#I know it feels from your POV like my response was inconsiderate but my POV is that it's minorly inconsiderate-

[wellfine]

wow...... MANY artists take requests randomly. this isn't the original anon, I just saw your post&was blown away by how rude it was. this anon wasn't even rude. artists are always putting out informationals with like guides on how to speak to them&it's the so egotistical&rude&controlling. I literally won't commission random artists anymore&only my close friends bc of these rules that change artist to artist&don't apply to everyone. anon asked you a simple question&was extremely nice about it&you chose to be an asshole in response. y'all act like you're training rabid dogs or something. just, say no, don't answer, or block the anon. like I can't figure out what ticked you off so much about that. talking to ppl like shit won't help them. it will just make people afraid to speak to you at all. anyways lol you're losing a follower&a fan. maybe let your anger out at the gym or something before you take it out on someone asking an innocent question. they truly probably thought "the worst they could say is no" &you proved them wrong. exactly the reason I no longer commission art from artists who aren't my close friends. my anxiety is too high to deal with the anger&your need to control how other people talk to you(even when it's not mean&they're just asking an innocent question).

Good lordt

Mate, I said "no hard feelings just letting you know this ask came across as rude" after we had a bit of a giggle about how funny it is that they hadn't stumbled upon the specific kind of fanart they wanted to see when IMO it's extremely common in the fandom, and then pointed them to another artist who had already drawn what they wanted to see.

"Don't ask/hint at artists to draw you things for free" is not being rude or demanding or egotistical, it's just a firm boundary. It's not a minefield to navigate, and artists who accept random requests usually say so somewhere in their bio/about. I also think blocking the poor anon would've been way more harsh and unnecessary than letting them know how their behaviour was perceived, cuz if they keep doing it, some other artist is going to be way meaner about it.

[azrielsshadows42]

A Court of Scales and Fire VI

Word Count: 4161 And I know nobody cares but, my character count for this (Including spaces) was exactly 22222

Warnings: Swearing, Eris hate from the ic (Inner Circle), protective Cassian, Eris is a bit of a prick, snakes, over-thinking

Chapter 5 Character Moodboards Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

Italics = thoughts

Bold = Draconic

Both = Telepathic communication (Colour will vary)

Y/n's Pov

I stood there a little stunned at how blunt Eris had been. That's ridiculous, you'll stay in Autumn, track them down and then I shall assist in getting them back to Elethairia. I was expecting more of a back and forth you know, like I don't trust you! You don't have a choice! My Court, my rules! My mission, my inhibitions, I'm going there with or without your permission Fire newt! Then we'd have a few rounds insulting each other, Cassian would cheer me on and eventually I'd have to get all up in his face like Listen jerk face, I don't care who you are, I've got a duty to fulfil, and you're not gonna stop me! Then, like a total badass, I would walk out onto the pavilion, Everest would fly into view in slow motion behind me, so it looked like I was the one with wings at the right angle, I'd jump of, land on Everests back and we'd ride to Autumn against the sunset.

I may have taken some creative liberties with that last part, but it would've been really cool if that did happen. While I was busy imagining how the interaction should have gone, everyone was looking at me. "Sorry, did you say something? I zoned out" Disappointed Azriel noises "Y/n" My focus went to Rhysand as he spoke to me, his expression was solemn. Who the fuck died in the five seconds I disassociated? "It's your choice, whether you choose to stay in Autumn or not" Oh, I did

It took me a second to realise they actually wanted me to give an answer, while they were all looking at me which I think is a little inconsiderate, who can make a decision with that much pressure? 1, 2, 3, 4 Fi-, five pairs of eyes just waiting for your response. Granted Amren wasn't actually looking at me, but her presence is intimidating. She should honestly count as three pairs of eyes all on her own.

On to more serious matters, I do need to decide if I stay there or not, staying there would be more convenient for me, and them, no one would have to winnow me there and back, but from my training I know that the main Autumn building is the forest house, which the majority of it is underground and is heavily guarded thanks to the former High lord's paranoia, perhaps that had changed since Eris ascended the throne, but I don't exactly feel like taking my chances with him. Being underground meant no windows that Everest could use to sneak in.

Ev, what do you think?

I think we need to find them and get home, I'll stay out of trouble See, I want to believe her, really, I do, but she doesn't have the best track record.

You know that Fire Newt is a High Lord, right? Specifically, the High Lord of the place we need to be in, meaning you can't do anything to him for attacking me despite the proximity. Judging by her grumbling lack of commentary, I could tell that was exactly what she had planned to do.

Fine. I promise I will not bite, scratch, hunt, or burn him. Nor will I drop him off a cliff, because according to your stupid high fae laws, that somehow counts as me killing him, even though gravity is clearly at fault, making it natural causes. She knows that's not how it works, but Everest has been adamant that cliff dropping should not count as murder ever since I explained to her that someone buying the last salmon while we were there to buy some doesn't count as stealing.

"I'll stay in Autumn" I could see Cassian tense in the corner of my eye. Rhysand and Feyre looked to each other, communicating through their bond. They locked eyes with me simultaneously which was a little unnerving, Rhysand was still unsure about me but I could tell that despite her mates worries, Feyre believed that I was telling the truth by the look in her steely eyes as she said to me "Be careful, he's dangerous, sleep with one eye open"

I began to wonder if I'd just made a deal with the devil. What exactly had Eris done to make them all react this way? Even Azriel hiding in his shadow puddle tensed at the High Lords offer. I got the feeling that he didn't like me very much, neither did Rhysand which both made sense, but I just felt like Azriel's dislike for me ran deeper.

Despite this, he still didn't like the idea of me going to Autumn and that raised my guard more than anything. "I'll send word to Eris, in the meantime, you should start preparing" There was a strange ominousness to his words that crawled up my spine. What the hell am I getting myself into?

-Time skip, 2 days-

Each member of the inner circle had come to me to give some kind of warning or bit of advice, all of it ran along the lines of, be careful, he's dangerous. Other than Cassian of course, whose advice was "if he tries anything, fuck him up and come here, we'll create an alibi for you" And while that plan would be ineffective, it was funny and soothed some of my anxiety knowing I could count on him if shit went south.

Today I would be willowed to Autumn. Oh, during the two days of preparations I learned it's called winnowing, not willowing and I have been saying it in my head wrong the entire time. I personally prefer my version, but I digress.

Everest was not particularly pleased with this development and demanded that I wear something she could hide in to avoid having to take a trip more than halfway across the continent. I wore a fur coat that was a little baggy on me for her to slip in, she hid around my neck with her tail curling around the top of my arm.

Rhysand walked in with Feyre on his arm, both dressed impeccably in distinctly Night Court attire. "Are you ready?" His voice was deeper than usual, just slightly, already slipping on the mask to speak to Eris. "As ready as I can be"

Rhysand would obviously be taking us there, Feyre was coming for diplomatic reasons, which as far as I've observed meant that Feyre told Rhysand she wanted to go as well, and he was all too happy to hang the stars for her. After about an hour-long argument, it was decided that Cassian could join for, as he so stoically put it 'my protection'. As if the sparring we'd done the past two days, and my years of training and experience wasn't enough.

Rhysand winnowed us there in the blink of an eye, and it was only as I felt Everest's claws dig into my shoulder that I wondered if he could sense her with his magic. I had put on a glamour to mask her magical signature, but I was unfamiliar with winnowing, would he feel her presence? It seemed either all my worries were for naught, or he was a good actor, for once we reached Autumn, he made no comment.

We all approached the entrance as one, I could see Fire Newt and another fae standing there. The High Lord was looking at my coat as if it had offended him and panic struck through me at the thought that he might sense her.

"High Lord Eris, General Madoc" Rhysand greeted them cooly, Feyre standing by his side mimicking his almost bored expression while Cassian stood like he thought the leaves were out to get him.

Eris greeted his fellow High Lord and Feyre, but pointedly ignored Cassian and I. The tension hung thick in the air as silence broke out, I almost flinched when Cassian shifted his footing making the leaves crunch. Everest moved, accidently tickling my neck and I masked it as a shiver, though thankfully Rhysand had chosen to break the spell that had befallen us.

"I expect updates on any progress, and we will be back in a week to ensure Y/n's well-being, there will be consequences if she is harmed here" The threat in his voice was clear. Just like that, they were gone, and I was left with Fire Newt. I should probably start calling him Eris in my head, otherwise I might call him 'Fire Newt' out loud, which I don't really wanna do. Actually, yes I do, but not while I need to be on his good side, I can call him that to his face when I'm back home.

The silence was becoming awkward as I waited for him to say something. "There is a room waiting for you. You are to settle in then join me at dinner so we can discuss a course of action" His words were clipped, as if I was making him late for something.

Eris turned swiftly, his coat flaring out behind him, but Madoc stayed in place, so I wasn't sure if I should stay, or follow. I was about to ask but small dainty footsteps sounded from inside. A lesser fae with a furred orange tail appeared in the doorway shyly, her head was bowed, and her dress was covered in stains. "This is Daphne, she will show you to your room, if you need anything, she will bring it to you"

She gave me a small smile and then started walking down the hall to a grand staircase. The entire floor was carpeted in red with golden embroidery, torches lined the walls giving it that homey glow, like candles. The walls were a dark spruce colour, and every door was had intricate engravings of different things, trees mostly, but some were of the woodland creatures like foxes, squirrels, and swans, it was beautiful but also, eerily quiet.

The entire way I had seen not a single other fae, the loudest sound was my foot falls, it felt like I'd stepped into a vacuum so nothing could be heard. Daphne stopped in front of a door with an autumn leaf, she opened it, motioning inside.

The room was furnished nicely, it had a four-poster bed with entirely too many pillows and a blanket draped over the bottom, it was so so soft. The room did in fact have a window, tinted with red, orange and yellow, giving the evening light that shone through a few extra tones. It was smaller than my room in night, I was actually a little thankful for that, it didn't seem as hollow. There was a desk with an obnoxiously fancy quill in ridiculously expensive ink and a velvet chair lay before it. A little gaudy in my opinion but was certainly better than what I was expecting.

I had honestly forgotten that Daphne was in the room until she cleared her throat softly. "Is there anything you need?"

"No, no everything is perfect, thank you, Daphne." She nodded her head politely and left the room on silent feet, closing the door behind her. Not even the hinges made a noise in this place. As soon as the door had closed, Everest wriggled out of the coat, immediately exploring the room, the thing that interested her the most was the ornate lamp, carved in the shape of a tree with more tinted glass as a covering to act as leaves that sat on the bedside table.

Everest landed on it, her claws making a soft clink as she did. She lay down, absorbing the heat it radiated, her scales slowly shifted colour, melding to the shades of the lamp until she looked like she was part of it. Show off

Everest's only response was a happy, satisfied purr as the lamp warmed her stomach. I looked around some more, opening the cupboards and drawers. Autumn clothes both male and female were there, ready to be worn. The dresser contained a small assortment of jewellery and clips. A brush made of acacia laid neatly on the right side, a comb on the left.

It was not long before a knock landed on the door. "Lady Y/n, I have been sent to tell you that it is an hour before you are expected to be at the dining hall, your servant will show you the way when the time arrives." My servant? Does he mean Daphne? Was she really expected to be my servant? Her hesitant demeanour made sense now.

I don't know about you, but I'm hungry, and I highly doubt I'm invited to dinner, I'll have to catch my own food, again.

You realise you're a dragon, right? You're supposed to catch your own food.

Everest growled at that. You realise you're a fae, right? You're supposed to be my food.

You don't like the taste of fae, you prefer other meats, but you'd rather eat exotic fruits if given the choice. I shot back.

Just shut up and primp, you have a prince to seduce. She teased. I saw the way he looked at you.

So did I, he looked like he wanted me dead. He's a High Lord, not a prince, and I'm not going to be seducing anyone. It didn't matter what retort I gave, she had already dived out the window, blending in with her surroundings and closed her end of the bond.

I didn't have time to question Everest's where she found that particular line of thought, I had to figure out what I was going to wear to dinner. After going in circles for a good five minutes, I knocked on Everests walls.

I need your help to pick out an outfit I heard her long, drawn out, suffering sigh reverberate through our connection.

Fine, go ahead.

I don't know whether I should wear Night court clothes, Autumn court clothes, or my armour.

...Does it matter?

Of course it does! They may have an alliance, but it is strenuous at best, so wearing Night court attire might be disrespectful. If I wear Autumn court clothing, there might be a traditional way to wear certain things, and wearing it wrong could be offensive, or worse, he could think I'm trying to mock them. But if I wear my armour, it could be seen as a threat. Now do you understand my predicament?

No, not in the slightest, you're such an over thinker, making everything so unnecessarily complicated She closed her side of the bond again, more firmly this time. Cassian was right, courtier work sucks.

I was about to start undressing myself when I got the feeling I was being watched. A tingling sensation from my upper back travelled up my neck, down my arms and to the tips of my fingers. I recognised that feeling, a smile broke out on my face as I opened the window. "Night Shade!" My two snakes, Night and Shade, named after the plant their venom was made of, slithered inside. "By the mother, I've missed you guys, my arms don't look like they're mine without you there." I offered both my hands to them, and they climbed up, crossing over each other behind my head, before coiling themselves around my arms, once again merging with my skin to become tattoos.

I'll wear Night court attire, that's what they like best, and they've had to travel a long way to get here. I knew that technically, they're not alive, they don't need food or water, they don't tire, and they don't have minds of their own, they're made entirely out of magic, but I'd made personalities for them in my head, and based on that, they preferred Night court clothes, it matches their scales.

Eris's Pov-when Y/n arrived in Autumn

I stood outside the forest house beside Madoc, the past two days could not have gone by any slower. I had gotten a response from Rhysand a mere hour after my proposal, what in the name of the Mother could she have needed to pack that required two DAYS to do it?

It was early evening now, the sun had just started to set causing soft shadows to be cast across the ground like blankets. Rhysand winnowed in with Feyre on his arm, both dressed like they were going to a sophisticated event instead of a three minute drop off. Had to give it to them, they had style, though it was dulled by the company they kept, the brute followed along slightly behind the witch, looking around like he expected an ambush.

I knew Rhysand made sure there was space to walk up to him as a power move, so that they could take their bloody time strolling up to the doors with bored expressions to grate on my nerves, and any other time, it would have, but right now, I was very thankful for the few moments it afforded me.

The witch wore a fur coat, white and grey with flecks of black, I assumed it was to fight off the Autumn wind, and she looked beautiful, but it didn't suit her, it gave her skin an ashen tone that I did not like. There were much better alternatives for warmth, like me, for example, I could warm her much quicker and much more effectively than that poor attempt at comfort.

What am I thinking? I thought the strange thoughts had ended in Night, this needs to stop, now. I greeted Rhysand and Feyre, ignoring her and the brute, I accepted his demand for updates and barely registered his threat as I noticed the witch shiver in my peripheral vision and chose to be ignorant of the way my hand twitched toward her, convincing myself it meant nothing.

Rhysand and his company left, it was just me, her, and Madoc. I stared at her, wondering if it was too late to send her back, call it off, anything so that she wasn't staying near me, making me act a fool.

"There is a room waiting for you. You are to settle in then join me at dinner so we can discuss a course of action" I tried to keep my voice professional, like how I talked amongst other High Lords, but it came out too curt, too harsh. Anything I said would just fuck things up further, as I had apparently lost all control of my vocal cords, so I left, striding quickly to my bedchambers.

My pace slowed once I reached my door, it was engraved with two baying hounds and a small acorn in each corner. I slipped inside, feeling like an imposter in my own home. I leaned against the door breathing deeply, trying desperately to get my thoughts in order.

Once my heart was beating at regular speeds I got up and started shuffling through my armoire (Fancy French word for a closet). I spent the better part of thirty minutes pulling out different cloaks and shirts, laying them flat against me to see what would look best to Y/n. Not that that mattered of course, I wasn't trying to impress her, merely appealing to my audience.

Madoc knocked on my door, reminding me that I had an hour left to get ready. I had chosen a dark under shirt with gold buttons, but I had yet to choose what should go over it. I considered the one with golden fire embroidery but decided against it, thinking it might make me seem juvenile, flaunting my abilities about, she knows very well what they are. Wearing the celebratory one would be entirely too flashy for a dinner, so I ultimately decided less was more, choosing one of my simpler over coats but no less elegant.

I finished prepping myself, making sure there was not a hair out of place. Madoc greeted me at the door to the dining room, and we walked inside. A smaller table had been moved in, seeing as it would just be the three of us, I didn't want the Lords bombarding her with irrelevant questions, many of them were firmly stuck in their ways and would scoff at the idea that a female could be useful beyond cleaning and child rearing. I took a seat at the head of the table, Madoc to my left, and a seat for the witch was left open on the other end. The room felt very empty without a large table to fill it. Traditional Autumn foods filled the table as she drew near, the massive arched doors swung open slowly.

Once she entered, the torches flared, the distance made her look small, details blurred, but I could still clearly see that her outfit originated from Night, my jaw tightened at the sight. I could see matching snake tattoos coiled around her arms, the rest of their bodies hidden beneath her dress. They reminded me of the snake under the mountain that had seemingly come from nowhere and bitten me, it sent a creeping feeling up my spine to my neck where the serpent had sunk its fangs into.

As she got closer, this dress admittedly suited her much better than that dreadful coat, aided by the firelight, her skin now looked warm instead of ashen. "High Lord, General" We both nodded back to her, and I motioned toward the empty seat. Once she was seated, she folded her hands over her lap, waiting for permission to begin eating. "Please, help yourself"

I tried desperately to ignore it, but I couldn't help but take notice of what she did and did not select. The mashed potatoes and roast beef along with the tangy coleslaw made it to her plate, but not the steamed broccoli or baked gem squash. She prefers savoury food. We eat in silence, it was a little awkward but not terribly tense, once finished I sought more information.

"Exactly what weapons are these people smuggling from Elethairia?" She looked up at me and our eyes locked for the first time tonight, it sent tingles through my traitorous body and my heartbeat picked up.

"They've been smuggling all sorts of weapons for centuries, but what we are concerned about is the newest ones, a type of stone that can store magical energy, problem is, some of them don't have a limit, but the more magic stored inside, the more unstable it is."

"How come you are only concerned about it now?" It seemed suspicious that this was suddenly a problem, why hadn't anything been done about it before?

"Like I said, they've been doing this for centuries, they've gained experience and size, they have more than one base of operations and apparently the guy who runs it is scary enough that they'd rather live a life in prison or die than talk. It feels like fighting a hydra, you stop one and two more show up."

Depending on how many they have, it could be extremely dangerous, people are still recovering from under the mountain and Hybern's war, having explosions everywhere will make this worse, the court can't handle much more, Beron really did a number on these people. If only I'd been stronger, gotten rid of him sooner, stopped the tyranny so fae could hope again, stop fighting each other for the scraps Beron dangled in front of them. This is my fault, and I will fix this.

"I plan to find the shipment, and bring it back to Elethairia where they can be activated in a safe place so that no one can use them"

"What about the fae responsible, what is to happen with them? Are they supposed to go free?"

"They can be dealt with later, the main priority are the explosives" My face hardened. She was planning to leave them here where they could harm Autumn civilians while she ran off and played hero?

"I promise, once we have the opals out of their hands, I can come back and assist with arresting them, but they've already desolated one of our larger towns, almost five thousand died, I think you can see why this takes precedence. You can decide how they are to be punished seeing as this is all taking place in your territory."

Yes, begrudgingly, I could see why obtaining the stones was more important than obtaining the people, and the sooner one happened, the sooner the other could follow. I nodded showing that I understood. "Will you be needing anything else?"

"No, all good, everything is ready, and I'll be out of your way as soon as possible" My heart clenched and tugged at my insides to do or say something to prevent it. I found that I once again had no control over the words coming out of my mouth.

"Perfect, we can start first thing tomorrow" She froze, and even Madoc looked to me in question

"I'm sorry, we?" Too late to turn back now.

"Yes, We"

Chapter 7

Taglist: @imma-too-many-fandoms @rcarbo1

A/n: Did anyone get the game of thrones reference right at the beginning?

[felidaemelody]

Engineer says trans rights

POV: You just posted cringe. Here's the Engineer's response.

Now listen here, partner. That was mighty cringe of you to say; very inconsiderate and insensitive too, might I add. Now as you know, I'm an engineer; that means I solve practical problems. But I'm also a bonafide cowboy, which means I've got a lot of heart, too. Now what you just posted to the internet from behind the comfort and safety of your screen was very rude. These people were just minding their own business, having a swell get together over the web, when you came along like a buffalo in a china shop and attacked their brave hearts with reckless abandon like they aren't feeling creatures, like you are. Now, what I've seen is mighty disappointing. I expected more from you, partner; I really did. You can't just go around spreading flames of hate and ignorance like the flames won't eventually burn you, too. Homosexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Transgender… they've got a whole herd of problems to deal with without you addin' to them. Acceptance doesn't cost you a dime, partner. Now, I don't mind a bit if you follow a different religion or none at all but, at least how it was taught to me, we were taught that god loves ALL of his children. That means EVERYONE, not just the ones that conform to a status quo. What's important is to respect and tolerate ALL your fellow cow-wranglers, no matter how strange they are.

That applies to everyone, too; not just minorities. No, the furries aren't going to burn in hell. I've been there, and besides Pyro, there weren't any down there that I could see. The Alterhumans weren't sent down there, either; so quit using god's name in vain like a baby. Also, while we're talking about counter-cultures and other disrespected groups, I'm down-right sorry 'bout all the times I've indirectly insulted my wonderful feminine cowboys by calling my enemies "sissies".

Well, now that's out of the way, I'm off to go procreate with you feminine parental figure. Have fun trying to cap on Hightower!

[lucianalight]

Why can't I help feeling that if Mobius had shown Loki this memories he would have said Odin had died because Loki had banished him. Same about Thor. Your brother is dead and you too are dead because of Mad Titan. These memories were very well manipulated. Loki doesn't know Odin would have sentenced him to death. He doesn't know that he would stay in a cell for a year. That Frigga defend Odin's bad parenting. That Frigga died because of Aether, not Loki's words. That Thor is alive!

I completely agree with you. That is what Mobius would have done. What he did was psychological manipulation and gaslighting. He lied and explained the events in a way to break Loki's walls and make him vulnerable to accept his POV and offer. Which is actually a method of torture in interrogation that is specially used on political prisoners where I live. The part when Mobius lied that Loki was responsible for his mother's death specifically reminded me of them and made me sick to my stomach. What they do is that during many physical and psychological torture sessions they tell the prisoner who is been kept in isolation from the outside world for so long(in solitary confinement with no contact to their family), that one of their parents(usually their mother) has died as a result of their political acts of resistance and fights(because they couldn't bear so much worry and anxiety for their child in prison). This usually results in the prisoner breaking and accepting whatever they want from them and in some cases it cause them to commit suicide.

Now imagine what kind of psychological torture Loki went through by what Mobius said to him, right after his time with Thanos and his history of suicide. Which is why I'm baffled that many fans and also the creators consider it as therapeutic and what Loki "needed"! I don't expect that people be aware of this form of torture. But I thought the difference between psychological manipulation and a therapy session is obvious. Apparently not. I guess they think Loki needed that because they see him a villain who deserve this.

And don't get me start on thinking that Mobius cares about Loki, or according to creators he is inherently good! You don't constantly belittle, manipulate and insult the person you care about. Mobius is an agent specializing in catching dangerous variants. So the way he sees Loki is a tool to help to him catch this variant who is escaping TVA and for doing that he uses every way he knows like psychological manipulation and using Loki's weakness against him.

The idea that Mobius is inherently good is laughable. He is working for a fascistic/totalitarian organization that inflict its will on people, killing them(according to Miss Minutes introduction for sth as unimportant as being late for work!), doing acts of slaughter an genocide because someone dared to break the rules of their "sacred timeline"! Rules that no one knows exist in the first place! And he is OK with all of that and has the audacity to condemn Loki for his actions under mind influence and torture. And he doesn't question his ideology. Even when Loki challenges him to do so, because it gives him his glorious purpose. He is the example of every person who works in corrupted systems because it gives them some privilege and they're so lazy and inconsiderate in thinking, that they don't care how it affects the people who are suffering or being oppressed. Sure, he shows care and emotions towards some people, but selected morality is not inherent goodness. To TVA and Mobius the law breakers are not even people, they're "variants" and they don't treat the variants like beings who have right to exist and choose their own path.

In fact, Mobius and on a larger scale some of the TVA agents are the exact examples of the concept of banality of evil . That evil acts are not necessarily done by evil people. Instead, they can simply be the result of bureaucrats dutifully obeying orders. People who don't consider the consequences of their actions and don't question the propaganda and ideology they have been brainwashed with.

[soundsgoodfeelslikeshit]

Brother Knows Best

Anonymous said: 

would you be willing to write a john b twin one where his sister is just super rebellious and has completely changed who she was and he’s worried? just super protective 

Summary: Everyone knew that you were this innocent little girl. You rarely drank, and you almost never smoked or did any kind of drug. That was until Big John went missing. It started your year of spiraling and none of your friends, or even your brother knew how to help you. 

“Just one more drink,” You friend called from beside the gas station you were all sat at. 

“One more drink always turns into too many.” You said with a laugh. 

“Well that’s the fun in it,” She said handing you another beer. 

“Yeah, yeah.” You said taking a large gulp of the beverage.  

A few hours later you were so gone you were seeing multiples of everything you looked at. You never liked to drink, let alone get crossfaded but here you were off your ass. 

“I should probably be going,” You slurred to your friends who just waved a goodbye. 

You started your walk home, but you could barely even stand straight, It was dark and you were sure if you just laid in the grass on the side of the road you’d be alright for the night. You decided that was your best bet and you plopped down into the grass, falling asleep to the feeling of your head spinning in circles. 

................................................................................................................................ 

When you woke up you had no recollection of any of the events from the night prior. You felt intoxicated still though, so you were sure you had been drinking. 

“Glad to see you made it home.” John B said sarcastically. 

“Fuck off, JB.” You said, pushing yourself off the couch with a groan. 

“No, you know we had to pull you out of a ditch on the side of the road at 2am last night? How inconsiderate and irresponsible can you be?” John B asked, raising his voice. 

“Yeah, I’m the irresponsible one.” You said with a laugh. 

“What if some random person came and took you, played a little game of cut the girl up and then threw your body else where?” 

“Well then maybe I’d feel better than I do now. Why do you care all of a sudden? You left me to deal with my emotions all by myself for months after dad - dad disappeared. You shut everyone out and when I finally find a way to cope you suddenly don’t want me to “go down that path”. Fuck off John B, don’t act like you fucking care now.” You said, pushing past him and towards the bathroom. 

“That’s not fair. I didn’t shut everyone out, I just kept to myself.” 

“In case you didn’t notice that’s the same thing.” You ended the conversation by slamming the bathroom door. 

Unbeknownst to you, your friends had been sitting on the porch listening to your argument. Entirely siding with John B, they just wanted their friend back who was sweet and kind, and didn’t do self-destructive things. 

After taking a long shower, you got out and started getting ready for another party that you were going to. You pulled on black cutoff shorts with a cropped crotchet tank top. Throwing on a minimal amount of makeup you shrugged and then let your hair air dry into its natural curls. 

“Where you going?” Kie asked curiously as you stepped out of the bathrom and walked into the living room. 

“Party with some friends.” 

“Maybe it’s not such a good idea to go out again, you still look hungover.” John B said. 

“That’s the fun, big brother.” You said with a shrug. 

“It’s fun until you get addicted,” JJ said softly, looking at you carefully. 

“I’ll deal with that when we get there.” 

“I was hoping you’d stay in tonight we have a few things we wanted to go over for restorations of the HMS.” Pope said with a smile. 

“I’ll be back later, we can talk then. They’re expecting me. Speaking of which I gotta go.” You said, checking the time on your phone and then shoving it back into your pocket. 

John B put his head in his hands as he watched you walk out of the Chateau and get in your car. 

John B’s POV 

“I just don’t know what to do anymore. Like I get the urge to party and relax, but she’s turning to drugs and ending up in ditches. I don’t want to have to tell someone my underaged sister needs help with addiction, but that’s where it’s heading.” 

“I get it man, addiction is hard to watch. We’ve tried to warn her, maybe she just needs a heart to heart from you. No bullshit yelling, and blaming each other. You just need to talk it out and go from there.” JJ said. 

I nodded my head and picked up the beer I had been drinking. 

“Why don’t we just have a fire and relax a little bit?” Kie asked, sensing the tension I was radiating. 

“Yeah, I liked that idea.” Pope said with a smile. 

................................................................................................................................ 

About an hour into the fire I heard my phone ring. I raised an eyebrow and then moved to pick it up. “Y/N” being written out across the screen. I picked up and instantly heard crying and was concerned. 

“Y/N, hey calm down what’s wrong,” I asked getting up quickly. 

“Please-please come ge-get me,” she sobbed into the phone. 

“Where are you at?” I asked, worriedly. 

“Amelia’s house, ju-just down th-the stree-et from a gas station.” 

“I’ll be there in a second, what happened?” I questioned as I grabbed my keys and got in the van. 

“I-I’ll see you when you get he-here.” She hiccupped before hanging up. 

“Where are you going?” Pope asked. 

“Getting Y/N, she called crying.” I said, watching as worried expressions flashed over my friend’s faces. 

................................................................................................................................ 

Y/N’s POV 

I sat under a tree, shaking. Everything had gone too far tonight, too much alcohol, too many people, too many questions about everything. I felt myself spiraling and I was terrified. 

“Hey, you okay?” John B’s voice sounded out. 

My eyes met his, and instantly his face was covered in worry. 

“I just wan-wanna go home.” 

He nodded and helped me stand. Wrapping his arm securely around my shoulder, he led me to the van where I could see all of our friends staring at me worriedly. 

................................................................................................................................ 

The next morning I woke up, tucked in my brother’s arms. I looked up to see John B staring down at me. 

“Can we talk about what happened last night?” He asked carefully. 

I nodded my head and sat up. 

“I went into that party so ready to just be carefree. There were guys offering to get me drinks, I was dancing with everyone, and people were wanting to hookup. I didn’t mind anything, but then there was questions about how I was doing and how I was coping with everything. It was like a big slap in the face, I realized I never dealt with anything. Everything was just being buried with all of the parties I was going to. I started feeling myself spiral so I called. I realized you were right and I shouldn’t be coping this way.” You said with a sigh. 

“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, but I’m glad you concluded your actions were irresponsible and that they’re the wrong way to cope. I was so worried about you, all of us were. You slowly stopped being the responsible friend who took care of everyone, never drinking to being this completely different person. You slowly stopped caring about your well-being and completely changed who you were. I just wanted my sister back.” John B said, tears welling in his eyes. 

You breathed out a sigh as tears fell onto your cheeks and you embraced your brother. You knew it was going to be a long road to becoming the girl you were before, but you were sure with the help of your brother and your friends you could do it. 

[j-amespotter]

★ august [pt. 1] - s. b.

“you weren’t mine to lose.”

Pairing: Sirius Black x Slytherin!Reader, Regulus Black x Reader (mentioned)

x. x. x.

Summary: As one of the Order of the Phoenix’s freshest recruits, love certainly was not on Sirius Black’s mind the summer after he finished school – especially not with a Slytherin, who just happened to be his brother’s girlfriend.

Genre/Warnings: angst, alcohol, language, mentions of death & war, infidelity, implied smut 

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: august but from the guy’s pov?? i think yes. this was the first one-shot i wrote for this series so let me know what you think! lmk if you wanna be added to my taglist. p.s. i do not condone cheating!!!!!! 

masterlist

Your lips were centimeters apart. It seemed too late to change course, but he had to ask. He had never done something so reckless, which for him, was saying something. “Are you sure?”

He was scared of the answer. One look at you told him you were scared of answering. “We’ve never… I mean, I’ve never done this before,” you whispered. Your noses grazed against each other, tantalizingly close. 

His hand hovered underneath your robes. It felt large against your bare stomach. “We can stop.” 

“I don’t want to stop.” With one hand around his neck and the other on his chest, you tugged him closer. The moment your lips met erased his doubts so fully that if he stopped to think about it, it would have scared him.

Your shoes slipped off as he delicately lifted you off of your feet. Gently, he laid you down on his bed and paused to stare at how small and trusting you looked in the moment. It was only your fifth visit to his flat, yet you already looked like you belonged. He would never have expected someone from his forgotten life to fit into his current one so unquestionably. 

*One Week Earlier*

It was getting easier and easier to slip away from Regulus these days. While you were accustomed to seeing less of each other during the summer holidays, now you were more distant than ever. You knew why, of course. Being a Slytherin, you were privy to an entire host of secrets – Regulus was too. Hogwarts’ rowdiest, most divided class graduated just a month earlier, and many of your friends, if you could even call them that, had chosen a side in this war. His side. 

You knew Regulus agreed with the Dark Lord’s philosophies and marveled at his promises. However, it was not until this school year that you realized exactly how much your boyfriend worshipped the elusive man responsible for the murders of so many innocent people. He would scour the Daily Prophet for news, eager but not uneasy. He trailed after Snape, Avery, and Mulciber, and the whisperings about the three of them were hardly positive. It was rumored that all of them had been "marked." You didn’t know exactly what that meant but worried Regulus was next. 

He sensed your fear but didn’t say much to soothe you. Perhaps he thought he could convince you to join him – or, at least, stand by his side as he signed away his services. You weren’t interested. In fact, you were terrified. Though your family was prominent, prosperous, and pureblood, they never participated in what your father coined to be “blood politics.” Your indifference, which occasionally transformed into blatant disgust, over the growingly common prejudice among your peers ostracized you from your fellow Slytherins. You managed to keep your reservations to yourself for the sake of House unity but could no longer remain silent. Not when your childhood love drifted further and further away from you. 

It was slow, but of course, there was a final straw. In his last letter, Regulus wrote that his cousin Bella was teaching him how to duel “the proper way.” As someone who saw nothing substandard in your Defense Against the Dark Arts education thus far, you could only imagine what Bellatrix Lestrange would consider to be the “proper” way to duel. You had limited experience with the woman, having only caught glimpses of her as a child at Grimmauld Place and as Regulus’s date to her wedding. Nonetheless, the rumors about her were becoming increasingly hard to ignore.

So you sought the one person you thought may listen to you. Of course, there was the issue of finding him. You had no idea where he lived, though you doubted he would be thrilled to meet you, especially at his place of residence. You thought of writing to him but could not risk seeing and sending the words you had not yet uttered aloud. 

Ultimately, you decided that the best course of action was to find him in public, no matter how difficult it would be. You knew if you willed it hard enough, fate would bring him to you – and you understood the power of your love better than anyone. 

It took six days of solitary walks through Diagon Alley for you to finally find him. It wasn’t easy at all. You managed to keep your parents at bay by entrusting your safety with your pureblood Slytherin status. However, what was once the most bustling shopping center in the Wizarding World became drearier by day. More wanted posters appeared on brick walls as the number of disappearances grew. Within days, there were fewer groups of visitors for you to huddle behind without drawing suspicion. 

He was in the Leaky Cauldron with a shorter man, someone you recognized to be Peter Pettigrew. They were huddled together but deep in conversation. Actually, it seemed as though he was doing most of the talking. You found yourself staring at his muscular, tattooed arms as he gestured wildly at Pettigrew, who stared at him with wonder, excitement, and apprehension all at once. Despite the normal-looking exchange, both men gripped their wands tightly and took turns periodically glancing over their shoulders. 

Peter was too far away for you to read his lips, but checked his watch and jumped in surprise. You inched closer, hoping to find an in for your mission. Finally, you were close enough to hear his parting words. “Sorry, Padfoot... Mum’s waiting for me. You know how she gets, especially now.” 

“Alright, mate. Get home safe. I’ll see you… when I see you.” 

You were not stupid. You had no idea what that meant, but judging by Peter’s stiff nod, there was definitely a predetermined meeting time and place that they could not risk anyone overhearing. Given the circumstances, you could hardly blame them. 

Your interaction with Sirius Black was limited, but you had heard enough about him to know that he was reckless, devil-may-care, and according to his brother, inconsiderate of everyone’s feelings. Hearing the sincerity in his goodbye to his friend sounded quite the opposite, or perhaps was just a sign of the times. 

Peter scurried away and out of sight. You saw Sirius reach for a pouch in his pocket, out of which he scooped a handful of Sickles. They clattered onto the table. Before he finished counting his change, you slid into the seat across from him. 

Startled, Sirius stood and pointed his wand at you. His motions were seamless. It was as if he could kill you with a single swish. You hardly had time to wonder if you would be as skilled with your wand as he seemed to be when you finished school. “Listen, I just want to talk. Please sit down.” There weren’t too many other customers in the pub, but there was no doubt your exchange was attracting attention. 

Sirius sneered at you. “Why would I want to talk to you? Did he send you? Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it.”

It surprised you that he knew who you were. Regulus was convinced that Sirius abandoned the Black family once and for all and did not care for his extracurricular activities. Granted, much of your scheme relied on the fact that he did. “No, he didn’t send me. I need to talk to you about him, actually. In private.”

He looked apprehensive but curious. You sighed in relief as he lowered his wand and sat down, “Whatever you have to say, you can say it here.” 

“Please,” you tried again. “I’m no threat to you.” 

He stared at you, and in his pale eyes you saw something so familiar yet so foreign. “Fine. Follow me.” 

He swiftly led you out of the pub. Although you were eager, you maintained an acceptable distance from him. The air was sticky; you could feel your flushed cheeks. You always hated summer because of the unbearable weather and because it was always the longest you would spend apart from Regulus. However, you found yourself entranced by the way Sirius’s neckline glistened. There was a warm glow radiating off of the little bits of his exposed skin, slightly tanner than his brother’s. You were surprised at how easy it was to distinguish these details. You always considered yourself to be too young for and morally above noticing Regulus’s physique. It was far too shallow to remark on a man's physical beauty and far too desperate when all you could see were his neck and arms. 

“Get your license yet?” 

You shook your head. “No, not yet.” 

“Okay,” said Sirius, extending a hand. “I’ll take you with me.” 

You were used to Side-Along Apparition, so your surprise was more at your surroundings. You landed on a street in front of a very tall building. Craning your neck to observe the one in front of you, you asked, “Where are we?” 

“London,” he answered vaguely. He had not let go of your hand. 

“I figured. But this looks like a Muggle building.” 

“Got a problem with that?” He snapped, and as if he had just realized what he was doing, he let go of your hand as if it was rotting. 

You internally groaned at how sweaty it was. “N-No. I’ve just never been around here, that’s all.” 

You waited for a snarky response, but received none. Instead, he pushed open the door of the building and led your to what you could only assume was his flat. 

“I would say make yourself at home, but don’t.” Sirius did not have guests often, and when he did, they definitely did not include his little brother’s girlfriend. Damn, he thought to himself. Wait until James hears about this. 

You were still in school – although, so was he, just a month earlier. But you were in a rival house. And worst of all, he had seen you in the same position, perched onto a sofa with inquisitive eyes, when you both were children at his parents’ house. It was curious to him that you looked just as out of place then as you did now. 

“I know this is strange, but I have no other choice.” Your voice broke off and for the tiniest millisecond, he felt sorry for you. “I think he’s… I mean I feel that… that R-Regulus is planning on joining the Dark Lord.” “Call him Voldemort, will you?” Sirius interrupted irritably. 

You flinched. “I really shouldn’t.”

Though he was annoyed, he understood and did not probe you further. “Listen, I don’t know what you thought trying to find me, or even how you found me for that matter, but I can’t help you. I know what you’re worried about and you’re probably right to be worried. But I tried talking to him before I ran – I mean, left. He won’t budge. He’s in too deep. Sorry,” he added. 

Your eyes glossed over. “I figured you’d say that.” Tears streamed down your rosy cheeks. “S-Sorry, I don’t mean to load this on you. I just feel so alone sometimes. And so scared for him. He really has no idea what he’s getting himself into, does he?”

Sirius stared at you, contemplating whether he should tell you what his dim-witted brother was really getting himself into. He only started to see it for himself now. “I’m not sure what I should tell you, but I understand. If you want to talk about it…” 

You glanced at him in wonder, cocking your head to the side. “Er, thanks. But I should get home. My parents must be worried. Can I Floo out of here?” 

You looked even more upset than before, and Sirius felt guilty for leaving everything so unresolved. Although, should he really care about your feelings? Anyone who willingly chose to spend time with a tosser like Regulus probably deserved whatever hell he would put them through… although… 

“Yeah, I installed one,” he said, gesturing to the fireplace. 

Wiping your eyes nimbly, you stood and smoothed the front of your robes. “Thank you. Sorry if it was a bother.”

“No problem. I know… I know that you aren’t like them. And I know what you’re going through. Probably better than anyone.”

You smiled at him, and without warning, his stomach flipped. It couldn’t have been the first time he’d seen you smile, but it was definitely the first time you smiled at him. Maybe you had once before when you were children. For now, all Sirius seemed to hone in on was the soft dimple on your right cheek and the way your eyes lit up almost automatically. 

“If you ever need to talk about it, you can always come around here.” He knew it was strange for him to offer you that, but you had known each other for so long. You both had the same doubts… perhaps you lacked the bravery to act on them as he did, though he could hardly fault you for that. 

“Thank you, Sirius,” you said softly. 

☆

It was more than sex. You would spend hours talking, entangled in his bedsheets, watching the sunrise together for several mornings in a row. Sirius glanced warily at the clock on his bedside table. “Where do your parents think you are?”

You were drawing circles on his bare chest. “I told them I was with him.” 

Despite being the reason you sought him out, it became an unspoken rule between the two of you to not mention his name. The subject of Regulus and, by extension, the war became as taboo as saying Lord Voldemort. 

He hated it. He tried to convince himself that he was acting on lust, that he just needed to relieve his stress of the war and Order training, but he couldn’t. Not when every time you arrived unannounced, he scribbled excuses to get out of dinner with the Potters, or drinks with the boys, or hell, even Order meetings. 

Sirius wished he could explain it to James. Surely, his best friend would convince him of the stupidity of engaging in an affair with his brother’s girlfriend. But then he would watch you wearing his shirt, sipping wine, and dancing barefoot in his kitchen. He would imagine you wrapping your arms around his waist on his new motorcycle and his insides would implode. Then, he would decide that he did not want to be dissuaded. He was falling for you. One look at you told him you were falling for him too. 

“Where have you been, mate? The parents are driving me up a wall about you. Lily’s convinced you’ve got a girlfriend or something,” joked James. 

They were sitting in the pub on a night Sirius knew you had a family function to attend. He swallowed bitterly as he wondered whether or not Regulus would be there. Were you together right now? Did you confess? Was he angry? Were you crying?

Noticing his best friend’s silence, James raised an eyebrow. “Do you? Have a girlfriend or something?”

Sirius knew he could not lie to James, but he debated exactly how much he wanted to delve into the subject. “Or something.” Before he could he stop himself, the secrets were spilling off of his tongue. 

When he finished, Sirius wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse. He tried to focus on James’s hazel eyes as they widened at every turn in the story. “Mate… you’re fucked.”

He tried not to ponder at these words too hard in the hopes that he wouldn’t splinch himself Apparating back to his flat. It didn’t shock him to see you there – he had allowed you too much access to everything and he had no intention of taking it back.

Emerald green dress robes were slipping off of your shoulders. With pearls draped around your neck and pieces of hair straying out of your topknot, Sirius could not help but swoon at how beautiful you looked. He wondered briefly what it would have been like if you had chosen him over Regulus. What if there was no foul play? Would you be happy? Or would you run away, as you had with his brother?

He was still tipsy. James’s warnings ran scattered in his brain, ringing like a siren. But they mattered little now that you were in front of him. “How was–” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you interrupted. Then you stepped forward and tugged at his half-unbuttoned shirt, pressing your lips against his. “Make me forget.” 

“Consider it done.” 

Your bare limbs tangled together as you shared wine-drunk, open-mouthed, sporadic kisses, giggling and whispering words of sensual encouragement. How did you become so in sync in a matter of weeks? Sirius had never fallen this hard. “I’m yours, (Y/N).” 

You hummed in satisfaction, fingers wound up in his hair. 

“I mean it,” he urged. “I love you.” 

You didn’t respond. Strange, he thought to himself. You never hesitated in reciprocating, ever. When he jumped, you jumped with him, no questions asked. He glanced at the clock from over your shoulder and watched it strike midnight. It was the first of September. “You’re due at King’s Cross today, aren’t you?”

You nodded, not meeting his eyes. 

He chuckled darkly. All of a sudden, he felt cold and strangled. He wanted to push you far away and yet, pull you close to him so you had no hope of escaping. “Will you write to me?” 

“Sirius…” 

“Don’t,” he snapped. “Don’t say my name like that. I should have known… fucking snake.” 

He hadn’t let go of you. “I’m sorry darling,” you whispered, “but I can’t give up on him yet.” 

It was all he had to hear. He couldn’t think of how he was going to recover from this, not when you were lying right in front of him. “I think you should go.” 

“M-Maybe someday we can–” “Forget it.” He should have seen this coming from the second you walked up to him in the pub. You had come to him for Regulus and now you were leaving him for Regulus. Yet another bit of happiness his brother snatched away from him. But even so... he was your first and Regulus would never know. He would never know that you lost yourself in him. His no-good elder brother. But none of that mattered now, not when you were going back to him. After all, at the end of the day, you were his. 

I should have known. Sirius silently cursed at himself, watching the retreating figure of the girl he had fallen in love with. He should have known that you were always on borrowed time. You were gone quicker than the seasons change, and left with him your sweaty, sun-kissed memories. 

PART 2

Taglist: @iwritesiriusly @mads-bri @she-seeks-magic @sarcasticallywitty15 @lunalovecroft @fific7 @u-no-poo​

[ghost-orion]

hi! i'm an able-bodied writer who would like some advice about writing a physically disabled character!

I'm a physically able-bodied person (undiagnosed mental neurodivergence) and I am writing a story about a character who is physically disabled. I have never written a character like this nor do I know many physically disabled people. (My mom works in a spec ed school where I sometimes help her, plus I am a pedagogy student so I know some stuff about accessibility for physically impaired students etc, but I for sure don't know anyone on a deeper level, though I have met a lot of peeps.) So I would like so ask some of you lovely folk about your opinions on disabled characters, what should I avoid and what should I show. If you don't feel like it, feel free to skip this post.

My character is called Max, she is a 13 year old girl. She is spunky and cheeky, but also very curious about everything around her, she can be quite nosey and sometimes inconsiderate of others' feelings. She isn't confident in her looks, like many 13 year olds, she is tall for her age (about 5'8) and skinny, she's self-conscious about how others perceive her. She's a great liar, something she had to learn to avoid her mom's Wrath™. Her home life isn't great, but in the story she moves to a place that is much kinder to her, where her confidence can flourish and she can be as chaotic as she wants, a place where she'll find understanding and love.

She is a cane user, but she is in more pain than she would admit to herself in this moment in her life. She has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, but undiagnosed, her cane is rented because she is still growing. She also uses braces on some days but not others. I plan on not making her disability the focus of the story, but I do plan on using it as a framing device: because she can't walk long distances/go up stairs easily/go places by herself, she has to spend time with certain other characters who live in more accessible houses, have a car, have the time to be with her etc. The story is not said from her point of view, it's from a point of view of another character who will be getting close to her during the duration of the story. Her pain and fatigue will be mentioned, as well as her hypermobility (in her fingers for example), and I might include a scene where at one point (it's not a very long story), she dislocates a joint like a hip or a shoulder. She isn't in contact with many people at all, but she knows and is friends with one other disabled person, the girlfriend of the character who's POV this is from.

I would love to hear out your thoughts and concerns if you have any, feel free to let me know, here in reblogs, in DMs, in asks, wherever. <3

Edit: Oh my goodness Thank you so much guys!!! I have gotten so many wonderful responses and tips, I am very grateful for each and every one! I have decided to change her cane from being a rented one (which I thought would be good for someone who is still growing) for a cheapo adjustable one. It makes much more sense and yeah, I can make her decorate it, which I was a bit sad I'd have to omit when I decided on the rented/borrowed one. I have also shuffled the series of events to accommodate for her getting tired and adjusted her character a bit as well. I appreciate your replies so much and I am very grateful you were so sweet to me. <3 I wish you a good day! (Btw this doesn't mean that I don't take any kore criticism/tips, I am still very open!)

[riversofmars]

Here's a prompt I hope you'll do. River finds the TARDIS in Sheffield empty and decides to hang around deep inside when the Doctor and the fam (or just Yaz) get back to go on a trip without knowing River is there.

Thank you for two brilliant prompts! Fair warning, I don’t think this will be what either one of you expected lol. But I hope you’ll like it anyway! I've been agonising over this for quite a while. I was getting a bit fed up with myself cause I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot in my writing at the moment, so I wanted to try something different. With both of these prompts referring to the TARDIS, I decided to try and write it from the TARDIS’s POV! It was a lot of fun and made a nice change, I just hope you like it!

Rating: G

Word Count: 2700

Read on AO3 or below

Timeless Children 

I know she’s on her way, long before she knocks on my door. I always know. I remember it fondly and I look forward to it, as she chuckles:

“Well, hello Sweetie!“

To be perfectly honest, the point of speech still eludes me, it makes very little sense as a concept. Words seem so confining: How is a sentient entity that exists outside of linear time meant to retell a moment that has happened, is happening, and will happen in words that a human mind will understand? It’s a silly notion. And yet there are words that are so much bigger than the sum of their letters. Hello Sweetie. Those words ripple through our time lines like a tidal wave and are far more than a greeting.

Here is River Song, knocking, awaiting a response from my Thief who is being very inconsiderate for being out. But I suppose they didn’t know she would be dropping by - unlike me. Thankfully, she has a key. Mind you, I would have let her in as well but she’s always been impatient. Like the river of time, always moving, far more fitting than a stationary pond. There we go again with words and their meanings.

“This makes a change…“ She smiles and I hum as she steps inside. It’s the best greeting I can manage in their reality but I cast my mind out to her and she understands. She always does, just like my Thief. She’s looking around and I agree, I like the golden light too, it’s warm and welcoming and plays nicely in her golden curls. “Hello Old Girl.“ She comes up to the console and presses her hand to it. Funny this obsession linear beings have for touch, as if our minds touching wasn’t intimate enough a gesture, but I’ll indulge it.

“Looking good in your old age. This is the oldest I’ve ever seen you.“ She carries on and what a funny concept indeed to comprehend when everything is happening, has happened, will happen all at once.

“Has he changed again, too?“ River draws a logical conclusion, naturally. She is a clever one and that’s why they’re so well matched: my Thief and my Child. So I hum proudly, though I’m not sure my sentiment comes across. “Well, this should be interesting.“ She smirks and makes her way further into my corridors. She’s probably looking for her spouse and unlike me is unaware they’re about to return. I’d tell her but she will realise soon enough.

Here they are now, banging the door shut a bit too firmly for my liking but it’s the sound that draws River back.

“Where shall we go?“ My dear Thief is lacking so much of their natural enthusiasm at this point in their timeline but they hide it well. I doubt Yaz even notices, they rarely do, the ways and strays. But The Doctor’s sadness, their turmoils echoes through my mind in the same way as River’s surprise does when she spots her spouse from the doorway.

Both their feelings resonate through me more than either of them will ever realise. I can always hear and feel them, no matter where and when they are. In return, I will have to content myself with the implicit understanding we share, the bits and pieces they manage to pick up with their linear, yet beautiful minds. I guess this is what made my kind band together with the Time Lords in the first place. They do better than most, with their pretty minds and sensitivity to time. And my Thief and their wife are special indeed.

“You decide. You’ve been locked up for nineteen years, there must be somewhere you’ve been wanting to go.“ It’s the human girl again and the Doctor smiles a very fake smile.

This bit is really not very interesting at all. I’m far more concerned with what my Thief is thinking rather than saying. I’m still extremely mad with them for that they did. There is no need for philosophical debate whether my sister had to die to defeat the squids in their metal homes, or not. It always has and always will happen but that doesn’t make it right. Stupid, selfish, impulsive, inconsiderate, desperate, bitter, cold, lost… Again, so many words and none good enough to truly describe what the Doctor did or how they’re feeling now.

At least River is here now, I’m glad she came. Her love for my Thief is a welcome reprieve from their gloominess. And I enjoy her delight for seeing their new face as she’s watching from the doorway, still unnoticed. Their emotions are so conflicting. My Thief is feeling so broken up over her recent experiences and my Child is feeling so whole for seeing her love again. She’s hanging back still, curious to find out what they’re like now. It’s often more informative than asking straight out. The Doctor rarely truly talks to anyone. They never share their sorrow. Linear, solid beings are funny like that. All that memory space and they use it to bottle up their emotions. They’ll need a little kick as usual and that’s where I come in.

“Doctor, what’s happening?“ I think I scared Yaz a little by just taking off but needs must.

“I don’t know, I didn’t…“ Come on my beloved Thief, by now you should know the difference between going where you want to go and where you need to be. “It’s the TARDIS, she’s going this. What are you playing at?“ She scolds around the room as if I could be swayed by a little temper tantrum.

“You still don’t know how to fly her, do you.“ I knew River wouldn’t be able to resist. I do enjoy watching them bicker.

“What? How?!“ The Doctor whips around and their emotions nearly knock me off course. There is just so much of it. These corporal beings really are so much bigger on the inside when it comes to that. Surprise. Joy. Confusion. Hope. Fear. Longing. That silly need to restrain their reaction so they wouldn’t get carried away… And the amusement, playfulness from River which only covers that deep insecurity she always feels when seeing my Thief again. I wish they would just tell her of the depth of their emotions instead of hiding it away. So many misunderstandings could be avoided if they both just shared everything, they would finally fully understand the depth of their feelings for each other, the way I understand them. But the Doctor is always scared of giving too much, knowing that their time together is limited. And River doesn’t want to hold them back, assuming she is just a tiny speck of dust in their extraordinary life, so she keeps her distance so it wouldn’t hurt so much… They’re both so wrong.

“How many regenerations is this now? And you still haven’t found the time to glance at the manual.“ Ah yes, teasing. The bedrock of their relationship and River’s way of going on the offensive, dictate the conversation. She likes to be in control of it. Ever since the Silence took her, she doesn’t like to be at the mercy of others. She probably doesn't even realise she’s doing it but I guess I just understand, sometimes I understand either one of them better than they understand themselves. To be fair, I have the advantage of having peeked at the end. And the beginning. And everything in between.

“I have been travelling in this TARDIS for thousands of years, I don’t have to…“ They get so offended when someone insults their driving. Sometimes I do it on purpose just to wind them up.

“Does she still leave the brakes on?“ River smirks at the human who just doesn’t understand. Not that she would have a clue as to how to fly me, but she also doesn’t have a clue as to who she’s dealing with.

“The brakes?“ Yaz echoes.

“And still you don’t use the stabilisers.“ Yes, quite right my darling Child and thank you, the Doctor never does. It feels a lot better when she flicks the right switch on the console.

“Who are you?“ Yaz is looking around for an explanation and my Thief is too wrapped up in her own thoughts to answer. Her fears and worries are painful.

“Professor River Song.“ Again, with the touching. Solids and their hand shakes.

“River, how did you get in here?“ Finally my Thief finds their voice at last.

“Saw you parked up in Sheffield, how was I to know you weren’t home. I knocked.“ River points out quite rightly. Right place, right time. Let’s be honest, I had something to do with that.

“So you got in and hid?“ There is really no need for the Doctor to act all affronted when really, it’s their own fault for not being here and when it’s just a defence mechanism to deal with her emotions.

“I do have a key.“ Also, I would have let her in either way.

“Why does she have a key? Who is she.“ Oh Yaz, come on, it is pretty obvious by now. But that reminds me… It’s about time for something else but let’s try not to be too obvious… Some turbulence will do it. It knocks them about a bit but not too much. Enough for River to tease her spouse some more:

“What sort of a course did you set? We just went straight through a cloud of sigma particles.“ River is so much better with my controls. She is my Child after all and she listens, whereas my Thief very rarely does. They’re so stubborn like that.

“A what?“ Yaz asks.

“Like a speed bump in the time vortex.“ Yeah, sorry, that was me but let’s not tell that to my Thief.

“Do you know how to fly her?“ Yaz is in awe and who can blame her.

“Unlike someone over here. What are you doing down there, Sweetie.“ Now she notices them crouching over, about time, but thanks for looking after me first.

“Are you okay, Doctor?“ Yaz notices as well.

“What have you got there?“ River recognises it of course but it’s polite it ask.

“I… thought I’d lost this… when I regenerated last time, it slipped off my finger.“ The Doctor shows it to them. The ring. “It was too big and I thought it was gone… the TARDIS must have kept it safe…“

Well of course I did, silly Thief. Your wife would have killed you if you’d lost it and we can’t have that. Also, you joy for finding it is such a lovely break from the gloom.

“You thought you’d lost your wedding ring?“ There River goes acting all affronted when really, she’s so very happy to see it and so touched at how emotional my Thief is over finding it again.

“Wedding ring?“ I can’t blame Yaz for feeling out of the loop. The Doctor really isn’t forthcoming with information but I suppose it’s hard. I know how much they hurt whenever they’re reminded of their wifes loss. “You’re married?“

“I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea at the time…“ River teases to stop herself from revealing her real emotions. I wish solids didn’t insist on doing that all the time. It gets weary after a while. “Oh there we go with the breaks. See, it’s not meant to make that noise.“ Indeed, time to land.

“I love that noise.“ My Thief huffs getting to their feet.

“She doesn’t.“ River retorts. Admittedly, I do like it a little bit. Always nice to announce ones arrival. But it does wear my brake pads down.

“You talk just like the Doctor. Like the TARDIS is a person.“ Yaz points out and I guess she can’t be blamed for not understanding. She can’t sense me in the way the Doctor and River can.

“Person is a bit inaccurate. More like… entity. Sentient being. Person sounds so… limiting.“ River understands and I hum, if only for the joy of seeing Yaz jump a little at the obvious response.

“How do you know that.“ She’s probably intrigued to find out.

“Timelords have a certain sensitivity to it, it’s why they aligned themselves with each other, the Timelords and the TARDISes, they’re a race in their own right if you will.“ River is kind to explain. That’s the mark of her trade, the archeology professor.

“Are you also a Timelord?“ It’s a fair assumption. My Thief wouldn’t go around just marrying anyone. Unless of course you count all those accidental marriages… Elizabeth I, Cleopatra, Marilyn Monroe, I could go on but I’ll spare them the embarrassment.

“Something thereabouts.“ River waves it off, it’s too big a question to answer right now but it is important, now more than ever. We’ll get to that soon.

“You’re no less a Timelord than I am, River.“ That’s a good start. I knew eventually, the Doctor wouldn’t be able to hide it. This is why I needed to bring them back together. River will understand and help.

“Sorry?“ Well, she doesn’t understand right away but she will.

“The Timelords are a myth, a fabrication, they’re not a species, they’re thieves.“ That’s rich, coming from you, Thief.

“What do you mean?“

“It’s a long story…“ The Doctor regrets the outburst now. Again, that reluctance to talk. It would be so much easier to just get it out of the way but they insist on going about it the long way.

“I have time.“ I can sense River’s worry now as she, in turn, senses the Doctor’s distress that they're trying to bury.

“Where are we?“ Yaz interrupts and it’s a good question. I flick on one of the screens to show them and move this conversation along.

“Don’t. We’re going.“ My Thief actually covers my screen so they can’t see. How rude. “I don’t know what you’re playing at but I don’t want to be here!“ They snap at me but as if that has ever done anything to impress me. They’re adorable when they get angry. So I turn on all the screens.

“Gallifrey?“ Yaz and River look to different screens as the Doctor can’t cover them all and they come to the same conclusion.

“What’s left of it…“ My Thief huffs, trying to cover the anger and sadness that I feel most keenly.

“What happened here?“ River realises the destruction that Yaz already knew about. “Tell me.“

Yes my beloved Thief. Tell her. You need to talk to her about it. I can’t talk back to you but she can. And maybe, then, you will realise something I’ve always known.

“The Master did this… he was so angry.“ The Doctor knows they’re defeated, giving in at last. About time, too.

“You’re angry too. Why?“ River is so clever to pick it up, even without a telepathic connection to them. “Not just over what he did but something else. What did you mean when you said the Timelords are a fabrication?“ Clever girl.

“It was all a lie, River.“ Finally. There we are. It’s like dragging water from a stone but we’re getting somewhere and I know they’ll feel better for it. “I’m not one of them but they used me.“ I can tell they’re starting to feel better already and it’s what keeps them talking. “They found me. They took my DNA, my regenerative ability and gave it to themselves… And I don’t remember any of it. I don’t know who I am. Where I’m from. What I am.“ Their voice trails off into what seems like silence but for me, it’s a storm of emotions raging through my mind. The Doctor’s sadness and desperation. River’s anger at what had been done to her love. Their shared sorrow as they both know what it’s like to be used as a pawn. They are so similar in so many ways. And then, there is relief and warmth when River pulls the Doctor into her arms.

“Oh Sweetie.“ She kisses the top of their head and I’m starting to understand a little better what it is about touch. My Thief’s feelings on the matter are overwhelming. The love, comfort and assurance alleviate so much of the pain.

“When you said you’re not quite a Timelord but thereabouts…“ Yes, thank you Yaz for pointing out the obvious.

The Doctor looks up to River and the realisation comes as a wave of relief and joy for me as well.

Your wife is the closest thing to anything - anyone -  like you, my darling Thief. She just happened. In the same way you did. So perhaps it’s time you actually talked, my Timeless Children.

[bluebellwriting]

Mom-Friend Looking For A Dad-Friend - Part 1

Summary: Saru x chubby!reader in which you are Sylvia Tilly’s older sister, (Y/N) Tilly. You are a therapist on the USS Discovery and the ship’s resident mom-friend. Your little sister thinks it’s about time her Starfleet parents finally hooked up. (Title is based off of my Hinge profile)

(Y/N)’s POV

You were settling into your office on the USS Discovery, situated just down the hall from the med bay. It was small but cozy and would only get cozier once you unpacked your plants and little trinkets from home. Once the doors were closed behind you, you set your box of mementos down and took a moment to take in the room. Making sure that the doors are closed, you take a moment to squeal and pump your fists in the air. It’s quite unprofessional for a lieutenant commander, but you’ve never had a whole office to yourself before. 

Apparently the ship’s former captain, Gabriel Lorca, never felt the need for counselors or therapists, which you thought was horrible and inconsiderate. But when your own captain, Captain Pike, announced that he was transferring temporarily to head the Discovery, he had requested you accompany him to be the ship’s temporary counselor. He didn’t go into much detail for “security reasons,” but he felt that the crew would benefit from your services and your motherly nature.

It also helped that your baby sister was an ensign on the ship.

Your little celebratory moment was ruined by the sound of your doors opening. You froze, imagining the captain or some high-ranking commander walking in on your moment of unprofessionalism. Honestly, this was not a reflection of your normally responsible self and as you turned slowly around, you were running through in your mind exactly how you would defend yourself. Until you saw the familiar red and wild hair of your sister. 

You run forward and envelop her in a hug, relishing the feel of a familiar body pressed against yours. You have been so worried for her while you were away on the Enterprise and she was off fighting a war. Not a day went by that you didn’t dread the idea of getting the message from your mother that she was gone. But now she’s here, safe and sound in your arms where you can protect her, like you always have. You were so wrapped up in fussing over your sister that you didn’t even notice the incredibly tall man watching you both fondly from the doorway until he cleared his throat.

“Oh! Oh right.” Sylvia steps to the side with her arm stretched, literally presenting the tallest and... cutest man you had ever seen. Immediately you were entranced by the ridges of his face and his eyes. Oh dear Lord those eyes. 

“Commander, this is my sister, (Y/N). (Y/N), this is Commander Saru. He was my sponsor to the command program and was--”

“Previously acting Captain, yes. Captain Pike filled me in.” You step forward and extend your hand to him. You try really, really hard not to shiver when his fingers engulf your palm and hold it securely. You feel so small in front of him -- which is rare for you, your past boyfriends made it a point to constantly bring up your largeness -- but your hand fits perfectly in his like two puzzle pieces finding each other. It’s as thrilling as it is frightening.

“I’m Doctor (Y/N) Tilly. It’s very nice to meet you, Commander.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, as well, Doctor.” Oh he was such a gentleman. 

Saru’s POV

Saru was expecting another Sylvia Tilly, when said ensign insisted that he come meet her sister. And because he was so fond of the tenacious girl, he allowed her to all but pull him through the halls towards an office just off of the med bay.

“I just have a feeling that you two will really like each other,” she was telling him as they approached the doors. “She’s so kind and sweet. She was basically the mom I always wanted which was nice considering the mom we did have was--” As she rambled, Saru just nodded his head and mentally prepared himself to engage in some pleasantries and then a quick return to the bridge for a meeting with Captain Pike. He was honestly in a somewhat sour mood after having the captaincy stolen from him, even if he knew it was going to be temporary anyway. Hey, a Kelpien can dream.

What he was not expecting was the sight of quite literally the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. But there she was, hugging her sister tightly and soundly in a very cramped office filled with boxes of plants and flowers. And when you took his hand and grinned up at him, he felt his heart soar and a tingling in his limbic system. He could stand in the glow of your smile for hours and so desperately wanted to know what a hug from you felt like. Probably like being home. He had to restrain his arm from reaching out for you after you had pulled away from the handshake. He was completely and utterly hooked on you.

Sylvia seemed to notice, because she shot him a devious grin at the sight of what he was now realizing was his own love sick smile. Really, you have to be more professional, he scolded. But you’re chatting happily away with your sister while unloading your plants, cradling each adorable pot like a mother carries her child. Alright, professionalism be damned, he knew he needed to be next to you every moment for the rest of your lives.

On Kaminar, Kelpien life expectancies were uncertain but undeniably short, which meant that when decisions about family, friends, children had to be instinctual. And while Saru knew that he was safe from that life, that he was far more secure than anyone from back home could have ever hoped for, he still felt those same instincts. He felt them for Michael and Captain Georgiou and Sylvia and now here you were, the sight of you creating a piercing, knowing feeling deep in his gut.

You struggled to hang one of your plants on the highest shelf behind your desk. Just as you were about to pull out your spinny chair and use it as a stool, Saru quickly made his way over so he could hover over you.

“May I?” He was genuinely nervous that you would say no and he’s not quite sure why. But this was important, this offering of help and for care. You gave him a toothy grin and carefully transferred the plant from your hands into his large, awaiting ones. 

“Thank you, Commander. This is my String of Hearts and she likes to be up high.” Saru didn’t bat an eye at the fondness you held for the plant, rather he was quite familiar with the love you felt for them.

“It’s really no trouble. I too have quite the collection back in my quarters.”

“Really?”

“Yes, they are mostly plants from my home world, although I have collected quite a few species from visits to other planets.”

“Maybe you could show my sister some time, Commander!” Sylvia’s voice, really it’s more like a yelp, interrupts you both. You were eyeing her strangely while Saru tried his best to signal her with his widened eyes, stop, please with a hint of what are you planning. Sylvia just grinned widely and devilishly at them both.

“If, um, you don’t mind Commander, I would be happy to have lunch with you sometime to discuss our plant babies,” you offered slowly, your voice soft and hopeful. Oh, oh, he definitely wanted to have lunch with you. Was today too soon? Probably. Okay, calm down Saru, she’s not going to disappear.

Third Person POV

Four Months Later

Sylvia was just absolutely ecstatic that her plan was working. When she had started getting closer to Saru during the way, started seeing his paternal nature and his unmeasured empathy towards others, her mind had immediately thought of her darling sister. How you were just as nurturing as him and cared about everyone, how you were so caught up with loving others that you very rarely had time to meet anyone who loved you just as deeply. How the only two boyfriends you had ever had were complete assholes who took your tenderness for granted and only gave you criticism for return. How you were so hesitant to fall in love again and how she was absolutely sure that Saru was made for you and vice versa. So as soon as you stepped onto the ship, Sylvia begged and bothered Saru to come welcome you until he finally agreed. And oh is he glad he agreed.

From that day on you and Saru became practically inseparable. Saru made it his mission to be near you every second possible and you found yourself quite taken with the impossibly sweet man. Which was unusual, you had built this thick wall around your heart after your last relationship ended. But Saru just wormed his way past your guard with his gentle smiles and thoughtfulness. You would spend every meal together, talking about your plants, your favorite books and music. He had even started teaching you some basics in some of the many languages he knew. You don’t know why, but knowing about his profound knowledge of languages made you fall even harder for him.

Everyone on the ship seemed to realize that you were made for each other, too. There were bets made about when you would get together, whispers about ships through the halls. The drama over when Discovery’s mom-friend and dad-friend would make it official was a welcomed respite from the stresses of their mission to find the Red Angel. 

But the turning point for you was one night when you were completely swamped with patient notes and analysis. You had just messaged Saru letting him know that you had to skip your dinner plans to finish your work. You were quite disappointed, you hadn’t missed a dinner with him in the four months of your friendship and you lived for your conversations with him. It was just so comfortable and he made you feel so heard. But tonight you were looking at a sad, late night meal in your quarters after you were exhausted from staring at PADDs all day. At least, you thought so, until your door opened mere minutes after you had messaged Saru. In walked this precious man, carrying your favorite soup and a cup of coffee on a tray, along with some tea and salad for himself. 

“Just because we can’t have dinner in the cafeteria, doesn’t mean we can’t have dinner together.” He gave you a shy look as he set the tray down in front of you and took a seat on the other side of your desk. Honestly your heart felt like it was about to burst from your chest. He was a dream, a lovely and beautiful dream.

“Saru I... Thank you.” You set your PADD down and decided that maybe a short break couldn’t hurt.

“You are most welcome, (Y/N). I couldn’t bear the thought of you not eating a proper meal.”

“Is this potato leak soup?” Saru nodded, pleased with himself.

The two of you ate silently for a while as you continued your work. Saru was quite content in watching you. It was quiet moments like this where he would take in everything he loved about you besides your mind and wit. The soft curl of your hair, the way your eyebrows creased as you read, or the bright (e/c) of your eyes. His eyes very slowly trail down, when you aren’t flashing the occasional smile at him, to take in his other favorite part about you. Saru -- and he gets incredibly embarrassed when he thinks of you like this because he is a gentleman through and through -- just really loves your body. In a totally not creepy way, he is obsessed with how small and soft you are compared to him. He still has dreams about the first time you hugged him and the feeling of his arms around your plush waist holding you close.

“All done,” you announce with a sigh. Saru snaps his eyes from where they were lingering on your collar bone back up to you. He throws on his most innocent smile, trying to pretend he wasn’t just fantasizing about wrapping his body around your own. 

“Thank you again. I’m sure this is not how you wanted to spend your evening, sitting in silence while I just work away.”

“Nonesense.” He pauses, debating his next words. “Any time spent with you is time well spent.” 

You bite your tongue for a moment, wondering if you should let slip the words you so desperately wanted to bestow upon him. Would he think you’re being too forward? Would he think you were flirting with him? I mean, you did want to flirt with him, and hug him and kiss him and rub your hands down his-- woah, calm down, (Y/N), he’s right there. 

“Still,” you start, deciding to take a big risk. “It was incredibly sweet of you. I’ve never had anyone bring me dinner before.” Saru beams and fills his heart swell at the praise, but his joy stalls at that one offhand comment.

“Never?” Honestly, he was curious. You had never mentioned past relationships before and he was secretly dying to know if he was even someone you would consider for a romantic relationship.

You take a deep breath, “I mean, I’ve only ever had two boyfriends in the past and neither were that... thoughtful. Well, at first they were. But over time they both ended up being a bit too self-centered, a bit too critical.” 

Saru feels like his cup is about to break in his grip. How could anyone be so cruel to you, so unappreciative, so blind? 

You bow your head, worried you might have divulged too much but Saru leans forward and takes one of your hands into his. His thumb rubs your knuckles and immediately your past relationships and the sad memories they dredge up vanish. As if there was no one before him, as if there was always just Saru.

“If you don’t mind me being so forward, it is their loss. (Y/N), you are a wonder, anyone who cannot see that or appreciate that is a fool and does not deserve you.” He’s staring at you incredibly intensely, his lovely eyes trying to convey all the adoration he feels for you, his desire to see you cared for as you deserve.

Your eyes shine and you don’t even think. You just stand and round your desk, engulfing Saru in a hug before he can rise to meet you or he can see the tears in your eyes. Your body folds perfectly into his as his arms wrap securely around your waist. In this position your heads are level, and he uses this opportunity to slightly nestle his head against your neck and shoulder. He hopes he’s being inconspicuous. He also hopes you’re getting the message, that he is absolutely smitten with you. 

[we-pay-for-everything]

10 most controversial opinions you have heard about the characters of Buffy the vampire slayer and what do you think about them?

I’ve been meaning to answer this for a long time, and this is my second attempt. I’ve been in the fandom long enough that nothing is controversial to me - I don’t even know what a controversial opinion is anymore. I’ve taken the liberty of choosing some opinions fans are split on, as well as some of my own less popular opinions about the characters (and relationships). 

1. Willow is lesbian/bi. Fans have been debating this for ages, and both sides have plenty of supporters, so it’s not even a controversial opinion, but rather a controversial topic. My opinion is that Willow is both lesbian and bi, sort of. 

Willow was written as straight from the beginning, and her relationship with Oz can’t be seen as anything other than genuine imo. If you consider her character until Tara’s appearance, and vampire Willow, then Willow is written at most as bi (mainly straight in the minds of the writers, who had the old fashioned thought that every straight person lusted after a person of the same gender but it meant nothing). However, her character was “retconned” after season 4. The writers either weren’t open minded enough to write a bi character or weren’t thorough enough when making Willow lesbian - I say this because they never reframed her relationship with Oz in the context of Willow being a lesbian: if they wanted the fans to think Willow was gay from the beginning they should’ve cleared some things up (Oz’s last episode is a good example of this). However, Willow undeniably stated she was gay and didn’t like men anymore. That doesn’t leave room for interpretation: after Oz, Willow only liked women and didn’t see men in a sexual/romantic way. Does that mean she didn’t like men in the past (she always said “gay now”) or that she won’t like men in the future (it seems that way...)? I think you can say she’s gay but liked Oz (and even Xander) romantically, or that she’s bi but strongly leaning towards women after Oz. I think you can argue in many different ways. The only wrong opinion is saying Willow never liked Oz or doesn’t like women. I think the show is pretty clear on the fact that Willow was in love with Oz at one point, and the latter seasons never refuted that. I have a bi friend who said Willow was bi and loved both Tara and Oz, and I know lesbians who said she was gay and not bi. There’s not right or wrong, I think, because Willow was written as straight, from the writers’ pov, for 3.5 seasons, and then become gay. The lack of consensus in the fandom is due to the incongruence between pre-Tara and post-Tara Willow.  

2. Joyce is a good/bad mother: This is almost identical to the debate over Willow’s sexuality. Joyce is written very inconsistently. Because of how she died, and the fact that she became a decent mother when Dawn entered the picture, many fans think positively of Joyce’s parenting. I also think a lot of people go easy on parents: as long as the kid isn’t physically or blatantly abused and lives comfortably, it’s all good. Personally, although my expectations are much higher, Joyce doesn’t even come close to reaching them. She systematically neglects Buffy throughout the show, and puts Buffy in the position of being the caretaker in the family (Gingerbread is a good example of this). Even if Joyce loved Buffy and was written that way because good parents are boring and bothersome, I still strongly believe she wasn’t a good mother. I can’t forget her good qualities but neither can I forget episodes like Ted and Becoming part 2, or her attitude towards Buffy being a slayer and dating an older man. 

3. Giles is not a great character overall. Personally, I can’t really love Giles. As a character, I think he starts off strong but gets tossed aside by season 4 and never quite regains his footing in the show. He doesn’t really evolve or grow past season 3. In season 4, there’s a weird “reset” where Giles becomes much happier and goofier, as well as a bit dumber, and this carries on into season 5. Then things get serious in season 6 and he’s written out of the show in a very unflattering way. The final nail in the coffin in season 7. If you put all of it together, Giles is wasted as a character, and ASH’s massive talent is wasted as well. All of this makes it hard to love Giles as well. He has too many moments of neglectfulness and apathy. 

4. Giles is not a good father figure/ I didn’t like his relationship with Buffy. Is this even a controversial opinion? I think people love Giles and Buffy overall, so that part may be. Giles is definitely not a good father figure or mentor to anyone - definitely not to Xander, most definitely not to Willow or Faith, not even to Buffy. Giles was a very flawed character who never made it his job to take responsibility for other people. His responsibilities were to his Slayer - and that was a choice he made. He didn’t want to be anyone else’s mentor. He didn’t try with Willow, and he was never very interested in Faith. Giles was exactly like Joyce - inconsistently written for the sake of the story. If Giles hadn’t often been neglectful or inconsiderate the characters wouldn’t have struggled so much and made the mistakes they made. Giles was often sacrificed for the the story (which is a common theme in the Buffyverse), so, to me, he’s a very morally ambiguous character. It makes him interesting, but because the ambiguity often comes from bad writing, imo, it’s actually not a good thing. 

5. Tara isn’t a great character. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard this before, but I know Tara is generally a beloved character. I just don’t connect with her, or think she was very well written. She was just there for Willow - until season 6, which was her best season - and I feel like she was inconsistently written too. There’s just something missing with her. 

I can’t think of anything else! If anyone has some controversial opinions for me, I’ll add a part 2 and finish this ask properly. I’m really sorry, Anon! I’m very grateful for your interest, but this is a really tough ask! 

[arcadianmoonshadowjedi]

Some Opinions on The Great Tree Conflict

This may potentially be a long post so Imma write this under the line. Also this is not meant to be hate or negativity towards any of the characters so if that’s what you’re looking for, this may not be something you’d be interested in.

So either the opinions on the whole Rapunzel-Cassandra conflict is a) Rapunzel is inconsiderate and horrible to Cass or b) Cass is toxic and controlling over Rapunzel. What if these opinions however, were the source of conflict and misunderstanding between the two in the episode itself? 

Lemme try to break this down more. Since the beginning of S2, Rapunzel has been craving more adventure and freedom, especially after 18 years in a tower and then a year being “trapped” in Corona by her father. Then we have Cassandra, who has been craving to become a guard and feel like she has value by her friends and the people of Corona, who dropped everything to accompany Rapunzel on the journey.

Something that really bugs me though, is when people claim that Cass apparently is inherently “bad”, a “bully”, “mean and condescending”, “controlling” and the list goes on and on... But haven’t you maybe tried to take off your hate glasses and tried to put yourself in Cass’s shoes or at least tried to understand her character? Sure Cass is insecure and has an attitudinal problem and she doesn’t always have the best response or action when she’s angry or frustrated, but did you at least try to understand where she’s coming from, besides of course the whole “she’s just a bad person and a bully who’s trying to control Rapunzel”? 

Whenever Cass tries to “control” Rapunzel, she’s usually trying to prevent a dangerous outcome. I can give multiple examples from throughout the series but I’m just gonna focus on The Great Tree. When Cass called out Rapunzel after making that wide jump across the rocks, do you think it’s because she jealous of her winning the race? Or perhaps she just sought control over Rapunzel? Or what if it was because, if she and Max didn’t make it across, they both could’ve been badly injured? And don’t you think if Eugene were with her, that he would’ve also had the same concern?

And then there’s the whole Cass calling Rapunzel obliviously naïve in the tree and then claims that she was bullying Rapunzel to put her down and condescend her, but haven’t you perhaps thought of what led to that specific incident? Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely hated how Cass did that, but haven’t you thought of the circumstances they were exposed to in that episode? As she put it, the entire gang was nearly killed in the tree either by the reverse incantation or that giant carnivorous flower, which would naturally lead to a state of panic, stress, and hysteria, like in Cass’s case. And I know Cass has been pretty distrustful of Adira (which I do acknowledge that Cass’s trust issues is a major flaw she has) and that distrust perhaps turns into jealousy because she feels like Adira was putting her into a situation where she felt she was being pushed aside and not heard by anyone. But what if Cass’s actions were really more about “we are in danger and we need to stay out of it or at least try to stay safe?” In fact, both her and Adira’s points were pretty valid but what if I told you that Cass was legit panicking from nearly getting killed and was proposing the gang to get themselves out of danger, but because of her state of panic, she ended up acting out and insulting Rapunzel as a result of that? And when she and Rapunzel had that chat, what if she was expressing her frustration of not feeling like she is heard and taken seriously, especially when it is in a time of danger?

And here are my points about Rapunzel. As I’ve said before, Raps feels like she is finally getting her first real taste of freedom and constantly seeking fun and adventure. However, truth be told, that craving she has can at times get herself or the gang into danger or at least at risk of it. But then she has this friend, who was assigned by her father to protect her (not control, but at least to help keep her out of danger). In her point of view, she does feel like this is a major restraint. When Cass called her out at the beginning of the episode for that jump with Max, she admitted she didn’t need protection. Maybe from her POV, she felt that Cass calling her out was restraining, but from Cass’s POV, it felt like she was being pushed away. And you know what, I do think she is a total badass who can keep herself safe and get herself out of danger but what if both she and Cass misunderstood what points they were trying to make to each other? Then in the tree, when she and Cass get into the heated argument, which ended with Rapunzel pulling her rank out on Cass to shut her up, I personally did not consider this standing up to herself, but rather, the wrong way to end the argument. I know that what most likely led to this was she was most likely triggered by being called naïve (Note that this isn’t me saying that Cass was right or Raps wrong or vice versa, but both were pretty much wrong in how they handled this whole situation). 

The problem then was, neither of them fully understood what the other POV was like, especially when Rapunzel and Cass spoke to each other. Cass said “Since when did you stop trusting my judgement?” not out of a desire to be in control but mainly, feeling like she wasn’t being heard or taken seriously in dire situations like the one they were in. In Rapunzel’s POV, she perhaps felt that Cass was restraining her which led her to talk about how she was going to become Queen and Cass needs to just accept that. But the problem here is that both of them were missing the point. Neither of them understood what the other person had in mind. In fact, if anything, they should’ve both had a more open conversation, with both Raps listening to Cass’s concerns and trying to understand her more and Cass trying to understand how Raps was feeling more, especially without unintentionally bringing up the class chasm between them.

The point I’m trying to make here is that the situation was far more complicated than one being wholly the villain and the other being wholly the angelic victim. Especially with the whole spear vs incantation debacle, it was a lose-lose situation for both of them. Cass felt that the spear could’ve been the better solution than the incantation, that way no one would’ve gotten hurt, but then Raps felt that the incantation was the better solution, because her boyfriend and the rest of the gang were being squeezed to death, so she felt that she needed to act fast. At the end of the day, this whole episode was a really messy and complicated situation where there’s more than one person at fault and that has led to several negative consequences, especially with Cass and Raps’s friendship. But you know what? I feel like these complications are one of the best ways to tell a story, because oftentimes, in reality, most conflicts aren’t all black and white, but much more complicated then that.

[nnobara]

this is the anon from before, hope u don't mine me following up w a response but ur tags weren't too much bc i also agree as well the change in his style for that arc didn't hurt it imo at all! more specifically the part everyone talked abt the most, the rough sketch that begins when maki crushes two guys throats(wonderful)and ends when jinichi starts going after her. it's like, who knows if he ever would've tried this if it weren't for his state of mind at the time- but where he chose to give himself a break in the chapter, which panels/how many, he placed it perfectly. to me it flowed naturally as, from that point we were seeing thru ranta's pov as he's activating his ct, he sees her kill the 2, then he gets traps her in a literal eye(that we're seeing thru!!), and then from there on we're back to a general view normally. not that he needs an excuse for how to draw his story, but if we didn't know anything at that point abt how he was tired behind the scenes he could've gotten away w it as a creative risk. didn't seem out of place in my reading :-)

hi! no no i dont mind at all! yes that very part! while i did see that there was smt unusual w the panels i didnt even register those were rough drafts until ppl on socmeds brought it up and later gege confirmed it himself since it just seemed appropriate? in delivering the chaoticness and brutality of the situation no? it also looked like it was done deliberately since just like what u said only happened during that ranta guy in action.

it's like, who knows if he ever would've tried this if it weren't for his state of mind at the time- but where he chose to give himself a break in the chapter, which panels/how many, he placed it perfectly.

!!!!!! now now we literally have the same thought?? i was thinking of putting them on the previous answer but i didnt really know how to phrase it exactly so thank you so much!!! its like... 

...you know while he probably failed to meet his expectations and things were rough for him (like tell me again how many he had to draw that week only? 20 pages for a chapter, a lead color page, a colored spread... hell) yet its not everyday we get to see this style of his right? ive came to think that it was really something to treasure while i reread that chapter on the days of jjk hiatus

and your last two sentences, very true. tho he eventually said it himself he submitted rough drafts when he couldve just said it was just his artistic choice.. guess he received quite some call outs atm (which was inconsiderate considering his insane workloads) which he answered w another call out ajsjjdk never change gege

anyway thank u for sharing your thoughts!! it was nice to look back at things now it was quite uproar at that time with every kind of comments and responds ppl had abt that rough drafts that i didnt get to think for myself on what i feel at that time lol (just simply praying that gege was not ill or stuff)

[mindwideopen]

Bert.... is mad.

Look at bert’s head! It’s about to explode with fury. He’s soooo mad! Oh no.... Bert, will have..... your.... ass..... No. because Bert would never do that. Bert is a loving guy, but he’s reached his limit, as a lot of us do from time to time. Bert gave Ernie ALL of his power. He allowed ernies antics to affect him negatively. What Ernie did? Who knows. Probably swindled Bert out of the bigger piece of pizza, and more grape drink. He does that a lot...

Or maybe he drank all Bert’s ice cream soda when all he wanted was plain seltzer,

or he probably annoyed Bert by playing tag with him, when he was trying to read.

Ernie is a bit inconsiderate like that, or, Ernie is needy, and wants attention from Bert, and Bert is into his own thing, Either way, Ernie doesn’t mean to act like a mindless, thoughtless Turkey culo. He wants love, like we all do. Unfortunately, it’s coming off really inconsideratly. Sometimes, when it’s not you that’s the one being annoyed, it can be hilarious. But let’s put ourselves in each of their positions for a minute...

Bert, does NOT look happy. He looks mad, yes, but also, hurt, upset, not appreciated, not understood, not cared for. Bert, is a perpetual victim of Ernie’s naughty business. Bert can also tend to like things the way he likes them. Kinda an immobile, guy. Maybe a guy that takes himself too seriously, too sensitive, with no sense of humor. BUT, regardless, Bert deserves love, and respect, and consideration even though Ernie doesn’t always show it in the way Bert appreciates. Does that mean Ernie doesn’t love Bert? Not sure. Are they in a serious codependent relationship of abuse? Could be. Or are they in a mutual friendship that somehow works for the both of them? It all depends on your perception.

Let’s take in Ernie for a bit. Ernie, is a purveyor of glad tidings, fun and joy. On the flip side, Ernie has a ton of energy, and doesn’t flow outside of his own desires in the moment very well. Some would say, “Ohhhh... That Ernie... all he cares about is fun, and play, and singing, and dancing, and his rubber ducky, and he’s messy, and carefree, and doesn’t listen to Bert at all. What an Turkey culo!! But Ernie does care about how he, and others like Bert, feel. And he wants to break Bert out of his comfort zone, and have a little fun with his best friend. How you view them, is irrelevant to them, but means everything to you. Because they are not affected by you in the least. They’re muppets. But the energy that they bring up in you, is very very real.

Ernie and Bert are facets of these 2 men: Jim Henson, who played Ernie, and Frank Oz, who still maybe I dunno, periodically plays Bert. But, they created these characters. And they evolved over time, both the characters, and the men.

I heard an interview where frank oz was discussing the character of Bert. At first, bert was a conundrum. He was boring. But frank oz, in his genius, made boring, fun! Well, Bert may be boring, but he loves it! He is the single most boring guy in the world, and loves what he loves; bottle caps, and pigeons named Bernice, and paper clips, and plain soda water. Bert celebrates his boringness to the hilt! I used to not get Bert at all when I was a kid. Bert?! You’re into boring....everything! But now that I’m older, I finally appreciate Bert, and his love of the mundane, cause he’s so into it. And frank and Jim, got it too, and they shared it with me, and all the other kids my age and beyond. Celebrate people not just for their similarities, but their differences too. And if you don’t celebrate their differences, at the very least accept the person, and love them anyway.

Ernie gives Bert a serious headache. So he cares for him, and makes sure he has his hot water bottle (still not quite sure what that does...) But no one can say Ernie doesn’t care, or they can, but they’d be wrong to me, because Ernie, in his own selfish jerk way to some, cares a lot. And I sometimes appreciate him for it. Bert resigns himself to it a lot too, cause after all, both of these characters come from a place of love, and devotion to one another.

But regardless of what I think of either, and much like gayle king of I dunno, and Oprah Winfrey, a Winfrey, they’re best friends. And isn’t it better to be friends, then not? Well, don’t ask me, cause I have none...

George Carlin: Kari, you, are seriously, one of the most ridiculous people I have ever not met personally. You have friends, you just walk away from everyone cause they don’t show up for you the way you’d like. I only know that, because you’re writing me, so I have an insight others don’t, because you cut everyone out. At least with Ernie and Bert, Bert gets pissed, and Ernie knows about it.

Bert in the year 2020: It’s been 50 plus years of ernie’s crazy behavior, and I feel the following: n for numb, b for beaten down, a for aggravated, and n again, for no more...

Ernie in the year 2020: bert, how many times do we have to go through this, Bert? I love you like a brother and friend, and I never want to upset you, ever, Bert. You’re special to me. I’ve learned that over time. You’re my best buddy, Bert! Just like rubber ducky, only you do all the shopping, and cleaning, and the dishes and laundry.

Bert: Er——niiie! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You are not responsible for anything! We are both 7, 8, 9 or 10 years old! When are you going to chip in and do your share in this friendship?! All you do is give me grief, Ernie! Grief!

Oscar the grouch: sounds like my kind of guy!!!

Bert: um, youve known him for 50 plus years!

Oscar: well, I didn’t know that about him! I love hate it!

Bert: ok, anyway, Ernie, if you keep doing the same things that make me angry over and over again, how is that changing? I don’t trust you, or believe you. Your words do not match your actions. Aaaagh! I don’t know what to think...

Mr. hooper: maybe I can help. You see boys, this is a classic case of the bullshit that I don’t have to deal with anymore because I am dead.

Bert: um, mr. hooper, you’re not allowed to talk like that on Sesame Street. I’m only 10 years old and I live alone with Ernie, unsupervised, which is bad enough. I don’t think we’re supposed to hear such talk.

Mr. hooper: We’re not on Sesame Street right now, we’re in Kari’s blog, so it’s fine, cause she’s the one swearing, not me, as I, am dead, as I/she stated above. Alight, boys, what I’m trying to say is this; can you please, for once and for all, be more considerate of one another’s feelings and maybe just maybe get back to the love? I’m over all this bickering.

Ernie: yeah Bert, I was trying to tell you that...

Bert: yeah Ernie, but at some point you have to back up your words with the proper actions. How many times have I told you that?! And you ignore me!

The count von count: 7 zillion, 345 trillion, 8 million, 32 times Bert has told you, Ernie, about that! Ah ah ahhhhhhh! (Lightening strikes)

Ernie: you’ve got a point there, Bert. Ok, I’ll show you, by giving you, the bigger piece of pizza once and awhile, and leaving your seltzer, plain, and allowing you to read in peace. Cause I support you bert, and I care.

Bert: that’s great Ernie! I do too! And I’ll make time to play tag with you more, and spend time the way we like to do, together.

Mr. hooper: word(s).

Scene.

George Carlin: Kari, did you her all that?

Kari: yes. Oh man. I’ve been read by Ernie and Bert. Ok, my intention for writing on my blog is not to hurt anyone at all with my POV, but to be honest about my feelings, in love. I try not to be a mean passive aggressive person. I sometimes can be, but I’m trying to clean up my side of the street with that. And I do feel like I am friendless, but it’s because I’m hurt, and don’t feel loved or appreciated sometimes. That’s what it all comes down to, really.

Carlin: ok, clearly you need some time to sort this out. So I’ll leave us with this. I love you. You are a very kind, imaginative woman, who cares about people. I will allow you to sit in hurt as long as you need to. Just know that anytime you’re ready to join the world again, I’ll be there to support you. Some of these people are gone for good, and that’s ok, but some still care, and may want to work it out when the time comes. You’ll see when you’re ready.

Kari: thanks George. I love you too. And I will go and get a piece of almond Kringle now, cause I love O & H kringles (1) a lot, and give you the bigger piece!

Carlin: gee, thanks, as you will be the one ingesting it for the both of us. Better make it a sliver.

Kari: ok.

Scene.

Carlin: oh, and Kari, one more thing...

Kari: what?

Carlin: friends are better, when shared. And by cutting people out, you’re not sharing you. Just sayin...

Kari: no Kringle for you!

Carlin: fine. I’ll keep our girlish figure in tact...

Kari: fine! The whole Kringle for you!

Carlin: she’s maaaaddd...

Cookie Monster: this has been monster-piece theater... good bye! Me eat all the Kringle now, then all her cookies, cause she upset, and she won’t eat anything, so it no go to waste! I love her, so I help!

Kari: I ate ALL the Kringle!

Cookie Monster: noooooooooooo...... (shakes furry blue paw in the air)

Scene scene scene.

(1):,credit for my discovery of the o & h bakery and the Kringle itself goes to my friend Bonnie, who i believe now hates my guts. ❤️

[thefemalethatwrites]

Take Care (Damian Wayne x Reader)

Request: No

Prompt: You and Damian have feeling a for each other, but neither of you know. There’s also a Charity event to go to.

Relationship: Damian Wayne/Robin x Reader

Warning: Cursing, Fighting, Blood? Injuries

Word Count: 1849

A/N: Heyo! I’m not dead!! I’ve just got two jobs a BF who I adore 🥰 Send in requests cause I need to get back into my writing cause I miss you guys!!!

Damian and Reader are 16/17

~~~

(Y/N)'s POV

"Morning" Damian greeted as he sat next to me in the classroom, jolting me awake,

"I swear I wasn't asleep" I mumbled quickly followed by a yawn,

"Why are you so tired?" He questioned,

"I had to do several projects these past few nights because other people in my group didn't do and left it for me to do" I explained, he grunted

"Inconsiderate di-"

"Good morning class" Mr Harrington greeted cutting Damian off as he entered the classroom, there was several grumbles in response, "As many of you know tonight is the night of the charity party that we will be fundraising for the unfortunate people of Gotham" he announced, some people cheered while others groaned, I just sighed resting my head on my hand, while Damian rolled his eyes.

***

"Come on baby" Nate cooed at Leanne pinning her against the lockers, which she didn't look comfortable about,

"Nate, I've told you no" Leanne retorted as she shoved him backwards,

"Who the fuck do you-"

"Back the fuck up before you get shown up" I threatened pulling him off her and standing in between the two, he glared at me with his nostrils flared, "Go on try it. I dare you" I sneered, he huffed and stormed off, I turned to Leanne "You okay?" I asked, she nodded and gave me a small smile,

"Yeah thanks" she replied before we made our way to lunch.

"So we're all going to meet up at mine and get ready then go together" Gia stated,

"What time?" I asked as I sat with them at the lunch table, the girls all looked at each other,

"Sorry (Y/N), I completely forgot to tell you that there's not enough room in the limousine for you to join" Gia replied,

"Oh, that's fine. I'll find another way to get there" I commented, truthfully I didn't have a clue how I was going to get there, this was a punch to the gut that hurt a lot, "I'll see you there" I said getting up and leaving the hall, I sat on a wall outside the school and sighed looking up to the grey sky,

"What's up?" Damian's voice hit my ears, I turned to him giving him a slight smile,

"Gia's just been nice enough to inform me that I don't have a lift to the charity party..." I trailed off, he sat next to me,

"Why do you hang around with them girls? They're nothing but selfish and they use you" he sighed,

"How do they use me?" I scoffed,

"For protection, you're the only girl in school that's willing to kick anyone's ass" he stated, I hummed,

"Willing? I can kick anyone's ass" I retorted making him chuckle before it fell silent, "(Y/N)" he said gaining my attention, he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, "Would you care to travel with me to the party? Not as a date, just as companions" he questioned, I smiled and nodded

"I'd be more than willing to join you" I answered, he nodded

"Very well, Pennyworth will be picking us up after school to take us to yours for you to grab your things then you can come get ready at the manor with me and stay overnight too" he asserted, I nodded in agreement.

***

I was sat in front of the vanity desk in the guest room that I'd been given for the night,

"My little Dami is growing up!" A older male cooed,

"Let go of me Grayson!" Damian hissed,

"Oh come on Demon, she's not a bad catch" Another male commented making my eyes widen, they were talking about me,

"Todd I won't hesitate to kill you" Damian threatened,

"(Y/N) (L/N), grade As and a few Bs all across the board, however she does have a bad track record of fighting" Another male voice chimed in,

"You searched her?!" Damian yelled,

"It's the first female you've brought home and we wanted to make sure she was good" the same male replied,

"You has no right Drake!" Damian snapped before a lot of commotion occurred, I sighed and exited the room to see the four boys all together,

"What exactly are you all doing?" I questioned, they all straightened themselves out,

"Nothing" they replied, I hummed as I approached them I looked them all up and down, "I'm going to take a guess and say you're his brothers. Dick Grayson. Jason Todd and Timothy Drake" I commented, their jaws fell open making me chuckle, "You're not the only one who did a background check" I winked before entering the room again.

***

There was a knock on the door,

"Yes?" I called out, Dick came in through the door

"Damian is wondering if you're ready" he asked, I nodded placing my lipstick in my clutch before following him, I was wearing a emerald mid-thigh dress with a trail along with silver clutch and heels, as I made my way down the stairs Damian's jaw fell open causing his brothers to chuckle, Bruce closed it for him as I approached them,

"Wow..." he breathed out,

"What?" I asked,

"You're beautiful" he whispered, I felt heat rush to my cheeks, Alfred cleared his throat

"If we're to arrive on time for your party I suggest we leave now" he informed, we both nodded and hooked up before making our way to the car.

***

I was stood with the girls at the side of the dance floor as we watched Gia dance with some random guy from our year,

"So what's the deal between you and Damian?" Leanne questioned, I raised an eyebrow towards her,

"What do you mean?" I questioned,

"It's obvious you like him-" I tuned Melody out as I noticed Gia stumbling all over the place,

"How much has Gia had to drink?" I asked,

"Oh no don't try changing the subject" Lizzie retorted,

"No seriously look" I mentioned how the guy was dragging Gia out of the dance, "Come on" I asserted as I lead the group though the dance floor and the back corridors before finding the guy hovering over Gia who was almost unconscious on the bed, and he began to unbuckled his pants, "Get off her!" I snap as I pulled him back and right hooked him on to the ground, "Get her out of here" I ordered the girls, before making my way over to the guy and kicking him in the stomach, multiple times as the girls escorted Gia out of the room, moments later I heard multiple footsteps and was tackled on to the bed away from the guy, my eyes widened as Nate pinned me to the bed, I gritted my teeth as his face hovered over mine, before I swiftly head butted him making him let go and get free from his hold, I put my back against a corner of the room as a group of Nate and his friends surrounded me.

***

I made my way to the back garden of where the party was being held as all the girls were sat there,

"(Y/N) oh-"

"I can't believe you!" Gia snapped cutting off Leanne,

"What do you mean? I've just saved you're ass" I retorted,

"No what you did was cock block me! I was finally about to get some but you came and destroyed it!" She screamed, my eyes widened in horror,

"Cock block?! You was about to be raped! Gang raped at that by Nate and his low life friends!" I yelled, she slapped me across the face making the girls gasp and me stop in my tracks, "You know what? Fuck you all! All you do is use me! Just for protection but then when I do, I'm in the wrong. I can't win with you bitches cause you're all stuck up each other's ass!" I snapped before walking away,

"Don't walk away from me! You need me!" Gia called after me making me laugh,

"No you need me!" I called back before sticking my middle finger up to them, I sat on a wall and gingerly held my dominant hand as it was now starting to throb a lot, I heard footsteps approach me,

"There you are" Damian sighed in relief as he stopped in front of me, "(Y/N) what's up? Look at me" he pleaded, I did so and his eyes widened in shock before they filled with rage, "Who did this?" He growled clenching his fist,

"It doesn't matter" I replied lowering my head again,

"Yes it does! You've got cuts, bruises and scrapes all over your face, your hand is swollen meaning you've either dislocated or broken something. You're a woman for fuck sake you shouldn't be in this state!" He snapped, I stood up

"What does being a woman have to do with me being in this state?! Is it because I'm a woman I'm not allowed to fight?! Well tough shit! It's who I am! And I said it doesn't matter because I dealt with it. They're all laying unconscious in a back room somewhere" I snapped before throwing myself back down, he sighed before crouching down to me, taking a hold of the non-dominant hand,

"I didn't mean to insult you, I just hate seeing you like this, it's not how a woman like yourself should be treated" he said,

"Oh yeah? And how am I supposed to be treated?" I asked,

"Like a queen" he answered making me scoff, "Let me finish. You do so much for everyone else that you never take care of yourself. That's why you need someone who's always going to put you first" he explained, I hummed,

"You know anyone?" I questioned as a joke, he nodded and smiled

"In fact I do. Stand up" he replied making my eyes widen as he helped me stand up, "Close your eyes" he ordered, I raised an eyebrow but did so anyway, a few moments passed before something was pressed against my lips making my eyes shoot open to see Damian kissing me, I smiled into it, closing my eyes again, wrapping my arms around his neck as he placed his hands on my waist pulling me closer, we broke apart to catch our breaths, "That wasn't the reaction I was expecting..." Damian commented, I chuckled,

"I like you a lot, incase you didn't realise. Have done for a while..." I confessed lowering my head, he cupped my face lifting it back up as he ran a thumb over my cheek,

"I've liked you a lot more than friends for a long time, (Y/N) but I've always been too scared to reveal my true emotions towards you, due to our friendship" he rambled, I smiled and kissed his palm, "Pennyworth is out front waiting for us. I'll have him look at your wounds when we get home. Then I'll let you in on a secret..." he trailed off, I nodded and took his hand with my non-dominant one as we left the venue.

[lemonjoonah]

Under Fire - Pt 5

Masterlist | <Previous | Next >

Title: Under Fire Word Count: 4K+ Rating: M Genre: Gang AU, Drama Warnings: Violence  Pairings: Hyung Line x Reader (Primarily Namjoon x Reader), very slight OT7 x Reader.   Pairings (in this chapter): V x Reader, Namjoon x Reader, JK x Reader (small part, I promise he’ll get more time soon) 

Summary: As a child you lived among the most wealthy and powerful, after the death of your mother you were shipped off to stay with her sister. Even after finishing your education you continue to live apart from the elite, but a visit home creates an unexpected disaster. You are suddenly roped into a darker world, and who better to be your guide than the infamous gang known as BTS.

A/N: Going forward you are going to see other k-pop groups popping up more and more. It makes it so much more readable to include other groups than OCs. For a GangAU you need a lot of additional characters. I know that I am not portraying them perfectly, but well... someone has to play the villain...

Chapter 5 - The Art of Evasion

POV (Y/N)

The next morning you wake encircled by Namjoon. His arms are cradling your head to his chest. His cheek rests on the top of your head. You both are still lying on the lawn chair in the cold morning air, sun peeking out behind the skyline.

The brightness however, isn’t what wakes you. That action lies with Suga, a pot, and a wooden spoon.

“What the hell Suga?” Yells Namjoon.

“Just trying to scare the pigeons away from you.” He says in his lethargic tone.

Namjoon looks to the sky, it’s empty.

“Pigeons... Really Suga? If you were jealous just say so.”

You instantly flare with a blush.

“Even if I was jealous, at least I am not taking advantage of her while she is in a vulnerable state. That would just be inconsiderate.”

Namjoons arms suddenly fling up over his head as if in surrender.

Suga cracks a smirk and leaves.

“Wow, that got to you didn’t it?” You ask. “Suga was just pushing your buttons. I am an adult, I can make my own decisions.”

He checks his watch, “We should head to the kitchen, the others will be waking up and we need to discuss plans for the day.”

On your first attempt to get up you want to vomit. You clutch your head and groan.

“Hangover?”  You make a pointing gesture with your finger at him in confirmation. Fearful of opening your mouth. He laughs, “You have my permission to blame it on Suga.”

“Thanks but I just built that bridge, I don’t think I want to risk burning it.”

Suga was in front of the stove when you enter, the other members starting to pour in too.

“Why is Suga up so early?” V yawns.

“He’s on breakfast duty this week for almost poisoning (Y/N), while simultaneously giving Jin a heart attack.”  There is a clatter of pans as Suga continues his work, while ignoring Namjoon. You go over to help Suga feeling equally responsible, but he wordlessly points you to a seat.

Suga places dishes in front of each of you consisting of eggs and toast. You look over at Namjoon’s plate to see that the toast is far darker than your own, and there seems to be a crunch to his eggs as he bites into them. Namjoon finishes off his plate but glares at Suga the entire time, Suga just smirks back at him.

“Any suspicious behaviour from VIXX?” Namjoon asks Hope.

“No, I think that they were just heading there for a drink, it didn’t seem like they knew that Suga and (Y/N) were going to be there.”

“Good, we will have to call the Rail Bar off limits for now though, just in case. (Y/N), V is going to take you to the bank today to meet with the lawyer and manager who handles your Father’s accounts. Jimin and JHope will be stationed nearby. JK will be monitoring.” You smile at JK warmly, feeling bad for not having a chance to speak with him yet.

“The new clothes are on your bed,” J-Hope informs you with his mouth full.

“I’ll be down here when you’re ready.” States V.

You step out of the Kitchen and Jin follows, “How’s your shoulder?” He asks he accompanies you upstairs. “I would like to take a look at it, probably change the bandage too. Meet me in my office after you shower.”

Hair still damp you wrap yourself in a towel and head to the small infirmary that is Jin’s office.  You did not expect to collide with a tall dark haired statue outside your door. JK grabs your waist to steady you, but once he realizes what you’re wearing quickly lets go.  A blush creeps onto his face he looked down at the floor and stutters.

“Sorry, I wanted to talk to you before you left. I didn’t mean to catch you like this.”

“It’s fine, Jin just asked to change my bandage before we head out. I’ve wanted to say thank you for your help the other day, without you I wouldn’t have made it out.”

“It was nothing,” he says shyly. “RM says that you are pretty tech savvy yourself, I was hoping once you were finished with the bank that you could assist me with creating a line to your set up in Busan. I figured it would be less intrusive to use your door to access the police database then create my own.       

“Ah, he told you about that did he? Of course, and I would love to see your setup here.” You start to twist your hair into a knot. “I’m self taught and new to the skill so I would love any advice or help you can give.”

“Hacking the BPD is impressive, there’s no way you are a noob.”

“It’s just a piggy back.”

JK seems much more relaxed discussing a topic that he knows well. But it doesn’t last long when he accidentally glances back down. “I’ll come find you once I’m back.” You say essentially offering him a chance to bail. He takes it nodding his eyes wide as he hurries around the corner.

You spot Jin leaning against the the doorway of the infirmary. “Is he always so shy?”

“Just with new people, soon you won’t be able to shut him up.” He looks down at your towel, “Your state of dress probably didn’t help either.”

Jin gestures to the table so he could get a good look at your injury under the light.

You inhale sharply as he takes the bandage off.

“It’s healing well, still no sign of infection.” His eyes are on the wound but his mind seems to be elsewhere. “RM and I are planning the memorial for tomorrow.  I hope that we did not overstep. Is there anything that you might like to include?”

“No, you clearly knew him better than I did. Thank you for setting it up.”

“It’ll just be us there, is that okay?”

You nod smiling through the pain. You understand, that it’s time to put your mask back on, and face reality in your new role, heir to the billionaire philanthropist. “Keeping everything out of the spotlight would probably be for the best.”

Hope had laid out a black pencil skirt and green blouse with a trench coat. Coat in hand you make your way downstairs. V is at the door along with Namjoon, Jhope and Jimin.

“You can tell that Hope dressed you, that boy loves green. I’ll have to take you shopping sometime.” V comments.

“He does does he?” You eye him carefully as he stands next to you. While the rest are receiving orders you lean over to Hope. “Sales clerk picked them out huh?”

“She asked for my favourite colour what was I supposed to say?”

“That it wasn’t for your girlfriend you dork, you could have just invented a friend in the hospital or something.”       

He gives you a nervous smile, as he helps you put on your coat.

Once Namjoon has finished talking to the rest of the group, he turns to you. “Henry will meet you at the bank, he’s your father’s lawyer and has handled your father’s accounts for several years. V is the best at handling the legal aspects. If you have any questions, he can help.”

He looks down at you grabbing your shaking hands, “This is the easy part I promise, just a few dotted lines to sign.”

He could tell you are getting nervous. This isn’t your first choice. You could say no, however that would be a disadvantage, not only to the team, but also your father’s foundation.

J-Hope and Jimin sit in the front, you are seated in the back with V, who has matched your formal attire with a suite. The drive there is quiet.  V would look over at you every now and then with a side glance.

When you pull up to the bank V opens the door and holds out his hand to take yours. As he guides you up the marble steps he whispers, “No need to be worried, if anything they should be nervous. You could shut this whole bank down by simply demanding your money. Actually, let’s try it, give them a bit of a scare.”

You chuckle, “Thanks V, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” When you reach the top a younger gentleman bows to you. “Miss (L/N)?” You are taken aback. In Busan you went by your mother’s maiden name (L/N), while everyone in Seoul called you Park. Hearing it again makes you feel like your life is split in two. Sensing your apprehension he corrects himself, “Forgive me would you prefer Miss Park?”

V introduced him before you can answer, “(Y/N) this is Lau Henry, he will be assisting you now, he has agreed to continue to conduct your father's business under your name.”

You greet him with a nod, “Park is more suitable going forward.”  

“He was in charge of drafting the will and has known about you for some time.” V says darkly.

“The information was all there you just had to know where to look V.”

“How was I to expect that he would keep a daughter hidden?!”

“Of course a man of his wealth and status would have a child, what did you think would happen when he passed?”

“I don’t know I thought that he might adopt RM, take him on as an heir.”

Your anxiety immediately goes into overdrive. Oh god is that what they thought? Are they bitter because Namjoon wasn’t the heir? Are they just pandering until they could take the money from you? Do they just see you as an obstacle  to overcome? The possibilities keep popping into you mind, each one worse than the last.

As you are being lead into the bank you are introduced to several people but you can’t hear a word that anyone was saying. You are drowning in your own head.

You wish V wasn’t so perceptive.  Apologizing for your inattentiveness and trying to shield you from the barrage of legal information. Your heart continues to beat at a racing pace, your breathing shallow. The lawyers leave the room for a moment to grab the documents needed. V reached for you hand, “Just a couple of signatures and we are out of here. Think of something that brings focus to your mind it’ll help you relax. I personally like think of ways I could rob these crooks,” He smiles.

“An interesting method,” You laugh at his joke,  thankful for the distraction, that interrupts your thoughts.

“Real money can be messy, acquiring the zeros digitally would be safer and less trackable, but also less fun,” he adds.

“Wait, you’re serious?”

“Of course, you need...” V suddenly zones out mid sentence. “Yep I see them JK.”

V is obviously listening to a conversation in his earpiece. You are flustered having been once again left in the dark.

“How the hell am I supposed to know who they are with, I’m not the one with the database in front of me.” He continues to bicker with the voices in his ear.

Your temper rises, “Who do you have to fuck to get an earpiece?” You mutter darkly hoping he would catch on to your annoyance.

V instantly shut down. “Ah sorry, that would be me... not that you need to exchange sexual favours for a radio, I’m just in charge of tech.” He pulled a new ear piece out of his breast pocket. “JK put ear piece 2 - 1 - Charlie - Golf on the channel, listed as Fire.”

He placed a hand under my chin as he put the bud in my ear. “Fit okay?” You nod. “My mic is in here,” He taps his collar, “Sorry I don’t have an extra one of those, but mine should be able to pick you up.”

“Okay guys let's keep the crassness to a minimum, Fire is online. First person to swear has to answer to Jin.”

“Welcome Fire.” I could hear the smile in J Hope's voice. Hearing your old nickname comforts you.

“No existing records that I can see.” JK must have still been trying to work out who they were.

“Can I take a closer look?”

“No stay at your post Jimin. I don’t want them catching on that we know. They must be new blood.”

“They are probably just following you to get a location when you return to the base.” V turns to you unexpectedly, “What do you think we should do in this case Fire?”

You are confused but his interest in your opinion but decide to play along. “Ignore them, let them follow until we can get to a busy place with lots of turns and escape routes.”

“Looks like we are going to the art museum,” V smiles.

“Are you even allowed in there V?” asks Jimin.

“I am as long as they don’t recognize me.”

Henry and the bankers chose this time to return to the office preventing you from asking V why he wouldn’t be allowed in.

You began to sign the papers in a daze as the conversation in your head continues.

“Nope definitely not allowed in they have a mug shot on the banned list, I doubt they would be able to identify him now I mean look at that hair!”

“Send me a pic JK,” Jimin whines.

“Check your phone it’s already there.”

“Ha hair, more like lack of, nice buzz cut.”

V’s face is blank. He takes out his phone types a quick message and then returns it to his pocket.”

“You could try beating me to a fucking pulp, but I don’t think you would last one round.”

Once again V take out his phone.

“I didn’t swear in front of her I was just reading your text, aishhh Jin  is going to kill me.”

You see a slight smile slide onto V’s face.   

“Miss Park that should be it, I will have a financer contact you later on to go over your plans for the foundation, and your own funds. I am sure that you would like some time to process before you dive into it.”

“Yes thank you. That would be the best course of action.”

“The transfers will take tonight so you should have access to your funds by tomorrow.”

One of the bankers stood up. “Congratulations Miss Park, you are now one of the richest people in Korea.” He boasts.

You snap at his smug grin, “Congratulations? Tell me do you think I am proud I watched my father die in front of me? Do you think I enjoyed it? That is the only reason I am hear after all, am I to be congratulated for his demise? Believe me when I say, I would gladly give away every dime of that inheritance to bring him back.” You can hear shouts of agreement over the earpiece.

“My apologies mamame I did not intend to insult you.”

“No, no of course not... I’m sure it would not be an insult coming from someone who values wealth over human life.” You turn to Henry, “We should consider changing financial establishments I am not sure that I trust the way that they conduct business here. If you could contact other banking institutions on my behalf I would like to meet with them.”

Henry nods taking down notes with a small smile.  The bank manager is in shock. “Madame I am truly sorry for the offense. How can we insure that we keep your patronage?” The formality coming from a man of his age towards you is almost enough to make me laugh. You have him scared shitless.

“Perhaps we could continue this meeting with Lunch at La Yeon?” He suggests

“So you can wine and dine me? You continue to dig yourself a deeper hole. Show me that you and your bank can actually work for a community for once instead of bleeding it dry. Then maybe I will allow you to continue holding my father’s fortune.”

You turn your back on their ninety degree bows, V at your side beaming. You say goodbye to Henry at the lobby exit. V pulls you into an alcove over at the side. “Your father would have been proud of how you handled yourself in there.”

You smile back at him. You knew going in they would try to take advantage you and your situation, keeping them on their toes would be the easiest way to show you would not be controlled.  

“Ready for the next test?”

“Two hawks still hovering,” JK comments.

“Right, let’s move.” He offered his arm to me, “Best to look as natural as possible, as if we are on our way to the museum for a date.”

“Don’t push it V,” Scolds Hope.

“As friends of course,” V adds trying to cover his intentions.

You take his arm as you exit the bank.

“We will meet you guys there, the second you lose them head to the car it’ll be at the back entrance.”

“Jimin stay on as driver, JHope will be extraction backup for emergencies only. The less attention we can draw the better. Fire is still the center of the news cycle, we don’t need another scene just yet.” JK informs them of their roles.

You couldn’t help but speed up your pace as you walk down the street.

“Whoa slow it down, we need to give the others time to set up the route, and you don’t want to let on that we know. I am going to point at this very uninteresting bakery on the right, you are going to look at it, laugh and see if you can spot the hawks out of the corner of your eye.”

You do just that, noticing two people that didn’t fit with the surrounding crowd.

“Two sore thumbs in suites?”

V confirms, “Bingo! JK do you have the museum’s cameras online yet?”

“Yeah busy day there it’ll be easy to loose them in the crowd. It looks like they shut down the back west portion for renovations. It’s completely empty, might be a good place to break away and make a run for it I can turn off the alarms on the doors so you will go unnoticed, but V will need to grab a key..”

“Any idea on who they are with yet?” V asks

“Still nothing turning up in the database.” JK sighs in disappointment.

“Damn, I would really like to know who we are about to piss off.”

“Based on proximity it might be EXO.” Guesses Jimin.

“Let’s hope it’s not.” Responds Hope.

A light drizzle begins to descent as you continue to walk. V pulls out an umbrella and you both huddle beneath it , several other pedestrians around you popping open their own.

“They are going to get closer as to not lose us, just remain calm and follow my lead.” His slender hand grabs yours as you continue down the street.

The museum is in constant flux with exhibits. The Van Gogh exhibition doesn’t open for three more days. This leaves the west wing, our destination closed to the public. V buys the tickets as you grab a map, but instead of focusing on the exhibits you memorize the exits.

“Looks like that closed exhibit is still going to be your best bet every other corner of this place is full of people and someone will notice an abrupt exit.” JK instructs.

You are able to stop by a few of the other displays before making our way to the final destination. If V is nervous he didn’t show it, instead he seems to be enjoying himself. You clench the map and umbrella, repeating V’s tips in your head, slow your pace, don’t make sudden movements, smile, and focus on the art. After a sufficient amount of time you notice your convoy starts to lag back again. You see a sign stating that the exhibit you’re approaching is closed.

“Still empty JK?’

“Yeah the only people inside are the ballet dancers in the paintings.”

V had taken a key card from a security guard but the door is already unlocked.

“Wait,” you grabbed V’s arm realizing that something is wrong, “Van Goh didn’t paint ballet...”

You don’t get to finish your thought before being pulled into the room by V. You had run into the gallery blindly trusting JK’s assessment. The frames on the walls are empty, the room is not.

The door shut behind you. You have a strange sense of Deja Vu come over you. V shoves me into a corner and places himself between me and the 4 men now approaching.  Your shoulder hits the wall causing you to wince but the pain was nothing compared to the fear you now feel. I remember  these faces from the police database in Busan. All of the major cities in Korea had files on the suspected members of EXO.

  “Wasn’t sure that you would come, but now I can see that you are as predictable as ever V.” The leader spoke, you recognize him as Suho from his mug shot. How could they have know to set this up? Someone had to have told them you were on your way here.

You look at the bare walls, “Must have been a screenshot they had on file, the Dega exhibit hasn’t been here for a while.”  You mutter to V hoping they can hear you through his mic.

You heard JK cursing loudly on the headset. “Can’t believe I fell for a fucking screenshot.”  

Jimin becomes the voice of reason, “Calm down, find them a way out of there.”

“I can’t it’s gone dark now, all of it has. Their hacker must have a more direct connection.”  

Two of the members came up on either side of V, he take a swing but receives a punch to the gut instead, giving them a chance to take hold of his arms.

 You mind is racing, thinking back to the map. Only two exits from this room the door we came in, the other the other at the end of the series of adjoining rooms. Definitely not ideal.

Suho approaches V, pulls out his earpiece and crushes in on the floor with his foot.

“V’s radio is damaged, Hope you’re up.”

“On my way (Y/N), keep them distracted and whatever you do don’t let them move you, Jimin be ready with the car.”

“I heard that you had quite the security breach the other night. GOT7 getting in the manor grounds. My patron was sad to hear of the death of Mr. Park, he will be paying his respects soon. But for another gang to take out your founder, I don’t think your reputation will ever recover  from that devastation.”

V grits his teeth. “You speak of it as though EXO had nothing to do with it, we all know who holds the leash of GOT7.”

“GOT7 acted on their own, although we might have let it slip that BTS were the ones interfering with their cargo deliveries.”

V pulls against those holding him.

“But we are not here to gloat, play nice pooch I need to talk to your new master for a moment.”

V wasn’t having it as they pulled him away from his position in front of me. He lashes out only to receive a beating in return.

Suho looks to you, “Forgive my rudeness Miss Park. I will have to introduce myself as V seems determined to keep you from me.”

“No need Suho, let’s cut the formalities. What do you want?”

His eyes flare, you are sure he did not expect you to respond in such an aggressive manner. “My patron wished for me to pass along a message. He would like for BTS to disband, and call off any projects. There is no point in continuing your father’s foolish goals. He wouldn’t want you to encounter the same fate as your mother.”

You can’t hide the shock on your face. Suho holds a smirk and steps closer to you, “They haven’t told you yet have they?”

You could barely hear Jimin over the ear piece. “I’m so sorry Fire, we were going to tell you.”

You are petrified but at the same time furious. Completely distracted you are unsure of what to do. JHope calls your attention back, “Fire I’m outside the door, I need a distraction, I’m going in blind.”

You realize that you are still clutching the umbrella in your hand. Suho doesn’t seem to notice your earpiece thanks to your hair.  You doubt that he can expect what’s coming next. “Now!” you shout as you swing your umbrella at Suho’s face making contact with his nose.

Hearing your voice J-Hope comes bursting in the door guns in hand. V uses this moment of surprise to take down his captors. You both made a break for Hope but you are not so lucky. Suho catches your arm and hold you against his chest as a shield.

Hope is livid, “Suho you’re sporting a little blood on your face, it’s a good look. If you want we could add to it.”

“As if you would have the guts to shoot me with her right here.”  

“I might not, but Suga does.” J-Hope smiles.

The colour drains from Suho face as he looks to the windows, and the tall buildings outside. You are suddenly thrust forward. V catches hold of you.

“No need, call him off we were just here to deliver a message.”

JHope mutters, “stand down” while holding his ear as if he was talking to someone. You can only hear Jimin on the line chuckling darkly.

“I’m guessing you heard it, tell RM to back off his plan or next time we’ll take her.” His glare at you does not go unnoticed, as V grips you even tighter. Suho continues with a lighter tone, “I was hoping that Jin would be here too, if you could pass on the well wishes of his father and the invitation to return.”

Once again you are stunned by his words, but your desire to flee is far greater than your curiosity.

J-Hope steps slowly back to the door, you and V follow suit. “If you think Jin is going back to his father, you must be on your own product.”

“No, I just understand how detrimental it can be to lose one's founder. You have a new link in the chain. Sure it’s pretty but it’s also weak, she won’t be able to support you before you come crashing down. It would be wiser for Jin to come back while he still can.” Suho turned his eyes back to you, “ It was lovely to meet you Miss Park. I’m sure we will see you again soon.”

You continue to retreat until your backs made it to the door. J-Hope still has his guns aimed, while you and V slip out the door, he quickly follows once your clear. You run down the hall to the exit V flipping the fire alarm on the way. All at once, there is a rush of the people to the doors hope grabs both you and V to prevent separation. Anyone watching would have had difficulty picking you out of the crowd. The tinted SUV is off to the side of the exit, you all scramble in. Jimin keeping his eyes on the rear-view mirror as he pulls out onto the road.

[smoochcal]

numb without you (part six)

a/n: we got 20 notes on part 5!!! a little reminder that I would really like to get at least 20 notes on the previous part before I post the next one, so please tell your friends about this series :) I just wanted to take some time to thank each and every one of you for supporting my writing. if you have any suggestions on how you want this series to go, please let me know!! this series has quickly become my baby and I am very proud of it. also, a big giant thank you to el for helping me with the little details of this series and for inspiring me to be soft on a daily basis about both luke and calum. I have so much love for you it’s kind of ridiculous. (read part five here)

pairing: readerxluke

word count: 1.8 k

playlist: numb without you by the maine, risky business by the cab

summary: you get morning sickness for the first time and don’t want to bother Luke with it

warnings: swearing, mentions of puking, slight jealousy

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Y/N’s POV:

Can it even be called morning sickness if you are dry heaving over your toilet at 11pm?

I mean it is a possibility that this is just the aftermath of you eating too much ice cream, but you really doubt it. Especially because your doctor was surprised that you had not experienced any morning sickness yet. Of course, this had to happen right after you were left alone though. You always hated being sick and if right now is any indication of how the rest of this pregnancy is going to go, you better be prepared for a lot of sickness. The waves of nausea are still hitting you pretty hard, but you go into the kitchen to see if you have any ginger ale or sprite or saltine crackers to calm your stomach. That’s what always helped when you were little at least.

After five minutes of frantically looking for food in between the waves of nausea that made you hover over your sink more often than not you decide that you do not have anything that could help you in your current situation. You sigh at the thought that is making its way to the front of your mind as you pick up your phone. You don’t want to call Luke since he was just here, and you really don’t have many other options of people that can help you. But you definitely need someone to get you some ginger ale as soon as possible if you want to make it to work in the morning. You scroll through your contacts and your thumb hovers over the person who you inevitably have to turn to.

Calum.

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Calum’s POV:

11:55 PM

That’s the time my clock reads when you were rudely woken up by someone calling. The minute you finally open my eyes and see who is calling, you answer right away feeling bad for even thinking negatively about the situation.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” you mutter quickly, worried that something bad has happened since you left her earlier today.

“Calum, calm down. I’m okay, the baby is okay…just…fuck can you go to the store and bring me some ginger ale? I’ve been puking for the past hour or I would get it myself…and I would ask Luke, but he recently left and-” Y/N starts but you cut her off.

“I’ll be there in twenty…hang in there,” you say before quickly hanging up and putting on your shoes.

You guess this is only the beginning to your late-night rendezvouses with Y/N, which forms a pit in your stomach worried about the future.

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Y/N’s POV:

Literally in twenty minutes flat Calum was at your door step with two bags from the nearby grocery store. You could not be more thankful for him at a time like this. You stop violently retching your guts up about five minutes ago which you were rather pleased about considering you did not want Calum to see you like that…not like he won’t see you at your worst throughout this pregnancy, but today was not that day.

He brought you a two liter of ginger ale, your favorite kind to be exact, and some crackers and other various snacks for when you were feeling a little bit more yourself. You were so thankful that he was able to bring you what you needed, but you can’t help but feel a little guilty that you asked him instead of Luke. In any other circumstance you would’ve asked Luke over Calum but you felt weird asking Luke to come back so soon after he had just left. He’s still your best friend but you don’t want to put all the “father of the baby” type responsibilities on him when Calum is the father and Luke isn’t.

You’re sure this isn’t going to be the only time that you feel this way. It just sucks because you were so close to Luke before this and you don’t want a baby to ruin your relationship with your best friend. God, why couldn’t you have just made your move in Luke instead of Calum. What were you thinking?

Before you could dive deeper into this self pity rabbit hole you were digging yourself, Calum grabs your attention.

“Is there anything else that I can get you before I go home? It’s getting kinda late and I know we both have work in the morning…” he says, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“No no I’m good…thank you again for everything. Sorry that I woke you up…” you respond, feeling bad that you had been so inconsiderate of his time.

You walked him to the front door, thanking him about seven more times for helping you out. He asks you to keep him updated on anything else that happens. Especially the nausea which makes you laugh. And just like that you are alone again. You pour yourself a glass of ginger ale and decide it would probably be best if you got ready for bed considering it was already 12:00 and you had to be up for work at 7:00. You take a sip of your drink, already feeling better and lay down hoping that sleep comes easily tonight. Before you know it, you were out like a light.

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~The Next Day~

Luke’s POV:

You can’t believe it. You can’t believe she chose Calum over you. Okay, maybe that is just you being a little dramatic. But she really called Calum last night instead of me? What happened to my best friend who would call me if she needed a bug killed in her apartment? Shouldn’t this be the same thing?

You’re sure she has a reasonable explanation for why she chose him, so you really shouldn’t worry about it. It was just a one-time thing, or that’s what you keep telling yourself. You know you shouldn’t let your emotions get the best of you; jealousy doesn’t look good on you anyway. But the longer you think about it, the more these negative emotions fester inside of you.

You decide to text her.

To: Y/N

From: Luke

Guess Calum is better at midnight runs than me?

You know you shouldn’t have sent that message as soon as you see the “read” sign underneath it.

Shit.

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Y/N’s POV:

Oh, you have GOT to be shitting me. He really is pulling this shit right now. When my evening “morning” sickness is in full swing? You really are angry with Luke. Like really really freaking angry. Is he being serious right now? You know your anger can get the best of you and that is definitely what is happening right now. You pick up your phone and dial his number.

“We are not playing whatever this jealousy followed by guilt thing is. If you want to talk come over to mine. And don’t you dare mention anything about the smell of vomit,” you state blatantly, hanging up the phone before he has the opportunity to respond.

Within ten minutes Luke is at your door letting himself in with the key you gave him in case of emergencies, which he determined this was. He found you sitting on the floor of your bathroom, your hair matted down on your forehead and a cup of water sitting next to you. He sits down next to you, rubbing your back and handing you the ginger ale he picked up for you on the way over.

“I’m sorry for being jealous…I’m just not used to someone else taking care of my best friend when she needs it the most,” Luke starts, looking down to avoid eye contact.

He helps you up off the floor and hands you your tooth brush to allow you to brush your teeth and attempt to get the nasty taste out of your mouth. He then goes into your room and grabs some new clothes for you to change into, assuming your other clothes are sweaty from the time spent puking. He found a shirt that used to belong to him and a pair of sweatpants for you to change into and left your room to give you some privacy. You didn’t even realize that he handed you the shirt that until recently belonged to him when you changed shirts. When you were finished getting changed you went into the living room where you found Luke sitting on your couch, his favorite blanket of yours already draped across his lap. You sit next to him and he shares the blanket with you, giving you a sheepish smile.

“I’m going to tell you something and you have to promise me that you won’t be mad about it, at least not at first,” you say, hoping that he will comply and not say anything to test your patience anymore.

“Okay, I’m listening,” he replied, allowing you to say everything you need to.

“Here goes nothing…recently I have had a lot of time to think and reflect on what I want to happen in the next couple months before the baby comes. I have given it a lot of thought and I don’t think there will be any romantic involvement between me and Calum. That being said, I still want him to be a part of the baby’s life and he will be around me and the baby from here on out. But you are still my best friend. I want you to be here as often as you want, but you have to understand that I don’t always want to bother you with little things like getting me ginger ale at odd hours of the night. You have to know that Calum is going to want to be as much a part of this pregnancy as you may want to be. He is always going to be the baby’s father and he will always be around now. He is your friend too so this should not be that big of a deal. You’re my best friend, Luke and you always will be. I just wanted you to know my headspace with all of this so I would have some peace of mind. So if you could please put your jealousy aside and just embrace the fact that your goddaughter or godson will be here in less than six months that would be very helpful,” you ramble, completely disregarding the fact that you just spilled the beans on asking Luke to be your baby’s godfather.

To be continued…