#I know it’s not me and that I’m not the problem - it’s just hard to really feel it when everyone leaves me
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stxrslut · 3 days ago
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DIDN'T GIVE UP 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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pairing; rafe cameron x sweetie!reader
summary; after getting out of rehab, rafe is desperate to be intimate with you, so it feels like his whole world falls apart when he’s unable to arouse himself. but with plenty of commitment and a promise not to give up, he finally manages to succeed, even if it’s not in the way that you’d both wished for
content; talk of addiction and rehab, brief mention of overdose, erectile dysfunction, masturbation, brief handjob
author's note; inspired by a few conversations had over on @starfxkrinc about post rehab rafe. I'm super happy with how this one turned out, I really love exploring these sides of rafe
you hold rafe’s hand as you both walk inside. tonight has been so special, your first date since rafe got out of rehab. it had been intimate and quiet and comfortable. a lovely meal at the local gourmet restaurant filled with gentle loving touches had left you both wanting more, a more that neither of you had had for a while.
even before rehab, rafe had just stopped having sex with you. you’d thought you might get somewhere but then the od happened and he’d needed to go to rehab which meant you didn’t even see him for months. 
you’re both so touch starved, no words need to be spoken before you’re both making your way up to the bedroom, kissing and fumbling with each other’s clothes, quickly and desperately.
“god— missed you so much,” he murmurs, hands on your hips as he backs through the bedroom door, turning and kicking it shut like he always used to when you first started sneaking around together.
you moan softly “me too. missed you rafe.” one of your hands wraps around his neck and the other comes down to palm at him through his pants, his bulge is noticeable but he’s not hard yet. you undo his zipper and touch him through his boxers.
you both move back towards the bed and you pull his dick out, taking it in your hand and starting to jerk him off, but you both notice something. that something being nothing, nothing is happening. his dick isn’t doing anything. 
rafe frowns and you do the same, both of you look down as your hand keeps moving for no reaction. after about thirty seconds rafe steps away, “shit I– I didn’t know that would happen.” he rubs the back of his neck, “shit… shit.” 
you step forward and place a hand on his arm, “oh rafe… hey I’m sure its normal.. you did just get outta rehab,” you try to pull him to look at you but he doesn’t, he stares straight at the floor and shrugs you off.
“no… I.. this happens when I’m high not– I’ve been sober for two months.” he exaggerates, you can hear his voice beginning to break. you had considered that this might be an obstacle but you weren’t expecting him to react like this, surely all it’s going to take is a bit of trial and error until he can get it up with as much ease as he used to.
though you suppose this must be hard for him. finally getting some normality back and he can’t even properly enjoy it. and you know how much he hates to feel emasculated. maybe it is a big deal for him. even though it’s not guaranteed to happen yet, the imminent possibility must have shocked him into a panic. 
that’s fine, you’ve dealt with rafe under much more serious circumstances.
you step forward, more confident now that you have an idea of what the problem is and how you can solve it. “rafe, sweetie don’t panic,” you speak gently, “we’re gonna sort this out okay?” 
rafe looks down at you, “sorry– sorry I’m.. just wasn’t expectin’ it..” he scratches the back of his neck, looking down at his uncovered self. you nod, understanding his distress.
“that’s okay, it was a surprise huh?” you stroke his arm gently, “you wanna try again?” you ask gently and he nods shakily, taking a calming breath before letting you guide him to the bed. he sits down first and then you climb on after him, straddling his lap and quickly managing to retain the mood you were in before.
you grind down a little and his hands come to your hips to help your movements like he normally would but he’s quickly letting out an agitated noise and pushing you off. “it’s not working,” he groans in frustration. 
you pull yourself up to sit next to him. your hand comes to his chest, “oh baby,” you coo as you notice the tears welling in his eyes that he’s so obviously trying to hold back. in his mind not being able to get aroused is bad enough, crying would just make him pathetic. 
“what do you wanna do huh?” you pry, stroking his chest now and coming up to kiss his shoulder. “I’m sure that there are things we can try… it’s only been a couple of minutes.” you try to reassure him but you’re pretty sure he’s going to be inconsolable until he can feel confident in himself again. in his mind, a couple of minutes should mean you’re already halfway through round two.
“I– I don’t understand,” he sniffles pitifully, not daring to make eye contact with you as he instead stares down at his completely motionless dick. “this wasn’t supposed to happen anymore.. I- I got sober.” 
you kiss him again, “you did baby, you got sober,” you smile sympathetically, “and this is normal, its normal to have erectile dysfunction after stuff like this.” though that reassurance sets him off more.
“don’t– don’t call it that,” he snaps ever so slightly, shoulders tensing and momentarily shrugging your hand away, “I don’t– I can’t have a dysfunction, okay it’s– it’s gotta work.” his voice breaks just a little.
you nod, “okay… okay then we’ll make it work, okay?” you move your body so that you can look him in the eyes, you bring your hand up to cup his face. “you just tell me what you need, okay? we can do whatever you want, whatevers gonna help you.” 
he thinks for a moment, you can see the cogs in his brain turning behind his eyes as he tries to find something that he thinks may help him. his lips are parted and his cheeks are slightly pink. he eventually seems to come to a conclusion, he hesitates for a moment before speaking tentatively, “can uh.. can I try doin’ it myself?”
you nod, “yeah, course baby.” you smile, proud of him for being able to articulate his need, “where do you want me? should I give you some privacy or–” 
rafe shakes his head, “can you stay,” he asks, “please… just.. I really need you to be here.” he tries to avert his eyes, he’s embarrassed, you can tell, he reeks of humiliation and you wish that you could just take it away from him. after all that he’s been through in the past few months you feel this is the last thing he deserves. 
“I’ll stay here,” you affirm, “I’ll stay here as long as you need okay? you just do whatever you need to do.” you move with him as his hand comes to grasp yours whilst the other supports him while he shakily manoeuvres himself to half sit half lay against the headboard. 
you stay on the edge of the bed, keeping a hold of his hand as that is evidently what he wants you to do. his chest rises and falls slowly as he pushes his pants further down and then gently grasps his soft dick. 
he begins to move tentatively, doing his best to throw his head back and not think about it. you stay quiet, just letting him figure it out for himself. 
he manages to get it up, a little, you notice a look of clear relief on his face as he relishes in the sensation he’d worried that he wouldn’t get back. his movement quickens and then his face falls as he loses it.
you stroke his thumb with your own, “it’s okay baby, just take your time.” you murmur softly as his face scrunches up in annoyance. but he perseveres, hand going back down to try once again.
he tries, he really tries. he tries so many times, over and over again, and to both of your increasing dismay he keeps losing it over and over again too. 
poor rafe, tears slip down his cheeks and he groans from sadness and surely a little pain at the fact that he’s basically rubbed himself raw down there. his tip is pink and angry, you have half a mind to tell him to stop but you fear he may hurt himself more if he can’t manage or stop on his own terms. 
he huffs sadly. he knows he needs to stop too, “just– just one more try.” he says, “one more.” he nods decisively before looking up to you, almost as if to ask for your blessing to just try one more time. 
of course you nod, “yeah, one more time. you’ve got this rafe,” you tell him, squeezing his hand reassuringly with a loving smile, hoping to encourage him to finally get it. 
rafe starts again, slowly at first and then he builds up his movements, it takes a long few minutes but he manages to get himself hard, fully hard. he grunts and groans and you have to stop yourself from slipping a hand under your own underwear so as not to distract him from his moment. 
after another long few minutes he practically cries out, then whimpers and then tears of relief fall down his cheeks as he finally cums. it’s not a lot, and it doesn’t last long, but it does him good. the feeling simply overwhelms him and he finally feels reassured that he can be normal again.
once he’s ridden it out you wipe the tears from his cheek with your free hand, “hey.” you smile down at him, “well done, you did so good.” you speak gently, “I’m so proud of you, you didn’t give up.” 
rafe smiles, his previous humiliation replaced with pure bliss and relief, “yeah,” he nods, sighing breaths of relief, “didn’t give up.” maybe this evening didn’t go exactly as expected, but you think, with the circumstances, it turned out okay.
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keeryhours · 16 hours ago
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please don’t go, i love you so - rafe cameron
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Baby daddy! Rafe x Baby mama! Maybank! Reader
Masterlist
Rafe Cameron Masterlist
More Baby daddy! Rafe
Summary:
When you get in a serious accident, Rafe’s true feelings are left staring him in the face.
Requested
Warnings:
Lots of drama and angst, language, serious car accident, medical stuff, talk of TBIs, broken bones, and other injuries
Word Count: 4k
A/N:
Had to do research for this one, but I’m definitely no expert on medical stuff so forgive me if I get something wrong 🥲 Requests are open! BD Rafe requests can be anywhere in the timeline, past, future, smut, fluff, or angst :) Other OBX (or ST) requests also very welcome. I hope you enjoy this one!
let me know if you want to be on any tag lists :)
@sabrina-carpenter-stan-account
“Iris, please, baby, we’ve got to get your shoes on.”
“No!” the toddler yelled back, running circles around the living room.
You were out of energy. You sat on the couch, your face in your hands, as she continued to run and you tried to clear your head and just breathe.
It had been a long day. A bad day. Iris had been absolutely wild, endless energy and more attitude in her nearly 2 year old self than you thought possible. And it didn’t help that JJ was out with the pogues, so you didn’t even have any backup. It was 7pm, nearing her bedtime, and this had been your whole day. You were over it.
Everything had been a fight with her all day, but the current one was getting her dressed for pickup. It was Rafe’s weekend, and he’d be pulling up any second. You didn’t feel too thrilled about seeing Rafe right now, either.
Things had been complicated with Rafe. You felt like it was a constant back and forth with him, especially recently. Not about co-parenting, never about Iris - you knew you were lucky that the two of you got along so well when it came to parenting your daughter. It was feelings that got tricky.
You didn’t even know how you felt about Rafe yourself. On one hand, you knew you loved him. You’d always love him. But just because you loved him didn’t mean you should be together. You could never forget the toxic situation your relationship had been. Constant fighting, endless tears, trust issues and anger problems.
That’s not even to mention the way he would act around you lately. He was hot and cold. Sometimes he acted all affectionate, kissing and touching you, fucking you, like you’d never broken up in the first place. Other times he was cold and withdrawn. It left you feeling confused, like emotional whiplash, and you were honestly tired of it.
You debated on letting yourself have a quick cry, but quickly wrote that off as you thought of how humiliating it would be to answer the door to Rafe with your face all red and puffy from crying. You took a second to collect yourself, before putting the Mom pants back on.
“Iris Elaine Cameron,” you said sternly, standing from the couch.
The little girl came to a stop, looking up at you with a big grin on her face, totally oblivious to your frustration. The sight of her angelic face softens you immediately, of course. She had her light brown hair up in tiny pigtails, dressed in one of the many outfits Rafe had bought her. Some designer brand dress, not that you had any idea about that or thought it made much sense to dress a toddler in such expensive clothes. She looked cute, though.
You held up her Mary Jane shoes. “Are you gonna let Mommy put your shoes on so Daddy can come pick you up?” you asked her, raising an eyebrow.
Her little face lit up with joy. “Dada! Dada!”
Your heart clenched in your chest. Iris had been a total Daddy’s Girl since day 1 - and Rafe was completely wrapped around her little finger - but sometimes the reminder of him hit you especially hard.
At the promise of seeing her dad soon, Iris happily hopped over to you. You smiled as you lifted her onto your lap and slid her shoes on, buckling them. “There. See? All done,” you said. Iris held her palms out and twisted them, baby sign language for all done, which made you giggle. When you had read the articles and brought it up to Rafe, he had thought teaching her sign language as an infant was dumb. But it actually ended up being extremely helpful since she couldn’t communicate with words yet.
“Book?” she asked you, and you knew exactly what she wanted - her favorite book, Where the Wild Things Are. She’d have you read it 50 times a day if you’d do it. You smiled as you reached over to unzip the diaper bag, pulling the book out. She broke into a huge grin just at the sight of it.
You opened the beloved book and began to read to her, making her giggle with the different voices you’d do for the monsters. Her favorite part was always when you or Rafe would read the line “Oh please don’t go - we’ll eat you up - we love you so!” while attacking her with kisses and tickles. She laughed so hard every time.
When the book was finished, you closed it and slipped it back in the bag to go to her dad’s. She pouted like she was about to throw a fit if you didn’t read it again. “Uh uh. You’re gonna have to wait until Daddy reads it tonight.” You leaned in, rubbing your nose against hers, making her giggle.
You sat Iris down on the ground at the exact time you heard the front door opening. You raised your eyebrows knowingly at Iris, who’s eyes went wide in the direction of the hallway. You both knew perfectly well who it was.
Rafe sauntered into the living room, sunglasses sitting on his face despite the sun already beginning to set. His bored expression was immediately replaced by a huge grin as he saw his daughter.
“Hey, baby girl,” he said, lifting her into his arms as she squealed with delight.
You avoided eye contact with Rafe, busying yourself around the living room as you made sure everything Iris needed that he didn’t already have at his place was packed in her diaper bag. Once you were satisfied, you approached Rafe with the bag, handing it over. He took it from you with a curious expression.
“You’re being weird,” he said, pushing his sunglasses up onto his head.
You ignored him, leaning over to give Iris a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, baby. I’ll see you Sunday night, okay?”
Rafe doesn’t take his eyes off you, like he’s examining you inside and out. “What’s your deal?”
You sighed - you already felt defeated and exhausted going into this encounter, you didn’t really want to do this tonight. “Nothing. Everything is fine.”
But Rafe knows you better than anyone.
He bit the inside of his cheek as he looked at you. “This is because I took Briana on another date, isn’t it?”
You felt your skin turn ice cold at the accusation, your defenses building themselves high. “That’s fucking ridiculous.”
The slightest smirk dances across his lips as he sits a wiggling Iris back on the ground, his eyes never leaving yours. “That is why you’re mad.”
You huffed an incredulous laugh as you crossed your arms and looked away from him, watching Iris start dragging everything you’d just cleaned up out of the toy box again, paying no mind to the two of you. “I’m not mad. And if I was, I have much better things to be upset about than who you choose to stick your dick into,” you hissed back at him.
Rafe barked out a laugh, looking up at the ceiling as he did like he couldn’t believe what you’d just said. “You are so full of shit.”
You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “Get out, Rafe. I’ll see you Sunday.”
He watched you for a minute longer as you both stood there in silence. Finally he let out a big sigh, running a hand over his face. “You’re such a bitch sometimes, you know that?”
You didn’t acknowledge the comment as he moved to lift Iris into his arms again, her bag slung over his shoulder. You followed him to the front door, ready to shut him out as soon as possible, but as soon as he stepped over the threshold, he turned back to you.
“You know, it’s none of your business who I see. We’re not together. You’re not my girl.”
You just looked at him, his words cutting far deeper and harder than you wanted to admit. “Same goes for you too, Rafe,” you said, thinking of the multiple times Rafe’s temper and jealousy had ruined one of your dates. Half the island was scared to even look at you because of him. It was fucking annoying.
Rafe scoffed. He shook his head one more time with that stupid grin on his face. “I’ll see you Sunday,” he said, and then he was walking off towards his truck.
You didn’t linger. You shut the door as soon as he stepped away, leaning against the wood as you took a deep, shaky breath. God, you hated that arrogant asshole sometimes.
You wallowed in your despair on the couch for a while that night, switching between various shows, none of them catching your interest. Eventually you think what’s the point, and decide to just go to bed early. You might as well take advantage of the sleep without having to worry about getting up early.
You hoped you would feel better the next day.
You didn’t.
You made breakfast for you and JJ, not something you typically do when Iris was at Rafe’s, but you felt like pancakes. And JJ certainly wasn’t going to complain.
“You look depressed,” JJ pointed out helpfully through a mouthful of pancake as you sat at the small dining table across from him.
You glared at him over your plate before eating a bite of your own breakfast. JJ held his hands up in surrender.
“Okay, okay. Touchy subject this morning, I see.”
As much as you loved your twin brother, you were relieved when he picked up his surf board after breakfast and told you he was going out. You didn’t exactly feel up to company.
With JJ gone, you attempted to stay busy around the house, but once everything was cleaned to perfection, you found yourself standing in the silent living room, feeling like you had no idea what to do with yourself. What was wrong with you, you thought. The place was always too quiet without Iris.
You needed a drive to clear your head.
You snatched your keys from the side table and left the house, still dressed in the tank top and athletic shorts you’d been cleaning the house in. You just wanted to drive around the island for a while, you weren’t really going anywhere, so you didn’t care how you looked.
You turned on your favorite sad playlist and sang at the top of your lungs to songs about love and broken hearts and pain. You felt pretty silly, but this was your time, your coping mechanism, and you weren’t going to feel bad about it.
Fuck Rafe Cameron. And not in the way you usually did.
You drove with the windows down, the salty breeze whipping through your hair, cooling your skin. You felt yourself starting to feel lighter.
You didn’t see the truck barreling faster than the speed limit around the corner. No one even had time to lay on the horn. You didn’t see or feel anything except a brief flash of pain and then - nothing.
“Wow! That’s beautiful, baby.”
Rafe lifted up the piece of paper covered in crayon scribbles, examining it like it was on display at The Louvre. It was the fifth one he’d been given since he sat on the floor with Iris, crayons and paper spread out all around them. Each piece of art went in a stack to be displayed somewhere in the house.
He watched his daughter as she picked up the green jumbo crayon and began roughly scribbling it across another blank page. The same big smile he always had around Iris was spread across his face. Nothing made him happier than spending time with her.
Rafe was caught off guard by the sound of his phone ringing loudly in his pocket. He sighed as he pulled it out, expecting to see either Topper or Kelce forgetting it was his weekend with Iris. But his eyebrows furrowed as he saw it was JJ calling him. JJ never called or texted him. They only had each other’s numbers in case of emergency.
Rafe felt a jolt of pure fear deep in his chest.
He answered the call, tentatively bringing the phone to his ear. “Maybank?” he answered.
He felt the nausea spread over him like a tidal wave when JJ spoke your name in his panicked voice. It was you. God, something bad had happened to you.
“S-slow down,” Rafe said, holding his shaking hand out in front of him as if JJ could see. Pure panic was spreading and growing through every vein in his body. “What…what happened?”
JJ’s voice was shaking too as he spoke. Rafe could tell he was pacing, probably pulling at his messy blonde hair as he did. “She- it was a truck. Guy was speeding and hit her head-on. Her car is totaled, they…they haven’t even let me see her yet. I don’t even know if she’s okay. Fuck, I shouldn’t have left this morning. Fuck!”
Rafe couldn’t even process JJ blaming himself for something that definitely wasn’t his fault, because he was doing the same thing. He had been a total asshole to you last night. The idea that that could possibly have been the last conversation he’ll ever have with you has him feeling like he’s going to be sick on the floor.
“I’m on my way,” Rafe said simply, and then he was hanging up the call, shoving his phone in his pocket and climbing to his feet.
Sarah was happy to watch Iris as Rafe grabbed his keys and sprinted to his truck, with promises to text her about your condition as soon as he knew anything at all. He probably would have been driving 15 over the speed limit if he wasn’t so disgustingly reminded of the dangers of the road. Instead he drove as fast as he safely could, a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel as he clenched his jaw tightly.
His head was spinning as he rushed into the hospital, looking around the waiting room for any sign of JJ. He didn’t see the blonde boy anywhere. He approached the receptionist desk instead, urgently giving your name to the tired looking receptionist.
“She’s in the Neuro ICU, room 5,” the receptionist said. Rafe felt his breath hitch - the fucking ICU? “We only allow two visitors at a time, and it’s immediate family only,” she continued. “You are…?”
Rafe hesitated. “Uh…I’m her boyfriend,” he said the first thing that came to mind. “But we have a child together. Please.”
The receptionist eyed him for a moment, before nodding, giving him a sympathetic look. She printed a visitor’s badge for him and handed it over. He thinks she said something about wishing you the best, but all he could hear was his own blood rushing in his ears as he mindlessly walked towards the elevators.
The last time Rafe had been in a hospital was for Iris’ birth, decidedly a much happier occasion. He felt out of place and awkward as he walked through the quiet, sterile halls, following signs pointing him where he wanted to go.
When he reached the ICU and approached room 5, he froze. He had never felt so scared in his life, he thought. He didn’t know if he could do this.
But you needed him.
He slid the glass door open, a flash of blonde hair peeking from around the privacy curtain where JJ was sitting. Rafe mustered all the strength he had to walk forward into the room. JJ looked up at him as he entered, but his eyes were immediately drawn to you as his heart shattered in his chest.
He clasped his hands behind his head as he took in the scene in front of him. He was holding off a panic attack as tears welled in his eyes. You were there on the bed, and you looked so utterly broken that it made Rafe feel like he couldn’t breathe. You were hooked up to an IV, about a million monitors mostly over your chest and head, a cast on an arm and one on a leg, a ventilator.
Rafe’s shaky legs practically gave out then, his body collapsing in the empty chair by your bedside. He was terrified to look at you, knowing he was going to start crying harder if he did. He looked at JJ instead, who looked equally wrecked, his eyes red from crying.
JJ gave Rafe the rundown the doctor had just given him. Traumatic brain injury, broken bones in your left arm and leg. You hadn’t regained consciousness at all since the accident. Things were still up in the air, nothing the doctors would say brought Rafe any comfort. They didn’t know about surgery yet, they didn’t know how long it would take you to recover, hell, they couldn’t even say if you’d be the same when you woke up.
When Rafe finally worked up the courage to be close to you, to actually look at you - he didn’t know his heart could break like this. Your normally smooth, perfect skin that he loved to trace his fingertips over because of the way you’d react to his touch, was now covered in deep bruises. Your face - that beautiful face he always adored so much, the one he fell in love with back in junior high - bruised and lacerated. He couldn’t even tell himself you were just peacefully napping. You looked like hell.
The next weeks were long and difficult. Iris stayed with the Cameron’s, and while Rafe spent every second he could drag himself away from your bedside spending it with her, he didn’t leave the hospital much at all. He grew used to sleeping in the world’s most uncomfortable chair.
Your recovery was truly a miracle. You didn’t end up needing brain surgery, but they kept you monitored for weeks. You did suffer a pretty bad TBI, and you had surgery to repair the broken bones in your arm and leg. The ventilator was removed first, which Rafe was the most relieved about, because that terrified him more than anything else.
When you finally woke up, Rafe was the first thing you saw.
The second he noticed your eyes fluttering open, Rafe was bolting up straight in his chair, his hand gently cupping your cheek with a barely-there touch as he whispered your name.
“R…Rafe?” you had croaked, voice raspy and dry from disuse and the ventilator tube being down your throat. Rafe called the nurses immediately, and multiple examinations, a plastic hospital jug of ice water, and some heavy pain meds later, you were feeling…okay.
JJ was there for most of the day like he was every day he didn’t have work. He actually cried when he showed up and saw you awake, which surprised Rafe because he didn’t even seem embarrassed about it. He just embraced you as gently as possible so as not to hurt you, and it was clear you were equally as happy to see him. There was that twin bond, something Rafe found a little weird (especially when the two of you would communicate without even talking) but also…endearing.
Recovery was a long road, and it was a lot of hard work, but the doctors were confident in your ability to return to normal in time. You had to work on your memory, your speech. Physical therapy took up most of your days. But Rafe knew you were strong, and you showed him every day. Even Iris got to visit as often as she could, but you didn’t want her in a hospital for too long so she wouldn’t get sick.
Rafe sat by your side late at night, gently brushing his fingers through your hair as you laid with your eyes closed, enjoying the feeling. Your hospital stay was finally almost over. You’d be coming home tomorrow, staying with the Camerons so you had the help.
You opened your eyes and looked up at him. You were happy, but his behavior was confusing to you at the same time. “You’re being weirdly sweet,” you said with a teasing smile.
Rafe looked away from your eyes. “Yeah…well.”
The two of you sat with that silence for a while. You knew there was plenty he wasn’t saying, and you wondered if he would.
Rafe reached forward and traced a finger along your cheek, over your jaw line. The cuts and bruises on your face were mostly healed now, and you were endlessly grateful when they told you they didn’t expect any lasting scarring. His light touch sent a shiver through your body.
When Rafe finally spoke again, he sounded different than you had ever heard him. His voice was weak, broken. “Don’t do that to me again.”
Your face fell as you looked at him - really looked at him - and saw the pain hidden deep behind his blue eyes. Obviously you knew none of this was your fault, but you felt terrible for what you’d put your loved ones through all the same.
“I’m sorry-“ you began to say, but Rafe shook his head.
“Do you understand that I love you?” he said, his voice choked up as tears welled in those deep eyes. The words hit you like a physical blow, you felt yourself moving back as you looked him in the face. “I don’t give a fuck about Briana, or any other girl on this island compared to you. And it’s not just ‘we were together for a while and you’re the mother of my daughter so I’ll always love you’,” he continued, like the words were spilling out of his mouth faster than he could control. “No, like, I love you.”
He was looking you so intensely in the eyes that it took your breath away. You felt tears in your own eyes, falling down your cheeks before you could do anything about it. “Rafe…” you breathed out, you didn’t know what else to say. You weren’t even sure this wasn’t a dream.
“Maybe we could…maybe we could try again,” he said, the hope audible in his voice. “A…relationship?”
You let out a long shaky exhale. “I…” You searched your brain for the right words to say, searched your chest for how you really felt. “We…it’s never worked, Rafe, we never-“
“Do you love me?”
The question caught you completely off guard. “What?”
“Do you love me?” he repeated simply. “I told you how I felt. I need to know how you really feel.”
You swallowed. “I love you, Rafe,” you said, your voice small. “I’ve always loved you. But it’s still never worked for us.”
Rafe clasped both your smaller hands in his, being gentle with your cast. “I’m serious this time, baby. This is…things are different.” He held intense eye contact with you as he spoke, and you could see the genuine emotion swirling behind his eyes. “I’ve had a taste of what life would be like without you, and I don’t wanna go through that again.”
You had no control whatsoever as the tears started to fall down your face faster, a sob escaping from your throat. Rafe pulled you into the tightest gentle hug he could manage, his large hand combing through your smooth hair as you cried into his chest. He was a little panicked, he didn’t know if he had said something wrong to upset you. He didn’t want to make you sad anymore.
When you pulled back, Rafe wiped the tears from your face. He traced his thumb lightly over your bottom lip. His gaze flicked up to your eyes, back to your mouth, and then he was leaning in to press the softest kiss to your lips. When he broke the kiss and looked into your eyes again, he could see the mix of emotions swirling behind them. He wished he could read what you were thinking.
He grabbed your good hand with his own, intertwining your fingers. “You don’t have to decide anything now. You have plenty else to worry about. Just…think about it for me?”
You nodded, squeezing his hand in yours, which gave him some reassurance. You didn’t know what your decision would be, but you wanted to make sure you made the right one. For you, for Rafe, and for Iris.
“I love you,” you whispered to him.
His lips turned up in a smile. “I love you too.”
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iwannaleavemymind · 2 days ago
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Till his blood technique turns white!!
(Sadist choso)
CHOSO X READER (smut, minors dni you WILL be blocked❤️)
Warnings; degradation, dirty talk, going in raw (wrap it before you tap it!) dumbification, sub! Reader, rough sex, hair pulling, reader gets called yk s!ut, talking her through it, stuff like that.
(Re upload because I accidentally deleted this fic earlier😭)
You’d think choso would go easy on you? He’s so nice towards yuji and yuki-
so why’s he fucking you like he hates you?
But oh god does it feel good.
“F-fuck Cho’ I dunno if I’m-“ a harsh slap on your ass shuts you up, your face buried in the pillow, whining in protest; his cock buried deep inside your cunt, a brutal pace set, hips snapping to meet yours again and again.
“Hm? Cmon girl I know you’re not so dumb after a few strokes, right?” You can feel the shit eating smirk on his lips on the shell of your ear, fucking you deeper in response to your breathy moans, your mind a fucked out cloud of need.
His hands grip your hips so mean- watching the fat of your ass jiggle every time he hits that sweet spot inside you making whines and moans slip past you lips-
He’s so deep too- so mean and so fucking good.
“Hah- fuck oh my god ‘Cho I’m gonna cum!” You moan into the pillow, eyes rolling back in ecstasy, your back being pressed down with one of his strong hands, the other holding you just where he wants you, his leaking tip hitting your g spot every. Damn. Time.
You couldn’t last long, not when he’s fucking you like he knows your body inside out.
White slick covers his cock, lubricating his length and allowing him to fuck you faster, I mean not that you had a problem in the first place.
He was just so fucking big!!
“Dumb slut- Cummin’ that easily hm? Fuck your so wet.” Mean words flow from his lips, his hand lifting from your back to you with your clit, a meek whimper scraping your kiss bitten lips.
Hips pistoning in and out of your tight cunt makes his mind feral, you feel so fucking good and your taking him so so well, he should reward you right?
The sound of skin on skin reverberating throughout the room is the only noise filling it, although besides your fucked out hoarse voice and low grunts and moans coming from the man behind you.
“Cmon baby tell me how bad you want it, how bad you want me to fill that greedy pussy of yours hm? Fuckin- hah- takin me so well”
His cock slams into you ruthlessly over and over, your sensitive cunt twitching around him, squeezing the life out of him.
Your release trickles down your thigh, cumming around him multiple times already, face flushed and pupils blown wide.
“Choso- p-please!” You cry out, begging for another release.
“Mm, not good enough slut.”
You feel his hands tangle in your hair, pulling your head back and fucking you doggystyle, his free hand grabbing your ass meanly, slapping it over and over, his cock buried to the hilt inside you.
And oh my god. Your orgasm comes so fast and hard you didn’t even see it coming, tears stream down your cheeks from overstimulation, crying and begging for him to slow down, but do you really want him to? No.
Squirting all over his dick is enough to make him go fucking crazy for him, your his. Anybody else’s? They can get fucked.
“Mine, y’hear that? She fuckin loves me hm?”
Your syrupy sweet cunt is teetering him on the edge of being pussy drunk, but god he’s so mean about it too!
“Choso- pleasepleaseplease-!” You manage to whimper out, choking and hiccuping on your words, incoherent babbling coming from your lips.
“Oh fuuuuck baby your so fuckin’ good” he moans out, his lips forming and o shape and his eyes slamming shut as a loud moan flows from his lips, cumming so deep inside you he might get you pregnant.
It’s so messy too, your combined juices making a mess of the sheets beneath you, his cum spilling out of your abused cunt. He releases the grip on your hair, letting you body fall limply into the pillow and pulling out of you with a wet pop!
“Heh- sorry baby didn’t mean to be so mean.”
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kinardsboy · 2 days ago
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Buddie shippers have tried to coin the moral superiority and high ground with their ship and I’m sick of it
This not only comes from a place of homophobia but also heteronormativity. Buddie is inherently better because “they’re a family” ignoring the fact that Evan and Tommy could easily build their own, they are constantly pushing buddie into heteronormative roles, ESPECIALLY Buck.
They go out of their way and try so hard to prove Tommy never changed for the better, that he is still the same person he was nearly 20 years ago. That he isn’t deserving of Buck, all to prove their claim of “your ship bad and toxic therefore mine better.” Again, putting themselves on the moral high ground so their criticisms and weird hater behavior seems more justified and acceptable than when we speak out.
When that doesnt work? No problem. They just turn to straight homophobia and conservative talking points.
“Tommy wanted Eddie first but settled for Buck” sure man, I’m surprised you could take Eddies dick out of your mouth long enough to type that sentence.
“Tommy only wants sex, like most gay men do” Yes this is an actual quote from a post criticizing Tommy! Again! Homophobia! If Tommy only wanted sex theres.. grindr.. its fucking LA?? However I do find it interesting that the idea of queer men (Gay men especially) wanting sex and not feeling bad about it is something that upsets these people so much.. i wonder why the idea of gay sex makes them uncomfortable 🤔
Which brings me to their next talking point
The daddy kink scene.
I don’t even want to go into the awful violent things that were posted in response to a gay man flirting with his boyfriend, but I’m sure most of you all have seen them already so I’ll keep it vague. We all know Buck initiated that flirting scene, we all know Buck brought up daddy kink and Tommy reciprocated.
But because they can’t possibly imagine their precious little baby Buck partaking in such heinous kinks? Well then it MUST be Tommy who started it! Therefore BuckTommy is bad because Tommy is into “gross” or “immoral” kinks and makes everything about sex and so..? Yep! Buddie better ! Buddie the safe clean option!
SPEAKING of making everything about sex lets talk about the way buddie shippers tried to say “youre a vision in a cone” was about PUPPY PLAY??
Again I find it sooo interesting that these people are trying to base morals and high ground on two men possibly engaging in kink. Isnt that interesting?
The compliment was obviously not puppy play kink but even if it was who the fuck cares? They’re grown ass men? They can partake in kink???
Why are you twice now claiming that BuckTommy , and lets be honest here, mainly Tommy is a bad person and ship because of sexual attraction? Because of kinks?
Good thing their fave is a fucking catholic cause they all sure act like one
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extinctlesspains · 2 days ago
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Kwon with shy reader, but he thinks she arrogant cause she won’t even look his way?
Maybe he catches her alone and tries confronting her, but won’t get a single word out of her??
If you could, please 🙏
A/n: We love introvert and extrovert duos 😮‍💨
𝑁𝑜 𝐴𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑔𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒, 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑆ℎ𝑦𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠: 𝐾𝑤𝑜𝑛 𝐽𝑎𝑒-𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑔
𝐵𝑦 𝑒𝑥𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠
»»——⍟——««
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»»——⍟——««
𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝐾𝑤𝑜𝑛 𝐽𝑎𝑒-𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑥 𝑆ℎ𝑦! 𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒! 𝑀𝑖𝑦𝑎𝑔𝑖 𝑑𝑜!𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟
𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: 𝑓𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓
𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: 𝑀𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑡ℎ 𝑤𝑎𝑠, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑦. 𝐾𝑤𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑧𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑠ℎ𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒.
𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑡𝑏ℎ 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔.
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Kwon had been watching you for weeks. You were a student of the opposing team, Miyagi-Do, a quiet girl who seemed to glide through every kata with precision and grace. Yet, you never once acknowledged him. Not a glance, not a nod, nothing. He couldn’t help but feel slighted. Were you too proud to acknowledge a competitor from another dojo?
One evening, after training ended, he saw you lingering near the small garden behind the building. This was his chance. With purpose in his step, he approached you, heart pounding.
"Hey," Kwon called out, trying to sound casual but his tone carried an edge. "You got a problem with me or something?" His voice was steady, but his gaze narrowed, searching for any reaction.
You froze, wide-eyed. Your mouth opened slightly, but no words came out. You clutched the hem of your gi, knuckles white. You shook your head, barely.
Kwon sighed in frustration. "What, too good to talk to me? You’ve been ignoring me since you got here, unlike the others." The other group members of your team had already given Kwon a hard time, except you.
Still, silence. Your eyes flickered to the ground, then back to him, a hint of panic in them. It struck him—you weren’t arrogant. You were shy and nervous.
"Wait… you’re not… scared of me, are you?" His voice softened.
You bit your lip, eyes darting away. He felt a pang of guilt.
"Look," he continued, his tone gentler now, "I’m not your enemy. I just… wanted to know why you kept avoiding me." He scratched the back of his head, feeling a little awkward.
Finally, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "I… didn’t mean to. I just… get nervous around people."
Kwon blinked, realization dawning on him. All this time, he’d misjudged you completely. He felt a small smile tug at his lips. "Well, you don’t have to be nervous around me. I’m not as scary as I look."
A faint smile appeared on your face, and for the first time, you met his eyes.
"See? That wasn’t so hard," he teased lightly. "Maybe we could start over?"
You nodded, and he extended his hand. "I’m Kwon. And I promise, I don’t bite."
Your soft laugh made him grin. Maybe this rivalry wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
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miaoua3 · 21 hours ago
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(pairing: dino x f!reader)
based on that one video of vernon trying the food that dino made and immediately thinking it’s bad when vernon said that it’s chewy oh my baby how i love you
“babe? could you come here for a second?”, chan lets out from the kitchen, his voice sounding unsure and hesitant.
sensing that this is more than just a favour you could do for him, you get up and walk to where he’s standing in front of a stove.
looking at him expectedly, you smile “yes? what is it, love?”.
fidgeting with the spoon for a moment, he then takes a bit of a food from the pot, before he blows on it to cool it down. slowly bringing it to your mouth, he questions “could you try this and tell me how it tastes? i’m not sure if it’s all that up to your tastes.”
you just take ahold of his wrist before bringing the spoon in your mouth, choosing not to respond to his question and instead just do it.
you chew on it for a few seconds, eyebrows furrowing in concentration, trying to identify everything that he put in it.
hm, maybe a bit more salt would be good you think to yourself.
before you even have the time to open your mouth to sound your thoughts out loud, he interrupts you.
“i knew it, it tastes bad right? i’ll just throw it out a-and we can just order something-“.
sensing that he’s spiralling quickly, you immediately bring your hands to his cheeks and turn his head to yourself.
“hey, hey, hey, baby no, that’s not what i was going to say. i just thought that it could use a bit more salt but otherwise everything is fine, it tastes super yummy.”
chan just looks down to his feet that are fidgeting lightly. you look him with eyes full of pain before you move closer, leaning your forehead against his own so his eyes are forced to look at your own again.
“channie, my love, what is this about really? you know you don’t need to stress this much over some food. plus, you know that i would eat anything you’d make for me, because everything you make tastes divine.”
chan’s hands come to fiddle with the hem of your shirt, insecurity very visible on his face. you rub your thumbs against his soft cheeks as you wait for him to answer you.
after a minute, he finally quietly says “i know i’m not the best cook, so i just wanted to make you something as a way to improve my cooking skills, so you wouldn’t have to do it all the time, like you are doing at the moment…and what kind of boyfriend am i when i can’t even make anything that you like?…”.
your eyebrows furrow on their own as he continues to speak, heart breaking at how broken and sad his voice sounds.
deciding that you have heard enough, you bring his big and buff body down to your height, hugging him tightly as a way to reassure him.
you sigh before you start speaking against his ear “oh my love, you have to stop being so hard on yourself, baby. you know you are the best boyfriend there is, especially for me. you do so much for me, that i actually feel like i’m not doing enough for you. you are always there for me, you take care of me both emotionally and physically. i haven’t paid for anything ever since our third date, and you know how that makes me feel. the cooking…it’s the only thing i know i can do to repay you for being my perfect other half and for everything that you do. so it’s really not a problem for me.”, you pause so you can being his face in front of your own again. “you need to start believing me when i say that nobody could take care of me the way that you do, nor that i want them to…you are my soulmate, sweetheart, okay?”, you finish.
chan has to blink his tears away as he nods his head quickly before he hugs you tightly, hiding his face in your hair.
rubbing his back in comfort, you add “plus you shouldn’t be cooking according to my tastes, you know i like my food so salty, it gives me kidney stones.”, as a way to lighten up the mood.
and as he chuckles, you know that you’ve succeeded in doing it.
then again, if that hadn’t work, you would’ve tried another 200 different jokes, just to make him smile again.
because channie should only be smiling and be happy. because it’s what he deserves.
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hollyhomburg · 3 days ago
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@mocha000 Ahhh I’m glad that you liked the first intro part with the pretty lines- they where so so so pretty- I had a hard time editing them out and I decided not too- even if the intro is a bit long and a bit overly esoteric <3 at least you liked it <3
Tbh, I just picture jin with the cutest pout on his face, hand wrapped around namjoon’s knot, the pack alpha suffering through it but also wanting to indulge his jinnie’s over protective instincts.
Too much of this chapter was just me being like “wow Tae is too hot” like every time I wrote a line for her. Tbh, her undressing yoongi for the m/c…so hot, just lowkey imagining her putting Hobi and the m/c in a pretty little get up only to make them take it all of infront of her so she can watch 😵‍💫 like every time the m/c puts her face under her skirt to hide from how overwhelmed she is and how much she’s enjoying everything was self indulgent.
I wish I could make you guys feel the weight of namjoon’s ‘whatever you want’ because he 100% means it, like Namjoon is feeling all the instincts right now, for all of them not just his omega’s. he’s such a devoted pack alpha.
OKAY BUT- when jk is glaring at the m/c you know how it’s an inside joke that he looks angry whenever he’s enjoying the food? He’s just nibbled at the mc and alskjdlfjalskdjflajsldkjf that’s what I was going for!!!! He’s glaring at her because he got a good nibble in and she tastes good!
Wow re-reading all the things you deemed hot, I know I have a messiness kink BUT THAT’S A BIT EXCESSIVE. AND YOONGI CALLING THE M/C CUTE! I SWEAR- with Tae and yoongi they just- they look at the m/c and think ‘how can I turn your cuteness into the lewdest thing possible like- ugghhhhhhhhh I wanna write such filthy things with the three of them, both of them fucking her in a v cute short dress, making her pose with a face full of cum and sending the picture to the pack groupchat- all the cutest bunny and kitty ears ugh <3 they get into It I just know they do.
Okay but but but- yoongi calling Tae mommy??? I’m so ridiculously into it like- I just know she loves it when he calls her the m/c’s mommy like ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh I will shut up about it because if I get going on it I’m not going to stop.
I hope people enjoyed the sections of yoongi talking the m/c through it <3 it was a little bit more challenging than usual to come up with because there where so many sections that needed dialogue and I wanted each of them to be unique and admittedly- I have never been talked through it so I have no experience with it personally (unlike the majority of the sex scenes I write)
I love the different styles of all of them fucking like- jk is getting the dicking down of a lifetime, jinnie is being a little dom with Namjoon, and then the m/c is just a little puddle on the floor and that’s so pack of them <3
I always struggle not to call the m/c too tiny to handle it but tbh….i love the whole ‘we’ll make it fit’ dynamic, size kink is so high up there on my list that it’s hard for me to not put it in.
Ahhhh the lines about her not going into heat without their love- that was another addition I made when I was having problems with the chapter and reconciling the very big historical events. I hope it felt like there was love there in every line- in the smut. I didn’t want it to be pure filth- I wanted it to feel very loving too and I hope I did that.
Ooooh yes yoongi 1000% tickles her into submission, it works for them, it’s a lot more gentle and goofy that way like- of course the moment where she runs feels tense but- once they’ve got her they’re soft with her.
I’m glad you like the description of her, like obviously there are only so many things that the m/c is aware of during heat- but I wanted to show her however briefly- what she looked like from yoongi’s pov
Ooooh the image of him taking off her socks was a last minute addition. Mostly because I was wearing thigh-highs yesterday and needed a bit of self-indulgence. But I truly believe that yoongi thinks all of the m/c is cute and sexy and that also extends to her feet.
One of these days, I need to get all of the bily poems and put them all in one place. Maybe in a little tiny zine or something <3 just for fun.
Yoongi has this dynamic of being effortlessly dom but also a little insecure and I think all of them are like- where as jin, namjoon, jimin, and jungkook are all fairly confident- the m/c’s little bundle is certainly not confident with themselves all the time so it made sense to me that they’d all have a moment of insecurity.
Okay but the line “no one here that wouldn’t love all of you” is one I’m actually unreasonably attached to- because each of them know a different side of the m/c and love her anyway.
Ooooh yes I totally think there are scent glands in the m/c’s pussy, like I think for most omega’s they have a slick producing gland (overlapping the gspot in female omega’s- which is why a lot of them squirt when they cum) that also makes their slick smell and taste like their scent- ones on their wrists, between their thighs on the exterior, on their necks and behind their knees.
Oh the m/c smelling calm is like! Yoongi is so happy and so relieved that he’s crying like- I think even at the beginning of their relationship immediately after- she’d deal with a bit of anxiety/self-hatred, when having sex with yoongi and the others, a bit of insecurity about her performance. Vs her heat now where she cums and promptly goes to sleep, it’s such a change that yoongi is like- very very happy and overwhelmed by it. The line ‘sadness has it’s way of sticking around’ is not a hidden meaning, its just a reference to the fact that yes things are good but they still have the chance to get better. Remember no one is sure how her heat is going to go. Yoongi is just very very worried.
And if I say that youre not ready for the continuation of yoongi as an alpha then what? Are you ready???? I’m not ready~
Thank you for your comment <3 this one was great in the breakdown of what you liked in all the categories from soft to horny <3 I always look forward to seeing you pop up in my activity!
Before I Leave You (Pt.77)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: Tae and Hobi help Yoongi during your first wave of heat.
Tags: Yoongi x Tae x Hobi x m/c, Dom! Yoongi, dom! tae, switch! hobi, Sub! m/c, Foursome, heat sex, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, fertility kink, control kink, mommy kink, talking her through it, dirty talk, exhibitionism and Voyeurism, teasing, flirting, biting, a tiny hint of mind break, a bit of pillow riding, dumbification kink, size kink, dirty talk, hole check, inspection kink, fluffy smut, no hurt just comfort, okay slight hurt because Hobi has anxiety, coming prematurely, cum play, sleepy sex, brief referenced Somnophilia,
W/c: 14.4k
A/n: thank you guys for being so tolerant of my brief absense, i didn't intend to take so long to update this but unfortunately sometimes living through historical events can be really tough to get through. i can't belive we made it to the 77th chapter! i always thought it would be nice to get to this point because you know- seven is bts's number <3 bily is way too long lol
Previous part- Masterlist - First part
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The hunger of the heat finds no respite and no quiet, not even under darkness where lovers touch finds seemly eyes blind. Your descent into fever is fairly controlled given how long it's been since you've gone into heat. It's gentle even as your body surrenders itself completely to your instincts.
But there is nothing dirty to it. Nothing that leaves you feeling filthy and used. Going into heat with the pack leaves you feeling clean of your insecurities and anxiety. The last little bit that clings to you burned out by the heat like Bitter weeds burned out so that sweet tall growing love can take the place of the barren fields.
It’s easy to burn. Lights just like that.
The next three and a half days progress in a haze of lust and love and comfort. If asked, you’re not sure that you could articulate just what it’s like- the thrall of heat. The fever that burns through you, simmers your bones to dry kindling and hungry wind. The fire that craves not for food or water or air, just their touch. Just them.
I would love to say that your, Jungkook and Jin’s heat goes well- but in all reality it doesn’t. In reality- it’s a bit of a shit show.
One omega in heat is generally chaotic, but 3 is a horny hurricane of slick, cum, and tears. Your packmates are bound to get exhausted at one point and fail to fulfill your needs through the own simple fragility of their bodies. Your alphas aren’t indestructible or immune from exhaustion, as much they like to pretend otherwise.
Normally Jin and Jungkook are a bit of a handful. On account of being a little older, Jin is sweet but a little demanding.
Willing to scruff the alphas just to sit on their knots and all but bully Namjoon into letting him hog his (Something that Namjoon only sometimes allows.) Possessive and protective of them. Often sleeping with one hand pressed to Namjoon’s stomach, his throat, or when the heat fever spikes particularly high- wrapped around his knot. Protecting it, keeping it safe. To make sure no one steals it.
Jin gets incurably sleepy during his heats, Awake one moment and fast asleep the next. Easily worn out. Jin’s pout is never far from his plush lips, eyes always about to narrow when someone denies him his requests (usually for his own good).
Jin has asked for…strange things in heat before. For the alpha’s to breed each other, knock each other up. For them to knot his jaw if they won't knot his hole (often already occupied). Stuff like that.  
But he’s softer sometimes. More maternal. Checking their bodies obsessively for wounds, keeping them in the nest no matter if they need to eat or pee or go let Noodle out the back. Licking their scent glands raw to soothe until the heat fever burns so bright that he can’t resist any longer.  
By comparison, Jungkook is a big bunny rabbit.
Insatiable and energized with every wave of heat, Jungkook turns twitchy and needy in the heat fever. Just as happy to bounce on a knot as he is to take a pounding. Jungkook requires stamina, Jungkook requires energy. Often laconic or non-verbal. Jungkook does not like it soft, likes hair pulling and biting and his knees scraping against the nest. Pulled from one knot to the next.
The pack is no stranger to waking up to Jungkook astride them, powerful thighs straining to lift himself up and down in the omega’s half-asleep state, sleep fucking his way to an orgasm. Their pj's pulled low or ripped if he's eager enough. Cute little gasps echo off the tall ceilings as he takes his pleasure at a dreamy pace. One of the alpha’s staring up at him sleepy, stretched out, happy to have a bit of a break from moving.
Jin honestly doesn’t know where all the energy comes from.
Sometimes the pack tie him up and fill his holes with some silicone just to get a break. With barely 10 minutes between his heat spikes at his worst. He’s willing to take anything- a spank to his cock, a knot meanly fucked in and out of his hole all loose when he’s too far gone. Anything and everything until the spikes get less searing and the fire ebbs from flames to embers.
Edging and overstimulation are the pack’s best friends when it comes to Jungkook’s heats. That’s what Jungkook needs; to whine and whimper and flinch at every touch until it’s worn out of him. Until pleasure becomes pain and then goes back again. Flip-flopping until Jungkook can’t tell if it hurts too much to keep going or if it feels too good to stop.
It’s a good thing he’s equally soothed with a plastic knot as a real one, that he’s happy so long as he’s filled and plugged up so that no cum escapes. Precious and warm and his alpha’s gift. Evidence of their claim and devotion.
Evidence too of what bonds the omega’s together.
Nestmates do this, they take their breeding together in their nest during a heat. That’s what’s good and right. What Jungkook’s instincts crave. There is safety in numbers. The more pups the better.
(never mind the fact that out of heat, jungkook plans to be pupfree forever thank you very much).
But everyone knows not to take the things said during a heat seriously. that all that talk of breeding and pups is just that- talk. what matters is the devotion and the sentiment. Yes I am planning on keeping you forever. No you don't have to worry if I'll love you forever, let me claim you, let me show you in a way that matters.
It’s cute even if it is a little gross, how possessive omegas can get of alpha cum during heats. Their bellies going swollen and messy with it. A little plug does wonders to soothe any of Jungkook’s discomfort. A spank to his hole before one is shoved in even more so. The cherry on top.
The pack has learned how to meet his needs well, even at the expense of their own. That’s one thing that separates your alpha’s from the others, they don’t think about their own pleasure at all, they don’t think about their own needs- only yours.
I want to share my side of the nest with you, I want to talk you through it- the pain and the pleasure. I want you to feel love in every kiss, every bite.
The pack has wondered many times over the last year where you fit on the spectrum from bratty to obedient, from lethargic to energized.
Would you pout and whine like Jk? Bouncing on their knots for a bit of reprieve? Or would you be like Jin- bratty and needy in all the best ways? A princess and the pee, the omega and the knot. It’s all very fairytale.
But compared to Jin and Jungkook, you’re a bit of an angel.
They thought after so long your heat would hit hard, that your body would make up for time lost and leave it long and drawn out and brutal. That your lack of heat for so many years would reward you with spikes that never end and pleasure that went too far. That it would be rough.
Yoongi would never want to abandon the others, but even he has to admit that you need to be his priority sometimes. You’re more delicate than the others. That is a fact that he's never been able to ignore.
But he need not worry. If anything, your heat just makes you more gentle, soft, and round at the edges where your anxiety and fear can sometimes turn you a bit prickly.
Something about the heat just wears all of your energy out of you, makes you sleepy and soft, hurtling down through Omegaspace so far that you can’t really feel anything if it’s not good, brain a mess of good pup, good alphas breed good puppies, knot good puppies too, pup pup pups.
You are completely pliant and suggestible. Tears forever hovering on the edge of your waterline summoned by the slightest edge of disapproval. Good, you just want to be good. To part your legs and let them have the sweetness between them. You don’t need to be needy; you hardly even need to ask before someone is there. Someone is always always there.
The need builds to a fever's pitch, a fire burning through you. You’ve never felt so touch-starved before. Your skin dimpling with gooseflesh the second you feel even the slightest warmth, the slighted brush of possible body heat. There is something frantic in you, the hot flush crawling under your skin that stills only when they touch you.
Is this what overstimulation feels like to Jimin? Is this what he feels like when he holds Tae? does he feel the same sense of lingering relief? You watch the ceiling spin as Yoongi heaves you up. Everything is in slow motion. Putting it together second by second. Everything slow and drippy like syrup.  
The thing about omega's in heat is that they're a little bit dumb.
Like, there's no way that you could have ever conceivably run away from Yoongi and Tae and Hobi, no way that you could have escaped given your small size and their height. your run is doomed from the start.
The heat hormones are a little intense, a little hard to thing through.
You can't get over how good the pack’s hands feel, how calloused and intentional, bird bones and painted nails. Slightly rough and always firm. Calloused between the thumb and forefinger from pencils or firearms.
They’re always so gentle. So gentle that you feel every touch as not hunger but love instead. Maybe that’s what heats are? The need for love and pack sated by your bodies, that would find no satisfaction in it otherwise. There is no lust without love for any of you. You wouldn’t have gone into heat without them and their tender love and care. The love has always been there and this is no different.
You don’t have to question if they need you and want you the same way that you do. The scent of arousal is heady on the air, not just from the omega’s- but from them too. You can scent it; how they’re feeling. Their hunger.
It’s as if they've just come from in from out of the cold. It conjures up images of warm fires inside honeyed houses, of someone washing your face and you trust them not to get soap in your eyes, of waking up in the nest with your eyes still closed, the warmth all around you. Someone buttoning up your coat. Something warm and sweet to eat in your hands, sugar on the edge of your tongue, crystals of sweetness glittering and dusting deserts like starlight.
Only you are that sweet thing, you are that warmth. Your alpha's are the ones that have come in from the cold. 
There’s this mischievous victorious edge to Jimin’s scent, the vanilla sweeter and smokier than usual. The concerned edge to Hobi's- the caramel all warm and melty but with a sharp hint- like his anxiety has turned syrupy by proximity to the omega’s in heat. The calm edge to Tae's; roses in the morning, cinnamon sugar sweetness for breakfast even if it will spoil you for later.
But Namjoon- you hiccup when you breathe it in too deep. A shudder runs down your spine.
Namjoon smells so much richer than usual. Mouthwatering and potent. Dangerous and musky. Namjoon smells like a threat and a promise. Like a storm coming that you cannot evade. Namjoon smells like an ache. Your lungs flutter around it, your breath going heavy, and your eyes roll back briefly.
You feel drunk on it, almost tipsy from it. So good that just catching it in the air makes you slick up, and it turns the tops of your thighs all glossy underneath the big shirt you wear, the big shirt that gets pulled this way and that when Yoongi and Hobi and Tae pick you up and drag you from the hallway into the nest room.
You squirm, trying to get to him at the end of the hall as they move you. Their single-minded focus is getting you somewhere safe and comfortable even as the fever climbs and climbs. Your skin turning hot beneath their touch so quickly that they share nervous glances.
One moment your skin is sweet warm to the touch, the next your pulse is racing and you’re burning up. Cheeks pink, temples damp. Your pupils are so dilated it turns your eyes dark and glassy, so little of their usual color visible.
You’d be worried and teary at Hobi's scent but it’s just so fun.
You’re having a hard time holding onto your worry. Being restrained by them feels like playing this way. His hands go hard around your wrists as you push and giggle. His thin bones pressed to your fragile ones. Grinning up at them a little feral, a little heat addled.
You try to push and roll away futilely, unable to put any real force behind it as Tae grabs your ankles and Yoongi takes you around your middle. You catch sight of his grin as you squirm. And his hands go harder around your waist. Pausing to tickle at your ribs before they toss you- a little unceremoniously- into the center of the nest.
Your body is bare from their touch for about two seconds but you still don't like it. No sooner has a whine started to build in your throat. Nuckles brushing the nest, belly up, staring up at them dazed. Then your alphas and mate descend on you. Depressing the nest with their knees and feet, rushing and hurrying to cover you.
The whole house is full of the sound of snarls, wet slaps, and the burning haze of arousal. The hormones drip to a slow build. Setting everyone on edge. Even Yoongi breathes through his teeth. You try to kick at Tae's thigh just for fun but pull back once Yoongi’s fingers scrape your ankle in warning.
Tae doesn’t seem to like your squirming, taking your wrists in both of her hands and pressing them into the nest until you feel it in the bones of your wrists. With firmness comes clarity.
Holy fuck. Tae's so hot.
Her hair spills over her face and her eyes are dark.  The hem of her dress pulls low, and you try to lean up to nuzzle into it, lips curled into a snarl, a laugh. You could bite her. You want to bite her. You try too- but it’s hard to bite her when all you want to do is laugh.
Yoongi's fingers continue to tickle against your ribs, laughing and giggling through your very first spike of heat, ticklish. Squirming, held down until your breath goes ragged and you sag back against the nest, your surrender is just as sweet as the rest of you. You're so dizzy you're unable to fight against them. The heat zoomies worn out of you.
You laugh until you hiss. Curling to the side just a little as you double over in pain. A wave racks through you. Burning and stinging from your stomach outwards.
Yoongi stills, one hand on your knee, eyes wide. Tae lets your wrists go so you can clutch at your stomach. Holding your face through it. Hobi's hand is hard on your shoulder, knuckles white, expression stricken but unsure.
"Oh my little honey, don't worry, we'll make it better, shh just-" She's a little more panicky than the rest of them are. Her hand goes to Yoongi’s hip, his waistline, all but tugging at his shorts as if to say ‘do something.'
Yoongi holds your stomach too. Alarmed by your trembling. "Are you- do you need-“a knot, hovers on the edge of his tongue.
But you just blink. “Yoongi- it's too much- it burns- Sore- so sore here.” You touch your stomach gently, but it's so sensitive it still makes you hiss, eyes watering. Yoongi's hands slowly press to yours, flat, long fingers covering yours.
It's gone as quick as it comes, the wave ebbing after a stiff peak. And after a moment with more of Tae's shushing. You relax, stretching back out in the nest. Breathing heavily until you aren't. Until the cramping and the aching need want need to be filled in your head quiets.
Yoongi's fingers swirl on your stomach, gently. It's sensitive, but it actually does make you feel better. “You ran, do you want us to wait for Namjoon or-" You’re already shaking your head no when Yoongi cuts off. Letting your legs flop open so that he can shuffle forward closer. Nudging at the back of his hips with your heels.
You don't wonder why Yoongi mentions Namjoon. He's the pack alpha, and the right to breed you first in heat is his as dictated by old laws and rules. It’s stupid, but it’s instinctual. If you weren't mated, Yoongi might be tempted to ask Namjoon for permission.
Yoongi huffs at the mere idea of it.
But Namjoon isn't like that. He cares about your wants first. His own ego is very far down on his list of priorities and probably ranks just after Noodle's well-being in terms of Namjoon's pack alpha running task list.
Dominance is its own kind of submission.
And, judging by Jin's snarling from the other room- he'll be preoccupied for at least the next hour. You don't know if you can wait that long. A whine drips out of you, a sound small and weak. The fire starts to tickle in your tummy, insistent.
Hobi shuffles closer to you. Bare-chested, his red shorts looking tight. Looking unsure. "You did run, do you not want-" us, does not come out.
You shift, futile in your efforts to try and get comfortable, it's impossible with the weight of your instincts pinning you down, the pervasive ache that's sort of everywhere.
“Nah, just ran cuz it’s fun. Not cuz I didn’t want you to fuck me.”
Yoongi huffs and Hobi's grin cracks. His anxiety dissipates, fond with it. Yoongi's fingers itch up your thighs, parting them just a little so that he can shuffle forward closer to you. Until you can feel the heat from his tummy against yours.
You can feel so much. Your whole body one big nerve ending. You can feel the slight fluff and softness of the peach fuzz on his tummy dragging against yours as he gets closer. The feel of his slender but strong fingers circling your ankles. All of it.
You like this, you always like it when Yoongi's close.
“Glad we cleared that up, it’s not like I can’t literally see you slicking up but-“ you laugh and try and swat at him. He drops one of your ankles to catch your hand and tangles it with his for good measure.
A small smile hovers on the edge of his lips. He searches your face, smiling at what he sees your dopey smile and endeared indignation. The heat might be new, but this is so familiar his heart aches with it.
“If you’re gonna tease me while I’m in heat can you at least make it good?” Your breath goes heavy. Warm and sweet, fluffing over him. Everything; the sweetness to your scent, the ruddiness of your knees, the messy fluff of your hair over the pastel pillow, and the relaxed sprawl of your body is a siren song for Yoongi.
Above you Tae and Hobi stay quiet. Just watching. Tae drags a lock of your hair away from your face. Patient while you and Yoongi flirt.
“I thought you liked my teasing.”
Your tone sounds petulant even to you, “I do just not-”
Yoongi presses your knees apart, up towards your chest abruptly cutting off your words as you let out a broken moan. He puts a bit more force behind it than usual, putting you on display, spread. The hem of your shirt hides nothing as you feel yourself clench and his gaze flickers down.
“There you are, now I can see that you like it.” Your entrance looks swollen and pink but inviting. Winking at him. Tae perks up, looking not at you but down.  
“Fuck don’t-“ you strain. Palming at his hands, inarticulate.  
“What? Don’t you want them to see how messy you are? How messy you get for us. You make it so cute when you slick up without meaning to, so flustered.” The dirty talk makes your bones crack like kindling, makes you gush fresh.
The smile on his face widens just a bit, and you hiccup through the shudder that rocks through you. Your body burns, your stomach churns, and your skin simmers where he touches. Stoking your craving for more more more.
A breeding press. That's what Yoongi's just put you into. Knees to your chest, your sensitive heat slit ripe and wet between your thighs, ready for the taking. A breeding press in front of two alphas, in front of Tae and Hobi, watching with wide dark eyes. Your mate presents you for breeding. An invitation.
“Hold her.” Yoongi’s command is not snapped or growled out but Hobi and Tae follow suit regardless. Hobi fumbles, grabbing one wrist and Tae grabs the other.
Ready. Settled. It’s a bit of a strange show of dominance. But inside, Yoongi isn’t surprised that you needed a firm hand. To be held down and puppeted and propped. To know that they’re in control before you let your alpha's breed you.
He says your alphas- but he's the only one you're looking at. The only one you're whining for.
It’s hard to articulate your hands or your mind, tongue wrapped around a sound that can only be an endless whimper. Tae leans low when you try to squirm again. Her teeth nip at your ear, a shock to your system that makes you leak a fresh gush of slick half onto Yoongi's lap.
You have to be spilling and dripping by now. You try and press your legs back together and hide but Yoongi keeps you spread. His thumb skims the apex of your hips, the dewy fold between your thigh and pussy. Teasing.
“No pup, settle.”
You obey, unable not to. Sprawled there with them looming over you. Tae's fingers hover around your throat, manicured fingers rubbing soft against your scent gland, sensitive and tender. Achy. So achy you tilt your neck and show her your throat. Dizzy. The only thing solid is Yoongi’s hands and your instincts that tell you to try and get them closer.
Your instincts know what you need.
All of you sort of hurts. A bone-deep ache that has pinned you here as well as their touch. The ache that turns you free for them to poke and prod and love at. Each moment of their absence a physical wound, each kiss and brush of skin- a band-aid.
Belly down, you need to get belly down and show them. Need to show your alpha’s and your mate that you can be good- that you’re worth breeding. That you can take all of the love that they have to give and more.
You just can’t move your body; can’t make it cooperate- you feel so heavy and tired all of a sudden. Falling slack. All the fight going out of you.
“There you go, that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Yoongi’s voice is a deep purr.  
You are missing things, the seconds slipping away as you start to sweat and whimper. You don’t see Hobi's stricken expression as tears start to gather at your waterline or Tae's eyes, dark but sympathetic. You don’t see or feel the way that Hobi trembles as he holds your wrists perfunctory now that you've gone limp.
But still, he holds you. the touch goes tender where moment's ago it had been firm. Hobi doesn't notice, Hobi doesn't see.
But Yoongi does. Yoongi sees all of it, holding your knees still, fingers rounding out over the bone, rubbing up and down your thighs, an inch higher with every pass, until the cool pads of his fingers are brushing your shirt. Shushing your whines as he shuffles between your legs and the meat of his thighs meets your ass. Shirt fluffing up to your belly button from this position.
If the other alphas smell good, then Yoongi is the heat in the back of your throat and the compass by which you fly home. Your scent spikes watching him settle on his knees between your legs, your toes pressed to his stomach still in your socks. White, to the upper ankle.
Yoongi takes them off, slow, fingers sliding over your calf. squeezing firmly, releasing the tension. Setting them to the side the way he'd fold laundry, casual, like he's not making you hiccup.
You can feel yourself clench when you register that there is hardness at the front of his shorts. Yoongi smells good, drippy, and chocolatey. You want him all over you. The fabric at the front of his boxers brushes your heat slit, rougher than the pads of his fingers, and you feel like you might just pass out.
Sensitive- your body is oversensitive. You can feel everything, the tickle of Hobi's breath as it hitches when he sees the mess between your legs. Sweet nectar to the hummingbird thunder of his heart in his fingers. Tae's soft growl rippling from her chest. Small chest vibrating with it.
Yoongi lets your hips relax and slides his hands up your hips to your waist instead. Bypassing where you’re sore for him entirely to go under your shirt, the rough pads of his fingers skimming up your midline as he says, “let’s get rid of this sweet honey.”
There are pet names everywhere. Pup, honey, little treat, sweetheart. On the edge of every line as he coaxes you to sit up. Sweetening every sentence. They’re unable not to add them, each nickname more loving than your own name.
How could you deny them the pleasure of it on their tongue. You like the way they say it, pup. Like you’re small and sweet and worth caring for. Worth claiming in a way that’s permanent like this. You trust them enough to see you like this, at your most vulnerable.
A shout comes from the hall. A loud repetitive smacking sound the backtrack to Yoongi’s deep satisfied hum. You toss your head to the side, looking towards the door with a loud whine. Hopeful to summon the other omegas here. Here where nothing is scary, and everything drips as slow as syrup on a cold day.
But you hear only hisses and snarls in response. A dark sound that becomes Jungkook’s giggle and something hitting the wall with a loud thud. A knee- or maybe someone’s hand.
The other omegas are not as easy to catch and soothe as you are. It will take one knotting each before the alpha’s manage to settle them and cajole them back into the nest. You go right away, no need to be disobedient.
Jin hisses loudly and goosebumps erupt on your arms. It has nothing to do with feeling cold on the contrary; the heat fever tears through you. You didn’t realize you were overheating until Yoongi disrobed you. Your mate is so good. So good at anticipating your needs. Guiding your shirt off of you with a gentle hum until Hobi can grab it and get it over your shoulders. All of this is so gentle.  
Yoongi’s hands stay on your back, making you lie back down slowly, supporting you so that your abdominal muscles need not strain. Hobi tosses the shirt into some forgotten corner where it’s doomed to be used as a cum rag in the foreseeable future. You blink up at them, two of your alphas and your mate.
Why won’t they- why can’t you-
Yoongi’s hand presses flat against your stomach, quieting your sweet whines. You are entirely unselfconscious of your body like this, unaware of the marks or rolls on your body or the soft plush to your stomach. There is only Yoongi’s eyes on you, maintaining contact as he sets you back where he wants you. One hand on your shoulder, the other on your waistline.
Fuck, he looks down at you, eyes darting from place to place, feeling his hardness grow. You look so flushed and healthy, your body glowing from within from the fever. You look- you look-.
Yoongi cringes internally but you do look ready. Fertile and sweet and glowing from fever. Ready for pups, ready to be knocked up, ready for breeding. If Yoongi was an alpha, god help them all. He can’t imagine what it feels like to the others. To have you flushed and cute and willing like this.
What wouldn't he do? What wouldn't he give for your happiness?
What would Tae write about this moment? Yoongi imagines himself as a fly on the wall, a poem inside her head.
I think of you in all the softest colors, collect moments for you in the palm of my hand, give you love until its nicknacks and keepsakes, slip through my fingers, too many to count, your pocket and bowl overflowing. You are that, my overflow and my undertow, I dreamed of you, I dreamed for you, and yet, you are still here. My bedtime story, my good night kiss. the moon to my firefly, the sugar on cream.
For a second, he imagines it. You pregnant. You bred.
Your stomach round and taught. He imagines watching you get bigger and bigger until you're waddling around. Your chest sweetening with milk, already supple now nipples pebbling in the cold. To imagine them bigger is honestly- Yoongi cannot think about it without throbbing and twitching. The hardness a heavenly jut against your cunt. Just as weepy and needy as the rest of you.
You look so healthy too. A lump comes to Yoongi’s throat at the realization. You’d have it so easy carrying the pack’s pup like this. But even then- Yoongi wouldn’t let up, on the contrary. He'd probably rival Jin and namjoon in their protective instincts and their doting. He’d cave to all your cravings and leave in snow or rain and sleet to get you whatever your pregnancy cravings might ask.
He never thought he had a thing for it; pregnancy and breeding is more an alpha's wheelhouse but you…All round and full of them. It wouldn't even matter who got to you first, whose seed would take all of that is your choice.
But Yoongi imagines your scent going milky, imagines how sleepy and brody you'd get. He wonders if you'd take to carting one of your stuffed animals around. Would your instincts prepare you to cling to everything small and cute and soft?
He already treats you like fine china- but pupped? Your mate wouldn't let you lift a fucking finger. He decides right then, he won’t let you do a lick of the work in this heat. All of your pleasure should be by their hands shouldn’t it? That’s just an extension of love, right? Dictating what pleasure you get and if it’s enough- should be up to them- you clearly aren’t thinking straight enough to decide if you need a cock in your cunt. That should be left up to him.
(Clearly, the heat is getting to Yoongi)
Contraceptive, you took the contraceptive, didn't you? Yoongi should remember that. He shouldn't be so giddy for something that is impossible now and for all real likelihood may never happen or is years and years away. This is only your first heat. His instincts should honestly chill, he shouldn't be reacting the way the alpha's do.
Even if there is truly no harm in pretending.
Why does his chest feel so tight? Why do his muscles feel poised to fight? His pulse beats a little quicker, a little harder, as if in response to you.
Yoongi's breath goes deep and ragged. “My little honey.” He says, voice husky, and you squirm. A little happy. A little overwhelmed by all the attention.
He picks you by your hips, turning you over, guiding you to present the way that all good little omega’s do. Tummy down and ass up. You blink dazed as they move you, losing yourself a little more with each moment.  Tae puts a pillow under your tummy and the crinkle of the waterproof pillowcase distantly assures you that whatever mess you make will not ruin the fun.
The room spins with the smell of them, the pet of Tae's fingers down your back as Yoongi spreads your knees so he can kneel between them. Stroking gently over your spine, pressing it to curve and arch for them.
“So good for us, so good presenting yourself, so so cute.” Her voice is quiet and honey-sweet. And you don’t know why but you suddenly feel like crying.
You want to cry in relief, you might actually cry over the praise. You are pinned there- beneath Yoongi’s touch and by his eyes as he looks down at you. He pauses to turn your cheek to the side so that he can better watch your face. Tae shuffles forward, picking your chest up and lying your half in her lap, your cheek resting just below the hem of her dress against her plush thighs. A predicament you've found yourself in many times.
You peer up at her, teary-eyed. Fists tangling with her dress, clinging to it, to her. You need something to steady you. Something to hold onto when your brain feels like a feather fluttering in the wind. Dazed and fuzzy. Omegaspace has never felt so intense before.
your lower lip juts out, glossy and pink. “Mommy it hurts.”
She bends low, pressing a kiss to your brow. The brush of her skin against yours makes you dizzy. It feels so good to be touched and loved like this. To feel someone touching your body so gently like it’s precious.
Who knows, maybe to them, you really are.
She nuzzles forward, her forehead finding yours. Her nose going that way then the other. Pecking your lips once, twice, and then again.
“I know pup, we’ll make it better.”
You whimper, and Tae sets your cheek against her thigh so that you can rest there through whatever happens next, one hand wraps around her ankle, and your other reaches back blindly to tangle with Hobi's.
Neither of them stops Yoongi. Neither of them tries to get in the way- it’s Yoongi’s right- as your mate- to do with you what he wishes during your heat. To fuck you this way and that. To take precedent and priority.
If only yoongi understood that.
Yoongi leans over you, letting his lap make contact with your ass, grinding forward almost immediately as you jerk back. You’ve never heard Yoongi sound so dark, his voice so rough.
“It’s so tough, isn’t it? Feeling so many instincts all at once huh? Being so small and scared right? You just wanted us to chase you, make sure we could catch you- make sure we’re worthy.”
He digs his fingers into your hip bones pressing you down into your knees. Your cheek turned to the side, nuzzling into the fabric of Tae's dress. You blink up at Tae dazed, eyes feasting on the way that her dress- flimsy and partially see-through- slips down her shoulders- pulled askew in your chasing.
From the hall- you hear the sound of groans and moans. You don’t know why your other nestmates don’t just come willingly. It feels so good, so soft and safe underneath you.
You didn’t think you could feel so safe.  
Gone is the instinct to run, gone is the instinct to hide and cower- now all you can do is whine and part your legs, the ache there so deep there you feel it in your teeth. But Yoongi grinds his half-hidden hardness where you’re needy and sensitive. The fabric of his boxers quickly darken with slick. He doesn’t go quick, he savors it.
The fact that Yoongi doesn’t have a knot doesn’t cross your mind. Not even once. He’s still the first one you want.
…not the only one you want of course, but him first.
Yoongi cannot actually read your thoughts, so he leans low, pressing kiss after kiss into your spine, dragging his lips down to the dimples of your hips before he rises back on his knees. A look so soft in his eyes- Hobi and Tae feel a bit like they’re intruding on something.
“Whose knot should you take first honey, Taetae’s, or Hobi's? Or do you want me to decide for you? Tell me who you want, honey- anything.” He promises, voice husky. And Tae can tell he means it. Anything that you’d want right now, he’d give.
You whimper, shaking your head against Tae’s hand, her touch, a finger-popping into your mouth to sate your need to suck. You can’t speak- couldn’t even if you wanted to. But that’s alright, you’ve got packmates to do that for you.
“I don’t think she wants either of us Hyung,” she says, hushed, gentle in her tone- nothing in it telling her how hurt she is or if she’s even hurt at all at not being chosen first. You don’t catch the way that Yoongi’s eyebrows raise, the way his cheeks heat.
For all of his dirty talk earlier, he is completely surprised that it’s him and not alpha and a knot that you ask for first.
Oh, how intimate it is to be needed like this.
You look up at him, shy but needy, you need him- oh how you need him- you couldn’t imagine feeling this way without him here. Couldn’t imagine it feeling so good without his touch. The press of his palm on the small of your back, the rub of his thumb against your rib. It’s so much. It's too much.
You tug one arm underneath you under your chest, the other hovering, holding Hobi's hand behind you blindly. Your fingers, his fingers tangled. You rest your cheek on Tae's thigh and look back as Yoongi shuffles forward. The elastic of his boxers pulled down his hips. The head of his cock pink and glossy with pre-cum.
There is some scuffling in the hall too, a high-pitched “please please please” that can’t be Jin. You’ve never heard him sound desperate like that. Hobi's hot breath dusts the back of your neck.
Your eyes flutter closed as one of Yoongi’s hands leaves your waist to guide his cock. Only to shoot open again. Gasping at the familiar prod.
The thickness is just right, his body heat and his heartbeat you can feel as he fills you more and more. The comfortable stretch that you’ve become so accustomed to. No pain now only pleasure that makes your body hum and tingle from your toes to the top of your head, hair standing on end.
Hair that Hobi pets over. Shushing your full body shivers and hiccups as Yoongi slides home gently. All the way in. Hips flush. Pushing out the rest of your lucidity as he slides in to the hilt.
From that moment on- your heat is a blur. A dizzying cocktail of pleasure, pain, and comfort. Descending down and down and down now that you’re safe. Now that your mate is here.
Yoongi slides all the way in without any resistance. You’re wetter and tighter than usual, so tight around him that he’s sure your clit twitches against the pillow with the strength of your clench. He takes a moment through your mewling to calm himself, certain that if he’s not careful, if moves even a little tiny bit, then he’s going to cum early and muck this all up.
The moment passes between one breath and the next. Yoongi’s hands tremble where they hold your waist. Thumbs rubbing circles on the small of your back, breathing heavily.
"Shh shh shhh little pup, there you go, just like that. So full huh? I know you're sensitive but that's what you needed, isn't it?"
He makes the mistake of looking up at Hobi, and then that’s almost all it takes. His lips are glossy, looking not at him but at the place where both of you connect. The wet hot gush of your cunt stretched around Yoongi’s thickness.
His eyes are so dark they reflect everything, the curve of your bodies, the paleness of Yoongi’s chest a bright speck on his eyes, as fleeting as any star. He licks his lips, barely resisting the temptation to rock forward into the pillow between his thighs.
Barely.
You gasp against Tae's thigh, but her eyes are dark and trained on the same spot. Her lower lip pinned between her teeth like a butterfly to a wall. Keeping a filthy-sounding growl at bay.
There is something about the narrowness of Yoongi’s waist in between your legs and the broadness of his shoulders that makes her feel a little bit crazy. Yoongi has always been beautiful in a way that is neither alpha nor omega. Strong in a way that is an attribute and not a chosen quality.
The gentleness in him is a choice as he pulls you back on his cock, one hand goes to your shoulder, and the other stays on your waist, pulling you back and forth on him. Mindful of everything. The hot squelch of you and the pleasure tugging firm in his gut is secondary to the gentle way he guides you. Gentle and slow but firm.
Yoongi's hand is on your shoulder. Your cheek on Tae’s inner thigh, Yoongi's knuckles brush the inside of Tae's thigh every time he forces you back on his cock. Every warm gasps brushes her skin and Yoongi’s knuckles.
She greatly enjoys this; watching and waiting for her turn. She might not mind waiting forever if it’s Yoongi doing the taking apart. Tae can put you back together later. They can go like that again and again and she’d never mind going second.
Tae picks your hair off your cheeks so that all of them can see your slack lips, your eyes half closed in bliss. Your breath comes out in little 'hng' sounds. Like a moan stuck in your throat.
Her mouth is dry, and you gasp against her thigh when Yoongi grinds deep and stays there. Testing the resistance of your body and marveling at how there isn’t any now. He can feel it deep inside; a place that’s usually impenetrable shifts open bit by bit as the heat settles in you. A little tightness just at the head of his cock that’s maddening.
Fuck, Namjoon will be able to reach there, Yoongi probably could with his fingers, if you hadn’t taken the contraceptive, Namjoon could have put his cock right there and-
It must be your hormones. It must be the mating mark. That must be why he’s so close to cumming so quick. Rocking inside, just to savor the feel of you.
There’s no one alive who's felt this, no one alive who knows what you taste or smell or feel like during your heat. Yoongi will savor this for a moment. Maybe forever.
If the others would only listen, would they let him linger for as long as he wants to? His end barrels past him, flush with the knowledge that it’s him, him making you pant and blush, him making you clench and drip and moan and-
Fucking hell- Yoongi’s almost going insane.
He cums like that, holding your hips flush to his for a handful of seconds, rocking through it, breathing heavily. But he doesn’t flag, doesn’t go soft, just keeps fucking you after a few seconds, cock twitching and throbbing hard.
Fuck. It's so wet and hot, he can feel his cum in you, feel the way it's kept warm and snug. His spend turns frothy around the base of his cock too quick as he sets about fucking you faster, endlessly craving more. The clench of your cunt is not quite enough to keep it from escaping without a knot.
It’s okay, you don’t need to worry about wasting it, Yoongi has more than enough. Yoongi usually doesn’t cum so much, but he’s so distracted by you that he doesn’t notice.
Tae and Hobi grin at him, nostrils flaring because they can scent Yoongi's cum on the air. They know. The feral curve of their teeth eggs Yoongi on. He's not pulling out and he's not stopping until your eyes roll back.
Your eyes go wide when you feel it, giggling softly and reaching down to touch your tummy. Nuzzling into Tae's thigh, as much as a response that they'll get. Your giggling cuts off with a broken hiccup as Yoongi starts up again.
Hobi's watching you, fringe in front of his eyes to the point where Yoongi can't read him. Doesn't have the mind to right now, wholly focused on you. 
But the tops of his cheeks are pink, and he can’t quite meet Yoongi’s eyes. On the other hand, Tae can’t look away from you, your hand gripping her thigh hard to hold yourself steady through the waves of pleasure and the brutal never ending breeding. Every time Yoongi juts forward, no matter how gentle. It feels like fire.
Out in the hallway someone snarls loud. You fall limp, clenching so hard that you all but force Yoongi out of you, he just laughs, deep and low, before guiding his cock back in. Not finished with you at all yet but not quite letting you cum.
Neither is the heat, licking at the back of your throat. He won't stop fucking you no matter how many times you almost cum, at least not until the fire ebbs. You hiccup, squirming.
"No pup, we're not done yet. Just a little more, just a little more and then you can cum, are you gonna make it pretty and squirt for me? I know mommy wants to see you all messy."
He’s jogged out of his reverie by the appearance of Tae's hands. Covering his, helping, pushing you back against his cock. Her eyes meeting his. You mewl blindly. Blinking away tears that Hobi pauses to wipe away.
Yoongi wishes she’d move so that he could duck down and kiss you. Is almost about to ask her to do just that so he can when she speaks.
“What does she feel like- what's it like?” Yoongi hisses, feeling his cock twitch, feeling you clamp down tighter in response to it. Aware that Tae can watch his stomach tremble on the exhale. Hobi looks away, a bit overwhelmed.
“She’s very-” Yoongi cuts himself off as you push back into him, intent on starting the fucking again. But the others soothe you. Stop your pushing, make you go slow. Thighs trembling, drawing out your pleasure. You mewl but it just gets shushed away by Tae. A mild scolding that just heats your blood further.
"Be good pup, I know you can wait and take your breeding like a good girl." She turns back to Yoongi, completely unfazed.
“Very very wet. She’s warming up. It's Hot.”
Hobi presses you down, hands on your shoulders, keeping you presented and at their mercy. There will be time for roughness and more roughhousing later. You keen at the harsh contact, the feeling of being pinned. Hoseok swallows so hard that the two of them can hear it, but Hobi's dominance is a fragile thing.
“Yeah, she is.” Hobi goes bright red, flushes, stutters. "I meant inside."
“I know what you meant.”
His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip. Hobi's cock jumps in his shorts partially at the embarrassment of his slip-up, and partially because when Tae leans to nuzzle she nips at his scent gland in reward.
Hobi likes this, being made to wait. Different than the way that Tae likes it. But if he stops to think about it he'll get insecure. So he lets the humiliation, the control, wrap around him like a blanket. These are the people he trusts to be vulnerable with. The people who decide when Hobi has a chance to knot or be knotted. Same as you.
How strange it is, to be equal to an omega in heat and a female omega no less. Hoseok is not used to this. Not the same way that he is with Jungkook and Jin and their heats.
It's good that the others are going first, to show Hobi that it's not scary. You peer up at him with unsure eyes. Like you're checking too. Hobi's anxiety is a low simmer. Barely there but not entirely gone. Threatening to flare should something trigger him.
You're not glaring at him, you're just looking. Eyeing him like you know he's anxious. Your hand twitches. And he moves to hold yours before he thinks better. You don't reach for his knot between his legs, already throbbing. You don't do anything but hold his hand, turning away from Tae's thigh briefly to nuzzle into your tangled fingers.
Tae's eyes are dark pools of honey. And her scent spikes, nice. You turn away from Hobi to resist the urge to bite his wrist. Pain and Hobi are not things that you want to put together. Pain and Hobi are things that your brain, even heat-addled, does not like to combine.
You press your face into Tae's thighs. Half under her skirt. Hiding there. Hiccuping, breathing heavy. Unaware of the dynamic emerging above you. She waits for another breath, watching Yoongi. The four of you go still.  
Below him, you start to hiccup. It's nice being filled, but you want Yoongi to move already. Your fist tangle in Tae's dress again. Eyes wide and staring blankly, And it’s like you can’t figure out where to grip, where to grab to keep yourself steady.
But all of this is very routine, if they keep you just there, on the edge. build you up and set you down gently, your eventual Orgasam will keep the next wave of heat at bay for a little longer and your body will have more time to recover. It's a balance, giving you what you want and what your body needs.
you mewl and cry below them, sniffling. you've never been denied before. you don't know why, with your tummy already hot and heavy with yoongi's cum, they're keeping you right on the edge.
Tae massages the back of your neck and you pant little mewling breaths against her thigh. it's not a scruff but it's close because a scruff might just make you cum.
You drag your teeth against her thigh when it gets too much, your cute little canines leave little red lines that vanish as soon as they’re there. Tae just coo’s down at you before flicking her eyes up at Yoongi. Waiting and expectant.
She cocks an eyebrow at him and inside of you, his cock twitches. “Were you going to move or….”
“Yeah- sorry,” Yoongi flushes at the momentary awkwardness, the same awkwardness that dissipates immediately as he starts fucking you again.
He’s thankful you’re so vocal. Drowning out the wet slaps and his own broken curses. You’re so wet- the slide is so easy. So good. Your little 'ah ah ah's are so melodic. Joining the chorus of Jungkook's yelps and Jin's snarls.
You’re being touched everywhere, Yoongi’s hands big on your hips, Hobi’s hand down your back, and Tae cradling your face telling you it’s going to be alright. Every touch stokes the fire to burn harder. You like being touched like this, casually while Yoongi has you. You’re close almost from it alone.
Between your legs you start to drip, first down the generous curve of Yoongi’s cock, then onto the nest below. Staining it with the evidence of your sweet surrender.
“There you go,” Hobi says, low and husky as you fall into a rhythm. Your cheek rests against Tae's thigh, panting openly, hiding a little under her skirt. Hobi's finger strokes over your cheek, and you turn away from the touch, not because you don't want it, but because it's embarrassing. Having them watch you so closely like this, at your most vulnerable.
“Awe, pups so shy huh?” Tae teases, and you nod, blinking away tears.
Tae says something far above you, something that sounds too suspiciously like a command, but it's not meant for you. Hobi's hands go to your face and turn you to where they can see you. His thumbs rub up your jaw, cupping your cheeks, and keep you from hiding away in Tae's skirt.
He doesn't say anything and he doesn't need to as your lower lip quivers. There is no one to hide from, no one here that wouldn't love all of you. There is no part of you, dark or pink or otherwise, that these three- Tae, Hobi, Yoongi- don't know yet and love anyway.
Above you sunlight hits Hobi’s hair, turning it red-brown golden. The light Falls on Tae's dress strap too, across Yoongi’s chest and the veins in his hands, throbbing with a heartbeat from here. And you are breathless breathless breath-
“Deeper want it-“
No sooner have you asked for it than is Yoongi adjusting his position. Barely pausing at his steady pace as he hooks an elbow under your knee, all but picking your hips up so he can fuck into you at a punishing pace. The weight of your body pushes him deeper. Hitting a new place inside of you that’s so sensitive you tremble. Popping through some hidden resistance.
Yoongi keeps it steady, not stopping when you gasp, when you drip below you, hitting his legs as you soak the nest below you. Christening the heat nest with the first wave. Your first orgasm that only builds, a first peak that promises another. You gush a little, squirt a little more, every time yoongi slides into you to the hilt.
From this angle you’re completely unable to push back against it. Even less in control and at the mercy of the pace Yoongi sets faster and faster. Carving out a new feeling in you with every thrust. A space in your tummy just for Yoongi, warm and tight and perfect. Pleasure but also hunger for more more and more.
Any other day the wet sounds of your pussy clenching hopelessly around his cock would make him shy- but now all Yoongi can do is give you more. Chasing his building pleasure. A second climax that is stronger than the first. Building you up to your relief as quickly and as gently as he can.
You can’t remember your last heat, the handful of them that you had with Geumjae, you think you were left alone for most of it. You know it wasn’t anything like this.
Hobi pauses and reaches to touch your stomach.
Your eyes shoot open, looking up at him and the half-hardness tenting in his pants. because of you. for you.
Yoongi and you are honest to God so pretty when you fuck. Hobi hasn’t seen this too much before. Sure- little hints of it here and then. both of you tumbling out of the nest room looking sleepy and sated, He's seen Yoongi's hands wander or your touch linger. But this is-
Yoongi is so gentle with you but also firm. Dominant in a way that takes Hobi's breath away and makes his head feel fuzzy. Forcing you back on his cock, punching little “ah ugh’s” from your throat. So gentle in the way that he takes you apart. unyeilding in the pleasure he demands from you.
And the dirty talk-
"Right there yeah? That's the spot that you like isn't it? cute little omega you're doing so well. So cute, don't worry, i'll give you everything you need. I know, it's so much right? It's not too much, i know you can take it, thats my girl- there just like that."
Hobi's going to go insane, Hobi's going to cum in his pants before he's even gotten inside of you. just from the sound of Yoongi's rough voice. husky from the effort. He's already wet, the front of his boxers turning dark from it. Knot already half popped just from watching and-
Tae pulls at your hair, making your neck arch so she can wipe a bit of drool from the corner of your mouth. Cooing, touching your tongue where it lolls out obscene and cute at the same time. Hobi strokes over your stomach, saying nothing, just watching.
He hopes you can’t feel the tremble in his hands or the rapid thunder of his heart or smell his arousal. His hardness, prominent enough that if there weren’t blankets, you’d be able to see. Your eyes are glassy and wide as Yoongi breeds you, Hobi physically sees the haze descend as you get closer and closer to Cumming. Cheeks and chest flushed and pretty. Your eyes flutter closed. Hobi's hands are still on your cheeks. Tae has the same idea.
Your lips open in a perfect little oh. Yoongi thrusts forward particularly hard, and the wet squelch is filthy enough that he almost looks away. Tae's voice is a deep purr.
“Don’t close your eyes honey, I wanna see.” Yoongi laughs at Tae, Teeth gritting.
“Fucking.” Yoongi pants, driving his hips faster. “Bratty” his pace falters, “Alpha.” Tae's pink lips stretch in a smile.
Tae pets through your hair. And it’s gentle but somehow more ruthless that all they do is watch. You’d blush, but your blood is already hot from the heat.
You sob and Yoongi’s face cracks into a grin. “That’s it, there you go for us, cum for me-”
It builds and builds until you’re right on the edge, you stumble over it when the second wave of Yoongi's cum turns your insides hot. That and the barest touch of Hobi's fingers against your clit that has you clenching wildly around him, clenching too hard, almost forcing his cock out if it weren’t for the way he puts his weight behind his next thrust with a broken groan.
Your ears fill with a ringing sound. High-pitched, mind blank. Staring up at Tae without really seeing her. Going just a tiny bit cross-eyed. Just for a second.
When you finally stop seeing stars. Tae is smiling down at you lazily. A satisfied smirk on her face.
Your slick drips down your midline, just a little. You usually get very very wet when the pack gives you proper attention, in heat- your usually slick production is amped up. If you could feel anything right now, you'd be embarrassed.
The world is a collection of sensations. The ringing in your ears. Yoongi's kiss against your mating mark. The sensitivity of your body against the nest; the fabric damp beneath your belly as they turn you onto your back to wipe up your stomach. The blankets replaced. Someone mentions something about getting towels for the next wave and where did Jinnie put them? In the closet or out in the hall?
They set you down gently. Yoongi stretches your leg out straight and makes sure it doesn’t cramp.
There is a drop of water on the end of your nose. You're crying.
Yoongi doesn't move from between your legs, he stays inside. Because an alpha wouldn't move after breeding an omega, wouldn't be able to take their knot out. Yoongi is accustomed enough to omega's in heat to know when to move and when not to. He'll rest here, in your warmth and wet and mess until you tell him to move.
But still, it’s not enough. You cry, cheeks wet, unsure why exactly. The hunger and rabid wanting animal in you is not quiet. The fever does not ease. It hardly even goes down.
Hobi sits up, nervous, about to go bother Namjoon, knotting or not. The hair on the back of Yoongi’s neck stands up. But Tae shushes both of them rubbing your tears away, bending low to kiss them until she moves you off of her lap.
You barely register Hobi's husky voice. “Did so well, so good ug-omega.”  Hobi's flush and his shyness escape your notice. But you do peer up at him, lips pressed to the meat of his thumb. Mumbling, sleepy and sniffly. 
“Good? Not scary? Not hurts?” You ask, your words a little scrambled from the heat.  
He leans low to kiss your brow. Lingering there for a second, leaving his lips there. Make eye contact with Yoongi over the top of your head. Looking sweaty and victorious and a little bit like he’s gloating as he shakes his long hair out of his eyes. Tae's hand splays on his stomach, bullying up behind him, saying something filthy into his ear, before she swirls her fingers through his tummy hair and then reaches lower.
“Not scary at all.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Your breath hitches, You feel something prod at your sensitive entrance. Something bullying its way in next to Yoongi. The stretch burns but it feels so good. It’s the itch you needed to scratch, the last thing your body was missing. It quiets the fire in you, the flames of wanting ebbing.
You don’t even register that it’s Tae's fingers, sneaking in next to Yoongi and holding you open a little, curling just a bit to simulate the stretch of a knot and press against the scent gland in your pussy, close to your special little spot. Has she had to do this before for Jungkook and Jin? Is this a normal predicament for Yoongi? What does it feel like to have Tae's fingers by his cock and you so warm and wet outside?
Yoongi's pants, pants as Tae…sort of holds his cock while it's in you. He gives a faint twitch and she laughs behind him, hardness pressing against the curve of his hip. Forgotten about it for now.
The extra stretch calms your instincts and the fever ebbs a little. Your sweat cools. Your heart rate slows. Eyelids heavy, starting to get sleepy.
“Thanks Tae.”
You hear the sound of kisses, slow and sloppy as you doze. Comforted by the stretch at your entrance and Yoongi’s cock. You collect moments like seashells. Hobi sprawling out, more relaxed than before. Hand combing through your hair gently. Careful not to snag.
Tae's knees accidentally pressing against your hips. Yoongi strokes up and down your stomach, your sides, everywhere. Your hands pulled to your chest. Unable to focus on anything other than how full and filled you feel. Bred and taken. Claimed by the mark on your throat and the warmth in your tummy. All full, finally full.
The stretch makes you feel a little better- makes the need not quite so frantic. It can wait for later, the need for the others tearing through you. You can take this moment of peace right now.
your mind drifts, the seconds and minutes drifting away.
Warmth comes and goes, There is someone holding a straw with a cup to your lips. Hobi is along your front, half sitting up. The glass is dewy with condensed water. His hands damp.
Was he just standing up? Did he go to the kitchen and leave the safety of the nest just to give you some water, that's so lovely and so sweet. Your instincts tell you that you should let Hobi pup you for that.
As a treat.  
You know you won't be awake for long, your thoughts are slippery to hold onto at best. Yoongi rests inside of you and doesn’t pull out. he Lets you cockwarm him and keeps you filled even though he’s going just a little soft. Tae pulls her fingers out once your fever goes down, ebbing until your body temperature returns to a stable baseline and the next wave no longer threatens to flare.
Hobi pokes the straw against your lip, and you suck blindly, obediently. Without opening your eyes. Non-verbal. They’re talking- you register dimly. You don't need to be concerned with what they say, you know they'll look after you regardless of if you're listening.
You rub your cheek against Tae's thighs. You love her thighs, they're so soft and warm. You hope you get to spend all of your heat like this, your head propped up in Tae's lap.
Well…maybe not all of your heat. You'd also like to sit in her lap too, preferably with her knot inside of you. But that can wait, she’s not going anywhere and you’ll make sure of it.
Your fever flares as your heat-addled thoughts run rampant, eyes closed and scent sweetening. It garners the attention of your pack, falling quiet above you.
“Do you think-” There is a hand on your face, your cheek, feeling you for fever. Tae's chipped fingernail polish flashes in the light.
“Not yet. We've got like, half an hour probably? Maybe a bit less?”
The slapping sounds in the hallway have finally quieted and the sound of your pack omega’s purring lulls you into a soft state. Your eyes flutter closed. Jinnie will be here soon, Jinnie is purring so you should purr too.
You fall back asleep, the rumbling in your chest a light lullaby. Above you, your packmates go calm and quiet.
"She smells so calm, it's so- it's so-" Tae rubs down Yoongi’s side, but Yoongi doesn’t look up. Looking down at you, eyes full of some unreadable emotion that is actually not unreadable only because they know Yoongi so well, his breath comes quicker, and he blinks quick.
Lowering his body, getting as close to you as possible. But he doesn’t relax, doesn’t blink so as to not miss a single moment looking down at you. Hand on either side of your body, depressing the nest. Your purring peters off as you actually fall asleep but- but-
Crouched over you, you don't even stir. Your chest rises up and down. Evenly. You nap without worry.
Hobi wants to tell him it’s alright. And it is alright if he needs to cry. Hoseok understands. Sometimes getting what you want finally- the person you love healthy and happy- Can bring up a happy sort of sadness.
Sadness, unfortunately, has its way of sticking around.
You doze below Yoongi, completely unworried and unburdened by any of it, and what a lovely lucky thing that is. For a single moment, Yoongi wishes that nothing would change. That you’d never leave this room and stay just like this. Happy and safe and satisfied forever.
He hovers, lingers in the moment. Tae and Hobi hold him. Letting him process it for a breath or two. The moment will end whether Yoongi wants it to or not.
Tae and Hobi don’t bring it to your attention and you slumber on, unaware. Gently pausing, getting up, abdominal muscles straining. Each of them presses a kiss to either side of your mate's face. Silent in their loveing but Yoongi finds it no less reassuring.
The next time you blink away the haze you can see evening yellow streaming through the window. Casting all of your loves in honey shadows. You don’t think to count for bodies, you’re too focused on the task in front of you.
The very very big task in front of you.
Your instincts sniff it out like blood on easy prey. Your cheek is still on Tae's lap. And there is a scent a few inches from you that makes your fever spike again. Your eyes flutter open and you see it.
Her hardness is right there, poking up through the translucent fabric of her dress. Flush with her stomach and visibly pink and hard. Barely contained by her panties in a way that you know must be uncomfortable.
Tae has such a pretty cock, such an unfairly pretty dick. No doubt, she's still hard because of your heat hormones. Hard and thick and lovely bulging in her skirt. Just looking at it makes your eyes water, your tongue feels slippery and hungry in your mouth.
You start to shuffle forward only to be momentarily distracted by movement in the door.
It’s a little comical the sight of someone so small carrying your big buff omega. Jiminie handles Jungkook like he’s nothing, like he hardly weighs more than a pillow. both of Jimin's hands underneath his knees. Jungkook's arms loosely wrapped around the alpha's neck, kept snug against his front.
Jungkook looks blissed out and dazed. His strong neck and shoulders are bitten up and dotted with red semi-circles. His chest is too- at least from what you can see of it. He's bundled up so close to Jimin's chest, it almost makes his usually muscular form look small. He's probably feeling small and omegaspacy like you are.
He's still knotted to Jiminie judging from the tender and careful way that Jimin carries him.
Jimin deposits both of them in the nest without any unintentional pulling or unknotting the omega. You perk up a little, chin balanced on Tae's knee to watch. Hobi cranes his body, bending backward without getting up, twisting and reaching so that he can get his hand in Jungkook’s hair.
“How is he?”
“Little fucker tried to bite my knot.” Tae giggles, her tummy makes her cock jiggle. You’re so close. All you have to do is press your mouth to the fabric and it will practically be inside. Your tongue is already pushing out and-
She shuffles away, every inch a heartbreak. You are too tired to chirp.
She reaches back mirroring Hobi's position, long chestnut hair spilling in the nest, arching her back and looking at both Jimin and Jungkook upside down so she can tangle her hands in Jungkook’s raven-dark hair. So that her other hand can settle on Jimin’s calf. Sporting several bite marks of his own.
You're too tired to whine or chirp to get her attention. But across the nest, Jungkook shifts. Restless.
“Do we need to muzzle you like we muzzle Joonie, Koo?”
Koo has little more than a huff in response. Uncharacteristically tired after being thoroughly put through his paces by Jimin. But it’s only the first wave, and like I said, hormones take a while to build
For everyone, not just omegas.
Whatever quiet moment Jin and Namjoon are having in the hall comes to an end as Namjoon carries him in, bridal style and no longer knotted to the pack alpha. Not all of you can be as dexterous as Jimin is. Jin doesn’t look like he minds, happy to be placed next to you. Taking Hobi's spot or close to it. It's almost like Namjoon puts Jin on top of your little puppy pile.
It's where Jinnie wants to be, on top of his pups.
Namjoon’s hands linger, but only just, he stands up straight but then ducks down to run his fingers through Yoongi’s hair, messing it up.
“Oh, my fucking god-” Yoongi says, a little incredulous. Already flushing even though Namjoon hasn't even spoken yet.
“Proud of you,” Namjoon says. A grin that is ever so slightly hassling on his face.
Yoongi's cheeks and ears go splotchy. “I’m fucking my mate Jonnie, it’s not something I need a participation trophy for.”
“We could get you one- engrave it ‘best cock in the fucking world’ or something. whatever you want.”
“Is that a compliment or an insult?”
“I was hoping you’d take it as some light flirting, but I’ll take what I can get.”
“I’m literally still inside of our omega and you want to flirt with me?” He’s more perplexed than he is annoyed. He looks a bit like a fluffed-up cat, astounded to realize the toy he's been caught playing with is, in fact, plastic and not a mouse.
Beside you, Hoseok flushes and you know it has everything to do with Yoongi calling you ‘ours’ and not just ‘mine’. Namjoon got the job done. Yoongi is no longer looking down at you like he might cry.
“He called your cock great; I think that hardly classifies it as ‘light’” Tae says.
“Guys, I am literally still-“
Jimin pushes Jungkook to the side, all so that he can grind his knot in again, deep, still not going down enough to pull out. The omega lets out a choked whine, at Jimin’s mercy. “I am too- never stopped me.” He turns to Tae. Hips rocking in circles. Absent-minded.
Jungkook tangles a fist in the nest and takes it with sweet little 'hng' noises. “That dress is honestly-“ Jimin trails off, Jungkook lets out an aborted whine at the pulsing in Jimin’s knot.
Tae just raises her eyebrow at him. If Jimin wasn’t red before he is now, especially once her eyes flick down to where he’s knotted to Jungkook. Pushing at his streached rim. Little cock helplessly weepy. His abdominal muscles faintly glossy from drying slick.
Yoongi splutters and you smile against Tae's thigh. Purring your agreement with Jimin. Now if only your hands would cooperate in taking off her dress or at least hike it up-
But Jinnie shuffles over. Still a little non-verbal in Omegaspace, just like you and Kookie. But to the point where his sentences are broken but sure, said with a pout and a command.
“Needed to check, needed to make sure." The others move for the pack omega, parting like the river over a stone. you don't immidatly register it, letting out a petulant whine when yoongi starts to move away.
Jinnie touches your tummy gently, delicate in the way that he sets palm against flesh. Finding it swollen and heavy. Perfectly soft and delicate. He touches you like someone would touch a flower, worried about the slightest brush too bruising.
You’re momentarily distracted by it. The warm heat of Jin’s palm, the flushed pout to his lips and cheeks. Pretty- your pack omega is so pretty in heat. You look up at him, sprawled. Yoongi twitches hardening inside of you as Jinnie bends low to nose at your stomach. Dark hair tickling your belly button.
Jin presses his nose just above your waistline and sniffs deep. when he breathes out it's a purr. Loud and satisfied.
He picks himself up and looks down at you with eyes that reflect no light, no anything. Dark and round like stones. "Bred omega, good packmate, good-"
Outside a bird putters close to the window. Jimin’s head jerks in it’s direction. Taught body relaxing the second he realizes it. Namjoon blinks down at you and Jin slowly.
Yoongi is still somewhat hard but pulling out, and even though it's been 30 minutes since you came, it still garners him a small mewl of displeasure from your throat. He doesn’t let any of his cum slip out. Forcing the little that does come out back in with the tips of his fingers.
but jin needs to see, needs to check, he pulls apart the dewy folds of your cunt with his fingers, nuzzling with his nose, you're so sensitive you jerk, all but mewling when he dares to lap at your entrance. soothing where you got stretched. happy to find you unharmed.
You twitch and tremble. Above you, Tae laughs.
Jin's voice is a deep hiss. "More- more not yet."  He rubs his face into your stomach and thighs once more, makeing sure you're scent marked, that the alpha's who defile you will be able to smell him on you before they knot you. before he gets up on his knees and scents them. Hobi first, then Tae, then Yoongi.
He might get a little bit of your slick on them, his cheeks wet in patches with it. it's a little goss but honestly, Jin doesn't notice.
"Good pups. Best pups"
Above all of you, Joonie looks on fond. His knot is still half-inflated at the base of his cock. Still hard and achy and yummy, looking entirely too large to be real. As is normal. Everyone is bare besides your trio that helped you through your first wave and as you realize this, Jin tugs at Hobi's boxers. Displeased.
But you are not paying much attention to Hobi and Jin, still looking at Namjoon. At his knot between his legs. You clench down hard when you look at it, Yoongi’s fingers direct your gaze back up to him. Raising his eyebrows almost in challenge.
Namjoon's scent thickens on the air, but so does Tae's
Hobi ducks away at Jin’s attention and Jin won't let him rest, sniffing at the hollow of his throat, all but backing Hobi up against a wall. Like Jin’s worried he doesn’t believe him. “Best pups” he repeats again, like he's worried hobi doesn't belive him.
 “We haven’t even done anything yet-”
“Still. Best. Pups.”
You turn to Hobi, whining, and finally breaking your eye contact and the weird half-tension between you, Namjoon, and your mate. Namjoon finally gets off his feet. Sinking into the nest and shuffling up behind Jin, half pinning him to the nest. Distracting him from quite literally herding Hobi by pawing at his legs. Jinnie has pretty legs, strong thighs and muscular calves. They part when Namjoon prods, more instinct than conscious choice.
Namjoon's hands shift the pack omega's legs apart and start to guide his cock back, not for another round but maybe for comfort. Perhaps he's been influenced by Yoongi's cockwarming to soothe. (That's a nice idea, isn't it? All of their omega's warm and bred full, all at once). Obviously trying to settle whatever instincts are currently rocking through Jinnie.
But Jin makes a noise, alarmed and not entirely interested.
Namjoon is already half inside but he pulls Jin off his cock anyway. His knot falls, heavy and wet with slick and spend against his thigh. He sets Jin down. “Fuck.” The pack omega throws his head back against the nest and blinks away his daze the same moment that Jungkook sighs and pushes back against Jimin before the elder of the two finally pulls his knot free with a gentle hiss.
You assume, more than see- as Namjoon’s hand finds its way between Jin’s thighs to push his spend back into the omega’s hole. You still don’t know how Jin manages to take Namjoon unprepped- even inside of heat.
A whine starts to build while you look at it, how are you supposed to choose?
“Wanna switch?” Namjoon offers reading the pack omega in the way that only sort of soulmates do. You perk up, trying to push yourself onto your palms unsuccessfully.
Jin nods, messy hair fluffing. “Too sleepy, can’t sleep on your knot, s’too-” Jin licks his lips, eyes darting down to look at it. “-Distracting.”
Jimin’s hand is already on Jinnie’s ankle and Jk sits up on his hands and knees. He and Tae make eye contact and before you know it he’s shuffling over to her and she’s starting to shift.
It’s casual like that- your alpha’s talking about which omega to breed next and who needs it most. You’re the only one still blissed out and at ease. Maybe just because you had three packmates to settle you and they only had two.
But you don’t like it. The way that Tae moves away from you.
Your attention ping-pongs back and forth from Namjoon to Tae. Completely unaware of the pack alpha's dark eyes on you. The thing about omega's in heat is that they're a little bit dumb.
Jungkook watches you move, watches Tae jostle you. Pupils dilating in alarm. His own pleasure momentarily forgotten. Your hands tighten on Tae's thighs, a needy whine building in your throat.
“Wait- my mommy- mine-” You chirp. But Tae is already moving away.  
And before the others can even breathe Jungkook is jerking in Tae's direction. Lip lifted in a soundless snarl, answering your call first. The quickest.
“Kookie don't you dare.” "omega." “Wait don’t-”
Jk is quicker and stronger in heat. Too quick for Jimin to grab him or for namjoon to dive. He jolts, but at the last second you curve your arm over Tae's hip and his teeth hit you and not her. Hissing and spluttering, a smarting pain that honestly to God shocks you.
Jungkook’s teeth are still embedded in your skin as you look down. Cheeks hot, eyes wide. the rest of the pack falls silent. A bit stunned. But Jungkook just hurtles on, crouching over you and growling and hissing. Jungkook’s nose presses hard into your cheek as he bares his teeth. Licking them. glaring up at tae. “My pup- mine- alpha bad- alpha made omega sad-”
Tae lets out a crushed sound, upset.
Namjoon wastes no time, the first one to move after being shocked still. Getting up on his knees only to drag Jungkook back and away from you. Drawing him over his lap in quick succession, landing several swats over his ass. hard and loud. landing one over his cock for good measure and jungkook folds, breathing heavy. After the third hit to his cock, Jungkook’s yelps become moans.
Namjoon gives him no mercy when he pulls him onto his cock in one fluid movement, not bothering to prep him. Jungkook likes the sting, the stretch. Eyes rolling back.
Tae pulls you up onto her lap. Her cock trapped between your stomach and hers. But she’s not looking at your face but at your wrist. Yoongi shuffles behind you, inspecting it tilting it gently so that the red marks catch the light and they can see the damage jungkook did.
Your skin already already going purple and dark from a bruise.
“Are you alright- are you-” You are not worried about the pain in your arm, only the searing need between your legs. Tae has you in her lap, right where you want to be (unless?). You fumble with her skirt. Tearing it this way and that, hungry and insistent.
Her knot- you need her knot. You grind your hips together hot and filthy. Your pussy against her cock, her dress trapped between both of you. The fabric is rough even though you can feel her body heat through it.
“Mommy- mommy please-”
The room spins, and you're so dizzy you can't even think straight. Jungkook biting you must have sent you hurtling into your next wave of heat, which is not good. Not good at all. If your spikes are too close together at the beginning of your heat then they just won't end at all. A prolonged fever is too dangerous.
She barely pauses before she pulls up the hem to her skirt, letting her cock- pink-tipped and pretty- pop free of the honestly tiny panties, the bow at the front crumpled. You rub against it, turning it wet. The fire flows, sparking hotter and hotter and hotter. She grabs your hips, alarmed.
But Yoongi grabs your waist. Keeps you from putting it inside your hole, clenching around nothing, empty. You wail. You want it. Yoongi tucks his chin over your shoulder, hands running up and down your sides to try and soothe you.
"Wait little honey, let's get mommy nice and wet like this first." He guides you like that, to rub your cunt up and down Tae's length, every push of the head of her cock through your pussy makes you moan and twitch, wetter and wetter. Tae looks down, and it's not just your slick, but Yoongi's spend wetting her cock. Creamy, milky white tinged clear. Fuck.
at the base of her cock, her knot skin feels tighs and swollen, you rub low, getting it nice and wet too.
Yoongi does not let you go further, does not let you put in. his voice is husky in your ear.
"I want you to cum like this before you have her, you have to show Mommy how messy you get just from this, have to show her you're good for a knot too. A big pretty cock like that won't fit in unless you're nice and wet okay honey? You're too tiny to take it without cumming first and besides-" yoongi hesitates.
"don't you want to show them? jinnie and joonie and kookie?"
You nod, eyes glassy. Outside of heat, you might not believe him but right now Yoongi's words are gospel. At least your fever stops it's climbing, it doesn't get any better, but it doesn't get any worse. yoongi heaves a sigh of relief.
You really are unable to choose when you're in heat like this. It's not just useless talk. It really should be left up to Yoongi or the others, or else you'll hop from knot to knot, the heat fever frying your body and brain.
When you look over, Jungkook rides Namjoon. Facing you and pouting. Parting his legs so that you can see where they join. Mumbling something unintelligible that the others can’t make out. But your packmates keep you separated on opposite sides of the nest.
Behind him you hear the hush. “Is Koo? Rejecting her?” they hardly dare risk saying it out loud. “I don’t think so.” But still, the pack is not quite sure what just happened. why jungkook tired to bite you after tae moved away from you.
Deep in Jungkook’s chest, his instincts sing. My pup, alphas need to stay next to my pup, the pup needs pretty alpha. But words remain as effervescent as lucidity, the words just out of reach
Tears hover at the edge of your waterline, across the nest Jungkook watches you, sniffling too. Every time he even thinks of squirming away from Namjoon’s knot to get to you the alpha pulls him back onto it. After a few thrusts, Jungkook is too heat-addled to think straight. Too fucked up to glare at you (he's not glaring, he's staring at you with determination.)
In the nest still lying prone, Jin yawns, stretching out, toes curling. Showing off his cum stained tummy, his flushed cheeks, and the pretty round curve of his body. Raising his eyebrows at the alpha’s in your nest.
Your nest. Yours’s, Jin’s and Jungkook’s. Full of your pretty alpha’s with their pretty knots. 
Tae's cock rubs up between your legs, head bumping against your clit and you jerk, only to be met with Yoongi's sushing.
It's so different to have them so close, to have them fucking right here close to you. You're almost more interested in watching Jungkook and Namjoon fuck than you are in getting fucked by Tae. Almost. Your body grids forward unbidden. Eager even if your mind is hazy.
Jin's a bit more lucid (the three of you share a single brain cell in heat, and Jin will keep it in his front pocket for the foreseeable future.) Your packmates sit at attention watching as Jin parts his honey thighs just a little in invitation. His cheeks are rosy as he raises an eyebrow at them.
“Well? Who’s next?”
Three hands shoot into the air. Then after a moment, you shakily raise your hand too.
~-~
Come tell me what you liked about this chapter!
Notes:
part of me did not like the intro of this chapter like at all, almost deleted all of it so many times but? it's so hard putting so much effort into parts of this series that i know will probably never see the light of the final version and then choosing to delete them, like yes the wordcount might be high and this stuff might be a little wordy but? people always wanted more of bily so even months later i'll give it to them.
so i re-read a really good fanfic that was set in like, victorian/viking stuff? and it totally altered my brain chemistry and i feel as though i was writing in a way thats a bit more like, old timey? maybe you can tell because i felt like this chapter was alot more like- flowy than usual.
honestly i'm super proud of the line "Flip-flopping until Jungkook can’t tell if it hurts too much to keep going or if it feels too good to stop." like ugghhhhhhhh thats a good one.
also the line 'each nickname more loving than your own name.' was a very very small refrence to call me by your name, just a little. i do think that the m/c is not very comfortable with her own name, or your name- whatever that may be like- it's very clear that i avoid using y/n as much as possible. i think it appears in the story a good like 10 times after almost a million words? (i double checked and it in fact appears 21 times in the entire story- thats actually mind boggling to me tbh)
the part where yoongi is talking about how healthy the m/c looks was directly inspired by a conversation i had with @trifoliumrex because her ideas are always always so impossibly good i can't resist putting them into the story.
if it's not clear, yoongi is definitly feeling the effect of the m/c's addictive slick and her hormones, he is equally as heat addled as the pack is, he's just never felt the true effects of an omega in heat before because he's never been mated to the person in heat so yeah- it's the mating mark! this won't be the last time we see him acting like an alpha because of the marks.
yoongi *his cock almost in the m/c* so who you fuckin? m/c: the fuck? you?
can we just apreciate how ridicilously hot it is that tae's tiddies jiggle when she growls like??? fuck me right?
now personally i love woumb fucking but i know it's not everyones cup of tea so i hope i skirted by it just perfectly
that moment where yoongi is talking about how there's no one alive whose felt her in heat is a direct dig at geumjae. yoongi does hate him a lot you know- even if he couldn't kill him.
i am so soft for boys that cum too quick but also have no refractory period like i am so into it it almost makes me feel like i'm not a lesbian. i think it's so /cute/.
tbh, i think it's actually fucking adorable how it's thoughts of namjoon penetrating the m/c that has yoongi cuming too soon. like fuck he's so into how namjoon fucks her and how big his cock is- do we think yoongi has a size kink and that that itch is scratched by namjoon fucking her? like just imagine at the begining it was namjoon fucking yoongi that got him off and then he goes out and gets a mate thats even smaller than him who could hardly take namjoon's cock at the begining...ugh i love that.
(tmi but) i always end up subconciously edging myself when i write smut chapters because obviously this is all stuff i'm into and i've got to sit and finish it and wait to like... take care of myself until after i'm finished or else my interest in writing goes away immideatly. i just know that if mommy tae where here she'd make me cockwarm her while i write the chapter and that is a fantasy i'm going to reward myself with later.
i think that this chapter sounds and feels alot different because the process was so drawn out and so much different than other chapters because i had to pause.
i realized while editing this that i needed more of hobi in it so! i hope you enjoy how the wordcount jumped!
yoongi is so horny but also hopelessly sentimental in this my god.
the m/c is so dumb and horny in this chapter like what do you mean she wants namjoon and tae's knot both at the same time? like she can't even take one of those at once without prep normally let alone both-
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sheree-says-stuff · 2 days ago
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LONG LOST MCR INTERVIEW!!!! RARE!!!!! '06
Interviewer: *laughing* "Alright, welcome to this very candid interview with Frank Iero and Gerard Way. Guys, thank you for joining us today!"
**Frank Iero:** "Yeah, no problem! Always a pleasure to be here."
**Gerard Way:** *eyes glued to iPad screen* "Mm-hmm, sure." *quiet chuckle*
**Interviewer:** *glances at Gerard, then back to Frank* "So Frank, we hear you've developed a bit of an admiration for someone—or, um, something—called 'Hawk Tuah Girl'? Care to explain?"
**Frank Iero:** *grinning* "Oh, yeah, Hawk Tuah Girl. She's honestly been on my mind a lot lately. I know it sounds a little random, but there's something about her that's so... powerful, you know? She’s like, this unfiltered force of nature, just breaking through expectations and being unapologetically herself. I love that. I mean, we could all use a little more of that energy."
**Gerard Way:** *barely looking up from his iPad* "Yeah, but does Hawk Tuah Girl ever, like... flush toilets or something?" *snickers to himself*
**Interviewer:** *laughs nervously* "Uhh, Gerard, not exactly the direction I was thinking we were going in, but, Frank, back to Hawk Tuah Girl—what is it about her that stands out to you?"
**Frank Iero:** "Right, right. So, Hawk Tuah Girl, for me, she represents this kind of freedom—like, the freedom to just exist and be a little weird, without needing validation from anyone else. It’s a vibe. A vibe I’m very much here for. Like, if I was ever stuck in a bad place, I think I could look to her as a reminder that being yourself is enough."
**Gerard Way:** *snorts and glances over at Frank* "So, basically, she’s your spirit animal now?"
**Frank Iero:** *laughs* "Yeah, I guess you could say that. She’s like my punk rock superhero."
**Gerard Way:** *muttering under his breath* "I need a superhero who knows how to hit the 'skip' button on Skibidi Toilet."
**Interviewer:** *laughing* "Gerard, are you... watching *Skibidi Toilet* right now?"
**Gerard Way:** *holds up iPad, showing a clip from *Skibidi Toilet* where a dancing character is wildly out of sync with the music* "Uh, yeah. It’s... art."
**Frank Iero:** *grins mischievously* "See, Gerard's whole thing is balancing deep, introspective moments with... *Skibidi Toilet*."
**Gerard Way:** *shrugs* "It’s a balance. You can’t take yourself too seriously all the time, right? Gotta laugh at the weird stuff."
**Interviewer:** *laughing* "Fair enough! So, Frank, it’s safe to say that Hawk Tuah Girl brings a lot of meaning into your life. Would you say she’s changed your perspective on your own art?"
**Frank Iero:** "Oh, definitely. I think, just like her, I’ve been learning to embrace the messiness, the weirdness. The world doesn’t need another ‘perfect’ version of anything. It needs something that feels real. And Hawk Tuah Girl, man, she’s real. She’s like a reminder to just... make noise and have fun while doing it."
**Gerard Way:** *nodding sagely* "Yeah, and *Skibidi Toilet* reminds me that anything can be art if you believe in it hard enough." *pauses* "Also, I think I might need more toilet humor in my life after this interview."
**Interviewer:** *laughing* "Well, there you have it, folks. Frank Iero finds inspiration in Hawk Tuah Girl, and Gerard... well, Gerard is watching *Skibidi Toilet*. Thank you both for such a delightful and slightly chaotic chat today."
**Frank Iero:** "Anytime. But seriously, if you haven’t checked out Hawk Tuah Girl, you need to. It’s a vibe."
**Gerard Way:** *still transfixed by his iPad* "Yeah... it’s all about the vibe." *mutters* "I’m not skipping this one."
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fortunxa · 3 days ago
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I gave myself some time to think after watching act III, and I can finally share my thoughts. Let me break it down episode by episode so it’s more coherent because I’m itching to talk about it. Buckle up because this won’t be short.
cw: mentions of sh, depression, borderline personality disorder, suicidal tendencies
episode 7 — Pretend Like It’s the First Time
This whole episode felt like pure fanfiction and fan service, and I genuinely can’t believe how Timebomb shippers are still standing after this. Throughout this whole episode, it’s been clearly shown how Ekko will only accept one version of Jinx—the easy to digest one. The one that hasn’t been traumatized. How can someone call it love? Love isn’t picking and choosing what you accept, you either love the whole person or you don’t. Alternate universe Powder is the epitome of the manic pixie dream girl archetype for the current timeline Ekko. Would Timebomb work in that alternate universe? Sure, but that’s because it’s their reality. They don’t know anything else—Powder doesn’t become the Jinx we know now. Alternate universe Ekko isn’t faced with Jinx’s mental health problems—he has nothing to pick and choose from.
Do I hate Ekko? No, I actually like his character, but he’s torn between reality and fantasy. Can I blame him? Also no, because we’ve seen his childhood. We can only imagine what damage losing everyone he loved and cared about at such a young age (and so suddenly) did to him mentally. I can’t fault him for holding onto the past (even if he denies doing so), but it is an issue that stands in the way of current timeline Timebomb.
To him, there’s only Powder or Jinx, but she’s so much more complex than that. It’s been shown repeatedly how Jinx is a part of Powder (the whole act I of season 1), and how Powder is still a part of Jinx (until the very end, no matter how hard she tried to get rid of her).
BONUS: The necklace Powder has speaks for itself. A blue rose represents, and I quote, “Unrequited love, a longing for the impossible. A yearning for someone out of reach or a relationship that cannot be fully realized.” Both Ekko’s and Powder’s side profiles aren’t on the same side of the necklace to begin with. They only merge once she spins it.
BONUS 2: Other than “Ma meilleure ennemie” by Stromae & Pomme being an absolute bop, some of you simply didn’t translate it, and it shows. Here are some highlights, specifically Pomme’s lyrics (clearly depicting Jinx):
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episode 8 — Killing Is a Cycle
The episode that started to break me. We see Jinx, absolutely drained, sitting in that cell because Isha’s death was her breaking point. No one and I mean no one, showed that girl the love and acceptance she needed and deserved other than Isha. Not Silco, not Vi, not Ekko. Building that beautiful storyline for two acts straight just to rip it away from her in such a traumatizing way—a parallel to the explosion at the warehouse, too? Wow. They were setting the stage for Jinx’s breakdown since the very beginning of this season. Making us watch the hope in her bloom, find something (or someone in this case) worth living for again, be loved and accepted for who she is just to watch it all burn and leave her with nothing again—pure evil.
“I didn’t know your mom was there.” Can you hear my heart breaking even further? That brings me to my next point: Jinx in relation to Caitvi.
After watching all of what Caitlyn did this season, not only to the city but to Vi, and then still believing Caitvi is healthy? Are we watching the same show? Season 1 Caitvi stood a chance, but this? So shallow and underdeveloped. Cait became a whole dictator. She was Vi’s breaking point, too, and the reason why she hit rock bottom in the first place. Jinx saw that firsthand, and she still thinks she’s the one standing in the way of Vi’s happiness? The only person standing in the way of that is Caitlyn herself, who isn’t even being held accountable for her actions whatsoever at any point. “We can’t erase our mistakes.” but we clearly can pretend they never happened, right?
“She’s being held in the bunker while I decide what to do.” What exactly did Cait expect from that? Telling Vi, her apparent love interest—who knows what it’s like to suffer in prison, not even physically but straight up mentally—that she’s keeping her mentally ill little sister in a cell while she decides what to do? What’s there to decide? And who are you to decide?
“I’m giving you this one chance to account for your actions, all the pain you’ve caused.” Is this projecting I hear from Cait? Can’t even tell since she never did what she’s expecting from Jinx, having done far worse things than her by that point. She let martial law take place for fuck’s sake. She used the grey to gas the Undercity (which still boggles me that Vi agreed to it). She was ready to risk Isha’s safety (a CHILD) just to get to Jinx.
BONUS (while I’m at it): Caitlyn would’ve missed the final shot, no matter how much she believed that she wouldn’t. She missed the shot twice right before that: first, when she shot Jinx’s finger off, and second, when she accidentally shot at Vi. They gave us this shot of Cait looking crazed out for a reason. She was losing her mind.
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She was blinded by grief, yes, but I was waiting for the moment where she finally admits to her wrongdoings (other than screaming “I know!” while tossing a boat figurine, that is). “No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes.” Sure, and a lousy sex scene can?
Let’s talk about it.
When Jinx leaves Vi in the cell, she’s clearly suicidal and mentally unwell—even more than what we’ve seen from her so far. The dialogue they gave her, again, making her believe that she was the issue all along was just heartbreaking to hear. Yes, it’s Jinx’s perception of herself, going back to her believing she’s a jinx and how everyone close to her dies, but that perception of herself shifted when Isha came into the picture. And like I said, they took that away, so going back to the topic at hand.
Vi just being ready to hear another ‘I told you so’ from Caitlyn when she finds her, and then they just end up having “sex” (or actually, just giving Cait the pleasure Vi deserved instead after everything she put her through). We’ve seen crumbs of unsatisfying communication between them about what happened, and that sex scene in the cell was the last straw for me at this point. What do you mean Vi saw her suicidal sister sitting in that very same cell (starving and self-harming herself, may I add) and instead of running after her, she pounces on Cait?
“But the parallel to their first meeting back in s1!” I don’t care. That’s just fucked up to witness. In what world would Vi—who swears to care about her family—do that? We see her as this family-oriented person, who doesn’t give up on Jinx despite it all, and this was just so out of character in the name of fan service.
episode 9 — The Dirt Under Your Nails
Starting off strong, we see depressed and suicidal Jinx right off the bat. How did Ekko manage to get through to her? Well, it’s not like he would’ve stopped either way. He would’ve kept using his z-drive over and over again until he finally got it right.
What do we gain from that? Hopeful Jinx again, yippee! Wrong. She’s back for her sister, and it’s beautiful to witness. “I’m always with you. Even when we’re worlds apart.” Fighting with and for her, ready to die for her—we saw time and time again how Jinx was never the true jinx she believed she was. She managed to fix things with Vi—and even Ekko at this point—and managed to find and bring joy. That was the true ending both sisters deserved.
What do we get instead? Implying that Jinx sacrifices herself for Vi. Other than the pure rollercoaster of emotions they put Jinx through, making a suicidal character kill themselves (or even implying so) is just plain insensitive. What message does that send? As I said in a comment section, the writers aren’t blind, and they’re not dumb either. They know how many mentally ill fans Jinx herself has. As someone who struggles with bpd too, I related to her character in so many ways. More than I’m willing to share in this post, so that finale just left a bitter taste in my mouth. Speaking with other people who are struggling with their mental health helped me see that I wasn’t the only one affected by it. Quoting my friend: “We need to normalize considering the effects of the narrative on the fans.” And this isn’t to say that every suicidal character should magically get better, this isn’t how the real world works. But Jinx’s storyline had no reason to end on that note by that point. Forced and rushed.
Dead or runaway, leaving her with the “everybody’s better off without me” narrative was just the wrong way to go about it. Plain and simple. It was rubbing salt into the wound, spitting in the face of her development. They decided to end the show with an underdeveloped Caitvi “endgame” when they spent all this time developing Jinx’s arc. And all of this for what? Such a disappointing way to wrap things up, with literal crumbs as hints that maybe she’s still alive.
And the bitter cherry on top of Caitvi’s messy relationship this season, other than the complete lack of communication—Vi comparing herself to the dirt under Cait’s nails. What a cute (not really) way to remind us of their differences and Piltover’s stance on Zaun for the majority of the show—seen as nothing more than dirt. When Sevika joins the Council after the war, she’s still being looked down on. This just makes me sick.
BONUS: No mentions of Isha in Act III was pure evil (no, the paint on Jinx’s new outfit, the bunny ears on the balloon or even Isha’s doll were not enough. I wanted her death to be properly acknowledged. No, I don’t think it was too much to ask for). We got this beautiful found family arc between her, Jinx, and Sevika, only for it to be completely forgotten the moment Jinx reconciles with Vi.
BONUS 2: Jayce and Viktor were the perfect example of bromance. A friendship between two men can be gentle, affectionate, and loving without them being gay. No need for the ship, but I guess that’s the least of my worries.
BONUS 3: If anyone brings up the “beauty in imperfections” monologue to defend the ending, know that I’m not listening. They had such a beautiful show going for so long. Imperfections aren’t the problem here, it’s the plain disappointment.
EDIT BONUS 4: Singed out of all people getting a happy ending was so disrespectful. What a cockroach that man is. Nothing and no one can get rid of him.
Media literacy is important. Thanks for coming to my rant.
disclaimer: this isn’t me saying that the entire season was bad. But damn, do better.
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toto-the-cactus · 2 days ago
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Primarchs + Daughters (2)
Finally finished the damn part two. Been kinda busy here and there with my new job but lo and behold, the one yall asked for. Soon enough, yall find out why it took me a while writing this one for the two main guys I had to add here.
Part 1 - Part 2
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Konrad Curze
A’right, I’ll open this one with the fact we all know that this man shouldn’t even be legally allowed to have children. I’m gonna be real for a hot second and admit that I stared at the screen for HOURS not knowing what to write because any poor little girl that is born from this guy will have the dubious privilege of being the most sheltered and hidden secret the Primarch ever kept close. With all those visions of death and inevitable doom mixed with the sudden power rush that fatherhood gave him, it left in its wake a perfect storm for this lunatic to develop a paranoid and obsessive need (NEED) to keep his daughter safe; something hard to achieve when he already knows the essence of his Legion. His fatalistic nature regarding his own future would suddenly clash violently with the Primarch’s new found protective stance concerning his child. It's almost sad to consider that this poor man GENUINELY wished to avoid becoming the monster his visions showed, but knowing that he’ll be balancing in the thin line of one day hurting his precious girl (or worse than that) it'll put him in the hard decision of having to let go of her eventually. He is no Perturabo, for that matter. In the rare and far away moments of lucidity, I can see Konrad choosing to protect the innocence and life of his child by trusting in the last person ANYONE might expect the Night Hunter would seek help: Vulkan. Honestly this is just plain sad, man.
Sanguinius
This is it! The golden boy, yall! We all know the kind of person Sanguinius is, but add a precious little daughter in the equation and all you get is the perfect example of textbook girl dad. No matter how busy this man is, somehow he’ll squish some playtime with his baby and enjoy every bit of it. Seriously, this guy acting like a dedicated father is worth being in a stockphoto image. His baby girl asks him to play tea party? Some astartes will find their Primarch hunched over, awkwardly holding a comically small cup between his thumb and index while his precious princess pretends to pour more tea for herself. The daughter of Sanguinius doesn't go a single day without knowing that her papa loves her a lot and when the man isn’t around, the Blood Angels Legion are close to keep her company to the point that even she calls them ‘big brothers’. No one is safe when she wants to play dress-up. The single problem I see with Sanguinius when raising his little girl is that he sins of being completely oblivious to the more mortal side of his daughter’s needs. He easily gets so wrapped up in his role of The Perfect Angel that he doesn’t realize his tiny princess has boundaries that are being constantly crossed, but since she feels the need to prove that she can be like her father, endures all those problems and refuses to seek help about anything. It becomes a kind of toxic mix considering how much Sanguinius is loved and adored by others, to the point that his daughter becomes like a coveted gem too by relation, making her need to prove her own ‘perfection’ an unconscious action the older she grows. I’m not even gonna touch with a ten feet pole the “fun fact” called the Red Thirst on this one because, let's be fair, that would require for me to write more than 3 pages with ONLY Sanguinius and his daughter in the spotlight and that’s only assuming his baby girl didn’t inherit it. I specialized in visual arts and marketing, not psychology jfc.
Ferrus Manus
It took me a while but after some investigating and more reading I can safely put this man in between the Papa-tier and ‘tough love’ guys. His practical mentality and belief of the strongest are (oddly enough) healthily separated from his parenting skills. This is one of the few Primarch that can see their daughter as an individual of their own and makes sure to be as present as possible in her life but the loyalty of this man to the Emperor is his own flaw. Not in the case that he’ll choose the Imperium before his little girl, but because it’ll put him in the dreading and guilty notion that he’ll always prioritize his daughter despite his oath to serve for the Great Crusade. Most of his brothers (except maybe Jaghatai and Konrad) just assume or don’t even think about the long term future of their daughters or simply presume that they will become a great part of the Imperium’s well oiled structure. Not exactly their fault since they never grew up with anything resembling normal. On the brighter and wholesome side (whiplash change!), this is a man who finds handmade gifts more meaningful and always makes sure to explain the reason behind them mostly out of the enjoyment of watching his little princess look so amazed at her papa’s skills. More often than not, Ferrus’ belief of the strongest would falter a little as he perceives the true fragile nature of his daughter and, even if she share the resilient blood of a Primarch, that isn’t enough to convince him that she isn’t vulnerable but instead of letting the worry fester, he’ll try to teach the girl the art of fighting. That’s where the ‘tough love’ kind of guy I mentioned comes out to light. He will not spare kind words during those moments of teaching, as he wishes for his princess to prevail any difficulty but he’ll make sure to always end any sort of training with “I love you so much that the idea of one day not being there to protect you, pains me beyond any form” to make sure that his harsh actions have a reason behind. Honestly, it's the kind of father-daughter relationship that possesses so many shades that makes its own drama novel. Good thing that uncle Fulgrim is always there to smooth the hard edges that may come in the future and makes up for the lack of spoiling the little girl deserves. Ferrus is not amused by it. Forgot to mention that the Primarch will be even more motivated to take off the metal of his hands, for he has yet to truly feel the warm and soft flesh of his baby’s hand. It's the one feeling he keeps missing and craves so much.
Angron
Oh man, another of the hard ones. Okay, if I managed with Konrad, I can tackle this bitch too. You need to comprehend that we are talking about a guy that has been so intimate with the meaning of pain that it's amazing he’ll be capable of ranging through other emotions that don’t involve fury into that combo too. That being said, this whole shitshow of being the father of a young girl can only be described as sad AND tragic. First off, Angron’s daughter wouldn’t even be allowed to leave her chambers at The Conqueror for obvious safety reasons and having her stay on Terra can’t be an option too, as Angron would rather be death than leave in a silver plate this one single pittance of good he helped to create under the light of the Emperor. That being said, any little girl born from Angron would be terribly isolated and one can’t even blame the Primarch for that as he, despite his disposition, finds his daughter as a genuine reflection of what he could never ever dream to have or be. That sometimes results in him feeling short and spontaneous moments of anger from the impotence of not being able to be close to his daughter, let alone console her with anything resembling compassion. This is a man that is horribly aware that he’s away from one sharp stab of the Nails to his brain to end up killing his little girl in one single swat of his hand. The moments of anything resembling fatherly love are few and very tense, for Angron has to constantly be focused on not letting the pain control his actions and that always looks as if he’s dismissing his child’s love language or actions. What else can I say that most people don’t know already? This is just a sad story waiting to end in tragedy and had it not been for how Sanguinius ended during the heresy, I can see The Great Angel taking Angron’s daughter under his care as the only consolation and promise to his corrupted brother before his demise. After becoming a Daemon Prince, Angron’s only genuine and foggy memory of his little girl is her crying while calling him with heavy despair. Goddamn I almost tear up with this one.
Roboute Guilliman
Look at my big nerd! One of the few guys that actually is humble enough to feel more human than any of his brothers… sometimes. I gotta say it, Roboute has the vibe of what happens when someone incredibly autistic suddenly becomes a parent; expect lots of books to try and be prepared for what entails to take care of a mortal baby. He’ll have a wholeass strict routine of activities and diets that you AND the baby must follow to ensure both of your health along with “fun facts” regarding a toddler’s development that half of the time lack the keyword ‘fun’ in there. Honestly, Euten will be a BLESSING sent, for she’ll be the one railing back the most extreme attempts of her adoptive son to try and raise his little princess like she was just another task of paperwork. Over all his quirks, the Primarch of the Ultramarines is absolutely trying his hardest to be a good father just as the one that raised him, but this is a man that half of the time ends up clumsily trying to spend time with his little girl only for it to backfire as he simply doesn’t understand how to entertain his daughter. Good thing the child will simply be happy to spend time with her papa despite his weird personality. More often than not, some of the astartes will see the young lady at her father’s chambers in a little booster chair beside him, doodling on some papers to pretend that she’s a big girl helping her papa with his very important job. It's probably the most adorable sight anyone can ever get the chance to see. Just like most of his brothers, Roboute isn’t that good at expressing his love towards his daughter with words, so he simply let his little princess be on his lap and hug her as if it will be the last time.
Mortarion
I’ve written enough of this man being a father that you all can get a wild idea of how he will be when confronted with parenthood. Even if he believes himself to be undeserving of anything resembling happiness thanks to his perception of being nothing but a tool of the Emperor, this guy will only need to see his precious little flower and feel like everything in the world can be forgotten, including his ever festering negative emotions. His daughter is the single light of love that he selfilish believes is his right after such torturous upbringing although that mentality rarely affects his princess, as he simply shows nothing but care and tenderness towards her. He may be a nervous trainwreck, fully aware that his Legion and himself aren’t exactly safe-hazardous, but that never has stopped him from doing his utmost best to protect the little girl from anything that may hurt her. Like most of his traitorous brothers, Mortarion would not hesitate to bring entire worlds into devastation if it meant that his family can be safe, even if that’ll end up making a terrible gap to grow between him and those he loves. It's quite terrible and sad to know that, unlike Fulgrim or Angron, Mortarion was the closest to his daughter and showered her with as much genuine love as he could in an attempt to avoid being anything like his supposed father (adopted or creator equally), so when he turned into a Daemon Prince, the festering and rotting resentment that consumes him sometimes simmers down when he remembers the laugh of joy his little princess often released when he would carry her up in his arms. Oh yes, some good ol’ gut-wrenching emotional damage, teehee.
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I will not apologize for being a mean bitch by writing sad shit. XOXO
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accio-victuuri · 3 days ago
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不要回头
this discussion is due to the announcement that the MV dropping on 11/26 is called don’t look back. let’s start with why this is relevant to xiao zhan. one that immediately comes to mind was his instagram post before where he used the caption: “don’t look back, forever”. a bit of context, this was the time in 2019 when he was having problems with WJJW’s management of his career. a week after this post, he took WJJW to court. so it may be safe to say that the message was moving forward and leaving WJJW behind.
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this has been a recurrent theme with XZ, as he so eloquently explained in one of his interviews: “I feel that everyone should not live in the past. But you need to summarize your past, the areas you did not do well, take responsibility and move forward.” not looking back— meaning to live with no regrets. to run towards your future, which is why it makes sense that he likes to do the chongya pose. that’s just who xz is. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ he doesn’t sit and wallow in misery about what happened before. he doesn’t hold grudges. no matter how his fans misinterpret his messaging, it has always been very clear to me. move on. make peace.
we can actually see this mindset between xz and wyb and why ( i think ) they get along so well. considering the life they have, it’s not healthy to live in the past and miss the moment now.
for their bdays this year, both their studios talked about regrets and moving forward.
XZS: The road ahead is always like this. I hope you can have fun without regrets.
YBO: …. along the way, accept imperfection, allow regrets, the mountains are high and the seas are vast, and please move forward boldly.
here are some other similarities with this theme:
XZ: i will believe in my choice and don’t regret it. just go all out and do it.
WYB: I just want to do things according to my beliefs and never regret it.
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XZ interview
Q: Suppose if there is a chance to go back to the past. Which stage do you most want to return to?
XZ: i’m not going back
WYB interview
he was asked pretty much a similar question, if he can choose to travel back to an age in his life. what would he choose?
WYB: I don’t want to go back
also this classic one from WYB. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
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this one is a personal favorite of mine when he was doing interview for where dreams begin:
XZ: Although life is likely to be unsatisfactory, I think as long as you persist in your heart and work hard to move forward, It will definitely be fine. This is something I insist on, don’t look back, believe in the future and the light is always ahead.
and there are alot more. i think that those of us who have been in tune with them already knows all of this. it’s the way they both are. i feel like this is also why they are successful in their careers. 🫶🏼
lastly is the significance of them singing white windmill during filming. at this time, xz told wyb— wyb, don’t look back.
Tho i’m pretty sure the song/mv title Don’t Look Back is about XZ’s personal journey — the similarity with WYB is just added in here cause we are clowns. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
-END.
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bubblegumgothglados · 2 days ago
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I’m really interested in your thoughts on punishment - I always find it so hard to describe the way I want pain, because I want it to feel like a consequence in a way that the term “funishment” doesn’t quite capture for me. But at the same time, I agree that the “punishment” should never be a real way of modifying behaviour when a dom is legitimately upset, because that’s not healthy.
Maybe it’s a problem with the terminology, but I always think that it’s like the difference between a cheesy Halloween flick, a horror movie, and then something actually dangerous happening. The first is a little tame, the third is undesirable, but the second is an ideal middle ground for a lot of people. No idea if any of this makes sense, but I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!
Interesting
I'm against punishment. To be more clear on that point, no one should ever have something done to them that they don't enjoy because they broke a rule or were "naughty" or whatever even if they consent to it. No one deserves to be punished. (Outside of kink too, talk to me about prison abolishment, defunding the police, and the flaws of a punitive justice system)
So my first instinct is to say, are you sure? Have you examined where this desire to feel like pain is a consequence? Do you need to unlearn some amount of guilt about wanting to be hurt? If you've done the work and you legitimately just want pain to be a consequence then great, I love that for you.
My nest suggestion would be bratting, find someone who enjoys being riled up and negotiate what you want and what they want, and then goad them into hurting you. The pain will be a consequence of your actions even if you both know it's just for fun.
Lastly, yeah, it might just be phrasing. Much like "snuff" or "CNC" feels less fun to me than "murder" and "rape"; " funishment is just a little but silly. Calling it a punishment scene might help set the tone that you want.
Thanks for asking, I hope this has been helpful
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mysticaltora8276 · 3 days ago
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Small problem with that. Amy Pond wasn’t special. She only had a crack in her home which made her special but she herself wasn’t special. Clara was literally touted as you know seemingly normal and just ordinary. Bill was also ordinary. Rose? Let’s see she is the bad wolf and literally a goddess. Donna is called the most important woman in all of creation. I don’t even get me started about Martha. Martha was abused by the writing staff, and it did not help the fact that they just didn’t seem to know what to do with a person of color. And it made the Doctor look like an insufferable jerk.
Yeah, Moffat does a better job at showing companions that are pretty normal. Save for some that have mental problems. Russell is better at drama, which is fine although I do think the sometimes leans up a little bit too hard into the drama. It becomes soap opera mill dramatic, which annoys me. Let’s just say I’m not a fan of that. I like him when they remember that this is a sci-fi show that can go anywhere in any win. I do not need the drama of. He said she said and love triangles. I don’t care if I wanna watch that I’ll watch a supernatural thing with a local vampire or something like Buffy.
I say this as someone who stopped watching after Capaldi so I can't say anything about after that but the reason why I prefer the RTD seasons to the Moffat seasons btw is that Moffat is incapable of writing a main companion who wasn't special - everyone had to have something particular or unusual about them, Amy was the girl who waited for the Doctor, Rory was the closest we got to this but he was literally plastic, don't get me started on River Song, and Clara was the impossible girl from the start. I've seen people (beloved mutuals but I can't quite remember which ones so if you're reading this ily I'm not vagueposting on purpose) say that Moffat valued mundanity more than RTD but his companion backstories refute that. Whereas Rose, Martha (Martha especially my darling Martha she didn't get any magic or space science she was just so incredibly brave and clever and kind, Martha who was mistreated by the writers and yet still is this stunning representation of look this is what ordinary people can do! This is how good they can be!), Donna, they're extraordinary in their ordinariness, and that's really emphasised and I like it so much more. I prefer how Moffat handled the doctor himself (but to a large part that might be I prefer how 12 was handled overall), but in terms of companions the first four seasons were the best to me because they really dug into how companions aren't special, they're people like you.
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peoniesnro · 1 day ago
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In Another Universe
#11. Jeon Jungkook
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Synopsis – When you are just another iteration of Park Jimin’s girlfriend in a different universe.
Park Jimin × Reader
Genre – parallel universe / kind of fantasy/ strangers to ??/ SMUT/ maybe romance/ angst/ fluff /Infidelity
Warnings- Language/SMUT- Making out/ Dirty talks/ Some public stuff (well you know)/ Unportected sex/ Mirror sex/ Cumming inside/ Hotel room sex/ Rough sex/ Spanking/ Word 'slut' and 'whore'/ Multiple orgasms (f.recieving)/Foot kink!!!!!! (I don't know if I've missed any)/ Angst / INFIDELITY
Word count- 18k
a/n- Should I try to wrap it up with 16 chapters or should I make it 20? (Thank you for reading like always. Lv u all❤️)
Taglist?
Chapter Index
Previous - Next
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“You hired her?”
Jimin nearly spills the milk he has been pouring into the bowl of cereal at the loud and sudden voice of Liya. It is with a bit of struggle that he manages to hold it steady. A sigh leaves his lips. He closes his eyes trying to compose himself before he turns around to face his girlfriend. Slowly. As if she doesn’t startle him at all. Jimin’s eyes land on Liya. Taking her presence in. She looks more than angry. Expression incredulous.
“What?” He asks softly. Voice calm and collected. It’s not that he doesn’t know. He knows very well who she is referring to. What she’s referring to. Honestly, he’s a bit surprised that it took this long for this question to come front. He expected Liya to storm toward him and ask this question the very next day you started working for his company. It seems like Emi was slow at reporting that. Yet he doesn’t want to look like he expected this. So, he keeps staring at her with emotionless eyes.
“You know what I mean Jimin.” Liya takes a step forward. “Are you serious? What were you thinking─”
“I didn’t hire her. Hoseok did.” Jimin interrupts her blustering. He’s tired of this. Simply doesn’t think Liya should be interfering with his business. She normally doesn’t do that. They don’t poke their noses in each other’s work. Yet, there are times like this. Like when Jimin flat-out refused to offer the CMO post to Liya’s cousin. Like when Jimin refused to become a subsidiary of the Kim group. There were such instances where Liya thought she has the right to tell him what to do or not. Always ended up in a huge fight, however. Jimin knows this is going to be another one. He’s certain when Liya sneers.
“Yeah? Like that? He can do whatever he wants?”
“Yes.”
Another loud scoff.
“What’s that make your company? Anyone can do anything? Is your company a circus?”
“Yes. And that shouldn’t be any of your concerns Liya. Stay out of it. And Hoseok isn’t just anybody. He’s the CMO and a damn co-owner.”
“As if he has done anything to earn it.”
Jimin feels something explode within him. His entire vision turning red instantly. Liya always does this. There was a time where Jimin bore with it. Just listened to her without arguing back. And he feels fucking guilty for doing that. Not anymore, though. No. One day and one moment he decided to fight back. Jimin closes the distance between them in one long step. Fire burning in his eyes.
“Take that fucking back.” Gritts through his clenched teeth. Stares her down.  Liya takes a step back. Her expression still furious. Eyes never leaving Jimin’s. He just knows she isn’t going to do that. She never does.
“I’m feeling so sorry for you Jimin. You really are gonna lose all the shits you’ve worked hard for. All because you trust your stupid friends too much─”
“Kim fucking Liya!” Jimin surprises himself at how loud he shouts. Liya winces visibly, involuntarily taking another step back. A gasp leaving her mouth. “Just listen to me this time because I’m already fucking tired of telling you this. I would be no one without them. You have a problem with them? Then you should stay out of my business. You have your own to worry about. Let me decide whether I want to lose what I’ve worked for or build something more. Just stay the fuck away Liya.” Jimin almost turns around with that to his cereal which is probably soggy now, when Liya chuckles. Shakes her head slightly.
“Well, you want me to stay away from the business. I will.” She takes the two steps she took back, forward again. Tilting her head upward to take a good look at Jimin. “Let’s see where you go. Let’s see how long it’ll take you to ask help from me again. And you should listen to me too Jimin. You’re my fucking boyfriend. Soon to be fiancé. And if you think we’re still in college and have the freedom to do whatever we want, you’re wrong. The whole country─” She grits her teeth. “The entire damn business world knows we are dating. One single mistake would cause the downfall for both of us. In that case, I don’t think having my twin sister- that nobody ever knew about- close is a wise idea. People have eyes Jimin. And so do they talk. Maybe you don’t care about losing all your hard work for good-for-nothing friends, but I do. I will not just watch Hoseok, and that woman ruin my life. If I was you, I would make sure she is out of my sight before, she’s not going to be able to work because of that pain.”
With that Liya turns around in her heels. Storms away. Leaving a raging Jimin behind. Jimin doesn’t even realize he’s grinding his teeth together to dust. Doesn’t even realize that his jaw aches. That his fists are curled so tight that he might be hurting himself.
Was that a threat?
Did she fucking threaten him?
It is completely unintentional how he slams his bunched-up fist into the kitchen counter. Doesn’t feel the pain for fractured second. Then there it comes. Almost unbearable. Makes him screw his eyes shut and groans. Still, though, it feels good. There’s rage inside him that can cause him to murder someone. Well, it’s not like he can hit a woman. This way’s better. Jimin grips the counter with his both hands. Tightly. Trying to calm down. Trying to think rationally and see clearer through the red that has covered his sight.
It's fine.  It’s just fine.
It’s not like Liya can actually do anything about this situation. She’s talking since she’s mad. Jimin knows that it’s not jealousy. No. Liya is simply worried about that damn reputation. It’s not like there’s anything really happening for people to talk. He hasn’t even got a chance to be with you properly to be honest. Not after that day after you walked to him. It was the first and last till now. Hoseok is a little shit who has made sure you barely get any alone time these days. Jimin wasn’t very shocked when you told him that Hoseok knows. He kind of knew something was up with his friend. Neither of you knew what’s his friend’s intentions were clearly. But in the end, it didn’t matter. Hoseok never brought the topic up with Jimin. And so Jimin did what he’s best at. You both did. Pretending. Pretending like there’s nothing wrong. Pretending like Hoseok doesn’t know of your secret. It was easier that way. And life was going so damn well.
Even though he didn’t really get a chance to be with you, in any sexual way, life had been so damn good for him. He loves all the small but precious moments with you. Knows it’s not normal to crave your presence when it isn’t sexual at all. Yet he can’t help it. All the times you would bring his coffee. Tells him how Hoseok is a little piece of shit to make you sit for three hours with Jin. Tells him about your day. He finds it invaluable. All the time you would walk past each other down a hallway. Every time you would catch his eyes when you do. The small smile tugs on your lips when you see him. Jimin finds them coveted. Every sneaky and risky kiss you shared. Your smell and soft voice. He finds them treasured. See, life is good. So good for him after a long time. For years it has been just pressure of earning money and balancing a relationship. Now he feels carefree. And he does not wish to trade that feeling.
No. He wants to delve into this feeling. Wants to feel this flutter in his stomach as long as he can. You’re too precious to let go. Not again. It was pure torture. He’s really at peace with the fact that he’s an asshole. That he’s a selfish prick. That he’s cheating. It’s fine. It’s really fine as long as he has you. He isn’t going to let anyone, not even Liya, steal that from him. True, that he might be a coward for not being able to put an end to this strained relationship, but he’s not going to sit and watch you go. He would like to see Liya try.
Oh, hell yeah, he would.
…………………………………………..
Jungkook straightens up from the wall he’s been leaning on. Rolls his stiff neck after staring in the same direction for exactly twenty minutes. Yes, he has been counting. He feels uneasy. You’re late today; you usually arrive hours earlier. He doesn’t like the idea of you coming home alone. But you insisted. You can be really stubborn when you want to. Nothing he ever said to persuade you or to convince you that it’s not trouble for him to pick you up, has worked. You had apparently decided you want to be that bad independent bitch the moment you received your paycheck.
This is the third day you are coming home alone. And so, this is the third day Jungkook is leaning against the wall next to his apartment door. Hoping to hear the creak of the third step of the staircase soon. It’s not that he really wanted to be this worried and act like a stressed dad. It’s simply that he can’t help it. He can’t help but be worried. Jungkook naturally is a person that thinks too much about other people that it often tends to backfire. People would always use his kindness. He still does it, however. Care. The thing is though, it’s not just that caring he feels toward you. At first, it was just that. Then after you started to share his apartment, it has turned into something more.
Oh, how he is so accustomed to your presence. How he likes it. To have you lounging on his couch in the evening, scrolling through your phone and snorting. Showing him the memes that’s not hilarious at all, yet he laughs anyway. To use the shower after you, only to scream at how hot the water is. You don’t listen when he complains. You say it’s the perfect temperature. To have you saunter around his kitchen. Teaching him how to properly crack an egg. You would always end up with a piece of shell on your omelet. To have movie nights just to talk through it and to have no idea what the movie was about. To have your scent. Your clothes. Your belongings scattered around. How he doesn’t want to lose it.
He won’t say he likes you. And he won’t say he doesn’t like you either. You certainly caught his eye the first day he saw you. But then he thought you were off limit. Thought you were Park Jimin’s woman. Then here you are. After everything, you are with him. Jeon Jungkook. And he’s slowly starting to become attached. That much is certain. Jungkook can’t even imagine how it would be to have you moved away from his place. He would miss your dearly. Maybe if he budge you enough, you’ll change your mind. You’ll decide you can share his space, as long as you want.
The long-awaited creaking sound is what causes Jungkook to snap out of his reverie. Perking up right at the moment to find you turning the corner of the staircase. Panting slightly. Your eyes instantly land on him. A bright smile breaking across your face upon seeing him. Well, Jungkook can’t control the way his own lips stretched wide. Can’t control how he spreads his arms. Can’t definitely control the way his heart skips a beat when you throw yourself into his arms. Maybe he’s so wrong. He should say he likes you.
“You’re late Noona.”
“A woman had me dog sitting.” You whine adorably. Oh, so fucking adorably. Jungkook snorts all the while squeezing you in his arms.
“Yeah, how’s that happen?”
“Just happened. You know how my life is. I couldn’t say no.”
Of course he knows. “You need to learn how to say no. You can start practicing by saying No to your annoying boss.”
It’s your time to snort. You’ll always insist that Hoseok isn’t annoying your ass all the time. But that’s what the bugger is doing. He overworks you. Yet, you’re more than happy to work for him. See now, Jungkook was wondering what the reason might be. You were so stressed when you first started working for Hoseok. Jungkook really had thought you would quit. You didn’t. You stuck to it. He thought you were sticking to the money at first. But after these few weeks. As you’re visibly elated, Jungkook thinks that’s not the case at all. No. There’s something else. And he’s afraid to know what it is. Because he is getting attached.
He is attached.
He ignores whatever you’re saying to his advice. Simply starts to walk backward with you still in his arms. Swaying you left and right. Ignores your whines as well. Maybe… Just maybe all he has to do is hurry up. Hurry up before someone who doesn’t deserve you start to play you. And Jungkook has a strong feeling that someone would be the CEO of your company. You’ve shared a history together after all. A history where Jungkook didn’t exist. He feels a twinge of jealousy, but above everything he feels worried. If the reason behind your adorable smile these days, is the person Jungkook thinks who he is. Then he should hurry up. Because Park Jimin will ruin you. Oh, he will. For a fact, Jungkook knows that guy wasn’t jealous of Jungkook over Liya. Park Jimin was jealous of him over you.
The end of Jimin’s game would leave you hurt and alone. And Jungkook is too attached to you to let that happen.
Maybe he should hurry up.
……………………..
You reluctantly let Jimin pull away from your lips. He’s panting hard. Gaze dark and fixed on your lips. You’re once again seated at his office desk. Enjoying a rare moment of solitude. Hoseok being in a meeting and Emi is out for some tasks which Jimin has deliberately assigned to her. You have no idea where Jin or Taehyung is. You don’t care either. All that matters is Park Jimin. The way he hungrily sucks on your lips again. His hands roaming over your sides. The way he pulls away a bit to trail his lips over your jaw and neck.
“Jimin…” You purr gently. He just hums in answer without detaching his lips from your neck. “We really can’t.” You pull him even closer despite your words. You’re having a moment after a long time, yes. Yet, that doesn’t make it less risky. It’s still early morning. You can’t have all your makeup ruined. People will definitely know you’ve gotten fucked. Can’t disheveled Jimin’s hair. This moment is precious, yes. Yet, you can’t afford to fuck in this moment.
“Why not?” Jimin whines in your ear.
“Emi would be here any minute.”
“So what? She’s not gonna come inside.”
“We’re definitely not fucking while your secretary is waiting outside.”
You gently show him away. He doesn’t even budge. Just presses himself more into you. Grabs from your thighs to pull you closer. “C’mon Lil, I’m fucking… ugh…” His words die down as he’s back to suck on the delicate skin of your neck. Rational thoughts are slipping through your brain. Heart erratically beating and you’re already starting to sweat. It’s too hot in Jimin’s air-conditioned office room. But you want to press yourself more into him. You know what he tried to say. You’re feeling the same. Desperate. Touch starved. Jimin’s touch. You can’t though. Not now.
“You should take me somewhere else, seriously.” You angle your head so he can suck on your neck some more. Wraps your legs around his waist to lock him in place. Jimin squeezes the flesh in your hips in response. Mutters against your skin.
“It’s not my fault your boss is an asshole and makes you work, day and night straight.” Jimin grinds his hips on to you. Creating a heavenly friction between your thighs. Gets you gasping.  You try to suppress the sounds.
“Ha, like his friend! Oh, fuck Jimin…” You buck your hips into his. Can feel the evident bulge rubbing against your clothed core. “But seriously, not now. What if Jin or Tae barged in. Those morons don’t know anything about knocking.” You try again.
“You feel good though.” Jimin grinds even harder. “I can make you cum in just three minutes hm?” Stops the ministrations on your skin just to peck your lips. Keeps his face there while he stare into your eyes. With his dark and hooded ones. Oh, how tempting. How good it’ll be to have him pound into you on this same desk as the last time. Then how much chaos would it cause if anyone is to walk in.
“No. Not now” You manage to push him away this time. Stll, so gentle. Jimin takes a step away from you. Making you instantly miss his warmth. It’s a struggle not to hold him with your legs. He pouts. Cute. Takes another step away. You’re pouting too.
“You’re mean.” Plops back into his chair. You’re both still panting and breathless. You give him a soft smile, ready to get down from the table when Jimin stops you. Just drags his chair closer to you. “Don’t leave yet.” Presses a gentle kiss to your knee. Another moan sips past your trembling lips.
“Jimin.” Your voice turns stern now. He doesn’t care. Gifts you with another kiss. Then another. And just as you’re thinking he’s about to guide his mouth upward he draws back.
“I’m not trying anything funny baby. Just can’t help myself.” Looks at you with his eyes glinting. Startles you a bit when he suddenly grabs from your ankle. You gasp. Trail of protests spill from your mouth when he lifts your foot to rest on his thigh. Not caring about the fact that you’re still wearing your heels.
“J-Jimin, you gonna get dirt on your clothes.” You try to free your foot when he gently starts to massage your ankle. His thumb circling gently.
“Don’t care. Have I told you that you have pretty legs.” He slides his hand toward your calf. Keep massaging. His touch is gentle. Yet it feels like burning your skin. Presses another kiss. This time inclined a bit inward your knee. You look down at him while your head is spinning. Arousals shooting downward through your body. Pooling inside your underwear. Yet you can’t find it in yourself to stop him again. You’re on the verge of giving up. How much of an effect he has on you. How your heart is fluttering and swelling at the sight of him. Isn’t he worshiping you? Why would he do that? Why does he look like he’s so smitten? Why do you like this feeling?
“Oh, you have a foot kink?” You mumble softly. Wanting to distract yourself from the tingling sensation on your heart. Jimin snorts. It’s not that you tried to get him to stop but that’s what happens. He stops his actions altogether. Holds his hand out for you. You accept it. Cluelessly allowing him to drag you forward. Not down to the floor, however. But to his lap. Straddling. Stare into his brown orbs which are now glinting with amusement when he pecks your lips.
“What if I do.” Jimin teases. Eyes sparkling. Is muttering against your lips causing to intensify that tingling sensation. Your heart is about to leap away. Explode. You balance yourself by circling your arms over his neck. Are refusing to feel this way alone. Want Jimin to join you. So, you brush your lips against his.
“Then I’d want to give you a foot job.” Whisper. Jimin’s hands around you tightens immediately. That glint in his eyes replaced by a dark haze as you watch. He shivers visibly.
“Fuck Lil.” Groans as squashing you against his chest. “Are you sure you can’t keep my cock warm for five fucking minutes.” Mumbles. You give him a look. Make him whine. “Okay, then three minutes.” You don’t change the look in your face. “Two.” You raise your brow. “One. Fuck baby. I need something.” He kisses you hard.
“Gosh you really do have a foot kink, don’t you?” You kiss him back the moment he pulls away. Jimin lets out an adorable noise.
“I think I have lot of kinks when it comes to you.” Says as you hide your face in his neck. Makes you giggle.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm… you’re so good.” Rubs your back. “Feels so good. Let’s just stay like this.” Holds you tight. Gets you shrieking when he spins his chair. Making you both do a playful swirl.
“Jimin.” You draw back just to hit his arm. How you’ve become comfortable around each other. Comfortable enough that you can mess around like this. His eyes are back to sparkling. Oh, how you love them. Those eyes and the glint. Makes you feel alive. Makes you forget how sordid your relationship is. When you’re with him, it’s just you two in the world. In these kinds of moments, he isn’t a man who has a girlfriend. He is just Park Jimin. And as weird as it sounds, he is your Park Jimin.
“Don’t nag.” Jimin interrupts you even before you start speaking. You close your mouth. Click your tongue.
“I wasn’t going to nag.” Yes, you were. Jimin laughs. Showers you with tiny kisses yet again. Opens his mouth to say something only to close back instantly and jump slightly when the intercom rings. You withdraw from him at light speed. Hell, you haven’t heard Emi returning. Not that it’s possible to hear much through the thick walls and heavy door. Yet, you always manage to know she is there beforehand. It seems you were extra busy today. Too engrossed in each other. You are about to get off from his lap when Jimin responds to his secretary.
“Yes.” He asks in that stern tone.
“Ms. Kim─” That’s all she gets to say before you hear a second voice echoes through the receiver.
“Oh, you don’t have to inform him, if he isn’t with someone.”
And that’s the only warning you get. That’s the only second you get to react before the door handle is twisting. It’s almost comical how fast you act. Nearly break your neck at the speed you get off from Jimin. Stumble a little. Catching yourself right at the time and grabbing the cup of coffee on the table when the door pushes open. Jimin drags the chair close to the table as you catch sight of the person entering the room. Freezing in the doorway.
You can feel your heart pound in your throat. You force yourself to look away from the woman who just entered the office. To act normal. To show her a polite smile and bow. In the way an employee would do to her employer’s girlfriend. Yet all you can do is push the coffee cup toward Jimin with a shaky hand. Jimin mumbles you a strained ‘thank you’. Compared to you Jimin looks fairly fine. Composed. Not at all like a man who nearly got caught by his girlfriend. Still, he looks uncomfortable. And a little flushed. All you can hope is that Liya wouldn’t pick up the obvious tension. Your efforts to turn around and leave, however, instantly becomes null when Liya speaks and closes the door behind. Rudely in the face of poor Emi. 
“What are you doing here?” Liya doesn’t beat around the bush it seems. You feel your blood drains out of your body. A cold sweat starts to break down your spine. Mouth suddenly dry that you don’t think you’ll be able to talk even if you have an answer.
“She’s bringing me my coffee, Liya, you can’t see that?” Jimin’s calm voice saves you from your misery. You turn your head slightly to find him looking directly at Liya. How is he doing that? You feel like fainting. Doesn’t he feel fucked up like you? Is this normal for him? Then your gaze shifts from his face to his hands. The way he is clenching them. Then his legs. Is bouncing his left leg like crazy. Oh, he’s feeling all the messy sensations like you do. It’s just that he’s better at hiding. Liya scoffs. Takes your attention back to her.
“Why would she do that now? Thought she is Hoseok’s assistant.” Raises her brow.
“She is.” Jimin answers as if there’s nothing wrong at all.
“Then why on earth is she bringing you, coffee? You have Emi for that.” You can’t help but recoil a bit when she walks forward. How intimidating she is. Her gaze flickers from Jimin to you. “I thought we had a deal sister. Thought you are working on finding a way to stop this. Not following my boyfriend like a needy little thing. You can’t live without him?”
“Liya!” Jimin’s voice booms across the room. Even you wince slightly.
“What?” She snaps. Head whipping toward Jimin. Oh, this is awkward. Uncomfortable. You need to leave. Jimin doesn’t answer her. Instead turns to you.
“You can leave.” Says gently yet professionally. You’re glad. See now, you know you’re not in a position to feel angry. You’re very wrong here. Yet, it’s not a pleasant feeling to have someone talk down on you. Belittle you and clearly insinuate that you’re a slut. Maybe you are. But you don’t like to be reminded. You want to escape. Hence, your eager nod and bow. Take another step forward to leave when Liya stops you again.
“No wait.” She steps in front of you. “Listen, I don’t care if you’re sucking Hoseok’s cock for this job─”
“That’s enough Liya!”  You can hear Jimin’s chair scrape the floor as he gets to his feet. Liya doesn’t listen to him, however.
“─ just stay out from our life, will you? Do you have any idea how this might look in people’s eyes. Do you know what Emi might think to see you spend your time─”
“For fucks sake Liya, that’s fucking enough.” Jimin walks past you so fast that you don’t even realize he has walked to Liya until he’s harshly yanking from her forearm. Turns to you. “Leave.” That’s a demand. His voice is stern. Not that you need to tell twice. You take your opportunity. Storm away gratefully. Not bothering to listen to what Jimin says to Liya next. Not even waiting to acknowledge the look Emi gives you.
………………………………………….
It takes you a fair amount of time to compose yourself after the incident. Hell, you were so damn scared. It was a close call. For a fact you know Liya has no clue that Jimin and you are really going on at it. She was a bitch to you ever since the day you met. She simply wants you out of her hair. Maybe she’s suspicious. Maybe she’s afraid of the possibilities. But that’s all. She’s just being rude without knowing the truth. And what would have happened if you’d been a split second too late to get off Jimin’s lap? Even the thought alone makes you tremble.
You don’t know what Liya will do. You have no idea how she’ll manage to take your identity away from you. And that’s not your main concern anyway. Your main concern is what problems it’ll cause to Jimin. Your concern is about the next steps Jimin will take. He clearly told you he can’t just break up with Liya. That means only one thing, you’ll be the one he would give up. And that makes your knees buckle. Makes it hard to breathe. Fuck, how you’ve gotten yourself deeply tangled in the web Jimin has woven. You know you can’t let him go. No, you can’t let this go. You need him. Even the thought of it makes you feel void. Makes your heart ache. So, you’re relieved that you managed to avoid it. Avoid getting caught. That you can keep going. Yes, you feel guilty. Of course you do. You simply know that you’re the villain in this story. The bad bitch who came to ruin a perfect relationship. Well, you’re fine being that bitch.
All you need is Jimin.
You gulp down the guilt you feel. Anxiously placing down the bundle of files Jin made you take to Hoseok. Nearly drops them when you feel your phone vibrates in your pant pocket.
“What the fuck is this?” Hoseok questions as he grabs a one to inspect. You ignore his question since you’re hastily pulling your phone out. Unlocking it in record time. Inhaling a sharp breath and holding it when you see it’s indeed Jimin who has texted you.
Meet me in the screening room. Is what the text reads. Relief flooded you. This means everything is apparently, fine. You’re safe.
“Do you have a screening room here?”
“What on the fucking hell does Jin want me to do with these?”
You and Hoseok ask each other at the same time. It’s his question that gets ignored, however.
“Yes, why?” He answers your question. Brows furrowed in curiosity.
“Can you show me it?” You yet again ignores his question in favor of getting what you need.
“I can but you have to tell me why?”
“I got an- uh- invitation to visit there…” You hide your annoyance. There’s no time to start silly fights with your boss. Hoseok’s curious face immediately morphs into a playful one. A smirk appears on his pink lips.
“You did?” Chuckles. “That’s nice but I think I saw Liya here few minutes ago.” Leans forward in his desk. Looks damn cocky. You don’t wish to answer that, so he keep going on. “You might need to watch your back Li.” Bites on his bottom lip. You roll your eyes. It’s a one thing to commit a sin. But it’s completely different thing to talk about it as it’s nothing. That’s worse.
“You’re such an asshole, Hoseok.” You say grimacing.
“So, who’s worse? You or me?” He asks nonchalantly. You have no answer for that. Hoseok waits patiently for a minute before realizing you’re not going to answer it. “C’mon let’s go, I need to find Jin as well.” Gets to his feet. You say nothing as you slowly start to follow him. He only takes one step, however, before he stops again and face you. “But seriously Li, watch your back. I don’t want Jimin to die. I want him to live long enough to realize all he has to do is put an end to it.”
“End to what?”
“To anything that makes him unhappy.”
……………………………………
“Why would you need a fucking movie theater in your company?” You ask while staring into the large LED display. Standing next to a comfortable- looking leather chair and under the dim yellowish lighting of the screening room of RUN.
“For a lot of things, actually.” Jimin answers as he wraps his arms around you. From behind. Pulling your back into his chest. You snuggle against him immediately. Let your head fall into his chest. Grinning widely when he starts to sway you from side to side.
“Like what? Couples having movie nights on Valentine Day?” You snorts.
“Valen- what?” Jimin huskily questions in your ear as you gasp loudly. Pulling away from his embrace hurriedly. Turning around to look at him with disbelief.
“Are you saying that there’s no valentine day here?” Another gasp. Jimin looks endearingly confused.
“Are we supposed to have one?” He looks around the screening room. As if you’re talking about something he should have in here. You chuckle.
“Valentine means the day of lovers. We celebrate it on fourteenth Feb.” You explain softly. It’s Jimin’s time to gasp now.
“Why would you need a day for that?” Scrunches up his nose. “You have such a day in your world?” Tilts his head toward you. You hum in response before pecking his lips.
“You’re missing out. But that doesn't matter. Tell me why we’re here.”
Jimin’s incredulous expression turns into a cunning smile. “You told me I should take you somewhere.” Places his hands on your waist. Rests his forehead against yours.
“Yeah, somewhere private so we can─”
“This place is private. No one’s ever gonna come─”
“Park Jimin.” You almost push him away when he pulls you flat against him. Apparently, don’t give a fuck about the risks. Not even after what happened earlier. “We can’t you stupid. Did Liya even leave? We almost got caught─”
Jimin shuts you up with a lewd kiss. “She did.” Answers when he finally pulls away. You sigh heavily.
“So, everything went well?”
“It did. Nothing you should worry about Spring Roll. Trust me hm?”
That’s what you do always. Trust him. You won’t lie, you’re sometime curious to know what’s happening in his life. Then you think it’s not your place. You shouldn’t get more closer to him than you’re now. So, you just nod. It looks like you would have to give up. And that’s exactly what you’re about to do when the sudden sound of door opening reaches you. Followed by voices. Jimin’s reaction is entirely unconscious. Like a reflex. One moment you were standing near the isle seats. Then in the next you are pressed into his chest, fully concealed by a curtain. Both froze in the action.  
“I’m pretty sure he went to the café.”  You undoubtedly recognize Hoseok’s voice. Have listened to it too many times to be uncertain. You tilt your head upward to take good look at Jimin’s face. He has his arms firmly draped around you. Isn’t looking at you. His eyes are closed. You can feel his heartbeat.
Fuck! That was another close call.
No. It wasn’t a close call. It’s not over yet. Hoseok is with someone for sure.
“No man, I’m telling you he headed this way.” That voice is Taehyung’s. It’s fine if it’s those two. You can come up with a good excuse. Not that you need excuses when it comes to Hoseok anyway. But then there comes a third voice.
“Oh my god! This is ridiculous. What am I gonna say to my father? That my boyfriend, the CEO of this company has vanished into thin air all of a sudden?”
And your blood freezes for second time. Jimin’s eyes shoot open at the voice too. Hasn’t he told you she left. Jimin shakes his head gently, as if he read your mind. You give him a look of disbelief. How absurd that you’re hiding behind a curtain like this. Your attention is drawn back to the conversation when you hear Hoseok scoffs.
“Listen Ms. Kim, I don’t think Jimin is obliged to meet your dad. He’s the fucking CEO of this company and he can go anywhere he wants.”
You have no idea how Liya might look like now. You hear her scoff as well though.
“Oh yeah, he is, Mr. Jung. In case if you guys have forgotten, let me─”
“Okay guys, Jimin isn’t here so why don’t we go and look for him elsewhere?” Taehyung is the one who interrupts Liya’s words.
“No... No, let her finish Tae. Surely, we’ve forgotten.” Malice in Hoseok’s voice is quite evident. You’ve always wondered what his problem with Liya is.  Why so hostile toward her. Yet this is not the time to find out. Not when you feel like melting into a puddle at your feet. Heart beating mad. The dread of getting caught makes your eyes water and your head throb. This is not the right time to find out what causes other people’s problems. You know Jimin feels the same if the way he’s squeezing you is anything to go by.
You need to get out of here. Or Hoseok needs to take Liya out from here. The way he has started to argue with Taehyung and the way he is provoking Liya, however, makes you realize the latter won’t be happening soon. Hoseok is an idiot in addition to being a little shit. Maybe he thinks you’ve left already. Whatever the reason might be, them staying longer here bring you and Jimin to get caught in your lie sooner. Red handed. No. That can’t be happening. You don’t want to lose Jimin just as you found him. No. You need to escape.
You frantically start to look around. In a desperate search for a way you can get out of this absurd situation. Your mind running mile a minute. Taking in everything around you when your eyes land on the door couple of steps ahead of you and to your left. Fire Exit. You feel a rush of relief and new wave of apprehension shoots through your body. If you can get to the fire exit, you’re free of this situation. But the problem is that there’s no way you can reach there without uncovering yourself from this curtain. You take a moment. Trying to calm your racing heart down so you can hear the conversation happening inside the room.
“Oh, c’mon Hobba, stop it will you?” Taehyung is still whining.
“You’re an ungrateful shit Jung. You’ve no idea what my father did to make this place a reality.” Liya is still arguing. You can feel Jimin tensing. You don’t know what they are talking about but clearly Liya is insulting Hoseok. You don’t wait to listen to what Hoseok says in reply to that. Whatever he is saying, that conversation or fight isn’t going to end soon. So, you simply bring Jimin’s attention to you by tugging from his coat. Wait till he looks at you before gesturing to the door with your head. Jimin looks to the direction where you’re showing. Picking up what you’re insinuating quickly. Eyes going wide before he’s shaking his head. You don’t pay any mind to that. Take the risk of poking your head out. Jimin is too late when he hiss quietly. You are already looking at the three people near the door.
They’re at the far end of the room, with Liya’s back to you. Taehyung is to her side while Hoseok will be the only one to notice you if you reveal yourself. And you trust him to keep it shut in case he sees you. That’s what you think. Or guess. Or pray. Maybe this is a stupid idea. Maybe you should’ve stayed until they finish fighting. Hoping they will leave after that and hoping you or Jimin won’t end up sneezing. Maybe that’s the best option but you’re already stepping out. Jimin trying weakly to keep you in place but failing miserably. Having nothing else to do but follow you. It’s just probably maximum three steps. And it doesn't even take a split second to cross it.
One.
Two.
Three.
And right as you push open the door. Silently as you can and your eyes never leaving the three figures at the other end, Hoseok’s eyes land directly on you. You can’t figure how his expression changes, but you know there’s no issue. That he’ll manage to hide his surprise. The problem is the way Taehyung’s head turns toward you. Just a millisecond after Hoseok. You may not be able to see his reaction in the dim lighting, but you do clearly hear the gasp that leaves his mouth.
“Taehyung!” Hoseok screams Taehyung’s name right when you disappear through the fire exit. Dragging Jimin along with you.
……………………………….
There was no reason for you to run after closing the fire exit door behind you. Yet that’s what you did. Ran. Ran like you were caught in a zombie attack. Ran like you were escaping an approaching hurricane. Ran like your life depends on it. You kept running, relentless and breathless. Down through hundreds of steps. And Jimin just followed you. Never letting go of your hand or pulling you into a stop. Not even when you exited the RUN building.
And not even now when you keep running without a care.
You don’t even know why you’re still at it. You feel like someone’s on your tail though. There’s an urge to run away far as possible. Far and far away. That’s the only thing that rings in your head when you see the bus that stops at the bus stop before you.
“Lil, wait…. Baby─” That’s the only thing Jimin is able to say when you board the bus. He doesn’t stop you though. Just swiftly follows you inside before the door shuts. It’s only when you reach the rear seats that you stop. It’s only when you plop down on an empty seat that you take a good look at Jimin. His face flushed and panting. No difference for you. You both are heaving for your life. Jimin plops next to you. Clutches his tummy. Looks at you weakly. And that’s only when you realize that you have ran into a fucking bus.
“Fuck!” You exclaim loudly as you take a look around. The bus is already on the move. There’s no reason for you to do this. You fucking overreacted. Why did you even board a bus? You turn back to Jimin. His eyes are already on you. You hope to find him still heaving for breath. To find him giving you a look of disbelief at what you did. What you find, however, is his lips slowly stretching into a grin, which breaks out into a loud laughter in a blink of an eye. It takes you in great surprise. You watch him with wide eyes as he doubles over with laughter. Eyes tiny slits.
“Holy fuck! Did you- did you just… God I can’t.” He struggles to say it aloud. You feel like you need to be mad that he’s making fun of you. Yet all you do is slowly start to grin.
“Oh, shut up!” You mutter in feigned irritation.
“Why the hell did you run like that?” Jimin finally manages to ask the question he wants. “Why did I fucking run like that?” Asks from himself. You find yourself starting to chuckle now.
“I don’t know all right? I kinda felt like I’m running away from my PT teacher. He was damn good runner.” You try to keep fake your irritation but are failing miserably. Jimin’s laughter freshens at that. Is back to hollering. Almost slides down on the seat when you finally give up and join him. Throwing your head back. Laughing aloud till the tears gather at the corner of your eyes. You and Jimin both ignore the annoyed looks other passengers throw your way. You just laugh. Laugh like you’ve never laughed. Like you’ll never get to laugh again.
By the time you stop cackling, you’re once again heaving for breath. You follow Jimin’s actions and get rid of your thin cardigan. It’s still the beginning of spring but all the running and laughing has got you both sweating like pigs. You slide open the small sliding panel on the window before scooting to the corner. Jimin graciously follows you. Finally calming down. You take a deep breath before speaking again.
“Are we gonna get off from the next stop?”
Jimin lazily turns his head toward you. “Do you want to?” There’s that glint in his eyes. Face still flushed. You gape at him for a moment.
“What do you mean? Don’t you have work to do? Aren’t you supposed to meet uh- Liya’s father?”
Jimin clicks his tongue. Turns fully toward you. “All the more reasons to run away baby. I hate that man.” Chuckles. “So? Want to keep going?”
“Where are we headed anyways?” You answer him with another question.
“Who cares?” Jimin just shrugs. Doesn’t even try to find out. “Lil?” Mumbles softly. And you find yourself grinning yet again.
“This is really stupid but yeah whatever.” You shrug too. Let yourself relax and lean against the backrest comfortably. Jimin does the same. A contented smile on his lips. You allow a moment of peaceful silence before voicing out your thoughts. “Taehyung knows now. So, it’s two of your friends. Hoseok and Tae. Do you think he will─”
“No, he won’t. He’s doing far worst shits that I am Lil.” Jimin doesn’t look at you as he answers.
“But he’s not going to stay like Hoseok now, will he? He will confront you.” You add.
“And I’ll talk to him.” This time he looks at you. “Don’t worry, he’s my best friend.”
“Yeah? And we all are bunch of bad people. The worst.” You lower your gaze to your lap. Feeling ashamed.
“Lil.” Jimin calls you softly as he takes your hand in his. You shift your gaze to him from your lap. “Don’t.” He brings your hand to his lips. “Don’t do that hm? Let’s just… do what we’re best at.”
“What? Pretending that this is normal?” You chuckle softly.
“Yes.” Jimin smiles at you. “It’s not that we get lots of moments like this. So, just let’s enjoy. Enjoy us.” Keeps your hand pressed against his mouth. You take a moment. Heave a sigh. Then nod.
“Let’s enjoy us.” Repeat. Jimin’s smile widens at that. Nods happily. Relax again. Start to change the subject of your conversation ever so swiftly. And so does it flow smoothly. You talk about everything that comes to your mind. Jimin is particularly interested in Valentines Day. Is so curious like a cat. You find it adorable. You fill him with everything you can. Have no idea how long you’ve travelled. But you’re starting to feel a little groggy. Having yawned till your sight become blurry already. Yet it’s Jimin who dozed off first. Head drooping low suddenly. Makes your drowsiness disappear entirely as you turn to look at him in alert. Just to find him struggling to keep his eyes open and head straight.
Adorable. Oh, so fucking adorable. You can feel that tingling effect again. Your heart swooning and swelling inside your chest. Swelling because it’s slowly getting filled with an emotion you quite can’t decipher. You don’t know how to explain this. All you know is that you’re not supposed to feel this way. You already knew you’re the secret. The other woman. You’re supposed to be the one who Jimin comes to have his desires satiated. Which means this should be entirely about physical needs. This need to be about fucking each other’s mind every minute you got. Jimin should not be asking you to enjoy him and you. Shouldn’t hold your hand still. You should not be in this position feeling oh so fucked up to see him nodding off.
But you can’t help yourself. You’re already here anyway. So, you gently tug from his hand which he’s still tangled with yours. “Jimin.” Calls him softly. Despite how gently and slow you do it, Jimin jerks awake. Hums in question. You feel bad. “Uh.. you can, you know?” You mutter as you tap your shoulder with your free hand. Feel a bit shy. Jimin chuckles softly.
“Yeah?” Purrs. It’s your time to hum in answer. “Kay.” He purrs again. Shifts slightly, scooting just enough to account for his height. And is placing his head snuggle against your shoulder. His blond hair tickles your cheek and ear. Oh, how relaxed you feel. How cozy and serene to have Jimin with you this way. You shouldn’t but you do. You shouldn’t but you sigh heavily before placing your cheek on top of his head. Wait patiently till your own eyes start to close slowly again. Not caring when you’re going to get off this bus. What will be your destination.
It certainly is good to be reckless and spontaneous sometimes. Even though you’re slowly creating more and more reasons to love this life. See now, you won’t say that you’ve never had a good life in your world. You did. But even as a college student, this is the most reckless you’ve ever been. You have a friend who cares dearly about you. And a family. But it surely is fun to bake kook’s bliss in the late nights. It’s fun to be mad at Hoseok. Fun to be scandalized at Taehyungs nasty comments. Even Jin’s nagging can be a cause to laugh sometimes. You never thought you’d be this happy to work an extra hour at a restaurant after a long day. But you do. In the same way you like to listen J and Jungkook argue over their assignments. Above everything, it’s so good to be next to Park Jimin. Even just for sleeping on a bus.
You like so many things here. You’re living a life. And so, you will live it to the fullest. Like now. You let out another breath in content before snuggling your cheek in Jimin’s hair. Letting the world turn into peaceful darkness.
……………………………
Neither of you woke up until the bus had reached its final destination and the driver poked Jimin’s head. Asking not so politely to leave. You had disembarked while bowing to the driver in apology like two zombies. Groggy and disoriented. And it took both of you couple minutes to comprehend what was happening. When you did, however, one long look around you gave you or rather Jimin the perfect idea where you were.
Namiseom Island.
You’re in Namiseom Island. Some things stays the same as your world. Apart from the fact that instead of Chuncheon, the bus has taken you directly to Namiseom Island. The soft scent of the cherry blossoms is what filled your senses the moment you exited the bus stop. You knew it was beautiful. No difference here. The soft shades of delicate pink and white left you breathless. The fresh air filled your lungs. It was almost dreamy. Like you’ve travelled to a yet another dimension. See even the reckless decisions sometimes can bring the most wondrous results.
You’re more than happy that you’ve ended up here. It feels otherworldly to walk under the gingko and cherry trees with a bewitching man next to you. Carpet of a soft pink crunching under your shoes and newly falling petals decorating your hair. Jimin looks even more enchanting like that. He is captivating. Entrancing. You simply forget to breathe when you see how the wind ruffles his hair. You find it hard to look away when he smiles gently. You find you really can’t fight the urge to kiss him when he turns his head toward you until he ruins the moment.
“What? Why are you staring at me like that?” Jimin gasps. Eyes glinting in amusement. “Wait, oh no… are you obsessed with me? Have I done it again?” Shakes his head in disbelief. Is cocky. Smug.
Yes, you are.
No need to let him know that, though. You scrunch up your face as you look away. “You’ll wish. But no, I’d never be obsessed with a man who is not Henry Cavill.”
“Henry who? And what?” Jimin scoffs. “Your eyes talk princess. You’re obsessed with me.”
“How delusional you are.” You scoff too. “But I would admit that I just wanted to kiss you. That doesn’t mean I’m obsessed, however. Just a kiss because─” Jimin interrupts you by yanking you to a stop by grabbing your arm. Turns you to him.
“Do it then.” Mumbles. You got him. You’re certain that your eyes are glinting in mischief. You simply shrug and shake your head.
“The moment passed.” Try to walk away when Jimin tightens his grip.
“No... No, what? C’mon, you wanted to kiss me.”
“Not anymore. Now I’m hungry. Is that an Ice cream cart?” You point to your right where you undoubtedly noted an Ice cream cart.
“What? I don’t know. Just kiss me baby.”
You almost give up at his husky voice that suddenly turns down an octave low. Making goosebumps appear on your skin. Still, you manage to keep it cool, though. Find yourself walking toward the Ice cream cart. With a great struggle since you have to drag a whining Jimin with you. Smiling to yourself at how adorable he’s being. It’s only when you’re in front of the said cart and you’re bowing to the old lady there that Jimin stops being a child. Suddenly mans up. Bows to the nice lady as well. She does the same while smiling at you from one ear to the other.
“Well, hello there, darlings! Isn’t it a lovely sight to see young people taking the time to be out in nature. Ah, yeah, it is.” She looks at you fondly. You bow to her again. “Now, what’s it you’re craving for today?” Gestures to the compartment where there is only five flavors available. You turn to Jimin in question.
“Hm? What do you like?” He asks you softly, inspecting the available flavors thoroughly. And here you’re feeling that same flutter. This is oddly intimate in non-sexual way. It’s sweet. So sweet. Like a normal couple. Like how a boyfriend would buy ice cream for his girl.
No. No, you shouldn’t think that way.
“Lil?” Jimin asks again. You snap out of your haze. Instantly start to drag your gaze through the flavors.
“Um… mint chocolate maybe. How about you?” You hum in thought. There’s not many options available anyway.
“Mmm..” Jimin tilts his head to the sight. Takes a second. “Cherry blossom. You sure you need mint choc?” Questions to which you nod in confirmation. “Okay then. One mint choc and one Cherry blossom please.” Jimin turns to the old lady again. Bows to her again. Mumbles a ‘thank you’.
“Right away.” The vendor woman says chirpily. Her smile never ceasing as she starts to grab two small cups. You and Jimin wait patiently as she scoops your ice cream into the cup first. She offers it to you with a small wooden spoon before going for Jimin’s order. Jimin takes them from her. Only to hand you them while he fishes for his wallet.
“How much do we owe you halmeoni?” He asks sweetly. Already starting to fish inside his wallet. You feel skeptical about the fact that he is having small bills in there. It’s not like you can pay with his damn golden card. But then, making you both surprised, the old lady waves her hand in the air.
“Ah, don’t you fret now. This one’s on me—a little treat for a young pair off on their grand escape.” She smiles in a way that it is sweet but also hides a hint of playfulness. Your eyes go wide instantly.
“Oh, no we- uh...” Jimin’s the one who speaks first. He doesn’t finish his sentence, but you know what he’s about to say. You feel your heart clench. Even though you know there’s no reason for that. And so do you hate that. Hate how it stings.
“Not a couple.” So, you finish Jimin’s words. It’s not that you feel mad at him. He’s telling the truth. Yet, you feel a bit disappointed. You avoid looking at Jimin and keep your eyes on the old lady. Her face falls.
“Ah.” Clicks her tongue. “What a shame?” Shakes her head. “Yes, it is.” You feel uncomfortable all of a sudden. Know Jimin feels the same when he clears his throat.
“If you can tell me the total Halmeoni…” Jimin tries but his words trail off when she waves her hand again.
“It’s still on me darlings.” Shows you that kind smile once again. “Why, aren’t you two a couple, however? You look grand together. Lovely, you are.” Questions in genuine interest. Oh, you’re uncomfortable. What can you say to her. Because this man has a girlfriend.
“I- we... it’s kind of complicated.” You’re the who manage to answer this time. Lady just nods. Almost like in understanding. Then as you think it’s over and you can vanish from here, she opens her mouth again.
“Complicated matters can always be simplified, my dears.” She gives a knowing smile. “If you’ll humor an old lady, let me tell you—life’s far too short to waste just because you’re tangled up in complicated feelings. Don’t squander this precious time. Blink, and it’s gone.” She straightens up with a great effort. Her movements deliberate. “It’ll all slip away before you realize you’ve been missing it.” Clicks her tongue. “So don’t waste your time. Treasure every single moment you’ve got with each other.” Heaves a sigh. Wistful. Then follows a sweet smile. “Off you go now. Don’t let this turn into regret.” Waves her hand in motion for you to go away.
You would call it rude in a different context but now you quite feel dumbstruck. Her words somehow manage to cut you through to your heart. You feel them in a strange way. You guess it’s same for Jimin as he is stupidly nodding to the old lady. It’s like she has cast a spell on you. Both of you manage to slightly bow to her for one last time before slowly turning around your heels. Walking toward a bench under a cherry blossom tree. Sitting down and starting to taste your ice cream.  A deafening silence fills the air between you two until you break it. Not being able to bear it anymore. Feel somber all of a sudden.
“Why would she think we are on the run anyway?” Pout.
A soft chuckle escapes Jimin.
“Because we look like we ran a marathon.” He gestures between you two. And sure, you do look like that. Still with flushed faces. Your cardigan tied around your waist. Jimin’s coat in his hand. Tie loosened and top buttons on his shirt undone. You do look like you’ve ran a marathon. You take a minute to drink in your appearances. Then you snort loudly. Breaking into a laugh to which Jimin joins shortly. You nod in agreement to his words. Savoring another spoon of your ice cream. Jimin does the same. Rolls the creamy stuff in his tongue before turning to you again. “Want to treasure every moment with me?” Raises his brow. You just blink at his face. Here comes those tingles again. Here you start to feel like exploding with your emotions. You avert your eyes away. Forcing yourself to act normal. Make a joke out of it.
“Such a cheeky thing to say.” Manage through a mouthful of ice cream. Jimin laughs.
“C’mon milady, let’s not turn this into regret huh?” His hands find purchase in your sides. A squeal leaves you when he starts to tickle you.
“Park.”
“Say yes.” He puts down his ice cream on the bench so he can use his both arms to attack you. Making you curl up. Trying to find your words in between the loud laughter that escapes you. Kicking your legs in the air. Trying to escape him vain till tears blur your sight.
“O-okay, okay fuck yes.” You pant.
“Thank you, milady. The pleasure and privilege of your company is entirely mine.” Jimin’s hands leave you immediately. You roll your eyes back to your head when he plants a soft kiss to your temple. “Let’s go.”
………………………….
Not wasting your time and treasuring your moments together apparently meant cycling around the island. In your heels. And Jimin’s expensive suit pants. You’re pretty sure he ruined them. And then visiting local galleries. Listening to Jimin’s wildly inaccurate but creative interpretations of the artworks. It was an endless laugh, however. Then your mission- treasuring moments- trailed into another stroll through the scenic lanes.
And by the time your conversation has turned into Jimin flat out criticizing Romeo for being an idiot, you find it's impossible to stay on your feet anymore. Your legs are killing you. Heels aren’t meant to be worn for day trips. You cut off Jimin mid-sentence by immediately darting toward a bench when you spot one. Feeling relief washes over you just at the sight of it.
“Why the fuck would he kill─, wait where─” He doesn’t get to finish his question since you’re already sitting on the bench and looking at him with a relieved expression. A small scowl that appeared on his face out of worry replaced with a soft smile briskly. He starts to walk toward the bench as you cross one leg over the other to massage it.
“Fucking hell, my ankles are in fire.” You whine in complain. Raise your head a bit to find him standing before you. You pout at him. Waiting till he sits down next to you. But he doesn’t. Instead of sitting down on the bench, he crouches down before your feet. One knee on the floor. You softly gasp. Surprised. His name leaving your mouth.
“Is it bad?” Jimin ignores your surprise. Simply takes your leg in his hand. Gently remove your heel. Does the same to the other. Goes back to rub your ankle just like he did this morning. And just like how it was for you, you feel that mixture of emotions. Feel warm inside. Feel cherished. As if you’re the most important person in this world. To make it worse, a single touch of Jimin would always make your breath hitch. You close your eyes for a second. Savoring the sensation. Open them again.
“Mhm, it is bad. But you don’t have to do that Park.” You try to take your foot back. Of course, Jimin doesn’t let you.
“Why not? I like this.” Jimin looks at you through his fluttering lashes. Smirks. And that tiny smirk reminds you of the conversation that got interrupted this morning. And so does cause for a shiver to run down your spine.
“Jesus, you little freak.” You bite down on your bottom lip to contain the grin that’s spreading across your face. To hide the tremble in your voice.
“What?” Jimin feign innocence. Squeezes your ankle one last time before he puts your leg carefully down. Then takes the other one in his hand. “You promised me a foot job baby.” Teases. This time you fail to hide the tremble. The playful nature entirely disappearing. Your eyes lock into his. He’s not playing. Oh, he is not. There’s no sign of amused glint in those brown orbs. A glint of a dark haze is there if anything.
“Fuck are you serious about that?” You ask in your shaky voice.
“Maybe.” Jimin holds your foot tight. “Is it bad if I’m serious?” Questions.
“No, course not. I’m just asking.”
“So, is that a, yes? You gonna let me cum hard on your pretty feet?” Rasps while his hand starts to rub your heels instead of ankles. Your hands instinctively finds purchase in his shirt sleeve. Bunching up the fabric in your fists and holding tight. You feel that shivers turn into waves of arousals. Your cunt quavering and hole clenching. Gets your knees buckle just with his words. And how do you want to give in right there. Can’t though. You’re in public. True, you’ve done things in the open, but you don’t dare to try it again. Only you, however. You’re the only who don’t dare. Jimin does.  Slowly raises your foot a bit. Never gives you so much as a clue before he is pressing that foot into his crotch. Letting you feel that he’s already getting hard. His pants starting to tighten. You mewl softly.
“Jimin….”
“See, already hard baby. Just thinking about it. Fuck, want you to do that to me so bad.” Uses your foot to create the friction he needs for that little relief.
“Holy fuck Jimin. God.”
“Fuck Lil.” He presses your foot harder against him. Partially you’re tempted to say yes to do whatever he wants right out in the open. Yet even before you can finish thinking that thought Jimin gets to his feet abruptly. Only a surprised gasp leaves you before his hand is on your throat. Pressing as his lips attacked yours in a hungry kiss. It’s like damn switch flipped off. One moment he was kneeling in front of you. With begging eyes but now he’s choking you while kissing you like an unleashed animal. Out in the public. Oh, the duality of this man. Not that you’re complaining. No. Even the logical thoughts are starting leave you. You kiss him back severely. Allow his tongue to push past your lips roughly. Explore every nook and corner inside your mouth. You do the same. It’s a mess of saliva wetting your lips when he pulls back slightly just to sit back next you. And you’re at it again. Without a care in the world.
“Fuck princess…” Jimin whispers against your lips. In the moment where you pull away from him because you can’t go anymore without any oxygen. “Do you have any fucking idea what you’re doing to me?” Pecks your lips. “Fuck, do you have any idea how fast you get me hard.” Another peck. “I’m always fucking horny around you.” Pecks. “Hell baby, I can’t get enough.” Kisses you hard.
You want to say that it’s same for you as well. Want to tell him that you’re always dripping around him. But he doesn’t let you. Occupy your mouth and swallow all your muffled noises. You want to show him though. So, you use your hands. It’s feral when you reach for his already hardened cock. Straight away start to rub and squeeze over his pants. It’s ethereal how Jimin moans into your kiss. His breath coming short and ragged when he withdraws. His plump lips parting and eyes closing shut. Drowning in the feeling of your hand on his cock. Only for a minute, however. Is back at kissing you in a second but this time his own hand cupping your heat. His palm pressing flat against your throbbing cunt. You spread your legs for him. The place you’re in slipped your mind a long ago.
You have no idea how long you’ve been at it. Giving each other teasing touches. But in the end, you’re both desperate like two animals in heat. Yet like always you’re the one to beg first.
“Ji-Jimin... oh shit, shit I… let’s get out of here?” You stammer as Jimin keeps rubbing your cunt over your clothes. You’re pretty sure you’ll start to leak through your work pants.
“Ye-yeah? You want that?” It’s annoying how Jimin still finds it in him to tease you when he looks like he’s about cum in his pants. Is hiding his face on your neck. Even with the unbearable pleasure between your thighs, you manage to keep pleasuring him as well. He is rock hard under those fabrics. And you want to end the torture.
“Fuck baby yes. Please. Let’s go… fuck me properly.” You plead groggily. “Play with me hm? Fuck I want you to play Jimin please.” You shut your eyes. Feeling like you’re about to cum at the thought of it. Keeping him warm inside you. Begging for him to give it you. It’s torture yes, but what a sweet torture it is. You want it so bad, yet you know that Jimin isn’t going to relent that fast. Not that easy. It would take much more begging. Hence, your surprise when his hand disappear from your heat instantly. You’re looking at him with confused eyes when he stands up. He bends down to cup your cheeks. Squeezes. His eyes are dark as midnight and burn with primal intensity. Looks crazy. There’s a tiny smirk playing at the corner or his mouth, nonetheless.
“Fuck you’ve learnt how to play Lil. You’re fucking cunning.” Gives your face a shake. “You want me to play? Are you sure?” You nod eagerly. Too eagerly perhaps. His smirk widens. “Yeah? Is that it?” Comes even closer to you. “You gonna regret that baby. Gonna play until you cry. C’mon move.” Takes his hand away.
You gulp harshly.
…………………………………
You’re a crying mess. Your cheeks are soaked in tears, your body glistening with sweat, and your thighs slick with arousal. Just a mess. But a hot and needy mess. Desperate. Crying entirely due to the pleasure and for your release. You have expected this completely. When Jimin warned you’d regret asking him to play, apparently, he had meant it from his bones. You’re regretting it greatly. And oh, so loving it at the same time. The moment you found yourself inside this hotel room, he had made it his life’s mission to make you suffer. It started from stop kissing you just after he got you stark naked in front of him. And a simple command.
‘On your knees, ass up baby.’
You complied. Like a good needy, horny slut would. Confused and without a clue what’s his intentions were. That’s when he had made you shuffle in your position until he got you facing the direction he wants. Funny how in your lust-addled haze, you hadn’t noticed the floor to ceiling mirror, perfectly placed in a spot where you can watch yourself get fucked from behind. You have your own suspicions that this is the real purpose of that mirror after all. No have you noticed the sparks in Jimin’s eyes when he had noticed it undoubtedly before you.
See now, this is a clear sign that universe is conspiring against you, with Jimin. How the mirror looks like a perfectly planned step of Jimin’s ‘making you regret it’ scheme. It had given Jimin’s creative mind a good opportunity to put those ideas into display. You are being the test subject. A grateful one. Grateful but losing your control. You can’t do it anymore. A girl can only handle certain amounts of edging after all. The thing is you don’t know how many times he had edged you until now.
Ever since his command, you’ve been in this position. Your hands are already giving up. So are your legs. Shaky. Jimin is pounding on to you from behind. He looks godly. Flushed and clenching his jaw so tight, it looks like he might break it. His rock-hard dick throbbing and twitching inside you. Yet, he keeps thrusting into you with same vigor. Dick head hitting your sweet spot repeatedly and bringing you close to your great relief. Only for him to rob it away.
“Ji-min… please... no more... I-I can’t...” You plead in for what time you don’t know. Sobbing. You watch how his eyes are glued to where you and he connect, through the mirror. Transfixed. Panting as his hips relentlessly snaps against your ass. He averts his gaze from your cunt to the mirror at your begging. Looking at your face instead. His gone-mad eyes locking with yours.
“You can’t?” Taunts. You whine pathetically. “What can’t you do?” Asks again. Picks up his speed that causes you to only moan in answer. And that earns a harsh spank on your ass cheek. Nearly making you plunge forward. He has landed few spanks here and there, but this is the hardest one. You mewl in pain but clench around him madly in new desire at the same time. Jimin holds you tight in your place by your hips. “Don’t fucking run slut. I asked you a damn question. What do you can’t?” Repeats.
“W-want t-to cum Jimin… fuck, I can’t anymore. I need to c-cum. Please baby, let me...” You find your strained voice. Jimin only groans in response to that. Concentrating on fucking you properly. “Jimin…” So, you try again.
“Then do as I say Lil.” Commands. Bends down forward. Slow down his thrusts. Leaning toward your ear so that his chest is pressed against your back. Watches you in the mirror. You shiver when he growls in your ear. “Be a good slut. You can cum if you keep your eyes open. Watch baby, want you to watch how beautiful you are when you getting fucked like a slut. Want you to see how beautiful you look when you fucking cum on my cock. You’re such beautiful whore for me.” With that he straightens up again. Picks up his pace again. So perfect. So good. You’re slobbering. Strangled noises leaving your throat as you bunch up the bedsheet on your fists. He has opted on an animalistic pace again. You moan loudly at the sensation. Arching your back even more and closing your eyes shut. And like that it all stops. In a millisecond. All gone. Jimin stills inside you. His movements entirely halted. The heavenly pleasure between your thighs dissipate into thin air. Your eyes shoot open.
“No… no Jimin please… fuck no…” You cry out in despair. Fresh tears are starting to roll down your cheeks. This is how it has been all these times. This is his game. The way he plays. His instructions are easy. Keep your eyes open. Keep watching. Keep watching while you fall over the edge. As if it is easy like that. You don’t know why or how, but you always end up shutting your eyes up. It’s unconscious. The immense pleasure cause you to close your eyes. And Jimin very cruelly has denied your release every time you did so.
“Keep.” Jimin gives you a harsh thrust. His fingers digging into your hips. Holding you steady. “Your.” Another thrust. “Eyes.” He delivers another spank with his thrust. “Open slut. Keep them open.” And he starts to fuck into you again. Harsh and hard that your hands fail you. You fall flat on your face. Raising your head feebly to stare at your pathetic figure getting pound by a breathtaking man. You can’t anymore. You can’t take this. You need to control your body. Need to have your senses back so you can comply to Jimin’s commands. So, you can reach your peak. You try your best. Do your best. Only to fail again. Right at the moment it becomes unbearable, and that knot almost explode, you close your eyes again. The pleasure disappears again. You choke on your own sobs. How many times? God how long he has done this? You’ve lost count already.
“Fucking hell, Jimin…. God… no… baby please let me…” You cry harder. New slicky juices seep out of your cunt each time you violently clench around him. Drenching your thighs and Jimin’s pelvic even more. Jimin moans loudly at the sensation as well. Or maybe it’s your cry. Whatever the reason, Jimin is the most controlled and rude prick ever. How does he even do this? You can see him shaking too. Can feel his cock throb too. Still, he’s been mean to you. And you know that he knows how you like it. In addition to your clenches, you’re weakly moving your hips back. Subtly fucking yourself on his cock. He stops that with a spank. Watches you through the mirror when you nod. Letting him know he can continue. So, he does. This time he snakes his hand around your throat. And straightens you up. Into his chest.
“Why can’t you listen baby?” Coos. Starts his thrusting again. Slow first. “You’re that horny? Your brain can’t process things? Is it empty? Did I fuck your thoughts away? Are you thinking with your cunt now? Hm my pretty slut?” Turns your head toward the mirror with a harsh grip on your jaw. “Watch Lil. Look how good you take me. Look how fucking gorgeous you are. Keep watching, okay. I promise you, you won’t cum today if you don’t.” Falls back to that harsh pace. You force yourself to comply this time. You will yourself to keep your eyes open. Humiliation turning your face into a deep scarlet. Jimin watches you intently too. “Yeah, like that. And take this cock like the slut you are princess. Shit, like that.” Grunts. You nod. Feeling how each drag of his cock against your walls make your legs buckle. Seeing how he is disappearing inside your needy hole through the mirror. What a sight you are together with Park Jimin. Keeping his face pressed against yours. One hand still having a tight grip on your jaw and making you watch yourself. Then the other falling between your thighs.
Jimin doesn’t play fair. You know that. It’s very unfair that he starts playing with your sensitive nub. His purpose is to make you disobey again. That evil smirk is the proof of it. Yet you manage to keep your eyes open this time. Gets Jimin chuckling in between his harsh thrusts and flicks in your clit.
“See, not bad whore. You can listen after all. Such a good dirty slut. Go on, baby you can. Keep your eyes open.” Fucks you harder. “Like that. Yeah. Mphm, squeeze me tight.” His hand picks up the speed. And it happens so fast. You don’t even feel the tell-tales before that knot snaps. No do you know whether you managed to keep your eyes open or not. You’re not sure if you have seen you falling apart or not. It’s a mushy haze. The pleasure coursing through your body. All you know is the way you shake and fall back on to Jimin’s body entirely.
When you come back to your clear senses again, Jimin is pulling out of you. Making you lay down on your back. Hovers over you with his eyes filled with unexplainable emotions. You would just call it worry.
“You, okay?” He purrs.
“Please more.” You spread your legs wide.
“Fucking hell Lil.” He curses aloud.
…………………………………………….
Jimin is losing his mind. It’s short circuiting. He feels like he can’t breathe. Has he ever seen a sight more beautiful than this in his life? Anything more breathtaking than you beneath him. Squirming and writhing. He had made you cum twice more in this position after you came hard while watching yourself from the mirror. Yet still, no matter how spent and weak you appear, you meet his thrust halfway. Buck your hips upward. You’re amazing, aren’t you? Amazing in how willing and pliant you are for him. How you’re allowing him to push your boundaries. Like this. Why would you do that? Why would you trust him this much?
See now, he’s partially worried that he’s hurting you. Forcing you take it when you can’t handle it anymore. But you’re mumbling incoherent ‘mores’ and ‘pleases’ over and over again. How far you are willing to go with him. And he doesn’t mean just in sex vise. You trust him every way. When he thinks about it, you have been ever since the day he broke a man’s nose for you during that storm. And that makes his heart swell. Swoon. Fills him with emotions that leaves him confused and helpless. He doesn’t know how to get them off. Feels like he might explode if he doesn’t. So, he fucks you harder and harder. Peering into your teary eyes. They glint. How beautiful.
“Jiminie… baby… oh, you feel so good.” Your voice is like his favorite music. “Jimin.” Especially when you use that voice to moan his name. You look ethereal beneath him. Fuck he needs more. He needs more from you. But how? You’re giving everything to him. Sprawled out here for him. Keeping his cock inside your tight hot cunt like this. Clenching. Jimin feels like he’s in heaven. Yet he wants more. He thrust harder into your warmth. Basking in the sensation of your velvet walls around his throbbing dick. Hides his face in your neck to smell you in. Adds some more purple marks to your skin, his canvas. Your chest and neck is marked deeply with his love bites. You’re so willing to let him do that. If anything, he knows that makes you even more turned on. See, Jimin find it’s impossible to restrain himself when you’re like this. You’re giving him everything. He’s going to explode. He needs to have more.
“Yeah princess? How good? Tell me how good I feel inside your cute hole.” Jimin mumbles against your lips. Keeping his dick dragging along your walls. Pining your hands above your head so you won’t try touching your clit. It’s his work. To make you cum. So, he makes sure to grind his pelvic to your throbbing clit with each of his thrust. You fail to perform words once again. Just moan. Moan loud. Fuck, he can’t. It’s a damn battle not to go even harder. He can’t. You’re already spent. It’ll break you. It’ll hurt you. He doesn’t want that. What gets him going is to see your pleasure. Weird. Oddly strange. Never in his life has he felt this fucked up to see someone else getting pleasured like this. But when it comes to you, it’s the source of his pleasure. To see you get lost. In the pleasure he creates and in him. To think he’s the reason behind your fucked up expression. Your eyes rolling back and the reason you’ve turned into a brainless mush. Fuck, he’s going to die.
“You’re doing so damn fine baby. Jesus Lil…. Taking me so well… Keep going hm? I’m so close...” And so, he is. So close. It’s that he’s simply greedy to let go. Doesn’t want this to end. Doesn’t want to lose the warmth of your cunt. Warmth of your body against him. Want to prolong this long as he can. Now though, it’s becoming impossible. Jimin knows he can’t hold back much longer. Your hole clenching around him, desperate to milk him. Your sweet moans. The way your back keep arching and pressing your perfect tits against his chest. All are bringing him to his edge. But still, he needs something more. The purple and reddish marks on your chest and neck isn’t enough. He wants more. More to make you his. It’s a pure primal desire that burns inside him. He feels lightheaded. He’s so close and he can’t pull out. Doesn't want to. Wants to fill you up. Needs to shoot his cum deep inside your cunt. Even the thought makes him moan your name. Makes his cock twitch.
He isn’t going to last long, and he needs to cum inside you. He works in an automated mode when he takes one of his hands to grab your face. Just to bring your attention to him. You look up at him in your tear-filled dark gaze. Jimin doesn’t think you can hear him properly. Still, he needs to ask. “Lil.” He calls to you softly. You just hum. “Baby.” He tries again.
“Jiminie.” You respond weakly.
“Hell, princess… don’t look so fucking…... fuck…” He tries to compose himself. He has to ask. “Lil so close… Baby…” Moans. You nod in acknowledgement. As if you know what he want. But you don’t. You have no idea. Well, to hell with it.  “Need to cum inside you.” Blurts out. And like that you’re suddenly wide eyed. It’s like he has slapped you into your senses. Are looking at him with your perfect glittery eyes. Stunned. See, if he’s not inside you already, he would certainly think that he has crossed a line. That you don’t like the idea at all. Good thing since he’s inside you. Because he can feel how tight you get around him. Clenching like a bitch in heat.
Fuck, you need that too.
Jimin nearly comes at the realization. But he needs to hear you. “Lil, fuck… can I?” Feels desperate. “Please fuck… need to fill you up. Full. Can I fuck you full of my cum baby. Please.” Knows there’s no reason to beg but can’t help it either. “Let me hear you say yes. Will keep you full all the time.” And that’s all it take.
“Yes, please yes. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jimin… yes please inside. Please... inside me. Cum baby please.” You scream through your lungs as your back leaves the mattress. Another powerful orgasm washing through you. Jimin doesn’t know whether it’s your beg or the way you squeezes him but in a second he’s following you into that ecstasy. He feels like a feral animal when he press his hips harder against you. Making sure you receive every drop of his cum inside you. How primal. How you’re awakening a monster inside him. And then how good and satisfactory it feels. He thrusts sloppily into you few more times before giving up completely. He’s exhausted too. Falling down into your spent body while minding not to crush you. Hiding his face in your neck. Waiting until his racing heart calms down.
“You’re so good to me princess. You did so good. Fuck that was amazing.” Praises you just for the sake of it. You just hum. He waits, waits and waits. Till he can’t wait anymore. It doesn’t matter how greedy he feels he need to slip out of you. And even though he feels like falling asleep right away, he needs to clean you up. His princess deserves all the pampering in the world after all. After sex or not. You deserve it.
He has no idea when he finally manage to get up from the bed. Quickly letting an alerted and whining you know that he’s just going to grab a towel. By the time he’s back, you look like you’ve already fallen into that deep slumber. Your breathing even. Makes him wonder why you haven’t disappeared yet. It’s good though. He’s glad. Jimin watches you for a minute.
Oh, here comes that squeeze in his heart. Bittersweet. You look peaceful. Angelic. He doesn’t want to wake you up at all. It would be a crime to make you wake up and get dressed. You can spend your night here. Jimin wants to spend this night with you. A luxury he can’t afford to have every day. This moment is precious and he’s going to treasure it. Not because some old woman told him to do so. But because it really is invaluable.
So, he tries his best not to wake you as he parts your leg. Fails. You open your eyes wearily.
“It’s okay baby.” He soothes you. Hoping you would go back to sleep. You close your eyes, though he doesn’t know whether you have fallen asleep. Turns out you haven’t when he discarded the towel and hover over you after he finishes cleaning you up. Your eyes open once again when he peer at your face.
“Hey.” You mumble groggily.
“Hey.” He answers you. Can’t hide the adoration in his voice. You giggle prettily. Oh, he’s so fucked up. He kisses you deep just because he can’t resist. Maybe he doesn’t have the privilege of waking up and going to sleep with you. But he always can kiss you deep. Like this. You sigh in content after he pulls away. Give him those eyes. Beautiful. Enchanting. That starry night. Jimin is so down for them.
“Are we staying here?” You ask sleepily.
“If you want to, we can, yes.”
And you’re nodding eagerly. Jimin is once again about to explode from these overwhelming emotions. He doesn’t know what to do with them. Pulling you into his chest and keep you tight against him appears to be a good idea. So, he does just that. Still naked. Your warmth keeping him warm before he pull the blankets over your bodies. Cuddles you tighter.
“Then sleep baby.” Kisses your forehead. He shouldn’t. It feels oddly intimate in non-sexual way. He does it anyway. Does it again. And again, till you fall asleep for real.
He really wants to see how it happens. How you shift. But he’s too tired. Maybe he’ll try to see it the next time. Or the next. For now, he’ll just hold you close and sleep tight.
………………………..
“How are we supposed to use this?” Key asks, inspecting a package of menstrual cups.
“Really?” You reply, bewildered.
“Yah! I’m serious. Teach me.”
“It’s not rocket science Key. Stick it up your hole.”
“Ew, don’t say it like that.”
“Then how do you want me to say it.” You roll your eyes as you toss few packets of pads and tampons into your cart. Trying to recall all the other stuffs you need to buy. Perking up suddenly when you remember the ketchup. “Wait, ketchup! Wait here.” You already start to leave your complaining best friend behind. Going back to the section of ‘sauces and seasonings’ which you already passed. You blame yourself for not preparing a list before coming grocery shopping as you stand before the aisle. Eyes scanning the varied of brands and products before they stop on your favorite one. You pick two large size bottles with hope of not coming here anytime soon for ketchup again. You nearly turn around to leave and join back with Key when a sudden voice startles you. It comes from behind.
“What a greedy little thing.” It says. Before you can turn around and find out who’s the owner of that voice, however, one of the ketchup bottles is snatched up from your hands.
“Yah!” You snap immediately. Turning around to find who’s the lunatic that think they can act like this way with strangers. And a mop of silver hair is what you notice first. Then a sharp jawline. Lastly fair skin and two black eyes hidden beneath that silver locks. The lunatic is a man. Or a boy you would say since he looks like he’s fifteen. Taller than you are though. He clicks his tongue.
“Why would you be so greedy and take two of them when you only need one. Over consumption is going to kill us one day.” Says as he puts the bottle of ketchup back in its place. Your brows merge instantly.
“YAH!” You exclaim loudly this time. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Grimace as you proceed to take your ketchup bottle back. Just before your fingers even brush on the bottle he stops you cold. By suddenly grabbing your wrist. Your eyes go wide in surprise. For minute. Then you avert them to the stranger next to you. Shoot him a murderous glare. Clench your jaw tightly as you try to free your hand from his tight grip. What the fuck does he think he’s doing? Does he think it’s cool. That he looks like a fucking heart throb.
“Why would you need two when one is perfectly enough. Why being such a greedy thing.” He clicks his tongue yet again. Hell, he looks like he’s fifteen, but he sure do speak like he’s ninety. You feel your patience running thin.
“How’s that any of your fucking business kid. Let my hand go before I damn fucking scream.” You grit your teeth. For your relief he does let go of your hand. You immediately grab your ketchup bottle. Almost turn around to leave this mad kid when he speaks again.
“Well, you being greedy over a bottle of ketchup? Not my business. But you being greedy over someone else’s life and messing up with the order of things? That’s my business through and through.” His tone stern and serious.  And you freeze. Freeze halfway turning around your heel. Turn back slowly to him. This time eyes wide in realization.
“Wh-what?” You let out without even your knowledge. He smirks.
“Oh, you pick up things rather fast. I wonder why, such a smart girl would risk her life this way.” Clicks his tongue again. “But then you’re a human. Humans are greedy. And your greed, little thing, is about to consume you whole.” Looks you dead in the eye. Your mouth is suddenly dry. This time you’re not surprised to see a man walking up to you and starts talking about your travels between two universes. No, you have expected this wholly. Even though you didn’t expect a silver haired young man.
“I- I…”
“Save it greedy little thing, I’m not here to hear you come up with excuses. Because there are none. You chose to be ruined. All because you were craving for a life you can’t have, you don’t have.” He takes a step forward. You’re not surprised to see him, yes. Still, you find it hard to comprehend the situation though. This is the answers you’ve been waiting for. You’re supposed to ask for a way to stop this. Fuck, it makes your heart clench. You’re not least bit happy to see this person. Answers mean the way to stop this. Stopping this mean ending your journey. Oh, but you have only started it. And that means you’ll never get to see Jimin again. Never get to see Jungkook again. Or anyone else. Suddenly, you feel like running away. Away from this strange man who’s about to ruin it all.
He gives you a knowing smile. “See, I am right. But here’s the thing little greedy human, that life you crave, isn’t yours to live. And the more you try to make it yours, the more you messed up with your own life. So, listen to me closely.” He leans forward. You stay rooted. Not even being able to recoil back when he starts to whisper against your ear. “End of the summer next year. That’s the only ever chance you’ll get. After that you’re stuck in this loop forever. Until it destruct you into ashes and you’re wiped from both worlds. So, think wise this time. Don’t ruin it. Stop being greedy for someone else’s life. And remember no more than seventy-two hours in one world. Break it, and you’re done.” With that he pulls away. Starts to walk away. You expect him to disappear, but he doesn’t. Is departing like a normal human being. You look at his retrieving back. Still, rooted into the spot. Feeling your heart shatter. His words ringing in your mind.
“Hey! What took you so- What’s happening?” You hear Key’s voice coming next to you. Yet it feels like coming from far away. There’s a question you need to ask. You need to ask it from him. You break into an abrupt run, startling Key.
“Hey, wait. Please wait.” He does. “Are you sure there isn’t any way?” Your voice shaky. He shakes his head in disbelief.
“What did I tell you about being greedy now, little thing. No. There aren’t. It’s you stay and die or do the right thing and live.”
“But then why put me there in the first place? Why did I start to go there?”
“Because someone was greedy back then too.”
…………………………….
You dash up the staircase toward Jungkook’s apartment hurriedly. Mindlessly. There’s only one thing ringing in your mind. You need to meet Jimin immediately and tell him what happened. You had a very restless sleep last night, filled with nightmares. You’re scared. You’re terrified. And one must think the reason is turning into dust. But no, what terrifies you most is the thought of it all ending. You’re scared because you don’t know a way to stop it. At least not without self-destruction. You’re terrified because you don’t know how you’ll manage to fall into a normal life. Without any of these people in your life. Especially Park Jimin.
You know you’re shameless. Even after that fifteen-year-old grandpa explicitly warned you about the consequences of being greedy, here you are still being that. Greedy. You can’t lose this. You can’t lose Jimin. How it would be to wake up every day knowing you’ll never see him again. Not even by accident. He’ll be worlds apart. How it’ll be never to see Jungkook. Never to bake Kook’s bliss again. To not have an annoying boss like Hoseok. You’ll never be able to laugh hard at seeing full grown adults act like toddlers.
No. No. No. You can’t let this happen.
You need to tell Jimin what’s happening. He might come up with a way.
In your haste and in your oblivious state, you almost miss the familiar figure that always wait for you every other morning. Only almost though. It’s hard to miss a tattooed muscle bunny. Especially, when he practically jump at you. Not even letting you take the last step as he is grabbing from your shoulders tightly. A surprised yelp escapes your mouth.
“Kookie!”
“Are you okay?” You both shout at the same time. Your brows furrowing at his words. For a moment it doesn’t make any sense to you that he’s suddenly asking such a question. And there’s an urgency to his voice too. As if something bad happened. To make it worse he looks so worried. His doe eyes flickering between yours frantically. His grip on you tightening. “Noona, tell me you’re, okay?” He presses. You take a good look at his panicked expression before slowly nodding.
“Of course, why are you─”
“You didn’t come home. You never do that, and I tried calling you and texted you and I was so fucking worried. And... and…” His words falter, trailing into stammers. Closes his eyes tightly and opens them back to peer at you. Stressed. You can visibly see how concerned and distraught he is. And it hits you. Slowly. Of course, you didn’t come home the other day. So did you forget to check your phone too. It’s not even in your possession. You hope Jimin will remember to grab it with him. You open your mouth to tell Jungkook that. To apologize. You genuinely feel bad. Guilty for making him worried. But then you close it again. Not exactly knowing what to say. Not that you can say you were with Jimin. What’s the possible explanation. “Where were you?” Jungkook manages to ask again at the lack of your response. You remain silent, though. Raking your brain for a good excuse.
“I…um... uh…”
“Don’t lie please.” Jungkook interrupts your pointless excuse. You gape at him Confused. “You were with Jimin, weren’t you?” It sounds more like a statement than a question. He’s letting you know that he knows. Your hearts sinks to the pit of your stomach. You inhale shaky breath. Wonder how he knows though. He gives you the answer without even you asking. “Hoseok. I called Hoseok when you didn’t answer my calls and….”
“Oh.”  You feel your body heat up with shame. Even though this is the second time. You feel even more ashamed to face him than the first. You just proved you’re a lying bitch.
“Why?”
You feel dumbstruck at his question. What’s the meaning of that question anyway. That’s not what he’s supposed to do. He may have understood your situation the first time. But now, you expect him to see you as the bitch who you are. Disgust him. Not to ask questions such as this.
“What? What do─”
“Why are you doing it Noona? Like are you really in love?” You watch as Jungkook’s entire expression morphed into something hurt. Like you’ve caused him a great heart break.
No. Of course, not. Right?
You feel irritated suddenly. You have no time to have this conversation now.
“No… no, Kookie. I’m not.” Yet you try your best to stay calm. Jungkook has every right to question you. You’re the bad person here.
“Then why? It’s just sex? He makes you cum that hard, that you don’t mind that he’s in a relationship for five years. So, you don’t mind that he’s cheating on his girlfriend? How good is the sex?” Jungkook shakes you by your shoulders. Suddenly, he looks mad. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him mad. That irritation flares inside you. You fail to stay calm.  
“Why would you care Jungkook?” You snap. Frustration and the urgency to get out of here getting the best of you. Partially because you need to see Jimin and partially because you feel like you can’t see Jungkook in the eye.
“Because I do. You know I fucking do. You gonna fucking hurt yourself in the end. Jimin is a god damn selfish prick to keep dragging you into this mess. He is fucking playing with your life─”
“Jungkook.” You sigh heavily. Annoyed.
“No, Noona. That’s the truth. I don’t fucking want you to hurt. And what’s your plan? What are you gonna do? Keep going? Until how long, how long are you gonna do this?”
“Well, not for so long apparently.” You resign. Give up completely. Can feel your eyes burn with freshly gathering up tears. “I only have a fucking year.” You’re ashamed yes. Guilty, yes. But the hurt comes to the surface yet again surpassing all the other emotions. Jungkook’s grip on your shoulders softens. So does his expression. Anger morphs into confusion and worry.
“What do you mean ‘a year’? Did you?”
“Yes”
And like that your conversation takes a drastic change. From Jungkook confronting you of your poor life decisions to you telling him what happened yesterday at a darn supermarket. By the time you end your story, you and Jungkook are sitting on the top step. Staring into nothing.
“Fuck.” That’s the only thing Jungkook mumbles in the end.
“Yeah, right? I don’t know what I should do Kookie.” You prop your chin on your hands.
“Well, uh- fuck, me neither. But Noona?” The question in his voice makes you turn toward him with a raised brow. “Why did the kid call you greedy? How’s any of that were your doing?” Fires out his curiosity.
Oh fuck!
See, you had done the same with Key yesterday. Had to give her a possible and logical explanation as to what happened. But you managed to do it by hiding the parts that needed to be hidden. Fuck yourself for forgetting to do the same with Jungkook. You blink at his innocent face for a moment. Then lower your gaze to your lap. What can you say anyway. You refuse to lie anymore.
“It’s not that it didn’t work, was it? You wished to be here.” He chuckles humorlessly. “Because you wanted to be with him?” Throws his head up.
“He asked me to stay. All right? I had every intention to─”
“But you didn’t, did you? You stayed because he asked? To be what, his mistress? My god Noona, why would you have to lower yourself that much?” Jungkook’s voice is filled with pure disbelief. Accusation. You feel that irritation raises its head once again. And it’s not even about Jungkook rudely pointing out your weaknesses. No. It’s the shame. Because every word he says is true.
“Do you think I don’t know Kookie. I know what type of stupid, selfish person I am. I couldn’t fucking help it though.” Jungkook tries to cut you off, but you don’t let him this time. “I tried my best but here I am. And I understand that you might want me to disappear from your sight this moment…” Tears start to prick at your eyes again. This time fueled by self-pity. “Like… I know, I’m an insufferable mess. A fucking disaster. And I promise you I would get myself out from your life soon as I can. I’ll figure a way─”
“Please don’t.” This time Jungkook succeeds in cutting you off. Sigh hard.
“Huh?”
“Please don’t say that and don’t move out.” Turns toward you completely. Takes your hands in his. Smiles sadly. So sadly, that your heart breaks. “I never told you, you’re any of that. I mean ugh- fuck I don’t know… It’s wrong but you said you only have a year, right? So, don’t try to live that year shutting everyone else from your life because some jerk knows how to make you cum hard.” You wince at his words slightly. He sighs heavily again. Looks you in the eye. You can see how his are glinting. Are those tears? “And I’m sorry that… uh- I didn’t want to confront you or anything. I was just worried Noona. I was so fucking scared you just left like that. Don’t do it again. And don’t move out. You can stay here. Please don’t. C’mon you listened to that asshole when he asked you to sacrifice your life, am I not even worthy enough to just consider living with me?” Pouts. Jungkook always knows how to get what he wants. In a different context, you would have rolled your eyes. But now, you feel oddly touched.
“So what? You want to drag yourself into my disastrous life as well? You want to live with a homewrecker? You still gonna take my side when I am the wrong person here? You want to become a part of the family too?” You laugh bitterly.
“What family?”
“Hoseok knows. And I think Taehyung knows too.”
“And you left me out of it?”
“Well, I didn’t tell them. We got caught. And if I can Jungkook, I’d keep you away from this mess. Away from me.”
Jungkook clicks his tongue. “Well, guess what? It’s not up to you to decide that. Just because I call you Noona, baby, it doesn’t mean you get to call all the shots.” Squeezes your hands. “I can make decisions for myself perfectly well. And I don’t care Noona. Homewrecker or whatever. Call me biased, I don’t care. I’m only worried about you. I’m gonna take your side even if you killed a man.” Changes his position instantly and he’s crouching down in front of you in a second. Your hands are still in his. Looks at you with puppy eyes. Innocent. You feel your heart shatter.
“Why Jungkook? Don’t be such a saint.” You try your best to well up your tears. “God, you’re too good. I feel like I’m taking fucking advantage.”
“And I’m so happy if you’re doing it. So what? Do we have a deal here? Don’t move out, hm? I really don’t want to lose my alien because she’s too horny.”
You scrunch up your face in disgust. Why would he have to say it like that? How amazing Jungkook is to make a joke out of this sordid situation, just after he was flat out confronting you a minute ago. You genuinely thought he was mad at you. That he’s ashamed of being a friend of yours. You thought that’s the reason for bringing it out. But it was care? Jungkook is such a pure soul. You stare at him. Failing to keep your tears in your eyes.
You don’t deserve him, now do you? You’ve lied to him so many times. Have used his good will so many times. You’re a bad person. But he wants to be a part of that, why?
Because he is a good person.
“Kookie.” You mutter weakly.
“Yes?”
“So, you’re fine with what I’m doing?”
“No, I’m not.” Shakes his head. Right when your brows start to merge in confusion he speaks. “I’m not fine with what you’re doing but I’m fine with you. No matter what you do, I am fine with you. Maybe… just maybe we’ll be able to stop it. Before you get hurt.”
You don’t think it will be the case at all. You can’t see a way out from Jimin. No. But still you just nod. Just for the sake of him. “What if I am to ruin your life too?” Questions.
“How?” You have no answer for that. So, he continues. “I don’t see a way you can do that. But if that’s the case, I’m okay with it. I like it when my life is happening. It was so dull before I met my alien.”
“Oh, my god, will you please…”
He just smiles. That tension and the soured emotions you felt a moment ago dissipating into thin air. Of course, they are. Jungkook always knows how to make your day better. You don’t know why he does that but when you think about it, he has always been there for you when something goes wrong. From the very beginning. He’s already a part of the mess you created, whether you like it or not. He was your escape when you had no place to go. He was the man who knew everything from the beginning. He was the sweet soul who never once judged you for your wrongdoing.
He was,
The man who shared a cigarette under a starry sky with you.
The man who understood why you did what you did.
The man who always made sure you smile.
The man who danced with you in his kitchen.
The man who’ll always have your back when things would crumble down into ashes.
That’s who he is. The only other person who you are deeply tangled with. The Bambi eyed muscle bunny who has a mattress in his living room.
And you adore him. Course you do. He’s very special to you. You only manage a light nod when he beams up. Hurriedly pull you to your feet. Crushes you in a bear hug. Funny. He is. But that’s how he is. Because he is,
Jeon Jungkook.
..............................................................................................................................
a/n- Leave a note if you enjoyed this one!
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dekariosclan · 3 hours ago
Note
Thinking about God Gale again…(especially since you made a great point about how he still loves you as a god! Which is so good and SO ANGSTY!) You may or may not be able to answer this, but I’d love to hear your thoughts: do you think God Gale would give up his godhood to be with a mortal Tav again? Would his love for Tav overcome his need for immortality and feeling like “he’s enough” as the God of Ambition?
As always: thank you for the wonderful meals about our boy 🙏 Dekarios the Divine bless you
OH DEAR GODS AN ANGSTY ASK
(ok, ok. I can do this. keep it together *hyperventilating into paper bag* just act normal goddamnit—)
Greetings fellow human! Hi! Thank you for this lovely ask, and rest assured that I am an extremely normal person who can totally handle emotional discussions about pixel people! NO I’M NOT CRYING—
Do I think God Gale would give up his godhood to be a mortal with Tav again?
Yes, I do—but only if he was able to be self-aware enough to realize that Godhood was not making him feel as happy or as content as Tav’s love did. Then his scholarly mind might finally begin to question what in the heavens he’d been thinking by giving that up just for ‘divine power’ which, as it turns out, really isn’t all that ‘divine.’
Would his love for Tav overcome his need for immortality and feeling like “he’s enough” as the God of Ambition?
The problem is that Godhood changes Gale (as it would change anyone) from a self-aware mortal to a divine being who can no longer relate to human experiences, including the passage of time. So while it’s confirmed that Gale still loves Tav, that love is now buried under weight of Gale’s hubris and godly ambitions, which would be very hard to overcome.
I know Raphael has the ending monologue where he predicts that Gale will eventually tear apart the pantheon, BUT, I personally don’t take that at face value as a guaranteed outcome. That speech reeks of sour grapes to me, and Raphael just being the smug bastard that we all know and love, so I think it’s less ‘Raphael’s Guaranteed Prediction’, and more ‘Raphael’s Fantasy Fanfiction’. Is it still possible? Sure, and I think if Gale did not romance Tav and did not get to experience their love then it is probably a more likely possibility.
But if Gale did romance Tav, then what I think is the tragic and more probable outcome is that Gale would eventually ‘wake up’ and realize that Godhood is not all that it’s cracked up to be, and decide to return home to Faerun and to Tav—but so much time has passed (and he did not realize it) that Tav and everyone he loved has now passed away.
AH GOD THE ANGST HURTS MY SPLEEN
But let’s focus on the GOOD outcome of him giving up Godhood and doing it in time to be with Tav again. It would be hard, and it would require Gale to REALLY overcome his insecurities and his pride, but I do think it is possible. Just looking at Gale’s ‘Godly Form’ you can see literal cracks in his exterior. He is not 100% unbreakable.
I still think at least a decent chunk of ‘human time’ would have to pass—we’ll say five years or so—before he would come to the realization.
And then one day (assuming Tav had not moved on and found new love) they would open their door, and—
“Hello,” Gale said, softly.
Tav blinked, for a moment trying to find their footing as their entire world spun out from under them.
“…Dekarios the Divine?” Tav asked, uncertainly. Gale’s clothes were simple robes, his skin no longer glowing with divine power. He looked almost as he had in Tav’s dreams, in all of their memories of when he’d still been a mortal.
Only this man’s eyes were much, much more tired. And filled with regret.
“No…I’m just plain old Gale Dekarios now. A most brilliant wizard of intentionally limited reknown.” He reached out, hesitantly, and took Tav’s hand in both of his.
For a moment they both stood silently, relishing the warmth of each other’s touch.
“Apologies. I hoped I’d be better at this.”
A smile was beginning to pull at Tav’s lips, even as their eyes filled. “At introductions?”
“At begging for your forgiveness.”
————— *One additional note: I simply must add that @lady-sapphyre wrote this excellent fic that tackles Gale giving up Godhood and I highly recommend it!
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satorushellokittypjs · 22 hours ago
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💙Boyfriend!Toji x Fem!Reader💙
Scenario: You Wore His Hoodie
‼️MNDI 18+ Warning: kinda NSFW‼️
Toji huffed, he was staring at you with a blank face. Yet the vein on his forehead was increasing in size.
“So..explain to me why my favorite hoodie has mustard on it?” Leaning into the couch, his arms on both sides of the back, he looked towards you. Too calm, Too peaceful, you knew that this was his expensive hoodie.
And now you’re gonna have to confess you’ve been wearing his hoodies in secret for a good while now.
You fiddled with your thumbs, hands clasped together and sweaty. This shouldn’t have been a problem right? It wouldn’t have been if you’d been more careful.
“Well..i had a corndog today..”
His eyebrows furrowed, oops maybe you should have started out with a different sentence.
“Babe..” he sighed and leaned his head on the back of the couch looking up at the ceiling. “How does eating a corndog..get mustard on my hoodie that’s SUPPOSE to be in my closet?” He lifted his head, “hmm? Lil’ mama i need some answers. You know how much that one in a life time hoodie costed.”
You gulped, yes, you knew it was his favorite custom made hoodie. The one that had his name engraved nicely into it. Very nicely, too nicely. And it has the kind of fabric that’s hard to come by.
He’s worn it all along. He’s never once gotten a stain on it, never once has he ever took it off unless he’s off to work.
And yet, here you were, deciding to wear IT of all times to that fair you went to with your friends yesterday. So, you know you’ll probably have to pay it all back.
You began to tear up, because your pretty brain went to the worst thoughts and so you began to cry out.
“I’m sorry!! I was wearing it yesterday to the fair because i wanted you to be there but you were at work. So as i was eating i accidentally dropped the mustard on your hoodie!! Please don’t break up with me!!” Tears were pouring as your cheeks were tinted and flushed as well as your nose.
Toji’s eyes widened, he sat there for a moment. Were you serious? He chuckled softly, “hon, calm down, calm down..” he leaned over and put his arms on his thighs, tilting his head. “So, you wore it that one time? Just so you would feel like i’m there?” He blinked softly. “Mm..i may let this slide..”
Your eyes widened and the tears ceased so easily. “Really?! Thank goodness, i won’t wear any of your hoodies or shirts or anything never again!”
Toji smirked, “so you do wear my things often? How cute..i should have known i’d have a little thief..” he leaned his hand over, holding your face securely.
“You still gotta repay me though, darling..what are you gonna do for me hmm?”
Your eyes widened as you stare into his serious ones. You didn’t know what to say at first. “I..i mean..what would you like me to do?” You whispered soft.
You suddenly see that look, the one he always gives you before he pounds you senseless into a mattress. The look that could make you come undone instantly. The look of pure insanity for you and you alone.
“Let’s just say for the whole night, you do as i say? Yeah? Does that sound reasonable enough?” He cooed, damn this man had a plan up his sleeve.
You begin to blush, not being able to hold back any naughty thoughts and thats what he wants you to think. Slowly, you nod your head.
“Good girl, now come with me, night starts early in winter”
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