressed, he might seize. His epilepsy seemed to have formed when he was eleven, and it got bad a year later and he almost died from a long seizure.

There’s probably more I headcanon him to have but I can’t seem to remember them well on the top of my tongue. So, in conclusion, Tweek needs a hug.

oooo! I love these so much. Personally, I also headcanon (well, semi-canon) him to have Tourette’s, due to his tics. I, myself, suffer from tics, and his ‘tweaking’ is very reminiscent of these. The way he just moves past them when talking like they didn’t happen at all is very tic-disorder-behavior.

Another one (this one definitely more headcanon-y) is cognitive/motor disinhibition. Tweek obviously suffers from paranoia, however, from the description of cognitive disinhibition, it could tie in as well. The unwanted thoughts that keep a person from focusing sounds very Tweek-like.

Next: mania. This is tied into his coffee/meth addiction, however he shows signs of it when he doesn’t have coffee. This is clearly withdrawal of sorts, but it leads to a manic-like state.

The last one is OCD. Tweek’s paranoia is a part of the reason why I believe this, though I’m not sure how canon it is. It’s more of a headcanon, as his anxiety is almost parallel to that of people I know with OCD and anxiety. Again, there isn’t much proof that I have stored in my brain, but it is more a headcanon.

Good talk!! :) /gen

[daydreamerdisease]

So this is a thought post to this lovely podcast episode featuring @sleepstxtic on the @fanficmaverickpodcast about the POC experience in fandom. I don't actively listen to podcasts much, but she shared about it in the @harrypocter discord server and had me intrigued (which I HIGHLY reccommend you check out)!

Podcast episode here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4B79Q1LLzt96tcLTjec84v?si=7hYs-rxAQDSp4LToiv7i4w

I'm adding my thoughts below a read more, because it can get long, but please let me know if there is a more accessible way to do it!

Note: I have shit memory and I'm hard of hearing. So there will be no quotes because, unfortunately, there are no transcripts (a convo for another time about disability and fandom maybe?). I'll try my best to be concise and not misrepresent anything said but, please do correct me if I say something wrong!

Most of this is not in any particular order to the podcast itself, and definitely just the tip of the iceberg of this topic, so there is absolutely so much left unsaid. Please feel free to add your own thoughts, experiences, etc.

First off, it's unsurprising and I agree, but it is interesting that we don't tend to read fic that are specifically about POC even though we do enjoy the idea overall as POC. I do have to wonder how much of that has to do with the fact that we are not already written into canon itself and how that might affect how we interact with fanon/headcanons? It might be different depending on the fandom, but for HP, the few characters we do get are certainly not the ones we focus on overall. It is kind of changing with Harry (and James, typically) being headcanoned as Desi, though!

I have to agree though, that fanfic isn't really about being the most "correct" representation of anything, and that fandom is not inherently activism. It can certainly help facilitate it (see Fandom Trumps Hate, for example) but ultimately it's about having fun and engaging with the works and others who enjoy it, whether fanon or canon. Not even us POC are 100% actively trying to include the "best" representation in all our works all the time. Sometimes it isn't about that at all, sometimes it's the entire point of a piece of work. But it varies and can be a bit of a spectrum of inclusion! And that's ok.

I also loved the point about how there is no one specific representation that is going to indicative of everyone's experience. Humans are so diverse. There are certainly things that are going to hit more people than others (and things we can conclude is offensive too usually) but wholly universal experiences don't really exist for a lot of, if not most, POC. I believe when you narrow it down, by things like where you're living and stereotypes that most people know, it can get very specific. But POC are not a monolith and neither are their experiences.

I absolutely vibe with the idea of seeing the richness in culture within fandom though?? It's one of the ways that I absolutely engage in fandom myself. Whether for perspectives on being POC, things like sexuality and gender, and including all the intersections. I really do think the HP fandom pockets I've been part of are some of the most diverse and richly creative spaces I've been in?? Sometimes they are niche corners but not always! It is just so vast, has touched so many parts of the world, which means that the creators are diverse too. Even if we don't write it explicitly into our work, it can influence it, because of who we are.

I do think that fandoms like HP are kinda unique for being that way though. It is so huge and long lasting (maybe even immortal lol) and not a lot of fandoms are like it. It has been given the time and space to grow, to change, and for the people in it to do so.

But also the idea of using fandom/fanfic as a medium for being diverse when we're surrounded by things that are not that way is absolutely amazing. Whether you're POC or not, it is deliberately creating a space for that diversity!

It makes it possible for some of us, like sleepstxtic and I, to even realize we can see ourselves in these fanworks we consume. That we can freely create them and tangibly be part of this space we're in.

Also, the absolute enjoyment of sharing culture with each other!! Of learning together, of creating a space to learn, is so important. Especially for those of us who are sometimes disconnected from our family's cultures or heritage, who are more assimilated, etc etc for so many reasons. It is so important to be able to question and learn from each other. Especially using characters like Harry, for instance, who is so painfully wrenched away from his culture. We might not always find someone with our 1:1 experience but it does open the door for being able to find connection to our own heritage and culture. It can be painful and absolutely lonely and finding that place within fandom can be so healing. 😭

I definitely think we are still growing as a fandom, we have plenty more to learn when it comes to encouraging and including POC and what we have to give to the fandom, but I am happy to see us having these conversations!

And I loved learning about sleepstxtic's culture during this podcast, the way she fell into writing fanfic, and the thoughtfullness put into it. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us!

I hope you all check out the podcast episode but either way, what are your thoughts and experiences? I'd love to hear what other people have to say, whether negative or positive, and if you wanna share your favorite POC-centric fanfic/fanart recs...

👀 I won't turn those away!

[theblackbirdsgemimagines]

Ramble away, cause I feel the twisted head rot, I kinda wanna see what you think about our bois. ~ a pocket sized dragon hops in excitement.

A POCKET SIZED DWAGOOOOOONNNN 😭💞💞💞 That’s so BLESSED, and tysm omg, I’m very glad to just spill out my barking on every boy, bc yEAH THE BRAIN ROT SKDHAKDB

THE BRAIN ROT IS SO REAL LOL

Everything I breathe ends up relating to TWST in some way, like at this point just let me take my friends, cousins, and pets, and of course Lulu and Seb, and I will have 1. A Gottdamned Harem, 2. So Many Children, and 3. NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. Kwfhskdhjwek

Ok this is gonna be long bc I gotta cover all my boys, so rip lol.

Dorm Leads:

Riddle

GOD, my Fucking Baby, my CHILD, my SWEET BABY BOY, I’M 👁💧👄💧👁

I would die for him, beetch, he is PRECIOUS ♥️

He reminds me of how I feel Ciel would behave if S/O took the place as Sebastian’s contracee, too, so like 🥺 Lots of feels 😭

Is Son, I have adopted him now. If you mistreat him, don’t ever speak to me or my son ever again. I’ll FIGHT his MOM, don’t TEST me. I’m his new mom now. His BIRD mom. So proud of him, he’s like...one of the few that’s actually shown growth in canon after his overblot kshdkadjs

Leona

👁💧👄💧👁

.....I am a Mere Simp....

Ya’ll.... I swearh to ghOD I simped hard for Scar back when I was a wee thing, I did NOT expect to simp for him AGAIN LATER IN LIFE, what the FUCK aidhskdhskdj

Like shit bitch, damn, you may not be king of Afterglow honey, but you can be king of my heart if you wAnt to bb....

Leona: *smiles once, even if it’s smugly*

Me: *WEEPING* Look at hiiiiiiim!! My sunshine booooooy! 😭

Does this make me a furry

Probably

I am too Simp to Care Anymore

I HESITATED TO GET ATTACHED BC THIS BOY LOOKS LIKE A FUCKIN WOMANIZER IF I EVER SAW ONE, BUT HE DRINKS HIS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE EVERY SINGLE MORNING AND I WAS A GONNER SNDJAJDHSJ

FUCK

Call me a Herbivore again, bully me //SLAPPED

Azul

He secretly a lil shit sometimes, but tha’s ok, it’s mostly in a silly way, especially post overblot~ UvU

The sweetest bby everytime I read fanposts on him, like god, ah 💜💜💜 WHOMST COULD BULLY SUCH A CUTE CHUBBY OCTOBABY I’LL FIGHT ALL OF EM!! A sweetheart 10/10 would be his friend 💗 Not making contracts with him tho, lol

...ok maybe SOME after his overblot, but they’re able to be easily reversed now, so it’s way more chill andhsjdj

Kalim

FUCK!!!! F U C K!!!! BABYYYYYYY!!!! BABY!!!! I HAVE ADOPTED HIM IF YOU TOUCH HIM YOU D I E

He is literally so sweet, anytime anyone was like “you’re so nice it’s annoying” I WAS READY TO COME FLYING IN TO BITCH SLAP THEM LIKE AJDHSKDHSJ (even if I also loved them lol)

Like NO you are WRONG whfksjd

He has also grown so much, and I am proud ♥️🧡

Vil

Jesus Christ, canon Vil is Hurting Meeeeee ajdhskdhsj

My fave fanon Vil is the one that recognizes all different types of beauty, though~ uvu and is v encouraging to anyone that may be struggling with self hatred 💜

Canon: Vil is pretty~.

Me: Wow, wtf???? He IS so pretty... How rude I didn’t think you were serious! Wow him??? Pretty??? Wow??? Wow...

Idia

I’m not sure yet, as I haven’t seen him very often, but of the few times that I have: BIG same, huge mood, and Me FUCKING Too, goddamn akdhakdj

Idia is my Anxiety and Anime Nerd personified tbh lol

What Ortho is to him are what all my comfort characters are to me, honestly.

Like what would you like bby, you want that singing voice?? Ok here comes a synthesizer just special for you~. Ily, mwah~ u3u 💕

Malleus

HEAVY BREATHING

Ok maybe it’s just the lack of story/info out on him yet, but I don’t currently simp as hard for him compared to Leona, I’ll admit jajdkajd

BUT BOY HOWDEY DO I EVER STILL S I M P...

He Is Baby... And I Lob Him....

I am going to smooch those horns and forehead crown of beautiful scales 🖤🖤🖤 I am going to do it!!!! Here I go!!!

HE CAN HAVE ALL THE ICE CREAM AND TAMAGATCHI DATES HE WANTS I’M- 😭

This man is too precious for words, and I have so much childhood nostelgia to ‘enchanted’ woods, and being in the mountains, so he has Old Fae Friend vibes to me~🖤

DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON F-

Ngl I ship him and Leona a lil bit lol

No, not just bc that makes a poly with my two faves easier, but that is a bonus factor jadhajdj

Vice Dorm Heads:

Trey

Oh my god, the Daddy to my Mommy with all these newly adopted lil kids of ours, ya know??? What a wholesome sweetie and funny lil shit jahdksdh~

I love him, I would gladly make tarts with, AND for him 💚💚💚

The kind of boi who I’d ship HARD with anyone he started dating bc My God it would warm my heart So Much 💞💞

Ruggie (unofficial but may as well be at this point lol)

He took a while to grow on me kadhskdhsj

But I think he’d be a sweet, if a trouble-maker of a friend to have~.

Dank you for taking care of my sweet lion bby, honey, I’m sure Farrena is a sweetheart, but boi I hope he gets his shit together to fix up where Ruggie lives 😭

I think if I met his granny, I’d CRY jadhajsh 💗💗

Leech Twins (?)

Idk if they’re vice leaders, but who cares lol

THESE are the older Big Brothers in every sense of the word. (My canon ages most everyone up just a bit, save for Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Kalim, Jamil, Cheka, and anyone already 20+)

The ANNOYING older big brothers, lol.

The ones that hug you to death (Floyd), or use you for an arm rest (Jade), and specifically Do the thing you asked/told them NOT to Do.

This is fine with me tho, I’m an only child, please give me the experience of annoying older brothers lol 💙💚

Jamil

I used to hate you bby, I’m so sorry akdhskdhs

I’ve adopted him now, and I’m v proud he’s trying, but making clear what his boundaries are, and trying to come out of a shell he was made to be in for so long 😭

AND HIS DANCING IS SICK LIKE HONESTLY I’M SUCH A PROUD MOM 💗💗💗

Rook

God. FUCKING Rook, lol.

IDK IF I SHOULD TRUST YOU, but I also kinda wanna be your friend akdhakdjs

HE CONCERNS ME but he also seems nice and v sweet sometimes, lmao

Blz don’t stalk me tho 😬

STOP SHOOTING YOUR ARROWS AROUND SCHOOL YOU BLOODY HEATHEN FRENCH PRISS, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE

Also, if he DARES hunt cute animals around me, especially BIRDS, I am going to GRIP him jahdkahdsk

He’s like if Lord Druitt was a Little More Nice and a Little Bit Less Creepy ajdhak

Lilia:

GOD.

I LOVE THIS FUCKING GRANDPA.

I. FUCKING. LOVE. THIS FUCKING. GRANDPA.

I absolutely hc him as nonbinary w/masc pronouns, I absoLUTELY do.

I adore him, I love him, I haven’t gotten a squish (hardcore desire to be someone’s friend, lol) this hard for a character since AngelDust, I-

Pwease be nonbinary friends with me, Lilia 🥺

THE ONLY PERSON HERE SHORTER THAN ME, BUT I’LL TAKE IT AJDHAKDHJS

Anyone know Corpse and how he plays Among Us? That’s how I see Lilia playing his video games with friends and I JUST I JUST I J U S T

The Spencer to your Carly.

He and Crowley are free to compete as Dad with me too like honestly kshdkadjjs

He’ll always be granpa tho uvu 💚💖🖤

Extras:

Ace

God, the Fucking Annoying Middle Brother that pranks you ALL THE DAMN TIME, but I love him andhakdhsk

Deuce

THE BROTHER THAT WILL BEAT UP YOUR BULLIES 💙💙💙 SWEET BABY BOY

The Josh to Ace’s Drake. The Cody to Ace’s Zack. The Freddie to your Carly and Ace’s Sam.

If he and Ace started dating, tho, I would CRY.

But regardless who they end up dating, it’ll be slow burn friends to lovers, and literally the most adorable shit to watch EVER 💞💞💞😭

Cater

Seems Like A Womanizer But Actually Drinks His Reapect Women Juice And We Stan That 🧡

Can always count on him to help tou get the best Magicram shots, bless you Cater 🧡🧡

Also rly wanna be his friend, ngl 😭 Even IF he pranks me a lot kadhakdhsj

Jack:

H E AV Y BR EA T H IN G

Ngl my feelings for him are in the air IDK IF I WANNA SMOOCH OR NOT YET I JUST KNOW I LOB HIM HE GOODEST BESTEST BOY 💛💛💛😭

If all three Savannaclaw bois got in a cuddle pile with me, I would Not Be Mad

How can I give this boy love, tell me and I will Do It

Gift him all the cacti’s he WANTS💛

God he drinks that respecc women juice bright and early on his run every morning, you KNOW he does 💛💛💛

I wawnt to pet his ears an tail an fwuffy wolf form 😭

I WAWNT TO SEE THE BOY SMILE AND BE HAPPY 💞💞💞

Sebek

CHILL CHILL CHILL CHILL CH-

He is a v devoted guard tho, we love to see it UvU

I don’t have more info on him hekdhskdj but his fanmade content seems v v sweet~ 💚

Silver

HE ATTRACTS BIRDS AND I CRY ABOUT IT PLEASE BE MY FRIEND AND TEACH ME HOW 🥺🥺🥺

Him being raised by Lilia and Malleus literally gives me so much Fucking Seratonin....... God 💞💕💗💗💞💞💗💗💕💞

Ortho

IS BABY????? IS BABY!!!!!! I’M LOVE HIM I’M ADOPTING HIM IS BABYYYYYYY 💙💙💙💙💙

Cheka:

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

He is so FUCKING CUTE what the FUCK!

Leonaaaaaaa... 🥺 Your NEPHEWWWWW 😭

I might steal him from Farrena tbh, lIKE MY CHILD NOW~ 🧡🧡

I just sob and hug him every time I see him honestly 😭

Teachers:

Dire Crowley

Ohhhhhh god oh god oh god

Be my dad. Please. Be my dad. PLEASE be my dad. Ya’ll think I’m joking, I’m not. Please adopt me. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

This man as a father gives me so much dopamine and oxytocin and seratonin??? I have been weeping for WEEKS, please adopt me, Sir

Fathers with zero braincells being wrapped around a daughter’s little finger makes me so weak, and I am just here with Daddy Issues like ajdhakdhsj BLEASE ADOPT ME MISTER BIRD MAN

Crewel

Ew.

Forgive me, I haven’t seen much content with him in it/that could be considered wholesome, bUT JADHWKDJSJ

UncoMFORTABLE

Please keep the kink talk out of the classroom, S I R

Call me puppy one more time, see what happens, I’m not scared to fight a teacher akdhakdhsj

Trein

The Dad Figure that tries to be the stern part to Crowley’s blumbering kahdkqrhsjdj

Don’t feel as much attachment to him emotionally, but I like him~

Just let me pet your cat sometimes and give you holiday presents, and we’re cool~ ♥️

Vargas

Found the womanizer //SMACKED

And of course, I can’t forget Grim~!

He’s grown on me, and if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in the room, and then myself 😭

I will pet and snuggle and hold him all he wants and feed him all the tuna his heart desires uvu 💙

[aerltarg]

2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 26, 27 from ask game

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

oh, it's actually hard to answer bc pretty often my otps can work as brotps for me as well. it also means that when i can't ship some characters they don't work for me as friends either. not to mention that in asoiaf i'm open to many ships, and if i'm not very passionate about some it's not a sign i can't see them in romantic light.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

may i say any sansa ship? 😭 as well as sansa herself lmao. idk generally i can't ship characters i don't like because i'm just not interested. and it's not to say i don't like book!sansa (show!sansa is another case 💀), i just don't find her arc as intriguing and epic as arcs of some other characters. however, it's absolutely her obnoxious fandom's fault that i don't want to touch anything about her now, pairings including. sansaery? pass. sansan? i used to have a soft spot for them in my heart but now? nah. sansa x anyone? pls have mercy, she's already a fandom bicycle.

and jonsa ofc. i would never mind some crack ship as i do this one if not for their obnoxious stans that did way too much to list there right now. but this burning desire to persuade every rock on the street that your crack ship is canon will never stop being ridiculous lmao

also braime. tbh i used to low-key like them but some of their stans weirded my away lol. i get that not all of them are like that but still. it's generally my great pain when i see braime/brienne/jaime stans who are also dany/targ antis. every time i see them i cackle and run away as fast as i can crying from disappointment lmao. it's really a pity because i'm either very neutral or like in my own way all three of them.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

jonrya it is! i never hated them, you know, but they never were more than siblings and brotp to me. however, later i encountered the deluded crack ship fandom that shall not be named and understood that if there is any possible romance for jon with any of his sisters-cousins we all know which one it will be lmao. also their stans are very sweet and i really like many of their takes on arya and jon! i generally love relationships of jon and arya very much so it wasn't that difficult in practice to see them in a quite different light.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can't stand now?

meta culture lmao. reading different analysis and interpretations of the text used to be very interesting to me (and still is tbh but in other fandoms) though asoiaf is a different case. imo many people aren't honest in their so called theories and analyses. i get that all of us are biased but some "meta writers'" denial of their own biases influence fandom in a bad way. it looks like too many people run to them to get answers to their questions about any minor detail as if they were grrm himself. yk instead of using their own reading comprehension lmao. you see how this meta culture ruined fandom just looking at the most delusional stans and shippers who spread their agenda by writing endless text posts full of nonsense and bullshit but styled as oh so intellectual and thoughtful analysis. it's insane how many people actually buy it and don't check canon accuracy of such claims themselves. it got to the ridiculous point when random people try to argue with you with some far-fetched embarrassing "theories" as if they were canon facts or quotes straight up from a fanfic because they read somewhere some other confused soul's post and got from a context that this quote is canon (despite the fact that it wasn't written in grrm's style at all but some people can't use their brains even if their lives depended on it it seems).

anyway it's become too long and rambly already so tldr. because of such "neutral unbiased" analyses i got the habit of fact checking almost everything i see in such posts. there's only a small amount of meta writers from targ/dany/jon/arya stans that i trust because i know by practice and following them for some time that they don't pull anything out of nowhere, back up everything they say with canon quotes, don't decontextualize anything and (that is the most important thing to me) are reasonable and open to discussion unlike so many bnfs nowadays.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

ah, not in this fandom yet, god bless! i think i'm not loud enough for the needed amount of time to deserve it lol. but since i'm not going anywhere soon maybe one day i will 😂

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

robert baratheon and tywin lannister, obviously. tbh it's pretty hard for me to hate any characters because you know. they're fictional lmao. just lines on paper, they can't hurt you. and even such dudes as tywin or robert don't get real distaste from me if they're written well enough. my problem with them lies not only in their canon crimes and shitty consequences of those but in fandom's (or at least some parts of it) unwillingness to acknowledge that they're canonically written as shitty, not as stan/pity/worship material. tywin isn't as clever as some think and robert is a coward outside of battlefield, not to mention some absolutely disgusting denial of his nature from targ antis only because the man happened to be the most vocal targ hater in-universe so these folks feel like he is their main book representative and whitewash him completely lmao

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

uugh idk even. i'm either low-key interested (or used to be at least so i can stay pretty neutral for the sake of nostalgia lol) or too indifferent to really care.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

all my faves have their own crowd of haters i'm afraid 😭 but let me say rhaegar. even among some dany/targ stans my man is so misunderstood lmao. it's not even his fault i dare say it's fanon about his half-imagined crimes that somehow got widespread to the unbelievable degree. and when i say they're half-imagined i'm being very generous actually. ofc he isn't perfect, no one in asoiaf is. and yes, he's a pre-series dead minor character but almost all little information about him is actually positive, not to mention the narrative itself that doesn't paint him as a villain or just a shitty dude. on the contrary, he's an idealized to some degree dead prince who could've been a good king (like some other historical targaryens, jacaerys, baelor breakspear, aemon son of jaehaerys, etc.), a mysterious yet tragic figure. i have much to say about why it's so popular to shit on him in fandom but yeah. his haters should send their complaints to grrm instead, no one forced the man to write him like that lol. and i mean that no one has to like him ofc. but it's misinterpretation of the text to claim he was intentionally written as a villain or smth by grrm.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

i don't know if it counts as unpopular but i would say tyrion's arc as a whole because i enjoy his character and like in my own way. i can get why some people don't like him but this man will always have his own place in my heart i must admit.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

is this unpopular tho?.. ok but renly wouldn't make a terrible king. i dare say he would be better than both robert and stannis. yes, he wasn't shown as perfect and i don't claim this. he wouldn't be the best or the most brilliant or the most just or noble. yet still better than his brothers. his flaws weren't anything other high lords didn't have, his mistakes weren't anything other lords and kings didn't do. in many ways he would make a better job than robert or stannis, too bad he died so early, even though i get why it was important for the narrative.

26. Most shippable character?

well generally for me it's the ones i love the most lol. jonerys/snowstorm is my never dying otp but i admit my sins, sometimes i just see dany with other characters (often from other fandoms pls don't @ me). however, since dany is THE fave of mine it means i would rather twist the other guy or girl to fit into the good match for her than twist her for another character in my new born crack ship lol. and i never stay for too long with the ships with which i feel they don't really fit and don't do justice for each other lol. maybe that's the reason i'm not much of a rare shipper / crack shipper afshdjdb

27. Least shippable character?

everyone i don't like? 😭 as i've said sansa for the reasons above lol. you can insert many others in her place lmao

[uaklauslovesdave]

Hi, thank you for sending me asks, I really appreciate it! :D Could you do 002 for klave, I always want to hear your thoughts about them <3

my buddy, my dude, it’s been roughly 17 years since you sent this ask, and i’m oh so sorry for taking this long to answer. it got to be one of those situations where i wanted to do it Properly, which of course brought the anxiety, which of course then brought the avoidance. But we’re here now! it’s a new era and i have a whole bunch of klave thoughts to dump on my unsuspecting followers. let us begin.

when i started shipping it:

Pretty much immediately! I remember first watching s1 and getting that slow confirmation that Klaus time traveled to the Vietnam War. We saw him on the bus with his fatigues and bloody hands and I was like ‘oh god oh no he went to Vietnam didn’t he.’ And then later we have Klaus experiencing flashbacks in the bathtub and there are echoes of the noises of war but also a strong and clear “Dave!” And in that moment my interest was piqued. Dave, he said? Who is this Dave? Is this someone he loved? Did he have a war-time romance with another soldier? And I was hopeful but I also didn’t want to get too ahead of myself because of Queer Baiting in Media reasons (like, I was in the marvel fandom, ok? I went through the whole stucky dance routine). But then, but then! We got more. We got roughly five minutes (or less?) of scenes of Klaus dropping down in front of a disoriented soldier, of this soldier introducing himself as Dave on a bus, of Klaus and Dave dancing in a bar, of Klaus and Dave sharing a kiss in a quiet corner, of Dave bleeding out and dying in the middle of combat as Klaus sobs above him. And it was quick and it was short but it was meaningful and it was tender and immediately I knew that I was gone for them. There was no turning back at this point. I was all in on the Klave Train.

my thoughts:

My thoughts? Where do I even start? I have many! Some are incoherent! Some are devastating! Some are sickeningly sweet! Some are raunchy! Stay tuned to find out!

what makes me happy about them/what makes me sad about them:

So I decided to combine these two questions because, well, I Do Not Know how to untie the happy and the sad when it comes to klave. I tried and I cannot do it. They’re two sides of the same coin with these two. Because their entire relationship is tinted by tragedy, you know? They only met each other because Klaus was tortured and then flung into a notoriously traumatizing war in the 1960s. And who knows what number tour Dave was on. Had he been there for just 2 months or was this second or third time around? I’m not sure which option is more painful, really. And it’s unclear, did Dave genuinely want to serve in the military? Did he truly subscribe to those values instilled by his family? I’d lean towards no, based on the conversation Klaus tries to have with the Younger Dave in the diner. But I think it took Dave some time to get there, as he grew older and came to better understand and accept himself and perhaps grew more and more disillusioned with the life he was pushed into. And then there’s Klaus, whose own experiences somewhat parallel Dave’s (they just happened on a different timeline). Klaus, who grew up under Reginald’s reign of terror, who was taught to be a soldier just like Dave was. But his own disillusionment was expedited and he was able to rebel and remove himself from that scene more easily than Dave could (but at the expense of losing shelter and security and stability). And we have some insights into what it was like for Klaus to grow up in that environment, constantly surrounded by death. When we first meet him he is a person who clearly does not do genuine attachment or sincerity, because that is far too vulnerable and far too dangerous in his experience. He looks out for himself and he does what he needs to do to get by, and he approaches things from a casual, crass (safe) distance. And then there’s Dave, who we learn a little bit about from his interactions with Klaus in 1963 Dallas. He appears earnest and kind, just a Really Good Kid. He seems somewhat confused by Klaus, but also intrigued. Pretty much every time we see Klaus interact with someone in the 1960’s who is not a member of Destiny’s Children they approach him with disdain (referring to him as “pretty boy,” kicking him out of the diner, etc.). But not Dave. Not until he is pressured into it by Uncle Homophobe. And after that Dave seeks him out and apologizes, says that’s not him. And he and Klaus talk, and we see that they really knew each other, they really had a relationship, but by the end of the conversation Dave has been pushed too far. He’s not quite ready to rebel yet, he’s not quite able to make that leap into living as his true self. Just like Klaus, Dave grew up trapped and restricted and surrounded by ghosts. Not literal ones, no, but the ghosts of dead war heroes who came before him, the ghosts of the Ideal Man and Good Son that he thought he had to be, that he thought he had to prove he could become. And it’s not quite clear how and when Dave finally got to that point where he could rebel, where he could finally push past the fear, knock down the walls of the box he had been shoved into. But by the time he and Klaus crossed paths in 1968 Vietnam he was ready. And Klaus was ready. And they brought that genuine, true, real love out in each other. Something both of them probably thought was never possible. Something both of them probably thought was just a myth. Just turning themselves inside out and sharing that with each other. Trusting the other to take care of it and hold and keep it safe. All in the middle of a deadly war. It’s beautiful and it’s painful and it’s why I love them.

things done in fanfic that annoy me:

Nothing really specific comes to mind. Generally if there’s something I don’t like in a fanfic I’ll stop reading and move on. There is, of course, the Fanon Klaus Problem that makes its way into klave fics, so I suppose that annoys me. Or stories where Dave is one-dimensional and seems to exist just to comfort and take care of Klaus. But really, I don’t wanna hate on anyone who writes fanfic in a particular way. You do you. If it appeals to me I’ll read it and if it doesn’t I’ll just pass it by. No big deal.

things i look for in fanfic:

It absolutely depends on the day and what I’m in the mood for in that particular moment. I’m a sucker for angst so I absolutely do not mind reading something terribly sad and tragic. I like hurt/comfort with an emphasis on the hurt. I’m a fan of the GhostDave Watches Over Klaus Through the Years genre. I like stories that explore their time together in Vietnam. I’m into AU’s that include AliveDave traveling back to 2019 with Klaus and they hang out in Klaus’ room in the academy and Dave meets the siblings and Diego gives him a shovel talk. Sometimes I just want that sweet, sweet smut. Mostly I look for something that is both lovely and sad, which is not hard to find because that is, essentially, their relationship. There’s lots of good stuff out there. All y’all writers are talented. I salute you.

my kinks:

Alright, I’m just gonna preface this by saying that I will try my best to be unapologetically open about this, but at my core I am both shy and repressed. My easy and safe answer to this is that my kink for klave is love, happiness, and tender intimacy. That’s what I really want for them. But also. But also! Let them be smutty! Let them find places to sneak away and fuck, Dave’s hand over Klaus’ mouth to stop him from making noise that will alert the other soldiers to their activities. Or maybe they’re sitting under a tarp in the pouring rain and Klaus sees how far he can take it, and Dave doesn’t back down, and it ends up with Klaus blowing Dave while some other guys are sitting just feet away, oblivious to what’s going on between Katz and Hargreeves just over there. And then there’s that time they get to take leave together, and they’re able to get a hotel room, just to themselves, with real walls and a door that locks and a bed and everything. And the digs aren’t great but it feels like a palace compared to what they’re used to, and they absolutely do not waste this opportunity. Dave fucks Klaus into the mattress, and Klaus gets to learn what it’s like to have someone take control because you actually want them to and you feel safe with them, and Dave gets to learn what it’s like to have someone trust you implicitly and be willing to be vulnerable with you. And it’s not perfect, of course, sometimes their histories and understandings of sex and intimacy bump heads, but they love each other, they really do, and they work through it. And they both cry during sex at some point. For Dave it’s the first time he’s done so, for Klaus it’s not (but this is nothing like those other times this is because he wants to be here this is because he’s overwhelmed with love this is a release this is being seen this is being cared for).

who i’d be comfortable with them ending up with if not each other:

Let me be real and say that I really, really, really want them to end up with each other, and I think that this is where the show is headed. But, if that is not the case, as long as they are happy I will be happy. Perhaps that is cliche, but oh well. Just let them experience love and support, whether that’s with each other, someone else, or just on their own.

my happily ever after for them:

I don’t know how and I don’t know when (like seriously, when in the timeline is a big question), but I want them to find a way to be together. Maybe it involves some time-traveling, maybe it involves some timeline-hopping, maybe it involves some Commission interference, maybe one or both of them will be dead, maybe (most likely) it involves something that has not even crossed my mind as a possibility. But, like I said, I think that somehow there WILL be a (perhaps nontraditional) happily ever after for them. It might take some time to get there and I don’t think it’s gonna be a smooth road, but I do think that’s the ultimate destination. And I’m looking forward to the whole process.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Good question! My first instinct was Klaus as little spoon. Because he is Klaus but also because of the Bar Kiss scene where Dave tenderly cradles his face and those Very Important blurry behind the scenes instagram photos of Klaus resting his head on Dave. But I also think it would be really nice for Dave to be the little spoon? Because Klaus gets to hold him and act as a Protector and maybe he can feel Dave’s heartbeat beneath his (hello) hand and he gets to wrap around him and hold on tight and he can let go when he wants to but he doesn’t want to, he wants to stay right here as long as Dave will have him. And Dave will have Klaus wrapped around him, holding on, as long as Klaus wants to stay. Dave gets to be held and cocooned in the arms of this beautiful person he loves. Dave doesn’t have to be strong right now, he doesn’t have to put on the face of the Good Soldier. All he has to do is fall into the space between them.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

I’m gonna say that they had a lot of time to sit together and talk while they were in Vietnam. Sure, they had their duties and sometimes they were in the shit but there was also a lot of down time, just sitting around and waiting for something to happen. And so they’d sit and they’d smoke and they would talk. About their interests, about where they come from, and eventually about the life they would build together after they got out of there. But here’s a specific image that I have: they’re sitting close together, maybe it’s dark, there’s no one nearby. Cigarette smoke lingers in the air, mingles with the fine mist. The conversation has turned to music, somehow. Conversations have a tendency to meander when Klaus is involved, and Dave follows him step for step, never tripping, never questioning how they got there. And Klaus asks Dave about his favorite song, and Dave hesitantly mentions “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence,” like he’s embarrassed, but he’s loved it for years and he wants to be honest with Klaus. And Klaus hums and says he doesn’t know it, hasn’t heard of it, and he leans against Dave, lays his head against his chest. And Dave says, that’s ok, it doesn’t matter, it’s just a stupid old song anway. But Klaus says, no, you should sing it for me, I want to hear it, I want to know it. And Dave scoffs and laughs, but Klaus looks up at him, and then Dave looks away, and his mouth lifts into a smile, something small and fragile. He turns back to Klaus, looks him the eye, and softly, so softly, starts singing, “When Liberty Valence rode to town, the womenfolk would hide…” And Klaus drops his head and shifts closer to Dave and hears the words slip from Dave’s mouth and feels the words vibrate in Dave’s chest. He closes his eyes. There’s a war going on. It’s 1968 and he’s in Vietnam and his clothes are damp but he’s right where he wants to be. The song is not romantic, but it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. He never forgets the words.

[silvia7272]

? ~ Threats & Frights Tonight

I decided to do some smaller fanfics to just make sure everyone is on the same page as me so the SongFic will be revealed later on. However, I’m going to write out of order just like season 3 because I thought this would be cool and a nice way to introduce my OC.

I believe this takes place in season 3, after Lila gets back but before the oh so great finale episodes, so they’re still like around 14. I won’t mention all the episodes but I will post more about how my OC becomes friends with Kagami and Luka. (And Felix because I love Fanon Felix)

Also, I want to ask, do you want consistent salt, salt but redemption for few or all?

Edit: The question mark just means I’m unsure which part this takes place in my main story. It doesnt mean too much.

Word Count: 2203

***

“HAWKMOTH!”

Marinette stood there frozen, her new best friend, one she knew she could trust with everything, one who knew her identity… Was being Akumatized right in front of her.

Rosina, the newbie of Collège Françoise Dupont, the one who was able to get Marinette and Chloé to settle their differences and let them become friends had fallen for Hawkmoths Akuma.

Why don’t we go back to see how that happened?

***

Ever since Marinette and Chloé’s friendship blossomed apparently overnight, things had only gotten worse for the girls.

All the classmates had believed that they were always friends but decided to trick them so Marinette would be seen as their ‘Everyday Ladybug’ while Chloé was the bully.

Thank god they ditched her as soon as they saw her “true inner colours”

However, even with all the glares and comments directed towards the girls they never even bat an eye to them, they just kept on walking ahead never looking back. They even had the nerve to smirk back at them.

And now it had appeared there was one more person they wanted to convert.

Rosina Scoats.

She had been a new student to Dupont, and everyone had been excited.

She had looked so pleasant, and everyone had tried to warn her of Marinette, the bully, the one who had made Lila feel so sad and disheartened after Marinette had openly tried to oppose her for being a “liar”.

After all, she had done nothing wrong.

…Nothing wrong.

And yet, no matter what they did, she had always gone back to the outcasts of the class, and they talked as if they had been long-time friends.

It was hopeless now, she had fallen for their lies, there was no way they could save the poor girl.

Although they thought it weird it was only after she came that Marinette and Chloé became friends.

***

It had just started like any other day. Marinette and Chloé had arrived first and walked to the back where their seats were located, not that they minded being at the back.

Because Rosina had been staying with Marinette she made sure the busy girl got up early for school much to Tikki and her Parents comfort, although she hadn’t appeared yet as there was something the girl had to take care of before coming so the trio became dos at the back.

Then the quiet ones, Nathaniel, Juleka, Ivan, Mylène and Adrien came in. The latter held a disapproving stare at the two girls who should’ve taken the higher ground. They shouldn’t have rocked the boat, and what did they do? The exact opposite.

Honestly, they were worse than Lila at this point.

He just wanted them to apologise to Lila and they could be friends again, couldn’t they see the error in their ways?

It was even worse when he had that argument with Chloé. After that everyone told him it was great, he finally got rid and stopped being friends with Chloé, he could, at last, see just how much she had hurt all his friends and he felt like a fool; he only just realised. Chloé had hurt people while Lila hadn’t.

How ironic right?

Then all the rest came in, ending with Lila, again sprouting some nonsense about meeting several celebrities and she was like a little Sister to them all. Alya was sucking all this information and typing it on her Ladyblog, which by now should be called ‘Lilablog’ considering all the information dedicated to her ‘bestie’ instead.

“Of course, but because they live so far away, they can’t come and celebrate my birthday. Sometimes it’s hard being so far away from them, they’re like family, but they always give me a message and the best presents to make up for it” Her fake tears earned her so many sympathy votes the girls were surprised she wasn’t nominated for best actress.

A scoff was heard, and all heads turned towards the back, it would’ve been creepy considering how in tune they all were, but they didn’t say anything.

“Yes, is there anything wrong?” Lila innocently asked but pulled a disgusted face when no one saw her.

“Oh, nothing nothing, I just love watching Reality TV so early.” Chloé knew they all hated her, but she didn’t care, Lila had already turned Sabrina against her, so she only had Marinette and luckily newbie Rosina as friends.

“Don’t listen to them Lila, their just jealous of all the people that love you compared to them” Some snickers were heard but the girls didn’t pay them any thought. However, a noise disrupted the talk amongst the students.

A phone ringing.

Marinette’s phone was ringing.

“H-” Before she could even get a word out, she had to pull her phone back by how loud the girl’s voice had been on the other line.

“OPEN THE WINDOW NOW OPEN THE WINDOW NOW OPEN THE WINDOW NOW OPEN THE WINDOW NOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!” Marinette confused but used to weirdness in her life did what she was told and opened the nearest window. It was a close call as a body slammed into her just as the window opened, leaving no room to run.

“Owww…”

“Sooooooorrry about that Mari. I got held up again. That thing I told you I had to do while here, weeeeell it came up, so I had to take care of it, and then Piper wanted to- AHH! Piper are you ok? You aren’t hurt, are you?”

The redhead turned to the bundle she had been carrying while she flew through.

A child, possibly 4 or 5, with black hair and pink eyes in a colourful mini dress, that looked incredibly cute on her all the girls awwed at the girl that they all knew as Piper.

Their meeting would be stated for another time.

Part of her hair was tied in a small high side ponytail, adding to the girl’s cuteness as well as her fringe. They just hope the girl wouldn’t become a bully like the other two. But whenever they tried to come up to her she was always too shy and would bury her head in the girl Rosina.

The little girl nodded before going over to Marinette and trying to help her up. Even if she was shy of the class somehow the bullies were able to warm their way into the girl’s heart, it seemed surreal.

What did they have that the rest didn’t?

“Don’t worry Piper I’m fine you don’t have to worry about me.” The girl nodded before hugging her after noticing everyone was still glaring at her, or rather Marinette.

Before they could even sit-down Lila just thought she should tell the class her thoughts.

“Shouldn’t Piper be around some nicer people? I would hate to think what would happen if she continues to be in that type of environment?” She said sneakily yet no one seemed to notice while they all still nodded.

Rosina although knew about the situation between her friends still always wanted to remain positive for her besties and besides, she was great at being civil.

“While I appreciate your concern, Layla-”

“-Lila-”

“Layla, my seat is assigned here, and Piper would tell me if she wanted to move. So, Piper, would you like to-?”

“No thanks,” A barely audible voice spoke before she could even finish.

“Well you heard it folks the answer is no. Hey, Piper, you want to draw something?” She nodded enthusiastically and started drawing while Lila wasn’t finished.

“But I’m worried. I’ve been to multiple care homes and helped out whenever I could, and all children love me. You can just leave her with me, I’m sure it would be good for her to spend some time with new people.” The rest seemed to agree with her and started to encourage both girls to hang out with them instead, even if the child had previously said no.

But Piper had been focusing on some particular words.

Leave her with me.

Leave her.

Leave

Leave

LEAVE

‘No’

“No no no, p-please don’t leave me, p-please y-you promised me you would s-stay with me!”

Everyone stopped, they didn’t realise the girl would be so upset over this. Even Lila, she was mean but not heartless, especially to a kid.

The three girls at the back tried to comfort the girl with her worries, one bluenette especially worried.

But that didn’t stop the Akuma from entering. Mylène had been the first person to see it.

“Quickly move! The Akuma’s headed for the girl” Even if the teacher was there what could she do? Become Zombizou and have to go through all those Kissy Boo again? No thank you.

Rosina didn’t know what to do. Sure she had faced Akumatized victims before and helped Ladybug (Marinette) whenever she could, she was an amazing fighter, but that was all after the Akuma.

This, right here, was now.

And like hell, she would let Piper be Akumatized.

“Chloé!” Before the girl could respond Piper was placed in the blonde’s arms anyway, the girl would’ve denied but she could see the urgency in her eyes, plus she was trying to be a better friend anyway.

At that moment Rosina was concentrating. She focused her feelings, learning that you must keep a level head in this city, she had to make sure to display positive emotions all the time.

So she threw all of that out the window.

The Akuma had nearly touched Piper but quickly changed course once more prominent emotions appeared. Surely Hawkmoth would prefer a capable fighter to a little girl?

Hehe, you’ll see.

There was a bow in her hair, just begging Hawkmoth to Akumatize it.

And so, that was how everyone stood in terror to the girl with the magical pink mask on her face.

***

“HAWKMOTH!”

“Rosina please control it you have to!” Marinette grabbed onto the girl, trying to calm her. Tikki looked apprehensive, there was no way Marinette would be able to turn into Ladybug now, all they could do was wait.

“Angerella, that anger is nothing like I’ve felt before. I am Hawkmoth, I see all you want is to protect your little girl, I can give you the power to make that come true, all I ask is for Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous.” Hawkmoth’s offer and voice seemed so tempting.

“I can protect and conquer” No. No this couldn’t be possible, all that’s left would be the purple substance covering her, she was going to have to fight her friend.

A friend with a lot more fighting experience.

…

“If I cared.” Marinette breathed a sigh of a relieve, as well as Adrien. She knew she should’ve trusted her newfound friend but she was so scared. She’d make it up anyhow.

“What!?”

“Now Hawkmoth, I have your attention and you best listen to every word I say” The class looked on in anticipation, some had run off to try and get some help from teachers. Alya, thinking it would be great for the Ladyblog, started recording the whole ordeal.

“That girl you were about to Akumatize, if you ever try to Akumatize her again I will give you hell. Not even the heroes would be able to protect you from my wrath, understand”

“…”

“Your answer is duly noted. Now!” She but her hands on her head, seemingly struggling with the sudden Akuma. Was Hawkmoth increasing his control?

“Get out of my head! Now!”

…

Swoosh

“It's… Gone…” They didn’t expect that to happen, certainly not.

So they cheered and raved how great and cool she was able to do that. Alya cheerfully exclaimed how excited that scoop she was able to get and posted it on her blog right away.

And they all carried on as nothing had happened.

As if it wasn’t important.

Little did they know repelling an Akuma took a lot out of you, ask Chloé she’d tell you.

“Rosina are you ok? You had us so worried” When Rosina stumbled because of her unbalance, Marinette held onto her tighter, that ordeal really frightened her.

“I-I -pant pant- just need a moment, can we get some air? Please?” She nodded and the four immediately left.

“Rosy? Are, are you ok?” Rosina smiled and hugged the girl as they approached the entrance.

“Of course, don’t worry Li’l Piper, no one will ever hurt you, if Hawkmoth knows what’s good for him he will stay away from you.” She rubbed her head as the little girl smiled.

“I gotta say that was impressive, you had me worried for a sec but of course you’d be able to pull something like that off” The blonde lifted her ponytail up and down while commenting the tired girl.

“Thanks for your belief. I never would’ve forgiven myself if I hurt either of you. I love you two so much” She hugged them both surprising them more.

“We love you more Rosina. But please don’t scare us like that again. Angerella” Marinette couldn’t stop the light punch coming from the redhead before they all laughed.

All the while Hawkmoth in his lair was coming to a conclusion.

“She is the one who will bring me both the Miraculous’”

***

I just noticed this was more about the OC than salt so sorry, I’ve never done salt before so hopefully, I’ll get better as time goes on. But anyway I hope you liked it and I may do another one to add more details if you want.

Have a good day/night.

[travllingbunny]

The 100: 7x07 The Queen’s Gambit

I owe you all the reviews for episodes 7x07, 7x08 and 7x09, the only ones I didn’t have the time to write after the episodes aired. (I only posted My authentic live reactions to 7x07.) Now I’m on my annual leave (since yesterday... well, technically, from tomorrow) so finally I’m gonna post them before the show returns. During this mini hiatus, @jeanie205​ and me have been doing a joint rewatch of season 7, and we’ve reached 7x08 (which I’ll be posting a review of tomorrow).

Unpopular opinion - I quite liked this one. Roughly on the same level as the previous two episodes, maybe even slightly more as there was nothing major that really bugged me this time. I like it when the show takes a break from the plot and exposition to focus on characters, and this one had some character moments I really enjoyed (in particular for Emori, Octavia, Diyoza and Hope) and the show addressed some of the long-standing issues I’ve had with some of the previous events (such as Octavia’s beating of Bellamy in season 3 or Madi taking the Flame in season 5). It certainly helps that Emori and Diyoza have always been among my favorite characters and that Octavia has become one of my favorites with her amazing development over the last few seasons. One of those “addressing previous issues” things was the Becho flashback (as the lack of flashbacks for that relationship has been rightfully criticized) was OK and in line with what we know of this relationship. Even Nelson’s characterization made sense this time.

There are a couple of things I’m not sure how I feel about, and the big “reveal” at the end was hardly a reveal to anyone in the hardcore fandom, but was still necessary. The pacing of this season hasn’t been the best for sure, but I think I wouldn’t have had any problems if the momentum from the end of this episode - with Clarke and co. arriving on Bardo and learning about Bellamy’s “death”, followed by Cadogan being woken up from the cryo sleep -  and the backdoor pilot was followed by getting directly into present day action and involving Clarke and the rest of the Nakara group in what’s going on. I think it was mostly 7x09 and the completely unnecessary flashbacks that really ruined it and made me lose patience with the season.

I loved the mother/daughter conversation between the two Dizoyas in this episode, which was emotional and also touched on the show’s crucial themes of violence and morality. These two haven’t seen each other in what was just about a month for the mother, but 15 years for the daughter. Diyoza is treating Hope as a child, because that is what she is for her, which frustrates Hope - a dynamic that many will find familiar - though in this case, it’s a bit more understandable as Diyoza hasn’t seen Hope since she was 10, and secondly, she is right that Hope is still naive in some respects as she hasn’t had a chance to meet that many people and experience that much. But that is partly a consequence of Diyoza sheltering Hope from the knowledge about her own life before Skyring. (Hope even threw Dev in her face - explicitly calling him her father - as her other parent figure, one who did teach her to fight and try to prepare her for the real world.) And Diyoza getting upset that Hope came to Bardo to rescue her  - as she saw it her role to save her (“I was coming to save you”) was not logical - she knows how time dilation works, so she should know that Hope would have been long dead by that time, if she hadn’t come to Bardo. Hope was right when she pointed out that the real problem is that her mother wanted Hope to be innocent, the way she isn’t, and that she is upset to see that Hope has become a killer, too. Diyoza was driven both to protect Hope in the physical sense and to protect her innocence - and, as she finally admits here, she wanted Hope to see her in a different light than everyone else does. We’ve already seen in season 6 that Diyoza is really unhappy about her legacy and her past and the idea that everyone sees her as a killer and terrorist. I’ve never thought she should have paid much attention to what Russell Lightbourne of all people said her place in “history books” was (which history books? The Sanctum ones? He left Earth shortly after Diyoza was arrested), but it’s clear that the reason she took it so hard is because she herself feels bad about her past actions. She thinks goal was right, but her methods were not - as she ended up killing innocent people.  “Doing the right thing the wrong way isn’t doing the right thing”.  She is a jaded character who can do violence better than anyone - in a tactical way and only as much as necessary, rather than impulsively or out of bloodlust - and she still does it, but who hates it at the same time, which is why she puts hope (!) in her daughter to be different. When she tells Hope “Violence and rage will destroy your soul, revenge is a game with no winners”, it feels like this is the show working towards its final messages in its final season. 

If the prequel gets green lit, I hope we get more Charmaine Diyoza backstory in flashbacks and learn what was going in pre-apocalypse. In season 5, she said she was fighting a fascist government, and in this scene, we got a few more backstory crumbs, such as that everyone she loved died in wars, some of which “did not need to be fought”. I want to know what the Battle of San Francisco was - the one where Diyoza apparently saved people and was considered a hero for - and what later made her rebel against the government. We also get a McCreary mention when Diyoza finally decides it is time to disclose the full ugly truth to Hope - who and what he was and what he did, which the audience already knew, and the new info for us, that the reason why she had sex with him was to get him on her side during the uprising. (Which, I believe, is the first time anyone on the show has admitted that sex may sometimes be motivated by manipulative reasons.)

Octavia comforting Echo is a scene that got a lot of criticism. But I think this is a really good scene for Octavia and her character development. No, Octavia hugging Echo and telling her she is her family isn’t inconsistent with the fact that Octavia has never liked Echo (and was open about it in how she talked to Hope about her) or that these two characters were never anywhere near being friends, even when they stopped being outright enemies. This is simply Octavia letting go off all grudges and seeing herself and Echo as united in grief,, and is accepting Echo as family because she was in her brother’s life. And she is also now able to empathize with people instead of judging them, seeing the echoes of her how she herself felt after Lincoln’s death. 

What particularly meant a lot for me is that the show has finally addressed her beating of Bellamy in season 3 and that Octavia expressed regret about it. That’s something I had been waiting for, for 4 years. That controversial scene had become even more upsetting over time because of the amount of fanon built around it in fandom wars. Such as the Bellamy-haters attempt to justify it and claim that he “deserved it” and even attempt to blame him for Lincoln’s death, ignoring the fact that Bellamy had tried ti save Lincoln and turned his back on Pike after Lincoln, Kane and Sinclair were sentenced to death, and offered Octavia his help - but she distrusted him, knocked him out and chained him up in a cave and went to save Lincoln by herself. On the other hand, I’ve now seen people criticize Octavia saying “And he let me” and argue that he was “helpless” as he was chained up - which is again ignoring canon, since Miller and others wanted to interfere and stop the beating, by Bellamy kept telling them to stay away. It’s been argued that Bellamy let her do it because he felt guilty. but while there may have been some of that, I've always thought the main reason because he realized she needed it, she needed to blame someone else and take it out on someone else, and Pike was not around. And more importantly, she needed to blame Bellamy in order not to blame herself for failing to rescue him, in order not to think “If only I had done this differently..”. Bellamy started telling her in 3x13: "I came to you, I offered help. If you had only..." and then he saw her look and stopped himself and left, realizing what he was about to say. Octavia sees his motives the same way, saying he let her because she knew he needed it, but she isn’t using this to justify herself. She can now acknowledge her mistakes and take responsibility, and show compassion for someone in a similar situation. It’s not just about grief and losing a loved one - Octavia is now a different person and does not react to losing Bellamy (as she believes) in the same violent, desperate way. Octavia saw Lincoln as her “home” at the time. Echo saw Bellamy as her leader and made saving him her mission for 5 years, and Octavia realizes she must be blaming herself for failing at it. She tells her "It’s not your fault" because she blamed herself when she did not save Lincoln.

The show has been criticized (with good reason) for developing the Bellamy/Echo relationship off-screen during a time jump, and showing a flashback in season 7 could be seen as the show ticking off another box. But the flashback’s main purpose here is clearly to comment on Echo’s storyline this season - specifically, on the issue of loyalty as her main motive (or her tendency to always look for someone to follow, as she herself has said to herself through her hallucinations). The most important lines in the scene are Bellamy telling her “Loyalty is your weakness” and, after she replies it is not, “It is, when it makes us do things we know are wrong”. To paraphrase Indra from a previous episode - loyalty is not a weakness, blind loyalty is. (I will go with the least cynical of the several interpretations I’ve seen floating around of what Bellamy meant when he followed this with a question “Do you think you can be loyal to us?” I think he thought that, as a “shapeshifter”, as he called her, he and the Spacekru can influence her to accept their values and not be a ruthless killer as she was taught to be by Queen Nia.)

Still, there’s a lot that can be deduced from this scene regarding Bellamy’s mindset on the Ring and the Bellamy/Echo dynamic in general - though it’s more of a confirmation of the things we have noticed before. What strikes me the most about this scene is that it may be the least romantic first kiss scene I’ve seen, at least out of those that resulted in a long-term relationship. It feels more like a recruitment scene - and most of the dialogue is about Echo’s and Bellamy’s relative character strengths and weaknesses, and whether Echo can be a loyal part of Bellamy’s team. Echo does look softer and more vulnerable and insecure than we’re used to seeing her, and very surprised that Bellamy is forgiving her for things she herself was afraid he never would be able to (such as betraying him at MW - which led to his previous girlfriend’s death, or trying to kill his sister), let alone show interest in a relationship with her. But Bellamy is a far cry from the emotional man we see interacting with Clarke, either in seasons 1-4 or in seasons 5-6. He is calm, composed, he wants to move on from the past, and when he kisses Echo, it feels like a moment of decision. The Ring!Bellamy has spent 3 years in peace, without needing to protect anyone - as there are no outside threats. He has mourned Clarke, believing that she died saving them all and he left her behind. He feels that his sister is his “weakness” (”love is weakness” - Echo calls it his strength), but his guiding motivation is still to go back to Earth and reunite with her. It’s not the first time Bellamy has lamented the power that his feelings for his sister have over him - in season 4, he described himself as pathetic as always coming back after she had treated him so badly. (Is this a part of the reason why he’s only ever had romantic and/or sexual relationships with women that he doesn’t have such powerful feelings for - unlike Clarke, who is also his ‘weakness’  and the only person for whom he has feelings strong enough to rival those for his sister?) In season 6, Bellamy will criticize Echo for not being emotionally open as he said she was on the Ring. As we know, she was not fully emotionally open on the Ring, either, as she never told him her backstory (he notes here that she doesn’t like talking about herself), but I can kind of see what he meant - she was a lot softer, and going back to the ground and back into the center of action made her go back into the emotionless soldier mode, which is her default survival mode. And for Bellamy, going to the ground, on the other hand, meant being caught again in a swirl of all the emotions - learning Clarke was alive and reuniting with her, seeing a very changed Octavia, having to fight and kill and do things to protect people again - we saw him change from this laid-back Bellamy in 5x01 and become more emotional, throughout seasons 5 and 6. The Ring, with its 6 years of peace and boredom, was like a vacuum - and Echo saw it as something that was “not real” and their relationship as one that’s specific to the Ring and that wouldn’t survive on the ground. One thing that this flashback revealed is how long they had been dating - it seems that “forgiving” was synonymous with “starting to date” (they really spent no time being friends), which makes it all the more astounding that, after 3 years of dating, Echo had the exact same insecurities in 5x01, believing that their relationship would not survive on the ground. In this scene here, Bellamy wasn’t even trying to reassure her - he instead used a kiss to shut her up and make her ignore those concerns. There is a development in their relationship - as Bellamy here calls Spacekru a team, a unit, and wants Echo to be a part of it, and Bellamy in 5x01, three years later, calls them and Echo his “family”. He certainly started to care about her deeply. But at no point does he mention love, and he certainly doesn’t look like a man in love.

But while it’s clear what the main themes of Echo’s character arc are, I have to say that I have no idea where exactly this arc is going. Will she learn to have some sort of identity outside loyalty to Azgeda or Bellamy or anyone else? Can she stop being a soldier and a killer, or is the point of her arc that some people can never change? Will she ever examine the morality of her actions the way Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia have been doing, and as Diyoza does in this same episode? I can’t say I’m fully sure what the dramatic moment of Echo slashing her face Azgeda-style meant. All I can say is that it seems to point out that 1) she has been shaped as a person by her Azgeda warrior upbringing in her childhood and this is her main identity she will probably never let go off, and 2) the way she said the scars mean the pain has stopped but you will never forget makes me think she has revenge on her mind. But this wouldn’t be very different of what we already saw her do impulsively in 7x05. Everyone expects Echo to be out for revenge against the Disciples - so it might be more interesting if she really decided to fight for them because she needs that in her life.

We also see Gabriel’s recruitment - the episode’s opening scene, with a pretty straightforward combination of both carrot and stick: come join us and explore the universe, something you’ve been obsessed with for over a hundred years, and oh, the alternative is getting executed, and your friends potentially getting executed. Gabriel is driven by both his scientific curiosity and a wish to save Echo/Hope/Octavia. He genuinely wanted to save them, but he also took away their choice and did it against their will and feels bad about betraying them - another one of those tricky situations in the show where someone betrays someone out of the desire to save their life.

As the Disciples are sending Orlando’s body to Nakara, we see Gabriel do his own ritual of saying “Death is life” as he did for Josephine. Conspiracy theorists were very excited about the fact that we don’t see Orlando’s dead body, but I’d say that simply means the show didn’t want to call the actor back and pay him for appearing as a dead body for 2 seconds.

An unexpectedly funny moment was Anders saying, in reference to Orlando’s death: “I think we need to rethink our penal system” (ya think?) - Neal McDonough’s face was just perfect in that moment. And Gabriel is getting back some of his tendency for snarky one-liners that we haven’t seen much since the first half of season 6 (his only question about being a Disciple is “Do I get a robe?” )

I have no idea why the show, in the following episodes. treats the characters’ decisions to join the Disciples as a big mystery that needed flashbacks to be explained. Anders directly threatened Gabriel and Diyoza, Hope, Octavia and Echo thought they would be executed or tortured, until Echo realized they wanted to recruit them (which was becoming obvious from the nice treatment they were getting - Octavia was even allowed to read a book). It’s not like any of them had a choice, and joining the Disciples and pretending to be loyal is the obvious way to go. 

Another instance of the show commenting on its previous controversial storyline: when Jackson tells Madi that Bellamy convincing her in S5 to take the Flame was not right even though it was also true that it was the only way to save Clarke. Fans tend to take extreme positions on this one - either it was unambiguously bad or it was the right thing - so I’m glad to see the show admitting the complexity of that situation, and that some things can be both necessary and morally wrong - especially since season 5 seemed to treat Commander!Madi as an unambiguously good thing. Seasons 6 and 7 have since gone a long way to acknowledge that making the Grounder tradition of 12 old Commanders is pretty messed up.

I do wonder though, just like Emori did in this episode, since when is Jackson is shrink. He’s a surgeon, and neither he nor Abby have ever shown much in the way of understanding about mental health issues before.

I’ve always loved Emori - back when she was first introduced, because she was a morally ambiguous but sympathetic antiheroine with a developed backstory and because her relationship with Murphy initially subvert the “redemption for the love of a good woman” trope. Both she and the relationship have since developed and changed a lot. Emori started out cynical, distrustful of people and bent on her own survival, due to having such a tough life since she was a child cast out for the way she was born, but over the seasons, she has found love, a “family”, developed new skills, and learned what it is like to be cared, loved and respected by others - and she has become a much more idealistic character. She’s adapted to the new situation - having to pretend to be a Prime - much better than Murphy.  Murphy says (and Sheidheda later echoes that) that it is because she enjoys being worshiped - and I’m sure that’s a part of the reason (and is very understandable - as someone who was thrown away like garbage as a child and an outcast for most of her life, of course she would enjoy adoration, even if it is for directed at someone she is only pretending to be), but she is happily embracing her role mostly because she can use that newfound privilege and power to do something good - and to try to heal an old emotional wound,  trying to do reunite the CoG with their parents who rejected them for being nulls. She will never get a chance to learn if her own parents would be able to un-learn their own brainwashing, regret their actions and have an emotional reunion with her - but she clearly wants to believe they would. This episode may be hammering that point a bit too much with having Jackson analyze her actions - when it’s already obvious and she also straight up tells all that to Nelson, making a parallel between his and her fate, the “nulls” and “Frikdreinas”, both rejected as abominations for their DNA, (When Nelson does his angry-stubborn thing and tells her “You know nothing about me”, it reminded me of Emori’s conversation with Clarke in 4x07, when she said “You know nothing of my pain”.) Unfortunately - while Emori tells Murphy: “The way out of hell is paved with good deeds” - what happens ends up being in line with the proverb “The way to hell is paved with good intentions”. We see some of the old, sly Emori when she tricks Nelson into drinking so she could use his DNA to match him with his parents. But her new idealism makes her underestimate just how horrible people can be.

As I said in my immediate reactions, Nelson’s father is the worst. I really don’t want to judge if it is realistic that people can be so horrible and so brainwashed...  sadly, it probably is. And to be fair, everyone else at that event seemed to be OK, but it’s enough for one a-hole to ruin everything. In any case, that scene was quite strong and well-acted on the part of Lee Majdoub as Nelson (aka Sachin). Unlike in the last episode, Nelson’s characterization made sense this time. His reasoning does not (and Nikki - who is not an interesting antagonist but whose motivations at least make sense - points out the exact same thing I wondered about 7x06, what kind of justice is he looking for now that all the Primes are gone?), he’s not a very rational character, but you can see where he was coming from emotionally, reacting to what happened. 

It was weird, though, that he immediately started talking in the name of all Children of Gabriel and making decisions for them. In season 6, they seemed more like a bunch of people with different ideas who disagreed a lot, but now they seem to be another group that blindly follows a leader.

One thing I enjoyed better the first time were the Murphy and Sheidheda scenes. I really didn’t realize where it was going the first time I watched the episode, but knowing what it’s all about and that Shady is just stalling  - it makes sense, but it also makes these scene drag on during a rewatch. Yes, Sheidheda is portrayed as a master manipulator (I think he is the first antagonist in this show who can be said to be one), and he found all the right ways to get to Murphy - calling him out on his  desire to be a hero and desire to be loved (both of which Murphy always wants to deny), threatening his “queen” Emori, trying to play on Murphy’s concerns about the fact Emori is more adaptable than him, and, most of all, tricks Murphy into trying to play a mind game with him and prove something, try to outsmart him. But when you already know where it’s all going, it feels like those could have been a bit shorter. Maybe instead we could have had a couple more scenes showing what was up with Octavia, Echo, Hope and Diyoza, so they wouldn’t dedicate an entire episode (7x09) to that. But maybe putting a couple of flashbacks (around 5-10 minutes) at the beginning of 7x09 and then getting on with the present day Bardo action (i.e. whatever is gonna happen in 7x10) would have been an even better solution. 

As with “Hesperides”, I’m still not sure why this episode has the title it has and if I’ve been overthinking it. Surely it can’t just be so literal and refer only to Murphy’s move in the chess game between him and Sheidheda? I expected a metaphor about sacrificing a pawn, someone or something of yours that you see as less important, to gain something else, and/or empower your strongest player. I can’t really think of anything in this episode that really fits that. Unless it refers to something else that’s yet to happen this season.

One minor thing that doesn’t make much sense to me was Murphy mentioning Lexa to try to make Sheidheda feel bad, by pointing out her popularity (”everyone loves her”) and his unpopularity. I’m confused by this, because it feels like a big retcon, or a case of the writers starting to confuse Lexa’s popularity in the fandom with her status in-universe. It was a major plot point that everyone was turning against her in season 3 (Nia challenged her and all the other clan leaders sided with Nia and almost voted Lexa down, a Trikru farmer tried to assassinate her, her Flamekeeper was worried that her people would turn against her...) I suppose we’re meant to think her popularity has risen since she died - that seemed to be how it was portrayed in season 4 - but even if that were the case, how much would Murphy know about it? He was only in Polis for a short time in season 3 (pre-ALIE) and mostly interacted with Titus and Ontari, spent season 4 hanging out with Skaikru, was not in the bunker and never got to spend much time with Wonkru. Are we to think that he learned of Lexa’s popularity with Wonkru during these few days on Sanctum in season 7? But as we’ve seen, Sheidheda is not really universally hated among Wonkru and still has stans at least in his own clan, Sangedakru. Sheidheda, on his part, correctly points out that Lexa was killed by a Flamekeeper, just as he was. He says it was because they were afraid of his “ideas” - not explaining what ideas those were, and says Lexa also was... Which also isn’t exactly what happened: Titus was not afraid of Lexa’s ideas, he was afraid she was listening to Clarke and Clarke’s ideas too much. 

We get a minor Bardo time jump of 3 months in the middle of the episode. I have no idea at which point in the Sanctum timeline this or that part of the Bardo storyline happened - they are clearly not being shown chronologically, as the Bardo part of the episodes 7x05-7x06 probably lasted for a few (Bardo) hours. 

Gabriel is apparently now a Level 3 Disciple and works on the "cipher” team. I guess the Disciples value scientific people more than soldier Disciples, since Echo, Octavia and Diyoza still don’t seem to be even Level 1 based on the lack of symbols on their faces, and Levitt is somehow Level 11. Since they have been working on the codes for thousands of (Bardo) years, I’m surprised that the Disciples haven’t managed to do more. According to another team member, the last big discovery was before he was born and it was a 10 digit code that allows them to “harness the power of what you call the Anomaly. 

We get new info in this episode as the final code they are looking for is supposed to help them achieve “transcendence” aka “the final evolution of the species” (which they believe the beings who made the Anomaly Stones had done) and help them win the “last war”, and I assume that the transcendence has something to do with the white light that was seen when Becca typed the 7 symbol combination she only managed to find because she had the Flame in her head, and whatever she saw on the other side - which must be something different from the regular green light that appears when a bridge to another planet is opened. Cadogan’s questions to Anders after waking up were: "Have we cracked the code? Has the war begun?" It's a bit frustrating that the show keep withholding the info - what is the last war, who is it fought against? Is it even a physical war? I guess it must be at least partially, as they train and they want to recruit people like Echo, Octavia, Diyoza. But is that all?

Such a funny contrast between the star-struck, adoring Anders and an almost bored Cadogan, who first  asks, after seeing who woke him up: “You again?” Having seen 7x08, I wonder if maybe Cadogan is not impressed by people who worship him without question and try to please him -as his son did (as opposed to his daughter). Anders keep calling him the “Shepherd” and Cadogan says his trademark line “Call me Bill”. He must have told him that before, if Anders had already woken him up before. Or he just doesn’t like to be woken up more often than once in a few decades or a century, since he says he was woken up “this early”.

I really like the way Clarke’s reaction to hearing about Bellamy’s “death” was portrayed. There was some debate about the fact that Lindsey Morgan, the director of the episode, first wanted to have Clarke fall to her knees, and that Jason overruled her - and I have to say I agree with him. Focusing on Clarke’s face and seeing the shock and gradual realization on her face felt a lot less melodramatic and a lot more real.

A couple of interesting things I’ve noticed: Cadogan has a picture of pre-apocalypse “Polis” (Baltimore?) on Level 13 where his cryo is.

I was first under the impression that Madi’s drawing we see in this episode showed Becca going into the Anomaly, then when I saw it showed multiple people, that it was the Second Dawn members leaving Earth. But after rewatching Anaconda, I think this is the scene when Becca activated the Stone and everyone (Becca, Bill, Grace, Callie and Reese) stood there around it, talking about it. So, probably another one of Becca’s memories.

Rating: 7.5/10

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Lariope and welcome to Behind the Quill, it is a pleasure to talk with you.

Many of our group’s members requested you as an interview subject, but amongst more than a dozen stories in the HP universe you are probably best known for Killing Time, Second Life, and Advanced Contemporary Potion Making.

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name?  

So, there's a really common plant in my area called Monkey Grass. Most people use it as landscaping filler. I thought it was pretty and asked someone who had some what it was called. She told me that it's technical name is Liriope, which I heard as Lariope. This was around the time that book 6 was released, and it struck me as a very witchy name, particularly as JKR likes flower names. Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? Wow. Probably Neville. I'm certainly not as brainy or as confident as Hermione, not as out-there as Luna, not as athletic as Ginny. I'm less angsty than Harry and less apt to charge off in my own direction. And I am certainly not as thoughtless as Ron, not as strict as McGonagall, not as dark as Snape. And if you've read Second Life, you know my feelings about Dumbledore! But I was someone who took some time to come into my own. Often bumbling or nervous, but when my back is to the wall, brave and honorable. So I'm going with Neville. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) 

I love fiction, but honestly, other than Harry Potter, I don't read fantasy! I tend to like "domestic" fiction, as in Anne Tyler, and literary fiction. I also really love Stephen King, oddly enough. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? 

By classic do you mean like, the literary canon, or just not fanfiction? My top five favorite novels are, in no particular order, The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, It by Stephen King, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon, The Temple of Gold by William Goldman, and The Secret History by Donna Tartt. I'm not big into the classics, which is weird for an English major to say. At what age did you start writing? 

I've been writing all my life. The first time I saw Stand by Me at 11 years old, I rewrote it with a new ending because I could not bear the death of Chris Chambers. I think I've always been interested in working with other people's texts. How did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I loved Harry Potter so intensely. I came to it as an adult at a particularly lonely time in my life. When book 6 was released I read it all in one gulp, and then felt kind of despondent when it was over. I thought of the good old rule of the internet, that if it exists, there is porn of it, so I went looking for what I called "Potterotica," figuring that it would give me an opportunity to read more about the characters I loved. I didn't yet have a concept of fanfiction, let alone fanfiction that wasn't erotica! As I read, I had the persistent feeling that I hadn't yet found exactly the story I was looking for. I kept feeling that I would do this or that differently. Then after the release of book 7, I was tormented by the fate of Snape. I really felt I needed to save him. That I couldn't relax until he'd had some love in his life before his death. I didn't have the sense yet that I could change his fate, only that I needed him to have happiness and love before he died.  I have a Master's Degree in fiction writing, so I decided to just give it a try. My first story was terrible!!! It was called If Memory Serves and was archived only on the Restricted Section. But it definitely forced me to reawaken some skills, and whetted my appetite. What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? 

Hm. I'm not sure how to answer this question. I know that one of the things that I respond most strongly to in fic is a feeling of inevitability--that regardless of how or when, these characters had unfinished business with each other. I hate to use the word destined... but that feeling that there were many points in canon where something minor could have changed which would have changed everything and brought two characters together--and that that could have happened at any point, in any number of ways. I like very much when canon is reimagined or reinterpreted to make that relationship deeper--like reimagining the scene where Snape insults Hermione's teeth to have a totally different meaning in the context of their relationship. I think I am remembering Somigliana's The Traveller being particularly gratifying in that way. Obviously I play with canon a lot in my own work. I like for fanfiction to feel "real" as in, possible in a canonical context. What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? 

Almost none! I've been fannish all my life, but Harry Potter was the first experience I ever had of "fandoms," that is to say, community built around a narrative. I usually just freaked out over things in private. After HP, I tried very hard to get into the Sherlock fandom, because I had a dear friend from the SS/HG community who was into it, but in the end, I could just never become invested in quite the way I had with Harry Potter. Subsequently, I had children, so I mostly support their fannishness now. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? 

I wish Snape could live. I really do. He had a lot left to learn and a lot left to give to the world beyond the sacrifice of his own life to the cause. There are certain things I have ultimately accepted as head canon, as far as pieces of fanon are concerned. Honestly, they are so ingrained that I'm having trouble thinking of any! Sometimes when I watch the movies with my kids, I think, but wait, what about?... oh yeah, I forgot that wasn't canon. Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? 

I need dead silence to compose, because I hear the words in my head as I write and I can't be distracted from them. But I often pick pieces of music that I listen to obsessively in my downtime when I'm writing a story, that I think of as sort of like theme songs. Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova was one for Second Life. Table for Glasses by Jimmy Eat World still calls up Dark Santiago for me. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? 

Oooh. Ok. So I read a lot of Drarry, and I pretty much love everything that Sara's Girl has ever written. Somigliana's work--the Traveller was amazing. All the Best and Brightest Creatures by Wordstrings (Sherlock). I also really loved greywash's Sherlock fic. There was an SSHG that has been long since removed that was called Dear January--I still think of it.  I loved all the epics of my particular time in the SSHG fandom. Mia Madwyn, Subversa, Loten. Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process? 

Definitely a plotter. I kept pages and pages of working notes and planning points as I was writing Second Life. I always began a chapter with a working document of where I thought the chapter was going, as well as a reread of that portion of canon.  Points of discovery along the way still happened all the time--I'd be in the midst of something I had planned when all of a sudden I'd see some point of connection I hadn't even thought of, and something would open up bigger than I had thought it would be. I remember in particular the end of the Bathilda Bagshot chapter of Second Life, when Snape is running toward James and Lily's house and feeling like time is doubling back on itself--I didn't see that parallel until I was in it.  I think you always have to have room to surprise yourself, even in the thick of your planning. That sense of discovery affects the reader's journey through your work. What is your writing genre of choice? 

Haha, fanfiction is my writing genre of choice. No, I wrote short stories when I was pursuing my degree in fiction, which is kind of hilarious now, as I became sort of known for my long-windedness. Why say 100 words when 10,000 would do? I grew to love the novel during my time in fanfiction. It would be hard to imagine turning back to a shorter form now. But who knows. I always tell myself that once the children are grown I will get back to writing. I was beginning a sort of cross between fantasy and domestic fiction when I had children and I still think the idea has legs. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? 

Oh, different ones for different reasons. I think Dark Santiago is the most structurally tight and sound thing I've ever done. Second Life is like a miracle that it even happened, that I was able to control such a behemoth and bring it home. I was terrified the whole way. And weirdly, there's a drabble series that is called The Sins of Severus Snape that I am still really proud of. I think of those like linked poems. A real exercise in being concise for someone who likes to sprawl all over the page. Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?  

I think I've pretty much covered those questions in all my ramblings. I knew the general structure, I was happily surprised along the way, and I learned to write novels from writing fanfiction, Second Life in particular. How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? 

There's not a lot of personal parts of the story to me in Second Life. I mean, every character is drawn from me, in a way, just because they come into being informed with my way of looking at and understanding the world and other people. But there isn't a lot in there that echoes my experience. Advanced Contemporary Potion Making was personal, and I think you can feel that in the story. It takes the biggest step away from canon. It wasn't hard to write, but it was hard to live. And now, as I look back, I have a different perspective on my life and on the story itself than I did at the time that I wrote it. What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? 

Oh man, Stephen King is all over my writing. I don't think I've ever written a sex scene that didn't have a grain of that scene in the sewers of It inside it. Not because of the child thing--I know that skeeves people out about that scene--but because in it, Beverly discovers the power of sex--sex as a force, a life-giving force, something with teeth. I think that idea shows up a lot in Second Life. I like fiction in which you are very much inside the character's heads, and I think that's apparent in my writing. I think I got that initially from Stephen King, who leaps around inside his different character's heads sometimes in the same paragraph! I also think the theme of unending loyalty, the power of friendship, the triumph of good over evil--those are very Kingian themes that I recognized in Potter and then carried into my own writing. Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? 

Yes. That wasn't always the case. During the time that I was active in the fandom, I was a young elementary school teacher, and I dreaded anyone finding out that I wrote sex scenes with children's book characters. I was very private about my fanfic then, and even a few of my closest real life people did not know. My parents still do not know. My children are teenagers now and into fanfiction in their own right; they know I wrote it, but they don't know my ship or my pen name. My husband has read most of Second Life. I recently started a new job, and during one of those "get to know you" games, I was asked to share something that other people wouldn't guess about me. I said that I had once been a fanfiction writer. How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

Mmm. I wrote the stories I wanted to read. Do you know what I mean? I wrote things because that's how I wanted to see them, how I wished they were, and I wrote to my own preferences. But writing in real time, for people who were actually reading and responding--that was crucial to the process. My biggest fear during the writing of Second Life was that I wouldn't finish it, or that I would lose control of it and it would become crap. "Breaking the story," I used to say, and I was terrified of breaking the story. But the fact that there were people experiencing it with me and waiting for it, reacting to it, and giving insightful feedback--that helped keep me very focused and motivated. I never wrote something because I thought it would be appealing to others, but I was so gratified that what I wrote did appeal to others. How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? 

I had a LiveJournal and although I was not a frequent poster, I read my friends list every day during that time. I read what everyone else was reading and talked about the stories and themes that everyone else was talking about. I made a number very close friends during that time--other authors, people who were reading my stories and commenting. We talked on the phone frequently, and I had a team of beta readers. I went to conventions. I participated in the ss/hg exchange. A lot of those people were my audience, were reading my stories. And many of them became my good friends. I had a policy to answer all reviews when I was writing Second Life, and I did that until I was unable to do it anymore. When I had multiple stories it got much harder. That community changed a lot toward the end of my time in it. People were leaving LiveJournal, and Tumblr was on the rise, which felt like a much bigger pond. AO3 was replacing the smaller archives on which I had really grown as a writer. And once the movies were over and there was no more "fresh canon," people started to drift away. I do think that I might have lasted longer if that tight knit community had stayed in place. It played a big role in my commitment to my work and continued enthusiasm. As a side note, one of the friends I made in the SS/HG community is still my best friend. She is the "aunt" to my children, and we still talk on the phone weekly and visit at least yearly. What is the best advice you've received about writing? 

If you want to write, then write. Make a routine. Write a certain number of words a day. Read them out loud to yourself. You'll hear your own bad habits and improve them.

What do you do when you hit writer's block? 

If I'm already in a project, I will force myself to write a certain number of words per day. I will hold a scene that I'm longing to write out in front of myself like a carrot. Like, if you write this transition part that feels yucky and like you are stuck in it, then you can write the big reunion scene that you know is coming. If I'm not in a project... well, then I don't get through it. I just don't start a new project.  If I need to write a story, as I did during graduate school or during the ss/hg exchange--I would do this thing one of my professors suggested--pick three headlines, words or ideas that have interested you over time and force them into the same story. Dark Santiago was that way. I had the prompt of fortune telling. I added an idea about the way magic works for muggleborns and the ocean town where I was living. Voila: Dark Santiago.   Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? 

I'm sure it has in ways I can't even see. I remember once talking to a friend on the phone about Second Life as I was writing it, and she pointed out that the fact that I'm a Quaker was informing the story--like my own perspective on war and the horrors of violence were bleeding into the the kind of philosophy of Second Life. Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? 

I don't. I wish I did! I often miss my time in fandom, the spirit of creativity and community, all those ideas just bubbling out in every direction. Any words of encouragement to other writers? 

I don't believe that the end goal of fanfiction is to become a published writer, just as I don't think every guitarist has to have the goal of selling out a stadium, or every golfer has to want to compete in the Masters. I think you can love a thing without making it your livelihood. You become a "real" author the minute someone else reads a story that you wrote. Many of you reading this right now are people who made me an author. It is, as Stephen King once wrote, a kind of telepathy. I thought of something once, in 2008, in the southeast of the US, and you can read it right now wherever you are, and experience the thoughts and feelings I was dreaming up then. It's a wonderful gift, writing. And working among people who are dedicated to improving their craft and talking about stories and ideas--that is just the very best ground for making something that makes YOU proud. Thanks so much for giving us your time.  

Thank you! I am really honored to be asked

[kinkymagnus]

thoughts on alec? since this is mainly a magnus blog i guess i'm curious.

kfjlkfgjd thanks for resending sorry tumblr’s a bitch ily

eh i feel like generally i talk mostly about magnus bc Every Other Blog (not literally obviously but like, in general) talks about Only Alec just like…..24/7

so while i like him fine, he’s like, mostly Magnus’s Love Interest on my blog lghjflgkhjfgh but honestly just generally while i do like him i honestly don’t find him that….interesting, individually, i guess? i mean he’s not quite boring, but he’s not a character i really relate to

so the reason i don’t really write alec-centric stuff is like. 1. i just don’t find him as interesting (although i’ve had a few ideas, they’ll likely never be published thanks to…) 2. Spite

aka the alec stans suck. the Alec Stans™ to be clear, the ones who suck, not everyone who likes alec. but like, yeah

anyway let’s not just talk salt and me being petty, despite alec being not my fave i can afford to answer one (1) ask without my entire blog crumbling down and revealing i’ve been an alec stan this whole time without me even knowing it

ok so alec headcanons i guess

1. alec was a chatty kid. not what you’d think, right? but then like, he was taking care of izzy, bc she’s his baby sister and Protective, and jace wasn’t really the type to listen to him. like, ever. alec would suddenly realize jace hadn’t been listening the whole time pretty much every time he tried to have a conversation with him or talk about things he was interested in, even when he listened when jace talked about his latest crush or whatever he was interested in. alec started abruptly going quiet before his sentence was finished, and jace didn’t seem to notice or was just like oh good you’re finally done talking, here’s what i was gonna say. eventually alec gives up. he still talks to izzy but she’s so little it’s a lot slower paced and he usually pays more attention to her than what he wants to say bc Baby Sister. by the time izzy’s old enough to like, properly, hold a conversation (she is also pretty chatty) alec’s already gone a lot quieter. by the time we see him, he basically doesn’t initiate conversation on things he’s interested in that aren’t work-related. he does still sometimes talk to izzy, but it’s hard to get the words out and get everything sounding right, so he gets annoyed with himself. it doesn’t come as easy anymore.

and not to show my magnus stan roots but magnus is kind of similar, albeit way less clear cut, he tends to ramble and talk a lot about his special interests only to shut himself up when he realizes he’s definitely boring whoever he’s talking to (he isn’t, necessarily, but after enough times being told to shut up when you get excited you believe everyone wants you to shut up.) and then he was trying to keep up the whole classy unaffected stylish “def not an adorkable disaster bi nerd, i am dangerous deadly unaffected lothario man who has never even heard of star trek or whatever” facade, and rambling about whatever interested him didn’t really fit that. so he retreated more into himself, too. he did have his friends to talk to, but catarina is so busy and he doesn’t want to bother her and raphael doesn’t want to hear his foolish old dad ramble on, does he, and ragnor–he’d always put up with magnus’s babble, and listened, but magnus felt like he was boring him and then ragnor was–well.

anyway so to united these, then, they met each other. and it takes a while, but they get comfortable with each other. magnus goes on a long ramble about a potion he’s been trying to get just right and then cuts himself off, embarrassed, and apologizes for probably boring alec, and alec’s like what? no, that was really interesting, i was listening, can you explain the thing with the mandrake root? and magnus is like…oh.. (also side note: magnus is incredibly cute when rambling about things he’s interested in, he waves his hands a lot and his eyes are all excited and warm and he’s so lively, and clearly passionate, that it’s engaging and pulls you in. like a really good professor. and sometimes he starts talking about something way above most people’s heads without realizing how Smart he is, but if you ask him to clarify he’s like, totally non-condescending and explains it in creative and understandable way????? sorry im in love with adhd magnus thanks to someone anyway)

and then vice versa, alec slowly feels more comfortable talking about things that interest him, like a book he’s been reading and how it’s so fucking stupid the heroine went for the “blonde bad boy” when he’s such a dick to her, or whatever, like it starts as an angry rant about something but before he can cut himself off he realizes magnus is listening. like, actually listening. and like, if it’s appropriate, magnus will ask questions, engage in what alec’s talking about, and alec finds himself getting better at putting to words what he means and magnus is never mean about it, always patient and understanding

2. as a kid alec read romance novels. cheesy shitty fun romance novels. especially the ones that are like, written by women (or better, queer people, but that’s later) and aren’t weird? you know what i mean? and he loved them. romance was something young alec dreamed of a lot, even if he tried to ignore how he preferred tall, dark, and handsome to the main character, or the kind man the heroine fell in love with to the heroine herself. he hid trashy romance novels like most teen boys his age (including jace) hid porn magazines or whatever. he eventually maybe found some queer lit, but he didn’t dare to bring those back to the institute, instead choosing to go to the library the few times he had free time to sneak out (aka when he wasn’t working, sleeping, training, or watching izzy and jaces’ backs when they snuck out to clubs and shit.

also: 3. also i stand by the fact that alec wasn’t in denial about being gay. he wasn’t repressed, he knew exactly what he wanted and who he was, he just didn’t think it was possible for him to be with a man and be happy. 

4. alec isn’t a sweet innocent baby boy!!!! he’s seen porn, he knows how sex works, he’s masturbated, and honestly i know the show said otherwise but i find it hard to believe he never once fooled around even a little bit. just a little bit. no actual dating? not hard to believe at all. even being a “virgin” despite how outdated and terrible the concept is, not unbelievable. plenty of “normal” people reach college-age without ever having had sex, let alone shadowhunters raised to be demon-fighting soldiers. but like. look. he has the Energy. alec….Alec Fucks. also just something about the whole like, his siblings are always sneaking off to clubs and he follows them to watch their backs (is this canon or just common fanon? i honestly don’t remember) just screams to me hey, he may or may not have made out with an adventurous seelie or a mundane with eyes. or maybe a blowjob or a handjob, who knows. i’m JUST SAYING. i know this isn’t canon but i don’t care. alec lightwood has seen a dick

5. alec is ridiculously protective of people he loves. especially family (both in the sense of literal family like izzy, and family in the sense of “making your own family” like magnus) like he’d kill for them, he’d die for them, he’d live forever for them,

6. alec can and will become immortal for magnus. and not just literally only for magnus, for himself as well–like he doesn’t have to spend the rest of his life being a tool for the clave, he can work for better relations between downworlders and shadowhunters, and like accords that aren’t shitty, and he can be more than just another soldier or even head of the institute, he can be more and have time to actually spend time on himself, like it doesn’t have to be training-work-protect his siblings-sleep-training, and then one day he gets married and has kids and dies. he can actually experience the world, do things he enjoys, spend time with his husband, and most of all, he can spend the rest of his life with magnus bane, the love of his life, his husband, someone he loves so much. he can make sure magnus’s heart doesn’t get broken again by falling in love only to lose him. they get their happy ending, you know???? we stan

7. alec would be a great dad i dont know what to tell you he just would be 

8. one of the first kinks alec realized he really had like. with magnus. was office sex. yes im a slut what about it

this is bc he was minding his own business, doing paperwork at his desk, and magnus maybe sent a flirty text and alec was like mm i want to fuck him right now. and then he was staring at his desk thinking mm i want to bend him over this desk, sweep all this paper off the desk and rip off his clothes, take off his panties last and then lick his pussy until he’s begging for me to fuck him then press his chest down against the desk and fuck him until he screams. maybe i could tie his wrists behind his back with a tie. like i’m his boss? oh my god magnus in a secretary outfit. shit. he gets no work done that day. it’s just a rabbit hole of one thought to another until he’s like. sitting there hard and unable to focus on his work bc the mental image of magnus bent over in a skirt over his desk keeps playing his mind and he doesn’t want to do this paperwork he’d much rather be doing his husband.

9. alec loves making out with magnus on the couch like they’re just chilling and watching a movie and cuddling and alec loves to pull magnus into his arms and just make out. like literally not even “this ends in sex and gets hot and heavy” literally just magnus in his arms. and they kiss a lot. it’s soft and warm and relaxing tbh

10. magnus!!! and alec!!! cuddling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they both love it!!!!!! they’re both lowkey touch-starved!!!!!!

11. alec’s a dom top and that’s that my dudes

[emperor-of-blood]

Aight so I guess I’m doing a session review?/Prediction?/Analysis of how I think @neonwolfeh session might go.

So starting this off with the premise:

It’s a normal session with no specific prototyping fuckery or trolls or whatever. and I got some brief character summaries:

Ross, Heir of Doom: Ross is a jaded, angry guy who just wants to have -One Good Daytm-.

Luca, Rogue of Life: Pretty upbeat, tries to make the best of every situation (and does not succeed). 

Kase, Seer of Rage: Fuckin edgelord, thats p much it. Full of hate and will say slurs. 

Abby, Witch of Hope: Basically a shoujo anime protagonist, awkward and peppy and sweet. 

Odin, Prince of Time: Embodiment of nervousness and jumpiness. This guy needs a nap and a hug.

Niko, Knight of Space: Like Dave Strider if he was as suave as 2012 fanon interpretations said he is.

And now for my takes on them:

So starting off my initial impressions of the session are complete failure, mostly based on one thing. Odin, the Time player. While he sounds decent enough of a guy you have to understand the reason that every session requires a Space and Time player to succeed. Technically speaking, only a Space player is needed to overcome the wall of creating a new universe. The Time player is needed because the game is just that hard. The image I get of Odin is that he won’t be actually doing much Time traveling, likely too weak-minded to believe that he could pull things off. A lot of pressure would be resting on his shoulders and he needs to answer. As I said in my Patrick Star analysis, I believe that he’s going to be wasting a lot of Time. For different reasons here though, he’s still destined to procrastinate. That is likely going to get people in his session killed. Sburb is hard and everyone involved needs to be doing their part to beat the game. 

My analysis doesn’t end with that though. We still have 5 other players to throw into the mix! Moving onto I’d like to talk about the cool cat Niko, the Knight of Space. So inherently here we have a contradictory classpect. The Knight is a protector, in their session they are supposed to cooperate with their Space player to breed The Frogtm. They are meant to be a companion. The Space class is one of solitude, barring their frog breeding partner. Space is a vast domain and both Jade and Kanaya spent most of their time alone. It’s one of their themes. They spend time worried about the bigger picture that with the smaller problems that their teammates deal with. Likely, they are very alone. And that makes me wonder, how much of the “Cool Guy” is real and how much of it is, well, him being lonely? Or a defense mechanism because of that? Keep yourself distant and aloof because that’s where you’re going to end up anyways. No reason for people to get hurt, sort of deal. 

Next I wanna talk about Luca, the Rogue of Life. I imagine her as the kind of person who is peppy to the point that it makes people uncomfortable. Trying to bring Life happiness to all of her friends by being a never ending source of sunshine. Which is all well and good, these types of people are well liked and a party falling into the traps of depression is likely to fail. That being said, I can’t help but believe that her failures come from her unending sunshine. Sometimes people just need to be sad. Life has it’s ups and down and that’s natural. People probably feel exhausted around her, much to her dismay. You must go down to rise back up. I feel like she’s probably Odin’s self proclaimed best friend and also a main source of stress for him. “You can do it!” is encouragement (He probably sees it as empty/naive), not useful advice. Her being unable to see that has got to be one of her personal challenges. She’s not responsible for rewriting everyone’s lives or fixing their problems. Those are not hurdles for her to overcome. I feel like every Rogue has some weird interaction with their aspect. As one who steals Life/steals from Life I don’t think it’s meant to be taken literally. She ain’t sucking out peoples souls. I’d say she maybe has an aura of demoralization for her enemies, kind of like a mental attack? Or it could be something more direct like absorbing Life essence through contact or something. Like a magic drain attack similar to the androids from DBZ or some equivalent. The stealing from Life is maybe... just a literal item teleportation ability? Like an actual Thief Rogue. Beyond that, she can probably bring people back to life once just like every other Life player ever.

Ross the Heir of Doom is, well, kind of a loser. but he doesn’t have to be. His main challenge is going to be realizing that his “One good daytm” isn’t just going to randomly show up. It’s something you have to work for. Once he does, he’ll probably be fine. Weirdly enough the fucking Doom player is likely the most competent out of everyone, which is really funny imo. His powers are uh. Well. One who inherits Doom/is protected by Doom. I’m shooting in the dark here despite there being a canon Heir of Doom. I’d say he maybe influences enemies to fight each other? At least early on during the passive protection phase. Later on once he awakens his powers he might be able to suck “Bad vibes” into himself, weakening his enemies and strengthening himself. That might be leeching into Thief territory but I wouldn’t know what else to say here honestly. Maybe he can fix things? Inheriting the Doom of something and taking the damage into himself? It’s up for debate.

Moving on to Kase, Seer of Rage. The dude’s probably a complete asshole. The kind that you question why you’re even friends with them. Probably racist but also hates people in general and claims that it’s OK because of that. Probably gets along really well with animals because of that too. He’s probably feeding into Odin’s insecurities, which, might actually be helping him stay until he’s really ready to time travel. But that’s not Kase’s intention (Ask him about it afterwards and he’ll claim otherwise forever.). He just want’s to be a dick and thinks being edgy or ironic is cool. As on who understands Rage he’s likely well aware that it can be useful in the right scenarios. Maybe he lets himself get taken by the berserker Rage at just the right moment and come back down afterwards. But he hasn’t really come down. You can’t just have a heart filled with Rage and hate and be a normal person the rest of the time. He can probably tell when it’s time for others to let loose as well. But likely has trouble convincing them. 

Kase and Ross probably get along really well.

Finally, we have Abby, the Witch of Hope. Honestly? She sounds really basic. She’s gotta be the most “Normal” person out of the bunch. Which, when your surrounded by weirdos, is a good thing. Everyone needs someone sane to fall back on and that’s definitely her. I imagine that’s how she manipulates Hope, just giving people some reference, some piece of mind, that they haven’t gone off the deep end. Or maybe that the have and need to rethink things. She’s probably the one that’ll help Odin figure his shit out. Maybe she drafts up a plan of events he should change. Then in the new timeline he seeks out her help again and repeats this until he can do things himself. While I don’t see her as the leader of the party, she is likely the anchor. She also probably will play a bog role in everyone else figuring out their shit too. Telling Ross to shut the fuck up, Kase to man up and do something, Luca to do something productive, Niko to call her when he the loneliness starts getting to him, just to talk. Her challenges likely revolve around realizing how important she is. After all, she’s just a shoujo protag, what can she do? Everyone is out there killing monsters or solving puzzles or hacking their alchemists. Ans she’s just a plain Jane. But that’s what makes her special. Her powers are probably basic hope lasers and maybe being good at giving speeches. 

So with that out of the way how would the actual session go? Well, I think there’s a lot of fighting. I imagine Kase wants to be the leader being the “Only one capable of it” and he’s not exactly wrong. But he’s also insufferable. So it doesn’t matter that he’s competent because nobody wants to listen to him. The only other options are Luca who everyone also likely can’t deal with for extended periods of time for previously stated reasons; or Niko, who is likely to busy with their own shit to also manage the party. So I think everyone has to meet up and decide that it’s probably best for Kase to be leader and that everyone should just agree to follow him and give him some advice where they can. Kase is probably actually competent. He’s likely a bad leader but an even worse follower. I can imagine him just ignoring anyone else as the leader and going off to do his own thing and fucking shit up. With him as the leader, not causing trouble and everyone else in a kind of, secret alliance I guess, the key players are going to be Odin and Abby. Odin needs to be able to fill his role or everyone dies. Simple as that. Abby needs to a) help him figure his shit out if he can’t on his own. And b) help ground everyone else (So they can solve their problems) and keep some semblance of sanity. If they can, there’s a solid shot at victory. If Odin dies before he can Time travel, well, I guess that’s that. There’s a lot of personal challenges to overcome based on a character’s classpect and I think it really comes down to, are these people/characters capable of growth? 

Hopefully the way I viewed the characters was how you wanted but with so little to go on I might have misinterpreted somethings. Either way this was fun!

[gaygwenpool]

*slams fists on table* MYSTELEON

I knew you wouldnt disappoint! :D  tho you already know most of these lmaoo  lotsa credit to @herbofoo anyway, i dont remember which of these you came up with but Patchwork wouldnt be the same without your Good Good Content! (And of course thanks for all your patience as i cry about comics lmao)

I’ve lost all shame long since ive started shipping them so brace yourself for the self-indulgent cheese that is Chameleon/Mysterio in my Patchwork verse. (its reallly. really Melodramatic. i gave up all pretense.. also under the cut cuz its long..)

ask meme

Who cooks:

Mysterio! Although Chameleon is objectively The Superior Cook thanks to the long years of being a servant to picky russian nobility BUT exactly because of that, he really doesnt enjoy it, even less when cooking for others and not just himself. So it is usually Beck who prepares meals (that are not bad either, they are just simpler) but as often as they can, they eat out. That said, Cham is very well aware Quentin loves his cooking so sometimes, he makes them something. (Being sick isnt so bad when it means Chammy bringin you a big bowl of hot borscht :)

On the other hand, Cham has quite a sweet tooth which Q notices Fast and decides to learn how to bake. It took more effort and failed tries than it could have, mostly because he got cocky, how hard could this be and just. kept forgetting he put stuff in the oven.. But now he makes quite delicious cookies n cakes which make Dmitri almost tear up because tasty + Quentin baked something Specifically for him?? 

Who does the laundry and other chores:

Mysterio’s laundry is usually booby trapped so he has to clean it himself and he doesnt even let Cham near it. And he keeps forgetting gadgets in his civvies. Not to mention that again, for the same servant reason, Cham really doesnt enjoy house chores in general, so he usually just gets his own clothes cleaned somewhere else (especially since his fancy suits and even fancier gowns are the highest quality and delicate materials, he doesnt even Know how to clean them..) 

As for the rest of the chores, its pretty balanced, although Cham has more of an eye for things that needs to be cleaned up (and Beck already has cooking duties) so he does a tad more. 

How many children do they have + Any pets:

In my Patchwork universe there’s a whole Thing about Leon, the Chameleon of the Ultimate universe but I’ve tried to type up a short summary and failed, it’s a long story lmao ^^;; and anyway he isnt exactly their kid, he is just much younger than them and they ended up sorta mentoring him. 

However, they have Celavi, the escaped ex-spy beluga.(Yes, it started as a joke based on this post that accidentally grew more and more serious until @herbofoo and me were too attached to let it go) She counts pretty much as their adopted daughter that they both spoil to hell and back, I mean no surprise, she saved Cham’s life once and sometimes, she helps out with heists. (Mostly for the show, you should have SEEN the look on Spider’s face when a beluga splashed him. He is used to humanoid sharks, to Hydroman.. not like. real life beluga that LAUGHS at him) Beck’s voice: “Dont you dare to insult her, SHE IS PERFECT AND FLAWLESS and A GOODNESS INCARNATE!! -she is literally a deserted russian spy that was trained to gather everything that could be used to harm USA-yea, i have a soft spot for those ;)“

She was always surprisingly clever so she never really counted as a “pet” and at one point, she even bonds with a symbiote (together they are Vague, again long story ah ha). They dont talk but have quite some range of vocalisations so communication isnt a problem. 

Who’s more dominant: 

They both have pretty dominant strong personalities (ok chameleon’s a bit more complicated with that but like.) with big egos who dont like others questioning their superiority. (Of course not at the level of like Doc Ock etc, they are surprisingly flexible and good team players that can be willing to let someone else take the spotlight if they are Nice) But the whole point of their relationship is that neither of them is dominant over the other, they get enough of that literally everywhere else. It’s very reassuring to be so sure that they are on equal footing, cooperating, no hidden nooses around their neck. Especially in their line of work of course! 

(Also, for the other interpretation of this question: anythin remotely sexual happens Pretty Late in the story and both of them are somewhere on the ace spectrum so it doesnt happen that often but they are both verses tho Beck bottoms more)

Favorite nonsexual activity:

MOVIES!! Sprawled on the giant comfy couch, closer than technically needed, cuddling and watching old movies with great special effects and/or great actors! Listening to Beck excitedly rant through the most dramatic speech of the story as he explains how the next cliffhanger is done with hydraulics! Focusing so hard on the stars in his eyes and his excited tone and gestures and just the tone of his voice you forgot to listen to the words themselves! Watching Cham’s face flawlessly mimic the faces on the screen in a blink of an eye and secretly guessing which one will he pick next. Feeling his head slowly fall on your shoulder, eyes closed, his mask smooth but not tense, instead just.. peaceful. Slight ping of annoyance, after all, this is A Classic movie dammit, but it’s gone in a second because Mitya hasnt slept since thursday and you are just relieved he is finally getting his rest. Feeling his warmth under your hand on his shoulders and suddenly never ever wanting to get up again.. EHM. anyway

PLANING HEISTS TOGETHER!! and more or less successfully executing them but planning is actually even more fun aside from the Big Reveals and Entrances which are actually harder to coordinate than one would think! 

Lots of shobiz/job talk actually, they really enjoy what they do! Lots of people already mentioned that in their hc compilations but i agree, they love goin to see all kinds of movies and plays and performances as well as acting various scenes with one another!  

Their favorite place to be together:

NEW YORK CITY BABEYY. Sure they love to travel and see other countries (and cause mayhem there) but.. they love their mess of a city, it’s never the same without the webhead around as well as the bazillion of other heroes n villains bashin each other’s heads. 

Any traditions:

Oh so many pop culture references and inside jokes, oh my god. One time, they spent the entire heist (and its planning period) speaking strictly in famous movie lines and titles, Max and other sixers tried to join but didnt last too long :’D 

Beck also has a habit of taking pictures of people with Interesting faces or styles he sees and sends them to Cham. Also another fanon classic: together they have a running game, disguising themselves as moderately famous people and the other guessing who..

Their “song”:

‘This is me’ from the Greatest Showman, i just live for the two of them singin it in Cham’s car,off key but fully immersed and living it. 

What they do for each other on holidays:

Neither of them are religious but that doesnt stop Beck from going ALL OUT at any opportunity, Sin Six doesn’t do any heists around holidays because you Know he’d make them dress for the occasion or worse, write them themed lines…  They still meet for Christmas and Hanukkah and sometimes other holidays too because this is my AU and you can pry festivities-related shenanigans from my cold, cold hands. It’s always at Beck’s place tho because he can turn his hideout into the tackiest holiday-themed showcase but he aint roping them into it.  

On the other hand, Cham despises American commercialized holidays in general and Christmas time especially, since it’s not a big thing in Russia and  also once again, he has family issues for days. (Although relatively speaking, he is pretty over these, he is not gonna like mope around or anything) 

Anyway, what they do for each other is that they try to compromise, Dmitri doesnt sneer at stupid kitsch decorations every 5 minutes and Quentin ..chills a little. :’D To be fair, Beck makes everything fun and having Cham there makes Beck appreciate the details more instead of just goin into BETTER!BIGGER! frenzy.

Where did they go for their honeymoon:

After the fuckin Ages of pinning, when they finally end up together for realsies, they wanted somethin Big and Flashy! (Well Beck wanted and Cham kinda too but also with the option to merge with the crowd unnoticed and take some chill time) Anyway they went on a whole world wide tour! Starting with a luxury cruise, they took their time, lots of crime sprees to plan and execute, lots of local shows to see, lots of dumb heroes to fool, they’re gonna have it all! 

Where did they first meet:

Around the time when Cham and Hammerhead had their criminal empire running Fisk to the ground, Otto decided the Sin Six should team up with them for their ressources needed on one heist or something. They agreed but Cham insisted on actually going in the field, it’s been a while since he really stretched his face legs like this and the mafia life was starting to bore him. Doc made him team up with Mysterio much to the fishbowl’s dismay because why do they need another disguise artist?? He is the Master Of Illusions dammit, he can run circles around this guy, what the fuck Otto?? So at the start, he pouts and fumes under his helmet and in general he is his v unpleasant self but… He can’t help but notice that the new guy is a real professional, he even uses Traditional masks, he likes the same movies… And most importantly, he is actually interested in Mysti’s craft, asking questions and even LISTENING to his long winded answers… At one point he even wondered if that X thing was meant as a HOMMAGE to the Y movie, the Six never did that!! (Usually the rest of the sixers dont know the reference, heathens, and when they do, they mock him for it, that he’s copying ideas and mixin them ridiculously.  BUT THIS GUY GETS IT!!) So it doesn’t take long for them to hit it off, of course at this point without any real Trust behind it but it’s a start. 

(Though Beck does pay a visit to Otto like, buddy pal i know you’ve been planning on manipulating these crimelords to your end somehow and honestly, any other day i’d be down, i actually had a robot prepared for my own backstab but i was thinking they werent that bad and maybe we Could hold our end of the bargain this time and just. leave each other on good terms? Mabye? Obviously it’s purely out of respect for our teammate Kraven since him and Chameleon seem to have some history, nothing more, definitely nothing to do with how bright Cham’s eyes were when i was showing him the back of my stage… ) 

What do they fight over:

this whole post has been a mountain of cheese but im bringing more! Honestly, goin through my notes on Patchwork, their biggest arguments have always been about.. the other one not taking proper care of himself :’D Or them lashing out because they were scared and worried about the other and they cant stand being so vulnerable while the other pretends it’s not a big deal because they dont know how to handle genuine concern directed at them. 

Do they go on vacations, if so where:

GIVE!!! BECK!!!! HIS!!!! ISLAND!!!!!!They actually do have one, it’s where Celavi spends most of the time and they visit her often. But never for too long, neither of them can actually spend too long doing nothing.. 

[invelleity]

psst. be honest. all of the questions. go.

i can’t believe jeanette is tryina kill me in public and i’m still love her??? | not accepting anymoooore | @ltbroccoli​

cracks knuckles here we go ( odd numbers 1-9 are here )

2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

Not very. It’s fun and cute and all, but I care a whole lot more about “clicking” with people and having fun writing with them.

Exception: If someone’s aesthetic is so overblown that I can’t even find the pages on the blog or read the text, I.....won’t interact with that tbh.

4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

(kicks down my roommate’s door at 10pm) “OK so I’m writing— stop screaming, it’s me,— I’m writing a character in Security and you’re like a double black belt or some shit, can you explain how—”

( My roommates all know it’s a thing I do but I’ve never sent them a link or shown them any of the actual writing. They’ve met a bunch of y’all over like Rabbit streams and @rumdaydreams​ irl though so like.... They Know. )

More under the cut

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

Ehhh, depends on my mood. I lean towards female muses in general ( definitely got a bigger chunk of ladies on my list, for sure for sure ) but I love my boys.

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

Uhhhh A) We’re all such dumb socially awkward blobs so it’s often hard to get to know new people.

B) The feel that if you have a good relationship with one person who writes a canon muse, it’s some kind of lowkey betrayal to write with other people who write the same muse??

C) How much I, a certified card-carrying dumbass, stress myself out about posting on a “regular” schedule. Does that count? Like I want the blogs to look “presentable” lmao and me@me Calm The Fuck Down.

10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

N / A

11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

Uhhhh, when I first started was long enough ago and the community was so different a lot of those lessons no longer apply. I wish when I finally jumped over to Tumblr I’d realized quicker how the new like....basic ways of meeting people and posting and all worked, which was mostly just a “calm down and go with the flow more, let go of your stupid rigid old habits” lmaooo.

12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

yES. Yeah. Hahaha ha h. 

But ummm, not usually. No. Most of my drama has been either A) me posting the very very softest, most diluted version of barely-touching on my politics and my real goddamn life and people being fuckin butthurt as hell about or B) cutting people who were toxic and draining out of my life. So.

13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

cw suicidal ideation ment

Yeah. Once I actually did — when I started college I just didn’t have the time, so I peaced from the larger community to just write with close friends for a while. I’ve also considered leaving the T.umblr RPC a few times, but really only because of long bad depressive episodes. Coming back and “not wanting to literally die irl ha Ha” and catching up with my drafts gets me back on track lmao. 

14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?

Positive! Sometimes I worry that I spend too much time wrapped up in fiction and miss my real life, but I’ve learned to keep my time more separate so now it’s just good to have a healthy hobby that makes me happy. Also I’m definitely a much better writer for it, and there a lot of networking skills I think translate to real workplace skills so it’s 👌

15. How has rp changed you personally?

See above, tbh. And it gives me a lot of good outlets for writing ideas that would otherwise stew in my head until I hated myself for never ever writing any lmao. It’s good.

16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

Oh, I dunno. I wish I could post replies from mobile more easily, god. That’d keep me a lot more on top of my drafts lmao.

17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

Not on any of the rp blogs. ;^)

18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why? 

No, wtf

19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?

Depends on the hate — things I feel need to be addressed or I want to be clear about not tolerating I’ll post. Personal hate and mean shit I delete.

Or if it’s stupid and makes me laugh I will definitely post that shit.

20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

Sometimes. If a partner is actually pressuring me I’m real good at saying uhhh hey, fuck off about that? but sometimes partners will perfectly-innocently be enthusiastic about things I’m not super comfortable with and that’s harder to bring up. So it’s..... more like I pressure myself, whoops.

21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

Ehh. Not really. Sometimes I’ll follow a friend of a friend despite lack of interest just because, like.... My friends are smart and good, maybe I’m just not getting the right “vibe” from their blog as who really they are. Sometimes that just means we never click and I unfollow them later. Or sometimes @rumdaydreams​ drags me straight to mutual hell and we write 20,000 unfinished bullshit and meet irl and she actually talks me into wholeass new blogs and muses. So, you know. Mix bag.

22. What would make you block someone?

Red flags for manipulation and lowgrade emotional a.buse, especially ones I viscerally feel in my stomach from previous experiences. Obvious r.ight-leaning politics ( Weirdly, I’m not particularly comfortable around people who don’t think I or my friends deserve to be treated like human beings! A character quirk, haha! )

Also ngl sometimes I block people just to remind myself I’ve followed them before and I don’t wanna re-follow them six times and look like I’m trying to intentionally harass them. My memory is bad but the block button always knows, lmao. 😅

23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?

Not intentionally — I try very hard not to steal hc from duplicates or take plots without asking. But, y’know, sometimes an idea sticks in your head and you eventually just forget where it originally came from.

24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?

Not that I’m aware of.

25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

Absolutely, for the most part! I like seeing other perspectives, and especially since @thewrongsorts​ is such a bigass multi it lowkey just makes my life easier.

There are a few exceptions — less because they’re duplicates and more because there are hc/fanon I just......dislike enough I don’t wanna write with them. Not a feeling that’s limited to duplicates tbh.

26. How do you feel about vague posting? 

Ehhh. It’s like not a great thing, but I get the appeal. I tend to unfollow if someone posts a lot of it because then they’re just passive-aggressive as a person, but the occasional vagueblog I don’t mind. Sometimes you gotta get shit off your chest but you don’t wanna make it a wholeass call-out, I get it.

27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?

Generally I unfollow. I’m here to write, if we’re not interacting it’s clogging my dash. ( Honestly I unfollow mutuals eventually if we never write.... ) But very occasionally someone’s got such good #takes and hc that I stick around just bc I stan.

28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?

A l w a y s.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

It’s nice! Like.... I wouldn’t require anyone to do it, but it makes people feel better about their blogs, it’s polite. I know I’m happier getting memes as well as passing them along. You know, be social. Connect with people. I always try to practice it, yeah.

30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?

Uhhh, yeah. My irl social circles are a lot of dumb gay millennials, we use a lot of dumb internet slang.

31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge?

Oh yeah! Joined Tumblr rpc ten years late with Starbucks! But also like.... I’m a web developer. 90% of my irl workskills are being good at Googlin’ shit. So I’ve pretty much always found the answer on my own, at least. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

32. Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? 

( See above. )

33. Have you ever experienced discrimination? 

Here or irl or....? I mean yes in any case, but much less often in the rpc specifically. This blog is a lot less outspoken ( both about politics or about who I....am....generally ) than most of my others or me irl.

Shoutout to that time I complained one (1) time about how copacetic the H.arry P.otter rpc is and an actual irl n.eon.azi jumped in my inbox lmaooooooo.

34. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

Uhhh, I don’t love it? But if they mostly chill and don’t fuck with my actual threads I usually ignore them. ¯\_( ‘ ‘ )_/¯

35. Have you ever cried while writing a reply?

No. I’m not like......good at crying. 😐

36. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

Depends on the blog. Some multis I follow are in fandoms I just like don’t even understand, so I don’t read those. Sometimes I just don’t got the energy. But I read a lot of my friends’ other threads or threads on blogs I stan.

Good writing is good shit and I’m.....a big 👀 bitch. Tbh.

37. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

Call-out posts, bringing real life politics into rp, generally acknowledging that we have lives outside of the fictional world that affect how we read and interact with fiction.

( 👏 The O.rder 👏👏 of the 👏 P.hoenix 👏👏 is A.ntif.a 👏👏👏 )

I don’t want to ever push that onto other people though, definitely. (Especially people affected by terrifying irl politics and coming here for escapism. )

38. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?

Always 👏👏 tag 👏👏 fucking 👏 triggers 👏👏👏

I tag things that are common or obviously upsetting, and if someone asks I add whatever tags they need to my list — the “list” is mostly a mental tally so I occasionally fuck up, but god I feel strongly about triggers.

Let 👏 people 👏 who are hurting 👏👏 live. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

39. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

Poking around to see how other people seem to “operate” and scrolling through posts about how to get started is so so so fucking helpful! Don’t be afraid to do it!

Also reach out to people as much as you can work up the spoons to. If they’re rude back to you, like..... They were never worth your time anyhow. You dodged a bullet.

( Value yourself 2k19 )

[thespace-dragon]

I just wanted to say that I love your works on Ao3. They are so perfect in so many ways. The combination of fluff and angst kills me. The way you present a darker version of Lance and a more innocent/curious Keith makes my heart pound so loud because it fits so well. I love your ideas and don't get me started with the writing style. I hope you are ok :) (and if you have some advices for a bigginer in the art of writing I am glad to listen) Looking forward to reading more of your MASTERPIECES!

a;skdjgnasg fuck i got so caught up in chores today a;kngadfg, SOOrry this took so freaking long for me to answer jesus fu..

ANYWHOODLES THANK YOU AGAIN FOR LIKE THE BEST COMPLIMENT EVERY JUST AGHHHH i love to really play on how lance can get serious on missions and how keith is a little sheltered and go as far as i can with it. other than that i really try to stick with their canon personalities. (modern aus i dip into their fanon counterparts because theyre memes like holy fuck its awesome) and dude i feel like my writing style is all over the place dont get me started on it xD

but writing tips. gosh this will be long

write your ideas down, all of them, no exception. nothing is stupid, no headcanon not accepted, none of those thoughts. you thought it up, write it down and come back to it one day. who knows you can make it into a fic one day (look at the rift and ruins, prime examples)

write whenever you can, and strive for every day. im a little rusty with writing right now because ive been so busy i crash every time i get home and honestly im a mess, but i try to write as much as i can during my down times. it honestly helps so much.

READ. read a shitton, pick up things from other authors, other fic writers. since i dont necessarily have the motivation to write every day, i make up for it in reading. reading saves lives.

use your own experiences to add another level of depth to your fics. i do it all the time. i adapt some of my life experiences to fit into aus and such, sometimes a whole fic is a result of my life (see displaced)

let art inspire you. there have been so many times that i just let inspiration take me from art that its not even funny (i blame you @thesearchingastronaut

also let music inspire you too! just because song fics might be a little ‘outdated’ doesnt mean you still cant write them. i have a few that are based of songs completely. (which reminds me i still need to finish one of them rip)

scream and scheme. find someone that you scream ideas at and generally just bounce ideas off of them. itll help you find plotholes and what not.

plot your shit out. i cannot stress this enough. there was a time when i didnt plot and looking back on those fics now, theyre all over the place. now i typically have the main plot events all written down, and depending on how previous chapters went, i shore up plotholes in the next chapter. but main plot then break it down into chapters and create events that link everything together

let your characters grow and change. sure fanfics dont offer a lot of room for growht because we all want to remain true to the characters, but that doesnt mean you cant let them grow. its your fic, they will grow in response to how you write it.

let them have flaws too. in ruins everyone has flaws: shiro is terrible with his words despite being a great leader and a warrior. pidge has a one track mind, completely focused on the end result and not letting herself bond with the others. hunk can be timid and it makes it hard to be proud of his work. keith is stubborn, to the point where communication can be compromised because he doesnt want to listen. lance... sigh, lance is many things, the biggest being that he can trust too easily. (shiro and keith were exceptions to his rule of giving the benefit of the doubt because of their previous positions in the galra empire)but what im saying is, let them have weaknesses, let them learn from their mistakes. it makes the characters feel more 3 dimensional

dont give up. ever. if someone leaves a bad review on your fic, dont worry too much about it. you can take some of what they said into consideration, but dont let what they get you too down. on my first fic ever, i got a flame that called my original character for a universe a mary sue. did that stop me? obviously not because here i am still writing fanfics.

join group chats if you can with other writers. theyre always there to help and really give the best advice. ive met some great people by joining discord servers. some really great artists too! dont be afraid to reach out and start talking with people. my ask box is always open ^^

last but not least, and certainly not because 13 is my lucky number, but  DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANOTHER WRITER. just dont do it. it will kill your drive ebcause youre too busy thinking of how youll never catch up, never be like the writer that you admire. everyone starts somewhere, and everyone grows at their own pace. not everyone is going to be spectacular for every fic, or right out of the gate, hell, my first few fics were awful, i hate them, but i keep them around because it shows how far ive come.

oh god, i think thats it. i hope thats it xD but if you have anymore questions, or want to scream in general, dont be a stranger!! Thanks again hun :D

[jennyquill]

some kara/lena headcannons + ramblings

ok this is just for me and for funsies ive got a lot of thoughts and not a lot of people to share them with but we might as well start somewhere. 

it’s really long fam

Who’s the cuddler: definitely both? kara really likes closeness in general and lena is an absolute sucker for cuddles and + homegirl’s probs really touched starved too so they probably have major cuddling sessions where nothing really happens they just want to be as close as possible to each other. i’ve also seen some headcannons where kara’s basically a human furnace and i can see lena getting *lovingly* frustrated at her girlfriend’s ridiculous body heat but also consider: lena luthor being a cuddle slut and absolutely adoring kara’s eternal warmth

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: kara likes to default to big spoon but doesn’t mind when lena takes the reigns. they’re probably switch in this.

Fav. non sexual activity: this is a huge fanon thing and i totally am on the bandwagon for it: lazy sundays. just. an entire day where sluggish, hedonistic desires are met and they close themselves off to the world um yes pls this is very kara/lena. also music. i like the idea of them being well-read in the music world and just going to concerts ranging from mahler to andrew bird to nicki minaj and selena gomez and probably some other hipster bands. sharing each other’s spotify’s and sending each other youtube links of cool obscure bands they find. kara discovering someone’s bandcamp and lena anonymously donating to their page. lena loving the opera and introducing kara to verdi. lena having a guilty pleasure for 21 pilots or smth and kara being ???? ok let’s jam. i just really! love! music! and! kara/lena!! (omg kara teaching lena advanced music theory??? maybe lena was semi trained in her youth but never really went past building chords and one afternoon kara just takes her aside and teaches her part writing and its weird ass rules and lena catching on in an instant bc all music theory is an extension of math and logic. them writing songs together im???)

Who uses all the hot water: KARA her apartment may be big and spacious but that don’t mean her water heater is up to date

Most trivial thing they fight over: shoes. they’re like, a half shoe size a part even though lena’s smaller and maybe with certain styles kara can fit in some of lena’s nice loafers or lena lowkey uses this one specific pair of black heels of kara’s and this leads to the pettiest arguments of “those are my shoes and today is my day no you cannot wear them.” also kara accidentally putting things in hard to reach places bc she’s still getting used to living with someone who can’t just fly up to get the pans on top of the fridge.

Who does the most cleaning: they’re both pretty good at keeping things neat. lena’s not used to kara’s ‘throw this here and pick it up later’ system but they work things out. lena’s also really bad at keeping track of how fast her messes pile up and even though she always cleans after herself sometimes kara comes home and there’s just trails of paper and books and like five computers running and she’s like babe ur home office took over the house. also what’s that saying that really intelligent people are the messiest or smth? smth like “an empty desk is an empty brain” idk. i’m just thinking that even though lena presents herself nicely and clearly has a grip on herself just think about her home office being a small battlefield of stacks and files and prototypes. also lena with a messy closet is pretty believable like she may know how to match her clothes but that doesn’t necessarily mean her closet is in pristine condition idk i present to you: kara, organized closet by color and design and lena, these are my yoga pants and they’re hanging next to my 200$ suit

Who controls Netflix queue: kara is queen of netflix and all things to watch. lena doesn’t know how she manages to afford netflix and amazon prime at the same time but then again she also doesn’t know how kara affords her apartment in the first place.

Who calls the landlord when the heat doesn’t work: lena gets it done faster; kara doesn’t even notice the temperature has dropped 20 degrees until lena puts on her winter coat

Who leaves their stuff around: kara’s constantly dropping her clothes in the most random places bc supergirl reasons. lena finds her tights and button up in the bathroom at the beginning of the week and by the end of the week she’s found her shoes in the potted plant, her pants on the kitchen island, and various shirts smashed between things ranging from the stereo set to the fridge. lena’s one of those people who can always remember where they’ve left their stuff even if they’ve left it in a maze

Who remembers to buy the milk: kara’s shopping lists aren’t always practical but she does remember to buy the milk

Who remembers anniversaries: both. at the start of their relationship ena’s afraid to make it a big deal bc fear of rejection and commitment but kara rubs those fears away by being the most supportive girlfriend. also kara having her own reservations about commitment. kara knowing that relationships ask a lot out of people, that both have to work to make it happen. kara trying, despite her previous relationships to go forward and build something strong for lena and her. kara forging on, ignoring the demon in her head telling her that she can’t have it all, that she’ll never be able to find balance, that no one will truly take her for who she is. lena recognizing and soothing these fears, destroying these fears by staying steadfastly by kara’s side and saying fuck it and falling hard and fast for the girl of steel. lena being a dramatic gay and showering kara with expensive gifts and bringing her as her date to exclusive parties. kara bringing lena gifts from the sea and pretty rocks from mountains that humans can’t climb, kara finding the quiet corners of the world and bringing lena there and they build their world from each other’s strength and their secrets bonding them and told through trust. lena and kara in love and a super and a luthor defying the odds because they can and because they will.

Who cooks normally: i love the headcannons of kara being the cook bc hello it’s kara and this girl’s first love on earth (besides alex) was probably food. but i also like the idea of them both being hopeless in the kitchen? like. imagine them both trying to save money and taking cooking classes or watching baking videos online. going to the library and trying out a different recipe each week. lena making a pinterest of all the breakfast items she wants to try on lazy sundays. together, learning how to cook and messing up and getting distracted by each other so their meals turn out just a little bit burnt. kara trying to make homemade icecream. kara eating half the ingredients before lena has a chance to put the roast in the oven. them making thanksgiving dinner and it’s kind of horrible but mostly alright and eliza makes them promise to let her help them out for christmas dinner. kara and lena slowly learning to cook and turning out to be kitchen moms with a wicked way with the cookbook.

How often they fight: god just they can either have the best arguments or the worst ones. they’re both really good communicators though and they’re respectful and sure things get heated and complicated but they live by the “don’t go to bed angry” rule and it really helps. lena can close herself off, be a little dramatic, maybe be a bit reckless when it comes to her self care and kara’s got a huge heart but she’s also terribly headstrong and sometimes their respective stubbornness blinds them. kara can be extra and make rash decisions. but at the end of the day they talk things through and their similar backgrounds help them reach understandings.

What they do when they’re away from each other: kara can visit lena wherever she is in the world but she’s also got her own job and while she’d gladly visit lena everynight lena knows better than to ask her to, knows that space can be good. if lena’s gone for extended periods of time they’ll arrange call times and kara visits when she can so long distance isn’t a main concern between the two of them. supergirl duties take kara away at really random and sometimes inopportune times but lena’s a patient soul and kara always makes sure she’s communicating to lena, making lena a priority but also lena knows that supergirl is The priority and she loves her hero girlfriend. also distance makes the heart grow fonder so imagine maybe their busy schedules overlapping and them not being able to be together for two weeks to a month and both are just going crazy like. kara wanting to rush off to her girlfriend every chance that she gets but lena’s on the other side of the world and up to her neck in corporate shenanigans so when they finally are able to orbit each other again it’s like a supernova and it’s handsy and desperate but also really nice and they just kinda hold each other for awhile and take their time regrouping after the initial homecoming. also kara/lena + reunion sex. bonus points if the next day is a lazy sunday.

Nicknames: idk? i don’t really see them having nicknames unless it’s the teasing miss luthor/miss danvers. they have pet names tho. lots of babes and darlings and sweethearts.

Who is most likely to pay for dinner: lena.

Who steals the covers at night: kara likes the comfort of being in buried in covers even though she really doesn't need them. lena’s a sheet goblin and probably lowkey hogs the bed. not the kara minds bc that girl sleeps like a log in one place.

What they would get each other for gifts: kinda already answered this but also wanted to add that idk where i saw this and i wish i could find it and link it but i read a really good one somewhere where somebody was like “lena gets kara lingerie and it’s an experience” and um yes??? if someone knows what this is pls tell me and i’ll link it/give proper credit im sorry. also! kara getting lena really practical things or gifts from around the world. lena going full out billionaire baby on kara and just the two of them being high end fashion, high end living, high end everything. but also enjoying the other spectrum of comfort and maybe for kara’s birthday they go on a road trip and stay in crappy motels and eat greasy diner food and have the quintessential american experience and it’s cathartic and slow and totally theirs.

Who kissed who first: i love the idea of kara making the first move and a surprised but delighted lena being like yesss.

Who makes the first move: kara’s the one to make all the first moves i’ve decided this. lena’s always just a lil hesitant, always thinking in strategies and kara’s the one to be like ok let’s do this when and where do we meet and they just progress from there.

Who remembers things: lena’s google calendar gives onlookers heart attacks on the spot. kara balances her duties pretty well but sometimes she can slip up and something will go over her head but she’s always responsive and owns up to her actions. they remember big days and lena’s always the one to follow up on dates or plans and kara’s the one that reminds lena to eat or rest or just take some time to herself.

Who started the relationship: their lunch dates turn to dinner dates that turn to hang out sessions until they’re three months down the road in a muddle of uncharted intimacy and one day alex goes “hey where’s ur gf” and kara’s like ??? oh lena. oh. well she’s probably running late bc i know she had a meeting or smth. and alex is like. ah. and kara’s like. ah? and alex is like “u didn’t question that lena’s ur gf? gay.” and kara’s like “omg” and then shenanigans ensue and long story short they’re dating.

Who curses more: lena luthor is a very attractive curser and kara doesn’t know what to do with this information. also. kara cursing in high stress situations or when something takes her by surprise. bed cursing. also kara whispering ‘fuck’ bc of smth and lena doing the side eye emoji.

What they would do if the other was hurt: lena’s become accustomed to seeing supergirl get whipped around on the tv screen but her heart rate still speeds up everytime kara gets hurt. they learn to trust one another and just build this really lovely relationship where the worst has already happened to them so they know that together they can get through anything. lena staying by kara in her sunbed. lena taking care of her helpless gf when her powers blow out. lena being a shoulder to cry on, lena understanding when kara needs someone to understand what kara doesn’t understand. kara doing the same for lena. kara protecting lena to her last breath. kara defending lena until her voice is hoarse. kara bringing lena food. them giving each other backrubs out of comfort or out of need. both of them being just as protective as the other with just as much concern and love and care and tenderness.

Who is the dirty talker: im blushin thinking about this. lena being the vocal one but also kara being really responsive to her? yes. someone fic this. someone probably already did.

Any headcanons? i’m really into kara and lena going to galas/parties and dressing up idk it’s just the aesthetic that gets me. also the music headcannon. i want kara who sings around her apartment or whenever she’s comfortable or when she’s doing work just singing all these songs and some lena recognizes and others are hymn songs from krypton or songs from her childhood. kara being a theatre nerd and geeking out to lena and lena lowkey understanding all of kara’s references. lena knowing piano and kara knowing like twelve different instruments. idk where that huge “kara loves music and learns to control her powers through it” post is but yeah im all for this mmhmm.

i’d also like to add: cello player kara. strings are a hard discipline to learn and you have to have the right amount of pressure and speed to pull the sound out of these types of instruments. also, the cello is low and kara would probably have perfect intonation with the low rumble of the strings, the orchestra, and her super hearing. kara having an extensive knowledge of baroque music and string quartets and being a nerd and analyzing bach chorales. also choir kid kara! being a voice within many and listening to the counterpoint and changing harmony. kara danvers, not a sports kid in high school, but a fine arts kid. going silly and goofy in the drama club, painting in the art club, being in two orchestras and a band on the side. trying out the glee club (ha) and being put in the top choir bc she’s strangely and inexplicably fast at learning the languages and parts. kara forming her own string quartet with her buddies. kara being in the pep band. KARA BEING IN THE MARCHING BAND. DORKY KARA WITH GLASSES AND A HUGE TROMBONE. MAYBE A TRUMPET IDK. OMG KARA DANVERS, BASSOON PLAYER EXTRAORDINAIRE. kara slaying it at karaoke so hard that she’s not allowed back until she learns that karaoke is for fuNSIES and not for taLENTED PEOple kar a stoppppPPP. kara being That Kid that makes all the statewide festivals and competitions. kara not being in it for the glory but for the discipline, the physical balance and strain it takes her to master her craft and this makes her stand out but not in a bad way but in an inspiring way. kara rising to the top bc she practices for herself, because music is an escape like it is for a lot of kids, but especially for her.

also: kara applying her music theory knowledge from krypton to western styles of music???? im??? is it like atonal music or do they have notes that the human ear can’t pick up? what are the scales like/modes?? i don’t read the comics and i have no knowledge on the superman lore but if someone knows pleaSE SHARE. kara likes atonal music bc it’s fun to follow. kara missing krypton’s instruments and subconsciously choosing her earth instruments based on what she remembers from krypton, what feels familiar. kara liking certain pop songs on the radio because the modes are similar to a hymn she heard when she was little. kara getting lost in the dazzle of theatre bc the storylines about going home and finding one’s true self hit something deep within her. kara and music. kara and the fine arts, finding a different type of strength.

also one last thing for all you music nerds out there: don’t think about how ungodly fast she’d be at part writing and finding errors. or how she’d ace all the aural skills parts of theory exams. kara gets a music minor in college in theory and composition and it’s a breeze ok ok im done this was too much fun omg.

[mustinvestigate]

stream of consciousness headcanon…ish…thing…

...which owes entire countries’ national debts to @niceteeth-nastysmile‘s health & food canon post and @adistraughtthought‘s on MacCready’s teeth and why Lucy was just beyond brilliant.

And this is all fic-related ponderings of general standards of personal upkeep in post-apocalyptia and their divergence from vault or pre-war sensibilities and how exactly romance could surmount this, which doesn’t really earn “above the fold” status, so…

So it’s generally held in fandom lore that folk are too busy surviving to truck much with hygiene, a thought which derails the sexiness of many T+ fics before they start. Like, “We’ve been trekking across the desert nurturing a deadly two-person epidemic of UST and, oops, convenient cave-in, we’re trapped together…carrying several days’ worth of sweat and battle muck in non-breathable armor we seemingly never change, without water to drink or freshen up with, and, y’know, let’s just sit in opposite cave chambers and breathe through our mouths until rescue comes, ok?”

And a vault dweller or pre-war person would live in suspended state of horror at the miasma of human funk and yellowed snaggleteeth when they have any at all, unable to hold a civil conversation no matter how high their charisma stat. As for romancing, well…nope. Nope nope nope.

Except, in settlements at least, with more pooled resources and storage space and security to allow people to spend time on less essential tasks like making tallow soap and extra under-clothing to change regularly and water to wash clothing and bodies, they’d totally raise standards to at least those of a modern week-long camping trip, right? Being clean and in fresh clothing is one of those small achievable luxuries, on the level of toys and games or cards for communal entertainment, that makes a huuuuge difference in feeling like you’re living, not just surviving. And with teeth, well, humans have been cleaning their teeth (albeit sometimes in ways that could not have been kind to gums or enamel) since we’ve been human. Morning breath and stuck-in food bits have apparently always been pretty high on the short list of activities worth spending limited energy on fixing.

Also often found in human settlements? Doctors, or at least some form of medical-type professionals to push for improved sanitation and enough cleanliness to minimise the spread of disease, not to mention heal injuries or perform simple dentistry or help prevent/treat substance abuse and all sorts of other ailments that lead to one being unable to maintain a comfortable-ish body.

(Aside for ghouls: although they’re described in-game as smelling like rotting flesh, I call bullshit. The smell of rot comes from decay, and by definition, things which are decaying are in the process of existing increasingly…uh…less so. [I don’t know, I can’t word good today, ok? Ahem.] And since ghouls are canonically unplagued by senescence [see? Fancy words!], there’s no decay beyond a certain level of damage that would produce that particular offensive smell. And further still since the skin damage would probably render most of their sweat glands gone or non-functional anyway, they’d possibly even lack the traditional human eau du ew at the end of a hard day’s farming. Y’all just decided they smell bad because you don’t like how they look – real nice, post-apocalyptic humans. Real. Nice.)

People living outside of settlements, though…they might be a different story. Like, raiders? Forget it. You’d smell ‘em coming a mile away, where they may be gasping their last due to catastrophic bacterial infection from what started as a wee molar cavity. They’re not expending energy on small personal-upkeep luxuries, or value stealing them from those who do.

Non-sociopathic nomadic types, like traders or mercenaries or people who don’t have useful skills or can’t afford to buy into a settlement (however it works when there’s no pre-war savior throwing away land for free), where carrying space is very limited and they likely don’t have much time or energy for non-essential luxuries…yeah, they might be closer to what we picture as a standard post-apocalyptic citizen. Like…in today’s terms…your stereotypical European gap-year backpacker. You’d certainly bathe and wash clothes when the opportunity and supplies came to hand, but wouldn’t go out of your way unless your red and orange Maslows were all in the black, and if your yellow, green, and blue were already in the pink, why bother?

(Is that a coherent joke? Probably not. Requires googling. But we strike on!)

Hence, in a slightly roundabout way, we come to MacCready’s teeth, and, further, the impact therein on writing a romance with a pre-war character. Or, really, any of the romanceable companion options, but fanon, and Bethesda going out of their way to make him the only one with bad teeth, seem to hold that MacCready’s a special case. He grew up LARPing Lord of The Flies, defiantly proud that there were no adults to make them clean anything they didn’t want to, and he married a girl (brilliant doctor or not) who was part of the same culture and tolerant of near-toxic personal hygiene or at the very least, since they seemed to be on the road when she tragically died, was biding her time until they settled down to enforce better standards.

(And, seriously, Bethesda, just admit it’s the same character as the Lucy he was best buddies with instead of someone who just happened to have the same name…except that does mean that sweet girl died terribly…and now I no longer know what I want to believe. Huh.)

And a pre-war professional lady, one who’d’ve had to maintain a polished image as a non-negotiable element of her career, she’d get past this…how?

Actually…even writing this out, it still doesn’t seem insurmountable. For years, I shared a very small office with a large, manly fellow who didn’t wear deodorant, worked out before work, and ate a lot of fish-heavy lunches. It’s amazing how quickly the human nose shrugs and moves the goal-posts, particularly for lovely people you get on with, or when everyone around you’s more or less at the same level of smell, or when you’re also working out and coming in kinda sweaty and, you know, we’re all human here, right, why are we so dang picky?

And my version of Nora, for all she prefers pretty dresses and parties, isn’t averse to dirty fingernails. She was in the military, had all her hair shaved off and slogged through muddy obstacle courses and dug latrines and everything; she went hunting with her father and helped out in his plumbing shop, getting elbow-deep in animal viscera and worse. A filthy soldier-type would definitely be on her experience spectrum with probably no more judgement than welp, try to stay upwind when possible, even that forgotten after she’s been in the same outfit herself for a couple of weeks.

But the teeth, man, there’s something moreish about bad teeth, right? There’s not just the aesthetics of non-white, non-straight teeth (trust me…having moved to a country [unfairly] famous for poor-quality dentistry, I can report that uniformly white, straight chompers quickly become the weird-looking alternative) but the visceral reaction to class comma lack of, to an indicator not just of “poor” but “poor and not trying to do better.”

Like, I grew up what’s politely called white working class (in a family that mostly passes leisure time with drinking, Fox News, and stockpiling weapons of dubious origins, so, y’know, shruggy-emoticon), and you bet all of us cousins had braces. We were going to get good grades and have office jobs. Our parents were real touchy about terms like “redneck” or “okie” and wouldn’t admit to liking country music. There was something different about the kids who lived in the same area but didn’t get braces. We weren’t encouraged to make friends of them, and as for dating…well…the bad teeth on a significant other brought home would carefully, one could say pointedly, not be mentioned, but every other possible flaw would be.

In college, I dated a mysterious guy I met on Match.com, who wasn’t white and who had the worst teeth I’d ever seen in real life. They were somewhere between ferengi and pirate and I’m sad to say they were the first thing anyone would notice about him. We ended up dating for two bloody years, even talked about marriage, and the funny thing? I never found out what the deal was with those awful, awful teeth.

At first, I didn’t bring it up because, well…how bad did his childhood have to be, that no one made him brush, no one took out a loan to get him in braces? Like, bad teeth were so intrinsically linked with lower-class deprivation in my mind that I just could not even broach the topic with someone of a different ethnic background. And, anyway, he turned out to be solidly middle-class from birth, held two degrees and a software engineering cubicle job that required a tie, even on Fridays. And by that point, well…if the teeth were the first thing you noticed, the second was that he was bubbly and goofy and sweet, and when months later someone looked at a photo of us and asked, “Oh dear, what happened to that poor boy’s teeth?”, it genuinely took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about.

So, my conclusion: even when one’s brought up to see poor hygiene and bad teeth as viscerally, mockably horrifying…as romantic obstacles, they’re quite surmountable. Like, there’d be some half-hearted stocking up of new brushes and mouthwash, nagging to go see the dentist no I don’t care that your childhood dentist looked like Ted Bundy, and probably a collateral raising of their bathing frequency through shared living routines, and it’d be fine, you guys. Totally fine.

Anyway.

This is what happens after a few months without drinking, y’all. These are the brain cells that’d usually get culled off by the friendly gin hammer.