#I know i do this like once every few months but he is one of my favorite artists and it is a TRAVESTY how much his music is glossed over
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willowed-wisp · 2 days ago
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GHOST AS A DAD [ simon riley ]
part two
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- Never wanted kids, he was so careful not to get you pregnant but with the amount you guys fuck, it was bound to happen.
- You’re scared when you get that positive test… you cry out of fear that you’ll have to get rid of the thing you had always wanted.
- It took you a week to gain the courage to tell him, you just left the pregnancy test on the kitchen table and left for work. You wanted to let him sit with it for a few hours.
- When you did return home, he sat on the sofa- elbows to knees looking down at the test. How long had he been like that?
- You waited for him to speak, while you shuffled around with that nauseous feeling bubbling in your stomach.
- It was late in the afternoon so you started chopping some vegetables for dinner, “I’ll call the termination clinic in the morning…” Your voice mulled over the slices weighing down on the wooden chopping board.
- Fingers crawled along your waistband as he rested against the sink. “No. You’re not.” You rested the knife down.
- “I thought you didn’t want kids…?” Your eyes on the verge of tearing, looking back at him. Your cool, mysterious man… finding purchase in those deep dark eyes.
- His bare hands wrapped around you- resting under your shirt. “I can’t put you through tha’,” His light hair tickled while his chin rested on your shoulder, “You’re the only person I’d wanna do this with.”
- He was there for the first and second of your pregnancy. Simon held your hair back while you threw up almost every day and he rubbed your back.
- Simon is very careful when having sex with you, but he soon realised that you feel everything 10x as much. And your sex drive is through the roof, he’s never been so needy in his entire life… you were so desperate for him and he wanted you just as much.
- Simon gets deployed during your 7th month. He doesn’t want to go… nearly refuses. Unfortunately he can’t do that.
- You’re stressed after he leaves. But his family takes care of you- he asked for them to.
- When he lands back on British soil, he immediately phones you. You pick up, and the cry of a baby is all he hears before he drops the phone and falls to his knees.
- He’s crying, actually in tears. “Is Y/N alright, LT?” Of course Soap was the one to see him like that.
- Simon nods, laughing, “I’m a dad…”
- He’s never driven so fast in his life, and you’re there on the sofa he had been 8 months ago with that test in his hand. This time you cradle a little human in your arms, swaddled like a bundle.
- He drops to his knees once more, ripping his mask off. And your warmth covers him with the little sighs coming from the now awake baby.
- Simon fell in love. He didn’t know if he was looking at a son or a daughter.
- You two didn’t want to know the gender.
- “Simon Riley… meet your daughter…” He melted again, face red and brown eyes bloodshot as he cradled the little one in his arms. Dotting into the identical eyes staring up at him.
- That’s when he held her close, head against his chest. “My little princess…” He hummed so gentle, rocking her slightly.
- He is so girl dad coded. He’ll be so sweet with her and she’d always come to her dad if anything was wrong
- Your little girl would play with his masks all the time, it never annoyed him- only making him giggle. Telling her to stop so playfully and boyishly, that you’d never seen him so soft-hearted before.
- You most likely have at most two more children after your daughter- maybe one girl and a boy.
- Simon definitely teaches your children self defence from a young age. Safety was everything and he wasn’t always around to protect them.
- He’s there every award ceremony he’s on leave and is the most doting father ever.
- Your children’s friends are terrified of him, until they get him talking- then they’re like ‘your dad’s cool.’
Did you want a part 2 of this?
Part Two is posted!
———
masterlist
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notlongtolove · 2 days ago
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the cup holds the tea
it hits you all at once and you’re out of the booth in a flash, spencer right behind you. you’ve barely made it to the sidewalk when the drinks betray you—straight onto spencer’s shoes. the world blurs, and all you can think, mortified, is that you’ve just broken one of the cardinal rules of dating.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)
genre: fluff
content: bau!reader has too much to drink and its up to bf!spencer to get her home. and brief mentions of puke... oh reader...
word count: 3k
note: well personally i don't know if i could ever love someone enough where i would lay on my bed in my 'outside clothes' but good on you spence! once i slipped and fell in someone's puke and cried all the way home.
a line: They’ve seen Spencer look at a thousand things with fascination—books, theories, puzzles, statistics. But this? This is something else entirely.
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It is a kind of love, is it not? How the cup holds the tea, How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare, How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes Or toes. How soles of feet know Where they’re supposed to be. - pat schneider
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The room hangs on your words, the perfect moment of suspense stretched like a tightrope. You let it linger, savoring the pause.
“And they ate every last drop of it!”
The punchline lands, and laughter spills out around the table, loud and easy. You beam. Spencer watches you, his gaze warm, almost reverent. He’s always known you had this gift—how you could spin a story, command a room. If he weren’t so completely in love with you, he might’ve envied it. No amount of books or degrees could teach him your knack for recounting stories with such flair, or your ability to whip up comebacks at speeds that leave even Derek speechless.
Spencer’s lucky, and he knows it. His eyes trace the curve of your smile as you sip from your glass, your third—or fourth? He’s lost count. He notices you’re not wincing at its taste anymore and well, you know what they say when the drinks start to taste like water. The fact that you’re tearing up at something Garcia’s showing you—a sloth video, from what he can tell, doesn’t ease his worries in the slightest either. He's not entirely sure what Emily has been ordering for the table but whatever it is, it’s clearly doing its job.
It’s one of those rare nights out, the kind where the team sets work aside and pretends, for a few hours, that the weight of the world isn’t on their shoulders. Rossi had insisted, his treat he said, but Spencer suspects it was just an excuse for the team to watch you two loosen up, to let your guard down. A carefully orchestrated opportunity for the team to see something they hardly ever got to see. They’ve seen you two in the field, sharp and focused, in sync like clockwork. But tonight it's the way you lean into Spencer’s side without realizing it, the way Spencer gently moves your glass out of harm’s way when you gesture too wildly. This is a glimpse of something sacred, something rare.
It’d only been about a month since you and Spencer had made it official. Everyone saw it coming long before you did, but that didn’t stop the teasing once the news broke. They could barely pick their jaws up from off the floor even tonight when Spencer had his hand resting lightly on your waist, steadying you through the crowd as you laughed yourself breathless, stumbling. At work, you both keep it professional, steering clear of anything that might make Hotch raise an eyebrow. But the dim light of the bar is ever so tempting. The bar is full of loud laughter and clinking glasses and you just can’t help but take Spencer's hand into yours, fingers laced without hesitation. 
Spencer catches the way Derek’s eyes light up at the sight, the subtle nudge he gives Emily. He knows they’re going to bring this up later, probably all week.
But he doesn’t move his hand. He doesn’t let go.
The booth is packed tight as you’re all wedged together, shoulders brushing. Everyone’s smiling, unwinding in a way you rarely allow yourselves to, laughter bouncing in overlapping bursts. Spencer sits nursing his water, content to observe. His eyes are drawn back to you over and over, catching on the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh and the animated gestures you make as you speak.
“C’mon, pretty boy, live a little,” Derek teases, “Just one drink.”
Spencer gives a sheepish smile, waving it off. “I’m fine,” he says, eyes flicking over to you once more.
He can’t keep his eyes off you tonight, it seems. You’re laughing, and It’s unmistakable, the adoration in his gaze, something so un-Spencer-like that makes Derek smile.
He knows Spencer’s not one to drink. You, on the other hand, seem a little too eager, maybe encouraged by Emily’s coaxing, and you’re already on your next drink, cheeks bright and eyes sparkling. You lean into Garcia’s cheers, your glass lifted high. Your laughter is bright and unrestrained, pulling everyone else along with it.
Spencer considers saying something when you're giggling a little more than usual, laughing too hard at a joke that doesn't warrant it. But he knows how you’d take it. You’d wave him off with that familiar insistence, the same as always. It wasn't like you couldn't hold your own, Spencer knows that. You’d held your own at Rossi’s birthday last year just fine, outlasting nearly everyone—everyone except Rossi of course. And that’s probably why he’d already taken his leave tonight, not wanting to get caught in the tail end of whatever chaos this night will inevitably bring.
But that was then and now— Well, it’s different now. Now, the role of boyfriend sits heavier on his shoulders, a title he’s all too happy to hold. And tonight, it’s a card he’s all too happy to play. It gives him leverage, an edge that makes him feel like he has a little more room to step in without you pulling the I don’t need anyone to take care of me speech. 
Spencer sees his opening as lean back into his side a little too comfortably. “Here,” he murmurs, pressing his glass into your hand. “Drink this.”
He hopes you’re just tipsy enough not to ask too many questions, as long as it’s something from the bar. For a moment, it seems like it works—you sit up, eyeing the glass cautiously, then take it from him with slow deliberation.
Almost there, he thinks.
You peer into the glass, squinting at the clear liquid, then give it a small sniff. Spencer’s heart sinks as your expression shifts.
“This is water,” you say, suspiciously.
“Yes, it is,” he admits.
Your brow furrows, the faintest pout tugging at your lips. “I’m drinking vodka.”
“And now you’re drinking water.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you, and I’d rather not carry you out of here tonight,” he says softly, the faintest flush colouring his cheeks.
You look up at him, unimpressed, but he stays firm. “Just drink the water, sweetheart,” he says quietly, his voice barely cutting through the noise.
He braces himself for your resistance. Instead, you huff, give him a pointed glare, and drink it. He watches as you sip, your nose scrunching at the lack of a bite. Spencer lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 
The night winds on, the team louder than usual, swept up in Derek’s overly dramatic retelling of the prank war that once took over the bullpen. But you’re quieter, Spencer notices, the drinks maybe finally settling in a little too fast. Your smile slower, your laughter softer, head resting on his shoulder now and again. 
And then, suddenly, you’re not looking so well. It hits you all at once. The queasy welling in your stomach, the cold sweat prickling your skin. You’re out of the booth in a flash, Spencer right behind you as you stumble toward the door, your hand clamped over your mouth. 
You’ve barely made it to the sidewalk when the drinks betray you—straight onto Spencer’s shoes. The world blurs, and all you can think, mortified, is that you’ve just broken one of the cardinal rules of dating.
Of all people it had to be Spencer—germ-conscious, always-prepared Spencer—your lovely boyfriend who at this moment you’re not sure you can ever look in the eyes again Spencer. 
You don’t have to look up to see the team’s reaction as they round the corner, wide-eyed as they process what just happened. Derek’s mouth falls open in disbelief, Emily stares in shock, and Garcia whispers a dramatic, “Oh, no…”
They’re frozen. Because Spencer—Spencer, who uses hand sanitizer like it’s an extension of his arm, Spencer who’s the first to scrunch his nose at anything remotely messy—has just had his shoes christened in the worst way. You know they’re waiting for Spencer’s reaction, the tense recoil, the carefully contained grimace.
But it doesn’t come.
Instead, Spencer pauses, takes a measured breath, and steps closer to you, his hands steady on your shoulders. “Hey,” he asks, voice low and soothing as he crouches to meet your gaze. “Sweetheart, you okay?” He brushes your hair away from your face, his touch careful and kind.
“Spence—” you mumble, your voice cracking with embarrassment. Your hands fly to cover your face. “I’m so sorry. Your shoes—oh my God, your shoes—”
Spencer shakes his head, a quiet laugh escaping as he crouches to steady you. His voice is impossibly gentle, calm in a way that eases the edges of your shame. “It’s fine. They’re just shoes,” he says softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your flushed face. “Let’s get you home, okay?” 
You nod, eyes shut, clearly mortified but he doesn’t let you dwell on it. He takes your hand, his grip firm but gentle. For a brief moment, Spencer contemplates asking the bartender for a glass of water to rinse off the mess, but he glances at you—your slightly swaying frame, the way your head droops just a little—and decides against it.
Getting you home safely takes precedence over everything else. Shoes can wait. You can’t.
Emily’s mouth falls open slightly as she watches, “Did Reid just…?” she murmurs, half to herself, as Derek gapes beside her. “Didn’t think the kid had it in him,” Derek says, shaking his head, a grin slowly spreading. Garcia sniffs, dramatically dabbing at her eyes. “I knew he loved her, but this? This is another level.” she says letting out a dreamy sigh. 
They linger, watching as Spencer guides you steadily toward the car with careful patience. He helps you in, crouching to fasten your seatbelt. You’re still mumbling apologies, your voice thick with embarrassment, but Spencer doesn’t falter. Instead, he shrugs off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders even as the mess on his shoes remains. There’s not even a hint of disgust on his face—if anything, he’s focused, caring, murmuring words of reassurance as he tucks his jacket around you. His hand lingers on yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a silent promise that nothing about this has shaken him. 
“I’m so sorry, Spence,” you whisper again, your voice small and heavy with guilt. “I ruined your shoes. And your jacket. And—”
“It’s fine. You’re fine. Besides, I was planning to throw them out anyway.”
You shake your head weakly, your tone petulant even through your embarrassment. “Nooo, don’t throw them out because of me.”
His lips twitch, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Well, what do you suggest I do with them, angel?”
“I’ll wash them,” you declare, your words slow and sleepy.
Spencer raises an eyebrow, clearly entertained. “You’ll wash them?”
“Mhmm,” you murmur, already halfway to drifting off against the seat.
“How about we get you home first and then worry about the shoes, okay?” he says gently.
“’Kay,” you whisper, your voice barely audible as sleep begins to take hold.
Spencer stands, glancing back at the bar where the team is gathered. They’re not even pretending to hide their stares anymore, and he knows he’s going to hear about this for weeks. He raises a hand in a small, sheepish wave before climbing into the driver’s seat.
Derek shakes his head, laughing softly. “He’s gone,” he says, his voice carrying just enough awe to balance the humor. “Kid’s completely gone.”
Emily doesn’t need to ask what he means. Neither does Garcia. Because they’ve seen Spencer look at a thousand things with fascination—books, theories, puzzles, statistics. But this?
This is something else entirely.
The ride home is quiet, save for the occasional slurred apology from you. Spencer reassures you with the same soft patience each time, his hand steady on the wheel and his gaze flickering to you every so often, checking to make sure you’re okay. By the time he gets you home, your protests have faded, replaced by the heavy pull of exhaustion.
His arm remains firm around your waist, steadying you as he helps you inside, careful and methodical in the way he moves. He guides you to the bathroom, where you try to freshen up, fumbling with the faucet and splashing water on your face. Spencer steps in without hesitation and takes over when your movements falter. His touch is featherlight, but there’s no mistaking the care in every movement. The closeness makes your cheeks flush, though whether it’s from lingering embarrassment or something else entirely, you’re too tired to decipher.
“You don’t have to,” you murmur, your words sluggish but sincere.
“Of course I do,” he replies, his voice light but firm. “I want to.” 
He guides you to the bedroom with careful steps, his hand steady on the small of your back. Once there, he sets a glass of water on the nightstand, the gentle clink breaking the quiet.
“Drink,” he coaxes softly, his tone patient but firm.
You take the glass without protest, sipping obediently. Spencer watches, a small smile tugging at his lips. He considers making a playful comment about how quickly you’re drinking it now—so much easier than earlier—but he decides against it.
You’ve been through enough tonight, he thinks.
When he finally tucks you into bed, you’re too tired to resist. You mumble something incoherent, your hand brushing his as he leans in. Spencer pauses, his gaze lingering on your face—peaceful now, the traces of the evening’s mishaps melting away. He presses a light kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering for just a moment longer than necessary.
Spencer steps out of the room, leaving the door cracked just enough to hear you if you call out. He lingers in the hallway for a moment, his shoulders sagging slightly now that the night’s adrenaline has begun to wane. He glances down at his shoes—still damp and stained. With a resigned sigh, he makes his way to the kitchen, grabbing a plastic bag. He slips the shoes inside, tying the bag tightly before heading outside. The cold air bites at his skin as he steps toward the dumpster behind his building.
He stands there for a moment, holding the bag. The sight of the shoes, oddly enough, makes him smile. It’s ridiculous, he knows. They’re just shoes. Ruined, stained, completely unsalvageable. But they’re also a reminder of tonight—a reminder of how he’d taken care of you, how you’d let him take care of you. 
With a soft thud, the bag lands in the dumpster. Spencer dusts off his hands, turning back toward the building. When Spencer steps back into his apartment, the soft hum of the heater greets him, a gentle reminder of the warmth waiting inside. And there you are, standing in his shirt in the doorway of his bedroom. Spencer thinks it's a sight he'll never get tired of.
There's a pout tugging at your lips. “Where’d you go?” you ask, your voice thick with sleep and just a hint of a whine.
“Had to throw out the shoes angel,” he says as he steps into the kitchen to wash his hands.
Your gasp is exaggerated like he’s just committed an unspeakable betrayal. “I thought I told you I’d wash them!” you exclaim, your voice rising. 
“And I thought I tucked you into bed,” Spencer counters, his laugh soft and full of affection. “Why are you out of bed sweetheart?”
You shuffle closer, blinking up at him with drowsy eyes. “Missed you,” you say simply, your earlier outrage regarding the shoes already forgotten. “Wanna cuddle.”
Spencer’s expression softens, but he gestures to his clothes. “I’m dirty,” he reminds you gently, “Outside clothes, remember?”
“Change then,” you reply stubbornly, tugging at his sleeve as though that’s the simplest solution in the world.
“I need to shower first,” he says, his voice patient as he begins to guide you back toward the bedroom.
“I didn’t shower either,” you argue, leaning heavily into his side as though that somehow strengthens your case.
“Because you’re drunk,” he replies with a small smile.
“Am not,” you insist, though your tone is far from convincing.
“Wanna tell that to my shoes?” Spencer teases, raising a brow.
You ignore him, brushing past his comment with a huff. “You’ll take too long,” you complain, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “I’ll miss you.”
“And I’ll miss you too,” he replies, his voice tinged with amusement as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Then cuddle,” you plead, your tone slipping into that sing-song quality you know he can’t resist. “Pleaseee”
Spencer hesitates, the logical part of him warring with the sight of you—soft, vulnerable, and looking at him like he hung the stars. He knows you’re usually the enforcer of the outside-clothes rule, a stickler for order when sober. But right now, you’re anything but sober, and he can’t find it in himself to deny you.
“Pleaseee,” you say again, drawing out the word for emphasis, “I’ll buy you new shoes,” your eyes wide and imploring.
He knows you probably will.
“Enough about the shoes,” Spencer rolls his eyes fighting back a smirk, “Just help me change the sheets tomorrow,” he relents, his voice warm with affection.
He knows you probably won’t. But he lets you drag him toward the bed anyways.
You beam, looping your arms around his waist in triumph. “Knew you wouldn’t say no,” you mumble into his chest.
Spencer laughs softly as you settle against him, burying your face in his chest with a soft, muffled sigh. He feels his heart swell in a way he can’t quite put into words. He’s never been one for mess—for dirt, grime, or anything out of place. Heck, he hadn't even wanted to shake your hand the first time he met you. It’s in his nature to keep things neat, orderly, clean. But now, with you?
His shoes could be ruined, his clothes crumpled, and the night an absolute whirlwind. And still, all he can think about is how peaceful you look now, your eyelids fluttering shut as sleep starts to claim you.
Spencer presses a kiss to the top of your head, his hand moving in slow, soothing circles along your back.
For you and only you, he thinks, he’d make an exception every time.
⋆✴︎˚。⋆ hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!
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sarahroutldge · 1 day ago
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i love you, i'm sorry.
a/n: requested based on a prompt list - the dialogue prompt is in bold! gif not mine, all credits to the creator (also the title has nothing to do with the song, it was just stuck in my head lol)
pairing: jj maybank x reader
summary: you and jj maybank drunkenly hooked up a few nights ago, and neither of you know how to deal with that. (routledge!reader)
word count: 3k
warnings: fluff/humor, angst w/ a happy ending, implied sexual content, drinking, semi-proofread, I think that's it
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John Booker Routledge never thought he’d actually have to tell his best friend JJ Maybank that his little sister was off limits. Not once did it ever occur to him that JJ would ever think of you in a different way; he hardly liked to consider the idea that you dated anyone in the first place, let alone that you’d express any interest in the man he knew inside-and-out.
But things change and people get older. After you and the rest of the Pogues found El Dorado and began construction on Poguelandia, JJ started to see you differently. Sure, he always found you attractive, but JJ also found every woman he encountered attractive, so he never thought much of it. 
And you certainly didn’t ever think of JJ in that way either. At heart, you were a relationship girl; and while the fact that you were single was proof enough that no relationship of yours had worked out in the past, one of your greatest strengths was that you knew what you wanted. You didn’t seek out something casual because you knew you’d be left unfulfilled. You wanted something all-consuming and destined for marriage. Seeing your older brother grow and mature in his relationship with Sarah Cameron only clarified that further. In your mind, if the second-most relationship-allergic person you knew (after JJ of course) was able to dive headfirst into marriage with a girl so remarkably different from himself, then you decided you wouldn’t settle for any less.
Feelings, however, have a funny way of messing with plans and expectations. While JJ had essentially lived with you and your brother for years, building Poguelandia only pushed the two of you even further together. And watching someone so unpredictable and chaotic as JJ tame himself for the sake of his friends and his future stirred something in you that you hadn’t been expecting at all.
Over the months, your interactions with JJ changed, little by little, and for a while neither of you noticed. It just grew natural for JJ to fix something in the bait shop that you were fussing over, or for you to bring JJ a sandwich or a snack while he worked. You found little ways to make the other’s day brighter, even if subconsciously you never even considered why you were doing these little favors in the first place.
What actually brought the two of you together wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, however. One night, after a long day of work on the house, the Pogues found themselves hanging out above the bait shop, buzzed off of beers, seltzers, and a few joints made of flower grown right from Kiara’s secret spot in the garden. And while the rest of the Pogues eventually found their ways inside and to sleep, JJ and you probably drank a bit too much. One thing led to another, and that was the first night you hooked up. It was slow, passionate, and clumsy, and while the both of you would later blame it on the alcohol and the weed, deep inside you were both fully aware that it was simply the end result of months of pining.
And that’s how you found yourself waking up on the hammock above the bait shop in only one of JJ’s t-shirts and a pair of underwear. The combination of the blinding North Carolina sunrise along with John B.’s extremely loud footsteps on the floor below practically forced your eyes open. While you play the night before over in your head, trying to piece it all together, you’re scrambling to get the rest of your clothes on.
Running downstairs with your shoes untied, you let out a huge “oof” as you collide with your brother, almost sending the two of you to the ground. 
“Good morning to you, too, sis,” John B. says, his eyes expressing his confusion at the fact that you obviously slept upstairs last night.
“Oh, um, sorry, JB, I guess I just drank too much last night and crashed on the hammock,” you practically vomit out.
“Riiiiight,” John B. responds, clearly not convinced but nonetheless wholly uninterested in this situation in the first place. “Just, uh, go shower. You stink.”
Assuming John B.’s comment is a joke, you let out a laugh that immediately sounds forced. “Yeah, uh, that’s what I planned on.”
John B. shoots you a thumbs-up before making his way behind the counter, clearly prepping to open the bait shop for customers. Deciding to avoid any more awkwardness between the two of you, you begin to make your way back to the house. However, your brain can’t help but consider the possibility that only more awkwardness awaits you back in the house, which you’re really not ready to process. You spin around to face John B. at the entrance to the bait shop. “Hey, uh, is JJ up?”
John B. doesn’t even look up from whatever he’s doing at the counter, clearly focused on something else. “Yeah, he took his bike to the grocery store about ten minutes ago, I think.”
You breathe out a sigh of relief, and then turn back around to make your way into the house. Occupied with trying to wrack your brain about what exactly happened last night, you again stumble into someone else as you walk through the kitchen.
“Ow,” Sarah squeaks. 
You immediately apologize, looking her in the eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just, uh, didn’t sleep well last night,” you explain, hoping she’ll move out of the way so you can make your way to your bedroom upstairs.
But Sarah, unfortunately, has the attention to detail that your brother lacks. Looking you in the eyes, her brows furrow. “Did you sleep outside last night?”
You scratch your head. “Uh, yeah. Just, uh, crashed after all those drinks, you know?”
One thing that Sarah does share with your brother, however, is her unwillingness to let things go. Clearly noticing that something is on your mind, her eyes stare into yours, as if she thinks that she can figure out everything about you based on your facial expressions alone. And evidently, she can, because she then proceeds to whisper-yell, “Y/N, is that a hickey?”
She lightly taps a new bruise on your neck that JJ must have left last night, and you can feel your cheeks heat up at the action. You bat her hand away, and she smirks when she realizes what you must be hiding. 
“I don’t have time for this,” you blurt out, before maneuvering yourself around Sarah and walking over to the bottom of the stairs. 
“Whatever you say,” she taunts behind you, and you can practically hear her giggle as you make your way up the steps. 
Once you get to your bedroom, you lock the door behind you. Sliding down the wall, you let out a sigh, grateful that you met no more obstacles on the way upstairs. But as soon as your butt hits the ground, reality comes crashing down, and you realize that you have a much harder obstacle to deal with than running into one of your friends in the hallway. Instead, you have to deal with the fact that you slept with JJ Maybank—the man you’ve known practically your entire life who not only happens to be one of your closest friends, but even more than that, is your brother’s best friend. Yeah, you’re screwed.
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For the next few days, JJ avoided you at all costs. He didn’t want to face the consequences of what you’d done, and was worried more than anything that his friendship with you (and John B. for that matter) would be ruined. And while you had the same idea for a while, within only a few days you decided that talking about it was the only way to move forward. Knowing JJ’s extensive dating history, you were convinced that JJ would only tell you that it was a mistake and a regret. You prepared herself for the negative, and found him alone at night in the employees-only area above the tackle and bait shop.
You carefully tiptoe up the stairs to prevent JJ from getting spooked and immediately bailing on the conversation. When he notices your presence, he shoots up from where he was laying on the hammock, just like you had anticipated. “JJ, we need to talk—”
“Y/N—”
“No, please, JJ, just let me speak,” you clarify, before walking closer to him. 
Realizing he doesn’t have any other choice, JJ sighs, gesturing for her to continue.
Working up the nerves, you wring your hands, preparing yourself for a moment that seemed more daunting than any of the actually threatening experiences you’d had with the Pogues over the last few years. “You know me, Jayj. You know that I don’t have one-night stands or casual relationships. And I can’t go on like this, pretending like what happened between us is normal or that I can just ignore it. I know that you’ve probably never had feelings for me, but if I don’t tell you this now, I’ll regret it. I… I like you, JJ.” Taking a breath, you step back, feeling like a weight has been lifted off of your chest. Only now, you have to brace yourself for the inevitable rejection.
Looking into JJ’s eyes, you can’t tell what he’s thinking, and that’s nothing short of terrifying. You’ve known JJ since he was a kid, and he’s not the best liar, so you can usually tell what he’s feeling from the moment you see him. But this time, you’re clueless, and the silence is deafening.
“JJ, please say something. If you’re going to tell me you don’t like me back, then just say it so we can move on and put this behind us.”
He brings his hands to his face, trying to piece the words together. “Just, uh, gimme a minute.” You nod at him, before moving to sit where he’d previously sat on the hammock. You swing your knees up to your chest, hugging them in comfort. 
You watch as he paces the floor around you. It’s not long before he speaks, but it feels like hours as you wait. 
“Y/N, I… We’ve been friends forever. You, me, and John B. It was the three of us for the longest time and then Pope came and then Kiara and… Uh, I’m getting off track.” He starts fidgeting with the ring on his thumb as he looks down at the ground, preparing for what he’s about to say next. “I won’t lie—you’ve always been hot. Like super fucking hot. And I’m not good at relationships or whatever, but I… I like you, too.” 
And your ears can’t believe what they’re hearing, so your head immediately jerks up to meet his eyes. “Wait… you do?” 
He nods, and you can feel a smile beginning to form on your face. “Well, then, why didn’t you just say that?” you ask. 
“Because it doesn’t matter,” JJ answers, and your heart immediately sinks in your chest, once again. “I can’t do this to John B., Y/N. I just can’t.”
“Who cares about him? He’ll get over it. John B. is not my problem.” 
“That’s the point, Y/N! He’ll be there for you no matter what. But the Pogues are basically all I have left. You and John B. are my family, and if I mess shit up with you, I’ll lose you both. And I can’t do that to myself.”
“You won’t mess it up, J,” you reassure, though part of you understands what he’s getting at.
“When have I not messed something up? I mess shit up all the time, and you mean too much to me for me to risk it. You need to go and find someone out there better than me, because as much as it’ll hurt me to see you with someone else, it’d be a lot worse if you were in pain and I was the reason. It’s because I’m in love with you that I wish we’d never done what we did,” he blurts out. 
And while you were trying your best to listen to him carefully, all you heard was him telling you that he’s in love with you. “You… You love me?” you whisper, and JJ’s eyes go back to the floor.
“Of course I fucking do! How could I not? You’re gorgeous and funny and weird and you know me better than anyone else, and I’ll never forgive myself if I ruin shit with you. So just let me go, because this is the hardest thing I’ve had to do.”
As you process what JJ says, he rushes down the stairs. The heavy pattern of his boots hitting the wooden floors grabs your attention again, and you sprint downstairs to meet him before he can run away completely. You grab his hand and pull him towards you. When his head moves, you can see tears in his eyes, even as the sky gets darker. “It’s not okay to just leave me here after telling me you love me back,” you choke out.
“We can’t—we’ll never be together,” he bites back, trying to sound angry. But you can read right through him, and he knows it. You drop his arm and reach up to grab his face with your hands. Your thumb wipes away a stray tear.
“JJ, you’re right: I do know you better than anyone else. And yes, you’re not the best at relationships. But don’t you think that with us it could be different? That maybe because we know each other so well we can figure it out together?”
He begins to shake his head, but before he can get any more words out, you continue. “JJ, I know everything about you. I know the worst things you’ve done and the best things. You’re always calling me a know-it-all, and yet right now you don’t seem to believe me when I tell you that I know we can do this. We can do it, and it’ll be hard, but it’ll be worth it because I can’t picture myself loving anyone else the way I love you.” And as the tears stream down your cheeks, JJ inches a bit closer to you.
“You… You love me?”
“Of course I do, you idiot. How could I not? You’re the sweetest, kindest, funniest, bravest person I know and my life would be so unbelievably boring if you weren’t in it.”
His eyes look all over your face, trying to see if he can detect a lie. But all he sees is someone so convinced in their feelings, so articulate, and he can’t believe that it’s possible but he might just love you more than he did five minutes ago. 
“Let me deal with John B., okay? I get why you’re scared and I would never want to come between the two of you, but you deserve to be loved, JJ. And I want to be the one who gets to love you.” 
As soon as you get the words out, he’s pressing his lips to yours, and you’re so glad he reached out to hold your waist because otherwise you’d be falling to your knees. It’s magical and romantic and you can taste the salty years you’ve both shed. His right hand moves to grab the side of your face and pull you even closer somehow, before moving back down to your waist and squeezing you in anticipation. The two of you break away, panting. He grips you again and gestures for you to jump, which you do, and you wrap your legs around his back. He carries you over to the counter of the bait shop, where he sets you down. Your legs squeeze his, and he grabs ahold of your face with his hands. “Before we um… do anything else… Are you sure?”
You nod immediately. “Babe, I need the words.”
Your heart clenches at the term of affection, and you pull his shirt to bring him even closer to you. “I am absolutely, positively sure that I love you, JJ Maybank.” He grins so wide you start giggling.
He smashes his mouth back to yours, and this time the kiss is hotter and needier. It’s just a mess of clashing teeth, lips, and hands, with little “I love yous” whispered in between. 
JJ tugs on the bottom of your shirt, and you break away so that he can lift it off, throwing it somewhere else in the shop. His shirt follows, but before he can unclasp your bra, you push him back. “JJ, I’m not fucking you in the bait shop.”
“It’s dark out and no one’s gonna see—”
You jump down from the counter. “It’s either in the house or in the Twinkie. Your choice,” you challenge, and he rolls his eyes.
“Oh come on, people do it all the time,” he justifies, and you look at him like he’s grown two heads.
“What on earth are you talking about?” you ask.
“Hooking up in the bait shop, duh. I caught Pope and Cleo on top of the freezer once, and I’m pretty sure I saw Kiara making out with her ex-girlfriend behind the counter.”
You roll your eyes. “You are literally proving my point,” you say, and he scratches his head. 
“Well, I know for a fact that John B. and Sarah hooked up in the bait shop once and I didn’t see anything!” he explains.
“That’s not any better! You’re talking about my brother!” you whine, and JJ starts to see that you’re not budging. 
He lifts you up bridal-style into his arms, and you squeal. “Fine, my lady, my room it is.” 
You wrap your arms around his neck. “Have you cleaned it recently?” you ask, knowing how messy his room gets. 
“Uh… Like, maybe not super recently. But I can make it nice,” he offers.
You squint. “As nice as my room?”
“Yeah, let’s just go to yours,” he says, and you giggle at how easily he gives in. As he walks down the talk, carrying you in his arms, you can see a smirk grow on his face. “But after we’re done, it’ll be as dirty as mine.”
“JJ!”
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so... what did y'all think? I might consider making a part two where john b. finds out. is that something y'all would be interested in??
also... feedback is very much appreciated - pls comment, reblog, send asks, etc.!
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mynameismckenziemae · 2 days ago
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No Nut November
Part 1 (Part 2 here)
Jake Seresin x Female Reader/You x Bradley Bradshaw
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Summary: Bradley and Jake decide to partake in No Nut November…without consulting you first. You’re determined to make them cave.
Warnings: Adults (18+) only! MDNI! This work contains: adult language, dirty talk, teasing, talks of ass play/anal, oral (f receiving), a little spanking.
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“You wouldn’t last a week,” Jake chuckles as he leans forward over the green velvet pool table to shoot, “I’ve bunked with you for chrissakes.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bradley asks, resting his back against the wall.
The way his eyes heat when they flick to Jake’s jean-clad ass makes your stomach flutter as you drop off the round of beers.
There’s…something going on between them, but you never ask. Just like they know you’re hooking up with both of them, but neither ask you about that either.
“It means,” Jake straightens as he replies, “I’ve heard you rub one out. Like, every night.”
The image his words bring to mind nearly makes you drop the tray. Bradley lying there in the dark, hand shoved inside those boxer briefs, biting his lip to stay quiet as he hurriedly jerks off…
Bradley flushes but appears otherwise unbothered he takes the beer you offer. His eyes are on yours while he replies, “I’ve got a high sex drive.”
God, does he ever. Not once in the countless nights you’ve spent with him over the past year has he only gone one round. Usually, the next morning too, when you wake up to his hard cock pressing against your ass.
“And no self-control apparently,” Jake quips at your back, sliding his fingers down your arm as he reaches around to take one of the bottles.
Bradley rolls his eyes as he takes a long swig, holding the bottle out to you when he’s done. “Will you hold this while I wipe the floor with Bagman, sweetheart?”
“Hangman,” Jake corrects like he does every time.
Bradley winks as he hands you the bottle, knocking his shoulder into Jake’s after he takes the cue from him.
“So,” you say as you turn to watch, leaning back in the spot Bradley vacated before bringing his beer to your lips to steal a drink, “What were you two talking about?”
“No Nut November,” Jake replies, retesting beside you. “A couple of the boys are participating. Bradshaw thinks he could do it no problem.”
“What about you?” You look up day him, “Think you can go a full month without it?”
He licks his lips, taking a drink before meeting your gaze.
“30 days of without your hand,” your nails trail up his arm, goosebumps rising in their wake, “or mine.” He tenses when you lean in to whisper near his ear, “Without my mouth or pussy…”
“Fuck,” he breathes, turning his head. The green in his eyes is hardly visible from his lust-blown pupils. The low din of the bar fades away as he draws closer for a kiss.
“Your turn,” Bradley interrupts, causing you both to jump, “And you say I’m the one with no self-control?”
“Yeah,” Jake pushes off the wall, clearing his throat, “You’re the one who can’t wait to jerk off until his bunkie is asleep,” he turns to look at you with a haughty look, “and yes. I can go 30 days without.”
Your brow arches at the line he just drew.
Game on.
“Fuck off,” Bradley laughs, as Jake tugs the cue from his hand and lines up his shot. “Well instead of going to the bathroom 10 minutes later to do the same thing, you could’ve just said something.”
Jake doesn’t reply, but the way his body stiffens tells you what you need to know.
“That’s what I thought,” Bradley murmurs. His smirk turns to a frown when he takes his beer back that’s now only half full.
Penny catches your eye and back behind the bar you go.
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Even though you don’t hear the rest of the conversation, they both leave shortly after with a bullshit excuse about an early morning hop.
Like that’s ever stopped either of them before.
A few days go by with radio silence. Which is unusual despite the casual situationship you’re in with them both. At least you keep telling yourself it’s casual.
Both Jake and Bradley have made it abundantly clear that they want more from you, but you keep using the excuse that you’re not looking for anything serious right now.
But the truth is, you can’t choose between them.
And how could you? Bradley’s charming, funny, and easy-going nature puts you at ease. His cool confidence carries into the bedroom too, the way he coaxes orgasm after orgasm from your body with his dirty words, his talented tongue, his big hands, and bigger cock…
Then there’s Jake. Sure, he’s a cocky asshole, but that’s the thing you lov-like most about him. The way he teases, overstimulates, pushes your body to the limits, and makes you beg is addicting in itself. But in the quiet after, his well hidden sweet, vulnerable side is revealed with murmured praises and sweet kisses to your trembling skin as he wraps his body around yours.
You don’t reach out either and a full week goes by before you see either of them again.
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“Hey sweetheart,” the sound of Bradley’s voice from behind makes your heart flutter.
“Hey,” you turn, feigning nonchalance as you wipe down the bar, “Long time no see.”
I’ve missed you.
“Yeah,” he sighs, sitting on one of the stools, “it’s been crazy at work.”
“Oh,” you fill a glass with what’s on tap and set it down in front of him, “figured you were avoiding me.”
“Now why would I be avoiding you?” He smiles before he brings the bottle to his lips, eyes twinkling.
“You know why,” you lean over the bar, giving him a nice view of your pushed-up breasts down your shirt as you clean the wood in front of him, “You agreed to No Nut November, didn’t you?”
He’s licking the foam from his mustache, eyes locked on your chest when you straighten, “Huh?”
“You and Jake are doing No Nut November, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” he snaps out of it, giving you a sheepish look, “not the best idea in hindsight.”
“Not really,” you agree, brushing your fingers over his, “I’ve been lonely without you, Roo.”
He exhales shakily at that, giving you a heated look at the name you call him only in bed.
“And it’s only…” you look at the calendar, “November 10th.”
“I know,” he looks pained, “I’ll make it up to you, sweetheart, I swear.”
“Yeah, for a whole 30 seconds,” you say sarcastically, “can’t wait.”
“Really?” He deadpans, and you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing, “When have I ever gotten off before you did? The first time doesn’t count.”
That does make you laugh. He’d chased you for months and was excited, a little too excited the first time you finally let him in your pants. But he’d dropped to his knees after and definitely made up for being quick on the draw.
Just the thought of him looking up at you between your thighs with those honey-brown eyes nearly makes you whimper.
“You’re right,” you smile, “other than the first time, you’ve never gotten off before me.”
He smirks as he brings the glass up to his lips again.
“I suppose it’s not like I can’t get myself off either,” you sigh again, “it’s just not the same though. My fingers don’t fill me up the way you do.”
“Fuck sweetheart,” he sputters, “you can’t just say things like that.”
“But it’s true,” you shrug before leaning in to whisper, relishing in the way he tenses, “I ordered that bigger plug we talked about. It came in the mail yesterday.”
“Oh yeah?” He croaks, tilting his head to ghost his lips over your jaw.
He’s been obsessed with your ass since he first saw you. You brought up trying anal after he played with your ass during doggy and it’s something the two of you have been working towards.
“Yeah,” you sigh, “I wanted to try it out with you, but I don’t think I can wait that long. I need you, Roo. My fingers, toys…nothing compares to the way your cock feels.”
“Jesus,” he breathes, rising suddenly, “I-I gotta go.”
Your eyes drop and your mouth waters when he reaches for his wallet; his cock is straining against the tight denim.
“I’m sorry,” he grimaces as he throws a 20 on the bar before backing away, “I’ll call you, I promise.”
“Okay,” you shrug as if you couldn’t care less, but your heart races.
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Jake shows up 2 nights later and you barely spare him a glance.
This whole thing is his fault, after all.
He finds you doing inventory in the storage room when there’s a lull in service.
“You mad at me?” He asks, moving your hair aside to kiss the weak spot below your ear.
“No,” you try to keep your voice steady, “I love not hearing from or seeing you for over a week.”
Shit.
You cringe, kicking yourself for letting him see you vulnerable.
He pauses, but only for a moment. “I’m sorry, I’ve been busy with work.”
“Yeah,” you murmur, bending over suddenly to check the bottles of liquor on the lowest shelf, “Me too.”
The new position pushes your ass into Jake’s crotch and his hands instinctively reach for your hips.
“What are you doin’ honey?” He grits out, pulling you back to feel every hard inch of him, “‘sides playing with fire?”
His Texas twang comes out when he’s turned on but you suppress the shiver it brings.
“Inventory,” you reply, straightening to write the number down.
“I miss you,” he whispers, making your heart skip a beat, “and I don’t mean just this,” he finds the sweet spot on your neck again. “But I can’t seem to keep my hands,” his fingers dig into your hips as he ruts against your ass, “or my cock to myself when you’re around.”
“So don’t,” you murmur, turning your head to brush your lips over his, “Please Jake?”
I miss you too.
“I…can’t,” he sighs regretfully, squeezing your hips once more before taking a step back, “I’m sorry, darlin’.”
“Let me guess, you’ll make it up to me when November’s over?” Your eyes narrow as you face him, crossing your arms.
He cringes. “Well…yeah.”
You sigh. “Not sure if I’ll even need you anymore, I’m getting pretty used to my vibrator.”
He backs you up against the shelving and cages you in with his arms. “Does your toy fill you up the way I can?” He emphasizes his question with a roll of his hips. “Does it make you cum over and over until you’re trembling and tears fill your pretty eyes? Do you have to beg? Say ‘please’ for it to stop?”
“No,” your answer is soft and breathy. His eyes dip to your lips as you lean in, “but it doesn’t neglect me for a month over a stupid competition either.”
You duck under his arm and try not to laugh at his heavy sigh as you walk away.
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Another week goes by. Bradley calls once and they each text randomly but keep things PG, not taking the bait when you send suggestive ones back either. Or send dirty pictures. Jake just sent you a 🖕🏻 in response to the picture of your hand down the front of your panties and Bradley left you on read when you sent him a photo of your lace-clad bottom, holding the new plug.
No Nut November is more than halfway over but you’re completely over it.
While the night before Thanksgiving is one of the busiest of the year, you took off to finish preparing for the holiday. You’re hosting the Daggers who aren’t going home or don’t have anyone to go home to.
Everything is good to go a little after 9. With a sigh, you begin to pull the apron over your head but pause with an idea.
Wearing nothing but the apron, you take a picture of your reflection; nipples just visible and your hand running up your inner thigh.
You: Everything’s ready for tomorrow. Wanna come over for a taste test?
Next, you turn around, capturing your bare ass and an innocent look.
You: Too bad the turkey is the only thing getting stuffed tonight.
With a sigh you hop in the shower, not realizing you sent the pictures to them both.
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There’s a knock at the front door as you flick off the water.
“Just a second!” You call, wrapping your towel around you tightly.
“It’s Jake,” he calls back, muffled.
“Come in,” you reply. He knows where the spare is, but still knocks out of respect. “I’m just getting out of the shower.”
“What’s up?” You ask as you come out of the bathroom, the pictures already forgotten.
Jake’s leaning against the wall across, waiting.
“I’m here for that taste test,” he hungrily looks over your bare legs as he pushes off the wall.
“What about the bet?” Your breath catches as he weaves his hands into your hair.
“It’s still on,” he answers before capturing your lips in a dizzying kiss.
“But…” you start when he pulls off your lips to find your neck instead, “What are-“
“I’ll take a cold shower after,” he murmurs against the sensitive skin, making you shiver. “I can’t spend another night without yo-making you feel good.”
Your heart stutters at his Freudian slip.
“Okay,” you whisper, leaning back in. Your legs wrap around his waist when he grabs your bare ass and lifts, carrying you into your room before laying you down on the bed, your phone digging into your back.
He rips the towel open as you reach for the phone, tossing it aside without a glance…or noticing that you hit the call button.
“Oh Jake,” you moan loudly, drowning out the sound of Bradley picking up when he doesn’t hesitate to devour you like the starved man he is. Your hands find his hair as he tongues your cunt and tug when he hones in on your clit.
“I’ve missed this sweet pussy,” he sounds as wrecked as you feel as he brings his hand up, pushing two fingers inside you, his hips slowly rutting against the bed, “dreamed about it every fucking night and woke up hard and wanting you every morning.”
“Y-oh,” a needy whine escapes as he curls his fingers against your g-spot, “you poor thing.”
He pulls his fingers out to slap your clit, making you gasp, clenching around nothing. “Don’t be a brat.”
“You could’ve had me,” your fingers tighten in his hair before pulling him back in, “this was your idea.”
Your eyes fall closed and he groans when he puts his mouth on you again. “Stupid fuckin’ idea.”
“Uh-huh,” you agree, panting. “You’re never doing it again. I won’t allow it.”
“What about Roo?”
Your eyes fly open to see him smirking. “W-what about him?”
“Is he allowed to do it again?” He licks a long, slow stripe through your arousal as he waits for your answer.
You swallow thickly, before slowly shaking your head. “Nope.”
He arches his brow but doesn’t reply, instead doubling his efforts. You release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding when his tongue slides up to your clit, circling while he pushes his fingers back inside you.
“Yeah,” you whine, tugging his hair and grinding against his face, “that’s-that’s good. Just like that, Jake. Keep going, I’m close.”
Jake just moans as you use him. His hips rutting harder but his mouth and fingers keep the same, sweet rhythm until you’re teetering on the edge of release.
But then he gently sucks your clit into his mouth and that’s all it takes to push you over. Your hands pull his hair as your back arches, legs wrapping around his head as you ride out the waves of pleasure.
A low, guttural groan is ripped from his throat as you writhe against him, the sight, the taste and the sounds of your release proving to be too much.
“Fuck,” he pants, resting his head on your trembling thigh with a grimace, “I just lost.”
“You lo-what?” The ability to think straight left when the first brush of his tongue.
“I just came in my fuckin’ pants,” he sighs, his arms shaking as he lifts himself to his knees. Your eyes drop to the wet spot staining his jeans, “I lost.”
A breathy laugh escapes as your toes run over his still semi-hard cock, “Sorry?”
“No you’re not,” he sighs, his eyes darkening, “but you will be.”
The air is pushed from your lungs as he flips you onto your stomach, slapping your ass so hard tears spring to your eyes.
“Hey!” You scrabble to get away from the assault but his hand between your shoulders pushes you back down, “It’s not my fault! I didn’t even touch you!”
“You didn’t,” he agrees, slapping the other ass cheek equally as hard, “but you did tease me at the bar, and send me dirty pictures and-“
“I won’t tell Roo if you won’t!” You rush out when his hand leaves your ass presumably to spank you again.
“It’s a little late for that.”
Both of your heads whip toward your bedroom door where Bradley’s standing, clad in that gaudy Hawaiian print he wears so well, his erection obvious against the confines of the tight-as-sin jeans.
He also knows where your spare is.
His eyes rake over your naked body, smirking as he holds his phone up for the both of you to see. The color leaves your face as you see your name reflected on the screen.
He’s been listening the whole time.
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A/N: Hope you enjoyed part 1! Part 2 should be along in the next few days. Spoiler: the turkey is NOT the only thing getting stuffed 😉
Tagging a few I think may be interested:
@callsigns-haze
@writtingrose
@blindedbythelightt
@phoenix-rising-starbird-one
@dizzybee03
@shanimallina87
@lexixstewart
@hookslove1592
@jessicab1991
@livzblog
@carolina-on-my-mind03
@racerchix21
@that-one-fangirl69
@mrsbradshaw-seresin01
@sydneejean
@xoxabs88xox
@midnightmagpiemama
@its-the-pilot
@kmc1989
@psuedochakra
@fandomology101
@kneelforloki
@djs8891
@mavrellover91
@hotch-meeeeeuppppp
@seitmai
@emerald-jade1
@alwayshave-faith
@thespillingvoid
@glenpowellluver
@lunatygerqueen
@bigstrongpowellheart
@ahotmesswithprivilege
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k0mmari · 3 days ago
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Okay people, I need to talk about IDOL!Shen Yuan AU before I explode (aka slight Aggretsuko inspired office au…..)
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I’ll try to make this short for once jdvfhbjdhbvdf, but basically SY has been (forcefully) made to work for his brother(SJ) in the family company, after SJ decided enough was enough, and SY was going to do something with his life besides rotting away in his bed whether he liked it or not. The thing is, he wasn’t (just) rotting in bed reading atrocious novels, but he also took some time to experiment with music as a hobby, and over time, he grew a small following.
Though, after he was dragged to work at SJ’s side, the ever boring of dealing with paperwork and staring at white walls was eating at him. It’s not like he struggled doing his job, in fact, he was quite good at it, but he wasted no effort to make it very clear that he did not like that he was there in the first place. So, in an act of rebellion and to just do SOMETHING other than feel every passing second of the day in a cubicle, he decided to work even harder in his music hobby. It eventually led to SJ finding out and sparing no words to say that SY needed to focus on his real job, which only made SY brat out even harder, even managing to find an alternative music club and booking a few performances.
It went great! More people showed up than he expected, and all went great, but since his health was still not the best, after that he basically spent a whole month crashed out, not being able to do any more performances and barely able to go to the office once a week.
Anyways, it all led to SY thinking he had proved SJ right that he couldn’t continue this life style, and even thinking about quitting it, but one day while he was scrolling on the comments on one of his MVs (aka a Fancy Lyric Video), one of the comments mentioned that SY was one of the most important influences for that person, and that it inspired them to start pursuing music. It was the first time he had received a comment of that nature, and it lit the fire of his motivation back up.
Some 2 years passed, SJ still kept SY at the office, but SY had reached a nice balance on his online music work and performances on that club, and as his popularity grew, his performances at that one club had almost turned into a whole event for his most dedicated fans. So, enter Luo Binghe:
He was that comment that SY had read, and he did want to try music after being a fan of SY’s for almost three years now, but due to his financial situation he desperately needed some other source of income first. Now, at his last year of college, he managed to get an internship onto the Shen family’s company, which was a huge step forward towards his dreams, unfortunately he just had to go under SJ, which as we all know, was never kind to Binghe, instead acting as if the boy should just give up the internship entirely. And Binghe did think about it, but it seemed as if the stars had aligned for Binghe at least once, and SJ, after getting a sudden influx of work, delegated Binghe to SY.
They got on quite well, and Binghe even grew to have a little crush on SY, but it was all going fine and great until one fateful day. The office was as boring as ever, and after SY let Binghe know they wouldn’t have to entertain any clients for the day, Binghe decided to work on his part while listening to some music of his favorite artist.
Binghe has an awful habit of listening to music worryingly loud, so when SY went to get him to explain his new task, he ended up listening to what Binghe was hearing: his own music, in fact, his newest song. He pondered telling Binghe about the coincidence, but decided that maybe would be overstepping some professional boundary, and instead told Binghe about his one music club SY had heard about…
Binghe, excited to get to know more places around the area (and maybe understanding what SY did in his free time), decided to go to the club the next week after work, and did not even think about checking who would be performing in the day he would visit. Imagine his surprise when he gets to the door of the music club and hears some awfully famíliar music, and after rushing to be as close to the stage as possible, besides being blinded by his favorite artist’s greatness, also noticed that, hey, the artist looked an awful lot like a certain coworker of his….
Anyways, shenanigans ensue, Binghe starts his own investigation on SY possibly being the artist, SY juggling his office life, music career, and SJ perhaps coming to accept his brother’s career, and even maybe revealing a bit about his own past with music performances.
That’s all I had for today, just wanted to release this into the world! If anyone wants to expand on this, or try their on take on it, feel more than free to! Here are some more doodles of the usual day at the office :)
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onlinedolly · 19 hours ago
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SAVIOR COMPLEX
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au where leon is a normal cop at raccoon city and you’re a pretty little thing he’s obsessed with ^___^
cw: stalking, kidnapping, drug use, dubcon, dry humping (?), hard language, dead dove do not eat, i think that’s it!
not proof read cuz i’m lazy lol
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Leon, in his mind, was a good man.
He’d done a lot in his career, saved countless lives; so when he sees you he thinks it’s no different, not really. You were a young thing, pretty and too naive for your own good. Didn’t you know the world now? How cruel it could be? It made Leon sick to think about it, he’d only seen you once — pretty and smiling and all he could think was how the world was going to fuck you up eventually.
He began watching you then, like a good man does. Following you to your small apartment complex (on a side of town that put a sour taste in his mouth) every night, watching you from your window until you fell asleep, it was all precautionary really, he told himself. Had to make sure you were safe. That nothing bad would ever happen.
It’d been this way for a few weeks, maybe around a month or so until he witnessed the incident that really made his blood boil over. A man, taller and creepy, had been following you around the store for a while now, looking for his way in. Leon definitely couldn’t interject, not now, not when you didn’t know him, bound to just make the situation worse. So he watched, clenching the cart he had in his hand so tightly his knuckles turned white.
He almost interjected when he saw the man put his hand on your waist, watching as you cowered away as he grabbed something for you on a higher self. You poor, sweet thing, so naive and stupid. Leon decided then he had to do whatever it would take to help you. That’s what it was really, helping.
Leon was a good man.
-
It was harder than he originally thought taking you, you had a lively group of friends and supportive parents he would no doubt have to figure his way around. But, oh how the heavens must of listened to his prayers when he’d seen you (followed you for more than two hours) stumbling out of a bar drunk and alone.
It was divine timing really, Leon thought to himself. You were stumbling around to a back alley, fiddling with your phone in an attempt to order a ride share to pick you up, no doubt. How stupid were you really, Leon thought. Drunk and alone and ordering a car from a stranger to make sure you got home safe? You really truly knew no better, huh? What if you got hurt, kidnapped, assaulted?
Leon made it his mission all those weeks ago to protect you, help you at any cost, so when he sneaks up behind you placing the rag over your mouth until your body goes limp he’s simply doing it out of protection, out of love.
When he drags your limp body into his car, making sure no one saw, all he can think is how much better off you were in his arms. He was a cop after all, right?
Leon was a good man, he truly honestly believed that.
-
“You’re home now,” He’d explained when you came to in Leon’s apartment. You were scared, huddled in the corner of your pretty pink room ( which Leon had spent a lot of time on in decorating), and Leon really was trying his best to make you comfortable.
He sauntered over to you, and you couldn’t help but notice how he looked like he was a predator stalking his prey, leaning down and reaching his hand out to you in a kind gesture you hadn’t expected, “Let’s talk on the bed, why don’t we baby?” He spoke softly, kindly.
You were still frightened as hell, way too frightened to resist him, so with shaky fingers and sweaty palms you grasped his much bigger one and let him help you up. Leon moved you two to the bed, it was soft and had a pink floral bedspread, and sat closer to you than you wanted.
You had some strength, and you were confused and nervous, “Why?” stumbled out of your lips, hoarse and soft.
Leon nodded his head, “I knew you’d ask that, that’s okay—“ He leans up, brushes some hair off your forehead causing you to flinch, “— I wouldn’t expect you to understand at first, any how.” He spoke like he knew you, how long had he been watching you? Days? Months?
“I saved you.” He spoke matter of factly, it sent a chill down your spine. Saved you? From what?
“I-I don’t need saving,” You found courage to speak, still soft, still so hoarse, “I think you have the wrong p-person I-“
Leon’s jaw clinched as you cut yourself off. Of course you did, Leon’s not fucking stupid. Are you really so goddamn dumb to not realize how scary the world is? What it can do to sweet little things like you? But no, of course you didn’t know that, how could he expect you to? He pushed the rising anger down, Leon was a good man and really only got angry sometimes and he was going to control it if it meant making you like him. Getting you to love him.
“Pretty thing,” He spoke, moving closer to you so your knees knocked together, “I don’t expect you to understand.”
-
Despite everything, you just weren’t seeming to adjust to your new surroundings. Leon had saved you a little over a week ago, and despite trying to make you as comfortable as possible you still just seemed to want to leave.
After your first conversation Leon tried and tried to interact with you, form a relationship with you. He brought you three meals a day, each time watching you struggle to find a new way to escape. First it was the sealed window, the lock picking of the dead bolted doors, even trying to attack him like Leon can’t over power you in seconds. He couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t get you comfortable here.
Why couldn’t you see everything he was doing was for you? You can’t escape, not when the world is just going to eventually eat you up and leave you as broken as him. He was doing the right thing, keeping you here, why couldn’t you see that?
After another week of escape attempts and dry conversations over take out he had gotten you, you finally let up a bit. More open, more willing, the conversation was still dry but at least you weren’t trying to escape anymore.
“Sweet girl,” He spoke kindly,like he always did, as he entered with a tray of food. “I brought your food.” He entered the room, locking the various locks behind him as he sat on your bed. Leon had been nothing but kind in the past two weeks you’ve been here. It made you confused how someone who could so viciously take you was so kind hearted. You walked over to the bed, inspecting the food.
“You didn’t put anything in it, did you?” You asked, just like you always asked.
“Would that make you easier to manage, pretty thing?” He joked. It wasn’t funny, instead it made you feel sick how he could even joke about a topic like that. “No,” He reassured after seeing your fast twist up, “I didn’t put anything in it.” He leaned down, taking a bite of the food to show you it wasn’t contaminated, and only then did you feel safe enough to bring the fork to your lips.
Leon watched you eat for a few moments before speaking, “I was working today—“ He loved these stories, you thought, the ones that make the world seem bad. “— And we got a call. A guy shot his girlfriend. Can you believe that?” He moved to place his palm on your head, smiling at you bright and kind, “Thank god you’re here, right? Not with a sick bastard that could hurt you.”
You could almost laugh, did he not see who he was? A sick bastard in his own right, twisted and fucked up, just kind about it. You simply nodded, it was easier to give in, easier to please him. “Right.” You spoke softly.
-
It was another two weeks and you, embarrassingly so, had gotten more comfortable here. Sleep came more easy to you and Leon was slowly becoming a more comforting presence in your life.
He brought you food, just like always, telling you about his latest work story as you sipped your water. Unfortunately, the stories were starting to scare you, make your hair stand on end as he tells you about a man who murdered his family.
“Make sure to drink it all,” Leon dotes on you, tapping your glass with a big finger, “Need my pretty girl hydrated, hm?” You nod sweetly, just like you’ve been doing the past couple weeks and drink it all in three big gulps.
And okay, Leon was a good man!!! But he wasn’t always honest. He hadn’t been feeding you drugs, but that didn’t mean you weren’t taking them. He’d put them in your drink, mix them up until they were dissolved and make sure you drink it all. It wasn’t anything bad, what he gave you just made you a little sleepy and maybe a little more pliable to what he wanted from you. It didn’t hurt and he wouldn’t keep you out his stuff forever, just until you were ready to be weened off. When you were ready to love him back sober.
When your meal was done and he could tell you were feeling hazy, he leaned down like he always did and placed a soft kiss to your forehead mumbling what a good job you did for him. And you couldn’t help but admit how it made you feel, giddy and comforted.
Leon really wasn’t an awful guy, you caught yourself thinking as he exited the room. He fed you sufficiently, gave you the best clothes and softest towels to shower with, and he really wasn’t that terrible of company. Another 10 or so minutes passed and you were exhausted, falling into a slumber full of Leon.
-
You’d been here two months now, Leon kept you more drugged up than sober these days, but it made you so kind and needy. That’s right he said needy. A couple weeks ago your demeanor began to change, excitement filling you when he’d enter the room, telling him how much you’d missed him while away. He could get used to this.
He’d come to visit you before bed, you were in a pink pretty night gown with your hair in two messy braids when he’d came into the room.
“Leon,” You smiled softly at him, big doe eyes focused on the man by the door way.
“Hi sweetheart,” He spoke, locking the door and walking over to your bed to sit next to you, “Have a fun day, hm?” He pet your hair, giddy in the way that you lean into it.
“Had a good day, watched movies.” Ah yeah, Leon had gotten you a small box tv and some dvds from a resale shop, he was glad you were enjoying those.
“Good, good girl,” He spoke, not missing the way you purred hazily at the nickname, “Little girls deserve to have fun, yeah?”
You nodded at him happily, leaning more into his touch. You’d been such a good girl these past couple weeks, he pressed a kiss to your cheek and he felt how warm you got underneath his touch.
You were so affectionate tonight, would he test the waters more? See what else he could get away with?
“Baby, could we do something different tonight?”
“Different…how?” You spoke softly, flinching a little out of fear. Ah, he expected that to still be there. The thought of something new in this situation was bound to be scary.
“You’ll enjoy yourself angel,” He promised, pressing another sweet kiss to your cheek. He moved so he was laid on the bed next to you, sitting up with his head against the headboard. “Why don’t you give me a kiss first, hm?”
Leon had gotten you to kiss him a couple days prior, you’d been so nervous and fumbling when he’d held your head with his big hands explaining that he deserved a kiss for everything he’d done for you. He was too mean to be the one to kiss you first, waiting for you to stand on you tippy toes and place your lips against his. After a few minutes he’d grown impatient until you did just that, a small peck and turned into a heated session that had you panting into his mouth.
And now you loved kissing him, all hazy and dumb as you would beg him for goodbye kisses everytime he left you. So asking you for a kiss now was nothing out of the ordinary, and it wasnt out of the ordinary for you to climb into his lap and kiss him sloppily and sweet just like you were doing now.
And Leon *loved* it, the patience, the drugging, the kind sweet words was all worth it to lead to moments like this. With you licking at his bottom lip messily until he opened up to shove his tongue down your throat.
He was so happy it wasn’t some punk ass guy doing this to you, a man you didn’t deserve. It had to be him, he was everything you needed. He tested the waters, moving his hands to grip at your waist, he felt you jump beneath him, flinching at the new action. He pulled away smiling at you kindly,
“I told you something new, baby. You gotta trust me,” He gripped your hips tighter, feeling how you shook under him. It was exhilarating having you like this, inexperienced and scared under his touch.
“L-Leon,” You stuttered out, readjusting in his hold, making him groan out softly.
“Be patient, sweet thing.” He demanded, moving you around his lap, releasing another low groan from him.
You could feel something hard under you, hard and big. You gasp, trying to lift yourself off of him and he pushes you back down. “We’re gunna have s’much fun together, ain’t we sweet thing?” He slurred out until he found a good position for you to be in. Leaning his head against the headboard. “Gunna move your hips yeah? Be real weird at first, ‘kay baby? But I’ll make you feel real good sweet girl.” He spoke, leaning up to kiss the shell of your ear.
You’d gotten to the point where it was hard to refuse him, out of fear? Maybe. Or maybe it was something more. So you just nod eagerly, overwhelmed tears filling up your eyes as you wait for his instruction or his motion.
He begins rocking your hips against what you assume is his cock, you gasp softly, the feeling new and foreign to you.
Leon lets out a deep groan, he was loving this. He couldn’t believe he was here with you like this, rocking against his cock. He grips your hips harder, picking up the pace as your clothes cunt rubs against his cock. “God, aren’t you glad I took you, hm?” He’s rambling as you gasp and whine and cry under his hold, “If you’d done this with anyone else baby, I would’ve had to kill them, yeah? Aren’t you glad I rescued you.”
“Y-yeah,” You whine out, over come with this new feeling. The only things separating your cunt and his hard cock was your think panties and his rough pajama pants that rubbed deliciously against your pussy. You’re crying, overwhelmed by the feeling, lashes wet and tears dripping onto Leon’s cheeks (not that he gave a fuck), you move your hands up, shakily wiping the wet from his face as he moves you all at a fast pace.
“Enjoying yourself little girl? Yeah?”
“Uh-huh,” You hiccup, hazy and high, “T-thank you..” You whisper out.
“Dirty thing,” He groans out, moving you faster against his cock. He could only imagine what it’d be like to finally sink himself inside of you. He knows for a fact how wet you’d be, how he’d have to work you on his fingers before you take his big dick. The thought could make him cum in his pants.
“L-Leon I feel funny I…” You trail off, gripping his shirt in your smaller hands. He was so muscular it was almost breath taking.
“Yeah sweet girl I bet you do,” He laughed softly, trailing one of his hands down to press against your panty clad clit. You yelped softly, letting out multiple soft moans at the new sensation.
Your body was on fire, lit from the inside out as you gave up and indulged yourself in this new feeling. Your cunt was soaked leaving a dark stain on Leon’s pajamas as he roughly rocked you back and forth.
“God, fuck you’re such a good girl,” Leon grunts out, he was close, with the dry humping and the thoughts of fucking your sloppy cunt until you couldn’t think no more, he was ready to fucking explode. after a few more minutes he’s soaking himself, his pajamas a dark stained mess as he cums all over himself and your pretty panties. He makes a noise that’s almost like a growl as he grips your hip in a bruising hold.
You yelp out at the pain as he is circling your clit in a rough fast pace, you felt like you had to pee, the build up inside of you getting stronger and stronger as he mumbles sweet praises and tells you how he saved you over and over again, rubbing your clit in fast circles.
Finally the coil inside of you snaps as you yell out, a sobbing mess as you twitch and convulse and rut yourself against his big hand. Leon could cum again almost looking at you fuck your wet cunt against his hand.
You were overwhelmed but you couldn’t stop, you were shaking and sobbing at this point as you fuck yourself fast and hard against his hand.
“Baby let’s stop, yeah?” He spoke, pressing his hands on your tummy and back and slowing you to a stop, kissing you on your cheek as he stares at your blissed out face.
Leon Kennedy was a good man, Leon was your savior.
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evansbuck-ley · 2 days ago
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Buck still doesn’t really know what happened next. He would ask himself for months to come. But all he knew was that one minute the helicopter was in the air and the next it was rapidly falling to the floor, taking Tommy with it. His heart jumped up into his mouth. He could feel someone grip onto his shoulder, hear someone shouting his name but he couldn’t respond. In that moment he felt like his mind and his body were separated, suspended in a state of fear and panic.
“Mayday mayday! Helicopter down. I repeat, helicopter down!” Bobby’s voice brought him back to reality. Buck scrambled for his own radio, not caring if the whole department was about to hear him.
“Firefighter Buckley to Firefighter Kinard, do you copy?” No response. He could feel the tension in the air, everyone stood around waiting with baited breath.
“Come in Firefighter Kinard. Do you copy?” His voice was trembling, his hands were shaking violently as he tried to hold back every single emotion he was feeling in that moment.
“Tommy, please…” He begs once more down the radio. They waited for a few more moments before the sound of groaning came over the radio.
“Evan…” Tommy’s broken voice came through. Buck could feel himself exhale, he really wasn’t sure when he stopped breathing.
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therealcocoshady · 2 days ago
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Hii
I lost my puppy recently, can you please write one where the reader is a bit depressed and Marshall gives her a puppy?
A/N : Hi Anon ! I’m so sorry about you losing your puppy ! I’m sending you tons of love 💕. I wrote a little something and I hope you like it !
Finding purpose 🐶
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« I dont know, » you’d said in that monotone voice of yours. « I just feel like… there’s no purpose. I have no purpose ».
After weeks of beating around the bush, Marshall had finally confronted you, and your answer broke his heart. You were the most vibrant person he had ever met, so full of life and laughter. But in the past few months, he had seen you decaying. Your laugh, once his favorite sound, seemed like a distant memory and he couldn’t tell the last time he’d seen you actually smile, no matter how hard he tried. You had become withdrawn, distant. Sometimes, he would at you and he could see stare into the abyss, as if your mind was miles away. But every time he would ask what’s on your mind, you would shrug it off.
His first instinct was to blame himself. Maybe he’d taken you for granted. It wouldn’t be the first time after all. He was never really good at keeping his longtime girlfriends entertained, his workaholic nature often taking over. But his best efforts to win you over with impromptu date nights and presents seemed to be in vain. Then, he tried asking your friends, but no one seemed to know what was going on. As far as they knew, nothing had happened. You were doing ok at work. Your family was fine. And as far as they knew, you didn’t have beef with anyone. So it was kind of a mystery. But still, the facts were there : you kept on withdrawing, keeping people at a distance. You were once the life of the party, but you barely went out anymore. Even keeping up with your text messages proved to be difficult. Yet, everyone was getting increasingly worried. They could see the dim smiles, the dark circles, the weight fluctuation… They all tried to be subtle about it, not wanting to be insensitive or too harsh. Until Marshall decided enough was enough.
You had ghosted him for three days. No phone, no text. Nothing. When he showed up at your place, he was immediately taken aback by your gaunt face and hollow eyes. You weren’t alright and he was done being subtle about it. You were curled up on the couch, arms wrapped around your knees. You looked up as he let himself in, your eyes dull and tired. « Thank God I have your spare key » he sighed. « Otherwise, I would have called the cops to report you were missing ». You looked down, mumbling an apology. « We gotta talk » he declared in a voice that was a little sharper than he intended. You turned your head back to him, hough your eyes remained dull and distant. « About what? » you asked. He sighed and sat in the chair across you. « About you » he said. « About whatever’s been eating you alive for the past weeks. I’m tired of pretending like everything’s fine. You think I don’t notice ? You think I don’t see how different you’re acting ? »
Your jaw tightened and you looked away. « I’m fine, Marshall » you mumbled, though even you could tell how unconvincing you sounded. « Stop! » he snapped, his frustration evident. « You’re not fine. You’ve barely said more than five words to me in a day for the past three weeks! You don’t sleep. You don’t eat. You don’t smile. And I’m sick and tired of pretending like everything’s ok when it’s clearly not ». His voice was getting louder and louder, his tone sharp and cutthroat. You couldn’t help the tears from welling in your eyes and, for a second, you were pretty sure you were going to lash out at him. But instead, your face crumpled and you let out a shaky breath. « I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Marshall » you whispered, your voice cracking. « I don’t know. I just feel like… There’s no purpose. I have no purpose. Like nothing I do matters. I wake up, and I don’t see the point of getting up. No purpose ».
Your words hit him like a punch to the gut. He stood up and crossed the room in a few quick strides, taking a seat on the couch, right next to you. You tried to turn away but he gently grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. « Listen to me » he said, his voice low but steady. « You do have a purpose. You do matter. You matter to me. I don’t care what’s gong on in that beautiful head of yours, I’m not letting you drown in it. We’ll figure this out together. But you need to let me in and tell me how you’re feeling, babe ». You nodded, letting your tears spill over. « I don’t even know where to start » you quietly sobbed.
He pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. For the first time in weeks, you allowed yourself to anger in his embrace, instead of pushing him away after a couple of seconds. He held you against his chest, gently stroking your hair as you sobbed, letting out the storm that had been going on inside your mind, that was too much for you to put into words. You stayed like this for what felt like hours, Marshall never letting go of you, whispering sweet words of reassurance. « We just start here, Y/N. You and me. You’re not alone. I’m here. ». Eventually, exhaustion took over and you fell asleep, your head resting against his chest, your breath uneven but steady. But Marshall couldn’t follow suit. Your words kept on echoing in his mind. The way you said you don’t see the point of getting up, that you had no purpose… You had said it with such emptiness, like the thought had been carved into your very soul. He could see the pain, the suffering in your eyes. He could hear it in your voice. And he wished he could take it away, suffer in your place. All he wanted was to make you happy. You were the love of his life, a beautiful soul, and you deserved nothing but happiness. And he couldn’t sleep until he found a way to give it to you. Sadly, words wouldn’t do. He needed something more. Something real, tangible. Something that would bring back the light in your eyes.
And then, like a lightbulb flickering in the darkness, he had an idea.
The next day, your boyfriend found himself standing in the middle of an animal shelter. To say he was feeling out of his element would be the understatement of the year. He’d had a few pets in his day, but he had sworn off them a long time ago, arguing that they required too much work, too much energy. But maybe it was exactly what you needed. Something that would require work and energy, that would give you a reason to get out of bed. The sound of barking and meowing filled the air as he walked past rows pf cages. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking for, but he knew he’d recognize it when he saw it. And he did. There was a small dog waddling inside one of the kennels, its stubbly legs moving unevenly. He had a misshapen ear that flopped to one side, a patchy coat that looked like it has seen better days and a back leg that didn’t quite work right. It wasn’t conventionally cute but it had the kind of charm that he knew would tug at your heart. He’d seen you at the market, picking up bruised apples and misshapen tomatoes, sad that nobody else would want them. He saw you pour your heart not the smallest things, believing they deserved love too. Hell, you had taken him in, of all people. That had to be the ultimate sign you didn’t mind things - or people - being a little broken.
He pointed the dog to the staff member that was with him. « That’s Ralph. This little guy came in a few months ago » she explained. « He’s got some mobility issues and… well, he’s not the first one people ask about but he’s a good one. Loves cuddles and, despite the leg thing, walks, too ». Marshall crouched down, holding his hand out. Ralph sniffed it tentatively, then licked his fingers before flopping over on its side, demanding belly rubs. Marshall laughed and indulged him. He could already picture you with him. « This is the one » he said with a smile.
When he got to your place, Ralph waddled awkwardly behind him, its tiny legs working double-time to keep up. He’d picked up a few essentials - a bed, food, a leash, a couple of toys - but he knew the dog wouldn’t need much to win you over. You were in the living room, curled up on the couch with a blanket around your shoulders. You looked up as Marshall walked in, your eyes tired but curious. « What’s going on? » you asked, your voice soft. Instead of answering, your boyfriend stepped aside, revealing the little dog, who waddled into view, its mismatched body moving with clumsy determination. You let out a gasp, sitting up straight as the dog barked once, a cheerful and awkward sound that definitely matched his appearance. « Marshall…? What…? » you whispered, hands flying to your mouth.
« I heard what you said, » he told you, his voice steady but gentle. « About not having a reason to get up in the morning. And I figured maybe this little guy could help with that. » He gestured to Ralph, who was now sniffing the corner of the coffee table. « He’s not perfect. He’s got a bum leg and kind of a funky look, but… I thought maybe you’d see him the way you see those lopsided peaches at the market. The ones you always say deserve love, even if no one else thinks so. » Tears filled your eyes, spilling over as you slid off the couch to kneel on the floor. The dog trotted over to you, tail wagging furiously, and licked at your hands. You laughed through your tears, scooping the little guy into your lap and cradling him like he was the most precious thing in the world.« He’s perfect, » you whispered, your voice trembling. « Absolutely perfect. » Marshall knelt beside you, watching as you showered your new friend with affection. « He’s yours, » he said. « And he’s gonna need you. You’ll have to help him get around sometimes, maybe even carry him when he’s having a rough day. But I thought… I thought you could take care of each other. »
You looked up at him, eyes filled with gratitude and something else—something that had been missing for too long. Hope. « Thank you, » you said, your voice thick with emotion. « I… I don’t even know what to say. » He gave you a smile and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. « You don’t have to say anything. Just get up tomorrow morning and love him. That’s it ».
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taropotwrites · 2 days ago
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“I can’t speak!” Jason screams, but all that comes out is a gargled mess that sends the expression on Dick’s face plummeting into the icy depths of hell. It’s so pleasing. So, so pleasing to see the joy and humour wiped clean from the face of Dick Fucking Grayson. That’s right, the grief in Jason crows, feel just an ounce of the pain that you left me in.
“I—“ Dick can’t seem to speak either, but for a different reason. His own voice box, whole and unslashed and never silenced, bobs as he swallows. “How did this happen, Jay? S-Since when…”
‘Are you fucking stupid!’ Jason feels his useless larynx tear at the force of his rage, mangled vocal cords vibrating painfully, feeding iron down his throat, ‘Who do you think did this to me!’ And the knife in his heart demands more agony, so Jason tears the collar of his under-armour down.
Dick’s eyes go straight to where he wants it, to Jason’s neck, where his mutism is slashed across his throat in one vicious, horrible, line. Seven inches stretching perpendicular to his oesophogus. Six months healed, but forever an angry, jagged scar of raised tissue.
And Jason knows that Dick knows. He hears the sharp intake of air, and sees Dick’s eyes grow round enough that he almost looks like his younger self. The self that had taken one look at Jason wearing his colours and cursed him for it.
Jason waits for the satisfaction to hit, begs for the high of the pain when he finally gets to see the horror, the anguish, on the face of the Robin that Jason had once watched flying over rooftops with nothing but stars in his eyes. Now neither of them are starry-eyed. Jason’s are poison green, while Dick’s are a few shades away from sharing the riteousouness of their mentor. So Jason waits, for disgust, or fear, or— Or anything! Anything that he could latch on to instead of noticing the wetness in his eyes, or the beat of his lungs expanding irregularly.
But Dick disappoints him. Because there is no anger from him, only an overwhelming sense of grief. Only a sharp recoil, and a sound almost like a sob.
Suddenly, Jason is uncomfortable. And ashamed.
“Jaybird…”
‘Stop looking at me like that,’ Jason’s mind says. ‘Get the fuck away from me,’ his body language says.
Dick swallows hard, tripping backwards. Away from Jason. “I-I’m sorry, I need to—“ He bolts from the room and takes Jason’s rage with him.
Dick is shaking. He’s shaking so hard his brain mistakes the floor as a ship adrift at sea, his side hits the corner of the table as he drops to his knees. It probably hurts, but not as much as the engulfing, stuttering pumping in his chest. His heart is trying to leave him through his throat, his lunch is successful.
Jason will never make jokes at Dick’s expense again.
Jason will never wittily insult his opponents again.
Jason will never quote Jane Austen or reenact Shakespeare again.
Jason will never speak again.
Oh god. Dick couldn’t even remember the last time he had heard his brother’s laugh. Was it before Ethiopia?
He wipes the sick from his mouth and goes back. Jason looks… not fine, his eyes are near glazed, but his head tracks movement so Dick tries anyways. “Does he know the full story?”
Jason’s shoulders come up in a kind of half shrug. Then his hands come up, flipping and moving. Dick scrambles to keep up, his signing is functional but inferior. The first Robin didn’t learn how to sign until Jason, who sat on a fire escape of a crime alley apartment building every night for months just trying to make conversation with a young boy who was deaf.
“His batarang,” Jason tells him in sign, a condemnation. It’s an answer for a lot of things. Because, Bruce had sat at a workbench for years, Bruce could slice an apple from a branch without rustling the leaves. Bruce knew what his batarangs could do.
Dick trembles. Rage? Fear? He doesn’t know, but it forces him to open his mouth. “He won’t fucking come near you again, Jay, I swear it.”
And that smashes the floodgates to smithereens. Jason is heaving, a wretched, ugly, soundless thing of pain and betrayal. His fingers jerk, pressing a phantom trigger, aimed at nothing until Dick steps forward. After that, Dick can barely keep up with Jason’s fluttering hands. “He chose him over me. He chose him. He killed me and he chose him.”
Him. Jason’s killer. Joker.
“I know, Jaybird, I know,” Dick whispers uselessly. “Tell me what you need.”
A breath, two. Jason exhales and it sounds like a rockslide in a thunderstorm. Sinew tearing, blood gushing. Dick’s toes curl at the sounds but Jason makes his lips move, soundlessly, at first. Pointlessly. Then gravel forcing itself off his tongue.
“K…ill… ‘im,” Jason rasps, the effort staining his teeth red.
And Dick closes his eyes, and swears it on the universe.
Usually I don't really enjoy the 'deaf Red Hood' trope 'cause Jason goes through enough in canon without the added angst. But, I dunno, I just really wanted to write like a hurt!Jason type thing and what better than if Dick finds out that Bruce's batarang did some lasting damage.
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pamwritessometimes · 2 days ago
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Tuesday's Gone — Chapter 7
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Russell Shaw x reader
Summary: When the police does little to no help to find your missing daughter, you are forced to contact Colter Shaw. What you don’t expect is how his investigation will reveal secrets about both your past and your daughter’s, in ways you never imagined.
Warnings: fluff, mentions of murdering someone (as a joke, kind of), so much Scooby-Doo and dog talk, GIRL DAD RUSSELL!! (he's a warning because – well, you'll see)
Y/N: This chapter... this chapter is literally my favorite from this series. Enjoy!🤍
Title’s based on Tuesday’s Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Catch up on Chapter 6 here
Tuesday’s Gone masterlist
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“What the actual hell are you doing here?” she snapped, her words laced with enough venom to make anyone think twice about speaking.
Russell, clearly anticipating her fury, quickly raised his hands in surrender. “I know this sounds insane, and I know you probably hate my guts – fair enough, you’ve got every reason to – but Y/N sent me to grab some stuff for her and Emma.”
Your sister’s brows furrowed in confusion for many things. “Where the hell are they? What did you do–”
“They’re at the hospital in Springland” Russell cut in, holding up a hand. “They’re fine, okay? Just– let me pack some things for them. You can come with me, I’ll explain everything on the way” he said.
Her hands started to tremble, and she had to grip the doorframe to steady herself. “So, they’re okay? Emma’s okay?” she asked.
“Yeah. They’re good” Russell said, though his gaze was unreadable. “Please, let me–”
A flood of emotions hit Anna all at once. Relief, yes, but also an undercurrent of fear she couldn’t shake. Emma was okay. That’s all that mattered. Still, she didn’t understand why they would be in Springland. And…why hadn’t Y/N called her? And why the hell was he here picking up their stuff?
Anna stared at him, trying to read him. The whole situation was a mess. Y/N and Russell hadn’t exactly parted on the best terms, and now here he was, showing up at her door, looking exhausted and out of place. Why him?
Still, Anna couldn’t help the relief flooding through her. Y/N and Emma were safe. They had to be. But she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something was still off.
“Alright” she sighed and reluctantly let him in. She helped him pack some sweaters, a new pair of jeans, clean underwear and everything you’d need during a hospital stay. She also tossed clothes to Emma, her favorite plushie – a Scooby-Doo toy your parents gave her. 
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Exhausted didn’t even begin to cover it. The last few days had chewed you up, spat you out, and trampled over what was left. You weren’t just tired. You were hollowed out, running on fumes and sheer willpower. You had a feeling like you’d need a month's rest, minimum. 
But at least Emma was safe. She was sleeping peacefully now, tucked into the hospital bed beside you. Physically, she was unharmed, Rourke and his men hadn’t laid a finger on her. Yet, you knew that wasn’t the whole story. Mentally, the trauma of it all would leave scars neither of you could see just yet. Your brave, sweet girl had been kidnapped. Stolen away. And the thought of what could have happened – no. Your mind can’t even go there.
Now here you were, sitting vigil beside her hospital bed. You’d been given your own bed in the room – thank heaven for small favors – but you couldn’t bring yourself to use it. Instead, you stayed planted by Emma’s side, staring at her tiny face as she slept. Her brows were furrowed even in rest, her lips pressed into a worried pout. Seeing her like that made your guilt weigh heavier.
You should have been her protector, her guardian angel, the one who kept the bad things away. And yet here you were, staring at the evidence of your failure. No four-year-old – or any child, for that matter – should have to go through this.
Your mind wouldn't quit, racing through the last few days like a bad movie on loop. First, the panic when you realized Emma was gone, the gut-wrenching moment it hit you, like a punch to the stomach. Then there was Rourke, that smug, twisted, mustache-framed smile of his, and the mess you’d thrown yourself into just to get her back. The helplessness you felt when you finally decided to call Colter. And, of course, there was Russell blowing back into your life like a hurricane, as if you hadn’t just spent years avoiding him.
They’d saved her. Saved both of you, really. And for all the hurt and confusion between you and Russell, you couldn’t deny that he had stepped up when it mattered most.
A soft knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts. 
The door creaked open, and Anna’s familiar auburn hair peeked in first. Her eyes softened when they landed on you and Emma. She slipped inside, moving quietly not to wake Emma, and behind her came Russell, lugging two heavy sports bags.
Anna came straight to you, her arms wrapping around you tightly as soon as she reached your side. You returned the hug, letting her warmth chase away a fraction of the chill that had washed over your skin.
“God, I was so worried. So, so, so worried.” she whispered with a voice heavily trembling.
“I know, I– I’m so sorry” you murmured. “I was too. Did Russell tell you?”
She pulled back just enough to look at you. “Yeah, he briefed me” she said as her hands were still gripping your arms. “Don’t worry, I put him in his place” she said and Russell rolled his eyes at that. She really did, the whole car ride had been a rather tense experience.
You nodded, your eyes stinging with unshed tears. “Thank you for coming. You didn’t have t–”
“Stop” Anna cut you off, smoothing a hand over your hair like she used to when you were kids. “Of course, I did.”
Her eyes slid to Russell, and her mouth tightened into a thin line. She knew you two had so many things to talk about, but – for obvious reasons – she didn’t want to leave you with him. On the ride here, Russell tried to explain everything. And by everything, he meant everything. His line of work, the reason you were brought to your sister’s house that night four and a half years ago, and the real reason Emma was taken. To say Anna hadn’t taken it well was an understatement. But even in her anger, she couldn’t miss the regret in his voice, or the way he spoke about Emma – like she was the most precious thing in his world, even though he barely knew her. That, more than anything, made her hesitate.
Anna’s gaze darted to Russell, who was mindlessly unpacking one of the bags she’d hurriedly thrown together, then back to you.
With a reluctant sigh, she said, “I’ll leave you two to talk.” Her voice carried the weight of a thousand unspoken warnings, all of them aiming directly at Russell. “I brought the essentials,” she added, nodding toward the duffels by the door. “I’ll be outside. Need to call Mom and Dad anyway.”
“Thanks, Anna”
She gave you a small, tight smile and leaned over to press a gentle kiss to Emma’s forehead. Without another word, she stepped out of the room.
The door clicked shut, leaving you alone with Russell. The silence that followed wasn’t heavy, not this time.
Russell cleared his throat, abandoning the duffels mid-unpack, and shoved his hands deep into his pockets.
“Thank you” you said quietly, your voice softer than you’d expected.
“For what?” he asked quietly.
You didn’t have a specific answer, really. There was too much to thank him for.
Bringing you here to make sure you and Emma were safe, for one.
At the diner, he’d distracted Emma with soothing words and a little game – like connecting with her was the most natural thing in the world. That moment had surprised you, even warmed you.
And then, of course, there was the big thing. The thing that mattered most. He and his brother had risked their lives to save Emma. Your child. Your entire world.
Sure, he was partly the reason Emma had been in danger to begin with. But after everything, could you really hold that against him? Not more than you blamed yourself, anyway. He hadn’t even known about her, let alone that she could be used as a pawn to hurt him. That part? That was on you. You’d made the decision to keep quiet about your pregnancy, letting your own hurt and anger drown out better judgment.
Really, both of you had made mistakes. He hadn’t told you what his real job was. You hadn’t told him he was going to be a father. And now, here you were – two people who had made a mess, trying to pick up the pieces.
“How is she?” Russell asked, his gaze landing on Emma. His voice was steady, but you could hear the waves of guilt underneath like a howling ocean.
“She’s... okay” you said, letting out a breath that felt like it had been trapped in your chest for days. “Physically, at least. The rest? That’s going to take time.”
He nodded but his jaw worked like he was trying to grind his regret into dust. “She’ll get through this…She’s strong. Like her mom.”
You blinked at him, caught off guard by the unexpected warmth in his words. For a second, the fortress you’d built around yourself wavered.
Hell, who were you kidding? That thing had crumbled the second Emma was back in your arms.
“I don’t know about that” you admitted.
“I do” he said, stepping a little closer, careful. “I saw it. These last few days... you didn’t stop. You didn’t back down. Not even when I showed up and probably made everything ten times harder.”
Your chest tightened, and you glanced down at your hands. They were still trembling, like your body hadn’t gotten the memo that the worst was over.
“I was terrified, Russell. Every second, I thought I’d lost her. I thought I’d never see her again.”
“But you didn’t” he said, sitting beside you like he belonged there. After a beat of silence, he added, “Because you fought for her. And when it came down to it, we fought for her together.”
That last word hit you like a gentle nudge to the heart. Together. You lifted your eyes to meet his, and for the first time in longer than you cared to admit, you saw something there you hadn’t let yourself see before. Honesty. Regret. And maybe... hope?
“I don’t even know how to thank you” you said, your voice soft. “You and your brother. I don’t even know where to start. I can’t—”
“Don’t” he interrupted, shaking his head. “You don’t need to thank me. I just... I had to. For her. For you.”
Your throat tightened, and you had to blink a few times to keep the tears at bay. “You saved her, Russell. That means everything to me.”
He leaned forward, his hand hovering near yours, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to close the gap. “I’d do it again. A thousand times over.”
The silence between you stretched, but for once, it wasn’t awkward. It was thick with all the things neither of you were ready to say but couldn’t deny anymore.
Finally, you reached out and your fingers brushed his calloused hands. “Stay” you whispered. “We’ve got a lot to figure out, but... I’d like you to stay. At least until she wakes up.”
The corners of his lips tugged up slightly, almost like he wanted to smile but thought better of it.
“I can do that.”
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You can’t remember when or how you drifted off, and you certainly can’t remember how you got into the bed beside Emma’s. For a moment, you were completely disoriented, like a GPS that lost signal. Your ears perked up at the sound of the TV, the familiar voice of Don Messick’s echoing through the room like an old friend. Was that Scooby-Doo you were hearing? Had you and Emma watched so much of it that now your brain was hallucinating talking dogs in your sleep?
You slowly peaked one eye open, then the other, dopiness sweeping through your system. You had to blink a couple before the blurry sight became clear in front of you.
There was Emma, sitting up on her bed, her eyes glued to the hospital TV in the corner, watching a rerun of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? She was making soft, nonsensical sounds that barely registered to you in your half-awake state. 
And next to her, there was Russell, lying on his side with his head propped up on one arm, also mumbling. Emma’s head was nestled against his torso, her small body curled up in a cozy little ball next to his as she clutched the Scooby plushie Anna must have packed for her. They were both completely absorbed in the episode, their voices blending together in what could only be described as an animated commentary on the show.
You tried to make sense of what they were saying, but their words were a jumble to you – intelligible to them, maybe, but not to your sleep-fogged brain.
It didn’t take long for you to recognize the episode they were watching: Decoy for a Dognapper.
Of course. Emma was a Scooby fan. You and her know all the episodes by heart at this point, so much that Scooby-Doo was practically a second language in your house. And it seemed like Russell had caught on too, or at least, he’d been swept into the Scooby-verse by default. The two of them were so wrapped up in their conversation, they didn’t even notice you were awake.
“No way! She won’t? Why not? A dog is awesome” Russell said, his voice carrying the first full sentence your foggy mind could grasp.
“She says I’m too young” Emma replied, snuggling closer to his side as though the injustice of it all was just simply too much to bear.
“Too young? That’s ridiculous. What does that even mean?” Russell shot back, his tone scandalized for comedic effect. “Dogs don’t care how old you are. They care if you’ve got snacks and ear scratchin’ in store for ‘em.”
Emma giggled. “Mom doesn’t wanna pick up poop.”
Russell tilted his head thoughtfully. “Well, if I remember correctly, your mom was seriously considering getting a dog a few years ago.”
At that, you sat up with a groan. “Really, Russell?” 
It was true, he and you both knew it. About five or so years ago, you’d gone on and on about adopting a dog – all the goddamn time. Russell had endured countless rants about breeds, shelters, and the pros and cons of pet ownership. Now, the smirk on his face told you he was thoroughly enjoying throwing it back in your face. Payback’s a bitch, huh?
Both of them turned to look at you. Emma with her wide-eyed, angelic innocence, and Russell with a grin that was downright infuriating in its smugness.
“Morning” he greeted with a widening grin. “We were just discussing the tragic lack of a dog in Emma’s life. Care to defend yourself?”
“Yeah, Mom!” Emma chimed in with an emboldened voice by her new ally. “Why can’t I have one?”
You rubbed your temples, though a smile tugged at your lips. “Because you’re too young, and I know exactly how that would end. I’d be the one walking it, feeding it, and cleaning up after it, dealing with everything.”
Russell raised a brow, looking way too amused. “Funny, you didn’t seem to mind the idea a couple of years ago.”
You shot him a pointed look. “Don’t make her think she has backup in this, Russ.”
“Too late” he said, leaning back with a grin. “Team Dog is officially in full force, yeah?”
Emma threw her hands in the air triumphantly, flashing you the biggest grin. “Team Dog!”
You groaned, but the warmth bubbling in your chest betrayed you. It wasn’t just the banter – it was seeing them like this, bonding over something silly, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Emma looked like a carefree kid again. 
You narrowed your eyes at Russell, fully expecting another smug remark when he suddenly looked... hesitant. He cleared his throat, shifting his weight on the bed like a man about to drop a bombshell.
“What?” you asked, immediately suspicious.
“Well” he started, scratching the back of his neck, “don’t freak out, but... your parents are here. They got here a couple hours ago while you were out. Anna called them, I guess. She must’ve worked her magic because, well... let’s just say I was fully prepared to be murdered the second they walked in.”
Your hand flew to your forehead as you groaned, visions of your parents tearing into Russell flashing through your mind.
You didn’t tell them about him being here yet… and you guess it was already too late.
Your dad would be loud about it, your mom quieter but somehow more terrifying. You could only imagine the list of grievances they had ready for him. You just hoped they didn’t cause a scene in front of the whole hospital – and most importantly, in front of Emma.
“Wait” you narrowed your eyes. “They’re not trying to kill you? What did Anna even say to make that happen?”
“I think she went with the ‘he saved Emma’ card. Pretty sure your mom’s exact words were, ‘Well, I suppose I won’t bury him under the hydrangeas... yet.’”
You couldn’t help it, you snorted. It was just so her. “Sounds about right. And dad?”
Russell winced theatrically. “Your dad... definitely gave me the look. You know, the one that says, ‘I’m debating whether you’re worth the jail time.’ But he hasn’t thrown any punches yet, so I’ll count that as a win.”
Emma tilted her head, a frown pulling at her lips. “Why does Grandma and Grandpa wanna hurt Russell? He’s so nice!”
The room went so quiet you could hear the faint hum of the hospital machinery. Russell froze, looking at you for backup, but you were too busy giving him a look – the universal signal for you started this, buddy, now deal with it.
“Well, sweetheart” he said slowly, scratching his head. “They don’t actually want to hurt me. It’s just... a joke. You know, like when people say they’re gonna kill someone, but they don’t really mean it?”
Emma gave him a serious look, like she wasn’t entirely convinced. “But why? What did you do?”
You sighed, realizing there was no easy way out of this. “Sweetie” you began gently, “it’s kind of a long story. But Grandma and Grandpa are just... protective. They’re not mad at Russell anymore. Or at least, not much.”
Emma’s curious gaze ping-ponged between the two of you. “Why?”
“Okay” you said, sitting on the edge of Emma’s bed and taking a deep breath. “The thing is... Russell didn’t do anything bad. Not really. It’s just... well, a long time ago, before you were born, Russell and I used to–”
“Date…” Russell interjected, apparently deciding to rip the band-aid off.
Emma’s eyes widened. “Date? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“Yes” you admitted, your cheeks warming. “Like boyfriend and girlfriend.”
She stared at the two of you, her little brows furrowing as she processed this new information. Then her face lit up with excitement. “Were you married?”
“Whoa, whoa, pump the brakes” you said, holding up your hands. “No, we were not married. We just... used to be together.”
Emma tilted her head again, her expression now puzzled. “Then why are Grandma and Grandpa angry at Russell?”
Russell chuckled nervously. “It’s not as bad as it sounds, kiddo. They’re just... protective of your mom.”
“Very protective” you muttered. You took a deep breath, preparing for the big reveal. “Sweetheart, here’s the thing. After Russell and I stopped being boyfriend and girlfriend… I found out that you were already growing in my belly.”
Emma’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, her mouth forming a perfect O at your carefully selected words. “You mean… like when babies are in tummies?”
You were trying to keep your tone light as you nodded. “Exactly like that.”
Emma tilted her head, her little brow furrowed as she worked it out in her mind. “So… that means… Russell’s my daddy?”
Russell smiled, his heart visibly melting. “Yeah.”
Emma blinked at him, then at you, then back at him, as though she was piecing together the most important puzzle of her life. After a moment of silence, her face broke into a huge grin. “YAY! I have a daddy!”
Emma scooted closer to Russell, wrapping her arms around his neck in an enthusiastic hug. “You’re my daddy now! That means you have to stay forever!”
Russell’s eyes glistened, and he hugged her back tightly. “I’ll be here as much as I can, I promise.”
Emma pulled back slightly, her face lighting up with another burst of excitement. She turned her wide, sparkling eyes up at Russell. “Can we get a dog now, Daddy?”
You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Oh, for the love of – Emma!”
“What?” she said innocently, looking between you and Russell. “You said no before ‘cause it was just you! But now Daddy can help with the poop!”
Russell burst out laughing, clearly enjoying this too much. “She’s got a point, you know.”
You shot him a look that could have frozen water. “Don’t encourage her.”
“Team Dog!” Emma giggled and Russell ruffled her hair affectionately, somehow steering her to sit back down and continue their Scooby-Doo marathon.
Despite yourself, you took a deep breath, still trying to get your head around the unexpected turn of events.
This was... a lot.
But for some reason, it didn’t feel as overwhelming as it should. Sure, it had been a complete curveball to drop the whole Russell-is-your-dad bombshell, but Emma’s bright smile, the way she’d lit up at the news, somehow made it all feel like it could work.
As Emma giggled, you let out a sigh of relief. This wasn’t how you thought this conversation would go, but somehow, it was already starting to feel a little more like a family.
A very unusual family.
But a family nonetheless.
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Next on Tuesday's Gone (Sneak Peek from Chapter 8):
Still, Russell had clearly decided that proximity was his job. He was there nearly every day, and on more than a few nights, too. 
“Just in case” he’d say. You didn’t know, but he loved staying there when the both of you were sound asleep. During those times, he felt an indescribable peace. 
And then there was his latest obsession: fixing everything. It started innocently enough – he noticed a cabinet door hanging loose and gave it a quick tune-up. Then he spotted the wobbly bathroom doorknob. Before long, the guy was like a one-man Home Depot commercial, patching up squeaks and quirks you hadn’t even realized were annoying you.
And at first, you didn’t even notice. But one day, you walked into the kitchen, and something felt... off. Not bad-off, just different. Quieter. 
The cupboards didn’t bang shut anymore, the sticky drawer slid like butter, and that creaky floorboard by the living room? Silent. It was like Russell had decided that if he couldn’t fix all your problems, he’d settle for conquering your house.
And the worst part? It was kind of working.
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I might have giggled all the way while writing it, or maybe I didn’t. But hey, Emma has a dad!
Chapter 8 coming soon...
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@bitchykittenconnoisseur @smoothdogsgirl @spnfamily-j2 @winchesterwild78 @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @zepskies @kr804573 @sebastianstangirl01 @kmc1989 @drakelover78 @amberlthomas @lomlbuckybarnes @n-o-p-e-never
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morganski-19 · 3 days ago
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Chills Right to the Marrow Part 52
ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 49, part 50, part 51
Wayne had a bed. The “For Sale” sign in the front lawn of the Harrington’s house has a giant red “Sold” sticker. Boxes fill the trunks of cars, and all the lights go dim. Every speck of life from that house, what little there was, is gone.
They were ready to move on. Move forward. Together.
There was no going back once his truck left this driveway. This would be the last time that he would ever live in a house larger than his own imagination. Larger than his dreams could afford. Living here was never permanent, but it was safe. A space that he came home to and felt at peace. Knowing that his nephew was there, alive, that there were people that cared about them. More than he thought they should, but they did anyway.
It was unbelievable, really. Knowing how many people rally together to help people they barely know. How Wayne deserved that, how he was able to get it at all, he will never know. He’s still wondering when they will all up and leave daily. He’s been fighting on his own for most of his life, he doesn’t know what to do with the small army that’s rallied behind him. Behind Eddie. Any of it.
When the key turns in the lock of his new home, it feels like the first time. Like it knows that this time he walks through the door, it’s permanent. Tonight, will be the first night of his new life. Almost a fresh start. He can hold it in his hands, but it doesn’t feel real.
Steve and Eddie walk in a bit later. Steve with two duffle bags slung over his shoulders. Ever since Wayne’s known about them, they’ve hid their relationship less. Still a bit when the kids are around, but once you see it, you can’t unsee it. He still has his worries, but they seem to be working together. Figuring it out as they go. Trying, failing, and trying again.
He’s never seen them so happy. Not this kind of happy at least. As they walk down the hall to Eddie’s room, laughing about something that Wayne doesn’t even know, it makes him smile. It brings a light to this house that only makes it shine.
Wayne’s room isn’t anything special, plain walls and carpet flooring. But it doesn’t matter. He has a door. He hasn’t had one of those since Eddie moved in. He has a closet. A small closet, but a closet none-the-less. He has a space of his own, one he has no clue what to do with, but can’t wait to find out.
The bed gets made; his clothes get unpacked. It still looks so bare, but it’s growing. Everything’s growing.
For the past few months, it was one thing after another. Running so fast and hoping that everything was done right in between. There were so many mistakes, so many changes. So many things Wayne wants to take back but never can. His life changed, for worse, and for better. Funny how change can do that.
“Wayne, what pizza toppings do you want?” Eddie yells from the kitchen. He had to make it through several walls now, they weren’t in such close quarters anymore.
“The regular,” he yells back. Hoping it was loud enough to hear.
The first night is good. The three of them at the kitchen table, laughing. Ready for something new. When Wayne went to sleep that night, it was the most peace he’d had in a while. Every little worry he had was put on hold. Let him finally rest, so he can continue with everything else tomorrow.
The doorbell rings in the mid-morning. Dustin waiting behind it with a casserole dish.
“My mom sends her congratulations on the house,” he says, pushing the casserole in his hands. “I’d say this is the last of it, but that would be a lie.”
Wayne laughs, nodding for Dustin to come in. “I’m surprised you guys didn’t throw a welcome party or anything. Thought you would be the group to do that.”
“Eddie talked us out of it, said it wouldn’t be what you wanted.”
“Well, he’s right. Can I get you anything?”
He shakes his head. “No, I’m heading over to Mike’s. We’re doing this summer campaign that he made with Will and it’s taking forever.” He’s silent for a moment, before continuing, “I still can’t believe you guys actually moved.”
“Crazy how life moves sometimes, right? I’d never thought I be able to have a place like this.”
There’s a crackle coming from Dustin’s backpack, a muffled voice coming through.
“I gotta go, hope you like the casserole, but don’t let my mom know that unless you expect a dozen more.”
Wayne follows Dustin out, grabbing the morning paper while he watches him bike away. It’s crazy how he’s seen that boy become the shell of a person after that week, and slowly come back to the person he is. Not quite fully there yet, but close.
It’s even crazier how the boys eventually emerge from Eddie’s bedroom and get food. How Wayne can just faintly hear the clink of mugs as they get coffee. The crash of dishes as they make something to eat. The noise used to echo through their little space before, now is muffled by the wall that separates them.
“Paper’s here,” Wayne says when he enters the kitchen, tossing it on the table.
“Thank you.” Steve puts down his coffee to go and grab the paper, flipping to the ads about vacancies.
“Anything new?” Eddie asks, eating some cereal at the table.
Steve shakes his head. “Not yet, I’ll check the other ones when I go to work though.”
“Game’s on tonight, want me to tape it for you?” Wayne asks.
“That would be great, thank you.”
Eddie groans. “The fact that I live with two sports fans is something I never thought would happen.”
Wayne pushes off the doorway. “Well, you’ve been living with one for years, so I think you can learn to deal with it.”
He leaves them to their breakfast, looking around to find something to do. There’re a few things he found at the thrift store he’s still trying to find the right spot to hang. A new shelf, picture frames waiting to be filled, a painting he liked. All things to help him make this the place he always dreamed, even if it was already there.
At night, when the door closes behind him and he lays in his bed, he can still hear the movement in the house. The patter of feet as they walk down the hall and the creaks of floorboards. The thump of Eddie’s can or his crutches. The water flowing through the taps, and the music coming from the room across the hall.
All of it, everything, was more than he ever dreamed. The people that stuck by him, stood up for his family, are now his friends. A community that welcomed him with open arms. His nephew is getting better. Learning how to manage his new life, in all the aspects of it. A person who not only opened his doors for them, but wanted to stay even when there wasn’t enough to give back.
What started in uncomfortable hospital chairs landed him in a plush bed, in a house that is his own. Pain transformed into hope he couldn’t even conceive. Life moved, and he moved with it. Funny how it landed him here, happier than he’s been in a long time.
A laugh forms in his chest, and he frees it.
“What’s so funny,” Eddie asks, walking over to the couch.
“Nothing,” Wayne shakes his head. “Nothing at all.”
Note: Wayne's pov is now complete. One more chapter of Dustin's pov before we start the epilogue.
tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,
@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,
@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,
@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,
@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,
@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,
@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,
@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,
@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,
@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores
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ivystoryweaver · 1 day ago
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It's Everything - Jake Lockley
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Jake + First Date + Haunted Corn Maze
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Fall Fluff Masterlist | Jake Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Word Count: 684 || for @blablabiblejesusmagic and @howellatme
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Jake Lockley's been driving the van for the retirement home you work at for the last few months
He's so mysterious and dashing, always sporting a leather jacket, black dress shoes and trousers, a flat cap
and the most interesting sexy facial hair. He changes it up - sometimes it's a beard or a mustache or realllllly hot stubble
The little old ladies adore him. He helps them in and out of the van with a kiss on the hand.
The men love to tell him long stories. He listens to them like they are the most interesting people in the world
So there are many reasons you became slightly smitten
You accompany the senior adults on many outings like the movies or to a concert. Today is a fall festival.
Jake's only job is to drive the van there and back, but he ends up walking around with everyone, helping out, while the seniors shop for antiques and crafts, eat a snack and listen to live music.
That's when the two of you notice the corn maze. Definitely not an activity for the seniors but Jake nods toward it.
"Do you own boots?"
You lift your booted foot, turning it this way and that.
"You're not scared of a little mud, are you?"
"Jake, we cannot take them in there, you know that."
"Maybe we could come back another time. Like tomorrow night?" His dark eyebrows arch curiously.
You point to yourself, mouthing, "Me?"
"Yeah, you." He winks.
So that's how you end up on a date with Jake, at a corn maze.
"I didn't think people liked to do corn mazes at night."
"They do if it's a haunted corn maze."
At the maze entrance, there's a creepy looking clown selling a variety of glow-in-the-dark items to illuminate the maze and make it more fun.
Jake buys you a glowing headband and multicolored flashlight. You feel like a kid again.
"How do I look?" You twirl around once after fixing your headband in place.
"Glowing."
The two of you enter the maze, brandishing your neon gadgets to ward off anything too spooky.
"No one's gonna jump out and grab me, are they?" You whisper, huddling next to him.
"Not if they wanna keep their arms," he quite seriously assures you, taking the opportunity to pull you close.
After enduring more than enough jump scares, you realize you might actually be lost.
"Please tell me you know the way out of here. I haven't been paying attention," you confess, shining your light this way and that.
Jake has finally released his hold on you as the two of you try one path after another.
For some reason you get the giggles and start laughing every time you hit a dead end.
"If we get stuck in here, I'm going to blind you with this flashlight," you warn, brandishing it like a weapon.
"Good luck with that," he cockily teases, holding up his own flashlight and making a whooshing lightsaber-type sound.
This leads to a quick duel, and you're thrilled to learn that the suave, sexy Jake is actually as big of a nerd as you are, at least in some respects.
"Come on, I think we're close to the entrance," he encourages, boldly taking your hand to lead you along.
"There's no way you know where we are," you tease. "You just want to hold my hand."
"Accurate." He grins. "Well, this anyway." He brings your fingers to his lips and steals a kiss.
You turn another corner and realize you're at the exit.
"Jake, we did it!" You cheer, throwing your arms around him in celebration.
It feels good to hug him. To hold his hand. To be close. To have his undivided attention.
"I thought you were just nice to everyone," you admit as you stroll along near the food trucks. "I didn't think you liked me as much as..."
You trail off, realizing what you just blurted out.
"I knew it." He winks. "It's the mustache, right?"
You breathlessly laugh, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "It's everything."
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Fall Fluff Masterlist || Jake Masterlist || Main Masterlist
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askthefamous8 · 3 days ago
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Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!
So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.
• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent
The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.
.
Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.
Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago
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I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.
On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.
I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.
So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.
If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years
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luvismenu · 8 hours ago
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09 — miss your touch ✎ ,, index
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nsfw warnings: kissing.
note: she's not pregnant you guys dw 😭
wc: 3.4k
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a week.
it's been a week since you've seen jungkook.
there were a few texts from him, asking if you were okay, but nothing beyond that. you answered with short replies; a yes or a no. sometimes, you asked how he was, and he'd say he's okay. but there’s a clear shift now, an invisible line drawn between you two.
a line you’d already crossed once but now seem to be retreating behind. back to where you started; strangers who just happened to share something.
you might’ve overreacted.
the thought stings, but yeah, maybe you did. he wasn’t even that late. you believe him when he said he had to deal with something. that something being a female, it’s not like he hid it. still, for reasons you can’t explain, just thinking about it makes you roll your eyes.
but he came straight to you after that.
and you know jungkook doesn’t lie. at least, that’s what you’ve learned about him in these two months.
two months.
it’s been two months, and yet here you are, acting as if he’s yours.
he isn’t.
and that’s good. you don’t want a relationship. you never did. relationships are nothing but unnecessary stress or drama. or at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.
you can’t let jungkook fall into the “relationship” category. but calling him your casual fuck buddy feels off, because you’re both closer than that now. thinking of him as just a friend, though... that feels wrong. unnatural, even.
it’s so complicated.
it shouldn’t be. but it is.
sometimes, it feels like he doesn’t care. you wish he’d show more emotions, something more than his usual calm, nonchalant demeanor.
it feels like you’re the only one overthinking this while he’s just... fine. unaffected.
why do i feel like a wreck? is it just me? you wonder.
you don't wanna miss his touch.
you don't wanna miss him.
but you miss him more than you want to admit.
and now, you don’t even know how to approach him. things feel so awkward. you’re not sure how to cross that line you’ve suddenly drawn.
a week without seeing him feels like forever. especially when, for the past two months, he’s been part of your every day. whether it was texts or calls, he was there.
which is why you’re here. at the business expo everyone’s been working so hard for.
you don’t know much about it, just the bare minimum yoongi mentioned. apparently, other majors can attend as long as they say they’re interested in learning something.
as if. you would never attend something like this.
but for him? for jungkook?
you’re here anyway.
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jungkook feels like a wreck.
he misses you.
a lot.
but at the same time, he thinks he needed that break. from everything. a week isn’t much, but it gave him enough space to clear his head.
iseul tried to contact him again. he blocked her number.
then she tried to approach him in person. he blocked her out of his life too.
he knows she’s probably furious, and maybe even hurt, but he couldn’t let her keep dragging him into the same cycle. not anymore.
“jungkook, i’m sorry, honey, i didn’t mean to snap at you that day—” she said, her voice was soft, almost pleading.
but he cut her off, firm and final, his words heavy but deliberate.
“i think it’s for the best if we move on now.”
he couldn’t believe those words came out of his mouth, but for once, he didn’t regret them. saying it felt like a weight had been lifted, one he’d been carrying far too long.
it wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
now, though?
all he can think about is you.
you told him you were fine now. the conversations between you two since then have been brief, surface level, and awkward. it feels like a wall has been built, and though neither of you acknowledges it, it’s there.
jungkook wishes you’d talk to him soon, break through whatever tension is lingering.
when you told him to leave that day, he froze for a moment. it stung, but he understood. if you needed space, he’d give it to you. the last thing he wanted was to make things harder for you when you were already unwell.
but he feels awful.
all he did was add to your stress, and now the guilt is eating at him. he’s ready to do anything—absolutely anything—to make things right with you, to hear you say you forgive him.
yet, it feels strange.
why does he feel this way about you?
whatever this is between you, it was supposed to be no strings attached. that was the deal. you both made it clear from the beginning. but somewhere along the line, things shifted. you’re not just a hookup to him anymore. you’re so much more than that, though he’s not sure how to define it.
he wonders if he should set boundaries, remind himself of what this arrangement is supposed to be. but it’s hard—impossible, even. every time you’re together, he’s drawn to you. it’s like you’ve got this pull on him, and he doesn’t even want to resist it.
he doesn’t wanna miss your touch.
and right now?
right now, he just misses you. everything about you.
“jungkook, is that you?” a voice cuts through his thoughts, pulling him back to the present. jungkook turns, searching for the source of the familiar voice.
“ah, it is you!”
his lips twitch into a smile when he spots the person approaching him.
“jin hyung,” he says, a little surprised to see him.
jin strides up to him, pulling him into a firm hug and patting his back.
“took you long enough to show up,” jungkook says as they pull apart, raising a brow.
jin lets out a dramatic sigh. “had to deal with things, you know how it is,” he says, waving a hand before flashing a grin. “but hey, i’m here now, aren’t i?”
“yeah, you are,” jungkook replies, shaking his head lightly, though the smile on his face betrays the faint scolding in his tone.
“oh, come on,” jin says, feigning offense. “is that it? is that all the welcome i get? give me a proper one! i am one of the guests tonight, after all.”
his grin grows wider, and jungkook can’t help but chuckle at his hyung’s playful energy.
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where is jungkook?
you're in the auditorium, surrounded by bustling booths, neatly arranged tables, and groups of students passionately discussing their projects. you didn’t realize business majors went all out for an expo like this.
you feel like yelling his name at the top of your lungs. you've been walking around, searching through a sea of unfamiliar faces, but you can’t find him anywhere.
“uh, hey,” you say, tapping a guy’s shoulder, interrupting his conversation.
woah, this guy has really broad shoulders.
he turns around, and you’re momentarily taken aback. the man is tall, dressed in a suit that looks like it was tailored for him, glasses framing his handsome face, and hair styled perfectly.
“yes?” he asks, polite but slightly curious.
you hesitate, then decide to go for it. “do you know where i can find jungkook? i mean, jeon jungkook? he’s supposed to be here somewhere,” you say, unsure if he even knows who jungkook is. but you’re desperate now.
his lips curl into a small smile. “why, of course. i was just speaking with him a few minutes ago. he excused himself to use the restroom, so he should be back shortly.”
“thank you,” you reply quickly, already preparing to make your way toward the direction of the restrooms. maybe, just maybe, you’ll bump into him as he’s walking back.
“are you one of his friends?” the man asks suddenly, stopping you from taking a step forward.
you glance at him, unsure how to respond. “uh... yes, kinda. sure,” you say awkwardly. you catch the faint arch of his brow, as if your answer only piqued his curiosity more.
why didn’t i just say yes? you mentally scold yourself, feeling ridiculous.
clearing your throat, you quickly excuse yourself.
"excuse me,” you mumble before turning and walking away, hoping the restroom isn’t far and jungkook will finally appear.
you walk through the rows of booths, still scanning the area for any sign of jungkook. the loud chatter of students and the hum of discussions fill the air, but all you can focus on is the thought of finding him.
as you near the restrooms, you catch a glimpse of a familiar figure standing by the entrance, hands stuffed in his pockets, his posture relaxed yet somehow tense.
it’s him.
your heart skips a beat, and you can’t help the small sigh of relief that escapes you. he looks as good as ever, effortlessly drawing your eyes to him. he’s wearing a sharp black suit that fits him perfectly, making him look every bit as important as you’re sure he is. he must be a key figure in this expo, you think.
all you know is that he’s supposed to give some kind of presentation. that’s it. nothing more. you didn’t bother to find out the details because, honestly, none of it matters to you.
all you want right now is to see him.
you walk towards him, taking slow steps, unsure how to act. you haven't seen him in what feels like forever, and all that awkward tension you’ve been trying to ignore creeps back up.
when he notices you, his eyes widen for just a second before a small smile breaks across his face. it’s a smile you haven’t seen in a while.
“hey,” he greets you.
you nod, trying to keep your cool despite the rush of emotions. “hi,” you say, feeling your heart race. you look at him, searching his face for any clue about how he’s been, but you can't tell much.
“i didn’t think you’d show up,” he admits, his gaze flickering over you. “thought you were gonna skip it.”
“just wanted to see what this is all about.” you say, trying to sound casual
he chuckles softly, his eyesglancing down. “didn’t expect you to be interested in this stuff.”
“well, i’m not,” you say, feeling the need to explain yourself. “but i wanted to see you. jungkook.”
there’s a brief moment of silence as his expression shifts, and you can’t tell if he’s surprised or if he’s just been waiting for you to say something. his eyes meet yours, and there’s an intensity there that makes you second guess every word you just said.
��i’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he says quietly, stepping a little closer. “i know things have been... off. and honestly—”
loud chatter in the background interrupts him, making both of you exchange a quick glance before he speaks up again.
“follow me.”
you follow him without thinking. the sound of people fading away as you walk through the crowd. he leads you to what feels like an empty lecture hall, making sure to lock the door behind you. you stand there, waiting for him to speak, the quiet now heavy between you two.
“i know things have been different recently,” he starts again, his voice soft. “and i honestly don’t know why...” he sighs. “but i want to apologize for that day. i’m really sorry.”
you swallow, trying to steady yourself. “i forgive you,” you say, your voice steady, but there's still an uncertainty in your chest.
“really?” he looks at you, his gaze searching yours for some kind of reassurance.
“yeah,” you nod, “i was just sick and i guess i overreacted a little, i’m sorry for that.”
he shakes his head quickly. “you didn’t. you didn’t overreact.”
a quiet but heavy silence fills the space between you both.
“so, uh, cool event,” you say, trying to break the tension.
“don’t act like you care,” jungkook smiles, the familiar smirk finally making its way onto his face.
you smile too, shrugging lightly. “yeah, i don’t.”
there’s another brief silence. you’re not sure what to say next, the awkwardness still lingering in the air. what if he’s going to end things? what if he’s had enough? what if.
“jungkook, i—”
his lips are on yours before you can even finish your sentence. the kiss catches you off guard, but his arms wrap tightly around your waist, pulling you in, and any hesitation melts away. his warmth seeps into you, grounding you in the moment as his lips move against yours with a desperate sort of tenderness.
you don’t pull back. instead, you let yourself fall into it, let him guide you. the kiss deepens, and with it, the questions and uncertainties that had been weighing you down dissolve, replaced by the overwhelming feeling of him. here, now, with you.
when you finally pull back, your chest heaves as you gasp for air. your mind is racing, your heart pounding in your chest. you don’t know how to respond. a part of you wants to spill everything; how much you’ve missed him, how unbearable the distance has been, how empty you’ve felt without his touch. but the words catch in your throat, like they're stuck somewhere.
“i’m sorry, i…” he begins, his voice barely above a whisper. his hands don’t leave your waist, holding you close as if afraid you might slip away. “i missed you.”
those three words hit harder than you expect, stirring something deep inside you. warmth spreads through your chest, a quiet comfort you didn’t realize you’d been craving.
it’s simple, almost too simple, but it feels like it’s enough. like it’s the answer to everything that’s been weighing on your heart; the confusion, the space, the silence between you two. suddenly, none of it matters.
“you missed me?” you ask softly, your voice trembling just slightly. it’s as if you need to hear him say it again, to be sure you’re not imagining it.
he nods, his eyes locked on yours. his voice is gentle. “yeah, i did.”
you stare at each other for a moment, the air between you thick with many unspoken feelings. then, without thinking, you lean in, closing the distance as your lips find his. your arms wrapping around his neck as if pulling him closer could erase all the time you spent apart. he responds immediately, his lips pressing against yours with equal fervor, like he’s been waiting for this.
your right leg slides up instinctively, brushing against his hip, and he understands your silent request. his hands move to your thigh, gripping it firmly as he lifts you effortlessly. your legs wrap around his waist, and his strong hands shift to cup your ass, holding you securely against him. the closeness sends a rush of heat through you, your bodies fitting together perfectly.
the kiss deepens, his tongue teasing against your lips until you part them, granting him access. his tongue brushes against yours, slow and deliberate, sending a wave of warmth straight to your core. you hum softly into the kiss, the sound vibrating between you, and his grip on you tightens.
he places you on the nearby desk, his lips never leaving yours. his hands grip your waist, keeping you steady. your fingers slide down to his chest, gently gripping his shirt as if holding on for balance. he pulls back for a brief moment, giving you both a chance to catch your breath.
without hesitation, he shrugs off his blazer, carelessly tossing it to the floor. the sound of it hitting the ground barely registers as his hands return to you, cupping your face with a tenderness that contrasts the heat between you. his lips find yours again, urgent yet soft, and you let him take control, your hands moving to cup his face too.
your legs wrap around his hips, pulling him closer, and you can feel his soft bulge pressing against you. the sensation is enough to make your breath hitch, and you instinctively tilt your hips toward him, craving more of the pressure.
he pulls back slightly, his lips brushing against yours as he murmurs, “you drive me crazy.”
oh fuck.
“what—” you start to ask, but the sound of knocking interrupts you.
both of your heads snap toward the door, your bodies tense.
“jungkook!? you in there?” a familiar voice calls out, loud and clear.
jungkook immediately recognizes it and clears his throat, trying to steady his voice. “yes! jin hyung, i’m here.”
“i’m about to give my speech, so you better be there asap!” jin’s voice is full of its usual dramatic flair. “i came all the way here for this moment, and i don’t want you to miss my glory.”
you hear his footsteps retreating, his words lingering in the air.
jungkook exhales, his head leaning slightly forward until it rests against your forehead. his hands remain on your waist, his touch warm, grounding you in a moment that feels anything but steady. he mumbles under his breath, almost as if he’s scolding himself. “of all the times…”
your heart races, and your mind spins in circles. what does he mean by you drive him crazy? the weight of those words presses down on you, heavy and confusing.
“jungkook,” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “i think you should go.”
he lifts his head to look at you, his brows furrowing slightly. the regret in his eyes is unmistakable.
maybe i shouldn’t have said that. he thinks as he takes a small step back, creating a gap between you that suddenly feels too wide.
“are you going to stay?” he asks cautiously, his voice softer now.
you open your mouth to answer but hesitate. you don’t know what to say. this was never part of your plan. all you wanted was to see him, to tell him you were sorry too. but now, standing here with him, everything feels so much more complicated.
“___,” he says your name gently, snapping you out of your daze. your gaze meets his, and he blinks at you, his expression searching.
“i know things have changed between us, and—”
“what do you mean? we’re fine, though,” you cut him off quickly, the words spilling out as if saying them will make them true.
he lets out a heavy sigh, “are we?”
the question catches you off guard. your frown deepens as uncertainty settles in your chest.
are we?
your silence answers for you, and he notices. he always notices.
“it’s okay,” he says softly, almost like he’s trying to soothe you. “i don’t know how to deal with it either.” he pauses, his voice quieter. “i don’t know what we are right now.”
what are we?
the words echo in your mind, and you hate how much they hurt. it wasn’t supposed to be like this. you never wanted it to turn into this mess.
“i think…” you start, and his eyes are on you immediately, waiting, hoping you’ll say something that will make this all easier.
“...i should go.”
you don’t miss the way his shoulders drop just slightly, the smallest sign of defeat. you hesitate for a moment before sliding off the desk, your movements stiff and uncertain.
you gulp, forcing yourself to meet his gaze one last time. “good luck with your presentation,” you say softly. you linger for a second, watching him, hoping he’ll say something to stop you. but all he does is nod, his response quiet and unreadable.
with a deep breath, you turn around and walk toward the door. every step feels heavier than the last.
behind you, jungkook exhales a long, weary sigh, running a hand through his hair.
did i mess it up? he wonders, his chest tightening with something he doesn’t know how to name.
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a/n: um haha.... jin with glasses yay!! 🏃🏻‍♀️
📜 series taglist: @deepikhaprakash @rjooniesdimples @wombatkitten127 @hoseokteardrop
📜 permanent taglist: @lovieku @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @onlyforyoukook @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @genevieveeeee @kookoo-kachoo @junecat18 @iheartchanelle @internetrando64 @jkvias @134340-kr @mar-lo-pap @fluttershypoo @kyuupii @https-mei @elinaki92 @jungkookmyoneandonlybaby @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @jaykay-world @jmscaffeine @libra04 @beigerin @nikidream24 @svnbangtansworld @mimi1097
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covenofagatha · 2 hours ago
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Saw you're taking requests and decided to toss one your way!
Agatha x reader, reader has had a really tough day and Agatha helps put her into subspace to relax. Some soft!dom Agatha with a splash of praise, degradation, mommy and maybe some size kink? And of course some fluffy aftercare after reader has been thoroughly fucked out of her mind❤
Hope you enjoy! (Disclaimer: I've never written subspace before so hopefully I did it justice, along with everything else you wanted)
Bad day
When Agatha comes home to find that you had a bad day, she takes it upon herself to make you feel better
Word count: 2600
Warnings: praise kink, degradation kink, subspace, size kink, mommy kink, oral, strap-on, aftercare, smut, and fluff (I may have missed one)
You’re on your last nerve when you get to your afternoon class on Wednesday. 
Your car didn’t start in the morning so your girlfriend, Agatha, had to drop you off at work, which you’d never complain about, except she had still been asleep when this happened so you were almost late because she had to get ready. 
And then work was awful. You had a shift at the popular retail store in town and it seemed like every customer who came in was on a mission to personally ruin your day. 
From dissatisfaction with the prices to vomit all over the restroom floor, it seemed like nothing could go right. 
Agatha had been at work herself so you had to call one of your college friends to give you a ride after. 
And now you had to sit in a class on Personality Theory for the next three hours and listen to your professor drone off on tangents. You would be getting your tests back from last week though, and you were hoping you had done well. 
“Alright, before we get started, I’ll go ahead and pass out your exams. Once I call your name, you can come up and look at it,” your professor says and you anxiously tap your fingers on the desk while you wait for your turn. 
Finally, he says your name. Butterflies in your stomach, you walk to the front to look and it’s like you’ve been punched in the gut. 
There must be something wrong, you don’t understand how you missed this many. 
Red ink stains the page and you have to clench your jaw together to keep your composure. Tears prick at your eyes as you hand the exam back to your professor and head back to your seat, burning with shame. 
It seems like it’s just one thing after another. 
You barely pay attention for the rest of class, head spinning with thoughts of how bad you did, how everything sucks, how you just want to go home. 
Agatha texts you a few times during the three hour time span, just checking in on you, but you don’t even respond. She always says that you get too wrapped up in your own brain and you know she’s right. You do let her know that you won’t need a ride home, not sure you could take the older woman’s softness right now. 
You just want to take a shower and lie in bed. 
Class finally ends and you order an Uber instead of asking a friend to take you home. When you get in these moods, you don’t want to talk to anyone. 
You grunt in response to the driver’s question of asking how you are and then the rest of the ride is spent in silence. It’s not often you get in such a foul mood, but when it does, it’s tough. 
When you make it through the front door of Agatha’s home, you immediately collapse on the couch and breathe in the blanket that still has her scent. She’ll be home soon and now you just want her to give you a big hug and tell you that everything will be alright. 
You hear keys jingle in the front door maybe ten minutes later and you sit up on the couch expectantly, heartbeat picking up. You’ve been with Agatha for six months now and she still managed to have the same effect on you that she had at the beginning. 
“Hey, baby,” she calls out, seeing the lights on, and she makes her way to the living room to find you swaddled in her favorite blanket on the couch. She frowns, instantly able to tell something is wrong. Usually you get up to give her a kiss. “You okay?” 
And then it’s like a dam breaks. You start sobbing and telling her all the things that have gone wrong that day and she instantly sits down next to you, engulfing you into a hug and whispering that everything will be okay. 
She lets you cry for a bit, hand stroking your hair, making soothing sounds. Eventually, you calm down enough to take slow, shaky breaths. 
“I’m sorry, doll. Sounds like you had a rough day,” she says, pressing a kiss to your head and wiping the tears off your cheeks. You nod in agreement. “Is there anything I can do to help?” 
You shrug while you think about it. And then you lean in and chastely kiss her lips. 
When you pull back, she’s smirking. 
“You want mommy to help you?” She coos and instantly, a fire awakens in your belly at the use of your favorite name for her. Your head bobs up and down eagerly but she tuts and grabs your jaw to hold it still. “Words, baby.” 
“Yes please, mommy,” you whisper. No one can make you feel as good as Agatha can. 
“Good girl,” Agatha hums and the fire gets worse. “What do you want?” 
You squirm on the couch, just looking at her, begging with wide eyes. 
“Why don’t you show me what you want?” You whine and grab her hand and bring it down to your shorts. “Oh, do you want me to touch you?” 
“Please,” you force out again. “Touch me, mommy.” 
Her grin is wicked as she lays you back down on the couch, positioning herself so she’s holding her weight above you. Your noses are almost close enough to touch. 
“Does my little baby want me to reward her like the perfect little angel that she is?” Agatha purrs and you gasp, feeling your head start to get fuzzy. She plays with the waistband of your shorts and your hips buck up involuntarily. You make a sort of strangled noise from your throat – all you can do, really – and she shushes you. “Just relax, doll. Let mommy take care of you.” You whimper as she kisses your nose and moves down your body to undress you. 
You feel like you’re on a different planet when Agatha pats your waist so you can lift yourself up for her to take your shorts and underwear off. 
“There we go, so good for me,” she says, leaving kisses against your thighs. You moan, senses heightened. You babble something incoherently and you can hear her chuckling at you. “Baby, you’re absolutely dripping for me.” 
Her fingers move up and down your slit, collecting wetness, and sounds are pulled out of your mouth by her administration. 
“Does that feel good, hon?” 
Your head lulls back on the couch and you try to say something to affirm her question. 
“Aw, is my little baby in subspace right now?” Something in the back of your mind tells you that you must be, but you’re too blissed out to answer. 
And then her tongue is on your pussy and you couldn’t say a word even if you tried. If you didn’t already feel like you were floating then, you sure do now. Your back arches off the couch as she sucks on your clit but her hands come up to hold you down. 
“Be a good girl for me and let mommy do all the work.” 
Your moans get louder as she keeps eating you out and you’ve never felt this good before. It’s like all your worries and stress and frustration that built up over the day are melting away to leave you in a puddle of pleasure. 
“Mommy, so close,” you slur, hands digging into the couch beneath you. Her teeth scrape against your clit and she moans into you and it sends you into an explosive orgasm. 
You’re not sure you’ve ever cum that hard. 
She licks you through it and you have to pull her away after a while because you become sensitive. 
Agatha comes up to kiss you, long and hard, and you can taste yourself on her tongue. 
“Do you want to try something new tonight, baby?” She asks once she pulls away and you nod eagerly before even asking what it is. You trust her more than anyone. “I’ll be right back.” She gives you one last parting kiss and quickly runs upstairs. 
She’s up there for a few minutes while you lay on the couch, still in a trance-like haze. 
And then she comes back down and your mouth falls open. 
Attached to her hips is the biggest strap-on you’ve ever seen. She must have just bought it. You had gotten to where you could take the toys you had pretty easily, but you are certain that this will stretch you out so much more than them. 
“Mommy,” you whisper, eyes widening as she comes back over to the couch. You can see that she’s holding lube in one hand. 
“Mommy wants to see if your tiny, little pussy can fit her big cock,” she says and a thrill runs through you despite yourself. “Might have to work you up to it.” 
Your legs part without thinking and she laughs. 
“So desperate for me, aren’t you? My perfect, little slut.” You gasp at the words, feeling yourself get even more wet. 
While you loved the praise from her, degradation almost turned you on more. 
“You have to relax, baby,” she reminds you, moving to kneel on the couch between your legs and pushing them even more open. She rubs your clit and slides two fingers in easily. You grind up on her fingers, trying to pull them in more. “Look at how well you take my fingers. So good for mommy. You can’t get enough of them, can you?” 
You shake your head and groan when she curls them just right. 
“Such a good whore for mommy,” she sighs. “Can you take another?” 
“Please,” you gasp out, walls clenching around the two already inside you. She pulls them and you feel empty, but that feeling is quickly gone when she pushes three in you. The stretch feels so good and your hips meet her every thrust, the pleasure in you already growing. 
And then it’s gone. Your head flies up to look at her wrapping the hand wet with you around her strap and coating it. And then she opens the bottle of lube and pours a hefty amount in her other hand to also stroke the toy with. 
“Are you ready, baby?” 
“Go slow, mommy,” you tell her, even though you know that she will. “You’re so big.” 
“You’re going to look so pretty, sweetheart, stretched around my big cock,” she says and positions the tip at your entrance. “Like a little, perfect slut. 
The first push steals all the air from your lungs. 
“Fuck,” you groan. You’ve never been so full in your life and you barely have any of it inside you. Agatha doesn’t move, just rubs small circles on your thighs and waits for you to tell her you’re okay. 
It takes a few moments for you to adjust. It’s definitely easier in the headspace that you’re in right now. 
“Okay,” you say and Agatha obeys, slowly moving forward inside you. She stops when your breathing gets strangled and doesn’t move again until you’re back to normal. 
“God, your little pussy looks so good taking my big cock so well,” she grunts once she finally bottoms out. If your mind was clearer, you’d tease her about the size kink she so clearly has. “How are you doing, baby? Can I move?” 
“Please, mommy,” you beg, still feeling euphoric. Every drag of her cock against your walls now feels like heaven. She smirks and starts to move.
She starts slow at first, just short, slow strokes to make sure that you’re still comfortable, and then she starts to really fuck you. 
The pace Agatha sets is rough and bruising and you can hear the wet, squelching sounds that the toy makes as it pushes back inside you every thrust, a mix of your wetness and lube. 
“Mommy,” is all you can pant as she fucks into you over and over again, a light sheen of sweat breaking out on her. 
“So fucking good, sweetheart, you’re taking my cock so well, such a perfect slut for mommy,” Agatha mutters, never slowing down once. If you were already in subspace before, you’re not sure you have a word for what state you’re in right now. There are not even semblances of thoughts in your head, there is only Agatha and the pleasure she is giving you. You can’t even remember what you were in such a bad mood about earlier. 
She reaches down to rub your clit again and you hear someone moan obscenely loudly. 
You think it might have been you. 
All you know is that you’re getting so close again you can taste it. She seems like she can tell because she somehow speeds up, which you didn’t think was possible. Little gasps are forced out of your mouth with every push and your walls are tightening so much around her that it makes it hard for her to thrust. 
“So good, baby, you’re taking me so well,” Agatha chants, a hand reaching up to play with your nipple under your shirt. “So perfect, such a perfect slut, my perfect good girl. Cum for mommy, cum all over mommy’s big cock.” 
She angles her hips just right and rubs your clit hard and you spasm, back bowing off the couch. You’ve never felt pleasure this extreme; it feels like you’re having an out-of-body experience. All the tension in your body is gone and you pant heavily as Agatha pulls out of you. 
“You okay, baby?” She asks and you wheeze a laugh. 
“M’okay,” you say happily, a slow smile spreading onto your face. You can feel your head clearing with the loss of her touch. 
“Let me get a washcloth, alright? I’ll be right back, I promise.” She gives you a kiss on your head and she’s back in what seems like seconds with a warm towel. You wince at the feeling of it between her legs but it helps. “Do you want to move to bed?” 
You nod, but you’re not actually sure if you can stand up based on the jelly feeling in your legs. Agatha seems to understand this without you saying anything and she scoops you off the couch bridal style and carries you up the stairs. 
You giggle and burrow your head into the crook of her neck, breathing her in and feeling her against you. 
“You did so good, baby,” she whispers. 
“Thank you, Agatha. I really needed that.” 
She pauses for a second in the hallway to peck your lips. “I know you did. I’m happy to help, sweetheart. Whatever you need.” 
Once in the bedroom, Agatha helps you into some comfy pajamas and makes you take sips of water from the bottle on her nightstand. You lay down and she pulls the covers over you both, pulling you close to her so she can wrap an arm around you. 
“You’re so perfect, baby, you know that?” She murmurs. “I love you so much.” She kisses you softly, bringing a hand up to stroke your hair. 
“I love you too,” you mumble in-between kisses. No one has ever made you feel more loved than Agatha. 
“I’m so proud of you,” she continues and you blush. “I know you had a hard day today, but tomorrow will be better. You’re so strong. You’re my perfect girl. I love you.” 
And she keeps whispering the sweetest things into your ear, and you drift off to sleep in her arms, feeling like nothing was ever wrong. 
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cosyvelvetorchid · 3 days ago
Text
‘Death Becomes Them’ chapter 1 is up!
Read on ao3 or below
**********
Rated: E (not this chapter)
Words: 3,111
TW: death, homophobic language.
Summary:
A month after Tommy devastates Buck by breaking up with him, Tommy’s dad dies and he find himself at Bucks door searching for comfort.
Although Buck is still reeling (and baking) from the break up, he can’t find it in him to leave Tommy to deal with his grief alone and agrees to accompany Tommy back to his childhood home while he deals with the arrangements.
Spending a few days together, with Tommy finally opening up about his past, makes them both reevaluate things and share some truths.
**********
Buck stood staring at the inside of his full to the brim fridge wondering where hell he was going to put the latest offering, a six-layer chocolate cake.
It’s was fine. He’d take out the banana loaf and walnut cake and take them to the B-shift on his day off tomorrow. He was in the middle of trying to squeeze it into the fridge when a loud knock on the door came out of nowhere and he almost dropped it.
“God damnit!” He swore before putting it back down on the counter and walking to the door.
He opened it and every breath seemed to leave his body.
“T-Tommy.”
His heart swung like a pendulum between utter joy at seeing his face again and raging anger that he’d just shown up out of the blue.
He knew they’d run into each other eventually but figured it would be on the job. He thought he’d have more time to prepare for seeing those eyes again. Those same eyes that had looked into his whilst opening up his chest cavity and ripping out his heart by hand.
However, something was different about Tommy’s eyes. They weren’t the bright blue ones he was used to (and missed) seeing. They were dull and unfocused.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.
Tommy’s eyes took a few seconds to focus on Buck before he spoke. His voice was not one Buck had ever heard from him before. It wasn’t the deep, confident one that comforted him after a bad call or whispered beautiful commands into his ear when naked and tangled up together in bed.
It was meek and fragile; his tone giving away that even he himself was surprised by what he was about to say:
“My dad died.”
The half of Buck heart that still existed solely for Tommy, cracked. He stepped aside to allow Tommy to enter and he took a few slow steps into Bucks apartment. He stood almost perfectly in between the door and the kitchen island just staring ahead.
Buck had the fight the instinct to wrap his arms around him. He couldn’t do that. Not now. He didn’t have the right—he wasn’t Tommy’s boyfriend anymore.
“Are.. are you okay?” He asked instead, rounding the island and standing at the other end. Tommys eyes continued to stare forward, not meeting his.
“I don’t.. I don’t know. We hadn’t talked in.. 10 years. I..”
Tommy had occasionally mentioned vaguely that he didn’t talk to his dad; compared him to Gerrard once, but that was about it. Buck hadn’t want to pry so didn’t asked about him.
Buck was uncertain about asking the question; terrified he’d scare Tommy away. But he’d never seen Tommy like this in the entire time they were together.
His shoulders were slumped; arms hanging loosely by his side—hands not on his hips or in his pockets like he’d usually stand. He was every bit not the Tommy he’d knew.
“Do you.. do you want to talk about it?”
Tommy’s eyes finally focused on Bucks and he could see the shiny emotion glazed across the surface that Tommy was trying to keep at bay.
Tommy nodded silently.
“Okay.” Buck said softly. “You go and sit on the couch and I’ll make us some tea.” Tommy didn’t respond but did as Buck asked and aimlessly walked over to the couch.
Buck opened a cabinet and slid a few things aside until the box of double bergamot tea came into view. It was Tommy’s favourite and Buck hadn’t thrown it away. Truthfully, he hadn’t gotten rid of anything that belonged to Tommy. Not his toothbrush, not his protein bars and not his pretentious tea.
Getting rid of Tommy’s things, even if they were just stupid unimportant things like his favourite snacks, meant getting rid of Tommy. Buck wasn’t ready for that. Instead he shoved Tommys toothbrush into the bathroom cabinet, hid the protein bars in the back of his pantry and his tea behind cans of soup.
He placed two mugs of steaming tea onto the coffee table and took at seat on the opposite side of the couch.
“Thanks.” Tommy said quietly.
“Can.. can I ask what happened?” Buck asked.
“Uh, doctors think it was a heart attack. The kid that delivered his newspaper every morning called the police when he hadn’t picked it up from the yard yesterday.” Tommy told him.
“How did he know something was wrong that soon?”
Tommy let out a small laugh but it was cold and empty. “Because he knew my dad wouldn’t leave it out longer than a few minutes. You so much as bend a blade of his grass in the wrong direction and you’d know about it.”
Resentment oozed from the word “his”. Along with the weight of a story Buck wasn’t privy to.
“He was.. he was particular about his front yard?”
“He was particular about everything. Everything had to be perfect. The perfect yard in front of the perfect house with the perfect family inside. Superficially anyway. But behind that front door..” he shook his head a swallowed. “..it was hell.”
There were a thousand questions Buck had in his desperation to know more about Tommy. But none he felt comfortable asking. He wasn’t talking about past relationships or old jobs—he was talking about his childhood. One that, judging by Tommy’s tone and his body language, wasn’t one he spoken about much before. If ever.
Buck was still struck by the difference in Tommy’s presence. He was sat on Bucks couch with his hands in his lap; fingers picking at his nails. His posture wasn’t upright and confident, instead he was almost curled down into himself.
Tommy reached forward and held the mug of tea in both hands without taking a sip, as though he were trying to preoccupy his hands.
“When I a kid, like 6 or something, my dad got a job in this warehouse doing night shifts. I’d help my mom cook dinner. Mostly by badly stirring stuff. But it was the only time it got to be just me and her.” A somber smile flashed across his face at the memory. “One night, my dad came home early; had a fight with the Forman and got fired. He was angry as hell when he walked in but when he saw me helping mom..” He blew out a breath. “He yanked me to him by my collar and screamed in my face that.. that only fags and women cook. I.. I was 6–I didn’t know what that word meant, but I knew it was a bad thing.”
Buck’s heart broke at Tommy’s confession. He had his own issues with his parents but at worst they were emotionally neglectful— they were never intentionally cruel or abusive. He couldn’t imagine being in an environment like Tommy’s.
“That was his go to insult for everything that was remotely feminine, or he thought was feminine. Unless you cried. That got you beaten into silence.”
Buck instinctively reached out and placed a hand on Tommy’s forearm.
“They need me to, uh.. identify is body formally tomorrow.” Tommy said stopping to take a breath. “I know that I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but-“
“What time do we need to be there?” Buck interrupted. It was a no brainer to him to go with Tommy.
His feelings for the man—including the anger—were still deeply situated inside of him, and simply being in Tommy’s presence made it feel as though his heart was in a vice. But he’d take that pain for Tommy’s sake, if it could provide him even the smallest amount of comfort.
“Are you sure?” He asked finally looking at Buck. “I you don’t have to..”
Without thinking he reached up and held Tommy’s face with his hand. “I want to.” He said softly. Tommy closed his eyes for a second, tilting his head into Bucks hand.
For a fraction of a moment it felt like before. Like neither of them had had their hearts broken. The familiar feeling of Tommy’s unshaven jaw in Bucks hand, and the comforting feeling of Bucks palm on Tommy’s face.
Tommy pulled away from Bucks had with an awkward cough.
“I said I’d meet the coroner at the hospital at 1 o’clock. So, we should leave around 8am.” He said.
“Okay.”
Tommy put his half empty mug on the coffee table and stood up. “Thanks for the tea. I should go home.”
“No!” Buck replied louder and quicker than he had anticipated.
“Buck.” Tommy argued and Buck swallowed away the pain at hearing Tommy call him that. “That’s not-.”
“I mean you can stay on the couch.” Tommy opened his mouth to argue but Buck carried on. “I just.. I don’t think it’s safe for you to drive like this.”
Tommy looked as though he wanted to argue but didn’t.
“Okay.” He eventually conceded.
“I-I’ll get you a blanket.” Buck said leaving for his bedroom.
He opened his linen closet and stood behind it for a second to take a few breaths. His heart had been racing since the moment Tommy knocked on the door. So many conflicting feelings were bouncing around in his head and heart he was in danger of spinning out.
Torn between wanting to scream in Tommys face, letting him know in gory and intimate detail how he’d destroyed Bucks heart when he unceremoniously dumped him in the middle of his kitchen and walked out, and also wanting to tell Tommy he still loved him and beg him to take him back.
He blew out a last heavy breath and pulled out a blanket and pillow before walking back down the stairs.
Tommy took it from him and noticed the tag still attached at one of the corners. “New blanket?”
“Oh. Sorry.” Buck pulled off the tag. “Yeah I, uh.. bought it after you stayed on the couch when I dislocated my shoulder. That old one barely covered you.” He huffed a small laugh.
Tommy looked as though he wanted to say something and Buck looked back in anticipation. Instead Tommy turned away to lay the pillow on the other end of the couch.
“If you need anything I’ll be upstairs.” Buck walked to the stairs and climbed the first step.
“Thank you, Evan.”
His heart flickered at hearing his name spoken again from Tommy’s mouth. “You’re welcome, Tommy.”
*
Bucks sleep was patchy at best.
Tommy fucking Kinard, the man who helped to unlock the door to a hidden galaxy of feelings within himself; his ex boyfriend; the man who tore his heart to pieces ventricle by ventricle; the man who his ventricle-less heart still searched for to find its natural rhythm, was laying 6 feet beneath him.
How was he supposed to sleep soundly with that?!
Around 6:30am he got out of bed, bleary-eyed, and crept downstairs as quietly as possible to shower. He hoped that the steaming hot water that cascaded over his body would also wash away the apprehension he was feeling.
It did not.
After getting out and drying off he opened the cabinet under the sink to retrieve Tommy’s stupidly expensive (in Buck’s humble opinion) shower gel, along with his shampoo and put them both back in the shower, then put his toothbrush back into the holder in front of the mirror.
They looked like they belonged there. They did belong there. His bathroom had somehow looked entirely different for the last month having only a couple of things removed and hidden away. Every time Buck entered the room, a room he’d entered probably thousands of times in the years he’d lived there, without Tommy’s possessions dotted around, it looked empty.
As quietly as a he could he left the bathroom and put on the coffee. He was going to need caffeine today. And carbs. Lots of carbs. He eyed up the banana loaf that was still on the counter from last night and decided it was the perfect breakfast.
Buck walked over to the couch to wake up Tommy but stopped for a moment to look at him. He was lying on his back, one leg straight, the other bent with just a slither of his bare knee poking out of the side of the blanket.
His face was slack; calm and devoid of any of the grief.
Beautiful.
“Tommy?” He said tapping his leg. He shifted in his position but didn’t wake. “Tommy?” Buck said a little louder.
“Mmm five’more m’nits baby.” He mumbled and god did that shoot what felt like another lightning bolt directly to Bucks heart.
“Tommy.” He said louder and gave his knee a rougher shake. Tommy’s eyes shot open and he leaned up quickly scanning his surroundings before his eyes met Bucks. His body relaxed a little when he realised where he was.
“Sorry.” Buck said quietly. “It’s almost 7. I thought you might want to have a shower and some coffee before we left.”
Tommy rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times in an attempt to wake himself as he sat up.
“Uh, thanks.”
“There’s coffee in the kitchen and fresh towels in the bathroom. Help yourself.” He said. And god did it feel weird.
Informing him of fresh towels and beverages like it was a fucking hotel. He hadn’t had to do that in so long. From the moment they started dating Tommy had slid into place in Bucks apartment as though he’d always been there. They’d move in sync around the place whilst getting ready for the day or winding down for bedtime.
Tommy knew where the towels were kept and the wash cloths. He knew which shelf Buck preferred to keep his milk and where he’d keep his extra stack of dish sponges. Extra pillows, batteries for the TV remote and the secret stash of ice cream in the back of the freezer Buck always denied the existence of—Tommy knew it all.
And now Buck was forced to treat him like a temporary guest.
Tommy sat up fully and stretched before removing the blanket. Of course the first thing Buck noticed was Tommy was only wearing boxers on his lower half. He knew Tommy didn’t like wearing sweats or pyjamas to bed and yet he hadn’t prepared his eyes to catch sight of him like this again.
He bit back a sound and quickly turned on his heels and made for his bedroom closet returning a minute later with clothes in his arms and hoping Tommy had had the sense to put his sweats back on.
He had thankfully.
Buck placed the clothes on the table. “Some fresh clothes.”
“You didn’t have to-“
“They’re, uh, yours.” Buck said feeling a flush of embarrassment slither through him.
“Oh.” Tommy said looking at the washed out jeans and navy hoodie that he knew would have “LAFD Harbor Station” logo on its breast. “I thought you’d have thrown them out.” He sounded surprised.
“I wouldn’t just throw them away—they belonged to you.” He walked over to the coffee pot; a sudden need to turn away from Tommy’s face. “I wasn’t ready to get rid of them yet.”
If Tommy wanted to say something, he kept it hidden. Buck poured two mugs of coffee and turned back to hand one to Tommy.
Without thinking Tommy walked to the fridge—something he always did before—to retrieve the milk.
“Jesus.” He said being suddenly face to face with some serious competition to the Great British Bake Off.”
Buck flushed with embarrassment once more. “Yeah, I-I’ve been baking.”
“I can see that.” Tommy replied not being able to look away from the baked goods.
“Uh, here.” Buck moved a few things out of the way to get to the milk that had been pushed to back.
His shoulder brushed up against Tommy’s and his stomach twisted at the familiar touch. He ached to stand there body to body; basking in Tommy’s familiar smell and warmth. Instead he moved away to shove a mouthful of banana bread into his mouth to distract himself.
“I’m gonna take that shower.” Tommy told him and disappeared into the bathroom.
*
The drive up to Tommy’s old town was mostly quiet. Buck had tried arguing that Tommy didn’t have to drive but he insisted. He’d asked about the 118 and Buck had told him what they’d be up to (aside from Maddie being pregnant), and how Denny was recovering. Buck had asked about Lucy and Melton and the others at the Harbor and Tommy had filled him in about Meltons anniversary and Lucy’s latest dating debacle.
They didn’t talk about them—as an ex couple or individually. Neither asked what the other had been up to or how each of them was and both seemed to be content with that for now. Just driving the open road towards Tommy’s past.
Buck wasn’t new to seeing a dead body; the sad reality of his job. But there was something entirely different about peering through a window in a hospital corridor and seeing someone lying still and pale on a gurney with a sheet draped up to the chest.
The clinical nature of the moment gave Buck an uncomfortable feeling. His eyes took in Thomas Kinard Sr’s features and he tried to connect them to Thomas Jr’s. He definitely had his father’s nose and those cheek bones were definitely from the Kinard family gene pool. Everything else he must have gotten from his mother. Bucks mind drifted to what she would look like.
He was pulled back to reality when Tommys hand grabbed onto his for stability.
“Yeah. Yeah that’s him. Thomas Kinard.”
After signing a few forms, the hospital were happy with Tommy’s formal identification and sent him on his way with information about a local funeral home and a clear plastic bag with his fathers wallet and keys inside that had been on his body when he was brought into the hospital.
25 minutes. That’s how long it took to walk into a hospital, identity your father’s dead body, sign some forms and walk out.
They got back into Tommys truck and he blew out a deep breath.
“You okay? That.. that was hard, I know.”
“Yeah. I’m.. I’m okay.” Tommy answered. Buck wasn’t sure whether to believe him. He seemed okay but Buck was well aware how good Tommy was at keeping things to himself.
“What do you want to do now?” Buck asked.
“I think.. I think I want to go home.”
“Okay. But I’m driving this time. And no argument, Tommy, you-“
“No.” Tommy interrupted. “My dad’s house.”
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